#having like a Bad Time irl bc I can't get a job and have no income among other things

[roadkill-punk]

Hi gang sorry I like burnt out and exploded here's a wip + Gabriel face headcanon. Righteous hands of the father or whatever.

Don't look too hard at the hand anatomy it'll get fixed like. Eventually.

[mysunshine-youremoonlight]

.

[iz-star]

Lately I've seen ppl saying that Zayne is for the eldest children, the parentified siblings, the kids who grew up knowing that their role wasn't about being kids but about taking care of the younger siblings and then became quite individualistic ppl who is used to do things on their own, to attend their needs on their own and not to expect anyone to bring them any kind of care.

As a parentified child, I can't bring myself to express how much I agree with this. I'm not exactly the eldest child, I'm the middle one, however, I'm the only girl, my older brother moved in with my father when we were young while I stayed with my mom, so the role to take care of my lil brother passed onto me while my brother, being the only child in my dad's home, grew up being spoiled and my lil brother, being the baby in my mom's house, grew up being spoiled. Needless to say again that, I'm the only girl and just bc of that I was the one who was always expected to learn how to take care of others, to learn how to cook, keep the house clean, learn what to do when my brothers were sick, and always was the one ppl acussed my lil brother with when he misbehaved.

If you notice, Zayne quite literally does all of that for you. In his most recent call he was offering MC to clean her house while she sleeps, since he likes to keep things tidied up and loves to help her and take care of her any chance he has (he knew she was tired from work). He also likes to cook for her, literally told her to look for some videogames to play together while he cooked dinner in his Doomsday card (and this is just one example), and of course he'd know what to do with you if you ever get sick, he's a Doctor! He's literally the only one out of the four guys who did his research about periods when he discovers how bad your cramps get, needless to say again that he is a Doctor (not to diminish the effort of the other guys cause they all were really lovely and they also did a quick research to try to help but let's accept that Zayne's career gives him advantage)

This made me come to the realization that Zayne not only is a caregiver but he (oh so perfectly) takes on the role that has always been forcefully given to women and he's not any less man for that, I'd say it's totally the opposite, it makes him look even more manly bc you know he can take care of himself just as well as any fuctional adult, while irl we women expect men to be kinda useless at housework bc they're not socialized into those roles.

(NOT saying that all men are useless at doing house chores like cooking or cleaning but stating that women have to expect that any man you meet might be)

Of course all of the guys are perfect functional adults who can take care of themselves and take care of you, whatever you need they would bring it to you or do it for you and if they don't know how to do it, they'd figure it out, they all only crave to have a soft, lovely domestic life with you and take care of you (Zayne's Doomsday card, Xavier's 21 days card, Sylus myth, etc)

However, we can't deny that the role of caregiver has always resonated more with Zayne and that is bc... he was also a mature child.

He wasn't exactly a parentified sibling, but for eldest parentified kids, to act more mature than they're expected to be comes with the role. Zayne was a quiet child and his parents were Doctors, if he's already quite busy with the job you can imagine how much time his parents dedicated to him, he probably learned to be self-sufficient at a pretty young age bc his parents were busy, he also understood how important was their job and has stated how inspiring it was to him, which probably gave him this need to learn how to take care of others and himself, before allowing adults to take care of him. The narrative might be a bit different but the main point still stands, he grew up thinking that he needed to take care of others and handle himself -his physical and emotional needs- on his own. He's also a quite individualistc person and as any mature kid, didn't have a healthy development and growth, jumping to adulthood too quickly that his childhood is missed and with it, his social skills are cut off in half.

That's the initial phase of his character development: when he starts to get into what he's missed. Ever since I started to play the game, Zayne never gave me the vibes of a cold or emotionally constipated man, totally the opposite, when I picked up on his demeanor, he gave me this feeling that he was one of those characters that feels too much and too deeply, they just don't show it, why? Because they are not used to show their emotions and have never done it, literally don't know how to loosen up or don't even know that they have to do it.

Remember that anecdote where he tried to joke with his interns while in the middle of a surgery and they all got scared of him, misunderstanding his joke for a reprimand. No wonder why Zayne got along better with the old man who didn't want to take his meds. When I started to interact with him, he didn't come across as cold to me at all, stoic is a good way to describe his personality but not to describe the issue. Zayne's behaviour was never cold, he was stiff.

You can tell that at first there were a lot of misunderstandings between him and MC and the way he shows how much he cares that she missed. Parentified children know that the best way of showing affection is through actions. We are forced to mature too quick that we end up missing the phase where we develop our social skills, that's why for us actions are better than words. That's also why Zayne admits that he was never good at words.

(Of course I also have the headcanon that he's autistic, but that's a topic for another day).

Entering in a romantic relationship, even tho actions are always a good way to show affection, communication is key if you want for it to work and that's a development we can see with Zayne and MC through his cards. Like, in the case of the ENG va, I've seen a lot of ppl saying that Zayne's voice in his early cards sounds too robotic and while I agree that it can be bc the VA was starting to get into the role, it could also be bc the more he learns to communicate, the less stiff and robotic he sounds. Not only the tone of his voice or locution but also the words he uses to express himself and his feelings. Before, whenever he wanted to state if he missed MC or how important she was for him, he would talk of her in third person (he still does it sometimes bc he seems to love role play lol) but for important things, he's learned to be more straightforward ("You occupied my every thought" "I need you, I have never denied that" "You're not allowed to go without saying goodbye" "There's a lot of things I want to give you but I only have a piece of jade" "We should watch the moon together, my love"). At learning to show his feelings not only by actions but verbally as well, he allowed himself to go back to that phase where the development of his social skills stayed in pause. That's why the more he's developed this side of him, he's also allowed himself to become childish from time to time, bc a childhood where we are allowed to be kids is important in order for us to grow into ourselves. Zayne, alongside smart kids, mature kids, eldest parentified children missed part of this phase and of course it does have consecuences in our adulthood.

That is why, in part, for me Zayne feels so healing. He would take care of you, of course he would without you having to ask it of him but he also wants to be taken care of, even if he won't admit it openly. You can tell how guilty he felt when he told MC that she went through a lot of planning in order to prepare his birthday party while he didn't do anything and how she picked on it to the point to have to clarify that he should let ppl to take care of him too and after hearing that, the first thing he did was to ask her to feed him cake. In the Misty Invasion event, when he and MC are in the escape room and he keeps on falling bc of his shoes, he allows himself to get a bit playful and asks MC "you'll help me, right?" while tugging her sleve trying to act cute. In his Doomsday card, he did a biiit of a tantrum when MC didn't allow him to get his biscuits (and he got them anyway ahaha). He's starting to showcase all those childish traits he didn't allow himself to show when he was a kid because his relationship with MC has turned into a safe place to do so and of course he wants her to do it too. That's why in his last 4 stars card "Dream revisited" he talks about the importance of indulging in our childish side and how part of it is to be honest with your feelings without worrying about what others might tell.

To see him loosen up heals that part of me that was still recovering of the things I had to put up in my childhood. My personality is definitely not like Zayne's, like at all, but to see his writing is something I can relate to and how his development is about healing this neglected part of him feels so therapeutic. To think that he'd be the kind of man who understands how much you need to be taken care of and would do it for you happily while you are on the same side of the coin and would happily take care of him too but not this time bc it's what it's expected of you or bc he's useless at certain things, but because he needs it too but won't ask for it even tho he's earned it too, because you understand part of the loneliness that comes with being a caregiver but never the one who is in the reciving end. Zayne knows of your capabilities and knows that you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself but he also knows the comforting and healing feeling that comes with someone who tells you "I know you can do it but let me do it for you". Because he has always been perfectly capable of taking care of himself but who has told him the same words? Who has offered to take care of him? To accept someone taking care of you is to accept to be loved. To understand that to love is to take care of your loved person is to understand one of the many missions of what to love is. And believe me, he's pretty smart that I'm sure he's already picked on that.

To create a safe space to not to be perfect is what a relationship is about. That's why he indulges MC a lot, let's her sleep while he's willing to stay up late to buy tickets for their new travel, he would indulge into waking up late with her just to cuddle and take things slowly. To be childish because when we are children is when we are at our most vulnerable and we must be taken care of, to be an adult is not to get rid off of this need but to understand how important it still is.

Gods, I love Zayne so much.

[verstappentime]

i posted about this before, but let me (as a journalist irl) elaborate what's likely going on with daniel!!

when no one asked dan about his future during press day last week, we all automatically recognized this was probably the result of an embargo (we have quite a few f1 fans in the newsroom). stranger still that christian horner was in the TP conference and didn't speak on it either. we had expected that combo to make a sort of joint announcement.

so what's an embargo/how does it work?

essentially, it's when a source gives you any information ahead of time, but requests you do not publish anything on it until a certain date and time. this can be done for a lot of reasons. embargoes usually request that you refrain from sharing information from a press release or document.

usually embargoes are put in place so essentially you keep to your time table of when the information becomes "public," but news outlets aren't left scrambling because they have already written their story and have it ready to go live as soon as it's acceptable. in the case of f1 this also applies to instagram posts and things like that. that's why you'll often see the posts go live straight away when an announcement is made; everything's pre-confirmed & pre-written, they're just waiting for the green light.

if you violate an embargo in sports journalism, you'll likely have your credentials to, say, get into the press pen revoked. you/your outlet will no longer receive any privileged information. and you'll likely be asked to take it down. not for any legal reason -- you're just burning a bridge and violating trust. so this info COULD be leaked, but under the honor system, it rarely is. (especially bc if you post embargoed info & ruin your org's reputation with the source, you're probably losing your job.)

so what's going on in DR's case?

most likely, all credible sources have either A) been given the information under an embargo, or B) been told the time they can expect an embargoed press release. (i work with law enforcement, so for me this is usually just something like "you can expect the records to be sent out before dinner time friday night but it will be embargoed till 9 a.m. when they're officially public record.")

either way, everyone has probably been warned off asking those questions, but they also likely already know the answer. whatever they received, even if it doesn't reveal all the cards, most likely said daniel would not answer questions prior to the official release time and essentially, don't bother.

what's up with all the rumors?

essentially, when every credible source has their hands tied, there's no one to counter all the randoms. we see it all the time -- people yapping trading theories when we actually know what happened and can't say. unfortunately in f1 some of the randoms have some sort of name recognition -- and for some reason there are like 500 completely not credible news outlets full of untrue shit. so right now, they are the only people 1) free to bang on with theories and 2) who dont either have the info or know when the info is coming available. so that's allowing them to take up all the space.

conclusion: this isn't necessarily good or bad, but explains why we're hearing so many irrelevant people's opinions on this and not hearing anything from VCARB, daniel or his team. it was most likely done to give preferred sources the jump on announcing the news, but also to allow daniel to focus.

i'm assuming the embargo will be lifted monday morning european time, but we may hear a vague denial this weekend as theres probably some building frustration (like daniel saying yeah you'll see me in COTA or whatever).

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

im a trans boy who has grown up with very oppressive religious parents so ive never gotten the chance to experiment sexually or romantically with peers irl, im about to move to the city for college in the fall

(i will be living on campus with two roommates who i haven't met yet and i know basically nothing about, one of them i will be sharing a bunk bed with)

im really nervous about how im gonna do socially.. ive had a really hard time making and maintaining irl friends for like my entire life, which has been really upsetting for me obviously.

being able to experiment sexually is something im really wanting to do and im really really nervous about it, i know that the most straightforward advice is just "talk about it to people you wanna do sex stuff with" but like everything is new to me i havent had the chance to really socialize irl up until this point and now im being shoved into a group of other young adults who all have the prior experience of being well socialized and having complex interpersonal relationships with peers

i also feel extremely insecure about my lack of experience, like is it actually normal for someone my age to have never had a romantic or sexual encounter? are the things ive discovered and assumptions ive made about myself sexually through masturbating wrong?? i can't watch porn bc looking at strangers having sex grosses me out!! im pretty sure my front hole is like unnaturally tight?? anything wider than two of my fingers is uncomfortable and no matter how much prep and easing myself into it i do, it stays that way.. and i think my cervix is also lower than most, about 3-4 inches is the maximum that i can insert before i can feel it bump my cervix (which hurts REALLY BAD)

im just so nervous and scared about my own body and personality and all that andi don't know where to look for resources or reassurance. ive never been to the doctor for any kind of reproductive care and im really scared to!!! i live in a state that has completely outlawed abortion rights and im really scared that if i go to planned parenthood or something to get like a checkup that they will be mean and not gentle with me

i don't know, i guess im just looking to be heard and hopefully pointed towards some resources if anyone has any, thank you for the work you do and thank you for taking the time to read my panicked ramblings

hi anon,

there's a lot happening here so I'm just doing a numbered list

1.) man, how did the third guy luck out and avoid the bunk bed? you don't have to answer that, I'm just curious how you guys have already worked out that two of you are stuck with the bunk beds. unless you're into bunk beds (I was), in which case mazel tov.

2.) in the nicest way possible, I think you may be vastly overestimating how "well socialized" other students are going to be. reading between the lines a bit, it sounds like you were maybe home schooled, or at least don't have very much experience mingling with other people your age without adult supervision. I guarantee you every public school in the world is also full of introverted freak losers who rock up to college with no idea of what they're doing; I was one of them. the majority of first year college students are also running around panicking and trying to figure out how to be away from their parents for the first time; everyone is a loser and no one is cool.

would it comfort you at all to know that my day job is organizing events at my office's LGBT student resource center? I spend a lot of time hanging out with queer first year students, and I love them dearly, and they're all cringefail losers. it's unavoidable. every 18 year old is a cringefail loser. every single person on Earth looks back at their 18 year old self and goes "goddamn, what a cringefail loser." and it's fine! it's so normal! that's the entire point of your first year of college! you try things and you're socially awkward and you meet some of the most important people you will ever meet and you meet people whose opinions about you won't matter literally at all and you'll completely change how you think about everything for the rest of your life and you'll think you're going to die and everything will be fine!!!!

anyway moving on

3.) it's normal for anyone at any age to have never had a romantic or sexual encounter. I'm assuming you value my insight at least a little, since you sent this, so would it help you to know that I arrived at college as virginal as could be (wildly insecure about it, btw) and didn't have sex for the first time until I was almost 21? would it comfort you to hear from my housemate, also transmasculine, who gave me permission to share that they've never had sex and that none of their life problems really have anything to do with being a virgin?

4.) "are the things ive discovered and assumptions ive made about myself sexually through masturbating wrong??" hard to say, since I don't know what those things are, but probably not. it's extremely hard to get masturbating wrong, no one knows what feels good to you better than you. you're sort of an authority here. masturbating isn't exactly like partnered sex, of course, but it's a really good place to start learning about things that you like and make you feel good.

5.) everything you're describing about your front hole sounds very typical. two fingers is the max number of comfortable fingers for a lot of people, regardless of experience; often, taking something larger doesn't become easier until after having penetrative sex with a partner. average vaginal depth is about 3.6 inches, and while that can increase significantly with arousal, it's something that doesn't generally happen if you're not relaxed during sex. if I can be a bit presumptuous, it sounds like sex and masturbation are maybe a bit anxiety-inducing for you, in a way that is pretty much perfectly contradictory to comfortable penetration. if I can offer you some advice I wish I could give my younger self: calm the fuck down, buy some lube, stop worrying so much about making your body react the way you think it should and learn to appreciate what it's actually doing, and maybe see if your campus has some free therapy options available. anxiety meds probably wouldn't hurt this situation. also stop hitting your cervix if that hurts oh my god.

6.) Planned Parenthood is generally one of the best places to go if you're nervous; they're aggressively queer friendly and tend to be extremely accommodating of patients' needs. I personally do not care for penetration at all and have a difficult time with Pap smears, and every examiner I've ever had at PP has been an angel about letting me take breaks and swear my way through it. it ain't fun, but if you want to have an adventurous sex life you need to take care of the health of yourself and your prospective partners by getting STI tests and Pap smears.

you're so normal, calm down, I love you

[hollowed-theory-hall]

i don't remember in which book, but there is an episode where Narcissa takes Draco away from a clothing store (Madame Malkin, I think) because they cater to muggleborns. i understand it was a political statement...

but with that in mind, question is: how far is pureblood bigotry actually goes?

are there shops exclusively for purebloods and we just don't know about them bc harry didn't go there, or were they decades ago... do purebloods buy products invented by blood traitors like the Potters and Weasleys? after all, they are good quality, but it is not good to give money to dirt yk. at the same time, most shops probably fall away from public bigotry bc even if they are run by purebloods who believe in pureblood supremacy, they will still serve everyone, because money in the first place.

this is an interesting topic for research, in my opinion, and very comparable to reality

Like, my immediate answer was: Very far.

I mean, once the most blood purists of their society gain control of the ministry they are literally rounding up muggleborns to be sent to Azkaban.

That being said, casual blood purity, like you mention, seems to not go as deep as Narcissa would like you to believe. Like, we see Draco using Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder in book 6, which was invented and only sold by Fred and George. I think, like with a lot of irl bigotry, it's a lot of performance.

Like, blood purists would talk a lot about not buying from filth and mudbloods, but if a blood traitor has a good idea or a good product — they don't put their money where their mouth is. They'd buy from blood traitors and muggleborns if it's the better product. They do copy ideas from the muggles. Like, I'm sure blood purists who have access to the Floo ridicule the concept of the Hogwarts Express and the Knight Bus, thinking of them as filthy muggle inventions; but I'm certain they were all too glad to bring indoor plumbing into Hogwarts and their mansions because it's an invention they liked.

We also see a dark pureblood store like Borgins & Burkes hire filthy, poor, orphan Tom Riddle. He was good at his job, he probably wasn't paid a lot, and so it didn't matter his blood purist employers/customers thought he was a mudblood and filth if he was good at what he did. They'd hire, buy and sell to muggleborns and blood traitors if there is money on the line.

We see this attitude with Slughorn as well. He's surprised by Hermione and Lily being muggleborns and exceptional witches and potion makers because he doesn't expect it (the bigotry of low expectations, which we also see irl). But, he does invite them into the Slug Club and he expects them to then be able to get into positions they usually can't because he basically vetted them as 'talented filth'. They're okay and good to hire by purebloods because they're good at what they do. Now, I don't think Slughorn is a bad person, and he's actually doing a very useful service for talented muggleborns in the bigoted society they live in by opening doors for them, but I digress.

I think it's telling that an ancestral house of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, the "always pure", is a muggle house. Grimmauld Place is a house built by muggles, for muggles, that the Blacks decided to have as their own. They have muggle plumbing, muggle baths, muggle toilets, and muggle wallpaper, and they like it. but if you asked them, they'd call their house a "wizarding home", even if every brick was put in its place by muggles without a drop of magic.

We are told by Pottermore a good chunk of the Malfoys' inherited wealth is muggle. Their manor is also, most likely, muggle-built. They live their pureblood lifestyle, thinking themselves oh so much better than blood traitors when the food on their table was put there by muggle money. That the reason they can act the way they do, that they have more money than the Weasleys — is because their ancestors made business deals with muggles. And they know it but choose to pretend to have forgotten.

The point is, yes, blood purists would talk all day about how they want no filth in their house and how everything muggle is lesser, but when muggles/muggleborns/blood traitors have something good going, when they have a good product or are themselves talented, they'd be blind to their filthy blood for the sake of money/good idea. They'd tell themselves whatever lies they needed to tell themselves to believe they weren't blood traitors for installing a toilet. That they're not supporting muggle ideas by living off of muggle instructors.

They're bigoted hypocrites is what I'm saying.

[hatchetmanofficial]

ok. hear me out. alan's life is the funniest fucking thing, even if we're just looking at part of it - and today that part is probably how he got his job

since Alan likely hadn't known of supernatural shit before he decided to isolate in the woods, he was probably spooked a good few times or whatever

like, just imagine, this canadian dude is just sitting outside in the grass while looking at isopods and 'lil caterpillars, while also eating an ice cream sandwich, when, suddenly, standing right in front of him is carver's goofy-ah self being like "would you like a cup of tea and a glass of crackheadery, this fine evening, sir?" before punching him in the fucking face and dragging him out to hell

then, alan just has to have an existential crisis while trying to fight some british bitch with them 1-2-buckle-my-shoe sneakers who looks like the 17YO bad boy intern at the office in some who gets to fuck around and do whatever BC his dad's the CEO or whatever and BC it's a shitty YA book with no logic

and this is just how alan learns about the natural ecosystem of american fuckery before being handed a gun and told to go off someone or get ripped apart bone by bone BC, well, why not? and he just goes along with it, at first, out of pure fear; who wouldn't be scared of this kinda shit?

i mean, me, personally? if i saw the boss, i'd wanna tuck tail and head hell outta dodge; you don't fuck around in anywhere of america without losing a few fingers, or a whole limb; i'd sure as hell know from expirience (i'd put the shrugging emoji, but i can't even physically shrug anymore IRL, so, what's the point?)

TL;DR, alan's life sucks and i think about it...a lot...i guess

anyways, sorry if this makes no sense; i'm having citalopram withdrawals RN LOL

this is the funniest shit i've read

[thedarkmongoose]

SPOILERS: i have mixed feelings about the bear s3 but knowing that s3 & s4 were written/filmed at the same time makes sense. s4 will prob answer s3's q's. (A LOT was left open-ended) usually i love that, but it felt like the show lost itself in certain places, esp the self-indulgent finale. all stories are indulgent to some degree, but too much decadence rarely leaves room for substance.

and i get why they tried to do the chef's table thing, but other than andrea, syd, and luca, everyone else's acting was disjointed and trite. but i loved ep 1; it was an ethereal, artsy, meditative piece (peace) that was necessary after the chaotic s2 finale. however, as a big fan of the show, it was hard for me to finish the eps.

the standout in s3 FOR SURE was tina's ep - directed by ayo. glad we got her backstory. personally i liked her anxiety-inducing job hunt bc it's really like that irl, esp for older woc. the sobbing while eating a free sandwich was relatable, and the mikey convo was super impactful. but as much as i loved the ep, it still felt superficial compared to s2 'forks' (richie) or 'honeydew' (marcus). we never see her son again either; all we get is tina yelling at him to quiet down.

then there was marcus's mother's funeral which seemed like it was going to be more central to the plot than it was. i wish we got more. and claire is still one of the most underwritten characters EVER. nothing about her or the mis en scène really sells it that she's a doctor lol. and the scene with the faks trying to apologize on carmy's behalf was beyond cringe. i like matty matheson - i have his cookbook, but there was entirely too many faks in s3.

and let's be real: where was ebra & sweeps? ebra has such an interesting story that i'm HOPING we get to see in s4. sweeps too - he tried out for the chicago cubs! but on a positive note, i loved the chemistry between syd/luca. it was v sweet and organic. wonder if they'll be a thing in s4 since luca is carmy's foil. too bad marcus was barely in s3, tho the hug between him & luca at the party was cute. syd's meltdown mirroring carmy's in s2 was also a nice touch.

idk how to feel about sugar's labor scene. most praise it, but it didn't hit the same for me. donna's over-acting (the whole series) is really distracting and i can't take her seriously. ik she's supposed to be mentally unwell, but it borders on cartoonish. the hospital moment was heartwarming, but again, artificially. and pete was so underwritten too, just so they could have that mom moment. i liked the scene with him and syd tho. it felt authentically awkward.

i also understand what they were trying to do with the finale, but it was a flop for me. the scene with andrea/carmy staring out into the chicago night was introspective and beautiful, but the msg doesn't hit all the way bc we have a group of wealthy celeb chefs saying it's okay to stop while you're ahead and enjoy life while you can. every second counts. unfortunately for those who are not celeb chefs, it's not that easy to simply "enjoy life."

on one hand, i agree that food is life and restaurants have been community "third places" forever (essential to life itself; historically, like when revolutionaries would gather at pubs or cafes). however, do i think that fine dining and the "art" that comes with it is necessary? no. if there were more spots like the original beef/bear in the world tho, that would be a good thing.

[polyamorouspunk]

unfortunately if you call 911 for medical they still send cops no matter what, which i learned as a teen when i called and asked them to not send cops and they were like sorry we can't we have to send cops every time. learning basic first aid lessens the amount you need to call, which is also great because most people don't have the money for the ER (which is thousands and thousands of dollars per trip) and being able to do basic wound care like stitches is an important part of taking care of one another under capitalism. if the injury is too bad but the person is safe to be moved, drive them to the ER yourself or call a comrade with a car. if the person isn't safe to be moved or no one can get there fast enough, make sure to tell EVERYONE around you that you have to call 911 so everyone has time to leave before the cops get there. remember, do not talk to the cops at all once they get there, if they try to make small talk do not respond, every conversation with a cop no matter how innocent seeming is a part of their job which is to gather information on your comrades and connections. talk directly to the EMTs and ignore the cops as much as possible.

i have some other standard anarchist advice for navigating situations without involving the police but its too long to fit in an ask. im thinking about writing a zine since it seems to be something only people irl know a lot about and online punks dont know much. i learned from the irl scene so yeah before joining it i didnt really know all the ways you can just never involve the cops bc society brainwashes you to think you have to call them a lot. maybe making it online would make it more accessible to u guys too :]

.

[theshelteredbrat]

I'm so done

I don't wanna take care of myself anymore

I don't want to feel anything anymore bc anything I do for some sense of happiness ends badly, makes me feel worse (mainly due to my parents)

But I can't even fucking cry when I try. When I really need to?

But I hate feeling numb so maybe pain will work?

And of course my parents are just sooooo supportive (sarcastic voice). My mom keeps saying things that are basically calling me fat and sluggish. My parents won't let me do shit. Then they get mad at me for so many small stupid things.

They hate whenever I listen to music which is basically my only outlet.

school is fun bc I put on a mask and tell bad jokes and trip over myself to make sure everyone's happy and I'm not hated.

Whenever someone's mad or sad I feel its my fault even tho ik it's not but I feel horrible. And whenever I do share my true feelings they'll either laugh and dismiss it (which happens most of the time) or they get super concerned and I feel like I'm acting out for attention.

And idk I usually regret posting shit like this bc people are always rlly concerned but its sweet considering yall care about me a lot more than most ik irl but plz don't waste ur time over me. Im an attention seeking bitch whos not worth ur time and is js venting

Church and youth group is just great bc God don't care about me. I believe he exists bc I swear he has a grudge against me but he don't bother about me. And I feel like I'm getting preached at whenever I go. But I love the people there and can't really not go to church bc of my parents

And home is just SO MANY FUCKING CHILDREN

Like wtf I'm the oldest, then I get three siblings, which is fine, i love them they're js rlly annoying. Then they get into foster care. Then they stop. Now they're adopting someone. Now they're taking in six boys.

And ik the home is supposed to be a safe space and that's great but I feel so out of place and unwanted and useless. I literally take up a room, a drawer in the bathroom, I eat food. I shower, I use electricity, and tons of money

And I can't get a moment of peace, its literally do this, do that, and chores is good for taking responsibility but like wtf. I feed 1-8 children, get half of them dressed, help with brushing hair and teeth. Now I have to help them learn to read. Help them do their homework. Take them on a walk. Change the diaper.

Wtf this is parenting stuff I shouldn't have to be doing this everyday. My mom doesn't even have a job, she just has two kids during the day and will have to pick kids up (we all go to the same school except for one who takes the bus) and I'm yelled at all the time for being incompetent? For not finding a mess to clean up in a room I haven't been in all day?

For not doing homework when I'd helped everyone else? For not having time to get myself ready bc I have to get kids ready? For not exercising when there's literally no time? For not reading when I don't have any freedom. For saying yes, for saying no, for not having anyextracurricular, for having one?

My mom yells at me that I don't talk to my family enough or spend enough time with them. Do you know how many times I've tried to tell a joke or a cool fact or something funny that happened at school and they yelled at me to be quiet? How many times I've tried to tell them about my friends or a project at school or a new interest I've picked up to be insulted by them? They never fail to point out some flaw or traits that they don't like. How I didn't do something correctly.

Do you know how badly I've wanted to hear "I'm proud of you" in a nondissmissive way? From my family? I heard that from a teacher once in my life. Best memory ever.

I'm so fucking useless and unwanted and numb and tbh i deserve the pain and suffering of life. The mask at school and youth group may crumble and hopefully they'll dismiss me but they almost might get rlly concerned and ill js be the attention seeking bitch like I always am.

Oh God please ignore me. Don't be concerned. Don't waste your time on me. I'm js being a dumb little teen. Sorry if you read that all

[streamdotpng]

tell more about this new streamer au u've mentioned bc im very interested

So it starts with an game

You can vc and shit this game too and it was very very popular. You could choose whether to be a normie or an outcast, there were several jobs that one can take and quests with challenges.

Overall a really fun game bc you can either play with friends and build a land with them or play solo and try to complete everything

Think of uh, genshin! But you can customize and level up your character + it being constantly multi-player unless you go to your own private land that you can buy or get from quests

you can also unlock elusive powers as an outcast if you complete certain quests as well.

It was called, Jericho Online bc I can't think of a better name rn 😅

So it starts with Pugsley who starts badgering to thirteen year old Wednesday to join him in playing the game

Wednesday joins begrudingly, tired of all his incessant whining and also because the words of player killing caught her attention

Enid, whos been playing with pugsley is interested immedietely when the two log in. Going !? And circling the newcomer

Wednesday immedietely plays chase and that's the start of a new friendship, with Enid going !?!!!! And Wednesday pulling out her starter knife bc she's supposed to kill this monster

Enid's character is obviously a werewolf, one of the most famous race type in Jericho but there's a catch

Due to high demand, the devs has given a roll of chance to anyone who plays this race. Bc of this you could be an alpha, beta or cursed

Alpha's usually have a better chance to land a critical hit (aka better crit rate in their base form)

Beta is normal, your stats don't change.

Cursed are left unable to shift, which is an ability that all werewolves have where their crit dmg and crit rate is multiplied by two during full moons (which actually follows the irl moon cycle and there are usually combat events/bosses around then who drop really good loot)

This ability is really really good when you have the right artifacts and is part of the reason why so much people choose werewolves

Enid unfortunately, is a cursed and so she sulks with her amazing artifacts with the knowledge that it could be better if she just shifts

Continuing! Wednesday chose to be a psychic and ends up with the sub ability to summon ink creatures at her will. Aka be a beast tamer of some sort

The catch is, she has to kill the creature and subdue it first before she can acquire them into her slots. She is only allowed five creatures in battle so she has to choose carefully aswell

Being a beast tamer is pretty fun but it's lowkey like playing Pokémon so not alot of people liked to use it

Anyways abilities over

Wenclair plus pugsley go have fun, they start raiding dungeons, doing quests together until pugsley drops out from uninterest like a few months in

Enid understands, Wednesday doesn't care and so Wenclair continue their journey of beating absolute ass in this game because wednesday is competitive and Enid is happy to be there

They grind for the absolute best of artifacts and spend so much time on better weapons, it's almost like they're addicted

And honestly? Wednesday was having fun. There was a joy in being able to calculate how well you can do if you wear this goblet that raises your elemental dmg or if you lvl up this skill to a certain lvl you can beat absolutely everyone

(and maybe, planting lil carrots infront of Enid's house isnt so bad)

Enid while competitive, was having fun decorating her lil land far from Jericho. It was like a lil hobbit hole, with greens and vines and dim lighting because wednesday can never stand the bright lights that were originally hung up and vehemently refused to visit if they were there

"you're like a vampire!" Enid says in the in game comm

Wednesday tsks "a vampire who isn't afraid to pk you, Sinclair."

"you're so mean Willa," sinclair, Enid's username, whines.

Willa, Wednesday's own in game username, just hurls her dagger at the sulking blond.

"Wha- HEY!"

So they play and play and omy?

They get married?

Interesting, so it seems that in the second year anniversary of Jericho (when Wenclair are fourteen) the devs decided to have a lil romance for the lonely people and give the ability to marry

Why are Wenclair married? Well, obviously for the benefits. You get 3x the xp when doing quests, challenges and missions together, not to mention that the probability of getting better artifacts and quality quests skyrocket by 5 percent

Like sure you have to share land and divorcing means losing half your gold but it's fine!!

It's with the status of married does Wenclair stumble across a secret quest

The tale of Crackstone

By the third year (Wenclair are now 15) of playing and finishing of the tale, Enid's status as cursed shifts to bludhound.

They celebrate, theyre having fun and theyre practically a married couple. Wednesday insists to go to a dungeon and Enid wants to do a world quest instead

The two settle these disputes with any challenges. They're kids, theyre having fun and if Wednesday looks forward to spending time with Sinclair so much that she bought a pc for herself then that's for her to know.

It's been three years and theyre practically inseparable! The two playing everyday just to spend as much as time together

Until Enid mentions that she won't be so active in a few days.

Why? Willa asks in chat. Are you getting kidnapped?

Course not!! Sinclair replies. Why do you always think I'm being kidnaped??

^n E ways imma be movin so I'll be bz :( can't play much bc we Goin out a state

Wednesday pauses then she squints, there's a feeling in her gut.

Ok, is willa's simple answer. Get online when you come back, we still need to investigate Crackstone's crypt.

Kk! Sinclair cheerily replies. Bye bye Willa, cya in a few dayyysssss

Sinclair has logged out the world.

Wednesday tilts her head a tad and there's a crease on her brow as she sits in her chair. She continues playing, making sure to check over the crops one more time before turning in for the night.

Crackstone's crypt is left uninvestigated for years

Sinclair inbox: 99+ unread messages!

[hwavsg4ch4n]

I'll Protect You || L.K

tags/warnings: afab!reader, bodyguard!Minho, royal!au, Princess!reader, angst, rough family dynamics, suggestive, forbidden love trope (lol), Minho calls reader "your/my grace", if i missed anything pls message me!!

notes: omg am I posting!? Hi everyoneeee, first off I want to ask how everyone has been~. I haven't been an active writer, that's because I realized I was looking at this as a job rather than a hobby that brings me joy :(, therefore I took a break. Can't say I'm gonna be constant bc thus is a hobby not a job, but I love to write and i'm pretty sure I wont stop! ( I have a lot of things in my drafts) btw, this is lowkey inspired by Bridgeton, but not quite.

Description: Being a royal isn't easy, especially when every choice is made for you. But maybe having a kind guard around isn't so bad.

this is a work of fiction, an alternate universe. The Irl persons are not made to be perceived this way. 18+ content ahead, viewer discretion is advised.

lmk if I should make this into a little series :o

You huffed, picking at the herbs that laid on your pasta as a garnish, tuning out the boring kingdom talk your mother and father indulged in with the rest of the family. The pearly satin gloves on your hands grew uncomfortable as the queen brung your personal life into conversation once more. 

“Y/n will get married soon, I just know it.” You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at your mothers comments. Your father, as always, just had to add salt to the wound. “There are many suitors sending letters to the palace every day, even some from overseas. I don’t understand why you never reply efficiently-” You gave a tight lipped pained smile, not wanting to cause a scene; avoiding trouble.

You didn’t want all these random men, men that only saw your family's wealth. You already had a man you yearned for, one that was different. You look up from the tablecloth, in the doorway of the dining room stood your personal guard; Minho. He wasn’t looking at you, he was on duty. If he looked anywhere but straight he’d be bound to have to skip dinner for a lecture from the head guard. But you didn’t mind that he wasn’t looking at you, it made it easier to stare and get lost in the comfort of your own imagination; daydreaming about how wonderful it would be to run away with the kind man that always made sure you weren’t lonely.

Minho wasn’t always in your life, he only came to serve the royal family a mere 2 years ago. Being assigned as your personal guard didn’t sound exciting at first, just another shackle put around your ankles to prevent you from living the best you could under these circumstances. But as you grew accustomed to his presence, memorizing the scars on Minho’s neck and hands, finding safety in the pure brown of his round eyes, and the soft smile that he often wore on his lips; the one he’d only show you, you didn’t dread being looked over 24/7. He was more than enough for you, enough to make you feel whole in a palace that only offered emptiness.

Before Minho was a royal guard, he was a warrior. He only knew battle, but he didn’t want to fight all the time anymore, he wished for something more calm; so here he is. Yes he was rough around the edges but he got the job done, the king and queen liked him because he seemed to make their princess stop complaining. They didn’t care how he did it, as long as they didn’t have to hear your mouth and watch you themselves. 

As you stared at the man who looked after you, daydreaming of an alternate universe where you could be normal… your mother; the queen, asked your sister-in-law; the dutchess, to make a toast. What for? You didn’t know, but what you did know was envy. You could practically turn the color green as you watched your brother's fond eyes stare up at the woman he loved. He got to marry the woman he loved so purely, why didn’t you get to do the same? He got to pick, choose… yet you have no say.

You cleared your throat after sipping from the dark glass of wine. “Excuse me. Mother, father, may I be excused? The meal doesn’t seem to be sitting right with my stomach.” Your words were respectful but your face held an expression only Minho could read clearly, therefore he shifted on his heels, ready to accompany you.

“You’ve barely touched your food, my grace.” Your sister-in-law meant well, you know she did. But the fact that she can have the life she wishes for while you’re sitting idle with no authority over yourself makes you frown almost every time you see her smile happily. “Yes, well, I seem to have caught a bug. May I be excused, please… your highness?” You offered a tight lipped smile at your mothers unhappy face. The poised woman sipped from her white wine as she shooed you off with a flick of the wrist, but you couldn’t leave the dining room without her having the last words.

“Y/n dear, I want you to know… no matter how much you try to fight it, this is your life. You will eat when I tell you, wear what I want you to, and marry who I wish you to. Is that understood, darling?” Your eyelids fluttered as you fought back tears of frustration, no matter how hard you tried to be perfect, she saw right through you. “You’re dismissed.” 

The maids opened the grand doors, offering you pity glances as you clacked off; struggling to keep your composure as Minho followed closely behind.

He didn’t say anything as you sped walk into the garden, breathing heavily as tears finally flowed down your cheeks. You looked down at your glove clad hands as you stopped in the center of the garden, sniffling as you rushed to rip them off. Throwing them to the rocky pavement as you dug your heel into the glimmering fabric.

“Your grace,” you sighed softly at the sound of his voice, the voice that calmed you whenever this would happen. Minho didn’t seem to know the effect he had on you, or maybe he did and decided to ignore it. Either way his presence always worked.

“It’s cold out, and you have nothing to cover yourself with, shall we go inside?” He asked softly, staring at your back as you looked at the now dirty satin gloves on the cobblestone. You shook your head in disagreement, turning around to be met with Minho’s gentle eyes underneath the moonlight.

“The breeze feels nice, I wish to stay out here for longer. You can go back if you’d like.” Your voice was weak as you sat on a bench, overlooking a small man made lake your brother made for you as an 11th birthday gift. You watched as the koi fish swam carelessly, free. You couldn’t help but chuckle at the irony. 

You know Minho didn’t leave, he wouldn’t leave even if you paid him to. “Why is this my life Minho?” He stayed silent. You looked up at him, his expression neutral, used to having heard this talk from you multiple times.

“Why can’t I marry the one I love? Be happy with him, feel the kind of love my brother and the dutchess have. It’s right at my fingertips, but it’s being ripped away.” Minho raised a brow, this was new. Your rants were always about freedom, not about love.

“… are you in love, my grace?” Minho was surprised. He’s with you every hour of the day, he surely would’ve noticed if you’ve developed a crush on someone. 

You parted your lips, realizing what you’ve just said. The wine has seemingly gotten to you.

You stand up, “I want to go to my room.” You whispered, walking passed the now curious man. Minho swiftly picked up your gloves and handed them to a maid as he followed you inside. 

You dismissed the help as they offered to undress you. “Please just… go to your chambers, I want to be alone.” They all left, except for him. You closed your room doors behind you, sighing. “Would you like me to leave too, your grace?” You rolled your eyes, turning around to face him.

You were tired, tired of pretending, tired of hiding. “Have you ever been in love, Minho?” Your guard frowned, then soon moved in a hurry to help as he saw you trying to take off your jewelry. You sucked in a breath of air as you saw his reflection in the mirror, focused on helping you with your pearls. You fought the urge of closing your eyes as his fingers grazed your skin.

“I have.” He answered shortly, “but she didn’t love me back, I got over it quickly, it was years ago. Honestly, I’ve forgotten until you just brought it up.” He understood you needed a distraction, so he gave it to you, as he always did. Didn’t matter if you asked for a war story and a made up one, whatever you asked of him he’d try to do.

You blinked, staring as he set your pearls down on your vanity, moving to work on your earrings. “What did it feel like?” Your voice came out in a whisper, causing Minho to look in the mirror to see you looking back at him. His heart skipped a beat, seeing the expression of longing on your face was almost too painful for him to see. A sweet girl like you shouldn’t be unhappy, yet here you are, unable to flap your wings like you should be.

“I wish I could tell you the beauty of it, my grace; but all I can tell you is the pain.” Minho said calmly, offering a polite smile to your reflection as he placed one earring down, moving to the next.

“It feels like a breath of fresh air after you’ve been suffocating for years. Like you’ve been lured in by a siren to live in the depths of the sea but finally you’ve been saved, being able To see the sun again.” Minho’s hands paused at your words, looking at you through the mirror once more. A pang in his chest follows as you look at him the way you did during dinner, only this time he notices.

“Your grace…” he whisperers. “It feels of the warm sun in the early summer, when you’re in a meadow surrounded by freshly bloomed daisies and dandelions. You know, when the breeze is just right? It feels… good.” Your small smile soon turns grim, watching as Minho sets the last piece of jewelry down. “It also hurts; like you said.” Minho stood silent, his heart pounding as you turned to face him; peering up into his sparkling eyes. “It hurts when I see that I can’t have you anyway that I want.” Minho’s breath hitched at your confession. “What do you mean… your grace… have me? I don’t seem to follow.”

You smiled painfully, reaching a manicured hand up to hold his cheek; stroking lightly. “I want you the way my brother wants the Dutchess, maybe even more. I don’t care if it’s forbidden… I want you. I want you to hold me, and do what they do in the dramas that my mother makes me turn off whenever they come on.” Your whispers travel across his now heated face.

“You… you’ve had too much to drink.” You scoffed at his stammering, surprising Minho. “No, I know what I said and I mean it. I’m a grown woman Minho, treat me as such.” You frowned, tired of being treated so fragilely.

Minho took your hand off his face, gazing down at you. “… treat you like a woman…” He looked into your eyes as he trailed off, your eyes drifted down to his chest. You nodded, looking back up to see him with parted lips and a frown. “Are you… are you in love with me?” You scoffed, feeling defensive at the possibility of rejection. 

“You can’t question feelings, Minho, it’s something we can’t entirely understand. If you don’t feel the same that’s fine, but don’t try to-” 

“thank you… for loving me.” He whispered. You frowned, “what do you mean?” He chuckled softly, “Thank you, for having feelings for me.” You watched as he bowed, pressing a chase kiss to the back of your hand. You flinched at the warmth of his lips.

“Minho…” he stood up, his hands caressing your cheeks as he moved closer. “This is forbidden, what we’re about to do, you know well that it is. But yet i’d still risk it, your grace. You find me worth the risk, you confessing to me is more than enough reason.” You tilted your head in confusion, “W-what are we about to do, Minho?”  He smiles. “I’m going to make love to you, if that’s ok. I feel as if you deserve it.” He whispers. 

Your cheeks flush, for the first time your eyes want to look anywhere but him. You’ve never done anything intimate with another before. “I don’t want you to feel like you’re obligated to… to touch me.” You whispered, looking down at his lips instead of his eyes that were trying to find yours.

Your lips part as you feel a soft kiss pressed to your forehead, sighing as he then places one at the corner of your mouth. “I’ve been trying to be… respectful, your grace. But must you know, I've been wanting to feel your skin on mine for a while.” You tensed up at his confession. “H-huh?” Your voice was weak, a rush of arousal, heat making its way into your abdomen.

Minho’s thumb traced the outline of your cupid's bow. “Do you know how hard it’s been… hearing you touch yourself late at night, and all I can do is stand outside your door and listen?” Your face grew hot, “Listen to you whisper my name, you probably didn’t even mean too. Did you, your grace?” His voice was soft but that didn’t mean you were any less nervous. “U-uh, I thought I… I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.” Minho chuckled softly at your pity excuse of an alibi.

“You can’t help it, I know. I’m the only one who takes care of you, it’s natural for you to call out to me in times like that. I find it adorable actually, that you need me. Your fingers sliding into your cunt, wishing that it was any part of me doing it instead. Are my assumptions correct, hm?” Minho tilted his head, his fingers grabbing ahold of your chin, making you look at him. It was as if your heart was in your ears by how loud it was currently beating.

“But even though I wasn’t able to help you, you always managed to cum. I know exactly what you sound like when you get there, I memorized it; you sound so fucking sweet, if I could record it I would, your grace.” You took in a deep breath, “Min-”, “What do you imagine that makes you cum every time? Do you imagine that your precious fingers are mine? What about… hm,” you watched in disbelief as he pondered other possibilities. “Ah, my tongue tasting you. Catching every last bit of you, not wasting a drop. Is it that, your grace?” 

You were speechless, your mind blank as all you could feel were his words gliding right through you and straight to your know throbbing core. Imagining the scenarios described to you, like you could feel it.

“Oh, what about this. Do you like thinking about how well I can fuck you? How Just me slipping into you can make all the frustration go away? How I can make your mind blank, your head fuzzy and your legs shake as I fuck you just the way you tell me too. Is that what gets you off, my grace?” You couldn’t help the soft whine that escaped your lips. Minho coos with a knowing grin, his hand traveling from your chin to grip your entire jaw, gently pulling you closer so the tip of your noses are grazing.

“So sweet, pretty, precious, aren’t you?” Your mind grew fuzzy. “Let me serve you, It’s my job; and I love to do my job.”

[purpurussy]

id love to know more about your dinok au <333

thank you for asking <3 + sorry for responding to this a little late! i'm having trouble formulating my thoughts on it atm

my concept is that dan never found phil's channel, never met him, went to uni and married a girl he met there, and became a somewhat unsuccessful legal professional because he fucking hates his job. the vibe for him is that he kinda just let life drag him along, without really allowing himself to actually Live, and now he's in too deep to just come out as gay... like he's experiencing some insane cognitive dissonance dshshglk. coping through denial+alcohol has been working okay for him so far but now his career is flopping heavily and his marriage is falling apart bc he doesn't want kids (obviously) and his wife starting to suspect something is up. he meets phil through a mutual friend who he plays final fantasy with, they start talking via discord and then it's like "but wait what's this? my god it's manic pixie dream girl phil lester with a steel chair"

it's very angsty, slow burn, will they/won't they. but trust that phil is gonna see this sopping wet mess of a man and say "i can fix him" (and then dan will fix himself because i don't like that trope <3 but he needs phil to help him see that he can live his truth and be happy yk)

it's kinda hard to write because it's a bit depressing... i'm finally getting to the part where they meet irl and things start to turn around, but so far it's just been dan drinking to cope and feeling lonely :( i'm trying to go back and edit some humor into it to make it less upsetting to read lmfao. although it's fun to create a contrast between how bad dan's life fucking sucks and how much joy and whimsy he finds in talking to phil <3 it's also just really hard to write denial/cognitive dissonance if that makes sense? there's a lot to explore psychologically. and also I don't want to frame dan's beard wife as an antagonist, I feel like it would be very easy to demonize her but she's not to blame for this mess ykwim. like i don't want dan to be a "my bitch wife" kinda guy DSGSHGKG he's just scared. and the story is supposed to be about him being brave and healing, and realizing that a better life is possible. like he is his own antagonist dslskfghgjkl

I'm also enjoying the concept of the timeline roughly following their irl 2009 timeline. like they start talking around dan's 33rd birthday, meet on october 19th etc. i like the idea of some things being kinda constants even in a different timeline

anyway they just voice chat for a while and get to know each other without actually even knowing what the other looks like. and they lowkey fall in love even before they've even seen each other. so here is them seeing pics of each other for the first time and dying in a tragic double penis explosion incident

(earlier on phil tried to be like "why are you gay? you are gay." but dan just got scared and dodged the question so now he's not even out to phil . can you believe. that's gonna be real awkward when they start making out sloppy style 3 chapters later)

(also i just realized i've written [dan] like a million times while writing this LMAO that did not actually click for me until now)

sorry for rambling for ages! i'm so tired atm so i can't really be coherent lmao.

i really wanna post this once it's done, but i'm worried it'll be too sad and angsty at the beginning and people won't be into it 😭 i'm probably not doing a good job selling this but it'll be okay i promise

also shoutout to the people who helped me brainstorm dan's username! i havent decided yet but i like the idea of him picking something generic at first, and then changing it to something more meaningful as he goes on his little journey of self-discovery

[ticklystuff]

:O for the team ask game! Kafka, Black Swan, Ruan Mei, and Luocha (I love women (I love twinks (I love women & twinks))) I can't tell if my team is good or bad honestly :'D

ask game is closed!

hello~ you are so valid lmao luocha is one of the girlies (also yes your team is quite good from a gameplay perspective)

also sorry i don't think i totally understand black swan's character yet so i might be a little inaccurate when it comes to her!

who’s the most ticklish character

i think it'd be ruan mei! she doesn't really mind, though, and i think she'd be interested in why she's so ticklish compared to her teammates or why people laugh when tickled. yeah tbh i think she'd find tickling fascinating because what is the evolutionary advantage of being born with a trait that can be so debilitating

who’s the character that most people would assume isn't ticklish, but actually is

black swan because she literally does not have a body lmao BUT you can still tickle her in dreams and such! it surprised her too when she first became a memokeeper and felt the light breeze tingle against her back in a dream like bruh what was even the point of giving up your body if you can still feel stuff asdlkfjs

who’s the character that everyone gangs up on and tickles

oh it's absolutely luocha because he's the only guy on the team and you cannot convince me that kafka doesn't get the others to tickle him to tears. she tells him that it could be ten times worse but they don't want to ruin his pretty face~ also they'd love to tease him to get him to reveal his true identity like "are u really a merchant? what's in that coffin of yours hm?"

who’s the character that somehow knows everyone else’s tickle spots and reveals them to others

oh it is absolutely black swan because she collects memories due to her memokeeper job, so she knows where everyone has been tickled and which spots are the best. she wouldn't go around spreading them so blatantly though but might subtly drop a spot like "ah luocha, i came across the cutest memory of your friends tickling you~ i think they were counting your ribs? absolutely heartwarming." also i've mentioned this before but ruan mei would be good at guessing just based on the vibes people give off

who's the character with one specific tickle spot that only one other person knows about

ok idk if you remember but during the recent story quest but there was a shot of black swan's back turned to the camera and there was a good view of the beauty mark on her back which i'm pretty sure they wanted to show off for whatever reason but ya kafka saw the beauty mark too and was like "you got a bit of dirt there, pretty lady" and gave her a poke and when black swan jumped she was just like "whoops~"

who’s the most likely to win gang tickle wars

i'm going to assume these tickle wars occur in a dream bc well black swan does not have a body and she has the ability to choose who gets to see her so you probably can't tickle her irl and that's just not fair lol but even in a dream it's still black swan! like have you seen her burst?? she summons those giant arms and they have claws too!! and she can make people forget things for a moment, so they're like what were we doing again?? but ya black swan is the tickle monster if black swan chooses to play fair, then it's kafka because kafka comes from a place where the people do not feel fear (her backstory makes her sound like some eldritch horror) so she will do absolutely anything to win. also she still has the ability to influence people's minds and can use that to turn the tables when things do start getting bad like "listen, you will tickle luocha"

which character has a kink for tickling

i feel like the easy answer here is kafka so maybe her? BUT i just have this feeling in my soul that would luocha would have a tickle kink too idkidk he's giving me "magikarp in the streets, gyarados in the sheets" vibes, like i just feel that he's into some shit more out there than just tickling, but also tickling is one of his kinks

which character didn’t even know they were ticklish until another character tickled them

kafka because no one has ever tried to tickle her before because of how turly frightening she is but black swan does not fear her and since she does not have any memories of kafka being tickled, she had to just create some for herself

which two characters have tickle fights all the time

i think ruan mei would have this one-sided interest in tickling black swan because how does being a memokeeper work? does she feel tickles the same way humans do? will she get tired when tickled for long periods of time or is her energy endless? these are all questions that black swan has answered for her already but ruan mei will still go out of her to try and tickle her from time to time i think kafka would also bully luocha because only one of them can be aloof and mysterious. she later finds out that luocha is actually a pretty skilled tickler too when he wants to be and she has to put a lot more effort into these things than initially expected

[ouroboros-hideout]

Time to go to Rewe and stock up on groceries for the house of Baddieghest! Shopping list: — 1 kg of Po-ta-toes — Aon — 1 Avocado — Aon as well — 100 soft dark Tomatoes — Vlad (don't buy, just throw at him) — 1 Lemon — each of them (since a certain oversized gollum stole all of them) If your credit balance is too low for the purchase, call mom Jago!

Time to make some salad of the things our circus director brought to the house. Italy won't get anything of it tho. She would only complain about it anyway bc there are potatos in it. Absolutely no taste.

AON

🥔 [POTATO] What do they have that others see as a flaw, but they don't care about?

Maybe her bossy attitude of “You can't tell me shit” and her tone in general. She can be very compassionate, but she's always walking a fine line between “okay, I'm being really nice and empathetic this time" or "lol get your shit together and stop whining.” But it's always been her way of saying what she thinks rather than wrapping the person she's talking to in a blanket just to create a sense of fake comfort. She's been through way too much shit in her life to care who she might offend or not. Deal with it, or get lost.

🥑 [AVACADO] What will they never back down about, even if it makes them seem bad?

I think the thing you can blame her most for is her work. It's not exactly a respectable job, manufacturing war machines and weapons, but it fills her with pride when she completes a big project. Building machines is her passion. That particular type of machine maybe wouldn't have been her first choice, but having already learned a lot about it while studying at SovOil, she stuck with it during her time with the Nomads and refined her skills. After all, it's lucrative because the world is just a rotten place and she has to look after her people. Is it reprehensible that people are being killed with the weapons she makes? Sure. But if it's not her weapon, then it's someone else's. Maybe she’s too pessimistic to think that anything in this society would change anymore. In a sense of: I could make this world a better place if I instead would do xy.”  

🍋 [LEMON] What is their kryptonite/ultimate weakness?

People she loves and cares about. She’s really protective for her found-family, especially for those she knows are no fighters or would struggle to defend themselves in a dangerous situation. She’s not overly protective of the ones she knows can handle themselves, like Kurt for example, but that doesn't mean you couldn’t do a lot of damage to her if something happens to him or any other person that’s close to her. 

VLAD

🍅 [TOMATO] How misunderstood is your OC? In-universe or IRL.

Misunderstood in the sense that it's hard to believe that there's still something human/empathetic in him that just can't come to the surface anymore and that's quite an inner struggle for him sometimes. Like: fighting the beast inside and knowing that you're gonna lose anyway. So of course everyone sees him as the cold-blooded bastard with the psycho mindset because that's the only thing that comes to the outside. That's why he's not really misunderstood, but there would certainly be an opportunity to understand him on a different level if someone had the chance to delve deeper into this man's mind. Though there is no way to repair the damage that’s done so it only would be a thing to satisfy curiosity instead of trying to fix something. 

🍋 [LEMON] What is their kryptonite/ultimate weakness?

Could be two things. One is his physical weakness, one is his mental weakness. Physically his artificial heart. Like in a natural body it’s the core of his whole system and if it fails everything else shuts down as well. He surely would have a bigger time window until all the other inner modifications of his body stop working completely but if you really want to take him out the best way would be to rip that thing out of his chest. 

On a psychological level it’s when he’s “getting aware of his condition”. He sometimes has very rare and short moments of clarity, where he knows that something is wrong inside his head. Those moments are triggered by strong emotions both positive and negative and affects him like “a glitch in his system”. He gets more careless, confused or even has a short blackout. Surely could be something that can be used against him, tho it is a bit of a gamble to trigger such a moment on purpose. 

[itsjaywalkers]

how do you plan to survive in jegulus fandom when everyone hates each other? how it will work in a long run and what newcomers should do? how are we supposed to know what fics not to read and with whom do not interact and what events not to join?

honestly nonnie i get where the fear and concern come from, bc this fandom is a shitshow and i've never been in one that it's this Bad or Miserable but also . it has brought me a lot of wonderful ppl?? art that i adore and that has inspired me and continues to do so?? sure, a part of it fucking sucks, but that's true for every fandom, even if the marauders fandom IS worse than others

i can assure u, not everyone hates each other. i'm friends with many ppl who are incredibly dear to me, and who i trust and admire and i love!! and there's others who i'm not as close to but who i also get along with really well, and the content i get on my dash is almost always nice?? and lovely?? and interesting?? idk, apart from random hate asks (and i couldn't care less about those) the time i spend here in tumblr participating in fandom is more often than not fun and fulfilling

and newcomers should do the same i did when i first got into the fandom, and what everyone else before me has done. get to know other ppl. decide by themselves who and what they like. block or mute what they don't. focus on everything they're passionate about and ignore the rest. fandom is about having fun and about community. yes, ofc you're gonna encounter assholes and have to deal with shitty situations but that's just part of it. it can't be Good and Perfect all the time

regarding fics or ppl or events, again, it's all up to u. i think most of us are old enough to make our own assumptions and choose by ourselves. if ur wary about something or someone, then u can ask around and then decide depending on ur own ideals or what's more worth it to u. this is just fandom, and most of the time, it's never that deep. like, i have a life outside of tumblr and ao3 and anything marauder related, and half of the shit that goes down here doesn't matter irl?? why the fuck should i care about some anonymous asshole telling me im awful at writing or that jegulus sucks when i have bills to pay and friends who love me and a job i need to go to five days a week (ofc there are exceptions and sometimes problems can be genuinely serious and severely affect real ppl but u get what i mean)

my point is . i understand where ur coming from bc this fandom is a nightmare but also . it's just fandom . if it's too much and it's not worth it then u don't have to get involved At All and still enjoy it from the outside

and regardless, i promise u it's not half as bad as u painted it out to be