#having like a Bad Time irl bc I can't get a job and have no income among other things

[roadkill-punk]

Hi gang sorry I like burnt out and exploded here's a wip + Gabriel face headcanon. Righteous hands of the father or whatever.

Don't look too hard at the hand anatomy it'll get fixed like. Eventually.

[dilf-docs]

Can We Hit It Now, Low-Down And Gritty?

dieter bravo x younger!reader

summary: the last thing you need is world-renowed asshole slash actor dieter bravo to yell at you for doing your job. he'll pay for that.

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap, smut, p. in v., pwp, size kink, brat taming, degradation kink, fingering, oral (f. receiving), pussy spanking (again?! dilf-docs u horndog WE GET IT), creampie, tbh this is just pure filth pls forgive me Lord I have sinned, dieter bravo (yes that's a warning), nicknames (doll), reader is a glorified porn writer, she can also speak spanish but no physical description/nationality is mentioned

word count: 6,324 words

side note: hello someone please take away ai bots from me thank you. won't add anything else, just enjoy this horny mess sponsored by our fluffy disaster king (did enjoy writing their banter though). i need to be on horny jail bc i'm on those days and wrote this in about 24 hours talk about desperate like i'm going to hell wow if you know me irl no you don't

The set was quiet, well, as quiet as it could be: quick footsteps, flickers of lights, turning of pages, sips of freshly bought coffee and instructions yelled to the air.

That is something you can control. Like, even. But this job isn't easy, given not only what but also who you need to handle.

And speaking about the devil, here comes the who: world-renowned asshole and actor, Dieter Bravo, storming into the place with a strenuous walk.

Just what you need: he's coming in your direction with what you recognize is the movie's script in his hands.

"Who wrote this?!" he angrily shouts, glaring at the people on the set.

"I did" you stand still, defiant even. "Is that a problem?"

Dieter scoffs when he hears your response.

"Is that a problem?" he mocks. "Look at this!"

He holds up the script but you don't even bother to look at it: you've read it so many times, you could recite it from memory.

"This crap isn't going to sell" Dieter argues. "People aren't going to be interested in this story"

There's an irritated expression on his face as he looks down on you. Does Dieter think you care? Of course you knew it was bullshit as soon as you finished the first page, but you had to pay bills, and working this shitty jobs would get you closer to the contacts you needed―the only reason you're doing this in the first place.

"Tell me" he stands before you, and he's so close, you can hear his uneven breathing. "Did you really write this garbage?"

What's the point in lying? The only reason why you did is because you wanted to make him mad. Is it childish? Yes. But you have your reasons, the biggest one being that in no way would you allow a celebrity to talk down on you like that. It's one of the worst parts of your job, and not even Dieter and his handsome face would let you take his shit.

"No, I didn't. But I approved it" you cross your arms, revealing the truth. "You know, you're being very dissmisive of people's hard work because you can't stand not being so called perfect. It's called humilty, you could try"

(You don't really care about this people's hard work that much. They did a bad job, but in the end, a job. He should respect them for that, not the result. A bad one, objectively speaking)

Dieter scoffs at your response, obviously not liking the snarky tone.

"Oh, you approved it?" his tone comes out annoyed. "Which means you know it's crap, right?"

You shrug your shoulders, making him visibly frustrated with the conversation.

"This has nothing to do with me wanting to be the spotlight, you idiot" Dieter raises his voice, "did you even stop to think about the viewers?"

Okay, so now you're the villain. Frankly, it's been a bad week, and the last thing you want is this guy thinking he can get away with harrassing and talking down a less payed crew member just because he's rich, famous and hot. Whatever. If he wanted to play with fire, you'll happily be the match.

"Listen, I approved it because I want to go home and be at peace. Don't give me crap about the viewers. Of course I know this is shit! But I don't get paid enough to care. Besides, even if I wanted, I couldn't change it. You're angry at the wrong person; I'm just following orders"

Dieter clenches his fist, clearly struggling to keep his calm.

"So you just do whatever the hell the director says?" he spits in a irritated tone.

"That's about my job"

"You do know that could mean this movie flops, right? Is that how little you care about what you do?"

Dieter stands before you, crossing his arms, the veins on them popping with annoyance.

"You don't know shit about me" you reply while trying not to look at his flexing biceps too much, hoping he doesn't notice. "And I'm sorry to break it to you, but not all of us are big names that can do whatever they please or hold that much power. If it was up to me, I wouldn't hire this stupid director, writer or you, who, by the way, are way past your prime"

It's an unnecesary offense you truly didn't mean, but you hate the way he talks to you as if you were stupid. And maybe the blow felt bigger because you are a fan. Geez. You thought working with him would be a dream, despite his reputation, yet now all the claims are becoming true in the worst way possible. The last thing you need is Dieter finding out you're a fan, and even if it's a coward way out, you'll defend what's left of your dignity however it takes.

Dieter's brown eyes widen in disbelief at your petty comment. Then, they spark with rage, as he looks quite furious.

"Excuse me?! You don't get to talk about me like that" Dieter moves his ringed hands erratically in the air, as to make his point any more clear. "Do you know how hard I've worked for my career? I won't have anyone, less a little brat, tell me I'm past my prime"

You admire his career, that's the worst of it all. But the annoyance has settled deeply in between you both, and you find yourself at loss for words or energy to keep bickering. Besides, behind you, you can hear the order to continue filming in a few.

"Yeah, you don't get to talk to me like that either. I guess we're even" you sigh, tiredly. "Anything else I can help with, Mr. Bravo?"

If you could, you would cover your mouth in horror. You didn't mean to call his name like that, as if you're allured by him. Fuck Dieter. You hope he doesn't read too much into the tone.

But of course his drug-fried brain would notice that, the actor staring at you with a puzzled look when you call his name.

"Oh, now you're calling me Mr. Bravo, eh? Trying to flirt your way out of this? I'm not a dumbass, you know"

The fact that he associates the calling with flirting rather than nerves makes your eyes twitch. He keeps staring at you, heat making it's way to your face. It's like he's trying to find out if what you said was indeed flirting, and given by the smirk he's giving you, it seems Dieter's got the wrong veredict.

"I'm not stupid either, but here you're talking to me like I am"

Great. That came out even more childish than you intended.

You think the color painting your cheeks is noticeable now, as Dieter lets out a small chuckle. He then cuts the distance even more, the irritating smirk still on his face.

"Well, then don't try and play me like I'm an idiot." Dieter pauses for a moment, then continues in a teasing tone when he sees your flushed face. "Oh, you're so red... It's cute"

"Cute?" the sound you let out is a mix of a chuckle and scoff. "Did you just call me cute? Are you too trying to flirt your way out with of this?" you repeat his same words from earlier. He chuckles amused at your behavior, his smirk turning into a cocky smile as he stares down at you.

"Me? flirt my way out? I would never." he then continues to speak in an amused tone. "I call people I find cute, cute...and you are definitely cute"

"Oh, I'm not the only one then, huh? And here I thought I was special" you feign hurt, and even if you're not an actor, you hope it sells. "And here I thought we were playing the same game. Well, I suppose we're done, and you can go back to filming or complaining, whatever suits you. Oh, the director is here: now bother someone else"

"Special? Nah, can't say you are." he says playfully at your attempt to brush him off. Then Dieter glances over in the director's direction but his gaze returns to you. "Oh, I'll deal with him later, you worry about yourself, sweet cheeks"

You know it's part of the banter, but it's no news to anyone who truly knows you the insecurity you've felt after so many projects rejected, ideas scrapped and terrible dating life. The you're not special hangs in the air, suffocating you; it feels like a slap to the face. Not to be a downer or such a mood changer, but it's hard to pretend. Yeah, you couldn't be an actor even if you tried to.

"Yeah I know" you answer, this time not pretending. Your voice may have given you away, so you turn around, hoping he doesn't get to see your face fall. "You're right, I'll take care of myself or whatever you said before. Bye, Mr. Bravo" you rush the words out, embarrased at yourself and how easily he's got you wrapped around his finger.

Really? And I called him again like that? So stupid.

But he notices that your face has changed a bit, picking up the slight change. Dieter feels a slight pang of guilt for what he said, his smirk disappearing from his face. He lets out a sigh when you bid goodbye; he was having fun.

"Hey, wait a minute"

The actor reaches out and gently grabs your arm, stopping you from leaving.

"What do you want?" you dryly ask, trying to keep a stoic façade, hoping Dieter doesn't catch the racing heartbeat by touching your wrist. "Go bother someone else"

"What I want..." he pauses for a brief moment, "...is for you to not walk away"

Dieter's grasp on your wrist loosens a bit, but he still keeps a hold on you. "I made a mistake. I was being an ass"

Was he, apologizing? For a moment, it seemed like Dieter was going to admit to what he did, which was unlike him, but his voice sounded genuine.

"D-Dieter!" you squeak his name in surprise, then blushing at the embarrassing sound. "You can't be serious, I mean- I'm the one that's sorry, I was an ass first. I think I deserve that"

It doesn't make sense and yes, you deserve his apology, yet at this point you're braindead and this is nothing but just nervous rambling at his actioms, so out of character from what you've heard and know.

A small chuckle escapes from the actor's mouth when he hears you squeak his name.

"I am serious. I mean it. You did not deserve it" his light grasp on your wrist stays as he slowly runs his thumb over your skin. Dieter stands even closer, making your breath hitch.

"W-what are you doing? You realize we're on set, right?" I laugh nervously, yanking my arm, even if you want him to still hold you.

The actor slowly loosens his grasp on you and lets go of your wrist, but the relief is short-lived as he moves his hand to your chin, tilting your head up to look at him.

"Of course I know we're on set. Why? You think I'm doing something you don't like?"

Mischief glistens in his eyes, and you gulp nervously at the turn of events.

"I don't like it because it's not what I've heard from you" you confess before even stopping to think a proper answer. "You know, they warned us... to not get involved with the cast, and you? This isn't who I thought... heard- I think I'm going insane" you get very nervous, well aware you're doing a very poor job at hiding it. "Y-you have an exhibition kink or something?"

Ah, why. Yes, of course your mouth and brain had teamed up against you, the duo an expert on ruining your life.

See, it was a joke, but it comes out horribly wrong, making you cover your mouth. "Fuck, I'm sorry, I truly didn't mean-"

Dieter lets out a soft chuckle when you cover your mouth in embarrassment, clearly enjoying this.

"An exhibition kink? That's interesting. I've never been asked that before..."

His hand gently grabs your wrist, slowly moving it away from your mouth.

"Oh, don't cover your mouth. I like the things you say, although some are dumb"

"Wow, you're still hellbent on calling me dumb. I thought we were friends" you breath relieved at the way he took your stupid move, playfully nudging his side, feeling plush skin under his clothes. Fuck. You better leave before you dig this hole deeper. "So, do you or not? Answer the question. The joke may have backfired but my curiosity is still there"

"Dumb, stupid, idiot... you choose. I'm still going to call you that, doll. Can't let you off that easily" Dieter chuckles before answering your question, because of your boldness and the reappearing dark shade over your face. "Alright, I'll answer your question. Are you sure you want to know, though? You have a wild imagination"

"How do you know?" you fake gasp. "Have you read my works?"

It came out in the moment, not something you're used to saying out loud, especially when you're simply an assistant, because honestly, it's embarrassing.

Dieter gives you a small smirk when you fake gasp at his statement. He then continues to look down at you.

"I've heard some things. That some of the scenes you've written are a bit... steamy. If you know what I mean"

There is that same treacherous blush again. How could you get out of this?

"No I don't" and a tricky smile adorns your features, "enlighten me"

Great. The best way out seems to be going down.

"Is that right? You don't know what I mean? Well, you're the hand behind these love scenes, aren't you?"

The small input in this movie, by yours truly. When he received the script, he recoiled at how bad it was, almost calling his agent to call quits on the project. But then he had read the first of many scenes involving a certain type of action, and he decided to stay. Now that he stands before you, knowing it's you who's written them, he finds the discovery amusing and worth entertaining, no matter if he was initially pissed at the fact you were also part of the reasons why he wanted to quit.

A cocky smile appears on the actor's face when you get closer: he likes how, despite the embarrasing events you still find it in you to stand before him, spark behind your eyes full of mischief. It all starts to make sense, he thinks with amusement.

"Love scenes?" you taunt. "You mean the ones were they break furniture and blow off steam with the nasties sounds ever heard to human kind? Nope, doesn't sound like it; no idea what you're talking about" Then you pause, to keep suspense. You lick your lips, making sure to hold his gaze. "Unless..."

Dieter snickers when you describe the scenes; filming hadn't yet get there but he is eager. The actor's gaze is fixed on you as he lets out a low hum.

"Unless what? You can't just pause there, now that got me intrigued"

This isn't real, because he genuinely seems interested in what you'll say next.

"Unless you want to recreate them before filming, since you know, you're so damn interested. Sweeping your big nose in business you shouldn't" you called his nose big not as an offense but rather a compliment: it's literally the prettiest you've ever seen. Hell, it's not only endearment you feel towards it; you've literally wrote a scene where the female lead grinds off it, all while thinking of him. You really hope he's lying about reading your stuff. "Metiche"

Dieter lets out a surprised laugh at your comment about his nose, positive in his mind. He found it amusing that you called it big, which usually would be negative to some, but he didn't really mind. It's also funny in a way, and he finds to be enjoying this more than he should, long forgotten his complains or the movie he's supposed to be shooting as of now.

"Metiche, huh? You have quite the mouth on you"

"Do I?" are you confident, bold or stupid? "You haven't even seen anything yet, Mr. Bravo"

Dieter lets out another chuckle at your confidence. He's definitely entertained by your responses. He tilts his head while giving you a curious expression.

"Is that so? You have something more you'd like to share, doll? I'm open to see whatever you have if I haven't seen it already"

"Or read" I joke, "like I seriously need to check my friends to see who would sell me out. Did you truly read my stuff or you're just fucking with me?"

Dieter lets out another chuckle, finding your joke funny. He then gets a more serious, but still amused, expression on his face.

"I'm not messing with you, I did read some of them, including the ones on this movie. I didn't lie about that, I promise" he pauses for a brief moment, letting out an amused hum. "Y no te preocupes, linda. No estoy jugando contigo"

"If you didn't lie then I suppose you'd know who I had in mind when I wrote that scene of a guy eating a girl's pussy while she sits in his face, grinding on it. I'll give you a clue" you tiptoe, until the hot of your breathe clashes against the cold of his ear's skin, "he's got a big nose"

Dieter lets out a low hum when you drop the clue. "A big nose huh? Sounds familiar"

"It does?" you ask on an overly saccharine tone, fingers carressing the bridge of his nose, softly.

How did we get here?

He leans in a bit to get closer, clearly into your little taunts.

"Yeah, it does. And you just confirmed it too, no need to try to hide it now"

"Woah, don't let the ego win over, Mr. Bravo. A lot of people got big nose, you included" you smirk, removing your fingers from his face, and he would never admit out loud he instantly misses the warmth of your touch. "It's just coincidental you got the part and matched the character's description. You know what they say: all events depicted in this movie are fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental" you recite.

He laughs, shyly. "I know a lot of people have big noses, but I do wonder why you chose that trait in particular"

"I wonder too" then your tone drops low, "We should try, you know, to see if it's viable before we get to filming that part... call it exploratory research"

He feels your fingers touching again his nose.

"Exploratory research, you say?" Dieter lets out a soft chuckle. "How about you be a doll and show me some of that research. I'll gladly be the test subject"

You get flustered. This went too far. Why aren't you running away, or banging your head against a wall for some common sense? This is getting ridiculous, but so is the wet spot between your legs.

"Um, I- wow, I- do you really...? No way" you become a rambling mess again, trying to steady yourself, "You want to eat my pussy?"

The words come out brash, making you cringe.

"Is that what you're saying, Mr. Bravo? You can still turn around and pretend you don't know me. Muero de pena"

Hee tilts his head to the side, looking at you with an almost wolf-like look in his eyes. He takes a step closer, so more of his body is against your own, his face closer to yours.

"Don't do that. You don't have to be embarassed, doll" his finger plays with your lower lip. "I'm saying exactly that"

"Please" voice so small it feels like you'll break, "do it"

The actor lets out a hum in response to your small voice.

"Right here...?"

"No!" you jump horrified, getting out of the horny haze for a bit. "Oh, God. Do you want to be blacklisted, Dieter?" squeaky, lowering your gaze to avoid his, resorting to playing with your fingers. "You have a room, right? They gave you one.... just for you, right?"

He nods his head in response.

"Perks of being the lead actor" he beams a bit proud with full-blown ego in display. "I have my own trailer, and it's not that far away"

"It's okay, I like walking anyways" you reply. "As a matter of fact, I like a lot of things"

The actor lets out another soft laugh in response.

"You're cheeky, you know that, baby?"

He starts to lead you towards his trailer, putting his arm around your waist. It feels big and warm, his touch making a current shoot down until it looses in between your legs. If this is what fighting and low paid terrible jobs got you, you'd do it more often.

"Cheeky? Cute? Do you want to kill me?" I laugh as we almost make it there. "Turns out, I kinda like that"

Now, where you testing your luck by keeping on running your mouth? You need to shut it up forever.

The actor chuckles when you ask if he wants to kill you, stopping in his tracks when you mention that you kind of like that. He looks down at you with a soft, yet cocky smile, but his arm still lingers around your waist.

"I've never heard a woman say that before, doll. I'm starting to believe you have some weird things you're into"

I'm a porn writer, but now you stop before saying more shit. His comment makes you flustered, getting shy all of the sudden as if you hadn't just half-admitted part of your kinks.

Whatever, what's out in the open air can't be unsaid. And Dieter seems to be just as into this as you, finally someone to match your freak after all those men whose cowardice made them leave before the fun started. I'm a porn writer, what'd you expect? It would be fun if I was into vainilla stuff.

"Weird things?" you pretend to be offended, "what do you have in mind?"

"Me? You want me to think? My head is still hurting from yesterday's hangover" he jokes, "why don't you be a doll and tell me exactly what you want?"

You smirk devilishly and he's taken back by the change of your demeanor. You were truly a little wolf disguised as a sheep.

"What I want is for you to press your weight onto me as you fuck me raw" you get red as you spill the lewd thoughts out loud, but it's what you write so it's not new. Your eyes dart to the curve of his soft belly, tight against his shirt. You look away, even redder if possible. "For the research, of course! All with purpose, to uh- See if I don't suffocate- the character, I mean!"

Your dirty words darken his brown kit-kat eyes, clearly enjoying the way you talk to him.

"Of course, for the research. Got to make sure the scene is accurate, right?"

He lets out a small hum and moves his hand on your waist, until they dig in your hips.

"Yeah, because we're professionals. Is this your trailer?" you ask, trying to deviate the conversation because your face keeps getting hotter. "This is your last chance to turn your back before this gets weirder. Hell, I might even leave the country"

The actor smiles at your comment about being professionals, finding it amusing.

"It's my trailer, doll. And I'm not turning my back after how this conversation is going. If I wanted, I would've already left. You'd have to try to get rid of me yourself"

Dieter then grabs his door handle and turns it, opening the door to his trailer. Your heart beats faster than humanely possible.

"Please don't look at me like that"

Dieter lets out a soft hum and looks down at you with a cheeky smile.

"Why not? I like to look at you"

He leads you inside the trailer. Once you're both inside, he shuts the door behind him. With lock. Hearing the click makes your heart skip a beat.

"Don't look at me like you'd do all the stupid things I've said"

The actor is clearly amused by your words.

"What makes you think I wouldn't?"

He licks his lips with anticipation, bracing himself for what's to come.

"I think you're smart. That you know what's best for you" your fingers go to his curls, and you can feel him shiver at the touch. His hungry expression goes soft for a brief moment, and you think you like that too.

"Mmm... your hands feel nice..."

You smile like the Cheshire cat. "And they feel even better when you put them to good use"

The actor lets out a low chuckle in response to your words and looks down at you with a cocky smile.

"Is that a hint, darling?"

"A hint?" you snort. "That's a whole ass answer in red, bold and capital letters"

The man lets out a loud laugh at your response.

"Damn, you're feisty with that attitude, aren't you, doll?"

"Am I?" your eyes darken, body walking in automatic, closing the distance. His soft body irradiates warmth, the section between his pants feeling hard. "Will you punish me for that?"

The actor lets out a soft hum when he feels your body against his own. Dieter's face slowly gets more lustful.

"Mmm, depends on how bad you are, doll. I could punish you if you misbehave"

"What would you count as misbeheaving, Mr. Bravo? I just want to be a good girl" you whisper, batting eyelashes.

The man smirks at your comment and the way you bat your eyelashes teasingly.

"You'll see. You wouldn't want me to spoil the surprise, doll. Being a good girl will get you a nice reward, though"

"Like" you caress his nose, "helping me on the research part?"

Dieter enjoys your teasing touch on his nose and smirks at your comment.

"Mmm, just like the research part, doll"

"Would you show me?" you ask out in a tone so sweet, he's about to come right there. He didn't think it was possible, even. So he lets out a cocky laugh as he says, tone dropping too:

"Maybe I should if you're so persistent in not believing me"

You roll you eyes. "You really think I'm that easy to convince?"

"That's not a no" Dieter smirks.

You scoff. "It's also not a yes"

His tricky ringed fingers trace until it gets in the middle of your legs, feeling your dripping arousal. He then removes the finger and licks it with his long tongue, the scene as obscene as it is but never removing his gaze from yours.

"You sure? Your words might say one thing, but your body says something else"

You get defensive, despite him cornering your frame against one of the trailers walls.

"What would you know about my body?"

Even if his eyes bear irritation, he lets out an entertained laugh.

"I see you like playing these games. Pissing me off until I shut you up myself"

"I don't care" your tongue drips in snark, and he's equally pissed and turned on.

"You're a bad liar, doll. Can't act even if your life depended on it"

You scoff, as you muster the most annoyed tone you can. "Yeah?"

"I ain't met you that long, but I can tell how your body needs me" his voice sends shivers down your spine. "Still think I'm dumb? That I can't see the way you look at me, lips almost drooling, body shaking, pleading me to touch it?" all words you could say die in your throat. "What's that? Cat got your tongue? I see you're busier getting wet"

"I-I don't know what you're talking about" but there's no confidence in your voice anymore, giving away how turned on you were. Your mind goes numb at the dangerous game you're playing, coming only to your senses when his hard cock grinds against your soaked panties.

"I think you do" Dieter bites his lip, giving your core another hard rub. "I know you'd love to feel my cock around your pretty soaked pussy. Hell, you've been begging for it"

Your mind may be backtracking, but your body definitely wasn't.

"C'mon. Stop playing hard to get, doll" Dieter chuckles, "I know you want this"

He doesn't get a word out of you, but the patch against his jeans growing wetter is enough.

"Answer me" a little moan leaves your lips as he presses himself closer, his lips devouring yours in a rough fashion. "You better talk when I tell you to. Thought you'd behave" his hand easily pulls up your knitted sweater, revealing no bra. "Damn brat. Of course you wanted this: wearin' nothing to the set and writing those scenes getting off to me like some fuckin' creep" you moan at the humiliating words coming out of his filthy mouth as he touches the rosy skin gently before giving your hardened nipple a lick and then a little bite just to hear you whine.

Dieter then grabs you by your thighs, placing you down on top of what appears to be a small kitchen's counter, his growing bulge pressed against your cunt: the hard, the cold meeting hot... it all has you incredibly turned on. You feel the cool of the rings on his hand as it starts to eagerly wander under your skirt, rubbing his middle finger in between your clothed folds.

"That's right, I wore this to have you" you moan against his lips as his fingers find your clit, making slow but steady circles, "because yes, I wrote those scenes thinking of you"

"What a bad bad girl" Dieter chuckles darkly, "wanna hear you take your well deserved punishment. And don't worry, we're far away so you can scream my name as loud as you need to, doll"

He wastes no time in giving you such, pulling down the hem of your panties until they fall down to the trailer's floor. Before him, the best sight ever revealed to men: your sticky mess of a pussy. Dieter grabs onto your thighs, spreading them slowly as he leaves a trail of kisses on the inside, his beard and fluffy hair creating tickles. He then licks the folds of your moisty entrance. When you move, you hear him tut. "Be a good girl, yeah? Stay still" and now his hands hold your thighs, keeping them in place as the rings fig in your skin. His tongue hits your sensitive folds just right, making a series of sounds leave your lips. So addicting, he thinks.

"I-I'll be a good girl" you whine, "just please. Don't stop"

Your toes curl and you begin to see stars. You're surprised he's quite compliant, adding extra pressure with his tongue, slurping on your juices with a sound so obscene, even your dirty horny mind hadn't been capable of picturing. But here he was, Dieter fucking Bravo: the reason you started writing steamy scenes and agreed to do them for this project he was starring in, him always in your mind, now eating your pussy like a starved man inside the walls of his trailer.

Your mind turns into goo and your body into a sensitive mess. Your legs start to shake, clench up and tremble, leaving you a moaning mess. You weren't going to pull away, and Dieter seemed to like that feisty side of yours, yet his hold didn't loose a bit. His index and middle finger leave your red clit and slide into your soaked nub, his thumb now doing the work on it.

"That's right, baby. Tell Dieter how much you love his fingers inside of you, you cock hungry slut"

You come all over his hand, legs tensing up as you tug his messy curls into your now tight-white fists.

"I said talk" he now grabs your hair, pulling your face closer. "Gonna be ungrateful, when I just gave you the best orgasm of your life? Say it, brat"

"Thank you, Mr. Bravo" you pant out, still recovering from the high.

That makes it two discoveries as of now:

You weren't wrong when you wrote those scenes picturing him

Dieter lived up to his reputation, because that is indeed, the best orgasm of your life

You won't stroke his ego, though. And he doesn't need it either, as he's calling you good girl while leaving love bites all over your neck. "Mine" he hisses, and you let yourself believe it for a while.

"We done, sweetheart?" you shake your head. "That's right, research has just began. Bet you want my rock hard dick inside of you now"

You whine, and he leans closer. "Why do I even ask? Gonna give you my cock for you to take like the little whore you are"

You slid your hand into his pair of briefs, giving his cock a few strokes.

"See? such a hungry girl" he seethes. "Who gave you permission, you fucking brat?"

A sting spreads across your bare clit, making you moan. That's not what you had in mind, but it's embarrassing how turned on it's making you. Well, you have some certainly interesting ideas for what to write next.

"Answer me" his tone is demanding, his large palm delivering another harsh slap to your cunt.

"N-no one"

"How do we say, then? Be a good girl and show me your manners"

"P-please!" you mewl, soon feeling his tongue soothing the pain.

"So you do know how to be a good girl" Dieter praises, pressing a light kiss to your puffy folds. "Now, where were we?"

He frees his pulsating member from the confines of the underwear, revealing his throbbing cock, ready to rub it against your folds. A little whine left your lips as he kept rocking his hips back and forth.

"Talking back to me before, where is that girl gone? All I see is a hungry slut, ready to take my cock like the little good girl she is"

Dieter pushes his tip further enough to be at the entrance of your burning hole, and you whine in frustration and need, that attitude he teases you with, long gone. All you want is him to fuck you.

"That's right, beg like the fucking whore you are"

"Just fill me up with your thick cum and fuck me until I won't be able to stand up"

"Dangerous game you playin', doll" but his expression is all hunger and no warning.

"Just fuck me" you spit. "I'm yours. Use me"

That seems to do the trick.

"Good girl" and Dieter fully pushes himself inside of you, he abuses your clit, entering him fully inside of you over and over again, not even giving you time to adjust to his girth; surprinsgly (or not), you liked it rough. His wet kisses become sloppier and rushed, landing on your lips, corners of your mouth, jaw and neck. A string of drool is on his as he pulls them out, rather prefering to hear the sounds you drowned against his lips on full volume. His hands grab you by your hips while his buck back a forth in a rough pace. Surpringsly, Dieter remembers his promise, your body caged by his bigger frame as he fucks you on the counter, feeling the swell of his belly against your lower abdomen. He pushes hard, his heavier weight making your back start to ache against the cold metal, the wall behind you digging painfully on your skin. But doesn't it feel so good?

"So fucking good" he groans, his forehead pressed against yours, breath coming in short, sharp gasps as he stares intensely into your eyes, "so tight"

You grab onto his back as he stretches you out, his pace speeding up. You moan against his ear as your nails dig further into his back with every thrust, saying his name. You come closer to your orgasm as he hits the right spot over and over again.

"Fuck... the way you beg for it, like a needy little slut. It's so fucking hot" Dieter wraps his hand around your throat, his thumb pressing lightly against your pulse point. "I'm going to ruin you, doll. Gonna fuck you so hard that you'll forget your own fucking name" his voice is a low, guttural growl, filled with a raw, animalistic desire. "All you'll know is the feeling of my cock splitting you open, claiming you"

His words and movements edge you close, sweat dripping and clinging uncomfortably to your skin due to the reduced space.

"I-I'm close again"

"But you better come with me, spoiled little girl. Ain't doin' it alone after all I've done for you" he groans, his thrusts becoming more and more aggressive.

Your walls clench against his soaked dick, his pace suddenly slowing as his cum fills your hole, coating your walls.

"F-fuck"

You try to even your breaths as he rests his head on your shoulder, bodies pressed together.

"So, was I of help?"

You chuckle at his attempt for small talk.

"You di good, Dieter. Mission accomplished"

"Right" he sounds a bit dissapointed, making the corners of your lips raise. "Well, If you ever need a helping hand" he wiggles his brows, "you know were to find me"

"I do" you press a brief kiss to his lips. "As a matter of fact, you can also tell me when you need my helping hand" said hand travels down, feeling his dick hard again. The sight alone makes you drool. "What'd you say, cowboy? Up for analyzing the collected data? We didn't even try with your nose"

"I knew it was mine!"

[iz-star]

Lately I've seen ppl saying that Zayne is for the eldest children, the parentified siblings, the kids who grew up knowing that their role wasn't about being kids but about taking care of the younger siblings and then became quite individualistic ppl who is used to do things on their own, to attend their needs on their own and not to expect anyone to bring them any kind of care.

As a parentified child, I can't bring myself to express how much I agree with this. I'm not exactly the eldest child, I'm the middle one, however, I'm the only girl, my older brother moved in with my father when we were young while I stayed with my mom, so the role to take care of my lil brother passed onto me while my brother, being the only child in my dad's home, grew up being spoiled and my lil brother, being the baby in my mom's house, grew up being spoiled. Needless to say again that, I'm the only girl and just bc of that I was the one who was always expected to learn how to take care of others, to learn how to cook, keep the house clean, learn what to do when my brothers were sick, and always was the one ppl acussed my lil brother with when he misbehaved.

If you notice, Zayne quite literally does all of that for you. In his most recent call he was offering MC to clean her house while she sleeps, since he likes to keep things tidied up and loves to help her and take care of her any chance he has (he knew she was tired from work). He also likes to cook for her, literally told her to look for some videogames to play together while he cooked dinner in his Doomsday card (and this is just one example), and of course he'd know what to do with you if you ever get sick, he's a Doctor! He's literally the only one out of the four guys who did his research about periods when he discovers how bad your cramps get, needless to say again that he is a Doctor (not to diminish the effort of the other guys cause they all were really lovely and they also did a quick research to try to help but let's accept that Zayne's career gives him advantage)

This made me come to the realization that Zayne not only is a caregiver but he (oh so perfectly) takes on the role that has always been forcefully given to women and he's not any less man for that, I'd say it's totally the opposite, it makes him look even more manly bc you know he can take care of himself just as well as any fuctional adult, while irl we women expect men to be kinda useless at housework bc they're not socialized into those roles.

(NOT saying that all men are useless at doing house chores like cooking or cleaning but stating that women have to expect that any man you meet might be)

Of course all of the guys are perfect functional adults who can take care of themselves and take care of you, whatever you need they would bring it to you or do it for you and if they don't know how to do it, they'd figure it out, they all only crave to have a soft, lovely domestic life with you and take care of you (Zayne's Doomsday card, Xavier's 21 days card, Sylus myth, etc)

However, we can't deny that the role of caregiver has always resonated more with Zayne and that is bc... he was also a mature child.

He wasn't exactly a parentified sibling, but for eldest parentified kids, to act more mature than they're expected to be comes with the role. Zayne was a quiet child and his parents were Doctors, if he's already quite busy with the job you can imagine how much time his parents dedicated to him, he probably learned to be self-sufficient at a pretty young age bc his parents were busy, he also understood how important was their job and has stated how inspiring it was to him, which probably gave him this need to learn how to take care of others and himself, before allowing adults to take care of him. The narrative might be a bit different but the main point still stands, he grew up thinking that he needed to take care of others and handle himself -his physical and emotional needs- on his own. He's also a quite individualistc person and as any mature kid, didn't have a healthy development and growth, jumping to adulthood too quickly that his childhood is missed and with it, his social skills are cut off in half.

That's the initial phase of his character development: when he starts to get into what he's missed. Ever since I started to play the game, Zayne never gave me the vibes of a cold or emotionally constipated man, totally the opposite, when I picked up on his demeanor, he gave me this feeling that he was one of those characters that feels too much and too deeply, they just don't show it, why? Because they are not used to show their emotions and have never done it, literally don't know how to loosen up or don't even know that they have to do it.

Remember that anecdote where he tried to joke with his interns while in the middle of a surgery and they all got scared of him, misunderstanding his joke for a reprimand. No wonder why Zayne got along better with the old man who didn't want to take his meds. When I started to interact with him, he didn't come across as cold to me at all, stoic is a good way to describe his personality but not to describe the issue. Zayne's behaviour was never cold, he was stiff.

You can tell that at first there were a lot of misunderstandings between him and MC and the way he shows how much he cares that she missed. Parentified children know that the best way of showing affection is through actions. We are forced to mature too quick that we end up missing the phase where we develop our social skills, that's why for us actions are better than words. That's also why Zayne admits that he was never good at words.

(Of course I also have the headcanon that he's autistic, but that's a topic for another day).

Entering in a romantic relationship, even tho actions are always a good way to show affection, communication is key if you want for it to work and that's a development we can see with Zayne and MC through his cards. Like, in the case of the ENG va, I've seen a lot of ppl saying that Zayne's voice in his early cards sounds too robotic and while I agree that it can be bc the VA was starting to get into the role, it could also be bc the more he learns to communicate, the less stiff and robotic he sounds. Not only the tone of his voice or locution but also the words he uses to express himself and his feelings. Before, whenever he wanted to state if he missed MC or how important she was for him, he would talk of her in third person (he still does it sometimes bc he seems to love role play lol) but for important things, he's learned to be more straightforward ("You occupied my every thought" "I need you, I have never denied that" "You're not allowed to go without saying goodbye" "There's a lot of things I want to give you but I only have a piece of jade" "We should watch the moon together, my love"). At learning to show his feelings not only by actions but verbally as well, he allowed himself to go back to that phase where the development of his social skills stayed in pause. That's why the more he's developed this side of him, he's also allowed himself to become childish from time to time, bc a childhood where we are allowed to be kids is important in order for us to grow into ourselves. Zayne, alongside smart kids, mature kids, eldest parentified children missed part of this phase and of course it does have consecuences in our adulthood.

That is why, in part, for me Zayne feels so healing. He would take care of you, of course he would without you having to ask it of him but he also wants to be taken care of, even if he won't admit it openly. You can tell how guilty he felt when he told MC that she went through a lot of planning in order to prepare his birthday party while he didn't do anything and how she picked on it to the point to have to clarify that he should let ppl to take care of him too and after hearing that, the first thing he did was to ask her to feed him cake. In the Misty Invasion event, when he and MC are in the escape room and he keeps on falling bc of his shoes, he allows himself to get a bit playful and asks MC "you'll help me, right?" while tugging her sleve trying to act cute. In his Doomsday card, he did a biiit of a tantrum when MC didn't allow him to get his biscuits (and he got them anyway ahaha). He's starting to showcase all those childish traits he didn't allow himself to show when he was a kid because his relationship with MC has turned into a safe place to do so and of course he wants her to do it too. That's why in his last 4 stars card "Dream revisited" he talks about the importance of indulging in our childish side and how part of it is to be honest with your feelings without worrying about what others might tell.

To see him loosen up heals that part of me that was still recovering of the things I had to put up in my childhood. My personality is definitely not like Zayne's, like at all, but to see his writing is something I can relate to and how his development is about healing this neglected part of him feels so therapeutic. To think that he'd be the kind of man who understands how much you need to be taken care of and would do it for you happily while you are on the same side of the coin and would happily take care of him too but not this time bc it's what it's expected of you or bc he's useless at certain things, but because he needs it too but won't ask for it even tho he's earned it too, because you understand part of the loneliness that comes with being a caregiver but never the one who is in the reciving end. Zayne knows of your capabilities and knows that you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself but he also knows the comforting and healing feeling that comes with someone who tells you "I know you can do it but let me do it for you". Because he has always been perfectly capable of taking care of himself but who has told him the same words? Who has offered to take care of him? To accept someone taking care of you is to accept to be loved. To understand that to love is to take care of your loved person is to understand one of the many missions of what to love is. And believe me, he's pretty smart that I'm sure he's already picked on that.

To create a safe space to not to be perfect is what a relationship is about. That's why he indulges MC a lot, let's her sleep while he's willing to stay up late to buy tickets for their new travel, he would indulge into waking up late with her just to cuddle and take things slowly. To be childish because when we are children is when we are at our most vulnerable and we must be taken care of, to be an adult is not to get rid off of this need but to understand how important it still is.

Gods, I love Zayne so much.

[verstappentime]

i posted about this before, but let me (as a journalist irl) elaborate what's likely going on with daniel!!

when no one asked dan about his future during press day last week, we all automatically recognized this was probably the result of an embargo (we have quite a few f1 fans in the newsroom). stranger still that christian horner was in the TP conference and didn't speak on it either. we had expected that combo to make a sort of joint announcement.

so what's an embargo/how does it work?

essentially, it's when a source gives you any information ahead of time, but requests you do not publish anything on it until a certain date and time. this can be done for a lot of reasons. embargoes usually request that you refrain from sharing information from a press release or document.

usually embargoes are put in place so essentially you keep to your time table of when the information becomes "public," but news outlets aren't left scrambling because they have already written their story and have it ready to go live as soon as it's acceptable. in the case of f1 this also applies to instagram posts and things like that. that's why you'll often see the posts go live straight away when an announcement is made; everything's pre-confirmed & pre-written, they're just waiting for the green light.

if you violate an embargo in sports journalism, you'll likely have your credentials to, say, get into the press pen revoked. you/your outlet will no longer receive any privileged information. and you'll likely be asked to take it down. not for any legal reason -- you're just burning a bridge and violating trust. so this info COULD be leaked, but under the honor system, it rarely is. (especially bc if you post embargoed info & ruin your org's reputation with the source, you're probably losing your job.)

so what's going on in DR's case?

most likely, all credible sources have either A) been given the information under an embargo, or B) been told the time they can expect an embargoed press release. (i work with law enforcement, so for me this is usually just something like "you can expect the records to be sent out before dinner time friday night but it will be embargoed till 9 a.m. when they're officially public record.")

either way, everyone has probably been warned off asking those questions, but they also likely already know the answer. whatever they received, even if it doesn't reveal all the cards, most likely said daniel would not answer questions prior to the official release time and essentially, don't bother.

what's up with all the rumors?

essentially, when every credible source has their hands tied, there's no one to counter all the randoms. we see it all the time -- people yapping trading theories when we actually know what happened and can't say. unfortunately in f1 some of the randoms have some sort of name recognition -- and for some reason there are like 500 completely not credible news outlets full of untrue shit. so right now, they are the only people 1) free to bang on with theories and 2) who dont either have the info or know when the info is coming available. so that's allowing them to take up all the space.

conclusion: this isn't necessarily good or bad, but explains why we're hearing so many irrelevant people's opinions on this and not hearing anything from VCARB, daniel or his team. it was most likely done to give preferred sources the jump on announcing the news, but also to allow daniel to focus.

i'm assuming the embargo will be lifted monday morning european time, but we may hear a vague denial this weekend as theres probably some building frustration (like daniel saying yeah you'll see me in COTA or whatever).

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

im a trans boy who has grown up with very oppressive religious parents so ive never gotten the chance to experiment sexually or romantically with peers irl, im about to move to the city for college in the fall

(i will be living on campus with two roommates who i haven't met yet and i know basically nothing about, one of them i will be sharing a bunk bed with)

im really nervous about how im gonna do socially.. ive had a really hard time making and maintaining irl friends for like my entire life, which has been really upsetting for me obviously.

being able to experiment sexually is something im really wanting to do and im really really nervous about it, i know that the most straightforward advice is just "talk about it to people you wanna do sex stuff with" but like everything is new to me i havent had the chance to really socialize irl up until this point and now im being shoved into a group of other young adults who all have the prior experience of being well socialized and having complex interpersonal relationships with peers

i also feel extremely insecure about my lack of experience, like is it actually normal for someone my age to have never had a romantic or sexual encounter? are the things ive discovered and assumptions ive made about myself sexually through masturbating wrong?? i can't watch porn bc looking at strangers having sex grosses me out!! im pretty sure my front hole is like unnaturally tight?? anything wider than two of my fingers is uncomfortable and no matter how much prep and easing myself into it i do, it stays that way.. and i think my cervix is also lower than most, about 3-4 inches is the maximum that i can insert before i can feel it bump my cervix (which hurts REALLY BAD)

im just so nervous and scared about my own body and personality and all that andi don't know where to look for resources or reassurance. ive never been to the doctor for any kind of reproductive care and im really scared to!!! i live in a state that has completely outlawed abortion rights and im really scared that if i go to planned parenthood or something to get like a checkup that they will be mean and not gentle with me

i don't know, i guess im just looking to be heard and hopefully pointed towards some resources if anyone has any, thank you for the work you do and thank you for taking the time to read my panicked ramblings

hi anon,

there's a lot happening here so I'm just doing a numbered list

1.) man, how did the third guy luck out and avoid the bunk bed? you don't have to answer that, I'm just curious how you guys have already worked out that two of you are stuck with the bunk beds. unless you're into bunk beds (I was), in which case mazel tov.

2.) in the nicest way possible, I think you may be vastly overestimating how "well socialized" other students are going to be. reading between the lines a bit, it sounds like you were maybe home schooled, or at least don't have very much experience mingling with other people your age without adult supervision. I guarantee you every public school in the world is also full of introverted freak losers who rock up to college with no idea of what they're doing; I was one of them. the majority of first year college students are also running around panicking and trying to figure out how to be away from their parents for the first time; everyone is a loser and no one is cool.

would it comfort you at all to know that my day job is organizing events at my office's LGBT student resource center? I spend a lot of time hanging out with queer first year students, and I love them dearly, and they're all cringefail losers. it's unavoidable. every 18 year old is a cringefail loser. every single person on Earth looks back at their 18 year old self and goes "goddamn, what a cringefail loser." and it's fine! it's so normal! that's the entire point of your first year of college! you try things and you're socially awkward and you meet some of the most important people you will ever meet and you meet people whose opinions about you won't matter literally at all and you'll completely change how you think about everything for the rest of your life and you'll think you're going to die and everything will be fine!!!!

anyway moving on

3.) it's normal for anyone at any age to have never had a romantic or sexual encounter. I'm assuming you value my insight at least a little, since you sent this, so would it help you to know that I arrived at college as virginal as could be (wildly insecure about it, btw) and didn't have sex for the first time until I was almost 21? would it comfort you to hear from my housemate, also transmasculine, who gave me permission to share that they've never had sex and that none of their life problems really have anything to do with being a virgin?

4.) "are the things ive discovered and assumptions ive made about myself sexually through masturbating wrong??" hard to say, since I don't know what those things are, but probably not. it's extremely hard to get masturbating wrong, no one knows what feels good to you better than you. you're sort of an authority here. masturbating isn't exactly like partnered sex, of course, but it's a really good place to start learning about things that you like and make you feel good.

5.) everything you're describing about your front hole sounds very typical. two fingers is the max number of comfortable fingers for a lot of people, regardless of experience; often, taking something larger doesn't become easier until after having penetrative sex with a partner. average vaginal depth is about 3.6 inches, and while that can increase significantly with arousal, it's something that doesn't generally happen if you're not relaxed during sex. if I can be a bit presumptuous, it sounds like sex and masturbation are maybe a bit anxiety-inducing for you, in a way that is pretty much perfectly contradictory to comfortable penetration. if I can offer you some advice I wish I could give my younger self: calm the fuck down, buy some lube, stop worrying so much about making your body react the way you think it should and learn to appreciate what it's actually doing, and maybe see if your campus has some free therapy options available. anxiety meds probably wouldn't hurt this situation. also stop hitting your cervix if that hurts oh my god.

6.) Planned Parenthood is generally one of the best places to go if you're nervous; they're aggressively queer friendly and tend to be extremely accommodating of patients' needs. I personally do not care for penetration at all and have a difficult time with Pap smears, and every examiner I've ever had at PP has been an angel about letting me take breaks and swear my way through it. it ain't fun, but if you want to have an adventurous sex life you need to take care of the health of yourself and your prospective partners by getting STI tests and Pap smears.

you're so normal, calm down, I love you

[hollowed-theory-hall]

i don't remember in which book, but there is an episode where Narcissa takes Draco away from a clothing store (Madame Malkin, I think) because they cater to muggleborns. i understand it was a political statement...

but with that in mind, question is: how far is pureblood bigotry actually goes?

are there shops exclusively for purebloods and we just don't know about them bc harry didn't go there, or were they decades ago... do purebloods buy products invented by blood traitors like the Potters and Weasleys? after all, they are good quality, but it is not good to give money to dirt yk. at the same time, most shops probably fall away from public bigotry bc even if they are run by purebloods who believe in pureblood supremacy, they will still serve everyone, because money in the first place.

this is an interesting topic for research, in my opinion, and very comparable to reality

Like, my immediate answer was: Very far.

I mean, once the most blood purists of their society gain control of the ministry they are literally rounding up muggleborns to be sent to Azkaban.

That being said, casual blood purity, like you mention, seems to not go as deep as Narcissa would like you to believe. Like, we see Draco using Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder in book 6, which was invented and only sold by Fred and George. I think, like with a lot of irl bigotry, it's a lot of performance.

Like, blood purists would talk a lot about not buying from filth and mudbloods, but if a blood traitor has a good idea or a good product — they don't put their money where their mouth is. They'd buy from blood traitors and muggleborns if it's the better product. They do copy ideas from the muggles. Like, I'm sure blood purists who have access to the Floo ridicule the concept of the Hogwarts Express and the Knight Bus, thinking of them as filthy muggle inventions; but I'm certain they were all too glad to bring indoor plumbing into Hogwarts and their mansions because it's an invention they liked.

We also see a dark pureblood store like Borgins & Burkes hire filthy, poor, orphan Tom Riddle. He was good at his job, he probably wasn't paid a lot, and so it didn't matter his blood purist employers/customers thought he was a mudblood and filth if he was good at what he did. They'd hire, buy and sell to muggleborns and blood traitors if there is money on the line.

We see this attitude with Slughorn as well. He's surprised by Hermione and Lily being muggleborns and exceptional witches and potion makers because he doesn't expect it (the bigotry of low expectations, which we also see irl). But, he does invite them into the Slug Club and he expects them to then be able to get into positions they usually can't because he basically vetted them as 'talented filth'. They're okay and good to hire by purebloods because they're good at what they do. Now, I don't think Slughorn is a bad person, and he's actually doing a very useful service for talented muggleborns in the bigoted society they live in by opening doors for them, but I digress.

I think it's telling that an ancestral house of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, the "always pure", is a muggle house. Grimmauld Place is a house built by muggles, for muggles, that the Blacks decided to have as their own. They have muggle plumbing, muggle baths, muggle toilets, and muggle wallpaper, and they like it. but if you asked them, they'd call their house a "wizarding home", even if every brick was put in its place by muggles without a drop of magic.

We are told by Pottermore a good chunk of the Malfoys' inherited wealth is muggle. Their manor is also, most likely, muggle-built. They live their pureblood lifestyle, thinking themselves oh so much better than blood traitors when the food on their table was put there by muggle money. That the reason they can act the way they do, that they have more money than the Weasleys — is because their ancestors made business deals with muggles. And they know it but choose to pretend to have forgotten.

The point is, yes, blood purists would talk all day about how they want no filth in their house and how everything muggle is lesser, but when muggles/muggleborns/blood traitors have something good going, when they have a good product or are themselves talented, they'd be blind to their filthy blood for the sake of money/good idea. They'd tell themselves whatever lies they needed to tell themselves to believe they weren't blood traitors for installing a toilet. That they're not supporting muggle ideas by living off of muggle instructors.

They're bigoted hypocrites is what I'm saying.

[hatchetmanofficial]

ok. hear me out. alan's life is the funniest fucking thing, even if we're just looking at part of it - and today that part is probably how he got his job

since Alan likely hadn't known of supernatural shit before he decided to isolate in the woods, he was probably spooked a good few times or whatever

like, just imagine, this canadian dude is just sitting outside in the grass while looking at isopods and 'lil caterpillars, while also eating an ice cream sandwich, when, suddenly, standing right in front of him is carver's goofy-ah self being like "would you like a cup of tea and a glass of crackheadery, this fine evening, sir?" before punching him in the fucking face and dragging him out to hell

then, alan just has to have an existential crisis while trying to fight some british bitch with them 1-2-buckle-my-shoe sneakers who looks like the 17YO bad boy intern at the office in some who gets to fuck around and do whatever BC his dad's the CEO or whatever and BC it's a shitty YA book with no logic

and this is just how alan learns about the natural ecosystem of american fuckery before being handed a gun and told to go off someone or get ripped apart bone by bone BC, well, why not? and he just goes along with it, at first, out of pure fear; who wouldn't be scared of this kinda shit?

i mean, me, personally? if i saw the boss, i'd wanna tuck tail and head hell outta dodge; you don't fuck around in anywhere of america without losing a few fingers, or a whole limb; i'd sure as hell know from expirience (i'd put the shrugging emoji, but i can't even physically shrug anymore IRL, so, what's the point?)

TL;DR, alan's life sucks and i think about it...a lot...i guess

anyways, sorry if this makes no sense; i'm having citalopram withdrawals RN LOL

this is the funniest shit i've read

[messylesb]

okay so i’ve matched with a few ladies on dating apps and i don’t know how to start the conversations???? i don’t mean to be a loser who doesn’t know how to talk to people, but like i’ve never genuinely flirted with someone a day in my life and i don’t wanna start it off with a boring “hi!�� or “hey” LMAO. i’m sure you’ve had your fill with people asking basic questions about flirting and sparking convos with people you find attractive, but please i beg

this will be long so I'll put the cut right here and there's some topics. so first is the sparking conversation and creating opportunities for talking, then i talk ab the flirting

if someone else has more tips, helpful information, any corrections to what i said, please put in the comments and tags, i absolutely will be grateful bc i can't give an answer to this that would be conclusive 😭😭

listen, I'm not the best person to answer that. for context: because with the autism and being demiromantic (and demisexual in some level) and all, it's hard for me to develop a real contact with people which leads me to mask even over text sometimes - that's not to say I don't have good, fun and nice conversations with people, i absolutely do, but i truly need the other person to be into this so i can fully get into it over time and get used to it. not only that, but online contact is not the same as in person stuff. here i can have sexual conversations more easily because i have no irl contact. irl i need more physical moments with the person, being around them, having in person conversations - quality time if you will - and i have dozens of dozens of external factors I can't control (light, weather, sounds, the amount of people around, where i am exactly) and that will impact my mood, my expression, the level of masking; essentially everything in my social exchange. so it's harder.

with that being said, there's some things i usually ask/talk ab, because i genuinely want to get to know people and I'm interested on them as humans overall. don't be afraid to say "hii", be cliche or something, that's not as bad as it seems. you can say "heey i saw we matched, do you want to talk?", idk, be polite and express interest (I don't do dating apps and i know 0 about dating apps social conveniences, I'm saying based on what i usually do in regular conversations). if you're meeting them irl, there's nothing wrong in making small talk. other things i do, both irl and online:

- asking ab interests! music, movies, books, shows, hobbies, studies, job. i love getting to know that, bc i express a lot of myself through these things and i learned that others do the same. that's not a rule but it can happen, and sharing interests always gives more opportunities to other conversations and interactions, like exchanging memes, inside jokes. irl i also like to spend time doing something together: museum dates, library dates, movies, park; there's hundreds of possibilities. i truly enjoy the museum/library if the other person is into it because through talking ab these things you can learn a lot about them, their responses and ways of thinking, beliefs, etc.

- asking ab their day. i know it seems lame and basic. but you can talk abour what they do, if they have pets, if they like this or that;

- to me this is when I'm more comfortable with the person irl, which takes in consideration many things that I'll spare details, but inviting them over your place. to play some games, to spend time, to talk;

about the flirting: i think generally being comfortable with the person helps me. if we're talking ab a situation where both of you know there's an sexual tone and intention and interest, it's way easier (like around here, for example, if you slide in my DMs with a sexual tone, I'll suppose you want sexual conversation). but not everyone feels comfortable with the advance, or maybe they like to talk first and go tipping the waters slowly. if it's a situation where the sexual intention, or second intentions in general, isn't clear, I'd say talk a bit first and try to fit some things here and there. talk ab them being pretty in that photo, about them looking good while talking about their interests, about your reaction to them (does that way of talking make you feel things? do you think it's hot how they do something? do you find something attractive?) and see how they respond. also I don't know if it sounds ridiculous, but maybe... asking what they're looking for in a conversation on a dating app? bc i also wouldn't know wkdkkdd i guess it's supposed to be flirting all around so maybe let's start from that presupposition

there's no specific formula on this, which i truly lament about. i wish there was, trust me [*sweating, gripping my clothes and trying not to freak out about social interactions in general*]. if you have specific questions, you can always ask in the comments and also i will put this on general tags so people can see it and insert their tips

this was long and i feel like i was rambling. if it's nonsense, do let me know, but i hope it was somehow helpful. I'm 0 sure about this, again, the autism makes it extremely hard but this is what i could piece together up until this point in my very humble and quiet life.

[thedarkmongoose]

SPOILERS: i have mixed feelings about the bear s3 but knowing that s3 & s4 were written/filmed at the same time makes sense. s4 will prob answer s3's q's. (A LOT was left open-ended) usually i love that, but it felt like the show lost itself in certain places, esp the self-indulgent finale. all stories are indulgent to some degree, but too much decadence rarely leaves room for substance.

and i get why they tried to do the chef's table thing, but other than andrea, syd, and luca, everyone else's acting was disjointed and trite. but i loved ep 1; it was an ethereal, artsy, meditative piece (peace) that was necessary after the chaotic s2 finale. however, as a big fan of the show, it was hard for me to finish the eps.

the standout in s3 FOR SURE was tina's ep - directed by ayo. glad we got her backstory. personally i liked her anxiety-inducing job hunt bc it's really like that irl, esp for older woc. the sobbing while eating a free sandwich was relatable, and the mikey convo was super impactful. but as much as i loved the ep, it still felt superficial compared to s2 'forks' (richie) or 'honeydew' (marcus). we never see her son again either; all we get is tina yelling at him to quiet down.

then there was marcus's mother's funeral which seemed like it was going to be more central to the plot than it was. i wish we got more. and claire is still one of the most underwritten characters EVER. nothing about her or the mis en scène really sells it that she's a doctor lol. and the scene with the faks trying to apologize on carmy's behalf was beyond cringe. i like matty matheson - i have his cookbook, but there was entirely too many faks in s3.

and let's be real: where was ebra & sweeps? ebra has such an interesting story that i'm HOPING we get to see in s4. sweeps too - he tried out for the chicago cubs! but on a positive note, i loved the chemistry between syd/luca. it was v sweet and organic. wonder if they'll be a thing in s4 since luca is carmy's foil. too bad marcus was barely in s3, tho the hug between him & luca at the party was cute. syd's meltdown mirroring carmy's in s2 was also a nice touch.

idk how to feel about sugar's labor scene. most praise it, but it didn't hit the same for me. donna's over-acting (the whole series) is really distracting and i can't take her seriously. ik she's supposed to be mentally unwell, but it borders on cartoonish. the hospital moment was heartwarming, but again, artificially. and pete was so underwritten too, just so they could have that mom moment. i liked the scene with him and syd tho. it felt authentically awkward.

i also understand what they were trying to do with the finale, but it was a flop for me. the scene with andrea/carmy staring out into the chicago night was introspective and beautiful, but the msg doesn't hit all the way bc we have a group of wealthy celeb chefs saying it's okay to stop while you're ahead and enjoy life while you can. every second counts. unfortunately for those who are not celeb chefs, it's not that easy to simply "enjoy life."

on one hand, i agree that food is life and restaurants have been community "third places" forever (essential to life itself; historically, like when revolutionaries would gather at pubs or cafes). however, do i think that fine dining and the "art" that comes with it is necessary? no. if there were more spots like the original beef/bear in the world tho, that would be a good thing.

[polyamorouspunk]

unfortunately if you call 911 for medical they still send cops no matter what, which i learned as a teen when i called and asked them to not send cops and they were like sorry we can't we have to send cops every time. learning basic first aid lessens the amount you need to call, which is also great because most people don't have the money for the ER (which is thousands and thousands of dollars per trip) and being able to do basic wound care like stitches is an important part of taking care of one another under capitalism. if the injury is too bad but the person is safe to be moved, drive them to the ER yourself or call a comrade with a car. if the person isn't safe to be moved or no one can get there fast enough, make sure to tell EVERYONE around you that you have to call 911 so everyone has time to leave before the cops get there. remember, do not talk to the cops at all once they get there, if they try to make small talk do not respond, every conversation with a cop no matter how innocent seeming is a part of their job which is to gather information on your comrades and connections. talk directly to the EMTs and ignore the cops as much as possible.

i have some other standard anarchist advice for navigating situations without involving the police but its too long to fit in an ask. im thinking about writing a zine since it seems to be something only people irl know a lot about and online punks dont know much. i learned from the irl scene so yeah before joining it i didnt really know all the ways you can just never involve the cops bc society brainwashes you to think you have to call them a lot. maybe making it online would make it more accessible to u guys too :]

.

[streamdotpng]

tell more about this new streamer au u've mentioned bc im very interested

So it starts with an game

You can vc and shit this game too and it was very very popular. You could choose whether to be a normie or an outcast, there were several jobs that one can take and quests with challenges.

Overall a really fun game bc you can either play with friends and build a land with them or play solo and try to complete everything

Think of uh, genshin! But you can customize and level up your character + it being constantly multi-player unless you go to your own private land that you can buy or get from quests

you can also unlock elusive powers as an outcast if you complete certain quests as well.

It was called, Jericho Online bc I can't think of a better name rn 😅

So it starts with Pugsley who starts badgering to thirteen year old Wednesday to join him in playing the game

Wednesday joins begrudingly, tired of all his incessant whining and also because the words of player killing caught her attention

Enid, whos been playing with pugsley is interested immedietely when the two log in. Going !? And circling the newcomer

Wednesday immedietely plays chase and that's the start of a new friendship, with Enid going !?!!!! And Wednesday pulling out her starter knife bc she's supposed to kill this monster

Enid's character is obviously a werewolf, one of the most famous race type in Jericho but there's a catch

Due to high demand, the devs has given a roll of chance to anyone who plays this race. Bc of this you could be an alpha, beta or cursed

Alpha's usually have a better chance to land a critical hit (aka better crit rate in their base form)

Beta is normal, your stats don't change.

Cursed are left unable to shift, which is an ability that all werewolves have where their crit dmg and crit rate is multiplied by two during full moons (which actually follows the irl moon cycle and there are usually combat events/bosses around then who drop really good loot)

This ability is really really good when you have the right artifacts and is part of the reason why so much people choose werewolves

Enid unfortunately, is a cursed and so she sulks with her amazing artifacts with the knowledge that it could be better if she just shifts

Continuing! Wednesday chose to be a psychic and ends up with the sub ability to summon ink creatures at her will. Aka be a beast tamer of some sort

The catch is, she has to kill the creature and subdue it first before she can acquire them into her slots. She is only allowed five creatures in battle so she has to choose carefully aswell

Being a beast tamer is pretty fun but it's lowkey like playing Pokémon so not alot of people liked to use it

Anyways abilities over

Wenclair plus pugsley go have fun, they start raiding dungeons, doing quests together until pugsley drops out from uninterest like a few months in

Enid understands, Wednesday doesn't care and so Wenclair continue their journey of beating absolute ass in this game because wednesday is competitive and Enid is happy to be there

They grind for the absolute best of artifacts and spend so much time on better weapons, it's almost like they're addicted

And honestly? Wednesday was having fun. There was a joy in being able to calculate how well you can do if you wear this goblet that raises your elemental dmg or if you lvl up this skill to a certain lvl you can beat absolutely everyone

(and maybe, planting lil carrots infront of Enid's house isnt so bad)

Enid while competitive, was having fun decorating her lil land far from Jericho. It was like a lil hobbit hole, with greens and vines and dim lighting because wednesday can never stand the bright lights that were originally hung up and vehemently refused to visit if they were there

"you're like a vampire!" Enid says in the in game comm

Wednesday tsks "a vampire who isn't afraid to pk you, Sinclair."

"you're so mean Willa," sinclair, Enid's username, whines.

Willa, Wednesday's own in game username, just hurls her dagger at the sulking blond.

"Wha- HEY!"

So they play and play and omy?

They get married?

Interesting, so it seems that in the second year anniversary of Jericho (when Wenclair are fourteen) the devs decided to have a lil romance for the lonely people and give the ability to marry

Why are Wenclair married? Well, obviously for the benefits. You get 3x the xp when doing quests, challenges and missions together, not to mention that the probability of getting better artifacts and quality quests skyrocket by 5 percent

Like sure you have to share land and divorcing means losing half your gold but it's fine!!

It's with the status of married does Wenclair stumble across a secret quest

The tale of Crackstone

By the third year (Wenclair are now 15) of playing and finishing of the tale, Enid's status as cursed shifts to bludhound.

They celebrate, theyre having fun and theyre practically a married couple. Wednesday insists to go to a dungeon and Enid wants to do a world quest instead

The two settle these disputes with any challenges. They're kids, theyre having fun and if Wednesday looks forward to spending time with Sinclair so much that she bought a pc for herself then that's for her to know.

It's been three years and theyre practically inseparable! The two playing everyday just to spend as much as time together

Until Enid mentions that she won't be so active in a few days.

Why? Willa asks in chat. Are you getting kidnapped?

Course not!! Sinclair replies. Why do you always think I'm being kidnaped??

^n E ways imma be movin so I'll be bz :( can't play much bc we Goin out a state

Wednesday pauses then she squints, there's a feeling in her gut.

Ok, is willa's simple answer. Get online when you come back, we still need to investigate Crackstone's crypt.

Kk! Sinclair cheerily replies. Bye bye Willa, cya in a few dayyysssss

Sinclair has logged out the world.

Wednesday tilts her head a tad and there's a crease on her brow as she sits in her chair. She continues playing, making sure to check over the crops one more time before turning in for the night.

Crackstone's crypt is left uninvestigated for years

Sinclair inbox: 99+ unread messages!

[ticklystuff]

:O for the team ask game! Kafka, Black Swan, Ruan Mei, and Luocha (I love women (I love twinks (I love women & twinks))) I can't tell if my team is good or bad honestly :'D

ask game is closed!

hello~ you are so valid lmao luocha is one of the girlies (also yes your team is quite good from a gameplay perspective)

also sorry i don't think i totally understand black swan's character yet so i might be a little inaccurate when it comes to her!

who’s the most ticklish character

i think it'd be ruan mei! she doesn't really mind, though, and i think she'd be interested in why she's so ticklish compared to her teammates or why people laugh when tickled. yeah tbh i think she'd find tickling fascinating because what is the evolutionary advantage of being born with a trait that can be so debilitating

who’s the character that most people would assume isn't ticklish, but actually is

black swan because she literally does not have a body lmao BUT you can still tickle her in dreams and such! it surprised her too when she first became a memokeeper and felt the light breeze tingle against her back in a dream like bruh what was even the point of giving up your body if you can still feel stuff asdlkfjs

who’s the character that everyone gangs up on and tickles

oh it's absolutely luocha because he's the only guy on the team and you cannot convince me that kafka doesn't get the others to tickle him to tears. she tells him that it could be ten times worse but they don't want to ruin his pretty face~ also they'd love to tease him to get him to reveal his true identity like "are u really a merchant? what's in that coffin of yours hm?"

who’s the character that somehow knows everyone else’s tickle spots and reveals them to others

oh it is absolutely black swan because she collects memories due to her memokeeper job, so she knows where everyone has been tickled and which spots are the best. she wouldn't go around spreading them so blatantly though but might subtly drop a spot like "ah luocha, i came across the cutest memory of your friends tickling you~ i think they were counting your ribs? absolutely heartwarming." also i've mentioned this before but ruan mei would be good at guessing just based on the vibes people give off

who's the character with one specific tickle spot that only one other person knows about

ok idk if you remember but during the recent story quest but there was a shot of black swan's back turned to the camera and there was a good view of the beauty mark on her back which i'm pretty sure they wanted to show off for whatever reason but ya kafka saw the beauty mark too and was like "you got a bit of dirt there, pretty lady" and gave her a poke and when black swan jumped she was just like "whoops~"

who’s the most likely to win gang tickle wars

i'm going to assume these tickle wars occur in a dream bc well black swan does not have a body and she has the ability to choose who gets to see her so you probably can't tickle her irl and that's just not fair lol but even in a dream it's still black swan! like have you seen her burst?? she summons those giant arms and they have claws too!! and she can make people forget things for a moment, so they're like what were we doing again?? but ya black swan is the tickle monster if black swan chooses to play fair, then it's kafka because kafka comes from a place where the people do not feel fear (her backstory makes her sound like some eldritch horror) so she will do absolutely anything to win. also she still has the ability to influence people's minds and can use that to turn the tables when things do start getting bad like "listen, you will tickle luocha"

which character has a kink for tickling

i feel like the easy answer here is kafka so maybe her? BUT i just have this feeling in my soul that would luocha would have a tickle kink too idkidk he's giving me "magikarp in the streets, gyarados in the sheets" vibes, like i just feel that he's into some shit more out there than just tickling, but also tickling is one of his kinks

which character didn’t even know they were ticklish until another character tickled them

kafka because no one has ever tried to tickle her before because of how turly frightening she is but black swan does not fear her and since she does not have any memories of kafka being tickled, she had to just create some for herself

which two characters have tickle fights all the time

i think ruan mei would have this one-sided interest in tickling black swan because how does being a memokeeper work? does she feel tickles the same way humans do? will she get tired when tickled for long periods of time or is her energy endless? these are all questions that black swan has answered for her already but ruan mei will still go out of her to try and tickle her from time to time i think kafka would also bully luocha because only one of them can be aloof and mysterious. she later finds out that luocha is actually a pretty skilled tickler too when he wants to be and she has to put a lot more effort into these things than initially expected

[ouroboros-hideout]

Time to go to Rewe and stock up on groceries for the house of Baddieghest! Shopping list: — 1 kg of Po-ta-toes — Aon — 1 Avocado — Aon as well — 100 soft dark Tomatoes — Vlad (don't buy, just throw at him) — 1 Lemon — each of them (since a certain oversized gollum stole all of them) If your credit balance is too low for the purchase, call mom Jago!

Time to make some salad of the things our circus director brought to the house. Italy won't get anything of it tho. She would only complain about it anyway bc there are potatos in it. Absolutely no taste.

AON

🥔 [POTATO] What do they have that others see as a flaw, but they don't care about?

Maybe her bossy attitude of “You can't tell me shit” and her tone in general. She can be very compassionate, but she's always walking a fine line between “okay, I'm being really nice and empathetic this time" or "lol get your shit together and stop whining.” But it's always been her way of saying what she thinks rather than wrapping the person she's talking to in a blanket just to create a sense of fake comfort. She's been through way too much shit in her life to care who she might offend or not. Deal with it, or get lost.

🥑 [AVACADO] What will they never back down about, even if it makes them seem bad?

I think the thing you can blame her most for is her work. It's not exactly a respectable job, manufacturing war machines and weapons, but it fills her with pride when she completes a big project. Building machines is her passion. That particular type of machine maybe wouldn't have been her first choice, but having already learned a lot about it while studying at SovOil, she stuck with it during her time with the Nomads and refined her skills. After all, it's lucrative because the world is just a rotten place and she has to look after her people. Is it reprehensible that people are being killed with the weapons she makes? Sure. But if it's not her weapon, then it's someone else's. Maybe she’s too pessimistic to think that anything in this society would change anymore. In a sense of: I could make this world a better place if I instead would do xy.”  

🍋 [LEMON] What is their kryptonite/ultimate weakness?

People she loves and cares about. She’s really protective for her found-family, especially for those she knows are no fighters or would struggle to defend themselves in a dangerous situation. She’s not overly protective of the ones she knows can handle themselves, like Kurt for example, but that doesn't mean you couldn’t do a lot of damage to her if something happens to him or any other person that’s close to her. 

VLAD

🍅 [TOMATO] How misunderstood is your OC? In-universe or IRL.

Misunderstood in the sense that it's hard to believe that there's still something human/empathetic in him that just can't come to the surface anymore and that's quite an inner struggle for him sometimes. Like: fighting the beast inside and knowing that you're gonna lose anyway. So of course everyone sees him as the cold-blooded bastard with the psycho mindset because that's the only thing that comes to the outside. That's why he's not really misunderstood, but there would certainly be an opportunity to understand him on a different level if someone had the chance to delve deeper into this man's mind. Though there is no way to repair the damage that’s done so it only would be a thing to satisfy curiosity instead of trying to fix something. 

🍋 [LEMON] What is their kryptonite/ultimate weakness?

Could be two things. One is his physical weakness, one is his mental weakness. Physically his artificial heart. Like in a natural body it’s the core of his whole system and if it fails everything else shuts down as well. He surely would have a bigger time window until all the other inner modifications of his body stop working completely but if you really want to take him out the best way would be to rip that thing out of his chest. 

On a psychological level it’s when he’s “getting aware of his condition”. He sometimes has very rare and short moments of clarity, where he knows that something is wrong inside his head. Those moments are triggered by strong emotions both positive and negative and affects him like “a glitch in his system”. He gets more careless, confused or even has a short blackout. Surely could be something that can be used against him, tho it is a bit of a gamble to trigger such a moment on purpose. 

[itsjaywalkers]

how do you plan to survive in jegulus fandom when everyone hates each other? how it will work in a long run and what newcomers should do? how are we supposed to know what fics not to read and with whom do not interact and what events not to join?

honestly nonnie i get where the fear and concern come from, bc this fandom is a shitshow and i've never been in one that it's this Bad or Miserable but also . it has brought me a lot of wonderful ppl?? art that i adore and that has inspired me and continues to do so?? sure, a part of it fucking sucks, but that's true for every fandom, even if the marauders fandom IS worse than others

i can assure u, not everyone hates each other. i'm friends with many ppl who are incredibly dear to me, and who i trust and admire and i love!! and there's others who i'm not as close to but who i also get along with really well, and the content i get on my dash is almost always nice?? and lovely?? and interesting?? idk, apart from random hate asks (and i couldn't care less about those) the time i spend here in tumblr participating in fandom is more often than not fun and fulfilling

and newcomers should do the same i did when i first got into the fandom, and what everyone else before me has done. get to know other ppl. decide by themselves who and what they like. block or mute what they don't. focus on everything they're passionate about and ignore the rest. fandom is about having fun and about community. yes, ofc you're gonna encounter assholes and have to deal with shitty situations but that's just part of it. it can't be Good and Perfect all the time

regarding fics or ppl or events, again, it's all up to u. i think most of us are old enough to make our own assumptions and choose by ourselves. if ur wary about something or someone, then u can ask around and then decide depending on ur own ideals or what's more worth it to u. this is just fandom, and most of the time, it's never that deep. like, i have a life outside of tumblr and ao3 and anything marauder related, and half of the shit that goes down here doesn't matter irl?? why the fuck should i care about some anonymous asshole telling me im awful at writing or that jegulus sucks when i have bills to pay and friends who love me and a job i need to go to five days a week (ofc there are exceptions and sometimes problems can be genuinely serious and severely affect real ppl but u get what i mean)

my point is . i understand where ur coming from bc this fandom is a nightmare but also . it's just fandom . if it's too much and it's not worth it then u don't have to get involved At All and still enjoy it from the outside

and regardless, i promise u it's not half as bad as u painted it out to be

[mysteryshits]

FYODOR RAMBLE

Well fyodor's character is dismissed with having a God complex when in no way does he have one!

He's actually stated multiple times that he is a follower believer in God. Going as far as calling himself a servant of God. In a religious context when someone uses servant they are extremely devoted and have deep belief in said religion.

Also fyodor has hinted at things that have been said/implied in the Bible so we do know he's well educated on it, because he is a devoted follow. One of the things he says is " I'll make this the promise land " (or something similar) in the Bible the promise land is a holy place the first generation of God's people couldn't get to. Fyodor sees ability users as sin itself so he wants to get rid of them. Because he wants to make the holy place. That's a very important part of his character.

Religion is a VERY big part of his reasons and character. And I hate seeing people disregard it so much. Like THAT HIS WHOLE BASICALLY!! Fyodor is extremely devoted to his beliefs and values his reasons. Although he does Fyodor also likes seeing people get karma for their actions. For what they have done. He can't see that happening unless something is flawed. ALTHOUGH he wants a promise land.

Idk I am not even providing evidence for all this. Asagiri did such an amazing job writing Fyodor. He gave him humanity well also demonizing his actions because what he's doing is wrong. Religion itself is not sinful or bad, but people use it to do bad things. We can acknowledge that fyodor being religious isn't itself bad, but how his devotion in itself is bad. Due to his devotion he's able to do horrible things without feeling guilty because he sees it for the betterment of the world.

I'm very glad asagiri took the time to look in on Orthodox Christianity, because that's the religion Fyodor follower. (That's the religion irl dostoevsky believed in).

Side thought, if Fyodor wants to get rid of ability uses because he sees them as sin. Would he go as far as getting himself killed to complete it? It's said to be a sin to kill yourself, but if Fyodor gets himself killed he isn't necessarily doing it himself. If Fyodor finally gets rid of all ability users and he's the last one, then he hasn't really finished his "mission". Although it isn't said, some do kill themselves for their religion. Sometimes bc they believe it to be right, others because they may have gone against their religion and feel guilty. Fyodor wouldn't technically be suicidal. BUT he would be placed under it due to trying to get himself killed. We know he doesn't have a god complex, we know he puts value in those who can get the job done.

What's gonna happen when he inevitably doesn't get the job done, because he's still an ability user that's alive in the end. We know religion is very dear to him. So then how would he feel when his religious beliefs and values fall apart?

ANYWAY that's all hope you enjoyed this ramble if you read it. I just love Fyodor and his character so much.i had to get this all off my chest. <3!!!

[the80srewinders]

What the fuck is wrong with your cyber dependent ass. Why the fuck do you hate people who go offline for five minutes. Oh, yeah, because you're too retarded and crippled to have a life outside of the Internet you worthless fuck. Real people with real trauma don't spend that much time online you dumbfuck. Real people with real trauma have real jobs and therapy, shit you don't have or else your pussy ass wouldn't throw around sui threats. Your Internet addicted trauma-free weak ass and zoomer screen zombies like your poser ass are why we have so many fucking toxic DID communities, and fucking frankly, why we have only DID communities because you fake ass fucks are fascinated by DID. I've already called out your fake pussy ass for faking CSA, your last post just gave me another tool in exposing your faker poser ass. I mean, we all know you're faking trauma and DID because you admitted yourself you ain't got shit that the "valid survivors" do and that's your fucking words not mine. Instead of chronic pain, chronic fatigue or chronic illness, your weak pussy ass ended up chronically online and we all know chronically online people don't have shit wrong with them physically and you can fucking bet they never had trauma a day in their lives. People who use the Internet too much like you are toxic ass bimbos. I hope your iPad gets taken away so you can finally go out into the real world, touch some fucking grass and for God's sake, get raped while you're at it. Then you'll know the pain us real trauma survivors deal with.

poor attempt at tryna be "gangsta" 😹

first off i wouldn't be cyber dependent or wtv if we had people irl who supported us besides therapists, you don't know the situation you're just jumping to conclusions because you're a bigot

i don't hate people who go offline. I hate people who hate technology, hate the Internet, etc. and I hate people who are dumb like u n generalize the Internet as a whole as bad when it's not, it's js trolls like u on social media that make ppl think dat

besides resources on the Internet saved our life at our most low points, ofc wed defend technology especially Internet, how fkn ableist can u b

thanks, I already knew that and yk what? I can fucking kms if it would make u feel better bc I've hated myself for those reasons years before i was allowed on the internet 😘

first off... do u even hv real trauma? sure doesn't sound like it from the asks u been sendin atp or else you'd know us trauma survivors flock online bc it's a dangerous thing to talk ab irl. for reasons I shouldn't hv to state if ur a real trauma survivor. which I doubt u r 😹

your ask about me faking CSA because I wasn't hypermobile is a line of shi. ain't no1 out there who's rly been sa'd gon believe that or u.

uh bish how the fuck do u know wat I do and don't? for your fuckin information I hv been in therapy for DID treatment since dx in Nov 2022. n js bc I can't get legally employed doesn't mean I don't do shi for ppl that the body is able to do, which ain't much but it's smt like u js be tryna judge my life and what u think I do atp

also ik wtf i said.

I ain't fascinated by DID bitch I wish I didn't live w it. if u actually read any of my posts on our personal experiences you'd know how much I hate it. but mk, that doesn't fit wit ur narrative so u had to gloss over dat n move on

haha u contradict urself here. "chronically online people don't have anything wrong with them physically" bitchhh do u hear urself how u sound. first u were goin off on me bc I was too "crippled" which is an ableist slur for a physically disabled person now ur sayin I ain't got shi wrong w me. damnnn you js hate chronically online ppl atp like wtf is ur problem. being online literally every hour ur awake isn't healthy n I don't stand for dat but I also don't do dat either 😘 I'm online a lot and never go outside unless it's to go out in public but I do hella offline indoor activities too, bc yk that's a thing

i know imma bimbo, ur js jealous bc u don't have a sex life 😘 maybe if you stopped touching grass youd hv a sex life too

i already said this before n I ain't gon say it again i neva had an ipad. also thanks for telling me to get raped, i actually hv hundreds of times n as much as dat sounds like a stretch or made up, I can assure u 100% it's true n my fkn body is messed up from being raped so many fkn times. I've been raped again this yr and u don't know how many times I get sa'd by family members. u ain't no real trauma survivor or else u wouldn't wish dis on som1. fuck you bish.