#hazbin hotel sir pentious's henchmen

[an4mations]

I bestow this upon thee.

And what is this, you may ask?

An ancient sketch that never made it

[edenfire]

🌸🌟 you got it, boss! 🌟🌸

since I drew sir pentious, I figured I should draw at least one of his adorable lil henchmen🥰💗💞

[vikkirosko]

Hi, if you're okay with this request. can I ask for, How would hazbin hotel characters Alastor, Angel Dust, Sir Pentious, and Lucifer react to finding out their lover/darling s/o is stuck in a contract with a demon all because they made one mistake back then which was protecting the person they thought that was their friend make a big mistake. S/o decides to take their place and sign the contract and the person they thought that was their friend wasn't and they just used them for their amusement. When s/o tells them, s/o breaking down crying all because of one past mistake they did.

Who s/o is stuck in the contract with:

Alastor: s/o stuck in a contract with Vox.

Angel Dust: s/o stuck in a contract with Aleister.

Sir Pentious: s/o stuck in a contract with Velvette.

Lucifer: s/o stuck in a contract with Alistair.

Headcanons Deal with a demon

🕷 Angel Dust x Reader 💖

Angel has known you for a long time, but he didn't expect that when Alastor showed up at the hotel, you'd be there too. He saw the irritation on your face when you were talking to radio demon and didn't understand the reason for it, but you were glad that Angel was also at the hotel. He was like a ray of sunshine to you

You worked at the hotel along with Niffty and Husk, but Angel didn't understand why you were doing what Alastor instructed you to do. It wasn't until late at night, when you were spending time watching a movie together, that he asked you about your relationship with Alastor. You lowered your head and quietly confessed that you had made a deal with him

You told me that you had a person whom you considered a friend. This person was supposed to make a deal with Alastor, but in the end, you became the one who made the deal. As it soon turned out, your friend didn't consider you that way. You were just a distraction and this person disappeared from your life shortly after the deal was made. By the end of your story, you were crying. It was still hard for you to remember that

Angel hugged you. He knew what it was like to be bound by a contract. You were both in that boat and he wasn't going to leave you alone with your problem. Maybe he didn't know how to break your deal with Alastor, but Angel was going to be there so you didn't have to go through it alone

📻 Alastor x Reader 🎙

Alastor didn't let many people get close enough to him, and that made you special to him, because he let you into his life. However, more and more often you went somewhere and came back tired. He didn't know the reason for this, so he sent some of his henchmen shadows to follow you. He was not pleased with the results. You went to Vox and he didn't know the reason for it

When you returned, you felt Alastor's attentive gaze on you. You didn't know that he found out your secret, but Alastor said that you need to have a serious conversation. His words worried you, and you were even more worried when he said that he had found out your little secret. When he said that he found out that you were going to Vox, you couldn't stand it and cried. This was not what Alastor expected

Through tears, you told him that you didn't want this, that if it was your will, you wouldn't have gone to him for the world. But you made a deal with him. You took the place of what you thought was your friend who dumped you shortly after, and now your soul is in Vox's hands. There was no turning back for you

Alastor could feel the anger starting to flare up in him, but he wasn't going to show it to you. He had plans that you weren't supposed to know about. To begin with, Alastor was going to find out who you made the deal with Vox for, and then find a way to break this deal. He had to find a gap in this deal, at least a small loophole, so that Vox would no longer have power over you

🐍Sir Pentious x Reader 🎩

Sir Pentious knew that you worked for Velvette, but he was sure that you were working for her of your own free will. However, when you both started staying at the hotel, he noticed that every time you had to go to work, you looked like you were going to your own execution. It bothered him a lot, but he didn't know how best to ask you about it

When you returned to the hotel tired again, Sir Pentious asked you why you wouldn't quit since this job is so hard. You sighed heavily and told him that you work for Velvette not because you want to, but because you made a deal with her and now you have to do what she tells you

You told him about how a person you thought was your friend was going to make a deal with her, but you didn't want to let that happen. That's why you made a deal with Velvette. It soon became clear that your friend thought you were just entertainment and you made a deal for the sake of a person who actually treated you with indifference

When he looked at you, he saw tears in your eyes. Sir Pentious hugged you. He felt tears welling up in the corners of his eyes as well. He was offended that you were so betrayed and he wanted to help you, even though he didn't know how. But at least he wanted to be there to give you moral support

🍎 Lucifer Morningstar x Reader 🐍

Lucifer was well aware that some demons who were born in Hell made deals with humans. It was not surprising to him that sinners also began to make deals with other sinners. He didn't get involved in it and didn't think about it much until he met you. You were one of the sinners who worked at his daughter's hotel and you and Lucifer got along well. However, there was something that you were often stressed about

Alastor often assigned you different jobs and Lucifer did not understand why radio demon fancied himself your boss. That's why he decided to ask you about it. At first you were silent, but then you still told him that you had made a deal with Alastor, which at that time seemed to you the right choice. But you were wrong and regretted it, but you couldn't do anything anymore

You had a friend who was going to make a deal with Alastor, but instead of a friend, you made this deal. As it turned out, your friend used you and now you have been abandoned, betrayed, and you were bound by a deal with Alastor. By the end of your story, you were crying and Lucifer was trying to calm you down. It was hard for him to see your tears

Lucifer had never broken other people's deals before, even though he knew for sure that he could do it. But now he had a reason to do it. He didn't want you to suffer because of this deal, so he wanted to set you free, because who but the king of Hell had power over souls and the deals that bound them. At least sometimes, he could take advantage of his position

[powerpuffobsession]

Am I the only one who feels that Hazbin Hotel's overall vibe is far too naive and upbeat for an adult cartoon about hell and redemption of sinners?

I feel like before writing this cartoon, Vivzie and the other writers should have made a trip to unfortunate areas of the world and watch how the lifestyle there rolls. Because hell is said to be a place of misery, where there is no trust and a lot of hate, both internal and external... Adam is an object of pure unfiltered hartred (both from writers and fandom) because he dares to live in heaven, such a safe and friendly-natured place...

And yet the sinners who happen to be main characters act more like school kids on a field trip (even more carefree than those, lol) - their selfish and sinful motives are so artificial and are brought up only when these characters need to look like a victim, not like criminals who somehow deserved a place in hell

Obviously, it's a manipulative trope to put them in a better light than Heaven and Adam (who is forever silenced by the writers and not allowed to voice any thoughts and reflections other than "hurr durr murder I luuuv murdering and being evil because that's what I was since I was born, even though Lilith and Eve, born literally the same way as me, were innocent victims from the get go, and no logical explanation for that will be provided whatsoever - men bad, women good")

In the light of all that, the sinners are too eager to trust each other and form "da epic powar of friendship" mlp-sonic-style

In a society built on terror, anarchy and survival instincts, no one would ever bother wasting vital power on noticing someone's problems and helping them out. Everyone is focused on their own problems and desires, and that's what drives them to act. Well, the exception may be family members, and even that varies

That's why Husk's intent to comfort Angel after the later attacks him over nothing at the bar, looks really fake, considering the setting. At first I thought that "loser baby" where Husk insults Angel, was some sort of revenge and Husk laughing in the spider's face. But no, it actually turned out to be a comforting song that started their friendship. Husk literally had no motivation to want to help Angel, because he was annoyed by him all the time prior. If there was some kind of basis for their bonding, I would have believed it. But not like this.

And Angel had no reason to actually like that sort of comfort. I get it when your best friend or a family member cheers you up in a harsh way - you know them. And even when coming from people you trust that can hurt. Now imagine a complete stranger doing that to you. That's actually something that shouldn't be done - trying to playfully insult or jester a person you haven't communicated with for a long enough time to gain their trust. And to make this even more strange, Angel at first reacts negatively, but then suddenly snaps to liking that disrespectful way of comforting for no reason at all.

And why did Angel even vent his problems to Husk, a stranger bartender who he'd hurt before. Wasn't he actually afraid of being laughed at and of Husk using his trauma to spread gossip around or something?

Next, Sir Pentious. In the pilot (which is officially part of canon, mind you), he already felt like a joke sunday cartoon villain, but at least he had some edge to him that made him look like a sinner with some dark history. In the series however, he gets nerfed the very moment he steps into the hotel to the point where it's painful to look at

His tendency to abuse his henchmen, his physopathic demeanor, his hartred for Cherri (instead of embarrassing attempts to get blue balled by her), his sincere power hunger - where did all that go? Vanished in a blink of an eye. All that's left of a promising snake demon is a pile of fanservice. So morally unchallenging and harmless that a viewer theoretically simply cannot resist loving him

Well i'm kind disappointed. We don't even know in what way Sir Pentious had to improve, because the plot never focused on his past, his life goals, whatever made him want to lead turf wars and whatever awful things he did in life, what was the point where he started degrading... none of that. He just became a better person after one "sorry song" and acted perfectly innocent ever since and didnt put any effort into getting ready to sacrifice himself for other main characters

The sacrifice... to me it's baffling how fast the sinners, over the course of just 6 months, actually became Charlie's family figures and risked their lives for her hotel. Such pure child-cartoon-styled power of friendship, built in hell, with the aid of a princess who cant even think through her project of helping sinners without bringing them more trouble... realistically, Charlie would have had to fight angels alone (how convenient it is that no main characters died in that chaotic brawl, right?)

And Charlie herself is far too naiive and soft-natured for someone who is free to walk along the streets of hell looking at all the muder, rape and othe horrible stuff that's happening there. Given that she's 200, Charlie had more than enough time to built up her street smarts and guts and learn to be more practical and mindful, instead of staying with the mind of a 12 year old who needs other characters to do everything for her (Lucifer, Vaggie, Alastor) and then get praised for THEIR efforts. That's hell's royalty and our main character?

Aaand since sinners are portrayed as Charlie's "people" (as if they are a nationality), sweet babies who all deserve redemption and are called innocent by Emily (I can't believe how dumb the writers made angels be) - the true essence of exterminatons is never focused on. Adam and his exterminator army are seen in the wrong, like some kind of monsters who terrorize poor souls. However, think about this - child molesters, rapists, torturers, bullies, nazists, actual racists etc died in those exterminations. Doesnt that seem like something a lot of us would want? To have scum like this disappear as revenge for people they have hurt/driven to suicide?

Exterminations are not really an act of racism, bigotry or something like that. They are an excecution of criminals, which a lot of sinners are.

But the black and white writing is trying to conceal that rather prominent highlight of the rotten part of Charlie's plan (not all sinners deserve mercy or redemption). All that was needed was to make exterminators these icky "villains" who luuuv killing and are never willing to listen

All in all, a cartoon that has an ambitious premise that should be driven by psychological reasearch/analysis and dark serious themes... makes me roll my eyes with its cliche use of "power of friendship" and " strictly good main characters, strictly bad villains" tropes. Too bad such beautiful animation was wasted on such juvenile writing that never had any effort put into it

There shouldn't even be any villains or heroes in a setting like this. Allow the lead roles (sinners in hell) do something actually questionable and be unlikable, don't coddle the viewer in fear of making them even the slightest bit uncomfortable. Allow those, who opposes sinmers, have personalities and reasons, not cliche sociopathy for sociopathy's sake to cause forced sympathy for the main characters

Pristine "safe" writing should not have a place in adult cartoons. Or else they will stay a product that'd rather be watched by 7-14 year olds instead of adults (I can't picture a single adult over 22 who would unironically call hazbin hotel a show that tackles realistic issues in an observant way)

[jahnavisurenda-21]

Hazbin Hotel||Alastor X Reader||Creating Trouble Part 1. ||Kidnaping Scenario

Being a human was a taboo in hell, all the words you never herd you herd, everything you never felt you felt, and it got you a lot of attention from the different residents.

TW- Trigger warning, Mentions of molestation, mild language.

You couldn't scream or utter a single cry of desperation. These demons were much stronger than you could ever imagine, your worst fear was just about to come true.

"Just spray that perfume or whatever boss gave, before the radio demon comes." One muffled voice ordered.

Then you blacked out before they tied you up in constraints.

Everyone had been going nuts about the new extermination dates which had been scheduled much earlier. Everyone was creating havoc in hell during that time,

You came across a page, when you were with Alastor one of those days there was some tension and beef between Alastor and the top face of Vee.

"Oh, that's nothing, my dear! Just a little resident here who thinks he owns all of hell." Alastor said with a big grin,

"Your voice is really nice you know? Can I have those old records of yours that you were going to broadcast but never did?"

"They are just drafts my dear, it's useless."

"If they are so useless, why did you keep them?"

"Maybe I should show it to you someday my dear, I think you'll quite enjoy them. Now go to sleep while I finish some business with some co-workers of mine." Alastor instructed you had a habit of always neglecting your bedtime and sleeping the whole day.

That particular incident flashed before you were woken up with someone kicking your leg and splashing some water.

"I really thought that was some messed up shit you know. You think Lucifer's brat would?"

"Miss Bleeding Heart would probably be dead by now if it isn't that stupid radio demon watching her back all the time."

"Oh, speaking of the radio demon, did the brat wake up already? She sleeps too much; I'll just give her to one of the cannibals."

You woke up but instantly flinched when someone tall, wearing heart-shaped glasses, and a pink coat, type of soul came in front of you.

"How cute." He said amused, "Hey how much money do you think the brat can make?"

"Oh, shut it, Valentino, I didn't ask my henchmen to kidnap her so you could strike some business deal or some shit like that."

"So, listen here bitch, everyone here is horny assholes and if you want to keep that body of yours in peace, you better suck it up and answer all my questions one by one."

"OH, Kinky!" Valentino squealed.

Your heart raced rapidly, it felt like your diaphragm couldn't relax anymore and your mind had gone blank with fear, you would think with those comedic looks they would be good for a few hearty laughs.

But All your friends and you knew they were rivals.

"So did Miss Bleeding Heart and your little boyfriend ever strike a deal or something?"

"M... Miss bleeding heart?" You softly called out,

"Yeah, Lucifer's brat."

"I.. I don't know." You simply said just to be met with a harsh slap, shocking you. "I'm only a human I don't interfere with these things!"

"So, you're telling me, the radio demon has not gone soft after meeting you?"

"How is my personal status of any relevance?" You questioned,

You lay unconscious down below, struggling to get up you took a look around your surroundings, it was dark but a little dim blue light from the TV alerted you; you were bruised, and it hurt to breathe, how did you even survive?

It looked like the corridors were locked, and you were just left discarded here, with your remaining strength you hurried to the T.V., and it was the same page when Vox and Alastor had that little tension.

Could you reach anyone from here?

Judging by your injuries you must have been out at least for two to three days.

Back in the hotel.

It was Husk who noticed that you were literally not anywhere in the hotel, it further confirmed his suspicions, when Sir Pentious and Niffty asked about you, "Where did the goody two shoes go? She's acting like a bad girl!" Niffty huffed.

Everyone had been in a panic, at last when Alastor came back from one of his trips, he would always usually bring you a little trinket or something,

"My dear, sorry I got so caught up--" He realized you were not there.

Two days had passed when no news of your disappearance was updated, but it was getting busy as hell in the hotel and it angered Alastor when he was told to do something that didn't involve tracking you.

One day when Valentino had enough of your refusal he declared, He would ravage you if you didn't open your mouth.

Vox didn't want the entire image to get threatened by the media.

"So how are you, Alastor? Saw the sudden stop with your regular updates."

"Well, you see I'm in a bit of a dilemma myself, a dear friend of mine has been missing."

"Friend?' Vox laughed, "I thought it was more of a plaything?"

He pushed your tired form to the counter, as you barely managed to stabilize yourself.

It was Valentino who grabbed your collar and made you look at Alastor,

Alastor's eyes darkened, a threatening aura had befallen him, which made you nervous. Even if none of the anger was directed towards you.

When he left the remaining support you fell down again, "Exceedingly weak!" Valentino urged, kicking your frail body.

Charlie burst into tears, and Angel instantly bombarded the two with questions, "Did you piece of shi--"

"Anymore and she'll be of good use to me." Valentino warned.

Before the screen was shut.

"That was good don't you think?"

"Now we have to be wary of that Radio demon."

"I'll fucking kill them." Alastor's eyes widened when he recalled your body being manhandled, and thrown with such disregard,

He grew into his demonic form the more he thought about it the more, sadistic the punishments he concocted in his head grew.

"You worry about not letting the hotel fall into shambles, I'll make the Vee wish I'd stay gone."

[bbgliker-teehee]

As much as I don't like Hazbin hotel nor the episodes itself and how they executed them, there is some.... I mean one, positive things I liked. One being the episode with Sir Pentious and the egg henchmen.

... Actually that is the only positive thing I liked, because I'm a huge sucker for family fluff so of course I gobbled this all up like it was my saturday breakfast. And it also managed to give him more layers as well, suprisingly.

Like... The way he genuinely was hurt when Vaggie said he has to leave his egg henchmen because of the whole wanting to be redeemed to go to heaven and the way he was in tears when he reunites with his egg boys manages to show that despite him being harsh at times he REALLY cares about them so much, and considering he's been a loner his entire life, it's understandable that he gets sad at the fact he has to leave them because he genuinely sees the henchmen as his own children (even if he doesn't say it out loud and dissproves it by saying they're incompetent and get in his way at times, his actions managed to speak louder than words and they managed to show that he cares about them... Wow, didn't expect a show don't tell aspect to be done correctly)

And the ending scene.... My GOD the ending scene don’t make me talk about the ending scene with the eggs and pentious in episode 3, we’d be here all day lol.

Bottom line is Pentious and his egg sons are precious and deserve to be out of this dumpster fire of a series and in an actual good series.

Family fluff for the win baby!

Pen is the ONLY one saving this show atp

[kayleydreams]

Chapter 8: Eggs-cluded Companionsss

Sir Pentious makes breakfast!

!

Chapter Text

Sir Pentious woke up in his nest of a bed surrounded by his beloved egg henchmen.

"Good mornin', my loveliesss," Sir Pentious hissed with a voice that slithered like a serpent. His sibilant tones filled the air, a blend of timidity and an attempt at grandeur. "Today'ss plan requireth precission, my dear egg boyz. Prepare yourselvesss for a day of resplendent engineering and, perchance, a touch of mayhem." Sir Pentious hissed softly to himself, his vibrant scales glinting in the morning light as he navigated the Hazbin Hotel's deserted halls. The absence of the usual bustling activity left an eerie quiet hanging in the air. As he slithered down the grand staircase, he couldn't help but notice the void left by the missing residents. "Ah, the hush of an empty nest," he mumbled in his distinct hissing voice. "It seemss my compatriots have embarked on endeavors of their own." Making his way to the kitchen, Sir Pentious decided to channel his loneliness into a grand culinary experiment. Pots and pans clanged together as he concocted an elaborate breakfast, hissing out commentary to his egg boiz. "Today, we prepare a feast fit for serpent royalty! A culinary masterpiece to rival the most decadent of delights!" His agile tail expertly maneuvered ingredients, adding a dash of theatrics to the cooking process. Sir Pentious surveyed the kitchen. The egg boiz, his loyal henchmen, eagerly awaited his command, their large eyes fixed on their serpentine leader. A peculiar moment of hesitation struck Sir Pentious as he glanced towards the fridge, where a carton of eggs rested. For a brief moment, his eyes lingered on the oval-shaped objects, and a subtle conflict played out in his expressive gaze. After a thoughtful pause, Sir Pentious decided to forgo the use of the eggs. "Today, my dear egg boiz, we shall craft a feast that celebrates life without the use of our namesakes," he declared with a theatrical sweep of his tail, gesturing towards an assortment of non-egg-related ingredients. The egg boiz, though slightly bewildered, bumbled their approval, ready to assist in any culinary endeavor their eccentric leader embarked upon. The kitchen soon echoed with the clatter of utensils and the aromatic symphony of Sir Pentious's culinary exploits. Sir Pentious made Serpentine Sourdough Toast, Artisanal sourdough bread slices toasted to a perfect crunch, shaped like sinuous serpents. Served with honey. Slithering Smoothie Bowl with real moving fruit! And Cobra Coil Cinnamon Rolls, Soft and fluffy cinnamon rolls coiled into the shape of cobra snakes, drizzled with icing. However, as the aromatic symphony of his culinary creation wafted through the hotel, the absence of the usual banter and laughter became even more pronounced. Sir Pentious couldn't shake the feeling of solitude that lingered like a specter in the once lively hotel. His eyes caught the vacant seats that once held the familiar faces of Angel Dust, Husk, and the others. With a dramatic sigh, he decided to embrace the solitude, opting to dine alone. The table, usually bustling with life, now bore only the elaborate breakfast he had prepared for his absent companions. "Alone, yet surrounded by the remnants of camaraderie," he mused, his hissing voice echoing softly in the empty room. As he indulged in his culinary creation, Sir Pentious contemplated.

A sudden burst of activity entered the dining hall as Niffty, the embodiment of chaos, darted about in pursuit of a roach. The elusive insect danced just out of reach but with a swift and masterful strike, Niffty finally cornered her tiny adversary, impaling it skillfully with a sewing needle that seemed comically large in her small hand. A triumphant grin adorned her face as she addressed the deceased bug, reveling in her victory.

"HAHAHA, got you! You thought you could escape me," she declared with glee, her voice resonating with the delight of a successful hunt. She expertly stowed the conquered bug into her pocket. Sir Pentious, noticing the sudden burst of activity, turned his serpentine gaze toward the energetic Niffty. "Ahh, Niffty, how delightful to see someone, anyone," he hissed, his long tail flicking in a gesture of animated welcome. Niffty, her eyes gleaming with mischievous energy, twirled around and noticed Sir Pentious in all his snakelike glory. She grinned, her needle held aloft like a triumphant trophy.

"Heya! What's cooking? Or rather, what's hissing?" Niffty's high-pitched voice echoed through the hall as she approached, her chaotic aura leaving a trail of whirlwind behind her.

"I've made sssome food! Pleasse help yourself." As Niffty happily accepted the invitation, Sir Pentious gestured with a flourish of his tail towards the elaborate breakfast spread. The once lonely dining area now buzzed with a unique blend of chaos and serpentine sophistication. The duo, an unlikely pair of demons, settled into the vibrant morning routine that Sir Pentious had longed for. The clinking of cutlery and the occasional hiss of approval created a more lively atmosphere than the egg boiz could have given Pentious alone. A glowing portal opened in the main lounge the yellow ring that looked as if it was on fire showed the glimpses of the angelic presence beyond. The ethereal gateway pulled Charlie and Vaggie into the hotel feet first, depositing them flat on the floor. Charlie in a moment of anger hit the floor with her hand. "SHIT!" she exclaimed, the echo of her vexation resonating through the room. Vaggie, quick to recover, rose to her feet and extended a helping hand to Charlie. However brushed off the offer, choosing to stand on her own. The air crackled with tension. "Welcome back I made breakfasst if you would like ssome?" Sir Pentious says hesitantly.

[selineram3421]

Ooooh! HC 25 with besties Alastor and Reader please?

Yay for the besties!

HC 25 : "Bite down on this."

Lol what?

The Taste of Leather

Platonic: Alastor X Reader Oneshot

Warning! ⚠

⚠ explosives, killing of Egg-men, cussing, descriptive injuries, stitches, threats ⚠

~

You know when your friends do something that's obviously dumb and dangerous, but you go anyways just to keep an eye on them?

Yeah, that's what you were doing right now in a workshop.

Cherri was currently in the process of strapping a bomb to one of Sir Pentious newest inventions, Angel was helping by setting up more bombs.

The job you had was lookout.

You got dragged into this mess just for being nearby Angel when he got a text from her.

"Got all of them set up?", the one eyed demon asks.

"You bet'cha babe!", Angel says, dusting his hands off. "When is this thing gonna go off anyway?"

"Five minutes.", Cherri answers.

Five-

"Five minutes!?", you ask, looking back at the two. "That's barely enough time to leave without getting caught!"

And just as you say that, an Egg henchman spots you and pushes a red button.

"Well fuck."

An alarm goes off and red lights flash. Cherri sets the timer, running up and kicking the Egg-man over the railing.

Crack!

"Let's go!", she smiles and starts running.

You and Angel follow, killing of the Egg-men with guns and other weapons.

"We don't have time for this!", you growl, hitting an Egg-man with a bat, and punching another that was running up to you.

"I mean, we could jump out one of the windows.", the spider demon comments.

"And break an arm? No thank you.", you say, shoving an Egg into the wall. "Ew, I'm covered in guts.", you look down at your hands.

Finally the exit door is in view and you're the last one to run out of the building. The five minutes are up, the workshop explodes.

"Ah!", you shout as you're blown away by the blast, hitting your leg against a metal pole.

The sound it makes is concerning. Like a snap and a crunch.

"FUCKING SHIT!", you cry out on the ground.

"Oh fuck!", Angel calls out your name and runs over to you. He cringes as he takes a closer look at your leg. "That ain't good."

You groan and look over to see the damage.

Bone pokes through your skin, revealing your torn up muscles and the other half of the bone. Oh, and tons of blood.

"That's a lot-", your eyes roll back and you pass out.

.

Alastor was reading the news paper, taking a sip of his coffee when Angel burst through the door of his radio tower.

"Smiles! Need a little help!", the fluffy demon shouts.

"What in the blazes!? Angel!", Alastor had spilled his coffee onto the paper. "₩Ⱨ₳₮!?", he turns to look at the demon with radio dials for eyes.

He stops soon after once seeing your passed out form. They quickly set you on the couch and Alastor gathers some tools to help with fixing your leg.

You wake up screaming, feeling your broken leg being pulled.

"Bite down on this.", Alastor puts a belt in your mouth to bite on.

You do so and your shouts of pain are muffled a bit. Eyes tearing up from the burning and stabbing feeling in your leg.

"Almost done hun.", Angel says holding one of your hands.

When that part is done, you feel numb as the gash on your leg is stitched up. Belt out of your mouth but there's still the lingering taste of leather. Tear stains on your face as you sniffle.

"You fucking asshole.", you mumble. "I'm kicking you in the balls once my leg is all healed."

"Haha..", Angel laughs, grimacing as your hold crushes his hand.

Alastor grins, wrapping your leg up with gauze, prepping to make a cast. "I'd like to see that."

Your cast is complete!

Angel gets a marker, popping off the cap. "I'm gonna draw a dick!"

You quickly toss a pillow to his face. "Fuck off, Alastor gets to sign first."

Once getting the marker, Alastor signs his name and writes some song lyrics. Then Angel gets the marker.

"No dicks, not unless you want yours removed.", you threaten.

"Fine.", the spider huffs and just writes his name with a heart at the end.

The porn star leaves after you've decided to stay at the radio tower.

"So!", Alastor says with a clap of his hands. "Care to tell me how this happened?"

"Ugh..", you groan and flop your head back onto a pillow. "Angel dragged me to set up some bombs with Cherri. My leg hit a pole and-", you gesture to your leg in the cast. "..well..this was the outcome."

He hums and picks up his empty mug.

"Say, why don't I make us some soup? It does sound appetizing.", he says and the news paper on the table disappears with a snap of his fingers.

"Mmmm...soup.", you hum in agreement. "With meat, veggies. And some bread on the side.", you list off.

Alastor covers you with a blanket. "I'll get you some painkillers and water before I make it. Rest now."

This was one of the pros of being best friends with the Radio Demon.

He makes good soup.

Good soup.

.

.

.

.

Later.

"I can put a fast healing spell, so you can surprise Angel.", Alastor smiles like a menace.

"Hell yeah.", you cheer.

~

If you couldn't tell, I want soup.

~Seline, the person.

Prompt-list: ✨here✨

ML for Alastor🎙

[onewingednatu]

A couple things I still find amusing in the Hazbin Hotel pilot;

Katie Killjoy refuses to shake Charlie's hand, saying she doesn't touch "the gays", and shortly after proceeds to poke Charlie in the chest and then the nose like GIRL MAKE UP YO MIND DO YOU WANT TO TOUCH OR

Angel Dust jokes in the limo that Vaggie's stuck with him because he's already in hell and can't die, meanwhile they just had a goddamn purge where countless sinners died, also Angel please you watched a demon [that stole your drugs] get crushed by a boulder and also I'm sure you killed several of Sir Pentious' egg henchmen

[sionfaileas]

Angel Dust Proving that Charlie's Dream is Possible

I haven't seen anything about this as of yet, but in the Hazbin Hotel pilot there are a couple little things that Angel does that shows that maybe Charlie's influence is working. They're really clever little things that people may have missed, so I'm going to point them out here!

1. Territory Fight

When Angel is fighting with Cherry against Pentious he has a moment of selflessness. Doesn't seem like something that a denizen of hell would do. Be selfless? Care about others?

Well, it seems like Charlie and Vaggie's plans may have some potential.

In the fight, after Angel's made the majority of his dirty jokes, one of Sir Pentious's egg henchmen sneaks up behind them with a blaster. Noticing this, Angel's eyes widen and he hastily pushes Cherry out of the way of the blast- he even looks concerned as he does this. That's a caring thing to do there Angel.

2. Hotel Entrance

When they first get back to the hotel Angel goes to grab something to eat, finding the only thing there to be an old box of popsicles, he makes a comment in poor taste. However, it's evident that this comment was made to try and make light of something that was heavy, and to dispel Charlie's somber mood. Someone (a demon) who didn't care wouldn't have tried to do this at all, and may have even reveled in the unhappiness since it was caused by them.

However, when this doesn't work we get a moment of indecision. Angel frowns and looks sad for a split moment before taking a little step forward and reaching halfway out as though getting ready to move and console Charlie. Mid movement he freezes and looks away unhappily before he drops his hands and walks away. There's no shrug to show that he's just brushing the situation off, it's clear that he doesn't really think much about what he's done, but his subconcious movements speak loudly.

I doubt that demons are much for caring and comforting, but Angel shows a potential for both in this moment. He may hesitate, which is likely his demonic side warring with this new influence and these new feelings, but he still made the moves.

3. Honorable Mentions

- In the very beginning in the porn studio, if you pause when the texts on the phone are on screen you can read a convorsation between the girl and Angel. He's doing her a favour without really knowing why, and it seems as though he's not really getting anything in return.

- Despite the jokes made about it, showing up to help Cherry and back her up actually /was/ a nice thing to do. He even ended up directly protecting her.

- He keeps his fanmail? Look, if he didn't care he would just throw it out, but he keeps it on him, likely to remind himself that he's desirable.

- He, fairly gently, holds Vaggie back during Alastor's musical number to keep her from trying to attack him. Something that most definately wouldn't go well.

[snarkybluechristian]

Hazbin Hotel: Yandere Alastor x Vaggie Chapter 38

Thankfully, Molly and Vaggie didn’t have to wait very long.

After about five minutes of driving, all the passengers suddenly heard a crash through the driver’s side window.  

Immediately, the limo swerved off the road onto the road’s right shoulder, knocking all the passengers over to the right with Molly just managing to keep herself and Vaggie invisible.

The next thing everyone heard was the sound of the driver and the bodyguard scrambling out of their seats, coughing, and desperately gasping for air as smoke could be seen blowing through both open doorways of the limo.

“What the fuck is going on?!” Valentino snarled through his teeth, shoving Angel off him and dashing out the door.  “Shade, Octavius, what are you…?  HEY!”

Molly immediately sprung for the door and locked Valentino out of the car.

“Untie Angel!” Molly said turning her head to Vaggie.  “Now!”

Vaggie nodded, sat next to Angel, and pulled the gag out Angel’s mouth.

“Thanks, doll,” Angel replied with a weary smile as Vaggie rolled him onto his side.

“Thank me after we’ve escaped, dumbass,” Vaggie replied sarcastically.

Valentino stood in place absolutely dumbfounded.  

“You’re Angel’s sister and Alastor’s squeeze?  How in the hell did you get in there?!  And you two!” Valentino snarled towards his two henchmen.  “What the fuck did you swerve off the road for?!  What is going on?!”

“A bazooka fired a smoke bomb into our car, boss!” the driver managed to get out before he returned to coughing.

“What?!” Valentino replied.  

BOOM!

Just then, another bomb exploded on Valentino’s back.  He fell over, feeling absolutely disoriented.

“HEY, SHITLORD!” a familiar voice screamed from across the road.  “BACK AWAY FROM THE CAR NOW!”

“Cherri?” Angel muttered as Vaggie finally managed to pull the straitjacket off his shoulders.

“You?!” Valentino growled, just managing to get to his feet and walk in front of the car with the help of his gargoyle bodyguard while his blue flame driver.  “You have a lot of nerve to come after me like this, you little bitch.  Where are you?!”

As the smoke billowed around them, the sound of a motorcycle could be heard revving from across the road.

In the next second, a motorcycle sped across the road without a rider crashing into Valentino and Octavius and knocking them off the road.

Cherri Bomb then ran through the smoke and threw another bomb at the two demons pinned under the motorcycle for good measure.

“Right here,” Cherri said before gesturing to Shade trembling next to his fallen boss and co-worker.  “And if you try to intervene, I’ll summon a bigger bomb.  Now, get in the car and drive me to where Angel is!”

“Cherri!  Over here!”

Cherri looked over at the back of the limo to see that Angel had rolled down the window and was wearily waving his arm to get her attention.

“ANGIE!” Cherri yelled in surprise.  

“Cherri!” Angel replied reaching out the window for her.  “I missed you!”

“Angel!  What are ya doing?!” Molly yelled as she pulled her brother back in his drug-induced stupor.  “Get back in here before you fall on the road!”

Cherri ran over to the back seat with a worried expression on her face and asked, “Angel, what’s wrong with you?”

Meanwhile, Vaggie rolled down the window to the front seat, climbed in, shut and locked the passenger side door, climbed to the driver’s seat, and yelled, “Get in and drive!  I’ll explain everything, but we gotta get out of here!”

“Okay,” Cherri agreed.

“Y-you’re not going anywhere!” Shade yelled sheepishly holding a gun in Cherri’s face while Valentino and Octavius worked together to push the motorcycle off them.

“MOVE IT, MOTHERFUCKER!” Cherri yelled, throwing a bomb that went off in Shade’s face which caused him to fall over immediately.  

Cherri quickly jumped into the car and slammed the door shut behind her.

Vaggie slid over and looked out the window in time to see Valentino and Octavius push the motorcycle off.

Before Vaggie could say a word, Cherri took the wheel, got the car out of parking, slammed her foot on the accelerator, and sped away as fast as she could.

From the rearview mirror, Vaggie could see Valentino scream at his men as the two of them opened fire on the limo while Valentino got the motorcycle back on its wheels.

“Oh, fuck!  They’re comin’ after us!” Vaggie warned.  

“Oh, dammit!” Cherri cursed, looking through the same rearview mirror.  “The motorcycle didn’t explode from the bomb?!  I guess the fucker I stole it from had it custom made.”

“Who’d you steal it from?” Vaggie asked.

“Sir Pentious,” Cherri replied.  

“Of course,” Vaggie said with a facepalm.

“Don’t worry!” Molly said summoning guns with three of her arms while opening the sunroof with her free hand.  “I got us covered.”

“Be careful,” Angel said from his splayed out position across the floor of the limo.

Molly stood in the sunroof just as the trio came towards them on the motorcycle and opened fire.  Shade drove the motorcycle while Valentino rode behind him and fired his guns back.  Octavius flew high into the sky on his gargoyle wings to keep track of the limo below.

“Can someone tell me what the fuck is going on?” Cherri said to Vaggie from behind the wheel.  “How did you and Angel get here?!”

“Molly saved me from Alastor,” Vaggie explained.  “And we saved Angel from Valentino.”

“Yep,” Molly said, without losing her aim or her concentration.  “Alastor punished Vaggie for telling Angel about my family’s plans by tying her down with tentacles in a creepy room, so I got her out of there.  Then, we turned invisible and followed Valentino and Angel to this limo!”

“I miss Fat Nuggets,” Angel said, playfully moving his head back and forth.  “I want to cuddle him while he goes oink, oink, oink…”

“What’s wrong with Angel?” Cherri asked while Angel continued oinking.

“Valentino drugged him,” Vaggie said.

“What?!” Cherri exclaimed.  “With what?”

“I don’t know,” Angel interjected.  “But everything’s fine.”

Suddenly a bullet whizzed through the back seat and through the windshield.

“Molly, Valentino’s bullets are hitting the car!” Vaggie yelled.  

“I know!” Molly yelled anxiously.  

“Use this!” Angel exclaimed from the backseat, using his third pair of arms to summon a bazooka.  

“Thanks, twin brother,” Molly said with a wink, grabbing the weapon from Angel and aiming it towards the oncoming motorcycle.

Molly found her target and pulled the trigger.  

Valentino and his driver could only scream helplessly as the projectile hit their motorcycle causing them both to crash over on the side of the road.

“Bullseye!” Molly screamed while Vaggie, Cherri, and Angel cheered from inside the car.

Octavius instantly dived from his position in the sky to attend to his boss and colleague as the limo continued to speed away.  

Being a flame, Shade stood up unscathed.  Valentino wasn’t so lucky.

No one in the limo could see Valentino’s injuries from that distance, but they could see the bodyguard picking up his maimed body in his arms.

Angel sat up, looked out the window, waved his hand flirtatiously, and said, “Bye, bye, bossy!”

“That solves one problem,” Molly said as she lowered herself back into the car and rolled up the sunroof.

“But we have a bigger one,” Vaggie said with a sigh.  “Alastor is eventually going to notice we’re gone, and when he does, it won’t take him long to catch up to us.”

“We can hide at my place,” Cherri offered.  “That’s originally what I was gonna do with Angel anyway.”

“No, Alastor’s gonna look there because he’s been there before,” Angel said, suddenly leaning into the front seat.  “Let’s hide at Molly’s place.  She has a nice soft bed, and Alastor won’t think to look there!”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Vaggie said, pushing Angel back into the backseat area.  “But I don’t think we could hide there either.  We have to hide somewhere where Alastor wouldn’t think to look right away.  At least, until Angel recovers, and we can find a way to reach Charlie.”

“That would be a good idea if this were anyone else, but this is Alastor,” Molly said sternly as her twin brother collapsed onto her lap.  “Alastor is one of the most powerful overlords that Hell has ever seen.  He has more supernatural power and resources than any of us can comprehend.  Neither Arackniss nor my Dad know where I live and that would buy us some time, but I can’t imagine that that would stop Alastor for very long.”

“You’re right,” Vaggie conceded.  “We need to get Charlie now.”

“The princess?” Cherri asked.

“Yes, Charlie doesn’t show it, but she is the only being we know who’s powerful enough to fight off Alastor,” Vaggie replied confidently as a smile spread across her face.  “She has powers from her father that only the other fallen royalty possess.  Trust me, my girlfriend can be fierce when she wants to be.”

“Then, what are we waiting for?” Molly said, handing Vaggie her phone.  “Call Charlie now.  Here, you can use my phone.”

“Inside of every demon is a rainbow…” Angel began singing from his spot on Molly’s lap as Vaggie dialed her girlfriend’s number.

[antis-delete-your-blogs-pls-thx]

Watching Hazbin Hotel finally

I fucking love Sir Pentious's egg henchmen omg THEYRE SO CUTE

Also Tom Trench, the limpdick newsman

[kylendooleydesigns]

Hazbin Hotel and My Thoughts on Feminism

This review is in no way aimed at any one specific group or ideology. These are mere opinions that people can choose to agree or not agree with. I am no way trying to sway the minds of anyone who chooses to read this review, people have their own opinions and have the right to express them. Thank you.

First, let me begin with my thoughts on the "modern feminist", I'll get to what I mean by that in a moment. For now, let's start with what the definition of feminism is; Merriam-Webster defines feminism as the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes and the organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests.

Now, with that said, I'd for everyone to pay attention to the word "equality". Feminism's roots can be traced all the way back to Plato and his classic Republic, where he advocated that women had the "natural capacities" that were equal to that of men for governing and defending Ancient Greece. (Olson, John, History.com) Ever since Plato's advocation for women's equal standing to men, women have been protesting and fighting for their rights to stand at the same political and economic point as their male counterparts. It wasn't until the late 18th and early 19th centuries when women were finally given their right to vote, New Zealand being the first sovereign state to give these rights to their women. After this revolutionary change, women joined in the war efforts of WWII, the Civil Rights movements, and began the Equal Pay Act of 1963, which still continues to this day.

Now, while I admit that the idea that the Equal Pay Act was created in 1963 and we are still dealing with the unfair distribution of pay between men and women, I'd like to bring up a personal point. My mother, who was born in 1963 mind you, has been working since her teenage years. She joined the military, got married, had a kid, divorced, remarried, and had another kid after her time in the military had come to an end, she fighting in the Gulf War before then. With only a military background and no college degree, my mom continued and still continues to work for the government through checking military helicopters for cracks to keep them from falling apart from atmospheric pressure. She's worked like this for over thirty years, seeing people come and go, men getting laid off or getting paid more than her fellow female co-workers. With that said, my mom actually gets paid more than most the men she works with, not only because she's the only one at her workplace who has the qualifications to do her line of work, but because she rarely ever takes time off. In fact, while she was pregnant with me, my mom refused to take maternity leave and went on working in this hazardous workplace despite the many objections of her male co-workers all the way up to my birth, my dad having to travel back and forth to see both my mom and me while he got our current house ready, meaning he wasn't always there to take care of her.

Years later, a female co-worker of hers got pregnant, took her maternity leave and when she got back, she found out a male co-worker had gotten paid more than her since her time away. She of course went off on her supervisor, but here's the thing: because she had taken her maternity leave and was unable to work, her male co-worker had to basically take on a double-shift and do the work she was in charge of, thus receiving pay for doing so.

Growing up in an environment with a mother who was a strong, independent woman after her divorce with a daughter and having to fight in an actual war that may or may not have lead to her sleep apnea and a dad who supported my mom from a different state while she was pregnant, I never saw there being that big an issue with the equality of men and women.

Now, I will say the unequal pay issue does get under my skin; however, the thing about equal pay and equal rights, is that women have to put in as much work and as much effort in their workplace as their male co-workers. Like I said, my mom worked while she was pregnant, thus getting the pay she deserved for the work she put in and her female co-worker who took  her maternity leave and got mad for the work she didn't do went to her male co-worker. I can only imagine how she'd feel about it if the co-worker was a fellow woman.

This brings up my issue with the modern day feminist. Back in the day during the early growth of feminism, the issue was about equality. Now a days, it seems that "equality" is being replaced by "superiority". Here's an example of what I mean, I have more guy friends than girl friends, and most my guy friends are huge gentlemen, always wanting to support and keep us women's spirits up, meaning they enjoy paying for their food and opening doors for them. One such friend was sweet enough to open a door for a complete stranger who happened to be an older woman. Instead of thanking him for his kindness, with no real care that she was a woman, she went off on him and told him that just because she was a woman didn't mean he had the right to treat her like some delicate flower. He was, rightfully so, very confused and a tad hurt. I, Original Fox, a woman, upon hearing this story, called her a "bitch". Here's the thing ladies, people who are nice and do things out of the kindness of their hearts do it because their cool people, they're not doing it to make fun of our physical differences.

With that said, my conclusion to the feminist movement is that I believe in equality, equality meaning we are all treated, act, and do things as equal beings, not one being above the other. I don't care who you are, what you identify by, what your background is, how you handle a situation as a person, or what issues you're dealing with, if you put in the time, effort, strengths, and fight to do what you think you deserve without blaming a certain group: men, women, religion, politics, whatever, I'm rooting for you. Don't listen to the racists, sexists, and closed minded people who want to bring your personal views down and prove to them without putting yourself at the top of the advocate pillar and saying you deserve better without even proving it.

Now, on with the review of Hazbin Hotel.

For those who don't know, Hazbin Hotel is a pilot two years in the making created by YouTube Animator Vivziepop or Vivienne Medrano, who is best known for her Die Young music video by Kesha using her Zoophobia werewolf character Jay Jay. The story centers around Charlie Magne, the princess of Hell, and her hopes to open a hotel for rehabilitating demons and sinners. This plan contrasts with that of the yearly "cleansing" where non-angelic looking angels come and slaughter the inhabitants of Hell to make room for more sinners. Wanting to find a less violent way of hindering this overpopulation, Charlie, along with her manager/girlfriend, Vaggie, and their first client, porn star, Angel Dust, must prove their cause will work in order to keep the Happy Hotel running.

When I heard of this, I was excited and had high hopes. I had been a fan of Vivziepop's work for a long while, enjoying her animations and loving her now on hiatus, Zoophobia webcomic, and when I heard a project she had a huge passion for was going to air a pilot with the help a whole production team, voice actors, and some genuine talent, I was at the edge of my seat and had anticipated the pilot being aired. Does it live up to all the hype? Let's find out!

Well, off the bat, I wasn't all too crazy about the opening. I had been, admittedly, overly excited for the pilot and was expecting something... Different. The opening is your basic musical opening where the main character sings while images of what the world is like moves about around them, which wouldn't be so bad, if the musical number was original. The opening song "I'm Always Chasing Rainbows" was written by Joseph McCarthy and was first performed by Dolly Sisters in the musical Oh, Look! When I found this out, I was a little disappointed. I was probably expecting way too much from this pilot, but at the very least, I was expecting a more original musical number written by the team Vivziepop worked with in bringing this pilot to life. But that's probably just a nit-pick on my part, like I said, I was expecting a little too much from these people.

After the opening, we're immediately introduced to everyone's favorite, slutty spider, Angel Dust and his sassy attitude toward people who want to slut shame him. What follows is what I can only describe as being a story on crack. Everything is shown to us super fast with little time to breathe and explore the setting we are in, which I can understand with Sir Pentious and maybe Cherri Bomb, but with just getting out of the musical number of Charlie singing about how her world isn't the way she wants it to be and being introduced to Angel through a "don't slut shame, because it's their body and no one else's", it just seems like everything happens way to fast and everything is thrown at us without really letting us appreciate what we're looking at, the news scene being no better as they zip through the report of the fight going on and the introduction of Charlie and her "passion project". Again, that may be a little nit-picky as I did have higher expectations.

It's here that I also would have liked to know what the two little demons that help Charlie with her second musical number were and what role they play in her life. I mean, they must be either her mom or dad's henchmen or "help" wherever Charlie's used to live, but I would have preferred they played a bigger role than just singing and playing their instruments.

The third issue I have at this point is the use of sound effects. Again, a little nit-picky, BUT, I feel the use of sound effects with every movement and moment a character is on screen is a little too much. It doesn't help that the soundtrack never shuts up. Music or a sound is always playing, never allowing for us to take in what the character is saying on a more complex or understanding level. The only parts that are quiet are the limo scene and the Charlie calling her mom scene, which are honestly two of my three favorite parts because we get to see and meet these characters, understanding them and their personalities, as well the relationships they have with each other. Except maybe Charlie and Vaggie's, but I'll get to that later.

I enjoy the relationship Charlie does have with Katie Killjoy (in fact I enjoy Katie's relationship with Tom as well), the only critique I have here is Katie's "I don't touch the gays. I have standards." This just seems to be an add-on to make us despise Katie as a character, because of her views on the gay community, basically saying homophobia is a bad trait of a person and makes a character more of a villain, which I've known homophobes. They're not evil, they've just been raised in an environment where being gay isn't the norm and, in a strict background, "the gays" is a mental illness that can be easily taken care of through the proper therapy. As for Katie's "standards", again, this doesn't mean she's a terrible character. In fact, look at it like this, it's an adult cartoon and the jokes are meant to make you laugh, not judge a certain group in a cold and harsh way.

However, Charlie's relationship with the people of Hell as their princess and heir to the throne, I find a little off pudding. I'm sure there's some kind of hidden meaning to how the royal family is treated as celebrities over that of rulers of a certain area, but for now, I'm just gonna nit-pick a little more. My opinion on princesses in the media is at a bit of an all time low. Ever since the birth of the Disney Princess Trope, the views of a princess in any form in the media has been to hate being a princess, sing about how much it sucks to be a princess, remain princess when it's obvious they're no longer a princess and should take the title of Queen. Charlie is sadly part of this trope, the only good part of this being that no one but her girlfriend takes pity on her. What I mean by this is that Charlie shows signs that her father has high expectations of her becoming the heir to Hell and taking rule in his place as the future queen, making her status something to sing about how much that sucks, of course her dreams contrast with that of her father's expectations, like most Disney Princesses. That being said, I'm not exactly sure I see the purpose of her being the princess of Hell when no one treats her as one nor do they seem to care that Lucifer is her father, other than to make her relationship with her father strained, which isn't bad don't get me wrong, but there are other ways to work that subplot in without adding the title of princess to her name.

After the whole fight scene, we get the scene where Vaggie goes off on Angel for making the hotel look like a joke. This coincides with my issue with the whole feminist aspect and her and Charlie's relationship, so I'll get to that later. But I like this part because of the quiet moment we get, so there we go for whatever that was.

When the trio gets home, I do like how we see a subtle hint to the fact that Angel does want to reform and go to Heaven and escape his abusive sugar daddy by how he makes a crack at the lack of food to feed all of the non-existent souls and immediately feels bad. Of course, you can't force change on someone in the blink of an eye, so I give him a pat on the shoulder for not knowing how to apologize for his assholiness.

This then leads us to the calling mom scene where we see Charlie struggling to prove her father wrong and asking her mom for advice for feeling this way. From what I can assume either her folks are divorced, her father is dead and Lilith is in charge of Hell, or Lucifer left that part of his family to marry Narissa from Zoophobia and had Damian. I mean in the opening we see a shadow of Lucifer taking the shape of Zoophobia's version of the Devil, so that's my fan theory and I'm sticking to it! And before people say that's impossible, if that's the case, then Charlies is no longer the heir to the throne, but here's my response to that: Charlie was born first and is the daughter of Lilith, who I'm not gonna get into, because this isn't part of the review, therefore making her take the throne before Damian by political standards. Anyway, this scene was fine, I wish there was more info on exactly what her relationship is with both her parents, seeing as they never make a real appearance in the pilot to show their personalities, but I'd also like it if there was a main character whose relationship with their parents isn't severed because of the character's dreams, a strict family, or dead.

And then HE comes into the picture. THE one character I lost my mind over. Alastor, the Radio Demon!!! I LOVE this character! While I'm sure most fans find Angel to be their favorite character and don't get me wrong Angel is awesome, Alastor is what has me hooked to the show. To compare him to Charlie, Vaggie, or Angel, Alastor, in my opinion, is an optimistic pessimist, something I find myself as being on a daily basis as I too find good entertainment in the destruction of others as they fall into the fiery pits of failure. Not only that, but each moment he's on screen there's this mysterious vibe about him with his permanent smile and his end goal in helping Charlie, something I find rather attractive of my demon... I mean... Men. His interactions with the other characters is fun, he's got a classy excitement to him, wanting to provide and receive entertainment in the most morbid and old times of places. His version of "Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow" is a hilarious change to Charlie's cheery, uplifting view of her people, his version being a look at the souls in Hell as lost causes, their punishments being eternal, there being no escape except for the life they've lived before and the agony they have to face now is bliss. His take down of Sir Pentious was like a huge "bitch please" which was absolutely wonderful, from his power to his facial expression in the end.

With that said, is this pilot flawless...? No, absolutely not, far from it. There's some things, like the soundtrack, the opening song, and the sound effects I'd think about doubling down on and allow us to take in the world we're being introduced in to. If someone came into this show completely blind, they'd probably be a tad confused as to what's happening and why. Fans already know Charlie is an overly optimistic demon spawn, Vaggie is a pessimistic feminist with no care for men, Angel Dust is a cross-dressing spider who enjoys being the "bad boy", and Alastor is a deer with a need for endless entertainment. People who don't know VivziePop and her work, won't know/care much about these characters going straight in and will most likely like to explore the world and its why.

And now, the coup-de-gras: my one issue with this pilot and what it seems to be shoving down pessimistic people like me's throat. Women rule and straight men suck. Do NOT quote me on this. I do not know Vivienne or the people she worked with to make this pilot. This is MY opinion after having watching the pilot, listening, reading, and following the creation of this show from the beginning. They can correct me on this in future episodes or deeper dives in to characters and development.

So, off the bat, we're introduced to a male gay character who dresses like a woman and is slut shamed by everyone except his friends who have similar views as he does. In my opinion, this doesn't work for me. I get wanting to "represent the minority"; however, the depiction of straight, heterosexual characters slut shaming or having sexual encounter/feelings toward said character with cruel intentions to bring someone down isn't something I see as a good representation. Granted, there are several people out there who will make a person feel like shit for having views that do not conform to what society deems as normal, but in today's world, where media and the children of today are exposed to these views, the "minority" becomes the majority. I get it, life sucks, oh darn, well then fight for equality, don't fight to make straight cisgender community seen as the closed minded community that doesn't give a damn. There are plenty of cisgender heterosexuals who support the LGBTQ+ community and have no problem with anyone who doesn't fit the old views of the world. It just seems, from what I've experienced, that if you're a straight, cisgender human being that has no real tie to the Pride Movement, you're a homophobic monster who takes the side of all the haters. That's not true, we just aren't playing for the same teams nor do we believe we were born in the wrong body.

Next is Charlie and Vaggie's relationship. Don't get me wrong, having a gay lead is no skin off my nose, if anything, I don't give a damn what their attracted to. If their a good character and have good development and don't let their sexual identity get in the way of their goals, I'm good. But when it comes to Vaggie and Charlie, there's just something I personally find "off". For one, VivziePop actually brought this up in a Tumblr post in response to another about how they didn't like the idea of Charlie and Vaggie being a canon couple because it'd just be another way of representing the gay community through the media's abuse of showing how open minded they are, to this VivziePop revealed that Vaggie and Charlie are indeed a couple, but she'd rather not focus on their relationship and instead focus on the story. But upon the pilot's release, their relationship is already put a slight focus on from Katie's "I don't touch the gays" afterwards touching Charlie who Vivzie revealed may be a Bisexual characters having dating a male character in the past and to the overly cutesy peppy girl and her overly protective, pessimistic girlfriend. I honestly don't care about whatever relationship these two have, so long as it doesn't effect the plot in a negative way, one example being that they fight, break up, and get back together through some TV show bullshit that has little to do with the rest of the show's running. This show is about getting demons into Heaven, it's not an after school soap opera.

This brings me to Vaggie's character as a whole and to her views affecting that of the central tone of the show itself. Vaggie is clearly a feminist, this being brought up when Angel reminds her that she doesn't seem to trust any man, any men... Men. She punches a guy who calls her girl a bitch, gets angry at Angel only when Charlie screwed up too by both singing and getting in a fight with Katie when Vaggie specifically told her not to sing as what they were doing was serious, refuses to trust Alastor without allowing him a second chance, something she is helping Charlie to achieve and support despite Charlie herself being open to helping Alastor understand where she's coming from, and calls the hotel a "man cave" just because Husk gets a bar in order to keep him working at the hotel. I get it, alcohol is somehow a sin to the hotel, most likely because it can lead to drunkenness or sloth and gluttony, but that doesn't make it a brothel or a man cave. In fact, she doesn't seem to argue having Nifty, a female character as part of the staff as she just zips around cleaning, but here's the thing about Nifty: it's clear she's straight and how they portray how straight she is contrasts with the other female main characters. Nifty is boy crazy and a clean freak, being confused as to why the hotel is such a dump when everyone living there is ladies, not knowing Angel on a personal level yet and wonders where all the men are. This to me, is a stereotypical straight cisgender female: wanting to clean, make new friends, and meet some men. Being a cisgender, straight, female myself, I can tell you, that's not who I and I hope some other girls are. I've never been much of a clean freak or boy crazy, in fact I'm a bit of a slob and don't really give two shits about men; I've honestly got more important things to concern myself with than over getting a boyfriend. Nifty is a fun character and I enjoy her place in the show, but I would have liked it if Vaggie immediately wanted her out of the hotel as she did with Husk and Alastor, showing some God damned equality as a feminist and if Nifty was a little less concerned about gender roles and having men around. Depicting feminism is fine in media, but don't go overboard with it. Make some straight, cisgender males actually great people who support the ideals of women and don't want to see them fail, show the equality we as women fought so hard to achieve, by making the roles of men and women equal, not one gender being better than the other morally. Alastor is a great character, but he did slap Vaggie's ass, which was unneeded, but I'll admit I found that hilarious. I can only hope Alastor is only fucking with Vaggie and her views on men and turns to a pretty awesome guy who, while not believing in her cause, supports Charlie anyway he can.

All in all, I loved this pilot and see great things coming its way, I just think things could be tweaked and lessened down to be less of a huge middle finger to certain groups of people and less of an Ed, Edd, and Eddy soundtrack of unnecessary sound effects. I'd recommend this pilot to anyone with a passion for animation and wanting to put something you've worked years for to give them that jolt of ambition. If you're bothered by too many loud moments, less quiet moments, too many jabs at the heterosexual cisgender community, and lots and lots of sex jokes, this probably isn't for you. Check it out on YouTube and give it a try.

P.S. to those of the religious community, me being part of it, if the version of this Hell is off pudding and isn't how it should be depicted in comparison to that of the biblical version and it offends you, I suggest either ignoring the pilot completely and its growth, or you can see the horrifying reality behind it... It's... An... Adult... Cartoon!!! *collective gasps* for more information please check Family Guy, South Park, and, I know I'm dating myself here, but literally every episode of the Simpsons ever.

I hope I didn't offend anyone with this rant/review. These are just my personal views and should be taken with a grain of salt.

Eat chocolate.

Imma take a nap!

[prussiasboxerbriefs]

me yelling about angel dust and why he’s not a bad character

regarding angel: with gay rep we get either child predator from the homophobic stereotype corner of the ring or soft uwu gay boy from the tumblr corner. I cannot even BEGIN to tell you how fucking refreshing it is to see a gay guy that’s not “soft” but still framed as a desirable, cool protagonist.

@/the-spider-in-the-kinky-boots made a post about this–it’s so so so nice to see him being open about his sexuality in an environment that LETS him.

with regards to him being predatory: i have only seen the pilot and a few animatics. what I’ve gathered from those is that he’s just kind of a smart-ass and likes making sex jokes? he lives in hell. they ALL live in hell. in real life that would fall under like consent problems and would be really annoying. but they live in hell so i feel like that’s a non-issue. also his fight scene with sir pentious made me laugh

he feels like a vent character, and I think that’s why a lot of people either connect strongly with him or think he’s a fucked-up caricature. one of the main themes of this show is extremes. to me he comes across as the extreme of that feeling where you believe your queerness makes you bad and say, “fuck it, guess i’ll just be bad then.” if you’ve been told your whole life that an inherent, harmless part of you makes you a demon, one coping strategy is to go be evil because at least you’re happy? but that only works for so long. and I think that’s where his signing into the hotel and “rehab” comes in–him realizing that his queerness isn’t a sin and that he can live a happy life without trying to suppress that part of him OR coping in extremely destructive ways.

also, watching a character live out the “fantasy” of self-medication is a way of living vicariously through them, and it makes the urge to do it in real life, at least for me, lessen for a while. 

he is queer and some people give him a hard time about it and he has the license to go absolutely apeshit with no consequences. talk about living vicariously

which leads me into power structures: he’s powerful. he’s in control (not with regards to Valentino, but ex. during the turf war). he does bad things and doesn’t receive punishment because the show’s creators aren’t looking for an excuse to punch the gay guy. how many shows have a queer character do something terrible just so they can beat the shit out of them and then say they deserved it?

did you guys catch when alastor referred to him as “effeminate” because it was an objective assessment and not something he saw as disgusting…did you catch that……..that got me

like what do i want MORE. than to be referred to as an “effeminate fellow” in a non-sarcastic, goodwilled manner. i can’t think of anything.

the VALIDATION

in general, a lot of people seem to be bothered by the blatant sexuality and innuendo in hazbin hotel? i’m pretty sure a key part of this project is that the creators get to be lewd, because it’s fun, through their preferred medium (which is either used exclusively for children’s media or stylized to be butt-ugly). if the sexuality in the show bothers you, then don’t watch it–it’s certainly not intended for young audiences, and, like my friend said when i was talking to them about this–not everything has to be baby proof!!!

that said! the characters here and their “sins” are obviously based on a conservative idea of what gets you sent to Christian hell. and I wonder if the implication that sex work or suffering from addiction are sinful and immoral is going to be challenged.

the other thing is that the story isn’t done. we haven’t seen any of the character’s redemption arcs, and that means most of the show’s meaning and stance on the questions it raises hasn’t been defined yet. a story where every character is unproblematic from the very beginning is not a particularly compelling story because there’s nowhere left for them to go except down in terms of character development (which is absolutely crucial). and y'all wouldn’t like THAT direction either bc then the canonically gay character gets a sad ending. I don’t want that either. but if you want a character that represents you, they’re gonna have to develop throughout the plot somehow, otherwise there is no story to tell.

another reason why I like angel is that he has many of the problems/anxieties that bother me, and I want to see him overcome them. that’s representation.

so. sir pentious.

his egg henchmen are so dumb i love them

also love that angel’s humor bounces directly off of him. there’s probably some like mockery of autistic traits hiding in there or whatever but i’m autistic and i don’t want to think about it too much bc he’s funny and i love him

great character design!!! his hair/cape thing is so cool (yes i know it’s like the hood of a snake)

why “serpentious”. that’s not a real word why not “sir pentine” or something

felt like an idiot spelling “surpentious” five different ways in the merriam-webster search bar before realizing the first part of his name is “serpent” and the last part is random adjectival suffix

[ladynoirisback]

Hazbin hotel: Questions Part 2

- How did Angel Dust learn everything from cherri if he's been there for many decades and she looks, dresses and acts like a teen from the 21st century. Wouldn't their roles be reversed?

- If Vaggie is a lesbian then why was she an escort?

- Does Charlie know any demons that have actually been redeemed?

- Does Angel Dust genuinely have a crush on Husk?

- Can an woman who died very old have a baby in this afterlife?

- Are the egg bois henchmen actually the spawn of sir pentious?

- Why was Niffty next to Alastor and Husk in "A cautionary tale" was she a henchwoman?

- What kind of perks being the princess bring Charlie?

- What is the minimum requirement to end up there?

- Do a lot of the demons freak out on their first day in this afterlife?

- Husk is a cat demon so why does he have wings?

- Besides Angel Dust do any of the other main characters have any siblings?

- What kind of currency do they have there?

- Is there any plot ideas for episodes after the pilot?

- Did every denizen there die a not-so-pleasant way 

- Can you describe what other cities are like it are they all the same in this world?

- Can you tell us any hobbies Sir pentious has outside taking over territory or inventing

- Do the people there go to places relative to where they lived before or do all people from all over the world end up i inn the same place? Wouldn't that be a major language barrier to new people there?

- Since Husk was in the vietnam war, Angel was in the mob and Alastor a serial killer did they meet any of their victims after their own deaths

- Which one is Razzle and Dazzle?

- Will Charlie become queen or stay a princess forever

- Why do Katie Killjoy's pupils keep disappearing is that for a reason?

- If Tom died in the 1910s why is he a news anchor? I mean tv wasn't invented yet. Is his punishment being close to Katie Killjoy all the time

- Where was Vaggie when Katie threatened to 'bury' Charlie?

- Besides the news and a cannibal cooking show what other tv shows can the denizens watch?

- What happened to the tooth Angel had before he got a gold one

- There's a blurry photo in "Let's misbehave" with Charlie in a pink dress and her horns out  but who is that guy in the picture with her an ex-boyfriend?

- Why doesn't Husk wear pants i mean wouldn't his *stuff* be out in open?

- What does the royal family do? 

- What is Angel's motivation to becoming a better person?

- Will there be an Angel from heaven character that the characters will interact with?

- Can these demons be summoned by humans on earth?

- Can you name some more people from history who are definitely living in this world? I

- What are those little crazy demons by Alastor's feet in "A cautionary tale" :29

- What is Vaggie's favorite weapon?

- What does the royal castle or home look like?

- Why does Angel Dust need quick cash grab if he's a famous adult film star wouldn't he be rich?

- Since its "Till death do we part" does that mean your single again when you die?

- How did Molly die?

- Are demon babies any different from human babies?

- Does public decency even exist once you enter this place? 

- Does Charlie spend a lot of time with her demon people or did she live a sheltered life?

- Does disease or any kind of illness still exist here?

- Can you give us examples of previous plans Sir Pentious had but have failed

- Why did Charlie's family have a hotel and then abandon it?

[artsyld]

The Snake, The Bombs, and the Mongoose

A Hazbin Hotel story, about Sir Pentious, his Egg Bois, and the night they met @modtime‘s OC, Roxane. 

   It was the same monotonous cycle, year in and year out.    Faceless exterminators, tall, lean, and mechanically deadly, would take out a few denizens or so once a year, regardless of what they were doing. It seemed like with each passing purge, more are attacked and lose whatever little they had left, after crossing over from Earth to the hellish world they'd been sent to. Sir Pentious knew it all too well.     He recalled a time when extermination wasn't even a thought. Sure, an unlucky soul would be destroyed every now and then, but that, he recalled, was often fueled by carelessness, not by social motives. With the coming of the twenty-first century however came an apparent lack of morality, faith, and forgiveness on Earth (at least, that's what some of the newer denizens would propose), and now the bleak, red world that the black and gold cobra was stuck in just felt overcrowded. Overflowing with humanoids and talking creatures alike, who never atoned and made amends for their past mistakes, the world around Sir Pentious grew increasingly uncivilized, chaotic, and, in his opinion, unintelligent.  Sir Pentious wouldn't allow it; not in this bloody dimension where destruction seemed to be the top priority in everyone's minds. If only it could learn from him. After all, the snake was a brilliant inventor, acclaimed and respected during his career on Earth. In the world he longed for again, gentlemen held doors open for ladies, and many were not inclined to be so destructive and reckless in good company. No one seemed to think much of these qualities the way Sir Pentious did. Even some of those who'd passed on from within his time period had given up a long time ago to try and maintain that sense of discipline that had been instilled in him since childhood. But the snake simply wouldn't. As long as his long slithering body was shaking, as long as the eyes on his tail and the blinking one on his hat still moved and pondered like he did, no matter what their prideful "Leader", his current Queen Lucine, or anyone else thought, he would no longer sit idly by, while his former world, basking in its title as being what he'd describe as "a beacon of civilization and culture," would completely disappear.  This very thinking led Sir Pentious down his road of villainy, a path as long and as winding as his serpentine tail. He knew it would be tricky; the very idea of trying to take over a city-a kingdom, in fact- was no easy task, but to take over one of this scale? It would be an experience for sure; perhaps an enjoyable one? On the night he had resolved to make these choices, the clever creature couldn't help but grin. He could only imagine what the heavenly hosts would think. Nevertheless, he would follow through with his claims. If he was going to be stuck here in a place he found quite awful, he was going to make it fit his standards.  He knew better than to try it alone. Even some of the most ambitious fellows he'd ever read up on, Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan, Brutus of Rome; even fictional men, like King Claudius and Fagin the old pickpocket, had others, With that in his mind, it wasn't long before he found his own others in the form of the Egg Bois, a collection of talking eggs, who came to appreciate Sir Pentious. The broken cracks of their shells served as their eyes and mouths, and they too pulled off dark gray suits lined with long gold stripes like the cobra they now followed. They even matched their small golden eyes, full of enthusiasm and contentment, at being considered useful by someone at last.  Over the decades, Sir Pentious and the Egg Bois would conjure up very complex schemes to try and dismantle their monarch. Some schemes involved infiltrating a recently approved organization; for others, their approach included the growing influence of Pentious's side businesses. Though the growing population was helping his businesses grow in profit, the overwhelming crowds and cacophony did nothing to soothe the cobra. And apparently not even the one who first thought of those inconvenient killers. Though his small gang never did get far anyway, Sir Pentious was ambitious and incredibly determined. Even when the destructive exterminators came along to take the lives of their fellow citizens, Sir Pentious kept his focus; even when territorial genocide became a factor in this fallen kingdom he wanted. Especially when he was truthfully inconvenienced by the conception and birth of Lucine's daughter, Charlie, he wouldn't give in.        Over this period of time however, the more Sir Pentious and the Egg Bois failed, the more he began to feel that sense of lacking; as if somehow, having henchmen, his engineer's mind, and his never ending desire for power, were no longer enough. One day, as he silently watched his fellow citizens from his red, dark gray, and golden home, quietly noticing a recently deceased goth with big silver hair, ranting at what appeared to be a pink and cream colored spider creature with a smirk on his face, he suddenly considered something he hadn't before.  Perhaps the reason why he frequently failed to mold this cacophonous dimension to his liking was due to a lack of a co-conspirator. Someone he can exchange ideas with and show off his skills to. He looked over at the Egg Bois, seeing them pop open bottles of champagne after a long day of working. Sir Pentious frowned and quietly scoffed at them. They were suitable henchmen, he supposed, but certainly not partner material. He needed a quick-witted someone.    Or it could be that he was just overthinking things; most likely. For now though, he walked off from the scene, putting his thoughts away for awhile. "Bois, gather around!" he exclaimed, beckoning the Bois from all over their meeting room. It was a tall, glistening place with shining gold and pink windows, mismatched by deep grey walls. Each of the bois crowded near a red monitor perched on a pedestal, paired with two levers.   "Out of the way-out of the way," he said, as he pulled on the levers. "Tonight, the Captain of the Guard of our fearless 'leader' is visiting the Purge Messengers," he explained, pointing as a map of the Inferno appeared. He pointed to a small rectangle on the map, on completely opposite ends where the Royal Family's castle sat. "We've managed to find out that the Captain will be carrying the procedures for the purge commencing next week. Now, if we can drug or distract the Captain-or blow him up if possible- and get ahold of those plans, we can present ourselves to the population, and present this year's escape routes and how-to's! For a price of course; I could be the one to settle the chaos this year and keep people in one piece. People like to be looked after, you know. Everyone will look to me for guidance! More guidance, means more respect, which means more being 'hip', as some people say! And being 'hip', means more influence. And where does influence lead? Power! And with that power can quickly lead to-"     "Domination?" an Egg Bois asked. There was a sudden silence, as Sir Pentious practically stared him down with an annoyed scowl. The boi that spoke sank back down into his stance, and pointed his head down.   

 "DOMINATION!!" Sir Pentious replied, instantly rising his voice.  "YEAH!!!" the Egg Bois all cheered and clapped. The mouthy fumbled with his hands.  "Brilliant, Sir Pentious!"  "No one will stand a chance!"  The blinking hat on his head grinned as the serpent did. This, in particular, was a moment he looked forward to each day; his collection of minions appreciating him as the knowing eyes on his tail, clothes, and cobra hood looking at his face. It was a comforting thing; temporary, but comforting all the same.   ...

 The blood red sky loomed over Roxane, as she maneuvered from street lamp to street lamp, carrying a leather purse over her shoulders. She wanted to rub her back from the ache of a newly stitched patch of skin on her lower back, where her tail used to be. Regardless of the pain, the mongoose used her keen sense of smell to sense any followers; any who might've seen her swipe some loot just after her operation. Thankfully, there were none. Now that she was far away from the scenes of her crimes, she decided to simply walk down the sidewalk and try to relax. Walking near various creatures of different types, her head pointed towards a collection of televisions behind a window, all featuring a blonde haired demon with a smile too wide to be comforting.   "And finally, the Annual Purge is just five days away. I'd say 'hope and pray you don't die', but let's face it. We're already dead!" she announced with an oddly cheerful tone. "And as usual, we'll be presenting live coverage of the event, from our studio of course! I'm Katie Killjoy, for the 6 o'clock news," Roxane wrinkled her little black nose, more out of distaste. Leave it to crazy Killjoy and her coworkers to sit tight in their studio while the rest of their dimension had to run and hide.  "Ah, who am I kidding?" she thought to herself. "They've done it since the start of these stupid purges. Why change now?" After a quick growl of her stomach, she hurried past the televisions and down the street, holding her bag close, without trying look too suspicious. Warning posters, and demons indulging in various vices, from lust to wrath to gluttony, lined the sidewalks, and clumped themselves under streetlights, either ignoring her entirely or looking at her either with mean spirited ridicule or judgement. No matter, she always thought. She lightly stepped across the street and mumbled an 'excuse me', as she slipped by people. Most didn't bother with a response or even the turn of the head. She didn't care much these days. She hadn't known an entirely pleasant face since before the end of her life on Earth. Granted, she couldn't have expected anything better; not in this place. She pulled her hat a little further down onto her head, and glanced over her shoulder one last time, just to be safe.   Roxane only sped up her walk once she left the busy epicenter of downtown. As she pulled her large cap over her head, suburbs gradually took their places as she grew closer to her apartment complex. She happened upon a three story apartment building, dirty and sad looking, on the other end of suburbs, where the houses and strip centers sat near open fields and one solitary skyscraper, a secondary meeting place for employees of the Royal Family, Roxane had once been told.   The building was also littered with demons, partaking in smoking, drinking, screaming at each other, and throwing a punch or two. The latter of which took place just by her usual flight of stairs to get to her own little apartment. She rolled her eyes, but before she could use the flight of stairs on the other end of the building, she noticed something she found particularly odd.  A collection of talking ovals scurried from street corner to corner, whispering among each other as they crossed the streets. Roxane, tired as she was, could've sworn they were...no they couldn't be. She slipped behind the building and watched them giggle at each other about a joke she didn't quite catch.   They certainly did look like eggs, but surely they couldn't be...scrambled eggs sounded really nice right about now, she thought. She sank to her arms and knees and hid behind large, fallen debris, in hopes of getting a better look at them. Just as she suspected, they were four Egg Bois, with broken cracks for their mouths and eye sockets. The bois stopped at a corner a little close by the skyscraper, giving Roxane the chance she needed to get close enough to verify what these creatures were.    "There's just one thing I don't understand?" the first one asked, albeit grouchily.  "What's that, Curtis?" another, Martin, asked, sounding tired. Roxane watched them from behind and smirked a little. The more she looked at these eggs, however animate, the more she felt her hunger spike. Nasty little thoughts entered her head.   "Why exactly would the Big Man Downstairs get a random skyscraper built all the way out here in the trashy suburbs? Isn't he just begging for trouble?"  "Have you seen the demons around here?" another asked, trying to stay focused on looking out. "They're too busy smoking and drinking with their pals. No sensible crook from Downtown would bother doing business with a lazy gaggle of bums. Though I doubt they're worse than that Angel Dust-"  "Oh yeah, I can't stand that guy!" Curtis cried. "If that arachno-jerk ever shows up again, I oughta cave his head in! I'd go 'wham!'-" he cried, throwing a punch. "And a 'kerpow!'-, and a-ugh!"  There was a sudden quiet.   "...finally he shuts up," Martin whispered.       "Bois-" Sir Pentious whispered, as he appeared from the shadows and beckoned them. "Hello, Boss!" the third of them, Samuel, replied.   "How many times do I have to tell you bois, that you have to be quiet? Especially on these jobs?" he asked strictly. The eye on his hat practically glared at the trio. "Wait a minute..." Sir Pentious did a head count. "One, two, th-...are we missing someone?" The Eggs Bois looked around them. "Where's Curtis?" the fourth of them, Frederick, asked.  "Excellent question," Sir Pentious grumbled. "...well, it could still work with two...Frederick!"     "Boss?"   "Go find Curtis! I don't want anyone seeing him and getting suspicious," he ordered.     "Yes, sir!" Frederick replied before speeding away.  Sir Pentious hid the remaining bois, including himself, at the sound of footsteps, clacking on the pavement. Slipping towards the side of the skyscraper, Sir Pentious and Samuel peeked over the corner and found a well dressed demons wearing many medals approaching the sliding doors of the skyscraper, looking very smug. He was a very handsome gentleman, very humanoid in appearance, with long flowing dark hair. His eyes were a flaming red, and around his chest was a satchel; one that Sir Pentious stared at intently. "There he is, bois. Captain Mermeoth, one of the original Fallen Angels from before the Creation of Man. They say he was there the moment the Princess's father first proposed his rebellion."  "He looks awfully impressive, Boss," Samuel replied.  "Yes, but not for long," Sir Pentious told him with a grin.  "Get ready to distract him."    "Yes, sir!" Martin agreed.  "And Samuel, take your place on the other side of the building. Wait for the moment I nod my head. Trigger the bombs, and it'll send them to his knees. Then, when he's preoccupied, grab the plans. He always keeps them in that satchel of his. You boys ready?"  "Right!" Samuel replied.     Martin was silent.       "Martin?" Sir Pentious looked behind him and Samuel. The hat's eye widened in shock. Samuel looked left and right. "Where did he go??" the boi asked. Sir Pentious's face was thrown left and right, and his face expressed a look of confusion, frustration, and maybe even a little worry.     "What is going on here?!" he demanded.     "HELP!! HELP!!!!"     "That sounds like Martin!" Samuel cried. Sir Pentious hummed in suspicion. His hat glared a cold dagger. ...     "HELP-HELP-HELP!!"   "Shut up, dude, huh?" Roxane snapped. Wrapped up in her arms were three squirming egg bois, kicking their feet and struggling. Using her paws as well as she could, she gathered a collection of trash and a pan, and attempted to start a fire on the opposite side of the street parallel to the skyscraper. Hiding in an alleyway, she kept her eyes open and alert, should any particular cobras show up. "Shh-shh, sorry, fellas, nothing personal. I'm a mongoose, you're some eggs, and I'm starving. Don't be so sore about it."  "NO, YOU CRAZY BROAD! LET. US. GO!" Curtis cried.  "WAAAHHH I WANT SIR PENTIOUS!" Martin wailed. Roxane rolled her eyes as she tried to light up a match and make a fire. When the matchstick was lit, she flung it into the trash and watched the flame flare up. "There we go! Now, bois, try to relax. This will only take a-OW!"   Roxane felt a clawed hand grasp her bare shoulder and turn her around. Sir Pentious clutched her skin with a terrible glare on his face and hat. 

 "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING??!!" Roxane jumped, causing the bois to fall from her arms.   "HOORAY! The Boss has come to save us!" Curtis cheered.  "YAHOOOO!" the other bois cried. They crowded around Sir Pentious and beamed at him. "We love you, Sir Pentious!"     "Yes, yes, yes-" he said, putting them all behind him. Roxane couldn't help but smirk as she pushed herself away from him.   "Aw, the big bad Egg Dad protecting his sons." The cobra's muscles tensed up at such a response.   "Sons?! Who do you think you are, snatching my henchmen, young woman?" Roxane frowned at him. "Well, that can happen, when you're wandering around Hell, stuffed full of mischievous demons." Her smile was bold, and filled with sharp pearly whites. Sir Pentious curled his fingers in, taken aback a little by her courage. The mongoose seemed pleased at her apparently unexpected sass.  "That may be, my dear, but you don't just simply steal a man's minions, Hell or no Hell," he snarled. Roxane squared her shoulders a little, in preparation for a fight.   "Well, I-" She pushed away her bag, causing it to tip over. Sir Pentious briefly noticed some of the items inside; two brown and black wallets, a bag of chips, a crowbar, and a debit card with a masculine name etched in it. "Perhaps, this isn't your first theft, is it, my mongoose?" he asked, with an arched eyebrow. Roxane tied her hair up just in case.   "You clever cobra, you," she replied, not frowning for a second. "Thanks," he replied arrogantly. His tail nudged Curtis to snatch her bag. "Hey!!" she exclaimed as Sir Pentious took the bag and looked through it with an evil smirk on his face. "I can't stay long, but I'm interested in your repertoire. Let me see," he opened up the wallets and found ID cards that clearly didn't match her face. "Two hundred Hell Credits, a crowbar-useful for thefts, I will admit-a bag of salt and oil, and...Garrett Kane," he grinned at her, upon reading the payment card. "You don't look like a Garrett Kane."  

  Roxane lunged for the bag, before Sir Pentious slipped out of the way, tripping her with his tail. His hat beamed with malicious pleasure before Roxane grabbed on his arm and tugged him to the ground. The Egg Bois huddled together, gasping and worried. The mongoose pinned him to the ground, giggling with mild ridicule. "You know that the mongoose is your natural enemy, right?" She clenched her fist up and sent it sailing down towards his face. However, the serpent grabbed it, as his hat fell off and rolled away from him. His mouth and eyes widened with a deafening hiss, as he sat up, jerking her back. He pinned her to the wall, holding her by her wrists.  "The Laws of the Earth don't apply in Hell, my dear."  Roxane's chest heaved up and down as she briefly analyzed her situation. His clawed fingers pressed down on her skin, but strangely enough, not too deep that it drew blood. Looking at him and all of his eyes falling on her, she felt wouldn't break, not in front of this slithering creature. "I'll give you that," she breathed, still smirking. "Sir Pentious...right?"  The snake was silent, not expecting her to utter his name.     "You're in one of those gangs that are always fighting for terf. I saw you throw a grenade at a girl once. Tall woman, long blonde ponytail, one red eye?"   "You know Cherri?" he hissed distastefully.   "I know of Cherri, and her buddy, Angel Dust," she explained. She noticed the scowl on his face, his grip staying as tight as possible. "I'm impressed. Yes, she and Angel were plotting to take my side of town for the millionth time. Can't say, I approve."    "I don't blame you. If someone were trying to steal my apartment, I wouldn't receive them well either. If you've gotta steal, you gotta be sneaky about it."  Sir Pentious hummed. "And smart about it."    "Exactly," Roxane replied. "I saw you throw it at her, the night I pickpocketed some Hell Credits from an aristocrat, one of those old school Fallen Angels from waaayyy back when."     "You stole from a Fallen Angel? How?" he asked in a low, doubtful tone. Roxane chuckled. "I'm too quick. I've been at this since 1980. I used it to buy that purse of mine; a nice deep one to hold aallll my treasures," she replied, almost flirting. She winked at him, causing another flicker of doubt in him. "I see. I wish I'd caught that Cherri even more so now. You'd have seen how great a shot I am."  "I believe you," she assured him. They stared at each other for quite awhile. The Egg Bois weren't sure what to make them both. This random mongoose girl keeping her cool and teasing the Boss, like he was a common demon. Yet, the Boss just stands there, keeping her pinned by her bare shoulders, no thanks to her loose gold colored sweater. Yet, he does nothing. No hitting, no venomous bites, not even an apparent scratch to the skin under her thin layer of fur; all there seemed to be as they teased each other were snarky smiles and subtle pink tints to their cheeks. Even his hat seemed a little confused.   “Nice hat, cobra,” she replied with a grin. Neither Sir Pentious nor the Hat seemed to expect this, but the latter was plenty flattered.    “Yours isn’t so bad itself.”   Sir Pentious began to question himself. His reluctance to retaliate or say anything more, baffled even him. For a moment, all he did was stare, before he shook his head and held out her bag with his tail.  "I think...I'm beginning to like you, Miss..."  "Roxane; now what are you doing out here anyway?" she asked in a gentle tone that surprised even her.      "And that's how I lost my dog, Scruffy!"     Roxane, Sir Pentious, and remaining Egg Bois, looked around the corner and saw Samuel trying to talk to a very impatient looking Mermeoth. Sir Pentious grinned. "Perfect! Martin, get over there and hurry to the bombs," he whispered to Martin. "Yes, sir!" Martin replied. 

 "Bombs?!" Roxane asked. Sir Pentious shushed her.    "Can I go get the satchel, Boss?" Curtis asked in a redemptive tone.  "No! You've been too careless lately. Frederick, you go get it," Sir Pentious snapped. Curtis shrugged lowly. Frederick saluted and took a ready stance.  Samuel could see Martin creep behind Mermeoth. His heart skipped a beat when the captain turned his head for just a brief moment, only for Samuel to remind him of a rabies shot this 'Scruffy' had. Martin sprinted towards the other side of the street, parallel to the right side of the skyscaper. Sir Pentious watched Martin, who made eye contact with him once he made it to a long winding wire extending from the building. Roxane saw the grin on his face as he picked up his hat and brushed it off. Roxane noticed it blink at her for a moment, before Sir Pentious gave him the signal.       One head nod was all he needed.     Huge spheres of fire and smoke exploded from the ground, causing Mermeoth to stumble and Samuel to try and reach for the demon's satchel. His lack of grace caused him to fall over. "WOAH-OOF!! I-I'VE FALLEN! HELP! I CAN'T GET UP!!! HELP!!!!" he cried. Sir Pentious groaned and was about to enter the scene before Roxane sped towards the rubble from behind him.  Sir Pentious reached his tail inside in hopes of reaching for the satchel without detection. Instead, he caught Martin. When he retracted the tip of his tail, he hovered it, allowing the egg boi to dangle.     "Phew! Gee, thanks, Boss!"     "You idiot!!! Where's the satchel? And where's that-"  Roxane staggered from the collection of fire and ash, with the Captain's satchel over her shoulder. Looking exhausted, but nonetheless determined, Sir Pentious really stared at her, shocked and perhaps even a little in awe. The flames from behind her gave her a bold, yet regal appearance as she wearily stepped towards him. Her hair flew around her thin face and the fire matched her bright, brilliant red and orange eyes. He couldn’t look away from them. 

  She was beautiful. 

  The mongoose stopped at the feeling of something behind her. Sir Pentious extended his tail at the sight of a clawed hand reaching out from behind her. Roxane lifted her fists to fight. After a hard punch to Captain Mermeoth's face (at which even the cobra himself had to smirk a little), Roxane's ankle was tugged away by his tail, causing her to be fall away, back to the alley where Sir Pentious stood. He grabbed both her purse and the Captain's satchel and took her away from the scene. The Egg Bois followed him.  The collection of demons hurried from alleyway to alleyway, until they were far enough from the wreckage for Roxane to struggle in his grip and rip her hand away. "Let go of me!" she whispered. She shook her hand to help ease away his tight, though strangely warm grip.  "There," she breathed in and out, tired from running. He briefly glanced at her, a little dumbfounded, before reaching inside. His smile spread from side to side as he pulled out what looked like a one hundred page document covered in tiny words, blue prints, and maps detailing the entirety of the Inferno and the best places to hide from the purging creatures. The Egg Bois climbed on top of each other, forming a ladder of sorts, with Curtis on the bottom and Samuel on top. He and Roxane looked over Sir Pentious's shoulder and 'oohed' and 'ahhed' over the overflow of information. The cobra looked over at Roxane and quietly pondered her. She was quick on her feet, evidently smart, and extremely capable, and the strangest part about it was, he didn't necessarily disapprove of her taking a look. 

   Sirens suddenly rang at them, causing Sir Pentious to grab the bois and Roxane and bolt away as fast as he could, leaving a ranting Captain of the Guard.

  ...

   In the days following the annual purge, Roxane walked cautiously towards Sir Pentious's home, making sure she wasn't being followed. The bruises and scratches from wearing shorts during her initial conflict with the serpent were all nearly healed, now that the dust had settled. In time, people came out of their homes and gave into the same vices they'd fallen for in the past. Some let their hands wander upon the bodies of others, other stuffed their faces with food and drink, and a few spewed blatant falsehoods.   "Oh yeah, you should've seen it. I smashed 'em and I ripped those purgers to pieces. No demon killer can sneak up on me and get off scott free!"   Roxane softly scoffed.     "I will admit; it was really neat of Sir Pentious to tell people where to go and how to prep for the invasion," a pink and yellow demon woman with one eye piped up. Roxane smiled as she turned towards his house. "Sounds like his plan is working," she thought.     She dashed to the front door of his two story home. Though she knew she could walk right in, she knocked on the door anyway, quickly parting her feet and extending her arms. When the doors opened, an Egg Bois holding a shotgun answered. "Y-Yes?" he asked.   "YIPES!"     "Ooh lunch!" Roxane replied, almost teasing. She lunged for the boi, who kicked his legs around at her firm hands on his egg shell. "Oh no not again!" he cried. "Save me, Boss! Save me!!"     "Roxane," Sir Pentious replied, standing in the foyer with his arms folded. Roxane dangled him over her open mouth before looking at an annoyed cobra.  "Drop him."       The mongoose groaned and dropped the egg, who dashed behind the snake, holding his tail from behind him.   "That's right, egg. Scramble to your Boss!" Roxane replied with a facetious wink. The boi trembled, and Sir Pentious rolled his eyes. "Matthew, go find the others. See if they need anything."    "Yes, yes, of course!" the boi replied, hurrying towards the meeting hall. Sir Pentious curved an eyebrow at her, as she put her hands behind her back, appearing innocent.   "Now, don't you start with that little smirk, silly mongoose," he warned, as she winked at him. She walked up to him, looking pleased at the smile trying to grow on his lips. He took her up the stairs to a door in the hallway, which he opened to reveal a gold and dark gray colored office.   "Close the door behind you, if you please," Sir Pentious replied.   "Oh, sure," she replied as he slithered past his blinking hat on his rack. It watched Roxane as she briefly glanced at it. Once she sat down in front of his desk, it grinned at him. Sir Pentious noticed and squinted at it, causing it to give him a knowing look.    "So, Roxane-" he began, as she put her hands in her lap.  "Mmh-hmm?"    "I can safely say that my purge plan is working just about as well as I hoped it would. I heard on the radio that even our good friend, the Captain, had a less than pleasant experience during the actual conflict," Sir Pentious replied with a diabolical grin. Roxane chuckled at a beam she found rather amusing.    "I think so too. I heard someone compliment you on the way here,” she pointed out.      "Good, good, I had deduced that someone would. While I've got you-" Sir Pentious replied, beckoning her to lean forward, with his finger. She did so, and emphasized her ear with her own to listen in. "-though I've got a jump start of popularity going around, I need you to do me a favor."    "Might as well; I've done a few for you already," Roxane replied in a teasing tone. Normally, Sir Pentious wouldn't have approved, but at this point, he expected it.   "And I've done a couple for you, don't forget! I had hoped that you appreciated hiding here during the purge as an expression of my...thanks, I suppose," he replied. The hat grinned at him, at which he stared it down. Roxane nodded. "I did, thank you, and I appreciate you letting me get out and get some nice warm air after those creeps left," she returned. A mild blush almost flared up before he turned his head around. "Of course; I mean, it wouldn't have been very gentlemanly of me to keep a relatively new acquaintance of mine cooped up here in the aftermath of the worst inconvenience I get all year. In fact, now that the worst is over for the year, I have a job for you."     "Aah, good, the commission you promised," Roxane reminded him.       "If you succeed of course. Task first, payment second; that was our deal."        "Fine, fine," she admitted.  The cobra smirked as he handed her a map of Katie Killjoy's television studio and dressing room, plus a picture of a light pink, ovular pill. "Last night, one of my bois," he said this with a hint of aggravation. "-lost a very powerful sedative I asked him to pick up and present to me. I had intended on planting it in Angel Dust's regular drug intake. My boi's partner saw Killjoy's co-anchor, Tom, pick it up and take it to the studio before he could grab it. It's not a lethal drug, but it can put its consumer in a powerful sleep. It would give me more than enough time to surround his gang, overtake them, and claim his terf. But before I can do that, I need to take back that sedative and any footage their cameras may have of it. Knowing Killjoy, her crew are probably working on a big story about it right now. This is where you come in: I want you to sneak into the station, find the sedative, and bring it and any footage her cameras may have picked up of it. Better yet, if you find any, bring the cameras to me. A good dismantling should do the trick."  Roxane nodded and hummed, as he explained his story, and placed her hand on the desk.   "Consider it done, and don't forget: 20 credits/hour, starting as soon as you send me out."     "If you succeed."     "I think I will. I'm a quick, tough lady, sir," she explained, flexing an arm muscle. She tapped her fist to his cheek, causing him to lose control of that light pink blush to his cheeks. Her gentle fist on his skin helped him feel strangely warm before he cleared his throat. "Yes, well, if I were you, I'd get going. Your commission starts now. Don't die on the way back and hands off my bois."   "Alright, alright," she said. She walked towards the door, and spared him one last glance, before she smiled. “Oh and Sir Pentious?” He looked up at her.     "Thanks."

 With that, she was gone. The snake's muscles stiffened, before he noticed his hat grinning at him. He loosened them and flexed his jacket. 

 "Yes well...pleasant girl," he assured himself.