#haya and jihan | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

redblossom · 2 months ago

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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Esa fui yo al leer el capítulo JAJAJA, okay...no haré esto más largo, déjame iniciar a decir todo lo que me gustó: Primero: ¿Joshua con sus sueños híper realistas? POBRECITO, no me esperaba que estuviera sufriendo tanto, sobre todo después de que está alcanzando todo lo que había pedido. Siento que, como él dice, llegó tan rápido que no ha sabido dosificarlo bien y por eso quiere salirse. Espero que no lo haga, porque no hay nada más sexy que Joshua rocker...pero supongo que sólo tú V sabes que sucederá. Segundo: Amo la relación entre Bunny y Jeonghan, siento que son la mezcla perfecta entre romance y lujuria, lo cuál hace que su historia sea una parte tan linda que no puedes evitar enamorarte de ellos dos como pareja. Yo sé que lo estoy, por eso me gusta que cada vez tengan mas escenas juntos.

Tercero: ¿El crush del Jihan? Ese remordimiento de Joshua de estar viendo a su mejor amigo en los vídeos en lugar de su novia fue *chefs kiss*, eso y la confesión de Hannie, que la verdad, yo sí veía venir, sobre todo por todo lo que ha sucedido en sus vidas y lo coordinados que son siempre, me hace pensar que Hannie tomó una actitud espejo, para olvidar sus sentimientos por Josh, mejor decidió reflejarlo. Supongo que por eso le atrajo a Bunny.

Cuarto: ¿Las escenas de los 3? UFFFFFFFFF, amé esa dicotomía tan fuerte entre Joshua querer dominar y Hannie también, pero siempre concentrados en el mismo objetivo y eso es lo más importante, creo yo, que para que todo funcione ellos dos tengan que orbitar en el mismo lugar y que ese lugar sea alrededor de ella, lo hace todo más hermoso.

Quinto: Esa mini-pelea entre Bunny y Joshua sólo me recordó a sus tiempos iniciales y fue nostálgico, porque yo podía sentir el estrés de Josh pero también el de Bunny. El que Jeonghan haya entrado después fue algo que no me esperaba pero que me encantó porque siento que a veces es el único que puede hacer que Shua reaccione.

Sexto: *cantos de ángeles en el cielo* TENEMOS BESO JIHAN, ESTO NO ES UN SIMULACRO. AHHHHHHH, LO AMÉ, ME FASCINÓ, NO PUEDO ESPERAR A SABER LAS REACCIONES POSTERIORES A ESE BESO.

Al final fue un capítulo que tuvo de todo y me hizo sentir bastante emocionada por lo que viene, adoro tu forma de escribir estos personajes y créeme que estoy al pendiente de los escritos que subas, la app no siempre me avisa, pero siempre llegaré, lo prometo.

Muchas gracias por compartir tu escritura con nosotros V, no sabes lo genial que es tener a buenos escritores una vez más en Tumblr. Aquí tienes una fiel lectora y esperemos que mis reviews se hagan incluso más largas jsjs.

Hasta la próxima, V

Blossom xx

strobe lights | lights out series

Joshua's search for an answer to the frenetic pacing of his life leads him down roads that could cause him more confusion. And fear.

✮ pairings: yoon jeonghan x female reader x joshua hong ✮ genre: angst, fluff, smut [18+] ✮ aus: theatre director jeonghan, rockstar joshua, polyamorous relationship ✮ word count: 23.2k

→ season one — season two — read more

› smut warnings under the cut

✮ warnings: anxiety attacks, dark-ish themes, mentions of hard drugs. smut with plot, toxic joshua is back, mlm action uwu, consensual recordings of sex, jeonghan and joshua are into cucking, dom jeonghan, dom joshua, subby reader, dirty talk, corruption kink, pegging, sort of somnophiliac activities, praise and degradation kink, a long ass threesome, use of the word slut (lovingly), car sex, cum play, cum eating, rimming, slight sadism: face slaps, spanking. masturbation, blowjobs, anal sex, double penetration, cumming on skin, edging. pet names: baby, bunny, princess, filthy girl, good girl, sweetheart (hers) baby, babe, good boy (jihan) ✮ author's note: hi hi hi hi there everyone! just here with the usual note to indicate that instances where the words Bunny, Princess, or Baby are capitalized, are meant to signify Y/N, ok? ok. ty Baby (●'◡'●) ✮ author's note pt. 2: this is not proofread. i apologize in advance. ✮ disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

part v

The elevator doors parted with a soft ding. Joshua stepped out, walking down the hallway on the floor he used to live in long ago. He stopped in front of your apartment door, breathing in slowly to calm the tightness in his chest. Bringing a hand up, he knocked three times and waited.

In his hand, he held a bottle of red wine. Joshua did not even know if the dinner went along with it. He preferred whisky. But he would let it slide, for tonight.

The door opened. “Ah, Joshuji! Welcome back!” his best friend chanted, instantly bringing him to a hug. “What’s this?” Jeonghan grabbed the bottle of wine, pretending to read the label. “I don’t know anything about wines.”

“Me neither,” Joshua replied dryly, looking at the interior space. Everything was tidied, his noise amplifiers had been removed and, in their place, stood a bookshelf with your first books displayed. He noticed; that those looked like the books you wrote before you met him.

“Wait here, let me go get her. I think she was taking a nap but, she’s so excited,” Jeonghan said briefly, settling the bottle of wine on the table and turning to the bedroom. “Baby! Wake up, there’s a surprise for you!”

The bookshelf also hosted a pair of pictures of you, one where Jeonghan was kissing your cheek. Before he could see the other one, his best friend came back, the thing in his chest hugged his heart even harder. You were striding close behind Jeonghan, your hand wrapped in his.

“Hi, Joshua,” you meekly stuck your hand out to him. “Jeonghan has told me about you,” a smile painted your pretty face. “Nice to meet you.”

The thing in his chest burst, making him freeze right there and then. Before he could control his body, his hand was reaching yours, in a handshake. The softness of your fingers. It felt right, it was you. You. His Bunny.

“Nice to meet you too,” he forced out.

A sharp intake of breath snapped him back to life. Sitting up in the bed, his senses were catching up. His hand palmed the bed, the spot beside him.

Only to find it vacant. You were not there; this was not your bed. He sat alone in a hotel room.

Joshua let out a breath, bringing his hands to rub his face, trying to calm himself down. He sniffed quietly, trying to hold back the pain throbbing inside his chest.

He searched for his phone in the dark, squinting at the light coming from the screen as he searched for your name. The last text message from you read, Going to bed. I love you! It was sent two hours ago. There was no reply from him.

His thumb trembled slightly before he pressed on the call button. But he held in his breath and pressed the phone to his ear. He still felt hazy, with the last slivers of his nightmare clawing into the back of his head.

“Hello?” he mumbled as soon as he noticed you picked up his call.

“Hi baby,” you replied sluggishly.

“I’m sorry,” he dropped his head slightly. “I’m waking you up.”

“What’s going on?” you asked, your voice went up slightly.

“I just wanted to hear your voice,” he replied, the thing in his chest stammered painfully.

“Is everything okay, Josh? You sound off,” you pointed, and he could almost picture the frown in your face.

“Yeah, baby, everything’s okay,” he replied, a low rasp from the feeling coiling in his throat made his tone sound unsure. “I just miss you terribly.”

You could tell that those last words made his voice thicker. “I miss you too, baby,” you replied sweetly. “I can’t wait to see you.”

“Next week, baby, I promise,” he whispered, rubbing the tips of his fingers on the corners of his eyes. “I’ll let you sleep now, okay?”

You paused. “Sure you’re okay, babe?”

The worry he heard in your voice soothed a part of the nasty feeling pulsating in his chest. “Yes, baby, don’t worry,” he mumbled with all of the assertiveness he could muster. “You can go back to sleep now, I’m sorry.”

“Okay,” you whispered. “I’ll go back to sleep, but call me tomorrow as soon as you can, please.”

“I’ll do that,” he smiled to himself, trying to picture your sleepy eyes. “I love you.”

“And I love you, Joshua,” you mumbled sweetly. “Sleep well.”

“You too, baby.”

The line went dead, and you lay your head on your fluffy pillows. After returning your phone to the nightstand, you sighed.

A hand quickly came to park on your tummy. “What’s wrong?” Jeonghan mumbled with a sleepy drawl.

“It was Joshua,” you explained faintly. “He had a nightmare.”

“Mmn, again?” Jeonghan asked, rubbing slow circles on your skin.

“He didn’t say it, but that’s what I assume.”

“But is he okay?”

“I don’t think so. He didn’t sound like it,” you whispered glumly. “I’ve been trying to get him to talk these past few days, but he swears he doesn’t remember anything.”

“We’ll go see him in a few days,” he shushed, caressing your hair to uncover your face to his eyes. “Don’t worry about him right now, baby. We can’t help him from here.”

“I just don’t want him to go into hiding again,” you mumbled faintly, nuzzling your face on the crook of his neck.

Jeonghan shivered slightly upon the gentle caress of your breath on his skin. “I’ll break him out of it if that’s what it takes,” he replied with certainty. “Now sleep, baby. Got a big day ahead tomorrow. We got to work.”

“Yeah…” you breathed against his neck, placing a small kiss. “Sleep.”

Joshua crafted a routine for himself. While on tour he had to learn one thing: he needed to have order. There was no room for worry, so he would not let his anxieties grow. So, he would call you everyday, although sometimes he could not get to your text messages on time, he made a rule to call you at least once a day.

He would hit the gym every chance he could get, and if there was no gym, he would go out for a run late at night, or before sunrise. Then of course, he would go to work: whether it was at a concert, or interviews, events, photoshoots…

However, there was something else happening within that routine too.

He woke up with a start, snapping his eyes open and sighed with frustration at the loud alarm vibrating beneath his pillow. He shut the high-pitched sound at once, letting his face sink onto the white fluffy pillows with a tired groan.

As he stretched out his limbs underneath the bed sheets, he turned over rubbing his eyes with the back of his knuckles.

Another sigh, he unlocked his phone, checking his schedule for the day, verifying he had three hours until his first activity. Then he moved onto checking the messages he had not attended to, discarding mentally those that seemed unimportant and pressing a thumb over your name.

Call me as soon as you can, please. I love you. Your message read. It was sent a couple of minutes after the phone call last night. If he called you right now, he would wake you up again. He could call you later.

The pad of his thumb slid up, swiftly finding the app where you shared a folder with him, and with Jeonghan. His heart banged against his chest. Is it normal to be this excited so early in the morning?

There were new files added to the secret folder that Jeonghan created a little less than a month ago. Lately, he had been getting a new video more regularly. Joshua wondered why the first few weeks of him going away he did not get anything.

But now, it seemed to him that you and Jeonghan had found a way to keep him updated… and busy. This was his routine. Wake up, check for new messages, watch your videos, work, come back to the hotel, call you, rewatch videos, sleep.

Now, he never considered himself a person that would watch porn. Not regularly, not even by mistake. Not because he did not like it. But because if he wanted to get his hands dirty, he would do so with someone who would have him. He was not interested in watching porn when he could do the real thing with someone.

But watching you like this changed his view in so many ways. He found out that he was wrong for thinking porn was not for people like him.

When he asked Jeonghan and you to keep him updated, he did it purely because he did not want to be left out. He knew he would miss seeing this side of you, so that was one of his conditions.

Joshua also found out, how well Jeonghan knew him.

He always begun his morning by watching one video Jeonghan recorded of you. The angle was perfect, it captured your body lying on the bed, so he could see perfectly from your hips to your face. Jeonghan’s hand pressed a toy to your wet pussy, pleasuring you without letting you stop for air.

“Jeonghan, please,” you whined, teary eyed, hands clutching the towel beneath your body.

“Please, what?” he asked, his voice low and almost aloof, much as if he were also caught up by the faces you made, and the sounds escaping your glossy lips.

“F-fuck me, just fuck me,” you cried out, your face scrunching as you moaned lewdly, thighs shaking uncontrollably. “Please…”

“Why should I?” he retorted. “Aren’t you enjoying this, baby? You’ve came five… how many times already?”

“Se-seven,” you mumbled shamefully, twitching on the bed.

Jeonghan pressed his finger on one of the tiny buttons of the vibrator he was holding against your clit. “Eight makes a nice number, don’t you think?” he asked.

Joshua hated that he knew by the tone alone that Jeonghan was wearing a smirk behind the camera. He knew his best friend so well that he had learned all his gimmicks. The vibrator went faster, teasing your engorged clit mercilessly.

“G-god, Hannie,” you gritted your teeth, closing your eyes tightly. “I’m coming, fuck, fuck, I’m g-gonna come.”

You stirred your back on the bed, sinking the back of your head on the pillow as you came, moaning loudly and so very lewdly. “Fuck, you’re squirting again, baby,” Jeonghan sighed, capturing your climax on camera.

“Please, no more,” you whined, teary eyed and panting. “I just need you, please, please.”

“Alright,” Jeonghan muttered, turning off the vibrator and tossing it aside.

But the video did not stop there. Jeonghan moved the phone closer between your legs, making sure Joshua saw your puffy clit, slick in your arousal, Jeonghan’s fingers slid between your folds, a string of arousal stretching between them.

Joshua’s cock stirred beneath his boxers, and he begun palming himself upon the sight of your messy cunt, the arousal dripping down the wet towel beneath you. The fingers spread your folds open, as you clenched around nothing with the aftershocks of the orgasm that forced through you.

The next video was one of his favorites.

It seemed to him that you barely had the chance to set up your phone camera pointing to you. You and Jeonghan were both sitting on the small couch of your office, you were facing the camera, your back pressed to Jeonghan’s chest.

Joshua liked to think that you chose this position so he could see your face. And it was probably the case. He stroked his cock with one hand, blood rushing to the tip as he spread his own precum all over it.

On this video, you were sitting on Jeonghan, riding him fast. You leaned back slightly so the camera perfectly captured you bouncing up and down Jeonghan’s dick. Your moans are quiet... until they were not when Jeonghan’s fingers came to the view, slipping between your pussy lips, rubbing your clit with fast swirls.

You came on top of him, clutching your thighs with your hands. Writhing, but you continued riding him, a moan escaping Joshua when Jeonghan’s cum dripped down his dick, as you continue fucking yourself on him.

Joshua swipes a finger onto the next video, where you are on all fours while Jeonghan fucks you from behind. He pumped himself faster, watching you come on Jeonghan’s cock over and over as he comes in his own hand.

Jeonghan fucks you as though he were having fun, when he fucks you, he does so playfully. There is a smile on his face as he grabs your ass, fucking you down his cock. The features of his beautiful face are riddled by bliss and pleasure, his throat bobs as he moans.

Every time Joshua watches this, he wishes he were in Jeonghan’s place; feeling you squeeze around him, your warmth wrapping him. But sometimes, if he dared to admit it, he enjoys watching his best friend’s face as he comes with you.

Joshua sent a glance down his lower abdomen, a few beads of cum splayed on his skin. But he ignored it, swiping again on the screen to take a look at the new video Jeonghan uploaded.

“Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me,” Joshua muttered under his breath.

The video was inside Jeonghan’s car. The phone was mounted on the dashboard, capturing both Jeonghan at the wheel, and you on the passenger seat. Jeonghan was stroking your hair as you were leaning over to him, taking his cock in your mouth.

Jeonghan let out a breath through his teeth. “Fuck,” he gritted, letting his head fall back on the headrest of his seat.

You bobbed your head slowly on him, probably on his command so he did not come too fast.

Something you did with your mouth made Jeonghan laugh. “Fuck, baby, stop doing that or I might come too soon. We’re almost there.”

The lighting inside the car changed, quickly surrounding yourselves by an enclosed space that Joshua quickly assumed was an underground parking lot.

Jeonghan gripped the steering wheel tighter, biting his lower lip as he managed to park the car in a spot, shutting the engine off swiftly.

You lifted your head from his crotch, darting a shy glance around you before clicking your seat belt off. “Move your seat back,” you urged, palming his thigh suggestively.

Joshua was surprised to see you take the light slap Jeonghan gave you on one cheek. “Don’t boss me around,” he used the same hand to cup your chin, squeezing your cheeks to then kiss you chastely.

But he did what you asked anyway, pushing his seat back as you shifted onto your knees on his sides. You moved your hair to one shoulder, uncovering your face to the camera as you leaned over to continue sucking his dick.

Joshua continued watching, languidly playing with his cock as the blood rushed again to the head, growing harder and harder. He encircled his shaft with his fist, pumping himself to full hardness, groaning under his breath as Jeonghan brought a hand down on your ass, spanking you firmly.

Jeonghan drew in a breath, stretching his back in an attempt to resist the pleasure building up inside him. “Fuck, you’re so good at this, baby,” he groaned, squeezing his eyes tightly.

Joshua rolled his hand on his own cock, pumping fast as he remembered how good your pretty mouth feels when you pleasure him; he imagined he was there instead of Jeonghan. You whimpered on Jeonghan’s cock, making him moan as he gathered your hair with his hands, following the movements of your head on him.

“Why don’t we show Joshuji what you’re wearing, baby?” Jeonghan asked, his voice was already turning raspy in wanton.

Joshua’s heart stammered upon hearing his own name being voiced by Jeonghan on the video. This occurred with frequency, and he knew this was Jeonghan's way to taunt him, even through videos.

You paused, pulling off his cock to nod with your head. “Yes, Hannie,” you replied sweetly, but leaned down to continue blowing him off.

“You’re so fucking needy you couldn’t wait till we got home to show him,” Jeonghan rasped, keeping a hand on your hair as he used the other to hike your black mini skirt up, revealing an equally black string thong and stockings.

Joshua shifted his gaze from the side of your face to Jeonghan’s hand caressing your ass gently, pausing to give you a playful spank to make you moan.

Jeonghan sighed, closing his eyes in enjoyment. “Fuck, baby. I need you now,” he urged, releasing your hair.

You stopped sucking him off, pushing yourself from your seat and crawling onto Jeonghan’s lap, clumsily straddling him on his seat. Jeonghan reclined the seat back, making you giggle shyly in the heat of the rushed moment.

Joshua felt disappointed now that he could not get a view on your face. But the feeling was quickly replaced when Jeonghan hiked your skirt up again, uncovering your ass to the camera. Then he understood why he had not seen that thong on you before; it was one of those that left your pussy uncovered completely.

Joshua got a clear view of your hand guiding Jeonghan’s cockhead to your entrance, hearing your whimpers as you sank down on his cock, moving your pretty ass slowly, as though adjusting yourself on him.

“God,” you whimpered, dropping your head on his shoulder as you bounced on Jeonghan gently at first.

Joshua moaned deeply. All focus was on the sight of Jeonghan’s cock disappearing inside your pussy. You were picking up the pace, cupping one of his cheeks to bring him into a kiss to muffle your sweet moans.

“Are you enjoying this?” Jeonghan asked longingly looking at the features of your face.

“Yes Hannie,” you nodded dazedly.

“You’re so fucking wet, baby,” he murmured, a light smirk painting his face. “You should’ve told me you wanted to fuck in my car sooner.”

It was the first time you had sex in a car, and it was even more exciting than when you first brought it up to Jeonghan. You and Jeonghan had been playing a game of chasing new first times, together.

Ever since he took you in a dressing room of a clothing store, an idea sparked in your head. And now, you were there, in his car, grinding on him.

“Fuck, I’m close,” Jeonghan sighed in pure pleasure, his hands gripping your waist over your skirt. “I need you to come now, princess.”

“I-,” you choked out, and Joshua could hear the shyness in your tone. “I can’t, Hannie. I’m a little sensitive.”

“But you were begging to have my cock last night,” he rasped, a lazy smile drawing on his face.

“Hannie,” you gasped aghast, but Joshua noticed how your hips stuttered.

“What? Don’t you want Josh to know? How you couldn’t stop bouncing this little pussy on me last night?” he asked, but his tone sounded even more gruff and airy. Joshua knew by the tone alone that he was closer.

“Hannie,” you cried reproachful.

“Your pretty pussy needs to be filled everyday, right baby?” he looked at you languidly. “Come, baby,” he rasped. “Be a good slut for me.”

It seemed to Joshua that in his time away, his best friend had just discovered how much you liked to be talked filth. You nodded frantically, riding him faster.

“G-god, just like that,” Jeonghan grunted blissfully, gripping your waist tighter, hiking the skirt up your back, so Joshua could see the recoil of your ass on Jeonghan’s thighs every time you sank down on him.

Joshua moaned, unable to yank his gaze from the screen. You were riding him faster, eagerly. Jeonghan smiled playfully at you, sighing in pure pleasure.

“Jeonghan,” you whimpered, rolling your hips on his dick with full desperation. “Hannie, I’m close. God, I’m so close.”

“Yes, c-come on my cock, baby,” Jeonghan replied, evidently enjoying how pathetic you were being. His arms encircled your waist hugging you as you hid your face flush on his shoulder. “God, god, princess.”

“Hannie…” you cried out lewdly on his neck, your hands holding onto his shirt for dear life. His arms held you tighter, sighing out a strangled moan as he came with you.

“You’re so good for me,” Jeonghan muttered gruffly, clearly spent. “So good.”

You stopped riding him languidly, his hands now moving on your sides to push your hips up, spreading your pussy lips with his hands as his cum started dripping out of your entrance.

Joshua clenched his jaw, groaning deeply as ropes of cum landed on his fist, closing his eyes so tightly he saw stars. The video was cut there, and he stared at it as he panted, trying to recover and process how much he had liked seeing Jeonghan’s cum dripping out of your used hole.

He threw his phone aside, languidly letting his arms rest for some seconds before he rose from the bed, going directly to start the shower. Standing under the warm shower stream, a thought crossed his mind.

It had seemed as though you and Jeonghan were cruising some kind of honeymoon stage. As much as he hated to admit it to himself, you looked in love. And he knew his best friend for long enough to know that he was head over heels for you too.

The only thing he hated though, was that he was not as present in your life.

He came back to the bedroom to find his phone vibrating on the mattress, and he picked it up after reading your name on the screen. As he took the phone to his ear, he stopped at in surprise at the sight of your face, understanding it was a video call.

“Hi, handsome,” you smiled, clearly noticing that he had thought you were phone calling him. You were still in bed, bundled up in blankets, an arm tucked under your head.

“Oh, hi beautiful,” he replied in kind, his hair dripping wet on his shoulders.

“Did I catch you in a wrong time?” you asked, looking at his naked collarbones covered in droplets of water.

“No, baby. It’s fine, I was about to get ready for my day,” he shrugged lightly and looked for a place to prop his phone so he could get dressed.

“Hannie is here,” you mentioned as Joshua placed his phone against the lamp on the bedside table.

Jeonghan lifted his head from the pillow beside yours. “Hi, Joshuji,” he chanted groggily.

“Hi, Jeonghannie,” he replied with a light smile on his face. The image of you and Jeonghan in bed was not strange to him, as that also formed part of his routine sometimes. “Did you guys just wake up?” he asked, turning to fish a pair of clean boxers from his bag.

“Yeah, like two minutes ago,” Jeonghan groaned with clear annoyance that you were already on your phone video calling Joshua.

You giggled meekly. “Don’t get grumpy,” you teased as the man shifted from his pillow to your chest, getting comfortable on top of your body.

“You don’t let me sleep, so you’ll suffer my grumpiness,” Jeonghan muttered, closing his eyes. “How are you doing, Joshuji? You look tired.”

“I am tired,” he said.

“You have bags under your eyes,” Jeonghan added with a slight mischievous smirk.

“Shut up,” he hissed, feeling his own lips stretching into a smile as well. “You look pale and wrinkly.”

“Are you sure you’re not sick?” his best friend retorted. “Maybe you should take some days off.”

“Stop it, you two,” you huffed, and Joshua giggled bemusedly at your annoyed face.

“Did you watch the videos?” Jeonghan lifted his head only to blurt out that question, you rolled your eyes at him.

“I did,” Joshua coughed out a dry chuckle. “You two have been really busy.”

He stared squarely at the screen of his phone for a second before unwrapping the towel from his waist, trying to ignore that both you and Jeonghan would see him putting on his boxers.

“Ah, a little warning next time!” Jeonghan grumbled, turning his head on your chest as you chuckled.

Chewing on your lower lip to avoid smiling wider you placed a hand on the back of Jeonghan’s head. “Are you busy today, Josh?” you asked sweetly.

Joshua could not help but smiling at the sight of you being soft with both him and Jeonghan at the same time. A warm feeling bloomed inside him. “Yeah,” he replied to your question with a sigh, fetching a t-shirt as he put it on. “I have a packed schedule today. We have to shoot a couple of interviews back-to-back. But then I’ll have a whole day to myself.”

Your fingers started playing with Jeonghan’s long dark hair. “Mmn, you should come straight back here,” you murmured softly.

“I’d love that, baby,” he replied in kind, pouting at you before giving you a smile. “I guess I could grab the earliest flight after I’m done,” he said, following your game.

You knew this was nearly impossible. Not only did Joshua had a ton of activities to do to promote his new album, but you knew how much money it was put towards transportation. Flights were expensive.

But Jeonghan turned his head over, sneaking a look back on the screen. “Our flight is in six days; we could do something.”

Joshua saw in his eyes that he had started to plan but looked at you and then back at him. “Yeah, probably. I’ll check,” Joshua said with a dismissive air, but kept looking at his best friend.

“Yeah, yeah, sure, you do that,” Jeonghan replied, but sent him a meaningful look.

“Right,” he sighed. “I gotta go, baby. I’ll call you later tonight,” he paused. “Bye, Jeonghannie.”

“Bye, Josh,” you mumbled sweetly, giving him a sad smile. “Love you.”

“I love you,” he replied.

“Love you, Shujiii,” Jeonghan chanted mockingly, grabbing the phone from your hand and ended the call.

“This color suits you.”

Joshua looked at the woman in front of him. She was young, the bright glimmer in her eyes told him that much. Her long dark hair was draped on her shoulders, covered with a nice pink blouse that was just adorned with a microphone.

“Thank you,” he replied, mustering up a kind smile.

“Where are the others?” she asked, looking around him.

“They’re getting their makeup done. They’ll be here in a couple of minutes,” he looked at his watch.

“Oh, cool. That gives me time to reread my questions,” she showed him a smirk, looking up and down her cards and then back to his eyes.

If Joshua meant to read that smirk, he kept himself from doing so. Nodding at her politely, he just stepped back. “Okay. I’ll tell them to get ready,” he lied just to excuse himself, turning back to the dressing room.

He pulled out his phone, unlocking it to find a series of texts messages from you. You usually updated him throughout the day, whenever you felt like the chat you had together was running dry.

So he found a series of photo. First it was a photo of you coming out of bed, holding a fist at the camera in sign of motivation. Have a nice day, Joshie! Your text read. The next photo was the breakfast you made for two, though obviously one plate was for Jeonghan, Joshua found himself smiling. You had made French toast, and that alone reminded you of Joshua.

The last picture was your favorite mug, broken in pieces on the floor, coffee splashed all around it. Jeonghan scared me and I dropped my mug (┬┬﹏┬┬), the text read.

But before Joshua could reply, a member of the staff working on the production of the big company they were being interviewed by called them. They had their go.

“Come on, let’s go! Let’s go, let’s go,” Jihoon chanted over and over, more to himself than to the other two members of Midnight Haze.

“Let’s go,” Vernon replied dryly, but in his own enthusiastic way.

Joshua just nodded and went along with his two bandmates, walking through the tight space of the long hallway. He grew more and more restless as he reached the end of the hall and then the double doors.

The studio was small, and it looked even more cramped by the sound and lighting equipment, the sets of cameras surrounding the set, and the people tracking every single thing that happened during the filming of the interview.

This was not the first time Midnight Haze was interviewed. But it was certainly the first time with such a big production team. This was going to be aired on TV.

And he did not know what to expect.

A very smart PR company was going with Midnight Haze since they started touring again. But not everything was under their control, and as they grew more and more famous, people would naturally start picking them apart, piece by piece.

Needless to say, Joshua was nervous. Fidgeting with the watch on his wrist. He pushed his sleeves once more to his elbows, though pointlessly since they were rolled tight.

One man indicated each member of the band where to sit. And it was not a surprise that Joshua was told to sit diagonally to the interviewer.

Anxiety hugged his chest tightly, but he tried to push it down, swallowing hard and resting his palms on his lap.

“Going on five… four… three…” the man motioned with his fingers, two, one. Go.

All the cameras blinked with a red light, rolling. Joshua Looked at Jihoon and Vernon sitting beside him, looking alive in excitement and nervousness.

“And we are back, and we have a new guest in the studio, Midnight Haze!” the interviewer said, Maddy, Joshua reminded himself, her name is Maddy. She went on to giving a brief introduction to the viewers.

Midnight Haze was an independent band that grew rapidly to success. Or dubbed in the media as, Overnight Success, which Joshua thought was a dumb way to call their years of hard work, years of making music, framing their style, doing their best to put themselves out there.

But the media loves crafting stories. That is their job.

“So tell us more about your album,” Maddy prompted, looking expectantly at the three men sitting in the nice velvety red couch.

Naturally, Joshua had taken the position to answer to these questions, since he was considered the leader of the band, being the eldest, and the frontman. So he just replied. “It’s our first studio album. We worked really really hard to make it, and it means a lot for us to get this opportunity to share it with the world.

The following question was about the production of the album, which Jihoon replied to, taking the opportunity to speak as well, since he was the one who was the most well-versed in talking about songwriting and production.

Vernon took the next question was about touring, and visiting new places, getting to know new things and try new foods.

And lastly, the interview took a turn, diving into questions that sounded more personal. At first, Joshua thought nothing of it since it was a natural thing for media to put them in a tight spot. It was like an experiment, dropping a bomb of a question and see how they would react, make a viral video out of it.

But then, Joshua felt that he was being mocked at.

“Joshua, you had recently gained a reputation of yourself. You’re a bit of a ladies’ man. Want to talk to us about it?” she read her cards, lowering them to her lap with some nervousness. Then eyeing the text on her card and then back to his face, she added. “The people want to know, is there a certain someone in your life?”

Joshua felt as though a hand had squeezed the air out of his lungs. “Uh, no, no there isn’t,” he replied, adding a cough to clear his throat. Then realizing how he was acting, he put in quickly. “I am a free man.”

Joshua Hong, you idiot. He gritted his teeth, throwing a forced smile at the interviewer.

“Free as the wind,” Jihoon added awkwardly, making Vernon squeeze his face into a grimace, chuckling.

“Well that is all the questions I have for you today. Thank you for coming here!” Maddy clasped her hands together, flashing them a corporate smile.

“Thank you for having us,” Joshua replied. The staff member signaled them that the recording was over, and the crew swept in, getting ready to call it a day.

Joshua jumped from the couch, wanting to rip the microphone from his clothes, but someone got to it first, removing it with care before he did something reckless.

He needed a drink.

He undid one button of his white shirt, sighing in frustration and deciding to head back to the van and wait for the guys there.

“Hey, can I talk to you?”

Joshua turned to see Maddy approaching him. He made sure that the mic was nowhere to be seen, but he still felt weary as he nodded.

“I’m sorry about the last question, if it felt invasive,” she muttered awkwardly, looking around her before blurting: “I didn’t write it in, I didn’t want to ask it, but the team insisted.”

“Don’t worry,” he said, though he tried to sound as understanding as possible, there was an edge to his words. “I’ll better get used to you lot and your questions, right?”

Before he could take in the hurt expression of her face, Joshua turned his back on her, heading to the van.

IS JOSHUA TELLING THE TRUTH?

That was the title to the video that had gone viral within hours. As soon as the interview went live, people started picking it apart. Some to show their true support, some for pure entertainment.

Unfortunately, the latter was the one that gained strength. In a matter of hours, Joshua started seeing a slew, of comments linking the video for him to see. And when people started messaging him, he got worried.

So he ventured on the wild river that was the internet, quickly wishing he had not done so.

The video was a mix of other pictures and videos put together. Bits and pieces of the interview where he was asked about his recent reputation, and his stiff answer were compared to what was a theory crafted by someone who called themselves a follower.

What Joshua saw made the hairs of his nape stand. Is he telling the truth? The caption to the video read. And then he saw his own face, heard his own voice deflect the rumours by saying he was single.

And then, he saw you in the video.

It was just the outline of your body, and he could barely make out your face between the shadows of the photo. He tried to figure when and where this photo was taken, growing more and more restless when he came up with nothing. One thing Joshua new, someone he did not know took this photo.

Jeonghan was in the photo as well, walking behind you, grabbing your hand. The photo framed you as Jeonghan’s girlfriend. But then, the next photo showed you as well, wearing the same outfit, Joshua entering your building with you. Is this girl Joshua’s girlfriend? That was the theory.

The video meant nothing, there could be a thousand videos put together like this. But the damning thing was that it had gained traction, and with it, people that had a million things to say.

A thing which, Joshua dreaded like nothing else.

“Isn’t this going overboard, Hannie?” you asked innocently, setting down the towel on the couch.

“Is it?” he mused, humming as he propped the tripod on the coffee table, adjusting the camera to focus on the couch, and you sitting down on it, putting your hands neatly on your lap.

“I mean you even bought a camera for this,” you muttered between your teeth.

“That’s not true, I already owned this. I did buy the tripod, though,” he pressed the record button. “Wave to the camera, baby,” he instructed softly.

“Do you think Josh will like it?” you waved at the camera aloofly as it captured your movement, adjusting to the lighting of the living room perfectly.

“Mmn, I will,” he smiled at you, rising from his knees to approach you.

You tilted your head back, looking at him with bright eyes. “I know you will, baby,” you replied cutely at him. “But I also want Josh to like it.”

Jeonghan stopped to consider the idea for a second. “I think that he’ll like it too,” he shrugged. “We’ve never talked about our preferences around porn, but I know that he likes you.”

You giggled. “Okay.”

“Ready?” he asked, pinching your chin affectionately.

“Are you?” you grinned, causing him to click his tongue. “Yes, I’m ready Hannie.”

“Lie down, baby,” he motioned to the couch with his head.

“But don’t I—,” you stopped yourself before you could ask. “Mmf,” you hummed as you moved lying your head down on one large cushion as he pressed a knee on the couch, then the other.

“I want to kiss you first,” he explained once his chest was pressed to yours. “Come here,” he whispered, grabbing your cheek with one hand as he captured your lips with his.

“Mmn,” you responded so well to his touch, arching your back on the seats, your fingers sinking in his dark hair, pushing it back.

“You know that I love you, right?” he muttered with a gruff tone, pressing another kiss on your lower lip.

You nodded. “And I love you, Hannie,” you replied with a sweet smile, moving your hands to meet his waist.

Jeonghan shuddered, your hands slipped under his white hoodie, caressing the skin of his tummy. His eyelids fluttered a little, just as he bent down to kiss you again. “Not so fast, princess,” he grunted in your mouth, parting so he could flash you a grin.

“Don’t I get to call the shots tonight?” you teased, sliding your hands up his torso.

Jeonghan snickered. “Not really,” he lifted his arms as you slipped the white hoodie off him, discarding it on the floor without much thought.

“But you’re letting me undress you,” you mused, receiving his face with your hands as he gave you another long, passionate kiss, lips smooching against each other as you hummed.

His hand found the zipper of your hoodie now, sliding it downwards. “Because you’re letting me undress you.”

You silently watched him as he slowly discovered that you wore nothing beneath that hoodie. He had suspected it when he arrived at your apartment but finding it out was even more exciting. “No bra?” he smirked when you just nodded with a sheepish grin. “Is this the same case for your panties too?” he nodded at your short pajamas.

“No, Hannie,” you giggled at his question. The sound bubbly and full of joy.

His ears perked up at this. “Are you nervous?”

“Of course I am,” you cooed, brushing a rebellious strand of hair that tangled with his long eyelashes.

“Don’t be,” he muttered. “I’ll tell you what to do.”

“I want you to like it, Hannie,” you explained, your smile fading slowly as you gave in fully to the reason of your uncertainty.

“Don’t worry, I’ll like it,” he pressed his lips in a reassuring smile.

“Because you like me?” you quipped, referring back to what he had said about Joshua.

“Ah, but this is different,” he coughed up a chuckle. “You’re the one who’s going to, how did you put it?” he tilted his head with a dramatic pause. “Fuck me?”

That made the giggle return, brightening your face. “Hannie!” you said, pushing his shoulder a little.

“You will do all the work, I’m just going to tell you how,” he shrugged slightly, given that his arm was still pressed on the couch, propping his weight.

Your smile faded once again, your eyes getting lost in the features of his beautiful face.

“What?” he noticed. “Are you starting to regret this, baby?”

“No, no,” you choked out. “I’m just—I wanna do this now,” you nodded.

“Slow down, princess,” he reminded you with a soft tone, leaning his face so he could meet your lips with his. “There’s no need to rush.”

“But I want to make you feel good,” you whispered shakily in between kisses. “Please.”

He let a soft breath through his nose. The pressure wrapping his heart was overwhelming him. “Okay,” he conceded, though it had not taken too much insisting.

You both moved on the couch, so he was now the one lying down, with you sitting on top of him. His hands reached out to grab the sides of your zip hoodie, tugging the sleeves clumsily to get them off you. You backed up, helping him take your hoodie off and dropped it on top of Jeonghan’s.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” he gasped, grabbing you by your waist as you leaned over to litter his face and neck with kisses.

“Thank you, Hannie,” you mumbled with a sigh, his hands were sliding up the line of your back, causing you to shiver. “You-you’re beautiful too.”

Jeonghan giggled. “Thanks, babe.”

You were creating a trail of kisses, starting first with his neck. He had a prominent Adam’s apple, which you kissed and adorned with a small hickey. Jeonghan tensed as you suckled on his skin, closing his eyes, and letting his mouth part.

You had never really marked him before, not because you had not wanted to, but because he would not let you. It was a game of his: not letting you touch him or pull his hair during sex, that also included hickeys.

But he was a different man now. Fully committed to you. It may be silly, but to you it seemed fair.

“Baby,” he breathed languidly, focusing on your lips on his skin only. He felt himself start to grow harder under his sweats.

“Mn?” you darted a look at him, only to find him peacefully enjoying your mouth on him.

“Keep going,” he muttered.

You smiled at him, which he did not see. But you lowered your head again, raking his chest with your fingernails as you suckled a lovebite on one of his collarbones.

It was as if the roles were reversed. You were usually the one pleading him to keep going, to go harder or faster. But in reality, you were still waiting for his command, following it with no second thought.

Slowly, you had created a small trail of red spots that led below his belly button, where he was strangely sensitive as your fingertips grazed his skin before slipping them beneath the elastic band of his boxers.

“Shit,” he whispered as you delivered another red mark on the soft hairs of his happy trail.

“You’re a bit sensitive down here, aren’t you?” you teased with a small grin.

“Shut up,” he groaned, opening his eyes to find you straightening up to tug his sweats boxers down.

You laughed at his annoyance as he pushed his hips up, letting you tug his navy-blue boxers and black sweats down, discarding his warm clothes on the floor.

You got to work at once, sitting on your knees between his legs. “Can I suck you off, Hannie?”

It was a question that he did not need to reply to. As your hand circled his shaft, he nodded, swallowing hard as you pumped him a few times, getting the tip to swell and redden with arousal rushing fast to it.

“Yeah, please do,” he murmured faintly, tipping his head back on the cushion as you pressed a kiss on his pretty cockhead.

“Hmm,” you breathed, wrapping your mouth around it, tasting the salty precum leaking from the slit. “Have I ever told you that I think your cock is pretty?”

Jeonghan started chuckling, chest vibrating with the sound of it. “That was the first thing you said when you looked at it, baby,” he remarked, reminiscing of the first night you saw him naked.

“Mn, I think it’s pretty,” you nodded aloofly, pumping him on his base as you leaned your head to take him back into your mouth.

“All yours,” he whispered, parting his lips in pleasure as you bobbed your head on him, sliding your mouth on his cock. “God, you’re so good at this.”

All he heard was a muffled laugh. His hands grabbed your hair, eyes shut tightly as you continued to give him head him eagerly, slurping sounds coming from your mouth as you sucked him off as if your life depended on it. Your tongue swirled around his cockhead, sucking his length every time you pulled your head up.

“Fuck, fuck,” he gritted, seeing stars. “Baby, stop—stop. I don’t wanna come so soon.”

You pulled out of his cock a second after his rushed pleas came out of his mouth, looking at him wide eyed as he breathed hard. His fingers slipped off your hair, hands falling on his sides languidly as he eyed you meekly.

“All good?” you whispered.

He nodded with his head on the large cushion. “Yeah,” his mouth slowly stretched in a smile. “All good.”

You leaned over his body when his hand reached out to grab you, cupping your cheek as you met his lips with your own. You moaned into the kiss when his tongue swiftly swiped a line on your lower lip, finding your tongue with a moan on his part.

“Are you wet, baby?” he asked, his voice thickened with arousal.

“Don’t you want to find that out?” you smirked playfully at him.

“Tsk,” he tutted. “You’re bratty today.”

But you giggled in triumph when his hand sneaked down your lower tummy, past the band of your pajama shorts and panties to cup your pussy, feeling the warmth and wetness pooling in there.

“Princess, you’re soaked,” he gasped, feeling your panties damp against the back of his fingers. “Do you enjoy sucking me off that much?”

You stole a kiss nodding at him, a moan escaping between your lips when he dipped a finger inside your entrance, followed by another.

“Mm, baby, I want to feel you right now,” he purred in your mouth, pumping his fingers in and out, but doing it teasingly, knowing that it would get you nowhere near your climax.

“Oh, y-yes, Hannie,” you curled up against him, pushing your hips towards his hand, trying to get him to reach the spot in your walls you liked him to finger so much. You pushed your pajama shorts down to your knees, tugging your panties down as well in eagerness.

Jeonghan smiled, seeing that you were so distracted by your newfound pleasure that you forgot what the plan was initially. “So you don’t want to fuck me anymore?” he teased playfully, conscious of the word choice he was using.

Your eyes fluttered open, a light frown appearing on your face. “No—I still want to.”

You clumsily stepped out of your pajama shorts and your ruined panties, discarding them also with the rest of the clothes on the floor. Now, you were both fully unclothed and ready for each other.

Your cheeks were painted with heat, lips glossy and puckered as you sneaked a kiss on Jeonghan’s lips. “Tell me what to do?” you muttered, your tone quivering but still managing to sound cute to his ears.

“Relax,” he instructed first, squeezing your hip fondly. “Grab the bottle of lube, Princess,” he told you softly, and you reached back for the bottle of lube that you almost forgot on the coffee table, taking the freedom to also grab the toy sitting beside it.

Jeonghan pushed one knee up, the sole of his foot still planted on the couch as you scooted closer between his legs. “Remember how we do this, baby?” he called, making you yank your gaze from his naked body splayed on the couch and found his eyes.

It took you a second to understand what he was implying. You gulped hard, nodding quietly as the memory of Joshua fucking your ass flashed through your mind. Or the times when Jeonghan fucked you from behind, his fingers playing with your puckered hole, while shoving his cock in your pussy.

The bottle of lube emitted a soft clicking noise when you opened it. Reminding yourself to breathe, you spread the cold lube on the pads of your fingers, trying to rub them together as you leaned over towards Jeonghan. You kissed him softly at first, his hands roaming all over your body made you moan into his mouth, deepening the kiss.

Your fingers trailed down, heart beating faster inside you when Jeonghan adjusted his hips for you, making it easier to find the path down his shaft. A shudder ran down your spine when you sneaked a look down his body, finding out how hard his cock was, precum leaking out of the tip and falling on his skin.

Beneath your nervousness, you found a reason to smile at him. “Have I ever told you that I think you have a cute ass?”

“I would remember something like that,” he giggled, his perfect set of teeth.

You leaned down, pressing a kiss on his teeth. “You have a cute ass, Jeonghan,” you mumbled.

“It’s funny because I don’t have any,” he mumbled, groaning quietly when your fingers make their way down the shaft of his cock, grazing his ball sack with the back of your fingers. “Joshua has a cuter ass. It’s rounder than mine.”

You laughed at his statement, uttered in a rush. “How do you know?” you retorted. The pads of your fingers pushed down on his puckered hole, gently at first, tentative.

A small grunt escaped his lips, his body tensing slightly on the couch. “It’s okay, keep going,” he put in gently, closing his eyes briefly. “It’s just cold,” he smiled shyly. “Oh, I know,” he sent his gaze to the ceiling. “Shua use to let me use it as a stress ball sometimes.”

“Really?” you mumbled, outlining his features with your gaze. Enjoying the dazed look in his eyes. “What changed?” you asked, pressing kisses on his lips as you pushed your finger in, feeling his muscles relax and contract around you.

“Well, you came along. And here we are now.”

“Here we are,” you grinned, pushing the tip of your finger further in. “Hannie?”

“Don’t worry, baby. You’re good,” he showed you a smile.

That emboldened you to keep going.

“You can use two now,” he mumbled, grabbing you by your hip, clenching your skin softly.

You recalled all those times Joshua used his fingers to prep you, a wave of arousal coursing through your body when you saw Jeonghan swallow a moan, when your lubed fingers went further in a bit, spreading him open gently. You remembered how it felt like, and you felt like moaning too.

“More,” he rasped, closing his eyes, a soft sigh brushing your lips.

Your body grew tense with excitement when you saw him bite his lower lip. His hand shifted on your hip, finding your tits to knead, his thumbs brushing your nipples, swirling the pads around them, getting them hard.

“Hannie,” you mewled, shuddering against his touch. Your skin prickled, he fiddled your nipples between his pointer and middle fingers, palming your breasts with a low hum from his part.

“Use the toy now,” he instructed, giving you a slight nod with his head in reassurance.

You bristled with anticipation, sitting back on your heels to grab the toy with one hand and the bottle of lube with the other. “Should I put it on first?” you asked innocently, looking at the double ended toy that allows you to feel pleasure as well.

“If you want to, baby,” he said.

You decided to do something before putting it on yourself. Smearing some lube on your hand, you lubed the dildo up, sneaking a look at your boyfriend as he noticed your shaking fingers.

“Relax, baby,” he reminded you. “I’m going to like it.”

Jeonghan tilted his hips for you, sucking in a breath when you used your lubed fingers to spread him open. His own hand coming in to help you as you pressed the tip of the dildo against his puckered hole.

Glancing up his face and down his body, you continued to push in, slowly, shallowly thrusting the toy as his mouth fell open, his eyelids fluttering as he closed them with a small sigh. You retracted the toy using more lube with your fingers to thrust another inch in, slowly.

“Fuck, baby,” he chocked out his hand snapping to grab your wrist. His eyes were blown wide with lust. “Put it on, now,” he commanded.

You nodded silently, pulling out the toy gently as he reached out to grab the remote controller from the coffee table. “Wait, Hannie, are you sure?” you asked, the toy flashing a single led light, ready to be used.

“Yeah,” he replied shortly. “I need you to feel it too.”

The end that you were using was a smaller vibrator that attached itself to the dildo with a magnet, that way you did not have to use a harness and were able to feel pleasure too. Jeonghan took the vibrator from you, realizing that he also had spread lube on his fingers and pushed himself from the cushions of the couch to press the pads of his fingers against your pussy.

“Hannie!” you flinched, surprised that in seconds he had moved that fast.

“I need you right now,” he explained with a gruffy edge on his tone, his fingers rubbing lube on your messy cunt.

“F-fuck, I’m sorry,” you squirmed, as he sent you a look before nudging the tip of the smaller vibrator on your entrance.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, pushing in the vibrator inside you. It was bulbous but designed to lodge itself inside your walls. “Ready?”

“Y-yeah,” you nodded nervously, leaning your body over as he lied down again. You bit your lower lip, nudging the tip of the larger vibrator against his hole, feeling emboldened by the reassuring look he sent you.

“God, fuck,” Jeonghan gasped, his body tensing on the couch as you inserted the vibrator by pushing your hips towards his, thrusting shallowly, and clumsily. “Fuck, k-keep going, baby.”

Jeonghan took one big gulp of air, and you mimicked the action unknowingly right before you retracted your hips, a hand flying to hold onto his thigh as you met his hips with your own, penetrating him fully.

“God, princess,” he groaned languidly, jaws tightly clenching together as his face contracted in pleasure.

“You okay?” you mumbled, eyeing his finger on the remote.

“Yes, baby,” he smiled, finding your worry endearing.

“I just—fuck, Jeonghan!” you screamed at him when the vibrator inside you came to life, sending strong pulsations on your walls, on that glorious spot it was lodged in. “Warn me next time!”

“There she is,” he muttered, biting the tip of his tongue as he too relished at the feeling of the vibrations running inside him. He patted your hip with one hand. “Move, baby, I need you.”

Your other hand found his hip, as you retreated yours to meet right back in, swaying them gently, pushing the vibrator to massage him slowly at first. You moaned, feeling the toy work its miracle inside you as it was inside him.

But his face was a complete mirage, he was biting his lower lip, his half-lidded eyes on you the whole time as you thrusted your hips against him. It was hard to find a pace you could keep, you felt stiff and clumsy. But once Jeonghan’s mouth parted, giving way a series of sweet moans, you found your goal to elicit more sounds from him.

Your hands found his thigh, wordlessly motioning to lift it, pressing it against his chest. Another raunchy moan came out of his lips as you moved your hips on him faster, making him grab your ass to follow the motion of your thrusts.

“Fuck, baby,” he groaned lewdly, his voice thick with arousal. “Princess, touch me, please.”

You frowned before you sent a look down his body. Your fingers circled his hard cock, pumping him at the same pace your hips were meeting his. His moans became louder, harder to control as he shut his eyes tightly. “Right there, baby,” he rasped, his eyes teary.

“Oh, Hannie,” you moaned, hips rutting against him desperately, the vibrator pulsating inside you harder every time you hit your hips clashed with his. His face, riddled with pleasure made it impossible for you to hold it any longer.

“God, baby,” he gasped, his eyebrows drawn in. “I’m g-gonna come,” he whispered, closing his eyes for a long second.

And then he started making the sweetest, rawest sounds you have ever heard in your life, his lower lip was trapped behind his teeth, moans coiling in his throat as you fucked him through his high. Ropes of cum spurted from his tip, landing on his tummy, and just kept leaking, eliciting a moan from you.

You looked at your fist, the back of your fingers coated with Jeonghan’s cum. “Baby,” you gasped, realizing that he was still heaving. “Okay?”

Jeonghan chuckled lazily. “Princess, I swear,” he drawled. “That was amazing,” he said with a long sigh.

You giggled cutely at his face, relaxed with the aftershocks of his orgasm. “Let me go get something to clean you up,” you muttered, using your hand on his hip for support as you retracted your hips back.

He moaned, shuddering when you carefully pulled out the toy from him. “Thank you, baby,” he whispered, resting his head back on the cushions.

The living room was even quieter when you returned, thinking that Jeonghan might have fallen asleep as you went to the bathroom to wash your hands and to get wet hand towel.

But no, his head turned to follow your movements with his gaze, he had been waiting for you starting at the ceiling.

You decided to straddle him, sitting on his thighs comfortably to wipe the cum from his tummy with gentle motions. “So,” you started, a smile playing on your lips. “You’ve grabbed Joshua’s ass?”

Jeonghan let out a breathy chuckle, the corners of his eyes wrinkling. “Ah, I should’ve known you wouldn’t let that go.”

“Answer my question,” you quipped.

“Yeah, I have. Why is that important?” he rumbled, sending a look to the camera that was still rolling.

You followed his gaze, finding the blinking red light of the device. “What, you don’t want this recorded?” he gave you a look. “Why? You could always cut it out,” you shrugged.

“It’s going to be a bitch to edit,” he sighed heavily. “You know what, fuck it. Yes, I used to have a crush on him.”

The shock upon hearing that was like nothing else. “Used to?” you raised your eyebrows.

“Long ago, baby,” he rolled his eyes. “Like waaaay before he met you.”

“Does Joshua know?” you asked at once, heartbeat stammering hard and fast against your chest.

“Does he…” he repeated, dumbfounded. His frown eased. “Of course he knows, baby. I told him. Besides, he already suspected it when we talked about it.”

“He did?” you gaped at him. “Well, you were either too open about it or he was exceptionally good at noticing.”

“Yeah, okay, it wasn’t just a crush,” he rolled his eyes, chuckling dryly with an awkward air surrounding him as he caressed your thighs. “I liked him quite a lot. It was embarrassing.”

“Why embarrassing?” you giggled sweetly. “Hannie, why did you never tell me this?”

“For obvious reasons,” he replied. “It happened long ago, baby. It doesn’t even matter now.”

Bewildered, you huffed. To think that Jeonghan has had feelings for you and Joshua was something that would take you a little bit of time to digest.

“So what happened?” you pried even more. “When you talked about it, how did Joshua react?”

Jeonghan pouted, humming in thought. “It’s simpler than you think, baby. I trust him, and he trusts me. I told him that I liked him, he told me nothing would happen between us. So I put a stop to what I felt, and never risked losing him as a friend again…”

Until you came along, the words were not said, but they echoed between you and him.

“You put a stop to what you felt?” you echoed confusedly.

“I did. I forgot about it eventually. If you’re thinking that I still have feelings for him, I don’t,” he chuckled dryly. “If that wasn’t obvious already…”

“It’s not obvious, Hannie,” you retorted. “I mean, you’ve had sex with him–I mean, not with him, but with me while he’s there too. That doesn’t make you think that you might still have a crush on him?”

“No,” he replied at once. “That happened long ago, and it was for a brief time, baby.”

“I’m just curious,” you shrugged, shyly looking at him. “You know? You’re in a relationship with me and him, in a way…”

“Yeah, I know how it looks. And yes, it is weird at times, but he’s still my best friend,” he brushed the back of his finger down your cheek. “I love you, and I’m happy being with you.”

You smiled, leaning to press a sweet kiss on his lips. “I love you too, Hannie.”

“So what’s next?” he asked, his tone was still languid. “What’s next on the list?”

“Do you want more, Hannie?” you asked, teasingly.

There was no list. But when you mentioned to him you wanted to try out new things, Jeonghan wasted no time and got to work.

“Not right now,” he sighed a smile. “But I wanna know what you would like to do next.”

“Mmn, we tried pegging, car sex—”

“How come you’ve had anal sex with me, but I haven’t had anal with you?” he blurted, knowing what the bold wording would do to you.

“Hannie!” you squealed, scandalized.

“It’s just a question!” he coughed out a silly giggle.

“We could try that next,” you shrugged.

“Mm, but we could do that later,” he said, stroking one of your arms languidly. “I want to do the crazy shit. Ever had sex in a pool?”

“No, Hannie,” you giggled. “I don’t think that’s sanitary.”

“Maybe just a little fondling,” he shrugged with one shoulder.

You rolled your eyes dismissively. “Mmn,” you drew out your hum this time. “I want to do it in an open space some day,” you mumbled.

“Like in a beach, or something?” he mused.

“No–not a beach. I don’t like sand sticking to my skin,” you shuddered.

Jeonghan found that cute, and his smile made tiny dimples show on his chin. “Then where, baby? We could go camping.”

“I’d like that,” you whispered, lost in his sweet eyes. “With Josh too.”

“Of course, princess,” he conceded, wanting nothing else but to make you happy. “Now, could you stop the recording, please?” he chuckled again. “I really don’t want to cut out more footage.”

“Okay, okay,” you huffed, moving to reach out for the button to stop the recording, thinking of what Joshua’s reaction would be if he heard the conversation you just had with Jeonghan.

Joshua stood alone in the balcony of his hotel room, sitting on a dusty chair. Biting the tip of his thumb, he waited on the line for you to pick up the call.

“Hi beautiful,” he mumbled, starting to fidget with a loose thread of his sweats.

“Hi handsome!” you chirped right away.

“How are you, baby?” he sighed, heart, stammering uncontrollably in his chest.

“I’m good, I was working on my draft,” you replied, and he could tell by your tone alone that you were in a good mood.

He closed his eyes briefly. He could not do this to you.

“That sounds good,” he replied. “Hey–”

“How are you, Josh?” you asked.

“I’m fine, baby. Just tired,” he croaked.

“You sound tired,” you pointed.

“Yeah, I just got to the room. I’ve had a ton of work these past few days. And tomorrow a show, and can’t sleep right,” he grumbled.

“Why don’t you try?” you asked, sighing a smile. “I know, I’m the one to talk, but you usually don’t have issues sleeping.”

“Yeah it’s just that… I want to talk to you about something,” he drew in a breath, thinking of how to go over the thing that haunted his mind.

“Sure, what do you want to talk about?” you waited as he gathered his thoughts, then: “Is this about the video?” you asked promptly.

“You—do you know about that?” he let go of a huge exhale. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“Because it doesn’t matter, Josh,” you replied. “I just want to know that you’re alright.”

“A-are you—what do you mean it doesn’t matter?” he frowned.

“Nobody knows it’s me, right?” you mused. “Aside from the people who know that is me in the photos, nobody knows.”

“But they’re saying awful things about you,” he mumbled, brimming with remorse.

“I haven’t seen any,” you replied, and he knew by your tone that you shrugged. “Even if I did, I don’t care, Josh,” you insisted. “The only thing I care about is you.”

“I… I am not doing okay,” the confession made a knot in his throat. “You know I didn’t want anything like this to happen.”

There was a pause. Joshua felt his own heart beating in his throat.

“Babe, we both knew this would happen. At least I was aware of that when I started dating a popular rock singer,” you giggled sweetly. “That’s why I don’t let it affect me.”

“But what about…”

“My career?” you sighed heavily. “I don’t know yet, nothing has changed so I won’t worry about it.”

Joshua lied perplexed at your nonchalance. “Okay…”

“Do you feel better now?” you asked, your tone sugary and warm. “I don’t want you to stress over things you can’t control,” you reminded him.

“You’re right,” he mumbled, bringing his other hand to cover his face. “I’m sorry. I just…”

“There is nothing to forgive here,” you replied. “I love you, I wouldn’t get mad at you for something like this.”

“I love you too, bunny,” he replied. And even though your words did alleviate part of the turbulence in his heart, there was one thing that remained, one thing he needed to talk to you about.

But he could push it down. For now.

Joshua went back inside, closing the door to the balcony and drew the blinds down. Throwing himself to the hard bed of the hotel room, he ignored the busy noise from the streets outside the window.

The lights were off, so he thought of trying to sleep. It was early, so that could give him ample time to try to fall asleep. He closed his eyes, slowing down his breathing. The buzzing noise from outside, and the normal hotel room sounds were distracting. That and the cold, firmness of the mattress.

What he would give to sleep next to you, he thought. To be wrapped by your warmth, to hear those sweets sounds you make, to feel your body pressed against his.

He sighed heavily. The screen of his phone lit up, and that was reason enough to give up trying.

The notification was from Jeonghan. It was another video. This one was longer than any of those he already had uploaded to the shared private folder.

From the thumbnail, Joshua got a sudden rush of excitement. A distraction for the night. It was as if Jeonghan knew what Joshua needed.

The video was one of the most daring that you have sent him so far. Between car sex, public sex and such, this one was where he could see just how far Jeonghan could take you. You were on top of Jeonghan, pleasuring him with a toy.

Joshua saw in your face how entranced you were in the moment, pushing the toy in and out of him, smiling softly whenever Jeonghan moaned raunchily. Then, when you inserted the other end of the toy inside you, and started moving your hips on him, Joshua could not resist himself any longer.

He begun toying with his own dick, looking at Jeonghan’s dripping with precum. His hands on your ass, guiding your thrusts inside him. You pushed one of his thighs to his chest, picking the pacing of your hips against his.

A moan bubbled in Joshua’s chest, shuddering with overwhelming pleasure as you begun stroking Jeonghan’s cock, continuing to push the toy inside him, making the man moan obscenely.

For a moment, Joshua was not sure why he felt this aroused. Was it because of how you were fucking Jeonghan? Was it because he wanted to be in Jeonghan’s place? Or was it because he wanted to be in your place?

The thoughts swam in his mind, but he knew he had been holding them for a while now. However, he ignored tried pushing them away, tucking his hand beneath his sweats and boxers, pulling out his cock to alleviate the pressure building up.

He released a sigh between his teeth, caressing his hard cock. He watched your hips moving on him, Jeonghan’s face riddled with pleasure, your hand stroking him at the same pace of your thrusts.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Joshua gritted.

“God, baby… I’m g-gonna come,” Jeonghan gasped lewdly, letting out a long, raspy groan.

You were moaning with Jeonghan, both looking at each other as you came apart in the couch. The sight was so alluring, so lewd that Joshua felt like moaning with you and Jeonghan, knowing that there was no turning back from this.

He pumped himself faster, the wet sounds created by his own hand on his cock complimented the sounds from your skin slapping against Jeonghan’s, your hand on his cock, your moans, Jeonghan’s moans. Ropes of cum spurted from him at the same time Jeonghan came in the video, driving that confusion deeper inside his brain.

Panting, Joshua stared at the screen, replaying the video, trying to figure out why he felt that blow to his heart.

Was it jealousy? What was it?

Joshua stared at the lights hanging from the ceiling. The brick walls surrounding him were adorned with provocative art, there was a drum set to his left, his guitar sitting in front of him in a stand.

The studio was owned by one of his friends. When Midnight Haze made a stop in the city, Min Yoongi was the first to call them, offering to talk about music while having some drinks. While the other guys went out to buy booze, Joshua fell behind, deciding to rest in the meantime.

He was splayed on a sofa. Cadaver style, hands clasped on his chest.

Well, he felt like dying indeed. That is how bad his anxiety got. Dangerous thoughts swam in his mind, but he blew them away with a sigh.

It had gone dark. The studio was littered with the remnants of the booze the guys had. Vernon decided to call it a night, drunkenly heading back to his hotel room. Jihoon and Yoongi were on the rooftop having a smoke.

Kim Taehyung gathered his long wavy hair with his hands, brushing it back and messily, grabbing the band he trapped with his teeth and securing his hair in half a ponytail. He had started touring with his band Green Nocturne, opening for Midnight Haze for the upcoming shows.

Searching his side, he found his phone between the cushions of the smelly couch and unlocked it, finding the folder with the series of videos of you and Jeonghan, and videos of himself.

He quickly closed the app, heart jolting nervously in his chest.

“So, what do you want to do?” he released a sigh, crossing his arms on his chest.

Joshua raised his eyebrows in question. “I thought you were showing me some lyrics?”

“Ah, yeah, pfff, right,” he replied, humming as he searched for something, patting the pockets of his jeans, and then looking around.

Joshua moved from the old couch to sit on one corner of a large table, grabbing his tablet where he wrote lyrics or notes for his music.

“Where is that fucking thing,” Taehyung mumbled under his breath. “I swear if I lost it again…”

“This is the one I was telling you about,” Joshua pushed the tablet across the table to the side where Taehyung was standing.

The man stopped his search for his phone and took one look at the screen. “Oh, is this it?” he sent a glance and then read the screen, his fingers grazing the pages where Joshua poured a little bit of his heart.

He nodded a thing that Taehyung did not see.

“Dude, why are you getting rid of these?” Taehyung frowned, his eyes meeting Joshua’s. “These are good! I can even imagine a sound to these. A Midnight Haze sound, not my sound.”

Joshua shook his head slowly. “They’re too specific.”

“Is this because of that viral video?” Taehyung’s gaze softened with shame. “Yeah, I saw it,” he explained before Joshua could even ask. “Don’t even worry about it. It’s fucking bullshit, man.”

“It’s true.”

The man paused, eyes flickering on Joshua’s features.

“It’s true, everything they said about me,” Joshua was rigid with rage, but he tried not to let it show in his eyes. “You even saw it, man. The night of the party.”

“I saw nothing,” Taehyung shrugged with ease. “What I saw was two people having fun, loving each other. It is none of my business.”

Joshua knew that Taehyung had seen you hand in hand with Jeonghan, and he also saw you exchange a steamy moment in a secluded hallway. Joshua let out a sigh. “I appreciate that, but that’s why I can’t use these,” he pointed at the screen with the tip of his nose. “I can’t have more online theories about her.”

Taehyung let out a thinking sound. “I don’t want to take something so close to you, man,” he smiled shyly. “You shouldn’t be afraid of using them.”

That felt like a needle piercing his heart. “I can’t,” the feeling made his voice quiver, reducing it to a whisper. He had to protect you. And Jeonghan.

“Can I ask?” Taehyung sat on the corner of the table too, so now they were both facing each other.

“Sure,” he shrugged. He trusted Taehyung, and right now, he needed a friend who was closer to his career and his personal life.

“Are you guys… is she really your ex?” he asked, the tip of his tongue pushing his lower lip from the inside.

“No,” he shook his head, the question sent an inevitable shudder through him.

“Is she his girlfriend? Jeonghan’s?” he asked slowly, but the look on his face told Joshua that he was getting a broader idea of where this was going.

“We’re in a polycule,” he explained, trying to come off as nonchalant as he could, but in reality, he still struggled to be open with something that was so precious to him. “I don’t want to make it public, so.”

“Ah,” he mouthed, nodding his head. “Yeah, I get it.”

“Can I ask, then?” Joshua returned, cautiously sending him a knowing look.

“Ask away.”

“How did you manage it?” he rolled his eyes, searching for words. “Your relationship with Baek?”

“Well, it was easy because everyone wanted to pair me with every woman I even so glanced at,” Taehyung huffed with slight annoyance. “So the world resorted to making me a womanizer and Baekhyun was just my best friend, you know.”

Joshua nodded in silence, even if that answered his question, he still felt like there was something missing.

“But then Jimin came along, and everything started getting messy,” Taehyung added, much as if he realized that there was something unanswered lingering in the air. “It sort of died down when I started dating Mimi. But I guess that didn’t stick either.”

Even though there was not much to correlate that situation to his own, Joshua felt some sense of semblance. Having a humane conversation with someone who understood what distress comes with this kind of life brought a soothing hug to his heart.

“Is it fun at least? Being in a poly,” Taehyung smiled slightly as he asked.

“Fun?” Joshua uttered, as though the word were foreign to him. “Yeah, I mean, he’s my best friend and I love her. So.”

“What do you mean?” he cocked one eyebrow. “Oh, you mean you’re only with her and not Jeonghan as well?”

“Yeah, that’s what I mean.”

“I assumed because of Jeonghan…” now he looked even more intrigued. “So you’re not bi as well?”

Even though the questions were heavily personal, Joshua did not feel uncomfortable. “Nope,” he frowned. “Well…”

There was a silence. Kim Taehyung waited, looking at Joshua as he gathered his thoughts with his heart strumming hard in his chest. To finally voice his thoughts about this aloud was panic-inducing for him, but for some reason, he was sure he could trust Taehyung.

“I don’t know,” Joshua let out finally, panic hugging his heart tightly. “It’s weird. Because there is no one else I’d rather share my partner with but him. I think I would have gone crazy if Bunny told me she had feelings for a different person. But when she told me about Jeonghan… I understood. Like it was meant to be.”

For a moment, it felt as though he were alone in the room, letting his deepest thoughts come out without any remorse, nor fear that he would be judged. That was the moment he knew.

“But I did feel jealousy. Part of me was certain that it was because I could not tolerate that Bunny had feelings for another man,” Joshua’s gaze swam upwards, finding the smoke-yellowed ceiling. “But I know now that my jealousy also came from the way that Jeonghan dropped everything to be with her. He was willing to lose our friendship for her, he cared about her, loved her, and… I was jealous of that.”

“But—,” Taehyung shook his head ever so slightly, much as if he were discarding a thought. “Sorry. I just need to ask, are you jealous that he’s paying attention to her… do you want that attention for yourself?”

Joshua found the strength to nod his head. “I think that it was when Jeonghan started to fall in love for her when I begun to wonder. What if…” he paused, his courage dying down for a minute. But he pushed himself: “What if I also want to receive the same love and attention that he gives her? Why do I want that?”

Taehyung showed him a wide smile. “Why don’t you try and talk to him about it? You know, go for it,” he offered his solution.

“He’s my best friend. What if it doesn’t go the way I want it to?” he shrugged in a defeated way. “I don’t want to make things even more awkward.”

The man huffed with genuine disbelief. “But you said it!” he giggled. “He is your best friend. I am pretty sure that he will understand.”

“What if he doesn’t?” Joshua insisted, his head tilting to one side.

“You never know if you never try,” his friend replied, a winning grin spreading on his lips.

“True,” Joshua conceded.

“Do you think she’ll understand?” Taehyung asked cautiously.

Joshua remembered the day you told both him and Jeonghan that you would be okay if things went that road. “Yeah. Of course. She’d have no problem with it.”

Now it was just a matter of his indecision.

“Then just try,” his friend nodded at him in encouragement.

He did not want to lose what he had with you and Jeonghan. He did not want things to take a turn for the worse.

You were sitting down on the couch, reading a book while sipping on a hot cup of tea.

The room was lit with a warm light coming from the lamp standing beside the couch, vibrant in color and soft tones of jazz coming from the flat screen. The whole apartment smelled of detergent and fabric softener, and the hum emitted by the dryer sounded far in the background.

You sighed, turning a page over, and continued reading. You had been immersed in this book for a while, every now and then you would express it on your face, pouting, eyes widening, or even gasping sometimes.

That was Joshua’s entertainment sometimes. He would sit on the armchair across from you and pretend to play some chords on his guitar, but in reality, all he did was watch you. Study the way your eyes would fly through the lines written on the pages.

But this time around, you noticed. “Are you okay, babe?” you asked, lifting your gaze from the book as you took one sip from your tea.

“Just watching you, Ms. Hong,” he mumbled with a soft smile.

“I know,” you smiled knowingly. “I noticed, Mr. Hong.”

“I’m fine, baby,” he gave you a slow blink.

In his head, Joshua was cluttered with thoughts of the future. He wished he got the chance to meet you earlier in his life before he made the decision to give himself into his plans of being a musician.

The nagging urge to quit everything and just continue to have this quiet life with you haunted him. Sometimes the impulse overtook him, sending a rush of anxiety through his veins, much as if he needed to stand up and run away from something. He knew what it was, it was time coming to an end.

Granted, he never really felt like this was his life. He settled in with you, but this still felt like it was your apartment. It was your couch, your flatscreen. He just brought in his clothes and his guitar.

He felt like a guest in someone else’s life. Like this was life’s way to mock him. A what if in which Joshua Hong never dedicated his life to making music. This is what would have become of him. He would have been with you freely and loving you aloud.

Who knows, maybe he would have given you a ring already. Maybe he would have asked you to join him in an adventure together for the rest of your lives, far away from the spotlight.

You rose to your feet, leaving your book behind and approached him with a determination that he loved to see in you. He lifted his gaze to your eyes as you stood before him.

Carefully, you took his acoustic guitar from his grasp, placing it on the couch and turned to him. Joshua looked at you expectantly, knowing what would come next. He just opened his arms, embracing you as you sat on his lap.

“What is going on inside that head of yours?” you asked, eyeing him with curiosity as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“You,” he breathed, heart beating faster in his chest.

That made you smile. “I’m here, Josh,” you giggled.

He brought a finger to your face, touching the tip of your nose affectionately. “I’m just thinking that you’re cute,” he scrunched his nose, smiling.

“Thank you, baby,” you replied, batting your eyelashes as you looked at his eyes, then his lips. “You are cute too.”

In the distance, the dryer went off with a short tune, signaling that the clothes were dry and ready to unload. The sound drove your eyes elsewhere, and you made a motion to stand up from his lap.

“No, no,” he whispered. “Don’t go anywhere.”

“I’ll just take a minute, Josh,” you said, giggling at him cutely when his arms pulled you closer to him. “Clingy,” you whispered, using your finger to touch the tip of his nose.

Joshua Hong opened his eyes, groaning with exhaustion against the hard pillows of the hotel bed. A dull pain wrapped around his heart, hurting even more with each second that passed and he slowly came to grips with reality.

He turned over, face down on the mattress, pushing his face against the pillows to feel something else other than the loneliness gripping him. He hugged himself, trying not to cry at the memory of you still clinging to his mind, seeing your face in his dreams, hearing your voice, he felt you in his dreams. It felt too real.

It was not a dream entirely, that did happen sometime before he left on tour. That day, he was thinking of quitting the band, quitting that life altogether so that he could start a life with you. The anxiety he felt for leaving you and his quiet life with you was eating him whole, just like it was now.

It was still early; he could just quit. They could find another singer, another person to fill in his shoes. Hell, maybe that person would be more fitting for Midnight Haze and would do a more decent job than him. Maybe that person will be happier in his place.

The pressure burst in his chest, like a punch in his gut, robbing him of air in an instant. Joshua pushed himself from the mattress, drawing in a big gulp of air, then another, then another.

The veins of his forearms begun to flare, arms shaking on the neat bed sheets, losing strength to prop his body up. His vision turned blurry, a loud buzzing sound blocking his eardrums, the only thing letting him know he was a live was the hard thumping of his heart against his ribcage.

He managed to turn over, gripping his chest with one hand as he tried at calming himself down, trying to slow down his own sharp intakes of breath to slower and deeper ones.

What snapped him out of it was the buzzing of his head dying down at the loud chiming of his phone. It took him some seconds to yank his gaze from the empty void in front of him and he looked at the screen of his phone. Yoon Jeonghan’s photo displaying on it.

“Joshujiiii,” Jeonghan chanted as soon as Joshua picked his call.

Joshua frowned when the sound sent a soothing feeling inside him, calming his heart at once. “He-hey, Hannie,” he croaked.

“Oh, did I just wake you up?” his best friend giggled. “Sorry about that, I can call later.”

“No, no,” he muttered quickly, trying to use the conversation to drive his attention away from his worries. “What’s up?”

“Are you coming over?” he asked, seriousness now lacing his tone.

“When? Tonight?”

“Yep. I know you didn’t say it as a joke,” he said, and by the way he pronounced each syllable, Joshua knew his friend was munching on something.

“I wasn’t being serious when I said it,” Joshua explained with sigh. “Bu-but there is a possibility,” he admitted.

“I knew it,” Jeonghan muttered with some kind of victory. “So? Are you taking a flight here? Then we could go back to where your big show is, all of us.”

“Yeah,” Joshua muttered weakly, bringing a hand to rub the corners of his eyes. “I’d like that.”

“Yeah?” he imagined his friend raising his eyebrows. “Well, I could find a plane ticket for you without Princess finding out. We could make it into a surprise for her.”

A smile crept on his face hearing Jeonghan bringing you up like this. His best friend, his partner in crime who loved you so much it warmed Joshua’s own heart. “Send me prices and everything. I’ll send you my details.”

“Sure,” he chirped. “You know, she will love seeing you. She misses you so bad even I’m starting to miss you too.”

Joshua was no idiot. He knew the reason behind that choice of words. You were worried about him, and even though you would not ask Jeonghan to intervene, this was his way of telling Joshua what was going on in your mind.

“Jeonghan,” he paused. “I’m fine.”

“No, you don’t sound fine,” Jeonghan huffed. “I can hear the snot in your voice. You’ve been crying.”

“Agh, really, Jeonghan. Sometimes I wish you weren’t so fucking tactless,” he groaned, rubbing two pads of his fingers on his brow.

“I’m just telling it how it is,” he imagined his friend shrugging with ease. “I wish you weren’t so fucking emotionally constipated.”

“Yeah, well not everyone can get what they wish,” he muttered with a sharp jab piercing his gut.

“Now you’re being emo, again,” Jeonghan retorted with a low chuckle that died a second before his tone went back to serious. “Seriously, Shuji, is everything okay? Do you want to talk?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Joshua quickly said. “We can talk later.”

“Mmn, okay. I’ll send you the info about the ticket in a bit.”

“I’ll send you my details,” Joshua paused. “Hannie?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, Joshuji,” he replied, seemingly knowing about Joshua’s situation without even being there, just by the sound of his voice. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

You stretched your arms over your head, releasing a long groan as your muscles complained with you after sitting down on your chair for four hours without breaks. Content with your progress, even though it was little, you pushed yourself away from the desk and rose to your feet.

The mug had been left empty, aside from the bag of tea in it. You grabbed it as you made your way out of the office and went to the kitchen. You strode on the floor with your fuzzy socks on, feeling a sense of accomplishment at seeing your recently cleaned apartment.

Jeonghan would get out from work in a couple of hours and come to see you. That was the little routine you both had. You worked the same amount of hours that he did, and when he came home, you would stop typing and spend time with him.

You smiled to yourself. The day you would go visit Joshua drew nearer too, and it made you excited that you were going with Jeonghan too. It felt nice to have a stronger relationship with both of them, and it was also nice to see that they were closer.

As the electric kettle made a bubbly noise boiling the water, you tapped your fingers on the counter. Should I bring dinner for us tonight? Jeonghan’s incoming message snapped you out of your train of thought.

Just come straight here. I want to see your face. Read your message, not caring that you were acting clingy already. Even though you saw each other nearly everyday, you missed him when he was not around.

Alright. I’m on my way, then.

Your tummy twisted in excitement. Already? I thought you were clocking off in two hours. You replied instantly.

The kettle went off with a soft click, exuding a thin column of vapor as you poured the boiling water into one of your favorite mugs. When you finished preparing your tea how you liked it, you turned to your screen, finding no reply from your boyfriend.

Maybe he is just messing with you. Yoon Jeonghan liked to do that.

But then, the smart-lock of the front door beeped, the handle turning, and you knew he was not messing with you. “Babe?” you called as you made your way to the entrance of your apartment.

“Yeah?”

You stopped cold at the sight you found. Joshua closed the door behind him, a sweet smile painting his lips as he took a step towards you. You watched him with your mouth hanging open, heartbeat racing frantically in surprise.

“Hi beautiful,” Joshua muttered, his gaze swimming on the features of your face, noticing that you were in a mild shock. “I’m here, baby.”

“You’re here,” you parroted shakily, eyes brimming with big hot tears. “Oh god. You’re here...”

His strong arms wrapped around you in a hug, quickly sweeping you off your feet. And you clung to his neck, holding onto him as though he were a dream and would go away at any given second.

“Surprise,” he muttered with a tiny voice, and that was when you noticed the slight quiver, the quiet sniffling when he buried his face in the crook of your neck.

“I missed you so much,” you muttered, bringing a hand to feel the back of his head, using your arms still around him to hug him tightly.

“I missed you too,” he muttered, his words muffled by your hair and your clothes, but you noticed even so, that his voice had thickened.

“How are you here? I thought…” you trailed off. Jeonghan.

“I had a little help,” he replied, putting you back to the floor. “We wanted to give you a surprise.”

As you parted, you gaze fell on his features, marked by the weight of his tiredness. The color of his skin faded. The bags under his eyes were visible and darker like never before. But on top of that, the very air about him felt worn out, and on the brink of falling asleep at any given moment.

“Baby…” you whispered, your focus falling on his face, which you cupped with the palms of your hands. “Don’t you want to have a nap? You look exhausted.”

“I’m fine,” he frowned, his eyes shifting from your face to the rest of your body. “I just want to be with you. Jeonghan will be here soon too. We could go get dinner together or have something delivered.”

You knew Joshua well enough to know that he was trying to avoid something, and given the situation with the recent rumours surrounding you. Thinking that it was all too likely, you gave him a smile, grabbing his hand. “Come.”

He sighed but went with you either way. “Baby, I’m fine,” he insisted, and you knew by his tone alone that he was smiling. “I don’t need to sleep.”

“We’re not sleeping,” you turned so that he could see you grinning meaningfully at him.

Joshua giggled. “Ah, okay, okay,” he said, using his hand in yours to pull you closer to his body. “Come here, baby.”

You lead him to the bathroom, where you promptly started a shower, turning to him. “Let me take care of you, okay?” you asked sultrily, batting your eyelashes at him.

Joshua knew that there was more to your intentions with just one look. But his brain was so burned out that he could not figure out what you were planning, so he just nodded with his head, mouthing okay.

“You must be so exhausted, baby,” you sighed, toying with the buttons of his plaid shirt as you undid each one.

In no time, you were sliding the cotton fabric off his shoulders, moving to tug the belt of his black denims free. “I am,” he whispered, closing his eyes for a long pause. “So tired.”

“I’m going to take this off, okay?” you asked when he blindly stepped out of his jeans, feeling your fingers curling around the band of the waist band of his boxers.

“Okay,” he replied mechanically, reaching out to hold onto whatever part of your body he could find.

His hands found the curve of your waist, over the long t-shirt you wore. Thinking that he should reciprocate, his fists grabbed the t-shirt, hiking it up your torso and removing it with one motion.

Seeing you naked for the first time in what felt like ages was surreal to him. Even though he spent most of his nights looking at videos of you, to see you in real life was different. The camera could not capture your beautiful skin, or the beauty marks he loved so much.

“Let’s get you in,” you whispered, noticing the aloof look in his eyes.

“Are you going to shower with me?” he asked dumbly, letting you push him into the shower.

“Of course, silly goose,” you smiled at him sweetly, removing your panties before stepping with him. “I told you I’d take care of you, didn’t I?”

His heart swelled with so much love he was sure it would burst soon. “Yeah, you did,” he replied with a dazed smile, leaning his head to get his hair soaked with the warm stream of water.

“Good boy,” you whispered, grabbing the bottle of shampoo, sinking your fingers in his dark hair to wash it with slow motions.

He closed his eyes, deciding to give himself to you wholly. He was safe now, he was with you.

“I love you,” he shuddered. “I love you so much.”

His hands found your waist again, grabbing you as if to support himself.

“I love you too, baby,” you replied.

He opened his eyes again, afraid this would be another nightmare tormenting him with glimpses of you.

You saw something flash his dark eyes for a second before he eased back into the water when you rinsed his hair. Your hands were on him now, rubbing soap everywhere with ginger touches here and there.

“Hey,” you hummed. You were washing his torso, moving closer to him, his hands gripped your waist a little tighter, pressing your front to him, making you feel the firmness of his growing erection.

“Sorry, I can’t help it,” he let out a shy giggle, lowering his gaze to yours.

“I can,” you mumbled, sneaking a soapy hand between your bodies.

Joshua supressed a shudder when your fingers circled his hard shaft, stroking it idly as you watched him subdue himself to you. “Baby,” he groaned, dropping his forehead on yours. “God, I missed you so much,” he sighed raggedly.

“I missed you too, Josh,” you whispered, pumping him faster, adding more pressure to your grip on his shaft.

He pressed his face on yours, reaching your lips with his own with a tiny groan. “I don’t think I’ll last long,” he confessed with a sheepish look.

“It’s okay, baby. This is about you,” you hummed softly. “Let go for me, can you do that?”

He nodded with his head, clutching your waist tighter.

“Good boy,” you breathed. “Focus on me, baby. Do you like what I’m doing with my hands?” you pumped him faster, your fingers cupping his balls, massaging them.

“Yeah,” he shuddered hard against you, closing his eyes to savor the pleasure brimming inside him. “Please…”

“Let go,” you muttered. “Come for me, Josh.”

A strangled noise came out of his parted lips. Joshua stopped gripping you, his hand snapping to find the wall behind you, anchoring himself before he followed your command. The last thing he did to help himself reach his high was meeting your lips with a long, sloppy kiss, wet in drool and the water showering over you.

He groaned in your mouth as he came in your hand. You stopped pumping him once he finished spilling himself on your skin. “That’s it, that’s it, baby,” you whispered in praise. “How does that feel?”

“So good,” he blurted, sighing a euphoric feeling. “You don’t know how many times I wished to have your hand instead of mine,” he mumbled out the words swiftly. “I missed you so much, I need you with me.”

“I’m here, baby. I missed you too,” you said. “Let’s finish washing, okay?”

“Okay,” he said. “And then it’s your turn.”

You smiled. “I like the sound of that.”

You finished washing up thoroughly, and then as soon as you finished drying your skin Joshua pulled you in a hug, sweeping you off your feet and a second later, your body hit the mattress.

Joshua climbed on top of you, but before he could even lower his body on yours, you pushed him off, easily turning him over, his back pressed against the covers. On a usual night, that would have been impossible to achieve. But given that he was tired, he did not expect you to do that.

You straddled his waist while kissing him, his hands roamed all over your back, squeezing your skin, he hugged you as you pressed your chest against his.

The accumulated tiredness from the nights when Joshua could not sleep had started to reach a breaking point for him. You could feel it in his kisses, languid and messy. He groaned when you tried to break from him, urging you to keep going.

“Stubborn,” you whispered with a tiny smile, pushing his wet hair away from his forehead with your hand.

“You’re the stubborn one,” he replied with a gruff tone. “I’m fine.”

“Sleep, baby,” you paused, looking at his beautiful eyes. “We can do this in the morning.”

Joshua thought that your words might have magic in them because his will caved in a second. The heaviness in his limbs pushed him to nod his head in agreement. “Okay, okay,” he conceded. “But only if you stay here with me.”

“Of course, baby,” you giggled. “I don’t want to be anywhere else.”

You got under the covers, naked and hair still damp but you did not care at all. Once you were next to him, you intertwined your legs with his, lying your head on his chest as he hugged your body.

“Baby?” he blinked lazily.

“Yes, Josh?” you lifted your head to look at him.

“Don’t go anywhere,” he whispered, his eyelids falling heavily.

“I won’t,” you reassured him, caressing his cheek with gentle strokes. “I promise.”

He blinked one final time, and like a switch that went off, you saw the muscles of his face relax, falling asleep peacefully in your bed with you.

Some hours later, you moved from his embrace, lying in a normal position but still close to Joshua. You wanted to let him have a nice restoring sleep, so you thought of moving away from him a bit.

But his hands found you beneath the covers, tugging you closer, or hugging you back to him in his sleep. He was so deeply asleep that he did not hear the soft beeping of the smart lock, the door pushed open and then it closed with care.

Jeonghan’s steps were careful, probably intuiting that you were in the bedroom asleep. You saw his head peak in the doorframe of the bedroom, making you lift your hand to wave at him.

“Hi, baby,” he whispered, approaching the foot of the bed. “Am I interrupting?”

“No,” you patted your hand next to you, on the space that was left free.

“Okay,” he whispered, moving to the side.

Jeonghan paused before he went under the covers with you, finding you and Joshua utterly naked. “Tsk,” he clicked his tongue, suppressing a smile. “Couldn’t you wait for me?” he muttered teasingly.

“Shut up,” you reproached with a hushed tone. “Josh was tired, so he fell asleep before we could do anything,” you explained.

“I’m just playing, baby,” he smiled, his gaze finding Joshua. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” you frowned, still caged by his heavy arms. “He was so tired. Couldn’t even speak straight.”

“So, what? Are we having a slumber party?” he grinned.

“Maybe,” you shrugged. “I don’t know if he’ll wake up right now.”

“We could order food if he does.”

“Okay,” you nodded.

“Okaaay,” he sighed, pulling out his phone and lowering the brightness of his screen before he dived in the food delivery app.

The dimmed white light coming from the screen illuminated his features, letting you see his perfectly cute nose, his beauty mark that sat on his cheek, his rosy lips, the lower tucked inside his mouth.

“What?” he noticed, directing a quick look at you.

“I’m just looking at your face,” you whispered.

“Is there something on it?” he asked, running his palm over his cheeks.

“No, you dummy,” you said. “I just missed your face.”

“You saw me this morning, princess,” he giggled goofily.

“You were supposed to say I missed your face too, princess,” you mimicked his tone to the best of your ability but failed miserably.

“But I didn’t miss you,” he said, trying to sound serious. “I just saw you this morning.”

“I take it back, I didn’t miss your face,” you pushed him away with a hand.

“Come here, you little crybaby,” he mumbled, grabbing your hand.

“You-mmf,” you were quickly shut up by his lips, sealed by his in a chaste kiss.

“What?” he dared, planting another kiss, then another.

“You fucking tease,” you muttered, pushing his face away from yours.

His mouth fell open in surprise. “Me?” he pointed a finger to his chest.

“Who else?” you hissed. “You’re so fucking annoying.”

“Oh, baby, you don’t even know,” he grinned darkly at you. “Now, why don’t you stay quiet for a minute? You’re going to wake him up,” he nodded at the man deeply asleep behind you.

You turned on the bed, lying on your back. Joshua’s arm hugged you just below your breasts, pulling you closer by instinct when you moved.

“So now you’re going to ignore me?” Jeonghan huffed a puffy air, clicking his tongue.

You stared at the ceiling, dead set on keeping your act up.

But you should have done better than playing with The Yoon Jeonghan.

At first, he just smirked, but as the seconds went by and you pretended to ignore him, the smile wore off. He propped his elbow on the pillow, leaning his head on his fist, intent on watching your face.

Then, he slid a hand on your tummy, he did nothing else with it, he just parked it there, his palm covering your belly button. You rejected his touch, but he caught sight of your eyelids fluttering slightly.

“Don’t ignore me,” he drew out the words with a low hum. He lifted his palm, but his fingers lingered on your skin, dragging the tips on your tummy in slow, gentle motions.

You said nothing, but as his fingers trailed on your lower abdomen, you swallowed hard. Jeonghan smiled, loving how well you responded to his touch. Your warm skin prickled, tingling at the wake of his fingertips drawing circles, going lower and lower.

“Baby, I’m sorry,” he pouted. “Did you get angry because I called you a crybaby?”

The tone he used was mocking you, but you could not pay attention to it. His fingers were so close to your mound that you felt the need to swallow back a moan, the strangled sound coiling in your throat drew his attention.

“What was that, baby?” he asked playfully.

Yanking your gaze from the ceiling, you met his, darkened by lust and mischief. The smirk that drew on his face was of silent victory.

“What, do you like this?” he motioned to his hand drawing lazy circles on your mound, his fingers grazing the line of your pussy lips. “Does this get you horny?

You blinked at him, parting your lips in desire but no words came out.

“I bet you’re wet already,” he whispered, a glint lighting up his dark eyes.

You moved your thighs ever so slightly, letting one finger between your pussy lips.

“God, baby, right next to Joshua?” he whispered, a devilish smirk curving his lips. “What is your boyfriend going to say if he wakes up?”

You said absolutely nothing, your eyelids fluttered when he ran the tip of his finger between your folds.

“So fucking wet,” he mumbled, more to himself than to you, as though he knew already that he would find your pussy sopping wet already. “Who would’ve thought that you’re such a slut?”

You gasped silently, drawing your eyebrows in. Jeonghan’s finger dipped in your core, his own mouth falling open when he sank one finger in, then another, playing with your wetness.

“Hear that?” he asked with a whisper, moving his fingers in and out of your wet pussy, creating a loud wet noise with each thrust.

In the past weeks, you had been having so much sex that your body was extra sensitive.

“Princess, you’re insatiable,” Jeonghan smiled, throwing a look at Joshua, who was still asleep. “Do you want more?”

Your gaze followed his, finding Joshua peacefully unaware that you were getting fingered by Jeonghan. You nodded.

“More?” Jeonghan confirmed. “More fingers?”

You shook your head silently.

“Mmn, princess, you’re going to wake Joshua up if I give you more,” he cooed softly, moving his fingers inside you, massaging your walls. He pulled them out, driving the pads of his fingers to your clit, which was already swollen with arousal.

You flinched slightly under Joshua’s embrace when Jeonghan’s fingertips started moving on your clit. You locked your gaze on Jeonghan, silently pleading for more.

Jeonghan took the challenge, stopping the motion of his fingers on you and sank under the covers, carefully placing himself between your legs without disrupting Joshua’s sleep. You closed your eyes, feeling his hands on your inner thighs, spreading your pussy lips for his mouth.

The first lick set your body ablaze. You tensed up, gritting your teeth as Jeonghan ran his tongue flatly on your folds, licking your juices up, kissing your clit slowly.

As soon as your back stirred on the mattress, Joshua moved. He hummed softly, making your tummy twist, a hand flying to find Jeonghan’s head, but the man did not take the hint, or if he did, he did not give a fuck.

Jeonghan continued giving your pussy broad strokes with his tongue, not caring of the wet sounds he was making.

“Mmn,” Joshua pressed his face on your pillow finding your cheek, which he kissed softly.

“Josh,” you mumbled, the sound whiny, making it obvious that you were aroused.

Jeonghan pushed his hands on your inner thighs, spreading you more to dip his tongue inside you with a low groan.

“What’s ha–,” Joshua lifted his head from your pillow, spotting the bulge beneath the covers, between your legs.

“Baby,” you sighed a moan.

Joshua watched the body beneath the covers for a few seconds, confusedly finding your face. The last traces of slumber left him, coming alive with a slow smirk drawing on his face. He pushed the covers off, uncovering your body, and Jeonghan between your legs, eating you out. “Couldn’t you wait for me?”

You let out a lazy giggle, finding it amusing that Jeonghan had said the same thing half an hour before. “Wanna join?” you asked with a sweet hum, raking your fingertips through Jeonghan’s scalp.

Joshua propped his body on one elbow, lying back to watch Jeonghan working on your pussy. “How do you want me to join in?” he asked, his voice still gruff and lazy.

“Kiss me?” you asked with a sweet tone.

The man obeyed without a second thought, bringing a hand to cup your face, kissing you gently. Jeonghan grabbed your legs, hiking them on his shoulders, dipping two fingers back into your pussy, and kissing your clit with his mouth.

You moaned in Joshua’s mouth, his hands cupping your breasts, fingers pinching and tugging your nipples.

“You’re close, baby?” Joshua asked, enjoying the sound so much he felt himself growing hard.

“I want more,” you gasped.

Joshua smirked, dipping his head over your chest, trapping one of your nipples in his mouth, teasing it with his tongue.

“God!” you squealed, hands busy grabbing both Jeonghan and Joshua’s hair. Your thighs tensed more in pleasure, drawing out a long moan as one of your boyfriends licked and kissed your nipples, and the other your clit.

“I’m coming,” you sighed, closing your eyes in bliss. “God, god, god, I’m close, I’m close!” you let out a strangled sound, jaw going slack as you climaxed below Jeonghan and Joshua, neither slowing down nor stopping.

You thrashed, moaned, and cried out each of their names lewdly until you were breathless, teary-eyed, and limp on the mattress.

“God… that was…” you sighed, smiling as you relished in the aftershocks of your orgasm.

They both lifted their heads from your body at the same time. Jeonghan ran the back of his hand over his chin, wiping away your arousal and his own spit, while Joshua acted on impulse, grabbing Jeonghan's hand and sticking his fingers in his mouth to lick the taste of you.

Jeonghan looked startled for a second, his eyes widening and lips parting. But he shook it off quickly, letting Joshua lick off your wetness. The sight was so arousing, that a moan coiled in your throat.

“Princess likes that, huh?” Jeonghan asked Joshua, pulling out his fingers from the warmth of his mouth.

“Did you like that, baby?” Joshua asked, his studded eyebrow twitching up.

“Yeah,” you sighed, smiling shyly when the sound came out more like a moan than anything else.

Jeonghan had a question etched in his eyes that only Joshua could see. But he ignored it, trying to get a hold of himself before he did more impulsive things.

“What do you want, princess?” Jeonghan asked, noticing the dazed expression on your face.

“I want you both. At the same time. You on top,” you pointed at Jeonghan, then to Joshua. “And you below me.”

“Tsk,” Jeonghan smirked, nodding his head in amazement.

But he climbed off the bed as he took his clothes off, opening the first drawer of your closet. As Jeonghan got what he needed from the drawer, he thought of the brief exchange he had with Joshua, deciding to push it far away in his mind for now. But he could not ignore, that he had liked it.

You rose to your knees, circling Joshua’s neck with your hands to bring him to your face, pressing a warm kiss in his mouth. “I liked that,” you whispered, referring to Joshua licking Jeonghan’s fingers.

“I know,” he husked with a half-smile. “I can tell.”

Jeonghan returned with a bottle of lube, and one condom, patting the edge of the bed he motioned you over. “I want you here, Princess,” he told you.

You crawled over to him, sitting back on your heels in front of him.

Jeonghan cupped the side of your head, tangling his fingers in your hair, and pressing a small kiss on your lower lip. “Be good for us,” he whispered.

“Always, Hannie,” you smiled.

“Mmn,” he hummed, keeping his quippy retort behind his grin. “Turn around and get on all fours, baby.”

You obeyed at once, getting on your hands and knees, ass to him. Jeonghan started littering your skin with kisses, his hands caressing your ass. Joshua watched quietly, one corner of his lips twitching when Jeonghan sneaked another glance his way.

“Come here, handsome,” you muttered lovingly, extending a hand to clutch his hip. Joshua was hard again, tip leaking with precum.

Joshua mimicked Jeonghan’s previous movements, cupping your face in his large hand. “Want to take me in your mouth, baby?” he taunted, reading your face.

“Yeah?” you lifted your pretty eyes to his face.

“Open your mouth,” he whispered, swallowing hard when you obediently parted your lips for him.

A moan vibrated around his cock, Jeonghan kissed your pussy one more time, making your whole body jolt in surprise. “Easy, baby,” he giggled.

Jeonghan closed his eyes, running the tip of his tongue between your folds, licking up your pussy to the rim of your ass, kissing, humming against your skin.

The room grew quiet in a matter of seconds.

Joshua’s head hung back slightly, sighing out in pleasure as you sucked him off eagerly. Your tongue swirled on his cockhead, hollowing out your cheeks every time you pulled back on him. He opened his eyes, his gaze falling on Jeonghan instinctively.

Joshua’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest to find Jeonghan’s eyes on him as he licked your puckered hole, a hand stroking his hard cock idly.

“God,” Joshua exhaled, closing his eyes again. You moaned around him, his hand gripping your hair right before he pulled out his cock out of your mouth with a loud groan.

He threw back his head, eyes focused on the ceiling, panting.

“Josh?” you called.

“Give me a second,” Joshua laughed languidly.

Jeonghan masked his giggle with a low hum, pulling back his mouth from your puckered hole to press the tip of his pointer finger, making you moan. “Joshuji is just out of his game, baby,” he cooed.

“Shut up,” Joshua groaned, chest heaving. “I’m not.”

“Alright, then, what is it?” Jeonghan challenged. There was no smile curling his lips, Joshua found in Jeonghan’s eyes pure curiosity.

Joshua bore into him with his dark gaze. “Not now,” he warned with a cold tone.

“There is nothing wrong with admitting that you’re a quick nut,” Jeonghan stated boldly, knowing that his crude vocabulary would rattle him. “Baby will understand, right?”

“Jeonghan, why don’t you occupy your mouth again and shut the fuck up?”

“Did I hurt your feelings, altar boy?” Jeonghan tilted his head to one side, pushing another finger inside you.

“Both of you,” you groaned, torn between the fight happening and Jeonghan’s fingers in your ass. “Shut up,” you deadpanned.

“Are you ready, baby?” Jeonghan asked, spreading his fingers inside you.

“Yeah, I think I am,” you choked out.

“Get on top of Shuji, baby,” Jeonghan patted your ass lovingly.

Joshua got to the center of the bed, laying back as you crawled back to him, straddling him. He grabbed your head with his large hands, pulling you into a long, wet kiss.

You placed your forearms on the pillows, framing his head.

Jeonghan grabbed your hips roughly, lifting one hand, and bringing it down on your ass firmly. You yelped, breaking your kiss with Joshua abruptly.

Joshua smiled at you. “Someone’s jealous,” he teased, grabbing your chin with two fingers to continue kissing you.

“Tsk, jealous,” Jeonghan huffed. “Ready?”

You turned to see him, giving him a short nod.

Jeonghan rolled up the condom down his shaft, spreading the lube in both him and your hole. “You know what to do, princess.”

“Yes, Hannie,” you replied, arching your back to him.

“Good girl,” he sighed, pressing the tip of his cock in your hole, pushing one inch inside you.

“God,” you gasped, hiding your face in the crook of Joshua’s neck.

Joshua caressed your back, his fingers drawing a line down your column before he grabbed your ass, spreading you open for Jeonghan. “You’re good, baby,” he whispered, looking at Jeonghan as he sank another inch in.

Your fingers curled on the pillowcases. “Josh…” you cried out, Jeonghan’s cock filling you up a little bit more.

Jeonghan blinked lazily, biting his lip hard as he pulled back, to sink back inside you, pushing a few more inches in.

“Take it, baby,” Joshua husked, his fingers pressing the skin of your ass, still helping spread you open.

“Fuck,” Jeonghan gritted, nearly bottoming out inside you. “I’m gonna start moving,” he drawled.

“Yeah, yes, please,” you cried out, the sound muffled on Joshua’s neck.

Joshua shuddered, your breath fanning on his skin. “Can you take me, baby?” he asked.

“Mm-mmph,” you moved your head, to meet his lips with yours. “Please, Josh.”

“Hurry,” Jeonghan groaned, giving you shallow thrusts.

Joshua thought of saying something quippy.

But you sent him a look. “Don’t,” you huffed. You grabbed his cock, guiding it to your pussy.

“Okay,” Joshua whispered, suppressing a smile. He started thrusting in his cock, pushing his hips up to meet yours.

Jeonghan moaned, leaning his body forward, pushing you over too. “Fuck, god, fuuuuck,” he groaned, leaning his forehead on your nape. “Baby, you feel so good.”

The lewd sound of Jeonghan’s voice elicited a moan from Joshua. Pushing his cock faster inside you, he could feel Jeonghan’s cock inside you, moving in perfect synchronicity with his own.

Jeonghan was fully fucking you doggy style, leaning over your body as Joshua fucked into you. He pressed a hand on the pillow, the other gripping your hip, brushing against Joshua’s fingers.

“Baby,” Joshua called your name, noticing your features lost in pleasure. “You’re there?”

“Yeah,” you replied aloofly. “I’m close, babe. I’m so close…”

“Come for me,” Jeonghan choked out, squeezing his eyes shut.

“No, not yet,” Joshua gasped, fucking into you faster. Sweat sticking to his skin, making a wet sound every time he met his hips with yours. “Wait for me, baby.”

“I can’t,” you whispered, your limbs starting to shake. “I’m there, Josh. Please… let me come.”

Jeonghan let out a ragged groan. “Come, baby, please come,” he begged, swallowing hard, pushing inside you desperately now.

Just by the sounds alone, Joshua knew his best friend was near his release. He watched as Jeonghan nipped and kissed your shoulder, eyes closed as if though he feared opening them, as though he knew Joshua would be looking.

You cried out a whiny moan. “Joshua, Joshua…” you sighed, writhing as your orgasm washed over you, teary-eyed and completely fucked out.

“Fuck, princess,” Jeonghan gasped, his thrusts slowing down as you squeezed on both men inside you.

Joshua gripped your hips tighter as he moved his lazily. “God,” he blurted as he saw you and Jeonghan come together just like in all of those videos. You squeezed around him, and he could feel Jeonghan’s cock nudged inside you, pressing against his.

You fell on top of him, walls throbbing around his cock as he spilled inside you with a blissful sigh.

Then Jeonghan fell on top of you, pulling out of you and resting his head on the pillow, beside Joshua’s head.

Joshua groaned under the weight of both your body and now Jeonghan’s. But you giggled sweetly, resting your head on the other pillow, to the other side of Jeonghan.

Joshua stared at the ceiling again, breathing hard and erratically from the exhaustion and pleasure still coursing through him. But he dared to move his face, turning it to Jeonghan to see if his best friend was awake.

With just one look, Joshua knew that Jeonghan had a million questions to ask. His eyes bore into Joshua’s, his face so close they could feel each other’s breaths.

Joshua wondered for a second if Jeonghan’s lips were as soft as yours. A thought that almost sent him into a frenzy.

“What?” Jeonghan breathed, noticing the change in Joshua’s eyes.

“Get off me,” Joshua gritted.

“Ask nicely.”

“Get the fuck off me,” Joshua demanded, but a giggle sneaked through his command.

“Alright, alright,” Jeonghan groaned, pushing himself off you and Joshua.

You, on the other hand, were still lost in the gentle aftershocks of your orgasm. Breathing softly on the curve of Joshua’s neck.

“We should clean up,” you said, promptly lifting your hips off his.

“Wait–,” Joshua gasped, but it was too late. Cum dripped out of you, spilling all over Joshua, and your inner thighs.

You stared at the mess for a long second.

“Tsk,” Jeonghan returned to the bedroom. “Someone has to clean that up now,” he said, lying down on the bed, next to Joshua.

Before Joshua could even say anything, you understood what Jeonghan meant immediately, leaning down to his crotch, running your tongue on his lower abdomen.

“Fuck,” Joshua gritted when you licked his cum from his skin, the act so hot he felt himself grow hard again. “Fuck, baby,” he rolled his eyes to the ceiling, trying to calm himself down.

“Lie down, princess, Jeonghan commanded when you finished cleaning up Joshua’s lower tummy.

You lied back on the bed as he got to his knees, sending a look at Joshua as Jeonghan licked the cum from your inner thighs, eliciting a lazy moan from you.

Joshua felt even more confused than before but kept watching the whole exchange, unable to yank his gaze from it.

You smiled at Jeonghan, right before he dived for a kiss, his tongue rolling inside your mouth with a raspy groan. You cupped his head moaning lewdly in his mouth.

“Come on, let’s wash up, baby,” Jeonghan whispered, patting your thigh once before pulling away from you, but not before glancing Joshua’s way.

You crawled up to him, a playful smile on your face. “You there?” you cooed. “Let’s go,” you whispered.

Snapping from a trance, he grabbed your face, placing a rushed kiss in your lips, tasting his cum in the process. “That was so hot,” he hissed.

“Did you like that, babe?” you asked sultrily, reading his face.

“Yeah,” he croaked.

You smiled mischievously, grabbing his hand. “Come on, baby boy, let’s wash again.”

And with that, Joshua knew there was no right or wrong answer to the turbulent confusion inside him, he had to roll with it.

The following morning, Joshua stretched out his arm beneath the bedsheets, humming blissfully once he found your body to wrap in an embrace.

“Morning, babe,” you whispered.

He opened his eyes to see your face, planting a sleepy kiss on your lips. “G’morning,” he whispered.

Jeonghan looked at both of you, his phone in his hands. “Don’t I get a morning kiss?”

The question made Joshua’s heart jolt nervously. But understanding that the question was directed at you, he rolled his eyes.

However, you smiled, moving to place a sweet kiss on Jeonghan’s lips. “Good morning, Hannie,” you mumbled.

“Morning,” he replied with a flat tone.

“You’re a bit grumpy since last night,” you pointed. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Jeonghan said, shaking his head slightly. “I should go now. Got to go to the bar to drop some payments and–,” he paused. “Is your thing with Yena still up for tonight?”

Joshua arched one eyebrow.

“Yeah, but Josh will drive me there. Don’t worry,” you looked at him.

“I’ll drive you,” he nodded dumbly. “Where?”

“I have a date with Yena. We’re grabbing dinner, we’ll talk about my anonymity and see what we could do market wise,” you explained, pinching his chin with your fingers.

“Okay,” Joshua reassured. “I’ll drive you.”

“Alright,” Jeonghan sighed, leaning over to place a loving kiss on your forehead. “I love you,” he mumbled right before kissing your lips sweetly.

Joshua’s heart gave another leap. The smile that painted your face was so sweet, he had only seen it on you whenever you were with him.

“I love you, grumpy,” you replied teasingly.

“Shut up,” he sighed a smile, kissing you one more time before he pulled back. “Bye, Joshuji,” he waved, much as if he could not walk out without saying goodbye to him.

“Bye, Jeonghannie.”

Joshua sat on the pilot’s seat of his van, waiting. One hand supporting his head, the other gripping the steering wheel tightly.

He wished he could say that he eased part of the questions that made his head uneasy. But in truth, he felt even more confused. The easy way out of this, was to just let whatever he felt flow.

But then, he needed to talk it out with you. And Jeonghan.

Frustrated, he sighed. He didn’t know what he was expecting when he returned home. He so desperately wanted to go back to the quiet life, that he forgot that time also moved for you, and things changed.

Your life was also becoming less quiet.

Was this his doing?

You opened the door to the copilot’s seat of his van. “Sorry, sorry,” you mumbled.

“Ready?” he turned the key, igniting the engine.

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” you repeated.

“It’s okay, baby,” he replied dryly. “Bringing everything this time?”

“Yeah, I triple-checked,” you looked down to your lap, shamefully. “I keep forgetting my phone everywhere.”

“Did you book a table?” Joshua asked, eyeing you as he drove through the city.

“Yeah, but Yen’s already waiting for me.”

“Mm,” Joshua nodded.

You raised your eyebrows. “Are you mad at me, Josh?” you asked, and without skipping a second, you added: “I’m sorry, I–,”

“I’m not mad,” he said flatly.

A long silence was drawn between you, tension building as the seconds passed.

“Okay, tell me what’s wrong then,” you said with a serious tone, trying to look at his face, but he just kept avoiding your eyes.

“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong,” he mumbled.

“Don’t do that,” you snapped. “Don’t do this.”

“Do what?” he finally looked at you, but the glance was short.

“You’re avoiding something,” you pointed. “I know you, Josh. There is something bothering you.”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” he shook his head, pulling up. He raised his eyebrows. “We’re here.”

It took you a second to understand that he had parked the car in front of the restaurant you were going to meet with Yena. You searched his dark eyes, heart dropping to your stomach when you saw how dead they looked.

“I’m thinking of quitting the band,” Joshua mumbled, the weight of his confession making him drive his gaze elsewhere.

“You’re not serious,” you whispered.

“I am,” he looked at you again. “I’m done. I can’t do this anymore.”

You leaned your head to one side, eyes glinting with pity. “Baby, you’re just tired. Don’t say things like this, think it over when you’re well rested.”

“I don’t need to think things over,” he spat, shaking his head in frustration. “I want out. I don’t want any of this.”

As soon as he blurted the words, Joshua wanted to take them back. He looked at you remorsefully, opening his mouth to apologize but you stopped him, raising a palm to him.

“I’m going to ignore this moment happened… and when I come back, you and I are going to talk about this. So think carefully about how you speak to me next time.”

Then you exited the car, slamming the door behind you.

Joshua stood in front of the walled rooftop.

This used to be the place where you would come to ponder about whatever occupied your mind the most. The night Joshua followed you here, he found you in the same spot he was standing in; but you were leaning your head on the brim of the ledge, following the buzz of the busy city as some kind of a lullaby.

Some nights, Joshua would wake up to find your spot of the bed empty, and he know he would find you here, trying to solve whatever plot point you were stuck in. But some nights he would also find you here when you were running away from conflict, running away from him.

He brought a hand to rub his chest absentmindedly, trying to easy the heaviness coiling around his heart.

The sound coming from the rusty hinges of the door leading back into the building rattled him, making him turn around, somehow expecting to see you.

Jeonghan closed the door behind him, crossing his arms as he walked tentatively towards Joshua. “How long have you been here?” he asked.

Joshua shook his head in reprehension. “If you’re here to play the mediator, just telling you now, I don’t want to hear it,” he turned over again, facing the city lights again. “I know I did wrong.”

“I’m not here to play mediator,” Jeonghan said quietly once he reached Joshua’s side, leaning his forearms on the brim of the ledge. “I’ve been looking for you. You’re not picking up the phone.”

“Did you… talk to Bunny?” Joshua asked, avoiding his best friend’s scrutiny. But it was quite unavoidable, he could feel his eyes piercing him.

“Yeah, I did,” he replied, finally yanking his gaze away from him and directing it towards the sunset.

Joshua expected him to say something else, something about the conversation between Jeonghan and you. But when he stayed quiet about it, Joshua felt even worse. He brought his hands to his face, rubbing his eyes harshly to avoid succumbing to pure madness.

“I’m sorry, I’ll talk to her when she gets back,” he mumbled, his voice muffling in his hands. He lifted his head blinking the quiet rage stinging his eyes and sent a shameful look to his best friend.

“She’s already here,” Jeonghan informed with a solemn expression. “She called me.”

Joshua could not stop himself from feeling resentful that you had called Jeonghan to pick you up instead of him. But even he would admit that it was deserved.

The serenity he found in Jeonghan’s gaze was perplexing. “What happened?” he asked with caution.

Joshua took pause, assuming that you might have just told him in brief what happened. “I told her I’m thinking of quitting the band. We had an argument. I shouldn’t have exploded like that, but the truth is… I’m exhausted. I don’t want this anymore,” he rasped with a nasty feeling making his face twist.

“Are you really quitting?” Jeonghan seemed unfazed by this turn of events.

“I don’t know,” he sighed, clasping his hands together as he lowered his head. “I knew what I was getting myself into when I agreed to sign for the label but… I never wanted this.”

“What is it that you hate so much about this?” he frowned with clear confusion rising in his tone. “Can’t you just admit publicly that she’s your girlfriend? Forget about me, or how I’d feel, you would have one thing less to worry about. Two, actually.”

Joshua turned to his best friend, processing his words over and over in his head, all the while scanning his features, finding nothing but quiet resolution. “You’re insane,” he realized. “You can’t say that. After all the shit that we went through to get here you can’t just decide to leave.”

Crossing his arms still, Jeonghan shrugged. “Well it can’t be that bad, right? I could just remain in the background or leave completely. I’m just saying, we can come up with some story to make all of this go away.”

“No,” he negated with his head. “No, I don’t want you to leave. And I’m pretty sure Bunny doesn’t want that either.”

Jeonghan said nothing at first, but Joshua could tell the severity of his entire demeanor had an underlying reason. “I don’t want to leave either, you know that. But look at yourself. I can’t stand looking at you like this,” Jeonghan admitted. “I tried to warn you, Shuji. You can’t make yourself happy by making everyone happy.”

The perplexing feeling sunk deeper within him. The only reaction Joshua could muster was a hollow laugh that went on until he thought this was what insanity felt like.

Jeonghan’s gaze turned to worry, his eyebrows pinching together.

“This is so fucked up,” Joshua muttered to himself, dropping his face back onto his hands and muffled a long sigh. “I’m so fucked.”

“If this is putting you in this state then we should call the polycule off,” he heard Jeonghan’s quiet tone try to bring some sense into this. “You can go back to your life before all of this, I’ll be fine.”

It seemed astounding to Joshua that his best friend would be up to do that if that made Joshua happy, even though that would mean walking away from you again. It had been so long since Jeonghan and him had a heart-to-heart, that they have missed out on so much. Joshua could easily assume what has happened in the time he been away.

But Jeonghan had no idea about what he has come to find out about himself.

“I can’t do this right now, Jeonghan,” Joshua decided, casting one look at Jeonghan’s face, and turned away from him, walking towards the door. “I’m not ready to talk about this.”

Joshua thought of what he would say to you as he crossed the rooftop, dragging his feet with heavy reluctance. He would undoubtedly apologize to you and tell you what was going on inside his head.

He did not want to walk away from his band, that was something he had said crassly, without really weighing how alarming that sounded given the state that he was in. He needed to sleep. He needed to think. He needed to—

“Stop hurting her, you fucking coward!” Jeonghan’s complaint resounded across the space between them, making Joshua stop dead in his tracks.

“What?” he blurted, turning around to see him approaching with an angry step.

“You always do this,” Jeonghan’s face twisted in annoyance, his brow furrowing as he lifted one finger to point at Joshua’s face. “You said you wouldn’t do this again. You lie and bottle up your feelings until it’s everyone’s problem!”

“I just said I can’t do this right now,” Joshua gritted.

But that just proved Jeonghan’s point. “The only time you can do it is when you blow up!” he accused. “How fucking hard can it be to just say what you truly think and feel?” he exasperatedly threw his hands at his sides.

“Like you say what you truly think and feel?” Joshua rolled his eyes in an irked way.

“What the hell are you talking about?” he demanded, dropping his hand on his side.

“We’ll talk about this later, Jeonghan,” he huffed, motioning to the door again.

“What do you want me to say? I’ll tell you right now,” he challenged, his chest falling and rising rapidly.

Joshua bit his tongue. His first instinct was to try and opt out of the conversation again, try and buy as much time as possible to figure out his feelings, to solve the itching confusion in his heart.

But as he faced his best friend, his resolve became clearer. He did not need to send any more tentative glances at him or wonder to himself any further. Jeonghan’s eyes kept reading his face over and over, just as Joshua drifted towards his lips, and then his eyes.

“What?” Jeonghan’s brow furrowed deeper, the annoyance in his demeanor died down and swiftly turned into genuine bewilderment.

Joshua thought for a second that whatever emotion showed on his face made his intentions clear. “Jeonghan,” he breathed.

His brow finally relaxed; his eyes widening in wordless realization. “Joshua?”

A large hand grabbed the collar of Jeonghan’s hoodie, giving it a firm tug. Their chests clashed together, knocking the air out of their lungs. Joshua paused, giving Jeonghan a moment to back away, to put a stop on this before it was too late.

Jeonghan’s breath hitched, but no words came out of his parted lips.

An overwhelming fluttering invaded Joshua’s chest. His free hand cupped the back of his head, tangling his fingers on the long dark hair. They both looked at each other as they leaned closer, and closer. Jeonghan closed his eyes, so Joshua decided to do the same until their lips met in a slow, tentative kiss.

✮ author's note: hellooooooo,

here it is! slightly late but here it's the first part to my hannieween fest/kinktober celebration. i hope you liked it 🙂‍↕️

i am so excited for you guys to read the next chapter to lights out!! i am actually very excited to know what you think of this one. it took me some time to finish writing it because i have so many projects at the moment!

but here it is hehe. i'm happy.

✮ STAY TUNED FOR CHAPTER SIX!! ✮

JOIN MY TAGLIST | PREVIOUS CHAPTERS | BUY ME A COFFEE? (●'◡'●)

#svt smut #jeonghan x reader #joshua x reader #joshua smut #jeonghan smut #SO FUCKING GOOD #READ IT #RIGHT NOW

484 notes · View notes

redblossom · 6 months ago

Text

¡AY DIOS, V!

Primero que nada, que joyita de capítulo. Me mantuvo al borde del asiento en todo momento con las palabras que se decían tanto Bunny/Jeonghan como Joshua/Bunny. Pero a ver, vamos por partes.

Me dolió en el alma cuando Hannie le dice que no pueden ser amigos. Te juro que sentí mi propio corazón romperse porque me imaginé perfecto a este Jeonghan desolado mientras trata de mantenerse fuerte para no causar más dolor. El simple hecho de que piense más en Bunny que en su propio bienestar me dice todo en cuánto a sentimientos. Uff, que buen papel hizo, la verdad. Cada vez me gana más, aunque tal vez sea que tengo un punto débil con Jeonghan jajajaja.

Lo segundo, ¿Joshua y Bunny? Fuuuuuck, lloré cuando están hablando, y por un momento si pensé que iban a terminar. El cambio tan brusco de emociones fue perfecto porque así es como sientes ese tipo de conversaciones y el hecho de que lo hayas escrito tan...perfecto, me hace reafirmar que eres una de las mejores escritoras que hay en Tumblr. Me gustó que, a pesar de todo, cuando están teniendo sexo y Bunny le dice que no está cerca, Joshua se preocupa más porque ella disfrute que por su propio orgasmo. Eso fue la cereza del pastel para esta pareja, en mi opinión. Amé ese detalle y que Joshua hablara con ella a pesar de todo lo que estaba pasando. Cada vez los adoro más.

Ahora sí, la parte que estabas esperando, el trío. DIOS. ES QUE...FUE PERFECCIÓN. ¿La sincronía que tiene el Jihan? ¿La posesividad de Joshua y la competitividad de Jeonghan? Ugh, que hermosa escena. Me encantó que ambos pensaron en Bunny y no en su propio placer, como muchos hombres hacen. Eso sólo me hace querer defenderlos más.

En total, fue una delicia leer este cap, a pesar del hiatus. Yo siempre lo dije y lo sostengo, puedes irte años y las que disfrutamos tus escritos te esperaremos fieles. Fantástico trabajo, V.

No puedo esperar al siguiente cap y el ver como todo se va a dar entre Hannie y Bunny cuando Josh esté de gira. Estoy ansiosa de saber cómo se van a manejar esos dos satélites alrededor de su planeta.

Espero que te haya gustado esta reseña y que, como siempre, te inspire a seguir tan maravilloso trabajo. Xoxo, Blossom🌸.

flashing lights | lights out series

You felt betrayed in some way you had never felt before. You thought that you could trust Joshua, you thought you were safe with him. After all that you have been through together, this cannot be the way he loses you.

✮pairings: joshua hong x female reader x yoon jeonghan ✮ genre: angst, fluff, smut [18+] ✮aus: rockstar joshua, theatre director jeonghan, boyfriend joshua, best friend jeonghan, pre-polyamory, friends to fucking ✮word count: 23.8k

→ season one – chapter i – playlist ♡

› smut warnings below the cut

✮ warnings: a whole lotta angst, smut with plot, dom joshua, soft dom jeonghan, sub reader, everyone is toxic, possessiveness, jealousy, sleepy vanilla love making, body worshipping, oral sex (f and m receiving), masturbation (m), unprotected sex, squirting, tag teaming, spit roasting, eiffel tower, multiple creampies, cumplay, cum mixing, a bit of sadism and brat taming: spanking, overstimming. pet names: baby, princess, bunny, beautiful, (hers) baby, handsome (joshua's) ✮ author's note: this is so fucking self-indulgent i am so obsessed with jihan it must be a sickness by now ok ok ok... indulge with me beautiful readers --- (●'◡'●) ✮ disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

part ii

Three weeks before.

Yoon Jeonghan had never felt this in his life.

He used to think that he guarded himself pretty well. Keeping everyone at an arm's length from entering his heart, never quite falling for someone, thus he never suffered heartbreak.

Until he met you.

When Joshua initially suggested getting to know you, he thought nothing of it. Jeonghan thought of himself a good friend and even though he was particularly shy in some aspects, he was eager to meet the person who finally worked their way to Joshua's heart.

And you simply clicked in what he imagined you would be. Cute, kind, smart, fun. All of the traits he imagined Joshua would look for in a person, if he ever dared to even think about it.

But in getting to know his best friend's girlfriend, something else happened. At the beginning, he thought it was life's sickest joke yet. Falling in love with you was a stupid idea. One that was so attractive he might as well just be a moth flying straight into the flame.

Because you were everything he wanted. The quiet afternoons he spent sprawled on your couch with you, watching shows, laughing together, confiding in each other. He slowly realized by looking at you that he felt some kind of warmth whenever he was with you. He realized that he liked it. He wanted to stay there. Just being with you.

Jeonghan was an excellent judge of character, you told him once. And he pretty much agreed with you that time.

Right at that moment, he could tell you were nervous, and on the brink of crying. You were doing that thing you always did before you succumbed to your tears. Chewing on the inside of your cheek in an attempt to distract yourself, fingers twisting on the fabric of your pretty floral skirt.

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

You were both standing in the middle of the beautiful park, a beauty in the heart of the busy city you lived in. The sun was setting, but the heat was still trying to get to you, but the light breeze threading on your hair helped.

You called Jeonghan some days after you came back from your quick vacation. He had agreed to talk but on your terms, which were simple: it had to be in an open space, in broad daylight.

It sounded silly, but you were trying to avoid intimacy as much as possible. And maybe, he thought, being in a public space helped calm your nerves.

"Can't we just... be like before?" you whispered, your eyes were set on the big fountain behind him, a thing he assumed you were doing to appear as if you were looking at him.

But he knew you well.

"I don't think so princess," he mumbled, his lips pursing in the way he did when he spoke sweetly.

"Why not?" you asked in a mere whisper and your gaze dropped to your feet, succumbing now to the anguish watering in the corners of your eyes.

"Baby, you know why," he replied and he made the dumb move to take a step closer to you.

"Jeonghan," you retreated one step at once, shooting a warning look at him.

The feeling coursing from his chest to his limbs was unlike everything he has ever felt in his life. It hurt, it was sticky, it sunk so deep within him that his intuitive thought was to want to get rid of it.

"That's why," he emphasized. "I think I'll need time, if you want us to be friends again."

"Jeonghan, I thought–, I mean, that night," you stammered uncontrollably as you sniffled and rubbed the back of your hand against the corners of your eyes quite harshly.

"Don't," he cut you off when he understood you were trying to talk about the night he ruined it all, the weight on the thorn in his heart sunk deeper.

"But I..." you breathed, and it seemed for a moment to him that you might have felt the same nasty feeling too by the way you sobbed slowly.

Jeonghan froze, the look on your face, your broken voice and the reluctance to say what you wanted to say pinned him in that moment and place. He fooled himself for a second and thought that you finally would confess your feelings for him.

But your teary eyes dropped again from his face and to the ground, sobbing loudly before you just shook your head. You could not bring yourself to say it.

"I'll look for you," he promised, not giving a care in the world if he was crossing yet another line. He stopped caring about that long ago. "When I'm ready, I'll call you. Okay, baby?"

He raised a hand to pinch your chin ever so softly, calling your eyes to him. There he saw the confusion and sadness when you raised your head and looked at him. It broke his heart to know that you were hurt.

Yoon Jeonghan loved you so much that he would risk everything just to hold you. If he could just wrap you in his arms and love you freely, he would.

But you were just too far from reciprocating that feeling. And that for him was the reason why he decided not to go for it.

"Okay," you breathed.

Jeonghan took his leave, pressing the pads of his fingers on your chin softly once again, smiling sweetly at you and trying to convey with a look just how much he loved you.

Somehow the glint in your eye seemed to rekindle at that. You pressed your lips into a tiny but reassuring smile.

"Okay," he whispered too.

Then you both walked in opposite directions of each other, and that was the last time you saw Yoon Jeonghan, the last time you spoke to each other.

Until now.

Jeonghan never thought he would see you. Not today, and probably if he were honest to himself, not in a while. He had given up the idea of seeing you again, at least until he was ready for it.

But here you were.

His hand kept rubbing your back in small shapeless motions as you cried softly on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I should go," you said, pulling back while gathering your tears with your fingers.

"Why?" he frowned. "No, no. Please don't go," he blurted swiftly.

"But you're working and I just barged in here without telling you first. It's okay, we could talk another time, we could–," you muttered, quickly hiding your face as you caught the sight of someone from out back of the stage.

Jeonghan followed your gaze, and the guy that was trying to snoop hid behind a large prop.

"Wait here," he squeezed your arm gently and headed to a wall by the side of the stage. He called out to someone, told them what you could hear was a commanding sentence and then turned to you.

Jeonghan wore a white t-shirt and a green cardigan, blue jeans and boots. His long hair was secured in a half ponytail with a pink scrunchie that you had forgotten in his car a long time ago.

"Let's go," he said, nodding his head to the door atop the stairs.

"Bu-but aren't you working?" you asked dumbly, watching him pass you by and walk up the steps.

"I told them I won't be able to continue for the rest of the rehearsal," he shrugged and motioned you over with his hand. "Coming?"

You quickly ran to catch up with him. "I didn't want you to miss out on work, Jeonghan," you said, feeling stupid over your rash decisions.

"I'm my own boss, I can do this once in a while," he explained with an ease about himself.

"I should've called but..." you trailed off, making him look your way when you sighed. "I left my things back at my place. Phone and everything."

"How did you get here then?" he asked with genuine worry, brow furrowing and slowing his step so he could look at your face fully.

"I walked," you muttered shamefully.

It had been more like running. You came out of your building and immediately fell into a run. The theater was not as far as you initially had thought, even if it was the first time you visited by foot.

"Wait," he said again, grabbing your arm before you could push the doors to exit the theater. "What happened?"

"W-we had a fight. Josh and I," you mumbled awkwardly.

His sweet brown eyes looked at you up and down, and in the process you could see his mind reeling. The hand that wasn't parked in your arm palmed the pocket of his jeans and pulled out his phone. He glanced from the screen to your face and huffed.

"You two will drive me insane," he muttered quickly before pressing a thumb on the screen and then picked up the call. "What?"

His gaze fell out of focus, his frown deepening to the point that the lines between his brows dented, he checked his smartwatch as he said: "I was working. Yes, she's here, she's alright," Jeonghan looked at your face again and pressed his lips into a line. "Slow down. What?! Of course I'll take her home, Joshua. Bye."

Your stomach twisted painfully. The pain made you nearly recoil from Jeonghan and fall into a bottomless panic attack.

"What did he..." you started and then trailed off again. "Is he..."

"He is losing it, naturally," he muttered with an air of seriousness. "Come on, I'll take you home. We can talk on the way there."

You sighed in resignation. You thought about how Joshua would be taking your sudden departure when you were on the way here. But you also thought of what he said to you moments before, you thought of the events that led to this mess.

You were mad at your boyfriend. You were mad at yourself.

"Hold on. I'll be quick," you muttered, grabbing his wrist as he tried to continue to the door.

Jeonghan turned to you, and you saw something resembling fear in his eyes. Anxiety, fear, reluctance, maybe. You were unsure.

"I'm sorry, Jeonghan," you whispered nervously. "I'm sorry that I brought you into all of this, I never wanted to hurt you."

You had thought over and over the things that you wanted to say to him. You hated that you had nothing else to offer Jeonghan, not even an excuse, because there was no excuse for never realizing what you felt for him before everything went down.

"Hurt me?" he asked and cocked his head to one side. "You've never hurt me. What are you talking about?"

"Y-you–isn't that why you stopped talking to me? The reason why you asked for time? Joshua s-said that you have feelings for me..."

"He said that?" his tone was still serious, and now you could see that his patience was running out.

"Do you?" you asked with a tiny voice, eyes brimming in tears of remorse.

"Yes, I do," he said dryly, but the off tone he was giving you denoted some contempt over something you could not quite place. "I stopped reaching out to you because you're his girlfriend."

"B-but we," you looked around to make sure no one was around. "That night we..."

Jeonghan lifted his head at the sound of footsteps approaching down the hall leading to where you both were standing. He turned his gaze, swiftly looking for something and then took you by the wrist, pulling you to the other end of the room and opposite to the exit of the theater.

Before you could ask what he was attempting to do, you figured out that Jeonghan needed some place to talk to you privately, without being seen or interrupted. And you quietly thanked him when the place he had dragged you in was an empty office room, a lonely desk and chair sat on the corner of the small room.

Jeonghan closed the door not bothering to turn any lights on but you also thanked the darkness of the room, the newfound freedom of being able to be unseen and open at the same time.

He waited until the people walking by exited the theater and you could see in his eyes in the dark, you could see when he started biting his lower lip that his mind was reeling.

"I realized that there was no way I could keep being around you and be fine with what I feel for you. Not after that night," he muttered with a low tone. "I didn't want to make things more confusing for you because I know how much you love Joshua. So I walked away."

At that, your heart twisted again painfully, robbing you of air. "You should've just told me, Jeonghan," you whispered. "I never wanted this to happen. For weeks I felt like I've been doing everything wrong."

"What do you mean by that?" he asked, and then you could tell just how lost he was on all of this. Jeonghan had been away from all the mess you have been in for the last three weeks, so it made sense he was unaware of everything going on in your life from that night.

"There is a reason why Joshua agreed to the threesome," you shuddered with a mixture of embarrassment and anger. The realization flashed through his face, parting his mouth. "He knew about your feelings for me all along, but he also agreed because he wanted me to confront mine."

You immediately caught the way he opened his mouth, as if he were about to say something, maybe ask. But he blinked and the words never came out.

"I think..." you breathed in, mustering up strength. You thought of how badly you felt through weeks of thinking, of doubting and feeling like you were wrong. "Jeonghan, I also... feel something for you."

His eyes widened in an instant, and you could see he savored that brief moment, by looking at your eyes, very slowly trailing to your lips and then back to your eyes. It wasn't a suggestive reaction, it was just Jeonghan relishing the moment.

Even if you were being extremely vague with your words, he seemed to be knowing of what you meant and did not need for you to be more honest or to clarify. Which you also thanked him for. The least you wanted was to say things that would make you feel dirtier, or even guiltier if that could be possible.

"But I'm sorry that I misled you," you whispered, eyes brimming with tears. It was hard to breathe, to swallow.

"You never did," he said slowly. "I've always known."

"Know what?" you asked, your voice cracked and you sounded tiny.

His gaze softened at the sound of your voice. "You are like an open book, princess," he smiled with so much endearment that a warm wave of nostalgia coursed through you. "I've always known that you wanted me. But you're in love with Joshua. Not me. I'm okay with that."

His words crushed you, making you sob, dropping your gaze to the floor in complete shame and regret. "I'm so sorry, Jeonghan."

"I know," he replied with an ease coating his tone. "And I am sorry too. When Joshua told me what you wanted to do that night, I knew that Joshua had found out about me, but you didn't. It was cruel, what we both did."

"Why didn't you just tell me?" you reproached him between sniffling and wiping your tears with the hem of your sleeve.

"Princess, you're his girlfriend. My best friend's girlfriend," he stated the obvious. "Besides, that night you weren't completely sure about me. I knew that there was no way I could tell you about what I feel for you. I would lose you either way."

You nodded wordlessly. You already knew his answer before he even uttered it. There was so much that you had thought to tell him but in reality, you just felt trapped.

"I miss you, Jeonghan," you confessed, your voice dropping to a mere whisper, so quiet that you almost believed he would not be able to hear you.

"I miss you too," he replied, his lower lip protruding slightly in a small pout. "You have no idea. I miss us."

Then he sighed deeply in resignation, his fingers sliding around your wrist making you freeze in place upon contact. Jeonghan dropped his head forward, touching your forehead with his and closing his eyelids tightly.

"Jeonghan," you whispered in warning when you felt his breath caress your lips. But you could not bring yourself to be more commanding, to tell him to back away.

"I know, I know," he replied in kind. "I won't do anything, I just…"

His tongue slid between his lips before he pressed them into a tight line. You shuddered slightly when the hand that was not on your wrist came to touch your cheek, the pads of his cold fingers grazing your skin softly, making your eyelids flutter and close.

"It killed me to walk away from you," he confessed with a strain in his voice, making it break. "I think of you everyday, I want to talk to you, to see your face. I haven't been the same since I said goodbye to you. I'm lost."

You wanted to tell him that you also thought of him every single day. But that was not entirely true. It broke your heart to lose him, to think that you hurt him. It broke your heart to know that you had been equally lost since realizing that you loved him too.

However the reality was, in the time you did not speak to Jeonghan, you had someone to hold, to kiss. You were with Joshua night and day, while Jeonghan thought of you, missed you.

"Please forgive me," you whispered, swallowing your tears with some difficulty.

"You did nothing wrong. There was no way you could control this. It was me who came to your hotel room that night, knowing that it would be my only chance to be with you. I only regret that you weren't totally aware of my intentions. Mine or Joshua's."

That finished breaking your heart. Knowing that your boyfriend had betrayed you in such a way made you feel stupid. And to think that Jeonghan also knew about what Joshua had planned that night but still went on with it too.

The pain you felt made you recoil instantly, backing away from him. Jeonghan opened his eyes, probably encountering the pain written in the features of your face because his sweet gaze dimmed, realizing that you were hurting.

"I want to go home," you muttered.

You saw his lips part and braced yourself for him to apologize again, you were beginning to feel sick of it. You knew he was sorry, but somehow you needed more.

But Jeonghan just nodded, his hand leaving your wrist and reaching for the doorknob.

"Let's go," he whispered, and you assumed that he just kept his comments for the best.

You fidgeted on the ride back home, your fingers twisting the fabric of the sleeves of the hoodie you were wearing, telling Jeonghan how nervous you were to go back home when he darted a glance your way.

"Hey," he muttered softly when the car came to a stop in front of the building where you lived. He sighed and brought a hand to rub on his face in a sign of frustration. "Baby, I need you to listen to me."

Your stomach clenched at the sound of the way he called you. The first instinct that flashed through you was to plead with him to never call you that again, but right after you decided that his intention was not to flirt with you or to smooth you over.

Jeonghan loved you. And to some degree that you did not want to go over yet, you loved him back. It felt unfair to deny him that after all that you have been through with him. But it also felt unfair to your boyfriend, even if he said he was fine with all of this.

"Jeonghan," you whispered just as he was drawing in a breath to tell you whatever was on his mind. "Stop calling me baby."

"I'm sorry," he immediately said, blinking rapidly. The tiniest of smiles broke its way on his lips. "It slips."

You sighed.

"Listen to me," he repeated, unbuckling his belt and shifting on his seat to level with you. "Whatever happens in there, you can trust me if you want to talk about it. If you need me, I'll be there. Okay? I don't want you to feel cornered with all of this, with my feelings, your boyfriend and all. I might not be your friend anymore but I want you to know that you can trust me."

Your heart hurt at his words, and it probably showed in your face too because his gaze softened.

"We can't be friends anymore," he explained with an even softer tone. "I don't think we genuinely were for a time."

"Then why do you want me to trust you?" you asked, confused but your tone quivered and broke by the last two words, ending in a mere whisper.

"Because there is no one that could understand what you're going through right now," he whispered too, showing how tight the knot in his throat was, just like yours. "And I don't want you to go through this on your own. I also caused this."

"Stop it with the fucking guilt thing. You two," you gasped, shaking your head in disapproval.

"It's true," he reasoned, his eyebrows pinched slightly. "We're both idiots. Your boyfriend and I. We abused your trust."

"Maybe I shouldn't trust either of you," you muttered, scratching an invisible stain on the hem of your sleeve while trying to swallow your tears.

"Maybe," he whispered and you turned to see his face briefly. Jeonghan was still looking at you, his sweet brown eyes glistening in sorrow. "I am sorry."

"I know, Jeonghan," you nodded with your head, heart thumping so fast and hard that it ached, making you breathe erratically. "I forgive you."

Jeonghan released a short sigh after hearing your words. "Will you be able to forgive him too?"

"Do you really care?" you asked and as soon as the words got out you saw how offensive they seemed to be to him.

"Of course," he pressed his lips together in a tight line as he nodded reassuringly. "He is my best friend. I still care about him, you know."

"Even if you betrayed each other?"

"Don't see it like that he–," he paused, seemingly at thought. "He tends to sabotage himself."

You suddenly felt like you had reached a part of Jeonghan that you did not know thoroughly. A part that in all the time that you had shared together you barely saw of: him being Joshua's best friend. The person he knows best, and completely confides in. You thought you knew Joshua, but Jeonghan had years of experience with him.

And adding to that, Jeonghan is an excellent judge of character.

"What do you mean about that?"

"He has never been in a relationship before. Not like this," he began to explain. "He is jealous, possessive, yes. But the killing factor he has is that he is an overthinker. Whatever he does, he'll never feel good enough. He probably thought that I could give you what he couldn't when he went away, and that's what he asked me to do. To keep you company, to do things he wasn't able to do because he was in a different country… and when he understood that I fell for you and you for me, he did things to sabotage himself instead of talking to you."

"Why didn't you tell him anything either?" you dared to ask, keeping your tone calm but in reality you felt angered now at him.

"But I did," he replied. "I tried telling him that even though I kept you company, you felt ignored by him. Every time we talked about organizing your book party, I asked him to do anything to be there because I knew how crushed you were because he wasn't going. There is just no saving him once he feels he's not good enough."

Jeonghan rested one hand on the steering wheel with a sigh that you thought sounded like frustration, biting his lower lip and shaking his head slightly.

"But I was also selfish," he confessed, averting his sweet brown eyes to the front and away from your face in shame. "I thought that if he didn't try to save his relationship with you, if he continued like that, then I should risk my chances with you. It's fucked up, I know."

"And you never stopped to consider how I would feel?" you asked in utter rage.

"I did, all the time," he immediately replied, locking eyes with you. "I was selfish and stupid. I should've never done that. That is also why I couldn't bring myself to talk to you. I am ashamed."

"God, you two," you muttered, burying your face in your hands. "Why can't you two just be honest from the beginning?"

"You weren't completely honest either," he retorted, but his tone was kind. He leaned his head to one side to try and meet your eyes. "If things would've been different, do you think that you would've told me about your feelings? Would you have told him about it?"

"I don't know, Jeonghan," you whispered. "I didn't want to admit what I felt for you. Especially not under the circumstances that I did."

He pressed his lower lip to his upper, making tiny dimples appear on his chin. "I guess that we're all to blame here, not just your boyfriend."

"Maybe you should tell him that. He will need to hear it," you whispered as your fingers hooked to the door handle. "Thanks for the ride, Jeonghan."

"Don't thank me," he whispered, his eyes following you as you stepped out of the car.

"I'll... keep in touch," you muttered reluctantly before closing the door and walking beneath the light rain and into the lobby of the building, leaving a trail of wet steps behind.

The elevator ride was the longest that you have ever experienced in your life. Hands fidgeting on the sleeves of your hoodie, using them to wipe some droplets of water from your cheeks and forehead, knees bouncing slightly as you keep your eyes trained on the red numbering of the floor levels.

You rushed to your door, stopping before it to breathe in. After psyching yourself briefly, you opened the door, convincing yourself that you had to go through this if you wanted to save

Joshua was sitting in the living room, elbows placed on his knees, hands clasped tightly together. His eyes lit up when he saw you, but he made no move, no attempt to find out about your whereabouts yet.

You closed the door behind you, moving slowly towards him. "Hi," he rasped, his big eyes focused on you, searching your face.

"Can we talk?" you muttered hoarsely from what you assumed was all the crying continuously.

His entire demeanor was dimmed. The natural sparkle in his doe eyes was obscured by the sadness he carried. When you stood before him and he raised his face to see you, you noticed that his forehead and hair were slightly wet, some strands had collected droplets of water.

Had he gone out as soon as it started raining? You remembered in a passing thought how much he liked to take a walk whenever it rains.

"Yes," he nodded once and finally moved from his seat, straightening up and placing a hand next to him.

Tentatively, you walked to the couch and sat next to him, but far enough that your thigh did not touch with his.

"I uh..." you muttered awkwardly. "I'm sorry for leaving you like that."

"W-what?" he blurted and you saw the broken confusion in his eyes.

"I should have talked to you before leaving, Josh," you whispered shamefully. But some tears gathered in the corners of your eyes, telling on the quiet rage that you still felt towards him. "But I was so angry with you and really couldn't stay here."

"No, baby, don't apologize," he said sorrowfully, his dark eyes dimmed when he looked at your fidgeting hands. "You have all the right to be angry with me. I did wrong. I am the one that should be apologizing."

"Yes, I know," you whispered, sniffling loudly. "You've broken my trust, Josh."

Joshua went completely rigid, you saw the moment when your words robbed him of air and his eyes widened in pure fear. "No, no, no, please baby, I'm sorry. I never wanted to do that, I swear. Please, please, forgive me," he blurted quickly, almost as if he could not bring a halt to himself, his hands trying to grab yours but you retreated them on your lap.

"Don't," you muttered, pain soaring through you. But you pushed yourself on the seat, determined to stand your ground.

"Please," he whispered, tears brimming rapidly in his dark eyes and spilled. "Baby, please. I never... this is not–I never wanted to hurt you."

"But you did," you mumbled, trying with all of your might to not break when you saw him let out a sharp sob, you saw the pain in his teary eyes.

"I'm sorry, I truly am, baby. Please," he whispered, reading your face with a desperate glance. "I was blind. I acted out of jealousy. Please believe me when I say that I never wanted this to happen."

"Then what did you want, Joshua?" you asked, an equally despairing hint quivering your tone. "What did you get from all of this?"

"I... nothing," he swallowed hard, the features of his face darkening in a grimace. "I regret everything. I never wanted to hurt you, or Jeonghan."

At that, you were sure to be nearing a total breakdown, breathing rapidly but surprisingly, you kept your tone controlled. "Do you have somewhere to stay tonight, Joshua?" you asked, his big brown eyes raising to yours slowly reading the certainty in you.

"I–yes, I do," he nodded and kept his head down, teardrops landing on his lap, leaving two perfect spots on his blue jeans.

A silence flooded the room and you searched for something to say as you watched him cry silently. Something beneath all the rage ached to hold him, you ached to tell him that you forgave him for doing what he did. You wanted with all of your heart to tell him that you still loved him, and that you forgave him.

But you were still angry and hurt. You felt betrayed in some way you had never felt before. You thought that you could trust Joshua, you thought you were safe with him. After all that you have been through together, this cannot be the way he loses you.

"Tell me how I can trust you again," you whispered despite yourself.

"I won't do something like that again," he answered, much as if he had made that promise to himself before offering it to you. He inhaled deeply and raised his head to look at your eyes. "I promise."

Before you could bring out a response, Joshua moved from the couch and to the floor in front of you on his knees, his teary eyes raised to find yours. He anxiously licked his chapped lips, the lower quivering slightly as he drew in a breath, whispering your name afterwards.

"I felt insecure, I was irrational. I wanted him to get close to you, to be there for you when I couldn't but at the same time it drove me insane that he could even think that he had a chance with you and I wouldn't fight for you. I understand if you don't want to forgive me. I just want you to know that I regret everything..."

Joshua faltered in his tone and his words, dropping his gaze to your hands still resting on your lap. His lower lip trembled but it swiftly stopped when your hand slid on his cheek.

A perplexed look shot through the beautiful and sad features of his face, but as he blinked you saw how your touch seemed to calm the emotions that stormed within him.

He leaned his face against your hand on his cheek, closing his eyes briefly to let some tears slip and roll down his face. "I'm sorry," he whispered again, gulping hard, his warm hand pressing against yours to keep your touch against him. "I'm sorry, baby."

"I know," you muttered. "I'm sorry too. I never wanted to make you think that I didn't love you."

"No. I know," he frowned with genuine hurt showing in his eyes. "I know that you love me," he said with frustration lacing his tone: "But I was blind and stupid. I couldn't see past my jealousy and acted irrationally. I fucked up."

"Josh..." you whispered shakily, cupping his other cheek so you now held his tear stained face. "Why? What's happening?"

His eyebrows knitted, making faint lines show between his eyebrows. After reading your face confusedly, his features relaxed, seemingly knowing where your question was aimed at.

"I don't know if this will work," he whispered too, gulping hard and then took in a breath.

"This? Us?" you asked, your heart crushing over the finality you were reaching.

Joshua nodded slowly. "I'm leaving in three weeks. I have to go on tour and I don't know when I'll be coming back."

Your stomach twisted painfully. Something within you already knew something like this would happen again. This was part of your boyfriend's job, this was his life now.

But you wished for time to stop. The least you wanted was to feel lonely again while he was away on tour. The days and nights without hearing from him, keeping up with updates online to know about him, the missed calls, the unanswered texts...

If Joshua felt like your relationship would not survive the distance again, then you had no hopes either.

"So you're sabotaging it?" you asked, your tone had dropped and sounded tiny, almost fearful.

Your boyfriend heard the familiarity in your words, and he knew that you had spoken to Jeonghan about it because he simply nodded with his head, his lips pressing into a line.

You inhaled deeply, building yourself some courage before uttering a question you never thought you would be asking him: "Do you want to break up, Joshua?"

"No," he immediately replied, blinking away some tears. "No, baby. I don't."

A deep sense of realization invaded you. It seemed quite evident to you now. The way he rushed into talking about marriage, and eventually kids when he knew he would not be here anymore. Moving fast to secure you at his side, clinging onto you desperately.

"I want to get better," he sighed, slowly letting his forehead rest on your lap and a broken sob escaped him, shaking slightly as he muttered through a broken voice: "I want to be better for you, for us... I don't want to lose you."

Your hands moved to caress his head, and his back. You felt him cry silently in your lap, the fabric of your pants collecting his tears, his hands clenching on the fabric of your clothes.

"Joshua," you muttered softly, but after some seconds you knew he had not heard you. "Joshua, look at me."

He raised his head, the small curve beneath his eyes glistened wet in tears, his eyelashes clumped in the wetness too. You brought a hand to gather his tears, making him blink at you confusedly, as if he had not expected your touch to be so soft.

"I don't know if this will work either..." you confessed guiltily due to holding onto that thought for so long.

"W-what do you want to do?" he blurted before you could tell him what you were really meaning to say. "Do you want to break up?"

You pondered over the way he spoke those final words, his voice had dropped too, as if the weight of the question crushed his tone, reducing it to a whisper.

"No," you shook your head. "I want to make this work too, Joshua. I want to know how we are going to make our relationship work when you go away for tour."

"I think we need to talk about how to make this work now," he uttered his words slowly, going over each syllable carefully. "Can you forgive me?"

"I'm still mad at you. I wished you would've asked me before," you whispered reluctantly. "But I understand why you did it, everything. I never wanted to make you feel jealous, but I also understand why you did. I forgive you, Joshua."

It was as though you lifted an immeasurable weight from him. You saw his body shift as his shoulders went slack, and the features of his face relaxed, his tear filled eyes reading your face.

"Thank you. Thank you, baby," he sighed deeply, blinking his big teary eyes slowly. "I won't let you down again, I promise."

"Can you forgive me?" you asked, scooping the tears rolling down his cheeks with the back of your pointer finger.

"There is nothing to forgive," he replied, still looking up at you, still on his knees in front of you.

"But, I also betrayed your trust–," you blurted.

"Baby, you never did that. We've talked about this, I know that you love me. I know what you feel for him, and I'm okay with that," Joshua said with a controlled tone now, much as if he had thought about it a million times.

"How?" the question slipped as if you were suddenly robbed of air. "How can you be okay with this?"

He lowered his eyes briefly from your face, as if searching for his answer. "I know that what you have with me is special," he frowned a little, then swallowed hard again. "I know that your love for me is different from your love for him."

Just as you were about to repeat your initial question, it made sense to you. Upon seeing Jeonghan again, you knew that you loved him, but you also found out that you were not in love with him, not the same way that you were in love with Joshua.

Joshua closed his eyes briefly and let out a sigh that denoted the release of all the stress he had accumulated. "I thought I would lose you," he confessed with a low, but quivering tone. "I never thought I would feel that again."

"Again?" you whispered but the shadow of a memory came to your mind just as he nodded.

You would not know about this story if Jeonghan would not have told you about it. The story of the night when Joshua drank until he could not even think straight, and Jeonghan had to come to his rescue. Joshua thought you would not speak to him ever again, that he had ruined everything.

"I'm sorry, baby," he muttered, burying his face on your lap once again. "I overheard your conversation with Jeonghan that night... that's when I knew that what you felt for him was different. I was relieved, but I also felt bad. For you. For him. I understood that my jealousy was misplaced and that's why I told you that night that you could maybe try to work things out with him."

"You never told me that," you stated out flatly, frowning upon remembering that conversation when you saw Jeonghan crushed and walked out of the hotel room.

"I tried to," he whispered, dimples showing over his lips when he pressed them in a line. "I don't think you understood what I was suggesting."

"You said I didn't have to give him false hope," you remembered every second of that night, you had committed yourself to replay it over and over as a form of self-torture.

"I am sorry that I pressured you to confront what you feel for him in that way," he blinked slowly at you, much as if he had been depleted of all energy. The corners of his eyes were red and wet in tears, and it seemed that his brow had not relaxed from the minute you walked through the door.

"I understand why you did it," you mindlessly, almost instinctively wiped the tear that rolled down his cheek. "But I wasn't ready to face it, because I didn't want to admit it, Joshua. I never wanted to feel like I cheated on you in any way."

"I don't think that you cheated. Baby, I trust you," he replied confusedly, as if that part were evident. "I just didn't like the way he looked at you. I fucking hated the look on his face when he made you laugh. I hated that he could take you to dinner, he kept you company, he organized your party for the book release."

"But you asked him to do that," you said dumbly.

Joshua nodded. "I couldn't be there to do it myself," he pressed his lips together. He had stopped crying, but his dark and teary eyes glimmered when he raised them to look at you.

"Joshua, this is crazy," you whispered but somehow you conveyed the alarm that rang in your mind upon hearing his words.

"I know. And I'm going to fix it," he replied in kind. "I will, baby."

After a moment, Joshua got to his feet in a reluctant manner, slowly turning to the hallway that led to the bedroom. The air of finality still hung in the air, it clung to your heart like nothing else.

So you pushed yourself from the couch too, following him down the dark wall to the bedroom which had already been lit up by the lamp on the nightstand on your side of the bed.

"Joshua?" you called, and saw him on the corner of the room, standing by the drawers, your heart dropping when you saw him packing his clothes.

"Yes?" he replied softly, turning to see you standing by the door.

"What are you doing?" you asked, even though the answer was evident.

"I–I am packing some clothes," he explained, a light frown painting his face in clear confusion.

He resumed his task when you could not give him an answer. You had asked him to find a place to stay, in your anger and despair. But now you suddenly remembered the way you reprimanded yourself for the time he spent away, when his first tour left you feeling lonely and empty. You remembered the regret you felt over not being closer to him, despite all the mistakes you both made.

"Joshua... don't," you muttered, crossing the door of the bedroom and reaching his side.

He was just grabbing a pair of socks when you approached him, his curious eyes reading your face as he heard your words.

"I don't want you to leave," you blurted with a repressed sigh. "I'm sorry, I told you to look for somewhere to sleep tonight but I don't want you to anymore."

You felt a wave of remorse wash over you. You felt bad about playing with his feelings, about telling him to go, hurting him and then taking it back. But you could not bring yourself to regret not asking him to stay.

"Are you sure?" he asked with a low mutter, he sounded genuine, almost as if his mind had already found his resolve: "If you need to be alone tonight, I can go somewhere."

"Yes, I'm sure," you stammered. "I was hurt, I–I still am, but I don't want you to go," you sighed in frustration over your own words.

His eyebrows pushed up, looking lost for a second as he asked: "I can sleep on the couch, if you want."

"Joshua, I want you to sleep with me," you rolled your eyes to the ceiling now. "I–just please don't go anywhere."

"I'm confused, you said–"

With a sharp exhale, you reached his nape with a hand as the other cupped his cheek, bringing him for a heated, frustrated kiss. It was more like you crushed your lips against his, so hard to the point that it was almost painful to you.

"Don't go," you whispered shakily. "I'm sorry, Josh, I know this is confusing but–"

Joshua let out a short, strangled grunt in your mouth as his tongue rolled past your lips, his hand slipping in the curve of your neck to kiss you deeper, making you taste his sweet lips with a moan from your part.

You heard something drop to the floor, followed by the dry thump of the drawer slamming shut with what you could imagine was his other hand that joined the other at your neck.

"You drive me crazy," he sighed, it was not a passionate statement, as he has done many times before.

It was a torn confession, much as if he was completely relinquished to being in a maddened loop with you.

"I'm sorry," you whispered when you parted from his lips, your hands falling to grab his shoulders for support.

"No, don't be," he replied in kind, touching your forehead with his own. "I'd rather have you drive me crazy forever than us splitting up."

"Joshua, we need to get better at this," you muttered shakily, your hand moving from one of his shoulders to find his hand on the crook of your neck.

"We will," he asserted. "I love you. I don't want to hurt you ever again. I won't."

Some of his words sounded familiar somehow, you thought. You also thought of telling him that relationships do not survive on love alone. But in that moment, the deep craving for his affection and reassurance won over reason.

"I love you too," you replied.

Joshua sighed, the sound was broken, almost as if it fought to get out of his lips. Then you understood that it had been a sob. "Say it again, please."

"I love you, Joshua."

His lips grazed yours just before he kissed you again, slowly and tenderly. "I won't fail you again," he muttered, his tone quivering slightly.

"Do you promise?" you whispered, your lower lip quivering slightly under the emotional turmoil that shook within you.

"Yes, I promise," he replied in the same manner, his eyebrows pinching slightly when he saw your eyes brimming with tears. "I promise, baby."

"I'm sorry that my actions pushed you to do this," you muttered with a broken voice, as if you held onto that thought from the moment you knew how this all happened. "I should have never gotten close to Jeonghan."

"No, baby. Don't say that," he replied with a crushed tone. "I know that you never had intentions to hurt me. And that your feelings for him were pure."

His thumbs wiped away the tears that rolled down your cheeks as you sobbed quietly.

The sense of relief you felt when he said that overwhelmed you briefly, making you choke on your words.

"The moment that became clear to me, I regretted everything," he whispered. "I pushed you too far and I don't want to do that ever again, baby."

Then he pressed his lips on your forehead for a long second, small but affectionate kisses made their way down from your forehead to your temple, to reach the apple of your cheek.

"I love you so much, bunny. I know that your heart is big enough for the both of us."

At that, you started crying fully, big hot tears brimmed in your eyes as you sobbed in pain from all the guilt and remorse you had felt for weeks.

"Come here," he whispered, wrapping his arms around you and you dropped your head on his shoulder to find some support, your hands clinging onto his shirt. "I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry."

The sound of your cries and sobs filled the room, paired with Joshua repeating his gentle words over and over. He had started a gentle rocking motion from side to side, still holding you in a warm embrace.

"Do you want to lay on the bed?" he asked with a soft tone.

You nodded with your head still propped on his shoulder, sniffling quietly and trying to bring your cries to a stop.

"Okay."

You climbed on the bed first, slumping down on your designated side and waited for him to fill in his side.

But he stood before the bed. "Do you want me to bring you some water? Are you hungry?"

You smiled softly at him. "Water is okay."

"Sure," he muttered and walked out of the bedroom.

You took the moment to ask yourself what you wanted to do from now on. Your thoughts were scattered, between what you said to Jeonghan and what happened just now with Joshua. You knew that you loved them both, but you also knew that you wanted to be with just one of them.

Joshua came back carrying a glass of water, and you sat on the bed to take big generous gulps down. Your boyfriend stared at your face, his doe eyes slowly swimming over the features of your face with some sleepiness written all over them.

"Are you tired, baby?" you asked when he let out a big sigh.

The sweet tone laced all over your voice made him arch his eyebrows slightly, lifting his gaze to find yours before the corners of his lips rose slightly.

"Yeah, a bit," he admitted, but he looked now more amazed at the gentleness of your words. As if he were not expecting you to be caring for him after being mad at him.

"Let's go to sleep, alright?"

His brow furrowed ever so slightly, but he nodded. "Alright," he replied.

Then commenced what you usually did before going to bed. You stood from the bed and changed into the t-shirt that you had stolen from Joshua's drawers, and now used nightly. Joshua smiled softly upon seeing his oversized t-shirt on you, just as he started removing his clothes himself.

You were brushing your teeth when Joshua came to hug you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder and casting a look on the mirror in front of you to find your face. His demeanor was of a calmed anguish, his eyes were sad and tired, and you could tell that he still felt guilty over something.

But before you could ask about it, he pressed a kiss on your shoulder over his t-shirt, squeezing your waist with his hand as he reached out to grab his toothbrush, blinking slowly at you through the reflection of the mirror, probably noticing your curious eyes on him.

You pressed your lips into a tight smile and decided to wait for him on the bed, that way you could gather your thoughts before diving into questions.

You laid on your side of the bed, rethinking the conversation you had with Jeonghan. A shadow of guilt loomed over you when your thoughts inevitably found their way to the moment Jeonghan pulled you to that empty room, the way he seemed to be fighting against himself when he touched foreheads with you.

As soon as he slid beneath the bed sheets, your boyfriend searched for you to wrap his arms around your waist, effortlessly pulling you to him with a sigh that denoted some kind of relief that he was lying beside you.

"Are you okay, Josh?" you asked when you lifted your chin and found his gaze.

"I'm fine," he replied slowly, but his sad eyes did not let him lie to you.

"Tell me," you whispered, scooting on the bed closer to him to the point that your nose nearly touched his.

"It's nothing–I just," he slowly took in a breath, much as if he did that to combat whatever it was inside him that made him look so sad. "I don't want to go away for tour already. I wanted to stay here a bit longer. With you."

"We have three weeks left," you said, offering him some peace in the midst of all of the chaos.

"I wish I could give you more," he muttered, lifting a hand to caress your cheek softly. "I don't want to make you feel lonely at my side. I don't want to be away from you again."

"I know, baby," you whispered. "I don't want that either. But we'll get a hang of it, right?"

A sliver of hope seemed to glimmer in his dark eyes as he read your face slowly before nodding slightly with his head. "Yeah, baby. We will."

With some reluctance, you brought one hand to caress his chest, sending a glance to his face to catch any signs of discomfort. But he just quietly looked at you, his eyes trained on you as though he had missed your face.

"Sure you're okay?" you asked.

He nodded and grabbed your hand from his chest, kissing your palm tenderly to then press his lips on the pads of your fingers. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just thinking."

"About?"

He returned your hand to his chest, and you circled it back to his nape, playing with the strands of his golden brown hair with your fingers. "Did you tell Jeonghan how you feel?" he asked, darting a glance to your face swiftly.

"Y-yes, Josh. I told him about it," you blurted anxiously. "B-but nothing happened, he just grabbed my wrist and he… he–,"

"It's okay, baby," he muttered softly. "I don't mind if something happens between you."

"What?" you blurted incredulously.

"Baby, I've told you. Whatever you need to do when you're with him, do it, it's okay. I understand."

"Joshua," you muttered in a reproachful way. "You don't need to do that."

"But I mean it," he said with ease. "I don't want you to miss him and me when I go away."

You couldn't believe your ears. Maybe, your boyfriend was so tired that his mind had started to malfunction, sending weird thoughts to his mouth.

Joshua looked really tired from what you could assume was all the emotional and mental stress he went through thinking he would lose you. You thought of his words, of him saying that he wants to get better and now hearing that he would not take issue if you seek something with Jeonghan—

"You're crazy," you gasped.

Joshua let out a tired giggle, his hand slipping under your hair and cupping your nape. He crushed his lips against yours with a hum, backing away with a soft smacking of both your lips and his.

"Maybe," he rasped, pressing his lips against yours again. "But I mean it. If you need me to prove it to you, I will."

"Prove what–," you muttered but were quickly shut up by another kiss, and another.

You let out a laugh when his tongue sloppily slid between your lips as he kissed you languidly. His wet lips locked with yours kissing you tenderly, slowly, he hummed in your lips and you responded with your own, wordlessly telling each other of what you felt when your lips met.

"I love you," he whispered, his thumb and pointer finger pinching your chin to keep kissing you, he pressed his lips on the tip of your nose, then your forehead.

"I love you, Joshua," you replied in kind, littering kisses on his cheeks too, making him giggle softly when you kissed his studded eyebrow, the corners of his doe eyes.

He slid one arm beneath the curve of your neck, the other one snaking on the small of your back, thus hugging your body and pressing you to his. He continued littering your face with small kisses, he kissed your smile, and stilled when you cupped his cheek with your hand to bring him for a longer kiss.

You fell asleep not long after, breathing in the scent of his skin, pressing your lips on his throat. It was a short sleep, it happened regularly to you, being such a bad sleeper that when you woke up, you just sighed, knowing that it was one of those nights.

What you did not expect however, was that Joshua was awake too, apparently. The kiss he left on the crown of your head told you that much, just before he slid out of the bed sheets and walked out of the bedroom.

You heard the bathroom door close, followed by faint and muffled noises that you realized were kept at minimum to avoid waking you up.

Your boyfriend came back shortly, and upon seeing him enter the bedroom you decided to close your eyes, pretending to be asleep.

Joshua sighed when he reoccupied the space beside you, his hands searching for you quite immediately to hold you again.

You flinched as soon as you felt the cold and recently wet contact of his skin. "Cold," you whispered.

"Sorry," he muttered. "Did I wake you up?"

You hummed dismissively and scooped closer to him, humming happily when he wrapped your body in his arms again. One of his hands rubbed circles on your back over the large t-shirt you wore, you soon understood that he was doing that to soothe himself, not you.

His other hand found your hair, his fingers sinking in between the strands and raking through your scalp softly, making you sigh in the ecstatic feeling.

Joshua hummed sweetly when he heard your smile, moving his head to bump the tip of his nose against your forehead, egging you to lift your face to find his eyes.

What followed then was a long silence between you, soft touches here and there from both parts, you cupped his cheek , holding his dreamy gaze as your thumb caressed his lower lip, the rest of your fingertips grazing his cheek, his eyebrows.

Your boyfriend giggled sleepily when your hand slid from his face and a finger traced a line down his neck, feeling his Adam's apple bobbing slightly under your touch as he smiled at you.

He took the hand that was trailing down between his pecs now, taking it to his lips so that he could press tiny kisses on your knuckles and your fingers.

"Sorry, I'll let you sleep now," you whispered, abashedly.

"No, no," he muttered, negating with his head ever so slightly. "Keep going... please."

He released your hand by putting it back on his chest, urging you to keep administering sweet and tender touches to his skin. You smiled at him as you first pushed his golden brown hair back, making him blink a couple of times.

Joshua closed his eyes, sighing deeply when you caressed his cheek with the palm of your hand, his face relaxing so much you nearly thought he had fallen asleep.

But no, he was just relishing in your touch. It seemed as though feeling your hands on him, delivering soft touches, caressing his skin. You felt his chest swell slowly as you caressed his lean pecs, and you saw the features of his face relax.

His sleepy eyes outlined the features of your face quietly. "You're beautiful," he whispered, blinking slowly at you.

"Thank you, Josh," you giggled dismissively.

"I mean it," he whispered. "You're the prettiest girl I'd ever seen," he mumbled, pressing the side of his face against the pillow and closing his eyes.

"Go to sleep, baby," you replied.

"Mmn," he hummed as one of his hands slid on your cheek. "You have the prettiest eyes, and the softest lips," he mumbled against your lips, giving you a feathery kiss. "I love the sound of your voice. I love the smell on your hair, your neck."

Your heart stammered frantically. "Josh," you mumbled in between featherlight kisses.

"I love the way you say my name," his whisper had turned into a breathy growl now, his next kiss hungrier than the last. Your boyfriend grunted slightly as he took a breath, his kisses had dropped all delicacy.

You sneaked a hand beneath the bed sheets to find his naked torso, feeling the hard muscle of his lats, making him drown a moan into your mouth.

"Don't you want to sleep, baby?" he whispered, his lips grazing yours at each word he uttered.

"No," you replied, your body suddenly alight just as his hand found the hem of the t-shirt, pulling it upwards and finding your skin, and pressing on your lower back.

"Okay," he whispered, reciprocating your eager kisses one by one, responding to each of your tiny moans with his own.

"Joshua," you called breathily when his hand slipped from your lower back, circling your waist under your t-shirt.

"Yes?" he mumbled, pressing his fingertips on your skin in a gentle manner, the act was not suggestive in any way.

Even after all of the times you have been intimate with your boyfriend, you were still categorically bad at initiating sex. Joshua was normally the one who would ask, or straight up tell you what he wanted. You sometimes envied that.

Because at that moment, Joshua did not read your intentions as well as he usually did. A thing you attributed to the still very recent cathartic moment you both had.

Joshua hummed when you sank your lips between his, kissing him deeply, brushing his upper lip with the tip of your tongue, a hand threading on his hair, tugging at the golden brown strands suggestively.

"Bunny," he muttered hoarsely, you felt his body tensing as he backed away from your lips.

Your heart deflated quite instantly when you noticed that his eyes had regained some sparkle, but you did not see the hunger in them that you had expected. He still looked anguished, and tired.

"We don't have to do this," he mumbled gently after a second he took to scan your face.

"But I want to," you hated the way your tone sounded whiny and needy.

His mouth parted a little, drawing in a breath and you could tell that whatever he was about to say, he dismissed it mentally by blinking once. "Baby, we have to stop resorting to have sex to try and fix our issues."

"I–I am not trying to have sex with you because of that," you whispered shamefully, almost feeling hurt that was his immediate thought.

"Are you sure?" he inquired, pushing his eyebrows up.

"I'm sure," you muttered, nodding your head. "When you left for tour, I realized that I regretted not being more intimate with you. And you're le–leaving again in three weeks. I don't want to regret that all over again."

His gaze softened. "You never told me," he mumbled in a non-reprimanding way.

"I am telling you now," you whispered and tried not to roll your eyes at yourself. "I get what you mean when you tell me that you wished things were different. I wish that too, from my part. I want to get better too."

"We'll work on it," he asserted quickly. "I just don't want you to think that we can appease every difficult situation we have by having sex."

"But when you go away, I'll–I just don't want to feel bad because I didn't get to be as close to you," you whispered, now completely shrunk over the feeling of his rejection.

"Our relationship has been turbulent from the start," he conceded with a hint of sad realization. "And a big part of our relationship is having sex, I don't want us to use it as a form to cope with our issues anymore."

"I know," you replied in the same manner. "I just wanted..."

"What?" he egged you on when your tone faltered and your gaze wandered elsewhere.

"I want to make the most of the time that we'll have together. Before you leave," your voice sounded tiny, but you felt content that you could get your words out and locked eyes with him.

"I understand that you feel anxious about me leaving, I feel the same way. But we'll manage," he whispered. "I can come back on the week days, if the opportunity rises. Or maybe you can visit me, whatever comes first."

"But in the meantime?" you inevitably asked. "When you went away, I felt frustrated at myself because I couldn't be closer and intimate with you. And I don't want that to happen again."

He probably saw the troubled look in your eyes, or heard the remorse in your tone because the features of his face smoothed a little, releasing the tension over the worry he still appeared to have. "Come here," he placed his pointer finger beneath your chin before he met your lips with his own.

"Josh, please," you whispered in between tender kisses, your hands moved to cup his face, using the opportunity to kiss him fervently. "Please, I need you. I want to feel you."

You hated how pathetic you sounded, but there was no other way to convey with words the need to feel his love for you. You needed the ache to be sated by his touch, by his lips on you.

"Do you really want to?" he asked in a hoarse whisper, his kisses turning as fervent and needy as yours.

"Yes," you breathed.

Your heart fluttered in victory when Joshua gave in, his tongue outlining your lower lip as his kiss turned fiery, ardent in passion. His hands roamed all over your back, pressing you against his hard body.

You muffled a moan in his mouth when his hand climbing up one side of your back circled to the front, feeling your chest under your t-shirt, his thumb grazing over your pebbled nipple, the pad of his tracing a circle on your areola, the touch kept so light that it made you shudder.

You hoisted one leg over and curled it around one of his to pull him closer to your body. Your hands have dropped from his cheeks and had found his hard chest again, exploring his torso and his back just to hear his small grunts in delight.

"I could never say no to you," he whispered in between featherlight kisses he littered from your lower lip, down to your chin, commanding you to pull your head back, leaving him ample space to kiss your neck.

"Joshua," you called in a breathy moan when his lips pressed a wet and open kiss on your throat.

"Yes?" he propped one of his arms below the pillows, pushing his body on top of yours without lowering his weight on you.

Your hands reached his face again, and he immediately leaned his cheek against your palm, closing his eyes before pressing his lips on the pad of your thumb as you caressed his lower lip.

"C-can we skip foreplay?" you asked timidly, but commanded yourself to look in his dark, dreamy eyes. "I really need you right now, baby."

"Of course," he whispered, giving you a nod with his head.

He lowered his hips to meet yours, thus making you feel his warmth, making you notice the way he was slowly getting hard as he continued kissing you. His arms framed your head on the pillows, as yours circled him over his shoulders, fingers grazing the golden brown hair on his nape.

"Say you love me," he breathed, pressing his lips against your lower repeatedly.

"I love you," you whispered shakily. "So much."

The low grunt he exhaled sent a shiver down your spine, he leaned his forehead on yours before pressing more kisses on your lips. Then you suddenly felt a hand sliding down your waist, fingers hooking on the band of your undies, tugging them down.

Joshua pulled back, sitting back on his heels to get rid of your panties, grabbing them by the band and pulling them down your legs. You lifted your feet, pulling your knees together to help him get your panties out of your ankles.

As he placed his hands on the sides of your head, you sent a glance down his body, finding his erection pressing on the fabric of his boxers.

The moment was quiet, just the exchange of kisses, soft gasps when Joshua lowered his hips against yours, when your cold hands slipped on his lower back and under the stretchy gray boxers, feeling his plump ass.

You pulled his underwear down as you felt his bum with the palms of your hands, making him smile as he pressed more kisses on the corners of your lips.

His eyes were trained on your face, outlining your features, much as if he were memorizing every single inch of your skin, your eyebrows, eyelashes, and he kissed the tip of your nose affectionately.

"Oh god," you gasped when you finally pushed his boxers down just about enough so you could feel his erection pressing against your wet pussy, making you flinch quite dramatically.

Your fingers wrapped around the veiny girth of his cock, enjoying the look on his face change from a calmed and fiery need for you, to a fully darkened gaze by lust and love for you. He blinked repeatedly when you angled him to your pussy, rubbing his tip on the slippery wet folds.

You felt your lower lip falling open when you guided the bulbous head of his cock to your entrance, and he immediately started pushing in. His dreamy eyes locked with yours, holding your gaze as he sheathed himself in you, every naked inch of him stretching your walls in one go.

"God, baby," he exhaled deeply, his eyebrows pinching in a gesture of pleasure. "You're so wet," he whispered, placing one arm over your head to support his body.

His other hand cupped your face, urging you to hold his gaze as he started rolling his hips on you, dragging his cock out and pushing it back in you tortuously slow, filling you up deliciously.

But you had realized that you did not care about pleasure at all.

"I love you," he whispered. Blinking languidly at you, the love in his eyes was undeniable, the smile he showed you making your heart flutter erratically.

"I love you," you replied, your hands roamed all over his back, feeling his hard muscles tense and relaxed as he pushed his hips against yours.

You wrapped your legs around him just as he moved the hand cradling your cheek to the other side of your head, thus now framing your head with his arms.

"My heart is yours," he muttered, his eyes reading the features of your face.

He pressed his lips on yours before you could muster a response, you had choked up on a sudden explosion of emotions, love, adoration, so violent and so tender at the same time that you had to muffle a sob in the kiss you shared with him.

"I am so in love with you," he whispered, breathing raggedly on your mouth.

Joshua nudged the tip of his nose with yours before meeting your lips with his own.

"I'm in love with you too, Josh," you muttered, your hand caressing his cheek and moving up to push his hair back.

The corners of his lips curved slightly into a sweet smile, his eyes looking at your face lazily, almost as if he were only kept awake by the overwhelming love and adoration he felt for you.

"Like this?" he asked softly when he rocked his hips against you in a different way, pushing inside you deeper, and slower.

You nodded wordlessly, losing yourself in the calm lust in his dark eyes.

"Kiss me, please?" you asked in a mere whisper.

He obliged immediately, locking his plump lips with yours, the tip of his tongue pressing on your lower lip, slowly rolling it into your mouth to meet yours.

Joshua moaned into your mouth, the rocking of his hips stuttering momentarily. "God," he sighed, dropping his forehead on yours gently, slowing down his thrusts as if to keep his own pleasure from building.

"No, no, keep going, please," you pleaded, realizing what he was doing.

"I'm close," he giggled shyly, pressing small kisses on your lips. "I'm sorry, baby. I really like it when you kiss me. Drives me crazy."

"I like it too," you replied, smiling fondly when you were reminded that your boyfriend could come from kissing you alone. "Please keep going, Josh."

"But I want you to feel good too," he mumbled, dragging his wet cock out of your walls despite the frustrated groan that elicited from you. "Just give me a second, baby," he said with a breathy giggle.

He used a hand to pull the t-shirt you stole from him up to your chest, his other arm supporting his body shifted on the pillows when he leaned down to litter your exposed breasts with wet kisses.

Your legs fell from his body and you lowered them back to the bed to see him move his body to get rid of his boxers completely. Then he crawled back to you to pay attention to your now naked breasts. His mouth wrapped around one of your nipples, giggling in response when you flinched dramatically.

"Josh, baby, please," you whined when the tip of his tongue swirled around your nipple, then moved to the other.

Joshua lifted his head to show you a smile, hovering on top of you to slot his hips between your thighs again, using one hand to align his cock to your pussy, slipping inside you again with a guttural moan from his part that vibrated on your chest.

You closed your eyes and buried your head on your pillows, swallowing back a moan when he started pushing in and out of you again. The pleasure you got from this was different to other times, but you were happy with just feeling him inside you, filling you up, every single inch of his body flushed against yours.

"Look at me, sweetheart," he mumbled when you were losing yourself on the blissful pleasure from his cock massaging your walls.

You opened your eyes again to see his face. Joshua smiled at you when your eyes met. "Don't close them again," he instructed with a caution lacing his tone.

You nodded your head in affirmation.

His arms cradled your head gently, his body now caging you in. "Move your knees up," he instructed and you did what he asked, lifting your feet off the bed and moving your knees back, thus angling your cunt for his thrusts.

The position made it so that you could feel his cock reaching a glorious spot within you. Your eyes widened slightly when you moaned, and he nodded.

"That's it. Feels good, doesn't it?" he mumbled with ragged breaths.

"Yeah, so good," you nodded frantically.

Joshua smiled sweetly at you, leaning to kiss your forehead. "I love you, baby."

Your hands grabbed his strong biceps, anchoring them for support as your thighs began to shake. "I love you," you replied in a whiny moan. "So, so much."

You felt his hips stutter again as a short breath escaped and brushed your lips. "Don't ever leave me," he whispered his plea.

"Never," you replied, your heart breaking over the way it seemed that his words escaped his mouth before he could hold a rein to them.

"I promise I'll get better," he muttered, once again touching your forehead with his as if he wanted to melt into you, latch onto you.

"I won't leave you, Josh," you mumbled with a pained chest, breaking over the look on his face, the broken sound of his voice. You were suddenly overcome with the need to take his pain away. "I promise."

"I can't live without you," he whispered, your cheek rubbed slightly with his and you felt a wetness smearing in your skin.

"Baby, I won't leave you," you replied in a hoarse whine, swallowing your tears. "Not now. Not ever. I'm yours."

"And I'm yours," he whispered back.

You cradled one of his cheeks with your hand, bringing him closer to kiss him, his breath hitched audibly when your lips touched his. He kissed you but briefly, because he started calling your name repeatedly, urgently.

"I'm close," he mumbled. "God, baby, please tell me your close."

You shook your head silently.

"Okay, okay," he sighed, one arm moving from your pillow, stopping the thrusts of his hips to hook his forearm beneath your knee, hoisting it up his shoulder and leaning forward.

Then he pressed his body on yours again, his cock reaching deeper than before, drawing out a wail from you so loud that you had to clamp your mouth shut with one hand.

"No, no, no, baby," he whispered languidly, growing more and more tired on top of you. "Let me hear you."

"Josh, please, please don't stop," you whined, tears brimming in the corners of your eyes but now from pure pleasure building rapidly inside you.

The position made it so that you felt fuller than before, you felt him push every single inch of his cock inside your walls, you felt him drag his cock in and out perfectly.

Joshua blinked sleepily, his dark eyes trained on your face to see any signs of discomfort. "Like that?" he asked, though he knew that you were already about to come.

"Yes, god, yes, please," you hissed, blinking your tears away but you did not tear your gaze from his.

Your boyfriend smiled fondly at you, he leaned his head to one side slightly, and you immediately brought one hand to cup his face, receiving one kiss on your palm.

You had reached a point where the pleasure was nearly overwhelming, making you moan pathetically every time he pushed his cock inside you.

"I'm there," you blurted. "Joshua, I'm g-gonna come."

Joshua nodded. "I'll come with you, baby," he whispered with some strain on his voice.

The vein popping in his forehead told you that he was growing tired. But Joshua did not falter in the movement of his hips, he did not slow down or change the depth of the thrusting of his cock inside you. His beautiful eyes trained on you the whole time.

"I love you, Joshua."

He blinked rapidly, his mouth parting to let out a tiny grunt. "I love you," he replied in kind.

You closed your eyes briefly as you were washed by the gentle and sweet waves of pleasure. "God, Josh..." you whispered, the grip on his bicep tightening as your orgasm overtook your body, making you writhe and arch your back on the bed.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," he whispered over and over, when you opened your eyes to find his, you saw the tears gathering in them. He came with you, his brow furrowing deeply, his mouth parting and letting sweet moans spill from his lips.

The last thrusts were sloppy, pushing his cum deep inside you and slumping his body on yours when he could not keep going any longer. He groaned in exhaustion, hiding his face on the curve of your neck, breathing in your smell, babbling nonsense, pressing kisses on your collarbone.

You wrapped your arms around him, lowering your shaky legs back to your bed, embracing the weight of his body on top of you, his warmth and the scent of his skin. Your hands caressed his body, waiting for him to come back to you.

"Sorry, I got carried away," he sighed, lifting his head from your shoulder, still breathing heavily.

"You were good, Joshua," you assured.

"Did you like it?" he asked with genuine curiosity.

"Y-yes," you stammered confusedly. But then it dawned on you that there were so few times you had vanilla sex with your boyfriend, you could count them in one hand. "Absolutely. Did you?"

He giggled. "Absolutely," he whispered. "Let me take care of you now, okay?"

"C-can we just stay like this for a bit?" you asked, your hand had made its way to his face once again, and you were pinching his chin softly.

"Sure," he said, pulling out of your wet walls carefully to not make you spill his cum immediately.

Joshua rolled back on the bed with a short sigh, lying next to you now, you felt his hand searching on the bed, finding your own to lace his fingers with yours.

"You're okay, bunny?" he asked, taking your hand to kiss your knuckles.

"I'm okay," you reassured, nodding your head on your pillow. "You?"

"I'm alright," he replied in kind, his lips curving into a tiny smile. And he looked tired still, but not nearly as sad as he looked before.

"Sure?" you asked with some caution.

"I'm sure," he whispered, shifting to lie on his side, placing one arm over your head on the pillows, he sent a glance at you. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," you nodded, now you were beginning to feel the waves of slumber starting to drag over you, making you stifle a yawn.

"What happened?" he whispered, lazily blinking, trying to keep awake. "With Jeonghan. What did he say?"

Your breath coiled in your throat. "We just t-talked, Josh," you stammered. "He told me how he feels over this whole situation. I told him how I've been feeling too."

"And how do you feel now?" his eyes raised to find yours, and you found out that he was genuinely curious.

"I don't know," you replied. "He sort of... left an open invitation for me to talk if I need it. But we won't be friends anymore."

Your voice broke in the final words and you had to look away from your boyfriend's face briefly.

"I'm sorry to hear that, baby," he whispered, and there was some warmth in his words when he uttered them.

"It's okay," you breathed. "I think this is for the best."

"Do you really think so?"

For a moment, you felt somewhat perplexed that you were having some sense of normalcy in talking to your boyfriend about what happened with Jeonghan. But that was just what it was, a normal, honest conversation with him.

"Yeah," you breathed. "We won't be seeing each other and this way I won't hurt him anymore."

"But is that what you really want?" he inquired with a low tone that told you he knew you were still sensitive about that.

"Mmm no," you confessed: "I wish we could go back to what we had before all of this but..." you rolled your eyes to the ceiling, trying to keep the looming sadness at bay. "I know now that we were not genuine with our friendship for a while, so... maybe it's best if we don't see each other again."

Joshua remained quiet for a long while, and when you saw his face again you saw that he had not fallen asleep, as you initially thought. He seemed deep in thought for a second, so you decided to drive his attention back to the present.

"I never told you this but I feel bad that you two aren't on speaking terms anymore, Josh. Do you think you can forgive him?" you whispered coyly, dreading to cross a line that you had not in all this time.

"No," he sighed, shifting on the bed so he was lying on his back again, tucking one arm under his head. "I don't know. It's not whether I can forgive him or not anymore, baby. I brought him and you closer, I knew he was in love with you the night of the threesome. I think that if we are going to move past this, then we need to talk about it, me and him... and you."

You huffed in disbelief for a second. "W-what?" you blurted. "You want me in that conversation?"

"If we are going to do things right from now on, I think that we should include you in that conversation when we have it," he whispered, stretching one arm to you when you scooted over, snuggling close to his body.

He wrapped you with one arm, sighing softly when you leaned your head on his chest, his fingertips started tracing invisible lines on your arm.

"When do you think you'll be ready to talk then?" you pried.

"Mm, soon. Maybe," he muttered, giving you a reluctant and fleeting look. "I... didn't tell you this, but I saw him just yesterday when I asked him to hear you out."

You lifted your head to meet his eyes. "Y-you did that?"

"I did," he whispered guiltily, sending his gaze to the ceiling. "I don't need to forgive him, baby. There are some things I just can't control. Jeonghan's only fault was that he thought he could fall in love with you without caring that I would resent him for it.

"B-but there's something I don't understand," you stammered, trying to ignore the hollow feeling in your chest when you heard those words with such ease.

"What is it?"

"You say you don't mind my feelings for him... why do you do his?"

His fingers circled your arm softly, stopping his gentle caress on your skin. "Because I get jealous, bunny," he whispered. "I can't stand the thought that he gets to know your secrets, he gets to make you laugh, and I know how that feels for him, so yeah, I am not too keen on him being in love with you."

"B-but you had no issue that night in the middle of it," you interjected, feeling more confused than before.

Joshua sighed and for a brief moment you considered finishing the conversation so that he could sleep. But it was not a sigh of tiredness, it actually denoted some kind of frustration, as if he himself battled with the answer to your question.

"I liked it," he muttered, avoiding your eyes still. "I guess that I liked seeing how much you enjoyed it, it turned me on to watch you. It turned me on to think that you were fulfilling one of your fantasies with me. I don't know. It confuses me too."

You remained quiet, trying to imagine his perspective on that night.

"I also liked that I got to see a part of you I hadn't until that night," he added after some seconds of silence. "You know, when we met, you were timid and I loved that, but seeing you more confident, and vocal with what you wanted made me even more attracted to you."

"So you didn't hate the whole experience?" you asked with a tiny voice, sneaking a look at his face.

"I didn't hate it, baby," he giggled, moving his hand from your arm to your head to thread your hair with his fingers. "I enjoyed every second of it."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Baby, you really have no idea of the effect you have on me," he sighed with a lazy giggle, feeling closer to a sweet slumber. "I really liked it. I found it very hot. I think if the circumstances were different, I'd do it again."

The last words he uttered seemed trampled by the sudden realization from his part. He was alarmed for a second, as if jerked awake by his own confession.

His immediate reaction was to look at your face. But you had your eyes closed, your cheek was squished by his shoulder and you had already begun to breathe deeply, your eyelids fluttering slightly when he moved his head back to his pillow.

Joshua exhaled in some kind of relief. But a sharp feeling inside his chest warned him of holding back this confession to you. He did not want to withhold things from you again, but he also had no clue as to what to do with this confession.

What did this imply for him? What circumstances?

Joshua twirled his keychain on his fingers mindlessly, the pad of his thumb brushing over the bunny figurine he had bought one day, long ago. He saw it and immediately thought of you, and got it so that in some way, you would be with him wherever he went.

The Spot was the same as the last time he visited two weeks ago, when he quite practically ambushed Jeonghan and asked him to talk to you.

That seemed like forever ago and not merely two weeks. Now, Joshua was closer to leaving for tour, closer to his band's first studio album release. So he was getting ready, busy with work, which he found a blessing, because he did not want to pay attention to his turbulent thoughts at the moment.

The music was kept at a low volume, but loud enough that he did not register the noise from the movement behind him. So he flinched in surprise when Jeonghan sat down on the barstool beside him with a loud sigh.

Joshua looked at his best friend once and clicked his tongue.

"What, I can't pull the same tricks you pull on me?" Jeonghan smirked, confidently stretching one arm over the bartop to reach for Joshua's bottle and took one big gulp.

Joshua sent a dry look across the bar to find its owner, sitting on the last booth of the place, overseeing something on his phone. Seungcheol darted a glance his way, visibly suppressing a devious smile.

Joshua shook his head at him in disapproval.

"What do you want, Jeonghan?" he dragged his words in an irked way, but he could not help but feel stupid.

He knew Jeonghan too well, he should have expected something like this would happen.

"I want to know," he started, lifting a lithe hand at Wonwoo and nodding his head at him meaningfully. "Did you guys make up?"

"We did," he nodded, hating the fact that he no longer felt confident of speaking about you with him. "Why?"

Jeonghan shrugged, smiling passively at Wonwoo when the beer and soju got to his hands. "Because you're a pain in my ass and I want to make sure I won't be bothered by this ever again."

Joshua immediately knew his best friend was not being completely honest. The bite in his words told him that much. "We made up. We're fine."

"Pffft, okay," he huffed, mixing the soju and beer in his glass expertly and then he drank it whole in two big gulps. Placing the empty glass and meeting his gaze. "And when you leave again? What happens then?"

The reminder made his stomach churn. "Then I'll leave," Joshua read his best friend's face again. Sensing that his answer had been unfulfilling he sighed. "I actually wanted to talk to you about it, but... I've been busy."

It was not a lie. He had been caught up with so much work for the past two weeks he had not even had the chance to even think about the last conversation he had with Jeonghan. And even so, he did not want to think about the night he talked to you about it.

"Talk about what?" Jeonghan asked, stopping the task to refill his glass.

"I... I have a proposition to make to you," Joshua enunciated slowly and sent a glance around himself and Jeonghan.

"Oh no," he sighed, his shoulders slumping down a little. "I am done with your fucking ideas, Joshua. Please, keep them."

"Just, hear me out," Joshua turned on his seat to face his best friend. Upon seeing eye to eye with him, something happened that he was not expecting. He felt a sudden surge of excitement.

"Whatever it is, I don't wanna hear it," Jeonghan huffed, his mouth pouted a little and turned his palms to the ceiling. "I just ambushed you so that you could tell me that all of this is behind us."

What Jeonghan meant by the word he heavily emphasized, was just both of them. And Joshua seemed vexed that after all of this, he still was looking for a friendship, to remain as before.

But of course, Joshua thought one second after. Jeonghan was the best friend he has ever had the opportunity to meet. He is so fond of keeping his friends close that even falling in love with you does not seem to deter him from it.

Maybe you are right, he thought. Maybe Jeonghan and him were crazy.

"Fine," Joshua sighed and turned back to face the bartop, fingers toying with the neck of his beer bottle. "Forget it."

A long silence followed, Joshua remained dead set on staring at his keychain still resting on the lacquered bartop.

"Ok, now I want you to tell me," Jeonghan urged.

"No, no," Joshua muttered indignantly. "You're right. Let's put this behind us, yeah?"

"Tell me," Jeonghan insisted with a tone that Joshua hated to hear and then: "Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me..."

"Okay, okay!" Joshua let out a light giggle, turning to his best friend, whose eyes lit up at the sight of Joshua smiling at him after what had been so long it must have been ages. "I'll tell you!"

"I'm listening," his brightened eyes looked over the smile, expecting.

"But not here," Joshua stated, leaning back slightly on the barstool and pulling out his wallet.

"Are you really going to do that again?" Jeonghan huffed in feigned annoyance. "Let me finish my drink first, at least. Damn."

Joshua pulled out a couple of bills, covering Jeonghan and his drink.

"Be quick," Joshua nagged too, laughing again when his friend just rolled his eyes at him, but still gulped down the last contents of his glass.

"Fuck, you're desperate," Jeonghan said upon lowering his glass heavily, sighing in satisfaction after downing a beer and soju.

"Come on," Joshua grabbed his keys again.

"Hold on," he heard his friend gasp behind him, falling into step with Joshua's long stepping.

"Did you bring your car?" Joshua asked as he pushed the door, letting Jeonghan exit the bar first.

"No, I was planning on getting drunk tonight," Jeonghan replied with an annoyed hint in his tone.

"Good," he nodded, unlocking the doors of his white van he bought when Midnight Haze was still considered a local band, and needed to transport their instruments, particularly, Jihoon's drum set.

"Where are we going?" Jeonghan asked as he opened the door to the copilot seat.

"We are picking Bunny up," Joshua checked his phone. "She's with some friends, we're a little late, actually."

Jeonghan had a reaction that Joshua partly expected. He initially bristled mid putting his seatbelt on. But then, after getting comfortable on his seat, Jeonghan sighed.

"I think I'm beginning to comprehend where this is going," Jeonghan said, and sent him a look. "Joshuji, this is not a good idea."

"You haven't even heard my proposal out."

"And I already know it'll suck," Jeonghan clicked his tongue in resignation as Joshua started to drive. "God I should've had another drink."

Jeonghan glanced his way when that elicited another faint laugh from him. "Me too, man. Me too."

Joshua tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, following the rhythm to the song playing on the radio. Jeonghan hummed to the song absentmindedly too, his soft voice filling the silence between them too.

They were both very evidently avoiding the subject. Joshua felt that sooner or later, his best friend would bring it up.

"Have you... told her about what you're planning?"

"Uh, we had a conversation about it," he muttered idly, eyes set on the road, his hand steering the wheel as he pulled the van to the curb, turning the engine off.

"Joshua," he dropped his tone to a low rasp, drawing Joshua's eyes to him. "I don't think this is a good idea. I don't know what your plan is but... Let's not do things harder for her, yeah?"

"It won't make things harder," Joshua reassured his best friend, though he did consider the worry in his entire demeanor, the way it shifted rapidly to the point that Joshua thought Jeonghan was about to run away.

He had pulled up in front of an apartment complex in a beautiful neighborhood. Jeonghan looked around from the copilot seat, leaning forward to look up at the tall building he presumed you were in with your friends.

Joshua sent you a text letting you know he was there, and he also added that Jeonghan was there too.

"She's here," Jeonghan whispered, undoing his seatbelt.

You were smiling to one of your girlfriends as you walked out of the building, you waved at her goodbye and turned to walk towards the white van parked in front of the building.

Joshua swiftly got out of the van, and Jeonghan saw your face lit up at the sight of your boyfriend, making his stomach twist and his entire body burn.

You reached out to give him a sweet kiss. "Hi, handsome," you muttered happily.

"Hi, beautiful," Joshua sighed. "Hey, did you check your phone?"

You instantly palmed the pockets of the long skirt of your dress. "Uh, what, no, why," you looked alarmed for a second. "Wait, here it is," you pulled out your phone from your pocket.

"Baby," he was just about to tell you what the contents of his message read but he forgot just how fast of a reader you are. With just one glance at the phone screen your eyes widened, immediately sending a glance to the van.

Jeonghan pressed his lips into a flat, dry smile when your eyes met with his.

"What is going on?" you asked, each word uttered slowly.

"Let's go home, okay? We're going to talk," he muttered, nodding to the van.

Joshua pinched your chin gently to drive your gaze back to him.

"Babe, what have you told him?" you asked with an alarmed hint in your tone, rushing your words out.

"Nothing yet," he muttered.

You stared at him for a long second before turning to walk up to the van, opening the door and climbing onto the pilot side of the bench seat, then scooping right up to the middle, your thigh brushing Jeonghan's.

"Hi," you whispered nervously, eyes set to the front. You had to squeeze your thighs together to avoid brushing with Jeonghan's.

"Hi," Jeonghan replied, noticing you seemingly vexed so he offered you a smile devoid of happiness that vanished a second later.

Because you had to come to terms with the idea that Jeonghan did not see you as a friend anymore, and had not seen you as a friend for a while. It had broken your heart but you were better off knowing that he would move on. Or so you thought.

And now, you had to think about what stance you were going to take. Sitting there on the bench seat of the van, pressed between the two men that you loved. No one said a word for the whole ride home , and you did not dare deter your eyes from the road ahead of you.

As soon as you crossed the door to your apartment, you immediately picked up the forgotten mug on the coffee table, the napkin by its side stained with your lipstick smushed in it and deposited it in the kitchen sink and bin respectively.

"Baby, leave that," Joshua muttered when you grabbed the fresh sheets that you folded and left on top of the armrest of the couch; a task that you had left for when you came back.

You made no reply, in fact you seemed to be anxiously cleaning to psych yourself up, thinking that whatever your boyfriend was planning to say, you could take it.

"Make yourself comfortable," you said while busying yourself with another imaginary task now.

Jeonghan shrugged and chose to sit on the sofa, that way he could follow your movements, so there he sat, quietly observing whatever you were up to.

Meanwhile, Joshua let out a sigh and shook his head, following you to the kitchen as you emptied the contents of the dryer, your arms cradling a bundle of fresh clothes, both yours and your boyfriend's.

"Bunny, give me that," he muttered with a gentle tone, scooping the clothes from your arms before you could even say no.

"I had it," you muttered anxiously and raised your head to glance his way.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his tone dropping to a mere whisper. "I thought you'd be happy to see him."

"What?" you gasped in a sharp hiss: "I never said that, Joshua!"

"Let's just sit down and talk, okay?" he suggested, his eyes full of worry when he saw just how anxious you had grown that you had to turn to doing chores to try and calm yourself down.

"I don't know if I can do this, Josh," you breathed so nervously that your breathing had turned shaky.

"I should leave."

Your breath hitched audibly. Jeonghan was standing by the kitchen's entrance, shoulder leaning to the wall, arms crossed and a passive expression on his face.

"I told you this would make it worse," he chastised, giving a stern and cold look to your boyfriend.

Joshua pressed his lips into a flat line, looking at his best friend and then sending a quick glance at your face. He nodded sharply.

Jeonghan nodded back in an unspoken agreement and pushed himself off the wall, taking a step towards the door.

"No, wait," you immediately muttered nervously. "Wait, just... Just give me a minute, please."

He paused, though hesitantly. "You don't have to do this. I can go, and we can forget that I was even here."

That was something that you did not want. And both men saw it in the way that your frame tensed up and your brow furrowed slightly. "No, no, don't go, I can... If you just give me a minute, I..."

Jeonghan seemed to grow worried when your tone faltered in defeat. You yanked your gaze from his face and sent it to the floor, mind reeling in search of something to say.

"Baby, help me get this to the bed," Joshua nodded to the socks that had fallen off the bundle of clothes he cradled in his arms. You immediately read that as an attempt to pull you to an even more secluded part of the apartment.

You picked up the socks from the floor and followed Joshua to your bedroom, where he discarded the clothes in the empty hamper that you had forgotten on the chair beside the .

"Listen to me," he whispered, cupping your chin with one hand to command your eyes to his. "Breathe, we're just going to talk, okay? About everything."

"You should've consulted me about this!" you retorted indignantly, thinking that your boyfriend had crafted a plan with Jeonghan behind your back. "I thought we had agreed on not hiding stuff from each other!"

"In fairness, this was all spontaneous," he muttered, realizing how his response sounded, he shook his head slightly. "We sort of crossed paths while I was at the bar and I wanted to have this conversation with you involved, so."

You looked at your boyfriend for a long second, then you considered giving him a chance to carry out what he had in mind. "Okay, but you and I are going to talk about this afterwards," you stated firmly and turned your back to him, walking out of the bedroom.

Jeonghan had occupied the left side of the couch again, lifting his head up when he heard your feet shuffling from the hall, his eyes following you as you sat down on the sofa, decidedly far away from him.

Joshua came onto view a second later, stopping when he saw that you had chosen to sit on a spot where he could not sit next to you. So he sat on the couch next to Jeonghan, on the spot that was closer to yours.

You knew that both men were observing your movements, your face, reading every single reaction from you. You let out a puffy sigh, denoting your tiredness from their controlling and manipulative tactics.

"I don't know how to say this. So I should just try to get to the point," Joshua started reluctantly, rubbing the palms of his hands on his jeans. "I am leaving soon, I'm going to be traveling around a lot again and I don't know when I'll come back. And you know this already baby, but Jeonghan doesn't know that I don't want you both to be distant because of me."

Jeonghan was the first to have a visible reaction, his eyebrows jumped up slightly, and he turned his head to one side to look at your boyfriend.

"You what?"

"This is going to sound crazy but," he sent you a quick glance in a sign of nervousness. "We can–we can maybe–I've been thinking that when I'll go away, you'll be alone again and–"

"Just spit it out, Joshua," Jeonghan cut off with a hint of annoyance. You had never heard him speak in such a snappy way. But you also understood why he would.

"I'm thinking that maybe we can work something out together. Us three," your boyfriend blurted out with a hollow sigh at the end of his sentence, much as if he were dying to get it out, for days.

"Joshua..." you began with caution laced in your tone, darting a glance to Jeonghan sitting beside your boyfriend and noticing that he had tensed up, you tried to intervene. "Baby, this is probably not a good idea."

An awkward, tense moment followed. Joshua and Jeonghan looked at each other and you realized that they were only waiting for your response, as if that were the only thing that mattered, really.

"Wait," you whispered, feeling dumb for not catching on sooner. Jeonghan read your boyfriend's face swiftly, and you saw in his demeanor that he was not as outraged or combatant as you initially thought he would be.

Both of them turned to you at the same time, in perfect synchronicity. A shiver ran down your spine, and you wished to have the power to know what they were thinking, what they had communicated with just one single look exchanged between each other.

"What are you even saying?" you blurted bewilderedly. "Joshua, are you crazy? I thought you didn't like this, I thought you hated the idea of Jeonghan liking me–"

"And I do," he shrugged and you could tell how uncomfortable he was by the way that his expression changed, grimacing. "But I also... I can't stop thinking that I..."

He placed his elbows on his knees, burying his face on his hands for one brief moment and at that, you wanted to call this off. You wanted to say that you were done talking about this. But you were not.

"I can't stop thinking that I want to do it again," Joshua said as he raised his head once again, looking at you now with a certainty that stopped your blood cold in your veins. "I want this. I don't know how, I don't know why. But I want this."

Silence.

The first thing that finally broke the tension was Jeonghan huffing loudly in disbelief. He shook his head and grinned as if to himself, and you knew that he already had a quippy retort waiting on the tip of his tongue.

"Want what, Joshua?" you muttered with a restlessness that made your tone quiver.

"I want you with me. And him. At the same time, separately. However you want, you decide," he glanced at his best friend once and it shook you to your core to know that he did not need a verbal confirmation from him. That look had been enough.

"As in... sex?" you shook your head when you realized when you were entertaining his idea, but you needed to know what his exact thinking was.

"As in everything. As long as you're comfortable with it."

Then it hit you, that night you were both talking late at night, the way that he told you he liked the threesome, the way that he seemed to be confused about it himself.

"This is crazy, Joshua."

Jeonghan also seemed to be uncomfortable by this, covering his eyes with one hand. "It is crazy," he dropped his hand back to his lap. And though he did not outright say it, he was not against it.

"If you don't want to do it, we don't do it. We can forget this conversation even happened," Joshua glanced to his side, then to you. Jeonghan seemed to nod ever so slightly, agreeing with your boyfriend.

An open relationship. That was what Joshua was suggesting. And it seemed so mind-blowing to you to come to the realization that he had been trying to hint at it for weeks now and finally got around to voice it out.

Both men looked at you, waiting for your answer. Your first instinct was to say no, to emphasize once again how crazy everything about that idea was.

But you had to stop yourself. You also considered every single implication if your answer was yes. What would this mean for your relationship with Joshua? If you said no, you would be hurt over losing Jeonghan all over again.

You pushed yourself to your feet and resumed pacing around the living room all over again. "Is this what you really want, Joshua?" you asked, pausing to look at his face and sighed when he nodded. "This is crazy, crazy, Joshua. I mean, how would that even work?"

"You decide. The important thing is that we could work things out, for all of us," Joshua seemed more in control now, probably because he had finally said what had been disturbing his mind for days.

But also, he saw that you immediately did not say no, and you hated that they both knew your answer before you knew it yourself. You hated that they knew you so well that they were just waiting for you to say it.

Jeonghan stood from the couch, making your head snap to find him approaching you slowly, cautiously. "Listen, if you don't want to do it, it's okay. We can forget about this and pretend it didn't happen. I don't want you to feel pushed to do anything, okay?"

"I don't want you to get hurt again," you muttered nervously.

"Why would I?" he asked with genuine curiosity.

You gave yourself a long second to think of your answer. If you agreed to this, you thought, you would spend time with him, you would get closer again. But now you would do so with the full intention of being closer, knowing that there were feelings in between.

And Joshua said that you could all make it work. He was on board with it, he said he could not get the idea off his mind. You sneaked a look at your boyfriend. Joshua was still sitting on the couch, but noticing your meaningful look at him, he just gave you a tiny nod.

"Mmn?" his sweet brown eyes triangulated from yours, to your lips then back up. "If you don't want this, then no. I can walk away right now."

Something in his words sounded very familiar. Experiencing a hazy, distant deja vu in the back of your mind, you nodded at him. "I want this," you whispered, your own words stunning you so deeply that you did not even give yourself time to process it.

Jeonghan took in a breath through his nose, slowly but you noticed the way your answer had caused him to feel something too. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yeah," you gulped hard, nodding with your head as the realization sunk within you. "I'm sure."

Joshua did not look one bit discouraged about your answer. His big, dreamy eyes seemed to sparkle in excitement when you looked at him.

A hand slipped in yours, drawing your gaze back to the man directly in front of you. "Can I...?" Jeonghan whispered, cupping your cheek with his other hand. He also swallowed, his eyes swiftly locking with yours.

"Yes, Jeonghan, yes," you gasped, an overwhelming sense of relief washed over your body when in a breath, Jeonghan leaned his forehead against yours, his hand sliding from your cheek, slowly making its way to cradle the back of your head, his fingers tangling with your hair.

"God, I missed you so much," he whispered in your lips right before he pressed them with his own.

You instantly replied with another kiss, slowly locking your lips with his. "I missed you too, Jeonghan," you confessed, your heart beating against your chest so hard that you swore he would be able to hear it.

Kissing him again caused a shudder inside you so overwhelming that you were already breathing erratically. But kissing him now with the full admittance of your feelings was completely different from before.

His hand moved from your nape to your neck, where he just grabbed you softly, capturing your lips to show you how much he missed you, featherlight kisses pressed in quick succession as he hummed and ceased kissing you, though reluctantly.

"What's next, what do you want to do now?" he asked, pulling back from you.

"Let her breathe," Joshua teased, a small smile appearing on his lips as he nodded his head at you. "Are you okay, baby? You look a little shocked."

Your boyfriend stood up from the couch, walking up to you and standing beside Jeonghan. It was almost perplexing to see them both standing side by side again, their minds silently blending in their scheming.

But it was also, so very hot to see just how quickly both men switched into the same mindset of that night of the threesome. You could not quite put your finger on what it was. But you found it enticing.

"Yeah, I'm okay," you replied, but you sounded out of breath, even though you were not.

Joshua was the first one to notice your breathy tone, his studded eyebrow cocked up ever so slightly. "Oh, baby. Sure you're okay," he tilted his head to one side. "Do you want to take this to our bedroom already?"

Jeonghan leaned his head to the side too, but in the direction of your boyfriend's, it was not a calculated move and it just added to the way they blended in their movements without even knowing.

You released a sigh that denoted both your eagerness, and the defeat over how quickly your boyfriend caught on your secret intentions. Joshua giggled and grabbed your hand to pull you towards the bedroom, probably knowing that you would grab Jeonghan's hand in the process and drag him too.

He clicked his tongue and smiled, and your heart crushed over how much you adored seeing him smiling again. Once you were in your bedroom, he looked around it curiously, as he had never been inside these four walls before that moment.

The bed was high and very wide, spacious enough for whatever your two lovers would want to do with you. You approached the foot of the bed and reluctantly turned to see them both standing behind you.

"Who do you want first, baby?" Joshua asked, being the one to notice your nervousness and reached out to cup your chin, keeping your gaze locked with his.

"Can't I have you both? At the same time?" you asked, short of breath, sounding so needy that you felt a surge of warmth on your cheeks.

"Of course, but don't you want to take turns with us first?" he suggested, calling back to the night of the first threesome.

You nodded, deciding to go along with it. "Undress me, please?" you whispered sheepishly.

Joshua showed you a sweet grin, dimples crowning his lips cutely. "Turn around for me, baby," he instructed, making you turn your back to him, now facing Jeonghan.

You reached out a hand to him as your boyfriend grabbed you by the waist, planting a kiss on your cheek. "Come here," Jeonghan took your hand in his, his cold fingers slipping between yours quite automatically, as if they had a mind of their own.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked, his voice sweet and low at the same time.

You brushed his long black hair aside with your free hand as your boyfriend littered your neck with wet kisses, patiently covering each sweet spot of yours with his lips.

"I–I don't know," you rasped, eyelids fluttering rapidly when Joshua's hand slid from your waist and searched for the front buttons of your dress. "J-just do whatever you want to me, I'll like it."

Your lover smiled just before he met your lips with his own, tenderly at first, much as if he wanted to take things slowly. But you were eager to feel him, eager to recreate the intimacy of that night.

"Joshua," you gasped when his fingers finished undoing the buttons of the front of your dress, slipping the sleeves off your arms and the skirt of the dress pooled at your feet, leaving you to your bra and panties only.

His large and warm hands parked in your waist, his lips kissing your cheek, trailing down to your neck. "Don't tell me you're shy now, bunny," your boyfriend muttered, his lips grazing your skin in the process.

"Nothing I haven't seen before," Jeonghan teased with a grin, his hand cupping your chin moved to your cheek as he pressed his lips with yours, slowly locking them in a deep, wet kiss.

Then your boyfriend moved his hands to your back, his fingers swiftly unclasping your bra, and then a pair of cold fingers hooked on the middle part of it, peeling the pretty lace clothing off your chest.

Your mind was split between paying attention to your boyfriend's hands, removing your clothes bit by bit, or Jeonghan helping him with it. Your own hands were placed on his chest flatly to help you keep your balance.

"Lie down on the bed," he instructed, his tone laced with a sweetness that you did not expect, his kisses becoming more and more demanding.

With a brief groan, Joshua used his hands on your waist, effortlessly lifting you up and rushing you to the mattress, nearly hauling your body to the plush covers. You gasped, but smiled at both men as they moved with an unspoken simultaneity: Jeonghan grabbed his hoodie by the hem of the neck part, yanking it over his head and throwing it to the floor, while Joshua removed his black leather jacket.

You concealed a smirk by biting your lower lip, Joshua pressed a knee on the edge of the bed, crawling over to you, his hands searching for the waistband of your pretty lace panties.

"God, you're so pretty," Jeonghan sighed, his eyes roaming over your now wholly naked body sprawled on the mattress, taking your hand when you reached out to him.

"Thank you, Jeongjeong," you used the opportunity to smile at him, just as he occupied a spot on the bed right by your side, an elbow supporting his weight to use his free hand to cup your cheek.

"Can I call you baby again, then?" he mumbled, his beautiful eyes locking with yours, the outer corners lifting in a smile when you winced nervously as Joshua kept kissing your tummy, trailing to your mound.

"O-of course," you stammered, lowering a hand to sink your rake your fingers through Joshua's golden brown hair. "C-call me princess again, Jeonghan, please,"

"You like that, don't you?" Jeonghan asked, his thumb brushing on your cheekbone, pressing a kiss on your forehead, also deciding to leave a trail down, to your lips. "I remember being told how much you enjoy being pampered."

Joshua grabbed your thighs by the outer part, pushing his tongue on your pussy lips, tongue swiping between your folds with a raspy groan, tasting you fully, earning a high-pitch moan from you, your hand clenching around the golden hair.

"Josh," you mewled out lewdly. "Fuck, baby, just like that," you caressed his long hair back, getting a glimpse of his studded eyebrow, how it cocked up at the sound of your praise.

Jeonghan averted his gaze from your face, to your boyfriend's buried between your thighs, mouth pressed so tightly against your cunt that left little space for Jeonghan to see his tongue working on you, teasing your spots he knew by heart, the movements he knew drove you crazy.

"Come here," you grabbed Jeonghan almost forcefully, using your free hand to bring him by his nape and crushed your lips against his, earning a deep giggle from the man you have been neglecting for over a month now.

Joshua glided the pointed tip of his tongue around your swollen clit, swirling around it in figure eight motions, a loud groan coming from him when your thighs tensed up at his sides, his hands sliding on your inner sides, angling them open to eat you out freely, at his heart's content.

At the same time, Jeonghan swiped a line on your lower lip with his tongue, rolling it inside your mouth expertly, almost as if he had not forgotten a single second of the night he kissed you for the first time. He hummed, his fingers sinking and tangling in your hair.

It was becoming hard to breathe, but deciding to let go, you focused on letting your body lose, freeing yourself from the tension that kept you from really feeling your boyfriend's mouth pleasuring your pussy, your lover kissing you as if his life depended on it.

In a sudden move, you pulled your head back, detaching your lips from Jeonghan's. "Oh, god," you breathed, your chest rising and falling rapidly, you locked eyes with Jeonghan, seeing him smile ever so slightly. "B-baby–Josh, I–I'm coming, I–I..."

Your first orgasm came fast and brutally hard. You screwed your eyes shut so tightly that you saw colors behind your eyelids, your mouth slowly falling open as a long, whiny moan came out. Small kisses left a tingling sensation as they were planted in your lower lip, your cheeks and eyelids.

Arching your back on the bed, your fingers curled and uncurled on your boyfriend's hair, thighs trembling as he continued to tease your clit relentlessly, not showing signs to stop or to change the pace of his pointed tongue pressing and swirling around your bud.

Jeonghan kept kissing your lips while you moaned until you were rendered breathless. His lips pressed on the corner of your teary eyes, breathing out a giggle when you opened them to see his face.

"Felt good?" his eyebrows pushed up, the playful smile curving his lips.

You felt your brow furrow at that. "Yeah," you breathed out, wincing when Joshua left an open kiss on your lips, lifting his head from between your legs.

Joshua looked satisfied when he saw your fucked out form, much as if he felt proud that your first orgasm was his. "Guess you're next," he smirked when you reached out to grab the hem of his black t-shirt, tugging it upwards.

Jeonghan made no verbal response, but he got to work right away, pulling back from you to sit back on his knees and pulled the t-shirt over his head, throwing it away dismissively. He crawled backwards to lower his feet from the bed, just as you rolled over to crawl to him, chasing him almost.

"Sit here," he nodded to the edge of the mattress, his fingers undoing the button of his black denim jeans.

"Let me do that for you," you breathed out lewdly, reaching out to hook your fingers on the waist of his jeans tugging them down. You heard a breathy giggle in the back, and you did not need to turn to see your boyfriend to know he was enjoying this.

"Did you miss me, baby?" Jeonghan asked, cupping your face with both hands, his fingertips sinking in between the strands of your hair.

"Yeah," you blurted out immediately and looked up to find his eyes trained on the features of your face. "M-missed you."

The corner of his lips quirked up, leaning his face against yours, he breathed. "Did you miss this?" he whispered, planting soft pecks on your lips, the tip of your nose and forehead.

An euphoric shudder coursed through you. Your thumbs hooked on the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down slowly to see his pretty cock springing out of them, fully hard, precum smeared on his tip sloppily.

Jeonghan stepped out of his clothes, now standing between your legs, wholly naked, he cast a look over your head and smirked.

"As soon as she comes, she's mine," Joshua said with a hoarse tone, and you knew that he ached to be Jeonghan at that moment.

"Yeah, yeah," he replied with ease, his gaze returning to you. "Lean back for me, baby," you obeyed, placing your hands behind you on the mattress to support your body. "Good girl."

But his gaze trailed down, and you followed it. Jeonghan grabbed his hard length with one hand, guiding his tip to your core, but stopping to play with your arousal by running his tip up and down your folds. An amused look taking over his features when you whimpered lewdly.

"Jeonghan, be quick," you mewled when he rubbed his tip against your engorged clit, your fingers clenching on the covers instinctively. "P-please."

A loud moan escaped your mouth when he started sinking his pretty cock in, the sight of it disappearing inside you making him sigh out a moan too.

"Jeonghan," you whimpered, biting your lower lip to avoid making more noise, but you could not help but moan when he bottomed out completely, releasing a sigh with you. "Move, fuck, please move, Hannie."

He giggled breathily, but he gave you what you wanted right away, pulling out his length, then bottoming out again, repeating the action slowly. "Yeah," he rasped with a grin. "I missed this too, princess," he muttered with a low tone that nearly sounded husky.

"So fucking good," he sighed in pleasure, closing his eyes briefly.

"Yeah, yeah, just like that, Jeongjeong," you mewled with a high-pitch tone, thighs trembling already from the pleasure building back up.

You felt the bed shift, and caught a glimpse of your boyfriend sitting, back against the headboard of the bed, his jeans were gone, and he only wore his black sleeveless and boxers.

"Who would've thought that your boyfriend is a voyeur," Jeonghan teased, when you had to swallow back a moan at realizing just how hard your boyfriend was from watching you and Jeonghan, a wet patch of precum darkening the gray fabric of his boxers.

A what? You initially thought but everything clicked quite rapidly. Joshua had his eyes trained on you, on your face, wandering slightly to your hands when you gripped the duvet tighter. But his face seemed to change, the features relaxing when his eyes zeroed on Jeonghan pulling his cock out of you, siking back again repeatedly.

"I guess it's kind of a given, right?" Jeonghan gasped, pushing his hips against you at a slow pace, his cock sliding in and out your wet walls, making him moan in your ear. "You make the prettiest faces when you come, did you know?"

You were biting your lip, frowning deeply as you focused on the pleasure building inside you threatening to snap. "Mmn?" you hummed dumbly, ignoring the smile that took over the features of his face. "I–I think I won't last long," you muttered abashedly.

"You're close?" he asked and you nodded immediately. "Lie back, baby," with a sigh you lied back on the covers, just as he cupped the back of your knees with his hands hoisting your legs on his shoulders.

Then he started pushing inside you at a fast and calculated pace, the position changing so now the tip of his cock hit a glorious spot on your walls repeatedly, making you wail out madly. "Jeonghan!"

"Yeah, baby," he whispered raggedly, short gasps leaving his lips as he continued to minister his slow, deep thrusts, his hands holding your legs squeezed you gently. His eyes were focused on your face, and you did not need to look at Joshua to know that he was doing the same. "Come for me, princess."

Your fingers sneaked between your pussy lips, finding your swollen bud covered in your slick and started rubbing circles. "Oh god," you gasped, letting out a long moan as the tension finally snapped, pleasure blooming inside you, coursing through your limbs. "Oh god, oh god, god."

"That's it, baby," Jeonghan whispered, his head lolling back, his throat bobbing ever so slightly as sweet moans came out of his mouth, he gritted his teeth, his hips hitting against you sloppily. "C-cumming," he blurted, veins started to pop on his neck.

With one final, raspy groan, Jeonghan stopped thrusting inside you sloppily, his face completely relaxed, but he was breathing erratically now. He turned his face, pressing a kiss on the side of your knee before letting your legs down.

"You're okay, baby?" Jeonghan checked in after a moment as he came back to his senses.

"I'm shaking," you muttered shyly.

"Can you keep going, princess?" he asked, and you saw genuine care for you written in his eyes.

"Yeah," you decided, and nodded with your head. "I wanna keep going," turning your head to look at your boyfriend. "I want you now."

Joshua was still focused on you only, the smile that curved his lips causing your heart to explode. "Don't you want to rest, baby?"

"No," you looked at your lover as he pulled out of you his cock coated with your arousal and his cum, making you shudder at the sight. "No resting."

You turned on your belly, crawling on your hands and knees over to him. "Do you want me, Josh?" you asked with genuine curiosity.

"You know I do," he rasped, blinking slowly at you as his hand came up to caress your cheek. "I want you on all fours, bunny. Now."

Your heart twisted in your chest, obeying immediately you positioned yourself in the middle of the bed.

"That's my girl," Joshua praised when you lowered yourself on your elbows, arching your back for him.

A mewl escaped you when he ran his palm on your ass, parking it on the small of your back, before he nudged your entrance with the tip of his cock.

"Dirty girl," he tutted when Jeonghan's cum started dripping out of your slit, the sound of it dropping on the covers making you send a guilty look at your lover.

He had made himself a spot on the corner of your room, noticing that he discarded the hamper on the floor, so now he was sitting on the chair, legs spread, arms tucked over his head and holding onto the headrest. He smirked mischievously.

"My pretty bunny, who would've thought you'd be so fucking dirty," he whispered, sinking in his big cock inside you, so slowly you swore you could feel the veins of his girth, the ridge beneath the bulbous head he had teased you with moments before.

"Mmnf," your fingers twisted on the bed covers as your boyfriend sheathed inside you in one go, causing more cum to drip out of your slit, down your folds and onto the covers. "Joshua," you mewled.

"Yeah, baby, that's my name," he replied with a cocky tone, his front hitting your ass slowly, but hard.

You dropped your forehead on the bed, rubbing the side of your face as you drowned out another lewd moan. "Fuck," you sighed, closing your eyes briefly to savor the pleasure you got from the hard thrusts, from the tip of his cock hitting that spot repeatedly.

His hand left the small of your back, and before you knew it he delivered a firm spank. "Say my name."

You winced, the pain soaring through you, walls clenching around him. "Joshua," you called, your voice muffled by the soft covers of the bed.

You could hear your boyfriend gasping softly when your walls pulsated around his length. "Not good enough," he raised his hand, bringing it down on your ass harsher. "Again."

"Joshua!" you wailed, writhing slightly when the skin throbbed and tingled. Blinking the tears away, you found Jeonghan again, now the roles switched as he rolled his hand over the pink tip of his cock, pumping it slowly.

"That's better," he sighed out a raspy moan. "Fuck, you look so good like this."

You rested the side of your face on the covers once again, you knew you were growing tired, and you could feel the friction starting to feel like too much. "Sensitive," you muttered.

"Can you give me one more, baby?" you sneaked a look at your boyfriend's face. "Don't you want to take Jeonghan too?"

Your entire body burned at the prospect of having the two men that you loved at the same time. "Yeah," you nodded, rubbing your tearstained cheek on the covers and craned your neck to look at your lover.

"Good girl," Joshua sighed with a weak smile.

Jeonghan pushed himself to his feet, pressing a knee on the mattress as you propped your body on your hands. Your chin was cupped by one of his cold hands. "Open up for me, princess," his fingers pressed on your skin, pinching your chin softly.

Parting your mouth, you kept your eyes on his face as you pulled out your tongue for him to slide his heavy cock on, lips wrapping around him, making him sigh out a raspy moan.

"Fuck," he grunted as he started thrusting inside your mouth, his head hanging back once again, swallowing a high-pitch moan that had his throat bobbing. "Good girl."

Your walls fluttered erratically around Joshua's cock. "Mn, you like that, baby," he pointed with a breathy giggle, right before he started pushing inside you harder, his thrusts growing more demanding. Earning short, strangled moans from you. "You filthy girl."

Jeonghan's hand slid on your nape, fisting your hair to hold you still as he too started thrusting inside your mouth faster, deeper to shut your moans up when you started gagging around his cock. "God, baby, you take me so well."

Tears rolled down your cheeks, but you kept your eyes trained on your lover's face riddled by pleasure.

"Fuck, baby," your boyfriend sighed, and just by his tone alone you knew he was about to come too. "I need you to come."

"No, not yet," Jeonghan gasped, pushing his cock down your throat, his eyes wide in awe and lust. "Shit," he breathed, revelling at the state that you were in: fucked out, used, ruined.

Joshua responded with a weak laugh, and when you felt his hand slide from your lower back to your tummy you knew why. Your eyelids fluttered uncontrollably when his fingertips pressed on your clit, moving them in fast swirls, exactly in the way he knew you would come faster.

A strangled, high-pitched moan was muffled by Jeonghan's cock in your mouth tears brimming in your eyes and spilling rapidly. Your third orgasm came faster than the other two, making your inner thighs shake and your body nearly go completely limp.

"Fuck!" Joshua groaned, pushing his hips against your ass sloppily, thrusting ropes of cum deep inside you, mixing with Jeonghan's, your boyfriend's hand gripped one side of your waist.

"Cumming," Jeonghan whispered, stopping his thrusts sloppily and then the sweetest, rawest moans spilled from his pink lips. "So good."

Your lover pulled out of your mouth gently a second later, letting you swallow and breathe easily, whimpering pathetically when your boyfriend pulled out next. Your limbs were shaking, and you wanted nothing more than to crash onto the mattress.

"Baby, we need to clean up first," Joshua said, reading your body movements well. "Then we can rest."

"But I just–," you started but then you felt the wetness dripping down your thighs.

"Come on, baby," Jeonghan pinched your chin once again, nodding his head towards the door. "I'll get the shower ready."

"Let's go," Joshua giggled softly, scooping you from the bed in his strong arms and effortlessly cradling you in his arms despite your short squeal in protest.

Joshua left you on the shower floor, where Jeonghan was already testing the temperature of the water. "Ready?" he asked, smiling softly when he saw your face.

"I'm going to change the bed covers," Joshua announced, leaving you and Jeonghan alone in the bathroom.

"Are you okay, princess?" Jeonghan asked standing in front of you, his long black hair was wet, and he was trying to blink the wetness from his tears to keep looking at you.

"I'm okay," you responded, showing him a smile before you pushed his damp hair from his face. "Amazing, actually. You?"

Jeonghan giggled, his hands sliding on your back and parking on your waist. "Never better," he replied, and the honesty in his eyes was real. He pressed his lips against yours tenderly.

"Will you stay tonight?" you dared to ask, pulling away to busy your hands with the bottle of shampoo, pouring some in your hands to then rub it in your hair.

"Do you want me to stay, baby?" he asked, grabbing the bottle when you offered it to him.

"Of course," you said, shrugging. "The bed is big enough for the three of us."

That seemed to convince him, his lips pressed in a cute smile and he nodded. "Then I'll stay."

Joshua came back some minutes later, just as Jeonghan was stepping out of the shower. So in a second, they had exchanged spots.

"Come here, handsome," you muttered, grabbing his hand and now you took the time to rub shampoo on his hair.

"You're okay, bunny?" he asked, his pretty eyes roaming all over the features of your face.

You smiled and nodded. "Yeah, babe, I'm okay. Amazing."

"Why are you laughing?" he cocked the studded eyebrow.

"You two are very similar at times," you pointed and giggled again.

"Yeah," Joshua muttered. "We've been told that before."

"So how will this work?" Jeonghan asked the following morning during breakfast, grabbing his iced latte from the table and taking a sip out of the straw, his lips pursing cutely.

"We can talk about the logistics after breakfast," Joshua said, slowly cutting his pancake into small bits. He sent a cautious look at you.

The open-air restaurant allowed the gentle summer breeze to caress the back of your neck, tousling the hair at the base of your head that your scrunchie could not hold in your bun.

"We can talk about it now," you nodded at him reassuringly.

"Okay, then," Joshua grabbed his napkin and pressed it to his mouth, pausing pensively before adding. "I think I'm okay if you guys date, or hang out. But I want videos of the things you do when you're together."

It was awfully subtle, it took you some moments to know what your boyfriend suggested, but Jeonghan understood immediately. "Of every single time?" he pushed his eyebrows up in mild disbelief.

"No, just the ones you think I would like to watch," he replied, and looked at you briefly. "Only if you're on board, baby, of course."

"Are you..." you looked to the tables surrounding you in precaution and leaned in to whisper: "Are you referring to sex?"

Joshua smiled broadly, his eyes wrinkling at the corners. "Yes, baby," he replied warmly, sneaking a hand under the table to give your thigh a gentle squeeze.

Jeonghan in turn, laughed out loud. "What else, princess?"

"I don't know," you mumbled shamefully, growing hot on your face. "Can I ask why?"

Joshua shrugged. "I think it will be hot. Besides, I don't want to feel left out when I'm away for work and you guys are having fun together, so…."

"Seems fair," you replied, nervously fidgeting at the straw of your banana strawberry smoothie.

"So you're on board, baby?" Jeonghan asked softly, eyeing you curiously as he continued eating the last bits of food from his plate.

"I'm in," you nodded, breathing out your excitement as you imagined what possibilities lied now that you were finally in a much clearer arrangement with both Jeonghan and Joshua. "I also think it will be hot," you said, though in a sheepish manner.

Jeonghan smirked, but in his eyes you could see that he was looking at you with fondness.

"Oh, no," Joshua breathed, reaching out for his shades he had left on the edge of the table and put them on, bending his head forward.

"What?" Jeonghan turned and you spotted the couple of fans holding up both cameras and phones in the direction to the table you were sitting at. "Fuck."

"Jeonghan, get her out of here," Joshua muttered, handing him the keys to his van, and you initially arched an eyebrow at his words.

"But they're just fans, baby, what is the problem?" you asked, and as your words got out, your mouth fell open in realization.

"There's rumors that I'm not single and I don't want them to target you in their fucking online gossip," he mumbled, pushing Jeonghan to go with a sharp nod of his head.

"But you're not single," Jeonghan frowned, and for once, he did not know what Joshua was referring to.

"I would like to keep people from snooping into my girlfriend's personal life because she has her life's work under anonymity," he retorted, and now he looked disturbed. There were more people outside joining in, some for mere curiosity, some were real fans.

"Let's go, princess," Jeonghan muttered at once, grabbing his phone and vape from the table and pocketing them. "I'll bring the car around."

Jeonghan grabbed your hand, dragging you out of the restaurant, displaying your laced hands to the Midnight Haze fans that were standing outside, looking at you and him, then continuing to wait expectantly for Joshua to come out. Which he did when Jeonghan texted him that he had brought the car around.

You saw how your boyfriend hesitantly waved at people taking pictures of him and asking for autographs, something he politely declined, running to the sliding door of his white van, closing it once inside, with a shocked expression on his face as he realized that his fame was growing exponentially fast.

Faster than he ever imagined, or even wanted.

✮ author's note: hi hi hi there! so now my semi hiatus was a little longer!! hehe did you miss me (●'◡'●) this took me longer than i expected so i hope you guys like it so, i felt like making this chapter a little longer to make up for my absence, and also because i really love jeonghan and joshua and i have been rotting away while trying to get this out anyways, ✮ STAY TUNED FOR PART THREE!! ✮ toodles buy me coffee? 🩵

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