#having my insane era rn
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The best part about any fandom, especially if its old, is there is MMD videos.
#starscream#dancing#I cant sleep#this is my contribution to the world#why cant I sleep#once I learn blender its so over for you guys#I'd make shit like this all the time if my brain worked#transformers#gif#starscream dancing#starscream gif#fandom#mmd#transformers mmd#I have three pills left in my meds#why do I always vent here#okay also if I could SLEEP it'd be over for you guys#but I cant sleep#I have adhd#I've been unmedicated most of my life#having my insane era rn#feel like willy wonka
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Sooo NONE of you want to fall deeply unhealthily in love with me rn……?
#:(#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#sorry i watched too much Media™️ again#the insanely (literally) in love trope got to me#you could just like become a little deranged about me#as a treat#no yeah you’re right realistically that would suck#i GUESS we’ll have to settle for you falling healthily and normally in love with me rn#👀#im gay and i like sleeping#scheduling my 2am feeling insane posts for my feeling chill era time of the day#nothing could go wrong
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28 October / I think it’s gonna be okay guys !
#IM GONNA REGRET POSTING MY INSANELY SLEEP DEPRIVED MUG#but this way y’all can experience the glow up with me over the next 4 months#plus only like 7 of y’all will see this atp anywayaasss so im still faceless on my Main heheheeeee#Btw my hair is naturally curly and I swear the shitty fringe I cut the other day looks better on my curly hair LMAO#but I randomly straightened it today#also usually have a septum piercing but I’m going through a phase where I want it gone LolLl it’ll b back likely#it’s literally still in my nose rn just hiding#proof I went outside !!#october#24 DAYS LEFT BEING 24 TOMORROW HELP#idk y I thought posting face reveal gonna make y’all hate me but oh well#probs bc I been in my flop era too long and im projectingg#also period rn makin me feel so gross but idgaf imma try get back into life#ahahahahahaahaha y m I posting my crusty ass rn idk im silly#also the more I look at these pics the more I hated myself so I’m never gonna look again LOLol#someone make me quit yappin arghhhkfbthtn#ily#hope ur day is slaying#YAKULTII
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My ring’s verified she’s telling the truth.
Alan Scott in Justice Society of America (2022) #3
#THE OFFICIAL DEBUT OF THE BEARD#alan scott#green lantern#jsa#justice society of america#justice society#jsa 2022#justice society of america 2022#dc#dc comics#dcedit#comicedit#comicsedit#lgbtincomics#u can reblog#IM GOING SO OUT OF MY MIND INSANE RN I CANT EVEN TELL U I CANT EVEN PUT IT INTO WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#GOD!!!!!!#BEAR ERA ALAN REAL AT LONG LAST IM WALKING INTO TRAFFIC#LIKE THE FELLA SAID. ANYONE WHO WISHES TO READ ANYTHING INTO ALAN HAVING A BEARD THESE DAYS IS OFC FREE TO DO SO#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#UNBELIEVABLE VICTORY FOR GAY PEOPLE WORLDWIDE
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HI I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE INTO ADAMANDI HOLY SHIT. Can’t believe so few people know about this masterpiece of a musical
:OOOOO hai i agree it is criminally (haha yknow bc there are crimes..) underrated!! and really brilliant!!! discovered it literally midway through the week and akdfjgsjhdsjhjgdf
have a doodle of the saints :3
#this is kinda because on someone's insta i saw one of the saints doing a peace sign dksajh have smth silly#adamandi#ask me stuff???#realising i have to put my tags at the beginning before rambles or tumblr won't catch it#i am into adamandi. now. this is terrible timing because exam season but hMM the academic grindset really resonates now huh#the moment i caught myself in the ao3 tag i was like ''oh.''#i have so many thoughts. so many many thoughts. im so insane about this musical actually. also the fandom so far seems so nice#also yeah! the number of people who know about it is quite small huh.. it makes me kinda feel like im infiltrating the group... ?#late to the party as ever. but it's. so so good. such a musical ever the brainrot is real#also the way the creators themselves are active on tumblr :OO rly cool. ngl the tags they left under my posts had me#giggling screaming kicking my feet etcetera... and bc apparently i thrive off positive reinforcement that sparked the whole cut fruit art..#i am itching to know about the track thing with portia. also portrix real the lesbians keep winning!! also also i may have spent half a day#internet stalking ><. secret pinterest boards where :O#anyway thank you for the ask anon idk how to answer concisely but yes. adamandi. oh my god.#miscellany: can we appreciate ambrose's high notes.. also i was on wiki reading about ''apollonian vs dionysian'' it's insane#on yet another note. im entering my lin era rn i think. what a time. where can i run so true + vincent's surname my beloved. forest imagery#side note? tiny little detail i'd love to do smth about in the future: in word to the wise there's smth about “appraising your rings” and i#the one who pulls the strings beatrix mentions “bought my classmates rings” like. kjdfhsgjkhd???? thinks.#.. but new fav musical unlocked is all#between this and watt i am maybe into my murder musical era. confession that i don't do horror much because i have an overactive imaginatio#but like those two hit the spot. and i think organic imagery.. blood visuals.. is very cool// and the moment you start looking at literal#life and death situations then the dramaticness especially comes in and that's fun!! // also i read smth today about tragedy making you#appreciate irl stuff more. like ''wow thats messed up im sure glad that isnt me i love life''. and lowkey?? yeah
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Every fucking time I think my stupid ass hyper fixation for SPECIFICALLY getter robo Armageddon is gone it reignited at 2 fucking am when I’m supposed to be asleep and I dm my moot who has a different timezone then me about it cause he started watching and I’m telling him all the stupid shit I know and ohhhhh my god it never fucking ENDS
#meg text#this is not me even being mad at myself it’s just arma so fucking insane it really DID alt my brain chemistry#like are their shows more fucking weird and incomprehensible? Absolutely. But does it change arma being an experience? NOPE#we are legit in a era where everyone is sick of this show and i understand and yes new deserves more#HOWEVER yeah no the more i remember this show i get why its more fucking appealing to people#I said it shouldn’t be the only getter thing people consume but also not everyone going to want to get deep into it anyways#and if your gonna go with one might as well go with the one that doesn’t make any fucking sense#yet still is weirdly compelling for the fact it’s held together by fucking sticks and glue#oh and a lot of hot blooded passion#I’d say this is me coping that arma writing is poor but it’s honestly not the worst even if it’s not ideal#they did a lot of genius stuff just- yknow- swapping directors moment#but also something being a bit of a mess adds to the experience#I now wanna rewatch this too when I said I’d rewatch sins and I have two things im rewatching rn fuuuuck
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eorst news ever my gf hates me.
#she thought leo valdez was actually dead ..#our pjo era did NOT survive that long for u 2 think that ml........👎👎👎#post#its ok i forgive her#maes tag#sorry guys i got obsessed w her rn .i need more friends but its ok shes the light of my life and my savior#me when i want to die again so i use my gf as a survival source hashtag healthy attachment#its ok i have haley ayaka minori nene hazel too ..and i guess kazuha and akito i hate fictional boys#im so insane for them sorry not soeey theyre all so#except akito i despise him (lyin(g i need aki5#on en#i catn read jp
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The Me who bought tickets to see TMBG in february 2023 and the Me who's going to actually go to the show next month are two completely different people
#slash extremely negative#it's funny to actually live this whole sort of cliche of: the time between buying tickets and going to the show can be so absurdly long#with what was supposed to be my 1st 'real' concert no less#'i bought the tickets as a teenager but i'm going to see them in my 20s etc' and stuff like that#and then when it gets rescheduled too... well. a year and 9 months is in fact a pretty long time!!!#and i'm not even talking about rescheduling due to covid because god at least i didn't have to deal with that i guess#(it IS funny though that by the time the 30th anniversary of flood tour ends#flood will be 2 months away from turning 35. so yeah lmao a lot happened in the meantime huh)#anyways day two of going crazy going insane for no reason other than well i guess that's just my life now!!!!! 😃😃😃#me when i say i'll stop documenting my rapidly progressing mental breakdown online and then keep doing it anyway#but idk maybe this will heal me in some way. my only hope rn no joke#and my mom actually seemed to be unsure if i we should book the hotels and stuff because. ig i'm this obviously unwell even over the phone#but BY GOD this is the only thing i can really look forward to right now i really need this to survive#(trying to forget how i was doing in september of last year when they rescheduled the tour#and i couldn't even be sure if i'd ever get to see them in the end lollllll#and at the heights of my tmbg obsession this was my number 1 dream. i mean it still is)#also i think i'm finally entering my tmbg autumn era now with some more frequent listening after not doing so for a while#how could i let myself pretty much forget that i love tmbg??? and that their music is so good and makes me happy???#they're still my fav band of all time just like they were back then. THAT didn't change at least#it's just that now they share that spot with sparks also lol. can't choose between them and why should i anyway#what else. ig i just hope i get the energy to finally draw tomorrow at least#because if i don't turn the ideas i have into reality then they will never become real! and that would be so sad#so maybe this can be my main reason to continue for now. whatever#goosepost
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finding a new hyperfixation is so hard I just wanna hyperfixate on doctor who for the first time again
#see dw is the perfect balance of sad and silly. fluff and angst#just enough heartbreak to make u insane about it but not enough to make you severely depressed#the thing is like. there are several shows I could be watching rn. but. I cant. bc I’m sad already. AND THEYRE ALL SAD#I am TOO fucking sensitive after the hellscape that was the ofmd fandom#I cannot be watching shit like twd or Interview with a vampire or fucking black sails rn#my heart cannot take that fr. I need doccy who again. I need my ninerose era back. I need to heal#pls. please god#if anyone has any not-totally-devastating shows they think I would enjoy PLS drop a recommendation#they can definitely have a crumb of devastation but not too much. bc I’m a lil baby.
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#talkys#sorry misc rambling before i pass out im all sorts of feelings rn#im in an I Wanna Be Vocal And Annoying And ''Who Want Me'' Even Though I Know Thats Not How It Works era#as well as im so exhausted i dont want to have another person yet. era. but i do but i dont but i DO deserve it actually but im tired#also i. ive made so many realizations this past week and had questions answered and everything recontextualized. as well.#2023 has been so insane and april isnt even over#its been exhaustjng and tiring. and i already prefer it over 2022. smile#i cant wait for it to get boring again. im so tired ! but also i hope things get better soon#and also also im happy to have made 2 new buddys already. which is helping#if all of What Happened‚ happened solely as a means to get these new ppl into my life then okey ^_^ i will#take the positives and move on...!#im still processing stuff. i cant wait to get back to normal ➡️ hope and yearn and hope and yearn#im gonna go keep enjoying my special weekend out of town neow
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delighted that i'm so much more fond of chuuya at this point than i was just a couple years ago. it took the stormbringer play, the cannibalism play, and the fifteen manga (still haven't gotten to those two novels in their entirety, I Will Soon I Promise), it took 6ish+ years, but i can confidently say I Get It Now. Now i just need asagiri to break him (affectionate) in the manga and actually give him a character arc already <333
#i went through my own character arc okay i have Learned#still don't really get it from the pre-light novels era but i definitely get it now#he's actually written so well in those lns it's astounding. now fr if only that could be transferred to the actual manga *sigh*#if you can't tell i'm still so pissed and betrayed by the meursault arc. on all fronts lol but chuuya was one of the worst victims ughhhh#i may be hyped about this fyodor shit rn but do not mistake that as me forgetting how angry i still am over all that anticlimactic bullshit#happy birthday chuuya you really deserve so much better </3#been thinking so much lately about what asagiri is planning for him. or if he's planning anything at all. the signs are so contradictory!!!#i know the fandom made him a huge thing from the early anime days when he probably wasn't meant to be more than an extreme side character#why? again i still don't understand (shipping. it's shipping okay; that's why i was always unfairly biased against him lmao)#but even if that's the case then he wrote the light novels that are SO GOOD so like!!!!#now there's buildup!!!! now there's expectations for him!!!!!!#you can't just never have verlaine and adam not come back in the story again at some point#in the same way that ango did from a light novel#and how oda HAS to be addressed by the end of the story#and all the lore bs in 55 minutes#just WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING WITH CHUUYA ASAGIRI. I NEED TO KNOWWWWWW#THE SIGNS ARE VERY WORRYING BUT IN A COMPELLING WAY AND I NEED THEM TO PAY OFF SO BADLY#me going literally insane lately over a character i still claim to not be one of my favorites. lmao
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Having a moment™ right now(looking at 2011 sebson pics)
#i cannot stop squealing 😖#i think this is gonna be what pushes me to actually change my layout#i was eventually gonna change it and keep it sebmark but ah i am truly having a moment rn#reading solar flare changed me as a person shfkkfkg#BUT SERIOUSLY THEYRE INSANE#like the way they look at each other like theres no one else in the room????#theres so many post quali pics where theyre just completely ignoring the other person and staring at each other#no bcs theres several with Lewis where hes literally standing a fooy away from them whereas theyre huddled together 😭😭#also yeah def pushing me to just watch the whole rest of the v8 era in succession instead of skipping around#my gifposts are gonna be so insane 😭😭😭#im looking at some of the videos of the parc fermes cause i cant help myself#and i cant even help but clip them now#spoiling myself ugh but i cant help it#catie.rambling.txt
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missing my sonic and shadow plushies hours :(
#theyre all alone in my empty dorm..... in the cold.....#i need to have them with me NOW so i can smush their heads together and giggle about it#going insane thinking about them rn THEY ARE SO SILLY!!!!!!!!#my sonadow experience has gotten 5x better since this new era where i think of them both as arospec#and also dont woobify them that helps too#they are so silly because they ARGUE AND FIGHT EACH OTHER. not being cutesy with each other#i get my joy from them beating each other's asses#serena.txt
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a word to the wise sometimes the only true rest is looking beyond what you thought was success
so true! adamandi is full of wise advice such as this, including: "and you'll never feel better if you - fucking die- you stupid ass!"
#these are all very good reminders. especially during exam season (i am suffering. but at least i'm working on art coursework so it's#suffering i love.) guys i have maybe a bit too many thoughts on ambrose. sculpture. and ceramics. and studio. in my art student 3d era rn#tmr it's black and white 2d so it's vincent vibes instead... anyways. in my breaks i ended up brainstorming more doodles again so..#anywaysndhfnfjfhf sorry to detract! but like these two quotes are holding my sanity intact i think.#at this point even without listening to the live soundtrack it sounds in my head so. lasting impressions i guess. every time i get anxious#' you'll never get better if you fucking die'' sounds in my head and i go ''ah yes there's a whole life outside''#continuing this ramble you ever think how vincent went from you'll never get better if you fucking die to '' first i chose my friend#ambrose for my debut :DD'' realll quick. or also how this principle worked for when he was talking to ambrose about it and then. for himself#he didn't want to get better. he wanted quincy to get better and so '' you'll never get better if you die'' held through to the end#it just wasn't a mentality that saved him... god that screws me up. so many thoughts.#anyways anon!!!! thank you for sending this :3 made my day <33 very vibes#going to put the soundtrack on and power through studio again.. :3 adamandi asks are welcomed ngl teehee#ask me stuff???#on another note sometimes it's so surreal that actors are real people... i guess the magic of theatre is that it makes the characters come#to life.. like i believe actors are real. and deserve to be treated like people. for the record. but also when consuming media and it's the#suspension of disbelief? these are Real Characters i can't believe that someone who isn't them is making these sounds and doing these things#it's so insane. incredible. idk i just have very high admiration for the cast and idk how i got here even... akshdjdhdf#<blinks> they did such a good job akdhdnfhfbgfhff ok bye#first time i swear in the actual post on this blog and not in the tags... of course
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#guys. guys what if i wrote a genos character study. I could make it so fucking devastating#I JUST THINK#after his family got killed he became the very thing he hates most in the world 🤪#he rushes headfirst into any battle no matter who the opponent#because what if instead of getting revenge for his dead family he just wants to be with them 😂😂😂#he's always judged and called a ''robot'' as if he doesnt have feelings but he does 👍 he has so many 👍👍👍👍👍#and he couldn't cry to express his emotions even if he wanted to 😆💯#what if he believes he could never be more than the sum of his parts 😁‼️#wouldnt that be funny!!!!!!#oooouuuguhghghghg i am so insane over him rn. in my opm era ive just been completely silent about it#he's my son my child my boy. my precious angel. my silly rabbit#please
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this new sufjan album is going to fully rearrange my brain chemistry I can already feel it
#noticed the new single this morning but saved it for later cuz i didnt want to risk the psychic damage of listening to a track called-#'will anybody ever love me' right before a job interview 💀#but damn its good. going to the local early listening party next week hehe#also just discovered film school everyone say thank u last.fm for actually generating good music recs 😳😳😳😳#the recs i get suggested based off my listening to so much bdrmm are always >>>>>>>#bdrmm were INSANELY good live. genuinely think a lot of ppl who act disdainful of shoegaze would change their minds if they went to a gig#the richness and texture of the sound cant be summed up in an audio recording u have to be there and feel ur whole body thrum with it#its like floating in a wall of sound.. but the spotify versions sound soooo tame. not that i dont like them but its not the same#god im so fucking excited for slowdive. only a month and a half to go!!!!!!#listened to the new mitski album as well but honestly its not doing much for me rn#but usually when she releases new stuff it takes a little while to grow on me. i need to at least read the lyrics first..#I think esp w folk inspired artists u have to let the song approach u at the right time. ive def had eras when diff mitski albums appealed#but in my heart im a retired from sad girlie. actually at the risk of sounding like a fake fan ive never been able to get into puberty 2#or be the cowboy. i like a couple tracks but thematically theyve never spoken to me#makeout creek/laurel hell are in the middle theres a couple on them that have me by the throat. lush is my 2nd fave i think#but yeah i dont think ill ever be able to extricate myself emotionally from retired from sad that was my first breakup album!!!!#.diaries#anyway back 2 translation state..
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