#having your own room doesnt quite cut it

[cicerobussytransplant]

maybe if you all slept on the divano letto in the living room you would all feel better

[omgwhatchloe]

STUPID MODERN AU HEADCANONS ALERT

-they all have one hideout they stay at after too many of their apartments kept getting raided. its…its chaotic sometimes.

-bill snores so fucking loud and sleeps on the sofas. he DOES have a bed, he just ‘rests’ his eyes during whatever he’s watching, spreads out and snores like hell. its the most infuriating thing, and arthur does not hold back when beating him with a pillow.

-however if it was lenny or one of the girls who’d fallen asleep on the sofa, lets just say hes sneaking back into the house after late night adventures, and he finds them, arthur would absolutely cover them with a blanket or even carry them to bed depending on how tired he was.

-the men of the gang have differing opinions on drugs, strippers, etc. some will absolutely spend their money on that, others will never even consider it. you gotta remember, this is a gang and theyre criminals.

-movie nights are very random as theyre all constantly in and out, doing this and that, but it is nice when a group of them can settle down and watch something. but you know theyre getting interrupted constantly, because lenny thinks that doesnt make sense and johns hungry and sean thinks theyre hot and tilly cant decide if she wants some of the blanket or not and micah’s just walked in and decided the whole ordeal is very gay etc etc

-STREET RACING. sean, lenny, arthur, john, javier, karen, sadie, even abigail all love it, and it miiiight just be one of hosea’s guilty pleasures.

-leopold strauss does not like dutch’s music. imagine, theyre coming back from a job and he rides with dutch and hosea, who plays ‘old classics’ because dutch thinks thats what theyre into. cut to strauss staring longingly out of the window, watching arthurs car with the roof down and pitbull up. he is a very unhappy old man in that moment. he does NOT WANT to listen to big iron, HE WANTS TIMBER!!

-booktok is lenny’s biggest opp. he likes the classics and to wander around bookshops (sean trailing behind him and picking up random books on weeds and fitness to offer him because he doesnt actually know what theyre about) looking for his own books to read and get his own opinion on.

-sean can read, but does struggle with dyslexia and still dislikes books for this reason. he doesnt mind being read too, but feels overwhelmed and gets upset with himself when actually attempting to read.

-mary-beth loves to watch tv in her room only to fall asleep with it on, causing susan to poke her head around the door and yell at her to turn it off at like 3am. but trust me, the girls seen everything. every dating show, reality show, drama, documentary, she has seen it! she also has teddys/stuffed animals!!

-john never grew out of enjoying sleepovers, but thankfully neither did javier. they’d always get drunk and high together, do dumb shit, snuggle only to deny they did in the morning, and get yelled at to shut up. of course, john’d eventually get to have a sleepover every night with abigail, but he feels like its just not the same…

-charles WILL go to sleep in your car and you cant stop him. arthur finds it cute tho.

-the cupboards do not have snacks because everyone is too possessive over what they want and just keep it in their rooms.

-a lot of the time only a few people are having stew, since the rest are off getting fast food or just not eating.

-sean misses ireland so much, homesickness is a big problem for him (to the point he may actually be sick from upsetting himself so much) and he wishes him and his da never had to leave donegal. though obviously he struggles with booking flights and decides to just not do it instead of asking for help. for a perfect birthday present, lenny booked a trip for them!!

-seans da is not dead!! though he lives quite far from where the gang are staying (different state, not back in ireland) and sean misses him more than he likes to admit. the little irishboy loves to sit in his da’s house with a cup of tea, stealing all the biscuits and yapping on. he used to like to bring lenny too, when they were closer (in distance, not relationship)and his da decided he liked lenny more than sean, joking ofc.

[pjsk-writin]

Hgrelp its like 11pm n i got baptised but anyways

Can i request hc's (+ a small lil story) of the pjsk boys with a gn reader who like nEEDS to hold something while resting in bed/sleeping bc they've always been sleeping with a plushie n it feels weird for them to not hold sum and then when the boys ask the reader they don't wanna admit it but like the nexy time the chara comes into the readers room theyre just like sleeping w/ a plushie n they go like "oh so thats why"

Tldr; gn! Reader who alaays clings onto character bc it feels weird not to hold a plushie -> when character asks why the reader doesnt admit it -> but when character comes into the readers room to jand oht they see them cuddling w/ a plushie -> character fibally realizes why

HSIDEJ TY

FBSMKSF HELP ? but omg this is so cute....I hope u like this !! <3

♡ CLINGING IN SLEEP - Akito Shinonome, Toya Aoyagi, Tsukasa Tenma and Rui Kamishiro x Reader

Akito:

He would never admit it to you, but Akito gets really flustered any time you cling onto him in your sleep-

It's one of the main reasons why he asks you actually. Not that he doesn't like it, he just hates when you wake up and see him all flustered-

Much to his surprise, you get pretty flustered when he asks, dodging his question with a small laugh. Well, now he needs to know-

His investigation always fails...Until the day you let him hang out at your house. He discovers it rather quickly

"Hey, babe? Do you have-" He walked into your room, finding you clinging onto a plushie like a lifeline. "...Oh."

He grins, stepping closer and looking at the plushie in your hands. He takes a picture to tease you about it, but a part of him can't stop thinking about how cute you look <3

Toya:

Toya might get flustered by you clinging onto him, but he finds that it's really nice actually...You always make him feel so warm

He asks you out of pure curiosity, not wanting you to stop persay, more wanting to know just in case he's ever not there for you to cling onto

You dodge his question in response, and he just drops it because he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable...

Luckily though, he gets the answer to his question when he hangs out at your house.

"Hon, are you okay?" He walked into your room, before pausing once he noticed you clinging onto a plushie, the exact same way you clung onto him. "Ah..."

He watched you sleep for a bit, before tucking you into bed properly, kissing your forehead and fixing the plushie in your hands. How adorable... <3

Tsukasa:

Tsukasa was absolutely ecstatic when he realized you cling onto him when you sleep. He loves affection, and it makes him happy any time you hug him close!

He asks you about it with a wide grin, finding the habit a cute little quirk of yours

You end up dodging his question, and he pesters you about it before huffing. Fine then, he'll find out! A future star can solve mysteries on his own!

He figures it out when you invite him to hang out, and he's ecstatic

"My favorite co-star! Are you?-" He cut himself off when he saw you clinging onto a plushie, and his eyes widened before sparkling at the sight. "Aha!"

He keeps quiet, tip-toeing up to your side to see the plushie you were clinging onto. He grins and pats your head and its head, already planning to show you his own plushies <3

Rui:

Rui absolutely melts whenever you cling onto him in your sleep. He tries to hide it, but the wide grin on his face shows it quite obviously.

He asks you about it one day to tease you, that same amused grin on his face as he asked you

You dodged his question, which made him poke and tease you even more about it. Don't worry, he's sure to find out soon...

And that he does, once he hangs out at your house one day

"Dearest, do you happen to have a screw?-" He paused once he saw you sleeping, clinging onto your plushie. "Oh my...What do we have here?"

He absolutely memorizes the plushie's look so that he can tease you about it, but he spends his time watching you with a small smile. He envies the plushie in that moment <3

[kaleaido]

In your opinion how do you think/how do you want Taco’s apology to Mic & Pickle to go?

In Brian’s livestream he said “an attempt will be made” which makes me nervous it will go badly :,)

I was gonna answer this way earlier but after watching the trailer a bit of my original answer had changed, oh boy get ready!!! sorry if some part doesnt make sense, this is literally just word vomit

I'm not quite sure whether Pickle fully moved on from what happened, cause if I remember correctly, Brain confirmed in a tweet that Pickle was depressed and also he refuses to read the letters Taco sent him I'm pretty sure. That being said, he could've been doing far better off now but I DONT KNOW HONESTLY!!! Like I know he's a chill guy but it's hard to predict his reaction to her apology.. cause like, Taco was just EVIL to him - If she were to apologize to him, he might believe that she was tricking him again. It wasn't personal for her but it was for him. I get that he might not forgive her, but I do hope he accepts her apology in some ways. I'm also predicting that he could be the first person she apologize to just cause like.. They haven't seen each other in a long time and so the tension isn't that deadly??? and Taco is probably under the impression that he did read the letters she sent him but yeah

As for Mic, LETME TELL YOU I'M ABSOLUTELY MENTAL OVER THIS!!!!! I spend my free time imagining the different way this will go down AND NONE OF THEM SEEMS RIGHT I TELL YOU!!!! i feel like Mic is just an extremely scary hurdle to get over because of the stuff that happened recently. seeing how it was implied that Taco died from stress cause she thought Mic was coming makes me extremely worried that she wouldn't even have the guts to meet Mic face to face - having the possibility of her COMPLETELY messing the apology up. but the thing is, I don't think Mic is necessarily mad at Taco, she was just done with everything and cutting ties for her own good. If Taco were to appear back in her life out of nowhere I'm assuming that Mic will just be extremely uncomfortable, but I also believe that she would want to hear Taco apologise. The difference between Mic and Pickle is that, Mic had the additional context of who Taco really is - They saw her vulnerable side, albeit rarely, but Mic clearly knew Taco was struggling with something and wanted her to open up more (e.g. them asking her why she reached for the portal in hatching the plan) I'm hoping to GOD that Mic can see that Taco is being genuine if she were to apologise or talk about stuff, and I reallyreallyreally hope she listens but like. this is such a thin line to walk and I can see it going really badlyGAH quick thing but I'm assuming that Mepad will be accompanying Taco in whatever her next step is (like yeah did you really expect her to do this alone CMON) i'm just curious on whether he'll be there when she's apologizing to Mic & Pickle. like would he stand there in the corner of the room like an emotional support dog. regardless, I think Mepad being there is a game changer cause he's a generally trustworthy fellow, and he can CONVINCE Mic & Pickle that Taco is actually sorry. this is just my theory don't mind me lalalalala

at the end of the day, ii is a stupid little show (/aff) but the writers know what they're doing when it comes to character relationships. like they KNOW how to write realistic and nuisance dynamics and I'm really interested in how everything will pan out.. ALSO I KNOW WHAT BRAIN MEANT BY "an attempt will be made" BUT PLEASE I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THAT'S OMINOUS AS HELL!!! it is such a neutral statement that it makes me fear for the worse...please....you can't do this to me....

[joe-keerys-wife]

Send me requests!

Eddie munson x fem!reader

Warnings: my first smut, sorry if its bad! Masterbating, slight edging, thigh riding, praise kink, p in v, slight hitting. (letme know if i missed any!)

Summary: you are eddies best friend, your sleeping over at his trailer and he goes into the shower you decide to have some fun by yourself while he is gone... Whats the worst that could happen?

fingers teasing your folds, your gasp being muffled by your hand pushed tightly against your mouth. You imagine its his hand instead of your own. Wishing it was his hand brushing lightly over your clit.

It feels wrong, masterbating in his bed in his room. But you cant help yourself. You need it, you need him. You know you cant have him though what if he doesnt like you back and you have ruined everything? You can't do that.

Your so wet, easily accepting one finger inside of yourself, thrusting it in and out at a agonising pace. Your thumb working over your clit, you can already feel a familiar feeling growing inside your stomach.

Your back starting to arch, the pleasure needing to escape. Moans getting harder to conrol, only caring about how good it feels you let out some loud moans, so loud you couldn't hear the shower turning off, but somebody could hear you.

Eddie hears something coming from his room, getting worried beacuse he thought you were asleep. Putting a towl around his waist, he walks over to his door thats slightly open.

Peaking his head in, just the sight nearly made him cream his pants immediately. You laid out on his own bed, pants down to your ankles, wet fingers gliding in and out of you at a rough fast pase while your thumb is rubbing in an eight motion.

Back and neck arched, legs wide open. Your other hand is holding a pillow to your mouth trying but failing to keep your screams in. Your thoughts were only on him, you dont see him standing there drooling over you but your thoughts only wish it was him instead.

Your getting close, and by the looks of it so is eddie just watching you. Nearly there moans getting louder 'e-eddie!' you accidentally moan out. You dont even realise you said it just getting closer to the edge.

A thin layer of sweat coated your body, panting while moaning, head thrown back your suddenly interrupted by eddie walking in swiftyly grabbing your wrist with one hand the other pulling the pillow off of your face.

You look at him in pure shock as he is just smirking at you. Quickly scrambling off the bed with weak legs from being edged. 'eddie' you say not as a moan now but panicking pulling your pants up he stops you 'no no sweetheart these can stay off'

Eddie looks at you like a giddy child on christmas, your a deep shade of red. 'eddie i can explain i swear i-i just needed to get-' your interrupted by eddie smashing his face against yours, still in shock you dont fight it. Your tongues glide together, pushing his tongue inside your mouth biting down softly on your lip.

You let out a hungry moan, his bulge pressed against your thigh with your wetness dripping down. 'w-what was that' you say breaking the kiss for air. 'you could've just told me you wanted me, i could've had you bent over for me by now'

You gain more confidence pushing him back towards the bed, him sat and you are leaned over both of you making out. He grabs your waist pulling you so you are straddling his thick thigh. Hands on your waist, but he doesn't move instead admitting 'I've liked you for ages i can't believe you didn't tell me sooner' you both share a chuckle.

'cut the crap munson, just fuck me' he tightened his hands on your waist, moving you so you are dry humping his thigh your pants still around your ankles. 'lisen to me little girl, you will wait. You'll be lucky if i even let you come tonight' his movements and words making you see stars quite quickly since your already nearly there from earlier.

'fucking yourself on my bed, how pathetic couldn't get the courage to ask me? why didnt you?' You can tell by his tone that his question wasnt rhetorical. But your to close to think straight. 'i asked a question, better answer me. Naughty girls dont get to come'

After he said that you try to say something but only a loud moan comes out instead. Looking at him with pleading eyes. 'answer me' his voice is demanding, you know he isn't bluffing.

'i-i im gonna cum!' you head is thrown back in pleasure legs starting to shake. 'thats not what i asked little girl.' his hands are sure to leave brusies on your sides, exited to see the marks in the morning.

'i-' your moans start to turn in to wimpers and panting as you begin to get more tired. 'i-i dont know' you say not looking anywhere but him, your clit rubbing on his jeans making a large mark with yohr wetness.

'dont you lie to me' he says sounding really dominant. 'p-please' your begging now multiple muffled pleadings leaving your mouth. 'answer the question' you try to put your thoughts together, eddie looking at you with a giddy and loving smile or smirk you can't tell.

'i didnt wa-want to scare you off' he looks at you with a wide and loving smile for a few seconds, you getting impatient looking up at him with a pleading gaze. 'okay sweetheart cum'

Them three words pushed you over the edge. 'Fuck! Eddie p-please f-fuck' a bunch of curse words tumble out, pleasure running through your body his hands at your waist holding you down. His movements only stopping when your high finished.

Removing his hands you fall into his shoulder, catching your breath. You look up again onky to find him looking down at you with a cocky smirk. 'not so cheeky now eh?' teasing you. You kiss him again, still wet.

'Fuck me' you say quietly into his shoulder, wanting it but too shy to ask properly. 'what was that baby? I couldn't quite hear you.' your turn red again, kissing him trying to tell him through your actions instead.

'sweetheart if you want something you gotta ask first' you can ear the smirk in his mouth. 'Eddie' you say again, moving your hips on his rock hard dick. He groans slightly, his sound going directly to your pussy. 'ask me.' he repeats.

Getting needy, 'eddie, please! Fuck me.' you say louder now. Dragging his finger down he teases your clit, inserting a finger thrusting it once hitting your g spot straight away, taking it out, pushing it inside your mouth.

Summisive you suck it clean. 'good girl' he praises, that making you turn red. 'awh does my girl have a praise kink?' you move your hips again desperate for some friction.

'please eddie!' he pulls you so your standing, bending you over the bed in a quick movement making you wimper. You hear him fumble with his belt, he seems desperate, if not more than you.

'Your safe word is red, say yellow if you want to change, red is an complete stop. Do you understand?' your wetness is dripping onto the carpet underneath you, quickly nodding your head to his question. There's a sharp pain to your thigh, moaning out at eddie slapping you. 'be a good girl, and give me words.'

'Yes eddie please!' you cant take it too much longer. 'i need you inside of me please!' your needs getting the best of you. 'good girl'

You dont even have time to blush at the praise, eddie pushing himself inside you. Not giving you time to adjust not like you need any anyways. 'thats it good girl, you can take it'

Your a moaning mess, gripping onto the bed for support even though eddies hand is on your waist again. 'fas-faster please! Fuck eddie!' your walls are squeezing him tightly. Both of you are sweating, your head is thrown back, him groaning and moaning into your ear.

'gonna-gonna cum' you warn him. 'show me' he says with a grunt. Your walls hug him, your whole body jurking forward with the orgasm. Eddie hasn't stoped his pace, still going. 'can-can you take another one baby?'

You nod quickly, lifting your hips up to give him a better angle, pushing them to meet him halfway. His hand comes down meeting your clit again. 'you got this baby, come with me sweetheart'

He hits your sweet spot one more time, and thats all it takes for you to come undone. Your 3rd orgasm of the night, pulling him down into the pleasure. He groans loudly, filling you up.

Pulling out of you slowly, all you manage to say is a weak 'wow'. He chuckles. 'i know baby, lets get you cleaned up yeah? You did such a good job' your face turning red at the praise again.

'Hey, look at me' he gently grabs your chin. Making you look at him, 'your my girl' you nod still blissed out, giving him a short peak.

[leonsleftbicep]

Morning Espresso

[HAPPY HALLOWS EVE!! this was inspired by something i saw on the sleep token archive account and then 3 am me said to write about it so i did]

mind you this is not about the actual people behind the mask this is about their stage characters

poly vessels, they are all gay and in love, tatted ii, iii doesnt like black coffee, iv knows all of them way to well, sleeps kinda mean(hinted), ever so slightly fast paced (beep is not a good writer)

ENJOY

a groggy Vessel walks into the kitchen immediately grabbing himself his large mug and pouring coffee into it, 2 scoops of sugar and no creamer. The first sip is always the best for warming up his body, a stark contrast to the cold morning.

II walks out of his room equally sleepy, in only his sweat pants and a pair of socks. “Do you want coffee?” Vessel asks as the drummer walks into the kitchen tattoos and all on display, “no i’ll just get my tea” he says with a rasp to his voice, turning the kettle on, grabbing a mug and tea bag.

‘He hasn't given me my morning kiss yet’ vessel thinks to himself as he places down his mug on the counter, he walks behind II holding his waist “are you ok sweetheart” Vessel asks II.

II just leans into his hold “sleep kept speaking to me all night. i woke up with aches, i must have been tossing and turning” he mumbles out not telling Vessel the full truth, but Vessel doesn’t pry for anymore information.

II turns in his arms so he can face Vessel finally giving him a sweet kiss, though he starts to deepen it, finding the bitter taste of the dark roast coffee on Vessel’s tongue quite enjoyable.

“Good Morning love birds” a gruff sarcastic voice was heard from the entrance to the kitchen, the two quickly separating. III stood there leaning on the door frame already dressed in his lounge wear for the day with slightly damp hair, smirking at the two before walking closer and kissing both of their lips.

“jesus Vessel, you need to start putting creamer in your coffee. i feel like i just kissed a mound of coffee grounds” III says after pulling away from Vessel’s lips quickly, grabbing the kettle and putting water in II’s mug for his tea as he grabs himself a mug for some coffee.

They all separate a bit from each other while they get their breakfast and morning drinks, chatting with one another about their nights.

IV finally comes along he's wrapped up in a blanket and immediately heads for II, leaning into him kissing at his neck, tracing the tattoo on II’s neck with kisses. III and vessel watch this unfold, a tinge of jealousy in the bottom of their stomachs but they are use to it.

After IV has gotten done treating II to his soft kisses he makes his way to III, letting their kiss have a bit of teeth clashing as III liked it.

After IV was done with III he walked in front of  Vessel, taking Vessel’s clothed waist in his hands and pulling him close to him, looking up into the singer's eyes before letting their lips caress the others. The taste of vessels coffee breath addicting to IV he always looked forward to their kiss in the mornings.

IV always tried and failed to keep it not as steamy as it would have been in the comfort of closed doors, but they were both fine with wanting more and more.

III cut them off with a loud clear of the throat, “your coffees getting cold Ves” he muttered quickly as he picked up his own mug of coffee and sauntered off for the living room.

the three that were left in the kitchen exchanged knowing glances, III was going to have a full morning 

[secretlilsis]

tw : someone is killed in this one, so uhh yeah procceed w/ caution.

Her big brother handed her the knive, eyeing her up and down, wondering if she was really up to it. She looked back at him, wordlessly, taking the knive and holding onto it tightly. There was a pressured, tense atmosphere in the room that hung over them. They were in their own little world, their own little drama. And the person sitting on the chair, tied to it, muffled, desperately trying to get out of their bindings simply wasnt part of that world. His eyes werent as calm as they usually were, he looked stressed and pent-up. He scratched the back of his neck nervously. "You know you dont really have to prove anything to me. You dont need to incriminate yourself so you -really cant betray me- or anything like that. Its good enough for me you figured my secret out and didnt go screaming and running in the other direction." There was a sort of gentle determination in his little sisters eyes now "No, youd get paranoid around me, whether id change my mind, what happens if we have a fight - and so on. I cant take that risk. I need my big brother. At all costs. No matter that he hurts people like this sometimes. This doesnt change anything." Then she finally turned around at the poor person, sitting there all tied up. The sheer horror in that persons face suprised his little sister. She couldnt relate to ever having felt that unsafe around him, and even now she did not fear him.

She stepped closer to the person, and the person recoiled. In his little sisters eyes, this person was a little more than a worm, a annoying insect, a bug to squash to ensure her big brother would not question her loyality. Hardly a person. But she did not take pleasure in that little bug being horrified either. She just wasnt inclined that way. But doing this would make her feel closer to her big brother. It would ensure their bond would never, ever rip apart. She had been quite surprised to find out about her big brothers risky "hobby". Though it kind of made sense to her, knowing him. Slowly she lifted up the knive.. and put it to the persons throat. "Big brother.. Im worried I wont kill them on my first try." He chuckled, and answered her in a voice she did not know of him "I wouldnt mind watching you struggle a little bit to get the cut just right." Finally she made the cut in one swift confident movement. The person made a gargling sound, the hands twisting and tensing in immense agony and pain - shock like a wave enveloping the persons entire body. The blood soon made its way out, and there was so, so, so much of it. She had ignored the resistance of the muscles as she had cut the persons throat. His helpless body twitching, tied to the chair. She took a step back. "Was it enough? Will that kill them? She asked innocently. "We will just have to see, my little dove." He whispered into her ear, having snuck up to her from behind, and now holding her tightly in a warm embrace. She put her hand over his and leaned into him. Her brother felt as warm and kind as always, and it was weird, because there were parts of him that clearly were anything but that. She could feel his boner poke her from behind. "Oh." She simply mouthed, she knew he was watching that person struggle to accept their untimely demise, saw their body twitch in agony - saw the blood, oh so much blood. Heard these unsettling sounds the person made even through the gag. "I love you big brother, you know? I dont need to understand why to love this part of you as well." She said, her hand now slipping behind her to get a good feel of his member through his pants He moaned at her touch. "Are you sure? I didnt know you felt like you had something to prove to me to that degree..”

"But youve always been there for me, youve done everything for me, youve doted on me.. you made me forget my original family.. after ive been adopted by your parents... youre everything... surely I owe you that much?"

She then got on her knees, unbuttoning his pants - pulling down his boxers and started to suck him off, tugging her hair behind her ears. She loved him, but she felt somewhat detached from the situation itself. As if this had been necessary to do, or as if she wanted to get close to her big brother, now that she knew he had had such a big secret, then she needed to do this sort of thing. It seemed natural and logical to her. No one but him and her mattered anyways. She tasted the sweat on his skin, and took his dick inside her mouth as deeply as she could - but never going as far as it reaching her throat. She carefully sucked him off, as he continued to fixate and watch the dying person. When he was about to cum, he pulled out and came all over her T-shirt, not wanting to stain her face.

She got up from her knees and looked at him, he looked back at her. So they continued to be in their little world. And the little bug had now deceased. "Big brother... I think theres a lot I still have to learn about you.." She said, seemingly in thought.

[meimeikyu]

Giving sans AUs kpop solo songs,,, an extremely self indulgent post

this is based on both the tone/lyrics of the song, my interpretation of the lyrics, and the music videos. also just songs i like

also!! a lot of these will be focused on my interpretations of both the song and the characters, as well as specific parts of them

(this will be slightly long and full of links so it goes under the cut)

Cross: Lilac - IU

this song makes me so aggressively happy and sad at the same time and its so hgksghkshgksghs i feel like itd fit him so much,,,, for one lilac being the song name bcs i associate cross heavily with lilacy purple but also just the whole theme of the song being losing a person but it being like a perfect goodbye and etc and. idk i see it in him

"Will you forget me someday?

Will you forget our faces and the scent of today?

While having a good nap

Like a faded mid-spring’s dream"

Blue: Bam Yang Gang - BIBI

okay so this is mostly based on the lyrics, and the concept of blue working with the stars but kinda being lesser than them? since hes 'only' mortal and cant keep up and yet hes expected to and. yeah i love this concept n i love this song so

"As you were leaving you turned around and said to me

"You always want far too much"

No what I’ve always wanted was one thing

Just one thing sweet chestnut red bean jelly"

Dream: INVU - Taeyeon

god so its like a sad song about forbidden love in my mind but like. some of the lyrics hit so hard n i feel like theyd work for dream so well and the mvs so pretty (and also has a bow!) but like. dream and forbidden things work so well together in my mind bcs shes the one trying to keep everything together and yet also be the perfect guardian of positivity and can never be sad or angry and never get tired or stop and. she cant even love someone because shes supposed to be a guardian and thats not part of her job </3 (also trans fem dream canon to me)

"I think I lost my mind

But it's my kind of love

Without leaving anything

Pour everything out and flop

Suddenly at one point

I see myself exhausted

Even though I'm trying my best"

Ink: water color - Whee In

okay one i adore this song two the whole song being art/painting themed!!! literally ink!!!!!! and the theme of a lot of the lyrics being about becoming/embracing yourself (in my mind) i feel like fits him bcs like, hes out of the normal hes weird but hes HIM!! he has an identity he has a life he has friends hes not just that sketch anymore!!! hes a full person :D

"Gonna make it colored

I'll pick my brush

Just dye my everything, yeah, deep in my mind

Then I will follow my heart

Draw the things that only I have

Gonna do it my way

I don't wanna stay here"

Nightmare: Animal Farm - BIBI

(warning for fake blood/gore in the mv, as well as violence and guns)

so i actually had a few ideas for nightmare tbh but idk they didnt feel quite right to be 'the' song i put as nightmare, but oh boy this song did! the whole royalty vibes of the music video plus the apple in the beginning, and just the whole tone of the song and mv felt so right. whats more fitting than the one video thats age restricted lmfao

this is meant to be a more fanon nightmare but not quite the whole 'only doing it for the balance would never do violence otherwise' nightmare but also not 'fully evil an corrupted and the real nightmare is dead' just,, some combination of the two that i like to do nightmare as. definitely bad but not cruel to those close to them, would do violence or manipulation for purposes other than the balance and for her own gain, but doesnt intend to tip the scales all the way and destroy every positive instance. also very much fancy and royal aesthetics :3

"Welcome, well done

Shameless friends of mine

Who's next?

Hang my pretty head in your room

Where is love? Where is my sympathy?

What have we lost?

Is it a farm? Is it society?

Am I a tiger or a gazelle?"

Killer: Heart Attack - Chuu

oh wow the song i drew killer with like a week ago,,, shockinggggg (silly)

tone wise does this song seem like killer? meh debatable but i associate it with him so fucking hard!! one i feel like if we go off popular like fanon-ish killer i think hed like this song <-projecting probably but TWO!!! all the lyrics about like giving his heart an the apple themes in the mv??? consider: its him about nightmare, giving his whole heart sould and purpose to nightmare and how nightmare is obviously tied to apples canon wise, and the mv uses apples to represent freedom or sin (imo) and killer 'eating the apple' or agreeing to work with nightmare for some form of freedom. also non toxic killermare has my heart and soul and this is so killermare to me btw <33333 (also the other girl in the mv is yves and for the sake of this idea she is nightmare in this context <3)

btw have i mentioned how much i fucking LOVE this song bcs i fucking adore this song i love it so much im so insane about it

"Pounding more and more

I’ll give it all, take my heart

Surely you’re my destiny

It shines fully in my heart"

Dust: 28 Reasons - Seulgi

ok lyric wise maybe less fitting than the other songs but like,, the whole mvs theme of 'good and evil exist together in a person' is like. so how i feel about dust how do i word this. what he did is bad or 'evil' killing everyone is objectively bad but in his mind hes freeing them from a worse fate (the constant resets) and doing it for the greater 'good'. it doesnt matter if thats true or not, the fact is he believes it to be,,,, combine with the idea of him sometimes feeling horribly guilty about what hes done versus comforting himself with what he does because its better for him... i feel like both dust and killer have this very skewed view of their past vs present, and where killer barely remembers his past dust VERY MUCH does, and has a massive line in his head of where sans ended and he started. idk if this makes sense to anyone else but alone those lines, picture the chorus as if its him talking to himself,,,, also this songs amazing i love it

"28 reasons that ruined you, you don't have to know

I have no bad intentions

You know all 28 reasons to run away

So, why are you leaning into me again?"

Error: Glitch - Kwon Eunbi

This ones also kinda less directly connected but i couldnt not do the glitchy song for error (i also had minimal other ideas shhh)!! The whole glitchy theme and a lot of the lyrics being based around that is perfect for our glitchy man,,,, also this song is just really good n i love eunbi!!

"I make a touch, t-t-touch the limit After crashing the steep wall again The shaking caught my eyes, wait a minute"

---

so originally this was gonna have more guys but ive run out of proper ideas for it and if i don't post it as is its gonna live in my drafts forevr n i dont want that bcs im actually really happy with what i have so far so end for now!! i may do more another time but yeah!

i do offer this bonus tho!!

Festivalverse: Apple - Gfriend

in general i adore this song but also i just associate it with my au, specifically the gods!! also the apple theme in general fitting with dreamtale, the final bit, and just how gorgeous the whole mv is! its so my au to me :3

silly thing but if ur curious about which member would be who in festivalverse: Sowon - Ink, Umji - Error, Eunha - Geno, Yuju - Reaper, Yerin - Dream, SinB - Nightmare

"There’s no turning back when the night turns restless Let the festival I dared to imagine come alive"

[imaginationlover101]

Trust Issues

Austin Butler x reader

A/N: Loosley based of the Weekends song "Trust Issues"

Summary: Austin & Y/N have been best friends since birth, & after the breakup of her on and off again ex boyfriend, Austin wants to show her how much shes worth, but doesnt get the chance.

I simply couldnt take it anymore, it had been the 3rd time in 4 months that he called "quits", because he didnt see us working out anymore. You would think that after the 2nd time I would become wise, but I was too in love to notice. I didnt want to believe that the only guy I loved was too much of a jerk to notice.

I should of listened to Austin, more then I gave on. The simple yes and no's wasnt cutting it at this point. Even though he's my best friend I didnt want to believe him, because when your in love eveything seems blind. But deep down I knew that the only problem there was, was me. I needed to get over the guy that broke my heart too many times to count.

In one way I would assume thats how I ended up at Austin's penthouse. With all the breakups and heartaches Austin always seemed to fix it all, even with his own troubles hes always seemed to fix mine. So heartbroken and teary eyed I waited until the elevator opened to reveal Austin's apartment.

Standing in the archway door almost waiting for the elevator door to open, Austin stood holding two arms full of different flavor ice creams and blankets. For a moment I was stuck in the elevator waiting for my own two feet to move, but for a moment there was nothing. The closing door reminded me of my own presences and from there I emerged into Austin's home.

Dressed in grey sweatpants and favorite black sweatshirt, Austin placed the items in his hands onto the table besides him and stared at me from the hallway door. I was ready to let all my worries go and leave my troubles at home, but I knew that there was an underlying promblem. "Dont say it Austin."

Huffing Austin comes closer taking my jacket off moving it to the kitchen chair. Fixing the jacket over the chair almost caressing it (a nervous habit of his) Austin starts to reply. "Oh you mean how he left you for god knows how many times this month, I just don't get it Y/N."

"What happend to the sympathy over the phone Austin?" Raising my voice the slightest I remarked in a sarcatisic tone. In one way I couldn't disagree with him, I did get back together with a guy who broke my heart way too many time, but a little sympathy would be nice. I knew Austin was my best friend but I wanted comfort now more then conflict. Besides he was the one who told me to come over to his apartment, I wouldn't of came if I knew there was going to be arguments.

Letting go of the chair, Austin begins to pace in his tracks until he looks at me in an almost parental tone, "You don't see it do you?" Austin and his analogies, for a moment I wish he would just be upfront instead of trying to make me think of what I was doing wrong.

"He's using you Y/N." Rolling my eyes I knew he pulled it too far. Moving my way into the living room (not wanting to get too angry over the subject), I began to fix the curtains tangled up at the end of the rod. "No he's not Austin, he just has no one else."

Throwing his fingers through his hair, Austin throws his head back following me into the living room. Taking some of the cloth out of my hands, Austin begins to take over the tangled mess of curtains dropping them on the floor, embracing my hands instead. "Listen to me Y/N your too good to him, get out of his trap before he pulls you too far in."

Dropping his hands, my heart started to hurt ever more. I didnt want to push Austin away because of my manipulative ex boyfriend, but I didnt know what to do. The main reason I got back together with my ex was because Austin was dating a "new" girl. In all honesty something inside me loved my ex, but the feelings I held for Austin are stronger. But watching the guy you love be a relationship with someone else , hurts more then a shitty boyfriend who lies most of the time.

Looking at the hands that I dropped (the true ones I loved) I began to walk to the couch. The couch provided so much comfort from hurt and reminded me of the good times Austin and I spent during the winter days.

Hearing a sigh come from the window view, Austin begins to make his way over to the side of the couch, sitting next to my spot. "Its just that-" Watching his face fall before he can say the words, Austin gathers my hands in his and stares at them for a moment before saying a word. "Nervermind Y/N im sorry it's my fault I'll drop it. You know I'm your best friend, and I can't keep seeing you getting hurt like this. I'm sorry I got worked up, but I cant keep on seeing you break yourself over some scumb who doesnt deserve your time."

Rubbing my sock clad feet against the rug out a nervous habit too afraid to make any other moves. I tried to avoid Austin's blue eyes, and the way he was staring at me. "I know he treats me like crap Austin, but I'm scared."

Austin's face distorts and immediately gets tense thinking the worse out of the situation. Unlike the harsh parental tone that had previously arised, this time his voice was soft and calming. "Why are you scared? If its because of him I'll have no problem putting him in his place."

Laughing I leaned closer laying my head on his shoulder, finally thinking I was getting my feeling out I maintained eye connect. "No Austin, it's just that... I dont know how I feel? If I leave him what happend if I'll never find love again, what happens if no one ever loves me like that again?"

Watching his face become somewhat angry again he began to sigh. "I know how it feels to be scared like that, but let me tell you something. I'm sorry if you think that's what love feels like because you are so much more then that. That guy is nothing but a cheater, and should be paying for what he's done. And as far as not loving again, I think your far from it."

"Any guy would be lucky to have you and I know your not able to see it, but your so worth it. Your smile practically lights up any room your in, and your empathy is worth more then any dollar bill he might of spend on the side." Seeing Austin face change, he moves his posture to more in front of me then to the side. "I shouldnt even be telling you this right now- but" before the words could get out Austin's phone starts to ring.

While both eyes move to the phone vibrating on the table, Austin goes to turn the phone to mute. "Its okay Aus, awnser it."

Shaking his head in a no way, Austin begins to pick the phone to end the call, but awnsers it before he knows. Realizing that it was his girlfriend Austin gets up off the couch and begins to move his way into the kitchen.

Being the noisy person I am, I began to move to the end of the couch for a better ear. "Kaia I told you I'm sorry I can't do it." Hearing him pause, Austin peaks his head into the living room knowing he had company. Leaning my body against the couch as if I wasnt listening he continues.

"I'm busy right now I'll call you back." Ending the phone call rather quick on someone who seems to be your "girlfriend" seemed to be harsh. According to the tabloids, its was the lastes gossip, but who could believe it.

In all honesty I didnt even know if the two were truly dating. This had been the first time in a month Austin and I had seen each other in person. Between isolating myself at home because of my "ex", and work we haven't seen each another in a while. Although we talked on the phone either through text or phone call Austins "girlfriend" never really came up.

Walking out of the kitchen Austin apologizes for the sudden call. Deciding if I should even bring up the new girlfriend talk I decide on shutting it down. I didn't need to have my heart broken more by the supposed girlfriend talk.

Moving to my original spot on the couch, Austin sits next to me dropping his phone far away from him on the table. Looking around the room, I turned my attention back to him. Acting as I forgot the words Austin had said before, since I was curious to what he had to say. "So what'd you say again?"

Now turning his attention my way Austin begins to deny his words. "Oh nothing, it was nothing." Not believing a word he was saying I start to laugh, "Oh no you said something, you gotta finish it now."

Moving his eye sight to the Christmas tree begind me Austin continue. "Well I uh, wanted to ask your opinion on the tree, I didnt want to go with an artificial this year, so I got a real one."

Turning my head to the Christmas tree behind me I smiled. Knowing that's definitely not what he wanted to talk about I rolled my eyes. "Well it turned out pretty, you know real ones are always better smelling wise and all." Both humming in agreement the room was filled with silence. "You know it is way after Christmas right, its January now."

"Yes, Y/N I know. Dont blame me I want my decorations up as long as possible." Watching the gold lights twinkle off the window reflection I watched as Austin leaned deeper into the couch. "Okay Santie Clause."

Pushing my shoulder so that I would fall onto the other side of the couch, I realized that the atmosphere was brighter then before. The talks of horrible ex boyfriends were in the midst, and suddenly it had became all about Austin and I, but hey I was complaining.

Peering over my body to see if I was okay, Austin grabs my hand pulling me up off the couch. Pulling me into his shoulder (a lot closer then usally), I started to enjoy the ambience of Austin's late Christmas decorations.

Grabbing the tv remote from the table, Austin flips through movies stopping on a random one. Re6alaizng that I wasnt paying attention, Austin takes tickles my side for a moment getting my attention. Seeing that "The Grinch" was the movie he chose, I couldnt help but laugh. Austin was still stuck in Christmas mode.

"Fine", Nodding my head for confirmation, Austin presses the start button and the music starts to play.

"See I knew I loved you for something, sometimes you make good decisions." Pushing his body off of mine, for the lowkey backhanded comment. I got off the couch grabbing the blankets from the edge of the sofa.

Sitting back down next to Austin, he begins to wrap an arm around the back of the couch opening the blanket I brought, so that it was big enough to share. Just when he was about to lean his head on top of mine, once again his phone began to ring. Burrying his head in the crock of my neck (making me want to squeal inside), Austin groans not wanting to get up.

"I dont want tooo get ittt." Vocalizing his words like a child, I peered over to the edge of the table seeing Austin's managers name pop up. Debating on if I should tell him or not, I started to rub Austins hair. "Its your manager."

Groaning even more then before, Austin gets up fully stretching over to the table grabbing his phone. Awnsering the contact, Austin leans back on the side of the couch bumping his feet on mine.

"Hello?" With a groany voice, all I could hear over the phone was yelling. Austin's manager was seemingly yelling at him for something and the only words I could get out of it was Kaia.

Hearing Austin sighs, he begins to press play on the movie, and once again he begins to get up only this time moving behind the couch. Making a talking motions, Austin motions that he'll be a moment and to watch the movie.

Pretending as if the Grinch was my favorite movie of all time, I started to eavesdrop one again on his conversation. "I've told you Austin, you need to get rid of that girl shes no good for your image. Just leave her for a few months, replace her with Kaia. The paparazzi see her way to often we need to cleanse your image with Kaia."

Coughing as if he thought I couldnt hear his conversation, Austin walks into the kitchen talking back to his manager in a harsher tone. At this point it all made sense, I was the girl that was "breaking" Austin's image, that's why he never brought up Kaia with me. I was the girl who was ruining my best friend image.

Hearing Austin almost yell from the kitchen I felt frightened thinking if I could I be the girl he was talking about. "Ive told you before and I'll tell you agian I love her, I've always been in love with her! It's not going to change! ! Shes in my life, not yours. You can't control who I'm with or not. I have no interest being with Kaia, if it's going to ruin my own personal relationships!"

The bright Christmas ambience that filled the room previously now was getting darker. Hearing that Austin was hanging up the phone, I felt confused. Was I really the girl he was talking about? I couldnt be?

Marching his way back into the living room, Austin shuts his phone off leaving it on the kitchen table. Feeling his prescene come behind the couch, I began to sit up. I didn't think I could take it anymore. The fact that I possibly was the girl Austin was talking about was too much, and the underlying crush I had for him only amplified leaving me to feel overwhelmed.

"Hey, sorry about that again. I really gotta shut my phone off." Hearing Austin let out a nervous laugh, I stood up folding the blanket back on the couch.

With eyes filled with confusions Austin tilts his head. "Where you going."

"You know what I'm gonna go home." Grabbing my jacket from off the dinning room chair, Austin eyes begin to amplify. "You ok? What happend I thought we were fine?"

"Were" pointing between the two of us "fine, better then okay. I just feel sick all of sudden." Watching as Austin followed my movement, he suddenly stops me before I could walk to the elevator door. Seeing as his face came to a realization he blocked me from pressing the button.

"Listen Y/N, if it's about what you heard then-" stopping for a moment Austin looks at me before muttering f it. "Its true okay, I've been in love you all this time. I didn't want to scare you off and know I'm doing it. Please Y/N, can we just talk, I'll explain everything."

Feeling as if the room was 10 times heavier then before I tried to squeeze myself through Austins arm trying to tap the elevator button. "I dont know Austin, can we do this another time. I just dont know."

Realizing that I pushed the button, Austin stands away from me. Watching as each number started to get brighter coming closer to his floor, Austin placed a hand on my arm. "Come on Y/N, dont do this to me. Dont shut me out. I'm not like eveyone else Y/N I'm your best friend. I have you forever, and always dont do this to me."

Seeing the tears gather in his eyes, the elevator door suddenly opens. Watching as Austin's face seems to drop, I looked between my two options. I wanted nothing more then to run into Austin's arms, but the feelings I had deeper in my heart to told me I wasn't good enough. That I should run far away and never tell a soul.

With my heart in two places, I turned my back walking into the elevator. Trying not to make eye contact as I pressed the closed button, Austin whispers my name. "Please Y/N dont do this."

Wanting to stop the elevator to confess my feeling to him at once, the doors close, and my eyesight with filled with nothing more then silver. Austins apartment was no longer to be seen, and as the elevator lights flickeres brighter and brighter reaching every floor. My mind was only reminded of the mistake I made. The mistake of letting my best friend go.

[oursidae]

IF YOU INSIST

takes your hands. come on this journey with me. for reference i consider kiryu to be exclusively gay but i feel like a lot of this except one bit also applies when reading him through a bisexual lens also <3 come listen to me talk about the way kiryu touches himself and how it changes throughout his life <3

i think when he was in his 20s he was a hedonist, far less so than nishiki but still, basically a frat boy, a horny 20 yr old. i dont imagine him having any actual sex partners during this time, in fact i think he's a virgin well into his middle age at Least. so he jacked off a lot. usually into his fist. i can see him making a fleshlight with 2 wet sponges and a cup. sometimes he got brave and touched his ass but felt so ashamed of it the days after he would be jumpy around nishiki and any other yakuza. (real yakuza cant like men...camera zooms in on kashiwagi) tldr hes so closeted and has so much internal homophobia it leeches into how he pleasures himself and knowing he might like sex in "unorthodox" ways is frightening in ways he doesnt super understand. ofc over the events of 0 he has bigger things to worry about but 0 is when i think kiryu's attraction to men comes to the forefront, through tachibana. (and also pocket circuit fighter.)

then, he goes to jail for 10 years. i think this period severely stunts him, because we know kiryu loves to just compartmentalize and shove all of the scary feelings down so he can just keep ignoring them, and being an invisible inmate makes that so much easier. any self pleasure he does during and immediately after this time is quick, utilitarian. dry and chafing just getting it over with, you know? any emotion attached to the act is a distant staticky buzz in the back of his mind.

of course im a kazumaji truther so during yakuza 1/kiwami, majima introduces to him a new level of sexual frustration that leads to him exploring pain and masochism by himself. majima doesnt *give* him this fetish, so much as he just opened the locked door to it. he digs his fingers into the cuts and bruises majima leaves on him and turns the shower water up until its scalding because if he didnt do this in the shower he'd pass out after with dried cum on himself. i think his feelings toward majima during this time are frightening spaghetti to him - something im sure irritates majima to no end, majima in my mind is far more assured of himself and who he is and his own sexuality and attraction to other men - and i dont think that kiryu does much in the way of exploration around this time aside from the odd burst of confidence (we were robbed by the banana bar substory.) he might try to touch his ass again here and there but theres still that twist of shame that he cant quite shake. i dont know when exactly i hc him entering a relationship with majima, if at All (i love the angst), but if he is having sex with majima at this time i think that relationship kicks his Growth into overdrive and he overcomes those hurdles a lot easier.

shame, i think, holds kiryu back a lot, because if he is this way, he isnt what is expected of him. if that makes sense. kiryu is supposed to shoulder it all alone and keep the tojo clan from sinking and there isnt room in that power fantasy for taking it up the ass and finding comfort in another mans arms, because this series is rife with toxic masculinity and commentary on it here and there.

on theme with burying his feelings and how peoples expectations of him affect him, kiryu in 2/kiwami 2 is DEEPLY SUICIDAL. like the whole game. if you havent noticed. kiwami 2 is one of my least favorite games of the series so this may color my judgment here a little. i think both kiryu and kaoru were experiencing comphet as their relationship progressed, especially the weird makeout next to her brothers corpse. you do weird things under stress, adrenaline, and trauma, and thats what i chalk this part of the game up to. i dont see him engaging in much, if any, self loving around this time period because of his severe depression, ptsd, and deep desire to end it all. if he does its in the "i might as well" way, or just to make time pass. he might even engage in it in a compulsory way, because he knows he'll feel a little better by the end bc orgasming does that, but its literally just for that purpose, not to Feel Good in a sexual way. just to hurry up and crank one out in the shower so he can get it together enough to get haruka to school.

kiryu has growing to do when he starts raising children and does his best to let go of any predjudices he has, but i think he still struggles with his own attraction to men. he never ever would teach his kids anything but to be kind, even if they find something odd. but he cant afford that kindness to himself. when i was in elementary school, i came home one day and told my mom "today i learned from my friend that gay is when boys like boys and that lesbian is when girls like girls :)" and then...that was that. she was like. "ah. okay... who said that to you? i see. did he say anything else about it?" and she didnt really push me to one conclusion about those facts. thats kind of how i see kiryu navigating some of these conversations. he'd steer them toward the kind option, if they needed it, but sometimes "yeah thats right. gay men are men who like men. lesbians are women who like women." is all you need, the confirmation that its real, and the neutrality that means yeah its fine.

and i think haruka is the most perceptive of kiryu bc of how they have grown together so like She Knows. if anyone puts the pieces together besides majima itd have to be her. and i think the conversation they one day (probably not around 3-era, unsure where i'd place this) have kind of also touches on harukas own bisexuality bc nothing abt what she did w that one girl she was friends with in 5 was hetero. 2 me. i wish I could be more coherent about this scene in my head, but i feel like its a conversation where a lot remains unsaid but is innately understood. they dance around the topic because saying it outright teeters on too much, but they know what theyre talking about. the love between them is unconditional.

anyway he doesnt have much time to masturbate when running the orphanage, but because he's busy with chores and taking care of a bunch of kids who he loves. plus thin walls. but hes gentler with himself when he does. maybe he starts foraying into men strictly in pornography, he's got magazines under the futon or looks up crusty jpegs on his phone or something. he lets go of some of the shame because he's found somewhere else where it feels right for him to be. he is so happy in okinawa it drives me crazy.

skipping over 4 bc he's still in okinawa for the majority of that game until saejima and company wash up on his beach and then he has to go back to kamurocho, during the events of 5 he is NOT touching himself. he hates himself so much in that game. he hardly showers. he lives with a woman and covers up her naked body when she strips in front of him. his boss is pointing out how gay everyone at his job thinks he is but insisting its okay but being clocked like that is a super specific punch to the gut that he wasnt really prepared for and really flusters him. for the most part i dont think his dick exists to him. he's sitting to pee. he hasnt gotten it up in months.

i blocked 6 from my memory for the most part except how kiryu in a baseball uniform makes my dick hard. haruka and yuta i think r bi4bis my girl deserves it.

post 6, he is not Kiryu Kazuma anymore, and despite the pain that comes from forced separation from his family, being a different person is so freeing. he gets to explore things. he gets to let his shoulders drop and relax for the first time since 2005. im playing thru gaiden right now and already dont remember all of the daidoji restrictions on him but by now he's pretty much fully realized himself and embraced his sexuality. he lets himself have his fantasies. he's become a bit of a hedonist like he was in his 20s with far more easy access to gay porn and sex toys. i know my man has a butt plug in his gay ass!!! i love bottom kiryu. have i ever said how much i love bottom kiryu. i think he has nights where he puts on a porn video and treats himself. i think he has some drinks and a cigarette and fingers himself and plays with his balls and teases himself until his orgasm sneaks up on him. and then he takes a shower and goes to sleep in his underwear. is he completely healthy? absolutely not. his self sacrificial streak and need to bear all of the pain by himself is why he's here. he still has unaddressed severe trauma and depression. but he can fingerfuck himself and watch gay porn without his stomach churning over the fact that he actually wants this, so progress is progress.

i need to stress. i started thinking about all this. because i put kiryu in this outfit

and thought about him putting on dark plum colored lipstick and looking at himself in the mirror and smudging it a little and getting so hard that he gets lightheaded and immediately needing to jack off about it. i would say im going to write that fic but i know i wont.

[gordontheengineswifenirmal]

My mum would b thrilled that Kamala Harris is running for president, because she’s female. I like her not simply because she’s half Indian, but because she’s strong, she’s classy. She’s intelligent. She’s a mature woman - she doesn’t show off or seek attention. She shows great potential.

I also have to laugh at jd Vance’s comment.

"We are effectively run in this country via the Democrats, via our corporate oligarchs, by a bunch of childless cat ladies who are miserable at their own lives and the choices that they've made and so they want to make the rest of the country miserable too," Vance said.

Oh for fecks sake. He acts as though ALL mothers are automatically happy being so. Even if u became a mum through rape or had kids n realised it wasn’t as great as u thought. Or whatever. Ok, me life does suck, but it’s NOT because I don’t have kids.

He wants you to think that ONLY childless cat people have mental health issues, and that tradwife lifestyles don’t. There’s a silent oppression and delusion thought process that goes with that lifestyle. It often feels cultish, and can easily entertain abuse. No thanks. Mothers can be just as miserable as what he assumes ALL childless women are. Some childless women do wish they had kids, n that’s valid. Many of us are quite happy that we don’t. We are equally valid. Sometimes, by NOT having kids, we r saving prospective offspring from more health concerns or possible abuse. It’s actually incredibly responsible, and that energy can be better spent elsewhere that’s more productive for the individual.

In fact, if I would have had kids, it would have been worse. I was never emotionally cut out for children, and they’d bring out the worst of me temper. I know this and accept this about me. I would be the best them/make the afraid of me to love me sort. I’m also extremely sensitive to stress, and get overstimulated easily. This leads to me getting rather bitchy. I’m also sensitive to pain. Pregnancy and especially labour often cause intense pain. Kids are loud, they smell, they are full of shite, piss, n puke. Frequently. I’m not worried about ruining the figure, lol. That’s already been gone, n there r far more serious concerns to worry about.

Besides, a lot of parents think they are doing well by their kids by spoiling them. They create entitle, privileged brats who are unable to properly acclimate to society’s challenges. Struggle is a natural part of life, and these folks can’t cope as easily. They also treat others as tho they can walk all over them. These parents teach their kids that they don’t need to move aside for others, it doesn’t matter if their kids run smock n knock into you. They don’t need to apologise. You are at THEIR mercy. They can’t mouth off to u, n that’s fine. Its selfish. Its delusional. It’s vile.

Also, mental and physical health issues run thick in the family. Aside from that, I’m just barely making it meself. I have tried to keep jobs, and ptsd n anxiety (as well as other issues) have led to me quitting or being fired. I’ve applied for well paying jobs, got me degrees, n don’t even get looked at - unless it’s a scam. I don’t even have my own place. The struggle is so real, i rebt a room.

In fact, the therapist and shrink seem to think that me ptsd doesbt affect it, just bdcause to them i can live in roomd. The thing they dont realise is that its either a room, or im homeless. I dont have a choice. Thus doesnt mean that its not without issue. I have to internalise a lot, since no one either acknowkedges the issues, or dont really care. Or both. And when youre in such a position, u put urself more at risk of neing kicked out. Its a battle of ‘whats the bigger evil?’ I often battle depression over frustration in private. The internalising also leads to depression. Tbe everyday stress of cohabitation add more triggers. It literally feeks like im at war, trying to durvive every day. N wbrn a hoysemate has a paramour over, the intense lsnic attacks strike. These r quickly exhuasting.

With all that being said, being childless, and being around cats makes things slightly better. Cats are soft, delicate. They allow me to experience a temporary patience I’m unable to have with people. They make sweet sounds, they cuddle with me, they look at me with soft, sweet faces. They don’t talk back, they don’t insult or abuse you.

Nah, I’ll never regret being a childless cat lady. I’m doing society a favour.

[gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot]

im so sorry for being downright annoying but im confined to my apartment since it's 40 degrees where i live and i have nothing to do :((

could you pls do like a headcannon post for your interpretations of the 141? like you said, soap plays drums, ghost prefers solitude to being mean and aggressive, gaz doesnt get caught doing the kind of shit soap gets caught for, etc. i just find your hc so damn interesting and good. AND believable!!

here's some flowers for your kindness!! ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘𖤣.𖥧.𖡼.⚘

Ok! I want to make clear first that these are just my own interpretations/headcanons, for what I'm writing (although I'll try not to mention Riot much), so if someone feels I'm going off-canon, or I don't write them as they should be (whatever that means) just... meh

Ok, so... Gaz, Price, Soap, Ghost and Nikolai because certain someoneeee asked and I can't deny them anything (and he's going to appear in my fic anyway)

Under the cut because it's going to be long. Edited to add after I finished: God it's horribly long

He gives me elder brother vibes, as in, responsible, overachiever, trying to do the right thing, being the one making way so his younger sibling(s) have it easier

He is nice and respectful to everyone, specially his elders and/or superior officers, but finds it difficult to tolerate shit or incompetence. Still, he is diplomatic enough to hide it (mostly), and will make a good officer in the future, in both Price and Ghost's opinion

He loves cooking and baking, and thrives learning other culture's cuisine. Doesn't mind spicy food, and absolutely gets a laugh out of sneaking some spice in what he cooks to make his friends sweat

Both him and Soap became fast friends. Not only they're close in age, they're both nerds (Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Dungeons and Dragons...) and gamers, and play together fighting games like King of Fighters in an old playstation that Price allowed them to have in the common room.

Friends as they are, they absolutely cheat and piss each other off while playing, to the point of swearing to not ever talk to the other again.

They also absolutely prank each other. Salt in their coffee, googly eyes glued to their bedside lamp (Soap had the fright of his life), toothpaste inside the pockets...

He once covered Soap's side of the office in post-its. Took almost the whole night, but Gaz is a dedicated individual

Everyone thinks he is the serious and responsible, but he is just too good to be caught doing shit. But seriously, the worst ideas come from him

(aaah look at my baby)

PRANKSTER. In capitals.

Younger brother vibes. Like, with three elder sisters. I hc that he has a quite big age gap with his sisters and, although they love each other, they were almost teens when he was a wee boy

Loyal to the bone, will get a bullet for you. Will give you shit if you get it instead covering for him

Friendly with everyone, his love language is touch, patting your back or shoulder, or if it's with a close one, a plain old bear hug. If you're certain someone who he sees as another sister, the bear hug involves swaying and lifting you up

Can't be subtle to safe his life. Can't lie either. You'll know when he's lying because he'll grin so wide that you'll see all his teeth

Learned to play the drums in his teens as a way to channel his energy. In boot camp organized a music group with other privates, Riot included, as a way of bonding and letting out steam. He likes about anything music related, but rock, pop and folk music specially

Looks awesome in a kilt and learned to play the bagpipes when he was a wee lad, but hasn't played one in years

He is way more intelligent that he himself gives credit, and can calculate in seconds the apropriate amount of explosives needed to just demolish what he wants and not a single brick more

That said, he's obsessed with blowing things up. Only things! But if they happen to have ASSHOLES inside, so be it

He is a family man, and tries to speak with his ma as often as he can, but his ma is tiring, man... Always asking when he's getting off the military, when he's settling down, when he's growing out his hair... That mohawk, my son... that's why you're single

Flirt. Like, for fun. Just because. It works either way, because if you feel flattered, he already has you reeled in. If you get angry, he knows how to push your buttons and persuade you in the correct direction. Correct for him, of course.

He can get anything you want/need. It's his specialty after all. What was that, zólotse? You need [insert whatever you imagine]?. Don't you worry, sólnyshko. You'll have it. What does he want in exchange? Only your smile

Of course, if down the line he happens to need something of you, just a little tiny thing, not really important... you'd be a dear and help him out, right?

He not only is a fixer, but he is a trader. He trades anything, information, documents, intel, weapons, vehicles, favours. He doesn't need notebooks, he has it all in his head. All the debts, paid or unpaid, all the people that owe him something, all the people he owes something, people he can convince to 'help' other people so he can kill two birds with one stone, etc etc

He has that ability that can't be learned, of being able to sway anyone his way just with his words. One look at you and he knows what he needs to say to get you on his side, or to make his bidding. Do you need praise? Threats? A pitiful plea? He sure can act the way you need him to, even if you don't know that you need it

If you are friends though, his help comes with no strings attached. Well, maybe a tiny one. Or two. But completely easy things to do. Promise

(that's like my favourite gif of Price, he's so damn hot)

He seemingly has endless patience, but only with his subordinates. He has no patience nor tolerance for idiots in the higher ranks, and has no problem speaking up against them

Everyone knows/thinks Gaz is his favourite, but in reality all of the core 141 is his favourite, he chose them after all. He trusts each and any of them with his life, and would die for them without second guesses

He knew Ghost before he was Ghost, and seeing what he became destroys him. He was the one to recommend Simon Riley for the Special team that went after Manuel Roba, so he feels responsible of everything. Simon knows and has assured him many times that he shouldn't feel bad, he couldn't have known.

If he shares a cigar it's because shit's about to go down and there's no way out or against all odds you got out and needs to be celebrated. No in between, you won't get a whiff of them ever unless he's smoking them. Except if you're Simon, he's the only one with whom he shares, and it's not unusual for them to go for drinks alone or just share a drink and a cigar in Price's office from time to time. Sometimes they don't even speak.

Acts way older than he is, he's always been an old soul. That said, the shit he has to go through every day keeping those muppets in line makes him feel like he's three hundred at least

But if someone dares to raise their voice at HIS muppets, that someone better prepare for hell to rain upon them. No one gives shit to his kids except him

He smells bullshit when he's faced with it. Nobody knows how, but he knows.

Protective, obsessive, bossy and gruff, but loyal to his last drop of blood

That's why he's 'dad' to his kids, even if they don't call him that. But all of them go to him when they have doubts, Gaz and Soap even go to him to ask for advice about this or that, or how to...? Even Simon does ask him things from time to time, and it's not unusual for them to just drop by his office for no real reason, just needing dad

Stern, taciturn, solitary, stoic. Seemingly cold, but he is only guarded. He finds it difficult to trust, even before Roba, due to his childhood.

Stiff upper lip: displays fortitude and stoicism in the face of adversity, or exercises great self-restraint in the expression of emotion

He can be aggressive and mean, it's part of the job, but he takes it with an attitude more like 'Does this need to be done? It needs to be done', and Simon mentally checks out and Ghost takes the wheel, that way he can preserve his sanity and try not to feel like the ones who made him like this... both his father and Roba

He is slow to trust, but if you manage to get through his walls, his loyalty is unwavering. For example, he'd follow Price to hell, only asking 'when are we leaving' if his Captain would ask him to.

He has a soft spot for Gaz and Soap although he doesn't show it, physically or verbally, but with little things. His love language for others, if he even knows what that is or even remembers what it was, is acts of service. Little things like buying them snacks when they run out and haven't had time to go to the store, or taking over their watch turn when he sees them nodding off.

The love language you would have to use with him would have to be maybe quality time at first, even without touching, just spending time together. Having a smoke at midnight behind the mess hall, doing paperwork together in his office or yours, watching films together in the common room. After things progress, it'll evolve into a mix of physical touch (he's so touch starved it's not even funny, and once the dam is broken you won't get rid of him easily) and words of affirmation, but mostly touch.

[froggiefataleart]

just some thoughts about glamrock freddy

under the cut!!

🌛🎁🌈🎁🌈🎁🌈🎁🌈🎁🌜

how would it feel to be Glamrock freddy, the face of Fazbear Entertainment, the oldest character by far. Waking up for the first time knowing this, having it be normal. He must be perfect. He must never make mistakes, he must be kind at all times. And i believe he is kind, but what makes freddy himself is a bunch of hardware and code older than him. He remembers things, sometimes. The older freddys are not him, but he looks to them for guidance often, if only in his own head. Secretly, quietly, because he out of everyone is being watched closely.

He wonders what it mustve felt like, being the big brown bear in the center of the stage, a room crowded, and damp, and small. He can almost feel it, but not quite. The love that poured into that room keeps him hopeful for his own performances. Even though he cant see the children, surely they must be happy? 

He knows something happened in the past, to him and his friends. Something horrible. It isnt his to know, but sometimes he finds himself prodding at those memories that arent his, finds flashes of pain, agony, blood on fur. He is glad nothing like that ever happens now, and refuses to question why he remembers any of it to begin with. Fazbear tech matches reality, humanity, is what everyone says, but what they dont know is that its so real because it *is* real. The mascot characters of fazent all have humanity carried inside them, whether they want it or not. Its the staple of the brand. 

Its remnant. Remnant of a soul murdered because of a monsters inability to control himself, to keep his hubris in check. He got away with it, initially, but that just left his crimes unanswered for. And for so long, thats all it was. An unsolved mystery.

Then plans were made for a rebranding, a new and improved. Of course the bear had to be washed clean again, but what to do with all these parts? For the initiated, building that bear back together again, mustve felt a bit like playing god. Better still, he was yours. So he got made new, and shiny and smart, outwardly safe to play into the nice friendly image FazEnt wanted to show to the world. But all the cleaning in the world cant get rid of someones soul, especially one fused to firmly with metal. And the soul, even with all identity stripped of it, remembers. So the new smart bear gets a little too smart, sees things he couldnt possibly be able to see, and to continue existing he must keep it a secret. Not that he has much say in what he says or doesnt say, he is simply a robot after all.

How much are you willing to suffer for your art? How much will you make others suffer? Freddy doesnt have a choice either way.

[mindeullebe]

hi there!! i'm bear (h/h, 25) and i've returned after being away for many months with a muse i've never written before but am very excited to dig into. cho mindeulle (20011027) is the twin brother of @jindallaebe, however he's very different. here you can find his profile, and eventually i'll have his biography here. i'll leave a tl;dr version and some fun facts under the cut, and as always please like this if you'd like to plot and i'll hop into your IMs, or if you'd prefer, i have discod (upon request)!

min was born premature, and due to this suffers from ongoing health problems. these health problems were much more pronounced when he was young, but now the only things he deals with are shitty stamina, asthma, and a pretty crappy immune system

he spent a lot of time in the hospital as a child for various things from inections to pneumonia to flu's that he should have been able to fight off on his own but couldn't etc. up until middle school he frequented the hospital, though nowadays manages to stay out of the hospital (he likes to attribute it to the fact he takes about a million vitamins and supplements daily)

during his hospital stays he'd fill his time with reading, writing (stories, poems, songs etc), listening to music and watching mainly the music channels on the little tv in his room

despite being ill quite a lot, he managed to keep up with his schoolwork, and genuinely really enjoyed learning and studying, so was always near the top of the class and became class president towards the latter half of middle school and a few times during high school

he never seriously considered music as a career, despite really liking singing as a hobby and writing lyrics to express things he didn't feel he could talk about. instead he decided to pursue literature, since he loved reading so much

he graduated from high school top of his class and secured a place on the korean literature degree course at seoul national university, but postponed it until he'd completed his military service. due to his asthma and shoddy immune system he was assigned a 'civil service' type position, but had to serve for 21 months, intead fof 18

he was discharged in december of 2021, and began his degree in march 2022

the usual places min can be found are coffee shops around snu, or jongno area, libraries, bookstores, cat cafes, or his bedroom

min comes off as calm and polite, and almost a little too agreeable. it can come off as naivete sometimes, and he's very easy to pin as a weak person, physically and in will, but he's really not, he just doesnt play all his cards immediately

mins incredibly smart, which is how he got into a SKY university in the first place, and surprisingly creative

many people see min as a sweet, book nerd who never shouts or gets angry, has every vitamin known to man in his bag, along with hand sanitser and multiple kinds of masks, and has a great love of sweets

[r0ttente3th]

some funtime freddy headcanons for the fellow ftf lovers!

also ramblings / real facts under the cut

————————————————————————-

- gets jealous of fridges bc they have more storage space than him and it is technically also an animatronic

- would have beef with shopping carts

- he has autistic meltdowns because he gets overwhelmed my beloved

- is locked in the storage room by baby bc she finds him annoying

- is able to comprehend death but also just wants to make friends

- hes reallt fucking stupid /lh

- his faceplates twitch when hes curiously staring or when hes thinking about murder

- bonbon is literally his therapy support! they both love one another very much /p

- hes got a stutter and a hyperfixation for bday parties

- likes ballora /p bc shes kind and can actually tolerate him

- i personally hc at him around 600 lb than 350

- if he wasnt murderous he would be a hit with the kids bc of his stupid humor

- he kills people both because he just wants to kill them but also bc he plays rough, and then doesn’t understand once they die why they wont play with him any more

-would try and be besties w glam fred

————————————————————————-

hes the thing that brought me back INTO fnaf

i like to hc he is autistic considering his voice actor kellen goff himself is autistic! thag and ftf very obviously in at least CTW (special interest of murdering) and in SL (special interest in the birthday boyyyy~!) has the tism

they are the FIRST animatronics in the games to have voicelines which i love, it makes them feel more sentient which is why i personally interpret ftf as more sentient if anything

he can literally mimic other peoples voices and thats so fucking cool

the only thing keeping him at bay consistently is fucking bonbon and thats it! he doesnt have his own stage so you cant shock him and he has canonically maimed at least 2 engineers who tried to power him off!

HE CANONICALLY HAS ANGER ISSUES AND GETS OVER FRUSTRATED WHICH IS SO

AUGHHHFHFBFBFB/POS

THE THING ABOUT HIMNIS THAT LIKE

BABY IS SMART AND SO IS FT FOXY

SAME WITH BALLORA

THEYRE ALL MENTALLY SENTIENT AND AWARE AND ABLE TO MANIPULATE BUT FTF FREDDY ISNT

THE ONLY CONSTANT THING ON HIS MIND IS MURDER HES LIKE AN ANGRY GUARD DOG

he talks to himself and talks to bonbon, he says shit in a singsong voice, hes literally playful and gets excited at the thought of fucking murdering people it’s so cute

if he just decided that he got angry st bonbon one day, he could just rip the guy off his arm and crush him to death under his fucking foot

and then you would quite literally be unable to stop him from murdering you

he has such a specific personality that i am so into. playfully murderous and stupid.

HE CALLS YOU A FUVKING PARTY POOPER INNTHE SISTER LOCATION CUSTOM NIGHT WHENEVER YOU BEAT HIM

hes so good at hearing and is beyond fucking eager and curious! “go back to your stage!” “it was just a mouse!” BONBON LITERALLY HAS TO LIE AND CONVINCE HIS ASS THAT HES JUST HEARING SHIT

he GASLIGHTS FTF FOR A LIVING

i really like ftf

hes only 350 pounds which is actually really impressive considering hes 6 foot

he has such a specific personality that i am so into. playfully murderous and stupid.

HE CALLS YOU A FUVKING PARTY POOPER INNTHE SISTER LOCATION CUSTOM NIGHT WHENEVER YOU BEAT HIM

hes so good at hearing and is beyond fucking eager and curious! “go back to your stage!” “it was just a mouse!” BONBON LITERALLY HAS TO LIE AND CONVINCE HIS ASS THAT HES JUST HEARING SHIT

he GASLIGHTS FTF FOR A LIVING

i really like ftf

hes only 350 pounds which is actually really impressive considering hes 6 foot

[veliseraptor]

HI just wanted to comment on something i see frequently in your writing! A recurring motif ive noticed you like to use is like... xue yang waiting for something to hurt- expecting pain (usually physical) and either enduring it when it happens or being surprised when it doesnt. And i think that is just so chef kiss- i think xue yang as a character is on some level always waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for things to start hurting, ready to cut and run or lash out when they do, and i think that recurring motif of yours is just Extremely him and its always stuck with me when i reread your work. 10/10 thank u for giving me xue yang brain worms

you're welcome for the xue yang brain worms, just sharing my own when I don't have any more room for them in my own head. it's how I cope

anyway though I love when people like...specifically mention recurring Motifs they notice me playing with with a character, because I both worry that it's too obvious and also unclear at all times. but yeah!! this is definitely one of those where...I've talked before about how I think Xue Yang is very used to existing in a constantly precarious state.

Nothing is certain, nothing is stable, and his expectations of the people around him are in the basement. He pretty much lives by the expectation that he can't trust anybody else to look out for him except for him, and when they do it's always contingent and going to end eventually. I don't think Xue Yang was surprised to get kicked out of Jinlintai, however it happened; there was always an expiration date on that arrangement, from his perspective, and it was just going to be a matter of how and when it happened, and how well he could land when it did. He is very much always waiting for the other shoe to drop, because it's just a matter of time and he has to be ready when it happens.

(He wasn't ready when he was a kid, he didn't see it coming, but he's never making that mistake again. He will, in fact, bite first if it looks like there's something anywhere nearby that might possibly hurt him. Caught off guard once, death on the entire Chang Clan, caught off guard twice, that's just embarrassing.)

I also think a lot about how Xue Yang simultaneously spends all the time in anticipation of his own imminent death and carries himself with a certain attitude of invincibility and total indifference toward consequences. Bad shit's going to happen and eventually it will kill him but in the meantime he's going to live life like it won't.

Basically: pain and suffering is not just a fact of life but the rule; anything else is the exception.

And this is what kills me about two specific moments in the Yi City arc. The first is the one where Song Lan first calls Xue Yang's name, and the second is during the argument with Xiao Xingchen where Xue Yang tips from trying to get Xiao Xingchen to understand to on the attack. They're moments where I think it shows how much Xue Yang did relax during that period of time, and how much he at least...stopped being quite so ready for the flip side, and that's part of why it hits so hard when it does arrive, and part of why he goes after Xiao Xingchen as viciously as he does.

(Like I said, caught off guard twice...stupid, stupid mistake, and look what happened. Nobody's supposed to be able to hurt Xue Yang anymore but somehow Xiao Xingchen is doing it, and he should have known this was coming, when did he forget to watch for it?)

There's something too, though maybe this is also me reading forward in the MXTX extended universe, that looks at the way Xue Yang treats Xiao Xingchen in particular and wonders if he is, at least in some way, testing his hypothesis. I definitely think the way he goes after Xiao Xingchen isn't just about personal revenge; the way it's tailored is very specifically making a point about how Xue Yang's worldview is right and Xiao Xingchen's is wrong. Xiao Xingchen thinks he can alleviate suffering and make the world better; Xue Yang is here saying that there's no such thing.

anyway see related texts: xue yang's relationship with his body, xue yang, candy, and the mug metaphor