#having random niche knowledge is fun
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Something I cannot recommend enough: picking up a random skill/knowledge just because
Learn to use chopsticks.
Get your weird retro friend to teach you to drive stick.
Take a class in crystallography.
Download Duolingo just to learn Klingon.
Figure out how to contact juggle with fruit.
Maybe it comes in useful. Maybe it’s a fun party trick. Maybe it keeps the depression at bay just a little longer because it’s something to do.
Get out there and go learn something!
#learn to crochet just to make an otopus#honestly this is mostly about#depression#having random niche knowledge is fun#and the buy in can be as big or small as you like#I can use chopsticks#drive stick#I have a CDL class B#and certificates in native studies and geology#I learned to ride a unicycle over the course of a summer#but you can start small#if that’s easier#mental health#hobbies
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Can you do slytherin boys head canons with ravenclaw reader who info dumps randomly
You're Smart || Slytherin Boys
type :: fluff
tw/cw :: none
contains :: draco, tom, mattheo, theodore, lorenzo
summary :: you have a habit of saying fun facts and explaining everything in great detail while they listen - it's not super ravenclaw based but u can imagine it :) THANK U FOR REQUESTINGG RAAAHHHH - 🐍 :: masterlist!
DRACO MALFOY
Hated it at first since it felt like you were trying to on up him
Would start to research more topics on his own to make sure you can't one up him on it
Turns this into a competition that's completely one sided for no reason LMAO
Stays up all night up just to learn the most niche and useless information of all time
But somehow, you always know more than him and beat him
Gets so frustrated by this because he can't stand not being the smartest know-it-all in the room
So he decides to try and make YOU seem stupid
Asks you super hard questions that no one could possibly know
But for some reason, you know it
This drives him even crazier cause he can't win LOL
But overtime, he grows to find it really useful and cute at times
He likes to see how passionate you are on different things
And he does like smart girls, so he starts to see it as a pro
TOM RIDDLE
Super annoyed by the fun facts and random info at the start
Mainly because he probably already knows it or he doesn't care for it
Because if he was interested, he would have searched it up already
So in his eyes, it seems like you're call him too lazy and dumb to want to search something up
So he tells you to shut up right away when he knows you're going to info dump
But sometimes, he genuinely doesn't know and he hates admitting that
He's super bad at social interactions, online culture, etc, so he does need help with those
But he's too egotistical to admit that
So he starts to just "ignore you" when you info dump
You'll explain the deep and complicated lore of Trisha Paytas and once you're done he'll say, "Huh? Oh I was spacing out."
But in reality, he was listening in depth and taking mental notes
So he starts to use this to his advantage since you do describe every very well
He starts to silently train you in a way
For example, he'll place a group of items in front of you, like a blue shirt next to a Slytherin hoodie
This will then remind you of Alvin and the Chipmunks so you dive into the deep lore of each actor
MATTHEO RIDDLE
Doesn't really care much at first since he's always been a bit dumber than other kids
He assumed everything you were saying was common knowledge and that he was just dumb
But when others start to mention how smart you are, he's surprised
He has a smart s/o :O
Well, he always knew that but to find out that you were smarter than a majority of people gave him a confidence boost
Starts to rely on you for every single question he has possible
Even if he knows the answer, he just wants to see if he's right
He likes it when you info dump to him
Surprisingly, he's a really good listener when it comes to you
Loves listening to you talk for hours on end
THEODORE NOTT
He's not much of a talker, so having you there to info dump on him is really amusing
You're like a walking podcast for him to listen to
Likes to ask you questions too so you can switch topics
He's super proud of seeing how smart you are
Theo is pretty smart, the smartest out of the Slytherin boy group at least (Which isn't that hard) (Tom doesn't count LOL)
So it's nice for him to finally talk to someone that doesn't ask dumb ass questions every 5 minutes
It's like switching his brain off so he can just listen to you talk and explain
It makes him feel safer with you to know that you're so smart and into so many things
He also loves it because it makes it so easy to buy you a gift since he knows exactly what you like :)
LORENZO BERKSHIRE
You're both kinda in the same boat which is amazing and bad
He's also into info dumping and telling you about the niche history he found out
But so are you, so you two end up clashing and having different ideas
Like for example, you were both info dumping about the brand new live actions Avatar the Last Air Bender and you both had drastically different thoughts
Lorenzo thought a lot of it was inaccurate but you were defending it with your life
But in the end, you both just shut up because you accidentally switch topics mid way
He loves asking you questions about niche topics so he doesn't have to research them himself
Likes listening to you talk while he eats
Sometimes he'll facetime you while he has dinner so he can listen to you talk
And sometimes he even calls you before bed so you can talk him to sleep :)
thank you for reading ! 🐍 :: masterlist!
#harry potter#slytherin boys#draco malfoy#draco malfoy x reader#tom riddle#tom riddle x reader#mattheo riddle#mattheo riddle x reader#theodore nott#theodore nott x reader#lorenzo berkshire#lorenzo berkshire x reader#harry potter x reader#slytherin#hogwarts#harry potter fluff#harry potter headcanon
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loser!ellie headcanons pt.6
summary: ellieeee my chiquitita my baby my love
warnings: none :3
authors note: ik yall missed herrrr
masterlist. help palestine.🇵🇸
- ellie tries to be soooo cool and wear her cool people jackets (leather jackets, canvas, those carhartt hoodie jackets etc) but they’re very not helpful against the cold and you’ll be out with her and shes just SHIVERING the whole time…
- she’s obsessed w those “general knowledge quizzes” on tiktok. that girl is a hoe for trivia she’s sitting on her bed at three in the morning saying her answers OUT LOUD while she watches them. she gets so upset when she gets literally any wrong… “man…im not a quiz master 🙁”
- ik in the games she walks around with her little journal and shit but i feel like shes definitely jus constantly typing shit in her notes app… random thoughts and jokes and shit that she most definitely shows you at the end of the day
- she barely ever baby talks to babies… she’ll go up to a baby and just be like “wassup dude” and have a full blown conversation with him while the babies just sitting there babbling and giggling at her
- thinks those “im nothing like yall” slideshows r so hilarious…. like you’ll be on the couch and she’s just giggling at her phone at paracetamol 😞
- references the most niche memes ever constantly and literally googles them to explain herself. you guys went camping and she said “boy you want hot dog” and you were like ????
- so strangely particular about how her stuff is arranged 😭 her desk looks like an absolute hot mess 90% of the time but SHE UNDERSTANDS IT and if u try and organize it for her she just puts it back how it was
- always says “guys” and “yall” when she’s talking to literally one person. and CHAT. she just constantly adds it into conversation like “chat how are you today”
- loves asking if things are “fire.” she’ll cook you something and you take a bite and shes like “is that shit fire???” she has to know
- obsessed with “i barely know her” jokes. the second someone says something ending in er shes like “rider??? i barely know her!!” and she’s laughing her ass off
- that girl will go HAM on some mac and cheese. but it can only be really good baked mac or the shitty kraft mac and cheese. she puts like- hella pepper and red chili flakes in it and eats it straight out of the pot 🔥 its always at like three in the morning and you just walk in the kitchen to her with a pot in her lap watching glee or some shit
- SPEAKING. OF. glee is most definitely one of her guilty pleasure shows…like shes rewatched it a million times and glee cast was one of her top artists on apple music wrapped
- shes an apple music user. send tweet.
- got yelled at by an old lady once cuz she picked her flowers out of her front yard and gave them to you
- when i tell you that girl goes ham on those tiny clementines… she’ll eat like 10 in one day and theres just PEELS. EVERYWHERE.
- also she fw grapes heavy. especially green grapes (shes a weird little freak red grapes are so much better)
- OBSESSED WITH THOSE BLIND BAG SHITS. especially mini brands oh my god she definitely has the whole lil grocery store set and she’s so obsessed with it.
- her house slippers are definitely just a pair of crocs with the fur inside and a bunch of stupid ass jibbits. she buys the mega packs off amazon and changes them whenever shes bored
- has SO MANY drafts on tiktok and they’re all her trying filters staring at the screen like 😯
- most annoying person to sleep next to ever . snoring, sleep talking, moving around CONSTANTLY and hitting you accidentally, the only way she sleeps peacefully is if you’re holding her or she’s holding you, otherwise shes insane
- weirdly into linguistics…that girl is using humongous words for no good reason just for fun and half the time she has no idea what they mean and when she googles them and shes right about the definition she does that little fist pump and “fuck yes”
- speaking of. that girl is SPEEDRUNNING DUOLINGO . she’s fluent in (bad spaniard) spanish from it, and just learns random languages for fun. you speak a different language? she’s learning it immediately. definitely leaves notes for you in random languages she learned and you have to pull out a translator to understand wtf shes talking about… she also sleep talks in spanish sometimes and its so funny
- loves trying out different recipes…like i said my girl is a CHEF she will be at home fucking up a salmon bake she made and making you homemade pho for dinner
- had a phase when she was younger when she was really into the la bamba movie and dressed like richie valens for two years
- also cried so hard when she watched selena with you…that girl was devastated 💔 every time she hears “dreaming of you” she almost sheds a tear
“when that yolanda bitch gets out of prison….im shooting someone . its obvious who its gonna be.”
- she definitely begged joel to buy her a gun for christmas and he would take her to the range all the time so she can SHOOT. that girl is goated at lazer tag she gets down…does not play
- thought that candy cigarettes were the coolest thing ever when she was little… everywhere she went she had one hanging out of the side of her mouth and shed hold them between her fingers like they do in movies. if you two go to a candy shop shes for sure buying a pack
#loser!ellie#ellie williams x reader#ellie x reader#ellie x y/n#ellie x fem reader#ellie x you#ellie williams#ellie williams x you#ellie the last of us#ellie tlou
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My dear lgbt+ kids,
I have always admired people who have their one thing. People who care deeply about one highly specific cause, people who have deep knowledge about their one niche interest, people who are really into one particular movie…
I just think it’s neat! It’s really interesting to hear people talk about their one thing. There’s also so much comfort in the fact that people can find so much happiness and meaning and purpose in something seemingly random!
Last but not least, it’s also often the people with their one thing who (pardon my language) get shit done. Someone who puts their whole heart into doing their one small thing passionately likely does much more good for the world than someone who tries to constantly give their attention to every single problem everywhere all the time simultaneously. The first one can keep their energy and love for the cause high, the latter probably just ends up burning themselves out.
… and yet, with all this genuine admiration for people like that: I often judge myself for being a person like that.
If you wonder what my one thing is, well, you’re looking at it! It’s writing about mental health and wellbeing in the lgbt+ community. I write this blog. I write books with main characters who are lgbt+ and mentally ill or neurodivergent. I do a lot of research on that topic to base my writing on ,and also just for fun. Even with the music or movies or books I enjoy, I seek out that topic or at least I’ll analyze it with that lens… So, according to my very own thoughts I stated above, I should feel like the coolest guy ever!
But I don’t. I feel embarrassed when people ask about my interests or hobbies. I feel guilty for it not being something you can „turn into a career“. I feel like I’m boring for writing 3 books about the same topic. I feel like I’m stupid for not having multiple passions. I feel like I need to prove my masculinity by having more „male interests“... long story short, I’m being a big old bully to myself about it.
You may be a „my one thing“ person as well or maybe you’re someone with many different interests, or maybe you are someone who has one thing but the thing changes every few weeks. No matter where you stand, we probably have this in common: we can be really mean towards ourselves over things we wouldn’t judge others for. This may be so common because it’s pretty easy to have a distorted perception of ourselves (after all, we notice every single little thing we think or do or say, while in others we see the bigger picture) or because so many grow up internalizing negative messages about ourselves(but not about others).
We set impossibly high standards for ourselves that we would never impose on our loved ones - but we should also be our own loved one. After all, you’ll be the person you spend the most time with during your life. Much better for your closest companion to be a friend than a foe.
So, in this spirit, I’ll try to lead by example: I have my one thing, and that’s super cool of me!! What’s cool about you?
With all my love,
Your Tumblr Dad
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There's this website I like using with my students sometimes that has a bunch of simple lil virtual models on it to teach various aspects of ecology, like this one that shows how two species of bacteria compete in a petri dish to illustrate niches, and this one that shows both how to estimate field vole populations using mark-recapture but also how their trap preferences affect the results, and this much fancier one showing how barnacles are affected by sea level rise. They are simple and fun and pedagogically useful. I like them.
I also want to make one of my own to teach climate proxies; sediment cores using foraminifera and their temperature-induced spiralling shells, for example, or pollen or beetle casings or what have you. Tree rings. Ice cores. Shit like that. So, the student would have an image of a layered sediment core, the model would generate random-but-within-parameters numbers of clockwise or anti-clockwise spiral foraminifera, in each layer, boom. Past climate record generated.
THE PROBLEM: I am a fucking moron when it comes to coding. I have tried so many times. It just absolutely resists my ability to understand. It's my Achilles heel. I'm an imbecile. A cretin. A joke.
THE POSSIBLE SOLUTION: my friend Dan who knows how to code.
THE NEW PROBLEM: there has been an XKCD-style assumption about baseline knowledge
#THE NEW SOLUTION: we are meeting up in person on saturday so he can hold my hand and probably ultimately do it for me out of disgust#the professional world of careers and tasks
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has Kakashi/Shisui ever been on a real mission with Tori? (Or Deidara for that matter) Since you mentioned that Deidara is technically part of R&D, do Tori and Deidara go on R&D missions together? Are "R&D missions" even a thing? It's just hard to imagine her on like a legit mission with people who know her and are not reborn!Akatsuki
i haven't hammered out how R&D really... works, yet. i know most of tori's day-to-day activities are research-related. i think most "R&D missions" are internal. like, you'll get assigned to develop a justu that does xyz, or test out the efficacy of some new field protocol someone proposed, etc. you might have external missions to observe or collect something, but i think those are more like "R&D requests the mission, it goes into the general mission pool, someone from R&D may or may not actually be assigned." R&D ninja can take gen pool missions depending on what their assignment in R&D is like, or their expertise might get them assigned to gen pool missions requiring niche knowledge/techniques/etc
deidara has an R&D affiliation because minato is like "oooh that kid needs specialized space or he's going to blow up something important," and then from there it's a lot of R&D higher ups begging him to formally write down how his justu actually, like, work. sometimes someone is like "hey wait can you make you hyper useful animated clay do x?" and then they have to listen to him give an insane diatribe on art, but sometimes he does go and do it. but i don't think he's assigned to any research groups and his main goal as formally stated by the hokage's office is to just be a better ninja (most R&D ninja are not like this, but it's not uncommon for someone to be there for this purpose). so deidara also regularly takes field missions
tori gets field missions less often, but she ends up on a lot of random ones because having a fuinjutsu master on hand is really useful and there's not a lot of them. i talked a little about this before, but i don't think it would be insane for her to be temporarily assigned to an ANBU team that needs fuinjutsu for some reason, or for someone from ANBU to be stuck on a gen pool team including tori. i think minato might be hesitant to match her with kakashi or shisui, but it's not... impossible. idk it might be fun to have them interact in a professional capacity. the tori mood for this au is that she is incredibly good at what she does; it just always comes as a surprise that she is lol
i decided medics do have to put in a certain number of hours training/in the hospital to maintain their status as medics, so what's MORE likely (and possibly funnier) is shisui going in for stitches and tori being like "guess who's doing her mandatory hours!!!!!" (i don't think tori is like.... great as an actual medic. certain aspects of it she's fantastic at because it's her research interest, but she doesn't actually like practicing medicine, and she's constantly trying to dodge her hospital shifts or count missions where she did 0 medical jutsu toward her hours)
one thing i want to play with is tori in a situation where other people's wellbeing/survival depends on her. like a mission gone wrong where she realizes she's the one who has to get other people to safety. i think this would be fun because tori.... never has to do this? she's always been the weakest on the team, and she doesn't consider herself a leader
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Ozzy, you are so knowledgeable. I've learned a suprising amount of niche fun facts (that I likely would've never known about otherwise) just by reading your fics! Where do you aquire such arcane knowledge, o great father Ozz?
Now I’m kind of wondering where exactly did I dump my lore to impress you this much, haha.
The generic answer is that I mostly write about things that interest me, or things I studied in college. And I tend to be a little too enthusiastic about whatever I find interesting, so now that I’m writing publicly, I can’t help the urge to insert random snippets, facts and tributes/references.
I’m glad my rambling and oversharing has been well received, anon. If you ever have questions about anything in particular, feel free to ask.
✌︎('ω')✌︎
#personal#no idea if I’m actually going to finish my science teaching degree#but the intention is still there#so you can always ask papa Ozz#whether it’s about astrophysics or monster genitals
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Anyway I’m bored and Carmen Sandiego renaissance is on the brain. What are these characters like when they aren’t focused on the main plot?? Non VILE/ACME/Caper related dialogue seems so few and far between.. I wish we got to see their lives outside work. So I made some headcanons abt it
CARMEN
Player was her first exposure to the outside world so she probably holds a lot of his nerdy interests close to her heart. She’s not the best at video games but plays them regardless. She especially enjoys sci-fi horror movies from the 80s that go big on practical effects
Finding random trivia about different countries is genuinely one of her favourite hobbies. The little info segments she does are not part of the edutainment show. She is genuinely just like that. This woman is a trove of fun facts please let her unleash them upon you
In the same vein she LOVES quizzes. After missions she will drag Team Red to any bar doing a trivia night in her vicinity and will wipe the floor with everyone there. Fear her
Enjoys people watching. It’s why she’s so good at charming strangers despite her socially stunted upbringing. She’ll sit alone in a busy train station for hours and watch everyone pass her by
PLAYER
Look. We know this kid is a nerd. It’s canon. But which niche of nerdiness does he fall into exactly?
Despite being an avid gamer he isn’t very competitive about it. He prefers single player rpgs, especially ones with active modding scenes. He doesn’t even know what vanilla Skyrim looks like he probably wasn’t even born yet when it released
He will, however, duo queue with Carmen on unranked Overwatch. They are both terrible at it and think it’s the funniest shit
Enjoys sitting back and watching a good speedrun. Will have a video of someone doing a stupid BOTW challenge in the background while he hacks security cameras and such
Runs a DnD campaign for Team Red which they’re all crazy invested in. Shadowsan is the only one who doesn’t care for it but he keeps rolling nat 20’s on the dumbest shit and derailing the campaign and he finds everyone’s reactions too entertaining to stop. They have a rivalry only a DM and a stupidly lucky rogue could have
ZACK
We already know he’s kind of a meathead that enjoys sports and cars and cheesy action movies but I also think he has a lot of softer hobbies that he keeps to himself bc he knows they won’t take him seriously
He’s a secret crocheter. He’ll mend the team’s clothes when they rip but that’s the extent of their knowledge. He’ll sit for hours by himself and knit while listening to music. Sometimes Shadowsan will find a new pair of socks in his bag. When Carmen got sick once she woke up with a handmade blanket draped over her. Ivy has her suspicions but doesn’t wanna intrude
He loves animals. He never really brings it up because no one ever asks. He always checks out local zoos and aquariums if he has the chance. Grew up watching Steve Irwin-esque nature shows and still does to this day
His love of eating is less out of greed and more his own form of cultural appreciation. Idk what happened to his and Ivy’s parents but for reasons he can’t explain their cooking is one of the few things he hasn’t forgotten, so he has a lot of sentimental food-based memories. And experiencing other countries cuisine connects him with that
IVY
PERIOD DRAMAS. They don’t have to be good they just have to be steamy. She enjoys the hot women in pretty dresses. She and Carmen watch Bridgerton together and laugh about how historically inaccurate it is
She LOVES renfaires and similar high fantasy roleplaying communities. Someone please buy this woman a suit of armour
As an engineering prodigy AND fantasy buff she has a massive interest in Blacksmithing and Swords. That’s her designated lesbian hobby. She’s been trying to politely worm her way into a conversation with Shadowsan about the blade he returned to his brother for months now but isn’t sure if it’s too personal of a topic for him so she’s nervous
Her sweet tooth encompasses more than just chocolate. She’s secretly grateful to Zack since he takes most of the flack for being a glutton. She makes note of any bakeries they pass by on capers so she can come back later in secret and go ham on the pastries
SHADOWSAN
I think his interest in Samurai history starts and ends with his love for Hideo. He’ll happily discuss it and he’s studied it passionately, but out of a sense of respect and duty to do right by the brother he betrayed
He will NEVER, EVER admit it to anyone but he genuinely misses the adrenaline rush from committing petty crimes. He was a criminal for over 20 years. Lifestyles are hard to shake and change isn’t linear. He’d never succumb to impulse but he’s just kinda bored
He microdoses on the urge by pranking people. Everyone always blames Zack so he never gets caught. He also enjoys sneaking up on people and making them jump. He’ll always insist it’s unintentional. It isn’t
He’ll read and meditate and train to keep himself centred but he’s still a rowdy young punk at heart. Team Red is the first taste of freedom he’s had after a lifetime of VILE faculty monitoring him. The first thing he bought for himself after settling in at the San Diego HQ was a motorbike. The second was a new tattoo. The third was a potentially lethal amount of whiskey that he drank in one sitting
JULIA
We know she has a passion for history outside her work in Law Enforcement so she definitely goes to all kinds of museums in her free time. She’s the kind of person who enjoys learning just for the sake of learning (she and Carmen have that in common)
Outside of that she’s surprisingly good at karaoke? She gets stage fright but really likes singing and will go all out if you hype her up. Her taste in music is the exact opposite of her appearance and personality. Lots and lots of death metal
An aficionado for different types of tea. She keeps like 10 flavours in her house at all times. She especially likes floral ones that taste light and sweet. She hates iced tea with a passion though
Goes to botanical gardens whenever the weather is warm and the season is right. She likes the history of the old manor houses but she also loves admiring the landscaping and the blooming flowers. She could sit on a bench surrounded by local flora and fauna for hours
DEVINEAUX
Chase is an entirely different person when he’s off the clock. The unhinged high-energy maniac who froths at the mouth about La Femme Rouge goes dormant once he gets home. Especially after he got stranded on VILE island. That really gave him some introspection about work/life balance
The biggest, softest, sappiest hopeless romantic you will ever meet in your life. Passion is just part of his nature and he gets his heart broken A LOT. It’s why he throws himself into his work
He’s a really good chef. Like REALLY good. Before he was a cop he did a few summers as a line cook in his teen years and he retained most of the knowledge. His pantry is STACKED and he tries out recipes he picked up from his ACME travels in his free time. He’s a tad snobby about it because he’s French but you will not complain about the stuff he feeds you
Old movie enjoyer. His favourites are film noirs, cheesy romances, creepy eastern european animation and german expressionism. He has a fervent hatred of Marvel
Also one of those insane people who get up at 5am to do cardio. One morning before a mission he met Agent Zari with barely a glisten of sweat on his forehead and sadly informed her that he only got to run 15k and he wished he had time to do more. That was the first time she ever knew fear
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Hiya! Just wanted to drop by and say hi and thanks for reaching out and saying hi on my silly little post about talking about DD :,)
I love seeing all the Paracelsus enjoyers, she is the best shrimp posture doctor. <3 Do you have any personal favourite/niche headcanons for her?
Also good luck with your exams! Are you studying medicine/biomedicine? (I did a few classes a few years ago, and kudos -- it's so much material, especially the anatomy classes.) Do you have a favourite class? :o
Hi hi! :D! I put the personal stuff under a read more because by GOD can I ramble </3
Of course! I always like saying hi to people I see in the Darkest Dungeon tag! I think your art is SO lovely too!! I adore the way you draw Dismas and Reynauld!! They're so shapely in your style <3 pair that up with a Bloodborne crossover?? you're spoiling us fans fr!!
I'm a Para enjoyer first and foremost because I relate with the thirst for random medical knowledge that Para has, and also her bird motif!! (She's bird-like in my heart and soul. And I'm a bird enjoyer <3)
I have a few stray headcanons for her, mostly everything is about her scope of practice because that's where my thought process tends to stray when I study. We know that she's named after the father of toxicology, so most of her study goes into figuring out external agents effects on the human body. Though, I like to imagine her to have side interest in hematology as well! Mixing blood with a bunch of other agents seems like something she would be interested at least. (Perhaps that's how she finds out about blood types...*cough* I've been thinking about writing a Paracelsus fic about this for literal months *cough*)
This is a personal thing of mine, but I refuse to believe that Paracelsus actually believed in Humorism. I mean, the first iteration of it was basically a glorified personality test, nay horoscopes! (Yes I know that knowledge was limited back then, but alas, I'd like to imagine her scope is more experimental than observational.)
So instead I headcanon her to--if not the progenitor of Germ Theory--then at least a constituent of it. I think she and Louis Pasteur would have really fun conversations about it.
Another stray headcanon I have is that she receives the equivalent of a newspaper subscription from historical medical practitioners/researchers. So her daily newspaper could be about Edward Jenner's vaccine studies or Ferdinand Cohn's endospores. I don't care that the two of them existed 100 years apart, if we can have a 7th century BC Roman Vestal and a 14th century Plague Doctor in the same room then I can have Edward Jenner and Andrew Wakefield ("vaccines cause autism" guy) duking it out in scientific papers that Paracelsus reads like a WWE match.
Thank you for the luck fellow science enjoyer! Are you also studying medicine :0!?
Thankfully, my exam period is finally over, so I'm taking it easy with recuperating with the post-exam burnout :P And I'm a health major with a nutrition minor, but with a program path towards perfusion! My far-future end goal is to become a surgeon, but due to life circumstances I'll have to settle for perfusion for the time being :P Which I don't mind at all! I think it's such an interesting field, and a hidden hero for many cardiac surgeries! I also really like learning about the circulatory system so I think it's a little perfect ehehe :D!
My favorite class is currently Anatomy & Physiology, I have a really good professor this year, but my god It's actually a lot more complex than I thought it was gonna be while walking in. I genuinely thought it was mostly memorizing like...the bones of the skeleton and perhaps the muscles or something like that. Nahhh it takes a lot of micrology concepts too ;; Which I don't mind! But some days I'm staring at some topics like the neuromuscular junction and wishing I never knew what acetylcholine was. Though some days I do wish to return to Medical Terminology, that class was what I imagined: simple.
Thank you so much for this ask!! It was lovely talking about it!!
#I'm always down for some Paracelsus chatter! I like talking about medical stuff!#perhaps itll help me study too AHAHAH <3#darkest dungeon#this bird responds
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Can you share your favorite fun facts about the blorbos?
Oh man, it's really hard to choose! I've got quite a few little niche facts about the Links!! So I'll just list one for each Link 🫶🏽 Hopefully I'll do it in alphabetical order </3
Artisan still lives with the Tailor's family! They work under her apprenticeship, rather than her husband, and they're much happier as a tailor than they were as a blacksmith. (actually also adding that Artisan keeps in contact with the other heroes from Triforce Heroes :D they're Crimson and Sapphire!
Engie is really big into herpatology on the side. His first love is definitely trains (and Zelda, I guess) but he loves picking up injured reptiles that he sees and nursing them back to health! His favourite type of reptile is a snake and he loves rainbow boas :D
Eras actually really enjoys cooking. Before being enlisted into the Hyrulean army, he wanted to be a chef. Being a hero swept him up and he's been too ensnared by court theatre to ever even think about his dreams a chef. He can still cook up a mean pumpkin soup though.
Faye has far more tattoos than meets the eye--and yes, those...tend to bleed too. Their blood has a strange blue tint to it that translates through their scars too. (side bar but I do actually have a diagram with the tattoos so I'm adding that too)
Feathers has a loftwing named Azul. He thinks he's very smart and funny for naming the Red Loftwing a shade of blue.
Green, in Minish's system, is incredibly paranoid. He's a huge motherhen and very protective of his system, and they constantly keep a moon pearl attached to their necklace. Just in case! They also keep a mysterious shell on their necklace as well...for luck.
Due to excessive magic use as a kid, Mirror suffers through severe chronic pain. He has a cane in his bag for days when flare ups are so bad he could barely walk. That doesn't stop him from continuing to use magic, he just has to use it very sparingly.
Tune lives full time in Tetra's crew. He values her expertise and knowledge and respects her more than anyone--besides his grandmother, of course. He's adamant that she's the strongest (and coolest) person he knows. (also, since I couldn't pick which fact I wanted to write, I'm adding that he is OBSESSED with cats. The Ship cats practically own him
Kind of a random detail in my AU, but Agitha is the one who helped Rancher realise she's a girl and helped her be confident in her body! They collect bugs together and Rancher definitely doesn't know a lot about them, but she LOVES hearing Agitha infodump about them.
Wild is a lone wolf by design. It's not like he intends to be that way, but he just. Always feels like a passive observer of his own life and accidentally drifts away from groups without realising it. Because of it, he can blend into the background very well.
Zonau has not talked to someone in literal decades. He isolated himself to do the goddesses know what, and kind of sucks at socialising as a result. It's just super out of practise. It's a little bit of a hermit crab.
Oh!! and I also have. playlists that I'm making for my Links too :D but I'll add those when I'm actually finished them </3
#creator content#mf asks#Mf Engie#Mf Eras#Mf Zonau#Mf Rancher#Mf Faye#Mf Feathers#Mf Wild#Mf Tune#Mf Minish#MF Mirror#Mf Artisan#It took me awhile to think of them all#Thinking of doing an overhall and looking at each character again#and properly fleshing out them and what I want them to be like#But these facts still swim in my brain and I HAD to talk abt it#so they're subject to change
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hiii I have a question as u are starting ur masters soon… I’m transferring to a university this fall to get a bachelor’s (undeclared major) and history is one of the majors I’m considering… are you a history major or something more specific? And would you recommend it? Just out of curiosity :)
aaaaah I have my BA in religious studies w a minor in history! but the Type of religious studies I focus on and primarily give a shit about are historical religious studies. like obviously w my degree I Know and Care about modern religion (& it particularly interests me where it intersects w feminism & queerness) but like. my Primary focus is religious history!
and honestlyyyyy I would absolutely recommend it it's so so so fun and it teaches you so much about the world around you. I will be a downer and say keep potential jobs in mind bc a lot of history focused jobs take a MA or PhD..... buuut I absolutely love my degree and I loved all the classes I took for it and would honestly not trade it. I started out as an early childhood education major but I was Miserable and this made me so so so much happier and more fulfilled
even if you don't go for a degree in it I'd HIGHLY recommend taking some random, niche history classes for electives. some of my favorite classes have been history of american religion, history of sexuality, history of religious tolerance, and art history of china.... like they're just so interesting & for sure worth gaining some Knowledge
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Duskmourn Play Booster Challenge
I always like to make a booster pack of custom cards to accompany each set, giving me a chance to play around with the mechanics and a bite-sized attempt at designing for a larger set rather than in a vacuum. (You may notice that I didn't do one for bloomburrow. Uh, moving on,). This is done in the style of a contest from GDS3, and in that vein I try to make cards that not only are reasonable additions to the set but also, whenever possible, are doing something novel with the themes and mechanics, not just rehashing the same old things. I also try to cover wide amounts of ground, in terms of color and themes, not focusing too hard on any one thing.
Art links
Wicker Dancer
Not Done Yet
Lost Prison // Crack in the Walls
Final Ghoul
Zealot of Terrors
Ominous Calm
Regal Simulacrum
Haunting Knowledge
Fear of Loss
Grasping Ghost
Torturous Blaze
Rotrue Remnant
Sinister Passage
Rare
Card transcription
Wicker Dancer 1GG Artifact Creature- Scarecrow At the beginning of your upkeep, choose artifact, enchantment, creature, or land at random. Until end of turn, you may play cards of the chosen type from your graveyard. Each card you play this way enters with a finality counter on it. 3/3
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This was the last card I made for the pack, and was basically made to fill constraints. I knew I wanted an artifact in the pack, to have a diverse spread of types for delirium, and I knew I wanted it to be green since there was only one other green card in the pack. A green artifact, in this set, definitely wanted to tie into the delirium theme, but I didn't want to just do delirium straight up cause it was already on a few cards in the pack. After a few iterations, I settled on this design which encourages the same kinds of things as delirium does but comes at it from another angle. It's a very Johnny-y card; it can have a lot of power to it, but you need to be able to build around it to consistently use it. Normally I don't like to use randomness as a power limitation, but I think it works well here; being able to choose the type would encourage you to just put it in a deck that wants that one type. Doing it like this means you want to work around the randomness in a way I think will be fun.
Uncommons
Card transcription
Not Done Yet 3WW Sorcery Return target permanent card from your graveyard to the battlefield. If you return a Room this way, unlock one of its locked doors. Survivors never celebrate a victory for long.
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This is a pretty simple card for the white-black reanimator theme. I wanted it to be able to hit both creatures and enchantments to tie into the enchantment theme, and I thought it was best to just let it hit any permanent. Reanimating rooms doesn't really, work all that well though, and since they're a key part of the set I wanted to make sure this card did work with them, so i gave it an unlock clause. It's not really meant to be Room reward, so much as reanimation card that also happens to work with Rooms, and I think i struck that balance well.
Card transcription
Lost Prison 2U Enchantment- Room At the beginning of your upkeep, you may lock an unlocked door of a Room you control. // Crack in the Walls 3U Enchantment- Room When you unlock this door, target creature you control gets +2/+2 and can't be blocked until end of turn.
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Now this one *is* meant to be a heavy Room reward. Putting it on a room itself let's me get away with a much more niche effect than I might otherwise, cause at minimum you can just use it as a way to use the second half over and over, but if you have other rooms you can use it with those instead and don't have to spend 4 mana every turn to make use of it.
Card transcription
Final Ghoul 1B Creature- Zombie Final Ghoul can't block. 1B: Return Final Ghoul from your graveyard to the battlefield with a finality counter on it. Activate only as a sorcery, and only if you control no creatures. (If a creature with a finality counter on it would die, exile it instead.) 3/3
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From before the set even came out, I wanted a card named "final ghoul" and since we didn't get one I had to make it myself. Ties into the graveyard themes of the set.
Card transcription
Zealot of Terrors 1B Creature- Human Cleric Artifact creatures and enchantment creatures you control get +1/+1. Delirium — 3BB, T: Create a 2/2 black Horror enchantment creature. Activate only if there are four or more card types among cards in your graveyard 2/2
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I came up with the first line of text as an off-beat way to encourage similar deckbuilding to delirium, but this card felt like it worked better if it just also had a straight up delirium ability to make it more obvious. I had the delirium ability make you enchantment creatures, in order to synergize with first ability. This also works well in an Eerie deck, and I like that flexibility.
Commons
Card transcription
Ominous Calm 2W Instant Manifest dread. That creature enters with a lifelink counter on it. (Look at the top two cards of your library. Put one onto the battlefield face down as a 2/2 creature and the other into your graveyard. Turn it face up any time for its mana cost if it’s a creature card.)
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This is part of a cycle of cards that are all instants/sorceries that manifest dread and put a keyword counter on the card. I just think it's a fun mechanic to combine with manifesting, cause it makes it more than just a vanilla 2/2 when face down and it sticks around when it turns face up and that can be interesting in useful ways. Like if you manage to manifest a big creature, getting lifelink on it is certainly fun.
Card transcription
Regal Simulacrum 3W Enchantment Creature- Horror When this permanent enters, draw a card. Impending 3—1W (If you cast this spell for its impending cost, it enters with three time counters and isn’t a creature until the last is removed. At the beginning of your end step, remove a time counter from it.) 3/3 It spoke only in gibbers, but its manner evoked the forgotten royalty it mocked.
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Impending was only on a cycle of mythics but it's my favorite mechanic from the set and I was really hoping to see it more than that, and this is my booster so I can. You can't stop me.
Card transcription
Haunting Knowledge 2U Sorcery Draw two cards. Eerie — Whenever an enchantment you control enters or you fully unlock a Room, Haunting Knowledge gains flashback 2U until end of turn. (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)
End transcription
Here's a simple Eerie reward that uses it in a fun way I feel like we don't see this kind of mechanic get used a lot. Conditional flashback is just a fun way to do things.
Card transcription
Fear of Loss 2B Enchantment Creature- Nightmare When this creature enters, choose enchantment or creature. Each player sacrifices a permanent of the chosen type. 3/1 It bears the faces of everyone you grieve most dearly.
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This is a design I've had sitting around for a while, and Duskmourn felt like a great place to deploy it. It's a twist on the typical Fleshbag Marauder effect we've seen a lot of utilizing black's ability to remove enchantments.
Card transcription
Grasping Ghost R Creature- Spirit When this creature enters, exile the top card of your library face down. You may look at that card for as long as it remains exiled this way. T, Sacrifice this creature: You may play the exiled card until end of turn. 1/2 It clings to what it knew in life, no longer remembering why.
End transcription
Here's a twist on red's impulse draw effects, that ties it into the graveyard theme by making you sacrifice a creature to get it.
Card transcription
Torturous Blaze 1R Instant Torturous Blaze deals 3 damage to target creature or planeswalker. Delirium — If there are four or more card types among cards in your graveyard, instead Torturous Blaze deals damage to that permanent equal to the number of those card types. Razorkin delight in tormenting the uninitiated.
End transcription
I think it's fun to make delirium scale up, so that if you go all-in on diversity of card types in your graveyard you can get extra rewards for it, but that's difficult to do at common. I think this card makes it work though, since it has the baseline mode of dealing 3 damage; it has a very safe floor, it's only the ceiling that's raised, so it's not too demanding of your deckbuilding which feels safe at common.
Card transcription
Rotrue Remnant G Creature- Elf Druid Survivor Survival — At the beginning of your second main phase, if this creature is tapped, add G. 1/1 Some elves live in the Hauntwoods despite the dangers, in memory of the forests of their ancestors.
End transcription
I'm kinda surprised we didn't get a survival mana dork, since it triggers at the perfect time during main phase so you don't need to add any clunky "you don't lose this mana" clause. I went with the powerful llanowar elves version, but to be safer you definitely could make this like, a 2 mana 1/3 or something. But I like to live dangerously.
Card transcription
Sinister Passage Land T: Add C. T: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to turn a permanent face up. 4, T, Sacrifice Sinister Passage: Manifest dread. Activate only as a sorcery. (Look at the top two cards of your library. Put one onto the battlefield face down as a 2/2 creature and the other into your graveyard. Turn it face up any time for its mana cost if it’s a creature card.)
End transcription
A land that can sac itself is great for delirium, and one that can turn itself into a creature later in the game makes for a good use-case for that. So this card kinda built itself. I added the "add any mana" clause just cause it felt right, and made it a bit better in a manifest deck.
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HI.. this is out of the blue but I saw your url in a comment on a random post and immediately went AH. IM THE NZ NATIVE BIRD ENJOYER. I wonder how much this person knows about kiwi... um!! I have a few fun facts :3 they evolved to fill the same niche as nocturnal mammals!! so along with being flightless, they ALSO have solid bones, feathers that look and function like fur, face feathers that have evolved to WORK LIKE WHISKERS, and nostrils on the end of their beak just like a mammal snout!!! they're trying so hard to be mammals I find it so sweet. also they're bigger than most people think but you might already know that!!! I hope you have a good day :3
Thank you dear friend. I always welcome and enjoy kiwi birds facts. I hope your day is bright and you'll eat something tasty <3
also you mentioned a few facts I DEFINITELY DIDN'T KNOW so you also expanded my knowledge. Thank you <3 <3 <3
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fandom ask!!! 6 9 and 17 w/whatever character ((: also just wanted to let u know how much i've grown with ur art lol, i was a big caejose enjoyer and when i started getting into my aa phase i looked back at ur art and saw all the narumitsu stuff and was like hell yeah!!
Omg how fun! I love being able to see works from familiar creators when i explore new fandoms, I’m glad i could be that for you hehe ^^
6. Show us a bit of a WIP!
Since you got me feeling nostalgic, have this caejose wip that i love even if i may never finish it! (Werewolf/vampire au!)
9. Write a recommendation of someone else’s fic you enjoyed!
(tgcf incoming…)
tremble (for my beloved) by yilingcatriarch - there are no words better to describe this than “The Eming Fic”, and the reason it’s what i want to recommend out of the many many fics i’ve loved is because i read it like a week ago and i genuinely cannot stop thinking about it. Such a fun, sweet, and original concept & execution. I really enjoyed it! So- easy to read and easy to love! I really hope the author might consider writing a sequel someday, but truthfully it’s perfect as is!
17. What’s a book, movie, or show you think [character] would like?
OHOHOHOHOO OK SO!! (7yg narumitsu + trucy, no one is surprised atp)
I have a bit of a headcanon surrounding it, but i think that Phoenix, Trucy, and Miles would enjoy watching Perry Mason together to try and see who can figure out the truth/true criminal first! (Bonus points bc! MASON + 7YG!!) The hc is that they would habitually watch an episode or two at the end of the day, and compete see who ends up with the highest accuracy rate. This show has just enough niche/antiquated culture knowledge (Miles), random character motive bs (Phoenix), and “guy who was on screen but nobody noticed” (Trucy) for it to be a relatively fair competition between the three of them. Trucy definitely wins out in the end though, by a small but reasonable margin.
#i yaoified the SHIT outta those hands but whats done is done sorry jojo#theres also this one wip i have of a miles art but tbh i really dont have a time or occasion to ever share it#(and i dont think i will ever finish it so rip that one wip you were so epic to me)#also if yall ever want fic recs from me… hmu ok because i am always growing the list#also i just think people should share fic recs like this more often like JUST TALK ABOUT THEM!!!!!#anyway phoenix named the mason system after perry mason bc he thinks he’s soooooooo funny (he is)#asks#ask meme
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a while back, i reblogged a post on here that said something along the lines of "it's ok if you don't know a lot about your interests" (it was a bit more elaborate than that) and for some reason i made the mistake to read the comments the next time i saw it.
frustratingly, a lot of people - some of them well-intentioned, even! - expressed the opinion that not knowing much about something automatically meant you were only a casual enjoyer of it. the well-intentioned ones would say things like "yeah, there's nothing wrong with being a casual fan."
(why does that even need to be said? lmao. autism website bias)
this assumption uses the exact same logic as a parent telling you, accusingly, "you wouldn't have forgotten if it was important to you." or the cheerful but no less frustrating version, in response to the child expressing that they forgot what they were going to say: "well, since you forgot, it can't have been important." argh!!
as someone who literally rereads the same damn wikipedia articles multiple times per year because none of the information will stick, i resent the implication that i am in any way "less interested" in those subjects than someone who reads them only once or twice total and then just ... knows that stuff. or that me forgetting details about my favourite media makes me a casual fan. where's the acknowledgement that people with memory problems can still feel the same amount of passion as people who are walking encyclopedias?
well, that's what that post was supposed to be for.
and yeah, to a degree this is absolutely a niche problem: encyclopedic knowledge about one's hobbies is not the norm. but i've had multiple friends - and as far as i'm aware, they weren't even autistic - who made me feel inferior for not knowing as much about our shared interests as they did. one of them also made me feel like a horrible person for not remembering random facts she'd told me, so for a while i literally took notes during all of our phone calls. normal human behaviour!
20 years have passed since then and now my memory problems are much worse. i've been unlearning this ... pressure to "prove my level of interest" for almost a decade, to accept that it's totally fine and cool to in fact just reread the same wikipedia article multiple times per year. i mean, as long as i'm having fun, right??
my inability to memorise facts or even keep them in my head for an hour does limit how much fun i can have, though. you can't really understand advanced texts if you don't remember the basics. i've tried to combat this by literally studying things as if i were back in school, highlighting the important points in physical books i owned and making flashcards ... but that's boring. the only reason i've managed to make it work with language learning is that i have several interests taking turns reinforcing each other.
then again, the language i am technically the most interested in is one i haven't been able to learn much of because i don't have that cycle of reinforcement going on with it and there are fewer learning resources available. intensity of interest is just not the deciding factor.
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MONEY / FINANCE STRESS CONTENT WARNING, this next line is unfortunately quite stressful about money so this was an important warning for me to add:
This is also less for the random strangers on the internet who have no reason to trust my advice but more for the 10-15 people I know personally who trust my money advice based on prior experience and Ive sent them my blog link in the last month or two
US stock market is about to tank. On a global perspective its stupidly overpriced because markets like China are hitting 5 year lows (as in we've increased our stock market over 2x since "COVID lows", but their market is even lower than it was then.
Timing is hard but it is entirely possible yesterday was the peak of the market. Might also not tank for 6 months.
Market psychology is fucking weird tho so please absolutely dont 'short' anything, which is basically the same as 'buying puts'. Michael Burry nearly bankrupted all his friends, family, and random investors by insisting on 'shorting' things based on knowledge of impending crisis.
Just sell everything. I mean literally everything. Bond etfs might go up but youd have to have eyes glued to the charts to sell in time. Gold wont do, neither will bitcoin. Their negative correlation to stocks isnt really a thing anymore.
Get every etf, stock, whatever into cash in the brokerage account, then move it out of the banks/brokerage firms and into something physically in front of you because we are, in fact, in another 'historical period of bank runs' its just not quite at the peak yet.
Not trying to increase anxiety beyond nessecary-- its just that any, single bank can immediately freeze your money-- leaving it up to the Federal Government to pay you back-- and it might possibly be the case that youd have to rely on whats called a "bank bail in" to see your savings again.
Not a fun situation to be in, even if it wont happen to most people its just safe practice to do this during a "historical period of bank runs"
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This blog is basically my diary of my thoughts (suprise suprise). But Im an open book, privileged (but poor) little white boy with complex societal/generational abuse and very little home problems so lets fucking go theres a whole mormon cargo van to unpack
Definitely recommend tags Im terrible at them.
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To those reading this, if you have ever met me in real-life or on the internet than you have taught me varying degrees of information which can be randomly retrieved by my brain at any time depending on current CPU performance. Thoughts of my loving husband have occupied my headspace probably 95% of my time since 14 so he has absolutely taught me at least 100x more than anyone else in the world.
When I say "I", oftentimes Im thinking about "me and my husband", or even sometimes "me and my friends/family", or even sometimes "me and society"--- but I am not always 100% aware of the current headspace environment and/or beliefs of the minds of those around me without feedback
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There are currently over 8 billion individual varieties of the global human language spoken within the mind. Lets start translating them all. Misunderstood words become mean labels.
I fucking hate mean labels
"Math wiz" = racism and/or classism and/or gender shit. Fuck that shit
When a person is niched off into one part of an 8 billion population human society, it becomes impossible to not "live in a bubble". Bubbles change in size constantly even if not visibly observed. Bubbles can be different sizes depending on your current day-to-day thoughts of your own society. Bubbles must pop. Enlightenment implies life only gets better the more times ya pop and lock it
My path away from purely mathematics, logic, and scientific theory began when I met my husband, and for the first time in my life it became important to me not to be an asshole to everyone around me
Ive been told (only after I started dating my traumatized husband tho and helped him heal a lot) that I'm a natural communicator-- and all my life I found myself listening and learning to everything and everyone around me trying to understand both their and my own motivations-- then I like to garble them up and spit 'em out. My memory recall ability is wonky tho and fluctuates highly with nutrient intake-- I'll get into that later
I wish I could have a million years to read every blog on tumblr. I really do. Connecting & communating is extremely important for understanding one another but it takes time
I had an extremely unique childhood (who hasnt lol), enough so to isolate myself quite a lot through sheer dumb luck. My mom is also everyone's favorite school teacher so of course I was learning a lot from a young age. Luckily I glued myself to the first person who wanted to glue themselves to me equally & we grew exponentially closer to eternity
If its still not clear: my husband and I are bored and love chatting with people, but like most internet loving freaks my mouth don't work sometimes well but my fingies do. My ears got fluff a lot but I got eyes for LEDs like a hawk. Wish they werent LED tho
I also have a naturally short sleep cycle (i.e. extra time for this), and I really wont be offended or weirded out by someone reading through and liking 20+ or whatever of my posts at once randomly. Stories are supposed to be read in chunks, and I think of this blog as a story & also workspace for my thoughts that Id love to see which chapters everyone has read through. Also I love (and only respond positively to) positive feedback, yet also suggestions for ways to improve my "theorums". As in, good faith discussions are totally welcome on any post.
For my 50 year old parents reading my blog so lovingly in their limited evening time-- you can sort by tags to see what topics your familiar with, if you play around with the search function while on my page. Mom. Show dad how to do it
In the very, very bottom of my blog I dont even think I managed to tag shit properly-- but its the roughdraft workings of the philosophy, as well as my own logical framework for answering lifes questions. Its 2 months ago so I might not even be writing according to my own works down there anymore idk I change fast sometimes
Last thing for now here is that I was always criticized by teachers for not showing my work, and for not reviewing my tests before turning in, and I pushed back hard because nearly every time I went over and corrected a mistake-- I saw I most often got it right the first fucking time on a pure hunch. I act on impulse when I'm not meditating mostly for efficiency purposes because I believe I'm correct, but remain open to emotionally positive feedback so I can help remove all doubt.
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This might turn into my 'life story' post, as its already going there. Heres what I have so far in the way of my knowledge of my family before I was brought into existence, and my "earliest memories":
Family context:
I dont know jack shit. Nobody talks about it at all.
Here's my own observations Ive made using the framework and perceptive filters I was given--
My whole family is white Texans.
Ancestory is slaveowners of course, further back is a very likely direct parent-child descendent line from the most famous inbred british royalty of the 13th century i.e. King John, whose brother was the arab genociding Richard.
I would call my immediate family as upper poverty class. Its more like poverty with extra privileges cause mental health stigma was the only thing holding them back not other shit too.
As children we had a lot of very privileged opportunities because my parents made a lot of sacrifices to try and bring us back up the class ladder. Lets look into that generational trauma issue
My dads parents (born in the early 40s, dont know the year exactly. I think '43 or '44) were more upper middle class, pretty high income. Owned an insurance business that was very successful by the early 2000s at least. My grandpa is described to me as a "monster" and "violently abusive". I have a single memory of him screaming at me as a young child and I was cowering under a desk, so I really believe it. No other stories at all to provide context.
-- I gotta split this section off I realized I wrote the next thing about post-me context Ill need to move this part lower down later--
My grandpa got early onset dementia, my dad didnt notice in time, and my grandpa bankrupted his successful company and lost several million of dollars to "scammers and sexy ladies."
My dad found out around 2015-16 or so. He told me a little bit after telling me my grandparents were getting divorced. My dad managed to scrape together about $200,000 which is being sued for by the IRS actively.
(He split that money in two, and entrusted me tell him how to invest half in safe value stocks that I handpicked as well as a calculated risk allocation to bonds which we sold for 30% profit the second the market crashed. He gave the other half to a brokerage advisor. I never met the advisor but saw the results. Dont get me started on how the other dude did with that money-- we started this endeavor in January 2020.)
Personally I also dont believe that its possible to spend an entire fortune on scammers and strippers, so Id love to see his books and figure out what the hell went wrong with that asshole. I have a hunch I know something more than anyone else ("Enron", guys, we're talking about an insurance company in HOUSTON, in the 2000s) but I will never be sure without the books.
----
Back to other family--
I do not know a single thing about my grandma on my dads side. She raised me quite a lot, but yeah I literally have only heard her life described to me as "she was a housewife"
On my moms side, my Mimi (also born 1940s but slightly younger so I think 1946 or 1947) came from a divorced, upper middle class family. In 1964-65, She and her step mom both got knocked up the same year so she watched her divorced dad remarry to said step mom when she was 18-19 and getting a shotgun marriage herself, so you can imagine what that was like. The "biological" of the two moms was a very good mom and very queer from what I hear. She died when I was a baby, from lung cancer. Thats all I know. My mimi raised me quite a lot, nearly equally as much as my mom did
My mom's dad, my Papa, came from a rural farming family in East Texas. Dont know much else of anything, but he and his siblings were named "Billy, Bobby, and Betty". As in, they are what everyone likes to call "hicks"
--
Moving onto my direct parents now. I know a little more about them of course, but since we're getting closer in age to the present-- I think itll be easier to describe my understanding as common stereotypes. If its unclear what I mean definitely feel free to ask, but I'll probably say "I dont really know"
Not much else is relevant other than knowing that my moms family was the mormon one, but that as soon as my dad was love-bombed by the church he joined to. Mormons were also different in the 90s I'm told.
My dad struggled with being one of the "crazy schizos" of the 90s. As in, very traumatized, upset, and gaslit by the government and his parents. Must have done a damn good job dealing with it by the time he was in his late 20s and I popped out cause he was never a "bad dad" to me at all. Definitely yelled and was more angry at times, but less than any other friends parents Ive ever met, and from what I remember he came into my room at night and apologized to me literally every single time within like 5-10 minutes. I know pretty much nothing about him pre-me. He was a tradesman my whole life and specialized in remodeling kitchens & bathrooms (the 'dirty work of construction'). All his initial clientele were the rich people my grandma lived near and was friends with.
My mom would have been extremely queer-presenting and posting on tumblr if born in the year 2000, but was born in early 70s, and was a raegan teen in high-school in Texas during the satanic panic-- she presents completely cis, straight, but has body dysmorphia issues. Thats about you need to know about those issues I'm sure my tumblr folks can assume the rest and be perfectly correct. Cause thats about all I know too and I'm assuming the rest about my own mother
--- Earliest memories
I think a lot of people face doubt about their own earliest memories, maybe hearing the way I connect the images of these events in my head to my emotions I felt will help others do the same.
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Two disclosers about me & my current healthcare discoveries before moving on
1) My only "major" childhood trauma is loneliness. I have a partner now (started dating early high school, nearing 10 years together now) who was just as lonely and we are glued to each others side constantly, and have made our life work great that way. So don't feel too bad reading this, I'm only able to write it down because Ive healed that trauma and can dig this stuff up with no issues to validate the emotions I felt even as a child
1) I believe I have a genetic trait that is only just getting discovered. There are something like 6 discovered mutations that hold this similar trait so far, and its just basically chronic insomia.
It being a genetic trait tracks with how my mom describes me as never settling into a normal sleep pattern at 6 months old, having absurd amounts of nightmares and death anxiety keeping me up at night as a child, and I still dont sleep at any given time. I average 2 hours less sleep than my husband, who averages 7-8 now that he isnt actively being abused at home.
Going to get sequenced but even if negative I'd probably just be a 7th mutation, as they only found the other 6 genes via case study.
The scientists whove discovered it call it "Familial Natural Short Sleeper", if you desire to look it up. They describe the trait like its the best possible thing in the world. Well... terminally chronic insomia is not the best thing in THIS world thats for sure.
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My "earliest memories"
These arent ranked by time accurately of course. Took enough effort digging through my brain to turn them up, not like Ive got a 2003 calendar stuffed in here as well.
I did do my best to sort by first memory but it also might be sorted by the order at which I recovered the memories as being one of my "earliest" when I was a child and asked such things
1. Pure emptiness. I can only describe it as dissociation. I can remember nothing about the environment around me, except feeling suddenly sucked out of it, seeing only darkness, feeling almost a ringing in my ears and the deepest dread possible. This same feeling followed me in life for a little while, but started to take more visual shape when I was an adolescent, until at some point I would see myself sitting in a chair alone in a room that is infinitely sized but that slowly gets darker the further out you go. I cant remember what exact "real-world" event caused this feeling to ever happen each time it did. I just can remember having it happen occasionally when I was awake and doing things. Definitely dissociation. (If you are willing to believe me further I think its just probably "lights out" and being scared of that)
1. Riding a mattress down the stairs. I kind of remember two images, one is the tunnel vision of going high speed down the stairs and the other would be from looking back up at the stairs when I was done going down. Totally fun, probably my first rollar coaster ride. I might remember my siblings laughing too but it wouldnt be because I can remember the actual laughing-- but I can remember feeling the joy of being in a group of people laughing. At the time, my parents were selling the house so thats why I also remember it being a completely empty carpeted room that we were riding down into
2. My brother smashing his head repeatedly into the refrigerator for 'fun' and someone saying "wow he has a hard head" or something along those lines. I was learning english I cant remember exactly what they said but that was definitely the meaning I took from their words. I think this memory is strong, because I was truly very curious as to why my brother was just running at full speed, head down, and headbutting a hard surface. The words someone said after that must have been one of my first 'answers'
3. Watching my siblings play in rare Houston snow. Not much remembering there actually. Probably just thought it was mezmorizing to watch as I just really remember a picture and feeling peace
4. Will add more later.
#mental health#trauma#early memories#life story#family#generational trauma#wealth disparity#memory#self healing#child psychology#diary#math#classism#privilege#cycle of abuse#behavioral economics#psychology#philosophy
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