#he defo is too good to be true

[starrynightsxo]

I AM 50% THROUGH SHATTER ME.

respectfully, who tf is adam and why have I not heard anything about him. ever.

[astonmartinii]

nonsense... or is it? | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem singer!reader

face claim: sabrina carpenter

based on this request: sooo, anyways,,, i was thinking maybe a smau where Charles is playing the guy who Milo was and this obviously breaks the internet even more and this leads to them dating ??? idk, just like a really wholesome one where she was his celebrity crush and now they're dating bc of them getting know each other more bc of the music video. sorry if this is all over the place but yeah. - @whoreks

MASTERLIST | BUY ME A KO-FI?

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, charles_leclerc and 1,200,441 others

yourusername: holla babes !!! the feather music video is heading your way fast xxx if only my real boyfriends were like my music videos ones ...

view all comments

user1: MOTHER

user2: finally music videos are back baby !!

taylorswift: you can still make the whole place shimmer ✨

yourusername: thanks to you baby

user3: oh to be able to call taylor swift baby

user4: y/n's shade is so underrated - i too wish her boyfriends were as good as her mv ones

user5: she's got such a good eye for casting why can't she do this in her actual love life

user6: okay but he's hot based off a single shoulder i'm excited

user7: you got that from a SHOULDER?

user8: he's TALL?

user9: babe y/n is like 4'2 she makes everyone look tall

user10: say what you want about the catholic church, they got the aesthetic down pat

yourbff1: so we aren't asking the mv boyf out? boring.

yourusername: we have lil things called phones? USE IT HOE

user11: charles leclerc in the likes

user12: so true of him

user13: unless he's... the guy

user14: babe he's way too short lol

user15: have yall seen the sky ad? baby aint acting any time soon

yourusername

liked by yourbff1, charles_leclerc and 1,763,550 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: OMG you guys blew the feather music video up !! i'm sure it had nothing to do with this random guy i found off the street? jokes, thank you charles for being the perf mv boyf xx

view all comments

user17: HOLY FUCKING SHIT

user18: celeb crush inception no one touch me

charles_leclerc: thank you for my music video debut, maybe you can return the favour one day?

yourusername: i'll return any favour you want

yourbff1: dial down the desperation babe

charles_leclerc: what if i want her to dial it up please?

yourbff1: do NOT encourage her

yourusername: please encourage me :)

user19: Y/N STAND UP PLEASE

user20: actually y/n is so real have yall seen that man YUM

liked by yourusername

user21: y/n is a genius for fancasting her future bf in her music video

danielricciardo: THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT? SHARL WHEN I CATCH YOU

pierregasly: and me :( i thought our friendship meant more ....

charles_leclerc: it was a secret

yourusername: he doesn't kiss and tell xoxo

alexalbon: WHAT ??????

charles_leclerc: okay we can stop joking now

yourusername: fine...

user22: the way charles was defo typing that through tears

user23: y/n make the move we believe in you

user24: believe in her? she can get anyone she wants he's gotta STEP UP

charles_leclerc

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 2,099,441 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: had a blast filming for my first ever music video, thank you y/n !!

view all comments

user25: i'm feeling a new unhealthy attachment forming

yourusername: feel free to come back any time soon

charles_leclerc: or maybe you can come to me?

yourusername: is this my paddock debut?

charles_leclerc: make sure you're wearing red and it sure can be

yourusername: let me check the wardrobe

user26: i will pass away if we get y/n at a race... in the ferrari garage ???

pierregasly: let it be known i am still angry that you didn't tell me, especially after all the weird rants i've listened to

alexalbon: me too

georgerussell63: me too

landonorris: me too

danielricciardo: me too

carlossainz55: me too

maxverstappen1: me too

charles_leclerc: why is max here?

maxverstappen1: that's what you're taking from this?

charles_leclerc: yeah why are you in my business

maxverstappen1: you make it my business you talk about her all the time

yourusername: oh really ???

charles_leclerc: HE'S A BIG FAT LIAR HE'S ALWAYS BEEN A BIG FAT LIAR ALL HIS LIFE INCLUDING WHEN I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY PUSHED HIM IN A PUDDLE

maxverstappen1: YOU DID PUSH ME IN THAT PUDDLE

yourusername: what is going on here?

user27: poor y/n being thrown into the grid drama

user28: poor charles with the grid trying to expose him

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 1,334,661 others

yourusername: clearly was feeling myself this week

view all comments

user31: lol why is max here

maxverstappen1: doing my due diligence as an investigative journalist

charles_leclerc: choke.

user32: is that charles? are we in the soft launch?

user33: let's not get ahead of ourselves, we know charles doesn't dress that well

user34: consider this: girlfriend effect

user35: girlfriend effect is gonna have to do some heavy lifting when it comes to charles' wardrobe

yourbff1: you think you're so slick don't you

yourusername: maybe. maybe not?

yourbff1: you're so annoying

yourusername: annoyingly cute?

liked by charles_leclerc

yourbff1: keep your nose out of women's business leclerc

charles_leclerc: SLANDER

user36: i mean they seem to have the same sense of humour

user37: not to sound insane but they are perfect for each other and i will be passing away if they are not together

pierregasly: interesting

danielricciardo: add it to the folder

charles_leclerc: folder ???

maxverstappen1: leave us journalists be

charles_leclerc: can you even read?

yourusername: GET HER JADE

maxverstappen1: add that as well

charles_leclerc: why can't we win?

user38: what is going on in the house of commons

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, yourusername and 2,331,663 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: i don't believe in soft launches

view all comments

user39: we been knew... but OMG PARENTS

user40: i am crying they're so hot

yourusername: hawt bf obtained

charles_leclerc: sexy gf in my inventory

yourusername: you're such a cute patootie

charles_leclerc: i cannot speak my mind or instagram will censor me

yourusername: ...oop hurry up and come back :(

charles_leclerc: about to break all US speeding laws xoxo

yourusername: not you in your charli xcx era

user41: he's with her ... in the US ... could we get y/n paddock debut in vegas ???

user42: would only be right i fear

user43: the scheduling just about makes sense before she has to go back to opening for taylor in south america

user44: now why did vegas not get in their bag and get y/n to perform at the opening ceremony?

pierregasly: way to ruin the investigation

danielricciardo: yeah we were in our sherlock holmes era

maxverstappen1: have to spoil everything don't you charles 🤨

charles_leclerc: i thought you guys wanted to know who my girlfriend is?

alexalbon: yes, but we wanted to expose it :(

yourusername: CORNY

pierregasly: oh no. he has someone on his side now

yourusername: damn right frenchie. i can hear your asshole twitching from here

pierregasly: WHAT ???

charles_leclerc: idk what that means but YEAH PIERRE TAKE THAT

charles_leclerc

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 2,114,762 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: gutted not to be on the top step but an overall great weekend in vegas. glad to have y/n by my side this weekend before she's off again to slay the stage xx

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user48: charles unironically using the word slay, the girlfriend effect knows no bounds

user49: the sky camera zooming in on y/n watching the podium

user50: i think we watched her fall in love in real time

user51: i mean look at the material... podium charles hits so different i think I FELL IN LOVE

yourusername: you're a winner to me babe

charles_leclerc: and that's all that matters

yourusername: NOPE STAY HUNGRY GET THEM POINTS AND DESTROY THE REST OF THE FIELD

charles_leclerc: okay :)

yourusername: good boy

pierregasly: never say that in public again

maxverstappen1: is this why he's blushing so much in the press conference?

charles_leclerc: NO. NO REASON

yourusername: you sure?

charles_leclerc: i am the unluckiest driver ever and am screwed over at every turn sue me if i like a lil praise

user52: charles is so real for that i also want y/n to tell me i'm doing a good job

alexalbon: enough time has passed. @yourusername can lily get some extra tickets for the eras tour

yourusername: of course. anything for my new bestie

lilymunhe: thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuu. charles you have amazing taste

charles_leclerc: i know :)

yourusername: i mean i got you, so who's the real winner here?

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, charles_leclerc and 1,667,982 others

tagged: charles_leclerc & taylorswift

yourusername: my leg of the eras tour has come to an end :( this was such an insane opportunity, thank you so much taylor xx but this also means i can go annoy charlie until he has to go back to work !!

one last nonsense outro:

i met this lovely boy named charlie,

he races round the world for ferrari,

giving it to me everyday like ari

view all comments

user53: i think y/n might actually be winning in life

user54: is she referencing everyday by ariana grande which is literally just a song about having constant sex?

yourusername: yes and what about it? f1 drivers have great stamina

arthurleclerc: DELETE ASAP

yourusername: no can do baby leclerc

user55: fave outro for real

charles_leclerc: i am blushing !!

pierregasly: she just told millions of people all you do is fuck and now you're blushing ???

yourusername: i don't think mr doggy emoji is talking right now

charles_leclerc: at least y/n did it in an artful way

pierregasly: believe me i know YOU WON'T STOP SINGING IT DOWN THE PHONE YOU MENACE

yourusername: you sing my songs :) ?

carlossainz55: ALL THE TIME

yourusername: i don't like your tone mr 🤨

charles_leclerc: i am just showing my love :(

yourusername: @pierregasly @carlossainz55 you made him sad APOLOGIZE IMMEDIATELY

pierregasly: sorry?

carlossainz55: sorry i guess?

charles_leclerc: thank you :) i shall continue to sing to my heart's content

yourusername: good.

taylorswift: you were amazing !! i'll see you soon my love xx

yourusername: i'm hearing double date ??

taylorswift: i'm sure that can be arranged

charles_leclerc: OMG

user56: charles and travis are really the top tier himbo bfs and i love them for that

fin.

note: i really loved writing this so i hope this was everything you imagined and more!! i'm just getting into sabrina's music but i was a girl meets world stan so... i hope i did the nonsense outro justice xxx

[biolumien]

Might I say that the Hoshina x Painter! reader was a brush stroke of genius. It's superb so if its possible, I'd like to request a part two?

Maybe Hoshina gets to go out on a date. And of course, the recruits quickly finding out about this and they sort of try to spy on them while they go about their day. Up to you really. I just live for the concept, and I defo want to see how things play out. Especially since their worlds are so far apart from each other.

He probably doesn't know the first thing about art. And Reader probably knows nothing of Kaijus. Let alone swordsmanship or martial arts. And the sudden match made between them is sure to make rapid news around Tachikawa base because, 'Ayo that's our Vice Captain with the famous painter who just so happened to paint his portrait a few days ago?' AKAKHSKNS such an endearing concept.

notes: insanely good pun. i hope this is okay! part 2 of this fic.

the second stroke

soshiro hoshina x gn!reader no warnings apply, i think! let me know, though. word count: 1306

talking to hoshina was–awkward. or so you thought, at least. you couldn’t exchange many words following the panel, apart from saying hi–hoshina had immediately gotten swarmed with questions–what was the relationship between the two of you? what was the meaning behind what you’d said? so you’d managed to find him in the aftermath, pulled him aside and made tentative plans to meet up in the coming days.

you stopped having dreams of your mysterious muse altogether at this point. once in awhile, you thought you might have felt the faint whisper of warmth, the ghosting touch of lips brushed against the side of your face. that had to have been real, right? but the fact that you couldn’t remember your dreams now–if you even had them at all, worried you more th an you’d like to admit.

you’d agreed on a date in a discrete location–but despite that, you held a pretty large parasol in the park, with loose-fitting clothes to disguise the bulk of your figure.

“so it’s true, then?” hoshina asks as the two of you wander the park, past some shady trees. “that’s… i mean, it’s… pretty… ha, i mean, that kind of stuff comes out of a romance novel, no?” 

you like the way the sunlight dapples across his hair, dances across the bridge of his nose. your fingers itch to paint, to scrape a palette knife across a stretch of canvas. 

“it sounds far fetched to me, too,” you mumble, spinning the straw of your drink. “that i would dream of a man from a past life–who… happens to be you. happened. to be you. also in a past life. and i think… well, i–i think we were lovers? or-or something like that.”

“lovers,” hoshina echoes. 

he pauses.

your face feels hot.

“it’s stupid,” you mumble. “i know. i know it is.”

“it’s not,” hoshina says. “i mean–i’m not… a believer. in most of that kind of stuff, but. you painted me.” he laughs. “that’s gotta be proof of something bigger than the both of us. i don’t know if i should be happy or sad that it’s real. like–”

he flexes his hands.

“do you get what i mean? like–like… i’ve been telling myself that-that… i was doing everything within my power–to be the way i was, and then… if there really is some kind of divine providence, pulling us together–some red string of fate, the kind that bonds lovers together–how am i so sure that a god didn’t just decide the limits of my capabilities? i’m not sure… how to feel about it.”

you ponder his words.

“fighting kaiju is… a completely new world, compared to me,” you say. “but i’m sure even if it–even if it was divine providence, you’re doing something only you can do. and–and i think that’s wonderful.”

hoshina’s eyes soften.

“wonderful?” he murmurs. 

“yeah,” you say. “someone–not just someone, but… we’re all… relying on you. that’s something i could never imagine.”

“i mean–” hoshina laughs, brushing a hand across the back of his neck. “i couldn’t imagine painting the way you do. that seems so overwhelming–to conjure things from your imagination and deliver them to the page.”

you shake your head.

“it’s a bit of that, but it’s not completely from my imagination. i do a lot of portraits–with real models, things like that,” you mumble, your face flushing a little bit at his words. “it’s… mm. a complicated progress, but it’s not nearly as physically intensive as you fighting kaiju. i-i read a bit. from some of your press interviews.”

“oh?” hoshina’s eyes widen, and he laughs. “that’s–well, i didn’t… most of those were just–scripted.”

“my press interviews are, too,” you say.

hoshina’s lips quirk up.

“i guess we’re kind of the same, yeah?” hoshina says, nudging you slightly, his hand reaching out to cross the gap between the two of you–of you. he doesn’t intrude further though, even as he crosses the gap—seemingly shy and nervous, worried and careful not to do more until you were okay with it. 

you relax your stance a little, and his hand brushes against yours. 

“i guess so,” you say, blinking up at him. your face feels hot.

you don’t know whether the fluttering in your heart is from you or if it’s from that whisper of a past life, the repeated lines of affection–that it should feel this easy to fall for hoshina, because some version of you did, a stranger-yet-familiar-yet-familiar. hoshina’s expression is somehow fond, and he leans closer before–

he suddenly perks up, his head whirling around, checking the surroundings.

“what’s–” you start, but hoshina raises a hand, glancing at you before raising a finger to his lips. you fall silent, your heart pounding against your throat.

“come out,” hoshina says sharply. “you guys aren’t subtle at all. you’re lucky that kaiju are so stupid.” 

from behind one of the trees, several people come skulking out with lowered heads, as if they were scolded toddlers.

“i told you this was a bad idea,” says a boy with mint green hair, elbowing a taller, older man. the man hangs his head, recoiling dramatically at the boy’s touch. “you can’t get past hoshina at all.”

“in my defense,” the man says apologetically, remorsefully, “i was just curious where he was going… it’s not often he takes days off. you know this.”

“i warned you,” says a woman with her hair drawn up in a tall ponytail. her voice is quiet, but she’s striking–and you wonder what kind of charcoal you might use to sketch out the sharp lines of her face–and then you realize you’ve seen her face scattered across billboards. mina ashiro?

“i love this bit you guys do,” hoshina laughs, archly, “where you talk like i’m not even here. come on. if you want to–hey, put that–put that down. don’t–”

mina lowers her phone as hoshina blurts it out, her face bemused. 

“sorry,” mina says. “force of habit. i keep an album of every moment where you let your goody facade drop. do you want to see?” she looks at you, holding out her phone. “i have some where he’s asle–” “not on the first date,” hoshina says, his voice pitching higher. 

“first date?” the man’s eyes widen. “captain hoshina, you’re on a date? with that artist? the one who drew you?”

your eyes scan between him and hoshina.

“yes,” hoshina says tersely. “is it that weird?”

“no,” the man says. “just–you don’t seem like the romantic… type?”

“i’m not,” hoshina says.

you feel something like cold ice seize your throat.

“but i… i want to try,” hoshina amends, and his hand reaches out for yours, a grasping thread of intent. you entangle your fingers in his, and the weight of his hands feels right. like a preordained fate–you were always meant to find each other, and the weight and feel of his fingers entangling yours, his knuckles tightening as if he was afraid to see you disappear–

that was right.

“if we’re really bonded by fate, anyway,” hoshina says, glancing at you–and your heart seizes in your throat, caught by how earnest he seems– “i want to see it to the end.”

your face heats up.

“it was–it was just a painting,” you mumble. 

“a really good painting,” hoshina adds, and he laughs.

“you guys are cute,” mina says. “but you’re grossing me out. just a little.”

her face is impassive, but the corners of her lips quirk up a little as she says the words.

“oh, how it hurts,” hoshina says dramatically, pulling you closer to him, “to have stirred the ice-cold heart of mina ashiro so.”

and your face flushes again, brighter, but you cling tightly to hoshina like a lifeline, and wonder what shade of red you might use to carve out the feeling of love in your chest.

[pure-smut]

pain and pleasure.

featuring: Coach Ukai x f!reader

contains: virgin!reader, college coach!Ukai, dubcon/noncon (reader is defo coerced), reader dumbification, power imbalance, missionary, groping, Ukai is not a good guy in this I'm sorry!!!

note: all characters are over 18!

MDNI | 18+ content

word count: 1.8k

masterlist

You can pinpoint the exact day Coach Ukai smiled at you differently than usual. His face remained as serious as always but there was something in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. A hunger. You didn’t recognise it at the time but you flush regardless.

You haven’t been on the college volleyball team for long but you practiced four times a week, so you see Ukai often. His t-shirt is fitted against his broad chest and you would sometimes gaze at his forearms, not sure why you enjoy them so much but savouring them anyway. He’s the kind of coach that girls swoon over, giggling and whispering to each other, “He’s so hot!”. So, when you looks at you, hungry, you’re flattered and smile back.

“Y/N,” he calls as the team files out. “I need a word with you.”

“Oooh.” The rest of the team laugh as you blush furiously. “Y/N’s in trouble!”

It’s true you had missed a couple of spikes and you’re still working on your receive but nothing you think you’d get in trouble for. You linger awkwardly, tugging at the hem of your jersey as everyone leaves. Coach Ukai cocks his head.

“Relax, Y/N,” he says. “You’re not in trouble.”

He crosses his arms and trails his eyes over you. It’s not the first time you’ve seen that look in a man but it’s the first time it’s caused butterflies to break out in your stomach. You lower your eyes, wishing you could shake off your awkwardness. But you have to admit, you’re enjoying his laser-focussed attention, even if you don’t know what to do with it.

“However,” Ukai breaks the silence. “You haven’t been making the progress I expect from you.”

“Oh.” You glance up, crestfallen at the idea of disappointing him, but he doesn’t look overly displeased. “I’m sorry, sir.”

Ukai crosses the few steps between you. He’s close enough to make your heart start thumping.

“It’s nothing serious – I think you need to work on the theory more,” he explains, his eyes never leaving yours. “I’m happy to tutor you in the evenings.”

You swallow, unsure what to say. Have you really been doing so badly you need extra tutoring. You manage to make yourself match his eye contact, aware of how much taller he is than you.

“Here’s my address,” he says, apparently unbothered by your uncertaintly, and passes you a piece of paper. “Come around at six.”

“Of course, sir.” You clutch the paper to your chest and leave quickly, breathless.

*

It’s a warm evening so you wear your sundress as you arrive at Coach Ukai’s house. He ushers you in quickly, showing you to his living room. When he offers you a glass of wine, you’re not sure but you want him to think you’re sophisticated so you agree.

You expect to sit at a desk but instead, he guides you to the couch where you both sit down. Ukai’s wearing an easy smile as he rests his arm on the back of the couch.

“You’re getting on well with the team,” he remarks as you take a small sip of wine.

“Yeah, I think so.” You nod, not sure what to do with your hands so taking another drink. “We’re friends.”

“And we’re friends too, right, Y/N?”

You nearly choke on the wine. Ukai smiles at you with that hunger in his eyes again. Not for the first time, you feel like prey under a predators’ gaze.

“Y-yeah. Of course.”

“I’d like to be more than friends.” He reaches out to brush a thumb across your cheek.

He’s so close you can smell his cologne. It’s intoxicating.

“More than friends?” you breathe. Your heart thumps against your ribcage.

“But it would need to be a secret,” he whispers, his face inches from yours. “Can you do that?”

“Yes.” You nod, closing your eyes. “I’d do anything for you, sir.”

Ukai’s lips are on yours, the roughness of his stubble at odds with the softness of his mouth. It warms every inch of you. He cups your face and pushes you back on the couch, putting both your glasses of wine to the side. You feel so small under his large form, so completely powerless under the weight of him.

Ukai kisses you deeply, hungrily, but with a slowness that suggests he’s savouring it. You arch your back, feeling so desired you want to close every inch between you.

“Good girl,” Ukai moans, moving from your mouth to your neck.

Thrilled, you raise your chin, allowing him better access to the delicate skin of your neck. He licks across your windpipe, leaving a trail of kisses down to your collarbone. His hand moves from your face down to the neckline of your dress, tugging it down. You only remember you’re braless when you feel the rough callouses of his hand as it closes over your breast.

“W-wait,” you gasp. “I’m not sure about this.”

You had never gone this far with anyone before, let alone someone fifteen years your senior. A stab of fear cuts through your excitement. But Ukai only continues to fondle you, his mouth on your neck.

“You wanted this,” he breathes against the shell of your ear. His fingers pinch your nipple in a way that sends a jolt through your body. “You came in here with no bra on, teasing me.”

Ukai’s words conflict you. Are you being a tease? Are you being unfair by flaunting your breasts and not allowing him to touch them?

Coach Ukai pays no mind to your hesitation, pulling down the neckline of your dress to expose both of your tits to him. You inhale sharply, the most exposed and vulnerable you’ve ever felt with someone. You automatically raise an arm to cover yourself but he grabs your wrist, pinning it above you. You struggle against him.

“Please, sir,” you beg.

“You’ve been throwing yourself at me.” He kisses your neck with a gentleness that contradicts with his rough words. “You want this so you can stop pretending and just enjoy it.”

You give one last struggle before giving up, deflated at his superior strength and his words. You had wanted this. How many girls would kill to be in this position with Ukai right now? He’s right. You teased him so it’s only fair you let him have his way.

Ukai feels you sag against him and kisses your lips again. You kiss him back.

“That’s a good girl,” he murmurs into your mouth. “Are you a virgin, baby?”

You nod, tears threatening to spill.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make it feel good,” Ukai assures you.

He repositions himself between your legs, forcing them apart, your dress riding up to your hips. You can’t ignore the hardness presses against your mound and you’re thankful you kept your panties on, if not your bra.

Coach Ukai moves his mouth down to your nipples, capturing one in his mouth and sucking with his hand massages the soft flesh. Despite your fear, your body is getting aroused and you know you’re wet already. Your clit throbs and you find yourself grinding against his hardness, your hips moving on their own.

“You want it, baby?” Ukai pulls his mouth away and unbuckles his belt.

You nod, tears finally spilling. You hate yourself for it but you’re start to become desperate to orgasm. Ukai pulls down his jeans and boxers, just low enough for his cock to spring free. You look down but can’t see much in the semi-darkness and through your wet lashes. But you do feel it slap against your clit, causing you to involuntarily arch your back.

“Look at you spreading your legs for me,” Ukai groans, running a finger along my clothed pussy. “Look at how wet you are for your coach’s cock.”

Ukai hooks a finger under your panties and pulls them to the side, his eyes fixed on your glistening lips. A grin plays on his lips.

“You really want it.”

He doesn’t phrase it as a question but you nod anyway.

“Yes, sir. Please.”

You feel a pressure on your pussy as Ukai lines the fat head of his cock up with your entrance, keeping your panties pulled out of the way. He smears his precum against your lips, mixing with your arousal.

“If you want to stay on the team, you’re gonna have these tutoring sessions with me every week,” Ukai instructs you.

His thumb strokes your swollen clit, sending sparks through your body.

“Oh, god…” you moan, so close to cumming you can’t think straight.

“Understand?”

“Yes, sir. Yes. Please, sir.”

You buck your hips against his thumb but he uses his other hand to press your hips against the couch, keeping you still. He keeps up the steady circles on your clit, his thumb slick with your juices, and begins to push himself inside you.

You expected your first time to hurt but it doesn’t. You feel Ukai stretch you but you’re so wet, it only provides further stimulation. He pushes himself slightly further before pulling out and sliding back in again, going deeper each time. The combination of his cock stroking in and out of you and his rubbing your clit sends you over the edge.

Your body tenses as waves and waves of pleasure course through you. Coach Ukai keeps up his steady rhythm through your orgasm, keeping you pinned against the sofa. He groans as your slick, hot walls contract around his cock, squeezing him tight.

“Good girl,” he grunts, only removing his thumb when you start to whimper from overstimulation.

He leans forward, grabbing the armrest of the couch to leverage himself as he starts to pound at you. His hips snap against the back of your thighs as he buries himself as deep as he can go. Ukai’s previous measured tenderness has gone, replaced with animalistic desire.

His calloused hands grope your breasts roughly as they bounce under the force of his fucking. He slaps them and pinches your nipples, enjoying the feel of your firm flesh under his palm.

You let him do what he wants, still dazed from creaming on his cock, obediently keeping your legs spread for him.

“So fucking tight, fuck.”

Ukai’s breathing quickens, his cock throbbing inside you. You don’t have time to realise what’s happening, that he’s not wearing a condom, before he buries himself to the hilt and spills inside you. Your half-lidded eyes snap open as you feel him, hot and sticky as he coats your walls with a groan.

Ukai collapses on top of you, his face in the crook of your neck.

“Thank you, sir,” you whisper. “Thank you for fucking me.”

Ukai raises his head to kiss you, his softness returning.

“Every week, you understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

[covenists]

✦ JUST A BANTER, M. SCHUMACHER

they're a romantic couple, but a key to a good relationship is a couple of banter, right?

fc: elle fanning

₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆｡✦˚‎

mickschumacher

liked by pierregasly, gelaelized, and 461,383 others

mickschumacher straight from the’ water 💧

👤: yourusername

view all 40,371 comments...

username OOOO BEACH WAVESSS MICKKKKK

username giving taylor swift man fr

mickschumacher giving all my credits to my beloved professional photographer🥹❤️

username he is just so gorgeous being there even though we cannot see his face

username i love you so much mick

⤷ yourusername me too

username HE'S LOOKING SO GOOD LIKE MAN THOSE JAW HAIR AND EVERYTHING HOW'S HE EVEN REAL

⤷ lilymhe i can see you giggling and kicking you feet everytime you see this comment, yourusername 🤨🥸

username messy hair, white shirt, camera shy... you sure this man wasn't book adapted?

⤷ yourusername i'm sure he's doing some reading to match his book man persona😉

username coming out straight from cruel summer and fearless, also a little bit of national anthem demo with a splash of brooklyn baby

username she bagged a literal treasure

username WHERE DO I FIND A MAN LIKE HIM LIKE AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH

username time to swim (i can't swim)

username i need more beach mick content

⤷ username LIKE LITERALLY YEASSSSS

username someday they will post a yacht content

estebanocon my child is so big already

⤷ yourusername thanks dad❤️🥰

username you know what they said when a beach content could turn into a yacht one, and then a plane, boat, then pic in a total SURF BOARD?????

username how is he so boyfriend though i don't understand????

⤷ username he boyfriending too high he reached the sky

⤷ username YES SHE DID IT SHE TOOK THIS PIC WE LOVE YOU Y/N❤️😚‼️‼️

yourusername just added to their story!

caption: a dad and his daughter

mickschumacher

liked by estebanocon, yourusername, mercedesamgf1, and 679,334 others

mickschumacher she still got her ice cream, don't worry

view all 29,629 comments...

oliviarodrigo the prettiest of all the duckies and the humanities

⤷ yourusername literally blushing so hard LIKE NO U GIRLLLLL

username what flavor is that??

⤷ yourusername biscoff (my favourite!)

username this whole comments section is literally owned by her

⤷ username i mean while that time we owned hers by simping on her boyfriend, we also need to praise mother now

username she's literally the sweetest

username asking for her beach era now after her boyfriend dominate the beach look

username if mick's taylor, she could be lana

⤷ username why not jailor, burton to her taylor?

⤷ username 🗣️🗣️‼️EVERY LOVER KNOWN IN COMPARISON IS A FAILURE‼️‼️‼️🔊🗣️

mickschumacher my ice cream monster, i love her😚

⤷ username “ICE CREAM MONSTER” MAN LIKE NAAAHHH😭😭😭

⤷ yourusername at least it's saved by the emoji

⤷ pierregasly what if i delete the emoji and the ‘i love her’ part?

⤷ yourusername i'll end you right now, gasly

username AW THE RUBBER DUCKK🐤🐤

username she looks so happy i can see the shine in her eyes

username I MEET HER RN AND I DROP DEAD IMMEDIATELY

⤷ username omg what is she smells like??

⤷ username marc jacobs daisy and a bit of biscuit smell when she hugged me

⤷ username must be from the molten ice cream then

mickschumacher

liked by pierregasly, nicholashoult, georgerussell63 and 578,366 others

mickschumacher better not to awake the sleeping lady

view all 37,558 comments...

yourusername you're lucky i love you

⤷ mickschumacher i'm sooo lucky😘

⤷ georgerussell63 get a room you mickschumacher!!

nicholashoult tell her brows to stop tensing

username defo bothered bcs that hair said she loved the dream

mickschumacher you looks so cute when you just woke up

⤷ yourusername that's better be true because here i look like a literal granny

username but she looks cute like this though

username hes so random😭😭 but the target is always her never esteban. right, estebanocon?

estebanocon found my new gf now hehe

⤷ username THE CASUAL HEHE MAN WDYM

⤷ username so that literally said they share her?

⤷ username probably he meant "my bf found a new gf hehe"

⤷ username i bet he's drunk

⤷ estebanocon je suis npt detuernk

⤷ username most definitely

username ESTEBAN'S COMMENT IS KILLING ME DAMN💀💀💀

username her hair looks like noodles...

username she become a grumpy lady now

username i'll be her too if i was distracted when i'm sleeping

⤷ username i mean aren't we all

yourusername

liked by mickschumacher, emmawatson, tchalamet, and 725,957 others

yourusername what beach era? i'm on my terrace girl era🥂

username she really said like, "forget my boyfriend beach look. i rule this now"

view all 78,102 comments...

⤷ username she's a girlboss look at her sitting position like that

username girlbossing too high she surpassed her post abt boyfriend's beach post

username SHE'S THE PRETTIEST

username sure i'll be switching sides now

username omg motherrrr😚😚

username she know she ate and left no crumb at the time she drink her champagne like that

username she literally has a beach waves when she's not in the beach

landonorris yeah you owned this you win

⤷ yourusername i know😄 don't forget your 50!

florencepugh y/n baby, go home the kids missed you

⤷ username so yall been betting this for the whole time?

⤷ yourusername omw🏎️

yourusername thank you to sir lewishamilton for the fashion advice

⤷ mickschumacher I'M LITERALLY RIGHT HERE!

⤷ lewishamilton anytime, darling❤️

⤷ mickschumacher why are you asking lewis help for your fashion, when LITERALLY your (cool, stylish) boyfriend is here.

⤷ yourusername oh no, that period wasn't gonna be good

username oh no mother and father is arguing☹️😫

⤷ mickschumacher it better be.

⤷ yourusername i'll try😬🥴

⤷ username yourusername just ask for his help next time gee

mickschumacher

liked by carlossainz55, estebanocon, parishilton, and 761,208 others

mickschumacher week with the lady (and tessa too)

👤: yourusername

username i miss you guys sm

yourusername i can see tessa's eyes for help

⤷ lissiemackintosh more like eyes for saying that she's comfy actually🥰

username the color is matching i love it

username i love his sunglasses though, very classy

⤷ mickschumacher LOOK yourusername CLASSY

⤷ mickschumacher i look cool, so no need for lewis's advice for fashion again

⤷ yourusername damn okay geez

username i love how he stayed with the topic for that long y/n you okay

⤷ yourusername peachy.

username notice how the three of them has blonde hair (except for angie)

username he is so hot

username why are they fighting here?

⤷ georgerussell63 forgot to not to switch accounts for bantering i guess...

gina_schumacher 😐😐😐

⤷ yourusername should i or mick who say sorry

⤷ gina_schumacher both.

username since when is he looks so cool?

⤷ username since that time y/n used lewis's help for fashion

⤷ username damn i know it can change him to be like this instantly😔😔

username oh i didn't know like they've got angie's sibling here

⤷ username so do i, until today tho

⤷ username they're a dog parents

⤷ username but tessa is so cute, and both of the dogs are female

⤷ username it's their personal pet, so both tessa and angie are not owned by together

yourusername

liked by estebanocon, florencepugh, mickschumacher, and 620,113 others

yourusername better not to awake the sleeping man

this comment has been disabled

mickschumacher added to their story!

caption: my prettiest angel 🫀💗😚

yourusername added to their story!

caption: pretty pretty man. so grateful that i am yours<3

₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆｡✦˚‎

estebanocon replying to yourusername story!

estebanocon: i think i've had enough with you guys thinking that this whole instagram is yours

yourusername: 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

yourusername: just admit it, you will do it too with your girlfriend next time. consider it as a revenge

yourusername: but i'll do it better tho😄

estebanocon: that's not helping y/n

₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆｡✦˚‎

mickschumacher added to their story!

caption: forever my passenger princess

estebanocon

liked by pierregasly, mickschumacher, alpinef1team, and 610,709 others

estebanocon they just appeared at the farm

view all 51,610 comments...

yourusername i didn't know that you were capturing us??????????

⤷ username girl admit it you know

mickschumacher idk about that but you looked like you know

⤷ yourusername i swear i thought he's making a vlog for himself

⤷ mickschumacher that's quite of a bullshit

⤷ yourusername you fucker

pierregasly i wasn't there but i can sense a lie...

alpinef1team she looked at the camera tho...🫢

⤷ yourusername alpine admin you're playing on a very thin ice rn

estebanocon i'm just providing the evidence

⤷ username ESTEBAN BEING NEUTRAL IS MY MOOD AS IF FOR RN

username omg the banter😭😭😭😭

username the way alpine admin just hopping up is so💀💀💀

username but i kinda believe y/n though idk

yourusername listen up i'm not really realizing abt the camera okay, i just see it but not posing

⤷ charlottesiine you're literally just posing

⤷ yourusername shut up

mickschumacher added to their story!

caption: wish me luck guys

₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆｡✦˚‎

yourusername replying to mickschumacher's story!

yourusername: you son of a gun

yourusername: lucky that you're my boyfriend

yourusername: and whose dog is that?

₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆｡✦˚‎

[rhey-007]

The Mystery of Love

Fernando Alonso family fluff

|| P6 of Fernando Alonso x goth mommy!reader

• | social media au

Summary: You and your family spend your first Christmas with new daddy.

Warnings/Tags: fluff, family fluff, female reader, Christmas

A/N: Enjoy another part of The Mystery of Love and another Christmas fic! 🥰🎄

If you'd like to be added to the tag list let me know! ☺

Masterlist

✧༺🎄༻✧

TWITTER

USER

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS AND THE PARTY PHOTOS???? THEY LOOK SO GOOD TOGETHER KZGSKDBHDHEHBDHXNF

•user1: when will they finally announce they're together????

→ •user2: hopefully soon or I'm gonna blow up

•user3: they are made for each other 😭🫠

•user4: I love how Nando's style has changed since he met Y/N, maybe you can't see it here cause he's wearing a plain suit ofc but overall if you look at the newest and older photos there is a BIG difference

→ •user5: right??? I've noticed it too!

→ •user6: he looks so hot 🥵

→ •user5: *they look so hot

•user7: the caption 😂

→ •user8: funny and true xD

INSTAGRAM

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, f1, astonmartinf1 and 12,567 others

tagged: fernandoalo_oficial, f1, astonmartinf1

•y/n._.l/n: relax time after the F1 Christmas party 🥰🎄

•aussiegrit: it was a pleasure to finally meet you! Fernando is so lucky! 😍

→ •y/n._.l/n: it was a great pleasure to meet you too Markie!!! 💞

•astonmartinf1: thank you for your appearance :)) you two rocked the carpet! 😎

→ •y/n._.l/n: aww thank you 🥰🤭

→ •fernandoalo_oficial: of course we did 💁‍♀️💅

•susie_wolff: you looked gorgeous! 🤩

→ •y/n._.l/n: you did too dear! 😘💞

•user9: mother and father have SLAYED, they deserve the relax

→ •user10: they always slay 👑

INSTAGRAM

INSTAGRAM

liked by aussiegrit, susie_wolff and 34, 890 others

tagged: fernandoalo_oficial, kl.au_s

•y/n._.l/n: Santa Claus is here! 🥰

•aussiegrit: where his elf at? 🤨🧐

→ •fernandoalo_oficial: Klaus said it's embarrassing :((

→ •aussiegrit: then you could've called me! :0 >:(

→ •user11: imagine grumpy Klaus dressed as an elf xD

→ •user12: and Benny as a reindeer! 🦌

→ •user13: that would've looked so cute! :((

→ •user14: petition for •y/n._.l/n to put Benny in a reindeer costume!

•sebastianvettel: I hope our presents arrived! 🤓🎄🎉

→ •fernandoalo_oficial: of course they did! Benny loves his bee onesie! How did you liked ours?

→ •sebastianvettel: amazing as always! 😝😁💖

•user15: the pic we needed but don't deserve 😩

→ •user16: didn't thought Santa could be so hot 🥵

INSTAGRAM

liked by y/n._.l/n, kl.au_s and 563,234 others

tagged: y/n._.l/n, kl.au_s

•fernandoalo_oficial: two great guys and their beautiful mommy = my whole world 🥰😘💞

•user17: IS THIS THE OFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT???

•user18: STOP WITH THE SOFT/HARD LAUNCHING AND ANNOUNCE IT ALREADY❗❗❗

•lance_stroll: Merry Christmas for the fam! 🥳🥰🎄

→ •y/n._.l/n: thank you honey! Merry Christmas for your too! 😘

•jensonbutton: Man! You are sooo lucky! 😎😝

→ •fernandoalo_oficial: of course I am! 💪

•user19: I want them to adopt me so much 😭😩

→ •logansargeant: me too 😢

→ •y/n._.l/n: you already are pookie 😇🥰

→ •logansargeant: 🤩😍💞

→ •user20: mother is mothering once again 💃💅

→ •user20.1: soon she's gonna adopt the whole grid xD

→ •user20: didn't she already tho? 🤔

INSTAGRAM

liked by astonmartinf1, fernandoalo_oficial, kl.au_s and 156,356 others

tagged: fernandoalo_oficial, kl.au_s

•y/n._.l/n: the 3 most important man in my life dressed so nicely 😍 (for once...)

•user21: AAAAA THAT NANDO PIC JSDGENHFRJHR

→ •user22: live laugh love nando pics take by Y/N 🥵💖

→ •user23: she defo takes best photos of him!

•maxverstappen: Fernando finally looking like the gentleman he is! (Only to Y/N and kids but still 😂)

→ •fernandoalo_oficial: thanks mate! (Not true)

→ •maxverstappen: no problem! (True true)

•susie_wolff: boys looking exceptionally good! 😍

→ •fernandoalo_oficial: of course we do 😚🤭

→ •y/n._.l/n: at least once a year 🙄 ekhem •kl.au_s ekhem

→ •kl.au_s: ey! It's not true >:(

INSTAGRAM

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, sebastianvettel and 237,956 others

tagged: kl.au_s, fernandoalo_oficial

•y/n._.l/n: Merry Christmas everybody! 🌟🎄🥟

•lilyzneimer: ahh! Beautiful photos! Mami is a professional photographer 😍

→ •y/n._.l/n: thanks baby! 💖

•lilymhe: it looks so cozy and warm... wish we could join you 😢

→ •y/n._.l/n: you're always welcome!

→ •user24: sooner or later all the drivers will come to Fernando's villa or Y/N's mansion and just start living there being a silly little family 😂

→ •user25: that would've been so cute omg 🥺💖

•fernandoalo_oficial: amazing time always spent in your company! 🥰🥵

→ •user26: 👁👄👁 Fernando... What. Is. That. Emoji...

→ •lance_stroll: sorry for grandpa, his finger slipped

→ •fernandoalo_oficial: ey! I told you not to call me grandpa! >:(

→ •lance_stroll: sorry pops 🤭💚

→ •user27: Lance calling Fernando grandpa will never not be funny 😂

INSTAGRAM

liked by kl.au_s, fernandoalo_oficial and 29i, 267 others

tagged: kl.au_s, fernandoalo_oficial

•y/n._.l/n: meine Jungs 🥰🤩 (my boys)

•user28: I love how Klaus is finally at peace with Fernando!

→ •user29: I wonder what happened 🤔

→ •user30: I bet Nando bought him something expensive lol

→ •user29: and I just think he grew up and realized Fernando is the best man for his mom 😇

•user31: AAAAAH LITTLE BENNY AND NANDO PLAYING HOCKEY NSBYXJWNFJR I can't 😭💞

→ •user32: we need an hour long video of them playing or just skating 😭🤚

•user33: love how Klaus fell asleep on Fernando

•user34: OMG FERNANDO AND BENNY HUGGING 🥲🥰😍

•kellypiquet: so cute! 🤩 Penelope would love to learn skating but Max can't either and I'm busy 😥

→ •y/n._.l/n: we can take them with us next time! It's not a problem! ☺

→ •user35: smdhuendbdjzy future content 🤩

→ •user36: I want to see Nando try learning Max how to ice skate and Verstappen constantly falling XD comedy gold 👌

✧༺🎄༻✧

Tag list: @morgan-getty @lichterfee @ashy-kit

[riordanness]

okay so every single (okay some) pjo character and their opinion on taylor swift bc that’s all i think about:

percy jackson: isn’t the biggest swiftie in the world but adores her music if it’s on. he owns at least two copies of the 1989 cd and his fav song to blast while skateboarding is welcome to new york ofc.

annabeth chase: absolutely loves taylor, probably really resonated with her lyrics and storytelling style tbh. her favourite albums are definitely 1989 (the beach-y california vibe yk), lover, and midnights and folklore and evermore and fearless and reputation and speak now. (what can i say—she’s a swiftie)

grover underwood: he’s a music guy. ofc he likes taylor swift. probably only knows like four songs total, and they’re all from like debut and fearless but hey. that’s something.

piper mclean: you can’t tell me she doesn’t ADORE reputation. and probably fearless too actually. definitely has some kind of merch (a signed cd??) in her room back home.

hazel levesque: obviously didn’t know anything about her but once introduced, loves folklore and evermore and the tortured poets department. soft and soothing songs are defo her thing.

leo valdez: old mate probably listens to all too well every day tbh. he doesn’t love her and definitely isn’t a swiftie, but red (especially the vault tracks and the songs written for hunger games) are always welcome.

jason grace: my boy knows nothing. nothing. but you bet he finds out about her eventually and doesn’t really have an opinion either way. he neither hates or loves or dislikes or likes. it’s just music to him.

frank zhang: probably likes debut. but probably also never really thought about her or knew much about her music bc of his grandmother and stuff yk.

nico di angelo: to anyone’s face: absolutely not. but secretly? oh yeah. he would totally listen to folklore and shit are you kidding me?? he’s such a swiftie.

reyna avila ramirez-arellano: yes and no. a couple songs in her playlist but not like. that much. she doesn’t really mind her and doesn’t really love her either.

luke castellan: he’s lowkey a hater. probably listens to kanye just to spite swifties and writes those hate comments on all her fanpages and shit yk.

thalia grace: she likes about half of the reputation songs and a couple of ttpd too. (especially look what you made me do). but she’s more into older music like green day (iykyk hehe)

silena beauregard: UH. YES. lover girl in the flesh. she is totally the camp’s biggest swiftie and is the one who got annabeth into her. she’d defo have merch and posters and have memorised everything.

clarisse la rue: silena made her do it. that’s what she’d tell you,and it’s true!! but she has a secret soft spot for a good taylor swift song.

chris rodriguez: knows about her through clarisse, doesn’t really give a damn about her.

charles beckendorf: BIGGEST SWIFTIE EVER headcanon okok. owns merch. posters. go to her tours. the whole shibing shabong iykyk

apollo/lester papadopoulos: duh. he’s the god of music bro. i think he would appreciate the literal music industry herself

meg mccaffery: no way. she’s a professional hater for the pure fun of it, has probably never heard a single song other than shake it off, and comments ‘kanye better’ on all her fan accounts

carter kane: tbh he would appreciate her lyricism a lot, but doesn’t strike me as someone who listens to that much music in general?? also he wouldn’t really know a lot of normal pop culture stuff necessarily, so…

sadie kane: she likes her. she likes everything. she’s a pop girlie fs, so reputation/midnights are her BANGER albums. she would definitely have some taylor swift on her ipod playlist, but she’d be more into avril lavigne, lady gaga, olivia rodrigo and stuff like that.

zia rashid: who’s taylor swift?

magnus chase: the only canon swiftie magnus you have my heart. he’s also a basic white girl, thank you very much. he literally (IN CANON BTW) recognises ‘blank space’ and ‘i know places’ and identifies them as taylor swift. so. yeah. he’s a swiftie fs

coach hedge: lol nope. he’d have the worst music taste of all time. NEVER give him the aux

sally jackson: she would LOVEEE evermore and speak now and debut, fight me. she’s also just the perfect person ever so ofc she loves taylor swift

paul blofis: would defo vibe to it imo, but would never put any songs in his playlist tho cause he’s boring ok maybe he would for sally’s sake. and estelle’s

[fall0utmind]

'make it right or fuck off and don't come back'

Damn Alex actually giving Valentino a chance to make it right? (Does he realise he said that?)

Pecco's not going to talk to him for a while isn't he.

And the Vale's whole realisation of holy fuck what did I do is soooooooo good I love the way you wrote it. His brain is working overtime trying to differ between his delusions and reality.

And protective Jorge? We all love protective Jorge 😻

I hope you feel better soon and thank you for this new chapter ❤️‍🩹

I wrote out a whole answer to this and it deleted. Not happy.

Okay, so unpopular opinion (maybe), but Alex defo knows how in love marc is with Vale, and honestly, he just wants his brother to be happy.

He also is much smarter than Marc when it comes to Valentino and feelings, so he certainly knows that Vale talks too much about marc to not still be utterly obsessed. Alex thinks there's still something, maybe not love, but definitely not nothing, and although Vale hates marc, it's not true hate. So if Valentino could just sort his shit out for half a second maybe they could be happy? Also he's definitely conferring with Luca. Hence, giving Valentino the chance to sort his shit.

BUT it's defo not gonna be easy. Marc has a whole bunch of overprotective idiots around him now, and they won't let Vale get away with half ass apologies.

Also, yes, Pecco will not be talking to Vale. He's unofficially adopted Marc as his brother and Valentino is being an absolute dumbass and frankly, he isn't paid enough for this. Luca, though, feels like he has to intervene a bit.

Valentino is king of repressing his feelings until he's having a crisis because there's too many to keep a lid on it now. That's actually canon I swear. My man needs THERAPY!!! Thank you though, I'm so glad you liked it!!

Protective Jorge ftw. Extra fun cause irl I don't think him and marc have much of a relationship, but in rpf, it's like Dani loves marc, and Jorge loves dani. And really, marc was such a baby (just young) when they all met him, so extra protectiveness.

Feeling wayyy better today, so that's positive! Hopefully, there will be more chapters in the coming days. Weekends are always easier.

[avroravia]

hihi!! Is it okay if you do a metalhead! reader × the gang hc's? TYSM 🫶🏻

𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔞𝔩.

𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔬𝔲𝔱𝔰𝔦𝔡𝔢𝔯𝔰 (𝔰𝔢𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢) 𝔵 𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔞𝔩𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔡!𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔯.

𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔱𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔰. 𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔞𝔩𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔡!𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔯.

𝔡. 𝔴𝔦𝔫𝔰𝔱𝔬𝔫.

first off, he thinks you're so cool the moment he meets you. i mean, what's not to like? you have a really unique style, you're [probably] a greaser like him, and you aren't afraid of being true to yourself.

if you do play any instruments, he's always listening to you playing, and if you're in a band, he's completely whipped. i mean, he's going to every show you do, and he's probably good friends with your bandmates. beware, however, because he's probably going to beg you to perform at buck's place. what can i say? he loves to show you off.

also, just a cute little thing, but dallas would definitely give you that one skull ring he has. if it's too big on you, he'd loop it onto a chain and give you that instead.

you both constantly share clothes. there're a few similarities between greaser and metalhead style, like the leather jackets. and he's quick to give you a few dollars to buy a new vinyl or something for your style if you need it.

he's definitely taking sneaking you to a concert of your favorites. he doesn't know a lot of the songs, but he still thinks it's really fun to go.

he is actually so in love with you it's hilarious.

𝔧. 𝔠𝔞𝔡𝔢.

just like his best friend, johnny think's metalheads are really cool to be around. since you're most likely a greaser, you guys have known each other for a while, and nobody was really surprised when you two got into a relationship.

if you play any instruments, his idea of a hangout is him sitting on your bed smoking while you practice or you're showing him the basics of how to play.

if you play in a band, he'll come to your practices all the time. he probably isn't super close with your bandmates, but he gets on with them just fine. and if you're playing any gigs, johnny's always front row watching. and also mumbling the words under his breath.

johnny loves you so much, and he thinks you're so cool.

𝔱. 𝔰𝔥𝔢𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔡

tim's definitely a metal type of guy himself. his style's probably simpler than yours, but it's still in the same range. i personally hc that he plays the guitar, and it's a whole other possibility that the two of you play in the same band.

if you don't follow that hc, totally cool! if you are in a band, he's always showing up to practices and gigs. he's more of a silent watcher, and he'll show up to support, but he's not a front row kind of guy. just watching from either backstage or from the back of wherever you're performing.

angela and curly think you're so cool, and they can't believe tim pulled someone like you. angela's always showing up to your gigs, as long as they aren't at places tim doesn't let her show up to. curly and angela definitely memorized a lot of your songs, and they show up to whatever, whenever they can.

if you ever wear any of tim's clothes on stage, he's pretty much on his knees. it's his idea of you showing him off, and he's totally for the idea of it.

tim's head over heels, and he'd be lying if he said anything otherwise.

𝔡. 𝔠𝔲𝔯𝔱𝔦𝔰.

darry's type, before meeting you, was mostly preppy soc girls. but, when he met you for the first time, he totally got the hype, and he was whipped fast.

unlike his friends, darry's a more stable guy. he works two jobs, so it's rare he ever has the time to attend practices, but he does try and show up for your gigs as much as possible.

ponyboy doesn't hang around you much, but you and sodapop get along great. he's essentially a little brother to you, and you're both besties. sodapop always comes to your gigs whenever he can, and darry's super happy about it.

he defo loves you, even if he doesn't express it much <3.

[bau-drabbles]

clingy hotch would be goals 🥺 like if he’s having a nightmare he can’t let go because he thinks you’re just a figment of his imagination. a dream he doesn’t want to wake up from 🥺❤

yess 🥺🥺 i'm so sorry, i defo misinterpreted this, i saw nightmare and just kinda wrote whatever :") <3

it was just past 2am, he woke up in cold sweats. gasps flying out of his mouth, his hands bundled in his bed sheets, perspiration glistening on his skin. it was just a bad dream, he tried to calm himself down but it doesn't work like usual. no, he needs something. someone

but in his frenzied state, he doesn't feel you beside him and the familiar lump crawls to his throat. he couldn't have been imagining all those sweet memories, had you left like haley did too? did someone take you?? every horrible situation his mind could possibly conjure up runs through his head and he has no choice but to let each one play out.

before he could hoarsely call out your name, you turned in your sleep. relief floods in his veins and he practically dives closer to you. the tears were falling freely, like a barricade had broken inside of him.

"y/n, my y/n-" he snuggles into your neck, trying to calm his racing heart. usually he would never disrupt you but tonight he's not himself. his mind was cruel, unsure of what was real and what isn't. everything was unravelling and he begins to feel himself become undone along with it. but all he knew, with surety lodged deep in his heart, was that you were his anchor in this turbulent sea

you awoke in slight shock, half expecting to see jack needing some comfort after a bad dream. you don't expect to see hotch wrapped so tightly. it's not like him to be so terrified, to be so vulnerable and you worry for a second if something terrible had happen. but you take a breath, holding him as close as you can. it had to have been a nightmare, you deduce. his phone was charging on the other side and there was no one around

"bad dream?" you mumble into his hair, gently stroking his face. you feel his tears fall and it breaks your heart piece by piece

he nods into you and you give a kiss to his head, leaning a little back so you could see him clearly. he's like a little boy in your arms and you want to hold him so tight until nothing bad could ever hurt him again

you didn't know the true extent of his pain but you knew it completely had destroyed him.

"i-i'm sorry, i-" he wipes his eyes with the back of hand, cursing at himself to have it together. these dreams never usually affected him this much and he was always good at having his feelings under control but tonight it was brutal. he could feel your lifeless body, how his throat was raw screaming your name over and over, the tears that burned and blurred his vision, the crushing weight of losing you like everything good in his life had to come to an abrupt end.

you hold his sweet face between your hands, pressing your lips to his forehead for a tender kiss. the pads of your thumbs sweep the apples of his cheeks, a reassuring a smile pulled on your lips

"go to sleep, baby. i'll be here. i'll always be here" you promise, laying the two of you back down on the bed again.

he doesn't have the energy to say a word, his silence is all the words you need. and he sleeps in your arms, the exhaustion taking him and you hold him close. running your fingers in his hair, his heartbeat a steady reminder that he was well and truly okay.

while he fights the demons during the day, you do your part and keep them well away at night

[reashot]

The continuation of the battle for the Arc's Booty/How Jaune managed to sexually satisfy two girls that held him hostage. Trafficknight version. (NSFW)

Bewarned, horny inside

The last time we saw our three "heroes" they were seen carrying Jaune away from the two monochrome sisters. To do something unspeakable to him.

Jaune: Ruby, Jess you don't have to do this!

*plop Jaune down on a soft white bed*

Ruby: Gu, he, he, he. *drooling uncontrollably* 😋

Oh Jaune, you know that I'm gonna do something really good to you.

Jaune: *gulp*

Jess: Excuse me Ruby. WE are about to do something to him.

Ruby: Oh, of course. I'm sorry Jess. We are so gonna 'effed you up. 🤬

Jaune: *whimpering*

Ruby: *giggle* Do you want to know what we will do to you? 😌

Jaune: *shakes head*

Ruby: C'mon Jaune don't you at least a little bit curious? 🥺

Jaune: *shakes head*

Ruby: Too bad! We're gonna tell you anyway.

First we will kiss you. Tenderly at first of course. 😚

Jaune: *gasp*

Jess: Then we start being rougher and leaves trails of love marks across your neck.

Afterward we will slowly take off your clothes.

Saving your underpants for last.

Jaune: (Oh no.)

Ruby: Then we will slowly take it off. Then we will rub your most important part. 😏

Jess: And then we will take turns licking it...

Jaune: *scared*

Ruby: But we will make sure to only edge you... 😊

Jess: So you can never achieve completion...

Jaune: *frustrated*

Ruby: And when you can no longer stand being teased... 😉

Jess: We will take turn riding you. Over and over again...

Jaune: *scaroused*

Jess: We will make sure to take our time very, very slow pacing ourselves. All while denying you your release.

Ruby: And when you finally can't stand it any longer we will force you to come inside of us so we can have your baby... 👶

Jaune: *internal screaming*

W-wa-wait, wait, wait. We can't do that we need to use a condom!

I mean you two at least have some protection right?

Ruby & Jess:

Jaune: Oh sweet brothers...

And true to their words Ruby and Jessica did everything what they told Jaune earlier.

They begin by kissing him. At first Jaune tried to resist but after a while he soon relented to both Ruby and Jessica intense kisses. Even returning it to the delight of the two girls.

But kissing Jaune's lips weren't enough for them. They soon move to his neck and started removing his shirt while at the same time leaving trails of kisses on his exposed body.

Jaune unintentionally starts moaning in pleasure from the kisses he receives. This elicit a giggle from Ruby and Jessica. But only for a moment. Until they return to kissing and teasing Jaune. Bit by bit all of Jaune's clothes is then slowly removed until finally they reached the final piece...

Jaune: *labored breathing*

Ruby: This is it Jess... You ready? 😜

Jess: Huh? Y-yeah I'm ready.

Ruby: Okay. Here goes... *pulls down Jaune's underwear* 😁

Ruby & Jess: *stares in amazement* 😳

Ruby: Wow... 😶

Jess: Big...

Jaune: Shut up, all right! I know it's big. I have a complex about it. *pout*

Ruby: It's nothing to be ashamed of Jaune. 🤤

Jess: Yeah some chollos would kill to have that big pēne. (And I would defo kill to have yours in me. )

Jaune: Well I don't want it. I just wish it was smaller.

*smack*

Jaune: Oww! What the Salem?

Ruby: No more talking! It's time for entering! 😤

Jaune: Please don't. Ruby it will never fit!

Ruby: When there's a hole there's a way! 😠

Jess: I wish you luck Ruby.

Ruby: Thanks Jess... Well, here I go. 😣

Jaune: NOOOOO!!!....

A few moments later...

Ruby: ..... It didn't fit. 🙁

Jaune: I told you Ruby. I was too big.

Jess: Well now what do we do. We're too worked up to stop now.

Jaune: I think I can help you with that...

Jess: Really, how?

Jaune: Well if I can't use my "lower equipment" I can use my upper one... If you know what I mean.

Ruby: Well what are you waiting for! Ravish me right now.

A few hours of very satisfying oral session later...

Jess: Dios mio...

Ruby:

Back to the sisters.

Weiss: Slut!

*thrust*

Bleiss: Prude!

*clang*

Weiss: Slattern!

*parry*

Bleiss: Tight...

Wait. I sense a disturbance in the force it as if someone managed to achieved mind blowing multiple orgasm and I'm sensing that someone that gives it is Jaune...

Weiss: Wait. Where is Jaune?

Bleiss: It seems we have a problem...

Truce?

Weiss: Agreed, we need to find Jaune. Any thought on how to find him?

Bleiss: Hmmm let me check... My scroll.

*ping*

Found him.

Weiss: Wait. How did you know about Jaune's location?

Bleiss: Easy, I had him chipped long time ago.

Weiss: .... You are one crazy bitch you know that.

Bleiss: I will take it as a compliment.

Now c'mon sis we need to save our man.

Next morning...

Jess: *yawn* Last night was so great, Jaune. Do you want to do it again?

Ruby: .... No stop it!!! 😭

Instead of the sight of her lover sharing the same bed with her. Jessica is met with sight of Bleiss and Weiss riding Jaune from both end.

Weiss: OH BROTHERS!!! Yes JAUNE YES YOUR TONGUE FEELS SO GOOD!!!

Bleiss: AAHHHH!!! YOUR HUGE DICK FEELS SO GOOD INSIDE OF ME JAUNE!!!

GO AHEAD JAUNE COME INSIDE OF ME, KNOCKED ME UP!!! GIVE ME YOUR BABY!!!

Jaune: !!!!

Weiss & Bleiss: Ahhhh!!!.....

Weiss: That was amazing Jaune... It's my turn next, move over Bleiss.

Bleiss: Sure thing dear sister.

And Jaune if I got pregnant from this you will marry me , right?

After all you don't want Jaune junior to grow up without a father.

Jaune: *nodding*

*turns to Ruby & Jessica*

And I hope this teaches you two a lesson to never bet against black.

[bluewings55]

Lolirock

So I recently watched the entirety of Lolirock

And it was... Okayish

The story itself wasn't bad, but a lot of it feels very incomplete.

So let's break down a few points:

Story:

The story itself wasn't too bad. I liked a lot of the ideas. But since this is directed to a younger audience, a lot of story plot was very predictable sadly enough.

And it didn't bother me that much that Iris was in the centerstage most of the time. Unlike later season Bloom, the creators didn't make things that aren't related to Iris about Iris. There were a few moments yes, but I never thought "wait, why is it about Iris, it's not about her!" Unlike (sadly) with Bloom in Winx where she gets the Spotlight for no reason

Princesses:

I do really like the transformation and animations for the princesses. Although I do feel odd about Lyna and Carrisa having different animations and songs. They look good, but since they don't have a similar transformation like Iris, Thalia and Auriana, I feel like it just says that they aren't part of the group. Which is kinda true since they are absent for 75% of the time in season 2. (Fr, where are these two the entire time?)

And I get Iris is the main character and all, but the creators make Talia and Auriana look so useless and weak for most of the time. And then Talia is able to beat their asses on her own, yet struggled to do so five minutes before.

Also Talia is the best, defo my fave from all of them.

Like her transformation? Goregous

Also:

dark princess's

Omg, I love their design, I need more of them

Magic and Ephidia:

Similar to the story: it felt incomplete. Like things aren't being explained:

What's Ephidia? Is it a continent, is it the capital city? Who created it, what's so special about it?

What are the oracle gems exactly? Are they amplifiers or a key, WHAT ARE THEY? and why do they only show up in front of Iris? Is it cus she's the crown princess or why? Who knows: things aren't getting explained.

And how does the magic work? Is it just crystals? Can they use elemental powers as well? We see them use levitation and time spells as well soooooooooo?

And what about Dark magic? Do you have to be born from it, is it an emotion you redirect, how does if work?

And can we talk about Iris's different transformations? They look epic af but.... How? Can only she do it? What exactly is it? Like a different stage or is it a temporary a power up? Can other princesses do them as well or not?

And what exactly is Amaru? A dog, a pegasus? A shapeshifter animal? How does his magic work? Why can he summon a giant battlefield out of nowhere?

And what about the other magic kingdoms? We only saw a tiny bit of Xeris, but what about the others?

I wish they not only explained a little more about the magic, but also showed us more about the magical world. By doing that, it feels more alive, more

Villains:

Alright imma say it:

Gramorr is the most useless fucker there is

He's being portraited as this all mighty powerful wizard but then he just sits in the throne room doing God knows what, maybe looking at tarot cards with Banes who knows....

He doesn't do anything, just screams when an oracle gem gets to the crown, and yells at Praxina and Mephisto bc they are so 'useless'

Like dude.

If they are so terrible at their job and you are "oh so powerful":

DO IT YOURSELF?!?!

Also, stop blaming everything on the twins cus of your laziness!

Speaking of blaming

Praxina is the worst.

Her newest design is amazing tho.

She looks more threatening then Gramorr ever could

And the butterflies? Amazing, I'm really excited about how she's gonna act in season 3

But if there's a problem she immediately blames it on her brother, but as soon as there's something she can be proud of, she steals the credit, like, bitch stop being so toxic.

And stop blaming Mephisto for everything???

He's the one literally working with the enemy to save your ass TWICE and even almost died a few times (or just.. died after what happened) and what does he get? Not even a thank you. Girl, your bro almost died, wdym? You're siblings, he supports and helps you multiple times yet here you are scoffing, rolling your eyes and blaming him for every inconvenience happening in your life.

Don't give me the "that's how twins act" or "that's cus she's evil" bullcrap cus I got siblings myself, I know what it's like.

So yeah, I'm here in the Mephisto support group.

I also decided to adopt him.

He doesn't know that yet tho.

I'm personally not a fan of the comedian character, but I just feel really bad for him with all the crap he's going through: A shit boss and a shit sister.

Respect to him that Gramorr stab them in their backs AND THE TWINS WENT BACK TO THEIR BOSS TO SERVE HIM EVEN THO GRAMORR REPLACED THEM.

Also he's so sweet? If u can look past all the evil things he did, you realize that he's really sweet and not that evil and he really cares for his sister (even tho she's a bitch).

And the time he and Iris worked together and said that he would be honored to serve her if he was on her side?

Listen, if he's not on Team Lolirock and just dead in season 3 imma be so pissed.

[the-phantom-author]

Mark Fischbach | General Dating Headcanons

For that one nonny who requested it, I hope they're good. Much love ❤️

I feel as though he’d be big on spending time together. Anytime he gets to, when walking the dogs, cleaning together, one person sitting at the bar while to other makes food, shopping, if he’s writing he’ll try to be in the same room as you while you do whatever it is you need to do,

He prides himself on two things; 1.) His ability to always make you laugh. He thinks that it is highly amusing that you almost always laugh at his laugh, and how sometimes you both get trapped into a cycle of laughing even though the original thing wasn’t actually funny. 2.) How in touch with his emotions he is and how that helps with him empathizing with you. Like he’s very commutative when he feels that something is wrong or off in general.

I'm getting activity based events with Mark. Like he enjoys showing you the things that he likes to do and seeing you do the things that he likes. He also enjoys having you show him the things that you love to do! Any kind of art, or reading, or gardinging you mention, he;s going to learn all he can about it, so you can bet he’ll at least appreciate it, if not enjoy it.

Moving in with him!!!

Like he’d be so happy to help in any way he can, like he’s helping you move boxes, plants, and decor. A little after you officially move in, he’s wanting to sit down and talk about the general aesthetic of the house and if there is any furniture that you want to change or add or how to best implement the things that you brought with you from your old place.

Spending more time with the dogs! Chica and Henry, they are your dogs now, with how much they love you. Not only do they adore you, but you also get your own dog. It's a bit after moving in, once you're settled and everyone has adjusted to you being around as a permanent figure, Mark would surprise you with your own, I still think a samoyed dog. Like big, and fluffy, and hyper and super cuddly.

Who is super adorable and loves Mark, but is undeniably yours. Yes Mark helps train them, and goes on runs with them, and plays with them, Like they love each other, but that is your dog. That dog is obsessed with you and wants nothing to do with Mark when you’re around.

I think that if you were to both cook at the same time that it would be the biggest mess. Instead my suggestion is to have one person in the kitchen at a time and let the other person watch and talk to you. But also both of you practicing making the others favorite meals without telling and just surprising them.

He has a huge audience, which frightens the both of you more than a little bit, especially when the topic of being public is discussed. It is only after several discussions about how you both want to go about and handle the aftermath do you show up in a video.

Good news, Bad news. Good News! The people love you. Bad News! Mark is now going to forever tell you that he was right, and you were getting worked up over nothing.

A subtle PDA king. He loves holding your hand, or having an arm around your waist, a little forehead kiss. Nothing too big but enough to constantly remind you how much he loves you.

You would defo be included in his moves/youtube series. Being random background characters, some of them have lines some of them don’t, but you're always just in the background. But not only being involved in a physical sense,you are also Mark's go to person for Mark when it comes to ideas. He does use you as a sound board, but he does genuinely want our opinion. He’ll ask if plot points make sense, if you think certain shots are possbile, what you think of charcter designs. He’ll say that you’re his biggest supporter, which is true. Your also one of the main reasons that he’s able to do things like that in general.

[toomuchracket]

ohhh the filming/sex tape thing actually makes me go feral. made it starts with him taking sexy pics of her during sex or after (with his cum all over her, keeping consistent with the cumplay !) and then maybe one day girly brings up the idea of filming and he just. loses his mind.

someone else said he tells girlie about doing a sex video. 🙃

i think you're defo a polaroids during/after sex couple - instant gratification in getting to view them, no digital stuff that could get leaked, always lovely to look at! maybe one day, as a bit of foreplay, you're looking at the pics together while you grind on matty and he's kissing up your neck, and you offhandedly say something like "god, i wish that one was a gif lol, i'd love to just watch it over and over"; matty literally buries his face in your neck because he's so overcome, and says into your skin "i can't believe this keeps happening to me". and you've no fucking clue what he's on about, so he has to be like "i wanted to do anal with you for a while and then you bought the plug without knowing that, and now you're saying you wish there was a video-type thing of us fucking before i had the chance to bring up the fact that my dirtiest dream involves you and me and a bed and a camera". he freaks out a bit because you go silent, but when he looks at you he sees you smiling like "well, i'm not opposed to it. not at all" - matty's like "really? you're not just saying that?", and you're like "babe i just said i'd want it to watch afterwards too. but yeah i do like making all your dirty dreams come true, being good for you. and now i get to be all pretty on camera for you, too", and he kisses you like "you're my biggest dream come true. even before you agreed to do all the kinky shit with me. i love you. thank you" (never forget, he's a lover and a simp before anything else).

actually filming... you use a handheld video camera fully only designated for the bedroom, for a bit more security. matty lets you lead, but i think you first suggest it when it's something you know you'll look good doing as you make your man feel good - a bj, or riding, maybe - and you can't resist hamming it up a bit more for the camera (but more in a fun little tongue-in-cheek way, because you know it'll be good regardless). when it's done, and you watch it back... god, it's hot, watching how good you look getting him off, and then seeing him all fucked-out and horny looking up at you during the bit where you stole the camera. you're pretty much ready to go again as soon as you finish the video, i fear, and matty insists he returns the favour - quite frankly, the footage of him with his head between your legs might honestly be the sexiest thing you've ever seen. yeah, it's hot alright <3

[https-dollnini]

ᴢʙ1 ᴀꜱ ꜱᴀɴʀɪᴏ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ

Summary: My thoughts on what sanrio characters zb1 would be based off of their personality

Author Note: Was feeling a little silly and thought this was a good idea (I'm also a fat sanrio fan so this is very self indulgent)

ᴋɪᴍ ᴊɪᴡᴏᴏɴɢ ᴀꜱ ᴋᴜʀᴏᴍɪ

both of them look tough on the outside but are secretly sweet on the inside

defo people that pretend they listen to hard rock and then cry themselves to sleep with a ballad instead

the most misunderstood :(

but that means their also the ones to always include people and would rather die than make someone feel left out

i feel like the reason why i felt like jiwoong and kuromi matched the most in my head is because of how enigmatic and mysterious their personalities are made out to be

but trust that my man is a true softie at heart

ᴢʜᴀɴɢ ʜᴀᴏ ᴀꜱ ᴍʏ ᴍᴇʟᴏᴅʏ

do you see how coquette this man is

this paring is literally why i made this whole post

defo see my melody as a kind and gentle person

with hao as mother, everything in my head just clicked

the most calm and collected out of all of zb1, but that's probably just because he's an introvert in a room full of extroverts

also think that they both have such a strong liking for cute and pink things

mans literally said his favorite colour is pink

this pairing can not be any more perfect than it already is

ꜱᴜɴɢ ʜᴀɴʙɪɴ ᴀꜱ ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋɪᴛᴛʏ

you can not convince me that hanbin isn't main character coded

this is his world and we're just living in it

both of them have so many friends its insane, and are defo more on the talkative side

also feel like both of them are very dramatic

like have you seen this man every single time something mildly suprising happens

hes shocked to the core, on the floor, disgusted, making the weirdest facial expressions known to man

ALSO LOOK AT HOW CUTE BOTH OF THEM ARE

i rest my case

ꜱᴇᴏᴋ ᴍᴀᴛᴛʜᴇᴡ ᴀꜱ ᴘᴏᴍᴘᴏᴍᴘᴜʀɪɴ

the embodiment of a puppy

both of them are very playful and energetic in the cutest way possible

like have you seen this mans natural aegyo

they also spread positivity absolutely everywhere they go

like its oozing out of them

i refuse to believe that matthew has ever cried because when you have a smile like that why would you ever do anything other than show it off????

can you tell i like his smile...

ᴋɪᴍ ᴛᴀᴇʀᴀᴇ ᴀꜱ ᴘᴇᴋᴋʟᴇ

i was seriously debating between whether putting him or yujin as cinnamoroll bcs in my head yujin kinda fit pochacco too

BUT then i remembered that pekkle. is. a. duck!?!?!?

that literally solved all my internal conflict

LOOK AT THEMMMMMMMM

both soft hearted to the core

also a little sassy but i think we expected that

i did a little research and apparently pekkle is really good at singing and dancing

literally so many similarities

matching them together is a canon moment in my life

ꜱʜᴇɴ Qᴜᴀɴʀᴜɪ ᴀꜱ ᴄʜᴏᴄᴏᴄᴀᴛ

honestly this is less about personality and more about appearance

chococat being a black cat is so perfect that i had absolutely no choice but to give it to ricky

AND YOU SEE THAT STRAWBERRY PHONE CASE IN THE PICTURE?!?!?

as a strawberry enthusiast i think that ricky would approve

moving on, i think he's a playful and funny character

defo looks cold at first but once you warm up to him you see how he pays attention to the little details

lovelicky fr

ᴋɪᴍ ɢʏᴜᴠɪɴ ᴀꜱ ᴋᴇʀᴏᴘᴘɪ

look at this man and tell me he's not keroppi coded

sososososo cheerful and bright

he's literally one of he main mood makers of the group

also very mischievous too

i mean look at him teasing ricky every 3 seconds or annoying yujin with his love

and maybe this is the inner delulu speaking but i also think he actually looks like keroppi?!?!?

someone pls agree with me or ill cry no i really will

ᴘᴀʀᴋ ɢᴜɴᴡᴏᴏᴋ ᴀꜱ ᴛᴜxᴇᴅᴏ ꜱᴀᴍ

ik this is kind of a weird one

but you need to understand the vision

i feel like theyre both HUGE nerds (in the best way possible)

like you know how gunwook always sprouts random facts, or goes into a rant about information that no normal person would know???

yeah. thats what i mean.

i also feel like they're both really laid back people that love to enjoy the moment they're in to the fullest

i will continue pushing this agenda until everyone is brainwashed to agree with me

ʜᴀɴ ʏᴜᴊɪɴ ᴀꜱ ᴄɪɴɴᴀᴍᴏʀᴏʟʟ

we all saw this coming

so baby

thats all i have to say

literally just shy little cuties trying to make their way through life the best they can

once they warm up to you though...

they genuinely can't shut up

will say the weirdest things at the weirdest times for absolutely no reason

but they get a free pass because LOOK AT THEM OML IM GONNA DIE

the way i can see yujin using the excuse "i'm just a boy"

he is, just a shy, cute, menace of a kid

[confusedspaceotter]

TUA seaon 4 recap because fuck Netflix

Hi if you are reading this welcome to I hate Steve Blackman/Netflix but I still wanna know what happened in The Umbrella Academy season 4 club, couple things I should probably warn you before we begin

spoilers ahead(just in case you didn’t read the title this IS the pissing on the poor website

I will be very angry and biased because Netflix took the wife and kids i will hate this guy forever I’m really good at remembering a grudge(no hate to the cast tho they did their very best and defo deserve more

In this recap I will go over the main plots of season 4 with a brief mention of the side plots, do beware some of the plot/shit characters did makes absolutely no sense but hey I'm just the messenger please be mad at Netflop for that

Season 4 Episode 1, The Unbearable Tragedy of Getting What You Want(aka us getting season 4 but only 6 episodes)

After loosing their powers when they came back to the main timeline last season, the brellies have lived the past 6 years somewhat peacefully, Luther is a stripper now, Diego and Lila is married with 3 kids, Allison is now a B list celebrity living with Claire, Klaus is sober and a germaphobe, Five is working for the CIA(bro is too busy working to cut his hair i hate it), Ben is a crypto scammer who just got out of prison, Viktor owns a bar and keeps getting dumped by girls(sure whatever)

The new big bad this season is a pair of wacky scientists named Gene and Jean, they are the leader of this cult called The Keepers who are trying to make “The Cleanse” happen, which is just a fancy name for the apocalypse.

Okay so basically this episode Vikor got kidnapped by random guy(I’m not even gonna mention his name he’s just here for plot so I don’t care about him) on his way to Diego and Lila’s kids birthday party, the siblings go and rescue him, random guy said hey actually i'm a big fan of yall if you can rescue my daughter Jennifer from a remote location I will be forever grateful, the group was like nah we are actually powerless now but Five was like wait we are doing this your welcome because he found a bottle of marigold(the thing that gives them their powers) in the belongs of the missing daughter, after this they went to dinner and Ben drugged everyone (except Klaus coz he didn't drink it) with the Marigold so now they are gonna get their powers back.

there's also this side plot where Lila and Five went undercover to investigate The keepers, Lila didn't tell Diego so he thought Lila was cheating on him with some guy whos actually just Five(buddy you are not gonna believe this in like 4 episodes this came true I hate it here)

Season 4 Episode 2, Jean and Gene(they were a cute couple but they will NEVER be Hazel and Cha Cha)

After they got their powers back they went to find random guy but he's missing, leaving a hint about New Grumpson, Maine so the siblings went there roadtrip style(their car also blasting baby shark non stop its not relevant to the plot i just think is funny), the siblings arrived to this small town, Ben was like you know what I’m done with yall bye, when he tries to leave he met Jennier in disguise, they have a chat, fall in love immediately(talk about speed dating am i right), the towns people learned that the siblings are here for Jennier so they pull the guns out and starts shooting,turns out they are all working for deadbeat dad of the century Reginbald Flopgreeves, so the siblings fight with their new and slightly improved superpowers(that apparently drained the vfx budget because the final big bad is ugly asf??? the same show that gives us Pogo?? whatever man)

Meanwhile Klaus was chilling in the car, a fake Jennifer who's pretending to be the real Jennifer asks Klaus for help, then shoots him before the siblings can stop her, Klaus told the siblings he doesn't want to get his powers back and dies, but Allison don’t take no for an answer and water board klaus with the marigold, Klaus came back from the dead, and then Jean and Gene crash into the siblings, kidnapping Jennier.

Back to the Lila Diego Five cheating side plot (ugh), during the roadtrip, Diego tells Five he thinks Lila is cheating on him, Five is like don't worry about it buddy it won’t happen for another 3 episodes (okay the last part was me but Five did tell Diego it’s probably nothing) and Lila overheads their conversation and thank Five for not exposing her GIRL JUST TELL YOUR HUSBAND STOP BEING SHADY *sigh*

Oh and Five keeps teleporting to this subway station that have trains going to different timelines but we never found out who the fuck build this so dont ask me idk either

Season 4 Episode 3, The Squid and the Girl (The plot and the holes because nothing makes any sense anymore)

We start with a flashback to young Jennifer being rescued from giant squid but WE NEVER GOT THE EXPLINATION GIRL WHY ARE YOU INSIDE THAT FUCKING SQUID so we are just gonna move on focus people we are half way though the season shit is about to go down(unfortunately)

After Jean and Gene kidnapped Jennifer, the siblings starting doing what they do best, arguing with each other, this is when Klaus give us the greatest summary of the show,

Klaus then leaves the group, Ben also was like nah fam im out for real and then leaves. The remaining siblings decided to split into two groups, Five Diego Lila went to The Keepers HQ to investigate, Viktor Luthor Allison went to find dear old dad Reggaeton Hargriefs. So Diego finds out that The Keepers have a document about Brellie!Ben’s death aka The Jennifer Incident.

Ben who’s getting tf out, discovers he got hand mouth foot disease with rgb red lights on his hand(see kids this is why you don't touch hands with girls before you get married) random guy pops out and was like bro did you find my daughter, Ben was like yeah I did and I also fall in love with her, random guy was like good good now use your squidar to find her so Ben did just that and rescue Jennifer from Jean and Gene.

For Viktor Luther Allison, they went to a giant mansion that their father owns, expecting to have to fight their way in, but the guards there are like, ah yes master Vikor please welcome in we have been waiting for you, turns out in this timeline Abigail, Rickroll Harkonnen’s wife was still alive and is the one who runs the house + her husband, so the kids were like ma’am your husband is a dick to us in another timeline can you tell him to shut up and help us, she agreed and he obeyed.Now the kids(Luther Allison Diego and Viktor) are putting on their thinking caps to restore their memory of The Jennifer Incident(because dead old dad erased their memory of it talk about childhood erasure)

*sigh* so the Five Diego Lila subplot, when Diego was investigating in the Keepers HQ, Five and Lila blink to the subway station, they got on a train and went to the original apocalypse but five was just like meh guess this wasn’t THAT traumatic pffff I only got stuck here for 40 years no biggie anyway time to get on the train and go home I guess, this shouldn’t affect me in any shape of form given that you know I’m so calm and collected when I first got here :))))))))) yes i'm being sarcastic NO ONE should be this calm and collected here okay.

Diego and Lila also talk things out, Lila apologizes and then says she wants to take a break from their marriage(sure lady whatever

no im NOT even gonna mention what Klaus has been up to, for me he went home to Claire bear and talk shit out with her end of story.

Season 4 Episode 4, The Cleanse (maybe why the Keepers what to make the cleanse happen so badly is because they saw ep 5 and be like nope go to hell yall)

We got a flashback to what happened with brellie!Ben, turns out he was murder by Regglodocus Hippocampus, our beloathed deadbeat dad of the century on a mission where the umbrella academy is securing a package(Jennifer in a box) but they touch hands so bro just straight up kills them both in front of the siblings(bro can we delete you from existence I hate this man with a passion)

The siblings are obviously pissed, AbiFail then explained that it's not her asshole husbands fault, years ago she created the marigold and unknowingly also created Durango, when these two particles touch hands, its gonna end the world for the billionth time(aka the cleanse), this also what happened to their homeworld, and it's gonna end earth if they don't separate Ben and Jennifer(because she got a shitton of durango in her).

Ridiculous Hepatitis then said we must go to kill one of them to stop the world from dying and Viktor is like NOT ON MY WATCH I WILL SAVE BEN and they have a little showdown, Vikor wins(duh) and they are like let's just check this crime scene Ben created last episode when he came to save Jennier okayyy.

The siblings got there + flop dad, Lila told Five hey what if we go back in time with the trains and stop the Jennifer incident from happening in the first place and five is like alright bet, but we cant tell Diego for plot reasons so Imma tell my CIA boss to take Luther and Diego to CIA HQ and babysit them( sis just tell him Diego might be a dumbass but he’s a dumbass that listens smh)

Anyway the siblings split into teams again, Viktor and Renaissance Harrypotter went to track Ben and Jennifer, Five and Lila got on the time train, Luther and Diego were at the CIA, Allison went to save Klaus from the TUA writers.

oh and Ben and Jennier fucks and it kills everyone within the radius lmao

Season 4 Episode 5, Six years, Five months, and two days ( just end my suffering rn)

We start with a montage of Five and Lila being stuck in train hell, unable to find the right train home so they are kinda just traveling from timelines to timelines, they decide to stop and stay in one of them with a strawberry farm(ew), and the most terrible thing ever fucking happend, apprently in these six years they caught feelings and they kissed fucking hell son of the bitch steve blakman I am in your fucking walls I fucking hate it here why can’t good thing last fuck off five would NEVER do this to his siblings this motherfucker spend 40 years and the entirety of season two trying to save his siblings why the fuck would he kiss his sister in law I hate it here

also #justicefordolores

BUT this isnt it

One day he went out for scraps and he found his old note book with the instructions on how to get home, he stashes it and only tell Lila about it 5 fucking months later

5 FUCKING MONTHS

I don't even know what to say let's just get over it okay

so yeah after this they call things off and just went home

Back to Vikor, he calls Ben with the help of dad and tells him hey buddy you have to stop the world and stop your feelings for Jennifer because you are gonna end the world if you stay with her, Ben refuses saying that he’s never been better(sure buddy) Ben and Jennifer plans to run away but Jennifer felt sick so they stop and went to a random mall to hide/ask for help.

Luther and Diego did absolutely nothing in CIA HQ and they realized they were being babysat so they dipped, oh and they also fought a bunch of people in the process which is cool I guess.

Season 4 Episode 6, End of the Beginning(thank fuck is over I’m freeee)

The Keepers are guarding the mall that Ben and Jennifer are in because they are stupid. Viktor and dad arrived at the scene, Viktor convinced dad to let him extract the durango out of Ben so he doesn’t have to kill him, dad said yeah sure whatever man, so Viktor sneaks in the building.

Meanwhile the rest of the siblings gathered at Lila and Diego’s house, Diego clock those cheating bitches immediately and Diego confronts Lila and she finally confesses but before he could beat the shit out of Five, they saw what's going on with Ben on the news and went to the mall.

Vikor got into the building, Ben is now a glowing clay human hybrid(ewwwww

Vikor tries to extract the durango out of Ben but he ran out of time, Dad’s sniper shoots Ben but before it hits, Jennifer and Ben touch hands for one last time and they transforms into ugly cgi clay monster big bad of the season(like wtf is this

the sibling starts fighting the Bennifer monster, Diego and Five didn’t get the memo so they fought each other instead.

So yeah we are fucked, AbiFail told Ratsass Hankercheif shes the one behind the keepers and she’s trying to right her wrongs by ending the world this way(selfish prick) and Reggie said alight that defo excuses every shitty thing you do man I got a really good wife and they both got sucked into the Bennifer monster(your redemption arc flopped btw I still hate you)

The siblings went back to the academy, thinking about what they can do to stop the Bennifer monster, Five went to the train station again, and discovers a deli run by other Fives, and one of the five told him babes, we are NEVER gonna succeed in stopping the apocalypse because the timeline is broken(it's only supposed to be one) and the existence of marigold is what shattered the timeline so we gotta gotta get sucked into the Bennifer monster and volia marigold + durango = kaboom(they will cancel each other out) BUT the siblings will cease to exist(coz their mum got exposed to marigold and birthed them so no marigold no siblings)

Lila and Allison decided to ship their children and family to the train station and send them on one of the trains to create a paradox I mean to protect them and the siblings got absorbed by the Bennifer monster, the timeline was fixed, none of us are happy, we ended up worse than we started.

The END.

hope yall are okay after reading this, no hate towards the cast whatsoever I 100% blame the writer and Netflix for this , fuck them and uh here’s a virtual hug to yall, peace out.