#Eight Days 2020

[blackdiamondwrites127]

Why is it that having a professional, white collar career is pushed down my throat constantly? Can't I just have a simple job that I don't have take home and keeps me fianncially stable?

[ms-demeanor]

I've seen you say a few times that it's a good idea to have a password manager; could you explain why? I always feel like I'm missing something when it's mentioned because it's phrased as if there's an obvious danger that password managers protect you from, but I'm honestly not sure how they help keep passwords secure.

The obvious danger is human nature. Humans are bad at creating passwords; your passwords are almost certainly easy to guess, repeated across different accounts, or both, because that is just how the vast VAST majority of people create passwords, because humans are bad at creating passwords. Everybody knows "the rules" for creating passwords (don't use the same password on multiple websites, don't include personal details in your passwords, don't use very common words or letter or number sequences in your passwords, don't tell other people your password) and people break all of those rules anyway.

A standalone (not in-browser like firefox or chrome password manager, though those are better than nothing) password manager stores your passwords, generates complex passwords for you, and can also be used for things like storing notes on passwords (like "did I put my MFA on my email or my cellphone or an app for this password?" or "here are the made-up answers to the security questions I used for this website because I definitely didn't use real answers or answers I'd used on previous websites" or "these are the bills associated with this credit card").

With the way the current security landscape works, there are two things that are extremely important when you are creating a password:

Uniqueness

Complexity

The overwhelmingly prevalent way that people get "hacked" these days is through credential stuffing.

Let's say that your private data was revealed in the Experian breach a decade ago. It revealed your name, email address, and phone number. Now let's also say that your private data was revealed in one of the many breaches from social media sites; that one revealed your name, email address, phone number, password, and security questions.

If someone wants to try to gain access to one of your accounts - let's say your bank account - if they have your name and phone number (usually extremely easy to find online), they can cross-reference that information with data that has been revealed in previous breaches - now they've got your name and your email address (which you probably used to sign up for your online banking and have ABSOLUTELY used as your login for accounts all over the place) and at least one password that you've used somewhere.

But the thing is, they don't have one password. They have every password associated with that email address that has ever been revealed in a breach. If you go to the site haveibeenpwned.com you can enter your email and see how many times your email address has appeared in a breach. You can compare that with the number of passwords that were revealed in those breaches and you can ask yourself "what did those passwords have in common?"

Because I can tell you, my Tumblr password from 2013, my Kickstarter password from 2014, and my Disqus password from 2017 (all revealed in various breaches) probably had a lot in common.

So, now the hacker has: your name, your email (which is probably your username), and various passwords they can try to use to log in. Did you use the same password for Facebook and Twitter eight years ago? Did you use parts of that password for creating your bank password? If you heard that twitter passwords were exposed in a breach you probably changed that password, but did you change the bank password that you built on the same structure? Probably not.

So what people will do is gather up all of this information and guess. They'll try your 2017 Disqus password to see if it will get access to your bank account. They'll try your 2020 Gravatar password. They'll try your 2024 Internet Archive Password.

And the reason they do this is because it works.

And the reason that it works is because we are all fucking garbage at remembering unique, complex passwords so instead of creating actually unique, complex passwords most people pick one memorable word or phrase, one memorable number, one unusual character, and *MAYBE* one feature of the site they're creating the login for and they use that template forever (1988Tumblrmacabre!, 1988Facebookmacabre!, 1988Ticketmastermacabre!) OR they create one password that they think is complex enough and use it across multiple sites with minor tweaks ($n0h0mi$hRu13z, sn0h0mishRul13z!, $n0h0mi$hWA) as needed for the sites' password requirements.

So most of what password managers do that is a drastic security improvement over people creating and memorizing passwords is that they create passwords that are functionally impossible to guess and functionally impossible to memorize. The problem with memorizing passwords (which is what you're doing if you're creating a bunch of passwords that you type in all the time) is that you can't actually remember all that many passwords so you'll repeat those passwords. The problem with creating passwords on your own is that passwords that humans create are pretty guessable. Even if you're doing a passphrase that's a long string of words you're probably working with common words ("correct horse battery staple" as opposed to "truculent zygote onomatopoeia frangible") and your password is more guessable than you'd really want it to be. Password managers don't do that, they generate gibberish.

Perhaps you are that rare person who gets out a set of dice and a notepad and rolls up every character for your password and memorizes it and never repeats, and if that's you, you could still benefit from a password manager because a password manager makes it easier to change that unique complex password when it is inevitably revealed in a breach.

So, okay, let's check in with where we're at:

Password managers mean that you don't have to memorize your password, which means that you don't need a password that is easy to memorize, which means that they can create passwords that are extremely complex and are therefore very difficult to guess. This protects you from crackers who will try to brute force your password.

Password managers mean that you don't have to remember extremely complex passwords for every account, which means that you are less likely to repeat your password in whole or in part across multiple accounts. This protects you from credential stuffers, who will try to use your password from one account that was revealed in a breach to open other accounts that were not.

Because password managers can generate and store complex passwords essentially instantly, you can replace passwords nearly effortlessly when there is a breach (no need to 'come up with' a new password, no issues with learning or memorizing it).

There are, however, advantages beyond that.

One major, MAJOR advantage of a properly-used standalone password manager is that it makes you safer from various kinds of phishing attempts and link hijacking. When you are setting up a password in your password manager (PWM from here on), you should be on the website that you want to log in to. The PWM will give you the option to save the domain that you're logging in to. That means the PWM will remember the correct URL for your Tumblr login so when you go to the tumblr login screen in the future, it will offer to fill those fields. What it will NOT do is offer to fill those fields if someone sends you an email that spoofs tumblr support and wants you to log in at "tumblr.co" or "tumblr-support.com." Knowing this, and knowing that you should be putting your credentials in through the PWM fill option rather than copy/paste, is a GREAT way to protect against phishing that is often overlooked and definitely under-discussed.

Another advantage is that a standalone PWM will let you store secure notes with your passwords so that you can do things like keep track of recovery codes for the website, or generate gibberish answers to security questions. Security questions and answers are often revealed in breaches, can't be reset by the user as easily as a password, are repeated across websites MUCH more than passwords, and can be used to take over an account and reset the password. You shouldn't be giving real security answers, or even fake-but-repeated security answers; you should treat each of those like a password that needs to be complex and unique, which means that they need to be stored someplace (like a password manager).

I also personally use my password manager to store my car insurance information, my driver's license info, and payment details for easy entry, making it convenient for a lot of thing beyond password storage. (Bitwarden. My password manager is bitwarden. I recommend Bitwarden. go to ms-demeanor.com and search "bitwarden" to learn more.)

As to how they keep your passwords safe, aside from ensuring that you don't enter your credentials into a skimming site, a good password manager is well encrypted. Your password safe should be functionally impossible to crack and what people tend to not realize is that a proper password manager (like bitwarden) doesn't keep all your passwords in one encrypted safe, each one of your passwords is in its own encrypted safe. If someone hacks Bitwarden it's not like using a huge amount of effort breaking into a bank vault and finding a big pile of money, it's like using a huge amount of effort breaking into a bank vault and finding a big pile of bank vaults. Each password within your vault requires decryption that is functionally impossible to crack (at least with a good password manager, like bitwarden, the password manager I recommend and think that people should use).

Additionally, just as, like, a side note: password managers never accidentally leave caps lock on or forget which characters are capital or lower case and don't require the use of two hands and focused attention on the keyboard. You're never going to mistype your password if the password manager is filling it, and you would not believe the number of people we support at work who require password resets because they are typing their password wrong and don't realize it.

TL;DR:

Password managers make better passwords than you can and they make it possible to instantly create, store, and enter complex passwords, which prevents password cracking and makes people less likely to reuse passwords. They are heavily encrypted and should be functionally impossible to access, and each individual password within the manager should also be encrypted if you use a good password manager. Password managers also prevent people from entering their credentials on scam sites by only filling on matched domains. Standalone password managers (not browser password managers) also allow users to create and store unique security questions and account details to prevent bad actors from gaining access with stolen security answers. The password manager I recommend is Bitwarden.

If people used password managers to create, store, and use unique and complex passwords, and if they did regular backups of their system I think that probably about half of the InfoSec field would be out of a job.

Please use a password manager!

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

How am I supposed to think it is winter when it looks like early spring outside?! Or late fall. Probably late fall since less stuff is flooded. I’m pretty sure El Niños aren’t supposed to go this hard. “Global warming isn’t real” I’m going to smash your face into the mud that is SUPPOSED to be covered in a foot of snow by now. I WANTED to go tubing this year but the slope is fucking dry and also my plants have no insulation from the elements. They fields have nothing keeping the dirt down! The birds flew all that way south for nothing! Although the ones that fly here from the arctic are probably having a field day. Maybe not though, they do fluff up more in winter. I should probably be enjoying the fact that I can still use the sidewalks but I can’t! Because this is fucking WEIRD!

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

i know that when people say "hey we made it through the last four years! we can do it again!" it's usually because they're just trying to tell themselves it'll be fine because they're scared too so I don't want to be a dick about it but like. they didn't have a guy make a fucking nazi salute to a fucking cheering crowd in his inauguration on day fucking one eight fucking years ago. i mean not to damper down the optimism or nothing but. i feel like it's important to point out that it's not just going to be a Repeat of 2016-2020 All Over Again. it's probably going to be more like the Fucking Worst of it that we got in 2020 (or the 2021 Fucking Insurrection) will be the Starting Point for whatever the fuck happens next and we should. idk. plan for that

[batsplat]

okay in an act of gross journalistic malpractice, I realise I'd completely forgotten this controversy coming back in 2020. here's what casey said (x):

At the end of 2015, Casey Stoner said goodbye to Honda and worked as a test rider for Ducati from 2016. Almost five years after returning to Ducati, Stoner reveals why he left Honda. In a YouTube video with fellow countryman Chris Vermeulen, Stoner blames Marc Marquez. "I tried it at Honda at the beginning, but was pushed out by the young gun. He didn't want me there," says Stoner, who worked as a top tester for HRC after his active career. He later helped Ducati develop the Desmosedici. However, Stoner has never taken part in a race since his retirement at the end of 2012.

which livio suppo... uh, quite strongly denied (x):

"If you know Casey and talk to him, he'll say 'believe me' at least twice in ten minutes. He always knows everything. In reality, Marquez wasn't involved in this decision. I can say that," Suppo said at the 'MotoGP RoundTable' . "We informed him, but he did not comment on the matter. I know Marc and I don't think he would have minded racing against Casey. In fact, he probably would have loved it," commented Suppo, who ended his collaboration with Honda at the end of the 2017 MotoGP season and later switched to electric bike manufacturer Thok. According to Suppo, Stoner's comments should not be taken too seriously. The Italian himself had a lasting experience when he and the HRC officials decided not to allow Stoner to race. When Honda's regular rider Dani Pedrosa was unable to take part in a few races at the start of the 2015 season, Stoner offered to take part in the race in Austin. "We were seriously considering it at the time," Suppo says looking back. "In the end, we felt it was better not to do it. There were several reasons for that," the former HRC team manager recalls, explaining: "First of all, (Shuhei) Nakamoto (former HRC vice president; editor's note) had a huge amount of respect for Casey. You must not forget that Casey was the rider who brought HRC a title again after a few years." "Nakamoto didn't want Casey to do anything that would put his reputation in a bad light. It was also a difficult phase of the season for Marc. He had won two titles in a row back then, but in 2015 he struggled with the bike until Barcelona. The start of the season was not easy for him," said Suppo, citing another reason that spoke against Stoner racing. "All in all, we felt it was better not to do it. Casey still thinks I was the one who was against it. That's why he doesn't talk to me anymore. But that's Casey," Suppo notes.

now, look. take that as you will. I'm the last person to deny casey his paranoia, but I also think.......... these guys do have a bit of a habit of gassing up whoever they've worked with last at the expense of everyone else. idk! you can draw your own conclusions about honda's supposed great respect for casey's reputation while simultaneously quietly spreading (dubious) rumours about his supposedly poor testing lap times to the press. casey is paranoid but marc probably did at the very least badmouth casey's performances as a test rider, so. who can say!!

but yeah, given how influential suppo was in both the ducati and the honda stages of casey's career, how casey considered him one of his few allies at ducati and how warmly casey spoke of suppo in his autobiography, it is pretty noteworthy that suppo apparently believes they don't have a relationship anymore because of this controversy. here's another quote from 2020 from an interview suppo gave (x):

"He called us on Sunday evening, already after the Qatar race, taking us by surprise. Nakamoto has always had a special affection for Casey, but he absolutely did not want him to come back and risk making a bad impression. And he said no. Stoner did not take it well, he got very angry with me, convinced that I had made the decision. Our relationship ended, and since then he has never spoken to me again. With Casey everything changes radically, sometimes without even understanding why. It would have been nice to see him come back, but if it had not gone well, criticism and tension would have exploded, distracting Márquez who was fighting to win his third consecutive World Championship. I continue to think that ours was the right decision..."

like it's fascinating it's something casey felt that strongly about. the controversy is one thing but the reasons behind it remain kinda mysterious and something I'm still curious about. why did casey have his one major wobble about his retirement in early 2015, at least to the extent that it's the one time he really did seem to miss racing? was that whole episode a bitter reminder of why he left in the first place? I think part of it is.... the sport spent two years talking plenty about how much casey was missed, whether casey would stay retired, whether casey would race again, about how much honda loved casey and were sad to see him retire, etc etc... and then your test rider and former full time rider who won you your first title in half a decade asks if he can act as a stand-in, and you can't bring yourself to throw him a bone? it's such an odd decision!! and the justification is so weak, like what kind of criticism and tension would have 'exploded' if casey had been a bit mid at cota. casey doesn't even have shooters like that, certainly not back then. do you really think a p12 at cota would have permanently damaged casey's reputation... (which, look, what do I know,, but given track characteristics suiting honda + larger field spread back in those days + casey factor I think would've been Unlikely.) let us all be serious here

that being said. as much as you can probably tell I'm not a massive fan of how honda handled that whole situation, of course there is some truth to the "with casey everything changes radically, sometimes without even understanding why" assertion. he's pretty easy to make an enemy of. in a similar vein: "if you know casey and talk to him, he'll say 'believe me' at least twice in ten minutes. he always knows everything" which is also kinda... a lot. again, it's not necessary [ed. pretend I can type]

I’m not sure if you’ve answered this before but if not could you explain the Casey / Marc Honda beef 😭 I didn’t even know that existed & then I was listening to a podcast the other day that said in 2015 Marc blocked Casey from a wildcard ride to replace Dani for one race when he was out injured??? Like omg!!! And they said Casey even tweeted confirming it (lmao ofc he did) like damn!! Marc comments on his instas sometimes so I thought they were always buds, this surprised me!

well, 'buds' I think would be pushing it. but yeah, not only is this something I've answered before, it's actually the 2nd/3rd asks I got about motogp on here! see here for the 2015 beef and a follow up to that post. I only recently remembered the tweet myself lol... he really was Not happy

this is so passive aggressive I'm crying. really mastered the art of using the :)

to be clear, we don't actually KNOW marc blocked casey. we know that casey BELIEVES marc blocked him, but that is not the same as confirmation that it happened. for context, here is what suppo said at the time:

after 2015, casey left honda - and claimed both that Someone hadn't wanted him to race AND ALSO that marc's camp had pushed him out as a test rider because they'd felt threatened by him. casey has form in accusing his rivals of wrongdoing by Heavily Implying something rather than outright stating it, cf him in his autobiography suggesting Someone inside yamaha hadn't wanted him there,, who knows who that could have been :) *wink wink nudge nudge*

by that point in time, his rhetoric about marc was... idk, warm-ish? without being particularly glowing either. included in one of the above posts, but see this from 2013:

as the local casey translator: from him that's a pretty weighty accusation and the kind of thing he does not look kindly on At All. also appreciated this little two-in-one from 2015, like sure get both of them from me --

-- but yeah. given that he's Retired, casey isn't actually going to start a war over the honda thing - and in a way it's already remarkable and extremely casey that he went as far as he did. him and marc have a fairly respectful and cordial relationship because they weren't ever rivals. casey has no reason to not be polite about and to marc, even if he has his reservations. and a grudge

and again, fwiw we don't KNOW to what extent marc was involved in chasing casey out, if at all. I mean, maybe? we know from marc's own testimony that he is a nightmare of a teammate, we know he's no stranger to honda internal power struggles... but then again, why bother? at most casey could have mildly embarrassed marc (and given that it was cota, even that is.... unlikely). given that casey was simply never going to return to motogp full time, why would you feel threatened by him? there is a lot of he said she said surrounding this entire situation... again nabbing this from the original post, but this kind of thing --

-- you just have blatantly contradictory information, because CASEY was saying that he was on dani's sepang pace in his early 2015 test. I mean, vibes-wise I suppose I'm not sure I'm convinced that casey was so off the pace in 2015 that he was useless as a test rider and unfeasible as a wild card rider. vibes-wise I also don't think that sounds like the kind of thing casey himself would be completely deluded about? he wouldn't want to compete if he was slow... suppo saying that casey has never raced at cota anymore is?? it's casey, it's not like it really matters that he's unfamiliar with the track - and suppo of all people should surely know as much. as for hrc saying that he was a second off the pace at sepang early in 2015... idk man. if that's true, I just don't quite buy that casey would have wanted to race in the first place

and we do actually have a piece of evidence that at the very least sits uneasily with the assertion of everyone at honda that casey was Simply Too Slow in 2015. upon leaving honda casey became a test rider at ducati - and in his expanded role actually immediately took part in like,, a proper test where he shared the track with other riders in early 2016. and where else could this happy on-track reunion have taken place - other than at sepang

now, look. I don't know either way. I'm just presenting the evidence here and you can make up your own mind. it is possible that casey - the man who was renowned for being fast the second he touches any bike, still only 29-30 years old, not suffering from any acute physical issues at the time - was too slow to be competitive in 2015 on the honda he had helped to develop and had been riding since 2011. (worth pointing out that test riders also do not need to literally be on the pace of the full time riders to be useful in testing.) it is also possible that casey then went to ducati and was immediately quicker than his fellow ducati riders, a well-respected set of riders in their own right, on a bike he had not ridden since 2010... despite having been useless on the honda. it is possible. you can decide for yourself if this is likely. who knows. and if you decide that it isn't likely - regardless of what happened within honda during 2015, it does feel pretty poor form that various honda officials were so keen to whisper to the press about how slow casey was. but hey! who knows!

though for the sake of fairness, obviously there is also a certain amount of opportunistic 'jumping on honda's grave' to casey saying stuff like this in the year of our lord 2024:

very much playing into the narrative that marc led honda down the wrong path, aka that marc is responsible for their current malaise. casey's not QUITE saying that, but it's the obvious implication - and he KNOWS that. he knows what he's doing here!! and it's been like,, eight years, he's clearly not exactly Over It, is he. you cannot convince me that casey has not felt at least a little bit of schadenfreude about honda's current plight. come on

in conclusion. who knows what really happened back in 2015... wish I did. look, casey has a tendency towards paranoia. he's a suspicious bloke, he often sees the worst in others... and he's also extremely petty and slow to forgive. this entire thing manages to play into some of his most persistent neuroses - about not being valued, about others playing politics behind his back, about being excluded from another club through no fault of his own. about not being shown the loyalty he felt he was owed. no wonder he took it poorly, no wonder he's still at least a little sore about it in 2024. it shouldn't escape your notice that he made quite a few of these accusations about marc in early 2016, when marc already had rather a lot on his plate. but casey doesn't care! if anything, he'll have been fully aware that the media at the time would be pretty open to a nice little side swipe at marc marquez - it's a receptive environment to casey's narrative. casey's hardly shy about taking advantage of that kind of thing

then again, while I do believe casey could have just cooked this whole thing up in his head with minimal evidence, I simultaneously buy that marc did actually block casey. marc's camp certainly did do a lot to assert itself within honda during that time (famously power-hungry drama-happy manager in the shape of alzamora, lest we forget). so, y'know. maybe this was another way of asserting internal supremacy - and maybe marc really didn't want casey interfering in developmental work. the boring answer is that the truth might lie somewhere in the middle, that marc's camp did try to make life unpleasant for casey within honda without like,, actively forcing him out or vetoing the wild card. it's certainly a very in-character episode for everyone involved. very much the ships that passed in the night of feuding... of course casey would have despised marc if they'd ever been actual teammates, but they both just about managed to avoid that particular bloodbath

[omgellendean]

So, Sacha Baron Cohen recently endorsed Kamala Harris in a fittingly racist islamophobic manner, by bringing back his character Borat. Yes, it's 2024.

Anyway, here's a 2022 investigation of SBC's vile Zionism and connections to the USA and Israeli intelligence, as well as an insight into the role of the US-American cinema as a propaganda tool.

Article: https://www.mintpressnews.com/closer-scrutiny-reveals-close-state-power-sacha-baron-cohen-really/279355/

Archived link: https://archive.is/7dSTL

Some quotes:

When asked about the national security state’s role in shaping pop culture, the former intelligence officer [John Kiriakou] said that it is “far more cynical” than most people realize, explaining:

” There is a branch inside the CIA’s Office Of Public Affairs whose job is solely to work with Hollywood Studios. This is something that the FBI has been doing since the 1940s. They’ll cooperate and give the red carpet treatment to any Hollywood studio that’s willing to make the CIA look good. “ [...]

In the end, “Brüno’s” production company did interview someone they claimed was a terrorist (in the Letterman interview, Baron Cohen described the man as such eight times in the space of three minutes). However, the person in question – Palestinian grocer and NGO worker Ayman Abu Aita – vigorously denied he was a terrorist at all. He claimed that Baron Cohen had told him the interview would be about his peace activism and that his life and business had been destroyed as a result. Abu Aita sued for nearly $100 million. The case was settled for an undisclosed sum in 2012. [...]

Even from an early age, Sacha was reportedly obsessed with the Jewish state. “He was very Zionist, very involved in Habo,” recalled one friend, referring to Habonim Dror, a left-wing Zionist group of which he was a member. Others remembered him as “a very nerdy, very funny, Israel-oriented guy” who went to live on a kibbutz in his youth. He appears to idolize Shimon Peres, traveling to meet him in 2012 and sharing quotes from the former Israeli president on his social media accounts. Peres, of course, oversaw the genocide of Palestinians in 1948, attempted to sell nuclear weapons to Apartheid South Africa, and carried out the ethnic cleansing of the Galilee region. [...]

Unsurprisingly, Baron Cohen has also campaigned fiercely against the Boycott Divestment and Sanctions (BDS) movement, presenting it as viciously antisemitic. “Boycotting? Yeah, fantastic. As long as they are Jews, it is alright. I’m not a racist, but keep the Jews out,” he said, in an attempt to satirize their position. [...]

Much of the movie is actually spent “on location” in “Kazakhstan,” where Borat takes the viewer around an unimaginably poor-looking village, making fun of how backward “his people” are. There are no Western egos or ignorance being punctured here. In fact, it was shot in a gypsy encampment in Romania, where locals were paid around $3 each to be humiliated by a man who spoke to them in a language they did not understand. The villagers were told they were appearing in a sympathetic documentary highlighting their lives. “Borat” made over $262 million at the box office. [...]

The racism was further amplified with the 2020 release of “Borat Subsequent Moviefilm.” Within the first two minutes of the sequel, Borat informs us that Kazakhstan has canceled their traditional event, “the running of the Jew,” but fortunately his country still has Holocaust Remembrance Day, “when we commemorate our heroic soldiers who ran the camps.” Borat also received an award, which he stated will be “put in our national museum along with other treasure we have confiscated from Jews.” [...]

In actual fact, as many have pointed out, Kazakhstan was a haven for Jewish people during the Holocaust, not a perpetrator of it, saving thousands of Jewish lives by taking in people from Eastern Europe and other states of the U.S.S.R. Today, the country is commended by Jewish groups as a model of tolerance. It is also, notably, not a helplessly sexist nation; Save The Children ranked it higher than the United States in its list of best countries to grow up female.

This is a rather inconvenient truth for the Israeli state-building project Baron Cohen supports. Ironically, perhaps the most shocking and newsworthy case of exposing bigotry Baron Cohen has documented has never been revealed. While in character as Brüno in Jerusalem, Baron Cohen was beaten nearly to death by an enraged crowd of homophobic Israelis, who, angered by his camp and sacrilegious attire, started stoning him, on camera. Baron Cohen was reportedly “nearly killed.” Kiriakou told MintPress that Baron Cohen told him that a rabbi even spat on him. It was the only time in his career that he broke character and desperately yelled that he was an Israeli Jew, not a homosexual foreigner. The comedian fled for his life and found refuge in a nearby store bathroom. This footage has never seen the light of day. Perhaps it sends the “wrong” message.

[mulloey]

pretty pet • nct 127

as the newest and youngest member of 127, it’s perfectly natural for them to want to take care of you. probably not like this, though.

requested by anon

pairing: johnny/jaehyun/mark/haechan/yuta x f!reader

word count: 4k

hate is deleted and blocked

warnings: oh boy um, a little dubcon, definitely questionable behaviour from the neos, dom!127 x sub!reader, corruption kink, virginity loss, unprotected sex, orgy, vaginal/oral sex, a few slaps, praise and degradation, innocence kink, corruption, implied LEGAL age gap (reader is around 20), sort of manipulation, size kink, power imbalance kind of, probably more but those are the big ones

-

you’d been at SM since 2018, and it was starting to feel hopeless. you’d improved quickly, and by 2020 they were telling you you were ready to debut, but it just… didn’t happen. they’d let you get your hopes up that you’d debut with aespa— no dice. then there’d been talk of another girl group, which had quickly proved to be just that: talk. you were beginning to wonder if it was ever going to happen, or if you’d be better off leaving instead of wasting another six years of your life, when you were summoned to the CEO’s office.

you couldn’t believe what you were hearing— they needed a new member for nct. they wanted something different. they wanted you.

you’d sat there with your jaw agape, unsure how to respond. you? in a… boy group? that boy group? you’d never even met the nct members; the closest you’d ever gotten was when mark had accidentally walked into your practice room instead of his— and his exclamation of “oh shit” before quickly shutting the door was the only time you’d heard any of their voices in real life. and now you were supposed to be in a group with them?

everything was arranged within the hour; gathering this was most likely your last chance to debut before they decided you were too old to bother with, you put your inhibitions aside and agreed. you signed the contract, shook their hands and were making to head back to the trainee dormitories when they’d stopped you— “all your things are in the 127 dormitory,” they told you. you almost laughed; you should’ve figured that they weren’t exactly asking.

you were beyond nervous to meet them; they’d been famous and, more importantly, best friends for eight years— how were you supposed to fit in with them? did they even want you there? not to mention how the fans would react— but that was a problem for a different day.

the first problem, though, quickly proved to be a non-issue; they were beyond welcoming, and quickly took you under their wing. it’s only natural, you supposed— the newest member, completely inexperienced and younger even than the dream members, it’s not surprising they took to you so easily, and were so gentle and nurturing while they showed you the ropes. it was only natural.

to a point.

the signs were there, really; the way they’d looked you up and down before looking at your face. the way their hands lingered on your waist just a few seconds too long when they hugged you for the first time. the affection they showed you that they swore was normal between all of them, but seemed to have… a little more intention behind it. and the way they praised you when you did something well— learning a dance move, hitting a note, remembering a line. “good girl,” they’d purr, cupping your face with a smile. “such a good listener.” perhaps somewhere, deep down, something in you told you this was beyond the caring, concerned members of a group welcoming their newest member. but it was far too deep to notice— buried beneath the heaps of praise and attention they showered you with. until it wasn’t. until it became too obvious to ignore.

yuta was the first one you really noticed. looking back, he was never really subtle; you saw the way he looked at you from the start— the intensity of his gaze, the way he’d swallow thickly, jaw tense when you walked through the living room in your thin summer pyjamas. he was friendly, like the others, but the way he’d find every excuse to touch you, to pull you into his arms, to snake his arm around your waist during practice and whisper in your ear about how good you’re being— was just over the line of excusable. yet you excused it.

maybe you were desperate to fit in with the group. maybe you wanted to prove yourself as an open, reliable member. maybe you loved the way their praises sounded; the warmth of their touches on your waist and thighs. whatever the reason, you never once protested— never once questioned it. even as the other members became increasingly obvious in their participation, and increasingly bold in their claim of you.

it was a few weeks in that it happened. mark had brought home a case of beer and a few bottles of soju— “we always do this, babe,” he’d said. “helps us bond when we drink together, you know?” and you’d nodded, of course; the last thing you wanted to do was question or upset the balance and routine of the group. you still felt very much like an outsider, an intruder, and you wanted to prove you could belong here— to yourself, as much as to them. it was just 6 of you tonight— johnny, jaehyun, mark, haechan and yuta, surrounding you like predators as much as protectors.

looking back, you should have realised then. you should have realised when they’d sat down in a circle, johnny shuffling next to you— “to make sure you don’t get too drunk,” he’d said. “oldest looking after the youngest.” you should have realised when he got closer and closer until, just when you were crossing the line between tipsy and drunk, he pulled you into his lap completely. you should have realised when the first game haechan suggested was ‘never have i ever’. and if not then, then you definitely should have realised when the first question they asked was never have i ever had sex.

you watched them all drink, grinning at each other as they downed the liquid. johnny adjusted you in his arms slightly to allow him to pick up his bottle and take a swig. when their expectant gazes turned to you, you could do nothing but blush. “i—”

if you’d been brave enough to look up, or sober enough to see clearly, you’d have seen the looks on their faces that were unlike anything you’d seen before— shocked, affected, protective. feral. they couldn’t believe it. no one had ever touched you. you were as pure and unsullied as you seemed— theirs for the taking.

“you’ve really,” jaehyun started, voice thick and catching in his throat, “never had sex?”

you shrugged, blushing deeper. “i was, like, 14 or 15 when i joined the company,” you mumbled. “they don’t really— i never had that sort of freedom, as a trainee. or the time.” you were beyond embarrassed, your face surely the reddest it’s ever been. you were certain they were judging you right now; laughing silently at you but too polite to show it. a room full of grown men and you, the only girl, the newest, youngest member, had proven yourself to be even less mature than you already knew they thought you were. you waited for someone to break; to laugh at you or mock you or finally admit that you didn’t belong here after all.

but they didn’t. no one said anything. johnny’s grip on your waist tightened.

“wow,” mark finally broke the silence. “that’s— fuck, that’s precious.”

you looked up in time to catch the glare yuta threw at him. “it is?” you asked. “it’s not— it’s not bad?”

“of course it’s not bad,” johnny breathed. his breath was hot on your neck, making you shiver. you felt his smile against your skin as he recognised your sensitivity. “you’re such a good girl, y/n. we always knew it.”

your mouth opened and closed, words lost on you. johnny’s hand found your thigh and gently squeezed the soft flesh. “we’ve been waiting to have someone like you in the group for a long, long time.”

“i—” your voice broke a little, cracking under the weight of their gazes on you. “really?” you squeaked.

a large, warm hand wrapped around your calf. you turned your head, making a noise of surprise, to see jaehyun staring at you with a look in his eyes that you hadn’t seen before. “really,” he said lowly. his gaze shifted, catching johnny’s for a moment, then returning to you. he squeezed your leg gently. “you’re really something,” he smiled. the tension in his neck as he swallowed thickly told you he wanted to say something else.

tentatively, you reached down to place your hand over jaehyun’s, still resting on your leg. for a moment he seemed surprised — you hadn’t yet been the one to initiate physical contact with them, after all — but his expression quickly morphed into something else. johnny’s fingers dug into your thigh. “whatcha doing, hm?” he whispered in your ear. the low hum of his voice lit fire on your skin. “you like it when we touch you?”

“i…”

“she does,” jaehyun purred. “eager little slut.”

you knew you should be offended— he just called you a slut, after all, a terrible thing to say to anyone. but instead you felt your stomach twist, and an intense, pulsing sensation a little lower. without meaning to, you let out a soft, mewling sound that seemed to affect all the men in the room. “fuck,” you heard someone, you thought haechan, groan.

slowly johnny’s hand began to move further and further up your leg, closer and closer, like he was testing the waters— seeing how far he could go before you’d push back against him. but you didn’t— you curled further into his hold, into his touch. his hands were soft and comforting. it felt good. you felt special. that was all it was.

when his fingers grazed over your shorts, a fleeting touch of your pussy, you squeaked, squirming slightly in his hold. jaehyun grinned and you watched as his hand moved from your lower leg to your chest. gently he grabbed one of your boobs and you felt your stomach drop. this was the boldest they’d ever been. he wasn’t even hiding it or disgusting it as an accident— he was owning it. he was touching you, you liked it, and he owned it.

“so tiny,” he muttered. you weren’t sure if he was talking about you or the tight little tank top he was running his hands across— when he curled his finger around one of the straps, pulling it back and letting it snap against your skin, you decided it was probably both.

the room was quiet, everyone’s focus on you and the way you were responding to every move they made. if you’d been a little more aware, you’d have noticed them inching closer and closer to you from the moment johnny took you into his arms; but only when yuta grabbed a fistful of your hair, pulling your head back to meet his gaze by force, did you realise what was happening. they’d surrounded you. you couldn’t escape even if you wanted to.

he released your hair and you looked back to meet johnny’s eyes. he smiled down at you, arms wrapped around your torso, and only then did you realise that his grip was tighter, firmer than before; like he was holding you in place. keeping you still.

testing your theory, you tried to struggle; to squirm. but you couldn’t. johnny wouldn’t let you. his brow furrowed. “keep being good,” he said, tone warning. “or this is gonna go very differently.”

you didn’t want to think about what he was implying; a few times he and doyoung had threatened to punish you or take you over their knee, but you’d assumed they were joking or just trying to scare you into obedience. but maybe they were serious— maybe you really were one wrong move away from finding out just what they were capable of. you shuddered at the thought.

you watched as haechan’s hand reached towards you and finally slipped under your shorts to touch your bare skin. his eyebrows raised. “no panties?” he grinned.

you heard some mumbles of surprise and johnny’s dick twitched against your back. “slut,” he muttered. “you planned this.”

“no,” you protested, shaking your head. “i didn’t.”

“don’t lie.” haechan’s voice was firm, eyes dark. you whined again and he pinched your clit, making you squirm. “stop moving,” he said.

he may be the youngest and one of the smaller members, but haechan always intimidated you. you’d seen him angry on a few occasions; watched the rage simmer beneath the surface. he keeps his cool, but you always wondered what happens on the other side of the line. now, though, as he eased a finger into your tight hole, you’d rather not find out.

“is she tight?” yuta asked and haechan nodded, groaning slightly. “so fucking tight,” he affirmed. “fucking virgin pussy.”

“let me see,” mark said. “take her shorts off.”

“good idea,” jaehyun grinned. haechan moved his hand away for a moment, allowing the elder to slide the shorts down your legs, finally revealing what they’d been waiting so painfully long to see.

“jesus,” mark breathed.

“perfect little pussy.” jaehyun’s eyes never left your tight, dripping hole. he looked ready to devour you. “john,” he said. “can you spread her open for us?”

you’d honestly forgotten johnny was there; his hold was so warm and familiar that you hardly noticed it. he chuckled against your neck, breath tickling your skin. you knew he felt the way you shivered in response and you felt his smile widen before he lifted his head to peer down at your naked bottom half. “certainly,” he said. “be a good girl and stay still, baby.”

then his big hands were on your thighs, spreading them further apart to expose you properly. you jumped slightly when he touched your pussy, squirming and gasping until he shushed you softly; then with each hand he spread your lips apart, allowing them a full view of your hole.

yuta was the first to speak. “ok,” he breathed. “i’m fucking her first.”

there were mild protests from the others, but no one made any real move to stop him; clearly, you figured, they all knew they’d get their turn. he made quick work of his jeans; unzipping them and pulling out his dick before you registered what was happening. he caught your eye, smiling slyly. “you want it?” he asked.

at that point, you should have said no. you should have put a stop to all this and run to taeyong, or doyoung, or someone because this was all wrong and you knew that. they knew that. but this had gone too far already and right now, all you cared about, all you could think about, was the hard, dripping cock in yuta’s hand. “yes,” you whispered.

his smile widened as he approached you, situating himself between your spread legs. “hold her still for me, john,” he said. johnny made a noise of agreement, moving his hands to hold your thighs firmly open.

though not the largest in the group, yuta was by no means small; just the sight of his cock throbbing and pulsating in his palm made you twitch nervously. once the tip was resting against your entrance, he gently cupped your face, pulling you forward to press a kiss to your nose. it was tender and sweet and the complete opposite to what was about to happen.

it took him a while to push all the way inside you; his size and your lack of experience made it difficult to fit. but he managed, eventually, with the help of johnny’s finger on your clit, making you wetter for his band mate to fuck you; and the feeling of his dick inside you was beyond description. you felt used, full, objectified in the best way. you felt like a doll; spread open for his cock and ready to take whatever he decided to give you. slowly he started to move; his arms rested on your thighs, holding you down and giving him leverage to fuck you. you threw your head back when he finally hit against your cervix, completely overwhelmed, and johnny took the chance to grab your neck, holding you in position looking up at him. he tilted his head. “feel good?” he asked.

a weak ‘nngh’ was all you could manage in response, but none of them faulted you for it. johnny grinned and released your neck only to shove his fingers into your mouth. you choked at the surprise intrusion but quickly got used to it; soon the large, thick fingers were a comforting presence and you sucked at them desperately as yuta continued to stretch you open. you looked back to face the others, and saw that the three not touching you all had their dicks in their hands, stroking themselves to the scene in front of them.

“no one cum,” johnny ordered the watching men. “she’s gonna take all our loads. aren’t you?”

you nodded, but at that moment, pussy stuffed and mouth full while the others watched, you’d have agreed to anything johnny said just for the fact that it was him that said it— and to hear the deep, approving “good girl”, that came in response.

yuta came quickly and without warning; he moaned and shouted something in japanese as he made two or three hard, final thrusts before you felt him release inside you. it felt warm, strangely. it felt nice.

he stayed on top of you for moment, breathing heavily, before pulling out and retreating. you felt warm liquid slowly spilling out of you for a moment, before johnny’s long finger pushed it back in. “good girls don’t waste their owners’ cum,” he muttered and you blushed, nuzzling into his neck.

“alright,” johnny said, “who’s next?”

“us.” you looked up to see mark and haechan approaching you and johnny raised an eyebrow. “both of you?” he asked.

“pussy and mouth,” mark said, like it was obvious. “duh.”

johnny hummed, pressing his face against yours. “can you take that, baby? two cocks at once?”

“of course she can,” haechan rolled his eyes. “she doesn’t have a choice.”

“take it easy, man,” jaehyun muttered, but the look of sheer delirium on your face told him just how much you were loving this— being used without a say in what happened to your own body. you knew they’d stop if you told them; but why would you?

johnny helped you lie down, head in his lap as haechan climbed on top of your chest. his dick was hard and leaking and right in your face; he slapped it against your cheek a few times before forcing it in.

you choked, eyes watering, but took it into your mouth obediently. you’d never done this before, so you let haechan take the lead, which he probably would have done anyway; you let him slam his dick against the back of your throat, again and again, ignoring you whining and choking around his cock. it was painful and uncomfortable and degrading but at the same time it somehow felt so fucking good. maybe it was the way johnny whispered praises in your ear, telling you how well you’re taking your members, what a good teammate you are. or maybe it was the feeling of mark sliding into your pussy easily, finally filling you up again.

he wasn’t as big as yuta, but especially to someone who was a virgin a few minutes ago, he was the furthest thing from small. he fucked you slower and more tenderly than the elder, but he gripped your hips with the same firm, unquestioned ownership of you that they all exuded. somehow he and haechan fell into the same rhythm, their cocks hitting the deepest parts of you at the same time and it was completely overwhelming. through watering eyes you stared up at haechan, barely making out his face through your tears. you moaned around his cock, struggling with his size and you felt your teeth graze against his shaft. he stopped for a moment, cursing under his breath before his palm collided with your face. it wasn’t particularly painful, but it left a lingering sting that floated among the multitudes of different sensations you were experiencing.

“don’t fucking bite me,” he growled, before his thrusts started again.

you heard johnny click his tongue, running his hands through your hair. “bad girl,” he chuckled. “can’t handle a dick in your mouth, huh?”

you whined, sound muffled by haechan’s cock and you heard the men laugh. “we’ll train her up,” haechan grinned. suddenly he grabbed your hair, pulling your head further down onto his dick as his thrusts sped up. his moans got louder and louder, turning to shouts before he cried out painfully and liquid filled your mouth. it tasted strange; salty and strange at the same time. when he pulled out, you saw white liquid coating his cock. “hold on, haechan,” johnny said. “she’ll lick you clean.”

haechan grinned, and then his dick was at your mouth once again. you swallowed the liquid in your mouth so you could open it again, letting him feed his cock between your lips. you licked and suckled at it dutifully, and when he pulled out again, his cock was clean. “good girl,” he purred.

the sight of you licking his friend’s cock clean seemed to push mark over the edge too; he grunted, cursing loudly before you felt yourself filling up again as he released inside you. panting heavily, he sat limply for a moment before pulling out.

the sight was beyond anything they could have dreamed of; their sweet youngest member, lying naked with her head in johnny’s lap and cum leaking out of her holes, too tired and fucked out to even close her legs. they wished they could keep you like this forever; spread open, used, and ready for more.

you were barely conscious by the time jaehyun pushed into you; by now the intense waves of pleasure were a distant sensation; his voice as he spoke to you clouded by the overwhelming emotions overtaking you. you felt his hands on your face, looking up to meet his kind but dark eyes and you gave him a weak smile.

he didn’t take long to cum, perhaps more out of mercy for you than anything else; before he released he pushed two fingers into your mouth, letting you suck and gag yourself on them while he chased his orgasm. he came with a yell, his final, heavy thrust finally pushing you over the edge too.

you felt yourself release around his dick, body convulsing with pleasure. you were completely delirious, screaming though your orgasm and clawing desperately at johnny’s arms. he talked you through it, voice low, but you couldn’t make out what he was saying.

when you finally finished, it proved too much to you; you went limp, completely numb as you blacked out. pulling out of you slowly, jaehyun looked uncertainly at johnny. the elder just smiled, stroking your hair. “she’s fine,” he said. “baby can’t handle that much pleasure yet.”

jaehyun smiled, staring down at your sleeping form and running a large hand up and down your thigh. he looked up, suddenly seeming troubled. “john, you didn’t get to…”

johnny laughed, shaking his head. “doesn’t matter. she needed me with her.”

jaehyun hummed, still staring quizzically at the elder, who shrugged. “it’s no big deal, jae,” he grinned. “she belongs to all of us now. i’ll get my turn.”

you woke up in bed hours later, drenched in sweat and desperate for johnny; you cried out for him, reaching into the darkness and hoping you’d find him there. when he finally walked into the room, coming to sit next to you, you were nearly in tears from how needy and empty you felt.

“johnny,” you whimpered again. “please.”

and get his turn he did.

-

thanks for the request! my first nct fic, hope it was good. i def got carried away lol. reblogs and comments appreciated, requests open! love🖤🖤🖤

taglist open!

[wileys-russo]

putting the ex in sex II j.hermoso

18+ mature content, minors DNI!! - alexia and jenni never dated in this bc i said so. this is my first time posting anything 18+ so be nice (i may end up deleting it who knows) but strap in my friends, she's a long one at 12K.

putting the ex in sex II j.hermoso

when you finally broke up with jenni after three years together it felt like your entire life came crashing down and your world shattered around you.

you'd fallen in love hard and fast with the tall tattooed striker and from the moment you were introduced it had always been near impossible not to be drawn to her enigmatic charm and wolfish grin.

her charisma and effortless self confidence could just as easily be written off as arrogance to someone who didn't know her, not helped by the often cocky smile plastered to her face.

though you couldn't deny you'd found her attractive from first glance, your best friend alexia introducing the two of you when you finally signed for barcelona a season after jenni had returned.

you'd briefly known of jenni before you'd properly met her, having seen her scattered across your friends social media posts and stories over the years.

you'd grown up with alexia and though you were a couple of years younger than her you were incredibly close, and you found yourself often looking to her like the sister you'd never had.

which is why she'd been nothing short of devastated when despite going through the academy together you weren't offered a professional senior contract with your home club like she was.

you instead signed with atlético madrid and alexia had been heartbroken when you moved across the country. but despite that the two of you stayed just as close and you slowly climbed up the professional ranks, using your rejection from barcelona to only push your football to new heights.

you bounced between a few different clubs through spain as you grew up, even making the move over to germany to play for wolfsburg for a couple of seasons later on in your career, the different style of football helping your development even further.

and it paid off as finally in the same year you'd received your first national call up for spain you were offered a contract with barcelona, alexia having caught wind before you'd even had time to consider, calling you and yelling at you that if you didn't accept she would personally fly to germany, forge your signature, kidnap you and bring you home in her suitcase.

and so signing with barcelona in 2020 you were delighted that you already knew a few of the girls from your various other clubs. mainly having played alongside both ingrid and fridolina in germany before they'd moved, as well as maría, or mapi as she preferred to go by, for a couple of seasons during your time at atlético.

so welcomed in with open arms and unable to shake alexia from being stuck to your side even if you wanted to, it didn't take long before your place within the team felt cemented and secured.

but there was always just one thing lingering at the back of your mind day by day, jenni.

from the moment you'd both been introduced the older girl had kept an eye on you, unable to quite put her finger on what it was that had her so drawn toward you.

though the more time you spent together, even mostly in small groups, the closer you both became.

everything started to shift when after a particularly lavish win over real madrid and eight days between your last match and the next you all decided to go out that night as a team.

one or ten too many tequila shots consumed jenni was unable to keep her hands off of you as you pulled her with you to the dance floor, grinding your body against hers now it was flooded with liquid courage and too many shots of your own.

it was safe to say one thing lead to another and you found yourself waking up that next morning in a bed that wasn't yours, trapped by muscular tattooed arms that also weren't yours, and with your naked body pressed against another that also was not yours.

before you had time to panic and think of an escape route to avoid any awkwardness jenni had stirred beside you, one bright green eye cracking open tiredly as her lips curled into a lazy smile.

"so, does this mean i can take you to dinner tonight guapa?"

it didn't take many of those little dinners, lunches and drives to and from trainings with her and some certain added benefits, before you came to the abrupt and sudden realization that you wanted more, you wanted her.

though jenni beat you to the punch appearing on your doorstep that week with a large bunch of flowers and the signature bright eyed cocky smile you swooned for, asking you to be her girlfriend.

the striker was barely able to get the words out before you were nodding eagerly and launching at her, her laughter at you silenced as you'd smashed your lips to hers, flowers discarded on your kitchen counter as she was quick to carry you off to the bedroom.

and for the next couple of years you continued to only fall harder and faster for her, moving in together after a few months and rapidly ticking off the boxes one by one toward building a life together.

but everything came to a screaming halt when one night she'd sat you down and came clean about her intentions to move to mexico once her contract was up with barcelona at the end of the season.

you wanted to be mad, you wanted to yell at her and hit her and cry out about how she was leaving you and leaving the life you'd built together behind.

but you couldn't, you loved her far too much to ever be that selfish knowing that over the last couple of months that twinkle in her eyes when on the pitch had dimmed just a little.

so you promised it didn't change anything as you started to help her pack her half of your shared life together into boxes, spending nights curled up in bed together planning about how you could continue this on opposite sides of the world, blinded by the fierce love budding in your hearts for one another to even consider otherwise.

the day she finally moved you'd never deny she took a piece of your heart with her which you trusted she'd look after, your girlfriend having made your best friends promise to look after you in her absence as she left behind her own half a heart in your safe and trustworthy hands.

and for the first six months things seemed to be okay, they were far from perfect as your relationship did its best to career over the inevitable speed bumps of the now permanent distance between you two, but they were okay.

but in all your forward planning what you hadn't accounted for was jenni's jealousy turning from something you found endearing, to something far far more toxic when it inevitably began to rot at the foundation of your now long distance relationship.

at first in the honeymoon stages of getting together you'd found the older girls jealousy quite flattering knowing it came from a place of sheer adoration and infatuation with you.

you'd melt when jenni's hand would firmly wrap around your waist or sit on the small of your back when out in public together, part of her skin always needing to be touching you no matter what. the way that her lips would graze the back of your neck or your shoulder blade as she pressed her taller body against yours.

but when jenni moved to another country and suddenly she wasn't able to seek out that physical assurance you were hers and only hers, it started to eat at her much more than she felt able to communicate, the fear of how others might perceive you without her there to assert that you were a very happily taken woman eating away at her.

you'd go out with friends and be bombarded with call after call from your girlfriend, demanding to know a list of who you were out with and proof that you weren't lying.

you'd tried time and time again to ask her where this sudden distrust came from, the questions dismissed as jenni noticed through videos on your friends stories a few of the newer signings gawking at you in ways only she was allowed to, your body hers and hers only to fantasize about.

the rampant calls and constant need to know where you were and who you were with then shifted into trying to police what you wore. the moment you even hinted at leaving the house for a social commitment jenni would be face timing you and ordering you to allow her to pick your outfit.

of course this need of jenni's to seemingly control every little aspect of your freedom and autonomy didn't sit well with you, and you often found yourself lying about plans just to avoid the arguments you knew would arise when you didn't give into her every single demand.

this in turn only meant your fights became uglier, more personal, both of you knowing exactly where to hit the other where it hurt. then suddenly that fierce love which had kept you connected, that invisible string which was always drawing you together despite the distance, snapped.

you still loved jenni, you really really did, and she would always have that piece of your heart you'd given her to take when she'd left for mexico.

but you just couldn't continue on like it was between you both anymore.

when you'd initiated the conversation about how you were feeling and she'd for once made no move to argue with you or fight for the relationship, it hurt like hell but you knew you'd made the right choice as you both confirmed your split.

jenni had already been playing in mexico for a season when the two of you parted ways so at least it removed the awkward possibility of playing on the same team anymore and having to see one another near daily as you adjusted to life now properly apart.

unsure if it had been a blessing or a curse an invisible game of tennis seemed to occur, with you and jenni seeming to bounce from injury to injury between you, paths never crossing for months as you weren't called up to national duty at the same time.

you'd barely spoken since the break up bar a few very basic congratulations on achievements or apologies for injuries exchanged over instagram before you'd made the first move and unfollowed her which she followed suit, numbers never deleted from one anothers phones but texts threads long gone.

despite how much it hurt to see them one thing you couldn't seem to bring yourself to do was delete your pictures with jenni, instead moving them all to a locked folder in your camera roll which alexia had put a password on and refused to share with you 'for your own good'.

despite her obvious long term loyalty to you as your best friend for more years than could be counted on both hands you knew alexia and jenni were still friends, as your ex still was with most of your current team mates both for club and country.

which lead for the first few months following your break up to a series of icy interactions at social events for these shared friends, both of you refusing to even acknowledge the other despite your friends attempts to ease the tension which you both flat out denied was there, claiming you'd moved on and all was fine.

you hadn't of course, not even close.

you'd tried time and time again to be with other women but found yourself loathing your ex even more for the fact that no matter what you tried jenni still rented a permanent space in your mind, and no one compared to the way she knew you and your body.

you had no idea but it was the same situation for jenni, the striker throwing herself into countless situationships and hookups as a coping mechanism for the gaping chasm you'd left in her life since you exited it, but nothing came even close in satisfying her the way being with you had.

when it had hit almost a year since your split you were invited out for mapi's birthday, eager for a night of drinking and dancing after you were finally cleared medically after suffering a small tear in your hamstring.

since jenni was in town visiting friends and family she too had been extended an invitation, something you'd had no idea of given neither of you had the other on social media and jenni hardly felt obliged to send her ex a text message with a spontaneous heads up of her whereabouts.

"you didn't tell them!? por dios maría!" alexia smacked the younger girl upside the head when she'd revealed the truth as they got ready together, you running late as you'd had some car troubles, something in the past your now ex girlfriend would have been your first call for help, though now single you'd had to rely on a mechanic instead.

"you said you told them amor!" ingrid groaned in agreement as mapi shrunk under the disapproving gazes of the taller women in front of her.

"i want them both to come! if i told them they might not have gone, and it is my birthday. do i not get a say in who comes?" mapi tried to defend herself to no avail, shrinking further as both her best friend and girlfriend lectured her tirelessly.

but they were cut off as the buzzer went, mapi quick to dart away and punch in her code letting you into the building, grinning as you flipped her off through the camera and disappeared into the elevator, knocking on the door a few minutes later.

"feliz cumpleaños puta!" you sang out happily as the defender opened the door, nearly falling onto her ass as you launched at her in a bear hug.

"why do you two look so miserable? i know you hate fun ale but tonight is not about you." you dropped down from mapi's back and squeezed your best friends shoulder sympathetically who huffed and pushed you away making you grin.

"jenni is going tonight." alexia blurted out as both mapi and ingrid winced and you gave them a strange look, handing the birthday girl a bottle of tequila as she kissed your cheek gratefully and zoomed off to grab shot glasses.

"and this is why you both look so nervous? está bien amiga's, we're both big girls i'm sure we can be in the same room for a few hours." you chuckled, everyone surprised at your reaction but deciding not to push it further.

well, two out of three did as mapi returned and clapped calling for shots.

"alexia i will be on my very best behaviour, promesa. now stop scowling you will get wrinkles abuela!" you teased as mapi handed you both a shot and the brunette hummed. "you better be, i do not feel like breaking up a boxing match tonight." your best friends eyes rolled as you bumped your shoulder into hers.

"hey the only person who wants to fight me when i'm drunk is maría." you pointed out as you all downed your shots and the birthday girl laughed, clinking her shot glass against yours with a wink

"sí, and i always win!"

the room full of your friends cheering as mapi entered you and alexia broke away from the group which surged toward the birthday girl to greet her, heading toward the bar as jenni spotted you and nearly choked on her drink, misa hitting her on the back with a concerned look.

though as laia poked her and nodded in your direction everything suddenly made sense.

"what? i swallowed a bug." jenni dismissed the knowing looks from her friends, a slight blush coating your cheeks as her eyes couldn't help but note the very short dress hugging your curves in all the right places, something stirring in her stomach at the way alexia's arm wrapped around you as you both ordered a drink.

but she swallowed it down as quickly as it reared its head, turning her body away from you and making an effort to converse with the small group she was sat with, perfectly content with pretending you didn't exist.

you managed to avoid one another for most of the night, the group now halved as nearly everyone was tipsy to say the least and twirling one another around on the dance floor, poor ingrid left to babysit a very drunk mapi who had already been threatened with being kicked out as she tried to get up on the tables and dance.

"hola." jenni tensed a little at your voice as you finally appeared beside her, ordering a drink and leaning against the bar as your ex sent you a polite smile. "hola." she greeted back, fingers drumming anxiously against the counter top.

"cómo has estado?" you asked, raising an eyebrow as jenni looked back to you in surprise, assuming the simple hello would be all she'd get out of you which she'd been fine with.

"eh fine, and you?" she asked as you smiled, something which actually seemed sincere as it met your eyes. "only fine? you just won the league, no?" you laughed, a melodic little noise which jenni had forgotten how much she'd missed.

"sí, maybe a little better than fine then." jenni grinned, both of you falling comfortably into conversation as a few of your friends watched on cautiously from afar as if awaiting a bomb to go off.

but when after around ten minutes you hugged and parted ways their worries eased, both of you assuring everything had been friendly and you were just catching up, reminding that just because you'd not worked out romantically didn't mean one day you might not be able to be friends.

and in the moment both of you had truly believed that might be possible.

~

nearly a year of build up and finally it happened, the squad roster for the world cup and prep camp was announced and both your own and jenni's names were on it, you'd be playing together again for the first time since your split.

not having spoken since mapi's birthday an olive branch had still seemingly been extended, jenni following you again on instagram as after a couple of days you'd done the same though you'd not interacted bar a few odd likes on posts.

despite alexia's obvious concern you waved off her worries, assuring you had both come to an agreement of sorts at mapi's birthday that you'd like to try and be friends if not at least civil and polite with one another.

your best friend was suspicious but supportive, the two of you arriving to camp together and embracing all of your national teammates you'd not seen in months now as everyone spent the afternoon catching up.

and much to everyones surprise the entire camp and tournament you and jenni seemed on good terms, you'd not hung out or interacted very much one on one but given you were all quite close with the same small group when away on national camp you'd had no issues spending time together in that setting.

as you all flew to new zealand and the tournament kicked off you hugged one another after victories and consoled each other after the loss against japan, any lingering tension melting away as you settled into this new normal building between you both.

everything had been fine and it seemed like you were well on the right track to indeed being friends again, but then you'd won the world cup.

the night of celebrations following your victory had been hazy to say the least, alcohol flowing like water as you all danced and drank and celebrated late into the night.

you had no recollection of going to bed and so waking up with a body beside you you'd assumed it was likely alexia. given it wouldn't be the first time your best friend had dragged you to bed with her when you were far too drunk to walk there yourself.

but as you shifted and groaned quietly at the way your head pounded, an arm settled over your torso pulling you a little closer and you cracked one eye open, very quickly realizing you were half naked and there was an all too familiar ache in your lower body.

and the arm currently holding you was in fact not alexia's.

"oh dios mio. por favor no!" you groaned a little louder this time, burying your face in your hands as small snippets of last night flickered through your mind.

"oh sí, buenos días princesa!" jenni now lay awake beside you, arm retracting from your waist as she stretched with a grunt and flashed you an infuriatingly smug smirk. "do not call me that. get out!" you huffed, in denial that this was even happening right now.

"get out of my room?" jenni chuckled, rolling onto her side and pushing herself up a little, looking down at you as the smirk never left her lips and you continued to hide your face in your hands.

"this never happened. i was drunk, i didn't know what i was doing and you should have stopped it!" you sat up suddenly and shoved at your ex who scoffed as you bent over the edge of the bed, rummaging around the pile of clothes on the floor and pulling out a shirt quickly tugging it on and covering your naked top half.

"me? i tried! but you jumped me like a saltamontes, started grinding on me and dry humping my leg over and over like-" her words fell short as you filled with both rage and embarrassment lunged at her, hands raining down slaps on any inch of her you could connect with, jenni making a strange noise and shielding herself with her arms against the attack.

"vale! vale! this never happened." jenni finally caught your hands in hers as you scowled and pulled them free, slipping out of bed grateful you still had underwear on, clicking your tongue disapprovingly at your ex whose eyes roamed your bare legs.

"it never happened and it won't happen again." you warned, grabbing a pair of jeans which you thought were yours and wriggling yourself into them as jenni rolled her eyes.

"how would it never happen again if it did not happen once?" sitting up properly still half naked the older girl clearly had no shame as she ran a hand through her raven black hair, pushing it to one side of her head.

jenni stretching properly her breasts sat to attention and she caught your eyes flickering toward them as the smug smirk returned to her lips and heat crept up your neck as your gaze wrenched away.

but as you went to leave you heard her clear her throat, slowly turning back around and raising an eyebrow, crossing your arms over your chest.

"you have something of mine." jenni grinned holding up the other shirt which had been on the floor, turning it to show your number as you glanced down at the one you had on and sighed seeing it was indeed hers.

gesturing for her to toss your shirt to you she shook her head, still grinning at you only boiling your blood. "you first." she gestured for you to return her own top, knowing full well you had nothing else on underneath as your jaw clenched.

with a huff you stripped it off and hauled it at her with all the strength you could muster, the material hitting her in the face as you stormed over and snatched yours from her hand, quickly pulling it on and making a beeline for her door as jenni peeled her top from her face.

"hey chica!" you paused with another deep seeded sigh, hand on the door handle as you again turned to look at her with a raised eyebrow.

"your ass still looks perfecta in those jeans." your ex grinned as you withheld the urge to launch at her again, simply flinging her door open and yanking it closed with an angry slam.

jenni only chuckled and tossed her own shirt back to the floor, getting comfortable in bed intending to sleep for another few hours until you all needed to leave for the airport later in the day.

for the entire plane ride back and the rest of the post win celebrations now home in spain you steered well clear of your ex, using your hangover as an excuse which seemed to fly with the team who were too busy with their own post win endorphins to pay your odd behavior any attention.

it seemed despite that slip up jenni had agreed that in fact that night never happened, as the months passed and you didn't hear a word from her, not telling a single soul about where you'd woken up that morning.

you didn't see your ex again until a couple of months later toward the back end of october, both of you in london for the week with media commitments for adidas and the ballon d'or ceremony.

you knew from the schedule you'd been emailed that you'd not be able to avoid her, and with nearly all of your friends gushing about how great it was you and jenni were so mature and able to be so friendly despite everything, you knew you had to save face.

so you touched down in london with the lingering hope that maybe you could rectify the mistake made back in august in australia and try to get back on track as friends with the older girl.

the first time you saw her had been at a shoot with adidas for their newest boots, you and jenni of course booked in for the same morning session as the english girls also sponsored clenched the later slot with media of their own to attend to.

it seemed that jenni could in fact be mature when she wanted to as there was no jokes made about either your ass or that night you spent together, the striker truly nothing but friendly and professional.

what you failed to notice however was the way her eyes roamed over you as it was your turn to be photographed, clad only in bike shorts and a sports bra as jenni keenly noticed the new tattoo littering your back, knowing your body so well you could have had a new freckle and she would have picked up on it.

you tensed as the shoot was called for the day and a cold finger absentmindedly traced the dragon which wound down your spine. "i like this." jenni hummed, touch gone as soon as it had arrived as you pulled on a shirt and turned to face her.

"gracias." you smiled politely, called away by your agent before she could say another word, jenni's own attention also needed elsewhere. and for the next couple of days you avoided one another, none the wiser that in fact you were staying in the same hotel as your busy schedules kept you away for most of your time in london.

both of you having taken a few group photos together and exchanging pleasantries the night before at the ballon d'or ceremony, surrounded by other friends and teammates it was easy enough to avoid one another even if that hadn't been intentional.

it came as a surprise as jenni entered the bar of the hotel she was staying at, having waved off her management agency after the last meeting of the trip with now the final night in london to herself, and she spotted you already sat inside at a table by yourself where you'd also just wrapped up your final meeting of the trip.

"hola!" you looked up from your phone and sighed at the toothy grin which greeted you, jenni sitting herself right down opposite you before you could even say another word. "oh claro, do sit down." you chuckled with a roll of your eyes.

"gracias, have you eaten?"

the two of you again seemed to be mature enough not to bring anything up as you ate and drank, jenni of course making jokes about other things to pull any laughter from you she could.

the sound was addictive to her like a drug and you'd always teased her for being quite the jester, egging on she just needed to get a red nose tattooed next to which she'd just rolled her eyes at in amusement.

"i should go, early flight." you excused yourself politely once your plates were cleared, jenni signalling for the check as she caught the waiters eye.

"mine too, but this was nice." jenni smiled sincerely which you returned, a comfortable silence settling before the check was placed down and your ex grabbed it before you could, slipping her card in and handing it back.

"jenni!" you protested with wide eyes, a tattooed hand waving off your protests as her card was returned and you both stood to your feet, your arguments falling on deaf ears as you walked together to the elevator.

"you are so infuriating sometimes hermoso, i could have paid!" you rolled your eyes as the doors closed. "sí you could have, but if you wanted to then you should have been faster." jenni smirked, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall of the elevator.

as she did your eyes couldn't help but roam her body, the girl clad only in suit pants and a matching vest top leaving her tattooed muscular arms out on full display as something stirred within you and you cleared your throat looking away.

meanwhile jenni's own eyes wandered down to your exposed cleavage of the tight corset top you had on, jaw clenching as you inhaled and exhaled deeply sending your chest bobbing up and down which her gaze followed.

without either of you saying a single thing the energy in the elevator suddenly shifted, the floors seeming to slow as they passed one by one, both of your rooms on the upper levels as jenni's bright green eyes met yours.

though you'd only had a few wines at dinner you could feel the alcohol buzzing at the tips of your fingers and before either one of you could blink your lips smashed against one another.

the kiss was messy and clumsy as jenni's hands gripped your hips pressing you against the wall, yours cupping her jaw and grabbing the back of her neck deepening the kiss further.

tongues clashed against teeth and you withheld the urge to moan at the faint taste of red wine and spearmint gum in the older girls mouth, her tongue shoved down your throat as your breath hitched a little.

but just as quickly as you'd latched onto one another you pushed apart, chests heaving as the doors opened and jenni placed her foot across it to stop it closing right away.

"ven aquí." she rasped and pointed to the floor in front of her as you stepped forward and her hands fell either side of your face, her thumb carefully wiping away your now smudged lipstick as your heart rate accelerated again at the oddly tender gesture.

as the taller girl leaned down you puckered your lips assuming she'd kiss you again, only hers curled into their usual smug smirk as they ghosted your own.

"7012." was all she said, her touch disappearing as she stepped out of the elevator and turned, walking away from you without a single look back as you frowned and the doors closed.

you were stunned to silence as the elevator continued upward to your own floor, your skin burning where her hands had been just mere seconds ago.

the ghost of jenni's touch lingering against your body you loathed the way you craved for it to come back, and it was almost as if you blacked out as within what felt like seconds you were outside her door and knocking furiously on it.

"hola." she pulled it open and sang out with a cocky smile, leaning in the doorway as you huffed and forced your eyes not to drop down to where she'd unbuttoned her vest top, conveniently not wearing a bra.

"i don't want to get back together." you started firmly, jenni's smile never dropping from her face as she hummed. "neither do i." she shrugged, hands reaching out to settle on your waist.

slender fingers traced the slivers of skin which protruded from the slits down either side of the top you had on meaning you shivered a little causing her smirk to widen.

"so are you coming inside or would you like me to fuck you in the hallway?" the casual tone in which she said the words had your eyes widening as you looked around and slapped a hand over her mouth pushing her inside.

"nobody is around! relajarse." jenni laughed pulling your hand away as the door closed behind you. "this-" you gestured between the two of you. "-means nothing, sí?" you warned as sternly as you could manage with the predatory way she grinned down at you.

"i have missed the way you think you can boss me around." jenni smirked, advancing slowly toward you with a shake of her head as you huffed.

"we both know who really called the shots when we were together jennifer." you bit back, undeterred as her body met yours and walked you backward until your back hit the door, muscular arms caging you in as her large tattooed hands splayed against the wood either side of your head.

"maybe. but inside the bedroom that was not you, was it?" jenni tutted condescendingly, leaning down as her breath fanned your face. "oh and look where we are cariño? a bedroom." her cocky chuckled vibrated against your neck.

"so are you going to do something then?" you challenged as her head pulled back and she quirked an eyebrow, accepting the bait dangled as her hands grabbed your thighs and easily hoisted you up into her arms, your legs wrapping around her hips as you pressed your lips hungrily against hers.

with her hands occupied yours gripped the back of her neck, dominating the kiss for once and smiling against her lips as you sucked on her tongue and she moaned quietly only spurring you on further.

which is why when your back met the mattress you were quick to push her off of you, straddling her instead and connecting your lips again, only breaking apart as jenni tapped your hips and you pulled your top off as she did the same, both items tossed to the floor.

"hola mis chicas." jenni grinned at your decision to also not wear a bra as her veiny hands squeezed teasingly at your breasts and you groaned. "don't do that! mi dios you are like a horny teenage boy talking to them and that is not a turn on." you warned with a roll of your eyes.

"so bossy." jenni teased as her hands kneaded at them, lips millimeters from yours as suddenly her cold fingers sharply pinched your nipples causing a moan to fly out of your mouth and your head to flick backwards.

"i know how to deal with that though, don't i amor?" jenni cooed as her fingers teasingly tugged at your nipples and you could only nod at the mix of both pleasure and pain as her lips softly kissed at the column of your throat.

"what would everyone else say if they saw you right now hm?" jenni questioned as your hips began to rock against hers subconsciously and her large hands switched between both squeezing and pinching at your chest as her teeth tugged playfully on the lobe of your ear.

"jen no marks!" you warned with a gasp as she nipped at your neck, but her tongue was already licking over the fast forming bruise to soothe it by the time the words left your mouth.

"told you this ass looked perfecta mm? even better in these tight pants tonight cari." you moaned again as her hands trailed downwards to cup your ass instead, squeezing suddenly before you surged forward and captured her lips in a messy kiss.

"less talking more touching." you mumbled out as your hands rubbed across the strong muscles of her back. if you wanted to you could have traced each and every tattoo there from memory, the way your nails dragged against jenni's skin with a slight sting encouraged the girl under you to continue what she was doing.

you fought her to take over the kiss though with a sudden and sharp smack to your left ass cheek a small gasp was all it took for her to win dominance, other hand grabbing your jaw to hold your head still.

your bottom lip trapped between her teeth she tugged on it and gave you that trademark smug smirk, sucking it sharply back into her mouth as you exhaled and jerked on her lap, needing more.

"such a big mouth and bossy attitude but when it comes down to it bebita it is only good for one thing, sí?" jenni mocked, the air stolen from your lungs as suddenly you were beneath her again, shifting uncomfortably as you felt wetness gathering in your underwear though still trapped in the pants you'd worn to dinner.

your pupils dilated even further as her hair which was for once out fell down to frame her face, bright white teeth baring down at you as her strong tattooed hand came to wrap around your neck, squeezing gently to test the waters rewarding her with a small moan which had her ego inflating to the roof.

"but i will put your mouth to work a little later. now i think you need me to take care of you amor, tan impaciente y tan necesitado."

~

jenni wasn't surprised to wake up to an empty bed the next morning as you'd left for the airport already, every single trace of you gone from her room bar the few marks you'd left on her body and the slight ache between her legs which caused her to smile lazily at the memories of last night.

it was safe to say after that night the two of you fell into an understanding of sorts.

meaning that night was not a one time occurrence, both assuring one another each time that it meant nothing, jenni's eyes rolling as you reminded her over and over you had no intentions of getting back together despite her never asking you to.

you'd managed to keep everything between only the two of you, as far as you knew anyway as you'd not breathed a word to anyone of the late night encounters. sleeping together an additional four times as the months passed until you were both once again called up to spain for national duty and the nations league games.

but knowing there was dozens of your close friends around at all times, none of which were stupid, you had to be cautious not to alert them to anything. so the two of you remaining friendly you'd again and again brushed off jenni's attempts to get you into bed with her during camp.

though you couldn't resist her completely after delivering a crushing 7-1 victory over switzerland, your needs surpassing perhaps your logic as you caught jenni's eye in the change rooms after the match when the celebrations started.

neither of you needed to say a word to know what was going to inevitably follow later that night, but that didn't mean you didn't reap some joy in making her work for it.

all throughout the evening your ex had tried to again catch your eye to hint she'd like to head upstairs as the team celebrated in one of the conference rooms of the hotel.

family and friends welcomed as well you'd found yourself pulled into conversation with your best friends younger sister, alba chattering your ear off and introducing you to a few of her friends which had come to watch.

one of them in particular seemed to take a liking to you, and jenni found her patience wearing thin as with alexia distracted with the presence of her girlfriend nobody stepped in to pull your attention away from alba's incredibly handsy friend.

but knowing she had no claim over you or your focus anymore jenni did her best to distract herself, dancing until her feet felt they might drop off as misa tried time and time again to shove shots down her throat.

but jenni still hopeful of the night ending the way she wanted it to did her best to remain mostly sober, managing to palm off drink after drink to whomever of her teammates was closest at the time.

but as the night started to slowly wind down jenni didnt miss the way various other couples all disappeared together one by one and her yearning for you grew, her patience finally wearing thin.

watching you run a hand through your hair and tilt your head to the side with a loud laugh at something that was likely not very funny, jenni's blood ran cold knowing all too well that was how you flirted.

it was within seconds jenni had a scary realisation as emotions she'd kept bottled up all rose to the surface and she felt lightheaded.

jenni wasn't over you, not even close.

with that in mind the older girl knew the best and smartest move would now be to call it a night, take herself up to her room and recognize that these new feelings heavily complicated whatever arrangement had fallen between you both.

but no, that was far too logical and still with a yearning to follow through on what she'd planned, she made her move.

"hola." you looked up in surprise hearing jenni's voice as she stood behind you, alba's friend you'd been talking to giving her a curious look as jenni's hand squeezed your shoulder.

"you are?" the girl questioned jenni as you shook your head with a small smile at the way her hand stayed on your shoulder. "jenni, her girlfriend." but it was wiped away at that as your head whipped around to glare at her.

"ex girlfriend." you clarified firmly as alba's friend chuckled and pushed to stand up. "sounds complicated. maybe i will see you around barcelona!" she tipped her drink to you before wandering off as you pushed away jenni's hand and stood.

"you cannot help yourself can you?" you accused with arms crossed over your chest. "who, me? she looked like she was making you uncomfortable! i was just being a good friend, really." jenni smiled charmingly, fear causing her stomach to clench as you placed down your drink and walked off without a word.

"well, are you coming or not jennifer?" you called out over your shoulder, anybody within earshot far too drunk to care as jenni near tripped over her own feet in her haste to follow you out of the conference room.

not unlike that night in london the moment you were alone in the elevator your lips connected, though albeit a little more cautiously well aware that if the doors did open anyone could walk in.

you sprang away from one another the moment they did, attempting to straighten yourselves out as she walked just behind you toward your room which was closer than hers.

even with nobody around to see you were nervous as you opened your door and let her in, eyes scanning the empty hallway with a nod before you closed the door, her hands and lips right back on you the moment you did.

"you enjoy this, don't you?" jenni pulled away to question, one hand gripping your neck as the other rubbed small circles into your hip. "making you work for something? very much so." you hadn't answered the question she'd really been asking, too horny to catch onto the hidden meaning as you flashed her a grin.

your smug smile only grew as jenni pushed your body against the wall with a thump, veiny tattooed hands firmly clasping either side of your face and tilting your head back so her tongue could explore every single inch of your mouth as her lips pressed hungrily against yours.

"why did we break up again?" the taller girl pulled away and rasped, both your chests heaving slightly before her lips attacked yours once more.

"you’re stubborn, controlling, argumentative and immature." you mumbled out in between kisses, your own hands slipping up her shirt and pressing against her abs.

"oh is that all?" jenni let you go with a chuckle, grabbing your hands where they were wandering and pinning them against the wall by your sides with a quirk of her eyebrow.

"no you also have jealousy issues, shit tattoos and a superiority complex." you smirked up at her as the older girl snickered and shook her head, letting go of your hands and instead grabbing at your thighs as you jumped on instinct.

"mm princesa now you are just hurting my ego." jenni pouted sarcastically, the two of you now at eyeline as she spun around and walked you both toward the bed, a small hiss leaving your lips as jenni nipped sharply at your neck, tanned skin trapped between her teeth.

"did I mention that’s also grossly inflated?" you breathed out as your back met the mattress and the striker hovered over you with a wolfish grin, jet black hair falling around the two of you like a curtain.

"maybe once or twice." "bien, someone has to keep it in check."

"again with that big mouth cari." jenni tutted, eyes roaming your face with a smirk as your own lips curled upward and you shrugged. "you've always loved it, its not nice to lie." you exhaled, eyes fluttering closed as her hands slipped up your shirt.

"sí, but i much more enjoy the pretty little sounds i can pull from it." jenni teased as you gasped, her hand suddenly slipping down into your shorts and gently caressing you where you needed her though over your underwear.

but right as it seemed your needs would be met her hand retracted and she sat up, shuffling back a little to sit against the headboard of your bed.

"fuera de." her fingers tugged at the bottom of your shirt, making no move to undress herself as you raised an eyebrow but moved to stand, pulling off both your shirt and your bra as your ex watched on through hooded eyes.

"todo." jenni clicked her tongue and nodded to your shorts as you tried to join her on the bed again, rolling your eyes but pulling them down to your ankles, a little slower than really needed as you smirked at the way her eyes never left your now bare chest.

as much as jenni always appreciated your ass, she would always be a boob girl at heart and you knew exactly how to use it to your advantage to get what you wanted.

"you now." you spoke up as jenni smiled and looked like she wanted to say something but stood none the less, ridding herself of her shirt but keeping on both her shorts and sports bra.

"todo." you mocked her earlier word, pointer finger snapping teasingly at the waistband of her shorts with a grin as she towered over you her head shook and she let out a chuckle.

"no." was all she spoke before suddenly you were pinned beneath her on the bed, hands either side of your head and hips pressed to the mattress under her own.

"remember guapa, you like to think you are in charge but that is never the case. is it?" jenni cooed, face hovering just above yours with a teasing grin, letting go of your hands in favour of playing with your chest instead as your eyes closed.

but jenni knowing your own body perhaps better than you did with a sharp tweak of your nipple in her left hand and her mouth sucking at the right a loud moan left your lips as your hands now free tangled in her hair.

your breath caught in your throat as without warning her other hand pulled down your underwear, pushing herself up and off of you for a moment to allow her to kick the black lace away from your ankles in one simple maneuver before she settled herself back on top of you.

"jen por favor!" you breathed out, now uncomfortably wet and needing her to do something about it. "mm what? use that big mouth to tell me what you want and maybe you will get it querida." jenni teased, your mouth opening and closing as her hand trailed slowly down your bare stomach.

"need you." you managed out as her other hand found its home wrapped around your neck, squeezing lightly as you moaned and the sound was music to her ears, rewarded with a kiss that had your head spinning for it.

"need me..." jenni cooed in your ear as she pulled away, teasingly pushing one finger inside you as your hips bucked but she pushed them back down into the mattress with her own, squeezing your neck again when you didn't answer.

"normally so much to say hermosa, no problem running your mouth to your little friend tonight no?" jenni teased, slowly pumping the single digit in and out only causing your need for her to grow as you moaned again.

"do you wish it was her here instead of me? her fingers inside you and her tongue in your mouth? zorrita." jenni hissed in your ear as another finger joined the first and her pace sped up slightly.

though not anywhere near close to what you needed from her you tried to grind upward, the hand which had been wrapped around your neck moving to press against your bare stomach forcing your body to sink deeper into the soft mattress beneath you.

growing impatient of her teasing and with cheeks flushed red your hand flew to tangle in her hair, grabbing a fistful and tugging on it with a huff.

"cállate y fóllame!" you ordered, though it came out much less stern than you'd hoped as your head pushed back into the mattress when her fingers pumped faster.

"mi niña buena. there's that little mouth!" jenni grinned as a string of curses left your lips and you squirmed beneath her, the coil in your stomach starting to tighten as her skilled slender fingers pistoned rapidly in and out of you.

"i'm close! jenni i'm gonna come." you manged to gasp out, nails scratching down her back as you neared the edge. "no, hold it." your eyes flew back open at her words, staring up at her in disbelief as she smirked down at you.

"i can't." "you can." "no jenni por fav-"

"be a good girl and wait." jenni growled as she felt your walls clench around her fingers, feet twitching as you let out a pornographic moan.

"who makes you feel like this? who knows your body best preciosa?" jenni questioned, grinning as her fingers slowed and you whined needily. "answer me." you hissed as her teeth clamped down on your nipple and your hips bucked.

"you, fuck you jenni!" you managed to spit out, wolfish grin widening as she kissed between your breasts and sped her fingers up again.

"so close, jen please!" you begged, unable to hold on much longer as her fingers pumped in and out and in out, her spare hand kneading your chest and tweaking lazily at your overly sensitive nipples as you slipped and tripped not to fall over the edge without her say so.

"sí, such a good girl. come for me amor!" with her permission it barely took another two seconds before your body spasmed under hers and jenni gently coaxed you through your orgasm, slowing down the thrusts of her fingers.

but you barely had time to recover before suddenly her tongue was replacing them and your hands tangled in her hair with a moan. "jesus!" you hissed out as she pinched your clit and her tongue skillfully darted in and out of you, and within what felt like seconds you were on the brink of coming again.

this time jenni made no move to stop you as she shamelessly ate you out, her mouth never leaving you and you were sure she would coax a third orgasm from you but incredibly oversensitive you pulled at her hair and she retracted.

"vale?" jenni questioned as she moved to lay beside you instead, her voice now softer and with an air of slight concern as you nodded, just needing a moment to collect yourself as you caught your breath.

once you had it was no surprise to your ex girlfriend when now you moved on top of her, stamina restored as a smile curled into your lips and her hands palmed at your ass with a grin.

"my turn."

~

“so cariño since I am the only woman who makes you feel so good. can I take you out for dinner tonight?” jenni grinned with a victoriously cocky glint in her eyes at your words from last night as you only smiled and stepped forward so you were chest to chest with the taller girl.

“oh jennifer when will you learn that the things i say when you are holding my orgasm hostage-“ you leaned up even closer, warm breath fanning her lips which never strayed from the widespread grin as she leant in to close the gap.

“-don’t count.” and with one small push to her chest you sent her stumbling backwards out the door which promptly closed in her face.

“so is that a maybe to dinner then?” the older girl called out hopefully, receiving only silence in reply as she huffed and lightly kicked at your door.

glancing to her right jenni deflated further seeing misa, laia and alexia of course only a few feet away all headed downstairs for breakfast.

“do not say it.” the tattooed striker grumbled as misa sent her a knowing smirk and laia looked on in a mixture of amusement and surprise, both girls hurrying to catch up with their friend as alexia hung by your door to yell at hers.

when the rapid knocks sounded you rolled your eyes assuming it was yet another dinner invitation, jenni having spent the morning trying in a variety of different ways to con you into a 'friendly meal'.

"venga jenni i told you that-" you started as you pilled it open, the words dying in your mouth at the blazing hazel eyes which bore back at you.

"oh. hi ale!" you chirped with a charming smile, your best friend humming clearly unimpressed and forcing her way inside, shouldering past you as you sighed and closed the door after her.

"dios mio it smells like sex in here." the blonde scoffed bluntly as you cringed and alexia started to sit on the corner of your bed before noticing the messed up linen and quickly thinking better of it.

though as the older girl went to sit on the arm chair in the corner you subtly shook your head. "aquí?" alexia asked in disbelief as you grimaced lightly, shaking your head again as she went to lean on the desk, recoiling away with a face of disgust.

"everywhere? increíble!" she gasped with wide eyes as you winced, you and jenni having made much use of the variety of different surfaces in the room last night alongside your shared high stamina.

with a guilty smile you gestured to the bathroom as alexia rolled her eyes but none the less you followed her in there, your best friend sitting on the edge of the bath as you pulled yourself up to sit on the vanity counter.

"explain, now." alexia ordered sternly as you sighed, mind racing to try and find a way out of this. "we....caught up?" you tried with a hopeful smile, face falling as alexia's own remained unwavering, lips pursed into a thin line.

"your ex girlfriend just stumbled out of your room before breakfast and it smells in there like a fifteen year old boy who has just discovered porn!" alexia observed as you winced, opening your mouth to explain but the older girl held up a finger and grabbed out her phone.

"ale what are you-" "hola?" a voice mumbled tiredly as alexia clicked speaker phone, the girl on the the end of the line clearly half asleep as you rolled your eyes.

"really? why do we have to involve her!" you groaned as alexia quickly caught your other best friend up on what she'd walked into. "puta furtiva!" mapi gasped now much more awake at the new information.

"you are getting back together with jenni?" mapi asked as alexia raised an eyebrow clearly also wanting to know the answer. "no we are not getting back together!" you answered with a firm shake of your head.

"but you are sleeping with her again?" mapi questioned as again alexia raised an eyebrow making your eyes roll. "it was one time." you lied dismissively as both your best friends somehow hummed in sync making you give alexia a strange look as if she had grown a second head.

"okay it was a few times. its no big deal!" you scoffed dismissively as mapi gasped again and alexia's eyes narrowed. "when did it start?" the girl questioned as mapi echoed the question curiously.

"the world cup." you mumbled, looking down to the floor and whining as alexia suddenly smacked your thigh and fixed you with a glare. "hit her again for me!" mapi piped up on the phone as you kicked the older girl away as alexia leaned over to do just that.

"in my defense i do not remember that time! i was very drunk as we all were that night. i woke up in jenni's bed the next morning and everything else is still a blur." you sighed honestly, rubbing your face tiredly.

"so if you do not want to get back with her then why are you sleeping with her amiga?" alexia asked accusingly.

"well ale. normal human beings have these feelings called needs, and when you have needs it is sometimes more pleasurable to satisfy them with another human being and not by yourself. but i would not expect a robot like you to understand that!" you pouted sarcastically and jerked your knees up to your chest as your best friend scowled and tried to hit you again as the other one cackled on the other end of the phone line.

"adios maría." alexia huffed in annoyance at the assumed betrayal. "hey wait wait no don't-" but the defender was cut off as alexia clicked end call and slid her phone back into her pocket.

"are you mad at me?" you sighed as the blonde stood up from the bath. "no, a little disappointed you did not tell me but you're an adult who can sleep with whoever she likes." alexia shook her head as she stood to her feet.

"but?" you encouraged sensing she wasn't quite finished, your best friends hands falling either side of your face. "but please be careful, i do not want to see you hurt again, sí?" her eyes now shone with concern as you nodded.

"good. i cannot handle the lack of sleep it would take to be on the phone with you all night while you cry and cry and cry over her again." alexia kissed your forehead and let you go.

"hey!" the affectionate gesture distracted you for a moment before her words sunk in and offence followed, a smile curling into her lips as you pulled yourself off the counter and followed her back into your room.

"now por favor clean this up and spray some perfume or something, even the poor hotel staff do not deserve to deal with this." alexia's nose crinkled in disgust as your eyes rolled and you shoved her.

"honestly putellas you are so dramatic."

~

right up until that point you were sure that you didn't want to get back with your ex girlfriend, quite content with the current arrangement you had going on.

but a small freak accident the next day at lunch following training put a lot of things into perspective.

you were so exhausted after a brutal gym session that you hadn't paid enough attention to the food put on your tray, following after alexia to a table and sitting down wedged between her and irene.

near starving you hastily shoveled food into your mouth, ignoring your friends attempts to speak with you much to their amusement as laia, misa and jenni took the other vacant seats at the table.

you'd barely swallowed two mouthfuls of food before something felt funny, and you tried to swallow again but started to panic when you couldn't, your fork dropping to the table with a clatter as you began to wheeze.

"hey hey hey, breathe!" alexia tried to help but you shook your head, your throat starting to swell up as panic set in and you began to make a strange honking noise.

"there's peanuts in this, she has eaten peanuts." jenni was the first to realise right away what was going on, eyes wide in fear as they met alexia's who could only open and close her mouth.

"mierda." jenni hissed, on her feet and sprinting off in seconds as both staff and your team mates all hovered by unsure how to help you as the medical officers arrived and you clawed at your throat, moved to sit on the ground as your face began to go blue.

"move!" jenni ordered sternly, elbowing her way in and dropping to her knees, a bright orange epipen in her hand as she rolled up the hem of your shorts and stabbed it into your thigh, clicking the top as the epinephrine entered your system and started to fight the allergic reaction.

"estarás bien amor, estarás bien." jenni promised softly, pushing your hair out of your face as your hands grabbed hers and squeezed, the swelling starting to ease as someone pushed a bottle of cold water into your hand, jenni snatching it and pressing it against your throat.

the staff now having shooed most of your team mates away as to not crowd you only jenni and alexia remained by your side, your best friend gently rubbing your back as her own body trembled with fear and jenni softly caressed your cheek as your breathing began to even out again.

"okay chicas, some space please." one of the medical staff asked gently as alexia backed up and jenni tried to but you grabbed her hand and shook your head.

"vale, i am right here." the girl promised, helping you up to your feet as your body sagged into hers and both her and the medical staff member guided you out of the cafateria and toward the makeshift medical office, where jenni had ran off to in order to grab the epipen.

helped up and onto a padded med bench you sat back and sipped slowly at some water, your blood pressure tested and a quick check of the back of your throat showing the epinephrine was working as the swelling was near gone.

you were aware of jenni in the room still, talking quietly with one of the medical staff as your eyes remained closed and you sucked on an ice cube, working on evening out your breathing.

"gracias." you managed to wheeze out with a small smile as the staff member stepped out of the room, jenni pulling herself up to sit beside you on the padded bench.

"how did you know?" you croaked out after a few minutes of silence passed between you, turning to look up at her as she smiled. "because i know you. and had i been near you when you were getting food i'd have known not to let you get the noodles because they have traces of peanuts, estúpido!" she teased, gently bumping her shoulder into yours.

"but how did you-" "i still remember. all the foods you can and cannot have, even with just traces." jenni admitted, a slight blush coating her cheeks at the admission as she avoided your eyes.

at that small confession a tidal wave of emotions crashed over you and you sat there in silence trying to process them, jenni not pushing you to speak but staying by your side as she'd promised earlier, though if you asked her to she would leave.

it was then that you realised with her small admission of even just such a simple thing as remembering your allergies, the obvious care from the older girl had forced you to no longer ignore what had been glaringly gnawing at you for months now, you weren't over jenni, not even close.

"jenni." you spoke up as she hummed, turning to look down at you as now you avoided her eyes. "i do not think i can do this anymore. the sleeping together, the sneaking around, i do not think it is a good idea." you forced out, expecting her face to fall but missing the way she paused.

"why?" she asked softly, trying not to get her hopes up as you sighed. "its...too complicated." your answer somehow filled her with even more hope, a hand settling cautiously on your knee but when you made no move to push her away she relaxed a little.

"hey, look at me." you did as she asked, her eyes searching yours for a moment before speaking again. "i still love you cariño, more than i have been willing to admit to myself." jenni confessed, the words terrifying her but knowing no matter the outcome she needed to get them off her chest.

"i know i did not fight for you when we broke up, and i think that will always be my biggest regret." jenni continued, spurred on as your hand gently settled on top of hers which still sat at your knee, a small nod encouraging her further.

"but i think-no i know. i know now that i needed this time to realise that you are what matters, not how other people look at you in a club or what you wear when you go dancing or who is around you when i am not there. i lost sight of what mattered when i let other people take priority in our relationship over you." jenni exhaled shakily, your thumb gently rubbing over her knuckles, frown on your face though not one of judgement.

"i know we live on opposite sides of the world, and there is still a lot of work to mend what was broken but, and perdóname for being so forward, but if i do not say this now then i will not say it. is there a chance for us to...well, be us again?" jenni laid everything down in front of you, not pushing anymore than that as another silence fell between you both.

"i think you are right, there is still a lot of work to be done and it will take a lot of time to get back even close to how we used to be. i do not want to be hurt again and to build that trust back will take time as well." you started softly, jenni nodding along hanging off your every word.

"but i think, i think maybe we could start to get back to the basics. i love you too jenni, actually i do not think i ever really stopped."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and fin! there shall be no part two to this, you can use your imaginations to dream up if they did/didn't get back together. meanwhile i will continue to be an overthinking nervous wreck about taking the jump of posting smut for the first time. will i wake up tomorrow and delete this? maybe, who knows! only time shall tell

[vaspider]

Measure 110, or the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

So if y'all aren't local to Oregon, you may not have heard that the Oregon state legislature just voted to -- essentially -- gut Measure 110, the ballot measure which decriminalized all drug possession and use in the state. It turned all drug use into a citation instead, and the citation and fine could be waived by completing a health screening. The entire point of Measure 110 was replacing jail with health care and services to help people instead, and while I could probably write a very long side post on the imperfections of that approach, it was at the very least a move in the right direction after decades of the pathetic failure and absolutely racist mess that is the "War on Drugs."

You may hear this pointed to in coming years as a reason why we have to just throw people into jail for using drugs, because Measure 110 failed. And like... it did fail, kinda. Sorta. It failed in that it did not manage to fix everything immediately, and it created some new issues while also exposing older issues more sharply.

It also saved the state $40 million in court costs prosecuting low-level drug offenses, kept thousands of people whose literal only crime was putting a substance into the body of a consenting adult (themselves) out of jail, put at least one addiction services center in every county in the state, invested $300 million in addiction services, and an awful lot more. See the end of this post for more reading.

But where it failed, it failed because it wasn't supported. Police and advocacy groups both asked for specific tickets for this new class of offenses which had the phone number to call to go through the health screening and the information about how going through that health screening would make the ticket go away printed on it prominently - lawmakers declined to fund this. Governor Kotek budgeted $50K to train officers on how to handle these new citations and how to direct people to the treatment and housing supports, but lawmakers thought that training officers on this new law at all was a waste of money. Money moved extremely slowly out to the supports that were supposed to come into play to help people obtain treatment or get access to harm-reduction strategies. People freaked the fuck out about clean-needle outreach, fentanyl testing strip distribution, Narcan training, and other harm-reduction strategies.

And at the end of the day, Measure 110 gets called a failure because it wasn't a silver bullet. Never mind that thousands of people are not sitting in jail right now for basically no fucking reason. Never mind that people have gotten treatment, harm has been reduced, overdoses have been prevented...

So, yeah. You'll probably start hearing this trotted out as proof that, well, we triiiied decriminalizing drugs, but look what happened in Portland! Well, what happened in Oregon is that we got set up to fail, and still didn't fail, just didn't totally succeed.

Measure 110 highlights, quoted directly from Prison Policy Initiative:

The Oregon Health Authority reported a 298% increase in people seeking screening for substance use disorders.

More than 370,000 naloxone doses have been distributed since 2022, and community organizations report more than 7,500 opioid overdose reversals since 2020.

Although overdose rates have increased around the country as more fentanyl has entered the drug supply, Oregon’s increase in overdoses has been similar to other states’ and actually less than neighboring Washington’s. A peer-reviewed study comparing overdose rates in Oregon with the rest of the country after the law went into effect found no link between Measure 110 and increased overdose rates.

There is no evidence that drug use rates in Oregon have increased. A cross-sectional survey of people who use drugs across eight counties in Oregon found that most had been using drugs for years; only 1.5% reported having started after Measure 110 went into effect.

There has been no increase in 911 calls in Oregon cities after Measure 110.

Measure 110 saves Oregonians millions. Oregon is expected to save $37 million between 2023-2025 if Measure 110 continues. This is because it costs up to $35,217 to arrest, adjudicate, incarcerate, and supervise a person taken into custody for a drug misdemeanor — and upwards of $60,000 for a felony. In contrast, treatment costs an average of $9,000 per person. The money saved by Measure 110 goes directly to state funding for addiction and recovery services.

There is no evidence that Measure 110 was associated with a rise in crime. In fact, crime in Oregon was 14% lower in 2023 than it was in 2020.

Further reading/sources:

[hamilando]

ੈ✩ just a race habibi (smau) ੈ✩

pairing : f1 grid x fem reader ; lewis hamilton x fem reader

summary : that one race which goes down in history

tw : emotional, fluff, angst

fc: irina shayk

a/n : THIS IS PART2! thank you so much to @amberjazmyn for suggesting this ! lysm 🫶🏻 this ends on a cliff hanger ! and the time span is during the 2020- 2021 grid 🫶🏻

·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ✩ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ✩ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ✩ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ

liked by lewishmailton, user1, charlesleclerc, user2 and 1,839,378 others

ynshayk I do have a knack for fast things 💋ྀིྀི 🏎️

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user1 MOUTH DROPPED

user2 BRAIN SHOCKED

user3 STONE ROCKED

user4 MA'AM HARDLAUNCHED !?!?

user5 visuals !?

user6 even I would sacrifice 8 wdc for a girl like that

user7 SHE IS GOING TO BE WITH HIM FOR THE EIGHT !

user8 this season is going to end with Lewis winning the 8th💪🏻

charlesleclerc great, now I am replaced by lewis in your feed

ynshayk you have Carlos 👏🏻👏🏻

user9 I just want max to stop winning

user10 istg, max can win his first wdc next year, let lewis win this year

lewishamilton damn, guess need to speed up my cardio

ynshayk the gym’s on your way 😚🤓

user11 oh god, she has turned Lewis into a freaky being

user12 wasn’t he always one ?

liked by lewishamilton, carlossainz55 and 1,983,468 others

ynshayk a summer away from vrooms 🌿🍵🍃⛰️

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user1 she knows the emojis right ...?

user2 MA'AM YOUR HUSBAND IS STILL AN ATHELETE

user3 y/n being unfazed about posting drug emojis

user4 she was probably high in weed

user5 or Lewis

user6 or high on weed while on Lewis !?

user7 AYOO 🔫

lewishmailton sweetheart, you surely didn’t mean those emojis ?

ynshayk what? they are green and associate with nature

user8 yn….😊

user9 y/n 🫡

user10 y/n 🫠

liked by lewishamilton, mercedesamgf1 and 2,578,289 others

ynshayk P2 for the history tomorrow 💪🏻

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lewishamilton ❤️

liked by ynshayk

landonorris I am invited to the party yeah ?

ynshayk nope, you are underage landonorris I am 21! ynshayk sure, you have been drinking since you were 16

user1 MA’AM THE POLICE!?

user2 y/n exposing Lando in comments 💪🏻

user3 YALL, LEWIS WILL BE THE 8 TIME WORLD CHAMPION 💪🏻

user4 let’s go lewisssss

user5 GET IN THERE LEWIS

user6 ITS HAMMERTIME LEWISSS

user7 stocking up my champagne 🍾

user8 DU DU DU MAX VERSTAPPEN

mercedesamgf1 we second you on that 😊

ynshayk LESSSGOOO BONO 💪🏻

user9 sitting in the church the whole day

user10 what if max wins ?

liked by user1, user2, user3, user4 and 4,829,379 others

ynshayk a hard day to accept with tears, but I love you my champ, you were, are and always will be the world champ in my eyes 💫🏅

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user1 I really don’t know how to respond

user2 does it mean she thinks max should not have won?

user3 Lewis was the winner! The bloody car !

user4 it was all because of the flag !

user5 Max won it fair and square !

user6 I just know that y/n would be fuming at FIA

user7 I am so glad that she is retired, she would have slammed into max otherwise

user8 LEWIS WE LOVE YOU

user9 y’all really be hating on max

user10 face it, max is the winner, not your Lewis 🫶🏻

user11 I think it’s problematic for her to post the comment online !

user12 ma’am should have kept her views to herself !

user13 So the red bull principal can say Lewis is 8 time champion but not her own girlfriend?

comments on this post has been limited

liked by user1, user2, user3, maxverstappen1 and 782,492 others

f1news BREAKING! Formula One World Champion Max Verstappen was seen fighting with 7-time Formula One World Champion’s Girlfriend, Y/N Shayk.

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the post has been removed due to guideline restrictions

[queen-of-the-avengers]

Right Answer

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.7k

Warnings: none

Summary: What you need is a road trip with your crush, aka your older brother’s best friend, to get your mind off your problems and stress. When he goes to get gas, a woman shows up and starts to flirt with Bucky, causing you to be jealous. How do you show Bucky that you want him without actually telling him that?

Squares Filled: road trip (2020) for @buckybarnesbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are greatly appreciated <3

x

It’s been one of those days. Your brother is out of town with his girlfriend so you have the house to yourself, but you hate being alone. You hear every creak the house makes, you think someone is watching you, and you hate sleeping inside an empty house. He’s only been gone for a week but he still has two more weeks before he’s back from vacation. He made his best friend promise to look after you while he’s gone but he’s been over once since he left.

Not that you minded much. You have a major crush on Bucky but the last thing you’re going to do is tell him that. You’re eight years younger than him and Steve, so you’re afraid all he’ll ever see you as is his best friend’s little sister. You and Bucky have a good relationship since he’s always over to hang with Steve, but you two rarely hang out together. You might have the opportunity now since Steve is gone, but you’re having such a bad day that you’re not sure Bucky will be able to cheer you up.

However, it would be nice to hang with Bucky after the shitty day you’ve had at work. You pace the empty living room silently with your phone in your hand, debating whether or not you should call Bucky. It would be nice to talk about your day with someone. You dial Bucky’s number before you can talk yourself out of it and put the phone to your ear.

He doesn’t let it ring past the second one.

“Hey, Doll,” he drawls.

“Hey. Are you busy?”

“I’m free for you.” Your cheeks heat up and butterflies erupt in your stomach. “What’s up?”

“Do you want to go for a drive? I need out of this house.”

“Are you okay?”

“Not really.”

“I’ll pick you up in twenty minutes.”

Bucky is there in ten. He even shows up with flowers in hand which make the butterflies double in size. After putting them in water, you two get in the sleek black muscle car that he loves so much. He has always wanted a 1970 Chevy Camaro and was only able to get his hands on a convertible. He doesn’t use it much unless you’re in the car with him because he knows how much you love the wind in your hair.

You tie your hair in a low ponytail to keep it down, and he puts the top down before pulling out of your driveway. There are plenty of backroads to avoid traffic which Bucky takes instead of the main highway.

“Alright, what’s going on?” he asks after ten minutes into the drive.

“I think my boss wants to fire me or wants me to quit. He’s been cutting my hours and taking responsibility away from me even though I’m working my ass off for him. I work harder than everyone else and put in more hours than everyone, and he still treats me this way. I don’t want to quit because I finally do something in my field. I’m a good photographer but he either doesn’t see it or doesn’t like me.”

“You’re one of the best photographers I know.”

“I’m the only photographer I know,” you chuckle.

“Still. I’ve seen your work. You’re natural talent. I think I might want pictures of this car.”

This causes you to laugh at the thought of Bucky with pictures of his car hanging on his walls. He doesn’t have a girlfriend to hang so may as well hang his car. Bucky looks over at you and admires the smile on your face. He loves seeing you smile.

“I like seeing you smile.”

Heat spreads across your cheeks and you look away while trying to hide your smile. Stop. He’s your older brother’s best friend. He is nearly a decade older than you. He’s just trying to be nice. Whatever he’s doing is working. It’s getting your mind off your shitty day. Bucky continues to drive for another hour with the wind in your hair and music blasting through the speakers.

“Hey, I have to stop at the gas station.”

“Sure,” you nod.

Bucky pulls into the closest gas station and gets out while you stay seated. You pull out your phone and begin browsing your social media. The gas tank is on your side so Bucky walks around the car and starts filling her up.

“Do you want anything?”

“No, thank you.”

“Yes, you do.”

“Oh, I do?” you chuckle and look up at him.

“Yeah. I know for a fact that you haven’t eaten anything all day so I know you’re hungry. If you don’t get food in you now, you’ll be cranky and wake up with a stomach ache. Now, do you want taquitos or hot dogs?”

What…? How does he know that? The only two things you eat from a gas station are taquitos or hot dogs. The pizza always tastes like cardboard, and you don’t want to dine on junk food all the time.

“Taquitos.”

“Be right back.”

Bucky goes inside the gas station and returns two minutes later with some blue Powerade and three taquitos. The pump is still going so he leans back and crosses his arms while waiting for the gas pump to stop.

“Hey, nice car.”

You look over your phone and see a skinny blonde woman walk up to Bucky with flirty eyes.

“Thanks.”

“Makes sense you would own something like that. Fitting for your type.”

His type? Who the hell does she think she is? She doesn’t know Bucky.

“My type? What type would that be?”

“Gym rat, maybe a motorcycle driver, always wanting to show off what he has, but loyal to the ones he loves. Am I getting close?” she smiles.

“Yeah, you are.”

Bucky shifts his weight to his other foot which you take for him being uncomfortable. He puts his hand on top of the window and since the top is still down, you can easily grab it if you want to. Grab it. Show her that he’s yours. Bucky isn’t yours. He only sees you as a little sister. Suddenly, you’re not so hungry. The little green monster known as jealousy sits on your shoulder even though you have no reason to be jealous. Bucky isn't yours and he would never go for you.

Still, you can’t help but reach up and grab his hand. You don’t have to look at Bucky to know he’s smirking.

“So, look, I’m free this Friday and you’re very cute. Want to do something with me? Get to know each other?” she boldly asks.

You squeeze his hand instinctively and he moves his hands in further to grip your hand more. She hasn’t looked in the car since arriving otherwise she’d see you sitting there.

“Sorry, but I gotta go. My girl’s in the car.”

You take your hand away from Bucky as he turns to the pump that has stopped. The woman finally looks at you but you can’t meet her eyes. She nods and walks off without saying a word, and Bucky gets back behind the wheel. You can’t seem to look at him because not only do you have a bunch of butterflies, but you’re kind of embarrassed. You didn’t mean to take him from what you’re sure was a heartfelt moment but you don’t want to think about Bucky with anyone but you.

Does that make you selfish? Maybe.

He pulls out of the gas station and returns to the back roads to get home. The ride is silent for the first ten minutes before Bucky turns the music down.

“So, are we gonna talk about that?”

“Talk about what?”

“You really playing dumb now?”

“What? That woman clearly wanted in your pants. There’s nothing to talk about it.”

“Oh no, there’s clearly something to talk about.”

Bucky reaches over and grabs your hand before pulling it into his lap. You try to yank it away but he has a strong grip on your hand.

“There’s nothing to talk about. Just take me home.”

“Whatever you say, Doll.”

The rest of the ride is spent in complete silence. As soon as Bucky parks the car in front of your house, you’re bolting out of it. Bucky is quicker than you are so he chases after you to the front of the house. You shove the key inside the lock and twist it, pushing the door open to get inside before he can get to you. Luck is not on your side, unfortunately, and he pushes his way in before you can close the door.

“Where are you going, Doll? We’re talking about this.”

“For the hundredth time, there’s nothing to talk about. She was clearly annoying you. I was just trying to save you.”

Bucky keeps the door open and walks you backward into the wall.

“Nope, you’re going to tell me the truth.”

“What truth is there to tell?”

“You were jealous,” he smirks.

“What?! No, I wasn’t.”

“Wrong answer. You didn’t want me going out with her.”

“No. You can do whatever you want.”

“Wrong answer.” Bucky presses you more into the wall and puts his hand on it right next to your head, caging you in. “I’m gonna ask you one more time. Were you jealous?”

“Please, if the roles were reversed, you would have been fine,” you scoff.

You try to ignore how hard your heart is beating or how sweaty your palms get.

“No, I wouldn’t have. Every guy who touches you, talks to you, or looks at you makes me rage. So, no I wouldn’t have been okay. I would’ve been jealous, and I would’ve been able to tell you that.”

“What?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know. You might be Steve’s little sister but you’re more than that to me. I don’t give just anyone rides in my car, and I hate the top being down but I do it because you love it. So, were you jealous?”

“Yes,” you whisper.

“Right answer,” he smirks.

He closes the distance between you two and kisses you, and he slides his fingers through your hair. This is the moment that changes everything. Everything you’ve ever wanted is right here kissing you, and there’s no way you’re gonna let him go now.

x

Want to be tagged? Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[clawsdevour]

fogged up

wc: 1.9k content warning: smut, post-time skip, established relationship, shower sex, small mention of slapping, oral (m!receiving), reader x kiyoomi sakusa, oneshot, not proofread

note: to be honest. this plot and like little scenario has BEEN simmering in my mind since like 2020 LMFAO i jsut never started writing until this summer..

ꕮ * ׂ.﹑

It was currently 7:33 PM, and the other day you invited your boyfriend, Kiyoomi Sakusa, to sleep over at your place for the night since he’s got volleyball practice near where you resided. He’s supposed to arrive around eight which is usually the time he gets out. 

Twenty-seven minutes.. Good amount of time for an everything shower before he gets here, you thought to yourself. You’re grabbing the cute pjs you saved to wear for the night you invited him over, along with a pair of some lacy panties to add with your sleepwear if things get a bit intimate. 

The cold bathroom air hits your face when you twist open the knob and set your clothes on the marble counter. Turning on the water, as you wait for it to get warmer you start stripping yourself naked before hopping in and closing the glass door. 

You do the usual routine starting with double shampooing, a nice and hydrating hair mask, wash it off before letting your condition sit in your hair. Despite hearing all of the water shooting down onto you and the hitting the tiles, you heard something else from another part of your house. The front door. Someone got into your house. Fuck.. Is this gonna end up like that one movie where that girl dies in the bathroom?? Keep in mind, you lived alone. The door creaked to a close when you heard a heavy thud and footsteps heading towards the noise you created in the bathroom. 

You were just halfway into your everything shower when you saw the doorknob move side to side through the glass walls of your shower. The clunk of your handle slowly twisted the door open, from outside you’re staring at an eye that pierced back at you to which you knew who it was. Oh thank god, It’s just Kiyoomi!! Sighing in relief before you realized you’re completely left exposed, vulnerable and completely wet, trying to hastily cover up with just your hands.

“O-Oh.. I’m sorry” his husky voices mutters out, realizing you’re helpless naked and showering while he slams the door shut in awkwardness, still standing right outside. Both of you were in a bit of shock at the sudden interaction, the tension rose to its high even though you were separated by the door. 

“Wait Omi! Do you… wanna join me? You just got back from practice so you must be feeling really sweaty and gross right now!” peering your head out of the glass door to stare back at the blank wall that’s dividing you two. His head hung back up to ask through the walls if it was okay, to which you obliged. 

He creaks back open a sliver while asking you to excuse him for his intrusion. His tall muscular body walks in, dark eyes wide open, face slightly flushed and tried their hardest to resist seeing your bare figure covered with the sheen layer of water that glistened with every movement.

Kiyoomi brought in his clothing and set it aside next to yours as he began to undress in front of you, to which you watched from the corner of your eye while he strips his articles of clothing one by one. His lean long torso, and toned arms left you salivating. Especially when he slid down his boxers to reveal that he already had an erection that coiled out, a large and tall one at that, leaving you in shock while he’s a bit ashamed.

“I can’t help myself.” He’s standing face to face with you with the glass shower somewhat opened, looking down at you and your perky, shiny breasts. You let out a subtle giggle as you grabbed his hand to lead him in the shower with you. His deep black curls, saturated and drooped down as the water catches onto his thick hair.

Turning around to face the showerhead as you wash out the conditioner that was in your hair for a while, you felt Kiyoomi’s large hands hover around your slick waist. His head, in the crook of your neck planting a soft peck on your jaw. You felt his bare cock press and increase in size along the curve of your ass.

“Did you miss me at practice, Omi?” you could feel his mouth form into a small grin along your neck. He’s gradually sliding his dick up and down on the crevice of your ass, as he nods into you. One of his hands let go from your waist and slide up to your boob, feeling it up and flicking around your nipple as you let out small whines from his cheeky antics.

“How’d you know?” he’s moving his hand up from your nipple to your chin to position you for a kiss on the lips as you gaze back at his eyes that’re filled to the brim with lust and desire. The tapping sounds coming from the water hitting onto you two and the floor made it inaudible when you and Kiyoomi started to full on make out in the shower.

His hand on your waist eventually slid down to your slippery clit, rubbing it in slow sensational circles while you continue to receive his loving, sloppy kisses that enhanced your experience. You were the first to pull away from him to catch your breath while you turned around and kneeled in front of him to face his raging boner. He’s flushed to a rosy pink hue as you started to stroke his cock aggressively since the water made it easier to slide your fingers around his dick.

“Shit.. if you do that, I don’t know what I’m gonna end up doing with you.” His thumb reaches down once more, but to open your mouth while your undivided attention was set on him as he’s toying with your warm tongue that swirls around his calloused digit. When he took out his thumb from your slobbering mouth was when you started going down on his length. 

The warmth your mouth provided him was overwhelming, his hot breathless puffs ringing in the little heated glass room and mixed with the humidity. The amount of slick your cunt produced kept getting washed down by the water, but sucking him off made you feral and crave him even more as you bobbed your head repeatedly on it. His long fingers were buried in your sopping wet hair as he held your head to use your mouth like his own personal flesh toy.

His dick twitched like crazy in your mouth from the unbearable pleasure that he had to pull out before he came in your mouth. But you absolutely refused, you wanted all of his release in your mouth.

“Ha.. you’re kidding me…” he snickered whilst holding eye contact with you, your eyes penetrated his while he pumped his warm gooey cum into your mouth before taking it out while he watched you swallow it all down. Sticking your tongue out to playfully taunt him, he can’t help but snicker at how you just took it all like that down your throat.

“Put it in please, I can’t wait any longer Omi.. it’s been so long since you’ve been back” stepping closer to the glass wall of the shower, your hands spread across the glass that fogged, ass sticking out with the water shimmering as it runs down your back, your head is turnt to peep at him with eyes that begged with sin. 

“You’ll get what you want.” Kiyoomi splashed behind you as he closes in between the gap, his hands gripping your hips to get closer to his. You watch impatiently from behind as he’s lining up his tip with your slick entrance, the water making it a bit slippery before you felt your hole widen as his head presses into you, letting out an immense moan that rippled along the walls. 

“O-Omi..!” Moaning out his name as he starts to thrust his size into you, creating banging sounds that recoiled with the water that hits from above.

The side of your face pressed against the shower to watch him at work drilling into your pussy with all the wet squelching that echoed and mixed with sounds of the downpour. Your tits were pressed against the glass and moved whenever he pounded into you, creating foggy looking silhouettes around you. The shadows and your nipples squished around, as you’re able to watch this all go down in the mirror across from you.

His tightening grip was bruising, but you loved it. You also loved whenever he lands a finishing strike across your ass that stings a bright red on your cheek as if your ass was a volleyball that he spiked. Your whimpers and that lewd look on your face powers him further to fuck you even harder. Whenever you call out for him, he can’t help himself but pick up the pace to pleasure you even further.

Kiyoomi’s watching you get pounded by him in the mirror, enjoying every second of it. His soaking wet hair brushes against your skin whenever he peppers kisses along your back, while he smells the scent of clean soap wash off your body the more he pounds into you.

“You feel so fucking good you know that?” You babble out words that you couldn’t even make out the moment your slurred speech comes out of your mouth. Your hand reaches down for your clit to stimulate you further to get closer to your release which he noticed. Kiyoomi’s quick to grab ahold of your hand and keep it pressed against the glass as he continues to groan into your ear, saying you don’t need to do that when you’ve got him.

“M’not letting you cum alone.” Kiyoomi pauses for a brief moment before taking out his cock from your gaping hole, causing you to whimper from feeling so empty without him being in you.

When you turn around to face him with a slight pout on your face, he picks you up and slams you against the cold glass. Awoken from the mind numbing pleasure, your headspace is in for a slight shock when his slightly swollen lips meet yours for another long kiss as if he were a starved animal.

He’s backing away to slip back in his throbbing cock into your dripping entrance as he’s pressing your back further onto the glass walls of your shower. Kiyoomi’s holding onto you so tight, not letting you go anywhere as he continues to fuck you brainless, feeling all the sensations when your bodies continue to rub up against each other.

His twitching dick and your throbbing cunt, the lust in the atmosphere, the sounds that echo off your wet bodies as the shower runs, Kiyoomi’s almost at his end point. Both of you are sore and stimulated to the max as he releases his white cum into you, coating your plush gummy walls with his white paint. You’re both still, trying to pick back up your unmatched breathing.

“I’m sorry.. I got carried away,” he’s panting while pulling out, kissing your forehead as a gesture to ask for your forgiveness as you continue to cling onto his broad shoulders.

His essence seeps out of you and drips onto the bathroom tiles as it gets washed away due to the warm running water. You’re trying to regain your composure as he continues to hold you in his arms, Kiyoomi’s fingers moving away the stray wet hairs that clung onto your forehead while looking into your starry, but droopy eyes peer back into his while you mumble out an it’s okay. 

“You’re too beautiful” he whispers to you before setting you down to help finish washing you up before bed.

masterlist here

[tswiftupdatess]

4 years ago today, Taylor Swift gave Swifties all around the world a heart attack by surprise announcing her 8th studio album folklore!

The album's on-demand first-day streams were 72 million in the US! 'folklore' sold over 500,000 units, including 400,000 sales, in its first 3 days, becoming the first album to do so since Swift's own 'Lover'. It debuted at #1 on the Billboard 200 and topped it for eight weeks, becoming the longest-reigning number-one album of 2020. Opening with 846,000 units, consisting of 615,000 pure sales and 289.85 million streams, it marked the largest sales and streaming weeks of 2020. Its first-week sales alone were enough to make it the year's best-selling album. It is hailed as her best work and made Taylor Swift the first woman to win Album Of The Year 3 times!

(July 23, 2020)

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Cleantech has an enshittification problem

On July 14, I'm giving the closing keynote for the fifteenth HACKERS ON PLANET EARTH, in QUEENS, NY. Happy Bastille Day! On July 20, I'm appearing in CHICAGO at Exile in Bookville.

EVs won't save the planet. Ultimately, the material bill for billions of individual vehicles and the unavoidable geometry of more cars-more traffic-more roads-greater distances-more cars dictate that the future of our cities and planet requires public transit – lots of it.

But no matter how much public transit we install, there's always going to be some personal vehicles on the road, and not just bikes, ebikes and scooters. Between deliveries, accessibility, and stubbornly low-density regions, there's going to be a lot of cars, vans and trucks on the road for the foreseeable future, and these should be electric.

Beyond that irreducible minimum of personal vehicles, there's the fact that individuals can't install their own public transit system; in places that lack the political will or means to create working transit, EVs are a way for people to significantly reduce their personal emissions.

In policy circles, EV adoption is treated as a logistical and financial issue, so governments have focused on making EVs affordable and increasing the density of charging stations. As an EV owner, I can affirm that affordability and logistics were important concerns when we were shopping for a car.

But there's a third EV problem that is almost entirely off policy radar: enshittification.

An EV is a rolling computer in a fancy case with a squishy person inside of it. While this can sound scary, there are lots of cool implications for this. For example, your EV could download your local power company's tariff schedule and preferentially charge itself when the rates are lowest; they could also coordinate with the utility to reduce charging when loads are peaking. You can start them with your phone. Your repair technician can run extensive remote diagnostics on them and help you solve many problems from the road. New features can be delivered over the air.

That's just for starters, but there's so much more in the future. After all, the signal virtue of a digital computer is its flexibility. The only computer we know how to make is the Turing complete, universal, Von Neumann machine, which can run every valid program. If a feature is computationally tractable – from automated parallel parking to advanced collision prevention – it can run on a car.

The problem is that this digital flexibility presents a moral hazard to EV manufacturers. EVs are designed to make any kind of unauthorized, owner-selected modification into an IP rights violation ("IP" in this case is "any law that lets me control the conduct of my customers or competitors"):

https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/

EVs are also designed so that the manufacturer can unilaterally exert control over them or alter their operation. EVs – even more than conventional vehicles – are designed to be remotely killswitched in order to help manufacturers and dealers pressure people into paying their car notes on time:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon

Manufacturers can reach into your car and change how much of your battery you can access:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/edison-not-tesla/#demon-haunted-world

They can lock your car and have it send its location to a repo man, then greet him by blinking its lights, honking its horn, and pulling out of its parking space:

https://tiremeetsroad.com/2021/03/18/tesla-allegedly-remotely-unlocks-model-3-owners-car-uses-smart-summon-to-help-repo-agent/

And of course, they can detect when you've asked independent mechanic to service your car and then punish you by degrading its functionality:

https://www.repairerdrivennews.com/2024/06/26/two-of-eight-claims-in-tesla-anti-trust-lawsuit-will-move-forward/

This is "twiddling" – unilaterally and irreversibly altering the functionality of a product or service, secure in the knowledge that IP law will prevent anyone from twiddling back by restoring the gadget to a preferred configuration:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/19/twiddler/

The thing is, for an EV, twiddling is the best case scenario. As bad as it is for the company that made your EV to change how it works whenever they feel like picking your pocket, that's infinitely preferable to the manufacturer going bankrupt and bricking your car.

That's what just happened to owners of Fisker EVs, cars that cost $40-70k. Cars are long-term purchases. An EV should last 12-20 years, or even longer if you pay to swap the battery pack. Fisker was founded in 2016 and shipped its first Ocean SUV in 2023. The company is now bankrupt:

https://insideevs.com/news/723669/fisker-inc-bankruptcy-chapter-11-official/

Fisker called its vehicles "software-based cars" and they weren't kidding. Without continuous software updates and server access, those Fisker Ocean SUVs are turning into bricks. What's more, the company designed the car from the ground up to make any kind of independent service and support into a felony, by wrapping the whole thing in overlapping layers of IP. That means that no one can step in with a module that jailbreaks the Fisker and drops in an alternative firmware that will keep the fleet rolling.

This is the third EV risk – not just finance, not just charger infrastructure, but the possibility that any whizzy, cool new EV company will go bust and brick your $70k cleantech investment, irreversibly transforming your car into 5,500 lb worth of e-waste.

This confers a huge advantage onto the big automakers like VW, Kia, Ford, etc. Tesla gets a pass, too, because it achieved critical mass before people started to wise up to the risk of twiddling and bricking. If you're making a serious investment in a product you expect to use for 20 years, are you really gonna buy it from a two-year old startup with six months' capital in the bank?

The incumbency advantage here means that the big automakers won't have any reason to sink a lot of money into R&D, because they won't have to worry about hungry startups with cool new ideas eating their lunches. They can maintain the cozy cartel that has seen cars stagnate for decades, with the majority of "innovation" taking the form of shitty, extractive and ill-starred ideas like touchscreen controls and an accelerator pedal that you have to rent by the month:

https://www.theverge.com/2022/11/23/23474969/mercedes-car-subscription-faster-acceleration-feature-price

Put that way, it's clear that this isn't an EV problem, it's a cleantech problem. Cleantech has all the problems of EVs: it requires a large capital expenditure, it will be "smart," and it is expected to last for decades. That's rooftop solar, heat-pumps, smart thermostat sensor arrays, and home storage batteries.

And just as with EVs, policymakers have focused on infrastructure and affordability without paying any attention to the enshittification risks. Your rooftop solar will likely be controlled via a Solaredge box – a terrible technology that stops working if it can't reach the internet for a protracted period (that's right, your home solar stops working if the grid fails!).

I found this out the hard way during the covid lockdowns, when Solaredge terminated its 3G cellular contract and notified me that I would have to replace the modem in my system or it would stop working. This was at the height of the supply-chain crisis and there was a long waiting list for any replacement modems, with wifi cards (that used your home internet rather than a cellular connection) completely sold out for most of a year.

There are good reasons to connect rooftop solar arrays to the internet – it's not just so that Solaredge can enshittify my service. Solar arrays that coordinate with the grid can make it much easier and safer to manage a grid that was designed for centralized power production and is being retrofitted for distributed generation, one roof at a time.

But when the imperatives of extraction and efficiency go to war, extraction always wins. After all, the Solaredge system is already in place and solar installers are largely ignorant of, and indifferent to, the reasons that a homeowner might want to directly control and monitor their system via local controls that don't roundtrip through the cloud.

Somewhere in the hindbrain of any prospective solar purchaser is the experience with bricked and enshittified "smart" gadgets, and the knowledge that anything they buy from a cool startup with lots of great ideas for improving production, monitoring, and/or costs poses the risk of having your 20 year investment bricked after just a few years – and, thanks to the extractive imperative, no one will be able to step in and restore your ex-solar array to good working order.

I make the majority of my living from books, which means that my pay is very "lumpy" – I get large sums when I publish a book and very little in between. For many years, I've used these payments to make big purchases, rather than financing them over long periods where I can't predict my income. We've used my book payments to put in solar, then an induction stove, then a battery. We used one to buy out the lease on our EV. And just a month ago, we used the money from my upcoming Enshittification book to put in a heat pump (with enough left over to pay for a pair of long-overdue cataract surgeries, scheduled for the fall).

When we started shopping for heat pumps, it was clear that this was a very exciting sector. First of all, heat pumps are kind of magic, so efficient and effective it's almost surreal. But beyond the basic tech – which has been around since the late 1940s – there is a vast ferment of cool digital features coming from exciting and innovative startups.

By nature, I'm the kid of person who likes these digital features. I started out as a computer programmer, and while I haven't written production code since the previous millennium, I've been in and around the tech industry for my whole adult life. But when it came time to buy a heat-pump – an investment that I expected to last for 20 years or more – there was no way I was going to buy one of these cool new digitally enhanced pumps, no matter how much the reviewers loved them. Sure, they'd work well, but it's precisely because I'm so knowledgeable about high tech that I could see that they would fail very, very badly.

You may think EVs are bullshit, and they are – though there will always be room for some personal vehicles, and it's better for people in transit deserts to drive EVs than gas-guzzlers. You may think rooftop solar is a dead-end and be all-in on utility scale solar (I think we need both, especially given the grid-disrupting extreme climate events on our horizon). But there's still a wide range of cleantech – induction tops, heat pumps, smart thermostats – that are capital intensive, have a long duty cycle, and have good reasons to be digitized and networked.

Take home storage batteries: your utility can push its rate card to your battery every time they change their prices, and your battery can use that information to decide when to let your house tap into the grid, and when to switch over to powering your home with the solar you've stored up during the day. This is a very old and proven pattern in tech: the old Fidonet BBS network used a version of this, with each BBS timing its calls to other nodes to coincide with the cheapest long-distance rates, so that messages for distant systems could be passed on:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FidoNet

Cleantech is a very dynamic sector, even if its triumphs are largely unheralded. There's a quiet revolution underway in generation, storage and transmission of renewable power, and a complimentary revolution in power-consumption in vehicles and homes:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/12/s-curve/#anything-that-cant-go-on-forever-eventually-stops

But cleantech is too important to leave to the incumbents, who are addicted to enshittification and planned obsolescence. These giant, financialized firms lack the discipline and culture to make products that have the features – and cost savings – to make them appealing to the very wide range of buyers who must transition as soon as possible, for the sake of the very planet.

It's not enough for our policymakers to focus on financing and infrastructure barriers to cleantech adoption. We also need a policy-level response to enshittification.

Ideally, every cleantech device would be designed so that it was impossible to enshittify – which would also make it impossible to brick:

Based on free software (best), or with source code escrowed with a trustee who must release the code if the company enters administration (distant second-best);

All patents in a royalty-free patent-pool (best); or in a trust that will release them into a royalty-free pool if the company enters administration (distant second-best);

No parts-pairing or other DRM permitted (best); or with parts-pairing utilities available to all parties on a reasonable and non-discriminatory basis (distant second-best);

All diagnostic and error codes in the public domain, with all codes in the clear within the device (best); or with decoding utilities available on demand to all comers on a reasonable and non-discriminatory basis (distant second-best).

There's an obvious business objection to this: it will reduce investment in innovative cleantech because investors will perceive these restrictions as limits on the expected profits of their portfolio companies. It's true: these measures are designed to prevent rent-extraction and other enshittificatory practices by cleantech companies, and to the extent that investors are counting on enshittification rents, this might prevent them from investing.

But that has to be balanced against the way that a general prohibition on enshittificatory practices will inspire consumer confidence in innovative and novel cleantech products, because buyers will know that their investments will be protected over the whole expected lifespan of the product, even if the startup goes bust (nearly every startup goes bust). These measures mean that a company with a cool product will have a much larger customer-base to sell to. Those additional sales more than offset the loss of expected revenue from cheating and screwing your customers by twiddling them to death.

There's also an obvious legal objection to this: creating these policies will require a huge amount of action from Congress and the executive branch, a whole whack of new rules and laws to make them happen, and each will attract court-challenges.

That's also true, though it shouldn't stop us from trying to get legal reforms. As a matter of public policy, it's terrible and fucked up that companies can enshittify the things we buy and leave us with no remedy.

However, we don't have to wait for legal reform to make this work. We can take a shortcut with procurement – the things governments buy with public money. The feds, the states and localities buy a lot of cleantech: for public facilities, for public housing, for public use. Prudent public policy dictates that governments should refuse to buy any tech unless it is designed to be enshittification-resistant.

This is an old and honorable tradition in policymaking. Lincoln insisted that the rifles he bought for the Union Army come with interoperable tooling and ammo, for obvious reasons. No one wants to be the Commander in Chief who shows up on the battlefield and says, "Sorry, boys, war's postponed, our sole supplier decided to stop making ammunition."

By creating a market for enshittification-proof cleantech, governments can ensure that the public always has the option of buying an EV that can't be bricked even if the maker goes bust, a heat-pump whose digital features can be replaced or maintained by a third party of your choosing, a solar controller that coordinates with the grid in ways that serve their owners – not the manufacturers' shareholders.

We're going to have to change a lot to survive the coming years. Sure, there's a lot of scary ways that things can go wrong, but there's plenty about our world that should change, and plenty of ways those changes could be for the better. It's not enough for policymakers to focus on ensuring that we can afford to buy whatever badly thought-through, extractive tech the biggest companies want to foist on us – we also need a focus on making cleantech fit for purpose, truly smart, reliable and resilient.

Support me this summer on the Clarion Write-A-Thon and help raise money for the Clarion Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers' Workshop!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/26/unplanned-obsolescence/#better-micetraps

Image: 臺灣古寫真上色 (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Raid_on_Kagi_City_1945.jpg

Grendelkhan (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ground_mounted_solar_panels.gk.jpg

CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en

[ivorycello]

An Introduction to the Lifesteal SMP - Season 6 Starts on July 6th

The Premise 

Lifesteal is a competitive, PVP based soft-anarchy server, with one core gimmick: In the server, if you kill somebody, you can steal one of their permanent hotbar hearts, with a maximum of twenty hearts. If you drop down to zero hearts, you are banned off of the server, unless another player revives you with an expensive item called a revive beacon.  

One of the biggest draws in the fandom is the incredibly organic improv storytelling that arises from the server, with the competition extending past simple combat. Players clash as they all attempt to enact their own plans, creating moral and emotional conflicts that draw in stream viewers and make the server incredible to follow as events unfold. 

Watching Lifesteal Streams and attempting to have a complete picture of what is going on is very time intensive. Luckily, starting in season five, they do weekly sessions where the most important events usually happen.

How seasons work

Each season runs independently of each other, and the entire world resets when they move to a new season. 

There is no in-universe lore explanation for what happens during a season reset. Some streamers may choose to treat it like they’re playing a different character, but most choose to leave things that happened in previous seasons in the past while still acknowledging it. Knowing what happens in previous seasons may help you understand things more, but is not necessary in the slightest.

Is Lifesteal a roleplay server? Kinda, kinda not. 

Please respect that creators have different levels of interest in rp and are primarily on the server to make youtube videos of a particular niche.

Lifesteal is unscripted, though different players will create and enact elaborate plans with insane amounts of effort, but all of this is with the goal of a genuine, entertaining reaction. 

Most members enter every situation with the primary goal of creating a good video, and their actions often reflect this. Videos are designed to be standalone content. Each video tells a complete story, and doesn't often tie into other videos or arcs. Lifestealers will also twist the narrative in order to create a linear storyline, including changing the order of events, or even just straight up lying. (We’re looking at you, Mapicc.) Due to this, with few exceptions, it is near impossible to gain full context of an arc or event via video alone, as so much context and information will be glanced over or covered up. Streams are a much more reliable way of understanding the full story. 

New and leaving members

The eight new members announced so far for season six are:

Derapchu

Ecorridor

Chiefxd

Kaboodle

Flamefrags

SB737

Hannahxxrose

Manepear

Members who have left over the past season are:

ItzSubz_

Vitalasy

Parrotx2

Rekrap2

Poafa

Midmysticx

Branzycraft

Where to watch Lifesteal

There are a few active streamers and uploaders, who we will introduce below, and there is also a fan-run archive of all Lifestealer vods that you can access here.

The archive runs as far back as 2020, though only becomes mostly reliable around July 2022, when the project started. The archive also has links to every members’ youtube and twitch account, as well as any vod channel they may run themselves!

POV Recommendations Frequent Streamers: If you want a consistent pov to watch, and be able to follow a consistent storyline here are your best choices. PrinceZam: Zam was lifesteal’s most consistent streamer in previous seasons and puts a very large amount of effort into his rp and storytelling. Goes live at random times for long hours. Kaboodle: Kab is a new addition this season, but she consistently puts an incredible amount of effort into rp and storytelling. She streams most days at 7pm EST! ChiefXD: New Member who streams daily at 11am EST. HannahxxRose: New member, frequent streamer, but we don't know how her streaming style will adapt to lifesteal yet. Derapchu: He’s a little bit of a freak. Australian but has a bad sleep schedule so he streams at US friendly times or earlier. Does pretty long streams. Pangi: Has been on hiatus, but usually streams regularly around 2-4 PM EST at an EU friendly time for shorter hours. He typically does sillier, shorter projects. 4CVIT: Frequent streamer when he does stream, but may go inactive for long periods of time. Kinda roleplays, one of the better builders on the server and likes to keep projects secret from chat.

Honorable Mention: Follow these people anyway, they’ll probably go live for big events or random streams. Minutetech: Typically streams large events and sessions Mapicc: Occasionally streams, mostly important events Ashswag: Occasionally streams, mostly important events Jumper: Occasionally streams Bacon: Occasionally streams Woogie: Frequent streamer at the start of the season, but will become less active when college starts again for him Roshambogames: Occasionally Streams, mostly important Events

Youtube: Current Season: Frequent Uploads: Mapicc: Uploads frequently on main and 2nd channel, however he is known for lying a lot in his videos. It’s a little bit funny. Minutetech: Long videos about huge arcs, mostly truthful but may simplify some stuff. Wemmbu: Long videos about huge projects. FlameFrags: Medium length SMP videos. ChiefXD: Has an episodic style, we are not sure how that will change for lifesteal as he is a new member. Jumper: Mix of long form videos and short videos about a variety of topics. Squiddo: Fun, High Effort and Energy videos about a variety of topics. Lots of custom art. SB737: Uploads often but unsure if he will upload Lifesteal.

Do Not Upload as Frequently But Its Good When They Do Planetlord, Roshambogames, Ashswag, Spokeishere, Princezam, Baconnwaffles,     ECorridor, Pentar, Clownpierce

Past Seasons, we linked povs that cover full seasons or large amounts of a season, but other non listed members still have fantastic one off videos about single events or arcs. Link All Videos Playlist (updated infrequently)

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLiRXq4v6FXPn8D15UEAY6oZuPF23-NTG8 Mer S4 Summary Document

Lifesteal Season 4 Directory (public access version) Cog S4 Summary Doc

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1E0Mi2s64to6BzoAJuWHw16lnJpdEdYBXfd62tC7O0jY/edit?usp=sharing Minute S5 Videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6xtt50MzkHWil_vQbgkll9rZTDyfI5k1 Spoke S4: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYmAm1lW6hlgK3WHPORSYeC80PVNUuUcZ All Parrot Videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLu0onnEWPanttCW1zIfh25bQ_b5sBo8_p Clownzy S3 Videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCUTLKqDTev0e1y9Paex97_KP-TpF6QIs

Squiddo S5: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlWJegiCG6X_iKkO-CEd6J9GMAhkzYjVn&si=Kx6lLPLZQeexGdio Baconnwaffles1: https://www.youtube.com/@baconnwaffles1/videos

Princezam S3: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLmPnYnLs0WLoJTEdRpFBMTS21X631LKtu&si=37bk0Gs1haPYOSEd Mapicc, warning. Unreliable Narrator. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsiSq_WYMOAV7HPEqn8QY_981n19u2qO0 Roshambo: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLaa_QQN2V8hZ78ACgXFOGt4tGcfDPTp_B

Stream Etiquette

Do not stream snipe / metagame, which includes sharing or hinting at any info whatsoever, even silly things, about another creators playthrough that the streamer wouldn’t know otherwise, you will get banned in all lifestealers chats. Information revealed via videos is considered fair game.

Do not backseat game or backseat lore Lifesteal Members on Tumblr

Several Lifesteal members have public tumblr accounts they use to varying degrees. Because of this, we use the #Lifesteal Spoilers tag to mark posts they shouldn't see because of metagaming reasons or when we just don’t want them to see it. They’re mostly chill, please just block them if you don’t want to deal with them. hdusa - Princezam lowkeywaffling - Baconnwaffles0 Neverpoor - Ashswag TheRealSquiddo- Squiddo BigPangolinMan - Pangi

Fancontent:

Lifesteal has a big fanartist community and we encourage you to join in!

Duo Name List

Lifesteal Animatics and Edits Wormhole Zine

Minecraft Roleplay Analysis -  Barrier Blocks

[ms-demeanor]

if we're like, showing graphs and stuff, this is the type that i think a lot of people on tumblr are thinking of when they think about the economy.

Only one third of people with family incomes below $50k spent less than their income each month. I would guess that a lot of people on tumblr who get aggro about this topic (and the vast majority of people on r/povertyfinance, who discuss this sort of thing a lot) fall into this earning category.

Real wage increases only matter if you got a raise (one third of workers got a raise last year, which means that 2/3rds didn't - included in the economic wellbeing report linked above). Whether or not rent is outpacing wages only matters if you're not going to be rent burdened (more than a third of renter households are cost burdened in every state and 12 million rental households spend more than half their income on rent). Employment rates lose a lot of meaning when you're working multiple jobs to make ends meet (the percentage of multiply employed workers was falling in the US from 1996 to the 2010s, when it plateaued, then it started rising slightly then collapsed in 2020 and has been rising steeply since then and it's too soon to tell if it's going to go back to the plateau or keep going up).

Four in ten adults in the US is carrying some level of medical debt (even people who are insured) and 60% of people with medical debt have cut back on food, clothes or household items; about 50% of people with medical debt have used up all their savings.

Tumblr is the broke people website and yeah, people who are working two jobs to afford $900 for one room and utilities in a three bedroom apartment are not going to feel great about the economy even if real wages are raising and inflation-adjusted rents are actually pretty stable. "The Rent is too Damn High" has been a meme for 14 years so, like, yeah. Even if it's pretty stable when adjusted for inflation it is stable and HIGH.

It's hard to feel good about the economy when you're spending the last few days of the pay period hoping nothing unexpected hits your account, and it's VERY frustrating to be told that the economy's doing well when you've had to start selling blood to buy groceries.

Sure, unemployment is low, that's neat. It's good that inflation has stabilized (it genuinely has; prices are not likely to fall back to pre-inflation rates and eventually you'll likely be paid enough to reach equilibrium, but a lot of people aren't there yet).

But, like, it costs eight thousand dollars a year out of pocket to keep my spouse alive. I'd guess that we've paid off about a third of the 40-ish thousands of dollars he's racked up since his heart attack. His medical debt is why I don't have a retirement plan beyond "I guess I'll die?" So talking about how good the economy is kind of feels like being chained in the bottom of a pit that is slowly filling with water while people on the surface talk about the fact that the rain is tapering off. Neat! That's good! But I can't really see it from where I'm standing.

Inflation really is getting better. My state just enacted a $20 minimum wage for fast food workers. The Biden administration has worked hard to reduce many kinds of healthcare costs. A lot of people have had significant portions of their student debt cancelled.

But a lot of people are still having trouble affording groceries and it doesn't seem helpful to say "your perception of the economy is decoupled from the reality of the economy" on the "can I get a few dollars for food today?" website.