#he already comes out of that encounter with a whole bunch of complexes

[waitineedaname]

I think you can't forcefem bingqiu because there'd be no forcing involved, it would just happen. They already both think of themselves as the wife, I think it would just take a bit of sqq's mental gymnastics to come to the terms with both of them being women. Bingge, however,

[lenacosse]

HEEYYY, thankyou so much i saw ur post. so basically reader and twins work together on occasion and she gets on really well w them and is basically another version of tan but when tan and reader get a long they are like partners in crime but on this mission they need an extra person so this new girl is constantly flirting with tan the whole misiion and reader is like really jealous and lemon his just having a wonderful time observing this play out and laughing his arse off asking reader if shes alright and stuff. tan is just completely oblivious and finds the new girl kind of annoying. Hope you can write this :))

stake out

(im so glad you saw the post! i hope this is okay, it didn’t really pan out as I thought it would but you can be the judge of that)

pairing: tangerine x reader (sort of)

cw: strong language and violence

word count: 3,991

————————————————————————

You phone rang, Tangerine and Lemon were outside waiting for you. Dragging your suitcase with you, you locked your house and made your way to the car. You took a minute to admire the car, Tangerine had a thing for sport cars. Usually you didn’t care much for them but you had to admit this one was nice. Lemon got out and put your suitcase into the boot.

“Thank you Lemon, what a gentleman you are.” You smile and get into the car. “Nice car.”

“All my cars are nice.” Tangerine replies. “I forgot to tell you, we needed a fourth member for this task. So we’re on our way to pick up Stacey.”

“Stacey? Who the fuck is Stacey,” you queried.

“Our fourth member,” remarked Tangerine . In his usual flat tone.

“I had no idea.” You roll your eyes and settle into your seat.

The car pulled up to Stacey’s place, it was a fancy apartment complex Tangerine blared the horn practically making you jump out of your seat. A few minutes later you see a gorgeous blonde woman walk out of the apartment complex with a bunch of luggage, you watch her walk towards the car, her hips swaying as she walked. You and Lemon shared a glance through the mirror and once again he got out of the car, putting her luggage into the boot.

The car door opens and you’re hit with an overwhelmingly sweet perfume, you clear your throat and look over at her. She looks you up and down then gasps when she sees Tangerine.

“Oh my goddess!” Her shrill voice squeaks.

“What?” Tangerine turns around to look at her, you sit there flicking your eyes back and fourth between them watching the painful encounter.

“Oh nothing,” she winks. You involuntarily pulled a face of absolutely disgust, you didn’t have to look at Tangerine to know how unimpressed he was by this.

Lemon gets back into the car and Tangerine starts talking about the mission, telling everyone his tactics and game plan. Stacey nods along to everything he says whilst twirling her hair in her fingers, you watch her absolutely baffled at the idea of her being in this career field. How the fuck was she supposed to kill someone?

“You didn’t introduce us.” Lemon says to Tangerine.

Tangerine sighs. “You do it then, fuck sake,”

Lemon turns to Stacey and you in the backseat. “Im Lemon, this is Tangerine you already know that and this is (Y/N).”

“Cute name.” Stacey smiles.

“Thank you! It’s-” she cuts you off.

“I wasn’t talking to you.”

“…right.” You scoff and look out the window, for the entirety of the journey you listen to her flirting with Tangerine. However you can’t tell if he’s not picking up on it or it’s just that he doesn’t care, regardless it was doing your head in and taking everything in you not to stick a knife in her neck.

You arrive at the hotel and check in, you are almost taken back by how fancy it was, you felt extremely out of place in your clothes. So you made Lemon come with you to buy fancier clothes.

“How did you forget to tell me to bring pristine shit?” You laugh whilst looking through a rack of dresses for your size.

“I told Tangerine to sort everything.” Lemon shows you a dress, you screw your face up at it.

“Wayyyy too many ruffles fucking hell.” You find the dress in your size and put it into your basket. “He didn’t forget to tell Stacey did he?” You scoff.

Lemon squints his eyes at you. “Are you jealous?”

“Jealous?! Me? Jealous?! What?! Absolutely not! Fuck me youre on something.” For the rest of the shopping trip you go on about how there’s absolutely no way you’re jealous and that Lemon is crazy. He thinks it’s the funniest thing ever, you however are not so pleased.

———————————————————————

“Hey (Y/N)? Is Tan single?” Stacey asks batting her eyelashes at you. You two were in your shared hotel room, Tangerine and Lemon were staying in the room next to you.

“Why?” You question. For some reason your stomach drops as she asks. Especially now that she was saying the nickname you always call him. But no. You weren’t jealous, absolutely not.

“Can you not see the chemistry we have? I mean god I’m already picking out our children’s names. I’m thinking Beatrice for a girl and Christopher for a boy.”

You give her a strange look. “Tangerine would not like those names.”

She walks up to you, hand on her hip and tries to assert the power in the situation, you cross your arms and look at her.

“You are a real bitch. You’re just jealous of me and Tangerine. I’m telling you by the end of this mission he’ll want me.”

“I don’t care at all.” You scoff and grab your clothes. You get changed into your new dress, it’s a classic black dress that compliments your figure perfectly.

You, Tangerine, Lemon and Stacey head down to dinner and sign in with your fake names. You sit opposite Tangerine and next to Lemon.

“I was thinking we need to solidify our cover stories,” you say taking a sip of your drink.

“What were you thinking?” Tangerine asks, one thing you appreciated about him was the way he didn’t diminish your intelligence like most men did who work this job. They find it wild that a woman could be smart enough to pull off an elaborated plan, but that was ballsy considering you thought you were pretty good.

“We’re here celebrating an engagement between two of us-“

“Me and Tangerines engagement!” Stacey cuts you off. You pinch the bridge of your nose and Lemon starts laughing beside you, you kick his ankle under the table and Stacey looks confused. “What?”

“Yeah. What? You two are children and if you don’t stop you’ll get us sussed out.” Tangerine tuts as he finishes off his drink.

“(Y/N) is just being-“ Lemon starts.

You elbow him so hard in the ribs that he flinches. “Shut the fuck up.” The food comes and you guys start eating, as you’re eating you notice a group of men bunch together and head towards the kitchen. Luckily your seat gives you a clear view of them and you watch them walk into the kitchen.

“Tangerine. Play along with this.” You say, he agrees, you pull a hair from your head and set it on your plate then and you stand up acting disgusted. “Filthy! Absolutely disgusting.”

Soon a waitress comes over, worried at your behaviour. “Im sorry is everything okay over here?”

“No everything is not okay. My fiancée has a hair in her food, this is ridiculous.” Tangerine stands up, you can’t help the smug look that falls onto your face watching Stacey look offended. You hear Lemon snickering beside you, you glare intensely at him then you smile sweetly at Stacey and turn to the waitress.

“I want to speak to your chef.” You demand. And so the waitress leads the way, Tangerine walks with you. His hand resting on your lower back. You felt your stomach doing flips as he placed his hand there.

In the kitchen Tangerine talks with the Chef as you scan your eyes around the kitchen looking for where these men could have gone. That’s until you see a man fully suited walk out of the stock room. Tangerine and you walk out of the kitchen after clearing everything up.

“Fiancée huh?” You tease.

“Improvisation,” Tan replies, a smirk apparent on his face.

“Stacey won’t be happy.” You playfully tut.

“What do you mean?” Tangerine furrows his brows.

You laugh until you realise he’s being serious. “My god you’re blind.”

You reach your table as you said that. “No tell me what do you mean?” He asks.

“Tell you what?” Stacey interferes.

“None of your business Tracey.” You suck your teeth.

“My name is-“

“Jesus christ! No one cares.” You snare.

Lemon can’t hide his laugh and you turn to him, shaking your head. “Seriously what is up with you today?” You ask.

“I think you have to ask yourself that question (Y/N).” Lemon replies

“You know what I think? I think you’re all being fucking weird today.” Tangerine grumbled.

You all finish your food. However you feel your stomach churning as Stacey starts sliding her hand up Tangerines arm, she whispers something in his ear and he doesn’t seem fazed by it at all. You didn’t realise you were gripping your glass until it shatters in your hand.

“Fuck.” You gasp, you look at your hand. You had glass shards stuck in your hand as the blood dripped onto the white table cloth.

“Tan you and Stacey sort the bill, we’ll go sort (Y/N)’s hand.” Lemon suggests. You all agree and you follow Lemon back to his and Tangerines room.

Upon walking in your hit with the familiar scent of Tangerines cologne, a scent you found yourself drawn to. You didn’t quite understand why, but anytime you smelt something similar your heart would skip a beat. But you didn’t care about him like that.

“What is up with you?” Lemon asks as he removes the glass from your palm, you hiss in pain.

“Nothing.” You grunt.

“Im not stupid. I’ve know you for three years now and never have I ever seen you so jealous.”

“Im not jealous!” You practically shout, the pain from your hand didn’t help the matter. This time Lemon didn’t laugh, he just sighed as he cleaned your hand.

“You know if you have feelings for Tangerine that’s okay. I don’t know why you’re so reluctant to admit that.”

“Okay maybe I find him attractive but I don’t have feelings.” You mumble.

“There we go one step closer to the truth. If we’re speaking truth I’ll admit these next few days are going to be the most entertaining days ever. I can’t wait.”

“Oh yeah this is so entertaining.” You scoff, “you’ve no idea how fucking annoying she is, and to make things worse I share room with her.”

“I do know because Tangerine was pissed off earlier because she wouldn’t shut up the entire car ride.”

You find yourself smiling once Lemon said that, you felt a little bit more relaxed. Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad. Lemon finishes fixing your hand, he stitched it and bandaged it up. He told you he was used to doing this, especially considering Tangerine is usually always fighting with someone. That was the polar difference between the two men, Lemon was calm but Tangerine was not, once that man gets pissed off he just goes off on a rampage. You’ve witnessed this multiple times, however it didn’t scare you. You secretly found it hot. But that fact you would carry to your grave.

Soon after Tangerine and Stacey come back and you guys sit to come up with a game plan for the next day. You agreed to spilt into pairs of two, you and Tangerine, Lemon and Stacey. Poor Lemon was all you could think. Anyways, you all would go to breakfast, but you would leave the table to go to the bathroom. But really you’d try get into the Casino area. If you got in successfully you were to look for whatever you could find that would identify the men you needed to assassinate. You’ll then come back, after breakfast Tangerine and Lemon would go inquire about said Casino, Lemon said there was a code name for the Casino and that was how you’d get in. And at dinner time Stacey and Lemon would go there, play a game of poker or whatever. Whilst you and Tangerine get dinner. Then once Lemon and Stacey had identified the men you would go in and kill them. Then on the third day you guys can use the spa.

———————————————————————

You get up from the breakfast table and head towards the bathroom. Since the restaurant at the hotel is a separate part there’s bathrooms there for customers. And thankfully they were opposite the kitchen, you walk up the hall and slowly open the kitchen door. You peep your head in to see only one man in there who’s back is to the door, you take your time sneaking in and walk into the stock room. At first you think you’re wrong until you look around and realise the back wall is fake, you find the hatch and walk in. And just as you thought there is the casino, you were actually surprised to see it as a legitimate full blown casino. Using the flash of your phone you look around. Quickly you come across what you assume to be guest book, it had ten names of it, three of which matched up to the names you were given by the man who hired you. He had said there were eight members to assassin and three members whose identities he knew. You take a picture and sneak back out again.

You sit at the table with a smug smirk on your face. “Well ask me how it went!”

“How did it go, love?” Tangerine chuckled. Your cheeks flushed as he said that, it wasn’t a new thing to hear. Tangerine called all women love, but for some reason it had you internally screaming.

“Amazing. I found a guestbook with ten names on it.”

“It’s not like you had much to do.” Stacey scoffed. “Tangerine here..” she squeezes his arm “found the room in the first place.”

“No, (Y/N) did. It was her that got us into the kitchen and it was her that spotted the room.”

Stacey let go of his arm and finished her food silently. You glare at her with a smug look on your face and crossed your arms. She looked pissed off, but you weren’t bothered or intimidated in the slightest. And of course Lemon was laughing into his hands.

After breakfast the four of you go to you and Stacey’s hotel room. That was after Tangerine and Lemon had gotten access cards to the Casino, everything was going smoothly. You and Tangerine were debating whether or not killing these men would be hard, you said it wouldn’t, Tangerine said it would considering we’re massively outnumbered. It was all lighthearted until Stacey buts in.

“It won’t be hard Tan don’t worry darling. I know you’ll protect me.” You hide your hands in your face to control the unbearable second hand embarrassment you just got. You peak over at Lemon through your fingers, hes laughing into his hand and Tangerine just awkwardly laughs to what she has to say. This makes her get confident and sit beside him leaning into him to the point there wasn’t even a slither between them.

You felt your blood boil as you bit your lip. She was seriously getting on your nerves. But there was nothing you could do about it, she was important to the mission and therefore you had no choice but to suck it up. The next few hours until dinner were complete utter hell. Genuinely awful. Stacey seems to be getting worse by the minute, anytime Tan just tolerated her god awful flirting it encouraged her to get more and more into it. You had to leave the room once she playfully punched his arm.

You lean against the wall feeling nothing but pure envy. You weren’t envious that Tangerine didn’t care to flirt back, but you were envious that she had the courage. Admitting you’re jealous in turn made you aware that you did in fact feel something for Tan. It wasn’t simple, and you knew loving someone like him wouldn’t be straightforward. It’s not like he’s the most loving man to walk the planet, so you wouldn’t even be guaranteed commitment, and you also acknowledged that you couldnt watch him leave for work and not worry sick. But that wasn’t the point. The point was you had been too proud and now some brainless fuck is there all over him, all over your Tan.

“Everything okay?” Lemons voice pulls you from your thoughts.

“Yeah, just can’t sit through that. It’s painfully embarrassing.”

Lemon laughs in agreement, he also looked as traumatised as you. You couldn’t understand how Tangerine couldn’t see right through it, it surprised you how such a smart man could be so fucking blind. On that thought the door opens and Tangerine walks out.

“What are you two doing. Planning some fucking dance party?”

“Exactly what we’re doing.” You respond. Tangerine shakes his head.

“Seriously though what are you doing?”

“Talking about your girlfriend.” You respond.

“My girlfriend?” Tangerine pulls a puzzled expression. “I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“Fuck me you’re so stupid.” You put a hand to your forehead. “Do you not see how badly she wants to fuck you?”

“Jealous?” Tangerine raises his brows.

“…no.”

“She’s a proper diesel.” Lemon adds.

“What did I fucking tell you? Hm?” Tangerine sighs, Lemon shrugs in response. “No fucking Thomas talk for fuck sake.” Tangerine throws his arms up in exasperation. You and Lemon share a side glance, someone wasn’t happy.

———————————————————————

You strap you knife to your thigh as you readjust your skirt. You fix your outfit and reapply your lipstick, just as you do that you get a knock on the door. You open the door to see Tangerine, you smile and step aside to let him in. He walks in and sits on the foot of your bed.

“Just let me get my shoes on.” You say, you slip your shoes on and grab your bag.

“You brush up well.” Tangerine teases.

“Can’t say the same for you,” you taunt him as you both walk out the door.

You walk down to dinner together, you arms linked. You couldn’t help but smile the entire way there, it felt stupid to be so into him but at this point there was no denying it you just thanked your lucky stars that you weren’t around Stacey. Poor Lemon you thought, you wondered what they would even be talking out. You two arrive at the restaurant and like a true gentleman Tangerine pulls your chair out for you, you can’t help but laugh and he even cracks a smile.

“Aren’t you a joy.” You tease.

“Only the best for my fiancée.”

“Everything but a ring,” you tut, he rolls his eyes at you and you get halfway through your meal when Lemon sends you the code.

“Come on. Lemon wants us,” you both gather your things and walk towards the kitchen.

Getting in this time is much easier considering Tangerine knows the code, the chef is more than happy to welcome you two to the casino. The smell of cigars and whiskey hit you like a brick, not pleasant at all. You hold onto Tangerines arm and you walk to the Poker table. You sit across from Lemon and Stacey, on your right are two guys and on Tan’s left is another pair of men. You start to play a game and you’re surprised to see Tangerine is good at this, or at least that’s what you thought considering you’d never played poker before and had absolutely no idea what to do. So you let him do it all. Tangerine gives the indication and all four of you stand and go behind a guy. You lean down and whisper into his ear.

“What’s your name?” Your breath cool against the warmth his skin radiates. He tells you his name, and hum contently in response then slice his jugular. Killing him instantly. You wipe the blood that you got onto your hand on his suit jacket. The other three also killed their men, and without drawing attention to anyone else in the room. There were another five guys.

“(Y/N) go to those two, show them your tits or something.” Tangerine says, pointing to the men sitting at the jackpot slots.

“Oh how charming are you.” You scoff and make your way over to the men. You sit in between them and like the creeps they were they seemed not to mind at all. You leaned into the guy on your left, “what’s your name?” Another one on the list, “and yours?” You ask the guy on your right. Again on the list. “Great!” You smile.

You listen to them mansplain the odds of winning and how gambolling was a thrill. You nodded along, batting your eyes at them. That was until you killed them both. You walk to Tangerine, he killed the seventh guy. Only one left on the list, but you had to kill the other man there of course. You hear some struggling and look over your shoulder to see Stacey being choked up against the wall. You sigh and go over there, you floor the man who had her up against the wall. Straddle his chest and slit his throat.

Lemon takes care of the remaining man and you all walk out untouched. You liked jobs like that, easy and non-problematic plus you were getting paid a fuck ton for this. The four of you went back to the men’s room with a celebratory bottle of champagne.

“Wait.. how won’t we get caught?” Stacey asks, you sigh as you’ve explained this four times already. Apparently two glasses of champagne has her incoherent.

“For the fifth and final time. Our names were not on the guest book. Only one man’s name was. Of fucking course he’s going to be blamed for this.” You snap. This made her cry. She tried to get reassurance off of Tangerine but he didn’t even respond to her wails. Ten minutes into her diva meltdown she walks out of the room and into her own. You could cry in relief.

“Thank fuck.” Tangerine remarks. You look at him with an eyebrow raised.

“Thought she wasn’t so bad?”

“Changed my mind, she’s a fucking nightmare.”

“A true diesel.”

“Whatever makes you happy.” You reply to Lemon.

The three of you finish the bottle and spend the next hour talking, mainly ripping into Stacey but not just. Eventually you left their room and went to bed, Stacey was already asleep.

———————————————————————

Tangerines car pulls up outside your place and you get out of the car. This time instead of Lemon helping you with your stuff Tan does. He gets your stuff out of the boot and walks you to your door.

“Thank you Tan.” You smile as you unlock the door.

“I’ll set your stuff inside.” He walks in with you and sets your suitcase on the marble floor.

“So Stacey..?”

“Stacey what?”

“Are you following up with it or?”

“…are you having a fucking laugh?”

You roll your eyes in response, a grin cracking at your lips. “She’s not really your type anyways.”

“Yeah? What’s my type love.” Tan smirks.

“You need someone like yourself, someone who’s not over the top and annoying.”

“Is that so?”

“Mhm.” You look down at the ground as you bite back a smile.

Tangerines hand lifts your chin then all of a sudden he’s grabbing your hips and then his lips are on yours, passionately kissing you. You slide a hand into his hair as you open your mouth, his tongue enters your mouth, fighting your own for dominance. You tug on his hair causing him to bite your lip, you groan as he pulls you closer. The sound of the car horn blaring startles you and you pull back. You let out an airy laugh as his hands release your waist.

“You should go.”

“Yeah, Lemon must be pissed.”

“Alright. Bye Tan.”

“Bye love.”

He walks out the door and you take a moment to stand there and process what just happened. You weren’t sure what this meant for you both but you could only hope it would turn into something, and your hoping came true.

[itsclydebitches]

While it was nice to finally get some more fight scenes in a show about people training to fight things it feels like RT still has no idea how character abilities work or how to compare character strength, the final showdown with the cat is an obvious example with Ruby easily blocking an attack from the cat while Juan, a character who's whole thing is having a ridiculous amount of aura has it completely drained and break from a single hit. Honestly feels like a repeat of the Schnee manor fights.

Ruby's part of the fight was the best we've seen in a while (though frankly I don't think that's much of a contest this Volume, not when all the other fights were akin to tame skirmishes: chess piece grunts, Jabberwalker, Ruby too depressed to fight back) and I really liked the lead-in to her return while going after Crescent Rose... but yeah, the rest was pretty boring imo. And, as you say, suffers from this ongoing problem of abilities/power-scaling. It's bad enough that Jaune is taken out so quickly, but the reason for that is so he can fall from the tree and... encounter smoke? That fixes their possession problem after only being portrayed as a dangerous temptation up until now? The fact that the writers thought it was a good idea to have the Cat scream, "No! These FEELINGS!!" when, cringe aside, that doesn't even make sense - they're arguably the most emotionally complex Afteran! - tells you all you need to know about that fight.

Honestly, some nice choreography/imagery aside, I think the whole fight is fundamentally flawed. Why is the Cat our final villain when Neo herself is right there? Why doesn't the possession result in any cool abilities? (Because the Ruby puppets were just... bad). Why bother with the possession at all when it was immediately solved through a solution with no lead-up? Why, after a Volume of seeing the Cat separate their body into individual pieces - which could be used for cool battle strategy - are they suddenly transforming into this hulking beast? Why did the Volume introduce the Jabberwalker just to immediately kill it off, giving Neo the equivalent of Weiss' summoning ability when she was already CRAZY op this season? Why was our culminating team attack just a bunch of colored blurs that - and this is a nitpick - weren't even the right colors for RWBY? Then there's Ruby herself who, yeah, absolutely looks the best compared to everyone else, but considering this confident, triumphant fight comes about after, not even speed-running a recovery arc, but outright bypassing it, makes the whole thing feel totally unearned. Some cool imagery and a revised "Red Like Roses" can't get me invested if the core reason Ruby is fighting against doesn't hold together.

You can't have Ruby suffer the worst defeat she's ever faced, learn her good friend was murdered for a second time, crumble under the realization that she can't defeat an immortal witch, be ignored by her entire team for two-ish days, lash out at them, actively flinch away from her weapon, get tortured by the villain, drink the tea, learn her mom lied to everyone about her final, presumably deadly mission, and then solve ALL OF THAT by... remembering said mom saying she's perfect back when she was, like, five?

This just in, extreme depression to the point of suicidal intent is solved by recalling a single platitude from your parent, the one who you just learned is a liar who left you and your sister behind for a mission she knew was likely to kill her. Rejoice and bring on the triumphant battle, complete with confident smirk!

[lisafoxromance]

So, I've become deeply obsessed with the Touchstarved demo lately, like one does when something is awesome and fun. For the moment, Leander is my LI of choice, which is kind of unusual for me because I usually go hard for those tsunderes like Mhin, but Leander and his bodacious bosom really caught my eye, and now here we are. Spoilers ahead!

As the most 'normal,' and therefore most suspicious of the bunch, I've seen a lot of discourse on what his monstrous side may be. I love it all, the speculation is creative and wonderful, and so inspiring I've decided to add my little hot takes to the conversation.

I think underneath all that blushing charm, Leander is an asshole. I've seen a lot of thoughts on the choice to not take his hand, but personally, I think he's fucking with the MC the whole time. I don't think he's affected by their curse at all. I think he's purposefully being a jerk for his own amusement. Vere calls him, "a pathetic, slimy little man child in big, shiny shoes," and I think this moment perfectly illustrates Vere's point. When things seem too good to be true, they often are, right?

Along with that, he's a total slut, which is fine, I'm not shaming or anything, it's just a fact, so while his fliration is really sexy, it's also hollow. The man keeps a side room ready at all times for his liaisons, which says to me that he never takes these people back to his own, private quarters. It's easy to conclude that he's intentionally keeping these encounters purely sexual – fun for the moment, but only for that moment. No one gets close. Gotta wonder why. But, "that's the problem with flowers. They don’t last long, but they leave an impression, right?" And Vere once again brings the point home when he wonders if Leander has "already snuck off to get his knob slobbered out back," implying this is something he frequently does.

He's definitely got the jealousy factor going on too, though I don’t know if that's across the board or just strictly for Ais. I'm currently undecided. This could also be where his "throbbing victim complex" comes in, but then again, maybe not.

This is purely my own speculation, but I can see him turning out to be a betrayer character, à la Isabela in DA2. I think no matter how much he may blush, he'll sell the MC out in a hot minute if it's in his best interest to do so – or if he's compromised in some way. We all have our secrets after all. Of course, like Isabela, if he likes the MC enough, I believe he'll regret it and try to make amends, but until it dawns upon him to do so, the MC is going to be shit out of luck and probably in a world of trouble.

Anyway, these are just the thoughts and theories rolling around in my head. Whatever he turns out to be, I'm sure it will be both horrifying and awesome, and I'm here for it. I can't wait for the game to come out. I'm super excited to play it! 💚

[queer-ragnelle]

Writing asks! ✍️ 🖋️ 📖 ❤️ and ⁉️ please and thank you!

✍️ When did you get started writing?

Answered here!

🖋️ What inspired you to write your WIPs?

Every retelling I enjoyed was good, but there would always be at least one thing about it nagging me. Like one character portrayal that was just wretched and soured the whole thing. I wanted to read queer Arthuriana from the perspective of "side" characters, ie, never from Arthur, Merlin, or Lancelot's povs. I wanted to circumvent expectation enough that certain characters could become more three dimensional and complex than their medieval counterparts (like Lamorak and Elaine, for example) while still letting Camelot fall. The series is titled Elegy of an Empire because it is still a tragedy, even if it begins on a high note, I'm writing with the knowledge it will all crumble anyway. It's sort of in the way Hadestown gives the viewers hope that maybe Orpheus won't look back this time. Maybe he and his beloved Eurydice will escape and live happily ever after. But then he looks back. Arthurian Legend is cyclical; it's the perfect place to explore the cycle of violence and the self-fulfilling prophecy of Mordred's, and Camelot's, eventual fate. So even though Agravaine and Laurel raise Mordred to the absolute best of their ability, and even though Ragnelle and Gawain loved Gingalain beyond reason, they all lose their "children" and then each other and the kingdom disintegrates anyway. I'm a sicko who likes "none of it mattered" endings with an obscene amount of foreshadowing. I "told" you it would end badly, why are you crying?

📖 What has surprised you about your WIPs?

I suppose it's a bit late in the game to say the wordcount as I was surprised about that like 4 years ago. But I'd also say I'm surprised my writing has resonated with people. So often writers are coached to cater to "the market" and that "self-indulgent" writing is reserved for people that've already found success. Famous authors can sell their name on any novel regardless of contents; I have to write something that interests as many people as possible. Something generic. Yet I found that the more I sanded off the edges of what I wrote, the less I liked it, and the more mediocre it became. I don't want to cast a wide net. I'd rather have a smaller audience of people who really, really dig it than a bunch of people who skim the whole thing and throw it into the pile for their "I Read 150 Books in 2 Months!!!" clickbait video. That surprised me because our society says we should measure our value as a person by our commercial success. But I don't subscribe to that idea anymore.

❤️ What are your favorite scenes from your WIPs?

I like the scenes that are both emotionally charged but a little funny. Like Ragnelle and Gawain unbelievably horny for each other which is goofy but deeply romantic. So they're fucking and sucking in broad daylight, in public, haven't even locked the door, only for her grandpa to walk in on them and they're grown ass adults but they have to leap apart like teenagers because they lost their heads. Or that time Percival is hiding in a tree with Morien from Twrch Trwyth and they accidentally witness a particularly intimate exchange between Lamorak and Agravaine only for Agravaine to notice them, have three silent mental breakdowns in a row, then decide to pretend it didn't happen and walk away before Lamorak works out what he missed. Then again, I particularly enjoy my horror scenes. Ragnelle coming to terms with her cursed reflection; Lamorak encountering the Questing Beast for the first time; Elaine continuously gaslit by Lancelot's memory loss about their son's existence; Orkney bros mental illnesses and physical disabilities resulting in flashbacks and memory loss and pain. Many such cases! All horror subgenres accounted for!

⁉️ What do you do when stuck on a scene?

Read! Read! Read!!!!! Reading something in the same genre or even just the same vibes as the scene I'm stuck on helps a lot.

[basicbeigecapybara]

My Opinion Regarding Red Dead Redemption 2 [SPOILER]

Today, I will be summarizing the well-known game "RDR2" Also known as "Red Dead Redemption" including its features and so on. now I must say that I am very fond of the graphics in this game, far better than most Rockstar games which already gives it a bonus. Plus, the nature is very catching and realistic as it has caves, mountains, rivers, canyons, deserts, Etc. There is so much more to explore and that is why I love it most. The plot of the whole story mode is complex, but as you progress, it gets more understandable, especially during the middle stages. Near the end of the game, you start to figure out more secrets behind the characters, which finishes most of the plot however, you will start to notice the downfall of the characters and how they worsen over time. once the game is completed, you can find their graves hidden throughout the map which gives a nostalgia effect as well, you can also even find some of the characters who had managed to survive through the story, as well as side characters. The NPCs are very interactive, and you can even talk to them, antagonize them, or rob them. and also throughout the game, you can treat the NPCs nicely and it will give you good effects in the later stages of the story. It shows a nice feeling of vengeance, for example: when you help the native Americans with rivalries and whatnot. you are in big battles defending them which gives off a sense of retaliation. this motivates the user to fight harder in the missions because most likely the user knows about the fact that the US beats the natives during colonization. so the user wants to kill as much of the enemy as they can, wishing the natives had won. this can hype up the user and motivate them. the game introduces you to different side characters, such as the "Neanderthal" "Feral Human" and many others. this game also has an eerie side. as it introduces the "Strange Man" who is known for his black top hat and mystical ways, and I am only getting started. there is the Aberdeen Pig Farm where you are introduced to a very overweight man and his sister. you will walk into their house and be offered food. once you accept the food you will then be told about how it used to be a pig farm and how their parents died and shortly after you will then be poisoned and greeted in the middle of nowhere, and all of your stuff is stolen. you can come back to the house later and get it back. there will also be strange dead bodies throughout the map including serial killers. the game can get very gruesome as proven. You can find clues about the serial killers and eventually find out where they're hiding out. once you walk in, very terrible things will appear and he will try to make you a victim, however, luckily enough you can escape and you can then report him to the "law" and get money for it. plus, there are other bounty missions you can do for a good price such as a man who claims to be a healer and actually gives out poison, or a psychotic woman who lures men in and kills them. and there are even different gangs throughout the game, like the "Moonshiners" or the "Skinner Brothers" and even the "Night folk" Something I am also very happy about is the hunting. there is a bunch of different animals you can encounter and hunt. there are also Legendary Animals that can be found around the map, you can hunt them and sell them, or make clothes out of them. One thing I don't really like about the game is the stupidity of the NPCs like when they can fight you all they want and not get in trouble. but if you punch once, the law will arrest you. I hope that my summary was a pleasure to read (if anyone actually reads these which I'm pretty sure they don't) And if you stuck around and read my true speech of boredom then thank you.

[merakiui]

I was reading through your tags and you mentioned at some point the kazuscara roommates finding your onlyfans and I think I completely combusted—thus i present to you my brain rot of late: you attend the same school as them but you’re not actually friends, all you know about kazuha is that he’s the friendly regular at the cafe you work at, who makes polite conversation every now and then but otherwise is nothing of note. In reality he’s been stalking you for weeks ever since your first encounter, and is dead set on the idea that you’re this innocent, weak thing that needs to be protected (maybe he stepped in when you had a bad customer and your meek reply helped fester his delusions?). Scara, on the other hand, is only aware of your presence since you’re his favourite cam model that he recently found. (Since he’s a harbinger he’s probs loaded) Weeks of funnelling money towards you cause him to feel this unwarranted possessiveness, believing that since he’s been providing so much in your “relationship” that it’s time you reward him in turn. However, despite the unbridled interest they have toward you neither are aware of each other’s feelings for you— that is, until you happen to run into the both of them heading to your class. While both are known for maintaining their stoic masks, they’re friends for a reason— and instantly can tell the attraction their roommates have towards their own “lover”. After kazuha finds your onlyfans he’s certain that you’ve been coerced and wants to save you, while scara thinks it’s time that he’s stopped letting other plebeians look at his possession—so, despite their initial reservations, come together to form the ideal plan. When you find yourself waking up groggy in a room you don’t recognize, all they can do is look on with glee whilst planning their next course of action with their new belonging. They’re friends after all, and good friends share though, don’t they?

This is v long srry lol you can ignore this ofc!!

AAAH, ANON!! YES!!! <3 I couldn’t resist writing more on this concept. orz They make for such a terrifying pair when they work together!

(cw: yandere, stalking, nsfw, implied kidnapping/drugging, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, delusional thoughts, savior complex, implied violence)

What if Kazuha and Scara were just acquainted with one another and actually became closer through their mutual obsession with you? Yes, they’re roommates and ought to get along because they’re living together but they haven’t exactly clicked yet. They talk every now and then and know little things about each other. Nothing too special. They don’t really hang out outside of their dorm either, what with their class schedules being vastly different. And Kazuha’s always out of the dorm doing who-knows-what. Most of his time is spent at a café, where he’ll write and read and stare at you while you work. On the other hand, Scara prefers to stay inside if he doesn’t have a good reason to go out. He likes his alone time. Although he has enjoyed going to the library every now and then to study.

So maybe they need to find some common ground. Maybe they need a push in the right direction before they get closer.

Kazuha likes to stare. Talking to you is great, but he worries he’ll say too much and then he’ll be a nuisance, or you might not want to talk to him at all since you’re working. But you always regard him with a warm smile, happy to scribble his name on the plastic cup because you remember him. Because you recognize his familiar face and soft, gentle eyes. He’s the one who saved you from that rude customer, after all, and he’s a polite regular. Why wouldn’t you know him? You might look like you can handle those types of situations, but what Kazuha saw that day was something entirely different. You were nervous—so soft-spoken and scared. He absolutely has to protect you from those kinds of people now, doesn’t he?

And he does exactly that. He’s your second pair of eyes—your valiant knight in shining armor—who sees and hears all. Sometimes he goes to the café with the intention to simply watch over you and make sure no one’s bothering you. He can recall one time when a customer was speaking rudely about you because her drink hadn’t been prepared in a ‘timely manner.’ In reality it’s impossible to make a drink within a few seconds, especially when you’re already preoccupied with making another customer’s drink. She must’ve woken up on the wrong side of the bed, or maybe she’s just a hateful person in general. You didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of such fiery insults, though.

Her eyes just can’t see your perfection and therefore she does not deserve to see out of them.

Kazuha’s willing to wrestle with all of this darkness if it means you’ll stay safe, oblivious, and pure. You’re like a defenseless kitten, unable to protect yourself from the scary world. He writes about you a lot in his journal; you’re his muse—someone who constantly shows up in poems and short paragraphs where he tries to describe what your dream date might be or what type of wedding you’d prefer. Things get darker the deeper you delve into his writings, where you’ll find entries in great detail. Kazuha writes a lot and he doesn’t even mean to. He just has to get all of his thoughts on paper before they abandon him and he’s left with emptiness.

Everything you do is pure; you’re almost an equivalent to a holy being. Your smell is pure. Your body is pure. Your actions are pure. Your smile is pure. Even when you’re on the verge of crying from harsh customers or when you’re turning down a confession, you’re still pure. And Kazuha likes that about you because it’s special. There aren’t many people in his life who are completely pure. He’s been through a lot of rough things and has seen firsthand how impure people can be. It’s only fair that he gets a chance to protect purity itself.

He might have some impurities, but that doesn’t deter him from watching over you. As gentle and unassuming as he is, there are times when even he loses his composure. Not many are privy to these dark emotions of his. His smiles are sharp and venomous and his eyes fill with a gloom so dark it can swallow you whole. You’ll never see this side of him; he won’t allow it. Instead you’re treated to his sweet, calm side, where he feigns perfection in hopes of catching your interest.

As for Scara… He doesn’t really care about Kazuha in the beginning. He’s just someone he has to live with. It’s not a big deal and as long as he doesn’t try to make lots of pointless conversation everything will be okay. He prefers the peace and quiet, considering he’s acquainted with people who are far from peaceful and quiet. Scara’s relieved that Kazuha leaves the dorm so often because it gives him an opportunity to watch his favorite cam star’s most recent video. He’s your most loyal follower—someone who’s paid lots of money just to have access to the highest tier of rewards and such. He even got a private video where you addressed him and moaned out his name with lustful thoughts of him. Having lots of money comes in handy.

When he finds out that you go to the same school as him, he’s a little shocked. He didn’t expect you to be so close. You’re practically within touching distance. If only he knew your schedule. If only you were in one of his classes. It’s really annoying that he only knows your online presence and not who you might be in your personal life. The last thing he’s going to do is consult Childe, that popular athlete who knows literally everyone in the school for whatever reason. Surely he knows you. But he’ll die before he ever asks Childe for a favor.

Scara loves you out of every other cam model because you’re different. You’re not just trying to get fast cash. You’re genuine. You listen to your subscribers and their feedback. You do your best to improve and do even better streams than the previous ones. All of your hard work is overlooked by the other fools who watch your streams, but it isn’t overlooked by him. Scara appreciates your attention to detail and the way you’re able to hook him with your breathless voice alone. You’re very skilled at what you do, so it’s only fair you get paid for it.

But buying your services isn’t enough. It’s not a real relationship, but it certainly feels like it when he buys preferential treatment. Private shows, special requests, odd favors—you do it all because he pays for it. But this relationship isn’t going to be one-sided forever. You’ll have to pay him back in full eventually. Scara likes to think he has patience and that waiting is fine. It gives him more time to plan his next move—to figure out what he should do to finally have you all to himself. So that those private shows he watches through a screen can finally be real.

Scara finds the journal sitting innocently on Kazuha’s bed, its maroon cover and maple leaves pulling at his curiosity. He might not know everything about Kazuha, but he’d recognize this journal anywhere. His roommate almost always has it on his person. Scara wouldn’t be surprised if he slept with it. To say he’s curious would be absolutely correct. He can only wonder what Kazuha writes in that thing. Perhaps it’s just notes for a class. That’s what anyone would think, right?

Scara opens it and flips through the first few pages. They’re normal for the most part. Just a bunch of haikus and other useless scribbles. When he skips over some pages, he starts to find things that are far more interesting than poetry and doodles of cats. He finds the majority of the journal is comprised of information. More specifically, there are facts and other knowledge about you—the cam model he’s been obsessed with ever since he stumbled upon your onlyfans. He reads through as much of the journal as he can and instantly learns so much: your address, your roommate, your workplace, your friends’ names, names of any potential exes. The list goes on and on.

Scara doesn’t have anything against Kazuha. His first impression of him wasn’t anything groundbreaking. He thought he was a pushover at first. But now that he knows what this journal holds… Well, it sheds an entirely new light on his roommate.

Just days before Scara took a peek inside his journal, Kazuha discovers your secret online life. He snoops through Scara’s laptop when he steps out, having left it open and unlocked. He’s just trying to find what could have caught Scara’s interest, as he’s almost always glued to his laptop on specific days at specific times, with his headphones on and his gaze unyielding. He doesn’t intend to find the file of one of your private videos—something that was meant only for Scara’s eyes.

He clicks on the video out of interest. He’s not sure what he was expecting to see, but it definitely wasn’t this. Kazuha sits there and stares at the sight before him. You’re dressed in skimpy lingerie and you’re muttering the dirtiest things while coating your fingers in lube. And your hands are stroking a thick toy and you’re addressing Scara and you’re lining it up to your hole and— He shuts the laptop before it can get even more explicit than it already is. He’s so conflicted, fraught with a betrayal so strong it weighs his heart down.

Why would he have this sort of video on his laptop? Did you give it to him? Did he make you do this? Are you in danger? Are you still pure?

Kazuha can’t kill on campus. It’s way too risky and he’d be one of the first suspects if Scara’s body is found. Besides, it’s not like he has the full story. He doesn’t know whether or not Scara’s done something that’s worthy of death. You could just be in a tight spot. He knows how easily you give in when you’re under pressure. Maybe you’re just doing this because you feel like it’s the only thing you can do. Not to worry; Kazuha will save you before Scara can ruin your purity with his twisted fantasies.

They confront each other when the time feels right. Kazuha struggles to keep a smile plastered to his face for the sake of politeness, while Scara holds in his raging temper so that he can bear some semblance of cooperation. Neither of them is happy to hear that the other went through their stuff, but they force themselves to make up because a more pressing issue is at hand: their connection to you.

Kazuha says he’s your secret admirer. Scara says he’s in a relationship with you. There’s no way you’d ever date someone like Scara—Kazuha knows this for a fact. Yet he falters at the confidence in Scara’s tone. That can’t be the truth, right? Despite this, Kazuha still strikes up an offer: If they work together to get what they both want, they’ll be unstoppable. With Scara’s riches and his influence and Kazuha’s charisma and clever thinking, they can easily get their hands on you. Of course this means they’ll have to share, but it’s not a big deal when they’re already in so deep. They both know the other’s secret; now they’re swearing to keep it in the pursuit of having you all to themselves. And luckily Scara agrees to the deal, but that doesn’t give Kazuha a reason to lower his guard.

However despite how well they work together when it comes to planning the kidnapping and actually executing it, they both have their own reasons for wanting you. Scara wishes to make his relationship with you a reality—to toss aside the screen that once held him back and finally do all of the things he could only do in his dreams. Kazuha seeks to protect your fragile heart, lest you crumble under Scara’s intense way of doing things and cling to him for salvation. You can’t do those sorts of things with Scara; he won’t allow it. Your purity is meant for him and no one else.

But sharing is caring and some have to learn that the hard way. It definitely brings Kazuha and Scara closer together, even if neither of them will admit it. If they look past their desires, they can be friends. And soon enough they’ll have to accept this new friendship if they want to avoid any unnecessary complications.

However there are times when they’ll cooperate in order to do things with you. They’re a packaged deal you can’t get rid of.

[terrainofheartfelt]

hey! I know the little dair fandom has talked about blair's decision to run back to chuck as something that could technically make sense for her character (if executed better as a decision of fear that her happiness with dan could never last)... but what do you think about dan sleeping with serena after hearing he "lost blair"? please keep in mind i get watched the last part of s5/6 so if i missed something here sorry lol

aha another softball! lol. I so appreciate you asking this question and I do have a lot of thoughts about it, so many that this response is long, and there is discussion of the dubious situations of consent and sexual coercion that happens in the show so for safety I'm putting the rest of this under a read more. Please read responsibly <333

simply put....yes, unfortunately I do think it fits the MO of Dan Humphrey, Self-Saboteur. the specifics of the situation are more complex than that -- which I'll get to in a sec -- but yes, I think it makes sense for his character. he does have this pattern. when he and Vanessa were having problems at the end of s3 and beginning of s4 (again. complex!) he turned to Serena, and in s2 when he and Serena were on the ropes (again) his crush on She Who Will Not Be Named got wayyyy too out of hand, and in s1 when he felt that Serena was withholding and on the verge of breaking up with him, he spent the night with Georgina.

Actually, come to think of it, there's intricate complications to all these events that exacerbates the abandonment issues Dan already has - complications that aren't necessarily within his control (His grief over Milo; stress of Vanessa's summer abroad/his father's marriage/Jenny's depression; being led on by an adult that should have known better; Georgina's manipulation of Serena's attachment to him). That being said, he does have this pattern, ever since his mother leaves and Vanessa leaves him for the first time, that when he sees trouble coming, when he sees the fall out of being left coming, he acts out, almost as if to do something egregious enough to justify being left. something to make himself deserve it.

So, with all of that character stuff at play, it makes sense that Dan would try to...numb the pain of Blair leaving him for someone else with Serena. BUT. I would be remiss if I were to talk about this and not address the truly fucked up behavior Serena exhibits in the episode (and arguably - I'll get to it in a minute - she kind of didn't need to?):

She knows of Dan's ultimatum to Blair to show up for him at this party, and therefore conspires to keep Blair away as long as possible, she gets Dan drunk and vulnerable and alone, and disrobed (I think she spills a drink on them? it's been a while since I've watched because it Upsets Me and furthermore it is Fake), and when she has enough circumstantial evidence to prove Blair is currently with Chuck, she makes her move, and Dan, drunk, alone, and vulnerable, falls into his pattern of self-sabotage. AND - Serena films their whole encounter without his prior knowledge or consent, as....blackmail material? I think she was planning to show Blair as some twisted revenge thing?

The cracks of Dair's breakup were already there, but not irreparable: Blair was afraid of this new future, Dan was a bunch of raw nerve endings stacked up together wearing a trenchcoat after falling in love so hard for someone every damn time for the last five years, and they were both fragile from that. But what Serena did, to manipulate the situation and spin it to her advantage, she did because she is perhaps one of the few people in the world who knows blair and dan so well to prey upon their vulnerabilities like this, and because she's serena, they both trust her, and she exploits that trust, and violates Dan in an...irreparable kind of way.

and, as I've been writing this response I've been thinking....she really did not have to go that far. and to what end? gossip!serena as we know is #notmyserena, but the...the extent of the troubles she took to orchestrate how everything went down, using the minions (or maybe just Penelope?), the revenge porn (BOOO BAD NO GOOD VERY BAD), all the manipulations, she didn't have to. Or, at least, the writing of the show could have executed the circumstance better, without the cost to serena's character or dan and serena's relationship.

I joke about Gossip Girl's original sin being pivoting Chuck Bass into being the romantic male lead without actually trying, but maybe the real original sin, before they tried that, was the compulsion to always be upping the stakes, to make the character's actions escalate to the most salacious things they could think of in that moment, without considering what living out those situations would do to a real person. You could throw a dart at any plot point really and see this, but it becomes more blatant as the show goes on, and you can sort of...well, like this post, see the stitching on the back of the canvas. the gaps are more gaping and harder to explain away. having two characters break up wasn't enough, they had to make it as dramatic as possible, without the consideration of the toll that it would take on the characters involved. Blair sure, Serena yes, but especially Dan.

ummmmmmm also I talk about this a lot in my longform post s5 au Mouthful of Forevers available on an ao3 near you xoxo

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 19, part one

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Chilling in Yiling

We start off with Wei Wuxian hanging out in a busy area of Yiling, which is a really dumb place to pick for a fugitive rendezvous.  

He's wearing a fashionably distressed brown robe, and a woven disguise hat, that makes him invisible to his enemies until the moment he takes it off, kinda like the mask he wears in his second life. Unfortunately he is a polite boi so he takes off the disguise hat when he goes indoors to get a bite to eat, and promptly gets smacked down by Wen Zhuliu. 

Xiao Zhan's stunt double is really good at this wire-pull+table-smash move; this is the second time Wei Wuxian goes crashing through a table (the first one being when Yu Ziyuan was beating him). This time he clutches his now core-less abdomen, in a move we're going to be seeing a lot of, going forward. Abdominal surgery is a bitch. OP can personally attest to this.

Wen Zhuliu provides some comic relief by looking at his hand in puzzlement; he clearly can tell Wei Wuxian has no golden core, but he isn't going to bother telling Wen Chao that.

Wen Chao gloats and steps on Wei Wuxian's hand while Wei Wuxian stares at his shoe and OP wonders, not for the first time, how they make rubberized zig-zag treads in Ancient Fantasy China.

(more after the cut)

This is all happening in the Yiling Wine house where Wei Wuxian will later share the most important meal of his life, the one in which A-Yuan lays claim to Lan Wangji, ultimately giving LWJ a reason to live long enough for Wei Wuxian to be resurrected. If that doesn��t deserve a good Yelp review, nothing does. 

Dream a Little Dream of Me

While Wei Wuxian gets ready for his big whump scene, Jiang Cheng is dreaming, and looking absolutely breathtaking in this deceptively simple robe, that's made of a really complex fabric, that catches the light all over its surface.  The lighting here is warm and romantic, giving everything a nostalgic glow.

He looks around the courtyard in his dream, and sees Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian come running in the gate carrying kites. 

A child fetching a kite was the first casualty of the Wen attack on Lotus Pier, so this image may already be a little fraught for Jiang Cheng. In this initial image of his family, Jiang Cheng isn't present as a child, but then his junior self comes running up, to be warmly greeted by his mother.

Jiang Cheng's reaction to the scene playing out in front of him is not a simple one. We've seen him externally expressing his trauma at the fate of Lotus Pier and his family - his anger and his despair - and this dream shows us his private, interior trauma. 

His body has been repaired by Wei Wuxian and the Wens, but his psyche has not.

This family interaction can't possibly be one that ever happened. It's too lively, too affectionate, too comfortable. The family he was part of as a young adult was cold, angry, cracked.  Families don't change that much in 10 years, unless there's a major trauma that alters things in a fundamental way.

Even the glimpses we got of his childhood contradict this image. This warm group is not the family of "I sent your dogs away" or "wait in the cold until Jiang Cheng lets you in" or "I won't tell Clan Leader Jiang what happened" or "I'm only 11 but I'm in charge of soup and bedtime already"

Jiang Cheng smiles at the affection he sees enacted in front of him, but quickly moves to grief. When a toxic person dies, you don't just lose the relationship you had with them; you lose the hope for a better relationship. Perhaps Jiang Cheng has always imagined this version of his family; now nothing like it can ever come to be.

The pleasant scene vanishes into nightmare, as his mother starts bleeding from her eyes, ew. This is like Nie Mingjue when he qi deviates, but dream Yu Ziyuan is perfectly chill about it. 

Jiang Cheng is not perfectly chill about it. 

He turns around to see Lotus Pier burning. When he turns back, his family has been replaced with Wen Zhuliu, who is particularly gleeful as he reaches into Jiang Cheng's chest and melts his core.

Jiang Cheng wakes up on the mountain, alone (as far as he knows), and quickly stands and boots up his new golden core.

It's purple, because of course it is. King. The nightmare is gone and he smiles, maybe for the first time since the attack on the pier.

In a moment that is probably going to feel really embarrassing in hindsight, he kneels and bows toward the mountaintops to thank Baoshan Sanren, who is totally not there. 

Wen Ning, on the other hand, is there, although we only see a little bit of his belt and robe as Jiang Cheng walks off to Yiling to meet his brother.  This entire plotline walks a very weird line in which the audience is told just enough about what’s really happening to be confused, but not surprised.

Do the Whumpty Whump

After some initial roughing up, Wen Chao has his dudes stand Wei Wuxian up so he can question him without actually getting any information out of him at all. They take turns calling each other dogs, with Wei Wuxian saying that when Wen Chao talks he just hears a dog barking. (Of course if he really heard a dog barking he'd be terrified) 

Then he says "isn't that right" to Wang Lingjiao, and Wen Chao gets super pissed; don't disrespect me to my woman. 

He has his minions do a Nancy Kerrigan to Wei Wuxian's knee and then kick him for a while.

Then they kick the shit out of the camera operator.

Wen Chao is really not about fighting his own fights.  He also keeps threatening to have Wen Zhuliu melt Wei Wuxian's core, and Wen Zhuliu keeps popping up his hand and then putting it back when Wen Chao changes his mind, which gets more hilarious every time I watch it. Feng Mingjing’s physical embodiment of Wen Zhuliu is endlessly entertaining, even in scenes where he has literally no lines. 

I Ain’t Afraid of No Ghost

Wei Wuxian continues to goad Wen Chao, telling him that more torture is good because then he'll die with loads of resentment. He says that after he dies, he will come back as a ferocious ghost, which is...almost exactly what happens, except he stays alive for the ferocious part. 

They go back and forth about the feasibility of this whole haunting plan. Wang Lingjiao is the voice of reason, for once, arguing the "ghosts aren't real and anyway fuck this guy" position.

Wen Chao thinks that he can’t haunt them because of cultivator security hardening procedures soul-calming rituals, but Wei Wuxian wasn't born into a gentry family so didn't have the anti-fierce-ghost treatment that other cultivators get.

This is the only time in the whole of the show when Wei Wuxian says, himself, that he's the son of a servant. He's using his reputation as a commoner to bolster his threats. 

Wei Wuxian is working hard to put on a scary-guy persona, which works pretty well on Wang Lingjiao but not as much on the rest of the group. Three months from this time, however, he will have become the scary, vengeful creature he's currently spitballing about.  He will also become way, way better at torture than the people who are currently mistreating him. 

Wang Lingjiao and Wen Chao go through a whole sequence of ideas about what to do with him. For whatever reason Wang Lingjiao doesn't insist on chopping his arm off even though she's been craving it for ages. 

She does gleefully burn his burn some more, causing it to bleed directly into the giant obvious bag he has hanging from his belt leaking resentful energy. Which the Wens do not take away or search.

Wen Chao, incidentally, starts calling him Wei Ying during this encounter, which is rude of him. Tch.  Finally Wen Chao decides on a plan, which involves sword-flying effects so terrible that no soul can survive them.

Jiang Cheng is looking for Wei Wuxian in town, wearing a woven hat like Wei Wuxian’s.  This...is not a disguise. If you want to be inconspicuous, maybe take that giant piece of silver off of your head.

He hears random people talking about the Wens being in town, and then he apparently looks up at the sky and sees the Wen dudes flying on their swords with Wei Wuxian, but it looks so ridiculous that Jiang Cheng's mind cannot process what he is seeing.

While they "fly," Wen Chao delivers a massive brick of exposition about the burial mounds, while Wei Wuxian looks genuinely frightened. The VFX of random, undifferentiated mountaintops and clouds do nothing to sell this menace, but the exposition is actually pretty good, creating a real sense of disturbance and threat.

Then they toss him in, and we go from the terrible VFX of sword flying to a visual effect that they mercifully did really well throughout the show - the black resentment smoke. This time it catches Wei Wuxian and holds him for a few moments, before dropping him the rest of the way to the ground. It also apparently pulls the turtle sword out of his belt bag, but we don't see that part.

They Say That Every Man Must Fall

Having seen Wei Wuxian at his lowest point (so far) and dream Jiang Cheng also in deep distress, we go to the Dafan Wen sibs, who have also reached a breaking point. Because they helped Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, they are traitors to their clan - unquestionably so - and are being punished for it, with Wen Ning having been tortured in addition to being locked up.

I see my light come shining From the west down to the east Any day now, any day now I shall be released

You know how Lan Xichen successfully argued for Wen-Clan-Member Meng Yao's life and status, because Meng Yao betrayed Wen Ruohan to help them? Even though Meng Yao killed a bunch of Nie guys? Wen Ning and Wen Qing also betrayed Wen Ruohan and helped the Sunshot Campaign, without killing a bunch of guys. They should have been treated as allies by the four other clans, but they got diddly.  

I’ve Been Dead Once

We return to Wei Wuxian in the burial grounds, where he's lying on the ground surrounded by resentful energy and by strained, desperate voices calling his name. This whole sequence is remarkable, since it effectively communicates the horror he's experiencing, through little more than Xiao Zhan's face and good sound design.

I hang around dying to be tortured  You'll never be alone in the bone orchard

The voices call four versions of his name. A variety of voices call him Wei Wuxian, Wei Gongzi, and Shixiong, which (I think) is what the young Jiang disciples would have called him. And in the midst of those voices, Lan Wangji's voice, low and calm, saying "Wei Ying." Upon hearing that Wei Wuxian starts to drag himself up.

For a show with definitely no zombies in it, they sure do use the visual language of zombie films for Wei Wuxian's first motions after hitting the ground. Starting with twitching fingers, then gradually pulling himself halfway up and crawling, lurching across the ground. Wei Wuxian comes slowly back to life, the very first member of his army of the dead.

He makes his way across the ground toward the floating turtle sword. Along the way he accidentally grabs the world's most bowlegged thigh bone; the lack of sunshine in the burial mounds puts the skeletons at risk for rickets.  All of the skeletons in the show are exactly what you would expect from the practical effects team that made the demon hand and the animatronic dog.

The turtle sword is roiling with resentful energy, and is talking to Wei Wuxian as he crawls toward it, asking if he wants revenge. And what a coincidence, he DOES want revenge. 

He grabs the sword and plunges it into the ground in an explosion of resentful energy. (Ground: why you gotta take it out on me?)

The sequence ends with the most compelling, ominous shot of Wei Wuxian's face...a new man. 

Soundtrack: 1. I Shall Be Released by Bob Dylan 2. Beyond Belief by Elvis Costello  

Writing Prompt: The Day Wei Wuxian arrived, from the POV of a Burial Mounds ghost. 

[kaijurakunsobs]

You will feel joy, one day

master list for this series

sorry for the wait y'all, I had to torture myself into listening to the same song to get the inspo I needed for this next chapter which is READYMADE - Ado (it has English subtitles btw)

Hope you guys enjoy this!

Summary: It's been clear from the start that you won't go down without putting up a fight, the tone in your voice and stand are nothing but infuriating for Heisenberg, just like his mere presence fills you with annoyance. The factory is enormous and whatever he's doing here could get you killed, but even in this kingdom of oil and rusted metal, there's a bit of kindness.

Right now, you would accept the title of naive, because you were when you thought this man would share his secrets with you, instead...he's giving you a fucking tour of the entire place, wildly pointing and all the doors and doing sharp turns, taking you up and down flights of stairs "I hope you don't get lost, darlin', we don't want you ending in the wrong place, right?" there's mockery in his voice as he speaks over his shoulder, halting to a stop and making you trip and crash against him.

"This is the boiler room, you might want to familiarize yourself with this place in particular" a snarky smile appearing on his lips

Peeking inside makes you go pale and sigh in frustration, it's a mess, you can see cables, crudely fixed with tape, more flammable materials, and so many oil spills on the ground, "I can also familiarize with the rest of the fabric because this dump could explode any day"

His smile falls and that expression of annoyance, that just seems to be for you, comes back in no time. Releasing a cloud of smoke he turns around and starts walking faster, slowly regaining his showman's voice and the exuberance of his movements renew with the occasional laugh, is enough to make you tune him out again, looking at whatever you find more interesting, nose scrunching up with whenever there's something that unsettles or makes you question this man's leadership and care for this place. If you do take the role of helping him, you know you're gonna exploited day and night.

He's not blind or stupid, he knows you are doing everything but listening to him, every time he looks over his shoulder to make sure you are following and paying him some god damn attention, he will always see you eyeing everything, dissecting the place, and doing a face that just speaks volumes of how unimpressed you are by his life's work, but it's not like he will tell you about his plans, it's too soon for that, what if you are just a little spy under Miranda's orders?

It rubs him the wrong way how adamant she was on you being under his orders, super-sized bitch didn't raised too much hell, which also puts him on edge, it just doesn't feel normal for him. In any other situation where Miranda has favored him over Dimitrescu, and it wasn't because "mother" gave her that heartfelt speech Karl being all alone on his iron tower, Moreau is the forgotten child of the bunch and has to beg for almost everything, Miranda is already pissed with Donna and her botanical gig, let alone, the way she uses her cadou to just make dolls move.

That left him in the position akin to a middle child, he's just there, occasionally remembered and rarely to give him treats or surprises. He's used to scavenging for materials, do the occasional grave robbing or take the corpses the other Lords leave behind.

So, why did she left you with him?

"Lastly but no less important! the living quarters"

You have been so lost in thought, you didn't noticed that his "fantastical tour" is over, and you are back to the front of the complex...shit, you didn't even paid attention to where everything is, you're gonna get so lost if you try to navigate this place on your own.

After entering the brute closes the door behind you and goes to the left office, you can hear him mumbling under his breath and things being moved around, you don't know how long he's going to be in there, so you turn your attention to the rest of the room.

From everything you have seen, this place is the cleanest one and it makes you think of the layout in your family's factory. It looks like he repurposed what used to be the waiting area, there's a kitchen in the right corner, a couple of sofas that had seen better days, a lot of blueprints have been left on the coffee table. To the left, it's the main office, a lot bigger and the tinted glass on the door has the name Heisenberg hand-painted on it, classy, you suppose that that's his room? you don't care, opting for getting close to the blueprints, his handwriting is atrocious and there are notes everywhere, how interesting, one of the workers used to say that was a sign of a brilliant mind.

"You are not allowed to go there, a'right?" hearing him so close makes you jump, when did he come back? from the tone of his voice, you might be right, it's either his bedroom "This one, however! this one is just for you" he says oh so sweetly when pointing at the smaller office to the right opening the door rather unceremoniously.

Now you get why the rest of this area is so clean and clutter-free, motherfucker pushed all the trash and old furniture in there, it's dusty and the air, somehow, is stale only in this place, you can see cobwebs "Since I'm being kind enough to let you sleep on this side and not in the cellars, I think is fair that you take care of the mess, don't you think?"

"Can't I just sleep in one of the couches?"

"Of course not, we don't want my precious mechanic to get sick, right?" condescending asshole, he even smiles at you, showing you his teeth in what you identify as an act of intimidation

"Of course we don't want that, my Lord! but, I do must say, you have been ill-mannered, showing me around your domain yet...you haven't told me your name when introductions were supposed to be made long ago" it's your turn to give him teeth flashing smile, his going a bit forced

"Well you see sweetheart, I would have done it earlier, but I came encountered a disrespectful brat that decked me in the face as soon as we met"

"Really now? Perhaps, this brat was done with being manhandled and reacted accordingly to how they felt" the sardonic smile on your face grows and you can see how much it pisses him off, and that shouldn't make you proud.

The man is looking, more like attempting, to look down on you, clicking his tongue loudly and in a dissatisfied manner, with complete derision, he gives you, the closest thing to a respectful bow "My name is Karl Heisenberg and I'm one of the four Lords working under Miranda's orders"

In response, you give him a curtsy and use your best sarcastic tone, just for him "It's such an honor to meet you, my lord. I must say I'm no noble but I do HOPE you may remember the name of this pheasant girl, Y/N, L/N Y/N"

He doesn't appreciate the way you talk to him or how you don't even try to hide how little you respect or fear him, but he needs you alive to accelerate and optimize the factory's production, under other circumstances? he would have thrown you down to let the Sturm have some fun, but he won't, at least for now.

"So, Miss Y/N...let me give you a...welcoming gift" he's harsh when trusting a bundle of crumpled clothes and old boots into your arms, pushing you back hard enough that you almost lose your balance "I don't expect you to always wear my hand-me-downs, this is a momentary arrangement"

"Oh my! so generous of you, to clothe this poor village girl with your own garments, I am so thankful for this, however, if I may ask for a tiny favor...can I know where your bathroom is? I don't what to soil this fine fabric with my dirty body"

You don't like the way he smiles at you, with one hand he grabs your shoulder and with the other he opens the door, pushing you towards what used to be the employee's showers, there's mold and broken mirrors, a lot of the shower heads are gone and the only one that seems to be functioning is leaking.

"Serve yourself, princess, just know this...there's only cold water, the hot water stopped working years ago and I haven't felt like repairing it, I hope you enjoy your shower!"

And with that, he leaves you, finally alone but unnerved on how easily he could come back and just stare at you like a creep. But you need a shower, there's grime and dirt caked to your body and it's starting to get disgusting and itchy. So you swallow your pride and leave the borrowed clothes over the small wall separating the showers from the rest of the place and brace yourself to what might be the worst moment of the day so far.

Later you are cursing him as loud as you can, he didn't lie when he said that only the cold water worked, but you would say it was freezing, his clothes are uncomfortably big on you, and smell of faint sweat and like these were left tucked away for a long time, the boots are the best part, these have been broken in nicely and they fit you...who are you kidding? the damn things are falling apart and you feel like a clown with how big they are.

That has left you with the shining crown of the shit show that's been this whole day! the trash in your new room, you had to box so many useless papers, look everywhere to find one measly broom, and use the remains of the gown you came in with to keep your hair out of your face and as a bandana to cover your nose and mouth.

From all the old furniture in the room, the only useful stuff is the old desk, a sofa that somehow survived without being eating by termites but might be infested with cockroaches, and a lamp. It's not much, but it's something.

All this moving around now has brought a new problem.

You are starving.

You can't remember when Miranda took you, let alone when was your last meal or if you were fed during your time in the cell. But Heisenberg's fridge is empty, there's only a handful of onions and those have roots and sprouts coming out already. There's nothing substantial in the cupboards or anywhere for that matter.

You doubt there might anything to eat in this place, but, you better give it a try, better die trying than going to sleep with a grumbling stomach, right? But, you didn't learn jackshit from him and you can't remember anything from the directions Heisenberg gave you.

Fuck it.

Slowly you creep out of the small apartment and peek outside, looking around assures you that the coast is clear. This could be a great learning experience! no matter how much of a dick this man is, there's something of value in his words and maybe, just maybe, you should pay more attention when he talks...MAYBE.

The place is a labyrinth of stairs, broken walls turned into hallways and sealed doors, you do have half a mind to remember which doors and areas he pointed as "out of bounds" for you, which is a surprise, seeing how massive the place is.

Under the stench of grease and smoke, you notice, the tasty scent of stew...close, very close, your poor stomach twisting painfully and mouth rapidly filling with saliva, you start following the heavenly aroma until you reach an old cargo lift, a large man sits there and for a moment that makes you stop in your tracks.

The man is surrounded by bags and crates filled with stuff from fruits to what you guess are various pieces of machinery and other objects hard to identify in the low light "Aaaaah...a new customer perhaps? You must be Lord Heisenberg's new assistant, are you not?"

He smiles with true kindness and something similar to pity, meaty hands adorned with gold rings beacon you close "Come come, miss...?"

"Uuuuuuuh...I'm Y/N, nice to meet you..."

"Pleasure to make your acquaintance miss Y/N, you may call me The Duke"

There's something infectious in him that makes you relax your shoulders and walk closer to him "So...what do you do here Duke?"

"What? well, I'm nothing but a humble merchant, occasionally I set up shop here in the factory, especially when I have a delivery or things that may spark Lord Heisenberg's interest, and now that you are here, I will make a note to bring stuff you could use too"

"I...I would appreciate the gesture, thanks" the small sincere smile in your face drops when your stomach decides to grumble loud enough to be heard by the Duke, the man laughing at the sound, making your embarrassment worst.

"Would like to accompany me with dinner, dear? I have made plenty and this could be a small...celebratory feast for you"

"Celebratory? no offense, but...there's nothing to celebrate"

"Aren't you alive and able to walk?" he's so careful when serving some stew in a bowl, making sure not to spill a drop "I think that surviving whatever happened to you, is worth celebrating"

The bowl is warm in your hands and the smell is just divine, you take a seat on the floor waiting for the Duke to serve his bowl and then you dig in, sighing in appreciation when the rich taste of the broth fills your mouth, the softness of the meat and the carrots. You can see the Duke smile with pride when you compliment his cooking, enjoying each spoonful to the fullest.

"It's getting quite late Y/N and Lord Heisenberg is one to rise early, I suggest you go to bed or you end up feeling too tired tomorrow"

"Yeah...thanks for the meal Duke, I really appreciate it"

"Don't mention it and remember, the Duke's Emporium is here to satisfy all your shopping needs!"

You bid the man farewell and do the trek back to your room, taking time to memorize the way to the lift and the living quarters, the man might be a merchant but you want to get to know more about him, he seems nice, he's been the nicest one so far.

The living area feels cold and so terribly empty, there's no sign of Heisenberg anywhere, which you are thankful for. Only after entering your room and laying on your "bed", waiting a bit to hear any sound that might belong to the Lord, when only the sounds of the factory echo back to you do you dare to cry.

It starts slowly, your eyes fixated on the ceiling, then the flood gates open and you start to sob and scream, tears running down the side of your face to get lost in your hair leaving wet patches in their wake. But your crying evolves into fear, panic, raged breathing, and asking hands, all the weight of what happened today swallows you whole.

You don't know where to start, the way you growled at Heisenberg in the church, HOW he was able to move heavy metal without touching it? and all those corpses suspended ton hooks...the howls and things banging against the doors, the cruelty in how Heisenberg tossed you around and screamed in your face. How do you even managed to put and kept that brave face on when you were so scared is beyond you, you did it and that's enough.

The rapid and irregular movement of your chest does nothing but make your side hurt, the pain shoots up and down your body, making you curl on your side to alleviate the pressure if only a bit.

You want to die...but not like this, not terrified for your existence, not at the hands of a volatile man that can crush you with his hammer any day.

You want to live, but to live with your life depending on how well you perform your role? that's not a life at all.

Exhaustion and fatigue eventually take you away into a dreamless sleep, your last thought is...what's going to happen tomorrow?

You don't know, but as the Duke said, you survived whatever Miranda did to you and you will survive this too, no matter what, you will live.

[matryosika]

shoot me, chapter VI

pairing — changbin x reader

rating — 18+

genre of the overall series — smut, angst, fluff if you squint

prologue chapter I chapter II chapter III chapter IV chapter V chapter VI

word count for this chapter — 4.1 k

warnings — mentions of alcohol and emotional abuse

note — this chapter has no smut in it. still, the love-story gets completely developed here. next chapters will be filled with smut and angst so stay tuned! i haven't read this chapter because i wanted to upload it as soon as possible, so it may contain grammar mistakes. i will check it later since i have to go out with my family to have dinner! <3 hope you enjoy

taglist:@cozyblues @ahgasearmyfan @binnie-m00n @minaamhh @pinkishwen @spilledtee

*

[changbin's pov]

"so?" you asked him, modeling one of the dresses that you had previously selected from the expensive clothing shop "what do you think?"

she looks like a goddess.

"good" changbin limited to reply. "is that the last one?"

"c'mon you are not helping at all" you grunted, turning around slightly on the mirror to see the full silhouette of the dress "this might be the one, don't you think?"

i think so. i think you look perfect in all the things you have tried on, actually.

"it's alright" the dark-haired man reply "just take that one and let's get this over with"

"jesus, changbin" you whined "you are such a pain in the ass. if you were in a bad mood then you shouldn't have accepted to drive me here so i can buy a dress for the wedding"

you had been in korea for a month and 2 weeks now, your relationship with changbin growing unconciously intimate as you often engage in sexual encounters with him. you wouldn't say the both of you were close, but each day that passed by you could feel how you learned more about him just like he learned more about you too. you wouldn't consider him a good friend, since hostility made a presence every now and then between the both of you, but you had learned to spend time with him without feeling the need to put plugs into your ears and a blindfold to stop acknowledging his existence.

"if you needed help picking a dress" changbin interrupted, standing up from the seat he had been occupying for the last 45 minutes "you should've asked hyejin or ryujin to come and help you out, not me"

"hyejin is busy" you were quick to respond "ryujin had work today and you were the only other person i know that owns a car"

"cabs exist"

"yeah well" you made a pause, swallowing hard "i don't like cabs"

"you could've asked arthur to lend you his private driver" changbin tilted his head slightly.

"i get uncomfortable with strangers" you answered after a few seconds of being completely silent, changbin's gaze making you incredibly nervous.

"really?" he inquired, one of his hands traveling all the way to the pocket of his jacket as he pulled his wallet out. "why won't you just admit that you wanted to spend time with me?"

"fuck no" a grimace of disgust was quick to appear on your face "don't get confused. i would rather be dead than to spend more time with you than i already have to"

"yet you are still here" he teased "maybe i'm not as unbearable as your mind is trying to convince you i truly am"

with lazy steps he took the bunch of dresses that were piled up on the chair next to him, putting them all over his shoulder as he walked to the counter. "what are you doing?" you asked, still wearing the last dress you tried on.

"you are indecisive and i am starving" he said without even looking at you "i don't need to spend another 45 minutes here looking at how much you struggle to pick between 5 dresses, just have them all and pick one when you are alone"

you looked at him in desbelief "do you have any idea of how much just one of them cost? are you stupid?" you almost yelled in astonishment, looking at the figure of changbin slightly turning around to face you.

"i am not stupid" changbin reply "like i said, i am just hungry"

and currently thinking about how beautiful you are looking right now with that look of amazement on your pretty face. if i could, i would buy you the entire world just for you to destroy.

[y/n's pov]

"i will pay every single one of those dresses back before i leave" you mumbled, eating your food as if you had been starving for days "i had money, i didn't need you to come and rescue me as if i was some sort of damsel in distress"

"you were in distress though" he added, taking a sip of the drink he ordered "you took almost 30 minutes just to pick one dress to try on, you are really undecisive"

"yeah well, it's not like i had anywhere else to be" you replied.

"isn't arthur going to have a small gathering at his house today?" changbin inquired "like a pre-celebration of the wedding or something?"

you shrugged your shoulders "i don't know and i don't care. i am just here for the wedding and then i will be finally free"

you kept on eating your plate of food, confused as to why changbin's gaze stayed fix on you. "what, do i have something on my f-?"

"are you leaving right after the wedding?" he asked in a very hostile way, almost as if he had completely forgot that you were not going to stay forever.

"not right after but that's the main reason i came here, yeah" you replied, having a mixture of feelings inside your guts.

you couldn't deny the fact that you missed tsukuba, but living there meant to be trapped in the university dorms 24/7 just studying. but still, the lifestyle you have had for the past time was absolutely something you could get use to it: ryujin, hyejin, going out on the weekends, being free from school, changbin...

changbin?

"i still don't know the exact date though" you added "school doesn't start for me in another months so..."

"how is your life?" he asked, earning a weird look from you as you couldn't quite understand his question "in Japan, i mean"

you sighed. you had thought that living in japan was really good and you felt utterly comfortable living there until you arrived to korea and discovered a whole new life style that you had already learned to love. not only that, but leaving everything here was going to get you a bit nostalgic in the future. "it is great, better than people say it is honestly" you responded as he nodded "i live at the university dorms so life is pretty much everything but rushed. i spend my days at the library studying, i sometimes work as a shadow teacher for like 4 or 5 kids and on weekends i go and visit my mom and her partner"

"your mom got married after divorcing arthur?" changbin followed, just in time as he finished his dish of food.

"uh, it's complicated" you gave him a smile "she lives with someone and she is very happy"

"and are you?"

you were about to answer the question when you felt a pinch on your heart. a month ago you would have replied "yes" without a doubt. you thought you were happy living in japan, you thought you were happy when you visited thea, your mother, and reiko, her girlfriend. you thought you were happy when reiko made you her special coffee and you thought you were happy when they ocasionally visited you on winter nights at your dorm. you thought you were happy when you worked with children and spent time with them. you thought you were happy when you rode your bike from school to work and you thought you were happy when ryejin visited you and your mom on the holidays.

however, you had learned a new definition of happiness here.

"are you?" you fired back.

changbin slightly tilted his head as he laid completely back on his seat "i could be"

"what is exactly stopping you from being happy?" you asked him, intruiged.

"even if i explained it to you" he mumbled "i don't think you will be able to understand it"

"ah, there you are again" you scoffed, slightly rolling your eyes "your god complex has not show all day. i guess you missed it."

"c'mon" he grunted, raising his hand at one of the waiters at the restaurant "let's go somewhere else"

"where exactly?" you laughed "to your place? your car? a motel? jesus changbin, you can't really go a day without fucking, can you?"

"that's not actually what i had in mind" he replied, taking out his credit card as he saw the waiter approaching the table "but i mean if you want to fuck i won't say no"

"you had something in mind?" you asked, faking excitment "for me? you planned something for me?"

"if you want i can drop you at arthur's place right now so he can force you to have dinner with him and his bride. it's up to you"

you weren't really feeling like spending "quality time" with your father, and you also knew that hyejin was probably not going to attent the dinner, so there was no point of you being there. but at the same time, the thought of spending time with changbin doing non-sexual activities was something that it always made you nervous for an unknown reason, and you were feeling particularly nervous today.

"whatever"

*

the evening went on peacefully and that alone was unreal. he drove you to the center of seoul and suggested to take a walk around the most popular avenues because "the city looked better at night", something you have always believed too.

changbin was attractive and, even though your personalities crashed every damn time, you couldn't deny the fact that there were some sort of intimate bond going on between the both of you since that very first night at the bar. still, you wouldn't accept it. you wouldn't accept that the one person you disliked the most was starting to change your mind.

and you couldn't get yourself to trust him either. you couldn't trust any men, for that matter.

"have you thought about which dress you are going to wear tomorrow?" he asked so casually, his hands inside the pockets of his jacket as his gaze diverted from building to building.

"no" you replied, trying to get back at the trail of thoughts you had been threading since you left the restaurant with him. "have you?"

"have i thought about the dress i am going to wear tomorrow?" he laughed "i don't know, it will depend on which one you lend me"

"i got distracted" you admitted "but i will try on all the dresses tomorrow morning and i will give you the rest of them so you can return them to the store"

"i won't do that" he clicked his tongue "i bought them for you"

your heart skipped a beat after hearing those words and it was everything but pleasent.

"i don't want them"

"you can't reject a gift" he mumbled "that's the whole point of a gift"

"i will sell them on the internet" you threatened.

"do it, at the end of the day they are yours" he gave you a side look while smirking "but i wouldn't sell them if i were you. you look good in them"

"oh so you want to give opinions about the dresses now, huh?" you asked, mildly annoyed "you could've help me back at the store but you chose to be grumpy"

"at least i am helping you now"

"you are unbearable" you whispered.

a bright smile was quick to appear on his face. a genuine smile, as if he was enjoying the conversation. not only the conversation but the whole moment: you and him, walking around the city and talking about something so casual and trivial like which clothes you were going to wear tomorrow or which dress he liked best on you.

and for a moment it felt nice.

you felt safe.

"the red one was pretty" he added. you looked at him confused, once again lost in your trail of thoughts. "the red dress, the one that you tried on last"

"good" you responded "i'll make sure not to wear that one"

"you hate me that much?" he teased while a faint chuckle left his lips.

"oh changbin, you have no idea" deep down knowing it wasn't more than a vile lie.

*

you looked in the mirror one last time before you heard hyejin calling your name once again "y/n, how long will you take? i need to stop by the bakery to pick up the wedding cake"

"i'll be out in a minute" you replied, noticing how your hands got sweatier by the second.

you were quite nervous, but couldn't really understand why. maybe the sole thought of your father having his "happy ending" made you jealous because you knew that he did not deserve that at all; he didn't deserve the love he had.

the emotional abuse your mother and you suffered throughout your childhood and adolescence was not something that could be fixed in a month or two and you were certain about it. no matter how happy your father was, you couldn't help but to feel jealous about how he never had to suffer like you and your mother did.

and even though you got over your negative feelings towards him, the scars and aftermath of an abusive household still caught up on you: the mistrust, the negativity, the hostility and the lack of commitment were things you had to deal with on a daily basis.

of course he was the one to blame. but you were an adult now, and you were supposed to deal with all those issues by yourself. no one was going to fix them for you.

"jesus y/n, we are running late" hyejin busted the door open "are you ready now?"

"yes" you were quick to respond, grabbing the purse on your bed and trying to quickly divert from your sister's gaze.

"wait" she mumbled, gripping both of your shoulder as you intended to the leave the room "why are you tearing up?"

"i am not" you replied "i yawned"

she didn't look convinced, but still decided not to push any further "i'll meet you in the car, i just have to grab a few things"

you nodded and made your way through the hallway. because of how rushed she was, you didn't have a chance to tell hyejin how gorgeous she looked. she was wearing a golden shiny dress that embraced her body just fine and carrying a maching clutch with it. she was really pretty, maybe the prettiest woman you had ever seen, and not only that but she was also very smart. any guy would be head over heels for her, but she still decided not to engage in a "silly love story" as she called them because "it is a waste of her precious time, and time is money"

you wished you had the same mentality as she did, but you grew up getting educated on how love was portrayed in books, movies and television. it was ironic how you were the first person on earth to deny that love actually existed, but you were still a hopeless romantic after all.

*

[changbin's pov]

"changbin, are you too far from the church?" haeun, his mother, asked desperately as changbin picked up the phone.

"i'm right outside" he grunted "i told you i was not going to be late"

"we are sitting on the second bench at the left of the altar" the old woman added "hurry up"

changbin hung up the phone and cursed under his breath. the weather today was maybe too nice for his own liking and his clothes were a bit too uncomfortable to be wearing them under the sun.

as quickly as he could, he closed the door of his car and started walking towards the entrance, making sure that the ceremony hadn't started just yet so he wouldn't make a scene.

"did you bring the gift?" jang-yeop inquired as he sat down next to him and changbin nodded "did you also bring your mother the pair of shoes?"

"yes" he responded "how long is this going to take?"

"40-45 minutes?" his father replied "i have no idea, what time is it?"

"7:02 p.m." haeun was quick to answer "now, the both of you shut up"

right after she mumbled those words, music started to sound on the church. changbin, being in a rush to get to his seat before the ceremony started, didn't notice that arthur was already standing up next to the altar and waiting for his soon-to-be wife. changbin's gaze was fixed on arthur, then it diverted into the bride walking down the aisle and then returned to arthur once again. he never thought about marriage or building a family. hell, he never thought about having a romantic relationship that would last longer than a few months actually. but as he grew older, and as he experienced new stuff, he wasn't sure if he still had the same mentality he used to have last year.

to changbin, arthur seemed genuinely happy. his half-lidded eyes along with that bright smile he was wearing indicated that the man was living one of the happiest days of his life. and as changbin witnessed that romantic scene, the question that popped up in the conversation he had with you last night grabbed his attention once again.

what exactly is stopping me from being happy?

and before he could respond himself with words, his eyes had already found the answer: standing on the bench at the right of the altar and wearing that promising dark red dress that could drive any man insane, the woman he never dreamed of looking just as beautiful as the very first day he met her.

not being able to have her completely.

*

[y/n's pov]

after the ceremony, a big party was held at a very elegant event hall located in one of the tallest buildings of seoul. you were not particularly excited about having to see arthur's side of the family, but you still managed to keep yourself together the whole time.

"you are wearing the red dress" a sudden voice whispered into your ear as you were counting the tables that were still missing their dinner plates, an order given by hyejin. you slightly turned around to meet changbin's breath dancing on your neck and nape, goosebumps filling every single inch of your skin due to the proximity.

"congratulations" you sighed "your vision is crystal clear"

"i have been watching you since the ceremony" changbin added "i can't help but think about how pretty you are going to look when you are taking that dress off for me"

a spark of electricity traveled around your whole body and directly into your core. you immediatly looked around and notice a few people who worked for arthur's company sitting not that far away from the both of us "do you really want to do this here?" you asked "aren't you scared of being caught by any of arthur's friends?"

"are you concerned about that now?" he chuckled "that didn't seem to bother you at the company's elevator"

"c'mon" you whispered, your back slightly pressing against his chest "i have to help hyejin with some stuff"

changbin slightly gripped your hand and guided you to the dancefloor that was crowded with couples dancing around "i am sure that she can handle all of this by herself"

before you could protest, you took out your phone and sent her a message with the information she asked for. you had no idea what changbin was up to, but you still decided to follow him.

changbin positioned his hands on your waist as he gracefully dragged you across the dancefloor, looking for a spot in the middle of the crowd so it would be easier for the two of you to get lost.

"you are spending the night at my place" he mumbled over the slow songs that were now playing. it wasn't a question nor a petition, it was an order.

"yeah right" you chuckled "if you are too desperate to fuck we can do that, but i am not fond of sleepovers"

the thought of you spending the night with him was terrifying, but you would've been lying if you said that you hadn't think about what it would be like to wake up next to his him.

"i wasn't asking" he responded. "tell me when you are ready to leave".

with a swift movement, your whole body was pressed against his, his hands resting on your lowerback as you both swinged from side to side, following the rythm of the song. this was a whole new side of him that you didn't know it existed, and you couldn't deny that you were loving every second of it.

"who thaught you how to dance, huh?" you asked, your gaze fixed on his eyes that looked even brighter because of all the lights adorning the hall.

"there is so much about me that you don't know" he replied.

"oh i know everything there is to know about you, changbin" you scoffed "but let's see if you can keep surprising me"

*

it wasn't even midnight but people were already starting to get completely intoxicated with alcohol. arthur had spent the night dancing with ara and, after she was done being the unofficial wedding planner, hyejin ended up getting wasted with the small group of friends she invited to the wedding. you, on the other hand, spent the night dancing with changbin and eating your dinner with him.

it was not unusual to see the both of you together since you spent too much time at the company, but tonight it was sort of different. the looks he gave you, the way you two danced for hours on end, the way he was treating you... it felt different, a little bit more personal and intimate. his parents probably noticed this too, since they made a lof of comments about "how happy they were about us being really good friends". if only they knew.

"i think i am ready" you said to changbin after telling hyejin that you were going to spend the night somewhere else. she nodded her head and agreed to say, if asked, that "you were at ryujin's" even when she wasn't invited to the wedding in the first place. you just smiled at her and nodded, not leaving without telling one of her sober friends to look out for her.

"don't worry" the pretty pale girl mumbled "she will stay at my house tonight"

you glanced over to arthur and ara who were still having the greatest time of their lives on the dancefloor, and proceeded to walk away from the party with changbin. "you parents will stay here?"

"yeah, they will leave in an hour or so" changbin replied "i told them that you wanted to go home and that i was going to drive you"

"perks of living alone i guess" you joked.

the walk through the empty corridors of the building felt eerie as the loud sound of the music were still ringing in your ears. even though you were walking on your own, you could still feel changbin's ablazing touch on your body and that only provoked your heartbeat to go even faster.

as you waited for the elevator to open their doors, changbin's lips unexpectedly crashed against yours. it wasn't a passionate kiss, and it wasn't rushed either. it was just a kiss, an innocent kiss, a kiss you give to your significant other as a demostration of how much you love them. his soft lips dragged against yours as his teeth bite softly your bottom lip, earning a small whine from you. his hands, that were now located into your waist, guided you to the insides of the elevator once the doors were opened.

"you look so beautiful tonight" he whispered interrupting, his breathing getting faster each second that passed by "i can't get you out of my head"

his lips left yours to meet the sensitive spots on your neck, peppering soft kisses all over the surface. your gaze found the reflection of the scene in the mirror of the elevator, looking at how changbin was tasting every inch of your skin with his eyes closed, his rushed hands traveling all the way from your waist to your lower back trying to memorize every single trace of your body.

"i don't want to hurt you tonight" he continued "no roughness, no pain, no petnames. i want to make you completely mine, in the most pure way"

and for the night, you agreed to let your feelings out and let go.

no fear and no mistrust, you were ready to face the overwhelming feelings that had been building up inside you since the day you met him.

even if you could potentially regret it later...

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

it wasn’t power i coveted; it was acceptance.

Titans 3.06

y’know, i was just thinking the other day that 1.06/1.07 and 2.06/2.07 were the best episodes of their respective seasons, so i have great hopes going in to this one. fingers crossed!

as always, typing this up as i see the episode.

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. oh! um... that was a Cold Open, all right. *nudges* get it? cold? because it’s snowing? and two people got murdered in cold blood? eh?

... oh, i’ve just started.

1.5. i wonder if “i want to be sipping pina coladas on a beach with you” is the new “i’m just one day away from retiring.” i was so on edge after that--i kept expecting that car to explode. even so, the way they died wasn’t an anticlimax: brutal, and quick. 

1.75. so i’m assuming that’s the titular lady vic! this show better bring up why this doll was important or why these two cops needed to be killed, and not leave it to the ether like jericho’s little mindscape jaunt in 2.08 (i’m still dying to know what that was about???)

2.

i love how deliberately unappealing wayne manor is. 

(sorry for the pic quality. i don’t have hbo max! ssshhh.)

2.3. i love the many references to “home” and “our house” when they’ve been here for less than a week and saw one of their friends get blown into pieces. i mean, i unironically love it: home is where family is, after all!

2.5. i’d like to say that kom is playing some sort of long game here, especially given the build-up we had last season and some of the more niggling details this season: why did kom choose now to use her bond to lure kory when she’s been on earth for months? why did justin call kory now, just around the time that she started getting kom’s visions? and what about kom’s ability to exactly imitate other people? hmmm.

2.75. the reason i wrote i’d like to say is that i’ve made the mistake of assuming plot complexity where there is none; i was so invested in the jason todd orchestrated his own death theory for instance, when it turns out that oops! ra’s al ghul just happened to leave a little lazarus puddle in gotham, and oh yeah! scarecrow just happens to have a network of henchmen working for him on the outside and a fully functional laboratory and a weapons cache fit for a new supervillain in the basement of the high security psychiatric unit/prison that he’s in! 

(no i’m not bitter, why do you ask)

2.8. iiiii don’t know what to say about the implications of sex slavery being a thing on tamaran, so i’m not going to say anything at all. for now.

3. gotham, six years ago... wasn’t it five years before s2 that jericho died and the titans disbanded? and when was the flashback from 1.06 where dick let zucco die? i think it was after the events of 2.08: jericho? i can’t seem to find any transcripts or reliable information online, so i’m going to have to rewatch 1.06 at some point. 

(i love the old-fashioned batman music in this heist scene)

3.5. “security is a joke... it’s my way of keeping my dad on his toes”. what you’re an ethical thief now, like an ethical hacker? i don’t think that excuse is going to sell, barbara, on the day you do encounter a decent security system and your father is forced to arrest you.

(then again, gotham’s security is piss-poor. did you know that you could just walk into arkham asylum without any official clearance, ply one of its most dangerous inhabitants with contraband, and said inmate could get away with having an entire laboratory and weapons cache--NO I’M NOT GOING TO LET THIS GO)

3.8 so that flashback between dick and barbara was really cute! and also illuminating:

a) dick sounds so light, so... um. look. i have some apologies to tender to mr thwaites, because while i’ve always thought he does a fine job as dick grayson, i’ve never been terribly fond of his cadence as he delivers dialogue. it’s often monotonous, i thought, but then again, he’s usually delivering exposition or dealing with one soul-crushing crisis or the other. so i was pleasantly surprised to hear dick sound so carefree and alive in his conversation with barbara, laughing frequently, his emotions so bare and bubbling to the surface. it’s really a fantastic contrast to the traumatised and world-weary dick grayson that we see now, even more so than the costume department just bunging a backwards-baseball cap on mr thwaites’ head and hoping that will convince us of his relative youth. 

b) and god, when he wakes up from that memory, all alone in his bed, bleeding from bullet holes in his shoulder (bullet holes that are--in a somewhat convoluted way--barbara’s fault)? yikes. it’s great. you have my apologies, mr thwaites!

c) can you imagine dick just... crawling back to wayne manor, trying not to be seen by anybody, shedding his suit and just... collapsing onto his bed without even tending to his wound? the sheer emotional and physical exhaustion of it? 

d) it’s so interesting to see how barbara and dick approach the idea of legacy--a big theme on the show!--in this flashback. barbara is the one bucking the idea that she should follow in her father’s footsteps, while dick seems pretty content with the batman-and-robin setup, and even tries to get barbara to join their team (robin-girl. pfffft). obviously after this several traumatic things happen wherein dick ends up questioning and then resenting his role as robin, his relationship with batman or even returning as a vigilante at all. and barbara... ends up replacing her father as commissioner. it’s tragic, really. 

e) the dynamic between dick and barbara in the flashback reminds me of how it was between dick and donna in 1.08 and even between kory and dick in early s1. it’s like having an older, strong-willed woman by his side means he gives over the steering wheel for a while and lets himself... unspool, a little bit. it’s kinda endearing.

also:

*pinches his cheeks*

3. you know, we talk about dick and Eldest Daughter Syndrome, and that’s definitely valid, but here gar seems to me the embodiment of it, with all the emotional gardening and firefighting that he’s expected to do. he’s kind of the guy expected to keep his shit together and take care of everyone else while they are falling completely to pieces, unable to carve out time to process his own trauma. he’s also picked up dick’s and kory’s tendencies to bottle up their struggles and shun appearing vulnerable, and he’s struggling in the shadow of both dick and kory undergoing acute crises, his best friend (and frequent confidante) on the other side of the world, and seeing hank die, utterly helpless to stop it. 

i’m glad that he got a chance to tell dick even a smidgeon of what he really feels, and i hope this is at least a semblance of a wake up call for dick to actually sit down and work with the people he repeatedly calls family.

3.5. it’s heartening to see that dick immediately makes it his priority to go talk to gar. but don’t blow off kory in the process, man!

4. i’m really loving this dynamic between kom and conner--i get the idea that both of them consider each other as Unknowns, alien two times over. but conner’s only ever known the titans, who embrace being different, and kom’s only ever known... well. 

anyway, kory is Really Stressed, and honestly? #relatable. 

when you’re forced to bring an estranged family member to hang out with your friends...

4.5. i love that the titans are spending so much time in the kitchen. a real family!

5. jonathan crane is a creep and i absolutely cannot stand him.

5.25. how did he get a whole lab setup (in the basement of a hospital...?) with a bunch of whitecoats to work for him? how did he just waltz into the viewing room of an operation theatre when he’s one of the most wanted men in gotham right now? why is jason wandering around maskless when--presumably--as the adopted son of the most famous person in gotham he’d be a tad more recognisable than your average joe?

why do i expect this show to answer anything anymore?

5.5. that’s not necessarily a criticism, mind; i’ve said since season 1 that titans is very comics-like in this aspect, all about the Aesthetic and the splash-page splendour rather than the niggling unimportant details of how or when the characters got to said location. like. the camera gliding over the operation being set-up, lady vic bursting in and doing her murder dance (imagine the luck of the poor intern who chose this day and this surgery to assist) and jason, shocked and slack-jawed, framed by blood.

5.75. it’s a sobering reminder for jason that, though he chose this path in order to gain control over a world that seemed like it was rapidly spinning out of his grip, he’s only succeeded in handing over even more control to a man with an agenda that is very clearly not aligned with his own. he’s in too far to stop now, though.

5.9. i have a lot more thoughts about jason! saving it up for the end of this recap, though.

6. more kitchen time! i better see dick do some cooking soon...

(”our kitchen”! it still delights me! kitchens are So Important)

6.25. so much of dick’s issues have revolved around his relationship with bruce, so it’s completely understandable that in the wake of a huge crisis where bruce literally asks dick to replace him and be a “better” him, dick would default to all the worst things he learned from the man. and i’m glad kory’s having none of it, but come on, guys. the woman’s literally fetched her fratricidal sister out of a hole in the ground with no idea what said sister is going to do next and experiencing a burgeoning sense of guilt far, far beyond her history with the titans, and dick’s too far into his autocolonoscopy that he can’t see that she needs help.

6.5. “he services your urges”--well, as far as we know, kory is the last person he had sex with...

7. “i hope [gar] isn’t angry with me...” SIR! i thought you’d already spoken to him! smh, as the kids say. kory wouldn’t be needing to reassure you if you just took the effort to build two way emotional relationships with the rest of the team. @superohclair​ was taking about dick’s relatively low emotional intelligence? i agree.

7.5. “i got my own problems [...] you and barbara? fix it.” YOU TELL HIM, KORY

8. man i really like this weird, sad tension between dick and barbara--this sense that both of them are approaching the other based on how they remember them and are ultimately disappointed by the truth. barbara thought she could trust dick to... well, be a better batman, but dick has not only failed at that in her eyes, but repeatedly undermined her while exploiting the authority that she gave him. in dick’s eyes, this is nothing like the barbara that he knew, rebellious and ready to do whatever it takes to find something. 

like. this show sometimes really hits me in the chest about the ways it shows kids grow into adults and into caretakers, and the way it’s stop-start, the ways nothing can happen at all for a long time and then it’s Crisis Central all at once and there’s no space to breathe. the weird sort of sadness that comes with nostalgia. 

8.5. oracle name drop! i agree with barbara, any system that can just randomly tap into gotham phonelines is a monster.

8.7. (i don’t know if it’s my imagination, but is dick holding himself... differently in this episode? like that wound is definitely bothering him, and he’s running on fumes)

9. man, that was a really sweet scene between kom and conner. “feeling alien in your own world”... “not quite here nor there”

honestly this team runs on conner and gar’s faith in their value as a family, and it’s a sign of conner’s generous heart that he extends that opportunity to blackfire. this arc of maturation for him, where he’s now able to consciously choose which parts of himself he can use to do the thing he wants to so--save people--has been so fulfilling to recognise. this baby’s grown with the titans! and what he’s learnt is that people can get fucked up, but the titans is a place where they can be fucked up, and grow.

MY MAN CONNER

10. oh man i’m drinking in the gar-dick interaction in this episode like i’m three days into the desert and it’s the only source of water for miles around!

a) gar is absolutely not dealing with dick’s bullshit this episode and I LOVE IT. it’s such a far cry from the man who was idolising dick/robin back in s1 and expecting him to solve all their problems. dick is fallible, dick is fucked up, but he Tries His Best and that’s ok.

b) dick, huffing and puffing through that vent, unable to put any pressure on his left shoulder, trying to have a heart to heart with gar... fuck i love this asshole. 

c) bruce took in a kid who was suffering... “and made him into a weapon”. well. i absolutely agree with dick that it was bruce who put these kids into these horrible situations with him and they came away with a bucketload of trauma to add to the one that they already had. but we know that bruce was really trying with jason, and at the end of s2, dick was coming to acknowledge that bruce had offered him something that wasn’t just darkness. jason’s death and bruce’s reaction to that shattered that fragile progress.

d) “gotham got to me too.” i feel more sympathetic towards dick running off on his own than most, and it’s not just because i’m an unapologetic stan.  we’ve seen before that dick... devolves when overwhelmed, and he lashes out and makes ill thought out decisions and just Does Not Deal. it happened after hearing the news that deathstroke had returned in s2, and it didn’t help that everyone around him was reeling at the news, either. this time, however, he has his salvation in his family, and despite some stupid decisions like running off and kidnapping supervillains without telling his team, he’s been really on the ball this season. thinking clearly and logically, holding it together and working on a plan, thinking two steps ahead of the villains... yes.

e) gar needing to believe that jason isn’t beyond redemption... there’s a lot of blood on his hands, too, from when he was manipulated by cadmus last season. it makes sense why he’d relate to jason’s predicament, and i hope dick picked up on that.

f) my head just added a plaintive ow after dick jumped feet first into the storage room

i need, crave gifs of this scene!

11. *sits on hands* i’m going to talk more about red hood, i promise!

12. more gar and dick! is it my birthday??!!

(actually, according to the tamil calendar, it is my birthday! my “star” birthday)

12.5. excellent. dick using some implausible training that bruce taught him to solve a mystery? passing some of that knowledge onto gar? that proud smile when he sees gar perfectly execute moves that he taught him? MY HEART IS EXPLODING

13. aw, i love flashback!dick and barbara, they’re so cute <3

13.25. why does it not surprise me that the way he proposes a relationship to barbara is by saying “we make sense”? this guy can deduce exactly who was present where and what weapon they were holding from a garbled audio recording but other times he’s utterly clueless, and that’s a consistent character beat right from s1

13.5. so.... that’s why lady vic has it out for... barbara....? i don’t get it. it’s flimsy. but hey! the fun thing about titans is that i don’t have to get it. the payoff has nothing to do with the plot.

14. i can’t believe that barbara fell for that, but at least that wheelchair fight looked awesome, so.

15. oh yeah, i forgot that red hood bullied the mob into helping him and scarecrow... at least that explains the whitecoats and the elaborate set-up.

15.5. honestly i love how this dynamic between kory and kom is developing, though i wish more of the team would pay attention to it. time to call justin, i think!

16. i wonder what happened after that second flashback where barbara got hurt during that heist. did she give up on doing any more (maybe jim caught her)? was it because dick was called away by bruce and then the titans and got caught up in his own issues? maybe barbara froze him out because she wasn’t looking for the relationship that he was looking for? maybe the idea of doing that with someone turning into batman-lite was just... unappealing? scary?

whatever it is, it doesn’t look like dick ever processed the end of that relationship. it’s very intriguing to see where their dynamic goes next.

17. so.... what, did vic deliver some fear toxin to barbara? i... what?

17.5. and i TOLD YOU that they would never explain that doll or why vic attacked those two cops at the beginning! oh, titans. never change. 

18. did jason just randomly have tim’s restaurant burgled? god, i’m feeling a bit nauseous... are they going to kill tim’s father?

18.25. i feel like the rest of the season is going to wrestle with jason’s culpability in the horrible stuff he’s doing and i’m already seeing that prospect divide fans. on one hand, his story is taking a lot of oxygen away from other equally interesting story arcs, and he’s done some truly awful things, like indiscriminate murder, threatening to kill children, blowing up hank, and potentially killing tim’s parents. 

there’s something to be said for the kind of hold that crane has over him, and the so-called ‘anti-fear’ drug that he keeps plying jason with--he’s alone, drugged almost constantly (to the level of dependence), fresh from the trauma of being bludgeoned to death. he hasn’t conquered fear; he’s ruled by it. on the other hand, given that he’s the one character on the show given an obvious and identifiable ‘mental illness’ arc (maaaaybe dick too), one can argue that it’s irresponsible to show this progress into such violence: jason was vulnerable because he was struggling, and that left him vulnerable, but it took only a push before he became a fucking serial killer.

but that could mean we underestimate the degree of that vulnerability, and the mechanics of this universe where he fell into the clutches of the one supervillain perfectly designed to exploit that vulnerability. that helpless spiral into further and further self-destruction is all too real. it’s valuable to know that someone who has sunk that low can still seek help--actual help--and get it. 

18.5. i don’t know. it’s not a question i’m going to resolve at the end of an overlong recap at 1 in the morning. i don’t believe it’s even a question that titans can resolve. but i am interested in where they’re going next with jason.

19. this episode was genuinely great! i’m pumped for the rest of the season!

[ladylynse]

Your ideal Harry Potter × Encanto Crossovers?

Also Isabella and Neville, could they have worked as a pairing?

I wouldn't necessarily say ideal, because I haven't thought about it enough to come up with a perfect story I'd love to read, but for how I'd be tempted to write it?

I'd use Bill Weasley as my main HP character.

With some worldbuilding, I could find a way to get him from Egypt to Columbia. Is it a chance at a promotion? Is it a job no one else wants? Is it something he's recommended for? In the end, that doesn't matter, as long as it's incentive enough for Bill to accept the job. (What follows is some worldbuilding I’d figure out for myself and work into fic with offhand comments if it makes it at all.)

The job, incidentally?

A location has been identified that is stubbornly cloaked to outside eyes and interfering magic. Discovery spells into the nature of the concealment are coming up with nothing. It might not be cursed, but no one is particularly willing to find out by assuming it's not, so an expert is called in. Is Bill an expert in the magic in this region? No. But he is reliable, willing to travel, great with curses even if most of his experience relates to Egyptian curses, and not afraid to take a bit of a risk. He's also significantly cheaper than an actual expert, the mediocre person with more knowledge of magic in the region who had previously been assigned this task already failed miserably, and the person in charge of this project is both looking to cut corners in any way possible and trying to keep this whole expedition on the down low. (If someone famed in the field has this blow in their face, it's a lot harder to cover up.)

Officially, he's supposed to distill the complex spell to its components and then weave the appropriate counterspells to begin breaking it down without triggering any defensive magic--and since it's safe to assume he will trigger defensive magic at some point, getting out of that with minimal repercussions. If he finds a treasure trove on the other side, well, then politics get involved, and that's someone else's job. He's drawn to the challenge, the mystery, not the dry bargaining of loans to display artefacts and whatever else. (I will freely admit I'd need to do research to come up with potential speculation for what they might find.)

Trouble is, this magic isn't like any that Bill has encountered before. He's got a bunch of books with him, and it's not like he didn't do research into the magic that’s prevalent in this part of the world, but nothing fits. He's trying to understand it, and he can't.

But then it starts to break down, and even though he's fairly certain it's not his doing, he takes advantage of it.

Which leads him to stumbling towards the village as they’re rebuilding after the events of the movie, feeling this swelling of magic he can’t explain, like he’s being swept along in a current, only the tide starts to turn and sweep him back away, and he has to fight to get out of its pull before he retraces his steps completely. 

Dolores is distracted, so it takes her a while to realize what she’s hearing and that it’s not a familiar pattern of footsteps. They’ve just come through one disaster and she doesn’t want to be the harbinger of another, but she can’t help flinching at every unfamiliar cough or quiet curse. She’s gotten much better about tuning out that sort of thing, keeping the world to a constant, bearable buzz on the edge of her consciousness when she’s not talking to someone or actively eavesdropping, but the wrongness of this is eventually enough to cut through all that. Keeping quiet about all this isn’t in anyone’s best interest, which is just as well, because she’s not sure she’d have been able to keep it a secret.

Alma asks Antonio to send some animals out to scout, since Dolores isn’t sure where the stranger is (for it must be a stranger), and the others argue about discuss their options. The village just helped them rebuild. The magic is back. Alarming everyone again with the truth is hardly preferable, though Pepa can’t keep what she’s feeling under wraps. 

Mirabel is the first one to ask Bruno if he knows what’s going on, as Bruno has been doing his best to fade into the background because it’s a question he dreads.

No one ever seems to like what he tells them, and he doubts this time will be different.

And I’d build the fic out from there. I’d pull a similar route with Charlie, sending him to Columbia to look for dragons to tag and observe (again, I’d need to do research so I could fake my offhand comments better), but I’d lean a little more into Antonio’s communication with animals off the start to feed into the initial crossover. (Just because none of them have seen a dragon, doesn’t mean they don’t exist; all the animals know about them, and wouldn’t it be something to see a dragon? He has to go looking. He doesn’t want to harm them--he won’t even tell the others if he has any inkling that someone might try--but he wants to make friends.)

As far as Isabela and Neville goes, I could see an argument being made for it. (I have no personal preference either way.) They both know the pressure of family expectations and needing to be perfect; Isabela was merely better at constructing that perfect illusion than Neville ever was. Even at the bare minimum, they’d bond over plants in a heartbeat and could be competitive, trying to best the other, with Isabela stretching her powers and Neville eagerly naming every one, even when she makes it more and more difficult by producing increasingly rare species. Trevor would be a shining endorsement when it came to speaking to Neville’s character (I’m pretty sure Trevor lives through all the books?), helpfully translated by Antonio, so Isabela would have some assurances that he’s not just after a pretty face. He sees her for her, something that was increasing rare when she was growing up and perfecting her mask. Besides, it’s not like they wouldn’t have things to talk about or that they wouldn’t feasibly enjoy spending time with each other, and a good writer can use that as a basis to build up a believable relationship between them. 

(more musings)

[five-rivers]

Long Night in the Valley Chapter 13

The car didn’t seem more crowded, but it was. Spinner had the dubious honor and privilege of being in one of Mr. Compress’s marbles, along with the doctor. Midoriya Inko sat in his recently vacated seat.

She was, without a single doubt, the most dangerous person in the vehicle. Mostly because she was completely insane. She had spent the first few minutes of driving detailing how she could blow up the car with her quirk and making sure that they knew she’d do it if she thought she had to.

What would make her think she ‘had to’ was a mystery Tomura didn’t particularly want solved.

He could totally see what Sensei saw in her, and he didn’t like it. He wished he could go back to ignorance. This questline was insane. The whole game was going to wind up broken. Had he killed an essential NPC at some point?

Eyeballs were small objects. So were most organs.

Midoriya Inko was someone Tomura could respect.

Would Midoriya Izuku be like this, if Tomura had an actual conversation with him? Their conversation at the mall hadn’t exactly been… normal. Tomura could admit he’d been using his intimidation skill to move the conversation along. Of course, Midoriya had struck him as a two-dimensional All Might fanboy at that point. Limited dialogue options. Killed in the next encounter. A hidden miniboss, yes, but just a miniboss. Not terribly important to the main campaign. Forgotten by disc two.

Clearly, he’d been wrong.

Which he shouldn’t have had mixed feelings about, but definitely did.

“Dear,” said Midoriya Inko, making everyone in the car stiffen, “do you have eczema?”

“The what?” asked Tomura, his tone too subdued to be considered snapping, because he wasn’t about to snap at someone who had convincingly demonstrated her ability to crush his organs against the inside of his abdominal cavity.

“Oh!” said Toga. “I know this one, Mom! It’s a skin condition.”

Tomura pulled his hand away from where it had been scratching at his neck. “I don’t have a skin condition. It just itches sometimes.”

Midoriya Inko nodded. “Yes, that sounds like eczema, I—” She stopped, blinking. “Did you just call me ‘Mom?’”

“Yeah, is that okay? Izu-kun and I are dating, after all!”

“No, she isn’t!” shouted Twice, the car swerving a little. “She is not! Only in her dreams!”

“Ah,” said Midoriya Inko. “I see. Well, I don’t mind you calling me that, but I think you really need to ask Izuku before you say that you’re dating. Make sure you’re on the same page, dear.”

Toga pouted.

“Now, where was I? Eczema. Izuku used to have eczema, but he grew out of it, mostly. I still carry some cream with me. Do you want some?”

Would refusing be dangerous?

Was the cream secretly poison?

Was this a complex scheme to get under his skin?

“Oh, Izuku mutters like that, too,” said Midoriya Inko, happily. “You remind me quite a bit of when he was going through his antisocial phase, actually. It would be funny if it turned out that you were related, wouldn’t it? Quite a coincidence, hm? One I’ll have to talk to my husband about.” The last sentence was as hard as diamonds and as poisonous as cyanide.

Tomura once again decided that he regretted everything.

.

“This is terrible,” whispered Tsuyu for the fifth or sixth time.

“Tres mal,” agreed Aoyama.

“Is it bad that I can completely believe All Might wrote this?” asked Satou.

“Why would it be bad?” asked Shouji.

“Because it’s so… bad.”

“And yet,” said Yaoyorozu, “oddly compelling.”

“Why does he use so much English?” grumbled Mineta.

“What a mad banquet of darkness,” said Fumikage, who was, nevertheless, also reading the fanfic on his phone.

“But, like, it makes it pretty obvious that All Might thinks the world of Midoriya,” said Kaminari. “Do you think he knew that other people could read this?”

“I mean,” said Jiro. “He had to, right? It wasn’t like he was born in the nineteen hundreds.”

“I don’t know, sometimes you’ve got to wonder. Like… sometimes it’s as if he was grown in a lab to be the perfect hero, you know?”

“Kaminari, stop trying to be Todoroki, please,” said Fumikage. “You do not need to dip yourself into the darkness.”

“I’m just saying,” said Kaminari. “And it isn’t as if we don’t know that there are a bunch of mad scientist types that would do just that, plus the Hero Commission is psychotic—”

“That’s unkind to psychotic people,” said Fumikage, glowering. “You know, most psychotic people never hurt anyone. The incidence of villainy among people who experience psychosis isn’t significantly higher than among the general population.”

“Sorry, man, just a figure of speech.”

The bus slowly came to a stop outside UA’s gates.

“My switch isn’t working,” said Green Light as he repeatedly pressed a button on his dash. “I guess they’re still on lockdown. We’ll have to wait for Nezu to come let us in.”

“Still?” asked Midnight. “Midoriya isn’t even in the city anymore, as far as we know.”

“Not that he was ever a threat to the school,” mumbled Present Mic, his quirk making him loud enough to be heard regardless.

Fumikage, having finished the fanfic some time ago, looked out the window and spotted two people in suits loitering near the gate. “Yamada-sensei, Kayama-sensei, who are those people?”

Everyone rushed over to Fumikage’s side of the bus to look out the window, rocking the vehicle.

“Ohh,” said Present Mic. “Yeah. That makes sense. Those guys are with the commission. Yep. Good ol’ Nezu, keeping them out.”

“Wait,” said Jiro, “does this mean we’re stuck out here, too?”

“No, no,” said Present Mic. “He’ll have to let us in… But then they’ll come in, too.”

“Midoriya’s room,” said Fumikage. “They’ll want to search it.”

“Can we do something?” asked Kouda, timidly.

“Should we do anything?” asked Tsuyu, bluntly. “We don’t want to incriminate Midoriya even more by making it look like he’s hiding things.”

Fumikage turned to Kaminari. “Anything new from Principal Nezu?”

“Why are you looking at me?”

“You’re the one he emailed last time.”

“Hey, Fumikage,” said Jiro, “do you think you can fly over the wall? Maybe you can get a head start on… well, whatever, I guess.”

“I don’t think we should do anything suspicious while they’re watching,” reiterated Tsuyu.

“Yeah, plus we really revamped campus security. And this is Nezu we’re talking about.”

“The Rat God,” someone whispered, reverently.

(Was that Shouji?)

“Exactly, exactly,” said Present Mic. “So, everyone, just, please, calm down. Just sit back down, and we’ll ride the bus to the dorms. Like normal.”

“Yamada-sensei, nothing about this is normal,” said Tsuyu, flatly.

“Well,” said Present Mic, “yeaaaah, okay, you got me there, listeners.”

“Nezu’s coming up,” said Green Light. “Aw, he has Eri with him. They’re so short together.”

“Green Light,” crackled the radio in Nezu’s voice. “Did you forget that I have cameras and microphones installed on all our buses?”

“That’s how he knew I was the one putting together the compilation!” said Kaminari.

Fumikage peered out the window and furtively opened it, so they could hear what was going on. Eri was definitely there. She was also sporting the deepest, most dismal, aura of darkness Fumikage had ever laid eyes on. Luckily, it seemed to be aimed at the commission lackeys in the form of a smile and dead, dead eyes.

“Good afternoon, gentlemen!” said Nezu, cheerily. “I apologize for the long wait! As Lunch Rush indubitably told you, we had a small emergency.”

“We’ve been out here for hours. What kind of emergency could have kept you for hours under these circumstances?”

Eri’s smile grew both broader and deader. “Me,” she said. “I’m the emergenny.”

“Emergency,” corrected Nezu, gently.

“Emergency,” repeated Eri.

“I’m sorry?” said the shorter of the two investigators.

“I’m the emergency. I hada—” she paused, and her face pinched slightly in concentration. “I had an emergency, because, because, you’re being mean to Deku.”

“We—”

“You’re mean,” insisted Eri. “You’re bad guys. Deku is the good guy, because he saved me. Only bad guys are mean to good guys.”

“Excuse me, is this Chisaki Eri?”

Eri hissed.

“Perhaps I could ask you to refrain from using that family name. We’ve been trying to get past what her form did to her, you understand. Teach her morality.”

“I’ll bite you,” said Eri, malevolently.

“Self-defense, as well,” continued Nezu. “It’s very important for children to be able to feel safe and confident in themselves, don’t you think? And the recent news dealt a serious blow to that. You understand, then why I felt that it was more important to take care of my ward and other students than to greet you here. Especially given that you wished to interview Eri-chan as well.”

“I’ll bite you,” repeated Eri. “A lot.”

“We’ll… need a look at Midoriya’s room, first.”

“Way to go, Eri,” whispered Shinsou.

“Very well! You’ll have to come around to the front office to fill out some paperwork. We’ll need a physical copy of your badges, as well as a copy of your warrant, for our records…”

The gate opened, distracting Fumikage from whatever else Nezu had said. Green Light quickly drove through, making straight to the dorms. Fumikage snapped the window shut.

“So, uh,” said Kaminari. “What’re we going to do about Midoriya’s All Might shrine of a room?”

“Should we even do anything?” asked Jiro. “If stuff is disturbed, that’s going to be suspicious. I don’t want to get him into more trouble.”

“It’s a teenage boy’s bedroom,” said Mineta. “The stuff in there is already disturbed.”

“Mineta, I don’t know how to tell you this,” said Kaminari, “but your experiences are not universal.”

“None of you are disturbing Midoriya’s room at all,” said Midnight, standing. “You didn’t forget that we were here, did you? If you say yes, we’ll have to take some time to work on your situational awareness~”

.

Nemuri hadn’t quite known what to expect from the words ‘All Might shrine.’ In her experiences, the word ‘shrine’ could, especially when applied to a person’s hobby or area of interest, could cover a vast array of displays of varying intensity.

But Midoriya really went Plus Ultra on everything, didn’t he?

“Okay, kiddos,” said Midnight, “what would you say was the most incriminating thing in this room?”

She and Present Mic were the only ones actually in the room, but the students were gathered right outside the door.

“Notebooks.”

Midnight nodded. They’d get those first, then search for other places Midoriya may have put evidence of less-than-entirely-morally-upright behavior. Not that Midnight really expected to find any.

“Where does he keep them?” she asked.

“He has a shelf above his desk he usually keeps them on, kero.”

Midnight looked at the shelf above Midoriya’s desk.

It looked back at her.

This was because it was a void. As in, void of any notebooks. An abyss of sorts. Empty.

There were no notebooks in evidence.

“This will be a problem.”

.

“G-Gigantomachia?” asked Izuku, turning up the sweetness in his tone despite his nerves. And pain. Yep, there was a whole lot of pain, everywhere. Now that he was no longer actively running for his life, it felt like he’d pulled every muscle in his body.

“Yes, Little Lord?” asked Gigantomachia, happily.

He was like a giant dog. Izuku almost felt bad tricking him like this, but he reminded himself that Gigantomachia was a giant, evil dog. So.

“Will you do something for me?”

“Of course, Little Lord!”

“Well,” said Izuku, “you remember how I said that Shigaraki Tomura and I don’t get along?”

“Yes, Little Lord! My memory is very good!”

Izuku blinked. “Is that a—” He cut himself off with a shake of his head. Not the time. “Well, I think that it might be a good idea if, ah, we established that he can’t attack me anymore.”

Gigantomachia stood up, shaking the earth and almost sending Izuku tumbling down. “HE ATTACKED YOU?”

Maybe this would be easier than he thought. “Yeah. A couple times. I’m okay, though!” He waved his hands. “I just think that it might be a good idea if we established a, uh, a pecking order. Sort of.”

“I’M GOING TO PECK HIM TO DEATH.”

“Please do not actually kill him.”

“I’M GOING TO PECK HIM MOSTLY TO DEATH.”

“That’s the spirit,” said Izuku.

“I’LL SHOW HIM YOU’RE IN CHARGE. YOU’RE MUCH BETTER THAN HE IS. MUCH MORE LIKE LORD.”

Wow. That was… certainly a statement. That Izuku was going to try his best to forget forever.

“Right. So. If you see him, do that,” said Izuku, nodding.

“OF COURSE, LITTLE LORD.”

“And, this is just a reminder, but don’t go into towns.”

“I WILL REMEMBER!”

“Great,” said Izuku. “I’m going to go back in and, uh…” He couldn’t say ‘plot my escape with Toshinori.’ “Rest,” he settled on.

“Oh!” Gigantomachia crouched down, his voice suddenly whisper-soft. Assuming rocks could be described as whispering. “Sleep well, Little Lord!”

“Thanks,” said Izuku, beating a hasty retreat.

.

“Stop the car!”

“But you said-!”

“Just stop the car, Twice.”

There was a not-at-all hidden ‘or else’ in those words. Twice, once again, stopped the car.

“Oh, my,” said Midoriya Inko, leaning forward. “That man up there looks remarkably like the sitter Hisashi hired for Izuku.”

“Oh, god,” said Tomura, dragging his hands down the sides of his face in lieu of looking out the window. “We aren’t prepared for this level.”

Midoriya Inko suddenly disappeared. Tomura made a noise in the back of his throat that wasn’t at all a scream.

Mr. Compress raised his hands defensively. “I thought it best to marble her while she was distracted. We wouldn’t want her to get injured in ”

“Wow! Way to go, Mr. Compress!” said Toga, giving the other villain a hug. “Good thinking!”

“Yeah!” agreed Twice. “Now she can’t hurt us—But she sure can when you let her out!”

“Which is why I propose we bring her to Giran at the first feasible opportunity. Between him and the doctor, I’m sure they can make arrangements for her that we need not be involved in. And I will make sure we are all far, far away when I let her out.”

There was a series of sighs of relief.

“Good idea,” croaked Tomura. “But what are we going to do about—” He swore vehemently. “He’s seen us, he’s seen us we’ve got aggro! Reverse!”

.

“Is that Vlad-sensei’s car?”

“Unfortunately,” said Toshinori, “I think it is. Oh, dear, the man’s one to hold a grudge. I think I’ll have a new nemesis by the end of this.”

.

Today had been a very annoying day in general for Vlad King, but for some reason, his sense of annoyance suddenly doubled. This made his hands clench and thereby tear the piece of paper he was holding.

Scratch that. His sense of annoyance had tripled.

“Yagi,” he muttered, “I am going to sue you so much.”

“What was that?” asked Hound Dog, looking away from the video feed displaying Eri-chan scarring Hero Commission agents for life in her undeniably cute way.

“Nothing,” muttered Vlad.

.

All for One paused in his assault of the vault door. He couldn’t help but feel like someone somewhere had said something unusually aggravating.

Ah, well. He had other things to worry about.

.

“Ah,” said Toshinori as one of Gigantomachia’s fists tore off the bumper of the rapidly reversing car. “Hm,” he continued as Shigaraki climbed out on the hood, grinning. “I think we should go, now.”

Izuku nodded. They could only hope to get far away enough away for Gigantomachia to be unable to hunt them down.

If they ran into any other problems…

.

Dabi paused as he heard quite a lot of noise from up ahead and rolled his eyes, ignoring how the movement pulled at his staples. The idiots had already started fighting Gigantomachia. Well. He didn’t want any part of that.

He changed directions. Hanging out in the woods it was, then.

Eh. It was good for him. Fresh (cold) air. Sunshine (sort of). Readily available reminders of why he hated his father.

Nature was great. If only he could burn it all down without blowing cover.

.

“Oh, no,” said a hapless technician.

“What?” asked the commission supervisor who’d brough the sample to the lab. “What is it? Is he related to the Scourge of Kamino?”

“Well,” squeaked the woman, her mousy ears twitching. “Yes. But I ran him through a few other databases as well, and…” she trailed off. “Well… The number of cross references in the hero database is staggering, but, of course, if he’s related to them, and to the other, well…”

The commission supervisor grabbed the edge of her monitor and twisted it around to face him. She watched the blood drain from his face and refrained from calling him out on his rudeness.

“Why,” he asked, “didn’t they run the Scourge of Kamino’s DNA through these databases?”

“I guess they didn’t think it was necessary?”

“Excuse me,” he said, “I have to make a few calls.”

.

“You want us to attack the League of Villains now?” asked Hawks, frowning. “You’ve had me following them around for weeks, and you want us to go in now, with next to no preparation? We don’t even know if the rest of the League is with Dabi.”

What had they found out from Midoriya’s blood sample? Had it turned out the way Dabi had expected.

Was Midoriya Izuku the son of All for One?

“Alright, alright,” he said in response to his handler. He sighed deeply, leaning back to better look at the sky. “But even I’m going to need a couple hours to get everything together and start coordinating with other heroes. I’m—Sir, I really don’t think I’m going to be able to take them all on just with myself and my sidekicks. Midoriya probably isn’t with them to begin with—I’m not questioning you, sir. I just don’t understand our objective in attacking them now. Why are we rushing? It seems counterpro—Yes, sir.” The line beeped loudly as it disconnected.

Well. All this had been a monumental waste of time.

It also boded ill for Midoriya. It sounded as if he’d become an even greater target than before, and considering that the commission had been labeling him a villain even before testing his DNA… Something bigger than being related to All for One must have come out. Something that had scared the commission. Something they would scrap their stealth- and intelligence-based plan for dealing with the League for. Something they wanted gone. Locked away with Midoriya.

Hawks couldn’t imagine what that could be. Maybe he was related to All Might? Or Endeavor? All Might wouldn’t be bad, he was never publicly in a relationship, but then he’d always been private about his personal life. But Endeavor… that’d be a scandal and a half.

But, if either of those were the case, why were they so sure he’d be with the League of Villains? It didn’t make sense. Unless… Unless Midoriya wasn’t the only one related to All for One.

At least they weren’t asking him to kill the kid. The mission was capture.

Which meant that Hawks had to come up with some way of letting an injured and probably exhausted teenager and a severely disabled old man escape without looking like he was letting them escape. Or looking like an incompetent idiot. Again. Because he wasn’t about to bring Midoriya in under circumstances this shady. Maybe before, when he thought it was just trumped-up kidnapping charges, but with this uncertainty…

Commission lackey or not, Hawks was still a hero. Sometimes that meant he put aside personal feelings for the good of society, and sometimes it meant that he ignored orders so a minor wouldn’t be indefinitely imprisoned at a commission black site.

Fun times.

He sighed and gathered in his feathers, angling down into a dive. Time to get to work.

.

Ochako kept seeing things out of the corners of her eye. Shadow in the shape of people, in the shape of children. Stains on the walls.

The hallways were scrupulously clean. Spotless. Empty. Brightly lit.

Todoroki had mentioned smelling smoke a few times and had started gagging for no reason once or twice. Iida kept twitching as if he had heard something. Aizawa appeared unaffected, but Ochako could see the way he gripped his capture weapon and the rigidness of his spine.

Izuku looked resigned.

“Did they really—” started Iida.

“Yes,” said Izuku. “Almost certainly.”

“What are you talking about?” asked Todoroki.

“You’re only getting fragments of Three’s memories, since she’s suppressing this,” said Izuku. “But…” He twitched, slightly. “It’s going to get worse the farther we go. The places she was in…” His voice was soft, sing-song, not quite entirely there.

“Izuku?”

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I’m focusing on something else outside.”

“Please tell me you aren’t fighting pro heroes again,” said Aizawa.

“No, I’m escaping from the League of Villains right now.”

“How?”

“Mm. Great question. I’ll tell you how it goes later, if it works.”

“That’s not what I—”

An ear-splitting, bone-chilling scream filled the air, making everyone flinch and clench. Something crackled overhead.

“Incident response team to hallway C. Code Blue.”

More screaming. This time, Ochako had a better idea of where it was coming from, and it seemed like everyone else, did, too.

They ran past classrooms that were alternately empty and full of shadow people, past soulless dormitory rooms stuffed with bunk beds, past cells and rooms Ochako didn’t even want to think about.

A pair of dark-skinned girls stood in the hallway, one holding a bloody hand to her throat, the other baring her teeth. The lights flickered. Dimmed.

The girls were gone by the time the lights came back on.

The hallway they were in was full of operating theaters, complete with lights over the door. Ochako felt sick.

But she was used to dealing with nausea. She took a deep breath and swallowed.

“What now?” she asked. The quaver in her voice was barely audible.

“Now…” Aizawa turned slowly in place. “We’re trying to find where they met Ryuji.”

“Two,” said Izuku, nodding.

“So, the most likely place for that…” He trailed off. “The most likely place for that is in the… residential areas.” He sounded disgusted with himself for referring to a prison with such bland terms.

“We passed something like that,” said Todoroki, quietly.

“Right,” said Aizawa. “Let’s go.”

.

The way back was much more… crowded. The memories were more tangible. Ochako quickly taught herself not to look in any of the rooms. Not that it helped much with what they saw in the halls themselves.

Izuku’s distraction only grew worse as they went further. He kept trying to follow, or sometimes fight, the memory ghosts.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “Focusing on something else.”

“Just don’t die on us, problem child.”

“We’re doing okay,” said Izuku.

This was, of course, when the facility’s alarm went off.

“Intruder alert. Intruder alert. Intruder alert.”

.

Izuku couldn’t hear the sound of the fight between the League and Machia anymore. This meant that either the fighting had stopped, or they had moved out of earshot.

Despite the League having a car (Vlad-sensei’s car) Izuku doubted that the fight had gotten all that far away.

Next to him, Toshinori winced. Izuku looked at him with concern, but Toshinori waved it off.

Izuku took a shaky breath.

They just had to keep going.

.

Twice had, perhaps predictably, backed the car up into a ditch, where, despite the amount of pressure he put on the accelerator, it stayed. Stuck. Perhaps forever.

All members of the League of Villains that were not crazy enough to crawl onto the outside of a moving car to fight a homicidal giant climbed out. All members, meaning a single member. A single member, ironically, being Twice.

At least he hadn’t been going very fast when he ran into the ditch.

“Everyone okay? –Of course, they’re not! You were in a car crash, idiots!”

“Come help us fight!” ordered Shigaraki. “We were in the middle of something, you know, stupid level boss! Keep having to save scum I hate you aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

Well, that wasn’t a good sign.

“Where’s Himiko?” he shouted.

“Over here, silly!” said the second Shigaraki, because, yeah. Twice had forgotten he hadn’t duplicated Shigaraki.

Man, he was dumb sometimes. It was great he had friends to help him with that!

He dove into the fight which, ever so slightly, ever so slowly, began to move away from the car.

.

Izuku’s head throbbed sharply, and he stumbled, Toshinori just managing to catch him before he faceplanted. Four and the other past users hissed at him from the back of his mind.

Someone’s coming. Hide.

They were in no condition for another fight.

Toshinori nodded sharply, and pulled Izuku aside, into some bushes. Izuku tried to breathe quietly but was painfully aware that both he and Toshinori were out of breath and raspy. Ragged. They’d been aiming for speed, not stealth, counting on the sounds of combat to cover them.

But if someone was out here—

Izuku smelled smoke. A branch snapped. He held his breath, despite the way his lungs longed for more oxygen. Had Dabi been in the car? Izuku hadn’t seen him. He hadn’t seen any blue fire. It wasn’t like Dabi to hold back.

A pair of black booted feet came into view.

“Well, well, what do we have here?”

.

They found Two standing in a hallway, surrounded by the bodies of soldiers. A small horde of shadow children clung to his legs.

When he laid eyes on Izuku, he sighed.

“Does the world ever give you a break?” he asked.

“Not that I’ve noticed,” said Izuku.

[pollylynn]

Title: Admixed WC: 1100 Episode: After the Storm (5 x 01)

It’s hardly morning when she wakes, wondering what the rest of her life will be like. It’s a very Kate Beckett moment in some ways. In others, it's not a Kate Beckett moment at all. She has the covers pulled up to her chin, for one thing. His covers. She has her toes pointed and her body stretched long and taut with excitement. She’s grinning up at an unfamiliar ceiling as hard as she can in an effort to beat back the positively girlish sound that’s trying to race right out of her mouth. None of that is very Kate Beckett, but wondering in the first place—thinking long term, when she could be occupying the hell out of this hard-won, singular moment—that’s pretty Kate Beckett. 

She’s mostly okay with that. She is relieved, and maybe proud? She is, in her head and her heart, a bunch of things that she’s mostly happy to sort out later. But she comes down on the side of okay with that, because she likes the idea that she can be her and have this, which means that all the either/ors she’s been resigned to for so long haven’t entirely come to pass. She is still, fundamentally, herself but the circumstances all around her have radically changed, and she can’t help wondering what that will be like. 

It might be like a screwball comedy. That’s how things start out. Because she’s going for something steamy. Not, like, scrambled soft-core porn on the crappy TV in a high-school friend’s back room or anything. Nobody is fixing anyone’s cable or delivering anyone’s pizza, so to speak, but she certainly wouldn’t say no to some artsy, high-class genre that just happens to involve quite a bit of morning-after skin. That’s her genre of choice. It’s what sends her rooting through his closet in search of the perfect shirt to slip on. 

And she finds it—white-on-white with a subtle, satiny stripe and French cuffs. But then she realizes that coffee is integral to her artsy, high-class directorial debut and white is just asking for some kind of espresso explosion, which she doesn’t realize until she’s already in the middle of things. So she shucks the shirt, and making coffee naked is not just asking, it’s demanding some kind encounter with a high humiliation rating. 

But the world is smiling on her this morning. She figures out his mind-bendingly complex coffee set up  without benefit of clothing. She slips the shirt back on and struts back to the bedroom just in time to see his jaw gratifyingly hit the floor. But they’re not two minutes into the tasteful, high-brow smut of new-and-improved Kate Beckett’s dream when screwball comedy comes knocking. 

It comes knocking her right off the bed. It sends her back to the closet, entirely against her will. It unleashes his blasé mother, his hungover daughter, and it for damned sure makes the most of all the wackiness inherent in the tragically open-plan loft that, until forty-five seconds ago, she had truly loved. And she has to laugh, because she has thrown her lot in with Richard Castle, so how did she think screwball comedy was not going to be the defining genre of her life from now on? 

But she misses screwball comedy before too long, because Ryan is at the door and this is a thriller she wants no part of—not any more. She finds his eyes, not much caring in the moment if their Number Two Son uncharacteristically clues in to what’s going on between them. She finds his eyes and lets him see that she is belatedly fearful about what it means that the man who almost killed her got away. She lets him see that she is overwhelmed by the idea of facing that reality without benefit of badge and resources and a functional team. She lets him see that she is in no way tempted by this—that she is anything but the veteran eager to be pulled in for one last case. 

She is not at all tempted, but the old Kate Beckett does try to rear her head for a moment. She cannot abide the turn the rest of her life seems to be taking. She cannot abide the idea that the rest of her life will be running, looking over her shoulder, endangering everyone she loves. And the old Kate Beckett rears her head and hisses that this is why she had to go at alone all this time. She quirks a smug eyebrow and folds her arms and says, See? It is either/or. It’s always either/or. 

He’s watching her, though. He’s watching out for her, even as he roots around in memories he’d rather not be caught up in at the moment, trying desperately to be useful to Ryan. He keeps his eyes on her the whole while, and he seems to know what it is she’s struggling with. He believes that she is not tempted. He is visibly relieved and brimming with pride and awe and all the things she’s gotten used to seeing written plainly on his face, but he knows she’s struggling, too. 

And he is sweet about all of it. He is eager and fights back his own adventure-seeking tendencies, even as he gently guides her to the realization that they’re going to have to play this out a while. They’re going to have to go back in together for this one last case. 

And so they do. They go rogue. They come at the enemy from outside the system. They come at him together until she has to go after him alone. She has to, not out of some abstract, gnawing need, but because he said it himself: They don’t have a choice. She doesn’t have a choice. So she goes after the enemy solo, but he is with her. It’s his play she makes in the end—she bluffs. She bets on the fact that Bracken doesn’t know the second file was destroyed. She orchestrates a detente, because she is not interested in a leading role in a thriller that’s gone on more than a decade too long already. 

She tells her life how it’s going to go from now on. In an elevator as the doors are closing, she offers a demonstration of what she plans to do in the meantime. She shows him, in no uncertain terms what the defining genre of his immediate future is going to be . . . 

A/N: Genre bending is the directorial technique that most lacks morphousness. 

image via homeofthenutty

[eyesaremosaics]

Dealing with something very frightening right now. Sigh, as if I didn’t have enough bad news to report, and as if the world didn’t have enough problems already. Well, our Neighbor has been harassing us for 8 or nine months now. I suspect he is on crystal meth, but it’s possible he is schizophrenic or Bipolar type 1 as is evidenced by the observable behavior.

Basically he threatened to kill my boyfriend yesterday. My boyfriend was in the corridor of our complex, he had gone out for some food, and came in through the gate and closed it. The psycho was standing at the end of the hall at the top of the stairs, next to our unit. He said to my boyfriend: “are you going to close the gate you fucking asshole?”

My boyfriend said: “naw man, I’m pretty sure I closed it. I can give it a try.”

“Oh you can give it a TRY?”

My boyfriend tugged on the door to show it was closed. “See it’s shut.”

There was a pause before the psycho said in a deadly calm voice, unblinkingly staring at my boyfriend. “I’m going to kill you. I promise. One of these days.” And then he turned and went into the garage door.

This is not the first offense or negative encounter we have had with him.

Not sure if I wrote about this before, but basically I was coming up from the garage stairs from my car. This was almost a year ago. The stairwell is old. The building was constructed in 1932, this type of stairwell is not up to code by today’s standards and would not be deemed “safe”. The stairwell is very steep and narrow. Only one person can fit on it at a time. There is a door at the top of the stairs that leads to our corridor (between each of our units, there are two upstairs, and one underneath us).

Anyway, I was coming up the stairs, and the door at the top of the stairs opens. I see him silhouetted at the top. Startled, I say: “oh! I’m sorry—“ but before I can finish my sentence he comes charging at me. As he drew closer I saw that his eyes were rolling in the back of his head, and he was grinding his teeth.

Now see, I have been around enough people on drugs to know what they look like, and he was CLEARLY on something. My friend who is an ER nurse, said either drugs or a psychotic episode. He pushed past me, and almost knocked me off the stairwell. I stood frozen where I was. When he reached the bottom, he stopped, then slowly turned his head to look over his shoulder up at me as he said in a creepy voice: “what’s the matter Elmira?”

I ran upstairs and into my apartment and dead bolted the door.

After that, he would be up all night bashing things in his apartment. It sounded like he was taking apart furniture and rebuilding it, knocking bookshelves over. There were a few nights where the crashes were so loud, it was like—BOOM! Shaking the whole apartment, knocking things off our shelves. He woke us up from a dead sleep multiple times. There were days when he did it while I was here alone, and very frightened. This always happened at 3-4 am.

My boyfriend went over to knock on the door, asking: “are you okay? What’s going on? What is all the crashing?”

It escalated into an argument. The psycho mentioned me specifically, saying that I was too loud, that we are like hurricanes. Etc etc. he said fuck you a bunch of times and left. He threatened my boyfriend outside our door, yelling “what is all the ducking noise?!” Screaming: “if you don’t shut your bitch up, I’m going to knock you out!” In a very threatening tone. He said it twice. I heard him, and saw him through the peephole nose to nose with my boyfriend with his fist raised about to punch my boyfriend in a corner. My boyfriend said very calmly: “let’s try to calm down.” To which he screamed “fuck you!” Over and over and slammed his door.

After this threat we were both very scared. I went to stay at my bosses house for a while. We called the land lady, she called the neighbor. He admitted to threatening to knock him out. We have filed so many police reports against him. We have a case that’s been building all year, but basically the police say they can’t do anything unless he actually assaults one of us.

We tried to take him to court to mitigate the issue. He refused. The landlady refused to do anything about it, saying he is all talk.

A few months later—yesterday—he threatened to kill my boyfriend—“one of these days”.

He doesn’t look well, he’s lost a bunch of weight, he looks all sucked up and super unhealthy. The fact that he is up all night for days at a time—leads me to believe it’s drugs. When he crashes, and we make any noise to disturb his slumber, he psycho’s out and threatens us.

He’s tried to close the garage on me when I was trying to back my car out. He’s beeped his alarm while I’m in the garage to frighten me. He’s been standing outside our unit cackling before. The scariest incident however was a few nights after we first called the cops on him.

He knocked on our door, Yury was going to open it, I told him not to. He said maybe he wants to apologize, I said no don’t open the door. I was paralyzed with fear. Yury opened the door a crack and asked what was up. The neighbor looked out of his mind, eyes rolling around in his head. Speech drawn out, weird slow, movements that made him look intoxicated. He said: “you have a package.” Yury said no, that’s your package man, it has your name on it. He said: “ohhhh… it’s my package?…. But there are….other…packages.” In a super creepy drawn out tone.

He perked through the crack and saw me sitting on the couch. He waved violently at me and said “Hi!” Using his arm to try to force his way into our apartment. Yury slammed his body against to door and dead bolted it. Then the neighbor began screaming in a loud guttural voice and ran up and down the stairs repeatedly. Then he went into his apartment and began slamming things. We called the cops again, and used our buzzer to let them in the front gate.

A few days after that our buzzer stopped working.

Recently we had someone come to look at our buzzer, turns out, all the wiring in the garage—just for our unit, no one else’s. Has deliberately been ripped out. So we can’t buzz the police in, in the event of an attack or emergency. Very creepy.

We are constantly under duress. Living in fear and anxiety for our lives because we don’t know what this psycho is capable of. The Land lady says she is going to move us into another unit, for our safety, but who knows when that is going to be. Super stressful.