#he also is actually pretty good with making calculations
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coldlykawaiipotatoe · 1 day ago
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Ok, I'm finally back, I was being held hostage at my 9 to 5 :(
Hi there, welcome to THG Statistics 101 (aka Bets crash course),
and may the odds be ever in your favor!
I guess mild spoilers, but I'm pretty sure Haymitch survives and also this will be a very long post
You want to understand how Wyatt calculates people’s odds and makes bets? Well it’s a combination of two things, first of all the mathematical part (statistics) and empirical knowledge (what we usually refer to as a “gut feeling” or “hunch”).
You may have the statistics knowledge to make educated guesses, and you will be right most of the time. But if besides that, you also have the empirical knowledge, you will start to feel hunches, because your brain will process data in an offband (unconsciously) way.
Now Wyatt doesn’t have a formal education, because in district twelve the education system is built to create miners, and they don’t really need the math for the job. That means Wyatt is/was (depending his status on your fic) a very smart guy, who also happens to have made lot’s of bet and be surrounded by the betting culture, both thing shaped his ability to make very good guesses at people’s odds very quickly and very accurately.
You now know how hunches or gut feelings work. Let’s get to the fun part, the mathematical way of getting those odds.
We are talking here of creating a score system, similar to the one we see on the books, where the gamemakers assign numbers to the tribute’s private displays, and the higher the score they land, the higher the chances for sponsors to support them (We will get back to this in a minute).
In this case, we will be “making an educated guess” of the possibilities of survival of the tributtes. So, let’s create our imaginary system.
First things first, choose the characteristics, traits or abilities, that are gonna be your system foundation. For this example, I’m going with Intelligence, Agility, Strength, Stamina, Popularity and (from another reply to your post) Background. But why?, why do this traits matter to my tributtes probabilities of survival and winning?
Well let´s go to the book, do you remember that scene in sort, where the tributes are being interviewed by Caesar Flickerman?
We’re gonna compare Panache´s and Wyatt´s interview. We know from Haymitch´s POV that Panacheis a big guy, but not very bright, and Caesar exploits that to make fun of him, and manages to get the entire public laughing at his expense, convincing everyone Panache´s an idiot. Even the other tributes and Haymitch are laughing, Panache becomes the butt of the joke, so you as a capitol citizen, being so smart, you wouldn’t bet on an idiot right?, because if you did, that would make Y-O-U an idiot too.
Flash forward to Wyatts interview, he impresses Caesar and everyone else with his incredible ability to estimate so quickly the odds at different situations. And Caesar speechof “if you win the games, you and I, are hitting the casinos”, it´s a vote of confidence that his intelligence it’s real may be useful enough in the arena to crown him winner (or finalist). So it’s a safe-bet for you, a smart Capitol Citizen, and you actually should bet on him, because you are so much smarter than this poor district tribute, right?.
Back to the system, you should have a general outline of why each trait it’s important to you, and this will help you assign later weights to each trait. Something like this:
Intelligence: capacity to understand and adapt quickly to the environment, and to make the right call under stressful situations.
Agility: ability to move through any weather or terrain quickly.
Physical Strength: ability yo move big obstacles, defend oneself from or cause harm to others.
Stamina: how long will the tribute’s body hold-on on harsh environments, while jogging, running, with lack of food and sleep.
Popularity: likeness from the public, tightly linked to sponsors support (like the number assigned by the gamemakers and Caesar’s approval or disapproval).
Background (as suggested by giftedwithdumbness, love the name, which I had thought about it first): has the tribute district had any previous winners (we know that the Victor’s district get food rations for a year from the Capitol, that would improve the life quality over the years, allowing the tributes to grow stronger and develop better stamina or agility, than those who don´t have that much food). Careers from district 1 and 2, would have a better background score; followed by district 3 and 4. For the rest of the districts tributes this trait would mostly be zero. While district 12, has had a winner in the past, it was too long ago to have any positive repercussion on this quarter quell tributes.
2. We now assign based on our assessment (aka opinion) how much this attributes will weight on our system. Since we have six attributes, I’m gonna rank them from one to six (one being my lowest ranked and six my highest ranked attribute). (I do not know how to make images smaller here, so enjoy this giant tables)
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Consider that you could keep on adding attributes, the more you include, the more realistic it’s gonna get. But it’s also gonna get longer to process the data
3. Now it’s turn to define, what your traits scale is gonna look like. Mine will be zero to five, being zero my lowest score and five the highest score a tribute could get.
4. We already have a system, let’s try it! We’re gonna imagine an ideal tribute and she´s from district one, she get’s the highest score on every category. How would that look like? (I’ve rearranged the traits table by order of weights, because it looks more orderly, but you could left it as it was)
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This is where I mentioned in my original reply, you have to multiply the Weight (you assigned to each trait) with the Score (the tribute got in their previous assessments), to get what we’re gonna call Skill Score of each tribute.
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So your ideal tribute would get under our system, a score of 105 Skills points maximum.
5. That is the highest score any tribute could ever get on THIS system. What we now have to do is make all of the tributes to undergo this system. Let’s look at a few of their scores:
First we have Percy, from district 4, he scored
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We also have Grover, lovely fella from district 11
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Lastly, let’s look at Bianca’s, she’s from district 12, and she didn’t do well on the evaluations.
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6. Let’s consider we have 12 tributes, we already made them go through our system, and we have their skills score as shown in this table.
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What we now need is to addition the tributes skills score, to get a total of possibilities. Let’s me explain on different terms. Let’s say that we are playing a dart game with this tributtes and they are going to be hitting a dart card on the wall. But here’s the catch, we’re not gonna give equal amounts of darts to the tributes, because we already assessed them and we know some of them don’t have good chances of ever hitting the dart cart, so why waste darts on them?. We have bought 673 darts, and we split them according to the chances of the tributes hitting the dart card.
Clearly those who get more darts, are gonna have better chances of hitting the dart card on the center. So the 673 darts are the total amount (aka 100%), so if someone was given the 673 darts, the probability of that person hitting the center is 100%. But which is exactly the percentage a particular tribute has of hitting the center? considering they’re not receiving the same amount of darts? Let’s find out.
7. We’re translating the table data to percentages that represent their probability of surviving among the other eleven tributes.
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8. How do we do it? you say, Im glad you asked:
We’re gonna divide the Skill score of each tribute between the Collective Skills Score (the addition of the point of every tribute, aka the 673 point, that’s our total skills score). And to turn it into a percentage, we’re gonna multiply it (for “many times”) a hundred. Let’s take Astrid for example
Astrid
(Skill Score/Collective Skills Score) x 100 = Survival Odds
(95 / 673) x 100 = Survival Odds
14.12% = Survival Odds
This are her odds to survive an arena with this amount and particular set of tributes. But she did very good on the evaluations. So what about a tribute who didn’t do so well? Like Hiccup, let’s check:
Hiccup
(Skill Score/Collective Skills Score) x 100 = Survival Odds
(15 / 673) x 100 = Survival Odds
2.23% = Survival Odds
That not great, he has a very slim chance of surviving, so small that it doesn’t really seem possible.
9. We would repeat this process for each of the tributes, and end up with:
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10. And that’s it, you now have the odds of each of the twelve tributes surviving. Now obviously if you wanted to make it more realistic, you could bet on the probability of a tribute, let’s say Annabeth, surviving the first, the second and third day. But you will have to add other variables (traits) to the system, like sponsor support, allegiance (and inside this one, the odds of survival of her allies), and even luck, don’t discard it so easily. But yeah somewhere along my explanation, a system was born, feel free to use it, discard it or modify it, and if you have other questions, let me know.
But with this table, a Capitol citizen interested in being a sponsor would look at someone like Hiccup or Bianca, and consider them dead with those chances. But that same sponsor would look at Annabeth, Astrid and Percy's scores and decide that they are a better bet, and donate more money to them.
Wyatt fans that understand betting help me out here. In *very* simple terms, how does one calculate reaping and Games odds like Wyatt does in SOTR?
(It's for a fic. I can write. I cannot maths. Send help.)
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235uranium · 2 years ago
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hc that the reason ford is so terrible with earth computers despite almost certainly having encountered more recent technology + technology based on current era technology while in the multiverse is that he's gotten way too familiar with alien computers and keeps trying to make normal computers work that way
#☢️.txt#ik canon is likely that he is just Bad at comp sci since he cant use fiddlefords laptop#but like. hes presumably a high energy physicist in the 70s#he likely wouldve encountered C by that point!#SQL came out in 78! and as far as we know he was reading journals even in gravity falls#hell even a lot of his pre-fiddleford tech seems to have relied on some form of computing#my personal hc is somewhere between 'ford is doing learned incompetence on everyone bc he thinks the idea of pcs is Silly and Pointless'#and 'ford was running everything entirely by hand until fiddleford showed up and forced him to use computers because no stanford you cannot#do this by hand actually. please for the love of something just use a calculator'#but i DO think the core issue is that ford is really bad at logic (the math subfield) and thats some of the basis of his animosity#hes really good at the type of math needed in physics and hes even pretty decent at working in different bases#but he struggles with stuff like logic gates bc he. does not think like most people. smth smth ford isnt just an anomaly due to his hands#his thought processes are different enough from other people that he struggles to make sense of coding languages#i think he also (and id argue this canon) makes massive leaps in logic that are hard to translate into code#if youre always making massive connections between things and seeing patterns but you dont always realize other people didnt pick up on the#then its really hard to write code for it bc you have to tell the computer Absolutely Everything#and ford isnt exactly known for his documentation lmao#ford pines
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1d1195 · 5 months ago
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Two Negatives
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~9.8 k words
From me: I promise it’s not going to be about math that much. This is an academic rivals sort of thing. It’s going to have at least two follow ups but this is the whole story overall. I think there are parts of it that are kind of hand-wavy and whatnot. Not completely connected or explained.
Warnings: Maybe if you read this the right way you may notice that Harry's a little bit of a sugar-daddy. Low self-esteem, cheating, mentions of sex stuff.
Summary: Harry loves annoying the girl in his classes. She's an easy target. And more often than not, she teases him right back.
Which Harry is an absolute sucker for.
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“Hey,” he hissed.
She ignored him. Instead, her gaze bounced back between the board where Professor Charles was writing on the whiteboard and the paper in front of her alongside her notebook, dated and titled ready to jot down any issues she had as they worked through the new material.
Something hit the back of her head. Nothing that hurt. But she felt it in her hair. Probably a gum wrapper. Or maybe the actual piece of gum. She wouldn’t have been surprised. She reached behind her head without looking, grateful it wasn’t a piece of gum, and she dropped the wrapper in her bag beside her to dispose of later.
He dropped his calculator off his desk (flung it was more accurate) so it landed right by her foot. She didn’t flinch as it clattered and ignored the curious peeks of others looking at her like she was the one causing the noise.
“Give me a pencil,” he was right next to her, grabbing his calculator.
“Go fuck yourself,” she whispered so quietly she wondered if Harry could even hear her.
“Please! I forgot!”
“You always forget,” she hissed back.
Professor Charles cleared his throat. She glared at her paper as her cheeks burned with embarrassment. How dare Harry embarrass her in front of her professor because he was too stupid to bring his own pencil again. She placed dots on her graph as her professor did, stabbing at her paper a little too hard. Pretending it was Harry’s Voo Doo doll. Just so it would stop. So he would stop. But no. He was still knelt beside her.
“Mr. Styles, is everything alright?” Professor Charles asked.
“Yup, just tying m’shoe,” he said and stood up with a grin. That grin probably got Harry out of a speeding ticket, especially if he was pulled over by a female officer. Probably got him out of homework when he was in school because he knew how to make anyone feel flattered and good about themselves.
That stupid, pretty smile of his with the most adorable dimples probably melted any woman that looked his way.
Professor Charles rolled his eyes as he turned back to the whiteboard. At the same time Harry plucked her pencil from her grip mid stroke of the number eight she was writing. Before she could protest or even fully grasp that her writing utensil was stolen, Harry was back in his seat... right behind her. She took a deep breath and tilted her head to the ceiling trying to keep herself calm so she wouldn’t scream at him in front of everyone. So, she wouldn’t look like a lunatic. Why did he have to sit behind her? She reached into her bag and pulled out her pencil case and continued writing as if Harry hadn’t interrupted her at all.
*
She didn’t have a class following her lecture so she would have a second to breathe and eat, which wasn’t the case most days. Fortunately, she was head tutor at the academic center in the library which wasn’t far from the dining hall. It was also pretty easy going at the center, so she could eat while working. But it was always nice to pretend and be a regular student and eat in the hall. She listened to music and read her book. The only hour she got to read much these days. After tutoring, she would be headed to one more class before she was back to work at the college bar in the center of town.
Her schedule was mapped out to the minute. Her days filled to the brim with school and work. Because she didn’t have a choice. It was the same way every penny of her budget was scheduled and allotted for other things as well. It didn’t leave time for friends.
“Hey gorgeous.”
Well, one friend.
He pecked her cheek before sitting across from her. “Class good?” He asked.
She nodded. “Yeah, how was yours?”
He reached over the table, held her hand, and skimmed his thumb along her knuckles. It was sweet. If it wasn’t so forced. “Good,” he smiled.
Isaac was an extremely handsome guy. He was popular, smart, and funny. His family had big plans for him and that was why he was on this prestigious college campus.
“Hi Isaac,” a flirtatious call sounded from across the room. He turned to find the culprit but came up short.
“By the door,” she said. Isaac turned releasing her hand as he did and waved at the girl who dissolved into giggles. After greeting the masses, he turned his attention back to her. “Can I suggest something?”
“Of course you can, girlfriend.”
She rolled her eyes. “Do you really want to be with the kind of girl who will openly flirt with someone in a relationship?”
“I think everyone knows it’s a fake relationship.”
“Regardless,” she shrugged.
“Jealousy doesn’t become you, my love,” he winked. He grunted when she tossed one leg over the other beneath the table and perhaps overshot just a hair.
She met Isaac on the first day of college. She was bringing her own stuff into her dorm room alone. His parents caught sight of her. Recognized her as she looked like her mom’s twin from way back when they all roamed this campus themselves. But unlike them, she was there under very different circumstances. She greeted them politely, smiled, and chatted as she knew best.
But Isaac approached her later that evening. She was sweaty from unpacking all alone. Her saving grace was a dorm room to herself. Perhaps the only lucky thing about her freshman year. This place screamed money. Money that she didn’t have anymore.
Isaac screamed money. “I need your help.” So, Isaac made sure she didn’t die of hunger and didn’t become a complete social pariah. Made sure she was taken seriously because of course this campus was littered with people who didn’t believe smarts could come without money.
In return, she was to be a doting girlfriend. When his parents were around, she was to be a fixture on his arm. Would it last forever? Probably not. But at least she would be okay for four years. She was kind, lovely, the exact kind of girl they expected their son to find and help keep him stable to take over his father’s company.
The kind of girl that would let Isaac be with whoever. Of course they had their moments. Like the lunch breaks such as the current one. Making appearances so that if anyone asked it wouldn’t be unheard of that they were together.
But she was no stranger to the whispers. That poor girl has no idea her boyfriend is cheating on her.
Fortunately, she didn’t have time for a boyfriend. Especially not one like Isaac. So, if her fake boyfriend was cheating on her, then at least she didn’t have to deal with it. Each time his parents came to town it wrecked her schedule. Wreaked havoc on her study time. Her work time. After three years, it was starting to feel like more of a give and less of a take in comparison to him.
But Isaac was nice enough. He still thanked her profusely—especially when his parents were in town. He didn’t use a lot of tongue when he kissed her in effort to keep up appearances. Knowing where his tongue had been, she was grateful.
“I’m not jealous,” she told him. “I care about you enough that I don’t want your heart to get broken.”
“You know I don’t have one of those.” She rolled her eyes. “You know, I’d be happy to throw you a bone, my love,” he leaned toward her, his eyes flirty and his smile lascivious.
She snorted. “Not even if you boiled it in disinfectant.”
“Orgasms help with stress.”
“I’m not lacking in orgasms. Not that it’s any of your business.”
“Kinky, baby,” he winked. “You actually got me hard,” he told her. He wasn’t trying to sleep with her so much as he was willing to sleep with her. When they first arrived at college there were several firsts that both needed to accomplish and well, the fake dating wasn’t the only thing they were able to help each other out with. But after three years of rumors and knowing what Isaac was like outside their fake relationship, she was glad she got to him before all of the rumors swarmed around her.
“I have to go to work,” she told him getting up from the table.
Isaac really was a nice friend. Lovely even. But only if they were really alone. As time wore on, he got cocky and annoying—especially in public. It seemed like he was doing more of a favor for her than she was for him (even though she stopped asking him for things almost a month into their arrangement—shortly after she heard a rumor of a threesome).
But his parents loved her. They didn’t ask questions about his schooling or dating life because of her sweet nature. Originally, she felt guilty over their lie. But now, she was resenting that part of him more and more. He was a pretty good friend. But he was a dick of a boyfriend. “Are y’hungry, baby?” He asked.
She shook her head, cheeks blushing, and anger tingling in her blood. She hated the way he spoke to her in public; he sounded so condescending. Not at all like the kind and caring boyfriend he was supposed to pretend to be or even the kind and sweet friend he was behind closed doors. “Shut up, Isaac,” she sighed. His ego played a massive part in their friendship. He was rich and popular. She was not. “You sound like a douchebag.”
He pressed his lips to her ear, wrapped his arm around her waist. If she was looking in from the outside, she was sure it looked cute and romantic. “Mm,” he hummed ignoring her insult. “Can feed you something later,” he winked.
She knew people were watching so she smiled, leaned toward his ear. “If you’re going to feed me, I need a full meal.”
He chuckled, rolled his eyes and pecked her lips. “See you later, baby,” he kissed her softly again as he said it. “Gonna make sure you’re nice and full,” he promised loudly as he walked away. Not so loudly, that everyone would hear. But certainly loud enough for Harry Styles, who walked into the dining hall at that precise moment, to hear.
“Wow, bit extra for the dining hall,” Harry smirked. She glared at him, her cheeks warming.
“Don’t suppose you have my pencil?”
“Hmm,” he tapped his hands over his pockets. “Sorry Your Majesty,” he bowed in his over-the-top kind of way. “Clean out.” She rolled her eyes, grabbed her stuff, and made her way for the exit. Harry grabbed her hand at the last second pulling her back to look at him. “Y’okay?” He asked. “Y’look tired.”
She snatched her hand away. She was tired. But it didn’t feel good for it to be pointed out that she looked tired. “Thanks, I guess,” she rolled her eyes again. “I’m going to go now before you have a chance to insult me again.”
“Hey,” he frowned and called after her again as she continued walking away. “M’serious. Y’look like you’re getting sick.”
It was extremely unfair that Harry noticed that. “Are you concerned about me, Styles?” She glanced over her shoulder.
“Someone has t’remember t’bring me a pencil.”
“You could very much bring your own pencil.”
“Well, then I wouldn’t get t’have these lovely conversations every day, would I, Your Majesty?” She shook her head and ignored him as he continued speaking to her. “Hope he fucks y’good and full or whatever,” he called. She glared but refused to look back at him.
*
Harry appeared in one of her classes on the first day of her second year. A transfer from another school. His smile was panty-melting. Truly. Even she could recognize that. But regardless of how pretty he was, it was obvious how annoying he was going to be. He slid into the seat right behind her. “Hi,” he smiled. She ignored him, focusing on her professor starting class syllabus stuff. Besides, it seemed unlikely that someone like Harry was talking to her. “M’Harry,” he whispered.
She started scribbling on her notebook.
“He hasn’t even started yet,” he mumbled.
“Can I help you?” She turned around to look at him.
His smile was breathtaking. It really felt like he stole the breath from her lungs. “Sorry, Your Majesty. Didn’t mean t’interrupt y’doodle. Do y’have an extra pencil?” He asked.
She stared at the twenty-year-old man in his second year of college unprepared for his first day of classes. Perhaps if she rolled her eyes and ignored him, the trajectory of her life might have been something else entirely.
Instead, she handed her pencil to him.
“Thanks, Your Majesty.”
She rolled her eyes, anyway, facing forward.
*
In her Abstract Algebra class Harry was right behind her once more. “Psst.”
She ignored him. But his body was closer, his voice was closer. “Your Majesty,” he practically sang.
“What is your deal?” She hissed.
“I need a pencil.”
“Bring your own.”
“I like the one y’gave me. It wrote so smooth.”
She doesn’t know why she gave him a pencil.
But she really did know.
Harry was obviously handsome and from the way he chuckled under his breath over the lame jokes their professors made, he was quick and probably funny in his own way. But moreover, he had to be intelligent. Really intelligent to understand a pun about probability theory. The way others in the class fawned over him (guys and girls alike) it was apparent he was popular. Maybe popular like Isaac which made her dislike him just a bit.
It went that way every class. Harry was in four out of five of her classes both the fall and spring semester. Every class he needed a pencil. Each day he thanked her in his ridiculously attractive accent. Your Majesty.
What a dick.
But Harry talked to her. Even if it was just asking for a pencil. Or a picture of the notes he missed from when he went to the bathroom. He didn’t care that her family was broke. That she was broke. That she worked three jobs and hardly slept. He didn’t make her feel like she didn’t deserve to be on that campus.
“Did y’get the answer t’number nine?” It wasn’t a trick; he wanted her answer. Her opinion. “I got two different answers three different ways. There was no judgment that she couldn’t afford the extravagant lifestyle that her peers did. She had one winter coat. Not six to match her outfits. She didn’t have a car. She didn’t go out to eat and she made her own coffee except for on Saturdays when she splurged and treated herself to her favorite bagel and her favorite coffee.
Maybe it was because she saw him at a party. A girl at his side, smiling at him. Twirling her hair and touching his pretty chest. It was effortless. She didn’t have to try to flirt with Harry. It was a given. Rich, popular, perfectly pretty. The same as Harry.
Everything she wasn’t. Everything Harry would never want.
So she tended to Isaac. Kept to herself.
Gave Harry an absurd number of pencils.
Which continued into their third year. Where things got busier, harder, and more overwhelming.
But Harry was always right behind her. Asking for a pencil. Making her cranky.
But always making her feel normal when no one else did.
*
It was obvious Harry had money. The key on his ring had a symbol for a car that would never be in her price range. His clothes were pretty, the latest trends. Even his sweatpants looked like they were designer.
Maybe it could have been that way for her. Maybe if her dad hadn’t embezzled all their money. Hadn’t gone to jail and left her and her mother with anything more than a penny. Growing up she didn’t feel rich, but she never wanted. But right as she was applying to colleges, with only one college campus that made her heart happy, it was the first time in her life she thought about and hated money.
She imagined no one on campus ever felt that way.
But even if Harry had the nicest clothes and the nicest car, he never flaunted what he had. Not even to his friends. He didn’t show off or act like he had a ton of money. He was just there.
Which is why perhaps, when he annoyed her to pieces, she didn’t mind giving him a pencil in the end.
*
It was a bad day. She missed her mom. She was exhausted. Didn’t have time to make herself a coffee which just felt criminal. The test on her mind nearly brought her to tears as she sat down in her seat, seconds before her professor walked in.
Her pencil case was empty.
Part of her felt sad she wouldn’t have a pencil for Harry. Would he ask someone else? Would he stop asking her because of it? God, why did she even care? It was a blessing. He would stop asking her. She wouldn’t have to keep wasting money she didn’t have on pencils.
Plus, he wasn’t even there.
The test landed on her table. Her brain felt weary. Was she getting sick? Probably. Stress did a number on her immune system. It was a miracle she wasn’t sick all the time.
Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes she tried to calm her mind. It wasn’t the time to think about the reading she needed to complete, the shift she was covering at the academic center, or the dinner she was really looking forward to splurging on. It had been ages since she had chicken in her pasta dish.
“Hey,” how long were her eyes closed? How did she miss him coming to his seat.
“I don’t have a pencil, Harry,” she hissed back.
“Of course, y’do,” she could hear his eye roll.
“I don’t, I forgot my pencil case.”
He snorted. Her eyes flicked to Professor Charles who didn’t look up from his own paper at the front of the room. “C’mon, quit being a brat.”
“A brat?” She whispered.
“Quiet,” Professor Charles still didn’t look up.
“Sorry Your Majesty, jus’ give me a pencil and—”
“I don’t have one!” Her voice was quiet and maybe if she wasn’t only two rows from the front of the room, it wouldn’t have been a big deal when he pulled it out of her grip.
But she was towards the front.
Professor Charles stood beside their desks. “You’re both excused.”
Her face felt hot and pale at the same time. She felt like she was going to throw up. The feeling of eyes on her made her more embarrassed than the time she tripped and fell at her third-grade band concert. “Professor Charles,” she started.
“Enough,” he snagged her paper from her desk. Her throat felt tight, her eyes prickled, and she thought that maybe in a different life she could have been friends with Harry. Liked him, even.
But not then.
She bit on her lip to keep from crying as she packed her stuff into her bag and marched out of the room, head held high, and ignoring everyone’s stare. Especially the guy following her out of the classroom.
*
She slapped the door to the building as Harry continued following her. She was fuming. Practically steaming from his perspective. Yet he couldn’t help but think she looked absolutely adorable. “Quit fucking following me!” She snapped.
“My God, you’re so uptight,” he rolled his eyes.
“Harry Styles, you’re an absolute dick. Just leave me the fuck alone, for God’s sake.”
It garnered the attention of a few onlookers. But their path to the dining hall was quiet given it was the middle of class time. "Jesus Christ, do y’ever jus’ take a break? S’one fuckingtest, Your Majesty. For fuck’s sake. He’ll probably drop it. Quit being a baby."
A sniffle. One small, tiny noise.
"You don't get it do you?" She snapped. She didn’t want to. But she couldn’t hold it in anymore. It was too much. The final straw.
In the entire time Harry had known her he had never seen her this upset. Not like this. Not to the point where she was crying.
Because of him.
He made her cry.
"I have a squeaky-clean record. I have to be perfect all the time. I can't let one hair be out of place. I can't get one bad grade. If I do, then everyone around me makes comments and they assume it’s because I have no money. The poor girl can’t hack it here. It's this massive pressure on me all the time. I can't get caught doing normal party things. I can't get caught cheating on a test, Harry. I can’t. I lose my scholarship if I don't maintain my GPA. I can hardly afford to be here, Harry. I have to work three jobs. I have to budget every minute of my time as much as every dollar of my bank account. Do you know I haven't been home in three years? I miss my mom so much and I can’t even afford to go see her and I just pretend because—” she covered her mouth and Harry swallowed hard, willing himself to not cry as well. This wasn’t about him. This was all about her right now. “And now,” she croaked. “I’m going to have to skip dinner because I need to buy new pencils because I have been giving them to someone who’s too fucking inconsiderate to even fucking return them after annoying me for no better reason that for kicks.”
Her sniffles turned into sobs and Harry had never felt like more of an ass. He thought she was annoying at worst, but he never wanted her to cry.
Her crying, all her tears, they were all his fault.
"I study so hard. I have to. But I want to. I want to make enough money to support my mom, and I can’t do one thing wrong because if I do then I’ll lose everything. I have to study. I’m not like you, Harry. You just know everything and that's amazing, Harry, it really is,” and for the first time since he started interacting with her, Harry felt horrible for the way he had treated her. The compliment she gave was so thoughtful. The kindness in her voice was unmissable. He was practically shocked it even came from her mouth. “But not all of us are gifted with insane intelligence like you. Not all of us are God's gift to women and can go out and party and not be judged for kissing someone I like. Not all of us can afford to be here without help."
Harry kept his lip between his teeth to keep from speaking.
“I’ll get over it,” she sniffed. “Sorry for being so uptight.” She wiped her face and stalked off toward her dorm.
Harry had never felt worse about himself.
*
She wore her best interview dress. Her hair was pinned precisely so that the pieces that constantly flew away were at bay. She swallowed the rock that formed in her throat as she knocked on her professor's office door.
"Come in."
"Professor Charles," she was grateful he didn't look up because she was worried, she was going to curtsey or something equally ridiculous. "I wanted to apologize—"
"Your boyfriend already came to tell me he's at fault for the fiasco in class. He took full responsibility and said it was extremely unfair of me to refuse you the exam."
Her heart skipped a beat. "M-my boyfriend?" She whispered.
"Mr. Styles is very bold and I suppose I was a bit harsh. You are a brilliant young woman and role model to your peers," he praised. "Would you like to take the test now or schedule another time?" He asked looking up from his work.
She swallowed. "Um..."
"I would appreciate it, if you took it now. I need an answer key to grade the rest of them," his voice was steady, but she felt the compliment down to her bones. "I have a class in two hours, and I was hoping to check grading off my to-do list before it started," he explained.
She felt uneasy, overwhelmed, but not like she did when she sat down the first time to take the same exam. "I can do it now," she whispered and dropped her bag at her feet and situated herself at the table on the side of his office below the window. She got to work and completed the test as if all it asked was for her to write the alphabet down. She was checking over her work when she glanced out the window and saw the sprawling campus. There were people walking by at fast clips. Eager to get to the dining halls and rushing to make it to their classes on time.
But in the midst of all the people running by, there was Harry, sitting on a bench. His arm stretched across the back of it, while the other held his phone. He crossed his feet at his ankles and looked like a model for relaxation.
He took the complete blame for the test. She felt her heart aching and she stood from the table and went over to her professor's desk. "Is... Mr. Styles able to retake the exam as well?"
"I wasn't planning on it," he looked up at her. "Why?"
She bit her lip, looked at her feet. "I could have just given him a pencil."
"Mr. Styles should be prepared for his own education," he said knowingly. There was no way she was going to explain her relationship with Harry to her professor. Plus, she wasn't sure she'd be able to. She dropped her gaze and handed off her exam. "You can tell Mr. Styles he can come up and take the test," he said simply. "I have the answer key now."
She blinked.
"He'll probably ace it as well, but your handwriting is neater," he shrugged, tipped his glasses further down his nose and silently read her answers. She stood still, like she was waiting for the danger to pass. "Is there anything else you'd like to discuss?" He asked glancing back up. She shook her head, pinned to her spot. The strangeness of it all was overwhelming. "Men like Mr. Styles are going to have it a lot easier than you. The field you’ve selected is male-dominated and many will sell you short because of your gender," he said. "That doesn't mean you need to worry about your worth," he assured her. "You are a brilliant, hardworking, and talented individual. Mr. Styles should be bringing you pencils to class."
Her cheeks felt warm.
"Also, to be fair, it's nice to know you're not cheating off of each other because it was getting a little suspicious," he turned her exam back across his desk and wrote her score at the top of her page, upside down—98%. "Missed a negative."
"If Harry misses it, can you knock off more points?" She asked before she could stop herself then felt herself blush at how ready she was to throw him under the bus. She looked down shyly and covered her mouth before she looked up at him again.
Her strict professor made a face that resembled somewhat of a smile. "Of course."
“Thank you,” she hoped she sounded as gracious as she felt.
“Great work,” he nodded in response.
She headed out of the office and walked toward the bench. She sat beside him and faced forward. Harry put his phone back in his pocket and turned only his head toward her. "How'd y’do?" He asked.
"Ninety-eight."
He tutted. "Too bad," he smirked.
A smile twitched at her lips. She looked up at the sky briefly. "He said you can go on up and take it now," she told him.
He blinked. Surprise coloring his pretty features. Harry rarely seemed stunned, especially because of her. It was cute and also exciting that he was surprised by her. "What?"
She looked at her lap, trying to focus on her nails but not for too long because she was worried that she would gnaw on them if she let the nerves overtake her. "That was... the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me," she whispered. "Especially for Professor Charles' class," she continued. Taking a deep breath, she looked at him. "I was obnoxious. Bad day or whatever... it wasn't your fault and I’m sorry I made a big deal of it."
"I just wanted you to stop crying. You look ridiculous when you cry."
She smiled. A genuine one. Not a forced one that Harry had seen her give everyone under the sun. Not the one that she plastered on her face during presentations. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. “Y’had every right t’be mad at me. I was a complete dick.”
She shrugged. “I... I should have just given you a pencil... it turned out there was one at the bottom of my bag and... I kind of... like giving you a pencil. You just caught me at a really bad moment.”
“I know. M’sorry. I knew y’looked off.”
She tilted her head at him. “You knew I looked off?”
“M’pretty good at memorizing all your different looks,” he had a smile that made her melt. “Like right now, s’one of m’favorites. Y’look relaxed. It happens once, roughly, every three weeks, I think. Lasts maybe four minutes if m’lucky,” he winked. She rolled her eyes and shook her head at him. But Harry noticed how her cheeks turned red. It made him want to continue flirting with her. She was fun to flirt with. Her sarcastic comments were funny, even when directed at him, and it only amplified how smart he knew she was.
As much as Harry wanted to stay on that bench for as long as she did, he finally stood. Then rubbed the back of his head squinting at her, one eye closed. "Do you have a pencil?" He asked shyly.
She snorted, plucked hers from her pocket, and held it out to him. "I'd like it back," she reminded him. Even if he didn't, it was their thing now.
He rolled his eyes. "Wait here. It'll only take me half the time it took you." She rolled her eyes but pulled out a book from her bag and opened it to the page she was previously reading. "Hey kitten?" He asked. She didn't look up and Harry realized he never called her anything other than Your Majesty. He nudged her foot to make her look up. "Who did y’think I was talking to?" He chuckled.
"Who me?" She asked, but Harry noted the way her cheeks turned red. He rolled his eyes. "Sorry," she shook her head. "Did you need something else?"
His expression softened and he shook his head. "I'm sorry."
"Thank you," her voice was so gentle. "I'm sorry too."
"There's nothing y'need t'apologize for,” he shook his head quickly. “I was a complete ass," he admitted. She shrugged.
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not,” he said seriously. “Please don’t let anyone treat you that way.” She nodded silently. Knowing that she couldn’t promise that. Nor did she expect Harry to make her keep such a promise, but it made her heart squeeze with disappointment in herself. “Be right back,” he nudged her foot again as he headed back to the math building. She returned to her book and tried not to think about how Harry was probably right. This was the most relaxed she felt in months.
About forty minutes later Harry exited the building, walking at a leisurely pace. He sat on the bench once more. She didn't look up as he did but the butterflies in her stomach reminded her that he was there. Harry draped an arm across the back of the bench and then presented her pencil to her as if it were a bouquet of flowers. "How'd you do?" She asked gently.
He sighed, clucked his tongue. "Ninety-five,” she smiled but tried and failed to hide it from him. "I missed two negatives."
She giggled. "How embarrassing."
"How embarrassing," he mocked in a voice that was meant to sound like her. "You're so annoying. Do y’know he uses your work as the answer key?"
It had to be a record. The longest time they had been together without bickering. The number of times she smiled because of him.
The fastest someone had ever fallen for someone she was supposed to hate.
*
When Harry saw her boyfriend, he started looking for her. He was clearly busy with his friends and the women they were entertaining. But she wasn’t amongst them. He did a loop around the party. Looking for her even if he shouldn’t have. He stopped and chatted during his search so it wouldn’t be obvious. But even when he did stop and leaned against the wall, or grabbed another drink, he kept scanning for her.
When his loop came up empty of the pretty girl he liked to annoy, he wondered where she was and how he could ask without it being weird.
“Hey stranger,” Eleanor smiled and kissed his cheek. “Where’ve you been?”
Louis gave a polite wave to his best friend from across the way, a knowing smile on his lips, grateful that someone he trusted could keep an extra eye on his lady.
“Jus’ wandering around,” he mumbled.
Did he sound disappointed? He felt disappointed.
She stared at him and stood on her toes to reach his ear so she could speak to him directly over the loud music. “She’s not here.”
“What?” Harry pulled back like she slapped him. Was it that obvious? It couldn’t have been. He was just… wandering. Like a lost, lovesick puppy wondering where she was and hoping he would find her to make the weird feeling in his chest go away. Eleanor cocked an eyebrow at him. Silently telling him that hewas not fooling her. “Fuck,” he mumbled sipping his drink. It was pathetic and obvious.
“She doesn’t come to these things,” Eleanor shrugged.
“Why?”
She sighed, rolled her eyes. “He doesn’t want her here.”
Harry felt like the words Eleanor said were spoken in a language he didn’t know. “Who doesn’t want her here?”
“Her boyfriend.”
The grip on the bottle Harry was holding tightened. “Oh.”
“Go ahead. Ask.”
“Ask what?”
“Harry.” He closed his eyes and looked around to find him. It was like he already knew it was going to break him. He didn’t want El to continue even though he knew he needed to hear it. “What he told her to keep her away? She dotes on him too much. Worries too much about her reputation and everyone else’s. She doesn’t have fun. So, he doesn’t want her here. At these kinds of things.”
Honestly, a party didn’t seem like her vibe. She was more of a game night kind of girl. Someone you could take to a family cookout or a pool party with kids. But calling her not fun? Because frankly, Harry realized he hadn’t liked a single party he’d been to in months and it’s because her banter wasn’t there to keep him company.
“Oh,” he murmured. Trying to feign indifference.
“Don’t you want to ask what I think?” Harry didn’t look at his friend. His eyes finally landing on the man that didn’t deserve the sweet, intelligent, and beautiful girl he didn’t invite. He followed his path up the stairs to the second floor. Right as Eleanor told him the worst thing he had ever heard. “He hooks up with other girls and he has the common decency to do it behind her back,” she shrugged.
“What?!” He spit his eyes dropping to Eleanor again. How could she be so casual about this?
“She knows…or I would imagine she suspects,” she shrugged. “But she’s good for his family. They adore her. And he helps her reputation. She’s trying so hard to dig her family—”
It was like he knew. Everything. All of it made sense. Every tiny fiber of her being was made for someone else—whether it was her family who she adored and helped as much as possible, Isaac who didn’t deserve her at all, or even Harry, who honestly wasn’t sure he was much better than Isaac. “Does she know he sleeps with them?”
Eleanor looked at him suspiciously. “I don’t know if they sleep with him. I’m assuming. But I think it’s a pretty good assumption. He’s probably—”
Harry slammed his bottle on the ground shattering it and drawing the attention of those around him. He took the stairs two at a time and opened every door to every room—an unspoken party rule: never open a closed door.
He was breaking it.
A girl shrieked and he just knew he had found the right room. He didn’t pay any attention to her scrambling to cover up her naked chest and instead yanked him clean off the bed. “What the fuck!?” Harry shoved him back into the hall. He was only in his boxers. Piece of shit. Someone whistled and Harry shoved him harder as he tried to push him back and make his way for the bedroom again. “What the fuck, Styles?!”
“Call her,” he snarled. Shoving him against the wall again when he tried to continue escaping. “End it. Now.”
“What are you—”
“You’re going t’cheat on her?” Harry’s voice was venomous. “Her?” He repeated. Like that was really all he needed to say. Everyone was staring now. Harry kept going. “Call her and end it. Or I’m going over and telling her you’re done.”
The stupid prick tilted his head at Harry almost condescendingly. “Do you want her? She’s not like us.”
Harry didn’t like the way he said us. There wasn’t a single connection he wanted to be associated with in context of the vile piece of trash in front of him. Other than he managed to pick the sweetest girl he had ever met. But simultaneously, the very wrong girl to fuck with, because Harry also picked her. Unlike the moron in front of him, he was going to do everything he could to protect her and her heart.
“She’s doesn’t have money. She won’t understand—”
Harry punched him across the cheek before he could stop it and someone else watching groaned at the impact and Harry continued talking. “Tell her now.”
“Christ, Styles! What the fuck!” He rubbed his jaw.
“Tell her.”
“I’m not telling her shit. She knows she needs me more.” Harry jerked back like he had punched him back. “What? You don’t think she’d give up the reputation I have, do you?”
Harry watched him silently for only a moment longer. Without a word, he headed back into the bedroom grabbing the stray clothes. Before anyone could rationalize exactly what he was doing, he was sprinting down the steps and outside.
He threw them in the pool without thinking, ignoring the laughter and shouts from him as he hurried around the side of the house. He continued running and didn’t look back.
*
Harry was in her dorm. On her floor. Stopped in front of her door.
He knocked.
Repeatedly.
There was no answer, but he knew she was there.
So, he knocked again.
And again.
Eventually there was a click of her lock despite the fact it couldn’t be opened without her key card. Of course she was all about safety. Finally, he heard her voice starting to speak as she opened the door. “I’m off duty if you have an emergency, you’re supposed to see the RA on duty and—” The door was open and out of the way before she finished talking. Harry pressed himself inside. “Harry! What are you—”
“Tell me s’not true.”
“What’s not true?”
“Y’know he hooks up with other women?” He glared at her.
The color drained from her face.
Harry rubbed his hand across his face. “What is the matter with you?! Are you so desperate for a scrap of affection you’ll open yourself up t’diseases and shit because you—”
“Shut the fuck up,” she hissed tears stinging her eyes instantly.
“—need him? You don’t need him. You’re a thousand times better than him. A million! Y’could have any guy y’want, and they would still want t’grovel at your feet. Why would y’pick the one Goddamn asshole who—”
“You don’t know shit. Harry Styles. Stop pretending like you know me because —”
“Then explain it t’me because I can’t think of one fucking reason someone as intelligent, kind, beautiful, and hilarious as you would—”
A weird noise left her throat. Almost a squeak. It was adorable. If Harry wasn’t so mad. He would have told her such. Would have reveled in it because she was so fucking sweet and cute. But instead, she asked the most heartbreaking question known to man.
“You think I’m beautiful?”
Her question was so soft. So unbelievably shocked. Innocent. All the words left his head. It was too quiet. His shoulders were rising and falling too hard and too fast. “What?” He shook his head.
She looked at her feet. Harry scanned her. Her shirt was too big. It didn’t look like she was wearing pants. Maybe she wasn’t. Harry hoped she wasn’t. She only wore one sock. Like she lost the other in her sheets or maybe she only purposefully put one on because only that foot was cold. Those pretty eyes looked at him, anxiety, frustration, sadness, all staring back at him from the depth of her soul. “No one has ever said I’m beautiful before.”
Harry felt something die in his chest. He really thought he would start groveling on his knees for her because he was one of millions of guys who wanted to grovel at her feet. He wanted to be better. As soon as he made her cry over missing a test, he wanted nothing more than to be better for her. “No one?”
“Just... my family...” She shrugged.
“Kitten,” he rolled his eyes. “You’re… you’re really beautiful,” he rubbed a hand over his mouth, pinching his lower lip, as he scanned her. “In a way that probably makes a lot of girls jealous,” she snorted. He sighed. “Seriously. Your hair, kitten. It’s... so silky and shiny and your eyes,” he shook his head. “And your brain, my God,” he smiled softly. “M’not even going t’mention your body. Because you’re more than your appearance, but m’really...” he nearly sighed like a lovesick teenager. Maybe part of him still was. “You’re stunning, kitten.”
She blushed. Really blushed. So hard that Harry could see it in the dim light of her room cast from the twinkly lights she had strung around the window. Her cheeks were so red and utterly beautiful. For a second Harry thought it would be easy. All of it. Getting her to like him. Trust him.
Her face morphed into one of utter distrust. “That’s mean,” she whispered. “You’re... that’s mean to...” she shook her head.
“Kitten,” he frowned. Unable to believe she could think like that. He didn’t even know where to begin. Everyone had to like her. She was lovely, beautiful, so intelligent it took his breath away.
But she mistook his hesitation for the worst. She shook her head. “Forget it. You’re just... being nice to me because... because you feel bad or something,” she sniffled. The poor thing couldn’t even take his compliment. Harry wanted to cry. “Just the way everyone else does,” she laughed bitterly. “Thank you for being nice. Or whatever. For wanting to protect me. I don’t need it,” her voice cracked. “You can go back to your party or... whatever it is that—”
“Love,” his heart felt achy.
“No seriously. I get it. I’m too nice. I’m stupid to let him walk all over me but you don’t know the kind of reputation my family has in comparison to everyone here. So yeah. I let him use me as a prop—”
“Stop it,” he snapped and shook his head.
“—because I’m good for his image, too. Even if it makes me miserable and—”
“Kitten, I’m serious. Stop it,” his voice was almost raw. Like he had been screaming for hours. Maybe it was the combination of anxiety and frustration rushing through him. Like adrenaline but worse. He wanted to cry.
“—it’s pathetic that when people see me with him, they see this innocent—”
“Shut. Up.”
“—intelligent girl who doesn’t know anything because her family is poor and broken—”
“Stop it!” His voice took on a new octave. It made her words fall away.
They were both seething with anger and frustration. The tears in her eyes made him sick. Like when he made her cry because she couldn’t take her test. It was only the second time, but he quickly realized he hated it when she cried. “Stop what, Harry?”
“Stop minimizing who you are,” he practically growled.
“Everyone else does it.”
“Oh yeah? Name one time I’ve done that. If everyone has done it; tell me, kitten. When have I. Ever. Made you feel like less?”
She was silent. Finally.
Harry never made her feel like less. He annoyed the shit out of her. Pissed her off and made her sad. But he never made her feel like she didn’t deserve to be on that campus. Never made her feel inferior.
“M’going t’kiss you,” he warned stepping closer to her now that he made his point.
Her brain restarted. Her cheeks flushed again. “Harry, we can’t I’m... in a relation—”
He glared at her as her back pressed to her bed frame. Cornering her in her open room that was suddenly infinitesimally smaller than it was seconds before. “S’not a fucking relationship,” he snarled. “M’not sure what y’were doing. But you’re not doing it anymore. Not with him. Never again.”
“But we were—”
“Y’don’t need him,” he assured her. “Trust me.”
“But—”
“Y’have me, kitten. M’gonna do whatever y’need,” he cupped the back of her neck, making the words stop on the tip of her tongue and put one hand on the small of her back, pulling her to him swiftly and devouring her lips. She moaned instantly, seconds into the kiss. His lips felt like warm little pillows. Cushioning her own. It was intoxicating. Unfairly, he pulled away almost as quickly as it started. “Oh s’nice, kitten,” he praised. “Moaning already,” he pulled back and peppered kisses along her jaw. She whimpered softly, making him groan. “Y’make pretty little noises like that, kitten. M’not gonna be responsible for what comes next,” he warned pressing his lips back to hers.
Her fingers tangled in his hair at the back of her head. Harry leaned forward arching her backward and wrapping his arms around her tightly. He didn’t want to be aggressive, but there was something in the way her mouth tasted, the way her body felt, that he couldn’t stop kissing her. Hardly breathing, or maybe he was trying to breathe all of her in, he continued pulling her lips into his mouth. Hoping that somewhere along the way, they would get stuck like that. Destined to spend eternity attached by their kiss like a Greek punishment. Except the endless touch of her mouth wouldn’t be punishment. Because he wanted it to be endless. Wanted to spend forever showering her with affection because she deserved that and so much more.
“Can I stay the night, kitten? I’ll sleep on the floor if y’want,” his voice was practically ragged. His forehead pressed to hers. “I jus’ don’t want t’leave you. Please don’t make me leave.”
“You can stay,” she whispered, her voice breathless and airy. “Not on the floor, though.”
“M’not a bat, kitten. Can’t hang from your ceiling,” he joked.
She snorted. “C’mon,” she tugged him to her bed and pulled her in right behind her beneath her covers.
There weren’t many times Harry felt peace. “Harry?” She asked, as she settled into his embrace. His lips skimmed along her face, pressing every so often to whatever he could reach. Like he couldn’t stop himself.
“Hmm?”
“Thank you.”
He squeezed her. “You’re welcome, beautiful.”
She sighed. “Your mouth is pretty nice when you’re not talking,” she said quietly.
He chuckled. “Just you wait and see, kitten.”
*
As lovely as the night before was, she tried to maintain a semblance of her routine between replaying the kiss(es) and the angry confession over and over in her head. At the moment, she was grabbing lunch for herself. It was probably going to set her back a bit since she’d need to buy more pencils since Harry stole them all, but she was a little too tired to go without supplying herself with more energy. She pulled her wallet out as the cashier rang her up. “It’s all set, love,” she said sweetly. Tilting her head, she gazed at the woman as if it were a joke.
“I’m sorry?”
“It’s all set,” she repeated. “Your food’s been paid for already.”
She blinked, glanced around, looking for someone that fit the description of Good Samaritan. “Who...?”
“I’m not sure. I was just told that if you came through the line to tell you it’s been taken care of. You can get whatever you want,” she shrugged.
Blinking again she glanced around again. A line formed rapidly behind her. She gathered her items and headed for a seat. The one where Isaac usually joined her. But there was no Isaac. She read her book and listened to her music in silence. It was peaceful. When the hour was up, she headed back to the kitchen area to grab another snack, lining up behind the others waiting to check out as well. “Your food’s paid for.”
She felt like she was being pranked. “Again?”
“No, always.”
She felt like her mind was short circuiting. “What?”
“Your meals. All have been paid for. For the year.”
The snack she got was going to be uneaten because she felt like it was a prank. “I don’t understand.”
“I really don’t have more details than that. We were just told your food was paid for.”
“We?”
“My boss left, but I can have him reach out and explain it.”
“Please. Thank you.”
Stunned, she left with her snack. She headed to the library academic center. The tutors on her shift all waved to her. “That gift is for you,” Gabby said. At the front table was a fairly large giftbag. The kind you get for a kid’s birthday and put a board game in it. She looked at it curiously and pulled the tissue paper out of the way. She swallowed the lump in her throat realizing she didn’t need the dining hall manager to reach out to her after all.
She plucked the card from the slot on the side of the bag.
Half are probably for me anyway.
The bag was filled with packages of her favorite pencils. More than she would need for the rest of her undergraduate degree. Maybe even graduate. Or even the rest of her life.
She took a deep breath and pulled out her laptop and opened her email. She typed in Harry’s address, because she still didn’t have Harry’s phone number. Even after making out with him for hours. After waking up in his arms later than she was supposed to and letting his lips linger on her skin.
She wrote her message and pressed send before she could overthink it.
You didn’t have to do that. It’s way too much, actually. I’m a little uncomfortable imagining you spending THAT much money on food and pencils.
Well. If you died of starvation, I wouldn’t have anyone to bother. Kind of a boring way to suffer through the last two years of college—we have Real Analysis I and II next year. I can’t do that alone.
Thank you. That was... very nice of you.
You’re welcome, kitten. Coffee is free too; I went to every shop within walking distance and left your picture. An old ugly one from your mom’s Facebook page, don’t worry. Didn’t want you to get a big head about all of this. It’s not a big deal.
Help yourself to whatever you need and if you need something else let me know.
And this is my phone number so you can stop emailing me like it’s 2003.
She smiled fondly at the message. Closed her laptop and felt happier to be at work than she had in weeks.
*
Harry didn’t force anything. She was lying against his chest in her small room, on her small bed. “I’m sorry it’s so cramped,” she whispered.
“S’better for snuggling,” he shrugged and kissed the top of her head. “Go t’sleep, please, kitten.”
“Don’t you want to... I don’t know, fuck or something?”
“Well, when y’propose it so romantically like that,” he murmured.
She pouted. “I don’t know... I just assumed that...”
“That m’like Isaac? Please don’t make that assumption anymore.”
“So, you don’t want to fuck me?”
“Oh, more than anything,” he tilted her head up and brushed his finger on her warm cheek. “But not until you’re ready.”
“I literally just—”
“No. Y’think s’because we’re supposed to. Not because y’want to,” he shrugged one shoulder. “I’ll wait,” he promised and kissed the tip of her nose, and it was the lamest kind of kiss imaginable. Being twenty-one and melting over a kiss on the nose.
Yet it made her want a thousand more of them. Made her want to cry with how adored she felt. Harry didn’t care that she worked a thousand hours. He didn’t expect her to make out with him. Or blow him. Or anything sexual. No, he practically begged her to sleep in his arms.
It was unfair how sweet he was wrapped up in the body of someone that made her infuriated for the last year and a half. Right as she was about to pass out, she jerked herself awake involuntarily. “Y’okay, love?” He hummed as if she so much as coughed and not nearly punched Harry in the face with her movement.
“Tired.”
“I know, baby. M’trying t’make y’sleep,” he combed her hair down. Traced her spine in the same movement. “Surprise, surprise, you’re a bit stubborn.”
“Who me?”
“Want me t’sing?”
“Don’t want my ears to bleed, no.” Harry chuckled softly. Ignored her.
Then hummed.
It was so warm, so soft, it felt like magic. Harry could sing. That wasn’t on any Bingo cards when she thought about Harry. She didn’t even know what song he was singing. But it lulled her right to sleep.
*
Harry was wrapped around her in the small bed, his head tucked below her chin, his face smushed into the front of her shirt. If she wore a lower cut shirt, Harry would have been drooling on her boobs. “You’re able to breathe in there?” She whispered, threading her fingers through his hair.
“S’the only way I want t’go,” he promised, his voice muffled with sleep and the fabric on her body. “Or with y’legs wrapped around m’head,” he shrugged one shoulder. If Isaac said that to her, she would have punched him. When Harry said it, it made her want to wrap her legs around his head. Made her squeeze her legs together. “Felt that,” he mumbled. Her legs were wrapped around his waist, so he had no choice but to feel it. “Did y’sleep okay?”
She nodded. “Did you?”
“Extremely. Wrapped up in m’favorite girl.”
Her heart fluttered and she kissed the top of his head. Never would she have imagined Harry being so sweet and lovely like this. “Are you... going to be mean in public to me?”
“I hope not,” he pulled away and rubbed his eye. He looked sleepy and boyish. A devilish combination for her skeptical heart. “Have I been mean t’you?” He asked. “I know I tease, but mean?” She supposed he wasn’t mean. Maybe the teasing tricked her.
“I guess the teasing—”
“M’so sorry love,” he frowned and cupped her cheeks, kissed her softly on the lips. “No more teasing,” he promised.
“Well,” she laughed softly. “I kind of like teasing you.”
He smirked. “I don’t want you to think m’mean,” his eyebrows pinched together.
“Can I ask you a question without making fun of me?”
“I think that depends on the question, kitten. If y’ask me some basic math problem like what’s the indefinite integral of x-squared times cosine x or what’s a negative times a negative—”
“Are we dating?”
He stopped his joke and cupped her face. Dropped his forehead to hers and brushed his thumb along her cheek. “I would fucking hope so, kitten.”
She swallowed. “You don’t care that I’m broke? Or that I work a lot and I’m crazy and—”
“No, I don’t care ‘bout any of that. You’re m’favorite person to annoy. The person I look forward t’seeing most in class. You’re the entire reason ‘ve never skipped class.”
Her heart fluttered. “You can’t pay for everything, Harry. It was a sweet sentiment but—”
“M’not letting m’girlfriend starve,” he rolled his eyes.
Her heart definitely fluttered. He was sweet. Harry was sweet. What a revelation. Or maybe she always knew that.
She looked into those beautiful green eyes that made her feel overwhelmed in the best way. “Why do you call me Your Majesty?” She whispered quietly. Almost scared to hear the answer.
He rolled his eyes again. A favorite past time of his. “Because kitten,” he pressed his lips over hers briefly, then kissed her forehead, and finally the tip of her nose. He met her gaze and made sure she was focusing when he spoke again. In a few minutes she would be busy, overwhelmed, and stressed. For the moment, Harry wanted to make sure she knew just how important she was to him. “I think you’re a queen.”
--
general taglist: @justlemmeadoreyou @daydreamingofmatilda @sunshinemoonsposts @loving-hazz @likeapplejuicenpeach
@straightontilmornin @freedomfireflies @littlenatilda @kathb59 @babegoals
@angel-upon @lilfreakjez @mleestiles @ameliaalvarez06 @canyonmoondreams
@summertime-pills @daphnesutton @l4rrysh0use @perfectywrong @foreverxholland
@lovrave @st-ev-ie @pandeebearstyles @toosarcastic03 @luvonstyles
@tenaciousperfectionunknown @classychalamet @love-letters-to-uranus @emmaawbr @crossyourpeter
@kissinthekitchen @kittenhere @stylesfever @indierockgirrl @michellekstyles
@just-another-reader1098 @hermionelove @tiredinwinter @whimsy-willows @hannah9921
@fangirl7060 @triski73 @vikiii07 @prettygurl-2009 @madstyles3204
@angeldavis777 @tchlamqtsgf @lizsogolden @me-undiscovered @you-sunshine
@rose-girls-world @claimingharrystigertattoo @inlikea-coolway
I'm sorry if I missed anyone in the taglist. Please let me know if you'd like to join, if it didn't work, if you no longer want to be included, etc. :)
If you like this, check out my masterlist here
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yndrgrl · 1 year ago
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your boyfriend, katsuki bakugo, loves you dearly, but you're scared you'll never be deserving of him
cute lil dabble. lowkey songfic. fem! reader. angst to comfort. fluff. established relationship. any au. overthinking! reader.
warnings: there are none :D
a/n: picture a "too sweet" by hozier girl x "i wanna be yours" by arctic monkeys boy relationship !
-
katsuki is always characterized as hostile yet calculating, a man who knows exactly what he wants. he's destined to be the top of the food chain, everyone knows it. he's powerful man with a deadly gorgeous face, his fangirls would describe.
& in comes you. plain old you.
you honestly have no idea what katsuki sees in you. like, if you're digging deep in yourself, maybe he likes your for your dark, crude sense of humor that always seems to make him belly laugh.
it's said that he's an early bird. he's awake before you every single day, asleep & sound by 8:30-- on the weekends, he'll push it to 10:00. before you've said your first words of the day, he's already made his side of the bed, made & ate breakfast, put away the laundry, & is off to his morning run after his morning workout. his good habits he's developed early in life has benefited him in every way.
he never procrastinated on chores, his paper work is flawless, & you could learn a thing or two from his time management skills. he's always making time for spontaneous dates you wanna go on, festivals you wanna visit, & he makes sure that the pantry is stacked with your favorite snacks. any of your interests are his interests, even if he doesn't fully understand it.
when it comes to katsuki, you ought to wonder if he ever wants to experience something different from his strict, repetitive lifestyle. you sometimes feel stupid for wanting more out; you want to travel somewhere far away, you want to go out clubbing with a bunch of strangers, you want to move to the country side & live in a cottage. katsuki always reels in your dreams, encouraging you but also reminding you that you need to stay consistent to achieve them. you're jealous with how fast he can accept reality.
"babe? you listening?" katsuki questioned, snapping you out of your thoughts. you blinked a couple of times then nodded almost-too enthusiastically. he let out a little chuckle & stroked your cheek with his thumb. "what're you thinking about?"
"nothing, i'm sorry," you sighed with your hands in your lap. you both were on the couch, doing your own thing. he was on his phone, & you were supposed to be doing some work on your laptop, but you found yourself spacing out again.
"don't apologize. i'm just curious about what's going on in that pretty, little head of yours," he told you before he took your hand & pressed his lips against your knuckles. you thought to yourself, i'm not good enough for this man.
you debated whether or not to tell the truth. on one side, he has been your devoted boyfriend for years now, but on the other, he could just be asking out of curtesy. like, what if he actually does not care at all- "(y/n)? talk to me. i know you have something you wanna say," katsuki commented, scooting closer to you. he set the pillow that you placed your laptop on the coffee table so he could get your undivided attention. he caressed your thigh to help ground you.
you stayed silent for a moment, & he waited patiently. you swallowed, your eyes darted from his piercing red ones to the floor to his hands. finally, you said, "you're too sweet for me." he laughed & laughed, & you couldn't help but crack a smile. "what? what's so funny?" you pouted.
"sorry for laughing, princess. it's just no one ever calls me sweet. like, ever," admitted katsuki as he settled down from his fit of laughter. what he said was true though, he didn't have a problem with it. he was not sweet at all, he was rough around the edges & egotistical with the skills to back him up. he only ever thinks about himself & you. "but what makes you say that, hm?"
"well, for one, you always treat me out & take me anywhere i want. we never go where you wanna go," you pointed out, jabbing your finger in his toned chest playfully.
"that doesn't make me sweet. i have the money, & i don't fuckin' care about where we go to eat."
you chose to ignore him, rolling your eyes at him because that was his excuse every time. "two, you're literally in the prime of your life, & you choose to go to sleep at 8:30? how do you sleep so well?"
"(y/n), what is this really about?" he questioned. katsuki brushed your hair away from your face, tucking the silky strands behind your ear. "& don't lie to me, i know you."
"ugh, fineee," you groaned as you threw your head back. maybe it was for comedic effect, or to gather your thoughts & regulate the tears that started to well in your eyes. "do you think i'm like, worthy of you?"
"worthy of me?"
"yeah, do you think i'm good enough for you?" you rephrased, pulling your hands away from him to rub your upper arm. it's embarrassing to admit something, it's scary too. what if, once you point it out, he'll agree & leave you?
"'course i do! i'm the best around & i got the best fuckin' girl, why are you thinking this shit?" katsuki exclaimed, his passion that you wish you had seeping through to his tone. a moment of thick silence followed, you took a deep breath. you suck at emotions.
"you're too good for me, okay! you're so much stronger than everyone, & if that wasn't enough, you're insanely smart! i'm just... here. average at best. people praise you like the morning after an eternity of darkness. you're the rain after a heatwave. everything works out for you, & i'm just the one holding you back from even better things-"
"babe, you're not holding me back or whatever. you've never held me back," he stated like it was a fact, but you felt as though he was just saying that to calm you down. it angered you, & you were ashamed that you were angry because it wasn't even directed at him, it was directed at the fact you felt unworthy.
"no, you don't get it! i aim low because it's realistic for me, i can't afford to aim for anything else because i'm destined to fail. you, on the other hand... you have so much potential. don't you get embarrassed about having a girlfriend like me?"
"no." he answered so quickly, like it was rehearsed, like he knew what you were going to say. "i've never felt embarrassed of you ever. you're so fuckin' dense, you know that?"
you paused just to stare at him. katsuki sure had a way with comforting people. even after years of being a hero, he never learned how to traditionally comfort people. tough love, everyone would call it. but with you, he forced himself to be tender because you deserve treatment no one else gets from him.
there were so many things he wanted to say to you. don't you realize what you do for him? god, katsuki would go mad living without you now that he knows what life is like with you, his missing rib. the two of you are meant to be, you're two sides of the same coin. so what if he's as bright as the morning? you were his darling night, the very universe was visible through your eyes.
"you must be dense if you really thing you're just average. would i go for an average girl?"
"i mean-"
"no, the answer is no. you're deserving of love, my love. everything you've accomplished, everything you've overcome, you're just diminishing it because what? you think you're dumb or something? you- you..." you're the reason my world goes round, you are so talented, he was so desperate to shout these praises at you.
he was never one for romantic gestures through words. if he did, he would've been the best damn poet in the game. "i am yours."
it was such a simple sentence, yet it shook you to the core. you stared into his lively, crimson eyes. the look he gave you in return made your breath hitch; he was so deeply devoted to you, as deep as the pacific ocean.
you leaned in, capturing him in a kiss. tears rolled down your cheeks, your despair melting away. you felt like the two of you were kids again, sharing your first kiss. how could you doubt a man who so clearly, who so desperately, loves every bit of you.
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hrrtshape · 2 months ago
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things i manifested in the last 5 months.
◞ a trip to paris with my mom, because, obviously, i deserve cinematic montages of me walking along the seine in sunglasses and a red coat.
◞ a trip to italy’s ski resorts with my dad and brother, living my best après-ski la dolce vita moment, probably in a fur-lined coat, giving ‘mysterious heiress with a past.’
◞ a trip to ibiza. . .do i even need to elaborate? the sun, the sea, the absolute lack of thoughts in my head, just vibes.
◞ becoming more prettier. a few months ago, i took that test where a robot “according to science” calculates how pretty you are. i got about 52%, skip to right now and it shows 80%!!!!
◞ a trip to the belgium grand prix because i am a girl of culture and i like watching millionaires drive in circles really, really fast. everyone PLEASE manifest that charles leclerc falls in love with me.
◞ losing weight after ED recovery, but in a way that felt good and right, not in a ‘war with my body’ way, but in a ‘my body is thanking me for treating it with kindness’ way.
◞ and by extension… eating however much i want. not only in that “oh, i eat however much i want and don’t gain” (although, yes!!!!), but also that i don’t feel absolutely horrible, horrid and disgusting after eating past 8 o’clock.
◞ excuse my french, but, growing an ass!!!!!! this one gets its own fanfare because how does one thrive off a diet of carbs, croissants, burritos, and soy milk lattes AND still develop the physics-defying, gravity-defying, renaissance sculpture of a derrière??? the laws of biology are in shambles. the gym hasn’t seen me in months and it will continue to do so.
◞ my mom’s business POPPING OFF. the celebrities in my little nation are in her dm’s, the business is expanding into so many places, and the success!!!!! it’s only just beginning.
◞ shifting to my fame dr for 20 minutes and meeting timmy t!!!!! one second in my bed, the next in a make up chair. a cameo from hollywood’s favourite brooding poet boy. did he fall in love with me instantly? maybe. was i effortlessly captivating? always. the chemistry? palpable.
◞ cocktails!!! everywhere. i don’t even have to ask my parents anymore, they’re always in my hand at the perfect moment. divine intervention in mixology form.
◞ always being at the right place at the right time. no missed busses, no wrong turns, no long lines, no awkward “why am i here” moments. just perfectly timed entrances like i’m starring in my own movie. I AM the meet-cute.
◞ my mom and dad FINALLY getting along. a historic event. peace treaties (actual contracts) were signed, egos were dissolved, and my mental health got a break it so desperately needed. love this for 9 year old me who was probably getting bpd as everything occurred.
◞ my hair isn’t as oily anymore. and i DIDN’T EVEN SWITCH PRODUCTS. science is flailing, trichologists are confused, but i’m simply basking in my newfound ability to go days without dry shampoo.
◞ my nose??? smaller? upturned?? nature is quite literally BENDING to my will. my face is sculpting itself to perfection, no consultation necessary.
◞ also!!! my lashes have grown an INSANE amount. falsies who???
◞ my intuition reaching oracle of delphi levels. i don’t even need to second-guess things anymore. if i sense something, it’s FACT. the accuracy? terrifying. my inner knowing? undefeated. the people around me? spooked.
◞ eloquence. this is, lowkey (high-key), the most fortunate thing that had ever happened to me. i am patiently sitting and waiting for that 100% on my essays.
◞ me and my dad finally getting along. not in a dramatic, movie-moment way, just in the little things. the conversations that didn’t feel forced. the jokes that actually landed. the quiet understanding that we’re both trying, in our own ways.
◞ money. just… money. not in a lottery-winning way, but in a “somehow, i always have enough” way. in a “random discounts appear when i need them” way. in a “people keep handing me little opportunities” way. a quiet, steady flow.
◞ my painting and drawing skills getting better without me even noticing. one day, i just looked at something i made and thought, wait….when did i get this good? and that was a nice feeling.
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ib the amazing @solanasreality who i got the idea from !!
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revelboo · 3 months ago
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I love Everything Is Alright sm and GOD i feel so bad for Megatron in such a specific way. Imagine you're in charge of a group of astronauts and they keep running off to go fuck the alien fauna, like bestie I'd be losing my shit too.
That’s pretty much what’s going on. 🤣 Poor guy is having a breakdown over all of his followers being deviants. I feel almost bad about how much fun I’m having in traumatizing Megatron- I swear I really do like him. I just also love making it worse. 18+ content
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Everything Is Alright Pt 92
IDW Starscream x Reader, Soundwave x Reader, Megatron x Reader
• Choosing to ignore the furious Seeker, Megatron turns his attention to Soundwave and curls a lip. “For Primus’s sake, cover yourself,” he growls. Hand lifting to run over his face, he gestures at Starscream. Hears the Seeker actually hiss at him, wings flared and he ignores that, too. “That isn’t a pet.” Or maybe you are. A pet they frag. It’s not like this mess can get any worse. “Are both of you bonded to it?”
• It?! Spike still buried inside you, he’s aware of your little hands clinging to him. Of your fear and the way the bond amplifies it. “Keep away from my sparkmate,” he snarls. Stiffening as Megatron turns his stare on him, those cruel optics narrowing in calculation. Trying to figure out how to use you against him. To hurt him. Spark aching when you hide your face against his neck. Painfully aware of how fragile you are and that his frame is all that’s shielding you from Megatron’s anger. So it’s a surprise when Soundwave stands and moves between him and Megatron.
• “My sparkmate,” Soundwave says, hating the lie even as he makes the claim. Knows it’s necessary, though. Because if you only belong to Starscream, you’re as expendable as he is. Aware of Megatron’s dislike for the Seeker and that it isn’t wholly unwarranted. Starscream’s deliberately invoked his wrath so many times with so many plots and schemes. So Soundwave lies to keep you safe. And because he wants that, wants to keep you, hold you in his arms. If keeping the self destructive SIC on a leash is the cost, he’s willing to pay it for you.
• Why does it have to be like this? Holding onto Starscream as Soundwave lies to their leader, you just wish suddenly there was somewhere you could run away to with them both. Just the three of you. But you know how incredibly selfish the thought is as soon as you have it. To ask them to leave everything they know just for you? Star’s spark is still connected to you, tendrils of energy snaring you like he’s trying to hold onto you despite the threat looming over him. The feel of him wrapped around you helping calm the terror, because in his arms you want to believe it’ll be okay as foolish as it is. That feeling of safety singing through you despite the danger.
• “Of course, it is,” Megatron mutters. Two of his commanding officers both sparkbonded to an organic alien. The same alien. Why not? It’s not an epidemic of xenophilia, it’s an epidemic of insanity. “I understand having impulses, but this?” Sees Soundwave stiffen slightly as he gestures at Starscream and the human. His communications officer at least having the decency to look slightly embarrassed about it, the Seeker still glaring and defiant. “You understand that just because you’re fragging it, doesn’t mean it changes anything. You’ll bring me the… pet before reporting to your duties.�� And he can try to figure out what you’ve done to both of them. Some sort of pheromones? The interfacing can’t just be that good. So, it must be something you’re doing- some strange human mind control making his Decepticons all crazy. And Shockwave can figure it out since Hook is also compromised now.
• “You think I’m going to hand over my mate?” Starscream snarls, ignoring the warning look Soundwave shoots him. So furious he’s shaking as Megatron stares him down. Not again. Please. He can’t just give you to that sadist. Before Megatron had only thought you were a pet, but now that he knows you matter? Knows what you are to him? Tries to lift up, intending to fight and you cling to him. Hook a leg over his hip. Hears your frightened, little ‘don’t, please’ and his spark hurts with it. Because he’s still connected to you, can feel that fear isn’t for yourself it’s for him. And it tears through him, the unfairness of all of it. That he can’t just have this one thing, the only thing that really matters. “You’re not invincible,” he growls at Megatron, not caring if the warlord hears the threat there. Because to protect his mate? He’ll burn the world down around him.
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thewritetofreespeech · 2 months ago
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Can I request NSFW headcanons for Astarion, Gale, Wyll, Halsin, Dammon, Rolan, and Zevlor overstimulating his female s/o please?
Astarion
Overstimulating his partner is probably one of the things that Astarion enjoys most.
He loves watching them fall apart. Their world reduced to just him and the pleasure. Watching those pretty tears well up in their eyes.
Astarion won’t stop until they are begging, and then he finally releases them.
He whispers sweet nothings about what a good job they did and how sweet they are, as he comforts them.
Gale
Gale is into pushing limits (as we all know) and pushing his partner’s limits are one of his favorites.
Having sex corporeally again, Gale wants to re-remember everything about it, and what satisfying his partner. He is a stickler for research.
Gale will tease every part of their body and catalog the response. To the point that every touch causes a reaction and the research is moot.
He also has an arsenal of magical naughty tactics to help. Should his fingers need a rest.
Wyll
King of the Slow Burn, Wyll likes to take his time with his partner.
Whether it’s the first or the fortieth time they have had sex, Wyll always takes his time. They’ve waited long enough to enjoy.
He wants them to experience all life has to offer. Hear their moans, their gasps, their pleas for more or less.
It’s a blissful torment for him as well, as Wyll is not immune to any of this. But the waiting makes it all that much more worthwhile.
Halsin
As a purveyor of all things sexual, Halsin has tried overstimulation before with his partners. He likes the wait, the build up.
As with nature, a great passion takes time to grow like the mighty oak. And he would experience all that nature and his partner has to offer.
Halsin is open to all forms of stimulation but prefers his hands and mouth.
He would spend hours drinking their sweet honey, to the point that they and their sex was beginning them to stop. Which he does immediately if asked.
Dammon
It’s not intentional. Genuinely, that is not his goal.
Dammon just likes to cuddle and is very into frottage. Being close to his partner and just kissing & holding each other his actual preferred method of intimacy, over sex.
He’ll do it for hours if they have time. Not realizing that his partner is overstimulated until they beg him to fuck them.
Dammon will of course be surprised, blush, but happily comply.
Rolan
Much like Gale, Rolan has several magical attributes at his disposal. But unlike Gale, Rolan is not going this for ‘research’.
He abuses his powers to bully his partner. Possibly over some comment about his prowess or to get back at them for an argument.
The wizard would torment his love past the point of tears & apology. Eventually ending their torture with a mind shattering orgasm.
Rolan will apologize after. Realizing after, like with most things in his life, that he went too far. He would be apprehensive to try it again, even if asked.
Zevlor
Zevlor is less familiar with this practice. However, he is willing to try anything his partner wishes in the bedroom.
They start out slow. Calculated. Zevlor wants to make sure that he is doing it right and doesn’t want to hurt them.
He almost gives up when seeing their agony because of this. Not sure where the ‘ecstasy in agony’ comes from but continues as it is their request.
Afterwards he tells them that he enjoyed it, but Zevlor would prefer not to try it again. Maybe with him on the other end but he’s just not cut out for ‘tormenting’ his lover.
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tritoch · 3 months ago
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one thing I find neat about Emet-Selch is that his chauvinism is so intense that it actually prevents him from making the strongest possible case for the unique moral goodness of the ancients, and that this same mental distortion ties into his classic final fantasy need to turn into a Horrible Final Form Monstrosity for your final fight
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(for my part I think any minor unique moral goodness the ancients possess they have due to their status as demigods living in eden before the fall. even if they really are morally/intellectually/spiritually/magically/etc. superior to every modern eorzean on a 1:1 level it still doesn't change anything because 1) they are mythical and impossible, that's the whole point and 2) even if they weren't, they still have no particular claim to existence that is superior to anyone else's, no matter how good they are. but the point here is the case Emet-Selch is trying to make, which is that they are more "worthy" of life.)
when he's setting you up for the final amaurot sequence, Emet-Selch hits you with this one:
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it's a solid line! stops the party cold for a second.
it's also...not that impressive. do I think if we called a big world meeting that half of everyone would just jump up to be chosen? maybe, maybe not. but, sorry: we're having a big world meeting? are we also demigods with their every material need fulfilled in this version? do we have a one world government that almost everyone seems to fully trust telling us that it knows for real a way to stop the meteor heading towards earth? because honestly i think as soon as we start creating structural similarities like that, it becomes a lot more likely. and every step you take towards making the comparison happen on level ground makes the idea that the ancients were possessed of some unique moral fiber that made them capable of this sacrifice (as opposed to the undeniable abilities in magic and global governance that actually enabled it) seem less and less likely.
and especially if you consider it in the context of what actual people are like. human (and presumably eorzean) history is replete with examples of people sacrificing themselves to save others, even though none of us are immortal wizard philosophers. i don't know how the white-room thought-experiment "will half of you die to save the others???" turns out. but do i think, across a grand rolling catastrophe, that half our population would sacrifice itself to save the other half in a million individual acts of sacrifice to save a parent, a child, a lover, a friend, a stranger? that seems significantly more plausible. altruism and sacrifice for others is even pretty frequent in animals! it's not a very unique moral behavior!
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(stanford encyclopedia of philosophy on biological altruism)
but that's not the only sacrifice the ancients made. roll the tape, hythlodaeus!
...Yet oh how the star had suffered. So many species lost. The land was blighted, the waters poisoned, and even the wind had ceased to blow. Once more did our people give of themselves to Zodiark. Another half of our race sacrificed to cleanse the world; to ensure that trees and grasses and myriad tiny lives would sprout and grow and flourish.
(every time I read this speech and hit the ff1/3/5 ref about the land and waters and wind i become mylongestyeahboyever.avi)
this is the step beyond, and it's what separates the ancients from modern humans. they viewed themselves as stewards of the star and really meant it; whatever other criticisms you might level, you can't doubt the depths of their commitment. and this i think really does make them morally distinct from modern people, or at least raises that possibility in a much more compelling way than the first sacrifice. half of the living population sacrificing itself not in a moment of duress and apocalypse but in a moment of calm? when the sacrifice isn't for anything but plants and animals and some tiny proto-eorzeans? that kind of cold, calculated, long-term altruism, aimed at people and living beings that are nothing like you...that does feel like something a little more unique, more worth preserving. even in just the text of the game, we can say with real certainty that the ancients were at least more capable of facing their problems and had greater moral integrity and care for the world than, say, the people who made ra-la.
but emet-selch can't ever say that because rejecting and dishonoring the decision the ancients made as stewards of the star is his primary goal.
like, "my people were uniquely morally good. half the living population sacrificed themselves not for their loved ones or for the survival of their people but simply for the world. for the trees and grasses and the wind and the water. for the humblest insects and for the summer breeze and the tides." that fucks! damn, you got me there! i watch enough people throw aluminum cans in the trash on a weekly basis that i find this sincerely moving and beyond the seeming abilities of my own brethren! oh no, i'm being persuaded by the fascist immortal space wizard!
"and therefore, because they are uniquely morally good, we are going to sacrifice and kill the very things they gave their lives to save, so we can have them back :)" well, shit. i'm experiencing some dissonance here.
but you can't actually lie to yourself as long as emet-selch without distorting your understanding of the truth. you cannot choose to see the world falsely half the time and clearly the other half. in committing to self-deceit and willful ignorance regarding the value of the modern world, emet-selch blinds himself not just to the world as it is but to the ancients as they were. if he could describe accurately the ways in which the ancients were genuinely noble and benevolent, he would also have to able to see clearly how he has entirely deviated from that ideal. and he cannot do that and stay on the path he has chosen, so he simply chooses not to see things accurately.
i cannot help but link this blindness of his to his trial. here, at what seems to emet-selch to be the last stand of the ancients, he says to you "to be clear this fight IS a metaphor, and in that metaphor i stand in for the Entire Unsundered World."
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and yet, in standing against you, he betrays both the customs of the ancients and his very title, itself a direct signifier of the mission he was charged with as one of the convocation of fourteen: "to ensure that all is right in creation, that our star may know a brighter future." contra elidibus, for whom remembering his duty to the ancients is one and the same act as remembering his name, emet-selch declares his own to be mere pretense. and that's before we even reach the matter of his transformation.
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emet-selch believes the only way he can save the ancients is to betray their principles, forget their greatest triumphs, and abandon their trappings. he renounces almost everything of the ancients, save for his pale and sad and faceless amaurot, in the hopes of bringing them back.
i am reminded a little of borges's three versions of judas, a short story which uses the lens of fictional literary criticism (appropriate for a story as interested in competing narrative interpretations as shadowbringers is) to recast the betrayal of christ by judas not as the greatest of sins but as the greatest of sacrifices.
The ascetic, for the greater glory of God, vilifies and mortifies his flesh; Judas did the same with his spirit. He renounced honor, morality, peace and the kingdom of heaven, just as others, less heroically, renounce pleasure. With terrible lucidity he premeditated his sins.
and, in turn, the sardonic footnote to that very same line, which unsettles that sentiment as soon as it has been presented:
Borelius inquires mockingly: “Why didn’t he renounce his renunciation? Or renounce the idea of renouncing his renunciation?”
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seventeenytiny · 9 months ago
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Best at Oral Sex (with female partner)
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Author's Note: Just a little idea that popped into my head, let me know if you agree or disagree <3
SMUT MDNI
Hyunjin - He'd be so slow and sensual. Every single movement he makes is calculated and intentional. He reads your face and focuses on how your body reacts to make sure you're always feeling good.
Minho - His techniques are the opposite of Hyunjin's but he's still an absolute beast at eating pussy. He's fast and rough, his face smushed into your pussy so he can make sure he takes everything in. He loves the taste, the smell, the way you feel, everything.
Felix - He's a people pleaser, and that applies to sex. He always wants his partner to feel good, as a result he's gotten pretty good at eating you out. He eats you out with a smile, perfectly content with watching you moan and squirm.
Chan - He's gotten pretty good at eating pussy, he's quite the tease while he does it too. He also figured out that he can use his nose to push against your clit while he's working on you. A man who's not afraid to try new techniques.
Seungmin - Making you feel good sexually and romantically is an important part of his love language. He takes his time to ensure you're comfortable and relaxed the whole time. Sometimes likes to get a vibrator in the mix.
Changbin - Sometimes he fumbles a little bit, but really its because he's so horny he's struggling to focus on using his mouth. He grinds into the bed, desperate to feel some sort of relief. His constant movements sometimes work in your favor, sometimes they don't.
Jisung - Similar to Changbin, sometimes he gets so horny he struggles to lock in. He really wants to eat you out and enjoy your pussy but he gets so eager to get his dick wet. He wants to skip right to the best part.
Jeongin - I think he's a little more traditional in bed and likes to focus more on the actual sex. He won't skip foreplay because he understands how important it is for you, but he doesn't want to spend too long on it. If you want him to eat you out you'll have to bring it up yourself or else he won't be thinking about it.
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livingdeadhorse · 9 months ago
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idk what this is. i like robots. i’ll clean these up later. i think.
anyways while drawing these I started thinking abt like. idk does this count as an AU.
General shit:
I didn't make it clear, but the robots that have pupils were built without a hardcoded purpose. They've always been free to explore what they want to do. The robots with fully colored "scleras" were created with a purpose from the jump, so their creators didn't feel the need to make them appear more "human".
The more expensive a robot's parts are, the less clunky it is.
Right now, I'm going with "their human family built them" but that's liable to change.
The designs are also liable to change because uh. duh.
Celestia Ludenberg:
Viewed the robots with an imbued purpose as interesting and superior (something something humanity's advancement). She wants to be praised like that, so she emulates them
Her cat loves how much heat she radiates so it's always near her.
Most of her upgrades are cosmetic but if they aren't, they're stupid. She won't upgrade her CPU or her motherboard, but she'll load up with three 4090s that her other components can't even keep up with. Yes, she does it to flex.
She'll distract from bootleg, refurbished, or shoddily painted parts by turning on her RGB. It gets annoying.
She knows that she's fairly unsettling and she revels in it.
All things considered, her cable management is pretty good.
Her gambling skill is still just luck here, but she tells everyone it's because she has a never-seen-before GPU(& CPU) that does calculations at insane speeds.
Most don't believe her but have no way to disprove her lie.
Kiyotaka Ishimaru
I can't decide if he was built by his father or his grandfather.
Either way, he was built before Toranosuke's downfall, so his internals were all pretty expensive for the time. Luckily for him, that means he was slightly future-proof and has a viable upgrade path.
Unluckily for him, this means he's stuck with really old parts and his 8gb of RAM can barely keep up in a 32gb world sadge
His chassis is built from secondhand or scrap parts. It's why his joints are so ancient in comparison to the rest of him and why he has so much cabling that he can't seem to manage.
Shit chassis = shit airflow = he is always overheating
BUDDY IS YOUR CPU BURNING HOW IS THERE SMOKE
Older tech = LOUD AF. The class bought him new fans to avoid the loud ass whirring. It's not quiet but he used to sound like a jet engine.
He runs on Debian. It was originally going to be Arch since it's lightweight but Debian's whole "old but stable" reputation fits him more. I don't see him properly dealing with bleeding edge software anyways.
His room is filled with past HDDs that no longer have storage. He deems all educational material important so he refuses to delete any lessons. He doesn't have the money for SSDs.
Mukuro Ikusaba:
Is usually in reconnaissance mode, meaning she has a shit ton of hidden cameras in her chassis
This used to benefit Fenrir. Now it benefits Junko.
She can have her parts shifted around with no issue to make room for a better arsenal.
She’s durable in her reconnaissance mode but she’s nigh on untouchable in her combat mode. Her chassis gets 10x bulkier and she can split her attention to several different tasks on the battlefield.
Fenrir Mercenary Group doubles as a weapons company. Mukuro is the only model of her kind though.
They tried to give her reconnaissance model the look of a “normal girl” so she could gather info more efficiently. They failed real bad. They also didn’t account for the fact that Mukuro isn’t good at socializing.
She allocates a CPU core to a process dedicated to Junko. 24/7 365
She believes herself to be less capable of emotion than she actually is. She can’t seem to find the system process that triggers such painful emotions.
Chihiro Fujisaki
Each “fold” in her skirt doubles as a screen. Think of the skirt as having two layers: the top shell and the under shell. The top shell is what doubles as a screen.
Optimized her hardware to work on code as fast as possible (fingers, skirt, etc).
She tends to test out new software on herself regardless of their compatibility with her pre-existing shit. She constantly has to reinstall her OS, but it’s all fun for her.
Speaking of her OS, I was going to make her run on Gentoo but IDK cause of the compile times. It’d be faster if she used distcc but I can’t see her screwing over her classmates like that lol.
So I’m between Nix and Arch.
Insecure about the fact that she overhauled her original model so extensively. Got made fun of for being a ‘defective’ robot. Her father supports her modifications but she still feels bad about having ‘failed’ somehow.
Cue identity issues
She helps out her classmates when it comes to repairs.
Tendency to stay up programming leads to high uptimes. If her friends notice her lagging or crashing, they’ll try to get her to shut down. (In a computer sense lol, not an emotional shut down)
Do y’all remember the xz utils backdoor? Yeah that’s how extensively she combs through code.
Sayaka Maizono
I can’t decide if she was built to be an idol or was originally some other type of robot.
Loves to make kids smile, so she has a sort of candy mechanism in her arm.
Everything about her glows or spins. You will never get bored looking at her.
Her skirt isn’t actually see through I just didn’t feel like erasing the hip joints lmao.
If corpos give her manager enough money, she has to perform with literal ads on her.
State-of-the art facial recognition software. It makes her fans feel special to have their names remembered.
She has a regular sleep cycle due to how load-intensive her everyday life is. Has to shut down for a couple hours every week at least.
Her psychic ability is just her running a million calculations based on people’s behavior and sensing which one is most plausible. This feature is in place to avoid PR disasters during interviews or public appearances.
There really aren’t enough worker’s rights regulations in place for robots.
The company gets alerts whenever she freaks tf out, so she feels even more stifled and repressed. Chihiro helped remove this.
Kyoko Kirigiri
Can’t decide if she was built by her father or grandfather. Probably just built by Jin and he “left” her in Fuhito’s care.
Fuhito made her go through several modifications, hardcoding his own investigative skills into her system.
Her grandfather loves her but has fucked up ideas about her own autonomy.
The events of DR:K still happen. She chose not to replace her hands.
Fuhito doesn’t make much use of a backdoor in her system anymore. He used it a lot more when she was a child but he sees her as a viable heir of the Kirigiri clan now. Chihiro isolated the backdoor to a separate SSD anyhow.
Still complicated father-daughter issues
Everything about her (but her OS) is proprietary, probably commissioned from Towa Industries. Her OS is a fork of Mint. The Windows 7 UI is just because I imagine her grandfather is One of Those lmao.
Has way too many scanners and sensors. She can’t test any evidence herself but she can gather a fair bit of information. Has a vast database for cross-comparison anyways.
Same issues as Togami and Mukuro: sees herself as less capable of emotion than she actually is.
The ramen noodle incident called for actual repairs.
Byakuya Togami
His superiority complex is far worse because he was literally CREATED to be the perfect Togami. You can’t tell him shiiiiiiit.
Gold joints. Scoffs at those with unoptimized cable management or software.
He’s constantly streamlining his own processes. Brings up that he runs on his own OS when Nobody Asked.
Had a similar backdoor to Kyoko’s but Koji did check that one. Obsessively. Nobody would tell Byakuya but He Just Knew. The lack of privacy irritated him. Aloysius helped fix it once Togami finally took over.
Only trusts Aloysius with his repairs. Has a hard time admitting when he needs repairs in the first place so Aloysius hides it under “monthly maintenance”.
Does everything from the terminal even when he 1) shouldn’t and 2) can’t. Bragging rights. He has written a bunch of his own scripts though to speed things up.
Kernel and OS provided to him by Koji. (UNIX-based. Proprietary) Byakuya maintains and builds his own updates. Doesn’t trust cheapskate peasants to do it for him.
Anti-FOSS. For him at least.
Has glasses for the aesthetics. Doesn’t need them.
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arcanistsanctum · 5 days ago
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‎‎​‌‏‏. Reverse:1999 Resource Guide
These are links to some of the archives, lorecrafters and guidemakers that I follow and regard highly for their expertise, dedication, and contributions to the community. Making this list is also for my convenience.
If you know other sources, please share them! I will edit the post and add them here. Maybe one day I will also contribute to transcripts on a separate blog. We don't have enough of such precious records for a heavily lore and story-based game! Feel free to share your lorecrafting website/blog/channel too!
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Archives
Websites/Blogsites
Huiji (CN) - CN Fanwiki, written in CN, with consistent updates. Really goated. Gamekee (CN) - Another CN Fanwiki, also written in CN. Some pages may not be updated. Arcanist Sanctum (Global) - That's us! R1999 Logs (Global) - Has some main, event and anecdote story transcripts. Reverse: 1999 Wiki (Global) - EN Fanwiki. They may be behind on working through some profiles, records and transcripts. UTTU Merui (Global and CN) - The website is also WIP. But it is shaping to contain news (including EN translations for CN updates), character profiles, story transcripts, music list, timeline, and I believe recorded CGs too.
Repositories
Myssal's Assets Repository (CN) - In-game assets. It has everything. Myssal just that goated. reverse 1999 png (CN) - PNGs/cutouts telegram. Russian language but you can use character tags by clicking on pinned message. They accept requests, but you probably will have to ask them in Russian. Their cutouts can be accessed and downloaded by going through post comments. Posts with arrows.
Documents
Abyss_Idiot's links (Global) - Transcripts, archives and general lore. Actually lots of records done by several Discord members. May not be updated. As of making this list, I haven't seen anything from 2.0 onwards.
Youtube
八咫烏_Merui (CN & Global) - Event and main story playthroughs without commentary Reverse: 1999 Timekeeper (Global) - They have everything recorded. And I mean everything. Reverse 1999 Archive (Global) - On hiatus (?), they pretty much covered event and main stories up to Notes on Shuori.
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Lorecrafting & Story Analysis
Youtube
Apeironite - Pretty chill format. Interesting in-depth analyses. As of now, I don't know any other YT content creator who tackles on game lore as much as he has. FructoseTolerant - While there have yet many Reverse:1999 character analysis content in her channel, once she does post one, it's really good. I recommend watching and listening to her thoughts!
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Guidemakers
Websites/Blogsites
Prydwen (CN & Global) - Tierlists, psychube recs and character guides Gnomon (Global) - I am in-love with this website tbh. Has all character information, including sprites! Effect descriptions, material sources and descriptions, resonance build (up to R15), psychube recs, team recs, and very easy to follow guide on how to play each character + rotations! Also has information on series of dusks artefacts and mechanics, reveries in the rain guides, and tips for mane's bulletin! GAAAAAHHH!
Documents
Discord Community Tierlist (CN) - Tierlists, calculators, builds. Likely where most of the global theorycrafting started. bluforest's Scuffed Page for Recommended Resonance Layouts (CN) - Also has resonance codes! Spiritzhl's Unit Build Guide (CN) - Psychubes, resonance, portrays, reveries and euphoria info, critter rehabilitation guide. Arcalive Reverse 1999 (outdated) - Written in KR. Resonance and psychube recommendations, calculators.
Youtube
Jakazin (CN & Global) - Comprehensive character guides Devibul (CN) - Puzzle guides, character showcases Destroth (Global) - Comprehensive character guides, showcases
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Useful Tools
Kornblume (CN & Global) - Character planning and summoning history Closure++ (CN) - Planning and calculations, and written in CN. Here's MaTeIriA's guide to using it if you can't understand CN like me. It does have a built-in EN language option but it doesn't work for me. I don't know if it works for you. Depending on your device, you may also have to zoom out to see the entire page. Timekeeper (Global) - Summon tracking
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bull-shit-suji · 10 days ago
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not that this is a particularly profound take but imo i think the dadbastian trope IS pretty applicable in canon if you just like. Look at it from a slightly skewed angle.
it's not that i'm coming at this in a "sebastian is gradually changing for the better and learning to empathize with and/or regard o!ciel as someone he genuinely cares for" way because, as much as that narrative is fun and angsty and Just So Happens to make sebastian a little easier to relate to, it clashes with how calculated he canonically is.
that being said! he absolutely is changing. his character arc revolves around a realization that the tactics he's comfortable using aren't good enough, and this goes wayyy beyond undertaker being two steps ahead of his "punch first, ask questions later" instinct. everything sebastian does is catalyzed by a belief that, no matter how treacherous the situation becomes, he'll be able to figure it out with little to no effort given his superiority as a supernatural entity.
ciel and sebastian's dynamic prior to emerald witch relies on this ethos. ciel has a goal and views sebastian as the sole avenue through which he can accomplish it because he's a demon. ciel feels unsafe and views sebastian as his only source of protection because he's a demon. all sebastian has to do to maintain this dynamic is be scary and generally infallible which, surprise! are natural dispositions for him.
enter BOC, in which this dynamic is challenged during ciel's initial asthma attack. this is the first time sebastian is relatively helpless to keep ciel alive - he has to defer to a human doctor because there's literally. Nothing he can do. which is then paralleled by ciel's second flair up.
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there's a reason ciel's asthma is referenced again in this scene. there's a reason sebastian looks so skip-happy while carrying out ciel's order of burning that bitch to the ground. he doesn't have to question his abilities! he doesn't have to alter the dynamic! he can keep flexing his demon powers anytime shit hits the fan and ciel will always come crawling back to him.
sebastian's fatal flaw isn't just that he's muscle-brained - he's also stubbornly, willfully ignorant of his own weaknesses. sure, he was completely useless in preventing ciel's asthma back at the circus, but that's fine, who cares! he gets to fall back on his strengths and ignore how powerless he actually was.
welcome to BOA! for context, prior to this arc, sebastian rarely, if ever let ciel see him expending any kind of effort, i.e. he's in a constant battle with the servants to keep the manor from descending into chaos and purposefully tries to hide it. this isn't just a butler aesthetics thing, it's also an "I'm a demon and everything is easy for me" thing, to the extent that sebastian continues attempting to uphold his unflappable demeanor when he's quite literally on the verge of collapsing.
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sebastian's tactics aren't all that's challenged in BOA - his entire persona gets irreparably damaged. ciel sees him be outsmarted. ciel sees him injured and genuinely struggling to keep the former safe. this should be very bad news for their dynamic;
except, it isn't.
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ciel responds so positively that it makes sebastian Yapper Of The Century michaelis momentarily speechless! he then immediately tells ciel to cut that shit out, thus deferring once again to a dynamic that's rapidly crumbling before his eyes and ignoring how effective his accidental appeal to pathos was in retaining and even strengthening ciel's attachment to him.
which leads me to emerald witch, aka the cataclysm for sebastian's change. on top of undertaker being a constant, underlying threat to his food, sebastian ONCE AGAIN has to deal with said food's delicate mortality.
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obviously, sebastian is all out of sorts, but his expressions / the way he's framed when he's alone (or not being perceived) absolutely floor me. he looks genuinely distressed after speaking to the other servants. he's drawn in these bird's-eye and wide-shot views while in the forest, creating an isolated, pensive atmosphere and illustrating him (a big, bad demon) as nothing short of small.
he's conflicted. which is weird, right? this isn't the first time his food has gotten sick. moreover, ciel isn't in any active danger - he's having a PTSD response. sebastian is not stupid, he knows this, and should be either confidently reminding ciel of the power he wields or threatening to eat him right then and there; and yet! he waits multiple days before reverting to these (historically effective!!) responses.
it's not just that he's a picky eater - this is sebastian, for the first time in the series, recognizing how fragile ciel's attachment to him is. he's doubting himself. his food no longer views him as its only source of safety, has rejected him, and it's entirely due to sebastian's own negligence.
he's been ignoring his weaknesses. he's been reliant on ciel looking past multiple instances of helplessness in light of how terrified the kid is and how powerful sebastian makes him feel. it's not a coincidence that ciel's near-death experience was exacerbated by sebastian disregarding the former's symptoms to go beat up a werewolf (leaving him ALONE in a foreign, SUPPOSEDLY CURSED castle) until those symptoms, literally, hit him in the face.
it doesn't matter how incapacitated ciel is - sebastian's presence should be enough to calm him, and it isn't, and it's his fault.
this is where sebastian really starts to change. (mind you, the chapter following ciel's initial rejection is titled "That Butler, Change", so do with that what you will.) though we aren't told this explicitly, i think he looks to instances wherein something other than fear drove ciel's attachment (BOA), as well as to the only person ciel would let near him while panicked (finnian, who ciel appears to be closest with amongst the servants and was projecting onto out of grief for his twin). he dials back on the demon vibes. he slowly begins altering his rhetoric.
enter blue cult!
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remember what i said about sebastian not wanting ciel to see him struggle? to be cognizant of his weaknesses? as much as the situation was largely out of his control, it's interesting that sebastian allowed his expression to convey upset given that he views emotion of any kind as a weakness.
this isn't to say his sulking isn't genuine - i like to think his clinical narcissist brain was about to pop at the mere thought of not being praised; but! when put in context with his nature, his façade, how every single thing he does is calculated, especially around ciel, this Wildly out-of-character expression gains a new meaning.
another example after ciel returns from getting his blood thieved:
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two things: one, sebastian is learning! he almost verbatim references his mistake in emerald witch, meaning he had to have acknowledged it between then and now. two, he does this verbally, explicitly, thereby allowing ciel to witness his panic AND be made aware that sebastian is capable of failure. he could have marched back into the music hall and wrangled the s4. he could have said "ah shit, that's not good, let's go find a doctor". instead, he rambles on about how this is all his fault to a degree that's so excessive it's kind of comical.
and you know what! i don't believe a goddamn word of it. it is so significant that he immediately switches gears after his instinctual big-scary-demon reaction. the sebastian we knew at the beginning of the manga would NEVER let ciel think he was genuinely upset or flawed to the extent of endangering his charge, as that would directly contradict ciel's perception of him as perfect, strong, and safe.
sebastian is thus playing on the dynamic shift that occurred in BOA: he is encouraging ciel to view him as a (rarely!) imperfect being who is struggling to maintain a façade. as someone willing to go to the ends of the earth for him, to care for him, to defy his nature for him, because there are now far too many factors beyond his control to rely on fear alone.
honestly? it's a masterful execution. sebastian's tweaks to his persona are subtle: he gets a little sillier, he offers more praise (under the guise of banter), he tries to make ciel feel bad for "leashing" him.
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(i wasn't going to include these panels but. dude. the way he backtracks after the initial comparison between himself and elizabeth only to start pontificating about what the "heart" wants. that is such a purposefully dual-ended rhetoric and insane to hear from mr. evil personified.)
he even displays an artfully-skewed version of grief upon finding angi's body (again, that emotion might have been somewhat genuine, but it feels intentional that he chose to express it with ciel in the room) to foster belief that he is capable of like. Caring for people?
circling back to forces beyond sebastian's control, here are two examples of sebastian's reaction to r!ciel's return:
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oh BABY. "neither you nor my love are real"?
on-the-nose dialogue aside, sebastian's expression between these panels had me stumped for years. it would make sense for him to convey sympathy to convince ciel of said "love", HOWEVER it's odd that he would continue to do this despite not actively being perceived while in the carriage. something about this feels a little too genuine - especially considering how he's visibly tweaking throughout all of r!ciel's reveal chapters. as much as looking distressed/concerned is likely a conscious decision, i don't think he's fabricating the emotion entirely.
which leads me to: why does sebastian feel the need to alter the dynamic? sure, it was precarious at best and ran the risk of ciel not liking his pet demon all that much, but there's no imminent danger in that. ciel needs sebastian to achieve his revenge and sebastian has made himself out to be the only dependable, constant person amidst ciel's friends/family inevitably leaving him, AND has a trump card of total autonomy over ciel's soul.
... unless, of course, one of the family members he'd lost miraculously came back from the dead, the exact family member sebastian had eaten right in front of him, and was attached at the hip to a creature familiar with sebastian's flaws far before the demon was ever aware of them, that has proved itself more than capable of killing him.
oh he's concerned alright; there is a very real chance that ciel might back out of the contract. he's forgone his revenge before while in a similar trauma-induced headspace; only, this time, sebastian would be powerless to stop him. in truth, at any point since BOA, his meal could have run off to undertaker and there would have been shit all he could do about it. sebastian was slow to acknowledge this, granted, but up until EW there had been virtually no reason for ciel to do something like that.
now there are reasons. and girl, not only is sebastian concerned, i think he's a little scared.
he's functionally lost all ground in keeping ciel dependent on him. it's no longer enough for ciel to regard sebastian as a maliciously convenient product of circumstance - he has to form some other connection.
so, sebastian blurs the line between servant and guardian. he plays on associations he'd established in the past: nagging over ciel's health, taking over his studies, complimenting him, disciplining him, crafting his own form to look remarkably similar to vincent (and no, i don't consider this an instance of same-face-syndrome, look at their bangs. tell me that's not intentional). choices once made out of cruelty, out of a desire to worsen ciel's emotional turmoil, now repurposed to convince him of a devoted, endearingly-demonic parental figure and hoping this will be enough should there come a time wherein ciel is given a choice between two blasphemous falsifications of his family.
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sebastian pivots hard. he avoids relying on his supernatural abilities unless absolutely necessary, despite countless opportunities to do so, to the extent where you almost forget he's not human. he does not leave ciel's side. he lets himself appear dirty and exhausted. he allows ciel to see how uncertain he feels, how helpless he is, knowing the true reason will be lost in translation because ciel is a child, and no matter how conscious that child is of sebastian's nature, he will instinctively revert to seeking out a parent.
the whole "butler aesthetics" shtick flies right out the window at the end of 147. i cannot physically articulate how improper it would be for a servant to grab his master's face and scold him. in front of company. you know who does that? a parent. this is straight up panic on sebastian's part. he is willing to run the risk of acting uncouth in order to brand those fatherly associations right onto ciel's underdeveloped frontal lobe.
and. and this might just be speculation. but.
it's working.
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i cannot think of a single goddamn reason for ciel to do this. you wanna know something? his excuse is complete horseshit. sebastian is dressed as a butler, something passengers in a first class train compartment would recognize instantly. even his undercover persona of a valet wouldn't warrant tea with an aristocrat. as much as i'd like to believe ciel is in on the charade, i can't find any evidence nor does it seem realistic that he, a child, would fully grasp that level of manipulation, regardless of how mature he acts.
oh, hey, sebastian's being a little cryptic with that snowfall line. i bet it's completely random and he's never made weather-themed references in any of the prior arcs!
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this is. One page. after ciel tells him to take a day off in BOA. he is directly referencing the first time he was made aware of how effective a disingenuous father-son relationship could be.
in BOA, he appears slightly ruffled by the dynamic shift, as this endangered the status quo. in the train car, he's absolutely ecstatic. look at him! that's his "I Just Manipulated This Preteen Sooo Good" face. he looks like an animal. he looks like he's about to turn into a werewolf and jump for joy.
tl;dr: dadbastian is actually so insanely viable, but not in the way you'd think. sebastian in undoubtedly changing, but this isn't an accident or a product of him learning to love or care in any capacity. he is perpetrating the illusion of change, of personal growth in a creature that cannot posses a real identity, thereby humanizing himself in ciel's eyes to keep his food from slipping out of his grasp and it's working so unbelievably well that he's managed to fool a good number of kuro's readers too.
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hoshifighting · 5 months ago
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Hello! I love your work 🥹 I hope you are well
Just wanna ask your thoughts on how the seventeen members would react to see you driving speed / you being fast on connected apps like ‘Find My’ heheheeheh
Thank you ❤️
a/n: thank u sweetie, i loved it!! im doing well!! <33 i hope i understood well.. like a gearhead girlfriend?... made w/ luv ❤️
WARNINGS: mentions of breakig the speed limit
seungcheol: “yo yo yo, slow the fuck down, we ain’t tryna die today!!” he’s literally shouting through the app, and you could almost see him gripping the imaginary 'oh shit' handle in the backseat. he loves you, but he’s lowkey shitting bricks rn, “bruh, this ain't fast & furious... i swear if we crash, it’s on you.”
jeonghan: sigh “baby, why you gotta be like this?” he’s too cool to actually panic, but you can feel him judging the fuck outta you. he’ll make you feel like the most irresponsible person alive while also making it clear he’s kinda impressed. “next time, let me drive so we don’t both end up with speeding tickets… but like… you kinda look hot doing it though, not gonna lie.” he’s smirking on the other side of the screen.
joshua: “ok but like… are we trying to break a record or what?” he’s nervous but trying to stay calm, but you can tell he’s clutching his pearls behind that smooth tone. “maybe, uh, we could slow down just a tiny bit? just a suggestion...” definitely trying not to freak out completely, but he’s one bad swerve from straight-up praying.
jun’s all for it, honestly. he’s got his phone up to show the speedometer on his end, clearly thriving. “you wanna hit 120? bet, i’m down, let’s fucking go!” jun’s just living it, probably snapping selfies like it’s no big deal while the car’s shaking at 90 mph.
hoshi: “wait—WAIT! y/n, no no NO, what the hell?? slow down before i shit my pants.” he close his eyes, dramatic as fuck, genuinely convinced y’all are about to fly off the highway. nearly crying as he clutches his phone. “i got shit to do tomorrow!! i can’t die today, not like this!”
wonwoo’s just... chillin’. he doesn’t really say much at first. just sends a simple, “you good?” text. he’s the only one calm in this whole situation. when you don’t respond right away, he hits you with, “bet you won’t keep up with the guy in the ferrari tho...” and you’re like, oh shit. he’s egging you on. he's vibing with the chaos, but lowkey wants to see how far you'll take it.
woozi: “y/n, you better chill the fuck out.” straight-up scolding you. no fluff, just pure frustration. jihoon’s too rational for this speed demon shit, and he’s already calculating how much the damn fine’s gonna be if you get caught. “if you crash, you better hope i’m not in the car, ‘cause i ain’t helping your ass.” classic jihoon—pissed, but still kinda impressed at your audacity.
seokmin: “YO, SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!” pure panic in his voice,like he’s watching a horror movie. “do you wanna give me a heart attack? holy shit!!” he’s basically pleading with you at this point, full-on hands shaking, worried sick like a damn mother hen. “i’m way too pretty to die like this, please, for the love of god, just slow down.”
mingyu: WELL THIS MAN HAVE LICENSE FOR IT, no fear at all. “you drive like a fucking beast, lemme hop in the car next time.” he’s fully living for the thrill, no reservations whatsoever. he’s gassing you up like no one would. adrenaline junkie.
minghao’s already over it. deadpan as fuck. “why you gotta stress me like this? i’m way too zen for this shit.”
seungkwan: “OKAY STOP! STOP! i didn’t sign up for this kinda trauma. you tryna die young, huh?!” yelling in the app for you to pull over before he passes out from sheer anxiety. “i’m never getting in a car with you ever again, swear on my life.”
vernon: “i mean, if we crash, we crash. kinda sick though, right?” no panic, no complaints, just lowkey impressed. “but like… how fast can you actually go?”
chan: “y/n, this isn’t a fucking video game!” poor baby is stressed out, clenching his fists like his life’s on the line. “i can’t do this. my heart can’t handle this. you tryna give me a heart attack?!” genuinely scared shitless. “you really gotta slow down before i fucking pass out in the toilet bro”
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karlachismylife · 7 months ago
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Yeah, but what if you're a character in a game they like to play? A pre-existing townie in a life simulator that helps them reconnect with normal life outside deployment? The one they somehow always tend to romance in every savefile, courting you through the clumsy mechanics?
Soap would absolutely spam interactions, interrupting any of the tasks you are trying to do. What do you mean your relatonship progress starts going down after he chose "tell a flirty joke" twenty times in a row? Why are you falling out of the conversation and going to water your plants or play on the computer? Does he have to delete it out of the game for you to stop getting distracted? Hmph. If you were a real person, you would be already swooning at his jokes, that he knows for sure. C'mon, bonnie, don't leave the lot for work! If you accept his proposition to move in, you'll never need to work a day in your pixel life! He also has a fuckton of savefiles, because he wants to try every single thing the game has to offer, but turns out mastering all 158 skills and 73 careers isn't that easy in one go. He still goes after you in each and every savefile. What can he say? You're just the prettiest of them all.
Gaz has the strategy nailed down. He knows your pre-set preferences and makes sure his character caters to them (good thing you seem to be generally into him, all he needs to do is add your favourite colour to his outfit, and it suits hm too!), he can calculate the shortest route to have a romantic meter above your head in one conversation. Juggling the interactions with ease, never making the mistake to bore or upset you. He knows you'll have the best family tree in that game, and he'll make it happen. Also has quite a few savefiles, but only because he enjoys the storytelling aspect and always prepares some elaborate plot, filled with drama. Takes inspiration from the hundreds of episodes of different TV shows he manages to watch, also plays with mods to add as much flavour to the game as possible.
Price tries to court you like he would a real person. Inviting your character out, putting a lot of thought into which conversation theme choose out of what game offers, bringing you gifts. Unfortunately for him, the game isn't registering his actions as actually trying to woo you... so he just takes the gloves off and fucking cheats your relationship status. His in-game self needs a pretty partner to look after the pack of three dogs, named Ghost, Gaz and Soap respectively. He's not above cheating your babies (whether your character carries them or it's the science baby option) to be triplets. Only starts new savefiles when you both grow old and pass away in the previous one, maybe because he can't bring himself to live out your kids' lives (they should be their own little virtual people and decide for themselves), or maybe because he doesn't understand that he actually can keep playing even if his character's dead.
Ghost starts with adding himself to your family and setting your relationship status as spouses. Oh, you have some in-game pathetic weird looking prick as your pre-set partner/husband? Too bad, evicted, deleted from the game, forgotten. If he is in the mood, he won't straight up delete that poor bloke, but will set up a pool with no ladder and drown him in it or lock him in a separate room to starve. Nothing you should see, though, you'll be plenty busy drowning yourself, not in a pool, but in his affection. Doesn't spam interactions, but really enjoys just watching you go about your day and making it so that his character takes care of your needs - if you start to get hungry, he's already slamming the "call to meal" button on the giant ribs plate his in-game self just roasted. Probably has one savefile where he keeps cheating any death back.
Or are you a cute tamagochi pocket friend/pet they enjoy taking care of, because having a real pet is impossible with their lifestyle? An NPC with an everyday quest of collecting produce in a chill farm simulator? A weekly boss they lose fight to as much times as they can afford to, just to see your opening cutscene replay over and over? A companion whose personal quest they have memorized line by line, but never skip dialogue to hear your voice and look at every expression you make?
Whoever you are, what if one day something in your code changes and you suddenly start recognizing them?
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giuliettagaltieri · 1 year ago
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Cry of Outrage
Pairing: President!Coriolanus Snow x First Lady!Reader
Chapter Synopsis: The Saviour
Warning: elitism, vulnerability, violence, injury, blood
Word Count: 2748
5 of 6
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Y/N Swansworth-Snow.
The first thing that Coriolanus did when he became President was to give you his last name.  You, his ally, his accomplice, and now, his First Lady.
The entirety of Panem celebrated with you.  No, not just the Capitol.  All the other Districts fell in love with the two of you.  Having been blinded by your tour that was so successful, it ruined any doubts they had for the new President.
And to make it even better, the ruse between you and Coriolanus gave way for true affections to blossom.
But having the love of the said President does not mean that your marriage will be anything similar to a typical couple.  You are the leaders of Panem after all.
Most of your day is taken up by meeting other politicians and studying bills to further strengthen the Capitol and subdue thoughts of rebellions from the Districts.
Your evenings are also spent attending the invitations of your supporters.
“Heavens!  The party is in five hours and I have absolutely nothing to wear.”  You groan in your seat as Coriolanus chuckles as he taps at the steering wheel.
This was one thing that he requested for the both of you.  No chauffeurs.  Not that your security is at risk when you are sandwiched between two cars loaded with the presidential guards.
The two of you had been spending your luncheon with the Plinths.  Had it not been for your assistants reminding you of a party this evening, you would have forgotten.
“You should wear that gold dress I bought you last month.”  He hums.
“The one with actual gold in it?”  You frown.  “We are only meeting the District 1 representatives, is it necessary to wear such a pretty gown?”
You stop at the red traffic light and Coriolanus turns to you, his knuckle brushing your cheek.  “You’re not wearing it for them, my love.”  His voice is calm but there was something about him that made you feel like he was scolding you.  Of course, you try your best to keep a straight face but the way you fiddled with your seatbelt did not go unnoticed by him.  “You will be wearing it for me.  Always for me.  Understand?”
You nod at him.
“Words.”
“Yes, Corio.  I understand.”
Ever since you got married, you have somewhat changed.  You are still the same calculating Y/N Swansworth, but you are more docile, easily flustered, almost shy.
“Mmh, there’s a good girl.”
His thumb caresses your cheek before focusing back on the road.
Coriolanus Snow takes pleasure in his discovery of this attitude from you.  How you are the commanding First Lady in the public, and a sweet little wife to him when he has you all to himself.  You did not grow out of that crush you had for him, it seems.  You got better at hiding it while he was away, but in the end, you were still his, body and soul.
As you get ready in your vanity that night, your eyes scan the files of the guests that will be attending the party as you add the pigeon blood ruby earrings in your ears.
“Darling, my tie, have you seen it?”  Coriolanus calls as he comes out of your shared closet.  His dark red suit compliments your golden gown. 
“In here.”  You reply as you hurriedly put on the other pair of earrings.
You walk over to him to fix his golden tie for him.
He checks his appearance and his hand snakes to the small of your back.  “You look ravishing.”  He pecks your exposed shoulder.  He knows better than to ruin your lipstick.  He will never hear the end of it.
“You are looking pretty sharp, yourself.”  You say as you look at him proudly.  This fine gentleman, one ever so sought after, once the prime bachelor of Panem, is your husband.
Not everybody understands that.
And it infuriates you to no end.  But jealousy can come later, in the present, you must focus on your task at hand.
As you enter the party together, you both agree on a strategy, to part ways and conquer them one by one.
“My brother is likely the one who will follow my father’s footsteps.”  Says the official from District 1.  His suit is a fine one, the best quality.  But the clothing’s value can easily be overlooked by how the wearer parades in it.  “He was always the favorite.”
You look at him in well-practiced sympathy.  “I am terribly sorry.  Here, have a glass of water.”  You snatch one from the passing server to hand it to him.  He has had enough alcohol for tonight.
He gulps it quickly and he nastily wipes his mouth with the sleeve of his beige suit, ruining it with a wet stain, you try to conceal your disgust.
“Phah!”  He spits.  “As if my brother is any good.  He is always at his shooting range with his buddies.  Always buying guns and losing them!”  The man continues to ramble and you sip quietly from your flute.  “I am really grateful that you are keeping me company tonight, Madame First Lady.”  He suddenly grabs at your wrist, his thumb caressing your skin.  Apparently, not grateful enough to observe boundaries.
You smile kindly as you place your other hand atop his.  “No worries, it is my pleasure to be of some service to the people of Panem.”  You gently remove his hand from yours.
He groans, throwing his head back.  “You are a goddess, Madame First Lady.”
“And you are drunk, Mister Sterling.”  You comment as you sip on your champagne once more, eyes scanning the party for whom you shall extract information next.  But your eyes met his.
Coriolanus had his eyes on you the entire time.  He was in a small group of men, all who were talking animatedly.  Coriolanus throws in his inputs in the conversation but his eyes never stray away from you.  He does not look too pleased.
You struggle to look away from him, and you discreetly attempt to swallow the lump in your throat.
“My apologies, you will have to excuse me.”  You smile at Sterling and before he can respond, you are already on your feet, gliding smoothly away in utmost elegance, definitely not scurrying.
You make it to the powder room, nobody suspects you of running away when you look as if you own the place.  But Coriolanus knows better.  He also excuses himself from the other men and follows quickly after you.
He smiles at the people he passes but he is determined to get to where you would be right now.
And there you were, twirling in front of the tall mirror of the bathroom.  It appears like the First Lady of Panem is checking herself out.  Coriolanus leans by the door to enjoy the show, a sly little smirk on his lips.
You slide down your hands on your waist and you turn to observe the curve of your behind and nod.  You then get closer to see your make up in a closer angle, watching for anything that is not in place.
“I was going to wait for you to finish but I cannot keep myself away for much longer.”  His smooth voice echoes around the empty powder room.
The look of surprise on your face brought strange satisfaction to him.
Coriolanus stands behind you and looks at you in the mirror.  His eyes shamelessly roam over your body, and by God! The dress really does suit you.
“You should let me choose your dresses more often.”  He spoke silently and you chuckled at that.
“Do you find me pretty, wearing your gifts, Mister President?”  You tease as you fix your hair.
Nodding, Coriolanus hooks an arm around your midriff to pull you flush against him.  “Prettiest.”  He groans against your nape, his hot breath sending you to a fit of giggles.  “And you’re not leaving my side for the rest of the night, you understand?”
You lean against his sturdy chest and nod like the obedient girl that you are.  “I have a lot of bad news for you, Corio.”
His brows pinched but he didn't let it disturb him from tasting your skin.  Leaving a hot wet trail in his wake.
“Rebels?”  He asks breathily.
Your breath hitches when he gently nips on your ear.  “Might be.  I’m suspecting smuggling of firearms.  I will have my men investigate it first thing tomorrow.”
He hums in approval.  “What would I do without you, wife?”
Your ego is stroked with his words and you can’t help the smile on your lips.  “You would be helpless without me.”
It is a dangerous thing to say to a man like Coriolanus Snow.  Provoking him and threatening his status with words will not end well.  Unless it is you.
“I would crumble, wife.”  He groans to your skin and pulls you closer.  “I would be reduced to nothing.”
When Coriolanus speaks like this, he just manages to sink himself deeper into your heart.
“Good.”  You smile.  “Because I desire you just as fiercely.”  You place a hand on his bicep and you rest your head on his shoulder to press a kiss on his neck.  “You have a speech to make.” 
Coriolanus sighs.  “Just a bit longer.”
You indulge him, tracing patterns on his cheek as he inhales your scent.
Had it not been for a knock on the door, Coriolanus would have held you there forever.
He takes your hand and guides you on stage with him, his darling wife.
The music fades to a gentle melody and the crowd hushes to listen to the speech the President is about to make.
“Our gathering today is not just an event, it is a celebration of collaboration, shared goals, and the strength that comes from unity.”  Coriolanus starts and you position yourself behind him with the kindest smile you can muster.  “I am deeply honored to stand before a group of individuals who bring diverse perspectives, talents, and experiences.” 
A man shakes his head in the corner and you watch him closely.  He seems agitated, his movement jerking as he scratches at his neck, making the skin raw.  He does not look familiar.  He is not in the files you had.
“Your presence here is a testament to the power of coming together, the power of dialogue, and the power of collective effort.”  You step closer to Coriolanus when the man leaves his chair.  The peacekeepers slowly march closer to the man who glares hard at your husband.  “In this room, we have a wealth of knowledge, creativity, and passion that, when harnessed, can propel us to achieve great things.”  A glint from the man’s coat has you tugging Coriolnus behind you by his suit.
A resounding bang fills the air and your body freezes.
It’s wet, you feel the wetness seep your dress and you look down to see a spreading stain of crimson in your side.
Oh…the bullet did not hit Coriolanus.  That’s good.
Screaming rings in the air and it is getting more and more difficult for you to stand.  You feel Coriolanus’ warm hands around you, but your eyes return to the shooter.  Has he been apprehended?  Is your husband still in danger?
“Corio…”  You whimper.  “It’s not safe for you.”
He grits his teeth as he pulls at his tie to wrap it in his fist to press into your wound.  The pressure had you whimpering, clawing unto his sleeve.
“I’m sorry.”  He whispered against your temple.  “You’re gonna be alright.”
You try to laugh but it comes out as a wheeze.  “Of course, I would.”
You are in the arms of the most powerful man in Panem.  No place else is safer.
The noise slowly gets muffled, something akin to your head descending underwater.  The lights blur and the colors mix together.  You blink multiple times just so your husband would come to focus, but your eyelids get heavier and heavier.
He was the last thing you saw before your eyes closed.
“Your daughter seems to have taken a fancy to my son.”
A loud boisterous laughter echoes.  “Nothing but a harmless fascination.”
“The two of them would make a good couple, don’t you agree?”
“That is if they don’t destroy each other first.”
Coriolanus wakes from his slumber in cold sweat.  He runs a hand on his platinum hair, feeling its dampness.  His chest heaves, breathing labored.
What a nightmare to have at a time like this.  His pale eyes search the darkness and he spots you in your marital bed.  He leaves the chaise lounge to walk over to you.  You have been asleep for a day now, recovering after the bullet misses anything fatal.  The events last night shocked him to his core.  He had never been more afraid.  Not even when he saw the dead being hacked to pieces in the dark days.  Or when the arena was bombed when he first mentored, and definitely not when Lucy Gray set off a snake to him.
When he saw you bleed.  It unraveled all there was in him.  His gut twisting, his mind in shambles.  He was angry and afraid.  And the self-loathing that came afterwards was almost unbearable.  That bullet was for him to take, not you.
Coriolanus watches the steady rise and fall of your chest.  It brings him peace to see you still breathing.  Gently, he lies next to you but he was afraid he’d hurt you so he scoots lower until he faces your bandaged abdomen.  He lies curled by your side and he reaches for your hand.
It’s warm, you are with him.�� His lips press on your pulse, you are with him.
A lone tear slides to his temple and the sheets greedily soak it in.  It was one of many that he shed for you while you were asleep.
A deep shuddering breath has him sitting up.  Coriolanus observes your face closely. 
“Corio?”
“I’m here, my love.”  He rushes to you and he smiles painfully when you open your eyes.
“Are you hurt?”  You ask worriedly and he almost laughs had his heart not been teared open.
He shakes his head.  “No, you saved me.”  He presses a kiss to your temple.  “You took a bullet for me.”
You grimace.  “How’d he get that gun inside, anyway?”
Coriolanus pursed his lips.  “It was planted in the area prior to the event.”
“Did you find out who he is?”
He nods at you and he pulls you closer.  “From a fallen house here in the Capitol and a servant to the Cranes.  He has more morphine than blood in his veins.  He is being detained now, he will be executed in two days.”
You nod at him.  It all falls into place now.  
Hesitantly, you ask.  “Him and Arachne?”
Coriolanus sighs.  “Or just him.”  Arachne was a true narcissist, she would have never associated with a nobody in such ways.
It is surprising how even after all these years, the ghost of the past can still haunt you.  The visit from the District 1 officials must have triggered such an act.
Love really is the sweetest poison.
“No matter.”  Coriolanus dismisses the topic.  “I refuse to spend another second thinking about a man who dared to hurt my wife.”
You smile as you close your eyes trying to get comfortable in his arms.
“I guess you owe me your life now.  I would expect more pampering as payment.”  You hum and he scoffs.
You ignore the fact that this makes you even after he saved you in District 4.  You will use every opportunity to exploit your dear husband.
“That is what you are concerned with?  You were just shot, wife.”  He spoke unimpressed but you squeezed his hand.
“I’ll get a nasty scar but I’ll live.  His aim was really bad.”
“I most definitely agree.”  Coriolanus nods a small grin in his lips.  “That worked in our favor though.”
It frightened Coriolanus.  The limit to your self sacrifice for him seems to be nonexistent.  He humbles himself and prays to the gods that this will not cause your end. 
You did not question when he pulls you closer.  His behavior is desperate as he burns the feel of your body against him in his head.
You spend the rest of the night talking to him until your eyes turn heavy, your breath syncing together peacefully.
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Hunt for Glory
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omensandwonders · 5 months ago
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filthy thoughts about the eepy boys
im in a whole other universe of down horrendous after FINALLY seeing the boys live (well, II and Ves (im crying)) so... this is my outlet. youre welcome and/ or im sorry
warnings: pure filth
vessel:
♤ a munch and a yapper, idc
♤ only time this man shuts up is when his head's buried between your legs and even that's loud, with the way he's groaning into your cunt
♤ eats like he will never see another woman again after this, hands grabbing everywhere he can reach - thighs, ass, stomach, waist.
♤ often uses both tongue and fingers, either fucking his fingers into you while sucking your clit or rubbing tight circles on your clit with his thumb while he's tongue fucking you
♤ mans is hung (we all know it) so he will absolutely make you cum at least three times with his fingers and tongue before giving you his dick
♤ when he does, he's so vocal, groans and whines leaving his throat completely unrestrained
♤ forgets how strong he is, often leaving your thighs, hips and waist bruised
♤ STAMINA.
♤ youre not done until hes done
♤ filthy mouth on that one i tell you
♤ now i also see vessel being more dominant and calculating, but... more on that later if yall want that (👀?)
♤ all im sayin... i think hes the most dominant of all of them... his hand + your throat =mmdjxjisjs (also *cough* spit kink *cough*)
"o-oh my god, darlin', squeezin' me so good- j-just like that, such a good girl for me, takin' it so well-"
"so tight, feels soo good my love, j-just one more for me-"
II:
♤ suddenly my ass is a drum
♤ would it be too on the nose to say he's an ass man who loveeees spanking? actually this is my post so IDC IM SAYIN IT
♤ ass man who loves spanking
♤ impact play in general i dare say
♤ mean slaps whenever you least expect them, wherever you least expect them - face, pussy, ass - he loves your reaction
♤ but can you blame him? you look so pretty looking up at him with those hazy, tear-filled eyes
♤ now vessel gets mean and rough just cause he's desperate. II gets mean and rough because he wants to wreck you. very different motivations there (though im a firm believer that ves has his mean streaks too)
♤ you've been misbehaving? have fun riding him with your hands tied and his hand around your throat. doesnt matter how bad your thighs hurt, he's not helping. also, youre not cumming
♤ loves fucking you face down ass up, with a hand on the back of your head or back of your neck to keep you pinned down
♤ edging ‼️ overstim ‼️ pain ‼️ degradation ‼️ thank you for coming to my ted talk
"you've been nothing but a slut all fuckin' day, throwin' yourself at Ive like that, and you think i'll let you cum? nah, fuck that. you got about another half an hour in you before that, if at all"
"such a pretty lil' bitch for me, crying on my dick like that. you like it when i hurt you? like it when i slap this fuckin pussy?"
"so dramatic, that was only your fourth orgasm. you got at least three more in you"
III:
♤ say it with me now, MESSY
♤ i think III is similar to ves' desperate side, but... more
♤ more desperate, more subby, more whiny, more drooly
♤ will beg. god knows for what but sure it's hot so why the hell would you stop him
♤ sometimes he gets so lost in it his thrusts get uncoordinated
♤ so sloppy, rutting into you like a dog in heat
♤ i could imagine a threesome between you, III and ves... where ves is the one in charge
♤ sitting on a chair next to the bed, running his mouth while III basically sobs while pumping into you
♤ god, he cums so much
♤ absolute loads
♤ idk if this is a hot take or not but possibly the subbiest of the boys?? though i still dont see him as a FULL on sub, maybe a switch? idek i feel like he could go either way
"oooh my fuckin' god doll, so good to me, so fuckin' good- feels so good- 'm gonna cum, cum inside that sweet pussy-"
"love you so much just- just lemme please- just the tip baby-"
"if you don't suck my dick right now i'm gonna lose my mind-"
IV:
♤ also one i see as being dominant
♤ such. a fucking. tease. lord help us all.
♤ learns how to play your body like a fuckin instrument within days, gets you sobbing and pleading within minutes
♤ after what feels like hours of teasing you - toying with and biting your nipples, leaving hickeys all over, touching everywhere but where you need him most - he finally gives in and fingers you and you swear to god you see stars
♤ we all know this man can use his fingers, the way he plays guitar. to him, your body is the most beautiful instrument and he'll be fuckin damned if he can't master it
♤ when he fucks you, he's so rough, all filthy words in your ear as his thick dick drags against your walls
♤ sigh, a biter
♤ leaves bite marks all over you
♤ not satisfied until youre sobbing and trembling beneath him, globs of his cum leaking out of your abused cunt (wrap it before you tap it)
♤ god help you when he discovers remote controlled vibrators
"so drunk on my dick, aren't ya love? that's okay. i'm takin' care or you, don't need to think anymore, just keep those legs nice and open for me"
"can't remember your own name, can ya, love? that's okay, only gotta know mine"
"good fuckin' girl, always so wet and ready for me..."
did i mention that i think they all share a HEAVY breeding kink? no? oops
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