#he SAID he 'doesn't blame me' for not having anything and I'm 'always welcome here' but I don't believe that for a second

[leclercsluvs]

LN4 | Our Forever Moment

an: i still don't really know how much i like to make written fics, but i have ideas for them so i'm going to continue to try and write them, i think. my first language is NOT english, so sorry if there's any mistakes <3 pairing: lando norris x fem!reader, vasseur!reader (this is gonna be fun, lowkey not important, gets mentioned like a few times because i forgot) warnings: swearing (like twice) inspired by: mine - taylor swift word count: 6.2k

As she’s being dragged to another race, she wonders when her dad is going to realize she's always running off and never in the garage of his own team, she doesn’t know that he’s fully aware she’s never there. She’s been welcomed by everyone she’s visited though, which does make him happy. She mostly goes to Mercedes and Red Bull, but lately Mclaren has been looking quite interesting. 

“Are you going to stay in the Ferrari garage today? Or am I gonna have to send someone over to Red Bull or Mercedes to find you?" Fred looks at yn with a playful smile.

“I didn’t think you noticed.” She's quite shocked. He always seemed to switch off being a dad whenever they stepped into the garage, so it never even occurred to her that he even wanted her there.

“Who do you think sends someone after you at the end of the day?” He turns back around as they get closer, “I think you, Charles and Carlos would be great friends if you gave them a chance,” they turn and walk into the Ferrari hospitality. “Oh speaking of boys, have you found a boyfriend I need to approve of?” He quickly looks back to see her surprised face before he turns back to see where he’s going, even though he could probably navigate it blindfolded.

“Well first of all, you wouldn’t need to approve of him, this isn’t the middle age,” yn lets out a small laugh, “and second, all of my relationships have failed, you’re partly to blame for pulling me to almost every race, and then I guess I’m just not girlfriend material.” She follows her dad around, because even if she does get pulled to all races, she usually doesn't hang out here for more than 5 minutes before she’s off to find Max or George. 

“Chérie, anyone not willing to spend the short time you're home isn’t worth your time,” he stops in his track turns around and puts a hand on her shoulder, “and I’m not sure if I ever said it, but if you truly would prefer to stay home and only travel to a few, that is fine. I would understand.”

She gives him a reassuring smile, “I know. You wouldn’t have been able to drag me out of the house if I didn't truly want to be here.”

He gives one quick smile before continuing walking, and before she knows it, she’s left to herself because he’s needed for something important.

~~~

It doesn’t take long for Charles to spot yn, sitting by herself, because apparently everyone else is busy today. “Yn? what are you doing here? I thought you’d be off doing something with Max?” Charles looks around to see if Max is around and he just hadn't seen him, but it’s a lost cause, which he should have realized, Max wouldn’t be seen anywhere near anything related to Ferrari. Except for Charles of course.

“No he’s busy. Everyone suddenly got busy.” She looks back down at her phone and the messages between her and her friend, however it would be rude to text back while Charles is in front of her, so she turns it off and stuffs it in her pocket. “I don't really remember the last time everyone, well except for you I guess, was busy at the same time.” 

“Well, I’m meeting Lando and Oscar for lunch, do you want to join us?” Charles asks with a smile, flashing some cute dimples. Not that anything could ever happen between the two. As attractive as Charles may be, her dad was his boss, and nothing good was going to come out of that. 

“I think I’d like that,” she smiles back as she picks up her bag with her essentials, “it’s nothing fancy right? I didn’t really get dressed for something over the top.” She looks down at the ripped jeans and the oversized t-shirt that she’s wearing. Not exactly the cutest outfit.

~~~

“So you still live with your dad?” Oscar asks curiously, they all seemed fairly happy she was invited by Charles. And Oscar, who she hadn’t really spent any time with, has been asking a lot of questions. 

“I do. I may be 21, but living at home is just a little easier. And I like spending time with my dad, even if I run off to other teams at the first chance I get.” She answers as she takes another bite of her food. Lando has been awfully quiet and it didn’t go over yn’s head. She was fully aware of how glued his eyes were to his food. 

“Is it weird? That your dad is responsible for a Formula 1 team?” Oscar almost forgets to eat, because of all the questions he’s asking.

“It was in the beginning, but I've gotten used to it by now,” she takes a sip of water. “Is he always this quiet?” yn looks at the way Lando is poking his food “and is he always just poking his food?” She questions, making Lando's eyes move up for just a split second and then back down to his food.

“No. He’s usually pretty chatty, maybe he’s just nervous for tomorrow," Oscar says, finally eating some of his food. “He doesn’t usually get like this before a race though,” Oscar leans his head a little to the side as if thinking about it, before poking a finger in Lando’s side making him jump a little. “What’s going on in that head of yours?” Oscar asks.

“Maybe he’s got a new crush,” Charles jokes, taking a bite of food just as Lando suddenly coughs and gulps down water.

“Are you okay?” Yn asks as Lando suddenly gets up from his chair avoiding any and all eye contact.

“No, I’m actually not feeling so great. I think I’ll have to cut this short if I want to be good to go by tomorrow.” He quickly gathers his things as everyone looks confused. “Bye!” And then he’s out of there.

“Well that was weird.” Oscar says as he goes back to eating

“Do you think it was me?” Yn looks at the rest of the men sitting around the table, a little sad that she may have ruined their lunch.

Charles smiles. “Yes,” he says, looking at yn, “but in a good way. I think I might be right, even if it was just a joke.” He lets out a laugh. “I’m sure there’s some truth to it.” He goes back to eating, and so does yn, deciding that maybe she’ll talk to Lando in private.

~~~

On his way back to the hotel, Lando struggles to figure out his emotions. Of course yn is absolutely gorgeous. But considering she’s Fred's daughter he wouldn’t dare to think of her as anything but a friend. He may not race for Ferrari, but he still has a lot of respect for the man. And Lando knows about his reputation of not being able to keep his relationships going for long. Hopefully he can just subtly ignore her. Because the feelings, and thoughts he had during that lunch were not friendly. And before he even considers anything, he needs to make sure his feelings for her are romantic, and not just him finding her pretty.

~~~

Lando spent close to 4 months avoiding yn to the best of his abilities, and when he wasn’t ready and she caught him off guard he made up some weird excuse about needing to look at data, test the car, try some new Mclaren merch for photoshoots. Yn usually knew they were lies, and wondered why Lando was so set on avoiding her. To be quite honest, it brought down her mood, and she spent more and more time in the Ferrari garage and hospitality. Her dad sensed something was wrong. She was rarely there and suddenly she never left? Something was going on and he was going to get the bottom of it. 

“I see you’re spending time here today,” Fred sat across from yn. She was eating lunch. Alone. That was how she spent most of her time lately. All alone. Lando had unknowingly made her really anti-social.

“I guess.” She poked a little at the salad she had bought. She didn’t really want it anymore. 

“Did the others have plans?” Fred asks, looking around.

“I’m not sure.”

“Is something bothering you?” Fred asked, concerned for her daughter who used to have a lot to talk about. A lot of people to talk to, and who never spent time at lunch alone in Ferrari.

“Nope.” Fred sighed. He wasn’t going to get any answers. If it was because she genuinely just didn’t feel like talking today or if there was something wrong, he wasn’t sure. But he was gonna ask Max, or maybe Lewis to talk to her. He didn’t want her to be lonely. He got up from his chair. He had to get this started immediately. 

Fred’s quest to find Lewis was surprisingly easy. He found the soon-to-be Ferrari driver hanging out with Charles and Carlos near their own garage. “Lewis! Can we talk?” Fred called out before he reached them. Lewis just nodded and started walking towards Fred.

“Is it about my contract?” Lewis asked cautiously. He knew he hadn’t been performing that great in the Mercedes this year and was afraid Fred was going to only make it a year so he could be finished with him.

“No. I need you to talk to yn. She's suddenly spending a lot of time with Ferrari, but alone. Which, as you may know, isn’t where, or how, she usually spends her time.'' Fred looks really concerned, and it’s like it’s transferred to Lewis immediately. He’s known yn ever since her dad started dragging her along. She would usually spend time with George when she went to Mercedes, but sometimes when George wasn’t there and she just wanted to be somewhere else, Lewis and yn would play some games. Usually chess. Lewis was definitely better than yn but she still loved it. They could often lose track of time and suddenly one from the Mercedes team would come and get Lewis to either do some media related stuff or because it was time to get ready for a race.

“Of course! Now that you mention it, I haven't seen her around Mercedes for quite some time now. I’ll see what I can do, if I can't figure it out, I'll have Max ask her. They’ve always had quite a special bond I don't understand” Lewis gives the man a reassuring smile and a clap on the shoulder “Don’t worry, we’ll get her back to her talkative self very soon.”

“Thanks Lewis,” Fred looks relieved, but only for a second when his eyes widen. “Do you think Max did something to her? To make her feel this way?” He looks around as if he's scanning the surroundings for Max. And good thing he isn’t around. It wouldn’t have been a good outcome.

“I doubt it. He’s always been nice. Especially to her,” when he realizes how that may sound to the man in front of him and the way his eyes narrow, he quickly adds “as a friend. Not romantically. I’m pretty sure he’s actually in a relationship.” Fred seems to almost relax at those words and gives Lewis a quick pat on the shoulder

“Hurry up and get my daughter back. I miss her.” and with that he walks off. Hopefully not to find Max. And if so, Lewis sure is glad he isn’t Max right now.

~~~

When Lewis finally finds yn sitting just on the outside of the track he’s surprised she was allowed. But then again she probably just mentioned being Fred's daughter and she was allowed. “Hey there. Looking cozy. Mind if I join you?” He doesn’t wait for a response, just sits down next to her on the grass.

“What do you want?” She asks. Not really feeling the company right now.

“You haven’t been spending much time with George lately. Have you been spending more time with Max?”

“No.” Straight to the point. But not really the point Lewis was looking for.

“Have you been spending time with Charles and Carlos? Since you’re spending so much time with Ferrari at the moment?”

“Would that be a crime?” She looks at Lewis, and he sees something different. Her eyes don't look as alive as they usually do. They’re missing the glow that makes yn herself.

“Yn, is something wrong? You know you can talk to me. Or Max,” he waits for a second, not sure if he should continue, but as she starts plucking at the grass without answering he decides she needs to know. “Your dad is worried about you.”

“Oh.” She answers, plucking a few more grass straws

“Did something happen?” Lewis asks, trying a different approach.

“I don't know. Maybe you should ask Lando.” Lewis is unsure what Lando has to do with this entire situation, but he promised Fred to get to the bottom of it, so he will.

“Did he do anything?” Lewis is ready to fight Lando. “If so, I’ll gladly talk to him”

“Well, maybe he’ll talk to you,” yn shrugs and gets up from the grass. “I have no idea what I did to him. He seemed happy enough about me being invited to join him, Oscar, and Charles for lunch a couple months ago, and then during lunch he was so quiet, barely looking up from his food and then he suddenly said he wasn’t feeling great and needed to leave.” Yn turns around and looks at Lewis, tears starting to form in her eyes. “He has ignored me ever since. Every time I’ve tried to talk to him he either runs away or makes up some dumb excuse to get away from me,” she wraps her arms around herself as if to protect herself. “I’m sorry,” she says, shakes her head and turns around again and starts walking away. “I shouldn't have put all of this on you. I'm probably just overthinking it anyway.”

"Wait!" Lewis is quick to get up from the grass and gets a hold of yn’s arm, ”I’m glad you told me. Let me talk to Lando. See if I can figure out why he’s avoiding you. Maybe there’s a reason,” yn smiles a small smile, but it’s better than the empty expressions she's had lately. “Nice to see you’re still capable of smiling.” Lewis returns it with a smile of his own and guides her towards the Mclaren hospitality. “Now let’s get to the bottom of this.”

“Thank you. Not just for this, but also for always putting up with my bullshit.” Yn looks straight ahead. She wasn’t exactly planning on saying any of that, but oh well. It won’t hurt anyone. 

Lewis just laughs and pushes her lightly. “You should be grateful. It's impossible to keep putting up with it.” If he wasn’t laughing while saying it, she would have been hurt, but she just laughs with him and follows him, to hopefully get some answers from Lando.

~~~

Lando was not expecting to see Lewis, so he wasn’t able to run off as quickly as he usually does, and when he spots yn behind Lewis, he tries to make up some excuse about having to talk to an engineer about a possible car problem but Lewis stops him. “Lando. That’s enough.” He puts a hand on Lando's shoulder before he gets a chance to run off. “Why do you keep running away from yn?”

Lando sighs, he can’t run away from it anymore. “I kinda would prefer for this conversation to happen between just me and yn.” He runs a hand through his hair and down the back of his neck. 

Lewis looks back at yn, then at Lando, then back at yn, “are you fine with that?” He asks, while she nods and follows Lando into his drivers room

“So.” Lando starts, not really sure how to get the conversation going.

“Why have you been ignoring me for the past 4 months?” Yn asks, wanting to get this solved as soon as possible. “Did I say something that upset you so much during lunch that day?” Yn can feel the tears threatening to spill over, but she would like to get through this conversation without crying.

“No! Oh my god. Not at all!” He turns around because he’s not sure he can look at her while telling her this. “I think I might, sort of, have feelings for you.” The room is filled with silence. Lando is almost afraid she ran out of the room, If it wasn't for the fact he could hear her breathing. 

“So you decided the best action was to avoid me?” Yn asks, with a playful grin. If she had known this was all it was she would have had someone talk to him earlier. 

Her playful tone makes Lando turn around with a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have ignored you or run off every time you tried talking to me. I was just afraid I would end up spilling a full love confession, and I’m not sure your dad would be too happy with that.”

“Well he doesn’t get a say in my love life.” Yn closes the distance between her and Lando. 

“I suppose you’re right.” Lando takes a step forward, making the distance between them smaller.

“So are you going to be doing anything about it?” Yn tilts her head slightly.

“When I have planned it,” Lando smiles and takes a step back as he feels a vibration in his pocket. “Damn, I actually do have to go now,” a text from his engineer asking him to come back for a meeting. Lando grins and walks towards the door, “but you're totally free to stay here until I’m back. And trust me, I’ll be spending the entire meeting planning the perfect way to ask you out.” He flashes a quick smile before he's out of the door and yn is left alone in the room. But this time being all alone is different. She doesn't feel all alone. She’s the happiest she’s been in four months.

~~~

“I have the perfect plan.” Lando and Oscar are doing a track walk just to have something to do and make sure the track is fresh in their memory for the practice the next day. 

“Yeah?” Oscar isn’t really sure it’s going to be as perfect as Lando thinks it is. “Are you totally sure about that?” He questions, raising an eyebrow, while taking in the surroundings of Monaco.

“I’m 100% sure.” Lando nods. He knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s in fact not going to ask directly. He’s made a fun little game, and got a few drivers in on it. “Just promise me to not ruin it when she comes to you.” Oscar sighs. He obviously isn’t going to spoil it.

“How are you going to ask her? If you aren’t doing it directly.”

“That’s a surprise.” And no matter how much Oscar pushes, Lando doesn't tell. Just smiles and shakes his head.

The next day when yn arrives at the paddock Alex greets her as soon as she’s arrived. “For you.” He says and hands her a letter.

“For me?” Her face is full of confusion as she opens the letter. 

“Dear yn, I’ve made a little scavenger hunt for you. I hope you’re going to have fun. At the end you’ll find a surprise. Here’s the first clue.”

That’s the end of the letter. “So what's the clue?” If anything she's even more confused now, it doesn’t even say who it's from. It could be from George. But she doubts it. He’s never done anything like this before.

“Oh right, I almost forgot,” Alex rushes and pulls a small lego car from his backpack. more specifically a Mclaren lego car.

“So I'm guessing I have to go to Mclaren?” She questions and looks at Alex who just shrugs. So that’s where she heads to next. Who knows how long this is going to last. She does think it’s going to be fun though. She’s always loved clues.

As she gets closer to the Mclaren garage she finds Oscar standing looking around holding a letter in his hand. As he notices her, he walks towards her. “Here. From a mystery man.” He says, hands her the letter and walks off trying to look mysterious.

Yn laughs and opens the letter. This time, there’s no text. Just a card. “Happy fathers day.” She reads out loud. That’s all the card says. “I guess that means i’ll have to go to my dad?” She wonders out loud. Would this person involve her dad? Would her dad want to be involved? “Hm, probably just ferrari.” She says as she notices the card is mostly red.

She walks over to the Ferrari garage but can't find anything and decides it might be at the hospitality. As she enters the building she notices Carlos standing with a smile on his face and a whistle in his hands. “Here you go.” He hands her the whistle as she reaches him. 

“That's it? Not a letter? Anything to guide me more than-'' she looks down at the whistle now in her hand, “a whistle?” She looks back up at Carlos who looks around.

“Consider the first letter of the whistle.” He whispers and quickly walks off, whistling. 

“The first letter of whistle is w. So..” she thinks for a second. “Williams?” She laughs and quickly walks over to the Williams hospitality, but to her surprise finds no one, and decides it must be their garage then.

Here she finds Logan happily holding a small boat toy. “For you.” He says and hands it to her. Happy to be included. She smiles and wonders if this is the last one.

“Thank you, Logan.” She sends him a smile and walks to the dock to find a boat. Not really sure which type of boat, big or small. But she’s determined to find it. 

When she gets to the dock, she fears it’s going to take a long time, until she spots Charles casually sitting on a yacht. As she approaches she notices a full basket of red bulls sitting beside him. “I guess I’m going back to the track. To Red Bull. Their garage?” She is sure to get those 10k steps she’s supposed to get every day. 

“Yeah, if you want something to drink on your walk, I have plenty,” he pushes the basked towards yn and gestures for her to bring it, “in fact, let me join you on the way back, I was only sent here to give you the clue, and I don't drink Red Bull, so I can return it.” He smiles and gets up, taking the basket full of cans. “Are you having fun so far?” Charles starts walking back towards the track with yn following.

“Yeah. It’s a lot of fun,” she answers as she opens a can of the regular Red Bull, "I'm excited to see who set all of this up though” she looks ahead and takes a sip of the can.

“I can’t wait for you to see who arranged it,” he says. And that’s all he says. Yn tries to get more clues about who it is, but Charles’ mouth is shut. He’s not letting anything slip. And they arrive at Red Bull way earlier than yn was expecting so she doesn't get nearly enough time to interrogate Charles about who it is. 

“I see you’ve come to terms with the fact Red Bull is the best.” Max teases as Charles and yn are within hearing range of a normal voice. While holding a bouquet of flowers?

“Ha ha ha,” Charles smiles, as he hands Max the basket full of red bull cans, “I’m just keeping yn company, and decided to return these as I won’t be able to drink them.” Charles laughs and gets into a conversation with Max until yn clears her throat, reminding them she’s still there.

“I’m looking for a clue,” she says, begging that it's close to being over because she’s tired of walking from one side of the track to another over and over.

“Oh right,” Max hands her the bouquet of flowers he was holding. She takes them in her hand and her eyebrows furrow.

“What kind of clue is this?” She looks at Max whose eyes go wide.

“I forgot this.” He pulls a letter out from his pocket and hands it to her.

“Another letter. Is this the last one? I don't know how much more walking I can do.” She looks so defeated but reads the note.

“If you received this letter, that means you figured out all the clues. I know you were just there, but you can find me on Charles’ yacht. Where the big surprise is waiting.”

She looks up as she finishes reading. “He’s got to be kidding. I swear to fucking god, if this is George and he just made me walk from that yacht, back to the track and then back to that stupid yacht i’m going to go insane.” You look back at the letter. 

“My yacht isn’t stupid.” Charles pouts as Max hits him on the arm. “Ow?”

Yn sighs, “I guess I’ll get going. Thanks for the flowers I suppose.” 

“Oh they were not from me. They were from him. Just hurry up,” Max looks down at his phone, “practice starts kinda soon, and he can’t be late.” Yn starts walking back towards the yacht. She can't wait to kill the man that made her walk this much.

Lando however has been setting everything up ever since yn and Charles left. Strawberries covered in chocolate, and since he doesn't like chocolate, strawberries without chocolate, candles on a small table on the sun deck. As yn gets closer, Lando walks down to greet her. “I swear to fucking god George if this is yo-” her sentence gets cut short as soon as she sees Lando. “You set all of this up?”

“Yeah. You didn’t seem to like it that much?” Lando rubs the back of his neck. He wasn’t the best planner of a scavenger hunt.

“I kinda wasn’t the biggest fan of walking all the way out here, back to the track and then back here again.” She crosses her arms, but seeing the concerned look on Lando’s face she relaxes her arms and walks onto the yacht with a huge smile. “It was still kinda fun.” 

They spend a little while on the boat, sitting with their feet almost touching the ocean. Lando is not really sure if he should put an arm around her or not. He decides not to move too quickly and they just sit next to each other. “Oh I almost forgot,” she turns and looks at Lando. “I was supposed to tell you to hurry up, practice starts soon and you can’t be late,” she looks down at the strawberries, “but you distracted me.”

“Oh shit!” He gets up quickly and puts his shoes on, “meet me at the track! I would love to spend some time with you between practice 1 and 2!” He hurries up and practically runs all the way to the track.

~~~

For the next couple of weeks Lando spends a lot of time wondering how quickly to move forward. They spend a lot of time sitting near water, almost like the first time, except they don't have access to Charles' yacht every day. Every time Lando wonders if he should put an arm around her, but he never does. Until one day, when they’ve been sitting at the end of the gangway on the dock, their feet so close to the water, if they stretched them out their toes would be dipped in the water, and Lando’s arm comes closer and closer to making its way around yn. “Just do it already,” she says and leans on him, putting her head on his shoulder, “I've been waiting for the last many weeks for you to do it.” Lando can’t help but let out a small laugh and put his arm around her. 

“I wasn’t sure if you even wanted it.” He looks down at her quickly before looking back at the water. 

“I've been waiting for you to make some sort of move, so I knew if it would be appropriate to do this.” She says, as she sits back up straight and puts her hands on Lando’s cheeks and pulls his face closer. He puts his hands on her waist and pulls her closer while making sure none of them fall into the water. Her lips meet his softly, a tentative brush that sends a wave of electricity through her body. The kiss deepened, growing in confidence, and everything else faded away. All that existed was the two of them.

When they finally break apart, Lando puts his forehead against hers, a smile stuck on his face. He would never be able to forget this moment, and she wouldn’t either. “I’ve dreamed of this moment ever since that time Charles invited you to lunch.” Lando shares, not aware that yn has shared the same feeling since he shared that he had feelings for her.

“I was sure you’d do something about it sooner.” Yn lets out a small laugh and leans against Lando’s shoulder as he puts his arm around her.

“I was too afraid you didn't want to,” he says and lets out a sigh. “And I guess I just never thought to just ask.” 

“Well, you should have.” She smiles, before looking up at him, and he can’t help but smile back. They sit like that for a while. Just enjoying each other's company.

~~~

A couple weeks later, when they’re lying on the couch in Lando’s apartment, watching a movie, yn can’t help but smile, thinking about this moment, and how she never thought this would be a reality in her life. “Can you believe it?” She says in a soft whisper, her voice barely even audible.

“Believe what?” Lando asks, while his other hand mindlessly runs through the soft strands of her hair.

“This. Us. I never thought I’d be in such a happy relationship while traveling so much.” She says, softly tracing small circles on the back of his hand, that’s draped across her waist.

“Well I’m glad you're happy,” He says, placing a kiss on the top of her head, earning a soft hum from the woman. “You know, you could bring some stuff here. Just enough for a drawer if you don’t want to get too serious.” He mumbles, nuzzling his head into the crook of her neck.

She can’t help but smile, because she had been thinking of asking. “That would be nice, especially considering how much time I spend here.” She brings his hand up to her lips and places a soft kiss there, before going back to the movie.

~~~

It didn't take long for her to basically move in. It wasn’t official, but it might as well have been. She spent more time there than she did at her own home. But Lando didn’t mind. In fact, he loved having her there. They even started spending time together publicly, whether that was around Monaco when it wasn’t a race week, or if it was in the paddock. The fans had noticed how close they had gotten, and speculation quickly began. Were they a couple? Just friends? No one knew. Did Fred? No. But he wasn’t stupid, he knew something was going on, but he didn’t want to ask. But he didn’t mind, as long as yn was happy. And she was, for the first couple of months. And then it seemed like Lando had other priorities. Of course she knew racing was important to him, and she didn’t expect to suddenly be on the absolute top of his priority list, that would always be F1 and she knew that. However, that didn’t stop the feeling of neglect starting to spread through her. She knew he had a packed schedule, but she would often find herself wishing he had more time for her, yet it just seemed he got less and less time for her.

As the relationship between them progresses, small arguments make it to the surface. Usually sparked by the fact yn feels unimportant, or that Lando misses a date or an anniversary. It’s never his intention, and he always makes it clear that he loves her, but as it continues to get worse and worse, she begins to question it. She even stops believing him 100%.

It was 2 am. Lando had just returned back to the hotel after the race in Singapore. He silently opened the door to the room he was sharing with yn, expecting her to already be sound asleep on the bed, but to his surprise she was sitting up, leaning against the headboard with the bedside lamp on.

“Can we talk?” She asks, her voice soft but filled with a hint of vulnerability.

“Of course.” Lando quickly closes the door and walks over to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Look, I know racing is extremely important to you, that it’s everything to you, but,” she pauses for a moment, not really sure how he’s going to take this. “What about us?” She asks, her voice shaking slightly.

“I know it’s been tough, and I’ve not been the best, but I’m under a lot of pressure right now,” Lando looks up at her and he can see the way his words hurt, and he can’t help the defensive tone that creeps into his voice. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“Didn’t have a choice? You’ve always had a choice! You chose to sign up for all those PR events. All the additional promotional videos. Do you know how it feels to always be the last thing on your mind?” Her voice raises a little as the frustration takes over, and she searches Lando’s eyes for a reaction, just some sort of reaction.

“I never wanted you to feel that way,” Lando sighs and looks her in the eye, he genuinely never wanted her to feel like she was his last priority. “But this is my career, it’s what I’ve worked towards my entire life.” 

“And where do I fit into that? When you talk about your future, you’re talking about your next race, the next podium, the next win. I can’t continue to just sit back and wait for you to finally have time for me. I can’t continue to just be a spectator in your life, Lando.” The hurt is visible on her face, and she turns away momentarily to look out the window. The rain is subtly falling outside, and small drops of water roll down the window.

“I thought you understood when we got together.” He says, trying to defend himself. “This is my life, my dream. I never wanted you to feel like you're not important.” His voice softens, but his tone is still defensive as he tries to avoid addressing the core issue.

“I did understand. And I’ve been nothing but supportive, but it’s been months of you forgetting a date, or something else. And I’m not asking you to quit racing, I would never do that. All I’m asking is that I become a priority too. Because right now it feels like you’ve made a choice. And it’s not me.” Tears start to swell up in yn's eyes, and Lando is at a loss for words. He never wanted it to get to this point, but he doesn’t know what to say. He looks away, and that’s the last straw for yn. She swings her legs off the bed and grabs her suitcase that she packed as soon as she returned from the race, since they were planning to leave early in the morning anyway. “I’ll give you some time to think about all of this. But I won’t be waiting forever. Figure out if this is something you want. Because I can’t keep doing this.” And with those words she leaves the hotel room, and into the elevator.

She walks out into the rain, with tears flowing freely from her eyes. She stops and takes a deep breath. She doesn’t want it to end between her and Lando, but she also can’t continue to just be a bystander in her own relationship. As she grabs her suitcase and is about to begin walking she hears Landos voice. “Wait!” 

She turns around and sees him walking in long strides toward her, the rain already drenching his hair. “I don't want to lose you. I’ll never leave you alone again,” he says as he reaches her. “I remember how it felt when we were sitting by the water on our first unofficial date. Every time I look at you, it’s like I’m seeing you for the first time all over again. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He places a hand on her cheek and gently rubs his thumb along her cheekbones. “Please don’t leave. We’ll make it work. I’ll make time for you. You’ll be my first priority, I promise.”

She looks up at him with an aching heart at the raw emotion in his voice. For a moment she wants to believe him, to just forget all the missed moments, but the pain is still too much. 

“You say that now, but what happens when life gets busy again?” She asks in a whisper, her voice shaking as she speaks. “What happens when I become the last thing on your mind again because something else takes priority?”

Lando’s hand trembles slightly against her cheek, but he doesnt pull away, and neither does she. The rain falls a little harder, and their breaths are visible in the cool air of the night.

“I won't let that happen.” His voice is filled with an urgency, a need, that she’s never heard before. “I know i’ve failed you, but this time-”

“”This time,” she interrupts him and takes a step back, resulting in his hand slipping from her cheek. “How do I know this time is any different?” She looks at him with tearfilled eyes, waiting for an answer she might not want. But it doesn’t come. Instead, Lando takes a step closer and his eyes are filled with so much love and hope.

“Because this time, I know what it’s like to lose you,” his voice is trembling and he pauses for a moment, searching for the right words. “And I can’t. I can't lose you.”

[kaleldobrev]

Hauled Up

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Summary: Sam recruits you to try and convince Dean to stop hauling up in his room

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Cursing (1x), Mutual pining & Fluff

Authors Note: Takes place in season 14 | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

As you were watching some Netflix, there was a hefty knock on your bedroom door. You had hoped that it was Dean who was knocking as you hadn't seen him in pretty much a few weeks since he had gotten back, but you knew that was a long shot. "Come in!" You called out, pausing the program that you were watching.

About two seconds later, Sam appeared, and he looked insanely drained and tired; something that's been pretty much normal for him over the last few weeks. Between helping the hunters who had come from the Apocalypse World and trying to find any information on where Dean/Michael could have been. Thankfully with Dean back, the only thing really draining him now was making sure the "newbies" knew how to handle certain cases on their own or through team-ups.

"Hey, can you do me a favor?" Sam asked, his voice sounding a little hesitant.

"Sure, what is it?" You asked. It could be a numerous amount of things as while Dean was gone, you had became Sam's right hand, assisting him with the other hunters. You were either helping to find cases, going on team-ups, cooking giant meals for everyone that could last days, or bandaging people up when they came back from a hunt.

"I need you to try and get Dean out from his room. He's been hauled up there for weeks. It's not good for him," Sam said, sighing a little.

"I think he just wants to be alone Sam. I mean, I don't really blame him. He was gone for weeks, and then when he came back, he came back to a place full of people that he doesn't know, not just us," you stated. You couldn't imagine what Dean went through while Michael was possessing him doing God Know's What. As much as you didn't mind having the other hunter's here, you knew that with these other hunters here, Dean couldn't really be himself even if he wanted to be. "Why can't you try and get him out?"

"I think you're the only person that might be able to," Sam stated.

"And why do you think I'd be able to convince him?" You questioned, raising a brow.

Sam looked at you, giving you one of those 'you know exactly why' look. It wasn't a secret that you and Dean had feelings for each other, and have had these feelings for each other for the past couple of years. It was one of those things that even though neither one of you had directly said to each other that you have these feelings; it was kind of a known fact how the two of you felt about each other.

You sighed. "I can try."

Walking into the kitchen, you had decided that one of the things that you were going to do in order to try and convince Dean to come out of his room was bring apple pie as a kind of offering to him.

As you gathered the ingredients, one of the hunters from the Apocalypse World walked into the kitchen with a big smile on their face. "You making apple pie Y/N?" He asked, rubbing his hands together.

You nodded. "Yeah, I'm making a pie for Dean," you said, starting to chop up the apples.

The man sat down at the counter, and even though you didn't directly look up at him, you could have sworn that he rolled his eyes at your response. As much as you had wanted to comment, you decided to ignore it. "Anything that I can help you with?" You asked.

"Hoping you can make this pie for me instead of Dean," he stated. Instead of the eyeroll like he had done before it was a wink; and it took all you could not to roll your own eyes.

"I remember you saying how much you hated apple pie," you stated, putting the apples into a bowl of cinnamon sugar.

"But I've never had your apple pie Sweetheart," he said, winking again.

This time, you had decided to say something, as you did not like when someone other than Dean had called you Sweetheart. "It's Y/N, not Sweetheart."

"It's just a nickname Y/N," he said. "Lighten up."

Before you could comment any further, you heard someone clear their throat in the doorway; and when the two of you looked up, looking into that direction, it was Sam with a clipboard in his hand. "Jones, shouldn't you be getting ready for your wendigo hunt with Xander?"

Jones looked at Sam for a moment, before looking at you. "Can't wait to eat this when I get back," he winked, getting up from his spot at the counter and making his way out of the kitchen.

As soon as Jones was out of the earshot, Sam sat down on the same stool that Jones was sitting at a few seconds before. "I could have handled that myself you know," you stated, giving the piecrust a gentle coating of butter to make sure that it didn't completely burn in the oven.

"I know, I'm sorry," Sam said, slightly sighing. "Gonna try bribery?" He asked, pointing to the pie.

"I call it motivation," you shrugged.

With the pie finally done, you placed it onto a tray along with two forks and a pint of vanilla ice cream. You doubted you'd be able to convince Dean to come out of his room, but maybe you can convince him to at least share some of the apple pie that you had made for him with you so he could at least have some kind of social interaction.

Lifting up the tray, you took a deep breath and made your way out of the kitchen, heading to Dean's room.

Upon coming up to his door, it was shut like it has been the last several weeks, the sounds of his television blasting as he watched a horror movie (which sounded remotely like the All Saint's Day series to you, as you thought you could vaguely hear Hatchet Man's voice).

Knocking on the door, you heard Dean sigh loudly and pause the television. "Fuck off," he said, his voice annoyed.

"I don't really want to eat this apple pie by myself," you said, your voice a little low.

You heard Dean get up from his bed, slightly sighing. A few seconds later, his door opened and he looked down at you as you held the tray in your hands. "Sam put you up to this?" He asked.

"He asked me to try and convince you to come out of your room. But, I know I wouldn't be able to convince you, so, I decided to make some apple pie for us to share together instead," you smiled.

Dean eyed you and the pie for a moment before stepping to the side. "I'm watching All Saint's Day two," he said.

"Perfect," you said, stepping inside his room.

"Thanks for trying not to convince me," Dean said, between bites. "You're the only one I feel like gets it." He knew that you were the only person to get it, as you and him always seemed to be on similar wavelengths.

"I might not necessarily know what you went through but...I just know for me, if I came back to a Bunker full of strangers, I'd want to haul up in my room too," you said, wiping your mouth.

"You outdid yourself this time with the pie," he commented.

"It's how I always make it," you said.

Dean shrugged. "I don't know tastes...better than usual."

"Probably because you haven't had it in a while," you stated.

"Probably," he agreed.

"I hope you enjoyed your pie," you smiled, grabbing the tray; no more pie or ice cream in sight.

"I did, thanks," Dean said, sitting on the edge of the bed as he watched you make your way to his bedroom door. "You didn't have to make it for me by the way. I know you've been busy with all the other hunters."

"Dean, I wanted to," you began, walking back to the bed where he was and placed the tray of empty dishes next to him. "Besides, I'll never be too busy for you," you stated, taking his hand in yours and giving it a gentle squeeze. "You mean a lot to me Dean, you know that," you added.

The feeling of your hand in his was one that he longed for these past couple of weeks, but he didn't necessarily know how to ask for it. "You mean a lot to me too," he stated. More than you'll ever realize, he wanted to add. He took your other hand in his as he stood up from his spot on the bed gently looking down at you.

"Want to help me with the dishes and then we can come back in here and do something?" You asked him. "We can either watch something or just go to sleep; up to you," you softly smiled.

"I'd like for us to take a drive together. Feel like Baby's been neglected these past few months I've been away," he grinned; a brief chuckle leaving his lips.

"I'd like that," you smiled.

Tag List: @roseblue373 @beansproutmafia @queenie32 @deanwanddamons @missy420-0 @octoberclidan @kidwhofixates @crystal555 @hannahisthebanana @seamlessepiphany @madzzz0797 @livingordeadwhoknows @writinginfear @Roskar16 @syrma-sensei @k-slla @justletmereadfanfic @deans-daydream @midorimachisenpaii @rachiem4-blog @taraswifes @zepskies @jackles010378 @mrsjenniferwinchester @globetrotter28 @deans-spinster-witch @mrlonelycat @frozenhuntress67 @coldspoons @androah If you'd like to be added to a tag list please follow this link

[sunny44]

Reunions on the track

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Ex best friend!reader

Warnings: fights

Summary: Charles and Y/n have known each other since they were five years old, but with the start of his motorsport career they lost touch.

Years later, when Charles was driving for Ferrari in Formula 1 and Y/n had a degree in photography, their paths crossed again when she was hired as the team's new photographer.

I was accustomed to the Formula 1 circus.

The roar of engines, the team's hustle and bustle, cameras always pointed in his direction. But on this sunny morning, I was surprised with something or someone to be more specific. I entered the Scuderia Ferrari pitlane and that’s when I saw her, with her back turned to him, skillfully handling a camera. Y/n. Her name echoed in his mind like an echo from the past.

I assumed from the camera in her hand that she had filled the vacancy at Ferrari.

"Are you kidding me?" Charles muttered, addressing Mattia Binotto, the head of the Ferrari team. "Is Y/n here?"

Mattia smiled, as if he knew this could cause turbulence.

“Surprise, Charles. She’s our new photographer. Y/n has an incredible eye for capturing the most intense moments of the races.”

I made an effort to control the flood of emotions rising in me. Me and Y/n had been inseparable friends since childhood, but we drifted apart over time, especially when my career in motorsport took off.

We hadn't spoken in years, and now she is here, on the same team as me.

Our friendship was perfect, we had known each other forever, and I remember our mothers saying that we would definitely get married if we just got older. Over time, I realized that I had feelings for her, and I was willing to wait until we were old enough and then confess my feelings to her. But then everything changed.

I started rapidly advancing through categories, and then I just stopped talking to her.

I stood there for a few minutes just looking at her until Y/n finally turned around, and their gazes met. It wasn't a warm and joyful reunion. On the contrary, there was a moment of tense silence before Y/n broke it.

"Charles Leclerc, the Ferrari golden boy." she said, with a sarcastic smile. "Who would have thought you'd become so famous, huh?"

Charles felt his face grow warm.

“Don’t start Y/n.”

"Don't start? You just disappear from my life when you started winning races, and I'm the one who can't say anything?"

I don't know why, but I didn't think she would be this hostile.

"I was busy, Y/n. You know how life is in F1."

"Busy or not, you could have found a way to stay in touch. But, of course, you had more important things to do than to care about me." She looked at me, hurt. "But who am I to blame you, right? After all, with fame and beautiful models hanging on your neck all the time, I wouldn't mean anything to you anyway."

Those words hit Charles like a punch in the stomach. He knew he had made mistakes, but he never imagined that Y/n was so hurt.

"I'm sorry, Y/n. I should have been a better friend." She let out an exasperated sigh.

"It doesn't matter anymore. I'm here to do my job," she said sternly. "You just need to pretend that I mean nothing to you; I don't think it will be that difficult."

I simply nodded, realizing that the situation was far from resolved. While the engines roared in the background, indicating that I had to get into the car next.

And, of course, I spent the entire practice session thinking about how to have her back in my life.

Bonus scene!

Yourusername instagram stories

“First day of work done”

Y/n.jpg nstagram post

Liked by @lando.jpg, @Scuderiaferrari, @charlesleclerc and @maxverstappen

Y/n.jpg My dream came true and I’m in Monaco photographing the formula 1 Grand Prix

This is the best weekend of my life and here’s a few photos 🏎️

F1 welcome to the f1 family

Maxverstappen nice photos

Liked by y/n.jpg

Landonorris hello there

Carlossainz welcome to the team

Y/n.jpg thank you

[nukaberries]

Hi! Can I have the non-human companions' reaction to a male sole that is very protective of them? Like if they're at a bar and someone shouts "get out of here freak/bucket of bolts/etc" he's beating the crap out of them immediately and when he's done he just goes back to the said companion and is all caring like "are you ok? Do you need anything?" Djdjfnfnejjr p l e a s e I've had this idea for so long

Non-human companions will always have a special place in my heart (especially Hancock because characters from Goodneighbor will always be superior to me), so this ask is really fun! Besides, I'm pretty sure every Hancock or Valentine fan has sided against the Brotherhood just for this reason. Also I have a feeling I could be missing someone, since I almost forgot Codsworth and Strong, so please let me know if I am, I can just add them on lmao

//

Non-Human Companions React to M!Sole Being Protective (Includes: Curie, Codsworth, Hancock, Nick, Strong and X6-88)

Curie She insists that Sole didn't have to go to all that trouble for her, she understands that some people are bound to dislike her simply based on her appearance and although that can be disheartening, she's come to accept it. She's a little shocked by how Sole reacts, he's never been particularly violent if he can help it, but it's more how quickly his mood changes afterwards when he goes to check on her that catches her more off guard than anything. She can't help but feel touched by the gesture though, it's nice to know that there's someone willing to look out for her.

Codsworth The Commonwealth is a lot different than it was 210 years ago, Codsworth still remembers the days when people would clamour at the opportunity to have their very own Mr. Handy. Now, all he seems to be is target practice or scrap metal to the inhabitants of the wasteland. Nevertheless, that doesn't mean he's immune to how some people tend to treat him. While Sole's act of violence is quite concerning to him, Codsworth does find himself grateful that his old friend is willing to defend him against the abuse he's become accustomed to. Codsworth assures Sole he's fine and insists that he doesn't cause so much ruckus on his behalf, but he will make a point to thank him profusely for caring, even if he is just a robot butler.

Hancock While Goodneighbor is more than welcoming to people from all walks of life, Hancock isn't blind to the treatment of his kind outside the walls. He'd seen it with his own brother in Diamond City and Hancock wishes that he'd fought as hard for the exiled ghouls as Sole had just fought for him. The name calling doesn't bother him, really, he's heard it all before and he can handle himself. What catches him off guard is Sole beating the bigot that had insulted him to a pulp. He does figure that Sole might owe him one, considering Hancock had handled Finn for him the day they'd met. Still, he assures Sole that he's fine and clarifies that he can fight his own battles, not that the show Sole had put on wasn't entertaining to watch.

Nick Valentine Being around as long as Nick has, he knows what people think of his kind and sometimes it can be hard to blame them. The Institute are dangerous and they've taken countless lives for their own selfish gain, even though it's not his fault he has to walk around looking like their poster boy, he can understand why people might take out their frustration on him. Of course, that doesn't mean he isn't quick to bite back to defend himself. On this occasion though, Sole was quicker and much more vicious and Nick had barely managed to comprehend what had just happened before Sole was back at his side asking if he was okay. Nick was fine, as usual, and only might a slightly irritated remark about Sole using his words next time rather than his fists, before thanking him.

Strong He doesn't really understand the insult being thrown at him and, although he definitely will try to join in, he isn't too sure as to why Sole is attacking a random civilian. Once Sole has made sure that Strong is okay - which, of course, he is - and once he's explained what had just happened and why, Strong isn't particularly bothered, he knows Super Mutants are the superior race, the comments of a "puny human" won't change that.

X6-88 A snide remark from a worthless scavenger means absolutely nothing to him, but apparently it means a lot to Sole, who doesn't hesitate to give the scavenger a beatdown and make him apologise to X6. He decides to wait, rather impatiently, for Sole to be done, before asking that he doesn't cause such a scene again for something so meaningless. Deep down though, Sole knows that's his way of saying thank you.

[tealvenetianmask]

new to the fandom, hello. i've seen a few posts on your blog about blitz's bad spelling being rooted in dyslexia, however i've noticed that all imps seem to have bad spelling, all the way back to flashbacks of the circus.

one could argue i suppose that spellings seen at the circus are written by his dad, and that dyslexia runs in the family. but i think the consistent imp misspellings are intended as another indication of how lower class imps are - that they are uneducated, perhaps not allowed to receive education, and thus don't know *how* to spell.

Welcome. I disagree, and I think you expected that.

I'll start with the claim you based everything on.

"I've noticed that all imps seem to have bad spelling, all the way back to flashbacks of the circus."

Now, I really dug. And I could only find one example of something spelled incorrectly in any of the circus flashbacks. This is from "Oops."

Okay. Someone spelled fireworks comically wrong. My bet is Cash (whatever the cause), and idk... we haven't seen a pattern. Just the one example. Maybe he's dyslexic too. Maybe he's poorly educated (more on that later). But that would all be more in the headcanon realm for me.

Other things are spelled correctly at the circus.

The only other non-Blitz example of an imp being unable to spell something is Striker in "Mastermind" struggling to spell/say grimoire. But who can blame him? I struggle to spell grimoire, and I'm a human with a masters degree.

Beyond that, Fizzarolli, Millie, and Moxxie (you know . . . all the secondary imp characters) are shown spelling things correctly.

Fizz uses shorthand and repeats letters for emphasis here and there, but all of the words that he fully spells out are spelled correctly. There's nothing that can really be called a spelling mistake here.

The same can be said about Millie's texts in "Seeing Stars." She uses shorthand, but it seems intentional. You can compare her spelling to Blitz's directly here. "Mackin" in this context just doesn't have a slangy/shorthand explanation in the same way. Neither does "were" for "where." This is because spelling is automatic for Millie, but it isn't for Blitz. He's using phonetic(ish) guesses.

We also have Moxxie writing down a report that Blitz dictates in "Mission: Antarctica."

The guy can spell perfectly.

But-- honestly? You only have to be familiar with Moxxie as a character to know that his spelling would be flawless . . . For example, look at how he calls Blitz out for his spelling and grammar in "Spring Broken."

Blitz is the ONLY character with a recurring pattern of poor spelling. And if the writers didn't want us to make something of it, they wouldn't keep showing it to us in almost every episode. Now his spelling isn't always bad (he does alright in his apology notes and then in his reports in the shorts- IF Moxxie isn't still writing for him). And I wrote a piece of meta here that explains why I think it might show a form of self-accommodation that's super common for people with learning disabilities.

Now. I'd like to talk about imps and education briefly. Yes, imps are marginalized by their society, often poor, and expected to work for higher demons. But I don't think they have it much worse in terms of education and daily life than say . . . marginalized people in today's real life societies. Their roles are more rigid, yes, but they do hold a range of jobs and participate fully in demon life in multiple rings of Hell.

Are imps on average less well educated than demons higher on Hell's hierarchy? Yes, I'm sure. But remember, Blitz tells us he dropped out of a college, and for that he'd have to be . . . you know, allowed to start at one. And we see imps being very competent consistently. I haven't seen anything that suggests that they're not allowed to be educated (though they're pretty clearly not allowed to access magical artifacts), so I suspect that most imps receive a basic education.

Now do some marginalized people in real life end up illiterate (completely or in part) either because their education is horribly disrupted or inadequate or because they have a learning disability that isn't properly addressed? YES. Do some people with dyslexia still struggle to spell in daily life even if they're well educated and absolutely literate? Also yes.

Imps have a range of experiences in a society that is complex (even if it's in the process of being fleshed out) and reflects our own in many ways.

Blitz is dyslexic. Thanks for reading.

[rrennie]

gojo satoru x reader female !

single part

one shot ! English

warnings: age difference, gojo cheater, sad end(?), violence.

LONESOME QUEEN.

I sighed looking at the ceiling of my room. How long have I been like this? I don't know, but I can't stop doing it either. I know it's wrong, but I can't control it, I love him.

I wish I had never met him, he is a man with his life resolved, why doesn't he let me go? I want to stop suffering, waiting for him when I know he won't reach my arms. He is not mine.

When I was little I was warned about not trusting strangers. Damn the day where I trust that stranger with white hair, the most beautiful I have ever seen in my life. But I was only 19 years old. I hate him, why did he lie to me? I thought he loved me.

I see him every day with her, she is so beautiful, she has big breasts and her face has no blemishes. Her hair is pretty, her natural blonde color doesn't match mine, black as night. It's so silky, I can tell from here. Congratulations, you will be a father. A dream I thought I would have with you.

I yelled at you once because you told me you were separating, but two months later you married her. The only thing I could do was cry, break down in front of you... But you just laughed and told me "You're so pretty when you cry."

I wanted you to love me, I wanted you to be mine, like I was yours. I thought you belonged to me, but in reality you were always hers. The times they fought you came to me, I always welcomed you with open arms thinking that something would change. I thought you would stay with me at dawn.

Every time I close my eyes, the most beautiful memories of us come back, but then I remember that you ran the moment she called. And I know I shouldn't say this, but she knows I'll be there when she kisses you and I know you know it too. Because I left that mark on you.

A message came to my phone.

I left the phone next to me on the couch, sighed and brought my arm to my eyes and threw my head back. Tears slowly came out of my eyes. I'm so tired of this, I hate it so much.

A few minutes later, the doorbell rang. I went to the door walking reluctantly, so slowly that Satoru had to ring the bell again. Although I know him, he is very impatient.

Upon opening, his bright smile makes my heart pump harder. But I hate it, I don't want to feel this anymore.

─ Love. ─ he said and hugged me. ─ I missed you. ─ His words resonate with me so empty and monotonous. When I put my nose on the collar of his shirt, the smell that emanates is not the same as always. It's a woman's. She knows it, she knows she came to see me.

And I felt terrible. I frowned in pain. Satoru was a bad person, leaving his pregnant wife behind for a college student who was just starting out in the real world.

He, worried that I hadn't hugged him back, placed his arms in mine and pulled me away a little.

─Are you okay, darling?─ I looked at him without responding, did he call her that too? I sighed with my tears starting to fall.

I shook my head before answering. ─Nothing is right, Satoru! Nothing!─ I separated suddenly. ─What don't you see? Aren't you seeing what I'm suffering?!─ I hit him angrily on his chest.

He looked at me dumbfounded. He frowned. ─ I don't understand, what do you mean, n?

My anger grew. He couldn't be that idiotic. ─ I'm tired of being your stupid mistress, that's what happens, damn it. For so long I wanted to be the official. For so long I wanted you to see me the way you see her!─ I could only scream and moan under my tears.

─ Don't just blame me. We both agreed and you knew I had a girlfriend.─ he muttered under his breath. I laughed sarcastically.

─I was 19, you damn bastard! I was just a girl coming out of adolescence and you took me like a fucking bitch and I stupidly fell in love! I believed all the fucking lies you told me because I loved you!─ I felt like my throat was tearing. I collapsed in front of him.

He didn't say anything but crouched down next to me and hugged me.

─ I know, baby. I know and I'm so sorry, I'm sorry I can't give you what you deserve.─ I kept crying. ─ Forgive me, my love.

I stared blankly at nothing, thinking about the drastic decision, but one that I should have made from the beginning, and I looked him straight in the eyes. Without hesitation, I spoke.

─ We must break up.

[dylawas-reblogs]

My sperm donor, literally the first chance he gets to see me as soon as he's back: So what's the update on the job hunting? Me:

Me: I am fine and normal

Also me: not getting hired anywhere despite having a degree and I turn 26 next year so I need insurance

Also also me: wildly depressed due to said lack of job hunting success and abusive father's lack of understanding

Also also also me: still stuck living in abusive parent's house, again, due to said lack of full time work

Also also also also me: constantly drowning in tasks beyond work and no longer know how to relax

Also also also also ALSO me: just dodged getting COVID from my mother two weeks ago by fleeing her house, but now my older brother has COVID and there's nowhere for me to go

Also also also also also ALSO ME: All plans to treat myself since abusive father isn't in the country are canceled due to brother's COVID and my potential exposure

ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO ALSO ME: STAYED UP FOR TWO HOURS PAST MIDNIGHT TROUBLESHOOTING WIFI BECAUSE THE ISP SAID THERE WERE NO OUTAGES AND I NEED WIFI TO WORK FROM HOME, ONLY FOR THE ISP TO ANNOUNCE AN OUTAGE ONLY AFTER I CALL MY ABUSIVE PARENT ON VACATION

Me: I AM FINE AND NORMAL I AM FINE AND NORMAL

[atamascolily]

Lily liveblogs: Thunderbolt Fantasy 4x01

In which Shang Bu Huan is simultaneously incredibly perceptive and as dense as a post; Lang Wu Yao and Xing Hai realize you can't go home again (welcome to hell); and Ba Wang Yu is a badass.

NOTE: As far as I know, there is still no news from Crunchyroll about an official English release, and I'm very grumpy about this. Please do not let TBF become this season's Girls Band Cry.

I'm always a sucker for a soft piano version of the main theme and the opening scene did not disappoint. In this house, we stan a cold open.

(that said, this gives me major flashbacks to the opening of S3, which makes me wonder how deliberate that was)

the cinematography in this scene is GORGEOUS. The light! the bamboo! everything is perfect!

love the establishing shot with the bored server, especially since you just know it's gonna be relevant later

also love how we don't see who Shang is pouring drinks for until Juan Can Yun shows up!

can I just say how much Juan Can Yun has really grown up since we first met him? He may not know what's going on, but his heart is sincerely in the right place, and he's doing his best to provide comfort and support to the guy who taught him what it meant to be a truly good person.

as usual, Shang blames himself for Lang's disappearance, never mind that Lang had his own issues and isn't the most communicative ever.

also love that neither Shang nor Juan has any idea wtf happened to Lang in S3, so from their perspective, he just fucked off into a collapsing cave for no reason... except that Shang has figured out that he went after Xing Hai in the demon realm. Which is 100% true, just not in the way he expects.

Shang is dealing with trauma in his usual way, which is to isolate himself from the people he cares about.

He's also realized his naivete in assuming that he could fob the Index off on someone else in Dong Li or get rid of it entirely--he's stuck with this thing he doesn't want and he's the only one who can handle it (because every time he tries anything else, people get hurt or killed). the problem is that it will consume his whole life, and then what? He doesn't bring it up, probably because it's too depressing to contemplate.

Shang doesn't mention his name directly, but the official summary makes it clear he's thinking of Bai Lian when he talks about how he promised to keep the Index safe.

Dan Fei is rousing both the spiritual and secular authorities to prepare for war. Here's hoping the Dong Li emperor is better than the Xi You one or else we're in real trouble!

She's not even in this episode, but I'm still so proud of her, because like Juan, she really has grown up tremendously since we first met her. And you can tell Juan really loves her! THESE KIDS, MAN.

(maybe the Dong Li emperor can take over the government when Xi You and Dong Li are reunited??)

war with the demons is coming and everybody knows it.

Juan means well, but there is no fortress the Hu Yin Shi can build that is strong enough to keep the Index safe and Shang knows it.

where is home for Shang, I wonder?? He's been on the run and on the road for so long, I don't think he even knows, even though Juan assumes Shang's home is Xi You.

(shang is never going to settle down, he will always wander, "home" is where he is, not a fixed place. but does HE know that? his reaction to Juan suggests that he does.)

Juan's line about Shang's family is so typically him... he's trying to be kind, but he messes it up because he doesn't know the situation.

I am tremendously pleased that Shang doesn't have a family (that he knows about) because it maintains his archetype as as a perpetual wanderer passing through rather than fixing him in time and space. From the beginning, he's always been alone, which is personally tragic, but narratively fitting. Rather than inheriting a destiny, he's entirely self-made.

Also, this means no more family members get fridged, because I'm so tired of that.

(Lang is the one with the family drama in this show, remember)

but I think this is one of those moments that we'll revisit later, because it's technically true, but there's so much more than that that we don't yet know about! this is just the tip of the iceberg!

I feel like this is also a key character moment for Juan, inasmuch as it shows how much he values family and social connections and ties (which he has obtained via his relationship with Dan Fei)

but oh, the awkwardness

so much awkwardness

fortunately interrupted by Juan getting called away by his duties

you can tell that Juan has really settled down, because he pays the bills--remember when Shang tells his imposter that the most important thing in life is paying your own bar tab, lol.

Juan mentions a hot spring and a inn nearby and I just want everyone to imagine the next part taking place there while Shang is naked and wet, because it's such a great mental image. I assumed Pili would have done this if they could have gotten away with it, but alas, budget.

shang always being able to see through lin's disguises gets me every time, as does lin's rueful laugh.

me: GET A ROOM YOU TWO

(also, there is a rule that says servers at restaurants in this show are never what they seem, it's practically law by now)

shang doesn't lecture lin about his behavior, just says he can see where Juan is coming from, lol

Lin's motivation of avoiding boredom is brought up because it's fundamental to understanding his character - - everything he does stems from it.

lin is 100% correct when he says shang is boring and tedious. he's narratively uninteresting. the Index is literally weighing him down. but shang can't/won't listen.

Shang: no.

lin: what, not even a "lol, no". you ARE depressed.

Lin and Juan are basically saying thesame thing in different ways, lol.

"to become a hermit and coop yourself up in the middle of nowhere and devote your whole life to protect the Index" is Lin's idea of hell -- it's basically what the Hu Yin Shi are already doing, but without the community/structure/support

also goes back to the idea of power as ISOLATION, which we have also seen with Locust (more on this later)

Lin is basically saying "play with me!" in the most direct way possible for him, it's very cute

shang telling lin he's not like him is so funny because of all the ways they're similar (which shang would really prefer not to think about, lol)

Just like Shang, Lin is not willing/able to compromise his principles, so their parting is inevitable

Lin has always been very clear that his interest in Shang is conditional on Shang being "fun", so this isn't a surprise

Of course Lin, as a professional storyteller/liar who is keenly attuned to narrative "rules" (and is voted "Most Likely To Break The Fourth Wall"), puts it in terms of tales and stories. If Shang is dropping out of the story, Lin will keep going on.

HOWEVER, Lin is also very clear that this separation is temporary, and that Shang will not be able to resist the call to adventure in his blood (very interesting given what else blood is said to do in this episode). And he's right! Shang is at a low point at the moment, but he's constitutionally incapable of minding his own business when problems drop into his lap. It's innately a part of who he is; he CANNOT stay in one place for long, he can't stop being a hero. And Lin will join him when he rejoins the narrative, because he is acutely attuned to Shang's activities/a keen judge of narrative drama. and it's something they'll do together!

in his own indirect way, Lin is saying that he'll be there when Shang is ready, and that pleases my shipper heart immensely.

shang: "GOD, I need a drink."

the question is what is he going to do next? I think, given the theme of this episode, returning home, and the mention of Tian Ming, means that he's going to somehow end up in Xi You, because it's the one thing he doesn't want to do--and therefore needs to. I'm just not sure how, but I know it has to happen before the end of the story, even if it's not immediate.

The other option is that he goes to the demon realm, because all of the plot threads are converging on the demon realm in this season, so it's inevitable that he'll end up there too

Beyond that, I'm not sure--he could spend time with Dan Fei, Juan Can Yun, and the Hu Yin Shi, but it feels like he has cut ties with them as well and is determined to do his own thing. We'll see how far he gets with his self-imposed isolation before the narrative drags him back; I have a feeling it won't be very long.

all this and we're only six minutes in, lol

I love how the demon realm looks like the bottom of the ocean with all the filtered light and corals and algae. plus they can use the green screen directly and save money!!

Azibelpher is virtually phoning it in because Lang will attack him otherwise, lololol

xing hai: ah, nothing like the fresh smell of blood to remind you of home.

lang: coughing fit

I appreciate the confirmation that Ling Ya is the manifestation of Lang's demonic powers, because it confirms what I've always suspected. Also it makes the second movie 1000% times more poignant and heartbreaking in retrospect, so good job there.

If Xing Hai is disgusted Azibelpher fucked a human, she is very wisely not saying anything, lol

Ling Ya is once again shielding Lang, so he can be human. This is not going to last, but I love him so much for trying.

Like Shang, Xing Hai was ashamed of going home because she felt she wasn't worthy enough, but now she is in Azibelpher's service and therefore protected in spite of her low status among demons. The only one who is allowed to toy with her is her boss, and you can tell he's enjoying her reactions to the changes in the demon realm.

meanwhile, lang is supposedly "home" in a foreign land that is actively hostile and yet somehow familiar on a deep innate level. welcome to hell, kid.

we also get confirmation of something I've wondered about for a long time, which is that "demons" and "demon gods" are two different classes of entities in spite of their similar names. The demon gods are living weapons the demons summoned from another world to fight the humans, which makes them the direct parallels of the Shen Hui Mo Xie, which also came from another world and are the only thing that counter them!!!

also like the Shen Hui Mo Xie, as soon as the war was over, they were misused on their own side

also, this demon god looks JUST LIKE CTHULU LMAO

I thought one of the demons got turned into a skull, but on replay, he was already a skull before that. Still not having a great day, though.

love the shot of Azi et al. on the cliff which establishes the sheer SCALE of this production.

anyway, the demons have "peace" because they're too busy placating the eldritch horrors they summoned to fight each other. This was the idea of the demon king, who I'm sure we'll meet shortly.

also, please savor the irony of Xing Hai waking up a demon god in S1, only to learn that the demons have spent the last 200 years desperately trying to keep them down

the demons are stuck living with the side effects of the war just as the humans are - two halves of the same coin

Xing Hai is mad because she doesn't like that the demons are now suffering the same fate they tried to inflict upon the humans and are stuck with the consequences--she believes in hierarchy, and in that hierarchy, even the lowliest demon is superior to a human, and therefore is prey

"peace" comes at a price--it's not really peace at all, it's stasis/paralyzing, constant fear of oblivion. Like Lin, Azi finds this boring, so he's naturally looking to stir up shit (this is also why he spends so much time fucking around with humans, btw, and, why, like Lin, he also is acutely aware of narrative rules and drama)

Okay, I was not expecting this particular musical choice for cyborg grandpa's scene (Ling Ya's theme iirc). I guess now I don't have to feel bad that Lou Zhen Jie trapped him in the other world, because he wasn't actually trapped for long.

in keeping with his dual nature, cyborg grandpa has one red eye and one green eye

his character bio on the official site says he has a connection to the other craftsman grandpa in this show, which pleases me immensely, because symmetry

love that the screen separating him from the world is literally how Locust interacts with his followers in the Order, it's so perfect for him side note: the "You" character in "Emperor You" is the same as in "Xi You", which means "secluded"; the fact that the emperor is named for his most prominent trait is also very pleasing to me, even if it's not as obvious in English. TBF is really not subtle with these sorts of things!!!

I've said this before, but Locust's isolation from the world is key to his powers, but that doesn't stop him from making his presence felt in other ways

cyborg grandpa wants to go to the demon realm but needs protection; locust wants to learn more about the demonic arts which are tied to heretical arts (another confirmation that pleases me--once again, humans and demons aren't so different!)

FIELD TRIP TO THE DEMON REALM!!!

it's very fitting that Wasp and Spider are introduced at the same time and come as a set because they are direct opposites in every respect. Spider has a fantastic entrance with his chains, but Wasp/Ba Wang Yu has my whole heart.

Her ethos is simple and direct; his is subtle and cunning; she's a butch powerhouse and he's a misogynistic twink. Of course they hate each other and immediately duke it out.

Locust approves because he's a terrible boss, lol

Ba Wang Yu gets her character poem first because she isn't hiding anything at all. She isn't stupid; she simply doesn't give a shit because she's so strong she can steamroll anything that's thrown at her. Did I mention I love her?

seriously, after Dan Fei's poem had that whole "meekness as a woman" crap, it's refreshing that Wang Yu's poem is almost literally "I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR".

I do like spider's clone attack, though. And the chains are very neat. But I'm so distracted by Wang Yu that I barely notice him.

apparently locust has his own stash of magic swords and… axes?? Of course Wang Yu gets the ax! This is also why spider's puppet was exhibited with two different swords, lol.

good thing locust magicked them so they don't get fried like jun po.

you can tell from the way the camera focuses on spider for a second that he's planning on backstabbing wasp in the demon realm.

anyway, Wasp and Spider are almost certainly doomed, and I'm betting that they're either going to kill each other because their respective ethoses cancel each other out--neither strength nor strategy is inherently superior. The alternate is that they die together fighting a common enemy, which would also be karmically fitting, but regardless, I'll be very surprised if they make it out of this season alive.

which sucks because I love Wang Yu so much, but such is life in the murder puppet fandom, especially for the bad guys

I love that the monster of the week looks so cute and harmless, but is supposedly ferocious, lol. love how it conveniently waits for Azi to finish exposition before attacking

in keeping with the "eyes" motif, it has two eyes in its skull socket where a normal animal has one.

lang barely talks in this episode -- also lol. I think he has 2 lines, a cough, and a lot of judgemental looks

Ling Ya is like, "damn it, okay, this sucks, but I'm gonna do my best to keep Lang human through all this"

Lang: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

… and we're done!

Bai Lian with a new sword in the OP was not on my bingo card, but he puts it in a shrine and walks away. considering that the OP is named for a famous sword in Japanese legend, I'm really curious where this is going.

okay, so the opening is great actually, love Shang sitting at the table with lang, only to be alone--I thought he was going to see other people (lin?) but no, still a gut punch. shanglang shippers can have a little angst as a treat.

lot of spiderwebs when the Divine Swarm is introduced (including Lin as Piao Miao, lol)

Locust and Chao Feng also have their mirror images, hmmm

Xing Hai shattering the mirror with her whip suggests that she is going to have an interesting arc this season, "shattering" her illusions. love the reflections of the other demons in in the glass behind her.

Lang is wrapped in chains and calls on his powers via Ling Ya to summon lightning and flames and turns into a demon to escape them… I thought it was a third eye, but I think he's got a horn instead. which is so funny because the demons made fun of him last season for not having one-- half-demon = 1 horn, I guess. Anyway, demon prince Lang sighted, this is not a drill.

also am I a terrible person for immediately thinking of "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" here

omg all those eyes!!!!

credits end with Shang fighting a whole army of those monsters from the end of the episode alone, only for Lin to drop down out of the sky in the most dramatic way possible and stand back to back with him. considering that Azi makes a big deal about how ordinary humans can't defeat them, this is very significant. also, unclear if this will actually happen or if it's just thematic, but either way, this encapsulates Shang and Lin's dynamic very nicely--Shang might complain, but Lin will be there when he needs him (he just has to accept him!) also inevitable that both of them will end up in the demon realm, though again, perhaps not under these exact circumstances.

I feel like the opening song is very slow and melancholy, and gets cut off just as it gets going so I'm looking forward to the full version. Nothing will ever top "His/Story" but I don't hate it.

will we get a real ED this season? probably not, but I live in hope

anyway, this was a LOT to unpack, and I feel like I've barely skimmed the surface, but there you go. can't wait to do this all over again next week.

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 366. brb x oc

a/n: bada bing bada boom (comments and reblogs are super welcome and encouraged!)

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: none uwu

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/

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-

“You know of anything I expected you to say, the last one was that this John guy was your friend from school.”

Rooster grunted handing Mav a wrench as his uncle busies himself on fixing the motorcycle,”I know.” he mutters, “Bea is upset and I don’t blame her,he’s…so fucked in the head, who does stuff like that? It’s not even that funny.” the pilot is glaring at his shoes as he says so, chewing the corner of his mouth, “I don’t remember him that much,Mav. That’s also bad,I remember…bits and pieces.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,like,” he shrugs, “There was this one time he tried to carjack one of our teacher’s cars and we stopped him…it’s fucking crazy,we weren’t that close.”

"That's... messed up, Brad," Mav said, his voice filled with disbelief. "I can't believe you had to deal with someone like that back in school."

Rooster nodded grimly, his jaw clenching with frustration. "Yeah, tell me about it," he muttered, "I never understood why he acted the way he did. He was always causing trouble for no reason."

Mav sighed, setting the wrench aside as he leaned against the motorcycle. "Some people are just wired differently, I guess," he said, his tone contemplative and quiet. "But that doesn't excuse his behavior. He should've known better."

Rooster nodded in agreement, "Exactly," he replied, his voice tinged with anger. "And now …he’s here. Asking me to go to a stupid reunion, I’m not going."

"You don't have to go if you don't want to, Brad," he said, his voice steady as he shrugs over to his nephew "Your priority is Bea and the kids. Everything else can wait."

Rooster nodded gratefully, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders at Mav's understanding. "Thanks, Mav," he replied, his voice soft. "I just don't want anything to do with that time of my life anymore.”

A pause.

“...do you want to talk about it,Brad?”

Rooster hesitated, his gaze drifting to the floor as memories from his past flooded his mind. He took a deep breath, trying to push down the emotions threatening to overwhelm him. "I don't know, Mav," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "It's just...a lot to unpack."

"I get it, Brad," he said softly, his tone gentle yet firm. "But sometimes, talking about it can help. It's up to you, though. I'm here whenever you're ready."

Rooster swallowed hard,he appreciated Mav's offer, but part of him wasn't sure if he was ready to confront…some stuff. "Maybe...maybe another time," he said hesitantly, his words tinged with uncertainty. "I just need some time to process everything."

Mav nodded, his gaze unwavering as he placed a comforting hand on Rooster's shoulder. "Take all the time you need, Brad," he said reassuringly. "I'll be here whenever you're ready to talk."

"Thanks, Mav," Rooster said sincerely, his voice filled with gratitude. "I really appreciate it."

Mav squeezed Rooster's shoulder in response, a silent gesture of solidarity and support. "Anytime, kid," he replied, his tone filled with warmth. "I'll always be here for you."

His nephew smiles more and he feels better. A little. “So…in your opinion.” he begins as Mav goes back to the bike,”Why do you think John did what he did? The calls,lying about being my uncle to the fucking Navy…”

Mav paused, considering Rooster's question with a furrowed brow. "Well, Brad," he started slowly, "people like John, they're…uh, they're unpredictable. Maybe he's got some twisted sense of humor like you said or maybe…there’s something else. Maybe he thinks that will bring his friends back together in some way,did you check with any of your other school friends if he did the same?”

Rooster rubbed his temples, feeling a headache building "I haven't really talked to anyone from school in years," he admitted with a sigh. "But I could reach out and see if anyone else has had similar experiences."

Mav nodded, frowning as he continued to work on the motorcycle. "It might be worth a shot," he replied, his tone quiet. "You never know what you might find out."

Rooster sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "Yeah, maybe," he muttered, his voice tinged with uncertainty. "I just don't want to dredge up old memories if I don't have to. I…don’t know if I want to see my old friends again."

“Why not?”

Roster chews his lower lip ,”...they…changed with me when mom got sick and I decided to join the Navy…I never told Bea that.”

Mav listened attentively as Rooster opened up about his past,and he could sense the pain and uncertainty in Rooster's voice, the weight of unresolved emotions bearing down on him like a heavy burden.

Fuck,he was alone then too.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Brad," Mav said softly, his voice laced with sympathy. "It must have been tough going through all of that…alone."

Rooster shrugged, his gaze drifting to the floor as he struggled to articulate his feelings. "Yeah, it was," he admitted quietly, his voice tinged with regret. "But I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought...joining the Navy would give me purpose, give me a chance to make something of myself." he chews, “I was just really angry then…as you know.”

"Sometimes, we do things with the best intentions," Mav said gently, his tone filled with empathy. "But life has a way of throwing curveballs at us, of testing our resolve and pushing us to our limits."

“Like…what you did?”

Maverick smiles grimly, he knew that they could openly talk about it now, but it was still hard, “I thought I was doing good by holding your papers,Brad. Your mom asked me to, but…we all make mistakes.”

Rooster's gaze softened as he looked at Maverick, "I know, Mav," he said sincerely,almost timidly "And I forgive you for that. You were just trying to protect me, like you always have."

Bea would be very proud of him.

Maverick nodded, a somber expression crossing his features. "I appreciate that, Brad," he replied quietly, his tone tinged with regret. "But I wish I could have done things differently, I wish I could have been there for you when you needed me the most."

Rooster hummed, “I wouldn’t have accepted if you were. Honestly.” he sighs,then rubs his eyes, “It…I don’t know, it was bad, fucked with me mentally for a few years and mom passed not long after…I guess I blamed myself a lot.”

Maverick's heart ached at Rooster's words, the weight of guilt settling heavily on his shoulders. He wished he could turn back time, undo the mistakes of the past and be the supportive uncle Rooster needed during those tumultuous years.

 But he couldn't change the past, no matter how much he wished he could.

"You don't have to blame yourself, Brad," Maverick said softly, "You were just a kid trying to navigate a difficult situation. And your mom, she wouldn't want you to carry that burden on your shoulders."

Rooster nodded, his gaze distant as he wrestled with his emotions. "I know," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "But it's hard not to feel responsible, especially when...when things didn't turn out the way I hoped."

Maverick placed a comforting hand on Rooster's shoulder, his touch gentle yet firm. "You did the best you could with what you had, Brad," he said sincerely. "And now, you have a chance to make things right, to move forward and build the life you want for yourself and your family."

Rooster glanced up at Maverick, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "I hope you're right, Mav," he said quietly, his voice tinged with uncertainty. "Bea mentioned that…it seemed the universe is just throwing a lot of shit on us a lot of time. “

“These past months have been something yes,”

Rooster chuckles dryly, “You been through shit like that before?”

Maverick’s light eyes move from Rooster to the grease in his hands, “After your dad died,after I lost my best friend…everything hit me at once.” he mutters, “I never wanted to show it to you or your mom, but…yeah, I know what you mean.”

Rooster listened intently to Maverick's words, and he just stared. Because what else could he say besides  "I had no idea, Mav," Rooster said softly, his voice compassionate. "I always thought you were…invincible,that nothing could ever break you."

Maverick offered Rooster a faint smile, the lines of weariness etched into his features. "I wish that were true, Brad," he admitted ruefully. "But the truth is, I've had my fair share of moments when I felt like I was drowning in despair."

Rooster nodded in understanding, "I guess we're more alike than I realized," he mused, a wistful smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Maverick chuckled softly, a hint of warmth coloring his voice. "Yeah, I guess we are," he agreed, his gaze distant as he reminisced about their shared experiences. "But you know what they say, Brad. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. And I think we’re pretty strong.”

Rooster's smile widened at Maverick's words, a flicker of hope,of something within him. "Yeah, I've heard that before," he replied, "And I believe it. We've been through hell and back,but we're still standing."

Maverick nodded in agreement, his eyes shining with pride. "That's right, Brad," he said firmly. "This is just another thing.”

Rooster leaned back against the workbench, his gaze drifting to the various tools and equipment scattered around the garage. “Yeah…I guess so…”

Maverick glanced over at Rooster, "You know, Brad," he began, his voice tinged with nostalgia, "I could give you my opinion both as your uncle and as a Navy captain…which one would you like?”

“...both?”

Maverick nodded, chuckling as he tossed the greasy rag aside. "Alright then," he said, his voice taking on a serious tone. "As your uncle, I'd say that you've got a strong head on your shoulders, Brad. You've always been determined and resilient, even in the face of adversity."

Rooster listened intently to Maverick's words, a sense of pride swelling in his chest. 

"You've faced your fair share of challenges," Maverick continued, his gaze met Rooster's eyes. "But you've never let them hold you back. You've always pushed through with determination, and that's something to be admired." 

“This is about the John situation right?”

“Yes,yes,” Maverick said, “Let me continue,come on now. As a Navy captain," he began, "I'd say that you've demonstrated exceptional leadership qualities, Brad. You've shown courage in the face of danger, and you've always put the safety and well-being of your team above all else."

Maverick nodded in approval, his eyes shining with pride. "And you've done a damn good job of it, Brad," he replied, a hint of warmth softening his stern demeanor. "You've made me proud."

A small smile tugged at the corners of Rooster's lips, his heart swelling with gratitude for his uncle's words of encouragement. "Thank you, Mav…what do you suggest I do then,with John?" 

Maverick leaned back against the workbench, his expression thoughtful as he considered Rooster's question. He crossed his arms over his chest, his brow furrowing slightly in concentration.

"Well, Brad," he began slowly, "Dealing with someone like John requires a delicate touch. You don't want to escalate the situation, but you also can't let him walk all over you. Make it clear to John that his behavior is unacceptable and won't be tolerated…scare him a little.”

“Is that as an uncle or as a Navy-”

“Yes.”

Rooster blinked, ‘...well…alright,I’ll uh,see what I can do. I’d love to deal with this before the promotion ceremony you know?”

Maverick nodded in agreement, "That sounds like a good plan, Brad," he replied, crossing his arms "It's important to address the issue before it has a chance to escalate further."

"Thanks, Mav," Rooster said sincerely, his voice tinged with gratitude. "I appreciate your advice."

Maverick clapped Rooster on the shoulder, a proud smile gracing his lips. "Anytime, Brad," he replied warmly. "Just remember to stay true to yourself and trust your instincts. You've got this."

“I’ll be okay.’

“Sure you will.” his uncle smiles, “Now, help me finish this.”

Rooster stared at him , “...oh,it's not over yet?” 

“Course not, besides,” he tosses his nephew a wrench, “We have to keep sharing information,don’t we?”

[caitchercatlady]

Bedridden in the Savanna

*Some notes before we get to the story!

I'm not an artist, so I don't have much of anything for my MC, but my Yuusona's name is Mika. I am working on a fanfiction project in which she is the Yuu of the Twisted Wonderland story. This project is huge, and I'm not sure if I have enough space to incorporate any of the event stories, but I couldn't ignore putting in a small vignette of Mika and Jack conversing after Book 3 Chapter 13 of the Cloudcalling event story where Kalim and Lilia basically wake everyone up with their loud singing. Part of my story project involves Mika and Jack being the OTP, so a Mika without interacting with Jack doesn't exist in my project. I couldn't stop thinking about how she would talk to him after the Bead Brawl team's long day of exploring the city and practicing for the games, so that's what I wrote. I hope you guys enjoy this small story that I crafted on a whim.

Now the tale must go on!

Grim’s annoyance at the Bead Brawl team’s loudness was the sure enough sign we needed to head back to bed. It was a good call as we all had Leona’s plan driven into our minds for the tournament the next day. We all headed back towards our rooms…except me. I opened the door to let Grim in, but he noticed by my shadow that I wasn’t moving. He asked me what I was thinking.

“I’m gonna see if Jack’s awake.”

“He most likely is considering how loud you were all being.”

“I won’t forget to apologize when I visit.” I closed our bedroom door as soon as I saw Grim pounce into the bed. I wandered my way down the hall all the way to Jack’s door.

I knocked on it while also informing him who was on the other side. His heavy footsteps indicate that he was strong enough to get out of bed while also indicating that he was still tired at the same time. I mentally prepared for the apology, but when Jack opened the door and welcomed me in, he didn’t let me apologize as it seemed to be unnecessary.

“They got on your nerves, too?” he questioned.

“Yeah, that’s a way to put it,” I responded.

“They can't possibly be singing in the middle of the night; nevertheless, you all have a tournament to win!”

“Well, the singing stopped the moment Leona stepped in.”

“Of course, it did.” Jack returned to bed, gripping the left side of his forehead.

I joined from the other side of the mattress, crawling behind him. “Are you alright?”

“Better than I was earlier,” he said softly.

Finally, I get to apologize, but it’s a different apology that I meant to say to him from our first arrival at the hotel. “I’m sorry I’ve been out for so long. I was thinking about you the entire day, feeling bad that you get to spend your first trip in Sunset Savanna stuck in a hotel bed.”

Jack, his eyes softening, pulled me onto his lap. “Now, don’t let what happened to me ruin your experience here. You’re the one who may not experience Sunset Savanna again. You’re not the one who got sick.”

“First and foremost, we all had a wonderful time exploring the City and the Springs. I watched the team practice, and they seem to be getting the hang of it. My experience has been fulfilled. Secondly, I’m allowed to worry that you didn’t get the same treatment.”

Jack cleared his throat. “May I be honest with you?”

“Of course. Always,” I replied.

He brushed through his white and gray hair. “I worried that this was going to happen. Surviving the warm spring at Night Raven College is already a pain, especially during track practice. I didn’t want to disappoint Leona, so I agreed to come to the Savanna even though I didn’t know how well I was going to adapt.”

I lay my head against Jack’s chest. “I should’ve said something.”

“Mika, you blaming yourself is becoming a bad habit.”

“Can you blame me in this situation we put you in?”

“I don’t blame anyone, not even myself. Besides, you shouldn’t worry about me anyway. The doc said that I’ll be fine by the morning, and I spoke with Neji before I went to bed. He said that I’ll be able to watch the competition tomorrow. Though I’m not competing as originally planned, watching Leona and the others will be enough of a thrilling experience for me.”

The side of my face snuggled against him. “I’m so glad to hear that.”

“See? When you worry, it’s for nothing. I do have to keep resting if I want to keep that clean bill of health intact.”

I yawned through my response of “Oh course.”

He smirked. “Looks like I’m not the only one.”

“Perhaps you’re--” Before I was able to finish that sentence, I remembered the special thing that I had bought for Jack earlier in the day. I dug my hand into the pocket of my bathrobe and pulled up the gift that was wrapped in the paper at the bazaar. “I found this for you at the Raintree Market. I thought you would like a little something.”

“Did you really have to get me something?”

“Jack, it’s me. I absolutely had to.”

Jack used his pointer nail to tear the paper at the top. He separated the wrapping paper to reveal the carefully chosen towel that I thought suited Jack so well. His hand gently grazed across its soft texture and the mighty lion roar design. His mouth was left slightly agape.

“I figured that you would like something to use while you take your morning jogs. Maybe how it looks is a little silly. I thought--”

Jack ceased my rambling by patting me on the top of my head. “There’s no need to explain a good choice in a gift.”

I felt Jack’s tail swinging around with the small whiffs of air fanning onto me. I looked up at his face, and he was smiling for the first time since he arrived at Sunset Savanna. “Aw, what’s that? You like that I thought of you after all.”

At me pointing out his gratitude, his face blushed pink. “Don’t make such a big deal out of it. It’s the thought of the gift that counts.” He shook his bangs away from his face. “Anyway, what I mean is…thank you, for the gift. The sentiment is humbly appreciated.”

With some careful navigating on his lap, I was able to wrap my arms around the beastman and snuggle closer into him as my way of saying, “You’re welcome.” With relief washing over me, I was too tired to say goodnight or even think to return back to my own room. Jack didn’t seem to mind as we would end up passing out in the bed until the Sunset Savanna sunrise.

[averageanonymous]

Summary: Aziraphale is gone, but Crowley finds himself back at the Bookshop

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

Even after Aziraphale returns to Heaven, Crowley still visits the bookshop. He blames the Bentley for taking him there, but for all his protest, it doesn't stop him from going inside on his own two feet.

He finds himself standing in the entry, looking around like he's just woken up and doesn't quite know where he is or how he got there. It's so quiet. Part of him expects that any moment he will see Aziraphale come around a shelf, or down the stairs, a smile shining on his face, blue eyes bright with laughter. His voice echoes in the silence:

'Well, are you going to just stand there?'

Crowley steps down, wanders aimlessly, running a hand over the spines of books, looking idly at papers and other odds and ends left on desks. Untouched. As though the angel has just stepped out, and he'll be back in only a moment. It's like the bookshop is holding its breath, waiting. Then again, maybe it's him that's waiting.

He sits in Aziraphale's chair, taking his glasses off and setting them on the desk. He sighs, rubbing his eyes to chase away the sting of emotions he's been keeping at bay. He's not sure what he's doing. He shouldn't be here. The memories hurt. And there are so many... Too many to recall them all, but oh how his cursed mind tries, leafing through them one by one like so many pages of a forgotten journal.

It's a horrible disparity, the peace, the contentment, the happiness in those memories, overshadowed now by the pain of losing Aziraphale. Like he's lost everything else. He lets out a sharp breath as it washes over him again, suffusing him with every breath he takes.

He supposes that, perhaps, it was always going to be this way. Perhaps it was just a matter of time. Angels and demons... What sort of future could they have ever had, really. Maybe there was only room in God's ineffable plan for one pair of subverted expectations. After all...what was it they'd said? Ah, right. Once makes a good story; twice makes it seem like an institutional problem.

Crowley slouches deeper into the chair. He wishes he could just stop feeling so damn much.

'It's alright, my dear, to let go,' the angel who isn't there whispers to him. He can almost feel a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"I don't want to let go," Crowley growls.

'But... you're miserable...' The voice sounds like it's the one who's miserable.

"I'm a demon," Crowley says to the empty shop, "Miserable is part of the job description."

'Oh, Crowley - '

"STOP." Crowley snaps, his temper flaring dangerously. He uncoils from the seat and paces the room. His voice is raw, crackling with energy, "That is enough. You don't get to go back to Heaven, leave me behind, and then give me this shit about being miserable and letting go. This was your damn choice. You're the one who let go. Don't tell me to let go of... I can't let go -" His pacing takes him to a pillar, and he presses his head against it to stop the pounding behind his eyes. His throat aches for wanting to scream and scream until there's nothing left in him to feel this.

"Mr...Crowley?"

Crowley's head whips up. Muriel is standing in the bookshop entryway.

"I thought I heard someone shouting in here," they say. Their voice is just chipper enough to set his teeth on edge.

"I was just leaving," he mutters, stalking back to the desk and shoving his glasses back into place.

"Oh, you don't have to!" Muriel cries, "You're always welcome here. Aziraphale told me-"

"Shut it," Crowley hisses at them as he shoves past, "Whatever he said, keep it to yourself."

"...I guess, if that's what you want..." Muriel turns, gaze following him as he reaches the door. They debate saying anything more and abruptly call just as Crowley steps out, "You should know, I think he's pretty miserable... without you, I mean."

Crowley hesitates for only a moment, and Muriel thinks they hear him say, "I guess that makes two of us." Then the bookshop door closes behind him.

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

Thanks for reading ☺️

[artsycervidae]

I wrote a short story for @eidolonshiva 's OC Fumiko, because her design is gorgeous and I couldn't stop thinking about her. I vibe heavily with deeply hurt and misguided characters and support women's wrongs.

General Content Warnings: Violence and gore (specifically: dismemberment, dragging, choking, and vivisecting), horror stings/tropes, graphic imagery, on-screen death, cannibalism, and toxic dynamics between the Shabana siblings and Fumiko.

It's under 5k words. Enjoy!

    "Fumiko," Daki pouted, holding her hand out. "Pass me the tanzashi pins." Her fingers flexed urgently. Without delay, Fumiko guided glinting gold accessories into the oiran's grasp.

     "Here you are, Warabihime Oiran," the attendant cooed obligingly. Using that professional alias always prompted the courtesan to don a little self-satisfied smile, and Fumiko's heart lightened a little. "It looks beautiful," she added when Daki turned her head to admire the structure of her bundled hairstyle. "Your client will be stunned speechless."

     "I know," Daki replied, sounding as though she didn't need to be told, though sweet words were the very reason the lesser demon was welcome to her space. She rose to her feet, and Fumiko needed no prompting; she too stood and plucked the black-and-white haori from its stand, gliding the fabric easily over the oiran's arms. Fumiko ensured the wrinkles were minimal by delicately straightening it across the back. A stray onyx lock was ready to spill from Daki's hair but Fumiko discreetly tucked it behind a pin, covering her tracks with a little smile over the oiran's shoulder. "All done. You look perfect."

     Daki watched through the reflection as her friend smoothed and straightened the silk sleeves. She 'helpfully' extended her arm suddenly, catching Fumiko by the ribs and startling the other demon. "Fumiko," she whined, sweetness lacing her voice, "How much do you know about Ukita Haru?"

     Fumiko froze, unexpectedly thrown back into a different time and place. Daki watched how her thick brows lifted, her full lips parting in a ghost of a gasp as the name struck a chord. Bringing up the past was a sensitive subject, but the lesser demon couldn't bring herself to deny Daki anything she asked for. Even if that meant reopening old wounds.

     "Not much, as he wasn't a fellow herbalist," Fumiko admitted. "But his family helped finance various apothecaries and pharmacies, specifically those specializing in natural remedies... I remember that. He is well-traveled across Japan. He'll make for engaging, intelligent company." 

     Pleased with the other's obedience, Daki went on. "I want to convince him to make Kyogoku House an exclusive customer," she revealed. "Likewise, I would like our tea house to give him special attention. His connections stretch across the country, and I'm sure that even if he doesn't have what I seek, he will be a useful asset. What do you think?" Her mouth curled at the corners, ambient eyes glinting with ambition. 

    Fumiko cleared her throat and ignored the tingling discomfort that danced up and down her body; the same crawling feeling that preceded long nights of terrible thoughts. Instead of addressing it, she clarified, "This is the new client, right? The one that used to frequent Tokito House." 

     Daki sighed heavily, like it taxed her to be reminded of droll preparations. "It is. Koinatsu only entertained him twice before, and I don't blame her. He honestly wasn't even worth the effort of stealing. He's so bland, and she's nearly at the prime of her beauty." But Daki would be patient-- Koinatsu's time would come. She was far too early in her career to be harvested now, as a girl like that could easily be an oiran one day... What mattered presently was the target. "Am I wasting my time with this man, or do you think he could provide valuable information? Does he know all there is about Japan's flora?"

     "I'm afraid I never met him personally," Fumiko said. It was an unfortunate convenience; she wanted to be helpful, but... she had a hard time as it was trying to put those things out of her mind. It was difficult enough to get through the night without seeing familiar shadows attached to total strangers. She swallowed down the idea of diving into the memories of sunnier days... it made her crave a smoke. "I'll think about it," she promised the oiran. "I suppose you could ask him such questions yourself during this meeting, and we can compare our thoughts on him. If he doesn't fulfill your expectations, you can simply command that he seek another woman for his appointments."

    Daki huffed, and for a moment Fumiko was prepared to launch into emergency protocol: if Gyutaro were rudely awakened to one of his little sister's meltdowns, his attitude would sour instantly and there would be hell to pay. Even the most helpful suggestion could be misinterpreted as bossing around, and Fumiko feared she had gotten too comfortable. "I hate that!" Daki whined instead. "I hate working to get a man to notice me, only to find out he's utterly useless. It's bad enough he's so plain, Fumiko! I swear, if he tells a single unfunny joke and expects me to laugh for him, I'll open his throat." She crossed her arms, rumpling her kimono layers and undoing all Fumiko's preening. This pouting was performative-- she expected further pampering.

     "Now now," Fumiko hummed pleasantly. "If you think nasty thoughts so early in your work, they're liable to spill out of your head and mouth." She rubbed Daki's back, pressing her sharp nails into the fabric for a comforting pressure. "You don't have to see him if you don't want to." Then she began to tidy Daki's clothes once more. "You're beautiful, sophisticated, educated, and classy. He is just a man, and to hang expectations on him is unfair from the start." With a playful smile, Fumiko teased, "You're completely out of his league." 

     The Upper Rank sighed and shook her head. "You're right. It has to be done, though I deserve so much better." Even with power in her hands, she was dragging her heels through the process of attaining his good graces. She had to tolerate it further. Just until she could find the sharpest knife to strike fear into his heart with, rather than rely on fickle affections. What she really wanted was reassurance that mere compliments couldn't provide. "Fumiko," she fussed again, using that helpless and needy tone that the kamuros often affected, "Stay, won't you? Wait outside for me if you like, but remain close in case something goes wrong. My big brother is still sleeping, and I can't bear to be alone if this all falls through." It was more that she had invested all her time and energy into this project, and she was ready to be done with it. She wanted the immediate gratification of success. If this was a dead end, she didn't want to undo all that work herself. Leave someone else to clean her messes.

     "Of course." No threats, no needling, no persuasion required. Fumiko clasped Daki's fair hands between hers, fondly smiling into the oiran's face. "If anything happens, I'll be there." This was what Daki especially loved about Fumiko: the lesser demon would do anything for her. Without Gyutaro around, there was nobody to scold Daki for taking the easy route and making others do her bidding. But even if he made an unexpected appearance, he couldn't bring himself to pitch a fit about Fumiko's doting obedience. It was her best quality, they both agreed.

    With Fumiko's support, Daki proceeded to meet with Ukita Haru, herbologist and nobleman. As promised, the lesser demon accompanied her as the oiran's attendant. Though she wasn't privy to their personal discussion, she was the one running orders from Warabihime to the rest of the house. Fumiko had learned her new role quickly. Working in a tea house was not so different from running a medical practice, though they had their own forms of customer service; both demanded comfort and cleanliness. She'd hoped that assisting Daki that night would keep her fretful mind distracted, saw no such luck. 

     After delivering the party's tea, she sat by the shoji door and slid it closed. The hallway was empty, if just for the time. Free of observers, Fumiko fled for a private moment. Back when she was freshly transformed, she would have had to find a balcony to scale like a lizard in order to reach her rooftop perch. Now that she was eating more than carrion, it was as simple as stepping from the ground up into the stars, landing gracefully on the shingles. Corpses were human meat all the same, but void of the most potent nutrient any demon needed: stolen life.

     She could vaguely hear the murmured discussion in the room below, as Daki had kindly thought to open the exterior door to the terrace. "What a beautiful night," she heard the oiran exclaim, establishing her motive plainly. But as she returned to her client, their voices blurred together. Fumiko settled comfortably and peered out over the district of glowing lights as she rolled up her sleeves. She wafted her fingers through the air, and her kiseru materialized into her palm. It had been a good idea to carry her incense ball on her person tonight; her hands shook as she packed the pipe. Once sparked, Fumiko took a steady pull from the wisteria-laced concoction, filling her lungs with toxic fumes. 

    Though her biology fought to cleanse itself of poisoning, it never worked quite the way it was supposed to. She closed her eyes, held the breath, then exhaled slowly, allowing her nerves to curl and dissipate like floral smoke. The voice downstairs wasn't all too unfamiliar. But she couldn't muster much beyond a name. "Ukita Haru," she repeated softly. Nothing of use resurfaced, only the memory of someone else's face: a man's dark hair, firm square jaw, and familiarly heavy brows... She shoved that image away, took another hit, and breathed it out. "Ukita... Haru." She tried to remember that name in context of 'work.'

     A sharper image came to her-- her father's hands shuffling aside business notes, moving to see how Fumiko weighed and crushed the ingredients to make a more potent and effective salve. She scrubbed the memory clean and took another pull, this one less steady as she would have liked. She sniffed and dabbed at her eye with her right hand-- she and Daki had spent much time on their makeup, and at least that awareness still stood out to her in this phantom grief. Her left hand tapped the kiseru empty of ashes over the street. She remembered how her dad sounded when he complimented her adaptation; how good it felt, when she saw him make those changes a permanent process.

     If only she could have been so useful all the time. What value was her knowledge of the natural world when it didn't fulfill the needs of those she admired most? Why was it that when Daki needed a simple answer, Fumiko couldn't bring herself to know it? Even as she tried her best, tried to pick through the shards of her old life for something to salvage... in the end, all she could do was sit, and smoke, and listen. It was, in a way, a relief that this was a failure: she could stop looking over her shoulder to what she couldn't go back to.

      She lost count as to how many times she lit her kiseru, only realizing this when she peered back into her incense ball and saw that her stash was down to fine powders. She ran her finger along the side to pinch out every last bit for one last smoke, and it was then she noticed the soft bruise-like coloration under her nails. She paused and rubbed her fingers closer to her eyes... the purple tinge remained. The exterior door slid closed with a snap, startling her. That was early-- or had she lost track of time? She quickly hid her smoking utensils, shook out her hair, and returned to the hallway; but in her haste, she had entirely forgotten to make herself presentable. Warabihime glided out of the room, a contemplative frown on her face at the sight of Fumiko's disheveled top.

     A heavy blanket of dread smothered the atmosphere of the hallway, even when Fumiko swiftly tucked her clothes into place. She had only seen Daki quietly furious this way during vicious arguments with her brother, when the barbs got personal-- she stole an angry glance into the room, daring to peek at the face of a man who dared displease the most beautiful woman in the district. He looked nothing like her father-- he was average all around. Daki had said it best: plain and bland. Fumiko fell into step behind the oiran to her private quarters. She ached for distraction from her rooftop musings, but dare not break the silence until her company did first. "Fumiko," Daki murmured, "a flower is like a woman. She cannot bloom beautifully without the appropriate sun and nutrients." This was not to be debated or discussed. It was the part they played when privacy wasn't assured, the wise and beautiful oiran teaching her pupil a valuable observation. Fumiko couldn't help but indulge the stronger demon.

     "Yes, Oiran."

     "The spider lily," she went on, as Fumiko paid rapt attention, "is especially like a woman. With delicate petals and stamen, it only blooms for a small window of time. When these flowers grow too close together in similar conditions, they compete for these resources and it lessens their beauty. Their survival becomes entangled. Which means the best way to ensure a perfect flower is to focus on the most promising, and nurture it to bloom."

     "Yes, Oiran." Fumiko threw all her presence into Daki's words. She was stronger than she used to be, thanks for these valuable learning lessons. It only made sense that she repay the favor, and the least she could do was nurture.

     "You see," Daki said, "A proper spider lily can only be at its most beautiful when it is worshipped. Ukita Haru said as much. Generous donations of both sunlight and water, more than other species of flora, and all the attention one could--" she noticed when Fumiko's brow twitched upward. The oiran halted in her tracks. "What is it?"

     "I'm sorry," Fumiko said, "I don't mean to interrupt. Did he... tell you that, in those words? About the sun and water?"

     "Yes. He did."

     Well then. A heat prickled at the back of Fumiko's neck, offended on behalf of Daki. "I'm afraid he's misled you, Oiran," she said, disguising the disgust broiling in her mind. She was no florist, but her familiarity with the lily's poisonous nature came from a life of knowledge and experience. "Bulbs rot in too much water. Areas of excessive rain will not help a spider lily thrive."

     They turned the corner, and Fumiko could feel Daki's shifting temperament, like energy in the air before a lightning strike. "I see," she answered slowly. "Regardless-- if an herbalist puts his focus on the less beautiful flower, then perhaps by early autumn, he'll be blessed with two beautiful blossoms. But if he fails, then he will only have dull, lifeless colors. A clump of weeds..."

     Fumiko blinked in surprise. "He rejected you?!" she hissed scathingly. Yes, Koinatsu was an incredible courtesan, but... for Warabihime to offer her time and company was inargubly an improvement! The oiran went out of her way for this man, and he decided he didn't want her? He lied to her, and then turned her away?!

     Daki sniffed as Fumiko opened the door to her room, and the stronger demon stepped inside before opening her arms. Fumiko moved to relieve Daki's shoulders of heavy fabric, but she found herself suddenly seized. She gasped in equal parts fear and pain-- the Upper Rank glared down at her ally, baring her teeth.

     "He's a fool!" Daki barked, her mood erupting once everything had been registered. She squeezed her eyes shut to clamp down bitter, shamed tears. "What does he know about lilies?! How dare he waste my time with meaningless words." And then, her voice pitched into a broken note. "How dare he give me inaccurate information! Me!" 

     Fumiko knew a hissy fit when she saw one. She held Daki in return, albeit with much more consideration and tenderness, nodding erratically to emphasize how much she understood. "I can't believe he mistreated you like this. I won't let it go unaddressed. What do you want to do, Daki?"

      The Kizuki's eyes snapped open, sparked alight with new bloodthirst-- her pupils contorted into their respective calligraphic forms. "Kill him!" Daki commanded. "Before he leaves the district. Kill him before he can even regret what a mistake he's made."

     All at once, Fumiko felt ill. She knew this was where the night would lead, but she had wanted it to happen all the same. The heady feeling reached a point of utter bliss. The back of her head cracked, her hair parting easily as a long, wet muscle swiped the air. "Yes, Oiran." And though she dreaded what lay ahead, Fumiko couldn't ignore the thrum of excitement that resonated in her intoxicated body. 

-----

     Ukita Haru wasn't happy with how that appointment ended. He hoped that after a long walk, he could clear his mind and return to bed feeling more assured. But no matter what he did, he couldn't help lingering in all his bad decisions.

     There was no denying it: he was in love with Koinatsu. He had found a woman who could very well be a future jewel oiran, but he had driven her away with selfish jealousy. She playfully said that if he wanted all her time to himself, he could ask her to marry him. He really ought to have. He should have fallen to his knees and promised her his whole life. But his pride had been tender, and he hated being called on his bluff. He hadn't been a gentleman with his words.

     It was a wonder that she didn't have him banned from her tea house altogether. But it had taken days of petulant pouting to see his good fortune. It felt like he woke up only then, in the throes of discussion with Warabihime Oiran from Kyogoku House, and realized what he had spoilt. As he answered Warabihime's questions about spider lily types and care, he found himself in Tokito House instead. When Warabihime gazed at him, he thought of looking into warmer, deeper eyes. When she laughed, he heard someone else's mirth. Here he was, the very definition of success... and he was unhappy. 

     He could have all the money, flowers, and women in Japan. But without Koinatsu, he may as well be destitute. 

     It wasn't Warabihime's fault. He made it clear that he had a lovely time with her. She was a beautiful woman with an intense aura around her-- too passionate for him, in fact. He didn't want future appointments. He had a lot of work to do, if it meant building trust with Koinatsu again, and he couldn't be distracted. 

     Haru walked away from the busier district streets, seeking a quiet refuge to simmer in his thoughts. He had to start by making it up to her-- no, first he would apologize. A letter. Would a gift seem too much like a bribe, or could its sincerity help drive his point across? No doubt, simply announcing his desire to marry Koinatsu would be the wrong move. He couldn't unload all that onto her just yet. 

    He took another turn and stopped midstep. A woman was directly in the center of the path. It struck him as unusual that she should be alone, and in the dark no less--

     'Ashinuke,' he realized suddenly. A runaway courtesan. She had to be-- he recognized her at least, and he tried to remember exactly where he had seen her before. Tokito? Kyogoku? Somehow, none of them seemed right... How could she have gotten so far away without anyone else noticing? 

     She slowly turned. Before he could get a proper look at her, she exhaled a long pillar of smoke. Though this obscured her face, he had the distinct feeling that she was watching him. He didn't want to get dragged into another tea house's troubles, so he pretended he hadn't seen her, continuing along his path. But when he came to the next turn, there she was again... not a similar woman. Not an illusion. It was her. She was right there, lifting a hibiscus-charmed pipe to her lips like before. This time, she faced him.

      Perhaps it was better to simply turn around the way he came. Though the stranger was just a woman, his skin crawled at the eery emptiness of the roads. He couldn't put it into words: he just had a gut feeling that he didn't want to be caught alone with her.

     As if reading his thoughts, she suddenly sprinted at him. Haru bolted, spinning around before immediately tripping backwards.

     Black sclera and full moon eyes stared him down-- he fell back on his ass, too frightened to even shout. His palms and rear stung with pain, and his wrist especially throbbed when all his weight teetered onto it-- his body was jerked by the throat in a semi-circle, snared by something powerful yet slippery like an oiled bicep. The woman exhaled and tapped her kiseru, the hibiscus dancing, mocking his tremorous gasps. She coyly glanced over her shoulder like she had just noticed his suffering. The more he choked, the more air escaped from his lungs. He clawed at what trapped him to no avail, his tongue lolling out between his teeth. "What?" She drawled, her mouth curling into a cruel smirk, "you don't like the chase anymore?" 

     Haru's vision had begun to blur as his hands pawed with futility at the air, at his throat. "... No?" she taunted. "What if I go easy on you?" She continued to speak, but all meaning to those noises left his mind. "She told me to make it quick. But I do hate such an unfair task. I'll give you a chance to escape." There was no comprehension in his darting eyes. Nothing in his brain but the deafening beat of his heart and screaming of his nerves. All of a sudden, he gasped and coughed-- he fell to his knees, heaving oxygen into his lungs. Saliva dribbled out of his mouth and all down his front, and he realized how nonsensical that was. It wasn't strictly his drool along his throat. His shoulders were nearly drenched with slick fluid.

"Five," she drawled, her thick eyelashes fluttering as she turned away from him. The pink appendage-- a tongue he saw-- leered at him from the back of her head. The gap it protruded from sneered rows of razor-sharp teeth.

     "Four," she said, and he knew he was looking at a futakuchi-onna, and that she was giving him a headstart. He turned and scrambled at the dirt, clambering to his feet as he wheezed. 

     "Three--"

      He drew in a sharp breath to scream for help. But when his other leg swung forward to catch his stride, he found himself collapsing, pain crashing down on him like a tsunami wave. It started with that leg. When he tried to push himself off the ground, his arm crunched and twisted out from beneath him, and he was flipped supine with a ferocious wrench. Then he was yanked sharply by his remaining leg, dragged house after house after house with his skull skipping off the path before his leg finally separated from his body. 

     It had taken three limbs too long before Haru truly understood what was happening, beyond the animalistic fear of death. She lied. She was toying with him. The tongue sprouting from the woman's occipital lobe held his leg in righteous victory, curling and constricting like a snake. Hot blood streamed out at an angle, dripping over her face-- no doubt ruining her makeup, though that was now just an inkling at the back of her mind.

      Her cheeks ached from her smile, blood and adrenaline coursing through her body like a completed current.

     Haru's leg folded and was lowered steadily behind the woman where it disappeared. The demon mouth devoured his flesh with a sickening grinding and cracking that Haru had never known before. In her hands, she held his remaining body parts. He began to scream. But she had taken him so far so quickly that there couldn't possibly be anyone nearby to hear or help. And those who had heard... they knew better than to acknowledge what haunted the dark.

     Fumiko relished the feast as much as the hunt-- her body was in complete control despite the distance of her overthinking mind. Content as a cat, stimulated and engaged with the challenge. Mortals could only live so long while bleeding out from three dismemberments, so she started by pinching the messiest arteries closed. Haru wailed like a baby, although she had spared him death by another few seconds perhaps.

     Since he was being so ungrateful, she decided to flay his body slowly, dermis layer after dermis layer. It kept him awake to bear witness as she picked him apart. He writhed and cried when her nails began to peel back fluffy fat and marbled meat. With the practiced knowledge of an anatomist, she dug right down to the most tender organs, the ones that wouldn't kill him immediately, at least. Already, his movements were becoming softer, sluggish little twitches and rabbit kicks of shock. The only noise in the air was the occasional wet smacking of Haru's full-body flails, and Fumiko's skull buzzing with opium, wisteria, and gore.

     "Well now," a familiar voice creaked, a hot breath puffing on the back of her neck. Fumiko froze, her demon mouth mid-chew, all too aware of the awful mess she was making. He couldn't have woken up earlier, when her makeup had been pristine and her mind had been whole? She lowered her eyes and lifted her sleeve to her face, trying to tidy the blood without being too obvious. "You look like you're enjoying yourself." 

     "Gyutaro," she uttered, shooting a look his way. His heavy-lidded eyes burned holes into hers, lips split into a wild grin. "Good evening. It's kind of you to," she swallowed unnoticably, "check on me." She suppressed her beating heart's wishes, even though she knew exactly where his mind went when it was just the two of them.

     Haru didn't count as being present, due to the fact he was now dead.

    "I heard that someone told my little sister she wasn't good enough for him. She was bawling so loud she could have woken the dead. Imagine my surprise when she said you were already defending her honor." And, after a pause, "You've been doing it again, haven't you?" He didn't sound too annoyed, but Fumiko got a chill anyway. She resisted the instinct to jump when she felt his hand on the other side of her face-- he had reached around her to smear his fingers along her still-bloodied cheek, keeping his face near enough that his teeth could rip out her esophagus. Not that it would end her life. But it made for a powerful reminder.

     "Yes," she admitted, stepping right onto the blatantly marked trap, tipping her face into his hand. There was no use in lying: it would only make him angrier. Her stomach tightened with fear and anticipation both, awaiting the punishment. 

     She was surprised when he only nodded. He was in a good mood. "I heard he tried to pull a fast one on her," he went on, "and that you shut that shit down." Another trap. He would nudge her those little congratulatory herrings before, and she learned not to rely on them. These games made her smarter, and she loved him for it. 

     "I did." Simple acceptance. If she tried to coax any further praise, it would be rescinded just as quickly. "What will you have me do with his body?" 

     "What's left of it you mean?" He corrected. Then his voice dipped into a warning. "You should really ask permission before you eat. What if I had thoughtfully brought you something?"

     "You're right. I'm sorry." It didn't matter if Daki would have allowed it, and probably would have preferred there be no discoverable body. Unless she was given that explicit order, the weaker demon had no defense to stand on. Fumiko needed to be more careful dancing the line between 'ambitious' and 'willful.' "I take full responsibility. How shall I make it up to you?"

     That was what he liked to hear-- and though she wouldn't have blamed him, or even minded if he'd taken his rage out on her, she practically melted when his fingers shifted along her cheekbone in a gentle pat. "Remember that for next time," he advised. It was perhaps the most pragmatic and merciful he was capable of being. "Now get back to the House. There's word of strangely-dressed men in the area," and his mouth quirked into a different smile. It was the one that changed his visage completely, and made Fumiko wish he would be returning home with her instead. "I might as well handle it, since she's already woken me up. Make sure she eats, and that the food locker is guarded, too." 

     "Of course, Gyutaro," Fumiko replied, not arguing when the true Kizuki left her side to hoist up the partial corpse. She didn't ask what he intended to do with it-- that was his prerogative, and she didn't have the authority to demand answers from him. Fumiko turned away and returned home, trailing bloodied footprints down the path, her thoughts occupied with the things she could do for Gyutaro and his sister: the only family she had left.

[personasintro]

i’m really getting sick of the negative asks. you’re so patient mimi because i could never. you guys really need to stop trying to dictate how mimi writes her story or responds to asks. some of the questions you ask are very leading and i don’t blame mimi for giving vague responses, because she wants to keep things a surprise and not spoil the book….who likes spoilers? what’s the point of her telling you “yes he’s in love with/falling for yn” some of you are a little too into the book. i know it’s a means to escape reality but please try to not let it become your actual reality if you get what i’m saying. it’s just like your favorite tv/netflix, hbo etc series. if there’s a big cliffhanger at the end of the season, you wait until the next season comes around to get your questions answered. you don’t go attacking the writers, actors and directors, you wait. please do the same for mimi. also as it relates to kiko, GOD KNOWS i can’t stand her either but i don’t go bringing her up every chance that appears. her and jk had a relationship. they loved each other and will probably always have love for each other but that doesn’t mean it’ll be same kind of love they had in the relationship itself. with time, they’ll move on. it’s not like they’ll look at each other one day and instantly fall in love again. with the amount of times you guys bring kiko up, i wonder if you actually dislike her or not.

please just be patient with mimi and trust her process. she knows what she’s doing and it’s HER story. if you can’t handle that then you’re more than welcome to leave and find another book that suits your needs…..maybe write your own. let the rest of us appreciate mimi’s hardwork.

not a lot of authors take time out of their day to interact with their readers across different platforms, so i’ll always appreciate mimi for that. i don’t just love her for her work, i love that she always engaging with us. keep up the good work mimi, you’re doing amazing. also sorry for the rant😅🩷

Thank you, it truly means a lot to me! Thank you for writing all of this for me. Getting such frustrating asks doesn't feel nice, especially when you can feel anger in them. I'm always up for a debate, whether it's positive or negative but ppl can always do it politely and with respect. This is my blog, it should be my safe place and if I don't want you in it, then you're not welcome here. I am sorry but this is my boundary and I'm doing this so I could still write stories and be here.

So thank you again! Excuse me for my rant :) I'm sure most of the things I said will be misunderstood by a certain group of ppl but who cares anymore. I would have to stay silent so they wouldn't have anything to say. And even then, I feel like they would still find something lol

[mcytshippystuff]

Do you have more on Missa and Forever's relationship? What caused them to chill with each other?

(as always, /rp, not irl) Also go here for more hcs on Missa, Phil, and Forever's relationship this ask is referencing!

Honestly? It mostly has to do with q!Missa surprisingly enough.

Here's the thing, q!Missa doesn't really know q!Forever, like at all. Their first meeting was Forever basically claiming he was gonna steal q!Philza, his husband and secret crush, away from him. Which Missa didn't take well understandably lol.

Everything else he knew about the man, in the brief break between reluctant trips, was from the other islanders and Phil, mostly when the winged man was especially annoyed or amused with the other blond. So that's to say Missa didn't like what he heard.

(More under the cut!)

"I'm gonna lock you in a cage until you love me" was not something Missa ever wanted to hear about anyone, let alone Phil. Fuck that Yandere-esk bullshit!

But when Missa finally asks about that, to his bafflement, Phil just laughs and looks amused. But he must of seen something in Missa's expression becuase he spoke. "Like he could," Phil snorted, confidence and amusement oozing from him, and yeah fair. "And its not like he means it."

That has Missa stopping short, blinking in surprise. Becuase there's trust and belief there, conviction. Philza 100% trust and believes in not only that fact, but he believes in, trust Forever too.

In fact, Phil never seems upset at any of the things Forever said like that, he only ever seemed upset at the fact that Forever claimed to love him at all, knowing Forever only loved him becuase of how he reminded him of his ex. A replacement.

Missa doesn't have much time to figure that out before he has to go again, but that's all he knows of Forever. Then months later he's home again and settling back in, Phil isn't angry or mad, just, welcome's him home and its great.

Then Forever comes by and shatters all of Missa's perceptions of Forever becuase he apologizes and says he's done pursuing Philza. And Missa believes it but what stops him short is the fact the blond looks so utterly heartbroken, but there's still a look of love there when he stares at Phil. And as time stretches a bit, and Missa comes know and interact with Forever a bit more, watch as Forever and Philza interact, well-

Missa thinks Philza might of been wrong.

He's not saying Forever hasn't messed up or said messed up things, he defiantly has and has hurt Phil, or that maybe Forever's infatuation really did start out as a replacement for his ex, but Missa realizes that Forever truly did love Philza for who he was, still does despite how he's trying to give Phil space. Just as Forever could see that Missa loved Phil too, hence why he felt so threatened by Missa in the first place over it.

And if anything, Missa understands being in love with Philza. So he cant blame the man, cant be mad at the fact Forever loves him too, if anything he respects that Forever recognized he was in the wrong and was trying to do right by it even if it means not getting Phil's love.

And even moreso Missa can understand not being able to stop loving Phil either, so if one day he see's Forever in the distance as they wander by, watching, pinning sadly, and he breaks off from Phil to offer him a olive branch, a drink, and a quiet conversation as they both watch the man they love leave, well, its nobodies business but their own. They dont discuses it, but they both know. Instead they share news and talk of their kids and a small kinda friendship builds on understanding of it.

And one day, Missa will tell quietly tell Phil that he thinks Phil might be wrong and that will be the cascading domino for both their relationships with Phil, believe it or not, but for now they just sit and chat.

[dolokhoded]

80s jesus 'verse disciple headcanons pt. 3 (jesus, judas, jb)

my sincere apologies i know i said i'd bost judas "in a little bit" about. 2 weeks ago. here they are. @ that one anon who asked me about judas, my brain works very slowly, there he is

JESUS

ok starting off jesus is gender wacky. idk what he is i use he/him for him but calling him a man feels off. he's my favorite gender identity which is wack.

being somewhat divine does that to you you don't really care for the labels society has completely made up. ANYWAYS

i don't even know what i'm gonna write for jesus i'm sure you know what kinda guy jesus was. 

okay. grew up in nazareth with his parents miriam and yosef and his siblings 

(don't ask me why im using the hebrew form of names for the parents but not jesus himself. it's because we have a hundred marys.)

he has three siblings, two sisters and one brother, and he's older than all of them with a pretty big age gap, he was kind of an accidental pregnancy

(or, y'know, the son of god. but who knows ! )

had a relatively normal life compared to everyone else. i guess reparations for how well his life went last time idk.

jesus is also the only one out of them all who has somewhat of a sense that they've all existed together somewhere before ? he doesn't clearly remember any of it, but he did recognize his disciples when he met them.

he also has a lot of nightmares. they're vague, but very painful.

anyways aside from that pretty decent upbringing. he always knew that he wanted to help people as much as he can.

he learned carpentry from his dad and although he did study political science he ended up just running his father's shop.

however of course he also runs his organization ! which i really struggle to pick a main cause for because like it's jesus ? i feel like he'd care about anything that helps people he's just trying to make the world a little better.

idk. i'll think about it.

before he was doing that he was doing a lot of activist and volunteer work alongside his cousin john ! you guys know cousin john !

and therefore already had a lot of peers and a lot of friends who then followed him and supported him. the first being andrew, who was very close with john and was there when there was just talk between the three of them and maybe some more friends about jesus starting his own cause

aside from carpentry, which he obviously likes and is very good at, jesus is actually a little bit of a creative in general.

he just started with woodcarving with his leftover supply for fun and then slowly moved on to clay and occasionally even sculpting.

likes to give stuff shape anyways

cares so much for his whole team and always reminds them to be kind to themselves and take care of themselves however he has not practiced self care a single DAY in his entire LIFE

will overwork himself to exhaustion if someone doesn't physically drag him away. has before.

for an all loving creature he has the emotional intelligence of a doorknob

dgmw he's great. he's kind to everyone and all that. he's understanding.

still has not known what the fuck is going on a day in his entire life. each time any of his friends looks the slightest bit off he comes to the wildest possible conclusion.

most of the time said conclusion being that it's his fault

he might be a tiny bit self-centered. usually not in a positive way towards himself either, it just means he thinks he's the cause of everything bad happening in his life.

feels like the world revolves around him, just in a very pessimistic way

but he's got a lot on his plate can you blame him.

love how i went "yeah he's relatively doing pretty well" and then gave him a bunch of issues lol sorry jesus

JUDAS

welcome, queers, i know you're here for him, here he is

judas is an only child and comes from a very rich family.

his parents own an insurance company and have like a bunch of buildings they're renting.

generational wealth, basically. it's all inherited and they're making a shit ton of money out of nothing it's all already set up.

judas' family is also very religious.

and i know that so far two out of the two times i've said that it means the parents are assholes but i swear it's not like that james and john's parents are also religious it just wasn't relevant.

but yeah judas' parents are, in fact, assholes. judas was very involved at the temple from very early childhood.

which unfortunately led to him being abused by religious officials that he could supposedly trust and grew up with.

especially once he started growing into his teens and came to the realization that he very much Does Not like women.

which his parents didn't love either.

somewhere around that time he started to distance himself from his family, especially once he moved away for university. judas studied political science but halfway through kind of changed career plans and double majored in journalism

which was very demanding but he did it anyways !

in university he meets jesus. jesus is in his third year when he's in his first and helps him out a lot. they're both very politically active too and always meet at protests and charity events etcetcetc so, yeah, they know each other. and sure there's something there but judas is very closed off and they drift apart when jesus graduates.

oh, judas also has depression, he was diagnosed at age ten, his family was very ashamed of that as well.

in his last year of university, he falls out with his parents once and for all.

they already weren't close, judas was very hurt by them and obviously he had a lot of personal issues with them but to him the line came when he found out about a lot of things that were going on behind closed doors in his parents' company, they were scamming a lot of innocent people and also partnering with a lot of . really just scum of the earth kind of people.

judas got rightfully very upset and had absolutely zero reason to keep covering up any of this. so he didn't ! and obviously that was very disastrous for the company.

judas gets disowned. not legally, but his parents cut all ties with him. not that he wasn't going to do that himself anyways.

obviously though as a consequence he suddenly has very very limited money. luckily for him he's currently in a relationship with his guy, isaac, who's very happy to let him move into his apartment. it would benefit him too to share the rent anyways. as it turns out, isaac's not a great guy ! judas himself isn't too well either so they have a very weird very unhealthy very codependent relationship and though they fight a lot it takes judas two years until he finally finds the strength to walk out on him.

judas didn't think that through very well because he doesn't really have anywhere to go. to his luck, guess who he runs into !

it's jesus. of course it's jesus this is the dolokhoded bible where the main character is still jesus, no matter how much i love to talk about james and simon.

jesus is on his way to a meeting with his team and he's like hey why don't you come along. and judas does. and that's it, he meets the whole gang, he ends up rooming with andrew and philip for a while before he gets his own place.

and, y'know. he does, eventually, in an excruciatingly slow process that tests the patience of all of their friends, get together with jesus.

okay i prob have to write this too uhh sad stuff ahead judas attempts once.

he's spiraling and overworking himself and hiding it pretty well. has some petty fight with john that jesus scolds him about and then has another fight with jesus over that and overall it's not going swell.

strangely enough it's john who decides to check on him after that. he has not gotten along with judas a day in his life but he could tell how upset he was and jesus is hurt and also a little petty and isn't gonna go do it himself so he decides he might as well. to his horror he stumbles into. well. yeah

he survives.

he moves in with jesus, john and matthew for a while after that.

(a lot of them are rooming they don't have much money)

goes back to therapy too.

okay sad stuff over. it gets better. he's doing well. gets a job at an independent news page and becomes quite known among his circles for his work too.

JOHN THE BAPTIST

or JB.

he does not baptize anyone. his first name is john baptist. don't ask me the logic of being named after himself when he hasn't existed yet for people to be named after him ok making an au of a defining characteristic of current human society is fucking difficult

jesus' cousin. his mother, elisheba, is miriam's sister. she's a good fifteen years older than her, and was in her fourties the year that both jesus and jb were born so her getting pregnant was a bit of a surprise.

grew up with jesus and they're very close. they studied together and they theorized together and they discussed everything together.

very big on environmental activism. and by consequence very very anti-capitalism. very anti-fast fashion, for multiple reasons. also vegan :).

jb genuinely believes the human race is the universe's biggest abomination and we should just go extinct. he's not wrong.

he doesn't pick favorites (but he does and they're andrew and philip they're his favorites)

philip was sort of his right hand

he's kind of there to encourage all the shit jesus can't if he doesn't want absolute chaos and zero planning. give simon a pat on the back for getting into fights with racists and all that.

generally he's a little more radical that jesus is. they don't agree on everything but they both respect each other's stances.

he's so well read. it's obvious too, they're all educated obviously, but this guy talks and you can tell he knows his shit. it's very impressive.

and not even in the sense of being well informed and reading theory he knows literature he knows art he's so cultured and i don't like using the word cultured because it often brings to mind a very western very white very high class perception of "culture" but that's not what i'm talking about here.

jb calls himself an atheist in a more political sense. he believes that people shouldn't rely on some higher force to give humanity and morality substance and should instead search for meaning inside those things alone, otherwise they won't have the right motivations to be moral and therefore their beliefs will have no strong foundation.

he grew up jewish but his relationship with his faith is very personal to him and stays between him and god. he doesn't care to discuss it with anyone, except maybe jesus a few times.

sort of everyone's go-to person for advice. he's there to talk the stupid out of them.

his mother was a seamstress, and he learned from her. he likes to make a lot of his own clothes.

professionally, however, he's a translator. he speaks hebrew, english, greek, russian and arabic. (also a little bit of french and german. he's not qualified to translate those though) (is constantly in the process of learning more)

he just fixated on different alphabets as a teenager a little too hard.

[archiveoftara]

London Boy

Part 2

I found myself under a pile of bills. Utility bills, water bills, rent, things that needed to be paid but I don't even have a single penny to feed myself .

This small precious dream of mine is costing my life but I can't back out right now.

Six months ago I ran away from my toxic family, to make a living in London, to own a jewelry company but it didn't go as planned.

I banged my head on the table in frustration. What am I gonna do?

After a moment of contemplating my life, I begin to clean up the mess. Slowly picking up scattered papers when my eyes fell on an advert.

Lockwood and Co

The prestigious psychical agency requires a junior field operative and an assistant researcher. Duties will include on-site analysis of reported hauntings and the containment of same. The successful applicant will be SENSITIVE to supernatural phenomena, well-dressed, preferably female and not above fifteen years in age.

Unsuccessful applicants will include time-wasters, fraudsters and persons with criminal records. Apply in writing, together with a photograph, to 35 Portland Row, London W1.

I carefully folded the paper and rushed to my room.

33..34..ah 35. This must be place.

I check the advert again just to make sure I'm at the right place.

I fix my hair and clear my throat one more time before ringing the bell.

"Um hi-"

"Are you Arif's new girl?"

"....who's Arif?"

"Runs the corner store, usually sends someone over with donuts as you don't have any, you must be here for the interview."

I nod awkwardly. Not the best start I see

"Name?"

"Y/n y/l/n. Are you Mr. Lockwood?"

"Me? No." It seem like he is offended. "The last girl just went down but from the look of her, she won't take long."

I step inside the wide hallway, filled with artefacts, books and a chipped plant pot around the corner. This is where they keep their rapiers I guess.

"You win George. That was the last one."

"Then who's this?" The boy named George pointed at me as if I'm some alien. (and I took offense to that)

A boy with very bright, dark eyes and nice lopsided grin said "Hello, I'm Anthony Lockwood." I shook his hand and introduced myself.

"What's your talent?" Lockwood asked.

I gave a small smile "I don't have one."

For a minute I thought the time stopped. I tried to read their faces. I'm sure they're gonna kick me out.

"Well that's fine, we're looking for a researcher anyway and it doesn't need much talent, does it George?" He looked at the boy, sitting at the corner sofa.

He wiped his glasses on his t-shirt "I don't mind."

"Do you have any past experience?"

"Not really." I blushed. "But I am a fast learner, I will work hard. I really need this job."

"George will train you so don't worry." He clasped.

"This means..I got the job?"

"Yes. Welcome to Lockwood and Co"

My eyes shined like a diamond. "I'm not going to disappoint you sir, I desperately needed this job. I'll do anything, thank you so so much." I thanked them like my life depended on it and it kinda did. Lockwood and George exchanged a look (they were talking in some code word I can feel it.) It doesn't matter. I won't be here for too long.

It's been a few weeks since I've been working as a assistant researcher. We also have a new member, her name is Lucy Carlyle. She's really cool, we get along well. Lucy stays with them, they offered me accommodation, too but I refused, I still have a dream to chase.

The work is actually interesting but George makes it a bit difficult for me, he's a perfectionist. I don't blame him. I just try my best to live up to the standards. 

It's the beginning of November, the nights are chilly lately. I've just finished some papers regarding the latest case.

"We should head back it's getting late." George looks at his watch.

"Hmm?" People already left the library, it was just me and him now.

I quickly stood up but felt dizzy. I felt an arm around my waist, I felt a pair of warm brown eyes on me. His mole is cute..has he always been this cute?

"Y/n you alright?" George holds my arm.

I clear my throat "yes. perfectly fine." I quickly gathered my books and walk as fast as I could. The moment I step out of the building I was welcomed by the chilly wind hitting my face. I stood for a moment, my back against the wall. 

I feel so weird.

"Y/n, It's best we see a doctor." He frowned.

"I'm fine." 

"You wanna walk by yourself? Alright, Let's see that." George scoffed.

"Why are you so mean George Karim?" I winced.

"You're being crazy. You clearly need help." 

"George, I can manage." 

"At least let me walk you home." He insisted.

"Nope." With that I make my way home little did I know what was waiting for me.

Maybe I should've been more polite. All he wanted was to help me but I'm a big girl I can manage. It's just a little fever. I slowly made my way to the neighborhood when I felt something strange. I feel nauseas, like something rotten is near me. I felt a heaviness on my chest, something was pulling me away. Soon I felt the cold hard ground, I tried to call for help but nothing came out of my mouth that's when I heard a sound of metal drawn.

"Are you alright?" He keenly looked at me.

"What happened?" I panted. 

"You were ghostlocked. Please just let me walk you home we can argue later." He pulled me with him. 

I think my dream is gonna end before it even starts.

Hello my dear readers, first chapter is done and dusted. Excuse my crappy writing. Hope you like the chapter. Do let me know your thoughts in the comment section. I love you!!! 

Word count: 968