#he about to get punched
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I got some news for you, buddy
#art#my art#skelet#he man#he man motu#he man skeletor#masters of the universe#motu#motu revelation#motu revolution#motu au#skeletor#skeleton#sketch#he about to get punched
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David Tennant doesn't know how to half-ass a kiss. If/when we finally get a good kiss between Crowley and Aziraphale, I suspect I will be passing away from the passion of it. He just puts his whole David Tennussy into every kiss.
#one thing about David Tennant is that he's gonna be kissing#David Tennant kiss#good omens#crowley#aziraphale#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#david tennant#michael sheen#good omens 2#aziraphale x crowley#a/c#ineffable partners#ineffable divorce#ineffable kiss#I swear if we get another chin kiss I will punch a wall
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tsum events really are just the best, huh
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#tsumsted wonderland#to be fair this is from mal's card story so it's more...event-adjacent#i-it still counts right#poor malleus tsum is having such a time#first it blows up the kitchen and then it almost gets spin-cycle'd to tsum-death#the poor little guy just wanted to help with the party! it was trying its BEST 😭#and instead it accidentally recreated every other tuesday from my college days#i am so genuinely delighted to read two entire chapters of malleus bragging about knowing how to use household appliances#(he knows what he's doing! he READ the MANUAL)#(you know that manual has copious notes covering the margins in perfect copperplate)#and the callback to his dorm ssr story. perfect.#we all knew this was going to end in malleus punching a washing machine into smithereens#i'm disappointed that the next part is probably just going to be a fun party or whatever#and not malleus showing off how close he is to finally mastering the toaster#twst please where is my spinoff game where we have to help a dragon fae prince learn how to do household tasks#i have an indescribable need to see malleus attempt to use a vacuum#he is very enthusiastic and also very stupid and we love him for it
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it drives me crazyyyy that like. palamedes is out at canaan house with tenderness in excelsius for dulcinea. the perfect regency era gentleman. every moment is the pride and prejudice hand flex scene. if the pov character was attracted to men even a little bit the narration would be filled with swooning. he’s lowering her gently into chairs and handing her tea so that their hands brush and looking at her with those big grey eyes of his. and all of it is WASTED because it’s NOT dulcinea it’s CYTHEREA. FUCK
#PUNCHING THE AIR#i think a lot about that line from unwanted guest#‘i loved you. i love you still. i would have worked out how to love you better over time.’#like. what if dulcie HAD made it to canaan house. what if she and pal HAD met. what if he HAD treated her this way#would things have been different? would they have had more time???#FUCK dude. they GET ME#the locked tomb#gideon the ninth#gtn#gtn spoilers#palamedes sextus#dulcinea septimus#paldulcie#tlt#nat og#1k#2k
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Wayne is picking up some groceries from Melvald’s when he sees a kid slumped in the passenger seat of the chief’s truck. He’s got a black eye and a sour look on his face, and he’s parked right next to him.
Wayne puts his groceries in his truck and then taps on the window, “What’ya in for?”
“Living my life.”
Wayne laughs to himself at that before asking, “Didn’t get that black eye putting someone in the hospital?”
The kid snorts, “Hardly. Dickhead sucker punched me when I told him to stop messing with a bunch of kids. Didn’t have the chance to even hit back before Hopper’s on my ass.”
Wayne takes that into consideration and looks back at the store where Hopper is leaned over the check out counter, talking to Joyce Byers. He tilts his head back and decides, “Wanna get out of here?”
“What?”
“Prison break?” Wayne suggests, tilts his head towards his truck. “I’ll be the getaway driver.”
“Seriously?”
He gets a real smile out of a kid and his eyes light up the way Eddie’s does when he thinks he’s getting away with something. Wayne ends up taking the kid back to his house to hide out since he has a friend in Forest Hills, meets Max Mayfield, and has the best breakfast for dinner he’s ever experienced.
When Eddie finally exits his bedroom into this apparent alternate universe, he asks, “…why is Steve Harrington in our kitchen?”
#Wayne ‘fuck the police’ Munson#Wayne knows a good kid when he sees one and doesn’t care about the law so…#also it’s very funny to picture this from Hopper’s POV#he sees Steve get punched a month out from a concussion#stops by to ask Joyce to keep an eye on El until he gets back from take Steve to get checked out at the hospital#walks out to an empty truck#hopper is a good enough cop to find out where he is and does come knocking#steve harrington#Wayne Munson#eddie munson
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This wine tastes like pigs blood!
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#jin zixun#wei wuxian#su she#(Su She needs to have his carrie moment before he can have his Carrie Moment.#Which means he needs to exist as a punching bag before he can hit 'em with the rebound).#My first draft of this comic had WWX slurping LWJ's wine per actual scene canon#As it really is a great scene of how WWX is willing to absorb the scandal and harm that befalls others.#It had a lot less to do with it being LWJ and more so that WWX just happens to be the kind of person who refuses to turn a blind eye.#It could have been any Lan who was being pressured (inappropriately) to drink (do not pressure anyone to drink irl PLEASE).#Because this is a romance plot it of course *is* LWJ. But don't forget that in this moment they aren't on great terms.#It's not a knight in shining armor moment - it's a 'you were being treated unjustly and I have the power to absolve you from that.'#And as we are very soon about to see - WWX certainly cannot turn away from those who need aid he can provide.#And like Jin Guangyao; that kindness is also his downfall.#By the way - that you all for the amazing community commentary on the last comic. I really loved reading everyone's thoughts!#Suyao shippers...I get it now. You had me at 'wen ning and WWX parallels'. I'll be back with a treat for you soon.#And yes 'everyone' does include the ironically named tumblr user jin zixun.#Who blocked me right before the character makes his pd-mdzs debut.#I hope you are well. You seem like you were having a real bad time yesterday.
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modern gambit has two concerns and those are 1.) wife and 2.) cats. I love it
#razpost#marvel#gambit#remy lebeau#i know some people complain about flanderization in comics and it's definitely always a shame when characters get flattened but in this cas#i genuinely feel like that is all he wants out of life. he'd be fine if he got to stay at home and simply exist next to rogue with his cats#and occasionally go punch some people or break into someone's house. i feel like that's all he needs really
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Danny and Ellie are forced to flee Amity Park. And find themselves in Coast City.
I started writing this with the intention of only writing a short prompt, but then I just kept going until I felt like I’d written enough.
Danny gets caught up in yet another fight with Skulker, only this time it wasn’t because Skulker had come for Danny. No. He’d come for Ellie. And she was already weak from fleeing the GIW who had shot at her the moment she arrived in Amity Park.
Whether Skulker is after Ellie for Vlad, or because he wants her pelt can be up to you.
Either way, he manages to beat Skulker and captures him in the thermos. Just as he lets out a long sigh of relief he hears the sound of an ecto-gun being fired and then his side is burning and he’s falling. He’s falling too fast and it hurts and he can’t stop-
Danny guys the ground hard. His head is spinning, his skin feels like it’s burning, and he can hear the stomping of feet as someone runs towards him.
He needs to get up. He needs to get away. Find Ellie and make sure she’s safe. He’s needs to MOVE- but he can’t. Black spots for his vision as he manages to stand up and his eyes meet the end of his mother’s gun.
Before anyone can speak, he’s falling again, handing face first in the dirt. And the familiar feeling of de-transforming washes over him.
The last thing he hears before loosing consciousness is the grief stricken sound of his parent’s voice as three voices shout in unison.
“OH MY GOD DANNY!”
“DANNY ARE YOU OKAY?!”
“NO, GET AWAY FROM HIM!”
When Danny wakes up again, he’s in his room, the curtains are drawn but he can see the sliver of sunlight pouring in through the gap underneath. He notes that his body aches, but not as much as usual after a fight like that. And there’s a warmth enveloping his hand. It’s soothing, and he almost considers going back to sleep when he notices that there’s a ghost in the room. And all too fast he’s sitting up and staring into the exhausted, red, puffy eyes of his mother looking back at him from where she’s sitting holding his hand in hers.
Just behind her he sees Ellie floating just above the ground talking quietly with his dad.
“Danny,” his mother’s voice draws his attention along with Jack and Ellie’s. “How are you feeling, sweetheart? Are you in any pain?”
He didn’t notice when she’d helped him to lay back down again. “Do you need anything? Ellie here was just telling us about how regular pain medication doesn’t work as well for the two of you. But I’m sure we could find something for you that might-”
“Mom,” Danny rasps. Man his throat was dry.
As if reading him mind Ellie appears by his mother’s side holding out a glass of water with a straw in it. Maddie helps Danny to sit up a little more so he can drink.
“Mom,” he tries again, sounding better this time, “I’m okay. I promise. It’s not that bad!” He starts to lie as the panic sets in. He de-transformed in front of them. He knows he did. And the fear shows on his face, it must, because before he can even begin trying to think up an excuse his mother is crying.
“Oh Danny, it’s okay. We know. And we’re not angry at you. We love you. So much.”
And Danny’s heart swells at hearing it. “You don’t hate me for being Phantom?” He asks quietly.
“No! We could never hate you Dann-o!” His dad’s cheery tone doesn’t disguise the sadness and guilt etched into his face. “We’re just…so sorry that we never noticed before. And that we…” he can’t finish his sentence but he doesn’t need to. Danny already knows what he’s apologise for.
“I’m okay. I promise. I heal fast!” Danny tied to reassure them.
It seems to help a little, though his parents still have a grim look in their eyes. As they make connections in just how Danny would know that about himself.
And Ellie, with perfect timing to cut the tension, announces happily, “Danny! Good news! Your parents said I could stay with you!”
Ellie had told his parents while Danny was unconscious about being his clone. She saw how they fretted over Danny, cleaning and dressing his injuries with the love and care she only imagined from a parent that truly loves you. And they had accepted her almost right away. Jack even crying as he proudly declared himself a father of three.
Jack soon excused himself, saying he’ll go see if Jazz needs any help with cooking lunch. Danny and his mother share a look, and with a final kiss to his head says she’ll go make sure nothing gets brought back to life. And she asks Ellie to please make sure Danny stays in bed and rests.
Danny and Ellie are left alone in his room, and it gives Danny the chance to really revel in everything. His parents accept him. They love him, both sides of him. And they accepted Ellie too! And said she can stay! She doesn’t have to be alone anymore.
Now, a lot can happen in the span of a few seconds, let alone minutes. In the time it took for Maddie to reach the kitchen, their front door was kicked down and a group of GIW agents had stormed in demanding they hand over the ectoplasmic scum they were harbouring.
Jack and Maddie drew their weapons and planted themselves directly in front of the GIW agents. The agents state that a ghost shield was put up around the house to prevent any ghosts from escaping, and by law any ghosts within the premises were ti be handed over for destruction immediately. Jazz runs upstairs to Danny’s room to warn them that the GIW were inside the house and that they needed to run. They need to get to the portal NOW.
With all the authority of an older sister Jazz tells Ellie to grab the go bag Danny had insisted on having prepared, and picks Danny up despite his protests that he could walk. Or well, fly. Ellie turns them all invisible and intangible and takes them down to the lab.
They can hear the sound of shouting, and something breaking and a gun being fired all coming from upstairs as Jazz opens the portal for Danny and Ellie.
Another shot rings out. And then another, and more shouting.
“Quickly you two need to go!”
Another shot.
“Aren’t you coming with us?” Danny, now Phantom, asks suddenly as he and Ellie are preparing to enter the Ghost Zone.
Two more shots.
“Someone needs to be here to deactivate the portal in case the guys in white make it down here. I’ll be fine. Mom and dad will be okay, they’re not here for us so you two need to go. Now!” There’s banging on the lab’s door and Jazz shoves both Danny and Ellie into the portal. The last thing Danny hears before the portal closes behind them is another shot being fired.
Danny is scared and angry as he and Ellie are forced to fly through the zone with no currently known way to get back to his family. He needs to make sure they’re okay. He needs to protect them.
But right now Danny is still hurt, and he needs to get himself and Ellie somewhere safe. They begin to slowly make their way through the zone, looking for somewhere to rest and avoiding any ghosts that might want to pick a fight.
Ellie isn’t sure how long she and Danny have been moving for. It feels like it could have been days, or hours, or even minutes. But Danny can’t fly as quickly right now. He’s trying to keep a brave face for Ellie’s sake but she can see the exhaustion beginning to take hold of him.
So Ellie makes the executive decision to touch down somewhere to rest. She tells Danny she’s tired. Danny knows she isn’t and it’s only because she’s worried and wants him to rest. So he goes along with it and they make their way to the next floating island they come across and thank the ancients it’s empty. The two halfas touch down and Danny slumps over as he sits against a nearby rock. Ellie pulls out some energy bars that were tucked away in the go bag and hands one over to Danny.
They do this a few times, stopping to rest, as they gradually make their way to the Far Frozen. Ellie had insisted on going there, Frostbite would know what to do, and he would be able to help Danny with his injuries that had started bleeding again in all the commotion of escaping, and then flying and hiding from ghosts known to attack Danny regularly.
But unfortunately luck is not on their side yet again as a natural portal rips open directly in front of them, and closes behind them after spitting them out in a city they didn’t recognise.
That’s how Danny and Ellie find themselves in Coast City, hiding out in an old warehouse by the docs while Danny heals and they figure out how they’re going to get back home.
That is, until now.
Danny stares up at his little sister and sighs with the resigned tone of an exasperated older sibling.
“Ellie,” he takes a breath, “what did you do?”
“I’m my defence,” Ellie glares up at Green Lantern, who has Ellie scruffed by the back of her hoodie, before looking back at Danny, “I simply do not vibe with the law.”
#dp x dc#dc x dp#dpxdc#dcxdp#green lantern#Hal Jordan#Danny phantom#Danny Fenton#Ellie phantom#Ellie Fenton#good parents Jack and Maddie#good Fenton parents#Ellie was just getting some food#she didn’t expect someone to try to rob her!#and she didn’t mean to punch him that hate she was just scared and needed to get back to her brother#Hal has no idea what’s going on#one kid punched a guy hard enough to knock him through a wall#and the other is very clearly injured and also very exhausted by the other kids antics#siblings he guesses#homeless ones at that#and then he noticed the black hair and blue eyes and realises that oh no#he can’t let Batman find out about these kids
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despite Laios low self esteem making him think that if he’d been eaten, Chilchuck and Marcille wouldn’t have helped Falin,
theres a small part of me that thinks the reason Chilchuck stayed with the party and went back in the dungeon in the first place was because he didn’t want to leave Laios alone. That Laios was moreso the reason he stayed.
#dungeon meshi#chilaios#OK SORRY. THE DEMONS. I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO LIKE THIS PAIRING. I DIDNT. BUT. HHH. FHFHJFJV. I FEEL CRAZY. LET ME EXPLAIN.#Pre canon it seems Laios is the person Chilchuck is really the closest to#He gets along with Namari and they are probably way better as buddies than he and Laios but#He and Laios seem *closer*#If that makes sense#Laios calls him his first name enough and without any issue or hesitation from Chilchuck#That I sort of inagine its not like. A misunderstanding. Laios is on a first name basis with him for a reason.#He also worries probably more than anyone about Laios#And his biggest criticism of him is that hes “reckless”#he’s comfortable around Laios in a very specific way and so is Laios around him#and in the series he shows many times that he’ll risk his life to protect Laios#Like staying with him to confront the elves because he was worried Laios would say something stupid#Hes the first one to run up to him when Falin punches him#I mean I think he was also going back for Falin like its not like I think he doesn’t care about her or anything#He clearly does#But I don’t know if he’d have gone back if Laios hadn’t#And if Laios had been eaten I think he wouldn’t have even had to be convinced by Falin#I also think Marcille would’ve gone back for him but probably more bc Falin was going back#Like sort of a reversed thing#AGAIN not that I don’t think she cared about Laios at the beginning either#But she before the story she was mostly Falin’s friend who knew Laios through Falin#She only really got to know him when Falin got eaten and they had to do a team building exercise#Though now I sort of want to see an actually reversed scenario#Bc we also know that Chilchuck is sort of uncomfortable around Falin (said in relationship chart)#So I would love to see them be forced into a team building exercise to find a person they both love the way Laios and Marcille were
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danyal al ghul memes because i don't think i've done those yet for this au.
(the jason one is in reference to the fanon headcanon/au that Jason and Damian potentially knew each other and interacted while jason was in the league. I've thought about it before in context of this au, but haven't thought about it enough to feel inspired or motivated to make a post exploring the idea)
(diablito means, as you can guess, 'little devil'. while i'm neutral to latino jason, i think the nickname is cute as fuck and was danny's main nickname from Jason. i don't wanna touch that timeline so im not gonna decide how old they were when Jason was there.)
Skulker: i am the ghost zone's greatest hunter! i capture and hunt creatures both rare and dangerous. Danyal: a poacher?? you're a poacher?? you poach animals??Skulker:...i sense i've made a mistake of some kind.
anyways that was the day that Skulker cemented himself as Danny's no.1 opp, and still remains there to this day even if he and Vlad are both viciously fighting for second. Out of everyone in the the AP rogues gallery, Skulker will be the first to be thrown under the bus in terms of 'o shit here comes phantom fucking RUN'.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#danyal al ghul au#dpxdc memes#danyal al ghul#dpdc#truly the epitome of “i dont faster than the bear i just need to be faster than YOU”#regardless of when Jason was with the league he *does* know that Danny loved Damian. don't ask me about the timeline because it'll be#*messsyyyy* and i've seen plenty of aus where jason was there while Damian as an infant so i can totally believe this could happen i just#need to do the mental gymnastics for it. not even. baby im faceplanting right into the mat and not getting up#the last meme is a tiktok sound that i found and thought was hilarious. and would also ABSOLUTELY be a story danyal would tell the#family after reuniting and developing a bond with them. damian has no recollection of this but is embarrassed nonetheless#danny spat that story out when he over heard damian claiming he doesn't have any embarrassing stories from the league. danny beat jason#to the punch and in the most deadpan voice said 'i remember you walking into my room. as a toddler. in nothing but a diaper. and picking#a marble up off the floor and holding it out. like the skull of yorick. before putting it as far down your throat as possible. i had to#stick my entire arm down your esophagus to pull it out. and save your life' before walking away#i got the ages wrong in the last image so just assume that danny recently turned seven and damian is like#18 months old#about a year and a half.
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I mean... someone was gonna have to tell him SOMETIME, right?
#clangen#clan generator#warriors oc#warrior cats#sporeclan#poor mousegrove getting a stress stomachache lol that strange twink really got to her#also this one goes out to all the people who love when dawnpelt gets mad at people out of seemingly nowhere <3#dawnpelt will see someone bedridden and say is anyone gonna pick a fight with that#TO BE CLEAR. crowstar and fennelacorn were most definitely trying to come up with a time and a way to let him know gently#dawnpelt just beat them to the punch#sc moons#sc:mousegrove#sc:spottedfrost#sc:cliffthicket#sc:finchpaw#sc:finchwisp#sc:piperdapple#sc:greenkit#sc:dawnpelt#sc:oscypek#sc:petunia#she's mad because he's an infection risk and that he is here for 'no reason since who he's here for is already dead anyway'#(see also: acting out in fear)#tw injury#tw death#<- implied#ill never stop being sad about petunia
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reunion
#a doodley#inspired by coochiekrab and sol-rust minimal toned coloring#also realistically talon would NOT knock he'd just climb in through the window and scare the fuck out of everyone but it had to be this#way for the comic#so i went with insistent annoyed knocking#kinda nonsensical no punch line just talon being like oh brother what is that thing.#dont tell me you've moved on and even had children or ill do something drastic.#immediate jealousy and hating of change#something about how talon left so he wouldnt get attached but still thinks of and#comes home to al several years later anyway#something about how al said he fully accepted he'd never see talon again but knows how long its been since he left
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#dnd art#dnd character#ocs#dungeons and dragons#drow#elf#dandelion treehollow#status: currently fatally cursed#and worried about how his friends will fare without him#he's the face! he's good with words! he can look like anyone with his magic and can get them out of trouble!#also he's willing to do shadier stuff to do it!#if he dies will they be okay?? HOW WILL HE KNOW???#(i think he'll be alright but who knows)#his arm is ROTTING!!!#time to summon his evil book back that he's pretty sure has a connection his evil mom but you know what#desperate times#as far as he's concerned his mom wouldn't let him die... right?#also lowkey stressed about this fatal curse being broken but uhhhh.... maybe a different curse he has also being broken which.... uuuhhhhh.#UUUHHHHHHH....#anyway we play this weekend i'll keep yall posted#pray for dandelion#ravelers#PRAY FOR DANDELION!!!#also what a humiliating way to die. punched by a mummy.#actually with his mommy problems this new mummy problem is kinda funny i take it back
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so ik it’s not cannon accurate but,,,
i need a fic of tim just crashing out.
like he gets so sick of like damian and jason talking about how weak he is and shit like that that he’s like “yall realize lady shiva was my one of my FIRST teachers, and i was the first robin she trained. i had to train under b AFTER he already lost a robin. you DONT think he was 10x harder on me than any of you guys???? there’s a reason my training videos are mainly redacted without bruce’s or my permission. i got ra’s al ghul BEGGING ME to join his league or have my children. i get gifts from him WEEKLY. do you KNOW how many of his little ninja i fight per DAY??? nahh im sick of this shit let’s take it to the mats” and just demolishing both of them at the same time.
i just think it’d be very funny. i just like fics of people who pretend to be weaker than they are(or they just never really have a reason to go full tilt so they just don’t) get sick of holding back and just losing it :D
#batfam#tim drake#red robin#jason todd#red hood#damian wayne#robin#unhinged tim drake#batfamily shitposts#i just need fics of tim losing his shit and crashing out#just because they are funny#and i sometimes feel like people would forget that just because he’s smart does not mean he doesn’t have hands#like bro all robins are certified villains only being held back by b’s rules#they all have insane hands and are all very smart#don’t get distracted by whichever one they choose to put at the forefront of their personality so you forget about the other#but basically yeah i just want it bc it’d make me giggle#also yes ik bruce never physically abused tim during training but i love the angst fics that use that so i added it anyways#i. don’t think it was like intentional on bryce’s part tho just that he was struggling so hard with his grief#he just never noticed how hard he was pushing tim until he pushed wayyyy too far#and yeah he and tim eventually resolved their issues and had a BIG talk about training boundaries#but only after he started getting a bit better and got it through his head that tim was just a kid and not a moving punching bag#i like to think it was only after like titans tower or some other time where he was very close to losing tim tho#bc as much as i want bruce to just be a good dad all the time he had struggles actually verbalizing his feelings#and apologizing for his mistakes
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The Joker comic I talked about is finally here!
I can't lie, I was pretty disappointed with how the reunion with Joker went in ME2. Out of all the characters, his should have been the most emotionally impactful (he saw Shepard die!!) yet all we got was "Sup?" as though Joker wouldn't have spent the 2 years dealing with insane survivor's guilt. Well to that I say pthhbt. My Shepard would have been beside herself seeing him again for the first time, so he's getting hugged whether he likes it or not.
Also while this is technically part of my ongoing Shakarian comic, please feel free to interpret this as romantic as well as platonic.
Part 1 • Previous Part • Interim Comic 2
#mass effect#mass effect comic#mass effect joker#femshep#commander shepard#sharky shepard#jeff moreau#shoker#jeff joker moreau#If anyone was wondering the reason Joker flinches back is because he's expecting to get decked in the jaw#He spent two years thinking about what would happen if he could bring Shepard back#Over time he convinced himself that she'd be pissed at him for getting her killed#At least enough that she'd punch him if he ever saw her again#He felt it was the least he deserved#sharky art
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you fucking hate your job.
unfortunately, you also need it.
some old money family hires you to play housekeeper for their weird ass son. satoru gojo, you think.
he's handsome. just looking at him is a treat; stark white hair, bright blue eyes, a face like an actual idol.
and then he opens his mouth. illusion ruined.
whatever. you don't care that much about his "wow! you really didn't dress up for work, huh?" and "so, let me guess... no boyfriend?" you’ve dealt with worse.
you'd been excited when you got this job. you're broke. the pay is great. you're ready to do anything to not get fired.
you keep the apartment completely spotless, despite how many candy wrappers and packages he leaves around, the disaster that is his stupid fancy bathroom.
seriously, who leaves soap and shampoo everywhere like that? who jerks off in the shower that often? throws towels around and knocks bottles and toothbrushes over? it's like he's trying to leave a mess.
you do his laundry, which he just leaves on the floor like a goddamn animal. there's some clothes with gross, crusty white on them.
one time, you'd caught him staring at you while you picked it up, smirking all the while.
this is the guy you’re being paid to look after. and you’re fucking trying! god, do you ever try!
you cook meals from scratch, hours-long, intensive processes. you check his fridge, shamelessly dig through his garbage to see what he likes and try to make things he'll enjoy.
he leaves empty boxes of takeout on the counter, your homemade dinner in the trash, untouched.
it's in your contract. you can't not cook for him. and you can't eat anything, either, not when you're terrified of getting fired and he obviously likes to make you miserable.
and your landlord just informed you last month - rent will be going up. and not by a small amount.
you'd just finished digging yourself out of one hole and life kicks you right back down.
you don't know how you're going to make rent this month. fuck, you don't even know what you're going to have for dinner. if you can afford dinner. if you can even afford to put the heat on tonight.
it's not even a question. obviously the answer is no.
sitting on the plush, luxury couch in gojo’s apartment, you bury your head in your hands, and cry.
maybe you can get another job? but there's only so many hours in the day. you're so fucking sick of working all the time. you already do.
is it too much to ask for life to cut you a fucking break?
"what's wrong?" your least favorite voice interrupts - and a hand on your shoulder, shaking you, none-too-gently.
"don't tell me..." there's that smugness, "are you cryin'?"
"sorry, i just need a minute." you say, swallowing your anger to look him in the eyes. "i just got some bad news. my landlord is raising the rent next month."
"oh?" his tone is only getting worse, "so what? just move out. or get some roommates, or whatever you poor people do."
god, the fucking mouth on this man.
"soooo? sounds like poor planning on your part," satoru says, casually leaning onto the edge of the couch, "i just don't get why you're crying about it. like, that's kinda pathetic, you know?" he snickers -
SLAP
dead silence. a sting on your hand. satoru's face bent to the side. you don't even regret it. not right now, as angry as you are.
"you-" a rant is just about to spring from your lips, and then -
satoru grabs your hands, pulling them into his, right in front of his face.
his cheeks are dusted red. pretty eyes wide and dilated, fixed on you. mouth twisted in a grin.
you glance down to the front of his pants, where a noticeable bulge has formed.
"do it again."
#jujutsu kaisen#satoru gojo#gojo satoru#satoru x reader#gojo x reader#it's not exactly smut but it's not really sfw#god he's such a jerk. he loves being a jerk#and the moment you slap him for it he will fall over and bare his belly like the dog he is#i have more content like this. reader is VERY upset about the homemade cooking being thrown away#something something making him eat it off the floor#just. hngh. gojo lying prone on the floor. maybe on his stomach#i love making him punchable and then having him get off on being punched#he's exactly the sort of awful gorgeous man who would piss you off bc he's hoping you'll beat him up for it
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