#having to find 200k in two months
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Ive never been so thoroughly fucked over by life at once
Life just keeps on giving, huh?
#having to find 200k in two months#absolutely failing my doctorate evals already#my dog having a brush with death#my two best friends cutting me off bc of my disorders#getting told by one of my temporary bosses that i didnt deserve to get into my uni program#i just- this month has taken all the willpower and endurance i have and vaporized it#im so tired#my god please let me get through next week without any major incidents i cant handle another thing#shut up dan
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fun fact! assuming the hotel cost 200,000 dollars, it would take about 11 years for OJ to have his million dollars run out due to food expenses alone
#wheucto#wheucto speaks#is food expenses even a real phrase? whatever#the number 200k is based on the number ii fandom wiki gives of a little under 190k#the food costs is from balancedeverything.com/average-food-cost-per-month - i chose the lowest (2400) then multiplied it by 30#since there's like 34 contestants from ii (counting yinyang as two)_ so minus two for the ghost_ two for apple and marshmallow_ one bc -#- yinyang only has one mouth_ and adding one for mephone_ who'd also be there#actually i should've minus'd one for box since i don't think he eats but. whatever#and knowing how hotel oj runs - with the parties and casinos - i wouldn't doubt oj would try something new (and probably stupid)#also there's fixing the hotel_ furniture_ paint supplies_ there probably has to be a doctor#or maybe they just kill them who knows#so. it would take less than that#also a million seconds is 11 days. another fun fact! a billion is 31 years#honestly i find it a little ? uh. not exactly accurate (i guess) when people call him rich when he's not THAT rich#he only won a million dollars. and since the hotel probably cost 200k he's probably not even a millionaire at all#definitely not poor yknow. just. not very rich#and a decade isn't even that long. that would definitely be in the residents' lifetimes.#oj probably would have to find another source of income. somehow.#so many tags... how am i even going to swim today.
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Call It What You Want To
(soft launching with the bllk boys)
a / n — i love soft launches and blue lock…so why not combine them?
content — fluff, cutesie stuff, bllk characters x fem! reader, pretty much gn! but i did use ‘she’ so just to be safe, + your faves if you want!!
synopsis — soft launches with the boyfies <3
✿.。. “ nobody’s heard from me for months , ” .。.✿
is NEVER on social media. has accounts of course, but never posts on them. usually the most they do is repost things about soccer on their stories. so when they post these pictures as their first post EVER? it’s inevitable that their fans are going to go insane.
they preferred posting these pictures, neither of your faces showing. you’d both decided to keep your relationship “private but not secret” , if someone were to find out it was you in these photos? so be it. they would never dream of hiding you from the world.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ RIN ITOSHI, barou shouei, sae itoshi, jinpachi ego
they don't have many posts, but the ones they do have no less than a million likes each. their fans are adoring, so when they post a new photo, thousands of people get the notification and within seconds the post has 200k likes.
their fans are insane, and that's putting it lightly. they find your account within a minute all by looking at your phone case and finding your account.
the both of you wake up the next morning and find yourselves not only trending on twitter, but also with thousands of edits made of the two of you. AND A SHIP NAME??
so much for a soft launch.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ YUKIMIYA KENYU(im biased), shido ryusei, MICHAEL KAISER, hyoma chigiri
a chronic poster. i mean literal photo dumps GALORE. they had many fans, obviously with them being a famous soccer player, but also because of how 'real' they were. they would constantly post stories in the bathroom and ranting- all that fun stuff.
their fans had no indication that they'd been in a relationship at all. which was strange because due to their openness, their fans began thinking they deserved to know every little thing about them.
they just wanted to keep you their little secret for a little bit, so they posted these very inconspicuous photos and had the internet up in a frenzy.
soccerluver44: WHO IS THIS??
urmomshouse: no way
and thousands of comments just like that flooded their inbox.
this was fun, they thought. maybe for a little while longer they'd keep you their little secret. the thought crossed their mind as they pressed the 'your story' button, posting a photo of them sitting on the sink with your arms wrapped around them.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ MEGURU BACHIRA, isagi yoichi, EITA OTOYA, oliver aiku
not a constant poster, but definitely has a social media presence. they mostly post about their upcoming games and where to get tickets and watch. they definitely don't post about their personal life, so when people log on and see a soft launch??
the world goes into a state of shock. the comments are limited, so no one besides people they follow back (most of which who already knew of the relationship) are allowed to comment.
they did this on purpose. they saw no point in having strangers question them when the caption said it all
" spoiling my girl <3 "
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ REO MIKAGE, tabito karasu, jyubei aryu, DON LORENZO
✿.。. “ i'm doing better than i ever was ” .。.✿
took myself to the computer version to do this since there's a photo limit on the mobile version.
hope yall liked it though, i've never done anything like this before!!
likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!!
#bllk#bllk x reader#rin itoshi x reader#barou shouei x reader#sae itoshi x reader#jinpachi ego x reader#yukimiya x reader#kenyu yukimiya x reader#shidou ryusei x reader#kaiser x reader#chigiri x reader#bachira x reader#isagi yoichi x reader#eita otoya x reader#oliver aiku x reader#mikage reo x reader#karasu x reader#aryu x reader#don lorenzo x reader#bllk x reader fluff#★ · airybcbyy#airy posts#airy writes for blue lock#blue lock x reader#blue lock#blue lock x reader fluff
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CH3 [140K WORDS] UPDATE + A LESSON
Hi guys! sorry for the delay there was a reason for it
I fucked up my files and lost all the work I did over the few months for the chapter 2 rewrite...like all of it, im really bummed out about it. and like an idiot ive been playtesting the wrong, unfinished outdated chapter 2 lol
im ngl I did have a pretty long cry earlier which is why I took a while...and im crying now writing this lol
I know it's a wip and these things happen but I worked really hard on 200k+ words of chapter 2 to see it improved and to see it all gone and fucked up really really sucks. I value infamous really highly and am pretty hard on myself so when I dont feel like I deliver what I want to deliver it's really hard for me to move on from that. I was really excited to have this all out at once and now I feel completely disheartened. I know I just have to pick myself up and just get back to work and rewrite chapter 2 but right now im just really upset
anyway, sorry to kill the mood this is probably the worst vibe killer ever lmao I hope everyone is excited! I said I was going to release chapter 3 for band tier and thats what im doing. You'll play the prologue + chapter 1 but will have to input some variable stuff for chapter 3. I hope having chapter 3 can make up for the loss of chapter 2
Chapter 3 is 140K words.
What to expect:
perform the first week and see the outcome
quality time with ROs
drama
angst
there is an explicit scene with an RO (it's skippable) so be mindful of that !
forgot to mention that I am completely rehauling the stats (again) as well due to the new flavor text options in chapter 1 because I feel like the stats still dont encompass the broad range now that there's different canonical types of MCs but yeah not like it matters rn since you'll just input it in aha!
I find chapter 3 to be the most lighthearted of all chapters for me so I hope you guys like it. if there's any inconsistencies (there might be due to lack of chapter 2 context or whatnot), errors, passages missing etc etc.
ill be around to fix any bugs and stuff but I think im going to take a day or two to refresh because im really fucking sad lol
hope you guys enjoy it!
available for band tier
#update#authors note#forgot to add that the lesson part is me#being the lesson to fellow writers to back up your stuff lol#yeah :(
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mini thread abt how to help riize & seunghan + info 🩷🫧
note & warning: please don’t engage with ANY content of riize, for example don’t comment in their tiktoks saying “riize is 7” even if your intention is good, it breaks the purpose of the boycott!!
mass report sm's US office!! you can report using the template in the link attached in the tweet or via email!! email: [email protected]
riize boycott version (mv, songs, shows, etc.)
reporting to korea’s human rights foundation site: koreahumanrights.org
sm will pull fake scandals to distract our attention from the matter, for example as they did with sungchan yesterday! don’t believe anything, exols warned us
tweet the trending tags on twitter!! big official fan accounts always share which ones we have to use
don't buy or watch anything related to riize & sm, we’re boycotting
don’t interact with any post of sm and riize even if it’s to use the tags or supporting the boys, we’re boycotting
all the info of what did one of the persons who sent the death wreaths
ot6 are complaining to the police & government abt the displays and flowers for seunghan in front of the sm building, and according to this person now it's not possible to put them in commercial facilities
sm is buying followers and likes due to the impact of the boycott
ot6 are monitoring every movement and project in every language and reporting them. @/RIIZEUSACENTRE kofi was reported because of them while raising trucks money
seunghan's leaked photo with his girlfriend was leaked by hybe
riize is seven movement schedule. day 1 october 28th
mass review 1 star to all sm facilities on google maps (note: they’re deleting the bad reviews but we have to keep going)
hybes’s ceo lee jae sang issues apology letter for the ‘music industry report’ document (a sorry is not enough after destroying hsh life & career)
seunghan town will be removed due to ot6 reports and company that they reported the project, causing making hard getting the needed permits
pineapple manager passed in front of the protest today, he def saw the protest
manager passed in front of the protest again, they know what’s going on
manager passed in front of the protest for the third time, and tomorrow is the meeting
riize is seven movement schedule november 6th
there’s a very popular lawyer who has won a case against sm before that right now is representing fans
riize doesn't have any schedule, comeback or tour for the first quarter of 2025. the boycott is working, keep going!
riize lost 200k monthly listeners on spotify
clarifications on rumors regarding hsh. the thread linked below explains it really well, so please read carefully and repost it on X!
this is all the info i found and i wanted to spread it here too, so thanks and credits to all the ppl on twitter!! if i find more relevant info i’ll keep updating this post. please share it 🫶🏻 (note: english isn't my first language, sorry for any mistakes in my grammar)
little motivation and some twitter accounts that organize projects/give info below the cut! 🩷
— some good info twitter accs:
@/RIIZEUSACENTRE @/SEVENRIIZE @/RIIZE_EUROPE @/PROTECT_RIIZE @/Seunghan_USA
— little motivation:
kbriize are holding face to face protests and fanbases hired an attorney. boycott properly if you don't want all the effort to be wasted! remember, boycotting takes time
"The group nearly disbanded in September of 2001, after Park Joon-hyung was discovered to be in a relationship. Their management announced, without informing him or the members, that he was to leave the group and they'd continue as 4, but it was met with strong objection from fans, who repeatedly signed petitions and threatened to boycott concerts and the company. Danny, Kyesang, Hoyoung and Taewoo held their own press conference, without the knowledge of their management, to show their support for Joon. After two months of disagreements, their company eventually backed down and allowed Joon to be in the group." if joon returned to the group after two months of protests, complains and boycott, we can bring back seunghan!! the key is persistence. please don't give up and keep fighting for his rights and justice!!
#riize#riize is 7#riize is seven#rii7e#rii7e or none#seunghan#hong seunghan#riize seunghan#kpop#kpop bg#kpop multifandom#sm entertainment#kpop multistan#kpop music
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HD longer fics recs : 90k to 100k words
Here are a few recs for fics ranging between 90k and 100k words.
You can see my recs for fics that have more than 200k here, between 150k and 200k here, between 125k and 150k here and between 100k and 125k here.
Allegiance and Sedition by SilentAuror [98k]
The war is in its fifth year, and Harry finds himself caught up in the confusion of friend versus enemy, spy versus traitor.
At Your Service by @faith2wood [95k]
Hogwarts students are in danger; Harry is determined to save them all. There’s only one thing he knows for certain: Draco Malfoy is somehow involved.
Balance, Imperfect by @bixgirl1 [91k]
When Harry sustains an injury in the line of work, he no longer knows how to navigate the life he loved, and finds help and solace from the most unexpected source.
A Case of You by @epitomereally [97k]
Draco was doing just fine working as an Unspeakable in Paris, hanging out with his living and ghostly pals, inventing new spells, and definitely not thinking about Potter. Then, Lucius just had to break out of prison and turn his world upside down. Now, Draco has to return to England, where he is forced to confront how family ties bind us—and one infuriatingly fit Harry Potter.
Chasing Dragons by @the-sinking-ship [98k]
Draco can think of only one way to outclass his pleat-front-khaki-wearing politician ex, and that’s by making headlines with an obvious upgrade. And who better to upstage the cheating bastard than the Saviour of the World, Harry Potter himself? Sure, Potter is a little rough around the edges in ripped jeans, a rumpled tartan shirt, and a permanent scowl. Draco reckons a haircut and a shave wouldn’t hurt, either. But Potter is also in need of a Healer willing to keep his secrets, and Draco is just the man for the job. It’s a perfectly reasonable exchange. They need only attend a couple parties arm-in-arm, smile nicely for the paparazzi, and tolerate each other long enough to convince everyone they’re smitten. In return, Draco will keep Potter alive and in one piece. But it isn’t long before Draco realises he might be in over his head, because Potter is ten tonnes of trouble packed into a leather jacket, and seems keen on hurtling himself towards death on the back of a flying motorbike. And that says nothing of Potter’s penchant for fire-breathing beasts and things that bite. Ah well, at least they’ll have some fun while it lasts. After all, Draco always did like a bit of danger.
Firebond by Oakstone730 / @i-didnt-wanna-do-it [94k]
Draco is forced to tutor Harry in potions. A slight problem occurs.
Helix by Saras_Girl [92k]
Seven months after the end of the war, Harry is feeling lost. Fortunately, he is about to be offered an unexpected and sparkling chance to find himself again. [2014 advent fic]
Hermione Granger’s Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run by @waspabi [93k]
‘You’re a wizard, Harry’ is easier to hear from a half-giant when you’re eleven, rather than from some kids on a tube platform when you’re seventeen and late for work.
How I Met Your Father by @dracogotgame [95k]
Harry sits his kids down and tells them a story. A very long story.
How To Train Your Malfoy by @fencer-x [93k]
Good manners dictate that, when one’s best friend Apparates onto one’s doorstep holding the unconscious, haggard body of the schoolyard bully and begging for sanctuary, one ought to invite the two of them in for a cup of tea. Harry Potter sometimes wishes he weren’t so polite.
I Am Not Who I Became by mab_di [93k]
Draco left England after the trials and has travelled the world meeting wizards and Muggles from different cultures and with vastly different relationships to magic, each other, and the natural world. Now he’s a fisherman in Finland on commercial vessels. Harry has been struggling since the war and has become a recluse while trying to write his autobiography. An invitation to the Hogwarts class of 1998’s 15th reunion isn’t welcomed by either of them, but neither could predict how the night, and their reunion, will upend their lives.
Light up the Night by Saras_Girl [98k]
This year, despite his better judgement, Harry’s love life is going off with a bang. Advent fic 2019.
Season of the Spirit by Saras_Girl [95k]
It starts with a swan. What happens after that is a bit of a mystery. 2018 advent story.
The Silent World Within You by @femmequixotic and @noeeon [95k]
Harry only wanted Malfoy for one night, one birthday. It wasn’t meant to be anything more.
Tempus Fugit by Poison Pen [90k+]
A monumental cock-up in Potions means that Harry and Draco have more to contend with than mutual enmity. A journey of discovery, self-reflection and love.
Who we are in the shadows by @quicksilvermaid [99k]
What happens when you’re forced to become the very thing you despise? Ex-Auror Harry Potter, tossed out of the Ministry for something he had no control over, has been looking for a way back to his former life. When he comes across Draco Malfoy in the criminal underbelly of Wizarding London and in need of protection, Harry figures bringing him in to face the Ministry’s justice is his ticket back to everything he’s lost. But nothing is exactly as it seems. Not even Harry himself. And as he gets drawn further and further into Malfoy’s world of honour and deception he finds himself questioning everything he thought he knew—about his childhood nemesis, the Ministry job he misses so much, and most of all, about himself. What happens when you’re forced to see that you were wrong?
I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I did!
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as promised: jess' les amis fanfic rec list ✨
this is mainly e/r, a little bit of e/r/c and a few courferre
This is just the stuff that was in my bookmarks on ao3 when I started writing this post (months ago lol sorry it took so long). Going through I was shocked to see so many of my faves weren't actually bookmarked so I will for sure do a part two when I find them again, and have also added heaps of new fics to my bookmarks since then, but for now 25 fics is enough 😂
many of these will be rated E and will have sexual content, some are straight up pwp ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
ok first is my ultimate fave that isn't even on ao3 anymore, but thankfully is on the authors tumblr, and that's:
Gnomon by luchia
50-80k words (?) (bc it's not on ao3 i'm estimating)
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire
terrorist/assassin Enjolras my beloved ever. My fave are the "charming young man capable of being terrible" fics obviously. This one is my #1 e/r like in my head this is it's own canon. & this series has my fave e/r smut scenes ever. I still daydream about a Gnomon tv show...
- trigger warnings bc it's not on ao3 so doesn't have tags: murder, gun and knife violence, bombs, conversations about the deaths of children. this is not healthy relationship fluff but it makes for a 🥵 dynamic that's for damn sure.
also linking the rest of the series which is up on ao3 still, even though it is officially abandoned and unfinished - i am going to break my ultimate rule right off the bat and link an unfinished series bc I like it so much.
stupid terrorist boys by luchia
series, 5 works
200k words
rating: M and E
here we have gnomon's prequels, two sequels, and some one shots in between 🫶🏻
if you're here for kinky pwp Senselessly Happy and Unsuspecting could be good stand-alone (but it's better when reading in order). I would say read Gnomon first on tumblr then read the rest in order on ao3.
Silence Is the Speech of Love by lady_ragnell
50k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire, background Courfeyrac/Marius/Cosette
Enjolras is cursed for speaking out against the gods, Grantaire is there for him.
will I ever shut up about this fic? Never. fave fave fave. the world building, the mythological/religious system, the writing, the "I love you" "I don't think you do, actually" scene URGH!!!! I think of this fic every time i hear chopsticks. Everything happening with courf/marius/cosette, and the genius inclusion of social worker Fantine my beloved. This is one of those "could be it's own novel" fics.
and the sequel from Enjolras' pov 😭 - Left Unsaid
World Ain't Ready by idiopathicsmile
185k words
rating: T
Enjolras/Grantaire
yes it's the top fic yes everyone probably knows it but it's good for a reason. THE fake dating high school au fic that I broke all my rules for back in 2015. I refused to read unfinished fics, let alone T rated high school fics, yet I remember waiting for the updates for this one as it came out, messaging mutuals on the day the last chapter was released. and every time I reread I remember why. Brilliantly written, the pining, the angst, the miscommunications. All the Joly and Bossuet scenes.
honourable mention to the scene where Joly is so excited for the battle of the bands, then next scene starts with "I think it's more of a sitting night today" the realest simple yet most gut punching illustration of chronic pain that gets my ass every time.
Lovesickness by idiopathicsmile
11k words
rating: T
Enjolras/Grantaire, Joly/Bossuet/Musichetta
(we're gonna see a fair bit of idiopathicsmile on here)
this is one of my absolute favourites. not only bc I quote "hit by a truck full of shirts" all the time. a Joly pov fic!!!!!! my beloved!!!!! I'm a BIG JBM fan (they are essential to me when I'm writing grantaire) and love fics that stay true to his friendship with Joly and Bossuet. also I love when Enjolras is a giant dumbass who thinks his feelings for Grantaire is a mystery illness 😂
Still the Same by The Librarina (tears_of_nienna)
74k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire/Combeferre
ok ok ok. listen. Yes. in this fic, Enjolras IS an fbi agent... and u know i'm the first and last to scream acab always...
that being said this is fully still one of my fave e/r/c fics. Enjolras and Combeferre are married & Enjolras needs to work with art thief Grantaire (fave) on a case. also that one bit at the end when Grantaire *redacted* 👀🫣
cupbearer by illuminate*
*this one is locked, you need an account to view
series, 4 works
124k words total
ratings: T, M & E
Enjolras/Grantaire
this series!!!!!! VAMPIRE ENJOLRAS!!!! thrall Grantaire!!!! canon era AND modern au! REINCARNATION!!!! i'm eeeeaaaaattiiiing 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
More Than Just a Game by ecaitlin
36k words
rating: E
Courfeyrac/Combeferre
Fake dating courferre 😭 this one is so good for the desert scene alone 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 one of my fave courferre fics
Good Intentions by ecaitlin
95k words
rating: E
Courfeyrac/Combeferre, background Marius/Cosette, Joly/Bossuet, Bahorel/Feuilly, and Enjolras/Grantaire ofc
THE les amis hogwarts au. 95k of Courfeyrac pov is always a treat for the system. in their last year at hogwarts, Courfeyrac decides to play matchmaker for all his friends. shenanigans!!!! fuck jkr, but whenever I wanna reread harry potter again I read this fic 🫶🏻 fave courferre ever, and also fave background e/r
if you remembered me by nightswatch*
*this one is locked, you need an account to view
40k words
rating: M
Enjolras/Grantaire
one thing about me is I love an amnesia fic! Enjolras loses his memory and Grantaire helps him recover 👀 this one's for the hurt/comfort and miscommunication/not being upfront about shit fans. also there's some past Grantaire/Combeferre and i'm always a fan
Beautiful Music Together by lady_ragnell
31k words
rating: E
Courfeyrac/Marius/Cosette
a rare Courf/Marius/Cosette fic for your palette. established Marius/Cosette need a little help from their good friend Courf with their sex life 👀 while the three of them also work on a musical assignment together 😭 prequel to You Dance Dreams kinda 👀
You Dance Dreams by lady_ragnell
61k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire
(you can tell when i've found a writer who has a fair few fics and just gone nuts lol, lots of lady_ragnell too)
BALLET AU I LOVE YOU!!!!!! so set in the same universe as Beautiful Music Together, Combeferre ropes everyone into working on his opera, a Midsummer Night's Dream sequel. Grantaire dances as Puck alongside Enjolras singing as Oberon 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻
In Defiance of all Geometry by idopathicsmile
51k words
rating: T
Enjolras/Grantaire/Combeferre
this is a top fave E/R/C fic and a top fave les amis fic of all time! Them living in a co-op and all the little details of how they make it work is sooooo real and anyone who wants to see accurately written community organising in les amis fic it's here! now for the ✨romance✨ - Grantaire moves in to the amis co-op and starts crushing on both Enjolras and Combeferre, who have both been pining for each other for years.
Years Since It's Been Clear by lady_ragnell
10k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire
Enjolras offers his spare room to grantaire - or the one where enjolras chases the sun across the living room floor like a cat. That image has lived rent free in my head for and I am not exaggerating here, 10 years.
Gonna need (a spark to ignite) by FinditAgain*
*this one is locked, you need an account to view
47k words
rating: M
Enjolras/Grantaire/Combeferre
soulmate au! soulmate au with E/R/C!!!!!!! enjolras and combeferre are soulmates who lost their bond as children. when combeferre and enjolras find each other as adults, enjolras is already in an established relationship with grantaire 👀👀👀
secret agent man by goshemily
30k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire
yes another cop one haha 😭 bc if ur not able to contradict urself with the media u like are u even a person? but also I wouldn't recommend if it wasn't a good read for the stairs scene alone 😅 Enjolras and Grantaire need to go undercover as a married couple in a small town.
Leaves in the Void by myrmidryad
16k words
rating: M
Enjolras/Grantaire
this is one i've found since rejoining tumblr late last year that 😭 fully broke my heart bro 😭 space au, enjolras writes letters to everyone when he's accidentally isolated on a ship for what to him was eight and half months but was two hours for everyone else.
Blame Delicate Artemis by hyenateeth
22k words
rating: E
femslash Enjolras/Grantaire
posting omegaverse on main? more likely than you think!
this is porn with a tiny bit of plot, but also one of my fave for femslash e/r and also..... girl dick. that's all.
omega enjolras alpha grantaire canon era lesbians.
that's enough description to find its right audience I feel
Eyes to Serve, Hands to Learn by myrmidryad
94k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire
Grantaire runs into Enjolras at a kink club. enter 94,000 words of bdsm porn and pining. mostly dom Enjolras and submissive Grantaire, mostly.
Never Be Satisfied by torakowalski
15k words
rating: E
femslash Enjolras/Grantaire
dental dam mention! win!
Grantaire gives Enjolras some advice, lends some toys, and then offers some hands on help when she learns Enjolras has never come before 😏
potentially lovely, perpetually human by myrmidryad
20k words
not rated, does contain smut
Enjolras/Grantaire
lots of myrmidryad here too lol
two of my favourite tropes here. 1: supernatural Enjolras who's in control of his abilities except when it comes to Grantaire (see cupbearer series) and 2: nonbinary Grantaire my beloved!!! Enjolras has psychic empathy triggered by physical touch, so he refuses to touch anyone: until his touch starved ass accidentally touches Grantaire and feels what they're feeling 🥹
Witchboy by tothewillofthepeople
series, 8 works
84k words
rating: T, M
Enjolras/Grantaire
this one is a more recent recommendation that I loved, the world building and magic is so good, there's some great background eposette and patron minette which I'm always a fan of.
i'm not the moon (i'm not even a star) by serinesaccade
40k words
rating: M
Enjolras/Grantaire
amnesia fic and fake dating 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 this time we've got Grantaire losing his memories and waking up in a world where he has a really hot boyfriend, but apparently his 1.5 year relationship with Enjolras isn't what it seems 👀
and let's round this out with a classic
Thirty-Two Times by Ark
7k words
rating: E
Enjolras/Grantaire
the bottom R canon era bible 🙏🏻
i'm sorry i feel like my emoji use is very millennial. jsyk 👌🏻 is me clicking with my nails ok bye 😘
if you want more i'm whorejolras on ao3 go nuts 🙌🏻
#mine#omg me actually doing something i said i'd do only like four months later look at that#adhd one hell of a drug yall#fic recs#fanfic#les mis fanfic#les amis fanfic#e/r#les mis#grantaire#enjolras#les amis#e/r/c#courferre#jbm#les miserables#why is my capitalisation all over the place?? uhh look over there 👈🏃♂️💨#sorry not tagging ppl on tumble even though i know the authors are bc adding the links was hassle enough and also i don't wanna bother any1
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I’M SO GLAD THAT I’VE FOUND SOMEONE THAT ENJOYS CREPIC. THEREFORE YOU ARE GETTING A HC.
I’ve recently seen a trope somewhere that if partner A has noticeable scars, partner B will kiss them as a small romantic or comforting gesture. Ever since I’ve seen this trope I have not stopped thinking about crepic. IT FITS SO WELL???
Like, obviously Epic has the scar on his eye. His magic eye has caused him years of suffering and awful nightmares. It’s been nothing more to him than a burden. And the scar is just another reminder that he can never let go of everything that’s been done to him. But whatever, he’s gotten over it. But imagine Epic going over to Cross’ house for a sleepover, and late at night the two are just lying in Cross’ bed talking about something stupid, when their conversation suddenly turns more personal. This slowly leads to Epic opening up about how much of a struggle it is to live with his eye. Of course, he doesn’t go too much into detail, since he was never really one to speak about his personal life.
And Cross can’t help but feel so guilty for his poor best friend after listening to him talk about how much pain he had to endure for so long. Epic keeps insisting that he’s fine and that it’s not a big deal, but Cross wants to give the person he cares about so much the desperate comfort he needs. One way leads to another and Cross ends up leaning over and kissing the scar on Epic’s eye while gently cupping his face or something. (bonus points if Cross also kisses the scars on Epic’s hands). AND EPIC WOULD PROB BE HOLDING BACK TEARS THE ENITRE TIME BUT WOUDL EVENTUALLY CRAKC CUZ SOMEONE ACTUALLY FINDS BEAUTY IN HIS INSECURITIES AND UHHUHGH.
I’m so ashamed that this became a huge rant when it didn’t need to be 🙏🙏 (But seriously I’m so starved of crepic that it’s becoming torturous. I need to be fed more fanfics bc there’s only 30 on ao3. Nsfw or not I need to be fed.)
WEEPING CRYING YES!!!!!!!!!! epic is so ignored in crepic fics mostly because people don’t bother to read his au’s comic (it’s… a long one… so i get it lmfao), and i might be one of those people though not because a lack of adoration for his canon but because cross is my favorite idiot and epic is hard to write. BUT!!!!!! I LIKE THIS A LOT.
scar kissing can go one of two ways, very very good, or very very bad. personally if anyone tried to kiss my scars they’d get clocked, but it depends for the character (and person). some people think it’s cringe worthy, other people think it’s sweet. EYE SCARS HOWEVER? OH HO HO. THOSE NEED TO BE KISSED RIGJT FUCKIJG NOW… ABSOLUTELY YES. epic’s whole eye ordeal like ruined his life and made him damn near suicidal. i haven’t read the side comics in a little while for epic but iirc when he’s killed he thinks something along the lines of ‘isnt this what ive been waiting for?’ or something? could be wrong idk i haven’t read it in a few months. but either way that eye, and that scar as a reminder, really fucked him up. and epic’s the kind of guy to gloss over that entirely. but cross is an overthinker at his core so when he catches wind of this it’s going to be on his mind forever probably.
i love. i love the idea that cross just holds epic’s face and kisses his scars. holy shit i love that so much. dear god. he absolutely should get to do that. cross cares sososo much about epic but epic never tells him anything!!! so when cross gets a whiff of his internal turmoil he is gonna DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!! and epic is gonna FEEL EMOTIONS!!!!!!
I LOVE characters cupping someone’s face while kissing them while paying mind to their traumas and letting them know that you treasure them and and and combusts into a superbillion molecules
goddd this idea. /pos. AND YOURE SO REAL ABOUT THE FIC THING THEY SHOULD HAVE MORE FICS LIKE??? WHAT???!!!!! there’s barely any fics out there for them compared to so many other ships. every night i pray that i wake up and someone dropped a 200k+ word slow burn crepic ‘forbidden’ (because cross’ job and epic’s residence) romance best friends to lovers au fic. but those prayers always go unanswered. ive scoured the entire site for them, ive started going to WATTPAD, DAMNIT!!!!!!!!! bleh. i don’t even care about ratings or tags anymore as long as it’s consensual and legal im fine please give me more content with them 🙏
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Please help/Life update
So we have had one extremely lucky thing happen and it's that my uncle gave us his old 01 Nissan Pathfinder. It's got well over 200k miles and it needs the whole brake system replaced. We're looking at around $200 for brakes and we are hoping that the calipers haven't been damaged cause those are around $70 each. After all of that we also still have to get the funds together to get insurance and switch the title and such. Then hopefully we'll have a car that would open us up to be able to get better jobs and more easily provide and care for our family and get to drs appointmens.
On top of dealing with all of that though, my man recently found out that he was never informed of nor prescribed the two new medications and new extremely restrictive diet that he apparently has supposed to have been on since his surgery a couple months ago.
Now he has the medication and after him taking the first dose we are now aware he is very allergic to that medication and we are still left screwed and desperately trying to find some way to keep him from dying.
With how bad his health had been declining, we are still having to miss work here and there due to him having episodes of getting violently sick and dizzy taking him out for at least a whole day at a time.
Please, if you can, we desperately need any and all help you can send us. We need both help with money for the parts and our bills and we also desperately need help finding foods that he can now eat with his diet that restricts most everything like grease, dairy, citric acid, salt, capsaicin, and more.
P*ypal: crackerjaxx7@gmail
V*nmo: jayep7
C*$happ: jayep7
Please help if you can or at least reblog this so hopefully someone who can help sees this.
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𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝𝐬 𝐀𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 - 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟔 (𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫)
▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏 ▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐 ▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑
▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒 ▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟓 ▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟔
▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟕 ▹ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟖 ▹ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟗
▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟎 ▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟏 ▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟐
▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟑 ▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟒 ▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟓
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 | Eddie Munson x female reader
𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | THEN. You’re the only survivor among the Mind Flayer’s victims, thanks to your friends - but after the Battle of Starcourt, you find yourself adrift in a sea of nightmares. Until an encounter in the woods with Eddie The Freak Munson offers an unexpected life line and turns your world upside down. NOW. Four months have passed since the winter night you walked out of Eddie’s trailer and his life for good. But when the mysterious headaches and nightmares return full-force and something wicked stirs in sleepy Hawkins, starting a witch hunt against Eddie, you realize that there are two things in this world that might be more persistent than you’d thought: Evil…and love. The story is told in two timelines: the past (after the Battle of Starcourt) and the present (during the events of season 4).
𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭 | angst with a happy ending (I PROMISE!!!), fluff, smut, it turned into a fix it fic for ST4
𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | SMUT (you need to be 18+ to read this story!), angst with a happy ending, attempted assault, bullying, canon-typical violence
𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 | ~ 1 hour
𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | spiders, canon-typical gore & violence, blood, mention of a syringe (brief), SMUT (oral, m!receiving; p in v; unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it and stay safe in real life!)
𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐄𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭.
𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 & 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝, 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 ♡
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 | The day I started writing this story was May 27th - the day I fell in love with Eddie Munson, like so many others did as well. By the end of the first episode, I knew I loved this sweet, tender-hearted, sometimes-brash-and-loud-but-always-genuinely-kind dork with all my heart, and by the time the credits of the second episode were rolling I knew Eddie was my One In A Million, my forever-character. Nothing I’ve ever felt for a fictional character comes close to the love I feel for Eddie Munson, and I know it’ll forever stay that way. I remember how I paused Netflix during the intro to season three, opened a blank word document, and started writing. It was the first chapter of Worlds Apart. Back then, I prayed with all my heart it wouldn’t turn out a fix-it fic - but it did. I promised I’d fix it, and I did, though I’m convinced Eddie will be back and we’ll see him again, alive and happy. Until then, this story will give him - and all of us - the happy ending Edward Munson deserved. This story crossed the 200k-words-mark somewhere in the middle of Chapter 15, and while I have so many more ideas for series and oneshots for Eddie, for so many more 200k-word-marks to cross, Worlds Apart will always hold a special place in my heart. And I can’t thank you all enough for sticking with me, for waiting patiently for the next chapter and laughing and crying alongside Eddie, Monster Slayer and me, and I hope that this story was able to bring you the same amount of joy as it did for me, that every single one of you might have been able to find a piece of themselves in monster slayer. Thank you for all the support on this story, the comments and reblogs and keysmashes and tags and fanart and asks. I don’t know whether I could have done this without you. This isn’t goodbye, I promise - just the final chapter before a new story starts because I’m planning to give Eddie Munson the million happy endings he deserves. So...Eddie, this is for you. I will always, always love you, Eddie Munson.
▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏 ▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐 ▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑
▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒 ▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟓 ▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟔
▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟕 ▹ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟖 ▹ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟗
▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟎 ▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟏 ▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟐
▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟑 ▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟒 ▹𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟓
[Friday, September 12th, 1986.
Six months later.]
The water was warm as it swirled around your feet with a happy little gurgling sound nearly drowned out by the sound of the waves.
The breeze carried the scent of salt.
The scent of the ocean.
It smelled exactly like you’d always imagined it would.
Dawn was still a while away, the first gentle blush creeping over the clear skies arching above to make the stars slowly fade away and herald the first rays of the morning sun, the promise of another beautiful hot day.
The moon overhead was a full moon, hanging in the sky like a silver dollar coin.
Like the display of a clock.
You quickly averted your gaze.
The shades of the early morning sky, the foam dancing on the crests of the rolling waves…it all blurred like watercolors on a canvas beneath the first of your tears falling down your cheeks in hot rivulets as you sank to your knees, into the warm water of the Pacific Ocean, letting it engulf you as the tears fell harder, drip-dropping into the waves lapping at you as you tugged your legs against your chest, hugging your knees.
Salt to salt.
You couldn’t keep the emotions bottled up any longer.
A frail, suppressed sob spilling from your lips, too quiet to be heard over the melody of the waves, your hand found its way to your chest, to the guitar pick resting against your skin right below your collarbone.
The smooth plastic was warm with your body heat as your fingers wrapped around it, thumb flicking over its surface the way Eddie had brushed the pad of his thumb over your wrist, over your pulse point, back when you’d patched him up at Skull Rock.
Right before he’d kissed you.
Months ago.
A lifetime ago.
Your fingers clutching the guitar pick, holding on to the little thing like a lifeline, you let your forehead sink against your knees.
And with the waves and the breeze for company, you wept.
[Thursday, March 28th, 1986.
FIVE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT.]
“I don’t have a heart, little songbird.”
Henry Creel’s voice was a low croon, a threat laced within.
And his remaining forget-me-not-blue eye watched as the creeping vines pinned Eddie to the pillar.
Tightening their relentless, freezing grip around Eddie’s wrists, his throat.
“People believe that once you’re dead, there will be no more pain. No more misery. Only…peace,” Henry crooned, slowly raising his hand, his spidery, disfigured fingers reaching towards Eddie’s face. “They are wrong. Souls can break, did you know that? Just like bones. Over…and over again.”
***
You barely heard the death cries of the bats, falling from the skies all around you, flames eating at the skin on their convulsing bodies, wings and tails trailing behind them as they rained onto the blood-soaked grass like a shower of meteors.
Shooting stars straight out of a nightmare, less and less of them left in the skies.
You leaned down to place the softest of kisses on Eddie’s forehead, the curls poking out from underneath his bandana tickling your lips.
“Good-bye,” you whispered against his skin, which still held the residual warmth of life like a distant memory. “I will always, always love you, Eddie Munson.”
Your eyes fluttered close.
When you reached out, the darkness wrapped around your mind, ready to heed your command one final time.
Burn it down, you commanded. Burn this place to the ground until there are only cinders left.
***
There was pain. So, so much pain, worse even than the agony inflicted by the bats.
Back then, it had been Eddie’s body which had been ripped apart.
Now, it would be his soul.
Would the pain stop, Eddie wondered, when Vecna was done with him, when he was nothing but another broken soul with shattered limbs standing out like branches of trees in a winter wood, and two empty holes where his eyes should have been, dislodged jaw frozen in a muted scream until the end of time? Maybe.
And yet, amidst all the agony, the knowledge that he’d failed was what destroyed him.
He hadn’t been able to save you.
He could only hope Eleven had managed to get Max out of here, back to you and the rest of her friends.
I’m sorry I couldn’t keep you safe, monster slayer. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.
I’m so, so sorry.
***
The flames looked like blossoms, at first.
Petals unfurling all over the black creeping vines covering the dead grass, growing as they shed their golden glow into the night, brighter and brighter.
The vines hissed, the noise mingling with the death cries of the bats still hailing down all around you, wings and fluttering tails ablaze as the heat of the flames chased away the coldness of the air.
You barely felt it on your skin.
Eddie’s lifeless body in your arms, his head resting on your lap, one of your hands wrapped around the green silk ribbon on his wrist, the other clamped tightly around the guitar pick dangling from Eddie’s necklace around your neck, you watched as the fire spread.
Along the vines, like sparks on a fuse, travelling across the ground as it left only ashes in its wake.
Up the walls of the Munson trailer, the Mayfield trailer across the lawn.
Through the Forest Hills trailer park and into the woods as the darkness did your bidding and the Upside Down was swallowed by an inferno of your own making.
It almost looked beautiful. Like a meadow of glowing flowers in shades of gold and red.
Or like stars.
As if all the stars which were missing in the void of the eternal night sky above had fallen to the ground to shed their golden light and chase away the darkness, send their warmth into the air to melt away the cold.
And at the other side of the bond…you could feel Vecna scream in agony.
***
Just as Eddie though he couldn’t take it anymore, the strain on his bones – no, his fucking soul – right before its breaking point…it stopped.
And Vecna…Vecna started to scream.
***
It was good, so good, to feel Vecna’s agony, feel the echo of his tormented wails reverberate through every fiber of your being, connected through that bond he’d forced on you.
Hands trembling as you knelt on the dead grass, you could feel the strength draining from you, pooling with Eddie’s blood that had started to cool soaking through the fabric of your combat pants.
You knew enough about powers that they came at a price. Had seen it with El enough times, after all, that at some point, you’d need to stop if you wanted to live.
It wasn’t that you didn’t want to live.
It was just that you didn’t care anymore whether you lived, because Eddie was gone, had paid the price for what you’d stolen. Like Max, two innocent souls taken tonight. Two loved ones. Gone. Just like that.
By the time you’d burned down the entirety of this realm, you knew there wouldn’t be any strength left for your heart to keep beating.
So be it then.
If you went out, you’d take Vecna with you.
Even if you had to set the entire world on fire to do it.
***
With a blood-curdling wail of agony, Vecna’s hand fell away from Eddie’s face, and through the blur of his own tears, Eddie watched as the monster sank to the ground.
Pieces of shriveled, rotting skin were falling away from him like dust scattered in the wind.
And Eddie realized…they were cinders.
Vecna was burning alive, piece by tiny piece.
Only then did Eddie realize that the ringing in his ears, the high-pitched noise, wasn’t coming from within his head. It was coming from all around him.
The creepers slithering across the ground and snaking around the maze of pillars were shrieking and hissing and writhing in pain as they crumbled away inch by inch, dissolving into black particles scattered into the air as Vecna’s lair was falling apart as if it were devoured by…by invisible flames.
Monster slayer.
***
As you watched the flames of your mind’s making spread through the Upside Down, consuming the web of Vecna’s creepers like angry beasts feasting on their prey, the way the bats had torn through Eddie’s skin, the agonized wails and screeches of the vines and creatures in the distance piercing the eerie silence, you could feel Vecna growing weaker.
Weaker.
His own powers were draining away with every inch of his hive your flames devoured, taking away his strength –
Taking away.
Taking away.
Like you had taken some of his powers away.
Realization hit you like a speeding truck.
By luring you away from Eddie and the relative safety of the trailer to save your friends, knowing Eddie would follow suit to distract the bats for a second time as soon as he thought they’d followed you, Vecna had set an elaborate trap for Eddie, yes.
To punish you.
But the reason why the bats hadn’t attacked you had never solely been to lull you into a false sense of security.
No, they hadn’t touched you because…if you died, that fragment of Vecna’s powers you’d stolen and made your own would die with you.
And he couldn’t let that happen, because by taking it away, you’d weakened him.
He needed it back.
That had been what he’d wanted all along.
To punish you, take Eddie away and destroy you, break you, before he’d take back his powers from you.
But he couldn’t do that anymore, because he’d underestimated the amount of power you’d stolen from him.
He was dying.
Vecna was dying.
Right now, alongside his realm of monsters and darkness, devoured by your flames.
Like the spark of a bonfire drifting into the air…an idea took shape at the back of your mind.
It might be impossible.
A shot in the dark.
But you’d be damned if you didn’t shoot it.
Eyes squeezed shut, your voice drowned out by the tormented shrieks and screeches of the vines as your fire spread, reaching the outskirts of Upside Down Hawkins, spreading through the body of Vecna’s realm like the black veins of his control had once spread through your blood right beneath your skin, you whispered, “You thought you were a God. That you were invincible. But you’re not.” You swallowed. “I want to make a deal.”
***
Eddie could hear it, feel it echoing through Vecna’s lair and every fiber of his own being.
He’d been so certain he’d never hear that sound again – but there it was, real and as clear as day.
Your beautiful, beautiful voice, filled with this burning, fierce determination Eddie had always admired so much.
Fresh tears ran down Eddie’s cheeks in hot rivulets.
Of love and loss, the need to run to you and wrap his arms around you, feel your breath against his skin as you buried your face in the crook of his neck, feel your heartbeat and hear your laughter, chase away all the agony and terror you’d gone through and keep you safe and sound in his arms forever, right next to his heartbeat where you belonged.
“You thought you were a God. That you were invincible. But you’re not. I want to make a deal.”
***
You could feel his presence even before your eyes flew open.
Like a dark shadow cast on a sunny day, erasing the light; the chill of a pair of malevolent eyes watching you like a vengeful spirit in a haunted house.
“Little thief.”
When you opened your eyes, the world around you was gone. Replaced by the place which had etched itself forever in your memories to haunt you in your darkest nightmares.
Vecna’s lair, his collection of horrors. The broken souls pinned to their pillars like beautiful dead butterflies displayed behind glass, trapped forever.
Broken limbs like twigs.
Empty eye sockets, jaws dislodged and frozen in eternal muted screams.
And right in front of you, the monster of this dungeon.
The god of this realm of terrors.
It took a single glance to see he was injured, gravely so.
His pallid grey skin, festering with rot, was falling away to cinders like firewood turning to ash as it was eaten by your inferno.
And one of his eyes was missing, an empty socket matching those of his victims while the other stared back at you, the freezing abyss encased by the eerie blue of blooming forget-me-nots burning with raw hatred.
Hatred was good.
Hatred meant you had a chance to win.
“Henry.”
Your voice was as frozen as the time in the Upside Down.
His rotting lips twisting into a sneer which reminded you oddly of Jason, Vecna stepped aside.
Clearing your line of sight so you could see what lay behind him.
A pillar.
And pinned to that pillar, pale cheeks streaked with tears of blood…
“Eddie.”
Your voice was barely a whisper, a susurration stirring the air, but at its sound, Eddie’s eyes, those beautiful umber eyes, found yours.
Your feet were carrying you towards him on their own accord, your body’s reflex to be close to him kicking in split seconds before your mind could catch up, and a choked sob ripped from you, right from the place at the center of your chest where the abyss of numbing darkness had opened up with Eddie’s final heartbeat, a desperate flutter of stirring within you.
“Monster slayer,” Eddie whispered as your hands came up to cradle his cheeks, the blood of his tears cold beneath your fingertips. Cold as death.
Neither of you could grasp for another word beneath all the heartbreak and grief, the hope and love and bittersweet joy of being reunited for those precious, ephemeral seconds. And neither of you needed to put all of these things into words – you read them in Eddie’s umber eyes, and he read them in your own, quietly understanding each other as deeply as you always had, right from the start.
But there was no time to linger in the moment.
Every passing second was precious time running through your fingers like water.
You whirled back around to face the monster who’d positioned himself right behind you, his one remaining eye an abyss of evil.
“I want to make a deal.”
“I don’t make deals.”
Vecna’s voice was as distorted as the chimes of his clock, floating in the crimson skies above your heads.
“Yes,” you replied calmly, positioning yourself between Eddie’s slumped form and Vecna, “You do. Else, you wouldn’t have let me in here.”
“I let you in,” Vecna droned, “So you could watch how I break his soul like I broke his body.”
“Smoke and mirrors,” you hissed. “You’re dying.”
“So are you, little thief. Do you want to join your songbird? Reunited in death? It will not be a peaceful ever after. Look at you, monster slayer.” His voice was dripping with disdain. “Weakened. The life draining out of you with every second you keep your inferno alive.”
“Yes.” He was right. You could feel it, how the life was fading away from you, like the sun setting and taking its light with it. “And if I die,” you said, “So will you. We both know it. So cut the mind games.”
Straightening your spine, you hissed, “You’re injured. My friends have injured you, and now you’re burning alive as we speak because that’s what I will keep doing until my own dying breath. If I go down, I will take you with me. You’re growing weaker with each second my fire keeps devouring your hive. Your creations. And you can’t stop me. Because if you could, you would’ve already done it.”
“Clever little thief,” Vecna drawled darkly.
You swallowed.
You didn’t know if your friends would ever be able to forgive what you were about to do. If Eddie could.
But if there was a way to bring Eddie back, to rewrite his stars after all…you needed to seize the chance.
No matter the cost.
“I offer you a way out.” Your voice didn’t waver with hesitation. Because there was no hesitation. Not one second. “I offer you a deal. I’ll give you back what I’ve stolen from you…and you’ll return what you took from me.”
There was a beat of silence.
“How are you so sure I cannot simply take my powers back?”, Vecna crooned.
“If you could, you would have done so by now. But you can’t, do you? Because it’s not yours anymore. It’s mine. It belongs to me, and it won’t serve another.”
“What makes you think I can bring him back?”
I know he can, the dark sliver within your mind whispered. You knew it because when the fire had burned all around you, you’d felt it, a shiver running through the hive, the Upside Down, because Max…Max had returned. It was a feeling, a knowledge inherent – and if El had defeated death and brough back Max, however she’d done it from so far away…so could Vecna. They were the same, in a way.
“Can you?”
“Bring him back?” Vecna sneered. “I do. And you…so in love with your songbird that you’re willing to risk the fate of your world, all else you hold dear, to strike a deal with the Devil? Betray everything you’ve fought for, risk the lives of so many for a single one?”
“Yes.” The words spilled from your lips without reluctance. The truth was always quicker than a lie.
There was a dark smile twisting Vecna’s rotting lips as he stepped closer, one of his legs dragging behind. An elongated index finger stroked your cheek. It felt like a spider scuttling across your skin.
But you stood your ground, refusing to take even a single step out of his way, his path to Eddie still blocked by your own body.
“Hmm,” Vecna hummed, “We are alike, after all.”
We are not, you wanted to tell him. What I’m doing, I’m doing for love.
But Vecna wouldn’t understand, because he’d never known love.
Love, just like time, was a concept foreign to him, a thorn in his flesh.
“What makes you so sure I will keep my word?”
You swallowed. “Because you’ll bring him back first.”
A dark chuckle rumbled through his chest, more and more of his shriveled grey skin crumbling away, cinders in a nonexistent breeze as your inferno kept wreaking havoc.
“I need this power you stole to bring him back. I am weakened.”
Lie, the darkness in your mind whispered. Lie, lie, lie. Trick, trick, trick.
“No, you don’t.”
Vecna tilted his head, and you breathed, “It’s a simple trick. I just don’t know how to do it, because I wasn’t born with these powers.”
“How will I know you won’t betray me?”, Vecna crooned.
A grim smile tucked at your lips. “It’s either trusting me…or death for both of us. I guess you’ll have to pick your chance and trust me.”
“What makes you so sure I won’t kill both of you as soon as I brought your lovebird back?”
“You can’t,” you hissed. “Your bats are cinders, and so is the rest of your monsters. You will make it out with your life, and nothing else. Just like we will.”
There was silence, the seconds ticking by too loudly on the clock suspended in the skies.
Every tick a droplet of Eddie’s life seeping away.
“Will you do it?”, you breathed. Your voice cracked like an egg beneath the words, your despair spilling out.
Vecna’s remaining forget-me-not-blue eye locked on yours. “I will. But –“ his index finger locked underneath your jaw, “Under one condition.”
Everything.
“I’ll make his heart start beating again, and I’ll release his soul to find its way back into his body. But his wounds will remain. Until you gave me back what you stole.” His rotting lips twisted into a devious sneer. “And if you don’t give it back…his wounds will stay. He will succumb to those wounds for a second time in a matter of minutes.”
“Deal,” you breathed.
With a blink, you snapped back out of the trance he’d put you in, Vecna’s lair dissolving around you as you resurfaced with a sharp intake of breath – just in time to hear it, a choked gasp for air on the ground beside you.
“EDDIE!”
You scrambled across the dead grass, your hands grasping his shoulder as his eyes, filled with life, locked on yours, wide and terrified and confused and flooded with pain, the agony of his mutilated body, every nerve on fire like the vines in the Upside Down as blood spilled from the bat bites just like it had only minutes ago.
Time was running out all over again.
Your eyes squeezing closed, you reached out towards the darkness, the enemy-turned-companion, for a final time.
You saved him, you told it. You need to leave so I can save him again. Go back to your master. Please.
The darkness writhed, a shadow curling against your mind for one last time, bidding you good-bye.
Who would have thought that this thing you’d been fearing for so long would be the one to save your love, in the end?
The darkness heeded your plea.
You hadn’t been prepared for the pain.
All-consuming pain, just like it had felt when the Mind Flayer, Vecna, had forced the darkness past your lips, into your mind and soul, all those months ago.
You could feel it, tendrils of shadow untangling from the strings of your soul like fabric unraveling into its threads. One by one.
When it left you, dark shadows spilling from your lips and into the skies, back to its source, your scream carried through the frozen air.
And then it was over.
Tremors racking your body and blood spilling from your nose in rivers of crimson, you scrambled closer to Eddie.
His breaths were ragged, sharp and shallow as he rang for air.
There was no time for your tears of relief and happiness, to pull Eddie into your arms and feel the beautiful flutter of his heartbeat against your palm.
Because Eddie’s wounds were still there, his blood still pooling onto the dead grass, running warm through your fingers.
And his eyes were filled with agony.
Raw, unfiltered agony.
“Eddie,” you sobbed, hands cradling his head, making sure he could see you. “It’s okay. It’ll be okay.”
You waited.
For Vecna to make true of the final part of the deal and heal Eddie’s wounds.
One second, two.
Three.
Come on, you fucking bastard. Keep your word, you wanted to scream into the air.
But you knew, deep down, that he wouldn’t.
That he would leave you here, your final bargaining chip gone and back in his own hands, Eddie bleeding out in your arms for a second time as you were forced to watch, helpless and alone.
No.
You wouldn’t let that happen.
Not again.
Your shifted, your hands finding their way to Eddie’s chest to press over the spots where the bats’ fangs and talons had ripped through fabric and skin and tissue, and Eddie’s agonized wail pierced the air and shattered your heart, but you needed to staunch the bleeding, stop it so he would’d bleed out all over again and the light would fade from his eyes for a second time, a final time.
“I know,” you sobbed, “I know, it hurts. But I need to stop the bleeding, okay? You’re – you’re gonna be okay, Eddie. I got you. This time it’s gonna be okay –“
Your voice was strangled with the force of the tears you kept fighting back, swallowed by his own choked sob, tormented and frail.
Eddie’s eyes were on yours, panic and agony swirling together as tears streamed down his face to mingle with the drying blood coating his lips, his cheeks. You could see that he wanted to reply, but his strangled, shallow breaths, the all-consuming pain in his body, muted the words.
You needed to get him out of this place.
Into warmth, somewhere where you could actually start patching him up, the wounds too many, too deep to even think about covering them with a makeshift-bandage, but you were alone, and you were too weak to get Eddie out of here on your own –
“HELP!”, you screamed into the darkness of the Upside Down, cinders and spores floating around you like the glittering flakes inside a snow globe.
The eerie silence had returned.
Cradling Eddie in your arms, your hands pressing over his torn chest in a failing attempt to staunch the bleeding, you felt like you were adrift on a freezing dark ocean, stretching into every direction with no shore in sight, no lighthouse to guide your way.
Alone and so horribly, utterly helpless.
“HELP ME! PLEASE! SOMEBODY!” The next sob shattered your voice into a whisper. “Anyone. Please –“
It took a heartbeat for you to register the sound piercing the cold air.
Your name.
Somewhere in the distance, someone called your name.
Your heart did a little somersault of hope in your chest.
“NANCY!”, you cried out, your voice breaking, “STEVE! ROBIN! HELP! HELP ME!”
And then they were there, breaking out of the woods and racing towards you.
Your friends. Uninjured. Alive. Like the mirage of water in the scorching desert sun – only that they were real. So beautifully real.
“What happened?!”, Robin cried out, her eyes wide with terror as they found Eddie, slumped and bleeding, fading in and out of consciousness with weak cries of agony, his blood spilling all over your hands.
“We need to get him out of here,” you sobbed, your own gaze finding Steve’s, who gave you a curt nod before bending down, arms locking underneath Eddie’s to pull him across the yard, towards the spot where the ground had ripped open, a glaring abyss shedding pulsing crimson light into the darkness of the Upside Down, the gate no longer only a doorway because the walls had been torn down altogether.
Max was alive, alive alive alive and so was Eddie – but it hadn’t reversed the consequences.
Vecna had taken his fourth and final victim.
He’d torn down the walls between worlds.
But you couldn’t focus on that right now.
Because as long as Eddie was alive, as long as you could still save him…everything could be okay again.
As long as Eddie was still here…you could face every other thing thrown your way.
You couldn’t remember how Steve had managed to drag Eddie through the rip in the ground. Couldn’t hear the voices of your friends, Robin’s shaken, panicked rambling dulled and blurry as if you were under water; couldn’t feel Nancy’s gentle hand resting on your shoulder as she shouted something at Steve.
The only thing you remembered was the night sky when you emerged from the Upside Down.
It was a clear spring night, almost warm, a myriad of stars winking down at you as you raced towards the Munson trailer alongside Steve who was half-dragging, half-carrying Eddie across the grass of the lawn.
The black mist inside your mind was gone, the connection to Vecna and the Upside Down severed. No, not severed – erased. Gone for good.
The Forest Hills trailer park had descended into pandemonium.
It felt like a lifetime ago, since the ground had ripped open.
In reality, it had been mere minutes.
Screams and shouts and cries echoed through the darkness immersing the trailer park as people left their homes to assess the rip in the ground, like an angry gash bleeding crimson light into the once peaceful spring night, running through the entirety of the park and vanishing beyond the tree line of the woods, in the direction of the Hawkins town center.
If anyone noticed the four of you dragging Eddie across the grass, they didn’t care.
Somewhere on the other side of the woods, the kids were all alone in the attic of that horrible, decaying house which had never been a home but a graveyard of nightmares.
The first wails of sirens rang out in the distance, but they blurred.
Everything blurred, drowned out by the pounding of your racing heartbeat in your ears, the roaring blood, the world turning into the static of a walkie without a signal as all your senses zoned in on Eddie dangling limply in Steve’s grip, his eyes half-closed as the life was pooling out of him for a second time, and the muted cry on his lips, too weak to spill.
On the task of saving your songbird’s life.
The cresting flood wave of emotions was held back by a concrete wall of fierce determination locking around your heart as you reached the foot of the steps leading up to the trailer, the rip running straight through the Munsons’ living room – but there was no time to look for an alternate shelter. It would have to make do.
You raced past Steve, holding Eddie’s lifeless form, with Nancy at your heels as you burst through the trailer’s door, a wide-eyed Dustin greeting you inside.
“What the fuck happened?! Erica said Max died and came back and then Eddie cut the fucking rope and Max is alive again –“
“Mattress!”, you shouted, pushing the boy aside as you and Nancy gripped one half of Eddie’s mattress, sliced through clean by the rip running through the length of the Munson trailer, the edge still smoldering, but it was better than nothing.
“We gotta call an ambulance,” Steve began, dragging Eddie inside, but Nancy cut him off.
“They won’t be here in time. It’s chaos outside. We need to stop the bleeding now.”
“HERE!”, you commanded at Steve, before your gaze met Nancy’s, her blue eyes calm and collected, grounding you, before you announced, “Robin, get us all the clean towels you can find. Bathroom. In the drawer beneath the sink. Now!”
The vehemence in your voice seemed to work to tear Robin out of her shellshocked daze as her wide blue eyes left Eddie’s slumped form to lock on yours before she gave a dazed nod and vanished down the little hallway, careful not to fall through the freshly torn ground. The gate. Not a rip, but a massive gate not even El would be able to close again.
But that was a problem for another day.
Eddie’s choked cry of agony when Steve dragged him onto the mattress on the ground was tearing you apart as you fell to your knees beside him, your hand finding his, fingers intertwining.
Eddie’s skin was cold. So, so cold.
And his eyes were crazed with agony.
He wouldn’t make it through the torment of all those horrid wounds being patched up, you realized, if you didn’t find a way to sedate him.
“Towels!”, Robin shouted, her return only registering at the edge of your perception as your mind was racing, going a mile a minute – and then it clicked.
“Special K,” you breathed, head snapping up to meet Nancy’s gaze.
“Drugs?!” Robin blurted, dumping the stack of towels at the foot of the mattress, beside Eddie, “I don’t think that’s a good –“
“In one of his drawers,” you cut her off, eyes still on Nancy’s.
“What does it look like?”
“I – I don’t know,” you breathed. “Just…just look.”
Nancy raced away towards his room as you untangled your hand from Eddie’s.
“I’m going to undress you now, okay?”, you said softly, your hands clasping the hem of his Hellfire shirt, sodden with blood.
You couldn’t tell whether Eddie had even understood your words.
You clenched your jaw and ripped at the shirt, careful to keep the fabric away from Eddie’s wounds as best as you could as his weak cry filled the space, mingling with the sound of the material tearing beneath your grip, ripped open in the middle like the ground beneath Hawkins.
Nausea gripped your guts and fresh tears forced their way into your eyes as you took in the damage beneath.
“Holy fuck,” Steve’s queasy inhale filled the shellshocked silence.
Eddie’s chest was torn. His skin had been ripped off by dozens of needle-sharp teeth and talons.
And the blood…
You’d never seen so much blood in your life.
Eddie’s frail cries of agony had muted to shallow, ragged breaths.
It was not a good sign.
Panic clawing its way up your throat, your eyes fell on Dustin.
He was frozen in his place beside the front door, his blue eyes wide with shock, so uncharacteristically muted as he stared down at Eddie, at the torn skin and blood soaking the mattress around him.
“Steve,” you commanded, “Get Dustin out of here.”
Steve’s eyes were just as wide as the boy’s, frozen in his own shock and horror at the sight of Eddie’s wounds.
It dawned on you that in all the time fighting monsters alongside these people, this weird little found family…you’d never been much of a fighter.
Nancy and Steve, El and Max and Lucas…those were the fighters, the warriors.
But there couldn’t only be warriors. There had to be healers, too.
Those who mended the wounds from the battle field, who waited with open arms and calming words at the sidelines, who took charge to defend and mend.
Eddie was a healer.
And so were you, you realized, a strange sense of calmness freezing you over, a reflex you didn’t know you’d possessed locking up all the panic because with Eddie’s life in the balance, there was no time left to squander.
“No, no I want to stay –“
“STEVE! GET HIM OUT NOW!”
Your voice rattled Steve out of his own shock as he whirled around to grab Dustin’s arm –
As the front door of the trailer was slammed open.
You’d grabbed the shotgun from Nancy’s discarded backpack before any of the others could react, the sawed-off barrel aimed at the door before you’d even fully jumped back to your feet as your eyes met those of the intruders.
A woman and three men, all of them clad in dark suits, freezing in their spots at the sight of your weapon.
“Out,” you hissed. “Now.”
“We’re here for Eddie Munson,” the woman said. If she was scared, she covered it up like a true professional.
“Yeah, I know. You’re not getting him. He’s innocent.”
“We know that,” the woman replied calmly, unfazed by the blood coating your hands all the way up to your elbows, staining your clothes. “We’re here to help.”
“Yeah, sure.” The resounding click as you cocked the gun sounded too loud even in your own ears. “Go away.”
The woman slowly raised her hands in a gesture of surrender as her gaze flitted down to Eddie. “We’re here because Dr. Owens sent us to help.”
“Dr. – Dr. Owens?”, Dustin began.
“How does Dr. Owens –“
“Can you help him?”, you cut them all off, despair forging your words. “CAN YOU HELP HIM?!”
“We can,” the woman replied, “If you let us.”
There was no time to check whether these people were actually working for Owens, whether they were friends or enemies.
Eddie’s time was running out. And it was running out fast.
You opened your hands.
And the shotgun thudded to the carpet.
***
You stayed.
When Steve shepherded Dustin out of the destroyed Munson trailer and Nancy followed the woman, Dr. Owens’ agent, into Eddie’s room to tell her what had happened, the men in suits – doctors, it turned out – started staunching the flow of blood from Eddie’s wounds, you stayed.
They told you to leave, but you ignored them.
Attentive like a hawk, hackles raised and adrenaline sharpening every speck of light in your eyes, every whisper of sound in your ears as your heart raced, you stayed, Eddie’s head resting in your lap while you watched the doctors.
“What are you giving him?”, you breathed, eyes focused on the syringe one of them had pulled out of the bags they’d brought with them. Medical kits.
“A sedative.”
You couldn’t remember whether they had told you their names.
You didn’t care.
All you wanted was for them to save Eddie. Save the love of your life.
With the nod at the clear liquid inside the syringe, the needle glinting in the dim light – when had the lights went on again in the trailer? Had they ever been out in the first place, or had the darkness simply been the panic, the all-consuming despair in your chest? – you settled at the edge of the mattress, your gaze already on Eddie.
His eyes were open, tears catching in his lashes and running down the sides of his face and mingling with the blood still spilling from the bite wound in his cheek.
“I’m here,” you whispered. “I’m right here, okay? You’ll be okay again. I promise you’ll be fine.”
His lips parted – for another agonized cry or a reply, you couldn’t tell – but there was no sound.
“I know,” you said softly, biting back a sob of your own, “I know it hurts. But it’ll stop now, and when you wake up again, I’ll be right here.” Maybe your words would burrow their way through the daze of agony and reach him. You shuffled closer, your trembling hands gently lifting Eddie’s head to place him on your lap, your hands brushing a few blood-crusted curls away from his forehead.
“I promise I’ll be right here when you wake up, Eddie.”
And I promise that you’ll wake up again.
The liquid inside the syringe found its way into Eddie’s bloodstream.
Whatever it was, it was fast.
You could see it cloud Eddie’s eyes, the way he seemed to try and fight the leaden heaviness of his eyelids, the sudden darkness creeping in at the edge of his senses, and with a soft croon, you caressed his uninjured cheek. “It’s okay, Eddie. You’re safe. Sleep. I’ll keep you safe.”
A tiny spark amidst the glassy haze spreading in his gaze told you he’d understood your words.
Eddie’s eyes fluttered shut.
The doctors didn’t ask you to leave. It was evident that you wouldn’t.
With your fingers gently combing through his soft curls in the hopes that the tender touch would seep through the peaceful darkness of the sedative in Eddie’s bloodstream, hoping it would reach him and let him know he wasn’t alone, you stayed.
[Monday, March 31st, 1986. NOW.]
When Eddie had been a kid, he’d made a kite all by himself.
Not one of those boring diamond-shaped ones, but one that had looked like a dragon.
He’d painted the fabric of its wings himself, shimmering scales in all shades of green. It had taken him two weeks until the dragon had actually been ready to conquer the wind.
He felt a little like that kite now; ripped away by the storm, the only tether holding him from being carried away the soft tune of a voice.
Your voice.
It pierced the darkness shrouding him, capturing his senses, the words strangely familiar as they painted pictures of rolling green hills, of dragons and adventures into his mind like brushstrokes forming a colorful landscape on a canvas.
***
“’If preciouss asks, and it doesn’t answer, we eats it, my preciouss. If it asks us, and we doesn’t answer, then we does what it wants, eh? We shows it the way out, yes’”, you read aloud from the book in your hand as your other carded gently through Eddie’s dark curls fanned out around his head on the pillow, “’Alright’, said Bilbo, not daring to disagree, and nearly bursting his brain to think of riddles that could save him from being eaten. Thirty white horses on a red hill, first they champ, then they stamp, then they stand still. That was all he could think of to ask – the idea of eating was rather on his mind. It was rather an old one, too, and Gollum knew the answer as well as you do.”
You paused, eyes flitting away from the pages of the copy of The Hobbit Dustin had brought yesterday, to glance down at Eddie.
Three days had passed since that night. Eddie had yet to wake up from his sleep.
The doctors had assured you it was normal, that he’d wake up as soon as his body had regenerated enough.
Beneath the blanket you’d tucked up to his chin to keep him warm, you could see the steady rise and fall of Eddie’s chest, his breathing calm and even in his sleep.
In between visits from the rest of the party – Steve and Dustin, Nancy and Robin who’d been busy volunteering at the Hawkins High cafeteria which had been transformed into a temporary shelter for those who’d lost their homes to the four rips which had opened up in the ground, crossing right at the library at the heart of Hawkins, and the Byers and Hopper, miraculously alive, back from California – you hadn’t left Eddie’s side. You’d spent hours and hours those past three days just watching him breathe.
Scared that, should you tear your gaze away from him, he’d just…stop. Stop breathing, the tune of his heartbeat going silent again. Forever, this time.
It would stay this way, you figured, checking that he was still breathing, his heart still beating against your palm, making sure that Eddie was still here.
His pale features were calm, not a single flutter of his closed eyelids breaking the serenity, his lashes long and dark as they rested against his cheeks.
Whatever kind of sleep had been holding him ever since Owens’s people had brought him here, to El and Hopper’s cabin…it was a dreamless one, at least, void of nightmares.
It was better, you figured, if he slept through those first days of healing, anyways. They’d left painkillers behind, but you didn’t know whether there was any kind of painkiller strong enough to numb the pain of those wounds.
You’d washed the blood from Eddie’s skin as best as you could with a bowl of soapy water and a washcloth, and every morning and every night you cleaned his wounds and switched the bandages just like Dr. Owens’s doctors had shown you, with Joyce’s calm assistance.
Joyce Byers had taken one look at Eddie and shifted into protective-mom mode, and you loved her all the more for it.
While you watched Eddie now, you could hear them rummage beyond the closed door of El’s former bedroom as Hopper, El, Nancy and the Byers were busy repairing the cabin’s roof, the damage the Mind Flayer – Vecna – had done on the little home last summer.
Hopper. Max. Eddie.
Three people who’d conquered death and returned – two of them quite literally, even.
Maybe the odds were in your favor after all.
With your fingers still slowly carding through Eddie’s curls, you watched him a little longer.
The bruises Jason and his friends had given him at the boathouse only days ago had started to fade, replaced by those Jason had added to his face in the Upside Down, blooming underneath the pale skin of Eddie’s jaw like dark flowers.
His face was nearly as white as the gauze covering his left cheek, where the bats had torn open the skin, more bandages covering the side of his throat, his entire upper body beneath the faded blanket you’d spread over his naked body to shield him from the cold.
There would be scars. On his skin, and on his soul.
But you’d be there every step of the way, helping him heal, helping him let those scars fade over time just like he’d done with yours.
You gently brushed a few stray curls of his bangs away from his forehead. No matter how many hours you’d already spent trying to brush the dried blood out of his dark curls as best as you could, it clung to the strands, another horrid reminder of that night in the Upside Down.
Suppressing your fresh tears, you grabbed the book from where you’d placed it on the mattress beside you, your other hand still gently combing through Eddie’s curls.
There was the soft clatter of plates from the cabin’s tiny kitchen, the sounds of voices muffled through the closed door.
Swallowing against the lump in your throat, you resumed to reading to Eddie.
Maybe your words would find their way to him, through the unconsciousness holding him firmly in its grasp for now.
“Voiceless it cries, wingless flutters, toothless bites, mouthless mutters. ‘Half a moment!’, cried Bilbo, who was still thinking uncomfortably about eating. Fortunately, he had once heard something rather like this before, and getting his wits back he thought of the answer. ‘Wind. Wind, of course’, he said, and –“
A tiny movement in the periphery of your vision drew your gaze away from the page. To Eddie.
Just as his eyes fluttered open.
For a breathless moment as his umber gaze – filled with life, the spark back within – met yours, you were frozen in place.
Then, with a muted sob, the dam you’d built over those past three days broke to open the floodgates. The tide of terror and loss, of hope, love and relief broke over you as you squeezed your eyes shut, a deep, trembling inhale not enough to keep the tears from spilling any longer.
With a choked sob, the book falling from your hand and thudding to the wooden floorboards, you barely stopped yourself from falling into his arms and accidentally ripping open the wounds.
Instead, you gently inched closer, hand untangling from his curls and lacing with his on the blanket.
He blinked up at you, the sight of his beautiful umber eyes meeting yours making it hard for you not to break down sobbing with relief at the expression of love and devotion shining within them. The life.
“Monster slayer,” he whispered. His voice was raspy from staying unused for so many days. Or maybe from his screams of agony which still rang through your mind when all else was quiet.
Choked by your tears, you raised his hand in yours to place a kiss on his knuckles, his skin so beautifully warm, but the fear to hurt him and the almost physically painful desire to take him into your arms warring in your chest as you whispered, “How are you feeling?”
“Fucked.” There was a weak smirk on his lips as he blinked. “‘n wrapped up in bubble wrap.”
The frail little smirk disappeared from his face as another thought dawned on him, making room for a frown as he whispered, “Max – my uncle…?”
“Live.” You felt the tears streaming down your face. Of relief. So, so much relief, all-encompassing. Because Eddie, your songbird, was alive, and so was Max. “Wayne is fine. And Max is at the hospital. Her bones…are broken. But she’ll heal. She’ll…she’ll be okay again. Lucas is with her, and Erica and El and the rest of the party. And Wayne knows you’re alive. We couldn’t risk bringing him here, because…you know. People tend to get sucked into the monster-hunting-shit pretty quickly but…he knows, and he’s fine. He loves you so much.”
For a moment, Eddie squeezed his eyes shut as he gave a frail nod of relief, a trembling exhale for the breath he’d been holding while the first stray tear rolled down his cheek.
“You saved her, Eddie. You saved Max and El. El told me. You distracted him from the girls.”
“I tried to kill him,” Eddie rasped. “From within. So he couldn’t hurt you again. But I remember that I failed and the rest is…the rest is blurry. You were there, and then we were back in that place and it hurt, it hurt so fucking much –“ His voice broke at the memories, arms rising to bury his face in his hands before, with a pained flinch, he let them sink again.
“I made a deal.” Your voice was quiet, even. “With Vecna.”
“I know. I…I remember. That place…” Eddie’s voice was strangled as the images flitted back to him, and you squeezed his hand, combatting your own memories. Of Eddie, limp and broken as he dangled in the chokehold of Vecna’s vines. “You gave it back.”
“I did,” you said quietly.
“Did it hurt?” It was so soft-spoken, the question catching you by surprise.
“What?”
“When you gave it back.”
“You’re the one who died, Eddie,” you breathed incredulously.
“Didn’t answer my question.”
“It did, but…it’s gone. Just gone now.” You took a trembling breath. “I could have killed him, Eddie. I had him right there, and I could have done it. But…but I didn’t care. About anything else but saving you. And I’d do it all over again. I’d always choose you, a million times over. And I don’t care one bit about the rest of the world. And now Hawkins has fallen, the ground is open and the barrier between worlds is down. It’s snowing, but it’s not snow, Eddie. It’s not snow. It’s this place, bleeding into our homes. But I don’t regret anything. I never will. I got you back and I don’t care at what cost and I’d pay it again.”
And this time, I don’t care what kind of person that makes me. A bad one, or just a desperate one.
It were the same words you’d used when you’d told the rest of the party about the choice you’d made.
They’d understood. All of them.
And of all of them, it had been Hopper who’d spoken first.
“That’s not bad. That’s love. And if we didn’t have that, what the fuck would there even be worth fighting for?”
“Well, uh,” Eddie rasped, his lips tucking into the softest of smiles as he turned his head a little on the pillow to face you, “I’d sure as Hell have made the same choice if it had been you. Not a single second of hesitation. Not one second, you hear me?”
More tears streaming down your face, you shifted in your chair, shuffling closer until you could gently rest your forehead on Eddie’s, his umber eyes never straying from you as, on a choked sob, you whispered, “Next time when I tell you to stay put, Eddie Munson…you stay put. Because I will drag your ass back from whatever afterlife-situation you managed to get yourself into and I’ll be goddamn furious.”
“I promise I’ll let you hold that against me for the rest of our life,” Eddie chuckled softly, his breath warm as it ghosted across your lips, inches from his.
For the rest of our life.
The most beautiful truth.
An entire lifetime ahead.
When your lips brushed his, the touch as light as a feather, too scared to somehow hurt him with his wounds barely having started to heal, it felt like the first saving intake of breath after nearly drowning in a freezing lake. It was, in a way. That’s what Eddie was.
The sun to light your day, the moon to illuminate your night, the stars to guide you through the dark. And the air you breathed.
Where your own kiss was cautious, carefully holding back not to hurt him, Eddie’s was fierce as if he couldn’t believe this was real yet, as if he feared that you’d be gone any second and he’d be back in that dark, dark place filled with its unspeakable horrors.
And with each slow kiss, tasting of the salt of both your tears mingling on your lips, each soft sigh spilling from Eddie, each move of his lips as his hand laced with yours on the bedsheets beside him, you could feel all the broken shards of your heart coming together, put back in their places and mended together until you were whole again.
Until that night, these ten minutes in which you’d been forced to live in a world where there was no Eddie Munson, faded into a distant memory, like the images of a nightmare already fading away beneath the morning sun.
Eddie raised his hand to cradle your cheek –
“FUCK!” It was a strangled, pained outcry, making you jump back in your chair as he hissed, “Goddamnit –“
“Don’t move,” you winced, your hands coming up to grasp his, “Don’t move, okay?”
“Yeah, noticed that,” Eddie pressed through gritted teeth. You could see the pain beneath the tough exterior he was putting up.
For a heartbeat, you stayed like this. Hands intertwined on the bedsheets, Eddie’s eyes momentarily squeezed shut and his fingers squeezing yours as he waited for the tidal wave of pain to ebb which had seized him upon the movement, his sharp breaths slowly growing more even as it subsided.
When his umber eyes fluttered open again, he whispered, “How bad?”
Instead of a reply, you slowly reached out to gently pull the blanket downwards to his hips so he could see for himself.
For a moment, Eddie fell uncharacteristically quiet as he glanced down, taking in the gauze wrapped all around his upper body, parts of his thighs.
Then, “Jesus Christ. I always made fun of people dressing up as mummies for Halloween. Uh. By the way. Whose…um, whose bed is it I’m so casually lounging in naked?”
“El’s,” you said as you gently pulled the bedsheets up to cover him again, careful not to brush against the gauze on the side of his neck as you tucked the fabric under his chin to keep him warm. “This is her and Hopper’s cabin.”
Eddie’s eyes widened.
“You and Max aren’t the only ones who conquered death.”
“And here I was thinking I’m special,” Eddie quipped, drawing a soft giggle from you.
“You’re the specialest,” you reassured with a soft grin.
“You just say that ‘cause you think I’m pretty.”
The laughter was already bubbling up your throat, but it was choked by more tears spilling from your eyes as you let your forehead gently fall against Eddie’s.
“Fuck,” you choked, “I thought we’d never have this again. I thought I’d never hear your voice again. See your smile. I…Eddie you can’t do that again.” Your words were fusing into quiet sobs, ripping out of you in waves too strong to suppress them any longer, “Promise. Promise you won’t leave again. Promise –“
“Hey,” Eddie breathed, shushing you as slowly, gently, one of his hands settled on the side of your face. Your tears were seeping into the bandage wrapped around his palm, covering the deep gash where he had caught the blade of Jason’s knife. “Ssssh, I’m here, monster slayer,” he rasped, “I’m here. You’re not gonna lose me again, ‘kay? I still got your ribbon, remember? Can’t lose me. That thing’s magic.”
You sniffled, wiping at your tears with the sleeve of your sweatshirt, before you breathed, “Okay, I’m…I’m calm. I got it. You really need to drink something. And eat. I think Joyce said she wanted to make some chicken soup for later. Come on, I’ll help you sit up.”
You moved to help Eddie sit up, stuffing the pillow behind his back for support, and your heart ached at the sight of the pained flinch contorting his still bruised features, his face growing even paler with the exertion of the small movement, cold sweat beading on his forehead and making the dark curls of his bangs stick to his skin.
“You’ll heal,” you breathed, gently squeezing his hands. “The doctors said it will take a few weeks but you’ll heal and I’ll be with you all the way. And for now…” You let go of him to pick up one of the Yoo-Hoo bottles you’d placed on the ground beside the bed, waving it in your hand with a budding smile, “You-hoo need to drink something. Come on, I’ll help you sit up, okay?”
As you moved to unscrew the bottle’s lid, the door to El’s room creaked open, a pair of warm brown eyes widening at the sight of Eddie sitting in bed, more or less upright and awake.
“Oh!”
You jumped up from your chair to help Joyce with the tray she was balancing in her hands, a steaming bowl on it already spreading the savory scent of broth through the room.
“Hi.” Eddie gave her an awkward smile. “Uh. I’m Eddie. Sorry for occupying the bed.”
“No worries, honey,” Joyce smiled, letting you take the tray from her hands to set it down at the end of the bed.
“This is Joyce Byers,” you said, and Eddie’s face lit up.
“The Christmas-Lights-Lady who’s never been wrong.”
Joyce gave you a smirk. “I like him already.”
With a glance at Eddie, she said, “You need to eat. I’ll bring you two a second portion of broth and –“
“It’s fine,” you said, sitting down in the chair beside the bed, “He can have mine. I’ll help myself later.”
With a nod and another smile at Eddie, Joyce pulled the door shut behind her.
“She’s tiny,” Eddie commented. “And I’m still pretty sure she’d win every fist fight she joined.”
You laughed. “That’s about the most accurate description of Joyce Byers I’ve ever heard.”
Eddie opened his mouth to reply, but he stilled as the door creaked open for a second time, his eyes widening, and you followed his stare to the looming figure in the doorway.
“Joyce sent me with more soup.”
“It’s broth,” Joyce’s voice sounded from somewhere in the background.
“Same thing,” Hopper murmured, raising the steaming bowl. It looked tiny in his hands, like the dishes on a fairy’s tea table.
“Munson.”
Eddie seemed to sink a little deeper into the pillows behind him. “Chief.”
“Wait –“ you gaped, “You know each other?!”
Hopper chuckled. “Had a few run-ins in the past. Callahan got his ass for underage drinking three years ago –“
“One beer,” Eddie said, “It was one beer.”
“ – and while our Munson Junior here was waiting for his uncle to get from his night shift to pick him up at the police station, a good pound of bagged weed flooded from the boy’s clothes all over the goddamn floor.”
“The start of a wonderful friendship,” Eddie quipped with a smirk, and you laughed.
“No way.”
“And it was good weed at that,” Hopper grinned, and Eddie’s smirk made room for an incredulous grin.
“You kept the fucking weed?”
“Confiscated,” Hopper corrected with a mischievous drawl, “I confiscated it.”
The chief placed the bowl in your hands.
“Alright. ‘M gonna leave you to it.”
With a nod, he left.
When the door clicked shut, you let out another disbelieving laugh. “You need to tell me everything about that encounter.”
“He never filed a report,” Eddie said. “Not once. He’s a good one.”
“Don’t let him hear that,” you winked, before you placed the bowl of broth on the night stand. “Okay, Joyce is right, you need to eat. I’ll –“ You cut yourself off at the sight of Eddie’s pained flinch. “What’s wrong?”
“I, uh. I gotta pee first.” He winced a little as he mumbled the words, and your heart squeezed in your chest.
You knew Eddie hated it to ask for help.
He’d always hated it to ask whether you could proof-read his assignments, hated it to need help with anything, no atter how much he loved helping others.
“You wanna try and go to the bathroom?”, you said softly as you rose from your chair. “I’ll help you. We just need to get you some underwear on first.”
Eddie gnawed his lip. “You…you’re sure? Like…you won’t find me less, uh. Hot, or stuff?”
You suppressed a soft laugh at the way he was staring at you with those beautiful umber puppy dog eyes.
“Eddie,” you said softly, “I’ve been washing you and changing your bandages every day. I was there when they…when they patched you up, all the way. We went to literal hell and back together. I think we’re both past the point where it’s weird to accompany each other to pee. Besides,” you quipped, giving him a grin to loosen some of his tension, “It’s either me who’s helping…or Hopper.”
“You’ve washed me?”
You swallowed at the memory of bowl after bowl of soapy water turning crimson, then pink, then finally clear as you’d washed the dried blood from Eddie’s skin. “How did you think the blood disappeared?”
“That explains the flowery smell.”
“I’ve never met a person in my life who’s so ready to always help others yet absolutely despises to receive help themselves, you know.”
“I don’t despise receiving help,” Eddie corrected with a mumble, “I despise needing help. Especially if that entails my girlfriend needing to help me pee.”
“Then look at it this way”, you whispered, “You’ve been there. All the way, helping me through the darkest time of my entire life. Every step. That’s the beautiful thing of being together. You don’t have to do things on your own anymore. And neither do I. So after everything you’ve done for me…please let me do this for you. Let me help you until you can do these things yourself again in a few weeks. And –“ you gave him a sultry smile, “There’s nothing that could ever make you less hot for me, anyways.”
***
You couldn’t tell what had roused you from your slumber, slumped in the chair, your feet resting on the foot of the mattress of El’s bed right beside Eddie’s.
A strange sense of foreboding perhaps, the way birds took to the skies before an earthquake or cats hid before a storm when the sky was still clear. An intuition sprouted from being connected to another person as deeply as you were to Eddie, heart and soul.
As you blinked against the pale moonlight seeping through the window to cast the little room into a silver glow, your hackles were raised even before the remnants of sleep had left your bleary eyes and dazed mind.
Eddie was still tucked in beneath the blankets, the rise and fall of his chest making relief bloom in your heart once again – but it was short-lived, this time. Because his breathing wasn’t even. It was shallow and ragged.
And his features weren’t schooled into the serene mask of peaceful sleep.
His brow was furrowed, and tears were rushing down his face, soaking the gauze patch on his left cheek and dripping into the dark curls fanned out around his head, like spilt ink in the silver moonlight.
He looked as if he were in pain.
Just as you moved out of your chair to sit on the mattress and rouse him from whatever nightmare was plaguing him, a frail, agonized whimper ripped from him to fill the silence of the moonlit bedroom, peaceful no longer.
“Eddie,” you whispered, your hands gently settling on his shoulders, careful not to startle him. “Eddie, hey. Wake up. Wake up, Eddie.”
Just as panic clawed its way up your throat, Eddie’s string of whimpers was broken by a sharp intake of breath as his eyes flew open.
You could see the panic brimming within like fish in a pond.
“It’s okay,” you whispered softly, taking his hands in yours on the sheets, “You’re okay. I’m here. Right here. You’re save, see?”
In the dim silver light, you could see the exact moment in which the nightmare’s talons which had been holding his mind hostage started to loosen as he recognized you.
But his tears didn’t stop spilling.
A strangled sob ripped from him, so horribly pained and helpless, making your heart bleed for him when you shuffled closer, cuddling up at the edge of the mattress beside him. Gently, ever so gently not to rip open his healing wounds in the process, you pulled him against you until the side of his face rested against your collarbone, his quiet, heart-wrenching sobs spilled against you.
You stayed like this, with Eddie next to your own heartbeat right where he belonged as you held him, the moonlight and the silence filling with his muffled sobs the only company.
“It’s okay,” you cooed softly, “I got you. It was a dream.”
Your fingertips carded through his dark curls in soothing motions, brushing them away from Eddie’s tear-stained cheeks while his tears soaked the fabric of your shirt.
“They were…they were back,” Eddie choked, “The bats. They got me and then they…they got you.”
“They’ll never get you again.”
“How do you know? He’s out there. He’s still out there.”
You were at a loss. “Because…because he’s hurt. And weakened. And we nearly had him. Next time, we’ll be wiser. Next time we’ll have El and Hopper and the entire Byers family and you haven’t seen Joyce with an axe yet and El got her full powers back. Next time, we’ll get him. And we’ll make sure he won’t get up again. But for now, we’re safe. And I got you.”
“Will it stop?”, Eddie breathed. “The dreams.”
You bit your lip, pulling him a little closer. “One day.”
“How did you do it?”, Eddie whispered. It sounded pleading. “How did you get through them?”
“At first, I didn’t.” You swallowed. “And then I met you. You found me. And you made them go away. You made them fade away, Eddie. And now I’m going to do the same thing for you.”
You placed the gentlest of kisses on the crown of Eddie’s head, stray curls tickling your lips, running your hands through his hair until the tension had left his body and the ears had dried on his cheeks, until the soft susurrations of his even breaths were weaving with the beams of moonlight once more.
“I promise I’ll make them stop,” you whispered into his curls.
And you did.
Like a dragon guarding its gold, you watched over Eddie’s sleep, beside him in bed with your back resting against the headboard and your eyes flying over the pages of a book illuminated by the moonlight filtering through the window.
Every night, when his breathing grew shallow and ragged, you roused him from his sleep, already holding him close before the first tears started falling, letting him sob as he buried his face in the crook of your neck while your fingers gently carded through his curls, or painted soothing patterns on his back as he drifted back to sleep.
His wounds started to heal, his skin mending as night for night, the nightmares took longer to get him, their intensity fading.
There would be scars.
You knew that better than anyone.
The memories of Vecna’s collection of horrors, his crimson lair and the army of bats, the agony of being torn apart by hundreds of razorblade-claws and needle-teeth…they would fade over time, little by little, growing paler and paler like the colors of a polaroid picture left in the sun, until the pain would be numbed to a faint sting flaring up only occasionally.
It would take time, of course.
But time was what you had.
After a few weeks, Eddie was able to leave the bed for longer than the obligatory ten-minute shower.
He was still a wanted man. The Hawkins PD, back under Hopper’s orders, was busy in the aftermath of “the earthquake”, trying to find those who’d gone missing.
Hawkins stayed destroyed.
Finals had been postponed to the summer, the school’s gym and cafeteria turned into a makeshift shelter for those who’d lost their homes to the four clean rips which had torn the town apart.
You’d been to the cafeteria for a few hours to help Robin and Steve as they sorted clothes – but beneath the pity for all those poor souls who’d lost their homes, their friends and family, there was resentment simmering beneath the surface. Hawkins was small, and you recognized most of these people from the townhall meeting, staring at you with barely concealed curiosity and – in most cases – disdain. Because you’d told them a truth they still didn’t want to hear. Because you’d spoken up against Jason and his lies, taken Eddie’s side when they’d been shouting for vengeance.
He was ready to die, you wanted to scream at them, shake them, he was ready to die for this fucking hateful small-minded town and you will never accept that he’s a hero because you don’t want a hero who has long hair and ripped clothes and tattoos and plays D&D.
Some of them refused to take your help, even.
You couldn’t have cared less.
Safe to say, you never went back there – and none of your friends asked you to.
You all knew that there would never be a way to clear Eddie’s name – because people didn’t want it cleared. They needed their monster, and they needed it to be visible, someone they could point their finger at and say, See, I told you that boy was a bad apple.
There were things not even Chief Jim Hopper had enough power to change. So Eddie stayed hidden at the cabin in the woods, his five-minute-walks around the little wooden structure alongside you growing longer and longer until the two of you were venturing deeper into the woods, careful not to be caught.
Sometimes, El or Dustin accompanied the two of you.
Sometimes, you were alone, eager to make use of the solitude the woods granted the two of you when the sun was setting and your kisses grew heated, Eddie’s hands wandering beneath the hem of your summer dress – but never farther. You didn’t dare go further, still scared to hurt him, cause his still healing wounds to rip open again.
April blurred into May.
The ground stayed open, columns of smoke rising into the skies on some days. Flakes of white sailing through the air on others. Ashes, the officials and news said – but you all knew what they were.
But there were no monsters. No strange disappearances or mutilated bodies found, no sign that Vecna was still alive.
You knew he was, though, and so did Will, vigilant and jumpy most of the time, always a hand on his neck and a quick glance cast over his shoulders wherever he went.
For now, though, Vecna was gone. Rallying his strength and forces for one final blow. You managed to push the thought away on most days, store it in the trunk with all the bad memories and thoughts, at the bottom of your heart. The only thing that mattered was Eddie, breathing and smiling and laughing again, right beside you.
Spring flowers wilted as meadows of wildflowers started blooming all around. Fields of scarlet poppy dotting the landscape at the edge of the woods, forget-me-nots blooming at the edge of the path leading to Hopper’s cabin. You knew they remembered Eddie of that night, as much as they did you.
One day, teeth gritted as tears of hatred blurred your view, making the eerie blue color swim as your nails dug into the earth to rip them out one by one. It felt good.
“You’d make a very pretty, very aggressive gardener,” Eddie had commented as you’d righted yourself, a little sweaty in the late-spring warmth lacing the air even in the shade of the woods.
And each night, you rested beside Eddie, heartbeat against heartbeat.
Each night before you switched off the lights, you let your fingertips brush over the vibrant green silk still tied around Eddie’s wrist, whispering a silent thank you. For bringing him to you, and back again and again, like the thread pulling your lover out of the Minotaur’s Labyrinth.
It was a warm day in early June when the lady in the dark suit appeared on the front porch of Hopper’s cabin, her gaunt features stern and dark eyes locked on Eddie and you, sitting on the steps to enjoy the warmth of the day, before she handed him an envelope.
You already knew what was inside even before Eddie had opened it, his rings glinting in a beam of waning afternoon sunlight.
It was a fake ID.
“Harold?” Eddie scrunched his nose before squinting up at the agent. “Like, come on. You’re the government. You could’ve picked every imaginable name and what you came up with is Harold?”
“Let me see,” you snickered as you grabbed the ID, letting out a snort. “They picked this photo and you worry about them giving you the fake name Harold?”
“You know how to cheer me up,” Eddie scoffed good-naturedly, taking back the document to scrutinize the picture.
There had been some rather heated discussions with Hopper about cutting Eddie’s hair to “not stick out like a flamingo in a flock of penguins”, as Hopper had called it – but there had been something in Eddie’s eyes when he had protested, something that had raised your hackles – but Hopper had seen it, too, and he’d backpedaled faster than you’d even jumped up from the sofa to take Eddie’s side.
And you’d all agreed that pretty much everyone would suspect a person on the run to change looks, especially someone who stood out as much as Eddie did – and thus, he could be hiding in plain sight.
On the run.
It was so wrong that he needed to run, after having stayed to fight for this fucking town.
You pushed the thought away. It was of no help right now.
And as long as Eddie lived, things would be okay. Were okay.
Not a muscle in the agent’s face twitched as she announced, “You’ve got ten minutes to pack your bags and say your good-byes, Mr. Munson. I’ll be waiting by the car.”
“Now?”, you blurted, rising from your place on the steps, “But his wounds aren’t even fully healed –“
“With every second Mr. Munson spends in this town,” the agent interrupted you, her expression growing even sterner, “He is at risk to be spotted. This town is neither forgetting nor forgiving. And if the angry townsfolk show up here, there is nothing Chief Hopper or the government can do to tame their ire.” She paused, her expression softening a little at the edges. “For now, this is all we can do.”
“It’s okay,” Eddie said, suppressing a pained wince as he slowly rose from the steps. He’s been uncharacteristically quiet during the exchange.
With a curt nod, the agent turned to vanish between the trees again, her high-heels making a crunching noise on the carpet of dried leaves covering the forest floor as her steps faded away.
You’d known this day would come, that Eddie would have to go into hiding until Owens’ agents would be able to clear his name. However long that might take.
“Okay,” you sighed, “Let’s go and pack. I mean, Wayne already salvaged whatever it was that could be salvaged from your stuff, and I don’t actually need that much, though I might have to stop over to grab a few of my things and…and tell my good-byes for now. I mean, we’ll be back at some point but –“
“Monster slayer –“
“But,” you grinned, “This means we’ll actually get to the beach way sooner than we thought. I was thinking…California’s nice this time of year. A little hot but I think I’d prefer it over Florida and its alligators –“
“Y/N.”
The sound of your name, soft on Eddie’s voice, a strange gravity laced within, made you halt.
Deep, dark sadness clouded Eddie’s umber gaze as he looked at you, the final beams of light of the warm summer sun painting streaks of caramel into his curls, his posture slumped with the residual pain of defeat and an invisible weight resting on his shoulders.
You knew what he would say even before he began to speak.
It didn’t make the words hurt any less.
“You can’t come with me.”
In the silence that descended upon the two of you, the birdsong floating through the woods, the rustle of leaves in the breeze and wings in the foliage, it was all too loud all of a sudden.
Eddie swallowed. “I can’t let you do this.”
“You can’t?”, you said quietly, swallowing against the lump which was growing in your throat, “Or you don’t…don’t want me to?” Your voice was strained with the weight of the tears you were trying to hold back.
“That’s not what you deserve,” Eddie said quietly. “Life on the run. We have no clue how long it’ll take them to get my name cleared and even then, I’ll never be able to return to this goddamn shithole of a town. They’ll burn me at the stake. We both know it. There will always…there will always be a Jason pitting others against me. And always an Andy and a Chance and a Chad and whatever to chase me. I’ll never be safe here.”
“Nobody will ever be safe here again,” you said quietly, just as a single white particle floated down in front of you, like the flake of ash after a fire. “Nobody.” And it’s exactly what this fucking small-minded god-forsaken town deserves, a bitter little voice chimed up in your mind, for what they did to Eddie.
“For now, you will be. With your friends, your family –“
“You’re my best friend,” you whispered, echoing Eddie’s own words. Spoken only days ago, in the calm before the storm. “You’re my family, Eddie.”
“And you’re mine. Fuck, monster slayer, I’m not doing this to hurt you. But it’s me who’s the wanted murderer, not you, and I can’t drag you into a goddamn life on the run! You – you gotta graduate. You gotta walk that stage for both of us, and snatch that diploma because that fucking piece of paper is your future, and it will open all the doors for you that you want it to. And just ‘cause I don’t have that chance anymore, doesn’t mean I can let you throw yours away, too.” Eddie took a step closer, taking your hands in his. They were warm. Voice fragile, a desperate plea in those beautiful brown eyes, Eddie breathed, “You’re my future. But I can only be yours, too, if you don’t close the doors that scrap of paper will keep open for you.” Eddie’s hands squeezing yours, he leaned in to rest his forehead against yours, breathe in your scent, before he added on a whisper, “They postponed finals to the end of summer. Graduate, monster slayer. Get that diploma.”
“And then what?”, you choked out.
Eddie’s voice was fierce when he said, “Then we’ll find each other, like we always do. And run away together, if…if that’s what you want.”
He slowly raised your joined hands, until the sunlight caught on your green silk ribbon wrapped around his wrist. “We always did. We always will. Even when we’re worlds apart. ‘kay?”
“It’s not fair.” Your voice was nothing more than a choked sob. “It’s not fair. You haven’t done anything wrong. You fought for these people –“
“I fought for you. And Wayne, and Max, and the rest of your friends. Listen,” his voice softened as Eddie gently pulled his hand away from yours to cup your cheek, “This is not good-bye, ‘kay? I promise it’s not. It’s a see ya later.”
“And then we’ll find each other?”
“Three months. Then we’ll find each other.” And with the saddest of smiles, Eddie placed a kiss on your forehead. “This is not good-bye, monster slayer. I promise this isn’t goodbye.”
[Saturday, September 6th, 1986. NOW.]
“I don’t want to.”
“What else are you gonna do? Sit at home, wrapped in your eternal gloom and misery like the unmarried heroine in a period drama?” Robin huffed from behind you. “You’ve been doing that for the past three months.”
“I’ve been studying.”
“And look,” you friend tried, the grin she gave you through the mirror wide, “You’ve even taken a shower!”
“I take regular showers, thank you very much.”
“Bathing in self-pity doesn’t count.”
With a deep sigh, you turned away from the mirror, the hem of the ridiculous prom gown Nancy and Robin had forced you to don tonight swishing around the tops of your knees.
You’d bought the dress with Nancy at Starcourt Mall, on the first day of the summer holidays. Right before everything had gone to hell. Before the Mind Flayer and everything else.
Thinking back to this time, your heart squeezed painfully in your chest. Not because it had been the last day of things being okay – but because back then, Eddie hadn’t been part of your life. Back then, he’d been a daydream quickly swatted away because he’d been Eddie The Freak. The slacker everyone would have told you to steer clear of.
Wearing this dress now, bought for the final prom, the dance at the end of senior year right before you’d leave the cage that was Hawkins behind…it felt strange. And it felt wrong. Because Eddie was gone again. He would never take you to prom, or see you in that dress, because he was on the run for crimes he hadn’t committed.
And you didn’t know when you would see him again.
“Oh, no, no, no – Nance!”, Robin exclaimed as she carefully dabbed at your cheeks with the sleeve of her blazer, wiping at the tears you hadn’t realized had started to fall again.
“He’s on the run Robin,” you whispered, the words choked by a silent sob.
“So’s your makeup.”
The comment did nothing to soothe your heartache.
“Nancy, we got a situation here!”
When Nancy darted into the room, her own blush-colored dress glittering in the light of the setting sun, she took one look at you and groaned, “It took me half an hour.”
“Didn’t you think of using waterproof makeup?”
Nancy threw Robin a sideways glare that silenced her. “You do the makeup then, next time.”
“I’m sorry,” you said with a quiet sniffle, “Just…go without me. I’m not in the mood.”
It had been Dustin’s idea, to have a private little prom with the party, now that the Byers had returned to Hawkins and Max had been released from the hospital. To celebrate not victory – for there had been no victory, with Vecna still out there and licking his wounds – but survival. Even more in times like these, when the ground was still split open, and ashes – spores – drifted from the skies above Hawkins on most days.
“Go without you,” Nancy echoed, as Robin cocked an eyebrow.
“So you can do what, sit on the ground in that ridiculously sexy prom dress and weep? Hell, no.”
“To pack,” you said.
That had been the plan all along.
Graduate.
Grab the diploma.
Run.
Not away from Hawkins, but back to Eddie. Find him, wherever he might be now.
With a sniffle, you sunk onto the edge of Nancy’s bed.
“I know,” Nancy said quietly, taking your hands in hers as she knelt in front of you. “I know you miss him.”
“It hurts,” you whispered.
It did. A physical pain lodged deep within your chest. As if the thread tying your soul to Eddie’s was being pulled taut over the distance, tugging painfully at your heart with the strain of it.
It wouldn’t tear. You knew it wouldn’t. But it hurt, nonetheless.
“Have you heard anything? Like, a hint or something?”, Robin asked quietly, as she settled on the fuzzy carpet beside Nancy’s bed.
You shook your head.
“He can’t exactly risk a call,” Nancy said.
Robin shrugged. “A postcard, maybe. Without a sender or anything. It would give away his location without giving away it’s from Eddie. But I mean, she’d know.”
“No post card,” you said quietly. “I don’t know how to find him. But…I’ll find him. I always have.”
Robin gave you a soft grin. “Just make sure you don’t run him over with your car again.”
“If you’re gone tomorrow, anyways,” Nancy said, sadness in her dark eyes as she grabbed a Kleenex from the box on her night stand to dab at the tears now drying on your cheeks, “Then you should definitely come tonight. It’s our prom. We don’t know when we’ll see you again. Remember when we bought that dress at the start of last summer?”
“Yeah,” you nodded, a faint little smile tugging at your lips as your fingers brushed over the tulle spread around you. It was the deep midnight-blue of a night sky, glittering beautifully in the waning light of another warm summer’s day. It looked like the November night sky underneath which Eddie and you had shared your first kiss.
“If everything had turned out, you know –“ Robin made an awkward little gesture, “Less monster-y, do you think you’d have said yes if Eddie had just, like, walked up to you and invited you to prom?”
The words Eddie had whispered to you on the clearing, right before you’d all went into the Upside Down for what you’d hoped with all your heart would be the final battle, came back to you.
“When this is all over, I’m gonna take you to prom. I mean, if you wanna go, that is. I’d love to be all sappy and cheesy and take you to prom. I’ll give you one of these little flower-bracelets and take you out for dinner first. Or milkshakes. Or both. Gotta treat my girl. Dance with you all night, twirl you around in whatever dress you’ll pick which doesn’t matter ‘cause you could attend in your pajamas and you’d still be the most beautiful girl in the world.”
“We’d probably create a bit of a commotion.”
“Would you be okay with that?”
“I told you I’d wear my Hellfire shirt proudly. I wasn’t joking, Eddie. When this is over, I can’t wait to show the world that I’m Eddie Munson’s girl. That you’re the one who stole my heart.”
“Not stole,” Eddie had whispered, placing a kiss on the tip of your nose, “Won. Stealing means it doesn’t actually belong to you, but winning means it’s been given freely. That it was a choice. So…you’re gonna go to prom with me?”
“Yeah. I think I would have.”
Nancy let out a chuckle. “But…Eddie Munson at prom? In a tux?”
You giggled. “I don’t think he’d have switched the leather jacket for a tux, but he would’ve given me flowers.”
“You’d have caused a hubbub,” Robin giggled. “You two might’ve won the front page of the Tigers Post.”
“Okay,” Nancy interrupted good-naturedly, “Now that that’s settled, I’ll freshen up your makeup and then we’re ready to go.”
“Go where, by the way?”, you wondered, but Nancy only smiled.
“It’s a surprise. You’ll see when you get there.”
***
“When you said surprise location,” you mumbled, glad you’d opted for the sneakers instead of the glittery heels, “I didn’t think we were going for a hike.”
You’d been surprised when Steve, who’d picked you up at the Wheelers’, had parked his car at the side of the dark road running along the edge of the patch of woods behind Hawkins High, before following him, Dustin and Robin into the thicket, not caring if the brambles lining the little dust trail would tear at the glittering fabric of your gown. You felt a little like a fairy tale princess on the run.
“We had to choose somewhere where nobody would notice us breaking curfew,” Dustin huffed from beside you.
Eight-pm-curfew. Another government-installed rule for those who’d opted to stay behind in what was left of Hawkins. As if a curfew would ever be able to stop whatever Vecna would send through the rips in the ground once he’d recovered.
“Yeah, and since you burnt down the boathouse,” Steve chuckled as he threw you a glance over his shoulder, “We thought this was a good alternative location.”
The thing was…the little clearing was Eddie’s and your spot. Your safe haven. And while you loved your friends dearly, having a private little prom at this clearing felt like breaking the sanctity it held for you, painfully reminding you of all the lunchbreaks you’d spend there with Eddie. The almost kiss you’d shared on this clearing, and all those kisses afterwards. It had been on the clearing where Eddie had helped you find peace and control the darkness you’d been so terrified of all the months before. The way he’d made love to on that picnic table, before he’d given you his guitar pick necklace with the promise to always find his way back to you.
“At least it has a picnic table,” Robin mused, and you bit your lip.
“Um. Yeah.”
Steve threw you an appalled glance over his shoulder. “Oh, hell no. Really?!”
“What? What’s happening?”, Dustin chimed in, confused for once, as you shrugged.
“Oh come on,” Steve groaned, raking his hands through his perfect hair. “In the fucking woods?!”
“What did you do?”, Dustin inquired, growing more and more exasperated.
“Nothing.”
“Picnic,” Robin drawled sweetly with the most devious grin you’d ever seen on her freckled features.
You narrowed your eyes at Steve. “I don’t think you’re the one who should be criticizing, Mr. Skull Rock.”
“Ew,” Dustin muttered.
“There.” Steve waved at the boy, who’d scrunched up his nose. “You traumatized the kid.”
“And your dating life has traumatized me, dingus,” Robin announced good-naturedly.
“So, um,” you began, “Nancy and the rest –“
“Are gonna bring the snacks and drinks and music,” Robin interrupted, hooking her arm with yours as she pulled you along.
The sun had sunken below the horizon by now, night creeping in at the edges to tint the sky the deep dark blue of fresh ink on paper, matching the soft fabric of your dress.
Dustin and Steve had started bickering again as they walked in front of you, their voices mingling with the evening sounds of the woods coming alive after another scorching summer’s day, the air cool as it brushed against your bare arms and legs. A beautiful summer night.
But the words were drowned out by your own thoughts already wandering back to the task of finding Eddie.
Wherever he was now.
You’d been caught up so deeply in your own thoughts that you nearly ran into Dustin, who’d stopped right in front of you, an endearing wide grin on his face.
“My lady.”
You gave him a gin in reply. “Sir Henderson.”
“You need a date for prom, right?”
You raised an eyebrow. “And you’re offering?”
The boy’s grin widened, turning weirdly mischievous.
“Close your eyes,” Robin said gently as she let go of your arm.
“Why?”
“Just do what you’re told,” Steve chided good-naturedly, “Just for once.”
“This feels like a very weird Carrie-esque moment,” you said slowly as you complied and shut your eyes, listening to the sounds of wings in the canopy of trees above, the footsteps on the dried leaves covering the ground. “Nancy will kill you if anything happens to my dress or my makeup. Right now, you’d all take well to remember the girl’s hiding a variety of guns in her bedroom.”
There was a shift in the air in front of you, before someone chuckled, “Yeah, I promise I’ll behave.”
At the sound of the voice, so beautifully familiar, a voice you’d missed so much it had hurt, your eyes flew open, a chocked squeal already bubbling from your lips before your gaze met a pair of sparkling umber eyes and the most radiant smile you’d ever seen.
“Hey there, monster slayer. Did ya miss me?”
Your reply was already choked by the happy tears streaming down your face as you threw yourself into Eddie’s arms, hard enough to send him stumbling backwards a step as Eddie’s arms wrapped around you, his intoxicating scent of leather and cologne and the faintest trace of cigarettes, of home, immersing you as you breathed, “You’re here. You’re here. How –“
“Congrats for graduating, sweetheart,” Eddie whispered into your hair before he pulled back, dark eyes scanning you in a beat of overwhelmed silence as he took you in, wonder and disbelief and joy warring on his features.
He looked as beautiful as ever. His mane of dark curls had grown a little in the past three months, the dark brown tinted black in the half-light of the rising moon sending its pale beams through the leaves above, and the wound on his cheek had healed into a slender silver line cutting across his pale skin.
Tears were glittering in his eyes.
Happy tears.
And finally, his lips crashed on yours as he pulled you flush against him, and all the heartbreak and misery of those past three months without him, of worrying and hoping he’d found safety, that he was okay, that his nightmares weren’t plaguing him too much at night and that he knew, even if none of you was allowed to reach out in order to keep him safe, that your heart was with him...all of it faded into the past, scattering like confetti on the ground because Eddie was here, he was back and holding you and kissing you and that was all that would ever matter.
The kiss was passionate but chaste, and you could feel how much willpower it cost Eddie to hold back as long as your friends were still here – a sentiment you shared. And it got harder with every passing second.
“Okay,” you heard Robin chuckle softly in the background, as Eddie pulled away from the kiss, his hands lacing with yours as if he were scared you could fade like mist in the sun if he let go of you, “We’re gonna, um, leave you alone now.”
“Are we?”, Steve muttered. “With the poor picnic table?”
It took so much resolve to even momentarily tear your gaze away from Eddie and throw your friends a glance over your shoulder. Robin, with her cheeky, knowing smirk, Dustin with his wide grin and Steve, looking like an annoyed protective big brother, all of them looking a little funny in their festive attire in the middle of the woods.
“We’ll meet you at El and Hopper’s cabin for our little prom,” Dustin grinned, and with a wink, Robin added, “As soon as you’re…ready.”
“Yeah, yeah, come on,” Steve muttered as he steered Dustin away from the little clearing, “I need a drink.” With a glance at Eddie, he added, “Don’t bring her back too late.”
And with your friends’ footsteps receding, you turned back to Eddie.
He was watching you, the warmth of a summer’s day shining in his dark eyes as he took you in, adoration and disbelief still warring in the umber depths, as if he still couldn’t believe you were here.
“You look…you look beautiful,” he breathed, voice strained with emotions.
“This is real,” you breathed. “You’re real.”
Eddie tilted his head, the widest grin on his face as he brushed his thumb over your cheek. “Hell yeah. Told you I’d take you to prom, sweetheart. By the way, I, um…I got something for you.”
His grin turning a little shy, he pulled something out of the pocket of his leather jacket, careful not to crush it in the process.
A wreath of daisies.
“I couldn’t exactly walk into an actual flower shop so I picked these on the way here and did it myself but, uh, that’s what the girl is getting for prom, right?”
“Yeah,” you breathed, the tiny white petals of the daisies blurring beneath your happy tears, “It’s perfect.” The thought of Eddie the metalhead sitting cross-legged in a meadow of wildflowers weaving a wreath of daisies made warmth bubble in your chest like frizzing champagne as your lips curved into a wide smile.
“I’m a man of many talents. Catch me opening up a flower shop in disguise.”
A soft giggle bubbled from your lips as you watched Eddie gently tie the little wreath of daisies around your wrist, the tip of his tongue poking out in that endearing way he probably didn’t even know he was doing when he focused on something. The sight made a sob of relief rip from your throat.
Eddie didn’t get time to inquire about whether everything was okay before you grabbed the lapels of his leather jacket and pulled him into another kiss.
And this time, with both of you alone in the clearing, there was no holding back anymore.
You could feel Eddie smile into the kiss as your tongue flicked over his bottom lip, the blood in your veins replaced by liquid fire, fire that wasn’t stolen from anyone but your own, a fuse lit by Eddie’s own greedy kisses as he gently steered you backwards, your back bumping against the trunk of the nearest tree.
“Fuck, monster slayer,” Eddie breathed, his lips grazing yours as he spoke, as if every inch further away from you would cause him physical pain, “I missed you so much. So fucking much. Those were the longest three goddamn months of my life.”
“I missed you, too,” you whispered, your hands tangling in the soft curls at the back of his head. God, how you’d longed to run your fingers through those beautiful curls again, feel their softness beneath your fingertips and breathe in Eddie’s scent, hold him close to your heart where he belonged. “So much it hurt. Every single day. Every first thought of the day, and every last one before falling asleep, was of you. That you were safe. And okay.”
“I need to show you something,” Eddie breathed, stepping away before he extended his hand for you with a dorky little bow that was so Eddie it made you giggle and put happy tears back in your eyes all over again.
Butterflies and sparklers dancing in your chest, you placed your hand in his, the smooth metal of his rings warm against your skin as his fingers gently closed over yours.
And with the soft hoot of an owl somewhere in the distance, and the stars rising in the inky skies above, the warm breeze laced with the scent of flowers and grass and the faint traces of smoke which was rising in pillars from the rip running through the town center, Eddie pulled you along with him, through the trees, away from the clearing and out of the woods.
When the first houses and street lamps were visible through the trees, Eddie came to a halt, a giddy smile on his lips as he turned around to you.
“Close your eyes.”
“Why?”
“Just close them,” he snickered, and you obliged in time as he stepped behind you, hands settling on your shoulders to guide you for the rest of the way.
“It’s just around the corner.”
With your eyes closed, you let Eddie steer you the last few steps, the soft carpet of rustling dead leaves beneath your feet making way for asphalt as you reached the street, the glow of the street lamps painting orange patterns into the darkness beneath your eyelids while Eddie’s breath stirred your hair.
Just when you were about to inquire how long he was planning on walking you around like that, he came to a halt.
“Gimme one second.” There was a soft creaking sound of metal on metal that sounded like…a car door being opened?
“Are you going to kidnap me?”, you chuckled.
You could feel Eddie’s grin, even with your eyes closed, as he snickered, “Would you like me to?” Voice softening, he added on a whisper, “’kay, you can open your eyes now.”
You did.
A little squeal of surprise bubbled from your lips at the sight in front of you.
At the side of the lonely road parked a van. Another model than Eddie’s old van, a little newer and free of rust but just as big, painted a light blue.
The doors to the back were open, revealing the coziest back of a car you’d ever seen.
The van’s interior was illuminated by strings of battery-powered fairy lights dangling from the ceiling to shed their golden glow like a swarm of fireflies above a large mattress that fully covered the floor, lined by a dozen pillows with tassels and flower prints matching the neatly folded blanket on top of the white bedsheets. And mounted to the windowless wall above the makeshift bed on one side, amidst a sea of band posters, were two guitars – an acoustic one, the words This machine slays dragons written on the wood with white paint, and another familiar one, the dark red surface polished spotless. There was even a small potted houseplant in the corner, on top of what looked like a carved wooden trunk pushed against the back of the passenger seat.
It looked warm and safe and comfortable. It looked like a home.
It felt like a home.
“What –“ you breathed, turning around to Eddie, who was fiddling with the little chain on the sleeve of his leather jacket as he watched you, looking anxious all of a sudden.
“Do you like it? It, um. It was completely bare when Owens’ agents gave me the van, so I tried to turn it into somewhat of a home. It’s not much but…it’s all I could do. I even picked the stuff with the flower stitching. If you…if you still, uh. Wanna come with me. I mean, I wanted you to feel at home but if you’d rather stay in Hawkins, in your actual home, I completely understand. Which is all to ask…” Eddie took a trembling breath, taking your hands in his, the golden glow of the fairy lights dancing in his wide dark eyes as he watched you, before he breathed, “Do you still wanna run away with me, monster slayer? Even if it means you’ll be leaving your home and everything behind to live in the back of a stupid van?”
It felt like your heart would burst with happiness, your own little supernova trapped within the confines of your ribcage.
“My home,” you said, hands locking at the nape of his neck, “Is exactly wherever you are, Eddie Munson. You’re all I’ll ever need.”
You could almost see the weight lifting off his shoulders and heart as your words hovered in the warm sliver of night air between the two of you, the relieved exhale of breath he must’ve been holding as he’d anxiously waited for your reply, as if there was anything that could keep you from him even a single second longer.
And when Eddie’s lips met yours once more, underneath the glittering summer night sky, you felt nothing but happiness. Pure, unfiltered happiness, setting you aglow from within.
You’d lost your songbird three times.
When you’d pushed him away that November night, breaking both your hearts because a broken heart was still a beating one, at least.
When Vecna had taken him, right out of your arms.
And when Hawkins’ festering hatred for everything different had chased him away into hiding.
And yet, each time Eddie Munson had found his way back to you.
If there was such a thing as fate, a thread tying two souls together in love, this was it.
Eddie was your Forever.
With your fingertips grazing his wrist, brushing over the soft silk tied around it, you smiled into the kiss.
Yes, if there was such a thing as a thread of fate, it was a silken green ribbon.
A lucky charm.
The world around the two of you blurred as you lost yourselves in the kisses you shared, growing greedy, feverish, with every passing second. Hawkins and its rage and small-mindedness. The rips running through the ground in the distance, shedding pulsing crimson light into the warm night. The spores floating around you through the air, settling on flowers and roofs, on lamp posts and leaves, like snow, testimony to a poisonous world bleeding into this one.
Maybe it wasn’t the Upside Down which was poisonous. Maybe it was Hawkins as well, the cracks in the ground merely a curtain having been lifted to reveal the ugly truth behind white picket fences and neighborly smiles shared across them, the rot festering behind the neatly painted walls and decorated front doors.
It didn’t matter. None of it.
All that mattered was Eddie, his lips moving against yours, his hands cupping your cheeks and your own fingers tangling in his dark curls.
Never breaking the kiss, you pulled Eddie backwards with you, towards the van with the cozy pillows and fairy lights.
Home.
You settled on the mattress, drawing Eddie with you, the doors of the van shutting with a soft thudding sound as he pulled them close behind him with one hand, the other never letting go of the side of your face, shutting out the world and locking the two of you in your own happy little bubble.
In the peace of the golden glow of the fairy lights glittering from the vehicle’s ceiling like your own personal skyful of stars, making Eddie’s curls shimmer in the softest hues of chocolate and caramel and dancing in his umber eyes as he sat on the mattress in front of you, you pushed the leather jacket off his shoulders, the fabric rustling softly as Eddie shrugged it off the rest of the way – but when your fingertips found the hem of his DIO shirt to lift it, Eddie’s hands shot out, wrapping around yours, and you froze mid-movement.
The sudden change of expression on his face, like a light switch being flipped, made your heart sink.
He looked almost…scared.
“I’m sorry,” you breathed, pulling your hands away from the hem of his shirt. And it dawned on you that maybe you’d startled him with the sudden touch, the memory of the agony of the wounds the bats had torn into his skin too fresh. “I’m so sorry,” you said softly, “I didn’t want to –“
“No,” Eddie interrupted quietly, shaking his head vehemently enough to send his wild curls flying, “No, don’t – it’s not that. Just…uh. I…the last time you saw me, there was still…the wounds were still healing. And now it’s…uh…” He took a trembling breath, struggling for words.
“It’s okay,” you smiled, taking his hands in yours. “We don’t have to do anything.”
“I want to,” Eddie said quietly. “Just…I look different.”
The way he said the word different felt like a punch to your gut. Laced with…not disgust, exactly, but insecurity.
He’d only talked about it once, but you didn’t need to be a genius to know someone like Eddie, who’d been different, looked different, for all his life, had experienced his fair share of bullying.
People at Hawkins High had left him alone, for all you knew – but there had always been other ways to bully someone without directly attacking. Vile words whispered loud enough to be heard, cruel names.
You knew the vile little nicknames people had given Eddie. Freak. Trailer trash. Sewer rat.
And no matter how confident he behaved, how he’d worn the name Freak like a shield, armor in battle, those words must have still gotten under his skin, burrowed deep in his mind to plant their roots and grow there like weeds in a beautiful garden.
“It’s me, Eddie. I’m…you don’t need to hide your scars. None of them. Not the visible ones and not the ones nobody can see, you know that, right?”
“Yeah. I know,” he whispered. “Still look like Frankenstein’s monster.” It was meant as a joke to conceal the bitterness underneath, but his voice was hollow all of a sudden. Your heart squeezed painfully in your chest.
He angled his head to the side, making his curls fall forwards to cover his left cheek where the bats had bitten him.
“Scars aren’t ugly,” you said softly. “They tell a story. And yours tell the story of a guy who became a hero and saved the girl he loved. I don’t know about you…but if that isn’t the most beautiful, most metal story, I don’t know what is. And while this is totally on you and if you want to keep your shirt on forever that’s something I’ll learn to live with, but –“
“These things ate my tattoo,” Eddie interrupted, his tone as grave as his expression.
“I know,” you said quietly.
“They ate my nipple as well.”
“I feel it’s time to clarify,” you said slowly, “That the reason I fell in love with you has never been your regular amount of nipples.”
There was a beat of silence as Eddie stared at you, at the sternness that had settled on your features, before the corners of his lips curled into the whisper of a smile. It was fleeting, the span of a heartbeat before it unraveled again.
“It’s bad,” Eddie said quietly.
And slowly, as if fighting some inner voice screaming at him to stop, Eddie grasped the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, tousling his curls in the process.
You’d seen his wounds that night, had tried to staunch the bleeding. You’d seen the damage afterwards every time you’d cleaned them and changed the bandages.
But still, you hadn’t been prepared for the pain in your chest at the sight of the scars which had stayed behind, the memory of death and agony, so much agony, the terror of all he’d gone through that night forever tattooed into Eddie’s pale skin.
A pattern of raised silver lines was painting his entire chest. From his neck downwards, disappearing beneath the waistband of his ripped jeans, the shape of dozens of gaping maws and curved talons.
Marks on Eddie’s skin to match those that night had left on his soul, nightmares which would accompany him for the rest of his life.
It was unfair, so horribly unfair, that he had to be reminded of them with every glance in the mirror.
It took so much resolve to fight back the images which had etched themselves into your own mind. Memories of Eddie, bleeding and dying in your arms. These few minutes in which his eyes had been empty, the life gone from them, an unseeing stare at a starless sky of eternal night. Of the way Vecna had tied his soul to one of his pillars, a beautiful, broken butterfly trapped in a spider’s web. Eddie’s screams of agony –
“Told ya it’s bad,” Eddie whispered into the shaken silence, reaching for the discarded band shirt to cover his chest again as you blinked back your tears.
“No,” you murmured, and his hand stilled, fist clamped around the hem of the shirt in his lap as he watched you inch closer to carefully cradle his face, “It’s just the memories of that night.”
But maybe you could combat those horrid memories summoned by those scars. Banish those restless, angry spirits with something good.
Until seeing these scars would lose its sting for Eddie.
Swallowing back the lump which had started to grow in your throat, you slowly leaned in, pressing the most delicate of kisses on Eddie’s lips before you whispered, “Can you lay down?”
You could see the confusion shining in Eddie’s umber eyes, but with the tiniest, most timid nod, he sunk down onto the mattress, his curls fanned out around his head like a dark crown and his gaze never leaving yours.
With the softest of smiles, you leaned down, brushing the curls away from the side of his face to place a kiss on the silver scar on his cheek, before you pulled away to glance down at him.
“Is that okay?”
“Yeah,” he breathed, eyes still wide with nerves. “I can put the shirt back on if –“
“You’re beautiful, Eddie Munson,” you said softly, tracing the scar on his cheek with the tip of your index finger. “With and without scars. I just hate the memories they conjure. But you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, and nothing will ever change that. Nothing, do you hear me? And I’ll spend the rest of our lives to prove it to you.”
You could tell Eddie was ringing with his words, and his tears – but he didn’t need to reply. You could see the relief shining in his dark eyes, the devotion for you dancing within them alongside the reflection of the fairy lights above, as you bent down to place another kiss on the corner of his lips.
“Does it still hurt?”
Eddie shook his head. “No. Just feels a little weird sometimes but…that’s all.”
“Can I…?” Your words faded into the slim space between the two of you, with Eddie’s lips mere inches from your own as your fingertips hovered over the silver line zig-zagging across his left cheek.
Watching you carefully, Eddie gave a soft nod.
Never breaking eye contact, you let your fingertips gently graze the jagged silver line running across Eddie’s cheek, slowly tracing the faded bite mark down to his jaw, the brush of your fingers as delicate as the veins in a dragonfly’s wing.
You could feel Eddie’s umber gaze resting on you, like sunrays on your skin.
This, right now, was the first time you were actually free, you realized.
No heartbreak standing between the two of you, no battle drawing closer, no time running out.
Just Eddie and you. Together at last.
His breath hitched as your fingertips followed the line of his jaw and down the column of his throat, and you stilled.
“Did that – hurt?”
Eddie’s lips pulled into a soft smile. “Hell, no. That feels good.”
You leaned down to place a kiss on the corner of his mouth, feeling his smile on your lips before you moved on to place a second kiss on the mark the bat’s teeth had left on his cheek, his curls tickling the side of your face. And with your heart overflowing with love for Eddie, your songbird with the sunshine in his smiles not even Vecna and his monsters had managed to steal, the music in his voice and the life, so much life and warmth in his umber eyes, you began to trail feathery kisses down the pattern of scars on the side of his neck, until each silver line was covered with a kiss, carefully observing Eddie’s reactions, ready to pull away at the slightest sign of discomfort.
But there was no discomfort.
With a smile unfurling on his soft lips, Eddie angled his head, melting into your kisses as you felt him starting to relax beneath you with each feather-light kiss, the tension leaving his body, and tears of joy stung in your eyes as you felt his pulse flutter right beneath your lips in the spot below his ear.
I will always, always come back to you, monster slayer. Eddie’s words, whispered between kisses on the clearing right before you’d headed into battle, came back to you. I promise.
And Eddie Munson had kept that promise, over and over again – even through death.
You trailed kisses down the lines of scars crisscrossing the column of his throat as Eddie’s hand travelled down your spine, shivers running through him with each kiss you placed on his bare skin.
It would take some time, to kiss the bad memories away. Maybe it would take forever.
But time, finally, was what you had.
An entire lifetime.
You followed the path of jagged silver lines downwards to his collarbones, to his chest, a lingering kiss for every healed bite wound until every square inch of Eddie’s skin was covered in your kisses.
You could hear the way his breath hitched with each lingering kiss you placed on his scars, laced with all the words you wanted to whisper to him but couldn’t because the tidal wave of love and happiness immersing you had washed away your voice.
You’re beautiful.
I missed you.
I love you.
I love you so much.
Eddie understood them, anyways.
The soft sighs spilling from his lips, the way his breaths had turned into panting, was spurring you on as you let your lips wander down his happy trail to the waistband of his ripped jeans, fingers already working to undo the buckle of his belt, your movements slow enough for him to stop you should he wish to.
When the button of his fly came undone beneath your fingertips, your gaze met his, his eyes wide and pupils blown with arousal as he leaned up on one elbow, his index finger tracing the side of your face.
“You don’t have to, if you don’t…I mean, you don’t. Yeah. Don’t have to.”
You smiled. “And if I want to?”
A timid grin lighting up his features, Eddie rasped, “Then I’m all yours.”
He didn’t need to tell you twice.
You pushed the ripped jeans down to free the already impressive bulge in his pants, and the sound spilling from his parted lips as your hand wrapped around him went straight to your own core, the embers already having built there with each kiss you’d shared.
Your eyes never leaving his, relishing the sight of the darkness of Eddie’s blown pupils, so wide that they seemed to eclipse the umber color of his irises, the blush dusting his cheeks and the way his lips parted for another sweet sigh as he watched you intently, you placed a kiss on his shaft, lips following the outline of the vein leading to his tip, and your smile widened at the shudder running through Eddie before he let his head fall back onto the pillow.
“Jesus H Christ, monster slayer,” he groaned, voice strained with arousal, “This is – “
He was cut off by the wanton moan spilling from his lips as you let your tongue graze his tip to test the waters, feeling him twitch in your grasp.
“You sure you good?”, Eddie breathed, and your heart felt like it would overflow with love for him as you raised your head to watch him, a blushing, flustered mess beneath your touches. You wished he could see how beautiful he looked.
“Better than good,” you whispered. And wrapped your lips around him, the swirl of your tongue around his tip coaxing another lewd moan from him.
“Fuck,” he breathed, fingers digging into the mattress before he sat up, gently cupping your face to guide you away from him to sit up.
“This is fucking amazing but I can’t go a single goddamn second longer without kissing you, sweetheart.”
And when Eddie’s lips met yours again as he pulled you into his lap, it felt as if every single cell in your body was thrumming with your need for him, to feel him closer still, his fingertips caressing the sensitive skin at the nape of your neck, tasting him, engulfed in his scent and warmth and arms, you knew that everything would be okay. It already was.
Lips moving against his, feeling his hardened length press against the insides of your thighs to fuel the flames licking at your core, your hand settled on Eddie’s chest, the pattern of scars and his heartbeat, steady and strong and racing against your palm reminding you that this was real, that he was here. Not just a beautiful dream, but reality.
It felt like sunlight glittering in the surface of a lake, like a hot chocolate in the middle of winter, the first flowers of spring breaking through the ice on the ground.
“I missed you,” Eddie breathed into the greedy kiss, before pulling back, just enough to look at you with all the love and adoration you were feeling in your own chest, “So fucking much, monster slayer. Not just this, but…everything. Your laugh. The way you giggle right before telling me something funny. How you frown when you concentrate on something. The way it feels when you’re in my arms. Shit.”
“I missed you, too,” you murmured into the space between you. “I missed you so much it hurt.”
When Eddie’s lips were on yours again, the intensity of the kisses growing along that glowing need in your core, his teeth gently grazing your bottom lip to drive you even crazier with need, you rolled your hips against his, clothed core rubbing against his length to cause the sweetest friction and draw a lovely moan from Eddie’s lips.
“I’m gonna take that dress off, now, ‘kay?”, he whispered, smiling into the kiss as you replied with a breathless nod.
But he didn’t just reach around you to undo the zipper on your back.
Instead, his hands settled on your arms, gently indicating for you to turn around, and you obliged, careful not to bump your head against the fairy lights strung along the van’s ceiling in the process.
But instead of the sensation of the zipper at the back of your dress being opened, you could feel Eddie inch closer, his breath fanning across the sensitive skin at the nape of your neck to send pleasant shivers down your spine, collecting right at your core to make arousal pool between your legs.
And when Eddie’s lips brushed over the spot at the top of your spine, the softest sigh spilled from your lips to float along the golden glow of the fairy lights.
You could feel him shift on the mattress behind you, sense the soft smile on his lips as he placed a second kiss on the spot below, curls tickling your back and breath ghosting across your skin like a caress of his own as he took his sweet time to grasp the zipper.
“You’re a tease, Eddie Munson,” you half-snickered, half-moaned as he placed a third kiss to the spot right between your shoulder-blades, the sensation of his soft lips on your skin sending warmth through your body, every single nerve ablaze and zoning in on his touches as you let your head fall back.
Eddie chuckled. With feigned shock, he crooned, “What, did you think I’d just shove up the dress and have my way with you? Nope. ‘M gonna worship my girl just like she deserves.
“Does that mean we can never have a quickie?”, you teased, and the sound of Eddie’s soft snicker travelled right along your spine to make your walls flutter with the need to finally feel him as he placed another lingering kiss to the spot between your shoulder blades.
“We’re never gonna need to have a quickie. We got all the time in the world.”
The sound of the zipper filled the air as Eddie slowly, so achingly slowly, pulled it down to open your dress, inch by inch, a string of kisses following in the zipper’s wake that made your back arch beneath the touch.
But before you could protest the slowness of the movement, beg for him to stop teasing, Eddie’s fingertips roamed down your side, before they dipped beneath the waistband of your panties.
“Oh god,” you groaned, head falling back against Eddie’s shoulder as he spread the wetness of your arousal, fingertips grazing the swollen nub of your clit, and you bucked your hips to meet his hand.
“That all for me?”, Eddie breathed, lips brushing over the side of your neck as his voice, laced with marvel, travelled through your body alongside the sizzling waves of pleasure as he let his fingers slowly swirl around your clit.
“One day,” you moaned softly, “You’ll stop asking this question and realize how fucking hot you are, Eddie.”
Your voice broke, shattering into another lewd moan when Eddie’s teeth grazed the spot right below your ear, where your pulse was thundering against his lips as his fingers danced over that sweet, sweet spot at the apex of your thigs, your hips rolling in tune with his movements to chase the friction of his fingers, the smooth, warm metal of his rings brushing against your skin as you reached over your shoulder to bury your fingers in his curls – but it wasn’t enough.
“I need you,” you murmured, “Now.”
With a soft chuckle, Eddie hooked his thumbs into the waistband of your panties to help you pull them off, but you didn’t want to wait a single second longer.
With deft hands, you reached down and ripped them away, the sound of tearing silk filling the air as you turned to straddle Eddie, a giggle spilling from your lips at the sight of his stunned expression, umber eyes wide with surprise as his lips tucked into a disbelieving grin.
“Can’t take all my panties on the run with me, anyways,” you grinned.
“What the fuck, how many panties do you have?”
“Enough to tear a few more to shreds.”
Eddie’s quiet laugh faded into the space between you, so close that you could feel his breath prickling on your lips as you reached down to pull the glittering dress over your head.
The warm air inside the van-turned-home kissed your skin as you discarded the garment beside Eddie’s band shirt.
“You’re so fucking beautiful it still takes my breath away every time,” Eddie whispered, placing a kiss on the tip of your nose as his hands gently wandered over your breasts, the caress beautifully innocent as his wide eyes locked on yours.
The fairy lights above were reflecting in the seas of black of his dilated pupils like a sea of tiny stars, painting streaks of gold into his dark lashes as he watched you reverently.
He was nearly close enough for his heart to flutter against your own.
“Kiss me,” you whispered.
Eddie was more than happy to comply.
As you shifted on his lap, his tip dragging over your folds with the movement to cause the glowing sensation of pleasure to flare in your belly again, Eddie’s kisses were sweet as maple syrup, slow and passionate, his tongue swirling across your bottom lip as you aligned yourself with him.
And with the loveliest moan spilling from his lips into the open-mouthed kiss, you sunk onto him, burying him deep in your core, drowning in the bliss of being as close to him as humanly possible.
No matter how much you craved our release, you stayed like this for a few heartbeats, kissing, simply relishing the feeling of each other as your bodies melted into each other, linked the same way as your souls while the world around you, the rips in the ground and the spores in the air, the final battle still ahead somewhere on the horizon, faded, drowned out by the duet of your hearts beating in perfect synchrony, their wild tune quickening as you shuffled closer, your chest pressed flush against Eddie’s.
You could feel the rise and fall of his chest with every breath, the pattern of scars pressing against your skin, the warmth of him as he shifted his hips a little, burrowing himself deeper in your core and dragging a blissed-out groan from the back of your throat.
You’d never get enough of this feeling.
Of him.
One of Eddie’s hands settled on the back of your head to deepen the kiss as you adjusted to him, his fingertips tracing your spine down to your shoulder blades and back up again as his other hand caressed your side, leaving goosebumps in his wake.
“I love you,” Eddie whispered in-between kisses. “I love you so much, monster slayer.”
“I love you, too,” you breathed, starting to slowly roll your hips against his. “I will always, always love you, Eddie Munson.”
[Friday, September 12th, 1986.
Six Days Later.]
“Hey there, fair maiden.”
The voice was soft, barely audible over the roar of the waves, and your head snapped up as Eddie slowly sat in the sand beside you, the water swirling around his bare feet.
“I woke up at the ass-crack of dawn and you were gone,” he said softly, nudging his shoulder against yours, “Thought I’d find you here. Didn’t think I’d find you sobbing, though.”
The lightheartedness in his voice couldn’t conceal the worry simmering beneath as his umber eyes found yours in the half-light of the sunrise.
“Happy tears,” you whispered.
Eddie cocked an eyebrow.
Your tiny smile grew into a full-blown grin as you reached out to tug a few of the stray curls the ocean breeze had blown into his face back behind his ear.
“Happy tears. I promise those are happy tears.”
It was the truth.
“No nightmares tonight,” you added softly, taking his hand in yours to play with the ends of the green silk ribbon tied around his wrist.
“No nightmares,” Eddie smiled. He’d told you how horrible the nights had been for him in those three months apart ever since he’d left Hawkins – and you’d understood. It had been the same for you.
But now, with him falling asleep beside you every night, his arms around you and the soft sounds of his breathing filling the air inside the van, his heartbeat thrumming against yours in a slow, steady rhythm, the nightmares started to lose their edge. Whenever you felt Eddie grew restless beside you, you pulled him into your arms, fingers carding through his curls to calm him before the nightmares could ever really reach him.
None of them would ever fully fade – not Eddie’s nightmares, and not your own.
But the monster’s teeth had been pulled out by each other’s presence.
And no matter what your mind showed you in your sleep sometimes…as long as Eddie was beside you when your eyes flew open, everything was good.
“I’m happy,” you said softly, resting your cheek against his shoulder.
And you meant it.
He smelled of sleep and warmth, the faintest traces of cigarettes and cheap cologne, and the salt of the ocean. It was as if Eddie’s curls were soaking up the scent of the Californian air. Salt and sunshine and wind.
“So am I,” Eddie whispered, resting his cheek against the crown of your head.
“Is that wrong?”
“To be happy?”
“Yeah. I mean, Hawkins is ripped apart. Vecna is out there, licking his wounds. He’s not gone. But still…I know they’ll always be able to reach us.” Dustin had given the two of you his walkie when you’d parted ways with your friends right before dusk after the night of your little prom.
You’d all danced and laughed together that night after Eddie and you had joined the others at the cabin, ruffled and flustered, but apart from a knowing smirk from Robin and Nance and a sigh from Steve, none of them had commented on it. You’d all shared stories with Eddie from the previous years, the happier stories. His favorite had probably been that of Dustin accidentally adopting a baby-Demogorgon, the anecdote having made Steve groan in exasperation. It might be your favorite story, too.
And when the time had come to say good-bye, the tear-stained faces of your friends matching your own, you’d all known it wasn’t a forever-goodbye. No matter when Eddie’s name would be cleared, you would never return to Hawkins. But you’d see them again.
For now, they were safe.
And if the tides turned…Eddie and you would return for one final battle.
And this time, win.
You knew it with all your heart.
“It’s never wrong to be happy, sweetheart,” Eddie breathed, placing a kiss on the crown of your head. “The happy was what saved us from Vecna. So…we’ll collect it. Like polaroids in an album. And no matter how hard he might try, Vecna will be powerless against that. It’s our shield.”
His voice had taken on a solemn hue. You wondered whether that was his dungeon master voice. You loved it when he talked like that – and you were pretty sure Eddie himself never even realized that little shift.
Having been so caught up in your own musings, you let out a surprised little squeal when Eddie jumped up all of a sudden, water splashing around him as he gave you the most radiant grin while he extended his hand towards you as he sank into a deep bow.
“May I have this dance, my lady?”
You giggled. “To what music, my lord?”, you teased as you placed your hand in his, watching his ringed fingers wrap around yours as he pulled you to your feet.
“I thought I was your songbird,” he grinned.
His beautiful umber eyes, sparkling with life and joy and love as they rested on yours, flashed as Eddie placed his hands on your hips, pulling you closer until your chest was pressed flush against his, heartbeat to heartbeat, resting his forehead against yours while your hands locked at the nape of his neck, fingertips tangling in his soft dark curls.
And with a smile on his lips, Eddie started to sing, his voice soft and low as it laced with the gentle sound of the waves, rising to a beautiful croon like a cresting wave.
“Woke up to the sound of pouring rain
The wind would whisper and I'd think of you And all the tears you cried – they called my name And when you needed me I came through.”
He guided you through the slow steps of the dance as he wove the song, the warm water of the ocean sloshing around your bare feet. “Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand Love letters in the sands - I remember you And through the sleepless nights, through every endless day I wanna hear you say, "I remember you."” You felt like your skin was aglow, the sunlight Eddie was putting into your chest warm and radiant, a flood of happiness – raw, unfiltered happiness – engulfing you as he led you through a little spin, nuzzling your nose as he pulled you back against him.
“We've had our share of hard times But that's the price we paid. And through it all we kept the promise that we made I swear you'll never be lonely.”
You wished there was a way to go back in time, to pull that frightened, haunted girl from the clearing that September night into your arms and tell her that everything would be okay. That there was love waiting for her, the kind of love she’d thought she’d never find – never deserve. “Woke up to the sound of pouring rain Washed away a dream of you But nothing else could ever take you away 'Cause you'll always be my dream come true Oh my darling, I love you.”
And a happy ending.
“Through all the sleepless nights, through every endless day I wanna hear you say, "I remember, I remember you!"”
“I love you, monster slayer,” Eddie whispered into the kiss.
Your hand settled on his chest, over his heartbeat, while you gazed into his beautiful umber eyes as the sun rose above the glittering waves on the horizon, painting a golden crown around Eddie’s dark curls and putting streaks of caramel into the strands.
“And I will always, always love you, Eddie Munson.”
There were more battles to fight, a war to win. A monster to slay, the most dangerous and powerful of them all.
But Eddie was here, the life back in his eyes.
And you knew, with all your heart, that it would stay there. That everything would be okay. It always would be.
You were the best team, after all.
The cheerleader and the freak.
The freak and the slut.
The monster slayer and her songbird.
--------------------------
Thank you so much for reading, and I hope the ending made you as happy as it did for me 🖤 With season 5, I might add a chapter - or rather, a few - to Eddie and monster slayer’s story - but for now, this is the end of the main story. There will be bonus chapters, though, some of which I’ve plotted out already, but if there’s anything in particular you’d like to read within the world of Worlds Apart, requests for bonus chapters are open now! 🖤
#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x y/n#stranger things 4#stranger things eddie#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson imagine#stranger things#stranger things x you#stranger things 4 fix it#stranger things x reader#stranger things imagine#stranger things fanfic#joe quinn
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Puzzlefic Recs
These Days We Celebrate / Reconfiguration by Phoebeus
Original synopsis: “Originally a series of canon-compliant stories spanning the six month gap between the defeat of Pegasus and the arrival of Otogi, it now includes a branch-off story that changes the climax of the Millennium World arc and explores what would have happened if Atem had gotten his own body a month prior to leaving for Egypt. [Manga-canon, Puzzleshipping]”
Type: Series of oneshots + one multichap longfic
Word count: 300k+ altogether
Rating: G/T/E
Warnings: None
Status: Complete
Times read: 3 times for the whole series, at least 5 or 6 for Reconfiguration specifically
Standout characters/aspects: Yuugi's mom & Honda
Notes: The holy grail. The puzzle fic to end all puzzle fics. Nothing beats it. It aligns almost 98% with my personal headcanons, & the small things we disagree on are contextualized in a way that makes sense in the story. Yuugi's mom is iconic in this story, & my own interpretations of her lean heavily on her portrayal in this series.
Haunted House Sweet Home by InkFlavored
Original synopsis: “Yugi doesn't believe in ghosts. He never has and, up until now, he thought he never would. But when he moves into his new apartment, things start disappearing, doors start slamming, and an ancient crown has it out for him. He's forced to face reality: he's living in a haunted house. But will he be ‘living’ there for long?”
Type: Multichap longfic
Word count: 150k+
Rating: T
Warnings: Mention of eventual major character death, brief mention of eventual Yuugi/Atem/fem OC in final chapter
Status: Complete
Times read: Probably 3ish
Standout characters/aspects: Feriha (fem OC) has a very small part, but she is integrated in a well-thought-out manner & quite likable.
Notes: This fic takes a lot of normal aspects of ygo like “cursed object” and “troubled king” and gives them a new spin! Bonus points for writing an OC villain who works as well as Hazim does.
Egyptology Exercises / All This We Do in the Name of Ma’at by Nedjemet
Original synopsis: “My attempt at redoing Yu-Gi-Oh with a focus on character development, magic, and historical accuracy instead of card games. While this is technically a series, "All This We Do in the Name of Ma'at" functions as a standalone story. All of the other stories are just in-universe follow ups to show what the characters got up to after the story was over. These shorts largely function as stand alones, too, since Ma'at follows cannon very closely in the important ways. All of the stories are ordered loosely in terms of when they occured. You can read them in any order.
All of the Egyptology is heavily researched and I did my best to get it right. If something is off and you have a source, please send it my way!
All of the stuff in modern Japan has minimal research done and is more for flavor than anything else. I'm going for anime-level accuracy with that, not realism.”
Type: Multichap longfic + a couple of shorter multichap fics + bonus work diving into the Egyptology research used in the fics
Word count: 200k+ altogether
Rating: T/M/E
Warnings: None
Status: Complete
Times read: Twice for All This We Do in the Name of Ma’at, probably 5-6 times for the two sequel fics
Standout characters/aspects: Nedjemet’s research on the Egyptology aspects is very impressive
Notes: Really good! The main fic is quite plot & research heavy tho, so I find myself revisiting the two shorter follow-up fics more often. More fluff than substance for me.
The Last Puzzle by Tenderwulf
Original synopsis: “11 years after the Ceremonial Duel, Atem and Bakura inexplicably find themselves back in Domino. When they meet their previous hosts, they realize how much things have changed: Yuugi, the now world-renowned King of Games, is going through a marriage crisis, Ryou is struggling to balance studies, work, and his brittle mental health, and Malik... well, Malik is living his best life—and his own yami is nowhere to be seen.
They soon realize they all have to work together in order to solve the mystery of the yamis’ return: some to make sure that they stay, and some to make sure that they don't.”
Type: Multichap longfic
Word count: 300k+
Rating: T
Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence
Status: Ongoing
Other ships: Tendershipping [Bakura Ryou/Yami Bakura], past Peachshipping [Mazaki Anzu/Mutou Yuugi]
Times read: 1
Standout characters/aspects: Yami Bakura’s character development is stellar.
Notes: Very good, altho I confess that I’m slightly more interested in the puzzle storyline than the tender story (which happens to be the main plot lol). Very much worth reading.
Keep the Light Shining by Clydeside
Original synopsis: “Yugi's new job as a lighthouse keeper sounds simple enough... until he realizes he's not entirely alone on the remote island: a dark spirit haunts Crawford Sound.
It lingers like a shadow in the night.
It watches, and it waits.
The past keepers warned of an inescapable terror, but as the days turn into weeks, Yugi begins to think it's not the ghost he ought to fear.”
Type: Multichap longfic
Word count: 50k+
Rating: M
Warnings: Major character death (Atem is already a ghost)
Status: Complete
Times read: 3
Standout characters/aspects: Worldbuilding!!!! This story is so gorgeously atmospheric
Notes: Please please please read Keep the Light Shining, it’s so good. The horror aspects combined with the romance and mystery aspects are so well-balanced.
Lineament by Zuzeca
Original synopsis: “Once seven, now three. A broken Pendant, a crumbling empire, and tugging at the seams of reality, hints of a sinister power returning. His faith in destiny strained past breaking, newly-crowned-and-deposed Pharaoh Set makes the questionable decision to try and solve the Millennium Puzzle with magic. As it goes with magic, his efforts are rewarded…but not quite in the way he expected.”
Type: Multichap longfic
Word count: 50k+
Rating: M
Warnings: Major character death (Ghost Atem again)
Status: Complete
Other ships: Logicshipping [Priestess Isis/Priest Seto]
Times read: 3
Standout characters/aspects: Set & Isis are very interesting & well-developed characters here.
Notes: Really interesting twist on the whole series. Somewhat of a time travel fic, but in a much more satisfying and less cheesy way than most.
Snake Charmer by InkFlavored
Original synopsis: “Prompts: ‘Wow, my pet snake looks so cute this morning and I’d be even happier if I actually had a pet snake.’ & ‘You curse under your breath in a foreign language and I know I shouldn’t be turned on but I totally am.’
Type: Oneshot
Word count: 20k+
Rating: T
Warnings: None
Status: Complete
Times read: 5
Standout characters/aspects: Osiris the snake is an icon
Notes: 100% fluff. Cute snake. Utterly delightful.
Cut Off / Whiskey, No Chaser by InkFlavored
Original synopsis: “Few people choose a day during the week to drink away their problems at a bar downtown. Most people wait until the weekend, content to simmer with their issues until Friday. Others do it at home with friends, and without worrying about how they're supposed to get home in time for work in the morning. All in all, it's rare that someone walks into a bar on a weeknight at ten-thirty to start drinking.
But that's exactly what happened to Atem.”
Type: Two multichap longfics
Word count: 100k+ combined
Rating: T
Warnings: None
Status: Complete
Other ships: Past rivalshipping [Mutou Yuugi/Kaiba Seto]
Times read: 2
Standout characters/aspects: Great way of showing how Atem becomes part of the friend group
Notes: It’s cute! Not InkFlavored’s best work, but all of their stuff is worth reading.
Macchiato Incommunicado by InkFlavored
Original synopsis: “Prompt: ‘my favorite coffee shop is closed for the day so i have to find somewhere else where i can get my overly-advanced pretentious order and i found the place where you work and now i never use the other place anymore because even though you always serve my drink with a “what the fuck has normal coffee ever done to you”-sigh you're really cute and i'd like to go out with you.’
Type: Oneshot
Word count: 15k+
Rating: T
Warnings: None
Status: Complete
Times read: 3
Standout characters/aspects: Points to everyone else in this fic for putting up with Yuugi & Atem’s stupid bullshit.
Notes: Pretty good interpretation of the dreaded miscommunication plot and the cliché coffee shop AU.
The First Leaves That Fall by Clydeside
Original synopsis: “When Yugi arrives in Yubari to settle the last of his grandfather’s affairs, he finds a mountain village in quiet decline. Most people have left for the city, buildings are crumbling, and nature grows dense and wild against its outskirts.
But among those who remain, superstition abounds, and they all offer the same advice:
Stay out of the forest.
Yugi, however, is intrigued. By the puzzle of its shifting paths. The riddle of a wind that speaks, if he listens.
And, perhaps most of all, by the stranger who always shows him the way out before dark.
Or: Yugi falls hard for the local cryptid. Not everyone is cool about it.”
Type: Multichapter longfic
Word count: 40k+
Rating: T
Warnings: None
Status: Ongoing
Times read: 1
Standout characters/aspects: Honda & Miho are really great friends, and bonus points for local Shinto priest Bakura, who is as ominous and strange as ever.
Notes: I love this fic!!!! Again, Clyde is the best at writing spooky & atmospheric stories. I can’t wait to see what really happened in Yubari to make the nature spirits (including Atem) so angry.
Chained to You by SajiSpellhart
Original synopsis: “Taking place after the events of Season Zero, all the shadow games happened but Yugi never found out he was possessed by the spirit of the puzzle. Now he's an adult, living on his own, and he starts to notice strange and spooky things happening around his apartment. When he sees his own shadow moving Yugi begins to suspect his new place is haunted. But is this shadow spirit malicious or... kinda sweet?
Yami does a bunch of stupidly sweet domestic shit for Yugi to help take care of him. Expect romance, fluff, self-care, and Puzzleshipping shenanigans.”
Type: Multichapter longfic
Word count: 100k+
Rating: T
Warnings: None
Status: Ongoing
Times read: 1
Standout characters/aspects: Yami is incredibly cute in this fic.
Notes: Really interesting AU where Yuugi never finds out about Atem as a high schooler, and so Season 0-esque shenanigans continue into adulthood.
He Has a Heartbeat by Kaibbage
Original synopsis: “Atem is back, and this time he's living and tangible. As such, Yugi cannot stop touching him - and vice versa.”
Type: Oneshot
Word count: 3k
Rating: E
Warnings: None
Status: Complete
Times read: 10 at least
Standout characters/aspects:
Notes: So cute!!! One of the best Atem Comes Back oneshots out there. Very sweet short little PWP.
Superimposed / Bird Rock Lambchop (Bird Bigger Bird) by Toffeecape
Original synopsis: “Yugi wants his other self to have nice things.”
Type: Series of oneshots + short multichaptered fics
Word count: 70k+ combined
Rating: E/M
Warnings: Some installments mention major character death (but with the caveat that the characters cross over to the Egyptian afterlife), most have no warnings
Status: Complete
Times read: Superimposed probably like 5 times, whole series twice
Standout characters/aspects: Love Yuugi’s urge to provide for Atem, very sweet. I also love the chapter of Like a Stone into a Pond that focuses on Yuugi’s mom’s relationship with Atem.
Notes: This series is sort of YMMV for me. To be entirely honest, the smut gets a little too weird for me in a lot of installments, so I don’t revisit it too often, but the first installment is definitely my favorite, and I love seeing the intimacy between Yuugi & Atem grow while they’re still sharing a body. The 4th installment is my other favorite, as it focuses less on smut and more on character interactions.
Phantom Limb by Killdoll
Original synopsis: “In the hospital after the fire where Yuugi reassembled the Millennium Puzzle, Yuugi and his Other Self have a heart-to-heart.
(Puzzleshipping, set during anime canon, attempted ghost cuddling.)”
Type: Oneshot
Word count: 3k
Rating: T
Warnings: None
Status: Complete
Times read: 5+
Standout characters/aspects: Really great characterization
Notes: Very sweet examination of the aftermath of (the anime version of) the fire.
Pieces of Puzzleshipping by Phoebeus
Original synopsis: “Originally this was where all of my tumblr prompts and random ficlets would come to live, but it's quickly become home to all of my random puzzleshipping fluff, instead. We shall acknowledge it as such until at least one other ship invades!”
Type: Oneshot collection
Word count: 17k+ combined
Rating: E
Warnings: Author Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings (I don’t remember anything too triggering in these oneshots besides a safeword use that is immediately respected in chapter 10)
Status: Complete
Times read: 2-3
Standout characters/aspects: To be honest, I don’t remember these individual oneshots all that well, but I love all of Phoebeus’ work.
Notes: Bite-sized and enjoyable fluff!
Getting Rivalzoned (and Learning to Live with It) by Oogenesis
Original synopsis: “Finding out that your best and closest and most infuriatingly attractive rival has come back to life is one thing.
Finding out that he and his former vessel have eyes only for each other - well, that's quite a different matter.”
Type: Short multichapter
Word count: 8k
Rating: T
Warnings: None
Status: Unfinished (seems to be abandoned, but I recall the last chapter working fairly well as an ending, so it’s not too infuriating)
Other Ships: onesided Prideshipping [Atem/Kaiba Seto]
Times read: 3ish
Standout characters/aspects: Just so incredibly funny.
Notes: This is my ideal prideship scenario. Sorry, Kaiba.
Visiting Hours by Oogenesis
Original synopsis: “Kaiba, at Atem's insistence, finally brings Yugi along on one of his visits to the afterlife, and promptly regrets it.”
Type: Oneshot
Word count: 1.5k
Rating: T
Warnings: None (possible major character death as Atem has already crossed over to the afterlife)
Status: Complete
Other Ships: One-sided prideshipping [Atem/Kaiba Seto]
Times read: 5ish at least
Standout characters/aspects: Same as the previous fic, just so funny to see Kaiba so deeply jealous while being completely ignored.
Notes: Love how excited to see each other Yuugi & Atem are.
Ours, Not Mine by MagiMevi
Original synopsis: “The spirit found such ease and amusement in simply perusing Yugi's daily memories, and Yugi no longer wanted to just share them with him. He wanted to make them with him – he wanted the spirit to create new memories – he didn't want to just amuse the spirit with the passing fibres of his life – he just – he wanted -
Don't worry about it, partner.”
Type: Oneshot
Word count: 5k
Rating: T
Warnings: None
Status: Complete
Times read: 2-3
Standout characters/aspects: Great exploration of Yuugi’s character
Notes: Yuugi scheming like hell to try to get Atem to live & enjoy himself while in the puzzle is one of my favorite tropes, 10/10.
Take Him (Cut Him Out in Little Stars) by InkFlavored
Original synopsis: “Most people think of light and silence as comforting things. To Yugi, they're anything but. Atem's mind is tearing itself to pieces and no one understands.
PuzzleJune 2019 (Week 3: Light)”
Type: Oneshot
Word count: 5k
Rating: G
Warnings: Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings (Major character death canon to the end of the manga)
Status: Complete
Times read: 5+
Standout characters/aspects: I love Atem’s talk with Akhenamkhanen.
Notes: Definitely one of the most influential Atem comes back fics to my own work! It’s fabulous, 10/10.
The Seldom Seen by Clydeside
Original synopsis: “Yugi’s soul has gone missing after reassembling the Millennium Puzzle in the fire, leaving the Other Yugi to fill his place.
As he tries to hide the truth from Yugi’s friends and family, he searches for his partner and the scattered pieces of his soul. But without Yugi at his side, he is losing control of the Puzzle’s power over the shadow realm… and the creature it contains.”
Type: Mid-length multichapter
Word count: 45k
Rating: T
Warnings: Major character death (albeit tagged as “only sort of permanent”)
Status: Complete
Times read: 3
Standout characters/aspects: Angst!
Notes: I love any fic that examines Atem’s relationships (or lack thereof) with Yuugi’s friends and family.
Jolly Sailor Bold / Shellfish Tendencies by Kudalyn
Original synopsis: “‘The seas sing for those who are lost, and for those who find as well.’
Atem is a siren/merman and Yugi is a ghost haunting a sunken ship Atem comes across. Atem is intrigued by the ghost, hangs around enough that they start to get to know each other, getting attached, and falling for each other over time. But Yugi’s memories start to fade, as ghosts don’t get to stay forever on the living plane, and Atem has to deal with this loss.
My entry for the YGO Big Bang 2018!
Content Warning of character death and mourning, with reward at the end if you stick through it ;)”
Type: Series of two oneshots
Word count: 15k+ combined
Rating: M
Warnings: Major character death (sort of temporary? It’s complicated lol)
Status: Complete
Times read: 3ish
Standout characters/aspects: Honestly really interesting implications about the origins of mermaids……….
Notes: Super fun twist on a mermaid AU.
Untitled Puzzleshipping Doujinshi by Kaluda
Original synopsis: “This is a doujin I made in 2019 that I decided to post here as well. Inspired by the end of the Dark Side of Dimensions film.”
Type: Short comic
Word count: N/A?
Rating: Unrated (I would say G)
Warnings: None (Major character death canon to manga/anime)
Status: Complete
Times read: 3ish
Standout characters/aspects: Such cute art!!!!!!
Notes: Rare comic example, but it’s posted on ao3, so I’m counting it as a fic. It’s really very sweet & short, go check it out!
Angle of Approach by InkFlavored
Original synopsis: “Definition: (in golf) the angle at which the club head strikes the ball. This affects the trajectory the ball will travel and spin.
The only thing Atem hates more than his family’s annual summer vacation is the “family” part. A whole three months away from home, away from friends, and away from freedom. This year, he’s nearly resigned himself to the worst trip he’s ever been on, surrounded by people he couldn’t care less about.
Then he meets Yugi, and decides to make his own fun.”
Type: Multichap longfic
Word count: 130k+
Rating: E
Warnings: No archive warnings apply, general warning for emotional and slight physical abuse by parents, and definitely warning for workplace sexual harassment
Status: Ongoing (Unfinished? Abandoned??? I sure hope not)
Times read: 2
Standout characters/aspects: Yugi is phenomenal in this AU. I’m obsessed with him.
Notes: I love this fic!!!! I usually don’t like fics where Atem is an asshole, but apparently it’s fine if he’s a bottom lmao. Anyway I love seeing Atem very very slowly become a better person against his will, and I’m really hoping Ink_Flavored is still working on this fic. It’s one of my favorite ongoing works.
Dress Up Game by InkFlavored
Original synopsis: “The Mutou family, including the newly resurrected Atem, get invited to a wedding. Neither Yugi nor Atem have anything to wear to the event, but it’s not a big deal. All they have to do is go shopping to pick something out. How bad could it possibly be?”
Type: Two chapter fic
Word count: 25k+
Rating: T
Warnings: None
Status: Complete
Times read: 3
Standout characters/aspects: Really great attention to detail about Japanese culture. Taught me a lot about traditional Japanese weddings!
Notes: This fic is so cute! Really nice fic that focuses on Atem living life after coming back from the dead.
Await Red to Become Anthracite by Zigur_zig_ah
Original synopsis: “Yuugi, security guard un-extraordinaire, leads a particularly mundane life. He sits in front of a monitor for eight hours a cycle, pretends to concern himself with the safety of five-hundred and thirty-nine Roman coins of no value whatsoever, and occasionally, when work is especially slow, occupies the unenviable position of Duel Monsters champion of the known universe.
But something stalks the perpetual darkness of Proxima-b. A horror from beyond the grave, loosed in a moment of carelessness, has set its hollow, empty sights on Yuugi - and Yuugi, try as he might, can't seem to stay away from it.”
Type: Medium length multichapter fic
Word count: 30k
Rating: M
Warnings: Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings
Status: Complete
Times read: 1
Standout characters/aspects: Really fun combination of futuristic sci-fi, horror, canon, and ancient Egypt?
Notes: A bit less romance-y than plot-centered, but the way the story unfolds is really fascinating.
Hindsight by Cloudsmachinations
Original synopsis: “Yugi needs to wear glasses. Atem needs to calm the hell down.”
Type: Oneshot
Word count: 2.5k
Rating: T
Warnings: None
Status: Complete
Times read: 3ish
Standout characters/aspects: I love an Atem that is down bad
Notes: So cute tbh
#aka: a rec list for anyone who hates dom atem as much as i do lmao 😅😅#a lot of these are pretty obvious/popular already eg anything by clyde/inkflavored/phoebeus but hey#it's my list & i'm in charge#morgan rambles#my ramblings#yugioh#ygo#yugioh duel monsters#mutou yugi#mutou yuugi#puzzleshipping#atem#yami yugi#blindshipping#fic recs#rec list#yugi mutou#yuugi mutou#yugioh dm
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Ko-Fi prompt from @kayasurin:
Economy topic - Trickle Down Economics, why they work/don't work
HI it's been two months since I got this prompt, so. Sorry about that. been a lot going on in my personal life, so let's hope this makes up for the wait.
(To anyone who was considering doing a ko-fi prompt... I promise to get to them, but I cannot promise a reasonable time frame, sorry.)
So, Trickle-down economics, and if they work.
Short answer: They absolutely don't.
Longer answer that you actually paid for:
Trickle-down is basically a propaganda-driven hustle that rich people run against the working class. It's an economic theory that is known to not function, but since it serves the people up top to keep pushing it, we still have to deal with people pretending it's a real thing.
The basic concept of it is that if the capitalists at the top are allowed to retain more money (less taxes), then that money will naturally find its way lower down the pyramid through natural market forces. If a wealthy individual is allowed to keep an extra 50% of their marginal income, then the bulk of that 50% will go into their businesses, reinvested to generate more wealth by purchasing new equipment, running R&D, and paying more money to more workers. By not paying the taxes, they wealthiest classes can direct their money as they see fit, so really they don't end up with any more money than they would have if they paid their taxes!
As you can guess, this is not what actually happens in almost every possible application of the theory.
First, let's address the concept of marginal tax rates. They get a lot of hate, but I find this infographic explains the reality best:
(source: This post, but originally from Kasia Babis on The Nib/@thenib)
To summarize for those using a screen reader:
Let's say you earn 50k every year, and we're not going to bother with currency, because this is a simplified explanation. In this scenario, there is a national/federal income tax of approximately 20%. With that, you give 10k to the government, and retain 40k for your own purposes.
You have a neighbor who makes 500k every year. In this hypothetical, a marginal tax rate applies to earnings over 100k. The marginal tax rate is 70%. What does that mean for your neighbor?
They pay 20% on the 100k, which is 20k. Then they pay 70% on the remaining 400k, which is 280k. Combining the base tax and marginal, they are taxed 300k. At the end of the day, they are left with 200k. The total tax on their income is 60%. If you're following along, you can tell that regardless of the final percentage, anyone that the marginal tax applies to is always going to get to keep at least 80k, the amount left of the pay that is taxed at the base rate.
The more you earn, the more you are taxed. Again, this is super simplified, but this is the most basic way marginal taxation works. (Tax brackets are related but not entirely the same thing.)
With a marginal tax, exorbitant wealth is curtailed by forcing that wealth back into the system. The understanding is that nobody can actually perform hundreds of times more labor than their lowest-paid worker, and so all that surplus income was in some way not distributed properly. They get to keep enough to live on, quite comfortably, but not all of it.
There may be some companies that are willing to cap their highest wages in relation to their lowest, but those are far and few between. There's a reason the average ratio of CEO to entry level worker in the US is nearly 400:1... up from 1965's 20:1. (source)
Trickle-down theorizes that, if allowed to keep that exorbitant wealth, the Capitalists will distribute that wealth back to their workers or reinvest it into productive enterprise, and do so in response to market forces or out of fear of a return of the marginal tax.
This is not what happens, basically ever. People do not earn that much money if they are already paying a living wage and distributing wealth properly. You cannot get exorbitantly wealthy through anything other than wage theft, system abuse, or capital-based market manipulation (see: hedge funds, housing market).
I suppose you could inherit the money, or win the lottery, but the latter is actually taxed higher than the former, believe it or not. The United States federal government doesn't have an inheritance tax, and most states also don't. There might be various legal fees and such, but not any actual taxes.
Where we end up is that those taxes the rich don't have to pay go instead towards 'passive income' schemes and market manipulation like the housing market.
(That is an entire separate rant, but yeah, most of the housing market at that income bracket is, to some degree, deliberately manipulated by those involved in it. We are all 100% watching for that bubble burst that is inevitably heading our way.)
The wealth does not trickle down to the workers. It is guided by those who have it, and they are significantly more likely to put it in foreign bank accounts, liquid assets, and real estate that they hope will gain value for a capital gain at sale.
Trickle-down economics relies on the goodwill of the wealthy, but almost nobody gets that wealthy by having goodwill to spare.
(Prompt me on ko-fi!)
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i’ve got a question about your writing process: in order to write a 30 year narrative, you create it out of hundreds of individual moments & actions, and each one has to function by itself and also part of a whole—have truth to itself and emotional resonance in a timeline. imo the key to doing this successfully is to care about each moment and make each one memorable, which seems very difficult: you have to get at the meat of the human behavior, believably, in a way that matters and explains and progresses the story, every time. and to write 200k words of it you do it hundreds of times! could you talk a bit about idea generation for each moment and how you brainstorm and write them?
omg an excuse to make more diagrams ! Thank you so much for this lovely ask!
okay: in case you don’t want to scroll through like four/five months of my inane icemav Poasting, I’ve done a couple other posts that go into my process — here about specifically chapter 1 and here about the fatal flaw of my fics from a construction standpoint
but from an idea generation standpoint… it’s pretty boring and cynical. I literally just make checklists. “things that HAVE to happen.” here’s my notes app check list of stuff that HAD to happen for the story to make sense in my rewrite of what is now chapters 8 & 9. this is from last december lol
and here’s a checklist/diagram of the major story beats and the changes in relationship dynamics throughout the story. any one of these dynamics changing reflects on the others in a way that‘s worth talking about. the hard part is finding a framing device or scene to talk about them.
the A plot of the fic is ice’s relationship with the navy, primarily. his arc is defined by his rank. so that’s the number 1 dynamic I wanted to focus on in such-and-such scenes, and why I stuck as stringently as possible to the “one rank per chapter” formula until ice got to the top & had to reckon with what being at the top actually means. His change in ranks is inspiration enough for most scenes because it shifts the dynamics in a way that is worth remarking upon in and of itself.
as an example im thinking of this scene (mostly because it’s short but also) because i think it’s kind of representative of how my idea generation process works
It fills a lot of gaps that i needed filled at that specific juncture in the story. the idea started with a stupid little section of dialogue in my head (mav would be surprised that ice’s official Navy docusign signature isn’t his actual signature) that happened to be symbolically relevant too (of course ice would have two different signatures for his two different personas). Then it morphed into a discussion of Ice’s canonically unhappy-looking compacflt portrait, which is canonically unhappy-looking. Then add onto that ice admitting he’s only happy at home (home obviously meaning with maverick, given that he’s literally in his house right now and still doesn’t feel like he’s home) and maverick telling him, “well that’s a problem that has literally the easiest fix in the world. youre making this way more complicated than it needs to be. just come home to me.”
so it’s literally just checking off boxes of things I wanted to talk about. as I said, a very cynical creation process. ✅ ice and mav doing the long-distance-relationship phone call thing (framing device for the whole scene). ✅ mav knowing ice’s real vs fake signature ❤️. ✅ ice’s canon unhappy compacflt portrait that makes an appearance in TGM. ✅ ice not feeling at home in Hawaii. ✅ ice not being fulfilled by the job & only being fulfilled by mav. ✅ ice coming up with excuses to see mav at any possible chance he gets. ✅ ice still obviously thinking of mav and Bradley as his family & maverick as his home. Etc etc. You see what i mean? how many stupid little ideas, symbols, and dynamic shifts can i cram into a page or so? that’s pretty much my thinking.
#btw i was out with my friends when i got ur comment on ao3 and it literally made me burst into tears in public so thanks#apartment should be house or residence and drivers license should be DOD ID card#no way the compacflt lives in an apartment on ford island. not possible#also when i wrote ‘it’s not my job to be happy in pictures Pete’ i was kicking my feet and giggling like a little girl#it is actually a huge part of his job to look happy in pictures LMFAO#or at least content with proceedings#but that doesn’t fit the debbie downer narrative!!#top gun#top gun maverick#edts notes#pete maverick mitchell#tom iceman kazansky#icemav#asks#the extras I’m working on are similarly stupid wrt original ideas#Ice & mav celebrate Xmas!!! then turns into like a whole big angst fest#all my ideas start small!#theyre just framing devices for what I want to say
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Tagged by the lovely @gaiaseyes451! Thanks for the tag, needed a distraction this morning!
How many works do you have on ao3?
24
What's your total ao3 word count?
320,239 minus about 118k which was the big collaborative fic, that's still over 200k which is bonkers considering I've only been posting to AO3 for about ten months!!!
What fandoms do you write for?
Good Omens! But in the past, and not on AO3, it was Glee, before that Doctor Who, and before that, high school days, it was Alias and Farscape...
Top five fics by kudos:
Esurient Designs: Crowley and Aziraphale go for a very long lunch. Crowley has a lot of fantasies. I cannot believe this is my top fic... it was meant to be a couple of throw away lines between parts of my 'figuring their shit out' series but then I wanted to write all the food and Crowley's mind...
Pulled: Follows directly from Esurient Designs and is the entire point I started writing at all. The idea being to work them through their communication issues and get them to some good old fashioned sex! 32k words detailing exactly how that sex goes. It goes well.
Precarious, But Worth It: My first oneshot, written while I was making my way through the main series, because I just really, really wanted to write them taking a shortcut to fucking. From memory it's just yelling their feelings and then handjobs and frotting against the desk, but it's mine and people clearly are still finding it and enjoying!
The First One That's Right: The one that started it all. The very first thing I wrote and it just poured out of me and set up a seven part series (that became a ten part series) detailing all their kisses. Love that this is in my top five because it's not smut, just kissing!
Suddenly, Eagerly: My second oneshot, also written while I was writing the kissing series because I, again, wanted a short cut to the sexy times. This one is a bit more stressed/relieved fucking. With a lot of miracles to speed things along.
Do you respond to comments?
Yes, I try really hard to but I usually feel like I'm just yelling THANK YOU incoherently at people. And sometimes it does take me ages, especially when it's a really lovely comment because I am just too overwhelmed to know what to say.
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I really, really don't do angsty endings. Like, ever. I guess you could say Esurient Designs, just because Crowley's on a journey and not really 'there' yet. Or A Bathhouse Pretense just because they're not together at the end of it... and I almost always have them together. Everything else is pretty sweet.
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
All of them!! Honestly, they all seem equally happy and promising, that's a huge part of why I write at all! If I had to pick one, maybe Four Speed Manual Transmission because it's the beginning of the rest of their lives type vibes?
Do you get hate on fics?
Not in this fandom, not really! I've had a couple of interesting anons trying to lure me into top/bottom bullshit. And there are always a few comments on AO3 that are questionable, but nothing like I used to see during the Golden Years of Glee.
Do you write smut?
Almost exclusively. If I'm not writing smut, I'm writing something to lead to smut. But then I'm only writing the smut as a vehicle to pull apart their relationship and psychology (she tells herself).
Craziest crossover:
I struggle to fixate on one thing, I've never managed two!
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not in this fandom! But I know some of my short glee fics were repurposed for some anime thing and popped up on ff.net for a while there.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yeah, back in the Glee days again, this lovely woman translated several of my fics into Spanish!
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I did a lot of the orchestrating of Coming Home which was like 30+ authors, about 40 days of writing, and ended up with over 100 chapters/115k words. So that was enormous. Not your traditional collaboration though. I wrote some of my very best Doctor Who stuff co-writing with a woman I ended up meeting up with in New York! Recently collabed for a few others on birthday fic for Gleafer. And then there might be a new collab fic in the pipeline as well...
All time favorite ship?
Yeah I have to say Aziraphale/Crowley. Impossible to go past them at this point. But Ten/Rose and Klaine will always hold a special place ni my heart.
What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Oh I know I will never finish these two and that will haunt me forever. Both are for Alias, One called Escape got to 56k words and 27 chapters and hasn't been updated since May, 2004. The other is called True Lies, got to 98k words and 50 chapters and leaves off with the cliffhanger - "So, what exactly is the plan here?" in July of 2004. Sixteen year old me was a little shit.
What are your writing strengths?
I guess smut? The description bit, anyhow, and, I guess interweaving feelings and character development with the sex. I think I'm also pretty decent at voice, so long as I'm paying attention.
What are your writing weaknesses?
I worry a lot about how wordy I always end up being. Sometimes this is a good thing, but I know my writing isn't a lot of peoples cup of tea because it takes so long to read through the swamp to actually get to some sort of development. Because of this, my pacing can be pretty shit which has me panicking with a couple of multi-chapter things coming together, including one that really does need to have plot.
Thoughts on dialogue in another language?
I only speak english so I doubt I'd ever write dialogue in another language aside from a word or two here and there. In general I don't mind reading it, but I get that it can become tedious.
First fandom you wrote in?
Farscape! When I was 12 or 13. As far as I can tell that atrocity has been wiped from the internet...
Favorite fic you've written?
Tricky question. If Deer Fic ends up happening (and there is a decent 30k written) it will hopefully be there, because it'll be a proper, multi-chapter, plot-driven beast! But for now it's probably still the very first little fic I wrote, just because it was the gateway to everything that has come since! Or! Messily Eager & Eagerly Messy because it was an absolute blast to write, I do love a challenge, and I know it gave a bunch of people confusing feelings!
No pressure tagging and I know most of you will have already been tagged/done this but: @harlotofupdog, @cheeseplants @paperclipninja @sixbynine-da @wingsofopal
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Goodbye 2023!
This year feels like it's been long and somehow gone by in a flash. The last handful of months were stressful as hell but I'm settled in the new apartment and finding my new rhythm. I'm really looking forward to 2024!
So, what the hell did I do in 2023?
I wrote over 200k in fanfics.
I started Bite to Bruise and Don't Run over on the patreon.
I published Stargazing Underground, another sci-fi romance in my growing universe.
Jouska recorded some of my audioscripts! The sci-fi story and the halloween special.
I published a short steamy story, Ruby and the Wolf, in the same universe as Bite to Bruise aka the House of Teeth Series.
I finished and edited Don't Touch My Stuff (which I should have out early next year).
I outlined so many more projects...
Character art commissioned from the amazing @slushrottweiler
What am I planning to do in 2024?
Catch up on everything I've been behind on the last couple months.
More fanfics.
More audioscripts! And finding a way to put some of them out here for artists to record if they want to.
Finish and published Bite to Bruise.
Publish Don't Touch My Stuff (contemporary romance).
Finish the Cosmic and Stardust audioscript series.
Finish turning the Cosmic and Stardust script into a book (same universe as my other sci-fi stories, Defying Gravity Series).
Write more sci-fi romances. I have two more outlined and waiting.
Start Bite to Break after finishing Bite to Bruise.
Finish Don't Run. Oh god, the ending I have planned for that thing...
Start Don't Fall after finishing Don't Run. <3
Hope you have a great New Year! <3 <3 <3
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Health Hiatus Announcement
This is gonna be a long post, but a necessary one that has quite a bit of important info relating to the future of my creative works concerning the Adventures!AU series. First, look at this lovely new cover art for Off to a Great Start I had done by my bud Arven92 on DA. The title has changed to The Adventure Begins, but the main story within is the same.
The light reveals their true Alphian form (symbolic only, not a lore aspect) while their shadow shows their ultimate fate as a member of Clone Force 99/Bad Batch. The bookshelves are a key location (library), but the merge into woods represents how they're entering into a very real adventure that isn't just a fantasy they write into books. Really happy how it turned out ^^
Onto the main post!
TLDR: Adventures!AU is being drastically shortened for my sanity and physical health into two arcs (six books each) but most likely will cease full chapter uploads after arc one as I am tired af, I don’t want to be doing this series into my 50s, and I want to turn my focus back to my originals eventually. Next year will see postings of the series prologue, Anachronism, as well as hopefully the Remaster of Off to a Great Start/The Adventure Begins. I will still be very active on my discord, where some chapters of next year's stories have already been posted. But for my other story posting sites (aka Wattpad) all new Star Wars content is on hiatus until 2026.
Been wanting to make a big post for a while for the people who aren’t a part of the discord, especially since I’ve more or less dropped off the face of tumblr after it became unhealthy due to comparison eating me alive. If you like my work, you’re welcome to join the server which is dedicated to my works. I’m active in there a few times a week, and even post bi-weekly updates as to what I’ve been working on. And I’ve posted six chapters of remastered Off to a Great Start/The Adventure Begins complete with new scenes, new povs, and even more snark! Just message me for the link, I'm still wary of a stalker finding me again.
Now, for the meat of this update.
Y’all. I am just… dog dead tired. And stressed beyond belief. Some of it isn’t related to the Adventures!AU itself (job hunt, burnout from completing my Masters in May, ect), but a lot of it admittedly is. Considering I’ve written almost 500k words in just under 5 years, it’s no surprise. Some people don’t write that in a lifetime, and I’m out here doing that on top of college. Proud of myself for that.
What I’m not proud of, however, is ignoring my body’s warning signals and pushing myself past my limits not once, but twice. Once in 2022, and now again in 2024. Nothing major or genuinely life-altering, but when I say my health anxiety went off the rails. Been a rough few weeks lol.
But that leads me to now.
Adventures!AU. My series following the adventures of my self-insert as they become a member of Clone Force 99 back when it was just four members, with the added twist of it being in an alternate universe where the Star Wars universe has crossed over with my original stories. It’s not as big as non-self insert series, but Over the River and Through the Woods (which sits at a whopping 66 chapters and 200k+ words) once got #19 out of 60k in the ocs tag. The series has been going since April 2020, seeing four completed stories of various lengths and one WIP that sits at 21 chapters and 93k words.
Aside from the recently completed Fallen Not Forgotten, it’s been on hiatus since Dec of 2023. At least as far as chapter uploads go. It’s certainly not been collecting dust. To say it underwent some intense restructuring in July is an understatement. A big understatement.
I originally had seventeen books planned for the series as of three months ago, sectioned into four arcs with Anachronism kinda being a “prologue” to the main Adventures!AU series. Before this timeline is banished to the dream graveyard, I’m sharing it so y’all can at least see where it was gonna go. The four arcs would have had four books each, and were structured thus:
Bonds Forged Through Fire and Storm
Off to a Great Start (25 chapters)
Over the River and Through the Woods (66 chapters)
To the Far Reaches (66 chapters)
Welcome to War Games (25 chapters)
Into the Light Through Acts in the Dark
Commander, Meet the Cat (Remastered, 20 chapters)
Fallen Not Forgotten (Remastered, 20 chapters)
Risk vs Reward (20 chapters)
Bane of My Existence (20 chapters)
Wars of the Realms
Call of the Wild (20 chapters)
Convergence Hijinks (20 chapters)
Let’s See What You’re Really Made Of (20 chapters)
Anachronistic Adventures (20 chapters)
Decaying Dreams and Deadly Dances
Shadow in the Dark (40 chapters)
Murder Uncle Mayhem (40 chapters)
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished (40 chapters)
A Legacy in Question(40 chapters)
The plans I had for this series were intricate, deep, and would push many characters to their limits.
But turns out, it wasn’t just the characters pushed to their breaking point.
I got sick. A rather severe case of acid reflux that landed me in the docs office for the second time in two years. That started in mid-July, and I’m still dealing with it. Will probably be dealing with the sickness afterward for another month at least. But leading up to all that, I’ve been reflecting on the series as a whole and where exactly I want it to go, how I want it to end, and all that jazz.
Then I did a scheduling test in Excel using the above chapter load plus the 30 I had planned for Anachronism. Assuming two chapters a month with minimal breaks here and there, this series would finally end in 2050. That is by no means sustainable, and while I have had a lot of fun with this series and daydreaming about the different plotlines is a comfort activity, I can’t see myself writing these books for that long. I really want to publish my original stories some day, but I also won’t pretend that I’m not a bit tired of the series. At least, tired of pushing myself to work on stories that just don’t give the same rush of dopamine they used to. It’s almost a chore now to work on them, at least in the case of FNF.
Full disclosure, that story has been a problem child since day one. Actually, I’m pretty sure the stress of that story is what pushed me over the edge and caused the health issues in 2022 that sent me to the doc with acid reflux the first time. Messing with canon and trying to keep the timeline continuous (with timetravel in the mix too) was nothing short of infuriating. The trajectory changed so many times as I wrote it, which I sadly feel is evident in the story. It really seems like a disjointed mess. I’m just so disappointed how it turned out, but I was determined to at least finish it and not leave everyone on a cliffhanger. And I’m proud of myself for at least finishing it, even if I cut out at least four threads from the ending. It just wasn’t healthy to keep going.
Nor was it going to be healthy if I kept the series structured like I had it.
So, I took the steps to fix that.
Seventeen stories became twelve, four arcs became two. Some storylines were combined into one book (ex: Risk vs Reward and Bane of My Existence) while others (ex: Adventures!AU Batch meeting canon batch in Convergence Hijinks) were cut completely. I hated to lose some, but I’ve always been one to appreciate quality over quantity. Combining books and plotlines will help streamline things and make it more manageable. Some books also get new titles.
Arc one keeps its name, and will cover six books; Four main books then a prologue and epilogue of sorts. Anachronism, The Adventure Begins, Over the River and Through the Woods, To the Far Reaches, Welcome to War Games, and Moving Back to Look Forward. This arc covers Shadow’s initial fandom jump into the Tintin 2011 movie, their first mission with the Bad Batch, and them meeting the sailors again this time with the Batchers. Arc two will also keep its name and cover the entirety of the group’s interference of Star Wars the Clone Wars canon (rescuing Domino to taking down Palps), with a similar set up to arc one. Fallen Not Forgotten, Risk vs Reward, Level Up, Shadow in the Dark, No Good Deed Goes Unpunished, and A Legacy in Question.
But I know that even the shortening isn’t drastic enough. I feel only dread thinking about the series now, and that won’t do. So, though it kills me, Arc One will probably be the only arc that gets an official posting. Once Moving Back to Look Forward ends in 2030 (barring any major complications), that will be it for official full length postings of Adventures!AU. I’ll still post snippets and segments from arc two on Discord (like I do now occasionally), but MBtLF will end in a way that wraps everything up nicely. I’ll be sure to craft it so it can remain open ended to their adventures, but the current trajectory will see the “main” storyline with Shadow and the Batch, plus the Tintin sailors, close in arc one.
That’s the long term goal. So what’s short term?
Next year I plan to at least partially post Anachronism. That story has remained in the drafts for long enough. Yes, that means To the Far Reaches is backed up another year for posting (2026). That story has a lot of emotional moments, a lot of dealing with past trauma and relationship issues, and I just don’t have the spoons for that right now. For those intense moments, I have to crack myself open a bit and let my heart bleed onto the page. I’m not in a position to do that right now. Anachronism lacked that depth, being a bit more surface level than the stories with the Batchers. It’s got its own emotional moments, but it’s not nearly as taxing. Additionally, I’m going back through what was Off to a Great Start (now The Adventure Begins) and bringing it up to the standards I try to hold OtRaTtW and TtFR to. But I learned my lesson posting stories out of order so I’m going to get Anachronism finished so there’s no continuity issues.
That brings me to my next point; Adventures!AU canon.
I’ve already announced that the posted C,MtC and FNF are both non-canon and should not be taken as fact. You can still enjoy them (best you can with the crack-writing) but any continuity issues should be ignored as they are from an earlier draft of the Adventures!AU. Well, that decanonization treatment is extending beyond those two. The Adventure Begins, Over the River and Through the Woods, and To the Far Reaches aren’t non-canon per se, but rather some elements of the remastered versions may contradict the original postings. Going forward, the “truest” version will be those depicted in the works posted to Adventures!AU Remastered on Wattpad. The first story (The Adventure Begins) won’t drop there until at least November 2025 but you’re free to watch it in the meantime. It’ll sit dormant for quite a bit longer though. Nothing major will change in the stories, but I plan to add some extra scenes and tweak some minor details (the Batchers time in the galaxy is one big thing I’m looking at tweaking).
Let’s see. checks notes Yep, I think that covers everything! At least for now lol. I always have stuff to say, but this will probably be the last long update post for quite some time.
Thanks for hanging around, and for reading this long post lol.
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