#he and my mom have fought about the things this cancer caused

[kyr-kun-chan]

I knew there was something more to that break up. I was ready to hate hyeon jun if he did cheat but it turned out to be more complicated than that.

I dont know what everyone else was thinking when they saw seok ryu and hyeon jun argue but to me heon jun didnt do anything wrong. Even saying the things he said to seok ryu about her "damned depression" i can forgive him. It was a mean thing to say and seok ryu had the right to get angry but taking care of a sick person takes a toll on you. Its hard. Its frustrating. Even if you love this person so much you can get angry that you have to deal with it. You wish it wasnt like this. You want to escape and not think about it even for just one day. That's why he wanted to party. Seok ryu took that as him not caring about her but i think he did that to stay sane and forget about all the bad things for a while. But since seok ryu cant do that, she cant just forget and run away from it because she is the one dealing with it personally, she felt betrayed. I do think he shouldnt have said the things about his reputation and her dragging him down with him. That was too much. But everything else i understand.

I think he does actually still love her and has a right to love her and come find her again to win her back. And seok ryu knows this and that's why she did consider getting back with him for a moment. But it's too late because she has moved on.

[cryptfile]

✶ nuclear seasons, [ soldier boy x reader ]

summary — he was friend’s with your mom. friend is a understatement cause when he appears in the middle of the night looking for revenge in your little apartment in the suburbs, you know he’s far from being nice.

warnings — +18 minors dni, smut, dead dove do not eat, we have a last name (also a mother!), kind of porn without plot? but not really cause it HAS one okay, we call it 50/50, fem!reader using she/her pronouns, p in v, masturbation ( m! receiving but blink and you miss it), dirty talk, age gap, choking, degradation, spitting (i'm sorry), fingering, mentions of injury, cancer (not you tho), tons of tension.

side notes — i’m never experiencing the post ovulation clarity lmao, that being said english is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes, also i’m a whore for jensen ackles, and i stand for what i like proudly. // 5k+

Nightshade is a hero.

You're proud of your mother since you were pretty young. The hero that fought against Vought to death during the time Payback was active, America’s Troublemaker that you only knew as Stella Nightshade, a blonde woman that talked with the death during her golden years.

Maybe it’s your mother the one that pushed you to fight crime, to pursue the bad guys and look out for the victims that can’t stand for themselves, so even when you don’t inherit much from Stella’s gifts, you joined the CIA as soon as you can so you can do something that matters.

You’re the best in your class, work your ass off to be taken serious, to be more than the look of disappointment you receive when people ask, once again, if you have any powers like your mother and you have to admit — In pure shame, that you didn’t born as a superhero but a baby who cried loudly when is too hungry.

But as years pass you make a name for yourself, one that even if differs from Stella’s job has the same noble reasons behind. You also realize you were too naive growing up, believing in heroes that don’t deserve to be called that way.

The country has made a mistake on making superhumans so openly, and it’s clear that got out of control now, backfiring as they got so much power it’s almost impossible to take accountant of any of them.

You’ve worked along Grace Mallory from the shadows, and even when Stella would not be so proud of you for helping get his kind out of the streets, the justice is enough to feed you and keep you warm on a cold night.

You like it that way. You know Grace has a team for it, a legal army of supe-haters as you called them, yet, you prefer to stay in the dark, not let your personal life get involved cause one slip and you can lose it all— Even when you don’t have nothing at all. You like to have an outside life from work, it’s the sane thing to have, so when the CIA Deputy Director asks you about joining the infamous Boys, you politely decline assuring the woman you’ve been more helpful from the outside.

What would Stella Nightshade would say? Now that you’ve grown older and you don’t look at her the same way you used to when you encounter her files and read about your mother. You know she has done wrong, yet with the years, you don't imagine Soldier Boy himself was going to seek for revenge first thing he does when he wakes up, his plan including your mother even when she was long time dead before he even appeared in the picture.

That night especially you let your guard down. It's been a rough couple of weeks back in work, so when the night comes you're a victim of the stress, victim of your bosses and the people that surrounded you. You pour a glass of wine for yourself, light a cigarette even when you haven't smoked in years, and turn on the TV to see something else rather than the face of Homelander in every single channel you've been tuning lately.

It's a weapon. When you leave for a warm shower and start filling the bathtub, you're not aware of what that night was really going to be for you. Oblivious as you stand naked in the middle of the bathroom, holding the glass of wine between your fingers before entering the warm current that relaxed your muscles.

It seems tension is your worst enemy, makes your muscles feel like stone as you got in the water, the cigarette that hangs from your dry lips splashing with tiny droplets of perfumed water as the silence filled the air. It's what you needed, at least ten minutes with your brain shutting off completely, the pleasure you haven't experienced in forever by being so compromised with work.

It's a much-needed break. The smoke that leaves the room by the almost-closed window, the taste of wine still lingering in your lips as you sip another taste of the crimson liquor you love. You don't happen to notice when he's breaking in your apartment, silent and deadly as you were protected by a door closed and a white curtain.

You don't happen to hear him too. The music coming our from your phone is loud enough to silence the knocks on your door at first before breaking the wood, you're too deep in the still water that smelled like roses and vanilla, to even pay attention to what was going on outside the warmth of the four walls that surrounded you.

There's vapor coming out of the water and you find comfort in closing your eyes, in letting the blow of the smoke travel through your throat before suspending itself in the air, flowing as you drank.

In your defense, you haven't been like that in ages.

It's been a long time since you last fill the tub and have a relaxing session with yourself, so it makes sense you are enjoying it a little bit too much, too much cause when the invader is making a lot of noise when stepping into your property, you still enjoy the taste of the alcohol on your lips.

The ashes fall to the ceramic floor outside the tub and you should blame the CIA to make you so tense to the point it leads you to more problems than you ever had. In the dark room of your apartment, it's Soldier Boy the one who's going through any drawer he comes across, the ones closed, the ones hidden, any slit he can find, any clue that can trace your mother back to his personal vendetta.

He's oblivious to Stella's death and her daughter, so when the former superhero hears the noise in the bathroom he's fully convinced it's your mother the one who's behind that door, that she's the one who's going to tell him the truth, if she also sold him to the russians as well in the process.

He's decided also on killing her. She must need it after all that time getting older, closer to death more than ever.

Of course it's an unpleasant surprise when you can see the bathroom door opening when you're sure you left the front door closed and lock with at least two bolts to prevent anyone from getting inside, it makes you jump in the spot, quickly covering yourself from the new stranger that enters your bathroom.

"Stella?" he asks, it's the last room that the hero needs to check for himself.

You spot the green fabric of his suit immediately as you pressed your chest against the cold surface of the tub, and when the invader notices you're naked, he doesn't look away as any person with a hint of respect would do, but instead, continue on checking you out as you try to cover yourself in the water tinted in a nonexistent transparent color red.

You can feel his gaze as soon as you recognize him too, as you happen to notice that face from your mother's pictures, the propaganda in the TV when he did almost every commercial back when you were a kid. It's a shock, and dressed in his damn suit, you don't know why an old superhero is there standing beneath the yellowish bulbs of the light your bathroom happens to have.

Your cheeks adopt this pink color as you panic, grabbing the cup of wine to throw the liquid in the floor, breaking it against the marble walls just to shatter the glass in pieces, a weapon of defense as you lifted up against him.

"You're not Stella."

Soldier Boy looks amused: it's funny that you think you'd be able to kill him with shattered glass, yet he lets you keep thinking that way when he's enjoying the view.

Is he to blame? He just got out from this giant cooking oven back with the communists and he hasn't got his way with a lady since what seems are centuries, so when he spots you in the tub he simply cannot contain himself from peaking around. You should be in what? Not more than your 20's? Soft-looking skin that asked to be marked with his hands, by the force of his lips crashing in your flesh.

The thought is compelling, you're looking all feisty with the glass in your hand, threatening him and speaking something Soldier Boy cannot catch at first — Shit, he doesn't even notice the blood in your hand that's dripping all over your small rug in the floor, the power women like yourself seemed to have now and weirdly enough, a huge turn on.

"Get the fuck out!" you scream in an authority voice, the same you use back at work when you're mad, when you're usually holding a gun in defense more than a piece of broken glass "Stella is not fucking here!"

It takes a few more words to actually get him out of there, and as he closes the door behind him you finally stand to grab a towel covering from the currents of wind, trying, really hard, to think about anything else more that the fact that Soldier Boy has entered your house and your bathroom in the worst moment, far from what you were last updated with.

To be honest, it almost gave you a heart attack, leaving the bathroom to find your home torn apart, the drawers open and all the papers you've meticulously kept in place being all over the place as Ben stands awkwardly holding a shield in the middle of your living room.

"Fucking hell" you're cursing under your breath as you gathered some important things you cannot leave on the floor even when you're still wet from the shower, expelling this nice aroma that mixed the roses and the vanilla together with your personal scent — Weirdly enough, a fucking show to the hero that's already rock-hard from the peak he had of you from before.

You don't really notice it at first, too busy being mad as you let the papers you gathered on top of the table. You lose the shame you got left as the wet drops of the shower leave a trace in the floor — And as usual, you clearly don't notice it, but Ben does when the water is running down your back, and you're barking something about calling someone called Grace, holding onto a white tower with your dear life.

"Where is Stella Nightshade, sweetheart?" he speaks out loud cause he don't understand anything you say, really fighting to be nice with you like it would give him an opportunity to get under your skin.

"My mother's dead," you stand there without knowing what to say after. You know he and your mother were close, but you don't imagine he was going to actually go find her teammate when he recently woke up in a different country. "She died years ago dude, i'm sorry."

The information gathers in his head as you take a clean oversized shirt from the laundry basket covering with it as you throw the towel to the floor, Red Hot Chili Peppers it says, but he thinks it's a place in Italy more than a band like he isn't troubled already by the fact you were Stella's daughter, the person who thought was her only friend back in the time now dead.

"Does anyone know you're here?" your mind is drifting back to work again as you wondered if anyone knew he was going to break into your apartment and choose not to send any help — "Ben."

You've read his file. Hell, to be honest you've read every single file in Payback, so it's no surprise you know his name, but to the hero, it seems to be amusing when you call him by his real name, his mind fueled in a different direction as he notices you're not wearing any underwear beneath the shirt you're choosing to wear, one whose fabric's barely covering your tights.

"What do you mean dead?" he asks, furrowing his brows "It's not been so long."

"She got cancer three years ago" you explain with a sad tone, even when you disagree with Stella, it pains you to remember what sickness made out of her, consuming her from the inside at a cruel pace.

"Motherfucker," he states clearly angry, and you cannot help but look at him with a weird face, searching for the phone you left in the sofa to call any-fucking-body in the office that could send a damn army to get you: Didn't the Boys have everything under control? That's what you're told anyway, then why the fuck is the subject of matter cursing in your little messy apartment? — "Bitch just got away with it before I could do anything, isn't it? What a fucking shame."

"Pardon me?" it catches you by surprise at first, but it hits you soon after. Soldier Boy is not there to say hello to your mother or ask for her help, but instead, he's there to get revenge and actually kill Stella by his own matters.

Fuck. Of course is something new, something that makes you feel cold all sudden, your wet hair making you visible shake as you became aware of his plans.

"You know them. You know the people from the lab" it's more of a fact than a question, letting the words feel salty in his own mouth. "The ones that let me get away."

He's quickly to gather the pieces too, not as dumb as you think he is as the puzzle is finally coming up together in his head, and it's all it takes for him to take a step closer to you, cutting that space you've created since you kicked him out of the bathroom — He's angry now.

The red globe on his hand is now holding you by the throat, applying enough pressure to cut the air flow going to your lungs almost completely, his fingertips warm against your bare skin as he holds you in front of his figure, pushing you against the cold wall.

You usually would enjoy such activities, yet in the context you are trapped in right now, you began to choke, your own hands trying to push his grip back even when he’s too strong, not even flinching when you’re squirming, gasping for some air as your face became red, tears gathering in your eyes as he let you breathe for a couple of seconds when he senses you’re too close to black out.

“Talk little Nightshade” he says in a low voice. “Or else i’m breaking your pretty neck.”

“I work for the CIA!” You explain quickly as your breathing became more labored by the seconds. “Not for the people who let you out! I promise!”

He’s going to kill you. You can see the determination in his eyes, that predator look he happens to have.

What you don’t know, somehow, is that he’s going fucking insane. Your smell coming up to his nose to make him shiver, the sight of you in an oversized shirt that barely covers your shape is more than enough to push his buttons, to make him forgot about any killing he was allegedly so concentrated in fulfill, the sight of you almost crying messing with his brain.

Little Nightshade is a fucking tease.

His eyes follow your expression, the hand that gripped your neck and choke you harshly now pressing enough to only suppress the air flow in a more enjoyable way, the tension quickly shifting from dying to pleasure all over again as he kept you in place so easily.

It’s impossible to move, to do anything more than be pressed against a cold wall. Your mother has once again lied to you and you notice the relationship she painted with Soldier Boy was more of a movie in her head than reality itself. Makes you gulp in response when you stare at his expression, the face of a trained killer as you knew, fucking knew, a bit more of force in your neck and it would snap without any difficulty.

“I don’t work with them” you assure once again, maybe it’s your survivor skills hitting when you repeat it in a low voice, catching on your breath when he lets go allowing you to fill your lungs with air just enough before pressing that very spot again, the one that actually turns you on. “Fuck’s sake.”

Is that how you end? On your lame apartment?

The next is a weird thing, cause in the blink of an eye he’s close to your face planting his own body next to yours and you’re shivering at the feeling, his armor pressed against your chest as he left the shield he was holding on the floor.

The metal is pressed against your skin covered by the thin cotton of Red Hot Chili Peppers shirt, and he is so close, so close you froze there, no longer fighting his tight grip but mesmerized by his damn face, the same you watched on TV when you were a kid, the handsome man you happen to severely crush on in secret, just because you don’t want Stella to know or she will give you a long talk about how he is her age.

But he is, handsome as fuck, and now being so close to his face you can say it with all confidence. His beard is shaved perfectly and he smells incredibly good even for someone who has spent time locked away without any kind of hygiene, his green suit protecting him from the cold air that was getting through the opened window.

“Who are you?” he asks, scanning your face with a curious look as he wanted to know what expression you would have when you know why he's there in the first place — “What do you know about Stella Nightshade, your mother, selling me out?”

Fuck. So that's why he's there. You know she did it. And it's impossible for you to lie when he's making you so nervous, away from any weapon, any form of defense as you left the glass in the bathroom sink when you notice large gash on your hand, and your silence makes nothing more than leave him fuming. If he was angry before, he now reaches a higher level as his grip turns more violent now that he knows you know what he meant, why he's there claiming to talk with your death mother out of nothing.

"Call her then. Use your powers" he demands dryly, and you're shaking at this point cause it's more shame added to the long pile, the bathroom already being a humiliation by itself. "Fucking call her."

You squirm beneath his grabbing, when he's pushing you harder against the concrete wall and you can just feel him from under the suit, hard cock pressing against your belly, green in your vision as he towers over you. He knows what he's doing, and even when you try to be disgusted by it, you find yourself enjoying his closeness, how he's pinning you with no effort at all, hands on your throat while he demanded an answer.

"I can't call her" you admit in a low voice, cheeks now red as the embarrassment crept upon your face — "I don't have my mother's power."

Soldier Boy seems to not believe you for a mere second, after that you can feel the blade of the knife pressing against your skin, a threat that now becomes more real as you can feel the cold metal stomach. One swift movement and you'd be stabbed without a second thought.

It's sick how much you enjoy it when you are squirming against him, goosebumps in the zone he threats to destroy.

A force pull his lips upwards in a smile, unable to pay attention to nothing else but the sound you made without even realizing it. "You like that, huh little Nightshade?"

It seems to be a joke for him, bitting your inner cheek to prevent you from saying something stupid, from letting out a moan in response to all the sudden desire.

Despite all conditions you stay silent, holding his gaze like it's a game you're not going to lose. He didn't respond either, trapped in a second that seemed longer than the usual when time stopped around you, eyes looking like he can surpass the old fabric of the white shirt you choose to wear.

It's the tension what makes you mad. You're so into getting people like him, that your ego is bruised now that you notice you are actually attracted to all of that, to the way he's pressing you against the concrete, how all falls into place when he's pushing himself against you, invading any private space you could require.

He's kissing you soon after. Ben crumbles against the tension as the hand on your throat demands a kiss now, pulling you closer to his face without any warning nor concern as he crash his lips against yours in a rough kiss. You try to push him away in response even when you don't want to; see, it's hard to even admit you have interest in Soldier Boy in any other way more than the professional, but when he's bitting your lower lip you're letting your defense down: When is the last time you've been kissed like that?

You remind yourself you're tired from work, that the CIA has done nothing for you more than fuck your over and over even to this point, losing sight of one of the most important heroes of the word, and it's making you encourage to let go just for a mere hour.

"Lookin' so good takin' a bath" he says, and the sound of his deep voice is enough to send an electric wave through your spine, like he’s talking to himself as the hand on your hip is now tracing the curves of your body, taunting you from over the shirt he now learns to love. His beard is now scraping against your skin and you can feel his lips going down, tracing an invisible path to the crook of your neck as his hand is no longer choking you.

Jesus. Was that even happening or was that your imagination? Did you feel asleep on the bathtub? Maybe it’s a reflection as you are close to drowning, your brain doing that happy thoughts shit. You’re tilting your head to the side just to give him more space to work with and you’re just letting it be, enjoying how he’s sucking and nibling on your skin to leave a red mark behind, all teeth and no fucking control as he uses a good amount of force to make you moan in the process, the pain enough to remember who’s really on charge.

Ben forgets about asking any more questions, he’s too busy when his hand are taking decisions by themselves as they slide under your shirt, body still cold from the bath you just took, water still drying in your flesh when he’s like he usually is — An invader.

His hands are big and they’re capable of holding your whole tummy as he caress the soft skin that seems to expel a warm sensation, how it leaves goosebumps in any place he touches. You remember you’re basically at his mercy now that his hands roam with all liberty under your shirt, the look he gave you in the bathroom mistaken you for Stella, his eyes looking at any exposed skin he could look at.

“What the fuck,” you try to say under your breath, to keep on this facade you have of a composed person, one that won’t give in to be manhandled “What the fuck do you think you are you doing?”

“Well, i’m not seeing any complains” The blade cuts through the cotton leaving a large hole you know you won’t be able to sew after yet he’s right: There are no complains, nothing but eager that makes him go further as the seconds passed “In fact, can see that you’re pretty much enjoying it, Doll.”

You hate the nickname, that old man way of speaking when he’s squeezing one of your breasts with more force you can even handle, cursing at how easy it seems to be for him, how he wants to see you simply destroyed.

“You’re loving this isn’t?” he ask all sudden, studying you with his hazel eyes — “You love being a good whore f’me? My little Nightshade.”

He’s hard under the suit, covered in a green material you don’t know how to call as your hand searches for him, crave for him, convincing that it's what you must do as you trace the invisible lines his muscles made.

Soldier Boy’s messy, much like an animal when he’s groaning beneath your touch, his own body seeking for yours as your fingers grew bolder, demanding for a deeper contact — “Careful there sweetheart, i’m still fresh out of the oven. May be a little rusty."

You laugh at his words cause you know what he means, yet your hands work by themselves as you barely even touch him from over the suit, the hard feeling of his cock against your palm, hips buckling against your hand seconds after seeking for you, eyes shut for a couple of seconds.

“M’being careful” you say, catching yourself stealing a look at his reaction, taking your time on pleasuring him , gulping as he experiences the torture of your touch “Taking it slow for an old man.”

“Old man, huh? Now you're talking” He teases, and the sound of his laugh just fucks you up. Maybe it has to be with the fact he’s placing two fingers in front of your lips while looking at you, swollen pink lips he’s so fixated for a second, or it’s because he is, indeed, way older than you are — “Spit.”

It’s not a command, but it sounds like one as you’re unable to disobey, quickly spitting in his hand as you can visibly see the traces of saliva leaving a wet residue in your chin, one Ben looks at it for a good amount of time: How is something like saliva is so damn erotic? He doesn’t know it, but it’s enough to send him into a spiral.

He’s strong you think, cause he’s a superhero. He’s Soldier Boy by any meaning, so it’s not a big effort to hold you in his arms and lift you in the air as you let out a gasp of surprise, spanking your ass as one of his hands separates your legs for him, holding one up as you stand in the other.

“Relax, 'got you, doll” he says, your back against the wall as he kept a bruising grip in your hip, holding you in place so you don’t have to keep your balance — “Fuck you smell so damn good.”

The roses and vanilla aroma lingers on your skin as you finally understand what he's doing now, his hand close to your cunt as he taunts you, torturing you like you did so eagerly before, his personal pet as his digits get lost in your entrance now, your folds spilled with juice he can physically feel in his fingertips, your arousal's so nice against the palm of his hand he cannot help but kiss you, a feverish desire taking over his actions, the lewd sound his fingers made when he finally pushes his digits inside of you, velvety walls welcoming him as they seemed to squeeze him already — He has made such a good job on turning you on, it’s impossible to not react when he’s finally touching you, pumping into you in a constant pace.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he says, the look on your face is enough to make his cock twitch in his pants in response, imagination running wild as he thinks about that very same feeling in a much deeper way, how you’d look now stretched out, crying just like you did when he choked you asking for information — “Such a nice cunt, so wet f’me.”

He's looking at you, holding the image in his mind forever: Pink pussy displayed for him, white t-shirt rising over your chest, lifting your leg over his arm as his muscles flexed by the force he's using to fuck you deliberately, your lips parted as you ask for more in between erratic moans as his fingers curved inside you so he can hit that nice place he can reach with no effort at all, that one spot thats makes you moan louder.

"Ah-fuck" you let out. Ben's all about touching you for what it seems an eternity, thumb grazing against your clit when he's plainly torturing you, testing how much patience you have left now that he has full control of you.

"Don't cum," he demands, your heartbeats are louder by the seconds as he lifts you slightly, lips attacking your neck before the words escape from his mouth "Need you to come undone in my cock first."

He's leaving marks, marks you don't remember how to hide but don't bother you at all, touching you as he pleases you, taking all the time in the world cause it seems like the night belongs to him — Getting started as you shake your head in an improvised yes.

Yes. The thought is pure electricity, the sudden need to please him as you shake your head once again.

“Please Ben,” you don’t recognize what you’ve become now. “Please let me cum in your cock.”

"Go on doll, put on a show f'me" the supe says with a grin you cannot resist. "Bend and show me that lovely ass."

It’s all it takes. His fingers are now away from you, but you’re now facing the wall as you obey, bending until your cheek is pressed against the concrete and you can hear how he’s now unzipping his pants, the green fabric of his suit now to the side.

You look at him from over your shoulder, bitting the your lower lip as you check him out, his slightly curved dick pointing upwards, precum already leaking out.

“Like what you’re seeing or what?”

“Yeah, but there’s no fucking way.”

You’re feeding on his ego now, but you can’t help it when his size is far from what you consider it’s common — “Common’ doll. You can hadle it.”

You gulp in response cause you know you’re more than eager to try, just the sight of his own hand holding his lenght as he strokes himself making you drool in response. Fuck. It transforms in a need now. When he positions himself beneath you and he’s spitting down to that very place where he’s pushing against your hole, saliva coating his cock before just letting the tip inside.

Lubricated, he pushes a bit more and it feels just damn right. Even when it begans to hurt as he’s thick enough to force himself inside you.

Benjamin knows you’re in pain so he waits a second before shoving his cock inside one more time. You need some time as he stretches you out, clenching your teeth while he works.

"You're doing it s'good" he praises, hand massaging your back as he prevents himself from fucking you at his liking, “Takin' me like a champ."

"God" you let out a sharp moan moments after, crying when you felt the pain more than anything else — "Can't-"

"No doll" he hums as he pulls slightly more. “You can do this” he forces himself in until he's finally balls deep inside your cunt, letting you adjust to his size as he can feel fucking everything. Your blood flow, your velvety walls that squeeze him unused to someone as big as he was, your face distorted in what seems an intense mix of pain and pure, devastating pleasure — "Atta girl."

Strikes like lighting.

Soldier Boy's bitting your shoulder-blade as he waits, waits for it to switch into pleasure, to become intoxicating to the point you cannot longer remember your own name.

"Please move," you ask sooner than he thinks, and when he moves, you can feel it in your belly, melting your fucking brain as he repeated the process again, burying his cock as deep as he could go without any previous warning — "Ah, just like that, please-"

"Do you like how my cock is stretching you out now?" Ben's voice is way deeper than what usually is as he laughs, grunting behind you as one of his hands reach a fistful of your hair, grabbing it with force to pull your head backwards "Good girl, keep huggin' my cock."

You're drunk on the feeling, on the vibrations his voice sends every time he's saying something dirty for you, when he laughs victim of the pleasure.

"Gonna' keep you as my personal slut," he thinks out loud, pushing you against the wall every time he fucks you, using his other hand to spread one of your ass cheeks to the side so he can hit it harder. "Use you as my fucking pet so I can cum on your pretty face whenever I want."

He's moaning, your body’s sweaty as he pulls your hair without caring, not concentrated on the pain it produces as his hips continue on collide against you.

"Would you like that, little Nightshade?" he asks then in a low voice, his thumb pressing against your asshole as he fucks you harder now that you're used to his size. "Could get used to this pretty cunt. Promise to keep my cock whore nice and full."

It doesn't take long. Soldier Boy's moans are now filling the room as his pace becomes faster, slurred words between his erratic breathing when the hand on your hair comes up to finally grab you by the neck, like he can read your mind cause it's exactly what you need to get there, to experience by first hand a set of crashing waves that were getting more and more intense on your stomach.

You're close to the edge. He can smell it in the air when the sound of your skin slapping against his is loud enough to be all you can hear, mixing with the lovely moans you produce when he’s pounding into you with no mercy, fingers pressing the side of your neck with enough force you’re running out of breathe.

It’s messy, violent and you love it, love how he’s ruining you all sudden, fucking you up from the inside, making your vision turning dizzy in response. You’re immersed in the haze he’s driven you into before admiting:

“God i’m so fucking close.”

“Cum on my cock,” it sounds like he’s begging you to do it, fingers finding their way to your swollen clit to move against the sensitive flesh “Come on doll, leave me full of you.”

He’s making you move now, hands now controlling your hips as you take him as his liking, mere seconds until you’re finally crumbling, violently shaking as you finally reach your peak. He keeps on fucking you through your high, long enough so he’s pulling out all of sudden, stroking his lenght over you as his cum finally lands on your back leaving you convered with his load.

Fucking hell.

When you’re coming down from your orgasm shame seems to hit you hard, however for Ben is not enough when he’s kneeling on the floor, eyes on the mess his cock made out of you.

“Wanna go again, little Nightshade?” he asks curiously, and the question makes you laugh in response, forgetting about formalities and the trouble it meant you were intimate with Soldier Boy out of all the supes in the world.

“Hm,” you seem to think about it for a second, his breathing close to your wet pussy as he’s still wearing his clothes in contrast of you being so exposed — “But you’re keeping the suit on.”

He don’t have any complains when he’s the one pressing his face against your wet folds.

Funny thing is now when you’re forced to join the Boys days after that very encounter — A bad joke when you’re now babysitting Soldier Boy himself.

“Been missing you s’much little Nightshade” he admits after a couple of minutes alone in the filthy motel “Thinking about how cute you are, how you felt taking my cock so nicely in your living room.”

“Fuck off, Ben.”

“We’ll be quick” he promises “That stupid assholes back there wont even notice.”

You seem to think about it for a second before lifting your middle finger in response — “I said fuck off, Ben.”

For now, it’s enough for him that you’re thinking about it.

my masterlist

[minswriting]

Our Little Secret - Aaron Hotchner x Reader

About: You had always been attracted to your new step father since the day your mom brought him home. He was an attractive older man. He treated your mother well, despite not being home enough. But that didn’t matter too much since your mother was rarely home either. You knew that you shouldn’t feel some sort of way about your step-father. But what happens when he comes home from a rough case and seems to want you too?

Warnings: Step-daughter/step-father dynamic, NSFW, MDNI, 18+ content, dom/sub dynamics, daddy kink, unprotected sex, rough sex, praise kink, dirty talk, hair pulling, etc.

Word Count: 3200

Note: This may suck a bit but i hope you all enjoy!

Your relationship with your mother wasn’t the greatest, truthfully. Your mother left your father when you were ten years old, leaving him alone to work full time and take care of his daughter. But when he passed away when you were fifteen, about eight years ago, due to cancer, your mother had taken you in because you had nowhere else to go. While she wasn’t abusive, the two of you fought quite often as you held a lot of resentment against her for leaving you and your father. And now, you were twenty-three, still living with your mother as you went through college because it was the easiest thing to do.

When you first laid eyes on Aaron Hotchner, it was a year after his wife had passed away. He had met your mother and the two had gotten engaged rather quickly, exclaiming that the two of them didn’t want to wait when they didn’t have to. They were both adults interested in one another. And Aaron was just glad that Jack had taken a liking to you almost immediately.

You had always been attracted to Aaron. He was an attractive man. He was a great father to Jack, looked amazing in a suit, he was kind and respectful. Not to mention the authoritative voice he took when he answered his work calls never failed to cause you to clench your thighs. It’s wrong of you to be attracted to your step-father. It’s taboo. And yet you couldn’t help it. You had spent many nights fingering yourself to the thought of your step-father fucking you so ridiculously good.

It was a Friday night. Jack was at a sleepover with one of his friends, your mom was on a work trip as she works as a traveling sales representative, and Aaron was on a case in New York, leaving you home alone for the night. You had just gotten out of the shower, dressed in a pair of shorts and t-shirt and went downstairs to do your college coursework on your laptop.

As you worked on an essay for your psychology class, you heard keys turning in the front door, signaling that someone was home. You looked up from your computer as you were sitting on the couch to see Aaron walking in looking exhausted and stressed. “Hey,” you greeted softly.

Aaron looked over at the couch, giving you a small smile. “Hey,” he greeted back, placing his bag down before walking over to the couch and sitting down next to you. “How’s everything going?” he asked, getting himself comfortable. His legs were spread, his knee touching yours unintentionally. But you made no effort to move away.

“Everything is good,” You replied, closing your laptop and placing it onto the coffee table. “Jack is at Pete’s house for the night. His mom will be taking him home in the morning. Mom’s still on her work trip for another week. And I was just working on an essay.” You took a deep breath, looking at Aaron. “How was the case?”

Aaron sighed, running a hand over his face. “It was certainly…something,” he said exhaustedly. “It was truthfully a rough one. It involves kids and those are always so hard.” You nodded in understanding, not really sure of what else to say. “How come you’re not out on a Friday night?” Aaron asked, looking at you with a curious look.

“Didn’t really feel like it,” you replied, shrugging your shoulders. “My boyfriend asked me to go out but…I just didn’t feel like seeing him tonight.”

“Did something happen?” Aaron asked.

“Just a dumb argument a few days ago,” you said, rolling your eyes. “Nothing important.”

Aaron hummed in acknowledgement. “Do you even love him?” he asked.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion about the question. “What?” you asked, looking at your step father.

Aaron looked at you expectedly. “Do you even love him?” he asked again. “You are in this relationship and yet your body language shows that you’re not that interested in him.”

“Is that really any of your business?” you asked defensively.

“It is when your attention seems to be on me,” Aaron replied smoothly. He adjusted himself so that he was closer to you ever so slightly. His arm was draped on the top of the couch.

Your cheeks became hot as you looked at your step-father, unsure of what to say or what to do. “I-I have no idea what you mean,” you exclaimed, very clearly a lie though you didn’t want to admit that.

“Oh but I think I do,” Aaron said, quirking his lip. “I see the way you look at me, y/n. With those beautiful eyes, you look at me with longing, desire, and admiration. As though I am the thing you need and want most.” Aaron’s tone was soft but knowing. He was a profiler. He could likely tell you things about yourself that even you didn’t know.

“What about it?” You whispered, your attention focused on him completely. Your heart raced with anxiety. You weren’t quite sure what to do. Aaron’s words were true. You had desired him since the day you laid eyes on him. But it wasn’t right. It was taboo. Which is why you never thought that Aaron would ever feel the same or even acknowledge your thoughts.

Aaron’s arm moved to your shoulders, bringing you closer to him. His other hand went to your chin, tilting your head to look at him. “I look at you the same way,” he murmured, his hot breath fanning your cheek.

Hearing these words made your heart flutter and heat pool near your thighs. Your mother and step-fathers relationship had been a bit strained from the beginning. They sort of rushed into it, only caring about the fact that they didn’t need to worry about one another too much since neither one of them were home that much. The rare times they were both home, they acted like a perfect couple for a few days until reality settles in and they’re stuck with one another. But you never thought that Aaron would ever feel a type of way about you.

Without any other words spoken, Aaron softly placed his lips onto yours. It took you a moment to process what was truly happening. Your step-dad was kissing you. Something you’ve longed for quite a while was finally happening. And after a few moments of shock, you kissed Aaron back. For what started off as soft and innocent quickly turned hot and heated as Aaron’s hand began to roam your body. You found yourself moving onto his lap, sitting on top of him as you cupped his face. One of his hands landed on your hip while the other entangled in your hair.

You felt heat going straight to your core, dampening your panties. You couldn’t help but crave friction. While kissing Aaron, you tentatively moved your hips against his, grinding your cunt onto his clothed bulge. The both of you let out soft moans of pleasure, Aaron’s fingers digging into your hip. He pulled away from the kiss to look up at you, placing his other hand on your other hip. “Can you feel just how much I want you?” he asked in that same soft tone as before as he grinded you on his cock again.

You let out a soft moan, nodding your head. “Yes,” you replied. “Take me to bed?” you asked, biting your lip.

“Of course, princess,” Aaron replied. He moved you off of him to stand up before picking you up bridal style and carrying you up the stairs. You held on by wrapping your arms around his neck. He brought you to his bedroom, the one he shared with your mother, placing you on the edge of his side of the bed. He leaned down, still standing as you were sitting, and placed his lips on yours once more.

One of his hands roamed your body, landing on your right boob as he massaged the skin through your shirt. You gasped into the kiss, the sensation sending sparkes to your cunt. Aaron pulled away from the kiss, moving to grab the hem of your shirt before pulling it off of you, revealing your flesh to him. You hadn’t worn a bra after getting out of the shower as you didn’t expect anyone to be home tonight.

“You’re so beautiful,” Aaron said, moving a piece of your hair out of your face before leaning back down to kiss you. His hand massaged your skin, rolling your nipple around with his thumb. You let out a moan into Aaron’s mouth, unable to help yourself from making the noise.

After a few minutes of massaging both of your breasts, Aaron’s fingers trailed lower, reaching the waistline of your shorts. He pulled away from the kiss, looking at you with a serious face. “If you want me to stop, now would be the time to do so,” He exclaimed.

“Please don’t stop,” you responded, looking up at Aaron with a lustful gaze. “I-I need you so bad,” you admitted, blushing in slight embarrassment.

“Good girl,” Aaron replied, moving his fingers underneath the waistband of your shorts and panties. His praise caused you to let out a whimper. “You like being called that, don’t you?”

You nodded your head in response.

Aaron simply hummed in acknowledgement, running a finger down your slit to feel your wetness. “God, you’re soaked,” he whispered in awe. “All for me, princess?”

“Yes, daddy,” you whispered back, the name just falling out of your mouth without any thought.

You hadn't even realized you said it until Aaron let out a groan. “Fuck,” he said, closing his eyes for a moment. Those two words sent a jolt of heat straight to his cock as he processed what you had said. “I’ll give you anything you want, darling. You’re being such a good girl for me.” And with that, he began to rub your clit.

You let out a low moan, your eyes fluttering shut as you did so. Aaron moved himself so that he was sat behind you, his hand still on your clit while your back was pressed against his chest. He wrapped his other arm around you, leaning in to kiss your neck. His finger went from your clit to your hole, spreading your wetness around before easing a finger inside of you. You whined at the feeling, letting out a soft “daddy,” in pleasure.

“I’ve got you, baby,” he said into your skin. He began moving his finger slowly inside of you, teasing your pussy. Your soft moans were like music to Aaron’s ears as he played with your cunt. He eventually added a second finger, stretching you out slightly as he quickened his pace. He hooked his fingers, hitting your g-spot and causing you to jolt and arch your back.

“O-oh fuck,” you moaned, placing a hand on Aaron’s thigh. “Oh my god.”

If you had asked yourself earlier in the day if your step-father would be finger fucking you right now, you likely would’ve laughed. But here you are, getting finger fucked by the man you’ve only thought about, never thinking it would actually happen. The room was filled with the sounds of your wet cunt as Aaron sped up his fingers. You were writhing in his arms, your head rested on his shoulder.

“You’re so wet for me,” he murmured into your ear, his hot breath on your skin. “I’ve dreamt about doing this,” he began to speak. “Every time I come home from a case and you’re just sitting there in your pajamas, focused on your coursework, looking so beautiful.” Aaron’s other hand moved to your left boob, massaging the skin. “When you’d stretch and let out a small moan, it never failed to make me want to bend you over and take you right then and there.”

You whined in response, his words, the added pleasure, the repeated movements of his fingers inside of you, it was all so much. You felt that familiar heat building in your abdomen as your orgasm slowly approached. “Don’t even get me started on that vacation we took a few months ago,” Aaron continued. “That skimpy bathing suit that barely hid anything when we went to the beach,” His voice was very attractive and soft as he spoke. “Couldn’t help but touch myself that night in the shower to the thought of you while your mother was just in the other room.”

“Daddy,” you moaned, your breathing becoming heavy and shaky. “I’m so close.”

“Come for me, baby,” Aaron replied, moving his digits inside of you faster. “You’re doing so good.”

Your walls clenched around Aaron’s fingers as your orgasm came over you. Your thighs clamped together as you arched your back against Aaron, whining and moaning as you came. Aaron fingered you through your orgasm, coaxing you through it. And when you finally came down from your high, Aaron gave you soft kisses along your skin, calming you down.

“Daddy,” you sighed, leaning into his touch. “Need your cock,” you turned your head to look at Aaron, leaning your head on his shoulder.

“And you’ll get it, baby,” Aaron hummed, turning his face to kiss you on the lips. He let go of you, standing up from his spot behind you. “Take your shorts off for me.” He said as he began unbuttoning his shirt. You obliged, pulling down your shorts and tossing them to the side, leaving you fully nude. You bit your lip, looking up at Aaron with doe eyes.

Aaron tossed his shirt to the side before moving to unbuckle his pants. He tossed his belt to the side, unzipping his pants and pulling them down along with his boxer briefs. You let out a small whimper as Aaron’s cock sprang out. He was about seven inches but he was quite girthy, definitely bigger than your previous partners. “You’re so big,” you whispered, looking at his cock.

Your words caused Aaron to chuckle. “Am I?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow in amusement. “Glad you think so, princess.” He walked back over to the bed as he kicked his pants away. “Lay on your side for me.”

You nodded your head, laying down on your side, your head on the pillows. Aaron moved your leg, holding it up slightly as he kneeled on the mattress, straddling your other leg. He rested your leg on his thigh, grabbing his cock and guiding it to your pussy. He brought the tip to your clit before moving it down, spreading your wetness onto his cock. You let out a shaky breath, gripping the sheets. His cock moved to your hole, slowly probing at your entrance. You moaned at the intrusion, feeling the stretch in your cunt. Aaron hissed in pleasure as your walls enclosed around his member.

Tears formed in your eyes at the sting. Aaron leaned down to kiss your temple, whispering sweet nothings in your ear to relax you. When Aaron bottomed out, he stayed there for a moment, letting you adjust to his size. After a few minutes, the pain subsided. “Y-you can move,” you said.

Aaron began to slowly thrust, moving his hips out before moving back inside of you. The both of you let out moans as he settled into a slow rhythm. “You’re so fucking tight, princess,” Aaron groaned.

“So big, daddy,” you whined, burying your head into the pillow. Aaron’s cock filled you up so good, hitting in spots you had never felt before. “Never been so full.”

Aaron moaned softly, leaning down to capture your lips with his as he thrusted his hips. His cock grazed your g-spot, going deeper inside of you, causing you to let out a choked moan. “O-oh fuck,” you moaned against Aaron’s lips. “F-faster, please.”

And he obliged. He moved his hips at a faster pace, putting a hand in your hair and tugging at the strands. You started to moan louder, your eyes fluttering shut as Aaron’s cock plunged in and out of you. “You’re so perfect,” Aaron exclaimed, breathing heavily. “Being such a good girl for me.” Aaron started thrusting into you harshly, causing your walls to clench around his cock. “Mine,” he said, leaning down to nip at your neck.

“All yours, daddy,” you whined. “Always yours.” The moans leaving your mouth were whorish as his cock hit your sweet spot repeatedly, making you see stars. You turned your head to bury it in the pillows.

That was until Aaron gripped your hair, yanking your head back a bit. “Look at me while I fuck you,” he said, his voice rough and filled with desire. You obeyed, turning your head to look up at Aaron with your beautiful eyes. His brown orbs were on you as he fucked you, his pace almost brutual.

The sensation of his cock pounding into you made tears of pleasure well up in your eyes, making you let out a sob. “Daddy,” you sobbed in pleasure. “it’s too much, too much.” you babbled.

Aaron cooed, running a soothing hand through your hair. “You can take it,” he replied, not relenting up. “Be a good girl and take it.” Aaron groaned.

The repeated assault onto your g-spot made your abdomen tighten as you felt your orgasm approaching. “So close,” you whimpered.

“Me too, baby, me too.”

And with just a few thrusts, you were clenching around Aaron’s cock, cumming for the second time that night. Aaron hissed in pleasure, letting out a moan as he followed suit, cumming inside of your cunt. You babbled as you came, letting out a mantra of “oh my gods” and “daddy” as Aaron moaned out sweet nothings.

When you both finished, the both of you were breathing heavily, Aaron still inside of you. He kissed your cheek. “You did so good,” he murmured.

As you came down from your high, Aaron pulled out, laying down next to you. He wrapped an arm around you, putting his other arm underneath your head and pulling you close to him. You turned towards him, laying your head on his chest. The both of you were silent, not saying a word as you processed what had happened. Your step father just fucked you into oblivion.

So what happens now?

“What does this mean for us?” You murmured softly, glancing up at Aaron’s face.

Aaron gave you a small smile, moving a piece of hair out of your face. “Well, we can continue as we were and pretend as though this didn’t happen,” he murmured back. “Or we can keep this a secret and explore what this is.”

“Our little secret?” You asked.

“Our little secret, princess.”

And so, that’s what it was. Your own little secret with your step-father. And thus your intimate relationship began.

[cosyvelvetorchid]

buck/tommy: single dad tommy looses his son who wanders off after a fire engine. firefigher buck to the rescue

This was such a freaking adorable prompt! Thank you!

As always you can send me bucktommy, saltommy, or Tommy prompts to my ask. Fluff or smut or both. 🩶

*****

"Lucas can you please put your shoes on?" Tommy called out from the kitchen. He could still hear the cartoon blaring from the living room. More than once he'd imagined what harm he'd like to cause the person who invented Bluey. He finished packing their lunches, shoving them into his bag, and grabbed his phone and car keys before walking into the living room and turning off the TV. Lucas whined.

"You have 5 seconds to put your shoes on or you won't be riding the engine." He told him sternly. "5..4.." The 4 year old knew daddy meant business and quickly ran to the door and put on his shoes. "Good boy." Tommy smiled and lead him out to the car.

He was taking him to the annual community fire safety event they held down town. There were lots of exciting things for kids to do - rides, entertainers, and of course a chance to sit in a real engine! Usually Tommy would be working it but this year he had actually managed to get the day off to take his son.

Lucas had been buzzing with excitement about it since Tommy had first told him about it last week. He was counting down the sleeps like he did at Christmas. It had been the first thing he'd gotten excited about since his mom had died the previous year.

He was only 3 when she died and he didn't really understand what death meant, just that mommy was in heaven with the angels. But he certainly felt the loss of his mother. His personality was diluted. Tommy had taken him to a therapist specialising in grief therapy for children, and slowly but surely he began coming out of his shell more.

Evangelina and Tommy had been best friends since they were teenagers. The type of friendship where even when they lost contact for months or even years because of all the things they each had going on in their lives, when they reconnected it felt like no time had gone by.

5 years ago she had asked Tommy to help her get pregnant. She was desperate to be a mother but she was single and time was running out. They had many, many conversations about how it would work, how they would co-parent.. if Tommy even wanted to. They decided that if she were to get pregnant, when the kid was older they'd tell them about how they came to be, but until that point he would be Uncle Tommy.

As it happened, one trip the the fertility clinic, 1 donation and 1 insemination and Evangelina had a bun in the oven. The first few months of her pregnancy went like clockwork. Until the 2nd trimester when she found a lump in her breast. Cancer. Stage 3. She was given 2 options. Terminate the pregnancy and begin treatment, or delay treatment until the baby was born, which would risk the cancer spreading. She chose the latter. After many arguments with Tommy about it, he finally accepted that this was what she wanted.

Watching his son being born was the most beautiful thing Tommy had ever witnessed. He didn't think a human heart had the capacity for that much love. Sadly, within days of Lucas' birth they received the devastating news that Evangelinas cancer had spread to her lymph nodes and other organs. It was terminal. She fought like hell to live, but a month after Lucas' 3rd birthday she passed away.

"Come on, little man. Let's go see some fire trucks!" Tommy let him out of the car, taking his hand.

"Daddy look!" He pointed to a a giant Bluey mascot dressed in turn out gear. Tommy cursed under his breath. He couldn't get away from that little blue shit. "Can we go see him?" Lucas asked.

"Of course, buddy." He said with a smile leading him over. As much as Tommy couldn't stand that damn dog, the smile on his sons face was worth it. After that they rode the teacups, Lucas met some real life firefighters (that weren't his dad), he got to sit in an ambulance and blare the sirens, and he got given so many free stickers Tommy was already imagining having to remove them from the furniture at home.

There was one more thing to do and that was to sit in an engine. Except, what Lucas didn't know was that Tommy had organised with Capt Nash of the 118 a surprise ride in the truck. But first lunch needed to be eaten. A hangry 4 year old was not what anybody needed to deal with on a Sunday afternoon.

They found a picnic table and Tommy handed Lucas his sandwiches and chips. But in the rush trying to Lucas out of the door he'd forgotten the drinks.

"Shi-shoot!" He corrected himself. Trying to police his swearing wasn't easy now that Lucas was of an age where he repeated everything he heard. Thankfully there was a booth in the picnic area that served drinks.

"Lucas, I'm going to get us something to drink. I need you to stay right here, okay? I'll just be over there-" He pointed to the booth no more than 7 or 8 meters away "-you can see me the whole time."

"Okay." Lucas sang.

"You stay here, okay? You must not get off this bench. Do you understand?"

"Yep." He replied, peanut butter and jam smeared all around his mouth. Tommy walked to the booth, looking back every few seconds to make sure Lucas was where he should be. The lady in front of him in the line dropped her purse, spilling it everywhere. It only took Tommy 10 seconds to help her pick everything up but by the time he stood back up and looked to Lucas he was gone.

His heart immediately thunder against his chest.

"Lucas?!" He called out running over to the table. "Lucas!" He looked around. He was nowhere to be seen. Panic began to set in. He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself. This had happened before in a grocery store a few months before and after Tommy spent 15 minutes freaking out, multiple calls over the annoy and a call to the police, Lucas was found at the other end of the store watching Bluey on one of the TVs.

There were tonnes of things at this event that a child would gravitate towards. He probably made a beeline for the Bluey mascot or an engine. No, Tommy wasn't going to freak out yet. He'd look for a few minutes first then get security.

***

"Buck have you given away ALL the candy?" Eddie asked.

"What? They're all just so adorable I couldn't say no!" Buck tried defending himself.

"You're such a push over." Eddie told him. "I'm gonna go get a coffee. I'll be back in 5." Buck waved him away as he bent down to the 4 year old standing in front of him.

"Hi" He said with a big smile. "Whats you're name?"

"Umm.. I'm not s'posed to say. You're a..a stranger."

"Thats good thinking. You're absolutely right." Buck looked around but there were no other adults in the vicinity that looked like they could be this kids parents. "Hey Buddy, are you parents here?"

"My daddy brought me to see the firetrucks." The kid told him.

"Well that's a cool dad you have, huh? Hey do you known where he is? Can you see him?" The boy looked around and lifted his hands up in an exaggerated shrug.

"Okay. Well you see this?" He pointed to the radio on his chest. "This is my very special radio. I can talk to some very cool people and maybe they can find your dad. How does that sound?"

"Okay." The boy said.

"Do you think it would be okay if you told me your name? That way I can tell my friend on the radio and it will help us find your dad." Buck asked. The boy thought about it for a second.

"My name is Lucas."

"It's nice to meet you Lucas. My name is Buck. You wanna sit in the truck while I radio my friend?"

"Yeah!" He said excitedly. Buck opened the door and lifted him up onto the seat, before getting on the radio. "Hey Cap?"

"Captain Nash here. What is is Buck?"

"I gotta kid here that seems to be lost."

"Im with Sergeant Grant now. Can you describe the kid?"

"How old are you buddy?" He asked Lucas.

"Im 4"

"He says he's 4 years old, names Lucas. Dark curly hair, wearing blue jeans and a black tshirt with a helicopter on it." He spoke into the radio.

"This is sergeant Grant. We have the father here. Where is the boy now?"

"I've got him in the engine."

"Keep him there, we're on the way."

"Good news, your dad's on the way." He told Lucas.

"My daddy is a fireman too." He said

"He is?"

"Yeah. He.. he flies helicopters too!" He said pointing to the picture on his shirt.

"Wow that is very cool!" Buck said. "You wanna put the lights and sirens on?"

"Yeah!"

"First things first, before we go to an emergency we have to be safe. So.." he grabbed a helmet from the back and gently placed in on Lucas' head. "There we go, now you're ready. See that button right there? Press it." Lucas leaned forward and pressed it and the sirens rang out.

"Woah!" Lucas cried out with a big smile. Buck smiled back, his heart melting at how adorable this kid was.

"Daddy!" He shouted pointing through the windscreen. Cap and Athena walked towards the engine with an unfamiliar man. Something shifted in Bucks stomach at the sight of him. He was tall, with a large muscular frame. A piece of his dark curly hair had fallen onto his face. Buck suddenly felt nervous. Buck switched off the siren.

"Lucas?" The man called as they reached the engine.

"Daddy! I got to put on the siren!" He said as Buck removed the helmet from him and lifted him down. The man bent down to his eyeline.

"Lucas, how many times have I told you, you cannot wall off like that? It really scares daddy when you do that." His voice was soft but strained. He hugged the boy tightly. Bucks chest tightened at the image in front of him of a scared father.

"Im sorry daddy."

"It's okay buddy." He kissed the top of his head and stood up. His eyes met Bucks and he caught a breath. The man in front of him was gorgeous. As tall as him with a slightly smaller build but long legs. He had an adorable pink birthmark by his left eyebrow underneath a head of gentle dirty blonde curls.

"Were you the one who found my kid?" He asked.

"Uh, yeah. Bu.. Evan. Evan Buckley."

Evan. Tommy couldn't help notice the similarity. Evangelina was all about signs from the universe, which He'd always waved away as hocum. But now..

"Tommy Kinard." He responded, somehow feeling nervous all of a sudden. "Thank you. For finding him." He smiled. Something about those smile lines around his eyes made Bucks heart beat a little faster.

"He actually found me if I'm honest." He laughed. Tommy looked at his son.

"I need to put bells on this kid I swear." He said. Buck smiled and Tommys mouth went dry.

"Hey Tommy, you still want that surpise thing?" Bobby asked walking over.

"So long as my kid stays in the damn truck, sure."

"What surpise?" Buck asked confused.

"Well-" Tommy said lifting Lucas up into his arms "-how would you like to go on a real life ride on an engine?" He asked Lucas.

"Can I daddy?" Lucas asked practically vibrating.

"I don't know. What do you think Captain Nash?" Tommy turned them to face him.

"I think that would be okay." He smiled.

"Well let's go then!" Tommy said to Lucas putting him the back of the engine.

"Buck, Eddie is dealing with a broken ankle by the teacups, so I need you to jump in." Bobby told him.

"Got it Cap." He jumped in the back as cap got in the drivers seat. Tommy buckled Lucas in, they he snd Buck sat either side of him. They caught eachothers gaze and held it for a few moments. Something sparked in both of their chests.

"You ready, kid?" Bobby called from the front.

"Yeah!"

"Here we go!" Bobby put the sirens on and turned on the engine.

[cl0wncakez]

breast cancer show ever is my favorite south park episode. i think that the whole plot line that sets up the fight scene in last few minutes of the episode makes it even more satisfying to watch cartman get the snot beaten out of him in the end.

cause first off, before this episode aired, there wasn’t really any point in the show where cartman truly got what he deserved. yeah some bad things had happened to him before, but he’s never truly gotten any form of karma for his actions.

so when wendy says that she’s gonna fight him. he doesn’t take it all that seriously, just he expects to either easily win the fight or for wendy to back out before the end of the school day.

and then at lunch he realizes that if he loses the fight, everyone will think he’s a massive loser. what makes this even funnier is that cartman genuinely believes that he’s “the cool kid” and that everyone likes him. so his fear of losing a fight to a girl (which is a big deal for fourth graders) makes him desperate to prevent it from happening, without apologizing in front of everyone of course.

so now cartman does literally everything in his power to stop the fight before the school day ends.

he tries to apologize to wendy in private, without confessing that he was wrong in front of everyone.

he tries bribing her with money, and even goes as far as to eat his own underwear.

and near the end of the school day, he’s so desperate to get out of the fight that he goes up to his teachers desk and takes a dump on it in front of the whole class so he would get a detention. and then the fight was moved to the next morning. he wasn’t out of the fight yet he had time to find another strategy to stop wendy from beating the shit out of him.

cartman then goes full tattletale mode and tells his mom a sob story of how wendy is bullying him at school, and how we just wants to be her friend. he even takes the extra mile to put a fancy cardigan on and comb his hair over to make himself look even more sad and pathetic.

so obviously wendys parents are like “hey don’t fight this kid” and she finally gives up.

now, if cartman had just stopped there, he probably would’ve gotten away with his actions like he normally has up to this point in the show. but this is eric cartman, so he obviously has to take the extra mile in terrorizing her at school. he makes his school research paper about making fun of breast cancer, just to further show to wendy that there’s nothing she can do anymore since her parents have prevented her from fighting.

then wendy gets called down to the principals office, and principal victoria is like “hey are you gonna beat up cartman” and wendy says no. then victoria is like “mmmm, are you sure about that?”

AND THEN SHE BASICALLY GIVES WENDY PERMISSION TO FUCKING DESTROY CARTMAN IN THE SCHOOL PLAYGROUND. she calls him a “fat little lump of cancer” that needs to be “fought.” i find this scene so funny cause it just shows that literally everyone, including the adults and school faculty wants to see cartman get some form of karma.

and then the actual fight scene itself is one of the best moments in the entire show. here’s a list of things that i love about it.

wendy pulls up to the playground with a bunch of students following her. some of the kids are from different grade levels, which shows that literally everyone wants to see cartman get beaten up.

and wendy also puts her hair up in a bun and takes off her coat so we can see her my little pony tank top, so you know that she means BUSINESS.

the face that cartman makes when he realizes that he can no longer manipulate or gaslight his way out of the fight without backing out in front of the entire school, which he can’t do since he believes that he’s the “cool kid.”

cartman having to pull up his pants after the first punch that wendy threw made him fall over.

and lastly, how butters gets so excited to see them fight. he’s been egging them both on throughout the entire episode, and he gets so happy when wendy finally shows up at the playground.

also, when he yells “FUCK HIM UP WENDY!” was so funny

anyways 10/10 episode it’s so funny

[calypso-finale]

Seventy Six.

I really think I tire Aziel out; he always falls asleep with me. I am enjoying myself here to be honest, but I need to not get so used to it because at some point I do need to go back home. Looking at the TV and then back to Aziel he is knocked out asleep on me, he going to be having a good nap, maybe I can nap too really, or maybe not. Looking at my phone, Imani is calling me. I have noticed that none of my kids have actually called me or contacted me about anything, I feel like they have been told not too but she is calling me “hello baby” I said “dad” she laughed “you forgot about your manager?” I asked, acting a little hurt “I am in Barbados” letting out an oh “that was on the low, low wasn’t it” I didn’t know they was there “we have been here for a week now, we know about Oakley” I assumed so “your mom has to take you to Barbados to tell you or is she self-loathing because I won’t help her come here when she can’t” I questioned “erm” Imani just said “maybe both but I feel bad because I did say things to her, I have been thinking about it every day” nodding my head “Imani listen to me, Rylee has a lot on so whatever you said she may have forgotten about it for now, I can promise you she isn’t upset about that, she is just doing her thing meaning the whole situation, I am just helping her really but don’t like be upset about it, I am sure he will be fine” I am just talking, I know she was upset about it “I feel so bad about Oakley dad, I really do. We all do” Oakley made his way into the room; they are back from the hospital “you don’t want to go upstairs?” Rylee asked him, looking over at them “no, I want to be here” they look like they had a disagreement “ok, erm Wadz. I need you, follow me” Wadz has become an assistant to my daughter “Rylee doesn’t look like Rylee, she has changed” I huffed out “I know but what do you want me to say? I am telling you kids now, no” they want to come, they can’t come “what will happen if we do, or I do?” she asked “cause stress for everyone, and nobody want that Imani, please listen to me. I will see you soon, I love you” she put the phone down “women are so temperamental” I groaned out, looking at Oakley and he is just staring off, was it bad news, I am scared to say.

I don’t want to break his thoughts, but he is so quiet, and I just want to know if he wants to talk or be left alone “how did the hospital go?” I asked him, he looked over at me “it was erm good and bad, they said that the scarring won’t be bad at all, erm but I have to do radiotherapy for the whatever word he used under my arm, on this side here. So I have to go through that, he said that I have go through the five year plan, I asked what happens if like at that point and we are at the end of the plan and it’s just not going, he said then it’s spreading but we need to battle that, this is why we will see you, keep on top of it but potentially if it gets aggressive then we take it as it comes really, so yeah. For five years I have to deal with that” I understand why he came back in his own world, I don’t blame him at all for feeling this way “I have a tour to happen, I have people relying on me. I want to go on the tour, I mean” he laughed “people think I already have cancer anyways, what difference does it make, I rather do that. I only want people to know is when I am dead anyways. I am doing that video thing with Wadz, if I die then yeah, if I make it then I will say it but I want to go back to my life, I rather be on stage. I fought for that for years, I wanted to be that rapper and I made it. and it took me years. The eighteen year old me wouldn’t quit and I won’t let this take over me” he is so teary eyed “I get it, I am not disagreeing with you bro, go for it” he clenched his jaw putting his head down “I can rest when I am dead, they give me a five year plan then I need to have my own” I feel so sad for him “the treatment can take it out of you” I said to him “I will push through” I get why Rylee argues with him now, but it’s his thing and he wants to do it.

Rubbing my chin “you probably think I am doing bad but Chris, what do I do? Sit here and just think about it, waste years of my life and then be like well I am dying now. I want to do it, I told Ybeez and he said fine and that is why me and Rylee argued in the car, she doesn’t agree with it but then what does she want me to do? Be here and cry, you tell me what would you do?” he asked me “I would bow out with a bang, if that was to happen. You could beat this, and all is well too so we can’t be negative, it’s stage two. The treatment is to remove the cells and potentially you will be ok, I think the only part is how you will be, and it will take it out of you” he nodded his head “of course but show must go on” I can’t disagree with him because he is right, he can’t just bow out being in the house and just doing nothing and then also he could beat it, I feel he will beat it. He is a strong guy, but he has to plan “ok, hear me out. Rylee and Robyn can be alike, they are a pain. Robyn would do the same, she would cry and plead with me about it. You keep denying her of things, it won’t work. She wants to do whatever for your birthday, and I know you don’t want to celebrate it, but she does and how do you think she feels when you keep saying no. Give and take, you both need to work together in this. Allow her to spoil you, make her happy. I would do the same with Robyn, trust me” Oakley clenched his jaw “you think?” nodding my head “what is bad about it? You both have fun? Make memories” he nodded his head “let her be happy, and let her do something” he nodded his head “I agree” I chuckled “I am glad you do bro, you’re only thirty once bro too” he laughed “yeah I get it, I just didn’t feel like it but if I am wanting to tour then I can do that, yeah I get it” I am glad he does “just she worries too much, I get it’s hard but we clash over things and we don’t need too. Like I said to her you know, let’s have another but she doesn’t want to know, but if like this five year plan is it, and I still die after that, I can at least you know be there for a while. And even if I don’t who cares, I get to see them grow, she doesn’t agree” he is irritated that she doesn’t “maybe also the fact she had a bad birth too, it’s something you both need to speak on, but I feel like you know, you both will end up having it, I feel it” I laughed “she’s hard, and she calls me hard” he shook his head, she is stressing him out.

“I don’t know where she has taken Wadz, he has become her assistant, you see how he was helping her clean” I chuckled “yeah, I saw it” Oakley laughed “erm yeah” rubbing the side of my face “how would you feel if I uhm, if I asked you to marry your daughter?” I froze staring at him, he put his head down “I am asking you” he added, he has taken me off guard “erm, damn. Really?” I chuckled “erm” he looked up at me “not for anything, just that. If I die, I say if because I don’t know really it’s up in the air. If I die then I can die knowing that I wasn’t my mom and dad really, and also that I do love Rylee and she deserves to be someone’s wife but then would I want her to be a widow” he put his head down, he wiped his face “ I am just thinking, like nothing is set but I am asking you” he made a good point there “which father would want their daughter to be a potential widow, and at her age really” I have been so quiet, so much is going through my mind “you know what Oakley, I am scared that my daughter will end up being just that for the rest of her life, widow” Oakley just froze staring at me “she is a hard girl, did I think she would fall in love, no I didn’t. I see her, and she is so far deep into it that even like with myself, I couldn’t see myself with anyone but Robyn, and I couldn’t be with anyone but for some reason, I feel my daughter is going to just be a mother, and I am scared I am going to lose her. Watching her, she really loves you and she is loving deep, I would be more than happy to let you marry her. She deserves to be someone’s wife, so you got my blessing” he smiled at me “but I do have my own worries about my daughter” I added “would I need to ask Rihanna?” he asked “does her opinion matter to you? Meaning if she said no would that affect you?” he shook his head “I would just do it Oakley” he nodded his head “cool, I mean like I am not doing it but it’s there like in my plan” I chuckled, if I was him I wouldn’t ask her she would refuse him and be nasty so there is that, he can be happy and just get on with it peacefully.

Picking the apple from Aziel plate “thank you” I said to him “you want an apple cutting? You know he don’t play with his apples” Aziel mean mugged up “what’s up? You want to fight” he then smiled at me “that is right, how you feel after the hospital visit? I got Oakley side, what about you?” she sat atop of the counter “honestly I can say that we can only be stable and be happy once the five year plan has come to term but the doctor is optimistic, but Oakley is touchy with everything, he said surgery was good but then the therapy which he said words, I just shut off and then he just talks about things like going on tour? How the hell is he going to do that” licking my lips “Rylee, my best advice I can give you is let him do it, you be there for him. He wants to do what makes him happy and he said that he waited so long for that moment where he made it, he wants to do it, let him” Rylee sighed out “but dad, he is going to be weak” I shrugged “support him” she huffed out “what concerns me, if. I am saying if anything happens to him, and Rylee you are a young girl. Aziel will grow up and he will eventually like you kids move on and do other things and even then Rylee you will be still young, what are you going to do?” Rylee shrugged “nothing, there really isn’t any other man I can think of that would attract me to them, and honestly just live my life for my son. I love once, and that is it. I don’t care” I nodded my head “I will always be here for you, just push me in the wheelchair” Rylee snorted laughing “I will dad, and still complain about things” smiling at her, I love this girl a lot “would you consider your siblings to come and see you?” Rylee squinted her eyes, she didn’t say anything but just look “they can, just tell me when and I can tell Oakley to go to Wadz. They aren’t seeing him, I don’t want them to pity him, ok” nodding my head slowly “what if your mom comes?” she pulled a face “erm, she can again. But they aren’t seeing him, and that is it dad” she didn’t say they can’t see her “ok” I mean that isn’t a bad thing I guess “and they can not speak on him too, if they come then they come to see Aziel and that is it, I don’t think they deserve to see him, and also tell them we will be away so ask” that was me told.

Wadz is here to pick me up “where are you going again? We need to go tonight, I got a jet because of you” I pulled a face “you shouldn’t have really, we could have gone like business class or something” Rylee shushed me “please, it’s your birthday week, we going to turn up. You said to me that I could, and we can do whatever we want so we are going to go Vegas, then we going to Atlanta, then Houston and then Mykonos. We going to turn up, make memories have fun, don’t think of anything” I am speechless really “what we doing in Atlanta though” I questioned “strip clubs and dollar bills, but if you are in pain and not well then we can slow it down” shaking my head “I am not going to let it stop me, but I am just going to see a few friends. I will be back, it’s early anyways. Aziel I am out now” Aziel frowned at me “I go?” he said “nah you stay home today, you been going out too much with your papa, so you stay here, love you” he blew me a kiss, winking at him as I walked off “oh yeah” jogging back over to Rylee and pressing a kiss to her lips “mhmm see you soon” walking off outside, Wadz waved at me. He is always there for me, even became my chauffeur to drive me around “what’s up?” getting into the car “what’s up with you” he laughed “you’re smiling a little too much, thinking about those strippers” Wadz side eyed me “can’t lie though I was shocked when you said about meeting your mom” nodding my head “she text me, I didn’t tell Lee. She would disagree and all that so see what happens. Nothing else in life can hurt me, I got cancer” I laughed “shit, it’s nothing you know” I shrugged “I hate when you say that” if I don’t laugh about it I will cry, I got to laugh about it.

Resting my head back ���nearly there” I said, the coffee place is here I know “the hippie place is close” Wadz laughed “man” I breathed out “what do you think if I was to marry Lee” I mumbled “is that your Vegas reasoning?” looking over at Wadz “nah, but it’s funny though. Just like they talk about a five year plan, and I have my own. Like by the time it’s up, I want to have another child, another album, get another tour, and be married to whatever I may have left. I don’t want them to look at me like it’s done, you wasted time. But then like her dad is concerned that she will forever remain a widow, and that made me feel shit” I don’t like that shit really “damn, that is bleak. How would you feel if she did find another? Would you haunt her” I sniggered “you know what Wadz, you know when you love. I sound like these people that know shit about love, I am a simp. Now I am but like when you love that person, if she got another it would make me happy, she had a partner to keep her company. I wouldn’t be mad with that you know” Wadz is shocked “damn, you changed” I sniggered “but I am happy for you, I want you to marry her” that is nice of him “not too soon, I am just thinking. But that is my plan, this is the shop. You stay out here for me” I asked “of course, let me know when Rachel is annoying” I sniggered “she is always on some shit, I am not even fucking bothered she asked me to see me, like whatever though” he parked the car up, getting out of the car “man” I groaned out, sometimes I get that pulling on my back, but I try to ignore that shit, I want to live life and Chris is right, make memories.

Smiling at my mom “Oakley” she said, she didn’t get up but she just waved at me like I am some local boy “alright” sitting down “I bought you a latter, two sweeteners” she knows, I like that “appreciate it” I said, I mean I am not sure what she wants “your nana erm, her dying wish to me was to make it up with you but I told I never fell out with you, I just didn’t like how you became. You became engrossed in being a rapper, I wasn’t having that Oakley and I still don’t” rubbing my face “right” I said “I am pass that mom, I am more stuck on you being racially nasty to my girlfriend and my son” she shook her head “son, I don’t care for the skin colour” she defended “mom I get you are lowkey racist, I know that. I don’t get why you even with my dad or fell for him in the first place” it blows my mind “I did fall for your dad, but we also fell out of that, I do care about him, I promise you I do Oakley” I sighed out “alright but you being that way pushed me away” she is never in the wrong “age gap, come on. I would say she was with you for money, but she has more money then you so out of every girl you chose her, I just don’t get what you saw in a girl that age!” she spat “but like you said we are passed that” I smiled laughing “I just want us to move on” shaking my head “the only reason I decided to come is because I want to be forgiving” looking down at my phone, a message from Badgalriri, what does she want “then we can we? Juke misses you” tapping on her message “yeah well things won’t be the same ever, but we can be cordial” I mumbled, staring at the message from her on Instagram.

Badgalriri: Hey Oakley!! I am so sorry for what you have and my heart pains for you and everyone around you, you are in my prayers and thoughts. As much as I have had issues with you I want you to excel and I pray you beat this, I do want to see you but I am not welcomed there, I am so sorry Oakley.

Squinting my eyes re-reading the message again “I am just going to use the bathroom” my mom said “yeah alright” I really don’t think my mum and I will have a relationship again, I just don’t feel anything towards her or even being here.

CentralCee: Appreciate it and don’t worry about it.

I don’t have anything to really say, I don’t know really I am just very disconnected with feelings, I am just so mixed, my mind is everywhere “hi, can I have a picture” looking up at this kid “oh yeah, for sure” getting up from the chair “my son loves you” I cooed out “you’re the best” he said, placing my arm around him smiling as the lady took a picture of us “thank you for the support” I said as I moved back “thank you Cench” smiling at him, sitting back down. She has replied back too.

Badgalriri: You’re most welcome and I don’t deserve it but if you can talk to my daughter. Really you are the only person she will listen too in this and it is usually her dad but it is you and I am sorry and I would like to see you both and I know you’re the only one she will hear out.

I frowned at the message “what is the plan for you now?” my mother asked, locking my phone and placing it on my lap “erm just tour, that is it” I shrugged “how is Aziel though, I miss him so much” smiling a little “he is well, just being himself. He is growing up quick, he is using the bathroom now, he calls it big boy and touching his pants when he wants to use it, I don’t know. He can’t say toilet, but yeah things are good with him” my mom did adore Aziel, I knew that “doing anything nice for your birthday” nodding my head slowly “Rylee is taking me away” I am giving such blunt answers “shocked she has any money left” I chuckled “she has money, so much so she still aiming for the home you’re in, but I won’t let that happen. Unless I marry her and then I die and give her the rights, the house is under my name” my mom glared at me “but you won’t be stupid enough to marry, you don’t like that” I chuckled “you know me well don’t you” she shrugged “it’s nice to just see a stranger every once in a while” staring at her “that’s what we are aren’t we” she agreed saying, we won’t be close but I guess we can speak now and then.

[bumblebeerror]

oh wow, so you actually like talking like this? i'm glad i'm not boring or annoying you.

the fight was very nasty and after she left my room i cried so hard for over an hour until i ran out of tears and got a dehydration headache. but the day after that fight and ever since, i feel so neutral. i thought i would be sadder, but my feelings are completely detached. i don't feel sad, i just feel defeated.

as for reaching out to other family... i don't think i would have much luck there.

my mom's side of the family lives in another city and my mother is extremely close to them (visits them once a week). considering i fell out with my mom, she would likely forbid me from visiting there. plus, i haven't seen my grandparents or any of my uncles on that side of the family since i was 13, and i wasn't really that close to any of them.

i also have a little cousin on that side of that family who is 8 years old. i loved playing with her when she was a tiny baby/toddler and i was a kid, but there's no way she remembers me anymore.

as for my father's side of the family...

my grandmother is dead. she died of bone cancer in september 2019, right when i was starting high school. she had to be moved to a hospital permanently the last three months. my parents told me she wanted me to visit her before she died, but i never did because i was going through my own issues. sometimes i feel bad, but my grandmother wasn't exactly the nicest woman and she fought with my mom a lot because our grandparents lived in our house for the longest time (well, technically we lived with them, it's my grandfather's house).

my grandfather was permanently placed into a retirement home in october 2021. he is a very stubborn, annoying man (i guess i inherited that from him...) who will talk and talk for hours until he drives you mad. he is essentially a child in an elderly man's body. he causes a lot of incidents in the retirement home and the nurses aren't too fond of him. he probably doesn't remember me because he's very old.

my dad has a sister who has a family, but they're pretty distant and i barely know them. i visited them once a year when i was a child, and it was very uncomfortable. i got the impression they didn't like me very much.

my dead-grandmother's extended family lives in the middle of a rural bumblefucknowhere village and i have no idea where to locate them, my grandfather's family is dead, my other grandfather's family is in another country and my alive-grandmother's country is also dead...

so yeah... not much luck with family.

i'm not gonna lie, i am pretty scared that my parents are going to kick me out of the house when summer ends.

i had this thought today that maybe the reason my mom decided to go no-contact with me is so she would have an easier time kicking me out on the street. it's kinda hard to kick out someone you talk to regularly. but if she avoids me for several months, treats me like a stranger and the last memory of me is an unpleasant fight, it would be much easier for her to force me out. she wouldn't hesitate as much. she very well could be doing this to make things easier for herself when the day comes.

when i had that epiphany, my heart did sink a little bit and i got a bit scared.

if they kick me out, it's over. i have nowhere to go.

but anyways... let's talk about something more positive.

i tried the app out and it's nice. i like how simple it is. it's very cute. and it genuinely does seem a bit helpful and even calming. i think i'm going to keep using the app every so often. not all the time, because i don't want it to turn into a stressor, but when i feel like it.

my birb is called "bluberri", and you have officially been friended. :3 i like your birb's drip.

Well yea mate chattin’s nice lol

I’m sorry your family’s not real close. I’d hope your mom isn’t just planning to kick you out and that it’s just a rough spot, but obv I don’t know how your mom works. I hope you and her can make up at some point, it seems really extreme if that’s her plan, like damn. Even no contact over an argument is kind of a lot tbh

Oh nice I’m glad you like it :D I got the notif but I think it glitched because I can’t see you in my tree 😭 hopefully it fixes itself. And thanks ! I like dressing up my lil guy a lot

[unizzizizi]

Year 2022 - 2023

This 2 years for me, had some of the most tragic events in my life. Let's start with 2022, it all starts with my body which always collapse and after that first collapse. I have been always sick, like I was sick more frequently, maybe not everytime but you know that it became more frequent. My old strong body is now gone due to this, as a little heavy load of doing things can cause me to collapse, and it's a tragic for me since it stops me for doing some things. And while this happens to me, my cat is suffering from blood cancer, more specifically Leukaemia. Everyday I'm the one who feeds him his maintenance, and it is quite tiring as he is always resisting once he sees the syringe that I am holding. And I need to do it with 4-7 medicines everyday, I do it in the morning, afternoon and dinner, sometimes I need to do it even on dawn. I really love my cat that's why even if it's quite tiring, I don't give up as his life depended on me. But even after all that hard work and battles my cat fought, he died after almost 1 year of finding out that he has Leukaemia. But before my cat died, my childhood pets also died with 2 days gap with each other. Let's start with my older cat, he's the reason why my family loves cats now as he is the one who softened and open the heart of my family to pets. We are all shocked when suddenly we see him being so weaked, that's why even it's in middle of the night where all the vets are close, we rush him to emergency vet clinic. While I'm carrying him to his carrier, he looked at me and then meowed. After a few seconds he died in my arms.

While I am mourning with my childhood cat who is gone, after 2 days my childhood dog also died suddenly, they said it's because of old age as we have the same age. This year, we have a bird called Martie, I'm the one who takes care of it. I'm with him when he was still a baby so it considered me as its mom. I trained him to fly around and then comeback when I call it even we're out in the house. When I sing or there's music, it dances with me and sing. When suddenly, one afternoon while I'm watching my grandma, I checked on my bird to found it dead. It's so sudden that I collapsed. Now after a few months, my dachshund gave birth to five puppies which I'm the one who also takes care. One by one, each of them died and it makes my dog depressed that she doesn't wanna eat, drink or do anything at all. As this was happening, I decided that I should go to the vet with her and do a check up so I know what can i do for her. But sadly even after all the medications and everything, she really missed her puppies so she followed them on the paradise.

Now onto the year 2023, one day suddenly there's a news about my auntie, which I called Nanay Perla, she was there even when I was a child, a part of my fashion sense and humor comes from her. Now, the news that I found out is that she only has few months left to live, I was really shocked and devastated, I didn't believe it as she was a strong person. But sadly after a few months of fighting and being always back and forth, from hospital to house, house to hospital, she died. Now, this one is just recently. It happened this month. When my another childhood cat died due to old age and after a few days our another oldest dog which is also the most big one died suddenly. They said it's also because of old age, after all this events I'm doubting myself if I'm doing it right, it left me a traumatic experience.

[seanfalco]

Girl Talk | Misfits Timeline Anomaly’verse

Word Count: 4.5k Warnings: smut, oral (f!receiving), voyeurism a/n: Happy Thirsty Thursday from @super-unpredictable98 & I 💚

——

Lydia stared at the Community Centre through the window, as she often did, her fingers dancing over guitar strings as she tried not to disturb the others still asleep in the bedroom. 

"I just wanna tell you that you're really pretty girl, I just wanna know if you will let me be your world.  I just know you got to taste like candy, candy girl.  I just wanna tell you that you're really pretty girl..."

Win stirred as she heard the faint sound of singing coming from the other room and she sat up, rubbing her eyes. Looking down she noticed right away that Lydia was gone, both Nathans sprawled out snoring softly. Carefully extricating herself, Win gently brushed her fingers through her Nathan's curls as she slipped off the bed, grabbing one of the boys’ hoodies from the door handle to wrap around herself as she snuck out to the other room, drawn by the sound of Lydia's voice.

"I just wanna tell you... Jesus Christ!" Lydia yelped, clutching her chest when she noticed Win standing next to her. She immediately turned red as if somehow her girlfriend could read her mind through the song. "Sorry, did I wake you up?"

Win smiled at the sight of Lyddie's burning cheeks, sitting down next to her, and tucking her bare legs under her. "Yeah, but it's okay. Your lovely voice is the best thing to wake up to," she said, tucking her hair behind her ear as she leaned in to brush a kiss to Lyddie's cheek. "Were you perhaps, singing about me just now?" she asked innocently.

"Yes..." Lydia admitted, unable to look Win in the eye, but leaning into her touch. "I- God, I'm terrible at this, you're so charming and I feel like everything I say just sounds dorky." 

Another stolen song, she should probably tell Win that as much as she meant those words, they weren't hers, but maybe now wasn't the best moment for that…

"I don't think you're dorky, and you're far from terrible at this..." Win murmured, tilting her head. "You've thoroughly charmed me."

"Maybe you just have a soft spot for former nerds and delinquents," Lydia placed her hand on the back of Win's neck, closing the distance between them with a tender kiss.

Win sighed as she kissed Lydia back, savouring the moment.

"Don't you know, I'm a delinquent too," she teased, "and a closet nerd." At the skeptical look on Lydia's face Win's grin grew. "Oh yes, there's much you have yet to learn about me, Lydia Bellamy."

"That makes a lot of sense, I have a thing for bad girls," Lydia chuckled, putting the guitar away. "But why don't you tell me, then? What do I have to learn about Winrey Lewis in order to become an expert?"

Win smirked, "Oh jeeze, where to start," she mused, twisting a strand of Lyddie's hair between her fingers. "Well, I love a good horror movie... and the bad ones too," she said, thinking. "I read comic books, the dirty ones," she confessed with a laugh. "and I stole the yellow Fender that I use for all my shows," she finished. "What more do you want to know?" she asked.

"First of all, yes, bad horror movies are great. Second of all, I read the superhero ones, but I'd love to try yours. And third of all, that is so fucking sexy..." Lydia groaned, holding Win against her chest as she leaned against the window.

"Tell me a little about your family, how are they? I can't wait to meet them."

Win's smile faltered as Lyddie brought up her family and she went quiet. "Ahh, yeah... my family," she mumbled awkwardly, sighing. "You don't wanna meet them. Trust me."

"Oh," Lydia suddenly felt horrible for even bringing it up. "What's the deal with them? T-t-that is if you wanna tell me, if you don't that totally fine, I understand."

Win felt Lydia tense next to her and she quickly sat up, looking at her girlfriend. "My mum died when I was 16. She had cancer. She fought it for three years and we thought..." she shook her head, "It came out of remission and it took her quickly.”

“After that my dad, he... he changed. He remarried shortly after, like he couldn't even wait for my mum to be put in the ground. And my step mum... she's such a cunt. Just ask Nathan."

Win shook her head, a bitter twist to her lips. "And then there's my step sister, Delilah. She's a year older than me, and the reason I ended up in community service."

"I'm so sorry, Winnie," Lydia didn't even know how to react, she thought about her family all the time and lamented what happened when she left, but at least they were all alive and well. "I shouldn't have said anything, I'm really sorry..." Lydia suddenly stopped when she realized something. "Your step sister, you say her name is Delilah, isn't she the one who threw that party last year?"

"Yeah, you know about that?" Win asked, sitting up straighter, curious as to how Lyddie knew.

"That fucking bitch! She's friends with my bully's older sister, well... one of my bullies. After that fight in the bowling alley, your step sister and those two slags made my life a living hell!" Lydia groaned furiously. "They filled my locker with mice, they told everyone I had sex with our bio teacher, they dumped a bucket of piss on me... That was just the first month."

"Wait, what!" Win gasped, her brows drawing down, her mouth falling open. "That cunt," she growled under her breath. "Lyddie, I'm so sorry!"

"Yeah, it was a difficult year... Jesus, I understand why you don't want me to meet them," Lydia shook her head, remembering all the laughs, the stares, and the name calling.

"Hey," Win murmured, slowly wrapping her arms around Lydia's shoulders, an idea coming to her. "Maybe we should go see them sometime, if only t'give Delilah a little taste of her own medicine," she laughed.

"Yeah... I would like that," Lydia smiled, the idea of avenging her younger self was tempting. "And I think your step mom is gonna have a fit when she knows you're in a quad, we can kill two birds with one bullet."

Win laughed. “My dad already hates Nathan, especially after the scene he caused the first time they met and then when we all went over to get my stuff when we got our flat he told him he’d knocked me up.”

"That is the most Nathan thing I've ever heard," Lydia snorted with laughter. "Oh my God, I wish I could've seen his face... I love when Nate pulls this kind of stunt, it's kinda hot."

“He looked like a fish,” Win laughed as she remembered how he’d open and closed his mouth several times, his face turning progressively redder. “And you’re right. It is kinda hot,” Win agreed with a sigh, feeling affection wash over her for her Nathan.

"I wish I could introduce you to my parents, my mum might... have some issues, but my dad would love you!" Lydia smiled sadly, a sharp sting in her heart from thinking about him. "He'd probably tell you my good taste in women comes from him."

“Tell me about him,” Win prompted gently, resting her head on Lyddie’s shoulder. “I mean, if you want. He just seems special to you.”

"My dad is the kindest, most caring man I know, that's where Simon gets it from. He's brave, and funny, and smart... my mum was almost never home because of work, so he basically raised us, he's the only person I regret leaving behind," Lydia's eyes filled with tears, and she looked away, not wanting to seem weak. "I see him from time to time, with Si, or on the street, I always have to remind myself that I can't run to him..."

“I’m sorry, Lyddie,” Win murmured, gently turning her face back toward her, running her thumbs under her eyes to catch her tears. “That’s gotta be hard to see him, but not able to talk to him. Is there any way you can tell him the truth? Or would that mess with the timeline more?”

"The problem is my mum, if she found out she'd go mental. Curtis told me when she found out about Simon having powers in an alternative timeline she freaked out so bad, he had to move out." Lydia sighed and tried to put on a smile. "But it's okay, it's not the end of the world... Maybe one day."

“Ahhh,” Win said, frowning slightly, a thought coming to her. Maybe if there was a way they could get Lyddie’s mom out of the house and distract her, give Lydia some time to talk to her dad without her mom there... It was a thought, and she’d need to refine it first before she brought it up, but it was there. “Yeah, one day,” she agreed, brushing Lyddie’s hair from her face.

"So... how was it that you stole that guitar?" Lydia draped her arms around Win's neck and dragged her lips softly along her girlfriend's jaw. She needed a distraction to forget all that sadness and maybe help Win forget hers as well. "I'm asking for research purposes... obviously."

“What, you gunna become a thief too now, hmm?” Win asked, humming at Lydia’s touch.

"I don't plan on it," Lyddie purred, kissing and nipping at Win's neck. "I just can't stop imagining you doing it."

“Ohhhh, that’s right, you like bad girls,” she moaned, grinning, her hands sliding down Lyddie’s sides. “I only nicked it from the pawn shop while the guy’s back was turned.”

"That's really hot, but then again... anything you do is hot," Lydia's hands snaked under Win's hoodie. "The boys are asleep, what do you say we have some fun? Just the two of us?"

“Anything, huh?” Win mused, her breath catching as Lydia’s hands slid under her hoodie. “I say that sounds good she moaned, arching into her girlfriend’s touch. “You’ll hafta be quiet though, if you don’t wanna wake the boys.”

"That won't be a problem, my mouth will be busy," Lydia giggled before capturing Win's lips in a heated kiss while her hands still roamed the other woman's body. "I wanna taste you..."

“Oh, really?” Win purred, a pleased grin curling her lips as she kissed Lyddie back, slipping her tongue in the other woman’s mouth.

Lydia hummed in response, hooking Win's legs around her waist. "You're so sexy..." 

"Am I still dreamin' or is this really happenin'?"

Nathan's voice made Lydia nearly scream in surprise, then huff in frustration.

Win groaned softly, pressing her forehead to Lydia’s shoulder when the other woman turned toward the Nathan in the doorway. She wasn’t sure, but she had a feeling it the was the Nathan from Lydia’s dimension.

"Don't let me stop ya, I'm- I'm not even here!" Lyddie's Nathan sat down on the couch. "Go on..."

"Usually I have to shake you awake and today is the day you decide to wake up on your own?" Lydia whined. "Brilliant..."

Win snorted, turning Lydia’s face back to her, a strange excitement filling her at the thought of being watched. “You did say you’d let him watch,” she mused.

"Yeah... I suppose it's fair," Lydia felt a weird embarrassment — is that what people call stage fright? "So, where were we?" She grabbed a throw pillow for Win to lay on and crawled between her legs.

Win settled against the pillow, lifting her hips so Lyddie could pull her knickers down, desire pooling between her legs. Noticing the nervous look on her girlfriend’s face, Win held her gaze. 

“Just focus on me, Lyddie,” she purred, opening her legs wider. She knew that nervous feeling all too well from when Nathan had first suggested making their own videos, but she’d soon gotten over it, finding it more exciting than anything. “Are you gunna touch yourself while you watch?” she asked, lifting her head to address Nathan.

"Me? Oh, I mean, it'd be a waste if I didn't, don'tcha think? Such a nice view..." Nathan leaned back with one arm behind his head and Lydia took a deep breath, focusing on her girlfriend as she lowered herself to kiss Win's thighs teasingly. 

Nathan would never judge you or your technique, he loves you, she thought, he's enjoying it, there's nothing to worry about.

Win tried to bite back her pleased smile. Something about the thought of Lyddie’s Nathan getting off to them made her feel even hotter. 

“Mmm, Lyds,” she whined softly, twitching as she felt her lips on her sensitive thighs, feeling herself get even wetter with the anticipation. “Oh please, I want you so much babe. I want that beautiful mouth, please Lyddie,” she moaned, rolling her hips and stretching, slowly unzipping Nathan’s hoodie to bare her chest.

"You look adorable when you beg, Winnie," Lyddie felt a wave of confidence build up inside of her, her hands traveling to Win's chest, rolling her nipples slowly. Watching as her girlfriend squirmed, Lydia bit her lip, moving back to where Win wanted her the most. "This is what you want?" she flicked her tongue on her clit, giving it kitten licks, looking up to catch the reaction.

“Oh yes, God, your tongue feels like heaven,” she moaned, already forgetting about Nathan, Lydia drawing her attention completely. Jesus, but the way she was looking up at her like that from between her legs, it was too much. The subby little Lydia was nowhere to be seen, and Win felt her whole body flush at the confidence that radiated from her.

"You taste so good, baby... my candy girl.”  She dragged her tongue along Win's wet slit, tasting her arousal, which only made Lyddie even more eager to please her. 

Nathan watched agape from the couch, his hand already stroking his rapidly hardening cock. He wanted to let Lydia know how hot that was, but he feared that would only make her feel shy.

Win moaned louder, stretching one arm over her head as the other tangled in Lydia’s hair, catching sight of Nathan for a moment, his lips parted beautifully, the look of pure lust on his face as he stroked himself hot as hell. “Oh, please,” she murmured, squirming, desperate for more. “Bring me undone, Lollipop,” she begged, hoping it was alright to call her that. She wasn’t sure if that was a Nathan only pet name, but it felt so good to say it.

"Oh, Jesus..." Nathan twitched, clenching his eyes shut. It was so sexy when she said it. Lydia felt her own arousal coating the inside of her thighs, this was turning out to be way hotter than she expected.

Without even thinking about it, Lyddie slid two fingers inside of Win and curled them as her tongue kept teasing her partner's clit mercilessly.

“Oh!” Win cried softly, not ready to be filled by Lyddie’s fingers and clenching around them tightly. “Oh, just like that,” she gasped, chest heaving, her hand in Lydia’s hair tightening unconsciously. “Oh, I’m getting close!”

"Yeah? Come for me, baby, give it to me!" Lydia pumped her fingers in and out of Win as her tongue moved at a steady pace, intoxicated by the feeling of giving pleasure. Nathan felt himself getting closer as well, low grunts escaping his lips, his eyes glued to the girls.

“Ahh!” Win cried, tensing, her back arching as she pressed her cunt to Lydia’s face. “Oh God, Lyddie!” she keened, whining softly as her muscles twitched and jerked as she came against her girlfriend’s eager mouth, her eyes squeezing shut as her mouth fell open.

"Fuuuck," Nathan moaned as he came, rolling his head back. "That was so hot... Jesus..." 

"So," Lyddie gave Win one last lick before moving up to face her with a hopeful look. "How was that, baby?"

Win collapsed back against the floor, trying to catch her breath. “You have—no idea—how hot you are,” she gasped, pulling Lydia toward her for a kiss. “God, you’re amazing. I’m so spoiled,” she teased lightly.

"I like spoiling you," Lydia mused at Win's beautiful post-orgasm glow. "I love to hear you moaning for me." 

"Okay, that was... Holy shit," Nathan panted, throwing one hand in the air. "High five, Lollipop, you've got some skills!"

“I agree with Nathan,” Win said, pushing herself up to her elbows. “You’ve got mad skills, babe.”

"Seems like I might have to do it again when your Nathan is awake then... I think he deserves it too," Lydia chuckled before pressing her lips to Win's

Win kissed her back, relishing the taste of herself on her lips. “Mmm, I won’t argue with that,” she murmured, sitting up further to slip her fingers over Lydia’s rather soaked panties. “But what about you, hmm?  You must be awful turned on, babe.”

Simply the feather-like touch of Win's fingers made Lydia gasp softly as her entire body tensed up. "I am, would you like to take care of that for me, Winnie?" Lydia gave her girlfriend an innocent look. 

"I'll never watch a porno again... this is so much better!" Nathan laughed with amusement.

“Hey, where is everyo—?” Win’s Nathan’s question cut off as he stepped out of the bedroom. “I need t’stop sleepin’ in so late,” he muttered, his eyes going straight to Win and Lydia on the floor, Win’s chest still bare in naught but his open hoodie. “What I miss?” 

Win flushed sheepishly, burying her face in Lydia’s chest, hoping he wouldn’t be upset that they’d let him sleep through that.

"Y'missed round one, but round two is still on..." Lyddie's Nathan said as if they were watching a fight. Lydia tried not to laugh, she felt bad for Win's Nathan, but she would find a way to make it up to him. She shed her jumper and threw it across across room, hoping he would be able to enjoy himself at least a little bit…

“Aw man,” he muttered, plopping down on the other end of the couch. As strange as it sounded, he was curious to watch someone else pleasure his girlfriend for a change, wanting to really be able to focus on the faces she’d make or the way she sounded as she squirmed with pleasure. But this was just as good. 

Win promptly ran her palms up Lydia’s bare chest as she leaned in to kiss her neck roughly.

“You don’t happen to have a strap on do you Lyds?” she whispered in her ear.

"Actually, I don't, but I know where to get one..." Lydia raised her eyebrows and looked over at the pair of Nathans. "Which one of you would be so nice to make a strap on for us?" 

"I got it..." Lyddie's Nathan nodded. With a snap of his fingers the toy appeared in his other hand. "There ya go, love." 

"Is this your cock?" Lyddie analyzed the dildo carefully. 

"'Course it is! I know how much y'love the beast..."

“I don’t know why I didn’t think of that,” Win laughed, taking the toy from Lydia and standing to put it on, feeling both pairs of emerald eyes on her. “You like?” she asked, tilting her head with a smirk. For a moment she wondered if Lyddie’s Nathan had ever been pegged before.

Lyddie's Nathan uncomfortably looked away for a second, exchanging a look with his clone. He felt conflicted, because that was really sexy... 

"Mhmm..." he responded almost inaudibly. 

"You look so gorgeous like this," Lydia exclaimed, her chest heaving in anticipation.  She’d never done this before, but Win seemed quite experienced, so she felt safe.

Win noticed Lyddie’s Nathan’s hesitance and she had a feeling she had the answer to her question. But there had been a flash of want there. Her Nathan on the other hand smirked and nodded, eyeing her unabashedly. 

“Are y’nervous?” Win murmured as she gently pushed Lydia to her back and hovered over her, gripping the silicone cock to rub the tip teasingly along her glistening slit.

Lyddie's Nathan stared at the other one puzzled, why was he so comfortable with this? Had he...? Oh God. 

"A little, but I trust you," Lydia nearly whispered, letting her body relax, it couldn't be that different from any other cock, right? There was nothing to be scared of.

“Just let me know if you want me to slow down or go faster,” Win murmured, stealing a kiss before guiding the tip of the toy to her entrance and pushing into her slowly, letting her adjust. It had been too long since she’d fucked a girl like this, fuck but if it wasn’t turning her on again. 

Pulling out nearly all the way, she slid back in, slightly farther, working her way to sheathing the toy completely, her hips grinding against Lyddie’s pelvic floor, the edge of the strap rubbing deliciously against Win’s pussy. “Does that feel good?” she asked, holding in place, watching her girlfriend’s expression carefully.

"Yes!" Lydia moaned, throwing her arms around Win's shoulders as she felt herself deliciously stretching around the toy. "So good..." 

Lydia was wrong, it felt completely different from having sex with Nathan, but it was amazing. 

She fought the urge to shut her eyes, wanting to watch as Win thrusted into her. "Fuck me harder, Winnie, please..." Lyddie begged, bucking her hips.

“Sure thing, Lollipop,” she drawled, smirking as she thrust into her again, harder this time, her small tits bouncing as she found a rhythm, spurred on by the lovely sounds Lyddie was making.

"Wow, she's really goin' for it..." Lyddie's Nathan muttered under his breath, which was completely drowned by Lydia's whimpers.

"Oh, Win, right there! Don't stop, baby! I'm gonna... Oh fuck!" she watched Win hypnotized, her eyes, her tits, her hips, she didn't wanna miss a single detail.

“That’s right babe, I wanna hear you when you come. Be as loud as you want, love,” Win panted, not slowing, each rolling thrust only serving to send another jolt of pleasure through herself as well.

Lydia usually wasn't that loud, always scared to be heard, but something about the way Win said those words just made her want to be heard. "God, you're so fucking sexy!" she unapologetically shouted, letting her orgasm take over in what felt like an explosion inside of her. Lyddie's body relaxed, she collapsed still sighing Win's name like prayer.

Feeling her second orgasm from just the friction alone, Win shuddered as she thrust one last time into Lydia, nearly collapsing herself, feeling sweat roll down her face. “Oh, Lyddie, you did so well,” she murmured wearily. 

“Oh shit, that was hot,” Win’s Nathan groaned, quickly cleaning the sticky mess from his stomach.

"Come here," Lydia pulled Win closer, wanting to be held. "That was fucking incredible, you're you're good at this, lots of practice?" 

For once in his life Lyddie's Nathan was speechless, he didn't know to react, how to feel... Lyds would look good in one o'those, was all that went through his mind.

“Sort of,” Win answered, unbuckling the harness from her waist as she situated herself next to Lydia, wrapping her arms around her. “I’ve not used one on a girl in a while.”

"Oh..." Lydia understood immediately what that meant and giggled while hiding her face on Win's chest, thinking about it. 

"Um, okay, you guys hungry? I'm starvin'..." Lyddie's Nathan got up abruptly and left for the kitchen as quickly as he could.

Win watched him go, her stomach twisting with guilt. Had she said something wrong? Did she make him uncomfortable?

She nearly pushed herself up to go after him, but hesitated, unsure if that would even be helpful. Maybe Lyddie should be the one? Before she could make up her mind, it was her Nathan that pushed off the couch, stretching nonchalantly, though he flashed her a pointed look.

“Y’know, after that display I’m pretty hungry myself. You girls stay there, lookin’ pretty,” he said, following his clone out.

"Hey, man," Lyddie's Nathan tried to sound casual as he fixed himself a sandwich with whatever he could find in the fridge. "The girls are really goin' at it, aren't they?"

“Yeah, it’s definitely somethin’ else. I think we’re livin’ the dream, ain’t we?”

"Yeah, yeah..." he nodded trying to ignore the question lingering in his brain, but it was nearly impossible. "Did Win... Did she ever...?"

Nathan swallowed, clearing his throat. He had a feeling that was what was on his mind. “Uh, yeah... we, uhm...” he stopped to clear his throat again. As much as he found he enjoyed being pegged by his girlfriend, it was still something about himself he was getting used to. “It... it wasn’t exactly somethin’ I’d asked her to try, but she’d wanted to and... well would you be able t’say no t’her?” he demanded, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

"I s'pose not... Lyds never brought that up, I just... It caught me by surprise, that's all. I never imagined myself doin' that."

Lyddie's Nathan felt a little lost hearing his clone talking about those things, because that meant he also had the potential to do the same. That scared him more than he'd care to admit. "But um... Is it good?" he said as quietly as he possibly could.

Win’s Nathan chuckled awkwardly. “I mean, I didn’t think it would be, but... yeah. I wouldn’t have let her do it more than once if it wasn’t,” he admitted, rolling his shoulders. “But hey, just cuz me an’ Win do a thing, doesn’t mean you and Lyddie hafta.”

"That's the thing, man... I know she'll want to, and that shit was really fuckin' hot, so I kinda..." Lyddie's Nathan stopped himself in the middle of the sentence, he wasn't ready to say it. He simply scrunched up his face, hoping his clone would understand, and why wouldn't he? They were the same person.

Win’s Nathan merely nodded, clapping his clone on the shoulder. “Yeah, I get it.” After a moment he looked thoughtful. “I could always ask Win t’give her some pointers, if y’want...” he offered with a shrug.

"I think she's askin' for it as we speak," Lyddie's Nathan chuckled, piling up the sandwiches on a plate, knowing the girls would be hungry as well. "Those two... Jesus."

“They’re certainly voracious,” Nathan agreed. Back in the other room, Win had moved her and Lyddie to the couch, the floor having gotten a little uncomfortable. “How you doing?” she asked, stroking her fingers through Lydia’s hair.

"Never been better," Lydia snuggled closer to Win. "You look so hot with that thing on. I kinda wanna try it one day..."

“I’d like that,” Win admitted, loving seeing her girlfriend be more dominant and confident. “I’m not sure, but I think your Nathan liked it too.”

"Yeah, he got a little flustered there... I should talk to him about it," Lydia mused, and then turned to very gently brush her lips on Win's. "But I might need to practice with you first."

“I like the sound of that,” Win replied, grinning against Lyddie’s lips. “Maybe sometime when we don’t have an audience,” she added wryly.

[rmtndew]

Begin Again ~ Chapter 6

Summary: Walter Marshall is a dedicated homicide detective doing his best to balance his work life with being a single father to a teenage girl. Fiona Sparks is a woman doing her best to take care of everyone and everything around her, except for herself. Neither has had the best luck with relationships, but once they meet, they’re willing to give it another shot, this time with each other. (It’s basically just romantic fluff) 

Pairing: Marshall and OFC.

Rating: PG

Warnings: Mentions of death, cancer.

A/N - This is a sequel to ‘All I’ve Ever Known’. I started writing this because I needed an escape for some personal stuff going on and my coping mechanism included giving Marshall all the love that man needed, and imagining him being the softest boyfriend to me, then passing those details on to Fiona (my OFC).

Tag list - @hollydaisy23, @alyxkbrl, @onlyhenrys, @omgkatinka, @speakerforthedead0​​, @gearhead66,  @thethirstyarchive, @oddsnendsfanfics, @littlerinoa, @agniavateira, @aaescritora, @justaboringadult, @beenthroughalot, @seriouslygoodlookinggents, @xxxkatxo, @musicartmayheminmyheart​, @lilliannaansalla​

If you want to be added/removed from the tag list, let me know!

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7

The next week started out well. Marshall’s closed case meant paperwork - which I knew he wasn’t a fan of - but it gave us the ability to spend more time together. After his court appearance on Monday, he stopped by the shop so I could see him in his suit. He was insanely handsome - he really did clean up nicely - but I preferred him looking like a big cozy bear in his thick sweaters, so I gave him the go ahead to change into something more casual for our date that night. Darcy, being the wonderful friend that she was, let me leave a few hours early so that Walter and I could meet up sooner. We had dinner and picked up everything he’d ordered for Faye’s room. Then we went to his house and he assembled the new furniture while I painted the old. Tuesday he picked me up and we had Chinese takeout before finishing the room. It took all night - I didn’t get home until close to one in the morning - but we both worked to get it done in time. And it was well worth it. I may have been an adult, but even I was a little jealous of how cute it had turned out. Faye’s birthday was the next day, Wednesday, and Marshall picked her up from school, then surprised her with it before taking her home. That evening while I was on the phone with him, she sent me a sweet text thanking me for helping him out and telling me how much she loved it. 

Unfortunately, things started falling apart for me after that. Mom spent Thursday getting ready for her trip with my aunts that weekend, and despite how much I tried to convince myself that she would be okay, my anxiety wasn’t buying it. Since Dad died, I hadn’t spent a single night away from her. And with her cancer still feeling fresh in my mind, knowing that I wouldn’t be there with her if something were to go wrong made my anxiety worse. It came to a head Friday morning when I had a panic attack. I was having coffee when it hit me. The chest pains, the heart palpitations, the tingling in my arms, the numbness in my fingers and toes. I felt dizzy, my vision swimming. I knew what it was, I’d had them for more than half my life, and yet I was always scared it was something more. A heart attack usually. My mind could never comprehend how something like anxiety could cause such an intense physical reaction. But it did and when it was over, I was exhausted. I was thankful that I didn’t have to go to work - Darcy had closed the shop for the day - because the most I managed to do that morning was take a shower and put on sweatpants and an oversized sweater. By that afternoon, I felt torn between being too tired to do anything useful and needing something to distract me from dwelling on Mom going away. She wouldn’t let me help her with anything, so I finally settled on cleaning out the fridge. That’s where I was, trying to identify the contents of a container that had gotten pushed to the back, for who knows how long, when I got a text from Marshall. 

Marshall:  I wanted to see if you had plans for dinner? I know your mother is leaving this evening and didn’t know if you’d cook for yourself. I  can take you out, or cook for you, if you’d like?

I wanted so badly to say yes, but I didn’t have the energy. Cleaning out the fridge was as much as I had been able to force myself to do, and even that was pushing it. There was no way I could manage to get ready for a date. 

Me:  I don’t have plans. Unfortunately I’m not feeling well. Do you take rainchecks on dinner?

I hated turning him down for several reasons. One being that I loved spending time with him, no matter what we did. But another was knowing that he wasn’t always going to have free time to spend with me. That these few weeks we’d had were rare, at least by his admission, and I felt like I was squandering it. 

Marshall:  I do take rainchecks. And I’m sorry that you’re not well. Is there anything I can do for you? 

Me: No. It’ll pass. But thank you for offering. I promise I’ll make it up to you when I can. 

Almost as soon as I sent it, he replied, like he’d anticipated what I was going to say and was waiting, his thumb hovering over the send button. 

Marshall:  You have nothing to make up for, Fi. Just let me know if I  can get you anything. 

Reading the text, I felt like crying. He was wonderful and there was no reason why I shouldn’t have been able to go out with him, except my brain decided to have a meltdown and destroy my whole day. 

Me:  I will. You’re too sweet, Walter. Thank you. 

Marshall:  That’s not possible. 

Me:  For you to be sweet? I highly disagree, mister. 

Marshall:  No. For anyone to be too sweet to you, love. 

My heart fluttered for a moment, touched by how wonderful he truly was. But it was over quickly, replaced by tears. I’d finally found someone that I adored and that treated me better than anyone ever had, but even still, my anxiety fought it and that afternoon, it won. 

A few hours later, June came by to pick up Mom. I carried her suitcase to the car, then made sure she had everything important in her purse. 

“Fiona, I’ve got it, sweetie. I’ve got my medicine, my wallet, and my phone. Anything else I need, we can pull over and get.”

“What about your phone charger?” I asked. 

“In the suitcase.”

“Your car charger?”

At that, she looked a little sheepish. “I did forget that one.”

“I’ll go grab it for you. Where is it?”

“I think it’s on my vanity. If not, don’t worry about it, Bird. June will have her phone, too.”

“I know, but I’d feel better if you had it. I’ll be right back.” 

I ran upstairs and looked at Mom’s vanity. The charger wasn’t sitting on it, so I went through the drawers, searching for it with no luck. I didn’t know where else she would keep it, but I knew that if I asked, she would tell me to forget it and try to leave before I could find it. So I decided to give her mine to take instead. I had a backup one with a shorter cord in the bottom drawer of my nightstand. 

“You’ll have to take mine. I can’t find yours,” I called, starting down the stairs. 

“Well, I found something,” she called back. “There was a surprise on the doorstep.”

“Mom, I swear if you brought the neighbor’s cat in again, I’m telling. It’s not inhumane to have an outdoor cat,” I said. But when I reached the bottom of the staircase, I saw who she’d ‘found’ and couldn’t hold back my smile. It wasn’t a cat, thankfully. It was Marshall. He smiled back at me. 

“Are you still going to tell on me?” Mom asked. 

“I’ll consult with Detective Marshall here and decide,” I said, walking over to her. 

Marshall was standing with one hand behind his back, the other holding a bouquet of wildflowers. “I hope it’s okay that I’m here.”

“Of course,” I said. 

“Well, we have to get on the road, so we’ll leave the two of you to it.” Mom turned and gently pulled my head down for her to kiss my forehead. “I love you, sweetie. I’ll call you when we get there.” 

I handed her my charger and she put it in her purse. “I love you, too. Be careful and have fun, okay?” 

“I will.” She looked up at Walter. “Would you do me a favor and keep an eye on her this weekend? She could cut one of her limbs off and wouldn’t tell me because she wouldn’t want to ‘bother’ me.” 

He nodded. “Yes, ma’am, I will.”

She patted his arm. “Thank you.”

Mom and June gave me hugs before leaving. June told Marshall that it was nice to ‘finally’ meet him. I rolled my eyes but he smiled and said it was nice to meet her, too. I stood in the doorway and watched them leave. Once they were gone, I closed the door and turned back to Walter. 

He rubbed his neck, looking a bit bashful. I didn’t think I could ever get used to him looking that way. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you sending her off.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure she was happy to have you here to be a buffer. I think she was half afraid that I was going to cling to her leg like I did when I was a kid and try to keep her from going.” I went to him and brushed a curl back from his forehead. I squinted at him playfully. “Now that I’m thinking about it, that was pretty convenient for her. Did she call you?” I joked. 

He smiled enough for me to see the sharp end of his canines. “No. I was on my way home and wanted to check on you since you said you weren’t feeling well.” He held up the flowers. “And bring these to you.”

“That was sweet. Thank you.”

“Are you worried about your mum leaving?” he asked. I nodded. He put his free hand on my hip, drawing me closer. “I figured that may have been it, instead of you being ill.”

I put my hands on his chest, feeling the soft texture of his cable knit sweater under my palms. “I know she’s a grown woman, and I know she’s a lot healthier now than she was, and I know she’s going to be with family, so I really shouldn’t be worried, but I can’t help it.” I chewed my lip for a moment. “I had a panic attack this morning. I didn’t tell her, because I knew she’d know it was over her leaving and I didn’t want her to feel guilty,” I said. “But that’s why I asked about a raincheck for dinner. It drained me and I didn’t think I’d have the energy to go anywhere. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize for that. It’s understandable to be worried about her. You’ve taken care of her the whole time she was sick,” he said. “I’m sorry it caused you to have a panic attack, though.”

“I’m used to them. I’ve had them half my life.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

I shook my head. “It just drained me. I’ll be better tomorrow.” 

“Would you like me to stay and keep you company?” 

I looked down at my hands. “You don’t have to.”

“I know I don’t have to. Do you want me to?”

I took a deep breath. “Please,” I whispered.

He kissed the bridge of my nose, then put his forehead to mine. “I’ll stay as long as you want.”

I smiled. “Then you may never leave.”

“I wouldn’t complain.”

I looked up at him again. “Have you eaten? I could make us dinner.”

“Would you let me order take out for us instead?”

“You don’t trust my cooking?” I joked. 

He smiled back. “It’s not that. I promise. But I would feel better if I felt like I was taking care of you, not the other way around.

I bit my lip for a moment, thinking. “Okay.”

“Good girl,” he said, then placed a kiss on my forehead.

A flush instantly pinched at my cheeks, the heat spreading to my ears and neck, just from two simple words. “We should get those flowers in some water,” I said, moving back and taking them from his hand. I didn’t want him to see how flustered I was.

I walked to the kitchen and he followed. I found a vase in one of the cabinets and filled it with water, then I took the flowers from their wrapping and placed them inside. Marshall took the wrapping from me and put it in the trash while I arranged the flowers. Once I had them how I wanted them, I carried them to the table and placed them in the center. Marshall came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me, and kissed my shoulder. I wasn’t a petite woman, but he engulfed me, making me feel dainty for the first time in my life. I closed my eyes and melted into his touch.

“Thank you again for the flowers. They’re beautiful,” I said. 

“You’re welcome.” He kissed my shoulder again, then kissed a trail from there up to my neck. I sunk further into him with each kiss. He finished with a soft, lingering kiss behind my ear. “What would you like to eat?”

“Do we have to eat? I kind of don’t want to move from right here.”

He laughed and I felt it rumble through me. “I assure you, I plan on resuming this as soon as dinner’s taken care of.”

“Promise?”

He nodded. “Yes, darling.”

“Keep calling me stuff like that and I’m going to be too weak in the knees to do anything else.”

He laughed again. “Is that so?”

I turned my head to look at him. He looked amused. “Yes, it is. Don’t act like you don’t know what kind of effect you have on me.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said with a slight smirk.

“Oh really?” I asked. He shook his head. I took his right hand away from my waist and moved it, placing it over my heart, and held it there with my own hand. “Call me darling again.”

He looked confused, but he did it anyway. “My darling, Fiona,” he said. Then I watched his eyes widen as he felt my heart rate pick up. “That’s because of one word?”

“It’s because of you. Because of how you say it. Because of how you make me feel when you say it.” 

He gave me a kiss, soft and gentle, then smiled as he pulled back. My heart was beating faster and I knew he could feel it under his palm. “So it’s not just words,” he whispered, sending shivers through me. “My beautiful -” He kissed behind my ear. “Sweet -” He kissed my neck. “Smart -” My head tilted for him naturally. He kissed the underside of my jaw. “Darling,” he said, then pressed a kiss to my exposed collarbone. 

Never in my life had a man made me feel the way Walter did. Especially right then. He surrounded me, crowded every one of my senses, and made me feel weak and strong at the same time. I could be vulnerable with him, let him know exactly what he did to me, and I wasn’t afraid he’d exploit it. I wasn’t afraid of him at all. He was protection. I knew that he would protect me, protect my heart, and so even though I could feel it beating so fast it almost hurt, I kept his hand pressed against it, wanting him to feel some small part of how he made me feel. 

He let his lips linger on my collarbone for a moment, and then, to my surprise, he blew a raspberry on it. I squealed, my knees buckling at the sudden tickling sensation. He caught me, his arm around my waist tightening to keep me from falling. I burst into a fit of giggles and he laughed, too, moving his hand from my heart to circle around my waist, joining the other one.

“Are you ticklish?” he asked, still laughing. 

“I didn’t think I was, but no one’s ever done that,” I said, my cheeks starting to hurt from how wide my smile was. 

“Hm...this could be an interesting experiment, then.”

“No, sir!” I said, still laughing. 

“Fine.” He kissed the side of my head. “It’s better when it’s a surprise anyway,” he said. He loosened his grip on me, then turned me to face him. He looked very satisfied with himself as he smirked at me. “Do you still want to do this, or will you let me order dinner now?”

I shook my head at him. “You sneaky bear,” I said, my smile never breaking. “Yes, you may order dinner now.”

“What would you like?” 

“I think...a deep-dish pizza, please.”

He smiled. “Then pizza it is, love.” 

Marshall ordered pizza, then he and I cuddled on the couch until it arrived. Then we ate it straight from the box while watching baking shows. After dinner, we got comfortable. He sat on the couch and I sat beside him, stretching my legs out and leaning my back against his chest. He wrapped me up in a blanket and held me. His hand occasionally playing with my hair, running his fingers through it. We didn’t talk very much, but we didn’t have to. Just him being there was enough to make me feel better. Eventually, my anxiety melted away, leaving me relaxed. My eyes were growing heavy when Mom called, the sound startling me. 

“Hey Bird, did I wake you?” she asked. 

“No. I’m watching TV. You’re fine.”

“You didn’t stay up for me, did you?”

“No. I’m watching a show with Walt.”

“Oh, is he still there?”

“He is. You’d be proud of him. He’s looked after me very well tonight.”

“That makes me feel better. You’ll have to tell him I said thank you.”

“I will. How was the drive? Did you guys get there okay?”

“We did. We ran into some snow, but it wasn’t too bad.” There was a pause, then I heard her yawn. “I won’t keep you. I just wanted to let you know we made it.”

“Thank you for letting me know. I’m glad you got there safely and I hope you guys have fun this weekend. Try not to get too crazy.”

“No promises, Fi.” 

I laughed. “Alright. Go get some sleep, Mom. I love you.”

“I love you, too, sweetie. Goodnight.” 

We hung up and I put my phone back on the coffee table. 

“She made it to their hotel?” Marshall asked. 

“Yeah. I didn’t realize they’d been gone that long.”

He looked at his watch, then raised his eyebrows. “I didn’t, either. It’s nearly midnight.” He rubbed his hand up and down my back. “I should probably go and let you sleep.”

I didn’t want him to leave, but I knew he must have been tired. He’d worked that day, then spent all evening taking care of me. I couldn’t ask him to stay any longer. 

“Okay,” I said. 

He helped me tidy up the living room, throwing away the trash from dinner and cleaning up the few dishes we’d dirtied. I walked him to the door. He gave me a hug and a kiss and I tried not to linger with either, not wanting him to see how reluctant I was to let him go. But he must have seen it or sensed it because as he was about to leave, he paused and turned back to look at me. 

“You know, if you’re nervous about being here alone, I could stay with you,” he said. “I could sleep down here, on the couch, if you want.”

“I couldn’t ask you to sleep on the couch.”

“You’re not; I’m offering.”

I chewed my lip and looked down at my feet. “I could...I could ask you to sleep somewhere else, though,” I said quietly.

I watched his feet turn as he walked back to me. His hand gently lifted my face to look at him. “Do you want me to stay tonight, love?”

I nodded. “Please.”

He stroked my jaw softly with his fingers. His blue eyes were the softest I’d ever seen them. “All you ever have to do is ask.”

“Will you stay with me, Walter?”

“Yes.” 

We locked up, then he followed me upstairs. I gave him the pair of sweatpants he’d loaned me when I’d painted Faye’s furniture because he was worried I’d ruin my jeans. I’d washed them, intending to return them on our next date. He changed into them while I was getting the pillows from the guest room. I watched him from the corner of my eye as I arranged the bed so we could share it, trying not to be shallow and stare as he pulled off his sweater, his T-shirt going with it. It was difficult. I knew he was muscular, even his sweaters couldn’t hide that, but seeing him for the first time took my breath away. He was so big and broad and manly. I’d never dated anyone that had even remotely come close to looking the same. 

I got into bed and lay on my side. Marshall turned off the light, then joined me. He put his phone on the nightstand, then lay facing me. Even in the dark, he was beautiful. 

“Thank you for this,” I said. 

“You’re welcome, my love.”

“Would you mind holding me? Just until I fall asleep?”

“Of course.” 

I rolled onto my other side and he wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me to him, his chest pressed against my back. I rested my arm on top of his, my fingers threading down through his. He nosed the back of my neck, then kissed it, before resting his head behind mine. 

“I love how warm you are,” I said, my eyes closing. “You’re like a big, strong blanket.”

“A hairy one at that.”

I laughed. “Yes, but I love that, too. Have you ever seen a shaved bear? They’re terrifying.”

It was his turn to laugh. It shook my whole body as he did. “What?” 

“Have you never seen the picture of the shaved bear?”

“No. But what does that have to do with me, anyway?”

“You’re my bear.” 

“Am I?” he asked. I nodded. “Does that mean I can’t ever shave my beard?”

I hummed sleepily. “I don’t know. I do really like it. I like all of your hair, though. Especially your curls.”

“Do you?”

“Yes. I always want to play with them. They’re soft.”

“You’re more than welcome to play with them anytime you want, then.”

“You’re so sweet.”

“And you get very complimentary when you’re tired,” he remarked, humor in his voice. 

“Well, you deserve all the compliments.” 

“Do I now?” 

“Yes.” I yawned. “You’re my favorite person, you know? And you make me feel safe. Always,” I said. “Not that I feel unsafe without you, I just… I don’t know. You make me feel protected anytime I’m around you.” I let out a breath. “Especially right now.”

He tightened his arm around me, pulling me closer. “You are always safe with me, love,” he said softly. 

I melted further into his embrace. I could feel myself starting to drift off to sleep. The weight of his arm around me, the heat of him pressed against my back, it all felt so comforting, I couldn’t stay awake. 

As I fell asleep, the last thought I had was that I was without a doubt falling in love with Walter Marshall. 

A few hours later, I woke with a start. A phone was ringing and my first thought was that it was Mom. I sat up, groping in the dark for my phone. My worry turned to confusion when I realized it wasn’t my phone ringing. A moment later, the ringing stopped.

“Yeah, Marshall,” Walter answered the call, his voice deep and raspy from sleep. There was a pause and he let out a breath. “Okay, yeah, I’ll be there in thirty.” He hung up, putting his phone back on the nightstand, and sat up beside me. He put his hand on my back. “Are you okay?”

I nodded. “I thought it was Mom. It scared me for a second.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine.” I took a deep breath, reaching out to touch him, my hand landing on his knee. “You have to go?”

“Yeah. There was a shooting.” He rubbed my back softly. “Will you be able to go back to sleep?”

“I think so,” I said. “Do you want me to make you coffee while you get dressed? I have a thermos I can put it in.”

He shook his head. “No, don’t worry about me. Just go back to sleep. I’ll lock up behind me. Okay?”

“Okay.”

He moved his hand from my back up to the back of my head and cradled it as he kissed me before getting out of bed. I watched him as my eyes adjusted to the dark. He went to the chair where he’d put his clothes and swapped his sweatpants for his jeans. His black boxer briefs gave me my first glimpse of his muscular thighs with nothing hiding them, before covering them again. He pulled on his shirt and sweater, then sat long enough to put on his boots. He came back to the bed, putting his phone in his pocket, then came around to my side.

“I’m sorry I can’t stay,” he said, sitting beside me.

I shook my head at him. “Don’t be. It means a lot that you stayed as long as you did.”

He cupped my face in his hand. I leaned into it. He stroked my cheek. “I’ll call you later and check in on you, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He pressed a kiss to my forehead, then my nose, then my lips. “Lay down,” he whispered. “I’ll tuck you in.” I lay back down and he pulled the covers up around me, tucking them around me. He bent and gave me another kiss to my temple. “Goodnight, Fi.”

I had to fight every urge that wanted me to hold on to him and ask him to stay. “Be careful, Walt.”

He smiled at me. “Always, love.”

He left and I’d never felt so alone. The bed was cold and I missed him. I grabbed the pillow he’d been sleeping on and hugged it to me. It smelled like him. With that scent still there, I felt my body relaxing, and soon I fell back to sleep.

[oboevallis]

the diary pt 2

it’s been a hot minute, especially for this series, sorry about that, i hope everyone’s doing well and staying safe!

part 1

TW: DEPRESSION, HOPELESSNESS, SH SCARS

please reach out, my dms are open

“You don’t need to follow me around. I’m not gonna throw myself out the window.” Addie rolled her eyes at her mother as she entered her bedroom for the first time in a week.

“I know,” Amelia cringed at her daughter's words, flipping on the light switch. “just helping you get settled in.”

“You’ve been through my room.” The girl bluntly said as she looked around her room.

“We just wanted you to come home to a clean and organized space.” Amelia defended; while her daughter was at the hospital, she spent most of the time in this room, beating herself up for not realizing what her daughter was going through. Unsure of what to do with her nervous energy, she cleaned up the empty bottles and dirty dishes, then washed the pile of dirty clothes, and organized the accumulation of stuff on the floor.

“Well, I liked it how it was.”

“Babe, come on. It was practically unlivable.”

“Wow, look at that.” Addie pointed to the desk that she hadn’t been able to see in months. “You took away my scissors; I can’t even be trusted with a fucking pair of scissors.”

“Addie..” Amelia sighed, trying to pull herself together.

“Get out! Just get out.” The girl sobbed, launching herself on her bed.

“Amelia, are you okay?” Link had been standing outside the door listening to the exchange when his wife made her way out of the room.

“Do I look okay?”

“This is gonna take time. She’s not going to be cured overnight. Recovery is a long process.”

“I know.” The woman nodded as tears stung in her eyes. “I just want to go back to when she was happy and so full of life.”

“Me too.” Link sighed, pulling his wife into a hug. “Me too.”

________________________________________

“Hey champ, we’re all gonna watch a movie. Why don’t you come down? We’re gonna have popcorn; it’s going to be extra buttery.” Link stuck his head through his daughter's door, energetically tapping his fingers on the door frame.

“No thanks,” Addie grumbled, throwing and catching a rubber band ball against her ceiling.

“Come on, it’s gonna be awful, and we’re gonna make fun of it the whole time.” The father tried to persuade, knowing it was one of the things that got his daughter laughing till she hurt.

“No thanks.”

“Do you wanna talk?” Link stepped further into the room and sat at the foot of his daughter's bed.

“No thanks.”

“Champ, you can’t keep everything bottled up.”

“I don’t want to fucking talk! I’m done talking; why can’t everyone just leave me the hell alone?” Addison jumped up from her bed and opened the door for her father. He internally cringed. It was the first time he saw the scars on her legs. Reluctantly he got up and left the room, trying to keep himself together.

“Addie isn’t gonna watch with us?” Anders sighed; he was walking out of his bedroom as he heard the yelling.

“She just needs a little time.” Link mustered up a smile. “She’ll be back to laughing with us in no time. Now let’s go down and watch something with the others.”

“No luck, huh?” The mother turned around on the couch to see the pair walking down the stairs together.

“It’s her first night back; she just needs to readjust.” The optimistic side of Link shone through.

“Why is she still acting like this? She’s being a complete bitch, yelling at everyone. Wasn’t the whole point of the hospital to make her feel better?” Scout asked as the others settled down into the couch.

“First off, don’t call your sister a bitch. But the hospital visit wasn’t to cure her; it was to stabilize her enough to come home.” The mother explained to her other children.

“Well, when will she be cured?” The youngest Shepherd-Lincoln asked, making his two parents feel like they were just stabbed in the heart.

“It’s something that she’ll always have, but eventually, she’ll feel better and learn how to live with it and still be healthy and happy.” Link explained, stepping in for his wife, who was on the verge of tears. “Now, how about we degrade actors and special effects for our amusement?”

________________________________________

Amelia gently knocked on her daughter’s door, and once she heard a mumble of approval, she let herself in.

“Wow, you’ve already finished that book?” She pointed to the one on the floor that was tossed aside, indicating it had been read. “That was like 800 pages, and you just started it; I’ve gotta say I’m impressed.”

“What do you want?”

“You’ve gotta take your pill.” She placed the pill that was in her hand onto her daughter's nightstand next to the bottle of water.

“Why? It’s not like it’s helping.”

“It takes a while, but if you feel it’s still not helping, we can try something else.” Amelia watched as her daughter took the pill and laid back into bed. “If you need anything, you know where I am.” As she was about to close the door, she could barely make out what her daughter had said as it was so quiet. “What did you say, sweetheart?”

“Can you come to lay with me?” She spoke a little louder. She was causing the woman to smile for the first in days genuinely. She got into her daughter’s bed and was shocked when she was engulfed in a hug. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Don’t ever apologize; this isn’t your fault. It’s going to get better, I promise.”

“You think?”

“It will. I’m going to be here, and your dad, and your brothers. We’re here for you. Life gets so much better, I promise, you’re going to look back and see how strong you were and how worth it, it is to be alive.”

“It doesn’t feel that way. Why can’t we just all die and get it over with? It’s gonna happen anyway.”

“You’re right. We’re all going to die, but I think that’s what makes life so valuable.” Addie had a confused expression on her face as she waited for her mother to elaborate. “It’s a one in a million chance that we’re all here, and all together. And we get to experience the beauty and pain with them. Then you get to look back and see all the progress you made because you fought, and you’ll remember the memories with those people and how much it impacted you and allowed you to grow into the person you fought to become. Life is so worth living.”

“You promise?” The innocent voice sent Amelia back to when her daughter was little, and they were making a mundane promise to one another. There was significant weight to this promise, one she wasn’t sure she’d be able to keep.

“I do, I promise.” Amelia finally concluded, twirling of loose strand of her daughter's hair. “It’s not always going to feel worth it, but I promise it is if you just stick around. I don’t think you realize how many people need you, even the people you haven’t met yet.”

“I love you, mom,” Addie whispered, burrowing herself further into her mother.

“Not as much as I love you.” Amelia was met with tears of relief, worry, and hurt, allowing them to fall as she tightly embraced her daughter silently.

________________________________________

“Morning.” Link smiled, stopping at his daughter’s door. “I was gonna go for a run; wanna join me?”

“I’ll walk with you.” Addie compromised.

“Sounds nice.” Link tried to contain his excitement. This was the most normal he felt with his daughter since he could remember. Addison slowly maneuvered herself out of bed and lethargically put her shoes on.

“Where are we walking to?”

“Donut shop?” Link suggested, causing his daughter to smile, signifying to him it was a plan. The two set a slow but steady pace and enjoyed the quiet of the morning. “Did you know I struggled with depression when I was a kid?”

“No, I didn’t.” This information shocked her; he was the most optimistic person she knew. Before this conversation, she highly doubted he had ever been sad before.

“It got really bad when my parents split, and I couldn’t get out of bed for the better part of a year. Everything felt worthless, I felt like a burden to everyone, and everyone would be better without me. Then I went to cancer camp, and I met this kid, he was sicker than I was, but all he wanted to do was play video games and focus on the good stuff. It’s not like that cured my depression or anything, but it helped, realizing there was good in the world, and I was lucky enough to see it if I just fought. Not the cancer but my own mind.”

“But it’s just, it’s just so exhausting; how do you do it? Just exist?”

“I found people I wanted to live for, and I found the joy of life through the little things. And I’m so grateful I stuck around because I never would’ve met your mother if I didn’t. Then we never would’ve had the privilege of having you three, which is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Back then, life felt useless, but looking back, it all led me right here, and I’m so glad it did. It wasn’t always pretty, but it was so so so worth it.”

“It was? It was worth it? Even after Scout crashed your new car? And I was sent to a psych ward? And when Anders got sick and almost ruined you and mom?”

“Yeah, all of that was worth living for. Because we overcame it and survived, those things weren’t the end of the world. Scout was okay, and we got another car. You are alive and at home. Anders is healthy, and in the end, it strengthened your mother and I’s marriage. It’s going to take a while, but I know you're going to get to a point in your life and are going to be so grateful you didn’t miss it.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.” The girl’s father smiled, holding the door of the donut shop open for his daughter. Watching her walking in and feeling a sense of relief wash over him. It was going to be okay.

[livingmybestfictionallife]

A Cobra’s Eros | 2

2. "It's a stick shift, you know." "Hardly my first."

Chapter Summary: Althea makes the acquaintance of a drunk man she knows only as ‘Johnny’ by stealing his car keys and insisting she keep him from killing himself. The pair find themselves together on the beach late at night and Althea decides it’s time to be selfish for once in her life per Johnny’s advice. See warnings below.

Warnings: Alcohol use, cursing, NSFW content towards the end. Don’t read if under 18 or if it makes you uncomfortable--you will be able to see things heating up. You won’t miss anything in terms of plot other than (SPOILERS) Johnny’s insecurities about his age and the fact that Althea and Johnny hook up.

A sigh of relief escaped Althea's lips as she glanced down at her phone to see her brother decided to get dinner with a friend. She was glad Demetri was responsible enough to send her the address of his friend's home, as well as their parent's phone number, but shame continued to swell within her as she sipped from her vodka-Sprite. Within ten minutes of her arriving at her mother's side, a nurse came in to administer pain medication and informed Althea that it was not suggested she stay given the possible negative side-effects of the medication.

Althea had always done everything in her life by the book, and in spite of doing everything 'the right way' life's cruel and unfair nature had crawled under her skin and attacked her heart. Without a second thought, Thea ordered a Lyft, placed herself in the back of a stranger's car, and made her way to the one place she could think of where it was acceptable to be this emotionally low in public: a hole in the wall, dive bar. She let the liquor burn against the walls of her throat and remained motionless as the bubbles from the carbonation in the drink scratched on the way down. Slowly, her vision began to blur again as her eyes filled with tears, but she blinked them away before anyone could notice her pain. With another long gulp of her drink, Althea tried to numb her heart and mind from the world.

The bell above the door jingled to signal another patron had entered, but Thea remained focused on how cold her fingertips were when she touched the part of her glass that contained ice. She was content to feel anything at that moment, even if it was the bitter cold bite of ice against her skin. She could hear the bartender mutter obscenities under his breath as his eyes gazed over the individual that had just entered the bar, and Thea furrowed her eyebrows as she looked up at the mirror before her. Despite the dim lights that lit the bar, she could see the reflection of the room, and tried to focus her attention on the individual the bartender was complaining about. Although she was uncertain of the culprit, she figured it would be safe to assume that the blonde man that staggered and swayed through the room on his way towards the bar was the cause of the bartender's frustrations.

It appeared to Althea that the man had been drinking heavily before he arrived, so she flattened her back and extended her elbows to the side in order to appear as if she was taking up more room than she was. Her efforts of keeping the stumbling drunk man away from her failed when he dropped against the stool beside her, pointed to a bottle of Jack Daniels, and slurred, "I'll take a fifth." The man struggled to enunciate the last word, which led to a slur of 'f' and 'th' sounds coming from his mouth in random intervals.

"I'm not sure if I can legally serve you," the bartender sighed as he looked over the man's disheveled appearance. Thea too examined the man from out of the corner of her eye: his shoes were untied, his shirt stained with what appeared to be blood, and she assumed it was the same blood that seeped through the poor excuse for a bandage that was wrapped around the man's right fist. His face looked tired and worn, and his blonde hair was shoved in different directions, but what stood out most to Thea was the small pools that collected in his weary, light blue eyes.

"Just give me the bottle, man," the man beside Althea slurred as he slammed his injured hand down on the bar in a fury. It was clear to Thea that the anger in the man's voice and movements masked the pain that caused those small, almost unrecognizable tears to form. Had she not been in that same state of anguish and anticipation of grief, she would have overlooked his watery eyes, but having fought against her own tears all damn day, Althea could see his pain. With a huff of aggravation in his tone, the bartender turned, grabbed the bottle, and handed it to the intoxicated individual only for the man to stand up and stagger away with the bottle draped down to his side.

"What the hell?" the bartender yelled out across the room as he watched the blonde walk away. Onlookers and bystanders turned their heads from the person who had shouted to the man who currently held a middle finger over his head as he slowly made his way from the bar. "Piece of shit," the bartender continued to grumble as he reached for the phone to call the police. Curiously, Althea's eyes remained on the stranger as he paced away, and she would have let him leave had she not notice him reach into his pocket for his keys. In a rush, she placed two twenty-dollar bills along with a ten down on the counter, and told the angry man behind the bar to keep whatever change was left before she finished off her drink and followed the stranger into the parking lot.

The blonde man staggered, stumbled, and drug his feet as he tried to figure out where he parked his car. With his equilibrium off, the top half of his body swung and swayed around in a desperate attempt to stay above the bottom half despite not knowing where the bottom half was going. In this attempt to stay standing, his shoulder collided with that of another, much bigger man than himself, which sent him spinning, only to be forced backwards into the chest of another burly biker. Althea had just exited the bar to see three men well over six-feet tall and weighing more than two-hundred pounds apiece form a circle around the man she had followed out of the bar. She was too far away to hear the brute grunts of words as the men began to antagonize the outnumbered individual, nor with slurred comments being spout in return, but she could see their mouths moving in a violent and angry manner. Before she could make her way any closer to the scene unfolding before her, Althea watched as the blonde man with a bottle of Jack took a fierce, collected swing towards one of the biker's faces. She could hear the collision of knuckles cracking against a mandible and wrapped a protective hand around her dominant hand as if she felt the pain absorbed by the blow. For a moment, it seemed as if things would remain stagnant, but Althea had been a witness to too many fights to know that after being struck, it's instinct to strike back.

The man who received the blow immediately clutched his jaw in his hands, and his two friends each took hold of his attacker. Althea tried to walk faster as she watched the man deliver blow after blow to the already bloodied man, but there was a slight fear within her that told her this wasn't her fight. There was no reason for her to be there, to intercede and help this man. In all reality, she couldn't do much to stop what was happening, but she knew could do more here than she could with her mother. Her mother's cancer wasn't her fight and that fact had been gnawing a hole in Althea's heart since her mother first got sick. She couldn't take the treatment for her mom, she couldn't diffuse the situation or negotiate the cancer away, she couldn't do anything but sit and watch as her mother's pain grew each day. With the man before her, she could jump between him and someone else, and at least if she got hit she would feel something.

Althea's walk turned into a jog and she quickly grew close enough to hear the conversation the men were having in between hits. She watched as the leather-vested men holding onto the blonde man each kicked the back of his legs and forced him to his knees. In a quick and violent motion, the main culprit grabbed a fistful of the blonde man's hair from the back of his head and pulled back so that the lights shone on his face and he was forced to look up at his attackers.

"It's messed up that back in high school we used to be afraid of you, with your Kung Fu fighting and your little posse. Where's all that power now?"

"You're nothing but a waste! You made fun of us in school for being losers; well take a long look in the mirror, bud!"

"You're fucking worthless!"

Althea narrowed her eyes as she noticed the a fist being raised above the man attacker's head and a figured a hard blow to the face would soon make contact if she didn't put an end to their ruthlessness. Quickly, she asserted herself between the pair, and sent her foot flying into the attacker's groin. As the man doubled over in pain, she grasped him by the back of his head and pulled his head downward as her knee soared up and made contact with his nose. Almost immediately she regretted her decision as she felt the ache in her joint, but the man was too stunned to notice her pain.

"What the hell, bitch?!"

"Back off," Althea growled as she stared the man down. She hadn't thought through what to do if the other two came after her, and she regretted not having a solid plan before breaking the man's nose on her kneecap.

"He's an asshole and a worthless piece of shit! He'll always be those things, so why don't you take your pretty ass somewhere else and let us finish what we started." The man's voice was deeper than it had been before, as if he was trying to intimidate her with a sultry tone, but Thea took a solid step towards the man before her now with her eyes narrowed upon his gaze.

"From where I'm standing, you're the asshole." Her voice didn't raise above a conversational tone, but it was fierce and sharp, and the man before her pursed his lips for a moment before he waved his hand for his buddies to join him as they wandered away from the scene. With the three men in leather biker vests pacing away from her, Althea turned on her heel and knelt over to offer the man on the ground a hand. With his left hand, he took hold of Althea's arm and used the woman to help him stand up.

Johnny had expected her to fall over the second he tugged his weight against her, but she remained rooted in the concrete. Johnny slung his arm over her shoulder and flinched slightly as he felt her arm rest carefully across his back. He hadn't seen who had stepped between him and that dick from his high school, and he didn't know what was done to get them to leave him alone, but the second he heard a woman's voice calling out from above him, his heart sank even lower than where it had been sitting all day. A woman had to step in and defend me...a fucking woman. Women were the ones meant to be protected, not the ones meant to do the protecting. Sure, he had learned otherwise since then—some of his most talented and devoted students were girls—but he never anticipated a woman having to keep him safe.

"Are you okay?" her voice called out again as she followed his footsteps, acting only as a means of support as he paced towards his car.

"I didn't need you to jump in," he grumbled as he pulled his arm from off her shoulders and attempted to stand up straight on his own.

"I could see you had the whole thing under control," the woman beside him sighed with sarcasm dripping all too obviously from her tone. With a huff in his voice, Johnny jingled his key ring around his fingers in order to try and find the key to his car as he neared his vehicle. Before he can even stretch out his arm to unlock the door, the woman had jumped in front of him yet again, this time however, he couldn't help but look. She was tall for a woman, and stood maybe five inches shorter than he did. Her dark hair framed her fair face and almost made her look even paler than she was, which gave him the impression of a dainty waif of a woman. His eyes traveled across her face first, taking in her sharp, determined eyes that had to have been one of the most stunning sights he'd ever seen; accented by long dark lashes, her light eyes twinkled under the lights of the parking lot like an icy moon, and he knew he had to look anywhere other than those eyes, lest they hold him prisoner. Upon further examination of the woman before him, Johnny realized she was anything but dainty; she had an athletic build with beautiful curves which his intoxicated mind had become lost in as he quickly looked over her hips and chest before his eyes traveled back up to meet her eyes.

"What do you think you're doing?" Johnny's voice came out of his mouth much more aggravated than he intended to sound and he bit down on his lip to keep from cursing himself. Ever since he was young, he found it easier to push people away before they had the chance to throw him out like week old garbage. It was easier to be standoffish and rude than it was to be open to kindness, especially when his experience with kindness was always manipulated for someone else's favor.

"You're going to kill yourself if I let you get in this car," Althea stubbornly said as she leaned her butt against the driver's door and remained a barrier to this man.

"Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing," Johnny snapped in return as he took a step forward to insert the key into the keyhole to unlock the car. Althea refused to move during this process, making it difficult for Johnny to turn the key without grazing the woman's hip and damn near impossible for him to open the door without her falling into him. The moment he pulled his hand back from unlocking the door, Althea grabbed the keys from the man's hand and let them fall gently in her own hand as her fingers twirled around the key ring. "What the hell? I've had a shitty fucking day! Just let me drive my damn car!" Johnny hated that he was screaming at this woman who was doing everything she could to keep him from wrapping his car around a pole, he hated that on some, if not any level, he was the same bitter, angry person Kreese had molded him to be.

"You're not the only person who's had a shitty day!" Althea hissed back at the man as she finally brought herself to look him in the eyes since they'd been speaking. "And I'm not going to let you kill yourself because you're too damn stubborn to call a cab or let someone else drive." The man's hooded eyes were swollen from trying to hold back tears and bloodshot from failing to do so. Althea couldn't stop herself from examining the man's physique. He wore a faded charcoal heather-grey t-shirt with a flannel wrapped tightly across his back with the sleeves stretching over his biceps and rolled up to his elbows to reveal his strong, muscular forearms. His jeans seemed old, but they still hugged his thighs in a flattering way, and Althea had to pull herself from her subconscious, knee-jerk wish for him to turn so she could see what his ass looked like. Suddenly, she remembered the tears she'd seen in his eyes at the bar and she took a deep breath. "Let me just drive you somewhere—anywhere—and we can share that bottle of Jack. It's the least you can do for me since I bought it." After watching the man purse his lips and consider her offer, Althea welcomed the gentle nod that came from the man as he took a few relenting steps toward the passenger side of the car.

"It's a stick shift, you know," Johnny muttered as he dropped into the seat and pulled the door shut behind him. As the engine roared to life, Althea pushed on the clutch and put the car into first gear.

"Hardly my first," she said with an ambitiously curt wink at the man beside her before she pulled out of the parking lot and into the street. A cocky smirk fell over Johnny's face as he replayed her words in his head, but he didn't have much time to laugh about it with himself before he had to spout off directions. As he raised his arm to point at the street she needed to turn on, Johnny noticed his stomach had already begun bruising from the beating he took and immediately wanted to be distracted.

"So, do you have a name?" Johnny felt like a dumbass the second the words left his mouth. What the shit? Of course she has a name. You sound like a damn clueless virgin asking 'do you have name?'

"Althea," the woman responded in a gentle tone before inquiring the same, "and you?"

"Johnny." Silence again engulfed the car only to be interrupted with him intermittently giving directions. With uncertainty in his voice, Johnny spoke again. "Um, do you—"

"We don't have to say anything to one another, Johnny," Althea said softly as she made the turn he had instructed her to.

"You'd rather sit in silence?" he huffed with a slight agitation in his voice.

"Some time in 1896, this Italian guy made a pretty great invention called a radio, and in 1920, it became a more widespread concept and was broadcasting globally," Althea said in a snarky tone that made Johnny's eyebrows furrow as he gazed at her.

"That was a really round about way to say you want to listen to music," he muttered as he jammed his index finger into the power button of the car's stereo. The unmistakable chorus to Scorpions' Rock You Like A Hurricane came blasting through the speakers so loudly it initially took Johnny by surprise. Quickly, he reached for the volume, only to have Althea's hand reach up and stop him. Her fingers were thin and soft compared to his, but he could still feel the remnants of callouses along the base of her fingers on the inside of her hand. Althea wasn't expecting to gently squeeze Johnny's hand in hers as she kept him from changing the volume or the station, but once her skin grazed his, her hand seemed to go limp under his touch.

"Don't change it! I love this song," she said and then released Johnny's hand from her own.

"Really? You know who this is?" People who lived in the eighties still had their qualms about listening to eighties music nowadays. He didn't understand why people thought the hair metal bands of his adolescence were overrated or shitty, but it drove him up the fucking wall. He didn't expect the woman beside him to be interested in the Scorpions, partially because his girlfriend back in high school couldn't stand them, and partially because of the fact that Althea was much younger than he was. Her skin was still tight across her body, her eyes didn't have visibly noticeable bags hanging from them or crows-feet peering from the corners, her lips were full and without frown or laugh lines, and her hands were free from the crevice's of aging he'd gained over the years. Sitting beside her youth and beauty, Johnny became all too familiar with his age.

"Of course! Love at First Sting is one of my favorite Scorpion albums," Althea said as she tapped her fingers against the steering wheel to the beat of the drums.

"No kidding," Johnny sighed as he listened intently just incase he could hear her singing beneath the volume of the song. "So how do you feel about Warrant?"

"They're okay. They don't rank as highly on my all-time favorites as other bands though," Thea said as she looked over to the man sitting beside her, jealous that he had the opportunity to see all of these amazing bands she grew up loving at the beginning of their journeys.

"You've got my attention," he muttered with a smirk as he tried to keep his eyes from drifting too deeply into hers. "Top five bands from the eighties, go."

"Top five? How can I narrow it down that quickly?" Thea laughed as the music flowed through her ears; meanwhile her laugh tickled his more than the music ever had.

"Easy: Ratt, AC/DC, Aerosmith, Metallica, Speedwagon." A curious smile formed over Johnny's face as he watched Althea nod along in agreeance of each band he added to his favorites list.

"Those are good, but I would definitely have to go with Mötley Crüe, Ozzy Osbourne, Metallica, Pantera, and AC/DC," Althea said as she carefully chose each band on her limited list of favorites.

"Bullshit! Pantera doesn't count," he called out as Althea brought the vehicle to a stop in a parking lot by a semi-enclosed portion of a beach.

"They formed in '81!" she protested passionately against Johnny's comment.

"But their biggest hits came from the nineties! That doesn't make them an eighties band." Althea opened her mouth to scoff at Johnny's comment and turned in her seat to face him.

"I left Nirvana off the list for this exact reason!"

"Nirvana wasn't a thing until well into the nineties," Johnny countered as he adjusted his position to better argue with the woman beside him.

"Nirvana was formed in 1987, technically making them a band from the eighties—"

"You're stretching for that one, Althea," Johnny chuckled. As the corners of his mouth tugged up into a grin, Althea smiled at the sight of his laugh lines as they stretched over his face in momentary joy.

"That's why I didn't include it, so you can at least give me Pantera since I'm allowing REO Speedwagon!"

"What's wrong with Speedwagon?" Johnny scoffed as he noticed Althea's hands becoming more and more fidgety as they sat in the car without purpose. Instinctually, he reached for the door handle and pulled himself from the vehicle with her following suit to continue the conversation.

"They were formed in '67, therefore, they're not technically an eighties band," she said with a smirk as she pulled her arms tight over her body and shivered slightly as the night air of Los Angeles carried a lightly chilly breeze.

"Fine, you can keep Pantera and I'll keep Speedwagon," Johnny chuckled as walked alongside Althea until they found a secluded portion of the beach and lowered themselves into the sand. Being trained in karate meant he was able to perceive even the slightest of movements in his opponent, so Johnny quickly noticed Althea's slight shivering and shed his flannel from his torso. With one of his arms extended around Althea's back holding up the shirt, and the other held on the side of her body he sat next to, she slid her arms through the sleeves and sighed a soft 'thank you' into the night.

There was a familiar tug in Johnny's chest, the one that convinced him to ask Ali Mills out all those years ago, the one that convinced him to open Cobra Kai, the one that told him to strike first, and with ever fiber of his being, he wanted to. He wanted to lose himself in the woman beside him, to forget about his worries and just worry about pleasing her for a moment so he could keep his mind from the bad he'd convinced himself he'd done—not to himself, but to Miguel and Robbie, and all the kids from his dojo that were going to become pawns in Kreese's sociopathic understanding of karate. He wanted to get lost in someone else rather than himself, but something he hadn't experienced in a long time kept him from making a move. In the back of his mind and the bottom of his heart, Johnny felt the pangs of rejection and inferiority.

Before Cobra Kai he'd known these feelings all too well; between his neglecting step-father and being bullied at school for being a loner without friends, Johnny knew what it felt like to not be wanted, to not feel good enough for someone to want to have around. The younger woman beside him could do better than a divorced, border-line alcoholic, small business owner with an eighteen-year-old son that hated him and a kid he'd come to love as his own that he blamed himself for being in the hospital right now without knowing if he will survive. She was beautiful and vibrant with an entire life before her; he was old and withering—his glory days were long behind him and trying to relive them as a sensei was a mistake that had begun to kill him. For once he'd met a woman too far out of his league that he was too cowardly to even take a swing, and the thought of her laughing at him or slapping him for making a move would be too much to add onto his existing stressors.

"Why don't we start in on this," Althea suggested as she unscrewed the cap from the Jack Daniels bottle and took a quick swig. She needed an escape from the endless circular reasoning and downward spiral that her mind had become. She thought that being just shy of thirty meant having a solid portion of her life figured out, or at least enough figured out to have a five-year plan, but with the twists and turns her mother's condition was taking, Althea couldn't even seem to develop a six-month plan for herself. The doctors still weren't certain on the current state of her mother's condition, and the only thing they could tell her was that the cancer was back and aggressive. There was no estimated time left, no plan for treatment other than chemo for now, and no telling if this was something she could bounce back from like before, but Althea knew deep in her bones that her mother had given up. She didn't want to face the reality that in a matter of days or weeks she could be calling her employers to say she would be moving back to Los Angeles to assume guardianship over her brother and begging them to keep her on as a remote employee. She didn't want to face the fact that she would have to find a way to deal with planning and paying for a funeral, looking through her mother's assets, combing through her will, and all of the other unpleasantries that people don't let you know about when a family member dies. She didn't even know how to talk to Demetri about what he wanted through all of this. Did he want to stay living in their parents' home without their parents' presence? Would that be too painful? Would it be comforting? He was so young when their father died, would losing his mother now be more devastating? As all of the questions came sprinting back to Althea's head, she quickly took the bottle of Jack from Johnny's hands, which forced him to spill a splash on the sand, and drank about three shots worth before reluctantly handing it back to the man beside her.

"Shit," Johnny muttered as he brought his attention from the shoreline to Althea. His shirt fell nicely over her body and made her look even more like a punk-rocker than her general appearance portrayed her as, and he had to admit it looked good on her, but his face fell and his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to get a read on her expressions. "You good?" It was a quick and emotionless question that received a nod and then a long exhale from her tight, apprehensive lungs. "You sure?" Johnny asked again after he took another swig from the bottle and then placed it between the two of them.

"I'm fine," Althea muttered helplessly as she watched the water slowly inch its way up the beach with each rolling wave as high-tide approached. "I'm not the type to burden others with my issues." Johnny exhaled deeply as he leaned backwards, propped himself up on his elbows, and gazed out at the water.

"I'm not a good listener, but if you need to bitch about life, I can bitch about it with you," he said as he watched the woman who seemed much smaller than him take another long drink from the whisky.

"It fucking sucks, doesn't it?" Althea let the words escape in anger as she picked up a rock that rested beside her and threw it as far as she could towards the water. "You try to do what you think is right—what the world makes you believe is something you should do—and the reward is what? Your life is never truly your own! You're constantly having to deal with other people's shit, other people's issues, all of the baggage that comes with being a person with other people relying on you."

"It's so much easier not having to deal with other people or developing relationships. Stick to yourself and you don't get hurt." He said the last sentence as if he were repeating a personal manifesto--one that Althea found herself jealous of.

"I wish it was that simple. I wish I didn't have to take care of anyone else and that I got to be alone and on my own for once, and I know that's a selfish and bitchy thing to wish, but I'm struggling to figure out what the fuck I'm supposed to do," Althea sighed as she pulled her knees up, rested her elbows against them, and ran her fingers through her hair in frustration.

"What, are you pregnant or something?" Johnny asked as he grabbed the bottle of Jack instinctively just incase his assumption was correct. When he saw Althea's head shake dismissively back and forth, he placed the bottle back down after he took another drink from it.

"It's just family stuff," she tried to dismiss his inquisition and brought the bottle to her lips again. The glass lip of the whisky bottle tasted faintly of the beer Johnny had been drinking and something else, a flavor she found intoxicating but couldn't place for the life of her.

"Fighting with your husband?" Johnny asked as he took the bottle from Althea's hands and brought it to his mouth again. Hidden faintly by the burn of the liquor, he could taste the sweet notes of coconut that he assumed came from whatever balm or Chapstick that caused Althea's lips to shimmer so seductively.

"Is that your subtle way of asking if I'm married?" she returned in the same dry and emotionless tone Johnny had used to ask his question. After watching him pretend not to know what she was talking about, Althea smirked. His cocky smile was something she'd overlooked as arrogant rather than coy and playful, and she found herself getting lost in the grooves of his lips and cheeks as he flashed an intoxicated grin at her in the darkness. "No, no husband," Althea sighed as she felt her desperation begin to get the best of her. She didn't have any friends in Palo Alto to talk about her issues with, she couldn't burden her mom with her concerns, and she refused to make Demetri feel like his existence was a burden to her, so she kept everything bottled inside...until she looked into those peering, weary, needy blue eyes before her. "My mom is losing a battle I can't fight for her and soon I'll be the only person left in my family to take care of my little brother." Johnny bit his lip and sighed empathetically as he leaned in towards Althea and pressed the bottle to her lips for her. She tilted her head back and allowed him to dump whatever amount of whisky he planned to down her throat, but was thankful he only gave he a small swig.

"Was your father a dick like mine and take off on your mom?" Johnny asked bitterly as he brought the bottle to his lips, mostly just to taste the coconut he knew came from hers.

"He was killed by a drunk driver nine years ago," Althea muttered into the cool air around her and Johnny immediately felt like an asshole for his comment.

"I'm sorry, Althea, I didn't mean to insult him," Johnny said as he tried to extend his hand to apologetically rest on her arm, but lost his balance and ended up pressing his shoulder against hers. Unexpectedly, he felt Althea gently lean into him, so he extended his arm out behind her back to keep them both from falling over due to their intoxication.

"You didn't," she sighed as she clumsily reached across Johnny for the bottle of whisky that sat in the sand on the opposite side of Johnny's body. "Sorry about your dad being a piece of shit though," she said in a light, almost distant voice as both Althea and Johnny began to come to terms with their level of intoxication. The bottle had been full a mere ten minutes ago, and now it barely had enough liquid in it to make a sloshing sound when Althea plucked it from where it rested beside Johnny's hip. She was glad to feel the burn of liquor against the walls of her throat, happy to at least have that physical pain to distract her from the emotional pain that had been tearing at her heart for years.

"Dad, stepdad, they were both pieces of shit," Johnny sighed as he balled his hand that rested on the ground into a fist and gripped tightly to the grains of sand between his fingers and in his palm. "It's probably why I'm such a piece of shit." His hands grew tighter and his mind was focused on the tension in his fingers as he continued to pull his hands into tighter and tighter balls of anger.

"You can't be that much of piece of shit," Althea sighed as she leaned off of his shoulder for a moment to gently place her finger tips along his bicep as a way to get him to look at her.

"I'm a shitty father to my own kid who left him and his mom just like my dad did to me, except I didn't do it before he was born; he got to know me—he got to be used to me being there, and then I left," Johnny began his sentence as a mutter, but with each word his voice grew louder until he seemed to be cursing himself.

"Would his life be any better if you stayed with his mom?" Althea asked as she absentmindedly began to trace her thumb along the seam on the sleeve of Johnny's t-shirt.

"She and I hated each other!"

"So, no?" Althea interjected. "So, he would have grown up with hate and anger being the foundation of his life? So even if he's bitter at you now, he at least he doesn't resent you, right? If it means your kid will have a better chance in life, sometimes leaving is what you have to do."

"I never wanted to be my father or my stepfather, and now I'm fucking both," Johnny sighed as he forced the almost empty bottle into the sand between himself and Althea and then shoved his fingers through his fine, blonde hair. "You don't know me, Althea. Everyone who does would tell you exactly what I'm saying: I'm a no good, loser, piece of shit! Those assholes were right foe beating the shit out of me." Hesitant to show weakness, Johnny fought the urge to let any emotion other than anger escape his lips, so he folded his legs over one another, leaned forward, and stared out into the open, desperate to keep his eyes from meeting Althea's.

"If you're as much of a piece of shit as you think, you would have told me to fuck off for trying to make sure you didn't kill yourself, you wouldn't be letting me bitch about my life to you, and you would have called me out for being a selfish bitch." She slurred her words together with strange intervals of silence between certain phrases, but Johnny was also drunk and understood her slurred speech as the native tongue of the alcohol infused.

"You're not a bitch, Althea. I wouldn't have ever said that," Johnny sighed as he turned back to the woman beside him. The sun had begun to set on their drive to the beach, and with every passing second that led to the darkness they both currently sat in, Johnny thought Althea's beauty couldn't be matched as the golden rays of the sun danced over her skin; however, seeing her in the moonlight, he knew this was her purest form of beauty. It was as if her eyes were meant to be stars with the purpose of guiding lost souls to joy, as if her skin was meant to glow like a beacon under the light of the night to bring the wandering home. "You're dealing with a lot and deserve to be afraid of losing the ability to be selfish. All I've ever been was selfish, and it's screwed me so many times."

"All I've ever been is selfless, and now it looks like I'll never have the option of putting what I want first," she said gently as the fingers on her right hand began to trace small patterns in the sand in the sand between her and Johnny's hips.

"You're still so young! You have time to figure things out—"

"I could become a parent to a teenager in a matter of weeks or even hours!" Althea protested, "It's not like I have a lot of time to figure this out!"

"Use the time you have left to take what you want before life starts taking everything from you. Be selfish now!" Johnny's chest heaved as he spoke, and although Althea was partially focused on finishing the rest of the whiskey, she couldn't keep her eyes from him. There was a passion in his words that he expressed with his body, and something about what he told her, or the way he said it, forced all the courage she had pent up in her body to come spouting out. With the bottle still in her left hand, Althea reached up, wrapped her left arm over Johnny's shoulder, and placed his neck in the crook of her elbow before she leaned forward to meet his lips. For some reason she expected them to be rough, but as she placed her lips to his, she felt comforted and welcomed by their soft embrace. Slowly, she tugged against his shirt as she leaned back in an attempt to signal him to follow. Johnny listened to her movements and placed his hands on either side of Althea's shoulders as he leaned over and felt her legs wrap around his waist. He wanted to see how far he could push this, but the same feeling of uncertainty that kept him from striking first was back and left an embarrassing hole in his heart. She doesn't want you. She's just drunk and you're just here. She could have anyone, why would she want you?

Althea's eyes flicked open the second she felt Johnny's lips leave hers and his hands attempt to push her legs off of him. "Shit," she muttered and quickly hid her face. "I misread this, didn't I?"

"You're drunk, Althea; I'm not going to take advantage of you like that." Had the man he had been three years ago heard him just now, he would have punched himself. Getting drunk and finding drunk chicks to hook up with was who he was back then; maybe she was right, maybe he wasn't such a piece of shit. "I don't want to hurt you or have you wake up tomorrow thinking some asshole took advantage of you."

As Althea lay beneath Johnny, her arms stretched out over her head in the sand, her feet now on the ground, and knees positioned on either side of his torso, she took a deep breath and stared up into his baby blue eyes. "I'm not going to pretend like I'm the most sober person in the world right now, but you told me to be selfish—to take what I want before life starts taking things from me, so that's what I did." With a hesitant breath escaping her lungs, she added, "if I crossed a line, I'm sorry, I just thought—"

"Are you sure?" Johnny's voice echoed out over hers as he stared down into those damned eyes of hers.

"Am I sure of what?" she asked with a rather confused look on her face. How could she be any more blatant about her intentions? She told him she wanted him and apologized for crossing a line with him—if anything, in her mind, she was the one taking advantage of someone and should be apologizing.

"Are you sure you want to do this with me?" His voice faltered only for a moment, and he was certain Althea hadn't noticed, but the fact that his voice was getting caught in his throat and he kept second guessing whether or not a woman was into him made Johnny feel like that dorky, nerdy, loser he used to be who didn't believe he was worth anything. Why does it feel like this--like I don't know what I'm doing? Like I'm trying to tell her I'm a mistake?

"Why? You don't have something you haven't disclosed, do you?" Althea asked with an eyebrow raised up at Johnny.

"No!"

"Then why are you asking me if I'm sure about you?" Johnny stared down at her, baffled that she wasn't seeing the clear as day elephant that plagued the room.

"I'm not exactly close to your age," he said in a slow, hesitant manner. He tried to convince himself that surely this time she'd push him away and grumble about some old creep coming on to her, but instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck, her legs around his waist, lifted her body off the ground and pressed it to his.

"If anything, that means you should really know what you're doing," she whispered against his ear and her hot breath against his neck caused his hair to stand on end. Johnny lowered himself to the ground until he felt her breasts press lightly into his chest. He lowered his forehead to hers and lightly pressed his lips against hers. For some reason, he expected the soft, delicate kiss she initiated to be the one he received, but he was met with a passion and lust as Althea's lips crashed against his. He quickly adjusted to her pace and gently grasped her bottom lip with his teeth. Instantly, she began to bite his upper lip, so he slipped his tongue between her teeth and began to explore her mouth. She tasted the same as he expected he did, like Jack Daniels, and it was refreshing. Slowly, he pulled his lips away from hers again, but this time he did so to admire her. His shadow moved away from her face and the moon quickly lit up her eyes and smile. "Are you that worried about the age thing?" she asked as she took a breath. Johnny was sure Althea wasn't trying to be as sultry as she was coming off as, but everything she did was just so enticing.

"You're just so beautiful," he softly said in response to her question before he leaned over and planted a gentle kiss on Althea's lips. Beautiful. The word hung in her mind and his voice repeated it in her head as her hands found their way up his shirt. She hadn't had anyone look into her eyes and tell her she was beautiful, she'd been called sexy and hot, but never beautiful. She'd had guys complain about dating her for so long without her putting out, but never had someone question whether she was sure she wanted to be with them. She'd often be forced to be on top, and was foreign to feeling the weight of a man on top of her. With Johnny laying on top of her, Althea could feel every breath he took, every movement he made, and his weight against her that pressed her into the sand made her feel safe. Even though she was fully clothed, if she were to be sitting on top of him and straddling his hips, she would have felt so exposed and vulnerable. Lying beneath him with his arms on either side of her, she felt protected. Suddenly, she felt Johnny shift his weight off of her and a chilly breeze caught her off guard.

"Hold on a second," he said as he stood up, "I'll be right back." As Johnny hurried back to his car, Althea could hear the steady rhythm of his feet being absorbed into the sand fade as he jogged away, and then crescendo on his return trip. Althea had sat up when he rolled off of her, concerned she had taken it too far again by sliding her hands under his shirt, but a small smile fell over her face when she noticed him return with a large blanket.

"Do you keep that handy for your beach hook ups?" she teased. It didn't matter to her if she wasn't the first woman he'd been with her or anywhere, but Johnny immediately corrected her with a very serious look on his face.

"I work late sometimes and fall asleep in my office, which is always freezing," he responded before he dropped down and resumed his position between Althea's legs. "I noticed you were cold, so I thought it would help," Johnny said as he pulled the blanket around his shoulders and let it drape over him as he leaned over Althea and pressed his body down into hers.

"Sorry about my hands," she said softly as she pulled them away from Johnny and held them against her hips.

"Don't be," he sighed as he gently took her arm and moved her hands back to his stomach. Her hands were freezing to the touch, but Johnny couldn't remember the last time a woman had touched him so selflessly. Even as Althea was trying to be selfish and take what she wanted, she was still so kind, and despite how her hands felt like ice against his skin, she was warm. Johnny cursed himself as he caught himself thinking too much into how he felt. That's not what you do with hook ups, Lawrence, he mentally growled at himself, but as her hands gently grazed his stomach and chest before the found their way to his shoulders, he leaned into her and how he felt being with her. Slowly, he pulled a hand from where it rested by Althea's face and slipped his fingers beneath the hem of her shirt. As much as he wanted to see her body under the light of the moon, he didn't want to strip her down in a place that didn't have the privacy provided by a locking door. His fingers traced against her skin and he could feel small indentions of her abdomen. Fuck me, Johnny thought as he imagined what Althea looked like with abs. Just how athletic is she?

Althea took a deep breath as Johnny's hand found her breast, and she could feel him lightly trace where the lace of her bra met her skin. They're usually done by now, she thought as she remembered the majority of her previous sexual encounters. An ache ripped through Althea's stomach as she felt Johnny's fingers leave her breasts and slowly trace her skin along the hem of her pants. There was an anticipation that rattled her bones and seemed to shake her to her core as he found the button on the inside hem of her dress pants and then tugged the zipper down. Johnny's knuckles grazed the lace on her underwear as Althea shifted her pants slightly lower down her legs, and a lump rose in his throat as he tried to focus on what he was doing. As he gently maneuvered his hand between their bodies and along the lace underwear she wore, Johnny could feel Althea's body lightly shake beneath him and he realized she really did want him.

Johnny's core seized up the second he felt her palm him over his pants, so he shifted his lower body away from her reach and shook his head lightly. "Be selfish," he said softly before he pushed her underwear to the side and slipped two fingers inside of her to wet them. She let out a soft groan the second he entered her and then sighed when he pulled away. Slowly, he leaned over and kissed her again as his index finger swirled around on her clit. It was a slow, agonizing motion that Althea took as him teasing her, but as he continued, she became weaker and weaker to his touch. Slowly, he quickened his pace and altered between pleasing Althea internally and externally, with each sound from her mouth and each expression on her face driving him more and more insane.

Althea tried to be selfish, she tried not to touch Johnny when he was within reach, and so she leaned back and enjoyed what he did to her. She allowed her stomach to tighten and her legs to shake; she allowed herself to be selfish and be the only one that was pleasured, but the thought crossed her mind that she could be selfish with him. With Johnny still hovering slightly above her, Althea unbuttoned his pants, pulled down the zipper, and pulled him from his underwear. He tried to protest, but she had already pushed his hand aside, placed his cock at her entrance, and bucked her hips up so that she was wrapped completely around him without him even having to thrust. There was no arguing with her, she was ready for him and she was taking him.

Next Chapter

[limjaeseven]

Fade Away (8/8)

VERSE 2: PART 8 OF 8

Pairing: Jinyoung X Jaebeom ft Seulgi of Red Velvet

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Word Count: 967

Summary: Jinyoung reads Jaebeom's last words to him after he's gone.

Warning(s): mentions of cancer

[a/n]: This is the end of Verse 2! I’ll add links to the rest of the parts later, I’m just hella tired rn. A huge thank you to @birbdae​ and my friend Terry for proofreading this dumpsterfire.

To Jinyoung,

If you’re reading this it means either you’ve become an expert at sneaking into my room and finding my things, which should be concerning cause there’s a lot of food there; or I’m dead. I can see you cringing from here, Jinyoungie but it’s time you accept it. I had fought the idea a lot when I was young, especially after I met you, that one day I won’t wake up to see your beautiful smile when I reached school. But as I grew older, I realised, there is no point in fighting it, it’s going to happen, it’s just about when.

Where I know already, I just finished booking the tickets for Hokkaido as I write this, yes there were only three of them and I was the one that made sure you didn’t notice that. I’ve had a lot of time to think in the past few years, especially between our two fights and I’ve realised that there was a part of my life that I hid from you that you deserve to know about, so this is my last confession. My thoughts, my experiences, my life, put in this journal that my mom gave to me for my birthday this year. I think she also knew I wouldn’t last long.

If you look through the bag, there should be an mp3 player and earphones in it. Put them on and scroll till you find a folder named ‘Verse 2’. I want you to read this while you listen to that.

While we’re on the subject I should address the music. You may have gone through my computer and seen all of them there but just in case you haven’t, I started writing music around the same time we were working on Icarus. The score for the film was the first piece I ever wrote, and after that I just poured all my emotions into it. Why did I never tell you about it? Honestly a mix of fear and insecurity. No one other than me has ever heard these songs, well apart from you, now. I didn’t know what I was doing and I was scared you wouldn’t like it.

The album you’re listening to, was one I wrote while thinking about you, about us and what we’ve been through over the last two decades. I’ve never been good at expressing my emotions but I hope this works.

So, there are a lot of things to talk about so I’m going to write them down as systematically as I can but I will likely ponder and go on tangents that make no sense so apologies from the very beginning.

Cancer. So yeah, I’m sure you know by now, at least I hope you’re not reading this before I’m dead otherwise I’m getting my ass murdered tonight. But yeah, I’ve basically known my entire life that I was never gonna last long. My parents didn’t expect me to make it to age 5, let alone 25. It was something that I just had to deal with and there was just so much pity and I hated every bit of it. That was, until I met you. In the beginning I didn’t want you to pity me so I never told you. As time went on I realised I couldn’t hurt you like that. I couldn’t break your heart as you talked about how we’d grow old together.

Those four months, during your first movie shoot, I was hospitalised and basically out for most of it. Seulgi blocked your number in that state of panic and even though I don’t blame her for it, I couldn’t be with her anymore, knowing that she hurt you. Don’t blame yourself for blaming me, it was my decision to not tell you and let you think I ignored you just like that.

There is one more thing I need to talk about here which is probably going to make you hate me, more than you do by this time. Remember when we fought in high school, I started drinking? Well turns out I lost close to five years of my life thanks to that. I remember thinking ‘Jinyoung is going to kill me if he ever finds out’, not that I didn’t have five more years to live. I was always ready to go, but I only wanted to stay for you, to see you smile, to see you happy, that was all I wanted.

I know you’re probably blaming yourself for everything you ever did but Jinyoungie, know that I never blamed you and I never will. You were the best thing that ever happened to me and the only regret I have is that I didn’t get to spend every moment of my short life with you.

There are so many things I want to talk about but there’s no way for me to put them into words. I’m sorry for hurting you, I’m sorry for being such a horrible hyung, I’m sorry for leaving.

I know you’re hurting right now, and I wish I could take all the pain away, but I can’t. So instead I’m going to tell you that I love you, I always have and I always will. You are my world, Jinyoung, I don’t think I’d have made it this far without you by my side. Take care of yourself for me, and know I’m going to be looking at every move you make from up in the sky, so make sure you don’t mess up.

I don’t know how to end this, I wanted to say a lot more but I just don’t know how to verbalise those thoughts and feelings I have. Tell my parents I love them, please. I’m going to miss you a lot.

Love,

Jaebeom 

[iamtrebleclefstories]

The Little Bit of Hope I Cling to -

Part 1:

Izzie goes to Grey Sloan looking for Dr. Grey, Dr. Bailey or Dr. Karev, meets Dr. Jo Karev instead

*takes place during early s15*

“Hello Ms. Stevens, my name is Dr. Helm and I will be the resident on your case today. Now it says in your medical history that you’re a cancer survivor?” Helm asked the woman in front of her.

“Yes,” Izzie Stevens nodded her head. “I’ve been having some distressing symptoms lately. I came here to make an oncology appointment since this is where I used to get my treatment, but this morning I fainted while in the shower. I’ve been very nauseous and have not been able to keep any food down. I’ve lost a significant amount of weight. I think my mets may be back.”

“Alright, well I will call for oncology and surgical consults while I get you up for CT,” Helm nodded.

“Could I request a surgeon?” Izzie asked. “I used to work here. I’m a surgeon myself.”

“Sure,” Helm smiled. “Who would you want on your case?”

“Dr. Bailey or Dr. Grey, or Dr. Karev would be fine,” Izzie paused. “We used to be great friends.”

“Of course. Let me go find out if they’re available,” Helm said before walking off to the nurses station to find out. Minutes later Helm returned to Izzie’s bed side. “Okay, so Dr. Bailey and Dr. Grey are both in surgery right now, but Dr. Karev is available. Is that alright?”

“Yeah,” Izzie nodded nervously. She was jittery at the thought of seeing her ex-husband again. “That’s fine.”

“Great,” Helm smiled. “Dr. Karev should be down here soon. In the meantime I’m going to run a portable ultrasound to see if there are any masses in your abdomen.”

Izzie took a deep breath. She hadn’t expected to see him so soon. She knew coming back to Seattle for treatment would bring back all kinds of complicated memories. She didn’t come to start any trouble, though. She didn’t come to try to get him back. Sure, a part of her hoped that maybe he’d want her back and she’d have a chance to fix what she so horribly destroyed before. It really wasn’t why she was here, honestly. Her cancer was back. She was sure of it. She didn’t need to look at the scans to figure it out. She just wanted to be surrounded by friends as she fought it again.

***

“Hey!”

“Hey,” Jo smiled as Alex came up behind her and placed a kiss on her cheek. “I’ve missed you today.”

“I’ve missed you too,” Alex bent down to give her another kiss. “Anything exciting so far?”

“Not really,” Jo shook her head. “I did a bowl resection, supervised a resident perform an appy, and just checked on my post-ops. I think I’ll just go to the lab and work on my research if nothing comes up.”

“You could always join me,” Alex offered. “I have a kidney transplant in about an hour if you want to scrub in. I’m actually getting to do surgery today and the only thing that could make it better is if you were there with me.”

“Sounds tempting,” Jo leaned forward and brushed her lips against her husband’s. “We haven’t scrubbed in together for a while now.”

“I know,” Alex nodded. “And maybe after we can go to my office and... do some other stuff, too.”

Jo laughed, “You just want to get in my pants.”

“Always,” Alex wiggled his eyebrows and grinned. “I’m really just trying to knock you up before the year is over.”

“If I would’ve known you’d be this eager to have sex with me when I suggested trying to a baby I would’ve said yes years ago,” Jo giggled. She wouldn’t admit it to his face, but she found his desire for her incredibly sexy. If anything, it made her want him even more. “You know, that reminds me actually that I’m supposed to be getting my period this week. So, let’s cross our fingers and hope for the best.”

“Hey,” Alex smiled and his face softened. “We just started trying. It usually takes a while. So, whether you’re pregnant or not, it’s okay. We’ll just keep having fun trying until it happens.”

“Yeah. I know,” she sighed and reached up to wrap her arms around his neck. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Sorry chief, but I need to speak with Dr. Karev,” Helm walked up interrupting their moment. Jo and Alex separated and nodded for Helm to continue. Helm looked at Jo. “Dr. Karev, there is a patient in the ER requesting you. She’s said that you worked on her along Dr. Bailey and Dr. Grey. They’re both in surgery, so I told her that I’d come find you.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll be right there,” Jo turned back to Alex. “I guess I won’t be scrubbing in with you after all.”

“Some other time,” Alex gave her one last peck on the lips and walked down the hall. “See you later!”

Jo looked at Helm, “Alright, let’s go.”

They walked down to the Pit. Helm briefed her on the patient’s condition and Jo tried to rack her brain for anything that may remind her of the patient, “What did you say that patient’s name was again?”

“Um... it started with an ‘S.’ I’m sorry, I don’t remember. It was something common, though,” Helm apologized. “Oh! And I detected an abnormal mass in her abdomen using the ultrasound machine, so I think her mets are back.”

“That’s fine. You can go ahead and check on other patients while I do the consult,” Jo instructed.

Jo walked up to ER bed 3 and pulled the curtain open, tablet in her hand. She smiled at the blonde woman and extended her hand, “Hi. I’m Dr. Karev. I heard you requested me. I’m so sorry, I but I don’t seem to remember your case. Could you remind me your name?”

Izzie was confused. Who was this woman that walked into her room saying that she was Dr. Karev? Izzie furrowed her brows, “I’m sorry, you’re Dr. Karev? The Dr. Karev I was expecting is male.”

A look of realization dawned on Jo’s face, “You must be looking for my husband.”

“You husband?” Izzie asked. “You’re married to Alex Karev?”

“Yes,” Jo grinned widely. “We recently got married. Everyone keeps mixing us up since I decided to change my last name. I’ve to tell the residents to start being more specific when they’re paging us. What did you say your name was?”

“Izzie Stevens.”

Jo raise her eyebrows in surprise, “Huh... so I guess you really weren’t expecting me.”

“Nope,” Izzie shook her head. “So, I’m guessing you know who I am?”

“I do,” Jo nodded. Jo would be lying if she said she’d never thought about what it would be like to meet the woman who broke Alex’s heart. She’d also be lying if she said that the thought of this woman didn’t intimidate her. Jo had heard all about their tragic love story and a small part of her questioned where Alex’s loyalties lied. Ultimately though, it didn’t matter who this woman was. She was a patient and deserved the best care. Jo had done this before. She’d taken care of Alex’s dad. She could take care of his ex-wife, too. “So, you think your cancer is back?”

“Yeah,” Izzie’s voice cracked. “I was doing great for many years. No symptoms, no relapses, nothing. I was cancer free. I thought I beat it.”

“When did you realize something was wrong?”

“I’ve been here in Washington for the past year taking care of my mom. She was in a car accident that should’ve killed her and has been going through really intensive rehab. A few weeks ago I started feeling sick while on my way to pick her up from physical therapy,” Izzie sighed. “Look, I’m not here to cause any problems or issues or bring back the past. I’m here because I need help if I’m going to fight this, and I can’t let my mom fight for me. She’s got enough to worry about. It would just be nice to see a familiar face again.”

Jo considered herself an empathetic person, which is why it was so difficult to hate this woman. If anything, Jo felt bad for her. Deciding to be the bigger person, Jo called Helm back to bed 3, “I need you to get Dr. Stevens up to CT and admit her. Do you know if Dr. Bailey and Dr. Grey are available yet?”

“They’re still in surgery,” Helm replied.

“How about the chief? Or Webber?”

“Let me check,” Helm pulled the OR schedule up on the tablet. “Dr. Webber is off for the day and Chief Karev is about to go in on his kidney transplant kid.”

“Thanks Helm,” Jo turned back to look at Izzie. “I’m going to go talk to Alex while Dr. Helm takes care of you. I’ll be back soon.”

Jo left the ER and made her way to the OR floor to find her husband. Seeing his name on the board for OR 4, she hurried over to the scrub room. Walking in, she saw him through the window speaking to his patient. Jo waved to get his attention.

Alex scrunched his face and walked over to the scrub room, “Hey. What are you doing here? Didn’t you have a consult?”

“I did,” Jo took a deep breath. “I’m going to tell you something, but I don’t want you to freak out. Just know that I’ve got this and I’m taking care of it. If at any point you feel uncomfortable with me taking in this patient you let me know and I’ll hand it over to Bailey.”

“Who is it?”

“It’s Izzie Stevens,” Jo bit her lip. “I have Helm taking her up for CT now, but I’m pretty sure her cancer is back.”

“Izzie is here?” Alex asked, shocked expression on his face.

“Yeah,” Jo let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding as her eyes watered. “Look, I know you two have lots of unresolved history and when you married me, you didn’t think you’d ever see her again, so I’d understand if—“

“What?” Alex couldn’t believe what he’d heard come out of Jo’s mouth. “Stop talking. I’m not going anywhere. I didn’t marry you because I couldn’t have Izzie. I married you because I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So shut up with this ‘unresolved history’ crap and trust that I’m right here Jo.”

“Okay,” Jo gave him the tiniest nod and a small smile. “I’m sorry. You know how it is... a lifetime’s worth of abandonment issues will really do a number on you.”

“I’m not abandoning you, Jo. Someone would have to kidnap or kill me before I ever willingly leave you,” he cracked a smile.

“I know.”

Alex looked at Jo for minute before speaking again, “Hey, how about I come with you. I can get the peds fellow to do the transplant. We’ll go in and treat her until Bailey gets out of the whipple she’s doing and then we can transfer Izzie’s case to her.”

“Alright.”

[shadowhuntertrash]

*Slowly raises hand*

I would like to hear this story. 👀

Okay so my parents love story. (This gets long so imma add a read more)

My mom was raised by a single mother and three older brothers. Her dad was physically abusive and he left when she was seven.

She wasn't very big in school since her mom worked all the time to support the family, there was no one there to make sure she didn't skip or anything.

My dad had three half brothers (two from his mom's previous marriage and one from his dad's) so he was younger and his dad was the pastor at their church so they were very religious which made him rebel obviously.

So my parents met when my mom was in 7th grade and my dad was in 6th (they're 22 days apart but in separate grades because their birthdays are in August.)

So they got really close and were like best friends and flirted a lot. They started dating when my mom was in 9th grade and my dads mom HATED my mom because it was a small town and her brothers were all rebellious and were very notorious for being bad.

So yeah my grandma hated my mom because she thought she was a bad influence on my dad (he liked to drink and smoke from a very young age but that had nothing to do with my mom)

So they dated for a while (my mom was drill team captain and my dad was football captain as well as a baseball and soccer player)

Eventually they got in this big fight and broke up and then a few months later my dad wrecked his motorcycle and ended up in the hospital.

So my mom shows up cause his friend called her BUT my grandma called this other girl that she wanted my dad to date so they showed up at the same time and my mom was like REALLY?

And my dad was like I didn't want her i wanted you so anyway the other girl left and my mom stayed begrudgingly. They got back together the next month.

So my dad decides to go to college while my mom doesn't because she doesn't have the money. So he leaves and they break up because they don't want to do long distance.

So eventually my dad's rebellious side won out and he was kicked out of school which led him moving back home where he finds my mom engaged to someone else.

So he's not about to mess up her happiness but like obviously he still loves her so they get close again and they're best friends again and so my mom and her fiancee get in this big fight because he thinks she's cheating with my dad and she's like if you dont believe me when I say I'm not then maybe we shouldn't get married

So they call the wedding off and my dad finds out about the fight and comforts my mom before going and bEATING THE SHIT OUT OF HER EX FIANCEE

So yeah over the next few months they get closer and eventually get back together. Now my dad is about to go join the army and the only way my mom can stay with him is if they're married. So they get married at 19 and then things fall through and he doesn't leave.

So they're married and get the news a year later (right when they turn 20) that if they don't have kids now my moms body won't be able to have any biologically

So now they're parents at 21 and my dad is working at a hardware store and my moms a photographer at Macy's (I think) and it takes a while and there were hard days but anyway

They've been together for 22 years now and they're still sickeningly in love. They've fought cancer, surgeries, and accepting lgbtq+ kids

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #427

“don’t pray for me when you’re the one enslaved”

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? I wouldn't say anything, I'm pretty sure I'd just break down. Do you play video games? Not really anymore. :/ I probably would, though, if I had the appropriate consoles for games I want. You can only replay PS2 games but so many times before you're tired of them. Do you spend a lot of time with family? No, honestly. Is your house more than two stories tall? It only has one floor. Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? I'm not in a relationship, but I have most certainly never hit an s/o, and they've never hit me. I wouldn't tolerate that shit. What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) I'm not. What color is your hairbrush/comb? White. What snacks do you have available in your household atm? Hm. Just some fruity grain and oats bars, as well as cashew ones. We try to keep sweets out of the house. Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? No. Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? Holy fuck yes, she's drop-dead gorgeous. Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? Ha, I'm sure. Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? Some random middle-aged man, like who are you sir. Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? My dad. He can be so rude to people sometimes. When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? Not sure. It's been quite a while. Do you play any games on Facebook? No. What would you like to get a degree in? It'd be nice to get a degree in Arts, but yeah... I'm never going back to school. Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? Pretty much every night. Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? Play a video game. Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater? Almost without fail. You've got to, it's part of the experience. What genre of films do you like the best? Horror. How many bank accounts do you have? None, actually. Have you ever had the flu? No, thankfully. What is your goal for the next few months? To start getting in shape/losing weight. I seriously hope this gym routine works out. Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? I have seveeeere sleep apnea. It's shocking, I never would've guessed it, though, so the diagnosis (I had a sleep study, so yes, it's legit) was an extreme surprise. I don't snore at all, nor do I like pass out in the middle of something, but I stop breathing A LOT. For a year or two (no, that is not an exaggeration), it caused consistent, horrible, and violent nightmares/terrors. It made sleep frightening to me, and I was never getting a truly restful sleep. Now, I have an APAP mask (like a less extreme version of a CPAP mask) that helps me greatly. I only very rarely am surprised by a more subtle nightmare now. Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. No, thankfully. What are two things that you have no problem paying full price for? Quality tattoos, for one. And maybe uhhh... idk. We're the kind of family that buys off-brand foods and drinks all the time because it's cheaper, so I can't say that. Maybe health care? Like I wouldn't want service from a sketchy dentist or something. Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. Charming and romantic. Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? No. You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? That's hard for me to say. She doesn't seem to like talking about her past very much, because I know it's turbulent with her mother. I would say her being disowned, but I don't know how that *actually* affected her. Maybe it was for the better she wasn't under her mom's authority anymore. Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? I guess my mom, but she's actually smaller than me now. She's lost a lot of weight and is still going at it. Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Not a house, but rather hay rides and those places you just walk through and experience different stuff. They don't scare me at all; I love 'em. Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? No. Which is worse: dusting or mopping? Ugh, mopping. I don't mind dusting. Would you marry somebody who was intensely religious? No. Did you pull a senior prank? No. That shit is so dumb. Did you graduate? High school, yes. Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? No, and I never would. What was the last song you listened to? I'm listening to Lauren Babic and Halocene's cover of "Bleed It Out" by Linkin Park right now. It's great. Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell no. Is fashion one of your interests? No. Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? Hell if I know. Do you care what people think? Way, way more than I should. Is acting something you enjoy? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I feel so stupid. What was the last thing you broke/sprained? I tore a ligament badly in my foot maybe a year and a half ago. I was SO sure it was broken. My mom had to help me walk everywhere, and even when she did, I'd be whimpering and seething. Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? No. Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? No. Whose house, other than yours and your families', are you most comfortable at? If we're excluding all family, I suppose Sara's? Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? Probably at some point as a kid. Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? I played a lot. The only two I really didn't like were soccer and cheerleading. Did you ever watch the show Full House? Hell yeah, I loved it as a kid. Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? Ha ha y'all know I joke about it, but no, not legitimately. It's not like I know him personally at all, and I'm not chasing him to California either. Just let me dream still lmao. Have you ever burned someone’s picture? No, but I've actually heard it's truly therapeutic and not just for dramatic effect, so I wouldn't be opposed to doing so if you handed me a picture of him and a lighter. What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on? I've never hiked before. Would you ever get a lip tattoo? Uh, no. Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? Jason. Do your parents smoke cigarettes? My dad smokes like a chimney and is 100% going to end up with cancer because of it. You should hear his cough. Mom smoked for a very, very brief period before I was born. What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? "Equal in our bones" is on my favorite shirt. Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Certain inverts people are wild enough to get, like giant African centipedes in particular. Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? Can't say I care. do you enjoy going through old pictures? Sometimes. Other times, it's too painful. It also depends on the era of the pictures. Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? Ha, no. We all have natural first impressions and things like that that just... happen. What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? Nothing, really... besides just childhood memories that inevitably came. My hometown was dangerous. What’s a movie that you laughed the hardest during? I'm not sure. What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? I want to say Old Yeller, but I'm not sure. What’s your favorite restaurant? Olive Garden and The Cheesecake Factory. Is there a dessert you don’t like? Yeah; I don't like pie, strawberry shortcake, and I know there're others. Favorite album? Ozzy's Black Rain. It was my introduction to metal, so there's nostalgic value there, but I also just LOVE every single song. What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? None. I don't read books for that reason. Underwater or outer space? Both kinda frighten me to a degree, but I find outer space to be way cooler. So many colorrrrrrs. Dogs or cats? Cats. Kittens or puppies? Ugh, both are so cute, but I gotta hand it to kittens. Bird watching or whale watching? Whale watching would blow me away. Whales are such magnificent, awe-inspiring animals. What is your spirit animal? Probably a deer. Skittish, shy, and quiet. What was your best subject in school? English. What was your worst subject in school? Math. What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? You and Jason aren't going to last, hunty. Who is your fashion icon? I don't have one. I wear what I want/what's comfortable. Diamonds or pearls? I think diamonds are a lot prettier. What color dress did you wear to prom? First one was maroon, last one was black. What’s your favorite plot-twist? Silent Hill: Shattered Memories. My jaw actually dropped. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? Yes. Honestly, what’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad? Said things I shouldn't. Honestly, ever made anyone cry when you were mad? Yes. Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? Two weeks ago or something like that. Ever pop someone else’s pimple? OH MY GOD NO alskdfa;wekrwer; Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? No. Who are you closest to? My mom. Have you ever had a bad concert experience? No. Are you currently sad about anything? A number of things. Have you had any form of exercise today? No, but tomorrow is day #2 at the gym! Can you handle blood? Yeah, np. Has any place hired you underage for a job? No. Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? No sir=ee. Are you currently searching for a job? Not anymore, at least not actively. I was going to after TMS, but I'm just... still not ready. Right now, I'm focusing on the gym and getting healthy again, but if the seemingly perfect job comes along, I'm not opposed to taking it up. Does eating breakfast make you sick? No, I've got to have breakfast or else THEN I feel awful.