#he blew it up for Lizzie

[agarafile]

Gem knows that saving the camel gives her no advantage in the game.

Actually, the camel is an active risk.

People go after what you value most, after all. Cleo thought she had done it, when she burned Gem's barn and watchtower. Jimmy used Lizzie to kill Joel and blew up The Car in a previous attempt.

Caring for things, caring for people... it made you vunerable. Made you weak.

Gem wasn't weak. Far from it.

But she still went out of her way to save the camel.

Gem's Camel, she wrote in the nametag. Not someone else's, not something she had to share. Hers.

The camel nuzzled her with its snout, almost as if it knew that if she didn't name it, it would die. Like it was grateful she claimed it for herself.

"You saved it?" Joel asked, when Gem guided the camel into her barn. Not outside, in the pen like the cows. Inside, where Gem herself lived "Of all things, you saved a camel?"

"I find camels delightful, Joel." she petted its neck, golden fur soft to her touch.

"I thought you would hate them. You know. After..." Joel trailed off, gesturing vaguely.

Gem understood what he was trying to say. She should hate them after Pearl, after the 2v1.

"Tango called it the Murder Camel 2.0." She offered instead.

"Of course he did." Joel rolled his eyes "Rumor has it you and Pearl rode together again."

"She got on my camel. Against my will, Joel." Gem scoffed "Not my fault she is obssessed with me."

Joel raised an eyebrow at her.

"And Pearl wasn't even the first one to ride the camel with me. It was Etho." Gem looked back at her camel and scratched behind its ears.

"Yeah, well. Camels are pretty much a you two thing, no?"

"Me and Pearl don't have a thing!"

"You might have to tell Pearl that, then." Joel teased, turning his head to the general direction of the Gs base, in the opposite side of the map "She seems awfully insistent on getting everyone on a camel and showing off to you."

Gem scowls and refuses to say anything back.

The thing is, its easy to look everyone in the eyes and proclaim she hates Pearl. So, so easy.

Especially because it is easier than admiting the truth. Saying she hates Pearl is easier than saying she misses her. That Gem still loves her, even after everything.

And isn't that just the worst? Loving someone down to red when they would throw all you thought you had when there are eyes on you?

Gem's camel shakes her hand off it, grunting. She hadn't realized it then, but her nails had been digging into its fur.

[starcrossedandstupid]

They are my main POV, so here’s a current guide to The Family’s Alliances!

The Tuff Guys

Etho: a part of the Family, while he doesn’t live with them and is still a Tuff Guy, he is their closest outside ally.

Bdubs: Regular good allies, hasn’t been called family but is a firm ally.

Tango: They didn’t like him, but via snail escape bonding and him being on the Tuff Guys, which are their allies, they seem to be getting back to the right foot. Not as close as the rest of Tuff.

Bamboozlers:

Lizzie: She hasn’t wronged them, and she is married to Joel, so despite the actions of her team they are kind of allied.

Jimmy: The reason they don’t seemed to be allied with the Bamboozlers anymore. Just started trying to kill them, reason unknown to Gem or Joel. He was treated like a sad puppy instead of a threat, but he blew up some of the car and is now more of an enemy, though still a sad puppy in their eyes.

Scar: Enabling Jimmy trying to kill them, more of a threat but less of true malice, so the relationship is easily repairable if Jimmy’s wish to kill them is dealt with.

Four Gs (Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss, Girldad)

Scott: Neutral. They are fine with each other, but since he’s teamed with Pearl and Impulse it is unlikely to ever end up as true allyship.

Cleo: Same as Scott, neutral but probably won’t be real allies due to their grouping with Pearl and Impulse.

Pearl: Ohhhh Gem hates her this season. Pearl pulled some stuff in episode two, and betrayed her in Secret Life’s family. Joel is a good ally and is very on board with hating her. Number two worst enemy.

Impulse: The most hated man on this side of the river. The cow fiasco in episode one. Him beint with Pearl and pulling tricks with her in episode two. Gem and Joel hate his ass! They got him killed twice, but it’s not clear if he is aware of that.

Renwood

Martyn: Annoyed with him constantly, but mostly in good fun. Solid allies!

Ren: He didn’t do any of the cow bit, so even better allies than Martyn. Good ally.

Spanners/Sub One Club

Mumbo: Allies in name, neutral in action.

Grian: Not even technically allies by name, as it was just Skizz and Mumbo in the ep one cow trade. Not on bad terms by any means, though.

Skizz: A little above neutral, as they told him to kill Impulse and he listened! He was quite nice even when on Red.

BigB

BigB: They’ve basically not interacted, so the most neutral of neutral that could be

[olsenmyolsen]

please, lizzie following the sidewalk rule with younger age gap reader?!!

The Sidewalk Rule

short n’ sweet master list . request marvel master list . maroon master list . dark master list

(Female Reader X Elizabeth Olsen) Summary: You and Elizabeth Olsen have grown quite close since filming your latest movie.

Word Count: 1K

Okay, sure, before your career blew up, you once said in a now-deleted tweet, "Lord, what do I have to do to be Elizabeth Olsens, controversial young girlfriend."

It was all in good fun and tweeted at like 2:16 am, but now fast forward a few years later, and you might not be her girlfriend, but you two are definitely... something.

You're not sure whether to count this as your fourth date or not, but it is the fourth time the two of you are hanging out one-on-one since you both finished wrapping up her movie.

She produced it and was critical in your hiring process.

And yeah, it could just count as friends hanging out, but you're not sure friends look at each other the way you two dance with your eyes.

By god, how magical her green eyes are... Regardless now here you are sitting outside the cafe Lizzie texted you to meet her at.

"Cute baseball cap." The text that lit up your phone read, making you swing your head around before your eyes found Lizzie walking up to your table. Fuck she knew how to make a blue button-up and jeans look just as sexy as a little black dress.

"Hi!" Lizzie smiled and wrapped her arms around you as you hugged. You rested your chin on her shoulder as you took a deep breath. "Hi, Lizzie." You spoke softly into her ear, making her giggle before pulling away. Her eyes looking you up and down, admiring your look. And her LA Dodgers baseball cap.

"Glad to know it's in good hands." She said as she tipped it down, making you laugh and feel flushed before you two sat down. "You can have it back if you want it." You said before quenching your thirst with some water. Lizzie just shook her head and gazed at you with a feeling hidden behind her eyes. "It looks better on you. Also, it was my fault for leaving it in your trailer that one day." As if it wasn't on purpose. "But maybe we can share it."

You smiled. "Sharing sounds good." Lizzie hummed and nodded before grabbing the menu before you, making you lift your eyes to her. "Don't worry honey, I know what to order us." She spoke with an authoritative tone, making you nod and gulp. Especially at the nickname.

Honey.

However, that wasn't the last time the nickname happened. Or the light touches from her hands to yours. Or how she moved closer to you throughout lunch. Or even how the two of you were spotted by paparazzi, and she didn't care once. Not with you around. Instead, she kept her eyes on you and hung on every word you said.

Of course, you did the same to her. You kept your eyes on her green ones or her dazzling smile. You felt a blush every time she laughed or cracked a joke back to you. Your stomach erupted from the feelings skyrocketing as she talked more and more about the movie you two shot together and how she wished she had more time with you.

She wanted you.

"...interesting pick for a horror movie," Lizzie said as she took a spoonful of your ice cream as the two of you walked away from a shop in the middle of the city after your lunch. "I think it's criminally underrated." You said as you watched your ice cream flavor disappear behind Lizzie's lips.

She saw how you stared and smiled, making you look at her eyes. "What?" She shook her head. "Nothing. I just think it's funny you picked a thriller that came out before you were even born."

You playfully rolled your eyes. "I was born the same year." 2001 was the year you two danced around. Along with the topic of the age gap between you both.

Not that you minded based on your deleted tweets. Nor did Lizzie, based on her infatuation with you.

Yet you both danced.

However, the topic seemed to be laid to rest as Lizzie placed her hands on your shoulder and moved you to the other side of her. Away from the traffic on the road.

The sidewalk rule.

You noticed and looked at Lizzie as she opened her mouth and scooped another spoonful of your ice cream. "What was that?" You asked. "You moved me."

Lizzie swallowed and looked at you with an understanding smile. "I did."

"Why?"

Lizzie sighed and looked at you with affection. "Because I couldn't have anything happen to you." She said it like it was the easiest question to answer. "Plus, it's like the rule. I'm supposed to keep you safe."

You nodded. "Yeah, but isn't that saved for people who are... dating?" You questioned, making a grin break out on Lizzie's face. "So you want to date?" She asked and knew the game she was playing.

She almost felt bad for seeing the cute, confused look on your face.

Almost.

After a beat, Lizzie thought she'd save you from your brain overheating and just come right out and say something along the lines to help you.

"I wouldn't be opposed to it." The green-eyed goddess said. You looked over with a look of bewilderment. Lizzie watched you process. "Do you have anything you want to say, sweetheart?" She asked with a sly smile.

"I don't think I've wanted anything more."

Lizzie was ecstatic and wrapped an arm around you. "That's my girl." You blushed, and as the two of you stopped at a crosswalk, you turned to look her in the eyes. "Before we move forward with anything. Let me delete some tweets."

Little did you know Elizabeth Olsen had already seen them.

And when the news of your relationship hit Twitter, thanks to some paparazzi pictures of the sidewalk moment, the website crashed.

dividers by @/benkeibear

[ooooo-mcyt]

I know "family" was framed as a bit by Joel in Wild Life, but it was so much more than a bit.

Gem, Grian, Lizzie, Jimmy, Etho- these are all people Joel has loved for a long time. People he holds close to him. "Family" isn't just a joke, or a facetious way of referring to his alliance, as much as Joel would pretend it is. Every person included in Joel's "family" in Wild Life were people who matter to him more than he could ever possibly say.

Family was a 'bit', because Joel doesn't know how to be entirely earnest, is too scared to break himself open in the process of showing people how he feels. But it's earnest enough. An admittance, a concession, buried beneath far fewer layers of humor and deflection than he'd normally include. It's as much vulnerability as Joel could possibly stand to show.

Which is one of the reasons I'm particularly devastated over the way Etho played all sides, and about the scene where this literally blew up in Joel's face. All the vulnerability Joel could muster used to tell Etho, in a roundabout way, that he wants to be on the same side again, and Etho blows that up in a fiery explosion that kills Joel's teammate after a season of shifting around and playing all sides.

[sk8erboyz]

i’m going to word vomit all my thoughts about the wild life finale here and it’s going to be incoherent until it stops consuming every corner of my mind and i sit down and organize my thought 🤞🏼 until then enjoy my raw unfiltered thought processes

he won by going against the mechanic !! he remained calm and rational and never died to a single wildcard !!! all of his deaths were by people not the mechanic !! the game did not win joel did !he did not go absolutely insane and give in the red haze and he won !!! by not doing what the game wanted !! which means the only curse not broken this season was the winners curse !!!

at every single point in the series everyone is collectively trying to kill joel because he just won’t seem to die but joel is absolutely convinced he’s made friends and is just happy to have friends this season and keeps giving people stuff and then they TRY TO KILL HIM and fail and he DOESBT EVEN NOTICE

and then they die trying to kill joel and he gives them diamonds !!!

joel’s pov by itself is so funny because he’s just a guy in his car with his family having a great time !! and then you watch everyone and it’s like oh. joel is the common enemy here- everyone used gem keeping him cool to their advantage. they used his trust and took whatever joel would give them and blew up his car and stole from him and every time he forgave them everyone turned around and just began plotting against him again. the only person he had was gem who gave her life so many times to the people who betrayed joel anyways. because gem never died to a wildcard and no one every actually got a kill on her, all her lives were lost either by a mob or she let someone take her life so they could gain one (like jimmy, skizz, mumbo) and then at the end joel has survived and he believes he still had friends (jimmy scar & lizzie , etho , grian ) so he goes to them one last time to try and gear up and protect everyone from the G’s who were the longest standing alliance and had the most people, and all the people who he thought were his friends only tried to kill him when he turned his back

and he still won !!!!! it was him and grian against the whole rest of the server and grian was just using him !’ gem was gone and joel couldn’t stay calm anymore because he couldn’t go back to gem when something happened!! so grian stroked joel’s ego and told him he could win and let joel fight everyone and take the rest of the server out and when he did joel went looking for grian and said something along the lines of ‘grian we did it!’ only to turn around to grain shooting at him which makes sense of course but then when you go watch grian’s episode you see then grian has been trying to snipe joel the second every one else was dead but just kept missing and he started panicking g because he couldn’t make the shot and then tried being friendly with joel again

he’s literally THE wild card ! through every series he is aggressive and unpredictable and dangerous and of COURSE the game he wins is when the game starts being aggressive and unpredictable and dangerous but who knows that game better than joel? he beat the game and its own mechanic!!

he is also the only happy winners pov we’ve had!!! every other winner won in a moment of grief and betrayal and anger and in joel’s eyes he won through persistence and staying with his family (which is both dramatic and situational irony because he didn’t actually. he won by clawing his way through what everyone expected of him and everyone else being so blinded by their rage instead of him. he saw all his flaws in past winners and all his past lives and everyone in this season and said no that will not be me this time) joel was also the only winner fighting without a cause. he was just there for the fun of it. for the mindless violence. he never lost anything because he played the game well. his car got blown up but it was always an easy fix. he didn’t pay any mind to his broken alliances so he had no time or knowledge to feel grief or betrayal for them. he and gem were together until the end and never betrayed each other every other winner fought for a person (grian fought against and for scar, scott won by seeking revenge against ren for killing pearl, scott blew himself up in double life so that pearl wouldn’t have to fight anymore, martyn went on a rampage when ren was killed, scar was completely alone and fought for himself and his survival because he had nothing and didn’t even realize when pearl had died) joel is just. in it for the rush- he has no reason for the violence and nothing to loose and nothing to gain

joel is the only winner who’s final death wasn’t in grief either. his final death was meant to be a trap he set up that he never got to use and he ran to it at the end laughing and excited and it failed. the trap failed- and he lived and laughed and ender pearled around until he died. and i saw one post in passing that was like ‘the server took care of him’ and it DID. it’s like this game was perfectly crafted for him- because of course joel wouldn’t die do something as chaotic and unbalanced as the wild cards. who would joel be to die to something he understands so well and channels in every move he makes? he thrives in the chaos and watchers saw him and choose him

grian had a LOT more control in this season than previous because of th wild cards and it’s feeding my watchers symbolism. he is trying to take the reins of the games from the watchers and reduce the violence and grief his friends have to go through so what to do the watchers do? they take his power away. he’s still in control on the wild cards of course, but how well can they work when the watchers are guiding a wild card of their own? and then skizz and mumbo both died due to joel (both indirectly- they died on the tower while trying to get more lives using the minecart trap) and in the end the only person grian is left with is joel who somehow managed to twist every wild card to his advantage and never made as much a misstep this season. ans grian has been too cocky this season, almost playing god with people coming to him for information about the wildcards and how to survive them. and in the end grian does exactly what the watchers wanted anyways and guides joel to victory despite still trying to ruin their game to the very last second and become the first two time winner

anyways that’s all GOOD JOB JOEL !!!! MY WINNER !!! FAST CAR FOR THE WIN

[russetfoxfur]

mcyt is NOT beating the criminal allegations

- mumbo did season eight which. ah. produced the wonderful quote: "My parents are still alive... but that can be changed."

- cub eats people

- bad is a cannibal. this is different from eating people, according to my irl. do i want to know

- fit was on 2b2t

- wilbur blew up a country and killed a buncha people

- phil blew up that country too (apparently)

- scar. ah. scar did monopoly mountain and things went downhill from there

- dont even get me started on gem. she started the whole secret life apocalypse. she killed etho at least sixteen times. she is on tumblr which means tango is scared of her AS HE SHOULD BE

- sausage had that whole esmp s1 evil thing. classifying this as sausage because i watched an episode of gem's where he appeared and nothing else and don't actually watch esmp except through osmosis

- didnt joe hills kill a bunch of dogs in s7

- etho ALSO kills people but BADLY (scar boogie kill)

- dream

- *eyeing zedaph's chamber suspiciously* this violates AT LEAST one scientific law or something

- grian. grian my beloved. why are you like this

- jaiden decimated the environment of teyvat

- see lizzie is like her husband. unhinged. shes just bad at surviving so no one gets to see it

- jimmy is like lizzie but more popular for it

- tango is a war criminal but he also makes funny sounds while he commits crimes so i think that negates the whole crimes thing

- while we're at it. all the lifers are criminals EXCEPT SKIZZ EXCEPT SKIZZ EXCEPT SKIZZ

- xisuma boils chicken and eats kiwi skin. worst offense on this list by far

- gem gets a second place on this list because why not. she deserves it

- bdubs bites ankles. probably

- martyn brought the watchers to the life smp which is bad in and of itself. also the Assigned Criminal At Life Series thing

- cherrifire gets an honorary spot on this list mostly because she SHOULD be able to bite ankles. due to aforementioned martyn

anyways please tag w other crimes our blorbos have commited. cheers <3

EDIT: I will be adding more crimes now

- keralis was a capitalist in s7 who bought. rotten flesh. for 128 diamonds. truly exemplifying a billionaire there. dont worry dont worry. hes not a capitalist anymore....but he was once

- pearl poisons people and then has her dogs bite you. reasonable

- cleo does arson. she also kills people. but she does this a lot so it also negates the crimes

- don't mess with forgelabs

- ren has become a dictator at least twice. likes bloodshed. also treebark counts for all the anguish it causes everyone. also also ACALS (assigned criminal at life series)

ALSO if anyone is going to yell at me for fit being on 2b2t. i do not watch him. he is only here because my mcyt irls go insane about him. like all the time. in fact i don't watch qsmp or dsmp but theyre popular enough i know a bit about them. <3

[salemoleander]

I don't know how it felt when Third Life started, but I like to imagine Secret Life feels a little like those first few sessions.

Not that we can ever get back to that naiveté! BUT. Idk if it's the silliness of the tasks or the generous game-ified rewards or Gem & Mumbo & Lizzie but it all just feels so new.

This is the first Life Series where they could actually defeat the Ender Dragon. Beat the game. Leaving aside any meta or lore or whatever- consider how special is it that they can win the original battle, the core goal of Minecraft, together.

This world is gentle - I know it lacks regen, but is it so terrible to be cautious? To have time and reason to go slow?

Food is abundant. Plentiful passive mobs, and a way via spawn eggs to get more. There are berries and pumpkins, and cherry and dark oak and mangrove trees, not generated but kindly placed. A mesa and a jungle and a savannah and a plains and a jungle - so many biomes to choose from.

The tasks so far are silly, kind - puns, pranks, nicknames. Building homes near each other. Poetry. Trust falls. What does it say that the worst task is simply to dig a hole?

They can gift hearts for free! And 30 hearts a person! A creeper blew up right behind Scar, and this time he lived. They are all so strong here.

With a way of getting more health, and the barrier to death so high... I'm sure the CCs have their plans, but per the world we know right now: no one has to die. There's an impossible, wonderful sense that this time could be different.

[cherrifire]

Fragment headcanons <3

For those who don't know, these are fragments:

Art credit: me ;)

They are caused by Watchers eating up a player's negative emotions and visualize as these cracks in the body.

Note: I'm going to slap all Double Life fragments onto the heart. It just makes sense. So this headcanon list will be for 3rd/Last/Limited unless there is a special difference (Grian + Pearl + Jimmy + Ren). Just so I don't have to write over the heart several times.

Grian

The only fragment he has stretches across the back of his hands from where he had to beat Scar to death in 3rd Life.

He keeps the Watchers off him for the rest of the series by bringing a silly and goofy vibe to the games though. They hate him so bad so they haven't given him any more fragments. They would rather just ignore him.

Scott

3rd Life fragment wraps around his head like a flower crown.

Last Life fragment hits him in the shoulder then another on the bottom of his foot, spreading inside his body like lightning. (Think Aang's scar from Avatar the Last Airbender)

Limited Life fragment on the left side of his back, giving him a fragment on both sides of his heart. This is due to how hard his heart would have been pounding every time he was hunted for sport.

Pearl

Last Life, Pearl is granted 6 lives and has a habit of using/giving those lives to help Scott, her closest ally. The fragment is small and over the heart.

Pearl's experience in Double Life with heartbreak was so intense, and since she already had a fragment over the heart, her fragment for that season ended up huge. The cracks over her heart are wide and bright. But the Watchers loved her so much they sent her back in even though she wasn't ready. Meaning she held onto her emotions for Tilly and had to be swapped out with Lizzie for an episode.

Limited Life fragment is placed between her eyes and above on her forehead. Like a third eye for being a nosey neighbour and watching.

Martyn (We actually get to see his fragments at the end of Lim Life.)

3rd Life fragment spreads down the cheek like tears for when he cried losing Ren.

Last Life, on the back. The backstabber was backstabbed. He was completely willing to betray Grian in order to get himself, Mumbo, Jimmy, and Impulse somewhere nicer. Somewhere safer. The end. Only for the Watchers to reveal that was never the case.

Limited Life, over the hand his weapon was held in in which he had to kill Scott twice with.

Jimmy

All of Jimmy's fragments spread across his back like canary wings.

Scar

3rd Life, spreads across his chest from where that first creeper blew him up. The first death. Seems rather fitting for the guy who can't keep his shirt on.

Last Life, through his mouth, built from all the lies he spoke.

Limited Life, matching placements with the Clockers on the right forearm like a family tattoo.

Joel

3rd Life, a few small cracks spread around like dog bites.

Last Life, one of the biggest fragments and spread through his entire body. For every kill he got, he got a matching crack as if he was the one who died. His insanity means he has axe, sword, arrow, explosion, and fall damage cracks because with each kill he got worse.

Limited Life, kind of hidden based on just how many cracks Joel has, but starts above his chest and out through the bottom of his foot. Another lightning scar.

Etho

3rd Life, cracks spread from his finger tips up from digging his hands in the dirt to plant dark oak saplings.

Last Life is hard to place a fragment. Because I know he would get one for never giving Bdubs one of his lives but I don't know where that would place on the body. Back of the head for not thinking? Over the heart for the ache of regret? I'm not sure.

Matching fragment with the Clockers but it's on the wrong arm (left).

Bdubs

Bdubs is similar to Grian to me in a case where he brings a very goofy mood to the series. So I want to say he doesn't have a fragment for 3rd Life. Like, he betrays Impulse with 0 remorse.

Last Life, on the back where Grian shot him. That was the moment he realized Etho didn't love him as much as he thought. Shot for doing what he asked and never receiving another life. Etho's name on the tip of his tongue as he dies alone.

Limited Life, Clocker fragment, right forearm.

BigB

3rd Life, similar to Etho, I'm not sure where to place this one. But I think BigB would have a fragment for loneliness. BigB spends a lot of time that season on his own. And it's not like other seasons with lonely characters. Last Life Joel + Scar, Double Life Pearl, etc etc, they all still sort of had someone. Like Joel and Scar still technically had each other + Pearl technically had Scott, Martyn, and Cleo. BigB is mostly just doing his own thing for a good portion of 3rd Life and doesn't join a team till late season.

Last Life, matching stab fragment with Cleo because his betrayal on her hurt just as badly for him.

Limited Life, matching third eye fragment with Pearl for being a nosey neighbour.

Impulse

It's so easy to betray this guy. Both 3rd and Limited Life fragments are on his back from being backstabbed by both Bdub and Martyn. Though, the one left by Bdubs in 3rd life is more prominent and fractured.

Impulse doesn't get a fragment for Last Life. He didn't do much this season and thankfully was able to avoid any huge heartbreak.

Skizz

I think... despite not being in Double Life, Skizz has a huge fragment over the heart. It's not massive like Pearl's despite all 3 fragments being there simply because Skizz is filled with so much love. Love for his teammates and love for even his enemies.

3rd Life, he dies for his nation. Rushing in because he's tired of his friend being pushed around. (I will also never be over how Skizz RAN to Dogwarts when he heard Martyn beheaded Ren. He thought Martyn had betrayed Ren and was ready to CATCH HANDS despite only being in golden armour.)

Last Life, even when team BEST kicks him out, he's sure to stop in the middle of his threats to tell Tango that he's on Skizz's good side. And even though he's mad at his team, when he dies, his ghost watches over them anyway. Being the only one to hear Bdub's final words.

Limited Life we of course got the affirmation station. And when his time was up, he let Etho kill him so his whole team could stay in the game just a little longer even if Skizz could have kept trying for another 20 minutes. He loves so much it kills him almost every time.

Tango

Fragment hidden in his hair for his rage (hot-headed).

For the most part, Tango goes under the radar for the Watcher. His deaths are anticlimactic and there's never enough drama for him. They only pay attention to him when he's angry and this neglect means he holds onto grudges and hosts a furious rage for most people who have hurt him the most. Bdubs constantly being the one to take his lives in Last Life and inflicting the first rage. Martyn just never being a positive presence for Tango's POV meaning he doesn't trust him one bit. Like. Tango is Martyn's most frequent victim with 4 kills.

Cleo

Another case where I'm unsure where to put it. I think Cleo would have a fragment from the stress she had to endure from stealing and hiding Pizza.

Last Life, Cleo gets a stag fragment on her back for being backstabbed by BigB. The thing that makes this fracture special is how it doesn't stay the same. The Watchers forgot to remove part of her negative feelings towards BigB after this betrayal. As the series goes on, this fragment gets bigger and bigger since Cleo never forgives BigB for this betrayal.

Limited Life, Clocker fragment, right forearm. Additionally, part of her Last Life fragment settles down thanks to her short swap with Gem.

Ren

A crack around the neck, fracturing from the back where Martyn beheaded him. Similar to Scar's explosion fragment being important because he's the first death of the series, I think this fragment is also significant since it's the first PvP kill. The first weapon drawn.

Like Skizz, Ren is also a lover. Filled with love, loyalty, and dedication to the people he cares about. His heart fracture spreads across his heart for the same reasons. He would lay his life on the line for his allies. And I think BigB leaving him for Grian broke him so much inside he couldn't return to Limited Life.

Lizzie

She wasn't built for this series. Wasn't built to be killed in cold blood by her soulmate Joel and his red life insanities. But she was healthy enough to be brought because just a little to stand in for Pearl.

Mumbo

He also wasn't built for this series. They snapped him in half bro. Being killed by Grian was too much.

If you disagree with anything or have any of your own ideas please let me know in the comments/tags <3

[piglinmyfeet]

*note, he would only reset if he died before a certain time, he wasn't going to die at 23 hours then stay u for another 24, even he's not that odd

[ludicdoll]

hello! been obsessed with your work! (I think I already read all archie madekwe x reader fics from you tbh). Been sobbing over Lizzy McAlpine's song Vortex. And I couldn't stop imagining Farleigh x reader who is in an on and off again relationship. Reader tries to stop herself from going back every time he's at her doorstep begging. But always fails. And it's just sad. LMAO

𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐑

farleigh start ☆

pairing: farleigh start x fem!reader

contents: angst, mentions of sex, slut calling, farleigh being a little bitch, reader is also an american, smoking, suggestive at the end but no smut, kinda toxic

synopsis: although your relationship with farleigh is complicated, you can’t help but run back to him every time he needs you.

a/n: this is so late im sorry i’ve been so busy and this has been sitting in my drafts for a while😭

there’s something so alluring about farleigh that makes you chase him constantly—even if he pays no attention to you. you long for his approval, his touch, and in his absence you realize you can’t seem to function correctly without him. your relationship with farleigh is complex, to say the least, and everybody around you knows this. whenever you would tell felix that you and farleigh had split up again, he always replied with “give it a week.” and somehow, he’s always right. but, this one was different. you split up with farleigh a few weeks ago and he hasn’t even tried to make an attempt to contact you. he knew you’d come back around sooner or later, but you were persistent on keeping your ground.

your breakup with farleigh was because he had called you a slut, just straight up—which was quite ironic because he was the known campus whore. usually you would ignore his silly and childish name calling, but you hated him calling you a slut, it was too degrading for you. you remember the way farleigh blew up in your face when you told him the two of you were over, it was a priceless expression. now, you’re currently standing outside of the saltburn estate, leaning up against one of the large extravagant stone pillars. felix was hosting a party tonight, a big one at that. the colorful flashing lights can be seen outside, a neon cast over the large grassy field.

you decide to step out for a smoke and some fresh air after you locked eyes with farleigh as he was dancing with a girl, her hips grinding against his. that image alone made you shiver in disgust. although you had broken up with him, you missed him bad. you tried to deny it, but if you had to be honest with yourself—you didn’t know who you were without farleigh. if only he would give you a genuine apology, everything would be fine but his pride stopped him from doing so.

you turn your head when you hear the grand doors behind you creaking open. you watch as felix stumbles out, his dark brown hair disheveled from the party. you’re surprised to see him since he had vanished halfway through the party with some random girl you presume. felix turns, a surprised expression on his face. you look over at him, smiling weakly as you raise your cigarette to your lips.

he stands by the door for a minute, stretching his neck before walking over to you. “what are you doing out here?” he asks. felix scans your appearance, eyes widening when he spots a bottle of vodka in your hands, the same bottle that mysteriously disappeared a few hours ago. you shrug slightly, tired and feeling nauseous from the amount of drinks you’ve had tonight. “you missing the states?” felix nudges at your arm playfully. you stare ahead, shaking your head. “i just needed to clear my mind,” you mutter as you lift the bottle to your mouth, taking a long gulp. felix notices that you’re out of it, and he looks concerned. “you haven’t been yourself.” he starts, “ever since farleigh—” you raise your hand out, your palm facing him. “don’t. mention. him.” you groan, rubbing your temples to soothe your migraine.

“he misses you,” felix smiles widely. you stare at the red cups littered on the paved ground, slowly zoning out. “we’re not talking.” you reply, he sighs in return. “well, he wouldn’t stop talking about you in professor anderson’s class.” you turn to look at him, raising a suspicious brow. you think he’s joking at first, but his face is completely straight.

“really? i didn’t know the two of you even attended classes.” you joke in an attempt to move the topic elsewhere. “oh, ha ha.” felix replies sarcastically. there’s so many things racing through your mind, but at the same time—your thoughts are empty. you think that the alcohol from tonight has made you more sensitive. “i don’t like it when you guys fight.” felix mutters as he slowly takes your bottle away from your grip. “you should stop drinking too,” he waves the half empty bottle in front of your face.

“it’s not a fight, felix. it’s a breakup.” felix scoffs, shaking his head with a laugh. you turn to look at him, a scowl on your face. “oh, so you think i’m gonna run back to him?” you ask in a bitter tone. he steps back a little, blinking at your unexpected tone switch. “what? i didn’t say anything.” he says defensively. you suddenly feel irritated at everything around you. you excuse yourself abruptly while he tries to explain himself. you speed past him, leaving felix by himself outside while you open the doors to the mansion.

ੈ✩‧₊˚

you can’t stop fidgeting with your pen, clicking it rapidly as you scan the words in the open book in front of you. you were sitting in the library, not for the sake of studying but for the sole purpose of distracting yourself from having a mental breakdown in your dorm. you couldn’t even think straight since your hangover was so bad. you hadn’t tried to dress up today, you didn’t even bother to put on makeup or fix up your hair. you knew people would see you and talk, but you were so tired you couldn’t do it. usually when you and farleigh would split, you’d still be in close contact with your (who were really just his) friends. however, this was different. everyone seemed to be avoiding you—everyone except felix. whenever you’d ask to hang out, their only excuses were “i have to study,” or, “i’m busy tonight,” and when they see you, they’d scurry off in a blink of an eye.

you could only imagine what bullshit story farleigh has came up with your break up to make them run away from you. felix was the only person who still spoke to you, but now you think you’ve lost him after what had happened at the party last night. you stop clicking your pen when you hear a cough in front of you. you look up, freezing up when you see a familiar curly haired boy in front of you. “fancy seeing you here.” he says. you scoff, rolling your eyes and avoiding his gaze. he laughs quietly to himself before crossing his arms. “i didn’t know you studied.” he emphasizes the word “studied” almost like he was attempting to mock you—but he knew you did study, he just wanted to make fun of you. “i didn’t know you even knew what a library was.” you snap back instantly, farleigh just smiles blankly at you as he pulls a chair out and seats himself right across from you.

“what do you want?” you ask sternly. he sighs, shrugging. a tense silence fills the air and you’re slowly suffocating. “i’m serious, farleigh.” he stays quiet, his eyes still on you. “what did you tell the others?” you inquire.

“hmm?”

“no one’s talking to me anymore.”

“that’s not true,” he laughs, “felix was just talking to you last night.” you squint at him, brows furrowed. “were you watching us?” you ask. farleigh tilts his head to the side, flashing a deadpan expression. “please, i have better things to do.” he replies arrogantly. you nod, closing your eyes. “i’m sure you do.” you look back down to read the words on the page, not taking in any of the information—but just so farleigh would piss off. you could still see him in your peripheral vision, but this time he’s leaned closer against the table. “get a life, farleigh.” you mumble under your breath. he laughs dully, a small smirk forming on his lips. “that is rich coming from you. you really like assuming shit, don’t you?”

“well maybe if you took my name out of your mouth, i wouldn’t be assuming.” you reply nonchalantly as you close the book, standing up to leave. you pack your stuff back in your bag, turning away from him. he mouths a quiet “wow” before getting up from the chair as well, following closely behind you. he swiftly steps in front of you, blocking you from leaving. he leans closer to you, just inches away from your face. “you think you’re all that,” he starts. “but in reality, you’re just a fucking whore with no personality.” you quietly wince at his response, eyes wide. “you’re lucky that i even gave you a fucking chance. i made you known, and this is how you repay me?” farleigh spits out, he sounds truly angry—you’ve never heard him like this before. “but it’s fine,” he says while leaning back up, “such a shame, you’re a pretty face. too bad you’re boring.”

you can’t muster up a snappy comeback, you just stare at him, scanning his face for any sign of empathy—but there’s nothing. he just looks distant and cold. you glance around, realizing there was a few students nearby listening. you sniffle under him, blinking away your tears as you quickly brush past his arm.

ੈ✩‧₊˚

it hurts to pretend like you don’t care about what other people said about you, because in actuality you take all of their words into consideration—especially farleigh’s. you had successfully avoided farleigh all week ever since the conversation in the library, and in an attempt to make yourself feel better, you had finally started dressing and glamming up. of course, there was still rumors going around about you and farleigh, every day it seemed like there was a new bizzare one. you had just came back from shopping, sitting on the carpet of your dorm. it was getting dark, everyone else in the hall was getting ready for bed. as you slowly dive into a wormhole of your own thoughts, the sound of an abrupt knock on your door brings you back to reality. you blink, turning your head to look at the door.

you choose to ignore it, pretending like you weren’t there. then, another string of knocks pound on your door loudly. “oh my god, i’m coming!” you yell out as you get up from the floor. you pad over, opening it with an unenthusiastic swing. the person standing infront of you was the last person you expected—farleigh. you almost screamed when you saw him standing there. you groan loudly and roll your eyes, immediately reaching to shut the door on him. before you could lock him out, farleigh stops the door with his hand. “can we talk?” he mutters with his head low, almost as if he was afraid someone was going to hear him. you stand still in the crack of the door, contemplating whether or not you were gonna let him in. farleigh whines, shaking his head slightly.

“please?”

you sigh in defeat, slowly creaking the door open for him. he gives you a small smile before sliding through. he looks around your room for a second, taking in every aspect of your interests plastered on the walls. farleigh sits down on the edge of your bed, realizing he’s never actually seen your dorm before. whenever the two of you would fuck, it was always in his dorm, a random bathroom at the pub, or somewhere at the saltburn mansion. he runs his hand against the soft duvet of your bed, laughing to himself when he spots a pile of stuffed animals by your pillows. you shut the door, turning to face him with your hands on your hips. you stare at him, raising your brows as a way of saying “go on,” farleigh clears his throat, clasping his hands together in his lap. “i’m sorry.” he sounds hesitant when he says it, like he’s being forced to apologize.

you blink, staying silent as he stares up at you with bambi eyes. “and?” you press. farleigh sighs, dropping his eyes to the floor instead. “i was just upset, i didn’t mean anything i said. i love you, you know that.” he says with a whiny tone. you’ve been through this same scenario multiple times, he fucks you over, comes back to apologize and beg for you back, then you have make up sex. every time this happens, you forgive him easily, letting him fuck your brains out to forget everything he had said to you prior. you didn’t want to give in again, but the way he was looking up at you with his dreamy brown eyes, his highlighted curls framing his face perfectly, even his cologne was driving you crazy.

you missed him, you missed his voice, his explicit compliments, especially his touch. “i miss you, baby.” he whimpers. you cock your head to the side, trying to hide your excitement. “really?” you ask with dilated eyes as you slowly step over to him. farleigh nods, a small smirk forming on his lips. “please, baby—please don’t make me sit here and beg.” he groans. he looks at you up and down before reaching for your hand. he intertwines his fingers into yours, a perfect fit. farleigh nuzzles his cheek against the soft flesh of your skin, then he kisses your knuckles, a predator like glint flashing in his eyes. he pulls you onto the bed with him, placing you in his lap as he leaves a trail of delicate kisses down your neck.

“let me make it up to you.” he whispers. you moan softly, looking up at him. you lean your head against his shoulder as his hands roam up your back, then under your shirt. “forgive me, okay?” he mutters in your ear. you feel his hands stopping midway to your bra, and you whine softly in response. you lock eyes with him, nodding eagerly. he gives you a faint smile before he continues to unclasp your bra with a swift move. you knew that he’d fuck up again soon, and you knew you would run back to him again—but if it meant incredible sex, you didn’t mind.

© please do not publish my work on other sites.

[panic-in-the-multiverse]

Reunion

Pairings: Daryl Dixon & teen!reader, Tyreese Williams & teen!reader, Carol Peletier & teen!reader, Judith Grimes & teen!reader (all platonic obviously)

Requested by Anonymous: when the prison fell you and Daryl got separated, this is how you meet up, based on this request

Warnings: mention of blood, fighting, mention killing walkers/zombies, killing people, Daryl hug (yes that’s a warning), knives, guns, mention of killing kids, Terminus, hopefully if you read this you’ve seen the episode and knows what it includes, but ya know typical twd stuff.

A/N did I accidentally write this way longer than I intended yes, yes, I did, now don’t get me wrong the moment where Tyreese defends Judith is iconic but for the sake of this fic I changed it up, kinda wanna make another part

For you who wants to know the episode is season 5 episode 1

Anyway I hope you enjoy this <3

Judith giggled happily in your arms as you walked on the edge of the railway. You could’ve once imagined all kinds of trains going up and down the tracks as they blew past the trees, but now you couldn’t actually remember much about trains, you had the idea of them but not much details (and if a train were to come right now that would’ve been a miracle).

Tyreese walked a few steps behind you, with Carol in the front, as she led your group of four forward. She came to a stop when a sign that states “TERMINUS” showed up once more. It was your headed path, the sanctuary called Terminus. You personally didn’t trust it, not after the Governor, but you had to find Daryl and the rest of the group. You knew that if any of them were still alive they would’ve gone to Terminus after finding the railway. Which all of them had probably done. Along with finding Daryl you also had to get Tyreese and Judith to safety. Tyreese wasn’t fit to live on the road at the moment, he refused to kill anything that came your way leaving you and Carol to kill stray walkers, or animals for food. Judith, well, she was a baby and sometimes could be screaming all day, she was mostly quiet but the times she did cry was the times walkers got attracted. A baby was no way near fit to be on the road but here you were all of you somehow still alive (except for Lizzie and Mika Samuels, but there was no loss for you over Lizzie that’s for sure).

“We’re close” Carol stated as she saw the sign. “I’m gonna get you all there, make sure you’re safe, but I’m not gonna stay” She saw your face morph into disappointment as you nodded your head, a sad smile on your face. You’d missed her while she was gone and now she would be leaving again, and you didn’t like it, not one bit and you knew Daryl would be sad over it too which didn’t help the matter.

As you heard the rustle of leaves behind you in the forest, you all turned around to see two walkers stalk forward in your direction. Tyreese motioned with his hands to take Judith from you. Judith was carefully switched over to Tyreese and both you and Carol went forward to the walkers. Both of you killed them quickly only to notice the herd that was about to come out of the forest. Carol whispered to Tyreese that more were coming, and so all of you went into the opposite side of the railway. You hid in the forest until the walkers got distracted by shots firing not too far away from all of you.

Tyreese looked worriedly at you as he started to talk. “That gunfire it could’ve been from Terminus”

“Someone was attacking them, or they were attacking someone” Carol responded

“Do we want to find out?”

This time you involved yourself in the conversation, as you believed that you did indeed need to find out. “Yeah, we need to find out, If the others are there they might need help”

With that, and Carol's instruction of walking another track that would get you there as well you all started to walk once more, this time in need to find out the truth.

Your next stop had been outside a small worn out cabin, but it wasn’t the cabin that got your attention. What got your solely attention as you hid in the forest with your companions was the man that talked in a walkie-talkie. He was putting up a bunch of fireworks, no doubt to lead the herd of walkers away from Terminus. You could faintly hear him mention a woman with a sword, and you stopped Carol from going forward. As you continued to listen you heard him mention a kid with a hat and that was all you needed to go on. You didn’t think there were that many women with a sword and kid with a hat together nearby at the same time, so it didn’t take much to know that they were talking about Michonne and Carl. Nor did it take long to realize they had done something to your group, thereby also Daryl. Especially when he mentioned bleeding the kid out.

Carol slowly started to creep up behind the man and you followed not far behind. Tyreese more hesitant but still following. She put her gun toward his head, the young man froze and put his hands up still holding the two way radio. “Keep your finger off the button and drop it”

“Listen, ya’ll don’t have to do this. Whatever you want, we got a place where everyone’s welcome”

“Shut up man” it was what all three of you were thinking but Tyreese was the one to say it.

“Okay”

“We’re friends of the chick with the sword and the kid in the hat” Carol pressed the gun against his head forward, making the man lean forward as the gun touched his head.

It didn’t take long for you and Carol to tie him up and drag him (not so carefully) into the cabin leaning him against one of the walls. Throughout the whole ordeal the man continued to tell the three of you that you didn’t have to do this, that you could all come up with a deal, but he had no luck there.

As Carol made herself ready to scout Terminus out to see what was happening Tyreese continued to hold Judith in a protective embrace. You however had been asking the man questions, finding out that ever since the first questions he had been lying. He told you he only had Carl and Michonne, that they had both attacked them out of nowhere, that they were just protecting themselves. But none of you believed him. Not with the things you heard him talk about before you confronted him.

You would of followed Carol to Terminus had it not been for your will to protect Judith and Tyreese. As much as you loved Tyreese he wasn’t in his right mind. So you stayed to help if anything bad were to happen, to walkers coming your way or your prisoner getting free somehow, it didn’t matter you were there to protect your family. You only hoped Carol wouldn’t need any help.

Talking about your prisoner he was even more shatty when Carol left. Apparently a teenager, a baby and a man who he could clearly see wasn’t going to kill him was no threat to him. It was his undoing in the end. He underestimated you both and it showed in the way he talked to you and Tyreese as you sat by Judith, who’d you made a makeshift bed to.

“She got a name?… Hey, she got a name?”

“No” you answered at the same time Tyreese answered “Judith” you glared at Tyreese as he told the stranger her name, you didn’t want to give him any information, you never knew if it would backfire.

“She your daughter or something?”

“She’s a friend”

“Huh, I don’t have any friends… I mean I know people. They’re just assholes I stay alive with. The other one your friend, the woman” the younger man nodded towards the door that was now closed. Tyreese slowly looked away at the comment being conflicted about his answer. So instead you answered.

“Yes”

The man nodded and his voice that had now started to annoy you filled the room once more. “I used to have them… used to watch football on Sundays. Went to church” he let out a small laugh as if the thought of it was unbelievable. “I know, I did, but I can’t picture it anymore… it’s funny how you don’t even notice the time go by, horrible shit just stacks up day after day, you get used to it”

Tyreese turned his attention towards the man and spoke with distaste laced in his voice. “I haven’t gotten used to it”

"Of course you haven’t, you’re the kind of guy who saves babies, it’s kinda like saving an anchor, when you’re stuck on a boat-“ you had by know decided to drown out his voice as he tried to make justiciable to let him go.

Your thoughts got filled with Daryl like they had for the most time since the prison fell. You missed him. He always looked out for you. Ever since you met you were drawn to each other. Daryl used to pretend he hated you, especially when Merle was around he couldn’t have his brother think he was soft. However everyone knew he had always secretly looked out for you ever since he met you he’d felt the need to protect you. It came to the point that whenever you wanted to go on a run to get new supplies or do anything really you’d always ask Daryl. You had never spoken about it to each other but there was a silent agreement between everyone even you and Daryl that you were his kid and he your father. It might not be by blood but it was how it had come to be. Everytime something happened to you if you got hurt or if you were sad they’d always notify Daryl, but most of the time he already knew and would be with you to try and cheer you up in his own moody way. When you’d been out on the road before you found the prison you’d always sleep next to each other making sure the other one was safe. Even in the prison your cells were next to each other. He always looked out for you. He taught you how to hunt, he taught you how to use his crossbow, and to fight people to be able to protect yourself. Like Judith was “little asskicker”, you were the “big asskicker”. You couldn’t help but to miss him and the thought of him being hurt from the people in Terminus made your stomach hurt. You didn’t really want to voice your thoughts but you needed the reassurance and Tyreese was the only one who knew who Daryl was and could give reassurance. So against the warnings your mind gave you, you voiced your concerns.

“Do you think Daryl’s okay?” Your voice came out quieter than you expected as your mind filled with more scenarios in which Daryl had gotten hurt in.

Tyreese turned from Judith to look at you. He tried to give a reassuring look on his face as he answered. “I’m sure he’s fine Y/N”

”So Daryl’s your dad, maybe boyfriend” he continued to gues what Daryl was as you made no indication of actually giving anything away to him. After a while he stopped, he wouldn’t get anywhere with you, but he was still confident that if he talked enough to Tyreese, he would let him go.

“See, you’re a good guy, saving babies and teenagers.

“You have no idea about the things I’ve done”

“You’re a good guy, that’s why you gonna die today, it’s why the baby is going to die, why Y/N is going to die” both you and Tyreese stood up taking an intimidating step towards the man, your knife pointed at him. “Or… you can get in that car, get out of here, keep on being lucky.”

“You think you’re gonna kill me?”

The man turned his sole attention to Tyreese as he answered him. “Why haven’t you killed me? How does having me alive help you? Why the hell are you even talking to me? Take the kids, take the car and go, I don’t want to do this today”

“For your information we could always use you to get more information or we could kill you now, like you said we have-“ you got cut off by an explosion going off. Tyreese rushed to the window to see what was happening and saw the smoke over the forest.

“Is that Terminus?” The man moved forward as if trying to see out through the window but he had no luck in that department as he slouched back towards the wall.

“Yeah, probably”

“Maybe you’re gonna win this, maybe your friend, I mean maybe that woman just got capped, maybe I’m gonna be the one who gets capped when she comes back”

“Nobody’s got to die today”

“Man if you believe that… then it’s definitely gonna be you and the kids, even if the place is burning to the ground”

“Man maybe you can shut up and stop talking before I kill you myself” the man took his eyes of Tyreese to look at you as you had your knife pointed at him an annoyed look on your face. He didn’t believe for a moment that a teenager would be able to kill him, nor win in a fight against him. He had a way to high ego to think that you would be able to do any harm to him, he underestimated both you and Tyreese and when he heard as well as saw Tyreese look out at the walkers coming toward the cabin he moved quickly and soon enough his hands went to hold Judith in a hold that would be easy to break her neck.

He told you both to drop your weapons and you both did so not wanting him to hurt Judith. As he saw the walkers claw at the windows he looked towards Tyreese telling him to go outside. As Tyreese went outside he went over to you and bound your hands together with some spare rope just like you had done to him earlier. He made sure the knot would hold before he went over towards the walkie-talkie and tried to connect to the woman (apparently named Cynthia) on the other side.

While he did all that you tried to desperately tie up the knot that held the rope around your wrist together. Right as you were able to get rid of the rope around your wrist (thankful Daryl taught you how to do it) the noise from outside stopped. It became deathly quiet and the man looked towards were the last pounding against the walls had been. He took out his knife and was about to kill Judith when you quietly and quickly grabbed the knife that was laying right were you left it beside you on the floor and you ran over to the man. You saw red as you knocked him over, he had threatened to kill Judith and Tyreese. Threatened your sister and one of your closest friends. You knocked him towards the floor and your hand went into the air as you threw it down onto him repeatedly stabbing the knife in your hand into him. even after he was clearly dead.

Tyreese had to carefully walk over to you as he took the knife away from you. He told you that the man couldn’t hurt them anymore nor the walkers, everything would be okay. You appreciated his comfort as you hyperventilated for a few minutes over the fact that you’d just killed a human. You’d killed walkers before but never a human being. In your mind it was justified as he was about to kill all of you anyway, but you still felt like you’d lost something inside of you.

It was a while later when you glanced out of the window and saw Carol as she walked towards the cabin, Rick not that far behind. You broke out in a relieve laugh as a smile spread briefly over you lips, this made Tyreese glance out towards where you were looking. You booth scurried to get everything as you both wanted to leave the cabin not being comfortable to stay inside any longer than you needed to.

As both you and Tyreese stepped out of the barn you glanced at the people led by Carol. Your eyes scanned the crowd looking for one person in particular.

Daryl stared at you in disbelief he couldn’t believe you were actually alive, he’d seen you get shot, and without medical attention he guessed you’d died. He hadn’t wanted to keep hoping in case he would someday find your corpse rotting away (either as a walker or actually dead).

Daryl took in your bloodied state, you’d no doubt had to fight. Dirt and blood covered most of your clothes, and your face had a few cuts covered in dried blood. Your once white shirt was miss colored and your jeans had been ripped in some places, your jacket had blood stains all over it. Daryl could only guess what you’d gone through to end up looking like that (he didn’t even look that bad). He didn’t like all the blood covering you, he didn’t like not knowing what had happened, he didn’t like being away from you, he needed to protect you, he’d lost Beth to a couple of strangers, he wouldn’t lose you too.

When your eyes finally found Daryl, you had a soft smile on your face as you saw him visibly relax at your eye contact. While Rick and Carl ran towards Judith in Tyreese’s arms, Daryl stumbled forward towards you, dropping his crossbow to the ground. You met him halfway and he engelfulled you in a tight hug. You’d never know nor would anyone else but Daryl let a few tears fall in relief as he hugged you tightly knowing you were still alive, actually alive. As he felt you wrap your arms around him he felt you hug him just as tight, the comforting sensation you both brought each other was all you needed to ground each other and know that either of you were dreaming, this was real and both of you were okay.

As Daryl heard you sniffle he realized you were crying and he hugged you even tighter, taking one hand to your head and petting it softly — not knowing fully how to comfort someone, even now, having comforted you all those times before he still was unsure if he did it right. However he did know that you were crying from relief, because he did the same thing. You had your father back and he had his kid back and knowing that, you both knew that everything would be okay in the end. You were yet to be bested by someone when together, even when apart you always won, always found your way to back to each other. You would beat this world together and that was all that you needed to know, and the fact that neither of you were planning on leaving soon.

[mischievouslittlecreature]

Part 26: Do You Love Me

Summary: In an attempt to try to fix things, Tommy accidentally makes a mistake that sends shockwaves through his relationship with Lucy.

Word Count: 6,709

Warnings: Tommy being a fucking idiot, angst, polyamory, sexual content, insecurity, jealousy, suicidal thoughts, and drug use.

Previous Chapter • Series • Fic • Next Chapter

Chapter 9: The Deal

“But this is the deal: You don’t fuck anybody else in my house. Nor within a day of holding our child by the hand. A day on either side. And you let me in sometimes. Into your head.”  

He had not thought. Had not even taken a moment to process it all. Truth be told, he was still quite drunk from all the whiskey and champagne he’d drank at the Garrison.

And he did not entirely take her conditions all that seriously. All he saw was a chance to finally put an end to all the ridiculous squabbles and battling he and Lizzie had been partaking in recently. And a chance to butter her up. So that when he asked where Linda was, she would not hesitate to tell him. 

And she didn’t. He had been successful in that regard, at least. She sold her dear friend down the river without a second thought when, after they were done, he looped his arm around her waist and murmured the question sweetly into her ear. 

He always somewhat dissociated from these encounters. Performed. Said and did what he figured she wanted him to say and do. It was easier that way. Kept her happy. 

Or, kept her happy enough at the very least. 

“To clear it out. That what needs clearing out. Agreed.”

But he had not thought of what he was agreeing to. Not really. Not until the concurrence had long ago left his lips. It was not until he had slipped out of bed, pulling his trousers back up and making his way to his office, that he started to really think about the deal Lizzie had just coaxed him into making. 

A sharp swell of horror and shame blossomed within him at the realization that he had not even thought of Lucy at all when agreeing to an arrangement that would effectively ban him from touching her anywhere but their apartment in London. 

He swallowed hard, fingers toying around the little cyanide capsule clutched between them. The idea of placing it between his teeth and biting down was tempting. Far better than having to go to Lucy’s room and tell her what he’d just done. 

The door to his office blew open, and Lizzie came in, demanding to know who he’d just been speaking to on the phone. Despair filled her eyes at his confirmation that it was Arthur.

What the fuck did you think I was going to do, Lizzie? Why do you think that I asked after Linda in the first place?

“You marry a Shelby, you stay fucking married,” he told her as he stood from his seat, going to the door. 

“Tommy.”

He could hear the trembling of anger in her voice. Sighing, he stopped, turning to face her. She drew herself up to her full height. 

“We made a deal.”

He drew in a ragged breath, a knot forming in his throat. Maybe it wasn’t too late to push forward a contingency. A special exception for Lucy from the new rules Lizzie had just put forth. “Lucy doesn’t count–” 

“Oh, yes, she does,” Lizzie took a step forward, a sneer twisting her face. “No exceptions, Tommy.” Something gleamed in her eyes when she threw those words he had once used when he first hired her as his secretary back into his face. 

He stared at her, and wondered where that woman had gone. She had been so sweet and fun, then. Hopeful. Happy, even. What happened to her? Was it him? Was he the one who had killed that version of Lizzie, leaving nothing but the bitter, spiteful person who now stood before him?

Maybe that was the real reason he’d given in so effortlessly to her demands. His guilt over what he put her through–and would continue to put her through–was a crushing weight on his shoulders. She didn’t deserve the bent, twisted bits that were all he was able to offer her. If he were a better, less selfish man, perhaps he would let her go. But he was neither of those things. 

He could tell her to fuck off. Just ignore her demands and carry on as he had been. But there was a very strong likelihood she would storm out on him, then.

Thinking back, he remembered the shimmer of unbending insistence in Lizzie’s eyes as she laid out her conditions. No; there would be no exceptions. He agreed to her terms, or she left. She did not have to even tell him that; he had read it in her face. 

And you still said fucking yes. 

Much as he hated it, he needed her. He couldn’t manage the kids and the house on his own, not to mention the importance of having a wife when it came to public image. 

But he had to try. At least he could say to Lucy that he tried…

“You cannot be serious, Lizzie. With her, it’s different…”

“To you, maybe. But not to me. To me, she’s just some slut that you fuck on the side.”

His fingers flexed, balling into fists, trying to keep his temper reigned in. “Don’t you dare talk about her like that,” he warned, voice a low growl. His eyes narrowed, challenging. “You don’t really mean any of that, anyway.”

Something wavered in Lizzie’s eyes, and he knew that he was right. As almost always was the case with her, she was just mad, and saying things that she only half meant.

She and Lucy had been halfway to being real friends, once. And there were still bouts of time, even after the marriage, that they had seemed to be getting close to being in that place again. That had to indicate that somewhere, under all the jealousy and bitterness, Lizzie held some semblance of fondness or affection for her. 

But her eyes hardened over again, stubbornness and resentment winning out over any sort of endearment for Lucy that may or may not have been there. “Those are my new conditions, Tommy. I’m not budging on them.”

He sighed. He wasn’t going to get anywhere with her on it tonight. She was too angry about him using her to find out where Linda was. 

“We’ll discuss it later,” he relented, and turned to leave once more. 

“You’re going to her,” she accused. 

“You expect me to believe that you want me to spend the rest of the night with you?”

Her jaw clenched, but she did not speak to the alternative. Shaking his head, Tommy shoved past her to the door.

“Not in the house! Or a day on either side of holding Ruby by the hand!” Lizzie yelled after him. 

“Yeah, I fucking got it!” he shouted back, footsteps heavy on the floor. He stomped miserably all the way to Lucy’s room, hand hovering uncertainly at the doorknob, balling his fingers briefly into a trembling fist. 

What the fuck am I going to tell her?

He forced himself to open the door, stepping into the darkened room. Laying across Tommy’s usual spot on the bed, Shadow lifted his huge black head from where it was resting on his paws. In the dark, his brown eyes shimmered, wolflike. Had he been an intruder, the dog likely would have leapt on him in an instant, sharp teeth snapping at his throat. But instead Shadow's tail wagged back and forth across the sheets at the sight of him. 

“Move over, mate,” he requested, stripping out of his trousers and gently encouraging Shadow to move out of his space and go sleep in his dog bed instead. There was still Trouble to contend with where she was snuggled against Lucy’s side, but at least there was room for him. 

He was thankful to the animals for keeping her company, and making sure that she stayed warm on the nights that he was away. 

Do you not feel ashamed? To climb into bed with your lover when your wife’s touch is still cooling on your skin?

He flinched at the thought, freezing halfway into climbing onto the mattress, suddenly tempted to go find a spare room and sleep there instead, to spare himself the shame and guilt. 

Hilarious, of course, to ever think that he could escape either of those. 

The opportunity was taken, however, when Lucy shifted in her sleep and cracked an eye open, squinting at him. 

“Hey.”

He cleared his throat roughly, hoping that his voice sounded somewhat normal. “Hi.”

“Lizzie throw you out?”

“Sort of.”

“Mm.” She scooted, making more room for him, and he finished climbing in beside her. Immediately she snuggled her head atop his chest. “Did you get what you needed from her?”

“I did.”

Her fingers stroked over his ribs. “Good.”

He stared down at her in the dark. Beautiful, even when still half asleep. Her red hair spread out across his chest, lips somewhat pouty with exhaustion. 

He opened his mouth, to tell her of the awful, terrible thing he had just done to them. And then she turned her head and laid a kiss to the center of his chest, growing heavier in his arms as she started to drift off. He closed his mouth, words dying in his throat. 

Coward. 

He would have to tell her eventually. But not tonight. He couldn’t bring himself to. 

“Lucy?” he said, instead.

“Mm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

He tipped his head back against the pillows, staring up at the canopy, one arm around her and the other thumbing at his brow. 

But will you still? After you learn what I’ve done?

∗ ∗ ∗

Lucy sighed as she set about straightening the papers in front of her, tucking them into a folder that went into one of the locked drawers in her desk. She checked her watch, frowning at the time. She was supposed to accompany Tommy to a restaurant for a meeting with several other politicians. If they didn't leave soon, they would be late. Tugging on her coat, she double checked to make sure that she had her notebook and pen in her pocket. A moment later, Tommy emerged from his office, shrugging on his coat. 

“Ready?”

She nodded, waved good-bye to Adam, and followed Tommy out into the hallway. 

“I thought that we’d walk,” he said as he held the door open for her. The London air was crisp, but not unpleasant against her cheeks. She raised an eyebrow.

“Alright.”

They walked in silence for a while, the bustle of people and cars around them a familiar sound. Lucy chanced a glance over at Tommy to find him frowning, head angled down so the shadows cast by his cap obscured his eyes. 

“About the talk that I had with Lizzie last night…” Tommy said finally, something that she would have almost considered to be nervousness in his voice. When he didn’t say anything more for a minute, she frowned. 

“Yes?”

“We made a deal,” he continued. Something close to dread twisted in her gut, though she couldn’t name why. “She’s not going to go through with the divorce.”

“That’s good.” Though she wasn’t really sure if it actually was. Useful as Lizzie was to them as Tommy’s wife, Lucy still wished at times that the poor woman would just let him go. Lizzie was a good woman. She deserved to be happy. To have someone who loved her as much as she loved them. Guilt churned in her chest. It was unfair and illogical, to think that she was in some way stealing Lizzie’s share of love from Tommy. And yet still the thought persisted.

Another glance over at Tommy and the deep frown on his face doubled the dread bubbling in her stomach. “What did she want?”

Tommy coughed. “She doesn’t want me to fuck anyone else at Arrow House. Or a day before or after holding Ruby by the hand.”

She almost tripped over her own feet, but somehow managed to keep her composure. It was like someone had punched her in the gut. “Oh.”

“Luce, listen,” he said softly, “we can still go to hotels. Or the apartment here in London…”

Lucy blinked hard, swallowing roughly. A sharp wave of hurt washed over her, mind whirling as she began to process all of the ways in which this new shift in their arrangement with Lizzie would change things. 

He hadn’t even thought to talk to her about it before agreeing to it…

A choking feeling of being discarded and unimportant clawed its way into her chest and burrowed itself there. 

“We’re here,” she nodded to the sign of the restaurant across the street.

“Lucy…” Tommy pressed softly, brow furrowed with worry. She sighed, feeling bad for having brushed him off. Giving his arm a small squeeze, she offered him the most reassuring smile that she could manage. 

“We’ll talk about it later, alright?”

Tommy didn’t look fully convinced, worry still evident in his brow, but he nodded, holding the door to the restaurant open for her.  

She moved through the rest of the day in a bit of a stupor. Her mind kept turning over cruel, self-deprecating thoughts. And as much as she tried to convince herself that they weren’t true, embers of doubt continued to burn in her mind. Tommy was quickly sucked back into the rhythm of work, though she could have sworn that he kept shooting worried glances in her direction when no one was looking. 

∗ ∗ ∗

Work was a welcome distraction, keeping her mind mostly occupied from her reawakened insecurities and a feeling she almost wanted to call betrayal. Despite her promise that they would discuss it later, she’d been consciously avoiding the topic of the new agreement between Tommy and Lizzie. He’d tried to bring it up once or twice, but she’d again brushed him off, not yet ready to deal with it. They had work to do. Once that was done, then they could worry about their personal lives.  

They had gotten back late, and she had gone straight to her office, depositing her briefcase.

“You’re back late.”

She looked up to see Lizzie standing in the doorway, arms crossed elegantly over her chest, head tilted to the side. Lucy swallowed dryly. Lizzie looked tall and regal. After a full day at work and the long drive home, Lucy felt disheveled and exhausted. 

“Meeting ran late,” she explained, walking to the door. Lizzie stepped back into the hallway to allow her through. The heavy wood closed behind her, keys jangling as she locked up the office so the children or animals wouldn’t get into it. 

“Did Tommy tell you about our new deal?”

When she glanced back, Lizzie was looking down at the floor, arms still crossed.

“Yes,” she began to walk towards her room. Lizzie followed her.

“It wasn’t anything personal, Lucy.”

She let out the smallest of bitter laughs, opening the door to her bedroom and leaving it open so Lizzie could follow her inside.

“You can see why it would be hard for me to believe that.”

Lizzie sighed, sitting down on the edge of Lucy’s bed. “I’m sorry.”

Lucy shook her head, not believing that for a second, and walked away to the window. “I don’t understand why neither of you could have at least talked to me before finalizing any sort of new arrangement.”

“This is my house–”

“I live under this roof, too, you know. This affects me. I’m not even saying that I would have said no. It just would have been nice to have at least been included.” Lucy gazed out the window for a long moment. “You knew from day one what the arrangement was going to be, Lizzie. No one lied to you about that. You knew exactly what you were marrying into. And you said that you were alright with that. And yet from the moment you’ve moved into this house, you’ve wanted me gone.” 

“That isn’t true.”

“Don’t try to lie to me. It doesn’t fucking work. What exactly did you think was going to happen? That after you were married, he’d fall in love with you and leave me? You have such an unfair, romanticized version of him in your head. And you're so furious every time he does something that challenges that. Even though he’s never lied to you or deceived you about who he is,” Lucy rubbed at her eyes. “Look, frankly, I don’t give a single fuck about your relationship with Tommy anymore. What is bothering me is that you two are making everyone else around you so miserable that it’s painful to even be in the same room as you.” She drew the curtains closed and turned around. “Believe it or not, I don’t want to see you unhappy. I’ve done everything that I could to try to accommodate you. I don’t know what else to do to make you happy.” She sat down on the opposite edge of the bed from her. “Actually, that’s not true,” she met Lizzie’s gaze. The taller woman pursed her lips, looking down at her hands almost in shame. “But I don’t think it’s very fair that I’m the one who should have to lose everything because you’ve realized that you bit off more than you can chew.” 

“Excuse me?” 

Lucy tilted her head to the side. “What exactly is it that you think you’d accomplish if I left?” There was no accusation in her tone, just simple curiosity. Lizzie looked away and didn’t answer. Lucy shrugged. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I am the problem. Maybe I leave and he falls in love with you. Finally changes into the man that you’ve fantasized that he would be all these years. Or maybe he’ll resent you,” she shrugged, her eyes focusing on a portrait of a horse on the far wall, fingers picking at a stray thread in her trousers. “Maybe you’ll get to find out.” 

“What does that mean?” there was a trace of alarm in Lizzie’s voice. Lucy looked at her to find her eyes wide, almost worried. She was suddenly very tired.

“I don’t know yet,” she admitted. “Look, I don’t want to fight with you. I don’t have the energy right now,” she cleared her throat. “So, could you please leave me so that I can try to sleep?”

Something softened a fraction in Lizzie’s eyes, her long fingers reaching out to Lucy before she seemed to think better of it and pulled her hand back. She stood silently, going to the door. She turned back to look at Lucy from the doorway. Her mouth opened to say something, but then changed her mind, instead disappearing out the door without another word.   

∗ ∗ ∗

The next few days were spent locked in a limbo of uncertainty and awkwardness. Time spent at Arrow House hurt. In the handful of days since Tommy told her about the agreement she did her best to keep mostly to herself, actively avoiding both Tommy and Lizzie and instead spending most of her time locked away in her office or her room.

Lucy still was unsure of what exactly she wanted to do. Yet with every night she spent curled up alone in her bed, the deeper the thought of leaving burrowed into her brain. She was living in a house with four other people and a decently sized staff, and yet she had never felt so lonely. Perhaps her leaving really would be what was best for everyone.

It was the weekend. Lizzie had taken Charlie and Ruby out riding while Lucy and Tommy finished up on some work. She was in Tommy’s office, ruffling through a stack of papers, brow furrowed in concentration, when two strong arms wound around her waist, fingers toying with the buttons on her burgundy waistcoat. A kiss was pressed to the base of her neck, her back tugged to press fully against Tommy’s front.

“I like this waistcoat,” Tommy purred, pressing more kisses to her neck. Lucy giggled, squirming at the tickle of his lips against her skin. With one quick movement Tommy spun her around, fingers hooking in the belt loops of her trousers to pull her close and press a kiss to her lips. A contented sigh fell from her mouth, fingers twisting in his hair. His touch was addictive, voice a deep rumble that went straight to her core as he mumbled sweet nonsense to her in Romani. Big hands gripped her hips, lifting her up to set her on his desk. Her thighs fell open on near instinct, Tommy’s body slotting definitively between them, pressing himself firmly against her. 

She had nearly forgotten how easy it was for Tommy to make her forget everything else in the world with a simple caress. His kisses to her mouth were growing sloppier and more urgent, hips rutting forward to grind the growing bulge in his trousers against her clothed core. His hands fumbled at her shirt, undoing the buttons of her waistcoat, palms warm through the thin material of the white shirt she had layered beneath it. Her own hands smoothed across his shoulders, nails digging in and pulling a growl from his throat. Tommy’s left hand pulled away from her waist to instead cradle her cheek, tilting her head so he could press eager kisses to her neck. 

The feeling of the cool metal of his wedding band pressing against her skin was like a bucket of cold water being dumped over her head. Lucy froze, body tensing as Tommy nipped playfully at her pulse point. 

“Tommy,” she said, the hands on his shoulders pushing him away gently. “Tommy, stop.”

He froze, ceasing his movements and pulling back to look at her. Lucy heaved out a sigh, hand tracing along his jaw. She smiled sadly.

“We can’t.”

He blinked. The hands on her fell away, leaving her mourning the warmth and comfort that their touch brought. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Right,” his gaze fell to the floor. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright,” she lied. Her forehead bumped against his when she leaned forward. She knew that he felt bad about the whole situation. There were the constant worried glances in her direction, paired with the way he had been treating her more…softly lately. Not that Tommy had ever treated her in a way that could be described as harsh, but he was noticeably more delicate towards her now. Like he was afraid that one wrong word or movement would shatter her into a million pieces.  

She understood what he had been trying to do. He wanted to make her feel better. Sex was one of Tommy’s coping mechanisms. His way of forgetting all of the pain and bullshit for at least a little while.

For a moment they remained there, foreheads pressed together and eyes closed. Lucy was afraid to move, to even speak. That if she did it would kill what little resolve she still clung to and she’d give into the temptation that Tommy offered. Denying herself what she wanted, particularly when it came to him, wasn’t something that she was used to. But once they opened that door there would be no closing it, and the moment Lizzie thought that her rules were being broken…it wouldn’t be good. For anyone.  

“We should get back to work,” she finally whispered, voice a hoarse rasp. Tommy nodded.

“Yes,” his voice alarmed her a little, sounding so defeated and sad. He stepped away from her, smoothing his hair back into place and walking around the desk to sit down in his chair. Lucy watched him as she worked on re-buttoning her waistcoat. 

He seemed so far away, suddenly. Eyes glazed over and sorrowful. She wanted nothing more than to let herself fall into his arms and let him make them both forget about this sudden chasm that had opened up between them.  

Instead she smoothed herself down, shoved all thought and feeling deep down, and got back to work.

∗ ∗ ∗

Everything had remained as it was. Her clothes. Her boxes of jewelry. The bed in the middle of the room. Even the portraits on the wall. The maids were allowed in to dust and clean, but that was all. Only Lucy, Tommy, and Frances had keys to the room. Not even Lizzie was allowed access to it.

The bed was as soft as Lucy remembered when she sat down on the edge of it, gaze focused out the massive windows. She took a small sip from her little bottle of opium, closing her eyes as she felt the substance begin to seep into her mind. 

“This is a stupid idea.”

For the first time in what felt like days, Lucy’s lips twitched upwards into some semblance of a smile.

“I’m open to suggestions.”

“Stay here. Don’t let her run you out of your own home.”

“If I stay here, it’ll only increase the chances that Tommy and I slip up.”

“So?”

She sighed heavily. “Love…”

“What Lizzie doesn’t know won’t kill her.”

“You’re terrible, you know that?”

A chuckle. Lucy finally turned to look over her shoulder at the source of the low voice. Her hair was still bright golden, blue eyes stern but warm, hands shoved into her pockets. She was wearing that white blouse that she so often had on when she was working at the Garrison.

Grace smiled, moving to sit on the bed next to her. Lucy closed her eyes, letting her head rest on the ghost’s shoulder. Grace’s soft fingers stroked through her hair, her touch warm and soothing. Tears pricked in Lucy’s eyes.

“I miss you.”

Grace hummed, wrapping her arms around her. “I know, love.”

Lucy’s mind was at war with itself in its attempt to discern what Grace actually was. Part of her wanted to believe that it really was her deceased lover, watching over both her and Tommy all these years. But the rest of her could only reason that it was just her subconscious, no doubt having grown tired of her bullshit, conjuring up a recognizable figure to offer her comfort and counsel when she needed it.

“It doesn’t really have to do with Lizzie,” Lucy admitted finally. 

“Then what is it?”

She looked up at Grace sadly. “I don’t think that I can stand to stay somewhere where I feel so unwanted,” a few tears escaped her eyes that she hastily wiped away.

“Tommy wants you here.”

Lucy looked away, biting her lip.

“You don’t believe that?”

She shrugged. Grace hugged her tighter to her side. “Give him time, love. He’ll come up with some sort of solution. He always does. He knows that this current situation isn’t sustainable.”

“I can’t stay, Grace,” she sat up. “I can’t stay in this place that now makes me feel nothing but miserable and bitter. I don’t want to feel that way anymore.”

“And you think that if you leave, you won’t feel miserable and bitter?” 

Lucy looked down at her hands, the lump in her throat building. Grace rubbed her shoulder.

“It’s not just that,” the ghost said. “So what is it?” She rested her forehead against the top of Lucy’s head when she didn’t speak. “You can say it. It’s just me.”

“They didn’t even think to talk to me about it,” she whispered finally, the clear, blatant exclusion enough to pull a wounded sob from her throat. Grace squeezed her tightly. “And now,” she laughed painfully, “now Lizzie’s happier, since he agreed to her new rules. How can I challenge it without becoming a problem? Me just being here puts it all at risk.” She knew herself and Tommy well. It would only be so long before they inevitably slipped. Resisting temptation had never been their strong suit.  

“You’re not responsible for Lizzie and Tommy’s relationship, love,” Grace tried to soothe her.

“There’s something wrong. With Tommy. He’s just so…miserable, Grace. And I don’t know why, but maybe…maybe if things can get stabilized with Lizzie, he’ll be happier,” she ran a hand through her hair. “At the very least he’ll have a peaceful place to come home to each night.”

“And you think that he’ll be happy, coming home to this house each night when you’re not in it?”

She sighed, pulling away and wiping at her tear stained face. It was good that she was getting her crying out now, though. “I don’t know.”

Grace’s hand was on her shoulder. “I’m not talking you out of this, am I?”

A sad smile. “No.” A flash of anger shone in Grace’s eyes. “What?”

The blonde shook her head. “This isn’t fair. This is your home too.”

“Not anymore.”

Grace took her hand and squeezed it as Lucy looked around the room one last time. The blonde’s lips twitched upwards a bit. “I’ll still be right here with you whenever you need me, love. No need to say goodbye.”    

Lucy managed a small smile, leaning into the kiss Grace planted on her forehead, eyes closed. When she opened them, the space beside her on the bed was empty.

She was alone once again. 

∗ ∗ ∗  

Lucy opened the door to Tommy’s office to find him leaning back in his chair, face tilted towards the ceiling. His hands were crossed over his stomach, brow furrowed. Clearly deep in thought.

“I need to talk to you,” her voice was steadier than she felt. Tommy tilted his head to look at her, eyebrow raised. He sat up in his seat.

“Alright.” 

She glanced around the office, suddenly feeling claustrophobic. “Can we go outside?” She wasn’t sure if this conversation would end in a fight or not, but if it did, she’d rather no one else heard them shouting. Tommy blinked but nodded, getting up from his chair and walking out with her towards the front door. They tugged on their coats and hats stiffly, and then Tommy was holding open the door for her, shoes crunching on the gravel as they walked towards the grass that covered the expansive grounds surrounding Arrow House. 

Tommy coughed, opening his cigarette case and offering one to her. She took it thankfully, leaning forward as he lit it for her. They walked in silence until they came to a small hill, overlooking the trees that littered the property.

“What was it that you wanted to talk about?” Tommy asked. Lucy took another drag from her cigarette, so wracked with nerves that she thought she might be sick.

“I’ve been thinking a lot. These past couple of days,” she said, still looking out at the green fields. The wind kissed at her cheeks and pulled on her hair. She took in a deep breath. “It’s not working, Tommy,” she forced herself to look at him. His face had gone a bit paler than usual. Behind those winter blue eyes, she could see the cogs in his head beginning to whir, to process the meaning behind her words. “We’ve tried everything with this current arrangement and no matter what we do, someone’s always unhappy,” she shook a few loose red locks of hair out of her face. “I think…Tommy,” she straightened her back and squared her shoulders. She needed to be strong. “I think that I need to leave.”

She had expected him to shout. Maybe pace back and forth. Kick the trunk of the tree nearby. To fight her until the sun went down. But instead he just stood there, motionless, staring at her. As if in shock.

“Tommy…” she whispered, growing a bit unnerved when he didn’t say anything. 

“Are you-” he stopped for a moment, swallowing hard. “Are you saying that you want to break up?”

“No!” she started, taking a cautious step closer to him. “No, I don’t want to break up. And I don’t want to stop working with you. I just–” she heaved out a long, slow breath. “I think that it might be for the best. If Lizzie and I aren’t living under the same roof.”

“Is this about what happened in my office? Lucy, I’m sorry. I got carried away, it won’t happen again-”

“Tom,” she said, trying to keep her voice level and soothing. “We both know that’s not true.”

His gaze dropped from hers to fix on the grass beneath their feet. When he looked back up, his expression had hardened. “No.”

“Tommy, listen to me-”

“No!” he strode forward, until he was right in front of her, towering over her.     

“Tom, Lizzie can’t handle me being so…so…present all the time. She’s told us what her boundaries are and I’m not going to trample on them.”

“You can’t leave,” his eyes were frantic, the word passing his lips like it physically hurt him.

“I’m trying to save your marriage, Tom.”

“Fuck my marriage!”

“Tommy!”

“You are not fucking leaving!”

“Tommy, you need her. She’s an integral part of your social image as a politician.”

“I need you!”

“And I’ll still be with you Tommy. You’ll see me everyday at work. You can call me or send a driver to come bring me here from Small Heath if you need me. But Arrow House is Lizzie’s now, Tommy. There’s no place for me in it. Me being here…it’s a constant, physical reminder to Lizzie that you don’t love her,” he winced at her words. “It was cruel and selfish of me to stay as long as I already have.”

He was silent as he mulled over her words. Lucy could no longer fight the need to go to him, resting a hand on his chest while the other cupped his jaw. She made a sad attempt at a smile that was painfully undercut by the tears watering in her eyes. She shrugged her shoulders. 

“We’ve tried this current living arrangement for years, Tom. It’s not working and I am clearly part of the problem.” 

“You're not a problem, Lucy,” his thumb stroked her cheek. She leaned into him on instinct, closing her eyes both in response to his warm touch and because she could no longer bear to look into those devastated blue orbs. His grip on her tightened. “We can figure this out, eh? You don’t have to leave. We can find some way for us to still be together.”  

“We can still be together, Tommy. Just not under that roof. Not anymore.” She felt the tiniest of flinches beneath her palms at her words. “Let’s just…just try this. For a little while. After things have calmed down and are more stable, then maybe we can figure something else out.” The maybe hung in the air, the weight of it heavy enough to crush them both beneath it. 

Tommy cupped her cheeks, forehead pressed to hers. His eyes squeezed shut, face contorting into a look of such raw pain she almost burst into tears at the sight of it. An exhale that sounded more like a sob burst its way past his lips. His jaw clenched, throat flexing in what she recognized as an attempt to not let himself cry. She watched patiently as his face changed from blatant sorrow to defeated acceptance. Her hands came up to cover his, stroking over the warm skin. 

“It’s okay,” she whispered, voice breaking a tiny bit at the end, eyes blinking hard to fight back her tears. She had promised herself that she wouldn’t cry.

“Where will you go?” his voice sounded very tired.

“Charlie said I could stay in the spare room they have at the yard. It’s close. And you can pick me up in the mornings on your way to London.”

He nodded. “Take Shadow with you.”

“What? No, Tommy, I can’t take your dog–” 

“Please, Luce. For my own piece of mind.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

“When will you leave?”

“Tonight.”

He sucked in a pained breath. Lucy let her hands slip around his wrists, tilting her head up to press a slow, soft kiss to his lips. Her attempt to pull back didn’t accomplish much, Tommy’s hands holding her face close to his.

“Oh, don’t go,” he begged, lips brushing over hers as he spoke, though she could hear the defeat in his voice. She rested her forehead once again against his.

“I have to.”

“No,” his grip on her didn’t loosen, even though she could hear it in his voice that she had already won.

“I have to go,” she began to tug away from him.

“No. Please, no,” her heart broke with each pleading word, her eyes closed as she forced herself to be strong. To not allow herself to just fall into him and take what she so badly wanted. 

“Yes. Yes. Tommy,” she forced her eyes to open, to look into those sorrowful blue eyes. “You have to let me go.”

His face crumpled, eyes squeezing shut as his head fell forward, arms winding around her waist to hug her tightly. He pressed one, two, three kisses to her lips. Paused a moment as if just breathing her in. And then finally his arms slackened, and he let his grip on her slide away.  

He didn’t let go of her hand as they walked back to the house in solemn silence. It was only once they’d crossed the threshold that he released her, mumbling something about having a car brought around for her.

The walk back to her room was excruciating, her eyes attempting to soak in every piece of the house she had spent so many years in. The two suitcases of packed belongings were heavy in her hands. There wasn’t nearly enough space in the cases to hold everything she owned, but she figured that once she knew where exactly she would settle down, she would come back for the rest of her belongings. Trouble was laying on her bed, lifting her head with a soft meow and watching her curiously. 

“I’m sorry, baby,” Lucy said to her, giving the cat a few pets on the head. She wished that she could take her with her to Charlie’s, but she was worried about her getting out and getting lost or into mischief while she was away at work. “It’ll be better for you to stay here. Tommy will take good care of you, yeah?”

Trouble gave her an unconvinced meow, rubbing her head against her palm. Lucy had to blink away the tears that welled up in her eyes.

“Try not to be too hard on him, sweetie, okay? You gotta take care of him for me here now.” She leaned down to give the cat a kiss on the top of her little head, then picked up her suitcases again. At the doorway she allowed herself one more quick glance at the bedroom before venturing out into the hallway.

The driver was waiting for her at the front of the house, dutifully taking her suitcases despite her weak protests that she could manage. Tommy was standing near the door, Shadow's lead clutched in his hand, a deep frown on his face as he watched her. With a trembling hand she took the lead from Tommy, Shadow happily trotting over to stand watchfully by her side. 

“I’ll come pick you up in the morning,” Tommy said, voice very matter-of-fact, eyes not really looking at her. There was little more that she could do other than nod.

“Okay.”

“You’ll call me, if you need anything?”

“Of course.”

“Alright.”

They were both quiet for a long, painful moment. Then Tommy’s palm cradled her cheek, thumb stroking along her cheekbone. “I’ll fix this,” he promised. She covered his hand with hers, fingers squeezing. 

“I’ll see you in the morning,” she forced herself to give him a small smile that Tommy didn’t return. And then she was clamoring into the backseat of the car, Shadow jumping up to sit on the seat beside her. She gazed out the window at Tommy’s figure standing there in the doorway as they pulled away. Her fingers stroked through the dog’s soft fur as she watched the house grow smaller and smaller in the distance. Finally, when it was little more than a blot in the rearview window, she buried her face in Shadow's fur, and began to sob.

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[judeswhore]

i wanna get stuck in your head; jude bellingham

summary: lazy days with jude always include pancakes and kisses

pairing: jude bellingham x fem!reader

word count: 2.8k

warnings: none this is just pure fluff

notes: you can find my masterlist here. need you all to listen to the chorus of pancakes for dinner by lizzy mcalpine to feel the fic bc i had it on repeat while writing

jude hadn't heard your alarm go off and you scrambled to switch it off within seconds, not wanting to force him out of bed early on one of his rare days off. he didn't even shift beside you, besides the slight scrunch of his nose as he buried his face a little further into the pillow. he was on his stomach, one arm crooked beneath the pillow, his other thrown across your body and the heat from him was comforting in the winter morning air. after silencing your alarm you twisted on to your side to face him.

you shuffled in closer to him, lifted your hand to softly graze your fingers across his jaw, brush your thumb over the stubble on his chin. he looked extra peaceful, lips parted as he let out the quietest snores, the constant smirk he's always wearing, gone. his mouth still seemed kiss bitten from the night before and your eyes snagged on the marks your nails had made over his shoulders, heat flushing your body.

it was unfair how effortlessly pretty he was, even while sleeping. the smoothness of his skin, the slope of his nose and the dusting of hair across the lower half of his face making him completely irresistible. he hadn't cut his hair in a while (per your request) and it was slightly longer, the tight curls a little messy from your fingers. he had lines cut into one of his cheeks from where he'd been pressed into the pillow and you smoothed your thumb over them, following them down to trace his bottom lip. he blew out a soft sigh that tickled the palm of your hand.

pressing even closer, jude's arm wound tighter around your waist, tugged your lower half firmly against his. his eyes were still closed but his lips had tilted into a lazy half smile. your hand slid around the back of his head, nails scratching gently over his scalp and he made a low noise, bumped his nose against yours.

"mornin', pretty girl." the rough, sleep coated tone of his voice made you shiver, tugged at something deep inside of you. his leg slipped between both of yours until you were a tangled mess of limbs, pressed so close together you were unsure where he ended and you started. you kissed a spot above his collarbone.

"did i wake you up?"

"mhm, your pervy staring creeped me out." this made you roll your eyes, teeth sinking lightly into his shoulder as a retort. he huffed, his breath tickling across your skin before he kissed the side of your head. "why're you up so early anyway?"

"forgot to turn my alarm off last night." jude gave a little grunt of disapproval, slid his palm down your thigh to hook behind your knee and pull your leg up over his hip. the action pressed you impossibly closer to him, closed the tiny gap between you and you were practically glued to his chest when you curled your arm a little further around his neck, fingers reaching up to toy with his curls. "go back to sleep."

"gimme a kiss first." he grinned sleepily at you, brushed his nose over yours and puckered his lips dramatically. with a soft giggle you pressed a single kiss to his pouted lips, pulled back far too quickly for jude's liking. he made a noise low in his throat, gripped at the back of your neck to pull you in to him as he chased your mouth. he kissed you slowly, a gentle, loving drag of his lips against yours, his thumb stroking lightly over the back of your neck.

your heart thumped unsteadily in your chest and you let him kiss you until you couldn't breathe, until your head spun and he was all you could think about. everything about it was lazy, from the way his tongue lulled over yours to how his thumb had started to massage a spot just behind your ear. as his kisses tapered off, grew slower until his mouth was simply hovering an inch from yours, you tugged the sheets up and over yours heads, kissed him one last time before burying your face into his chest.

jude settled quietly down into his pillow, his hand still against the back of your head, finger tips pushing softly into your scalp in the most soothing way. your own hand fell from his hair to instead press over his back, your nails grazing over his soft skin. it was warm and cozy, your bodies tucked as close as possible, the duvet over your heads creating a dark cocoon. your boyfriend pushed a kiss to the top of your head as sleep started to fog your senses again.

"i love you, y'know." it was a statement, a fact and he sounded so sure you simply hummed in reply, kissed the space over his heart to relay your own confession of love. he knew you loved him, he didn't need to hear you say it back.

it was almost four hours later before the two of you woke up properly and it took another thirty minutes to pry yourselves from the warm comfort of jude's sheets. the sky beyond his curtains was a dark grey, dull with clouds that dropped large sheets of rain. it fell fell so heavily it was difficult to see out of the kitchen window once you made your way downstairs, the loud sound of it against the roof lulling in a way. paired with the occasional rumble of thunder and flash of lightning it was the perfect storm day.

"pancakes." jude shook a bag of flour he'd pulled from the cupboard, the gesture a quiet question of whether you wanted the pancakes or not.

he looked adorably rumpled, eyes still a little heavy with sleep, lips extra plump from your eager kisses. the cold weather called for hoodies and while you'd matched yours with a pair of joggers for extra warmth, he'd simply gone without. his upper body was covered by an oversized brown jumper, the hood pulled up over his hair (he'd complained and said his ears were cold) but his bottom half was bare save for some unnecessarily tight black boxers and a pair of pink fluffy socks. your socks, they had definitely been yours at one point.

"if we've got eggs." you crossed to the other side of the kitchen in search of the egg box, grinning triumphantly when you found it almost full. you could hear jude riffling through the fridge and cupboards as you grabbed the whisk and mixing bowl, balancing the frying pan on top with shaky hands. "babe, will you grab the ladle from the middle drawer?" his hummed reply was soft.

you placed everything on the middle island, jude's arms reaching around your body so he could set the milk and flour down, the ladle following behind. his chest was warm against your back and he dipped his head to press a chaste kiss to your temple before stepping away again.

"y'wanna make them into shapes?"

"hm?" you were pushing yourself up onto the counter top when he asked, brows drawing together in confusion. thunder rumbled over the roof and the rain started to fall a little harder. jude was fiddling with his phone with one hand, his free hand pulling open one of the top cupboards.

"my mum got these cookie cutter things when she was in her crazy baking phase and i'm sure she has a love heart one in here." he flashed you a toothy grin that made your stomach flip. "wanna show you how much i love you." music started playing softly from his phone, dominic fike's voice making your own lips tilt into a smile, and jude finally pulled a red heart shaped cookie cutter from a box.

"we can use that and it won't melt or anything, right?"

"nah, should be fine." he padded across to you, settled himself beside your dangling legs from where you were perched on the counter top and passed you the cutter while he reached for the bowl. "y'got everything we need?"

"think so, i didn't look for anything to measure the stuff out with though."

"s'all good, we'll wing it. i know we need two eggs, we'll just guess the rest." jude set the bowl down in front of him and started on cracking the eggs, the look of concentration on his face tugging at your chest. he tucked his bottom lip between his teeth and furrowed his brows, head tilted to one side and it was impossible not to lean forward and kiss him.

your fingers pushed his hood down, thumb grazing softly over the nape of his neck as you pressed forward and landed a kiss against his jaw. his lips immediately kicked into a lazy smile, an appreciative hum rumbling in his throat. your mouth brushed the curve of his jaw and then you were pressing light kisses down his neck, paying extra attention to the soft spot behind his ear.

using your pointer finger on your free hand, you gently turned his face towards yours. he complied easily even as he tried to keep his eyes on the bowl and the egg he'd just cracked. his attention wavered however when you kissed him. his lips parted instantly, tongue meeting yours in slow, lazy movements and you gripped his chin, tried to kiss him a little deeper. he let you for a few moments, his soft moan making your head spin and you were tempted to tell him to leave the pancakes and just kiss you properly. his chin suddenly dipped so he could pull away from your next kiss, head turning back to focus on the bowl.

"baby, c'mon, y'know i can't do it if you keep kissin' me like that." you huffed a soft laugh and muttered an apology into his skin, kissed his cheek one last time before sitting back. "pour the milk in for me, i'm gonna switch the hob on."

a chill swept over you when jude moved away, the space where his thigh had been glued to yours suddenly extra cold. you slid down off the counter and got to adding the milk into the bowl, making your best guess based on the past times you'd made pancakes. the rain was still pattering against the window and behind you jude was singing softly along to the music coming from his phone. his voice cracked a little and you giggled, throwing a look over your shoulder to see him glaring playfully at you.

he switched the hob on before making his way back over to you, sliding up behind you so his chest was flush to your back. he threw his arms around you and reached for the flour, started shaking it into the bowl to join the milk and eggs. holding the whisk up ready you watched the veins in his hand flex as he shook the bag a little quicker.

"that looks like enough, right?"

"i reckon so. let me.." you tugged the bowl a little closer and got to whisking the mixture, glowering at the tiny lumps that refused to break down. you pushed a little faster, arm starting to ache before tipping your head towards your boyfriend with an overdramatic pout. "why's it so lumpy?"

"y'just not whisking it properly, gimme it here." jude flashed his annoying smug smile as he took the bowl and whisk from you, holding it in the crook of his arm to mix. eyes rolling, you reached for the pan and the oil, tipped the smallest bit in before taking it over and setting it on the hob. you waved the cookie cutter over your shoulder to get jude's attention.

"so do we just put this in the pan and pour the mixture inside?"

"yeah. then leave it for a few seconds till the bottom of the pancake is cooking and just lift it off. need to be careful though, if we lift it too early the mixture won't have set and it'll just spill over." a grin tipped your lips and you turned to face him as he wandered over, arm working the whisk around the bowl. you stuffed your hands into the pockets of your hoodie to stop yourself from reaching for him.

"you're hot when you get all chef on me." his laugh was more a snort and he dropped a kiss to your forehead before setting the bowl down on the counter top beside the oven. "'kay, i'll like hold the cutter down and you pour the mixture in."

for the next few minutes you worked quietly, you carefully holding the cutter in place, jude repeatedly muttering at you to be careful not to burn yourself as he used the ladle to pour the mix inside the shape. the mix took a few seconds to set on the bottom and then you were taking the cutter away, an excited noise leaving your lips at the little heart pancake that was left behind.

"look how cute it is."

"i didn't think it would work actually."

"we could so win if we did bake off." with your hands now free, jude having insisted on being the one to flip, you moved into his space, settled against his chest with your arms around his waist. your cheek pressed against the soft fabric of his hoodie and he wrapped his own arms around your shoulders, spatula dangling from his fingers. he was warm and soft, comforting in a way you never thought possible and you wanted to be stuck in the safety of his love forever.

"we'd burn the tent down and you know it." jude kissed the top of your head, let his lips linger as he shuffled the two of you around so he could flip the pancake. you knew it was a slightly awkward position but he said nothing about you clinging to him, just settled his chin against your hair and watched the pancake cook.

"since the weathers shit we can watch a couple more episodes of criminal minds, we might finish season ten." you nodded, eyes closed as you let steady rise and fall of his chest and the patter of rain soothe you. you'd both been ridiculously busy the past few weeks, a lazy day of rest was exactly what you needed. "oi, stop falling asleep on me."

jude had clocked the way you'd gone half limp against him and shook his head, used the spatula to scoop the pancake from the pan and onto a waiting plate. he was gentle in untangling you from his body, purposely ignoring your pout and grumbled complaint as he led you to the stools at the kitchen island.

"sit here while i finish making these then we'll go cuddle on the sofa, yeah?"

"y'gonna make them all into hearts?"

"nah, just that one. here." he went over to rifle through the cupboards again and brought out a bottle of syrup, squeezed some onto your pancake in the shape of the letter j. he grinned adoringly at you. "cause i love you."

"you're ridiculous." jude only rolled his eyes at that, handed you a knife and fork from the drawer behind him but before he could go back to the oven you were stopping him. "wait, i wanna.." your fingers wrapped around the strings of his hoodie to tug him towards to you, his palms settling against the counter top on either side of your body and effectively caging you in. he eyed you curiously. "i want you to kiss me." and really he couldn't pass that up.

his mouth slotted carefully over yours, lips soft and loving as he urged yours open. he licked into your mouth with a slow kind of neediness, his movements lazy and just a little messy. you fisted at his hoodie and pulled him closer, gave a quiet whimper when one of his hands slid around the back of your neck and tipped you further into him. you’re not sure how long he kissed you, you got lost in the drag and pull of his mouth, in the way his thumb was brushing gently just behind your ear and then you were pulling apart to breathe. jude kept his forehead against yours, let your lips hover only inches apart as you fought to clear the fog in your head.

“your pancake’s gonna be cold.”

“oh.” you blinked and he laughed, kissed your forehead and pulled away from you, stepped back towards the oven. he was grinning, a glow to his skin and a sparkle in his eyes, an expression that was nothing but unfiltered adoration. he swiped his thumb across his bottom lip.

shying away from this gaze you let your own trail over the heart shaped pancake and the now soaked up j, a grin lifting your own lips. another rumble of thunder sounded outside and you wondered when it had started up so aggressively again, the rain lashing hard over the windows. it was still grey and miserable outside but for once you were more than thankful for the storm.

[nomoreusername]

What Life In The Safe Haven With Maze Runner Characters Would Be Like

He had an unimaginable amount of survivors guilty that made him feel heavy sometimes

You learned that if he couldn't seem to wake up it would be a bad day, and if he could it would be alright

On the bad days you would coax him out of bed, rubbing his back and whispering sweet nothings until he got up

On good days, you both went about your work, making sure the Safe Haven and your home was nice and put together

He avoids conflicts as much as possible because of everything in the past

You ended up teaching him the difference between a disagreement and a fight, which was more helpful than just pushing down his feelings until they blew up

He had a staring problem for you since the beginning that never ended up going away

You two would almost without fail eat every meal together

He generally gives very small yet sweet touches (hugs, quick kisses, etc)

Even though he never completely calms his worries or questions, he more than knows he can go to you when he has any

When you first got back, he was nervous about settling in because he was paranoid that the cure didn't actually work

You would gently run your fingers over where the bite was and cure was injected to promise that he didn't have to worry about that anymore

He tried to apologize for any outburst he had when he was turning, but you hugged him and promised that he had absolutely nothing to be sorry for

He became closer to Minho than ever before so sometimes the two of them would go somewhere to just enjoy each other's presence

When he got back he would hug you as tightly as he could without hurting you before it was time to get ready for bed

He always woke up before you but didn't mind laying there for a little bit until you opened your eyes

He got his memories of Lizzie back, and when you found out you encouraged him to speak to Sonya, which gave them time to build up a sibling bond and made you also quite close to her

You both worked in the gardens, and sometimes he would give you flowers just because he could

You started giving him ones as well, and each time he would dry them out and save them in a little book

You both just do your best to get by, one day at a time, side by side

He still gets night terrors from his time at WCKD, meaning you’ll have to hold him and promise it's okay until he wakes up

He always pretends nothing happened in the morning, but you can tell it gets to him

You’ll stay closer to him that day without smothering him, and even though he doesn't know how to say it, he does appreciate it

He has scars from how often he was tazed, but since they were injuries at first you helped patch them up until they didn't hurt anymore

You always hold him extra close during storms and put the blankets over your heads to comfort him

You two spend a significant amount of time with Thomas, which is no surprise to anybody

You guys move in fairly quickly together, already sure that you're meant to he

You talked about kids for a while, but eventually decided to just live your lives together, without worrying about caring for another person

You’ll both leave the Safe Haven sometimes to go running to get away from all the noise

He worked on opening up a few years into your time there but still had a lot of sarcasm, which you admire about him

He doesn't like bringing up Chuck so you make sure he's not mentioned around him

He ends up teaching you to make alcohol a few months in, meaning you two are the only ones who know what's in it

He ends up building the hut that you two live in, which was super impressive to watch

He’ll subtly lay his jackets out for you to take, and you always feel really giddy when he does

Even though he insists they're fine, you always make sure to patch up any holes in his clothes

You never end up having kids because it could bring up memories, but you're both perfectly content spending the rest of your days together

You have to drag him to the medic whenever he hurts himself since he tries to hide it, but he always slips his cover around you

He acts grumpy about it but ends up reluctantly yet genuinely thanking you after

He teaches you to protect yourself, partly out of paranoia he won't admit he has, and you let him while pretending not to know to keep his mind at ease

He’s still and always be very hotheaded but knows when he's wrong and always makes sure not to let it get the best of him so he can come back to you

He gave himself insomnia from all the times he would be up late in the vents at WCKD

A lot of nights, he’ll walk around by the beach until he gets tired

Your usually wake up a few minutes after and already knowing where he is, catch up to him so you can either quietly talk or walk in silence while holding hands

He’ll usually sleep in a few minutes later than you so you’ll lay beside him and lightly play with his hair until he wakes up

He never was able to adjust being friends with guys in the way he could so quick with girls, which indirectly gave you a few new friends

On the anniversary of Rachel's death, every time you sit by the shore with your hand on his shoulder as he goes through all the memories of his best friend either in his head or aloud

He always finds his way to you during the bonfire nights, even if you're not actually there

Neither of you ever got comfortable with a lot of PDA, and you're both fine with that

You end up having kids a few years after you actually get settled

You both typically enjoy keeping to yourselves and raising your family but still keep your friends around

Everyone, even him, was shocked that he made it that far

Everyone was also absolutely relieved

He was already pretty independent, but he was still the youngest which meant sometime he did need a little more help

You were always the closest to him so you became his unassigned guardian, making sure his life was as safe and stable as it could be

During bonfire nights, you would drink juice with him while watching everyone else

You always headed in early to make sure he got a good amount of sleep, and even though he tried to convince you he was fine he was out the second he laid down

He would usually mirror your jobs and was a pretty good helper

When a job was too risky, you would send him to the beach to play

He became a pretty good babysitter when people started having kids because of how young he still was and from watching you take care of him

Even though you're technically his guardian, you two always had a protective sibling dynamic

Being with her was rough because of the way she was outcasted by everyone

As an indirect result, you ended up being outcasted with her

You tried to defend her, but it always fell on deaf ears

In the end, you both decided it was best to keep to yourselves, staying out of the way as you lived a peaceful life

You both ended up working a place that would mean social interaction was fairly limited, which worked out great for both of you

To take breaks from it all, you guys would walk to the edge of the Safe Haven to sit and talk under the stars

She would end up telling you about her memories and her mom, and during these times you would hold her hand and listen

You were both able to rekindle sort of with Thomas and Minho, but you always made sure they were being genuine

You both ended up settling into a routine with people but always preferred each other's company

Everytime it was time for you both to go to sleep she cuddled you extra close to be sure that you were still with her

Jorge kept a close eye on you in the beginning but gradually ended up accepting that you really do love Brenda

In your free time, you listen to her as she reads to you

She’ll also read to you if she ever notices that you're having trouble falling asleep but never says anything about it

You weren't how sure you could trust Thomas since you were still a little salty about the kiss

Everytime she sees you thinking about that she kisses you to remind you that even though he was her first kiss, you will be her last

When you steal her jacket she pretends to be annoyed but secretly really likes it

If you have some kind of perfume or body spray she’ll wear it and then deny than she’s wearing any, no matter how obvious it is

You help her do her hair in new ways the longer it grows

Even though there's not really danger anymore, she remains extremely protective of you

Nobody would ever mess with you because the know it would somehow get back to Brenda

You both basically share a wardrobe, meaning if something of the other fits it will be worn by both of you without question

She’s super relieved that Harriet and Aris like you but not at all surprised

She is a bit more social than you but still finds ways to spend time with you and you alone

Whenever she's spent her day at the beach but you stayed home to decompress she brings you seashells

You make sure to wait up for her every time so you can both snuggle under the sheets and talk until you doze off

She’s always holding your hand or laying her head on your shoulder, which makes it very obvious to everybody that you belong to each other

She’ll lean over and whisper that she loves you in your ear which makes you blush

You braid her hair for her sometimes, which she finds very soothing

Whenever you walk in on her singing she takes your hands and dances with you

She tries to live life as happily as possible, which you love about her, but she knows she can only do that as long as she has you

She teaches you how to use a gun pretty early into your time there and takes you hunting a little at the edge of the Safe Haven

Sometimes you both use that as an excuse to go somewhere where you can be completely alone

She only really actually kisses you there or in the privacy of y'all's home, but that rule goes out the window if she's jealous or if someone else is hitting on you

Being a leader never truly left her so if you're ever having trouble with a decision you just turn to her

She always feels a sense of relief when you need her for something, and when you figured that out you started asking for small but not overwhelming favors to give her a feeling of safe control

You sleep on her side of the bed when she's out late, and when she gets home and sees that she crawls under the sheets and holds you close

If she knows she has a long day she’ll wear your shirt to keep her going

You guys end up getting a bigger dog that has the happiest home ever

Sometimes you’ll both wake up before everyone to just sit in silence and enjoy each other's company

Even though you can both get busy, you always finds ways to make time for each other

[otabeez]

New Double Life Soulmates

Look, this is entirely self indulgent and what would only be entertaining in my own weird mind.

Mumbo-Grian → Grumbo Scar-Pearl → 2v1 Joel-Lizzie → Jizzie Scott-Jimmy → Flower Husbands BigB-Cleo → Cleo Hates This Etho-Gem → Childhood Heros Ren-Martyn → Treebark Skizz-Bdubs → Team BITS Impulse-Tango → Team BITS

Alt: Mumbo-Scar → Nobody's Happy and they're out first Grian-BigB → Grian gets his wish Cleo-Pearl → The Girls Gem-Lizzie → Still Girls Etho-Joel → He's So Obsessed with me it had to happen twice

Alt alt: Etho-Bdubs → Like father like Favorite son Joel-Skizz → You blew up my CAR