#he calls off his 'murder murder murder' moments with it surprisingly well tho

[darkwood-sleddog]

teaching fetch to a malamute is truly like....

1.) find the singular toy the dog cares enough to hold in its mouth

2.) that singular toy also happens to make your dog into the grossest feral beast

3.) profit????

[jenosjarofjam]

Now, you're stuck with me forever

Alpha jeno x Omega fem!reader

-Rivals/enemies to lovers

Requested ✔️ @no-romance-for-me-please

Word count: 2k+word.

Warning: smut,abo stuff, a lot I mean a lot of slick, squirting, knotting, cussing, biting/marking, mention of scent, nicknames(princess, good girl, etc...)

An note! This is like my first one shot and abo so hopefully this is not too bad🤞.(I took some prompts idea from Tumblr.)I didn't really dive deep into the rival/enemies part.

Playlist: collide-Justine Skye, Best lover-BiBi

You took the same class with Jeno, both of you were the top 10 students in the whole uni. You vividly remember the first year you met Jeno, Jeno always sat next to you, taunting you when he got higher grades. On the other hand, you studied extra hard because of it, surprisingly Jeno still got a higher grade than you. This went on for months, until the professor decided to pair both of you up for a huge project, now you have no choice but work with him. You guys started texting each other, deadline of the project was approaching, you agreed on letting Jeno into your place to help on the project, another led to another, now he crashes into your place whenever he wants

9:34 a.m

Jeno: Can I come over I’m bored……

Y/n : Since when did you started asking?

Jeno:I’m just trying to be nice rn, I’ll bring you food.

Y/n:awwwwwwwwww are you showing affection to me rn?

Jeno: I want to wrap my hands around your throat, and choke you until the life in your eyes die down.

Y/n: kinky ;)

Jeno: stfu, u freak

Jeno was sitting on the couch, finalising the project while you ate your food. The presence of him was distracting you , you seem to be confused about the reason… but hey no one’s complaining when there’s free food.

You noticed the sun peeking through the curtains, sun ray hitting Jeno’s face, highlighting his features. He’s skin glowed under the sun, his eyes shimmered hazel, his nose- “Hey! Are you even listening to me?Hello? Earth to Y/n?” A voice abrupted your thoughts, you realised you have been unconsciously starring at him, your face blushed in embarrassment about being caught. “Were you starring at me?” He cocked his eyebrow in disbelief, “no- no way why would I be starring at you! You’re.. ugly.” Well that was a lie….. “You’re avoiding eye contac with me? Why’s that?” He grins in enjoyment watching you suffer. “No. NO why would I do that.” “Maybe because you’re into me?” He said poking fun at you. “ wha-what no no no…” “well, you’re looking at me like you want to murder me but also like…you want me.” He smirked, seeing your widened eyes. "*cough* umm I'm gonna go uhh get some water." You said, as you quickly walked to the kitchen. You let out a sigh, feeling like you lost your breathe just the moment before. You felt... feverish, oddly... horny.

You went back talking with Jeno, it still doesn't help the fact that you're thinking about getting pounded by a particular person. The uncomfortable stickiness between your thighs was borderline painful, you tried to ease the pain by crossing your legs...it didn't work. You spaced out looking into Jeno's eyes. "Hey... You should take a rest, you seem tired today," "Yeah..um yeah sorry I'll uh go to my room and get some rest, call me when you need anything." You responded, feeling the awkward tension in the room rise up. Little did you know, your scent was flaring up like crazy, the mix of raspberry jam and cherry blossom was putting off Jeno, the sweet smell of slick was oozing out of your panties, making it awfully hard for Jeno to keep his instincts and not to fuck you senselessly. You scurried off to your room, feeling overwhelmed to the brim. You started researching about random heats, trying to find the reason the sudden neediness. You came across an article about spontaneous heats.

Spontaneous heats-Though rare, there is a phenomenon called Spontaneous Heat, which is when an Omega goes into heat outside of their cycle. The rare cases where it happens include meeting one's perfect match (at which point both heat and rut begin almost immediately)

No way Lee Jeno was destined to be your mate, but you can’t deny he is dreadfully hot, but you definitely didn’t stand a chance to be with him.

All these mix signals are just throwing you over the edge.In spite of that, all you should be worrying right now is about the fact that you’re craving the feeling of Jeno’s dick sliding in and out of you.

You had to find a way to relief the pain, ignoring the fact Jeno is probably outside your room playing video games, you slipped your hand under your panties, stimulating your clit. You bite down on your pillow, trying to muffle your moans.

Jeno was standing outside your room, the scent of a sweet aroma slipping through the door crack is driving him insane. The sound of muffled moans , made it obvious you were touching yourself. The thought of marking you, letting everyone know you’re his. The desire to breed you, filling up your pussy with his cum. How pretty you’ll look when he fucks you until you’re senseless . He feels his body burning, blood rushing to his cock, he couldn’t get you off his mind the entire day, he was just craving to fuck you all day long . Jeno couldn’t hold it anymore, he knew damn way he wanted you, all the pretending was driving him mad.

As you were approaching your high, you closed your eyes and focused on the climax. Yougot so lost in the pleasure, you didn’t even notice that someone was standing in front of your doorway.

"Always so needy for me, having fun without me huh?" You quickly cover yourself, your face burned up in embarrassment, you stared at Jeno and his very prominent erection, the size of his bulge was huge , the sheer thought of it already makes you mouth water, you wondered how it’ll feel in your hand,or even in your tight pussy. “What you looking at?” Jeno interrupts your line of thoughts, but it doesn’t make it better. He's low raspy voice sends chills down your spine. He slowly walks to your bed, kneeling down and staring into your doe-eyes, you quickly turned your head away from his stare, he quickly leans closer, closer to the point you feel his breathe against yours " I asked you y/n, what are you looking at?”. Jeno realises how stupid this is, and pulls away, before you pull him by the collar, his lips crashes into yours, the hunger you both crave for each other is finally getting satisfied, his hands naturally went around your waist as he pulls you closer, goosebumps swarming every part of your body. He pulls away "do you want me to stop?” he asked, trying to reassure you wanted this. You hurriedly answered, longing for more “just the opposite, please” He pushes you on to the bed, now you’re under him.

“Submit yourself,” he demanded, “jeno-” “What did you call me?” he abruptly shouted, making you jolt from the unexpected behaviour. “I’m sorry, al-alpha.” he slowly pulled down your flimsy shorts along with your pink panties, the cold hands made you squirm away from his touch. He quickly put his hands on your hips and pull you in, “Let me take care of you, let me make you feel good, let me make you mine,” he whispers into your ears before he forcefully lifts your head up, now you’re staring at him. He’s eyes filled with lust, the dark orbs felt like they were burning holes in yours. He takes off his shirt, his toned abs, arms bulging with veins, looks just like a wet dream in sight. He spreads your legs further apart, slotting his head between your legs. He started licking your hole, not letting a single drop of slick going to waste, before adding two fingers into your leaking hole, slick dripping to his chin, his nose bumping onto your clit adding the extra sensation, making you moan like crazy. “Fuck, you taste so sweet, taste like mine,”he mumbled, the sound of slurping echoes in your ear, your hand naturally find its way down to his head, you grip firmly on his hair, tugging it slightly letting him know your getting close to your climax. The high he brought you was like shockswaves crashing into you, you arch your back gripping harder onto his hair, you let a breathy gasp as you came all over his face.

“I’m not done with you, yet." His eyes darkened as you reached your hands towards him, freeing his cock out of his confinement, it spring out hitting his abdomen. It was huge, far from the ones you've taken before. He slowly lift your legs up, pushing the tip in you, the stretch was painfully good, you unconsciously clenched around him making him groan, your slick coating his dick making it easier for him to fit. He gave you time to adjust to his length then he slowly thrusted into you. “Fuck- take it like a good omega that you are.” The new feeling of adrenaline came rushing in, your eyes rolled back when he hit the spot that made you see stars. He lets out a low breathy grunt , your creamy velvety walls sucking him in deeper, the tight fit making you feel every inch of him, every single veins dragging in and out of your pussy. He started thrusting in a merciless rhythm, he grabbed your jaw and kissed you roughly, his tongue swirled against yours, the passionate kiss turned into a messy make-out session. His warm lips taking over you, pussy gushing over his dick. "Alpha, I'm close-" you choked out "please, fill me up please.", you feel like time slowed, each thrust felt so sensitive, so good, you feel your vision blurring, the knot in your stomach snapped, you let a long lewd moan as you cum on Jeno's dick. Jeno kept thrusting, ignoring your whines. "Hmm, too much?? Too much for my omega? You were begging for it, you were begging me to fill you up right?? Good girl's keep their promises baby." The sensitivity was too much, you feel your eyes tearing up, you kept clenching on his girth, forming a creamy white ring around the base of his cock.

Jeno used his strength and flip you around, his big hands holding onto your hips, “ass up princess.” You obeyed, feeling a sharp slap on your butt, he swify pushes back in with a one quick thrust. "Plea-se knot- in me al-pha, please, wanna be full of your pups." You pleaded, the thought of being by each other's side everyday, carrying his child, was the best fucking dream ever. "Fuck- You want me to knock you up- huh? Such a slut, such a slut for me. Fuck I'm cumming." He grunted. Jeno grabbed your hair pulling it aside, exposing your bare neck and collarbones, Jeno put his nose on your neck, inhaling your sweet aroma. "Can I mark you- princess, wanna make you mine-" He asked, waiting to get a permission to forever mark you his. "Mark me please, alpha mark me!" Jeno licked the side of your neck, and bit down on it, he licked the blood that was oozing out of the mark. You screamed in pain, but the idea of being his was enough for you to bare the pain. Jeno kept thrusting in you, you feel like your were about to pass out, a new feeling rushed in, not like your typical orgasm. Your now breathy moans echoed the room along with the slapping sound of the skin, you screamed in pleasure as you squirted all over his abs. "S-shit , that was so hot, I'm so close princess." He growled, liquid dripping down your thighs. His thrusts became more sloppy, the raspy low grunts was starting to become smoky moans. You feel his dick twitched in you. He held you closer, gripping onto you harder. With a final push, his knot inflamed, hot white cum covering your walls, you whimpered from the knot's pain. The feeling was way too addictive that you can barely feel the pain now. Jeno lays on you for a few seconds, you can feel his warm breathe against your neck. It took a few seconds for him to recover from his orgasm, he finally broke the silence

"How are you feeling?" He asked genuinely, "Tired and confused...I thought you never liked me..." "Idiot, why would I not like you." "No shit Sherlock, you acted like you hated my guts." You argued

"Well now you're stuck with me forever."

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝔸𝕥𝕥𝕒𝕔𝕜! ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ anon request: Hi, I hope you're having a good day/afternoon/night :) I'd like to ask you for some platonic headcanons (although if it's not your style it's okay to ignore it) about the demons in obey me and how they would react if MC saves them from a surprise attack by a demon hunter (whether she ends up very injured or not I leave it to your choice 😉)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Hello! I love this idea honestly. But I take up to 8 characters and there's total of 9 demons in OM! that I write for so I removed Lucifer and did the other demons because they're getting too little love </3 Hope you won't mind this little change and still like it!

Also I really hope I did platonic for everyone- I might've got ahead of myself and automatically did fluff for some so... lemme know if that happened!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ platonic, TW: mentions of reader dying, small descriptions of cutting/sword swinging

✧ the moment news about demon hunter going around Devildom spread, you were paranoid and the weight of calming you down landed on Mammon

✧ your age didn't matter, he'd take you to casino to relax. Or... he'd want to... if you're too young for it Lucifer or security would definitely kick his ass for trying to do that

✧ luckily tho, he wasn't worried about you since the demon hunter obviously hunts just demons, even he knows that!

"Don't ya worry, human! I'm called THE Great Mammon for a reason!"

✧ but the moment he crosses patches with one... he's actually more concerned about you than himself

✧ he's gonna step in front of you, assuring you it's alright while it's actually him who's considering if it'll be better to fight or run away

✧ and the moment YOU save HIM is like a hit to him... I mean, he was supposed to protect you, not the other way around! But you'll still catch him blushing from emberassment as he mutters small thank you. Bur you better listen because he's not repeating it!

✧ that's if you wint end up dead... if you do, he actually breaks into tears when he realizes he lost someone important again...

✧ the demon hunter might not be here anymore but even then, he makes a promise to your empty eyes

"I'll make them pay... for doing this to you... I'll be the one protecting you this time. I won't fail for the 3rd time."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

✧ Levi would be just as if not more scared than you

✧ he's already isolating, what made you thought he'd even consider going out in such a circumstances? Well... you would...

✧ after solid 6 months, even you calmed down and figured that demon hunter must've calmed down so you thought you might as well go game shopping with the third brother!

"Uh... seriously? What if that demon hunter is walking around? No, don't go alone!! Alright I'm coming..."

✧ but as he imagined, 6 months were definitely not enough to calm down... because just before you entered the game shop, you had to be push Levi aside or he'd get hurt

✧ if you didn't got hurt badly, he'll definitely first talk them off but he will summon Lotan without hesitation if they decide to make second attempt

✧ but if you did got hurt badly... he summons Lotan immidietly, not caring about consequences, he just wants them gone after seeing you in this state

✧ but surprisingly you didn't even felt a single drop on you, he was ready to destroy all the buildings in this city but made sure you won't be anymore hurt

"Y/N please tell me you're alright... and that I didn't hurt you more... c'mon they're gone now, let's go back home, this store had nothing that catched my eye anwyay..."

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✧ Satan was the wise one here, like usual. He figured news must be playing jokes or that the problem will pass soon enough, so after 2 months, after news completely calmed down, he tried calming you down as well

"Remind me, for how long this 'demon hunter' had been quiet? 2 months, exactly. No murders, no signs, just quiet. You're being paranoid, Y/N."

✧ he eventually had enough and took you out by force to show you no one's scared anymore and it's just you

✧ but as he was dragging you along, focused on not bursting with anger from your whining, he didn't notice the swing which you took

✧ it definitely left a bruise on you, but let's assume it didn't kill you! He'd still be pissed, the moment he sees blood on you, he's already in his demon form ready to hunt down anyone who did this to you

✧ and if you're actually dying? He'd make sure to remember their facial characteristics, he want to run and get vengeance but he also knows you're close to death and need help QUICK

✧ but in the end, he can't save you... he becomes even more angry on daily basis and will hunt down anyone who looks at least a little similar to that demon hunter, he didn't care if it wasn't them, he can't risk not trying

"I'll make you pay... I won't kill you once, but 100 of times, so you can feel what you did to them."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@miya-akane - come get your cat lover!

✧ let's be honest, both you and Asmo were absolutely terrified at the news of demon hunter going all around Devildom

✧ you can't count how many nights you two spend together and how many times he complained to you that he's running out of his beauty products but doesn't dare to go out alone

"I can't go alone!! Y/N c'mon... I'll buy you something too!"

✧ it wasn't helping your worries but you really had enough of his whining... so you figured one hour in the city shouldn't hurt! I mean, what's the chance demon hunter will appear in this exact city at this exact hour?

✧ well this hour apparently was enough... you didn't even had good luck around when you noticed something shining as Asmo was still rambling... you quickly realized it was a sword and without second thought, pushed him away

✧ at first, he was a bit upset because you pushed him on dirty wall, ruining his outfit but upon realizing WHY you did that, his emotions shifted on the person who caused it in the first place

✧ seeing the cut on you made him absolutely furious, and believe him, he wanted to fight. But whether the cut is deadly or not, he'll rush back home with you

"Ugh! They're the real demon here! Hang on Y/N... I will not let you end like this."

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@vodka-glrl - come get your pretty princess~

✧ Beel was actually quite cautious but still confident in his skills, always assuring you he can manage even if he gets attacked

✧ but you still insisted on going with him anytime he goes out, so that's how it also was today

✧ and he's actually more careful when he's walking with you so that's actually good for you both

"We should get something to eat while we're at it... I'm not this focused on my surroudnings when I'm hungry..."

✧ it was just the moment when Beel's stomach was growling that the demon hunter striked before he knew it. And before demon hunter knew it, you got in front of ginger demon

✧ it won't be a lie when I say his heart stopped for a second when he saw a sword making an injury on you, he even threw his food away just so he could fight the one who did that!

✧ believe him, that demon hunter tasted better than the food

✧ now, you injury doesn't matter, injury is still very risky for humans, he'll just be more worried if it's deadly one

✧ he's definitely not leaving your side, be it when you're alive or a ghost, he promised himself to always have an eye on you

"Hey... I brought your favorite snack... I thought we could... eat together or... appreciate it... however it wouldn't sound..."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

✧ Belphie is kinda simoliar to his third brother with it... why go outside and risk your life when you can sleep?

✧ you literally don't have to worry about him because he not only sleeps through whole days but also keeps you trapped so you can't go in the city, the only source of news for you is tv and media

✧ so when you heard cafe's are opening again as Devildom have calmed down... you thought it could be nice to go back to your dates!

"Uhh... it's so early... didn't that demon hunter just kill someone 2 days ago? ... Maybe 2 months, same thing... let's sleep together, it can also be a nice date..."

✧ you'll literally have to force him to go outside, not because he's scared but because he's lazy, and looking at how it ended... he'd actually prefer if he was stubborn enough to pin you to bed and not go out...

✧ because when you went outside, he just saw blade in one second and your injury in another

✧ no matter of your injury is deadly or not, he'll throw his fists at the one who caused it

✧ he's having flashbacks now and trust me, he'll go all the way out, especially with deadly injury

✧ he looks so scary and ready to kill, but once you're alone, he breaks...

"I'm so sorry... I'll save you in another life, I promise... Believe me, I or anyone won't hurt you once..."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@miya-akane - come get your sleepyhead~

✧ Diavolo just wanted to see human world, he didn't expect there was still something like 'demon hunters'. And even if, he made sure to disguise as human well!

"Well isn't that nice... You certainly have quite a culture! What do you recommend we visit?"

✧ apparently tho, it wasn't good enough because in one second he was sharing a donut with you and enjoying the time, and in another he saw you getting in front of him we someone swinged their sword right through your stomach

✧ if you didn't end with deadly cut and more of a warning one, he'd manage the situation, it was just the attack from surprise that caught him off guard

✧ he chooses to try persuading them first but if that won't work, he'll only break their weapon and eventually knock them down, not wanting to cause too much damage

✧ poor boy will be like a puppy following you around because he feels guilty for this whole situation

✧ but if you did end up with deadly cut... he feels like he failed. Failed as your partner

"I'll do better from now on... I promise."

✧ his heart was telling him to get vengeance but his mind was telling him to wait... so with small sadness he tried persuading this demon hunter to give it up but when it obviously doesn't work, he will 'accidentally' finish their life

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

✧ you decided to accompany Barbatos with his tea shopping in human world, thinking it could be nice to spend some time together and learn a thing or two about tea

"Now we'll be heading there. I know it seems like shady place but believe me, it's actually the opposite. It'll be best if you see for yourself."

✧ but he for one had a bad feeling about it... he tried keeping his guard up but in one moment, when he was checking what's tea made of, he let his guard down...

✧ he just heard you bumping into his back, making him turn around, realizing he was lost in his thoughts for a little while

✧ he'll be so relieved when he sees you with just a little scratch and makes sure to scare the demon hunter you're dealing with, be it with his appearance or be throwing them into wall, it all depends how cooperative they'll be

✧ but if you ended up with no chance of living, he wouldn't care to scare them off and would rather immidietly end them, apologizing while reporting to his lord for what he did

"How can someone so careless even call themselves a good butler... Eh... maybe I could mess with time again... just a little bit..."

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[slashers-sister]

(This is something that happened, so I'm making a story, just imagine phones exist back then for the sake of this story)

Imagine you are on your phone on Pinterest, you found it fun, why?

Organizing, making cute and or deranged unsettling (Possibly ones about cannibalism people think are "AeStHeTiC!1! 😍🤪", you always did question which ones where and weren't actual cannibals..) moodboards.

Look, ya are quite lonely, and your brothers aren't always fun.

Actually you're in the barn hiding from your chores at the moment. You really didn't want to clean up all those knives :(

You like to keep random things, your room is FULL of stuff you've found around the farm. You got a lot of your personality from the twins, and Bubba. You spent most of your time with them.

..or stuff you've taken but that's besides the point!

You had bottles from 1947, your oldest glass bottle is from 1937! You also have old pins, which you and your brother Chop-Top do have a rivalry over who has the coolest.. Nubbins is the mediator, saying usually something along the lines of "Ya both tied, they are both equally cool." In reality he just can't choose who he likes more sometimes

You were on your phone, you heard Drayton calling. Oh no. You put it on a hay bale and immediately jump down from the hayloft. It's.. big but you fuck around and find out too often and have quite a high pain and heat tolerance.

"(Insert your full legal name), Get yer ass out here!"

To say your stomach filled with fear was definitely.. an understatement.

What did you do to piss off Drayton now? No idea but you went to go see what he needed. Hoping you weren't in for a beating on the head or back, why? He didn't whip you, he smacked your back so hard with a broom you heard a CRUNCH. Yes, you were fine. Well mostly, definitely traumatized a wee bit.

——————————————————————————

Meanwhile, guess who also had chores in the barn! The twins!

Guess who didn't lock, sign out, and brick their phone? You!!

Immediately they are nosey. What's their precious little-

..They didn't find porn, or anything like that.

Nah they just found the Spotify account, the notepad, which you definitely had a few issues. Specifically anger issues, you had some notepads you had to take 5 minutes to scroll through bottom too.

Your Pinterest was full of weird stuff. Odd animal pictures that look weirdly funny and distorted? Funny lil cannibalism boards, memes, a mountain of memes because you are either chronically yeehaw or chronically online, take that as you will.

They found a few moodboards about them, about our(? Your? Their? Ya get the point) Brother Drayton. Honestly it matched his personality.

Bubba's was cute and full of taxidermied roadkill, you had made both of theirs earlier, and rearranged it perfectly.

Then they found theirs.

When Nubbins saw it, you even had a picture of his knife and camera almost exactly, how cool!

You had Chop-Top's favorite band, maybe you do listen!

Then Chop-Top started hysterically laughing.

"W-w-what? What's s-so funny?"

Chop-Top gladly pointed it out.

Nubbins couldn't tell if he should laugh, cry, be offended, or plot your murder.

Meanwhile Chop-Top is dying (almost literally) of laughter. "That is the funniest shit I've ever seen her do, that takes the meat!" (You guys often don't say "take the cake", but "take the meat" as a joke.)

Fun fact, nobody actually went to school.. you guys were all homeschooled by big bro dray.

Chop-Top calmed his twin down after a while, still looking through the board, you had found many things you thought they would, it did like. You got almost everything right.

They are definitely plotting how they both can get you back tho.

——————————————————————————

No, Drayton wasn't too pissed off. You just forgot to tell him where you were, and scared the ever-loving shit out of this poor man.

Once you got back to the barn, you climbed to the hayloft.. and noticed your phone was moved. You immediately went through it, but surprisingly nothing was out of the ordinary.. except your notepad had a new note.

"you'll end up worse<3"

Cheeky little bi-

You silently live in fear waiting for what prank they'll do next :(

[castle-dominion]

c3x7 almost famous

I’ve actually seen this one before! It was recorded on TV but I didn’t know it was season 3. This was one of the first ones I’d seen. 

nypd open up ; )

Too many pickles

Me: joining in on the vocal warmups RC: I had a dream I was floating on a lily pad & the swedish bikini team was whispering positive reviews of naked heat  MR: Oh that must have been lovely RC: Yeah... MR: Why are you telling us this RC: Well because of you my swedish paradise turned into a wailing cat shelter

MR: Besides, we’ll all have plenty of time to sleep when we’re dead. *phone rings for a murder* (probably won’t clip)

Alexis’s voice sounds like she’s going thru puberty or smth

RC: Maybe he’s old-school, didn’t want to give up the badge he’d made his career on? LP: Castle he’s mid 20s KB: [the gun is] fake! RC: *taps end & sniffs* that’s tequila *licks finger* that’s cheap tequila

LP: *rips open the guy’s pants* RC: *covers the view* man has a car?

RC: *runs over* shotgun KB: Castle you’re the only one here RC: Ugh this place reminds me of my first dorm room (I don’t think I’ll clip that)

They don’t have a warrant to come in tho

wow Wow WOW

RC: Ladies, I am not a stripper, though I understand how you can make that mistake

Poor gal, puking into their garbage bin. Poor esposito I didn’t know throwing up made him nauseous. (TRIVIA FOR THE SHOW) & the other detective back there too (won’t clip...) she’s still wearing the ring too Y’all tie back her hair. I’ve never had hair that long & now listen I have a mohawk but even I know that u need to tie back long hair if you’re vomiting

Aw castle, getting em coffee, I love him RC: It might interest you to know I’m an assistant volunteer homicide detective myself : ) Oh my goodness this is a great episode, plenty of witnesses but all too drunk to remember.  Ryan, always the phone sim camera record guy. 

JE: They’re treating him like a piece of meat RC: it’s ok, *pats him on the shoulder* Me: It’s his job & also I’ve heard the way YOU talk esposito.  Kathleen: It’s what he’s paid for

K but castle’s laughs & ryan’s face

Girl it’s a digital zoom, not enhancing.  (& why do you need to tap the keyboard? all u need to do is hit ctrl & zoom)

(I still can’t get over how he’s called officer mcnaughty)

SHE HAD TO WAITRESS WHILE HUNGOVER? or maybe she gets a discount there & wasn’t scheduled for work that day

KR: Mostly just of movie posters & a bunch of donald trump books about finance B’y this show is in 2010

Lol “looking up”

Weird timing. KB: You guys head off *ryan looks to esposito in confusion* mucho men *ryan mouths mucho men barely after beckett says it* that’s the place that booked him. Bud he would be saying that a moment later. Not before beckett even said “mucho men”

RC: He’s not even that handsome. 300 bucks an hour? Little steep. LP: As the one person in this room who has seen everything under the sheet? BARGAIN.

RC: Some women want officer mcnaughty, others want an older man with mutual funds. You know, daddy issues. It’s times like this I’m glad my relationship with my dad is actually surprisingly good & I’m queer. 

LS: Sorry, promoters are up my ass.  JE: Lloyd Sanders? LS: I’m already up to my ears in a-rods, *esposito looks at himself* but your friend here, I got women requesting that skinny twilight dude like crazy *Ryan now looks at himself* (Bro ryan isn’t even that skinny, he just looks skinny next to esposito who has muscle like a brickshithouse) LS, tossing a pair of underwear to Ryan: One size fits all. *ryan looks at the underwear trying to figure out what it is* Bathroom’s down the hall if you’re shy.  KR: :| >:| JE: NYPD KR: I can assure you, these would fit LS: That’s what they all say the package store XD (after the interview) KR: Thank you for your time. LS: Hey if you change your mind I can provide you with fangs & some hair gel KR: a??? JE: *just offended*

(Remember in a few seasons when ryan gets a job at men-hattan? as a security guard? Yeah anyway)

KR: Casually mentions twilight to make esposito jealous

KB: Well there’s only one way to find out. *singsong* Oh castle!

(I’m glad my gay older brother is not here) Except ryan & esposito DID NOT call not-it! (she brought him here!) Castle caught the frickin pants

Ooh this is going to be a good scene. Ryan making coffee, esposito taking off his long-sleeved collared sweater in the background. Ryan adding a bit of sugar to their coffees, esposito working out, speaking of which I should do my pushups today. Ryan turns around with an “aight here you go” but stops short when he sees esposito just doing dips on a chair. (Bestie you have a gym upstairs.) JR: Up to his ears in a-rods? I got an a-rod for that SOB. Three years Varsity Ball (talented sports team), *ryan lowkey checking him out,* two years Special Forces triathlon (military marathon), & NYPD calendar 2007. KR: *Looking up into the corner* JE: What? >:( KR: It was a group photo JE: I got letters KR: Yeah, three, two of them from your mom JE: One of them was from my mom KR: Sure JE, politely taking coffee: twilight my ass (clipping)

castle surrounded by women & not liking it? Wow. “Hey honey you found me!”

You know good for them. Firefighters are better than cops for sure. & it’s also a dance! Not just body, but entertainment!

Interesting, the deleted scene & the “woah woah whoa murder?” must be in a different order than initiall7 expected. Well no the deleted scene is similar to this but it’s just a different take. Different take, not deleted scene. 

Castle & his books KR: Did you go home & watch sunset boulevard before your trip to the package store? (esposito isn’t fed up with him this time)

I love martha.

This attorney is weird... 

KB: Ryan can you pull up derek’s acting reel? KR: Man, once was bad enough

Ryan is starting to wear vests & ties more, ties for sure. His colours are still dark tho. I like the evolution of their styles. Esposito just had a long sleeved sweater like thing over his t-shirt, now he is wearing a weird shirt with a lot of panels & a tie & i rly like it. 

Esposito had gang task force days. At least we’re getting backstory this episode. Sports, special forces, & gang task force.  (that’s probably how he knew detective slaughter...? & his interactions with Racine when he was with Ike probably)

Ooh I like the look of them (& I like beckett’s & castle’s outfits)

You know what good on her, & pookiebear that’s honestly kinda cute but a hilariously fake buttslap sound.

Castle you watch way too many infomercials. (He has probably seen Sticky Buddy & the OmniTool+)

KR: IDK how you missed that *slaps the receipt into esposito’s chest with another hilariously fake buttslap sound*

I KNEW I REMEMBERED THE NAME JESSE MANDALAY

Ooh fake identity!!!

Poor gal. Louve he’r idenidy.  Poor guy contractor man...

KB: Do you have any brochures? I’m looking for a place. Mine blew up. My mom told me that tick tick tick was the last episode & I believed her because we only had four episodes of Castle & I thought it was as short-running show that went out with a bang. Then I saw this episode & made some assumptions. But I still hadn’t seen boom, the sequel episode so I wasn’t sure how beckett survived. The part that gets me is that this was halfway through season two & now it is season three. It has been an entire summer, where has beckett been staying? With her dad probably?

I like how sometimes ryan is wearing a soft, dress sweater, sometimes a funny little patterned shirt with a tie, sometimes a normal dress shirt tie & suit jacket (with a coat as well if he needs it), & sometimes a suit with a vest. I love a good waistcoat. Look at him. Every episode I can’t help but notice how pretty he is. I also notice everyone else & their costume choices are very good & purposefully made.

I knew the lawyer was sus. 

This man is already a lawyer you’re never going to get him all the way.

I like how martha calls herself an actress but also an actor & refers to the concept “actor” with he/him pronouns. It gives her bigender or genderfluid vibes even tho it really doesn’t. 

Always!

Rick is such a dad. He loves his daughter so much & no matter how childish or grossly adult he acts, when he is around his daughter he is full of love.  Also the little feeding the birds with her uwu.

(ok got all my clips)

[cdroloisms]

Dream tried to stop Wil from creating L'Manburg, Phil tried to stop him from blowing it up, BOTH value people over items and builds, Phil has said that they're replaceable but people aren't, Dream traded spirit for his best friends fishes (we kno he's not someone to talk abt feelings:[) BOTH were kind and selfless but used by almost if not everyone, BOTH were ready to be THE VILLAINS if it meant everyone else could live better after. ONE of them always had someone there, ONE didn't. Intentional?

aaaa sorry for the really inconsistent posts ,, im gonna try to post a little more in the next few days. i have a few things written up, so look out for them? maybe? for now, have this *gestures vaguely* thing ,, it’s kinda a mess but *shrug*

phil is such a fun character, anon, especially for all the reasons that you mentioned in the ask!! he’s a really fun character with a lot of complexities that go (sadly) overlooked by a large portion of the fandom, but he’s super cool even tho i havent analyzed him too much. hope you enjoy (and i hope my interpretation of c!phil isnt too ooc lmao) 

tw: mentioned blood, injury, implied torture/abuse, starvation, trauma, mentioned death, prison arc/pandora’s vault

When Techno first brings Dream back from the prison, Phil doesn’t quite know what to think.

“I don’t trust him either,” Techno assures him, but there’s a flickering anger in the backs of his eyes, one that had emerged ever since he came back from the prison with the other man in his arms, and Phil knows his friend well enough to know that the words are empty in the face of the piglin hybrid’s particular brand of to-the-death loyalty. He shakes his head in reply, refusing to voice his thoughts for Techno’s sake, at least, but the look that the other slants at him suggests that he’s caught onto them all the same.

At first, the work is thankfully mindless; even if Phil has reservations on the man that Techno has more or less dumped into his house, he would hardly wish the clear suffering he’s been through on anyone. The first few days pass in a flurry of brewing potions, wrapping and rewrapping dressings, stitching up cuts and setting broken bones straight. The damage is extensive; Phil has to take more than a few breaks to just leave the house and breathe - he’s far from a stranger to blood and carnage, had received the title of ‘Angel of Death’ for a reason, but even he had never been particularly familiar with this form of cruelty. Torture was a level of violence that extended beyond what even he was willing to bestow - his hands may have caused many deaths, and the weight of each one would continue to haunt him for the rest of his life, but even those had the mercy of being a quick end. The wounds and scars that ripple over Dream’s skin, thin and stretched tightly over his bones with little muscle and fat left to cushion them, speak of horrors that were anything but merciful.

“I didn’t know they were capable of all of this,” Techno says, once, as they huddle of Dream, wringing towels in cold water to wipe his feverish skin. Techno’s hand reaches for the ribboning gold-filled scars that remain from the execution - carefully, Phil raises his hand to let his fingertips brush over them as well. “I mean, I knew he was dangerous and all, but-”

“I know, mate,” Phil looks back at Dream’s face, tight even in unconsciousness, at the darkened, hand-shaped bruises that remain around his throat, at the scar that runs over his left eye, clearly meant to mirror the same one that makes its way down the duck hybrid’s own face. “You said that Quackity and Sam were working together?”

“Yeah,” Techno’s expression darkens, eyes focused somewhere on the wall, seemingly very far away. He said that nothing happened to him in the prison, and he seemed relatively unharmed when Phil activated the stasis chamber, but ever since he came back, sometimes he’ll have moments, and Phil can’t help but - wonder. “Quackity does the dirty work, Sam gives him the way in and out, probably also the tools to do it. It’s-” he huffs a short, self-recriminating laugh. “It’s bad, Phil.”

“Mate-”

Techno shoots him a look, and Phil cringes, knowing already that he’d used the wrong tone. Even with the execution, Techno had been adamant to hide all traces of his own terror and fear away from him, masking it all with fury for Phil’s own sake. He knows, just from the way his old friend looks at the ribboning scars that remain sometimes, that he is far from as over the whole ordeal as he acts, but Techno never wants to talk and Phil never knows the right time to ask and they smooth it all behind plans and explosions and hope that the TNT can blow apart the trauma, too. He’s got a sneaking suspicion that the same thing is going to happen, here.

“As soon as we can,” Techno starts again, pointedly shifting his eyes away from Phil’s face, “we’re calling a Syndicate meeting to figure out what we’re going to do about the prison. Like- come on, man, you couldn’t make a more transparent abuse of institutional power if you tried, really-” he looks over, uncharacteristic uncertainty warring over his features. “If you think that’s good, I mean-“

“Of course, mate.” Phil’s voice softens. “Whenever you’re ready.”

‘Whenever he’s ready,’ as it turns out, is easier said than done, becoming even more evident when their charge wakes up from his days long spell of unconsciousness. The worst of his injuries have, under their careful care and the benefit of many potions, healed enough to no longer directly threaten his life, but the vast majority have quite some time to go before being healed completely. Being as the goal was torture and not death, most of his injuries weren’t made to be life-threatening, but rather to cause as much pain as possible - from the grimace that twists Dream’s face when he struggles to force himself awake, they’re doing their jobs.

“Hey, mate, slow down,” Phil murmurs, pressing the man down by his shoulder when Dream weakly tries to push himself up and off the bed, and his struggling only lasts for a few more minutes before he gives up and slumps against his pillow, eyes cracking open and seeming surprisingly lucid.

“Where-“ his voice is wrecked, and Phil reaches for the glass of water at the bedside as Dream coughs. “Where am I?”

“You’re at Techno’s house,” Dream’s eyes widen and then slip closed as he processes the information, a wrinkle forming between his eyebrows as they knit together. “We broke you out, after Techno escaped with a stasis chamber with your book. Do you remember?”

Dream gnaws on his bottom lip. “Um- yeah. I think.” His head turns as his eyes crack open again- “Techno-“

“He’s out, right now. He’ll be back in a bit.”

“Oh.” Dream falls back into the bed, strength seemingly sapped from the short conversation. His breathing stutters, then steadies. “Okay.”

Recovery is slow. Phil doesn’t actually find himself seeing the man very often; now that he doesn’t need around-the-clock care anymore, he’s moved back into his own house, letting Techno do most of the work when it comes to rehabilitating the escaped convict crashing at his house. As he begins to spend more of his time awake and aware, he brings a whole slew of new problems; Phil catches him screaming one day, blurting harsh, angry words as Techno reads, unbothered from the other side of the room, and he stops in his tracks standing awkwardly in the doorway.

“Um-“ he winces when Dream curses, smashes something against the floor, and then curls into himself at the sound. Techno doesn’t even flinch. “Am I interrupting something?”

Dream stomps away, face flushed, arms wrapped around himself. Techno raises an eyebrow.

“You lookin’ for something, Phil?” he asks, and the unpleasant knot in Phil’s chest refuses to unwind.

The episodes, unfortunately, don’t seem to get much better. Though he’s rarely outright violent, Dream looks constantly murderous, usually muttering underneath his breath about something or another while he stalks the grounds of Techno’s house. It’s not too long before Techno sends him out to work around the house instead of just moping within the cottage, which also means that Phil sees him a lot more - tending to a small farm behind the house, feeding the dogs, hacking away at mobs, and usually complaining the entire time. It’s unnerving, even as injured and unarmored as the man is, to see him walking around like this; despite his rather pathetic appearance, swamped in sweaters that dwarf him thoroughly and thin enough to look like the slightest breeze will knock him over, his eyes are flinty and intelligent and bubble with promises of revenge.

“FUCK!” Phil turns to see him slamming a shovel into the snow, stomping away into the woods, and his hands tighten around his cup of tea. Next to him, Techno shrugs.

“Nerd’s got a few issues,” he drawls, and Phil laughs shortly.

“That seems like an understatement.”

“He’ll ease up in time,” Techno sounds surprisingly confident, completely content despite the muffled curses that come from the woods next to them. He’s probably used to it, with Chat and all, but Phil can’t quite seem to find the same calm.

“I just don’t know, mate,” Phil shakes his head. “You sure having him around is the best idea? He doesn’t seem...stable.”

Techno looks up at him over the rim of his cup of coffee. His head tilts, considering, but there’s a small smile on his face that tells Phil that Techno, inexplicably, doesn’t share the same sentiments. There was always a part of him that was, for the lack of a better word, softer than the rest of the server for his self-proclaimed rival, a sort of understanding that Phil could hardly hope (nor would really want to) understand.

“Don’t worry, Phil, if he tries anything I can always just tie him up in the attic or something,” Phil huffs a small laugh, amused, and nods to concede the point. “And- well, call it intuition. You could really try talkin’ to him, you know. He reminds me of you, sometimes.”

The words stick in his head despite his best efforts, rattling in his skull when he tries to sleep, lingering when he catches glimpses of the green-clothed man stalking around their properties. He can’t imagine what would’ve prompted his old friend to make the comparison, can’t think of a single thing (besides their affinity for the color green) that would mark him as similar to the - from what he’s heard - deranged menace with a particular penchant for destruction (not that his rants and fits of anger are doing anything to correct that impression). Even so, Techno had sounded so sure when he’d made the comparison, the words offhand like he’d thought them a million times before, like it was a simple observation that held no more weight than commenting on the color of the sky. Phil watches as Dream lugs a pile of logs behind him, huffing at one of Techno’s dogs that comes to chase and nip at his feet and grumbling loudly before faceplanting into the snow. He just...can’t see it.

Days later, Wilbur comes to visit, a grin on his lips as he dramatically recounts his newest exploit: a nation by Las Nevadas, a supposed safe haven away from the glitter and glory of Quackity’s city; it sounds brilliant, it sounds lovely, and more than anything it sounds stupid, and Phil tells him as such immediately.

“You’re being reckless,” he rants at his son, wings flaring outwards and only barely noticing Dream watching from the corner of his eye, “What are you doing- picking fights with Quackity? Starting another nation- didn’t you see what happened to the first two you made? You’re going to get yourself killed, Wil!”

“Well, I’ve already seen what’s on the other side of death, and it’s really not that bad-“

“You’re my son!” The words are angrier than Phil would’ve liked, and he knows that he looks ridiculous and overbearing, criticizing the actions of his fully grown son, but all he can see is Wilbur’s face, slack with pain and grief, stained with ash and soot as his eyes flutter to half-mast in the midst of the rubble of a country he loved and destroyed and destroyed him in turn. “I can’t lose you again, Wil!”

Wilbur doesn’t quite storm out, but it’s a near thing, leaving with a clipped goodbye and leaving Phil seething on his doorstep. He spends the rest of the night pacing around the house in a sort of mad frenzy, wings stretching and folding over and over. Not for the first time, he longs for the sky, to feel the air through his wings and let the world fall into pinpricks below him; it’s this that leads him to the roof of his house, staring stubbornly at the clouds as the sun sinks down to the horizon.

“Hey.”

Phil startles; there, down below him, is Dream. He rocks back on his heels, seeming awkward, before clambering up the wall (Phil rolls his eyes at the ease with which he scales it, the feeling in his chest almost fond) and settling himself on the shingles at Phil’s side.

“Hey, mate,” Phil shakes his head. The fondness leaves, and the irritation that had risen at Wilbur’s words, earlier, comes back full-force. “Sorry- Wil came to visit, we talked. I just needed some time to think.”

Dream hums in acknowledgement, and they fall into a comfortable silence, watching as the sun dipping down past the mountains in the distance.

“You know,” Dream starts, sudden, “I told him the same thing.” He looks up at Phil, eyes faraway with old memories. “Wilbur, I mean. When he made L’manburg- I told him he was being reckless.” He shrugs. “I guess he never listened.”

Phil pauses, Techno’s words ringing in his ears. He reminds me of you, sometimes.

Dream looks surprisingly normal up close - face no longer reddened with fever or pale from blood loss, even the scars fail to really take from the boyishness of his face. He bites his lips, eyes falling away at Phil’s scrutiny, golden blond hair flopping over his forehead, newly trimmed to be something a little closer to his old length, at least in the front, the back pulled into a small ponytail. He’s young, and shockingly awkward, teeth worrying his lip, hands fiddling with each other, shifting his weight from one foot to the other several times a minute. He looks like a kid.

“He never does,” Phil lets himself smile, watches as Dream smiles back, almost like they’re sharing a joke. He wonders how well he really knows the man behind the mask. “Want to come in for some tea?”

Dream smiles wider, and something old and worn in Phils chest, knocked loose ever since he felt his son fall limp in his arms with his own sword shoved between his ribs, falls back into place.

“That would be great,” Dream replies, the words almost hopeful, and they go inside.

[asteroshearts]

Eren Jaeger is a Selkie

Modern!AU, Selkie!AU

Selkies are creatures originating from Celtic and Norse mythology. When the selkie sheds their coat, they become a human. Rumor has it if you take a selkie's coat, they're going to be forced into a relationship with you and can't return to the water.

Warning: Adapted selkie lore. The last three canons are also not SFW!!

Image: The Birth of Venus by Sandro Botticelli

First of all, Eren absolutely detests the curse that has been placed on the selkie people.

He's like hmph! hmph! ���😤 "How dare our people have their freedom be stolen from them by a mere coat!" Tatake! TATAKE!

You're a marine researcher and rescuer that works at a research institute. Another pleasure craft happens to "accidentally" pollute the ocean again, causing an oil spill near the beach where you work and study.

Thankfully, the amount isn't major, but it's still a danger to the marine life and habitats so you and your team go out and your job is to help the animals that were caught in the middle.

Your team brings back a horribly aggressive northern elephant seal. He's completely uncooperative, snaps at your teammates' fingers, tries to escape, and knocks over all of your tools. You'd think that he consider this "rescue" thing a major inconvenience, even though he's covered in oil and might have other health issues.

You all eventually decide to leave him to his own devices in a locked room and try again the next day where he's hopefully calmer because sedating him didn't work. Your coworker tried.

You accidentally leave your lunch bag at the rehabilitation center and you only notice late at night. Groaning to yourself, you drive out to the beach to get it back.

It's only when you're crossing the shore when you see a ??? butt naked man lying unconscious on the sand ??

You have half a mind to call the authorities, but you realize that he's covered in oil, the only thing he has on him is a surprisingly nice coat, and you figure that he might have been robbed or worse since he's not waking up no matter how much you try to nudge him.

You figure that he might just be another adrenaline junkie since it's illegal to swim on this specific part of the beach. There are no lifeguards, the water is incredibly rocky, and it's nighttime as well. It's also meant for thriving marine life and having humans in this area would drive them off. He's already hurt, and you know that calling the police won't do anyone any favors, so you hope he isn't a murderer and drags his heavy ass all the way back to your car.

He sleeps all the way through the car ride (you threw his coat over him to hide his hips) and you hope that no one sees you pull a 6'0" naked body back to your home.

You check him for injuries and can't find any, so you hope that he can just sleep it off. Quickly changing him into a shirt and sweats, you figure the only thing left to do is wash his coat for him and get all the oil, sand, and seawater out of it.

When Eren wakes up the next morning he immediately knows that he's in a human's place and that his coat is gone. He's about to go into a rage he swears 😡😡

Inwardly he's like, "MY FREEDOM?? MY FREEDOM." all pouty-like and crosses his arms.

But then you walk up with nothing but smiles, and you say, "Oh! Good! You're awake! I'm glad you're okay!" Before he can cuss you out, saying that he would never love you even though he's now forced to be in a romantic relationship with you, you give him a packed breakfast, his cleaned and dried coat, and you send him out the door saying that he might get caught for public indecency next time.

And even though he hates the selkie curse, the instincts are still engrained in his brain so the moment you shut the door he's just standing there ;;; in shock??? 🧍🧍

Half of him is saying that he has his freedom now and he can go back, but the other half is saying ??? you don't want me??? am I undesirable to you???

You clearly took his coat, he can smell it in your fabric softener, but you gave it back to him even though you guys are technically spouses now.

The next few days are a whirlwind. You come back to work realizing that the angry seal actually managed to escape and even though your coworkers are saying "Thank God," you're still worried since the spill hasn't been cleaned up yet.

Eren spends his days half in the ocean and half hiding behind rocks looking like an anime schoolgirl too shy to talk to his crush as he looks at you in your cute little rashguard or your research institute uniform. 👉👈

Eventually, he comes to the conclusion that you're the perfect human spouse!!! No other human would value his freedom like this, so he's like okay 🥰 you're perfect I'm consenting and we can get married and have lots of seal babies now.

He's a bit unsure of how to approach you, but you're sure that you catch a flash of that brown hair every now and then when you continue to rehabilitate other animals.

But then one day one of your work friends attempts to take you out on a date and Eren just comes sprinting up looking absolutely betrayed and furious that you would flirt with someone when you're supposed to be happily married to him.

You just let the biggest HUH? leave your lips when you see him again. AND HE'S STILL. BUTT. NAKED.

He drags you away and even though you're the most confused you've ever been in your entire life, it's hard to get angry at an extremely handsome brunet who gives you large green puppy eyes and acts as if his behavior is completely normal.

You just let your jaw drop at the end of his explanation and go, "...But we're not married!!!"

Cue Eren furrowing his dark brows and saying, "You took my coat though." He grabs your hand and places it on his bare chest. "This heart is yours now."

The selkie reveal drops extremely casually like he's telling you that he's the armored titan or something.

When you don't believe him, best believe he's going to do that dramatic jacket flip and turns into a seal before your eyes.

It takes you a while to get over your "I'm going crazy" phase, but then you decide that even though you're technically "together" by selkie rules, you say that you don't feel anything for him, so it would be unfair for both of you to be in a relationship.

To Eren, that's translated as, "Oh, I have to court them the human way."

He first relies on his instincts on what "courting" is. Imagine when you're at work, a large seal just drops a bunch of edible fish in front of you because he's proving that he can provide for the family.

When that doesn't work out, he goes to Armin and asks for ways to get you to like him. Armin tells him that humans like pearls and one day your coworkers just see you speedwalking as a seal attempts to flounder after you with several oysters in its mouth.

Next, he just tries to give you his coat forcefully. Like you just find it in your car, on your work desk, in your house. When you confront him about it he's like 🥰🥰 oh that's strange... how did that get there? hahaha anyway!!! let's be together now!! I'm stuck with you!!

Even though Eren is pretty...pushy... his efforts do actually start wearing you down. He's attractive and fit, he put time and energy into getting you to like him, and when he catches you on the beach alone, he talks to you about you as a person and you, in turn, learn about what kind of person he is. It's hard not to love someone when they look at you like you're the reason why the ocean is beautifully blue.

Selkie!Eren is clingy!!!! When he starts to live on land more than the ocean to be with you, he's just pouty and upset when you have to go to work. You know when you get a new puppy and they just trash the place because they miss you and don't know any better? That's Eren.

He doesn't understand why you have to work when he can just provide for you himself.

Doesn't like human clothes so he just walks around your home still bare. Eventually, you become desensitized to it and you don't even blink when a 6'0" naked man hangs off of you trying to get your attention.

You tell him that he can't go out with you and your friends unless he puts on some clothes and he just wears some pants and like his coat and you're like ,,,, okay I can still see your man titties like what's the point you're trying to make Eren.

I wanted these headcanons to be SFW, but Selkie!Eren legitimately doesn't understand pulling out and contraceptives. He's a horn dog but he also goes by animal instincts and so he's confused as hell going ?? we are supposed to have many pups !!

The northern elephant seals are also known for being extremely loud during mating season. Make of that (in human form!!!) what you will.

Also imagine having hot seggs on top of his coat. Okay. Send tweet.

[wqk-k]

Obey Me Brother react to an idol!MC

 hi this is my first set of headcanons for the brothers  👉👈 i apologize if the brothers are ooc in this, though i tried my best jksajdufhj. i hope you enjoy!

++++

Warning(s): Cursing

Reader Pronouns: They/Them (4A)

Background: MC is a very popular idol in their world, best known for their impressive singing skills, music and the amount of rewards they have recieved because of their talents. Surprisingly, they aren’t only popular in their world, but in the Devildom and Celestial Realm as well.

++++

Lucifer

since lucifer didnt actually read who you were on the paper that had blown to his feet, he had no idea you were an idol at first

but after couple days at RAD, he noticed that random demons kept coming up to you in between classes and didnt leave until the next class started

most of them had come up to you with a pen and some paper asking for your autograph

he was just like ??? 

after a while of this happening luci decided to just ask you straight up why they were coming up to you like that and you had told him you were an idol back in the human realm

that explains it

he honestly doesnt mind

if people start hating on you in public, he’ll honestly just shoot them a death glare and it works

so damn well

he got too much pride to deal with those underlings

if you start working on music/mv projects that you left off on in the human realm (like shooting mv or singing) he will absolutely rent you a recording booth or fuck, even a whole ass theatre if you needed it

sometimes he likes to sit in the recording booth and listen to you sing for a bit before returning to his stacks of mammon’s bills 

v proud of you dont get him wrong

but he will make sure you’ve done all your homework first LMAO 🛌

Mammon

when mammon first found out you were an idol he started digging through boxes that had been in his closet

after what seemed like hours he finally found the box he was looking for and he started to dig through it

he pulled out an old camera that levi gave him a couple hundred years ago bc he said he didnt need it

mammon had the best idea ever, he could sell pictures of you to your fans for at least 10,000 grimm each.

surprisingly it worked

like really well

so well that you found out

you confronted him about it, saying that you find hella uncomfy with him snapping pictures of you at random times. not only that but it was an invasion of your privacy

despite him earning so much grimm, he agrees to stop but keeps some of the pictures to himself to look at when he misses you 

if you get hate in public he’ll turn into his demon form and scare the person away, maybe scaring you in the procees but apologizes right away if he does

if you start working on music/mv projects he’ll offer to help you shoot mvs or record you singing if you need the help

just make sure he gets some credit for helping you

but he genuinely thinks you look amazing in anything, like anything

you could be wearing a big bird cosplay and he’ll think you look breathtaking

gets you to model w him sometimes

Leviathan

wait you look really familiar

really really familiar

you almost look and sound like that one really popular human idol that hes simped for time and time again

wait

oh shit

v embarrassed when he finds out it is actually you and gets really nervous when hes talking to you

is the demon asking for your autograph

but you have no idea how much power you have over this man

you could tell him to come out of his room and he’d come out with ease, no protesting, no nothing

may ask you to record a ringtone for him for when he wakes up

even after months of you two knowing each other, he still gets flustered when you start talking to him with your stupid cute ass eyes and your perfect hair and your perfect voice and your perfect-

yeah you get the point AKJSDKLASFBG

if you get hate in public he will deadass growl at the person before escorting you to your favorite ice cream place

if you start working on music/mv projects he will be by your side 24/7

he wants to see the god/ess themselves at work

hes like your personal butler for the time youre working on the projects and its adorable

hes bby

Satan

when he finds out youre an idol he will 100% voulenteer to help you write lyrics for your next song

but besides that, like luci, he really doesnt mind

he hears some other demons talking shit about you after art class and he’ll be angy as usual, but after stomping off and accidentally bumping into you he just

turned into puddy??

idk what it was but it was something abt they way your hair was a lil messed up and looking at him like that wish a small embarrassed look

just wow

every ounce of anger just evaporated while you apologized over and over again because the face he was making made him look like he was angry for some reason 

when he snaps back into reality he says its cool but then asks if youd like to go to the library w him because honestly youre his safe haven now

sometimes he asks you to hum a tune for him when hes reading

if the demons start hating again, you may need to hold him back KJASNDJFG 

if you start working on music/mv projects, again, will voulenteer for helping with lyrics

if you already have the lyrics down he’ll review them and give constructive critisisim if needed

or he’ll just write every lyric himself and you can judge it after hes done

Asmodeus

is not surprised at all

hes actually heard some of your songs and damn id he doesnt have them on his “on repeat” playlist on devilfy

he thinks you have an outstanding voice, not only that but youre a gorgeous lookin thing

asmo likes to hit on you a lot because he likes to see that flustered look on your face but he would never over your boundaries

he wouldnt want to be over the internet bc he made one of the most praised artists in devildom (thats not even a demon) angry

asmo doesnt want to be cancelled yet JKSJKDGFUA

but seriously, he thinks youre amazing

like really amazing

there like no lust involved in his admiration for you he just geniunely thinks youre cool

but he does think you look amazing 24/7

will ask you to model things for him for devilgram

if you get hate in public, he’ll hold your hands and shower you with compliments and tells you to ignore them

if you start working on music/mv project he will insist on doing backup vocals or being a backup dancer

or like the head backup dancer or whatever theyre called

is like your personal stylist wherever you go as well

along with that he can also help you come up with a beat for your song if you need one, he is more than happy to help someone like you

Beelzebub

he honestly thinks youre really cool

asmo showed him one of your songs before and thought it sounded really catchy

not only that, you sounded beautiful, almost like you were actually from the celestial realm, consider him a fan

so when you showed up for the new exchange program he was surprised but got really giddy

was one of the demons who asked for your autograph

you gave him a sweet smile after he asked and he just- melted

man down man down

will want to spend lost of time with you and take you to ristorante six on fridays as his treat

you usually end up paying though which he feels really guilty about but you tell him its fine

youre an idol who is loaded to the chest, youve got nothing to lose KLSKADJHF

if you get hate in public he’s also the type to death glare but people dont really hate on you in public when youre w him bc he has a naturally scary aura

lowkey thought you wouldnt like him at first :(

if you start working on mv/music projects he’ll start cooking you meal and making sure you get enough water

will absolutely cook your favorite meal- or any meal in fact- if you request it

if you dont request anything he’ll just wing it and make something he think you’ll like kjskdhsf

Belphegor

couldnt care less  🧍

he thinks your voice is pretty nice tho

hears beel listening to your music once and agrees w him on you having a really nice voice

lowkey sing him to sleep

like its super cute

plus he thinks youre gorgeous?? like wow you rlly pretty

once tried rubbing your face bc he thought you were wearing makeup but when nothing came up on his thumb he muttered a small “wow” and hugged you

it was the cutest thing ever ohmy god KJSJDSIF

ever since that day hes obtained a habit of rubbing your face when he finds you stunning or at random moments

if you get hate in public he will literally murder the person?? but in like an alleyway or something

he’ll say something like “wait here” and walks toward a dark area to do his thang

when he comes back he’s covered in this red shit and you worry for him but he just glosses over it and takes you into a pillow shop LMAO

he is v protective over you

if you start working on mv/music projects he’ll occasionally help out but most of the time he’s sleeping so he doesnt really care 

sometimes he’ll give beat/lyric suggestions or help flim the mv but thats it  🧍  

++++

[ultimatetornshipper]

To bee or not to bee - a Jasonette fic

@moonlitceleste I almost let this die, I honestly really wanted it dead but alas it was clearly meant to bee 

(WARNING: contains puns, angst, crack and fluff. You have been warned)

If you don’t want to read my sarcastic/funny/fangirl commentary, skip the brackets

I have another bee movie au, i didn't plan it ("I don't claim to be proud. But my head won't be hung in shame. I didn't plan it. But the light turned red, and I ran it. And I'm still standing. It's not what I wanted, but now that it's right here. I understand it. A story written by my own hand" as quoted from Waitress), it just happened and i just couldn't resist. I'm not sorry

So what if instead of dying Joker turned Jason into a bee. Because Harley convinced him and told him that people were talking shit about him because he's named the Joker and they don't think he's funny. It surprisingly works. (Obviously Harley was the one who made the plan and did the magic I mean really what do u expect of Joker?)

Ok so now Jason’s a bee right? And he’s like 15 because .~:°*plot*°:~.

They look for him and Jason’s like flying around like, “Guys! Guys I’m right here!” Poor kid. (I mean I would make it funny but like angst)

Obviously they don’t understand him because he’s a fucking bee and Joker cackles madly and Harley laughs too but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes and it's kinda that laugh u do when ur supes overwhelmed and sound maniacal but like soft (I’m a simp for Harley being portrayed as the complex and beautiful character she id leave me be)

Jason is very sad. And also quite pissed

Not knowing what else to do he follows Batman home, he listens to them trying to find him, watches Dick freak out and Alfred wipe a tear the rest of the family doesn’t see.

Jason tries to approach Alfred, hoping he somehow recognizes what happened

He doesn’t, Alfred closes him in a glass and paper and takes him outside.

He sneaks back into the manor and sleeps in one of the flowers (it's a red tulip because aesthetic) next to his bed. He cries himself to sleep. (Can bees cry? Is this possible? Is this like a thing??? I don't need sleep i need answers)

The thing is even tho he's now a bee, he still has the durability of a human, so even stepping on him won’t crush him and he still has a human lifespan

Because Harley isn’t a monster and what Puddin didn’t know couldn’t hurt him. (Simping for Harley Quinn strike 2)

After a while at the manor and following them he decides he can’t stand it anymore. Alfred has thrown him out three times and Dick freaks out each time he sees him as he’s a tad allergic (read: he would die if stung)

Which is how Jason found out that getting hit with a newspaper wouldn’t kill him.

He leaves.

He’s a bee and it’s not like he knows about a way to reverse it.

But there was someone who might.

He goes to Arkham.

Luckily, Harley was still there. (YAY we get to see mah gurl)

He flies into her cell and she just watches him, then she seems to click. She gives him a small smile, “Hi birdie,” (she puns, honestly would make for a better clown of Gotham and I saw an idea for that once where she steals Joker’s title once and I’ve been yearning for it ever since)

She holds out a finger and he lands on it, she laughs but tears come to her eyes,” Hey at least you’re not dead. That was his original plan you know? To kill you with a crowbar. I convinced him this would be a cruller fate. I guess maybe it is, but at least this way... Ugh how the hell did I get here,” (Harley angst, honestly it’s all just self service at this point)

He simply stared at her as she cried, and he felt his heart clench. From here she looked so sad... not crazy, just broken.

She took a deep breath and looked at him seriously, “Look kid, there’s a way to get you back to normal, you just need to find someone, they’re called the Guardian of the Miraculous. They can help, I don’t know who or where they are, just follow your instincts. And come say hi when you get back, yeah? I could do with the... healthier company. And remember, I bee-lieve in you,” (Gasp what a shock, you mean to tell me Miraculous magic is gonna be involved in this Maribat au. Well I never what a shock. Also puns. Oh and she’s so nice to him. We love Harley in this house)

He sat there and studied her for a while more, there was more to her than it seemed. Than what he’d assumed.

But for now, he had his own problems to deal with.

She gave him a small wave as he left. (Adorable)

He left and started considering his options, as a bee, it would probably be safest to stay inside, away from birds and things that would view him as a snack.

Staying in Arkham seemed like his best option, as bad an option as it was.

Most of the prisoners wouldn’t have a second thought about trying to crush him.

A strong scent of flowers and plants suddenly came to his attention.

Of course! Poison Ivy. (Round 2 of me simping for beautiful, complex, badass women. Too bad Catwoman ain’t here.)

He followed the smell to her cell and saw her staring out of her small window. He was still taking a chance, but she loved plants and flowers and bees were important to those, weren’t they?

He flew to the window bars and sat on one. The moment she spotted him she smiled widely, in a soft way he hadn’t seen on her before. (Ahhhhh my darling plant redhead. I love writing the Sirens as soft badasses. Also has anyone noticed how rare brunettes are in superhero worlds? Like both in Marvel and DC but like irl brown is like a pretty damn common)

She held out her finger, “Hey there, little guy. A little far from home, aren’t we?”

She had no idea.

He landed on her fingertip and watched in awe as a flower and a few leaves formed on her hand. She let the flower grow itself around one of her window bars and held her finger next to one of the petals.

“There you go, it’s all I can manage with my power dampers. I haven’t had company in a while,” she said softly as he crawled into the flower. He made himself comfortable.

She laughed to herself and he saw her shaking her head, “Talking to a bee, well, I guess stranger things have happened,” (yeah ur crush is dating a green haired murderous psychopath and you get beat up by a billionaire in a batsuit on like a biweekly basis)

The flower was soft and warm and felt safer than he expected it to. He found that he could move between the petals but decided to curl up in the middle. (It's a pink rose this time because fuck yeah flowers)

He slept better than he had in days.

The next morning he took his leave, stopping only at the manor to say a mental goodbye.

Then he headed off.

Jason flew a lot the first few months, our boy was smart at least, travelling with a cruise ship on its way to Europe.

It was Spring in the Northern Hemisphere so he had until Autumn until it was in his best interest to head south to avoid the snow. He decided to head towards Africa when summer started coming to an end. (I have no reasoning for this, just that I want to)

His first spot would be the United Kingdom. Then he'd go through the rest of Europe following his instincts.

At least it was Spring.

Jason diligently searched through England, Scotland and Ireland but found nothing.

By the time he was done he realized it was time to start heading South. He’d decided to take another cruise to South-Africa, where it would be summer, he searched through the country until April. He would admit that he didn’t feel drawn to anything in any of their 9 provinces so his search wasn’t as diligent as in England. He didn’t feel anymore drawn to the neighbouring countries like Namibia or Botswana either.

(Once again no reasoning for why I picked these countries, I mean the French Hugonotes went there when they were fleeing from the French Catholics who wanted them dead so I guess I could make up some bullshit about Mari having an ancestor in common with someone there or maybe it was just the ship he could easiest get access I don’t know, you make something up)

Which was why he decided to go back to Europe as soon as April hit.

He hitched another ride on a cruise headed for France.

It’s been a year since he got turned into a damn bee.

He was sixteen now and while he’d seen some amazing things all through South-Africa (a place that proves that humans really do have a weirdly obvious way of naming things I mean the Amazon river and Chad Lake are just more examples really) as well as the United Kingdom, all he really wanted was to go back home, to be human again.

When he gets there he diligently makes his way through France, eventually arriving in Paris.

He lands on the tip top of the Eiffel Tower. As in the point of the antenna because why not.

During his year he realized that birds and other animals tended to avoid him, sensing his strangeness so that was at least one positive.

He stared out over the city. Well, the one good thing about this was definitely the views he’s been allowed to see.

That was until a massive explosion hit.

“What the fuck?” he said out loud, searching for the source. No one understood him, human or bee, but talking to himself reminded him of his humanity.

He found the source of the explosion but just as he started flying to its general direction, a blinding white light shone followed by a horde of ladybugs that were fixing everything that was wrong. (Imagine how scary this would lowkey be irl tho? Just a shit ton of Ladybugs descending on Paris my dude)

He decided that he needed a night’s sleep before he could even begin an attempt at deciphering what had just happened. He flew lower, finding a nice little balcony right above a bakery. And it had flowers. (I’ll give u five seconds to guess who this balcony belongs to)

He flew down, exploring.

He turned around when he heard a loud thump from behind him. What appeared to be a super heroine in red spandex with black spots had landed on the balcony.

She detransformed and started to talking to a floating bug- fairy thing. Strange. Though it wasn’t like he could judge, as an ex superhero sidekick who was thought to be dead but was actually a bee.

She disappeared down her trapdoor and he made himself comfortable in one of her flowers.

He slept soundly until somewhere during a night another thump woke him. He looked out of his sleeping spot to see a cat superhero stand on her balcony. He leaned down and knocked on her small trapdoor.

Ah, a teammate of hers, they were probably meeting about something, he thought as he heard her open up.

It didn’t take him long to realize that even though they were teammates, the cat, Chat Noir he later learned, was not aware of this fact.

Oh this was rich.

He couldn’t bee-lieve his eyes. (ok so Jason used self-referential puns but can you really blame him? It’s really just me and my pun problem so don’t blame the kid)

He was going on and on about his feelings for Ladybug, the girl’s hero form, that were clashing with his feelings for another girl he fenced with, while she listened, clearly fed up with it.

He also claimed that he thought that maybe they were one and the same. Which, to Jason, was hilarious as he was literally saying this to the actual Ladybug’s face.

Marinette- he learned from the Cat’s ongoing blabbering, he was a real blab-bee mouth, - was clearly tired, nodding half asleep, probably having heard it all before.

When he finally left Jason went to sleep again, incredibly amused and even more thankful that he was fluent in French. ( u think this is plot convenience? Just u wait mah dude iz about to get worse)

The next morning he decided to follow her to school. Which was how he learned of her huge crush on a boy named Adrien Agreste.

After learning the boy could fence thanks to Marinette’s obsession interest in him, he got suspicious.

Could it really bee? (not a typo)

After seeing the boy transform a month or two later for patrol he laughed like he hadn’t for over a year. It very much was. He'd spent the time staying on Marinette's balcony and decided to stay another week before moving on and continuing his search, after all, he couldn't stop now that he finally felt like he was getting close.

The next day she got home crying, claiming that Adrien had started dating someone else.

Kagami, she called the girl. Probably the fencer if he had to place a bet.

“I’m sorry, Marinette,” Tikki told the girl.

“That boy's an idiot,” he said, speaking his mind, another thing he’d gotten use to being allowed to do without consequence.

Marinette nearly jumped out of her skin, she looked around and he realized that she could hear him. He hadn’t really spoken too much before, at least not when she was around. He was usually content with watching her do whatever she was doing that day.

“Tikki, did you hear that?” she asked, Tikki nodded, her eyes landing on him.

“Oh,” the kwami said softly, flying over to him, “Oh, you poor thing, who did this to you?” (Tikki is the first ever mom friend and u can fight me on this)

He stared up at her, flying so that they were eye level.

Marinette gaped at them, heartbreak seemingly forgotten, “Tik- Tikki, are- who are you talking- are you talking to a – Tikki is that a bee?!” she finally spluttered out.

“No,” Tikki said, studying him, he felt his heart twist in hope and his stomach roll in surprise. Did she know?

“I mean yes, but no. He’s a boy whose been turned into a bee,” Tikki explained, turning back to Marinette.

“Oh,” Marinette said softly, turning to him. She held her hand out and after some hesitation he landed on her finger. She looked at him then back to Tikki.

How did they know? Would he really be that lucky? Was this real?

“Uhm, how?” she said, staring at him in disbelief. He tried shrugging but realized he couldn’t anymore- beecause of his- well if you haven’t caught on to the fact that he’s a bee by now you should really start from the beginning of this story.

“I don’t know, but Joker and Harley Quinn were involved,” he said.

Marinette stared at him in disbelief, blinking a few times. She sat in shock a few moments longer. (Our darling is an awkward lil bean, and while in media awkward is portrayed as cute, irl it isn’t, it’s just well… awkward. And we’re writing a serious and realistic fic about this sidekick of guy who wears a batsuit/billionaire's ward getting turned into a bee and falling in love with a magical girl fighting a butterfly man- none of this unrealistic nonsense)

Tikki flew over and sat on Marinette’s shoulder while her holder processed the information, the kwami stared at him sweetly, “What’s your name?”

He swallowed, he hadn’t said his name in ages, it stirred up something (emotion, it’s called emotion, Jason, you know? The thing Batman can’t process??) in him, “Jason Todd,”

Marinette seemed to finally snap out of her daze, “That sounds American. Are you American? Wait if Joker and Harley are involved then you’re probably from Gotham. Are you? Wait I’ve seen the name Jason Todd somewhere. Weren’t you some rich guy’s ward? It was all over the news last year, Alya wouldn’t stop talking about it for a month, she had a million theories. He was – you were announced dead two months after Robin was taken captive by Joker, everyone thought he was – you were killed. Joker made outrageous claims as they arrested him... saying that they’d never find Robin... that he’d all but disappeared in thin air... that he wouldn’t be the only one wearing stripes... I remember because he put a really weird emphasis on the words be and stripes and...,” her eyes widened and she gasped as she looked at him in what could only be described as pure shock. (Yes this happens, people can talk for this long and since I personally know headcannon that Marinette is ADHD this long ass paragraph is just another Tuesday bud)

He sat there, surprised that she figured it all out so quickly. (yeah bub it’s called plot convenience and it’s because of me, the writer, I don’t wanna focus on secret ID shenanigans, I got other plans for yall, also Mari is smart, don’t underestimate her)

“You’re Robin,” she breathed, “they turned you into a bee. Wait- How the hell did they turn you into a bee?!”

He chuckled, “Bee-lieve me I’ve been asking myself that question for more than a year,”

She bit her lip, seemingly contemplating his words and ignoring his pun, “Tikki do you know anything that could help? Do you think Miraculous magic-,”

He felt his heart stop, he flew up to her face, flying at eye level, “Wait, did you just say Miraculous? Harley said if I could find the Guardian of the miraculous, they could help me, do you know where they are? I’ve been looking for so long,” (‘��;~*.plot convenience.*~;°’)

Marinette blinked at him and Tikki's face dawned with realization.

“I’m the guardian of the miraculous,” Marinette said softly, “Tikki, that means I can help him, right?”

Tikki nodded and he had to dial down the hope in his heart because the look on her face told him there was a Kim Kardashian sized butt on the way.

“We can help him, but we’re gonna have to wait. (don’t look at me like that, do u want them to have time to bond or not?) You’re not trained enough to pull it off yet. If you were to do it now, all three of us would be out of commission for far too long, especially with Hawkmoth on the prowl,” Tikki said.

They must’ve been able to sense his sadness because they were staring at him with an incredible amount of pity. The amount was quite unsettling actually and he suddenly felt a primal like urge to pun. (An extract from my book: “My unhealthy coping mechanisms and how to use them,” specifically Chapter 8: “Humor hides the pain”)

Suddenly Tikki’s face lit up, the whiplash of her expression change throwing any notion of punning out the window.

“Well, there’s one thing we could do,” she said, excitedly, zipping buzzing around “If he wears a miraculous, he'll return back to human form while transformed,”

Marinette perked up at the idea, but confusion soon overtook her features, “But Tikki, most of the miraculous are bigger than he is,”

Tikki waved her away,” It’s fine it’ll work,”

“Ok,” Marinette said after a bit of thought. She stood and he followed while she started climbing down her skylight,” I’m thinking you can try each of them out for different patrols and then we’ll see which one matches you best. This could be fun, having some fun sized company while figuring out how to defeat Hawkmoth,”

He laughed, flying near her ear, “Fun sized, huh? I’ll have you know I’m considered tall in human form, unlike some of us,”

She laughed and rolled her still tear stained eyes, and so, the beginning of a bee-autiful friendship bloomed.

Marinette walked to her closet and Jason took in her room. It was very pink, but in a well-balanced way - it wasn’t completely overbearing. His eye caught on a few pictures of Adrien Agreste on her wall but figured now wouldn’t be a great time to bring it up. (Look he’s already more emotionally aware, #foreshadowing of character development)

She removed a big box from her closet. She opened it and it was filled with what appeared to be a bunch of scrap materials. At the bottom she removed a bigger bundle of black and red fabric and he flew closer.

She put it in her lap and Jason had to do a double take when he realized that her hands were glowing and what the actual fuck- it was a box now -fuck fuck fuck- why was it a box? How? What- Jason was pretty sure he did not sign up for this.

She put the box down in front of her and to his relief she opened her mouth to speak as she lifted the lid, so he’d understand everyth- and its jewellery.

The box contained jewellery. Animal themed jewellery by the looks of things.

He then realized that these were probably the other miraculous.

She looked over each artefact before handing him the yellow and black hairclip.

Out of all of them, she picked the bee miraculous.

“Hilarious,” he replied dryly, giving her a look, he realized too late she wouldn’t be able to register- on account of, well you know… (if u don’t know by now, you don’t get to find out anymore)

She gave him a grin and replied, “I certainly think it is,”

Her teasing expression turned into one of worry, “I mean we could switch it out if it makes you uncomfortable-,” (being a sassy people pleaser with no filters really do be like this tho)

He laughed, “Don’t worry, I’m only teasing. What do I do?”

Marinette opened her mouth to answer before obviously realizing that she didn’t have an answer. She turned to Tikki and the kwami had a fond smile on her face before turning to Jason. (Just Tikki casually mentor- moming Mari because Fu is useless)

“Just step on the miraculous, it’ll sense that you’re human,” the creature replied.

When he stepped onto the bee miraculous, its kwami appeared.

Pollen stared at him for a few seconds before she realized what was happening.

After an explanation about her power set and what exactly he could do in suit, he transformed.

He felt his human body appearing. He was taller and more built than he remembered being. His flying clearly had physical consequences then, not that he was complaining.

His suit included a pair of bee wings. His hair was longer than he remembered it being too.

He had a black leather jacket and combat boots. With it was a pair of practical black leggings and a yellow t-shirt with three thick black stripes. (The three stripes represent each one of his families, the Todds, the Waynes and The Dupain-Chengs, because I can) He also had a pair of black gloves. His boots had yellow laces. On his face was a black and yellow striped domino mask. The top sat on his hip. The bee miraculous sat on the middle of his chest in the form of a broach.

He all but sprinted to the mirror. He stared at his face, his blue eyes and his nose that never healed quite right after breaking it that one time. His black hair was messy and stuck up every which way, his cheekbones were as high as always, and he had a little bit of stubble and it was so familiar and so new all at once.

He touched his face, barely registering the tears flowing down his cheeks and laughed in relief. He was human again. This was real! He could- he was closer to normal than he ever thought he’d get to be.

He turned to Marinette who was staring up at him in shock. He picked her up and spun her around, laughing in joy. And after a moment she joined in. He put her down and put his hands on her shoulders, smiling widely, “Thank you. Thank you so much,”

She smiled up at him, a slightly sad look on her face, “I’m sorry, it’s not permanent,”

“Don’t be sorry. For the first time I have hope. It will be permanent eventually, and till then, I have you with me, right?” he squeezed her shoulder, still high on the feeling of hope and warmth and familiarity.

When he was overcome with the sudden urge to pull her into a hug, he didn’t resist.

He held her close, resting his chin on her head, “Damn, I missed this. Hugging, I mean. I haven’t... it’s been so long,” (not that he got all that many hugs from Bruce “emotionally constipated” Wayne)

She wrapped her arms around him, “I can imagine,”

They stood there a while before the time for patrol came along. She transformed and they made their way to the Eiffel tower, where they met Chat.

The cat themed hero rose his brow questioningly, “I thought we didn’t recruit new heroes unless it was an emergency?”

Ladybug smiled nonchalantly, “It’s Guardian business, he’s gonna be a permanent fixture in our team for at least a few months so we might as well get used to working as a team,”

Chat Noir eyed him wearily and he stepped forward, sticking his hand out, “Hi, I’m Blackback, nice to meet you,”

Chat Noir shook his hand and gave Ladybug a sceptical look, ��An American? Really?”

“Please Chat, he's not American, it’s just the glamour hiding his actual accent,” she replied simply, shooting Jason a worried look.

He couldn’t give away his identity, but he was also technically a bee, he didn’t really have an identity to give away. So, her behaviour was strange. Unless she wanted to give him an identity somehow?

He couldn’t stop thinking about it for the rest of patrol.

When they got home Marinette revealed that she wanted to give him the fox miraculous. If they asked Trixx she would be able to design the costume in a way that allowed him to look like a normal civilian, without the mask.

Trixx's glamour was also stronger than the rest so his true identity as Jason Todd would be protected.

And she could help him fake an accent.

Since Marinette was a year younger than him he could just pick up where he left off school wise.

She convinced her parents that he was an exchange student in desperate need of a place to stay because the person he would’ve stayed with backed out last minute.

They agreed easily and Jason decided to not question it.

It was his third family. His second if you only counted non abusive ones. First if you wanted one with a healthy family dynamic.

They got him a fake birth certificate and name. He went with the alias Thomas Grayson. He thought it was kind of funny, and it paid homage to both Bruce and Dick. It gave him something from home to hold on to. (Jason isn’t really salty about not being avenged in this au, he didn’t die and Talia and the pit madness wasn’t there to egg on his anger. But maybe if I ever get back to this au we could do a thing with it… guess we’ll have to wait and see ;-) no promises tho)

He built himself another home with Marinette and her family. And before he knew it, he was happy again. He felt secure.

Through the weeks, he ingrained himself into Marinette's life. In a blink of an eye, they were best friends, and he couldn’t imagine life without her.

He loved living with her family as she trained to be strong enough to turn him back to normal.

He grew close to Marinette’s friends and was her shoulder to cry on about Adrien. He and Adrien got along pretty well, and he and Marc and Rose traded Literature jokes. Max would join in when it involved Shakespeare.

Then Lila happened. (She’s a staple in Maribat fiction. U can’t have Maribat without Lila. Or well u can but that’s usually a very specific au)

Her lies started out simple enough. Then she started manipulating everyone and he, Marinette, Chloe and Adrien were one scheme away from being ostracized. They sat in the back row.

They ignored her sneers and let her lie to her heart’s content. Then one day she said something that made both Marinette and Jason freeze.

“You know, I was childhood friends with Jason Todd (I know she usually gets the names wrong but like her knowing the name just makes this next bit better) You know, Bruce Wayne’s ward who died a while ago? It was just so sad. He grew up in a nice family but his parents both died in a car accident and Brucie took pity on him. He even let us keep in contact afterwards, since our parents were such good friends. We all miss them dearly of course. We were neighbours the year we lived in Gotham, you know? We'd play every day-,” she started fake crying, “Oh it just gets too much sometimes,”

But to Jason’s shock Alya didn’t move to console Lila, in fact, she was staring at the brunette in shock.

He turned his gaze to Marinette to see the girl wearing the biggest, coldest, most satisfied smirk. She rested her chin on her hands and grinned at Lila in a way that made shivers go down his spine.

He turned back, this ought to be good.

And it was.

Alya absolutely lost it.

She ripped Lila a new one and frankly? Jason was impressed. (Alya has a temper and she’s a fangirl, and we all know how we get when someone gets something wrong about one of our hyperfixations, even if it’s an old one so like yall can imagine how bad Lila had fucked up)

When an akuma flew in towards Lila, Alya grabbed it, staring the girl down with a fury he didn’t know she could possess, “Don’t you dare! Do you think I’m blind? I’ve seen how easily you get akumatized and this time I’m not letting it happen!”

Of course, Alya then got akumatized but hey it beat another version of Lila.

Everyone made up but they weren’t quite as close as before. Their group tended to consist mostly out of him, Marinette, Chloe, Adrien, Kagami and Luka.

Other than that incident and akuma attacks, life was pretty good.

In fact, it was great.

He and Marinette would spend nights on her balcony, laughing and slow dancing. They star gazed and went on patrols. He helped her when she got nightmares and she returned the favour. They went on long walks and spent the holidays together. They crammed for tests and he played model for her designs. They worked in the bakery and hung out with their friends both in and out of suit. They’d joke about his technical bee-ness and he and Chat drove her mad with puns. In retaliation she’d introduce him as her bee friend to people or only give him honey and bee themed things. (ok this sentence sounds weird but I mean like when she brings them sweets from the bakery to snack on while working and stuff.)

And one laugh, memory and fight at a time, he started to fall. (I just want good things for Jason, and really can you blame me?)

Through the months, he kept up to date on the news about Bruce Wayne and Marinette held his hand each time a new kid joined his brood. She reminded him that no child could be replaced and reassured him that of course Bruce would want him back when they figured everything out.

And if he didn’t, she’d kick his ass into space, and he’d stay with her family in Paris- a family she made sure he knew he was a part of.

He helped Sabine in the kitchen and was the only one who came closest to beating Marinette’s Ultimate Mega Strike 3 record. Tom taught him to shave and bake. He was integrated into their family and they treated him as part of the family.

But even if they were giving him everything they were, he missed Bruce. And Dick. And Alfred. And Barbara. And Gotham. He missed them all so much. He missed home.

So, 14 months later, when Marinette told him they had a meeting with the Justice League about the Hawkmoth situation, Jason felt his heart skip a beat.

“What?” he asked softly, his eyes brimming with tears (Marinette taught him how to emotion, you see. So Jason is emotionally stable-ish enough to cry without feeling embarrassed about it), “I get to see him again?”

Marinette nodded and hugged him from behind, “I’m planning on telling him what happened. Is there anything you can tell him to verify who you are?”

Memories from a million years ago entered his mind, “Yes,”

She took his hand and took a step back, “And I think I can fix you before we go, I’m strong enough. But I’d still like your help in the final battle, I mean I know you’re going home but...,”

He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and smiled, “Of course, Pixie. I’ll always be there for you when you need me,”

He pressed a kiss against her forehead, a movement so familiar it was practically a part of him. He pulled her close and cried into her hair.

“What if he doesn’t believe me?” he asked softly, after a while, resting his chin on top of her head.

“He will,” she replied, tightening her grip around his waist.

They both knew she had no guarantee of that. That she had no way of knowing for sure. Neither of them did.  And it scared him more than he wanted to admit.

The next day they do the magic turning back thing. It freaks him out quite a bit but not as much as her revealing the miraculous freaked him out the first time, you get kinda used to the magic shenaniganary. They’re both passed out for an hour afterwards and when they wake up, he holds her, crying, because he was finally, finally back to normal and this was real and permanent, and it was over.

She cried with him and held him, and they then went out and he wore a shirt she made for him, and they got ice cream the next day. They celebrated some more and went to the park with the squad and they had a picnic.

It was better than he ever could've imagined.

While the sun was setting, they stood back on her balcony, where they first spoke all those months ago, slow dancing. He pulled away and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled at her as the orange light of the sunset shone on them. (So aesthetic)

“Thank you, Marinette, for everything,” he says as he rubs his thumb across her cheek. His hand holding her face. She puts her hand over his and closes her eyes, savouring the moment.

She opened her eyes again and smiled, “I’d do it again and more, if it meant I’d get to be with you,”

He started leaning down, “If I lost you, I’d fly all over the world just to find you again,”

She raised to her tip toes, faces millimetres from one another, blue bells meeting ice, “So it was all worth it in the end?”

He moves closer, eyes searching hers. “Definitely,” he breathes.

She closes the distance, and he picks her up and spins her around. They break apart and their laughter fills the air.

(now that’s enough fluff, allow me to drown you in angst)

The next day they stood on the Eiffel tower. She took his hand, “Let’s recap. I go in, we have our Hawkmoth meeting, then I ask if I can speak to Batman and Nightwing alone. Then I tell them I found you, then I give them – are you sure it’s necessary for me to give them your blood, hair and a cheek swab? Isn’t that overkill?” (Batman is serious about his no kill rule, but he’s also serious about his there’s no such thing as overkill rule)

He shook his head and she sighed, “Okay. Then I give him means to contact me and I come back. Now remember they might take a while to process and they won’t necessarily call immediately-,”

“What if they never call?” he asked, gripping her hand tightly.

She ran her finger softly through his hair, “Then you have us to help you get through it,”

He nodded, she kissed his cheek and stepped through the portal with Queen Bee, Chat Noir and Viperion. He and Ryuuko stayed behind as backup, he wielded the Fox miraculous these days, but kept the name Blackback, always wearing a black leather jacket no matter the transformation.

He and Ryuko discussed fighting styles, she was kindly trying to distract him, and if it had been anything else he needed distracting from, it would’ve worked.

So passed the slowest forty-five minutes of his life. Chat Noir and Queen Bee exit a portal and so the wait for Marinette and Luka began.

She and Bruce were talking now. Bruce would know he was alive. This was make or break for him. Luka was nearby to act as back up worst-case scenario.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, followed by someone taking and rubbing circles on his back. He looked down to see Ryuuko on his one side and saw Chat Noir on his other.

“We’ve got you,” Chloe said standing in front of him, hand on his unoccupied shoulder.

He swallowed and nodded. She squeezed his upper arm and met his gaze, “Breathe, you’re safe, honey,”

So, 30 more minutes pass. They sit down and somewhere along the line Chat goes and grabs a dozen croissants from the bakery.

In another situation he might’ve laughed. He’d baked this morning’s batch and now he got to eat some of it for free, of course, technically he could get others for free too but-

The portal opened behind them and Ladybug and Viperion stepped out. He noted that she didn’t have the bag of his DNA with her anymore.

She smiled softly at him, “Now we wait,”

And wait they did.

They waited two weeks.

And then the burner phone that's number they'd given Bruce rang.

Jason froze, Marinette jumped up and ran to get it.

He couldn't move as she walked over and put the phone on speaker, she grabbed his hand and he held onto her for dear life.

"We can both hear you now, Nightwing," she said.

There was a beat of silence on the other side of the line, "Can he- If you're- can I speak to him? In- um- private?"

Marinette looked at him, and he nodded. She took the phone off speaker and handed it to him.

He held it up to his ear and squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on the circles Marinette were drawing on his hand with her thumb.

"He- hey Dick," he said. He heard his brother's breathing hitch, followed by a few seconds of silence.

"When did Batman find you?"

"25th May 2017,"

"Who's your favourite author?"

"Mary Shelley tied with Jane Austin,” he replied.

Dick stayed silent for too long and before he could stop himself the words fell from his mouth, desperation clinging to each syllable,” My favourite- my favourite playwright is Shakespeare, and my favourite school subject is English. If I could pick any day job it would be being a writer. My favourite colour is blue. Alfred has a secret fear of dolphins. You have had a ridiculously huge crush on Barbara for years and she had no idea, and I found a picture you drew under your old room's bedside table of you two getting married. I folded the picture up and hid it in a small box of memories I kept in the farthest corner of my closet under clothes I never wore. I have a round scar on the lower left side of my back where Willis Todd burned me with a cigarette when I was 5 that you don’t know I know you know about. My first Christmas at the manor you found me in the rose garden cutting a few off to take to my mother's grave and I was terrified that you would yell at me but instead you drove me to the graveyard and that was the day I decided to give you a real chance. I despise carrots but I eat them when Alfred makes them because I don't want to be a burden. And I-," he choked on a sob- when had he started crying?

He took a shuddering breath, and swallowed some of his tears, trying to make sure the words got out right, "I've missed you guys for every single second that I've been gone,"

His stomach tied itself up in a million knots as the silence stretched on. He could hear Dick moving the phone.

"Can I speak to Ladybug again please?" A female voice he didn't recognize said.

He handed the phone to Marinette and pressed his hand over his mouth to try to contain the sobs. He felt like a knife was twisting his stomach. He couldn't even hear what Marinette was saying. (I’m going through something irl and as a result u guys get to read angst by the bucketloads and I regret nothing)

Dick didn't want to talk to him. He should've just answered the question, he shouldn't have given all the extra information. Now they were never going to believe that it's really him and he would never see them again. Maybe they knew it was him and they just didn't want him-

"Jason, breathe with me," he heard Marinette's voice. His eyes latched onto hers like a lifeline, he became aware of her hands holding his.

She took his face in her hands and rested her forehead against his, in a motion so familiar that it came as easy as breathing. Well as easy as it usually was to breathe, right now excluded.

After he calmed down, she explained to him what they discussed. They would go to Gotham and meet and discuss things from there.

They wanted to meet him, but they still didn’t completely believe that it was him. He knew this for a fact because they had organized for M’gann to be there to confirm what he was saying. (Yassss M'gann my darling girl, I adore out lil Martian)

Marinette had suggested that they meet in the Batcave in an hour. Everyone had agreed. He assumed she had a plan as to why she wanted to wait. And he trusted her, so he waited for her to explain.

“I want to take the team, as backup. If you’re not comfortable with it, I want to at least take Luka. I would suggest just letting one of us wield is miraculous, but his Second Chance Timer limit is an hour so it would be most beneficial,” she said, gesturing with the hand that wasn’t holding his.

He nodded, sitting up straighter, but not releasing his grip on her hand, “We can bring the team, it’s smart to have backup. Besides if things go haywire, we have Luka to stop us.”

“Then let’s go get our team, love,”

(oh, I should probably mention that only he and LB knows everyone’s Identities. Or well rather no one knows like officially. Like everyone lowkey knows everyone's and a few of them have officially revealed themselves to each other, but not everyone is officially revealed to everyone and Mari and Jason are the only ones who aren’t officially revealed to anyone else, it’s kinda like the vibes of knowing your best friend is queer but not saying anything because they haven’t officially come out yet but like you know because they ain’t nearly as subtle as they think. Like that aesthetic.)

Anyway, 50 minutes later, they’re all gathered on the Eiffel Tower. Jason saw Marinette give Luka a nod to reset his timer. Suddenly he was enveloped in a light with a scratch that wasn’t there a few seconds before on his cheek, his expression quite annoyed.

Marinette immediately furrowed her brows, “How many times?”

Viperion shook his head, “Don’t worry, only one so far, but they try to restrain us. We’re gonna have to try plan b this time,” Everyone nodded, they waited two minutes before the agreed upon time and Mari opened a portal, but instead of appearing out in the opened, they hid in the shadowy parts of the cave.

Jason used his illusion to hide them from any observant eyes and they spread out a bit. He and Mari stayed together, Cloe flew to get a higher perspective and hide Viperion on one of the cave’s many ledges while Chat just moved a few feet away to have a slightly different hiding spot. Kagami dropped into her wind form and was flying above them to eavesdrop, she’d go to Luka if she heard anything of importance so he could go restart again.

They’d be one step ahead of the Bats no matter what they pulled, after all, they had all the time in the world.

They watched them all get into position as time neared. Jason didn’t know all the kids but recognized them from the news.

Dick, Bruce and M’gann stood near the bat computer with Barbara – who was in a wheelchair but that was a realization to deal with later- and Alfred.

The minute they were supposed to appear Jason cast another illusion to make it appear as though they had arrived. As expected, weapons and restraints immediately swarmed on them, each kid going for a different miraculous member. Too bad the images turned into orange dust as soon as they touched them.

The tiny one in the Robin uniform was red in the face and immediately started throwing a tantrum, “Father! They’ve tricked us-,”

Before he could get another word out, Chloe mass-venomed the horde of kids that we’re sent to attack them. He counted Black bat, Red Robin, Batgirl, Signal and Robin. They were all frozen in the middle of the room and before the others near the computer could move, Kagami trapped them in a (rather large) ring of fire. They had enough space to move around comfortably but if they tried approaching the edge the flames would grow larger.

Batman growled and his eyes searched through the cave, but he wouldn’t see them, no matter how hard he searched.

Jason stared at them. Dick was also searching the cave, but he seemed to look more hopeful than angry. Alfred seemed his usual calm self and Barbara was glancing around the cave more subtly. He didn’t bother looking at the rest of the batkids because M’gann was staring right at him, staying right where she was despite her ability to fly.

“Hi, Jason,” she softly spoke into his mind, he felt emotion overwhelm him, she’d known him before everything, and she knew it was him and it was a lot.

He knew she wasn’t probing around his brain for information like he was sure Bruce had asked her to, she didn’t have to, she knew it was him.

“Can you please tell me why we’re surrounded by fire?” she asked.

“We have a time traveller,” he replied.

“Ah, not a fan of Bruce’s restrain and question method, then? Can’t say I blame you, though I do think you’ve proven your point,”

“You really think it’s a good idea to release all of them?” he asked sceptically.

“… Good point. Maybe leave the brood in the middle in whatever frozen state they’re in and just let us in the fire out. They really just think it’s too good to be true… Jason, I won’t let them hurt you,”

“Okay,” he agreed softly. He turned to Marinette and gave her a slight nod. She returned with one of her own.

They walked over to Kagami’s ring of fire and he held their illusion until they were right in front of it. He held on to it for a bit to make sure everyone else would be able to stay in position. Chloe would keep the cavalry venomized and Chat and Viperion would stick to the shadows, unless necessary.

Jason dropped the illusion and watched four heads snap to him. M'gann simply gave him a soft smile and a nod of encouragement.

Kagami moved herself to stand next to Marinette and turned back into her human form, glaring at them with a silent warning.

Their attention was elsewhere, though. For a long time they just stood there and stared at one another in silence. They studied every part of one another they could see.

His eyes caught on Barbara’s wheelchair and he felt ready to destroy whatever put her there. She met his eyes and he held her gaze. She must’ve seen something there because she gave a small smile as she allowed a few tears to escape her eyes.

“Miss Martian?” Batman broke the silence like a cheap dinner plate, shattering it in a matter of seconds.

“It’s him,” M’gann answered without a hint of hesitation.

It was Alfred that moved first. He took a few hesitant steps towards him and before Jason knew it the man was in front of him. Alfred reached out and put a hand on his shoulder, desperately studying him for a moment before pulling him into a hug only Alfred could give.

It took Jason a moment to respond but when he did he returned it wholeheartedly.

After a few minutes they pulled apart and it took him a moment to realize that they’d both started crying. When he looked up Dick was only a few feet away. The moment Alfred stepped away Dick pulled him close.

“I thought you were dead, kid. I thought I’d never see you again, I thought I lost even more family. You were too young, too innocent. Fuck Jason,” Dick whispered, tightening his grip, “I’m so glad you’re alive,”

Jason held on to his brother and that night they cried about terrible endings and broken beginnings. They cried about lost time and found family.

It wasn’t the end yet, Hawkmoth was still terrorizing Paris and he had no idea what Bruce thought yet. There were all his other kids, his brothers and sisters. There were his teammates and the incredible story of how he’d been turned into a bee of all things.

They had a lot of catching up to do.

But just for a moment, a strand of a singular moment, he had his brother in his arms again and he was back home. His first real home.

Things weren’t perfect, as things rarely are but it didn’t matter. Because part of the beauty of life is how it builds and breaks us in a cycle of love and loss.

And that night they laughed with a lightness and joy none of them had fully been able to hold onto in years.

 I hope you guys enjoyed!

This is lowkey totally gonna be the au I go to when I don’t know what to write lol, maybe write a bit of what happens afterwards or a part of everything during the year he lived with Mari them or just y’know shenanigans

[seb-owns-these-tatas]

Holy Milkshake (Walter Marshall x you) (with visuals)

MASTERLIST BLOG

Characters: Walter Marshall x You

Summary: For you, ‘taking the sinner to church’ would be possible. But, not for Walter. He knew everything about you, even with the way you think that he’d taken methods of setting up a tracking device to follow you; getting him infuriated to see you having a ‘little date’ with the stalker who has murdered his exes. 

Warnings: Blasphemy. A twisted stalker. Reader being sly, also naughty and not asking Marshall for help. Date rape drugs mentioned. Suggestive content in the end. Ahem. The use of the word brat. OC named Vergil. You can imagine whoever you want for Vergil. 

Words: 1,5k +

A/N: OOF! PAPA BEAR MARSHALL! This is my first oneshot/drabble for him! I’m sorry if this look rushed! I’ve written this for only an hour and a half. This was supposed to be a drabble, but..Surprise! Ahe! I was inspired by the GIF collection of Demivampirew, which resulted for a oneshot. Mwohahahaha.I don’t even know how it ended up with Marshall sounding like a zaddy in this one. Oof!

Taglist: @fangirl-inthe-us​ @rahdaleigh​ 

REBLOG, COMMENT OR GIVE IT A LIKE, IF YOU’VE LIKED THIS SHORT ONESHOT! THANK YOU! 

Disclaimer: PNG’s used in edits are not mine even the GIF’s too. Credits to Demivampirew for the GIF collection. 

MY WORKS ARE NOT TO BE POSTED ON ANY OTHER WEBSITES. My official username in Wattpad is “TATATHEPOTATO” and that’s the only other site I have aside from Tumblr. Thank you, Tater tots!

Banana fudge milkshake.

It surprisingly tasted too sugary with every sip as your friend chattered for about an hour already since the moment you agreed on the so-called date you despise of.

The drink piped through the pillows of your lips. Your mouth wrapped on the red and white striped straw that didn't help the slight quiver of your mouth; used as a pacifier to soothe those agitated nerves you had as you were sitting before the 'friend' you thought who had no malicious intentions.

Maybe, it was a bad idea to never inform your boyfriend who could maintain the rounds of psychotic men with handcuffs and rails as a way of dealing the whole rendezvous you've planned to make.

Everything was going smooth. Probably, only an ounce of squeezed up faith as you could see the light and where this was going. If only you could start and try to slide in the conversation he somehow didn't want you to interrupt on; talking about how he was so happy to have a date with you, all those bullshit of beating around the bushes then the real discussion will surely go north.

Until, you've seen that familiar sweater who slid on to the chair beside the criminal named Vergil; the whole 'take the sinner to church' was definitely traveling down south to jail because of his sudden appearance.

You've choked on your own milkshake and coughed out some that went straight to your throat at the image of your tired, roughly bearded, curly haired police officer; sitting his sinewy, wide back on the chair with a tight, disappointed frown.

Well, someone looks mad.

"You're one word away from being tackled to the ground," the man beside him jumped from his interruption, making the chair shriek from being shocked at seeing Marshall sat beside him, all brooding and serious.

It was an ear-piercing sound that caught some of the diner's attention. You've given them a tight lipped smile before they went on to their daily activities and conversations inside the restaurant as you looked rather safe especially that Marshall was already with you.

Your boyfriend continued to give you a glare, his perspective solely on what he was seeing in front of him. His precious little lady sitting in the same table with her perverted stalker. He definitely couldn't believe that you've taken it too far, trying to help this person to change when it needed stones and brutal punishments or long life realizations for a rotten man like Vergil.

Walter was undoubtedly disappointed and furious.

His bright Cerulean eyes were sharp, brutal and piercing as he continued to focus on you, "Your car has multiple bags of heroin and drugs that can tranquilize people if taken in enough dosage---fucking date rape drugs," though, the message was sent to Vergil who was beginning to shit bricks as soon as he'd seen the gun tucked in Marshall's pants.

Walter grabbed onto his hand cuffs, abruptly throwing them on the table as he continued to spit fire. Shoulders tense and his expressions livid, "It's either you put these on," he hissed after throwing the cuffs towards Vergil, his eyes fixated on you as it was silently telling you how displeased he was for your acts, "---or I'll do it myself. But, you'll regret it."

You've let out a sigh. Deep inside, you were relieved because he would save you from Vergil's annoying chatters but somehow irked to know he had you tracked or have given you a tracking device to soothe his protective and utmost crazy antics for trying to keep you safe; out of harms way.

"You were following me, Lovey. Where's the tracking device?"

Your boyfriend gave you a scornful, tight lipped smile. A sudden change of his features that got your heart racing on how attractive he still was for getting his pants in a twist from your shenanigans.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

A grin was sent to him, "My milkshake brings all the boys to my yard?" and you couldn't help but motion for both men who sat before you with Vergil obviously trying hard to think of an escape plan.

He'd faintly shook his head in sheer disappointment.

"Funny." Walter gave a sluggish, nonchalant response as he rolled off his shoulders, leaning his crossed arms on the table as his anger was boiling in a temperature that tells; you were in a much more danger than having lunch with your stalker, "This guy over here---" he gave a curt nod to his side, "---This perverted asshole has retrieved belongings from you---some definitely personal items and you think he'll read a bible or repent over the women he killed if you calmly tell him all about it?"

You fidgeted and chewed the straw in your mouth, watching Walter seethe and heavily sigh from your response, "People change."

"Not dumbfucks like him, sweetheart." he spat, jaw clenching to the extent of seeing the muscles in his neck strain.

Marshall briefly gave him a glimpse as he called out the elephant in the room, quickly regretting because of how he wanted him to rot in the jail for years or forever, "---Don't you, Vergil?"

Vergil began to shake his leg as he sat, nervous and utterly anxious for what was about to come. His face turned red in rage, breathing staggered as he gave you glare; feeling betrayed when he should've been scared for his life because you knew his secretive, twisted habits. Stalking his target, knowing their houses and where they lived, grabbing onto personal things that his target loved using or wearing; panties, bras and those sorts before finding ways to befriend you till he could manipulate and end up loving you up until the point that he could kill for you.

The toxic type of love that seemed to be out of hand in which he has murdered his exes due to jealousy and other unreasonable explanations.

"I knew it! I fucking knew you were plotting this whole fucking thing with your fucking bodyguard over here---"

Marshall gave him a grumpy retort, "Boyfriend is a much more better term,"

Vergil's forehead was popping out veins as he exclaimed, thoroughly in fury for what you've brought him in, "Your boyfriend's part of the police force!"

You languidly blinked back, sipping on the last bits of your milkshake. Did he really not know that he was part of the police force? you puckered your lips at the silent thought; droning as you went on in admiring how you've raised Walter's hackles.

"---He cares and just loves me too much. He followed me. Didn't text him, tho. But, I assure you. He's no twisted stalker like you, Vergil. You certainly need to rot in hell,"

Walter knew you were liking this whole safeguard thing. It was all an act from you because he could see the tiny flicker of mockery in those beautiful eyes; knowing that you've gotten under his skin from the sudden tea party you've worked on.

Though, a pity party for you.

Walter gave him a glance, nodding towards the door where two police officers stood and waited for the catch, "Now, you'll meet two men out on the threshold. In less than one minute, if you're still here planning on kowtowing to lessen the punishments then you're a dunce."

Your boyfriend eyed him sternly, motioning for the handcuffs that rested on the table; saying its hello to its new capture, "What will---what---"

Vergil stammered and shakily took the handcuffs in front of him, scoffing when he heard Marshall grumble with a knowing tone of his that poured a little bit of his accent.

"You're under arrest for fuck's sake. Not quite complicated to understand, isn't it?"

Once the stalker was out of sight, being harshly taken by your boyfriend's co-workers; you couldn't help but emit a shaky breath, palms sweating a lot more than it ever did when Vergil was around because this time you were enthusiastic of what was about to happen in between an enraged police officer and his deceitful little woman.

"Oh, Lovey."

You've heard another set of metal chiming against each other. Yet, this time; the handcuffs were thrown towards you. His face etching in complete seriousness and disappointment. Though, inside those ocean eyes, you knew there was a hint of mischief and passion.

"Put these on." he rasped in full authority, his beard looking so inviting for wanting a short visit in between your throbbing heat since the moment he came to interfere.

"---Because you've been bad, sweetheart," pause. "---and I have zero patience for brats like you,"

You squirmed against your seat, hastily grabbing onto the handcuffs thrown on the table with a grin on your face, subtly looking outside to see your boyfriend's truck parked at the far distance before plucking the manacles off the table and sliding off the seat; with your lieutenant paying for the lunch he loathed, feeling his eyes heavy and thoroughly deprived of seeing your face after nose diving in murder cases he had been working on for weeks.

Marshall hated to see you leave. Those peepers trained on how you've dramatically swayed your hips while you waved the cuffs in the air.

But, he loved watching you go with that naughty derriere snapping from side to side.

THANK YOU FOR READING! STAY SAFE WHERE EVER YOU ARE, BB’S! Watch out for people who have wicked intentions for you! Don’t trust easily!

[hey-its-nonny]

Chapter Seven

soooo before you try and murder me for that cliffhanger, know i’m sorry for that ending (not really lol) 😅 also, a note, there’s a bit of a “recap” at the beginning. it’ll be in italics

warnings: this chapter starts off with (in my opinion) pretty heavy angst, has like one(?) swear word, and will probably end with a bit of spice? not nsfw tho, we don’t do that here.

UGH i talk a lot. sorry.

enjoy!!

~~~~~~ You were both panting, faces nearly inches apart as the crowd roared with applause. You both laughed, smiles bright. Careful not to spoil the moment, you leaned in, Legolas doing the same until your lips just barely brushed.

You let your eyes start to flutter shut until you felt Legolas hesitate.

In his deep blue eyes, you saw that same pain and sorrow in his eyes in replacement on the joy in them seconds ago. He pulled back, lifting you up to stand up straight. You stared at him, searching for an explanation as to what just happened.

He shook his head, turning around to leave you alone, deserted on the dance floor.

You stood there, watching Legolas leave you alone with no explanation. Though, you had a feeling you knew why he left you there. Still panting, everyone watched in shock while the elf walked away.

For one thing, you were a little angry. You didn’t understand the point of leading someone on, only to deny them affections when the time came. Maybe you just read into it too much and dreamt up a false romance. But then, why did Legolas lean in? People thought men were complicated.

Finally, you shook yourself from your thoughts, running from the celebration to find Legolas. You hiked up your skirt and chased after the elf, wondering where on earth he could’ve gone. Then, it clicked. With a shiver, you ran against the breeze, heading for the frost-bitten hills.

———

You took a breath, the chill of the wind biting at the nape of your neck. Tugging at the cloak Legolas had given you, you kept on hiking up the icy hill. You were determined to find Legolas and sort this out, whatever it may be.

You shivered, the wind blowing the cloak from it’s warm position around your torso, much to your frustration. “Legolas?” You called, voice trembling as you shook in the bitter and unforgiving cold.

You huffed in slight exhaustion, watching the almost completely transparent cloud of your breath dissipate into the dark sky. “Legolas, I’m being serious! We need to talk.” You called out, the hooded figure you’d been searching for coming into view.

While relieved to see him, the weight of what had just happened came down on your shoulders all at once. You’d almost kissed Legolas. On the lips. You could blame it on the heat of the moment and forget everything that had just happened, but you knew you’d be lying to Legolas. You had a feeling he’d know it too.

Trudging through the mushy snow, you sighed in exasperation. Just as you turned around and gave up, you heard a silent breath behind you. “You’re right, Y/n.” He said, voice deep and cautious while he placed a hand on your shoulder, sending shivers down your spine.

You spun around to meet those cerulean blue eyes, your breath hitching in your throat. “We need to talk.” He finished, earning a quiet nod from you.

———

You sat on your small bed with a huff, suddenly very interested in the way your blanket felt between your fingertips. Legolas stood still, brows creased in deep thought.

You stood, shaking off your nerves as best you could. ”Alright,“ You breathed, forcing yourself to look at Legolas.

“Why did you walk away?” You asked, your expression conveying slight hurt.

The elf sighed, slightly slumping his shoulders in defeat. “I don’t know.” He replied, his eyes betraying him. He wasn’t being honest.

You frowned, taking a bold step toward Legolas. “Really?“ Your voice was quiet, conveying your concerns and sadness. “That’s the best you’ve got?“ You asked, releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

He turned his back to you. “Please.” He quietly pleaded, clearly unwilling to share his true feelings.

You weren’t having it.

If he left you alone of the dance floor to be pitied by others, then he would give you a damn good reason why.

“Legolas,” You replied, taking another step towards him. “please just tell me why.”

He sighed, shoulders tensing up. “Y/n.” He warned, already irritated with the situation he’d placed himself in.

You snapped. “Just tell me why! I don’t understand!” You pushed, taking a final step towards the elf.

With a grunt, Legolas turned around, his face red. “Because I was afraid!” He shouted, immediately causing you to jump away from him.

You’d never heard him shout before. At least, not at you. Either way, you didn’t like it.

He saw your reaction and took a breath, his eyes conveying fear and remorse. “I still am.” He breathed out, voice low and broken.

You straightened your back, taking a small step towards him. “Of what?” You boldly inquired, placing a hand on your chest.

No reply.

So, you asked again. Except this time, you spoke as gently as you could, all while placing the hand once on your chest on Legolas’ shoulder.

“Legolas, what are you afraid of?” You asked, your voice soft and honeyed.

Finally, Legolas replied. “Getting my heart broken again.” He sighed, his blue eyes boring into you.

You felt a sharp pain in your chest, using your other hand to gently touch the elf’s cheek. “Legolas,” You breathed, only growing more confident as you spoke. ”you know I would never do anything to hurt you, don‘t you?”

With the way Legolas looked at you, you couldn’t help but continue. “And if I’m being purely and completely honest,” You huffed, closing your eyes. “I think I just might love you.” You stated, cheeks burning.

And as if the whole situation had changed, something in Legolas’ eyes told you to kiss him. Fortunately, he beat you to it. He leaned in and pressed his lips to yours, gentle and caring with each touch.

It was incredible. You leaned against Legolas’ chest, completely lost in the feeling of his lips against your own. You allowed yourself a sweet little hum, trailing your hand up Legolas’ cheek and into his surprisingly soft hair.

In response, Legolas snaked an arm around your waist, gently pushing you against the wall. You grinned into the kiss, unable to stop yourself from laughing.

You kissed him! After all these months of pining and tip-toeing around each other, it finally happened.

Unfortunately, at some point, you both would have to breathe.

Legolas pulled away, suddenly very interested in the dirty floor, cheeks undeniably red. He panted, pressing his forehead against yours.

”So,” you grinned, panting as well. “what now?” You hummed, nearly beaming at the flustered elf before you.

The elf simply hummed, eyes swirling with mischief. He leaned in to kiss you again, his warm breath tickling your skin.

Your lips connected again, moving perfectly in sync. This time, however, it was somehow different; more passionate. You hummed again, earning a satisfied groan from Legolas.

That was new.

You allowed the elf to pick you up, walking towards the small bed to set you down. Had Legolas not lost his footing and dropped you on the bed, (thankfully) you might have gone a little bit further.

Instead, you both laughed, faces undeniably lit aflame at the silly interruption. The fits of giggles rang in the comfortable silence until you both settled down, rather tired from earlier’s events.

You smiled at the elf, scooting over. “Lie with me?”

With cheeks redder than a tomato, he nodded, lying beside you with an idiotic grin.

Legolas beckoned for you to lie on his chest, already fighting to keep his eyes open.

You obliged, nuzzling into his chest with a soft, content hum.

And in that moment, it seemed like everything would be okay.

~~~~~~ this was short and crappy but i guess go off lol

what do you think is gonna happen next? i love hearing conspiracy theories :)

tags: @eru-vande @thewhiteladyofrohan @from-patroclus-with-love @elvish-sky @entishramblings @iwenttomordor @wishingtobeinadifferentuniverse @redheadedfaye @ophieles @raven-exmralds @ahs0katan

[nyanberri]

I've finally finished the first set! It's the same kids again tho, lol. But next time will be never before seen characters! So I wanted to get everyone drawn in the Omniverse style so I could visualize it all properly and it also made for a good opportunity to tweak designs as needed. They're all heavily referenced from official art so I could get it perfect and it made for great practice too! Of course I added some personal touches to the art style too cuz if I didn't it would have bothered me too much, lol.

Anyway, below the cut are finally proper profiles for all the kids and some additional info as well!

M'kay, so before we get started on the kids' bios, it's important to specify this is an alternate universe. And I don't mean it's an AU of the Prime Dimension. This is quite literally another universe within the omniverse. It's a mostly untouched one that even Paradox, Eon, and Maltruant have never been to and therefore a lot of things are different while a lot of things are still the same tho. It's unofficially called the Feniverse cuz Fen is the main character, but it does have a more official name. I'm just, uh… not aware of what that name is yet, lol!

Anyway, the Ben in this dimension branches off from the development of Prime Ben. Anybody remember the fact that the very first Ben 10K episode said Ben became the way he did in the future cuz he killed Vilgax by ripping him to pieces? Yep! That's what this Ben did too! But obviously he doesn't end up exactly like that Ben 10K. But so this dimension's Ben is therefore officially labelled Slayer Ben since some people refer to him as 'The Vilgax Slayer'. And that experience did definitely screw him up pretty bad, which is why he's so different from both Prime and 10K.

So from left to right:

Name: Fenrick Fih Rook-Tennyson

Age: 13

Height: 5'1

Voice: Todd Haberkorn

Bio: Fen is Ben and Rook's son. He has always been known for being quiet, surprisingly wise for his age, and quite the troublemaker. In actuality, only two of these things are true. Fen is more calm than he seems and as a young child he wasn't much of a talker, giving people the perception that he's quiet. Unfortunately, Fen also has many great ideas that end up badly. However, his ideas always come from the desire to help someone or solve a problem, but he always gets caught when his plans fall apart, making it look like he causes trouble. Some people even accuse him of trouble he didn't start, not helping his reputation. And as the son of Ben 10 of all people, he tends to be held to higher expectations. His wisdom never ceases to amaze people either. Even Ben and Rook get surprised at the wisdom he recites, wondering where exactly he learned it all. Due to that, he tends to put up a fight whenever himself or someone else gets wronged. He especially defends his friends and fellow alien kids in town. Although his only true friends seem to consist of his childhood friend, Millie, and his cousin, Sven.

At the age of 13, Fen discovered his ability to transform into a couple dozen of Ben's aliens. He quickly aspired to become a hero like his parents, much to Ben's disapproval, who worries about his safety. Despite that, Fen wants to form a hero trio with Sven and Millie and become the next generation of heroes in the galaxy.

Developer's Notes:

Fen's almost always been the same since I first created him, with just a few design and character tweaks done to him. He used to have a talent for jewelry making but that was switched out for him being wise for his age. He was also a bit more generic as far as the upbeat and reckless young male protagonist with famous parents archetype goes, but he's been adjusted enough that he now stands out from that archetype. Or, at least I hope, lol. Also, funny thing to note, Fenrick is not a real name! The closest name there is is Fenwick and iirc, that's a last name! I considered changing it to Fenwick or even Fenick but Fenrick is too special to me. His, uh, unfortunate name even has an impact in-universe with him being embarrassed by it and some using it to make fun of him. Also in-universe, I chalk it up to Ben having a dumb moment by misremembering the name Fenwick and Rook not knowing any better to catch Ben's mistake. Also, if you think his hair style is stupid, good. That's the point. He wanted it like that when he was seven and Ben and Rook were like 'sure' and it's been like that ever since.

Name: Millicent

Age: 13

Height: 5'0

Voice: Jennifer Paz

Bio: Millie is Ester's daughter. Her biological father is a human who decided he didn't want to be a father and Antonio soon stepped up to fill the father role when he and Ester got married. She has been friends with Fen and Sven since they were all babies. Millie is the level-headed one of the group and has been noted as being oddly emotionless. Her tone of voice is almost always flat and she usually keeps a straight face when not looking nervous. She never intends to be rude, but she will bluntly say whatever comes to her mind to her peers. At the same time, she can be nervous about making bold decisions and hates being a part of any decision making. She either refuses to do anything, or apologizes profusely for making a decision even when nothing bad happens.

Due to being more human than Kraaho, Millie is perfectly capable of handling the temperatures of Bellwood. However, she is still a bit sensitive to cold temperatures and needs to bundle up more than others during the winter. She sadly cannot handle the heat in the Hot Spot for very long either. Much to Millie's dismay, she was not born with the Kraaho's stretching ability. No one can figure out why, but it's simply something she can't do. As a result, she considers herself a normal human and has resigned herself to the fact that 'normal' is simply all she will ever be. Despite this, she has taken up quite a big secret that contradicts her decision and expresses who she wishes she really was.

Developer's Notes:

Millie only ever had one design change with her outfit and slight adjustment to the way her hair works and she's been the same ever since. Since the beginning she was always calm and stoic and I've always worried that she doesn't have much of a presence or purpose, but now I feel like she plays off Fen and Sven well enough that she stands out thanks to them. I've always flipped back and forth between Fen and/or Millie having a crush on each other, but I've finally settled on them both just seeing each other as near and dear loyal friends. It ultimately works out better that way and doesn't cause conflict with Millie's personal story or Fen's real love interest(and the one other character with feelings for him). Her name also used to be Mina, but since I've now taken that as one of my own names, it felt really awkward to keep her as that. I used to have a habit of naming characters with names I wanted before realizing I could change my name in the future, lol.

Name: Sven Elijah Levin

Age: 12

Height: 4'8

Voice: Wally Wingert

Bio: Sven is Gwendolyn and Kevin's son and Jenny's older brother. Sven is a rather unfortunate boy. He is constantly terrified of everything to the point of running millions of 'bad ends' through his head. He can barely talk most of the time without being a stuttering mess and always thinks he's going to be in trouble for anything and everything he does. Everyone is certain he either has severe anxiety or paranoia, or likely both. Perhaps even more. Who knows. Sven tends to cling to his cousin, Fen, who he looks to for guidance and advice, most of which isn't anything Sven should actually be following. Because he is a grade below Fen and Millie, he's often left alone to deal with problems in his own classes, or really just panic about them. He does, however, have a close relationship with Zed and likes to be the one to take her out on walks in the afternoon. And not many people know it, but he's actually a pretty decent artist.

Even though he is an Osmosian thanks to being Kevin's son, no one knows what ability he may have. It doesn't really matter though, since he wants to stay out of any potential trouble that having powers could bring him. Regardless of that, he has an interest in magic thanks to Gwendolyn's expertise in it. He even sneaks peeks at her spellbook and the strange bag she keeps in her office that he can hear a voice coming from at night.

Developer's Notes:

Now Sven is a character whose personality has always been pretty much the same while his design was never consistent until reaching his current one. He was originally very anime looking and in a gaudy orange outfit that I regret even thinking about, lol. He looks much better in neutral colors. I guess there's not much to say on him though, which makes me worry he's a tad unremarkable, but perhaps it's just since I'm leaving out the things about him that are better left discovering on your own… if I ever get to finishing that fic that is… ahaha.

Name: Saki Boulais

Age: 13

Height: 4'11

Voice: Stephanie Sheh

Bio: Julie and Hervé's daughter, one of the more popular girls in school, and the most deceptive in town. Saki has gone her whole life, since the first time she told a successful lie, tricking people into thinking she's a completely innocent little girl who's never done anything wrong. This allows her to get away with anything she wants, and she especially enjoys getting Fen in trouble when they butt heads with each other. The two have even been enemies since they first met at age three and Saki pulled Fen's tail, he pulled her hair in return, and she managed to get away with claiming he started it. Their feud has even turned into murderous intent, which Saki refuses to hide.

On a lighter note, Saki always has the company of her two best friends, Rachel and Diane, who will gladly join her in her tormenting of others. Saki even greatly admires the most popular girl in school, Fiona, and whoever the mysterious new hero girl, Miracle-M, is.

Developer's Notes:

Yes, Saki was always meant to be That Bitch in the cast. I feel like it's unrealistic to have all next gen kids be friends and get along with each other. It's perfectly believable to have some of them dislike, and in Saki and Fen's case, even hate each other. It makes it more interesting with them being Ben and Julie's kids respectively too. Adds good drama, lol. But anyway, really the only thing that's changed about Saki is her hairstyle and some other slight design tweaks like her necklace, shorts, and shoes. I also just recently changed her colors from purple and blue-ish purple to just blue so that isn't not all three girls here wearing purple. She also looks better in blue and it contrasts nicely with Julie's pink imo. I suppose I do worry about her being disliked since she's so antagonistic and with her being Julie's daughter, I really hope her character doesn't send the wrong message since I genuinely love Julie a lot. It really is just For The Drama Of It All. I think it's really fun to watch her go into full 'Murder Fen' mode too. Very fun to write, lol. Oh right, also Boulais is my headcanon last name for Herve. I just wanted her to have his last name but he doesn’t have one! So I had to pick one for myself.

Name: Jennifer Elizabeth Levin

Age: 10

Height: 4'6

Voice: Brina Palencia

Bio: Jenny is Gwendolyn and Kevin's daughter and Sven's younger sister. She is surprisingly serious and stoic for her age. She gets annoyed by her family's constant 'abnormal' status and wishes everyone could just act normal with no weird events happening. She throws herself into school work as a means to keep herself out of it and tries to keep her personal life at school with friends far away from her life involving family. She seems to have a quick temper, but really she just acts that way to get what she wants since she knows it works and in the hopes that she can use it as an opportunity to vent her frustrations. She hates getting involved in her brother and cousin Fen's antics, but sometimes her no nonsense attitude is needed to resolve a situation. She has a strange obsession with eating bread, finding it the perfect food and almost always exclusively eating something with bread involved. Gwendolyn definitely worries about her diet, but Kevin finds it harmless.

She may not have the spark like her mother, but she doesn't dare confess that her status as an Osmosian became very apparent just recently. As a result, she has a stash of broken objects stuffed under her bed and cracked floorboards that she covers with her rug.

Developer's Notes:

Jenny went through a decent redesign. Character wise I feel like I still don't have some things etched in stone for her as I still haven't gotten to the point in my writing where she does anything of interest. She could honestly probably end up pretty different from her bio here if I'm not careful, lol. The characters write themselves as they say after all! But I definitely prefer the newer Jenny compared to the previous way I envisioned her character, which was designed to fit a character type I actually hate just cuz I felt it worked for her. Thankfully I can avoid it tho with the big overhaul I did after returning to these characters. And I do like Jenny cuz I like writing her dialogue, but it still feels like her character is still that of a person I would not wanna be around, lol.

Name: Bevel Tennyson

Age: 20

Height: 5'9

Voice: Dee Bradley Baker/Yuri Lowenthal

Bio: Bevel is the youngest of the Big Chill offspring born twenty years ago. They were in an accident involving a passing spaceship on their way to Kylmyys that damaged their right wing to the point they could no longer fly. It's suspected the wing has severe nerve damage, making Bevel unable to unfold it as well. Their siblings helped them make it the rest of the way to Kylmyys, but over the years, the dangers of Kylmyys left the siblings with only Bevel and the eldest two, Emboss and Curve, remaining. As they got older, Bevel could never forget their only memory of their parent, who the others didn't remember. A desire to reunite with their parent caused Bevel to make the lone decision to explore the universe in search of their parent.

Bevel is a very cheerful and sweet person, but their secluded upbringing and lack of knowledge about Earth makes them very naive. They will believe anything they are told and have a very black and white moral view due to not understanding nuance. They have strange habits that appear unnatural in their attempt to act human and have an intense craving for Earth candy. They have also taken up being a mercenary to get by after leaving Kylmyys and once they join the Tennyson family, Rook suggests they use the skills they've picked up to become a Plumber, but that's an idea Ben isn't fully onboard with.

Developer's Notes:

Right off the bat I want to shout out that his old human design used to keep the Necrofriggian antennae. I still think it's a cute design even tho it wasn't canon compliant with the antennae. The only things that have changed about him too are just that, his hair style, and his shoes. Plus I stuck bunny ears on his hoodie recently as a shout out to those antennae he used to have. Otherwise he's always been the same. And I guess I haven't explained why he has a human form, but that's also an answer to discover later. I didn't draw his Necrofriggian form tho cuz we should all know what the UAF design looks like(and yes I am screwing with art style difference bullshit cuz OV Big Chill is not real and you cannot convince me otherwise). And I also just realized his pronouns aren't matching up in this section so I should add his official pronouns are he/they, but characters refer to him by he/him and narration uses they/them. He is still a Necrofriggian and therefore doesn't do the whole gender thing after all. Which is why he's fine with anyone viewing him as whatever they want to too. He just goes with it. That's also why he doesn't get what's weird about him calling Ben 'Mother' after he learned the word, lol.

[robotslenderman]

Eternal Hearts Liveblog Part 6: Chapters 11-12

I got to the first draft of this liveblog straight after editing the last one. I am on my second El Diablo, because Eternal Hearts calls for it. It isn’t even 5 o’clock.

It took me a while to finish this tho because it was literally weeks before I touched a cocktail again due to Health Stuff, and I cannot do this shit sober. I will probably regret this cocktail tomorrow but ‘tis the price I am willing to pay to bring you all this steaming heap of dogshit that is Eternal Hearts!

*Audience applauds*

We start off with Becca finding her fridged girlfriend.

Poor thing.

Well. Things. Poor both of them.

This week’s trigger warnings: Blood and (non-sexual, for once) torture. Also random masturbator. Surprisingly tame for EH!

Baby :(

Luckily, Francine’s body has been removed, but nobody’s cleaned up. Well. Reality Ensues and all that. Somebody has to clean up, and it’s not ever the cops that do it. :/

There is blood everywhere. On the walls, carpet, mirrors, bed, etc.

A cop calmly informs Becca of “as many details as she could stand to hear” instead of telling her to stop contaminating a crime scene.

Even Lucy knows when it’s time to be somber.

Except for the bit where they desecrated the corpse, anyway. 😥

Becca, as she is asked questions by the cops, cottons on pretty quickly that what happened to Francine was meant for her.

She goes to the park. Sits down. Has a moment to herself.

Then the Homeless Masturbator (spellcheck is like “that isn’t a word”) that jumped David decides to give her shit, so Becca nopes out.

Yeah I’d do that too

(Leo, BTW, is the person who called the cops and alerted them to Francine’s death.)

Chapter 11 was very short. On to chapter 12!

We are now with Emmet as he prays in a cathedral.

if you’re worried about the edge

Emmet looks around and reflects

Buddy, just wait ‘til you have to live through the 2016 election

Then Emmet tells us a little secret: under this cathedral is a network of catacombs, known only to Emmet, Becca, and a few in the Society of Leopold.

Oh, and the fucking Nosferatu, because they used to squat in it.

But not any more. Emmet discovered the Warren and drove them out or destroyed them. Now it’s a dungeon for Kindred in a much different way.

(As in, they lock the poor bastards in there. Not, you know, the kinky kind. Surprising for Eternal Hearts, I know!!!!)

Emmet goes down into the catacombs, then goes into the deep areas not even Becca and Tony know about.

We find out what happened to Odette:

Odette is obviously not very happy about being kidnapped again, even if it’s by humans this time around. Can’t say I blame her, given how horny Tony was at the time.

Odette is the Chew Toy of this novel. Poor fuck.

Emmet is actually somewhat reasonable, bc he’s like “dude if I let you go you might run away straight back to the vamps and that’s, like, a totally bad idea”

ofc he has to be fucking religious about it

and then:

jesus fucking christ

Victoria Ash has been fucking with poor Odette’s head, as Kindred are wont to do:

And aww --

Look! Emmet’s being so ni --

god fucking damn it.

Odette comes onto Emmet, because of course she does, and Emmet is squicked but also turned on, because of course he is.

what the FUCK, Emmet

Becca walks in on them to tell Emmet about Francine (he wasn’t answering his phone) and her reaction is... pretty much exactly the same. Like “dude why the fuck are you torturing her?!”

and Emmet’s like “you weren’t supposed to see that”

And Becca is like “CLEARLY”

Emmet gives Becca the key, and Becca frees Odette.

Becca takes a crying Odette inside, then comes back to tell her father she’s p much done with the whole thing.

Emmet tries to talk her out of it, to which Becca is like “DUDE my girlfriend just got MURDERED can you NOT???”

And with that, we end chapter twelve!

[juviaafullbuster]

@tigerfire54 (It's a side blog) Kinda humourous - Gruvia finds out babybuster is a firemage because of a mutation in their DNA (pls make it extremely hilarious(or not) it's up to you) 🌸🌸🌸

Thank you for the request. I was a little challenged honestly because I'm more of a fluff and angst writer and also not really funny, but I tried my best.. 😅

I changed it up a little, with the DNA thing, I really hope you still like it tho!

*************************************************

"NATSU!"

Gray came running into the guild hall, eyes out for the dragon slayer. He found him sitting on a bench with Lucy, acting all lovey dovey. When he heard Gray call for him, Natsu immediately got up, forgetting about trying to make Lucy swoon and instead ready for a nice traditional fight. He was surprised to be honest. Ever since Gray and Juvia became parents, Gray has been pretending to be all mature and responsible. Now on the other hand, he reminded him quite of his old self. Cold, determined and.. angry? Why did he look so angry? The closer Gray came to him, the more worried Natsu became because even he could tell, this wasn't going to be one of their friendly brawls. Gray was furious and his eyes were screaming murder.

Before he knew what was happening Natsu was thrown against the wall of the guild hall.

"What the hell?"

"Funny, I was about to ask you the same thing." Gray took a hold of Natsu shirt, lifting him up and throwing a strong punch.

"Gray, let him down!" Lucy was desperately trying to remove Gray from Natsu but to no avail. Gray had a death grip on him. He saw some of the guild members staring, but at that moment he couldn't care less.

From the corner of his eye Natsu saw Grays two sons, Silver and Storm, entering the guild hall.

"Dad, stop!" Silver seemed desperate and worried. If only his mom was around, but she was still on the mission with his uncle Gajeel.

Gray glanced to his kids, but didn't let loose.

"Explain!"

"Explain what?"

Gray gestured for his younger son, Storm, to come over. While Silver was a mini version of him, Storm almost had no feature alike with him. He was pretty much the male version of Juvia. Gray wasn't bothered by that, Juvia was pretty so it was a win for the boy really. What bothered him a lot though, was the powers that they had discovered today.

"Storm, show him what you managed to do today." The younger boy didn't seem to register his father's angered state because he just smiled innocently before opening his palm and presenting... a flame?

A hot, glaring, red one.

The whole guild went quite in a matter of seconds. It couldn't be, could it..? Everyone was staring at the flame, desperately trying to make sense of the situation? Ice and water can't make a child with fire powers. It doesn't add up. Unless..

..much more went on on those missions Natsu used to take with Juvia sometimes. It had surprised every body back then. Natsu and Juvia were never exactly close. So why did they suddenly go on so many missions together? Could it be.. an affair?

The gasp when the realization hit everyone were not to be overheard. Well, at least it hit almost everyone. Because Natsu seemed oblivious to everyone's train of thoughts.

"That's awesome! Who teached you that?"

Gray glared at Natsu.

"Noone you ash-brain! They just appeared but unlike Silvers ice power, Storms aren't like mine nor Juvias."

"So? Fire is much better than ice anyway.."

"You've got to be kidding me.." Lucy sighed, not quite sure how to deal with the situation. "Natsu, he thinks you're having an affair with Juvia."

"What?" Natsu looked at her dumbfounded before finally registering the message. "Oh."

"Oh. THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY!?" Elfman sprung to action, holding Gray back who was about to lunch at Natsu all over again.

"Gray, I think you need to calm down and think straight. Do you really believe he would do that?"

"Yes, he's an idiot after all. Wouldn't be the first time I misjudged him."

"Okay.. do you believe Juvia would do that?"

Gray calmed down slowly, finally actually giving his conclusion some thoughts. He didn't have to think long before finding his answer.

"No.."

"Exactly. Now sit down and let us think what might be the actual reason for this."

Gray grumbled an okay, before sitting down on the bench he had knocked Natsu off not that long ago.

"You're right. I don't know what I was thinking. Juvia would never do that. She wouldn't cheat on me. Especially not with someone like him.."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Natsu glared at him, ready to start another fight.

"I think its self explanatory. As if Juvia would sink so low and go out with someone like you."

"Say that to my face you perverted popsicle!"

"I just did, you flame brain! See, that's what I mean, you're way too stupid for her!"

"Who are you calling stupid!?"

"Obviously you, you idiot."

"I'll show you, you damn ice prick!"

"I'd like to see you try, ash brain."

And once again, there were punches being thrown.

"What about Totomaru?"

Gary halted his punch, glaring at Natsu.

"What about him?"

"He was with Juvia in Element 4, right? And he was a fire mage too.."

Lucy glared at Natsu in disbelief. The boy never remembers anything and now out of all the times, his memory worked?

Gray took a step back, registering what Natsu just said.

"No way.. Juvia.. Juvia wouldn't.."

Talking about the devil. Juvia walked into the guild hall accompanied by Gajeel.

"There you are. Juvia has been looking for you. Juvia missed her boys." She opened her arms and caught her sons, enveloping them in a tight hug.

"Don't you dare say a word." Gray whispered to Natsu. He'd talk to her about this later, in private.. he made enough of a scene already. Natsu nodded after Lucy elbowed him slightly.

"How have my boys been?"

"Great. But daddy is mad.." Silver glanced at his father who's eyes suddenly became huge.

"Why? Graysama, what's wrong?" Juvia looked at Gray with worry. There's no way she did it.. not with the way shes looking at him. There would be another explanation.

"Daddy thinks you're cheating."

"WHAT!?"

Juvia jumped up, immediately running to Gray. "WHAT THE HELL? GRAYSAMA, WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT!?" The water mage already had tears in her eyes. And Gray realized he's an idiot. No way, she did it.

"Calm down, it's a misunderstanding.. It's.. it's just Storm."

"What about him? Is my baby okay?"

The little boy appeared next to his mom, tears filling his eyes. Now he looked even more like Juvia.

"Daddy doesn't like my powers.." Storm sniffled, while demonstaring the flame in his hands. Juvia stared at it before looking at the situation around her and watching the bruise that was starting to form on Natsus face.

"Gray, did you.. did you think Juvia cheated on you.. with Natsu?"

"Well, I.. I mean."

"Juvia would never cheat on you! Especially not with.." she glanced at Natsu "..him."

"HEY!"

"Told you!" Gray looked at Natsu smugly, proud of his wife. The wife that was glaring daggers his way.

"JUVIA CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! AFTER EVERYTHING. YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT! JUVIA IS SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU GRAYSAMA!" Juvia let out a sob, turning her back to Gray.

"No, Juvia listen.. I don't, I mean.."

"Ha, you're so whipped, you popsicle!"

"Shut it, you flame brain!"

And chaos erupted once again. Lucy was desperately trying to hold back Gray and Natsu who were once again throwing punches at each other. Juvia was bawling her eyes out, drowning the guild hall while Storm was proudly showing of his flames to his older brother and the other kids.

"What the hell is going on here!? I demand an explanation."

The whole guild froze while Erza glared at the bunch. She had just walked in, followed by the Shadow gear group.

It was Lucy who dared to speak up after a long awkward silence. She explained everything in a hurry.

"I see."

"That's all you are going to say?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"Fair point."

"Can I say something?" Levy spoke up behind her.

"Sure."

"I have the explanation."

"Huh?" Every head turned to her, eagerly waiting for her to continue.

"The kids played with some of my potions yesterday. I found an empty bottle, one which changes your powers into the opposite. Turns out, it was Storm who drank it.." Levy laughed a little awkwardly, waiting for the reactions.

Gray glared at his son.

"Is that true?"

"Oh yes, the twins said I'd become much stronger if I drink it all."

"ARE YOU SERIOUS? I CANT BELIEVE YOU. AND WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO FROM THE START? ALSO, DON'TJUST DRINK STUFF. IT COULD HAVE TURNED OUT EVEN WORSE!" He scolded his son, furious with the whole situation. Juvia on the other hand was surprisingly quiet.

"Aren't you going to say something?" Gray glanced at the blunette, waiting for a response.

"That means, he got Juvias water powers right? Because water and fire are opposites?"

Levy nodded at Juvias question. "Exactly. The spell should work off anytime soon now though."

Juvia grinned proudly, lifting up her son and completely forgetting about the whole cheating accusations and the scolding she was supposed to do. She couldn't stay mad at her boys for long anyway.

"Juvia is so happy, she'll teach you everything. Let's go, mama will show you the water lock. It's what she first used on your dad."

Gray was deep in thoughts, thinking about how to apologize for ever thinking so bad about his wife while looking at her retreating form, before finally registering what she just said.

"Juvia, wait, no! You can't teach him something so dangerous yet, get back her!"

He ran after her, followed by Silver, who was grinning from ear to ear.

"What a weird family I have.."

[kdramaftme]

Kdrama recommendations!

I’ve been wanting to do this for some time, so now I’m doing it! Here are a few of my favorite shows that I think you’ll enjoy! 

1. Legend of the Blue Sea

Genres: Comedy, Drama, Fantasy, Romance

Episodes: 20, ~60 min

Summary: A mermaid decides to follow a man she meets back to Seoul after saving him. There she tries to adjust to the modern human world all the while trying to keep her supernatural side hidden, but still let her feelings bloom.  The man she follows is a skilled con-man, who lives together with his two roommates, conning rich people out of their money, and evading the police.  The drama is set in modern times, but with a parallel story from the Joseon era unfolding, letting us get a look at their past lives. 

Why I recommend it: It’s hard to say exactly why - because when I was watching it, I really didn’t think it was that special - but when I finished it, I suddenly found myself thinking about it and almost missing the characters. Lee Min Ho and Jun Ji Hyun together in the leading roles were brilliant, and I think their chemistry was great; his reluctance mixed with her eagerness. I also liked the supporting cast and characters. 

The comedy was great, the storyline was great (and the romance was really good!), and the ending was nice and fulfilling. I think Lee Min Ho’s acting was great, and I really liked his character - he has a certain charisma that is hard to deny, and his voice is very soothing. 

Why you might not like it: If you’re not a fan of Joseon era dramas, then you might find the “flashbacks” (if you can call them that) boring or unnecessary. Also, if you’re prone to second-hand embarrassment, then the few first episodes might be hard for you to handle. If you’re not a fan of family drama and the trope where the stepmom comes into the picture and kicks out the biological child, then you might not like it. Other than that, I recommend that you give it a go!

2. The Fiery Priest 

Genres:  Comedy, Detective, Investigation, Mystery

Episodes: 40, ~25-30 min

Summary: A catholic priest with a shady past and anger management issues meets and teams up with a detective from the Gudam Police Station in their joint investigation into the murder of an elderly priest. Together they have to try and detangle a web of bribes and mafia connections to get to the bottom of the murder. 

Why I recommend it: It’s honestly so funny and got a whole bunch of really interesting characters. Kim Nam Gil looks absolutely stunning, and the action scenes (quite a few) are really good and the dialogue is always snappy and fast paced. All the female characters are great, and differ from each other and from the usual tropey way female characters are written. I just feel like I have to say that it’s really funny one more time! Because it is, and not in the childish way some comedic kdramas are written, but in a genuinely good way. Please go watch! 

Why you might not like it: It’s not that it’s slow per se, more that it’s a bit though trying to watch the first episodes (up to episode 10, or 5, if you watch them in pairs) because nothing seems to go the leads way. His clues end up being covered up, and when he thinks he got the upper hand he doesn’t. That all changes after a while tho, so stay with it! Also, if you don’t watch kdramas without romance, then this isn’t the one for you, because there’s no romantic plot. And, since he’s a priest, there are some jokes about religion - so you have to be comfortable with that. 

3. Tomorrow With You

Genres: Drama, Fantasy, Melodrama, Romance

Episodes: 16, ~60 min

Summary: A man who can travel through time by taking the subway never manages to travel past a specific date, the day he dies. No matter how hard he tries to change his life, his future won’t change. So he decides to find the woman who is in the same accident as him, and who he later learns dies at the exact time as him in the hospital. He decides to marry her, to try and save her from her own fate - and by extension, himself from his fate. Slowly, he falls in love with her, despite not marrying her for the right reasons. 

Why I recommend it: It’s a really good story, with great actors, and great chemistry between the leads. I love Shin Min Ah, and she shines in this role. The romance feels very natural, and there’s a lot of cute moments because they get married fairly early in the drama. There’s also a surprisingly shortage of plotholes, despite being a time-travel story (which tend to get messy and tangled up). It’s a really heart-warming drama. 

Why you might not like it: If you’re not a fan of the female lead being “strung along” you might not like the few first episodes. To be honest, that’s the only thing I can think of, that might put people off. It’s honestly a great drama. 

4. Thirty But Seventeen

Genres:  Comedy, Romance

Episodes: 32, ~30 min

Summary: A girl ends up in an accident, and falls into a coma for 13 years. When she wakes up, she’s 30 years old and has to engage with the world in a totally different way than before. One day, she decides to go home, but is shocked when she realises that her remaining family moved on without her, and that someone else lives in her old house. Through a series of misunderstandings and comedic accidents, she ends up living in the house with the current owner, and together they manage to open up a window to happiness that they had thought closed. 

Why I recommend it: It’s such a sweet and heart-warming story, and I was soft for almost the whole cast the whole way through. Even though the premise was a bit off-putting for me (she moves in with a 30 yr old male, isn’t she still 17 in her head??) they really resolved it in a good way, and it wasn’t creepy at all. Even though she was pretty naive, and new to stuff like getting a job or figuring out cell phones, she was never taken advantage of. They build such a sweet relationship based on trust and loyalty, it’s so niceee. 

Why you might not like it: if you don’t like the trope where characters almost meet but not quite - always a few steps behind or in front - then you might be a bit irritated by this drama, because it happens quite a lot. If you also don’t like a case of mistaken identity, then that’s also one of the tropes in this drama - though it is resolved in a very satisfying way. 

5. Splash Splash Love

Genres: Fantasy, Historical, Romance

Episodes: 2, ~60 min

Summary: A girl is transported back to the Joseon era on a rainy day, where she ends up at the palace. Disguising herself as a young eunuch, she ends up falling in love with the king when she tutors him in math. 

Why I recommend it: I just love this mini-series. I wish there was at least 15 episodes more of it, because it’s so great. I love Kim Seul Gi in the leading female role, and the plot is so sweet and funny and lovely that I always return to it when I’m feeling down. The romance is great as well, and I’ve heard that many say it ends the way Scarlet Heart should have ended. Please go give it a watch, you won’t regret it. 

Why you might not like it: idk, if you don’t like historical dramas, then this might not be right up your alley, but since she’s a modern girl in a historical story it might make it easier for you. Please just watch it. 

That’s all I have for now!! Thanks for reading!

[skyisover]

ok a lot of this is going to use my own headcanons about their hobbies and such but as promised. silent hill characters and whether or not you should date them, in order of best to worst.

under the cut bc it’s long

Harry Mason: Harry is peak boyfriend & husband material without a doubt. He has some issues with staying in his own lane (always getting involved in other people’s business, even though he usually doesn’t mean to), but that just means you get to gossip together once he’s done working for the day. He’s a little on the sporty side surprisingly enough, but mostly because being an author requires being mostly sedentary. Harry prefers hiking, but he’ll go to the gym if he doesn’t want to/can’t do the drive. He’d be thrilled if you came with him, but equally happy if you looked after Cheryl/Heather so he can have a quick break.

Pros: considerate, respectful of you and your space, always makes time for you.

Cons: has a kid and that’s not a lot of people’s thing, a little airheaded even tho he means well.

Conclusion: You should date Harry Mason (if you’re okay with kids).

Henry Townshend: The shy, creative type of boyfriend. Marriage is a little hefty of a word; you’d have to be together for a long time. Henry doesn’t talk much (though when he does he has a fantastic, dry sense of humor, he’ll have you laughing so hard in public you’ll need to take a moment), but rather expresses himself both through body language and his art. Once you know him well, you’ll be able to recognize each little microexpression he makes and how he’s feeling. It just takes time. Henry will share his photography with you, and once he’s feeling bold, ask to take photos of you.

Pros: generous, kind almost to a fault, has creative outlets he’d bond with you over.

Cons: incredibly spacey especially with dates and times, has difficulty communicating.

Conclusion: You should date Henry Townshend (if you’re okay with sometimes having difficult conversations).

Eileen Galvin: A fun-loving party girlfriend. Marriage, but probably only if you two were a little too drunk. She’d only do it if she loved you enough, and Eileen loves everyone, but she takes serious relationships incredibly seriously. She’ll love all your interests, but you’ll be especially compatible if you’re in the same party scene as her; she wants someone light-hearted that she can have fun with, and Eileen has a very outgoing definition of a good time. But she’ll always be punctual when meeting up with her partner, be it on dates, appointments, shows, etc. She wants to support you in any way she can (and can sometimes be a bit embarrassing about it, in the best way).

Pros: supportive of all your interests, good with time management, deeply treasures your relationship.

Cons: has a tendency to be jealous, always wants to stay out a little longer, even if it’s 4AM.

Conclusion: You should date Eileen Galvin (if you’re okay with being designated driver. A lot).

Alex Shepherd: Alex is probably the most touch starved person on this list lol. He doesn’t really understand relationships, though. Alex is a good boyfriend, but he hasn’t exactly had any healthy role models for being one, so expect arguments when he doesn’t understand what to do or what he’s done wrong. He really does try his best, though; he knows how bad his parents were, and he wants to do better. His favourite thing to do is play sports in the park with his friends, and it’s kind of a dream date for him. If you aren’t sporty, you and Alex will usually grab lunch or ice cream after, depending on the time of day. Feel free to tease him for poor performance on the field. He’ll always laugh it off.

Pros: great sense of humor, high energy, puts hard work into a relationship.

Cons: horrible with emotional communication, stubborn.

Conclusion: You should date Alex Shepherd (if you’re okay with working through bad arguments).

Travis Grady: Travis has no experience with relationships. Period. When he’s not working (which is the majority of the time), he’s usually at home watching TV with a steak dinner. He’d probably meet you through the company he works for, or at the grocery store (both of you reaching for the same item?? Anyone?? Anyone??). That’s pretty much what the majority of your dates will consist of- he’ll occasionally go hunting and always invite you unless he knows it upsets you, but it’s never for sport. Travis is a believer in ethical eating and never eats meats that come from processors or the store. Rest assured he’d be more than willing to cook a fantastic homemade dinner for the two of you (and brag a little once you compliment his cooking).

Pros: laid back, a bit of a romantic, stable.

Cons: usually out-of-town making deliveries, prone to clamming up when frustrated and bringing work home.

Conclusion: You should date Travis Grady (especially if you like homemade meals).

Maria: Maria is an enigma. She doesn’t really do the girlfriend thing, per say; she doesn’t like to be exclusive. If anything, it’s a fear of commitment, but she’ll still take you out on dates. Maria’s fantastic company. Drinks at Heaven’s Night, walks by the lake, 2AM pizza runs, she loves it all. No bowling, though. As long as you don’t take any issue with her line of work, the two of you won’t have any real arguments. You go on dates, you sleep together, you’re free to see other people. If you ever need anything at any time, you can call Maria, and she’ll be there. Either a shoulder for you to cry on, threatening (jokingly, or is she) to kill whoever hurt you, or going out to get your mind off of it. Maria comes through.

Pros: a loyal friend, defends you to the death, always ready to go on an adventure.

Cons: only does open relationships, isn’t... like... real?

Conclusion: You should date Maria (so long as you don’t mind the lack of exclusivity).

Lisa Garland: Lisa is a very busy woman. On top of nursing, she struggles with her own addiction, and the abuse she survived. She loves wholly and incredibly quickly. Lisa would want to go on coffee dates, go out on the lake, watch romance movies together, the whole shebang. She’s a classic romantic. However, Lisa’s addiction isn’t something to be romanticized or taken lightly. She needs help, and she knows that; you’re the only person who supports her recovery, supports her dreams of becoming an actress, you are her best friend, and that’s more important. One day in the future, when Lisa is prepared, a relationship could be had together.

Pros: always willing to use her free time to see you, deeply loving, and always worries for your safety.

Cons: can be clingy, has a tendency to overstep when she’s concerned, but it comes from a good place.

Conclusion: You probably shouldn’t date Lisa Garland (at least until she’s ready).

Murphy Pendleton: Murphy tries his damnedest to be a good boyfriend/husband, but he has a lot on his plate. If this is before Charlie’s death, anything his son needs will always take priority. (He’s a good dad). If this is after, the murder of his son will torment him forever. That, on top of being a prison escapee- even though Anne presumably covered for him as per the good ending, he’s considered a dead man. It wouldn’t be a normal relationship, and it wouldn’t be easy. You can rarely go anywhere with him and you move frequently, putting a strain on your relationship. Murphy would love you, but he may break it off, just to keep you out of harms way.

Pros: honest, loyal to a fault, and passionate about everything he cares for, including you.

Cons: prone to anger, a legally dead felon.

Conclusion: You probably shouldn’t date Murphy Pendleton (unless you prepare yourself for heartbreak).

James Sunderland: James’ marriage lasted for years, so it’s safe to say he understands relationships. That being said.. we all know how that ended. James is miserable. He’s devoted to his partner but keeps to himself; a relationship with James is a relationship with his own desire for punishment. He wants his partner to treat him the way he deserves to be treated. Unless you have extreme patience and are willing to help James (and most likely Laura as well, going by the Leave ending), and even then, it’s not a healthy relationship. James can never move past the guilt of what he’s done.

Pros: gives you all the space you need, physically affectionate in private, emotionally devoted albeit in an unhealthy way.

Cons: trapped by his own guilt, often uses you as a personal therapist or mediator between himself and Laura.

Conclusion: You should not date James Sunderland (unless you like the smell of pillows and getting called Mary in bed)

Vincent Smith: The only person Vincent has ever cared about is himself. This would not be a healthy relationship. He uses you for physical comfort, for sex, for indulging all of his earthly desires that he knows the Order would look down on. Vincent can and will emotionally manipulate you if it benefits him to do so; even if or inevitably when he does grow fond of you, ultimately he won’t risk his position or any advantages for anyone else. He isn’t a bad person to spend time with, generally speaking, and can even be quite funny. Vincent leans on the obnoxious side, but if you aren’t emotionally invested, you likely won’t fall for any of his tricks.

Pros: a physical lover, intelligent, easy to have educated conversations with.

Cons: manipulative, selfish.

Conclusion: You should not date Vincent Smith (but you should hang out with him and give him a hard time).

Walter Sullivan: Walter is a man of obsession. If you were someone he met when he was alive and attending Uni, he was probably a relatively normal, albeit a little strange, boyfriend. He’d be clearly troubled but genuinely seem to care about you, and even is excited every time he sees you. Not in a weird way, but a sweet one. Things change after he dies. He becomes obsessed with bringing you into a better world, showing you to his reborn mother. He stalks you as he completes the 21 Sacraments, watching as you sleep, tracking your every move. All for a better world.

Pros: he literally looks like Brendan Fraser i mean -

Cons: i really don’t think i need to explain this one guys

Conclusion: You absolutely should not date Walter Sullivan. (But honestly, I wouldn’t blame you. He’s hot as fuck).

Anne Cunningham: ok bootlicker

Dahlia Gillespie: don’t.