#he definitely has a dad bod and long hair it’s just the style I want to go for is hmmm

[cloudy-whales]

Been playing Epic Mickey Rebrushed a lot…..

[mellosdrawings]

The Princes

Ten years later. When marrying a Prince turns a Queen and a Servant into actual Royalties.

Because Vil deserves a real crown and Jamil deserves to be treated better.

NOW I'M GONNA RANT ABOUT MY CHARA DESIGNS CHOICES AND ALL THE DISCOVERIES I MADE WHILE LOOKING FOR REFS! If you only care about art and funny doodles, you can scroll down for a handful of slices of life.

(Don't worry if you can't read my notes, I'm repeating myself better right under this)

Leona

-Lion: As you may know, one of my grievances with Leona is how his hair doesn't look like an actual mane despite being a lion. While I don't want to stray too far from the canon design with the usual drawings, that's the occasion for me to have some fun with a future version. Give that lion a beard and voluminous hair!

-Hair: First, get those bangs out of his face. Despite Leona being very confident, he still has bangs covering his scarred eye. I wanted him to finally own the aspects of him that may be scary to others (his UM, his scar, etc). I actually went with bangs framing his face similar to the ones he had during his Overblot. I wasn't sure whether to give him dreadlocks or curly hair, but I ended up choosing the free curls decorated with some atebas and braids so that Vil could have more fun styling them.

-Eye: Thanks @aria-faye for the idea, I decided to have his eye gradually lose its capacities with time. From a headcanon that, while the eye wasn't directly touched by whatever attack scarred him, the process of healing still had an impact on it and he gradually lost sight in his left eye years after years.

-Body: Not giving him a dad bod (yet, maybe in another ten years), but definitely giving him more voluminous yet casual muscles. Practical muscles with a healthy dose of fat and tissues. Also giving him two full sleeves of tattoos because I decided he should have much more than just his lion tattoo.

-Clothes: Went full Maasai dressing and Kenyan fabrics and beadworks. If you're not familiar with it, please go check it out, it's GORGEOUS!! Crown is beadwork too. He also has one Arabic styled foot jewellery.

Jamil

-Hair: My first order was to remove his double-faced hairstyle and also remove his bangs from his eye. Make him confident enough to show his whole face. Unlike Leona and Vil, he doesn't really want a crown though (he still feels weird about becoming royalty) so instead he uses a braid as crown. Also gave him a little goatee because I like facial hair and Jafar has a beard too.

-Body: He grew up! While he didn't quite catch up with Leona and Vil, he is now closer to their sizes than before, sitting at around 180cm. He kept his breakdancer/martial artist lean muscles but developed a bit of shoulders.

-Clothes: Went full Arabic dressing and fabrics (once more, go check the fabrics, they are pieces of arts). I gave him floral motifs instead of his usual fire/snake motifs (though he does have a snake earring and a fangs necklace) to symbolise his rebirth/blooming. Like Leona, he has one piece of jewellery that is beadwork.

Vil

-Hair: Here it was a bit tricky. Considering Vil's work, he likely changes hairstyles a lot, going from long to short for his roles instead of his wants. So I leaned into the little things he could add to his hair despite their constant changes, mostly jewelleries, beadworks and wool decorations he stole from his husbands. He also cares a bit less about them looking perfect and is allowing himself to be more natural. He doesn't have any facial hair (yet), keeping a youthful appearance for as long as he can. In another ten years though, he might start looking more and more like his father, beard included.

-Clothes: For Leona and Jamil's mental states, the three of them most likely started living in Sunset Savanna so they wouldn't freeze to death. Vil is well traveled so he can handle most temperatures without trouble, and he is used to dressing up in the local get ups. Here I decided to give him both African dress and Arabic fabric, and likewise both beadwork and golden jewellery. I gave him crown and heart motifs so he can keep being himself despite borrowing a lot from his husbands.

There, I'm done rambling. Here's some doodles, followed by some random headcanons.

-Vil does his husbands hair every morning and keeps giving them more and more intricate hairstyles. He developed a whole haircare and beard-care products set for them.

-When Vil is away for a movie, Jamil keeps his hair mostly down save for a few accessories.

-Jamil and Falena get along surprisingly well (to Leona's despair). Vil gets along very well with Falena's wife.

-Jamil acts as a Scalding Sands ambassador and still is the one to care for Kalim when he comes to visit, though this time he's doing it because he wants to and not because he has to.

-Vil got used to his new title immediately but Jamil struggles with it a lot. He still has a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that he is no longer a servant.

-The servants at the palace love Jamil because he always makes their job easier.

-Leona finally decided to put his wits to good use and became Falena's advisor. He still fights a lot with Kifaji about the direction to take with the country, but he managed to make some of his ideas heard to help with the staggering inequalities in the country.

That's all for now!

[slashersimpwrites]

𝙨𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨 // 𝙝𝙪𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙪 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨

human!security breach cast x gn!reader

headcannons for the looks and jobs of them + headcannons for how they would be in a relationship!

tw: swearing, slight nsfw mentioned with burntrap and bonnie

/ glamrock freddy /

would definitely have a dad bod, with quite a bit of muscle hidden underneath

100% a poc, you cannot argue with me on this

honestly, he would dress however he wanted, he does not lock himself down to one certain style

tends to dress just slightly more masculine than feminine though

likes to wear face paint, or at the very least, eyeliner

dyes his hair often and it is very fluffy

the softest and kindest brown eyes ever, he does always look tired though

the prime example of a smart dumbass

founder and creator of his band, the glamrocks

constantly makes dad jokes

one of the sweetest people to exist

freddy with a s/o;

a gentle lover hands down

gives THE best hugs

LOVES to cuddle with his lover, does not care whether he is the little or big spoon

treats you like royalty: always checking on you, pampering you, making sure you know that he loves you

probably one of the healthiest relationships out of this list, along with sun

is also your best friend, that's just how great of a person he is

tries his hardest to make you laugh, especially when you are feeling down. he doesn't like seeing you sad :(

will drop anything and everything when you need him

does not get jealous of you when you hang out with other people, he knows you love him

would be the type of person to drive across the country just to give you a lil kiss kiss

all around, he is the sweetest person and would give you the world <3

/ glamrock bonnie /

i like the theory of bonnie being the aggressive one towards monty and that's why he got decommissioned, or just something along those lines

this kinda creates the basis for my personality for him

i see him as being one of the more aggressive ones out of them all

like he would take it upon himself to personally fight or call out anyone who was being an asshole at their shows

'oh you wanna put your hands where they shouldn't be? well get up here buddy and i'll show what i do to people like that.' stuff like that, y'aknow?

he was the bassist for the glamrocks until he left cause it didn't feel quite right and he wanted to go off and find himself

probably has super fluffy hair dyed purple

wears makeup, is not afraid to be in touch with his feminine side

dresses very punk, but like, bright colour/neon punk

smartass

bonnie with a s/o;

he can be a bit possessive, but it's not to a scary extent

like he'll let someone know your his if he notices them flirting with you (whether or not you look comfortable) through hands on you, a deathly stare, stuff like that

likes to go off and just do random things with you, like exploring and abandoned place, learning a random new thing, etc

he's an adrenaline junky

he is a bit more kinky than the others, mans has a big breeding kink no matter what's in your pants (he's a rabbit what do you expect)

he does try his best to take good care of you though, dw

he tries his best not to lash out and hurt you, and if he does, he will be apologizing for days and doing literally everything in his power to make it up to you

loves when you play with his hair, and loves playing with your hair

/ glamrock foxy /

drag queen? drag queen

used to do shows at harmonizing paradise's little drag area attached to the nightclub until they shut it down

now he's a backup keyboardist for the glamrocks

wasn't enough people there to cover the costs and bla bla bla

i see him as being quite a bit like julian from the arcana, with like the eyepatch and the fluffy slightly long red hair

though i see him as having more orange hair with blue streaks in it

he likes to dress a little bit on the 'elegantly medieval' side

has a pirate hyperfixation

cannot stress this ebough, THE KING OF DUMBASSERY

foxy with a s/o;

can be a little possessive like bonnie, but is more obsessive than anything

not yandere level though, dw

you'll be acting as an authority figure in this relationship, this man is a fckn mess, like i said, king of dumbassery

a very "messy" lover

like, he don't clean that much, showers just enough, very forgetful, etc

it's cute though, so you don't mind

completely melts around you, no doubt about it

likes quality time more than anything, he's fine with whatever, as long as he's with you

though he adores cuddling sessions

and likes movie dates at home where you kake fun if the characters

he's just a sweet chaotic boi

/ montgomery gator /

monty is 1000% a poc and i take no criticism, he is the king of rock and roll and black people invented it, so it's only fitting

he would have a floridian accent, or at the very least, a southern one

he would obviously have the iconic mohawk, but he would have amber eyes

he would dress pretty alternative

he would wear his iconic glasses, purple fingerless gloves, purple combat boots, and all his spiked jewelry

would have his fingernails painted black, they would have some chips

he would probably wear motorcycle pants, tripp pants, or a mixture of both with tank tops and cropped jackets

though we all know this man would try to be shirtless as much as possible

lots of freckles + faint scars

he would be the bassist for the glamrocks, but he became a new addition since bonnie left to find himself

he fit in very quickly though, some people grew to love him and some were resentful

definitely the most flirtatious and open of all them tho

monty with a s/o:

he was the one to come up to you and make the first move, we all know he wouldn't be the type of person to "keep it in his pants"

would prefer to take you on more simple dates like concerts, movies, amusement parks, etc. though, every so often he'll plan a weekend-long outing for you guys

he's tries his best to act all tough and bad-boy-ish around you, but a simple lil kiss on makes him melt

please give him forehead kisses!! he loves them!!

will not admit it, but he loves being the little spoon

this man just wants someone to love him and tell him he's perfect and more than a replacement :(

more than anything his love language would probably be words of affirmation, so be ready to get told how perfect you are <3

he would also definitely want to show you off because he's so proud of you and you mean so much to him <3

/ dj music man /

i also see djmm being poc, got no reason for this one other than vibes

he would wear sunglasses 24/7, but underneath probably has really pretty brown eyes

pretty flamboyant and likes to wear bright striking makeup and bright clothing

basically fits in with the rave scene real easily

wears very bright and very shiny clothing while working, probably an obnoxiously shiny suit (minus the jacket)

off of work he wears more comfortable stuff like a simple tank top or hoodie with some tattered jeans

would definitely have some facial piercings, probably a tattoo or a few hidden somewhere

despite his flamboyant dj persona, he's a pretty quiet person, preferring to drown the world out with music

main headlining dj for the harmonizing paradise nightclub (which just happens to be the main hangout spot for the glamrocks)

was one of the founders of said nightclub

djmm with a s/o:

alright, first thing's first: this man would be incredibly difficult to bag

i see him as being someone who is oblivious to romantic advances, so at first he just thinks you're being nice to be friends with him, but realizes when you just outright tell him you think he's hot

very wary in the beginning, worrying about if he'd just end up hurting you, but after telling him a few times about how much you trust and cherish him, he'll become more confident

his love language would be acts of service or gift giving, so expect errands to be randomly done, little gifts left for you, songs written for you, etc

he just wants you to know that he loves you, even if he can't be there all the time

expect lots nd lots of cuddles when he gets home from work, he really misses you and loves being in your presence

adores being the little spoon

will give you hugs nd kisses in public, he's not ashamed to let people know how much he loves you <3

/ sundrop /

this man would literally be the sweetest fucking person ever, you would get a toothache just from being in his presence

he would have short & messy natural blonde hair, maybe with a little bit of orange from sun exposure

he would have sun-kissed skin with a few faint freckles and very pale blue eyes that would look white from far away

he would probably have some acne scarring along his forehead and chin

he has the brightest smile, literally radiates sunshine

would prefer to wear softer and brighter colours

his clothing style would fall under yellow academia x softcore

would wear a few rings, no necklaces, and bracelets from the kids

would work in a daycare with moon, like they would work in the same room together

the two are definitely besties

the kids probably prefer sunny over moon and he feels bad about it, moon deserves love too!

was nicknamed 'mr. sunshine' by the children because of how bright his personality and clothing are

sunny with a s/o:

he would be such a sweet and caring partner

would always be checking up on you, either in person or over text, to make sure you're okay

sometimes it can be suffocating, but you know he means well <3

his love language would be physical touch, so expect lots nd lots of cuddling, hand holding, etc

would be very awkward in public and only exhibit a little pda; soft touches here, hand holding there, sitting close to you, etc

was definitely the one to make the first move, this man has a hard time holding things in (though you almost did it first)

his favourite things to do with you are watching movies, crafts, and exploring

he is definitely a chaotic dumbass please watch him

/ moondrop /

i feel like moon would also have skin like sunny, cause of the mask and how white the real moon is

he tends to look stern more often than not, but it's not cause he's mad! he just has a resting mad face :(

^ it's part of the reason the children are more scared of him than they are of sun

he would have heterochromia, his left eye being brown and his right eye being blue

like sun, he also has a bit of acne scarring around the edges of his face

he would keep his hair a little long, sharp, and styled. this plus his pretty pale complexion would kind make him look like a vampire :>

he is a very neat and tidy person

he would wear comfier clothing than sun, but it somehow ends up looking more formal

he'd do the whole sweater/sweater vest over button-up thing with some jeans and dress shoes

would wear tons of accessories, necklaces? yes. rings? yes. bracelets? absolutely!

he seems like someone that would need glasses idk

he works in the daycare with sun

the children nicknamed him 'mr. moonrise' cause he's the one in charge of nap time

moon with a s/o;

he would be a quiet but passionate lover

he wouldn't like pda, especially in front of the children, but he would be all over you when you guys were alone

he loves telling you how great you are and how much you light up his world

he kind of has ups and downs when it comes to his passion though, sometimes he's cold and distant at home too

it would just be because he's overwhelmed though, and he wouldn't want to get triggered by something small and lash out at you

be sure to stay away for the time being and just vibe with him, maybe read to him. he'll calm down within no time <3

in the case you do get on his nerves during this time, he van become a bit obsessive and possessive

he would be one to worry over your sleep, making sure you go to bed at a reasonable time, getting enough sleep, not sleeping in a way that is harmful to you, etc

speaking of which! if you ever show signs of insomnia or sleep apnea he will do as much as he can to help you! he would love to read you some stories and sing you some lullabies <3

please give him jawline kisses!!

/ burntrap /

this man is the coldest mother fucker to ever exist

now don't get me wrong, i am extremely down bad for him, but he can be a real asshole sometimes

he loves causing chaos, especially if it involves pranking his s/o or turning the glamrocks against eachother

in this au he is in his mid-late 30s, he is not a peepaw here

he would have lots nd lots of scars all over his body

shaggy and very messy dirty blond hair

white eyes that seem to have a purple hue in the sunlight

probably one of those bitches who wears the same thing every day. is it clean? does he only own the one outfit? when did he last shower? who knows.

probably wears a casually formal style -> loose button-ups, heavy boots, patterned trousers with some tattering, loose ties, loose vests, a few rings

works as security personnel for the glamrocks; sometimes they hate him, but he is the best they've had and keeps them quite safe

very reserved about his personal life

obviously has the iconic william accent, a little more gravelly though

burntrap with a s/o;

loves loves loves pranking you

his relationship with you would be much more sexual in nature than it would be with any of the other guys

gets very jealous when other guys, and sometimes even girls, look at you

makes sure to let everyone know you guys are together, be it a display on your neck, jewlery, or just him always being at his side

will sometimes sneak you in to shows to either have fun, or so you can see the glamrocks for free (score!)

can be very sweet at times of course, but it's only ever when you are alone with him, he has a façade to keep up

loves holding you and hugging you from behind

adores when you give his scars light kisses

overall, he can be a gentle lover, but he would rather have people not know that

[scuttling]

Long Time Coming

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Word Count: 6,664 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Dad Bod Hotch, Oblivious Hotch, Flirting, Reader has a few one night stands, Semi-public sex, Unprotected sex, Blow jobs/Face fucking, Hairpulling, Fingering, Praise and degradation, Dirty talk, Accidental reveal of feelings, TW blood/cut Summary: You have been in lust (and love) with Aaron for a while, but his new look sends you off the deep end, and it's enough to make you do some pretty crazy things. *Inspired by @ssamorganhotchner and these three pics. Link to A03 or read below! You are fresh off yet another unsuccessful first date when Aaron wears the new suit. You, Emily, JJ, and Penelope are standing by the coffee maker, complaining about the pitfalls of online dating and how people are never they way they seem when you actually meet in person; you have the carafe in your hand, filling your mug, and when he walks in, face in a case file, his pants so tight you can make out his hips and thighs as clearly as if he were naked… You kind of lose your shit. And your grip.

The carafe shatters when it hits the tile floor, spraying shards of glass and hot coffee everywhere; Emily gasps, Penelope jumps back to avoid the splatter, JJ runs for a broom, and you just stand there, staring at Aaron—at his tight slacks, at his belt, at his shirt, tucked neatly inside, then at his dangling tie, and finally, his worried face.

“Are you alright?” he asks, because you have literally not moved a muscle since he arrived; your boots are covered in coffee—you are thankful you dressed casually today and aren’t wearing heels, or you’d be in a lot of pain—and your heart is racing, but otherwise you feel frozen, unable to move or look away.

You’ve wanted Aaron for a long time, and everyone knows it but him. It’s part of the reason you’re smothering yourself with online hookups and blind dates and one night stands: because he is off limits, and you’re desperately horny for him, and you need to have him fucked out of your mind one way or another.

The new suit further complicates things.

“Fine,” you say after a few more seconds, and JJ comes back with the broom and dustpan, so you bend down to help her clean up your mess. It wasn’t your brightest idea, because you are now at eye level with the tight crotch of his pants, and all you can think of is working the zipper open, pulling him carefully past the fly, sucking him off until those big hands slip into your hair and tug roughly when he comes.

God. You’re going to have to go on another bad date. Or ten.

“New suit?” Penelope asks conversationally, as if you aren’t having a sexual crisis about it three feet away. “Looks good, boss.” Aaron runs his hand down his body self-consciously, but all you see are thick fingers and stomach and hnnngg…

JJ pinches the back of your arm hard, makes a face that screams get it together!!, and you take a deep breath.

“I took some of my old ones in for alterations and the salesman convinced me they were severely outdated. Do you like this style better?”

For some reason, it feels like he’s looking right at you, and you nod, dreamy-eyed, sweep your tongue over your lips.

“Better,” you rasp, and Emily and Penelope agree, probably to take the emphasis off of your slack mouth and dopey one-word answers. You try to help JJ clean up, picking up the larger pieces of glass and dropping them into the dustpan despite her protests—because you are very unfocused, shouldn’t be messing with sharp objects—and when you cut your finger on a piece, she just sighs. Such a mom.

You wince, and Aaron frowns, comes toward you, putting you not only at dick height, but a manageable dick distance, if you were so inclined; really, it’s more if he were so inclined, because you are actually fully prepared to swallow his load right here in front of your friends—all he’d have to do would be snap his fingers and point to his crotch, and the FBI would be suing you for mental distress and using the money to pay for therapy for Emily, Penelope, and JJ.

“Let’s get this cleaned up,” he says, snapping you out of your very elaborate fantasy (typically your fantasies don’t involve court costs, but this is Aaron, so anything is possible.) He wraps his hand around your injured finger and pulls you up to standing with the other, and you just follow along as he leads you over to the sink, turns on the tap to let the water run over your cut. The way you’re looking up at him like he’s the best thing you’ve ever seen has to be painfully obvious, but he just reaches over for the first aid kit, takes out a bandage, and wraps it carefully around the tip of your finger. You sigh.

It may have started out as lust, but you’re pretty sure you’re also in love.

You have got to find a way to get him to notice you as more than just an agent, a teammate, a friend, and so: Operation ‘Get Hotch Out Of His Tight Pants’ begins. You fill the girls in on your master plan, and they fill in Derek and Spencer just so there are more people to laugh at you when you crash and burn, probably. But you’ve got a plan, will be pulling out all the stops, so you might not fail horribly after all. Hopefully.

God, you absolutely cannot fail. You can’t go out with another software engineer with the personality of a peanut or another investment banker who thinks buying you an appetizer means you owe him a blow job in the front seat of his Tesla. You will go fucking insane.

Today’s plan is T for tits, because yours are pretty awesome and almost no one who is attracted to women can resist them. You wear your usual white button down top, but you leave the top two buttons undone, and you add a red, lacy bra for a little additional temptation.

“Here are those consults you asked for,” you say after knocking lightly on the doorframe; Aaron waves you inside. You set them down on his desk, then glance over the open folder in front of him, make a curious noise. “What are you working on up here?”

You walk around his desk, so you’re standing next to him, and lean forward to look over the case file with one hand on the back of his chair and the other pressed against the desk. If he would look over, he would see right down your top, your breasts high and smushed together thanks to the lacy push up… but he looks straight down at the file, taps his pen against it.

“Murders in Detroit. I don’t think we’ll go—they look like mob hits to me, so I’m going to refer the case to Organized Crime.” You hum, turn the file toward you and lean in a little closer, letting your hair spill over your shoulder, the neck of your blouse fall open. Boobs and perfume are usually a one-two punch that is capable of bringing any man to his knees, and while he does turn to look at you, it feels entirely too respectful for your liking. You sigh softly, give up for today, and turn the file back.

“Well you know best, boss. Any time I don’t have to go to Detroit is alright by me.” You flash him a smile, and he reciprocates, and you head back downstairs for a cup of coffee and maybe a stale shame pastry.

The team looks up at you when you approach, and you shake your head.

“No luck,” you mutter, and Derek laughs, crosses his arms over his chest.

“Maybe you’re not very good at flirting. What did you do?” You roll your eyes—your flirting is not the problem, it’s Aaron’s morals and manners or whatever—and walk over to Spencer’s desk, demonstrate with him what you did to Aaron; you put your hand on the back of his chair, toss your hair over your shoulder, lean in, and Spencer swallows hard, licks his lips, and looks abruptly down at his hands. That reaction, you would have gladly taken.

Derek clears his throat, and so does Emily. Hmm.

“I’m good at flirting,” you say, straightening up; Spencer is blushing, and it’s super cute, so you pat him lightly on the head. “Maybe he’s an ass man. I’ll wear a skirt tomorrow and we’ll see if that gets the job done.”

“Good idea,” Derek says, and when you walk past him, he gives you a once over that makes you feel pretty damn good. “In the meantime, why don’t you come and demonstrate on me?”

There’s no denying he is one of the finest men you’ve ever seen in your life, and earlier on in your career you might have taken him up on it—it would have to be better than Marty McTesla, that’s a given—but you know he’s mostly teasing, even if there is a thin layer of actual desire beneath it all. You just fluff your hair and take your seat and mentally flip through your closet to try to come up with an outfit Aaron can’t refuse. You decide on a pencil skirt, because that’s got to be every boss's fantasy, right? You have one you never wear to the office because it’s a little sexy, tight on your hips and ass, with a zipper up the back that you can open a little and use to your advantage. When you walk into the bullpen that morning, JJ whistles, and you grin, do a little twirl.

“Thank you, thank you. This has to work, right?” You turn to face Emily, then turn away from Emily, butt right in her face. “Emily? This will work, right?”

“That’s... definitely going to work,” she murmurs, tapping the cap of her pen against her teeth, and you have to admit you have a good feeling about this one. For as great as breasts are, your ass is your best asset, and if the open top and red bra didn’t work, this has to be your ticket to some sweet, dirty loving, it just has to.

You all head up for the morning meeting, filing into the briefing room, and you give Aaron a soft greeting and a smile just like every day, and then offer to help him pass out whatever stack of papers he’s holding in his hands—fire drills and emergency protocol, or something boring like that. He accepts the help, and you take the fliers, but instead of walking around and handing them to each member of the team like he would, you bend over the table, reach across, and drop the pages in front of everyone.

JJ is the furthest away, and you practically have to climb onto the table to reach her; you grin and wink when she takes the papers out of your hand, and she shakes her head like you’re too much, but when you stand back up to hand Aaron the extras, he doesn’t seem the slightest bit interested.

He thanks you for your help, and you take your seat and listen to him go on about emergency exits and fire extinguishers and seriously start to contemplate moving to Europe to start a new life, or something else equally dramatic.

Because you don’t give up easily, you orchestrate one more attempt to get him to show some interest in you. You know he usually goes downstairs to the cafeteria for lunch, and that the elevator is a jam-packed nightmare because the main stairwell is currently under construction (which is probably why you needed to go over safety protocol, now that you think about it; shutting down the stairwell seems very unsafe.) You usually pack your lunch, but you can go buy an overpriced salad for the sake of your sex drive, so you wait for the elevator when he does, making small talk about your mornings until it dings and arrives on your floor.

He tries to let you in first, gentleman that he is, but that won’t work with your plan, so you insist, earning eye rolls from the other passengers on the elevator. You give Amy from Forensic Accounting a dirty look and then step in after him, lean back against him because there’s really no fucking room to even take a breath.

He’s taller than you, but with heels on your ass still fits pretty nicely against his thighs; a little too nicely, you think, as you get wet just from standing near him in the elevator, the heat of his body through your skirt. You really are a mess.

There are two more floors to go before the cafeteria, and no one gets off, but more people manage to cram into the elevator, which means you press more tightly against him to make room. Someone bumps into you roughly, which makes you unsteady on your feet; Aaron puts his hands low on your hips to keep you from wobbling, and your eyes literally roll back in your head, but he just leans in to mutter, “sorry” into your ear. You say nothing, because you’d probably moan if you opened your mouth, but you shake your head so he knows it’s not a problem.

When everyone gets off downstairs, you hurry to the restroom and don’t look back, turn on the faucet and splash some cold water against your overheated neck and chest. So much for that plan. All you managed to do was work yourself up into a fury.

While you’re in line to pay for your overpriced salad, you open up your dating app and secure yourself drinks with a hot lawyer for tonight. Seduction is clearly not working with Aaron, he’s clearly not interested, and you have to find a way to move on before you have a spontaneous workplace orgasm and get fired from the job you love—all of his tight new suits have been dark so far, but if he shows up in gray, you’re not going to have the will to survive anymore. You have to plan for the worst.

The lawyer is nice enough, but he’s too short, too thin; it’s hard to imagine Aaron’s body weight on top of you when he’s fucking you, but you’re nothing if not resourceful, so you move your hands to his head of thick, dark hair and focus on that—that, and his hot breath against your throat when he comes a little too soon and mutters “sorry” into your ear.

“It’s okay,” you pant, reaching between you to rub your clit. You close your eyes, tip your head back, clench around him; you imagine it’s Aaron inside you instead, and bury your face in his shoulder when you come.

He’s willing to stay, but you explain why it’s better if he leaves, and then you fall back into bed, fumble for your vibrator, and get off again so you’re not too distracted by reality to really enjoy your fantasy.

It’s a little twisted, but it is what it is. You’re standing in the breakroom a few days later, swiping through the dating app and bullshitting with Derek and Penelope, when this guy pops up on your screen. He’s not your usual type, younger and blonder than you prefer these days, a pilot, but something about his profile makes you pause; when it hits you, you blow out a breath and look up at your friends.

“So you guys know Operation ‘Get Hotch Out Of His Tight Pants’ is officially dead in the water,” you begin, and they nod, “and now I’m focusing my energy on trying to get over him. I went on a date with a guy that kind of looked like him, and that didn’t really help, but what if…” You turn your screen to face them; Derek nods like it might be crazy enough to work, but Penelope grimaces.

“No, I don’t think that’s going to work. It might actually be crossing a line,” she says with a frown, and you look to Derek for his input.

“It’s more of a coincidence than anything, right? It’s not like he’s unattractive and this is the only reason you’re going out with him. He’s a good looking guy,” he admits, and you’re really grateful he’s willing to help you rationalize this probably terrible idea into a potentially decent idea.

You send the pilot a message, and he wants to meet up; he suggests a bar near the both of you, and you know it’s risky, but you tell him you happen to make a great gin and tonic and that you have everything you need at home, if he’d like to meet you there instead.

He does, and you don’t even make him that drink, just take off his clothes, get him into your bed.

“That’s right, babe—wanna hear you lose it for me. Say my name, gorgeous,” he groans, fingers digging into your hips as he fucks you from behind, and you close your eyes, fist your hands in the sheets, and give him what he wants.

“Oh, fuck, Aaron. Fuck me harder.” His thrusts are already rough and punishing, but this is the best you’ve felt in a really long time, so you’re eager, desperate for more. “Yeah, Aaron, just like that.”

“Tell me my big cock feels so good in your pussy.” He slaps your ass, and you moan involuntarily, press back against him, panting.

“Your big cock feels so good, Aaron, so good in my pussy. Fuck me, Aaron, destroy me.” He grunts, tenses, and moves his hands to your shoulders, slamming your body tight against his as he comes. “Yes, don’t stop, Aaron, don’t stop,” you plead, hips working together, and when he smacks your ass again you come gasping his name, collapsing against the bed with a breathless sigh.

You feel a lot dirtier than you expected you would, even though it was kind of awesome, and ultimately Penelope was right; it was fun while it lasted, but it didn’t do a damn thing to help you forget about the only Aaron you actually want in your bed. Monday morning, Aaron comes into the office wearing a tight navy suit with a striped white shirt and a navy tie, and you follow him with your eyes from the glass double doors all the way up to his office, mouth open a little. Your eyes get heavy and your breathing picks up, which is the dumbest biological reaction to a man’s ass you’ve ever had—but god, it’s a perfect ass—and JJ has to actually lightly slap your cheek to get you to snap the fuck out of it.

“Are you horny right now?” she asks, a little grossed out. “I can’t handle you.”

“I know you guys all call him a tightass, but I mean, if the pants fit… and god, do they fit.” You pick up a case file and fan yourself with it. “He’s so fucking hot. What am I supposed to do? Getting railed by fake Aaron didn’t do shit; I think I might actually have to transfer.”

“You’re not transferring. You just have to get over it.”

“Are you kidding? She’s like a cat in heat when he’s around,” Derek says with a smirk. “I think I’m getting horny just because she’s horny.”

“Okay, so why can’t I have that effect on him?” you ask with your arms open. “Do you think it’s the pheromones? Maybe they’re incompatible. Smell me—does it turn you on?” you ask Spencer, presenting your neck, and he looks like a deer in the headlights, then leans in to sniff you.

“Uh… you smell nice?” he says with a shrug and a half smile. “I think it’s just your perfume, though.”

“Put your face near her boobs,” Derek says, and Spencer starts to lean in again. “I think the pheromones are stronger there.” He pauses about halfway to your chest.

“Actually, they’re stronger near the genitals, but I don’t think that’s appropriate.”

“What’s going on down there?” You freeze and then turn to look up at Aaron’s office, where he leans against the doorframe; Spencer stands up comically fast, and you take a step back, clearing your throat. Aaron’s scowling—it’s really sexy and it’s making your heart beat in your stupid, traitor pussy—and then he sighs visibly. “We have a case, come on.”

The case is only a half hour away, so you drive, which is horrible, because you are with Aaron and Derek, and Derek lets you sit in the front just to watch you squirm.

It gets bad before you even pull out of the parking garage, because Aaron puts his hand on the back of your headrest to look behind him and reverse the SUV, and you look over at his body—his stomach, his lap, his thighs—and then quickly face forward when he puts the car into drive. You’re flushed, breathing heavily, and when he looks you over quizzically, asks if you’re alright, you just clear your throat and nod.

“Allergies,” Derek supplies from the back, and you mentally thank him for the save, but you kind of also want to smack him for putting you in this position in the first place.

You’re practically turned on the entire ride, even as you go over the details of the case, because his legs are spread and your eyes keep moving to his crotch; at one point, you think you notice his already unfairly tight pants getting a little tighter, but it’s just a trick of light.

By the time you arrive at the precinct, you are more than ready for fresh air, to put some distance between yourself and Aaron. You’re out of the car almost as soon as he turns off the engine, which probably looks weird as hell, but for your sanity you can’t give it too much thought.

The head detective and a junior detective give you a run down on the case while the other half of your team meets with officers at the crime scene. The head detective, a tall, handsome man in his forties, is looking at you like you’re a juicy steak and he hasn’t eaten in months; Derek notices, turns to you with a raised eyebrow and mouths ‘pheromones,’ Aaron is clearly unhappy about the detective’s lack of professionalism, and you couldn’t really care less about the attention. You just want to do your job and go home and touch yourself to thoughts of your boss… as one does.

The local police already have a board made up, so the three of you travel to speak with some witnesses, head back to the precinct, work the tip lines. Aaron seems to be looking at you more than usual, and when you get up to stretch your legs, he’s right behind you, following you out into the hall.

“Are you sure you're alright today?” he asks with a serious expression, hands on his hips. Your mouth waters. “You’ve been acting a little strange.”

“Stranger than normal?” You try to smile, to lighten the mood, but as oblivious as he’s been about everything else, he’s always been able to tell when you try to hide your emotions with humor.

“The last couple weeks? Yes.” He moves a little closer, and you try your best not to let it affect you—or at least not to let it show when it does. “You know by now that you can come to me anytime, for anything.” He doesn’t present it as a question, but it’s clear on his face that he’s looking for an answer.

“I know. I’m going through something… stupid,” you say with a shrug. “Something I should be able to handle, but it’s harder than I imagined.” He frowns, flicks his eyes over your face.

“Let me help you.”

“You can’t; trust me, you can’t,” you say, pleading with your voice, begging him to drop it. “I’ll get through it.” You shut your eyes briefly, exhale, and he reaches down to take one of your hands in his.

“Are you in trouble?” This is the most intimately he’s ever touched you, and it’s not just your body that sings; you know you’re in love with him, have been for a while, but focusing on the horny feelings is easier. It makes it feel like you have less to lose.

“No, it’s nothing like that. I just need some time. Thank you.” You squeeze his hand, and then Derek pokes his head into the hall behind him.

“We got a tip about the unsub barricading a house downtown; the detective is mobilizing SWAT,” he says; when he glances down at your hands, you pull yours softly out of Aaron’s grasp.

“What do you want us to do, boss?” you ask, effectively ending your conversation, and he tells you to get suited up with comms and Kevlar so the three of you can head to the new scene. Aaron is, unsurprisingly, a complete badass, storming the house along with SWAT, you at his side; it’s his way of reminding you that he trusts you, that it can and should go both ways—he is so perfectly predictable, reassuring with gestures over words even in a situation like this one. It does nothing to help you stop wanting him.

He’s a little rough with the unsub (and that doesn’t help either,) looks ruffled and kind of pissed when you climb in the SUV to head back to the precinct. Spencer, JJ, and Emily meet you there, and you take the opportunity to vent about how indescribably good Aaron has looked all day—Spencer bows out of the conversation early, but JJ and Emily are kind enough to listen to your insane, horny ramblings.

“He’s just so hot—he always has been, but the new suits? They’re so tight, and his shirts show off his tummy, and his pants show off his thighs… You guys will never understand the things I want to do to him.”

“Okay, he’s handsome enough, but you’re nasty about it—I can’t handle you,” JJ says, not for the first time. You groan in response.

“How can you say that? Have you fucking seen him? I’m not supposed to think nasty thoughts when he walks around looking like that?”

You feel yourself getting a little out of hand, and Emily and JJ look like they’re trying to shut you up, but you can’t stop yourself. It’s like the floodgates have opened.

“He’s never going to know what I want to do to him… what I want him to do to me. I tried so hard, and he didn’t even look at me. All I wanted to do was get on my knees for him and grab his ass so he could fuck my throat as hard as fucking possible—is that so much to ask for?” You pause, but neither of them say anything, just look scandalized. “I guess I’m going to have to name my vibrator Hotch now, since that’s clearly the closest I’ll ever get to him giving me an orgasm.”

“Do you really mean that?”

You jump a fucking foot, spin around, almost knocking Emily and JJ over in the process; Aaron is in front of you, his brow furrowed, arms crossed over his vest (he hasn’t taken that thing off yet? You threw yours on the table like the minute you got back), and your mouth opens and your eyes close at the same time.

Oh fucking fuck.

“We’re gonna… go,” Emily says awkwardly, and you open your eyes abruptly when Aaron speaks again.

“No, we’re going to go; come with me,” he tells you, and he turns and heads down the hall; you look back at Emily and JJ, swallow hard, and follow him, your heart beating fast.

He steps into a small room with a copy machine, table, shelves of paper and envelopes and other supplies, and closes the door behind you, engages the lock. You are torn between being very worried he’s going to fire you and super turned on, because this is definitely a fantasy you’ve had before.

“Aaron,” you begin, running a hand through your hair. “I’m sorry. I think it was the adrenaline; it makes me run my mouth and I can’t stop it, you know that.” He’s facing away from you, his hands on his hips again, and you can see the way his body moves when he sighs.

“Did you mean it, though?” When he turns to look at you, he doesn’t look angry, he looks… nervous. “Do you want me?” His reaction is unexpected—not great, but not necessarily bad—and you bite your lip, nod.

“Yeah. So fucking bad. And I’m sorry—” That’s as far into your apology as you get before his mouth is on yours, his hands on your face, lips pressing against you for a rough, eager kiss. Your hands move to his waist, pulling him closer by the vest, and he lifts you up onto the table, tugs down the v-neck of your t-shirt, mouths at your throat.

“You think I didn’t look at you?” he says when he pulls away for a breath, tipping your chin down so you’ll look into his eyes. “You think I didn’t see that lacy red bra, your perfect ass bent over in the tight skirt? You think I didn’t feel it pressed against me in the elevator, that I didn’t want to push that skirt up and sink inside you and take you there in front of everyone?”

You moan, chest heaving, twist your fingers in his hair and pull him in for another kiss, dripping and trembling at his admission.

“I would have let you,” you murmur against his lips, and there’s no doubt in your mind that you would have, if that’s what he’d wanted. “I would let you do anything: not just let you, but I’d want it, beg for it. I meant what I said—I’d get on my knees for you, anytime, anywhere, do whatever you want me to do. I want to be yours.”

He catches your mouth in another rough kiss, then puts his hands on your waist, guides you off the table, and flips open his belt, the fly of his pants.

“Oh god. What are you doing?” you ask, and he slides down his zipper, pulls you with him until his back hits the door.

“I’m giving you what you asked for,” he rasps, staring into your eyes, his gaze smoldering. It’s so fucking hot your pussy clenches.

You lick your lips, drop to your knees on the tile floor so hard it hurts, tug his pants open and pull out his thick, hard, veiny cock.

Your dreams and fantasies did not do it justice.

“Fuck. Thank you,” you mumble, looking up at him, and he wraps his hands in your hair, pulls tightly. You moan just from that and the heft of him in your hand. “Thank you.”

“Shh.” He scrapes his fingers over your scalp, hums as you start stroking him, licking the head. “Don’t thank me—I should be thanking you, beautiful, perfect girl. In what world do I get this?” There are lots of things you want to say to that, but you’ve waited long enough, will have to say them later.

You lick your lips, collect lots of saliva, and take him into your mouth, get your hands on his ass and dig your nails in. Aaron groans, tightens his fingers in your hair, and when you look up at him it feels like a fever dream, like it’s not real but a delicious figment of your imagination.

For a minute or two, you stroke him with a tight, wet mouth, and it’s got you aching between your legs, but he’s supposed to be fucking your throat, technically, if he’s giving you what you asked for. You pull off, tell him that, and he tugs your head back roughly, guides you back onto his cock and starts thrusting into your mouth, earning vibrating moans around it.

“God, you’re so perfect. How long have you been thinking about this? How long have you touched yourself to the thought of me fucking your pretty face?” He picks up the pace, pushes deeper when he sees you can handle it, and you squeeze his ass, feel your eyelids flutter as he uses your mouth, pulls your hair. “Are you a whore for me?” he grinds out, and the moan that rips from your throat is inhuman, embarrassing, and absolutely accurate. “Yes you are, baby, yes you are. My pretty whore, on your knees, mouth stretched wide and filled with cock.”

You’ve never been so turned on from a blow job, but this is Aaron, hot and dirty and forceful, everything you imagined and more. You squeeze him tighter, encourage rougher treatment, and he presses his hands against the back for your head, slams his dick in so deep it aches; you don’t gag, but it’s a near thing, and when he pulls you off you gasp for breath and whimper at the loss at the same time.

“Enough of that, baby. You were perfect, so good for me, almost choking on my cock, but I bet your pussy is wet and aching. Do you want me inside it?”

“Holy—yes, fuck, please. Please,” you breathe, and he helps you to your feet and then pushes you against the door, gets your pants down. His rough treatment has you whining, gripping the hair on the back of his head, and you kick off your boots and socks so you can step out of your pants completely. “Keep all this on,” you tell him, pants and shirt and tie and Kevlar vest and all, and he nods, kisses you deeply, presses two fingers inside you.

“Fuck,” he groans when you receive him easily, soft and wet and open, and he uses his free hand to sweep down your top, slipping the buttons loose so he can get a better view of your tits and black lace bra that’s holding them. “So beautiful, and finally mine,” he mutters against your throat, and you whine, let your head fall back against the door, and give in to the pleasure of his thick fingers moving inside you.

“Finally mine,” you murmur, tugging his hair, slamming down against his hand, and when you come it’s like a miracle; you cry out, clamp down, and wrap your free hand around his bicep and squeeze until you’re lightheaded, dazed, desperate for another.

You kiss, deep and passionate and filthy, and Aaron slides his fingers into your mouth, pumps them a few times, then kisses you again.

“Good girl. Are you ready for my cock now?” You pant, gasp, and nod your head, and he pushes your shirt off your shoulders, lifts your legs so you’ll wrap them around his waist, and pushes inside you. You both moan, kiss, moan again, and then you wrap your arms around his broad back, hook your fingers in his vest, and hold on while he pounds your body roughly against the door.

“Oh, Aaron, fuck. Yeah. Want you to slam your body against mine; want to feel it, want to feel all of you.” He looks into your eyes, breathing hard, fucks up into you, hands on your ass, his hips and torso pinning you in place.

“Sweet, pretty, slutty girl,” he pants, spreading you open and shoving himself inside your pussy. “You tried tempting me, and oh, did it work. I might not have shown it…” He ducks in to kiss the base of your throat and you cling tighter, rock against his hips. “But it worked. You dressed like a whore just for me, just so I’d notice you; do you I know went home and stroked my cock and came with your name on my lips?”

“Holy shit. That’s so hot.” You move a hand to his hair again, can’t not thread your fingers there now that it’s allowed. “Could have fucked me like this then. Could have come in my pussy, not your hand.”

“We’ll make up for lost time,” he promises, and he thrusts up with his whole body, so you can feel it pressed against yours—shoulders, chest, stomach, all the very best parts of him. “I’m not too much for you? Can you take it?”

“Perfect for me,” you gasp, holding tightly to his vest at his shoulder and his shirt at his hip, bouncing into his thrusts. “So perfect, want you. I can take it. I can take it, Aaron.” Your mouths meet for a messy, hot kiss, lots of tongue, and you groan. “Give it to me, give it all to me.”

He bends his knees a little more, fucks you so rough and hard your mouth falls open and all you can do is whimper, clutch him, gracelessly kiss back when he presses his lips to yours.

He comes first, holds tightly to your hip and pumps inside you, fills you and then some, so it drips out while he’s still inside. It feels sinful, even after everything, and with a few rough drags of his palm over your lace covered nipple, you tighten and grip him and gasp out his name.

You both slow, and then he turns you, leans back against the door for a little relief after holding you up for so long. He nuzzles into your hair, and you bury your face in his neck, and you kiss soft and sweet until you’re feeling stable enough to hop out of his arms and put your clothes back on. He rights his as well, and when you’re both put together he wraps you up in a hug, kisses you, holds you with soft hands on your cheeks.

“I really have waited so long for this.” He brushes his lips over yours, and you sigh. “You never indicated… I was trying to be professional. Then out of nowhere you were leaning over my desk and bending over the table, and I was a little blown away.” You nod, can see that, pull him down for a kiss.

“It’s the goddamn suits,” you say with a half smile, and he gives you a curious look. “Your new, better fitting suits? They fit you so fucking well it’s almost illegal; I’m thinking of pursuing charges against your tailor for reckless endangerment on behalf of my libido, and the coffee carafe, and my poor, worn out vibrator.” He chuckles, hugs you closer, squeezes you so tightly against his body you almost pass out from all the good things you feel.

“Maybe we can strike a deal,” he murmurs, pushing your hair back behind your ear, and you bite your lip, nod.

“Yeah, I’m sure you’ll think of something you can do to make it worth my while.” After a little more hugging and kissing, the two of you figure it’s time to emerge from the supply closet; you don’t see your team anywhere, which surprises you, but when you get to your phone and pull up your texts, it all makes sense.

Derek: Congrats on the sex. The four of us headed home because no one wants to ride with the two of you and your pheromones.

Emily: Yay, you did it!! Drinks on me next time we go out!

JJ: You guys are loud; don’t make a habit of that.

Penelope: I hear congrats are in order! And by hear, I don’t mean hear. There’s NOT an audio clip or anything, so don’t worry about that!!

Spencer: Emily took an audio clip. Is it normal for girls to enjoy being called a whore? You don’t have to answer that.

You take a very deep breath, give him the gist of the messages—you’re on your own, they heard at least part of it, there is some potentially damning evidence that needs to be destroyed—and you leave the precinct to head home in a better mood than you’ve been in in a very long time.

Aaron takes you out for a late dinner, and he spends the night at your place, falls asleep warm and solid and very naked in the middle of your bed.

Taglist ❤️: @thaddeusly @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul @ssamorganhotchner @heliotropehotch @angelhotchner @qtip-blog @gspenc @wishuhadstayed @averyhotchner

[ransprang]

Hello! My name is Isabelle and I would like to request a male, romantic, SFW + NSFW match-up for Harry Potter and Avatar, please and thank you :)

I've been told that I am a very blunt and direct person. I'm a realist and tend towards being a little pessimistic. However, this makes me a very honest person, which people appreciate, and know that I won't sugar coat anything that needs to be said. I am mainly extroverted but only if I have to be and/or with people I enjoy being around. I am a big flirt but I prefer getting into a meaningful relationship with someone and focusing that flirting energy on them (if that makes sense). I have a very dark/dry sense of humour and honestly, I have the propensity to say the wrong things at the wrong time. I value learning and believe that there is always something to learn and improve on.

For hobbies, I enjoy reading a lot and cooking. I am a geochemist so for work I go on hikes a lot to collect and identify rocks/fossils/foliage samples to bring back to my lab. I also enjoy ballroom dancing and am classically trained in piano.

I like guys who display themselves as powerful and in-charge but would not be afraid to let me take reign once in a while. I am a possessive and jealous person so I like guys who will feel the same way towards me (respectfully of course I don't like being treated just as an object). Someone protective of their loved ones is a plus. I cannot stand being with someone who cannot support me in my accomplishments and prefer a man who can hold themselves intelligently. I am not one for PDA and publically announcing my love, so a man who prefers a more intimate relationship is nice.

I am an ENTJ Ravenclaw Aries with fairly long black hair (the underside is currently bleached), dark brown (almost black) eyes, and tanned skin. I'm 5'3 and have a thicker hourglass figure. My style most days is very dark academia. My love language is split between words of affirmation and quality time.

Sorry, this is a lot longer than I thought it would be! But thank you again for doing this ❤️

hii thank you for the request :D

Your Harry Potter match up is...........MOODY!!!

SFW

Moody is a suspicious, paranoid bastard so he'd love your blunt and direct attitude. He would appreciate your realistic mindset because he can rely on you as an anchor when he gets too paranoid.

He would also appreciate your pessimistic side, knowing you wouldn't judge him for being paranoid in a world of murderous racist wizards.

Your and Moody's sense of humour would match and he would be able to make all the cripple jokes he wants because of his leg :0

Flirting with Moody would catch him off guard in the way he least expects it. He's always alert to signs of other people harming him, but someone being actually attracted to him? Initially he would be suspicious of it because of his insecurities but over time he would begin to trust you and you'd leave the man would be shaking on that peg leg.

Although the books never showed Moody being particularly powerful he's actually one of the greatest wizards of his generation having survived all the battles and trauma the poor fella has suffered. Scars like that ain't cheap. He definitely knows how to take charge of a room and wise and experienced enough to let other people take charge when he needs to.

Tbh Moody probably doesn't date often, but if you cross his barriers and do manage to get into his heart he isn't letting you go easy. He would be possessive and jealous. Although you would probably have to reassure him about cheating just to allay his suspicions.

N/SFW

Moody in bed is a delicious concept. You could take your time tracing, licking and biting each scar on his strong, thick dad bod.

His fake eye would be bouncing all over the place when you get naked, truly not knowing where to look <3

Moody has a peg on his leg, therefore it's safe to assume he would enjoy getting pegged. Have at it, buddy.

Although Moody's grown a bit of pudge over the years, below that is hard, well-toned muscle. He's strong and could flip you on the bed and fuck you senseless when the time calls for it.

ATLA match up is under the cut

Your ATLA match up is..............OZAI!!!

SFW

You and Ozai would probably meet at a ball for the nobility in the fire kingdom where you both end up being matched up as dance partners, He would be charmed by your skills and sense of humor, and you wouldn't be able to resist a little flirting. He would meet you in secret after that and would wish to make you his concubine.

Being a control freak, he would be possessive to the max. He's possessing you, your house, your family members. He's the emperor, he owns everything.

Ozai would match you in the flirting department but only in private. To everyone else he's the Fire Lord but to you, he's Ozzy with a nice ass.

Ozai's jokes would just be his terrible thoughts spoken out loud, but you could always interpret them as dark, sarcastic humor.

Since you like reading, he would encourage you to read books about battle strategies and tactics like art of war by Sun Tzu. That way he could have a well-trained general as his lover, his ultimate fantasy. Not to mention how much he'd appreciate your skills in the finer arts. Being royalty, Ozai would have rich people tastes and would enjoy classical music and ballroom dancing.

Ozai isn't thrilled about you being a geochemist since it's too much in the Earth kingdom department. But he'll just try and be happy since atleast you're not a filthy water/air bender.

He would never publicly admit to you're relationship to the public so you never have to worry about PDA! He's low key ashamed of loving an Earth bender.

N/SFW

Ozai's the most powerful man out there, as far as the ATLA verse goes. He's made of pure dom daddy juice.

Ozai would be a brat-tamer in bed and treat you like he treats Zuko and azula. Expect spankings, and some harsh words.

He would be a natural dom in bed but if you wanted to take over you would have to REALLY fight him. We hope you can do it though :)

He'd definitely be into candle play and enjoy dripping wax onto your bare, sensitive skin.

Your powerful women,

admins san & sar

[gainerstories]

Professor Plump

*UNLOCKED*

As a big fat thank you to everyone who has supported this blog and enjoyed my stories, I am unlocking one of my favorite stories off Patreon. This has been a rough year for everyone and y’all enjoy a little treat. Of course, if you want more (20+ more fattening stories in fact) you know where to go. Enjoy. 

As much as Robert Daniels loved being a professor, he woke up full of dread on the first day of fall semester. At 28 he was the youngest tenure track faculty in his department and he often felt that all eyes were on him. His first academic year had been rough, exhausting, and tiresome and he wasn’t ready to get back in the game. He just wanted his beautifully sunny and lazy summer vacation to last one or two more months.

As he sat up in bed his belly spilled forward pushing down his morning wood. There was no doubt he’d gained quite a bit of pudge in the last few months. It didn’t bother him, however, as most of his colleagues were plump and he viewed extra weight as a sign of contentment and maturity. During the school year he had actually lost weight from stress and being overworked. His new, rounder form lent a sense of satisfaction.

As Robert stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom to shower he took a close look at himself. He’d be turning 29 soon and was finally starting to look like a man. His face had grown scruffy and his chest hair finally bloomed across his pecs and down to his puffy stomach. The thirty pounds of fat that clung to his belly also gave him a more mature look. He was now firmly within “dad bod” territory and wore that badge with pride. He scooped his fat up with both his hands and gave it a hearty jiggle. He wondered if anyone on campus would comment on his somewhat weight gain.

Turning around, Robert examined his rear which was now fluffy and dimpled with cellulite. He noticed that even his ass had grown a bit hairier along with a small patch of fuzz on his lower back, framed between two bulging love handles. He could recall seeing the same patch on his father and wondering if the same was in store for himself. This memory cemented his perceived transition into manhood.

Robert’s thighs had also thickened up a bit and now touched when he was standing straight. He rubbed his thighs and gave them a slap, admiring how they bounced. Lately, he had no choice but to manspread when he sat down. Crossing his legs was a thing of the past. The added weight on his lower half gave him a sense of groundedness. All around the extra pudge made him feel strong and unshakable, despite jiggling quite a lot when he actually did shake.

Most of this excess poundage had been accrued during a month long cruise down Central America. Robert had spent almost every single day getting tipsy on fruity blended drinks and satisfying his drunchies from dusk ‘til dawn at the buffet. Carbs became his best friend, soaking up the sugary alcoholic concoctions he guzzled during the day. Altogether, cruise life was a much needed respite from the long nights of grading papers and doing research during the academic year.

His salary did not allow him to indulge in fancy foods very often, and so this cruise was an opportunity to go hog wild. He made a conscious decision to eat and live like a king. As a result, he began to notice his body expanding only midway through the trip. It seemed as though out of nowhere he had grown a squishy paunch that jutted out behind his shirts. By the end of the vacation he was even larger, noticing fat accumulating all over his body.

As he stood in front of his bathroom mirror, Robert found himself particularly fascinated by the small white stretch marks that had formed at the top of his inner thighs. He traced his fingers over their subtle indentations. He hadn’t seen fresh stretch marks since puberty when his shoulders expanded overnight one summer. He was shocked to see the same thing happen simply from overeating on a long vacation.

Plump, tan, and satisfied, Robert stepped into the shower with vigor and began to get ready for his first day back to work. He trimmed his wild scruff back to a presentable shadow and styled his hair. He then slipped into underwear that clung more than usual to his meaty rump and resultantly compressed his bulge more than usual. He would have to remember to buy some new pairs. T-shirts had also grown a bit snug but this was not a huge concern for they would be hidden behind a button up. What he hadn’t considered was that his button ups from last year would also struggle to fit around his new body.

Robert sucked in his gut while doing each button. He let his stomach spill forward and was shocked at just how much the shirt did not fit. Scrambling through his closet he found the loosest button up he owned and put it on. It was still snug and would definitely be strained when he sat down, but it would have to suffice. Next, he slid into his stretchiest pair of chinos and was instantly filled with anxiety.

The fabric clung to his thighs and ass leaving little to the imagination. This would have been tolerable except for the fact that the waistband would not button no matter how hard he tried. With no other option, Robert scrounged a safety pin from the utility drawer and fastened the pants closed. Donning one of his bulkier belts he hoped no one would notice he’d outgrown his pants.

His day commenced with a faculty meeting catered with coffee and pastries. Although he had eaten a breakfast sandwich immediately upon getting to campus, he grabbed a healthy looking danish for the meeting. It was dry and mediocre as campus food tended to be, but that didn’t stop him from inhaling it within minutes. A few of his colleagues eyed his bulging waistline although no one made a comment.

Midway through the two hour meeting Robert found that his stomach was already growling to be fed. With no other choice, he would have to eat another Danish despite the fact he would be the only one going for seconds. He stood to grab one more danish and as he sat down he heard the unmistakable noise of a seam busting. Praying no one else heard, he subtly reached down to his thighs where a small hole had formed.

After the meeting he headed straight to the bathroom to examine the damage. It wasn’t too bad, maybe just an inch or so large. Plus, his underwear matched his pants so it was barely noticeable. He figured he could get through the day without anyone noticing. Although no one noticed the tear in his pants, his students were fully aware of his newfound growth.

“Mr. Daniels lookin’ THICK,” someone commented before his first class began.

Robert ignored the comment and got on with his lecture. Still, in the back of his head he worried about his appearance and snug outfit. There was no question he would be investing in some new work clothes. By the end of the class he was hungry once again. At least it was lunch time, so he felt justified in heading to the student union for a big meal. He grabbed a massive burrito, chips and guac, a cookie, and large soda which he brought back to his desk.

Such a filling lunch was exactly what he needed. The food was comforting and satisfying, giving the plump professor a sense of peace. After scarfing it all down he leaned back in his chair and sighed. Just as he did so two buttons on his shirt went shooting across the room. “Fuck,” he said aloud to himself and went searching for the buttons so he could sew them back on. As he knelt on his hands and knees he felt the contents of his belly slosh forward and the seam of his pants rip even further.

Eventually, he found the missing buttons and broke out the sewing kit to get them back on. By the time he was finished stitching himself back into his clothes, there was someone knocking at his door. He’d forgotten about office hours. In a mad rush he cleaned the food wrappers off his desk and greeted the student. As he sat back down at his desk the same two buttons snapped back off and shot under his desk. Although the student overtly stared at Robert’s bulging gut, filled to the brim with his fattening lunch, neither of them acknowledged the embarrassment.

After the student left, Robert took off the button up and slipped his spare sport coat over his tee. The tee was more than a little snug and definitely didn’t hide much- the indentation of his belly button was fully visible- but it would have to do. After a constant stream of students over the course of an hour Robert rushed to his next class. The lecture left Robert feeling exhausted and tired. It was evening and he had grown peckish again, so he decided to grab a bite to eat before he had a meeting with the dean and could go home.

Hawaiian barbecue sounded like a good idea when he ordered it. However, after gobbling up every last morsel, the young professor felt uncomfortably full and bloated. He yearned for to return to the cruise ship where he could take a long nap after overindulging, but instead he sluggishly headed to the dean’s office. His belly had swelled considerably with the Hawaiian food and he found himself having to stretch the hem of his shirt down to ensure his gut was fully concealed.

Once inside, Robert cautiously took a seat in one of the rickety old chairs in the waiting room for the dean. After a few seconds he felt a snap underneath his ass as the seat of the chair gave way. Trying to be as subtle as possible, Robert cautiously lifted himself from the broken chair and casually examined a painting on the wall until the dean greeted him.

Once inside, the dean offered him a home baked muffin that his wife had made. Robert tried to refuse at first but the dean pushed it on him. He began pecking at the muffin and realized it was indeed quite moist and delicious. He polished it off in a couple minutes and resisted licking his fingers. By the end of the meeting the dean persuaded Robert to take one more muffin for the road. Without a second thought, Robert greedily snatched the biggest muffin of the bunch.

As he walked through the campus at night, illuminated by lanterns, Robert gobbled up the muffin while reflecting on the fact that he was in desperate need of a new wardrobe. His belly was stuffed to capacity and the sheer weight of it bulging out in front of him forced Robert to walk slow and steady with his shoulders back and hips forward. Freed from his constricting button up, his rounded gut peeked out from behind the sport coat and wobbled back and forth with each step to his car.

The walk seemed longer than usual, likely because he was slower than usual. Somewhat winded, Robert couldn’t wait to sit down as he opened the door to his hatchback. However, as he did so, a booming snap assaulted his ears and he felt his belly spill forward into his lap. Robert’s belt had completely snapped in half while the thigh of his pants simultaneously split all the way open from knee to crotch. His girth was simply too much to contain.

At least it happened at the end of the day, he told himself.

[ghostinthewalls]

Hi bestie! I'm bored so can I have a creepypasta match-up please? Also sorry if this is really long.

So I'm a straight girl and I use she/her pronouns. Im a Leo and a ENTP. I'm 5'4 almost 5'5 I'm very pale and skinny, and I have freckles everywhere, especially on my face. I have thick brown hair that goes down to my mid back its kinda fluffy and it gets tangled pretty easily, I also have brown eyes.

My personality can be very strange when you first see me people say I have a resting bitch face and I look intimidating but when you actaully start to talk to me I can be very friendly and goofy! Almost everything that comes out of my mouth is sarcastic. I can be very stubborn, feisty and competitive when I want to be but I like to help people and I'll always listen to someone if they need it. Myself on the other hand hates to talk about my feelings and I'm very closed off, I don't tell anybody my problems and I try to ignore them until I explode basically.

The only way you can really describe me is as the idiot/sarcastic asshole in a friend group.

My style consists of flannels LOTS of flannels, oversized sweatshirts, ripped skinny jeans, tank tops, and band t-shirts. I also love wearing combat boots and converses.

You already know I love 90s and 80s (I personally think 90's is the best) but basically anything under the rock n roll genre I love. My favortie bands are Red Hot Chili Peppers, Alice in Chains, Soundgarden etc. I also like swimming and I was on a swim team for about 9 years and I've received many trophies, medals, ribbons etc. And I have a ton of weird stories from all those years of swimming.

Hey babes sorry for the wait,,,, HERE YOU GO!

I match you with🥁🥁..........

TIM WRIGHT/MASKY!!!

I headcanon Tim as an INFP. I did a lot of research and I read that ENTPs and INFPs go great together! (I'm also an ENTP btw)

Tim is 5'7, so he isn't that much taller than you. But he's tall enough to were he can kiss your forehead, and it's like his favorite thing to do

OMGGG FWECKLES HE LOVES THEM SO MUCHH

Hes a mega simp for them, like no joke

I think I've said this before, but Tim himself has some on his arms, inner thighs, neck, and chest

He loves your hair he thinks it's so pretty🥺🥺

He will absolutely buy you so many hair accessories. Barrette's, bobby pins, hair ties- literally anything you want

He'll even ask to braid your hair! Granted he doesn't know how to but,,,,HE WILL LEARN so please let himm

Brown eyes are so pretty like-

He sings you this song all the time

Says it's "our song"

Tim has the same personality

When people first meet him/talk to him. He is very sarcastic and has a very stoic expression. But after they get to know him he cracks dad jokes left and right

Tim is the definition of stubborn. Try to get him to go to bed at a reasonable time. Go on, try it

He thinks it's so cute that you're feisty, he says you remind him of a chihuahua

He DEFINETLY needs someone to talk to about all his problems

bb boy has so many pent up emotions, that as soon as he starts to open up to you, the dam just breaks

Just hold him and tell him you love him. It's all he wants to hear

He totally understands not wanting to talk about your problems, but he doesn't mind listening to yours

He won't force you to open up, but he lets you know that he's always there for you

He's the dad of the friend group-

You guys wear the exact same thing

He will so give you his clothes, just ask

Twinsiessss

He loves seeing you in his shirts, he doesn't know why; he just does

Tim has a dad bod so all his shirts will be kinda baggy on you

It's so cool that you have the same music taste as him. It just makes him love you even more<3

Will give you all his old CD's from when he was a teenager

I can just imagine him doin the little thumb taps on the steering wheel

This man can't swim to save his life, He just never learned how

He totally asks for you to teach him; and to tell him the stories-

This one's really long wow,,, I hope you like it, it was really fun to write!!

[adam-memeleri]

ok you knew this was coming when you reblogged the oc asks hdfjjhbds and i am very sorry but i can't stop myself i need all the knowledge on this man!!!

*RUNS TO YOUR ASKS* ALL OF THEM- ALL OF THE PHYSICAL FEATURES ASK GAME QUESTIONS FOR- FOR CARTER PLS!!!!!!!!!!!!🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺❤️

AJDHAKSFJEK

okay carter under the cut cuz this is longggg lmao

oc appearance asks

👁 - Brown! A very medium, warm and welcoming brown. The kind that makes people want to spill all their secrets even when he’s frowning. They’re not super noticeable at first, their shadowed by his usually creased eyebrows and the sharp lines that make up the rest of his features. But the wrinkles from laughter in the corners, the warmth of them, the slight shift in colour when the light hits, make it impossible for you to look away once you really see them.

✋ - Definitely rough, but in recent years he’s started trying to use more mosturiser and skincare products in general. There’s a few old scars on his fingers from when he was a teenager, and they’re just generally sun-worn and covered in old marks. But that’s not to say they’re not gentle. He’s very careful with his grip and playing music for years has made him very nimble. His nails are usually pretty short, anything too long and he starts bugging out over things getting stuck under them, even if nothing ever does. And there’s usually some couple week old, chipped nail polish on them from when Marco or Ty manage to get to him.

🦵 - He’s relatively strong. He’s lifted heavy stuff since he was a teenager when stocking at his various restaurant jobs, so there’s some muscle under there. He has a traditional sleeve that he’s always particular about covering with sunscreen, but can’t usually be bothered to do anywhere else. So he has freckles and sun marks on the rest of him. For mannerisms, he taps his fingers to certain songs, running through whatever melody is currently stuck in his head.

👄 - He doesn’t smile much, at least not the kind where you can see his teeth or the little dimple on one side. He’s always trying to hide it, because it’s the most inappropriate or ridiculous jokes that make him laugh, and he doesn’t want to give his friends the satisfaction. He chews the inside of his cheek when he gets nervous, but has been trying to stop since his ex used to get annoyed by it.

👤 - He’s pretty lucky in that he never had bad acne. He’d get a zit here or there, but never had to stress about it. He has a few scars from bad ideas - he seems to be drawn to people that have many of those - and the tattoo sleeve. His skin is pretty dry, would crack when the weather got hot, which was what initially started the skin care, but then he ended up liking how it looked as well as how it felt.

💇 - He changes his hair quite often. Colours-wise, he tends to favour blue, black, and like an ombre to blonde, but he’s done a whole bunch. Different reds, pinks, purple, green, anything Marco has in their bathroom. Style-wise, he likes having it long but out of his face, so cornrows, various braids, often tied back, and he had dreads for a while when he was younger, just hasn’t grown them back out.

🦷 - He has one really crooked tooth that he used to be insecure about, but he started getting over it in his 20s, when he just didn’t want to care too much. He has a lot of coffee stains and somehow always seemed to be complaining about getting a cavity filled, but when he started taking care of his skin he started brushing and flossing more too.

👖 - Short sleeves, tank tops, and ripped jeans. He’s pretty simple. Fashion just never caught his eye the way hair did, and good clothes were always made to seem too expensive, so he found what clothes were comfortable and stuck with it. He has a corduroy jacket that he wears all the time to the amusement of his mates, but he loves it anyway. He has cross earrings that he wears a lot, he just likes the way they glittered, and sometimes Yasmin buys him other pairs. His favourites are this hanging chain type one and a pair of hoops that Ty gave him. He only wears the hoops on special occasions.

👀 - Hair, especially when it’s a bright colour. He’s very particular about it regardless, but bright teal tends to catch eyes lol

🪞 - He’s never put much thought into it. His body is his body, no point getting worked up over it. He was a pretty scrawny kid, and that changed in his 20s, leading to his beloved dad bod. If he cared more about his body, he wouldn’t have gotten anything done, that’s at least how he sees it. But he’s definitely become more confident as he got older and settled more into himself, like in his style and just general demeanor. He’s proud of who he’s become, and he’s become that person with the appearance he already had.

[roleplaylogs]

Grofflin

A nice Grofflin RP where Jon goes to visit Lin in Puerto Rico

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like Jamilton, Whamilton, Hamilton RPF, and grofflin.

You: [1.29am] I miss you. LMM

Stranger: It’s late, Lin, you doing ok? I miss you, too. JG

You: Yeah, I just miss you! LMM How are you doing? LMM

Stranger: I’m alright, glad you’re not feeling incredibly sad or whatever. JG

Stranger: I’ve been awake far too long, ugh. JG

You: I mean, I'm putting on a brave face, but I'm not like incredibly sad, more mediocre sad. LMM But I'd rather talk about you. Insomnia? LMM

Stranger: Funny, I’d rather talk about you. But you’ll end up telling me eventually, I’m sure. JG

Stranger: Definite insomnia tinged with the usual anxiety. I think I miss the stage. JG

You: I miss the stage with you on it. LMM

Stranger: Yeah? I miss spending time with you in general, but especially on and around stage. JG

You: We were so good together in the play. LMM

Stranger: We really were, even if we didn’t really interact. I really enjoyed comndeering your dressing room. JG

You: Some of my best memories from the show was hanging out in that dressing room with you. LMM

Stranger: If you wanted to come all the way out to Pittsburgh you can come hang out in my trailer with me. JG

You: I wish I could, Papi, but I just flew out to PR. LMM

Stranger: You’re in the Motherland and you’re moderately sad? Lin, sweet thing, what’s up? I’d come down to you but we’re filming all week. JG

You: I don't know, maybe I'm just in a funk. My family are all still in NY and I'm in a boujee hotel room that just feels weirdly sterile and I miss you so bad. LMM

Stranger: Sounds kinda funky, yeah. V didn’t come? JG

You: No, we're not doing so great at the moment. LMM

Stranger: Ahhh, I’m sorry to hear that, really. I... let me check my schedule, alright? I might be able to sneak out of here. JG

You: Really? I can get you on a plane whenever you need, first class. LMM

Stranger: Really really. I miss the hell out of you and it seems you need some good old cheering up. You don’t have to do that, boo. JG

You: I know I don't, but I want to. I'm dragging your working ass out of the country, I'm gonna do it in style. LMM

Stranger: I am 1000% volunteering to leave the cold as fuck Pennsylvania city to come see you in Puerto Rico. No dragging required. But I know arguing with you is pointless... JG

You: Good, glad we got that sorted. LMM When can I book the flight for? Can they change your filming schedule? LMM

Stranger: (Delayed) So, we can finish up my stuff for the week tomorrow, and I can have til next Tuesday. So a week? That’s not bad. JG

You: A whole week? Awesome! That's great! Oh man, I'm so happy now. LMM You can help me go through my lines for the PR play! I can assure you I have forgotten every Ham lyric. LMM

Stranger: Lucky for you, I have forgotten NONE of them. We’ll get you all rehearsed and happy. JG

You: God, I'm so scared I'm gonna be shitty now. You gotta be ruthless with me, train me up again. LMM

Stranger: There is no way you’d be shitty, Lin. What with all that Disney training I’m sure you’re a better dancer. I’ll get you in top Ham shape, no problem. JG

You: Oh my god, it really put me through my paces, I've never been fitter. If you squint, and if I really suck in, you can kinda see abs. LMM

Stranger: !!! I’m going to touch them, you know that, right? JG

You: I mean, I've got no one else to show them off to. LMM The dad bod is still and always will be here, just a little fitter. I'm also a way better singer now, so, we can thank Disney and their expensive ass singing lessons for that too. LMM

You: ((Brb real quick I gotta go put some food in! Might be like ten mins))

Stranger: ((Alright!))

Stranger: You can show off to me when’re you like, Lin. I mean it. Just go full on showboat like Daveed. JG

Stranger: I love you just the way you are but the tiny improvements will only make you stronger. More formidable. I definitely cried in Poppins Returns because of you, by the way. JG

You: No one can showboat like Daveed, don't be silly. LMM You did? Fuck, that means so much to me. I tried so hard and I'm so proud of that, I'm so glad you like it. It's a love letter to the first movie, which I adored. LMM

Stranger: I know, I know but you could try! Just never put a shirt on and pretend you aren’t attractive. JG

Stranger: I did. Cried three separate times, but most of it was because I was so so proud of you. You did so well, Lin! The lamp lighters scene, oh my god. JG

You: Ha, I don't have to pretend. LMM God, you know that was a whole week of filming? Just that scene there? It's the most exhausted I've ever been but so worth it. LMM

Stranger: Shush, you’re so handsome and charismatic. JG

Stranger: Oh, I believe it. It was beautiful and magical and I want to watch you on that lamp post like 24/7. JG

You: Not a patch on you, you handsome devil! LMM I made so many pole dancing jokes, I'm almost embarrassed. LMM

Stranger: Oh, stop that. Let me admire you! JG

Stranger: Ha, I know you very well. I’m sure that almost is the key word there. JG

You: I've never made Em laugh so much than when we were filming for that scene, we had a blast. LMM God. It's like that was a high I'm now crashing down from. LMM

Stranger: G o d, you call Emily Blunt Em, I am JEALOUS. JG

Stranger: We’ll get you back up on that crest, I promise. Ham in PR is such a huge deal. JG

You: You gotta meet her sometime, I will set it up, she's awesome. I also met Jon Krasinski and almost died, that man is a confirmed god and he and Em are perfect together. LMM You're right. I just need my personal hypeman by my side. LMM

Stranger: You shut up right now, I’ll just end up quoting the entirety of Devil Wears Prada right into her glorious face. I need to meet her. JG

Stranger: You’ll have me for a week, but I’ll always hype you, Lin. You’re legitimately the most talented, kind, bright man I know. JG

You: I'll make it happen. LMM Oh, stop it. I wouldn't be where I am without the support of you, you mean the absolute world to me. LMM

Stranger: I knew I loved you for a reason ;) JG

Stranger: You’d be so great without me, you’ve got a team of hypemen, Burr I will always be the loudest. JG

You: Hell yeah you will. God, I can't wait to see your ridiculously cute face and smush it in my hands. LMM

Stranger: Oh, it’s ready to be smushed, hasn’t happened in far too long. JG

You: You got that right, I'm gonna smush you so hard. LMM Which, in hindsight, sounds incredibly inappropriate. LMM

Stranger: ... I’m not mad about it. JG

You: Me neither. Groffsauce so cuuuuute. LMM

Stranger: Why are all the best men tragically straight? Ugh. JG

You: Uh. LMM Yo. LMM You talking about me? LMM

Stranger: You, Daveed, every other straight guy in theatre. JG

You: Oh my god, this is priceless. LMM You think I'm straight? LMM

Stranger: ... ok, so I’m wrong, then. How wrong am I? JG

You: Super wrong. I'm super not straight. LMM

Stranger: The whole V thing threw me off. I mean the willingness to throw yourself at me should’ve been a clue but that was more wishful thinking. JG

You: Yeah, I guess the whole married to a woman thing does make me seem a bit straight. But I am a theatre kid, so... LMM Remember when I made that Heights promo with you in it? I had the biggest crush on you. LMM

Stranger: So you’re bi, or bi adjacent, then. That’s... wow. Ok, my worldview just shifted a little. JG

Stranger: I remember that so well, it was so damn entertaining and cute. I’ve been practically wrapped around your finger since. JG

You: Yeah, I just don't really care about gender, I'm just attracted to everyone, basically. LMM Thank god, because I wrote KG3 for you. LMM

Stranger: Yeah, yeah that makes so much more sense. Either way you were out of my reach. JG

Stranger: You did not — really?? Why didn’t you tell me that before? JG

You: I swear I've mentioned that before. You know, like I wrote GWash for Chris? You were in mind already when I was writing. LMM

Stranger: I know you wrote Washington for Chris, but also damn. I guess it just blows my mind every time I hear you say it?? JG

You: Well, yeah. I had a big ass gay crush on you at that point, so why wouldn't I try and rope you in to my project? LMM

Stranger: Well, fuck. How could I say no to you, Lin? It’s literally impossible. With those big, bright eyes and all of those words. JG

You: Ha, insert say no to this reference here. LMM You think my eyes are big and bright? Aww, shucks, ya making me blush! LMM

Stranger: You’ve got such doe eyes, and those lashes, Lin. I’d murder someone for lashes like that. But you’re incredibly handsome. JG

You: Don't do murder, that's bad. LMM [delay] Well, your uh, flight is booked! LMM

Stranger: I’m not going to murder... maybe. JG

Stranger: Oh, thank you! You really are too much. JG

You: I know, I know. Get told it on the daily. LMM I'll get a car to pick you up from the airport (not because I'm lazy but I don't fancy getting mobbed if I come meet you). LMM

Stranger: I don’t blame you not wanting to get mobbed. Am I going to be staying with you? JG

You: Of course. This is a big suite, it's got two bedrooms! LMM

Stranger: Then you’ll see me in the suite! We’ll have a lot of fun practicing your lines at all hours. JG

You: And staying up watching old movie musicals like we're at a slumber party. LMM

Stranger: Too bad I can’t braid your hair anymore. JG

You: You were always so good at that. LMM Face masks though...! LMM

Stranger: It’s the Pennsylvania Dutch in me. JG

Stranger: Face masks! And manicures. Bet your nail beds are a mess. JG

You: They are, you gotta sort them out. LMM Anyway, it's late, we should sleep. But I will see you at my crazy fancy suite. LMM

Stranger: I’ll fix ‘em up. But ok, yes. Sleep. I’ll see you in a handful of hours! JG

You: Lin definitely didn't sleep much that night, far too excited to see Jon the next day. He worked a little the next morning, keeping an eye on the flight tracker for Jon's plane so he knew when it arrived safe, and got a driver to go pick him up. So, the fame might have changed him a little, but it was worth it. He looked up when he heard the key card he'd had given to Jon at the front desk clicked in the door and got up, a huge grin on his face. "Hey! It's my favourite heartthrob!" He said, running over and practically jumping at the taller man to hug him.

Stranger: Jon definitely didn’t sleep until he was on the plane — thankfully he was one of the lucky ones who could conk out on flights — he was just too excited to see Lin. There were nerves festering in the pit of his stomach that he had long since thought dead. As if getting confirmation that Lin wasn’t straight changed anything between them. It did not, but he couldn’t get those damn butterflies to settle down as he keyed his way into the suite. He didn’t have a moment to even set his bags down before he had to drop one in order to huddle Lin against him so they didn’t topple over. He was laughing brightly, unable to help it, as he carelessly dropped the rest of this things to get both arms around the ball of energy. “Hello to you too, Lin! Let me get in here,” he said, still laughing. But it was easy to shuffle them a few steps into the suite so the door could close behind him. “Look at you,” Jon sighed, getting both hands up onto Lin’s shoulders. “You look so good, lithe. Like you have a whisper of abs.”

You: It was so crazy that Jon was here, and Lin could actually hug him, it was like a dream come true. He'd really needed someone or the next few weeks would have been unbearable. He beamed up at him as Jon looked at him, nothing but true, unfiltered happiness in his eyes. "I do! If I suck in and you squint!" He said, before hugging him again. "God, you've like, totally beefed out. Mindhunter really did a number on you, huh? Look at how in shape we both are, I'm so proud," he rambled on.

Stranger: “Beefed out, god yes please keep telling me that. They have me working out far too much for my liking, but if you like it then we’re good.” Jon couldn’t help but get a little lost in the sound of Lin’s voice and the bright spark in his eyes. He ducked a little so he could duck his head to Lin’s shoulder. “You look great, so great. A sight for sore eyes, that’s for sure. Pittsburgh is so dull especially because it doesn’t have your spark.”

You: Lin hugged him tight, pressing his face against Jon's hair for a moment. God, he smelled good. Focus. "Are we just gonna compliment each other for the whole week? Because I am so good with that!" He pulled away eventually and picked up a few of Jon's bags. "There we go, I'll show you to your room, kind sir," he put on his English accent that he now had perfected from Poppins. "Follow me!" He went off in the direction of the other bedroom next to his.

Stranger: Jon couldn’t stop laughing, the happiness just pouring out of him from being close to Lin again. “I could spend all damn day telling you how awesome you are.” Gathering up his other things, he trailed after Lin slowly, looking around the suite with open wonder. “Listen, if you don’t talk like that all day, I’m going to be so disappointed.” Tucking his bags into the closet in the bedroom, Jon tossed his keys and wallet onto dresser and immediately went to the window to get a look at the view. “This is actual paradise, I hope you know.”

You: Lin put his bags down on the bed before going to stand beside him at the window. "I know, right?" He sighed happily. "Mi pais es tan hermoso," he said fondly, before looking up at Jon. "That means, my country is so beautiful. Now, you gotta make a choice. Jack the lamplighter voice, or Puerto Rican Lin!" He joked, rolling his Rs in an exaggerated fashion.

Stranger: Jon reeled Lin into his side pretty easily, his arm settling around his shoulders. “I don’t honestly care which Lin I get because I still get you regardless. But now I know now why you love this island so much.” Leaning toward the window, as if that would get him closer to the view of the sea, Jon was beaming. “How is this place even real? I’ll have to go exploring.”

You: Lin leaned easily against him, fitting snugly against his body. Oh man, this was nice. "I'll have to take you on a tour," he promised, looking up at the wonder on Jon's face rather than the view. It was arguably more beautiful. Not arguably. Factually. "But I wanna just hang out with you first for a while. Order room service, maybe a bottle of champagne to celebrate..."

Stranger: This closeness was what he had missed the most about Lin — about how well they fit together and how warm Lin was. Turning his face to look at him, he was only a littler surprised to find Lin already looking at him. A slight blush overtook his face and he laughed quietly. “You can give me a tour tomorrow morning. I am so down for staying in and seeing champagne-happy Lin.”

You: "I am such a lightweight now, I hope you're prepared to handle me!" Lin grinned and pulled away from his side, only to grab his hand. He didn't want to be separated from him, and honestly, he was a little touch starved at present. He grabbed a menu that Jon could read over his shoulder, practically leaning back so Jon's chest was pressed against his back. Was it hot in there? "What are you feelin?" He asked, reading over the desserts. He had a sweet tooth.

Stranger: “I am well-versed in corralling drunk friends. Besides, you’re easy,” Jon winked overly dramatically and happily held onto Lin’s hand. The contact was beyond nice and he practically wrapped himself around Lin as they perused the menu. “I’m feeling being indulgent. No gym time, no strict diet. Just get a bunch to share?” His free hand settled idly over Lin’s hip, holding him close as if he was afraid Lin would just disappear.

You: Lin grinned when he felt Jon’s hand settling on to his hip, almost shivering at the contact. “Sounds perfect.” He pulled Jon over to the sofa where the phone was, sitting down, half in Jon’s lap as he reeled off a massive order of room service, a bottle of champagne, and he checked their mini bar was suitably stocked as well.

Stranger: Jon handled Lin into laying down on the couch beside him, his head landing in his lap. Not that it took too much convincing really. It was always easy to get Lin where he wanted him. There it was easier to run his fingers through his short hair. “This is going to be a great night, just you and me. Running lines for the play?” It was like they hadn’t spent weeks and months apart.

You: Lin grinned up at Jon when he put the phone down, gazing into his pretty eyes. “Oh yeah, just like the old days,” he said. “Aren’t you just so excited for the play? I wonder if they’ll make us stage kiss!” He put on a high school voice, bringing up their inside joke from years ago.

Stranger: Jon burst out laughing before getting himself under control. “God, what if they make us stage kiss in the play?” Jon whispered, though fighting not to giggle again. He failed. “It’s been a while since you kiss-bombed me.”

You: “I know! Oh, I miss my surprise kissing you for the internet,” Lin sighed happily. “I bet twitter misses it. I know I sure do!” He’d always made excuses before to kiss him, because he’d just always wanted to. Jon just thought it was a prank, before. Lin wished things were different.

Stranger: “You ever just want to kiss me just to kiss me?” Jon asked after a prolonged moment of silence. Looking down at Lin — bright eyed and so handsome — Jon didn’t even bother keeping his thoughts to himself. “I missed you, really. And I had been so convinced that I was living in some weird limbo with you being out of reach but not really out of reach now, are you?” He babbled a little, the words just sort of not stopping.

You: The tone changed and Lin’s expression softened, listening to Jon. “Maybe I was out of reach for a while,” he said quietly, his heart pounding hard in his chest. “But I’ve wanted to kiss you period for years,” he confessed.

Stranger: Pushing Lin’s hair away from his forehead, Jon just kept touching him idly. “You should do it, then, if you’d still like to. I’d like it a lot.” His hands were shaking even as he threaded his fingers through that soft, thick hair.

You: “Yeah?” Lin whispered, shivering as Jon touched him. “I think I’d like that too.” He leaned up from Jon’s lap (using his newfound abs), reaching up to put his hand on the side of his neck. He looked at him for just a moment, before leaning in and pressing their lips together.

Stranger: It was like Lin was moving in slow motion, Jon could hardly believe it. He shifted just enough to make it easier on Lin to kiss him. It was tentative and sweet and Jon’s heart was about to leap out of his chest and he was sure Lin could feel it. Curling his hand around the back of Lin’s head, Jon encouraged the kiss to deepen.

You: Lin closed his eyes as they kissed, just feeling how nice and sweet it was to be kissing him properly, and not for some prank. He made a quiet noise as it started to deepen, as full of noise as ever. He couldn’t keep quiet at any aspect of his life. He melted against Jon’s chest, allowing the kiss to deepen even further, pressing his tongue against the seam of Jon’s plump lips.

-- And then it got a little NSFW that I won’t post here -- 

[pscottm]

According to Rich’s Bumble profile, he was fit, with a head of mussed silver curls, divorced and, like me, almost an empty nester. At 58, I was still trying to find my romantic footing after the agonizing end of a 35-year marriage.

I had cried a lot that summer. Now I was ready for someone new.

As we strove to match schedules, Rich’s rapid-fire texts were refreshingly self-deprecating. “If you’re looking for a bad boy,” he wrote, “I don’t think you’ll like me.” He described his fitness level as “right in that Goldilocks zone between gym rat and dad bod.”

When we met in person, I thought he looked attractive enough, though, yes, a bit dad-like. And he was an exceptional listener: attentive and full of questions, if a little too eager to please.

When I mentioned my difficult relationship with my mother, he said, “Just like my mother. You’ve heard the term borderline?”

When I described being raised by my long-suffering immigrant grandparents, he said, “I had those same adorable Jewish grandparents. They got me through my crappy childhood.”

I had been charmed by his texts, but in person I was wearying of what seemed like his forgone conclusion — that we were already a match.

Nevertheless, I found myself somewhat reluctantly agreeing to a second date. Rich seemed like a man I might enjoy chatting with at a party, then never see again. Could I articulate why? Did it matter?

For decades I had clung to a kernel of dating wisdom gleaned from an encounter gone wrong. I had married so young, at 23, that my courtship savvy approached nil. That “encounter gone wrong” was the only date I went on while my husband and I had a 14-month separation nearly a decade into our marriage. My husband had moved out of our apartment to live in his work space. A lonely standoff followed, during which I cried myself to sleep and consulted divorce lawyers.

Friends urged me to consider the back pages of The New York Press, known for its lively personals section catering to singles who saw themselves as hip or a little nonstandard. I had picked up the paper then put it down, reluctant to contact a stranger. Then one guy’s ad grabbed my attention: “If you’re smart, verbal, good-looking, emotionally unencumbered, witty, happy in work, close to friends, and you loved ‘The Singing Detective,’ we’re similar. I’m 37.”

I was 34, unencumbered, close to friends, and had just started an adjunct teaching job I was actually happy about. And I loved “The Singing Detective,” a then-edgy TV series featuring depression-era dance hall numbers and a subplot involving psoriasis. As for looks and wit — well, those were subjective.

I responded. We agreed to meet a few days later at the Peacock Cafe on Greenwich Avenue.

The man awaiting me turned out to be surprisingly attractive, with strong shoulders. He was dressed casually but had made an effort. Afterward, when describing this encounter — my cautionary tale — I couldn’t remember his name or profession. His looks, other than high cheekbones and a thatch of dark curls, were a blur to me. What I retained was the rigid, puzzling format of our interaction.

Doggedly, like a professional interviewer, he kept bringing our conversation around to his purpose, which was, it seemed, to verify that I truly loved “The Singing Detective.” And he seemed oddly miffed that I liked other favorite artists of his: Elvis Costello, Leonard Cohen.

When I effused about the songwriters, films and plays he kept invoking, he would freeze, looking crestfallen. Why, since we shared the same taste? Did he think I was lying, intentionally mirroring him to make us seem compatible?

When it was time to leave, we loitered in the chilly dusk. Would he say he had enjoyed himself and hoped to see me again? He didn’t, and I walked to my subway confused, a bit furious.

Two days later, he called, sounding nervous, to invite me to a Spalding Gray show I was dying to see. But I had made up my mind: Anyone who had been that off-putting on a first date wasn’t getting a second. To reject him as painlessly as possible, I ad-libbed: I was sorry, but in the last 48 hours I had decided to reconcile with my husband. He sounded nonplused and we hung up.

For years afterward, when I was back with my husband, girlfriends (who were themselves pursuing mates) had to hear me tell the story of that most perplexing date, a cautionary tale about trusting your first take, which boiled down to: If you’re not excited about seeing a guy a second time, cut your losses. Move on.

More than two decades later, here I was breaking my rule, agreeing to go out on a second date when the first hadn’t done anything for me. And sure enough, this one was falling flat too. We weren’t running out of topics, but our chat about the prescience of “The Handmaid’s Tale,” our children’s endless college tours and the decline of the subway, felt generic.

Not that there was anything off about Rich, an intelligent, affable guy who simply wasn’t as exciting as his Bumble persona. But since I was feeling no chemistry, why waste time? At our age, who has time to waste?

I restlessly veered to a stock question: “Have you done much online dating?”

“Yes, since my divorce,” he said. “And I met my ex through an ad, pre-internet, in The New York Press. Which you may not have heard of.”

“Hah!” I said. “Actually, I went on my worst date of my life thanks to that newspaper.” And I told him about the man who seemed to want to reject me because we had so much in common, so aversive in body language and expression that I never wanted to see him again. “When he called to ask me out for a second date, to go see a Spalding Gray show, I hadn’t prepared an excuse, so I pretended I was getting back together with my husband.”

“You made that up?” Rich said, seeming bothered.

“But it turned out to be true!” I said. “Not long after, my ex and I did agree to try again. So, happy ending, for a while, at least. Though I’m sorry I missed Spalding Gray.”

I laughed, but Rich wasn’t laughing.

“That may have been me,” he said.

“Are you kidding?” I said. “I went on one New York Press date.” I studied him, sensing that something uncanny had just taken place. I searched for the brooding young man with dark hair and high cheekbones in Rich’s fuller face and silver curls. No, this Rich seemed too different in every way. “What are the odds?” I said.

“You’re probably right,” he said. “But I did keep a diary then. I’ll check it at home.”

When he kissed me good night, I lingered, still not feeling much chemistry. Then he disappeared down the hot subway stairs.

An hour later, he texted. “Where was this date?”

“The Peacock Cafe.”

“Definitely me,” he replied with a frowny face. He also texted me an image of the classified ad from back then, which he had saved.

I instantly recognized it.

“I liked you!” he texted. “A lot, actually. It’s in my journal. I wanted to see you again. Clearly, I was too much of a jerk to express it.”

I went quiet. I’m not superstitious, but I recognize fate (or the illusion of fate?) when I see it.

So I agreed to another date. This time, we kissed hello with almost ironic complicity. Our conversation in the thrumming tapas bar seemed, finally, less stilted. Afterward, Rich walked me home, and we wound up on my couch, reviewing our long-ago dating fiasco.

“I was trying to impress you,” he said. “I remember being intimidated by you, this pretty N.Y.U. professor.”

“I was an adjunct!”

“Well, I didn’t get that,” he said. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe you already knowing my references threatened me. It’s embarrassing. But here’s an upside: If I hadn’t been such an idiot then, we wouldn’t be sitting here now.”

“Because we’d be divorced?”

I had kicked off my sandals, and Rich reached for my foot to massage it, as if this were our longstanding habit. And then we began to talk, almost like old lovers, about the reasons for that failed first date more than two decades earlier — connecting, in other words, over our previous failure to connect.

On our next date, we carried a bottle of excellent wine to my bedroom to toast our good luck. That was two summers ago. We’re still seeing each other.

My new rule? Sometimes you can tell on a first date. Or sometimes it can take 24 years.

[mythcarved-archive-blog]

RULES.  repost , don’t  reblog  !    tag  10 TAGGED.   you know i’m a bitch who loves to steal memes. TAGGING. any of my crit role rp folks who want to do this

BASICS.

FULL  NAME : scanlan shorthalt NICKNAME :   scanman, shorty, the meat man, burt reynolds, kingslayer. AGE :   unknown ( somewhere between forty to one hundred years ) BIRTHDAY :  unknown LANGUAGE / S :  gnomish, common, marquesian. SEXUAL  ORIENTATION :  pansexual ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION :  biromantic RELATIONSHIP  STATUS :  single HOME  TOWN / AREA :  unknown CURRENT  HOME :  transient/ank’harel/whitestone/greyskull keep PROFESSION :  bard, tal’dorei high councilman, the meat man

PHYSICAL.

HAIR :  brown & kept long, usually tied back into a pony tail, save for the untamable cowlicks that stick up in front. he has some thick side burns too. EYES :  greyish/purple, large and bright (every time matt describes gnome eyes as beady i’m ready to FIGHT) FACE :  heart shaped / long. high cheek bones, defined jawline.  LIPS :  full but perpetually drawn back to reveal a toothy grin COMPLEXION :  he has very very very faint freckles but once he gets that marquesian tan they’re fairly prominent. BLEMISHES : aside from the cowlicks and scraggly facial hair, he is a vision of beauty. SCARS : deep grooves on the palms of both hands. several large and deep claw marks that reach from his torso to his stomach, courtesy of raishan. a small but plainly visible slash under his right eye. TATTOOS : a wide variety of nonsensical but sentimental tiny vintage tatts including but not limited to; a moustache on the inside his index finger, a sprig of juniper over his heart and a hand with it’s fingers crossed on the back of his neck. (he plans to get kaylie’s name tattoo’d in some gaudily fancy script eventually) HEIGHT : 3′5″ WEIGHT : roughly the weight of a small child, whatever that might be. BUILD : the definition of dad-bod. his stomach is pudgy and although there is definitely some muscle mass its still fairly flabby. if one looks hard enough theres some evidence of past malnutrition but most of it carries in his face. ALLERGIES : none. USUAL  HAIR  STYLE :  tied back and messy. USUAL  FACE  LOOK :  a perpetual grin that spells trouble and hides any characteristics deeper than ‘funny man and endless flirt’. USUAL  CLOTHING : extravagant and opulent. anything that gives away the fact that he’s got money and is maybe a little too self-preoccupied and it’s probably something purple or maroon. lots of ear piercings, six on each ear in fact. 

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR / S :  powerlessness, poverty, not being good enough, change, death/dying. ASPIRATION / S :  to be a good father / be a better person just in general POSITIVE  TRAITS : bold / charismatic / quick-witted / humorous / courageous NEGATIVE  TRAITS :  deceitful / salacious / reckless / arrogant / self-absorded MBTI :  esfp ZODIAC :  leo / scorpio i cant decide TEMPERAMENT :  sanguine / choleric (a healthy dose of both) SOUL  TYPE / S :   performer ANIMALS :  triceratops, dogs, rabbits. VICE  HABIT / S :  sexually careless, lies compulsively, theres also the drug habit... FAITH : until very recently, scanlan didn’t feel he had time for the gods. it was when he spent a year sorting himself out that he started to find some comfort in praying to sarenrae (the goddess of redemption). GHOSTS ? :  yes AFTERLIFE ? : no REINCARNATION ? : no ALIENS ? : yes POLITICAL  ALIGNMENT :  good people are good, bad people are bad. EDUCATION  LEVEL :  self taught, son.

FAMILY.

FATHER : vikol MOTHER : juniper SIBLINGS : none EXTENDED  FAMILY : kaylie shorthalt (daughter) NAME  MEANING / S :  ‘scandal’ or ‘contention’ HISTORICAL  CONNECTION ? : none

FAVORITES.

DEITY : sarenrae (mostly because of pike’s affiliation) HOLIDAY :  winter’s crest MONTH :  pfft SEASON : summer PLACE : greyskull keep / ank’harel / emon WEATHER :  warm but not humid, definitely prefers dry heat. SOUNDS : flute music, tavern ambience, the sound of a campfire crackling, his mother’s voice, pike’s laughter. SCENT / S : roses, patchouli, cinnamon TASTE / S : sweet stuff ! FEEL / S : physical contact of any sort / cuddling / hugs / more illicit physical acts, fabrics like silk or velvet, big cushiony soft pillows. ANIMAL / S :  dogs NUMBER :  69 bow chicka bow wow COLORS :  deep purples, gold, deep reds.

EXTRA.

TALENTS :  lying, singing, playing the flute or lute, flirting. BAD  AT : being honest, opening up to people, understanding people. TURN  ONS :  genuineness, sense of humor, equal parts strength and beauty, someone who can hit back whatever it is scanlan throws at them. TURN  OFFS :  nothing turns this little horn dog off  HOBBIES : shopping, singing / playing music, getting busy probably doesn’t count as a hobby but... TROPES :  i have many names, older than they look, sad clown, team dad, try not to die, really gets around AESTHETICS : scattered sheet music, floral printed fabrics, nudity just straight up nakedness, lightning and fire, intricately designed long swords or rapiers. QUOTES : 'you’re a scoundrel, scanlan shorthalt. it’s whats kept you alive.’ ‘you don’t leave your shit behind and keep going. you take it with you and the ones who stick around better get used to the smell.’

FC INFO.

MAIN  FC / S : hale applebaum ALT  FC / S : (i was using faceless icons of martin freeman as bilbo baggins but thats over) OLDER  FC / S :   YOUNGER  FC / S : VOICE  CLAIM / S : sam riegel GENDERBENT  FC / S :

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 :   if  you  could  write  your  character  your  way  in  their  own  movie ,   what  would  it  be  called ,  what  style  would  it  be  filmed  in ,  and  what  would  it  be  about ? A1 :  listen i’m already writing a fic about the year scanlan spent away from vox machina and the whole aesthetic i have for it is lord of the rings meets a knights tale Q2 :   what  would  their  soundtrack / score  sound  like ? A2 : literally the same exact music i’ve reblogged to this blog Q3 : why  did  you  start  writing  this  character ? A3 : because i wanted to rp a critical role character and scanlan’s my fave Q4 : what  first  attracted  you  to  this  character ? A4 : he’s my real dad. he raised me. actually, i just really like characters that are more than what they first seem AND i like comic relief characters. Q5 : describe  the  biggest  thing  you  dislike  about  your  muse. A5 : i’ve coached myself to be a better communicator of my feelings (thanks therapy) so it’s sometimes very frustrating watching scanlan do the exact opposite of that when it would literally solve 90% of his problems. also some of the earlier and skeevier bullshit he pulled with women. Q6 : what  do  you  have  in  common  with  your  muse ? A6 : i’m also forty seven layers of sad hidden under a very thick layer of unaffected goof Q7 : how  does  your  muse  feel  about  you ? A7 : idk but adopt me into your family, father. i’m already gay but if i have to get an undercut like lionel and kaylie, i will. Q8 : what  characters  does  your  muse  have  interesting  interactions  with ? A8 : canon wise; pike and vex / vax and grog and kaylie non-canon wise; i love seeing him interact with all the taakos Q9 : what  gives  you  inspiration  to  write  your  muse ? A9 :  new episodes, music, fanart/fics. Q10 : how  long  did  this  take  you  to  complete ? A10 : god it’s been in my drafts for two weeks now...

[captainurahara]

REALLY  LONG  CHARACTER  SURVEY. RULES.  repost ,   don’t  reblog  !    tag  ! good  luck  ! TAGGED.  @sakanxde TAGGING. @domininm @letsriddlemethislucifer @redbirdwandering and whoever else wants to. Also “tagging” my other blog for this ‘cause I wanna do it there too

BASICS.

FULL  NAME :  Kisuke Urahara NICKNAME :   Mr. Hat ’n Clogs, Mr. Urahara, Boss, Tenchou, Kisu, “that guy”, “you asshole” AGE :  400-something BIRTHDAY :  December 31st ETHNIC  GROUP : Mixed. Asian and Caucasian NATIONALITY :   Japanese/Swedish/Soul? (it’s hard to pick and I’m still developing a hc for it but he very much looks Northern European to me. So Swedish or Norwegian or something) LANGUAGE / S :   Japanese, probably dabbles in other languages but not very fluent in them SEXUAL  ORIENTATION :   Pansexual ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION :   Panromantic RELATIONSHIP  STATUS :   Depends on the verse CLASS :   Upper (developing hc for this) —> Exiled Criminal —> Upper. The Captain position is well respected. HOME  TOWN / AREA :    Shihoin Family Manor in the Seireitei CURRENT  HOME :   The Urahara Shop in Karakura Town PROFESSION :   Manager of the Urahara Shop

PHYSICAL.

HAIR : Short blond, always very messy, bangs hang in middle of face EYES :  Grey, can be different shades depending on the light. Has thin eyebrows NOSE :  long, slender, a bit pointy FACE :  Heart shaped with a pointy stubbled chin LIPS :  Thin (but very kissable~) COMPLEXION :  Fair BLEMISHES :   None SCARS :   None, but may get a few in future verses TATTOOS :  None  HEIGHT :   6′0″ WEIGHT :   152 lbs. BUILD :   When he’s in good shape he’s lean, almost a bit muscular (like in TBTP). But this isn’t always the case and in my main verse he has a dad bod FEATURES :  Very expressive eyes and eyebrows when they can be seen. Has stubble on his chin. Can easily be identified by his hair when he doesn’t have his hat on ALLERGIES :  None USUAL  HAIR  STYLE :   Messy, bangs in middle of face USUAL  FACE  LOOK :  Some sort of shady/mischievous expression, whether it be a smile or frown USUAL  CLOTHING :   Loose green pants and shirt, black haori, wooden clogs, and that silly but iconic white and green striped bucket hat. Also often carries his fan and cane. In TBTP he wears the usual Shinigami uniform. Owns more stylish clothes, both “men’s” and “women’s” clothing, that he usually doesn’t wear because it’s not comfortable enough for him. If it’s nighttime and you’re lucky you might catch him in his sleepwear which is just a light robe, or a heavier one in the colder months

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR / S :   Failure, losing loved ones ASPIRATION / S :   To make sure his life, and the world in general, runs smoothly POSITIVE  TRAITS :   Extremely Intelligent, Humorous, Helpful, Kind NEGATIVE  TRAITS :  Kind of a huge jerk, Manipulative, Deceptive, occasionally too harsh ZODIAC :   Capricorn TEMPERAMENT :    Phlegmatic SOUL  TYPE / S :   Scholar ANIMALS :   Fox VICE  HABIT / S :   Manipulation/Trickery FAITH :   Agnostic I guess? GHOSTS ? :   Yes AFTERLIFE ? :  Yes REINCARNATION ? :  Yes ALIENS ? :  Considers the possibility POLITICAL  ALIGNMENT :  Fuck the government, both Soul Society’s and the human world’s ECONOMIC  PREFERENCE :  Comfortable, not too rich or too poor SOCIOPOLITICAL  POSITION : N/A ? EDUCATION  LEVEL :   Academy Graduate. Could very easily get a college degree and graduate degree in the human world but chooses not to. Maybe one day if he gets bored enough...

FAMILY.

FATHER :   Alive. His name is Hitoshi. He’s Northern European. He’s stern but kind. Has not been in contact since exile. MOTHER :  Alive. Her name is Junko. She’s Japanese. She’s soft and bubbly. Has not been in contact since exile. SIBLINGS :  Yes, one. An older brother named Kota. He’s like Kisuke except more serious, less of a jerk, and not quite as gifted (which makes him a dreamboat honestly, he’s Kisuke minus the annoying stuff~). Has not been in contact since exile. EXTENDED  FAMILY :   None NAME  MEANING / S :   ? HISTORICAL  CONNECTION ? :  ?

FAVORITES.

BOOK :   Probably something science fiction. But also loves the Harry Potter series MOVIE :   Honestly? Star Wars SONG :   Anything classic rock or jazzy DEITY :   None HOLIDAY :   Halloween MONTH :  October SEASON :  Autumn PLACE :   The Urahara Shop WEATHER :   Rainy SOUND :  Money, rain, clogs SCENT / S :    Baked goods, rain, fruity smells TASTE / S :    Caramel, chocolate, anything sweet FEEL / S :   Warm fluffy fur of an animal ANIMAL / S : Cat NUMBER :  golden ratio/phi (1.6180339887...) COLORS :   Green

EXTRA.

TALENTS :   Science, math, planning, predicting, comedy, managing money, being an ass BAD  AT :   Grunt work, cooking, cleaning, hygiene, dealing with his emotions TURN  ONS :  Dirty talk, biting, teasing TURN  OFFS :   Crying, intense pain HOBBIES :  Reading, tinkering/building inventions, watching cat videos TROPES :   The Wonka AESTHETIC  TAGS : Green, stripes, science, cats GPOY  QUOTES :   “Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.” -Elbert Hubbard

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 :   if  you  could  write  your  character  your  way  in  their  own movie ,   what  would  it  be  called ,  what  style  would  it  be filmed  in ,  and  what  would  it  be  about ?   A1 : Honestly it’d just be a documentary of Kisuke cooing at and playing with cats for an hour and a half, then ends with him sleeping with a pile of small kittens. The perfect movie. 5 stars, 10/10, 100% on Rotten Tomatoes, have an academy award, “a joy to watch” claim critics.

Q2 :   what  would  their  soundtrack / score  sound  like ?           A2 :   Rock maybe? Idk.

Q3 :   why  did  you  start  writing  this  character ?       A3 :   Because he’s my favorite Bleach character and I love him lots.

Q4 :   what  first  attracted  you  to  this  character ?       A4 :   His mysteriousness and complexity. He’s also really funny and makes me laugh. Also tbh he’s just really hot. To me he’s one of the more unique characters in the series.

Q5 :   describe  the  biggest  thing  you  dislike  about  your  muse. A5 :    I don’t dislike anything about how I choose to portray him, but there are definitely some canon things that I greatly dislike about his character and would rather pretend they don’t exist *coughFINALARCcough*

Q6 :   what  do  you  have  in  common  with  your  muse ?       A6 :   We’re sarcastic, blonde, don’t care to dress up, and like science and cats

Q7 :   how  does  your  muse  feel  about  you ? A7 :   He doesn’t feel much about me as a person, but he doesn’t like that I’m in charge of him and is going to try to influence me however he can, for better or worse.

Q8 :   what  characters  does  your  muse  have  interesting  interactions  with ?       A8 :   Shinji (@sakanade), Aizen (@domininm), Jewel (@letsriddlemethislucifer), Ryuuji (@redbirdwandering), Ayame (@all-of-the-muses), Yoruichi (@shunkokami) and of course his double (@musehoardiing)

Q9 :   what  gives  you  inspiration  to  write  your  muse ?       A9 :   Kisuke himself, he’s such a wild and funny guy. My RP partners inspire me too. Reading about science, cats, and funny stuff gets me in the mood to write Kisuke.

Q10 :   how  long  did  this  take  you  to  complete ?       A10 :   An hour-ish

[primadonnatartuffe]

-- invincibleDetective [ID] began bothering primadonnaTartuffe [PT] at 14:26 --

ID: Hello, hello. Telephone ring.

PT: moshi moshi ryan desu.

ID: Well howdy there, lil lady. I don't suppose you're Ryan's answering AI.

PT: lmao sure. also im japanese for some reason.

ID: Pretty witty for an answering machine.

PT: pretty and witty... much like ryan herself amirite?

ID: The better to take her messages with.

ID: This is. A beautiful stranger.

PT: oh my... im highlighting this information. ryans weak for beautiful strangers.

PT: what kind of message can i relay for you beautiful stranger?

ID: Just ask if she's avaliable for the coffee we promised to meet up for.

ID: Donuts are included. With and without the holes.

PT: well i just so happen to have access to her schedule and it looks like she is good to go on that front.

PT: also highlighting the bit about holes. an important distinction.

PT: youll see her at the coffee can. ;)

ID: Important in the way I wouldn't dare mention when discussing donuts.

ID: Let her know I'm here already.

PT: shell be there momentarily~!

RYAN: *ryan pockets her comm as she enters the coffee can, peeking around until she spots jack. it's easy enough, he sticks out like a sore thumb. she ambles up behind him and plarps him right on the head, mussing with his hair.* here i am.

JACK: *Do not plarp. But also do. Jack accepts the muss of his hair, even if it sends his shades askew. All the more reason to pluck them off and tuck them into his shirt. Angles himself until he's facing her, grey eyes vacant but searching still.* Oh good.

JACK: Sometimes strangers get familiar. It happens.

RYAN: *stupid pretty grey eyes. at least she can stare and he won't know. she slips into a seat next to him.* i know how it is.

RYAN: who wouldnt wanna get familiar with all this? *gestures at self.*

RYAN: by the way im gesturing at my killer bod.

JACK: Might need to demonstrate a little better. Only so much left to the imagination. *makes himself snort and plucks a donut hole up from the cup. Offers it out to her and chews.* 'Nut hole?

RYAN: *grins and takes it* im always a sucker for a good nut.

RYAN: the hole kind or otherwise.

JACK: Take your pick. They're frosting filled. *Having too much straight-faced fun here. He should probably be stopped.*

RYAN: *SNRK* id have them no other way??? *nibbles a donut hole.*

RYAN: thinly veiled sexual innuendo aside... whats up?

JACK: Nothing much. Having some coffee. Having a donut. *munch munch* Spoke with Finn yesterday.

JACK: He was... a little bent out of shape.

RYAN: *frowns, pausing before she speaks again.* is he alright?

JACK: I think so. He wasn't at first. But he's alright. *sips him coffee.* Did you want to order something?

RYAN: huh? oh right. ill get something in a second.

RYAN: what was bugging him?

JACK: Something about... not feeling like he was fit to look after Sofia. *blinks and frowns, looking much like his more somber self.* He was ready to take her to the adoption agency.

RYAN: whaaaat? *frowns too* man come on finn.

RYAN: hes great with her.

RYAN: and its pretty obvious she makes him really happy too.

JACK: Whatever the case... it was also pretty obvious he needed to sit down and reevaluate what he was doing.

JACK: Good thing he did. *mutters* He would have had a lot of regrets, otherwise.

RYAN: yeah... thats a relief. *shakes her head.*

RYAN: poor finn... always going through something.

JACK: But he always makes it through. *offers her a smile* Have you talked with him lately?

RYAN: oh yeah. i was at his place the other day to meet sofia. *kinda zones out thinking about it.*

JACK: What did you think of little miss Helen of Troy? *sips again*

RYAN: *laughs at the nickname.* i fucking adore her.

JACK: Of course you do. It's all a part of the ploy.

RYAN: hey... i know all about that.

RYAN: im plotting to take her under my wing. who better to teach her how to weaponize her good looks than her cool aunt ryan?

JACK: Well. I would nominate cool Uncle Jack but I think I'll settle with teaching her poker.

RYAN: *snickers* thats an important skill too.

JACK: I daresay the two skills are interchangable.

RYAN: we oughta team up then. ;)

JACK: *Oblivious to the actual winks but hears it in her tone of voice.* Good thing I've got the best of both worlds. At least, I like to think I do.

JACK: Confidence is the true power in this world.

RYAN: agreed.

RYAN: for what its worth i still think youre pretty damn handsome.

RYAN: just a little disheveled. *snrk*

RYAN: but hey. same. not that you can tell.

JACK: The hair seems to be working better for you though. *reaches a hand out to feel* May I?

RYAN: go for it. *leans towards him, definitely not blushing.*

JACK: *gently paps his hand in the air around her hair. Nodding as he gets a visual for the style.* Looking good.

JACK: It must be the face frame.

RYAN: oh thanks. *grinning to herself.* i kinda miss my long hair though.

JACK: How long have you had it short for? *smiling too and withdraws his hand. Feeling for his coffee again.* Any special reason?

RYAN: ah hmm... *her tone changes a little, like it's not the most comfortable subject for some reason.* ive been keepin it short for a little less than a year?

RYAN: *shrugs* no particular reason except... maintaining all that hair was like WAY too much work for me at the time.

RYAN: actually i got kinda frustrated and just.

RYAN: chopped it off. there it go.

JACK: Kind of the inverted reasoning behind my own hairstyle choice. *Listens to the change in her tone.* At some point, I stopped caring.

RYAN: hey it works for you too. even if i wanna take a comb to it. *manages to smile again.*

JACK: You aren't the first one. I hear it drives my dad batshit. *returns her smile in kind* It's the small victories.

RYAN: *laughs about that.* aww i miss your dad. i should drop in on the fam sometime...

RYAN: reminds me tho. i talked to rory the other day. *nibbles another donut hole.*

JACK: He's back in town already? I heard he was on Earth... lucky rascal.

JACK: What did he say?

RYAN: heeee...

RYAN: was informing me that someone was looking for me.

RYAN: ...

RYAN: my ex girlfriend.

RYAN: kinda came as some shock to me cuz i thought she was through with my ass lol.

JACK: *raises his eyebrows* That does sound shocking.

JACK: And for Rory of all people to come across her. The chances?

RYAN: its fucking weird. haha.

RYAN: i guess she just wants to make sure i havent fallen off the wagon or whatever. which is cool. not really her problem but yeah. its cool.

JACK: Have you spoken with her?

RYAN: mmm... nooo...

JACK: *Ryan...* Are you going to?

RYAN: *DEEPEST SIGH OF ALL* yeah... i gotta.

RYAN: its just awkward!! we didnt leave each other on the best note.

RYAN: and im kind of exhausted from all this reconciling shit.

RYAN: ive barely even scratched the surface though. like ive still got this extensive list of people i need to see and shit i need to talk about. bluh.

JACK: Not that I'm one to push another on making those kinds of decisions. *hums* I just hope it works out for you... once you get around to it.

JACK: But I know it's difficult.

RYAN: i mean... to be fair its worked out pretty well for me so far even if its emotionally taxing.

RYAN: its just... scary too.

RYAN: taking that first step.

JACK: You deserve to. *says with a nod. Taps the lid of his coffee.* And if anything... here's to hoping your ex understands.

RYAN: yeah... *glances at him.* heres hoping.

JACK: *tilts his head, wondering.* Do you want to talk about her?

RYAN: *seems a little surprised by the question.* not really.

RYAN: ... okay kind of.

JACK: Maybe you can drop her a message. Without necessarily speaking, face to face.

RYAN: that could work.

RYAN: it might piss her off though if she came all the way to skaia.

RYAN: not that its super inconvenient but still.

RYAN: i dunno.

RYAN: shes really grouchy lol.

JACK: What I mean to say is... it can be a process. Building up to a face-to-face encounter.

RYAN: yeah... guess that could work. *takes a deep breath, trying to rationalize.*

JACK: *drums his fingers against the table* Grouchy, huh.

RYAN: haha yeah. real attitude problem.

RYAN: but she was always looking after my ass even if she had to make remarks all the time.

RYAN: i think ive got a thing for sass.

JACK: *finds himself smiling again* And her name? Don't think you mentioned it.

RYAN: *stop that smiling... illegal.* oh yeah.

RYAN: its nona.

JACK: I can't believe it... *appears astonished* Your celebrity couple name is Rynona.

RYAN: *snorts* catchy huh?

RYAN: but like i said... she got fed up with my bullshit.

JACK: Maybe she doesn't see it that way.

RYAN: haha maybe? i dunno how else she would though.

RYAN: i was making her miserable. *stares down at the table*

JACK: *Hesitates. Wondering how qualified he actually was to give her talk to her on this particular topic. It had to go either one of two ways. Hyper-qualified, or severely underqualified. Fuck.* What you were going through... wasn't you. The way your mind was.

JACK: All of that's happened already. It's done. What you're left with now is a perspective... but not facts. Or the whole truth.

JACK: Just remember... Nona has the other half of the experience.

RYAN: *looks up at him, brows knit as she listens. there's a lot of emotion bubbling up remembering her experiences, remembering all the damage she did, and there's something bittersweet hearing this kind of reassurance from jack. she hopes he believes those things about himself, too. he seems pretty well put together from her perspective, which makes it a little easier to put her restless thoughts to bed when they're usually so adamant to convince her that her own illnesses were all that she was.*

RYAN: *she reaches over to take his hand, giving it a squeeze. she can't help the sniffles coming on, but it's a blessing he can't see her watery blood shot eyes. very attractive.* when did you get so smart? geez.

RYAN: *exhales* thanks jackie.

JACK: *Some melancholy feeling spreads in his chest with the nickname. He hadn't heard it in a while and coupled with the gentle squeeze of her hand, the feeling twists in his heart like a corkscrew. Awful but thankfully, present.* I just...

JACK: Had to stop living like I was. Letting myself think how I was.

JACK: I'm not smarter. Just more aware of the poison.

RYAN: *smooths her thumb over his hand. she doesn't want to let go.* im really proud of you.

JACK: *the sad twists persist* That's my line.

RYAN: heheh... i just straight up plagiarized you.

RYAN: you deserve to hear it too.

JACK: *He exhales, doing away with the impulse to disagree.* ...Thank you.

JACK: But it's not my ex we were gabbing about.

RYAN: well?? i mean?? *TECHNICALLY... she snickers a little, but then reality hits her again when it occurs to her this might be a good time to segue into other things she needs to talk to people about... she should at least bring it up. put it on the table where they all can see it.*

RYAN: ... um.

RYAN: hey... on the note of... hashing things out with folks...

RYAN: ... now probably isnt the time and here probably isnt the place but... do you think we could??

RYAN: well.

RYAN: you know...

RYAN: urgh. *DEEP BREATH.* can we talk about what happened between us?

RYAN: sometime?

JACK: *He's blind, Ryan. Every place looks the same to Jack. But still he blinks, acutely aware of their hands still touching. He would glance down at them if he could.* Talk about it... *echoes, feeling the uncertainty creeping on him.*

JACK: We can talk. Any time.

RYAN: *WELL SHE'S NOT BLIND. nor is she blind to the unease. it's difficult for her too.* any time??? okay... cool.

RYAN: thats good to know.

JACK: *Unconsciously, he feels his hand withdrawing again.* Sorry. I was just...

JACK: Never completely sure what I would say.

RYAN: yeah i mean... me neither. *feels him pulling away and awkwardly retracts her hand as well.*

RYAN: i just thought it might be... helpful? maybe.

RYAN: it might be helpful for me.

RYAN: but i dont know about you.

RYAN: ... i know were okay but theres still a lot weighing on my mind.

RYAN: there are a lot of...

RYAN: ????

RYAN: feelings?

RYAN: in my feeling place.

RYAN: ... for fucks sake.

JACK: *Despite his hesitation, he does nod. Chuckling weakly.* Feelings in the feeling place. An accurate way to describe it.

JACK: In all honesty, I'm not much better than you about it.

RYAN: *laughs too, nervously.* cool. in that case maybe we can like... flounder through the conversation together.

JACK: Ideally, that's how I would execute the thing.

RYAN: alright so weve got a game plan.

JACK: More or less. *sighs, trying not to let some stray thoughts snag him into a loop of things.* But...

JACK: You know I don't hold anything against you. Right? *frowns into some distance* Everything that happened... came out of the circumstance.

JACK: The timing was bad... everything... but the feelings were bad.

RYAN: i-- *swallows, her expression softening.* yeah i know.

RYAN: like... i /know/ but i guess i still... worry about it.

JACK: Why? *eyes flicker to her as if he can really see her for a second. But the look dissolves away soon enough.*

RYAN: *plays with the donut hole cup, shrugging. she didn't notice him looking at her.* sometimes i worry that im... too much for people to handle.

RYAN: when you were already going through so much.

RYAN: like realistically i know it wasnt my fault? we both had our shit.

RYAN: but i still wish i couldve helped more. i didnt wanna drag you down i wanted-- to work through it with you. *rubs at her eyes with her palm.* i dont feel that way very often?? even now.

RYAN: its... probably dumb to dwell on it. im trying not to.

JACK: *closes his eyes, letting himself card through the blink of memories. Anything he could remember in the dull, dreary haze he lived in before.* It's not dumb to dwell on it. I broke up with us... feeling as if I was fulfilling the failure I had set us out for.

JACK: It was wrong to enter the relationship like that. But I wanted so fucking desperately to feel like I could have something for myself. But I was wrong.

JACK: I never felt like I deserved you. So us... the relationship... was lost long before I could even let myself have it.

JACK: That was my mistake.

JACK: Not yours.

RYAN: *it's a lot to process, and she's quiet while she does so. it hurts to know she really had been shut out from the beginning, but it makes sense, and she knows as much as she wanted to open up to him too, she didn't know how.*

RYAN: jack...

RYAN: i still-- *swallows down her own words. rephrases.*

RYAN: i miss you.

JACK: *There's a tightness in his throat, but Jack doesn't let it get in the way of what he's trying to say. If anything, he smiles. Weary for the world.* I miss... being able to make you laugh just by being around.

JACK: If I'm nothing else. I'd like to be that again.

RYAN: *catches a couple tears that manage to fall, a watery laugh tumbling out of her.* of course you can baby. you always were.

RYAN: nothing could change the fact that you just...

RYAN: make me really happy.

JACK: Then I'm glad. *Effortlessly it seems, he finds her hand again.* I don't need anything else.

RYAN: *tangles her hand up in his, holding them up to her cheek for something to rest against. she shuts her eyes, making no attempt to stop her tears now.* me too.

JACK: *It's easier to focus on the stream of her tears than the well threatening to press from his own. But he lets his hand linger.* I can't say for sure. But you're probably smudging your make-up.

RYAN: *giggles softly, huffing a relieved sigh.* i dont care.

JACK: Fine by me.

JACK: Can't exactly tell the difference.

RYAN: *nuzzles against his hand.* if anything it adds to the recovering burn out aesthetic i got going on right now. you know im always a slut for Aesthetic.

JACK: Hey. Same here. *uses the free hand to skirt the shades onto himself.*

RYAN: hahah fuck. we look like we came out of a quentin tarantino movie or some shit.

JACK: Now that's what I call aesthetic. *sits there a moment contemplating.* Hm.

JACK: I wonder.

JACK: Did you go on many dates besides Nona?

RYAN: dates? nah... not really.

RYAN: fucked around plenty before her but uh.

RYAN: even with her we just kinda fell into it.

JACK: Bad to the bone. *but he sounds admiring.* Can't say I had the same luck.

JACK: Must have been the summer of crocs.

RYAN: oh jesus.

RYAN: please tell me that phase has passed.

JACK: It's hard to say. I don't know what my shoes look like nowadays.

RYAN: then you wont notice when i banish them to the shadow realm.

JACK: Unfortunately not.

RYAN: a win win for everybody. *grins*

RYAN: poor jackie tho... hes overdue for a hot date.

JACK: I'm just one guy. Living in a dark sexually frustrated world.

JACK: Surprised I made it this far.

RYAN: you cant even see the sexy babes all around you?? i cant being to imagine how difficult that must be.

RYAN: especially when the sexiest babe of them all is right in front of you.

JACK: With a voice that can raise the dead. *nods knowingly* Among other things.

JACK: This is the part where you sensually whisper, "Yard sard."

RYAN: fuck.

RYAN: do i make your yard sard????

JACK: My yard is apeshit bananas sard.

JACK: Here let me just... *takes out his comm...*

RYAN: *peeps over his shoulder curiously.* ... oh my god.

RYAN: so youre putting out a personal ad now huh?

JACK: Just as I suspected. *places the comm right at her.* Nothing.

RYAN: *TYPING WITH HER OTHER HAND* wow what a bummer.

RYAN: *snrks againt jack's shoulder at him teasing finn. a national pass time.*

JACK: *Honestly.* Finn is a national treasure.

RYAN: love that boy.

JACK: Gotta.

RYAN: *softly singing milkshake now.*

JACK: *snickering at all his own stupid jokes. An excellent use of his time.*

RYAN: *aww. he's so cute when he's smiling and having a good time. it's so nice to see. don't mind her if she just keeps admiring him while leaned against him.*

JACK: There's that. *stows the comm away in his shirt pocket.* Remind me to try again later.

RYAN: you got it.

RYAN: ill just have to keep you company until you can a response.

RYAN: **get?? wtf are my typos today

JACK: The ultimate wingman.

RYAN: im actually a really shitty wingman as i tend to draw all the attention to myself so... sorry in advance.

JACK: Wow. *sounds bemused*

JACK: I can safely say I did not see that coming.

RYAN: do you feel betrayed?

JACK: Envious. But I'm sure it's a sight to behold.

RYAN: *snorts.* if its any consolation im not really interested in bringing all the boys and girls to my yard right now.

RYAN: (test)

JACK: (( test ))

RYAN: (YE)

JACK: Well...

JACK: As they say.

JACK: More milkshake for you.

RYAN: *smirks at him* do they say that?

JACK: They're pretty wise for their age, I hear.

RYAN: well its a good saying. this milkshake is too tasty to share with just anybody tbh.

JACK: Write this on the reviews. That Jack Crocker remembered it fondly.

RYAN: oh yeah im sure you did. living in that dark sexually frustrated world of yours.

RYAN: very fondly.

JACK: In my defense. I have nothing else to use for comparison.

RYAN: do you need anything else? ;)

JACK: An ice pack. *he's so smug*

RYAN: you need a full blown cold shower.

RYAN: you know you really are repressed. we opened up this whole evening with nut holes.

JACK: You could say...

JACK: ...

JACK: We've come full circle.

RYAN: ...

RYAN: god.

RYAN: dammit.

JACK: *lowkey knifecat.jpeg*

RYAN: *snickers...* hey did you have any other plans for today?

JACK: Nothing that can't be rearranged or postponed.

JACK: Why do you ask?

RYAN: i was wondering if i could walk you back to your place... and just hang out there for a while?

JACK: That sounds like a plan. *starts to rise out of his chair* I think Sage recently bought a remastered copy of One Hundred and One Dalmations.

JACK: Let's break that in for her.

RYAN: ooh i like the sound of that. *stands with him, looping their arms.*

JACK: *lets her take the lead* Then we can go for some Dominos. The pizza and the tabletop game.

RYAN: youre just full of great ideas. *smiles, absolutely content as she leads him out of the coffee shop and back to his place.*

[allofbeercom]

44 Women Reveal The Specific Male Body Part That Makes Them Drool With Lust

Found on AskReddit.

1. For some reason, thick wrists with dark arm hair gets me.

Wrists. For some reason, thick wrists with dark arm hair gets me. Maybe because it looks so much manlier than most female wrists which are more narrow, the bones don’t look as sharp and the hair is not as noticeable.

2. The Adonis Belt.

The Adonis Belt. But arms are nice, too.

3. The Iliac Crest.

Iliac crestthat line from the hip bone down yum!

4. Armpit hair.

Weird fetish for armpit hair on dudes, also fit guys who have the nice back dimples going on.

5. Adams Apples.

I’m attracted to Adam’s Apples. The bigger the better. I’ve always wanted my own but life didn’t work out that way and now I like men with big ones. Also, hands.

6. The part of the neck around the Adams Apple.

His neck around the Adam’s Apple, makes my teeth sweat.

7. Muscle definition around the hips.

Sounds weird but hips. Men with some muscle definition around their hips just makes my knees weak.

8. Crinkles around the eyes when a guy smiles.

Crinkles around the eyes when a guy smiles. Some call them crow’s feet but I call them panty droppers.

9. Dimples make me stupid.

Pretty eyes, or dimples. Dimples make me stupid.

10. Chin dimples.

So many things. I like men so much.When they have a chin dimple.Men are great.

11. Eyelashes.

I’m also not sure if it’s just me but most guys I’ve been with have amazing eyelashes, especially lower eyelashes. I think that makes their eyes really pretty.

12. Red hair and freckles.

Lately I’ve had a thing for red hair and a cute face with freckles.

13. Big incisors.

I’ve always been attracted to guys with big incisors and smaller other teeth.

14. Pale eyes.

Pale eyes and dark lashes.

15. Long hair. Long hair. Long hair. Long hair.

Long hair. Long hair. Long hair. Long hair.

To be specific, long hair that’s well-groomed and styled. Doesn’t necessarily matter if it’s just shoulder length or lower (but god would I adore a guy with really long hair).

Also, something about a man’s legs in a nice pair of jeans is appealing. Really makes me want to sit on them.

16. Veiny, strong hands are my weakness.

Here’s a list of things I find attractive; Strong jawline, eye smile (eye smiles kill me), dimples and a bit of a goofy smile can also make my heart melt. But the thing I find most attractive appears to be hands. Jesus Christ, veiny, strong hands are my weakness.

17. Veiny forearms.

Defined veiny forearms make me wet…

18. Protruding clavicles.

Protruding clavicles, bony elbows & knees, and my all-time favorite is ribs that are visible from the back.

19. Good quads and calves.

Good quads and calves. I am the biggest pervert in the gym when a guy with good legs is at the squat rack.

20. Pecs.

Pecs. Generally I’m an upper-body person. Male legs are kinda creepy to me.

21. Strong jawline.

A strong jawline makes me melt.

22. Long fingers.

Long fingers and forearms that look thick and strong but not jacked or anything. I love it. I love watching my SO cook, it’s incredibly sexy.

23. A good bum.

Gotta love a good bum, something to hold onto and give a good squeeze.

24. I like a good view while being choked.

Face and forearms. I like a good view while being choked

25. Broad shoulders.

Broad shoulders melt me every time.

26. A big Adrian Brody nose.

I like a big nose, like an Adrian Brody nose.

27. Lots of body hair.

Arms for sure, and honestly, body hair. I might be in the minority here, but there’s something about it that’s rough and masculine and makes me feel more feminine.

28. Kind eyes.

Eyes. My boyfriend has the kindest eyes, and that genuinely makes him more attractive to me. Eyes can tell you a lot about a person sometimes, and his are just so kind and loving. Sorry if you have crazy eyes and you’re 100% amazing/normal

29. Thick eyebrows.

Thick eyebrows.

30. Beards make me sexually aggressive.

Beards make me sexually aggressive. Some kind of raw animal lusta cavewoman instinct or something. So fucking sexy! Purrrrr. My husband knows if his face gets hairy he better be ready.

31. Toned arms.

Toned arms. When I see a man with nicely toned arms I’m usually fantasizing about him.

32. Strong hands for the grabbing of my tits/throat while we fuck.

Good smile, deep voice, strong hands for the grabbing of my tits/throat while we fuck…BRB masturbating.

33. The small of the back.

Christ that’s hard….I like all bits of man…there isn’t a bit that is particularly better than the other bits; I think I find all a man’s body parts sexy if I like the man. But I think the piece of man others probably don’t immediately think of that I find very attractive is the small of the back.

34. Dad Bod.

Fit-ish men in general. Or what some call the dad-bod. Fit arms/shoulders and a bit of a belly, dear lord hold me back! But to be more specific strong arms/forearms are the most attractive thing to me. Not like, super huge, but if you have thick arms and the muscles show while doing everyday things that make you flex, I’m yours.

35. Its always the balls.

It’s the balls. It’s always the balls.

36. HUGE, thick, working-man hands.

Hands…I like HUGE, thick, working-man hands. Backs are secondary; something about a broad back is really a turn-on. Essentially, I want a lumberjack.

37. Full lips.

I find full lips incredibly sexy.

38. The dip right below the belly line but above the pelvis.

The dip right below the belly line but above the pelvis. I know it’s oddly specific, but /swoon.

39. Beards.

Partner had never grown a beard before. Had to grow one for a costume I made him. Didn’t seem him for a few weeks after he started growing it. Guess what I found I was suddenly attracted to.

40. Hairy beer bellies.

Hairy beer bellies. Seriously they make the best pillows.

41. V-line body shape.

V-line body shape.

42. Cheekbones.

Cheekbones. Necessary and sufficient. Nice if he has a small nose and hollow cheeks too, and glasses.

43. Blond with big, thick strong legs.

Blond with big, thick strong legs

If I went to Sweden, I don’t think I’d be coming back anytime soon.

44. Saving the best for last…

A nice big ol’ dick.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/44-women-reveal-the-specific-male-body-part-that-makes-them-drool-with-lust/