#having like a Bad Time irl bc I can't get a job and have no income among other things

[roadkill-punk]

Hi gang sorry I like burnt out and exploded here's a wip + Gabriel face headcanon. Righteous hands of the father or whatever.

Don't look too hard at the hand anatomy it'll get fixed like. Eventually.

[dilf-docs]

Can We Hit It Now, Low-Down And Gritty?

dieter bravo x younger fem!reader

summary: the last thing you need is world-renowed asshole slash actor dieter bravo to yell at you for doing your job. he'll pay for that.

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap, smut, p. in v., pwp, size kink, brat taming, degradation kink, fingering, oral (f. receiving), pussy spanking (again?! dilf-docs u horndog WE GET IT), creampie, tbh this is just pure self fullfing filth pls forgive me Lord I have sinned, dieter bravo (yes that's a warning), nicknames (doll), reader is a glorified porn writer, she can also speak spanish but no physical description/nationality is mentioned

word count: 6,324 words

side note: hello someone please take away ai bots from me thank you. won't add anything else, just enjoy this horny mess sponsored by our fluffy disaster king (did enjoy writing their banter though). i need to be on horny jail bc i'm on those days and wrote this in about 24 hours talk about desperate like i'm going to hell wow if you know me irl no you don't

The set was quiet, well, as quiet as it could be: quick footsteps, flickers of lights, turning of pages, sips of freshly bought coffee and instructions yelled to the air.

That is something you can control. Like, even. But this job isn't easy, given not only what but also who you need to handle.

And speaking about the devil, here comes the who: world-renowned asshole and actor, Dieter Bravo, storming into the place with a strenuous walk.

Just what you need: he's coming in your direction with what you recognize is the movie's script in his hands.

"Who wrote this?!" he angrily shouts, glaring at the people on the set.

"I did" you stand still, defiant even. "Is that a problem?"

Dieter scoffs when he hears your response.

"Is that a problem?" he mocks. "Look at this!"

He holds up the script but you don't even bother to look at it: you've read it so many times, you could recite it from memory.

"This crap isn't going to sell" Dieter argues. "People aren't going to be interested in this story"

There's an irritated expression on his face as he looks down on you. Does Dieter think you care? Of course you knew it was bullshit as soon as you finished the first page, but you had to pay bills, and working this shitty jobs would get you closer to the contacts you needed―the only reason you're doing this in the first place.

"Tell me" he stands before you, and he's so close, you can hear his uneven breathing. "Did you really write this garbage?"

What's the point in lying? The only reason why you did is because you wanted to make him mad. Is it childish? Yes. But you have your reasons, the biggest one being that in no way would you allow a celebrity to talk down on you like that. It's one of the worst parts of your job, and not even Dieter and his handsome face would let you take his shit.

"No, I didn't. But I approved it" you cross your arms, revealing the truth. "You know, you're being very dissmisive of people's hard work because you can't stand not being so called perfect. It's called humilty, you could try"

(You don't really care about this people's hard work that much. They did a bad job, but in the end, a job. He should respect them for that, not the result. A bad one, objectively speaking)

Dieter scoffs at your response, obviously not liking the snarky tone.

"Oh, you approved it?" his tone comes out annoyed. "Which means you know it's crap, right?"

You shrug your shoulders, making him visibly frustrated with the conversation.

"This has nothing to do with me wanting to be the spotlight, you idiot" Dieter raises his voice, "did you even stop to think about the viewers?"

Okay, so now you're the villain. Frankly, it's been a bad week, and the last thing you want is this guy thinking he can get away with harrassing and talking down a less payed crew member just because he's rich, famous and hot. Whatever. If he wanted to play with fire, you'll happily be the match.

"Listen, I approved it because I want to go home and be at peace. Don't give me crap about the viewers. Of course I know this is shit! But I don't get paid enough to care. Besides, even if I wanted, I couldn't change it. You're angry at the wrong person; I'm just following orders"

Dieter clenches his fist, clearly struggling to keep his calm.

"So you just do whatever the hell the director says?" he spits in a irritated tone.

"That's about my job"

"You do know that could mean this movie flops, right? Is that how little you care about what you do?"

Dieter stands before you, crossing his arms, the veins on them popping with annoyance.

"You don't know shit about me" you reply while trying not to look at his flexing biceps too much, hoping he doesn't notice. "And I'm sorry to break it to you, but not all of us are big names that can do whatever they please or hold that much power. If it was up to me, I wouldn't hire this stupid director, writer or you, who, by the way, are way past your prime"

It's an unnecesary offense you truly didn't mean, but you hate the way he talks to you as if you were stupid. And maybe the blow felt bigger because you are a fan. Geez. You thought working with him would be a dream, despite his reputation, yet now all the claims are becoming true in the worst way possible. The last thing you need is Dieter finding out you're a fan, and even if it's a coward way out, you'll defend what's left of your dignity however it takes.

Dieter's brown eyes widen in disbelief at your petty comment. Then, they spark with rage, as he looks quite furious.

"Excuse me?! You don't get to talk about me like that" Dieter moves his ringed hands erratically in the air, as to make his point any more clear. "Do you know how hard I've worked for my career? I won't have anyone, less a little brat, tell me I'm past my prime"

You admire his career, that's the worst of it all. But the annoyance has settled deeply in between you both, and you find yourself at loss for words or energy to keep bickering. Besides, behind you, you can hear the order to continue filming in a few.

"Yeah, you don't get to talk to me like that either. I guess we're even" you sigh, tiredly. "Anything else I can help with, Mr. Bravo?"

If you could, you would cover your mouth in horror. You didn't mean to call his name like that, as if you're allured by him. Fuck Dieter. You hope he doesn't read too much into the tone.

But of course his drug-fried brain would notice that, the actor staring at you with a puzzled look when you call his name.

"Oh, now you're calling me Mr. Bravo, eh? Trying to flirt your way out of this? I'm not a dumbass, you know"

The fact that he associates the calling with flirting rather than nerves makes your eyes twitch. He keeps staring at you, heat making it's way to your face. It's like he's trying to find out if what you said was indeed flirting, and given by the smirk he's giving you, it seems Dieter's got the wrong veredict.

"I'm not stupid either, but here you're talking to me like I am"

Great. That came out even more childish than you intended.

You think the color painting your cheeks is noticeable now, as Dieter lets out a small chuckle. He then cuts the distance even more, the irritating smirk still on his face.

"Well, then don't try and play me like I'm an idiot." Dieter pauses for a moment, then continues in a teasing tone when he sees your flushed face. "Oh, you're so red... It's cute"

"Cute?" the sound you let out is a mix of a chuckle and scoff. "Did you just call me cute? Are you too trying to flirt your way out with of this?" you repeat his same words from earlier. He chuckles amused at your behavior, his smirk turning into a cocky smile as he stares down at you.

"Me? flirt my way out? I would never." he then continues to speak in an amused tone. "I call people I find cute, cute...and you are definitely cute"

"Oh, I'm not the only one then, huh? And here I thought I was special" you feign hurt, and even if you're not an actor, you hope it sells. "And here I thought we were playing the same game. Well, I suppose we're done, and you can go back to filming or complaining, whatever suits you. Oh, the director is here: now bother someone else"

"Special? Nah, can't say you are." he says playfully at your attempt to brush him off. Then Dieter glances over in the director's direction but his gaze returns to you. "Oh, I'll deal with him later, you worry about yourself, sweet cheeks"

You know it's part of the banter, but it's no news to anyone who truly knows you the insecurity you've felt after so many projects rejected, ideas scrapped and terrible dating life. The you're not special hangs in the air, suffocating you; it feels like a slap to the face. Not to be a downer or such a mood changer, but it's hard to pretend. Yeah, you couldn't be an actor even if you tried to.

"Yeah I know" you answer, this time not pretending. Your voice may have given you away, so you turn around, hoping he doesn't get to see your face fall. "You're right, I'll take care of myself or whatever you said before. Bye, Mr. Bravo" you rush the words out, embarrased at yourself and how easily he's got you wrapped around his finger.

Really? And I called him again like that? So stupid.

But he notices that your face has changed a bit, picking up the slight change. Dieter feels a slight pang of guilt for what he said, his smirk disappearing from his face. He lets out a sigh when you bid goodbye; he was having fun.

"Hey, wait a minute"

The actor reaches out and gently grabs your arm, stopping you from leaving.

"What do you want?" you dryly ask, trying to keep a stoic façade, hoping Dieter doesn't catch the racing heartbeat by touching your wrist. "Go bother someone else"

"What I want..." he pauses for a brief moment, "...is for you to not walk away"

Dieter's grasp on your wrist loosens a bit, but he still keeps a hold on you. "I made a mistake. I was being an ass"

Was he, apologizing? For a moment, it seemed like Dieter was going to admit to what he did, which was unlike him, but his voice sounded genuine.

"D-Dieter!" you squeak his name in surprise, then blushing at the embarrassing sound. "You can't be serious, I mean- I'm the one that's sorry, I was an ass first. I think I deserve that"

It doesn't make sense and yes, you deserve his apology, yet at this point you're braindead and this is nothing but just nervous rambling at his actioms, so out of character from what you've heard and know.

A small chuckle escapes from the actor's mouth when he hears you squeak his name.

"I am serious. I mean it. You did not deserve it" his light grasp on your wrist stays as he slowly runs his thumb over your skin. Dieter stands even closer, making your breath hitch.

"W-what are you doing? You realize we're on set, right?" you laugh nervously, yanking your arm, even if you want him to still hold you.

The actor slowly loosens his grasp on you and lets go of your wrist, but the relief is short-lived as he moves his hand to your chin, tilting your head up to look at him.

"Of course I know we're on set. Why? You think I'm doing something you don't like?"

Mischief glistens in his eyes, and you gulp nervously at the turn of events.

"I don't like it because it's not what I've heard from you" you confess before even stopping to think a proper answer. "You know, they warned us... to not get involved with the cast, and you? This isn't who I thought... heard- I think I'm going insane" you get very nervous, well aware you're doing a very poor job at hiding it. "Y-you have an exhibition kink or something?"

Ah, why. Yes, of course your mouth and brain had teamed up against you, the duo an expert on ruining your life.

See, it was a joke, but it comes out horribly wrong, making you cover your mouth. "Fuck, I'm sorry, I truly didn't mean-"

Dieter lets out a soft chuckle when you cover your mouth in embarrassment, clearly enjoying this.

"An exhibition kink? That's interesting. I've never been asked that before..."

His hand gently grabs your wrist, slowly moving it away from your mouth.

"Oh, don't cover your mouth. I like the things you say, although some are dumb"

"Wow, you're still hellbent on calling me dumb. I thought we were friends" you breath relieved at the way he took your stupid move, playfully nudging his side, feeling plush skin under his clothes. Fuck. You better leave before you dig this hole deeper. "So, do you or not? Answer the question. The joke may have backfired but my curiosity is still there"

"Dumb, stupid, idiot... you choose. I'm still going to call you that, doll. Can't let you off that easily" Dieter chuckles before answering your question, because of your boldness and the reappearing dark shade over your face. "Alright, I'll answer your question. Are you sure you want to know, though? You have a wild imagination"

"How do you know?" you fake gasp. "Have you read my works?"

It came out in the moment, not something you're used to saying out loud, especially when you're simply an assistant, because honestly, it's embarrassing.

Dieter gives you a small smirk when you fake gasp at his statement. He then continues to look down at you.

"I've heard some things. That some of the scenes you've written are a bit... steamy. If you know what I mean"

There is that same treacherous blush again. How could you get out of this?

"No I don't" and a tricky smile adorns your features, "enlighten me"

Great. The best way out seems to be going down.

"Is that right? You don't know what I mean? Well, you're the hand behind these love scenes, aren't you?"

The small input in this movie, by yours truly. When he received the script, he recoiled at how bad it was, almost calling his agent to call quits on the project. But then he had read the first of many scenes involving a certain type of action, and he decided to stay. Now that he stands before you, knowing it's you who's written them, he finds the discovery amusing and worth entertaining, no matter if he was initially pissed at the fact you were also part of the reasons why he wanted to quit.

A cocky smile appears on the actor's face when you get closer: he likes how, despite the embarrasing events you still find it in you to stand before him, spark behind your eyes full of mischief. It all starts to make sense, he thinks with amusement.

"Love scenes?" you taunt. "You mean the ones were they break furniture and blow off steam with the nasties sounds ever heard to human kind? Nope, doesn't sound like it; no idea what you're talking about" Then you pause, to keep suspense. You lick your lips, making sure to hold his gaze. "Unless..."

Dieter snickers when you describe the scenes; filming hadn't yet get there but he is eager. The actor's gaze is fixed on you as he lets out a low hum.

"Unless what? You can't just pause there, now that got me intrigued"

This isn't real, because he genuinely seems interested in what you'll say next.

"Unless you want to recreate them before filming, since you know, you're so damn interested. Sweeping your big nose in business you shouldn't" you called his nose big not as an offense but rather a compliment: it's literally the prettiest you've ever seen. Hell, it's not only endearment you feel towards it; you've literally wrote a scene where the female lead grinds off it, all while thinking of him. You really hope he's lying about reading your stuff. "Metiche"

Dieter lets out a surprised laugh at your comment about his nose, positive in his mind. He found it amusing that you called it big, which usually would be negative to some, but he didn't really mind. It's also funny in a way, and he finds to be enjoying this more than he should, long forgotten his complains or the movie he's supposed to be shooting as of now.

"Metiche, huh? You have quite the mouth on you"

"Do I?" are you confident, bold or stupid? "You haven't even seen anything yet, Mr. Bravo"

Dieter lets out another chuckle at your confidence. He's definitely entertained by your responses. He tilts his head while giving you a curious expression.

"Is that so? You have something more you'd like to share, doll? I'm open to see whatever you have if I haven't seen it already"

"Or read" I joke, "like I seriously need to check my friends to see who would sell me out. Did you truly read my stuff or you're just fucking with me?"

Dieter lets out another chuckle, finding your joke funny. He then gets a more serious, but still amused, expression on his face.

"I'm not messing with you, I did read some of them, including the ones on this movie. I didn't lie about that, I promise" he pauses for a brief moment, letting out an amused hum. "Y no te preocupes, linda. No estoy jugando contigo"

"If you didn't lie then I suppose you'd know who I had in mind when I wrote that scene of a guy eating a girl's pussy while she sits in his face, grinding on it. I'll give you a clue" you tiptoe, until the hot of your breathe clashes against the cold of his ear's skin, "he's got a big nose"

Dieter lets out a low hum when you drop the clue. "A big nose huh? Sounds familiar"

"It does?" you ask on an overly saccharine tone, fingers carressing the bridge of his nose, softly.

How did we get here?

He leans in a bit to get closer, clearly into your little taunts.

"Yeah, it does. And you just confirmed it too, no need to try to hide it now"

"Woah, don't let the ego win over, Mr. Bravo. A lot of people got big nose, you included" you smirk, removing your fingers from his face, and he would never admit out loud he instantly misses the warmth of your touch. "It's just coincidental you got the part and matched the character's description. You know what they say: all events depicted in this movie are fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental" you recite.

He laughs, shyly. "I know a lot of people have big noses, but I do wonder why you chose that trait in particular"

"I wonder too" then your tone drops low, "We should try, you know, to see if it's viable before we get to filming that part... call it exploratory research"

He feels your fingers touching again his nose.

"Exploratory research, you say?" Dieter lets out a soft chuckle. "How about you be a doll and show me some of that research. I'll gladly be the test subject"

You get flustered. This went too far. Why aren't you running away, or banging your head against a wall for some common sense? This is getting ridiculous, but so is the wet spot between your legs.

"Um, I- wow, I- do you really...? No way" you become a rambling mess again, trying to steady yourself, "You want to eat my pussy?"

The words come out brash, making you cringe.

"Is that what you're saying, Mr. Bravo? You can still turn around and pretend you don't know me. Muero de pena"

Hee tilts his head to the side, looking at you with an almost wolf-like look in his eyes. He takes a step closer, so more of his body is against your own, his face closer to yours.

"Don't do that. You don't have to be embarassed, doll" his finger plays with your lower lip. "I'm saying exactly that"

"Please" voice so small it feels like you'll break, "do it"

The actor lets out a hum in response to your small voice.

"Right here...?"

"No!" you jump horrified, getting out of the horny haze for a bit. "Oh, God. Do you want to be blacklisted, Dieter?" squeaky, lowering your gaze to avoid his, resorting to playing with your fingers. "You have a room, right? They gave you one.... just for you, right?"

He nods his head in response.

"Perks of being the lead actor" he beams a bit proud with full-blown ego in display. "I have my own trailer, and it's not that far away"

"It's okay, I like walking anyways" you reply. "As a matter of fact, I like a lot of things"

The actor lets out another soft laugh in response.

"You're cheeky, you know that, baby?"

He starts to lead you towards his trailer, putting his arm around your waist. It feels big and warm, his touch making a current shoot down until it looses in between your legs. If this is what fighting and low paid terrible jobs got you, you'd do it more often.

"Cheeky? Cute? Do you want to kill me?" I laugh as we almost make it there. "Turns out, I kinda like that"

Now, where you testing your luck by keeping on running your mouth? You need to shut it up forever.

The actor chuckles when you ask if he wants to kill you, stopping in his tracks when you mention that you kind of like that. He looks down at you with a soft, yet cocky smile, but his arm still lingers around your waist.

"I've never heard a woman say that before, doll. I'm starting to believe you have some weird things you're into"

I'm a porn writer, but now you stop before saying more shit. His comment makes you flustered, getting shy all of the sudden as if you hadn't just half-admitted part of your kinks.

Whatever, what's out in the open air can't be unsaid. And Dieter seems to be just as into this as you, finally someone to match your freak after all those men whose cowardice made them leave before the fun started. I'm a porn writer, what'd you expect? It would be fun if I was into vainilla stuff.

"Weird things?" you pretend to be offended, "what do you have in mind?"

"Me? You want me to think? My head is still hurting from yesterday's hangover" he jokes, "why don't you be a doll and tell me exactly what you want?"

You smirk devilishly and he's taken back by the change of your demeanor. You were truly a little wolf disguised as a sheep.

"What I want is for you to press your weight onto me as you fuck me raw" you get red as you spill the lewd thoughts out loud, but it's what you write so it's not new. Your eyes dart to the curve of his soft belly, tight against his shirt. You look away, even redder if possible. "For the research, of course! All with purpose, to uh- See if I don't suffocate- the character, I mean!"

Your dirty words darken his brown kit-kat eyes, clearly enjoying the way you talk to him.

"Of course, for the research. Got to make sure the scene is accurate, right?"

He lets out a small hum and moves his hand on your waist, until they dig in your hips.

"Yeah, because we're professionals. Is this your trailer?" you ask, trying to deviate the conversation because your face keeps getting hotter. "This is your last chance to turn your back before this gets weirder. Hell, I might even leave the country"

The actor smiles at your comment about being professionals, finding it amusing.

"It's my trailer, doll. And I'm not turning my back after how this conversation is going. If I wanted, I would've already left. You'd have to try to get rid of me yourself"

Dieter then grabs his door handle and turns it, opening the door to his trailer. Your heart beats faster than humanely possible.

"Please don't look at me like that"

Dieter lets out a soft hum and looks down at you with a cheeky smile.

"Why not? I like to look at you"

He leads you inside the trailer. Once you're both inside, he shuts the door behind him. With lock. Hearing the click makes your heart skip a beat.

"Don't look at me like you'd do all the stupid things I've said"

The actor is clearly amused by your words.

"What makes you think I wouldn't?"

He licks his lips with anticipation, bracing himself for what's to come.

"I think you're smart. That you know what's best for you" your fingers go to his curls, and you can feel him shiver at the touch. His hungry expression goes soft for a brief moment, and you think you like that too.

"Mmm... your hands feel nice..."

You smile like the Cheshire cat. "And they feel even better when you put them to good use"

The actor lets out a low chuckle in response to your words and looks down at you with a cocky smile.

"Is that a hint, darling?"

"A hint?" you snort. "That's a whole ass answer in red, bold and capital letters"

The man lets out a loud laugh at your response.

"Damn, you're feisty with that attitude, aren't you, doll?"

"Am I?" your eyes darken, body walking in automatic, closing the distance. His soft body irradiates warmth, the section between his pants feeling hard. "Will you punish me for that?"

The actor lets out a soft hum when he feels your body against his own. Dieter's face slowly gets more lustful.

"Mmm, depends on how bad you are, doll. I could punish you if you misbehave"

"What would you count as misbeheaving, Mr. Bravo? I just want to be a good girl" you whisper, batting eyelashes.

The man smirks at your comment and the way you bat your eyelashes teasingly.

"You'll see. You wouldn't want me to spoil the surprise, doll. Being a good girl will get you a nice reward, though"

"Like" you caress his nose, "helping me on the research part?"

Dieter enjoys your teasing touch on his nose and smirks at your comment.

"Mmm, just like the research part, doll"

"Would you show me?" you ask out in a tone so sweet, he's about to come right there. He didn't think it was possible, even. So he lets out a cocky laugh as he says, tone dropping too:

"Maybe I should if you're so persistent in not believing me"

You roll you eyes. "You really think I'm that easy to convince?"

"That's not a no" Dieter smirks.

You scoff. "It's also not a yes"

His tricky ringed fingers trace until it gets in the middle of your legs, feeling your dripping arousal. He then removes the finger and licks it with his long tongue, the scene as obscene as it is but never removing his gaze from yours.

"You sure? Your words might say one thing, but your body says something else"

You get defensive, despite him cornering your frame against one of the trailers walls.

"What would you know about my body?"

Even if his eyes bear irritation, he lets out an entertained laugh.

"I see you like playing these games. Pissing me off until I shut you up myself"

"I don't care" your tongue drips in snark, and he's equally pissed and turned on.

"You're a bad liar, doll. Can't act even if your life depended on it"

You scoff, as you muster the most annoyed tone you can. "Yeah?"

"I ain't met you that long, but I can tell how your body needs me" his voice sends shivers down your spine. "Still think I'm dumb? That I can't see the way you look at me, lips almost drooling, body shaking, pleading me to touch it?" all words you could say die in your throat. "What's that? Cat got your tongue? I see you're busier getting wet"

"I-I don't know what you're talking about" but there's no confidence in your voice anymore, giving away how turned on you were. Your mind goes numb at the dangerous game you're playing, coming only to your senses when his hard cock grinds against your soaked panties.

"I think you do" Dieter bites his lip, giving your core another hard rub. "I know you'd love to feel my cock around your pretty soaked pussy. Hell, you've been begging for it"

Your mind may be backtracking, but your body definitely wasn't.

"C'mon. Stop playing hard to get, doll" Dieter chuckles, "I know you want this"

He doesn't get a word out of you, but the patch against his jeans growing wetter is enough.

"Answer me" a little moan leaves your lips as he presses himself closer, his lips devouring yours in a rough fashion. "You better talk when I tell you to. Thought you'd behave" his hand easily pulls up your knitted sweater, revealing no bra. "Damn brat. Of course you wanted this: wearin' nothing to the set and writing those scenes getting off to me like some fuckin' creep" you moan at the humiliating words coming out of his filthy mouth as he touches the rosy skin gently before giving your hardened nipple a lick and then a little bite just to hear you whine.

Dieter then grabs you by your thighs, placing you down on top of what appears to be a small kitchen's counter, his growing bulge pressed against your cunt: the hard, the cold meeting hot... it all has you incredibly turned on. You feel the cool of the rings on his hand as it starts to eagerly wander under your skirt, rubbing his middle finger in between your clothed folds.

"That's right, I wore this to have you" you moan against his lips as his fingers find your clit, making slow but steady circles, "because yes, I wrote those scenes thinking of you"

"What a bad bad girl" Dieter chuckles darkly, "wanna hear you take your well deserved punishment. And don't worry, we're far away so you can scream my name as loud as you need to, doll"

He wastes no time in giving you such, pulling down the hem of your panties until they fall down to the trailer's floor. Before him, the best sight ever revealed to men: your sticky mess of a pussy. Dieter grabs onto your thighs, spreading them slowly as he leaves a trail of kisses on the inside, his beard and fluffy hair creating tickles. He then licks the folds of your moisty entrance. When you move, you hear him tut. "Be a good girl, yeah? Stay still" and now his hands hold your thighs, keeping them in place as the rings fig in your skin. His tongue hits your sensitive folds just right, making a series of sounds leave your lips. So addicting, he thinks.

"I-I'll be a good girl" you whine, "just please. Don't stop"

Your toes curl and you begin to see stars. You're surprised he's quite compliant, adding extra pressure with his tongue, slurping on your juices with a sound so obscene, even your dirty horny mind hadn't been capable of picturing. But here he was, Dieter fucking Bravo: the reason you started writing steamy scenes and agreed to do them for this project he was starring in, him always in your mind, now eating your pussy like a starved man inside the walls of his trailer.

Your mind turns into goo and your body into a sensitive mess. Your legs start to shake, clench up and tremble, leaving you a moaning mess. You weren't going to pull away, and Dieter seemed to like that feisty side of yours, yet his hold didn't loose a bit. His index and middle finger leave your red clit and slide into your soaked nub, his thumb now doing the work on it.

"That's right, baby. Tell Dieter how much you love his fingers inside of you, you cock hungry slut"

You come all over his hand, legs tensing up as you tug his messy curls into your now tight-white fists.

"I said talk" he now grabs your hair, pulling your face closer. "Gonna be ungrateful, when I just gave you the best orgasm of your life? Say it, brat"

"Thank you, Mr. Bravo" you pant out, still recovering from the high.

That makes it two discoveries as of now:

You weren't wrong when you wrote those scenes picturing him

Dieter lived up to his reputation, because that is indeed, the best orgasm of your life

You won't stroke his ego, though. And he doesn't need it either, as he's calling you good girl while leaving love bites all over your neck. "Mine" he hisses, and you let yourself believe it for a while.

"We done, sweetheart?" you shake your head. "That's right, research has just began. Bet you want my rock hard dick inside of you now"

You whine, and he leans closer. "Why do I even ask? Gonna give you my cock for you to take like the little whore you are"

You slid your hand into his pair of briefs, giving his cock a few strokes.

"See? such a hungry girl" he seethes. "Who gave you permission, you fucking brat?"

A sting spreads across your bare clit, making you moan. That's not what you had in mind, but it's embarrassing how turned on it's making you. Well, you have some certainly interesting ideas for what to write next.

"Answer me" his tone is demanding, his large palm delivering another harsh slap to your cunt.

"N-no one"

"How do we say, then? Be a good girl and show me your manners"

"P-please!" you mewl, soon feeling his tongue soothing the pain.

"So you do know how to be a good girl" Dieter praises, pressing a light kiss to your puffy folds. "Now, where were we?"

He frees his pulsating member from the confines of the underwear, revealing his throbbing cock, ready to rub it against your folds. A little whine left your lips as he kept rocking his hips back and forth.

"Talking back to me before, where is that girl gone? All I see is a hungry slut, ready to take my cock like the little good girl she is"

Dieter pushes his tip further enough to be at the entrance of your burning hole, and you whine in frustration and need, that attitude he teases you with, long gone. All you want is him to fuck you.

"That's right, beg like the fucking whore you are"

"Just fill me up with your thick cum and fuck me until I won't be able to stand up"

"Dangerous game you playin', doll" but his expression is all hunger and no warning.

"Just fuck me" you spit. "I'm yours. Use me"

That seems to do the trick.

"Good girl" and Dieter fully pushes himself inside of you, he abuses your clit, entering him fully inside of you over and over again, not even giving you time to adjust to his girth; surprinsgly (or not), you liked it rough. His wet kisses become sloppier and rushed, landing on your lips, corners of your mouth, jaw and neck. A string of drool is on his as he pulls them out, rather prefering to hear the sounds you drowned against his lips on full volume. His hands grab you by your hips while his buck back a forth in a rough pace. Surpringsly, Dieter remembers his promise, your body caged by his bigger frame as he fucks you on the counter, feeling the swell of his belly against your lower abdomen. He pushes hard, his heavier weight making your back start to ache against the cold metal, the wall behind you digging painfully on your skin. But doesn't it feel so good?

"So fucking good" he groans, his forehead pressed against yours, breath coming in short, sharp gasps as he stares intensely into your eyes, "so tight"

You grab onto his back as he stretches you out, his pace speeding up. You moan against his ear as your nails dig further into his back with every thrust, saying his name. You come closer to your orgasm as he hits the right spot over and over again.

"Fuck... the way you beg for it, like a needy little slut. It's so fucking hot" Dieter wraps his hand around your throat, his thumb pressing lightly against your pulse point. "I'm going to ruin you, doll. Gonna fuck you so hard that you'll forget your own fucking name" his voice is a low, guttural growl, filled with a raw, animalistic desire. "All you'll know is the feeling of my cock splitting you open, claiming you"

His words and movements edge you close, sweat dripping and clinging uncomfortably to your skin due to the reduced space.

"I-I'm close again"

"But you better come with me, spoiled little girl. Ain't doin' it alone after all I've done for you" he groans, his thrusts becoming more and more aggressive.

Your walls clench against his soaked dick, his pace suddenly slowing as his cum fills your hole, coating your walls.

"F-fuck"

You try to even your breaths as he rests his head on your shoulder, bodies pressed together.

"So, was I of help?"

You chuckle at his attempt for small talk.

"You did good, Dieter. Mission accomplished"

"Right" he sounds a bit dissapointed, making the corners of your lips raise. "Well, If you ever need a helping hand" he wiggles his brows, "you know were to find me"

"I do" you press a brief kiss to his lips. "As a matter of fact, you can also tell me when you need my helping hand" said hand travels down, feeling his dick hard again. The sight alone makes you drool. "What'd you say, cowboy? Up for analyzing the collected data? We didn't even try with your nose"

"I knew it was mine!"

credits: divider @kodaswrld / gif @a7estrellas

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hey! So this isn't a particularly exciting ask or anything, but I'm sending it bc I literally do not know who irl I can talk to.

Basically, my boyfriend and I (both virgins) tried having sex for the first time tonight, and it pretty much didn't work. It was kind of horrible and awkward, which was expected, but really it just didn't get anywhere at all. First the condom broke when he tried to put it on, which freaked him out so he couldn't get hard again. And we didn't really know how to just /start/ so we tried just going for it, but he, like, couldn't get his dick into my vagina? Which I'm pretty sure is not a me thing because I've fingered myself before just fine.

Anyways, we kind of just called it quits after kissing for a while, and now I just don't really know what to make of the whole experience. I want to have sex but rn I'm not even really sure if I want to try again. It was just so mortifying and unfun. Do you have any advice whatsoever?

hi anon,

oh boy! here are a few crucial points that jump out to me:

if the condom is breaking just from trying to put it on, something is wrong. the condom might be too small, or it may have been expired (which can make it brittle), or it may have been stored in a space that was too hot or too cold and weakened the condom's integrity. your boyfriend's nails may have had sharp edges that damaged the condom. maybe he just did a spectacularly bad job putting it on! review the best way to put a condom on together for better results next time.

you boyfriend's penis being flaccid definitely wasn't helping to make penetration any easier! generally speaking, you're going to want the penis to be erect for that.

everyone has different preferences, of course, but it's often helpful to do literally anything else prior to putting something directly in the vagina. kissing, cuddling, touching each other's genitals with hands, mouths, or any other body part you desire, etc. particularly for vaginal penetration, giving yourself time is helpful: it gives the vagina time to lubricate as well as for the process of tenting, during which the cervix and uterus draw back to create more space in the vaginal canal. much in the same way that you (probably) can't just stick a finger into your vagina without any warning or lube and have an enjoyable sexual experience, you need time to get ready with a partner.

having said all of that: this was your first time doing this. very few people are great at things on their first try. the first time I tried rollerskating outside I fell over a million mortifying times where all my neighbors could see. the first time I tried to cook chicken flautas I accidentally smoked up my kitchen so badly that my housemates and I had to temporarily evacuate our home while it aired out. the only way you learn how to do things is by fucking them up a few times. that's the most normal thing in the entire world.

try again or wait a while, whatever you prefer, but know that you're not missing out on some secret hack to have Perfect Cool Guy Sex that everyone knows but you. the way that good sex happens, which to me just means mutually enjoyable and comfortable sex, is by understanding that sex is a fundamentally messy and silly endeavor and finding someone with whom you can laugh through the dumb shit.

[iz-star]

Lately I've seen ppl saying that Zayne is for the eldest children, the parentified siblings, the kids who grew up knowing that their role wasn't about being kids but about taking care of the younger siblings and then became quite individualistic ppl who is used to do things on their own, to attend their needs on their own and not to expect anyone to bring them any kind of care.

As a parentified child, I can't bring myself to express how much I agree with this. I'm not exactly the eldest child, I'm the middle one, however, I'm the only girl, my older brother moved in with my father when we were young while I stayed with my mom, so the role to take care of my lil brother passed onto me while my brother, being the only child in my dad's home, grew up being spoiled and my lil brother, being the baby in my mom's house, grew up being spoiled. Needless to say again that, I'm the only girl and just bc of that I was the one who was always expected to learn how to take care of others, to learn how to cook, keep the house clean, learn what to do when my brothers were sick, and always was the one ppl acussed my lil brother with when he misbehaved.

If you notice, Zayne quite literally does all of that for you. In his most recent call he was offering MC to clean her house while she sleeps, since he likes to keep things tidied up and loves to help her and take care of her any chance he has (he knew she was tired from work). He also likes to cook for her, literally told her to look for some videogames to play together while he cooked dinner in his Doomsday card (and this is just one example), and of course he'd know what to do with you if you ever get sick, he's a Doctor! He's literally the only one out of the four guys who did his research about periods when he discovers how bad your cramps get, needless to say again that he is a Doctor (not to diminish the effort of the other guys cause they all were really lovely and they also did a quick research to try to help but let's accept that Zayne's career gives him advantage)

This made me come to the realization that Zayne not only is a caregiver but he (oh so perfectly) takes on the role that has always been forcefully given to women and he's not any less man for that, I'd say it's totally the opposite, it makes him look even more manly bc you know he can take care of himself just as well as any fuctional adult, while irl we women expect men to be kinda useless at housework bc they're not socialized into those roles.

(NOT saying that all men are useless at doing house chores like cooking or cleaning but stating that women have to expect that any man you meet might be)

Of course all of the guys are perfect functional adults who can take care of themselves and take care of you, whatever you need they would bring it to you or do it for you and if they don't know how to do it, they'd figure it out, they all only crave to have a soft, lovely domestic life with you and take care of you (Zayne's Doomsday card, Xavier's 21 days card, Sylus myth, etc)

However, we can't deny that the role of caregiver has always resonated more with Zayne and that is bc... he was also a mature child.

He wasn't exactly a parentified sibling, but for eldest parentified kids, to act more mature than they're expected to be comes with the role. Zayne was a quiet child and his parents were Doctors, if he's already quite busy with the job you can imagine how much time his parents dedicated to him, he probably learned to be self-sufficient at a pretty young age bc his parents were busy, he also understood how important was their job and has stated how inspiring it was to him, which probably gave him this need to learn how to take care of others and himself, before allowing adults to take care of him. The narrative might be a bit different but the main point still stands, he grew up thinking that he needed to take care of others and handle himself -his physical and emotional needs- on his own. He's also a quite individualistc person and as any mature kid, didn't have a healthy development and growth, jumping to adulthood too quickly that his childhood is missed and with it, his social skills are cut off in half.

That's the initial phase of his character development: when he starts to get into what he's missed. Ever since I started to play the game, Zayne never gave me the vibes of a cold or emotionally constipated man, totally the opposite, when I picked up on his demeanor, he gave me this feeling that he was one of those characters that feels too much and too deeply, they just don't show it, why? Because they are not used to show their emotions and have never done it, literally don't know how to loosen up or don't even know that they have to do it.

Remember that anecdote where he tried to joke with his interns while in the middle of a surgery and they all got scared of him, misunderstanding his joke for a reprimand. No wonder why Zayne got along better with the old man who didn't want to take his meds. When I started to interact with him, he didn't come across as cold to me at all, stoic is a good way to describe his personality but not to describe the issue. Zayne's behaviour was never cold, he was stiff.

You can tell that at first there were a lot of misunderstandings between him and MC and the way he shows how much he cares that she missed. Parentified children know that the best way of showing affection is through actions. We are forced to mature too quick that we end up missing the phase where we develop our social skills, that's why for us actions are better than words. That's also why Zayne admits that he was never good at words.

(Of course I also have the headcanon that he's autistic, but that's a topic for another day).

Entering in a romantic relationship, even tho actions are always a good way to show affection, communication is key if you want for it to work and that's a development we can see with Zayne and MC through his cards. Like, in the case of the ENG va, I've seen a lot of ppl saying that Zayne's voice in his early cards sounds too robotic and while I agree that it can be bc the VA was starting to get into the role, it could also be bc the more he learns to communicate, the less stiff and robotic he sounds. Not only the tone of his voice or locution but also the words he uses to express himself and his feelings. Before, whenever he wanted to state if he missed MC or how important she was for him, he would talk of her in third person (he still does it sometimes bc he seems to love role play lol) but for important things, he's learned to be more straightforward ("You occupied my every thought" "I need you, I have never denied that" "You're not allowed to go without saying goodbye" "There's a lot of things I want to give you but I only have a piece of jade" "We should watch the moon together, my love"). At learning to show his feelings not only by actions but verbally as well, he allowed himself to go back to that phase where the development of his social skills stayed in pause. That's why the more he's developed this side of him, he's also allowed himself to become childish from time to time, bc a childhood where we are allowed to be kids is important in order for us to grow into ourselves. Zayne, alongside smart kids, mature kids, eldest parentified children missed part of this phase and of course it does have consecuences in our adulthood.

That is why, in part, for me Zayne feels so healing. He would take care of you, of course he would without you having to ask it of him but he also wants to be taken care of, even if he won't admit it openly. You can tell how guilty he felt when he told MC that she went through a lot of planning in order to prepare his birthday party while he didn't do anything and how she picked on it to the point to have to clarify that he should let ppl to take care of him too and after hearing that, the first thing he did was to ask her to feed him cake. In the Misty Invasion event, when he and MC are in the escape room and he keeps on falling bc of his shoes, he allows himself to get a bit playful and asks MC "you'll help me, right?" while tugging her sleve trying to act cute. In his Doomsday card, he did a biiit of a tantrum when MC didn't allow him to get his biscuits (and he got them anyway ahaha). He's starting to showcase all those childish traits he didn't allow himself to show when he was a kid because his relationship with MC has turned into a safe place to do so and of course he wants her to do it too. That's why in his last 4 stars card "Dream revisited" he talks about the importance of indulging in our childish side and how part of it is to be honest with your feelings without worrying about what others might tell.

To see him loosen up heals that part of me that was still recovering of the things I had to put up in my childhood. My personality is definitely not like Zayne's, like at all, but to see his writing is something I can relate to and how his development is about healing this neglected part of him feels so therapeutic. To think that he'd be the kind of man who understands how much you need to be taken care of and would do it for you happily while you are on the same side of the coin and would happily take care of him too but not this time bc it's what it's expected of you or bc he's useless at certain things, but because he needs it too but won't ask for it even tho he's earned it too, because you understand part of the loneliness that comes with being a caregiver but never the one who is in the reciving end. Zayne knows of your capabilities and knows that you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself but he also knows the comforting and healing feeling that comes with someone who tells you "I know you can do it but let me do it for you". Because he has always been perfectly capable of taking care of himself but who has told him the same words? Who has offered to take care of him? To accept someone taking care of you is to accept to be loved. To understand that to love is to take care of your loved person is to understand one of the many missions of what to love is. And believe me, he's pretty smart that I'm sure he's already picked on that.

To create a safe space to not to be perfect is what a relationship is about. That's why he indulges MC a lot, let's her sleep while he's willing to stay up late to buy tickets for their new travel, he would indulge into waking up late with her just to cuddle and take things slowly. To be childish because when we are children is when we are at our most vulnerable and we must be taken care of, to be an adult is not to get rid off of this need but to understand how important it still is.

Gods, I love Zayne so much.

[verstappentime]

i posted about this before, but let me (as a journalist irl) elaborate what's likely going on with daniel!!

when no one asked dan about his future during press day last week, we all automatically recognized this was probably the result of an embargo (we have quite a few f1 fans in the newsroom). stranger still that christian horner was in the TP conference and didn't speak on it either. we had expected that combo to make a sort of joint announcement.

so what's an embargo/how does it work?

essentially, it's when a source gives you any information ahead of time, but requests you do not publish anything on it until a certain date and time. this can be done for a lot of reasons. embargoes usually request that you refrain from sharing information from a press release or document.

usually embargoes are put in place so essentially you keep to your time table of when the information becomes "public," but news outlets aren't left scrambling because they have already written their story and have it ready to go live as soon as it's acceptable. in the case of f1 this also applies to instagram posts and things like that. that's why you'll often see the posts go live straight away when an announcement is made; everything's pre-confirmed & pre-written, they're just waiting for the green light.

if you violate an embargo in sports journalism, you'll likely have your credentials to, say, get into the press pen revoked. you/your outlet will no longer receive any privileged information. and you'll likely be asked to take it down. not for any legal reason -- you're just burning a bridge and violating trust. so this info COULD be leaked, but under the honor system, it rarely is. (especially bc if you post embargoed info & ruin your org's reputation with the source, you're probably losing your job.)

so what's going on in DR's case?

most likely, all credible sources have either A) been given the information under an embargo, or B) been told the time they can expect an embargoed press release. (i work with law enforcement, so for me this is usually just something like "you can expect the records to be sent out before dinner time friday night but it will be embargoed till 9 a.m. when they're officially public record.")

either way, everyone has probably been warned off asking those questions, but they also likely already know the answer. whatever they received, even if it doesn't reveal all the cards, most likely said daniel would not answer questions prior to the official release time and essentially, don't bother.

what's up with all the rumors?

essentially, when every credible source has their hands tied, there's no one to counter all the randoms. we see it all the time -- people yapping trading theories when we actually know what happened and can't say. unfortunately in f1 some of the randoms have some sort of name recognition -- and for some reason there are like 500 completely not credible news outlets full of untrue shit. so right now, they are the only people 1) free to bang on with theories and 2) who dont either have the info or know when the info is coming available. so that's allowing them to take up all the space.

conclusion: this isn't necessarily good or bad, but explains why we're hearing so many irrelevant people's opinions on this and not hearing anything from VCARB, daniel or his team. it was most likely done to give preferred sources the jump on announcing the news, but also to allow daniel to focus.

i'm assuming the embargo will be lifted monday morning european time, but we may hear a vague denial this weekend as theres probably some building frustration (like daniel saying yeah you'll see me in COTA or whatever).

[ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa]

Alternative ch4 Miu freezes Kokichi, but doesn't finish the job

Sayakxami: Do you ever wonder what would've happened if Miu went with her plan but it went wrong? As in, not like in canon, but, like, she paralyzes Kokichi, hits him & panics & leaves him like that? He's hurt & completely paralyzed, he can't do anything, not even call out for help Were they able to feel the cold in the VR? Ok in this AU they can So he's also cold af No one really pays much attention to him… not being there How long till paralysis wears off? Does it ever? He's cold and hurt and scared, and utterly hopeless. And others are busy with other things, like searching for the motive It's actually nice & quiet for once Tho Miu's behavior is a bit weird, but whatever Nobody thinks to check the roof & nobody feels like searching for him in general They assume he got bored & logged out And if not, he probably will, so it's fine They're out, and he's still there in the VR. Fine. Why not. Have fun, weirdo. They check the screens & he's just lying on the roof Shuichi remembers his prank in the last investigation & he assumes it's the same

me: okay, but, that means that she logged out Kaito, as in canon, wouldn't they get worried about Kaito? who was supposed to be on the roof?

Sayakxami: Eh, assume they didnt for some reason Maybe they cant enter the roof & get no answer when they call & assume ok Kaito isnt there he wouldve answered otherwise Anyway, back to Kokichi They agree to leave the program open, bc, again, he'll get bored eventually. Nothing worse than unnoticed prank, right? Miu stays for a bit to erase the data abt the changes she made. (Kokichi probably fainted by then tbh) And they return after some time & he's… still there. Still in the same position. Man, if only he was this dedicated to ending the game But Shuichi does notice that something is off abt his real body And since in VR Kokichi is freezing, his real body reacts accordingly, by trying to warm him up He's shivering & sweating, bc his body's trying to raise the temperature - which it doesnt truly need, so he ends up just running a fever And thaats when ppl start to freak out. They entertain the idea of Kokichi tricking them, but, hell, better to just make sure he's alive than try to hold another trial & send another one of their friends to death Well, the try to get to him, but the door is locked & they're trying to figure out how to get in. Gonta & Maki can't help, bc they have strength on the same level as everybody else Kokichi doesn't respond, so it's a mix of annoyance and maybe slight worry, but he's not dead yet, the body discovery wouldve played, right? They get in eventually & Kokichi is completely unresponsive. They try to wake him up, but there's nothing. They get him out of the game & then leave themselves Irl Kokichi is as unresponsive as he was in the VR, but his face is twisted in a grimace. He… doesn't seem to be doing all that great. It kinda fucks with Shuichi that Kokichi genuinely needed help again, and he just assumed it was a prank & ignored him again They all do feel bad (aside from Maki, probably, and Miu is going through her own stuff) for leaving him like that for so long, but most start to justify themselves - if Kokichi wasn't such a liar and such an awful person, they would've taken it seriously & helped him quickly Oooor Bad end scenario They didn't get back fast enough (or for some reason assumed even tho he was shivering & sweating, he was still just trying to prank them - after ignoring him when he had literal blood on his face, stuttered & couldnt walk straight, I wouldnt be surprised), and he ends up dying And during the trial they have to confront the fact that not only Miu left him for dead and unable to even ask for help, but also that they couldnt be bothered to check on him. It took him hours to actually die. They couldve prevented them very easily, its just that nobody cared enough to try to I imagine Shuichi went to his room during the investigation & saw the board, which included thr comment abt Miu trying to kill him. Kokichi not only allowed himself to be killed, he also left the notes for Shuichi to be able to solve this murder

me: consider though, an alternate scenario, Miu really doesn't want anyone to find out about her fuck up, is a huge mess and doesn't even know if she's more ashamed of not having the guts to finish the job or of trying to kill someone, and maybe, maybe she could try again later? if he pissed her off in some way it could give her that push? or maybe she will give in to the guilt when the adrenaline cools down and want to make up for what she did any way she can? so first she's got to salvage this situation She raises alarm and "evacuates" them from the program and jumps to the computer because of "an error", yes, she deletes records of some of her previous modifications, but she also [2x fire emoji] deletes Kokichi's memories [guitar emoji] before logging him out and she's like "I saved him, but he probably won't remember the virtual world. Because of the error, like Gonta" and they're like, that makes sense, but she actually messed with memories more than that, basically a reset of all modifications, so he's either back to pre-game or the first day of the kg or maybe just to the last flashback light he saw (and maybe seeing the truth of the outside world alone counts?), take your pick but everyone thinks he's just making a bit out of exaggerating the amnesiac thing, except for Miu, who's now sympathetic and interested in studying that, and she feels responsible… and it's partly true that in some sick, twisted way she wants to feel like she's making up for it, she's helping him, she made things better this way actually! but then there's this even more twisted part that thinks that if she keeps him close it'll be easier to monitor if he's catching on, if she needs to get rid of him after all, it'll be easier to find an excuse to go through with it this time, the time is ticking, she should be outside, they never found the secret, except for Kokichi, but he doesn't remember… and that paranoia keeps eating away at her

Sayakxami: Kokichi would absolutely lose it tho Good thing he has his notes, but boy is that not helping his paranoia what the fuck do you mean seven people died hes trying to keep it cool but hes absolutely losing his marbles and feeling like shit what do you mean I LET seven people die

Ves: God the thought of her breaking down and thinking he's lying is. Haunting

me: well, why wouldn't he be lying? she's lying. and he probably can tell she is. he's always lied too.

Sayakxami: and, well, he can tell she's lying about something And the fact that hmm she's the one who prepared this VR and she's the one to explain to others what happened, and also she "tried" to help him while they were there Bro is definitely finding it all sus as hell And if we go with him actually writing down somewhere that Miu is (was?) trying to kill him? Actually I can see him lying that he does remember everything now Mostly bc he's panicking internally that he doesn't. All he has are his notes And if he remembers nothing, wouldn't that make him an easy target? And out of every-fucking-thing, what Kokichi finds in his room is "trustworthy?" near Shuichi's picture There's a question mark there, but still, he came close (by Kokichi's standards) to trusting this guy. He needs to know more about him. Reverse FTE, Kokichi is the one who seeks Shuichi, but makes it into "accidents". Oh, you have free time right now? What a coincidence, so do I! Entertain me, peasant We're assuming Shuichi did Kokichi's FTEs, so while he might not fully predict Kokichi, it's close enough. It definitely unnerves Kokichi, he doesn't want to bore Saihara-chan : ( but for Shuichi it makes him suspect Kokichi might really not have his memories back. He sounds a bit more chill, too. Like at the very beginning of the game. He's still a menace, but more in an annoying/prankster kinda way. Actually, he can be funny at times. Now that Shuichi knows Kokichi doesn't actually want to kill him, he has more fun during their games. They're far less frustrating, and they do kill some time and… oh. He starts to wonder… maybe Kokichi just wanted to spend time with him. Most people try to avoid him, so it'd make sense that he's latch onto the one person who gives him a chance. I'm weak for Shuichi realizing Kokichi just wanted to spend more time with him And also now that he pays attention, he notices that Kokichi seems to brighten up a little when they play. It makes him feel like shit, tbh. It took Kokichi getting hurt and losing his memory for Shuichi to start seeing him more like a person than a puzzle he doesn't have the energy for. ….Kokichi doesn't remember Maki's an assassin Would the cast just admit yeah she's an assassin, or would they try to hide it from him? Social experiment, they try to keep it a secret Turns out Kokichi actually pesters her more when he doesn't know

me: wouldn't that show up in the handbook info? or be in his notes? I think he had her marked as sus on the whiteboard he doesn't remember being attacked by her though and she's changed from the beginning

Sayakxami: Would be funny if it didnt show in the handbooks That's actually neat Kokichi's actually… well, not nicer, but still more normal Kokichi asshole level, bc he doesn't remember being chocked by her

me: she was stand-offish and immediately suspicious to him, but now she's semi-integrated, almost always seen around Kaito, half-smiles, the "always glares and sits alone" note doesn't apply and he doesn't know what changed

Sayakxami: Why is there an effigy of a dead guy on his ceiling

me: he probably didn't note down everything, it wasn't with the situation he's in in mind, there are some early observations about others, but later he focuses on things important to the game like motives, flashbacks, he would take note of her talent at some point, but it's not a diary, and like, if he was paging through it at a speed to get the general idea, he might miss it, he's catching up on the portions that have to do with deaths asap

[hollowed-theory-hall]

i don't remember in which book, but there is an episode where Narcissa takes Draco away from a clothing store (Madame Malkin, I think) because they cater to muggleborns. i understand it was a political statement...

but with that in mind, question is: how far is pureblood bigotry actually goes?

are there shops exclusively for purebloods and we just don't know about them bc harry didn't go there, or were they decades ago... do purebloods buy products invented by blood traitors like the Potters and Weasleys? after all, they are good quality, but it is not good to give money to dirt yk. at the same time, most shops probably fall away from public bigotry bc even if they are run by purebloods who believe in pureblood supremacy, they will still serve everyone, because money in the first place.

this is an interesting topic for research, in my opinion, and very comparable to reality

Like, my immediate answer was: Very far.

I mean, once the most blood purists of their society gain control of the ministry they are literally rounding up muggleborns to be sent to Azkaban.

That being said, casual blood purity, like you mention, seems to not go as deep as Narcissa would like you to believe. Like, we see Draco using Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder in book 6, which was invented and only sold by Fred and George. I think, like with a lot of irl bigotry, it's a lot of performance.

Like, blood purists would talk a lot about not buying from filth and mudbloods, but if a blood traitor has a good idea or a good product — they don't put their money where their mouth is. They'd buy from blood traitors and muggleborns if it's the better product. They do copy ideas from the muggles. Like, I'm sure blood purists who have access to the Floo ridicule the concept of the Hogwarts Express and the Knight Bus, thinking of them as filthy muggle inventions; but I'm certain they were all too glad to bring indoor plumbing into Hogwarts and their mansions because it's an invention they liked.

We also see a dark pureblood store like Borgins & Burkes hire filthy, poor, orphan Tom Riddle. He was good at his job, he probably wasn't paid a lot, and so it didn't matter his blood purist employers/customers thought he was a mudblood and filth if he was good at what he did. They'd hire, buy and sell to muggleborns and blood traitors if there is money on the line.

We see this attitude with Slughorn as well. He's surprised by Hermione and Lily being muggleborns and exceptional witches and potion makers because he doesn't expect it (the bigotry of low expectations, which we also see irl). But, he does invite them into the Slug Club and he expects them to then be able to get into positions they usually can't because he basically vetted them as 'talented filth'. They're okay and good to hire by purebloods because they're good at what they do. Now, I don't think Slughorn is a bad person, and he's actually doing a very useful service for talented muggleborns in the bigoted society they live in by opening doors for them, but I digress.

I think it's telling that an ancestral house of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, the "always pure", is a muggle house. Grimmauld Place is a house built by muggles, for muggles, that the Blacks decided to have as their own. They have muggle plumbing, muggle baths, muggle toilets, and muggle wallpaper, and they like it. but if you asked them, they'd call their house a "wizarding home", even if every brick was put in its place by muggles without a drop of magic.

We are told by Pottermore a good chunk of the Malfoys' inherited wealth is muggle. Their manor is also, most likely, muggle-built. They live their pureblood lifestyle, thinking themselves oh so much better than blood traitors when the food on their table was put there by muggle money. That the reason they can act the way they do, that they have more money than the Weasleys — is because their ancestors made business deals with muggles. And they know it but choose to pretend to have forgotten.

The point is, yes, blood purists would talk all day about how they want no filth in their house and how everything muggle is lesser, but when muggles/muggleborns/blood traitors have something good going, when they have a good product or are themselves talented, they'd be blind to their filthy blood for the sake of money/good idea. They'd tell themselves whatever lies they needed to tell themselves to believe they weren't blood traitors for installing a toilet. That they're not supporting muggle ideas by living off of muggle instructors.

They're bigoted hypocrites is what I'm saying.

[hatchetmanofficial]

ok. hear me out. alan's life is the funniest fucking thing, even if we're just looking at part of it - and today that part is probably how he got his job

since Alan likely hadn't known of supernatural shit before he decided to isolate in the woods, he was probably spooked a good few times or whatever

like, just imagine, this canadian dude is just sitting outside in the grass while looking at isopods and 'lil caterpillars, while also eating an ice cream sandwich, when, suddenly, standing right in front of him is carver's goofy-ah self being like "would you like a cup of tea and a glass of crackheadery, this fine evening, sir?" before punching him in the fucking face and dragging him out to hell

then, alan just has to have an existential crisis while trying to fight some british bitch with them 1-2-buckle-my-shoe sneakers who looks like the 17YO bad boy intern at the office in some who gets to fuck around and do whatever BC his dad's the CEO or whatever and BC it's a shitty YA book with no logic

and this is just how alan learns about the natural ecosystem of american fuckery before being handed a gun and told to go off someone or get ripped apart bone by bone BC, well, why not? and he just goes along with it, at first, out of pure fear; who wouldn't be scared of this kinda shit?

i mean, me, personally? if i saw the boss, i'd wanna tuck tail and head hell outta dodge; you don't fuck around in anywhere of america without losing a few fingers, or a whole limb; i'd sure as hell know from expirience (i'd put the shrugging emoji, but i can't even physically shrug anymore IRL, so, what's the point?)

TL;DR, alan's life sucks and i think about it...a lot...i guess

anyways, sorry if this makes no sense; i'm having citalopram withdrawals RN LOL

this is the funniest shit i've read

[thedarkmongoose]

SPOILERS: i have mixed feelings about the bear s3 but knowing that s3 & s4 were written/filmed at the same time makes sense. s4 will prob answer s3's q's. (A LOT was left open-ended) usually i love that, but it felt like the show lost itself in certain places, esp the self-indulgent finale. all stories are indulgent to some degree, but too much decadence rarely leaves room for substance.

and i get why they tried to do the chef's table thing, but other than andrea, syd, and luca, everyone else's acting was disjointed and trite. but i loved ep 1; it was an ethereal, artsy, meditative piece (peace) that was necessary after the chaotic s2 finale. however, as a big fan of the show, it was hard for me to finish the eps.

the standout in s3 FOR SURE was tina's ep - directed by ayo. glad we got her backstory. personally i liked her anxiety-inducing job hunt bc it's really like that irl, esp for older woc. the sobbing while eating a free sandwich was relatable, and the mikey convo was super impactful. but as much as i loved the ep, it still felt superficial compared to s2 'forks' (richie) or 'honeydew' (marcus). we never see her son again either; all we get is tina yelling at him to quiet down.

then there was marcus's mother's funeral which seemed like it was going to be more central to the plot than it was. i wish we got more. and claire is still one of the most underwritten characters EVER. nothing about her or the mis en scène really sells it that she's a doctor lol. and the scene with the faks trying to apologize on carmy's behalf was beyond cringe. i like matty matheson - i have his cookbook, but there was entirely too many faks in s3.

and let's be real: where was ebra & sweeps? ebra has such an interesting story that i'm HOPING we get to see in s4. sweeps too - he tried out for the chicago cubs! but on a positive note, i loved the chemistry between syd/luca. it was v sweet and organic. wonder if they'll be a thing in s4 since luca is carmy's foil. too bad marcus was barely in s3, tho the hug between him & luca at the party was cute. syd's meltdown mirroring carmy's in s2 was also a nice touch.

idk how to feel about sugar's labor scene. most praise it, but it didn't hit the same for me. donna's over-acting (the whole series) is really distracting and i can't take her seriously. ik she's supposed to be mentally unwell, but it borders on cartoonish. the hospital moment was heartwarming, but again, artificially. and pete was so underwritten too, just so they could have that mom moment. i liked the scene with him and syd tho. it felt authentically awkward.

i also understand what they were trying to do with the finale, but it was a flop for me. the scene with andrea/carmy staring out into the chicago night was introspective and beautiful, but the msg doesn't hit all the way bc we have a group of wealthy celeb chefs saying it's okay to stop while you're ahead and enjoy life while you can. every second counts. unfortunately for those who are not celeb chefs, it's not that easy to simply "enjoy life."

on one hand, i agree that food is life and restaurants have been community "third places" forever (essential to life itself; historically, like when revolutionaries would gather at pubs or cafes). however, do i think that fine dining and the "art" that comes with it is necessary? no. if there were more spots like the original beef/bear in the world tho, that would be a good thing.

[demi-tri]

I was curious about your opinion on dr. Evel for the ask thing

I am just now answering this bc I was too preoccupied with Tetro Danganronpa Pink (amazing fangan btw, really recommend) BUT YES FINALLY A CHARACTER FROM TURBO, LET ME GO INSANE RQ

General opinion: Like literally everything else Turbo related, Iove him and I approve (especially since he's a part of Dead Gran), tho he still has that unused potential due to low screentime sadly

One thing that kinda sticks out to me about him, but I don't see the fandom talk about much is how he immediately started working for Phi after he defeated Hyde, and bro did NOT feel guilty about it at all, in fact mf was excited, which, yk, is pretty weird considering the fact that this entire time we knew him as Hyde's right hand man, idfk how I'd be able to explain it other then, since Phi and Hyde made a deal that whoever wins gets to be the big boss of the Dread Tower that included Evel being the winner's lead bey scientist or smtg and Evel was cool with it bc he gets to work with the stronger blader either way

Which brings me to few other points like, how long has he been working for Hyde? Why does he work specifically for Hyde? Is it just bc Hyde lets him use the lab for his experiments or is it smtg else? Is it possible he used to work for Phi at first? How familiar is Evel with Phi's and Hyde's relationship (judging by his expression at the 2 arguing I don't think this is the first time he saw them acting like...that)

My best bet is that Evel probably works for their family as a whole rather than working for just one of the twins, but even then I still wonder as to why he's even working for them in the first place but eh, guess we'll never know

Him being the evil scientist of the season (and his name being literally one letter away from the word "evil", which is goofy as hell, seriously who thought of that) makes me believe he DOES have some kind of ulterior motive (which is probably just him wanting to make the strongest bey in the world but that's ofc, not enough for me so I'm still gonna question WHY) but even then....smtg tells me dude just likes working with beys

Like I have no legitimate proof for this, it's just whenever I'm watching the episode that includes him working with beys or talking about them, I get this feeling that the guy genuinely loves his job and that makes me kinda happy ngl (the fact he purposely made that whole "fused bey" mechanic just so that Nightfell could solve it probably supports this, I'm pretty sure Hyde never told him to do that and he just did it bc he wanted to)

Tho I gotta say, even tho I suprisingly don't know jackshit about the beys themselves and what makes an actually good bey (yes, as a lifelong Beyblade fan, I have never picked up a bey in my life)

What the fuck is this

Seriously just, how did he even THINK of whatever Orb Engard is

AND MF IS SO PROUD OF IT TOO, LIKE IK IN THE SHOW ORB ENGARD ISN'T AS BAD OF A BEY AS IT IS IRL BUT STILL, WHAT ARE YOU SO PROUD OF FOR, "my masterpiece" MY ASS 😭😭

I also love shitting on him LMFAO, making fun of Evel was PEAK COMEDY for me and my friends especially in 2023, I have screenshots but I'm too lazy to look for them

And fun fact, his birthday is a day before mine ‼️‼️

Opinions on his design: Ohhhh buddy......

Listen, he's generally nice to look at, especially his face, ESPECIALLY his eyes, I love this mf's eyes you don't understand, and his fit is pretty standard for a scientist type of character so I don't have much to say about it

His hair tho.....same question as I have for Orb Engard, what the fuck is that???

Whoever is responsible for that hairstyle, I need to have a serious conversation with you my guy, just WHAT was the thought process behind....that

I CAN'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT IT COULD POSSIBLY REPRESENT, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DESCRIBE IT GENUINELY WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING 😭????

His hair was actually the main reason why me and my friends made him a punching bag in the first place, I still believe he deserves to be bullied for it more than Ranjiro idc

Favorite headcanon: I have too many bro....

Suprising to everyone, actually really likes chocolate, can eat chocolate with literally anything, and I mean, ANYTHING (I generally have a headcanon that all of Dead Gran have weird ass food taste)

I have seen a post here on Tumblr talking about Evel's and Kyle's potential relationship, I don't remember the user but long story short, they proposed the idea of Evel not liking the idea of getting attached to ppl and like....idk I started considering it canon ever since, idk why I just can see it (and also kinda related to that same post, I like to think Kyle actually works for Evel and not Hyde, like he still admires Hyde a lot but if Evel stopped working for him then Kyle would stop working for him as well yk)

And ofc, I have to mention the trio I thought of with Evel, Kyle and Nightfell (that I simply like to call Dead Gran trio bc I have no better name ideas), till this day I'm so upset they have 0 interactions, THEY WOULD BE SO FUNNY GUYS PLEASE JUST HEAR ME OUT

Also idk if this counts as headcanon but I'd like if Evel showed any signs of annoyance towards Hyde, he doesn't necessarily dislike him but one scene of Hyde being extra and Evel secretly going "Oh dear lord, not this again" would be funny LMAO

Favorite ship: Honestly...none, I don't like the idea of shipping any of the Dead Gran guys, they're all evil stereotypes of aroace ppl to me (bc I am aroace and I wanna live in a cool ass gothic tower in the middle of nowhere)/hj

On a serious note, if I HAD to choose one ship, Evel x Nightfell is kinda cool

Ofc the guy doesn't have any gifs, have this screenshots

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

im a trans boy who has grown up with very oppressive religious parents so ive never gotten the chance to experiment sexually or romantically with peers irl, im about to move to the city for college in the fall

(i will be living on campus with two roommates who i haven't met yet and i know basically nothing about, one of them i will be sharing a bunk bed with)

im really nervous about how im gonna do socially.. ive had a really hard time making and maintaining irl friends for like my entire life, which has been really upsetting for me obviously.

being able to experiment sexually is something im really wanting to do and im really really nervous about it, i know that the most straightforward advice is just "talk about it to people you wanna do sex stuff with" but like everything is new to me i havent had the chance to really socialize irl up until this point and now im being shoved into a group of other young adults who all have the prior experience of being well socialized and having complex interpersonal relationships with peers

i also feel extremely insecure about my lack of experience, like is it actually normal for someone my age to have never had a romantic or sexual encounter? are the things ive discovered and assumptions ive made about myself sexually through masturbating wrong?? i can't watch porn bc looking at strangers having sex grosses me out!! im pretty sure my front hole is like unnaturally tight?? anything wider than two of my fingers is uncomfortable and no matter how much prep and easing myself into it i do, it stays that way.. and i think my cervix is also lower than most, about 3-4 inches is the maximum that i can insert before i can feel it bump my cervix (which hurts REALLY BAD)

im just so nervous and scared about my own body and personality and all that andi don't know where to look for resources or reassurance. ive never been to the doctor for any kind of reproductive care and im really scared to!!! i live in a state that has completely outlawed abortion rights and im really scared that if i go to planned parenthood or something to get like a checkup that they will be mean and not gentle with me

i don't know, i guess im just looking to be heard and hopefully pointed towards some resources if anyone has any, thank you for the work you do and thank you for taking the time to read my panicked ramblings

hi anon,

there's a lot happening here so I'm just doing a numbered list

1.) man, how did the third guy luck out and avoid the bunk bed? you don't have to answer that, I'm just curious how you guys have already worked out that two of you are stuck with the bunk beds. unless you're into bunk beds (I was), in which case mazel tov.

2.) in the nicest way possible, I think you may be vastly overestimating how "well socialized" other students are going to be. reading between the lines a bit, it sounds like you were maybe home schooled, or at least don't have very much experience mingling with other people your age without adult supervision. I guarantee you every public school in the world is also full of introverted freak losers who rock up to college with no idea of what they're doing; I was one of them. the majority of first year college students are also running around panicking and trying to figure out how to be away from their parents for the first time; everyone is a loser and no one is cool.

would it comfort you at all to know that my day job is organizing events at my office's LGBT student resource center? I spend a lot of time hanging out with queer first year students, and I love them dearly, and they're all cringefail losers. it's unavoidable. every 18 year old is a cringefail loser. every single person on Earth looks back at their 18 year old self and goes "goddamn, what a cringefail loser." and it's fine! it's so normal! that's the entire point of your first year of college! you try things and you're socially awkward and you meet some of the most important people you will ever meet and you meet people whose opinions about you won't matter literally at all and you'll completely change how you think about everything for the rest of your life and you'll think you're going to die and everything will be fine!!!!

anyway moving on

3.) it's normal for anyone at any age to have never had a romantic or sexual encounter. I'm assuming you value my insight at least a little, since you sent this, so would it help you to know that I arrived at college as virginal as could be (wildly insecure about it, btw) and didn't have sex for the first time until I was almost 21? would it comfort you to hear from my housemate, also transmasculine, who gave me permission to share that they've never had sex and that none of their life problems really have anything to do with being a virgin?

4.) "are the things ive discovered and assumptions ive made about myself sexually through masturbating wrong??" hard to say, since I don't know what those things are, but probably not. it's extremely hard to get masturbating wrong, no one knows what feels good to you better than you. you're sort of an authority here. masturbating isn't exactly like partnered sex, of course, but it's a really good place to start learning about things that you like and make you feel good.

5.) everything you're describing about your front hole sounds very typical. two fingers is the max number of comfortable fingers for a lot of people, regardless of experience; often, taking something larger doesn't become easier until after having penetrative sex with a partner. average vaginal depth is about 3.6 inches, and while that can increase significantly with arousal, it's something that doesn't generally happen if you're not relaxed during sex. if I can be a bit presumptuous, it sounds like sex and masturbation are maybe a bit anxiety-inducing for you, in a way that is pretty much perfectly contradictory to comfortable penetration. if I can offer you some advice I wish I could give my younger self: calm the fuck down, buy some lube, stop worrying so much about making your body react the way you think it should and learn to appreciate what it's actually doing, and maybe see if your campus has some free therapy options available. anxiety meds probably wouldn't hurt this situation. also stop hitting your cervix if that hurts oh my god.

6.) Planned Parenthood is generally one of the best places to go if you're nervous; they're aggressively queer friendly and tend to be extremely accommodating of patients' needs. I personally do not care for penetration at all and have a difficult time with Pap smears, and every examiner I've ever had at PP has been an angel about letting me take breaks and swear my way through it. it ain't fun, but if you want to have an adventurous sex life you need to take care of the health of yourself and your prospective partners by getting STI tests and Pap smears.

you're so normal, calm down, I love you

[streamdotpng]

tell more about this new streamer au u've mentioned bc im very interested

So it starts with an game

You can vc and shit this game too and it was very very popular. You could choose whether to be a normie or an outcast, there were several jobs that one can take and quests with challenges.

Overall a really fun game bc you can either play with friends and build a land with them or play solo and try to complete everything

Think of uh, genshin! But you can customize and level up your character + it being constantly multi-player unless you go to your own private land that you can buy or get from quests

you can also unlock elusive powers as an outcast if you complete certain quests as well.

It was called, Jericho Online bc I can't think of a better name rn 😅

So it starts with Pugsley who starts badgering to thirteen year old Wednesday to join him in playing the game

Wednesday joins begrudingly, tired of all his incessant whining and also because the words of player killing caught her attention

Enid, whos been playing with pugsley is interested immedietely when the two log in. Going !? And circling the newcomer

Wednesday immedietely plays chase and that's the start of a new friendship, with Enid going !?!!!! And Wednesday pulling out her starter knife bc she's supposed to kill this monster

Enid's character is obviously a werewolf, one of the most famous race type in Jericho but there's a catch

Due to high demand, the devs has given a roll of chance to anyone who plays this race. Bc of this you could be an alpha, beta or cursed

Alpha's usually have a better chance to land a critical hit (aka better crit rate in their base form)

Beta is normal, your stats don't change.

Cursed are left unable to shift, which is an ability that all werewolves have where their crit dmg and crit rate is multiplied by two during full moons (which actually follows the irl moon cycle and there are usually combat events/bosses around then who drop really good loot)

This ability is really really good when you have the right artifacts and is part of the reason why so much people choose werewolves

Enid unfortunately, is a cursed and so she sulks with her amazing artifacts with the knowledge that it could be better if she just shifts

Continuing! Wednesday chose to be a psychic and ends up with the sub ability to summon ink creatures at her will. Aka be a beast tamer of some sort

The catch is, she has to kill the creature and subdue it first before she can acquire them into her slots. She is only allowed five creatures in battle so she has to choose carefully aswell

Being a beast tamer is pretty fun but it's lowkey like playing Pokémon so not alot of people liked to use it

Anyways abilities over

Wenclair plus pugsley go have fun, they start raiding dungeons, doing quests together until pugsley drops out from uninterest like a few months in

Enid understands, Wednesday doesn't care and so Wenclair continue their journey of beating absolute ass in this game because wednesday is competitive and Enid is happy to be there

They grind for the absolute best of artifacts and spend so much time on better weapons, it's almost like they're addicted

And honestly? Wednesday was having fun. There was a joy in being able to calculate how well you can do if you wear this goblet that raises your elemental dmg or if you lvl up this skill to a certain lvl you can beat absolutely everyone

(and maybe, planting lil carrots infront of Enid's house isnt so bad)

Enid while competitive, was having fun decorating her lil land far from Jericho. It was like a lil hobbit hole, with greens and vines and dim lighting because wednesday can never stand the bright lights that were originally hung up and vehemently refused to visit if they were there

"you're like a vampire!" Enid says in the in game comm

Wednesday tsks "a vampire who isn't afraid to pk you, Sinclair."

"you're so mean Willa," sinclair, Enid's username, whines.

Willa, Wednesday's own in game username, just hurls her dagger at the sulking blond.

"Wha- HEY!"

So they play and play and omy?

They get married?

Interesting, so it seems that in the second year anniversary of Jericho (when Wenclair are fourteen) the devs decided to have a lil romance for the lonely people and give the ability to marry

Why are Wenclair married? Well, obviously for the benefits. You get 3x the xp when doing quests, challenges and missions together, not to mention that the probability of getting better artifacts and quality quests skyrocket by 5 percent

Like sure you have to share land and divorcing means losing half your gold but it's fine!!

It's with the status of married does Wenclair stumble across a secret quest

The tale of Crackstone

By the third year (Wenclair are now 15) of playing and finishing of the tale, Enid's status as cursed shifts to bludhound.

They celebrate, theyre having fun and theyre practically a married couple. Wednesday insists to go to a dungeon and Enid wants to do a world quest instead

The two settle these disputes with any challenges. They're kids, theyre having fun and if Wednesday looks forward to spending time with Sinclair so much that she bought a pc for herself then that's for her to know.

It's been three years and theyre practically inseparable! The two playing everyday just to spend as much as time together

Until Enid mentions that she won't be so active in a few days.

Why? Willa asks in chat. Are you getting kidnapped?

Course not!! Sinclair replies. Why do you always think I'm being kidnaped??

^n E ways imma be movin so I'll be bz :( can't play much bc we Goin out a state

Wednesday pauses then she squints, there's a feeling in her gut.

Ok, is willa's simple answer. Get online when you come back, we still need to investigate Crackstone's crypt.

Kk! Sinclair cheerily replies. Bye bye Willa, cya in a few dayyysssss

Sinclair has logged out the world.

Wednesday tilts her head a tad and there's a crease on her brow as she sits in her chair. She continues playing, making sure to check over the crops one more time before turning in for the night.

Crackstone's crypt is left uninvestigated for years

Sinclair inbox: 99+ unread messages!

[starmapz]

UGH trish it took me so long to read the last chapter....idk ive been in a reading slump its so weird like it made me guilty to read things that i enjoy so ermmm roundabout way to say i was saving it for when i could truly savor it....

anyways wow the yearning in this chapter....there are so many moments where i screamed. like for example, when sukuna was trying to apologize, i just wanted reader to kiss him like...if an emotionally constipated man was trying so hard to tell me his emotions i would literally be so down bad. im glad reader's better than me and thinking hard about whether to give him a second chance or not.

i do think, however, that while sukuna and reader have wronged each other and hurt each other, we're not *completely* in a place we can't go back from that. in my opinion, there's shit you can do that is so...toxic and stuff you can't undo no matter what (i.e. cheating, lying completely, being hurtful, being decietful etc) while, to me, sukuna and reader's conflicts have happened mostly bc of inner conflicts/miscommunication/misunderstandings/bad life circumstances. all that to say that i think you did a really admirable job creating the angst because to me as a writer it's hard to do that without making any party looking super toxic/unreedemable. we're still hoping for sukuna and reader, and it's not frustrating either :')

like, there's a lot of things sukuna could've done in this scenario way worse than what he did, like guilt trip reader whenever she couldn't help him out, not being respectful of her or her time...dont get me wrong, im not trying to say "oh at least sukuna wasn't a complete asshole that means he's a green flag!!" but rather i feel like a lot of people in sukuna's situation itself would, in reality, guilt trip, take advantage of others' kindness, etc. especially as man (LOL). but rather than him *actually* being an asshole, really the conflict here is that sukuna's just a anxious guy who doesn't want to feel like he's indebted to others. to me, since he cares about being indebted to others/taking more than he gives back, it shows he cares about not taking advantage of people, etc.

i hope that makes sense? i really look up to your writing and how well you pace. the way you write your conversations are literally how i would answer them irl, and im actually soo jealous of how you develop your characters :') conversations are the hardest parts for me to write, and im just in awe of how you make it flow so naturally...

anyways this got long im gonna include my horny thoughts in a reblog lolzz

AASHI!! i totally get that feeling, i find i feel the same way every couple of months and will just need to save things i want to read bc i want to enjoy it properly 😩

UGH i know right reader's so much stronger than i am, i'd fold immediately if a man like sukuna was trying that hard to fix things with me, i'd be internally losing my mind. like give that man a kiss!!

i appreciate that so much :') when i was coming up with the main conflicts between them (particularly his reasoning for not showing up to the project presentation and the conflict during their big fight in ch10), i really wanted to make sure that there was a very good reason for everything happening because i didn't want either character to be irredeemable or outright toxic. i'm glad it's not frustrating either!!

he's not necessarily a green flag and has done some shitty things, but nothing he's done has been malicious in any way so i'd like to think he's not a red flag either!! i feel like growing up with a good parent like jin, he doesn't try to be an asshole even though he knows he can be, he's just a product of unfortunate circumstances and misunderstandings. he wants to be good!! a good friend, a good parent, a good brother, a good partner 👀 he just struggles with outside issues.

that's so sweet and means a lot coming from you (the way you write conversations always has me kicking my feet they're sooooo good!! also the way you write period pieces has me in a chokehold i'm seriously in love with your knight choso and bridgerton gojo and don't even get me started on spiderman!gojo he has my whole heart), thank you 😭 i worry my pacing is way too slow and my conversations sound cheesy all the time LOL

aaa tysm for this <33 i'm so glad you enjoyed it!!

[trans-reynolds-woodcock]

We were all stuck at home bc of the random snow halfway through the week last month- it wasn't even that bad but I was grateful because the roads were icy and I wouldn't have been able to get a Lyft to work. I did what I tend to do when stuck at home with my pets and my own thoughts: I went on Hinge. I swiped, cautiously because I wasn't paying for another week of unlimited use- that had been my whole Christmas break and all I got was a bunch of hot people leaving me on read mid-conversation and having to block the absolute pinnacle of the mediocre white trans guys I've had short-lived stints with in the last year. I deserve better than that, and sometimes having unlimited choice isn't a good thing; I really wanted to hone in on people who were interesting, looked kind, AND I was attracted to. And then I matched with The Person, and I didn't start the conversation right away because they are the polar opposite of what I've been going for for years. But hey, what the hell, there was one particular picture that had really caught my eye and their job seemed interesting. They started the conversation by: attempting a pickup line, immediately fumbling it because the niche historical figure's name was different than they originally thought, and then making a reference to a French revolutionary from a period I've never even heard of... I was sold.

I turned the flirty text charm up to 11, got them to spill their favorite books... and then proceeded to have two horrible days at work and forgot about the app entirely. Thankfully they got anxious and made the first move to touch base before proclaiming me a lost cause because I was fully convinced that I had completely blown my chances, and we were back to the races. They have two master's degrees so I am hopelessly out of my depth in knowledge but I try to make up for it in other ways with as much grace as I can muster; they have a dry sense of humor and are incredibly gracious as I ramble about my pets and whatever other nonsense I can come up with. We talk for four days, they mention that they're going out of town with their sibling for the weekend, I bite the bullet and ask if they'd like to get dinner that night before they leave, they say yes.

That was February 21st. It hasn't even been three weeks since I first met The Person for our first date and I feel like it's been forever in the best way. I can't stop thinking about them, truly. We text every day, just a quick burst back and forth about how our days are going or sharing pictures of Mickey and me on his Gotcha day or a selfie at the grilled cheese stand at the Preds game or the view from the back of the clinic after they comment about how with all the windows I'd better be getting some sunshine on the first really warm day of the year. I downloaded a book they mentioned really liking and am going to either listen to FKA Twigs for the first time or do a deep-dive into Mitski because those are two of their favorite artists and am starting to play a video game we found we'd both seen playthroughs of but it was just a bit too scary for them to play IRL.

We tease each other, and we just sit and talk for hours when we see each other and I always think it's never long enough. There's no exhaustion after spending time with them or feeling obligated to carry on the conversation or feign interest in any aspect of their life- just light and happiness and trepidation but also excitement. I've never felt this way about another person; I don't think I've ever felt this way at all.

[ouroboros-hideout]

Time to go to Rewe and stock up on groceries for the house of Baddieghest! Shopping list: — 1 kg of Po-ta-toes — Aon — 1 Avocado — Aon as well — 100 soft dark Tomatoes — Vlad (don't buy, just throw at him) — 1 Lemon — each of them (since a certain oversized gollum stole all of them) If your credit balance is too low for the purchase, call mom Jago!

Time to make some salad of the things our circus director brought to the house. Italy won't get anything of it tho. She would only complain about it anyway bc there are potatos in it. Absolutely no taste.

AON

🥔 [POTATO] What do they have that others see as a flaw, but they don't care about?

Maybe her bossy attitude of “You can't tell me shit” and her tone in general. She can be very compassionate, but she's always walking a fine line between “okay, I'm being really nice and empathetic this time" or "lol get your shit together and stop whining.” But it's always been her way of saying what she thinks rather than wrapping the person she's talking to in a blanket just to create a sense of fake comfort. She's been through way too much shit in her life to care who she might offend or not. Deal with it, or get lost.

🥑 [AVACADO] What will they never back down about, even if it makes them seem bad?

I think the thing you can blame her most for is her work. It's not exactly a respectable job, manufacturing war machines and weapons, but it fills her with pride when she completes a big project. Building machines is her passion. That particular type of machine maybe wouldn't have been her first choice, but having already learned a lot about it while studying at SovOil, she stuck with it during her time with the Nomads and refined her skills. After all, it's lucrative because the world is just a rotten place and she has to look after her people. Is it reprehensible that people are being killed with the weapons she makes? Sure. But if it's not her weapon, then it's someone else's. Maybe she’s too pessimistic to think that anything in this society would change anymore. In a sense of: I could make this world a better place if I instead would do xy.”  

🍋 [LEMON] What is their kryptonite/ultimate weakness?

People she loves and cares about. She’s really protective for her found-family, especially for those she knows are no fighters or would struggle to defend themselves in a dangerous situation. She’s not overly protective of the ones she knows can handle themselves, like Kurt for example, but that doesn't mean you couldn’t do a lot of damage to her if something happens to him or any other person that’s close to her. 

VLAD

🍅 [TOMATO] How misunderstood is your OC? In-universe or IRL.

Misunderstood in the sense that it's hard to believe that there's still something human/empathetic in him that just can't come to the surface anymore and that's quite an inner struggle for him sometimes. Like: fighting the beast inside and knowing that you're gonna lose anyway. So of course everyone sees him as the cold-blooded bastard with the psycho mindset because that's the only thing that comes to the outside. That's why he's not really misunderstood, but there would certainly be an opportunity to understand him on a different level if someone had the chance to delve deeper into this man's mind. Though there is no way to repair the damage that’s done so it only would be a thing to satisfy curiosity instead of trying to fix something. 

🍋 [LEMON] What is their kryptonite/ultimate weakness?

Could be two things. One is his physical weakness, one is his mental weakness. Physically his artificial heart. Like in a natural body it’s the core of his whole system and if it fails everything else shuts down as well. He surely would have a bigger time window until all the other inner modifications of his body stop working completely but if you really want to take him out the best way would be to rip that thing out of his chest. 

On a psychological level it’s when he’s “getting aware of his condition”. He sometimes has very rare and short moments of clarity, where he knows that something is wrong inside his head. Those moments are triggered by strong emotions both positive and negative and affects him like “a glitch in his system”. He gets more careless, confused or even has a short blackout. Surely could be something that can be used against him, tho it is a bit of a gamble to trigger such a moment on purpose. 

[the80srewinders]

What the fuck is wrong with your cyber dependent ass. Why the fuck do you hate people who go offline for five minutes. Oh, yeah, because you're too retarded and crippled to have a life outside of the Internet you worthless fuck. Real people with real trauma don't spend that much time online you dumbfuck. Real people with real trauma have real jobs and therapy, shit you don't have or else your pussy ass wouldn't throw around sui threats. Your Internet addicted trauma-free weak ass and zoomer screen zombies like your poser ass are why we have so many fucking toxic DID communities, and fucking frankly, why we have only DID communities because you fake ass fucks are fascinated by DID. I've already called out your fake pussy ass for faking CSA, your last post just gave me another tool in exposing your faker poser ass. I mean, we all know you're faking trauma and DID because you admitted yourself you ain't got shit that the "valid survivors" do and that's your fucking words not mine. Instead of chronic pain, chronic fatigue or chronic illness, your weak pussy ass ended up chronically online and we all know chronically online people don't have shit wrong with them physically and you can fucking bet they never had trauma a day in their lives. People who use the Internet too much like you are toxic ass bimbos. I hope your iPad gets taken away so you can finally go out into the real world, touch some fucking grass and for God's sake, get raped while you're at it. Then you'll know the pain us real trauma survivors deal with.

poor attempt at tryna be "gangsta" 😹

first off i wouldn't be cyber dependent or wtv if we had people irl who supported us besides therapists, you don't know the situation you're just jumping to conclusions because you're a bigot

i don't hate people who go offline. I hate people who hate technology, hate the Internet, etc. and I hate people who are dumb like u n generalize the Internet as a whole as bad when it's not, it's js trolls like u on social media that make ppl think dat

besides resources on the Internet saved our life at our most low points, ofc wed defend technology especially Internet, how fkn ableist can u b

thanks, I already knew that and yk what? I can fucking kms if it would make u feel better bc I've hated myself for those reasons years before i was allowed on the internet 😘

first off... do u even hv real trauma? sure doesn't sound like it from the asks u been sendin atp or else you'd know us trauma survivors flock online bc it's a dangerous thing to talk ab irl. for reasons I shouldn't hv to state if ur a real trauma survivor. which I doubt u r 😹

your ask about me faking CSA because I wasn't hypermobile is a line of shi. ain't no1 out there who's rly been sa'd gon believe that or u.

uh bish how the fuck do u know wat I do and don't? for your fuckin information I hv been in therapy for DID treatment since dx in Nov 2022. n js bc I can't get legally employed doesn't mean I don't do shi for ppl that the body is able to do, which ain't much but it's smt like u js be tryna judge my life and what u think I do atp

also ik wtf i said.

I ain't fascinated by DID bitch I wish I didn't live w it. if u actually read any of my posts on our personal experiences you'd know how much I hate it. but mk, that doesn't fit wit ur narrative so u had to gloss over dat n move on

haha u contradict urself here. "chronically online people don't have anything wrong with them physically" bitchhh do u hear urself how u sound. first u were goin off on me bc I was too "crippled" which is an ableist slur for a physically disabled person now ur sayin I ain't got shi wrong w me. damnnn you js hate chronically online ppl atp like wtf is ur problem. being online literally every hour ur awake isn't healthy n I don't stand for dat but I also don't do dat either 😘 I'm online a lot and never go outside unless it's to go out in public but I do hella offline indoor activities too, bc yk that's a thing

i know imma bimbo, ur js jealous bc u don't have a sex life 😘 maybe if you stopped touching grass youd hv a sex life too

i already said this before n I ain't gon say it again i neva had an ipad. also thanks for telling me to get raped, i actually hv hundreds of times n as much as dat sounds like a stretch or made up, I can assure u 100% it's true n my fkn body is messed up from being raped so many fkn times. I've been raped again this yr and u don't know how many times I get sa'd by family members. u ain't no real trauma survivor or else u wouldn't wish dis on som1. fuck you bish.