#having new content that i can’t watch and still having to make art… i’ll see)

[cable-salamder]

Alright gang, I’m probs gonna refrain from going onto my fyp/ tl for now. I’ll still post stuff (probably mostly art), but if I don’t like or rb anything from you or other people in the fandom (if I do rb smth it’s probably scheduled) for a while it’s because of that

[detectivestucks]

A Jealous Hokage XIV

18+ content, Minors do NOT interact

Pairing: Kakashi x F!Reader x Obito

Summery: The confrontation between you, Kakashi, and Obito does not go well resulting in Obito visiting you at your new job to apologize. Lady Tsunade gets involved.

Warnings: NSFW, dom kink, knee riding, squirting, slight choking, nipple play, anal play, unprotected penetration

Word Count: 7.7k

Art Credit: @akirasukuna

Part 13 New Here? Check out Part 1

A/N: Okay, so not as long but still long...but we're so close to the end!

Kakashi was starting to zone out at his desk when suddenly Obito comes bursting into his office.

“KAKASHI WE NEED TO TALK!”

Kakashi’s heart drops to his feet when he sees you suddenly in his presence caked in blood.

“Y/N, what happened?!”

You look up at Kakashi feeling flustered and embarrassed. Your brain was still reeling from the scene you left no more than three minutes prior. You begin to open your mouth to speak when Kakashi cuts you off.

“Wait, Obito, why are you-? How are either of you-”

There is no need for him to finish his question. Obito was following you just as Kakashi told him not to do and he teleported you here after you got yourself into trouble.

“Nevermind.” he says trying to collect his composure but still passing Obito a glare as to say he would deal with his insubordination later.

“She was attacked by the Stone!”

“Why would our allies attack her?! I just got a raven from the Tsuchikage-”

“One of their Black Ops didn’t trust her and he corralled three others to attack!”

“Eight others” you interject. “I’ll have you know I fought off five of them by myself. Stop treating me like I’m weak Obi!”

Yes, you were grateful to Obito for saving you but you knew exactly what he was trying to do by running to Kakashi like this.

“If you’re so strong why did I have to come and save you?!”

“Are we really going to ignore the fact that I was up against nine shinobi, one of whom was Anbu, and I held my own until help arrived?!”

“Yes! Cause help had to arrive!” Obito shouts.

“Wait, why did you have to wait for help to arrive, where is Naruto?” Kakashi suddenly chimes in.

“Exactly” Obito states, rounding on Kakashi “Where was your golden boy, Kakashi? He was nowhere to be seen while she was pinned to a tree!”

Kakashi’s face flashed a look of heartbreak. He scanned over your blood stained skin and uniform. He could only imagine how you felt pinned to that tree. Nine men had ambushed you. He never thought there would be so many people hunting you at once, nor did he think it would happen so soon. This was a mistake.

You saw the look on Kakashi’s face for what it was, your days outside the village walls were over.

“I believe Naruto was poisoned by the food they gave us.” you finally say, hoping it might help the situation. But Obito’s fury immediately undoes your efforts.

“How does he get himself fuckin poisoned,  Y/N?! He’s one of the strongest shinobi in the world but he can’t tell his food’s been poisoned?!” Obito is livid and he turns towards Kakashi. “If you had just listened to me this would’ve never happened! She’s lucky I showed up when I did!”

“You need to calm down Obito!” you shout. 

He’s only making the situation worse as you watch the wheels turn in Kakashi’s head. “You didn’t need to go into a full susanoo to cut down four men. Clearly you’re letting your emotions get the better of you!”

“And you need to stop being so calm about this, Princess! I told you that you were going to get yourself killed!”

“Well if that’s how you feel, then I guess you didn’t do a good enough job training me!”

“ENOUGH!” Kakashi was through listening to you bicker. “Obito, where is Naruto?”

“Probably back by the Stone.”

“When we’re done, go get him. He probably needs medical care.”

“Fine.”

“Y/N” You gulp. Your nerves are on edge. You still had so much adrenaline coursing through your body from the fight in the woods, not to mention your current confrontation. 

“You’re done going on missions.”

“Kakashi no!”

“It’s too dangerous. You’ve only done three visits and look what’s happened.”

“I’m not going back to my desk!”

“You are and you will! Look at yourself! Do you really think you can walk into my office covered in blood and expect me to keep sending you out of the village?!”

“That’s not fair! Obito’s the reason I was doused in blood! It wasn’t nearly as bad as it looks!”

“NINE ninja, Y/N! Nine!”

“Kashi-”

“Lord Sixth!”’ he corrects.

You fall silent. Was he seriously asking you to call him by his title right now?! A title to which he hates being called? Hell no. You chew on the inside of your cheek, brows furrowed as you pull your courage together.

“You know what ‘Lord Sixth’? I’m done.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Kakashi lets out an exasperated sigh, “Y/N-”

“No my Lord, I’m done. Accept my resignation and don’t bother chasing after me. We're through.”

Kakashi lifts his head as he is stunned into silence. He’s not sure if his heart is even beating as his brain contemplates your words.

You begin to cry as you talk, “After all the shit you put me through, I’m finally happy and you think you can just take it away after two missions?!”

“Y/N you almost died” Obito tries to help

“Stay out of this Obito! You’ve done enough!”

Obito quickly shrinks away, his eyes darting over to Kakashi, still frozen like a statue. His only movements come from the tears leaking out of the corners of his glazed eyes.

“This relationship is over.” A salty stream is freely pouring down your cheeks. “I can’t live like this anymore Kashi! I’m done.”

You run from his office towards your own. Rushing to go gather your things. You slam your office door open startling Shiho who was working late.

She shouts your name in surprise as she clutches her chest. The sight of your crimson body, blood dried everywhere except for a trail of clean skin carved down your cheeks by the hot tears falling from your eyes, was frightening. 

“I’ve resigned, Shiho. I’m sorry.”

“Y/N are you alright?”

You ignore her question and just gather your many textbooks in your arms. They were heavy but thanks to the adrenaline that had yet to expire, you’re able to carry them just fine. 

You storm out of headquarters and speed walk to your apartment, scaring several people in the streets as you go. With each step towards home you start to feel the tiredness creep in. Adrenaline finally slipping away.

For the first time in your life, you were without a job, a plan, or a goal. All you knew, as you sniffle back your emotions, is that this chapter with Kakashi is closed. 

********************************************

“Hi Ms. Sarutobi! You getting flowers for your mom again?”

You smile at little Mirai. She came into the Yamanaka flower shop at least twice a week to buy flowers for Kurenai. Her messy dark locks and chubby little cheeks were just the sweetest. She stopped by on her way home from preschool whenever she was thinking about her mom. Every time you look into her red eyes, you find yourself hoping that one day you have a kid as thoughtful as her.

“Yes Miss Yamanaka! Can I have camellias for my mommy and lilies for my daddy?”

“You going to visit daddy today too?”

“Yes miss!”

“Well tell him I say hi!” you chipper as you wrap both of the bouquets separately

“Okay Miss Yamanaka!”

“Have a good day!!” you wave as Mirai’s little body leaves your aunt’s flower shop. The bouquets standing nearly as tall as her. 

You have been working at the Yamanaka flower shop for the past few weeks. Taking on temporary pay while you figure out what you’re going to do long term. How drastically different your life is today than it was a year ago. What were you thinking trying to date someone like Kakashi? For someone so smart, how could you act like such an idiot? It was hard not to fall for the stupid silver-haired genius. He was everything you could’ve ever wanted... but at what cost?

The good news is that Kakashi had respected your request to not have him chase after you. He hadn’t tried to come talk to you or see you since the night of your resignation, which you appreciated. Despite initiating the break up, you were still utterly shattered over the entire ordeal. You didn’t think you had it in you to see how poorly Kakashi was probably doing right now. You know you hurt him. He had envisioned marrying you and honestly, you thought you would. The two of you had been together for over a year.

All this craziness started a year ago. 

It’s a wild thought to have. If you had just kept your hands to yourself…you’d probably have been a well respected department head instead of working at a flower shop. Or maybe if you had just chosen Obito when he first asked you on a date. How different would your life be?

You wipe off your hands and walk to the back of the flower shop to take a break. 

Come to think of it, you hadn’t seen Obito since the night of your resignation either. You would’ve thought he’d be the first one to knock on your door the second you and Kakashi called it quits. Perhaps his feelings for you were just born out of competition with Kakashi. That thought adds to the crushing weight over your heart.

Was none of it real? 

You’re lost in your thoughts for hours as you take care of the customers entering the shop. You paint a smile on your face while your melancholy brain churns in the background. 

Eventually you walk up to the door and flip the 'open' sign to 'close.' Wiping the sweat off your brow, you take off your apron, laying it on the counter and head to the back. As you disappear, you hear the bell ring behind you.

“Shop’s closed!” you sing to the stranger

“Come on, have a heart” you hear a familiar voice rasp. “I was looking for some flowers to apologize to a beautiful woman.”

“Obito?”

Your head perks up and you rush out onto the shop floor. He stands there as handsome as ever, scarred face looking a mix of cocky and sheepish. 

“Princess”

“Obito” your heart floods with warmth but then you remember what he said “So you-you’re getting flowers for your girlfriend?”

“Well she’s not my girlfriend, but someone I care about very much.”

“I see.” you say, slightly chewing on your lip as you look around at flowers you think would be appreciated by any woman waiting for an apology.

“So what’d you do that you need to apologize for?”

“I’m the reason she quit her job and broke up with her boyfriend.”

You stand up straight, your eyes flashing over to him. Obito strides up to you, standing dangerously close.

“Princess” he grabs your hand, holding it gingerly in his “I’m sorry. I freaked out when I saw you pinned against that tree and I-” he closes his eyes trying to force out the words, “I acted on emotion instead of what was best for you.”

Tears well up on your lash line before spilling out onto your cheeks. You had no idea how bad you needed to hear those words. 

“Obito…thank you.”

“I should’ve come sooner but I didn’t want to come when the break up was fresh. I-I wanted to give you time to heal. I’m so sorry that I contributed to your pain.”

You lunge forward, wrapping your arms around Obito’s neck, burying your face under his jaw. He wraps his arms around your waist holding you close. 

“Thank you Obito, I really needed to hear that.”

“I’m so sorry Princess. I would do anything to make you happy.”

“You’d do anything?”

“Anything” he breathes into your neck.

You lift your face so that your glassy eyes could stare into his chestnut ones. You stand there in silence, lost in each other's gaze when you see Obito’s eyes fall to your lips. Your mouth parts as you're about to speak when Obito closes his eyes and leans in for a kiss. 

Your eyes flutter closed as his lips crash into your’s. They’re soft but firm, working perfectly against your own. You can sense the faint smell of a campfire mixing with his musk. The trademark of an Uchiha’s fire nature. His lips move slowly, savoring your taste, not wanting to rush anything about this moment. He inhales deeply, and in doing so, not only allows your pheromones to consume him but take control. 

He starts to suck on your bottom lip, pulling a small moan from you as you open your mouth, allowing the kiss to deepen, pushing your tongue into his cavern. He grants you access with a quiet moan of his own. The sound leaving you dizzy. Your tongues dance together as sparks fly between you. It feels like time is slowing down but your pulse still quickens. One hand travels up to his unkempt mane while the other digs into the muscles of his back. He grunts and steers you into the nearby wall, slamming you up against it as he continues to explore the inside of your mouth with his pink muscle. 

One of his hands travels down to your hip and rubs light circle over it, occasionally allowing his fingers to sink into the flesh of your behind as he presses his pelvis into yours. The sounds of his satisfied humming ring loudly in your ears. The noises and feelings of being desired so primally fill you with lust. He had wanted this for so many months and now you were finally giving it to him. Allowing him to taste the fruit that had been forbidden for so long. The way his body responded to yours fueled your veins with fervor. 

Obito pulls your leg up to wrap around his waist as he continues to grind into you. Lips never breaking from the heated kiss you share. You can feel the bulge in his pants begin to grow. It presses harder and harder against your center and you begin to drool thinking about how it would feel between your legs. Your soft moans grow needier and Obito can’t help himself. He grabs both of your hands, stealing them from off his body and lacing his fingers with yours. He slams the back of your hands up against the wall behind you. 

Your leg falls from his waist and lands outside his leg. Desperate for friction you begin to rub against his thigh. His kiss has you worked up and you feel the arousal form from the coiling in your core.

Obito smiles into the kiss. 

“Geez Princess. You feelin that desperate that you're trying to get off on my knee?”

“Yes” you pant, “need…more”

Obito begins to rock his leg up and down, rutting it up between your legs as you grind your folds against him. Slick is seeping out into your underwear as you let the fabric covering your sex tug at your clit. Losing all sense of shame, you moan loudly into his mouth, grinding harshly against him. 

Obito feels as if he’s died and gone to heaven. You on the other hand hadn’t been touched since before your last mission. It had been nearly two months without so much as self gratification and now that someone was paying attention to you, you were greedily chasing your high. But this wasn’t just someone; this was Obito. A man who loves you, who’s saved you, who takes care of you when you need him. You begin to fiend for him. Your arms struggle against the wall wanting to grab him, scratch and claw at his back, pull his hair, but Obito’s grip only tightens as a smug chuckle leaves his lips. 

“Never thought I’d see the day where you want me more than I want you... I’m going to enjoy this.”

Your breathing labors, you’re kissing him harder, pushing your chest into him. You were straining to soak up as much of him as possible, needing to fuse his body with yours. Your mind was swimming with lust as you felt the familiar build in your center. The spring coiled tighter and the intensity of your motions grew until the coil finally snapped.

Your breathing hitched as your walls clenched around nothing. Your heart racing fast in your chest as you fall limp against his muscular body.

Obito brings your arms back to his neck as his finger moves under your jaw, lifting your chin so that you are looking up at him again. 

“I hope you weren’t going to get yourself off and just leave me like this.” He says as he seductively pushes his erection into you. An involuntary moan passes your lips and your eyes slightly cross at the thought of him inside of you. 

“I’ll take that as a no.” he chuckles, “You weren’t going to forget about me.”

You feel your very mushy mind further dissolve into soup as his raspy tone resonates in your ear. Fuck, he’s so hot. How did you resist him all this time? How much loyalty must you have had for Kakashi to not allow yourself to fall helplessly into Obito’s web? It didn’t matter anymore, you were free to get caught in his snare and be devoured by him.

You close your eyes and lean into his mouth, taking custody of his bottom lip between your teeth and pulled back. As it slips from your grasp you open your eyes and with a serious glare you whisper two words Obito’s only heard in his dreams, “Take me.”

Obito’s eyes flash from brown to red as his sharingan takes over and his breathing becomes heavy. He lifts you, wrapping your legs around his waist and carries you over to the flower shop counter, setting you down and tearing off your clothes.

His mouth is all over yours in a much sloppier kiss as he rids your delicate frame of the concealing fabric. You claw off his shirt, anxious to lick and nip as the muscle underneath. The more skin that’s exposed, the more your lips stray from his mouth, tracing along his jaw, his scars and the column of his neck. You were sucking and biting and marking him without shame or care of who might see his bruises. The sexiest moans come from him each time you release your mouth after leaving a new mark. The slick already dripping out of your bare cunt puddles on the countertop with each sound from his lips. 

Your hands make quick work of the front of his pants, pulling them down so that his hardened member springs out, slapping him in his abdomen. You bite your lip as your eyes widen in hunger, looking down on his manhood. 

White precum oozes at the tip, leaking out a physical sign of his immense desire. You smear it with your thumb before bringing it to your mouth. Looking Obito dead in the eyes as you suck it off your thumb. He swears his heart stops as he watches your lips wrap around the digit and sees your cheeks hollow. 

His jaw drops and his breathing becomes ragged. Your hands return to his erection, holding him at the base as you drop a glob of spit on his tip, letting it drip down before stroking him.  Your spit acts to lubricate your hand as you tug along his shaft. Obito pulls his bottom lip into his mouth, dying to close his eyes from the blissful pleasure of your small hands wrapped around his length but he can’t bring himself to look away. 

As your hands graze up and down you admire the curve of his member and the large veins running its course. You imagine how his shape will feel buried inside of you. How it will brush against all those spots that bring tears to your eyes. Before you realize it, a drop of drool falls from your lips and you quickly look up to see if Obito noticed. Your eyes are met with his and the cockiest smirk stretches his lips. 

“You droolin over my cock, Princess?”

A flush covers your cheeks and you mumble, “Maybe a little.”

You cast your eyes down in embarrassment when Obito’s hand fists your hair and pulls back till your gaze meets his intense carmine stare. 

“What was that?” he rasps

You swallow as you stare down your nose into his hungry glare

“Yes sir. I was drooling over your cock.”

Obito licks his teeth before his seductive smile splits his face. Keeping his tight grip on your hair, he leans into your ear and hums. “Don’t worry baby, you can have this cock all to yourself.”

“Thank you sir”

Obito’s eyes close as he groans at your words. He kicks his pants off the rest of the way and slots his manhood between your lower lips, sliding in its entirety with no preparation needed. You were sopping wet, anxious to have him inside of you and it was everything he made it seem in his genjutsu. 

Just the insertion alone stole your breath and formed a creamy ring around his base. 

“Gods damn, Princess. So fuckin tight” 

Obito’s breathing was labored by the feeling of finally, finally having your walls restrict around him. It was better than any dream he had or any genjutsu he conjured. This was the most surreal moment of his existence. He pulls your forehead up to his and rests them together. 

“I love you y/n, I fuckin love you with every fiber of my being.” There it is. The words he’s been dying to tell you. The ones dancing on the tip of his tongue for months. He finally said them out loud.

“Obito I-”

But you don’t have a chance to finish because he pulls you into another heated kiss. One hand tangled in your hair, the other wrapped around your upper body, pulling you into him as he begins to stroke in and out of you. You start to moan into his mouth from the strokes. It felt so sinfully good. His tip brushes all the right places and his girth stretches you wide. You feel stuffed full and you can’t get enough of him.

“M’gonna take care of this cute pussy and give her all the attention she deserves.”

“Yes sir, thank you”

“Keep callin me sir and I won’t be able to control myself, Princess.”

Obito’s strokes become harsher causing you to flail your head back in bliss, loud moans spilling from your open mouth.

His harsh snaps increase in speed and your brows pinch together in agonizing pleasure. “I’m sorry sir!” you cry as you lose all dignity. “I just want you to keep stuffing me with your cock.”

Animalistic grunts rumble from Obito’s chest, his pace quickening. The slapping sounds of his balls beating against your wet cheeks fill the room. Your creamy arousal seeping out and coating everything between your thighs, his entire pelvis, the entirety of your rear, and a good portion of the counter. You’re consumed by desire and can’t help the deadly grip it has over your body. 

Obito’s speed picks up another notch and your eyes roll to the back of your head. Your body falls limp on the counter as you’re fucked stupid on his length. Each of Obito’s hands grab both of your breasts as he uses them as leverage for his thrusts. Your body bounces off of Obito’s hips with each collision but he holds you at the counter’s edge by the grip on your tits. 

His face dives into your chest, licking and sucking on each nipple as if it were his to own. He’d teeth on one while his fingers rolled the other causing you to choke on your own groans. It was filthy the way you consumed each other. The long build up of sexual tension all spilling out here on the flower shop counter. 

While still sucking on your nipple, he shifted one of your legs over his shoulder to deepen the angle. You gasped at how far he reached, his tip brushing all the right spots. You fear your eyes might permanently cross from the pleasure. Rhythmic moans are pushed out of you to the beat of Obito’s hips. Your hands clutching onto his midnight strands, nails digging into his scalp as his tongue unrelentingly laps at your buds. 

“Obito I-I’m gonna-m’gonna…”

“Say it pretty girl. Use your words.”

“M’gonna cum!”

Almost as if granting you permission, Obito pistons into you at rapid fire not just pushing you over the edge but launching you there. He wraps one arm around the back of your neck and the other pinches one of your nipples, tugging it harshly. When you cum it sprays out like a geyser, soaking his chest and dripping down his legs. You had made a huge mess and it thrilled him. 

He pulls out of you to lap at your sex. His tongue poking in and scooping out the mix of cum and spray, feasting on your labia like a man starved. It was overstimulating and you were flinching and spasming with each minute movement. 

“Obiiiiiii” you scream

Your entire core tenses up, you abdominals become sore from how tight you're squeezing. 

“Please!”

You’re thrashing from sensitivity but his grip around your legs only increases. He restrains you with all his strength, too lost in his own ambitions to let you slip away. He’s gone deaf to your cries. All his senses honed in on your taste. How soft your skin is against his tongue, how sweet your creamy cum is. He licks in and around your entire sex, consuming as much of your essence as he can. 

When he’s finally full he flips you over like a doll and sinks in from behind. Your eyes once again crossing from how his curve hits your squishy spots. Your panting and out of breath. You’re not sure how much more of this you can take but he’s not gonna stop till he gets his fill. He’s been waiting months for this moment. His unrequited love finally reciprocated. 

He starts out slow, rolling his hips gently into yours. His still soaked front soiling your backside with each kiss of his pelvis. Every time he buried himself up to the hilt a guttural groan is pressed out of your diaphragm playing like music against his ear drum. 

“Obi…thank…you.”

You say it in a soft tired whisper and a switch inside him flips.

His hands perched on your hips, grip you tightly as he begins to slam into you. Each collision sending a ripple of shockwaves through the flesh of your behind.

“Spread your cheeks.”

“Yes sir.”

Obito once more groans at the moniker. He shifts his hands up to your shoulders, giving him better leverage as you bounce off his thighs. He looks down watching how he disappears inside of you and it is a vision he will ingrain into his memory forever. He feels how his core tightens as he watches the wet slick coating his member grow more and more glossy. 

Your cheek laying against the cool countertop is pried away by Obito’s hand slipping around your neck. His grip tightens and you gasp at the restriction, your fingers sinking deeper into your own spread cheeks. 

Obito looks down noticing your neglected back door and spits on the puckered hole. He removes his other hand from your shoulder, trailing a finger down your spine all the way to where the spit pools at your sphincter. Chills populate down your spinal column as an involuntary whine slips past your throat. His constant pounding keeping your abdomen wound tight. 

He pushes his finger in as you hiss, clenching around him in response. An amused hum flushes out of him as he begins to rim you. You cry his name between gasps of pleasure and he sinks his finger in deeper. He strokes it in and out of you till he finds where your walls clamp down on him and he begins to focus on that spot.

Stroking slightly with his finger and timing it with the thrusts of his pelvis. You dissolve into a babbling mess, nothing but a heap of flesh existing in this moment for Obito to use as he pleases. He tightens his grip on your neck, cutting off your nonsensical noises as he snaps into you impossibly fast. Your nails dig into your own skin leaving behind scratch marks on your backside as you cream around him, toppling over into another orgasm.

Watching the accumulation of your cum at his base spurs Obito on and he loses all control. He pulls his finger out of your rear and sinks his clutches back in your hair. He yanks on it, lifting your chest and arching your back like his personal whore. You lose grip of your cheeks and slam your palms against the countertop, supporting your weight as Obito pounds into you with his entire being, completely lost inside your velvet walls. 

You scream as another intense orgasm wreaks havoc over your body and you spray everywhere. Obito looks down at the puddle you’ve created and shouts, “Fuck!” 

He closes his eyes and grunts. His thighs clench as the tightness in his core breaks. His moans are deafening as he empties himself inside of you. Erratic strokes milking himself within your spasming walls.

“Shit. Fuck. Shit. I’m so sorry, Princess. I didn’t mean to bust in you like that.”

He pulls himself out quickly, shuttering at how his fast retreat brushed his sensitive tip, continuing to stroke himself so the rest of his cum empties on your backside.

“No.” you tiredly pant. “It’s okay. I’m on birth control.”

“Thank gods. I’m sorry, I got carried away.”

You stand on shaking legs to turn to him, grabbing his shoulders for stability. You breathily smile, tired eyes beaming at him. “It’s okay, really. I got carried away too.”

Just as you finish your sentence your legs give out and Obito catches you. 

“Is there a bathroom or something we can clean ourselves off in?”

“Yeah, there’s one in the back.”

Obito scoops you up bridal style and carries you through your aunt’s shop to the bathroom, setting you down to help clean your sex and legs. Obito wipes off his chest, pelvis and thighs before picking you up again and carrying you to your clothes. He sits you down in a nearby chair, dressing you like a helpless fragile being. Kissing each part of your body before covering it with cloth. 

Once you are decent, he goes and dresses himself, then heads back to the bathroom to get towels to clean up the mess on the shop’s counter and floor. You blush deeply as Obito remarks how much you squirted, forcing him to go retrieve additional towels. 

You begin to swing your legs in the chair as you watch him. Eyes soaking up his muscular frame as he attentively mops up your mess. 

When he is done, he turns to you. You notice how his eyes have turned back to their soft brown color. The intensity is gone and his loving nature returns, gushing from his very pores. He leans down and pecks your cheek. 

“So where do we go from here?”

“I think for now, we go home.”

“Who’s home?”

“Mine of course.” you say with an innocent smile

Obito kisses your forehead. “Do you have any belongings you need to bring with you?”

“My pack is over there.”

He reaches over and grabs your bag, slinging it over his shoulder as he picks you up once more and uses Kamui to bring you home. He lowers you down onto your bed and plants a tender kiss on your lips before letting you go. 

“I’m kinda hungry. You mind if we eat?”

“Sure Princess, what do you want?”

“We don’t have to go anywhere. I have leftovers in the fridge. Is that alright?”

“Of course.”

“You like dumplings?”

“They’re my favorite.”

You blush. “I guess that’s what they call serendipity.”

“I guess it is.”

You guide Obito over to your kitchen, holding his hand as you take out the dumplings and heat them up. Obito stands behind you the entire time, hugging you, unable to let you go. He was incredibly clingy but after these lonely weeks you welcomed it. 

Once done eating you lay on the couch together, resting in Obito’s arms without the guilt of your feelings for Kakashi laying over your heart. Yes you still loved him but you weren’t built to date a celebrity. A normal relationship is what you need and Obito can give that to you. You nestle deeper into him, enjoying the bliss of something new. 

Eventually you drag yourselves off the couch and get ready for bed. You phish out a new toothbrush for him to borrow and he strips down to his briefs, using them as his pajamas. You can’t help but ogle at how the gray spandex stretches over his bulge. He was definitely a shower, not a grower, and it was an arousing detail to note. 

The two of you crawl into your bed, him spooning you from behind. As Obito wraps his arms around you, pulling you into his chest, he thinks about how this was the happiest day of his existence. He knows he’ll never allow himself to forget it. Obito nudges your neck with his nose as he settles against you, the smell of your shampoo filling his nostrils and lulling him off to sleep. A deep satisfying and peaceful sleep that both of you found yourselves desperately needed.

**********************************************

The morning sun filters through your curtains, splashing its rays over your faces. You squint as you look over your shoulder at Obito resting so peacefully behind you. You softly roll over in his arms, trying to get a better look at him. 

Your fingerpads trailed along the scarlines of his face that tore deep into his skin yet added so much character to his square jawline. Your eyes flitted over his shaggy tuft of raven hair that never seemed to be combed down. But if you’re being honest with yourself, you preferred it that way. Your eyes then follow your hand as it grazes over his bicep. You notice the blend of white skin with his nude tone and marvel at the power of Hashiraman cells. Your fingertips begin to trace the veins that span the course of his arms, feeding oxygen to the bulky muscle built upon every bone in his body. The man was more in shape than Kakashi, which was saying something. 

You folded your arms in between your chests and continued to gaze up at him. How could a man be so intimidating to everyone he meets yet to you he is nothing but warmth? You bury your face into his chest, not ready to wake up yet. You want to lay just a little longer in his arms before you begin your shift at the shop. 

As you rest your head against his chest you hear him softly moan and tighten his embrace. It makes you smile knowing how happy Obito is to be sharing this moment with you. The love of an Uchiha is a powerful force. It’s hard to push away feelings so strong. To finally accept his affection felt easy and right. You just wish you could stop thinking about Kakashi. It hurt so much to even think his name. Yet everytime you open your eyes to look up at Obito, you see a reflection of Kakashi in his features. 

“Mmmm…” you hear the grumbling of his groggy voice as he squeezes you during his morning stretch. 

“Obi!” you squeal. 

“Sorry Princess. Don’t wanna let go.” he sleepily says as he rubs his cheek against your hair. 

“I don’t wanna get up either but I have to go to work in a few hours.”

“Perfect. We can cuddle for a few hours.”

You giggle at his neediness. “No, I have chores to do, Obi. I can’t lay in bed!”

“Lies. There’s no chores.”

“Obi…” you try to tickle him but he only squeezes you tighter. “Obi” you kiss his jaw. “I’d love” another kiss to his neck “to say and cuddle but” you kiss him one final time, “I have things to get done.”

“Do we have to get up?”

“Yes Obi” you giggle again. 

Why is he so cute?

You squirm out of his arms and start getting dressed for the day. He lays in your bed and watches you. It’s not till you say that you need to shower that he fully gets out of bed, insisting that he needs to join you to ‘conserve water.’ After a little bit of fooling around, you finally get clean and dry off, ready to get started on your to-do list after a spot of breakfast. While finishing your food Obito suddenly changes the course of the conversation.

“Princess, when are you going to get a real job?”

You give Obito a bit of a glare for his phrasing of the question.

“Well, I haven’t quite decided what I’m doing yet. However, I’m very tempted by Lord Garra’s offer. I even visited the Sand last week to look at potential housing.”

Obito felt his heart drop to his stomach. 

“You’re moving to the Sand?!”

“Well, it’s that or learn a whole new trade.”

“But you don’t need to go to the Sand to do translations! You can do that here at the Leaf!”

“I can’t Obi. You know that.”

“You can’t run away to the Sand just to avoid your ex boyfriend, Princess! Stop acting like a child!”

“I’m not acting like a child! I’m accepting a higher position with better pay! It’s a promotion and if you love me as much as I think you do, you’d be proud!”

“But…” He doesn’t want to say it but he can’t handle the idea of you running away just when he finally got you. 

“You can visit me. You can teleport into the village whenever you want.”

“I’m not supposed to do that though. It could cause an international incident.”

“It hasn’t stopped you before.”

“That was different.”

“Was it?”

“Yes Princess! It was!”

“Obito, what’s the big deal?!”

“The big deal is your leaving! And over what?! Some drama with Kakashi!”

“It wasn’t just some drama Obito! You know that better than anyone else!”

Obito goes quiet before he speaks again

“Am I ever going to be enough?”

“What?” You felt disarmed by his question

“Enough for you to be happy? Enough for you to stay?”

His eyes look up at you, their full intensity boring into your stare. You don’t know what to say. Work is important to you. You don’t want to sacrifice it again. Especially not over a guy, not a second time. 

“Obito…It’s not about if you’re enough. It’s about not repeating the same mistakes.”

“I…I um,” Obito is trying to hide his hurt but he feels the sudden need to be alone. “I’ll see you later, okay Princess?”

“Obito, I’m sorry!”

“We’ll talk later, okay?”

“Obito, please don’t leave.”

“Have a good day, Princess.”

He kisses the top of your head as he hugs you goodbye, ignoring your pleas to stay. 

“Obito, wait!”

He closes the door and disappears, making a quick exit to avoid further hurt. You sit at your table a mess of emotions. 

This morning had been so good. Why did he have to ask that stupid question?

You grab the plates off the table and go to deposit them in the sink before heading out to run your errands feeling your chest tighten as you think about Obito.

************************************************

Kakashi is back at headquarters holding an intelligence briefing with the elders, Sasuke, and your replacement. Lady Tsunade joins them after finally making it back to the village after an extended trip around the great nations, enjoying her retirement. Having nearly a year’s worth of events to catch up on, she was naturally invited. 

“We believe these markings on the wall of the temple speak of a second divine tree that will be planted after a century.” The new intelligence officer states, “Based on the age, we believe that is only a few years away.”

“That’s very troublesome news. And we’re sure the translation is accurate?” Lord Hamura asks

“Admittedly we’re not. It was the best we could do with the resources we have.”

“What does Y/N think?” Lady Tsunade interjects

Kakashi scratches his temple and casts his eyes towards the floor.

“What? Did something happen?”

Sasuke clears his throat and speaks on Kakashi’s behalf. “She quit a few weeks back.”

“She what?!”

“She was unhappy about being taken off active duty after there was an incident with the Stone.”

“Why was she on active duty to begin with?! She was supposed to be Department Head!”

Tsunade’s anger towards the news of your resignation was only made worse by the confusion she felt. Lady Koharu speaks up to clarify. 

“Well actually, after it was revealed that she was in a romantic partnership with Lord Sixth we had told her we could no longer accept her candidacy.”

“You WHAT?!”

Tsunade’s fuse was short and the news of everything that happened while she was away enjoying her retirement had it lit.

“It was a conflict of interest.”

“You IDIOTS! She’s the most talented linguist in the five great nations and you care about who she’s dating?!”

“As you can see, we were right to worry. She didn’t respond well to direct orders from Lord Sixth when it came to her last mission.”

“Well you see Lady Koharu, that was-” Kakashi barely had the strength to say the words out loud, “That was my fault.”

Tsunade stands to her full height, anger feuling her words, “You numbskull geezers fail to see the full picture. Who cares who she seeing? We need her! Kakashi, you better prepare to beg.”

“Lady Fifth, I-I don’t think she’ll hear what I have to say right now.”

“Fine. I guess it’s up to me to fix the mess you three created.” The look of fire in her eyes has the entire room uneasy “She’s going to be Department Head. If that’s what it takes to get her back, that’s what she’ll get. She deserves the position anyways.”

The elders shrink before Tsunade as they nod in agreement. 

Feeling the matter was settled Tsunade left the meeting to go find you and rectify the situation. 

****************************************************

You're cutting the stems off a new batch of flowers in the back of the shop when you hear the bell ring. “Ino, can you get that?” 

You overhear the sound of female voices followed by footsteps heading in your direction. “Ino, what is…it?”

Your words trail off as you realize Lady Fifth is standing before you. 

“Lady Tsunade, to what do I owe the honor?” you bow your head as you address her.

“Oh drop the formalities, Y/N. We’ve worked together enough.”

“I’m sorry, but why are you here?”

“To bring you back, of course?”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“Don’t play stupid. We need you back at headquarters.”

“I’m sorry. I know you have been gone a long time so you don’t understand, but I’m quite happy with my decision to leave.”

“Y/N, we need you. We cannot investigate the Otsusuki without you.”

“I’m sure Sasuke is doing just fine.”

“Y/N, your mind is quintessential to the success of our intelligence team. Come back to headquarters.”

“Lady Tsunade...”

“Y/N, I’m not taking no for an answer.”

“I can’t…after everything that’s happened.”

“You’ll be Department Head.”

“Wha…” The word gets caught in your throat. Disbelief widened your eyes. “The elders-”

“Have spoken. As a village advisor myself, I have every right to contribute to this decision and the elders agree with me. Like I said, I’m not taking no for an answer here.”

“You’ll-you’ll give me the job, just like that?”

“You earned it. It was never going to belong to anyone else.”

“Lady Fifth, I-I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you’ll take it.”

“Y-yes, yes, of course, I’ll take it!”

“Good. I intend to stop by your new office on Monday. Make sure you’re there.”

“Yes ma’am”

With your confirmation, Lady Tsunade pressed an office key into your hand and retired from the shop. 

You were left feeling a whirl of emotions. You weren’t looking forward to seeing Kakashi again, or working for him, but you did need the pay and it was your dream job. One you had spent five years working towards. The promotion that was rightfully yours now actually is! Kakashi drama aside, you hold the key to your chest and squeal in excitement. 

You need to find Shiho and celebrate.

**********************************************

A bit hungover after a late night out with Shiho, you drag your feet across the village carrying your box of textbooks and office decorations. You wished you were on better terms with Obito so he could just Kamui you to the building but you hadn’t seen him yet to tell him the good news. 

You fear you broke him yesterday morning with all that talk of going to the Sand. You want to find him and tell him you’re not leaving. Tell him you’re going to face Kakashi and start fresh as Department Head. But alas, it is Saturday morning so he wasn’t going to be at headquarters. Who knows where he spends his time beyond headquarters, missions, and bothering you... 

In your new office, you lift the picture frame of you and Shiho from the Gala out of the box. It really was a beautiful dress you wore. You don’t think you ever felt prettier than you did that night. You grab another frame out the box. This one is brand new. It was a picture of you and Shiho from last night. 

Is it professional to have a picture of yourself drunk on your work desk? Absolutely not. But is it a core memory you want to look at whenever you are stressed? Yes. 

As you set the frame down you hear a man walking down the hallway. You notice his footsteps and your eyes lift just in time to see a white mane come to a halt in your doorway.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

Part 15 Masterlist

[shaybreezy-17]

Zoro’s First Time

(Zoro x F!Reader)

TW: Explicit content (smut), suggestive behavior, inappropriate language, potential substance use.

Reader discretion advised.

For ages: 18+

———————————————————————

You sat outside on the deck, a bottle in your hand. You weren’t even close to drunk, just properly buzzed, hoping to grow tired soon.

It was deep into the night, maybe 1 A.M., if you could guess. Everyone had just gone to bed, but not you.

You were fairly new to the Straw Hats and you guys just got back from a particularly intense adventure. You were glad to be part of the crew, but you couldn’t shake all of the pain and bloodshed you and everyone around you endured throughout your recent battle.

A shiver rolled down your spine as you pictured your Captain, Luffy, unconscious. He was utterly exhausted, despite the fight being a couple days ago now. It was now day 3, and he was still out like a light.

You bit back tears, trying not to think about the beatings you took yourself. Your body was in pain, but you felt you had no place to complain as you didn’t have it nearly as bad as most of the others.

Placing your thoughts on the back burner, you got up from the floor of the deck. After grabbing another beer from the kitchen, you decided to pay Zoro a visit in the crows nest where he liked to keep watch.

You figured it wouldn’t hurt, since neither of you could sleep anyway. That, and, the fact that you secretly found Zoro attractive.

When you got to the door, you stood there for a moment, taking a deep breath. You hoped he wouldn’t be annoyed by you stopping by, but you kept your expectations 6 feet under, because you never know with the grumpy Swordsman.

You slowly opened the door. Zoro, who was facing away from you, whipped his head around, hand reaching for the swords attached to his hip.

“Oh, it’s just you.” He said, voice monotone. His body eased up and the grip around his swords loosened. “Did you need something, Y/N?”

“No, I just wanted to check up on you.” You smiled. “Brought you a beer.”

“Uh, thank you.” He replied, reluctantly taking the beer from your hand. “But I’m doing fine.”

“I also can’t sleep, so I was kinda hoping for some company.” You walked over, sitting next to him.

He awkwardly shifted away from you, just a tad. Ouch.

“Do you have an issue with me, Zoro?” Your voice deepened. The Swordsman was definitely taking longer to warm up to you compared to everyone else in the crew and you wanted to know if it was just how he was or if he genuinely didn’t like you.

He glanced over at you, expression hardening. “I never said I did. But you came in here to check on me like I’d need saving from someone like you.”

“Someone like me?” Your eyebrow raised so far up into your forehead, it was sure to have left a wrinkle. “What the hell does that mean?”

“You wouldn’t be able to do much with your size and strength. If anything, I’d be the one saving you.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“First of all, I’m nowhere near weak and petite, you just have enough strength to make any girl feel small around you…” You paused, expression softening. “Look, Zoro, I know I’m only a few weeks into the crew and you probably see me as a worthless addition, but I’m gonna prove myself, kay? Just take a chance on me.”

His eyes failed to meet mine. He looked down at his swords, fiddling with the handles. “If there’s a reason Luffy wants you here, I have no objections.”

“That’s it?” you blurted out, almost way too fast.

“I saw you fighting out there.” He smirked. “You’re feisty, I’ll give you that.”

Your cheeks felt hot. “Oh, thanks. I was pretty terrified. I’m sure you could see that too.”

“At least you’re not dead.” He replied, expressionless once again.

“I saw you too, Zoro. I’d say you’ve really mastered the art of Swordsmanship.” You said, offering a warm smile.

“No, not yet. Not until I become the worlds greatest.” He sunk into his seat, running his hand through his green hair.

You took this opportunity to scoot a bit closer to him. “That’s been your main focus for so long now you probably don’t get to enjoy things most people your age do.” You whispered.

To your surprise, he didn’t scoot away. “Well, I drink like everyone else. There’s not much else to it.”

“That’s true but, have you ever been in love?” You bit your lip in anticipation, hoping you hadn’t gone too far.

“Me? Never.” His gaze sharpened. “Love would distract me from being the greatest swordsman in the world.”

“Okay, I can see your point. What about more physical types of activities?”

“Like sports?”

“Mm, no. Like physical activities involving two people…” You wondered if his cluelessness would prevail.

“Like a battle?” He raised his eyebrow in confusion. “I battle all the time, I thought you knew this by now?”

“Oh gosh.” You sighed, facepalming. “Sex, Zoro. I mean sex.”

His eyes widened, face turning slightly red. “Why would you assume I haven’t?”

“What? No, no.” You threw your hands up in the air feigning innocence. “I don’t think you’re a virgin or anything but I’m sure it’s been a while…”

“I’ve never done it before. I’ve been training ever since I was little so I’ve never had time for that.” He admitted.

Your eyes fell to the floor. “Oh.”

“Is that a problem for you?” He asked, seemingly offended.

“No, not at all. I just wonder how much better your workouts would benefit you if you were sexually active.” You shifted closer to him, resting your body against his side.

“What do you mean?” He asked, genuinely confused. The poor moss head was clueless.

“I mean there’s tons of benefits to having sex. For one, it relieves pain.” You ran your finger across his chest, tracing his scar. “It eases stress.” He watched you, intently. “The sleep afterward is heavenly…” Your finger dipped down to his tree trunk of a thigh. “I mean, the list goes on.”

“So, would this help me become a better swordsman?” He asked, bulge aching with an unfamiliar sensation.

“I mean, don’t take my word for it, I’m not a scientist or anything. It’s just word of mouth…” You tried to speak casually, but you had an ache between your legs too.

You couldn’t take it anymore. You propped yourself on his lap, facing him.

“Hey?! Y/N! What are you doing?” His cheeks were pink, but his expression showed surprise and anger.

“Eh hem” You cleared your throat. “Roronoa Zoro, may I please, have the honor of having sex with you?”

“Eh?!” His eyes grew so wide they were practically popping out of his skull. “Y/N, are you okay? What’s gotten into you?”

You rolled your eyes. “Zoro, I’ve been into you since I first met you but you’re too clueless to see that!” You threw your hands up in the air, still on his lap. “I don’t expect a relationship or anything, I know you’re too focused on being the best swordsman. But, who says we can’t be intimate from time to time?”

“I’m not someone you should be into.” He retorted, raising his eyebrow. “But, if you feel us being intimate will help me improve…” His eyes shot to the floor.

“I do. But, I also don’t want to push you!” You replied. “If you’d like to do this with me, I’d love to, but I’m fine with waiting until you’re ready if it’s not now.” You smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder.

His expression softened, you watched his eyes trail along your body. You’d never seen Zoro look at a woman for this long before…

His hands lightly rested on your hips. “Well my shirt is already off, Y/N…”

You blushed, pulling your top over your head, taking it off. You had no bra on so you felt extra exposed.

His eyes focused on your nipples. You grabbed his hands and guided them along your body until they reached your breasts.

Zoro’s expression was unreadable, but the hardness of his dick below you wasn’t.

“You can squeeze if you’d like.” You whispered.

He silently nodded, cupping your boobs, squeezing here and there. You leaned forward for him to suck on them, to which he complied.

As you leaned forward, Zoro slid your pants and panties down to your knees, while you were still straddling him. You gasped in surprise.

With your nipple still in his mouth, he fumbled eagerly with the waste-band in his pants and pulled his dick out, slapping it against your already soaking wet pussy.

“Wait Zoro!” You yelped, stifling a moan. “I wanna be your first for something else first, too!”

You got off of him and he watched you in silence, confused.

You fell to your knees and took his pants and boxers off completely. Sitting on your knees, propped between his legs, you bent forward taking his dick deeply into your mouth.

It was long and more importantly, thick.

Zoro couldn’t help it. He threw his head back, letting out a loud groan. You sucked just enough for him to edge and then you stopped once you felt his dick throb in your throat.

He propped his head up to look at you in confusion and annoyance. “What was that for? I was almost there…”

You giggled, taking your pants off all the way, clumsily and propping yourself back on to his lap. “You’re so cute when you’re whiny.”

“Hey! I’m not-”

And with that, you slid yourself on to his dick, not even letting him finish his sentence.

“Fuck, Y/N!” He groaned. You rode him even faster, feeling the vibration of your cheeks jiggle up and down as you bounced on his cock. “You’re gonna pay for this.”

His hands flew to your ass, gripping it helplessly. Drool was pooling at the sides of his mouth as he bit his lip, desperately trying not to whimper but he didn’t know how much more he could take.

Without thinking, he flipped you over so you were under him. He knew if you kept riding him, he would’ve came then and there so he had to take control of the situation.

He pinned your arms above your head as he pounded into you. You hoped the loud squeaking of the booth wouldn’t wake the whole crew up, but your moans might’ve already done it first.

He was showing no mercy. With every thrust, you felt your pussy tighten around him, with a burning sensation building up within your whole body. You let out a string of breathy moans that Zoro quickly covered with the one hand that wasn’t holding yours above your head.

You were in complete, total bliss. He was fucking you like a jackrabbit and you were surely going to be sore for the next week at least, but it hurt so good. He had found your g-spot for what felt like ages ago, so it was just a matter of how many times he could make you cum now. Your pussy was a sopping mess at this point, your body spasmed as you squirmed under him, but his grip on your arms was firm. You were probably on your 4th orgasm in a row, as tears ran down your face and the sweat on your forehead made your hair stick to it.

Letting go of your mouth and arms, he shifted his body forward so it was fully hovering over you. His pace slowed as his face was in the crook of your neck, breath hot and heavy.

You relaxed under him, half dick drunk. He kept a slow, consistent pace and you could tell he was finally close to being done. He peppered kisses along your neck, making your entire body shiver. As you wrapped your legs around him tightly, you searched for his lips. You tugged on his hair, causing a moan to escape his lips as he lifted his head up to look at you. You reached up to pull his face back down to yours, sharing a kiss. For someone who might’ve never kissed before, or done anything for that matter, he was making you feel amazing.

As you came down from another blissful orgasm, he followed closely behind, letting out a string of moans and groans before collapsing on top of you.

“I can’t believe it took you that long to cum for your first time!” you whined, out of breath.

“I came earlier too, what do you mean?” He asked, scratching his forehead, in confusion as he sat up.

“You came more than once?” You smirked, but then the realization hit. “INSIDE ME?!”

“Yeah? It felt so good, I couldn’t help it.” He rolled his eyes. “Besides, I did say you were gonna pay for riding me like that…”

“Zoro! What if I get pregnant? That’s how babies are made, ya know!” You yelled, examining the glistening folds between your legs.

He hovered his face down to meet your pussy. It looked as though he was examining it. “It’s all dripping out anyway. Should we take you to Chopper and see if he can make a pregnancy blocking medicine or something?”

“That’s so embarrassing, though!” You whined, cheeks turning a deeper shade of red at the thought of Chopper telling the rest of the Straw Hats that you and Zoro went to visit him because you were scared he put a literal baby in you. You could imagine the uproar in the ship and the look on their faces. Neither of you would hear the end of it! “They’ll all find out what we did…”

He laughed, picking your body up and placing you over him in a bridal style position. You both laid naked in each other’s arms, silence being the only thing between you two. “Yeah, it probably wouldn’t be a good idea having the rest of the crew know about this…” He finally let out.

You nodded in agreement. “I know… But, Zoro?”

“Yes?”

“I like you.” You bit your lip trying not to bounce of the damn walls with the anxiety welling up inside you. “If we can do this in secret, why can’t you be with me in secret?”

“I-I, Hmm” He paused, as if thinking about what to say next. “I guess I could. You definitely make me feel different than any other woman in my life has…”

He looked at you, with gleaming eyes. You’d never seen Zoro have so much expression in his face before, other than when he was angry. You cupped his face, and leaned in for another kiss, to which is surprisingly obliged.

“You’re beautiful, Y/N. And, I don’t say that lightly.” He whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “What if I break your heart?”

“You might, but we’re on this ship to take risks, right?” You smiled. “And if you break my heart, I’ll break your swords and we’ll call it even!”

“Eh!?” His lips curled into a devious smile. He shifted his body and pushed you off of him in the process, back on to the booth. You were on all fours, looking back at him, confused.

“How about I break your back right now? You’re already in position for me…”

The two of you stayed up until sunrise, but nobody kept watch…

Other works: https://www.tumblr.com/shaybreezy-17/720678363406254080/zoro-x-femreader

https://www.tumblr.com/shaybreezy-17/718435474566414336/one-piece-monster-trio-usopp-as-your-boyfriend

[st-rarepair-roulette]

Stranger Things Rarepair Roulette

How to play?

This is an event for making new rarepair content, but with a twist. Challenge yourself to roll the dice and receive a pairing that you’ve never thought of before (or maybe you have, idk your business.)

Sign up begins September 26, and closes October 23. There will be a Google form posted to this account for you to sign up with.

From there each participant will receive a customized randomizer linked to their tailored list to randomize to their heart’s content!

Not sure what to do? Ask for a second die and we will roll you up a prompt to try and start you.

Participants will have to fill out a form with your likes and dislikes, and your rolls will be weighted for your parameters. Participants will also have a place to submit pairings.

How do I submit a pair?

Have a pair you’d love to see written? Maybe your beloved rarepair only has one or two fics and you’d love to see more. Maybe you have a crackship you just can’t get out of your head. Maybe you’re just throwing stuff in for fun.

This is not the rarepair event for big ships give us the weird stuff!

Submit pairings by a separate Google form beginning September 26. submissions will close October 23. Watch here for the submission form to go up. You can also submit a prompt for our writers and authors to choose from.

What are the dates?

Submission and sign up is from Sept 26 to October 23. On November 1, you’ll receive your randomized link and an invite to our discord server. There will be a check in around January 1 that you are still feeling good about the event. Final submissions will be due on or by April 1st. There will be a collection on AO3 open from April 1st to 7th, and you can post on tumblr or X (ugh) with the hashtags #ST Rarepair Roulette or #STRarepairRoulette.

Do you need help?

Yes please God, DM if you would be interested in helping give people pairs and answer questions!

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the requirements?

Minimum of 500 words for a writer and at least a line work art piece.

Are there any other rules?

Only two: no ship or character bashing, this is an open event. And no Artificial intelligence, the goal is to make some more human art for a beloved rarepair.

I want to sign up but I’m nervous that I’ll have to write X or get character X, what are the parameters?

You’ll have to fill out a form with usernames and contact info, and additionally we’ll give you parameter options, like disallowing certain characters, or opting out of any dead dove ships. You may also select up to one favorite character, and your rolls will be weighted to favor ships featuring that character. If you have more questions feel free to shoot a DM.

You will not receive a randomizer that contains your disliked pairs unless the mod made an error but each pair list is tailored to you.

Will X character be included? What about dead dove pairings? Will any pairings be not allowed?

Yes, all characters and pairs are included but because it is random, and we want to be respectful of our author’s parameters, keep in mind that some submitted pairs may not be selected.

All pairs are allowed however the pairings will be weighted in favor of ships with less than 1,000 fics, in the spirit of being a rarepair event.

What if my pair was never selected?

You can hold on to it, who knows, i may do this again.

Who are the mods?

@shieldofiron @applewillowstone @jaylikesrainbowtigers and @intothedysphoria

I already messaged you a submission will it get counted?

Yes, anyone who dmed me or commented on the initial interest check will get counted. If you want to fill out the submission form with prompts or more pairs, feel free.

If I participate can I submit a pair?

Yes, and it will go into the regular drawing like all the others.

If two people submit the same pair does it get two entries?

No, the pair will be entered once, but as the pairing will be randomized there may be two participants who get the same pair.

How are you randomizing?

A randomizer from perchance.org.

Is the mod crazy?

Yes. Crazy for rarepairs.

[bullet-prooflove]

Goodbye: Juan 'Juice' Ortiz x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @stydiaswish @goosterroose @darqchilddaydreamz @librarian1002 @redpool

Canvas!Series:

Canvas - You've brought so much colour into Juice's life.

Follow Me - Your ex Ronnie realises you have a new boyfriend.

Runaway - Juice comes home to find you absent.

It’s one in the morning when you call Juice from a payphone outside of the roadside motel. It’s the first place you’ve stopped since you hit the road almost four hours ago. The sheets are clean and the doors double locks, it’s all you can ask for tonight.

“Are you safe?” Is the first question he asks when he picks up the phone.

He’s wide awake, you knew he would be. You can’t imagine what he must have thought when he got home tonight and found your stuff gone. You envision him tangled up amongst the sheets and it just kills you deep inside because you wish you were there with him.

“Yea.” You say, swallowing hard against the ache in your chest. “I’m in a place near Carson City.”

“I’ll come meet you,” He says and you can hear the clatter of items in the background, the sound of keys scratching against wood. “It’ll take me a couple of hours to get there but…”

“No Juan.” You say quietly. “You can’t, he might be watching, he could follow you...”

“Did he hurt you?” He asks you abruptly.

You look up, catching a glimpse of your reflection in the scratched glass of the phone box. You’re left eye is bloodshot, the bruising starting to blossom around the socket. There’s a cut across your cheek from where the wedding ring Ronnie still wears had bitten into your skin.

“Pack your shit.” Ronnie had told you when he forced his way through your front door. “You’re coming home with me.”

You’d escaped out of the bathroom window. Juice had been intending to fix it at the weekend and you were glad he hadn’t been able to get around to it. You’d managed to let one of his tires down before climbing into your car and disappearing into the night.

“Simone…” Juice says softly, drawing you back to the present. “How did he find you?”

“It doesn’t matter.” You tell him, using your sleeve to chase away the tears that stain your cheeks.

“It was the art show, wasn’t it?” He says and you can hear the agony in his voice because it was him that encouraged you to submit the piece that won the regional award. When your picture had appeared in the paper, he’d cut it out and stuck it to the fridge because he’d been so fucking proud of his girl.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think…” His voice breaks. “I just wanted people to see the world the way you do, the beauty of it.”

“Juan, I don’t blame you.” You whisper into the handset. “I didn’t think either. I got complacent...”

“When…” He hesitates because he’s terrified of what you’re about to say next. “When can I see you?”

“Juan...”

It’s the way you say his name that makes him realise that this is goodbye. It feels like someone’s reached into his chest and torn his heart right out.

“Don’t…”

“Goodbye Juan.” You say quietly as the tears roll down your cheeks. “Goodbye.”

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[godesssiri]

Décor items I am constantly looking for in thrift stores:

I watch a lot of Youtubers who either thrift for a living or do a lot DIY décor content. They all have the most gorgeous homes, and their homes are 90% thrifted. I have a gorgeous home and it’s easier for me to point out the things in my home that I’ve actually bought new rather than try point out all the things I’ve thrifted. Sometimes friends or family will ask where I got something and I won’t bother to answer I’ll just look at them, and they'll realize duh – stupid question. I thrifted it, have you even met me?

I wanted to give you all a list of things I am ALWAYS looking for, things I will browse through in every thrift store and will pick up even if I don’t know exactly how I’m going to use it, I just know I can use it somewhere.

Frames. OMG Frames! Never buy them new! I have bought some of the ugliest framed crap you wouldn’t believe. But the frame was great. I bought my brother a portrait of a little girl that I’m pretty sure is haunted, but the frame was stunning antique oak that goes perfectly with his style and the creepy little girl could be easily removed - and it was so cheap, probably because the little girl was so creepy. If you want to frame something, go to the art section of the thrift store and ignore what’s in the frames, just look at the frames themselves. Chances are you will either find something that’s perfect as is or that just needs a bit of spray paint to make it perfect. I will always look through the frames even if I don’t have anything that needs framing. I have a stash of great frames on the highest shelf in my wardrobe, I don’t have use for them yet, but I know as soon as I want to frame something I can just go shop my stash and find something perfect

Plant pots. I will pick up new ones when I see a gorgeous one that’s in my price range but 90% of my plant pots are thrifted. The thing is you can put a plant in ANY vessel if you get creative. And you do find a lot of actual planters at thrift stores, but the good ones go quick, so you have to be ready to grab when you see a nice one. I have a huge collection of 80s post-modern pastel ceramic pots and guess what’s come into fashion in the last couple of years? 80s style post-modern pastel stuff. I’ve also found gorgeous Victorian jardinieres in thrift stores that have snuck past the people doing the pricing because they’re transferware and they don’t realize that transferware can be that old. You also come across piles of modern generic cover pots, you know the ones for the gift plants you see at the supermarket or florist or hardware store? People get gifted a plant in one of these generic pots, they either kill the plant or it thrives and needs to be re-potted, and they send the gift pot off to the thrift store. You can give these a makeover with a paint pen, or one of my favorite things to do with them is hot glue them to a glass candle holder with a wide stable base so you end up with a goblet look – it instantly both literally and figuratively elevates them.

Curios and oddities. I’m a collector of curios and oddities and let me tell you, if you are going to a specialist store that stuff is pricey. But if you scour thrift stores and pick up any weird thing you come across you can quickly build up a collection of the strange and unusual that will delight any weird loving freak. But even if you don’t love the things that edge on creepy like I do then still keep an eye out for things that are a bit quirky, a bit odd. Every home needs something that’s a bit left of normal.

Trays. I have a variety of trays that I have on various surfaces to corral small things, one on my dresser for lotions and potions, one beside my sink for the dishwash and scrub brush etc, one on the side table next to my couch to hold all the little bits I want to be able to access easily but they look messy scattered across the table. I can’t pass up a good tray, I bought a nice solid brass one earlier this week with no idea what I was going to do with it, I bought it home and it’s perfect for my coffee table to hold my coasters and a little posy vase of flowers and a pretty bowl to hold the jewellery and hair clips I will inevitably discard there.  A good tray can take a random assortment of practical items from stressful mess to pleasingly organized in seconds. They’re another thing that you constantly come across in thrift stores and also something that’s easy to do a thrift flip on if you can’t find one that fits your aesthetic.

Candle holders. There are soooooooooooo many candle holders of every description at the thrift store. Whatever your style you will find something. I actually rarely use them for candles, I like to buy ones meant for chunky candles and use them as plant stands to elevate small pots. Or get tall beautifully shaped candlesticks and display shells or crystal spheres or air plants on top. Some of them are so sculptural and beautiful they look great just on their own. They’re a fantastic display item whether you use them for their intended purpose or not. And if you like the Dark Academia aesthetic that is everywhere right now they are your best friend. I have never walked into a thrift store and not stumbled across a candle holder of some description – never.

Decorative storage. When I want to increase my storage by storing stuff out in the open in a place people will see, I look for vintage wooden boxes, cool old suitcases, pretty pottery canisters, interesting vintage baskets. When you wander around the thrift store looking for things you can put stuff in, a whole world of pretty possibilities opens up. Wooden boxes are my catnip, I have so many but will never pass one up if I like it. And if it’s an old cigar box with pretty graphics and peeling labels then my heart goes pitty-pat. Pretty canisters you can have on your bench means you have more space in your cupboards to hide the ugly practical stuff. I have a gorgeous old leather briefcase that holds important documents and small things I Do Not Want To Loose, I have ADHD and I'm more likely to remember where my birth certificate or great-grandad's pocket watch are if I keep it them in something I actually like looking at.

Glass display items. I love to display stuff beneath/behind glass because dust. Glass domes and glass display boxes and shadowbox frames are all either A) freaking expensive or B) hard to find or C) both. I’m always thrifting display items that I can rip out whatever is currently in there to display my own stuff. I’ve bought 6 Anniversary Clocks for their glass domes and brass bases; I usually get ones that the clock itself is plastic and it’s super easy to take it apart with a screwdriver. I’m also constantly buying the ugliest shit in shadow-box frames because it’s usually easy enough to open up the frame and get the ugly crap out – dear lord the crap they put in shadowboxes in the 90s. I will buy ugly souvenir stuff for their glass display boxes and will break the glue holding them closed and pull out the tourist tat. I have a couple of glass globes that have come with ugly artificial flowers in them and they’re usually cheap because the flowers are so ugly, but it’s easy enough to open them up and clean them out. Glass trinket boxes are another awesome display item, and there’s been a trend for them in recent years so they’re turning up more and more often, they’re not very practical for everyday storage because you can see everything in them and they look messy, but if you’re only using them to hold carefully arranged pretty things then they look amazing.

Bases, plinths, pedestals. I mentioned I buy pillar candle holders to elevate plant pots but basically, I’m always on the lookout for stuff I can put stuff on top of for display. I’ll buy any candle holder I can put something on top of, any wooden box that can be used to elevate stuff, cake stands don’t just have to be used for cake. Onyx ashtrays are perfect for lifting things a little and if that something has a slightly curved bottom, like a large seashell or a crystal geode, then sitting it in the depression of the ashtray stabilizes it, or if you need a flat surface flip the ashtray over and use the bottom as the top. If you’re lucky, you’ll come across bases actually meant for décor and they always make things look just that little bit classier. Displays always look better when you vary the heights of objects so I’m constantly looking for things to lift my pretties and it all looks so much more interesting when you use an assortment of vintage bases.

Vases. I have a vase problem, I know I have a vase problem, I do not care that I have a vase problem. I mean 16 on one shelf isn’t too many right? I promise it’s a huge shelf with lots of space for them. There are so many beautiful ones out there. So many that are gorgeously hand painted. So many interesting shapes and colors. So many that have been carefully looked after and passed down through generations but have gone to someone who it’s not to their tastes so they can now be your treasured antiques. So many that are modern, mass produced and worthless but ripe for a thrift flip to fit you exact style.

Books. Before anyone @s me about people who use books just as décor, there are good reasons to use some books purely as décor. I collect antique books, specifically natural history ones but I’ll consider any reference book with beautiful covers and illustrations. Most of these books are now inaccurate, I’ve got books that talk about extinct species in the present tense, Atlas’ that were produced between the 2 world wars that are not even in spitting distance of accurate anymore, archaeology books with laughable theories. Also, a lot of my books are fragile, there’s some I barely dare to open because pages are falling out and the binding is perished or the cover is loose, the safest place for them is sitting on a shelf just looking pretty. I also collect children’s classics purely out of nostalgia, I make it my mission to find the prettiest and/or oldest editions I can get my hands on. I doubt I’m going to sit down and re-read the Pollyanna books or the Little Women series but seeing them on my shelf takes me back to those pre-teen days devouring every classic I could get my hands on, mostly in paperback form because those books have been re-printed again and again. If a book is lovely but has no real value as a book anymore either because it’s inaccurate or too fragile, or if it’s had a million re-prints, why not have it as décor? Décor is meant to give a home a feeling and what inspires more feelings than books?

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

[querenciasturniolo]

HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!!!

2023 was one hell of a year for me, even before i created this blog.

i’ve struggled with a severe anxiety disorder my entire life, and writing has always been such an incredible escape for me. being able to get out of my own head and put every emotion, whether it was beautiful, painful, or embarrassing into a story, felt like such a release.

i’ve written for years, and the fact that this little blog of mine is the place i put my most vulnerable thoughts into is so crazy. my mental health has improved so much in the last five months, and fuck i can’t wait to see what 2024 brings.

i posted my first fic change in july after spending over a week working on it, a few weeks after going through the worst heartache i’ve ever felt in my life. it is still, to this day, my favorite fic that i’ve ever written. it was so incredibly personal to me, and so fucking important to me, and the fact that so many of you read it and enjoyed it warms my heart so much.

since then, i’ve written thirty-six one-shots (holy shit) that so many people have read (which is outrageous that you all read and enjoyed my delusions LMAOOO), and i’m SO EXCITED to write more.

my best friend in the entire world and truly one of my favorite people on the planet, @champangekisses , read so many of the fics that i’d doubted were worth posting, and promptly told me to shut the fuck up and post them, has truly been my biggest support. even with her goofy “requests” in my inbox, trying to throw me off (i always know it’s you, keep trying), she always knows exactly what to say to make me get out of my head and just fucking post something.

val, i love you so much, and thank you for always being there for me.

i’ve met people on this app that i absolutely adore and truly love so fucking much that it’s insane.

@floofparker , you were my first friend on this app, and i love you so fucking much. i’ll truly never stop saying how grateful i am to have met you. you’ve, on countless occasions, told me to post something that i didn’t know how i felt about, and every time, you had the right words to prove to me that it doesn’t matter what other people think about it, and that writing is art, regardless of how i feel the quality is. i love you.

a few weeks ago, i joined a little group chat on instagram, expecting to talk a few times in it and completely forget about it, because that had been the standard for every fandom groupchat i’d joined. what i wasn’t expecting, was to find a group of weirdos that never fail to crack me up, make me grin until my cheeks hurt, and make my heart ache with how much i love them.

ro @bernardenjoyer , mar @mbbsgf , kay @soursturniolo , and finny @ev3rgreenxtrees , i love you guys so fucking much, it’s insane. thank you for accepting me, and being one of my favorite parts of my day when i open my phone.

to the triplets (who will never see this, and if they discover tumblr and do, i still stand by my statement saying i will deactivate my account), thank you for making your content so understandable and relatable. i’ve never watched an influencer, or group of influencers, that i’ve truly felt like i’ve connected with, and for that, i’m incredibly thankful.

and to everyone that has read my fics in the last five months, thank you so much. you’ve all allowed me to express myself in a way that is absolutely mind blowing. i love each and every single one of you so much, thank you all so much for giving me a safe place to put my thoughts and soul into.

thank you, thank you, thank you.

happy fucking new year !!!!!!!!!

[stayandot8]

Track Nine: Time Out

Genre: Fluff

Relationship type: established boyfriend/girlfriend

Important Contents: Thank you for reading :)

WC: 2.2k

Next part I Last Part I masterlist

9. Time Out

A year into this relationship and I had never been happier in my life. He made me feel like a queen even when I was waiting up for him late, late into the morning. Like this instance. I had gotten a text earlier that day from Chan saying he would be late, which was nothing new. But the thing that caught my eye was what he said after. 

Channie ❣️: I’m sorry, this is taking forever. Han can’t get his take right. 

Me: It’s okay, your bed is comfortable. Would be better if you were here but I’ll suffer for your art. :) 

Channie ❣️: Such a good girlfriend

I could feel his eye roll from here. 

Me: And don’t you forget it.

Channie ❣️: I couldn’t. You won't let me. :P 

Channie ❣️: I did get you something though. It just got delivered today. I can’t wait to give it to you when I get home. 

Channie ❣️: If Han would hurry the fuck up… 

A shiver went down my spine. I loved anything he got me, however small it is. The man could bring home a jar of dirt from outside the company building and I would still be giddy that he thought of me at all. The way he tells me that I occupy his mind helps me feel less troubled that I’m always thinking about him too. When I miss him a little too much when he’s away, I love to watch compilations of him on Youtube or watch the playbacks of his lives. Which coincidentally was exactly what I was doing when he texted me. 

Curled up in his blanket and wrapped in his sweatshirt, I put my phone back on the nightstand to the side of the bed. I pulled the covers closer to my chin and watched my boyfriend on the TV screen until my eyes just got too heavy to keep them open. 

***

I could tell he was home because the creaking of his bedroom door woke me up. I had yet to open my eyes just in case I was wrong, but my ears picked up the sounds of him scuffling around his room, trying to put on his comfortable clothes to sleep. I peeked one eye open to see exactly that. He noticed. 

“Go back to sleep baby, I’m coming to bed.” I groaned, lifting my arm up straight to the ceiling. He knew what I wanted as he chuckled at me. He dove for the spot next to me, forgetting his shirt somewhere on the floor. I hummed in satisfaction. That was how I preferred it anyways. He tucked into my waiting embrace as I brought my leg around him to bring him closer. His arms snuck around my waist and squeezed.

“Present.” I grumbled into his hair. His breath hit my neck as he laughed again. He knew I took my presents from him very seriously. When it came from him, I was very impatient. 

“It’s in my bag by the door.” He made no move to retrieve it. 

“Why is it in your bag when it’s supposed to be in my hands?” I did not release my hold on him. He huffed and released my waist to insinuate that he was prepared to grab it.

“You realize you have to actually let me go for me to grab it right?” I could hear his smile in his tone.

“That fact remains irrelevant. You’re mine, Bang.” I loved saying those words aloud. My grip got tighter.

“You now realize you only leave me with one option.”

 When I didn’t let go, he unleashed his tickle hands, making me squirm enough to let himself loose. “No fair.” I said to the now empty space beside me. 

“Do you want your present or not?” He grabbed his bag by the door and riffled through it, searching.He pulled out a box, similar to the one that my ring currently on my middle finger came in. He sauntered back over to me, box in hand. I sat straight up, noticing what he was carrying and suddenly very awake. His smile was immediate when he turned back to me, seeing my excitement. He sat in front of me, holding the box open for me to grab from him. I couldn’t take the lid off fast enough.

Inside the box was a pendant on a chain. On the pendant was a series of numbers, a date. Accompanying the pendant were charms. The letters ‘C’ and ‘B’ hung loosely from their chain. The chamber in my soul with Chan’s name on it fluttered as I brought the chain closer for my inspection. I felt the familiar pinch behind my eyes. 

“Chan…”

“It’s so you can always have me with you. And do you know what day that is?” I looked at me with those big eyes, full of hope and the familiar spark that I loved. I had to think for a split second and then it dawned on me. 

“Our first date, right? You took me to that beach a few cities over.” I smiled at the memory. He nodded, watching me remember that day.

“I love it, Chan I do. Put it on me?” He nodded again, motioning for me to turn around. I gave him the necklace. His fingers brushed the sides of my neck as he brought the chain around me and closed the clasp. He kissed my neck as I brought my fingers to fondle with the charms, already used to the feeling of them. Like they had always been there. 

“I miss that beach. We haven’t been back since then.”

“You’re right, we haven’t.” He responded, snuggling back up into my arms and closing his eyes. “We should go back there when I have a day off.”

“I think we should all go.” I waited with baited breath for his reaction as a knot formed in my stomach. I knew he still hadn’t shown them that place yet, not knowing the reason why. His eyes popped back open at that suggestion, his face dropping into a sudden serious look. He bore a hole through my neck, avoiding my gaze while he selected his words carefully.

“Baby, I don’t think I want to go back with them just yet. I want to keep that place just between me and you.” My stomach dropped. I didn’t mean it like that…

“Chan, it’s okay. I was thinking more about just going to the beach with them. I would love to keep that place just for us. I didn’t mean anything by it.” I earned a smile from him as he nodded and finally brought his beautiful eyes back to mine. 

“I like that idea better. I’ll talk to them and see what they think.” 

“Okay. Good night, my favorite workaholic.” He laughed too loudly for the time of night. I swatted his shoulder but that just spurred his laughter on more. He buried his laughter into my chest until he calmed enough to settle properly.

“Goodnight you workaholic lover.”

***

The sun was high in the sky by the time everyone had settled their stuff on the sand. I tried to spread the blanket with Felix but Han threw a handful of sand at his back and he took off after Han, screaming something like ‘Get back here you little squirrel!’ Han ran straight for the water just before Felix tackled him, both landing in the water with a loud splash. I threw my hands up, still holding the blanket as I watched them start trying to throw water on each other.

“Boys! At least put on…” I let my voice trail off, knowing they couldn’t hear me, even if they wanted to. “Sunscreen.” I finished to myself, shaking my head like a disappointed mother. 

“Don’t worry, the sunburn will be punishment enough.” Seungmin said from behind me, shuffling around in his own bag for the sheet he brought. He found it and made his way over to the side of my blanket where Felix had just been. “I’ll help you with yours if you help me with mine.” He reached for the corners of the blanket.

“Deal, Minnie.” We fluffed the blanket in the air before it settled, each of us placing a shoe to hold it down from the seaside breeze. I placed Chan’s bag in the middle, just in case. Chan had found himself on sunscreen duty for Jeongin and Hyunjin, grabbing them before they could run off like Han and Felix. “You grabbed the wrong little ones.” I shouted over to him, realizing he had been too busy with Hyunjin’s dramatics to notice the two that were already soaked. I tried to ignore Hyunjin’s mildly offended pout but he wouldn’t let up.

“I can say that, I’m older than you so wipe the pout off your face.” I stuck my tongue out at him, stooping to his level. He returned the gesture. Chan followed to where I was pointing and ceased his actions on the youngest and threw his hands up like I had just a moment ago. He sharply looked back to me and motioned with his hands smeared with the white substance.

“You were supposed to watch them!”  I lay a hand on my heart, not entirely feigning my shock at his assumption. 

“They’re your members!” I threw back at him, tilting my head in challenge. That was when Minho piped up with an all too familiar grin on his face.

“I’ll get them.” And then he took off as fast as he could muster in the sand. My small glimmer of hope faded the closer he got to them and winked out the moment he tackled Han into the water. I felt my brows drop in further annoyance. I looked over my shoulder to where Changbin had just sat in his beach chair, looking too comfortable for my liking. 

“Changbin.” He turned to me, his features looking as though he knew what I was about to say. I flicked my head towards the now screaming boys trying to dog pile on each other. 

“Wha?! Why me?!” His protests were slightly drowned by the yells of the squirrel boy, who, unfortunately for him, had found himself at the bottom of the dog pile. 

“Because if they drown Han, you’ve lost a third of 3Racha. You’d be down to 2Rachca. And that just doesn’t sound as cool. Now go.” He opened his mouth to protest further then snapped it shut as I glared at him, pulling out my best deadpan stare. I flicked my brows again, daring him to challenge me. He grumbled as he rose from his chair and stomped his way down to the water. I knew everyone could hear his yelling as he retrieved the rest of the group and shoved them along like cattle back to us. 

Just as the three runaways joined the rest of the group, Hyunjin and Jeongin ran past them back the way the others had just come, making a point to laugh at them as they ran. Chan grabbed towels from his bag and threw them at each of the sopping wet boys, their over-clothes now just as wet. 

“You get to wait to completely dry off. And-” He threw a bottle of sunscreen at their feet. “You get to do it yourselves.” He smirked at them as he dropped to the blanket I had spread. I chuckled to myself as I helped Seungmin spread his blanket the way we had with mine. Seungmin grabbed the soccer ball he had brought and forced the soaking boys to let him teach them how to kick a ball. They reluctantly joined him. Changbin quickly followed, unable to resist an opportunity to show off. Respectfully, of course. 

I retrieved the book I had brought from a bag of my own and took my usual place beside my boyfriend, laying on my stomach while he was on his back. 

“Would you like some sunblock too?” He asked softly in my ear. I cracked a smile as I nodded, shifting so I laid flat. His hands started to massage the cream into my back when we heard a commotion from behind us. We both turned to where Han was laying on the ground flat on his back, surrounded by the others who were throwing the ball square into his stomach while he laughed maniacally. Hyunjin and Jeongin raced out of the water to join them, Hyunjin grabbing the second ball he brought to throw at an unsuspecting Changbin.

“Do I want to know?” Chan murmured under his breath. 

“Probably not.” I whispered at equal volume. He tucked his lips into his mouth and tsked.

“Yeah, you’re right.” He said as he turned back to me. 

“Your kids are crazy.” He sighed deeply, feeling the truth of my statement in his soul. 

“Just know that now they’re kinda your kids too.”

“Oh really? How do you figure that?” My voice had shot up in surprise. I had to raise my eyebrow at him as my eyes widened of their own accord. 

“Well, since they're my kids, that makes me their dad. And you’re with me. So that makes you their step mother of sorts.” I squinted at him, considering. He waited while I stared at him, never taking his eyes off me. He had a gleam of hope and something like pride for his chosen family. Who was I to take that away from him?

“I think I can live with that.”

[finleycannotdraw]

Hi there! I noticed you reblogged those ask games for all the tad albums, and I don't remember what question this is but what lyrics would you say just SEND you from each of the albums?

AAAAY HELLO

okay so. this is probably going to be at least one lyric from every song

love run lyrics that send me™️:

“all hell and its fire waits for us” “my entire life it’s running away too fast, watching everyone you’ve ever loved walk past, never really quite getting the knack of knowing that no one will ever come back for you” “for christs sake just say something” “it cannot be a lie if no one hears” “I’m stronger now than you have ever known” “can’t you see that I’m enough for you but you don’t want me to be cause that means you’ll actually have to be content” “it starts off like a pinprick, a trick of the light, oil slick” “I cannot find the words to keep you” “we showed the world that we exist, didn’t really like the pattern that much on the wallpaper so anyway” “if I’m good will you come back” “where is god ma where’s the vodka if my old mum could see me now oh how she’d how she’d hold my hand as you shook in the middle of the night” “let the world come at you love with all its sand and sin a-singing, the song you once knew well’s begun, run until your lungs are numb, let the earth a-tumble love and humble you withal keep running” “let foul men band and heed your hum for that ancient hymn you heard me strumming is naught but fumble falls and tumbleweeds love run it’s not that rum would solve though some would harm you none not one no none would raise to you a hand nor thumb not while by you I stand and hum love run” “it’s not from what we run that drums but what’s to come, love what’s love what’s love what’s to come”

the horror and the wild:

“I pray to god it’s the kindest thing to never leave you alone” “gimme back my heart you wingless thing” “witness me old man I am the wild” “that I might understand as best I can how bold I was could be will be still am by god still am, fret not dear heart let not them hear the mutterings of all your fears the flutterings of all your wings” “flirt (wasn’t flirting) at the back of a bookshop” “hold me lover like you used to so tight I’d bruise you” “I know you’re strong enough to do this on your own” “he’s down he’s dead he’s gone oh he’s lost he’s flown he’s fled now take a good long look at what you’ve all done to me” “I’m old waylaid and feels like I am wading into carpet burns and carousels christ you’ll be the death of me and calm throughout his melodrama she will turn and say dear heart it’s me it’s me you don’t need to pretend to be someone you’re not” “you you touch my skin peels off like paint” “as the belt from your buckle is tightening I make shipwrecks out of my dress” “and I get in and for some reason you’ve painted the kitchen lime green and I sink to the floor what’s the point anymore and you you reply with a glint in your eye singing I don’t know but I’m hear oh dear god dear heart don’t cry” “now even though you’re mad and these memories won’t stay that’s okay cause now I get to meet you for the first time every single day” “look at me as you say this (you’re home) don’t look at your phone (for gods sake I’m)” “I feel hunger at last for that person fifteen year old me would be proud to have known” “these lines aren’t wrinkles dear heart they’re just dollops of paint on a new work of art”

ruin (literally every single lyric okay)

“look into those secret worlds you call eyes” “when I think I’m fine you’ll visit and then you happen to me all over again” “the rain kept coming down I’ll watch that woman drown” “I don’t find this easy like you” “gonna go home and show my cat some memes cause he’s awesome like me” “if god made us all in his image then god’s a fucking nerd” “I might not make it tonight” THE ENTIRETY OF CHORDS but specifically “they are my rascals I can’t let them walk away/we built our castles just to watch them wash away” “walk into your dawn you snotrags tell em we never cared go tell them how we fucked you up and oh my god it’s so unfair we were the winter nights so you could be the morning snow cause life begins by leaving and our love is shown in the letting go” “be good be safe be kind know we’ll always love you even though you’re leaving us behind” “you are in the earth of me” “I’m lifting my class to that last good man grace who has left me he’s left me at last” “let’s bury this I’m all yours but you’re all mine let’s dance together you and I cause I’m not trapped with you you see you’re the one who’s trapped with me” “don’t you think I look pretty curled up on this bathroom floor” “we’ll dance together so close we’re sharing breath but now I’m leading doesn’t that just scare you to death” “I will bring you ruin” “nothing quite prepared me for when that piano sang again” “tomorrow I’ll do things different tomorrow I’ll be brave” “if I don’t make it back from where I’ve gone just know I loved you all along”

TL;DR I am in love with literally every single song by this band.

[mountain-in-springtime]

i was tagged by my darling @loser-user-noaccuser (thanks for the tag love) so let’s go!

(i’m also gonna tag @takenbythelightfantastic @shutupdevvie and @myfriendtheghost but if you see this and i didn’t tag you, feel free to participate anyway!)

what book are you currently reading? i just started shady hollow: a murder mystery by juneau black. i’ve been meaning to read it for ages, so i’m excited to finally get around to it. 

what’s your favorite movie you saw in theatres this year? this is really hard to pick because i did see a lot of films this year, most of them screenings of older movies. my top three are probably labyrinth, goodfellas, and rear window. i do feel that elvis deserves an honorable mention as well because i did really enjoy that and it made me cry multiple times. 

what do you usually wear? it depends on the day. if i’m at home i just wear athletic tights and a t shirt, but if i’m going to class i’ll throw on a cardigan as well and sometimes wear jeans instead of tights.

how tall are you? i’m 5′3″ 

what’s your star sign? do you share a birthday with a celebrity or historical event? i’m a pisces! i also share a birthday with johnny cash and victor hugo (and i’m one day away from sharing one with george harrison)

do you go by your name or nickname? they’re pretty interchangeable tbh. some people call me mallorie, but just as many call me mal. 

did you grow up to be what you wanted to be as a kid? yes and no. i think that who i am as a person is the type of individual that i’ve always been and wanted to be, but in the tangible sense of a career, lifestyle, etc., i’m still in a transitional period of my life and can’t say yet if i’ll reach the more material goals set by my childhood self. 

are you in a relationship? if not who is your crush if you have one? i’m not in a relationship, and i don’t really have any crushes aside from my multiple famous/fictional/tumblr mutual babygirls. 

what’s something you are good at vs something you are bad at? ever since i was a child, i’ve been pretty talented in the arts (singing, acting, visual art, etc.) and i did really well in school, but i am absolutely terrible at sports or really anything atheltic. 

dogs or cats? both! although i don’t know if i could live without a dog.

if you draw/write or create in anyway what’s your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you have created this year? it’s definitely this (technically unfinished) painting that i did of george harrison at the beginning of the year. i consider it one of my best works to date, and it was done at a time when i was really deep into a beatles phase so i think my love of the band and george really manifested into the work. 

what’s something you’d like to create content for? oh my gosh there’s so many things. i’m really big into any kind of pop culture/media so i draw a lot of celebrities that i love and things like that. i’d really like to continue to make art that shows my love of the beatles, but i would like to branch out into making art for some of my other loves like john denver, gvf, and the muppets. i’d also love to give writing fanfic for any of the fandoms i’m in a try.

what’s something you are currently obsessed with? well i’m obviously obsessed with the beatles and gvf, but i also adore john denver, the solo works of all the beatles, the muppets, the simpsons, film (particularly old hollywood and 80s films), and a million other things. i’ve also been hyperfixating on seinfeld a bit lately bc that’s the show i’m currently watching. 

what’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year? i think every year i convince myself that i’ll make new irl friends and finally have a full friend group or even get into a relationship, but that never really happens much. (although i am thankful for all of the darling friends i have made on tumblr. y’all mean so much to me.) i also went see paul mccartney in concert this year and while it was amazing and by no means disappointing, it didn’t hold the life-changing gravity that i thought it would, and it almost made me a bit sad because it reminded me how much time has passed since the beatles and that the people that i really care about won’t be around forever. 

what’s a hidden talent of yours? i’m pretty good at impressions! i can do a lot of them, but some of my favorites are miss piggy, cher, bob dylan, chubby checker (specifically singing the twist), a ton of simpsons characters, jerry seinfeld and jimmy stewart. (the last two aren’t always great but they really make me laugh.)

are you religious? yes, but it’s a bit complicated. i was raised catholic, but i find that i don’t agree with all of the teachings of the catholic church, so now i’m trying to find where i stand in the religious community and where my beliefs and morals fit. it’s something i’m working on and figuring out as i go along. 

what’s something that you wish to have at this moment? happiness, love, and peace

[daquanshell]

The Start of a New Career

It’s been about two months since I started my tenure with the PHP Agency and a little over a month since I completed pre-licensing.

Unfortunately, due to bad timing and personal issues, I haven’t been able to schedule my licensing exam, and the material is slowly fading from my short term memory. I’ve been trying to avoid getting an extension, but if it takes too long to resolve these personal matters than it may be inevitable, but I’d like to explore other options before I go spending even more money on pre-licensing, since I feel I’ve already spent enough.

The inability to move forward with my career has really put a lot of pressure on me personally, since I feel both trapped in the amount of money I make and trapped emotionally; I have a psychological need to sell, and not being able to go out to the field is absolute torture.

A Marketing Genius

As a financial representative, I not only have complete control over whom I do business with but I have an excuse to talk to anyone. I have an excuse to get dressed and go out into society, take pictures, videos, write letters, publish books, articles, design products, posters, flyers, and really go all out on the creative aspects. I can’t just do it “for the sake of doing it”, I can’t just do it for the sake of art, or creation, or love, or anything other than the cold hard truth. I want the money, and the freedom that comes with it. I want the justifiable spending of marketing and advertising, the justifiable outreach to actors, models, talent, creators, men and women of all ages.

As a financial representative, I approach whom I want to approach. If I see a beautiful woman across the street and I think to myself “wow, I’d like to spend more time with her”, I immediately begin asking myself the following questions:

does she live around here?

what is her name?

how old is she?

what does she do for work?

how do I learn more about her?

how do I pique her interest?

how do I stay in touch with her?

From my understanding of society, a man approaching a woman with that line of questioning typically has a sexual or romantic connotation, which brings me to the root of the problem I have been having: I naturally have a romantic approach to marketing.

You Broke My Heart

It is heart breaking not having anything for sale. This is an important feeling to burn into my memory, as it marks the completion of a transformation and the start of a new chapter in my life.

Originally, my academic background was in Interactive Media Production, before studying Graphic Design. I’ve known I’ve wanted to go back to school for awhile now but I couldn’t decide what I wanted to study. While I had a marginally successful career in Marketing, my soul was still that of an artist. This became even more apparent in the military, when a majority of the work I did was as an artist. Despite doing so much work, with plenty of perks and praise, I felt something was missing, and I couldn’t exactly put my hand on it.

Towards the Future

So I’ve made a few decisions. Yes, I’ll stay with PHP long-term and figure it out. Yes, I’ll go back to school, this time for Marketing, at the very least until I get a Bachelor’s Degree. Yes, I’ll attend multiple schools to get the most out of my education. Yes, I’ll establish permanent residency in Maryland, Baltimore specifically, despite the dangers of living here. Yes, I’ll still play video games and watch movies with my family and do things that aren’t business sometimes. Yes, I’ll still draw, and write, and paint and take advantage of all the skills I’ve developed over the years.

Now I get why I’ve been stagnant professionally, since I’ve been trying to put business first. You really do have to prioritize your personal life. Hopefully I can get my personal life in enough order to consistently publish content, launch some products, and get back out there and start dating.

Maybe it’s the haircut, but I definitely feel as though I got my groove back. Maybe I should try my luck, assuming I can stick to the script!

[quartings]

Announcements and resolutions for 2024!

For all followers of this blog, here are some art, animations, and more to expect for the coming year!

Firstly, I hope I posted enough Pokemon Adventures content here in 2023. Despite promising a lot last year, the big delay before the first SV chapter and the even longer delay until we finally saw Scarlet really put a lot of my planned fanart on hold. Hopefully I’ll be able to post even more Pokespe stuff this year now that ORAS will finally be starting in English, finishing in Japanese, and SV continues! And depending on what the Pokemon games do next, I may have even more Pokemon stuff to post!

To make it up to you all, I recently released an Indigo Disk animated short last week, and will be releasing another animation really soon with Pokemon Adventures characters! Definitely check them out, I worked really hard on them and I hope you like them!

I don’t know how many shows of 2024 I’m excited for- the only thing on the horizon is the Pseudo Harem anime, so maybe I’ll do fanart of that? There’s some other smaller series I may watch but nothing as major. Also, Creature Commandos is set to launch in late 2024 so hopefully that’s a good source of artistic inspiration, too!

Sadly, since my original animated short film Wishful Thinking is still at film festival judging, I can’t post it yet. But as mentioned last year, I will now start working on a teaser and promo material for it to post 100% before the year ends!

As for New Years resolutions, here’s some stuff I want to get done before the end of 2024:

Voice in at least 2 new projects for my Youtube channel, more if possible.

Collaborate with at least one new VA friend on one of those projects.

As I continue trying to navigate working in the animation industry to become an animated series showrunner, I appreciate all your support here! And also your patience with any delays as I try to become a proper working adult, haha.

For a final project- this isn’t just a rough idea, but I’m thinking of finally taking my Eris series to a professional level! I’m just stuck deciding if it should be-

A comic book that I try to officially publish

A webtoon that I then try to convert to other mediums if it becomes popular

A series of animated shorts

If any of you have any suggestions on what I should do, please let me know! I know most of my audience would prefer if I did more Pokemon animations (and trust me, I still will!) but I also want to make a living- and preferably off my OC stuff, too!

Conversely, I could slow down on animations and instead do Improvemonth 2, where I do one solid month of training my art to improve it and post the results here, so my future comics and animations can be even better! Here’s the link to my last one, and if you think I should go for it again, let me know!

I will say though, I think 2025 will be a bigger year than 2024- Superman Legacy releases then, I can finally post Wishful Thinking around then, we’ll be closer to more big game releases, and it’ll be the 10th anniversary of this blog!

And finally, if you’re a fan of any of my art or series (especially any of my OC stuff) this is your chance to let me know what you want to see more of! No guarantee that I’ll do it, but it’s always good hearing more from you!

[missgabs05]

OMG! Hi Gabby, are you ok? (If you don't mind me asking)

Omg Sam, hi! 💕 I don’t mind you asking at all, I’ve missed talking to you so much, and I hope you’ve been doing great! :D <3 If you, or anyone else who is reading this for that matter, ever want to talk, then please, feel free to send me a dm :D I’m sorry for suddenly becoming inactive on here and leaving without explanation :( Sometimes when things just get too hard for me, I can’t even bring myself to talk or interact with people, both irl or online, so I just end up leaving, usually intending to take a small break, but I actually just end up staying away for several months without saying anything :( especially when I’m taking a break from drawing and I don’t have anything to post. I literally did the exact same thing like 3 years ago on Instagram and I have not talked to most of my friends on there since 😭😭😭💔 I keep letting them know that I’ll be active again soon, but since I’ve been taking a break from working on art and stuff, it’s really hard to find motivation to go on there when I have nothing new to post :’( Which sucks, because I really miss talking to all my friends there😭😭😭💔 (God, I really need to start being active on all my social media accounts again lol I don’t have very many but still lmao)

As for how I’ve been, I guess I’ve just been good :D I mean things can be kind of bad every now and again for my personal life but I’m graduating this year so things will most likely be a whole lot easier once I’m out of school, but even while I’m still in school everything is still pretty chill most of the time :D

But as for today, I’m sure you know what my new post is about :((( 

And you know what, while I’m here, I might as well say what’s on my mind.

(LONG POST)

This is all just so mind-boggling.

I mean, I never really was a big fan of YandereDev, I was always more interested in his game and there were times where I was able to talk about it without bringing him up at all, just because he wasn’t relevant in whatever I was talking about.

I was neutral for a very long time, and I was, and still am, completely against people going out of their own way to harass him, trying to tell him how to make his game, send him pointless pictures/videos to waste his time, send him intense nsfw content, whether it be gore or something else, etc.

Because the way I see it, it’s completely pointless and time-wasting to focus on something you clearly do not like. And if you can’t talk about something you like without always bringing up the thing you hate about it, then chances are you’re just more interested in the thing you hate than the thing you “like.” And I would constantly see people who could not even talk about YanSim without mentioning how much they hated YandereDev. Specifying that you do not support him is one thing that I can understand, but constantly having to shit-talk him and his game at any given opportunity just got so old. (I may just be biased, however, because I just really hate having to read/see negative things, especially about my interests, just because it messes with me very mentally and emotionally.)

So in that case, I never interacted with hate posts, and I never tried to talk too much about any drama, especially because in most cases, drama is not really anyone else’s place to talk, since it involves other people and their opinions, experiences, feelings, etc.

I just wanted to focus on what I liked and share my interests with other people :) And at one point I truly hoped that everyone would leave him alone and let him work on his game, because up until this point, he hadn’t ever actually done anything extremely bad. (At least as far as I know, because even though there are so many videos about him and things he’s done I’ve never really watched any of them because like I said, I was just trying to avoid anything negative.)

I really enjoyed talking about the things and characters I liked, I had so many plans to make new art, concepts, and I even wanted to make art of my own takes on new uniforms, rooms, areas, and characters, just because that’s how much I loved this game. I made a lot of new friends because we both shared an interest over this game, and overall, I really just enjoyed being in this community. It made me so happy.

But I mean wow, he really fucked up. Sooo many people, volunteers, and workers have left. The development for the game was already incredibly slow, but this is just going to slow it down so much more. And what makes it so unbelievable to me, and to everyone else, is that none of us actually thought that he would stoop that low and do what he did. I actually thought that he knew better. I actually thought he was smarter. After all these years of people trying to take him down with false accusations, and with me believing that this would just be another example, I truly believed that he was not the person that so many people were falsely painting him out to be. (Because yes, all of those old accusations were not true.) But I was wrong. I was so wrong. I really really do feel so embarrassed that I actually believed that he was innocent all this time, but I mean, can you blame me? Like I said earlier, so many people made so many false claims about him, and they were never true. (As to my knowledge.) I remember he had even said that his house had been swatted before at least once, and that was what really made me believe that he truly was innocent, because I always thought that if he did actually have some gross stuff they would have found it right? I guess not. To be honest, I always just thought he was just this kinda weird dude with a weird sense of humor. I actually just thought that he only had very intense anger issues. (Which I still believe he does.) But we all know the truth now.

I’m so sorry to everyone who tried to tell me about his true self. I should have believed you.

I know I said that it’s not really my place to talk about drama, but as for this situation, all I can say to the victim is that: All of us who were in the fandom are so terribly sorry that that happened to you. Please take care of yourself and be safe. 

And to YandereDev: I, and so many of us are all so unimaginably disappointed in you. I will say, however, that I am glad that you actually apologized, and took accountability to what you did wrong, but it doesn’t change and cannot change the fact that what’s happened, has happened. You are disgusting beyond belief, and you’ve let everyone down. The only thing I believe that you can do now is to just bow out gracefully. This is just something you cannot come back from.

I was surprisingly able to stay reserved throughout the day, despite hearing about everything literally just after I woke up, but just a few minutes ago I decided to check out some of my favorite YS YouTubers to see whatever input they currently had on the situation. Reuben W and Shinah Hoakin have already posted their goodbyes and have let everyone know that they are officially moving on. ReubenThePig080 has posted some information about the situation, but it doesn’t seem like he’s planning on leaving, or at least not yet. And Akira Shimizu hasn’t said anything about the situation yet, in fact I’m not even sure if she’s aware of it because it seems that she hasn’t been online on her YouTube channel for a few days now. Kubz Scouts hasn’t said anything either, but I know that he is eventually going to say something, and I am truthfully not prepared to hear what he has to say. And those are only a few YouTubers within hundreds who have been in this community. After seeing all of that, all of a sudden, all the realizations just hit me harder then I was ready for, and my emotions became uncontrollable. As ridiculous as it may sound, I just couldn’t help but break down into tears.

People who haven’t been fans of the game/in the fandom may not realize this, but everyone is so fucking shocked. This is like one big nightmare. None of us were expecting anything like this. None of us wanted something like this to happen. All any of us ever wanted was to have our cute little anime game full of our favorite characters and silly tropes. And now what’s going to happen? What’s going to happen to the story that has been being planned this entire time? What’s going to happen to all the characters that we’ve all grown to love over these several years? Especially the ones that only have a few sentences of personality? We were all so excited and prepared to see the characters develop and hear how the story would end. But now it just seems that all those years of work are going to fade into obscurity. This might really be the nail in the coffin. We are all so objectively heartbroken. My god, I still can’t believe this. I’ve been following the development of this game since I was young, and I’ve been trying to wait patiently all these years so that I could finally play the game. It can’t possibly end on a note as terrible as this. It just can’t.

At this point, my biggest hope for the future of this game is that YandereDev will just hand the game over to a different team, company, person, or anyone else that has more experience so that they can help take care of the much bigger responsibilities/problems that the game still currently has, and get this game completed. It would still be his game, kind of, but it would have new people in charge of it. It’s a slim chance, but maybe, just maybe if the game was under new control, some of the volunteers, artists, voice actors/actresses, etc. would be willing to lend their iconic talent and support to the game once again, since it would no longer in the hands of YandereDev. The game could also even be given better mechanics and models, it wouldn’t be so low-budget anymore, and it would most probably get competed much, much faster.

And who knows. Maybe with just enough luck, and by some crazy miracle, Yandere Simulator can be revived and be turned into a full, enjoyable, and successful game.

Like I said before, I’ve been taking a break from art for a while now, and I don’t plan on starting up again for a while, but when I do, I am still planning on making fanart of Yandere Simulator. Not only because it’s my art, and I get to draw whatever I want, but also because I should be allowed to continue drawing something if it helps me improve with my artwork. (Which Yandere Simulator has.) And I’m still so attached to the game’s characters, aesthetics, environments, etc. and I’m not sure how much longer I will be, but I still want to make art of the things I like. Also, just because I’m making fanart does not instantly mean that I’m supporting YandereDev. I haven’t given him any money ever in my life, and you don’t even give him any money when you play the game. (And I’ve never even had a chance to play the game anyway, and now, I may never get the chance.)

I know that it may seem as though I’ve been focusing more on the game then I have on the victim and what happened to her, and like I said, we all feel sorry and wish the best for her, but I believe that I and all the other fans of this game are allowed to grieve the very possible loss of something we were all so enthusiastic over, and something that was a big part of many of our lives.

Well, that’s all I have to say. Thank you to anyone who reads all of this I know it’s a lot lol

But I have to go now.

Stay safe everyone and take care ✌️<3

[adventures-of-the-creeping-bam]

NEVER SPLIT THE PARTY: THE ADVENTURES OF THE CREEPING BAM,  BOOK THREE: WARMER - CHAPTER 27

If you’re new to the story, please go check out Book 1 first …

Book 3 Chapter 1 is here …

MPORTANT:  Please note this story includes content that may be considered mature, such as moderate battle violence, some strong language and occasional mild sexual scenes.

If you want to support my writing, feel free to swing by my Patreon or Ko-fi.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN:  ART

I must’ve drifted off sometime in the afternoon, I realise now it must be getting late the way most o’ the candles have been extinguished round the room, just a few burning now, most o’ the remaining light coming from the fire burning in the hearth.  Reckon I was slow realising just how much time I’d actually gone without more’n a drunken snatch o’ sleep that Krakka then just burned right outta me with his god magic.  I mean he sobered me up, gave me an edge again for the fight on the Heath, but … fuck, it was a rough night an’ morning after.  And even worse after the warehouse …

Thorin … Hardway was annihilated.  Whatever the fuck that rogue wizard set up in there did its job spectacularly.  Worse the way they set up all that scrap metal to make the wreckage a whole lot more brutal, I never really heard about anything like that before.  Must’ve been something that evil bitch Vandryss dreamed up, seems like just the kinda cruel trick she’d think of.

The chaos afterwards … I’ll admit my sleep’s been less than restful cuz of it.  When I’m shaken awake again I come up a good deal rougher than I’d like, genuinely jumping outta my near-prone sprawl on the couch in the Temple lounge with my heart pounding, and I feel how clammy I am under my leather.  Sweating up a storm in my sleep … no wonder, given the half-remembered horrors I just escaped.  Something loud and angry and very wet, genuinely soaked in blood and terror, I reckon.  Whatever it was shook loose by that terrible blast and everything that followed it.  Not just what did but what could have.

So I’m sat right up when I open my eyes, wide as they’ll go I reckon, and I’m genuinely a little surprised to see it’s Yeslee who’s drawing back now.  I didn’t scare her, I know that much, she don’t look even remotely rattled and I wouldn’t have expected it either, but maybe there’s a touch o’ concern in her look as she examines me.  She ain’t straightened back up yet, still leaning over the back of the couch, watchful now.

“Oh … fuck, that was …”  I feel the flush of heat rising under my face, and like always I’m glad o’ my fur and the way it can so easily hide it.  “Sorry.  I’m just …”

I don’t finish as I feel the small, rumpled shape tucked in close beside me stirring now, a somewhat lost, confused mew of half-consciousness escaping her as she starts to shove herself up too.  Bloody hell … I can’t believe she actually stayed.  When she settled in beside me she told me not to say a word about it, and definitely not to try anything, she just needed to crash, same as me.  I fully expected her to be gone long before I woke up again.

Finally Darwyn sits up too, bleary as hell as she blinks away through her dishevelled hair, fighting for focus.  “Oh fuck … what is it?”

This just makes Yes frown a little deeper, but she don’t answer.  Instead she just straightens up at last, half turning to regard someone else who’s stepping forward now.  Normally I can see just fine in the relative gloom we’re surrounded by, but I’m still waking up myself, it takes me a long moment to focus so I have trouble recognising ‘em …

Fuck.  My eyes widen again, and I genuinely start to smile, I’m a little overwhelmed to see Shay.  “Hey!  You’re okay!  You are okay, ain’t you?”

Letting out a deep, weary sigh I feel in my bones, the half-orc slumps a little, reaching up with both her hands in order to shove her hair out of her face.  She’s stripped off her armour again, down to the well-fitted leather and padded linen under-armour she wears underneath it, which gives her a very svelte, lithe appearance.  That being said, the slouch in her posture kinda ruins the effect.  She’s tired, same as the rest of us.  “It’ll do.  Honestly, I think both of you had the smarter idea.”

She looks good, though, all things considering.  When we started to regroup after the blast, she was well out, having taken a major hit as Tulen jumped ‘em out, and if it hadn’t been for Hurrig Stormshield’s uncanny enchanted armour reckon she’d have been good and shredded.  In truth I’m surprised she actually removed it at all, I don’t think I’d ever take it off again after something like that …

That being said, she didn’t escape entirely unscathed.  She’s got a few cuts on her right cheek, one going pretty deep, that the healers have clearly been at, reduced to striking purple silk scars, and she got a little notch taken out of her ear too, I notice.  Like Kesla.  It don’t do a thing to make her look any less beautiful than she already is, it just makes her look more dangerous with it.

Shifting a little more on the cushions so I can swing my legs over the side and sit up properly, I give my back a little stretch.  “I dunno … feels like a bloody mixed blessing to me right now.  Can’t tell if I’m just fucked in the head now, or –”

“You’re fine.”  Yeslee growls, stood by now with her arms folded tight.  She’s as unmarked as the pair of us, of course, but then she had the good sense to start running the second people started shouting about getting the fuck out of that place.  “You’ll be fine.  You just need time.”

“Yeah, sure …”  I drop my head and brace my hands behind it as I double over for a long moment, breathing in and out several times through my nose and mouth.  Finally I give my back one last stretch, then look up again.  “Oh … okay, I’m all right.  What’s up?”

Shay don’t answer right away, instead shooting a cautious look at Yes while she just shrugs, although she looks down as she does it, suddenly unable to make eye contact.  Oh … well that can’t be good.  And now I start thinking about … oh shit … oh, no … that couldn’t be …

“No … please, she’s okay, ain’t she?  Tell me she didn’t –”

“She’s awake.”  Shay answers quick, wide-eyed and a little breathless as she catches on that she just shocked the hell outta me.  “Kesla’s … well she’s not not great, but she’s awake.  She’s pretty angry about her back, but I think that might be more about the tattoo than the actual wounds.”

Oh thank the gods … I breathe out again, my heart starting to slow, and after a second Darwyn surprises me as she gets up on her knees and reaches over, giving my shoulder a good, tight grip with her other hand wanders to the back of my neck and starts kneading with gentle but familiar surety.  Wow … ain’t felt that in a long time.  It’s almost enough to set me off purring.

“Yeah, sounds about right.”  I manage to chuckle now, mirthless and more’n a little bitter, I realise.  “Typical Kesla.”

She was definitely the one hit worst out of all of us.  Tulen took a nasty shot in the shoulder and very nearly lost hold of the other two, which I suspect might’ve been disastrous for Kesla and Shay when they were porting, I dunno exactly how that works, just how instantaneous the teleportation actually is.  When we found her she was screaming bloody murder about it, but I can’t say I was overly surprised – never mind it was a messy wound, a little deeper or just an inch more to the side and it might well have cut her arm clean off, I was quick remembering that it was also her first time ever actually getting hurt in the field.  She had no clue what it’d actually be like, so she was entirely unprepared.  So when we got back she was sent straight to the healers and I ain’t seen her since.

Kesla though … she definitely got it worse.  That flying metal … fuck, that shit must’ve been flying angry hot and scary fast to have torn through the steel of her back-plate like that.  Her half-plate got pretty comprehensively ruined by the blast, the shrapnel, I heard that’s what it’s called, hitting her harder’n one o’ Yeslee’s arrows.  I suspect if she hadn’t been wearing that plate, she might’ve been killed, and even Janna Merphin’s miraculous jack-of-plates only negated the damage a little more.  The worst of it still got through, and when we finally found her she was down, very much out, and bleeding badly.  She was priority number one, then – Lady Naru grabbed hold of both her and Shay on the spot and ported ‘em both back to the Temple before coming back to the rest of us.

When we finally got back, she was still in the most extreme back room of the infirmary, the Surgery itself, undergoing some serious, life-or-death treatment with the Temple’s most skilled clerics.  Honestly, when I last saw her Kesla looked bad enough I was genuinely expecting her to die, much like Shay damn near did a few days ago too.  Indeed I know full well that’s exactly what must’ve been going through her mind once she woke up again, prompting her to do the exact same thing that Gael did for her since it took her so long to resurface.  I’m sure she’s thoroughly relieved underneath all her clear exhaustion to see our friend and nominal leader’s gonna be all right after all … indeed, not only that, but it sounds like she’s already pretty much back to being her old self.

Once again, thank you Minerva.  You’re an incredible goddess.  You keep this up I just might have to start praying to you too.  Certainly I can now see what Gael’s always been going on about.

Thinking about our missing wizard puts a dampener on my good mood right away, and I deflate.  Shit … and that was our last chance to find ‘em, too.  Now we’re back to scrabbling about in the dark, meanwhile they’re …

When I look up again, I can see the clear concern in Shay’s face, knowing she’s read my mind pretty effectively.  So I take a deep breath and try to fortify myself again, figuring she would’ve just let us both keep sleeping if it wasn’t really important.  “Well yeah, that’s great news … so what is up?”

“Honestly?”  Shay’s expression don’t change, except maybe to get a little more haunted, actually.  That don’t do my nerves any favours.  “We’re not too sure ourselves.  Sessa just got back.”

I blink, having to take a beat to get my memories in order as the name throws me a little.  Must still have a little waking up to do … “Oh yeah, you mean Gael and Tulen’s friend?  The cute one?”

Darwyn hisses, immediately stopping with the massage while giving my shoulder a much rougher pinch before letting go now as she starts to shuffle away from me.  No surprise there, she knows me too well, even if I don’t really mean anything by it.

Yeslee, on the other hand, simply rolls her eyes, while Shay chuckles, somewhat ruefully.  “Gods Art, you think they’re all cute.”

“Well they are.  She certainly is.”  I cock a brow with a half-smile, letting her know I ain’t being remotely serious about it all.  “Yeah … anyway, that’s good, ain’t it?  I thought we were expecting her.  If anything she’s late.  Almost a whole day, in fact.”

Again, the two women exchange a somewhat worried, furtive glance, Shay’s shaky good humour evaporating instantly.  “Um … no, that’s not exactly … she came back alone.  And she was hurt.  Quite badly.”

I stiffen immediately, while Darwyn slips off the cushion now, dropping to her feet beside us as she reaches over to collect her gear and start pulling it all back on with a rather nervous look now.  “Oh, that … yeah, I can see how that sounds … bad.  What ‘s happening, then?”

“Well, we’re going back into the infirmary to have a word with her, see if we can find out what’s going on.  The last thing we need right now is any more surprises.  I figured you’d want to know about it.”  She sighs.  “I’m sorry, I know you’re pretty focused on getting Gael back right now, and believe me, I sympathise, but –”

“No, you’re right.”  I push myself up onto my feet, my legs surprisingly steady and my back not complaining like I might’ve expected – looks like that little bit of rest helped after all, despite the bad dreams.  For a moment I consider the rest o’ my gear, but in the end I leave it where it is in the bundle on the floor, instead just stooping for my swordbelt on its own.  “This is important, clearly.  Let’s get on it.  I wanna see how Kesla is, anyway.”

Smiling again, Shay, gives my mane a quick little ruffle, and I don’t shake her off.  Honestly, right now I don’t really mind any.  I start to strap my belt on while Darwyn cuts round to the chair where Zuldrad’s been camped out since we all settled in, and the way he’s just curled up in it now I reckon he’s succumbed to his own tiredness right now.  Even so, when she gives him a poke he sits up quick, blinking wide.

“What?  What is it … huh?”  He casts about for a moment, still blinking, until he registers the rest of us and starts to relax again.  “Oh.  Hey … what’s going on?”

“Something … I dunno.”  I shrug as I step over, picking up his own bundled tangle of harnesses and weapons and handing ‘em over.  “We’re heading over to the infirmary.  You good?”

Frowning, he shuffles off the chair and pushes himself upright, accepting my offering now.  “I’m … fine, I reckon.  After earlier, I … reckon I needed that.”  He dips into one of his pockets for a moment, and retrieves his smoked-glass lenses, snapping them open to slip on in preparation for the journey.  “Let’s go.”

Giving his shoulder a light slap, I turn to Shay and nod, and she returns it before stepping away, heading for the door now.  Yes hangs back for a moment, giving me a complicated look, and I stare back at her for a moment as I cinch the buckle in before letting my sword hang comfortably on my hip.  “What?”

She takes a couple beats answering, but I got the feeling she wants to say something all the same.  Finally she just shrugs, turning away too with a noncommittal grunt of:  “Later.  Maybe.”

I hold my tongue, not expecting to get any further now with a protestation than I ever have in the past, and just start after the pair of ‘em, trusting the others to follow.  Darwyn’s already caught up with me before we get into the hallway, and she seems to be in a better mood now, all things considered.  Certainly she don’t seem to still be irritated with me over that harmless crack, but then she knows me well enough.

In truth she’s been a good deal better all round with me since we got all that shit straightened out early in the morning, before we headed out.  She was proper relieved to see me in one piece after the blast, and genuinely nice to me when we got back here.  Sure, when we settled down she made it clear me trying anything would not be tolerated, but in truth it didn’t feel all that serious, like she was mostly going through the motions of her frustration now.  I reckon, after me meeting Vanna and all that air getting cleared between us, maybe she’s finally come round to me again.

I dunno exactly how I feel about that, now I think about it.  I ain’t pissed at her anymore, even after I made it clear she should’ve told me.  Maybe we’re on genuinely good terms again, maybe she might even be open to something like what we once had again, or maybe something new … but I dunno if I am anymore.  Something’s … I can’t really figure it, but it’s like something’s really changed.  It’s strange …

Even so, when I turn to her and give her a commiserating smile, she cocks a brow and at least quirks the corner of her own mouth up a little in return.  It’s something I wouldn’t have expected even a day ago …

When we make it into the main chapel, Zul now wearing his lenses again in deference to all the candles, we find Driver 8 still hunkered down in front of the altar, while three of the Temple’s resident wizards fuss about him.  He’s getting a proper royal treatment, clearly, but then he needs it after what happened to him out there.

The pervading theory, once we’d been able to actually think about what had just happened to us again after the warehouse got turned into so much blackened kindling and ash, was that while that trap was meant for all of us, Tavarrat had one target in particular in mind.  Even with an armoured ogre, clearly a leftover from the Northern Campaign back before the Occupation, there was ­no chance Jammund’s people could realistically get rid of our golem, so they had to come up with a workaround.  Looks like they picked a doozy.

Looking Big Man over as we approach around the side of the chamber, they came impressively close to pulling it off, too.  He’s definitely a mess, at least compared to his usual dusty, blood-splattered self after a normal fight, but then when we first found him he actually seemed genuinely out of it, there were a few minutes there where we thought he might actually have been genuinely destroyed.  I mean, granted he was still in one piece when we found him at the edge of the crater blasted into the centre of the wreckage that was once the Hardway warehouse, but he wasn’t moving, not even when Krakka started trying to resuscitate him.

To be honest I don’t think his god magic really did much to help the situation, and there was no lifting him from where he lay, on his side and smoking from where his whole shell looked like it’d been sandblasted and scalded, still glowing hot in a few places.  Even the glow in his eyes was out, they were just dull red glass, but at least they were intact, and after a whole lot of praying and urging from our increasingly flustered cleric, the fire finally rekindled itself.  Even so, it was several minutes before he even started moving again, and longer before he could gather himself enough to talk.  Like he’d genuinely been knocked right out.  That scared the hell out of all of us.

We couldn’t risk Lady Naru getting wiped out again trying to port him back and leaving the rest of us stranded, so instead Yeslee elected to camp out on the edge of the wreck and watch for anyone coming to check out what was going on.  Meanwhile me and Zul did the best we could to clear a big enough patch of ground of ash and detritus so the sorcerer could draw out a teleportation circle so we could all go at once.  She even has the foresight to plan it out so that it would destroy itself once we used it, a trick Darwyn immediately recognised cuz apparently Gael used it after they caught Vik.

Even so, we came damn close to getting caught, by the time the circle was ready to go Yes was creeping back fast through the chaos to warn us that there were townsguard moving in to investigate the damage.  They were being pretty cautious given the smoking, hellish mess, but clearly that wouldn’t last, so we needed to move now.  So we helped Driver 8 crawl onto the circle the best he could and then Lady Naru activated it and we were back.

He's been here since, with half a dozen Temple staff taking care to fix the damage that’s been done to him the best they can.  I’m sure part of it’s just their sense of duty, theirs is a temple dedicated as much to aiding their fellow man as the pursuit and appreciation of knowledge, so to them he’s just another unfortunate in need of healing.  But these wizards are also, undoubtedly, pretty enthusiastic about just having the chance to actually get to handle and maybe even mend a real honest to gods golem, which is very much in keeping with the sheer wonder he’s engendered the whole time he’s been here.

Clearly they’ve already done some impressive work fixing him up, I can see whole sections of his previously pitted, gouged and badly scored armour that’s looking pretty pristine again, but there’s still a lot of work to do.  As it is a small pile of half-melted pieces of twisted metal shrapnel that’s been pulled free from his shell has grown at the base of the statue of Minerva, like some strange offering, and there’s still plenty more stuck in him now.  Whole plates on his right arm and much of his chest are still pretty wrecked, and the three who are still working at it look to be tiring now.  The rest are stretched out on the front pews, looking thoroughly exhausted, although they still make an effort to sit up as we arrive.

“Hey, Big Man.  Y’all right?”

The golem shifts slightly at that, giving me at least the impression he’s now looking my way, and when he starts speaking he sounds the same as always, albeit more impressive now given the acoustics of the great vaulted room.  “I am well enough, Art.  The good folk of the Temple have been very kind, helping to bring me back to my optimum operational parameters.  I am most grateful to them.”

“It’s our pleasure, sir.”  One of the busy wizards pants, lowering her hands from one of his chest plates and giving ‘em a good wring.  She looks unsteady on her feet, while her eyes are heavily lidded, and I can see how bad her hands are shaking as she tries to loosen up her stiffening knuckles.  The other two don’t look much better off.

“Minerva … have you lot been at it all this time?”  I turn to Shay.  “What time even is it now?”

Frowning, Shay thinks about it for a moment.  “I think it must be close to midnight by now.  They were doing this before when we came to find you.  As far as I know they’ve been doing this non-stop.”

“They have indeed.”  the golem rumbles, matter-of-fact as always.

“For Minerva’s sake, take a break, you lot.  Get some sleep or at least rest for a bit.”  Shay lets out a heavy sigh, setting her hands on her hips now as she looks down, shaking her head.  “I don’t know … what do you think Big Man?”

“I am functional enough for now, Shay.  I will keep, as Kesla would say.”  I think he must consider for a moment, because he then asks:  “Are we needed again?”

That makes her frown.  “Oh … I don’t know, Big Man.  Can you make it into the Infirmary?  I’m not sure the doorways are really built with you in mind.”

“I am sure you can fill me in on anything that I need to know afterwards.  For now I am content to wait.”

Turning to regard Yeslee for a moment, Shay sighs again while shuffling her feet.  “Okay, I guess you’ve earned the right to rest for a little longer if you feel you need to.”  Now she turns and starts eyeing all the other wizards closely, particularly the three who are now making their very weary, slightly unsteady way to join the others on the pews.  “As long as the rest of you follow his example, at least until you feel you can help again without burning yourselves out.”

“Yes, Mistress.”  that same wizard sighs after planting herself, wiping the back of her sleeve across a very sweaty brow as she blinks her bleary eyes.

“We’ll let you know as soon as we can.”  she tells Big Man as she turns back  “Hopefully it’s nothing that can’t keep, anyway.”

“Of course, Shay.”  He don’t nod, but I suspect he would if he could.

Frowning again, Shay looks around at the rest of us, and I suspect she still don’t actually want to leave him outta this.  But then Yeslee just starts walking on her own, and that decides it for her as she scrambles to follow.  “Okay, well … just, I don’t know.  See you when we’re done.”

I let the others go ahead, instead just looking up at the golem, and I reckon he’s doing the same back now.  I’ll admit I’m glad he’s all right, it genuinely surprised me how hard seeing him laid out like that actually hit me.  I’d come to think of him as genuinely unstoppable, it was a sobering moment.  I realise now it’s a sign of just how fond of this massive metal man I’ve become.

So I offer up a fond, is somewhat tired smile, and he dips his shoulders ever so slightly in a very clear responding nod.  That makes me smile a little wider, and I return my own nod before heading off to catch up with the others.

When I reach Darwyn, I find her stood just outside the now open main door to the emergency ward, while the others are nowhere to be seen, but I can hear voices inside the room now, a whole cluttered selection of ‘em in fact.  It’s not unlike the last few times we been back here, when there’s been chaos after a fight and everybody’s been rushing round at once.  To be honest I’m really starting to dislike this place on principle through its associations.

Then I see Dar ain’t waiting on me after all, she’s looking down at the floor, and the way she’s so stiff and tense immediately puts me on alert.  She looks proper shook, I realise, then I realise why – there’s a sizeable splash of blood on the floor at her feet.  I realise now that it ain’t the first one I seen, either, it’s just that up until we got into this part o’ the Temple the relatively dark carpet made it hard to spot.  And then there’s the attendant I just passed, diligently mopping the floor, and I realise now he was clearly making his way up to this patch.  But this is too fresh to miss, even on the dark tiles here, still wet and slick enough to reflect the lamplight.

“What the fuck happened?”  I ask her as I step up.

Darwyn don’t respond, and for a moment I think she’s genuinely frozen, just rooted to the spot, but then the finally looks up and points through the door.  “In there.”

Oh … yeah, that can’t be good.  I look at her for a long beat but she just stares right back, and while she ain’t scared witless like I thought, she’s definitely shook.  Not really knowing what to say to perk her up right now, instead I just turn and head through the door after the others, taking great care to skirt the blood while I’m going.

It’s another stark, minimalistic chamber, white walls and lots o’ light with another smooth, dark tiled floor, but a little different from some of the others.  There are racks and cupboards lining two of the walls, each shelf arranged with arrays of tools and instruments in gleaming, pristine steel or phials, bottles, flasks and pots of medicines and oils and whatever else they need to treat wounds and whatever.  The other walls are lines with beds, almost a dozen of ‘em altogether, although the vast majority are empty right now.  After all, the majority of the intensive care from this morning and before should have been taken care of by now.

The clamour’s settled down some, but the room’s still in something like professional chaos all the same.  The others are pulling back from one of the beds in the middle of the room, where three of the clerics are currently working away, while I find Krakka’s stood close by, not actually helping right now but still with his head bowed, hands knotted together.  Muttering under his breath like always as he offers up prayers to his own goddess.

Tulen’s there, sat on the bed, which surprises me, I thought her own wounds would’ve been healed a while ago.  Except it’s not her that the clerics are working on right now, she’s simply there for comfort, her arms wrapped around Sessa as she moans and cries and winces, wide eyes wet with tears as they work on her arm.  Oh gods … as I walk in I finally get a look at what’s happened to her, and then I can’t stop moving towards her now, deeply struck by what I’m seeing.

Fuck … it’s been a little while since I saw wounds like that, we ain’t been up against something that mauls folk since back in the Reaches.  Her right hand is just … gone, there’s nothing at all below her wrist, and she’s entirely missing her sleeve from close to her shoulder, while much of the flesh of her arm has been badly ripped and stripped, very little skin left untorn.  Many of the marks gouge deep into her flesh, some right to the bone, and while the healers are working hard to fix the damage, so far they don’t seem to be having much luck.

That’s not all, either.  There’s a big tear in her robes as well, on her right side, where the worst of the attack must’ve been, although from what I can see the flesh seems to be mending there now.  Likely the clerics focused on that first, since that definitely would’ve been the most life-threatening wound.  Certainly they’ve clearly managed to stop the worst of bleeding from her arm, but they’re still a long way from done with the rest of it.

There are two deep gashes in her cheek too, the higher one barely missing her eye, and these are still bleeding a lot.  Gods … what the hell happened to her?

When I finally stop and look round at the others, they’re all as spooked as Darwyn, and I realise just how shook I am too.  Even Yeslee’s hanging back, her eyes wider than they usually get, which is always a bad sign, and there’s a slight screwed up creasing to her nose that shows she’s catching a particularly bad smell … gods, that’s it, that’s what’s hitting me so hard.  There’s something in the air, something really wrong, that smells like death.  It’s coming from Sessa, which don’t make any real sense, she’s still with us, clearly …

No, it’s coming from her clothes, and her wounds.  Oh … okay, that can’t be good.

After a moment Tulen kisses her lover on the unwounded cheek and gives her a gentle crush, leaning her forehead against Sessa’s crown, and I can see now that she’s openly weeping too.  That ain’t any kinda surprise, it hurts her to see the person who means the most to her torn up like this.  I can easily imagine what that must feel like.  She’s going through as much hell as Sessa right now, but her scars won’t be visible after.

“All right, all right … I’m done, here it comes.”  Lady Naru’s hustling over from the corner of the room now, and she’s holding a jug in one hand and a cup in the other.  She looks pretty chill right now, all things considered, but now I’m looking reckon I can see a subtle edge to her all the same, like this is wearing on her too.

Tulen reaches out a hand before she’s even close, and as soon as the cup’s within reach she just snatches it out of the sorcerer’s hand, but I can’t blame her for forgetting her manners right now.  She shifts herself a little on the bed now and pulls Sessa a little tighter as she raises the cup.  “Here, this’ll help.  Drink it.”

Sessa just looks down at the cup, her eyes wide and wild, and the way they’re rolling right now I’m not sure she’s really seeing anything.  She just whimpers, her one remaining hand clawing without any real focus, just snatching up a fistful of Tulen’s robes.

“Oh … come on, Sessa.  Baby, please … Sessa!  Come on!  Please, just … please!  Just drink it, please!”  She holds the cup in front of her face now, bringing it close to her mouth, and Sessa blinks several times, her brow knitting while she clenches her teeth, and after a moment she finally seems to focus enough to see it.  Finally she manages to pull her fingers free and raise her hand, reaching for the cup now.

Even so, it’s shaking badly, so when she finally gets hold of it Tulen maintains her own grip on it too, helping her guide it to her lover’s lips, then tipping it to help her gulp it down.  For a moment Sessa balks, her eyes screwing up narrow as her face tightens, it’s clearly some bitter tasting shit, but Tulen won’t relent, insisting now as she makes Sessa finish the whole cupful.  Only then does she hold it out for Lady Naru to collect again.

For a few moments Sessa gags, looking like she’s fit to vomit, then the urge must pass cuz she just gasps, panting some as she lets her head fall back, whimpering again … then she opens her mouth again and lets one hell of a burp out.  Any other time it’d be one hilarious bastard, but right now …

But it seems to work, I realise – her shaking slowly starts to ease off, and she stops flinching, her muscles seeming to relax.  Finally she lets a little sigh go and her head lolls a little, turning now so she can rest her face against Tulen’s and she just sits for a long moment, breathing in and out now, slower and deeper than before too.  More controlled, and seemingly more comfortable.  Looks like the pain’s easing right off, then.  I could do with some o’ that shit myself right now, ‘least for my nerves.

The healers renew their efforts with greater focus now as she relaxes, and finally, I reckon, I can actually see the wounds looking … well, they’re still bad, but maybe they’re starting to heal up again.  Looks like it’s still slow, nasty work, though.

Finally Shay steps forward again, and the others seem to be relaxing a little too, or at least their tension’s starting to ease a little.  I’m feeling a little better myself too, although I’m still a long way from great – she still looks too bad to put me at ease.  “Sessa?  Hey, Sessa … sweetheart, are you with us now?”

A frown starts to touch her forehead again, but it’s more confusion now than actual discomfort.  She blinks a little as she looks up, but it don’t take her so long to focus this time as she looks at Shay.  “Oh … oh, Mistress Swift-Kill.  I’m … I’m sorry … that was …”  Her frown deepens a little more, and she winces again, but it seems more detached this time, nowhere near as focused.  So she’s still feeling some pain, then, it’s just fuzzy and indistinct.  Guess that stuff just took enough edge off for her to come back to herself.

“Sessa, it’s okay.”  Shay drops onto her haunches now as she steps closer, reaching up to take hold of the half-orc’s remaining hand in a gentle grip as she glances up into her big, distressingly red eyes.  “You’ve been hurt, very badly.  I can understand you’re a little … scattered.  But we need to know what happened.  Where you’ve been.  And where Madame Daste is.”

“Oh, I don’t … I’m …”  She licks her lips now, wincing again as she looks down, trying to move now but Tulenj just wraps her arms a little tighter and keeps her in place, gently shushing her.  “No … no, I do … oh …”  She frowns deeper for a moment when she looks up, casting about now, and I think this might be the first time she even sees the rest of us gathered round her.  “Yes, Madame Daste … oh … oh no …”

“What?”  Shay straightens up a little, becoming more alert as she takes Sessa’s hand in her other one too.  “Please, Sessa, we need to know, what –”

“Dead …”  The word comes out in a bare whisper, nothing more than a breath really, and she looks so haunted all of a sudden.  “She’s dead … she’s dead.  They’re all dead.  Madame Daste is dead, Halik is dead, everyone who was with us … oh … there were so many, all dead now.  Oh … oh, Minerva … help me …”  Her face starts to crease up, and the tears are coming again as she whimpers.

“Shit …”  I’m the first to speak after a long, heavy moment where no-one seems to know what to say, and at least half of ‘em jump when it’s out.  I reach up now, brushing my paws up and back over my scruffy mane, not sure what to do as I start to turn towards the door again.  In time to see Darwyn stood a little way inside now, looking shocked as the rest of us.  And she ain’t alone now.  Kesla’s behind her, not so much stood in the doorway as leaning against it, like it’s the only thing keeping her upright.

You’d think she’d be as haunted as the rest of us right now, given what we just heard, but she just looks pissed.  Angry and not even remotely scared …

TO BE CONTINUED ...

[lilliebabie]

tw: self condescension, loneliness, general mental illness and negative subjects (possibly psychotic thoughts)

This is not something to read if you are regressed

i dont feel good. i feel ill right now. its really embarrassing because i know its childish and unimportant and no one else would care like this but basically ive been a huge fan of the magnus archives since summer 2020 and its been a big part of my life, i was genuinely hyper fixated on it for a while like it was what i was thinking about seventy percent of the time. its still the only piece of media I consistently read fics for. I prepared myself well for its end and coped with it remarkably well for someone as pitiful as myself. i accepted it and felt okay. i really really felt ok, and satisfied and satiating and an appropriate amount of sad. i thought it was a good ending. a well written one. anyone with any good media literacy skills can probably know that an melancholy yet ambiguous ending was best for a show like tma. one of my biggest pet peeves is when pieces of media that closed their stories extremely intentionally and cleanly open it up again for more money and because there out of ideas. And tma isn’t even doing an extra thing like I thought they were suggesting with an arg they released. It’s a full on sequel. I feel so sick writing this. i know it’s pathetic. i know it’s embarrassing. but it feels like the corpse of something I loved was buried nicely within me and I’ve been through the stages of grief and I’ve accepted it, but now my acceptance has been broken because the corpse has been dug up and desecrates for money and a lack of ideas. seeing the worst parts of capitalism and of media and art within it taint my favorite art is really really hard right now. And it’s so rough because I think I recall Jonny sims emphasizing that this was the end point blank period. And it should have been. But nothing I love can stay nice. I don’t know. i can’t handle it all again. All the stress. This is also so so so embarrassing, no one looks at my posts so at this point I’m putting it out in tot he void which is fine by me, I just need to get it off my chest, but i am so so so painfully lonely and understimulated and uninterested in life too that ive been trying to imagine that Martin from tma is my friend. I try to hear him taking to me and being next to me because I feel like I’m losing my humanity and my connection to human being and my very being will literally cosmically unravel if I can’t put myself in delusion that I have a friend who loves me on a deeper level than is possible. I don’t know. I don’t know. They’re messing up my equilibrium. Everything was laid to rest. It’s a terrible decision writing wise too. The finale has lost all meaning. Rusty quill has been laying off workers and taking breaks on other works for this dumb arg bc I guess nothing was making them money so just bring back the FINISHED series you promised you wouldn’t bring back I guess. Nothing means anything anymore. When I found out about all this, like when it came out that this new content would be tma2 and that they were firing people if felt like k was losing it and I had to start calling out for people who don’t exist to keep me existing. I hate them. I can’t do this. It’s hard to watch such a well written thing become shut writing for money. HE SAID HE WOULDNT BRING IT BACK. i need to sleep now and I guess I’ll pretend there is another person here and I’ll make it real.

[c-is-for-circinate]

For a long, large part of my life, being queer in a media landscape--finding queerness in a media landscape--has meant theft.

I'm a Fandom Old, somehow, these days, older than most and younger than some, in that way that's grown associated with grumpy crotchetyness and shotguns on porches and back in my day, we had to wade through our Yahoo Groups mailing lists uphill both ways, boring and irrelevant anecdotes from Back In Those Days when homophobia clearly worked differently than it does now, probably because we weren't trying hard enough. I've seen a lot of stories through the years. I've read a lot of fanfic. (More days than not, for the past twenty years. I've read a lot of fanfic.)

When people my age start groaning and sighing at conversations about representation and queerbaiting, when we roll our eyes and drag all the old war stories out again in the face of AO3 is terrible and Not Good Enough, so often what we say is: you Young Folks Today have no idea how hard, how scary, how limiting it was to be queer anywhere Back In Those Days. Including online, maybe especially online, including in a media landscape that hated us so much more than any one you've ever known. And that is true. Always and everywhere, again and again, it's true, we remember, it's true.

We don't talk so much about the joy of it.

Online fan spaces were my very first queer communities, ever. I was thirteen, I was fourteen, I was fifteen--I was a lonely, over-precocious "gifted kid" two years too young for my grade level in an all-girls' Catholic school in the suburbs--I lived in a world where gay people were a rumor and an insult and a news story about murder. I was straight, of course, obviously, because real people were straight and anyway I was weird enough already--I couldn't be two things strange, couldn't be gay too, but--well, I could read the stories. I could feel things about that. I would have those stories to help me, a few years later, when I knew I couldn't call myself straight any more.

And those stories were theft. There was never any doubt about that. We wrote disclaimers at the top of every fic, with the specter of Anne Rice's lawyers around every corner. We hid in back-corners of the internet, places you could only find through a link from a link from a link on somebody else's recs page, being grateful for the tiny single-fandom archives when you found them, grateful for the webrings where they existed. It was theft, all of it, the stories about characters we did not own, the videotaped episodes on your best friend's VHS player, one single episode pulled off of Limewire over the course of three days.

It was theft, we knew, to even try and find ourselves in these stories to begin with. How many fics did I read in those days about two men who'd always been straight, except for each other, in this one case, when love was stronger than sexual orientation? We stole our characters away from the heterosexual lives they were destined to have. We stole them away from writers and producers and TV networks who work overtime to shower them in Babes of the Week, to pretend that queerness was never even an option. This wasn't given to us. This wasn't meant for us. This wasn't ours to have, ever, ever in the first place. But we took it anyway.

And oh, my friends, it was glorious.

We took it. We stole. And again and again, for years and years and years, we turned that theft into an art. We looked for every opening, every crack in every sidewalk where a little sprout of queerness might grow, and we claimed it for our own and we grew whole gardens. We grew so sly and so skilled with it, learning to spot the hints of oh, this could be slashy in every new show and movie to come our way. Do you see how they left these character dynamics here, unattended on the table? How ripe they are for the pocketing. Here, I'll help you carry them. We'll make off with these so-called straight boys, and we only have to look back if somebody sets out another scene we want for our own.

We were thieves, all of us, and that was fine and that was fair, because to exist as queer in the world was theft to begin with. Stolen time, stolen moments--grand larceny of the institution of marriage, breaking and entering to rob my mother's hopes for grandchildren. Every shoplifted glance at the wrong person in the locker room (and it didn't matter if we never peeked, never dared, they called us out on it anyway). Every character in every fic whose queerness became a crime against this ex-wife, that new love interest. Every time we dared steal ourselves away from the good straight partners we didn't want to date.

And: we built ourselves a den, we thieves, wallpapered in stolen images and filled to the brim with all the words we'd written ourselves. We built ourselves a home, and we filled it with joy. Every vid and art and fic, every ship, every squee. Over and over, every straight boy protagonist who abandoned all womankind for just this one exception with his straight boy protagonist partner found gay orgasms and true love at the end.

Over and over, we said: this isn't ours, this isn't meant to be ours, you did not give this to us--but we are taking it anyway. We will burglarize you for building blocks and build ourselves a palace. These stories and this place in the world is not for us, but we exist, and you can't stop us. It's ours now, full of color and noise, a thousand peoples' ideas mosaic'ed together in celebration. We made this, and it will never be just yours again. You won't ever truly get it back, no matter how many lawyers you send, not completely. We keep what we steal.

.

Things shifted over time, of course. That's good. That's to be celebrated. Nobody should have to steal to survive. It should not be a crime, should not feel like a crime, to find yourself and your space in the world.

There were always content creators who could slip a little wink in when they laid out their wares, oh what's this over here, silly me leaving this unattended where anybody could grab it, of course there might be more over by the side door if you come around the alleyway (but if anybody asks, you didn't get this from ME). We all watched Xena marry Gabrielle, in body language and between the lines. We sat around and traded theories and rumors about whether the people writing Due South knew what they were doing when they sent their buddy cops off into the frozen north alone together at the end of the show, if they'd done it on purpose, if they knew. But over the years, slowly, thankfully, the winks became less sly.

A teenage boy put his hand on another teenage boy's hand and said, you move me, and they kissed on network TV, in a prime-time show, on FOX, and the world didn't burn down. Here and there, where they wanted to, where they could without getting caught by their bosses and managers, content creators stopped subtly nudging people around the back door and started saying, "Here. This is on offer here too, on purpose. You get to have this, too."

And of course, of course that came with a whole host of problems too. Slide around to the back door but you didn't get this from me turned into it's an item on our special menu, totally legit, you've just got to ask because the boss throws a fit if we put it out front. Shopkeepers and content creators started advertising on the sly, come buy your fix here!, hiding the fine print that says you still have to take what you've purchased home and rebuild it with your semi-legal IKEA hacks. Maybe they'll consider listing that Destiel or Sterek as a full-service menu item next year. Is that Crowley/Aziraphale the real thing or is it lite?

And those problems are real and the conversations are worth having, and it's absolutely fair to be frustrated that you can't find the ship you want on sale in anything like your color and size in a vast media landscape packed full of discount hetships and fast-fashion m/f. It's fair to be angry. It's fair to be frustrated. Queerbait is a word that exists for a reason.

There's a part of me that hurts, though, every time the topic comes up. It's a confusing, bad-mannered part of me, but it's still very real. And it's not because I'm fawning for crumbs, trying to be the Good, Non-Threatening Gay. It's not that I'm scared and traumatized by the thought of what might happen if we dare raise our voices and ask for attention. (Well. Not mostly. I'll always remember being quiet and scared and fifteen, but it's been a long two decades since then. I know how to ask for a hell of a lot more now.)

It's because I remember that cozy, plush-wallpapered den of joyful thieves. I remember you keep what you steal.

Every single time--every time--when a story I love sets a couple of characters out on a low, unguarded table, perfectly placed to be pilfered on the sly and taken home and smushed together like a couple of dolls, my very first thought is always, always joy. Always, that instinct says, yay! Says, this is ours now. As soon as I go home and crawl into that pillow-fort den, my instincts say, I will surely find people already at work combing through spoils and finding new ways to combine them, new ways to make them our own. I know there's fic for that. I've already seen fic for that, and I wasn't really interested last time, but the new store display's got my brain churning, and I can't wait to see what the crew back at the hideout does with this.

Every time, that's where my brain goes. And oh, when I realize the display's put out on purpose, that somebody snuck in a legitimate special menu item, when the proprietor gives me the nod and wink and says, you don't have to come around the side, I know it's not much but here--there is so much joy and relief and hope in me from that! Oh, what we can make with these beautiful building blocks. Oh what a story we can craft from the pieces. Oh, the things we can cobble together. Look at that, this one's a little skimpy on parts but we can supplement it, this one's got a whole outline we can fill in however we want. This one technically comes semi-preassembled, and that's boring as shit and a pain to take back apart, but that's fine, we'll manage. We're artists and thieves. I bet someone's pulling out the AU saw to cut it to pieces already.

And then I get back to our den, which has moved addresses a dozen times over the years and mostly hangs out on Tumblr now (and the roof leaks and the landlord's sketchy as fuck but at least they don't charge rent, and we've made worse places our own). And I show up, ready for joy--ready for a dozen other people who saw that low-hanging fruit on that unguarded table, who got the nod and wink about the special menu item, who're ready to get so excited about this newest haul. Did you see what we picked up? The theft was so easy, practically begging to be stolen. The last owner was an idiot with no idea what to do with it. The last owner knew exactly what it could become, bless their heart, under a craftsman with more time on their hands, so they looked away on purpose at just the right time to let me take it home. I show up every time ready for our space, the place that fed me on joy and self-confidence when I was fifteen and starving. The place that taught me, yes, we are thieves, because it is RIGHT to take what we need, and the beautiful things we create are their own justification. We are thieves, and that's wonderful, because nothing is handed to us and that means we get to build our own palaces. We get to keep everything we steal.

I go home, and even knowing the world is different, my instincts and heart are waiting for that. And I walk in the door, and I look at my dash, and I glance over at twitter, and--

And people are angry, again. Angry at the slim pickings from the hidden special menu. So, so tired and angry, at once again having to steal.

And they're right to be! Sometimes (often, maybe) I think they're angry at the wrong people--more angry with the shopkeeper who offers the bite-sized sampler platter of side characters or sneaks their queer content in on the special menu than the ones who don't include it at all. But it's not wrong to be mad that Disney's once again advertising their First Gay Character only to find out it's a tiny sprinkle of a one-line extra on an otherwise straight sundae. It's not wrong to be furious at the world because you've spent your whole life needing to be a thief to survive. It's far from wrong. I'm angry about it too.

But this was my den of thieves, my chop shop, my makerspace. Growing up in fandom, I learned to pick the locks on stories and crack the safes of subtext at the very same time I learned to create. They were the same thing, the same art. We are thieves, my heart says, we are thieves, and that's what makes us better than the people we steal from. We deconstruct every time we create. We build better things out of the pieces.

And people are angry that the pre-fab materials are too hard to find, the pickings too slim, the items on sale too limited? Yes, of course they are, of course they should be--but my heart. Oh, my heart. Every single time, just a little bit, it breaks.

Of course the stories are terrible (they have always been terrible). Of course they are, but we are thieves. We steal the best parts and cobble them back together and what we make is better than it was before. The craftsman's eye that cases a story for weak points, for blank spaces, for anywhere we can fit a crowbar and pry apart this casing--that's skill and art and joy. Of course we shouldn't have to, of course we shouldn't have to, but I still love it. I still want it, crave it. I still thrill every time I see it, a story with hairline cracks that we can work open with clever hands to let the queer in.

That used to be cause for celebration, around here. I ask him to go back to the ruins of Aeor with me, two men together alone on an expedition in the frozen north, it feels like a gift. And I understand why some people take it as an insult. I understand not good enough. I understand how something can feel like a few drops of water to someone dying of thirst, like a slap in the face. If it was so easy to sneak it hidden onto the special menu, to place it on the unguarded side table for someone else to run off to, why not let it sit out front and center in the first place? I know it's frustrating. It should be. We should fight. We should always fight. I know why.

But my heart, oh, my heart. My heart only knows what it's been taught. My heart sees, this thing right here, the proprietor left it there for you with a nod and a wink because they Get It. It's not put together yet, but it's better that way anyway. It's so full of pieces to pull apart and reassemble. I bet they've got a whole mosaic wall going up at home already. We can bring it home and make it OURS, more than it was ever theirs, forget half of what it came from and grow a new garden in what remains.

And I go home to find anger, and my heart breaks instead.