#he cried on her shoulder later about andy

[parrhesiac]

I only ship it in the past, there's definitely an old married couple vibe there, he married Andy and it went poorly, and yet Andy remains the all-consuming passion of his life thereafter, but he and CJ knew each other before. Somehow. From opposite ends of the country. And it didn't work for them either, but amicably, in a way that CJ was happy to see him find Andy. There's a story there, and a good one, but not one that was ever worth telling for TV. And it only exists at all because of season 2 building backstory.

Do you ship it?

reason: beghhdkbhogrfbkhgfidaluhufksvbgukbfvksj <--That is my brain whenever I think about them

[thefallennightmare]

The Promise-Andy Biersack

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Pairings: Andy Biersack x OFC

Warnings: smut, language, angst(lots of it), a smidge of fluff, mentions of abuse, alcoholism.

Summary: High school was supposed to be some of the best years of a teenager's life; except for River. Those four years were hell, the only one that got her through it was her best friend, Andy. She thought he'd be by her side after graduation but after one night of giving each other something so treasured, life took both of them in different directions.

Almost ten years later, River and Andy meet again in a way neither of them expected.

Authors Note: This is my first time writing Andy Biersack but I'm very excited! As of now, it is a one-shot but might consider continuing it if people are interested!

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @mitchhbitch @concreteangel92 @flowery-mess @cookiesupplier @poppy-in-the-woods @viofcrows @sprokat @srorgana1 @bloody-delusion-expert

 “You don’t ever have to be alone, River,” his soothing voice cooed in my ear as he cupped my cheek. 

I looked up at him through the tears and choked on a sob. “Promise you’ll stay with me?”

He smiled that smile I fell in love with years ago. “I promise.” 

The sounds of yelling pulled me out of my thoughts in time to see a group of teenagers running past me on the street, youthful smiles on their faces. 

If they only knew what the future for them held. 

With the setting sun grazing over the streets of Hollywood as people made their way home from school or work, I was headed to work with my camera bag hanging on my shoulder and phone in my hand. I had the Maps app up giving me directions where I needed to go. It was going to be a long night at work for this music video shoot and I was already on my third cup of coffee, the feeling of caffeine still not flowing through my system. 

I spent the morning and afternoon bouncing between different shoots from clients and when I remembered I had booked this job taking pictures of a band's music video tonight, I cut the last photoshoot short by only a few minutes to make it in time. 

The company that booked me for this video shoot, Industrialism Films, didn’t tell me much about who the band was. They just told me to show up at seven p.m. and start working as soon as I was set up. It was going to be an all-night event and I needed to make sure to get shots of everyone in the band. 

Hence the third cup of coffee. 

It also hadn't helped that my mind had been plagued with memories of high school even ten years after graduation. Usually, I was great at pushing away those awful memories but the last few nights, those images of my past life kept clawing at me, dragging me down to the depths. I spent so long trying to crawl out of it and breathe that fresh air I desperately craved those four years of hell. 

The bullying. 

Eating alone in the bathroom stalls. 

The feeling of being so alone, I cried myself to sleep every night. 

The desperation of my home being a haven away from the mocking at school, only to have it worse there. 

Every single day of high school was miserable; except for one person. 

Him. 

My best friend and first everything; Andy. 

Until he left you to deal with the beatings alone so he could succeed with his band. 

Screwing my eyes shut tight to forget the sound of my dad's skin on mine, I turned the corner, and a large church and steps came into view. There were ropes blocked off around the perimeter, keeping outsiders away. As I reached a security guard, I pulled out my I.D. to show him. 

“River Murray. I’m the photographer,” I said. 

The guard glanced down to my I.D. then to the list in his hands and with a gruff of response, he let me walk past the ropes. 

“Have a great night,” I mumbled under my breath. 

Bodies were moving everywhere, and people were screaming over one another, but I was able to find the director of the shoot pretty quickly. He showed me a trailer where I could set up my things and once I was settled, I could start working. They didn’t care what pictures I shot, just as long as I got a lot of the band. 

“Who’s the band?” I asked Vincent, the director while setting my camera bag on the table inside the trailer. 

“Bloody veils? No that’s not right,” he scratched at the beard on his chin, trying to remember. “I don’t know. It's some metal band. I’ve only met them once before but they’re nice guys. It’s for their song Saviour II.” 

I nodded. “So I have free reign around here? As long as I don’t get in the shot right?” 

Vincent smiled. “You’ve worked on music video shoots before?” 

“Once or twice,” I shrugged. “I worked with Bad Omens on one and some local bands another time.” 

“Bad Omens?” He whistled low. “They’re one of the hottest bands right now. I’m surprised you aren't working with them.” 

“I dated their current photographer for a few months. He set up the shoot with them to help build up my portfolio,” I shifted on my feet, suddenly feeling uncomfortable divulging too much about my life to this stranger. 

A loud crackle and static came through Vincent’s radio. “Veil Brid-. They’re here.”

My heart stuttered in my chest for the briefest of moments but told myself to take a breath. It couldn’t be him; the radio cut off before finishing who was here, I was just in my head. 

“You’re beautiful, River,” he mused while kissing every inch of my bruised skin. 

Vincent clapped his hands which caused me to jump out of my thoughts and blinked wildly. 

“Alright, I’ve got to meet the boys and show them their trailers to get ready. Head out whenever you’re ready. There’s a radio for you on the table in case we need to communicate with you tonight.” 

“Sure,” I did my best to nod with a smile. 

Once alone, I sat on the couch in the trailer and went about assembling my camera, doing a few test shots. The past kept trying to crawl its way back into the present, doing its best to render me useless, but I wouldn’t allow it. 

Well, I tried to anyway. 

“You’re worthless.” 

“Piece of shit daughter. I should have dropped you off with your mother years ago.” 

“The only thing you’re good for is being a punching bag. But you can’t even do that right.” 

A swift kick to my ribs sent me flying across the room. 

Choking on a sob, I dug my palms into my eyes hoping that would force out those thoughts. 

“I haven’t thought of Dad in years but now he’s overtaking every part of me again,” I sighed to myself. 

Not feeling quite ready to leave the trailer yet, I fixed myself in the reflection of the mirror by tying my long black hair into a tight French braid and cleaned up my makeup a bit. The scar underneath my right eye was faint but visible to this day almost eleven years later. No matter how much makeup I wore to cover it, it was still a reminder of not only the best day of my life but also the worst day. 

“River, we need you on set.” 

“Be right there,” I said into the radio before clicking it to the belt of my jeans, and with my camera around my neck, I bounded down the steps of the trailer. 

By now the sun had set and the moon shone overhead so I stopped in my tracks for a moment to take a few shots of it before walking into the church where there was a large gathering of people. On the altar of the church were a set up of drums, guitars, an orchestra, and a microphone stand. 

After snapping a picture of it, I turned on my heels when I heard Vincent call my name. 

“River, I’d like you to meet the band. I figured you’d want to get some pictures of them before we start shooting.” 

I looked over the picture I had just taken of the drum set, something vaguely familiar about the logo, but then glanced up at the five men standing in front of me; the one in the middle with the bright gray eyes immediately catching my gaze. 

My breath caught in my throat as I nearly tripped over my feet when his jaw went slack, the familiarity slapping both of us in the face. 

“River?” 

The richness of his voice brought back all of those other memories I did my best to push away. I stood frozen, unable to move or say anything, while my brain tried to catch up on the man that stood in front of me; the one I hadn’t seen in ten years. 

The one that broke his promise. 

“Andy.”

Highschool. Senior year. One week before graduation. 

I pounded on the bedroom window as the rain assaulted me with no end in sight, drenching me from head to toe. The rain mixed with the salty tears that rolled down my cheeks as I continued to beat my palm against the glass while standing on the makeshift ladder we made of three cinder blocks. I needed a way to reach his window in times like this. There was no way I could walk through his front door looking like this where his parents could see and ask questions. 

“Damn it, Andy! Wake up!” I cried, still pounding on the window. 

The storm was a constant onslaught of rain, lightning, and thunder, so I knew it was hard for him to hear me. But that didn’t stop me. 

Finally, after a few minutes of crying and pounding on the window, Andy’s sleep-filled eyes stared at me through the curtain covering his window. I saw all the emotions run through his intense gaze. 

Confusion. 

Realization. 

And when he gave my face one long once over, the emotion that crossed the soft features of his face, I knew there was no way I’d be able to excuse my dad’s actions this time. 

Anger. 

“River,” his voice instantly soothing me when he opened the window, helping me inside. “What the fuck happened?” 

My body convulsed in shivers and I wrapped my arms around me to help keep some of my body heat. 

“I–I-I’m fi-fine,” my teeth chattered loudly in the quiet room. 

“Bullshit,” Andy spat while running a hand through his long black hair. “You’ve got a nasty cut under your eye and your lip is busted.” 

Now with the rain not washing away the blood, I could taste the bitter crimson on my lips and felt it pooling in my eye. I didn’t have to look at myself to know that the cut was deep and needed stitches. 

Typically, my dad made sure to hit me in places that I could easily hide. But tonight was different. I told him that once I graduated, I had plans to leave Ohio and move to North Carolina to start over; fresh. 

“Not with my money,” he spat.

Literally. 

When I told him I didn’t need his money and that I had other plans, he snorted while stubbing out his cigarette. 

“With that little boyfriend of yours? Sweety, he’ll drop you the second you follow him to that big fancy city.” 

“Fuck you!” I screamed. “You know nothing about Andy!” 

My cursing set him off and that's when the first slap happened, causing my busted lip. This time, I fought back, but in the end, it didn’t matter. My dad’s strength overpowered me as he threw me across the floor, face skidding along some of the broken glass from the cup I had thrown at him before. 

Hence the nasty cut underneath my eye. 

Andy’s sighing brought me back and I then noticed he was shirtless, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. I’d seen him like this many times before since we were best friends but something about seeing him like this tonight, made my insides burn low. 

I’d had a crush on him since freshman year when he stepped between me and Alexa Dread from taking my camera and breaking it; again. Ever since that day, Andy and I were inseparable. We knew everything about each other and we always confided in each other about our feelings. 

Just not for each other. 

My feelings for him began to grow with each passing day but I had to watch him date girls that weren’t me with a fake smile because I needed to be happy for my best friend. 

He’d never feel the same way and that was something I came to terms with a while ago. 

My eyes grazed over the scattered ink on his arms, the random designs always taking my breath away. He was eighteen so was able to get the tattoos without the permission of his parents. 

I, however, was one month shy of turning eighteen and I’d been counting down the days. Ready to run from all of this the minute the clock struck midnight.

“Fuck, River. You’re shaking,” Andy’s hand reached for me, leading me to the adjacent bathroom off of his bedroom. 

“I d-didn’t know wh-where el-se to go-go,” I did my best to speak over my body shaking. 

He hushed me with a gentle squeeze of my hand. “You know you can always come here. You always have a place here, Riv.” 

I swallowed thickly at his nickname for me.

“You need to shower but I want to clean that cut first,” he motioned towards the soaked clothes that were clinging to me like a second skin. “Take them off.” 

I stilled at his words. While Andy had no problem walking around in his underwear around me, I, on the other hand, could not muster up that kind of courage. 

“I can’t,” I shook my head. 

His bright eyes narrowed through the thickness of his black hair. “Either you take those clothes off or I will. The last thing you need right now is to catch pneumonia.” 

Gnawing on the inside of my cheek, I still didn’t make a move, which caused Andy to sigh. 

“I’ll turn around so you can undress, and keep your bra and underwear on. I’ll keep my face on yours when I clean your cut,” he reassured me with a gentle smile. 

“Okay,” I said finally. 

Before he turned around, Andy turned on the shower so the steam could fill the bathroom and keep me warm while he cleaned the cut. Staying true to his word, he turned his back to me, and as quick as I could, I ripped off the wet clothes. The sound it made falling to the tiled floor made me cringe and I covered myself with my arms. 

My bra and underwear were not cute, nothing he’d seen his past girlfriends wear, so to say I was embarrassed was an understatement. A simple pair of black cotton panties and a red bra. 

“You can turn around,” I said softly.

Andy slowly turned around and kept his eyes straight ahead on my face as he motioned to the closed toilet seat. While I sat, I watched his back muscles contort as he rummaged around underneath the sink for the first aid kit. 

“Won't your parents wonder why you’re taking a shower at two in the morning?” I asked. 

He snorted his laughter, still rummaging underneath the sink. “They would never question why their teenage son would be taking a shower in the middle of the night.” 

“Huh?” I said, utterly confused. 

Andy glanced up at me from his kneeling position with his brows raised and a playful smirk. Suddenly, it clicked on what he meant. 

“Oh, right,” I muttered low; the image of his hand around his cock pumping it slowly then fast replaying in my mind like a movie. 

I’d never seen him do that but I’d thought about it a handful of times. 

“This might sting a bit,” Andy said, kneeling in front of me now; his eyes remaining on my face. 

“I’ve had worse,” I tried to joke but the stern look from him made my shoulders fall and I muttered an apology. 

“You need to leave home, River,” he said while soaking a cotton pad in peroxide. 

I shook my head. “And go where? I have no money and no other relatives that will take me in.” 

“You know my parents will let you stay in the guest room for as long as you need.” 

I snorted. “Right. I don’t think your girlfriend would like the idea of me staying down the hall from you.” 

Andy’s eyes snapped away from the cotton ball to my face. “We broke up.” 

I did my best to keep a straight face when my heart nearly soared out of my chest. 

“When?” 

“The other day. She wanted to have sex and I said no so she broke up with me,” his voice told me that he wasn't upset about it. 

My brows furrowed together. “You said no to sex with Ashley Jenks? You’re not sick are you?” 

I made a play of touching his forehead with the back of my hand, our laughter echoing in the small bathroom. 

“No,” he grabbed my hand, not letting it go right away. “I’m not going to give my virginity to the first girl that throws themself at me. Or in this case, the fourth.” 

I blinked. “You’re still a virgin?” 

Andy finally let go of my hand and I frowned at the loss of warmth. 

“I know it’s shocking but call me old school. I’m waiting until I find the right person.” 

Our eyes met in an intense battle of who would look away first but neither of us was faltering. 

“I am too,” I said quietly. 

For the briefest of moments, I saw his eyes widen before he played it off by holding up the soaked cotton ball. 

“I’m sorry for the sting.” 

I urged him on with a nod and didn’t even flinch when the cool liquid met my skin finally as Andy cleaned the cut on my cheek. Silence fell between us as he then cleaned the dried blood on my face and when his warm breath fanned over the cut to dry it, I nearly melted into him; skin rising with goosebumps. 

“I don’t think you’ll need stitches,” he murmured while looking closely at the cut. 

I sucked in a breath when I realized his lips were mere meters from mine and dared a glance down to his full lips. They were practically begging to be kissed and I wanted to be the one to do it. 

“I’ll put a bandaid on it after my shower,” I said. 

With me still sitting on the toilet and Andy kneeling in front of me, I spread my legs wide so he was able to get as close as he could to cleaning the cut. Now that he was finished, it was as if he had no idea where to place his hands so they rested on the wall behind me, his long body leaning over me. 

“You’re not going back tonight, River,” his voice was deep as he stared down at me. 

With shaking fingers, I brushed away the strands of hair from his face so I could see those gray eyes. 

“I know.” 

I tracked the movement of his Adam's apple as it bobbed low when he swallowed, his eyes finally grazing lower than my face. Down to the swell of my breasts and the slight pudge of skin around my stomach. 

I wasn't the skinniest of girls, another reason why I was bullied, but Andy never commented on it. 

“You should get in the shower,” his voice broke the trance between us. “Your lips are blue.” 

When his finger ghosted over my mouth, I let out a soft moan desperately wanting to feel the pressure of his touch everywhere. 

Suddenly like a ghost, Andy had vanished from the bathroom back into his bedroom, leaving me all alone. Since the door was now shut, I rose from the toilet and stripped out of my remaining clothes. 

The hot water stung like a blade against my sore skin and I groaned out in pleasure. I didn’t want to take a long shower only because the water had already been running for a while before stepping beneath it. I washed away the memories of today with Andy’s soap and wrapped a towel around me after I stepped out of the shower. 

“Shit, what am I supposed to wear?” I grumbled to myself.

Slowly opening the bathroom door, the light burst into Andy’s bedroom and lit up his form lounging on his bed reading a Batman comic. 

“Andy,” I said while shuffling my feet and clutching the towel close to my chest. “I don’t have any clothes.” 

Setting the comic down, he hopped off the bed and went across the room, opening the drawers of his dresser to pull out a pair of boxers and a shirt. 

“We’ll swing by your house at some point tomorrow to grab you some clothes. You’ll stay here for the weekend,” he said while standing in front of me.

I took the clothes with one hand. “Thank you.” 

Before in the bathroom, Andy made sure not to look at the bruises covering my skin but now, he made sure to take in every single one that he could see. 

The fingers imprinted around my neck. 

The bruise on my shoulder, left arm, and legs. 

These were the ones that he could see. The ones underneath the towel around me were worse. 

His jaw ticked with the anger he so desperately tried to keep within, knowing that one outburst from him would cause me to fall into myself. 

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” I whispered. 

Andy’s eyes were dark but his voice was gentle. “Let me see all of it.” 

I vigorously shook my head. “I’m fine, Andy. I just want to get dressed and go to sleep.” 

All at once, I felt my body being pressed up against the wall and the towel falling to the floor at my feet. Andy’s gaze ignited as he pressed his hips against mine causing a shockwave throughout my body. His clothed cock brushed along my bare clit and I let out a moan while my eyes fluttered shut. 

“Riv.”

My eyes snapped open when I felt his hand cup my cheek. Tears burned at the corners and he gently wiped them away with the pad of his thumb. 

“Please,” I begged. “Don’t look. They’re ugly. I’m ugly.” 

The burning anger in his iris softened at my cries but still kept me locked in place against the wall with his hips. 

“You’re beautiful, angel,” he admitted with a steady voice. 

Angel. 

It was Andy’s nickname for me ever since sophomore year when I dressed up as a fallen angel for Halloween. We were too old to go trick or treating but not cool enough for parties so we both decided to get dressed up and spend the night in his basement getting drunk. 

It was also the night I had my first kiss. We were sitting on the couch in his basement, a few drinks in, and I had my head resting on Andy’s shoulder trying so hard to stay awake for the horror movie he put on. When I looked up at him, I was shocked to see that he was already staring at me and the next thing I knew, his lips were on mine. It was a short kiss, over before I could enjoy it. 

“Shit, sorry,” he apologized. “I drank too much.”

We never talked about that kiss after that night, both of us burying it away; much to my dismay. 

“I’m not,” I cast my eyes away from him. 

His warm breath fanned across the crook of my neck as he peppered kisses on the bruises there. 

“Let me show you.” 

Yet again our eyes locked with intensity, so fierce it set the space around us on fire. Andy’s hand moved down my cheek, over my neck, and the space between my breasts. I bit back a moan when his finger and thumb rolled one of my perked nipples between them. 

“Will you let me show you?” He asked, nuzzling his face in my neck. 

I licked my lips. “What about waiting for the right person?” 

“She’s already in front of me,” Andy admitted before crashing his lips to mine. 

My body had come alive with his touch and everything I wanted since freshman year was coming to fruition. Andy wanted me just as much as I wanted him. Our lips synced together perfectly, never missing a beat, as he lifted me and carried me to his bed. 

That night, we both gave each other something we held so dear to ourselves. Afterward, as we lay together with our naked bodies tangled underneath his sheets, Andy pressed a kiss to my forehead when I cried in his chest, scared to go back home once Monday morning came. 

“I hate being alone there. I’m afraid he’ll go too far and kill me.” 

“You don’t ever have to be alone, River,” his soothing voice cooed in my ear as he cupped my cheek. 

I looked up at him through the tears and choked on a sob. “Promise you’ll stay with me?”

He smiled that smile I fell in love with years ago. “I promise.” 

Andy lied. 

Four days later, he packed up his entire life and moved to Hollywood without a simple goodbye. 

PRESENT DAY. 

“River?” 

I blinked while shaking my head, trying to gather my bearings again. The past had sucked me in whole, forcing me to relive that night over again. I couldn't believe Any was standing in front of me again after all these years, the moonlight breaking through the stained glass windows of the church bathed him in a glow made for kings. Even though he looked different than the last time I’d seen him, with more tattoos and shorter hair; tonight he had a small white patch in his hair. I could vaguely make out the old lip-piercing hole and I remembered how the cool metal tasted against my tongue when we kissed. 

He, along with the guys around him, were dressed in their outfits for the video, so I was able to see the tattoos that littered his neck, chest, and stomach. However, those eyes were still the same. 

Those haunting gray eyes stared into the soul I previously just captured again as he waited for me to say something. 

Do I play it off like I don't remember him? 

Right, like you could forget the guy that took your virginity. 

Do I ignore him and go about work like a professional? 

How is ignoring the person you’re supposed to be working with professional? 

I was starting to grow tired of the little voice inside my head. 

Vincent glanced between Andy and me, pointing a finger. “Do you two know each other?” 

“We went to high school together,” Andy answered before I could. 

“No shit,” Vincent chuckled. “What a small world.” 

“Right,” I snorted venomously. 

Andy’s eyes sliced into me but I ignored him by giving him my back and looking over at Vincent. 

“I’ll get shots of them later. Radio me when you’re ready.” 

When he nodded, I took that as my cue to leave although I made it only a few steps before my name was called from behind. 

“You’re not even going to say hello, Riv.” 

I spun so fast on my heels, the end of my braid snapped to the other side of my face and I pointed a finger at Andy. 

“I’m not doing this with you. Not here and especially not right now. Both of us have a job to do. Let’s keep it that way.” 

One of the guys next to Andy watched us carefully and I could practically see the light click on above his head. 

“Wait, River as in River from high school,” the guy said. 

“Yeah, Jinxx,” Andy answered before taking a step towards me. 

I took a large step away from him. “I already said I’m here to do my job, that’s it.” 

Before he could try and sweet talk his way into my life, just like that night, I turned back around and marched out of the church, calling back that I was going to take some shots of it. 

Once outside, I let the cold night air brush the hot tears away from my face as my heart nearly burst out from my chest, sobs echoing throughout the vastness of the sky. 

No. This cannot be happening. 

For the last nine years, I spent my life crying over that man, wondering what I did wrong that night to make him leave me behind. He promised to stay with me but still left. 

Was I not good enough? Worthy of being by his side? 

Nine years I spent stuck in Ohio wondering why with the bitter taste of Hennessy, drinking away my sorrows and regrets. It wasn’t until a year ago when I finally questioned myself in the reflection of the bottle that I took whatever money I had left from selling my father's house after he died to move across the county to California. 

The last year I spent building myself up to the women I was now and creating my career empire with my photography. I refused to let the past crumble everything I worked so hard for; no matter how good he looked now or how bad I wanted to taste his lips again. 

“Get a hold of yourself,” I seethed. “He left you.” 

The sound of music from inside blasted through the walls of the church letting me know that they started shooting and choosing not to dwell on Andy showing back up into my life, I took a few shots of the church outside. Then I reluctantly walked back inside knowing I couldn’t avoid him forever and decided to get some pictures of the guys. 

Andy’s eyes quickly found me but I did my best to ignore him by hiding behind my camera. His voice erupted through the speakers and it brought back every single time during music class in high school when he would sing in front of the class or solo for me in his bedroom. 

My bottom lip trembled as I blew out a shaky breath while walking over to where Vincent sat, just as he yelled cut. 

“Did you get your shots?” He wondered. 

Clicking back through all of the pictures, I pursed my lips at the realization that while I got great shots of the other band members, I hadn’t gotten any shots of Andy mostly because I avoided him at all costs. 

“I need some of Andy,” I said with a long breath. 

“No problem. I think we got everything we need with this scene. Next up is the scene of him sitting in the pew alone so you can get them now,” Vincent patted my shoulder as he stood from the chair. 

“Lovely,” I grumbled while walking back towards the altar of the church directly in Andy’s path. 

He was talking with one of his band members but when he caught sight of me, he met me halfway. 

“Riv,” he began. 

“Don’t,” I seethed, walking past him. “You lost the right to call me that when you left me.” 

“Can I explain please?” Andy asked while reaching for my elbow. 

I yanked it out of his grasp, ready to move to the opposite side of the church when his voice halted me. 

“Angel.” 

Whirling around so fast, I nearly dropped my camera to the ground when I pushed him in his chest. 

“Don’t you fucking ever call me that again!” I nearly screamed. “You don’t have the right to call me that.” 

Anytime I heard that name, all I would think about was our first kiss and the night we slept together. 

His eyes softened, almost begging me to listen. “Please, angel. I have to explain-.” 

“NO!” My voice echoed inside the church. “There’s nothing to explain, Andy. Anything that comes out of your mouth is a lie.” 

“Do you guys need a moment?” Vincent’s voice carried over to us. 

“No!” 

“Yes!” 

Andy and I both said at the same time. 

“You know what, I think a break is a good idea. Let’s take thirty and come back,” Vincent directed to everyone with a wave of a finger. 

Having every intention of spending that thirty minutes alone in my trailer, I brushed past Andy and nearly tripped over my feet as I ran down the concrete steps, the vision of my solace getting closer and closer. Just before I could slam the door shut behind me, it closed on a body with an audible ouch. 

“Leave me alone, Andy!” I yelled. 

He stood tall in the small confines of the trailer, his broad chest heaving with each deep breath from chasing after me. His bare chest underneath his opened jacket and for a second, I allowed myself to study those visible tattoos. The eagle on his sternum, the sword in the crease of his stomach, the tiger neck to it. I couldn’t make out the tattoo across his neck or chest but I could make out the 26 in a hear on his neck.  

“Not until you let me explain,” he said. 

I grabbed the end of my braid, ripping it out so my dark hair could fall around my shoulders. 

“I swear to fucking God himself, if you say explain one more time I’m going to-.” 

“Do what, angel?” He raised a brow while resting his hands on his hips. 

I pointed to the door. “Get out.”

Andy didn’t move. 

“You're unbelievable,” I growled while making a beeline for the door instead, only to have him block my path. 

“I had to leave.” 

I blinked up at him, mouth agape. “What?” 

We were so close now, his familiar scent encasing me with its vise grip, and my mind kept screaming at me to create space. 

He ran a hand over his short hair and took a deep breath. “I had to leave. That Monday morning after you left, I got a call from an agent in Los Angeles offering me a small gig in a commercial. It's what I needed to get my foot in the door, to get Black Veil Brides started, so I took it. But I had to be out there the day after they called me.” 

“So you left me behind, without a single fucking goodbye,” I sneered, pushing past him to the other side of the trailer. 

“I didn’t have a choice!” Andy’s voice was raised now, it echoing off the walls. 

“You could have told me! You know I would have followed you!” I shot back. 

He began pacing the narrow space while having his hands on his hips. “I couldn’t, River. Not without knowing that everything would have paid off in the end. I couldn’t have you with me while I suffered.” 

I chuckled dryly. “Oh but suffering back home alone was fine with you?” 

“I wanted to reach out and check on how you were doing,” his shoulders slumped. 

“My number has been the same,” I held out my hands. “I lived in the same fucking house for nine years after you left. You could have come to see me.”

When he said nothing, his lips unmoving, I grew angrier and pushed his chest, ten years of holding everything in finally exploding. 

“You lied!” 

Push. 

“You left me with him to beat on me for another three fucking years until he died!”

Push. 

“You made me a promise and broke it!” 

I cried with one final push, causing Andy to fall back onto the couch, stormy eyes staring up at me. Tears were streaming down my face and my eyes burned with anger for the man in front of me. 

“You told me you would never leave me,” I snarled through gritted teeth. “You said you wouldn’t and you fucking did.” 

When he reached for my hand, I smacked it away. 

“Please, angel,” he begged. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. But I wasn’t in the best place. I couldn’t have you be with me, seeing all that shit. You didn’t deserve any of that.”

“Just tell me all you wanted from me was sex so I can finally put the nail in the coffin, Andy,” I said with a shaky breath. 

His face fell. “That’s not even remotely true, River.” 

“It doesn’t matter anyway. After tonight, you’ll go back to your band and life as a rockstar.” 

With my back turned, I gathered my camera and was ready to get back to work when an arm wrapped around me from behind. 

“Come with me, angel,” Andy’s soft voice brushed along the shell of my ear. 

When I felt myself falling into his embrace, almost ready to give in, I pushed away from him. He made me so mad I could throw something at him. My camera or the chair. 

Myself. 

“You’re insane,” I shook my head.  

He linked our hands together so I could face him, the pleading bright in his eyes. “Give me a chance to make up for the last ten years.” 

I stared blankly at him, trying to determine if this was a cruel trick. 

“You don’t deserve my time, Andy. What we used to have is gone, you can’t fix it or try to bring it back.” 

“You’re not even going to let me try?” He asked. 

“Why should I? So that you can break my heart again? You don’t realize how much of myself I gave to you; parts I can never take back. You were my first kiss!” I raised my voice. 

He blinked. “I didn’t know that.” 

I scoffed while shaking my head again. “Of course you didn’t, Andy. Because you never brought it up again. You blamed it on the alcohol that night. What’s your excuse for the night we lost our virginity to each other?” 

Before Andy could speak, I waved him off and headed towards the door of the trailer. 

“It’s not even worth it anymore,” I muttered with my hand on the handle. 

Suddenly in a whirlwind, I felt myself being hoisted up and pressed against the bathroom door. Those dark gray eyes were reading my face, assessing every movement of my gaze as it burned into him. Andy held my hands pinned to my sides and kept me locked into place with his hips. The imprint of his cock was felt against the material of my leggings and I bit the inside of my cheek to keep the moan quiet. 

It’d been so long since I felt his touch and I was ready to throw out everything, all of my morals, just to have him again. 

“River,” his hand cupped my cheek, the coolness of his rings almost a shock to my warm skin. 

I said nothing, simply glaring up at him with a clenched jaw. 

“Riv. Come with me.” 

AnDy breathed over my lips and I nearly lost it. But I still kept strong, not wanting to be the first one to falter. I worked so hard to build myself back up after he left and there was no way I could allow myself to fall. 

Not again. 

His thumb lifted my chin, keeping it locked in his grip, and his eyes dropped to my lips; a silent question. 

“Fuck you,” I spat. 

Something dark flashed in Andy’s eyes as a sinister smirk played on his lips. One that I recognized all too well even though it was never directed at me.

“I don’t ever remember you being such a brat,” he tsked. 

I swallowed thickly, unsure how the tension between us went from anger to sexual, but at that moment with him eyeing me hungrily, I didn’t want to question it. 

“How could you remember? You’ve been gone for ten years,” I shot back. 

Andy pressed his hips harder against me and this time I wasn’t able to hold back the moan. It slipped through my lips with sheer pleasure and I let my head fall against the door behind me. 

“I wasn’t drunk the night we slept together, River,” Andy’s hand wrapped around my neck, thumb now on my pulse point. “Or that entire weekend.” 

My cheeks flushed when I remembered we had sex multiple times that weekend. We never left his bedroom and thankfully, his parents left the next morning for a friend's wedding so they had no idea I was there. 

“All I ever wanted was you,” his voice was low. 

I raised my chin at him. “You have a funny way of showing it.” 

His tongue darted out to wet his lips, an action I watched intently, and then his voice dropped even lower. Those usually bright eyes were dark and it made the air thick, heated, and full of spice. It made it harder to breathe as his grip tightened around my throat slightly.  

“Let me show you.” 

Those four words sent both of us back to his bedroom during high school and just like that night, I succumbed to the darkness that was Andy Biersack; consequences be damned. 

“Are you still waiting for the right person?” My question was a breath over his lips. 

A low noise rumbled in Andy’s chest as his hand gripped behind my neck, yanking my mouth to his. 

“She’s right in front of me.” 

Every single doubt and fight I had within me vanished the second our lips touched, those familiar fireworks exploding. My hands were all over Andy; his neck, chest, ribs, and back as they sneaked underneath his jacket. While one of his hands continued to grip the back of my neck, the other held tight on my hip so I couldn’t leave. 

As if I wanted to. 

Our tongues molded together and he swallowed my moan when his teeth bit down on my bottom lip. For a moment, reality struck with clarity and I pushed Andy off of me, wiping my mouth on the back of my hand. 

“You need to leave,” I warned, breathless. 

His lips were kiss swollen and his jacket was falling off of his shoulders as those stormy eyes never left my lips. 

“Do you want that? Because if you do, I’ll leave right now.” 

When I remained silent, Andy smirked while grasping the back of my head to crash his lips on mine again, this time with more hunger. It was as if he was a man starved, desperate for his last meal. 

“You need to go,” I groaned when his lips began trailing down my chin and neck. 

“Go where?” He asked. “Here?” 

A gentle bite to the shell of my ear. 

“Or here?” 

A kiss on the sensitive part of my skin between my neck and shoulder which caused me to shiver in his embrace. 

“What about here, angel? Do you want me here?” 

The head of his cock brushed along my clit from underneath our clothes and I nearly fell at his feet until Andy’s strong arms lifted me to carry me over to the small twin-size bed on the other end of the trailer. 

“It’s like we're back in my childhood bedroom with this small ass bed,” he grumbled.

I fell onto the cheap mattress with a slight giggle but it was hushed with Andy consuming me once more. My entire soul went up in a fiery blaze when he began rutting his hips into me and it was as if we were a couple of teenagers again making out and thinking that was the best part of it. We couldn’t keep our hands off of each other as I helped him out of his jacket and he all but ripped my sweater off, leaving me in an olive green bralette. 

His eyes darkened before he left teeth marks between the swell of my breasts, lapping up his saliva and dried sweat from the day and I raked my nails through the buzzed hair. 

“I miss your long hair,” I gasped, feeling his tongue slip between the material of my bra and catching my nipple. 

“I’ve missed the way you tasted, River,” Andy mused while kissing his way back up to my lips.

This time the kiss was slow, as if we had the rest of our lives together and there was no need to rush anything. It was like he was trying to imprint me into him, never wanting to forget anything again. 

I reached for the button on his pants, pulling down the zipper to slip my hand inside, palming his hard cock. 

Holy. Shit. 

It was a lot thicker than ten years ago. 

“Shit, Riv,” he cursed when I squeezed him. “Just like that.” 

I did it a few more times while his forehead fell to my chest, panting his warm breath over my skin. I lifted his face with my other hand to kiss him again, the savageness poured out of him. 

The room smelled of our desperation as I shimmied out of my leggings while he stepped out of his pants, after unhooking my bra and tossing it over his shoulder. As Andy stood at the end of the bed, I let my eyes rake over every defined muscle of his body; tongue begging for a simple taste of the ink on his skin and the head of his cock that was almost slipping through his briefs; the black briefs doing absolutely nothing to hide his arousal. 

Rising to my knees on the bed, I ran my palm over his cock again, his entire body shivering underneath my touch.

"Fuck, angel,” Andy groaned before his teeth grasped at my bottom lip, yanking it away from me. 

I hissed in pleasure, the taste of copper lingering on my tongue.

"Did you-." I licked my bottom lip and then tilted my head to the side. "Did you just bite me?"

Andy pushed me back down on the bed so he could take in the sight of me bare for him; those stormy eyes were now clear with only one thing. 

Heat. 

“I can’t believe I went ten years without this,” he muttered to himself while stepping out of his briefs, his cock finally springing free. 

I licked my lips at the sight of it, salivating for a taste of the precum that he smeared over the head. But instead, I felt like being a brat with Andy, not allowing him to think I wasn’t still upset with him. 

“It’s your own fucking fault,” I shot back with a sly smirk, resting on my elbows. 

My squeals echoed in the trailer when Andy flipped my tiny frame over on the mattress so my ass was exposed to his palm, a hard strike falling onto it. I writhed against the bed when another harsh strike came down on my ass, my mewls of pleasure being drowned out by the pillow. 

“You’re such an ass,” I seethed when the spankings stopped. 

Andy palmed my reddened cheek while looming over my back, his breath warm on my neck. 

“Do you still like it rough, River?” His question was heavy on his tongue. 

That weekend we spent together, I divulged what kind of kinks I might have been into due to my own research. Andy let me try things with him while I did the same and needless to say, all these years later he still knew exactly what my body needed to come alive for him. 

Instead of answering, I raised my hips from the bed with his name falling from my lips in a whine full of desperation. Andy had barely touched me but the wetness between my legs was warm and sticky.

I needed this release more than oxygen. 

"What do you want from me?" His fingers dragged up my slick folds from his position behind me before slipping one inside, the feeling of his rings making me stiffen. 

My head was turned to the side so I could gaze up at him over my shoulder. However, he wasn't looking at me. His eyes were trained hard on his finger pumping in and out of my pussy, the sounds of my arousal overpowering the sounds of my panting. Seeing the desperation on his face as he tried to hold himself back made me push my ass closer to Andy. 

“Use your words, Riv,” he ordered while flicking his eyes to me for a moment. 

I shook my head, words foreign when he slipped another finger inside of me, spreading them wide like a V. 

“Did you forget how to speak?” 

Andy clicked his tongue against his teeth, ready to pull his fingers out when my begging halted him. 

"You. I just want you."

The bed shifted behind me when I noticed Andy disappear only to feel the wetness of his tongue press against my pussy to lick my arousal. The sharpness of his teeth scraped along my clit as he buried his face deeper into the sweet spot between my legs. 

“You still taste so good, River,” he mused, pressing gentle kisses on the inside of my thigh. 

“Don’t stop,” I all but whined, wanting to feel his tongue again. 

Andy ate me out from behind with both hands on my hips, continuing to keep me in place as my body writhed on the bed from the onslaught of his mouth. When his lips wrapped around my clit to suck hard on the sensitive bud, I screamed out his name. 

“Andy,” I drowned it out with a moan. “It’s so good. I’m so close.” 

With the indication my orgasm was on the brink of collapse, he slipped a finger inside of me again. While his mouth was a rough attack on my clit, his finger was a gentle caress of my inner walls with slow strokes. Sheer ecstasy was slowly building at the base of my spine, warming up all of my senses until I felt like I could combust at any moment. Andy flicked his tongue over my clit and I buried my face into the pillow, the musky scent of my wellness tickling my nose as my body shook out my orgasm. My cries of release sounded like music to Andy’s ears as he hummed in praise, drinking up my arousal as it gushed over his tongue and fingers. 

It had been so long since I had an orgasm that wasn’t brought on by my hand or a toy. I lay limp on the bed, breathless, as the after-shocks slowly began to fade along with the hazy bright lights, my soul returning from wherever it retreated to. I barely felt the kisses upon my thigh and then lower back as Andy dragged a finger down my spine. 

“Still on birth control?” He asked, lust gone from his voice for a second. 

I nodded while glancing over my shoulder and seeing my arousal coating his lips. The sight was so intoxicating that I almost uttered those three words that plagued my existence since I first met him. 

“River,” he tapped my back, bringing me out of my thoughts. 

“Implant,” I replied. 

My head leaned back in pure bliss when Andy dug his nails into my hips as he pressed himself past my wetness, the thickness of his cock filling me. It twitched inside of me, earning a disgustingly desperate groan from me. 

It felt nothing like it did ten years ago. It felt better. 

Andy left no space between us as he held us in place on the small mattress and I tried to move my hips in his grip. It was so rough, I knew I would have bruises later but frankly, I didn’t care. All I cared about was how good it felt to have him inside of me again. 

“So tight, angel. I can’t-.” 

His eyes fluttered shut as his lips parted to an 'O' shape when I rocked my hips against him with my swollen clit rubbing against the cool blanket and I shivered at the sensation. Everything from our fight to our kiss sent me in a spiral of pure ecstasy and I felt the coil in my stomach pulling tight again. My previous orgasm was still lingering and it didn’t take long before I felt that familiar tingly feeling in my spine. 

“Andy, I’m going to-.” 

Still inside of me, he managed to flip me over so now I was staring up at those dark eyes; pupils blown wide with lust. Now, Andy didn’t hold back as he hooked my leg up and around his shoulder so he could thrust in a deeper angle. 

“Oh god,” I closed my eyes, the new sensation causing the coil to hurt. 

“Eyes on me, River!” He snapped with a low growl and I immediately obeyed. "You're so fucking beautiful, angel. I’m sorry I left you. I’m sorry it’s been ten years.” 

I didn’t want to hear his apology. I only wanted to have that coil spring free with my second orgasm. I attacked his lips with such force Andy had to hold himself up with one hand on the headboard, the other slipping between the place where our bodies met to play with my clit; exactly how I liked. Our tongues explored each other's mouths in a kiss so vicious it made my head spin.  Andy’s pace was erratic and merciless but it didn’t stop me from begging. 

"More," I mumbled into his lips.

That's all he needed before he maneuvered us so he sat in the middle of the bed with me in his lap and he held me closer to his chest as his hips snapped up into me in violent strokes, the head of his cock hitting that perfect spot. I yelled out my pleasure, exposing my neck to Andy who immediately attacked it with his teeth leaving bite marks all along the skin sticky with sweat.

My body hummed in a prayer-like awaking, the flames and heat burning high in my belly as my organs crested higher; so fucking high I was afraid I would combust into nothing but matter in the air. His name fell from my lips in devotion, a woman praying to her God, and my toes curled as the orgasm ripped through me with so much force I screamed out in pure nirvana.

“I love you, River,” Andy professed with a strangled breath as he spilled himself inside of me, cock throbbing with his release. 

“What did you say?” I questioned, almost unsure if I had heard him correctly. 

He cupped my cheek, eyes softening. “I love you.” 

My bottom lip trembled at those three words; the words I wanted to hear for years. 

“I’m sorry it took me so long to say it,” Andy brushed away my hair from my face. “But it’s true. I’m at a better place where now admitting it out loud doesn't scare me.”

We stayed like that, bodies tangled together in the silence for a few long moments until he laid us on the bed. I very quickly detached myself from him so I could put some space between us. 

Although he admitted how he felt, I wasn't ready to yet. I knew that I loved him ever since high school, but it was my turn to be afraid of what would happen if I admitted it out loud.

Instead, I remained silent while lying on my stomach on the bed, resting my chin on my hand to gaze down at his tattoos again. One of them immediately caught my attention and I smiled at it, a fond memory cresting to the surface. 

“I remember being with you when you got this,” I whispered while trailing a finger over the black and yellow Batman logo on his arm. 

“I still have the comics you got me for my birthday,” he said while propping his arm behind his head. 

My heart skipped at that because it meant that he was thinking of me during our time away.

“But you couldn’t come to see me,” I muttered under my breath as I turned from him. 

Andy reached for me to pull my back to his chest and lock me into place with a leg over my hips. His left hand grazed up and down my arm, sending shivers all over my skin, and I let out a soft breath. 

“Will you stay with me, River?”

I sat on his question for a few long beats, letting it sink in if it was something I truly wanted. My life in Hollywood wasn’t set in place, I’d always been on the move. But the thought of uprooting everything to be with Andy scared the shit out of me. How could I trust that he won’t leave me again? 

Then why did you sleep with him? You plan on leaving after this, so you’re no better than him.

“Why now?” I sat up to gaze down at him, his arm falling away from me. “How come now you want to make things work between us?” 

He hesitated with inner turmoil eating away inside as he slowly sat up and ran a hand over his short hair. 

“I was married for six years. The divorce was finalized last year.” 

My heart sank into the depths of my stomach; no farther. It fell straight to Tartarus. 

“We were together for a total of eight years but the longer our relationship went on I began to realize it wasn’t what I wanted. Who I wanted,” Andy explained. 

There was absolutely no reason for me to be upset with him because while he was married, I had been casually dating. None of them were ever serious enough to last more than a few months. But it still caused an ache in my heart. 

“Then why did you stay with her for as long as you did?” I asked. 

Andy has a soft smile. “I loved her, in a different way than I love you. But sometimes that kind of love isn’t enough. Not when someone else held my heart first.” 

Tears burned in my eyes and I blew out a shaky breath. “If that were true, Andy, then you would have come to me first. You wouldn’t have gotten married.”

Removing myself from his grasp, I began slipping on my discarded pieces of clothing while he continued to sit in bed, naked. 

“I’m not saying I’m perfect, River. But I’ve grown a lot in the last few years. The Andy you used to know wouldn’t have been good for you.” 

“And now?” I asked with my hands on my hips. 

The smile that played on his lips grew wider. “Now, I would love to have you come on the road with me. We leave in a few days for our North America leg then jump overseas for a few weeks. Plenty of time to make up for old times and prove I’ve changed.” 

I laughed. “You want me to stop what I’m doing here to come follow you? Give up potential jobs? Just to be your roadie?” 

Andy’s jaw twitched but with a deep breath, he gathered himself from the bed and stepped back into his briefs and pants. 

“You can be our photographer. I’ll talk it over with our management team, that way you can be getting paid.” 

I pursed my lips in consideration because his offer was a pretty good one. But was it worth spending all that time together?

You love and miss him. 

I sighed at the voice in my head, knowing it was true. Seeing him again brought up all the old feelings I spent years burying, trying to forget, and it was clear that Andy still felt the same.  

“You remember all the plans we made? When we were hoping for better days? You wanted to become a photographer and I wanted to sing in a band. We have that now. What’s stopping you from saying yes?” He took a small step towards me. 

“The promise you betrayed,” I said flatly.  

Andy’s shoulders fell. “You don’t have to forgive me for leaving you, Riv. But I swear to you that if you come with me, I will spend every day from here on out proving to you that you’re all I want.” 

When I didn’t say anything, he wrapped his arms around me and oh so gently, laid a kiss on my lips. 

“I love you, River Murray,” he professed. “We can start over; fresh. But only if this is something you want. If not, then we can both leave with some closure and go our separate ways.” 

I couldn’t explain the way my heart physically ached with the thought of leaving tonight and forgetting about Andy. Even with all the anger and hurt, I couldn't imagine acting like tonight didn’t happen. Maybe there was a small possibility that we could work through our issues, gain that trust back, and finally find what we were desperate to have. 

But the betrayal weighed heavy in my soul along with the fear of Andy doing it again, only this time while I was with him and leaving me stranded. 

“River, if you’re with Andy, can you have him come to set? We’re ready to start again.” 

I jumped at the sudden loud crackle of the radio, Vincent’s voice breaking through the clouds of confusion. 

With a sigh, Andy slipped back into his shoes and jacket. 

“Let’s get back to work, yeah? We can talk more about this on the next break,” he said. 

I swallowed the waver in my voice as it broke. “I’m actually going to sit here for a bit since I’m not needed right now.”

Andy’s thumb brushed along the soft skin of my cheek. “I’ll be back as soon as I can, angel.” 

He left me with a kiss on the cheek and for the first time since reuniting with Andy, I fell to the ground with sobs wracking my body. Everything I worked hard to overcome was shattered by those three words and his offer. It terrified me to completely allow him in again but I also didn’t want to let him go. 

The decision was made in an instant as I rose from the floor, hastily wiping away the tears, and gathered my things together. I knew what I chose would have repercussions, some I may never recover from, but as the door of the trailer slammed behind me, it would be alright. Because my heart said it would be. 

[disappointmentofthefam]

Love?Love. (part 4)

Andy Barber x Reader

warnings-kind of a slow, filler chapter, nothing much happens but its important to thee plot ig WHATEVER.

Paralyzed.

Y/n was paralyzed in her place.

"Hello? Please move out of the way," Laurie pushes her way through her, "who even are you?" She grimaces.

Unable to answer the woman with the mountain-sized lump in her throat and the squeezing of her heart, y/n runs out of the house.

Girl grief is ugly. There is no smoking-out-the-balcony-in-just-her-panties or the sexy-dancing-in-her-bedroom-while-planning-revenge. No, the movies had gotten it all wrong.

Girl grief consists of puffy eyes, a bloated face, runny nose, ugly thoughts and very unkind assumptions about one's own self.

you're so stupid, so so so so so stupid!

look at yourself, she cries in front of her bathroom mirror, you're so ugly.

she pinches the extra mass on her stomach, how did you even assume you meant something to him?

She excuses herself from dinner, "im not hungry,mom!" while clutching her chest and sobbing into the pillow.

he had a wife the entire time. Of course he did! He would never ever go for me! Laurie is so skinny, she's porcelain, so perfect. I don't compare! I can't compare to her! she's her and I'm ME.

she lies in her bed awake the entire night, playing those moments with Andy over and over again, trying to find solace in the warm memories.

…………………………………………………………………………….

Back at The Barber's residence

"Laurie?" Andy's eyes widen in surprise and concern for y/n, "What are you doing here? Where's y/n?"

"y/n huh? Is that the name of the girl you were plannin on fucking tonight?" Laurie's voice is filled with malice and contempt.

Andy's fists clench at the way his ex describes y/n, "One,that's none of your business and two, she's not just some girl who I wanted to fuck."

"Jesus, Andrew," Laurie gives him a vicious smile, "You're going to fight with your wife over some dumb piece of ass?"

This fucking did it for Andy, As he lurches forward and grabs her wrist "I dare you, fucking say that again."

Laurie snatches her hand from his tight grasp, "Whatever," she rubs her wrist, "i don't give a fuck about her, I'm here to see my son."

"He's in his fucking room," Andy gives her a sarcastic smile, "and by all means, do not make yourself comfortable in my home." With that he leaves the house, and calls y/n.

His relationship with Laurie was um……….. as diplomatic as it could be, for the sake of their son. He could barely tolerate her presence, especially after she constantly treated him like her own personal trash can, putting him through the worst, over and over again throughout the rough course of their marriage.

And still she just wouldn't go away!

fuck y/n pick up,angel

…………………………………………………………

18 missed calls and 23 (unopened)text messages later, Andy decides he can't risk losing her.

He finds a girl who despite all the horrors of life, shines like a ray of motherfucking sunshine,the only woman Andrew Barber would embarrass himself for. No way he was going to lose her, not without a fight.

So there he is. At her doorstep as he rings the doorbell.

"Yes?" A woman, Y/n's mother, he guesses, opens the door, "Mr. Barber! Welcome, welcome," she extends a warm invitation.

So this is who y/n gets her sweet soul from

"Another time, Mrs. y/l/n," Andy returns a small smile, "is y/n here?"

"Yes, yes, she's up in her room, did you need anything?"

"Yeah….uh….." Think, Andy, think, "yeah I needed her help with uhhh…. she told me that I could borrow this book from her….. it's about uhh….historic politics."

historic politics? that's the best i could come up with? HOW AM I EVEN A LAWYER

Her mother disappears upstairs for a moment, and then returns with a tight lipped and disappointed smile, "I'm sorry but she's feeling a little sick right now, maybe you could come back tomorrow?"

With droopy shoulders,Andy gets into his car, because going to his house was not an option,not until Laurie was out of there.

………………………………………………………………………..

The next morning, Y/n goes to unbelievable lengths to avoid running into Andy. Although she does receive a bouquet of sunflowers, sent anonymously, with a small handwritten letter attached to it:

"Angel, please give me a chance to explain, I promise it's not what it looks like."

that's literally the classic phrase of a cheating man, I'm not falling for it

"Come on,y/n, we both know you deserve better than being someone's mistress,"her best friend had said, "flowers will never change the fact that he has a wife."

y/n even goes as far as to tutor Jacob at her house.

Jacob is a little confused as to why y/n brought him here. " So, what happened with you and dad-"

"Nuh-uh,the only questions i will entertain are about nomenclature."

……………………………………………………………………………..

As the night falls, y/n can't help but get a little curious about Andy.

is he doing okay? who am i kidding,he's probably unaffected.

how could he be so okay?

tears well in her eyes once again.

how could he be so okay while i can't even digest half of a toast without throwing it up!

As curiosity gets the best of her, y/n slowly peeks through the curtains in her room,getting the full view of Andy's bedroom through his unshielded window.

Damn! doesn't this man have a sense of privacy?well,shit, what else could you expect from a two timer, rich,white man.

Suddenly, Andy appears into her view, he's wearing nothing but a towel, lowly hanging from his pelvis.

His hair looked wet, framing his forehead gracefully.

His arms flexed as he took another towel and started drying his hair off.

Fuck you, Andy, you're making it really really hard for my self respect!

………………………………………………………………………….

Over the course of the next five days, y/n continues with her little routine of trying everything in her power to avoid Andy while more and more bouquets pile up in her room with different notes attached every day:

"take your time angel, you know I'll be waiting for you."

"i loved the way your lips felt on mine."

"angel, You're driving me crazy."

and so on.

"Why does she have to be so stubborn?"Andy grimaces as he settles down on the sofa with a beer in his hands.

"Look at you! Andrew Barber, finally at the mercy of romance." Sam, his best friend quips from beside Andy.

A few beers in, Sam's mind sparks with an idea,"I'll throw a party at my house this weekend!"

Andy rolls his eyes, "My love life is literally in the burning pits of hell and you want a party?"

"No, dumbass, I'll invite Y/n too!"

Andy sits up straight,an eager smile on his face, "YES! A party it fucking is then!"

See you soon, angel

[2knightt]

heyyy i love ur acc. SM. do u think u could do johnny x reader w some type of argument or the gangs reaction to having an argument?? like i dunno some one tryna come onto johnny and reader throws a lil bitch fit? IF NOT LITERALLY JUST IGNORE THIS LMFAAOA LOVE YA

↳you the fucking coldest₊˚✧

➬ johnny cade x fem!reader

a/n; THANK U OMFG!!! ILYT!!! ALSO I GOT TOTALLY CARRIED AWAY LMFAO IM SICK AND BORED SO. also,,,SORRY I DIDNT ADD IN SOMEONE GOING ONTO JOHNNY I HAD NOTHING FOR THAT LOL

you and johnny were the perfect couple, but every couple has their rough patch.

you had heard that your cousin was in, the two of you were real close before he moved up north.

but it���s not like you were gonna see ‘em. too lazy, you said.

one day, you were just chilling on your couch. it was hot in oklahoma, but who’s surprised? it’s always hot.

but this time, it was so bad you wanted to go into soc territory just for the pool they got.

you were about to say fuck it and go, until you heard a knock.

all your friends and johnny just come in, they should know that by now.

you sighed and got up and walked towards the door.

“hey, y/n! long time no see?”

“ANDY?”

your cousin just smiled and opened his arms, welcoming you in for a hug and you gladly took it.

you dragged him into your house where you talked for hours, catching up, reminiscing about the old days, laughing, all that good stuff.

the next day, it was still unbelievably hot.

so, you and andy thought it’d be funny to go into soc territory for at least an hour of being cool.

jam packed in there, you joked about how you felt like a fish in a sardine can.

the two of you got in after andy started scolding you for not putting on sunscreen.

you and him had so much fun! so much fun that you forgot about the people around you, like johnny’s friends.

two-bit thought it’d be funny to be a well known grease in a soc’s pool.

until he saw you, laughing with some GUY in the pool! splashing, chasing each other and basically flirting!

so you better believe he rushed right over to the curtis house to see johnny cade sittin’ on the couch.

“JOHNNY! I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING IT’S IMPORTANT.”

“wo-woah, calm down two-bit. what is it?”

“I’M PRETTY SURE YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS CHEATING ON YOU! I SAW HER IN THE POOL WITH SOME GUY! THEY WERE BORDERLINE FLIRTING TOO!”

and johnny’s world came crushing down.

he was devastated, but even that would be an understatement.

was he not good enough? was he too quiet? too shy? did he not take you on enough dates?

the poor boy was on the verge of crying, ‘till dallas winston came in and started shouting some nonsense.

“how ‘bout we go pay your broad a visit later? right when they come back, huh?”

“why?”

“to confront her, ya dummy.”

his friend said, smacking the top of his head lightly.

and pay you a visit they did!

you put on your cousin’s favourite movie, made some popcorn, gave him his favourite soda, and right when you got comfortable, you heard another knock.

weird, again.

you opened the door with a sigh to see your boyfriend and dallas winston right behind him.

johnny looked pissed while dallas looked…normal.

his friend bent down and whispers something in his ear and walked off.

“so, where were you? at the pool?”

“yeah? wait—how’d you know?”

“oh so you don’t even TRY to hide it?! cheatin’ on me in public, y/n?! are you fucking kidding me??”

he shouted at you as you scrunched up your face.

cheating?? with who??

“what? i wasn’t cheating on you?! i never would, johnny! be serious right now.”

“i bet you have him in here right now. two-bit told me how he looked. wouldn’t be a problem if i looked, right?”

he said, squeezing his way into your house.

he locked eyes with andy real fast.

“…are you fucking with me, y/n?”

“what? that’s my cousin.”

“yeah fucking right!”

he threw his hands up in the air and stormed out of the place while you tried to explain.

he just slammed the door shut, leaving you speechless.

you cried and cried on your cousins shoulder while he apologized for not speaking up.

the next day, you went on a hunt for johnny cade.

you found him in the lot, he looked like he was cryin’.

“johnny? johnny please let me speak.”

all he did was give you the stink eye and walk away.

you kissed your teeth and rolled your eyes.

if he didn’t wanna hear you out, fine.

let him be like that.

dallas knew he fucked up. he knew he fucked up real bad.

he caught a glimpse of what he thought was your side fling through the window but he noticed, he looked an awful lot like you.

dallas winston went on his own misson, to find your mother.

he found her at her workplace and he dropped the question that’s been on his mind.

“hey, uh, mrs.l/n.”

“oh my! hello dallas, lovely to see you again.”

“yes, yes you too. uh, do you know this guy that’s been at your house? has brown hair, tall, sorta looks like y/n.”

“oh, andy? that’s my nephew. he’s just the sweetest! you should go talk to him, he’s visiting this crummy old city for awhile.”

ah shit. shitshitshit.

he just ruined your guy’s relationship!

scratch that—two-bit just ruined your relationship!

he ran while thanking your mother, he ran his ass alll the way to two-bits home.

he knew he’d be there, drinking, watchin’ mickey mouse, and whatever other bullshit he does.

dallas barged into his home and shouted for his friend, only to find him on the floor.

“what d’ya want, dal?”

“you fucked up, you fucked up realll good.”

“what?”

“that was her COUSIN YOU DOPE.”

fuckkkk.

how was he supposed to know?

and that’s exactly what he asked, after the feelings of guilt washed over him.

“how was i supposed to know?”

“i knew with just one look! how couldn’t YOU TELL?!”

“WELL SHOOT WHAT’RE WE GONNA DO NOW?!”

two-bit asked, jumping up to his feet.

dallas licked the inside of his cheek while looking of to the side.

“i dunno, explain it to johnny?”

“if they end things for real, i ain’t never believin’ in love again.”

dallas shook his head as two-bit walked through his door. he couldn’t help but agree with his friend.

they drove until they seen him walkin’ around, lookin’ like a bum.

“hey, johnny! get in! we gotta talk.”

johnny nodded and got in the back seat.

“we gotta talk about y/n.”

he groaned and leaned his head back against the head-rest, looking up.

“seriously? can’t we talk about somethin’ else?”

“no, johnny! we messed up.”

it’s too late for ‘mess ups,’ now.

johnny rolled his eyes and got out of the car while dallas chased after him.

“hey, man. we’re being serious.”

“how much she pay you?”

“nothing! i ain’t spoken a word to her.”

“yeah right.”

dallas sighed as johnny started walking in the opposite direction.

he walked to two-bits car and knocked on the window and two rolled it down.

“go n’ find y/n and tell her johnny’s sorry. he ain’t yet, but he’s gonna be when i tell everyone else.”

two-bit nodded and drove off while dallas started walking to the curtis house.

steve and soda were off work, ponyboy wasn’t in school since it’s the summer, and it’s the weekend so darry can’t work.

he basically kicked the door down, and shouted for everyone to get into the living room, NOW.

“what is it, dal?”

“yeah, what happened?”

dallas sighed and said answered their questions,

“johnny and y/n broke up over a the uh,”

“the cheatin’? yeah we heard.”

“yea..can’t believe she’d do that.”

“but she didn’t. that was her goddamn cousin. even asked her mom to confirm.”

the house erupted into gasps and groans.

“so what do we do?”

“convince them to talk to each other. they gotta come ‘round sooner or later.”

they annoyed johnny, and they annoyed you.

your whole days were filled with the gang shoutin’ your name, but you thought it was to argue over the false accusations.

so you walked the other way, and johnny did the same.

until, sodapop and steve finally cornered you.

“if you guys are here to yell at me, i ain’t no cheater!”

“we know, jeez.”

oh. now you kinda seem like a douche.

“oh. so, what do you want?”

“TALK TO JOHNNY, PLEASE!”

“PLEASE!!! IF YOU DON’T I’LL UH—I’LL BREAK UP WITH EVIE!”

“what the fuck, steve?”

“go with it, soda.”

they whispered to each other, while still glaring at you.

“yeah’ an-and i’ll kill ponyboy!”

“okay not that far.”

steve said, turning to look at soda.

you giggled to yourself watching their banter. you kinda missed them, just as much as you missed johnny.

“does he even wanna talk to me?”

“uh-totally!”

“yeah girlfriend! let’s go to my house! he’s there, just bawling!”

even though you were confused at the nickname, you still went with the two best friends.

you three walked into the curtis house where you seen ponyboy rubbing johnnys back while they sat on the couch.

he was sittin’ with his head down and his hands intertwined.

they pulled darry’s chair so it was right in front of johnny.

steve sorta, pushed you into the chair.

johnny looked up and soda wasn’t lying. he had looked like he’s been crying.

the gang walked into darry’s room to leave the two of you alone.

you were the first out of the both of you to speak.

“i-i’m sorry johnny.”

“no-no. i’m sorry, y/n. i’m sorry i ain’t believe you, i don’t know why i acted like that. it was so stupid of me. and i still love you, i really do.”

you smiled and got out of the chair to sit next to johnny.

“that was real stupid of you. next time, just let me talk, okay?”

“i will. i swear, i’ll be a better boyfriend. just give me another chance.”

you kissed his cheek and grinned at his shocked face.

“couldn’t imagine being with anyone else, but you.”

you guys were having a sweet moment, just staring into each others eyes, living in the moment.

until you heard cheers.

“YESS!!”

“FINALLY!!”

“good for you guys.”

“I DON’T HAVE TO BREAK UP WITH EVIE!!”

“AND I DON’T HAVE TO KILL PONYBOY!!”

“wait, what?”

may 27th, 2023. 8:56PM

[joannaliceevans-fanficblog]

Evermore: Part. Five

A/N: Hi everyone! I just wanted to give a quick shoutout to everyone who is liking this so far! I love you all!

Also, this is last chapter for this part. The next part is going to Part. Two of Evermore! Thank you

Warnings: There is a bit of smut here. Very light! Dirty talking etc.

Before I go on, I just wanted to give a quick shout out my besties @hollybee8917 ! For this wonderful moodboard and for edting! love you girl!

Captain Ari Levinson x Reader, and Lieutenant General Andy Barber.

The Levinson home was filled with friends and family. Especially Ari's friends from his platoon. Chloe was taken care of by her aunts and cousins. You made your rounds, greeting everyone who has made it. Sympathy words were given, flowers and cards too. 

During the graveside, you did your best to hold it together. Watching Father Duncan with the prayer was okay. What got to you was when the twenty-one gun salute was held, Amazing Grace played. When an honor soldier bent down and handed you the folded flag, you lost it. 

You stayed behind and sat in front of his casket. You didn’t have the heart or the strength to say goodbye yet. You placed your hand onto his casket, and lay your head down. You cried your heart out, letting him know how much you loved him. You felt hands on your shoulder. 

“Y/N, it's time, they need to “ You heard Andy say.

“No!” You muttered. 

“Y/N, come on honey.” You heard that soothing voice from your friend Holly. You then gathered all the strength you had left and got up. But as you did, the pain in your heart grew and then your heart left you. 

**

Later in the night, as everyone left, you descended the stairs after placing Chloe to bed. As you did, Andy was waiting for you at the bottom. He had his bag in hand and was looking up towards you. 

“Oh, I thought you were staying for the night?” You asked as you made the final step. 

“I was, but I got a call. I need to leave tonight for a VERY big case.” Andy replied. 

You looked at him and smiled.

“Oh well-“ You said. 

Andy sighed reached for your hand and hugged you.

“Look, I know this is a bad time. But-“

“I know, but it’s okay. Your Mr. Hot Shot Barber. Go on, but can you promise something?” You asked.

“And what’s that?” Andy asked. 

You sighed and swallowed, “Just don’t forget about us? I know your cases take a long time. But our friendship is the only thing left of Ari.” You said. 

“Y/N, you know I wouldn’t. You're my best friend, and I can’t lose that. I don’t know how long that will take but don't worry. Just live your life, live for your daughter and Ari. I know it’s going to hurt and it’s going to be tough. But you are a strong woman and the strongest I’ve known.” 

Once again you burst into tears. Andy is right. It's going to be a tough and long road without Ari. But you are strong. 

You need to live for Ari and your daughter.

The next morning, you were having breakfast with your parents, Holly and some of your family that stayed overnight. It was a rough night. Each time you closed your eyes, Ari would come to you and you would cry. 

There was a knock at the door while you were in the middle of feeding Chloe. Your dad sat up and headed to the door. He opened the door and a familiar voice came through. You looked toward the entranceway from the kitchen to see Sam in his uniform with a box in his hands. Your mom knew what it was and placed her hand on top of yours. 

“Go on honey, I’ll finish up.” 

Your mom said and you sat up. You wiped your hands and followed Sam. You took him out to the front porch and sat down. You watched as Sam placed the box in front of him.

“Hi Sam.” You said quietly, knowing what this was about. 

“I assume you know what this is about,” Sam said as he took his hat off. 

“I have an idea.” You said and Sam sighed. 

“These are most of the things Ari had with him in his apartment in Germany. And before I hand over the things, I need to give you this.” Sam said as he took out a medium-sized leather box and a small leather box. He placed the bigger one down and handed you the small box. You took it and ran your fingertips around it and opened it. Tears came down your face as Ari’s dog tags appeared along with his wedding ring.

“He never wore his ring in combat, and he would always place it with his dog tags. He told me that it was close to his heart.” 

You then placed the little box down and Sam handed you the bigger one. 

“This one is a special one.” Sam paused and opened the box. In the box was a Purple Heart. 

Your heart fell and you burst into tears. 

“In honor of Ari Levinson and on behalf of the President of the United States and the United States Army, we present to you the Purple Heart that would have been given to him had he survived,” Sam said. 

You took the box into your hands and held it close to you. 

Once Sam had left, the front door opened and your parents and Holly came out with Chloe in her arms. Your mom took a seat next to you and you placed your head down on her shoulder. Your mom wrapped her arm around your shoulder and she kissed your forehead.

“Is that his stuff from Germany?” Your dad asked. 

You nodded, without saying anything. 

Later that afternoon, Holly left for the day and your parents took Chloe out so you could spend time for yourself. You sat inside the house, staring at the box in front of you. You have been staring for at least 20 minutes scared to see what’s inside. You didn’t even know what you were afraid of. He never cheated on you and you were sure of that. 

Letting out a long sigh, you reached over with a knife and cut the tape then looked inside. As you did, you took out the books that he read, photo albums, and pictures of his platoon. But as you got to the bottom, there were picture frames. One of when Chloe was only 3 months old, another when you were still in the hospital and holding her right after her birth. Then there was one that caught your eye. It was at the beach in Cape Cod and Sarge was next to you. The sun was about to set and Ari caught that beautiful moment. You knew he took the picture but told you that it was blurry.

**

One Month Later:

You were lucky enough that the preschool that you taught at gave you all the time you needed. You were still grieving, but you couldn’t just stay home, cry, and mope around. Your parents offered to watch Chloe when they could and your neighbors stepped in when you went to work. 

It’s been a whole month since you lost Ari and it’s been a roller coaster of emotions. One day you were fine and smiling. And the next thing you would lay in bed, holding onto Ari’s pillow and his beloved West Point Hoodie. 

But today, you were having a good day. You woke up, went to go take your morning shower, and went to wake up your daughter. Your parents will be here soon and your dad is going to do some maintenance around the house. By the time you got ready, your parents were in the kitchen. As you hit the last step, you noticed a picture frame from the time you and Ari attended the Army Ball in North Carolina. As you looked at it, you smiled to yourself and let out a giggle. 

**

Two Years Ago

After a 3 hour delay from Boston to Atlanta, then from Atlanta to Fayetteville, you finally made it. You got your luggage from the carousel and headed out to the warm North Carolina afternoon. You got a message from Ari that he was on his way and you told him your location. Five minutes later, his big GMC truck appeared and you playfully rolled your eyes. Ari pulled over and placed his car in park. You saw him get out of his car and he was wearing his green shirt, combat boots and pants. You dropped your luggage and Ari scooped you into your arms. Your legs wrapped around his waist and showed your husband with kisses. 

“Ari Bear, you stink.” You say as you place one last kiss on his lips and he lowers you down. Ari laughed and he took your luggage. 

“Sorry, I just got out of Humvee,” Ari said as he placed your luggage into the back seat and opened your door. You got in and he closed the door. 

“So is that Amy gal going to be there?” You asked, laughing. 

Ari smiled and let out a giggle, “Amy Ryan? The one that still is trying to flirt with me? Yeah, she will. Why? Are you jealous or something?” Ari asked, looking towards you. You turned and laughed.

“Me jealous? Oh no! But seriously, I just think it’s funny as hell.” You said laughing again, “Plus I trust you, Mr. Levinson.” 

Ari placed his hand on your thigh and you put your hand on top of his. 

“You know I love you more,” Ari said, lifting your hand and kissing it.

“I know and I love you more.” You said. 

After getting some good BBQ, Ari drove to his apartment close to Fort Liberty. You wanted to get some rest before getting ready for tonight. 

**

Your legs bent towards your breasts spread wide open. Ari’s hands gripped his hands on the headboard of the bed. The mattress scraped against the carpet and the wall. One of your arms wrapped around his back and your other grazed your fingertips along his chest hairs.

Ari thrust harder, making his hips slap against you going deeper into you. With each hard thrust, you moaned.

“Fuck- so good baby-“ 

You then felt your body heat up, and that familiar feeling rising in you. You then pressed your heels against his back and made him go in deeper. Your hands gripped the cool thin bed sheets and Ari held onto your hips. He paused for a moment and slammed into you. 

“Come, sweetheart, come for me-“ Ari continued his assault into your dripping pussy. 

Your body exploded and you yelled out in your orgasm. Slowing his pace, you moaned even more as Ari spilled his hot spunk into you, coating and filling you full into your womb. Ari then collapsed on top of you and you held him close to you. 

“God I missed you, angel,” Ari said, laying on his side and pulling you close to him. You wrapped your arms around him and you tangled your legs with his. 

**

 At the Army Ball, which was being held at the Fort Liberty Base, you wandered around the crowd. You recognized some of the officers there and held a simple conversation. You then excused yourself to use the restroom. 

Before you walked out of the stalls, you paused for a minute as you heard a conversation.

“Wow, did you see Ari?! He looks so good! I can't wait to get him!" You heard a girl state.

 "Dude he is handsome, but he's married and you have your BF." You heard the other girl say. 

Then you heard a groan and an annoyed sigh. 

 "Nah, I don't care about him or if Ari is married. I get what I want”. 

It wasn’t hard to figure out that she was the one who kept flirting with Ari. And of course, you giggled. It wasn't until you came back to the table that Amy was there sitting next to Ari, flirting. And that's when you too sat next to your husband and flashed your rings. Amy looked towards you, and shot you a “WTF” look. You smiled and placed your left hand next to your cheek, flashing your engagement and wedding rings.

“Oh, hi. You must be Amy? I’ve heard a lot about you.” You say, giving a smile. 

Again Amy looked at you, “Oh really? I haven’t seen you around.” 

Amy gave you a fake smile. Before you could respond, you felt Ari’s hand against yours. 

“Oh, by the way, Amy this is my wife, Mrs. Levinson,” Ari said and you gave your best smile to her. Her hand was still on his thigh and you smiled again.

“Oh, that’s why I haven’t seen you around here,” Amy said, with sparkles in her eyes. 

“Yeah, I live in Boston. And just for future reference, you can keep your hands off my husband's thigh.” You said. 

Amy opened her mouth and closed it. She then removed her hand and sighed. She looked at the both of you, got up, and left the table. 

“You know Mrs. Levinson, you always seem to surprise me,” Ari told you, placing his arm around your shoulders. 

You smiled and turned towards him, “I do, what do you mean by that Mr. Levinson?” 

Ari laughed and leaned in to kiss you. 

“A lot of ladies have come and tried to flirt with me and all have tried to take me away from you. But you never give in. Most ladies I know would think something was up. But you? You just brush it off and laugh.” 

You smiled and leaned against him, “I told you, Ari, I trust you. I don’t need to compete with those girls.”

@jtargaryen18 @hollybee8917 @sarahdonald87 @jamneuromain @princessofdarkwinter

[cassetteinability]

@macrocest cestember prompt: cockwarming / siricissa / 574 words

“Hold still, Cissy,” Bella ordered, brandishing the eyeliner stick like a weapon. “You’re even worse than Andy was.”

“Andy wasn’t—” Narcissa tried, eyes pinching shut in exasperation and frustration. Certainly not in pleasure, the way Sirius was entirely unmoving beneath her. “Andy wasn’t getting fucked while you did her make-up.”

“You’re not getting fucked either,” Bella reminder her, leaning forward and dragging the pencil along Narcissa’s upper eyelid in one smooth, practiced motion. “And Siri’s not going to let you come until you’re all dolled up. Are you, Sirius?”

“I don’t know, Trixie,” Sirius cooed, thrusting up and into Narcissa’s pussy. “She’s so wet right now. I kind of want to feel her come around my cock already.”

Narcissa couldn’t help but moan — at the movement and the words. She was so full, Sirius’ thick cock stretching her wide as she sat on his lap, but he hadn’t moved once since she had inpaled herself on his cock. Not until this one blissful, merciful cant of his hips.

“I’ll make sure neither of you come, if you make me fuck up her make-up,” Bella hissed at Sirius as she rummaged around in her make up bag. Before she could so much as unscrew the cap on the tube of mascara, Narcissa was digging her fingers into Sirius’ thighs and rocking her hips back and forth.

The slide of her wet pussy over Sirius’ length was delicious, but there wasn’t enough pressure to her clit, not enough friction against her nerves.

“Siri,” she cried out, trying to lift her hips up so she could slam back down, but Sirius was wrapping strong arms around her midsection to hold her firmly in place.

Sirius leaned forward and brought his lips to her ear, voice just above a whisper. “Be good, princess.” He licked a stripe up the side of her neck before nibbling at her ear lobe, but his grip around her middle never loosened; he wouldn’t test Bellatrix’s threat.

It felt like hours passed, Sirius’ unmoving cock growing harder inside of her as Bella continued painting her face with the best make-up money could buy, but finally she was done.

“Finish,” Bella commanded, zipping up her things and making her way toward the bedroom door. “We’re late.”

Sirius wasted no time in digging his teeth into Narcissa’s flesh, marking the place where her shoulder met her neck. His fingers found her clit next, and began moving in swift circles just as his tongue darted out to lick over the new hurt.

“Fuck me, Cissy.”

Letting out a soft moan, Narcissa regained purchase on Sirius’ thighs, and lifted her body up. She dropped herself back down, the sound of a breathy groan punching out of Sirius spurring her on to move faster and faster. He rubbed her clit with wild abandon, stimulating every nerve around her center, intoning praise after praise after praise.

It was sloppy and rushed, but all at once they were both coming, screaming each other’s names just seconds before Bella’s sharp “it’s time for dinner.”

Narcissa’s face was sweat-slick, mascara smudged at the edges of her eyes, but she was too blissed out to care about Bella’s wasted efforts. Too full of Sirius’ spend and dotted with too many of his marks to think of anything other than the feel of his body.

That, and the promise of later — of what Sirius would do to her once they truly had the time to play.

[andydrysdalerogers]

Cross-Checked - Chapter 3

Andy Barber x OFC Leighton "Leia" Andrews

Summary:

Andy Barber is having the best year of his life. His game is on point. It’s gets to play with his best friend and his fiancé just... dumped him?!. 

Reeling from a sudden change in status, Andy decides it’s time to just focus on hockey. Until his best friend's sister comes out with news that rock the entire organizations world., 

Andy has always carried a torch for the untouchable Leighton but in her hour of need, is now the time to shoot and score or risk getting cross - checked again? 

Warnings: Cheating (but not by the MCs); slow burn; friends to lovers eventually; SMUT!; pregnancy; jealousy; handsome goalies, evil exes...

A/N: The tag list is open!

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS. Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Banners by me!

Previous: It's That Last Step - Leighton

Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 3 – Luke’s Gonna Kill Me - Leighton 

**Six weeks later** 

The season was off to a great start. Andy and Luke had an epic start to the season in light of everything that happened with Craig. Speaking of Craig, he ended up getting traded to Tampa Bay which made Andy extremely happy. From what I heard from some of the WAGs, Fiona refused to move to Florida with him.  So much for true love.  Last I heard, she took a job in New York.  

Good riddance.  

Andy and I had gotten into a good routine once I finished moving in and so far, I love living with my best friend.  As social media director, I got to travel with the team, so I saw Andy and my brother all the time.  It made dealing with the heart ache that much easier. Bret had left an email letting me know where the stuff I didn’t take with me was and that was about it. No groveling, no asking for me to reconsider. Three years together and that was it. I wasn’t sure if I felt relieved, heartbroken or depressed. Yes, when it happened, I cried on Andy’s shoulder but I think it was the shock of Bret asking me to be his little housewife. On well, life moves on. 

The Bruins were three weeks into the season, and I was packing up for a 10-game road trip when I heard the front door slam. Heavy footsteps hit the stairs and my favorite pair of blue eyes were in my doorway. “Hey princess!” 

Yes, I am well aware mat my parents are big Star Wars fans and named their kids Luke and Leia. After I grew up a bit and Luke and Andy had watched said movies, Andy took to calling me "Princess" no matter how much I objected to the name stuck and here we are. 

“Hey Chewy!” If I had to get an awful Star Wars nickname, then so did he 

Andy threw himself onto my bed. “Ready for the road trip?” 

I sighed as I packed the last packing cube into my suitcase. Yes, I was one of those that used packing cubes. I liked to be organized and plan everything out. Sue me. “Almost,” I replied. “Just got to get my carry-on tote.” 

Andy looked over my bags. “How much shit does one girl need?” He lifted out a cube and I yanked it back. 

“Don’t judge me! Not all of us were born devilish good looking in just a button down and jeans. I need to have options.” I put the cube back into its place as I looked over my packing list. 

“Princess, you are just living up to the title now,” Andy said with a laugh. 

I blushed. “One of these days you’ll need a sewing kit and can’t find one and you’ll be crawling to me for help.” I grabbed a pillow and smacked him with. “And If you continue to be mean to me then no chicken parm for you.” 

  Andy perked up. “Chicken parm?” I knew I had him with his favorite meal   

“Yep with home made garlic bread.” 

Andy flopped down with a moan. “What did I do to deserve you?” I giggled as I made check marks on my list. “Like you clean and cook and all I have to do is my own bathroom and laundry and give money for groceries.” 

“It’s Iike having a girlfriend without all the messiness,” I dead panned. I’m not sure why I said it but it pulled at my heart all the shit that Andy had to go through with the spawn of Satan. It also cut me to know that Andy would never see me as anything other than his best friend. I think that stung more. 

“Hey, its not like that, Princess,” Andy started. “You know that I cherish you more than anyone in the world.” He took my hand and kissed my knuckles. “I didn’t mean with anything my comment. I'm saying that living with my best friend has been the greatest time of my life.” 

Goddammit. Why does he have to say shit like that? I give him a soft smile. “Its been the best time for me too, Chewy.” 

Andy bounced out of bed. “Let’s go eat so we head out to the plane.” He placed himself in front of  me and I climbed on his back so he could carry me down stairs. 

As Andy takes out my bag from the trunk, a body slams into me from behind. “Oof!” 

“Hey girl!” I smile at the voice of Bruins trainer and best friend Stella Williams   

“Hey Stel.” I turned as I grabbed my bag. “I’m all set to be stuck on an overnight flight with my best friend and 30 men who have no sense of privacy.”  I gave a big smile to Andy, who rolled his eyes.  

“Yeah, yeah. If I wasn’t aboard, who will protect you from your brother?” My mouth went to argue but he was right.  Dammit. “That’s what i thought.”  

“You know, I hate you sometimes.” I stick my tongue out at him.   

“No, you don’t.” He flashes that fucking smirk that could make a nun swoon.  

I really don’t but I won’t admit it.  I headed to the plane with my head held high, ignoring the laughter coming from Stella and Andy behind me.  

“Hey little sister!” Luke came over and lifted me into a hug. “How are you, Cubby?” 

While Andy called me Princess, Luke called me Cubby as in his baby cub that he took care of.  Made sense since Lukas Andrews was not a small man. Standing 6 foot 1 and easily 230 pounds of solid muscle, Luke was one of the best enforcers for the Bruins. He protected his players, and he learned that by protecting me.  

“Hey Flyboy.” Oh yeah, if Andy and I had Star Wars nick name, then Luke would have one too. Yes, I know, that’s what Leia called Han but Luke had no good nicknames.  We’ve done the research. One weekend, six movies and Andy forever calling himself “General Solo.”  The man has a problem sometimes. “I’m doing good, attempting to control myself from hurting your captain.”  

“What did Andy do now?”  Luke smiled, looking over my shoulder at his best friend. I harrumphed at his attitude and shoved my suitcase in his gut, bending him over with an oof. “What?” 

“Gang up on me and pay the consequences, Flyboy. Just remember who makes you look good on social media so the ladies think they have a chance.” I flash him my “sugary sweet and so innocent smile that you should fear” smile. His smile falls and he swallows.  

“You are scary sometimes, you know that?” 

“I do, and yet, you still gave me your password.”  I flounced away, taking the stairs up the plane to get to my seat.  The plane is divided into three sections.  Coaches and trainers are usually up front, followed by support staff and then the players. Stella and I are the bridge between support and trainers and sit together on the plane.  As I was getting my headphones and book ready for the flight to California, I stopped and said hello to all the players as they walked by. Most just nod or wave, Andy moved to ruffle my head, which I dodged and smacked his hand as he laughed.  I got myself settled, waiting for Stella. 

“Hey Leia,” another voice sounds. I snap my head over to see one of our goalies, Jeremy, stop at my aisle.  

(Meet Jeremy)

“Hi, Jeremy.” I really don’t know what to say.  Jeremy stopping to say hello to me is new, not unwelcome but new.  He is one of the best goalies in the business and well, fuck it, he’s really cute. “Ready for the road trip?” I ask because I have nothing else.  

“Ready! Always wanted to go to Disneyland,” he said with a wink.  

My dead heart beats just a bit faster.  Its been two months since Bret left and I haven’t even thought of another man, besides Andy.  I forgot what it felt like to be flirted with. “That would be cool if we had the time.” I saw Stella board.  “Oops, here comes trouble!” I announce as Stella approaches.  

“I’ll let you get settled.” Jeremy smiles.  “Maybe we can have a drink sometime. See ya Leia, Stella.” He moved on to his seat and I watched as he walked away.  I caught Andy’s face looking at me and for a moment, he looked angry but then he smiled at me, and I knew it was ok.  

“Why was Jeremy Swayman talking with you,” Stella asked. She loved a good romance story.  

I shrugged. “No clue.”  

Thirty minutes later we were in the air and the team manager was going over the schedule for the next ten days.  A ten-day roadie is brutal in the best of times but one with a huge time difference was the worst. The captain announced we were at altitude and shut off the lights in the cabin.  I needed to try and stay awake so I didn’t get jet-lagged and would be able to snap our arrival in San Jose. Suddenly, my stomach twisted.  “Stel, move please?” 

“We haven’t even had anything to drink yet,” she grumbled slowly.  

“Stella, move!” I whisper yelled.  She moved and I raced up the aisle. I made it into the bathroom and heaved everything we had for dinner. I sank to the floor as I tried to breathe through the pain in my stomach and throat. After a few minutes, I was able to get up and wash my face and mouth as best I could.  

“What the hell was that, Leia?” Stella looked me over.  “Girl, you are pale and clammy.”  

“I have no fucking clue, Stel.  My stomach just hurt all of sudden.”  Great, that was the last thing i needed. I didn’t want to be sick while we were in California.  Early November in California still meant great weather and I wanted to take advantage since fall has already made an appearance in Boston. “I hate being sick on the road.” I threw back my head against the head rest.  

“Maybe it's just a one off, Leia.  It happens.  Let’s just wait and see in San Jose.”  

The rest of the flight was fine and traveling to LA meant that it was only three hours from when we took off according to the body clocks.  The guys were headed to the hotel bar, but Stella and I stayed in, reviewing the photos that i took as we left the plane.  

“These are so good, Leia.  Everyone is looking good.  Especially Swayman, Barber and your brother.”  She gives me a smirk while I gag.  

“Gross Stella.  My brother is not hot.” I make a disgusted face as I look at him.  His cocky smile came because I said I would send the photo to Miranda. I shuddered and looked at the photos of Andy.  The guys are required to be dressed in business casual at minimum.  Most are in slacks and a button down, but Andy is never in less than a three piece.  It's his signature fit and let me tell you, I and the rest of the female population, appreciate it. Today’s was a three piece blue pinstripe. Many blessings to his tailor because that suit fits like a glove.  

“You can stop drooling over Barber and tell me what is going on with Swayman.” Stella takes a drink of the wine we brought with us.  

I feel my cheeks burn a little. “I don’t know.  I know the guys know I’m single now because my brother had a big mouth but that thing with Jeremy is new.”  Very new.  As in, what the fuck is going on.  Jeremy is handsome, I would be blind to deny that but I’m just not ready to date. “It's nice though, to be flirted with.” 

“Andy flirts with you all the time,” Stella points out.  

“He does not.  He’s nice because he’s my best friend, my brother’s best friend. It's been that way for years.” Disappointment washes over me.  “Yeah, right would Andy Barber have a thing for me. I mean, let’s check Stella.  I clean for him, he makes me breakfast.  I make dinner, he does dishes.  We are in a mutually beneficial relationship, and not a romantic one.”  

Stella rolls her eyes.  “You are either blind or naive, Andrews. The man is into you.”  

I lay back on the bed with a sigh.  “I wish.  Especially when he is walking around in just a shirt and gray sweatpants. Or in the mornings when he is climbing out of the pool after his swim.”  

“Tell me,” Stella swoons.  “Tell me he had more than six abs.”  

“I will not.  He has six and they are spec-tac-ular.” I went to sit up and that twist happens again, and I run to the bathroom.  Stella follows to hold my hair back as I have my exorcist moment.  Finally, it stops, and I sit back against that bathroom wall.  

Stella gets a washcloth and wets it.  She crouches down and presses it against my forehead, and I moan at how good it feels. “I don’t mean to upset you but is there something you want to tell me?” I look up at my best friend’s eyes. “I mean, could you be pregnant?” 

I laughed a little.  “Stella, be real.  I haven’t had sex since...” and I stop. I count back and realize that I didn’t have a cycle and I’m late for this month. “Oh, shit.”  

I think Stella can see the panic on my face. “Ok, relax. I’m going to the corner market, and I’ll be right back.  It's gonna be ok. Can I leave you here and promise you won’t do anything drastic?”  I nod because I really can’t say anything. She leaves and I’m alone.  

Why the fuck didn’t I notice before? I mean, I guess the stress of the break up and the move took its toll.  Add on that and work and of course I wouldn’t have notice.  Bret was hyper aware when it was time because he liked to schedule his work trips around it.  He didn’t want to be around for the inevitable break downs and cravings of having your period.  God, he was such a jerk.  Thinking of him made me think of when this possibly could have happened. And it hits me. It had been around Labor Day, and we were fooling around before his work trip. I was that 0.03% of woman who have her contraception fail.  

Stella walks back a moment later and hands me a test.  I stare at it like it's a snake ready to strike my hand and I look up at Stella.  “The faster you do this the faster you can either panic or party.  It's up to you.”  

She’s right and I hate it.  I pee on the stick and set it on its wrapping on the counter.  I walk out and chug about half a gallon of water, in fear, I think. “What am I going to do?” 

“Not yet,” she says. We sit there in silence as we wait for the longest three minutes of my life.  I’m not sure if I want it to be positive.  Yes, I’ve always wanted kids.  But I thought I would be married and happy. I’m happy but I live with my brother’s best friend and what if he doesn't want kids in his home?  What if he asks me to leave? I know my brother would take me in but who really wants to live with their brother?  Miranda just moved in. Stella’s phone beeps and I look at her. “Ready?” 

“No.” She looks at me with her threatening face, which is terrifying by the way, and she points to the bathroom.  I get up, my legs shaking and head to the counter.  

“What am i going to do Stella?” We’re sitting at the restaurant in the hotel the next morning. I’m hungry, which is a nice change from being nauseous.  

“Let’s get through the road trip and then we will plan and worry.”  Stella slathered her toast in jam and then dunks it in her over-easy eggs.  

“If you want me to throw up, do that again,” I say with a gag.  I concentrate on my scrambled eggs and toast for a few minutes.  "Can I just say, I really have no idea how I’m going to tell my brother. He is going to lose his shit,” I stop and blurt.  “I don’t know how I’m going to tell Andy.” 

“Tell me what?”  

NEXT

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[regina-del-cielo]

dreams from birth snippet perhaps???

For sure! <3

Andy shakes her head, fond, then turns to Nicky, who’s looking at her with a steady, patient look in his eyes. “What?” She asks, her tone biting, as if she didn’t know what he’s about. She’s known him since he was born. He doesn’t answer verbally, just tilts his head slightly to the right, his look turning even softer. Andy heaves a sigh, plopping down on the ground, suddenly exhausted. “She’s a clever one, Andy. Her idea isn’t so bad.” Nicky whispers, gently. He knows he’s treading dangerous ground, but he also knows Andy. He knows they can’t ignore the issue forever. “Children always think that everything has an easy solution,” she grumbles, staring towards the horizon. “Even if we could steal a submarine without getting hunted by every military force in the world, we wouldn’t even know where to start looking, Nicolò. You know this, I know this.” Her voice grows tighter, so she stops speaking. “At least she elaborated her dreams in a way that doesn’t put her in danger. Everyone will think she’s just a very impressionable child, and there won’t be any risk.” She concludes, a moment later. Nicky remains silent, hands clasped in his lap. They look at the ocean together. He can feel that something else is weighing on Andy’s heart, and knows how to wait it out. “Do you think she feels it?” She murmurs, after a few minutes, not looking away from the horizon. “Do you think she… she knows there’s another one? That Nile is a happy kid that wants to find her?” Her voice is clogged with tears she hasn’t allowed herself to cry for centuries. “I don’t know, Andy. I can only hope that she felt Sébastien, back then, and that she can feel Nile now.” Nicky answers, keeping his voice as low as hers, out of respect of their shared grief. “I hope she can feel our love through them.” Andy clenches her fists around her elbows, trying to stop herself from breaking down. “I wish it could be as easy as Nile thinks,” she hiccups, biting her lip soon after, hard enough to break the skin. By the time she’s passed her tongue on the injury, it’s already healed. “I miss her so much, Nico.” Nicky lowers himself on the grass next to her and takes her into his arms. “I know, Andromache. Manca anche a me.” He holds her tight as she cries, hiding her face in the crook of his shoulder. He doesn’t let his own tears slip until he feels Joe’s arms around him, his lips soft against his hair. Booker closes the circle, covering Andy’s exposed flank with the bulk of his torso. They don’t need to be told what’s going on. It takes a while before they’re done letting out their grief for Quỳnh. Somewhere in the cold depths of the Atlantic Ocean, trapped in a rusting coffin, Quỳnh holds her breath long enough to bask in the vision of a little girl playing with her stuffed animal, and being kissed on the forehead by a loving mother. Her new sister wants to find her. Quỳnh hits the lid of the coffin with more resolve, and dies again.

[acat-foryournap]

( Susie mckellan was 'born' into play care with her twin Susan mckellan, the two arrived into the playhouse at 5 years old, at an instant Susan became more popular with sports, math and art while Susie was left an outcast, she was often picked last in soccer or on a game making he smiling critters lecture the others in letting other people play with them, feeling like a burden Susie one night snuck out the play house into he garden and cried their for hours until someone came, it was dogday, the Caine seated next to Susie trying to get her to speak upon why she left the play house and was crying, still getting no answer the dog had an idea, he carefully put Susie on his shoulders and walked through the garden with her hoping some fresh air will calm her down

Hearing the child response dogday asked why she was crying earlier, Susie explains about people comparing her to Susan, leaving her out or overall being an outcast

Dogday happily replied about Susan and Susie being opposites of each other and she doesn't need to change, Susie skilled feeling better, she then asked dogday toake a promise to never leave her for her sister which he happily made

B̴̢̠̋̊͑̈̾̑̊͒͗̽u̴̢̠͎̲̗̮̤̥̪̖̦͈͕͛̈́̀̒̒̄̚͠t̵̏͛̃̍́̈̚͜͝ â̸̙͐͑̌̿͛̽ p̸̢̻͓͎̻͙͂͒̋͒̓̃͊̐̔͘͝ŕ̶̛̰̱̈́̀́̑̿̾͛͂̈́͗̓̈́̒͘͝️o̶̯͎̱͐̇͋̅̃̈́͋̽̊̀̓͊̃́͋̓m̶̥͇͈̣̏͑̿͑̃̈͛̕͠i̵̢̢̡͚̩̞̥͕̜̻̫̩̐̈͘͜️ş̵̛̳̍̃̏͆̏̂̎͌͘͝͝͝͝ẹ̷͓̽̍͛̉̐̔͋̓̚͜��̰ m̶̥͇͈̣̏͑̿͑̃̈͛̕͠u̴̢̠͎̲̗̮̤̥̪̖̦͈͕͛̈́̀̒̒̄̚͠️ş̵̛̳̍̃̏͆̏̂̎͌͘͝͝͝͝t̵̏͛̃̍́̈̚͜͝ b̶̖̤̋́̋̾̔͗̆͊̊̆́͑̌͆͊̈́ŕ̶̛̰̱̈́̀́̑̿̾͛͂̈́͗̓̈́̒͘͝️ẹ̷͓̺̰̽̍͛̉̐̔͋̓̚͜â̸̙͐͑̌̿͛̽k̵̨̪̖͇͙͎̜͊̌͘͜ ŕ̶̛̰̱̈́̀́̑̿̾͛͂̈́͗̓̈́̒͘͝️i̵̢̢̡͚̩̞̥͕̜̻̫̩̐̈͘͜ğ̶̡͚̺̼̱̺̘̳̘̩͚̯͔̎̅̍͋̒́̔̈́̎̂͜͜ȟ̸̨̯̲̝̳͓͎̭͖͊̄̔̽̓̂̋̇̋̀̕̚͜t̵̏͛̃̍́̈̚͜͝?

The day the hour of joy happened is when Susie was in the garden, hearing the evacuation she checked to see if the cost was clear, she ran into the playhouse where she saw her twin sister Susan in the living room, never in her life Susie felt happy seeing her sister but before she can run to her the prototype jumped on her, he stabbed her eye out making her scream, she looked at the living room for help only to see dogday save Susan and leave her

She felt betrayed and before she can cry the prototype used it's metal fingers to stretch her skull making her smile widely

She then felt 1006 stab her multiple times making her drown in her own pool of blood but none of those wound could replace the hurt in her heart of dogday leaving her

'He lied... '

She thought before finally drowning in her blood, her body being discovered by Andy Smith who died later on

Now: shes a very angry, sad and insecure ghost who forces a smile on anyone jus like her

Fun fact: Susie is the song washing machine heart by mistuki, especially the why not me part

( end of story)

(Woah :0)

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

➖ Mature content, 18+ ➖ check the trigger tags each time ➖      

Chapter 8 - Runaway. Episode 2.

Evan: *With teary eyes I read the sms from my sister, she had found Andy, he was okay, and she told me where they were. A place I had visited with Andy not so long ago. Why didnt I think to go there yet? I had just assumed he was in town, not in the outer part of it. I quickly sms'ed her back, just a quick 'stall him, I will be there in 10!' and as I slid the phone back down my pocket, I leaned against my bike as the sobbing emmerged from deep inside me. 5 minutes later when I was all cried out, I got back on my bike, dried my eyes and set in the direction of where Lily and Andy were located.* Andy: *He looked up at me with red puffy eyes as I walked towards him and Lily, they were sitting next to each other in the tall grass, he didn't say anything, he just half smiled apologizing, although I didnt think he had anything to apologize for. I slowly sat down next to him, observing him for a short while, to see if he had any bruises or cuts, and finally he spoke, soft and hoarse, it was easy to tell he had been crying and screaming a lot* I'm okay… you dont have to look at me like that. I didn't do anything stupid, and I didnt touch alcohol or any other shit like that. I'm dealing. *He blew a bit of extra air out his nose in a laughing manner and lit a cig* Lily was good company *he winked at her as she smiled to him.* Lily: I tried my best *Her voice was as always calm and caring, and she chuckled softly as she tussled his mohawk, making it messy and even more sexy than normally, which made it hard for me not to smile. She had arrived few days before, to make me aware she had digested me being in a gay relationship, and she was okay with it. And as she said 'now we just wait for the rest of the family to follow'. I had smiled and nodded, but in my heart I knew that wouldn't happen any day soon.* Andy: *He leaned his head on my shoulder, and wrapped an arm around my arm closest to him* I missed you.. Evan: *I gently kissed his hair, sniffing him in as my nose got burried in the now black mohawk, whatching the gentle blue shine in it, which the moon so beautifully played with. It was a great color for him, and although he had only had it a few days, I had already gotten used to it. But that didn't mean I didnt miss his electric blue hair he had had since New Years* Andy: What are you thinking of? *He suddenly looked up at me curiously* Evan: *I chuckled silently* You. As always. Andy: *He chuckled softly and I couldn't help but notice my sister was smiling as if she was watching two puppies playing. Which naturally made me blush, and in return she only smiled even more. And if that wasn't enough, Andy noticed it, grabbed my chin and leaned up to me to plant a soft kiss on my lips, almost whispering as he spoke again* I'm sorry I scared you. Have you been crying? *He tilted his head and looked concerned, then sighed deeply and pressed his hair against my chest, grabbing on to my half open black blazer jacket* I'm so sorry, I just needed to get away, I felt like I was going to explode. It's hard to explain. I felt something inside me I hadn't felt for a while. And I didn't know how that would turn out, so I had to get away from everybody. Evan: *I frowned a bit and looked questioning at my sister, but she only shook her head in return, indicating she didn't know what was going on* Andy: *He let go of my jacket again, and twirled a finger around a strand of my hair* so what did you think about me? Evan: *I chuckled softly, this was one of the moments where he was almost like a child, so soft, so innocent, so pure. I couldn't help but love him a little bit more, wanting to take him in my arms and protect him from the world. I smiled softly and brushed a strand of the mohawk away from his forehead, speaking in a lowered warm voice* I was thinking how proud I am of you. That you didn't hurt yourself, or anything else along that line. Andy: *He nodded softly* I'm trying to do better. Evan: *I smiled softly in return and planted a gently kiss on his forehead* I know you do.

[emeraldcitynerdfighter]

"Look, Mama's home, leoncino," Carina exclaims. She lifts one of Liam's pudgy arms out of his blanket and waves it at Maya. "Ciao, mama!"

Liam giggles -- he's started to giggle now, and smile -- and Andy's words are immediately demoted to the second-best sound she's heard that day.

She was come. She came home.

She almost didn't.

That fear drove her every day, for almost a decade now. Fear actually disguised as motivation and drive.

Now it actually feels like fear.

It all dissipates, though, when her eyes land on her wife and son.

More than Carina, she wants Liam in her arms. Soft and innocent and perfect. She reaches for him and, she swears, he reaches for her, too. Passed off with a kiss for Carina in exchange, she's ushered into the front hallway, and it's the safest she's felt all day.

She holds Liam close, his warm body grounding her, her nose pressed into his sweet-smelling head, as Carina excitedly guides her through the house.

Their house. Small touches of their life -- photographs, throw blankets, relics from Italy -- have already cropped up around the house.

Carina's enthusiasm isn't grating or unwelcome. It's a reminder of her family that exists.

She is real. They are real. They are courageous and whole and real, and deserving of every morsel of joy they can capture.

Everything that those men were not, and would never be.

She isn't paying attention, and suddenly, Carina leads her to Liam's room.

She practically leaps into the room, pride and eagerness radiating from her as she babbles on about what she's accomplished and what she still wants to do. It fills the space, completely absorbing Maya. Somewhere -- maybe a neighbor's, or maybe its in her imagination -- she hears music, thumping and joyful and defiant. She pulls Carina close, their bodies creating a protective cocoon around Liam. She's not sure if Carina can hear it, but Carina at least plays along, swaying in made-up time with Maya, a playful smile stretched across her face.

They dance, the sounds of giggles a balm to her soul. It's nearly enough to make her forget the pain of the day.

But the pain is still there, like a fly buzzing around the room, unable -- unwilling -- to escape.

That's what they wanted, though. They wanted her to feel scared, invisible, small.

Her own brother wanted her to feel that.

How could she, though? She is standing in her son's bedroom, in her wife's arms. How could they ever think they could win, or snuff out the joy built into the very foundation of the room she was standing in?

She will not let them win. Not as long as she can draw a breath and hold her son and kiss her wife.

Eventually, the music fades, the dance slows, and it is time to rest.

Their bedroom is just a mattress with a top sheet on a frame and an empty dresser and Liam's cot, but Maya has never walked into a more welcoming sight. They land on the bed, and Maya pulls her knees up, laying Liam back against her legs, ideal for full, proper adoration from his moms.

Carina has a bottle ready, and Maya offers it to Liam, who sucks hungrily away, finishing it off in a few minutes.

Soon, the only thing she hears is the gentle snores coming from her wife, sleeping soundly for the first time in days. She can't think to move; Carina is snuggled against her shoulder, and Liam is now curled on top of her chest, sound asleep, but needs to be moved to his cot, and she wants to change into her pajamas, and all of the lights are still on in the house…

There is so much she wanted in this world. She wanted the security and protection of success, of glory. If she was the first, the best, nothing could touch her.

She wanted to be good at her job, the best she could be. She wanted to be a good wife.

This -- in a half-furnished house on a bed that only has a top sheet and comforter, surrounded by her family -- is all she wants.

For now, it's all she needs.

Later, Carina will hold her, as she cries, when she wakes in the middle of the night, when the hurt surfaces that even Liam can't heal. And she will hold Carina as relief and anger bubble up from her own sources of sorrow and worry.

And they will hold their son, who will always know what love is capable of, how love can save.

And she'll also call Andy in the morning and tell her she needs to officially start her maternity leave.

But, for now, Maya rests.

And dreams.

And dances.

CARINA, MAYA AND LIAM Station 19: 7x03: 'True Colors'

[leilamarie99]

Finn’s there when you find out that your brothers bonnie is killed

Finn was in his office doing some work when Tommy comes barging in

“Where’s Y/N “

“Why what’s happened is she ok “ Finn panicking

“ it’s bonnie he was killed this morning “

“ she’s at the garrison cleaning with polly “

“ that’s go then “ tommy says Finn following him they got to the garrison and walked and saw polly andY/N laughing and dancing until they stopped when they saw tommy and Finn

“ Y/N you need to sit down “tommy said

“Why what’s going on “

“Babe you need to sit down “ Finn grabbing the chair so you can sit down polly sits down next to you she’s looking at tommy like she knows what going to be said

Tommy got on his knees and grabbed your hands

“ I’m sorry “

“ sorry for what “ Y/N confused what could possibly be so bad

“It’s bonnie”

“Bonnie why what’s happened “

Polly grabbing your hand aswell

“ bonnie and your dad was attacked this morning “

“Are they ok where are they I need to see them “ getting up but tommy grabbing your hand again

“ sit down Y/N “

Sitting down again

“Your dad is fine he came by the house last night “

“What about bonnie “tommy looking at you in the eyes not wanting to say but him looking at you like his telling you the bad new you look at polly she covering her mouth and looking over at Finn his looking down on the floor

“ I’m sorry but bonnie got killed “

“ no “ you stand up Finn went to grab you but you pushed him away until the door to the garrison opened there stood your dad

“ dad “ he had tears in his eyes

Walking over to him

“Tell me the truth “

I’m sorry love “

“No your lying Bonnies not dead “ walking out to the garrison doors until your saw Jeremiah on a horse and a coffin at the back you went to walk over but Isiah grabbed you

“ I’m sorry love “

“Tell me the truth who is it “

“ I’m sorry it’s your brother bonnie “

You suddenly went pale and started to feel faint Isiah grabbed you Finn walked out the garrison and walked over you suddenly fell on the floor

“ NOOOOO” holding on to you while you screamed and cried you could believe your brother your twin brother is dead Finn rocking you

After an hour later

Finn took you home to you and Finns home you were laying on the sofa staring at the fire you haven’t spoke you was still in shock

Polly came around to help Finn nut you was still in shock

“ come on love why don’t we get you in the bath and cleaned up “ picking you up and walking you over to the bath polly washing your hair tears running down your face

“ he was too young to die he was going places you know he always dreamed of always being a boxer going to America making it big taking me with him why did he have to die pol why bonnie “

“ I’m so sorry love he will always be with you”

“ where’s Finn “

“ his in the kitchen Arthur and your dad and some other pesky blinders have gone to find who done this “

“ what’s going to happen now “

“ we will have a funeral for bonnie tomorrow on the field to say our goodbyes you don’t have to go if you don’t want to “

“ no I want too I need to see him “

The next morning everyone was ready for the funeral walking down to the field everyone making a speech until it was your turn to speak

“ my brother my everything he should still be here but I guess god only takes the best he was the best brother by 3 minutes but I would do anything to have him back I love you bonnie you will always be missed I love you much “ crying walking over to Finn everyone finished up then burned him younwalking off with polly to go to the garrison you was sitting on your own drinking some water when Finn camecwalking iver next to you smiling nit saying anything but he knows that his there for you and you came his hand then rest your head on his shoulder looking around everyone was drinking you looked up at Finn then he looked down at you wiping your tears

“ I want to go home “

“ ok” grabbing your hand you and Finn walked out the garrison walking home you walked in the house it was so quiet Finn grabbing your jacket and hanging it up

“ can we go to bed “

“ sure love “

You went upstairs and put on your nightgown while Finn brushed your hair looking in the mirror your face was all stained with tears and your looked very tired you stopped Finn from brushing your hair grabbing his hands making him cuddle you for behind kissing you on the head

“ I love you Finn “

“ I love too doll “

“ please don’t ever leave me “

“ never you and me always I ain’t going anywhere “

You stood up and put your hands on Finn and kissed him deeply pulling back he wiped your tears away cuddling each other

“ that’s get into bed “

Finn picking you up and putting you in the bed getting in with you aswell he was cuddling playing with your hair which made you fall asleep holding you until he feel asleep aswell you both holding each other tight not wanting to let each other go

[doubleleoenergy]

i. Summer Bummer, Lolita Series

She just might become my lover for real. I might fuck with her all summer for real. They better not holla if I cuff her for real.

Series Masterlist

Pairing: bestfriendsdad!Andy Barber x fem!reader

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, mentions of erection, lewd thoughts, drinking

Words: 2168

Summary: Andy meets Jacob friends for the first time, including y/n.

“Dad, we’re here!” Jacob cried out, opening the front door to his familiar family home. 

Jacob Barber had just finished his Junior year at Columbia University and had just finished packing up his things in his apartment before driving back home. His parents had just finalized their divorce over the Christmas Break, and frankly, Jacob was relieved. His father, Andy Barber, seemed to be doing great, much happier without Laurie in his life. Maybe that was why he had agreed to let Jacob and his roommates from Columbia stay in their home for the entire summer leading up to their final year of undergrad.

“I’ll be right down, just changing a lightbulb in the bathroom.” Andy called out from upstairs, finishing his work quickly and disposing of the broken bulb in the bathroom trash can. He took his time down the stairs, smiling widely as he saw Jacob and his friends standing in the kitchen. “Good to have you home, son.” Andy announced, embracing Jacob in a warm embrace. He wasn’t lying at all, yes, he was fine after the divorce, but he did miss having his son at home playing video games or listening to his music too loud. Once Andy let go, he eyed the two other boys behind him, patting Jacob on his shoulder. 

“You boys must be Jacob’s roommates, right?” He questioned. 

“Yes, sorry dad, this is Rashad and Collin.” Jacob motioned to each of them, watching as his father shook each of their hands. “It’s nice to meet you all, and please, call me Andy. Only my clients call me Mr. Barber.” Andy took a step back, reaching into the fridge to grab a few Coors Light bottles, handing one to each of the boys before turning his attention back to Jacob.

“I thought you said there was another roommate coming, right? The one who you begged me to let intern at my office during the summer?” Andy asked, raising an eyebrow at his son.

Jacob took a swig off his beer bottle, nodding his head. “Yeah, y/n said she’d be here soon, she was just finishing up with a friend for brunch and then she was heading over.” Jacob, Rashad, Collin, and Y/N had been roommates this year in a quaint little apartment about five minutes from Columbia’s main campus. Andy had been to the apartment once to meet up with Jacob for dinner in the Fall during one of his many fights with Laurie, though Jacob’s roommates had all been out that day.

“Alright, well why don’t you boys make yourselves at home, take your pick of any of the guest rooms upstairs and let me know if you need anything. I was thinking of firing up the grill, it’s such a beautiful day out and the swimming pool contractors just finished with the new pool out back.” Andy opens the doors of the fridge again, pulling out the hamburger meat as the three men race up the stairs to look at the rooms they’d be occupying for the next few months. “Sure dad, thanks!” Jacob calls back, giving his father a short wave of his hand.

About an hour later the boys had all settled into the Barber’s backyard, speakers against the home blaring the hottest songs of the summer. Andy and the boys stood around the grill, exchanging stories of their latest semester and giving Andy a chance to get to know Rashad and Collin better. He was quite impressed with the type of people Jacob had chosen to associate himself with. Rashad was an engineering major like Jacob while Collin was studying chemistry.

After the boys finished laughing about Collin and Jacob’s double date gone terribly wrong, Jacob’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out, glancing at the screen with a smile. “Y/N’s pulling in, I’m going to go help her with her bags.” The other boys stayed next to Andy, watching as he flipped the last set of burgers on the grill.

“She’s gotta look heavenly in a bikini, right bro?” Rashad asks Collin, nudging him playfully in the side.

“You got a thing for y/n? Because I don’t think it’d be too appropriate to get with someone you are living the entire summer with, especially under my roof.” Andy objected, removing the burgers off the grill and onto the plate beside him.

Both Rashad and Collin burst out laughing, taking swigs from their beer bottles as they do. “Nah, Andy. Y/N’s a smoke show don’t get me wrong, but we can look but don’t touch. She’s not a relationship type of woman anyhow.” Rashad teased.

Just as the two boys finished their snickering, Jacob opens the screen door, the two immediately jogging up to give y/n a hug. 

“What, you boys miss me that much after being apart for only a day?” She teased, Collin finally releasing her from his death grip. Jacob pulls y/n out into the yard, stopping right in front of the grill where Andy was turning off the burners.

“Dad, this is y/n.” He gestures towards the woman beside him just as y/n sticks out a hand for Andy to shake.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Mr. Barber, I’ve heard so much about you.” Andy finally turns his head in the direction of her voice, his eyes locking on hers as his heart skips a beat in his chest.

“It’s nice to meet you too, and please, call me Andy.” He reaches forward to shake her hand, taking in the whole sight of her. Her hair hung in loosely tousled waves down her back, stopping just above her breasts that were jutting out of her black lace bodysuit, which clung tightly to her hourglass figure and was tucked into her jean shorts that barely seemed to cover her ass. Her lips were plump and juicy, the color of a glass of fruit punch, a dotting of light freckles across her cheeks. Her eyes were striking, she wore no mascara, yet her lashes were thick and long. She was breathtakingly beautiful, a ‘smoke show’ as Rashad had said, indeed. 

Y/N watched how Andy’s eyes engulfed her body, tilting her head to one side as she pretended not to notice. “Well Andy, thank you again for letting us all stay with you this summer, and thank you for the internship. I would rather work a paid internship than work with these boys anywhere.” She teased, ruffling Jacob’s hair.

“It’s no trouble at all, our office could use a good intern for the summer.” He agreed, eyes lingering a little too long on her perky breasts again.

“Maybe we can carpool to work, I’m all about environmentalism.” Her words are flirtatiously drifting off her tongue, a seductive smile spreading across her lips. Was Andy imagining this?

“R-right, yeah sounds good.” He moves to grab the plate of burgers by the grill, gesturing to the house. “Boys, please bring out the salad, condiments, and tableware from the counter and come set the table. Oh, and get y/n a beer.”

Andy moves to the patio table and sets down the plate of burgers, watching y/n as she slowly sinks into the chair next to him. He catches a whiff of her perfume, a heavenly mix of oranges, vanilla, and sandalwood wafting through his nostrils. It’s the perfect scent for her, he thought, moving to sit at the far end of the table.

The boys come back with all the supplies for dinner, including y/n’s beer, which she is already nursing happily from. Andy’s eyes focus on how her lips wrap around the top of the glass bottle, clearing his throat as if to rid himself of his dirty thoughts.

“So, y/n, what made you want to intern in my office?” He questioned, assembling a burger onto his plate. Y/N tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, carefully putting a helping of salad onto her own plate before assembling the rest of her meal.

“I’m completing my undergraduate degree and then hopefully getting admitted to law school to become an attorney. I figured interning in a real office would be a great first step.” She stuck her fork into the salad, opening her mouth to take in the bite.

“So, what are you getting your undergrad in?” 

“My major is human rights with a minor in economics.” Her eyes met Jacob’s, a smile spreading on her face. “That’s how I actually found out Jake-y here was looking for another roommate. We had microeconomics together. Then I got introduced to these two losers-“ She teased, motioning to the other two guys at the table who feigned hurt expressions. “-and the rest is history.” The boys next to her were all chowing down as usual as if they hadn’t been fed in days.

As they take the time to finish eating, y/n lets the boys do most of the talking. She’s not a huge sharer when she first meets people, and frankly she’s glad to have the guys around to keep her entertained all summer. The dinner is spent catching way-too-long glances from Andy, his eyes lingering on hers for a bit too long here and there. There’s something about him that intrigues her, maybe it’s because he’s not a boy but a man, or maybe it’s just her usual game of cat and mouse, men usually fell to putty at her feet and she assumed he’d be the same.

“That was great dad, thank you.” Jacob says, finishing his third burger of the night. “Anyone up for a late-night swim?” He asked, standing up from the table and picking up a few of the items from it to take them inside. Rashad and Collin follow suit, with y/n trailing behind.

“Sounds good.” Rashad replies, going over to set his plate in the sink before bounding up the stairs. Andy walks back in as the four head upstairs to change, turning on the sink and rinsing off the dishes before setting them in the drying rack on the counter.

Shortly after finishing washing his third plate, he hears the boys running down the stairs, pushing each other to see who can do a cannonball in the pool first. Andy can’t help but chuckle to himself at their energy, it truly was nice to have noise in the house again.

“Can I help you, Mr. Barber?” Andy turns his head to the soft voice behind him, his cock twitching in his jeans. She’s standing in front of him in the tiniest floral bikini he’s even seen on a woman, the bottoms barely covering her slit and leaving nothing to the imagination of her ass.

“It’s Andy.” He chokes out, licking his lips before turning his attention back to the sink. Y/N sashays over to his side, grabbing the clean towel off the counter and starting to dry the dishes as Andy sets them into the rack.

“Right, I’m sorry, Andy.” Her eyes trail over his figure as she speaks, he can feel her eyes on him, and he shifts his weight as he stands to make sure his cock couldn’t be seen through the fabric of his jeans. “Thank you again for letting us all stay here; I was hoping not to have to deal with another summer bummer.” Her thin fingers set each dry dish carefully atop the other, Andy’s eyes glancing over one last time before he turns off the water, drying his hands on a clean towel.

He clears his throat. “Of course, any friend of Jacob’s is a friend of mine.” Suddenly, as if his ears are burning, Jacob opens the screen door sopping wet.

“You coming y/n?” He asks, cocking an eyebrow at her. 

“Yeah, I was just helping your dad clean up.”

Andy shifts uncomfortably, trying to hide the erection in his pants. “Hey kiddo, I’m going to bed, you guys have fun tonight.” He turns to walk down the hallway of the first floor to his bedroom, hearing y/n’s soft voice echoing out to him.

“Goodnight Andy.” She purred, Jacob finally picking her up over his shoulder and carrying her out to the pool area, her cries of protest lingering as he shut the screen door behind them.

Once locked away in his room Andy let out a sigh, undoing his jeans and letting his cock spring free from his underwear. He couldn’t believe the way he was getting hard for his son’s best friend, he hadn’t even had a chance to think of another woman since the divorce, but y/n just had this sickeningly sweet seduction about her, he knew it matched a certain name.

“Lolita.” He murmured, and though she wasn’t a 12-year old girl from the novel, because ew, he did seem to have some sinful obsession with her after having just met. Is this love or lust or some game on repeat? Andy didn’t know, but one thing was for sure, he was definitely about to jerk off to sexual thoughts of her in that bikini.

Tagging those who may be interested. Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list: @midnightf @my-divine-death @saamwilsonn @fierylibraa @fuckandfluff​ @rattlemyb0nes​ @rootcrop @goldenboysteve​  @turtoix​  @jeremyrennermakesmesmile​  @ccmarvelxx

[wiypt-writes]

Concsiousness Of Guilt

Chapter 7: Part 2

Summary: It’s the holiday season, and you and Andy spend it with your parents.  But even now, surrounded  by your family, the ghost of Ransom still haunts you.

Warnings: Language, Smut (NSFW, 18+). References and flashbacks to past abuse (non-con situation briefly described.)

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar the reader and any other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

W/C: 7.3k

Consciousness Of Guilt Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 7 Part 1

Tuesday brought peace to your condo, your sister deciding that she was finally out of line and apologizing to you for her wild outburst Monday morning. She had zero explanation for it and really said nothing more. Neither your father nor your mother could bear reason for it either so you did what you do best as a family and that was move on.

Wednesday, you had to slide into the office for a brief meeting with Eva and Amber before the long holiday break and as you exited Eva's office to round up some mail sitting in your own you got a text from Andy saying the verdict was in.

You sped quickly to the courthouse, a nervous excitement about you. You slid inside and took a seat in the back row just as a deputy closed the door behind you and the call to rise came from the bailiff. You didn't get a chance to eye Andy, making him aware of your presence, but you did settle up your pen and note pad, your press pass hanging from your neck.

The foreman stood and answered positively when asked if they had reached a verdict upon which they were all agreed. You waited on baited breath, your ears tuned to the foreman but your eyes trained on Andy and Ron.

“Not guilty.”

There were murmurs around the courtroom, along with sighs of relief from the defendant’s family, and cries of anger from that of the man who had died.

You watched as Andy's shoulders relaxed in a bit of relief, you knowing he wasn't sure if he'd pulled it off behind closed doors. However, those in the courtroom wouldn't have suspected otherwise. You stood, your eyes connecting with Ron's before a pair of bright cerulean looked to you, a smirk crossing his lips. You winked at Andy before smirking yourself and exiting the court room.

You waited in the corridor and before long Andy, Ron and their client emerged. You strode forward, smiling as you congratulated them all and then jerked your head slightly to the side. Ron and Andy followed, Andy introducing you to his client briefly and once that was done you took a deep breath.

“Okay, so I’m going to prep a formal press release for later but there’s a camp of reporters outside. Keep it minimal, usual shit about how justice has been done bla bla but my advice is not to say much. I know I’m preaching to the converted but…”

Ron gave a chuckle, "it's always good to hear a reminder."

"Any questions?" Andy turned to his client, whom shook his head no. "Right, we'll let Ron take lead and...."

"No, Andy, you earned this one." Ron nodded at his lead counselor.

A broad grin spread across your man’s face, a faint flush to his cheeks as he gave an affirmative nod, his hands digging into the pockets of his coat.

“I’ll see you at yours, couple of hours?” He looked at you and you nodded.

Leaving them to it, you headed to your car, already planning the statement in your head. It wouldn’t take you long to put together once you got home, leaving you free to enjoy the holiday. 

As you walked back towards your car, you shot Andy a text telling him that tonight you were going to celebrate his win. On a whim, you pulled up outside one of the local stores and grabbed a bottle of Moët. His reply was waiting for you when you pulled back into your garage.

And celebrate you did! From popping the champagne when Andy walked into your place, you giving him a celebratory kiss that would have no doubt brought the man to his knees, to you all heading out for sushi and sake, a good time was had. And upon returning from dinner, Andy cracked open the expensive stuff he'd stashed away and succeeded in drinking your dad under the table as promised, your tipsy mother sassing and blasting the man, causing the rest of you to practically die and ach from laughter. 

The next morning, while you let Andy sleep off his celebratory hang over; you, your mom and sister all worked together prepping for the big dinner and gabbed about the big shopping excursion planned for tomorrow. It took most of the morning and as the turkey roasted away in your oven, you enjoyed the occasional drink and snacks while Andy and your dad bonded over Thanksgiving Day football. By the time the big meal was ready, you all were dressed for the casual occasion and dishing up, filling your plates with turkey and gravy, homemade stuffing and mashed potatoes, green beans and dinner rolls with the prospect of pie much later in the evening for dessert. 

At one point Andy leaned over to you and pressed a gentle kiss to your temple, "thank you, honey."

"For what?" You softly smiled at him. 

"For giving me something to be thankful for again," he whispered. 

Your eyes misted over and you blinked back the watery tears, "I could say the same about you."

His large hand cupped your thigh under the table and gave you a gentle squeeze as his left eye gave you a wink. 

"Hey, remember those outrageous costumes Nana made for us for the Thanksgiving pageant in town?" Penny laughed, pulling you out if your moment. 

“Oh my god!” You snorted, “we looked ridiculous!”

“You looked adorable.” Your mom smiled. “Your nana spent ages making those.” A faraway look spread across her face before she sighed. “I wonder what happened to them?”

“They’re somewhere in all that crap that we packed up.” Your dad spoke, “in fact, I’m sure they’re in your basement, in one of your memory boxes.”

You froze, "Oh, Dad, I haven't... I've not... Uh, haven't been down there at all. You put those boxes down there. I just closed the door behind you, I haven't had a need."

“It’s okay!” Your dad chuckled, “I wouldn’t expect you to be sitting here looking at memories in a box, love!”

"You should go get them! Come on, let's bust open the memory box!" Penny beamed excitedly.

“No.” You stated firmly and flatly. 

"Oh come on! It'll be fun! Andy should totally see those cute pictures of you as a kid, it's like a boyfriend right of passage."

“I don’t want to go down there.” You flatly replied once more.

"Honey, I can...." Andy started. 

“I said no, okay!” You cut Andy off, shaking your head. “Can everyone shut up about the fucking basement?” 

“Sweetheart…” Ransom’s grip on your jaw was like a vice as his other arm pinned you to the bed, forearm painfully held across your throat. “I got all day. Just say those three words and I’ll let you out…”

You tried to turn your head away, but the hand on your chin tightened painfully and Ransom forced you to stare straight back at his icy blue eyes. “Just admit you love me…”

“I don’t…” you managed to stutter and the anger flashed in his eyes. His hands moved to your panties, and second later you heard them tear.

“No?” His fingers toyed at your slit and you closed your eyes, a tear rolling down your cheek. “Let’s see…”

The buzzing in your head subsided and you swallowed, reaching for your wine. You drained it in one and stood up. “I need a top up.”

The silence in your dining room was heavy, a knife could cut through the awkwardness that settled in. You caught your eye with Andy's from across your counter and licked your lips before you poured your wine and instead of returning to your seat at the table, you stepped out into the cold garden.

Suddenly, embarrassment washed over you as you realized for the first time since the two of you'd met, you'd snapped at Andy like you had. And in front of your parents, too.

A headache was forming behind your eyes as they watered and your nose stung.

A few moments later you heard the door open as Andy came to join you, concerned etched across his brow as you glanced back at him, then looked away. That warm, woollen coat you loved was placed tenderly over your shoulders, his hands rubbing your arms as he stood behind you.

“Angel, are you okay?”

“He kept me in the basement.” You suddenly blurted out, for some reason wanting to make him understand.

"Wh.... What?"

“You asked me if he was physical. He didn’t hit me… well, not much anyway but…” you turned to look at him, taking a deep breath, your hands shaking, “when I… when I wasn’t towing the line, he locked me in the basement.”

He took your glass from you and set it on the patio table. "For how long?" Andy’s voice was calm, but you sensed the undercurrent of anger.

"Days, a week or two, a solid month. It varied.”

“Jesus, fuck!” Andy moved and wrapped his arms around you, his warmth spreading through his coat. 

“They don’t know.” You shook your head. “It would kill them, Andy, you can’t…”

“Okay…” he kissed your head. “I won’t say anything.”

There was a moment of silence as you buried your face in his chest.

“Honey, I swear, to God, if he wasn’t already dead I’d murder the bastard myself.”

"I'm sorry I snapped at you, especially in front of my family." Your voice was muffled against his soft cashmere covered chest.

“Hey, don’t worry about that.” His hands rubbed at your back and he dropped a kiss to your head

You stood in his arms for a bit longer until he suggested you head in before your dad came out search of you, and you reluctantly agreed. Andy’s hands tenderly cupped your face and he wiped your tears with his thumbs, before placing a soft kiss to your lips.

"How about we can say goodnight and I draw you a nice bath? I'll help your mom clean up while you soak."

“No.” You shook your head. “It’s Thanksgiving, I’m going to put my big girl pants on and carry on drinking.”

"Are you sure? I'm more than happy getting you to bed and taken care of."

"Maybe just a few more minutes then," you sighed into his touch.

You stood in his arms for a few moments longer before allowing Andy to guide you back into yours.

After a hastily, mumbled apology for your outburst, simply telling your parents it had been a long week and you were tired, your outburst was forgotten and you started in on cutting dessert up for everyone, making sure the coffee was on for your father as you knew he enjoyed the hot beverage with his pie. Andy thanked your mom for her part in the delicious meal as he cleared the table and eventually sat with your father down on the couch with his coffee and pie, giving you your space to get changed but you could feel his weary and concerned eyes on you as you headed up to the second floor.

Your sister and mom followed your example, before with a shrug your dad declared he might as well join the “pajama party” so to speak. With a pop of his shoulder, Andy also decided to change. An extra log was tossed onto the fire by your dad before he grabbed the remote and flicked over the channels.

Just as you settled down next to Andy, you heard your dad give a yell. “What a classic!”

Both you and Andy paused as the familiar opening theme to Jurassic Park rang out of the tv speakers, before the two of you burst into laughter.

"It's a classic, but is it that funny?" Your dad chuckled.

"No," you giggled, "it's just a joke between Andy and I. I'm sorry, carry on."

“Oh, because the lawyer gets eaten…” your dad grinned and Andy laughed even more.

“That’s one reason.” You popped a shoulder and happily snuggled into Andy as he moved his arm across the back of the sofa so you could get comfy.

You'd managed to make it through to the credits before wanting to cozy up into bed, Andy and your parents saying goodnight and you desperately contemplated on the remaining whipped cream being sprayed into your sister's palm as she slept, dead to the world, on the chaise.

“No.” Your dad read the mischievous look on your face and grinned at you as you let out a dramatic sigh.

“Oh, come on, Daddy!” You playfully whined in a childlike manner. 

"Use the cream pie instead." He offered.

“Absolutely not!” Your mom said sternly and your dad shrugged.

“She’s done it to us enough.”

"Y/D/N! Again with the mischief. Get to bed, both of you." Your mother scolded. "Andy, a little help here."

Andy turned you gently towards the door. “As a well-respected defence attorney, I can’t be involved with any criminal or shady antics…”

Your jaw dropped dramatically as your hands went to your hips. "Fun sponge."

“I lived with a hormonal, teenage boy.” Andy walked you through the door. “Been called worse, believe me.”

You laughed as you set foot into your en-suite to brush your teeth before bed. Andy soon joined you, his hands on your hips as you brushed, his eyes on yours in the mirror as his lips pressed to your temple. 

"You feeling better?" He asked.

The answer was obvious but he had asked it anyways. You smiled in reply.

"Good."

You rinsed your mouth and turned to him. “Thank you.”

"I didn't do anything, Angel."

“Yes you did.” You looked at him. “You listened.”

Again his hands cupped your cheeks, his thumbs running over your cheekbones, "I will always listen."

There was a pause as Andy’s hands gently caressed your face and you felt the lump in your throat as you struggled to find the words to say what you wanted to.

He placed a tender kiss to your lips, his touch lulling you to a sudden peacefulness. "Give me five and I'll join you in bed."

You nodded and left him, climbing under the soft duvet and settling in as you waited for him. Your body was tired, your mind just as so, and when Andy joined you, he held you as you dozed off for the night.

But the mind was a funny thing, holding on to memories and twisting them into hellacious thoughts for your dreams to play out despite your newly calm demeanour as your lashes cascaded over your eyes, permanently locking you in for the night…

Your dress was gorgeous. Lace and silk, floaty and bohemian like. Everything  you’d always envisaged wearing on your special day.

You turned to your dad, his face was stony but he managed a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

He asked as the heavy doors opened to the room of the hotel in which your wedding was taking place.

“Of course,” you looked at him, a frown on your face, “why on Earth wouldn’t I want to marry Andy?”

"Bean, Andy's gone. He's been gone... years,” your dad sighed sadly.

“Gone?” You frowned, “What do you mean? He’s there, look!”

Those all too familiar broad shoulders you'd come to love, to feel as their comfort caged you in each night stood at the end of the aisle. His back was to you but you'd recognized that build anywhere. "See, look."

Your dad sadly shook his head, "Bean...."

The figure at the end of the aisle turned and as the sun obscured his face, you were still certain it was Andy waiting for you.

You looked at your dad, wondering what on Earth has come over him as you started your walk towards your soon to be husband.

You walked with your father, ready to prove your point when the sun no longer obscured his face and cold, blue eyes and clean shaven face met yours. Your dress had changed into an uncomfortable, tight, backless silk number and you were no longer in your venue of choice, but now, locked tightly in your old yard, the warm Boston summer beating down through the tree in which under he stood. You cried out, "No!" And wrenched your arm free from your father's hand, your flowers falling to the ground.

"You look so beautiful, Sweetheart." His voice made the bile rise and burn up your throat as you fell to your knees, retching up nothing but acid. His hands were on you and you failed to free yourself, crying out. "No.... Andy, where's Andy. I need Andy."

"He's gone, Princess, like he told you." Ransom eyed your father.

"No, you.... Let me go, you stay away from me."

“I’m warning you, Y/N.” Ransom’s deep baritone filled your ears. “Don’t make me lock you up again.”

"No! Andy!? Andy!? Help me, please!" You cried as you screamed, your sobs filled with words of desperation, fear filling you as you searched for the man you hoped would rescue you. "Help!"

Andy heard your scream the moment his name passed your lips, and it didn't take more than a blink for him to rise in bed and see you flailing about in your sleep, his name repeatedly falling from your sobs as you cried out for help.

“Angel, hey…” he gently shook your shoulders as you continued to scream, your face contorted in horror and your brow damp from sweat.

“Honey, come on, wake up…”

He knew he had to remain calm, but he was deeply terrified as he continued to try and pull you from whatever nightmare was consuming you. A little harder of a shake and Andy had you gasping for air as you sat bolt upright, your eyes wide and frantic with fear. 

You blinked before you began to sob, and collapsed into him trembling as he cradled you in his arms. A second later the door to the room ricocheted off the wall, your dad had flung it open with such force.

As his hand carded through your hair, Andy's eyes glanced over at your parents, standing wide eyed and in fear at the sight of the two. Andy squeezed his eyes shut and whispered into your ear, his lips pressing into your hair as he held you, your body tucked as close as if you were a second skin, his body curled around yours as he sat on his knees, his ass planted against his heels, rocking you back and forth.

"It's okay baby, I'm right here. You're safe. You're okay, Angel. I got you, honey." His tired and tearful blue eyes met your father's and they exchanged a knowing nod before your dad carted your worried mother away, Penny poking her head in as your parents walked out, the door closing behind your father.

Your hands fisted into his sleep shirt as you cried and he took a deep breath, his lips pressing to your temple. Andy knew there was nothing he could do bar let you ride it out, so that’s precisely what he did.

After a while, he'd felt your breathing even out and your sobs quiet down to soft cries and sniffles. At that point he moved as if to look down at you but you clung to him, shaking your head.

“Okay, okay…” he soothed, “come on, lie down. I got you.”

Gently and slowly, he arranged himself so that he led you down, like a parent laying out a young child, his hold never ceasing to exist as he settled himself to be led next to you. He managed to get on his own back and pull you close, your body still against his, his shirt soaked around the chest from her tears.

He didn’t bother asking what you’d been dreaming about, he didn’t need to, especially after your confession to him earlier that evening. He pressed his lips to your forehead. “It’s okay, Angel.”

He felt you shudder in his arms, but at his words the rigid tension of your body ebbed away and you melted into him.

Andy found sleep impossible as the fear of another episode completely overtook him. Deep inside he was angry and his veins ran with rage while his heart was shattered and his stomach sickened. He knew there was more to your ordeal than you were telling him, and his brain was plagued as he wondered to himself just exactly what the hell else the asshole had done. That said, he’d never ask, for it were your story to tell, if and when you wanted him to know.

You remained locked tight around his body, his arms protectively, not possessively, securing you against him. He'd be sore, but fuck it, he absolutely did not care.

It was about four in the morning, a good three and a half hours after he had woken to your screaming when he started to feel his eyes growing heavy, and he could no longer fight the exhaustion in his system. And the last thing he thought of, as he pressed a kiss to your tear stained cheek, was that if they ever caught the guy who had stabbed Drysdale to death, he’d fucking stand up there in court and defend him for free.

*****

Your head hurt, your chest felt sore and your neck was kinked and stiff. Then there were your eyes, they felt like they'd been filled with sand, dry and itchy, swollen and no doubt red if you'd taken the time to look.

While you were no longer in Andy's arms, you were still tucked up into his side, his warmth a soothing comfort.

You were equal parts tired and again embarrassed given what had happened late last night. It wasn’t like you could help it, you knew that, but still, you felt betrayed by your subconscious. Your mind had well and truly fucked you over. Your night-terror and the resulting, physical breakdown were the manifestations of exactly how deeply Ransom had screwed you up. It wasn’t something you’d hoped Andy would ever have to see.

A dread filled you, a worry that this may be the end when the two of you had barely begun. You took a deep, long and shaky breath, the stretch of your lungs stinging your sore chest. You took a glance at Andy, led flat on his back, close to you, his left hand cradled over his chest, his right bent above your head, his hand tucked underneath his neck. A slight snore was emitting from his parted lips. Another unsteady breath and you were sliding out of bed, careful not to wake him.

You quietly shuffled into your en-suite and splashed cold water over your face, not even glancing at your reflection. As you brushed your teeth, you kept your back to the mirror, closing your eyes when you spit the gritty paste into the sink and kept your eyes down as you finished up. When you emerged, Andy had shifted into his side, facing you, but still continued to sleep. 

With a slight tremor in your hand, you reached out and grabbed his sweater from the chair and slipped it on. The soft cashmere, mixed with his familiar smell calmed you a little and with a last look at him, you made your way downstairs.

Your father was in your kitchen, whipping up a meal for his softly smiling wife and Penny. "Morning, Bean. I was wondering when you were getting up."

“What time is it?” Your voice was slightly croaky as your dad turned and wrapped his arms around you, kissing your head.

"Near ten," he whispered. "Rough night, how ya doing, Kiddo?"

You shrugged as he held you, unwilling to step out of the arms that had always provided you safety and love, no matter your age and you sighed.

“Feel like an idiot.” You mumbled, your cheek resting against your dad’s t-shirt.

"I don't know why? You seemed pretty well taken care of last night. I practically ripped your door from its hinges, but there was no need. Andy had you the whole time."

“It’s not something I’m particularly pleased about, having a night-terror so violent it ended that way.” You sighed. “Bet he thinks I’m a right head case.”

"Something tells me your wrong there, Bean. He cares, a lot." Your dad sighed softly.

You stepped back and turned to your mom and sister. Before you could say anything your mom shook her head, silently telling you to stop with the worry and your sister merely arched a brow.

“Was it a dream about how he didn’t bring you coffee in the morning?” Her teasing was welcome as you flipped her off and then eyed the clock. 

“You know, that’s not a bad idea.” You mumbled.

“What isn’t?”

“I should get him coffee for a change.” You chewed your lip, before you turned and grabbed your car keys from the drawer. “I won’t be long…”

“You can’t go out like that!” Your mom looked at you. “Sleep pants and Andy’s sweater!”

“Watch me.” You shrugged, before you made to the garage.

Your sister and dad's laughter died down, and the closing of the door into the garage cut your dad's voice as he informed your mom you were a “big girl”, shutting down her protests about you leaving the house in your sleep wear.

The line at Patti's for takeout was non-existent but the tables were packed. Yet, that didn't stop the sweet older woman from grabbing your order she'd committed to memory and seeing you out quickly. When you returned, Andy still wasn't up, or if he was, he hadn't joined your parents and sister at the table over their omelettes and toast.

You placed a hot takeout cups of coffee in front of each of them, your sister asking if you were still going shopping and you told her yes, just a really late start and asked her to get ready when she was finished, before you headed upstairs with yours and Andy’s. 

He was still out for the count, and you felt guilty about waking him up but by now it was almost eleven and you knew if he slept much longer he would struggle to shut down later that evening.

With that tremor still in your hand, you placed it over his broad chest. Pressing down lightly, you leaned in, kissing his lips softly. He stirred a little, and you pulled back for a moment before you kissed him again.

"Andy...." you spoke softly. "It's late, gotta get up."

You gently pecked his lips again and this time when you made to pull back, his face followed you, his lips still brushing yours and as your eyes opened so did his, bleary with sleep, but as deeply soft and blue as always.

"Hi," you whispered.

The faintest of sleepy smirks twitched his lips as his hand tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. "Morning, beautiful."

“I err, I got you coffee.” You smiled back as he stretched his body out, before he sat up, shifting so his back was leaning on the headboard. You reached for one of the cups you’d placed on the nightstand and sat on the edge of the bed by his side, twisting to face him as you held it out.

“It's a... a... peace offering, for...." you tried.

He took the cup from your hand and put it directly back on the nightstand. "Why on earth would it be a peace offering?"

"Screaming in the middle of the night, causing a complete scene that woke you up," you cast your head downward, emotional over your admission.

“Hey,” Andy reached out, his finger gently tipping your chin upwards so your eyes met his, “Angel, you don’t need to apologise.”

You swallowed hard, "okay."

“I’m more bothered about how you’re feeling.” Andy looked at you. His thumb moved over to your cheek, running over that scar, catching a tear you didn't even know you'd let fall.

"I'm okay," you admitted. "I... I don't know what happened. I haven't had one like that in so long. It scared me."

Andy gave a sigh, tipping forward and wrapping his arms around you. Keeping you close, he fell back onto the bed, taking you with him so you were sprawled over him on top of the covers.

“Wanna tell me about it?” He mumbled as he pressed his lips to your hair, just to the side of where your locks were piled messily on your head.

"Uh...." you mumbled into his chest. "We... Uh... I," you pulled back and pushed yourself off his chest into a sitting position, "I was walking with my dad, you were waiting for me and then you were gone and it was him." Your lip quivered and your nose flared. "He threatened to lock me up and he grabbed me, and I just started screaming for you."

Andy stayed silent for a moment, his arms simply holding his close before he let out a chuckle.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” Andy shook his head, “it was a very inappropriate response that flashed into my mind that’s all, I’m sorry.”

“Tell me.” You moved so you were on your side, nestled into him as you peered up, his hand tracing shapes down your arm over his sweater.

“I was just about to say that you shouldn’t worry too much about that as the piece of shit is dead.”

A light chuckle shook your body against his side, "as true as that may be, unfortunately, I guess he still lives in my head."

“Well, I know all about that.”

There was a bit of silence, the ebb and flow of your breathing the only sound, his heartbeat thumping in your ear, "Andy...."

“Yeah?”

"Thank you."

“You've said that a lot lately. What for now?” He turned his head to look down at you, his expression slightly puzzled.

"Being here, your patience, your understanding.... I don't know, just.... for everything. I don't want to hurt anymore."

“Hey,” His eyes bored into yours as you swallowed a little, the lump forming in your throat felt like a golf ball. “No one is ever gonna hurt you like that again. I promise.”

You had no words, there was this feeling like you had something to say and it felt like it was weighted down on the top of your tongue, but it wouldn't dare come out. Instead, you tilted up a little on your elbow and pressed a kiss into his lips.

The soft, slow movements of your mouths eased the last, ebbing feelings of tension and worry you had in your system and you felt yourself relaxing in Andy’s hold.

He turned your bodies as he kissed you, your back led flat on the bed, his arms completely surrounding you as his large hands splayed over you. The kiss became heated, quickly as your arms hooked under his, your hand right curling over his shoulder from behind, your left resting against his bearded cheek.

Your thumb ran over the neatly trimmed line between his bristles and his skin. He purred above you.

"You know what that does to me," he whispered above your lips. His tone was playful, his eyes bright and you wrinkled your nose. 

“Yeah but it’s cute.”

Andy chortled through his nose as he bent down to kiss you again, his tongue tracing the outline of your upper lip.

“Your coffee will be cold, Counselor.” You whispered as his nose bumped yours, his lips gently moving from your mouth to your jaw.

"Fahk my coffee," he ground out down your neck.

“I went to Patti’s in a half dressed state for that coffee…”

He pulled back, raising his brow and eyes as if he were pondering, "yeah, don't care." He smirked as he went back to your lips.

“Jerk.”

“Okay, you gonna shut up and let me love on you or do you wanna carry on verbal sparring? I should warn you though, I’m pretty good at it.”

Your chest tightened, you heard it, that word that weighed your tongue down, but it came from his lips. "L.... love on me?" 

"Mmmhmmm," he hummed as he again attempted to ghost over your jaw, then down your neck. He nipped and then sucked lightly over your skin, where your neck met your collar bone, the soft skin there tingling.

You swallowed, trying not to dwell on that four letter word too much. Andy clearly had no idea the feeling that his figure of speech had sparked within you.

You heard a rustle as he kicked down the duvet and moved, his body hovering over yours as he caged you with his arms.

It was a secure feeling, not one of drowning or suffocation, and your eyes delicately bore into his. "I'm all yours," you whispered.

He paused for a moment, his head raising as his eyes locked onto yours. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but whatever it was, he never did. Instead, his lips crashed back to yours.

He leaned back on his knees briefly as his hands lifted his sweater and your cami in one go, tossing them to the carpeted floor. He gave a soft groan as he looked down at you, before he pulled off his own shirt and fell back over you, lips nipping at your neck.

That necklace he wore grazed over your skin, it was warm as it dragged between your breasts. Your hands wound around his body again, your fingers running along his skin, up his neck and through his beard, scratching through the bristles to under his ear and around his neck, moving through the expertly cut strands.

His lips kissed and sucked their way down your neck, across your collar bone to the hollow in your throat. Furthermore, hot open mouth kisses moved down your sternum, over the upper mound of one breast and then the other before those soft lips curled around a nipple.

Your back curled upward towards his touch and away from the mattress as he gently lolled his tongue over the peaked flesh.

He chuckled a little, "you gotta be quiet, Angel. We've got company downstairs."

His words came as a surprise to you as you were unaware you’d even made a noise. You gasped as his teeth nipped your chest, swallowing hard.

"Don't stop," you ground out."

“I’ve no intentions of stopping, baby.” His mouth moved to your other breast, where he lapped and teased it in the same way.

He then nipped at the soft skin beneath your right breast as he made way down your twitching abs, kissing his way toward your naval.

His fingers slid into the waistband of your pants and, as his intentions became clear you tensed a little, your hand fisting in his fluffy, sleep mussed hair and you felt him pause. 

He looked up at you, a 'v' forming between his eyebrows as he gave you a questioning look.

“Don’t you-“

“No, I mean yes, I…” you took a deep breath, swallowing as once more you pushed back an image that has swum into your brain. Andy hadn’t gone down on you yet, and the last time someone had it had been an agonising, hour long edging. Your chest heaved and you shook your head, “I’m okay, I promise…”

A long, heavy lid blink settled over his eyes as he pulled at your pants, you tilted your hips upward to get them over your ass and then the cool air of your room meet your warm skin as your legs were freed.

Andy shook his head a little, "so beautiful, Angel."

Your breathing turned ragged as you watched him slide off the end of the bed, his soft hands pulling your ankles gently as you slid down to meet him. Andy's hands caressed your legs as his lips kissed the ink over your skin. You watched him as his eyes kept yours, only closing to savor moments whilst his lips glided up your right leg, hooking it over his shoulder as he went. 

He hit the inside of your knee and you whimpered, a smirk plying over his lips. You threw your head back and gasp as his right hand blunt fingernails dragged over the inside of your left thigh. There was a slight hesitation on his part as he reached the apex of your thigh and wet folds.

That hesitation allowed you to get inside your head. And despite what you had assured Andy, you were still stuck in this internal war between wanting to enjoy the affections Andy was giving you, and fighting desperately not to worry about the past experiences.  But that worry faded the minute Andy's mouth hit your core.

Because it was different. There was no animalistic ferocity to his movements. They were slow, almost tentative as he took his time, figuring out what worked for you and what didn't. A learning student, your sounds; encouraging him to kiss here and lick there, a tickle to your swollen bud with the tip of his tongue.

And oh, God that beard, the soft burn that gave you such a juxtaposition in the friction between your thighs was definitely something you were enjoying. 

This wasn’t about ripping you apart, making you succumb the way he wanted you to. It was about YOU and YOUR desires. Not how quickly or long you'd last. 

Your body was no longer betraying you, it was working with you, for you.

Your right hand fell down to his hair line in a praising manner, a reflex of times before. But you didn't pull or grab, you simply ran your nails through his soft, brunette locks causing a sound to leave him.

It was a mix of a groan and a growl, but he did nothing more than make that sound. His left hand took yours away from his hair and laced your fingers with his, holding your hand against your body on the mattress. Your palm flat against his.

His fingers gently squeezed yours. You weren't even aware of your insides burning in that white hot flame, but as his fingers squeezed, you keened. As you did, that sound left Andy's throat again, vibrating against your clit. Your legs trembled in delight as you felt your pelvis push towards him. 

Your body craved more and he delightfully responded, his actions growing fast, but still keeping his hand in yours. You bit your lip to remain quiet, still not forgetting you had an audience downstairs. But soft moans and whimpers streamed out of you. You were so close, so very close. Andy seemed to sense it too as his tongue became ever so slightly more determined. 

"Right there," you managed raggedy. He kept at it and you were gone. 

A flutter in your belly raging like a wildfire burned through you, tightening your chest and quivering your legs. A whimper of his name slipped through your lips as your hand tightened around his. 

Andy slowed down as your orgasm faded out, but didn't stop entirely. He tenderly still enjoyed you as your essence coated his beard.

Slowly, seemingly so as not to overly sensitize you, he completely backed away, kissing away from your outer lips and above your mound before going up your belly as his hand released yours, between your breasts, your clavicle, the hollow of your neck, up your neck to that spot behind your ear, over your jaw and to your lips. You could barely feel yourself on his lips, nearly taste you on his tongue, but you didn't care. 

The two of you shared a deep, knowing gaze before you kissed Andy again, just soft, your lips holding around him. Your hands went to the waistband of his sleep pants as you felt the weight of his hardness against your thigh but he was quick to stop you. 

"No, Angel, I'll be fine," he kissed you again, slowly sitting up. "Come on let’s get cleaned up and then I’m going to call Black Cat and make a dinner reservation for all of us. My treat."

You were shocked, and you hoped it wasn't on your face, "You wanna go out for dinner with my family, again?" 

Andy chuckled as if it were obvious, “well yeah, they’re part of your life so they're a part of mine now." 

“Okay," you smiled, "thank you, I’d like that.”

"Great, we'll go after your finished having a shopping spree with your mom and Pen."

You wrinkled your nose, “do I have to?” You knew full well you were still going shopping but staying in bed with Andy wasn't a bad alternative. 

"Your promised them shopping in Denver, you have to. It's the day after Thanksgiving, biggest shopping day of the year," he said as if he were an advertisement.

“Okay, okay… but if Pen starts being a bitch again I won’t be held responsible for my actions.” You shrugged, referring to your sister.

Playfully, Andy rolled his eyes at you, "you're terrible. You got your mom to knock her back into line.” Andy’s hand gently brushed a strand of hair off your face. “She behaved yesterday. Although I still don’t know what you were arguing about.”

"It's nothing important, it's sorted," you shook your head. 

"Good." He sat up and brought you with him, "now, let's get going before they come find us."

"They probably think we're sleeping again."

"Good, hate to think otherwise." He smirked devilishly. "You know, while you're shopping, get yourself something to wear tonight, something new and to your liking."

Now you rolled your eyes, "Yes, Counselor."

He arched a brow, but continued. “And you can swing by my place, pick me something up to wear too, if you don’t mind.”

"You trust me to pick your outfit?”

“You have good taste,” he shrugged before a devilish smirk crossed his face, “you also taste good.”

"Andrew Barber!" 

He laughed as you playfully slapped his arm and he grinned, kissing your head.

"Wait, if I'm shopping in Denver, what you gonna do? What's my dad gonna do?" It dawned on you. 

"Oh, simple, he talked me into going to the indoor driving range. Coincidentally, they're open today."

You snorted, “Mom is so gonna slap him.”

"It was her idea." He shrugged. 

“Really?”

"Yep," Andy walked towards the bathroom. "You know, she should have been a lawyer. She planted that seed so well, he had no idea it was her idea but his own." He started the shower and poked his head out, "she's good."

You pondered what he said for a moment, wondering when on earth he’d had time to even speak to your mom that way but it didn’t matter. What did, was that he had. He wanted to get on with your family and he encouraged your interactions with them.

You shook your head and with a chuckle you headed into the bathroom after him. He gave you a look as you stepped into the shower cubicle.

“Angel?” His hands fell to your hips and you shrugged, backing under the spray.

“Saves water and time.” You grinned, pulling the hair tie from your hair.

“Yeah, something tells me that’s gonna turn out to be a load of bullshit,” Andy grinned, dipping his head to kiss you.

**** Chapter 8 Part 1

[non-un-topo]

College, Car Seats, and Creamy Pasta (ficlet)

(This title, idk.) So I’ve been having feelings lately about the old guard with babies in modern aus, so here’s an experimental, kind of self-indulgent ficlet filled with extreme amounts of softness and bébé feels <3

_______________________________

There’s an infamous story all the way back from college that Joe loves to share which involves Andy drunkenly rolling her ankle on a beach and Joe having to carry her home--though, she could have walked, but Joe demanded to carry her--and fashioning an ice pack out of the only things he could find in his and Nicky’s tiny, decrepit apartment: A condom, and some ice from a small McDonald’s sprite (their freezer was broken when they moved in).

He lives to tell that story every chance he gets. Especially now, as he reaches into Andy and Quỳnh’s (much bigger and much colder) freezer nearly fifteen years later to retrieve a not-homemade ice pack and wrap it in a clean dishtowel for Andy’s poor crotch.

She’s lounging on the couch, even though she’s proven that she can walk, but Joe doesn’t mind, as she reaches back for the ice pack and shoots him a sly smile that says, Yeah, I know exactly which story you’re thinking about. He bats his eyelashes innocently back.

It’s a balmy Friday evening and Quỳnh’s still at work, though likely on her way home, so Joe has taken the liberty of cooking dinner. Andy begged to order a pizza, but Joe was not having it. And he thought himself to be the lax one of the bunch. If Nicky were in the kitchen at the time, it would have been anarchy.

“Thanks, Joe,” Andy says, as she settles into a more comfortable position on the couch with her ice pack, sighing. He adjusts the pillows at her back, which causes her to snort and slap his hand away.

“I’m not dying.”

Joe sniffs. “Yeah, coulda fooled me. How much did that baby weigh again?”

Andy laughs out a quiet, fuck off. “Nine pounds, eight ounces,” she says, quick as a whip.

“God…”

The baby, the reason for Joe and Nicky’s visit to Andy and Quỳnh’s apartment, is fairly chunky, sure, but he looks awfully tiny and pink, especially when he’s wearing his little hat. The hat with little lamb ears that Nicky painstakingly knit for him months ago, when he was barely more than a bump, that rarely leaves his soft little head. Nicky hadn’t even known how to knit at the time.

The baby’s name is Lykon, after a childhood friend of Andy and Quỳnh. Lykon was born at 4:26 AM on Monday. It’s Friday evening. Joe and Nicky have not left the apartment since Andy and Quỳnh brought him home.

And neither Andy nor Quỳnh have physically kicked them out, so Joe is staying right here.

Nicky had disappeared a few minutes ago to go change the baby while Andy napped, but he reappears then, slinking into the living room with Lykon held against his shoulder--he’s so little in Nicky’s hands, they almost swallow him--and Joe smiles at his husband in greeting before doing a double-take.

“Babe,” Joe says, and Andy cranes her neck to try and see Nicky over the back of the couch. “What are you doing?”

Nicky continues his journey across the living room floor--lunges, he’s doing lunges. Deep ones that make Joe’s eyebrows jump up in appreciation.

Nicky releases a finger from his gentle grip on the baby’s head and presses it to his lips. “Shush.”

“You trying to get your ass workout in while carrying my son? Really?” Andy asks.

Nicky’s response is whispered so softly, Joe can hardly hear him. “This is the only way I can get him to sleep.”

“Put him in the car seat,” Andy says, like it’s the most simple solution in the world.

“He likes it,” Nicky argues, still whispering.

Andy only shrugs. “Okay, but if he spits up on you…”

And right on cue, Joe hears a tiny gurgle, and there’s baby puke sliding down Nicky’s back.

Andy doesn’t say, told you so, but she doesn’t need to. Her smug grin is enough. With a poorly hidden pout, Nicky reluctantly hands the baby, who is now crying quiet little wobbly squeals, to Andy.

“You know,” Andy says, “you guys don’t have to stay. You have other commitments, I know.”

It’s the first time since Lykon’s birth that she’s said something like that, and Joe is only moderately surprised to feel a sudden onslaught of tears in his eyes.

“Or not,” she says, quickly. “We really appreciate your help, boys, it’s just… We don’t want to keep you.”

“Andy, shut up.”

She laughs, loud and open-mouthed. “Okay, Joe, okay. I love you guys.”

“We love you too,” Nicky says. Then he leans over the couch to peer into Lykon’s squishy little face. “And we especially love you.”

His voice changes when he talks to the baby. While Joe can’t control the way his voice raises several octaves and the way he coos gibberish, Nicky’s voice softens and hushes to something so comfortable, barely audible. It’s the way he would talk to a fussy toddler, Joe thinks, given the opportunity. He would level his eyes with them and speak to them like a person equal to him, providing the safest and most non-judgemental space for them.

Joe thinks. He hasn’t had many opportunities to see his husband speak with toddlers.

“I would be worried about you guys kidnapping him,” Andy says, “but I think it only counts as kidnapping if you leave the apartment.”

Joe snorts, and then he hears the water boiling over on the stove, so he dashes.

When Joe met Andy and Quỳnh, he had been a wide-eyed twenty-year-old, freshly out of the closet and already hopelessly in love. Well, that hasn’t changed, which always delights him to realize, after all these years. It was the love of his young life--Nicky, of course--who introduced him. Andy and Nicky were family friends, more like siblings, really, and of course Andy and Quỳnh had been together since the dawn of time. It took Joe no time at all to find a family in the four of them, inseparable as they all were.

Andy and Quỳnh had actually surprised him when they started talking about kids. That unexpected and world-changing conversation had been the beginning of a long and at times heartbreaking four years, before they finally got their donor, then suffered through a little over a year of IVF. They had almost given up, Joe remembers, between the frustration and the arguments and doctors telling Andy her eggs were too old. But, there he was, at the end of the journey, coming into the world flipping off everyone who said they couldn’t do it: Baby Lykon, the little warrior.

Joe remembers all of it vividly. The phonecall when they told him and Nicky they were pregnant, the panic to help them find a bigger apartment, the indulgent shopping trips, though Andy tried to keep a cap on those, and the weight and warmth of the baby in Joe’s arms the very first time he held him, barely thirty minutes after he’d been born.

Joe had sobbed, of course (something Andy and Quỳnh had anticipated so strongly they bet money on how long he cried for), and he looked into the baby’s big brown eyes and promised him the world.

They had talked about kids. Of course, they had. He and Nicky. But life was busy, and in the last five years between Joe finishing his dissertation and Nicky’s mother getting sick, the subject of kids just hadn’t come up. Besides, Joe thinks now, he’s only thirty-three.

Quỳnh comes home as he’s dishing up dinner for everyone--a creamy, cheesy pasta, because it’s the best comfort food--and her eyes brim with tears when she gets to hold Lykon again. She hasn’t been able to get a lot of time off work, even after becoming a new parent, which Joe thinks is frankly outrageous, but the work she does as a crisis counsellor is of course monumentally important.

They huddle around the couch to eat dinner, but Nicky pulls up one of the rickety chairs from the kitchen table and sits next to the baby, who is snoozing in his car seat on top of the coffee table. Joe doesn’t know how he does it, but Nicky manages to eat his dinner, drink enough water, and hold a conversation while keeping Lykon’s car seat rocking gently so he doesn’t wake up and scream.

Joe watches him as he chews his pasta mindfully and leans close to peer into the car seat. Beautiful. He’s always so beautiful, especially now. The way he looks at Lykon--their nephew, Joe realizes, elated--makes Joe’s head spin off his shoulders. He feels like he’s twenty.

“Crazy how tiny he is,” says Quỳnh, her voice soft and reverent. She already sounds so much like a parent. Joe’s eyes are still on his husband, so he sees how brightly Nicky smiles at that.

Andy makes an indignant noise. “Shut the fuck up.”

Quỳnh laughs, though she tries with obvious effort to keep quiet. She pulls Andy closer, her arm draped over her shoulder, and presses three kisses to her cheek. Then Quỳnh catches Joe’s eye and winks.

Andy shovels another forkful of pasta into her mouth and moans as she chews. With a full mouth, she says, “Joe, this is perfect. Please, boys, never leave.”

Joe shrugs bashfully, pretending to be shy. “It’s Nicky’s recipe.”

“What did you use,” Quỳnh asks.

Joe hums. He juts his chin to the kitchenette. “Your parmesan, mostly, and that fancy milk.”

“What fancy milk,” Andy asks, absolutely stuffing her face.

“Y’know.” Joe waves a hand. Chews, swallows. “The milk in the fancy bag, from the fridge.”

Andy and Quỳnh both stop eating, their eyes bugging out. Quỳnh slaps a hand over her mouth, poorly hiding a laugh and clearly choking a little, and Andy looks… Oh, Andy looks furious. Her face is red.

“J-” She forcefully lowers her voice, shooting a fearful glance at the baby. “Joe,” she whispers through her teeth. “Did you use my fucking breast milk?”

“Dio.” Nicky sticks his fork back into his dish.

“Oh,” Joe says, like an idiot. “Um.”

Andy’s cheeks puff out and somehow her face turns an even darker shade of red.

“I pumped…” she whispers, low and lethal, slow. “...For so… long…”

“There’s more in the fridge, babe,” Quỳnh says, and Joe fears for her life for a hot second. Then she brings her hand out to hover over Andy’s chest. “And it’s not like the tap is running dry, or whatever.”

“So I’m a milk bag.”

“A badass, sexy milk bag who--oh, who is murdering me with her eyes right now.” Quỳnh turns on Joe, then, scooping another forkful of breast-milk-pasta into her mouth and jabbing the fork in his direction. “You’re gonna be up all night paying my wife back for this, genius. See how skilfully you can wipe meconium from his bum.”

Joe only nods in shame. Fair enough.

Lykon signals that he’s awake, then, with a series of soft little snorty grunts that devolve very quickly into shrieking, wobbly sobs. Nicky launches into action with a speed that rivals the pitcrews at NASCAR. He lifts him from the car seat with such gentleness and oh, Joe’s heart breaks to see the baby’s little lips trembling as he cries, the way his little feet kick out against Nicky’s chest as he holds him over his forearms. Nicky is about to pass him to his moms when Quỳnh smiles softly up at him and says, “Looks like you’ve got him.”

He throws her a glance as if to ask, are you sure, and Quỳnh and Andy both nod. Joe’s sure they’re grateful to have the small amount of rest time and, looking at them now, curled together on the couch in their soft clothes, exchanging light kisses, he knows he and Nicky haven’t come close to overstaying their welcome.

“Look at you, Nico,” coos Andy as Nicky carefully holds the baby against his shoulder to peek at his diaper through the waistband his tiny pants. “You’re making us look bad.”

Nicky only chuckles lightly and shakes his head. The diaper must be clean, because he leaves it be and brings a hand up to cup the back of the baby’s wispy-haired head more steadily, and begins to hum, almost a whisper, and Joe’s heart flutters.

“Do you think he’s hungry?” Nicky asks Andy when the baby continues to fuss.

Turns out he is hungry, because he quiets almost immediately when Andy brings him to her chest. It’s not silent in the apartment--Joe can hear some sirens through the window on the streets far below, can hear the air conditioner groan to life, can hear Quỳnh and Nicky’s forks clink against their plates as they continue to eat the questionable breast-milk-pasta (good lord). And, Joe can hear the soft little grunts and snorts that the baby makes as he feeds.

Joe watches his oldest friends--they’re parents now, he can hardly believe it--as they huddle close on the couch and watch their son. Quỳnh wraps her arms under Andy’s so they’re both holding him, and his little chubby fist twitches and flings out every once in a while against Andy’s rolled-up shirt. His feet look impossibly small. Joe remembers the sounds he made when he and Nicky went shopping for all manner of baby supplies to help shave some stuff off Andy and Quỳnh’s list. He’d nearly sobbed when Nicky came up to the cart holding a pair of incredibly tiny socks (and then he had teared up and nearly passed out when Nicky popped the socks over his thumbs. A lot of people stared).

Joe would be lying to himself if he said he hadn’t been thinking of revisiting that store with Nicky every day since.

Now, he looks at his husband to find him already watching him, his heart in his eyes. Nicky slowly moves his gaze to their friends, to the baby, and Joe follows it. When their eyes meet again, Nicky’s are a little damp with tears, but he’s smiling, and there’s something inquisitive and hopeful in his eyes. Joe matches him and slowly, they both nod.

Yes.

[quietmyfearswith]

slipping into little space ; preferences

warnings — fluff?? mentions of nudity. hints a t sexy times

characters — andy barber, steve rogers, bucky barnes, lance tucker,  syverson, august walker

a/n — THIS IS A DDLG FIC,, was inspired by this ask! to the anon who requested for it i hope you like it and tell me what you think!

their love language | with their little | when you’re insecure

masterlist

Though the Thanksgiving dinner she was preparing was only for her and Andy, Y/N couldn’t help but stress and fret over almost every single thing; she wanted their first celebration of the said holiday to be perfect. Hence why she has been cooped up in the kitchen for almost the whole day, even though the dinner was still tomorrow. She baked a cheesecake and it was now cooling up in the fridge, the vegetable she decided to cut today so come tomorrow all she had to do was cook them, and now as she was marinating the turkey she found herself getting whiny and irritable. Andy entered their home quietly and observed his girl for a little while; her constant texts provided him updates about how hard she was working to perfect their meal tomorrow. And by the looks of it she had been working too much that her entire system was already begging for a break. “You okay in there, baby?” Hearing his voice caused Y/N to look up at him, her eyes glossy and her mouth curled up in a semi-convincing smile. Hanging his jacket by the coat hanger, he also dropped his briefcase by the door and sat on the couch.

“Come on over here, baby,”  He called for her and patted his lap. Y/N opened her mouth and was about to say no, but a stern look from Andy had her not continuing with that plan and instead she just removed her apron, leaving it on the counter, and plopping herself down on his lap. With her chest pressed against his, the lawyer then rubbed her back comfortingly, “I know you had a busy day; haven’t you, baby?” Hearing her mumble yes against his clothes, the man could only chuckle as he further coaxed her, “You can rest now, baby. You can stop being a big girl now; you can be my little missy again.” As if his words flipped a switch, she did find herself ridding of any remaining thoughts about their dinner and instead complied with his request — which was more like a demand. Peering up at him, her eyes were now wide but weren’t glossy, “Hi dada, I missed you.” Pleased with how his girl decided to let loose, Andy planted a deep kiss on her lips and after doing so he peppered kisses all over her face, “I missed you too, little missy. Now how ‘bout we both go take a bubble bath?”

One of August’s hobbies involved him fixing up his bike or adding whatever gadget he felt would look good on his bike. And since he was given a few weeks off, he took the time to get his hands oily and tinkle with his bike — but really the only reason why he was busying himself with the said vehicle was because his lovely girlfriend was busy with her own workload. Wiping his sweat with the shirt he had earlier discarded, August glanced at the clock and saw how it was already nearing the time they usually ate supper. Once entering the inside of their home, he headed straight for the office and was surprised to hear muffled cries coming from the room. Years of doing field work had allowed him to slip in easily without Y/N hearing him; he then listened closely to see if she had been talking to someone that made her cry, but after failing to hear her or someone else make a sound besides her sniffles, it was then that the CIA agent decided to intervene, “What’s wrong, Y/N?”

Her shoulders rose up and down in shock from her boyfriend’s sudden presence — by now she should have been used to his stealthily ways, but her crying lowered down her guard. She weakly pointed to her desk where pens, highlighters, papers, folders, and her laptop were scattered, “Work just got to me; it’s silly.” August, however, didn’t think of it that way and instead was worried his girl might have been overworking herself. Walking towards her, he grabbed both her hands so she could stand, “You’ve been such a good girl huh? Doing her work and working hard,” Part of Y/N was glowing from the praise and reveling in it; while the other part of her was going to complain to him how she still had more work to do. But just as she was going to do so, August lifted her chin so he could look at her, “How bout we eat dinner, hm? What would you like, little one? Some dino nuggies?” At the mention of her favorite food, she nodded her head up and down as she squealed, “Yes, daddy, I want some dino nuggies for supper!” Smiling he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, leading her away from her cause of stress and into the kitchen, “Alright then, some dino nuggies for my little one only because she’s been such a good girl; perhaps a sippy cup as well and some ice cream sandwiches for desert.”

Bucky remembered how he needed some more hair ties for his long hair; Sam somehow thought it was a bright idea to involve his hair ties for one of his pranks wars with Scott. As he and Y/N were on the hair product aisle, he ordered her to stay put by the cart as he quickly grabbed what he was looking for. Though she wasn’t permitted to walk around, her eyes did the wandering and once she had set her sight on a My Little Pony shampoo. She was able to hold herself back from physically cooing at it; Bucky placed some of the hair tie packets on the cart and noticed how his girlfriend’s eyes were trained onto something. “You want that, sweetheart?” Shocked with how casually he offered it to her, she found herself nodding with excitement. Chuckling, the super soldier grabbed a few bottles into their cart and told her how they should get going to pay and go home already.

As they both had paid already for their grocery items and were now driving to their home. “Thank you for buying me that shampoo.” Bucky nodded as he began driving, placing a hand on her thigh, “You can let loose now, sweetie. We’re going home now,” And with that Y/N found herself playing with his hand, a telltale that she was beginning to let herself become little again. “I love you, tătic, I can’t wait for our bath time later.” As they were stopped by a relight, Bucky reached over and planted a kiss on her forehead, “Me too, sweetie; but don’t forget about our playtime alright?”

When Y/N found out that Steve volunteered to be the overall head for the Avengers’ Thanksgiving outreach program, she decided to help along and shoulder half of the responsibilities that had been put on the hero’s shoulder. Which led them to the current situation they were in — they both were sorting out the food that had been cooked by the other team members and agents. “Okay, turkey, veggies, pasta,” Y/N listed out as she put the food in the bag and laid out in front of Steve so that he could place a greeting card on the basket before wrapping it up. “This makes it the 100th basket we did,” Steve took note as he was preparing the next card. 

The next few minutes were filled with hums from the two as a song played on the background while continuing on with their duties. Perhaps it was how repetitive the task got or tired Y/N was in overlooking the whole program, she was too far absent in her mind that she dropped some of the potatoes and made quite a mess. Looking over to Steve, she quickly apologized, “I’m sorry, Steve! I didn’t mean to drop it, I just got tired and was distracted.” Quickly putting down the cards he was holding, he made his way to over where she was and hugged her tight, “I know it was an accident, doll,” He felt his sweater dampen slightly with her tears, he didn’t want her to stop her crying but instead just let her cry out her frustrations. “I might have pushed you to work too much, doll.” She lifted her head up from where it rested on his chest and looked up at him, “You didn’t sir; I just wanted to help you.” Wiping the remainder of her tears, he was quick to counter, “And you were a big help, doll. But it’s time we both took a quick nap before continuing our work, okay? You’ve been such a good doll for me.”

Following Sy’s retirement from the army, he and Y/N decided to accomplish step one of their settling down plan and go buy a house. The move from their apartment to the detached bungalow they purchased had been a big one; but one they absolutely loved and looked forward to. Their new home had been filled with boxes — some were the things they brought from their old residence, while the others were newly purchased furnitures and appliances. “Hey Y/N are our clothes upstairs or in here?” Sy wondered after he walked through the first floor and didn’t catch a glimpse of the bag that contained their clothes. “Shit, hold on I’ll check,” She mumbled to herself and looked at the small notebook she had which contained the information about their move. Upon realizing that the mentioned bag would arrive tomorrow afternoon due to a mix up with the moving company, she could only groan out loud, “God, I’m such an idiot!”

Sy heard her from where she was currently sitting on the floor and pulling her hair out from the pantry, “What’s going on, baby girl?” There was an intention as to why the former Captain had dropped that pet name on her; he was already sensing how the whole move had overwhelmed Y/N and that she was reaching her limit of handling it. It was his way of allowing her to destress and engage in her comfort zone. “I’m sorry Captain, there was a mix up and the bag that had our clothes will be brought here tomorrow. The bags that are in the room are the linens for the bed,” She sobbed out and feared that he’d punish her for stupidity. But that wasn’t what was on the veteran’s mind as he crouched down in his knees and held his girl tight, “It’s okay baby girl, today was real stressful for the both of us,” Feeling her nod against him, he tried his best to reassure her that the day’s gone and it was time to rest, “Don’t worry about the clothes okay? At least they’ll be arriving tomorrow.” Kissing the top of her head, Y/N then asked softly, “What do we do now then?” Lifting her chin with a finger he smirked at her, “Well we can go put some linen and blankets in the bed; then we get to cuddle and sleep naked. How’s that sound, baby?”

When Lance brought up that he wanted to give little tokens of appreciation to his gymnasts for Thanksgiving, Y/N brought up that there were a lot of cute items that his students would love. They both were spending their afternoon on the couch; Lance was watching old performance videos of the gymnasts he was training as well as those of the competitors they were up against. While his girlfriend laid her head on his shoulder, scrolling through Etsy and bookmarking some gifts that stood out to her. There were also a few items that she saved that were things she liked — a stuffie, blanket, sippy cups or some pajamas. As she let out a whine about how cute the items were, the gymnastics coach paused the video he was watching and looked to his side, “What’s that all about?”

Pushing her phone to his sight, Y/N pouted, “I was looking at some gift ideas for your students but somehow I ended up looking at these little space items.” The man beside her chuckled as he took the phone and looked at some of the products she saved, “My angel wants some gifts too, huh?” Bashfully nodding her head, Y/N whispered, “Yes, papa, I do want some.” Swiping through some of the ideas she found he then declared, “And gifts you shall receive, since you’ve been a great help to me all the time, angel.” Y/N then shot up from where she was sitting and litter kisses on Lance’s face, repeatedly thanking him for generosity.