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dimiclaudeblaigan · 2 years ago

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In response to absolutely everything!!! Super long, so under the cut for me too.

Anon, you seem to have missed the absolute shitstorm of angry Claude fans. I can say with certainty that it's not people who just wanted Claude to team up with their faves who were angry with GW. I got many anons who were aggravated with how GW handled Claude and Almyra both, and most if not all of them were very strongly Claude fans for Claude himself, and mainly seemed to be people who considered him their top favorite or close to it.

At first in the Academy phase I would agree that Claude does what he does for his own benefit. He admits to using Byleth for instance, and the game actually forces you to let him see Jeralt's diary because he admits you either let him or he was going to steal-borrow it in the middle of the night. However, he grows out of that and starts to learn to actually care for people and call them his friends. Also, Lorenz in particular came to trust him enough to go against his own father to side with Claude and fight the Empire - something he never would've done in the Academy phase simply because he just did not trust Claude.

In AM, Claude says he makes moves that will benefit him, and yes, he still does that... but he isn't cruel about it. The important part to his character in AM is that he's not longer this self-imposed schemer and has opened his heart to trusting people, which is an extremely important part of his development. In AM we don't get to see his development happening in front of us, but he's changed a whole heckin' lot to be able to leave all of Fodlan, an entire half of his dreams, in Dimitri's hands, as well as his Fodlan family's heirloom relic.

This is a huge contrast to Academy Claude, who in GD brings up wanting to use the Sword of the Creator himself - again, reminding us that he's working with Byleth because it benefits him directly. Here in AM, he's literally handing off his most powerful weapon to someone he trusts and leaving the lives of his Fodlan people and his friends in someone else's hands. Does it benefit him? Sure, - but at no emotional or physical harm to anyone at all. He even mentions not wanting gratitude.

Fact is, everyone in life does things to benefit themselves, but Claude grows out what he refers to himself as in the very beginning of the game - "the embodiment of distrust". In GW, he never grows out of that and is called out multiple times on not having any trust in his supposed friends, and Hilda even voices concerns about having a central authority, i.e. a king, in her and Claude's supports.

Yes, Claude and Dimitri are different people, but they're not so different that Claude was afraid to leave half his dream under Dimitri's watch while he left. They have different ways of getting to the same goals. In CF/VW, Edelgard and Claude can't agree at all because he doesn't agree with her methods/behavior, and she refuses to leave Fodlan in a foreigner's hands. In GW/SB she doesn't care about all that because Claude is her "ally" (officially, though he baaasically makes comments about planning to backstab her and actually can in SB).

She's not going to get in his way and isn't actively opposing her. In Hopes in general she is very vocal about crushing any opposition to her goals (example, her supports with Balthus). In Hopes, Claude stops doing that so she leaves him alone when he stops. However, the amount of people dying due to their alliance is something Houses Claude would be against. The idea of Hopes Claude is that his moral compass is questionable.

Being an opportunist though doesn't mean you need to take the dangerous route. It doesn't mean people have to get hurt in the process. He's an opportunist in AM too, but because he took the opportunity to get help for his country when he became aware that the Kingdom was fighting back in their capital, thus informing him Dimitri was out of his own head. He took advantage of the Kingdom's strength, and yes, he took advantage of knowing him and Dimitri had similar ideas for the future to be able to leave poor Dimitri with all the Alliance's paperwork... but this opportunist behavior wasn't done by having to hurt anyone. Claude doesn't choose the violent path unless it's the last resort available to him, and considering Dimitri wants all the same things as Claude does, there's no reason to fight him.

As for Claude teaming up with Edelgard in GW, that's where things fall apart entirely. It did not benefit him to do that. In GW, you're playing the winning force. He had no reason to team up with her, and yes, that includes to keep causalities to a minimum, because what did he do by teaming up with her? Caused more people to be killed in the long run, because he continued fighting a war and getting his own people killed to fight her war, as well as killed many Faerghus citizens because ???

And by all things in the world don't you dare be that anon that came to me telling me "it was just soldiers" that died, implying they're not people and citizens too. Being a soldier doesn't suddenly make you fodder to die, and if you believe that you're disgusting. If I sound extremely specific, it's because my sister was in the army before and thus a soldier (who got promoted! She ranked pretty high by the time she left!) and if anyone thinks her life was just fodder and that she would've been an acceptable loss if she died, I hope you burn in the deepest depths of hell and never know peace. I sincerely mean that. :)

So yeah, Claude basically got his own soldiers killed again and again by going into fights he could've avoided by making demands of the losing force - the Empire - in GW. Yes, maybe Edelgard would've continued attacking, but at that point he could just, you know, do what he did in AG, and get help from the entire rest of Fodlan fighting against her too instead of causing an immense number of people to die by helping the Empire (his own people fighting for her, the Kingdom's people fighting against her, and the Church goers who were being attacked by the Alliance for reasons they didn't understand and were just trying to protect themselves). In AG he will of course lose some of his own soldiers, but not at the cost of his soldiers, Faerghus' soldiers and the Church's soldiers collectively. Yes, they will all have losses, but at the cost of trying to defend their freedom as allied forces.

Edelgard can give all the reparations she wants - it would never amount to what Dimitri and the Church would do to help the Alliance people in need, and that's because Edelgard is only helping them enough to use their forces to power up her own for her war. If they didn't ally with her and thus fight with her, she would not do that. If Claude didn't fight for or against Faerghus, they would've still helped the Alliance if they needed help... and oh wait, that's AM. Hence, proving Edelgard was only giving some assistance to continue her war, but the Kingdom doesn't have strings attached to their help.

AM Dimitri was going to just leave the Alliance after helping them so he could continue fighting back against the Empire. Claude was the one who freely gave his army to Dimitri to support him in the war. Dimitri didn't help him expecting favors. Edelgard would've kept fighting in Hopes if Claude wasn't allied with her because her help had strings attached. Also, since her goal was unification, Claude not only expected to return to war with her post obliterating the Church, but she would still consider the Alliance to beneath the Empire and would want them to, effectively, become part of the Empire (hence, unification).

So, what does Claude get from this? An extended war. He'll end up having to fight the Empire again anyway when they refuse to submit and become part of the Empire - except this time there's no way Faerghus is going to help them (and Hapi expresses in GW that she knows Faerghus is never going to forgive them. Also, she explicitly calls them scummy at one point because she realizes they would've killed her and Constance if they didn't submit to them, which is... exactly what the Empire does).

Ultimately, Claude and Edelgard don't want to eliminate the same threat. Edelgard wants to wipe out the Nabateans, and GW Claude thinks Rhea BaD and doesn't care one whit to actually look into things to figure out if anything he's worried about is correct. He also knows the Kingdom is not in a position by any means to go against the Church (the Church has helped them in times of need, they need the manpower to fight the Empire, and Dimitri doesn't want to risk a civil war after they just got out of one. Felix was also the one to cut their conversation short from going in circles to be like hey yeah we're going to war against the Empire plain and simple, there are no other options). Instead of trying to snoop for answers and maybe even ally with them to get closer to Rhea and co to figure out what was going on, he makes assumptions and runs with them (which is completely uncharacteristic of Claude and a huge reason why his fans were so angry by this).

NOW as for what the other folks here had to say, obviously I'm in agreement with them, but for additional details...

Like the initial response, I've gone over that siding with Edelgard doesn't end the war faster. Actually, again, it just lengthens it, because one Rhea BaD is out of the picture, the Empire will still be gunning for unification (and Hopes mentions through Duke Aegir that the Empire has attempted this for generations. In other words, Edelgard won't stop at it either. The Empire has been trying to overthrow all of Fodlan for a very, very long time). Once the Alliance doesn't submit, they're back at war, except this time there's no Faerghus to help them, and in fact, Sylvain might even initiate an attack on the Alliance while they're wrapped up in war against the Empire.

Yes, Faerghus' forces were hurt, but Sylvain is a man of vengeance as much as Dimitri, and doubly so in Hopes. He's almost a mini early AM Dimitri with how vengeful he is. Would he plan out an attack against them while they were weak to avenge his father? Yes. He would. I absolutely believe he would. Why would Claude risk that? ...Oh right. Because he didn't think it through. At all. And since Sylvain's in charge over there now, I can assure you Miklan would end up in a position of high power/authority, and evidently he's too OP in GW/SB to be defeated, so now Claude has brains and brawn that could beat his ass to the moon and back.

What, did you think I wouldn't insert Miklan into a post where it was applicable? You silly readers!

But it's true.

As OP said, in Claude's viewpoint it wouldn't be justified to keep the war going even on Edelgard's end... but that uses logic from his own perspective and not hers. In her justification, well, it's still justified.

ALSO as OP said, Claude blames the Church because lel why not. In fact, he blames them for Faerghus' woes, which is A: none of his business, and B: things he clearly has zero understanding of. Might I remind you that Lambert was veeeery actively negotiating with foreign lands (enough that he was willing to personally go to Duscur despite being another land's king and having his right hand man personally against the idea that the king himself went exactly for the reason of what happened) and that Rhea didn't do anything to stop him. Now, might I remind you with the fact that the reason Dimitri doesn't pursue this immediately upon becoming king is because he learned his goddamn lesson when his father was murdered for attempting "radical changes" and far too quickly.

Might I additionally remind you that the people who are against Rhea/the Central Church, i.e. the Western Church, were spurred to action by TWS. It was never Rhea who tried to shut down the changes Lambert was making. While yes, Rhea is worried about what people might do if they knew she was Nabatean (oh look Edelgard proved her whole ass point and all her paranoia and reasons for doing what she did absolutely correct), she very much allowed foreigners into her own home and even allowed them to school there. Hell, even despite people hating Dedue and not trusting Cyril, she didn't give a fuck. It was her home and her say, and she trusted them and let them in. Obviously they're not all the foreigners allowed at GM, but they were the least trusted/most hated and she did not give a fuck.

But... as OP said in their continued response, all those reasons just make Claude look so stupid and thoughtless. No thoughts, head empty. That's it. That's Hopes Claude. Otherwise he would reason that the Church isn't the reason for all of Fodlan's woes. Also, how dare Rhea adopt a fellow Almyran and care for him so deeply (do you need me to get that post? Do you?)? How dare the Almyran boy she saved from Goneril (right hand family to Claude's family, and we oop!) slavery care enough to protect her with his life! ...But see, there's another issue. Claude doesn't even think twice about why an Almyran boy is defending Rhea with his life. Again - no thoughts, head empty. It's just reeeeally extreme in this case.

As per the second response...

things like that are natural character progression in writing. They may have planned him to be a certain way at first, but eventually he developed beyond that. Honestly, where they were going with him kind of is who he started out as, but that's the whole idea of storytelling. He started that way and grew out of it. While he was relatively harmless and made non-lethal poisons, he was still emotionally manipulative and just downright mean sometimes.

Here's the catch though. Claude was still extremely intelligent. He was manipulative and sometimes pretty mean/cruel, but he wasn't a dumbass. He could get what he wanted no matter how awful it appeared to be, and being charismatic was part of that. He could do the nasty things while smiling and being polite, and that was the crappier side of him early on. However, he didn't make stupid decisions while being a bit mean because he knew how to manipulate people's emotions. He knew how to get what he wanted while not risking people turning against him.

The ice queen heart he had in the Academy phase was healing with time in Houses, so while he was initially intended to be basically more cruel and whatnot, well, he was, but he got past that. It would've been annoying if he didn't get character development and growth and just stagnated as a character to fulfill that initial viewpoint of what they wanted him to be.

That's where Hopes fails. They didn't have the time to give him his Academy phase development, and evidently they didn't know what to do with him because of it. Yes, in Hopes, because of his lack of character growth, he remains cold and distance, yadda yadda. However, again, Claude wouldn't make dumb decisions that put his wants as risk. He would know to be persuasive and get people to like him. Making all of Faerghus and every surviving Church member his enemy is not that. Remember, Seteth survives in GW. How does he know Seteth won't come back with a vengeance? How does he know the two biggest brains in all of the Church and Faerghus, Seteth and Sylvain, won't come together and make plans to, rightfully so at this point, wipe out the Alliance?

He doesn't know, because he didn't even consider it. Local man did not think five steps ahead when he attacked them.

Also, continuing with what the second responder said, yeah - Claude is a pretty nice guy who understands people's pain (ex. his supports with Marianne in Houses). He covers that up because he's Seen Some Shit and Been Through Some Shit, and he doesn't want to risk being too nice or letting his guard down.

But see, that's why he's so interesting in Houses. He's calculating and sometimes cruel about it and not the nicest guy... but that closed off part of him is because he's been through what he has. He's a nice, sweet, fun guy, but also has flaws and is trying so desperately to reach his goals that sometimes he has to be a big meanie to do it, given that it won't actually take any lives. No, he was not going to murder Byleth to read Jeralt's diary, but yes, he was going to sneak it in the middle of the night to get his hands on it regardless of how Byleth felt about that.

Also, he originally thought Lorenz being in charge boded ill for his dreams, but he eventually got to know Lorenz and realized that wasn't the case. Lorenz's issues were with Claude specifically because he had reason to distrust him, and Claude knew he wasn't the most honest and up front person. Claude was giving good reasons for Lorenz to be wary of him.

Again though, Claude was doing those crappy things and giving himself a bad image, but his heart was somewhere else entirely, yearning for a happier life. He was a complex human being of a character - not a prop for Edelgard to fight her war. He had moments where even in Houses, I'd be like wow that's not cool Claude. I can still love him as a person, but his story is interesting and complicated, and that story shaped who he started out as and who he became.

Hopes said yeehaw we don't want any of this complicated and complex human being stuff, and that is also true in Dimitri's route. He's basically the perfect version of Dimitri with significantly fewer internal struggles. Hopes did that to Claude too, he just... got the worst end of the stick and Dimitri was given a good story to make up for his lack of internal struggle.

I've mentioned this before, but yeah, the Almyran stuff was very uncomfortable. I have no issue with Lorenz telling people not to pillage and all that because it's true to his character to voice an adamant and firm stand on being against that, but it's the manner in which that scene happened that becomes uncomfortable. Suddenly the brown people all love to pillage and go home and brag about it, to which they receive a positive reception for it. Cultured white man has to tell the brown people not to pillage, because the other brown guy in the scenario (Claude) won't do it instead, despite Claude supposedly being against that stuff too (so why didn't Claude say it instead of Lorenz, when Claude is supposed to be the top person in charge?).

Honestly, it just kinda makes my stomach turn thinking about the implications of how Almyra was handled the more I talk about it. Unfortunately, Claude was part of that and was not used as a character to try to fix that image (again, having been the central authority, he should've been the one to tell Nader not to pillage, but for some reason local white man has to do it and local brown man just listens and accepts it). Then there's that NPC who was absolutely baffled that pillaging wasn't allowing in Leicester and just "figured they had different rules". Ummmm, YIKES?

Local brown man Claude being extremely intelligent, handsome and well meaning was super awesome. Hopes took all those qualities and threw them out the window, but also just made him stupid and prone to resorting to violence before anything else to boot (imagine if he'd just sent a messenger to Dimitri directly to talk to him before invading instead of immediately assuming that was out of the question???).

And yes, Claude is his own character. He doesn't exist to prop up Dimitri or Edelgard... but well shit, there's our problem! That is what he exists for in Hopes. VW Claude has his own separate story where he makes his own decisions. He doesn't vibe with Rhea, but he's understanding and reasonable with her. He got mad at her one time, but he was otherwise very considerate with her given the severity of the situation and how quickly they needed answers. He was as kind and reasonable as he could be. He eventually got impatient, but he didn't treat Rhea poorly simply because he didn't understand her initially.

Also worth mentioning that Claude and Seteth had a somewhat negative relationship in the Academy phase. It was not Rhea he had a poor relationship with. He was suspicious of her, but it was Seteth he got aggravated with. Mind you, they got past that when Claude grew up more and they worked together very well! They had development together and they didn't hold their old misconceptions about each other against each other. People almost always insist Claude and Rhea didn't get along and all that, but no, they were always pretty neutral to each other. It was Seteth that Claude had more obvious eh feelings toward, and lo and behold they got over it. They joined forced in VW to fight against the Empire despite that "he hates the Church", so uhhh... he probably doesn't hate the Church!

So uh, yeah, in stark contrast to what anon was saying about "Hopes Claude just doesn't exist to prop up someone's fave", well, uh, yeah actually. That's all he's there for. In AG he gets a little more freedom where he's allowed to be part of the conversation and they all make plans together, and gosh jolly look at him and Rhea making plans together and complimenting each other. Gosh jolly, look at Claude not giving away his plans to Dimitri and co and showing up "late" because it was part of the plan. AG Claude at least wasn't a puppet to anyone's goals and was treated as an equal.

Claude didn't seem to trust Rhea in AG either, but he never makes a big stink of having to eliminate her in AG because he's most likely come to the conclusion that things really aren't as bad as he feared and that Dimitri does actually have things under control. Just because he's not making the same mistakes his father made doesn't Dimitri isn't attempting change.

That's also why the "golden route" chapter conversation with Dimitri and Claude is so incredibly left field in AG. It's entirely out of nowhere that Claude starts talking about that stuff and suddenly Dimitri is worried that Claude might turn on them later, even though up to that point he had wholehearted faith that Claude was on their side and not going to trick them. Might I remind you that immediately after that chapter Dimitri goes right back to unconditional trust and faith in Claude, even while all his closest allies/friends express very vocal doubt that Claude will even help them.

Again, it puts that conversation in a void even weirder than the void it happened in, because Dimitri just randomly, for no given reason, has doubts about Claude's intentions wholly isolated to that conversation in contrast to literally anything else he's ever done and said to/about Claude in AG. He was stated by Dedue to have been up all night situating the Alliance when they first arrived, and Claude gave some of his best officers to the Kingdom army as a sign of good faith from his end.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, that chapter happens and Dimitri is like well hm, I sure shouldn't trust Claude for like a solid three minutes and openly doubt him even though he's been honest and upfront with me until now. It's just stupid and exists to put GW Claude into perspective about how untrustworthy he is there, because that conversation fits for GW Claude - not AG Claude.

Onto the last response...

Likewise, Claude didn't agree with Edelgard's war but remained neutral because it benefitted him/his people. It's not where his heart was, but he had to do it and could offer no help to any side for five years. It took everything he had to keep the Alliance together. If he had known Dimitri was alive, maybe he would've sent out scouts to locate him like the Kingdom did. Maybe if he'd known they could get help, he could've spoke to the Roundtable that he wanted to try finding Dimitri and give them a chance to fight off the Empire and actually have the manpower to do so. He had no choice but to stay out of the war because the Alliance wasn't known for its military might. They would've gotten crushed.

The Kingdom was, unlike in Hopes, in total disarray, so the Empire didn't need to fight as hard against them. They could've put all their effort into the Alliance, and they could not have withstood that. Thus, Claude stayed out of everything because it was the safest option for the whole Alliance. He put up the neutrality front even though they were actually split because if he let that get out, it would just be a disaster and put the Alliance at war with itself with some of its people fighting for Edelgard and some of them fighting for independence, and in this case, without any outside help because there was nobody to help (insert Bob meme here).

Claude didn't make a move outside of neutrality until he had enough manpower to do so - that is, in VW or in AM's case after he realized Dimitri was alive, and further so when he found out they were fighting to take back their own capital. It told him that Dimitri was becoming more stable again and that he could actually ask for help this time, and he knew (which he expressed to Judith) that if they'd taken their capital back, they'd definitely show up to help the Alliance with their capital.

In AM, he remained neutral until he couldn't anymore (Gronder had to happen somehow for the devs to stick in their three way battle ¯\_(ツ)_/¯), and then as soon as there was hope for an alliance to fight back, he jumped on it. In other words, he held out against the Empire and never joined forces with them at all no matter what... and as soon as the opportunity to fight back against them presented itself, he took it. He even admitted it was riskier than usual - that's how quickly he jumped on that opportunity.

In Hopes, he doesn't need to hold out in GW because they were literally winning, which makes sense for Hopes because the Kingdom was not in any disarray, had a king for a central authority, even had the added assistance of Duscur, and the Empire literally could not get past Arianrhod for the life of them. In other words the Empire wasn't having smooth sailing but actually struggling against the Kingdom, which helped the Alliance to win against the Empire.

So... Claude had no reason to join forces with the Empire. At all. If anything he could've either stayed neutral and told them to cut the shit or they would just lose more battles against the Alliance, or he could've joined up with the remaining forces in Fodlan and ended the war much sooner. Like yeah, the odds of ending the war sooner are more in the favor of the Alliance, Kingdom and Church versus the Empire than it would be two on two. The Kingdom is also known for its military might and Arianrhod, which they still had both of.

What point is there in literally ever siding with the Church or the Kingdom, if siding with Edelgard was on the table?

Exactly this. He went through presumed headache after presumed headache to keep things looking neutral. He could've just sided with Edelgard and she would have stopped attacking them. He held up because he believed in what the Alliance stood for and didn't want to lose everything they'd made for themselves by submitting to Edelgard. The Kingdom and Church were losing the war in Houses, so it would be more reasonable to ally with Edelgard. He doesn't though, because that's not what he wants to do and not want he believes in. He holds out, struggling, until the very moment any spark of hope (no pun intended lord almighty) pops up for them to fight back. In VW it's Byleth/Seteth, and in AM it's Dimitri.

In CF and SS, he leaves and goes back to Almyra (assuming he's spared in CF of course), basically giving up because they've lost and not wanting to push things further when there was no going back up from there. In the one chance he has to actively ally with Edelgard, i.e. when he speaks to her post battle in CF, he doesn't. He just... leaves the continent entirely. He tells his soldiers to fight for the Empire because he doesn't want them to keep up the struggle and die over it when they've already lost. He, personally though, does not ever side with her and instead will sooner leave the whole continent and go back to the land full of people who attempted to take his life as a child over siding with her. Yyyyikes.

While I don't think Claude explicitly lies about doing things for his benefit, he frames it to sound a lot worse than it actually is. What he does "for his own benefit" is typically also for the Alliance's benefit (which siding with Edelgard would not be because they'd be risking their independence). If he was doing everything for his own benefit, he could've given the Alliance to Edelgard and said here, take it, I don't want to die for them.

The reason he gives the Alliance to Dimitri though in AM is because Dimitri isn't out for conquest. Rather, he just knows Dimitri will take care of those lands in Claude's absence. Edelgard was after unification from the get go to make Fodlan only known as Adrestia again - i.e. her intention was to remove their sense of self. Again, that's apparently been a thing the Empire has done for a very long time. Dimitri never had the intention to rule the Alliance or Fodlan.

Claude wanted to continue with his ambitions though, which yes, in a way is selfish! He gives the Alliance to Dimitri despite them trying to stay independent... but he proooobably also realizes Dimitri wouldn't strip them of their identity. Claude had to do that himself to prevent any issues down the line (such as "we're independent from the Kingdom and Dimitri has no rule over us), but it's worth noting that his soldiers still refer to themselves as Alliance soldiers and continue to wear their own colors while in Dimitri's army. Yes, it's kind of still selfish of Claude to do all that, but he at least managed to convince the Roundtable that it would be okay, which he could not do when it came to the Empire. That was why there was infighting - some wanted to surrender and minimize causalities, and some wanted to fight for independence.

But... look at that. In his most selfish act as a leader in a non VW route, he sides with and gives the Alliance to... Dimitri. So, in his most selfish, "I want to do this because it benefits my desired future" moment, it ends up being Dimitri who he drops all of his paperwork on (poor Dimitri! He has eye strain from paperwork, Claude! D: im kidding. for those people who will actually take that seriously and think im mad at claude. i know they're out there.)

Innnn other words, he would never for any reason side with Edelgard, logically, and that's why it makes no sense in Hopes. It's not him, it's not what he wants, it's not what he'd even do in his most selfish of moments. It's just... not him. Dimitri is the best person to help him with his dreams, so in AM he takes advantage of that. In VW Dimitri is dead so he can only rely on Byleth. In CF his dreams are just dead and gone and he seems to realize that.

No, he's not heartless, but yes, he does still gun for "Dimitri is what's best for what I want", so what I'm saying is that even in his most selfish moments to achieve his own personal goals, he sides with the group opposing Edelgard. This includes the Church, btw. Even though they're not Dimitri level of wanting the exact same ideals for the future, they're the best chance of him having a future that involves open borders and-- OH DEAR ME, DID I SAY THAT? SIDING WITH THE CHURCH WOULD ALLOW HIM TO SEE HIS FUTURE VISION COME TO LIFE WITH OPEN BORDERS? Wow, it's almost like... Claude realized the Church wasn't... the source of all of... Fodlan's problems... Damn, he needs to have a sit down talk with Hopes Claude!

HOWEVER, yes, I do agree that Claude does put up a front. He makes himself out to be worse than he is.

but, hey, he SAID one thing, so LITERALLY EVERYTHING HE EVER DOES THAT GO AGAINST THIS IDEA must not mean anything!

This is one of the biggest problems in this fandom, unfortunately. They take words at face value and don't bother considering that people do lie or withhold truths. Felix is one of those people. People are so insistent that he actually hates his father because uwu he said he does so it's obviously true. Meanwhile Felix is finished writing and about to submit his advice box note about regretting hitting his father as a child and wishes he could take it back but knows it's too late. Felix then goes onto the internet and sees people taking his words at face value and groans and slams his head on the desk.

Hopes was written by a group of meth-addled giraffes banging their heads against keyboards.

That is... the most wonderfully colorful description I have ever seen about this and I thank you for it.

Were those words meant to just be cute?

Yes because they have him siding with uwu supreme leader. Ofc they're cute. They're adorable, surely. I mean, the stans do think so...

See, I like Claude siding with Dimitri... because... it... works best for his character! It... hold on, gotta check my notes... makes... sense, wow!

Inb4 someone is like "you just want Claude to side with him bc you ship them". Like, actually, no, I ship them because of reasons handed to me by canon, so... can't help ya with that assumption.

The end of GW is her getting Fodlan on a fuckin' golden platter

That's why it's called Golden Wildifre. Didn't you hear the devs talking amongst themselves about it? They leaned over to each other and whispered all about it!

Anyway, I love how we tried to be civil about it even though Claude fans are annoyed by these repetitive takes but prev responder was just not having it at this point lel.

Like, yeah, we're mad that Hopes Claude was made to be a prop for someone's fave, because Houses treated him much better.

It's just so hilarious to me that people will say that kind of thing to Dimitri fans simply because he allied with him in AM. These people will also say shit like "you're mad he sided with MY fave instead of yours". Like... that's basically what you're saying here anon, even if you don't mean to (even if she's not your fave, you're still implying it's better that he sided with her over "someone else's fave" and that that's all there is to Claude's character despite trying to say otherwise by defending his decision to side with her the way you are). That's exactly what the stans are saying. He was written in Houses to be a full character in and of himself, but he's just not that in Hopes. That's why his fans are so angry with the writing, let alone all the racist implications that make our stomachs churn.

People like him siding with Dimitri instead because... it's actually in character for him to do so. It's in character for him to learn about and understand the Church and not see them as enemies. It's not in character for him to invade Faerghus without even making the attempt to reach Dimitri for a message first, because if he had, he would've learned the truth up front and could have even requested for Rhea and Seteth to show up to hear things directly from them.

Yes, I understand that Claude made bad decisions because he was stressed and overwhelmed. However, so was Houses Claude, and that Claude still kept the Alliance neutral by outward appearances. Yes, I understand that Hopes Claude was a few years younger and that leadership was consequently more difficult for him, but Houses Claude held the line for five years, starting sooner than his Hopes counterpart because Edelgard began the war two years earlier in Houses than in Hopes.

In other words, Claude was even younger in Houses when the war started. He was thrown into it sooner at a younger age and still managed to step up and keep things on the down low for the Alliance without giving in to the pressure of trying to lead during a war.

is GW's direction really that crazy when you think about it? feels more like people are just salty that Claude didn't team up with their faves on his route because people look at Claude as a third party that validates their side. But what I saw in Hopes fit what I thought about Claude from Houses Claude does whatever he feels most benefits his goals at the moment regardless of morals. He teams up with Faerghus when he feels it benefits him most, he teams up with the Church when he feels it benefits him most, he teams up with the Empire when he feels it benefits him most and he throws his allies to the dogs when he feels it benefits him most. Like in Houses, Claude tells Dimi before leaving in Azure Moon that this is how he operates and that he only makes moves that he thinks benefit him. That's the story trying to communicate how Claude and Dimi are different. Do fans think he's just trying to be cute or that his words mean nothing? Claude's not a man of rigid principles, he's an opportunist. He, the other characters and supplementary material repeat that same message about him over and over again too. like Claude's not supposed to be a uniformly kind person, he's friendly and pleasant to talk to but someone that can be amoral or moral depending on the circumstances. And in GW, an alliance with Edelgard was more personally beneficial to him than trying to team up with Faerghus. They have the bigger force, they're paying Leicester significant reparations, they're getting stability at his southern border and they want to eliminate the same threat.

I mean.... It kinda is a crazy direction.

The issue isn't just the differences between Hopes!Claude and Houses!Claude. That could be a whole other explanation on its own, but since you have framed it as in-character, let's go over the other reason why it is a poor direction on its own.

The biggest issue, anon, is that Hopes!Claude... is an idiot.

Nothing he does or says makes much sense when you add up all the worldbuilding elements together into one big pile.

For example, he decides to side with Edelgard and wipe out the Church. He believes this will end the war quicker, and remove Edelgard's justification for war. And if that justification is gone, then Edelgard will have no choice but to cease her aggressions, or else the war is no longer justified.

However, this logic ignores sooooo many things. The first is that Edelgard publicly declares that the Kingdom and Alliance are false nations that only exist due to meddling forces. That should be a red flag right there and then. Not only that, but Edelgard invaded his nation and beelined for the capital. That should have been another red flag. If Edelgard didn't wish to take over the Alliance, she would have had no need to go for the throat.

Claude even admits that Edelgard might not stop her war. He should know that someone may not stop a war just because it is no longer "justified". And yet, he continues to side with her.

Here is another one. Claude puts a lot of blame on the Church for... basically everything wrong with Foldan. Forced marriages. Fierce border protections. The existence of nobility. The lack of freedom for nobles. I mean, just everything and anything you can think of, in his eyes it is the fault of Rhea and her Church.

But how can he come to that conclusion? Does he live under a rock? Is he not the leader of the Alliance? Does he not know that Edmund, within his own Alliance territory, makes trades with other nations outside of Foldan? When he went to school, did he not see how people of Duscur, Brigid, and Almyra got places in the classroom? How a woman from overseas got to be a Knight of Seiros? Even if he only spent two weeks there, surely he saw something, no?

He is also a prince of another nation. A nation with no Church, and no Crests. And they still have a King and nobility of their own. So why is he blaming the Church for such things? He literally is from another nation.

Hopes!Claude feels like he was written by a young author who is just starting out. There is no logic to his thinking. He just hates the Church because the writers needed him to.

And what makes it worse is that Claude is supposed to be the smart one. He is lauded as the brilliant tactician. The guy who thinks 5 steps ahead in every chess match. But he comes across as the most ignorant of the three lords, who cannot see past his own nose.

So yes, this is why is it a crazy direction. It's not just because of any misalignment of his character from Houses. It's because within Hopes itself, Claude is just a moron that it is hard to take him and his thought processes seriously.

#Claude #Three Hopes #Three Houses #FE16 #Fodlan #is this the longest thing i've ever written on this site? very well might be!

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angry-geese · 3 years ago

Text

To You Someday

Choso x Reader

Warnings: sfw. mention of periods, and blood, but overall its sfw. afab reader.

Summary: some very self indulgent fluff with choso comforting the reader when they're on their period. i needed a bit of fluff to balance out the fact that for the last like month ive posted nothing but smut

Word Count: 1.7k

Without fail, once a month you have this conversation. And once a month, without fail, he thinks you're dying.

He didn't quite understand the first time you explained it. You aren't dying, which is what caught him most off guard. He saw the slightest bit of blood on the sheets once—an accident really, you didn't know your period had started until a few hours after it happened—and quite literally thought you were dying. You spent a while explaining to a frantic, grieving Choso that you weren't about to die. Nobody can bleed for that long and not die. You have to tell him that you, in fact, can, and that this is something a lot of people deal with. He gets that it's normal, but seeing you in pain stresses him out.

It doesn't seem to matter how many times you tell him to not fuss over you, he always will. Worrying is in his nature. You're precious to him, he's not about to let you slip through his fingers. God forbid you try to lift something heavy, or try to do anything physically taxing. Choso insists on doing everything for you. However well meaning, his presence is a bit suffocating at times.

Having spent most of his life in a test tube, with only the faintest notion of what goes on around him, modern life was a bit of a shock. He had little notion of how the modern world works. Everything seems to happen so fast, the world is so loud and bright and busy. He’s overwhelmed. It feels like the second he gets the hang of one thing, something else comes up entirely. But even as he’s frustrated, or down on himself for not getting something, you’re always there to comfort him. You never judge him for needing help.

You like to think he’s adjusted well over the past year. With the help of you and Yuji, he’s settled into a normal(ish) life. It’s hard to consider life normal when you’re constantly dealing with curses, but there’s some sense of normalcy to it.

You were one of the first people to help him. It was a long process. Even today he’s still adjusting as the world changes around him. He owes you a debt he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to pay you back for. You tell him he doesn't owe you anything, but he still insists on paying you back. With what, he’s not certain yet.

He didn't understand his feelings for you at first. Choso cared about you deeply—he cared about Yuji—but his love for you was so much different than his love for his brother. Choso has always been affectionate. Not just to Yuji, but to you too. When you spend so much time together, it's hard to not love someone, even if just a little bit. He saw you as a friend; and then he didn't.

He found his every waking moment consumed by the thought of you. You weaved your way into every corner of his mind. From the moment he woke up, to the moment he shut his eyes, he was thinking of—or seeing things—that reminded him of you. Even in his dreams too. You made his heart race every time you talked to him, to the point he thought he was dying. Everything made his heart flutter. His brother had to explain to him that no- that's normal when you have a crush.

He loved you.

He’s never been so in-love.

He was head-over-heels, in fact. He still is. Even as you moved past the honeymoon phase of your relationship, he still was so hopelessly in love. Maybe it never ended, the two of you only grew used to being around each other. The others constantly make remarks about how they’ve never seen two people so in-love.

Yuji was the first to help him figure out his feelings. Choso had no clue what a crush was. He knew he wanted something more than friendship. He wasn't sure what. But he wanted it. Though you were less vocal with your feelings, everyone around you knew. From lingering gazes, to your eagerness to spend time with him, it was obvious. It seemed like everyone but the both of you knew.

Yuji wanted to help him plan some big reveal. He spent weeks scheming an elaborate plan. It had to be special. He wanted it to be a big day for the two of you. He wanted you to know, but he wanted his reveal to be special.

Choso’s confession was entirely accidental.

You had come back from a job injured. It wasn't anything fatal, but he had warned you not to go alone, and in turn spent the entire day worrying about you. So when he came back to find you bleeding out all over your bathroom counter, he panicked. A little blood never bothered him. Until it was your blood. He pulled you into an impulsive kiss.

And when he told you how he felt, you grinned wider than he’d ever seen. He wasn't surprised that you felt the same way, more that he was relieved. Surprise isn't the right word for it. Yuji let it slip that you felt the same way.

It’s become a nightly routine for the two of you. In the evening, while watching a movie or getting settled down for the night, he’ll have you play with his hair. He says it helps him sleep. You can believe it. He’s usually knocked out within minutes of you starting. Tonight is no different. He drags you out into the living room, sitting you down on the couch. He picked the movie- one recommended by Yuji. It was a bit longer than you usually watch, but you don't have anything planned tomorrow, so you don't mind staying up a bit late. Work can wait. You deserve a day off.

As you settle into your nightly routine, he’s by your side, insisting on helping you. His presence is a bit more overbearing than usual, but you don't think much of it. It doesn't take him long to get comfortable, settled between your legs, sitting cross-legged on the floor. Choso’s head leans back against your stomach, hands folded in his lap. He lets out a soft sigh as you comb his hair out of his face with your fingers, tucking it behind his ear. Your nails are getting long, and feel nice against his scalp. His hair is softer than it looks. It's getting long- it's past his shoulders now. Goosebumps raise along his shoulders as your fingers brush across his skin.

You’re the first person to touch him in such a way. You’re the first to hold him like he’s precious. Before you, his only physical contact was from fighting. Affection in such a way was completely foreign to him. He was touch starved, to say the least.

And then you came along and looked at him like he was the world.

He shifts so he’s nearly sitting in your lap, arms looped around your neck. His face buries in yours—his—shirt. Choso has lots of baggy, comfy clothes that you constantly steal. It smells like you, and laundry soap, and a bit of your shampoo. He likes letting you borrow them, you always return them smelling like you. As his head leans against your chest, he can hear your heartbeat. It's steady, but picks up in pace as he stretches to press a kiss to your lips. Blush dusts his cheeks, turning the tips of his ears and nose pink.

Choso runs cold naturally. Most of the time he refuses to cuddle unless you’re wrapped in blankets. You have to reassure him that you’re not as fragile as he seems to think you are. He knows. But that doesn't stop him from worrying.

Painkillers weren't exactly working. The pain is manageable, albeit coming and going in waves. Manageable is about the best things get. Choso seems to know something is up before you do. Call it a sixth sense or whatnot. Though you don't appear to be ill, you're not acting like your usual self. He doesn't remember you getting injured. You're acting like you're injured. That worries him greatly.

"You're hurt?" He asks.

“I’m just a bit tired.” You say. "It's nothing to worry about."

Slowly he untangles himself from your limbs. You try to pull him back into your lap, but let him go when he insists.

“Let me take care of you,” he says, gently pushing your shoulders back.

There’s no use arguing. He’s hellbent in his ways, especially when they come to you.

You wouldn't say you were paying attention to the movie, so much as you were present for it's duration. You flop back on the couch, your attention turned to the tv.

He tries to remember everything you normally do that helps. Heating pads, tea, fluffy blankets and extra pillows. Small creature comforts he’s never really lived with before. He didn't see a need for them until he had them, and then he found himself unable to live without them.

Choso disappears into the kitchen for a moment, returning with a cup of tea, and a heating pad. Heat helps sore muscles. As he settles back onto the couch, he pulls you into his lap, his arms wrapping around your waist, your back against his chest. The warmth helps with your cramps a bit. The heat feels nice against your sore muscles.

His fingers trace across your skin, memorizing every inch of your body like he’s reading a book of braille, soft and loving. Choso isn't shy in how he appreciates your body. He could spend hours running his hands over your body, tracing every dip and curve of your form. He wants to know your body better than he does his own; what you like, how you feel, what you taste like. In public he has to have an arm around you, or his fingers laced with yours. Everyone has to know you’re his.

One of your hands finds his, your fingers lacing together. He holds your hand to his cheek before planting a kiss on your knuckles. Soft locks of his hair pool around his head, tickling your neck.

He’s never been so hopelessly in love.

Though your eyelids begin to feel heavy, you still fight to stay awake. He pulls the blanket from the back of the couch, tucking it around you. The warmth, combined with the feeling of his arms around you, threatens to lull you to sleep.

Choso is there when you fall asleep. And he’ll be there long after you wake up.

#jjk x reader #choso kamo x reader #choso x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen #cw periods #cw blood #choso #choso fluff

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shinidamachu · 4 years ago

Note

I need some Inuyasha as a great father (more like DILF, amirite?) headcanons, can you help me out?

I'm here to serve!

• It isn’t until they’re happily married for at least one or two years that the possibility of children are brought up.

• At first, they took that time to relearn each other, enjoy their company and make the honeymoon phase last a little long. They did spend three years apart, after all. There’s so much time to make up for, so many catching up to do before they’d even think to throw a kid into the mix. Plus, being a modern woman, Kagome would know how to avoid pregnancy the best her new circumstances allowed and how important that time alone is for a newly-married couple.

• They never actually had the child talk because Kagome just assumed that’s where their relationship would naturally lead to, given her motherly tendencies and Inuyasha’s history of ultimately giving her everything she wants. For his part, Inuyasha knew she wanted to be a mother someday and he'd be lying if he said he never indulged the fantasy of fathering her children. However, he has serious trouble wrapping his mind around the idea that, in reality, Kagome would still be up for it if he were to be the father. He could never dare to ask of her more than she has already given him. Be that as it may, it was not a big deal because it was not a dealbreaker. Nothing was.

• But with time, Kagome would have noticed how good Inuyasha is with Hisui and the Mirsan twins. How his relationship with Shippo had developed from a sibling banter to a makeshift paternal relationship. How people like Shiori and Bunza would look up to him like he was some kind of movie hero. How every kid in the village seemed to adore him despite his grumpy demeanor.

• And Inuyasha would have noticed the way Kagome would look at him whenever he so much as interacted with a child, the way her smell would spike significantly.

• She, of course, was the one to make the first move, jumping him one night, after they had spend the whole day stuck with babysitting the Mirsan children and popping the question.

• Inuyasha was relutant. There was a part of him that was adamant on making her happy and even believed having babies would make him happy too. On the other hand, he was terrified. Terrified of how her body would react to childbirth, of if her spiritual powers would accept his demonic energy. But mostly, about what would happen once the baby was born. The last thing he wanted was for Kagome to go through everything his mother had to go through. Or for another kid to face the same prejudice he did. Besides, he grew up with no father figure whose steps he could follow. He didn’t know how to be a father.

• Kagome assures him that they won’t have a baby until they’re both ready and on the same page, that they have time and that Inuyasha will be a great father.

• Inuyasha believes her.

• Then it is him felling some type of way whenever he sees Kagome around kids. And something deep inside desperately wishes to find out what would their children look like, what would it be like to hold and take care of someone born from their love.

• Finally, he caves.

• Inuyasha wants a big family, considering how lonely his childhood was. Kagome finds it pivotal for their first-born to have a sibling, since she had Sota and their relationship was one of the most important things in her life. That’s why they’d have two children minimum, preferably a boy and a girl. However, giving how dangerous and uncomfortable childbirth can be, especially without the perks the modern era provides, I don’t think they’d have more than three.

• Naturally, Inuyasha relies on Miroku for advice and the latter is more helpful than not. Except for the times Inuyasha asks or says something that makes it way too easy for Miroku to mess with him. Like the time he told Inuyasha that if he doesn’t get Kagome whatever food she craves while pregnant, the baby will be born looking exactly like that food. And Inuyasha believed him.

• And if you thought Inuyasha was protective of Kagome before... oh boy! He’d be almost overbearing, but Kagome would see it as endearing. Most of the time. Sometimes, though, a woman has got to have her privacy. He also becomes more attentive, more gentle, sweeter.

• After their first child is born, Inuyasha gets a makeover of sorts. He’s always borrowing the Fire Rat to Kagome and the baby anyway, so he figured it’d be more practical to just pass the clothes on to them already and get something new for himself.

• It’s white.

• Inuyasha becomes taller, stronger. And often lets Kagome experiment with his hair with braids, top nots... and ponytails.

• Old Myoga is the first one to notice the resemblance. And it’s true. He’s the spitting image of Toga. Former enemies and allies often mistaken him for Toga and Kagome thinks the look on their (and Inuyasha’s) face is hilarious.

• Sesshoumaru does not care for it (I stole this one from @heavenin--hell).

• Inuyasha hates his human nights even more because now his vulnerability also means he might not be able to protect his family as he usually would (Together Changed by @goshinote and @lostinfantasyworlds inspired this one). Plus, the black hair and lack of dog ears confuses the baby, who cries and fusses for a good while until realizing it is, in fact, Inuyasha holding them (this one I saw in an adorable fanart I can’t find).

• But since he needs way less sleeping than humans and he spends the New Moons up anyway, Inuyasha gets a lot of quality time with their infant at night, which allows Kagome to actually get a good night sleep unless the baby is hungry.

• The Beads of Subjugation get dooled and chewed on. A lot.

• A little contest takes place between Kagome and Inuyasha about what the first word of their first child would be, with Kagome going for “dada” and Inuyasha going for “mama.”

• Kagome wins.

• Inuyasha’s fighting style changes. He still says some snarky remarks, but now it’s more to push his opponent‘s buttons down so they would get sloppy than anything else. After all, he has a child to think about and provide for now. He doesn’t have the luxury of gambling with his life anymore. He has a home to come back to and therefore won’t be taking any chances (credit to @born-for-eachother for this one).

• And so he becomes more lethal on the battle field. Pragmatic. Objective. Calculating. Decisive. Cold blooded. Much like... Sesshomaru.

• He had never been more offended on his life than the day Sango pointed this out to him.

• When the kids grow up a bit, Inuyasha and Kagome start to tell them bedtime stories, with the PG version of the story about how the met and defeated Naraku being their favorite.

• Kagome tries to be a reliable and calm narrator while Inuyasha exaggerates the events and the voices, almost always breaking objects of their house in the process.

• After hearing one too many times about the Beads of Subjugation, their child tries to “sit” Inuyasha. Of course it doesn’t work, but he still makes a big deal out of throwing himself on the ground every time they say the word just to hear them laugh.

• The first actual toy Inuyasha buys them is a ball, just like the one he had as a kid, at the same time accomplishing a childhood wish through them and ensuring that they would always have someone to play with.

• Kagome is more protective of their physical state while Inuyasha is more protective of their emotional one (see Fist Fight by @omgitscharlie)

• Inuyasha goes to Totosai and asks him to make a weapon out of one of his fangs to each of their children once they get old enough for it. Not necessarily a sword, just something of their choice and that better fits their personality.

• He would be a just father, doing his best to show no favoritism, treat his children equally and make sure no one felt overlooked or unloved.

• But truth be told, if one of their babies turn out to be a daughter, he would definitelly let her get away with almost anything, no matter how much of a gremlin she is. Daddy’s little girl would have him wrapped around her tiny fingers.

• Life never treated Inuyasha kindly. From a very young age, it was kill or be killed. It wouldn't be too far off for him to think the exact same thing could happen with his kids, therefore he tries to prepare them, to tough them up so they can take it.

• And I believe this sentiment would be significantly amplified with a son, because it would involve the whole “suck it up”, “men don’t cry” and “man of the house” aspect of it. The “it is your duty to protect your mother and sister when I’m gone” too, especially because he couldn’t protect Izayoi himself.

• It’s “tough love”, but it’s love nonetheless. And in the right dose, which I believe Inuyasha manages to nail, it can be very important for one’s development and growth.

• But it’s hard to imagine him being as tough with a daughter. Probably because he sees so much of Kagome on her that the mere idea of seeing her cry simply breaks him.

• Kagome would actually have to step in when it comes to disciplining and saying “no”, because he simply wouldn’t have it in him to do so.

There’s actually a really nice post by @keichanz I reblogged a while ago discussing precisely that, but I can’t find it to save my life (should I start to properly tag my reblogs? No, it’s a lot of work and I’m right not to).

Anyway, that’s all I got for now.

Peace out.

#This ask was actually sitting on my inbox for...#Woof #A while now #And I wish I could say it was a big move on my part to wait and reply exactly on Father's Day #Because I'm just so cool methodic and strategic #But it was sheer dumb luck #LMAO #This was fun by the way #Send me YOURS daddyasha headcanons #Thank you for the patience and for the great ask anon #Inuyasha

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snow--blanket · 3 years ago

Text

third time’s the charm

fandom: bustafellows

characters: teuta bridges, shu lyn o’keefe

words: 2356

a birthday present for my dearest scrunkly wunkly beloved bestie @muwi-translates!!! happy bday bowbi, mwah mwah mwah

***

“Wanna bet?”

Shu took the cigarette out of his mouth and sighed a thin trail of smoke, not to her face this time. “On what?”

“Which restaurant Carmen will get from this time.”

He shot Teuta a disgruntled look. “What's the point of betting on something that meaningless?”

“You're the one that said not to gamble on things that matter on coin tosses!” She huffed, and the way she got all worked up and red reminded him of a bull charging at a Muleta. Well, not that he was a Matador of any kind. Red wasn't a nice color.

“I'm saying, no risk, no return. How are you gonna bait anyone into betting when you don't even have a reward to lure people in?”

Teuta flashed him a five dollar bill, as if to answer his doubts. “This.”

“Make it a blank check and I'll consider it.”

“Th-that's too huge of a leap…”

“Guess you'll just have to take this as a loss, then.”

“I'm a reporter, not a businesswoman! I work with words, not money!”

“All words are money if you know how to talk.” He jerked his head to Limbo's direction, who was too drunk to prove his point. “He makes a living out of it.”

“Ugh, I can't disagree.” She sighed and deflated like a balloon onto the table. He wasn't a neat freak by psychological-diagnosis standards, but he just knew that the table was probably slick with grease and stains, and quietly kept his disgust. “Oh!”

“Did you just experience the second coming of Christ? The hell's with that 'oh!'?”

“Nononono, hold on!” She broke into an excited smile, and then slammed a ten dollar bill onto the table. He was definitely not touching that. “New bet: whoever can come up with the longest insults for Crow wins, and the loser has to pay their fine!”

“Keeping the art of literature alive, aren't you? Poetic. I’ll take it, Shakespeare.”

She said she wasn't a businesswoman, but the way her eyes lit up and her confidence made him think otherwise. Because then, what else spurred him on to say yes?

It was a close tie between wardrobe borrowed from a clown's retirement phase and shut-in rooster—in reference to his hair—that barely integrated into human society, but ultimately the winner was Limbo, drunk and happy, saying:

“Boss of the underworld… means the underworld is the world down under… means he's Australia's prime minister's secret brother!”

Then, he fell face first into the grease-slicked table, where Shu was confident that he wouldn’t be able to lift his face off without something sticking onto it.

(Luckily, he wasn't sober enough to realize he'd unintentionally partaken in their bet, but both of them agreed that it was a pretty good way to lose.)

And so, the cigarette he'd left on the ashtray was left alone to burn—not from his own haste, but simply following time and fire.

***

“Shu, wanna bet?”

Shu took the lollipop out of his mouth. “What is it this time?”

“This will taste amazing!” Teuta exclaimed with such false confidence he had to wonder which part of her short stature had the capacity to store her lies. No, that was wrong. She wasn't the type to lie, so the fact that she truly believed in her words with all her heart made him sweat.

He glanced at the stovetop. A good dish is made from harmonization of the ingredients and the utensils, but he was sure her… dish, that was becoming one in color with the black steel, was not such a case of great mastery. “Hard pass.”

“Oh, come on! I tried really hard!”

Trying hard and succeeding aren't the same thing. “It doesn't look like it'll fill me up.”

“I saw you eat mixed nuts for lunch yesterday!”

Shu sighed, and then relented his gaze to her. “I'm a passive eater.”

“What's that? That's a thing?” She blinked multiple times incredulously, and he wanted to kiss her and wipe that cute look off her face.

“Ah, well, you know. You're a writer, right? You know how subject and predicate works. Rather than eating food, the food was eaten by me. Get it?”

A lapse of silence for her to think, and then: “...I totally don't.”

“I don't enjoy eating as an activity. It's just something I gotta do to get on.”

The lines of her shoulder slacked, like whatever hope she was clinging onto was cut clean by his words. He disliked these situations the most—he didn't want to lie to her, but he wasn't exactly a crooked lawyer himself, to know what truths to say and how to say it best. He dealt with facts as they are, and emotionally charged problems were far from his ideal battlefield.

Sigh. He walked over, and took a spoonful of her burning pile of cr—inedible food. It scorched the roof of his mouth, and there was no telling if his tongue was still attached.

Apparently, Teuta thought the same. “When you're eating something really yummy, you gotta say it right that second that it's yummy. I wanted to make you feel that, too...”

He didn't trust his tongue to betray him, so he just lowered his head and looped his arms around her body, making his home on the slope of her neck.

Teuta let a small sound of surprise slip out, and then he felt her hands looping around his waist. “What kind of dance is this?”

“Dunno. Doesn't this setup remind you of that one snake that eats itself? What's the name. Ouroboros, or something?”

“I don't know enough about stuff like that,” she sighed, and resigned herself to his arms. “Shu?”

“Hm?”

“Helvetica said that there's also a nonverbal way to express that the food was yummy. Is that what you're doing?”

“...Something like that.”

He felt more than heard her laugh, thrumming from his abdomen all the way to his chest, like she was knocking on his heart and demanding to be let in. It was meaningless, since she already had the key.

“Shu?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you, too.”

Right answer. He lifted his face and pressed a kiss behind her ear, where she was ticklish and red.

And so, the lollipop was left at the saucer on the tabletop in place of an ashtray, and they held each other until he could feel his tongue again, and the kitchen's fire alarm blared like Crow yelling.

***

It’s not often, but sometimes Teuta was hard to read. Although he’s never seen the light in her eyes flush, she looked like….

“What are you thinking so hard about? It doesn’t suit you.”

She blinked, as if she had to take a moment to register his voice. “Oh, Shu. Sorry, what did you say? I was spacing out.”

“I was just saying that you might want to pay the fine. Crow finished your ice cream.”

She made a show of pouting exaggeratedly, and he wondered if he could kiss that look off her face, too. “That inconsiderate idiot!”

He scooted closer to her on the sofa, and wrung their hands together. “You can do better than that. What's up?”

He'd seen her try to fake a smile before, with Adam and Luka, or when she felt awkward about opening up. With him… With him, she dropped it easily, and he could not help thinking that she was so unbearably lovable.

“I was just thinking about my brother,” she started, “I can't stop thinking about… What you told me. What I'd think or do if I ever found out who killed him, and if I even could. What if… they were justified? My brother changed. I don't know if I could say that I would still accept him even if he was alive, even though that's why I wanted to become a reporter, but like you said, there's things that can't be settled with lip service, so—”

“Woah, hold your horses. That's too many questions at once.” He raised their intertwined hands. “Follow this. When our hands go up, we breathe in. When it goes down, we breathe out. Can you do that?”

She managed a small nod, and he smiled at her. He slowly raised their hands into the air and back down, hearing the stutter in her breath slowly leveling into a predictable rhythm. When they'd finished three cycles of it, she sighed in relief.

“Thanks, Shu.”

“Yeah.” He freed his hand from hers, reaching over to wrap it around her shoulders. “You remember Sunny Island, right?”

“Mhmm.”

“You remember what I taught you at the shooting range?”

A lapse of silence to signal her guilt, and then: “...Ahuh.”

He flicked her forehead with his other hand, and then leaned over to kiss the spot. “Don't just forget my fundamentals like that.”

He felt her laugh more than heard it, and no matter how many times he committed her to memory, each time she laughed, he felt love for her all over again.

“Remember what I said about not holding your breath?”

“Yeah. You said that I should just focus on hitting the target.”

“Right. Holding your breath is for professionals. But Teach taught me something else, too. That before I hold my breath, I should breathe in and out as much as I can.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. That I should breathe in and out, as deeply as I can, and ground myself in the reality that I was about to steal a life.”

He felt her breathing pause, but he soldiered on, still. He wasn't Limbo with his silver tongue, not Mozu with his calmness, but he was a hitman. He was Shu Lyn O'Keefe, and this was something he knew he was able to help her out on, more than anyone else.

“Do you think killing is a sin?”

She stretched her head to look up at him, confusion in her eyes. “Wait, aren't you an atheist?”

“Just answer the question.”

“Hmm… Yeah, I think it's a sin. Or like, it's a bad thing. Even though I like you, it's still something difficult for me.”

“How much?”

She blinked, and he wanted to kiss her. “What?”

“How much do you like me?”

“Just a little, I guess?”

“Just a little, huh?”

“Just a little,” she repeated, and her smile made up for her words.

He held her closer to his chest, and she hesitated before bringing her arms around his body. They sat there quietly, and he let the sound of her heartbeat and the movement of her breathing ease him before he spoke. “I don't believe in God, but I do think killing is bad. No matter how terrible or heartless the person I'm killing, it's true that I'm stealing a life. I'm permanently ending their chance to make decisions for themselves.”

“The right to make decisions…”

“Yeah. Everyone has a right to make their own decisions. Even if they choose to regret it later, or they don't. But there's things only people like me can do to stop them. That's what I was taught.”

To kill what lacks both love and hatred. To look apathy with a full chest of air and to pull the trigger. The Yellow Rose of Texas. He would never allow himself to forget.

When her silence was too much for him to treat as being an active listener, he pinched her nose.

“Ow! What's that for?”

“Have more of a reaction, will you?”

“I was just thinking about what you said!”

So she was being an active listener. Lucky guess. “Did you find any answers to your questions?”

“Not really…”

“Good.”

“Why good?”

“Because these aren't questions with one right answers. Even when you think you've found the one that's clicks, your feelings can change, and it won't be satisfying later on.”

Although he doesn't doubt Tyra's words, the act of killing latches onto him and doesn't let go. Some days, it was like walking through mud. Another, it was like remembering his mother's lifeless body in his arms.

“So what should I do?” Her words came out quiet and hesitant, slipping past her mouth like a secret.

“I dunno.”

“What?!” She jerked from his hold, and there was a heavy, painful sound of a thud when the top of her head hit his chin. She looked at him, her green eyes alight and angry. “Then why'd you tell me all that?”

He rubbed his chin and cringed—good news was that Teuta was right. She knew how to run, should the time come again. “It's not my expertise. Weren't you the one that said that you like what you like, and hate what you hate?”

“I did say that, but…”

“What's wrong with that? You're sad that your brother was killed. You're angry that whoever did it got away. The rest can be dealt with when it actually happens, there's no point to overthinking things right now. All you're doing is forcing yourself to feel bad about what you don't know.”

She rammed her head into his chest, which elicited an ow from him. “You're right, but that still doesn't make me feel better...”

“Then what about this?” He reached for his pocket and flashed her a silver coin. “Wanna make a bet? I'll do anything you ask if you win.”

“You're on!”

He laughed at that. She had the enthusiasm of someone who had never lost a bet before.

He rubbed the outer rim of the coin, and then—clink!—tossed it into the air, catching it with one hand. “Your guess?”

“Heads!”

He opened his palm and smiled at her. “It's heads. What do you want to ask for this time?”

“I want you to kiss me,” she whispered, and her expectant stare was too much.

“You're terrible at picking prizes as always.” What was the difference if he won all the same?

And so, he leaned in to kiss her, as there was no cigarette or lollipop to occupy his lonely mouth, and he committed her breathing to memory as she stayed in his arms. That is, until Helvetica came home and told them off so as to not blind Crow’s virgin eyes.

#bustafellows #bustafellows shu #bustafe #shu lyn o'keefe #bustafellows teuta #teuta bridges #shuteu #heheheheheehehehehehehehehehe

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kyouxa · 4 years ago

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Diabolik lovers Chaos Lineage: Subaru Sakamaki (Story 11)

In terms of the gameplay: The black choices lead up to a bad ending, the white choices lead up to a good ending. Please no reposting onto other sites, ask me before translating this into another language too! If you enjoy these translations, please consider supporting me on ko-fi.

Monologue

While being held by Subaru-kun, we escaped from the Scarlet mansion together.

I entangled my fingers strongly with his, this way, I’d never be able to let go of his hand.

And while I did so, Subaru-kun strongly clasped my hand as a response to my action.

Both of us couldn’t do anything else but run for our lives.

We tried finding a place to hide in, even though there wasn’t any place for us to go.

Place: Outside — Abandoned house

Subaru: What’s this?

Yui: Seems as if there’s an abandoned house even in a place like this.

Subaru: I wish we came here earlier. I’ll let you down.

Yui: Yes, thank you.

*Subaru lets Yui down*

Subaru: ...There seems to be no sign of any familiars around here either. But we can’t let our guard down.

Yui: That’s a relief for now. Would you like to go inside and take a rest then? I’m still worried about your injury.

Subaru: ...It might be best not to enter the house instantly.

Yui: Why is that?

Subaru: We couldn’t escape in case of emergency. Plus, we don’t mean to stay here forever anyway.

Not only Scarlet and Orange are after us, Violet is also still aiming for us.

We should try to find a safer place instead of getting ourselves into this run-down shabby house...

Yui: …..

Subaru: Heh, how funny. I really can’t trust anyone anymore here. It doesn’t even matter if it’s any of my brothers or not.

Everyone is looking for me because they want to snatch Eve away from me.

But they can bring it on if they dare. I don’t need to borrow anyone’s strength to protect my precious girlfriend.

Yui: I hope this never happens though! It’s not a bad thing to rely on other people after all. But during times like those I understand how hard it is to trust others...

Subaru: ...Guess so.

Yui: (Neither of us can trust anyone besides ourselves… but it’s only natural that he’s frustrated after Reiji-san betrayed us like he did, right?)

What should we do about your injury, Subaru-kun? The wound opened itself again a while ago, right?

Subaru: Don’t worry about it, I’m fine.

Yui: Please, Subaru-kun. Don’t try to act tough in front of me.

I’m afraid it will get even more messed up because you’re holding the pain in just to have me not worry about you.

Subaru: You…

Choices

1) I can’t see the future (black)

2) It’s because I like Subaru-kun (white) ♡ ♡ ♡

— I can’t see the future

Yui: We’re forced to get chased by everyone without even knowing why this is happening to the both of us...

I’m just worried because I can’t look into the future. I can’t help but wonder how long we’ll have to continue living like this...

Subaru: I didn’t mean to worry you, sorry.

Yui: No! You’re wrong! I’m not saying this is your fault or anything, Subaru-kun… !

I’m sorry, Subaru-kun. While I’m whining about all the things I just said, you’re relying on me more than ever.

It’s just hard for me to see you get even more hurt than you already are...

— It’s because I like Subaru-kun ♡

Subaru: I told you already, I’m fine. I’m a vampire, so this won’t be a big bother to me.

Yui: You might act as if it’s not bothering you, but it does bother me...

I really like you a lot, Subaru-kun. Therefore, I hate it when people I like are going through hard times by themselves.

I know I don’t have the same approximate strength as you do, but as much as you want to protect me...

I want to protect you as well.

Subaru: Does it really bother you that much?

end Choices

Yui: Hey, Subaru-kun. Be honest with me, would you be happier if I wasn’t here with you and the injury never happened?

Subaru: Hah? What are you talking about so suddenly?

*Yui starts crying*

Yui: You’re still injured because of me, and you have to force yourself to run away from everyone and everything due to me being with you.

...Maybe without me you could’ve stayed at Carla or even Reiji-san’s mansion.

Speaking of that, if I ended up cooperating as Eve, maybe someone would end up helping—

Subaru: Don’t say stupid shit!

Yui: Subaru-kun…

Subaru: You can’t decide these things on your own like that! Do you really think you’ll rescue everyone if you selfishly give yourself to them!? Hah!?

You’re still seen as a saint woman here, you know. So don’t play around with that!

Yui: I didn’t mean it like that...

Subaru: I said it so many times already though! No matter what you are in this world, I need you to be safe and sound!

*grabs Yui*

Subaru: Fuck, why won’t you get it!? I’ve already prepared myself to be with you from the start, okay!?

Yui: ….. !?

Subaru: It doesn’t matter to me what might happen to my body. I don’t want to give you to anyone else, even if things will go wrong…

*Subaru gets closer*

Yui: Subaru-kun…

Subaru: I don’t ever want to lose the feeling of holding you in my arms like I do right now… !

That’s why… ouch...

Yui: ...Ah, your injury… are you okay? Don’t overwork yourself.

(After all, his face does look as if he's in pain. You’re acting strong, but the wound actually does hurt you a lot, doesn’t it?)

(And despite that, he’s trying his hardest not to make me worry about him…)

Subaru: Shit, I just hugged you but it already started hurting so much… Ngh

I can’t do anything with this injury. I doubt I could even fight any of them in my current conditions… !

Yui: (I’m so sorry, Subaru-kun… after all, without me—)

Subaru: What do I do!?

*lightning strikes*

Subaru: What was that light just now!?

What’s going on?

???: …..

Yui: A glowing… ball?

Subaru: What’s with this ball? Looks like the odd things strike yet again...

Socrates: My name is Socrates—

Subaru: Damn! That thing talked! Yui, stay behind me!

Socrates: What heroic actions indeed. So you really are protecting Eve despite your whole body continuously suffering from your injury.

It appears as if we have hit an interesting phase in our experiment. I could not possibly miss this opportunity.

Subaru: Experiment… ?

Yui: What do you mean by that exactly? And who even are you?

Socrates: You do not need to know me. But let’s say that I am the specific reason why you are participants of this world.

Yui: (So this thing knows about this world…)

Um, why are both of us expected to be here to begin with? And where are we right now!?

Socrates: This place is a closed world created with magical power. You can imagine it like a miniature garden.

And as long as you are staying in this garden, neither of your memories were supposed to ever come back.

Subaru: As long as we’re in this garden? Does that mean...

Socrates: Exactly. If you can find a way to get out of this garden, everything will return back to its normality. The changed memory will return to their usual state as well.

However, I did indeed notice both of you had their memory returned without my interfering.

It seemed as this took place due to a sudden shock situation the both of you found yourselves in.

It could have also happened because of my extreme inadequacy. Let’s try to use this as a reference to what happened in the future.

Subaru: In the future… stop bullshitting me.

Spit it out, bastard! If you know this much, then it was you who trapped us here, right!?

What the fuck is the purpose of this entire shit anyway!?

Socrates: …..

Subaru: Tch… don’t shut up now!

*Subaru tries hitting Socrates*

Subaru: ...Nn, what… ?

Yui: Subaru-kun’s fist didn’t hit it...

Socrates: Such attacks are utterly useless. You cannot even touch me, I hope you realized that.

If you truly wish to go fight against something, go against this world itself, not me.

Subaru: Hah?

Socrates: This miniature garden is designed to break easily if it’s confronted with certain conditions.

Yui: (I’m glad to hear that. So there is a way to escape from here!)

Can you tell us about those certain conditions?

Socrates: The condition for this outcome is that one person in this garden has to sacrifice themselves for the other players.

Yui: Sacrifice… ?

Socrates: Any method for this matter will do. They merely have to end their own life.

Yui: Ending their life, you say...

Subaru: ...Don’t spread bullshit around! Are you telling us to kill ourselves here or what!?

Socrates: Not everyone has to die. In the end, only one has to sacrifice its life.

If there will be a player killing themselves instead of being killed by somebody, the experiment can no longer continue and the garden will be destroyed.

Subaru: Even so, we can’t do that!

Socrates: Well then, you should simply continue being trapped in this garden where time has stopped.

Nevertheless, it does not matter. I will now continue to watch attentively over the fate both of you will choose in the future.

*Socrates disappears*

Yui: Ah, it disappeared.

Subaru: Hey! Shit, come back!! We weren’t done talking yet!

Yui: Socrates-san! Why would you think and carry out such a cruel plan!?

Why do these brothers have to fight each other and even try to kill one another for this… ?

(We finally understand how this world works, but we can’t possibly do something as horrible as that… !)

(If nobody in this world will commit suicide, nobody will end up being saved)

(It might be ridiculous to accept what that glowing ball said without being able to question it…)

(But if there’s really no other way out here, should we really try this method… ?)

Subaru: Kch…

Yui: (Subaru-kun seems really worried about this too)

(No wonder. You can’t force someone to kill or even commit suicide to escape so suddenly like that…)

(I wonder, is there any other way we could try? There has to be a way to break free from this garden and for everyone to return there safely…)

#Diabolik Lovers #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers subaru #sakamaki subaru #Subaru Sakamaki #chaos lineage translation #chaos lineage #diabolik lovers chaos lineage #diabolik lovers chaos lineage translation #subaru sakamaki chaos lineage #subaru sakamaki chaos lineage translation #translation #Diabolik Lovers game

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emwritesstuff · 4 years ago

Text

as the world caves in | ch. 5 | bucky barnes x reader

synopsis: You are a ghost story. A former Air Force pilot who had her plane shot down by Germany in 1945, but here you were in 2023, alive and frozen in your 25-year-old body.

You haven’t seen Bucky since the 1940’s, before his fall, before you went on a suicide mission only to come back alive. You aren’t sure reliving those memories – and being a living memory of everything the man has lost – is the best for him.

But you and Bucky won’t be apart for long.

This will loosely follow the plot of TFATWS - so spoilers ahead, specially regarding episode four. Thread carefully!

masterlist | AO3

notes: I was going to make it only one chapter with the plot of episode four but it ended up HUGE, so I'm splitting this one in two. I’m posting the next one very very soon (probably tomorrow), just need to finish reviewing it sksksk

(warnings: mentions of death, gunshots, blood) (word count: 4K)

five: funeral

Ayo considered you for a moment, then turned to Bucky. “Eight hours. Do not forget.”

You exhaled slowly after she was gone, allowing yourself to return to a more relaxed state.

“You know Ayo?” Bucky said, after he made sure the door was well closed.

Sam mused from behind you.

“And you speak Xhosa!”

“When King T’Challa opened Wakanda to the world, I ended up leading the relations between our countries from our side. Learning the language was the least I could do.” You shrugged, smiling fondly when you remember the awkward phase where you still mispronounced everything, and how astoundingly lenient the King had been during it.

“Accomplished. It was sweet of you to defend me, at least.”

You raised an eyebrow at the glass of water you’re drinking, grateful that Zemo didn’t speak the language. If only he knew.

Well, you had a feeling he would. Eight hours. T-minus-fifteen.

“Hey, you shut it. No one is defending you. You killed Nagel.” Sam bit at Zemo, and you put down your water and took your phone.

It had been blowing up since the signal returned after your flight to Latvia, every single person who ever had your contact was looking for you. Understandably. It was your first “vacation” in a long time.

You swiped the notifications away, and your eyes met Bucky’s while Sam and Zemo squabbled.

“You shouldn’t be good at that. It’s not fair.”

“It’s just a phone, Buck.” You smirk up at him, and a corner of his lip tugs upwards in response. “And I’ve been around long enough to know how to deal with the ever-changing technology.”

“Does that mean you’re the older one now? I’ve been frozen.”

“Do I get older privilege?” You asked, not looking up from the screen. The news feed caught your attention, and you were quick to scroll past the one talking about The Winter Soldier’s appearance in Madripoor.

“…No.” Bucky pushed his bottom lip forward, shaking his head. You bit your lip to refrain yourself from telling him just how much of a child he was, but couldn’t hide your grin.

The next headline made the grin fall out of your mouth, it being replaced by a frown. You slid the phone to Bucky, you two sharing a concerned look as soon as he read it too.

“Sam. Karli bombed a GRC supply depot.”

You rubbed your temples and started pacing as Bucky explained to the other two men the situation. Three dead. Eleven wounded. Your heart wrenched, and you pressed a fist to your chest when you imagine how dire the things have to be for that to had become the latest desperate measure.

Wars have civilian casualties. People are bound to be caught in the crossfire. You knew this. You’d seen it. This was a deliberate attack, and it was a different time and conjecture, but you felt almost the same as you did when you walked through the rubble made of Europe, 80 years ago.

Seeds for a new war. You’d hoped you wouldn’t get to see it sprout again.

You finally looked up as Zemo questioned the three of you about having the will to complete the mission.

“She’s just a kid.”

You moved to rest a hand on Sam’s shoulder, but in the end, you might have been more looking to ground yourself than anything. He nodded at you either way, and you could see Bucky’s eyes on you from your peripheral.

“You’re seeing something in her that isn’t there. You’re clouded by it. She’s a supremacist. The very concept of Super Soldier will always trouble people.” Zemo spoke with certainty, as if he was a professor and the three of you his pupils.

“I doubt she sees things that way.” You raised your finger as soon as he opened his mouth to retort. “Not everyone has the chance to be studying politics and understand how revolutionary movements can become extremism. Most people are just fighting to get to see another day.”

You wondered if Baron Helmut Zemo would ever understand that, the struggle. The uncertainty that wakes up with you and goes to sleep when you do, only to pose itself the next morning.

“It’s that warped aspiration that led to Nazis, to Ultron, to the Avengers.” His next line seemed to be enough of an answer. You let your hand slide off Sam’s shoulder, realizing you had it in a tight grip the whole time, and resumed your pacing.

You doubted Karli Morgenthau had much chance to reflect on the long-term consequences of her mobilization. She was helping people, people who needed things right away; she was providing immediate relief. The world only had given violence in return.

“She will not stop. She will escalate until you kill her. Or she kills you.”

“Maybe you’re wrong, Zemo. The Serum never corrupted Steve.” Bucky retorted, but that obviously wasn’t enough to shake Zemo’s convictions.

The ache in our chest grew just a tad stronger, and you sank on the large sectional couch; Bucky seemed to have sensed your wariness, because soon enough he was bumping knees with you on the empty seat to your left. He radiated irritation, squared shoulders and head thrown back.

You laced your arm with his, nodding along with Sam as he talked about his aunt, understanding his plan when he reasoned that they might be doing a funeral ceremony for Donya. Bucky seemed to have loosened it up a little, and you agreed with him. It was worth a shot.

“You doin’ okay?” Bucky whispered, adjusting his arm so yours could have more room.

You raised your eyes at Zemo, stopping for a few seconds to observe the golden embroidery of the couch behind Bucky’s head before looking at him.

You squeezed his bicep. You mustered a small, strained smile.

Bucky’s eyes did not leave yours the entire time, two pools of blue and warmth and comfort that made you ache with how much you’d missed them all of these years.

“Jus’ fine.”

Bucky nodded.

“Liar.”

You flicked his ear with your free hand, which made him grunt. You giggled as Bucky shook his head and muttered something about you being such a child, and you could feel your nervousness easing up.

“Don’t be so grumpy, old man.”

---

You parted ways as Sam, Bucky and Zemo went to the displacement camp, and you went to the GRC office in Riga in search of information. You hadn’t been seen with them yet, so you took the chance of still being considered just a diplomat on a trip, seeking to maybe be of assistance in trying times.

It hadn’t been the most productive of mornings. The people at the office knew as little as you did of Donya Madani, or any of the other displaced people, which was appalling at the least. All they had was some half-assed records of when the camp had been formed, and that was months ago. Who knew how many people had joined by then. No wonder the Flag Smashers were at large, with more people joining and supporting the cause every day.

John Walker and Lemar Hoskins walked through the building’s doors, just as you were ready to leave. Hoskins recognized you immediately, whispering something to the new Captain America before both men approached you.

You shook their hands graciously, but your eyes remained on the door, you not wanting to waste precious time with the two. Especially Walker, who seemed to wear the shield on his back like it was a badge of honor, or even a safe-conduct to back up his moves.

It didn’t sit right with you, and not just because the man who wielded the shield before him was unreplaceable to you, and the man who stood before you seemed to have been handpicked to step inside Steve’s shoes, same size and all. His height, his built, his set jaw, the blue eyes, the blonde hair; as far as looks went, the perfect impersonator. It was the way he carried himself that set you off though, proud of himself and his own privilege. And you had barely any interaction with him aside from watching him perform in front of cameras, and, well, now.

“I’m very sorry gentlemen – but I should get going. This detour of my vacation is already on borrowed time.”

Hoskins nodded solemnly, but Walker took another step towards you. “I know about your previous work with Steve, it would be nice to have you on your side too.”

“Like I said, I’m off duty. Try not to make a mess out of it.” The lie slips off your lips easily, and you offer them an apologetic smile before turning to leave.

“There’s some Avengers on the hunt for the Flag Smashers too.”

Hoskins’ voice stopped you in your tracks, and you studied the two, wondering just how much they actually knew.

“Just think about it, okay? If you’re gonna help someone, make sure you’re helping the right people.”

That’s exactly what you were doing, but you weren’t about to tell him that.

“Hoskins. Cap. Have a nice day.” You nodded at them, not looking behind you as you take off to the cobblestone streets.

---

Sam and Bucky turned to watch you when arrived back at Zemo’s condo, closing the door gently behind you.

“Nothing.” You answered before they could ask, shaking your head slightly. From the defeated way they were sank on that couch, you assumed they were met with dead ends as well. “And Walker’s here, so expect things to get complicated.”

“You met with Walker?” Bucky asked, his jaw tensing up as he looked up at you.

“More like he met me. Offered me a job.” You chuckled humorlessly at the irony of it. Apparently you were now known for getting Steve out of trouble, and not for getting into it with him. How the tables turn. “He’s lacking intel as much as we are though.”

You threw your coat on the coffee table, and watched it slip down to the floor unimpressed. Bucky dipped to pick it up, draping it over the back of the couch while shaking his head and grumbling under his breath. Sam giggled, earning himself a glare.

Zemo approached your group with a tray of steaming tea. Bucky focused his glare on him.

“That little girl. What’d she tell you?” Bucky narrowed his eyes, a taunting tone to his voice.

Zemo paused, and his eyes jumped from Bucky, to Sam, to you, and the ground. The mood is restless, charged with tension, ready to spark like an open wire at the edge of water.

The Sokovian visibly relaxes his posture when he bends down to serve himself tea. “The funeral is this afternoon.”

It wasn’t not surprising to you that he was withholding information, though it was bold. His confidence was baffling, if anything.

“You’re on thin ice, Zemo.” You narrow your eyes at him, and he offers you a small, lofty smile.

Bucky looked at you and nodded before reminding Zemo of the Dora Milaje and demanding he kept talking.

“Leaving you to turn on me once we get to Karli.” He retorts to Bucky and hums, shaking his head. “There’s still much I want to know, including why an American diplomat is tagging along for an altercation against a group of Super Soldiers.”

Zemo looked at you, inspecting your form as you leaned over a tiled column. He lingers on, but you know you have the higher ground. You don’t look the part of super soldier, in the way like the Flag Smashers don’t also. It’s advantageous, it gets you to blend in with the rest of world. You were aware that Zemo has been suspicious ever since you walked through the heavy wooden doors the first time, though, and he was trying to carve information out of you through veiled threats.

“I prefer to keep my leverage.”

This seemed to spur Bucky on. He got up from the couch, stalking towards Zemo in a casual gait, only to grab the teacup from the other man’s grasp and throw it violently at another column.

Your breath hitched.

“You wanna see what someone can do with leverage?”

It sounded almost alien to you, the venom that dripped from Bucky’s words. You definitely hadn’t kept that in your memories of him, and you remind yourself that Bucky was no longer just that gallant boy from Brooklyn, he had more wars and baggage than anyone should carry.

So did you.

Sam got to Bucky before you could get your legs to move. “Take it easy. Don’t engage him. He’s just gonna extort you and do that stupid head tilt thing.”

As if on cue, Zemo tilted his head upright.

Sam retreats to make a call, whacking Bucky on the shoulder as he left the room. The sound makes you shift, and you walked forward to put yourself between him and Zemo.

“Thin fuckin’ ice.” You snarl. Bucky disengaged by leaning on his heels.

“Want some cherry blossom tea?”

You huffed and nudged Bucky’s waist to prompt him to follow you, wanting nothing more to get him – and yourself – away from Zemo before disaster ensued. He still held the information you needed, though his bargaining chips were running out.

You had the distinct feeling that he knew that too.

“No, you go ahead.”

The room you found yourselves next is small, but just as luxurious as the rest of the apartment, with thick embroidered cushions littering a daybed and stained glass on the windows, casting colorful rays of light over the floor.

“You won’t go home if I ask you to, will you?” Bucky asked, and you chuckled.

“Absolutely not.”

A pained little sound left Bucky’s throat, and you sat down on the daybed to face him. He was leaning against the wall, eyebrows knitted.

“It’s like you don’t know me at all, Buck.”

“I do. That’s why I’m worried.” You rolled your eyes at him, making him look away from you, jaw clenched.

You sighed. “Bucky. I’m a highly trained super soldier.” Retired, too, and probably rusty, but you decided to not put that thought on his head. “I have more field experience than you, I bet. Don’t trouble yourself too much.”

His shoulders sagged, and you raised your hand to smooth the collar of his jacket, like you’ve done a million times before, back when you were still only a girl, and he was only a boy. The familiarity in those acts of intimacy covered you like a warm blanket, and you caught yourself wondering if Bucky felt the same.

“I worry about you too, you know. Why I’m here.”

Bucky turned his head to look at you, eyes roaming over your face. “How much did Sam tell you about Madripoor?”

“All of it, I think.”

There was torment in his eyes, that he tried concealing by looking at the floor. He nodded curtly, and the gesture propels you to leap forward and hold his face in your hands.

“Not worried like that.” You knit your eyebrows together, speaking firmly at him. “Worried about you throwing yourself into another fight. And losing you to it, again. So here I am, James, and stop trying to get rid of me.”

He either crashed into you or you into him, you’re not sure, but it barely mattered. Bucky had his arms firmly around you, his forehead resting on your shoulder. A hug that came eight decades too late, making you have to blink tears away.

“Don’t wanna lose you again too.” Bucky mumbled into your hair, and you squeezed him just a little bit tighter.

“You won’t. M’ here.”

I’m here. I’m here. You believed it, because you knew yourself. Keeping away this long, because you knew that once you were with him, you wouldn’t be leaving.

You hoped Bucky believed it, too. You’d tell him over and over, just in case.

The moment was short lived, though, coming to an end the when Sam knocks on the door. You pry yourself apart from him like a band-aid, and the door opens, leaving you and Bucky to compartmentalize and get ready for the next steps in your mission with your backs turned to each other.

“You guys good?” Sam asked, looking from you to Bucky, and you groaned internally at the sight of the slight curl at the corner of his mouth.

It’s not like that, Sam.

“Yeah. Are you?”

He quirks his brow. You quirk yours. His smirk is more out in the open, now.

“C’mon, old guard, we have a funeral to attend.”

You and Bucky shoot him a double glare and follow him back to the living room, then out to the cobblestone streets. Sam specifically said no weapons, no doubt intending to keep things civil, but you strapped a knife to your boot anyway.

Bucky smirked at you when he caught you red handed and showed you the handle of his own knife secured at his hip. It’s funny, how among so many things that haven’t changed at all, remaining intact as if eternized in marble, so many other things did.

It’s the caution. Having a plan B, C, D, up to plan Z. It’s knowing every possible exit points when you enter a room, and it’s strapping a knife to your body even if you’re going on a mission of peace.

You wanted to think that the years made to fade most of your scars, but the smallest things reminded you that faded didn’t mean gone. The weight of the blade on your left foot was doing that, as you walked through the streets of Riga beside Bucky, Sam and Zemo.

“Karli Morgenthau is too dangerous for you guys to be pulling this shit.”

John Walker and Lemar Hoskins jogged down the steps in your direction. Bucky opened his arms in irritation.

“Ah! How’d you find us now?”

It wasn’t really a question.

“Come on. You think two Avengers can walk around Latvia without drawing attention?” Hoskins questioned rhetorically back, and his eyes land on you. You raised your eyebrows at him. “Y/L/N.” He didn’t sound terribly surprised.

“No more keeping us in the dark. You can start by telling us why you broke him out of prison.” Walker’s voice nearly overlapped Hoskins’, and his eyes traveled from Zemo to you.

“He did that himself, technically.” Bucky quipped, and shifted to your side slightly.

“I thought you were on vacation.” Walker sneered, making you shrug. You waved idly at the buildings.

“What? I’m sightseeing.”

“Oh, this better have an unbelievable explanation—” He raised his arms, taking a couple steps in your direction, but you didn’t budge.

You were resigned to simply rest your hands at your hips and wait for his temper tantrum to be over, but Sam clapped him on the chest and commanded him to not make things weird. Walker simmered down enough, which makes you beam proudly at Sam.

“I know where Karli is.”

You’d never be caught dead saying that out loud, but thank heavens for Zemo.

The new Captain America insisted on leading the action and turning it into a hostile one. You couldn’t stop staring at the shield on his back while he strutted ahead and turned, arguing with Sam about whether or not attempting to reason with Morgenthau was a good idea. She was indeed dangerous, but the echo of Sam saying that she was only a child earlier filled your ears.

It was risky, but Sam wasn’t reckless. You believed in him wholly.

“Is that why you roped a diplomat into this? There’s still time to change sides and save your job, Y/L/N.”

You didn’t doubt John Walker could and would get you to lose your job position, but you were aware of that possible outcome the minute you flew yourself to Latvia. That was the kind of inconvenience your future self would have to deal with. Sam looked at you for a brief second, forehead creasing with worry.

“Don’t threaten her, Walker.” Bucky warned him, and it was like you were fighting off a gang of bullies in an alleyway back home again.

“You’ll let him do this? Are you gonna let your partner walk into a room with a Super Soldier, alone?” Walker pressed on, holding Bucky’s stare.

“He’s dealt with worse. And he’s not my partner.”

You highly doubted that. These men were as hard-headed as you were, but you didn’t buy into the whole we-aren’t-friends thing. It was evident, in the way they checked on each other from time to time, and had each other’s backs.

“I used to counsel soldiers dealing with trauma, okay? This is right in my wheelhouse.” Sam stepped forward, and Walker was quick to resume the argument. He was desperate for a win, any win, and you caught yourself wondering if he was truly ready for the role he was given.

Hoskins seemed to be the voice of reason he lacked. Walker gave in, reluctantly, and motioned at Zemo.

“We’ll deal with you later.”

You tapped your feet impatiently.

“Boys, there’s no time for this.”

“I’m sure it will all come to an agreeable conclusion. My associate is just up ahead.”

There was a small girl waiting by the building in front of you. She guided the group to an abandoned factory of some sort, and Zemo announced that Karli was inside, and not long after he was being handcuffed to an iron vault door.

Sam stopped himself in his tracks while Walker manhandles the man, and you and him shared a look.

“You wanna come with?”

“No. It’s two against one, might set her off.” You shook your head, turning to look at Walker as he paced around. “You got this, Sam.”

Sam nodded at you and went in.

Ten minutes. You listened attentively for any signs of struggle, hoping things would go smoothly. Your knife felt heavy inside your shoe. Bucky seemed to be focused on the same task next to you.

John Walker grew more anxious by the minute, and you stopped listening to watch him pace around.

“It hasn’t been ten minutes, John. Just sit tight.” Bucky sighed.

“Don’t do that. Don’t patronize me.”

Rich, coming from him, who seemed keen on doing just that to everyone else. Walker squared his shoulders and marched on, Bucky having to stand on his way to stop him. You got off your post on the stairs and blocked the rest of the way. Walker glared at you, then at him.

“This is all really easy for you, isn’t it? All that serum runnin’ through your veins.”

Of course, he would consider the serum more of a blessing than the true curse it was. You exhaled sharply, struggling to keep your emotions in check, watching Bucky’s back as Walker continued.

“Barnes, your partner needs backup in there. Do you really want his blood on your hands?”

You could almost see Bucky’s resolve wavering.

“Bucky, don’t.”

“You really want a casualty that big, Ambassador?”

“You need to cool down, Walker. Sam is—”

You didn’t get to finish, because Walker is barreling his way through you and towards Karli Morgenthau. Hoskins is pushing you and Bucky back as you try to get to Sam and the girl before things blew up even further.

“Walker you can’t—”

“Karli Morgenthau, you’re under arrest.”

Karli knocks Walker down, and Bucky managed to shove Hoskins away to run after her.

“Y/N, ten minutes!” Sam said as the both of you ran off to join the pursuit.

“I know, Sam! There’s no reasoning with this guy!” You groaned. “I’ll go this way, cover more ground.”

Sam nodded, his concerned expression mirroring yours.

You split up as you take off to your right, passing through archways and enclosed cubbyholes, finding nothing but old industrial machinery and junk.

Gunshots.

You counted four, at least.

You managed to pick up the source of the sound after the third discharge, somewhere at the lower level of the building. It would take you forever to find your way down the traditional way.

You landed on the ground floor with a soft thud, and couldn’t help but grin as you look up at the window you had just jumped from. Not bad, though the impact was unexpected and almost knocked the wind out of you.

The sound of smashed glass prompted you to snap back to reality and run into the basement of the factory, the place holding massive iron pipes and boilers. Zemo had his back to you, gun in hand.

A flash of red curly hair poked from behind the last pipe. You tiptoed your way to Karli, crouching next to her. She was clutching her side, blood seeping through her fingers. The receiving end of the shots.

Karli looked at you with terrified eyes, then up, and your gaze followed hers to a man you didn’t recognize, but one of her friends without doubt.

“Get out of here, kid. Go.”

She wasted no time, clambering up the stairs and disappearing through a metal door.

Faster than you and Zemo could acknowledge each other’s actions, he was hit on the heat with flying metal, sending him unconscious to the floor. John Walker stepped into the light.

“Morgenthau?”

“Gone. I was too late.”

Walker appeared to believe you, or he didn’t care, eyeing with interest the shards of fine glass littered on the floor. Zemo had smashed every single vial of serum before being hit with the shield. You kneel next to him and check his pulse.

“Is he…?”

“No. Just out.” You breathed. Walker let out a disappointed hum, leaving you to attempt to waken Zemo by yourself.

Bucky and Sam entered through the door that Karli had escaped through, and Hoskins through the doorway you came in before.

“What did we miss?”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes #will reblog w taglist

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purple-vixen · 4 years ago

Text

Love is a Locked Door - Dick Grayson/Reader

Summary: Damian asks you and Dick to check if there are any monsters in his closet. Somehow the two of you end up locked in there.

You have been friends with Dick for quite some time now. He was definitely one of your favorite people in the world. Dick was funny, kind, smart and selfless, and also strong and very, very handsome. Though the latter ones you never dared to say out loud.

You were in love with Dick Grayson, and you kept this secret under lock and key. Making a move never really crossed your mind. You and he were friends for so long that you were convinced he would never see you in the same light you saw him, besides, you were afraid of ruining your friendship. No one understood you like him, there was no way you were going to risk it.

Being his friend meant you were a regular Wayne Manor visitor, consequently being able to witness Dick's crazy siblings. They all adored you, though Damian was the one who became most fond of you. In the beginning he tried to hide it, but eventually stopped doing so. It was very surprising for the batfamily to see Damian getting attached to someone so quickly.

Damian would show you his action figure collection, play violin for you, ask your opinion on his paintings and he introduced you to every single one of his pets. Not to mention the times Damian would show up in your apartment's balcony seeking advice or just someone to talk to and you two would chat and drink tea all night. You always scolded him for not using the door like any other normal person, but after seeing it was not going to work you decided to let it slide.

You saw Damian like the little brother you never had. He was a cute little cinnamon roll. A deadly cinnamon roll that knew how to kill a person with just two fingers, but a cinnamon roll nonetheless. Which is why you were not able to say "No" to Damian when he asked for you and Dick to check if there were monsters inside his bedroom’s closet.

You and your best friend were now inside there, each one holding a flashlight in your hand, pointing the beams to every shelf, hanger, pile of clothes and corners possible. You had to admit, you had the impression something was a bit off, considering that Damian and Jason were also in the room and they still haven't tried to kill each other yet.

Although the closet was spacious, you and Dick accidentally bumped into each other. He grabbed your shoulders to stop you from falling and you could feel your heart beating so fast it felt like it would jump off your chest at any second.

— Be careful. — He whispered softly. You were glad it was too dark for him to see you blushing as he wrapped his strong arms around you.

— Uhm… Found any monsters yet? — Damian anxiously paced back and forth as he watched his oldest brother and you turning his wardrobe upside down.

— Not yet. —

— And if we do, we're gonna kick its ass. — Dick added.

— Hey, (Y/n). —

— Yes, Damian? —

— Thank you for helping me. —

— Anytime, Dami. I'll always be there. — You walked up to Damian just to ruffle his hair, the youngest Wayne shyly grinned in response.

Dick let out a soft chuckle. Little did you know, to Dick Grayson, you weren't just his friend anymore, you became the one he fell in love with. Seeing you and Damian interacting always made his heart melt like crazy. He thought it was so adorable, you were so adorable. It made him want to kiss you even more than he already longed for.

— What is it? — You raised your eyebrows in confusion at your friend.

— Nothing, nothing. I just... remembered a joke. — Dick scratched the back of his neck, cheeks tinting a light tone of pink as the image of being close to your lips secretly ran through his imagination. — D-Don't stand too far from the door, Damian, you have to watch it for us. — He changed the topic.

— I already am watching. Just keep looking, Grayson. — Damian answered.

— Aren't you too old for the "There are monsters in my closet phase? — Jason was plopped head over heels on the bed, playing Subway Surfers on Dick's phone since his had run out of battery a long time ago. His green eyes glued to the screen, tongue sticking out as he tried to beat his brother's record.

— Jason, take it easy, he's just a kid. — Dick sighed. Being the older one, it always fell to him to cease his siblings' bickering.

— Aren't you too old to be alive? — Damian snapped back to Jason.

— Damian! — Dick rebuked.

— Oh, I spy with my little eye a very ugly monster, he's 4 foot 8 and wearing a turtleneck. — Jason teased.

— And I can see a deadweight spreading germs on my bed. —

— Enough, you two! — Dick ordered with authority. — Jason, give me my phone. Since you and Damian will keep on arguing I want it back. —

On his way to his older brother, Jason winked at Damian, who nodded back. As soon as he handed the phone to Dick, Jason smirked at him and then quietly sat back on the bed like nothing happened, hands on his lap with a rather comical angelic face.

— Sorry about that, (Y/n). — Dick changed to a soft tone as he stared at you with puppy eyes.

— It was taking too long, I guess that's a Guinness record. — You joked, trying to lighten up the mood. — Don't worry, I signed up for this when I became your friend. —

— Yeah… Friend. — He mumbled to himself.

You two went back to searching Damian's closet. A couple minutes had passed when the young boy cleared his throat, trying to get yours and his eldest brother's attention.

— Father is requesting me for an emergency. I must go. — He announced.

— Well, I better get going too. Old man's request is an order. And who am I to say no to beating up criminals? — Jason instantly jumped out of the bed and put on his leather jacket.

Words weren't exchanged, yet with just one look you knew what Dick had to say when he turned to you: "I have to leave."

The moment Dick got up and started to walk away, Damian rushed out of his bedroom, leaving the closet door unattended.

— Damian, wait! The...— Before you were able to finish your sentence, a loud slamming sound reverberated. —...door. —

You pointed your flashlight to the doorknob and tried to open it.

— It's broken. Last time Alfred went here to put away Damian's clothes he ended up locked till someone opened on the outside. — Dick commented.

— I know, but it was worth a try. — You shrugged your shoulders. — Talking about Alfred, We could try calling him. I bet he's the only person in the Manor right now. You know, beside us. —

— Great idea! — He took his phone out of his pocket. Dick unlocked his phone and scrolled through his contacts until he found Alfred's name, he barely had time to hit the "dial" button before his phone ran out of battery and turned off. — Jason. — Dick growled, recalling the fact Jason borrowed his phone to play games.

— No prob. I can get my phone, it's in my purse… My god, I'm so stupid. I left my purse! — Dick burst laughing and you elbowed him, only causing him to erupt an even louder chuckle.

— Well, that's better. — He shrugged his shoulders.

— How can it be better? We're locked in a closet! —

— There was that one time I got stuck inside a garbage truck with the Riddler. —

This time you were the one laughing. That's one of the many reasons you loved him, he always knew how to make you smile no matter what the situation was.

— I bet you loved hearing his riddles all night. —

— Believe it or not, that wasn't even the worse part. I had to soak my suit for an entire week. —

— But seriously, how are we gonna get out? — You asked as soon as the laughter died down.

— To be honest, I have no idea. —

You both tried yelling at the door to see if anybody would show up. Then Dick tried doing the credit card trick he often used to open doors, it didn't work.

You started avidly searching for something you could pry the door open with. Eventually you encountered Damian's arsenal. The fact Damian kept a stash of deadly weapons inside his closet didn't surprise any of you.

Dick tried picking the lock with a sai and you tried slashing the doorknob with a sword. Dick would have found quite hot the way you wielded the katana and made a perfect dash attack, would have, that was if you didn't almost slice him with the sword on accident. As the last shot, Dick tried to force the doors open by throwing himself at them, the doors were blocked by something neither of you could tell and Dick lightly hurt his shoulder.

— Don't worry. I've been through worse. — Dick reassured.

— Dick, that does NOT leave me less worried about you. You could have a paper cut or a gunshot wound and I'd worry the same. —

— So you're worried about me, huh? — You could see his remarkable smirk dimly lit by the flashlight.

— I'm always worried about you, you idiot! — Dick's smirk grew wider at your reply. — Gosh, sometimes I wish I could wipe that smirk off your face. — You grumbled as you crossed your arms.

— Then why don't you try it? — Dick snapped in a flirty tone.

You inclined yourself towards him and your lips touched his. It was just a peck, it lasted for a couple seconds but for the two of you it felt like the time froze.

— Did that work? — You lifted an eyebrow. But then rolled your eyes when you realized that his wide smirk had become a full grin.

— I think you should try it again. — Dick pulled you closer to him.

Once again your lips met. This time the kiss was hungrier, needier. If only you knew that kissing him would feel that great, you wouldn't have held back for so long. Now that you were there, so close to him, you were free. And so was he.

Dick always pictured how it would feel like to slide his tongue in your mouth as you tugged his hair. And it was so, damn, good. Better than he ever wondered it could be. Dick felt in cloud nine, sensing goosebumps as your fingertips roamed around his abs. He grabbed your hips and pulled you closer to him, your chest was pulled flush against his, yet it still wasn't close enough.

You both pulled away breathless. The room was dimly lit, but as Dick tried to regain his breath, you could see his sapphire blue eyes with the pupils blown out.

— I guess that worked. — You joked.

— I should try being cocky more often. — He replied with that same flirty tone. — So… How long did you…? —

— For a while. —

— Yeah, me too. What took you so long? —

— Well... I was afraid things would get awkward between us. I wasn't sure if you liked me back. —

— Are you kidding me? I've been dropping hints for months! — He chuckled. — After all of this is over do you want to go on a date with me? —

— I'd love to. — You grinned.

You two were about to continue your makeout session when suddenly the creek of the door was heard, the bright light from the bedroom almost blinding your eyes since you got used to the dark from being locked in there. Both you and Dick jumped out of each other, in an attempt to not get caught.

— Okay kids, seven minutes in heaven is over! — Jason mocked after opening the door to your way out. Damian right behind him.

— Seven minutes? We've been locked here for two hours! — Dick protested.

— You say it like you weren't enjoying it. C'mon, just thank us. — He smirked.

— What do you mean by "thank" the two of you? Wait… You planned this? — You questioned.

— It was actually Damian's evil master plan, but I helped him execute it. Ya know, making Dick's phone run out of battery, hiding your purse, pushing the desk in front of the door so that you couldn't bust the door down. That kind of stuff. — Jason shrugged his shoulders.

— And apparently it all went well. — Damian nodded. — TT. Maybe too well. —

— Dami! — You rebuked. — Why did you do that? —

— I figured that if you started dating Grayson, you would have an excuse to visit us more often. — He crossed his arms as his cheeks blushed.

— You're aware that if that happens she will come here to visit just Dick, right? — Jason asked.

— Lay a finger on her and you're a dead man, Grayson! — Damian snarled and grabbed your hand, dragging you along with him as he started running. You couldn't help but chuckle at the fact the 11-year-old was so protective of you.

— Hey! I want my date back! — Dick whined and started running after you.

You rolled your eyes at the two boys as you ran, you knew tonight would be a long night since you first arrived at the Manor.

#dick grayson #nightwing #dick grayson imagine #dick grayson imagines #nightwing imagines #nightwing imagine #dick grayson x reader #nightwing x reader #dc comics imagines #batfamily #jason todd #damian wayne #imagines #imagine

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dennou-translations · 4 years ago

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Violet Evergarden: Booklet 2

Please feel free to message me about possible corrections. If you can, consider supporting the creators by purchasing the official releases. In case anyone is feeling generous, please consider donating to my Ko-fi or PayPal. ( ╹◡╹)っ’･*

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I wanted that star. I wanted to be the person who would piece through that star.

Leon Stephanotis and the First Star

I had once seen a comet that only came around every two hundred years together with a girl.

It had happened years ago. That was one beautiful evening. Even now, I can still vividly recall the twinkling of the stars we watched on that day while our bodies shivered at the coldness of the nightly wind. Like jewels scattered over a dark canopy, the starry sky was enough to make one forget to even breathe. As it passed by, dragging its white tail, the meteor looked just like a fairy in flight with insect scales scattering about from her wings.

Whenever I looked at a beautiful night sky, I would think many times over, “Aah, now that I’ve branded this moment into my heart, I’d have no regrets if someone reaped my life away”. Should I lose my life, I wanted it to be on a starry night like that. I wanted to die with the memory of witnessing something stunning.

“May the night sky be a beautiful starry one on the day I die,” I wished.

But that one evening was a little bit different. Maybe because I had someone to watch the stars with me. Maybe because that was my first love.

She was a gorgeous person. Even more than the stars. Her hair looked like the Sun when shining under the moonlight and her blue eyes were like gemstones created from a mix of the sea and the sky. With her porcelain skin and skylark voice, the way she walked was just as that of a well-cared maiden. In reality, she was an orphaned ex-soldier, as well as an Auto-Memories Doll from a far-away southern country, so the saying “don’t judge a book by its cover” was pertinent when it came to her.

She was most likely an once-in-a-lifetime kind of person, one that you couldn’t know if you would ever get to meet.

My chest throbbed even at the sigh that leaked from her when she was peeking at the telescope. When she looked my way and smiled faintly, I experienced an impact as if I had been hit in the head, giving in to a love that made me feel like my whole body would melt and crumble down.

“Master, astronomical observations are quite a wonderful thing.”

If, by any chance, my body were to be crushed by a star in that moment, only on that day did I want to keep looking at something, even if for just one second more. I wanted to keep looking at her. Forever and ever, I wished. That was what I thought.

This encounter had changed my life and decided my fate. I didn’t mind if people laughed at that, calling me a romanticist. I, Leon Stephanotis, whose destiny had been altered, would always look back on it.

On the day that I had watched the stars with Violet Evergarden.

“There was a sea of gold in his land” – who was it again that had sung the praises of a desert like this?

“I’m beat.”

When bookworms read too much, their head’s capacity would exceed the limit, so they would automatically forget the things they had read in their early phases. I had confidence in my memorization abilities and yet I couldn’t remember this, so it was surely a passage from an adventure novel or something of the sort that I had read in my childhood.

——What a beautiful comparison.

When I actually stood in the middle of a desert, my impressions were drawn to the temperatures, sunlight and other such things regarding the environment instead, so this poetic expression hadn’t crossed my mind. In the destinations of my travels, I often reminisced to a certain someone who was somewhere in this world, as well as the things she, who spoke words as beautiful as that, used to say, as if borrowing them.

“So pretty...”

I liked the color of gold. I could observe the grains of sand moving smoothly for all eternity.

“Everyone, you did well; the books we excavated will be brought back by another group. Meaning that we from the starting line-up are finally off for the first time in months.”

As I was spacing out, I didn’t hear the commander’s words very well. I was only staring at the ground, missing out on everything. When I raised my head, the happy-looking faces of my bearded and somewhat dirty colleagues entered my eyes. All I understood right away was that we would get a vacation.

“After we get twenty days off, we’ll regroup in Iustitia, at Shaher’s headquarters. After that, we’ll go to that place in the south where the reconnaissance team was sent. Next will be our turn to bring back the luggage. Don’t let your bodies get weak.”

“Roger that.” Once everybody gave an agreeable reply in unison, we disbanded from the spot.

Iustitia, Shaher’s headquarters. The main office of my occupation. I was previously in a section called the codex department, devotedly working on the deciphering of documents and copying manuscripts, but now I had been transferred to a completely different section. It sounded good when we were called the leading actors, but it was actually a group of reeking adventure rascals, the literature collecting department.

I put my heavy baggage sack on the ground and heaved a breath. Wiping the white folk clothes that I had been provided with on-site, I dusted the sand off them. This clothing called dola – a long robe secured by a waist belt – looked flappy and inflexible at first glance, but it was surprisingly easy to move around in. It was made of a rather velvety silk material, so there would normally not be so much sand sticking to it, but since I was caught in a sandstorm until just a moment ago, there was no helping it.

We had returned from a thorough search in the ruins of an abandoned castle, once the dominion of a royal clan whose name was eminent in the past. A book burning movement had taken place in this land at a certain point, but we had received information that a scholar from those times, out of fear towards the situation, had hidden valuable books in the forsaken palace. The information was apparently right, so after wandering around all over the deserted castle, we had found dozens of books. The books that would be taken to Shaher’s headquarters were to be made into written copies and spread to the world.

Made for protection purposes, Shaher’s literature collection was also well-reputed in other countries. It was difficult to negotiate with the locals responsible for the abandoned castle, but we were allowed entrance this time as well thanks to our achievements thus far. Just like that, someone’s story, studies and feelings, which were supposed to have disappeared, would breathe once again. The books we had been looking for would be delivered to other people and comfort them during long nights.

——What a wonderful thing.

The working environment was awful, but I was proud of my job.

I sat down on my luggage and gazed at the cityscape while drinking water from my canteen. In this desert-zone city, everyone’s clothes seemed harmonized no matter what color they wore.

“Senior Leon, what will you do on your days off?”

As a junior who had not yet left the spot called to me, I furrowed my brows and looked at his face. He was a young man of masculine facial traits, which was enviable to someone as baby-faced as me.

“Hey, Sir.”

A rarity amongst the members of our unit, the man had not been born in Iustitia. If I wasn’t mistaken, he was a rich kid who had been born in a southern country and entered Shaher through connections with the foundation executives.

Getting a job at the Shaher Observatory was a daunting task even for those who had studied astronomy. It was hard to make it without learning in a good environment from an early age. Since Iustitia, the capital of stargazing, was the best place to study in, it was natural that the ones hired were mostly the locals.

——Well, this guy had connections, so this has nothing to do with him.

I pondered an answer. “Nothing in particular.” For the time being, I decided to be cold, acting as nonchalant as ever.

And this was also the same as always, but the junior took no offense in my crude response – rather, he laughed at me, looking happy. “Then that means you’ve got no plans. I was thinking of going home. If you’d like, how about we go together? We have a villa by the lake... If I go now, the schedule will allow my family to join in.”

“No, why do I—”

“Last time we had a break, I told my little sisters about your cool adventure story and they wouldn’t shut up about how much they wanted to meet you. Hey, hey, how about it?”

I was baffled. I had no idea what was good about me to this junior but he would oddly flock to me. The reason why I hadn’t told him about my plans right away was that I felt he would follow me if I did so. Honestly, he was a bother. Up to now, we had acted as a group. I wanted to be alone even if a second sooner.

“I’m not going.”

“No way... My family’s all pretty boys and girls! Sir, you like beautiful things, don’t you?”

“Do they look like you?”

“They do.”

“Then they might be pretty, but won’t be my type.”

“Sir! You’re horrible!”

“So loud. If your family’s waiting for you, hurry and go.”

While I gestured with my hand as if shooing a dog, the junior made a puppy-like sad face. Even though he had a big body, he was amicable and his display of emotions was richer than most people, making him look all the more like a dog.

“Then, if you ever feel like coming to see me during your break...”

“I won’t.”

“...could you contact a hotel called Varona in Leidenschaftlich?”

“I won... uh?”

“It’s a first-class accommodation establishment. It’s under my uncle’s administration, so you can get a stay there immediately, and I can pick you up as soon as you give me my name. Oh, you’re making an interested face, huh? Want to come with me right now?”

What piqued my interest was the word “Leidenschaftlich” – that was all.

——That’s where the CH Postal Company is.

And it was also where my first love worked at.

“You were from Leidenschaftlich...?”

“That’s right. I did say it in my self-introduction when I joined the department.”

“Well, I don’t listen to people I have no interest in...”

As expected, my junior gave a happy-looking smile with his whole face. “Sir, I like that you’re equally unfriendly to everyone. People only got close to me because of my title... and my family’s social standing... but Sir, you’re cold, and that feels nice.”

“Your suffocating actions are a pain in the ass to me. Besides, hum...”

“What is it, Sir?”

“Hum, say... is the CH Postal Company well-known?”

“Do you know Violet Evergarden?” – the reason why I couldn’t ask this was a literal embodiment of how much I lacked guts, I thought.

With an “aah”, my junior immediately made a face like the name rang a bell. “I know them. It’s the company of that businessman, Claudia Hodgins, right? They’re popular. Shocking that the name of a company would come from you.”

“I’m an adult, after all. I’d know the name of one or two renowned businesses at least.”

“That’s a lie, ain’t it? I already know you don’t have interest in anything but stars. Erm... if I’m not wrong, all the postal companies of Leiden got sucked into it. They also succeeded in company split-ups. Their president is a celebrity too. The newspaper series where he talks to other entrepreneurs is a trend... It got adapted into a book just recently. There’s a chapter in the extra edition where he talks to his secretary and the president of an affiliated company, and it’s so fun. The book’s in my room at the headquarters, so you can take it with you and read it all you want.”

“Is there nothing about business in that book? Like, about the Auto-Memories Doll field... Hum, according to my research, there should be a rather famous Auto-Memories Doll in it... Don’t know if she’s still there, though.”

I timidly attempted to ask, yet it seemed my junior didn’t know the details. That was expected. The number of people who could hire Auto-Memories Dolls was limited, so hardly anybody would know even the name of a famed Doll unless it was someone marginally acquainted with them.

“I wonder. I do sorta know that they apparently have one real beauty of a Doll. But I also have a good-looking face... so I don’t yield to beauties from here and there.”

“Got it. Thanks for the info. And for the nice conversation. Go home.”

“Sir...! If you get bored of being alone, please remember me!”

Leaving behind my clingy junior, I took off from that place. I strutted with a hand in my pocket.

My junior wasn’t a bad guy. He had a high-handed personality but fit into the category of good person. He must have talked to me like that because he knew about my background as an orphan who had lost his parents and got a job at the astronomical observatory by way of assistance from Shaher. Meaning he was worried about his senior, who would be spending his vacation alone with no lover or family. The reason why he had invited me to a house where his family would be was probably that he was exposing his intentions in his own way.

——But to hell with that.

I wanted to be alone. To say that the people who thought I was pitiful were the actual pitiful ones was my essence. I had always enjoyed watching the stars by myself anyway, and I enjoyed books about stars too. Book reading wasn’t meant to be done with two people, right? I liked being alone. This was also because I had lived a life of accepting solitude for a long time, but if anything, it was harder for me to settle down when I was in someone’s company.

When I turned the street corner and confirmed that he finally wasn’t following me anymore, I let out a relieved sigh.

——Alone at last. Time and space just for me.

The times when I was by myself like this were the ones I felt most comfortable in, and while I did have some things to reflect upon in that regard, unfortunately, I didn’t have a family to pester me about having children, unlike the rest of society. Because I was alone.

——I get that it isn’t a good thing.

There were things that you couldn’t get used to or change, despite understanding why you should. I was equal parts as obstinate as I felt inferior to those who had families. Only one person had ever made me want to be with her for a little longer when I was in her company.

——Only one.

Our circumstances were similar and we were also alike in that we were burdened with loneliness, but it wasn’t as if I liked her because of the similarity. It was because she seemed like she would be all right even if she were on her own, so I had wished to stay by her side. To get close to her. I “liked” her in that way. It wasn’t as if I wanted her to do something for me. I was the one who wanted to do something for her. It was that kind of ��like”.

It had happened a long time ago.

After we had spent a little time together, she left. When we were bidding our farewells, I stopped her and confessed.

“Violet.”

I told her I was in love with her. I didn’t ask her, “I like you, so what do you wanna do?” – I simply told her I liked her.

“I’m... I’m... in the codex department now, but... I actually wanted to be in the literature collecting department like my father.”

She gave me this answer: the way that she cherished me was different.

“I had my hopes up that maybe my mother would come home one day if I waited here, bringing my father back with her... so I kept shutting myself in until this age, without ever stepping off into the outside world. That was possible in this place and I wanted it myself. But... just now...”

But if we ever happened to meet again, she wanted to spend time with me.

“I’ve just made up my mind. I’ll go around the world like you.”

In that moment, the woman who had said that she couldn’t feel emotions...

“I might face danger. I might lose my life without anyone ever finding my body, just like my parents. But—But that’s okay. I’m thinking of choosing that path.”

...smiled at me like a normal girl, looking happy, and told me something.

“If I do that, I’m sure we might get to meet someday, somewhere, under a starry sky. We’re both gypsies. And if that happens, will you...”

——...watch the stars with me again?

“Yes, Master.”

She told me that. She said it. This alone was already enough for me. This alone gave me the courage to come out of the world that I had been secluding myself in. Even if my love wasn’t requited, even if we never saw each other again, I was so happy.

She.

Violet.

Violet Evergarden.

Just that – just the fact that she had promised to watch the stars with me – had made me happy to the point of changing my life.

I kept making transfer requests ever since that day, finally earned approval and ventured myself into the outside world. The world other than Iustitia that I saw for the first time was bustling with a dizzying variety of things, which made me regret secluding myself. But surely, if I hadn’t met her, I would have taken a lot longer to go outside. No, I might have never left that bird cage to begin with.

That environment where I was allowed to wallow was terribly indulgent. After all, everyone was awfully nice to me for not being able to stand up, just because I was sad.

I didn’t simply think that I would definitely get to see her at least once. The probability of an astronomer and an Auto-Memories Doll, who had spent time together at work, meeting even once was surely the same as the meteor we had seen that day – once every two hundred years.

I was being ridiculous. If I really wanted to see her, I should just go visit her postal company in Leiden. The reason why I didn’t do it was that I was scared. That maybe her words were just out of friendliness, and that, if we did meet, she wouldn’t even remember me and I would be rejected. On top of being terrified of this, I also had a dream.

That if we ever happened to reunite, I wanted us to meet again truly by coincidence, under a starry sky.

If something like that really were to happen, just what would I do? Would I smile? Cry? Or ask for her love again?

I nodded at a passerby who had almost collided with me and started walking again. I had no particular destination. I could also go back to the headquarters just like this and be an idle bookworm in my own room, but going sightseeing around this city for at least a little bit was also good.

——I won’t get to see Violet if I stay in that place.

I had no free time to spend money, so I could afford the luxury of staying at a remotely nice hotel. Having made up my mind, I went into the main street and began looking for accommodation in the desert capital.

Local idioms were honestly my weak point. Even though it was a common language, it was hard to catch because of the many dialects. When I talked to elders, I was done for.

However, I could perfectly understand that the inn’s owner, an old gentleman, had treated me like a “young lady”. Of course, I told him he was mistaken, but he didn’t hear it. He led me to my room with a hand around my hips.

The room was quite a high-class one, so I let it slide. If it were my old self, I would have been as furious as a raging fire. But I had grown up. By holding back my anger, I would manage to spend the night in a proper bed, where it didn’t seem like bugs would show up, so becoming an adult was for the best. Even if my self-respect decreased a little.

While I was chilling in the room and writing my diary, the sun went down in a blink of eye and it was getting late into the evening.

“Heave-ho.”

It was the dead of night. I put on warm clothes and prepared myself to go out.

I wanted to observe the desert’s starry sky at my own leisure. As our activities had been limited to daytime ever since we had arrived here, I was now finally getting to do the things that I actually felt like doing. I had watched it together with everyone else from the windows of the cheap inn that the literature collecting department’s personnel had stayed at, but as expected, I wanted to see it from a spacious place with no noise or anything of the sort. As a scholar born in the so-called “capital of stargazing”, I obviously was going to have my fill of the desert’s night sky.

Unable to contain my feelings of excitement, I left the room after my lips relaxed a bit. For the heck of it, I greeted the innkeeper and told him I was going to see the stars. When I did so, he made a worried-looking face.

Apparently, women were forbidden of wandering outside at night in these lands. He couldn’t stop me from going out since I wasn’t a local, but warned me not to get too close to men. It wasn’t as if there were many ruffians among the people who walked around at night, but simply that this city had this kind of culture, so if the men suddenly spotted a woman, they might think badly of it. I had grown up in a men’s dormitory watching a bunch of idiots, so I understood what he was trying to say.

I showed him the retractable cane I was holding, and while I was at it, I also demonstrated with one swing that a blade came out from the tip as well. It was not for killing anyone, but it sufficed for making the other party recoil and holding them back.

Receiving the innkeeper’s applause from behind, I ventured myself outside.

The temperature gaps between nighttime and daytime was extreme in the desert. Having been raised in a mountaintop astronomical observatory, I was used to areas where there was a discrepancy in temperatures between day and night, but even then, I could bring myself to deem it as comfortable due to differences in humidity. The instant I stepped outside, I shuddered with a “brr”.

However, I forgot the cold as soon as I saw the sight spreading overhead. Surely, God must have dropped His jewel box. The starry sky unfolded in a way that made even someone like me come up with such a poetic saying.

Due to the fact that it was nighttime, there were few people out, but it wasn’t as if nobody was wandering about the city. Just as the innkeeper had said, it seemed that someone with a womanly appearance (I wasn’t a woman at all, though) walking around did catch people’s eyes, as they called to me countless times. I put myself on guard in each of those instances, and everyone withdrew with the same caution as the innkeeper.

Not letting the women walk around late at night was also meant for protecting them.

I had heard that there was a place for stargazing aimed at tourists somewhere a little far from the city, so I headed there, for safety as well. Several tents were erected around the sparse green area. In addition to privately built tents, there were also merchant tents selling drinks and food.

After looking through the signboards with the prices of the alcohol and warm soups that people of this region consumed and were familiar with, I picked the alcohol. I was an adult now and on vacation, so I told myself that it was okay to drink today and gave myself permission.

I went for a cloudy-colored alcoholic drink simmered in a large pot called the witch’s cauldron. It was warm and sweet, with a slightly spicy aftertaste. It warmed your body when you drank it and was the best delicacy to savor in cold weather.

Some people invited me to enter their tents, but I refused and steadily began setting up by arranging the astronomical observation tools that I had prepared. I assembled a demountable astronomical telescope over the sheets.

Even though this was said to be a place for stargazing, not everyone seemed to be astronomy freaks like in Iustitia – most of them were lying on the ground, enjoying a conversation with their companions while relishing in the jewels of the night. Everyone other than myself had simple handheld telescopes, so a few locals started appearing fussily around me, looking greatly interested. If anything, there weren’t just tourists.

A young father who had a child with him shyly came to ask me, “How much is it for you to let us take a look?” Apparently, he had mistaken me for a merchant.

“I don’t take money for it. It’s something for me to enjoy myself.”

The young parent made a bewildered face at my blunt reply, but nervously stepped in front of the kid and said, “It’s okay even if it’s just for a little bit, couldn’t you let this child take a peek?”

“Sure, it’s fine.”

He was also surprised at my ready consent. As he asked one more time if I really wasn’t going to charge for it, I declared that I wasn’t, swearing by this land’s god.

I beckoned the child. Our heights didn’t match since he was too small, so I lifted him by the hips.

“Can you see them?”

“Just a tad higher.”

“This much?”

“Amaziiing.”

At the child’s delighted look, the father and I locked eyes with each other and laughed. Then, other people who had been surrounding us at a distance came over one after another, asking me to let them see next. Whenever I said that I wasn’t charging any fee, they would ask me back, “Are you a saint or what?”.

In a land where you could see such beautiful stars, astronomical telescopes weren’t wild-spread among locals, enjoyed only by tourists and outsiders. That was probably the case. For them, this was an expensive item brought by outsiders. The stars were beautiful enough at naked eye, so if I had to say it, telescopes weren’t necessary. But if there was something that would help them see better, there would obviously be people saying that they want to take a look.

——Guess I’m gonna contact Shaher’s donors and indicate this place as a potential donation site.

If this pleased so many people, maybe it would be nice to have a telescope that everyone could look into, just as there were benches where everyone could sit on along the streets. I liked stars, so it made me happy even if just one more person fell in love with them.

“Having fun?”

“We are! You’re so generous!”

The figure of an elderly man much older than myself smiling like a boy, looking extremely happy, struck home pretty hard. It wasn’t like I wanted to hang out with anyone or that I had a preference for getting along with everybody. That wasn’t the case at all.

“This thing’s pricey, ain’t it? You okay with people touchin’ it without a care?”

“It’s not made for decoration; it’s something to look at.”

But these kinds of moments were nice.

——Very nice.

If these once-in-a-lifetime encounters would increase the proportion of stargazing in someone’s life, nothing could make me happier.

——When I get old, I guess I’m gonna run a rent-a-telescope or something like that somewhere.

I decided to take a few steps back and let everyone enjoy themselves.

This sensation that the joy of the surroundings was becoming more and more contagious. This feeling that people were gathering there only out of curiosity and adventurous spirit, not for profit. It didn’t seem fitting of my usual self, but something like this was also conceivable every once in a while.

With nothing to do, I naturally started looking around. Wonderful night, wonderful atmosphere.

The figure of someone standing still amongst it all entered my field of vision even without me wanting to. Everyone else had a companion.

The person was clad in dola like me and had a veil covering her face. From her physique, I could somehow presume that she was probably a woman.

Hoping that no weirdos would go talk to her, I worried about and kept watch over the woman, just like people had done for me. If she got caught up by anybody, should I intervene?

I used to hate women, yet here I was, concerning myself with one. I might have a misconstrued sense of justice, but I at least had to care.

I was just looking at her for a little while simply for that reason, but the instant that the wind blew strongly, all of my nerves became her captive. Her veil came off. It came off just slightly and I could see her face.

Her golden hair fluttered leniently. Her shapely profile was exposed under the starry sky. This beauty that could be discerned even in the nightly darkness was breathtaking.

It was really just a few seconds’ time and she immediately fixed the veil back on tight, but I had already seen her, so I knew. I knew.

I knew who that was.

Distancing myself from the telescope, I walked unsteadily towards her. Like winged bugs that gathered up to light.

This person literally shone like a lantern in my life. It was fire that wouldn’t disappear, no matter how much time passed. Time only strengthened the flame’s vigor.

That was why, aah, I... I...

“Violet Evergarden... is that you?”

That was why I called to her at that moment, with a shrill voice. As she looked at me, her eyes slowly crinkled, the corners of her lips went up and she smiled at me.

I felt like tearing up at that.

“It has been a while, Master.”

I had dreamed of this.

“Is it really you?”

I had dreamed of this day.

“Yes, Master.”

Always had been.

“Stupid, I’m not your master anymore... I have a name too... You’ve probably forgotten about it, but I... My name is...”

I had dreamed of this day and had always been thinking about what to say if we ever got to meet again.

“Mr. Leon Stephanotis. Is ‘Mr. Leon’ all right?”

If it were under a starry sky with not a single cloud, we could talk about its bare beauty. If it were on a rainy day, we could discuss the mythology related to the constellations.

“Did I mistake it? I have confidence in my memorization skills, but...”

If it were on a night where a once-in-every-two-centuries meteor were to pass by, we could share stories of the past in which we had observed the sky together.

“No... you got it right. You got it... Just ‘Leon’ is fine... Violet, the time you spent with me was so long ago, and yet, you sure... managed to...”

I had dreamed of this. You had no idea, did you, Violet Evergarden?

“You sure managed to remember.”

You were my first love. The first person I fell for. That day was the first time I confessed to someone.

“Leon, do you recall the promise we made?”

I opened the door to courage. I opened it thinking it would be okay even if I got hurt. But instead of hurting me, you accepted it. You broke my love to pieces, but still acknowledged it.

“Yeah.”

I had dreamed of this. Of this moment. You didn’t have to remember it. You could have forgotten what you had said to me. But if nothing else, I wanted to have one more look at you before I died.

“Have you memorized...”

One more time.

“...the names of a few stars?”

I wanted to see you one more time.

Violet Evergarden. I – the sixteen-year-old Leon Stephanotis – was in love with you.

He was in love with you. So was my current self. Now that you were in front of me, I could tell as much, even if I didn’t want to.

The flame inside my chest was saying, “This woman is the one who started the fire.” It told me that you were the woman who burned me up. You had burned me, and you still were. You melted everything that I had locked up within ice. It told me that you were the woman of my fate.

Violet wordlessly nodded in agreement. She nodded like a child. She was happy that I remembered what she had told me – I could tell by the facial expression she was making.

——You used to be so expressionless and doll-like – who was it that changed you so much?

You weren’t a doll anymore now. More like a girl who had someone’s love. You didn’t look like anything but that in my eyes ever since you were with me, though. But now, surely you had someone. This someone had changed you to that point, right?

“Violet,” I said, suppressing the pain of my sweltering chest. “If you have some time, won’t you spend it with me?” I asked.

I was attempting to open the door to courage again. Regardless of what awaited me beyond it, even if I regretted opening it. I asked nevertheless.

You changed me. You made me who I was. You probably didn’t know that. You didn’t have to.

“Yes, by all means.”

And this beautiful woman in front of me, too.

“I had been waiting for a day to come when I inform you about the fruits of my studies.”

Surely, she had also been made by someone.

“Should we ever meet, I had wanted to report them to you, even if you did not remember.”

Envy, affection and attachment ran through my body.

“That is what I was thinking.”

My sixteen-year-old self was screaming. “I was in love with you. I was in love with you. I was in love with you. I’m in love with you. Even now, I still like you,” he shouted.

I no longer had any of the youth and recklessness of those days. However, regarding my love for her, the me from back when I confessed to her was still here.

“I’m sure what I’m gonna say now will trouble you. But would you listen?”

I was still here. That version of me was still inside me.

Violet Evergarden, you...

“You can laugh if you want; you see...”

...to me, you... a woman like you was...

“You were my first love.”

Violet Evergarden, you...

“I still like you. Forgive me.”

To me, you were a woman of the stars.

#violet evergarden #fyeahvioletevergarden #veedit #kyoani #kyoto animation #leon stephanotis #violet evergarden booklets #akatsuki kana #takase akiko #novel #my translation #leon stephanotis and the first star #leon stephanotis to ichibanboshi

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lassieposting · 3 years ago

Note

I'm mad at myself for asking this but 💘 skug/alt!Serpine

WHEEZES

U CONVERTED

send me 💘 + A SHIP and i’ll tell you—

where they first met and how

KOTW.

Then, after Skug refuses to kill Serpine at the end of SOW, China spitefully makes him responsible for Serpine's behaviour while he's living in Roarhaven. "Parole officer" isn't part of Skug's job description but honestly he doesn't trust anyone else to make sure Serpine doesn't slip the leash, so

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved

I mean, Serpine literally gets his dick out in their very first scene together, and he throws his towel over Val's head so it clearly wasn't for her benefit.

My headcanon is that he did have the hots for his own dimension's Skulduggery before he died. But Serpine has a very warped experience of emotions - he's not insane, and he's not a complete psychopath, but he has very low empathy, an obsessive personality, a considerable sadistic streak and a tendency to be jealous, narcissistic and manipulative. So his crush on Skug was more like an unhealthy fixation - hatred and lust and humiliation and the need to control, all tangled together.

On Skug's side...he has a few lines that read as flirty, in a D/S kind of way. But honestly I don't think this was deliberate. I get the impression he's actually imitating how Serpine spoke to him when he was the prisoner. Serpine's entire arc in SOW can be condensed down to "microdosing on what he put Skug through before killing him". He's surrounded by enemies who want him dead, he loses a body part, he's beaten up, he's humiliated, he's cut off from his magic - and he hates it. I get the vibe that this isn't lost on Skug, and he's repeating things Serpine once mockingly said to him just to rub it in.

who fell for who first ( if applicable )

Serpine.

I have him converting to the Church of the Faceless as a teenager, so he's spent his entire adult life surrounded by other selfish, scheming social climbers who'd sell him to Satan for a corn chip. His relationship history is chock full of psychopaths. He's used to betrayal and being used by his partners - such is life, as a bad guy.

So Skug protecting him during the Leibniz mission makes quite an impact. He even says himself that Skug has every reason to hate him and want to make him suffer - which is an attempt at empathy considerably deeper than anything we've seen from him before - but he's still shocked and devastated when Skug cuts his hand off. He genuinely expected Skug to decide to fight their way out rather than harm him. To me, that says he's come to rely on having Skug in his corner, which is a security net he is decidedly not used to having.

He doesn't necessarily express it very well? His feelings are complicated, and he doesn't understand most of them. A good part of him still hates Skug, just as a good part of Skug will always hate him. But his fixation on Skug shifts a bit - rather than obsessing over him as an enemy, he obsesses over him as an ally. He starts wanting Skug's approval and digging for praise, he gets sulky and jealous if Skug implies he doesn't trust him or goes to someone else for help or information instead, and he starts trying to insert himself into Skug's life.

Basically, he's gotten over that he spent the past 300 years as Skug's enemy, so Skug needs to be over it too. Right now. And it's unreasonable and unfair that he isn't over it.

where their first date was and what it was like

Skug is willing to acknowledge that if they were a couple, which they're not, because they're arch enemies, then maybe, if you really had to look at anything they do as "a date" then...perhaps the first time they went to the opera could in some way be considered their first date. But it wasn't. Because they're not together. He doesn't even like Serpine. Valkyrie just doesn't appreciate "yowling" and he had nobody else to go with because all his friends are dead.

Serpine will agree with this - but only because he knows that announcing that he lowkey considers their three day torture extravaganza to be their first date would go down like a lead balloon.

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

They never have a "going steady" discussion. It's just

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

They're adamant that there's nothing to let anyone know about. They spend a lot of time together, and sometimes Serpine helps with cases, and they angry fuck sometimes, and Skug keeps a few shirts and a toothbrush at Serpine's apartment, but they're not a couple.

who’s more dominant

Skug. Serpine will die mad about it. He complains constantly about how much he gets manhandled during the Leibniz mission, how undignified it is to be cut off from his magic, how everyone tells him to shut up every time he tries to join in a conversation, he hates you all, remember that time he killed people you all cared about?

Unfortunately, Serpine is a massively subby bottom, so dom!Skug makes him deeply horny and even more angry about it. He's the epitome of "Stop looking at my fucking boner when we fight."

where their first kiss was and what it was like

It's New Year's. Serpine is out at a bar with some of his student neighbours because, why not. Skug is at the same bar, questioning the staff about a grizzly murder. The usual. Serpine goes over to say hello and make fun of him for Always Working and tell him he should chill out on occasion because isn't it your fucking birthday and you're still at work??? They're still talking when the countdown finishes and everyone around them starts kissing, which is a completely new concept to Serpine because that tradition wasn't part of the Leibniz dimension's New Year's festivities, so he just sort of panics because everyone else is doing it, grabs Skug by the front of his coat and goes for it.

Skug freezes, because who would know how to react when the man who killed you once tries to go to town on your fake face, and then gets his shit together and promptly arrests Serpine for assaulting a Sanctuary official, because he's petty and he can and Nef needs to learn some fucking boundaries.

They end up lowkey working on the case together through the bars of the temporary holding cell, and although neither of them would admit it, they actually have a good time. At the end of the night Skug relents, lets him out for "good behaviour" and gives him a lift home.

how into pda they are

Serpine is hugely into PDA. He likes a possessive, jealous partner, he's got a bit of an exhibitionistic streak, and ultimately he wants to be wanted enough to be fought over.

Unfortunately for him, Skug is not a PDA fan in the slightest. Serpine finds this bitterly disappointing.

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

A Roarhaven restaurant with a live jazz band. Serpine likes the food, Skug likes the music, and it's public - so neither of them feels wrongfooted and vulnerable in the other one's territory. Although, as Serpine likes to point out, it would be a bit difficult to torture and dismember a man in his student accommodation apartment. If he can hear Maddie-across-the-hall having muffled sex with her latest beau from the far side of his flat , he's pretty sure the entire building would hear Skug fighting his way out of whatever diabolical trap he seems to think has been set for him every time he comes over.

who’s more protective

Skug is more obviously protective - he protects Serpine almost the entire time in Leibniz, rows with China in defence of his freedom, and (however reluctantly) steps up to help him settle in Roarhaven. But Serpine is territorial, and he can be surprisingly proactive about it. If Skug comes home injured, he can always tell - no matter how much he tries to hide it - because he's seen Skug at his very worst, he knows what 'trying to mask pain' looks like in the set of that jaw and the grit in that voice. He doesn't like anyone else playing with his toys, so sometimes he'll get very angry and lash out at whoever damaged Skug in the first place.

(He also tends to hover at the clinic like a particularly irritating bad smell. He insists it's because he just finds Skug's pain amusing. He's not concerned. Not in the slightest. He doesn't care at all. No, he will not go home.)

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

They first hook up a few months after returning from Leibniz, but it's a half-dressed up-against-a-wall sort of thing and neither of them sticks around for pillow talk. They don't actually share a bed - as in, fall asleep together - until at least a year later. Technically, the first time they fall asleep together, they're on a stakeout and Serpine dozes off on Skug's shoulder, then wakes up with a cricked neck.

if they argue about anything

Literally everything, 90% of their interactions are arguing. Bickering and snark is the only way they know how to communicate.

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. )

Serpine loves leaving marks and doesn't mind getting them, either. He's territorial and has an exhibitionist streak, so he likes everyone knowing who he belongs to, and he's deeply thirsty over the idea of everyone knowing Skug belongs to him.

Unfortunately, Skug is not easy to leave marks on. Any hickies he gives the facade will disappear as soon as Skug turns it off. Some of his scars still show, though - the ones that scored his bones - so at least there's that.

who steals whose clothes and how often

They're not too different in size, so they could probably both get away with it, but everything Skug owns was tailored for him and Nef is narrower in the shoulders, so Skug's shirts don't look quite right on him. That doesn't stop him borrowing a couple to wear around the house, though. He has no stored wealth in this dimension, so he's wearing off the rack until he can get his feet under him again, and Skug's shirts are all obnoxiously fine fabric. It would be silly not to steal a few.

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? )

They're not that cuddly. They do have occasional moments of softness, but it's more likely to be, like. A shoulder bump. Fixing each other's shirt collar. Tending an injury with a minimum of mockery. They do a fair bit of this when no one's watching, though.

what their favourite nonsexual activity is

Bickering.

They also both like working cases. The Sanctuary won't officially hire Serpine because he is who he is, but when Skug hits a dead end in a case or has something that's really frustrating him, they'll go over it together. 400 years of enmity aside, their minds work in similar ways, and they're both very good at that sort of thing - if they hadn't met on opposite sides of the battlefield, they probably would have gotten along very well.

how long they stay mad at each other

They've never actually not been mad at each other. They're just all each other has left because all their friends are dead.

what their usual coffee / tea orders are

Initially, both black - maximum stimulants for Skug, maximum edginess for Serpine. But then he discovers Starbucks, and all the fancy things mortals are doing with coffee these days, and starts branching out into what Skug calls "frilly froufrou nonsense". After that his drinks are like 95% sugar and syrup.

if they ever split up and / or get back together

They never officially split up. This is mostly because neither of them will admit being together in the first place. They absolutely go through phases of being far more enemies than fuckbuddies, and they know how to push each other's buttons and hurt each other like no one else. This ship is comedic and incredibly toxic in turns.

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

They don't live together. Serpine has no idea where Skug lives, and Skug wants to keep it that way. Serpine's flat is technically student accommodation - he just needed somewhere the landlord was too young to remember him from the war - so when Skug crashes there it's usually cramped and noisy and there's a revolving door of neighbours knocking on to ask to borrow some milk/loo roll/"hey, you're old, help me with my history thesis?"/"Are you coming out tonight?"

All Serpine's neighbours think he's a sex worker - to them, he seems to have a different well-dressed sugar daddy staying over every week. They keep trying to set him up an OnlyFans. Skug finds all this very amusing.

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like

Christmas was banned in Leibniz (as a religious holiday of a banned religion) so Nef hasn't celebrated since he converted in his teens, but he gets into it, because it's an excuse for a party and nobody is policing him. Skug is his usual grinchy grouchy self. Nef also celebrates several holidays that Skug isn't familiar with that were commonplace in Leibniz, but are only observed by strict Faceless worshippers in Roarhaven.

what their names are in each other’s phones

Skug is an old man about his contacts, so Nef is just "Nefarian Serpine".

Serpine, on the other hand, has recently discovered emojis, so Skug is "💀🍆".

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first

Who falls asleep first varies; Serpine is a night owl and likes to go to bed in the early hours of the morning, but Skug has some really fucked up working hours, so a lot of the time he's awake long after even the night owls have gone to bed. But it's always Skug who wakes up first - Serpine is Absolutely Not a morning person. He fits right in with the students in his building who have to be coaxed from under the quilt by the smell of frying bacon.

Skug, because he enjoys the odd opportunity to be an asshole, will sometimes wake him with a cup of coffee, and sometimes by holding a flame up to the fire alarm. Variety is the spice of life, Nefarian, didn't anyone ever tell you that?

who’s the big spoon / little spoon

Cuddling is fairly new to Serpine. He's always enjoyed sex, but he has a solid tendency to jump into bed with the enemy - as shown by his laundry list of Resistance conquests - so he's never really gone for relationships where cuddling is a thing. He's more into the "forbidden passion" sort of dynamic.

Skug is a cuddler, but not so much in this particular relationship, for obvious and understandable reasons. Serpine does figure out though that he can burrow under Skug's arm while he's half-asleep or in a postcoital fugue state and Skug will just sort of let him, so he's probably the little spoon.

who hogs the bathroom

Both of them.

Serpine lives in a tiny one bed flat in a student building. His bathroom is miniscule. And when Skug stays over, they're both crammed in there first thing, Serpine trying to shave and do his hair and Skug elbowing him out of the way to cycle through facades until he finds one that's handsome enough to leave the house in. They bicker horrendously the entire time. It's a logistical nightmare.

who kills the spiders / takes them outside

Nef kills them. Not because he knows Skug's not a fan, but because he's not allowed to torment humans anymore, so. Last time he checked, killing spiders wasn't an arrestable offence, Skulduggery, stop looking at him like that.

#skulduggery pleasant #sp headcanons #skulpine #this ship is GARBAGE but listen toxic ships are my jam #long post #yeets my crackships into the tag

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justcourttee · 4 years ago

Note

Okay that "Love,Right?" oneshot was wonderful but now you've got me obsessed with wondering how all the boys would fight for Mari's attention and all trying to date her omg

On an off note, I hope this came out alright. I really wanted to answer your ask but I’m running on low fumes rn. Loved thinking about this too though! I would love to read a more thought out fic, but I have to imagine it would go something like this

I could totally imagine like them all being relatively close in age. Like let’s say,

Dick 23

Jason 21

Tim 20

Mari 18

Damian 17

And Mari is almost done with her last year of lycee so she is in uber done mode until the batboys show up in Paris conveniently at the same time that the Wayne boys show up to scout out a potential new business partner.

She first meets Dick at the gymnasium that Chloe’s father had built for her when she went through a gymnastics phase but soon opened it to the public after she had moved on to whatever interested her next. Marinette is there to practice swinging mid-air to move faster in battle and what better way to do that than over a safety net 40 feet in the air?

Anywho, Dick is just arriving to blow off some steam after a particularly long day of negotiating. Honestly, if it wasn’t for the Hawkmoth mission and the need for a cover, he would’ve abandoned Tim ages ago. He finished locking up his stuff and when he moves into the acrobat section that is always empty, he isn’t sure whether to be impressed or disappointed that someone is there first. She looked nervous as she finished tying her hair into a high ponytail, her eyes calculating as if she was debating if she could make the first jump.

He wants to tell her that there is an easier way to mount, but his curiosity gets the better of him. With one last look, she closes her eyes, inhaling deeply. Without warning, she takes off down the short walkway launching her whole body into the air. Dick is sure she’s going to fall, but at the last minute she reaches out, her hand grasping the bar as she uses her momentum to flip upward, landing gracefully on top of the swinging trapeze.

Dick couldn’t help his cheers. Her eyes widened as she realized someone else was watching her and in what felt like slow motion, she lost her balance and fell onto the net below. Dick rushes over to make sure she’s okay, apologizing a million times a minute. They introduce each other and it’s like an instant connection. They spend the rest of the afternoon trying new techniques and helping each other improve their own techniques.

When Dick returns to the hotel that night, he can’t help the fact that her first swing was stuck on replay in his mind. The next day, he rushes over to the gym only to find her there again. This time, he’s determined to get her number, and surprisingly (to him) he succeeds. They spend the night trading funny memes and tiktoks. After a couple of weeks, Dick decides to try and ask her on a date. They were already close friends, I mean she trusted him enough not to drop her from forty feet in the air, that meant she trusted him right?

He shows up with a giant bouquet of roses only to receive a text message that she couldn’t make it that day. While it was a setback, it didn’t mean he was going to give up. He would show up with a bouquet of roses every day until she was there to receive them. And only then would he ask her on a date, because I can totally believe that he wouldn’t want to do it over text. It’s in-person or not at all.

The second Wayne she meets is Jason.

Muggings in Paris weren’t common with Ladybug and Chat Noir around, but it seemed to be Marinette’s lucky day as some guy just decided that a high school girl had enough money in her little purse to steal. As he backed her down an alleyway, a small hand knife pointed at her, Marinette was considering her options.

She could always try to run. After all, the guy was big and bulky, it would be hard for him to keep up with her and she doubted he wanted her bag enough to actually put up a fight. Just as she was eyeing an opening, a small sound echoed through the alleyway, one she was quite familiar with. The guy’s face looked mortified as he turned slowly to face his attacker.

The man said something in a hushed tone to the guy that Marinette couldn’t quite make out. Whatever it was though, it was enough for her would-be assailant to book it out of the alleyway without a glance back. Assessing her newest threat, Marinette decided that this guy was more punk than thug. She was safe for now.

He asked her if she was okay and if she needed anything as he adjusted his gun back into his waistband. Marinette was fine, but she was curious as to how he smuggled a gun into France.

“Ah. My American accent give me away Princess?”

His french was flawless, but it was clear that he wasn’t from the area. He joked that his adopted father was rich enough for the national security to look past it. At least, she was pretty sure he was joking.

He asks if they can grab something to eat, just because a pretty girl like her shouldn’t go hungry. Marinette is tempted to decline, but her curiosity gets the better of her. They end up going to a small diner near her parent’s bakery where they spend the night flirting shamelessly, both tinging their compliments with enough sarcasm and insults that the people around them couldn’t tell if they were together or if they were related.

Exchanging numbers, the two continued to meet up for weekly dinners at that same diner as they bond over hating people and insulting/admiring each other. When Jason finally realizes his flirting may have shifted from mocking to an actual crush, he's conflicted. It’s just a couple months, at most a year in Paris, but would that really be a reason not to try? He starts bringing her small gifts to the dinners, starting out small like her favorite dessert or small rocks that reminded him of her, but he soon gets more elaborate like bringing her his favorite books to borrow and throwing in a new set of threads for her sewing machine.

He hopes that when she looks at the small gifts that she’ll start associating him with the things that make her happy and just maybe, she’ll fall for him too.

I think you guys already know where Tim is going but I have to do this

Marinette frequents a small coffee shop near the hotel that the Wayne Boys are staying in. She would just drink the coffee that her parents serve in the bakery, but they refused to let her load up her drinks with enough caffeine to get through her day.

She always shows up at 7:00a, after all, she’s gotten better at this punctuality thing over the years. The owners already expect her at this point and already have her drink ready before she even steps foot through the door.

One morning, one of the owners ask her to deliver a coffee to the young man that fell asleep at one of their tables.

“He’s the first person I’ve met whose order rivals yours Ms. Dupain-Cheng.”

Marinette is impressed as she inhales the strong black coffee wafting from the mug. He definitely amped it up with two expresso shots and maybe a pump of hazelnut? If he could taste it over the bitterness of the expresso, she would be impressed.

As she sat the cup down on the table, she slid into the booth in front of him, patiently waiting for him to stir. Watching his soft exhales, Marinette felt at peace. She had never seen someone sleep so softly without moving a muscle. As quietly as she could, she brought out her sketchbook. She got about halfway through his frame when his soft breathing stopped.

Her eyes snapped up to find his blue ones studying her cautiously. Of course, she mutters out apologizes at a million miles a minute, trying to explain that she needed practice for her living art class and that she was just dropping off his coffee and she was so sorry for drawing him without his permission. As she finally trails off, Marinette is more confused than ever. She thought he was awake, his eyes studying her, but now she wasn’t so confident. She was pretty sure he was still half asleep, assuming she was some sort of hallucination.

He reached out, draining his cup of coffee without coming up for a single breath.

“I didn’t think I was this sleep-deprived. Please beautiful sleep-induced entity, draw me if you must.”

Marinette bites her lip trying not to laugh as he tiredly pulls out a laptop, typing away at seemingly nothing.

The next day, Marinette finds him in his same spot, already two empty mugs occupying the table. As she orders, she’s sure to grab an extra one for him before joining him once more. This time, Tim is the one to apologize as he realizes finally that she is a real girl and not a hallucination.

Marinette laughs it off and the briefly chat about their lives. As Marinette gets up to leave for her morning classes, she promises to meet him for coffee the next morning. Surely enough, as she walks through the door, he’s already at their booth. He waves her over, motioning to the coffee mug holding her go-to order. They come to an agreement, he allows her to draw him for practice, she offers him the occasional advice. There is sometimes small talk, but it’s mostly just full of comfort that they found in each other’s presence.

After weeks, Tim finally decides that he wants to get to know this beautiful coffee angel. He starts by asking her to meet at a bakery that he had been dying to try. As he arrives at the bakery, Marinette sheepishly admits that it was her parent’s bakery. Tim feigns ignorance, but that smirk he gives her makes her reconsider the innocent sleep-deprived man she had met weeks earlier. From now on, he has breakfast with the Dupain-Cheng family every morning. After all, your in-laws have to like you first before you can try anything else, right?

Finally, we have Damian.

They meet in the living art class. He had already taken something similar at Gotham Academy, but he was curious to see the French side of something he cherished so dearly.

At first, he hates her. She reminds him of a mixture between Dick and Tim and in all honesty, he only volunteered to pretend to be a foreign exchange student to spend the majority of the day away from his brothers.

He slowly begins to change his mind though as he is partnered with her for a partner draw project. The teacher forces them to spend all of class drawing each other how they feel the world should see their partner. It involved a lot of sharing and as she became more confident in him, he slowly felt himself opening up to this strange girl as well.

It was going fine until one day, two of her old classmates entered the classroom, trying to pick a fight with Damian. He remembered one of them, yes the sausage haired girl, her name was Lily perhaps? She tried to ask him out and he turned her down, hard. Now here she was, crying the fakest tears he had ever seen as some ombre haired woman was chewing him out.

He was fine going on ignoring them, but then the ombre haired woman reached out for his notebook, tearing it from his grasps. She glanced over it for a second before raising it above her head and slamming it into the ground. She lifted her foot to stomp on it, but she never had a chance to finish. Before Damian had even moved a muscle, Marinette was standing above her, a murderous look in her eyes. The sausage haired woman helped the girl to her feet as they retreated quickly, both of their faces pale as they sent empty threats in Marinette’s direction.

With a sigh, Marinette picked up his notebook, dusting it off gently before handing it back to him, apologizing for her ex-classmates. He wanted to let her know that he didn’t need her to look out for him, that he could handle it, but his mind flashed to the look in her eyes. If anything, his interest was now piqued by the girl.

As the project came to an end, the moment of truth had finally come. Damian showed Marinette her portrait. He had drawn her as mother nature, warm and protective of her children and cold to anyone that threatened them. He would be lying if the small blush on her face didn’t boost his pride. When she showed Damian his portrait, he couldn’t help but let his jaw drop, even slightly.

He looked like a medieval knight, posing on the defense, a slight trickle of what looked like blood dripping out the corner of his mouth.

“I’m sorry, please don’t think it’s weird. It’s just the more you talked, and so passionately too about how you wanted to protect everything dear to you from your family to your pets, I couldn’t help but get swept away in this idea that you were some gallant knight-”

He cut her off with a single look as his face broke into a grin. He loved it. Everyone always described him as a demon or a baby bird, but a gallant knight, it was certainly a first.

That night at the hotel, he would search google for the best ways to ask out a girl. After all, he sure as hell wasn’t asking his brothers.

Permanent Tag List:

@ash-amg @rebecarojas07 @heaven428 @long-lost-peace @thequeenofpotatoeunicornss @moongoddesskiana @nach0ava @iamablinkmarvelarmy @seraphkitty @clumsy-owl-4178 @pawsitivelymiraculous @mialuvscats @leagrey @smolplantmum @animegirlweeb @glitterflowercat

#dickinette #jasonette #timinette #daminette #maribat

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wingsofkpop · 4 years ago

Text

Hiraeth - I.IX: Bloodborne

pairing(s): Hybrid!Im Jaebeom x Reader, Witch!Mark Tuan x Reader, Werewolf!Jackson Wang x Reader, Vampire!Park Jinyoung x Reader, Supernatural!Got7 x Reader

genre: Supernatural!AU, Dark Magic!AU, heavy Angst, eventual Smut

warnings: Mature language, mentions of death and murder, violence, explicit descriptions of fighting, blood and gore, some satanic themes, mentions of trauma, etc.

word count: 6,5k

synopsis: How far are you willing to go to find out the truth about Moon Dye Bay?…

chapter directory

“—so once Youngjae channels enough power from the blood moon tonight, he’ll be able to lower the veil between the Other Side and the physical plane long enough to resurrect your spirit into a mortal body.” You explain, glancing over your notes at the unusually quiet figure sitting on your bed. Something about his expression seems distant—almost sorrowful.

After your return from the hospital, and after the long chat with your roommate convincing her that your absence all night was due to a last minute work emergency, a certain ghost phased into your bedroom. You wouldn’t allow yourself to be this concerned, but during his visits, Jackson usually never shuts up. If you were all alone with no one to talk to, you probably wouldn’t either.

You lower your notebook and shake your head, “You haven’t said one word since you showed up. What’s wrong?”

Jackson purses his lips, as if nervous to relay the thoughts swirling through his mind. Another brief moment of silence passes before he finally murmurs, “It’s the witches. They’re starting to get suspicious again… I don’t know how long I have before they figure out I’ve been crossing over to this plane.”

“Then we’ll just have to bring you back before they find out.” You grab your phone from your desk, checking through your notifications to see if a certain siphoner has yet responded to your dozens of texts and calls. No dice.

You haven’t been able to reach Youngjae since yesterday morning, which is odd considering the guy is the type to respond within three seconds of receiving a message. It would be one thing if he let you know that he’s busy, but it’s complete radio silence. It’s not like Youngjae at all.

“You’re worried about something.”

Your eyes dartup at Jackson’s observation, discovering his concerned gaze focused on you.

“It’s Youngjae.” You sigh, “I haven’t heard from him, but I’m sure he’s just busy brewing potions or something.” You expect to earn at least a chuckle from the ghost, but his silence remains along with the blank expression along his face. His same distant demeanor also lingers, and this time, your concern grows to panic. “What is it, Jackson? What’s going on?”

“I didn’t want to say anything cause I was sure it was all in my head, but I feel that something is… weird.”

“Weird?”

“It’s hard to explain.” He continues, “But as a ghost, I can feel things around me… like right now, the universe just seems off—” His voice cuts out as he frantically shakes his head, “Anyway, I just want you to be careful. Mark used to tell me that disrupting the balance of nature is like opening Pandora’s box.”

“Yeah. We will be doing none of that.” You set your phone down before crossing the room to kneel in front of Jackson. A grin lifts to your lips as you hum to the ghost, “So what do you feel when you’re around me?...”

Jackson raises an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”

“You said you feel things around you… Do you feel anything special when you’re with me?”

You’re surprised at the eagerness that swells in your chest as he takes his time to think over your question. The inquiry was supposed to be a joke to lighten the mood, but you’re actually curious about your companion’s ghastly perceptions. After maybe a minute or two, Jackson sends you a small smile:

“I feel… light.”

“Light? What is that supposed to mean?”

“You have this aura around you.” Jackson affirms, mindlessly reaching forward thumb at your cheek. You obviously can’t feel his touch, but something in your gut tells you that if you could, you would feel nothing but warmth. “I feel powerful when I’m with you…”

“Is that a good thing?”

He grins, “I think so.”

You continue to stare at one another for a moment, almost attempting to read the depths in each other’s eyes. It’s not until a harsh knock resonates from the front door do you finally break the gaze, offering Jackson a final hum, “I’ll bring you back as soon as I can. I promise.”

Jackson nods, “I know you will. But like I said, please be careful.”

“I will. See you soon.” You wait for Jackson to disappear completely before exiting your bedroom, cursing Sana for leaving you to deal with whoever is incessantly banging on your door. It’s probably the old lady from across the hall wanting to borrow another cup of sugar. You roll your eyes at the thought and open the door, ready to politely decline your neighbor’s request.

Your words die on your tongue—definitely not the old lady from across the hall.

“Mark? What are you—?”

“What? Not expecting to see me?” Mark’s hostile growl takes you by surprise, as does the furious expression etched along his features. “That’s not surprising since you’ve been ignoring me.”

“I’ve been busy.”

“Oh. I’m sure.”

You cross your arms over your chest. “What the hell is your problem?”

“You wanna know what my problem is?” Mark takes a step closer to you before pointing a finger in your direction, “The fact that you not only lie to me, but you go behind my back and then deliberately avoid me for days on end.”

“What are you even talking about, Mark?”

“I’m talking about you and Youngjae playing God and resurrecting Jackson.”

Your muscles instantly freeze, as if Mark had taken a tub of ice water and thrown it over your head. The annoyance inside your chest shifts to guilt, and your once cold features cannot help but soften.

You shake your head, “Mark, I—”

“Do you know how dangerous it is to bring someone back from the dead, (Y/N)?” Mark lowers his voice, but his tone remains as frigid as his gaze. “Do you know the consequences that happen when you fuck with the balance of nature?”

“I get that, but—it’s complicated, Mark… There’s things you don’t understand—”

“I don’t understand!?” He scoffs, “Last I checked, I’m the goddamn witch here, (Y/N)! You know nothing about magic and its sacrifice!”

“Maybe not, but I do know that there is a chance I could bring Jackson back!” You shake your head again, “Please, just give me a chance to explain—”

“No. Because it’s not fucking happening.” Mark interrupts, furiously shaking his own head. “I forbid you to do this.”

It’s like a switch goes off in your mind. Your guilt immediately transforms, but this time, it configures into rage:

“You forbid me!? Who the flying fuck do you think you are!?”

“I won’t sit back and allow you to get yourself killed—!”

“And last I checked, you don’t have the right to control what I do and the decisions I make!” You seethe, stepping further back into your apartment. “This is my choice. I’m resurrecting Jackson whether you like it or not.”

“Fine! Get yourself fucking killed for all I care!” The witch raises his hands in mock surrender. “At least then I won’t have to deal with your reckless, moronic ass!”

“Fuck you, Mark.” You don’t allow the witch to say anything further and slam the door in his face. Your chest remains unbearably heavy, both physically and mentally, but you ignore the sweltering emotions and begin to traverse around the apartment, gathering your bag and other assorted belongings.

A confused and rather concerned Sana emerges from her bedroom a few seconds later. “Are you okay? What was with all that yelling?”

“Don’t worry about it,” You huff, shoving your arms through the sleeves of your jacket. “Just Mark being a douchebag, as per usual.”

“Where are you going?”

“To find Youngjae.”

“Isn’t it kind of late?”

“I’m an adult, Sana.” You snap before throwing your bag over your shoulder. “Don’t wait up for me.”

Similar to Mark, you don’t allow Sana the chance to question you further and sprint out the front door, praying that Youngjae will be up to bringing Jackson back in the next few hours.

☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

Mark has never exercised the greatest control over his emotions. It first began when he was twelve, after his dad walked out on his mom. He found himself sobbing his eyes out some days, and beating the shit out of other kids on others. His mood ranged from intense rage to extreme depression. There was no in between.

In an effort to help, his mom enrolled him in a program designed to teach teens how to handle their emotions. But to no one’s surprise, the therapy didn’t do shit and Mark continued to initiate fights and cry himself to sleep most nights. He never understood why he felt this way—he still doesn’t, to be honest. His dad and him were never close, nor did he ever really care about his sudden departure. Maybe he was just an angry kid with depression. Maybe it was something else.

It wasn’t until his mom was killed did Mark begin to pull his life together, which also happened to be around the same time he met the too-friendly, homeschooled kid with an ego the size of Jupiter, Jackson Wang. Sure, the two of them butted heads every so often, but with Jackson being a werewolf, Mark learned the importance of managing the chaos within. ‘Emotion is like a loaded gun,’ he remembers Jackson once said, ‘If you let yourself pull the trigger without first aiming down sights, then you risk sinking a bullet into someone you love.’ Those words remain with him—remind him what means to stay in control.

But when it involves the people he loves, Mark can’t always regulate the ticking bomb counting down in his soul.

An ache settles in his chest as he recalls the passionate fire in your gaze. There’s always been some parts of you that reminds Mark of his past friend, specifically your stubbornness and inability to think before you act. He’s never found himself hating those parts of you until now—and he shouldn’t, Mark knows that, but he’s so fucking angry and so fucking scared of losing yet another one of the most important people in his life.

He’s experienced his fair share of loss, but losing you… It would break him. Completely.

Mark tries to push the intrusive thoughts from the forefront of his mind and focus on navigating his way through the dark maze of headstones and crumbling tombs. Right after you slammed your front door in his face, he received a text from Youngjae summoning him, Jisung and Lia to an emergency meeting at the edge of the cemetery. He’s still mad at the siphoner for assisting with your reckless scheme, but he won’t allow his pettiness to interfere with the safety of the coven.

A sigh falls from his lips—he does regret ever saying those ending words to you though… because what if they’re the last ones you hear from him.

‘I’m so sorry, Jackson…’

Mark’s misery is forgotten when he notices a group of people up ahead. He recognizes Lia, Jisung and Youngjae flocked together inside a chalk-white circle surrounded by lit torches. For a moment, Mark wonders if they’re in the middle of performing some type of seance, but his curiosity dwindles into confusion when he grows aware of the panic present in each set of their features.

He breaks into a sprint to cover more distance, approaching the strangely placed trio in no time. At the sight of him, Lia immediately bursts into tears, furthering the anxiety bubbling at the back of his throat.

“What the hell is going on!?”

“Hyung! You have to get out of here right now!” Mark notices the swollen, angry flesh of Youngjae’s bottom lip as he speaks, along with the ugly bruise underneath his left eye.

“What happened?” He ignores the siphoner’s warnings, attempting to reach inside the circle and grab Lia’s arm. However, his hand is met with resistance—a boundary spell. “Who did this to you?”

Lia sobs, “Just go, Mark! Before he hurts you!”

“Before who hurts me!? What are you—” His demands die in his throat as another figure appears from behind a large, marble gravestone. He immediately recognizes the newcomer, which sends even more confusion through his veins. “Seo Changbin? What the hell is this?”

“It’s an emergency meeting, hyung.” Mark feels his entire body freeze when the familiar, conniving voice enters his ears. “You had me a little worried… I almost thought you wouldn’t show up.”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” Mark whirls around to face a smirking Minho cockily leaning against the wall of an empty tomb. “What kind of game do you think you’re playing, Minho?”

The younger witch shrugs before pushing off the wall to pace around the area. As he draws closer and closer, Mark can spy an ancient, navy blue ring sitting heavily on his forefinger. He’s never seen any piece of jewelry like it before, but something in his gut told him it wasn’t just a simple ring—and that he’s definitely in some kind of trouble.

“Mind explaining to me what we’re doing here? Or are you just going to continue pacing around the place like a cocky bastard?”

“Tonight is a special night, hyung… You wanna know why?” He watches Minho point to the night sky, “In just a few minutes, the moon will drift into the Earth’s shadow and the light of the sun will reflect across the moon’s surface, thus causing a blood moon… It’s actually pretty cool—”

“For Christsake, Minho—get to the goddamn point.”

“You know, for years I had to deal with all your bullshit excuses and justifications of putting our coven in danger—it was only a matter of time until one of us ended up dead, don’t you think?”

A bitter memory of Nayeon’s corpse resurfaces, but Mark remains silent.

“Everyone was too fucking blind, but I saw right through you.” Mark doesn’t move a muscle when Minho suddenly approaches, crowding his space until his nose is mere inches from brushing his own. The younger witch’s harsh glare bleeds into his soul as he continues, “You’re a poor fucking excuse for a leader, hyung—a leader who can’t even protect his own people.”

“And you think you can do better, huh?” Mark growls, glaring his own daggers into Minho��s gaze. “You have no fucking clue what it takes to run this coven… Admit it, you’re just pissed they chose me over you.”

“And look where that got them.”

“You need to cut out whatever petty bullshit this is and let Youngjae, Jisung and Lia go.” Mark murmurs, “Whatever problems you have are with me, so let’s just talk it out, okay?”

“Oh, Mark-hyung…” Minho’s gaze is unwavering from his own as he lifts a hand to rest on Mark’s shoulder. It’s a second too late that Mark realizes it is the same hand in which holds the mysterious ring:

“I’m over talking it out.”

Youngjae’s screams and Lia’s sobs echo in his ears along with the words that spill from Minho’s lips—they’re foreign, but Mark recognizes the spell right away. He tries to squirm and fight against the perpetrator’s grip, but another pair of hands keep his body in place—Changbin.

Bit by bit, Mark feels the buzz of his magic lift from his veins like a flock of doves. His limbs grow weak and his head fuzzy. Soon enough, his own knees no longer bear the strength to hold his weight. Once both Minho and Changbin release him, Mark collapses to the ground—empty and unable to rise.

“What did you do to him!?” Mark hears Jisung’s voice for the first time, although his brain is not fully able to comprehend the inquiry.

“I took his magic. He won’t be needing it anymore.”

Mark manages to find enough strength to reposition his body in a way that allows him to watch both Minho and Changbin approach a makeshift altar composed of an old, concrete coffin. Through the blur of his vision, he catches the witch stirring some kind of crimson mixture—likely blood. Minho looks to the moon, which is slowly brightening to a shade of maroon, before resting his gaze on his companion:

“It’s time.” He offers the mixture to Changbin, “Once you drink this, I can begin the transformation.”

“And you’re sure this spell will give me everything I need to take down the Primes?”

“One hundred percent.”

Take down the Primes?… Fucking hell.

“Minho! Don’t do this!” Mark can’t make out his own voice between the ringing of his ears and the beating of his heart, but he can only hope they’re audible enough for his audience. “The transformation—it won’t work!”

Youngjae shakes his head. “I don’t understand… What are you talking about, hyung?”

“He’s going to try to recreate the spell I used on Jackson on Changbin.” With a huff and a puff, Mark pushes himself to his hands and knees. He attempts to crawl forward, but the spinning of his head sends his body sprawling along the ground once again. He abandons any more thoughts of movement and speaks to Minho directly, “It will kill him—do you understand me!? You can’t—”

“You failed because you couldn’t draw enough power to complete the transformation.” Minho doesn’t even bother to look in his direction, “It will work—I know it will.”

Understanding there’s no possible way to convince the witch, Mark looks to the werewolf instead, “I’m warning you, Changbin! If you go through with this, you will die!”

“Don’t listen to him. Just drink the blood.”

“No! For fucksake, this is suicide!”

“Think of Jackson.” Minho murmurs to a torn Changbin, reaching across the altar to place a supportive hand on his shoulder. “Do it for him.”

“Changbin, don’t—!”

Mark watches in horror as Changbin throws back the mixture and downs its entirety in two gulps. His heart shatters like the glass vial the werewolf launches to the ground. He peers to his left, discovering the same shocked expressions across Youngjae, Jisung and Lia’s faces, and shakes his head in defeat as Lia begins to sob again.

“Filia maximo… Filia maximo… Morsus, morsus—” The wind begins to screech as Minho chants, tearing at Mark’s hair and nudging at his clothes, as if pleading for him to stop the spell. But there’s nothing he can do. For once, Mark is powerless. “—morsus… Advenio donec duo est revertus mors…” With a loud scream, Changbin collapses to the earth. He squirms and writhes in pain underneath the flaming light of the moon—and Mark can’t help but attempt to block out the snaps of his cracking bones.

The scene seems to last for hours until Changbin eventually grows silent. Mark takes the time to catch his breath, unable to control his lungs over the anxiety, fear and nausea lurking through his veins. He wants to look away from the still werewolf, but his gaze is as frozen as the rest of his body.

His eyes burn with tears of rage—Changbin is dead. Another person died because of his own fucking stupidity. Mark should have known this would happen again. He should have stopped it. He should have—

His thoughts disappear as Changbin suddenly gasps for air. For a moment, he claws at the earth as if attempting to ground himself, before he finally, albeit shakily, climbs to his feet. Minho cautiously approaches the wolf, peering down at the shorter male with a gaze full of concern.

“How do you feel?...”

“I feel…” Changbin flexes his fingers again, before closing them into tight fists. The moonlight illuminates the crimson glow of his irises and the sharpness of his long, black fangs as he faces the witch—a malicious smirk spreading along his lips as he chuckles, “I feel like kicking some ancient Prime ass.”

Mark can’t find the strength to watch anymore and allows his head to lower to the earth. Just before his eyes flutter shut, he swears he spots the movement of shadows from behind a nearby headstone. But before he can confirm his suspicions, his head takes one final spin and the world grows dark.

☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

June 13th, 1769 — As much as I enjoy the atmosphere of Paris, I believe it is time to progress onto another part of the world. Some of the townsfolk are beginning to grow suspicious, considering I appear twenty years younger than my supposed age. Nevertheless, I will not mind a new start elsewhere. Jaebeom, on the other hand, will be a terror to convince. As he claimed last time I brought the idea to light, ‘There will never be a place more beautiful than Paris.’

But I know he is not through playing with his newest toy—Tzuyu.

I set sail for the newlands tomorrow at sunrise. Whether my brother decides to accompany me or not is solely his preference. It would be pleasant to spend some time apart—to spend some time in peace—but I know, with many complaints and reluctance, Jaebeom will board the ship tomorrow. Wherever I traverse, he follows, and vice versa. We are family, after all.

I will miss Notre Dame the most. I have grown used to visiting the Cathedral and repenting my wrongdoings to the high priest. Of course, I am forced to erase his memory of our talks each time, but it is nice to confess. It lifts a weight off of the shoulders, takes away a small portion of the guilt. If there is a god, he would never allow a creature like me to walk amongst his heavens—but at least I can salvage the lingering hope left inside of my soul. Speaking of hope, I thought I saw a woman that resembled Irene during my daily visit to the church. I find it amusing that after all these years, my heart continues to yearn for her presence. She was truly special—I wonder if she ever thought the same of me.

I’ve heard some of the sailors refer to a shore in the newland that has yet to be claimed. It may be the perfect location for Jaebeom and I to start anew. I can only hope it is as beautiful as people say. Maybe I will construct a place of worship as stunning as the Cathedral.

Isn’t that ironic?... A vampire who believes in faith.

Jinyoung finishes the entry with a sigh, welcoming the nostalgia that spreads through his thoughts like an old friend. It seems just yesterday that he recorded his first thoughts about the land that would become Moon Dye Bay. He shakes his head, carefully setting the old journal back on the bookshelf.

He never did build that church.

“Reminiscing again, brother?” The moment is ruined when a certain hybrid’s snicker reaches his ears. Jinyoung rolls his eyes as Jaebeom takes residence beside him, dragging his fingers along the spines of Jinyoung’s other diaries. “We did have some great times back in the 18th century… Remember our battles during the French Revolution? I rather enjoyed King Louis and Marie Antoinette’s executions.”

“You enjoy anything that involves bloodshed.”

“Don’t be so resentful, Jinyoungie. It’s not my fault that the queen had you in her interests.”

Jinyoung shakes his head before retreating to his desk to fix himself a drink. “The woman was as shallow as a poor soul’s ego. She was taken with any man who’d pay her the time of day. It was a miracle her death came as quickly as it did.”

“Careful there. You sound like me.”

Jinyoung deliberately chooses not to respond to Jaebeom’s comment and proceeds to pour two glasses of bourbon. He ignores his companion’s wide smirk as he hands him one of the drinks. Both the vampire and the hybrid simultaneously take a sip, peering at one another over the rims of their cups. Jaebeom is the first to break the silence with a pleased inhale and a hum:

“You returned pretty late last night. I hope you used protection during your time with (Y/N).”

“Mind your tongue, hyung.” Jinyoung warns, “I brought (Y/N) to the hospital after the attack—I trust you took care of Tzuyu?”

Jaebeom smirks. “Of course. She won’t be alive long enough to target your newest Maria Antonia again.”

About to inhale another sip of his bourbon, Jinyoung pauses to mull over the answer. He lowers his glass to his side before delivering Jaebeom a confused expression and a murmured inquiry, “What do you mean she won’t be alive?”

“Tzuyu and I got into an argument and, well, she pissed me off.” Jinyoung watches Jaebeom down the rest of his drink.

“Please tell me you didn’t bite her, Jaebeom-hyung.” He curses at the widening of Jaebeom’s smirk, slamming his glass back down on his desk with enough force to crack its exterior. “When I told you to deal with her, I didn’t mean condemn her to a fate of pain. If you wished to kill her, you could have at least been merciful and done it quick.”

“Last I checked, you said it yourself not to be kind.” Jinyoung follows Jaebeom as he pours himself another drink and collapses onto a brown, leather sofa. He tips his glass toward him with a smile before continuing, “I thought the punishment fit the crime, and we wouldn’t want to put helpless, human (Y/N) in danger again, would we?”

“You turned it off, didn’t you?” Jinyoung realizes, “Does holding onto your humanity wound you that badly, hyung? That you have no choice but to wish it away?”

“If I remember correctly, I’m not the only one that can’t hold onto their humanity… How many people did you kill in the ‘20s alone? One thousand? Maybe two?”

Jinyoung shakes his head, “I’m not that person anymore.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” In the blink of an eye, Jaebeom is in front of Jinyoung—his glass in pieces on the floor beside him. He leans in until Jinyoung can taste the alcohol of his breath on his tongue, then whispers darkly, “You can lie to yourself all you fucking want, Jinyoung. But deep down, you’ll always know what you are… let’s just hope (Y/N) never finds out, hm?”

At the mention of your name, Jinyoung’s anger expands. He suppresses the urge to take the table beside him and smash it over the hybrid’s head, and instead inhales a deep breath. Jaebeom is only trying to provoke him—and he refuses to be a pawn in his foolish games.

“You will remember what it was like to feel human again.” Jinyoung sighs, “For your sake, I hope your remembrance comes sooner rather than later.”

Jaebeom tsks, “Being human is overrated.”

“He said the same thing about fate.” Both Jinyoung and Jaebeom whirl around at the appearance of a third voice. Jinyoung feels his blood begin to boil at the sight of the familiar vampire in the doorway, once again, suppressing his desire to launch a piece of furniture in her direction. “Ironically, fate and humanity are a package deal.”

Jaebeom growls, “What the fuck are you doing here, Tzuyu?”

“I came to try and convince you to give me your blood.” Tzuyu coughs, and Jinyoung swears he can hear the rattle of her bones. “But judging by your attitude, that’s obviously going to be harder than I thought.”

“You have courage for showing your face again.” Jinyoung crosses his arms with a dark hum, “Especially so soon after you nearly killed (Y/N).”

“It wasn’t my intention to kill her. I just wanted to send a message.”

“Is that so?” With a malicious glare, Jinyoung steps forward and tilts his head toward the vampire, “And what kind of message was that?”

“For (Y/N) to stay away from Jaebeom.” Another violent cough wracks through Tzuyu’s thin form, causing a light stream of blood to splatter from her lips. She wipes her mouth with a ragged breath before continuing, “Look, I did it for her own good. We all know his track record at keeping humans alive.”

“You did it to protect her!?” Jaebeom cackles, “Wow! That’s fucking priceless!”

“Say what you will, you both know I’m right.” Tzuyu says, propping herself up against a nearby bookshelf. “It’s either she ends up dead or is turned into a vampire—then again, there’s not much of a difference between the two, is there?”

“I would die before I allow (Y/N) to come to any harm.”

“The only issue with that is you can’t die, Jinyoung.” Jinyoung doesn’t take his eyes off Tzuyu as she grabs a bottle of brandy from the top shelf. It takes her literal seconds to unscrew the cap and down a good portion of the container. She licks her lips and says, “I’m sorry I attacked (Y/N), okay? I went too far. I won’t do it again.”

“You think an apology is enough to save your life?” Jaebeom snickers before snatching the alcohol from the vampire, “Think again, sweetheart.”

“What do you want from me, Jaebeom? Does seeing me die a slow, painful death bring you joy?”

He shrugs, “No one mourns for the wicked.”

“Is he always this much of an asshole?”

Jinyoung chuckles, “Pretty much.”

“Great.” The vampire breathes out a sigh and cards her fingers through her hair. After a brief moment of silence, she directs her attention back to Jaebeom and pleads—her voice packed with desperation and fear, “What can I do to convince you to let me live? Please, Jaebeom… I don’t want to die.”

“You should have thought about that before you touched what I told you not to.” Jinyoung remains quiet as Jaebeom lifts a hand to grasp Tzuyu’s jaw. The dying visitor remains unphased, proceeding to glare at the hybrid with hateful, yet oddly sorrowful eyes. “I suggest you show yourself out before I end your life sooner.”

“You’re going to lose everything one of these days, Jaebeom.” Tzuyu shakes her head sadly, wiping away a layer of cold sweat from her forehead. “You’re going to lose everyone, even your brother, and you’re going to be alone. For an eternity.”

“Save the monologue.” Jaebeom waves dismissively, taking a sip of the brandy before returning it back to its shelf. “Petty isn’t a good look for you, baby.”

“Fuck you, Jaebeom.” Tzuyu goes to stomp out the door, but something—someone blocks her path. The atmosphere changes when Jinyoung notices your panicked form, practically gasping for air and cross-eyed, standing in the doorway. He immediately speeds to your side without hesitation, grasping your hands in hopes to ground you.

He stares into your eyes, “What is it, (Y/N)? What’s wrong?”

“You and Jaebeom have to get the hell out of here! Right now!”

Jaebeom shakes his head in confusion, “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I don’t know what exactly happened but Minho turned Changbin into this dark werewolf creature or-or something… I do know, however, that Changbin is on his way right now to kill you both.” Jinyoung steps back at the intensity of your explanation, unable to think of a response over the roar of his thoughts. Through his peripheral vision, he can spot the same type of speechlessness across Jaebeom’s face.

Not again…

“That’s stupid… You realize nothing can kill them, right?” Tzuyu scoffs.

“This is different.” You urge, “I saw Changbin—he wasn’t like anything I’ve ever seen before… The spell that Minho used, it was-was—”

“Dark magic.” Jinyoung finishes blankly, “The spell was dark magic.”

“Yes… which means you and Jaebeom need to leave town as fast as you possibly can before—”

“I don’t think anyone is going anywhere, (Y/N).” Jinyoung’s entire body grows stiff as a new voice echoes throughout the study. He cautiously turns his head, discovering none other than the young werewolf in question resting among the shadows. His eye also catches the open window a few inches away, and he curses himself for ever wanting to feel the nightly draft.

Changbin’s smirk is as dark as his eyes.

“What?... Not going to offer me a drink?”

☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☽ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

“(Y/N)! Get out of here! Now!” Jaebeom hears Jinyoung scream as the werewolf suddenly launches forward, knocking his brother into the bookshelf behind him. The wood completely splinters beneath the impact, raining down an array of books and planks on Jinyoung’s body. Changbin turns to Jaebeom next, but the hybrid is ready—and pissed off.

Jaebeom speeds toward the intruder and delivers a swift kick to the gut. Changbin flies back at the force, crashing back through the window with a loud growl. Sensing the urgency in time, Jaebeom quickly throws Jinyoung’s immobile body over his shoulder and urges both you and Tzuyu out the study door.

“Come on! We gotta go!”

“Jaebeom! What the hell is happening!?” He ignores Tzuyu’s fearful ask and proceeds to lug Jinyoung through the maze of hallways and down the staircase, you and the female vampire hot on his heels. He doesn’t know exactly where he’s going, but he makes his way to the parlor where he props Jinyoung up against a nearby chair before turning to you:

“You need to leave. I will deal with this.”

“No way. I’m not going anywhere.” Jaebeom curses your stubbornness inside his head, sending a stern glare in your direction. Your expression remains fixated, and he can’t help but wish your presence in any other situation but now.

“I can’t protect you right now—”

“And I can’t sit back and watch you get yourselves killed!” You shake your head indignantly, “I’m staying!”

“Fucking hell, (Y/N)! Get your ass out that door before I throw you out myself!”

“Jaebeom, watch out!” At Tzuyu’s cue, a wooden branch comes soaring in through the window. Jaebeom immediately throws himself against you, effectively forcing your body to the ground to dodge the projectile. He can feel your fear through the trembling of your limbs and hurried breaths, but it only brings him more determination to tear apart his attacker.

He shakes his head in surrender, “You stay on the fucking ground, understand? Don’t you fucking dare move a muscle.” He doesn’t bother to wait for a response and pushes himself back to his feet.

Tzuyu is huddled in a corner, and Jinyoung has yet to awaken from his crash landing back in the study. Jaebeom tries to focus his senses on detecting the werewolf, but he can’t seem to hear anything past the beating of his own heart. He carefully makes his way over to the incapacitated vampire, attempting to force him back to consciousness.

“Now is really not the time for a fucking nap, Jinyoung.” He hisses, “I swear to god, if I have to save your ass one more time—” Another wave of tree branches come crashing through the windows. Unfortunately, Jaebeom is not as quick and one catches his shoulder at just the right angle. He feels the wood sink into his flesh, painfully carving into his bones. With a low groan, Jaebeom manages to grab the makeshift stake and remove it in one hefty pull.

He tosses it away with a yell, “You gonna hide like a little bitch!? Or are you gonna come out and fight like a man!?”

“Be careful what you wish for, asshole!” Jaebeom turns just in time to discover the werewolf emerging from a shattered window. His blood boils when he notices the sadistic grin along the young kid’s face—he wonders how those teeth will look strewn across the parlor floor.

Changbin comes at him fast, much faster than Jaebeom could have predicted. He manages to dodge a set of jabs, but he’s not so lucky when Changbin lands a heavy hit against the side of his face. Pain erupts through his jaw as he collapses to the floor, but Jaebeom doesn’t have the chance to dwell over it and rolls out of the way just as the werewolf attempts to stomp his nose.

Jaebeom tries to speed away again, but like before, his counterpart is faster. Changbin manages to force him to the floor for a second time, pinning his body down with his own. Horrified, the hybrid watches as the werewolf’s eyes glow blood red and large, pitch black fangs emerge past his parted lips. Once again, he attempts to break free, but it’s no use—Changbin is too strong.

Just when he believes the wolf’s fangs are going to sink into his neck, another form knocks Changbin away. Jaebeom hurriedly props himself on his arms in time to watch Tzuyu deliver a series of hits and kicks to the perpetrator, eventually slamming his head into a nearby armoire. Taking advantage of the moment, she turns from Changbin to Jaebeom instead:

“Grab Jinyoung and (Y/N) and run!” She screams, “Get the hell of here!”

Unable to move, Jaebeom remains as Tzuyu attempts to fight off the wolf. But with the combination of his ultimate strength and her weakness from Jaebeom’s venom, her defeat is inevitable. He watches in terror as Changbin sinks his teeth into the vampire’s arm before yanking her head forward and effectively snapping her neck. Jaebeom feels his insides practically soar with rage when the attacker tosses a comatose Tzuyu across the room like a useless toy.

“I’ll kill you…” He sneers, allowing his own supernatural features to overtake his face. “I’ll fucking kill you…”

Changbin shakes his head with a smirk, “I’d like to see you try.”

Using the little agility he has left, Jaebeom grabs one of the branches and speeds toward the wolf. Due to Changbin’s movements, he misses his chest, but manages to stab the weapon in his stomach. Changbin releases a pained groan, allowing Jaebeom to take advantage of his surprise and land another array of uppercuts to his face. Just when he finally thinks he has the upper hand, his opponent blocks one of his hits and pins him against a wall with a hand around his throat.

“Any last words, Prime?”

“You really think you can kill me?” Jaebeom growls, squirming against Changbin’s hold.

“I know I can… Have fun rotting in Hell—fuck!”

Shock spills through Jaebeom’s veins as the point of branch suddenly appears through the center of the wolf’s chest, splattering red across both of their bodies. Changbin’s grip releases, allowing the hybrid to quickly speed out of his reach. Once he’s a safe distances away, Jaebeom looks to his savior, discovering the one person he never expected to see—

You stand over Changbin’s body—chest heaving and bloodied hands trembling. Your eyes are glassy when Jaebeom meets your gaze, and for some reason, he feels the urge to go and pull your form into a tight embrace. Your voice, however, returns his mind to reality:

“Did I… Did I kill him?”

“I don’t think so.” Jaebeom answers, nursing his wound with his own shaky fingers. “We need to get out of here—get somewhere safe.”

“Good idea.” You trudge over to where Jinyoung is still unconsciously laid across the chair. Jaebeom follows your lead and hurries over to a lifeless Tzuyu. “I know somewhere we can go… but I don’t think you’re going to like it.”

“(Y/N)... There is an immortal, unkillable super wolf out to kill me and my brother currently in my living room…” He snorts, maneuvering Tzuyu’s body into one arm and assisting you and Jinyoung with the other.

“Trust me, anywhere is a hell of a lot better than here…”

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xpeachesncream · 4 years ago

Text

off the grid | seven

summary: it was as simple as swapping places with a stranger from across the world to get away from everything back home. that is - until you meet Jimin. things become more complicated as he unfolds a new chapter in your life that you were initially trying to avoid.

pairing: reader x pjm

genre: post-college au, christmas/holiday au | angst, fluff, smut (to come)

words: 4.1k

chapter warnings: fluff, cussing, flirting, hints of sex/sexual comments, breakups and exes, alcohol consumption, intoxication, dancing/grinding, good friends and good company, insecurities, lots of overthinking

notes: last two chapters will be posted tomorrow and the following day!

> series masterlist <

The next morning, you wake up to the warm sun hitting your face. You quickly grab your phone to check the time and see that it's a little past 10AM. Jimin is sound asleep behind you, his arm wrapped tightly around your waist. You slowly turn, smiling to yourself as you watch him breathe quietly. Your hand rests on his cheek as you lay small kisses on his lips and nose, causing him to flutter his eyes open and smile into one of your kisses.

"Goodmorning to you too." He slightly chuckles as he wraps both arms around you and brings you closer.

"Wake up." You whine.

"I'm awake." He says, his eyes still closed.

"Doesn't look like it." You lay another kiss on his lips.

"I mean if it means more kisses, then no. I'm not awake." You playfully smack his shoulder, causing him to scrunch his nose and open his eyes. "Ha, ow." You sit up, resting onto your elbows as you look down at him. Jimin finally opens his eyes to check his phone, all while a hand is caressing your back. "Oh shit."

"Hm?"

"Fuck, that's right." He groans a bit.

"What is it?"

"The boys are out to the bars at Hongdae tonight. I'd rather much stay in with you, though."

"Ah, don't be a party pooper, Park." You laugh. "Go to the bars."

"Only if you come with. I think it's the usual, plus some of our friends from school will be coming by."

"That sounds fun. What's the celebration?"

"Mmm, nothing really. Just wanna get together and enjoy the night."

"Yeah, let's go. That sounds fun." He smiled.

"Mmkay, love." His voice is still deep and raspy, causing you to bite onto your bottom lip.

"Speaking of school, do you happen to have any pictures from college still?" Your curiosity gets to the best of you since you've heard them talk about their college days so much.

"Yeah, a ton." He laughed. "Wanna see some? You'll see baby Taehyung and Jungkook. They definitely look way different now."

"Even better." He tilts his phone to show you pictures from his college days. His black, pink, blue and purely blonde-haired days, and the way his hair was longer or styled differently with a clear undercut, caused your heart to flutter at how good he looked no matter the color or style. He sees the glow in your eyes and smiles, continuing to scroll down. You see a ton of pics of him, Jungkook, Taehyung, Jin and Hoseok hanging out individually or all together. There were a few unfamiliar faces in other photos, but nonetheless, Jimin always showed off his bright smile and laugh.

Then there was a picture he stumbled upon that caused you to raise an eyebrow. He didn't seem to mind it, even though you knew it was a picture of him and his ex. She looked up at him while he had his arm around her waist, both laughing in a very candid picture. She had popped up in two more pictures, Jimin either wrapping his arms around her or her on his back.

"Who's that?" You weren't sure how to bring up the question, or if you should have even brought it up at all. You didn't even tell him Taehyung had brought up his ex in your conversation with him at the Common Ground.

"My ex." He looked at you, puppy eyes and all.

"Wanna tell me about her?" You rested your head on his chest, the both of you still looking up at his phone.

"We dated for almost 3 years. We broke up early last year. And honestly, I don't really know. We were good until we weren't." You felt him slightly shrug. "That's probably as best as I could put it. We started off like any other couple in its honeymoon phase, then eventually, I gave more to the relationship than she did. It was pretty obvious she was over the relationship and wanted to see other people, but I tried not to have any bad blood with her when we broke up. For the most part, we had more good times than bad, and she was my friend first and foremost before we became a couple. As long as she was happy, you know?"

"Mhm." You look up at him. "Have you talked since you broke up?"

"No. She moved on pretty quickly and I felt like we both needed the space, anyways." You nodded.

"How are you such an angel?"

"What do you mean?" He chuckled.

"I don't know. You're just too good to be true, sometimes." Seriously, how? How could someone just be so understanding like that? Sure, he definitely was hurt. It's inevitable to feel hurt and completely destroyed, especially if you found out that the person you loved didn't really love you in the same way anymore. Wouldn't that make you pissed off? Sad? Like all these years didn't actually matter? Jimin continues to surprise you every day and this is why it's been hard not to get attached. Exhibit A, right here. He was just full of love, patience and warmth.

"Mm, I just consider myself to be a simple person living a simple life." His hand is now tangled in your hair, lightly massaging your scalp. "I try not to overcomplicate things. Just takes up too much energy."

"Simple? For the record, I think you're pretty cool." He laughed.

"Such a compliment coming from a pretty girl like you." He says playfully, causing you to hit his chest. The rest of the time, he begins to talk more about the other pictures he comes across, but your mind continues to wander. Why did he have pictures of his ex on his phone still? It wasn't a bad thing, knowing what you know. But part of you couldn't help but feel like Jimin was still holding onto that part of his life, even though he says he isn't. Was he still holding onto her? Lets say you both did end up working this out one way or another - what if she wanted him back? Would he instantly drop you to get back with her? Especially since she could physically be there for him 24/7? It honestly worried you, even if you weren't sure what this was, but you brush off the thoughts and simply respond to him by smiling and nodding.

It was such a bad habit of yours to assume the worst right away. A bad habit you had trouble unlearning.

Once you both deemed it was time to get up and get on with the day, you quickly showered and threw on some clothes. You borrowed a small duffle bag from Yana's closet to throw in your outfit for tonight's bar festivities as you didn't feel comfortable roaming around in it throughout the day since it was too cold.

Jimin drove you both to his apartment so he could get himself ready while you waited. Jungkook was in the kitchen getting himself a late bowl of cereal, while Taehyung sat in his room with the door wide open.

"Had a fun night, kids?" Jungkook winked and smirked at you both. You felt your cheeks heat up as you blushed and tried to avoid eye contact.

"Shut up." Jimin laughed.

"Better yet, how productive was it?" Taehyung yelled from his room.

"TAEHYUNG-AH!" Jimin yelled, making you giggle to yourself as you sat on the couch watching him pay a visit to Taehyung to scold him some more.

"Are you coming tonight, Y/N?" Jungkook sits at their dining table.

"Yeah, I am."

"Sweet. Save me a dance?"

"Sure." You chuckled.

"What are you and Jimin up to today?"

"You know, I have no idea. He doesn't like to tell me these things."

"I'm taking her to the tower." Jimin yells from his room.

"Can we come with?" Taehyung asks.

"No, I don't want you guys to go."

"Jimin!" You shout back. "Yes, you can come with us." You hear Jimin groan as he begins to shower, making Jungkook laugh.

"Grouch. It'll be fun!" You shake your head as you make your way into Jimin's room to drop off your duffle bag of clothes. You sit criss-crossed on his bed until he appears in a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair is damp and slicked back messily. Your eyes fixate on his abs and apollo's belt, causing Jimin to laugh.

"Personality is up here, Y/N." You look up to meet his eyes and smile sheepishly.

"Woops." You joke. "Couldn't see it through all of that." You wave your hand in a circular motion in front of his chest and abdomen areas.

"Mhm, wanna tell me more?" He makes his way to his closet to throw on some clothes. For God's sake.

"Mm, maybe later." He whips his head back and smirks.

"Later, huh?"

"You little nasty!"

"Says the one who was like 'I'd rather you do it inside me.'" He mocked your tone and laughed, causing you to throw his pillow at him. "Ow."

"Go get dressed, please."

"Yes, princess." He throws on black and white button up short sleeve and distressed black jeans with boots. He throws on a thick jacket and fixes his hair before walking out to meet the rest of you in the living room.

The day turns out more productive than you both thought it would be, all thanks to Jungkook and Taehyung. Besides visiting the tower and looking at the exquisite view, they figured walking around town without any agenda would be fun. In which it was, because you unlocked more stores to buy souvenirs from and more foods to try. Jimin took a ton of polaroids of the three of you, having fun and enjoying the weather, which actually wasn't too cold today.

You all get back a little past dinner time and chill for a bit before getting ready to hit the bars. The cold picked up a little bit since earlier, but you knew once you got inside and drank a little bit, you would get warmer. Taehyung was the designated driver again and it took quite a bit to get to your designation, but it was nothing too far.

The streets were flooded with people already, swarming with college kids from the nearby university. You held onto Jimin's hand as you walked behind him and navigated the streets. The bar itself was pretty nice, and there was a good amount of people already hanging out inside. You heard lots of greetings and yelling, signaling that Jimin and them finally found their friends in the crowd. He brought you forward and introduced you to his college friends, his arm held tightly around your waist. They wasted no time getting their drinks and taking shots, in which you happily joined in to get the night started. There was enough room for you all to crowd around a table and dance around.

Shot after shot, cocktail after cocktail, your body started to feel numb from the alcohol. You were at a good level and you were highly enjoying yourself tonight. You were here with Jimin and his friends, having a good time at a laid back bar in Hongdae. What could go wrong?

"Hi pretty lady." Jimin wraps his arms around your waist as you rest your arms around his neck.

"Hey, you."

"Having fun?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Good." He places a kiss on your forehead before taking you to the dance floor. "Come dance with me." You two make it to the middle of the dance floor, Jimin immediately pressing his body against yours as you grind onto him for some time. It becomes playful, the two of you locking eyes every now and then just to smile and laugh. He turns you around and you two begin to dance around each other, Jimin showing off his moves and how good of a dancer he actually really is. The boy can dance and sing?! Yeesh. Somebody send help.

"May I steal a dance?" Jungkook comes in, holding his hand out for you to grab. Jimin smiles and nods, allowing you and Jungkook to dance around each other as if you were long time friends, him twirling you around from time to time. As a song and a half passes, the both of you make your way to the bar because JK promises he'd buy you a shot if you took one with him. He asks for a double shot of some sort of whiskey, which makes your insides crumble. Yuck. But cheers to new friends and adventures, right?

"Hey, I'm really happy we met." Jungkook smiles at you and raises his shot glass. "Please promise me you'll keep in touch no matter what? We're friends now." He slightly pouts.

"Of course."

"Cheers, Y/N."

"Cheers!" You smile and tap your glass against his. The both of you take the shot quickly, your faces immediately turning sour as the alcohol travels down your bodies. Jin and Hoseok make their way over to converse, trapping you with another shot. You gladly take it since you weren't all that drunk, and you felt like you could handle another. By the time you all had drank a little more and chatted a bit, you look over Jungkook's shoulder to see Jimin speaking to another woman. He's smiling and whispering in her ear, his hand on the small of her back. She turns to look behind her when another one of Jimin's friends greets her and you realize it's his ex. Jungkook can see that your smile had died down, so he looks behind him to check out what's going on.

"Oh." He simply says and shakes his head. "Don't worry, Jimin is just being the nice guy he is but that's completely done with." You give him a tight-lipped smile and nod.

"Yeah, you're right." Is all you can say.

"Come on, let's dance with the hyungs." He nods over to the dance floor towards Jin and Hoseok. You take one last look behind him to see that Jimin is still talking to his ex but has finally created some distance between the two of them.

Maybe JK was right, what if you were worrying for no reason? For a minute, you felt a little guilty, so you brush off the thoughts and continue to dance with the boys. But then that quickly fades when you realize some time has passed and Jimin hasn't returned to your side. Instead, his ex is whispering his ear, her hands placed along his sides.

Then it suddenly hits you, a huge wave of sadness and frustration taking over you completely. This wasn't going to work. This wasn't going to work because you couldn't physically be here for Jimin like she could. No matter how you both decided to make it work. It wouldn't be fair. Jimin needs someone to be here for him. To care for him, support him and to see him. To show him that he's loved. You couldn't do that being in LA.

Maybe he really was still holding onto parts of his past. Maybe it was just better that way.

"Hey, I think I'm just going to head home." You tippy-toe to let Jungkook know. He shakes his head and looks down at you with worry.

"Wait, what's wrong Y/N? Let me know how I can help."

"It's nothing, I'm just feeling pretty tired. My feet hurt."

"Do you want me to grab Jimin?"

"No, he's busy. I don't wanna bother him." You lie, even though Jungkook can tell this is about his ex. Very clearly. "I can make my way home."

"I'll tell Taehyung to drive you."

"No, I promise. I'll make it. Please just keep having fun. I'll probably see you guys tomorrow." You give him a reassuring smile before walking off. You needed to get out of there before he could stop you any further. You tried to rush down the street, hoping none of them would come after you. But you should've known.

"Y/N!" You look back to see Jimin slightly pushing his way through the crowd to reach you. "Y/N, wait!"

"Jimin, go back inside. I'm fine." He grabs your wrist gently.

"What's going on?"

"I'm just tired." He shakes his head.

"Are you seriously going to lie to me?"

"I'm not doing this here. I just want to go home." You plead, breaking away from his grip.

"Let me go with you."

"Jimin—"

"Y/N, stop. I'm not letting you go anywhere by yourself at this time. You either let me come with or we both go back inside." You sigh, making your way to a cab that was already parked and waiting for you to come in. Jimin gets in on the other side, directing the driver to Yana's address. The ride is quiet, your hands resting on your lap as you avoid eye contact and look out the window. You couldn't even describe your feelings right now because ya, you were hurt for many reasons. One being that he didn't even come to your side that entire time he was with her. And two, reality fucking sucks. It was never going to work between the both of you and you hated believing it could so quickly.

He quickly rushes over to open your door and follows behind you as you walk into Yana's loft. You throw the keys and your bag onto the kitchen island, tossing your shoes messily to the side.

"Y/N, please stop giving me this silent treatment. What's going on?" He gently grabs your wrists to make you face him. You look at his face and begin to cry. That face became so special to you in such a short amount of time. That face, that body, this entire being. And it hurt so, so bad.

"Jimin, what are we doing?" You cried.

"What do you mean, baby?" He asks softly.

"No, don't call me that." He's taken aback by your statement.

"W-what?"

"Did you really think this was going to work between us?"

"Why can't it?"

"Because I live in Los Angeles, Jimin! If you haven't forgotten, I don't live here and I'm going back home in a few days."

"So what?" He shrugs. "I'm going to make this work with you because I want to. I don't care about the time difference, distance, whatever. It doesn't matter to me."

"Well, it does to me! Okay? I care! Because I won't physically be here to be with you. I don't think it's fair."

"Is this about my ex?" He stepped back a bit to read your body language. "Is it because you saw us talking earlier?"

"N-no."

"Y/N, I really don't appreciate you lying to me." You wipe your tears aggressively and cross your arms. "I was catching up with her and I'm sorry I didn't get to introduce you. I'm not gonna lie, she was talking about hanging out and seeing each other more but I told her I was done with it."

"Are you really?"

"Yes." His face dropped. "How can you question me about my own feelings for you?"

"Jimin. I don't think you get this." You pleaded. "I can't be here physically. Do you not understand how unfair that is? She can be here for you and I—"

"I don't want her. I want you." You shake your head.

"This should have never happened between us." He furrowed his forehead.

"Huh? Are you saying you regret this?"

"No, but it should have never gotten this-this.. complicated. I came here to get away from all that mess back home. I just wanted to be free from it all and find myself, as cliché as that shit sounds. And now it just feels like I've completely defeated the purpose of my trip here."

"It sounds like you do, though."

"I'm not saying that. I just.." You cried harder. "I can't do this with you. And trust, I know you'll meet someone who could do better for you and be here for you. What if I can't be the person you deserve? Especially being across the world."

"I don't give a fuck about anyone else but you, Y/N! Why can't you just see that? I just want you."

"Jimin." You shake your head as you cried more. You physically feel your heart breaking, each bit falling to the deep pits of your stomach. You almost feel queazy and nauseous, like you could hurl any moment now.

"It doesn't have to be this way." He says lowly. You can see the hurt on his face. "But you know what, I'll respect you and your space."

"You know—" He shook his head and opened the door.

"Save it, Y/N. You made it very clear what you wanted." He sighed. "You became everything to me, you know? I care about you so much." He paused. "I-I fell in love with you and wanted to give you my all, but I guess it wasn't enough." He says, almost at a whisper before slamming the door shut, leaving you to cry your eyes out on the kitchen floor. You quickly pull out your phone, feeling completely lost and alone.

"Pick up, pick up." You whisper to yourself. It was early morning in LA and you knew Namjoon would be up, so you were just hoping he would be around to pick up the phone.

"Wasssssup!" Namjoon smiles, but it instantly fades when he realizes you're crying. "Woah, hey. What's going on?"

"Joon, I'm so fucking stupid." You cry into your hands, not giving a fuck what you look like over Facetime. "I'm so, so fucking stupid."

"Slow down, stop saying that. What is it?"

"I should have never gotten into this mess. I should have stuck to my plan and I shouldn't have gotten so attached to Jimin. This was never going to work." You go on and on.

"Did he do something?" You can see Joon's jaw slightly clench and tense up.

"No." You sighed. "No. It's just, what was I thinking? Falling in love with someone when I knew damn well I was only going to be here for a limited amount of time. I came here to get away from all that. All the stress and relationship bullshit."

"You can't help what you feel, Y/N."

"Yeah, but this was never going to work no matter how much I want to be with him. My life is there. The distance, not being able to physically care and love for him like-like-like his ex or some shit!" You stutter.

"You guys ran into his ex, I'm assuming."

"At the fucking bar! And she was all touchy with him."

"Okay, but how did it actually go down?" He leans forward, waiting to hear the real confrontation between Jimin and his ex.

"He told her he didn't wanna see her or take their relationship further anymore. He said he was done."

"So, why are you making an issue out of this?"

"I don't know Joonie. I wanna be with him but I can't. I'm afraid of not being able to deliver and give him what he deserves. He's an angel. I'm nowhere near that."

"Y/N, I love you. You know I do, right?" You nodded as you sniffed and wiped the remaining tears away. "But I don't think this is a good enough excuse to push yourself away from Jimin. If you really care about him like you say you do, then this distance shouldn't matter. You both could make it work as long as you both think it's worth it. And from what I can see and hear, I think he really has it for you."

"Don't say that, it's not helping."

"I'm saying it like it is." He sighed. "I know you've been hurt before and I know Romeo was a fucking dumbass, but you can't keep holding onto that, thinking every experience will be the same. You need to leave him in the past, where he belongs. The things you've told me about Jimin and the things Yana has told me about Jimin have only shown me how great of a guy he really is. Maybe you just need to let your guard down and take a chance with him."

"I'm just scared. I'm scared he might find better, you know? He'll realize this distance is too much. He'll realize how much work this is."

"I think he has found that already. And I don't think it's fair for you to speak on his feelings."

"Are you on my side or his?!"

"I just want you to think about this before you come back home feeling even shittier than when you got there. Whatever it is, whatever you decide, I'll always support you. But don't push your happiness away just because you're afraid of the little things. You'll never grow that way."

"Namjoon." You cried. "I really don't know what to do. We got into this argument and he left. I'm sure he's done."

"I'm here for you. I got you." Namjoon repeated, giving you the space you needed to let it all out and cry on the other end.

#bts #bts fanfiction #jimin fanfiction #jimin #park jimin #pjm series #pjm x reader #jimin x reader #jimin fluff #off the grid #otg #writing

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