#hazbin hotel milan

[exorcist-milan420]

[After signing the contract with Levi, Lee realized that she could no longer work on the Great Fall case. Overall, she'd already collected all the necessary information, but she needed more time to clarify the details. Time she didn't have now. Oh well.]

[Anyway, even such incomplete information will be more useful than nothing at all! At least the exorcists will have time to pack their things.. and yap about the situation to the rest of Heaven, the winners. Perhaps if word spreads widely enough, this cruel plan can be canceled! Orrr it'll get worse and Sera will decide to perform it even earlier. Well, it's still worth a try!]

[With such a smart thoughts in her little head, Lee burst into Milan's room in the exorcist barracks, breaking out her window.]

AYO 420!!

Ya' my bro's pal, ain't ya? His name is Ava! Ava da Pigeon, of course, not da bad one... ANYWAYS! Milan? -🍬

Startled by the sudden burst of glass and a giant yellow bug, Milan jumped out of her bed. She instinctively assumes the Exorcist fighting stance, her wings flaring out defensively.

"Wha- WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!?"

She quickly reaches for for sword on her nightstand, only to find it wasn't there. Eyes darting around the room, she finds an empty bottle of beer and smashes it open.

"Alright listen, I don't know who you are or what you're doing here, but I got a cracked open bottle and I'm not afraid to use it."

Picking up on the name Ava, she stares at Lee in confusion.

"Hang on...you know Ava?"

[seraphim-sarai]

fortnite

@exorcist-milan420

I’ve asked you this a thousand times…

WHAT IS SO FUNNY ABOUT THE WORD “FORTNIGHT”?

-🦢

[seraphim-adina]

Milan yawned loudly as she walked down the halls of the palace, not really paying any mind to her surroundings as she left Sarai’s quarters.

She just needed some breakfast. She didn’t even notice she was walking right towards—

“Augh—!”

…She looked up at…

That… That face. That haircut. It almost drove her into a cheer— But she knew better. This wasn’t who she thought it was.

…But she looked a lot like her. Almost uncontrollably, Milan made a wistful smile, feeling like she was greeting… An old friend, so to speak.

“…Hi.”

@exorcist-milan420

Adina looked down at the small Exorcist before here.

So, this was Sarai's secret. Her little Exorcist pet.

It was almost too perfect that Adina should run into her now - Adina would know, she picked the right time and place to "accidentally" run into her.

She knew that Sarai had been hiding a secret ever since she had heard the loud crash of her roof falling in, and when she would see her very hastily brushing away Exorcist feathers every so often. She just had to know more about what the Apprentice was doing, and luckily for her, Sarai was just awful at keeping her secrets~

"Hello Exorcist," Adina began, her voice sweet, "Are you here to meet with the Council today? It's a bit early for such meetings~"

[exorcist-ava]

[Sadie] Howdy, Ava! *She takes one of the coffees out from the drink carrier she’s holding and offers it to him.* How are you feeling? Ready for this? Excited for y’all to be besties again??

*They start down the street.* Gotta say, sort of hard to believe I got Milan on board for this so easily. Of course, I had to sweeten the deal with an Americano and a chocolate chip cookie.

*The two of them arrive at Sadie and Milan’s previously agreed upon meeting place; the pickleball courts (for some reason).* Oh, and, uh… I guess it also helps that Milan doesn’t know I’m bringing you along. ANYWAY, look, there she is! Go say hi!

“Esperar, ¿qué dices-“

Ava sighs. She had taken some time to cool off since their massive fight, and started to think more about actually talking ever since she met Sadie. There was no way it would go as well as Sadie hoped, but one of them had to make an effort, right?

And plus, she wanted that apology from Milan.

“Sup,” she says to Milan, taking a sip of her coffee.

[joy-eris-joy]

I’m sorry @informist, I couldn’t help myself.

Milan and Femme!Ava (it’s not canon, don’t worry).

[exorcist-milan420]

oh great wrong account. fortunately it works very well

Let's give it up for butches who whimper and whine, gotta be one of my favourite things in the world

[exorcist-milan420]

Ava ran as fast as he could to find Milan. The memories of his time as Adina's bodyguard came rushing back all at once as soon as Sadie mentioned her name. It all came back to him - the fear, the humiliation, the isolation. He knew damn well what Adina was capable of, and he knew that for all her faults, Milan didn't deserve that.

He rushed to Milan's dorm, only to find it empty. Thinking quickly, he knew that if Adina had envenomed her like she did him, Milan must've already been on her way to Adina's quarters. He ran the familiar way, and sure enough, caught her a block away from the Palace.

Hey!

He calls out. He notices how dazed she looked, and his fears worsen.

HEY!! -🚬

@exorcist-ava

Milan stumbled, blinking blearily against the bright light all around her. Weird, it was so bright but it felt so dark. She didn't even know why she was bothering; Adina was shit for sex but... she had a craving. So Milan did what she did best: she went for it. Even if it was a bad idea.

Hey!

Fuck, she did feel awful, though. Worse than she'd been feeling. But maybe that was just normal now. Maybe she just needed to get used to always feeling like shit. Because she was shit. She was-

HEY!!

Milan looked up, recognizing the voice and pushing back the tears that came to her eyes. "What? You change your mind about yellin' at me some more?"

[seraphim-sarai]

Milan sighed, flopping onto her dorm couch.

“Finally fucking done…”

Her dorm was absolutely sparkling, a bottle of absinthe and wine on the table along with crystal-clear glasses for her and Sarai.

She checked the clock on her nightstand. 5:47 PM, and Sarai was definitely the type to be early. Good thing she was dressed in something that wasn’t entirely insufferable, and even made the effort to slick her hair back a bit more than usual.

A knock at the door made her sigh and push herself up, shake the tiny bit of nervousness off, and open the door.

Sarai hoped the dark cloak she draped themself in was enough to disguise themself. It was humiliating enough that they had agreed to meeting up with Milan. The rest of Heaven certainly didn’t have to know about it.

Given all their powers, they would’ve fashioned themselves a more discreet form to sneak into the Exorcist’s dorm, if they hadn’t already been so frazzled by their argument with Timpani…and Lute…and Ava. They hardly even remembered that they were supposed to meet up with Milan, so they quickly threw on the first thing they could find and prayed no one would recognize them.

They were going to see Milan, collect the money she owed them, and leave. That should be quick and painless.

They shuddered slightly as the door clicked open.

[exorcist-ava]

The exorcist halls were always buzzing with chatter, and today was no exception. Milan was sitting at her usual spot, munching on her rations and talking with her mouth full.

“Yeah, so then she was like… ‘Give it to me… Your credit card information.’ It was so fucking hot...”

-@exorcist-milan420

Walking by, Ava couldn’t help but overhear Milan’s words. Milan seemed to be overly enthusiastic as she recounted some sort of very hot encounter. It sounded…interesting, to say the least. Cocking one of her eyebrows, Ava decided to approach her, in the hopes of getting some details. It was never too early for some gossip.

“What’s this talk about credit card information and hot chicks?” She says, blowing out smoke from her daily cigarette, “Did ya get lucky or something, hermano?”

[joy-eris-joy]

Putting a filter on this not because it’s explicit, but because it’s just so unfunny that it hurts

@informist

@wittepain

@able-juice

@silvireal

[seraphim-sarai]

[Sadie] *She offers her best ‘customer service’ smile as Sarai, a stranger to her still, approaches the counter. The morning rush is tapering off and she’s tired, but still sounds chipper enough.*

Howdy! Welcome to Deja Brew. What can I get started for you today?

@abitofapancakesnob

Sarai was struggling. She failed to keep her usual cold and stoic demeanor as she nearly tripped over her feet as she stumbled into the shop. She smelled of heavy cigar smoke from the three she had smoked on the way to the shop.

Her mind was reeling from the three words Milan had told her. What could they possibly mean? Was she genuine? But it couldn't be! She was a Seraph and Milan was an Exorcist!

There was no way she was serious - Milan never was. That's what Sarai told herself as she rushed to the counter.

"May I..." she stumbled over her words, "May I have a...ugh, what was it called again?"

She struggled to remember what Sera and the other Seraphim had wanted, even though she was usually good at remembering whatever abominations they liked.

"Right," she said, "I'll take a capulus mayonnaise et aqua cum acidus crepito."

Wait. That wasn't English.

"Sorry. I meant νερό χοτ ντογκ και ιρλανδική σακούλα μπαχαρικών με γεύση latte."

That wasn't English either.

"Uh...that was...incorrect."

This was unbecoming of her.

[exorcist-ava]

Holy shit, capitán, you’re French?

That’s almost as bad as Milan being Italian…

YO LUTE SPIT SOME BARS

[Clears throat]

Oh? I guess you wanted another rap?

I don't hover on these bars, I flatten the whole track.

Expecting the violent villainess to violate anonymous asks.

Woah I guess I'm virulent, this blog is spreading so damn fast

That's A S K dash L U T E,

straight off the dome when I'm crashing the whole scene.

No ask blog better than me, you don't see.

Et je parle français, pendant que les démons fuient.

You could @ask-vaggie, but who the fuck would wanna do that,

can't forget @theprincessofhell2; lucifer's brat.

@exorcist-daki trying to snack on a rat.

@exorcist-ava with a metro card and a cigarette pack.

About to beat this beat like an @exorcist-timpani drum,

with @your-favorite-therapist giving the lyre a strum.

The world revolves around me, scratch that, it's the lutualverse.

Weird asks popping up like a virtual curse.

@exorcist-milan420 and @seraphim-sarai with the secretive thirst.

Sinners better run or get death's sequel, no hearse.-🗡

[exorcist-ava]

((OOC: Not posting this on main lmao.))

((Sparknotes of Milan/Ava beef part 2))

[joy-eris-joy]

Thinking about her again.

Since she’s based off the Eurasian bullfinch, I imagine her natural hair color is a beige-gray color since that’s what the females’ feathers are. (It’s the males that have bright orange feathers.)

[majiniesthings]

he’s super magical okay

[exorcist-milan420]

You’re the one who sent all those to her?! Fuck, man, she’s not ignoring them. She just throws them away…

Lee... It's time to let go-

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU -🍬

...God, please give me strength. -🌸