#he and Wheeljack get along fantastically

[lets-try-some-writing]

Hi! Real quick before I give you my ask, I just wanted to tell you that you work is amazing and I absolutely adore it. I'm in a pretty dark place rn but anytime you update pits a smile on my face so thank you for giving me some kind of joy ❤️

So I wanted to see if you could do anything with Ironhide? I love that mech so much and I think it would be super cool to see what you could with him. Like, if he arrived on Earth and Miko was the one who found him because that girl can't stop sneaking through the ground bridge lol and introduced him to our weird floating ball of mud? I feel like they would get along like a house on fire

Or you could whatever! It's your creative brain, let it go wild. But if you can't think of anything or have too much going on, go ahead and delete this weird ask :)

Stay safe and stay hydrated! 😁

I am so happy to have helped you out my friend. I am late as hell when it comes to answering this, but I wanted to take time to contemplate the prompt. Thank you for your patience.

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Ironhide was supposed to be working with Prowl, that's where Prime put him. However he was not one to leave his Prime alone. Optimus was well known for going and almost getting himself blown up at every turn, so Ironhide was not much inclined to leave his Prime alone on a foreign world with a bunch of trigger happy mecha, an old medic, and a youngling.

It was against orders, but sometimes a mech just needs to break orders to get things done. So it didn't bother Ironhide all that much when he snatched as much energon, weaponry, and ammo as possible and took off in a small ship to try and track Optimus and his team down. But of course he wasn't able to get off without a hitch, he had Prowl on his aft for roughly a groon and had to avoid the mech's attempts to recall him for a while. Then there were the random meteoroid showers that had him having to stop for a time as well as the odd Autobot bases he stopped at the check in and help fight off whatever threat there was in the area. He had a goal, but it was hard to not get sidetracked every two Kliks.

However eventually he got a reading regarding Optimus's last known location. He hadn't exactly told the whole army where he was heading for fear of Megatron doing something abhorrent or blowing them all up. Despite that it was not the most difficult thing in the world to use Prowl's codes to get into the database and find where Optimus was off to when he ditched the army to tail Megatron. Admittedly Ironhide found himself raising a brow at the planet of Earth when he looked into it. The place was a mudball covered in organic life while somehow managing to have energon in strangely large quantities. Personally he found it to be a less than ideal place for any Cybertronian to settle, much less Megatron, but he shrugged, set the coordinates, and shot off toward where Optimus was last recorded being.

It was quite a boring trip, but when he arrived to Earth he was beyond giddy when he noted the Decepticon presence on the planet. Sure he was largely out of ammo after his numerous pitstops and hardly had enough energon to last him another deca-cycle, but what was life without a little risk? He grinned and flew down planet side the moment he got a ping from the resident Autobots requesting his serial number. By the time he was close enough to give it and open a video channel, he had no problems keeping up a slag eating grin in response to Ratchet's blanching at his presence.

"Aye Doc. How've ya been?"

Ironhide was met with a groan of agitation that had him cackling even as Optimus and the rest of the team came on call and began directing him toward their base of operations. Landing his ship and striding out like he owned the place earned him an excited set of binary greetings from Bumblebee, groans from Ratchet, a series of largely uncertain expressions from Arcee and Bulkhead, and mixed disappointment and relief from Optimus. He was welcomed with open arms and brought into the base to be brought up to speed. He only ended up listening to about half of it before he regretted life itself upon it being made clear that being incognito was required. He was a warrior, having to hide was not exactly his strong suit.

"Prime, you can't really mean I've gotta hide like I ain't a weapons specialist?"

"This is what is required Ironhide. If the humans know of our presence, we will be exposed and they will be roped into our war"

"They're called humans? Huh, squishy lookin things they are"

Ironhide took up an alt-mode without too much of a fuss and blended into the team well as he took up the place Cliffjumper left behind. He was gruff but amusing in his own way and brought a degree of levity to the situation with his trigger happy nature. Ratchet despised him as he did everyone who turned up at his station too often. Arcee was largely annoyed with him for failing to follow proper protocol when on the battlefield. Bulkhead found Ironhide a welcome relief even if he had to try and reign him in more often than not and remind him they were on EARTH, not Cybertron. Bumblebee was just happy to have backup in the form of someone familiar and Optimus was largely in the same boat.

Ironhide fought well and without issue, granting the team greater success through grit alone. The Decepticons knew greater fear having one of the most aggressive Autobots turn up on the battlefield despite the mech in question supposedly being stationed elsewhere. Vehicons all know that the moment Ironhide turns up, its best to flee unless one is eager to have a frame full of machine gun bullets. Ironhide has and will continue to have no qualms eliminating threats, even if they are just Vehicons. Starscream had war flashbacks the first time he took to the air and got an audial full of swearing fit for a flotilla commander from the weapon's specialist. Soundwave began implementing new safety measures the moment he found solid recordings showing Ironhide smiling like a madmech while shooting down Decepticon soldiers. And when Megatron finally returned from his trip snorting dark energon, he too took one look at Ironhide and equipped as many of his units with shields as possible. It wouldn't save them from the heavy weapons Ironhide was known for handling, but it might get them an extra Klik or two on the battlefield.

With Ironhide's help, things were improving for the team despite the constant need to remind him to lay low and stop blowing up every servant class Vehicon he came across. Then the human children got involved.

"What are these things doing in base? This is war, not a sparkling center!"

"I was spotted"

"No slag two wheeler!"

Jack and Ironhide disliked each other on principle. Jack was not fond of combat and it was all that seemed to drive Ironhide to the human boy since he was not aware of many of the finer details of the war. Rafael did not have an issue with Ironhide, but he preferred the slightly tamer bots around base. Ironhide was simply a bit too much for him and it certainly didn't help that the weapons specialist made no effort at all to speak English unless absolutely required. But Miko? She adored Ironhide, and while he refused to admit it, Ironhide came to care for her too.

He refused to speak any English unless there was no other choice when it came to every other human. He would even make a point of only speaking Cybertronian when Agent Fowler came by demanding things of them. Ironhide found it hilarious to watch the human Agent fume at being unable to understand what was being said. But with Miko? Ironhide would gladly butcher the English language to speak with her. Miko in turn had a grand time watching him work on his weapons, asking questions about them, and requesting war stories. Ironhide, ever underappreciated, was thrilled at the attention and took great care with his favorite human.

Was it against the rules? Yes. Did Ironhide get reprimanded on a daily basis? Also yes. But Ironhide knew Optimus when the Prime was but a clerk newly given the responsibilities of running a planet and no Matrix to his name. He had blackmail material and didn't fear his Commander, even if he did respect him. Thus he had no qualms against giving Miko weapons and teaching her to shoot. There were many attempts to stop him, but with a weapons specialist capable of making just about anything into a deadly tool, there was no way he could be kept in line. Besides, Miko wanted to get involved. She was willing to fight for the cause, so why not arm her? Surely it was safer manning a machine gun strapped to Ironhide's shoulder rather than hide behind some rock and possibly get snatched?

When Wheeljack arrived, he agreed with Ironhide's assessment. Thus with their respective trigger happy nature combined, Ratchet lamented life, Optimus gave up trying for the most part, and Miko found herself a gunner for one of her favorite fighters.

Ironhide may or may not have also continually entertained himself by scaring the local humans by driving with no holoform, but that was just for him to chuckle at when humans posted about the 'Ghost driver'. Optimus was too tired to care, Ratchet couldn't stop him if he wanted to, and the rest of the team didn't have the ball bearings to. Ironhide was allowed to do as he pleased for the most part. It was only when his shenanigans put the team at real risk that Optimus had him sent to his quarters and actually punished for his activities.

[elfdragon12]

Yes! This is how we get good human side characters!

G1 had lots of feral and competent humans!

Carly is a fantastic example! She was hijacking the Autobot weaponry to go diving for Decepticons, which didn't quite work out, but she was driving also circles around Devastator to go barreling into the Space Bridge where she ended up telling off Shockwave for blasting her car before gallivanting around Cybertron to get nutrients that would save the Autobots. All around A+ human companion! Impressed both Wheeljack and Ironhide! I wish later cameos did more than just make her Spike's girlfriend/wife.

Raoul! Oh Raoul! Lied straight to Megatron's face about the car he delivered (Tracks) having a bomb inside it and, when Megatron tried to take him hostage, went "nope!", opened up a panel on the big bad warlord himself to spray something weird on his circuitry, and ran off with Tracks.

Dr. Harding jumped out of a window (woman was an engineer! Smart! She threw a chair through it first) to escape the mind controlled robots trying to catch her and was all around great one shot human who could have made a great recurring character.

I hesitate to list Chumley because that episode was... The most episode of season 2, right there along with Child's Play. But the guy and his manservant played the Most Dangerous Game with the Autobots and captured many.

Chip Chase, who also has the extra distinction of being in a wheelchair. Rolled right up to Devastator to slap a control device on the chair so the Autobots could stop him. Getting kidnapped by Ravage wasn't stopping this genius either!

Astoria, the most feral of them all, got thrown around a lot and still was thirsting after the robot man over twice her size.

Can't forget Dr. Fujiyama who made a giant female ninja robot... Because, if you're going to be making a giant robot anyway, why not?

Spike may have been kind of annoying and needed rescuing himself pretty frequently, but he was still right there to fight alongside them and was firing guns meant for the 20ft tall robots.

And of course! Marissa Faireborn! Ready to fight along the Autobots at every turn and was 100% ready to tear a Quintesson to pieces with a Sharkticon right there when it looked like Ultra Magnus was going to die. She was also working alongside the Technobots and, while Computron was a massive nerd, the individual members of gestalt are all very obviously products of Grimlock.

If your humans can't hang with G1 humans, are you even writing them right? (Earthspark humans would be right at home.)

nah man you know what

enough with the 'uwu humans are fragile' in the transformers fandoms

gimme humans that are FERAL and are literal space orcs on a hell planet that tries every day to kill them even when its a nice day!

our games as children teach us hunting/evading/pursuit skills. Hide and Seek anyone? we learn to hide from enemies, how to track them down, and how to run them down if playing hide and seek: tag edition.

lets take Earthspark for example.

yes the cybertronians are Much Larger than us and that's Scary bc we're just a Little Guy but also once we get over that fear they become jungle gyms. you literally cannot tell me that (willing) autobots would not have at least 20 soldiers climbing all over their frames, using them as a the 'quick route' to get onto tall walkaways instead of having to go down the hall a quarter of a mile, take a left, take an elevator, and then climb stairs to reach the correct catwalk.

Wheeljack introduces a new weapon? the humans go "ooooo NICE but add a flame thrower."

"Why"

"bc i want to be able to toast marshmallows while i shoot shit with this thing"

just humans being their little weird humans selves and giving cybertronians on both sides heart attacks with the stupid shit we do

[quetzalpapalotl]

Disorganized rambles about Earthspark under the cut, short version is that it was literally perfect and then it did a Thing and I'm weird about it

As I said after watching the first ep, I'm way more interested in the not-kids, than on the kids. That being said they didn't get annoying or boring at any point. Mo and Robby are okay, they're cute, but I truly love seeing Twitch and Thrash exploring their unique identities. The children have some dialogue that feels off to me and the emotional link makes me a bit uncomfortable at time but eh, i can live.

Twitch is my favorite, there is no contest. She is my daughter and I love her. I love thay she's the "goody two-shoes" but she's still fucking unhinged. Bless her.

I did not expect to become so endeared to Alex but he is also great. He's so earnest and tries so hard to connect with his family and his interactions with Bee are fantastic. I loved seeing their relationship develop.

BEE!! My boi, I adore him. He still feels younger than Optimus while clearly contrasting with the terrans as someone more adult and a war veteran. It's a good look on him. I feel like I liked his dialogue best, it flows really nice. I wonder what's going on with him. The fact that he has to be hidden from GHOST and that he wants to be a hero "again", makes me think he may have messed up an caused human casualties. Or maybe is a situation like IDW1 Jazz shooting a cop in live television. Either way, I'm excited for more of him.

Dot, the star of the show. Everything about her is so interesting. She steals the show every time she's on screen. Her interactions with the Cybertronians are the best. I want to learn everything about her adventures with Megatron. Really, giving him a human companion was the most galaxy brain thing the writers pulled.

Megatron is fucking perfect oh my god. He has all the presence and charm and he cares about his Decepticons SO MUCH. He truly just wants them all to live in peace and knows the only way for that to be possible is to get along with the humans. It makes sense why he is so concerned about their image. This man has his priorities straight unlike all the others Megs sqvbdysd The other major difference with them being that he clearly sees humans as people, as his relationship with Dot shows.

And omg Nova Storm (or was it Skywarp) asking if it's too late to be Autobots and Frenzy (she's a girl!!!!!!!) saying they're free and don't have to follow Soundwave. Megatron is not off, it shows the Cons are also tired and want peace.

Optimus, my beloved!! He's great in this, so earnest and awkward. He truly just wants to do the right thing, but struggles with what the right thing is and how to live in peacetime. I always love that on him. He's trying his best but needs a check sometimes and dear lord, GHOST sure are sketchy.

The megop is ofc great, I am being fed. Love their banter. Love how they feel so familiar now. Love how Megatron spoke high of Optimus to Dot and still takes any chance to make fun of him. Love that you can see what Megatron has learned from Optimus, but that he still has room to set him straight. I was telling Squiggle I low key regret not pushing the megop gift exchange further so that people could ask for ES prompts, but we were already so late with it sshjdhe.

Absolutely adoring jock!Elita. With this and the Go Go Go manga it feels like a theme now and I hope it continues. As I suspected, she's not actually OP's love interest and I'm glad she has now escaped that role to be a character on her own. Hope she gets a focus episode later on cuz she had relatively few screentime.

I am so so happy with Arcee. Flavour-wise she feels like a mix of IDW and Cyberverse, which is truly not something I ever expected to see. But like that time I ate a blue cheese chocolate, it is a unique and interesting flavor.

Wheeljack was fucking adorable.

Mandroid is a good villian. He reasonably hates the robots for bringing their war here and he's gonna deal with that by causing more war. The hypocrisy is nice and it makes a good contrast with Megatron. Doubt he's actually dead since he still has to fill some narrative potential. That is, they wouldn't allude to his past with Alex if that's not gonna come up later.

But oh man, with Mandroid, GHOST and cons like Soundwave and Starscream, there's seems like there's a lot of antagonists to deal with. I hope that means the show will run past the first 26 eps.

So I was having the time of my life and then we got to that episode and I was like "they aren't going to create more Terrans right now, are they?" And they did, and it didn't get better. And I felt so viscerally uncomfortable I considered stopping watching altogether. Because I have weird issues and they're always children related.

It's something about the carelessness of creating new life deliberately, coupled with the fact that these Terrans are being created explicitly as memebers of the Malto family and no one asked Dot if she wanted more children and how Twitch and Trash inclusion to the family dynamic had felt so organic up until now, and now it all feels like, like, ugh, Milan Kundera, you're the only one who understands me. It's feel like it's too soon. The dynamics had been so well-balanced until now and I worry how they're gonna handle these 3 new additions.

And I know this is just me being weird (ok, I do think giving Dot more kids without asking her is not fucking cash money). And this choice makes sense narratively. The Terrans are the way to take the Transformer-human relationships where they need to go so more would have to come eventually, and the Terrans are still a secret, so given the status rn there can only be more if they are also members of the Maltos. And really the show has been so good at handling every other dynamic, it can be trusted to manage the newer inclusions to the main cast.

I do hope I can get over myself because I like literally everything else about the show SO MUCH and I don't want to stop watching. But it was hard to sit through the last parts. Shsshgwhd is that thing Polyhexian makes fun of about how I will read their most uncomfortably personal sex trauma fic but I won't touch their robot children with a pole. Why am I like this?

[seeking-the-stars]

💀⭐💀 What if TFP Starscream faked his death? 💀⭐💀

(Now with added human content!)

What if Starscream faked his death (with Optimus’ and Ratchet’s help) to join the Autobots after the fall of Vos (and death of his trine) by Shockwave’s hands?

Because Starscream knew Megatron would never let him go unless he did this...

Everybody believes Optimus killed Starscream!

Only Starscream (now a scientist that’s called Cloud Walker), Optimus and Ratchet (who gave Cloud Walker his new frame) know the truth.

Megatron went totally crazy and became more vengeful then ever.

Shockwave became Megatron’s new SIC and Megatron began to abuse the scientist like how he used to abuse Starscream.

Megatron secretly blames Shockwave for Starscream’s ‘death’.

Shockwave learned to resent Megatron and begins making logical plans to overthrow him.

Even though Soundwave didn’t truly care about Starscream in life, a small part of himself misses the seeker and also finds Cloud Walker to be odd, interesting and familiar all at once.

Knockout and Breakdown never met Starscream before his ‘death’.

Dreadwing becomes the Air Commander and never met Starscream before his ‘death’.

Airachnid thinks it’s amusing that Optimus Prime was more willing to kill the Second-In-Command then the Leader of the Decepticons and she believes Optimus is a pathetic coward for it.

Optimus and Cloud Walker have a close brotherly bond (like Starscream had with Skyfire).

Ratchet is a little overprotective of Cloud, cause of their little secret.

Cloud isn’t allowed on missions at first, cause he was scared that Megatron or Soundwave might figure out who he truly is.

Bumblebee views Cloud as a third dad. (With the other two dads being Optimus and Ratchet.)

Bulkhead, Arcee and Cliffjumper think Cloud is a fantastic scientist/warrior and wonderful person, despite sometimes having grumpiness that rivals Ratchet’s.

Wheeljack loves playfully messing with Cloud sometimes, but respects him as a fellow scientist.

Smokescreen thinks the weapons, devices and other things that Cloud makes are awesome.

Ultra Magnus respects Cloud’s skills as well.

Megatron eventually finds Skyfire (Starscream’s Scientist BFF) and tells Skyfire that Optimus Prime killed Starscream, then the warlord lets Skyfire join the Deceptions and slowly transforms the gentle giant into a hate-filled, vengeance-crazed shell of his former self renamed Jetfire.

Cloud and the Autobots don’t know who Jetfire truly is.

Jetfire believes that Optimus Prime is just as terrible as Sentinel Prime once was.

Jetfire kills Cliffjumper on Earth and Cloud takes the loss almost as hard as Arcee.

Jetfire secretly promised himself that he would destroy all the Autobots to avenge his dearest Starscream.

If only Jetfire knew the whole truth...

Also, Predaking was created to be Jetfire’s predacon servant.

Similar to Ratchet, Cloud believes that it’s a terrible idea to keep Jack, Raf and Miko at their Secret Base cause they’re still basically sparklings and he also believes that Fowler as well as the human goverment is just as capable of protecting the children.

However, Cloud warmed up to the children.

Cloud is impressed by Jack’s potential leadership skills and common sense. (Cause Cloud believes that most humans lack common sense.)

Cloud likes both Raf’s intelligence and humbleness.

Cloud and Miko didn’t get along at first, cause Cloud is the one that scolds Miko for her recklessly going into dangerous situations, but after Miko learns to be more careful and responsible, they become friends.

Unlike most of the other Autobots, Cloud actually likes Fowler even when he’s sometimes being a jerk, cause the agent’s loyalty to humanity is admirable.

Cloud and June both bond over constantly worrying over their loved ones.

Cloud Walker is quite content with his new life, however deep down he wishes to tell everyone the truth, but he’s also scared that it will ruin everything...

[earthstellar]

Rewatching Transformers G1 S2: Episode 1: Autobot Spike

Yes, this is where the Surprised Ratchet meme image comes from:

This episode has a lot going on including near-death of a human character on screen, body horror/a Frankenstein plot, and some genuinely unsettling scenes mostly made creepy due to the combination of some interesting dialogue/voice acting and typical G1 Quality. 

And Spike shoots Starscream in the ass mid-flight, which is fantastic. 

He also shoots his dad, which is less fantastic. 

Being a horror nerd, I love this episode, so here we go! 

Gonna put this below a cut because I’m taking a lot of screenshots here:

You can watch the whole episode on YouTube here in 4 parts, if you want to watch along! 

Alright, so it opens with Sparkplug trying to create “Autobot X”, which is straight up just a Frankenstein’s Monster of autobot parts. It’s weirdly creepy, and vaguely reminiscent of the infamous Ratchet-Megatron fusion in the Marvel comics.

I want to point out that Sparkplug says “I wanna see what I can do with a lotta spare Autobot parts and some human ingenuity” before the reveal shot above, and that’s horrific if you think about it for more than like, three seconds. 

It also may have been the origins of the MECH plot line in TFP, actually! Very similar body horror type thing going on. Anyway.

It works briefly, but it flips out and has to get shut down. 

Ironhide fires a laser, problem solved, nobody’s worried. They put Autobot X in storage, because surely a rampantly aggressive seemingly sentient pastiche of random Autobot parts is nothing to worry about. It’s fine. 

Wheeljack is like, hell yeah, I’ll help you work on it later. Which is when we get the Surprised Ratchet image, because yeah, I bet Ratchet’s freaked out a little since this thing is made of SPARE AUTOBOT PARTS. 

Then we’re swept immediately into a fight with Megatron, as many Seekers as you can fit in frame at one time, and Soundwave. 

For whatever reason, Bumblebee shows up driving through a bunch of partially blown up missile/rocket components, with Spike in the driver’s seat. Even Spike is like, dude, why are we here? And Bumblebee is just like, I mean, we couldn’t NOT show up. lmao

Unsurprisingly, Bumblebee gets shot-- In alt-mode, with Spike inside. Uh oh. 

Megatron leaves, because Frank Welker can only voice so many characters at once, and our attention is turned to the carnage. 

Ratchet is like, sure, I can fix Bumblebee right up! Meanwhile, Ironhide is like oh god, oh my god, is this how you hold a human??? Is it dead??? Optimus is gonna be pissed. 

So Optimus rolls up like, listen, take him to the hospital, come on. Ratchet lets him in the back of his ambulance mode, and Prowl goes with him so that he can throw his emergency lights on to give the illusion of a police escort, ensuring the drive is even quicker. 

(I miss the days when Prowl wasn’t a total asshole.) 

It cuts pretty quickly to Spike in an operating theatre; Apparently getting shot by alien space lasers isn’t conducive to human health: 

It cuts again to the attending physician standing at Spike’s beside, presumably in ICU although they appear to be in a private room, with Sparkplug on the other side of the bed. 

The doctor says “Hmm, if only there were a way of separating Spike’s mind from his body while we work...” Which, uh, what? What surgeon says that? You can sort of already do that in actual human medicine, it’s called an induced coma. 

But sure, we need exposition here, I get it. The screenplay here is tight. Sparkplug says he has an idea...

Back at the Autobot hangout, things seem fairly chill, considering. 

Ratchet is welding Bumblebee’s ass in alt-mode, while Bumblebee complains about how long it’s taking. lol 

Meanwhile, Wheeljack and Sparkplug somehow have Spike hooked up to a Ghostbusters colander helmet, which will hopefully transfer his mind into the malfunctioning/in stasis Autobot X frame. Yikes. 

It works! Spike is now also Autobot X. We will call him Spike X for short. 

And for some reason, Spike saying “D-Da-ad?” with this faceplate expression is incredibly funny to me, while also being really weird and creepy: 

However, this is only cool for like two seconds, at which point Spike X truly starts to lose his shit. 

It gets real creepy here, with Spike X saying in a very oddly flat inflection “Why? Why did you do this to me? Why?” and it’s pretty wild. There’s even a mild strobe effect for a few frames. 

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker try to help calm him down, but Spike X throws them both across the room. 

Optimus is like, oh shit, we made a giant metal teenager. Stop him, but use low power, because if the Autobot X frame is damaged too much, then Spike’s consciousness may not be able to be returned to his actual human body. 

Note that Optimus says this in a pretty relaxed way, then levels a shoulder mounted cannon straight at Spike X, which is incredibly funny. 

It quickly gets deeply weird and creepy again when Spike X is temporarily able to talk with his dad, and states that “it’s hard to think, like something is telling me to do... bad.... things!” Yiiiiiikes. 

He gets it under control again, apologises to his dad for the outburst (I think it’s OK, Spike), and Optimus says that he’s cool to stay at the base and he’ll be taken care of while his human body heals up. 

However, oh shit, the Decepticons have found out that Spike now has an Autobot frame-- And they know he’s unstable. 

Starscream tries to roast him, but Megatron’s like, shut up nerd, we’re gonna make Spike X turn against the Autobots! It’s a good plan, I’m serious! 

Back at the Autobot base, Ratchet is still welding Bumblebee’s ass, and Bumblebee is still complaining. Wheeljack hooks up Spike X with some network television, and he’s watching... Frankenstein. Because the six year old kids who are the intended audience of G1 may not be familiar with the source material for this episode’s plot, I guess, which is fair. (Frank Welker nails it here as Dr. Frankenstein, but that’s unsurprising, because he always nails it. I think he’s also voicing Frankenstein’s Monster, but I haven’t checked the credits.)

Obviously, this isn’t a great thing for Spike X to be watching at this particular moment, so he freaks out again. 

Wheeljack and Sparkplug come running, and somehow Sparkplug is covering ground faster than Wheeljack. It’s fine, don’t worry about it. 

Ratchet’s progress on welding Bumblebee’s ass is interrupted by Spike X breaking through the wall and seemingly flying away. lmao 

They just sort of stand there, like, well, we lost him, I guess. 

Bumblebee is like, alright, gonna go get my boy. 

So he drives out of this massive crater, and Ratchet is like, wait! Your radio transmitter still doesn’t work. (Apparently their radio transmitters are located in their asses. Fascinating.) 

Spike X sits on a cliff and says “what a drag”, which, yeah. Being a Frankenstein space robot would be cool if not for the immense psychological damage this is absolutely causing. 

However, he also calls himself a “walking garbage can” in a completely genuine put-out tone of voice, which absolutely sells that this is a teenager in a giant robot body and I laughed, I won’t lie. 

Some of Megatron’s cronies locate him and hold his position. 

At the same time, Bumblebee shows up and tries to talk Spike X down from a random destructive rampage. 

He throws Bumblebee off the cliff! And Megatron’s squad is rolling up. (Well, flying up, anyway.) Uh oh! 

Spike X is like, hell yeah, bring it. More ass to kick. And it turns out his arm mounted cannon works, because he shoots Starscream directly in the undercarriage and says “YEAH, MAN!” and it’s so genuine. 

This is the perfect reaction to being a teenager in a giant robot body and just suddenly being able to shoot lasers and kick ass. Look at how happy he is, that he just shot Starscream in the butt mid-air. It’s awesome.

Unfortunately, the Seekers do actually beat him up, although Spike X puts up a good fight. 

Megatron then takes advantage of his further weakened state, and swoops in to pitch a classic “Join Us” speech. Spike X calls him “Megacrumb”, which is probably acceptable because he’s absolutely concussed by this point. 

Megatron is willing to overlook this for the sake of teaming up. 

Bumblebee eavesdrops, and drives away-- But Spike X gives Megatron a handshake, and agrees to “make them pay”. Oh shit! 

For some reason, Optimus and Ironhide are back at the rocket facility to watch a launch. Because I guess whatever, this whole situation is chill, let’s go watch rockets? IDK 

But either way, Optimus roasts the inferior quality of human technology, while Bumblebee just drives up on site despite Military Police levelling sniper rifles at him in order to report that Megatron is taking advantage of Spike X’s inability to think clearly. 

Optimus says “I feared something like this might happen”, which, if that were the case, why not take actions to prevent it, maybe? Not the strongest Optimus episode. 

To be fair though, Ironhide transforms and is already driving off before Optimus even gives the order to roll out, so I guess Ironhide either really wants to kick some ass or cares slightly more about Spike X’s wellbeing. He has no dialogue here, so we can only guess. 

They get there, with even more Autobots who showed up at some point in the rapid scene cuts here, and Spike X is super unhinged-- Charging his weapons, he starts speaking in a more strained and angry way, and engages the Autobots! 

He hits Optimus with what appears to be a chest laser? It’s hard to see. But it’s super effective: 

Optimus pleads with Spike X to calm down, but Spike X straight up pulls MEGATRON IN GUN MODE out of his sub-space and shoots Optimus directly in the faceplate. Damn! 

The Seekers and Soundwave drop in, and start rapid firing on all the Autobots present. 

We get some great shots of Megatron in his gun alt-mode as he tries to convince Spike X to keep attacking. Optimus and Bumblebee hide behind cover, attempting to bring Spike X to his senses long enough to disarm him. 

Suddenly, Wheeljack and Sparkplug roll up; Sparkplug attempts to talk some sense into Spike, too. 

Optimus and Bumblebee are at a loss; If they take out Spike X, the damage might take him out for good. 

However, Sparkplug fails in his efforts to talk to Spike X; He SHOOTS HIS DAD AND KNOCKS HIM OFF THE CLIFF. 

Can you imagine if they put an ad break here? lmao 

Luckily, he has like, a claw machine arm, and he catches his dad before he becomes a human smoothie. 

This shocks Spike X badly enough that while he still has Megatron in gun mode, he takes a few pot shots at the Seekers and the Decepticons decide it’s time to bounce, so Megatron bails too. 

He apologises for almost killing his dad, his dad is like hey no beef man, and it cuts to them in the hospital: 

Sparkplug takes his son’s body back to the Autobot base (that sounds worse than it is), and they prepare to transfer him back into his body. 

What’s extra funny here is that he nervously laughs and says “Hope you fixed this thing up good, Ratchet!” And Ratchet says absolutely nothing. Not a word. 

It’s a success! Dad and son hug, totally not even addressing anything that happened this whole episode, because that’s a job for a therapist. 

Ratchet, who continues to not really care about any of this, tells Wheeljack “You know, I could probably repair that mess, but I think it’s best that I don’t.” (This is a play on what Wheeljack said earlier in the episode when he offered to help Sparkplug fix up Autobot X to begin with.) 

I love how tired Wheeljack looks. LOL

Spike, now recovered, leaves us with a great question to close out the episode: “I wonder what it’d be like for a robot mind to be transferred... to a human!” 

Depending on what kind of kid you were, his question was either imagination fuel for fun humanformer ideas, or was a blatantly bad question indicating he learned nothing and providing nightmare fuel trying to imagine one of the Autobots losing their shit in a human body the same way Spike lost his shit while inhabiting Autobot X. 

Anyway, great episode! 10/10 Scary, funny, creepy, Starscream got shot in the ass by a teenager. 

[thenamesblurrito]

More teachers! Because I realized I hadn’t posted them yet either smh I just don’t have any idea what I’m doing.

Rung hasn’t seen an Academy like this since he worked with the universities of Crystal City! Truly, it’s brilliant what they’re doing here, with all frames and functions mingling. It’s no wonder he was hired as a counselor with such a clash of cultures, they’ll need the very best, and it’s been his job for so long he’s forgotten when he started! He oversees the mentoring portion of the curriculum, coordinating 13 teachers and their subjects, although he himself is not a teacher as providing both therapy and grades would be a conflict of interests. It also means he won’t have to remember to do the grading, as he’s a little scattered at the best of times. It seems he misplaces or breaks his glasses every day, sometimes even switching his pair with Maccadam’s! His filing system isn’t the best, either, but it’s alright because no one seems to check up on him, aside from that nasty mech Froid who fancies himself his rival. The one thing he does remember perfectly is the problems his patients face, and how he’s going to help them, starting by giving them some handmade model kits for them to put together.

Wing is surprised to be a teacher, but life has brought him to such a myriad of places and occupations that he’s learned to jump in enthusiastically. From model to athlete to charity spokesperson to astronomer, he’s dedicated himself fully to whatever has come his way, with all the grace and benevolence he believes a high class Crystal City mech should have. As an adherent of the sect called the Circle of Light, he’s eager to see a community of diversity and mutual aid. Unfortunately, not everyone seems to agree with him. He tries to negotiate peace in whatever spats and arguments he comes across, but it still gets depressing. One student he’s particularly concerned with is Deadlock, full of anger and bitterness. If there’s anything he can do to ease this youngling’s struggle, he will. His jet alt is unusual for a size 2 frame, but he’s considered gorgeous instead of ungainly.

Perceptor finds his role of teaching scientific theory to be a good fit for him, if his fellow faculty members weren’t all completely insane. That one inventor Wheeljack has a running competition with the actual principal of whose class accumulates more lab injuries! It’s highly unprofessional and he wishes he could work with them in a more measured manner, but he must admit the results of their work is stellar, and the students learn well. His own child Sureshock is a student, and he couldn’t be more proud of her growth in learning and making friends. With a size 2 tracked electron microscope alt like his, he’s always been meant for science, and this Academy has afforded him a chance to meet and mingle with other scientists he never would have met otherwise.

Wheeljack is a bit of a maverick in the scientific world. His ideas are too big, too bulky, too brilliant, and enough of his experiments have ended in, er, “catastrophic deconstruction” that he’s banned from using several volatile materials, and also blowtorches. But here, at the Academy? He’s finally acknowledged for the genius he is. He almost missed the opportunity, as Shockwave had tried hiring his creator Queue first, but Queue passed it on to him, and he’s never looked back. The other faculty are great, especially Shockwave, although Perceptor could stand to cycle down some, and it would be nice if Ratchet stopped hitting him with a wrench every time he ends up in the medbay. It’s not his fault the lab blew up! Teaching chemical engineering is fantastic, along with that friendly competition with Shockwave about who can push their experiments to the limit. Size 2 sportscars aren’t usually scientiests, but with a processor like his, there isn’t anything else he could be.

[aranea-mechanica]

(( BREAKING NEWS: here’s the 4k unfinished rp log from after this post, in which tarantulas temporarily adopted @medicalmurdersaurus, @kingasaurusrex, @surly-saurus, @tomatofaceasaurus, @elite-tracker, and @slvdge​, and they wreaked absolute havoc on the Tor.

TAKE CHANCES, MAKE MISTAKES, GET MESSY!

Tarantulas

One thing led to another led to another led to another. Scooping Swoop up somehow got leaked to Grimlock, then Grimlock threatening him via comm inspired Tarantulas to adopt him too, which got leaked to Slag as well, who joined the party and essentially dragged Snarl and Sludge and Slash along for the ride. Tarantulas hopped through one portal after another herding them into the Tor, and mysteriously enough, they all seemed completely fine with the impromptu field trip. It was surreal how quickly and painlessly it came to pass - and all the more foreboding for what would probably follow.

The room the Dinobots were plopped into was mainly clear of equipment, although it had a decent serving of webbing slung around here and there. One might mistake it for a foyer of sorts, given the paths branching off toward more dim destinations. Strange sounds and smells emanated from far too many directions.

…In hindsight, Tarantulas would probably find that this hadn’t been the wisest of places to drop the Dinobots into the Tor for the first time. Popping back into the foyer at last, he’d just have to see the results of his poor decision for himself, now wouldn’t he?

Swoop

On the plus side, getting kidnapped gives Swoop a chance to look around while his siblings are herded up. On the down side, getting kidnapped gives Swoop a chance to look around while his siblings are herded up.

The high ceilings are far too tempting. He has to know what is up there. Up where? Up there.

Tarantulas

Swoop's first guess is probably right - webs. More webs, loosely spun. Probably a pretty fantastic jungle gym, a thought that's definitely occurred to Tarantulas as well.

Grimlock

Grimlock had only been outside his own verse a handful of times. Notably only to see the Prime that wasn't Prime, but regardless, this place is new. With new smells. And new sounds. And several new sights. He squints through his visor, deciding quickly he doesn't like it.

Which is only a half lie to himself.

He's curious as hell. Enough so that he reaches out to start poking at the various webbing strands littering the area-

And immediately decided it was interesting enough to start pulling at. Weird how it looked like string but felt nothing like it. Should probably take some home. It'd look cool in Kraken's cage.

Swoop

Swoop circles the room once, twice, a third time for good measure. In the last pass, he dips down past Grimlock and pulls up sharply so he can get enough momentum to fling himself up to the highest webs while transforming. He shrieks all the way up to his new perch.

Sludge

Swoop chose to go up, but Sludge? Sludge chose to go left, and investigate this entirely new place from the ground level. There's weird smells coming from that way, he has to know what they are, immediately. And possibly touch whatever's making those weird smells.

Absolutely touch whatever makes the weird smells.

Snarl

Snarl is just kinda staying put exactly where he ended up.

Tarantulas

The threads aren't really sticky - most of them, anyhow - but they do pull and pull and pull, and never seem to actually snap. The ones on the ceiling are thicker and have less give, which probably benefits Swoop (though if he chooses wisely he could certainly have a bungee-jumping adventure). Grimlock, however, probably won't be able to snag a sample of silk unless he slices instead of pulls.

If Sludge wanders far enough down the hall to the left, he'll reach a room with massive vats of various organic and inorganic fluids. Science lab or buffet? Who can tell.

What does it really matter what the original intent was, honestly.

Snarl

This wasn't part of his plan for the day. Not that he ever had much of a plan, but he definitely hadn't been ready for getting dragged along to be a part of the Tor.

Kinda looked like they just traded one dark rocky space, for another dark-ish space.

Swoop

There is some WWE off the ropes flinging going on towards the ceiling. This is a great time and Swoop is here for it, except... since when do his brothers come on his weird outings? That's new. Swoop springs towards the machinery nearest Snarl, landing with a CLANG.

Snarl

A lesser bot who DIDN'T LIVE WITH SWOOP 24-7 would probably be startled.

Grimlock

He's coming to that conclusion himself, though his considerable strength had managed to pull the elastic-like strands a decent way out of their original positioning. Now he wants this even more. Wheeljack could probably make some awesome weapon or maybe just something all around cool for the Dinocave.

He's thinking punching bags.

A hammock would be kinda cool too. He's seen those on tv and they at least look like a good time. It's never going to happen, however, unless he manages to get some of this stuff back home.

So without further ado, he reaches to his back to disconnect the base of his sword and activate it. When in doubt-slice it.

Swoop

"SNARL!" the pterosaur giggles. "You go a place. An INSIDE place!" It's difficult for someone as cartoonish as Swoop to come across over the top enough for the sarcasm to be clear. But, by god, he's trying.

Tarantulas

Thus begins the damage that Tarantulas will eventually have to repair and/or clean up later. Swoop's definitely leaving claw marks on that machinery.

Snarl

Snarl levels him with a look as flat as stale water. "What inside place?"

You have a chance to sell it, Swoop.

Swoop

Swoop throws his arms out Robert Downey Jr style to illustrate the Tor. "Dunno!"

Sludge

Vats! Full of stuff!

None of which he recognizes, but they're interesting colors and he's pretty sure that red flavor is the best flavor for anything. Spike had said that once. Sludge peered between the vats for a moment, trying to locate one that was red. And once he finds one, he carefully sets his cat down on the floor out of the way, and promptly shoves his face into said vat.

It's time... to lick the red flavor.

Snarl

Well. That meant his options were play statue exactly where he was which was tempting or go along with Swoop.... who might screech and pick at his armor until he does anyway.

Path of least resistance it is. Massive shoulders rise and fall in a shrug. "Kay. We go."

Tarantulas

Red flavor = probably synthetic blood, maybe, sort of. Does Sludge know what hemoglobin and plasma taste like? If so, it'll definitely be familiar, and nothing that'll affect his systems. His cat might find the vat strange, though.

And Grimlock can certainly have at, and with moderate success. Expect much chastising from Tarantulas once he does arrive and finds missing chunks of webbing, though.

Swoop

Nice. Another victory for Swoop.

"Us goooooooo-" He spun in a circle and then pointed in an arbitrary direction. "-thata way!"

Snarl

Good of a place as any. "Kay." Off they go then.

Tarantulas

Lots of static coming from "thata way." They'll have to open a few very-locked doors before they get to the source of it all.

Snarl

Hm. A door.

Fire time.

Sludge

Blegh. Spike was wrong, red flavor is worst flavor. Sludge is going to try the ominously glowing purple flavor instead. Maybe that one tastes better? Hopefully Tarantulas won't mind that he knocked over the blue vat on his way there.

Snarl

...This door is being very stubborn for fire time.  Clearly that means there needs to be MORE FIRE TIME.

Swoop

Swoop is pro fire. He is always pro fire. But he's also pro comedy...

.... so he's going to go over and poke buttons to see if he can get the door open despite his brother.

Tarantulas

Blue vat leaves a sticky mess on the floor that Sludge won't enjoy stepping in, mostly because he'd get, well, stuck. Glowing purple flavor is mysteriously void of scent and taste, but leaves a mild tingle wherever it touches.

Snarl

At least the door is a little more pliable than before. So while Swoop is off CLEARLY not helping, Snarl decides to take matters into his own hands.

Literally into his hands. He starts beating on the door with his fists.

Sludge

The tingle is kind of cool. Let's try some more of that and see if he can make his insides tingle.

Tarantulas

The door, meanwhile, holds against the fire, but the buttons nearby start to malfunction under the combo of radiant heat & ridiculous mashing. They're doing Tarantulas a favor by finding out the flaws in his security, right? In the end the fists are what does the door in first, and they're on to the next one.

And yes, Sludge, your insides are definitely tingling now. That might be an unfortunate distraction from the fact that the other parts that WERE tingling are no longer feeling ANYTHING now.

Snarl

One last hit, and the poor door finally gives, getting essentially blown off its frame.

Snarl

"Open."

Swoop

"You Snarl DID IT!" : >

Snarl

"You Swoop and Me Snarl go to 'that way' now."

Swoop

Swoop dashes through the door and immediately looks up to see if there's more stuff to play with.

Swoop

Snarl follows along at a more leisurely, lumbering pace.

Tarantulas

Nope, just another hallway leading six possible directions. The static's coming from behind another door. Suuuuuper tempting, right?

Sludge

Well, his insides feel really tingly and it's super cool. But he feels weirdly off balance with half his face no longer feeling anything. Maybe he should leave the rest of the vats alone now. He'll come check them out again later. Aaaaafter he's checked what other rooms are in this hallway.

Snarl

"...Me hear noise."

"Swoop, that you?"

"You Swoop weird noise allllll the time."

Swoop

Swoop runs a circle, going past each possible option before sliding Tom Cruise style into Snarl's side.

"Nope! It not Swoop."

Tarantulas

Meanwhile, guess who's busy conjuring another bridge back to the Tor, finally. Oh dear.

Snarl

Snarl, squints and scrutinizes Swoop. Not that staring at him suspiciously does much for figuring out SOUND.

Slash

Slash finally makes it to the party, she looks around at what is going on so far, seems all her brothers have wondered off to do their own thing. She probably should be a good dino and wait for her leader Slag, but all the new scent and surroundings where to tempting to stay still for too long!

Slash was soon sniffing around and collecting as many new scents as she can, it was time to explore!

Grimlock

Grimlock has a large, triumphant handful of the strange white stringy stuff. After much hacking has been had to get it that far. He's, for the moment, content and immediately wraps it around his arm for safe keeping. Besides, it makes his arm thicker by just that much that clotheslining Slag is going to be hilarious later.

That done, he notices his brothers have, as they're wont to do, wandered off. Well shit. Whose scent does he follow- or does he follow the odd chemical smell that burns at his ol factory sensors in a way that's not entirely unpleasant....

His brothers would be fine. Odd smells it is then.

Swoop

For a genuine moment, Swoop lets Snarl listen. That is his thinking face after all. But Swoop can only stand it so long before he just.... chirp!

Snarl

Oh, hey, the weird noise is getting louder. Kinda sounds like the TV when the channels don't feel like working. Or something like that.

Nope. Was probably Swoop.

Tarantulas

Sludge's exploration supplies him with various rewards - rooms full of more organic smells and sights, something that looks like an operating theater, then a dissection lab that definitely has specimens still displayed. Ick.

Swoop

"This Spiderbot, uh, house."

Sludge

The poor dinobot has no idea what an operating theater is, but it's got sharp pointy things and shiny things so that's where he's gonna play now. Some of these look like things Ratchet uses. Where's Swoop? He'd know what they were.

"SWOOP!"

Tarantulas

Sludge's yell makes things shake and clatter a little. Nothing's damaged.... yet.

Also, 'house' is a generous term.

Slash

Slash decided to follow the scent to the vats she can smell Sludge has been here also, she wondered over to the vats to get a closer look and sniff only to step into the blue sticky mess and tumble forward into it.

Tarantulas

Grimlock's sense of smell leads him in a similar direction to Sludge, but down a different hall. It'll take him a long time to get to the source of the smell, but there's a straight path, and a green glow far, far off at the end.

Snarl

"Spiderbot have loud house."

"...."

"Wait that sound like him Sludge."

Slash

Slash is stuck! The blue goop clings to her if she tries to pull away.

Snarl

Hmmm. Sludge or the door. Decisions.

He looks to Swoop. ????

Slash

Slash is pulling! SHE WANTS OUT!! "ME SLASH STUCK!"

Swoop

Swoop looks back where Sludge's bellowing came from, then up at Snarl.

"Him dead."

Snarl

Well that settles that.

"Kay. We open door thing now."

Grimlock

Ugh. The smell was no longer as pleasant the closer he got to it. It stung, actually. Grimlock's face was set in a grimace under his mask and for half a second he almost turns back around. Then his optics narrowed and he growled. Giving up was for LOSERS. And Grimlock was no loser.

The green glow was more of a pinprick in the distance at the moment and Grimlock took off at a run, lumbering steps echoing down the narrow space.

Swoop

Swoop bobbled his head in agreement. Later, losers.

Snarl

There are more doors to break down. Like this one. Fire Time part 2.

Swoop

Swoop transforms into pterosaur mode and joins in the melting.

Tarantulas

The fire changes color when it hits the door, but it's slowly successful in melting it.

Swoop

He gaaaaaaaaaaasssps! <3

Snarl

Snarl stops immediately because did you see that?

Swoop

"AWESOME!!"

Sludge

Hmm. Swoop isn't coming. Shame. Now he has to go looking for his little brother. He gets to his feet and makes his way back to where he'd started, to pick a new hallway. Is he down this way?

Snarl

He's looking between Swoop and the door in quick succession.

Slash

Slash struggles to pull herself free of the blue mess on the floor, her claws start to heat up for more SLICING MELTING ACTION! "GRRR! ME SLASH WANT OUT!"

Snarl

Then he levels his brother with the most serious look that's ever graced his face. "Us burn ALL things. Find more colors."

Slag

Slag, for his part, waited to see where all his various brothers were going... and then went in whatever direction they weren't, plodding along leisurely with his drone pet/toy jingling about beside and somewhat under him when he pauses to scoot Gong Fat back between his front legs.

Gotta keep his toy from getting squashed or burned or otherwise Dino'd.

Swoop

Swoop lets out a victory shriek and flaps hard enough to get himself a ways off the ground. "YAAAAHHH!"

Tarantulas

Heated claws are super effective on the blue goop - it seems to melt as Slash slices, although it does leave a lot of residue on her as well.

Slag's adventuring leads to a far less interesting path than the others - it's mostly consoles, servers, and computer hardware in the rooms down his route.

Grimlock

Aaaagh even RUNNING was taking too much time! Grimlock growled, getting quite irritated. It was time to find a shortcut. He eyes the wall next to him, tapping on it.

The rearing his fist back to slam it into the surface with as much power as he can.

Slash

Slash was finally free and quickly gained as much distance from the blue goop as she can, her movement a little slow due to the residue left on her. She was totally leaving claw marks in the floor as she ran in a random direction.

ALSO SLASH SAW YOU SLUDGE JUST IGNORE HER >:C

Tarantulas

Also, tip to Swoop and Snarl: although all the doors in THIS hallway burn the same color, OTHER hallways might not. Have at it.

Grimlock immediately succeeds in denting the wall next to him, and there's a groaning rumble a few seconds afterward.

Grimlock

.........

Well, it did SOMETHING.

Time to hit it again.

Snarl

Snarl proceeds to be flamethrower, and immediately forgets to actually go through the door they demolished

Slag

Oh. Buttons.

Slag doesn't really read much to know what the buttons do but, they're colorful. And some of them glow. And they have TVs on them. He supposes he can find something to watch.

Maybe spider has movies. Maybe spider has Netflix.

One stumpy triceratops foot plops gracelessly on the console, sort of pawing at the keyboard to try to make something happen.

Slash

Slash now wishes she can flamethrower breath to get all this blue goop off of her, it was slowing her down! She doesn't like this place anymore it's dumb!

Slash finally stopped running to look around, just where was she now? She'll sniff the air to see where her brothers had run off to.

Tarantulas

Grimlock manages to rend the metal of the wall a bit, but only enough to see through. It's inky black, wherever that is, and smells like... nothing?

......

Sludge

Swoop is decidedly not down this new hallway, Sludge decides eventually. But there's more places to see, so he'll keep walking. If the other hallway had interesting things, this one should too.

Snarl

Follow the burning, Sludge.

Sludge

Why follow the burning, when he can make his own burning?

Snarl

Follow the scent of scorched metal and mania.

Snarl

ALSO A GOOD OPTION.

Tarantulas

Spider does not have Netflix. Spider has a security system on his console that requires eight levels of clearance before anything actually happens. Want to give it a shot, Slag? It'll make tons of interesting colors and sounds.

Grimlock

How does something smell like nothing? Grimlock's vents huff as he tries to peer through the hole. His curiosity is torn now between this seemingly empty space that smells like nothing and the challenge that was the green glow in the distance.

Slag

Huh. Colors are happening. Maybe it's a game?

Slash

Slash will follow the burning.

Slag

He can probably figure out the button combo to make it do the thing. Keysmashing usually works back home. This is probably the same.

Sludge

He can sort of hear Swoop and Snarl burning things, though. Somewhere to the right. Does he want to backtrack? Not really. So he's going to go the Quicker Route and start spitting fire at the wall.

It'll have to give way eventually.

Snarl

Some of the doors are just opening and closing now. Weird.

Swoop

The problem with a hallway is that he can't full on circle and swoop in the air. He'll have to make do with brief strafing runs. Snarl gets well and truly covered in fire, which is probably a nice bonus to all the activity. Toasty!

Snarl

Snarl, wreathed in flames, and fueled by destructive impulses is a fearsome thing to behold.

Actually that's a lie. He's looks confused

Why are the doors just opening like that now? Are they trying to get away from the burning?

'Cause, Ha. Like that'll happen.

More fire.

Tarantulas

Definitely not the same, Slag. This one eventually blacks out completely after too much keysmashing, since the chances of one Dinofoot following the pattern of eight Spiderpaws is slim to none.

Grimlock

Curiosity has given way to frustration. Guess what?

That wall's coming down if he has to break his knuckles doing it.

Swoop

Swoop thoughtlessly clips his own wing on a wall and eats quite a bit of floor before sliding to a stop. "KEHEHE!"

Snarl

Hmmmm.

Slash

OK one the doors almost closed on Slash's tail! NOT COOL!

Slash will just... Well slash at the controls of the door, maybe that will stop it from acting weird!

Slag

Oh. Broke it.

............

WHELP. Time to leave the scene of the crime. Last time he broke a console full of buttons he got buried alive so maybe he'll just wander off and have no idea who broke the thing.

Snarl

Snarl is gonna pick Swoop up, and toss him through one of the doors when they open.

He's aerodynamic. He'll make it.

Probably.

Swoop

Wheee! Off he goes! "KAHAH!"

Slag

C'mon Gong Fat let's find something to chew on.

Tarantulas

Knuckles needn't be broken - the wall comes down eventually, and Grimlock gets the opportunity to venture into a space that's completely open, aside from long metal supports stretching seemingly-randomly through the darkness. He can certainly hop onto one or another from the hole he's ripped in the wall.

Slash gets a small explosion for her efforts, but the door doesn't reopen.

Sludge

This was is taking too long to melt for Sludge's liking. Time to bash it headfirst. Good thing he still can't feel his face.

Grimlock

He does just that, pulling his blade out again to set it on fire. So he can see, you understand.

Slash

Good that will teach the door one!

Slash will then continue to follow the burning scent until she spots Snarl, "You Snarl set me Slash on fire. Get dumb blue goop off."

Tarantulas

Sludge succeeds! This wall is REALLY thick though, so it might take quite a bit of headbashing to make it through.

Sludge

He has more than enough headbashing to go around for this wall.

Tarantulas

The first thing Slag and Gong Fat chew on shocks their respective mouths hard enough to (hopefully) be a deterrent to chewing more.

Swoop

Swoop is either meeting more floor or going for an impromptu flight. Either way, he is down.

Slash

Ok new plan, start scratching all the blue goop off!

Slag

Ouch. Well it's definitely not a cabbage for shredding which is deterrent enough for Gong Fat.

Slag, however, is a bit miffed at the shocky stingy ouch in his mouth, and retaliates with a bolt of laser from the tips of his horns. SCREW YOU, SHOCKY THING.

Grimlock

So Grimlock can only remember having to do so much jumping one other time in his life. Somewhere in the Rockies. It sucked. This isn't much better.

But hey, everything echoes here and everyone always accused him of loving to hear his own voice. It's gonna roar into that void right now.

Snarl

Did it work though?

"You Swoop see things?"

Sludge

Persistent headbashing has led to a lot of ringing in his head, but if it opened the wall, then he will consider it worth it.

Tarantulas

Finally - finally. Tarantulas is ready to round up the Dinokids and show them around their new home. He can't wait. It's going to be fantastic.

...But they're not here in the foyer. And there are at least three paths of destruction in different directions, all of which sound like no one is up to any good. What in the WORLD is he going to do with these dangerous toddlers?

He's never had much reason to use it before, but he's ridiculously glad he installed the PA system now. Tarantulas's voice is unbelievably cheery as it echoes in every room of the Tor.

"I trust you're making yourselves at home!"

Snarl

!!!!

Sludge

!!!! Voices from the ceiling!

Snarl

LOUD YELLING AND IT'S NOT THEM, WHAT?

Slag

Head voices.

Head voices everywhere.

It's echoing.

His head isn't that empty. Shit's not supposed to echo.

Slash

Ok the halls are talking!

Slag

Where is that coming from???

Swoop

Swoop pushes himself up from the floor and looks at the PA. "SPIDERBOT!"

He cackles. ::Hi, Spiderbot.::

Snarl

Snarl yells to the void, "This not Dinocave. You dumb?"

Grimlock

Now the place is echoing back at him ! And it sounded like Spiderbot! Grimlock isn't a fan of hide and seek on the best days.

"WHERE YOU SPIDERBOT HIDING! COME FACE ME GRIMLOCK!"

Slag

Slag is just gonna skeedaddle further away from the scene of his crime. He didn't do it. You can't prove shit, echoing head voice. "Me Slag not at home. Me Slag here "

Snarl

It's a complete accident how correct his sentence is "This is a TOR."

Sludge

Sludge looks up, trying to find the source of the new voice. Spiderbot?

Slash

"THIS PLACE DUMB!!" Slash snarls. Ok she’s going to do some Climbing now.

It’s time to find a way out of this dumb place.

---

(tl;dr - the Dinobots tear up the Tor and Tarantulas adores them during every second of it, until he’s somehow forced to give the destructive children back to their proper guardians.)

[ckret2]

Hopes for the new idw series? I don’t know the guy whose writing but apparently he’s a big deal.

Anonymous said:Ohh what are your hopes for the idw reboot? Like what you’re seeing so far?

I've got two asks now, I should probably answer this question!

I like that we're apparently starting with a Cybertron that's at peace, connected to the wider galactic community, and healthy. We never have a Cybertron that's at peace, connected to the wider galactic community, and healthy. I hope it stays that way for a while before it inevitably descends into war. Realistically speaking, they're probably going to spend the very first plot arc explaining how Cybertron plummets from "not so much as a murder in millennia" to "war" in a dozen issues; but I hope they really drag this sucker out before we get to war.

The fact that Cybertron is peaceful, prosperous, and gets along with its neighbors also sorta implies that Cybertron isn't currently a crapsack with an oppressive social hierarchy, which I think will be fun to read. "Are the Decepticons REALLY the bad guys, or were the true bad guys the GOVERNMENT?" was a delightful spin when it was first introduced, what, in TFA? But now we've had TFA, TFP and all its supplementary materials, IDW, hints of corrupt Autobot leaders in bayverse, and even Cyberverse implies that the 'Cons were originally fighting for a more just cause, and I'm like, you know what? I think I'm satisfied for now. I enjoy the Decepticons as a popular uprising against tyranny that tragically fell into tyranny itself, but I've got my fill of them. I'm ready for a new story about why the war started. Make the Decepticons an organized crime syndicate that just kept gaining power, or something. I'd say "make THEM the corrupt leaders that the Autobots have to fight against," but we probably wouldn't have a prosperous Cybertron that's on good terms with aliens if we started with that, would we?

I also wanna see these aliens that the Cybertronians are supposedly on good terms with. Usually the world starts out so small in Transformers' series—we've got Earth, or Cybertron and Earth, and then we either stick with only them or we gradually over the years expand to other alien worlds. It'd be cool if this series starts out with all the vastness of the broader galactic community and only gradually shrinks down.

As much as I enjoy master manipulator Prowl, I'd like it if this Prowl is, like, a little more popular. Just a little. Particularly, inside the comic itself. I'm sure the current IDW fans will hold onto their hatred for Evil IDW Prowl and project that hate onto all future Prowls with the same ferocity with which geewunners have nursed their collective thirty year grudge against Hot Rod; but in the comic itself, at least, give him some friends and people who like and admire him. I've got high hopes for Chromia.

And I'm hoping there will be some odd character interactions, like, unexpected friendships/relationships across future faction lines. Tracks and Needlenose being brothers? That was fantastic. Cyberverse Wheeljack and Shockwave hanging out and making dancing robots? That was brilliant. Give me more of that, please. That's one of the best benefits of pre-war stories, characters can be friends who wouldn't even look at each other without drawing guns during the war.

idk yet what they're gonna do with Starscream's backstory—he's had so many, but I hope it's either "common soldier" or "scientist," or else something new with a similarly low starting point. Backstories where Starscream has always been a politician or royalty or whatever don't do anything for me because part of what I enjoy about his dumb power grabs is that he's an underdog desperately fighting to grasp something he's never had before: power, prestige, respect. If he was a leader before the war, then that's not there. He's a disgraced politician fighting to regain what he already had, or to get more of what he already had, and that doesn't interest me.

And I hope for Quintessons! Maybe make them the season one baddies and don't even touch on the war until season two? That'd be neat.

[smokeybrandreviews]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: You've Got The Touch

I’ve decided i’m in love with Hailee Steinfeld. Ma has dusty two of my favorite franchises with her magic and they are shining real bright right now. She was spectacular as Spider-Gwen (or, Ghost Spider, as she’s adopted after this nonsense Spider-Geddon event) and, with Bumblebee, she does it again. This movie was good. So good! and, yes, that was a Spider-Man 3 reference. I’m about that life!

The Great

Everything about Cybertron. Everything. All of it. I was loosing my sh*t when Wheeljack and Arcee showed up. They were GLORIOUS! and the Seekers? Oh, sh*t and Ravage?? No, f*ck that! Actual Soundwave! I was a little bummed Screamer didn’t get a speaking role but watching the Seekers take off on Shockwave’s order was beautiful. I dropped a single, manly, tear of joy.

All of the redesigns are perfect. The proportions look right and the kibble. Oh, the kibble! You can actually see what part goes where and how they go from vehicle to robot. Bay did this for, like, two movies and then he just gave up on it. Not here. Travis Knight actually decided to, you know, have is Transformers, transform. Good call.

Speaking of Knight, he did a fantastic job directing this flick. It’s paced beautifully and the action is very grounded. There are some issues that crop up here and there, mostly continuity stuff, but nothing as egregious as what Bay gave us. In a lot of ways, this is an anti-Bayformer movie and it’s one hundred percent better than all of them. It’s staggering how good this concept can be realized when given to an actual director of film and not some SFX loving jackass who doesn’t know the difference between executing a narrative and stringing along a ton of f*cking explosions.

I touched on this in the opening, but Hailee Steinfeld was amazing in this. Her Charlie Watson was a combination of the best parts of Sam Witwicky and Mikaela Banes. She was smart, gorgeous, funny, capable, and not at all superfluous. There was actual sh*t for her to do and, as a character, has ends her f*cking arc with actual growth! She legitimately ended up in a completely different place than from where she started and it i was glorious! Thank you, Hailee Steinfeld, for being good at your job and not phoning sh*t in for a check. I will love you forever.

This is an actual, honest-to-goodness, movie. It has a plot, stakes, and proper narrative. Sh*t that gets called out in the first act, actually comes into pay in the third. There are relevant scenarios and relationships that matter outside of the core, main, cast. Everyone has agency in this. The characters feel like real people and not just superheroes who are immune to everything because of plot armor. it’s not just a series of million dollar set pieces, sprinkled with explosions and sexism, strung together by the flimsiest of coincidences. There’s no mcguffin, just legit pathos and consequence and i’ve waited my entire life for this sh*t!

The Good

For a flick that started off as a prequel, then became kind of a re boot that had to go into re-shoots and whatnot, this motherf*cker is absolutely solid. It holds up much better than ll of the Star Wars abortions. Still, you can ind of see where they wanted to go in regards to connecting with the Bayformer franchise. I don’t think that’s going to be necessary anymore.

The soundtrack was pretty interesting. There was a ton of 80s juice and, being a kid from that era in love with all of the synthpunk and whatnot, i dug it. Kind of feel like it could have been a little better though.

There are a ton of one-off supporting characters that do a decent job but the fact they’re so disposable seemed like a missed opportunity. Like, a little more time with the bullies could have made the resolution to that particular plot point a little more gratifying.

The Meh

Dirge wasn’t Starscream and that sucked but Screamer had a pretty dope cameo and that was dope but i gotta wait until a goddamn sequel to get my boy onscreen, proper.

John Cena is kind of a one-note actor. He’s never not playing a soldier. I get that’s why got him over in the WWF but really bro? Is that the extent of your range? I hear he did alright in Blockers and that Amy Schumer vehicle but those were both sh*tty films that i passed on. All i know him from is this, the WWF, and that weird movie they released where he was in the Woods? maybe he was AWOL? i dunnno, but he’s ALWAYS a soldier and that’s whack, son.

The Verdict

Bumblebee is f*cking awesome! I've waited 30 goddamn years to get a great, live action, Transformers movie and this one is it!There are some issues with certain characters and it totally feels like an Iron Giant/E.T. rehash but that kind of falls by the wayside when this thing hits it’s stride. There are a few plotholes here and there, nothing too major or that will take you out of the flick if you can suspend your disbelief, something that EVERYONE should be able to do with ease after those god awful Bayformer sequels. F*ck Michael Bay, man! This is a G1 fan's (me) wet dream! There are so many Easter eggs and little nods to all of the franchises. Bee is adorable, Charlie is a bad ass, and Jack Burns doesn’t overstay his welcome. It also makes my top 10 list for 2018. Bumblebee, darkhorsing the list like a champ! Check this one out! Seriously, this one lives up to the hype 

[lets-try-some-writing]

I read the story about the tiny feral Orion Pax and I want a second part where Alpha Trion randomly showed up at the Autobot base and told stories about how feral Optimus was when he was just a sparkling to the Autobots and humans alike. I think Ratchet might remember the incidents as he might have had to repair the little monster a few times

Hmm well I doubt he'd actually turn up at base proper, but I CAN see Smokescreen being the one to speak of things Alpha Trion told him. Bonus funnies if he has no clue that "Orion Pax" Is Optimus Prime.

The other piece with Trion can be found here. Plus the series of Smokey things this is attached to can be found here.

━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙ ━━━━━━━━━━━━

For once, the base was filled with laughter and cheer. After a particularly stressful battle, Wheeljack had seen fit to bring out high-grade for everyone's enjoyment. To 'let off steam' he said. Ratchet attempted to shut down the idea before it could fully root itself in the minds of those present, but surprisingly, Optimus permitted it. Perhaps the rumors weren't entirely true. Maybe Primes did party.

It hadn't taken long for the Wreckers to pull out cubes and start handing out Wheeljack's special brand of high-grade.Smokescreen had never been given the chance to indulge in the drink, but now that he was a warrior and Alpha Trion wasn't breathing down his neck, the overcharged liquid flowed freely. He felt a bit like a sparkling with his servo caught in the goodie jar, but he relaxed upon seeing Bumblebee whip out a straw and start going to town on his cube.

Admittedly, watching Bumblebee fuel was a bit unsettling since he lacked a good portion of his jaw, but Smokescreen simply refocused on his own treat.

The high-grade was sweet, almost like candy that had been melted down. And yet it was also bubbly, bordering on the texture and taste of a ration a few cycles from going bad. Despite both those things, Smokescreen found he enjoyed the drink, especially as a pleasant buzz started to run along his systems. The world seemed all the brighter as the high-grade quietly sent his auxiliary sensory protocols into hazy inactivity. Was this what the humans felt like all the time? Limited just to sight and hearing?

It was kind of novel.

As the high-grade flowed, Smokescreen noticed that the team seemed to share his feelings on the matter of overcharge. Before too long, bots laughed and sang; a few even began to open up. Smokescreen watched it all from the sidelines for the most part, listening as the Wreckers began exchanging stories and Arcee went into detail about a few of her more exciting missions. Even Bee chimed in with a retelling of some fun events that went on during training. But the story swapping didn't really get wild until Ratchet of all bots spoke up.

"There was this one time I had to patch up Orion. He apparently decided it would be a fantastic idea to attempt parkour like Jazz. Without any training, no less." The team laughed. Smokescreen snickered into his drink. The name Orion sounded familiar, but it was not something that immediately registered in his memory banks.

"Jazz dragged him into my clinic with a broken leg, one dislocated shoulder, half his plating shredded, and his right audial half torn off." Ratchet laughed, nudging Optimus with a shoulder. The Prime didn't comment and instead smiled softly as he sipped his drink. The team joined the medic in his mirth, commenting quietly and giggling like younglings.

"According to someone, 'it seemed like a great idea at the time'." The medic chuckled into his high-grade, more than a little buzzed due to it. As he did so, Smokescreen recognized the name at last.

"Oh, I think I know who you are talking about! Orion Pax! The head archivist! Alpha Trion told me all about him!" Smokescreen's words, thank Primus, didn't end up coming out too slurred as he spoke up. The team paused in their activities, their optics falling on him in interest. Even Optimus's optics widened in what he could only assume was interest. Smokescreen suffered momentary stage fright, but he continued on with his thought.

"Trion said that Orion was brought into the archives when he was still a sparkling, and that he was a little menace." Ratchet laughed outright at the statement, slapping Optimus's shoulder in amusement before going back to his drink all giggly. Wheeljack poured himself and the rest of the team another cube in response.

"Well, don't keep us waiting, kid. What'd the old cogger say?" Wheeljack grinned like a terrorcon, earning a baleful glare from Optimus. Smokescreen, however, in his high-grade fueled stupor, didn't recognize any potential danger and continued on with his story. Everyone seemed to be enjoying it after all.

"I never would have guessed the head archivist would be the way he was, but according to Trion, he liked to lick datapads." There was a momentary silence, one only emphasized by Optimus staring at Smokescreen in horror. He almost regretted opening his mouth, but that fear went flying out the window as Ratchet cackled and promptly slapped the nearest surface as he wheezed out his laughter. He was almost incoherent as he pointed at Optimus, his optics flashing with emotion only brought out by overcharged drinks. "I fragging knew my medical texts had fluid on them!" Smokescreen stared at Ratchet in momentary concern, but his focus was drawn back to the story he was telling as Arcee gave him a wolfish grin along with a question.

"He licked datapads?" The two-wheeler looked to be trying desperately to keep her composure. Smokescreen couldn't exactly blame her. There weren't many bots who had habits like the old head archivist. Licking datapads of all things, he could hardly picture the sanitary concerns. But then again, Smokescreen wasn't much better with a few of his well-hidden preferences.

"Yeah! Guess the head archivist thought they tasted good or something. Trion said Orion Pax never really got over the habit and occasionally gnawed on them when stressed." That was enough to have Bulkhead leaning against the nearest wall for support. Ratchet for his part dropped to his knees, clutching his abdomen as his vents flared in response to his howling laughter. He seemed to find it far more funny than anyone else, but the Doctor's reaction urged Smokescreen on, especially as Bumblebee snorted into his drink and splattered it on his face.

"That wasn't all he did, though! Alpha Trion told me all about how the head archivist used to climb the pillars in the archives! There were still claw marks in the metal when I was there." Another round of spark clenching laughter met his declaration. Arcee outright wheezed, trying desperately not to look in Optimus's direction. Bumblebee wasn't much better, or Wheeljack for that matter. Both looked a moment away from combusting as they tried to hold back laughter. Bulkhead just leaned harder against the wall, a servo brought up to his mouth as Ratchet cackled on the ground.

Smokescreen paused in his story, watching the team and their frantic attempts to not look at their Prime. He tilted his helm in confusion, watching as Optimus held his cube with a neutral expression. However, looking closer through his auxiliary heat sensing systems, Smokescreen could catch the faintest hints of what looked to be a blush of all things. Was this what the rumors meant when they said Primes didn't party?

"I was given the head archivist's old room while I was there, for that matter. It was just me with Trion most of the time, so I got the closest room to his, which just happened to be Pax's." Smokescreen rubbed his neck a little sheepishly, sensing that there was something he might have missed.

"He had some weird habits, sure. But I got to see a few of his old records, and he seemed really nice! Just a bit off is all." Somehow, his attempt at easing the strange tension coming from Optimus did the exactly opposite. He could almost see the way Optimus's shoulders slumped as Ratchet continued to lose his mind on the ground, drink forgotten.

"What sort of habits?" Bumblebee chimed in, his binary tones still a bit difficult to decipher, but not impossible. Smokescreen paused for a moment, unsure if he should continue seeing how stressed Optimus appeared. He wasn't sure why the Prime seemed so uncomfortable, but it was probably a good idea to not tempt fate.

"I uh… I don't want to damage the poor mech's reputation since he's probably not around anymore." Smokescreen fiddled with his drink, his enthusiasm dimmed. But before he could fully close himself off, Ratchet hobbled his way over, grinning and tapping Smokescreen's chassis.

"Go on, tell us about it. I can assure you, as one of Orion's oldest friends, he won't be upset." Smokescreen reset his optics. But seeing the entirety of the team, save for Optimus, looking enthused… well he couldn't exactly say no, now could he?

"Well, Orion Pax had a hero wall in his room. It was well hidden. I found it behind a wall panel that I kicked by accident." Every passing moment made Optimus look more and more willing to perish. All the while, the team leaned in closer, eager to hear to an almost rabid degree. Smokescreen was more than a little nervous, but he continued on.

"The whole thing was covered in posters and snippets of gladiators, various political figures, and a LOT of Soundwave pics. Guess Pax was into freaky mechs." Uproarious laughter met Smokescreen's words as Ratchet moved over to Optimus and slapped his arm, his optics bright and hazy from the high-grade and amusement. Finally, Optimus frowned in discontentment and Smokescreen took that as his cue to wrap up.

It seemed like the Prime was done with the whole partying business.

"To be fair, it was very beautifully put together!" More laughter met him, this time from Bumblebee and Wheeljack who had to lean on the nearest surface for support. Arcee just shook like a bomb about to go off, her grip on her cube shaky and uncertain as she fought back a smile. Bulkhead just wheezed in the corner.

Smokescreen fidgeted with his digits nervously.

"I… I saved something from his room, actually." The laughter eased for a moment as the team looked over at him curiously. Even Optimus's frown relaxed a degree as Smokescreen hastily dug through his sub-space. He didn't have to know why Optimus seemed so uncomfortable with the discussion. For all he knew, Orion might have been a good friend. It seemed like a good idea to pull out something less humorous.

It took him a moment, but soon enough, Smokescreen pulled out a small vial. It glowed blue, showing the innermost energon within it. Smokescreen almost felt bad holding the thing. Innermost energon was only meant for mecha important to an individual, and here he was, some random guardsmech who rooted around in the head archivist's room. The only reason he'd picked it up and shoved it in his subspace to begin with was because he originally intended to give it to Alpha Trion for safekeeping. Of course, that had to have been the very same night the attack on Iacon occurred.

"Is that-?" Bulkhead spoke up, but cut himself short as Optimus stepped forward, his optics wide.

"Innermost energon… a gift intended for an amica." Any laughter died in it's cradle as Optimus tenderly reached out. Smokescreen didn't hesitate to pass over the vial, watching as the mood shifted into something more solemn.

The Prime ran his digits over the small vial, his optics cycled wide as if he were a newbuild. His field pulsed in waves of old sorrow for a long moment, earning him a gentle touch from Ratchet once the Doctor composed himself enough to come closer. The rest of the team stayed silent, each of them seeming to know something important regarding Optimus and Orion Pax that Smokescreen was not privy to.

"Did you know archivist Pax? If that's the case… I'm sorry for throwing his secrets around. I just assumed that with the war and all, considering he was a civilian, he probably didn't…" Smokescreen trailed off, not wanting to meet the gazes of anyone present as the high-grade in his system eased enough to let him think clearly. What sort of aft mocked the dead? Slag, he'd messed up.

"I intended to gift this to Soundwave in the hopes that by being amica, we might be able to grow close enough to help Megatronus more efficiently." The words registered, but they did not fully compute as the Prime lifted the vial, watching it sadly.

"It was to be a bond to bind us for a lifetime, as Megatronus's right and left servos. His guides and aids in the battle for Cybertron's freedom." Ratchet held Optimus's arm, his field pulsing in age old grief that Smokescreen could hardly comprehend. The rest of the team simply observed.

"I planned to gift this token after our meeting with the High Council… but that event destroyed any brotherhood that might have lingered between us." A deep sigh escaped the Prime then, the air growing heavier with ancient regret.

"I lost more than just Megatronus that cycle. I lost so much more than him." With a weary flare of his field, Optimus held the vial a little longer before passing it back to Smokescreen. Only as he held it did everything click.

"You are Archivist Pax?" Optimus smiled ever so slightly at that.

"I was, long ago. But Orion no longer lingers here. He is but an echo of a happier time." With that, the Prime turned to leave, seemingly done with it all.

"Please, enjoy your evening. Do not allow my lamentations to ruin your celebrations." Without another word, Optimus hurried off toward his hab. The team watched in worry for a while, and Smokescreen fiddled with the vial while contemplating the implications of everything. But eventually, the team returned to their activities. Wheeljack put on a movie and poured more drinks. Bulkhead set up makeshift seating, Bumblebee sat down to watch the film with Arcee. Ratchet, for his part, passed out without meaning to five kliks into the movie.

Smokescreen took the opportunity to step away and follow after Optimus, soon finding himself knocking on the Prime's door.

When it opened, Smokescreen held out the vial, his door wings dipped in anxiety.

"I'm sorry for saying all that stuff about you! I didn't mean anything by it! And… I'm sorry I brought up bad memories." He didn't look up, he couldn't bring himself to. Without intending it, he'd hurt Optimus's reputation and brought up old losses. He'd messed up.

"Smokescreen."

Optimus's voice was gentle, almost sad as he reached out and pressed the vial back into Smokescreen's servos. His optics widened in shock, quickly forcing him to start up at the Prime in confusion.

"Do not feel guilty for what you have done. It was in good faith, and I know your spark." The Prime smiled tenderly as he clasped Smokescreen's shoulder, a fond gesture that seemed both so very right and wrong all at once.

"This is yours. It's your innermost energon. Don't you want it back?" His question rang out, unanswered for a long while. But after a klik, Optimus shook his helm.

"It is a remnant of a time long gone by. I would rather it come to new servos and represent something other than what it was originally intended to signify." With that, the Prime's servo moved down. The next thing Smokescreen knew, Optimus was holding his servos, a kind expression on his face.

Why? Why would Optimus trust him with such a thing?

"I don't understand." He murmured faintly as he heard the distant sounds of the movie playing in the background.

"You were also a student of Alpha Trion. You served him as I did, so long ago." Optimus, to Smokescreen's shock dropped to a knee to put them on equal level. He had no words. How could he? Optimus was on his knees just so they could speak at the same level.

"We are all that remains of our master, and in a sense, that ties us together." Smokescreen's field flared in disbelief, but also… relief. He'd been alone in his thoughts since his arrival. The team didn't know him, so they didn't really talk to him. The humans were nice enough, but they could never understand.

To know he had someone who cared? Who knew the loss?

"We're kind of like brothers then." Smokescreen laughed softly, nervously even. But Optimus didn't refute him. The Prime simply hummed and squeezed his servos. Somehow, that simple act conveyed more than words ever could.

"Keep this token of my youth, Smokescreen. Erase the sorrow it brings with a new promise, or perhaps remembrance for our departed teacher." Quietly, Optimus released his grip and stood back up, his expression strangely peaceful. He stood in his doorway for a while, seemingly thinking. Then, he nodded.

"If all else should fail, remember me, little brother." Then, just like that, the door slid closed.

Smokescreen stared for a while, unable to move. When he did, he meandered back to his room in silence, staring down at the small vial.

"Brothers…"

He murmured into the night, and as he did so, his view of the Prime shifted. Optimus was his leader, his idol, his Prime.

But beneath all that, hidden behind layers of rank and order, was someone he could trust. Someone who understood.

A mech he might one day dare to openly call a friend.

[smokeybrand]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: You've Got The Touch

I’ve decided i’m in love with Hailee Steinfeld. Ma has dusty two of my favorite franchises with her magic and they are shining real bright right now. She was spectacular as Spider-Gwen (or, Ghost Spider, as she’s adopted after this nonsense Spider-Geddon event) and, with Bumblebee, she does it again. This movie was good. So good! and, yes, that was a Spider-Man 3 reference. I’m about that life!

The Great

Everything about Cybertron. Everything. All of it. I was loosing my sh*t when Wheeljack and Arcee showed up. They were GLORIOUS! and the Seekers? Oh, sh*t and Ravage?? No, f*ck that! Actual Soundwave! I was a little bummed Screamer didn’t get a speaking role but watching the Seekers take off on Shockwave’s order was beautiful. I dropped a single, manly, tear of joy.

All of the redesigns are perfect. The proportions look right and the kibble. Oh, the kibble! You can actually see what part goes where and how they go from vehicle to robot. Bay did this for, like, two movies and then he just gave up on it. Not here. Travis Knight actually decided to, you know, have is Transformers, transform. Good call.

Speaking of Knight, he did a fantastic job directing this flick. It’s paced beautifully and the action is very grounded. There are some issues that crop up here and there, mostly continuity stuff, but nothing as egregious as what Bay gave us. In a lot of ways, this is an anti-Bayformer movie and it’s one hundred percent better than all of them. It’s staggering how good this concept can be realized when given to an actual director of film and not some SFX loving jackass who doesn’t know the difference between executing a narrative and stringing along a ton of f*cking explosions.

I touched on this in the opening, but Hailee Steinfeld was amazing in this. Her Charlie Watson was a combination of the best parts of Sam Witwicky and Mikaela Banes. She was smart, gorgeous, funny, capable, and not at all superfluous. There was actual sh*t for her to do and, as a character, has ends her f*cking arc with actual growth! She legitimately ended up in a completely different place than from where she started and it i was glorious! Thank you, Hailee Steinfeld, for being good at your job and not phoning sh*t in for a check. I will love you forever.

This is an actual, honest-to-goodness, movie. It has a plot, stakes, and proper narrative. Sh*t that gets called out in the first act, actually comes into pay in the third. There are relevant scenarios and relationships that matter outside of the core, main, cast. Everyone has agency in this. The characters feel like real people and not just superheroes who are immune to everything because of plot armor. it’s not just a series of million dollar set pieces, sprinkled with explosions and sexism, strung together by the flimsiest of coincidences. There’s no mcguffin, just legit pathos and consequence and i’ve waited my entire life for this sh*t!

The Good

For a flick that started off as a prequel, then became kind of a re boot that had to go into re-shoots and whatnot, this motherf*cker is absolutely solid. It holds up much better than ll of the Star Wars abortions. Still, you can ind of see where they wanted to go in regards to connecting with the Bayformer franchise. I don’t think that’s going to be necessary anymore.

The soundtrack was pretty interesting. There was a ton of 80s juice and, being a kid from that era in love with all of the synthpunk and whatnot, i dug it. Kind of feel like it could have been a little better though.

There are a ton of one-off supporting characters that do a decent job but the fact they’re so disposable seemed like a missed opportunity. Like, a little more time with the bullies could have made the resolution to that particular plot point a little more gratifying.

The Meh

Dirge wasn’t Starscream and that sucked but Screamer had a pretty dope cameo and that was dope but i gotta wait until a goddamn sequel to get my boy onscreen, proper.

John Cena is kind of a one-note actor. He’s never not playing a soldier. I get that’s why got him over in the WWF but really bro? Is that the extent of your range? I hear he did alright in Blockers and that Amy Schumer vehicle but those were both sh*tty films that i passed on. All i know him from is this, the WWF, and that weird movie they released where he was in the Woods? maybe he was AWOL? i dunnno, but he’s ALWAYS a soldier and that’s whack, son.

The Verdict

Bumblebee is f*cking awesome! I've waited 30 goddamn years to get a great, live action, Transformers movie and this one is it!There are some issues with certain characters and it totally feels like an Iron Giant/E.T. rehash but that kind of falls by the wayside when this thing hits it’s stride. There are a few plotholes here and there, nothing too major or that will take you out of the flick if you can suspend your disbelief, something that EVERYONE should be able to do with ease after those god awful Bayformer sequels. F*ck Michael Bay, man! This is a G1 fan's (me) wet dream! There are so many Easter eggs and little nods to all of the franchises. Bee is adorable, Charlie is a bad ass, and Jack Burns doesn’t overstay his welcome. It also makes my top 10 list for 2018. Bumblebee, darkhorsing the list like a champ! Check this one out! Seriously, this one lives up to the hype.

[headcanons-in-disguise]

Romantic Headcanons anon or RH anon for short. I just read it and I love it! It's so good and I'm glad I requested it. I don't mind if you don't do some characters and some poly ships. I'll make sure not to request them again. Is it ok if I request for Wheeljack and Bulkhead separately?

*slides closer*

*puts hand on back*

My friend, you can request anything your heart desires. Imay not have anything in the tank for it, or may not personally ship it, but, Idon’t mind in the least.

 Wheeljack:

Always thought he’d be a loner and then holy primus what is this feeling.

One of those love at first interaction deals. So cute, andsweet, and nice. He was either goingto purge or fall hard and it was definitely the latter.

Has literally no idea how to do this so literally justblurts out ‘you’re cute’.

Facepalms when they get obviously embarrassed. Nice goin’,Jackie.

Makes up for his lack of tact with gifts. And flights in theJackhammer. And war stories.

Loves to show off.

Once his s/o is more comfortable, he’s a flirting menace.Compliments all the time, winks, little suggestive grins. Pray he doesn’trealize he can use his holoform.

When he does figure out he can use his holoform, he willrandomly appear to grab his s/o up.

Really needs this human to balance him out.

No one thought the relationship would work but it does.

Even Bulkhead’s surprised. Miko’s ecstatic.

Ratchet’s having an aneurism because Wheeljack is now tryingto figure out how reproduction might occur and that is not okay.

 Bulkhead:

Terrified that he’s going to harm them in some way.

Miko is a fantastic wingman. And the one who helps him getover that fear.

Likes long drives with his s/o.

A simple bot who tends to forget things like anniversaries,which is why it’s important that his s/o is so kind and patient.

Totally gets introverts, and will give them as much time asthey need.

Likes to talk to his s/o about anything and everything.

Wants to know everything about them.

Is glad that they actually listen to him when he tells themto stay behind for their own safety.

Especially loves that they get along with his childMiko.

Thinks that his s/o is the cutest thing ever and kinda loomsprotectively without realizing it.

[verdigrisprowl]

Jan 2 Lost Light Stream - Transformers Prime 37-40

Prowl is slowly working to overcome his fear reaction to the appearance of Insecticons, by focusing on Knock Out instead when they show up. Chromedome didn’t come, which made things easier.

He theorized on why the Nemesis’s reaction to dark energon was different than other bots’, winced repeatedly at Knock Out’s pain, played along when half the room attempted to convince Wheeljack that Prowl is a ghost, and agreed to get pictures for Soundwave of Earth’s progress rebuilding New York City.

Soundwave suggested that Prowl might be able to win a phase shifter in their proposed testing-Soundwave’s-security game.

Welcome to the 'lostlightstream' room. Shockwave II changed their nickname to Shockbox. Shockbox changed their nickname to Shockbox. Rodimus: *music so emo* Shockbox: (( oh boy you guys.)) Shockbox: (( today's the day.)) Airachnid: [sneaks in] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((OH BOY OH BOY MY BOY)) Shockbox: (( the day we get to see **the best character** make his first appearance.)) Rodimus: *points at the spide* Rodimus: You been mising! ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave trudges in, nods to the others already there, and settles into his usual couch in the back. It's going to be an... interesting night.* Rodimus: We been seeing you be a better Starscream Airachnid: I was otherwise engaged. Whirl: *trots in and immediately stakes his claim of the Whirl Couch* Airachnid: aka mun was playing Moon)) FakeProwl: *appears. today, he's doing a far more thorough check of the room than usual before looking for a seat* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Zori sees Airachnid and shoots RIGHT for Whirl* Rodimus: *rubs chin then smirks* Hey Soundwave I heard this rumour recently... Does you Skywarp push others down stairs? ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave pings Prowl hello - no mnemosurgeons that he can see now - and looks to Rodimus* Whirl: *perks up!* Hey, Professor! ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Our Skywarp is missing. Again.]] FakeProwl: ((check the rafters)) Rodimus: Huh--- welll when he is unmissing ItsyBitsySpyers: ((lmao)) ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Sometimes.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((hope you had fun with moon airachnid mun!!)) Shockbox: *He enters and makes his way towards the couch closest to the front.* Windchill: *APPEARS.* Whirl: ((YE 8) )) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Buzzsaw settles near his new Intellectual Friend.* FakeProwl: *well. it looks clear. for now.* Whirl: *he will graciously make room for Zori and swivel his head around for the usual crowd* Whirl: *let's jam everyone on the couch tonight. COUCH PARTY* Airachnid: it was! I loved it)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Also, you know that whole time marker and description thing? For the Insecticons? Prowl's getting them again.* FakeProwl: *sits with Soundwave between himself and the door* Rodimus: You ever hear stories of -who- he pushed down some stairs? Windchill: *Make room for his butt, Whirl. It's coming.* FakeProwl: *MORE tonight? oh, fantastic. he'll probably walk out into the hall by himself and run into chromedome.* Shockbox: *Nods at buzzsaw.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Just turn your optics off. He can notify you.* Windchill: (( I might be slow to respond to things, my net is being RATHER UNFORGIVING tonight. )) FakeProwl: *that's what he plans on doing* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Knows Prowl is an avatar but will keep the avatar 'safe' anyway. Rumble and Frenzy join Whirl, Windchill, and Zori* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[It'd be easier to ask who he -didn't- mess with, Rodimus.]] Whirl: Hey, Rodders, you taking requests? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[And not every trick was so lightsparked.]] Whirl: *eexcellent. There's probably going to be some piling up since there's so many people on the couch bbut Whirl is prepared to be a seat if need be.* Whirl: ...*for rumbble and/or Frenzy. And Zori. Sorry Windchill, he'll die if you sit on him* Rodimus: Oh? *snickers* Sounds like you got stories! I been slumming it for new ones myself! FakeProwl: @Soundwave «I'll leave my avatar idle while those scenes are on. If he comes in while I'm unalert, warn me.» Windchill: *Many people can be piled on Windchill as well.* Windchill: *Are you calling his butt big, bro?* Whirl: *No. I'm calling it gargantuan and also deadly* Rodimus: *looks over to whirl* Ueah I can play one for you, whatcha want? Windchill: *He will accept this as a compliment.* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Understood. If departure not wanted, comfort given during Unicron session returned. ItsyBitsySpyers: *He doesn't know whether Prowl values appearance over distance* Bruin: *has arrived, and remembered his giant cushion so over to the far wall they all go* Whirl: This Magic Moment--the Drifter's version. Whirl: But Lou Reed's ain't half bad, either. Rodimus: ...Really? Rodimus: ok ItsyBitsySpyers: [[There was the time he found Tracks comatose after a battle and replaced his wheels with much, much smaller ones.]] Whirl: Yeah, it's different, but all right. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He was scolded for allowing Tracks to live, but the footage of Tracks' return trip to base -was- entertaining.]] Whirl: He's got a really unusual voice. Haven't listened to a lot of Lou, though. Rodimus: Its so sappy silentsoundy: --heh-- Whirl: ...OH. You mean the song--well, yeah. *deadpan look* A lot of good songs ARE love songs. Just works out that way. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Laserbeak zooms over to Bruin. Not to his helm though, no. She remembers better.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Nods a greeting to his alternate.* FakeProwl: @Soundwave «No comfort. If I stay, I don't want to give him any indication that we're close.» Whirl: *he will not sing over it, though; the room is spared* Rodimus: *crinkles nose* Erth does mostly write those silentsoundy: --Alternate-- ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Understood. Shockbox: *3/4 waves present.* Bruin: *good Spotter is fine with the company so long as no helm perchihng is attempted* Whirl: *shrugs* I mean, yeah, it's sappy, but d'you hear that harmony? Those STRINGS? Whirl: *Whirl doesn't mind sap, either, but he is not gonna ADVERTISE that* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Pleased Whirl can appreciate these things* Whirl: *everyone should appreciate the Drifters* Windchill: *He's crossing his legs. Anyone with a mind to sit on him, which is no-one, is losing their opening.* Whirl: *will lean back and prop his feet up on that lap, as per usual* Once again, I offer all denizens of my couch the use of my lovely footstool. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Sounds like a Velocitronian song.* Rodimus: I like music that more in time with me I hate slow ones! Windchill: Really? Windchill: I thought you were rather slow. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Heheheh.// Whirl: I like multi-layered songs, myself. Once that have a whle lot of moving components, when they all come together, it's pretty cool. Whirl: ...*SNICKERS; OHH WINDCHILL, U DONE DID IT* Rodimus: *sideeyes WC* What? Windchill: *Banned from the Lost Light forever.* Windchill: I said, I thought you were slow. Whirl: You two should race. Rodimus: Obviously you must be then~ silentsoundy: --oh, this tune he rather enjoys-- Windchill: It wouldn't be much of a race. Rodimus: What is even your alt mode Chill? ItsyBitsySpyers: *Ravage decides to go sit with the alternate. It's been some time and, well. His own carrier unit is occupied.* Windchill: I'm a seeker, can't you tell? FakeProwl: *for the record, Prowl is currently about 85% convinced that Whirl and Windchill have an ongoing Dom/sub relationship of some kind* FakeProwl: *it's the whole living furniture thing they've got going on* Rodimus: That... that isnt an alt mode thats a job ItsyBitsySpyers: *Prowl's not the only one.* Windchill: It's a frame type, means my alternate mode is a jet. Rodimus: Even I can say "Ima seeker" big deal Windchill: Not where I'm from, you can't. Rules might be different here. Rodimus: I race wheels not wings Windchill: *You people keep your thoughts to yourself, WEIRDOS.* Windchill: Why, because you know you'll lose? FakeProwl: *says whirl's footrest* Rodimus: Heh so you are a jet ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave's already shaking his helm. This was one of his former Lord's stupidest moments.* Airachnid: Oh I missed my alternate failing miserably. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Be thankful.]] Whirl: *OMFG PROWL LMAO* Rodimus: *that explains some things* Airachnid: I like to laugh at her. Whirl: He's a Blackbird, presently. Windchill: I already said that I was. Rodimus: Megs dont frag your ship Shockbox: *Tilts his head at the screen.* Whirl: Really goddamned fast. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[In that case, he will send you the relevant clips before you leave.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[A question, Shockwave?]] Airachnid: Very well. Windchill: *He'S NOT WEIRD HE'S NORMAl. YOU PERVS.* Whirl: *he'll also swivel his helm around to bob it at Airachnid; her absence was noted* Airachnid: ..hello Whirl. Whirl: *(BE QUIET FOOTSTOOL* Windchill: *NO* Windchill: *NOBODY IS THE BOSS OF HIM.* Whirl: Hey, Legs. Highgloss: Oh! Look what I walked in on! FakeProwl: *don't worry, prowl is accepting of your kinky lifestyle* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Greetings, Knock Out.]] Highgloss: Lovely. Always a pleasure to remember. Shockbox: Negative. I am merely interesed in this 'dark energon'. FakeProwl: *hECK. it's the hot doctor.* Shockbox: ((*interested )) Airachnid: [cringes] Highgloss: And to you, Soundwave. Windchill: *You walked in on Windchill not being embarassed when he ought, congratulations.* Rodimus: *hops up on the back of his couch and perches* agooddistraction: what's happenin ItsyBitsySpyers: [[The literal fuel of Unicron, Shockwave. A corrupting, enslaving force never to be touched.]] Windchill: Anyway, my point still stands. Whirl: Is. Windchill: Rodimus...is slow. Whirl: Wait, Whirl: Is he... did I miss something. Is he--*antenna pins back* Whirl: *IS HE FUCCIN THAT SHIP U GUYS* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Of all the nights for Knock Out to visit, it's the one with - well. They'll see.* Rodimus: I am not race me on wheels FakeProwl: *side glance at Soundwave. did you hear the thing shockwave just said. obviously you did but Did You Hear That* Windchill: Why should I stoop to your level?

Missed some.

ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He foolishly believed the power he gained was worth losing ownership of his spark and his reason.]] Airachnid: Megatron. Rodimus: Come in a hang out we are watching a case bad choices! Windchill: *Please calm yourself.* Airachnid: Why. Whirl: ...This ship is awesome. Windchill: *Snorts.* agoodidstraction: zapped Bruin: Ouch Rodimus: OH YEAH THAT REMINDS ME! agoodidstraction: yapped his zap Windchill: You say that, but you haven't seen 'im in root mode. Whirl: *snickers* I didn't know you guys' ship was alive. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[If only your mouth could be.]] FakeProwl: *idle mode* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Our ship was not alive. It was Trypticon. Deceased. In an alternate form.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...What was your ship, Knock Out?]] FakeProwl: *annnd back* Shockbox: As impressive as this iteration of Lord Megatron is, it does seem he is less...hinged. Highgloss: It was. Shockbox: *muttering.* Highgloss: Regrettably. agoodidstraction: zap the yaps agoodidstraction: oh frag red zapped Whirl: Ohh. Highgloss: Hmm. I always wondered how it got me. Highgloss: One of life's little mysteries solved. Whirl: Hmm. Interesting. When you use dark energon to resurrect a ormal-sized Cybertronian, they're just. ravenous. Dumb. Windchill: *Snorts.* Whirl: But the ship wasn't. I wonder why that is. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He believes it was possessed.]] Whirl: By Unicron himself? Rodimus: Or blow the ship up? Whirl: Seems to have its own agenda, though. Wouldn;t Unicron have immediately just attacked Megatron? *taps the underside of his helm thoughtfully* Whirl: AND THERE, that--Unicron KNEW about humans. Seemed to be able to perceive them. FakeProwl: What would Unicron want with the Iaconian relics? Airachnid: Unicron was most likely still in some form of stasis. FakeProwl: Perhaps those infected with dark energon are reduced to their base instincts. agoodidstraction: doc knock Highgloss: Ugh. Ughhhh. Windchill: *Crosses his fingers.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Hmm. These are good points.* agoodidstraction: i'm sorry red Highgloss: UGH. FakeProwl: A Cybertronian's base instincts would be to feed. FakeProwl: A ship's base instincts would be... whatever task it was last programmed for. agoodidstraction: and frag ItsyBitsySpyers: *Oh, listen to that reasoning. It's good reasoning.* agoodidstraction: anyone here ever fragged a ship before Airachnid: No. Rodimus: *raise hand* FakeProwl: *... he's not raising his hand. it would just encourage wheeljack.* Windchill: *Shakes his head.* FakeProwl: But you said your ship was a Cybertronian? Was his brain module removed or reprogrammed? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Reprogrammed.]] agoodidstraction: fragging a ship would probably just kill you though wouldn't it FakeProwl: *nods* Perhaps that would do it. agoodidstraction: why are humans always toast? ItsyBitsySpyers: //Cuz they burn easy.// Whirl: Well, yeah, but your points, Prowl, would make sense if it was reanimated, like I suggested. Highgloss: I imagine ours would be bad in berth. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Pffft.// Rodimus: Your ship seems liek a dom! Whirl: If it was POSSESSED, then it wouldn't have a ship's instincts; it wouldn't have any instincts except for those of the possessor. Highgloss: Clumsy, clammy hands, then he'd go around telling all his friends you loved it. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\SO WHEELJACK.\\ FakeProwl: If it was possessed, then it would be doing its possessor's will. Windchill: *the what* agoodidstraction: but is fragging while possessed any good agoodidstraction: yeah? FakeProwl: Unicron, so far as we know, has no need for the Iaconian relics; and he WOULD know to keep an optic out for humans. FakeProwl: Reanimation appears more likely. Highgloss: Apologies, Wheeljack, for how hard I laughed at that. ItsyBitsySpyers: *No, no, Frenzy was insulting you WJ.* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Reanimation then. It is still vile.]] agoodidstraction: bj agoodidstraction: no keep laughing Airachnid: Indeed. Rodimus: I dont think i'd analog frag a ship... I PnP'd him agoodidstraction: hey airachnid ya old *** Whirl: *nods slowly; Whirl finds it more interesting than anything else* agoodidstraction: ever spider *** a possessed ship before Whirl: *and he likes the ship's attitude, what can he say* Airachnid: ..... what is it Wheeljack? Whirl: ((THE BUTT)) Whirl: *LAUGHS* Airachnid: I have not. Jitterbun: ((Butt butt) Jitterbun: (And There goes Trypticon)) Whirl: *he is also no gonna join in on this fragging  aship convo* agoodidstraction: would you? Airachnid: No. agoodidstraction: lame Airachnid: I don't exist to amuse you. Whirl: *snickers* agoodidstraction: okay *** ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He must know. Had you already woken?]] Jitterbun: What exactly was it that froze 'em all? Jitterbun: -ah! agoodidstraction: hahhfe hasdbla agoodidstraction: doc Whirl: *LAUGHS AGAIN* agoodidstraction: what just happened Rodimus: Hey KO's got some handy hand holds for humans *smirks* Whirl: Everybody getting their afts handed to em tonight! Windchill: Beautiful. Rodimus: *laughs Ratchet plz* Airachnid: [that amused her a lot] Shockbox: *And the aesop for this episode? Do not feed nonsentient machines with dark energon and make sure your security systems know to check for organics.* Shockbox: *Shockbox feels educated.* Highgloss: Those handy hand holds are *not* for humans. Those were not consensual handy-holds. Jitterbun: Geeze, always with the violence and arms race's with ya'll ItsyBitsySpyers: *Shockbox is a quick learner.* Windchill: *Also, maybe, killing someone and using their corpse as your space boat is a bad idea as a matter of principle.* Shockbox: *Naturally.* Rodimus: *looks Knockout over and then grins* Fair enough FakeProwl: *... that begs the question of who the hand holds are for. sideways glance at the hot doctor.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *...Now, look. Nobody thought he was going to be doing that.* Whirl: Yep. That's what we're best at, Jitter. *zoops his neck up over the couch to try and locate Jitter* Rodimus: *engine purrs at he other speedster* agoodidstraction: oh boy FakeProwl: *he is, unfortunately, even more attractive in person.* Windchill: RUDE. Windchill: *It's true though, he's never met a personable Insecticon.* Shockbox: *Lost Light Stream: otherwise known as Everybody Wants to Frag Knockout* Windchill: *WRONG.* Jitterbun: *Unphased he nods jovially towards the outstreched neck.* .... agoodidstraction: face man Shockbox: *Correction: The Majority Would Frag Knockout* Jitterbun: Sorry t' speak for all ya, but the Doc's got some high standards. Airachnid: [thank you] Rodimus: ...Even our has subways ItsyBitsySpyers: *"Face man": exactly what Soundwave isn't.* FakeProwl: ((you can't read everyone's minds, jitter)) Airachnid: [then again, she doesn't want to frag anyone] Jitterbun: ((Whopse didn't see the * there) Highgloss: Ugh. I can smell that awful city through the screen. Windchill: *Nods.* agoodidstraction: zap ItsyBitsySpyers: [[What -did- it smell of?]] Windchill: Big feet problems. Jitterbun: ((Purple Eradicons~) Whirl: *also looks over, curious; he's never sniffed a human city* Rodimus: I never been to New York it was trashed before I got the chance! *huffs* Airachnid: [it's not that great] Windchill: That's almost fortunate. Highgloss: Hot dog water, among other things. ItsyBitsySpyers: =Ugh.= Whirl: *LAUGHS* Listen to her! FakeProwl: ((vogel is the best human in the show)) Whirl: Right off the bat, just lying her face blue! What a little trooper. Whirl: ((Fowler tho..................... but yeah Vogel is great 8) )) ItsyBitsySpyers: @Rodimus: [[Your Decepticons managed to destroy the city?]] Windchill: Everything is from outer space. Rodimus: *laughing* Windchill: Even I'm from outer space. Whirl: Not me. Whirl: I'm from Polyhex. FakeProwl: *is attempting to power it through the insecticon screens by focusing on knock out. he's gotta desensitize himself to insecticons somehow.* Jitterbun: What's all this tech doin' on the planet anyway? Whirl: That's cool, the crawling on the ceiling thing. FakeProwl: *it's helping a little.* Airachnid: Who knows. Shockbox: *Everything is technically from space, because everything is technicaly /in/ space.* Windchill: Yeah, it's...something. Jitterbun: *Obviously not watching the pervious epsides leaves him out of hte loop.* Whirl: ((omg careful prowl. You're gonna Pavlov yourself and every time you hear a WALALLA you gonna get honry)) Airachnid: Why Cybertron and this mudball are connected so much who knows. ItsyBitsySpyers: ((OMG)) Highgloss: Dear Unicron, I look good. Windchill: Thanks, Shockwave. FakeProwl: ((better a boner than a panic attack)) Windchill: ** agoodidstraction: yeah you do Whirl: They explained it a lot of episodes ago, Jitter. Long story. Windchill: *Forgot those ItsyBitsySpyers: }}A fine choice of weaponry, Doctor.{{ Whirl: Yeah, gotta give credit where it's due. *swivels his helm around and flips KO a lazy salute* Highgloss: Thank you, thank you! silentsoundy: --motions a farewell towards his Alternate before taking his leave-- Jitterbun: //DELTA// *He'll settle down behind good company now. Those are some vicious mechaoids* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Bobs his helm to his alternate. Do come again.* Windchill: *Rubs his eyebrows* Rodimus: *hmm? oh!* @SW ::Let's just said our kinda was very not welcome there! I'll see if I can get pic lata:: Shockbox: *we're back to half of our maximum wave-age* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Acknowledging ping. Thank you, Rodimus.* Whirl: *if you can find room here on the couch Whirl won't kick you off, Jitter. Granted, he's using Windchill as furniture at two minicons are probably using HIM as furniture. And there's a giant scorpion* Windchill: *There's totally room.* agoodidstraction: oh Rodimus: Doc you are pretty sleek--- but seems you may need *winces* agoodidstraction: ouch Airachnid: [LAUGHS] Jitterbun: *WINCES* Windchill: *Curls his upper lip* FakeProwl: *wince. partially at the paint. mostly at the sound it made.* ItsyBitsySpyers: //Oof.// Jitterbun: ..y'know, I'm thinkin' iI'm not real fond of the documentary type films. Rodimus: ---Some hand-tohand work. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Glances at Prowl. Inquisitive ping.* ItsyBitsySpyers: \\HOW COME?\\ FakeProwl: *?* FakeProwl: *counter-inquisitiveness* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Prowl winced. Unexpected. Knock Out: Decepticon. Whirl: (9YES)) Whirl: You've got some pretty good moves with that polearm, though. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «It looked painful.» Whirl: *Whirl is not perhaps as attracted toKO as Prowl & Others but he has his merits* Jitterbun: *There is some releif in watching a fellow twowheeler tearin' up the dirt* Windchill: You gotta admit, Trouble would be a pretty good name. Rodimus: Knock Out whats your earth alt? Or it a costum? ItsyBitsySpyers: *Nod. This security tape comes with some serious sympathy cringe feelings.* FakeProwl: ((i like how it's Prowl & Others. like everyone else's attraction is a footnote compared to this thirst.)) Whirl: Yeah! I named my Flobster Trouble. Whirl: ((It is. DO YOU REMEMBER LAST NIGHT)) FakeProwl: ((I REMEMBER LAST NIGHT.)) FakeProwl: ((dem seatbelts)) Rodimus: ((roddi's was hte metal on metal noise Windchill: *He's not just saying that because naming things, Insecticons specifically, is something he'll be doing in the near future. Shockbox: (( sounds like prowl needs to take a sip. )) Whirl: ((Highgloss, last night during a stream of mine I put a still of KO's neck on the screen and played "Let's Get it On" in the background,)) Whirl: ((for reference)) FakeProwl: ((and made hearts around it with the cursor)) Whirl: *GRUBCHILD. SOON* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Brief moment of admiration for Arcee.* Airachnid: [gives a quiet hiss at the screen] Highgloss: Beautiful. Well done. Whirl: *CAN'T WAIT TO TEACH NEICE GRUBCHILD BAD HABITS* Airachnid: [why did it have to be Arcee] Whirl: ((yes i did that too. and also did that with Soundwave and his pivot)) Windchill: *WHY DO YOU KEEP STEALING ALL THE GOOD NAMES THOUGH, WHIRL.* Whirl: *BECAUSE I'M EXCELLENT AT NAMING THINGS* Jitterbun: ...do mecha in this universe make a habbit of ejectin' anythign in their cockpits durring transformation, or is it just him? Whirl: Yeah, you guys' Arcee is a badass, too. Windchill: *CURSE YOOOOOOU.* agoodidstraction: kjsdf FakeProwl: @Soundwave «I want one of those.» Jitterbun: *And that's a fairily anDY TOOL dangit poor mecha* FakeProwl: *also: another cringe for knock out.* Windchill: Ow. Windchill: ((HELP.)) Jitterbun: He's lucky thats all that happened. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Perhaps if Prowl wins security game. Whirl: ((VOGEL'S FACE WHEN HE SAYS THAT)) Highgloss: And that one eventually landed me in the operating room. Windchill: (( I think we were all Vogel in that moment tho )) Highgloss: Thank you for that one, Autobots. FakeProwl: *oh well now he's Incentivized* Whirl: You're lucky you were going up against THOSE softies, Doc. Whirl: I don't LET my enemies retreat. Highgloss: And how's that worked out for you so far? Whirl: *this statement would probably seem more badass if Wghirl wasn't buried under a bunch of ex-Decepticons* Rodimus: Alot less enemies Whirl: I'm still here, they're not. So, pretty good, I'd say. Airachnid: [rolls optics] I hate suckups. Whirl: Ugh, I know, right? Windchill: Oh my god, he's back. Whirl: ...also, question. *swivels is helm around* How come he never considered YOU for the job, Chatterbox? FakeProwl: *well, he's got guts.* Highgloss: Oh, you absolute aft...*why?* Windchill: *All good things must come to an end.* Airachnid: What a coward. FakeProwl: *... never mind. no he doesn't.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave's plating ripples in a shiver. The antarctic.* Airachnid: I've operated on myself plenty of times. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[For which job?]] Shockbox: *Shakes his head. Of course starscream wouldn't be able to do it.* Whirl: Second in Command. agoodidstraction: who is she Whirl: You obviously were loyal. You seemed pretty competent, too. Ship-related mishaps aside. *that was spoken with faint amusement* agoodidstraction: ydd agoodidstraction: yeehaww!!! agoodidstraction: yeah! Windchill: *Spits.* agoodidstraction: i'm cpabal agoodidstraction: ??? Whirl: Let's see your moves, then, Wheeljack. Rodimus: Megs apparently needs his secound to not be as nuts as him Shockbox: (( oh boy one of the best parts. )) Windchill: *Steeples his claws before his pursed lips.* Windchill: *What is he seeing?* agoodidstraction: i'll show youmy moves Whirl: For the record, I still find the fact that you're a Wrecker the most hilarious thing about your dimension. You know what OUR Wheeljack is like? A nerd. A total nerd. Rodimus: But only slightly FakeProwl: ((his fricking scooter)) agoodidstraction: i used to be a nerd Whirl: ...well, I meant in regards to the documentary, but if you wanna fight, then hell yeah, I'll fight ya. Airachnid: Do you not realize that you went AWOL? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Primarily because he didn't want it.]] Windchill: *It's almost hard to believe these two are the same frametype.* Windchill: *Much less the same as HIMSELF.* Whirl: *he definitely noticed THAT* Whirl: *tilts his head* ... fair. And, y'know. It's pretty obvious that you only listened to the SIC when you felt like it. Whirl: *it;'s one of your better qualities* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[It was also not a position for a mech like him. His skills were best utilized elsewhere, and... he was not always worthy of being watched as closely as the SICs.]] Whirl: ((...what he noticed what Soundwave listening when he felt like it. Thanks LS)) Windchill: (( Dreadwing's flipping OWL FEET. )) Whirl: *nods again* Gotcha. Rodimus: *pew pew* Whirl: *man it's a shame that Dreadwing's such a disgusting syncophant because otherwise. Wgirl could Properly Appreciate someone firing a weapon like that* Whirl: *alas, his attitude is so UNattractive* Windchill: Why. Whirl: This must be fight night or something. Rodimus: Ha! Whirl: Not that I'm complaining, mind you. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Something like that.]] Windchill: Did he forget he could fly? Windchill: Or is he just slow? Windchill: *Everyone is slow, what is he talking about.* Rodimus: Hawt Whirl: ha. Whirl: ((ALL CAPS REQUIRED)) Whirl: *HA Whirl: Nice, Airachnid: Even Prime hates Starscream's groveling. agoodidstraction: bixx agoodidstraction: soundwave ItsyBitsySpyers: [[What.]] agoodidstraction: who is she ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Who is who?]] FakeProwl: *did Optimus forget that a few weeks ago they were trying to take Starscream in as an ally?* agoodidstraction: reALLy ItsyBitsySpyers: *Evidently. He never understood why they didn't try again.* FakeProwl: *and that the only reason they didn't was because his own subordinate ruined their chances?* Whirl: Ah, what a lovely sound. Airachnid: I think it was a much longer time period. FakeProwl: *it's inconsistent and it's foolish.* Windchill: You would think so. Whirl: Their human guy isn't too shabby, either. Airachnid: Also, Starscream would have just stabbed them in the back eventually. ItsyBitsySpyers: *It is a Prime.* Rodimus: I wish our whip was that cold again.... Rodimus: *EXCUSE YOU* agoodidstraction: whoa Rodimus: ((ship* omg ItsyBitsySpyers: //So they drain him of info 'n terminate 'im before he does the stabby stabby.// agoodidstraction: soundwave you got inhibitors ItsyBitsySpyers: //Ain't that how it's done?// ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Not with him. Why?]] agoodidstraction: i'm gonna die Whirl: Huh. Whirl: *eyes this armor skepitcally* Whirl: Looks awful stiff. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He will be sure to play something appropriate at your funeral.]] Windchill: Great, now he looks like a doughboy. Windchill: I'd say it's an improvement. agoodidstraction: if i die you can't kill me ItsyBitsySpyers: [[The Doctor is still here, he thinks. Ask him.]] Airachnid: I imagine it isn't that maneuverable. Whirl: Yeah, ad maneuverability, as you can no doubt tell, is my forte. Airachnid: We get it. You killed Cliffjumper. Airachnid: I don't even brag about my kills that much in front of Acee. Windchill: His lone achievement. *Hand over boob.* agoodidstraction: he's grabbin him like a doll FakeProwl: @Soundwave «The Decepticons invented Apex Armor?» Whirl: I can't even remember all the kills I've made. I didn't get all of their names, either. Whirl: *shakes his head* Must be a sad existence. Being Starscream. Airachnid: I imagine it is. Rodimus: IMa speed and grace guy myself too Windchill: Sure you are. agoodidstraction: hdgkaf agoodidstraction: good one ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Unclear. Early records damaged. Two stories: Solus Prime invented, Decepticons invented. Airachnid: And there are mecha that think his voice is attractive. Airachnid: I pity them. Whirl: Agreed, Legs. Whirl: I will admit--the ship had a nice voice though. agoodidstraction: oh agoodidstraction: wow agoodidstraction: i never fragged up that hard FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Does the armor have any weak point?» agoodidstraction: and my friends are all dead ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): User. FakeProwl: *snorts* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave trembles slightly. He's amused by Wheeljack's comment* Windchill: Good grief. Windchill: Swords, man. Windchill: Ridiculous. agoodidstraction: soundwave if you're cold i'll cuddle ya ItsyBitsySpyers: //Man, what's wit' all the-// Rumble flails his arm around. //Can't he jus' sheathe the fraggin' thing?// Whirl: *sighs; it's such a damn shame that his personality is so terrible, because wow. Those moves. THE GUN. THE SWORD* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[You will NOT.]] Whirl: *SUCH A DISAPPOINTMENT* Windchill: *THE SWORD IS DUMB.* Whirl: Yeah, honestly, like... swords are cool, but all the fancy twirling doesn't impress me. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave sits up and glows just a teensy bit brighter.* Windchill: It's some kind of contest, I think. Whirl: Hack someone clean in half. Then I'll be impressed. agoodidstraction: fineb itch Windchill: "My sword is bigger," you know. Whirl: ((AT LAST))

Missed some.

ItsyBitsySpyers: *PLEASED* Whirl: *snickers at the constant nicknaming* Whirl: Oh, hey, it's you, Chatterbox! ItsyBitsySpyers: *Nods his helm at Rodimus. Yes, it will. Mostly* ItsyBitsySpyers: {{Peh. Bird sleeping.}} ItsyBitsySpyers: *She drops down and docks on his back.* Whirl: 8AN AERIAL BATTLE? AT LAST* Windchill: *Only took over a season.* Rodimus: *grins @ SW* FakeProwl: *respectable maneuverability* Whirl: *it's passable* FakeProwl: ... "Surveillance drone"? agoodidstraction: heyyy Whirl: *AWW GO LASERBEAK GO* FakeProwl: Ignorance or disrespect? agoodidstraction: it's always time to be hotdogging ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Both.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave sees that grin.* Windchill: *He suspects his definition of "hotdogging" is vastly different than what is suggested here.* Whirl: To be honest, I'm not surprised that y'all can outmaneuver that ship. ugh, just LOOK at it. Whirl: It's dreadful. I'm surprised it can even keep UP. Airachnid: [chinhands at Ratchet] agoodidstraction: first time he screamed in the jackhammer FakeProwl: ... *covers mouth. ratchet's scream tho.* Whirl: *flips a mournful salute* Well fought, Bird. Whirl: ...*wow did he just commend a Con. He did. Well.* Whirl: *Stranger things have happened* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave tilts his helm, passes the message on, and... Laserbeak's voice comes out of his speakers.* Windchill: If that's all it takes to down that thing, colour me unimpressed. ItsyBitsySpyers: {{...Thanking.}} Windchill: Also, pink. Whirl: Aaand yeah. Not surprised it crashed. No offence Wheeljack, but your aircraft is garbage. agoodidstraction: i miss my swords agoodidstraction: frag you ItsyBitsySpyers: *Quietly reassures her. She did very well.* Whirl: Not likely, mech. *sly look* Windchill: *Puts up his middle finger.* Whirl: You've yet to impress me. Rodimus: *glances at Laserbeak and thinks a moment then back to the screen* agoodidstraction: oh i'll impress ya agoodidstraction: i'm sexy Whirl: I'll believe it when I see it. ItsyBitsySpyers: =We are not PETS.= Bruin: *angry hissing, leave her alone* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Annoyed growl from Ravage.* Airachnid: Ratchet's so brilliant. Windchill: It's not that grand an idea. FakeProwl: *eugh.* agoodidstraction: noodles agoodidstraction: loud noodles ItsyBitsySpyers: *Appreciates Bruin's hiss. Pings him so.* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Feelers.]] agoodidstraction: NOODLES Shockbox: (( i find it a little personally ridiculous this virus thing actually worked. )) FakeProwl: *it's a perfectly pragmatic plan, but eugh.* ItsyBitsySpyers: ((it IS ridiculous but i have to go with it)) Airachnid: because humans have to be "winners")) Whirl: *SNICKERS* Airachnid: and be better than the bad ol Decepticons)) Whirl: *LET'S STUFF A CHICKEN IN SOUNDWABE* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Long stare at Wheeljack. This one isn't responsible for doing this to her, but - such resentment fades slowly.* Whirl: *OPEN WIDE CHATTERBOX* Whirl: Dang, those feelers are versatile, mech. agoodidstraction: *stares back* Shockbox: (( because somehow a script kiddie is just as good at computers as a cybertronian master spy. )) agoodidstraction: *sticks glossa out* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Ahh. Here we are.* Windchill: Oh good, time to fight. Whirl: *OHO A FIGHT. BETWEEN THESE TWO?* agoodidstraction: yeah!!! agoodidstraction: *** ItsyBitsySpyers: *Pleased bob.* Whirl: *sits ALL THE WAY UP* agoodidstraction: let's fight Airachnid: [perks up slightly] FakeProwl: *... ooh.* Highgloss: You two couldn't have picked a better setting for it. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[We really couldn't.]] Whirl: Wicked. agoodidstraction: ohhhhh Shockbox: */Very/ impressive fighting from soundwave.* ItsyBitsySpyers: [["Be aware of your surroundings" comes to mind.]] Whirl: *snickers* FakeProwl: *shudders at the noise that thing makes.* Rodimus: I wanta spar you Noddles!! Windchill: *Crosses his arms* Whirl: *well, hot damn. Soundwave, you just went from a 6 to a solid 8 my mech* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[You will be a long time waiting.]] Rodimus: *wines* Whyyyyy ItsyBitsySpyers: *Note to self: if he ever recovers another Resonance Blaster, keep it away from Prowl.* Whirl: *WELL HOT DAMN AGAIN HOW CAN HE NOT APPRECIATE THAT PROTECTIVE INSTINCT* FakeProwl: @Soundwave «I'm beginning to get the distinct impression you were going easy on me when you let me land on you.» Whirl: *he will acknowledge it 0% though* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He has plenty of actual fights to keep his skills honed. He does not need to spar.]] Rodimus: *pouts* Whirl: ((i have yet to hear this owl)) ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Not -easy-. Shockbox: (( soundwave's biolights are so gorgeous in this scene. )) Whirl: ........................ Whirl: *(CAMERA PLEASE NOT WITH THE WIGGLIES* Whirl: *PLEASE* Rodimus: Lewd~ Whirl: Well. ...er-hem. Sorry, Wheeljack. You did not impress me at all. Whirl: Better luck next time. agoodidstraction: oh whatever Whirl: Hey, I calls em as I sees em. Whirl: And I know what I'm about. Windchill: *Rolls his eyes.* Windchill: *SNORTS* Rodimus: *snorts* agoodidstraction: wow Airachnid: [LAUGHS] Rodimus: *inmature snickering* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Stare.* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[What.]] Rodimus: *hand waves* Whirl: *blinks* Shockbox: (( hackers are most usually damn good at security. still can't believe that nonsense.)). Rodimus: Now thats it for the night! Whirl: These documentaries sure love their cliffhangers. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Thank you. He enjoyed the majority of the last one.]] Highgloss: Thank you for the jaunt down memory lane! ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Do come again, Knock Out.]] Whirl: And, credit where it's due. Whirl: You kicked some skidplate, Chatterbox. *nods* Rodimus: Your both welcome! Yeah nice to see you back anytime~ *winks* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Wheeljack: [[2-0.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Bobs his helm.* agoodidstraction: rematch agoodidstraction: let's rematch Windchill: Sometimes... Airachnid: I do not think that will bode well for you. Whirl: I'll sell tickets! agoodidstraction: REMATCH Rodimus: Nowai! If he isnt going to give me a spar certinally not getting one! Airachnid: But, it'll be amusing. Windchill: One has to accept when they SUCKED the first time. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[And destroy his own investment? Please.]] Windchill: And move on. agoodidstraction: i don't wanna spar, i want a rematch Windchill: *Except, nobody's going to let anyone move on, ever.* FakeProwl: @Soundwave «You could probably open a space bridge straight under his feet and instantly win.» FakeProwl: @Soundwave «And—added bonus—he'd be out of the room.» Whirl: Well, if he won't, I'll fight ya, Wheeljack. Whirl: *will fight anyone, really* Shockbox: (( now you're thinking with portals. )) Whirl: *he'll fight himself if he can find another Whirl* Windchill: WHAT. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Prowl, devious. Soundwave appreciates. agoodidstraction: Okay i"l fight you Windchill: You never seem to get around to fighting ME, *he points at himself.* Whirl: *perks up considerably* Hell yeah! Windchill: But you'll go fight that moron? Whirl: I'll fight you, too. Whirl: Both of you. At the same time. Windchill: I'm offended. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «I prefer "practical."» *but there's a thin smirk* Whirl: Anyone else want some? *clicks his claws aggressively* Airachnid: [she needs to find a way to watch this and now] Whirl: You were asking for a sparring partner, Rodders, I'll fight YOU. Rodimus: I can spar you anytime... *bored flop* Windchill: I'm not teaming up with him. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\NAH. TOO EASY.\\ Rodimus: I want NEW ones! Windchill: A three-way, MAYBE. agoodidstraction: did you call me a moron Windchill: I did, moron. Whirl: Pfft, you talk a big game, Frenzy. agoodidstraction: i know you are but what am i Windchill: A loser. Whirl: ((oh *** that reminds me they DID have a fighting thrad)) FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Maybe wait until they dogpile each other and bridge them all out at once.» Whirl: ((appropriately it was right after whirl said "yeah i'd boink Frenzy")) agoodidstraction: i'm not a loser Whirl: ((I will get to hat)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((yes they do)) Windchill: Are you certain? ItsyBitsySpyers: *Be still his beating spark. Prowl, he can't headbump you here. Stop saying delightful things.* Windchill: I believe we all just witnessed you LOSING. Whirl: I'll fight this entire room! Airachnid: No thank you. Rodimus: *sprawling speedster ozzing onto the floor* agoodidstraction: okay i lost this one but Windchill: We know, Whirl, we know. *Pats his foot, reassuringly. We know.* Whirl: Aww, really legs? *swivels his helm over* You look like you'd be a fun fight. Whirl: You've got some moves, yourself. FakeProwl: *politely lifts his feet out of the way of the Rodimus ooze* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Join them, Rodimus.]] Windchill: There's no buts. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[It could be amusing.]] agoodidstraction: red agoodidstraction: is he still in here Airachnid: I would rather not. Shockbox: *Clasps his hands and observes the ruckus.* Rodimus: Meh--- just sounds like Swerve's rn and I can get that tommorrow agoodidstraction: knock out Whirl: *also SW we all know what'd happen if you interrupted whirl's fight with a bridge. Doing that means you Join the Fight* Whirl: Suit yourself. Airachnid: Maybe another time. Windchill: Pfft! agoodidstraction: ffrag Whirl: *optic flickers* Hey, just lemme know, mech! Whirl: I'd like that. Windchill: DISGUSTING. Whirl: ...are you talking to me, Windchill? Windchill: Naturally. Rodimus: *so bored and huffy now sitting on the floor* Whirl: *hey, you were given an offer and you turned it down* Windchill: *HE'S NOT TEAMING UP WITH AN AUTOBOT TO FIGHT YOU.* Rodimus: *he can fight whirl whenever! he wanted new ppl!* Whirl: *SUIT YOURSELF* Windchill: Do I not get first dibs? ItsyBitsySpyers: *Why not fight the Wheeljack?* Whirl: And what about you, Chatterbox? I'd take you AND your team on. *swivels his helm again* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave would looooove to see that.* Rodimus: *cause he already saw him loss!* Windchill: I will fight. Windchill: If I have to. Windchill: EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM. Windchill: And PROVE TO YOU. agoodidstraction: GO ItsyBitsySpyers: [[You would lose. We -earned- second place in the Pits.]] Windchill: It's me you should be fighting. FakeProwl: *flatly* Pass. agoodidstraction: fight fight fight fight fight agoodidstraction: no prowl fight me agoodidstraction: fight ifght Whirl: You think I'd walk away from a fight like that? Pfft. Whirl: That's all the more reason to DO it. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\SOMEBODY JUS' PUNCH -SOMETHIN'-, PRIMUS.\\ agoodidstraction: FIGHT Rodimus: *great now it does sound like swerves* Airachnid: [she's gonna back away, just in case] Windchill: *PUNCHES HIS OWN FIST, HAPPY?* ItsyBitsySpyers: *YEAH SORTA?* FakeProwl: ... *sighs* Soundwave, may I use you for a demonstration? You don't have to move. agoodidstraction: *NO PUNCH HIM* Windchill: *GOOD ENOUGH.* Rodimus: Take it to the training halls first I dont have the pits set up here Windchill: Consider me Windchill: MORTALLY OFFENDED. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave glances to Prowl. What's this then...?* agoodidstraction: punch me ItsyBitsySpyers: *He'll trust his ally. A nod.* Whirl: I might never have fought in the pits, Chatterbox, but I survived the Dead End. I wouldn't count me out. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Wait, you got a Pit in the hall?// Windchill: *Groans loudly and flops back in his seat, DRAMATICALLY.* FakeProwl: *looks straight at Wheeljack. lifts up one hand. observe.* Rodimus: We got a small one at Swerve's FakeProwl: *sticks hand through Soundwave's arm. waves it around a little.* FakeProwl: You can't fight me. ItsyBitsySpyers: *OH well okay that was. Unexpected.* Whirl: Oh, yeah. We forgot to tell you, Wheeljack. Our ship is haunted. FakeProwl: *withdraws hand.* Rodimus: Porwl ghost Whirl: By the ghost of Prowl, may Heqet rest his spark. Windchill: Yeah, by a big baby who won't fight us. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[It would be a fight, Whirl, not a survival game.]] Shockbox: *but will wheeljack presume prowl is using a phase shifter?* FakeProwl: *opens mouth.* ... *shuts mouth. he's not going to argue.* Rodimus: He is really dead--- *shakes helm( So tragic ItsyBitsySpyers: //I wanna see this Swerve Pit. Ain't nobody told me ya got one.// Whirl: Same difference, in the Dead End, mech. agoodidstraction: what Windchill: What what, in the butt. agoodidstraction: ? agoodidstraction: ?? Whirl: If you don't WANT to, you can just say so. But your intimidation talk is having the opposite effect you think it does. Whirl: Sometimes, I think I can still hear his voice... Rodimus: Check the screen ItsyBitsySpyers: //Pfff! Ya call that a PIT?// FakeProwl: *flatly* It was a traumatic end. Windchill: Looks like any old bar, BORING. agoodidstraction: ??? Windchill: Though, granted. Whirl: It was a freak peanut butter accident. Windchill: It's not so boring once you start fighting in it. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Where's all the spires? The flamin' trash piles? The giant spikes?// Rodimus: That middle table collapses in a small pit for wrestling mostly ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave invents an obituary for Prowl on the spot and places it on his screen.* Windchill: You couldn't even fit ME in that thing. FakeProwl: *oh, leans forward to read it.* agoodidstraction: but he's right there????? Rodimus: Guess we didnt get the Koan package mech. *shrugs with a grin* ItsyBitsySpyers: *It's mostly a serious tale of overheating due to peanut butter clogged vents and exploding. There are a few flattering details though.* FakeProwl: *... sits back. covers mouth.* Rodimus: @SW ::May story for his death was better* Whirl: *hand over spark* We're so fortunate to still have his ghost with us. To... share his. Ghostly wisdom. Whirl: And perform humorous parlor tricks. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\WHAT, AIN'T NOBODY TOLJA 'BOUT GHOSTS? AIN'T YOU FRAGGIN' THE BEE WITH THE FLOATIN' SPARKSCREAM?\\ Rodimus: Yeah Jackie--- didn't you know the matrix can make ghosts appear? FakeProwl: Don't lie to them, Whirl. agoodidstraction: what agoodidstraction: yeah but Airachnid: ...what? ItsyBitsySpyers: @Rodimus: [[What story?]] Whirl: *sighs* Okay. Okay. FakeProwl: Everyone knows I'm only good for rattling chains and waking people up at three in the morning. Whirl: He doesn't ACTUALLY--yes, that. agoodidstraction: i mean the prime was always talkin to ghost agoodidstraction: iwhatg Windchill: You're definitely no good for fighting. Whirl: But, you know, if you're already up at three in the morning, he's good for a conversation. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Prowl's story, disregardable berth activity rumor mentioned? Whirl: Chains and moaning aside. agoodidstraction: i'mabut how are you schlurpin that spike if he's dead ItsyBitsySpyers: *You know what's great about visors? You can make any face you want behind them and nobody can see.* agoodidstraction: i know all about chains and moaning ItsyBitsySpyers: *...Which is especially vital after comments like Wheeljack's.* Windchill: *Palm, meet face.* Airachnid: [disgust] FakeProwl: ... Pffft. @Soundwave «No, the rumor of my death is completely novel.» Whirl: *tilts his head and stares at Wheeljack with the blankest expression ever* I don't follow. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Any /living/ rumors about me keeping people up at three in the morning with chains are probably true.» agoodidstraction: what don't ya follow Whirl: Any of that. Rodimus: *snickering* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Soundwave will believe rumor when experienced. Whirl: *just blinks slowly; the fact that his expression is just his eye means Whirl can pull off the best poker face imaginable* FakeProwl: @Soundwave «... Except perhaps the three a.m. part. I prefer to have concluded any activities by then.» ItsyBitsySpyers: *Ravage is as disgusted as Airachnid. He can go over to her and keep her company during their nonsense.* agoodidstraction: so anyway oral is amazing Airachnid: Why are you like this? Whirl: Oral? Whirl: *blank. stare* Rodimus: PFT! agoodidstraction: yeah ORAL agoodidstraction: O R A L Whirl: Oral what? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[The world needs -someone- to be its fool, Airachnid.]] agoodidstraction: SEX ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Noted. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Well. He's not attempting to fight me anymore. I'm not certain this is an improvement.» Airachnid: I thought that was Smokescreen. Whirl: ...*peers* That's not where sex happens, Wheeljack. Airachnid: Do we need any more? Whirl: I dunno who told you that, but they were yaking your chain. agoodidstraction: ??? Rodimus: *glances at the door thinking a moment of all the slag he still has left* Whirl: *POKER. FACE* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Smokescreen is the unfortunate sap. Different role.]] Shockbox: *This scene has been...extremely amusing.* Airachnid: Hmm. Touche. Shockbox: *But it's snack table time, now.* agoodidstraction: okay tell that to bumblebee Whirl: I don't know any Bumblebees. Airachnid: Be thankful. agoodidstraction: you don't even know mine? Airachnid: They are annoying. Whirl: But, you know. Okay. I'll relebt. *drapes a claw over his chest* I'm being very narrow minded, here. Comes with the lack of peripheral vision. Whirl: Maybe other mecha have their sex organs in their mouths, in different dimensions. ItsyBitsySpyers: *WHIRL* Whirl: That's not where I keep mind. Obviously. Whirl: *WAIT *** OKAY HE FORGOT AGAIN BUT POKER FACE POKER FACE* agoodidstraction: airachnid i'll kick your *** face in *** Whirl: How rude. agoodidstraction: whirl what the frfag did you smoke Whirl: Hey now, no cutting in line. I get to fight her first. Whirl: Smoke? Windchill: Not until you fight me, bro. Airachnid: I would like to see you try. agoodidstraction: why would someone's array be in their mouth Whirl: Well, apparently yours are. Whirl: Since you frag with your mouth. agoodidstraction: i USED my mouth though Windchill: *Raises hand* agoodidstraction: what Bruin: *plating very ruffled up, he's thoroughly pissed about the eppisode still * Bruin: *the normal rediculousness is a nice distraction though* Whirl: I don't get it. Whirl: *continues to blankly stare* How? Rodimus: *face drops into hands* Windchill: Does that mean my giggity bits are in my armpits, because- ItsyBitsySpyers: @Shockbox: [[Leaving? This time he will not send Frenzy.]] Airachnid: [at this point she isn't surprised by this coversation] Windchill: *he'll just lower his hand, now.* agoodidstraction: whirl what the frag Windchill: *The damage has been done.* FakeProwl: *... okay, this is sad, prowl feels like he has to help out* agoodidstraction: okay whirl do you have uh agoodidstraction: what kind of stuff ya got? ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): "Improvement" impossible near Wheeljack. "Status quo" best option. Whirl: Claspers, actually, but they;re in the usual place. *gestures to his groin* agoodidstraction: okay but what do you have down there agoodidstraction: like Rodimus: *checks to room to see if any mechs look bothered with the current chatter* Whirl: I just told you. agoodidstraction: ????? FakeProwl: Whirl, are you familiar with the concept of applying tactile stimulation to a partner's interstate array with parts OTHER than one's own interface array. Shockbox: @Soundwave: Not yet, but soon. May as well add to my stores while the others are distracted. agoodidstraction: no like agoodidstraction: you know how i don't have a spike but bee does FakeProwl: **interface FakeProwl: ((INTERSTATE ARRAY)) Whirl: I didn't know that, actually. Shockbox: *ngl he doesn't get like 60% of this sex talk because that's not how his universe works* agoodidstraction: okay well now ya know Airachnid: I wheezed when I read that)) Whirl: @Prowl: Yes. I one hundred percent am, But I am also one hundred pecent winding him up. agoodidstraction: are you a spike mech or a not spike mech Windchill: You learn something new, every day. *Said as flatly as possible, which is quite a lot.* Bruin: ((interstate? thats a really big spike)) Whirl: *now looks to Prowl* I mean, in theory. Rodimus: We are all no spike mechs ItsyBitsySpyers: @Shockbox: [[Understood. He will see this continue if he can.]] Whirl: Well, yeah, I've got claspers. Same thing. Rodimus: *stands up to start putting the fuel away* FakeProwl: @Whirl «... You fooled me too. Carry on.» Whirl: I'm sure I'm not the only one in the room who does, either. *snoirts; that bit is genuine* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Or not. Rodimus, what timing you have.* agoodidstraction: CLASPERS? Rodimus: *snickers spike is such a stupid name for the dongle* Whirl: @Prowl: Don't worry. We can pretend you were in on it. FakeProwl: *he did not think Whirl was capable of that patiently messing with someone.* Whirl: Yes! Shockbox: *He's able to finish taking what he needs before rodimus starts cleaning.* Whirl: Congratulations, you have basic listening comprehension! ItsyBitsySpyers: *Learn something new every day, Prowl.* agoodidstraction: okay agoodidstraction: ya ever let anyone put their mouth on your claspers? Rodimus: *you steal rodimus's fuel again?* FakeProwl: *well then. he'll sit back and let this play out.* Whirl: No. Shockbox: *stealing! haha, no, no. shockwave? never.* Whirl: That seems like a stupid thing to do, with all those TEETH. FakeProwl: *... and now prowl is wondering if he actually has claspers or if that's just messing with wheeljack too* Whirl: Why would anyone even do that. Rodimus: *he will stop you unless you agree to his terms*

Missed a very tiny bit. Maybe none at all. hard to tell.

agoodidstraction: it's not made up ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave knows if Whirl does or not but a) he doesn't know Prowl is wondering and b) he's not sure he wants to admit he knows.* Whirl: *maybe not but his feet feel ALL OF IT* Whirl: *DON'T SAY IT LIKE THAT SOUNDWAVE GDI YOU MAKE IT SOUND WORSE THAN IT IS* Whirl: Yeah, yeah. Nice try. I'm ot falling for THAT one. Pfft. ItsyBitsySpyers: *PAYBACK ASTERISKS FOR THE MOUTH ORGAN BIT* agoodidstraction: whirl you're high FakeProwl: *prowl is used to people comparing their mods in bars. he'd just assume whirl went over to soundwave's club while it was open* agoodidstraction: knock out told me how to do it Windchill: Oh, well I'm sure he'd know all about it. Whirl: Anyoine could just CHOMP them right off! agoodidstraction: yeah that's why i asked him FakeProwl: *whoa hello there now prowl is thinking about knock out's mouth. okay. all right. okay.* Whirl: Why would you DO that? Shockbox: *after barely making off with a relatively small bit of fuel, he walks briskly over to soundwave, mostly because soundwave seems to be the safest option at the moment.* Whirl: *GDI WHAT HAVE I DONE* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Could be worse. He could be thinking about Soundwave's mouth.* Whirl: ((rodders will u please play Let's Get it On)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Nods to Shockwave. There's room where Rodimus was.* Rodimus: *yep its a ... pretty open panel policy* agoodidstraction: because it *** feels good what the *** is wrong with you wht *** kind of sad universe do you *** come from that doesn't have *** *** oral mech Rodimus: ((pretend its ic lmao ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Not everyone has the luxury of possessing a face, you know.]] Shockbox: *he considers the seat, and then takes it.* Whirl: *stares at Wheeljack. Blank. Optic giving no emotion away* Whirl: *deep, deep breath* Whirl: *BURSTS OUT LAUGING* Shockbox: ........*nods in agreement with slendy's statement.* agoodidstraction: hdkljishf agoodidstraction: what!!!! Rodimus: *silly smirk to himself* agoodidstraction: what agoodidstraction: what mech Airachnid: [she's just going to snicker to herself] Whirl: I DON'T know how I managed to keep a straight face for so long. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave looks up and over at the speakers. HA.* Whirl: Of COURSE we have blowjobs here, mech. Whirl: I mean, I wasn't lying when I said I'd never done it but, I was messing with you. You're VERY gullible. Whirl: Thank you, Rodders. agoodidstraction: i hat eyour *** stupid *** face Whirl: *cheeky salute* Whirl: Everything else was true, though. agoodidstraction: *squints* Whirl: Honest truth. agoodidstraction: you don't really have claspers ItsyBitsySpyers: *Oh, why not.* ItsyBitsySpyers: //Yeah he does.// Whirl: Oh no, I do, and I'm also sure I'm not the only person here who does. Whirl: Not that all uncommon, in my dimension. agoodidstraction: prove it agoodidstraction: ?? Rodimus: Woah! You do WHirl?! I havnt seen that mod in ages Whirl: Mod? *now he looks genuinely nonplussed* Windchill: This really isn't the place, I think. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Shockbox: [[...He does not know what greater educational value these moments have, but they do amuse.]] agoodidstraction: prove it *** Rodimus: Earth organic is pretty invouge still here Whirl: See? Rumble knows. Proof enough. Whirl: No mods here. *shrugs* agoodidstraction: no i wanna see with my own two optics Whirl: Oh. Well. I was born with 'em. Rodimus: Sweet--- really?! Whirl: *nods* Rodimus: Arn't you Cold Construct? Shockbox: *he leans back on the couch.* Rodimus: *RODDIMUS* Whirl: And--sorry, Wheeljack, but like I said--*sly look* You've yet to impress me. FakeProwl: *is rather glad the clasper fad died out, personally. they don't work well with his array.* Shockbox: @Soundwave: Amusing is /one/ way to put it. Whirl: ...what the frag kinda question is THAT? ItsyBitsySpyers: @Shockbox: [[Your suggested term?]] Rodimus: Ours didnt have those arrays mostly til the war. agoodidstraction: show me your claspers Windchill: *Gently, ever SO gently, picks up Whirl's feet and relocates them to HIS side of the couch.* agoodidstraction: i'll show you my thing Whirl: ((i'm so sorry everyone. the dickcapades got out of control)) Whirl: *ever so gently puts them back* Windchill: What the heck. Rodimus: ((meanwhile casual racism rodimus geeze Whirl: Well, impress me, and maybe you'll get your chance. Windchill: *Can't believe this. How did this happen.* Windchill: *Moves them again.* Whirl: *moves them back* agoodidstraction: i'll impress you come on just agoodidstraction: i'll give you lots of drugs ItsyBitsySpyers: //First off, ain't nobody poppin' their stuff out while I'm sittin' on 'em. B, I ain't watchin' Wheeljack show off nothin'.// Shockbox: (( admittedly i have not been paying close attention to the conversation. )) ItsyBitsySpyers: *He hops off Whirl and trots over to squeeze himself between Soundwave and Shockwave.* Shockbox: ((i have been building a gundam. )) Whirl: Well, obviously, our dimension is different. FakeProwl: Most pre-war cold constructed mechs who were interested in getting arrays did so long before the war. Whirl: Pfft, don;t worry Rumble, I'm not gonna do that. Windchill: Excuse me, sir. Shockbox: *nods at rumble.* Whirl: Not unless YOU asked, of course. *salutes* Rodimus: Yeah no dongles out in the rec room Magnus made it a rule agoodidstraction: okay anyone ELSE got weird arrays? Windchill: Your feet are IN MY WAY. Whirl: What? *looks to Windchill* agoodidstraction: how do you even frag with claspers Windchill: *Raises hand. He's just being honest.* Windchill: I said. Rodimus: *raises hand* FakeProwl: *... again, decides not to raise his hand. does not want wheeljack's attention* ItsyBitsySpyers: \\YA CLASP 'EM. DUH.\\ Whirl: Tiime to go? *lifts his feet into the air* Windchill: Seems so. Whirl: *and while they're there, looks to Wheeljack* The usual way. Shockbox: *he takes a moment to think* agoodidstraction: HOW? Windchill: If we're not gonna fight, I'm gonna go. Airachnid: I can only say I do not have any. agoodidstraction: look i'm still learning how spikes and valves work agoodidstraction: i have no idea what i'm doin Whirl: Seeya, mech. Also--I haven't forgotten. next week, you better give me a doctor's note, yeah? Whirl: *sits up* Does ANYONE else in this room have a set of claspers? Whirl: ...wait. Whirl: ((swap the order there)) Rodimus: Ha! Windchill: You're not the boss of me. Rodimus: I think a few in the engine team has some still ItsyBitsySpyers: //They ain't in the room though.// Whirl: I mean it. I'll take executive action if I har you haven't seen a doc. Windchill: What's THAT supposed to mean? agoodidstraction: whirl Whirl: Wheeljack. Whirl: it means I'll kick your ***, Windchill. Windchill: *He stands up, putting him in a better position to deflect any "executive actions."* Windchill: PFFT. Rodimus: !!! WHirl! Do I need to send Volicity down here?! Whirl: *sets his feet down* agoodidstraction: whirl just show me the *** claspers Windchill: I've been trying to get you to do that for years. Windchill: I'm not even convinced that you CAN. Whirl: Look, to get them out, I need to be in a particular mood. And that's not just something I can DO. Whirl: Also, no. Like I said--I'm not attracted to you. Whirl: I'll take a picture or something, and send it, if you want. agoodidstraction: okay let me give ya a lap dance then agoodidstraction: you'll send me a pic??? Whirl: I'll pass, but yeah. In the event, that I get them out sometime soon, I'll send you  a picture. Whirl: But fair warning--last time I got em our was, like, four million years ago. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave just shakes his helm. Be proud of him, Prowl. He risked his life to rescue this.* Whirl: So you're gonna be in for quite a wait. ItsyBitsySpyers: *That's a huge sacrifice.* agoodidstraction: ???????? FakeProwl: *enormous* Whirl: ((truly)) FakeProwl: *also: why* agoodidstraction: why do you hate your claspers Shockbox: @Soundwave: I do not believe any single term would do. It is merely another kind of common exchange. agoodidstraction: get 'em sucked or whatever agoodidstraction: give 'em some air Rodimus: Geeze Wheeljack, I guess you aare new to this interfacing thing cause you got less class than Swerve at this. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Ask.* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Shockbox: [[A reasonable viewpoint.]] Whirl: *holds up his huge claws* Rodimus: Whirl told you no let it drop. agoodidstraction: look i'm good in berth okay Rodimus: And? Whirl: Thanks, Rodders, but I've got this. *nods* Whirl: *that was a genuine thank you* Whirl: I've got huge c;laws. They';re not good for that sort of thing. Rodimus: *thumbs at WHirl* You can take it then. agoodidstraction: *lighting another cyg* *** Windchill: *Time for a goodnight eye roll.* Windchill: Bye, guys. Whirl: Catcha later, 'Chill. Rodimus: See ya. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Seeya.// ItsyBitsySpyers: *Ah. An audio hint.* Whirl: Anyway, there you have it. 've told you just about everything I can about my junk. I hope you're happy. Rodimus: *passive agressive music choices* Windchill: *Leaves.* Shockbox: @Soundwave: In such a relatively relaxed atmostphere, such discussions are an eventuality. agoodidstraction: you're full of *** whirl Whirl: And YOU can't fight. agoodidstraction: i'm out Whirl: *getly untangles himself from Frenzy and Zori and stands up, streeetching* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Now that is a good reason for appreciating a lonely post out on Cybertron* agoodidstraction: prowl, lmk when ya finally schlurp it agoodidstraction: I CAN FIHT *** Rodimus: @Soundwave ::About lessons.... those still on the table?:: FakeProwl: Never. agoodidstraction: zap yaps responsibly agoodidstraction: bye fraggers ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy rolls off and bounces to his pedes. Zori pats Whirl goodbye* ItsyBitsySpyers: ((byeeee)) Whirl: *examines a claw with a mock-bored air* Didn't look like it to me. *now turns his attention to Zori and beeps a farewell* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Rodimus: [[Which?]] Rodimus: @Sound ::I did already pay for one of thtem~:: Shockbox: Hm....*Can feel himself beginning to drift.* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Rodimus: [[Ah. Yes. Those are still available, if you wish.]] Airachnid: [quietly gets up to try and sneak out] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Ravage rumbles a goodbye* FakeProwl: *why is this song playing twice?* Whirl: *bosb his head* Seeya, Legs! FakeProwl: *............... oh.* Whirl: Get back to me on the fighting, yeah? Bruin: *time to call it a night, the wolves are all snoring in unison* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Shockbox: [[Perhaps you should return and rest.]] Airachnid: [nods to a few before disappearing] Shockbox: *Snaps his head up, then nods.* FakeProwl: *stands and looks at Bruin. at least a couple of his team appear to be asleep.* @Bruin «Can you get to the bridge by yourself?» ItsyBitsySpyers: *Gets calling his group to himself as well.* Whirl: Anyway! Well. ...what an interesting conversation this turned out to be. But, later, losers. Whirl: *waves adnd turns to trot for the door* Bruin: @Prowl ::Yeah, Sotters' still up, just these lazy bums  asleep:: Shockbox: @Soundwave: Yes. But....If it is not too much, I need to contact you at a later date. FakeProwl: @Bruin «Very well.» ItsyBitsySpyers: @Shockbox: [[It is not too much.]] Here: a frequency. Bruin: *picks up all three wolves, one over a shoulder and two under arms and heads out* Night ya'll Rodimus: See ya mech! ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Goodnight.]] Shockbox: *pings a thanks.* @Soundwave: Do you have a preferred time range? Rodimus: Ah SOundwave. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Shockbox: [[Any. He will answer the message when he can.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Yes, Rodimus?]] Rodimus: YOu asked about New york ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Yes. He did.]] Shockbox: *he nods one last time before making his way out.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Goodbye nod.* Shockbox: (( g'night. )) Rodimus: It's short I dont have your skills ItsyBitsySpyers: *Oh no.* FakeProwl: *... remembers this from the other side. rubs optics* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Ping. Prowl need to leave?* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Still watching though.* FakeProwl: *no. but he's sitting down again.* Rodimus: Such burns ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He sees.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Thank you.]] Rodimus: That's it for footage but you get it our scale to earth-- and welll--- much less in disguse FakeProwl: We /were/ in disguise before then, for years. Rodimus wasn't on Earth then, so he wouldn't have known. Rodimus: ((that clip seemed the most likely to be easily salavaged lol ItsyBitsySpyers: *On the one hand, part of him wonders why his faction never managed to wreak as much damage as other timelines. On the other, given how much MORE things fell apart when they tried...* Rodimus: *optic rolls* FakeProwl: ((yeah, I figure a few dozen humans with cameras out recording the carnage)) Rodimus: You dont even know what we were talking about FakeProwl: And we went back into hiding afterwords, as much as we could. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He appreciates both viewpoints.]] Rodimus: Yeah they didnt mange to wipe earth's populations due to us! FakeProwl: Then you may enlighten me. Rodimus: Made a pretty good dent thou Rodimus: *hand waves* So anyways I never got to see New York! ItsyBitsySpyers: [[And he is given to understand this was worldwide?]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Or nearly?]] Rodimus: The fighting wa--- yeah Rodimus: skirmishes mostly FakeProwl: They hit major metropolitan areas all over the planet. New York City was the first and worst. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Have the f... the humans rebuilt?]] Rodimus: Some I guess. Certinally not rolling the welcome mat out to us I here. Prowl know that better Rodimus: He did have a dance with one of their towns... I hear ItsyBitsySpyers: *Looks over.* FakeProwl: After the Decepticons were forced out, the New Yorkers were moved to refugee camps nearby. FakeProwl: Over the next few years they began moving back in and rebuilding, but last I was there much of the city remained in ruins. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: [[Earth's coordinates?]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *He's curious. Wants to see this damage for himself, for comparison purposes.* FakeProwl: @Soundwave «... Why?» ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: [[Recording. Data addition. Examples needed.]] Rodimus: ((my wife is crying over killing something in her game ItsyBitsySpyers: ((oh nooooo)) Rodimus: ((I am laughing at her FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Earth is armed and prepared in case of a new Cybertronian invasion, and there's an ongoing conflict between small Autobot and Decepticon forces. I recommend against it.» ItsyBitsySpyers: *They LEFT SOME THERE?* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Looks from one bot to the other* FakeProwl: *they WENT BACK* Rodimus: ((omg she cant even retell it without voice breaking FakeProwl: @Soundwave «They've had Cybertronian corpses, prisoners, and collaborators to help them prepare. I don't recommend a tourist trip.» ItsyBitsySpyers: ((give her a hundred hugs)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Oh, there you go. NOW he doesn't want to go.* Rodimus: *helm tilt as he looks between them* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He does not know which of you has access to the Earth, if either.]] Rodimus: *feels like the convo stopped suddenly cause he got left out. frowns* Rodimus: Huh? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[If you regain it and go, he wishes to be sent footage of what Earth looks like now.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *"Now" meaning whenever they see it again, if they do.* FakeProwl: I was last on earth a little under a year and a half ago. I didn't bring footage back, but I can see if the Constructicons did. Jazz was there more recently. FakeProwl: *... and there might be others he can call.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Nod. Even if he doesn't like Jazz.* Rodimus: *huffs now he is sure he was left out cause he isnt following this jump* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Rodimus: [[He would like to know more of what -you- witnessed when your lessons begin.]] Rodimus: @Spund ::Your vectorsigma peek wasnt enough?:: Rodimus: ((wtf fingers ItsyBitsySpyers: @Rodimus: [[You promised him multiple questions.]] Rodimus: *facepalms* ItsyBitsySpyers: *There, there, Rodimus. Prowl is holding one over on him too.* FakeProwl: *he's saving it for a special occasion* ItsyBitsySpyers: *And so he should.* Rodimus: Anyways I got my hands awesome footage of a parraell universe close to ours! ItsyBitsySpyers: *Did they have anything else they wanted to tell him, or should he take the original music cue and head toward the bridge...? Oh! Hmm.* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[What is it?]] Rodimus: *wiggles fingers* You'll see i am not going to watch it til i share it more fun that way! Rodimus: I mean I lived it! FakeProwl: *should head out himself. pings a farewell to Soundwave, and disappears.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Pings farewell back.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rude, Rodimus. Getting his hopes up like that. Hmph* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Then he will look forward to it.]] Rodimus: *blicks at hte other just *** off oh ok* Rodimus: *gota keep alluring!* Rodimus: So Waveers... I tihnk I need the control lessons first ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Of course you do. You can't do anything else without them.]] Rodimus: I seen some in the shows... how is your decoding abilites? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Sufficient, for one who is not a warship with nothing to do except float and decode.]] Rodimus: *holds his hand up a sec* Just so you know this is a Captainy request ItsyBitsySpyers: *Tilts his helm.* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Meaning?]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *You're not his Captain, after all.* Rodimus: YOu know... no repeating my words out of context and wrecking ***? Rodimus: *brow raise* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[As long as you do not ask him to do something that will harm his allies.]] Rodimus: Professionial request. *magnus voice* Rodimus: I got some uhm charts...? and designs that look like the stuff on some of those relics in the show Rodimus: Can you read -that- stuff? ItsyBitsySpyers: *Nods. With Laserbeak's help for the little he does not recognize.* Rodimus: ((its ok if you dont know if he can Rodimus: ((ok! ItsyBitsySpyers: ((if it's primal vernacular i have it set that he's not Great at it but the bird twins are old enough to cover)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((if it's something even older he knows bits and pieces and/or can get help from their timeline's REALLY old bot)) Rodimus: Ok then! I may got some stuff for you to help on I am putting a team to try to decode them! Rodimus: Ok then you are free! ItsyBitsySpyers: *Now THAT'S a task worthy of him.* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He will do his best to assist.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rises and nods* ItsyBitsySpyers: *And unless he's stopped, will head out with everyone docked and Zori tagging behind* Rodimus: ((see ya! ItsyBitsySpyers: ((bye! thanks for hosting :D ))

[blade-liger-4ever]

That's what I'm talking about!!!!

Hi! Real quick before I give you my ask, I just wanted to tell you that you work is amazing and I absolutely adore it. I'm in a pretty dark place rn but anytime you update pits a smile on my face so thank you for giving me some kind of joy ❤️

So I wanted to see if you could do anything with Ironhide? I love that mech so much and I think it would be super cool to see what you could with him. Like, if he arrived on Earth and Miko was the one who found him because that girl can't stop sneaking through the ground bridge lol and introduced him to our weird floating ball of mud? I feel like they would get along like a house on fire

Or you could whatever! It's your creative brain, let it go wild. But if you can't think of anything or have too much going on, go ahead and delete this weird ask :)

Stay safe and stay hydrated! 😁

I am so happy to have helped you out my friend. I am late as hell when it comes to answering this, but I wanted to take time to contemplate the prompt. Thank you for your patience.

━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙ ━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙

Ironhide was supposed to be working with Prowl, that's where Prime put him. However he was not one to leave his Prime alone. Optimus was well known for going and almost getting himself blown up at every turn, so Ironhide was not much inclined to leave his Prime alone on a foreign world with a bunch of trigger happy mecha, an old medic, and a youngling.

It was against orders, but sometimes a mech just needs to break orders to get things done. So it didn't bother Ironhide all that much when he snatched as much energon, weaponry, and ammo as possible and took off in a small ship to try and track Optimus and his team down. But of course he wasn't able to get off without a hitch, he had Prowl on his aft for roughly a groon and had to avoid the mech's attempts to recall him for a while. Then there were the random meteoroid showers that had him having to stop for a time as well as the odd Autobot bases he stopped at the check in and help fight off whatever threat there was in the area. He had a goal, but it was hard to not get sidetracked every two Kliks.

However eventually he got a reading regarding Optimus's last known location. He hadn't exactly told the whole army where he was heading for fear of Megatron doing something abhorrent or blowing them all up. Despite that it was not the most difficult thing in the world to use Prowl's codes to get into the database and find where Optimus was off to when he ditched the army to tail Megatron. Admittedly Ironhide found himself raising a brow at the planet of Earth when he looked into it. The place was a mudball covered in organic life while somehow managing to have energon in strangely large quantities. Personally he found it to be a less than ideal place for any Cybertronian to settle, much less Megatron, but he shrugged, set the coordinates, and shot off toward where Optimus was last recorded being.

It was quite a boring trip, but when he arrived to Earth he was beyond giddy when he noted the Decepticon presence on the planet. Sure he was largely out of ammo after his numerous pitstops and hardly had enough energon to last him another deca-cycle, but what was life without a little risk? He grinned and flew down planet side the moment he got a ping from the resident Autobots requesting his serial number. By the time he was close enough to give it and open a video channel, he had no problems keeping up a slag eating grin in response to Ratchet's blanching at his presence.

"Aye Doc. How've ya been?"

Ironhide was met with a groan of agitation that had him cackling even as Optimus and the rest of the team came on call and began directing him toward their base of operations. Landing his ship and striding out like he owned the place earned him an excited set of binary greetings from Bumblebee, groans from Ratchet, a series of largely uncertain expressions from Arcee and Bulkhead, and mixed disappointment and relief from Optimus. He was welcomed with open arms and brought into the base to be brought up to speed. He only ended up listening to about half of it before he regretted life itself upon it being made clear that being incognito was required. He was a warrior, having to hide was not exactly his strong suit.

"Prime, you can't really mean I've gotta hide like I ain't a weapons specialist?"

"This is what is required Ironhide. If the humans know of our presence, we will be exposed and they will be roped into our war"

"They're called humans? Huh, squishy lookin things they are"

Ironhide took up an alt-mode without too much of a fuss and blended into the team well as he took up the place Cliffjumper left behind. He was gruff but amusing in his own way and brought a degree of levity to the situation with his trigger happy nature. Ratchet despised him as he did everyone who turned up at his station too often. Arcee was largely annoyed with him for failing to follow proper protocol when on the battlefield. Bulkhead found Ironhide a welcome relief even if he had to try and reign him in more often than not and remind him they were on EARTH, not Cybertron. Bumblebee was just happy to have backup in the form of someone familiar and Optimus was largely in the same boat.

Ironhide fought well and without issue, granting the team greater success through grit alone. The Decepticons knew greater fear having one of the most aggressive Autobots turn up on the battlefield despite the mech in question supposedly being stationed elsewhere. Vehicons all know that the moment Ironhide turns up, its best to flee unless one is eager to have a frame full of machine gun bullets. Ironhide has and will continue to have no qualms eliminating threats, even if they are just Vehicons. Starscream had war flashbacks the first time he took to the air and got an audial full of swearing fit for a flotilla commander from the weapon's specialist. Soundwave began implementing new safety measures the moment he found solid recordings showing Ironhide smiling like a madmech while shooting down Decepticon soldiers. And when Megatron finally returned from his trip snorting dark energon, he too took one look at Ironhide and equipped as many of his units with shields as possible. It wouldn't save them from the heavy weapons Ironhide was known for handling, but it might get them an extra Klik or two on the battlefield.

With Ironhide's help, things were improving for the team despite the constant need to remind him to lay low and stop blowing up every servant class Vehicon he came across. Then the human children got involved.

"What are these things doing in base? This is war, not a sparkling center!"

"I was spotted"

"No slag two wheeler!"

Jack and Ironhide disliked each other on principle. Jack was not fond of combat and it was all that seemed to drive Ironhide to the human boy since he was not aware of many of the finer details of the war. Rafael did not have an issue with Ironhide, but he preferred the slightly tamer bots around base. Ironhide was simply a bit too much for him and it certainly didn't help that the weapons specialist made no effort at all to speak English unless absolutely required. But Miko? She adored Ironhide, and while he refused to admit it, Ironhide came to care for her too.

He refused to speak any English unless there was no other choice when it came to every other human. He would even make a point of only speaking Cybertronian when Agent Fowler came by demanding things of them. Ironhide found it hilarious to watch the human Agent fume at being unable to understand what was being said. But with Miko? Ironhide would gladly butcher the English language to speak with her. Miko in turn had a grand time watching him work on his weapons, asking questions about them, and requesting war stories. Ironhide, ever underappreciated, was thrilled at the attention and took great care with his favorite human.

Was it against the rules? Yes. Did Ironhide get reprimanded on a daily basis? Also yes. But Ironhide knew Optimus when the Prime was but a clerk newly given the responsibilities of running a planet and no Matrix to his name. He had blackmail material and didn't fear his Commander, even if he did respect him. Thus he had no qualms against giving Miko weapons and teaching her to shoot. There were many attempts to stop him, but with a weapons specialist capable of making just about anything into a deadly tool, there was no way he could be kept in line. Besides, Miko wanted to get involved. She was willing to fight for the cause, so why not arm her? Surely it was safer manning a machine gun strapped to Ironhide's shoulder rather than hide behind some rock and possibly get snatched?

When Wheeljack arrived, he agreed with Ironhide's assessment. Thus with their respective trigger happy nature combined, Ratchet lamented life, Optimus gave up trying for the most part, and Miko found herself a gunner for one of her favorite fighters.

Ironhide may or may not have also continually entertained himself by scaring the local humans by driving with no holoform, but that was just for him to chuckle at when humans posted about the 'Ghost driver'. Optimus was too tired to care, Ratchet couldn't stop him if he wanted to, and the rest of the team didn't have the ball bearings to. Ironhide was allowed to do as he pleased for the most part. It was only when his shenanigans put the team at real risk that Optimus had him sent to his quarters and actually punished for his activities.