#he certainly did like women but maybe he was smitten with this man who knows | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

donutloverxo · 4 years

Text

No more waiting

Please note that my work is not to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account without my permission. Reblogs are most welcome though!

Note - Part two to Pink Lady.

Dividers by @whimsicalrogers

Summary - Andy is determined to wait. But will he be able to?

Warnings - 18+ only smut (m/f), professor/student relationship, unprotected sex, dom Andy, many mentions of spanking but no actual spanking, sir kink.

Pairing - Andy Barber x reader

Word count - 3320

Masterlist is linked in the bio!

You groaned as you tossed out yet another piece of clothing. Professor Barber had asked you to come to his house, so he could give you ‘private lessons’. Obviously, you had no interest in actually studying. Especially with a man who looks like Andy Barber. You intended on milking the time you did have with him by getting what you wanted.

You settled on a tight skirt that hadn’t fit you in years. It was sexy enough to be enticing but innocent enough that you could claim plausible deniability.

You are not trying to tease him. You would never! You’re just wearing a normal skirt and taking lessons like the diligent and sincere student that you are.

You whistled lowly, pulling over in front of his house, impressed by the sheer size of it. He was an actual adult with a big, sophisticated house in the suburbs. The most valuable thing you owned was a Louis Vuitton bag an ex gave you.

You couldn’t be intimidated. Not now, when you were in this deep. Checking your lipstick one last time you rang the bell, holding your books up and eagerly waiting.

After a minute he opened the door. Leaning over the frame and examining you.

You felt butterflies pool in your stomach at his casual loungewear. His sleeves rolled up, exposing his tones arms to you and those dark jeans hugging him so perfectly. You really couldn’t decide if you preferred this or those business suits.

“You’re late.” he scolded you as you rolled your eyes. Of course that’s the first thing he'd say to you. “What have I said about rolling your eyes at me?” he cocked his head to the side, as if daring you to provoke him.

You hummed in thought, “I don’t remember.... Oh yes!” you beamed as if you’d had an epiphany “to do it as often as I can!”

He stared you down for a moment before shaking his head as he chuckled. “Get in here. What am I going to do with you?”

You were about to be a smartass some more, cooking up a dirty response in your head, just to see how far you could push him but then he put his hand on your lower back. You felt shivers run up your spine, goose bumps all over your skin as you squirmed under his touch.

“Is everything okay?” he asked, shutting the door behind you.

You gulped as you nodded, “Yeah, why wouldn’t it be? I’m just here to study.” You laughed to ease your own nerves.

“Go sit on the table,” he instructed.

You pulled out a chair, placing your books on the dining table. He sat in front of you, nursing a beer. “Let’s start. Where do you struggle the most?”

“Can I have one too?” You were about to take the bottle from him to take but he swatted your hands away.

“Absolutely not. You need a clear head to study. And we both know you can’t handle your alcohol.”

You scoffed incredulously, “I can so! And if I can’t have it then neither should you.” you puffed your cheeks before mumbling “beer tastes gross anyway.”

“Why do you have to make everything so difficult?” he groaned pinching the bridge of his nose. “Let’s not forget, I’m doing you a favor here.”

“I know, maybe I could thank you for it.” you licked your lips. Thinking of his heavy cock in your mouth, the biggest you’ve ever had, it was a challenge to deep throat him. You weren’t one to just give it away for free and not expect anything in return. But... anything for professor Barber.

“That’s cute,” he said condescendingly, giving you a fake wide smile. “Now start studying or I’ll have to spank you,” he warned.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” you giggled shamelessly, not really understanding how that would be a punishment, but then opened your book when he gave you a stern look.

He got up and walked to the stove check on his sauce. He just needed to get away from you for a moment and take a breather.

He hasn’t thought this through.

His original plan was to tutor you and get your grades up. So that you could graduate and he could ask you out without endangering his job and reputation. He intended to keep his hands to himself till then. One slip up and you both would have to face grave consequences.

The blow job in his office - was a mistake. Although it was too good to be something he mourned or regretted. He should’ve said no but you knew just to push his buttons. Just like the ridiculous schoolgirl skirt you were wearing tonight. Or how your tight shirt and cleavage left nothing to his imagination.

Worse of all was that fucking red lip. He hated that you had tasted him and he couldn’t even kiss you. What he wouldn’t give for just a quick peck.

“Mr Barber,” he heard you call for him and groaned as his cock stirred at your chirpy tone. He loathed just how far gone he was for you. You, sitting up so sweetly with your breasts pushed up together, certainly don’t make it any easier.

“I’m all done. Can we get on to the fun part now? Pretty please?” you cooed batting your lashes at him.

“The fun part is studying - keep telling yourself that and you might actually like it.” he suggested and you rolled your eyes again. He had half a mind to bend you over the table, lift up your skirt and pull down your panties, even though he was pretty sure you weren’t wearing any, and teach you a lesson. “Careful. Or they’ll get stuck up there.” He tapped your forehead with his finger.

“I meant the actual fun part.” Boldly, you reached over and palmed his crotch through his jeans. Not really surprised to find him aroused.

“Stop,” he gritted as he grabbed at your wrist with a bruising grip. “I told you, we’re not doing that. Not till you graduate or I’ll lose my job.”

“What about what we did in your office?” you pouted.

“That was a mistake. You left me no choice.”

You frowned, “Right. I overpowered you because you’re so weak and helpless.”

“Enough. Now study and then we can have dinner.”

“And then we have dessert?” You wiggled your brows suggestively.

“No. Then you drive back to your dorm.” he ignored your pitiful puppy eyes and sat across you, working on his cases. Maybe that would inspire you to actually get some studying done.

“Do you not like law?” he asked after over an hour.

You hummed as you heard him. Too engrossed in studying, you didn’t even register his words. You didn’t remember the last time you had concentrated so well. “Meh. It’s alright I guess. I wouldn’t wanna go to law school though.”

“Then what do you want to do?” he dropped his pen leaning back on the chair, crossing his arms across his chest.

“I don’t know. I guess what you do sounds nice,” you mumbled making notes with your glitter pens.

“Being a DA?”

“Yeah. It just sounds so hard though. Like going to law school and then being an intern for years and then working for like eighty hours a week...”

“Anything worth having is always hard to achieve.” he stated. Aware of how the same applies to his situation. He wants, no needs you, but if he wants to do this the right way - he has to wait.

“I guess you’re right.” you agreed.

After going over your notes and quizzing you, he was satisfied with your progress. He set the table for dinner.

“Good job,” he smiled, feeling his heart swell with pride. “See, you put your mind to something and you can absolutely achieve it.”

You squinted your eyes, “No spanking then?”

He chuckled “Nope. Not for now. I’m your tutor, that’s all.” he said more so to himself, to remember, to have some self control, it will pay off.

“Oh my gosh!” you moaned as the creamy tangy sauce burst your taste buds “I can’t remember the last time I ate something that wasn’t ramen.”

He shook his head “You need to eat better to study better.”

“But I don’t know how to cook!” you whined.

“Then I guess I’ll have you teach you that too.”

He helped you pack your things up, moving as slow as a sloth. Not wanting you to leave just yet. He couldn’t have enough of you. Maybe he’d ask you to stay in the guestroom. He had a perfectly good excuse, it was late. But he wasn’t sure he could trust himself to keep his hands off of you.

“Goodbye then. I’m going to quiz you tomorrow. Don’t forget.” he said walking you to his door. He turned to see you blinking up at him.

He never thought he’d be so smitten with someone so different than him. All his life he dated women his age or older. They suited his old soul much better, none of his relationships really went anywhere, maybe he was too cautious to actually let someone in. To open up enough, to reveal his true self to anyone.

But you were unlike anyone he had ever met, it was as if you were exotic. So bright - almost blinding. So young and sweet. You made him feel things he never thought he could. You could be the proverbial ying to his yang.

“Yeah yeah, I remember,” you waved him off. Still salty that you didn’t get to do any of the naughty stuff you had planned. “Is there something on my face?” You touched your cheek when you caught him staring at you. Letting out a shaky breath and cowering under his predatory gaze.

“I’ll try harder next time!” you panicked, assuming you did a bad job at studying. You tried your best. What else were you supposed to do? The idea of a spanking sounded more scary than sexy to you now.

“Fuck it,” he gritted as he crashed his lips over yours, grabbing your waist and your hip to still you. He invaded your mouth with his tongue, taking his time to explore all your nooks. Sucking your bottom lip between his lips before releasing it with a smack he pulled away. Both of you heaving and trying to catch your breath.

You threw your arms around his neck, pressing hot and quick kisses “I thought we were going to wait,” you said against his lips.

“I can’t. I thought I could. I’m only a man, you know?” he sighed as he pulled you in, exploring your body with his hands “What do you want to do?” As impatient as he was, he would never force himself on you or do anything without your permission.

“I just... I - ” Your cheeks instantly heat up as you stutter. As naughty as your filthy mind was, it had to choose this moment to betray you. “You know, you know! Oh my god,” you smacked your forehead “Are you really gonna make me say it?”

“Yes,” he breathed, leaning down to suck your earlobe “say it.” He peppered butterfly kisses on your jaw and down your neck. Sucking thoroughly on a spot that made you moan.

“Fine!” you huffed. Feeling his fingers ghost over your inner thighs. “Professor – sir, will you please fuck me. As in put your man missile in my special princess place.” you said in a mock seductive tone.

“Don’t sass me.” he groaned, pushing his erection into you, he put his hands on your shoulders to turn you around, lightly smacking your butt he urged you to go upstairs. “Come on, hurry up. We don’t have all night.” You did have all night but his patience, as it often did with you, was running thin.

You made yourself comfortable on his bed, working on his belt and unzipping his pants. “I’ve never been this addicted to a cock before, professor,” you husked pulling him out of his underwear and licking a firm stripe up his slit, his hand holding onto your head. “I hope you know you’re special.” you beamed at him through hooded eyes. Wrapping your lips around his weeping tip, about to swallow him whole but he pushes your head away.

“Right back at ya, honey. Now,” he laid down on his back beside you as you stared at him, so adorably confused, “come sit on my face.”

“What?!” you unintentionally screamed -in delightful horror. It had always been a fantasy of yours, so downright dirty, and you have a chance to do it with your dream man? You would be a fool to turn him down, but you were anxious, that beard between your thighs would be a bit too much for you to handle.

He didn’t give you any time to think about it, grabbing your hips and swiftly placing you on top of his head, “Oh!” you yelped at the coarse feel of his whiskers against your pussy. You held onto his short silky locks for support as he worked on steadying you “That’s - ” you were cut off when he wrapped his mouth around your clit, sucking it harshly.

“You’re already so wet,” The vibrations from his words sent a jolt up your spine “And you’re not wearing any panties,” he tutted before diving back in, determined to not stop until you’re seeing stars.

“Are you really surprised - holy shit,” you gasped as you felt his tongue prodding at your entrance before slipping in. It was so strange and new, the velvety warm feel of it was almost too good. “Oh, I’m gonna come.” you whimpered.

“No,” he pulled away “you don’t come without permission. Is that understood?”

You frantically nod your head, under any other circumstances you would’ve argued, who the hell does he think he is to deny or control your orgasms? But you were putty in his hands and desperate to have that sweet release. “Please, sir, can I come?”

“May I come.” He corrected you “You need to learn some manners.”.

And you had to supress the urge to call him names, “May I come, sir? Please.” you said breathlessly as he lapped you up.

“Yes, you may.”

You sobbed, his fingers digging into your ass and his tongue working magic on you was too good all at once. A string of curses and loud moans left your mouth, your climax hitting you in waves of pleasure, you held onto the headboard as your legs turned into jello.

“That was amazing,” you panted, mewling as he nipped at your sensitive flesh.

You got off of him, kneeling beside him as he got up, his beard drenched in your juices which he rubbed off with the back of his hand. Placing a sloppy kiss on your lips, to make you taste your own arousal, he pushed you down on his mattress and worked on ridding you of your clothes.

You pulled the helm of his shirt up “Off!” you whined. He was too far gone to chastise you so he took off his clothes, throwing them away before he got a good look at you.

He groaned at your naked form. He had thought of you while pleasuring himself more than once. He wouldn’t even be bothered to be ashamed of it. He thought of your lips and small hands wrapped around his girth, how tight and hot your cunt would feel, but most of all how beautiful you’d look when you were completely bare.

He painted a pretty picture in his head, but really, he never could do you any justice. His imagination could never be that strong.

“Is something wrong?” you bashfully averted your eyes from him.

“No. You’re just so... perfect.” he couldn’t come up with a better word.

You scoffed, “You’re just saying that. There are a million things I’d change about myself. I’m not the one who’s perfect!” you frowned. Tempted to touch his defined abs. His broad shoulders and bulky form looked ridiculously big between your legs.

“I don’t have time to argue,” He absolutely would not have you or anyone else, putting you down. Bur right now, his cock was aching to be buried in your heat. If he waited any longer he was afraid he’d burst. He lined his cock up to your entrance, watching intently as he slowly pushed in “but we will have a discussion about that, later.” he groaned as he bottomed out.

“What?” You had no idea what he was even going on about. His cock was stretching you out “It’s too big,” you cried. You felt as if you were being split in half.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. You can handle it. I’ll be gentle.” He was aware that he was much bigger than average. So he stayed inside you for a few moments, letting you get accustomed to his length. He slipped a hand between your joined bodies, spreading your lips open with his fingers.

“Don’t - don’t do that.” Him looking at your pussy like that, when you were so vulnerable before him made you flustered.

“Look,” he told you and you only shook your head. He sternly said your name and ordered you to look again.

You propped yourself up on your elbows, gulping as you sneaked a peek, whimpering at the sight of his girth buried inside you.

“You have such a pretty pussy you know that?” He gushed before making a ‘tch' sound and stilling your hips, stopping your pathetic attempts at wiggling them. “Wait a minute, will you?” he wasn’t done admiring you and savoring you.

“Please,” you begged as tears fell down your cheeks.

He grumbled something under his breath before pulling out of you, his tip still buried in your heat, he pushed back in forcefully.

You threw your head back, clutching your pillow tightly as his hips rutted into you. His pelvis rubbing your swollen clit every time he bottomed out.

“Can I - can I come?” you remembered to ask him even though you were too delirious to even comprehend what you we’re sayings. Everything around you slipped into an abyss. His groans echoing in the room, his bruising grip on your hip, and his cock driving into you again and again, touching all your sweet spots.

You weren’t sure you could stop yourself even if he said no. But you knew he’d never be that mean. You vaguely heard him say ‘yes' before you let go. Clenching around his length as you slapped a hand over your mouth to keep from screaming anymore.

His hips stuttered, pulling his length out of you, he stroked himself above you. Your fucked out state only fuelling his aggressive jerks as spurts of his seed landed on your stomach and your titts.

He held onto your knee, swirling his cum that painted your skin so beautiful with his fingers, “Looks pretty on you,” He smeared some on your nipple before pulling it between his fingers.

“Ouch,” you grimaced as he released it. “Too sensitive right now.” you closed your eyes, already feeling drowsy.

He hummed “I’ll let you sleep for a few hours.” He used his discarded shirt to clean his cum off of you before throwing it away and pulling you in his arms. He nuzzled his nose in your hair, feeling satiated with your soft warm body against him.

“You have god tier stamina, man.” You murmured “Andy, you couldn’t even last a day. What happened to being patient? What will people say?” you giggled, burying your head in his chest.

“That’s Professor Barber to you.” he smiled, kissing your temple. Even tired, you were still a spitfire. He’d deal with all that the next day. “It was worth it.”

Tags will be in the reblog! Click the link in the bio to be join the taglist or shoot me an ask/dm.

Comments and reblogs are really appreciated! ❤❤

#andy barber x reader #chris evans x reader #andy x reader #andy barber x you #professor!andy barber

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lucky-dreamfisher · 4 years

Text

Queer Subtext in The Illusion of Living - Part 3/?

Yes, you read that right, there will be more parts. This book is a gift that keeps on giving.

As Joey had to work at his father’s shop from a young age, he didn’t really have friends, up until he joined the army at 15 and met Donaldson and Eckhart, as well as Nathan Arch. All three of whom aggressively pressured him to comply with heteronormative behavior: bullying him to go on dates with the army girls, and making fun of him for liking girl stuff.

“The men made fun of me: "Reading a romance there, Drew?" (...) I knew before Donaldson and Eckhart had teased me that supposedly men who were "real men" as someone, maybe Arch, had put it, read about real subjects, nonfiction.” TIOL, page 62

That experience must have left a deep mark on him, because this ‘real man’ complex resurfaces later in TIOL, and even in DCTL:

But his friends also sexted him from across the ocean, which he still recalls fondly decades later:

“Eckhart and Donaldson were still alive, sending me letters with dirty limericks from overseas.” TIOL, page 113

Also worth noting is the difference in how he feels about women asking him to go out versus men doing the same.

“When they were shipped overseas, I genuinely missed them. They were the first gents I'd ever met who could convince me to go out and spend an evening dancing and socializing instead of studying. They showed me that there was some-thing positive about escaping the daily grind that way.

(...)

I had once tried to explain to them that it wasn't that I didn't like girls, or didn't enjoy their company, I just didn't have time for them. I didn't want to go out on nights I needed to stay in.” TIOL, page 28

Girls ask me out = girls bad :(

Boys ask me out = boys hot :)

But then we get to Detective Sinclair, and things get… interesting.

Joey meets Detective Sinclair shortly after leaving the army and moving to New York in 1920, when the man comes to question him about the mysterious murder of his old army colleague. After noting the similarity between the detective and that of Joey’s (mostly gay) neighbors in Greenwich Village, Joey invites him over to his apartment, where they immediately proceed to establish which of them is the alpha male, and it isn’t Joey:

“Once again Detective Adam Sinclair didn't show any sign that he heard me, that he agreed or didn't with my invitation, he just walked into my studio and stood in the middle of the room. He looked around, slowly, taking in the space.” TIOL, page 99

“Too bad.” He flicked the butt of his second cigarette onto my floor and stepped on it thoughtfully. I wasn't going to tell him how rude that was. I wanted the gig and it was obvious he knew. It was also obvious he wanted me to say something about the cigarette.” TIOL, page 110

Joey is utterly fascinated by this display of complete lack of respect for him and begs the detective to let him be his apprentice. He lies about having an interest in becoming a detective someday, but in reality he gives no shit about the work, or the case. His interest is solely in Sinclair.

“(...)this fellow fascinated me.” TIOL, page 100

“I rushed over to my one window to watch as he left the building. He was a hulking shadow again, wandering away from my building without a glance backward. A fantastic character really.” TIOL, page 110

“Detective Sinclair didn't say anything more and again I was following him. I didn't know how he chose who to talk to, and by the time the evening was over I'd forgotten to ask. (...) I tried to do my own detective work about the detective as he went about asking questions.” TIOL, page 115

This wouldn’t be the only time he gets instantly smitten by a man with a cigarette and an air of indifference, and the similarity between Sinclair and Sammy’s introduction is pretty interesting:

"And what's a Joey Drew Studios?" asked Sammy, lighting a cigarette from the darkness by the stone wall at the edge of the terrace. Yes, he said it in that dismissive tone. I didn't understand why he needed to talk to me like that.” TIOL, page 188

Joey himself wonders whether the detective’s behavior is a result of him correctly predicting Joey’s… preferences.

“Fascinating. Detective Sinclair's tone was very different here. He was less curt talking to her, there was a softness almost in his speech. It occurred to me that he was attempting to reflect what he saw in her personality to make her more comfortable. Trying to give her what she wanted without her knowing she wanted anything. It made me wonder what trick he'd used with me. I didn't like the idea, but it was a very interesting one.” TIOL, page 188

So the text confirms that Joey has a type, and that type seems to be men, who refuse to give him the attention he craves (and smoke cigarettes, apparently. Resisting the urge to make a joke about phallic symbolism).

And boy, does Joey crave Sinclair’s attention!

You see, even though solving the case was not at all interesting to Joey, there was something else, which was of great importance to him: making sure that Sinclair finds him physically attractive.

“He was memorizing it, adding it to the appendix of his story. I was determined not to be some small character who might not even rate a name. I wasn't going to be a description only, "Tall, lean, handsome young man" or the like.” TIOL, page 100

“He wore his large overcoat and hat like always, his five o'clock shadow too, which made me all the more annoyed that I'd cared to look presentable. Not that I wouldn't have dressed appropriately—such things matter—I just resented I had cared as much as I had about the detective's particular opinion. I got in next to him with-out any conversation. Without really any sign he noticed me at all. He just stared forward as the car drove off, and I was so grumpy from the train ride I was happy to sit in silence.” TIOL, page 129

When senpai doesn’t notice you :(

“I assumed that Detective Sinclair had opinions on everyone, and probably bad opinions. Just like he thought I couldn't look presentable when I most certainly could.” TIOL, page 130

Note that at no point in the story does Sinclair give any indication of his opinion about Joey’s appearance. This is happening entirely inside Joey’s own mind.

In addition to his looks, Joey is also deeply concerned about not appearing childish and weak in front of the detective:

“My eyes were watering now It looked like I was crying and I felt humiliated at the thought.” TIOL, page 122

“I felt even more annoyed now, and rightfully so. Detective Sinclair had said I could come along on his investigations, obviously it had been a lie. It felt very much like he didn't want me there for any of the one-on-ones, like I'd spoil it or something. Quite frankly, I didn’t enjoy being treated like a child this way.

“You can take a seat, Joey," said Detective Sinclair. I rolled my eyes inwardly; nope, did not enjoy being treated like a child at all. "Sit next to me, love," said Mrs. Pepper, enthusiastically petting the spot beside her. I smiled because she was being kind and I did as she requested.” TIOL, page 133

Once again we see a stark contrast in how he reacts to a man offering him a seat vs a woman doing the same. He wants Sinclair to treat him as an equal, an adult, a “real man”, and he doesn’t much care about the opinion of Mrs. Pepper.

And then this happens:

"Detective Sinclair, thank you for your time, (...)You should leave, no one needs you anymore!” Detective Sinclair didn't say anything back. That was when I finally saw the man behind the character. A weak man who needed validation just like the rest of them. (...) I felt uncomfortable, a little disgusted even. Here was a man I'd admired despite it all, and here he was at the end, with nothing. I saw it now, the other illusion: the role of detective he was wearing, indifferent, cold, emotionless. None of it was true. (...)I knew he wanted me to go with him, but I didn't. His part in my story was done now.” TIOL, page 144

I think this moment speaks more about Joey’s character than it does about Sinclair’s. After spending dozens of pages seeking validation and approval from this man, Joey instantly discards him the moment he realizes that Sinclair isn’t actually the living embodiment of this idealized image of a “Real Man” that he has internalized in his formative years.

Perhaps the thing that initially drove him to Sinclair (and later to Sammy) was the qualities he saw in them, that he wishes he could possess himself. Perhaps he has convinced himself that if he could get these men to recognize him as an equal, a fellow “god”, his “illusion” would finally be complete and he could truly live up to the standards set by the society he was raised in.

#Bendy and the Ink Machine #batim #bendy: the illusion of living #detective adam sinclair #sammy lawrence #joey drew #nathan arch #dreamfisher certified

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baekberrie · 4 years

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paracetamol - bbh

Characters: Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: Romance, slight angst and fluff

Au!s: Single dad au, best friends au

Sypnosys: Baekhyun, a bright, kind and beautiful person inside out, had always found himself strong enough to carry everything on his own sturdy shoulders. But as his daughter one day finds him in the middle of a breakdown, he admits that perhaps, he's not completely fine- and not as strong as he thought. Baekhyun, a twenty-eight-year-old single dad that finds himself struggling to raise his daughter, gets a proposal from his bestfriend to finally start letting in new people in his life, meeting women on dates you had set him up with. But just as things fall into place- they fall apart on the other side.

Making him realize that he had been trying to build the wrong puzzle all along.

Making you realize that the puzzle you were making him build was one you wouldn't be a piece of. One you couldn't help him build anymore.

If you took two paracetamol pills from 500mg, would it be the same as 1000mg? Would they ever be enough to ease the ache in your chest?

"Beware of butterflies, they'll break your heart."

Was it the extremely lonely moon that had smitten him with its melancholy? Or perhaps the gentle rain tapping onto the window, inducing him to feel just as small, just as vulnerable. The tears welling up in Baekhyun's eyes were small but full of sorrow. A sorrow that controlled his voice into subtle cries that he so wanted to swallow back down his throat, a sorrow that made his body tremble.

Baekhyun was someone that always smiled, for the people around him, for himself, for his daughter. As bright as the sun, he was. Cheerful like the summer, he was. He was organized and had everything under control.

But for tonight, he couldn't control his emotions. As much as he wanted to stop crying and be stronger, the sudden wave of overwhelming feelings had unexpectedly come crashing down upon him. Until now, Baekhyun had always done his best to be the greatest version of himself, so that he could give his only daughter the best life, even without a mother. In fact, he had to say, things had gone surprisingly well and nothing like what he had imagined when his lover had suddenly left him and their daughter without notice, without explanations. It would've been a lie if he said he hadn't gone through a harsh period where he'd constantly be tested by depression, loneliness, and hopelessness. But he had had his sources of light. His daughter that day by day grew so quickly yet beautifully, had always been was what drove him forward, what prevented him from giving up so many times. And then there had been you. You and your endless will to help him with his needs as a single dad, your strengthening friendship, and your comforting smiles.

Despite the hardships he had faced, Baekhyun always considered himself extremely blessed, for he had a beautiful daughter that he truly, loved with his whole being- a daughter that solely could bring him so much happiness to last for an eternity. A loving family and precious friends that took care of him, and he took care of them. With all of these things, he would never allow himself to feel sad, broken, or lonely. It felt extremely wrong and ungrateful. Baekhyun could just not accept the fact that he too, was not endlessly strong. Just like everybody else, he had a breaking point. Now, he had finally reached it.

The twenty-nine-year-old man did not hear the little girl silently pushing his door that had been ajar, open. There would be times where his daughter wouldn't be able to sleep and seek for her dad, and she was so tiny, so he would purposely never close the door completely so that she could come in without hinders. Standing on her tippy toes, she took tiny steps to the king-sized bed that really, wasn't too big, but looked immense in her tired eyes. A little clumsily, she climbed onto the bed and plopped down next to Baekhyun, tugging gently at the sleeve of his pajamas while rubbing her eye with the other hand. Shocked to be caught in such a vulnerable moment, Baekhyun almost jumped away from the child but visibly relaxed when he saw her.

"S-sweetheart, what are you doing here?" His trembling voice gave him away, but he didn't think that his daughter would catch on it. He was wrong, for before she could even think about answering, she had already noticed the salty stains of his tears reflecting in the moonlight. The little girl almost tripped when standing up, but stubbornly caught her balance again before walking to stand in front of her father.

"Why is daddy crying?" Came her small voice, full of concern, "Did you have a nightmare?" Her arms were stretched towards him, she obviously wanted to throw them around his neck, but they were too short. The sight melted Baekhyun's heart instantly and without making her wait, he pulled her onto his lap. She hadn't been too far from right when she mentioned a nightmare, although he had been awake, the painful feelings chasing his sleep away certainly felt like one.

"Dad is okay, don't worry, hmm?" Baekhyun made sure to sound the sweetest so that he wouldn't worry her, but sometimes he underestimated the maturity of his daughter. Sure, she was still incredibly young, but every day she showed him how intelligent she was, understanding many things right away. A confused frown made its way on his face when all she did was puff her rosy cheeks with air, a bit annoyed, for that matter.

"Daddy, you not so good at lying, you know?" Once again, he was to be astonished by his own daughter. The incredulous expression on her soft features alone was able to make him forget about his anxieties. He had no idea how to respond to that, much less to the way she had started looking at him so intently. He felt slightly awkward when her chocolate brown eyes that resembled his moved all over his face for a good minute. Soon enough though, a hint of hesitation began polling within them as she started fidgeting nervously with her tiny, chubby fingers.

"Are you missing mommy?" Her voice had been so small, almost inaudible when asking the question, always afraid that the topic would sadden Baekhyun further. Early in her life, she had learned that she was slightly different from the other children because she did not have a mother. At first, it had been hard to digest the fact that everybody she knew had a mother except for her...But it did not last long, she had immensely shocked Baekhyun when she with her slightly broken language told him that she didn't mind after all, since he had always been there and it was enough.

Baekhyun vigorously shook his head at the question. What happened had by now taken place a long time ago and you could say that Baekhyun had learned to accept the way his story with the mother of his daughter had ended. He taught himself that it would never be worth it to hurt for someone who after all, did not love them enough to stay. The feelings of sorrow and heartbreak in her regards had with time morphed into something a loving person like Baekhyun would not usually carry in his heart. Rage. In fact, there would be moments when in his thoughts, he'd go back to all the good times lived together until he reached the abrupt end, and despite himself, he couldn't help but feel so angered, so disappointed. Wondering whether he had never been enough to her? And their daughter? Hadn't she meant anything for her to leave like that? What hurt the most was knowing that none of these questions were ever going to be answered. Though maybe, it was better that way. He had let it go, so there was no reason for him to reminisce about it. Sometimes though, he couldn't help it.

He brought a hand to brush the wild locks of his daughter away from her face, adoringly cupping her soft, soft cheek. "Do you? Are you sad?" He murmured, searching for an answer in her demeanor, but it was not needed because just like he had, she shook her head fervently.

"No, daddy is all I need." Sparkling adoration reflected on her face while from Baekhyun's eyes dripped honey as his lips curled in the happiest smile. A certain feeling bloomed within his chest, as if there were two hearts swelling next to each other, a kind of love and adoration that would steal his breath away. Swiftly, he put two hands underneath each of her armpits and lifted her up slightly, bringing her closer. Excited gurgles were echoing in the walls at the sudden move. He pressed a chaste kiss to her tiny lips and hugged the child to his chest, to which she happily snuggled into.

"You're my angel. Dad is so lucky to have you, you know that right?" She could only nod on his chest, her tiny fingers tightened around his shirt.

"Can I sleep here with dad?" Her head tilted upward to steal a glance at the male. Despite the sleep threatening to take over, for her, he pulled the brightest smile he could muster. Placing another kiss on the crown of her hair, he whispered a gentle; "Of course honey."

---

The clock was nearing noon when you got a text from Baekhyun asking you to pick up his daughter from kindergarten since he would be late. A smile instantly crossed your lips upon seeing the name of his contact, but also because you couldn't wait to see the baby girl again. She was the brightest ray of sun and her smile would always succeed to melt you into a puddle, not to mention the affection she held for you, it made you feel so extremely blessed to have the trust of such a gleeful child. The excitement was buzzing through your veins and you were hurrying to the destination, impatient to see what Sarang's reaction would be upon having you surprising her. She didn't know that it would be you to pick her up, and any time you had done it this way, her happy shrieks had always filled the playground.

It wasn't much different this time either. When Sarang saw you walking through the gates of her kindergarten, your name had been shrieked from the top of her lungs and before you had even known it, her short arms were circling your leg for a hug. You neither could help the endeared chuckles leaving your lips as you crouched down to her level so that you could bring her into your arms. "And how is my princess doing?" You cooed excitedly while the two of you went to get her things.

"Good!" She exclaimed, though the bright smile soon died down and was replaced by a frown on her lips. "But daddy has been a bit sad," Sarang revealed, the concern for her father was extremely obvious on her soft features.

"Yeah? What has happened to dad, hm?" You were to be disappointed when the girl only shrugged her small shoulders. Usually, you would know better than to worry over things children would say, though Sarang, was extremely mature for her age. Something truly wasn't right if it worried her. "Will you help him?"She suddenly said, begging you with her glossy eyes that prompted you to plant a reassuring kiss on her head. "Of course," You said, "Best friend on a mission!" You formed your hand into a fist and brought it forward as if you were superman, sprinting the way to your car, happy to hear Sarang giggling at the thrilling feeling of the wind against her face.

You had only started parking when Sarang had already begun begging you to let her unlock the door herself since she found it so incredibly fun and fascinating to insert the key into the lock and twist it. With a grin on your face, you fished out the extra pair of keys to their home that Baekhyun had given you from the very start and handed them to her. The metallic gadgets noisily dangled from her fingers while she skipped her way to the front door, bouncing excitedly on her feet when waiting for you so that you could lift her up, she wasn't tall enough after all.

By now, you had spent so much time with Baekhyun and Sarang that you had basically seen her grow, and that meant that you also knew what her routines were every day. Grabbing the sweet flavored yogurt from the fridge together with some fruits, you made her an afternoon snack that would later do its magic on sending her into napping mode. Half an hour later, the little girl was falling into a peaceful slumber, scrambled on the couch while her favorite cartoon played in the background. You couldn't help the smile crossing your lips. She was utterly adorable. With the soft sneers leaving her pouty lips and her long eyelashes casting a long shadow down her rosy cheeks. Ever so carefully, you picked her up in your embrace and almost melted when she automatically nuzzled her face into your neck, fisting your shirt with her little hand. You wouldn't have minded having her nap huddled in your embrace like that, but you found it better for Sarang to sleep on an actual, comfortable bed. So that was where you brought her; to her bedroom, tucked safely in the comfort of her fluffy pink sheets.

An hour had finally passed, and somehow it had felt way slower than it should've, but you figured that it was probably because you had spent it doing absolutely nothing, in a house that wasn't yours. To your relief though, you heard the lock to the door click open and shuffling footsteps entered the apartment. There was no doubt of who it was, without exaggerations, you would always know when it was him. Even the pattern of his footsteps was recognizable to you.

You left the couch to greet him and as soon as you were visible, he discarded the exhausted look from his face, just so that he could warm you up with his smile. The action tugged a tiny part of your chest, he was back from an extremely long day at work and the dark circles underneath his eyes were revealing it all. But nonetheless, he found it more important to make you comfortable with a smile rather than letting you see his exhaustion. In all honestly, you weren't sure whether to find that admirable or scold him because he was putting too much pressure on himself all the time.

"Com' here," You chimed knowingly, gesturing for him to follow you. The man trailed with small footsteps behind you as if a puppy, silently obeying when you gestured for him to sit on the couch while you walked around it. A thankful sigh pushed past his lips when your fingers gently dug into his shoulders, melting the tensing knots underneath his skin that had built during the day.

"How are you?" You murmured, genuinely wanting to know about his day, about his feelings. Whenever you'd ask him this, it would never be out of courtesy. There was just something about Baekhyun's soft, soothing voice telling you about his adventures that made you want to listen to every single word he had to say. But today, your motive was different. As your hands massaged his shoulders, Sarang's words echoed in your head, making you wonder whether Baekhyun would ever feel comfortable enough to talk about it with you. The question was answered by the defeated sigh he let out when throwing his head back against the couch, the crown of his head coming to contact with your abdomen. The gel that had been brushed through his locks was now worn off, barely holding together the wildness of his hair, which only made your fingers painfully long to thread through those chocolate strands of his. Baekhyun's eyes were shut close in exhaustion as he forced himself to speak through the tiredness.

"Sarang caught me in the middle of a breakdown." He confirmed what the little girl had told you earlier, and although the tone in his voice was merely a breathy whisper, you still caught onto the disappointment he felt towards himself. Knowing the man, he was probably considering himself a failure for letting his daughter see him in such a vulnerable state.

"A father is supposed to be a strong figure in their child's eyes, someone who can be strong enough to support them whenever someone who is wise. And yet here I am, failing miserably." Dejection coated his words as he let out the burdens weighing down on his heart. His gentle and fragile heart that had been wounded so deeply. "What do I even do?" He exasperated, "I want to give her everything. I want her to feel safe. I want to give her the mother she has a right to, the peaceful and happy childhood she deserves. But things are just so damn complicated, I-" His breath got caught in his lungs when feeling a familiar overwhelmedness of emotions threatening to crush him.

"How am I going to handle all of that?" It physically pained you to see Baekhyun in such a despaired state. Solely the way he was leaning his elbows onto his knees, stressfully hiding his face in his palm radiated such an amount of anxiousness that could've made you fall into the same pit of darkness just by looking at him. Baekhyun had been there for you every time you had needed him. You were not going to let him down.

Not a second was wasted and by the time he blinked, you were already there next to him. Fingertips running soothingly through his hair while your other hand guided his head to rest on your soft chest, to which he complied immediately. A content yet trembling whimper left his lips at the warmth and comfort of your embrace, his nose traced its way to the crook of your neck where he could inhale the sweetness of your perfume mixed with fabric softener.

"I don't want to be so vulnerable. I'm sorry you're always here to witness me being so weak." Again, Baekhyun couldn't help but resent himself for his overflowing flaws and imperfections he couldn't get a hold of no matter what. "No, don't say that Baekhyun. I'm thankful to be able to be the one helping you in any kind of situation." Perhaps you had let on too much? But this was what you felt. As his best friend, just the thoughts of him being comforted by someone else would spark some kind of jealousy within you, because you wanted to be the one to anchor him at any time.

"Maybe it's time that you start letting new people into your life again?" You pondered out loud while your fingers twirled around Baekhyun's satin-like curly brown locks, earning nothing but a frustrated groan. "Minseok's been saying that for weeks, to try dating and all that." By the irritated undertone in his voice, you could tell that he was indeed not keen on letting new females in his life yet.

"I've been considering it, but I don't want this to turn into Sarang feeling neglected either," Baekhyun expressed his worries while lifting his head from your chest so that he could look at you instead, letting you view the worry swimming in his dark pools.

"It doesn't have to turn out like that, I'll be with Sarang whenever it's needed," You suggested, giving his cheek a gentle caress. With a sigh, he leaned into your touch. "You shouldn't have to do that as often as you already do, she's my responsibility, not yours."

"Baek, you also deserve to find your happiness." At that, all he did was bit his lips, the war in his head visible from his troubled orbs. "Everything will be okay," You assured, "I'll find some impeccable dates for you and we'll start simply, hm? How does that sound?"The male contemplated your proposal with a skeptical look on his face which made you roll your eyes dramatically.

"Oh stop it, you can trust me!"

"Fine, fine."

***

"Wow! Daddy so handsom!!" Came Sarang's high pitched gurgle at the view of her father. You had to second her on that. With his curls resting on his forehead in such a youthful way, the light jeans and the collar of a button-up peeking from the sweater made him look absolutely irresistible. With a chuckle, baekhyun kneeled down to pick the girl up, resting her comfortably on his hip and placing the sweetest kiss on her temple, making you almost squeal out loudly at the view. "Really?" he chimed sweetly, earning a few excited nods, to which he laughed.

"Thank you, princess." Although the fondness in his voice as he spoke to his daughter, the nervousness and distress were limpidly reflecting in his orbs, and you found yourself softening before him, you found absolutely no reason for him to feel all the worry he was feeling.

"Be confident Baekhyun," You said once he'd put Sarang down, letting her run off to play. "You're such a handsome and charming man, with beautiful qualities. You have it all." You murmured with so much adoration and sincerity, maybe even too much because your heart had started swelling in your chest upon speaking such words. The fact that you would always know what he was feeling before him saying it first would never stop astonishing him. Relief washed over his features and he allowed himself to step a little closer. For a second, you thought you had forgotten how to breathe, when his lips had caressed ever so gently to your cheek, pressing one or two kisses before leaning back and eyeing you with a heartbreaking smile that neither you could run away unaffected from, while breathing the sweetest "Thank you," you had ever had directed towards yourself.

After one last brief goodbye, which was the thirteenth as well, he finally left the apartment, leaving you to sigh heavily and praying in your mind that everything could go well. That he wouldn't close himself if the first tries wouldn't work out. You knew that Baekhyun could turn out to be very sensitive after what had happened to him. While keeping him in your mind, you called out of Sarang, and the little girl appeared soon, giggling and smiling she jumped in your arms. "Shall we start our ladies' night!?" You cooed excitedly, prompting her to squeal and gesticulate enthusiastically, her happy antics would never fail to put your worries at bay, spreading nothing but warmth in your chest. The Barbie movie she adored so much had just started playing when she suddenly turned in her embrace, curiosity shining in her droopy eyes that were just like his. You quirked a questioning eyebrow and Sarang let out a small giggle, "Is daddy going to fall in love?" the thought of her dad going out to 'fall in love' as her sweet innocence made her see it, seemed to excite her a lot. A soft smile fell on your lips as a hand caressed her soft tresses gently. "Hopefully," You replied, only thinking that it would be beautiful if he could fall in love, it would be amazing if love didn't come with pain.

It really would be. And you hoped that for Baekhyun who deserved it more than anyone else.

30 minutes into the third movie was when you finally felt your eyes getting droopy. Initially, you had tried making the baby girl go to sleep already after the second movie, but she had insisted to stay awake until her daddy came back and wouldn't take a no for an answer. Until a few moments ago, she had been bouncing like an energetic bunny and you couldn't understand how she had all of that energy when you hadn't even given her any sweets yet. Though now, it seemed as if her body was slowly giving in to the tiredness, but obviously enough, she fought it as hard as she could to finish watching the romantic animated film. You suppressed the laugh at her funny expression, flushed chubby cheeks and brows arched into a frown, her eyes glaring really intensely at the huge TV screen as if it would chase her sleepiness away.

But you ended up being no better as you had ended up falling asleep with her on the couch. Her little body in a fetal position as she had in her sleep snuggled into your laying body. Sarang's head rested on your chest while her tiny fists grabbed onto the hoody enveloping your body, its scent was bound to make her lean closer into it. In fact, it wasn't even yours, you hadn't been able to find a darn blanket in the whole house, and Sarang had been of no help either, but you couldn't blame the girl for not knowing where her dad hid things. And that was why you had stolen one from his closet, choosing the biggest out of them all, knowing that Baekhyun would probably not mind you doing that.

You did not know for how long you had been asleep when you were suddenly woken up by feeling Sarang being lifted from next to you. A loud gasp left your lips as you sat up abruptly, looking around frantically, your mind still numb because of the sleep.

"Hey, shh, it's me," Came a hushed whisper to which you recognized the voice. A gentle hand placed itself on your cheek, turning you to look in their direction. Your eyes were still wide with shock as you eyed the Baekhyun who was currently pressing his lips into a thin line so that he wouldn't let out the laugh in his throat and wake up Sarang. The mischievousness was a permanent glint in his eyes as he then patted down your wild locks.

"Go back to sleep, it's okay," He said with a smirk on his face although his voice was nothing but soothing and gentle. When he saw that you still wouldn't budge from your current position, he shifted the sleeping Sarang slightly in his embrace, reaching out with his hand to your shoulder, pushing you gently to lay back down. "Sleep," He murmured one last time while his hand had traveled from your shoulder to give your cheek that was by now, flushed by the hot temperature, a soft caress that induced your heavy eyelids to droop back close. All you could really decipher at that moment was the question swirling in your head, wondering whether you were going to remember these few interactions tomorrow morning.

***

The sound of your name being called by an angel-like voice reached your ears, though, you were pretty sure it was part of the beautiful dream you were having while basking in the warmth of the sun-rays peeking from the curtains, but most of all, completely immersed in a familiar scent, a homely and ridiculously good one. It wasn't yours, and at the moment you had no idea who it might've belonged to but you knew, in your state of sleepiness that you didn't want to get out of it. Eventually, you were forced out of your sleep when you were shaken awake. You had difficulty opening your heavy eyes but it soon passed when the first thing you saw was his almond-shaped, droopy eyes gazing down at you. It was when a soft smile crept on his lips that you finally realized how you weren't in your own bed, nor the couch you had fallen asleep on yesterday. Mainly, that the sweet, comforting scent you had been engulfed in this time not only derived from the oversized hoody you were wearing but from the fluffy white sheets surrounding you on the king-sized bed you could've only wished you could ever afford.

"Baek," You sleepily whined with disbelief while rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. "You gave me your bed again." You stated. "Why did you move me from the couch? You should've used the bed instead!" First thing in the morning, you found yourself scolding Baekhyun for being overly selfless. You had felt how tense his back had been with knotted muscles just a few days ago, and there he was, giving away a well-needed sleep so that you could've been more comfortable. As much as this could be considered a good quality, you couldn't help but sometimes feel that Baekhyun was way too generous for his own good. The male sitting on the free space next to you on the bed did not even comment on what you had just said, letting your words fade into thin air.

"Did you sleep well?" He questioned instead, blinking his puppy eyes ever so innocently and you could only groan out loudly. "Nggh, I can't handle you," You lamented into the fabric of his hoody. "Don't be like that, you know I like doing these things." Baekhyun insisted.

"Yes, but it shouldn't cost you your health, Baekhyun!" You almost hissed, rasping your dry throat in the process. The slight harshness in your tone managed to quieten Baekhyun who only looked down in his laps.

"But you were so deeply asleep, I couldn't bring myself to wake you up or to let you be uncomfortable on the sofa!" Baekhyun continued to argue after a small moment of silence, his pouty lips tilting into a sulky frown. "Plus...You were starting to drool and that couch isn't exactly cheap, you know," he eventually admitted what might have been his main reason, leaving you to flush deep red with embarrassment, finding no other solution than to hide your face in his pillow. "Why did you tell me that, gosh." you groaned while suppressing the bubbling urge to scream into the pillow as well, but you decided that you had embarrassed yourself enough to do that too.

Baekhyun only giggled in response, muttering a quick: "Just kidding," To which you reacted faster than he'd expected when you threw your pillow at him, earning a girly yell from the almost thirty-year-old man. Suddenly, as if lightning had struck you, you calmed immediately down.

"How did the date go?!" You exclaimed excitedly as you crawled closer to him. Baekhyun seemed startled by your sudden mood swings for a moment but got over it quickly. You understood that something was off when Baekhyun gave you an uncertain cringe in response.

"It went well until I mentioned Sarang," He confessed, finally letting go of his usual worry-free facade and allowing the defeated look he'd been holding back take over his features, shoulders slumping together and eyebrows bent with frustration, forming a crease on his forehead. His pink lips pouty and begging for comfort, but you immediately took your eyes elsewhere to keep your thoughts about Baekhyun's lips at bay. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the main struggle of having an attractive best friend, but that was a story for another time.

"Oh," You cooed, "Baekhyun, it's not your fault, please don't beat yourself up about it." You tried to console him but to no avail. Truthfully, there wasn't much you could do if women were scared away by the fact that he already had a child. But you still tried to ease his worries. Letting out a soft breath, you mustered a smile that you hoped could relieve him, your hand gently rubbing his arm.

"I believe that maybe, you should wait for a few dates in before speaking up about your family, so that the girl can get to know you for you, without any prejudices they may come up with beforehand. Hm?" The suggestion didn't sound illogical as Baekhyun contemplated it, eventually nodding hastily, "You're right," He agreed with a smile.

"Good, then I'll set a date with your next candidate later on today."

***

Every challenge in life was bound to be a bumpy road that would cause one to stumble, and even fall on the way. But never would it be impossible to go through. You had experienced that and strongly stood by that statement. Though, even you felt the tiniest hint of hope slip through your fingers when Baekhyun had one night returned from his date with a second match that you had found him, rather defeated. The girl had right after their first meeting rejected the idea of getting to know him further, and to your relief this time it hadn't been because of Sarang. Somehow, you found yourself appreciating the girl's honesty and confidence, she knew what she wanted and when she didn't find it in Baekhyun (which left you quite baffled because he was perfect) she ended things before they could go too far. It had taken a few tries to convince Baekhyun to not give up, trying to make him understand that sometimes it could take longer to find a great match. The whole blind date situation though slowly started to become less appealing to him. He had sighed heavily when saying that he didn't like to hurry and force such processes in his life that were supposed to take its time to come.

It was because of that when he entered the apartment with a wide grin on his face, you hadn't known better than to excitedly squeal and jump in his arms. You could feel his smile on your skin as he tightened his arms around you.

"Did you get a second date?" You questioned, loosening the hug ever so slightly so that you could take in the joyful expression on his face. The male gave you a dreamy grin and nodded with a childish innocence that made your heart swell with warmth. Something poked into your thoughts, something you couldn't put a finger on. It didn't feel positive, so you waved it away and concentrated on the happiness that hadn't taken place on his face for a long time now.

"I'm so happy for you Baek," You smiled, caressing his arm affectionately, "How was she?" You wondered curiously and his smile seemed to widen at the mention of the amazing girl he had just gone on a date with. You were happy to see this kind of expression display so mindlessly on his beautiful features. He truly deserved to be happy.

"She's beautiful and easygoing, which was such a relief. I felt comfortable right away. All in all, it was like a breath of fresh air. Obviously, I can't either of us have feelings yet, but I think there's a potential between us." Baekhyun explained, and you found a part of his sentence rather relieving- for a reason to you unknown but you decided not to dwell on it.

"I'm glad you liked her, I'm rooting for you!" You cheered with the most delightful expression you could muster, you wanted him to know that whatever he would do, that you would be there to support him. You wanted to see him smile, like this, every day. And if this girl would be the reason for it, then so be it. Thankfulness and adoration swam in his oceans as he took in the bright smile on your face, his expression almost having a sad twinge to it, but perhaps you were just seeing things wrong. Without a warning, he pulled you into another embrace- a silent one and yet so incredibly emotional as he pressed you to his chest, making you wonder where the butterflies fluttering in your belly came from- you had never had them before.

"Thank you." He breathed out, and his long eyelashes caressed the surface of your neck, "I appreciate everything you're doing for me. I want to give you just as much back, I promise that I'll do it."

"Baekhyun." His name tasted as always, just so sweet on your tongue, but as you had a slightly warning tone in your voice, today it felt also a bit sour. "You don't have to do anything. I'm doing this as your best friend because I want to. It's not something you'll owe me later. Okay? Please don't feel that way when you're with me. Whatever I give, just take, take. Please." You could only beg him, for once you wanted to be one to be unconditionally giving to him- it was an urge, a sensation that surged from the deepest part of your heart. Something you had to fulfill.

Tickling. An intense tickling took place in your tummy once again when the male tightened his arms that were laced around your waist, making it possible for you to feel his heartbeat against your raging one. Soon, they melted together into one unstable melody as your heart was beating so incredibly fast- crashing and rebelling against your thoughts, without your permission skipping exciting beats. This hug had by long surpassed the line between friendly and something more.

"No." Baekhyun murmured soothingly into your ear and unwillingly sent shivers thundering down your spine when the tips of his lips brushed ever so slightly against the shell of your ear, leaving no space for interjections.

Why was he like this?

Why was your heart like this? Beating at a speed of a thousand, you couldn't keep up, you felt out of breath.

You couldn't keep up.

***

The third girl you had set up with Baekhyun was just a few years younger than him. The two seemed to have clicked just perfectly as one date had turned into two- and two into three, into regular meets almost every day. Often, you found yourself babysitting the little Sarang, these days barely getting to see the man as he'd be out by the time you'd reach his house. You should've been happy for him, that finally, he had someone who wanted to commit themselves to him, that there was someone who loved making him feel like he mattered, but why was it that there was not even a crumb of happiness in his regards? It drove you to despise yourself, never had you thought that you could've been so cruel, so cold at heart, and for what exactly? For what reason? You missed him, sure, but you didn't believe that explained the clenching fingers clawing at your chest whenever you'd enter his damned house. The joy of babysitting the ray of sunshine had dissipated into nothingness and you had no idea how to make yourself grasp at any kind of motivation to keep going. But a part of you still fought, at least for the little Sarang who deserved anything she could get, truly. You could see it in her now saddened doll-eyes, that she too felt unusually lonely.

The moments where you'd babysit Sarang had morphed into the most dreaded hours of the day. It was as if a part of your conscious insisted for you to fight against the longing toward Baekhyun, a sensation that begged you to stay in your home, telling you that if you refused to help him out- you wouldn't have to deal with that throbbing loneliness and darn pain suffocating your every other emotion. And yet, you couldn't find it in yourself to say no, not to Baekhyun who counted on you so much. After all, you wanted him to feel like he could count on you always, you wanted him to reach out to you like he always did. You wanted him to continue doing that, and then maybe... at some point, he'd remember you were there too.

Pathetic, weren't you after all? So much for denying when it was so clear.

Everything was so clear.

That you wanted him all to yourself. Baekhyun, Baekhyun, Baekhyun. You longed to have his chocolate eyes swarming with warmth directed to you again, you wanted his radiant smile to melt your heart and cover your skin with goosebumps. You wanted his voice calling out to you for more than just a brief greeting. A long, never-ending conversation with just the two of you, on the sofa. That was what you longed for. To simply have back the time the two of you used to spend together. To be that constant in his life.

You fucking missed him, and that was okay, wasn't it? You were best friends after all. Didn't he miss you even a little bit? Now that he'd been distant for so long, didn't he think of his best friend the slightest bit? You felt your heart crack the slightest.

He was just your best friend, but why did it hurt so damn much? When the fuck did things start crumbling above of you?

If you took two paracetamol pills from 500mg, would it be the same as 1000mg? Would they ever be enough to ease the ache in your chest?

Your train of thoughts was interrupted when the screen of your phone suddenly lit up, almost startling you out of your current position on the couch. Currently, you were in the comfort of your home. The device vibrated with an incoming call and a sigh tumbled from your already parted lips.

Speaking of the devil, you thought as you hesitantly picked the phone up, for a moment you considered not answering the call. To let it ring until it would hit the hotline. Would that keep you in his thoughts?- A frown creased your brows as you realized what in the world you were thinking and before you could even evaluate your choice, you had already swiped the green button, answering the call.

It was just a call anyway. Just Baekhyun, it wasn't like something had changed after all.

You had to take a deep breath to steady your unusually nervous heartbeat. "Hello?" You spoke expectantly, finally realizing that it had been a while since he actually called you instead of sending brief texts. "Hey," His voice sounded darker over the phone, you couldn't help but remark, longing for more, the grip on your phone tightened- fingertips turning white.

"I- I know I've been asking you to come very often lately, I know you're probably resting right now and I'm sorry, but I truly need your help- I don't know what to do," Baekhyun sounded so extremely frustrated and distressed as he rambled on insecure words to which you could only frown to as you barely caught a thing he said.

"Baekhyun, calm down," You called soothingly, your voice a mere hushed tone as you knew that if you kept a calm manner, he would too. In fact, not even a second later, you heard the man draw a long breath, and almost, almost, you could see him and his chest deflate slowly as air would escape his pretty lips before you. "Now, tell me what's the matter."

"Sarang is throwing a fit! I-" Baekhyun did not know where to start, his hand gesticulating although you were not there to see him. Disbelief cascaded on his words the more he spoke, you could tell that he was absolutely desperate. "She's in her room and won't talk to me, I don't know what I have done wrong." He sighed defeatedly, "I really don't know." A moment of silence took place before his voice that had shrunken into a small, breakable whisper reached your ears again.

"Please...I really need you..." Your throat went absolutely dry at the plea in his hushed, husky voice and you swallowed whatever was left of moisture in your mouth, but to no avail, as everything was parched. Only a defeated sigh passed through your parted lips as you knew, that you were going to lose yourself in that sensation again. The one that empowered your resistance against him. You felt so lost as your lips parted and spoke on their own, you were drowning. Your lungs completely suffocating when surrounded by the longing for him that was enveloping you like violent waves in a rainstorm.

"I'll be there." The reassuring words had rolled off your tongue without your consent, but a part of you told you that it had been the right thing to do when you heard the relieved hum coming from Baekhyun on the other side. The smile spoke volumes in his voice as he thanked you hundreds of times.

***

Your gaze traveled along the pink door leading to Sarang's room. On its surface hung countless colorful drawings, to which each and all of them sparkled with childish happiness, a youth that manifested in the odd yet fantasy-filled representation of her little self holding Baekhyun's hand. In some drawings, you would even find yourself being present as well, which would never cease to provide you a lovely warmth in your chest.

Teeth dug into your lip while you contemplated your next actions. Baekhyun was standing just a few meters away with a worried frown permanently creasing his soft features while his eyes were unwavering from your figure and you could feel his gaze burning on your back. For some reason, his presence felt ever so slightly unnerving, you were sure that it was because it had been a while since the two of you finally seen each other ever since he started frequenting the girl.

Deciding to not waste any more time, you shot your shot and brought your fist to the door, knocking gently, calmly calling out to the child. "Sarang, It's me, unnie." You started after a few knocks, "Will you let me in?" Your question lingered in the air thickly for a few moments until it completely dissipated. Your lips pressed into a thin line, a bit discouraged. But nonetheless, you insisted. "Why are you sad, baby? Don't you wanna tell unnie?" Coo found its way in your voice, sweet and understanding, inducing the angry child from the other side of the wall to give in. Relief washed over you when the pink door slowly creaked open. Quickly, you sent a glance in Baekhyun's direction from over your shoulder, only to see him smiling softly at the sight of you entering his daughter's room. It was a knowing smile, like he had known exactly what had been needed when Sarang had refused him. A sweet warmth crawled in your chest, eventually spreading lovingly into every inch of your body and you found yourself smiling despite the situation.

The child had her back facing you and her small shoulders slumped downwards while her tiny fists tightened next to her sides, fingers gripping onto her puffy dress. You felt the previous warmth in your chest immediately get replaced by a cold, heartbreaking pain clenching at your heart. Oh, how you despised to see the ray of sunshine burn out like this. If something had managed to take that toothy smile from her features then it meant something, or, someone had truly hurt her feelings.

With your legs crossed on the floor, you reached out of her fist and gently untangled her fingers from the tight hold. "Sweetie," You cooed, "Who made you sad? Who should I scold, hm?" Your voice was only a mere whisper as Sarang let her herself be guided to your chest, eventually nuzzling into it once enveloped by your arms, and your heart was to be broken when she burst into subtle sniffles, indicating that she was shedding tears. "Oh honey," You soothed while running your hands through her slightly knotted tresses, her little body shook in your arms and you could only bring her closer to your chest. "What's wrong honey, please tell me or unnie will cry too." The words seemed to convince her because when you leaned away to cup her chubby cheeks with your warm palms, she let you. Her droopy puppy eyes were puffy and red with tears as she sadly blinked her long, wet lashes at you. Her flushed cheeks crystalized by the salty water.

"D-daddy," She started but struggled to speak as the hiccups bubbling in her throat were strong and overpowering, shaking her small body. "Daddy don't play with Sarang no more, he dun love Sarang no more." Upon speaking the last sentence Sarang broke into tears again, letting out ugly cries filled with heartbreak and sadness.

"Sweetheart! Why are you talking like that, you know daddy loves you. He always will." You assured but deep inside you couldn't help but wonder what this whole situation was all about, you knew that Sarang wouldn't even utter such words if it wasn't for a valid reason.

She shook her head furiously, her eyebrows bending into a sulky frown, her lips pouty and pointing downward. "Dad only talks with other unnie, he forgets about Sarang." The tears were still pooling in her eyes and slowly trailing down her kissable cheeks. It pained you to listen to what she was saying, although you knew that she was innocently exaggerating some details. It didn't take a genius to realize it, children had strong emotions and experienced things very animatedly.

"I don't want daddy to fall in love anymore." A great portion of your conscious was screaming that this was your fault after all. It was only because of you if Baekhyun had met new people, leading him to spend lesser time with his daughter. But even if you apologized to the child, she wouldn't completely understand the connections, so you settled with caressing her cheeks, with your thumb, and brushed away the tear stains.

"Sarang," A soft smile blossomed on your lips as you thought about how much Baekhyun adored Sarang. "Daddy loves you so much, more than anyone else. But sometimes he too can get caught with other people. It's normal, do you understand that?" She nodded hesitantly. "Since daddy is forgetful, and a bit dumb too," You playfully whispered the last part, prompting her to let out a giggle although her glossy eyes. "He needs someone like Sarang to remind him whenever too much, is too much. Would you do that for him, Sarang?" This time, the little girl seemed far brighter as he bobbed her head up and down, soon a smile taking place on her lips. "Then go tell daddy why you are angry now, go scold him. Grr!" You growled playfully and formed your hands into claws, to which she imitated gleefully, repeating the sound of a little tigress.

When her happy gurgles had died down, Sarang crossed her arms on her chest in a fierce demeanor and pouted angrily. You raised an amused brow and had to press your lips together so that you wouldn't laugh. "Do I look scary?" She whispered secretly, curiosity and question marks sparkled within her orbs and you nodded enthusiastically, ushering her to step outside where Baekhyun had been waiting all this time, probably nerve-wracked.

The man's face brightened like the sun when Sarang stepped out of her room with you following close behind. Without wasting a single second, he crouched on the floor and opened his arms for her to step inside them, but was caught off guard when Sarang intimidatingly crossed her arms over her chest just like she had done with you two minutes ago. " I am angry at daddy!" She spouted right in his face, not bothering to put it into a nicer way. Baekhyun was shocked, almost scandalized for that matter and you had to drill your teeth into your lip to not burst into laughter.

"B-baby- what?" He stammered, clearly taken aback. His arms that had been inviting her into a hug slowly fell limp next to his sides.

"Daddy, you always go out and forget about Sarang." The child pointed out to the father whose eyes widened with realization, regret slowly but surely taking over every inch of his being.

"I feel like daddy don't care about me no more," The anguish burst through the tough behavior that she had tried to pull off in the begging, the playfulness by now long gone and both you and Baekhyun saw how her already swollen eyes had started to water again. Baekhyun felt like her heart had broken right in his hands and he felt so angry at himself, disappointed. So much for being a better father, only for it to hurt the most important person in his life.

"Oh sweetheart, I-" Even he choked on the lump in the throat, tears immediately reached his waterline to blurry out his view. You felt like you weren't supposed to stand right there and witness such a scene, but it wasn't like you could leave either.

"I am so sorry," He gasped and desperately reached out for Sarang who thankfully did not move away and instead let her father embrace her. His face was nuzzled into her little shoulder while his beautiful hand was in a constant caressing motion at the back of her head, whispering sorrowful apologies to her ears.

"I- I just wanted you to be happier, I wanted to find someone so that you could have a mommy again. But instead, I hurt you, and daddy is so sorry, will you forgive him?" Baekhyun explained to his girl while rocking their bodies slowly from side to side, his voice by now weak and threatening to break at any second. Sarang abruptly leaned away from his chest, wearing a disbelieved frown on her face.

"But Sarang don't need a mommy! Sarang has daddy and unnie, is enough!" She scolded her own dad for not knowing any better although she had made it clear to him that having a mother wasn't a necessity at this point, yet not truly understanding that Baekhyun needed someone to love him that way. She was indeed, still too young for that conversation. However, the male tried to put it in a simpler way.

Ever so gently, he tucked a few strands of her hair behind her ear, a tender, an extremely sweet smile blossomed on his lips, and even just seeing him making that face was enough for the butterflies to wildly flutter their wings against the walls of your tummy. You wanted to look away but you simply couldn't, he was like the sun, and like its flower, you kept yourself gazing at him.

"Sarang, sweetheart." He initiated calmly, "I know that is how you feel, and dad is happy that you are content." His voice was soothing, a mere feather running along with your ears as he pronounced each and every word slowly so that he was sure that she could understand all of it. Not so subtly, he looked up at you and met your magnetic gaze before continuing. "However, even people like daddy and unnie need someone who loves them as a mother and father does to each other," Baekhyun concluded and guided his eyes towards his daughter again, who seemed to get a hold of the concept he was. Although not completely happy with the answer, she nodded understandingly, looking down at her feet and in the process cast a faint shadow of her lashes down her apple round cheeks.

"Thank you for understanding, Sarang. I love you, baby." Baekhyun sincerely said before trapping the little girl in his embrace again, extremely joyful about the fact that she had wrapped her short arms around his neck back. She had forgiven him.

"What do you think about a movie night? Every day for the next week?" He then suggested enthusiastically, approving the thought of canceling a couple of dates with the girl. After all, he had every right to spend time with his daughter. It was about time that he started setting his priorities straight again. Little Sarang let out an excited squeal that made Baekhyun flinch back and painfully hold his ear while he cringed at the bouncing girl in his arms. Relief settled onto your heart while watching the forgive each other, not stopping the soft smile from crawling on your lips.

With a satisfied sigh, you excused yourself. "Well then, I'll take my leave." You announced briefly and readied yourself to reach the front door. Baekhyun and Sarang stopped playing with each other and unintentionally whined at the same time, in the same way, making you crack up the slightest. Baekhyun scrambled to his feet and hurried to stand in front of you, a shy look crossing his delicate face, making you want to just- cup his cheeks so bad and just shower them with lov- No. Contain yourself.

"No, don't leave."

"Huh?

"Stay. After all, it is thanks to you that we solved this matter." Baekhyun proposed with a proud smile on his lip, one that you couldn't reciprocate. You shook your head in disagreement.

"No, Baekhyun. It's my fault that this happened." You said dejectedly, finding a sudden interest in your shoes, missing the disapproving frown that Baekhyun had upon hearing your words.

"Hey," He had beckoned lowly, ever so slightly warningly as his gentle fingers had to your surprise, clasped around your chin, tilting your face upwards so that you could meet his sincere orbs. They were pooling with such raw emotions that overwhelmed you, crashed upon you even though you couldn't figure out a single one of them. The warmth from his delicate fingertips seeped into your skin and yet, that sudden proximity still managed to send shooting starts down your spine.

"That is absolutely not true." Baekhyun murmured, "Please don't feel that way." You had no idea if it had been your eyes playing hallucinating, but at one point, his dark, droopy gaze had fallen from your eyes to the south of your face. The action was subtle, perhaps could've been seen as innocuous, but it set your heart on fire, it went crashing against your ribs- rebelling against your thoughts and begging to burst through your chest. He was too close and you found yourself completely unable to get a hold of your emotions. You had felt how the tongue had tied itself into a knot in your mouth, cold sweat prickling at your skin. Why he was having such a dramatic effect on your body, you couldn't tell and it frustrated you so much- to not function properly in his proximity. Since when had things become this way?

"Just stay and watch a few movies with us, it's been a while anyways. We... I miss having you around." The pleading in his voice was genuine and it didn't fail to squeeze your heart longingly, you felt so damn wanted at that moment that despite your hesitant self, you still found yourself nodding at his request. You had waited for the moment he'd ask you to spend time with him again, where it could just be you, him, and the little Sarang. Maybe, he hadn't completely forgotten about you completely after all. A relieved and thankful smile bloomed on Baekhyun's pretty lips as you agreed, his hands immediately reached for yours like it was all they had ever longed for, taking you to the living room.

The title of the movie appeared proudly on the Tv screen as you and Sarang entered the living room. Baekhyun had dragged you there right away, but you had insisted to get Sarang in her pajama before doing anything else. The man was already sprawled on the couch in his light blue pajama, its slight oversize made his portions shrink in the silky fabric, nonetheless looked immaculate. With his brown hair looking absolutely soft and caressive and a soft hue spreading on his shiny cheeks, a color that made your eager fingers twitch in the urge to reach out and touch them. His skin that always looked so flawless no matter from where you gazed, you wondered if it was as soft as it seemed, or if it also was surrounded by a gentle scent of lotion-like his pretty hands often were. You knew because your skin was now bearing a certain fragrance that he had transmitted to you when holding your hand in his. For some reason, you couldn't stop concentrating on the flowery scent now emanating from your hands.

If you'd smell it from close- you'd probably get drunk on it. On him.

Had you just admitted that?

Sarang was radiating excitement as she ran to the couch, jumping on it like the bunny she was and snuggled immediately next to Baekhyun who wordlessly brought her closer, placing an affectionate kiss on her crown. Teeth were drilled in your lip as you took a seat, for your own sanity keeping a distance that usually wouldn't be there. Sitting by the end of the couch, you earned two confused looks from both Baekhyun and Sarang.

Baekhyun looked you up and down with an incredulous look, almost mockingly as he chuckled out loud. "What are you doing," He deadpanned, leaning across the couch to grip your arm. "You're acting weird today," Baekhyun pointed out, " just come here." He chimed as he with a gentle force dragged you next to him, throwing an arm around your shoulders so that you wouldn't escape. "There we go," He hummed contently, tightening his hold around you and Sarang who was in your same position but on the opposite side. For a moment you went completely frozen in your spot, the parts of your body that brushed his was all you could concentrate on. How scorching hot his skin was on yours, scalding you. As if you were the fuel, it took Baekhyun only a single touch for you to turn into a fire. It was as if the air in your lungs had been sucked out within a mere second, leaving you to gasp for oxygen. He- Baekhyun was so close, too close. He really shouldn't be so forward with you, putting his hand on your hip and gripping it casually, you wished you could tell him to take it easy on you, that you couldn't handle it if he did that kind of things. Your heart was weak, so extremely weak and already beating at such a speed, you feared it'd combust. You feared that he would feel it drumming and vibrating like a bass through your shaking body. And yet, you couldn't bring yourself to move away.

You couldn't bring yourself to even articulate a single word, there was a whole dance school going on in your belly.

You were melting in his embrace, and you wanted to.

"My princesses," Baekhyun cooed, his voice sounded as if it was dripping with honey and affection when he pressed another kiss to Sarang's head, and to your utter, beautiful disbelief, on yours too. Baekhyun's lips that you had never expected to ever have anywhere near your skin were now tenderly pressing a fond kiss to your temple. When he leaned slightly away, his candy scented breath melted into your skin before he closed the gap once again and pecked you once more, making you straight out tremble. Baekhyun's nape was right next to your nose as you had allowed yourself (despite your nervous body) to cuddle into him like he had wanted you to, and you had to fight the urge to lean in and run your nose down his neck and breathe in the dazing scent coming from his fresh skin. There wasn't a single second where your whole being hadn't craved to drift even closer to him that night.

After a while, Sarang finally fell into a deep slumber in the arms of her father. It had been predictable that she wasn't going to last much longer, all that crying had for sure drained her energies. Baekhyun got up to put her to sleep, but soon returned and sat back on his spot. Not forgetting to make sure he could have his body in contact with yours, and so the two of you continued to watch movies until the late night.

***

As slumber was slowly leaving your body, all you could subconsciously remark was that you hadn't slept this well in a long time. A few parts of your body were aching due to the awkward position that you weren't completely aware of yet. A content, lazy smile was on your lips when your body became conscious of the comforting warmth provided, it was combining with your own and crawling soothingly to reassure every inch of your body. But the more you slipped into awakeness, although your eyes were still closed shut with sleep, you realized that it wasn't really a blanket keeping you warm as you had believed just a few moments ago. Frowning groggily, you slowly allowed your eyes to flutter open, meeting one of the most breathtaking scenes you had ever taken part of. For a moment all you could think was that there was an angel lying next to you, an angel was holding you in his arms and he looked beautiful as if he had stepped out of a painting and blessed you with his presence.

In the span of a few seconds, your heartbeat had sped up, only to sooner calm down, its excitement morphing into a warmth that allowed flowers to bloom in your tummy. Their petals were tickling you and their roots were carving the beautiful letters of his name into your heart. His wavy hair was messily scattered over his forehead, on his crown it stuck into every direction but nonetheless- beautiful. A beautiful mess. Baekhyun's lips were slightly parted as soft sneers tumbled out of them. The eyelashes were glittering in the golden rays of the sun peeking through the blinders, like small diamonds adorning a ring. Their length reached the flushed apples of his cheeks, kissing them and casting a sweet shadow. You smiled fondly at the innocent view, at the warm blush that traveled from his left cheek, up the bridge of his nose and onto the right cheek, a soft hue that made him look so gorgeously young. His face completely free of any frown, indicating that he was having a peaceful sleep. Like he wasn't carrying so many struggles on his own, he looked like a carefree kid having his afternoon nap.

You felt yourself melting before him, Baekhyun's limbs were hugging your hips close to himself and his hands lazily claimed your waist while his fingertips teased the exposed skin of your back. The organ in your chest swelled, filling itself with so much affection and raw emotions, it swelled and swelled until you felt it pounding against your ribs. As if it was begging to break free and intertwine itself with Baekhyun's. Your eyes traced his tender features as he slept, so peaceful and mild, you wished the world could stop in this instant so that you could forever share this warmth with him. So that you could forever be embraced by his strong arms, protected, loved. So that you could forever bask in his scent that was sweet and soapy, mixed with the freshness of wood.

Another smile found its way on your lips as you pondered.

Indeed, loving Baekhyun was as easy as hating the cops.

Indeed-

Loving...

Loving Baekhyun.

The realization hit you like an ice-cold waterfall cutting through your body, air hitching inside of your throat as your eyes widened like saucers. Suddenly the flowers blooming in your chest felt like thorns scratching and cutting your insides. No, oh fuck no.

You should've known that the butterflies had been a red flag all along. With your chest heaving for oxygen, you re scrambled from your laying position, making Baekhyun stir awake at the sudden violent movements.

You liked him... No, you fucking loved him. You loved Baekhyun so much and it was so fucked up that you were helping him get together with someone else instead of making your feelings clear for him.

You had no idea why you felt so unnerved all of a sudden, but your thoughts were swirling all over your the place into a jumbled mess, making you breathless and utterly confused, all you knew was that you needed to leave the house and just getaway. Get away from him.

The heart jumped all the way to your throat when his voice suddenly ringed through the walls. Husky and tired, it called your name questioningly, making you freeze in your steps as you saw him entering the hallway you were standing in.

"What's going on?" He yawned, "Where are you going?"He pouted, which you really couldn't handle at the moment. Even in your panicked state, your brain found a way to remark how unfairly adorable Baekhyun was at the moment, rubbing the sleep out of his eye, the paw of his hand peeking from the oversized sleeve while standing there like a confused puppy. In his question lingered an unspoken request for you to stay longer, but at the moment all you really needed was some alone time to accept this new realization.

"I..." You had no idea what to say for yourself and you hoped he wouldn't dig too deep. "I have to go to work! Oh my God, I am actually very late- shit!" The words that left your trembling lips were completely random and made no sense as you started wearing your shoes and picked up your bag. Movements were extremely messy and rushed. Stupid! You cursed yourself, it was a freaking Sunday and there was no way Baekhyun was going to believe that. Despite the confused (and adorable) frown causing a tiny crease on his forehead, he didn't question it. It seemed like your hasty behavior had been enough to fool his groggy self.

"Will you come by next week?" Baekhyun then asked before you could curl your hand against the handle. Suddenly it felt like the lump in your throat had grown inches- and kept on expanding as another realization dawned on you.

He had told you just last night how he would be having another date next week since he had postponed the one from yesterday to focus more on his daughter. And you had, with a smile, agreed.

You would be going to his house, only for him to exit it, to meet another woman, and this fact that hadn't given you more than a little twinge in your chest yesterday was now devastating you.

Baekhyun was already entering another relationship- and although you had known that, until today, it had never meant anything to you. But now all of a sudden, you did bother because you knew that you so much wanted to be that girl he would be smiling at- and perhaps even kissing every day. Gosh, you wanted him all for yourself but wishing was so fucking useless at the moment. You had already thrown away your chance and Baekhyun already belonged to someone. And that someone was not you.

Nothing had been established and yet it still felt like your heart was breaking. Even so, why was it so damn painful? Why did it need to feel like someone was ripping it to shreds, clenching it with no mercy? Perhaps, because as beautiful as love could seem, be and feel, it was bound to hurt you just as much when gone wrong.

Be aware of butterflies, they had said, because they'll break your heart.

To pieces.

It had always sounded ridiculous to you, but there you were experiencing the exact thing. Your heart was crumbling, falling in the pit of your stomach as your teeth drew blood from your lips to stop them from trembling. All you could offer the man was a nod before escaping behind the door because the last thing you could trust at that point was your voice.

Although now outside, the fresh air did not help your suffocating lungs as you gasped out the sob that you had been holding in for the entire time in there. Tears blurred your view but you furiously dried them with your sleeve as you hurried over to your car. The fabric of your jacket rubbing against your eyes hurt more than what you had thought and you found yourself cursing under your breath, cursing everything you had done and everything that came into your view. It did not make you feel better at all. What were you supposed to do when everything you had was crumbling upon you?

A weight had laid itself upon your chest from the very moment you had opened that door of his, and you knew, that it was going to be with you for a while.

***

The week was rushing by and although you had done nothing but immerse yourself in your job to forget and concentrate on other things that weren't the pain in your chest and the desperate longing for his presence, you still felt as if nothing had changed. It still felt like that Sunday where you had left Baekhyun's property with tears in your eyes had yet to come to an end. Indeed, the week passed by and you followed your routine, but no matter where your body would go during the days, your mind wouldn't budge from that one morning where for a few moments, everything had been so perfect and ever so ethereal, only for it to be like a window busted by a rock.

You were frustrated with yourself because you couldn't wrap your head around it and let it go. It was all you wanted at the moment, to just accept things as they were and end this pain. But your heart was stubborn like you had never asked it to be. So loyal to that boxy and toothy smile of his. Friday was nearing and your heart could just race anxiously at the reminder of babysitting Sarang. You were nowhere ready to face him again, the part of you who was a coward secretly hoped that Baekhyun would be out by the time you'd arrive so that you could indulge solely in Sarang's warm smile. It'd be just helpful if you could forget his at some point, that would hurt a lot less, wouldn't it?

What hurt even more, was how you knew, that he was clueless about all of this pain he was causing you, and you couldn't put a single blame on him.

It had been you, after all.

***

Friday, a little over 6 pm. Perhaps you had come a bit late on purpose, but you wouldn't admit that to yourself as you stood in right before his front door and swung nervously on the balls of your feet. Conflicted between knocking or just entering casually as you normally would. If you knocked, it wasn't like the little Sarang would be tall enough to open the door, but what if Baekhyun would supposedly still be at home for whatever reason when you went in? That would feel even more awkward and-

Your hand twitched and before you knew it, you had already swung the door open, as if your body was fed up with your overthinking and took matters into its own hands. Quite literally. Well, no turning back now, you encouraged yourself and walked in while muttering a small I'm here. It was odd to not have a bubbly Sarang running with all her might to latch her arms around your legs and give you the happiest greeting. Instead, you were met with deafening silence, though you knew that you weren't alone in the house as it had been unlocked. The more you walked your way inside, the clearer the noise of glasses clinking against each other became. Rounding the corner, you were met with the last thing you had expected to see. A defeated Baekhyun arranging liquors and alcoholic drinks on the table, a few shot glasses stood unused by the bottles and you supposed that he hadn't even gotten started yet. You completely forgot about the worries that had been eating you up just a few seconds ago and walked over to him, grabbing his wrist before he could pour himself the string liquid you knew he couldn't handle.

"What are you doing?" You regretted how accusing your question had come out, but soon your cleared your throat and spoke again, "Why are you here at home, what about Sarang?" This time you spoke softly and allowed your gaze to lock with his confused one that within a matter of seconds filled with realization. A groan left his lips as he buried his face into his palms.

"Sorry, I forgot to tell you, I dropped her at my mother's, you actually didn't need to come." Baekhyun seemed incredibly apologetic and regretful as he explained himself, but you couldn't bring yourself to concentrate on those emotions when his droopy orbs were swirling with something far more sorrowful. His eyes were dark, and deep like oceans and anyone else wouldn't have been able to read him at this moment. But you had dived into those eyes of his so many times before, you knew better than to believe that those lines of lack of sleep tracing his features were merely because of his exhausting job. Worry crawled into you and you took a seat in front of him, hesitantly brushing your fingertips against his only to feel the urge to flinch because they weren't as warm as they'd usually be when holding onto you.

"Baekhyun, what's wrong?" The question on its own managed to crack the facade he often wore to not worry anyone around him and to make himself believe he was fine when in reality he was anything but that. His eyebrows bent in sorrow and his eyes turned ever so slightly glossy, making a lump grow in your throat.

"I messed up," He confessed under his breath, his whisper breaking in the middle of his sentence. Baekhyun's hands were frustrated as they gripped at his hair, pulling slightly as he puffed out a desperate breath. "It's over. " A small tear escaped his eye and he growled frustratedly, drying it harshly. "As soon as she knew about Sarang she cut the ties. What am I going to do at this point?!" He was on the verge of shouting, "I am not good enough for anyone, I'm so fucking done." You could see his adam's apple bobbing, reasonably attempting to swallow down the sob threatening to spill from his lips because he didn't need another person to witness him being weak for the millionth time.

No, please, don't ever say that. You wanted to tell him so bad, but you were such a coward, it was like your lips were sealed. When another tear traveled down his cheek, you finally found it in yourself to scramble out of your seat and sit next to him instead, taking his face into your trembling hands and shaking your head with disagreement.

"That is so not true, Baekhyun." You murmured brokenly. The fact that he would even for a second believe such a lie made you want to burst into tears. He was so beautiful, he was anything that someone could want in a person and more. It was so unfair that he didn't know. Baekhyun's expression was indecipherable even to you as he stared into your eyes with such seriousness, eventually tracing your features and you could feel his eyes dance all over your face.

Baekhyun cleared his throat after what seemed to have been five whole minutes, but really, had been a lot less. His hands gently pried yours from his cheeks and placed them back in your lap, eyeing the things he had set on the table before you had come. With a sigh, he uttered:

"Shall we have a couple of drinks?" The question was so out of the blue and yet managed to crack you up, and he smiled slightly too when he saw you doing it. You nodded.

Why not? He wasn't the only emotional one, and you had no idea what would be the outcome if the two of you got drunk together, but at the moment you couldn't care less. It finally felt as if that weight was slowly lifting itself from your chest, so all you could do was continue on this road you had ended upon.

***

Laughter and giggling were filling the once quiet walls of his home, Baekhhyun had just sputtered one of his stupid jokes that really, shouldn't have been as funny as it had seemed now that you were influenced by alcohol. Yet, you found yourself laughing intensely enough to have tears spring in your eyes. The man wore a proud grin on his face upon having you laugh so freely because of something he said. You weren't completely drunk just yet- but tipsy enough to have that warm hue crawl along your face, giving both of you a shy look, but that shy look secretly hid a sudden braveness that only came with the strong drink. One that made you feel the bravest you've ever been, at the same time as an enhanced version of yourself, possibly, a little out of yourself too. But it didn't matter anymore.

Your loud voices eventually died down and Baekhyun leaned his head onto the table when hit by a sudden wave of sleepiness and dizziness. His cheek squashed against its surface and in the process hid his eye as he faced you in his position. He looked at you and you gazed back, leaning onto your palm to take in his every detail, only to feel a sudden sense of unfairness surge within you, anger sparked in your chest as you picked up your beer bottled and swung it in the air while gesticulating.

"I don't understand!" Your loud voice made the sleepy male flinch back awake, he eyed you with big eyes and question marks popping above of his head. "You!" You pointed an accusatory finger in his direction and the confused male winced once again, not knowing what to expect from you, whether he'll feel offended or confused by the possible nonsense about to leave your mouth. But that wasn't really it.

"You're so beautiful." The statement was nothing like what he had expected you to say and the shock was evident on his flushed face. The more you looked at his pink cheeks, the more you wanted to squish his them together and press your lips to his plump ones that currently looked like your favorite lollipop flavor. "And I do not understand how three women in a row rejected all this good that you are! Like can't they see?!" You slurred and pointed at him once more. "

"Byun Baekhyun, if I was them, I would've already been your girlfriend, loving both you and Sarang. They are dumb. They are dumb, you hear me?!" Your voice was slightly high-pitched as you spoke, the words you were uttering were making your heart beat faster because you knew that you were basically confessing, but the sudden braveness was clouding your senses. All you could think about was that you wanted him to know.

"You are perfect- Byun Baekhyun," Your head dropped gently on the table right in front of his and the table felt cool on your cheek which made you feel more awake. Not enough to back away though. "Repeat after me," You ordered, without realizing the meaningful look that Baekhyun was manifesting in his starry eyes while following your every movement.

"I am perfect-" You felt yourself freeze when suddenly consciousness was knocked into you with the simple caress of Baekhyun's strawberry breath on your cheeks. Without a warning, he had scooted closer to you, his hand reached out for your own and thunders seemed to spark from his fingertips as they met yours, gently tracing your palm and intertwining your fingers with his beautiful ones. From a little more than tipsy to completely sober in the span of a few seconds, it was absolutely odd but even so, you couldn't find it in yourself to willingly move away. Because you didn't want to.

Butterflies fluttered in your belly- and the sensation brought you to fear, however, Baekhyun's familiar scent fell on you like the warmest, most comforting blanket, and you soon forgot about anything that wasn't him. His face from this close was like the most precious treasure, you loved how you could count his lashes from this nearness, being able to see the texture of his skin or stare at your own reflection in his sparkling, adoring mirrors.

As much as those features of his were mesmerizing, nothing could even remotely come close to those pink lips of his that glistened under the dim kitchen lights has he darted a slow, and careful tongue across them, and the action made a foreign heat gather in your core. Unconsciously, your legs pressed together. You wanted them on yours so bad. His breath on your mouth was teasing and making you impatient. Teeth dug into your lip as you held back the urge to close the distance, Baekhyun was just taking his time studying yours as if he had to find the perfect way to kiss them with, eyes hooded with desire. A wave of disappointment washed over you when you felt his hand untangle from yours, but it didn't last long as he soon enough had already cupped your cheek with it. He wasted no time in bringing his thumb to your caged lips and released them from the hold of your teeth, letting them fall apart and vulnerable. They were pulsing eagerly, longing for his to devour them.

His thumb still held the fine edge of your lower lip as he inched closer, expanding it and feeling its soft texture with his pad. You watched his eyelids fall over his orbs as he gently licked the part of your lips that he was pulling and the gasp you let out at the sensation melted on his caressing tongue. His wet pillows stuck to yours like sticky glue as he finally pressed them against yours. A trembling sigh left your lips when you finally got what you wanted. He shifted from the table without parting your lips, keeping you engaged in the hungry kiss. You hadn't even noticed how he had dragged you up to your feet only so that he could press you against the nearest wall and press his scorching body against yours. Baekhyun's teeth dug softly into your lip before soothing it with a suck, later dragging his lips down your jaw, your neck, and painted your skin with his tickling kisses. The heat in your core could only grow as his hands traced every inch of your body, thumbs pushing the fabric of your shirt so that they could draw circles on your hips.

He panted against your collarbone at the pleasant feeling of your lips on his ear and your heart swelled when his arms hugged your waist instead of touching it sensually as he had done a few seconds ago. Without a warning, he kissed you square on the lips once again, but you complied joyfully. "Jump, please," He muffled against your swelling lips, and you did, lacing your legs around his torso. His hand traced the lower part of your thighs, coming to rest on your bum. Although your clothes were separating you, his touch still felt like it burned on your skin. It made you feel alive as it traveled underneath your shirt, spreading on your back. Taking its time to feel every pattern of your flesh, bones. Like you were the most beautiful canvas and his fingers' the brushed itching to paint it.

Everything that was happened felt slow, but at the same time like a blur. Your head was spinning around as you suddenly found yourself in his bedroom, shakily unbuttoning his shirt. Your fingers were trembling uncontrollably, barely pushing the buttons out of the hole. Warmth crept on your cheeks because you were taking so long, but you couldn't help the excitement buzzing so violently through your body. You thought Baekhyun had gotten enough of your incapability when he suddenly grabbed your hands, stopping you from continuing. But Baekhyun had always been full of surprises. Your heart squirmed affectionately when he brought your hands to his face. "It's okay," He had murmured ever so gently as he pressed feathery kisses on your fingertips, lips enveloping your digits.

"I- I'm sorry," You stuttered, completely out of yourself as you resumed unbuttoning, this time successful, "It just feels like I'm unwrapping a gift I've been waiting for my whole life." You admitted quietly, hesitantly placing your hands on his sturdy shoulders, slowly pushing down his shirt, stripping him of it. His body was warm and tense underneath your touch, muscles hard and strong.

A sweet chuckle resonated through the walls and you wished you could've replayed it a thousand times again. The sun had set hours ago, leaving the bright full moon to paint his features in its silver, glittering linings. He looked even more mesmerizing than this morning, he just never stopped growing beautiful.

Baekhyun found it impossible not to kiss your flushed cheeks at your nervous antics. Pressing his forehead against yours, he let your hands go, just so that he could trace his finger along your protruding collarbone, eventually hooking around your spaghetti strap. "Can I?" He asked carefully, and you thought he never would've. You nodded and he wasted no time, face nuzzling into the crook of your neck, he lifted the hem of your shirt. A kiss was pressed to your shoulders before he leaned away so that you could lift your arms, helping him.

"My beautiful," He breathed out at the view of your naked torso, eyes brimming with adoration and affection like you truly were the most wonderful person he had ever seen, "Beautiful darling."

You had no idea how a moment could be such a blur but at the same time feel like the while you've been more alive than ever. From when his hands had explored your naked body, bosom swelling in his tender palms, giving him the chance to feel your beating heart pulsating against his fingers. His lips whispering the sweetest nothing's into your ear as he made sure you knew that you were beautiful. The moment you had been able to do just the same with him, giving him sensations to remember and treasure. Sensations that only you and he could ignite from each other. Becoming one important thing together, one wonderful thing.

One.

***

It was late in the morning, but you felt like you could sleep for another ten hours. You felt completely exhausted as you stirred awake, stretching your limbs ever so slightly, only to wince at the sore sensation taking place in the lower parts of your body. Of course, you remembered. Although you had been under the influence of alcohol, there would've never been a chance that you would forget such a moment. Hence, you were happy, so happy that you felt tingles crawling through your body, shooting stars flying down your spine. Your whole being was like a starry night as you woke up to Baekhyun eyeing you with those droopy eyelids hooding lazily over his orbs. His arm was hugging your bare waist and he was staying in the position that he had woken up in, that alone should've been to answer your every question, but still, you felt the need to hear it from him. Though, before you could even open your mouth, Baekhyun had already beat you to it.

"I have to apologize."

What? Your heart fell to the pit of your stomach and you felt how the anxiety was crawling at every edge it could grip.

"I, I apologize for making love to you when I wasn't sober- I"

Making love.

Not sex. Love.

"Baekhyun. I love you." It was like his voice had been sucked back into his throat as you interrupted him with the words. "Do you regret what we did?" You continued, and Baekhyun looked taken aback, to say the least, but he recovered quickly and shook his head with a soft smile blossoming on his lips.

"As I was saying, " He chuckled, "It's hard for me to wrap my head around the way everything happened. But I don't regret a single thing I said, neither anything I did." What he was saying settled a blissful relief in your chest and your eyes couldn't find something to settle on his beautiful face. Whether to gaze into his endless oceans or watch his swollen lips speak, or maybe the tiny moles scattered all over his face.

"I've been feeling it for a while. That I was just fooling myself, and those women I went out with. Because as amazing as they were, I realized that there isn't anyone else I'd like to spend my days apart from you." Honey dripped from his lips, indeed his words were too sweet, but they were directed towards you, and that solely felt like you were stepping onto could nine.

"Nobody knows me like you do," He murmured as he pressed a palm to your flushed cheek, the pad of his thumb drawing lazy circles on it. "Nobody loves Sarang like you do,"

"How could there ever be someone else when you're here, loving everything I am including my flaws, probably knowing me better than I do myself." He chuckled with disbelief as if he couldn't believe that he had actually tried to chase other women when the only one for him had been next to him all along.

"And as I've realized that I...That I love you, I won't apologize that our first time wasn't when I was completely aware and sober." Baekhyun pleaded for forgiveness, shifting so that he could hover over you, the blanket slipped down his naked body, exposing him slightly. But the truth was that you weren't angry at all.

"And I hope you'll let me do it again, but this time I'll do it right." He dipped his head down to murmur against your lips.

"Will you let me?" His hand had caressed along the lines of your body, fingers gently prying the cover from your bodies. In his eyes shone so much love, so much desire to show it all to you, how much you meant to him.

"You don't have to ask," You replied sweetly, already welcoming the petals dancing in your tummy, loving the traces of warmth his hands left on you, how he took his time to explore every inch of you so that he could know you like no one else did. So that he could love you like no one else did.

"Daddy!!!" Sarang's high pitched giggle cut through the thick tension that had built up between the two of you, prompting Baekhyun to look down at you with a terrified expression taking over his face.

"Daddy I'm home! Let's play!"

"You should go," You teased while laughing at him, to which he gave you a playful glare, a bit disappointed to postpone things.

"Daadddyyyy! Are you hiding?" Sarang insisted from wherever she was wandering, and you couldn't help but think to yourself, that you were ready. Ready to indulge into this relationship, ready to take Sarang in your arms as if she was your family. You were ready to face it all.

A sudden affectionate swelling took place in your heart and you couldn't stop yourself when you grabbed Baekhyun's cheeks in your hands and pulled him down for a gentle, lingering kiss.

"You should go before she sees us like this." You ushered him to hurry and he nodded in agreement, stealing another set of eager kisses. "Will do, my love" He whispered in your ear teasingly before rolling over the other side and getting ready to greet his impatient daughter.

It felt like it was only you and me in the world.

I fell in love with your smile. After that, I just love everything about you.

I think of you every day,

Stupid in love.

Fin.

***

A/N

Phew! That was one long ride! I think this is the longest one shot I have ever written and it's currently almost 2am and all I want to do is post this quickly aaah >< I deeply apologize for all the mistakes you might find in here! I will do editing after posting.

I truly thank you all for sticking with me through this whole one shot! I am so thankful that you gave this your precious time and I hope it was worth the wait! I really invite you to express yourselves and tell me what you think of it. Comments and feedback are so motivating to me and I'd deeply appreciate it if you did. As always, I send you all of my love and hugs, I love you all and please stay safe and clean your pretty hands! You are all precious, little flowers 💕🥰💖💌

P.S.

The ending was so damn hard to write and my brain Is fizzling right now haha, I hope it isn't as bad as it seems to me right now. I might change it bit as well, just because I don't feel completely happy with it, but I really wanted to post this also.

Alright! That was all from me! Be kind to yourselves and spread love! Much love, P.💖💕

Tag list:

@bbyunz @soos-goddess @byunfirstlady @baekklove @christiandosworld @sunbyun21 @milky-baek @changshapatrol @lalalala-lav

#baekhyun x reader #baekhyun fluff #baekyun angst #baekhyun smut #baekhyun one shot #baekhyun imagine #baekhyun scneario #baekhyun drabble #exo #exo baekhyun #byun baekhyun #baekhyun #bbh #kpop #fan fiction #exo imagine #exo one shot #exo x reader

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moving-accounts-uwu · 4 years

Text

Right Where You Were Meant To Be (Bucky x Plus-size!Reader)

Fandom: Marvel

Characters: Bucky x Plus-size!reader

Warnings: Fluff, hurt/comfort, body-shaming

Story type: One-shot

Word count: 2.7k words

Summary: Reader has a crush on Bucky the second she looked at him but she also has feelings of self-consciousness about her body and doubts she’d ever end up with Bucky or any guy like Bucky. That all changes one night at one of Tony’s parties.

(A/N: This is a cute little one-shot idea I had and just wanted to write out. I feel there aren’t many plus-size!reader stories so I wanted to make my own. I’m a chubby girl and felt like I needed some love, lmao. Any mistakes I take responsibility for, this story wasn’t beta read, so I apologize for any mistakes. I hope you enjoy nonetheless!!! Also, the gif isn’t mine, but he just looks so precious <3)

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It all started when you looked at him for the first time. He had just moved into the Tower, and you had just gotten the job as Tony's new assistant since Pepper had become CEO of Stark Industries. Because you worked in an environment with superheroes who were very fit and healthy, you had become self-conscious of yourself; whether it would be what you wore, the things you ate, or just how your body looked in general.

Being a bigger girl, it often took a toll on your mental health when you would notice the glances, the whispering, the judgmental stares, and how shopping for clothes in your size was difficult, and it made you feel like you had to lose weight to fit in and belong. You felt alone and isolated.

You didn't have any friends; you didn't even talk to many of your co-workers, and just kept to yourself a majority of the time. When Bucky moved in, you noticed he did the same. He didn't speak much to the rest of the team, he mostly stayed in his room, and only hung around Steve. Bucky was very fit, and his muscular body showed it whenever he wore tight-fitted clothing. You would never wear tight-fitted clothing for fear of having your plumpness accentuated.

After five months working for Tony and having a more friendly relationship with the rest of the team, you had built a few close bonds with some of the heroes. Wanda and Natasha were your closest girlfriends and would regularly have 'Lady's Nights' every Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Tony, Clint, Sam, and Steve were like your older brothers and would look out for you.

You and Steve made it a routine to do small exercise and yoga in the afternoons just after 4 o'clock. How this all started was because you wanted to accomplish small goals for yourself, as Sam told you to do to help with your mental health.

"Steve," You called out as you stepped into the Tower's gym, the one place you knew where to find Steve if he wasn't in the common room.

"Oh, hey (Y/N)! What's up?" Steve turned to face you as he held the punching bag still while he watched you walk closer to him, noticing you fidgeting with your fingers nervously.

"I just... I wanted to start doing light exercises, you know, to boost my endorphins, and so I have something to do in the afternoons when I've finished with work." It wasn't a complete lie, but it just sugar-coated the fact that you just wanted to lose weight to gain confidence in yourself.

Steve had agreed to help you; he wouldn't push you too much either because he didn't want you to strain anything and not push you out of your comfort zone too much. Both of you would exercise for an hour each day in the afternoons. This routine had been going on for six weeks, and you were enjoying it. You felt better about yourself each week when you would check your progress and write down how much you lost during the week; you were more confident than you were all those weeks ago before asking Steve for help.

During one of those afternoon exercises, you and Steve were both in the Adho Mukha pose with Steve wearing his usual tight t-shirt that you swore was a size too small, and shorts while you wore a loose, black tank top, and tight-fitted leggings that complemented the shape of your plump ass. You were so in the zone that you hadn't heard the gym doors open and the sound of footsteps coming closer to you. Bucky stood behind you and Steve, him getting an eyeful of your butt while he cleared his throat to catch his best friend's attention.

"Hey, Bucky! I didn't notice you were there. (Y/N) and I were doing some yoga, would you like to join us?"

You. Were. Mortified. You quickly stood up beside Steve and looked down at your feet, trying to avoid looking at Bucky after having your ass practically in his face.

"Uh, I kinda have to get ready for 'Girl's Night' tonight, but I think Bucky can keep you company." You nervously spoke, having your words jumble out quickly due to your inner-embarrassment. "I'll see you later, Steve!"

You bolted out of the gym as fast as your legs could go and made it up into your room without another incident. When you flopped onto your bed, you let out a loud, exhausted sigh before closing your eyes shut tightly. 'Why did I have to act like a nervous wreck? You didn't even let him talk for Christ's sake!' After beating yourself up over the little incident, you started to get ready for 'Girl's Night' with Nat and Wanda.

It was two hours into 'Girl's Night' and you, Nat and Wanda had, at least, drank four glasses of Kraken Rum and about three shots of Vodka. You were more relaxed and carefree, enjoying your time with your best friends while gossiping about an episode of Criminal Minds you all saw the other day together.

"Not gonna lie, I would love to have a man like Morgan. Have you seen his muscles? And how he kicks down doors like a badass?" You gushed.

"That is true, and I fully believe Morgan and Garcia should be together. They have chemistry and look so cute!" Wanda loved her Morgan and Garcia ship.

"Eh, I like to have a super cute genius but that's just my opinion" Nat took a sip of her fruity vodka drink while shrugging her shoulders.

"Of course you would, you're with Bruce and that's a little bias, Nat." You gently shoved your red-haired friend playfully.

You and Wanda giggled like school girls when Natasha scoffed before she pointed an accusing finger at you.

"Well, says you, (Y/N)! You practically drool whenever you see Barnes."

That shut you up quickly. 'How does she know?! Play it off'

"That's very funny Nat, but I don't know what you mean."

"Don't bullshit me, (Y/N). I've seen the way your cheeks get all pink and how your eyes are glued to him whenever he walks by. You're so smitten it's grossly cute." Then Wanda turned to you with a small smirk on her face.

"Maybe you should ask him to work out with you and Steve!"

Flashbacks of your embarrassment earlier that day made your face go pale. 'Absolutely not'. You shook your head furiously, staring at your two friends with fear. There was no way you'd have the guts to do such a thing, not after how you acted around him before. Plus, you didn't want him to look at you with disgust when he looks at you working out. You shake off all the negative thoughts before finishing off your last bits of rum.

"I think I'm going to head off to bed now, gotta wake up early tomorrow. Tony wants me to help him organize and plan a gala party to celebrate his newest project. And when I say to 'help him' I mean I'll be doing most of the work while he hides away in his lab with Bruce." You said before walking off and waving the girls goodbye.

2 weeks later...

You had most of the gala planned out. You had booked a cute catering company to organize some food dishes for everyone and even hired a group of people to decorate one of the large common rooms that would fit all the guests on Tony's guest-list. You had even bought a cute new dress to wear for the party. The party was starting that night at 7:30 and you would hopefully get everything done while having an hour and a half to spare to get ready.

When the decorating and planning finished, you quickly made your way to your room and got showered and changed. You stood in front of your mirror for quite some time, nitpicking every flaw you could see, judging your appearance because you knew how the other women at the party were going to look flawless and have every man swooping in for them. A sudden knock on your door snapped you out of your negative thoughts.

"(Y/n), you ready?" Wanda's voice called from the other side.

"Y-yeah! I'm coming now." You dashed for the door to get away from the mirror so you can't put yourself down even more. Once opening the door, Wanda linked your arm with hers, and both of you walked toward the elevator.

Telling FRIDAY which floor, you both arrived just as a few of the guests were mingling around; drinking, eating, and chatting. You glanced around, hoping to see the familiar faces of your friends, spotting Sam, Nat, and Clint near the bar where Natasha was serving the drinks. Tony was standing next to Pepper and being an absolute flirt as always while Steve and Bucky were standing near a corner with drinks in hand. Before you could make your way over to the bar, Wanda told you to wait where you were while she goes to quickly touch up her make-up, disappearing before you could say a word. You stood there awkwardly and looked around, making sure everything was going swimmingly until you felt a presence behind you. A tap on your confirmed that someone was indeed behind you.

You turned around to see a group of two slender women and three muscular men staring at you with smug and cocky smiles on their faces.

"Can we get some more drinks? And make them with a little more alcohol this time." One of the men quirked an eyebrow, waiting for you to scurry off to grab their drinks.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not part of catering. I'm-"

"You certainly look it though, I mean, you're not dressed like you're here as a guest. The dress you're wearing looks like the other catering staff." A woman spat, her eyes narrowed at you. You started to feel self-conscious about your outfit now, realizing the color-scheme looked very similar to the catering staff.

"Plus, the dress isn't that flattering for your body hun. We can practically see your muffin top and panty lines with how tight that dress is on you." The other woman commented while she leaned to the side to glance at more of your plush figure.

A stinging sensation began to appear behind your eyes, feelings of doubt, and an anxiety attack began to make themselves known. So looked away from the group and quickly made for the elevator, shooting Wanda a quick text saying you weren't feeling too well. 'How stupid of me to think I even looked good or that I could fit in at the party.' By the time the elevator doors reached your floor and the doors opened, hot tears were falling down your cheeks as you tried to furiously wipe them away with zero results. The tears kept flowing down as you began to walk down the hallway to your room; quiet footsteps barely making noise as they followed you. Just as your hand settled on the door handle, a warm hand clasped onto your shoulder gently. With a yelp, you spun around with a jump to look at your "attacker", only to find a pair of stormy blue eyes staring at your teary eyes intensely.

Bucky's eyes held hints of concern and worry, but it was hard to see because he was good at hiding his emotions, and the fact that your eyes were blurry from crying.

"You okay, (Y/n)? I saw you leave the party quickly and noticed how fast your breathing was." Bucky had to look down at you because he was so tall, or was it because you were just very short?

"I'm fine, Bucky. I just don't do well in crowded places or with so many strangers. I got a bit overwhelmed but it's fine now." You weakly smiled but he could see right through it, he always did.

"You had a panic attack after speaking to a group of people, and judging by the looks they gave you while talking to them, I can only believe it wasn't a pleasant conversation." Bucky then brought both his flesh and metal hands to cup your face while he peered into your eyes more. "Tell me what happened, doll."

You sighed, you knew he wasn't going to let this go. Even though you both barely spoke to each other, he still cared for you like the both of you knew each other for years. Something about his calm voice and caring nature helped your nerves settle.

"They thought I was part of catering and asked if I could get them more drinks. I told them I wasn't catering, only for them to make snarky comments about my outfit and body. But it's fine, I'm used to having those comments made to me, I've dealt with those types of people all my life." Your hands gently held his and tried to move them away from your face but Bucky didn't budge.

"You don't believe them, right? I mean, I think the dress looks good on you. It shows off your curves and any man who doesn't get blown away is blind."

You gave a humorless laugh and shook your head at Bucky, looking down at the floor.

"You're just saying that to be nice to me, Buck. We both know girls like me don't belong in a place like this, or a party like that. You can go back to the party, I don't want to waste more of your time." You went to turn away when Bucky held your upper arms tightly.

"Not a chance, doll. I'm not a fan of crowds myself and was about to leave the party myself until I saw you run away. I'd rather spend my time with you and making sure you don't ever think that you don't belong."

You both stared at each other for a few seconds, his stare was intense with adoration and love while you stared at him in shock that he'd want to spend time with you. Before you could blink, Bucky leaned down and you felt his soft lips on yours, his arms wrapping around you and caging you into a warm and gentle embrace. Your hands rested onto his firm chest while his hands rested on your lower back, just above your butt. At first, you were in shock but then you gave in to the kiss and snaked your arms around his neck, your fingers embedded into his long hair.

The kiss was full of passion, and so much love that you didn't think it was possible. When the need for air was too much, you both separated and looked into each other's eyes once again.

"H-how? Why me? We barely know each other!"

"Because, (Y/n), I've been smitten for you since I first laid eyes on you but didn't have the guts to tell you. Steve's been a punk and trying to get me to join your work out sessions for weeks but I was too nervous to do it." Bucky's cheeks tinted red as he chuckled.

"And why's that? I was scared that if saw me working out, that you'd be grossed out by my body." You explained, chewing on your bottom lip.

"I could never be grossed out, sweetheart. I love a woman with curves and plumpness to her. I was nervous that if I watched you work out, I would try to make a move on you too fast and scare you away. I didn't want that to happen." Bucky grabbed your chin and leaned in again, his lips almost touching yours. "And you looked downright sexy in those tights, they shape your ass well."

You gasped and lightly smacked his shoulder while he smirked at you. His playfulness coming through. You made the first move this time and got onto your tippy toes to kiss him. This is was quicker than the first but still held the same emotions. With so much strength you underestimated he had, Bucky lifted you up, your legs wrapped around his waist as he opened your door and carried you over to your bedroom. Both of you watched a bunch of movies in your room; many kisses were shared before you both passed out, cuddled up under your fluffy blankets, safe in Bucky's arms. Right where you were meant to be all along.

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Thanks for reading!!! <3 <3 <3

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docholligay · 4 years

Note

SM rewrite: any of haruka's first times meeting the inners

EPisode 92! 1960 words, I hope you enjoy, I AM HAVING FUN TODAY

“He’s SO HOT, Mina.”

Usagi was off on yet another one of her larks, talking about some guy she’d seen at the arcade. She’d thought, at first, that she was talking about Motoki, who Mina took to be her current obsession who was not Mamoru of the moment, but maybe that had been several moments ago. It was hard to tell with Usagi.

People always took her and Usagi to be alike, and if that gave Mina the benefit of being underestimated, that was fine with her. And it was true, that they both liked attractive people, in a way, but Mina was more of a freelancer, moving from this flower to that like a brilliant butterfly with no particular link to any one person, while Usagi fell in love with every man she ever met.

That too. Usagi was still under the impression that she was straight, and the delusion might yet follow her all the way to the wedding altar. That, in particular, was none of Mina’s business, who had realized since the age of 12 that attractive was attractive in her eyes, which became the fact that a bedroom was a bedroom, as she got older, and what it might say on someone’s driver’s license or facebook held little notice for her when it was time to go home.

Dating, on the other hand--well, she wasn’t bold enough to tell Usagi to never date a man, if she had other options, not while she was still enamored of Mamoru, but she certainly thought it hard enough. Mina had learned that lesson quickly. Men were like riding a roller coaster, exhilarating and fun, for a quick ride, but eventually you just get sick.

Usagi had not yet learned this, and it was in this that Minako allowed her to keep your youthful naivete. She had time yet to learn.

“His name is HARUKA,” she swung her bag around, “I heard the cashier say it. Isn’t that dreamy?”

Mina chuckled, “It’s one of the most popular names in Japan, Usagi. I go to school with like, 4 Harukas.”

“Well, it seems different on him!” She gave a little scowl and a stomp of her foot, but then smiled brightly and whipped around, “Come to the arcade with me and see him!” She narrowed her eyes playfully, “We can compete to see who he’ll fall in love with.”

This was the point at which Rei would have chimed in that Usaig had a boyfriend, if she had denied to leave off from her shrine duties and hang out with them after school, but she hadn’t, and Mina didn’t see why something like a boyfriend should get in the way of a good time.

“Amazing. I hope you like losing.” Mina cackled as she swanned toward The Crown. She hadn’t been in a while, not for any particular reason, other than she was doing a bunch of back work for a hostess club, which she hoped would hire her as a hostess the absolute second she turned 18. Unfortunately, they were too above-board to hire her for anything at the front right now. It was less than a year. She’d live.

Usagi rushed into the Crown, ever with the perfect idea of how to act casual, and gazed immediately over to the racing game in the corner, hand under her chin as she leaned against an old copy of Pacman.

“There he is!!!” she stage whispered, hissing as she grabbed Mina’s hand.

She sighed and turned to tell Usagi that he was going to hear them, but he didn’t look over even at all, and Mina’s brow twitched as she noticed it. His hearing must not be anything to write home about. He was wearing a blazer over the top of a sweater, over the top of a collared shirt, which seemed a bit like overkill to Mina, but hey, maybe he was cold.

MIna walked over to him, Usagi half-tiptoeing behind in a way that Haruka would find either cute or incredibly unsettling, and based on that, Mina would change her strategy. It was all a sort of chess game, flirting and seduction, and with men maybe it wasn’t even chess. Checkers, or something.

“Hi!” Usagi popped up, “Good afternoon! We saw that you were playing alone here, and were wondering, you know!”

Mina looped her arm across the back of the car seat, and leaned against it. “Care for a friendly game?”

Haruka ruffled his hair, and looked up at her, and Mina nearly burst out laughing. She hadn’t noticed, with the bulkiness of the blazer and other entrappings, and she hadn’t looked hard enough when she’d been standing with Usagi, but looking now, there was no mistake. Haruka wasn’t a man at all. Oh, she was tall, and gangly, and even given the sweater probably fairly flat-chested, but there was the unmistakable fullness of her lip, the softness of her brow, the way she looked at Usagi and Mina. Mina was a bit of an expert, in these matters.

She looked over to Usagi. No reason not to let this play out. Why not, she’d earned some fun. Maybe Usagi would have a moment of realization--Mina doubted she’d ever seen a butch lesbian outside of Takarazuka, and those women were made up to the high heavens, more drag than the genuine article.

So she smiled.

“Just a race or two.”

Usagi started to stammer, and step in front of her, but Mina dodged it effortlessly. Why have one bit of fun, when she could have two? Besides, Usagi may have been wrong about Haruka being a boy, but she wasn’t wrong about a certain quality of rough handsomeness that she carried, that sort of young, gentlemanly way, with a touch of insecurity, that Mina sometimes found very winning about the younger butch set. She could have a worse time.

“Sure,” Haruka smiled, and nodded, then added, “I always like to play with a pretty girl.”

Her voice was deep, but not overly so, and Mina found the feminine lilt at the end of her sentences quite charming. She rather liked butches, when it came down to it. They had a habit of picking up the charming parts of masculinity while letting the rest rot where it belonged.

MIna slid in next to her. She smelled good, like sandalwood and maybe a touch of motor oil, which Mina wouldn’t have thought would be charming. Usagi was salivating as they put their coins into the slot, but she stood and watched Mina. She’d played this game plenty of times, and beaten Usagi at it nearly every time, save when Motoki accidentally spilled a drink on her in the middle of a race. This wouldn’t be too hard, but she would be careful not to humiliate Haruka, and maybe even let her win in the last stretch--

She looked over to the map. Haruka was already out in front, her car on full manual and effortlessly gliding through it, swinging the wheel and tapping on the brake and gas at perfect intervals.

Minako, for a moment, became just a little enraged. She hadn’t even wanted to win before this moment, but for her to be beaten so easily, by whatever putz of a nerd was too old to be hanging out in an arcade but clearly WAS hanging out in an arcade, on an afternoon, and didn’t she have a job or college or something to go to?

She slammed down on the gas, trying desperately to catch up, to make a better showin, but Haruka just kept going and going, hitting checkpoints without a second thought, not even the slightest amount of wrinkle to her forehead.

Besides all that, Usagi was laughing and clapping her hands like the damn fool she was.

Mina tried to weave around the fake traffic in her way, but ended up broadsiding a bus full of fake schoolchildren, and she imagined their fake screams echoing her own as the Game Over flashed across the screen. She quite forgot her seduction, in the moment, as she slapped the middle of the steering wheel and laid her head down on it.

“I can’t believe I lost that bad!”

Haruka chuckled, “No, you actually did pretty good.”

Mina straightened up, smoothed her hair, and tried to regain herself.

“Sorry, it’s just,” she giggled, “I get so competitive. The uh….heat of the moment, you know what I mean?”

Haruka looked at her with a slightly confused sideways grin. “Sure.”

“Oh but I am sorry, Haruka, mother was forever at lunch, sometimes I swear she asks for things only to see the human limit of what a waiter will bear before smoke begins to run from his ears. It was never my intention to keep you waiting.”

“Oh, that’s okay.”

Mina saw Game Over flash across the screen a second time as Haruka looked at the woman who had just entered.

She was unquestionably beautiful, with a delicately rounded face that suggested a touch of foreignness at the eyes, eyes in green or blue but also somehow both, shifting a bit as the tides. Her hair was elegantly curled to her shoulders, and her carriage was straight and practiced, a show dog out for the afternoon with all the regular mutts. She wore a finely tailored blouse of silk with a demurely pleated skirt, round toe leather on that fit her perfectly on her feet, a bag at her side that was the sort of designer you wore if you were too polished for garishness of advertising that you wore designer. The whole of her felt wrong in the crown, like placing Italian marble in a kid’s playplace, and she smelled of rose and jasmine.

But none of that was what stopped Mina in her tracks, no, wealth and polish was not enough to frighten her off. It was the look Haruka gave her, that wide-eyed gaze like a tourist standing in front of some great masterwork, and the softness with which she had responded. Mina didn’t know if they were together, or if they weren’t but she knew one thing for sure:

Haruka was desperately smitten. She could have competed with Usagi for stupid in love, at that point. She and Usagi were getting nowhere with this one.

Haruka rose to her feet, taking her bag and tossing it over her shoulder in one motion. MIchiru turned to leave the arcade, and Haruka gave a nod back to Usagi.

“Hey, uh, you with the buns,” She smiled and tossed her hair, “We should play next time.”

Usagi’s eyes damn near became hearts, but Mina just gave a half-hearted wave and a nod. There were fights you could win, and fights you couldn’t win, and Minako Aino didn’t ever throw effort straight into a fire. She had more of a sense of self-preservation than that.

Haruka turned to walk next to her companion, who gave her the smallest closed-mouth smile.

“Well, aren’t we making friends so quickly today?”

Haruka chuckled. “You jealous or something?” She looked at the woman with what Mina noted was a mix of hope and fear.

“Oh, terribly.” she answered. This woman knew exactly what Mina knew.

Haruka shook her head, unable to keep up the ruse. “They’re high school girls,” she shrugged, “ They seem like such little kids. But they’re cute, right?”

“As kittens.” Noted the elegant woman, as they breezed out the door.

There was a pause for a moment as even Motoki stood beside them to watch them leave, the perfume still hanging in the air as if the entire place were surrounded by petals. Usagi put her hands on her hips.

“Is it just me, or were they both ridiculously good-looking?”

#Eight Days 2020 #SM rewrites #Anonymous

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maythefandomsbwithu · 4 years

Text

Hey I decided to post this on Tumblr cuz why not

tattoo artist Geralt/florist jaskier 1

It was just another day for Jaskier. It was June and business was booming. Or should he say blooming, he was a florist after all. The wedding season was well under way and orders were coming flooding in. He couldn’t wait for Ciri to finish her exams so she could help out in the shop more but for now he had to manage on his own.

He owned a quaint little shop called Dandelions Aren’t Weeds in a reasonably quiet part of town. It didn’t seem like much to an outsider but to Jaskier it was his pride and joy. He spent his days tending the plants and catering to his customers’ needs, often with a fresh bloom tucked behind his ear. He took pride not only in his business but in his appearance as well, dressing in fine, brightly coloured clothes that complimented his complexion, with just a light smear of makeup, the boldest on a day to day basis being a dark streak of liner under each eye. He looked as pretty and delicate as the flowers he sold but appearances could be deceiving.

The only thing out of the ordinary in the past weeks was all the work that had been going on the renovate the shop next door. Rumours had been doing the rounds of what it would be when it was finished. By the look of it, the one that proved to be right was that it was going to be a tattoo shop. Jaskier hoped it wouldn’t be off putting to some of his customers with more…traditional values. By the looks of it, it was due to open any day. He hoped his new neighbours would be nicer than the last ones. He sighed and continued putting together an arrangement. He had too much work to do to worry about that right now.

Another few weeks passed and Ciri finished her exams. He was definitely grateful to have an extra pair of hands; his niece was marvellous. She’d been helping him out at the weekends while she was in school. He’d decided to take her on full time over the summer, he needed the help and she was saving for a car. He definitely appreciated having someone to talk to with Ciri’s sharp wit and general good humour. Most people didn’t realise they were related though, they couldn’t see past Ciri’s blond tresses and paler skin. However, if one observed her carefully, her mannerisms were similar to Jaskier’s and she had the same glint in her eye just before she made a smart-assed comment.

The tattoo shop next door had opened too, a steady stream of people going in and out. Jaskier has yet to meet his new neighbours though. Oh well, he presumes they are busy with their opening week or something like that. He’d bump into them eventually.

Jaskier had been doing a bit of tidying up one evening. Even though they technically weren’t closed because the door was still open, it was too late for any more customers so he had sent Ciri to go and get them both a coffee from the café down the road and popped in his headphones. He hummed and bopped his way around the floor, cleaning as he went. He was so distracted that he didn’t notice the man who’d come in until he walked straight into him.

Jaskier snapped out of his day dream to find a man who was basically a blonde, tattooed superman standing in his flower shop. His long hair was drawn back from his face in a bun, accentuating a jawline Jaskier could cut himself on and, holy shit! Did he have gold eyes?!? He thought this stranger looked fantastic. Oh shit, he was staring at Jaskier, he should probably snap out of it and say something.

* Bad Jaskier! * He internally chided himself. *No ogling! *

“Can I help you mister….?” Jaskier asked, clearing his throat and yanking out his headphones. He had to be professional.

“Geralt, Geralt Rivia. I own the tattoo shop next door.” The man, Geralt, offered his hand. Jaskier noted then that if he wanted to, this guy could probably break his entire hand. However, while firm, the handshake bore no ill intent. Good.

“Ah! My new neighbour! Julian Alfred Pankratz, at your service, but I prefer Jaskier.” He gave a flourishing bow. When he said he’d bump into the neighbours eventually he hadn’t meant literally. “So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your presence this evening?” *Nothing like laying it on thick Jaskier* he thought to himself, inwardly cringing at his own eagerness.

~~ time rewind~~

Geralt was relieved the day that White Wolf Tattoos finally opened for business. The renovations and paper work of starting out on his own had caused him mountains of stress. But he had known it would all be worth it once he got up and running, and away from her.

Her being his ex-girlfriend and ex-boss Renfri. He knew from the start that mixing work and pleasure would be a bad idea but at the time he’d been too loved up to care. Everything had seemed fine at the start but she gradually showed her true colours, growing more manipulative and egotistical as their relationship progressed. It was stifling. He had no reprieve, even when they’d split, he’d see her at work every day. He couldn’t take it anymore.

That was how he came to leave Cursed Princess Tattoos to start up on his own. Well, not completely alone. He had Yennefer. Granted, she was his ex too, a long time ago, but they’d parted as friends and continued as such ever since. She had been his rock during the aftermath of his break up with Renfri. She let him live with her until he found his feet again, she’d become his business partner and done the lion’s share of the paper work while he nursed his broken heart. He didn’t know what he’d do without her.

It had taken months but his shop was finally about to take off, he could feel it. A number of his old clients had followed him when he’d left Renfri’s shop, insistent that he was the only reason they ever went near the place. There were new clients too, as expected in a new part of town, that flocked to his shop. Thanks to Yennefer, social media pages had acted as some of his best advertising. He was finally making a real name for himself.

The first week had flown by. He and Yennefer had been run off their feet constantly but he assumed things would calm down after a while. Thankfully a short period of calm came on Saturday evening, his last appointment finished sooner than expected so he could take a break and do some exploring in the neighbourhood. Yennefer assured him she could hold the fort, allowing him to take a walk.

As he’d wandered out of the shop his gaze fell on the florist’s next door. A client he had consulted earlier that day had mentioned wanting a floral piece, a flower shop was a great place to find inspiration. At first, he’d thought they might be closed but the door was open. As he entered his eyes fell on the most gorgeous man sweeping the floor. His brown hair looked soft and artfully styled; a yellow flower perched behind his ear. His dark eyeliner only emphasised how bright the blue of his eyes was, matched by his stylish blue shirt and jeans. He was stunning. Geralt was smitten. He’d realised long ago that he liked men and women but he hadn’t come across a man that he found so attractive in years.

He snapped out of his daze and cleared his throat hoping to get the man’s attention. No response. He tried again and still nothing. He stepped forward to tap the man on the shoulder only for him to turn around and walk straight into Geralt’s chest.

They stood for a moment, both dazed and staring at each other before the florist broke their silence.

“Can I help you mister…?” He’d trailed off while he yanked is headphones out. *Ah,* thought Geralt, *that’s why he didn’t notice me come in.* Geralt immediately offered his hand.

“Geralt, Geralt Rivia. I own the tattoo shop next door.” He shook the florist’s hand firmly, a hint of a smile going unnoticed in his eyes. He generally kept a very stoic outward demeanour.

“Ah! My new neighbour! Julian Alfred Pankratz, at your service, but I prefer Jaskier.”

So that was his name. Jaskier. He quirked an eyebrow at the flamboyant bow he received and resisted the urge to scoff. This was a lively one, he could tell. He practically radiated positive energy.

“So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your presence this evening?” Jaskier asked him. Another eyebrow quirk, his presence was a pleasure then, was it?

~~~Back to presnt~~~

“I came for inspiration.” He stated simply. It was the truth. He watched Jaskier’s face split into a grin.

“Oh really?” the florist, “In that case, I can very much help you. How do you want me?” With that he struck a ridiculous pose and made what Geralt could only presume he thought to be a model face, which was more of an exaggerated pout. He could only scoff and roll his eyes at the antics, ignoring any possible subtext of the latter comment.

“For a floral tattoo.” He clarified, watching as Jaskier’s smile never faltered.

Okay, maybe Jaskier was being a little too flirtatious with the ‘how do you want me’ thing but in his defence, Geralt never even flinched, merely rolled his eyes and moved on. He’d take that as a good sign.

“Ah! That I can help with too.” He gestured grandly around the shop. “See anything you like the look of?” He knew he certainly did, watching Geralt like a hawk as he had a glance around the shop. That man was something to behold.

Geralt shrugged, and moved to browse around the shop. If he was honest, the thing he most liked the look of was the owner, not his wares. He pushed that thought from his head and thought about his client. What had they discussed before?

“Sunflowers.” He said aloud, “My client said something about sunflowers.” He cast his gaze over the room searching for a bright flash of yellow, but although there were plenty of yellow flowers, there seemed to be no sunflowers. He frowned.

Jaskier noticed the frown. “I’m sorry. They’re quite popular at this time of the year, we sold out some time this afternoon.” It was just then that a flash of brilliance struck his brain. “Although, we’ll be getting more in first thing on Monday morning, if you would like to come by then?” He suggested, trying to mask the eagerness in his voice at the opportunity to see the tattoo artist again. He hadn’t known the man for more than five minutes but he felt drawn to him, despite the intimidating aura he gave off. He wanted to get to know him.

Geralt gave a deep, non-committal “Hmm.” As he glanced around the shop once more, before returning his gaze to the florist. He considered it. His client definitely said sunflowers specifically. And he certainly would not be opposed to seeing Jaskier again. He almost shook his head physically as he rid himself of that thought. *Stop it, its far too soon after her to be thinking about someone in that way* he reasoned with himself. While yes, the man was attractive, he knew nothing about him. They might have absolutely nothing in common. He might be just another heartbreak waiting to happen. With his stupid grin, and his stupid hair and his stupid, pretty eyes. *Fuck. * He needed to get a grip. Still, it wouldn’t do any harm to come back, with his customer’s best interests in mind, of course;

“Sure, I can find time.” That’s it Geralt, play it cool. He didn’t need to go rushing into anything. Besides it was basically just business and there’s no harm in being civil to the guy. Who knows, they might end up friends. Well, maybe acquaintances.

Jaskier tried to quell the traitorous swell of hope in his chest that he might have something resembling a chance with this guy. But, hey, if not maybe they could be friends at least. But for now, he must remain calm.

“Great, we open at nine.” He beamed. He glanced at the clock on the wall. Was that the time? “Also, we’re technically closed at the minute so….” He trailed off hoping Geralt would take the hint. While he would love to stand and chat all night, he had things to do.

Geralt answered with another “Hmm.”, this one more amused than the last. The smaller man certainly wasn’t behind the door. Normally most people would be more intimidated and would not try to get rid of his in such an unsubtle way.

“I’ll see you Monday then.” And with that he turned on his heel and left without another word.

“Nice meeting you!” Jaskier called after him with a wave. He was dumbfounded by the tattoo artist next door. He was so brooding and mysterious. A man of very few words and yet Jaskier was hanging off every “hmm”, let alone word. He needed to snap out of this. It was just a silly crush. And he could only imagine the stick he’d get if Ciri copped on. Speaking of, where was she with his iced latte? He needed to cool off.

#the witcher #the witcher netflix #geralt of rivia #geralt x jaskier #geralt z rivii #jaskier #tattoo artist/florist au #geraskier #tattoo geralt/ florist jaskier

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lovelysnake1994 · 4 years

Text

Tony grinned excitedly as he watched his step father leave the house. He had been waiting to sneak off for the entirety of the morning.

Howard was his greatest concern, with the help of Wanda he could manage to sneak out unnoticed by her sister Natasha.

Tony was Howard's late wife's son, Howard seemed to accept him early on into their marriage. However, soon after their wedding Tony's mother fell ill. After a year of fighting for her life, she lost. Leaving Tony with Howard and his two sisters. Tony then found out Howard wasn't who he had originally appeared to be, he was vile, and cruel.

Upon Maria's death he made Tony his servant, denied him basic necessities, and forbade him from attending any events they went to as a family.

Natasha made Tony's life even more miserable with her jeers and taunts. Though her sister, Wanda, was kind to Tony. She brought him meals after Howard refused him the right to eat, and occasionally helped him with his labor tasks. She had been the only good thing in his life, that was until Tony met a mysterious guy in the woods.

He had been on a short trip to pick up Howard's new tailored suit, and on his way back he took the nearest shortcut through the woods. As he was walking he heard the snap of a twig and turned around to see a handsome guy struggling to get up. Tony offered him help and he was instantly infatuated.

He assumed the man was a peasant too, judging by the clothes he wore. "I'm Steve."

Tony smiled sweetly and shook the blonde's hand. "I'm Tony."

Tony headed to the garden where Wanda awaited him. "Natasha is occupied, and Dad will be arriving home before sundown." Tony nodded gratefully and took off, his mind far away.

***

Steve changed into his casual clothes hastily, he was beyond late for his escapade in the woods. His royal duties had kept him occupied all day, and he feared that Tony would take his absence the wrong way.

He hadn't told Tony that he was the prince, because over time he had found that it ruined his relationships before they even started.

He wanted someone to be interested in what he had to offer, not just his royal status.

The day he met Tony he had gotten lost in the woods and had scuffed up all his clothes. He found Tony and was immediately immersed in the brunettes beauty. It had been a few months since Steve and Tony had been seeing each other, and they were both smitten.

Steve mounted his horse hastily and took off. His thoughts consisting of the brunette beauty that had stolen his heart.

***

Tony had waited patiently for Steve to arrive, it was getting dark out and Tony was beginning to head home. He was disheartened that Steve hadn't bothered to show up, but was also concerned for his well being. He knew Steve, he must have had a good reason to not come.

Just as Tony was starting to head back to the Manor, he heard leaves shuffling nearby. The initial panic he felt soon turned into relief as a familiar face came to view.

"Hey." Steve sounded breathless, and that's exactly how Tony felt as he gazed into the other man's eyes. "I'm sorry I'm late, I lost track of time while I was fulfilling some- erm tasks."

Tony looked at Steve uncertainly before nodding.

"No worries, I understand. Though you must know I can't stay for much longer. I have to head back to the Manor before sundown."

Steve sighed in disappointment.

"Well at least let me walk you through the woods."

Tony agreed, and the two set off. They talked the whole way, their chats always came naturally.

Talking with Tony didn't feel forced like it did when he spoke to the women his father insisted he marry.

Their easy, lighthearted conversations were one of the many reasons Steve was actively pursuing Tony.

Steve wasn't sure how his parents would react to his choice of partner, but he hoped that his happiness would assure them that Tony was the one for him.

When they neared the end of the road Steve kissed Tony's hand gingerly. "When can I see you again?"

Tony blushed, and struggled to think under Steve's gaze. "I'm able to see you this Thursday."

Steve shook his head dejectedly. "The ball is on Thursday." He muttered

Tony looked at Steve, surprised. "You're attending the ball?" Steve cursed his stupidity.

"My master is going, I'm attending to provide him assistance." He lied easily, Tony cocked his head.

"Isn't it a ball to provide the prince with eligible bachelors? Is he attending as a worthy candidate?" Tony chuckled. "I suppose he is." Steve smiled.

"Well I've heard the prince has rejected every candidate he has been introduced to, so I hope your master isn't expecting much." Steve laughed, he hadn't known the public was aware of his selective nature when it came to a love interest. "I must go now, surely we'll run into each other again. There's no need to set a date anymore." Tony grinned brightly, and Steve nearly melted. "May I kiss you before you leave?"

Tony's hands wrapped around Steve's neck. "I don't know why you insist on asking my permission, I'm yours."

Steve's knees suddenly felt weak, Tony was his.

Hearing those words come from Tony made Steve oddly giddy inside.

Steve captured Tony's lips in a searing kiss. He knew that his heart would forever be Tony's, and though that excited Steve for the future, it also made him fear that a life with Tony wasn't written in the stars

after all.

***

Tony sighed dreamily, as he always did after seeing Steve. Wanda watched Tony in amusement as he sunk into her bed and hummed a cheerful tune.

"I'm absolutely dire to know about your time in the woods." Wanda smiled and joined Tony on the bed.

Tony smiled as he remembered how wonderful Steve made him feel, regardless of the amount of time spent together.

Tony told Wanda about his kiss with Steve. The kiss had certainly not been their first, yet it made Tony feel like it had been. Every moment Tony spent with Steve made him feel like he was falling all over again.

Tony and Wanda chatted lightly for a moment when something across the room caught his eye.

"What's that dress for?" Tony asked, eyeing the elegant creme colored dress with great interest.

Wanda grinned. "It's for the ball." She had a far away look in her eyes, as if she were imagining herself dancing the night away already.

"You wish to try your luck with the prince?" Tony looked concerned, he didn't want her to get too hopeful only for her to be let down in the end.

"Well yes. Admittedly it was my father who was the one that insisted both Natasha and I attend the ball, but I'm growing very excited as the day nears."

Tony was glad to see Wanda so excited over something other than his own love life.

She had spent so long hearing Tony's romantic stories, and it spurred her on. She longed to experience all the things Tony had shared, Wanda filled with anticipation at the new possibility.

"I'm glad you're pursuing something, or rather someone, that you want." Wanda blushed.

"I only advise you not to hope for too much, I've heard the prince is exceedingly hard to please."

Wanda nodded understandingly.

"Steve's also going to be attending the ball." Tony fell into his dreamy haze again and Wanda rolled her eyes affectionately.

"Maybe I'll see him there, I'll be sure to look for a 'dashing man with stunning blue eyes and a breathtaking smile.'" Tony laughed as Wanda recited Tony's description of Steve.

"I better head back downstairs before Howard finds us here." Tony picked up the broom he had previously abandoned and started to walk off.

"Wait" Wanda called, Tony turned his head and regarded her with a puzzled look.

"Why don't you go to the ball?" A beat.

Tony busted into laughter, tears rolled down his eyes as he clutched his stomach. Wanda frowned at him and watched as Tony fell to the ground and continued laughing. She even felt like joining in, but her pride was far too big.

"I haven't laughed like that in a long while." Tony said once he sobered down.

"Assuming you're done with your childish antics, I feel the need to tell you that I'm serious."

Tony looked at Wanda, confused. "Wanda, you know Howard won't let me go. He doesn't want me to represent the Stark family in any way."

Wanda pursed her lips in thought. "But there must be a way to get you to the ball, don't you want to see your own prince?" Tony nodded, he thought that Steve being called a prince was fitting, he was Tony's dashing prince after all.

"Then let's find a way to get you to attend the ball, without my father's knowledge." Tony agreed hesitantly, if Howard found out about their plan it wouldn't end well. Yet, Tony found that it was worth it if he could dance the night away with the man he loved.

***

"Tony." Wanda hissed, Tony peered around to see if he was being watched before he met Wanda in the garden. "We're going to the ball, wait half an hour before you take the horse." She gestured to the elegant horse next to the stables.

Tony agreed before wishing Wanda luck, she certainly needed it if she wished to captivate the prince. With that, Wanda set off towards the carriage awaiting her.

***

Steve eyed the dancing people disinterestedly, he had a partner after all. He would tell his parents about Tony soon enough, for they were growing frustrated with Steve. He knew they wanted him to marry, he could only hope that Tony would find it in his heart to forgive him.

Though Steve had lied to Tony, he was absolutely certain that he was the man he wanted to spend the rest of his days with.

Steve's parents were looking at him encouragingly. "Go ahead, son. Dance with some of the people here, after all you've been in search of a spouse for far too long now." Steve resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"I'm in no rush to find a spouse father, though you're most certainly eager."

Joseph was torn between amusement and helplessness. "I worry about you son, I encourage you to lead with a partner by your side, you are to be king soon."

Steve looked out into the dance floor warily, he decided that he wouldn't put off the inevitable any longer.

Steve wandered around, socializing with the guests. He hadn't asked anyone to dance yet, and it had mostly to do with the fact everyone seemed to be eyeing him like a piece of meat.

Steve met a pair of kind eyes across the room, he could tell the girl was modest, and he appreciated her simplicity. She wasn't flashy, for she hadn't worn any expensive jewelry, yet she carried herself elegantly. Steve went to greet her, he thought speaking to a genuine person would be a nice change.

"Hello." Steve smiled at the girl, she hurried to bow down. "Your majesty." Steve regarded her with an amused look. "There's no need for formalities, it makes me feel like my father." Steve grimaced, it made the girl laugh.

Steve smiled at that, he decided he liked her laugh.

"Would you care to dance?" The girl took his hand and nodded, with that Steve swept her off onto the dance floor. "I'm sorry for being so terribly rude, I never asked for your name."

"Wanda"

***

Joseph and Sarah watched as their son danced with the mystery girl. "Do you reckon she's the one, darling?" Sarah asked as she continued to watch the dancing couple, Joseph shook his head firmly.

"His heart is not in it, perhaps it is a possibility that he has already given his affections away."

Sarah eyed her husband suspiciously. "Are you suggesting he's been seeing someone?"

Joseph shrugged. "It would explain his unpredictable absences." Sarah considered the possibility, though the turmoil in her stomach didn't allow her to do much thinking.

Joseph looked at his beloved son sadly, he hoped he had been right. All he knew is that his son deserved to be happy, and that would accept any suitor Steve chose into the royal family.

The two parents weren't the only ones that had been watching the dancing pair, Howard smirked at the sight of his youngest daughter dancing with the prince, his night was going much better than he had expected.

***

Wanda felt like she was in a dream, she never wanted the magical night to end. She looked up at the prince dreamily, they were bound to be married soon if he felt for her as strongly as she did for him.

Wanda was so blinded by her desire for love that she hadn't noticed the respectful distance Steve kept between them, or Steve's friendly nature.

Steve started to lead Wanda into another dance, when he caught sight of a certain brunette.

Tony looked confused when he saw Steve on the dance floor with Wanda.

Steve cursed himself and pulled away from Wanda abruptly, he didn't know what to do, Tony wasn't meant to be there. Wanda grinned when she saw Tony, and she dragged Steve along to greet him.

"I'm glad to see you could make it, don't worry, Father is out in the gardens."

Steve and Tony looked at each other as if they were complete strangers. For once, they were both dressed nicely and not in the usual attire they wore they met up. "Tony, this is Prince Steven."

Tony blanched. "Prince?" Wands nodded, unsure of the reason why Tony looked so crestfallen.

Steve reached out to clasp the other man's hands into his own. "Tony.." He pleaded, Steve knew it would be difficult to get Tony to listen to him.

"I don't understand." Tony stammered.

"You're not the prince, are you?" Steve swallowed thickly, he couldn't lie himself out of this problem.

Steve's silence spoke volumes and Tony snatched his hands from Steve. "You've been lying to me!"

People were starting to watch the scene that was unfolding.

Wanda's confusion rivaled Tony's, what on earth was Tony on about? "Please, let's step out into the gardens to talk." Tony scoffed.

"There's nothing to talk about, this is complete madness!" Tony raved. "This ball was thrown for you to find your future spouse!"

Steve was very aware of the people who were now watching the spectacle. "You know I deny every marriage request, you told me so yourself."

Tony backed away slowly. "That doesn't change anything, I can't deal with all of this right now."

Wanda was still painfully confused, did Tony and the

prince already know each other?

"What is going on?" She demanded, Wanda's question went unnoticed as Steve tried to explain and apologize to Tony all at once.

It was all so overwhelming, the crowd's murmurs, Wanda's questions, Steve's sudden revelation, so Tony ran. He weaved his way through the crowd of people and ignored Steve's pleas for him to return.

The only thing he knew for certain right then as he ran out of the castle, was that he hadn't ever felt as betrayed as he did in that moment.

#fanfiction #one shot #imagines #marvel #stony #stevetony #tonysteve #tony stark #steve rogers

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atlas-of-a-human-soul · 4 years

Note

18, 19 & 24 for E?

18. "You're not gonna hurt me."

19. "I hate Halloween."

24. "I’m the tall dark stranger your parents warned you about."

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Warnings: murder, blood, violence, swearing

The curfew started an hour ago yet the streets were filled with trick or treaters. A part of her wondered if the parents who let their kids out unsupervised were sane, but then again, wasn’t she out as well?

The murders shaking up the little town had yet to stop, the seventh victim had been found.

Seven women, all drowned to death but it wasn’t before the killer had his sick fun with torturing them first.

Shuddering, Y/N wrapped her arms around herself, looking around for the reason why she’s outside. If it were up to her, she’d be holed up inside with a scary movie on and a big bowl of popcorn to satisfy her anxiety. His arm would be around her, easing the fear, and they’d steal glances at each other every so often until one of them would give up and steal a kiss.

Y/n’s ideal Halloween would have been just like that. Unfortunately, she agreed to go out for a movie date with her boyfriend and his twin who was in town for a night.

“AH!” She screamed as someone jerked her from behind, laughing and wheezing at the same time.

“You should ‘ave seen your face!!” Grayson cackled, falling on his ass from laughter and she frowned before looking to her boyfriend.

“I hate Halloween.” She rolls her eyes, standing by her statement as Grayson wheezes and Ethan chuckles.

“C’mon! It was funny!” Ethan opens his arms and while reluctant, Y/N embraces the opportunity to hold him close. He was her flame and she a moth who willingly played with fire.

“You scared me half to death.” Complaining, her words are muffled by his chest where she buried her face, all too embarrassed about the way she screamed and angry she’s so easily scared.

“As if anyone could hurt you when I’m around.” Ethan presses a sweet kiss atop her head, swaying her left to right. Gazing up at his face, she notices a beautiful smile adorning his plush lips and there’s a sense of pure awe washing over her.

Ethan is a man many would fall for. Many did.

Charming, incredibly witty and intelligent, he owned every room her entered. He didn’t even ask for the attention, it was given freely and in abundance. His good looks attracted girls, his sporty hobbies attracted the men and no matter how many times she asked herself how he could have fallen for her - a social misfit, her brain never could form a believable answer.

“We’ll be late, love birds! Save the smooching for the bedroom.” Grayson teased, going ahead of the two. It was known he was definitely a Halloween fan and while horror movies scared him, Grayson insisted on watching one every year.

Walking hand in hand, Y/N and Ethan reminisced. It was easy to get lost in the autumn magic, the colorful trees around them and the dim light of streetlights making them wish they were alone to kiss without anyone giving them dirty looks.

“I’m really glad you came with us tonight.” Ethan whispers, making Grayson shush him as result. The movie had started a while ago, nothing too interesting to keep Y/N’s attention. She had watched The Hills Have Eyes so many times before it just lost its appeal.

Moving her legs aside, Y/N had let a girl pass by, only to turn her attention back to Ethan.

“I’m glad you wanted me to.” Smiling sheepishly, she let him take her hand, watching him pull it up to his lips and press a tender kiss.

“Do you want anything? I’ll go to the bathroom quick.” He raises an eyebrow, expecting her to ask for a popcorn refill but she shakes her head.

“Just you to come back.” Her smile wide, Y/N pressed a kiss to the corner of his lips, even if he did shake his head and smirk at her instead of giving her a kiss she craved.

It was an unstoppable craving for Ethan ever since he first kissed her after Sociology. She was smitten, hopelessly infatuated by him.

“Count on it.” Pecking the tip of her nose, Ethan was quick to disappear, leaving Y/N with a growing unsteadiness within.

Minutes passed and she began to grow anxious. Nervously bouncing her leg, Y/N sighed, checking her phone a few times before texting Ethan who had not sent a reply.

Chewing on the inside of her bottom lip, she couldn’t even follow what’s happening on the screen, lost in her own thoughts and the possible reasons why he has yet to return.

Perhaps there was a line for the bathroom? Perhaps he just needed to take a dump? Maybe he decided to get her the popcorn anyway?

Whatever the reason may be, she was done waiting.

“Gray”, she whispered, getting his attention. “I’ll go check on E.” She stood up, catching a nod in acknowledgement before leaving.

She didn’t bother checking the entrance, heading for the bathroom straight away. She knocked on the men’s room, calling his name but there was no answer and her raging heart told her something’s wrong.

Instead of panicking, she figured she should call him again in case he didn’t hear the texts. Walking into the women’s room for privacy, Y/N had expected anything but what she found.

Her eyes noticed the blood on white tiles, contrasting like rubies in the winter snow. Her black boots were already in the puddle of the pungent smell of iron - the kind that one smells after rain had corroded the pipes.

Shaky hands, tense body, Y/N dared to look ahead and toward the body of the lifeless woman who was very much alive when she moved out of her way earlier. She had her eyes open just as she did in the theatre, but there was nothing behind them - no happiness nor pair, no hope for the future.

And that’s when she found the culprit walking out of a stall.

There’s no remorse on his angelic, blood splattered, face nor guilt in his hazel eyes. The lips who showed her nothing but tenderness now formed a scowl she could never erase from memory.

“E-Ethan?” She stuttered in disbelief, looking to the knife he clutched possessively with his left hand.

“You really should have stayed and watched the movie.” Ethan sighs, too dramatically for it to be real. He step over the body as if it’s trash, nearing Y/N who stumbled back only to crash into a wall.

Breathing shallow and fast, she no longer felt tense but broken and shaken beyond what she believed to be possible. Her mind spins with every step he gets closer and there’s no strength inside her to run.

She always thought in a situation where it’s “fight or flight” she’d be able to run, but her body froze, remaining at the mercy of the one she thought loved her.

“You’re not gonna hurt me.” Her tone lacked conviction, but her eyes remained on him.

Ethan could smell the fear on her. Even if she spoke valiantly, he’d see through her. Widen eyes, nostrils flared, breathing as if she had run a marathon? She feared him. And he liked it.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that, love.” He drawled it out, lifting his arm until the tip of his knife pressed against her throat. “You see, she thought so too.” Ethan cranes his neck so Y/N could see the victim behind him only to snap his head back into position, making her gasp.

“Why? At least tell me if it was all a lie?” Her shaky voice entertains him and the way her carotid pulses only excites him. She’s a pretty girl, but she’s gorgeous when she’s scared of him.

“What do you think?” He raises an eyebrow, a cunning smile spreading across his lips as her chin quivers. “I’m the tall dark stranger your parents warned you about.”

But before he makes the fatal cut, Ethan hears the sirens. It’s unlikely they’re for him, but he can never be too careful.

“I guess it’s your lucky night, love. Do clean up and head back. I’ll join shortly.” Nodding his head toward the door, Ethan steps back, bringing the tip of the blade to his lips. “And be quiet if you know what’s good for you.”

Pushing the heavy door, Y/N ran out, her legs finally serving her right. She ran past the theatre, straight to the register.

“Call 911!”

Her instincts told her not to. Her treacherous heart screamed at her to pretend she didn’t see anything. She wanted to. She really wanted to pretend, but as the guy asked questions why, she covered her mouth and held back a sob.

Shaking her head, she turned away and ran outside as the guy called the police regardless of her lacking response, aware she could be the reason why Ethan is apprehended.

And that should make her feel good, right? She should be happy? It certainly looked like he was the killer everyone’s been talking about, so why didn’t she feel good about it? Why did she feel sick to her stomach with the thought of never having his arms around her?

Perhaps she was just as mad as he is.

As the night went on, Y/N remained in her bed, terrified to turn on the news. But she had to. Something told her she had to.

‘The Beast has struck again, leaving the county police with yet another horrendous death on their hands. The cashier at the movies told us there was a girl running out of the bathroom, instructing him to call the police. It is unclear if the girl had witnessed the murder or just found the body, but as of now, no arrests have been made. The cameras were disconnected at the time of the murder and an hour after. According to the police, the footage of the witness and possible murderer is unrestrainable.’

“Fuck.” Y/N mutters under her breath. Not only did the news just tell Ethan she had called the cops, but they also confirmed he wasn’t even a suspect. That means...

“Knock, knock!” She heard the pounding on her front door, breaking her out of her thoughts. The voice is familiar, the one she once adored now making her question everything.

“Open up and let’s have a nice chat!”

#dolan twins #ethan dolan #ethan dolan x reader #ethan dolan au #dolan twins halloween blurbs #halloween prompts #grayson dolan

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hecohansen31 · 5 years

Text

What The Queen Wants, The Queen Gets (Prologue)

Ivar The Boneless+Roman Godfrey+Axel Cluney+Mickey+Reader (Reverse Harem! AU).

(A/N): Hello there, lovelies!

So not to kinkshame somebody but me and @walkxthexmoon literally went like ‘threesome are too mainstream, we are just going to go on with an orgy’, but like a ‘classy orgy’ about a theme i have always been curious about which is reverse harem.

I honestly hope that this won’t seem disrespectful to anybody, but if it is just shoot me a DM or ask and I’ll say what I can do.

Also, as always, if you are interested to see more let me know, alongside which character(s) you want to see interact in the next chapters, in fact I will choose thank to yours comments, so let me know which character(s) you want to see and if you like this concept!

WARNINGS; Mention of Sex, Death, Blood, Fighting, War, Poly-Relationship, Reverse Harem.

You had never wanted the fighting, the conquering and the blood on your hands.

You had been a small girl, raised by an ambitious mother, under the shadow of a bastard brother, who you had loved with all your heart till at your sixteenth birthday your father’s death had completely destroyed your relationship

You remembered the guards’ faces when they had killed your mother in front of you, as her head had rolled at your feet and your blasphemous brother had taken the scepter for himself, ordering the sacred priest to put the crown on his head, as you choked on your tears.

Five years of civil war later, your kingdom was again yours, but the inner tumult had rendered it weak to the countries that stood in the confines of your reign, enough that when you had thought you could put down the sword stained with your brother’s blood, you had picked it up again, your hold on it strong and determined as you raised you chin high and fought.

Till your hands bleed and your conscience forgot the reason behind such a horrid act, hurting yourself the same way you did when you perceived your enemies’ breastplates, on the battlefield.

Peace is what you had always aimed to, conquering new countries had been a side effect of it.

You were now twenty-six and reigning over various country with no knowledge of what being a normal girl meant.

Finally, peaceful, if you excluded the continuous rebellions from the poorer and the way nobles rejected your position any chance they got.

That’s why you had instituted that for each kingdom you had conquered you would have somebody who you could trust, reigning it, somebody inside the country itself, bound to you by the most primal of things.

Sex.

If there ever was something that your bastard brother had taught you was that sex was wanted, among men and women alike, in different measures surely, but they were like drunk men under it: rebellious and yet, submissive once they gained what they wanted.

And it was a perfect idea for you to enjoy yourself, washing away the blood on your hands and the heaviness of a kingdom on your shoulder, as you let your many lovers take care of you.

Somebody might call you greedy or a whore.

You know that your advisors did, but when your enemies serviced you with their tongues and pricks you didn’t care in the slightest.

Your first man had been Roman of Hemlock Grove, a small cursed land more a hassle than a gain, but your first lover certainly had made it worthy.

He had come to you, in your tent, as the deals among your countries were being signed, seduced you to give him your virginity and he had taught you the reason behind the pleasurable arts of having a man inside you, as he brought you to your knees over and over again, and then proceeded to fix your crown the following day.

Smirking at you as he shared your secret.

Axel Cluney was a warrior on the battlefield and you had imagined immediately the way he would feel on you as he panted in your ear the dirtiest curses, before spilling himself in you.

He had been disappointed to discover that he wasn’t your first.

‘You just looked so positively innocent’.

‘Innocent? I was drenched in the blood of your soldiers, when you first saw me’

‘You know what I mean, little girl, but let me show you as a true man should fuck you’.

And he had kept his word, pushing himself into you in a slow rhythm, much different from Roman’s savage one, making you enjoy the atrocious torture of having him inside of you.

But what you enjoyed with Axel was the way he would be soft with you, listening to your blabber with no sharp words or teasing smirks, letting you lay down your many ideas as you spoke with him.

He didn’t understand many things, but he still caressed your hair and made you feel like the only woman that belonged in the world, in a romantic atmosphere that made you feel almost loved.

Hadn’t you known that Axel would gladly stick a knife in your chest, had you ever let him in.

Mickey would, instead, never ever dare to hurt you, you could literally put a knife in his hands and he would cry.

The smallest son of the reigning family of the country you had conquered had been strangely pliant to you from the start, which was nice, because he was completely at your orders, following them to extremes.

When you did nothing but follow the orders of hungry men to keep your country sated, it was nice to come home to somebody who would love nothing more than to spend his entire day between your thighs, soothing your worry with his soft cries and his needy whimpers, constantly asking for attention as a child.

And then there was the latest addiction: Ivar.

Ivar The Boneless had come to you, asking for help in defeating his brother and you couldn’t deny that you loved one man that took the initiative, and one that looked at you like him, with hate and shyness on his face.

You had always been distant and cold with him, since he had always seemed uneasy about your feminine features, you had tried your best to appear as more of a queen than a woman to him, but he hadn’t dismissed his barriers.

And you hadn’t felt less interested in the man.

But you were still painfully aware of the limit of your body.

But had done one last try, undressing in front of him as he came to you one night to sign the papers of your allegiance; you faked getting ready for bed as you moved into a sheer nightgown as you set yourself in front of him, his gaze having followed you, the entire time.

‘What is your plan?’ he asked as you set up on the table ‘… you already have my country, what more do you want?’.

‘The honor of laying with you’ you spoke slowly, pushing yourself closer to him, till your lips met his across the table ‘… I am simply smitten with you’.

‘I am a fucking cripple, queen’ he had shot back, but hadn’t backed off, as you had come around the table and sat on his lap.

‘I have never fucked a cripple, is it different?’ you had teased him, pushing him close to you as he had refused to look at you in the eyes, but his manhood spoke a different story ‘… because if there is one thing that I am curious about, it is fucking’.

He had pushed you onto the table and let you ride him till your nightgown was in shreds down your body and you were almost too sore, as you handed him the papers to sign his freedom over.

When he signed them that hateful glare in his blue eyes dimmed, but you knew the truth.

A cripple wasn’t different from any other man.

And he certainly didn’t feel different from any man who served you and fell in love with you.

Maybe everything in your life hadn’t been of your choice, but you certainly didn’t regret the men you had met on your journey.

#Ivar The Boneless #Roman Godfrey #Mickey #Axel Cluney #Ivar #Ivar The Boneless Reader #Ivar Reader #Roman Godfrey Reader #Mickey Reader #Axel Cluney Reader #Smut #Ivar The Boneless Fic #Roman Godfrey Fic #Mickey Fic #Axel Cluney Fic #Hemlock Grove #Vikings

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flightfoot · 4 years

Text

Divergent Points - Reflekdoll

AO3/FFN

Thanks to @galahadwilder for idea bouncing!

Oh yeah, this is a bit late, but I figure @alya-appreciation-week might appreciate this with the Kwami Swap. Because Ladybug!Alya and Black Cat!Nino are awesome.

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Alya grinned. Marinette may no longer need help finding opportunities to hang out with Adrien (as Chat Noir at least), nor to push her to get closer to him, but still, any opportunity that Marinette and Adrien had to really spend time with each other as civilians was something to treasure. And getting to participate in a group activity? Even better.

Adrien and Marinette talking with each other about fashion, giving tips, making jokes, really just having a conversation without any stress or anxiety? Not something she’d have thought was possible even a month ago. Finding out that Adrien was Chat Noir really let her relax around him.

Of course the rest of the class had noticed, and many of them were suspicious, but they’d deflected it as best they could. They’d considered telling the rest of the class about Marinette and Adrien dating, but had eventually decided against it. Most of them would be thrilled, but between Chloe potentially lashing out at Marinette if she discovered that Adrien had fallen for her and the ambiguous threat that Lila represented? It wasn’t worth it.

Time to film the main model!

She turned her phone from Adrien and Marinette towards Juleka. She wasn’t filming yet, but if there was one thing she’d learned from running the Ladyblog, it was to always be ready to press that record button.

“How about a little smile for the camera, Juleka?”

Juleka looked up, mumbling something quietly, barely coherently. It sounded like “I don’t think this is such a good idea guys?” With the way her words were blending together, it was hard to tell.

Juleka had been the one to put herself forward as a model earlier, but now she seemed weirdly freaked out. But this wasn’t like Marinette’s freak outs. Those tended to be a lot louder and more obvious, and a lot easier to pinpoint the cause of (Adrien. Almost always Adrien).

By contrast, Juleka seemed a lot more restrained, but in a way that was even more worrying. With Marinette she knew what was going on. With Juleka, she just kinda appeared freaked out and barely responsive, looking down at the ground, eyes darting around, mumbling, and with not being able to hear her really well, she wasn’t even sure what the issue was, much less how to fix it.

Marinette walked over to Juleka, holding onto her shoulders and talking to her comfortingly. Alya relaxed slightly. She wasn’t sure what to do, but Marinette was pretty talented. Maybe she’d be able to help Juleka through… whatever was going on?

She frowned. Juleka was hyperventilating now, even with Marinette there with her.

Hm. 11:30. They didn’t have long before Adrien would have to leave to go have lunch with his father. Whatever they did, they’d have to do soon.

Marinette spoke soothingly to Juleka. “It was great of you to volunteer to model for me, but I can tell you’re not feeling that comfortable about it. Would you prefer if someone stood in for you? These are my designs, I really should model them myself…”

If someone stood in for-

Oh.

OH.

This was perfect!

Adrien was already a model, and Marinette’s designs were unisex, fitting both men and women and looking good on them too. And, naturally, she already had versions on hand that were the right size for both herself and Adrien. (Come on, like she WOULDN’T design clothes in her kitty’s size).

It would be perfect for showing off Marinette’s range for her website!

…Okay so the main reason was because she’d get some matching clothing couple pics out of it. So sue her, they were cute together.

She was still waiting for the day they would get their first hamster together. She wasn’t sure who would be most likely to die of cuteness overload first, Marinette when cooing over the hamster, Adrien for cooing over the hamster AND how cute Marinette was, or herself for cooing over the cuteness of all of them.

Oh who was she kidding, it would be Adrien. The boy was such a smitten kitten.

Wait, what was she thinking about?

Oh yeah. New models for the photoshoot!

“Of course! Awesome idea Marinette!”

Alya grabbed Marinette and yanked her over next to Adrien, positioning them close enough to both be in frame of a potential camera. “If we want to show off how truly awesome this design is for both boys and girls, it’d be best to have the photoshoot with both a girl and a guy! You in Adrien?”

He shrugged. “If it helps. Could be fun! A lot more interesting than my regular photoshoots at least.”

“Perfect! Give Marinette your suit Juleka.”

She didn’t wait for a response, already grabbing the hat off of Juleka’s head and pushing Marinette and Adrien towards two shades they’d set up for any outfit changes.

This was going to be SO. COOL. Even better than the original plan!

The two of them emerged minutes later. She wasn’t surprised that Adrien was so fast at changing, he certainly had enough experience. Marinette was a bit more of a surprise, but she was used to acting fast, so maybe it wasn’t TOO surprising. Plus she was intimately familiar with the outfit and the accessories, which probably helped with the changing speed.

They looked so awesome! With the simple dark blue shirt with black stripes, the outfits were well-suited for casual wear, but the pop of color from the red berets and the addition of the rings and clip-on earrings added some extra interest that took the outfits to the next level!

Wait… rings and earrings…

She glanced at Adrien’s hand and at Marinette’s ears. Both of them were wearing the accessories for the outfit rather than their Miraculous.

She pulled them aside quickly.

“Adrien? Marinette? Where are your Miraculous?”

They both looked slightly uncomfortable, patting their bags.

Ok. So they weren’t wearing them right now, but they were close by. This would be fine. It was only going to be for a little bit, less than an hour. Surely Hawkmoth wouldn’t attack during this tiny little window of time.

Right?

…Maybe she should call for back-up. You know, just in case.

She sent off a quick text to Nino, asking him to meet up with her and the others at Marinette’s house. If there was an emergency, she knew she could count on him.

“Ok, let’s do this quickly before Adrien has to go back.”

They tried a few different positions in the room, but unfortunately-

Alya frowned. “Marinette, I don’t think your room has the best lighting for this. It’s a little too dim.”

Hm. It would mean more of a delay, but- “Maybe we should go outside? It’ll be brighter out there, and the background will be more appealing. Plus there’ll be more room for different shots.”

Alya following Marinette’s gaze as she glanced over at Juleka. She looked better now – well at least she wasn’t hyperventilating or mumbling. Slightly downcast maybe? But at least she didn’t seem ready to collapse to the ground.

The group started heading downstairs. Well, all except for one.

Juleka shook her head. “I’d rather not come.”

Rose looked put-out. “What? Why not?”

Juleka turned away from everyone. “It’s nothing, I just…”

Alya frowned as she checked the time, missing the rest of what Juleka mumbled. “We’ve got to head out now if we’re gonna do this, we only have thirty minutes left!”

Marinette called up to Juleka, looking uncertain. “Well, if you’re sure. Feel free to make yourself at home, we’ll be back soon.”

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Nino met up with them on the ground floor. Marinette living so close to Francois-Dupont definitely came in handy sometimes.

“What’s going on dudes?”

Alya smiled. Seeing Nino never failed to lift her spirits. “There’s been a change of plans, we’re heading outside for the photoshoot. You up for it?”

He blinked. “Sure. Where to?”

He looked around. “And where’s Juleka?”

“She said she wanted to stay behind.”

Nino frowned. “Is she okay?”

“She said it was nothing.”

Nino glanced up at the top floor, where Marinette’s bedroom – and Juleka – were, but didn’t say anything.

“We can talk to her later if you want,” Alya suggested, “but we’re on a time crunch here.”

Nino hesitated, seeming conflicted. Finally he gave in. “Ok, where’re we going? And how’re we getting there?”

Adrien perked up. “I can take care of that!”

A few moments later, they were all squeezed into the backseat of the Agreste family car. Or, well, one of them. Alya hadn’t exactly kept track. Surely they had a second one in case Gabriel needed to go somewhere?

…Then again, Gabriel almost never left the house.

Alya had… OPINIONS on Gabriel. Between what Adrien had told her and the others a few weeks ago during the Chameleon incident, and what she knew from personal experience… well, most of what she had to say about him couldn’t be spoken of in polite company.

At least Marinette’s family had practically adopted Chat Noir. Adrien had seemed a lot happier and well-assured these past three weeks. She wished that Adrien could just move in with them already, but Nathalie would probably notice that.

She bet that if it was just Gabriel they could manage it though. For a guy who never left home, he sure didn’t spend much time with his son. Though that might be a blessing in disguise.

At least Adrien had Gorilla when he was at the manor. The man wasn’t exactly talkative, but he clearly cared for Adrien and gave him more slack than anyone else did.

Speaking of which…

The car halted. It was fortunate the school, Marinette’s house, and the Eiffel Tower were so close together, or they wouldn’t have had a prayer of finishing this within the time frame.

It wasn’t long before they had everything set up for the shoot. Marinette and Adrien had a few nice poses – nothing too coupley sadly, they had to keep that on the down-low for now. But still really nice pics that showed off the clothes well.

Then the giant Reflekta doll robot stomped into view.

Well, crap.

“Hello, my friends,” she heard Juleka’s voice call out bitterly. “I’ve got something special for your video.”

…And there were the giant laser beams. Welp, typical Tuesday she guessed.

She was more concerned with what was going on with Juleka. She’d seemed a little off when they left, but badly enough to get akumatized?

A small nagging feeling built in her stomach. Juleka’d been freaking out and hyperventilating, she KNEW that, she’d just… well she didn’t know why or how to help, so she’d just… brushed it off. And Juleka had seemed a little downcast when they left, but she’d been so focused on her whole “get Adrien and Marinette in cute matching outfits” crusade, she’d just… brushed right past any niggling feeling she had that something was wrong.

“I’m sorry Juleka, I should’ve stayed with you!” Rose cried, looking distraught.

“I am not Juleka, I’m Reflekta.” The giant Reflekta-bot fired a laser at Rose, which she barely managed to dodge in time. “Everyone always forgot about Juleka anyway.”

The nagging feeling deepened into guilt. Because yes, Alya HAD forgotten about Juleka. She hadn’t meant to hurt her, hadn’t been malicious at all! She just… just hadn’t given her much thought.

Marinette, Adrien, and Nino may be her closest friends, but that didn’t mean that she should forget about her other friends when they needed help.

Glancing quickly around, she saw Marinette and Adrien quickly dash towards some concealed spots.

Perfect! They’d transform soon and-

OH DOUBLE CRAP.

SHE KNEW THEM TAKING OFF THEIR MIRACULOUS WAS A BAD IDEA.

Okay, okay, so Juleka had been transformed into Reflekta again, this time with a giant mech to help her, and Ladybug and Chat Noir couldn’t transform.

Well today was just peachy, wasn’t it?

Ok good. They were heading towards the car now.

Aaaaand the Reflekmech was turning around to face them.

Maybe she should just stop thinking optimistic thoughts. The universe wasn’t looking kindly on tempting fate today.

They dove behind the car.

“You stole my limelight, Marinette,” Reflekta snarled. “I was supposed to be the star of the photoshoot!”

No. Marinette didn’t do that.

She had.

She’d gotten an idea in her head about what she wanted to happen, and she’d brushed aside any obstacle to getting it done.

Obstacles including Juleka.

Heck, she’d taken the hat right off of Juleka’s head, barely even looking at her as she did it!

Alya’d always known she had a bit of a one-track mind, but seeing the negative results of that so clearly displayed…

How many other people had she accidentally hurt in her overeagerness?

“But- you told me you didn’t want to!” Marinette shouted at Reflekta, indignant.

“You didn’t let me explain,” Reflekta told Marinette. Then she blasted her with a Reflekt laser, turning her into a Reflekta clone.

How many times could Murphy’s Law activate over the course of two minutes? Because this was getting ridiculous.

“Ha! Maybe you’ll understand me better now that you’re in MY shoes!”

Honestly, if she thought it would help, Alya would stand in the way of a beam herself. She still didn’t quite understand what was going on with Juleka, but with the hints that she HAD gotten? She wanted to learn more. To figure out just what she’d done wrong, and how to do it right next time.

Adrien tried to open the trunk, to no avail. Of course not, like Gorilla would be incompetent enough to leave it unlocked. She guessed that Adrien hadn’t had to get a lot of things out of the trunk himself though, so it was understandable that he didn’t know.

Oh. And now the Reflekmech had picked up the car with the Miraculous, thrown it, and Reflekta’d Adrien. She supposed that might as well happen at this point.

This was so much less nervewracking back in the days when she had Ladybug and Chat Noir on pedestals as invincible superheroes, and didn’t realize that they were just kids like herself.

Ok. What could she do to help?

“Alya!” Nino shouted.

She startled. With how hard she was concentrating on Adrien and Marinette, along with thinking about her own role in this akumatization, she’d completely forgotten that she’d asked him to come just in case something like this happened.

He hurried over to her. “What do you think we should-“

A beam of light interrupted his sentence. Two seconds later, both of them were a lot more pink and in far less practical shoes than they were before.

Juuuuust great.

At least they kept their own voices. It’d be a nightmare telling people apart otherwise.

“For now? Run!”

She took him by the hand as they bolted, trying to help keep him moving without stumbling. She was decent at running in heels – they weren’t exactly her favorite kind of shoes to wear, but she had some experience at least. Nino had none.

Get away from akuma now, plan later. Maybe try to find the Miraculous and Adrien and Marinette? That was less of a “plan” and more of an “aspiration” though.

“Ladybug? Ladybug?” She heard a familiar voice call out faintly.

She froze, causing Nino to bump into her. “Why did you-“

She put her fingers to her lips, silencing him. Looking up, she scanned the sky.

A small red-and-black blur darted around.

“Tikki?” she called out, wanting to attract her attention, but no one else’s.

Hordes more people ran past her screaming.

…She probably didn’t need to worry about that too much, come to think of it. There was a bit of a distraction going on already.

Tikki flew over to them. “Alya?”

She nodded.

“Nino?” she asked, looking to her side.

He nodded as well.

“Where’s Plagg?” he asked.

“Still trying to find Chat Noir. I’ve been trying to find Ladybug, but…” her antenna drooped.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Alya told her, “I’m sure you’ll find her eventually.”

The bug kwami perked up, eyes widening.

Ooh. Alya knew that face. That was the ‘I’ve got a brilliant idea’ face.

“Alya, how would you feel about being Ladybug?”

Her?

Be Ladybug?

She’d be lying if she said it’d never crossed her mind. Heck, after finding out that Marinette had wanted her to be Ladybug, that she’d even tried to give her the Miraculous because she believed she’d be a better Ladybug than her? Alya’d daydreamed about it for weeks, what might have been.

Not that Alya was unhappy with the way things had turned out – Marinette was a BRILLIANT Ladybug, she doubted that anyone else could make use of it the way she did – but it made a girl wonder.

She reached out eagerly for the Miraculous… and hesitated.

Back when she’d first transformed into Rena Rouge, she’d nearly let her ambition and desire to be a superhero override the promise she’d made to Ladybug. Her promise won out, but it’d taken a little pushing from Trixx.

Was she making the same mistake, letting her desire to be Ladybug, something she’d dreamt of since the superhero had first appeared all those months ago, override what was right?

“…Are you sure?” she asked. “This whole mess was partly my fault to begin with. Whatever was going on with Juleka, I should’ve stayed and listened, but I got so caught up in my own idea for the photoshoot I just… sorta ignored her.”

Tikki smiled at her. “You made a mistake. That’s okay, Alya. Just apologize once we fix this and be a little more careful next time.”

She bit her lip. “Are you sure I can do this though? Ladybug’s always coming up with all these crazy plans. My mind doesn’t work the way hers does.”

The little bug flew up close to Alya. “Remember what she told you before? You might not be able to do things the way she does, but you can do them the way YOU do. I’ve had lots of different Ladybug, each one different. You can do this.”

“She’s right,” Nino spoke up. “You might not come up with the super complicated plans that Ladybug does, but you can do them your own way. You’ve got this.”

She smiled at Nino and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. It was a little weird with them both still being Reflekta clones, but they made it work.

Taking a deep breath, she held out her hand. “Okay. I’m ready.”

Tikki dropped the earrings into her hand. Automatically they turned from the spotted earrings she knew, to solid orange ones.

Ah. Camouflage mode at work. Not a huge surprise they were orange for her, since that was her favorite color.

She went to put them on… and paused.

“Uh… Tikki?” she said. “My ears aren’t pierced. Or Reflekta’s, for that matter.”

“No problem!” she said cheerfully. “Marinette’s aren’t either.”

RECORD SCREECH.

“WHAT?!”

“Shh!” Nino pushed Alya around the corner, trying to keep her out of sight.

A group of Reflekta’d people looked around, trying to find out where the shouting was coming from.

Luckily Reflekmech started stomping their way, so they booked it pretty hastily.

Yay for giant robots bearing down on them?

“The earrings magically pierce the wielder’s ears when you try to put them on, and unpierce them when you take them off,” Tikki hissed. “All the piercing Miraculous are like that.”

Seriously?

Wait…

“Other piercing Miraculous? There are MORE?!”

“Ah, well, you know…” Tikki shook herself. “Never mind that, we have other things to worry about!”

Alya gave Tikki a searching look. “You’re right. Don’t think I’ll just forget about the other Miraculous though, I AM going to ask more about them later.”

Tikki looked away.

Alya looked at the Miraculous quizzically. “So I just hold them up to my ears…?”

Tikki looked back at her, nodding happily. Alya got the distinct feeling she was thrilled with the subject change. “Just pretend you’re putting on normal earrings, the Miraculous will do the rest.”

Well she’d never done that before, but maybe intention was good enough?

She moved one to her ear lobe, squeezing her eyes shut.

Then, it was in.

Eyes widening, she felt the earring.

There it was, secured like a perfectly normal earring. At least so it seemed, until she felt around it and noticed that there was no “hole” exactly, that it was sticking out of. It was almost like it phased through her ear.

Hm. Maybe it was related to how Kwamis could phase through things? She’d seen Tikki do that back when Marinette first met her.

Focus, Alya. Investigate Miraculous later, defeat akuma now!

Putting the other earring in (and honestly it was still weird how it DIDN’T feel weird to do that) she took a deep breath, looking to Nino and Tikki for encouragement.

They both grinned and nodded, Nino giving her a thumbs up as well.

Okay. Time to do this.

“Tikki, SPOTS ON!”

She shivered for a moment as the pink light rushed over her.

Blinking, she looked at her hands.

Red and black spots.

Her heart pounded.

She was Ladybug!

Or rather…

She looked back at Nino, staring at her with awe and pride (not that unusual to see from him, but it made her heart skip every time).

She smiled back at him. “Time to introduce Paris to Marybug!”

Nino gaped. “Wait, what?!”

Alya smiled. “What, did you think I hadn’t picked out a name already? Even before I knew what – and who – Ladybug and Chat Noir actually were, I daydreamed about being in their shoes. And finding out that I was almost the Ladybug Miraculous Wielder – well, I was going to at least consider what I could’ve named myself.”

Nino shook his head. “Yes, but – Marybug? That sounds way too similar to ‘Maribug’, aren’t you worried someone might draw the connection?”

She laughed. “That’s what makes the name so perfect! See, here’s the thing – it actually makes sense when researched, and I assure you, the Ladyblog is gonna have a front page article about this in the next few days. It turns out, that the ‘Lady’ in ‘Ladybug’, is actually supposed to be the Virgin Mary. So it’s just replacing ‘Lady’ with ‘Mary’. And if it just so happens that it sounds like ‘Maribug’, and Chat ever slips up and starts to call Ladybug ‘Mari’ or ‘Maribug’ or anything like that, well… it’ll be embarrassing that he almost called his partner by the name of a different Ladybug Miraculous wielder, but that’ll be all.”

Nino chuckled. “Should’ve known you had a plan with that name.”

She smirked. “…Also, it’s just a fun little reference”.

Throwing her yo-yo, she swung away, ready to make her (second) superhero debut.

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This was a goddamn MESS.

At least most civilians had already fled. (Though it took a little longer than usual. Those heels were hard enough to WALK in, running in them when you had no prior experience with the giant hat thing unbalancing you? No thanks.)

So. Yo-yo. She’d practiced a little with a toy one she’d bought, imagining what it’d be like to swing on one, so she had a teeny bit of experience? She guessed?

Well at least she was an expert on the moves Ladybug used. Even Adrien probably hadn’t studied them in as much detail.

Hm. Competition for later maybe?

FOCUS, MARYBUG. FOCUS.

She shook her head.

Ok. What first?

Maybe try to contain it? It was bad enough running rampant over here, best to stop it from leveling more residential buildings.

She flung her yo-yo at the Eiffel Tower and some nearby lightpoles, creating a makeshift fence.

Downside: the lightpoles were too flimsy and she’d aimed too low to make an effective fence. It tore the lightpoles right out of the ground.

Upside: It tripped.

The mech crashed, Reflekta’s startled scream ringing out.

Yes! Point one for Marybug!

Leaping down, she ran at her downed foe. If Reflekta was controlling the doll, maybe removing her would stop it?

She pulled back to throw her yo-yo, and barely dodged the beam from the Reflekta robot’s eyes.

Oh, right. It could still do that. That was bad.

So just sending the robot crashing to the ground was out. That HELPED, it stopped it from moving around as much and restricted its range of attack, but she still couldn’t actually stop it from attacking, and she couldn’t get Reflekta out that way.

And if getting Reflekta out didn’t stop this robot… what then?

Lucky Charm? This was pretty early in the fight, but Ladybug DID usually call for one if she was stuck…

LIGHTPOLE

So, don’t stop and ponder, because apparently Reflekta had figured out she could get even MORE range (as if the Reflekta laser beams weren’t enough) by using a lightpole as a makeshift bat.

Dangit, WHY WERE THE VILLAINS ALLOWED TO IMPROVISE WEAPONS.

Also, a partner would be really nice right now! No wonder Ladybug and Chat Noir were sent out together; fighting an akuma by yourself without having someone to distract the supervillain was a NIGHTMARE. Maybe if she had a more purely offensive Miraculous that would make sense, but the Ladybug miraculous was built around tricks and plans. She needed time to think and plan; time she wasn’t getting right now.

A familiar staff smacked the lightpole out of the mech’s hand.

Awesome! Plagg must’ve found-

She took a closer look.

And did a double-take.

Still a black suit with cat ears, but this time the ears were attached to a black hood, and the seams of the outfit were bright green.

She grinned. “So, what’s your name, handsome?”

“Uh- what-“ he spluttered, looking taken aback.

She rolled her eyes as she tackled her boyfriend out of the way of a beam.

“Your superhero name! You’re not using the turtle anymore, ‘Carapace’ doesn’t make sense.”

He stared at her. “I give up. How can you always recognize me?!”

Her gaze softened. “You’re always there when I need you. I need a partner to take down this akuma; of COURSE it’s gonna be you.”

He blushed.

She laughed.

“ARE YOU SERIOUSLY IGNORING ME RIGHT NOW?!” Reflekta screamed, her mech barreling towards them.

She flinched. Ok, flirt later, akuma now. Bad enough she’d shoved Juleka to the side earlier, she didn’t want to repeat that mistake.

Especially since this time she might get flattened or Reflekta’d (again) if she did. That would be bad.

“Can you keep the mech busy? I need some time to think,” she said, dodging another beam.

“There’s something you need to know first,” he told her. He motioned for her to follow him to an out-of-the-way rooftop.

Marybug frowned. What info could Nino have picked up in the last two minutes? She’d JUST left him!

“So, less than a minute after you swung away, Plagg flew by calling for Chat Noir. Of course I answered him. He gave me some new info before I transformed. Apparently both that robot and the purple moth on Heroes Day were sentimonsters, creations of the Peacock Miraculous. They work a lot like the Butterfly MIraculous’s akumas, except the object that’s infected – it’s called an amok by the way – doesn’t transform the person themselves. A sentimonster just kinda… manifests. Whoever holds the amok controls the sentimonster.”

“…Well that would’ve been nice to know earlier. Why didn’t Tikki mention this?!”

Nino shrugged. “Maybe she forgot? Or she didn’t realize she was allowed to? Plagg mentioned something about having gotten permission to fill us in.”

Honestly she was surprised he’d waited for permission. He didn’t strike her as the type.

Wait… if the amok was used to control the sentimonster…

“Reflekta must have the amok!” she realized.

But… crap. How to get to her?

“Hey… uh… okay I give up, what should I call you?”

He thought for a moment. “Call me Panther.”

“Panther, can you keep the robot occupied? I want to see if I can spot something I can use to get in or get Reflekta out, or some pattern in its movements – SOMETHING we can use to take Reflekta and the sentimonster down. Hard to do that while dodging attacks.”

He nodded, pole-vaulting away.

She slapped her cheeks.

Ok. Focus, Marybug. Everyone’s counting on you and Panther. You can DO this!

Panther smacked the Senti-bot with his staff, dodging its attacks and just generally keeping it occupied, but doing no real damage.

The attack and movement seemed the same as ever, nothing special ther-

OOH

THAT SLOT ON THE BACK OF THE MECH’S HEAD LOOKED IMPORTANT.

Hm… but how to access it? She didn’t have something to open it with, and besides, it wasn’t like the sentimonster was just gonna stand still and let her and Panther get inside.

Well, if she didn’t have everything she needed right now, then…

“LUCKY CHARM!”

She’d wanted to do that for so long!

A remote fell into her hands.

…Huh.

What the heck could she use it for? Did it control something in particular? Or was it gonna be one of those weirder, utterly insane Lucky Charms that no one in their right minds would be able to decipher?

(Seriously, she wasn’t sure whether Marinette was a genius, crazy, or both. Probably both.)

She pressed a few random buttons.

Far away, she spotted a giant TV screen – one that normally displayed ads, but occasionally broadcasted news to the masses, like akuma attacks – turning on.

Right now it just showed static – nothing was being broadcasted, not on that channel.

Not yet.

A grin slowly spread over her face.

Marinette had her insane Macgyvering (some people had started calling it Ladybugging, something Alya THOROUGHLY supported) but Alya?

Alya knew how to put on a show and draw people’s attention.

Jumping out of cover, she waved frantically.

Panther dodged and weaved around the sentimonster’s attacks, extricating himself from the fight and making his way over to Marybug.

“COME BACK HERE! STOP LEAVING ME AND GIVE ME YOUR MIRACULOUS!” Reflekta roared.

Marybug winced. Well THERE was another one for the guilt trip.

“You got something?” Panther asked quietly, just in case Reflekta could hear them and zone in on their location.

(Probably unnecessary. With how loud the beam firing was and how far away the robot was, she doubted Reflekta could hear anything short of screaming at the tops of their lungs.)

“I think so.” She pointed at a nearby metal beam the Reflektmech had knocked over. “Think you can cataclysm this into a long, thin sheet of metal? About a foot wide and an inch thick, if you can manage it.”

“…Maybe? Not like I’ve ever done this before, but I can give it a shot? Why?”

She explained her plan.

He grinned. “Babe, have I ever told you how much I love you?”

“Only every day. Now c’mon, let’s show the world what Marybug and Panther can do!”

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Let’s see, where was she? She had about as much sense of self-preservation as Alya did, she had to be-

Ah!

Probably should’ve expected her near the TV; that area had a good view of the chaos, while being out-of-the-way of it.

“Don’t be bemused, it’s just the news!”

Marybug landed in front of Nadja. “Could I take the microphone for a minute?”

Nadja stared for a moment, but shook it off. Handing it over, she asked, “Who are you and the new mysterious superhero? Are you two replacing Ladybug and Chat Noir? What’s happened to Paris’s favorite duo?”

Marybug gave the camera a confident smile, making sure to press her remote’s button so the TV was tuned to the channel Nadja was broadcasting to. “I’m Marybug, and my partner’s Panther! Don’t worry, we’re only replacing Ladybug and Chat Noir temporarily. They’ll be back soon; I wouldn’t be surprised if you saw them later today in fact.

But enough about us; I’d like to interview the true star of show, Reflekta!”

“WHAT?”

Reflekmech turned around, stomping towards Marybug.

Hearing low voices? Probably couldn’t do that in a mech.

Hearing a gigantic TV cranked up as loud as it would go? Now THAT she could hear.

“Reflekta – what would you like to tell the public. Everyone’s here watching and listening to you!”

For a moment Reflekta was silent, the mech completely still. Then-

“You’re really listening? You’re not gonna brush me off and ignore me?”

“No. This is YOUR show. It’s all about YOU. You’re not going to fade away into the background and be lost; not now.”

Reflekta speaking quietly from within “Yes I’ll get the Miraculous, I know we have a deal, but I need to do this first; I’ll get them afterwards, don’t worry.”

More loudly; “I want people to pay attention to me. They never paid attention to Juleka. Just because she shrunk back and mumbled didn’t mean she wanted to be ignored. She just wanted people to recognize she was there! She existed! But her ‘friends’ threw her away the moment things got hard and just… let her stew. She obviously WASN’T okay!”

Marybug’s stomach curdled. “You’re right. They should’ve tried harder, checked in on her more. Checked in on YOU more. I promise, once you’re deakumatized, I’ll talk to your friends, try to help fix this.”

“I don’t want to be deakum- AH!”

The robot lurched around, no longer being controlled. A moment later it evaporated, leaving a feather behind. Juleka, newly freed from Hawkmoth, was caught by Panther a moment later.

“Wait- what- who’re you? What happened?” she asked, confused.

Marybug smiled. “He’s Panther and I’m Marybug – we’re filling in for Chat Noir and Ladybug temporarily – and you were akumatized.”

Juleka buried her face in her hands.

Crap. What did Ladybug and Chat Noir usually do with akuma victims? She didn’t just want to leave Juleka, not again, but-

Aaaaand her earrings were beeping.

She gave a strained smile. “It can happen to anyone. It’s Hawkmoth’s fault, NOT yours. I’m sure your friends will tell you the same thing. But for now, Bug Out!”

Throwing her yo-yo, she swung away just as Rose made her way to Juleka.

Ok, good. Hopefully Rose could help comfort her until she herself could get back. She still needed to apologize.

Panther pole-vaulted over with her, both of them eventually landing in an abandoned alley.

“Not bad, kitty cat,” she smirked.

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Thanks. Reflekta was so distracted, she didn’t notice I’d entered the robot until I’d already hit her hand.”

She laughed. “I think you might have our own resident Black Cat beat in the stealth department. Unless he can figure out how to pull off that ‘materializing behind locker doors’ trick as Chat Noir. I swear I STILL want to know how he does that.”

“Don’t we all?”

They both chuckled and detransformed. With a small pang of regret, she handed the earrings over to Tikki, Nino handing the ring over to Plagg. “I liked being Marybug, but… well, I’m really glad Marinette kept the earrings. How she does that on a daily basis, I don’t know.”

“She’s one of the best Ladybugs I’ve ever had!”

Alya smiled. “Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me.”

As Tikki and Plagg flew away to find their holders, she turned to Nino. “Come on, let’s go! We have a photoshoot to complete – IF our model still wants to do it anyway.”

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Marinette, Adrien, and the rest of the crew were all circled around Juleka by the time the two of them arrived. With a jolt, Alya noticed that while Marinette had her earrings back, Adrien’s ring was still missing.

She shook her head. Worry about that later. Plagg could take care of himself… probably. Maybe. She hoped.

Nothing she could do about it right now anyway. And Adrien didn’t appear too worried, and she KNEW how much he cared about Plagg, so it was probably fine.

“Juleka, I’m so, SO sorry, I should’ve listened to you more closely. You’re my friend too, and I just brushed you off when you were obviously not okay. That wasn’t cool of me. Do you still want to do the photoshoot?”

She smiled, perking up a little. “Yeah, that’d be awesome.”

Alya snapped several photos, some of Juleka and Adrien together as planned, but then their friends kept on getting in the frame and – well, most of the photos may not be suitable for Marinette’s website, but they suited her digital photo album perfectly. Adrien and Juleka both seemed especially thrilled with how things turned out. Neither of them had a ton of photos of themselves having fun with their friends.

As she looked over the photos, her eyes wandered downwards.

A very familiar red and black box sat in front of her.

Heart pounding, she opened it.

And smiled at the sight of the familiar orange fox-tail necklace.

#divergent points #ml fanfic #ml fic #miraculous ladybug #alya cesaire #reflekdoll #Kwami Swap #Ladybug!Alya #Black Cat!Nino #fix-it fic #djwifi

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skamamoroma · 5 years

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Episode 4: Wtfock S3

Thank you so much for all of the lovely messages about these posts. Who knew people would want to ready my rambly thoughts. I wrote these kind of overly long in-depth emotional spiral posts about Skam It s2 and enjoyed it so much so it’s good to know wtfock inspires similar spiralling!

I’ve tagged these posts specifically so if you want to read the others, then follow the tag below :)

Anyway, I love that the episode opens with someone interested in Robbe’s life. We’re reminded that Milan cares even if he does want a bit of gossip, he’s sitting there looking at the videos and taking an interest. I love that he and Robbe had that ‘little club of two’ moment about Zoe being jealous… it makes you remember Robbe’s not alone and he has the beginnings of a home.

Seeing Robbe just chilling on his sofa, headphones on and scrolling through photographs is so similar to Isak and every other remake where they search and end up finding something to stare at and obsess a little over. It kills me that all Robbe has are photos of Sander with Britt. Sander is in the background and Robbe still smiles to himself. This isn’t a video like Marti, Lucas and Isak had… he has less but he’s had more of Sander in real life and it just reminds you of that DISTANCE. I love how in other remakes, you still felt that longing but it was more exciting whereas here I feel a little bit heartbroken for Robbe as he’s had to spent days and days keeping himself away from Sander and nearly gave in. He came so very close to letting himself lean into his feelings and it was abruptly ended… he wasn’t thinking when he nearly kissed Sander, he was clearly acting on impulse but now he has this distance, he’s thinking and it’s easy and harmless and means nothing in his head. I think he’s fully aware of how he feels but Sander is so far away in every sense of the word that the reality isn’t as overwhelming. That’s really kinda sad to me.

Then there’s Milan again with his casual sexuality chat. It’s so important in every remake to have this moment because it’s the Isak of it all being faced with an open homosexual man who is talking about relationships and sex and guys and they use that to ask questions they wouldn’t ordinarily ask… and the answers always kill me because Eskild said the whole “if he talks about blow jobs” thing which made Isak remember Even did EXACTLY that… but here, Milan says that sometimes you can tell is someone else is gay from subtle signals, a look in their eye “something trapped inside that desperately wants to come out”. That look at Robbe is VERY telling. I’m not sure if Milan knew 100% but he certainly had the whole shady history of the girls telling him Robbe might be but the fact that Milan tells him that being gay can be SENSED… yeah it’s kinda true but also kinda wildly untrue in many many many cases but Robbe believes it in that moment. He’s left wondering whether that part of him can simply be SENSED by looking at him, by assessing him and that clearly freaked him out. We don’t know the intensity of his internalised homophobia but Milan’s words here were so different from the original that it had such an effect for Robbe personally and for his story. His face at the end is A LOT. That moment when he’s about to download Grindr, to actually accept and lean into his feelings, the feelings he KNOWS are there… and he doesn’t. It’s hugely important to understand Robbe because he’s fighting it massively. BUT THE SONG. Oh the song. Hahaha. Todrick Hall and ‘I Like Boys’ could not have been more perfect for this moment. It’s kind of tongue in cheek, it’s a little like we’re seeing the reality of the part of Robbe’s mind he’s denying and it’s a little nod to Milan too… so so so good and I think when I realised that this season’s music was going to be killer!

But aside from an adorable moment with Yasmina, we’re straight into THE DANCERS SCENE. Ah the classic. This episode mirrors the original so closely but they’re made subtle changes that are really telling and specific for Robbe. He isn’t sitting there looking bored and check out like Isak, he’s UNCOMFORTABLE. He looks like he wants to be anywhere else. It’s all kind of oversexualised and he looks a little like he’s sorry for witnessing it and isn’t that something he does a lot - he always feels BAD for objectifying women or seeing the stuff his friends talk about play out in real life. He clearly looked almost sorry for touching Noor in his bedroom, he had to check nobody was watching when he was sweet to her in the sand dunes and now he looks embarrassed to be watching what he’s watching. Poor kid. He can’t accept it’s a piece of art because all he’s doing is connecting it to how he feels WRONG in himself, how he’s not experiencing what his friends are, how he didn’t want to come along in the first place, how ALL OF IT ties into Noor, a girl he’s dating but doesn’t feel attracted to… it’s so overwhelming and poor love looks like he wants to crawl out of his own skin.

And just like he did with Milan, he sees a chance to distance himself from being gay by using the dance teacher. His internalised oppression rears it’s ugly head but what I LOVE about this moment and god KUDOS to Willem H is when Jens kicks back and Robbe immediately questions if Jens has a problem with it….. Robbe’s FACE. It’s a 360 turn around and instead of wanting that distance between GAY and himself, he’s now terrified that actually Jens might have an issue with it. Talk about being crippled by fear and insecurity surrounding something true about yourself. How terribly sad and Willem H sells that little moment because his eyes are full of fear.

I kind of understand Jens in this moment. At the time it was difficult to because of how the whole group had been framed. Jens has consistently checked in with Robbe and given him those moments of friendship and support and yes, the group has failed to notice Robbe’s obvious discomfort and unhappiness and they wound him up over the vlogs and the pranks but here, Jens has no real reason to understand why Robbe would flip. It IS out of nowhere but it’s another moment of Robbe just being so overwhelmed and hating himself and the situation he’s in that he snaps and retreats. I find it so tough watching Robbe do this knowing how much he changes and how much more comfortable he becomes with who he is and the world around him… this all feels like he’s constantly feeling suffocated and fights to get out of any situation so he can breathe.

Oh isn’t this the episode of being bombarded by ideas of sexuality. I LOVE watching it in this way as episodes because every single clip is another prod at Robbe, another way for him to realise he’s DIFFERENT and to feel like he doesn’t fit, not with his friends, not with Milan and his life, not as someone who appreciates the attractiveness of women, not with religious folks… he feels set aside from all of that, confused, alone and every part of him is saying that the fact he feels uncomfortable is because it’s wrong and then you have Yasmina saying that homosexuality is perhaps a ‘disorder’ or a ‘choice’... and isn’t that the nail in the coffin of misery. It’s that confirmation the dark part of his brain has been looking for.

ENTER SANDER. The one person who makes something in him feel nice. Sander reminds him of when he was in his little bubble dream world of the seaside, when he was able to pretend his life was different. Sander’s mentioning Bowie again and being interested and friendly and making Robbe special by including him in his interests. It’s incredibly sweet and the moment Robbe lies down and listens to Space Oddity, I remember feeling like this season could be something really impactful. That spinning camera, the stillness, the close up of his eyes makes you feel like Robbe is kind of day dreaming he’s back there… and the fact that day dream is interrupted by Sander’s call is just PERFECT. Sander, ever the whirlwind, doesn’t just message, he calls to chase up! And the whole moment of Robbe preening himself is so youthful and cute, I can’t handle it. God, he KNOWS he likes Sander. He goes in and out of allowing himself to act on that feeling that he gives himself whiplash.

I think I genuinely feel, way more than any other remake, that Sander feels like a dream. EVERY SINGLE TIME Sander appears (and it’s true of the end of this episode too), he takes Robbe out of himself, transports him and it’s like Robbe is dreaming, existing in some other place because Sander shakes everything up and he’s this platinum haired dreamboat figure… it’s almost like he’s unreal and he feels that way on a proper rewatch like this. He feels otherworldly and isn’t that kina cool given how much he loves Bowie.

Maybe Sander is like the Ziggy Stardust working his way through this alien planet?! To Robbe, he’s a walking dream and Robbe gets mesmerised and forgets himself… and it isn’t until that distance kicks in that Robbe returns to reality with serious force.

Their telephone call is so CUTE. Sander is a little flirty and you can see how endeared Robbe is. Willem H’s FACE when Sander suggests Robbe bribe him… that moment of shock and awe. PERFECT, my god. But the moment that kills me is just how utterly devastated Robbe looks when Britt appears. His whole face falls and you can see he’s so instantly saddened at the realisation that he’s not ‘special’, that Sander isn’t ‘his’. We, with the benefit of knowing the future, know that that’s nonsense and Sander is clearly doing all of this because he’s 100% smitten and wants Robbe in every conceivable way… but Robbe’s little forlorn look makes me want to crawl into the screen and squish him.

Robbe collapsing onto his face, that tortured youthful angst is PERFECT and Sander yet again makes him believe he can do thing. Sander’s presence moves Robbe’s progress on even a fraction… and Robbe can’t ignore these feelings so he tries Grindr again and that moment of “but this isn’t me” that crosses Robbe’s face is gut wrenching. He’s looking at the comments not recognising himself in that behaviour and it’s not wrong, it’s just not him…. Although he’s not able to make that distinction yet. He sees “not him” and meaning he can’t be gay rather than he’s just a different type of person. What a horribly relatable moment. And then the music dictates the entire mood yet again - “shout shout let it all out” because he needs to and things are so tangled and confusing and upsetting and there’s Noor reminding him he has a girlfriend.

And now we have Noor. Overreacting. I still laugh. He was like half an hour late and she absolutely loses her shit. I can’t take her seriously. I get that she later explains that she feels like he’s not fully into their ‘thing’ but she’s talking about love and it’s WAY TOO MUCH… and hahahaha the fact that this segues into the shot between Britt and Sander while Sander pretends he’s going to feed Britt and actually feeds himself is… i mean it’s genius. ABSOLUTELY brilliant… Sander is everything Robbe wants and kinda needs in this moment and he looms large as Noor and Robbe appear in the background, all the while we’re reminded of Britt also looming large but that Sander has fed Robbe before, enjoyed it and found it incredibly cute and he chooses not to do that with Britt, chooses to be a little selfish and cheeky and think of himself…. Kinda, maybe how he was when he chose to openly flirt with a boy at the seaside while Britt was elsewhere. The four of them in the shot in this way is just AMAZING.

Robbe, YET AGAIN, doesn’t like to hurt people. He doesn’t like to cause pain but Noor is talking about LOVE and they’re known each other a few weeks. It’s almost laughable if it weren’t for the fact that they’re young and also we know Robbe feels this way about Sander pretty quickly too. Poor Noor really thought they were something. I think Robbe finally shouting that he feels suffocated is so important because we’ve seen it, we’ve seen him explode and then run but he’s always alone. He retreats and we never follow him and he’s rarely honest with his shouting… here he is honest and he retreats but Sander is waiting right there when he does.

I love love love that! This time, Robbe doesn’t end up alone.

The fact that Sander, currently Mr Walking Day Dream or the whirlwind personified, makes a bit of a joke of it all and sings Bowie is endlessly funny and sums Sander up in a second but it’s this flippancy again. He doesn’t really care if Britt hates him or finds him weird or if he doesn’t feed her and certainly doesn’t care about Noor and Britt following her. All he cares about is Robbe and I said this so much at the time but Sander reminds me so much of Eliott in that respect. That “nothing else matters” idea, that all of the MESS around them and the mistakes and confusion means nothing because there’s this strength to the feelings there and there’s an inevitability to them. I think Sander feels that and believes it aka “I saw you in the moonlight and thought he is the one”.

Sander is just SUCH a bitch in this moment and it’s hilarious. Bleach blonde bitch or what.

The fact we get an extended shot watching Sander’s response to Robbe’s misery is perfect. He’s not bothered in the slightest about Britt and Noor. He doesn’t know why Robbe wants to message them, he’s waiting for Robbe to engage with him and then that downing the drink…. BALLSY AS HECK. He’s like “ok dude, I’ll do this for us” - he knows what he wants. He wants Robbe to himself and that smug little moment when Britt confirms that they don’t want to be bothered is perfect because Sander gets his wish.

I love that we segue into 21:21 and another Sander dream sequence. These moments with Sander are just overwhelming and almost TOO MUCH. They’re cinematic and they’re bold and send Robbe spiralling… and he gets to rest into the moment, to be present and Sander’s presence makes him forget everything which is why I think he’s able to be so balshy! He’s able to be himself. Nobody else is around, nobody is there but Sander and Robbe knows he’s safe there.

Not to jump the gun but I think this is what makes 22:53 aka the attack feel all the more devastating because Robbe’s dreamlike existence when Sander is around is so brutally ripped from him and torn to shreds. It’s metaphorical but it makes me wish they’d included a moment post attack with Robbe feeling a little more uncomfortable being open with Sander in public. We kind of had a moment of it but not enough, personally, and I feel like it would have served the story well. That said, they brought the comfort with Sander and the defiance hard after the attack that it worked in its own way, I just feel, by way of constructive criticism, that they could have shown the impact that the brutality of beating attacked for being open and comfortable could have on someone like Robbe in a more obvious way to then show how you can overcome that. Anyway…. MUCH lovelier things to talk about!

Sander coming out of that shop and Robbe grinning to himself just reminds me of the words “it’s just you and me”. That club of two thing feels so strong with these two. I felt it with the original and the remakes in very subtly different ways but with these two, I have this real sense of breathing out in comfort when they’re together and it makes you want it for them all the time. Robbe is so relaxed and again, it’s that jarring change. Sander is just smitten and so giddy he gets to have Robbe to himself and Robbe’s making Booking.com jokes and being all cute… how Sander didn’t melt on the floor at all of this knowing what we know about how he felt about Robbe. Bless him! I love that Robbe winked. He’s in his comfortable dream state… he can do that and it’s all fine and lovely and wonderful and Sander’s there looking like a dream and buying him sugary drinks and has a head full of adventure that Robbe just can’t help but smile, swoon and FOLLOW. Because when Sander says “come”, Robbe follows. Every time. Ah Sander, such an Even.

This entire montage is so beautiful. Wildfire is THEIR song. I kind of feel like the words are for Robbe this time. He’s so free. YET AGAIN, he’s with Sander and everything is fun and free and he doesn’t need to worry.

“When you release, when you let go, you can find yourself where you belong” - those words and for Robbe. The song is for both of them… different verses for different parts of them that represent their struggles. IT STUNS ME. This song could not have been better chosen or used… and thank GOD we got it back when Sander needed saving. This moment, the endless tunnels to bike through and the city at night to sing in… all of it is Robbe’s journey to comfort and knowing what it’s like to let go and feel and experience.

I like that Sander retained the Even rebelliousness, the smugness, the slight pretentiousness… it fits him perfectly and the getting naked does not AT ALL seem weird. He’s extra as all hell and he doesn’t seem out of character… if anything, if they’d have done the same as the original then it would have perhaps felt out of character !!!!!

Then we have Sander’s “all the way or no way”. His motto in life. His character summed up in a few words. He’s perfectly WONDERFUL. You can see why Robbe is so enamoured and in awe. Sander is just the type to turn someone’s world upside down.

The fact that Robbe is free and at the whim of someone SO freewheeling as Sander is overwhelming.

THE LYRICS. Wildfire breaking me again and again.

“Darling, please. Don’t give up. Trap your hate and sing for love, let me be the one who sings along”. MY GOD.

Those lyrics just before Robbe kisses him is so beautifully done. They’re like Sander’s words to Robbe although unspoken. That idea of - just let go, give in, be free, do what feels right and what your heart is telling you to… because I’ll be right here with you”. GOOD GOD, the music is so perfectly chosen, the moments it fades in to spell out what’s happening in the clip is just so well done.

I love their first kiss. It’s kind of messy but entirely desperate. It is shot like a dream sequence with that blurry underwater moment, the whole thing sparkly and bathed in shimmery blue light… and Robbe looks dazed and lost to the moment. It’s exactly the effect Sander has on him and what life and the world feels like when Sander’s around.

Then Sander is gone.

And we know what happens when Sander goes and Robbe is left to his own mind and the influence of others. Robbe looks exhausted and Zoe’s words slap him round the face. He’s reminded that he’s hurting people, that he has betrayed someone. He looks like he’s going to cry. He doesn’t like to hurt people and once again, he’s WRONG, what he’s doing is BAD.

Space Oddity playing again to remind him of that spiralling and Sander… it’s all acoustic and sweet but Robbe’s alone and Sander isn’t there to help him believe. The way Robbe strokes the screen over Sander’s face and blocks him… the dream’s over and he’s back in his brain and in the real world where he has been told he is wrong.

And the scene that I can barely watch. Sander is so sweet and optimistic and beautiful. We know he’s so utterly smitten with Robbe and how MUCH this must have hurt. Robbe’s choice of words is stark and worrying and just so totally WRONG. He was cruel and calculated and everything he isn’t and you can see the way he shakes when he’s on the other side of the door. Sander’s beauty and promise and that glittery dream world aren’t real and Robbe’s so firmly in reality now, is rejecting that lovely freedom and he actively broke his own heart.

It hurts. It’s not ok that he said what he said and in the way he said it but I understand, in the context of his story, why at the end of THIS episode where is feels WRONG and he believes who he is hurts people… that he chose the WORST but most effective way of putting that distance back where it was.

Poor poor Sander. Poor sweet boy feeling like he has done something wrong and hurt the person he adores… but part of me knows Sander understands behaving in ways that might hurt people, knows the damage your brain can do when it tells you that you aren’t allowed happiness and loveliness. I think thats why Chernobyl and the concept of exploding brains and fucking up because you felt terrified… well, he get it, doesn’t he? And I think he saw Robbe’s truth when he met him. He saw his sweetness and I think Sander always understood Robbe’s heart…

That “i save you, you save me back” concept had to be strong here and thank god it was!!!

So yeah, this was LONG but this episode is an important and beautiful if brutal one! If you’re still awake, you deserve a bloody huge medal. Thanks so much for reading all my nonsense. These are just my own ideas and interpretations and it’s so interesting to read what others think too! The show lends itself to that so perfectly.

#wtfock #hopefully the read more works this time!#thoughts etc #wtfock episode thoughts #rosander #robbe ijzermans #sander driesen

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