#having fun with photoshop to fight the blues

[disneyprincemuke]

midnights, 10.2 * mv1

you drop your head with a small smile. "only if you promise to pick me up?"

through his own tears, max laughs and throws his head back. it's a familiar line - one you said when he first asked you out all those years ago. he squeezes your hand and shakes it. "only if i get to send you home after."

but you sigh tiredly, resting your head in your hand. "are you sure about this, max? what if we only hurt each other more?"

"it's a risk i'm willing to take," he admits. "because it's you."

because he can't bear to watch you walk out of that door again without a fight. the pain he endured for months leading up to tonight felt like it could last forever - like he'd never get around to getting over you.

nothing in his life has ever been so clear: it's always been you, and it's always going to be you.

there's nobody else for him.

"and if we do, at least we know we tried," max whispers, dropping his head. "if it were up to me, i'd do this over and over and over again... if it means i get to be with you for the rest of my life."

“how sure are you of this, max?”

“i’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”

"i love you," you smile, starting to feel yourself calm down. a weight has lifted off your shoulders and you instantly feel a tinge of churning in your stomach. "i missed you."

"i missed you more," max sighs, adjusting himself to wrap his arms around your smaller frame. "i miss the way you smell and the way you'd smile at me. i miss your bowl of scrunchies; you have a point making it the table's centrepiece, you know?"

you grin, leaning into his touch. "i'm an interior designer secretly."

"it's what made our home," he sucks in a deep breath, "a home. i hated being there when you were away."

"i hated my apartment without you in it," you confess, a hand holding onto his arm for dear life. “i missed you and the cats.”

you don't know how to convince yourself that this isn't a dream. you don't want to open your eyes and then realise that none of this is real and max is never yours again.

“we’ll do it right this time,” max mutters against your skin with a smile. “i promise i won’t give up on us. you're stuck with me."

"i wanna be stuck with you," you giggle, nuzzling your cheek into his skin. "i'm sorry i wasn't with you when you won the title this year."

"it's alright. we'll just photoshop a picture of us together," max presses a kiss to the top of your head and rubs the exposed skin on your arm, "and then we'll frame it as our biggest picture in the house. we'll tell our kids about it."

"how we photoshopped it?"

"no, how we most definitely celebrated my third title together. we had so much fun, don't you remember?"

"i must be having memory issues. i'm too young for that, max."

"i will take care of you, duh? i'll remind you every single day how much i love you, and you love me." he moves slightly, adjusting so that he can see your face. he brushes the hair away from your face and tucks it behind your ear. “just the way it should be.”

“i’m scared, max. what if we’re never the same again because of this?” it’s a concern that’s been eating at you for the past couple minutes. while being in max’s arms is an ideal situation, what if it’s different this time?

max knows what you mean. he’d also been scared of that. after all the words said, the hurt you caused each other, and those accusations that may never be fully solved — what if you never fall back into what you’re used to?

what if you fall into the same old routine where you’re just fighting again?

“we’ll figure something out, i’m sure,” max cups your cheeks, swiping away the tear stains on your face. “it won’t always be this way. it will get better, i promise.”

you close your eyes, leaning into his touch. a hand comes up to rest over his and you trace shapes on his skin. “i don’t want to hate you.”

“hey,” max’s stern yet gentle tone makes you open your eyes, meeting his cool blue eyes staring into yours with a glimmer you’re unable to fathom. “one step at a time. we will be okay. i will make sure of it.”

you nod and give him a small smile. “one step at a time.”

max smiles, squeezing your cheeks. “i love you.”

he pulls you in gently, one hand coming down to the back of your neck. “you are the only one for me,” he says against your lips, smiling before your lips touch.

you’re overwhelmed by the familiarity of his taste and the way he smells — his perfume bringing you back to a time where your relationship had been so simple. the way his hands feel against your skin and how his lips are moving along with yours fills you with unexplainable joy.

your hands clutch on the material of his shirt by his shoulders, having no idea how much you craved his touch and his sweet words.

he pulls away breathless, giggling dizzily when you lean forward to chase for his touch. he swipes his thumb over your lips to wipe himself off of you. he rests his foreheard on yours.

“do you want to go dance? i know you’re not much of it but we are at a party, after all.”

you smile toothily. you nudge your head to bump his nose. “only if it’s with you.”

taglist: @merchelsea @leclercdream @labelledejourr @laneyspaulding19 @lpab @graciewrote @hollie911 @thatsojasminesworld @mycenterfold @princessria127 @ironmaiden1313 @dl-yum @crlsummer @brekkers-whore @minkyungseokie @honethatty12 @barelytolerabled @vellicora @lokigoeschoki @avg-golden-retriever @lokigoeschoki @cherry-piee @eviethetheatrefreak @hrlzy @dear-fifi @telengraph

[vertigoartgore]

Dave Johnson : "Blah,biddy,blah,blah,blah. What's there to say ? I did design the new Punisher logo. Pretty happy with it. The cover itself is OK. Not my favorite by any means. But then they can't be all my favorites."

Dave Johnson : "Tried to get that quiet mean vibe. The 'he's so bad, he doesn't need a million guns to kill you' look. And yes, after doing it I realized the Venture Bros. skull thing going on. Wasn't my intent. But what are you gonna do? It was bound to happen.

100% real paint on rough watercolor paper."

Dave Johnson : "Half traditional/ half photoshop."

Dave Johnson : "This one feels a bit like Steranko. I guess I could have sealed the deal by adding a swirling , hypno graphic to one of the backgrounds to really drive it home, but that really wasn't what I set out to do. I'm really enjoying the fact that since I re-designed the logo, I can now use it in the overall design as opposed to letting it just sit there on top of the page getting in my way like most comic cover trade dress. Too bad I still have to deal with the horrible scourge called the UPC box. I mean, seriously !?! Does it have to be so freaking BIG ! Not at all. But nobody wants to rock the boat in the name of beauty."

Dave Johnson : "Red, red, red. Why do I love that color so much? It dominates my work like skulls dominate Mignola's work. My chair is red, I got 2 cars that are red. Devilpig is red. My homemade Samurai armor is red. 

Oh well, why fight it. We all like what we like. It's just that simple.

Damn Equis !

*note* X-Ray is a photo that was manipulated to show all the broken bones. Except the pinky. Because Punisher can kill you with just his pinky. He's just that bad ass."

Dave Johnson : "Ahhhh, Bullseye. You really know your way to my heart."

Dave Johnson : "What a crazy cover. To me, it just screams "insane" ! Maybe I was inspired by a certain DA member that entered into my life recently. Even though I did it before he started sending me death threats (haha) I guess I had an episode of fore sight."

Dave Johnson : "Even though I haven't posted the cover to no.7 yet (because I still need to finish it) I'm posting this. It's a 5 issue story arc involving the character Bullseye. So, I'm trying to do 2 things.

To have every cover involve a bullseye graphic element (so far, so good)

To do all the covers using a blue color palette to reference the original costume of Bullseye (even though the character in this story never dons the outfit)

Also, I realize this cover is kind of a book end cover to an earlier Punisher cover. This one… [link]

But hey, it just worked out that way. If I'd have know that Bullseye was coming up in my future I might have not done the earlier cover. But that said, I wasn't about to NOT do this cover because of that. It fits to well with the story.

But maybe I'm thinking about it too much because the reality is, that it's a stupid comic book cover and the world will go on as is, no matter what I do, haha."

Dave Johnson : "I really had a good time on this one. Bullseye looks like he's really lost it and has become obsessed with getting into Punisher's head.

I gotta say, in some ways this cover assignment has been more fun than 100 Bullets covers. And that's saying a lot. Plus, about a week ago, I was talking to Tim Bradstreet. He said that if I ever needed a fill-in he'd be happy to do so. I told him 'he's have to pry it from my cold, dead hands'. Hahaha."

Dave Johnson : "Ahhh, the Bullseye motif is in effect for one more cover. Actually, I have one more to do with this story line. The writer (Jason Aaron) said that Frank wears a gas mask in this issue. Which is crazy timing because I had started to write back and forth with this guy :icondarkasylumxxx: about a trade. Art for a gas mask. He had asked if I could use his gas mask design on a cover, and I told him that kind of stuff was in the writers hands not mine.

Crazy how the universe works like that."

Dave Johnson : "Hot of the presses. The last cover for the "Bullseye" story line. The bullseye motif was fun to play with. And I can't wait to see what comes next for ol' Punisher. I'm willing to money on the fact that whatever happens, it'll be mondo violent."

Dave Johnson : "Man, this cover fought me all night. I started around 11pm with a basic idea of Punisher holding prison bars so tight that blood was coming outta his hands. But the execution eluded me until 4:30am. The angle I liked, but how to make it say 'Punisher' ? Then the idea of the key brought it all home. Finished it up by 6am and off to Marvel on the East coast just in time for them to get it when they open up the doors. Yeah me!

I think this is my favorite Punisher cover so far. Not sure what you'll think, but I'm sure you're tell me, haha.

Going to go to bed now. I feel like a vampire.

Update Got this response from :iconprimeless: "I'm nobody, so I guess my words will mean nothing to you. Also, my art won't ever be as good as yours. I love this cover as I'm fan of your work, but I continue thinking that your work for 100 bullets is the best you ever did.

The reason is that i find that the Key is saying that "Punisher got somebody into jail" not that "punisher is in the jail".

Sorry. My english is not very nice."

And here's my response: "The cover is not meant to be taken as a literal statement. It's main purpose is to tell you 1. It's a Punisher book 2. It takes place in prison. Obviously, the key isn't a real key. It's a story telling device. Whether or not you personally see it "Punisher got somebody into jail" or "punisher is in the jail". Without the key, it's just a guy holding onto prison bars. With it, it's a guy who, may or may not be Punisher. The goal is to make you pick up the book and find out."

Posting this because I thought it would clarify any future questions. Thanks"

Dave Johnson : "It's a simple cover with a simple idea. Punisher is prison, prisoners not happy about it. Rinse, repeat. Call me in the morning."

Dave Johnson : "You know what sucks ? The way I work. I agonize for 2 weeks to come up with a cover design that I don't hate, and then it only takes me 1 day to do it from start to finish. Imagine if that were the other way around? I'd probably be over rendering and adding so much detail it would make your eyes bleed. But instead I wait until one day before the deadline to force me into doing something. 

Bah! I guess it is what it is. 

This one was hard because I've already done a Punisher cover dealing with Frank's origin story. Seen here [link]"

Dave Johnson : "Mmmmm, Electra vs. Punisher. Sure, why not."

Dave Johnson : "This cover kind of turned out to be a little partridge family bus art style or if you please the art that inspired that art style on the bus [link]

Well, it's not my best cover, but it's not my worst. I really dig how Punisher's face turned out though. But maybe you hate it.

Discuss."

Dave Johnson : "Punisher cover time. Mostly photoshop if you're wondering. No real paint was harmed in the making of this cover."

Dave Johnson : "Another Punny cover. Enjoy.

*note* if you notice, no blood on Frank in the photo. It's the little things."

Dave Johnson : "Sadness."

Dave Johnson's cover run (+ commentaries for nearly each of them) on Aaron/Dillon's Punisher Max Vol.1 #1-22 (2009-2012). Source

[shprka]

Guys I'm a Nanahito stan, sorry, they are just too sexy and interesting, so I tried writing an actors au but this is all I have, a fake interview with actors Nanami and Mahito, for your enjoyment:

Hi everyone!

We have two special guests in the studio today. We managed to catch them both in between their busy schedules, on a world tour to promote the 2nd season of Jujutsu Kaisen which managed to be a massive success worldwide, gaining over 4 million views for the Season 2 Episode 1 Premiere. They play enemies on screen and, if we're being honest, the off-screen chemistry is off the charts too (with a little less fighting and murder, of course).

Interviewer: Welcome, Nanami Kento-san and Mahito-san!

Nanami: Good morning, thank you for having us.

Mahito: Yes, thanks for having us! Take care of us today, please!

While their characters are at each other's throats any time in the same room, it couldn't be more opposite in real life. Nanami-san and Mahito-san are both nothing but kind and polite and friendly to each other and the crew.

They are also absolutely beautiful in real life! We asked Mahito-san about their skincare secret and they smiled evily and said "Blood of the innocents" before bursting out in a giggle. And even got a chuckle from the usually stoic Nanami-san.

I: So, let's start with something fun! What were your first impressions of each other?

M: A gentleman! Nanami-san is very much the dapper gentleman the internet thinks he is.

Nanami-san covers his mouth, is he... blushing?

N: I don't know about that, I have many flaws.

M: Like your messy bedhead? That's not even a flaw, that's cute!

N: Mahito-san... You're a menace.

They seem to be so lost in the banter, they forget we are here, watching every move.

I: Is that your first impression of Mahito-san? A menace.

N: Hmm, yes, let's go with that.

I: Okay, let's go with the most important question - are Gojo-san's eyes really that blue in real life? Or is it Photoshop? Contacts?

N: Oh, well, we didn't get to work a lot with him this season. I hope he's doing well.

M: Speaking of photoshop! Nanami-san's abs are one hundred precent real. He was even doing push-ups in between filming fight scenes to keep the six pack defined. That's dedication.

N: (sighs) We both trained very hard for this season. Mahito-san spend months trained by professional gymnasts and ballet trainers, and I attended the gym every spare minute I got. I was told off by my personal trainer so many times because Mahito-san kept sneaking me sweet treats, indulging my sweet tooth.

M (laughs): Sorry not sorry. You can't deprive yourself of the good things in life.

N: That's what you keep telling me.

I: You both looked amazing this season. You even already answered my question! The fights scenes were definitely the highlight of the season. And both of you did the majority of your own stunts too! How else did you prepare for your roles? How did your characters change since last season?

N: My character Keijirou has a very strong sense of who he is and doesn't let his emotion overtake him, which continues in this season as well. The fight scenes were the most challenging, trying to embody his personality and not let myself go all superhero berserk trying to defeat the enemies.

M: Nanami-san is so professional, it all looks so easy for him.

N: I assure you, it's not. I'm quite different from Keijirou. I let my emotions take control all the time. But in a way, I am also a romantic. I'd love to hide away on a beach with my future spouse.

I: It's hard to believe!

M: It's true. Nanami-san seems so poised and elegant but he is just a giant goofball on set. He always laughs at Gojo's pranks, and it's easy to make him laugh during the scene and break character.

N: That's just you, Mahito-san.

M: Look at him blushing and getting shy. I'm glad Nanami-san doesn't mind to show his true feelings in interviews, he's so much more fun to tease.

N: Mahito-san...

M: Sorry! (Giggles) But to answer your question, hmm, hmm... Hoshi is a very complicated character. He's a demon born of human hatred. On the page, it's hard to imagine what he's really like. In Season 1 I played him in a bit of a different way. I wanted to play a complex villain and a bit of a psycho so I went all out, haha. But season 2 gave me so much more perspective into his character. In the end, I tried finding parts of him I can relate to, and maybe others can. I don't really see him as a villain or a demon. I tried playing him a bit like Gojo-san with his character. Like a god sent to Earth, having to live amongst humans. He doesn't really know human customs but he's learning. Learning through a lens of his own creation and the people that unfortunately became his teachers aren't...the best.

N: Mahito-san is truly one of a kind actor, to portray such a complex character who bears all that is ugly in the world with a smile of innocence and a lightness of a child. I find myself quite mesmerised by their preformance sometimes.

M: Nanami-san is too kind. He always helps me rehearse my lines, and watched my performances in between his own so I can ask him for feedback. Actually, on season 1 Nanami-san helped me understand my character so much before we started filming.

N: Hmm? I didn't know that. What did I say?

M: You said: "Hoshi is a reflection of Keijirou". That changed my whole view about Hoshi and our characters. Hoshi is a reflection of whoever he's up against. But with Keijirou in season 2, he's not against him. He's the closest to his true self in that moment.

N: I didn't know you felt like that. That's an interesting way to look at it.

I: I agree! Speaking of, your two characters have this beef going on on screen, and a lot of fans seem to carry it online too. I'm sure you know Keijirou is widly beloved by fans and his death devasted the internet. Hoshi, on the other hand, seems to be hated even more than Kenjaku.

Though subtle, we pick up a shift in Mahito's demeanor. They seem to hunch a bit and their eyes wander down as they continue playing with their fingers, decorated in various rings.

N: We love to have such dedicated fans but from season 1, we know things can be taken too far. I think the dislike for the character should never transfer onto the actor or any real people. Besides, in my opinion, the reaction fans have to Hoshi only speaks to Mahito-san's immense talent as an actor. And be not fooled by that evil grin, Mahito-san is a an absolutely lovely, kind and witty menace I have ever had a pleasure of working with.

All that is said with the trademark Nanami-san's deep voice and soft tone. Mahito-san looks emotional.

We decide to take a little break, where we see Mahito-san and Nanami-san talking in hushed voices, their microphones off.

We wholeheartedly agree with Nanami-san's sentiment. If we, as fans, want creators and actors to interact with us, we need to be concious of what we do to real people and be kinder to each other.

After the break, we decide to cheer the mood up a bit:

I: One thing no one expected in the fandom sphere is for a new couple to emerge, that fans are very passionate about. Are you aware of it?

M: Is this about shipping? Because I keep seeing tik toks...

N: Ah, yes, I am aware. It'a fascinating, isn't it. How passionate fans are, making art and videos and full on novels of their favourite characters.

I: Any comments on how Hoshi and Keijirou, or more known online as Hoshikei, can work together?

M: Well, they're both dead for one, haha.

N: They live in a sea side town in Malaysia, spending their time fishing, idyllig and talking philosophy.

M: Oh, yes, and Hoshi becomes human and learns some manners.

N: But not too much.

I: Is that your pitch for season 3?

Both laugh.

N: It's for the spin-off.

M: Hoshikei: Kuantan edition. Exclusively on Netflix.

I: I can't wait to see it. Now, let us do some rapid questions you have to answer in 2 seconds. Ready?

M: Ready! Go!

I: Who Gojo-san pranks the most on set?

N and M: Getou.

I: Your favourite Kyoto student?

N: Todo.

M: Mechamaru and Miwa.

I: Who's your favourite to work with?

N: Mahito-san.

M: Nanami-san.

They look at each other surprised but pleased.

I: Did you steal anything from set?

N and M: Yes.

I: What was it?

N: Socks.

M: Too many things.

N: Really? I always think I'm gonna get told off.

M: Welllll... I probably shouldn't mention it too much. But I even have one of Todo's pendants and one of your many many pairs of glasses. And your tie.

N: You have my tie?

M: It's weird now that I said it out loud. Is that weird? I can give them back.

N: No, it just surprised me. You don't even wear ties.

M: Well... I might start to, who knows.

N: Hmm.

Now after the interview, we think it was a subtle tease at a photoshoot that came out this morning, of Mahito-san in full glam makeup, mini skirt, devil horns and one of Nanami-san's, or rather his character's, ties. Mahito-san really knows how to rile up the internet and look good while doing it. We'd wish we could see Nanami-san's reaction to it. But this interview proved they are good friends and are always bantering and there for each other.

I: That's all the time we have today. Thank you so much for speaking to us!

N: Thank you as well.

M: Thanks! And don't forget to tune in to watch me kick Nanami-san's ass in season 2!!

[bizarrequazar]

GJ and ZZH Updates — December 31-January 6

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And we're back! Sorry for the break between posts, thank you all for your patience.

This is part of a weekly series collecting updates from and relating to Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan.

This post is not wholly comprehensive and is intended as an overview, links provided lead to further details. Dates are in accordance with China Standard Time, the organization is chronological. My own biases on some things are reflected here. Anything I include that is not concretely known is indicated as such, and you’re welcome to do your own research and draw your own conclusions as you see fit. Please let me know if you have any questions, comments, concerns, or additions. :)

[Glossary of names and terms] [Masterlist of my posts about the situation with Zhang Zhehan]

12-31 → Gong Jun's studio posted eleven photos of him rehearsing for his performance that evening. Caption: "The lark @ Gong Jun Simon shines, see you tonight"

→ Deeyeo posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

→ 361° posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun. (1129 kadian)

→ Dragon TV posted a short video with footage from Gong Jun's rehearsal.

→ Chinese whalers who bought the scam's photobook (the one that was being sold on a soft-core porn site, see 10-26) started posting photos from it. The content includes such things as Zhang Sanjian shaving, eating, etc. and feels very voyeuristic, so 100% it's aimed at dreamgirls. Photoshopping quality is on par with the scam's usual stuff.

→ The Instagram posted six photos of "Zhang Zhehan".

→ Gong Jun performed at Dragon TV's New Year's Eve show, performing his song 明天晴空万里. [performance video] [on stage with Justin and Johnny] [backstage interview]

→ Gong Jun's studio posted nine photos of him from a New Years photoshoot. Caption: "The blue sky is thousands of miles away, and the clear waves are vast; whatever your heart desires, you will go wherever you go. @ Gong Jun Simon is gilded with colour and feels the beauty of the past."

They later also posted a video from the same shoot. Caption: "The sound of pressing the shutter, and the smiling expression was frozen. Waiting for the update of the four seasons, enjoy the clear sky with @ Gong Jun Simon."

01-01 → Gong Jun's studio posted four photos of him holding balloons spelling out "2024". "Starting a new journey in 2024, @ Gong Jun Simon wishes everyone a happy New Year and a fun and promising new year!"

→ Gong Jun posted a douyin of him doing a little dance with Justin and Johnny Huang (two of his costars from Go Fighting). Caption: "Dance with your brothers! Happy New Year 🎉" BGM is Stay by The Kid LAROI feat. Justin Bieber.

→ The Instagram posted ten photos of "Zhang Zhehan" at a New Years fanmeet in Thailand. During this fanmeet, Zhang Sanjian reportedly said that he has been less active(???) recently because his mother has been in and out of hospital due to a viral infection, and has gone blind in one eye. The post he later made about this was worded in a very impersonal way. A reminder that the real Zhang Zhehan was very private about family matters like this, including never mentioning his father's death in 2016 until his post-813 interview with Li Xuezheng.

→ 361° posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

→ Gong Jun posted two photos of himself with a puppy. Caption: "Wishing everyone a prosperwoof 2024!" This was reposted by his studio with the added caption, "@ Gong Jun Simon and everyone will be prosperous in the new year!" He also posted these and two more photos to his Xiao Hong Shu, caption "Woof woof woof! Happy New Year!", and his Instagram, caption "2024 woof woof woof!"

→ Gong Jun's studio posted a year in review video for 2023. Caption: "Annual report, please check it out! In 2023, cultivate 'Ye' morally, be meticulous in every 'Si', and interpret various forms and postures with ingenuity. In 2024, actor @ Gong Jun Simon is 'modest' and a 'beginning' of a brilliant generation, running towards the ideal 'rank' with enthusiasm."

→ The Instagram posted four photos of "Zhang Zhehan" holding an apple.

→ For New Year's Day, Gong Jun changed his Weibo auto-reply to "Happy New Year, I send you a song of wealth, Do re mi fa fa fa fa fa!" The following day, he changed it back to the "Now that you're here, won't you stay?" auto-reply that he's had it set to since the Word of Honor concert. [screenshot]

01-02 → One of Gong Jun's lawsuits against an anti was announced to have been settled in Gong Jun's favour. It's worth noting that it was closed in September but could not be made public until now.

→ 361° posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun. (1129 kadian)

→ Gong Jun's studio posted a video of Gong Jun with the puppy. Caption: "@ Gong Jun Simon: Is it warm? 🐶: Warm, but want to escape."

→ Gong Jun posted a commercial he did for 361°. [subbed video] Caption: "Put down your endless work and trivial matters in life, go out, and you will discover the big world. In the new year, let’s go wild with me and @ 361degrees."

→ The Instagram posted five photos of "Zhang Zhehan" and one of a bedazzled music note.

01-03 → Gong Jun posted a commercial he did for L'Oreal. [subbed video] Caption: "This time, [L'Oreal] and my care are not just about the scales of the hair, making the hair smooth and shiny; they are also extended to nature to jointly protect the strange and rare scales and life of pangolins. Let's 'protect your skin and shine' with @ L'Oreal Hair Care."

→ The Instagram posted five photos of "Zhang Zhehan" and one of clouds.

01-04 → Nothing of note.

01-05 → 361° posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

01-06 → Gong Jun's studio posted a behind the scenes video of a photoshoot he did with Tissot. Caption: "Behind-the-scenes footage drop TIME! @ Gong Jun Simon rode on his beloved motorcycle"

→ LaLaTV re-aired the first five episodes of Castle in the Time.* They previously aired these on 12-27, but people aware of the Zhang Sanjian situation have been avoiding bringing attention to it. *Zhang Zhehan's old drama that is suddenly and suspiciously being aired in Japan, see [here] for info.

Additional Reading: → N/A

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[sollucets]

beloveds @khaotunq, @pranink & @alexshenry tagged me to do:

every month of 2023! list your favorite/most popular gifset for each month.

i started making gifs in march this year, so january/february are off the table for this. it's funny that it hasn't even been a full year yet. it seems both somehow a lot longer and also like i remain some kind of photoshop baby at the same time. the images in this post will remain undescribed until i have some energy in my failing body, unfortunately

in any case:

march: midnight museum invades all 2 of my braincells. i download photoshop. the end is nigh

most popular: msp/eclipse pool parallel set

favorite: the bams i made for sof

(notes: it's hard to look back at these lmao. what is coloring and why don't i know her. why is everything so dark. who told me to use noise dithering and why did i ever think that was a good idea. anyway)

april: the eighth sense is airing! i meet many mutuals and friends. i figure out about the curves tool (thank god)

most popular: taehyung getting dunked on

(very deserved dunk; very bad set. the coloring of this scene was extremely questionable and i did nothing to fix it it looks so dull and gray. augh)

favorite: feet lining up / jihyun & jaewon on the beach

i really like this coloring actually. it's bright enough to actually see them, their skin doesn't look as weird, and i like the soft pink i made the beach. a win for baby photoshop user rowan

may: the purple is in full swing now

most popular: purple yok

first set to cross 1k! the purple is still very good but in hindsight there are things i now know i couldve done to help his skin. in any case. a banger. beloved

favorite: pink our skyy 2 hands set

[through tears] you're my space. also my first try at typography

june: i lose the will to gif some in the back half of this month, but i also learn to do a Lot of new things, like gradient maps & more complicated typography and transitions and such

most popular: puzzle piece hugs!

deserved! hard to gif and fun to look at

favorite: i think it might be the heartliming i made for vi now! but i still like khathadome from eden too.

july: i try giffing a few different shows. the only friends trailer comes out on the last day and i enter some kind of terrifying fugue state

most popular: sand and ray fighting / crying in the ofts trailer

do you guys remember the trailer 1080p? life was so good

favorite: nobody appreciates my ride enough

august: only friends airs, eclipse anniversary is concurrent, i lose my mind. i also learn to use the method of brightening that i still use & several other fundamental gif tricks

most popular: sandray car makeout

good for them! i start using significant grain on my ofts gifs from here on out and can never decide how i feel about that

favorite: orange/blue eclipse episode seven set

september: the madness continues

most popular: sand cooking for ray / special

ive giffed this scene three times and this is my least favorite coloring but what can you do. this is my third post to cross 1k

favorite: new rules set! i had mixed feelings when i posted it but it's really grown on me.

october: the madness is so much worse. only friends ends and i am left near-catatonic immediately, apparently. also, i learn to blend and use overlays and some other cool things. i join userdramas :'>

most popular: raysand afterglow. as it should be. cheek kissie

favorite: space girl!! show me the stars!!!

loved making this. purple and sparkly and gay. still super proud. that said other runner-up favorites in october are ray's o-face & the boyfriend shirt & akkaye's thumb thing collection

november: i am left cavernously empty after ofts ends and i fill the void with namtan

most popular: last twilight episode one porjai

she <3

favorite: gaipa userdramas set

again, i learned to use musescore for this set just so i could have those pretty notes. :')

december: i am punched in the face by seasonal depression. all is not well. i made just one gifset this month, but at least it was good? :')

and here we are today !! it was very fun to look over everything; thanks so much for playing and have a happy new year everyone

[koukouture]

I have decided that I want to be obnoxious so I will be compiling all of my favorite Gposes in this post + context as to why I like it so much.

Also I miss gposing (I'm unsubscribed bc I need to focus on school rn)

This is one of my oldest screenshots from when I first managed to get Anamnesis working on the FFXIV free trial. I've had this idea of Elysia in her dragoon armor falling above Ishgard ala Spiderverse style and I actually tried to draw it once but ofc it kinda sucked ass and this screenshot turned out wayyyyy better. Might just be one of my favorite gposes of all time tbh. Anyways after taking this I kinda came up with a little headcanon that it's a rite of passage for new dragoons to jump off the top floor of the Vault and kind of parkour their way all the way down to the lowest point of Ishgard. So uhhh yeah dragoon supremacy.

I love this one a lot just by virtue of how unexpectedly hard this pose was for me? I has also just finished Stormblood when I started getting into Gpose so I was super Zenos pilled at the time. Anyways, this pose was really hard because a) I was still learning Anamnesis and b) you have no idea how hard it is to make this height different work even when Zenos is lying down 💀

This one was a part of a little photoshoot partially inspired by the hand scene in Perfect Blue where the stalker pretends to hold Mima in the palm of his hand except with my OCs- but it turned out I like the solo shot of Elysia better because idk man LOOK AT IT. The aura is unmatched. Simple composition but it's still so perfect.

These are from the same photoshoot and I'm really only including them because of how hard it was to line this up. But yeah anyways I think I did pretty good.

Uhhhh I really love the Royal Menagerie okay??? Anyways yeah once again just finished Stormblood and I thought Zenos and Elysia deserved a fight scene with a lot of sexual tension so these are like hypothetical shots of that.

AGAIN WITH THE ZENOS- Yeah so- I actually have a lot of more romantic/intimate shots but I feel like they never turn out quite as cinematic as my uhhh normal/more action based screenshots I guess? But I really love this one because the lighting and framing seems so intimate~ Also Zenos being almost reverent with his beast? Hell yeah

Okay I cropped this one that's how you KNOW it's good. What can I say? I really love dragoons. Also I was kind of stressing about this shot because I was worried that maybe Estinien's lance wouldn't be held the right way (I was using the dragoon victory pose) but thank god it was because look at this shot!!!! I have a couple more dynamic pictures where they're both on top of the statue of Haldrath but I think this one takes the cake. Also I captioned this shot "A legacy written in blue- Ishgard's Azure Dragoons" and idk I think that eats.

Okay this one was sooooo fucking hard to get mostly because Anamnesis doesn't let you spawn in actors like Brio does so in most cases you only have your player character, carbuncle, and maybe a training dummy if you're doing a photoshoot in duty finder mode. In the overworld I actually had to use NPCs as extra actors and that is NOT fun. I trailed to nail a more horror-esque vibe but idk maybe this could have benefitted from a little tweaking in Photoshop or a better shader preset because I could NOT find one I liked for this photoshoot. Obviously I love the DRK quests because who doesn't??? Don't worry, I have more DRK themed screenies to come

Oooo okay so this one is inspired by my Hellbound AU fanfic and tldr all you need to know is that Haurchefant is in the Heaven's Ward and DEDICATED to his wife. How dedicated? How about breaking his oath of celibacy and being ready to throw away his nation for her?

Once again super simple composition but immensely impactful. A general tip for taking screenshots in video games is to keep your character either in the center or closer to one of the corners of the frame AND NEVER OFF TO ONE SIDE KIND OF HOVERING IN THE MIDDLE (unless they are framed by something closer to the camera or if there's another character to help draw the gaze/balance the picture) Another things I guess for gpose specifically is to really think about the way your character's outfit will look in the environment. Do you want them to match or really stand out? I should probably make a post of dedicated gpose tips no? Anyways- I really love this one because she just looks so ominous lmao. Btw this is L'hamara! She's not a WoL OC but I still think about my lesbian bunny girl constantly.

Oh Zenos is here again. I promise I ship Elysia with other characters Zenos just has better screenshot potential. Yeah so I think Zenos should have skewered WoL Sephiroth style.

Mmmm okay I know I have a cropped version of this laying around somewhere but little known fact about me is that I LOVE Nier Automata so after I finished Shadowbringers before ANYTHING else I did the Nier raids STAT. The white haired girl is named Saji btw- she's my friend's OC and Elysia's (sometimes) girlfriend :)

God I wish I had nicer screenshots of my other WoL Xia but I don't think I have any cool ones :(. Anyways please perceive my stylish kitty cat daughter and her loser (affectionate) boyfriend. I don't really post about her and I should change that lmao- I keep thinking about how hard it would be on her as a literal teenager being the WoL. I need to do more stuff for her man.

Another cropped one so it bangs ofc. As you can see, I got some mods for Elysia which is really just using C+ to edit her face and hair bones a little lmao. I captioned this one "Hades could not help but hope- for he saw her in the folly of man" which I think is a BANGER fucking line. Something about WoL ultimately proving to him that sundered souls ARE a people worth living... it gets me man. Sometimes it just takes a girl that looks like your dead situationship from 12000 years ago to make you realize that all life is sacred. I will say though I do wish that there was a neat water shadow while in Amarot. I think there's one in other parts of the Tempest but don't quote me on that. I just wanna sell the underwater vibes sometimes yk?

Ugh these... I told you I had more DRK screenshots. This was actually for the entry of this glamour on Eorzea collection and obviously I took versions without the mod but come on man... my girl deserves her luscious long locks. Oh also yes you can pose shadow Esteem!!!! Search "Esteem" when you go to load in NPC appearance and they'll load in- just be careful because the smoke effect doesn't follow them once you've posed them so make sure to position them before you move any bones.

I didn't actually pose Elysia much or anything I just took this before I did the Zodiark trial lmao. I just think it's neat how he peaks between the beams of light almost like they're imprisoning him. I do wish I had changed Elysia's outfit tho because the only think you can really see is her sword while her dress blends in. I had a nice DRK winter glam for the expedition into Garlemald maybe I should have kept her in that.

Oooooh okay these two- The idea behind these two was Elysia and her co-tanks- and obviously Elysia is the off tank because DRK is a DPS job at this point.

Soooo this one is obviously more on the comedic side but this is 100% one of my favourite screenshots ESPECIALLY after adding the text box. Glorious. Imagine your older brother and your pseudo older brother figure fuck I would literally become homophobic too /j

[furymint]

2023 Creator Reflection

ffxiv.

1. dance me to the end of love

this one was fun! i always like merging a character's outfit with the bg so i liked doing that again. picking the colors for elliots outfit was also enjoyable. ive wanted to make smth w that cover for a while

2. shame was still the tyrant of his life

i only wrote two nol and eli things this year and neither of them are finished. the first was a continuation of a scene where nol kisses elliot against the blue stained glass in his room--i once posted it but then i deleted it bc it made me feel woozy for its allusions to sex. i wanted to rebuild it and take a shot at it now that im comfortable writing n reading sex, but i never got very far. theres actually lots of nice parts! i just like nols dumb angsting the best!

3. valentine

i really wanted to focus on nol's eye here, but also not make it too obvious lol. i used a ps filter like a schmuck but i wanted it to be darker without making it even more difficult to see, so i took away their bodies and limited the colors to make it what it is.

4. amateur cracksmen

the second nol n eli wip, which doesnt have many interesting lines rn, was a raffles-inspired story where eli drags nol as his valet to a rival artist's house and tries to steal back the brooch that he bought from an underground dealer feat. much babbling abt the state of societal responsibility that war is supposed to bring

ffxvi.

1. herz an herz dir

i wrote some reflections about this one already here. i honestly was very (distressed voice) cant believe im writing pure fanfic for the first time in over ten years and lacked a lot of direction when i started bc uhhhhh terence has 8 and a half mins of screen time. i tried to convince myself that it's not much different than me stealing brucemont for my own evil devices, but the unique perspective of seeing quite so much fan content def influenced my interpretation. i wanted their relationship to be much more imbalanced from the get-go initially--dion using his power unintentionally and terence barely passing a thought abt it until later bc he's just so accustomed to obeying--but i ended up giving terence a lot more sway & ammunition in their argument. the breakfast bed thing is also smth im rly fond of.

2. mund an mund

there's also additional meta for this one here. i made a silly doodle abt it also. dion kept picking fights here! it honestly turned out how i expected. when i first started this fic, i was gonna have dion start out right in oriflamme and meet ter and kihel there, but i booted them to northreach so i could have this stretch of conflict. i think it's like. Bad Pacing. technically. if i still believe the conflict introduced in the next chapter is the core one, that is. which i sorrrrta do. but i dont care bc i rly like the visual of kihel laying in dion's lap and getting to put a gun on the wall w ahmed.

3. eines atems

its been two months since the last chapter and this chapter is humiliatingly not written. i have all my scrambled notes and scenes that i jotted down in between the first two chapters, so i have a full direction, but it's been really difficult to write lately. ive been devoting all my time to trying to recoup my mental health and work on my teredio secret santa. ill start next year with this wip as a priority, so for now i only have the photoshop edit for it. kihel is holding terence's hand--it's his pov turn.

overall i didnt like this year very much. i didn't read, create, research or do a lot even though i tried to. i became really disconnected from all of my friends bc im too tired to stay for rp or hold online conversations. at this point, i dont play ffxiv at all except the few times i managed to rp a little. i moved into nanny's house and have my own space, but don't have the presence of mind to do anything about my pc, books, and so on, although i did make a lot of progress rewrapping my books w fresh wraps and some other things. my plans for next year are to reach out to a couple of my friends, build my pc, relearn + rebuild + relaunch my queer lit blog on open source code, survive school, and rediscover the productivity ive lost the past few years.

teredio has helped me a LOT to find community, inspiration, and art in my loneliest year yet. im very proud of my fic and grateful every day to the ppl who have reached out to me about liking it. even if im sorry about my productivity rate in comparison to how many extraordinary writers there are in the ship's fandom, i know i have to be easy on myself to relearn how to write, create a writing schedule that works for me, and stop punishing myself when i cant get the words out.

past reflections:  2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022

[penta-zero-one]

mornin'

-

-

-

Undertale belongs to: tobyfox

Explanation:

Short: Sans in battle have two colors in eye, which match colours of two humans’ souls (Light blue – Patience, Yellow - Justice). So why not to combine it! (And, yes, he’s basically talking to himself here) (It’s not really an AU, more like “Sans is strange in a way that somehow I can connect things into This” … I’ll put tag Undertale AU anyway just in case)

Longer explanation (With pictures!!!) under a cut

Welcome to under a cut of “theory for fun”! (All sprite credits go to Toby Fox and was taken from spriters resource com) (almost everything here is a stretch, heh) The theory in whole is: what if he is very little partly human?

Part 1: Colours

Let’s start with colours in eye. As I said it’s matching colours with two humans’ souls (light blue patience and yellow justice). But there is more strange color sameness around Sans.

(It’s important to say that colours in eye is darker) At “Grillby's” Sans using light blue comb. Mattrass in his room has a stain that is “dried out” mid colour between light blue and yellow (which can be a hint on more physical appearance of magic, because apparently it can “spill out???”)

Part 2: Battle

Next Sans has even more connections to humans not only on colour level. He is combing his non-existing hair, scratching his non-existing skin, talking about getting burn when you bring him umbrella in Waterfall. (Papyrus talking about skin and hair as well, but when around Undyne he saying that he doesn’t have that, so I think he was just joking (that can be the case for Sans, but nobody even mentioning it! Papyrus just saying that Sans can make “weird first impression”)) But most remarkable is Sans’ knowledge and behaving in battle.

First (easier one) to overanalyse is his battle.

The most recognizably he can dodge, which uh… not common in monsters, but we as a humans can do that (and if we didn’t cheat with double hit, he probably could’ve dodge forever, heh)

He “using his eye” only three times: at a start, when he slams us so hard that we losing HP and when at the end he teleports us away from fight button.

First: at a start. The reason it can be that, unlike many other monsters, he is having first turn in battle. The other times it’s happening is at first encounter with Flowey, Photoshop Flowey and Asgore (but with Asgore we “can argue” that his attack is not on us, but on button (which on itself is strange) and the battle box is not present). Remarkable that Flowey is a being that can bend reality; Photoshop Flowey almost a god; With Asgore is harder… he’s surrounded with human souls that he killed, and he have many experiences with humans, which can be an excuse for his knowledge (like in case with shopkeeper Gerson who knows we can’t kill him while he’s item selling NPC (Side note: Sans quite often can be found selling something).) So, we can assume that Sans “using his eye” here to trick system into rule “human get first turn” (well at the end of genocide path we are not recognizable as human anyway, according to Asgore).

Second: when he slams us so hard that we losing HP. Uh… I only can tie it to the fact that usually borders do not hurt us, which means he’s using cheating to make us take damage. (Side note: we are not at effect of karma when we being slammed)

Third: at the end when he teleports us away from fight button. It’s interesting one… Because we can say that he is teleporting us, but the same “effect” we get only in Photoshop Flowey fight at end as well. The main two differences are that Flowey in this form is almost a god, and using ability to save and load from human souls (because Player/Frisk having less determination), this all definitely is not case for battle with Sans… well except if we take this theory about parts of two humans inside of him. Hm…

One last thing about his battle is that he’s sweating after some time of a dodging, but sweat disappearing when he using eye. And his left side of face always more distorted in comparison to the right. But we’ll talk about it later!

Part 3: Knowledge

We are transitioning into territory of Sans’ knowledge (Oh god…). It’s really tricky one, because he defiantly can lie about so many things, just like Papyrus. But, unlike Papyrus, Sans wasn’t caught on inconsistencies in his actions and dialogs, so let’s trust him on what he saying, or we never progress in anything, heh!

We start from the most distinguishing attribute of a human – Saving. The only character who explicitly confirmed to know about that and was using it, before Frisk fall into underground, is Flowey. But we have Asgore who, when we telling him that he killed us, just sadly nodding, which can tell us that he at least knows about ability of Save. Sans in other hand is very vague and careful with his wording, except for one dialog. If we end Natural route without saving, he says:

Which is, uh… not vague… at all. Well maybe he is just saying stuff y’know?

Let’s, for example, take Genocide route. He can count our deaths up to 12, sans explain it with expression that we're wearing (I don’t know if it’s even good excuse, there is very low possibility, if not 0%, of saying that THIS expression exactly is expression of a being who died 7 time in a row), he can tell if we were killed by his “mercy attack”, if we killed him once/twice. And I had very strange thing on my playthrough. I’ve done my first full Genocide route (i’m sorry, sans), after Chara’s interaction and, presumably, resetting the world, I went on a second Genocide (i’m so sorry, sans); everybody even Flowey and Sans acted like it was my first playthrough, opening Sans’ speech was ordinarily for first Genocide; He started talking about birds singing, flowers blooming, but cut himself off and doing attack; Then he said the same dialog when you comeback after aborted Genocide. In short: Sans showed more awareness then Flowey, which could be a bug in latest version… but I don’t have this information.

Part 4: Amalgamates

Yeah, this is looking like I’m trying to put him in every box possible, but let’s see if I’m delusional or I am.

Sans surprisingly have uh… some connections (Here’s pictures! :-D)

Let’s start from obvious: when on “Naming Screen” choose name Sans, will appear text “nope.”. The same text (without dot) will appear when you hit Amalgamate.

Amalgamates themselves and attacks often contains black hole-eyes, white dots for pupils and smiles (Mystery man have this feature as well; Papyrus can have it too, but it’s reverse and only when he’s fried)

Sans’s dialogs in Asriels fight are having “special wiggle effect” (and he’s not using comic sans font) that appearing only in ghosts and in Amalgamates. But from Napstablook we learning that they were not affected by “souls gathering”, which means Sans is not a ghost, but still having “wiggles”. (And I don’t know why, but I always feel like in text: “you'll never see 'em again.” he talking to himself in second person??? That’s actually the reason I did that comic!)

Lastly Papyrus telling us this at a “Blooky’s snail farm”

Strange, huh? As I was saying before: Sans’ face is asymmetric. In battle his left eye seems heavier and left end of smile is more distorted. In addition, he’s “sweating” (Emitting slime? / Melting like Amalgamates???), whatever it is, it’s disappearing when he using his eye, which could mean it’s “stabilizing” him. BUT Papyrus “sweating” too, but then he can “summon googly eyes and tears???”… yeah… I would love to make overanalyse on that too.

It's important to this “theory”, because in order to have at least pieces of two souls inside, it needed to be medically or magically insert/inject into someone, so this is basically making them an amalgamate of some sorts. (In same sense Flowey is considered a amalgamate, because Asriel dust was absorbed by flower after injecting of DT)

Part 5: HP n’ stuff (this part is without pictures :(

Sans doesn’t have an HP bar anywhere in game, he is scripted to die on one hit and there is possibility to do overkill in Undertale, so we can’t say which amount of base HP he has. But we can say that he is very careful, even overcautious, about his HP.

As I was saying before, shopkeeper Gerson telling us we can’t kill him while he’s item selling NPC and Sans quite often can be found selling something: hot dogs/cats, fried snow, tickets made of toilet paper, tickets for premium telescope using (From the newspaper: selling things to monsters in Grillby's).

Was mentioned that he often eating: many visits to Grillby's, Undyne said that Sans “too often” was getting up at night to eat.

Many naps (that recover and making above maximum HP): Papyrus at electric maze complaining that Sans was “napping all night”, which could mean that Sans wasn’t sleeping much before (like Papyrus), but something “made him to sleep more” (Or Papyrus complaining all his life about this? Or he is joking??? He is Papyrus, it’s hard to tell when he’s complete honest); Then we see Sans taking a nap at his sentry station, while we were running from Undyne to distract her (and sleep). (Side note: from our experience in Inn, we can confirm that we don’t need much time to boost our HP above maximum). And, of course, one powernap in battle.

Sans is quite unique in this type of behaviour, which is uh… concerning. Maybe he needs that because he has so little HP, or maybe because he constantly losing HP?

Part 6 (last one) FUN FACTS! (And ending)

Sans is VERY inconsistent in how he “speaks".

2. Sans sleeping “in other font” (I believe it called “Aster”)

3. I need to tell that Papyrus is VERY strange as well (He’s deserved his own comic and overanalyse)

4. In his room Sans has too many numbers seven. He has 7 socks on floor, 7 white pieces of junk in self-sustaining tornado, and in his note he has 7 dots at the end.

5. I have so much more to talk about Sans and Papyrus, but it will not be in the theme of the comic.

...

So, you’ve made it here… Maybe you read the whole text, or maybe you skipped to the end…

Heh, sorry!

To summarize… I’m not convince that this whole theory can be true. But isn't it fun to imagine infinity of possibilities! (And yeah… I’m bad at writing, heh!)

Thanks for reading! I probably forgot to write something, but… eh that’s good enough

So…

[ivashkovadrian]

a creation for every month of 2022

post your favorite or most popular post from each month this year (it’s okay to skip months).  

i was tagged by the absolutely great @yenvengerberg, thank you so much for thinking of me for this 🥺 i still cannot believe we’re friends for you truly are a fantastic person AND the most talented person on this website. sending you all my love and my best wishes for the new year to come 💖 (oops this turned into a love letter but i don’t care). i had fun doing this last year so let’s goooo, and have an existential crisis over the amount of time spent on photoshop. just like last year, i’m blending in with edits i made for sourceblogs

january (aka the month i didn’t think i’d partake in Yen week but finally did because i was stuck at home with c*vid)

favorite: yenskier in s2 + pink most popular: every friend group should have...witcher edition

february

favorite: words are like arrows graphic most popular: the kingsguard pre-ASOIAF era

march

favorite: yenralt: she’s smart, beautiful and can kick my ass most popular: yennefer + Don’t Trust Me lyrics

april

favorite: kanthony + senses most popular: wet Anthony

may

favorite: pride and prejudice + lilac/sand (honorary mention: Violet Bridgerton’s s2 outfits) most popular: pride and prejudice + dark blue/gold

june

favorite: team dragonstone most popular: witcher ladies: violence IS the answer (also my favorite tbh)

july

favorite: Triss Merigold + blue/pink (honorary mentions: Fringilla x Fran enemies to “partners” and witcher ladies fighting in dresses) most popular: Triss Merigold + marigold

august

favorite: Maiden-Made-Of-Light graphic (honorary mention: Violet Bridgerton’s teal and sand outfit) most popular: Yennefer: rough yet gentle

september

favorite: Arianne Martell desert gifset most popular: fuck the rich...please. kanthony edition

october

favorites (ex-aequo): everyone has a little bit of Geralt in them...(coping with Henry leaving the role) and Yenralt + Ships in the Night most popular: Kate Sharma’s sunset gown

november

favorite: Rosaline + Pride&Prejudice parallels most popular: southern locations of Westeros

december

favorites (ex-aequo): House Martell family tree (that one...) and Geralt: darling deadly boy most popular: eloquent Jaskier

tagging (no pressure ofc!): @zoya-nazyalenskys @harrenhals @lady-arryn @ughmerlin @castlesrichards @arthurpendragonns @keirahknightley @mxrisacoulter @redbelles @something-more

[kdm13]

haha this got long sooooooo

so. both of my parents are professional photographers with their own studios. obviously not saying which ones lol. my first conventions were actually photography conventions. fun night (themed party where everyone dressed up and played games for their teams to win a little bull trophy or something idr. my older sister and i used to try to convince the adults to let us play too) and the ice cream social (free ice cream sundae for everyone!) my beloveds. they got rid of them both and can't figure out why they can't get new (young) people to join and i am forever salty. when i was almost aged out of the age range they were going for, they started doing a kid section of the judgement thing and i was able to enter a couple things though. i might have blue ribboned a couple times? it's been close to two decades, don't look at me lol

there were also fun things like "the fancy colored pencils that kids are not allowed to touch" that my mum used for retouching, back before the days when digital photography and photoshop were big. or going with my dad to outdoor shoots so someone could hold the gray card and the reflector. i used to try to make it into shapes while we were walking from place to place. my favorite was this one that made me think of Simba. you know. this thing

he also called me back to the camera room a bunch for the ever important duty of "lean against this foam pillar so the seniors don't knock it over when they lean on it for their picture"

he even forced me to be second camera at weddings a couple times because he wanted me to do them on my own because they pay well. haha no i can't take the stress. miss that kiss and you're out of luck

god i just remembered looking through random negatives with my older sister. i think we may have been sorting them? or maybe just being gremlin children. unsure. we didn't ruin anything though to my knowledge (not counting the bathroom lock we "picked" open too many times using a pair of scissors to get the other to stop hiding in there)

okay fine i just remembered cracking a digital camera view screen when i tried to play fight with my little brother at home and there wasn't a big open area to do so in

i can recognize but not name a nice little number of things that were used for photography back in the 90s and so

also i learned how to use photoshop before paint, and still only really know how to crop and scribble out information i don't want to share in paint. i'd rather use photopea though lol (i can't afford my own copy of photoshop, and the last computer i had it on won't even start anymore and i don't know the code besides, so free browser copy it is!)

oh god that's right! mom entered a picture of me as a kid that made it into this one book that went all over the country! PPA loan collection or something. unsure of the year, but i used to like flipping to that page in the copy of the book my mom had

me as a kid, internally: oh gosh is it really allowed for me to wear boy clothes? even just for a picture? even though it's my mom telling me to wear the clothes?

me now: damn, i'm queer as hell. wish mum wasn't such a weird christian about shit though so i could feel safe around her

i'm just glad she bought me a binder. y'know. for cosplay (which is honestly what i mostly wore it for tbh)

she did dress up as Zorro once though! theme was "disney or what i want to be when i grow up"

i was a fairy. my older sister was Catwoman (and got chased behind a tree by the 101 dalmatians). and my little brother was a Jedi lol

it has occurred to me, as I age, that most people did not spend their childhoods getting simplified breakdowns of class-action lawsuits explained to them over dinner at least once a week

[deviiancetv]

deViianceTV Get To Know Me FAQ Update 2024

Heyyooo!!! I compiled a get to know me FAQ for new people that are tuning into my page, mutuals as well as members in my community page.

Invite into 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝒜𝑉𝒜𝒩𝒯𝐼𝒵𝐸𝒩 𝑆𝑜𝑐𝑖𝑒𝑡𝑦 🧞✨

What’s my name?

★ Online I go by the name deVii (deV-EE).

✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆

What’s my sign?

★ I’m a Cancer Sun, Sagittarius Moon, and Capricorn Rising. My birthday is July 2nd.

✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆

What do I do for work?

★ I work in the retail industry, but my passion is being an Avantizen, creating art and further developing my craft.

✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆

What creative stuff am I skilled in?

★ I’m really good at drawing & painting, as well as digital editing (Picsart or Photoshop). It’s something I’ve always been passionate about since a kid. I’m a pretty good writer, I’ve written reviews for movies and shows, I’ve written two short stories, and working on a novel. I write poetry and I do spokenword. I like editing photos, videos and doing graphic design.

✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆

What are some things I want to learn more about in my creative career?

★ I would love to get back into beat making, producing and even making my own music. My true passion is to make animated shows and movies, so to learn how to animate or storyboard is a goal of mine. I’ve always been interested in learning how to do wushu which is a martial art that blends in fencing/sword fighting. I’ve done archery once on a field trip, but it was sooo cool to try and I wouldn’t mind doing it again someday. I want to get back into dancing like I did as a kid for fun, but instead I’d love to learn bharatanatyam, contemporary, waacking and a few other dance styles.

✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆

What is an “Avantizen”?

★ It’s kinda something I just created randomly from the word “Avant” lol. But my definition is a gifted creative person or a collective of creative individuals, blessed with the ability to create different or all forms of art; painting, film, music, storytelling, dance, fashion, etc.

✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆

What’s my sexuality?

★ I consider myself a freespirit and aromantic. I’m open to anyone, so long as I feel there’s a connection between us, but if things go cold or one sided I am NOT putting my all into a dull experience. I’m not interested in a romantic connection, but I still crave intimacy and closeness.

✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆

What’s my love language?

★ My love language is words of affirmation, affirm my existence and maybe I’ll glance at you and give you a kiss.

✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆

Do I have any hobbies?

★ My hobbies are drawing, painting, writing, storytelling, poetry, astrology, mysticism, listening to music, watching shows and movies (sometimes writing reviews on here lol).

✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆

Favorite color(s)?

★ My favorite color(s): Maroon, red, black, indigo, blue, violet, orange, forest green.

✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆

Favorite food/drink(s)?

★ Favorite food(s): Fries, Pizza, Gyros, Cheesesteaks, Tacos/Burritos, Pasta, Sushi, Mozzarella Sticks, Seafood, etc.

★ Favorite drink(s): Most Redbulls, Sprite, Pibbs, Iced Raspberry Tea, Iced Matcha Latte, Iced Vanilla Latte, Sparkling Water, and I guess 𝚆𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛 lol.

✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆

What’s my personality like?

★ My personality type is INFJ, I’m introverted, whimsical, blunt, caring, imaginative, goofy, wise, creative, nerdy, and melancholic at times.

✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆

What kind of stuff do I like to watch?

★ I like to watch anything animated, especially plot driven animated shows. I also enjoy fantasy/sci-fi, action, superhero, horror, psychological thrillers, and dramas.

✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆

Am I religious?

★ I’m spiritually inclined and mystic of sorts. I’m interested in numerology, astrology, birth charts, tarot, crystals, dream interpretations, reincarnation, symbolisms, anything cosmic, mythical creatures, ancestral deities, and magick.

✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆ ✴︎ ⋆

What kind of music do I like?

★ I mostly listen to R&B, Jazz, Neo-Soul, Pop, Hip-Hop, EDM, Hyperpop, House, LoFi, Alternative, Indie, Disco, and Pop-Punk.

[angeliqueshelleyartist]

Major Study

Production Post #30

Finishing and Polishing Characters

After the 45 degree angle technical drawing disaster, I took to Maya to give my self a fighting chance of finishing this mech. I used the quad draw tool on top of a plane textured with my side view to map out the basic proportions.

I extruded and duplicated the quad-draw generated shapes to slowly build up the 3 dimensional aspect of the character. It was a little challenging to get it even to this stage, so I aligned the camera so that I could keep the head of the robot which I liked.

I painted the light and shadows in large blocks and shapes and went back in to hone smaller details like screws and joints. The ground work involved in this mecha made the rendering process in Photoshop a lot faster than I originally anticipated, which was a true testament to the power of 3D!

I finally added the object for the engineer to lean on by taking Sketchfab screen shots, one with the wire view to give it a blue-print feel.

I finally finished rendering the Merchant, It was fun painting the various elements of her simplistic but unique outfit. I tried to have good brush economy while focusing on the fundamentals of good lighting. I try to really enhance the core of the shadow and the bounce light for a realistic look.

The Dark Solar Nomad's tent was in desperate need of greater thought. I replaced the spirit creature, which has its own page and is featured quite a lot, in favour of the solar tent, which I also made larger so that he can actually use it as a shelter, taking care to consider how he would carry it by including telescopic lightweight limbs in the design.

[3ofpents]

100 Palette Challenge // Palette #19 // Beautiful Margate

Today's palette comes from a fabric pattern designed by Constance Irving in 1918.

I admit, I was super excited about the blues and decided that whatever cryptid poster I was doing next, it needed to be an ocean-dwelling cryptid. I got a few suggestions over on Inkblot, but the one that both resonated with me and fit the palette was from TheDragonAuspex, who, among others, suggested Trunko.

Trunko hails from gorgeous Margate, South Africa. Seriously, look up photos of it, the beaches are stunning and have these very cool rocky outcroppings.

Trunko is alleged to be a whale-type animal with two major distinctions: Its trunk (hence the name), and its wooly coat. After Trunko washed up on the beach, someone claimed to have spotted it from their boat on their way into the harbor, saying that they saw Trunko fighting with some orcas.

I didn't really look into the theories behind why Trunko has a trunk or hair because honestly it's pretty obvious when you see the picture(s) that it was just a whale carcass. Really, even the claim that it was "fighting" some orcas backs that up — orcas are very energetic eaters, I can believe that someone saw them chowing down and thought their dinner was still alive.

But honestly, who could resist a fuzzy whale?

The one thing I did find interesting is that when I was looking up reference photos, most of what I found was artwork, most of which depicted Trunko straight up as a whale with an elephant head.

As much fun as I had figuring out the water and the way it interacts with the rocks, and getting the fur right on Trunko? This was a motherfucker of a project. Not because drawing it was particularly hard (though I did have a time figuring out the rocks), but because I lost HOURS of work, MULTIPLE times.

First Corel crashed and I lost everything. Then Photoshop crashed my tablet and while I didn't lost the file, I did lose the palette. Then I downloaded Clip because I found out they were bullied into not pivoting to a subscription model, but I had already done like an hour of work before I realized that I had already used up my free trial last year and I wasn't allowed to save anything. "Just buy a license!" you say. I did! But I couldn't convince the version that was already downloaded on my tablet to acknowledge the license and the baby had woken up from his nap. It took me another couple of hours this afternoon to figure out that I needed to uninstall it completely and re-download it. Which was a pain in the ass! But at least now I have it.

Anyway! If there are any cryptids you think need a little more love and attention, let me know! I've got 81 more palettes left and I haven't run out of steam yet on these designing these travel posters!

[heartfullofrain]

Disheveled hair (by Hux’s standards) and a five o’clock shadow. He’s trying very hard to come up with a believable excuse. Kylo’s smugness is not helping...

Original photograph by Annie Leibovitz for Vanity Fair ( Summer 2017).

[hanayanaa]

had a dream my entire high school class was like doing a Splatoon competition but we were in at w touhou convention and everyone was in cosplay

you might think this was like we were playing splatoon. No we were having a fucking turf war in th gym, we were the suips. you had a few seconds to discuss with your friendsbwhat team to join so you could all play together and then you'd step onto one side of this box divided in half and that would be your ink colour. there wasn't any splatfest theme or anything it was basically splatzone but with way more people and way more potential for bodily harm because we were fucking inside

we were in a convention hall but we got transported to a stage that was like a zoo... thing. there weren't any animals but it had that like jungle feeling with lots of light coloured wood. also it was freshly built so it smelled strongly of wood

there were also these weird little creatures i got to hold during downtime, one of them was this furry thing with little hands it let me hold but when it was excited it would turn into one of those photoshopped animals with giant eyes and i thought it was scary as fuck. the other one was like a jerboa but purple and it shat on my cosplay , i don't remember wgo I was cosplaying as atm though, i remember after i changed into marisa bc my koishi was too expensive and cumbersome for turfing

also to get a weapon you had to fight over this little pile of plushies of the weapon or like, i remember my friend cookietanukiart on twt did a tanuki plush for squishable and there were three of them there (the third one was fucked up though)

the tanuki gave you a splash for some reason, idk why i grabbed a tanuki when i was reaching for nzap but i play both so it's whateva. i remember mostly using nzap though + i held the gun before irl so

also stepping into ink was weird bc the ground below you would just disappear at like ~120° angle and your foot would be completely submerged in, swimming in that was fun as hell though, couldn't see where I was going unfortunately LMFAO all i saw was neon blue. it wasn't slimy either it was smooth and thick, not sure what to compare it to though.... I guess if you put a little cornstarch in water it'd be similar. not too much though

it was a bit cold but when you zipped through it friction would make you feel warm ish, wasn't too bad

i remember sweeping during the blue v pink round, i was blue with a bunch of my friends

also I think i was a squid despite being an octo in game, but also I was just me with my normal human hair and shit, just could turn into a squid for some reason and so could everyone else

not sure what else to write, falling back asleep, will keep updated o7

[tobesobri]

Traditions | 17.3k

a/n: it's been a while since I uploaded writing and for some reason I decided to sign up for this challenge and by some miracle actually managed to write something for it 🤯anyways, this is for the Valentine's Day Challenge by @1dffchallenges and it's honestly just a bit of fun, enemies to lovers little bit of angst and some smut! so i hope you enjoy! I'd always love to know your thoughts!! (also pls excuse any errors, I wrote this in a week with little editing lol)

prompt: doube date

dialogue: “So let me get this right. You want to hire me as your date for a Valentine’s Day Party?”

Pink and red were speckled throughout the entire office, whether it was a bouquet of chocolate roses, a banner of hearts, or stuffed bears residing next to bowls full of heart-shaped candies. Every employee’s section of the office had been filled to the brim with decorations as well. Pink and red ribbon taped carefully around the edges of their desktop computer, little store-bought balloons, also heart-shaped, grouped together and tied to desk chairs. 

And Y/N, dressed in her typical all black outfit, rolled her eyes as she paced through the office toward the one section in the back that was immune to all things heart-shaped, pink, or stuffed. 

She sat down at her desk with a loud sigh, her purse hitting the floor in its usual spot just before she slipped out of her jacket and draped it haphazardly between her back and the chair. It’d be wrinkled by the end of the day, but she didn’t care all that much, nor did she put much thought into the stains on her purse from leaving it on the floor. All she concerned herself with, after settling in, was getting straight to work… which was put on hiatus when she came face-to-face with both a pink and heart-shaped sticky note plastered onto the center of her computer screen. 

Groaning, she ripped it off and moved to turn her computer on before she bothered to read whatever was written on the note. She considered three potential suspects while she pulled her keyboard down onto her desk and logged in. There was Kayla, who worked front reception and was one of the main culprits of all the Valentine’s decorations. A strong contender. It could’ve also been Ines or Carmen, her closest work friends whom Y/N knew both owned a pad of pink, heart-shaped sticky notes. 

However, when she finally let her eyes fall to the note as her computer loaded up, the handwriting didn’t match any of the women she knew, and she was quite positive that none of them would have written was was sprawled out in black ink either.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I will fill your office with teddy bears and balloons, if you don’t send me your half of the proposal by two.

Harry.

She crumpled the note and tossed it into the bin under her desk. He could go fuck himself for all she cared. Sure, she was nearly done with her portion of the work and would be able to send it to him before then, but now that he’d pestered her about it, he’d be lucky if she even bothered to send it to him at all. 

She didn’t doubt the promise, i.e. threat, he made on the note, but being surrounded by teddy bears and balloons would be worth making Harry’s life just a tad miserable.

After opening all the apps she’d need to get her work done, namely Photoshop and Illustrator, she connected her drawing tablet and set up the rest of her work station for the day, both on screen and off.

Harry had worked at the company for about two years longer than her and she’d started off as an intern while she was still in college and, after graduating, was hired as a permanent graphic designer. They had never really gotten along ever since Harry—jokingly—asked her to get him a coffee once… or twice. Unfortunately for her, though, they ended up working well together and their boss had stuck them both on the same projects ever since. Especially after the month-long project last spring that had been their most successful one to date. 

While she came up with the design parts of client projects, Harry handled the more technical side of things and they’d never really argued much over each other’s work even though they clashed constantly at a more personal level. 

“I see your feeling festive.” Just as she’d gotten into the groove of her typical morning and had forgotten all about Harry’s stupid note, his voice interrupted her entire thought process. So when she swiveled around to find him leaning into her little office space, it was hardly a surprise when she glared at him, even though he feigned offense at her bitterness.

“You got my note, I presume.” He let himself into her space anyway, holding a mug of steaming coffee she was sure he’d just made in the workroom, and leaned up against the opposite side of her desk that housed a much larger, digital drawing tablet for when she needed to do more intricate design pieces. 

She just swiveled back around to face her computer again and went back to work as if he was no longer there. Pretending to ignore his existence proved to be quite difficult when the very particular woodsy, vanilla scents of his cologne met her nostrils and filled her entire office. Not to mention, the sight of what he’d been wearing singed the backs of her eyelids so that she still saw him every time she blinked. It was as if her brain refused to let her forget what he looked like in his white button-up, sleeves rolled to the crooks of his elbows, all tucked into his fitted black trousers that tended to get the imaginations going of all the women in the building. 

Not her though, of course. She was better than that. Obviously.

He cleared his throat, still very much present in her space and still very much giving her a migraine. “So will it be ready by two?”

“Well, I planned to send it to you before lunch.” She tweaked the spacing between letters of a potential logo for the millionth time. “But now… I think I might need the rest of the day.”

She heard rustling behind her and knew he was shifting his weight impatiently and running a hand through his hair as he often did when he was… displeased. “I told you I’m leaving early tomorrow and I need it no later than two.”

She cocked her head to the side, still staring at her computer screen and not giving him an ounce of satisfaction. “Did you tell me that?” She teased, an amused smirk lifting the corners of her mouth when she heard him groan behind her. “I must’ve forgotten.” Shrugging, she went back to her work.

“Unlike you,” he snapped, “some of us actually have a love life and I’d appreciate you not fucking up mine.”

She froze then, only for a split second, when his words sank in. Two thoughts raced through her head. The first a string of curse words because of his assumption that she didn’t have a love life. But the more prominent and worrisome part of his statement was that he did have one. And that he was leaving early tomorrow—Valentine’s Day—so he could get ready for a date.

Throwing both her prickly exterior and heartbreaking smirk up again, she turned to face him. “I’ve known you for three years now and if anyone has the potential to fuck up your love life, it’s you.”

He narrowed his eyes at her and her gaze fell to the hand that seemed to wrap a bit tighter around his Bugs Bunny mug. His knuckles whitened and she met his heated stare again, pleased with herself for getting him riled up before he’d even finished his morning coffee.

“So,” she continued before he get get a word of retaliation out, and sat back against her chair, crossing her legs confidently as she folded her hands in her lap. “Who’s the poor girl you’ve tricked into going on a date with you this time?”

Harry had a terrible track record. The longest relationship he’d been in lasted for two months, and that was well before she’d known him. Everything else he had was just a one or two night thing and nothing more. Sure, it was all more than she had, but she preferred it that way. Harry seemed to resent the fact that he couldn’t keep a girlfriend to save his life.

“You don’t know her.”

Her smile widened. “How long have you been seeing her?”

“Couple weeks.”

“Ooh, that just might be your second longest relationship, Styles.” 

“Well at least I’ve had one.”

His jab didn’t have an affect on her however, and he knew it wouldn’t because it never did. He knew she didn’t give a damn about relationships, or at least that’s what she claimed anyway. He couldn’t think of many twenty-four year old women who actually wanted to be alone. He actually couldn’t think of a mid-twenties anyone who wanted that.

“You’ll have to try harder than that.” She said nonchalantly, which irked him even more than he already was, and then swiveled away from him one last time, picking up her drawing pen and getting back to work.

“What’s your issue with relationships?” He went on and she knew he was headed right down a path intended to hurt her feelings just as much as she had his. So, she tensed slightly and braced for impact. “Is it a commitment thing? Or can you just not find anyone to put up with you for longer than five minutes?” 

She let his words sink their teeth in and then smiled to herself. “Hm. Seeing as you’ve been in my office now for,” she checked the time at the top right-hand corner of her screen, “eight minutes, maybe we should date.” She lifted a brow, awaiting his next response. 

It felt a bit like a cat-and-mouse chase bickering with Harry and since she was usually the cat, it brought her way too much pleasure fighting with him.

He scoffed. “Like I’d lower my standards for you.”

That one hurt, she had to admit. Not out loud or to Harry, but it still stung because it was true. He’d have to drop his standards to the floor to even consider dating her and she knew it. 

“Maybe,” she began, still half focused on her work, and ignored his comment all together, “some of us like being alone.”

“Nobody likes that.” He responded quickly and she heard a shift of his weight again and then his voice once more a few moments later. “It’s nice to be by yourself sometimes, yeah, but you can’t tell me you don’t want someone to come home to at the end of the day.” He crossed one leg over the other as he gripped the edge of her desk for support and just when she thought he was done, he kept going, “Someone you can vent to about your annoying co-worker.”

She glanced at him through the little portable mirror hanging above her desk—mostly used to make sure she looked decent before meeting with clients or, sometimes, Harry—and saw the tight smile on his lips. Almost as if that’s what he wanted, like he was talking about himself and not her. 

She’d slowed her progress down while he’d talked until she was no longer working at all. She no longer swiped her pen across the pad or had any idea what she was even doing when she focused solely on his words. Because, once again, whether he was talking about himself or about her, he was right.

“Yeah well,” she quickly hid herself back behind her wall and made her hands function properly again. “Some of us also don’t have the luxury of choosing whomever we want.”

She imagined him smirking at that one because, buried deep within her words was a compliment. That he was handsome enough to actually have anyone he wanted.

Instead, when she glanced at the mirror again and found him, there was the complete opposite of a smirk on his face, and as he stared down into his mug, clearly lost in thought, she wondered what the tightness in his jaw and the frown pulling on his lips meant.

She sighed and stole his attention away from his coffee. “I’ll have it to you before lunch. You can go now, unless you’d like to argue some more and slow me down by another…” she glanced at her clock again, adding up all the time he’d been standing in her office, “fifteen minutes.”

Without another word, she listened to the drag of his footsteps as he finally left her office space. And although she was glad to be rid of his distraction, the room felt so much bigger and so much colder and emptier without him in it. Shivering, she slipped back into her jacket and spent the next few hours doing nothing but staring straight ahead at her screen as she made final adjustments to her designs. 

Any other conversations with Harry were had over email as he worked in his own respective office, messaging her with every little concern he had in order to get his work done efficiently so that he wasn’t stressing to finish it tomorrow before he had to leave. Even though Y/N considered not responding to him a few times, just to spite him and slow him down for her own amusement, she found herself feeling guilty after leaving him hanging a couple times. Sure, she hated Valentine’s Day and everything surrounding it, but she’d almost hate even more the idea of both her and Harry being miserable tomorrow, so she inevitably gave in and cooperated with him. She’d probably regret it when he came back on Thursday spreading around the office all the gory details of his date, but at least he wouldn’t also be in a shitty mood. Her days were both boring and slow whenever Harry wasn’t having a good day. And although she’d blame it all on selfish reasons, it did also make her sad to see him frowning around the office and sulking when all she wanted to do was bicker with him and make him smile again, even just a little bit. But it was easier leaving him to his own devices than risk him finding out she cared about him enough to not wish sadness upon him.  

She couldn’t say the same for him. Harry probably relished in the days she came into the office in a sour mood. He probably celebrated and threw a party whenever she was upset, and, even so, it didn’t change how she felt about him.

The sun had long set and most of the office was gone by the time she finally called it quits and began packing up her things and giving her computer a rest for the night. There were still quiet murmurs from other workaholic employees, which comforting her knowing she wasn’t completely alone in the building, since the last time she’d done that, it took everything in her not to have a panic attack all the way to her car. 

Even though her boss told her countless times not to stay past five o’clock, as he told every other female employee that worked for him that he didn’t wish to see attacked after sunset in the city. Of course, when she was the only one who didn’t listen to him, he hired more guards and one of them rounded the corner into her office space, ready to escort her all the way down to her car.

“Figured you were still here.” He leaned against the walls of her cubicle and watched as she startled, twisting to meet his eyes for a moment before she settled and returned to slipping her belongings into her purse. 

“I don’t need you to escort me.” Zipping her purse, she rose from her chair, checking one last time across her desk to make sure she’d grabbed everything she needed to take home with her before turning to him as he still lingered in the opening of her little office. 

William had been hired a couple months ago, and was only a year older than her, but even so he was more than a foot taller than her and his biceps were about as big as her head. While the entire office drooled over him, she tended to keep her eyes and her thoughts to herself. 

“You say that every night you stay late. Just let me do my job and shut up about it.” He smirked at her and when her eyes met his again, sharply, glaring at him, she groaned and whirled past him toward the elevators. He followed swiftly behind, knowing she’d close the doors on him if he didn’t keep close enough pace with her, mostly because she’d done it before.

As he took his spot beside her and she pressed the button for the parking garage at the basement of the building, a familiar voice rang out through the office.

“Wait!” As if she wasn’t already annoyed enough with William’s presence, his stupidly large arm held the elevator doors open as Harry slipped inside a moment later.

“Thanks, mate.” Harry said exclusively to William as he caught his breath and stood wedged in the middle between the guard and Y/N, who was inching closer and closer into her corner to get away from Harry.

“You have any plans tomorrow?” Harry asked, his attention solely on William again while the elevator took off down through the levels of their building. Not fast enough for Y/N, of course.

William sighed, crossing his arms and trying to resist smiling. “Me and my girlfriend take turns surprising each other every year. And it’s her turn this year… so I guess I have plans, but I don’t know what they are.”

“Damn, way to make us feel incompetent.”

Y/N whirled her head to glare up at the side of Harry’s face. “Speak for yourself.” She warned.

Harry just ignored her though. “What did you guys do last year?”

Again, William stifled a grin. “I had been saving up for a while and took us both to Paris.”

“Shit.” Harry’s eyebrows rose and Y/N rolled her eyes away from him, watching the LED screen above the elevator doors as they neared the bottom levels of the building. She knew Harry and William had become friends, mostly because Harry was annoying and befriended everyone. Except her, of course. She heard his stupid voice again and wished she could just transport herself directly into the front seat of her car and be done with the both of them. “And now she has to do better than Paris.”

Y/N glanced around Harry just in time to see William smirk and she should have known what was about to come out of his mouth before it did. “Well, I don’t consider much better than her mouth ar—“

Y/N cut him off. “Ew! Are you serious?”

Both men eyed her curiously just as the elevator came to a stop and, with a ding, the doors opened. She flew toward them quickly.

“Y/N wait, I have to—“

Again, she cut him off, turning once she was out on solid ground. “I’ll be fine, besides trying to rid my mind of that image you just burned into it.” She turned on her heel and headed off toward her car.

William made a move toward her and Harry grabbed his arm, “I’ll walk her. Forgot she’s a bit of a prude.” They shared an amused look and Harry jogged out onto the concrete and asphalt until he reached her side.

“I heard that, you know… and I know for a fact your car is not parked in this direction.” She seethed and he just smiled to himself, happier than ever that she was in the mood to bicker with him, because he wasn’t quite in the mood to leave yet, where he’d have to wait till tomorrow morning at nine-thirty to see her again. And she wasn’t always the most talkative person on Valentine’s Day, either.

“Why are you the only female in our building not foaming at the mouth over him?” He asked instead, referring to William.

He heard her scoff. “Just because he’s attractive doesn’t mean I have to be interested… or want to hear about his girlfriend sucking his—“

“Cock?” Harry finished for her and within a second she spun around to face him, forcing him to stop in his tracks just inches from her now. His smirk only grew when he saw just how quickly he’d gotten her all flustered. 

And then, as they started each other down, the hardness in her face softened and she drew out a breath, forcing his eyes to fall to her lips and his smirk to fall from his mouth. He thought back to last spring, when there were numerous late nights with her just like this one. When he went home and couldn’t stop thinking about…

“Why are you looking at me like that?” She asked and he blinked a couple times before he lifted his eyes.

“Like what?” He furrowed his brows, trying to track down all the resentment he had for her but he couldn’t find it anywhere anymore. He couldn’t summon it and say something that would save his ass from being caught looking at her like he wanted to kiss her.

Like he wanted to taste her and feel her against him, and hear what she sounded like when he tugged at her hair for more.

“Nevermind.” She shook her head, silencing the chaos going on in his brain. And then she turned, continuing the walk to her car with or without him, but, when she heard the echoing click of his shoes against the asphalt once more, she knew she wasn’t rid of him yet.

“I don’t suppose you’ll give me a ride back to my car, will you?” He easily stepped back into place beside her like nothing had happened.

She didn’t say anything for much longer than he was comfortable with. And then, finally, they reached her car and she sighed. “Get in before I change my mind.”

As she went for the driver’s side, he took quick steps to the opposite side, watching her over the top of her little Honda as she unlocked her door, and then, after clicking the button, his door as well. They both slipped in at the same time and while she fastened her seatbelt and settled in for her drive home, he sat perched with his backpack in his lap, knowing he’d be out of her car within only a couple minutes.

He still glanced around at his surroundings as she backed out of her parking space. “Should’ve guessed your car would be as neat as your desk.”

She didn’t say anything as she drove in the opposite direction of the exit toward the section of the garage Harry always parked in. It was closer to the elevators because he always came in before her and snagged a prime spot. She preferred an extra few minutes of sleep over walking an extra fifty steps.

And he started up again when she continued to not talk to him. “Most artists I know of are super messy.”

“I’m not an artist.” She gritted out through her teeth as she came to a stop once she spotted the rear-end of Harry’s BMW. Although she knew it well enough to distinguish it from the other black BMWs in the garage, it also helped that Harry had an old, faded license plate cover filled with a collage of cute pictures of puppies. He’d said it won him bonus points with women, but she also knew his screensaver at work was a picture of puppies as well, and no women he was interested in ever saw that.

He peeled his eyes off his car and looked over at her. “I know you can draw, too.”

She paused, gripping her steering wheel. She did enjoy both art and design and she knew Harry knew the difference between the two. She just didn’t know why he always insisted on bugging her about it. 

“Yeah, well that doesn’t make me an artist.”

When he didn’t say anything, she glanced at him just in time to find him shrugging a shoulder like he was agreeing to disagree. Even if she couldn’t draw, he’d still consider her an artist because the things she managed to design always blew his mind and if that wasn’t art… 

She rolled her eyes. “Are you going to get out, or do I have to drag you?”

He grinned, and it was almost as if her eyes refused to see anything else but his dimples and the bright whites of his teeth, and the birthmark to the side of his mouth… 

“I’m going.” He assured, and yet he still hadn’t moved an inch. “Even though I’d love to see you try to drag me.” With her knuckles whitening on the steering wheel, he chuckled and unzipped the small pocket on the front of his backpack, withdrawing his keys as he finally swung her door open.

Once he was out, he gripped the top of the door and leaned back in to find her staring straight ahead. “Drive carefully, yeah? Would be quite tragic for your bitter ass to die on Valentine’s Day.”

She reached over and, despite having to brush her knuckles along the side of his thigh, grabbed the handle of the passenger door and yanked. His body remained in her way, however, and he was unfortunately a lot stronger than her.

Then she finally looked up at him, and those thoughts he had earlier surfaced again as much as he’d tried to bury them. This time though, he didn’t fight it as he glanced at her lips once more, then back at her eyes, which had widened slightly just before the dimples reappeared in his cheeks. “And I guess I would miss bickering with you every day.”

With that, he was gone and she retreated back to her seat as he shut the door for her. She had no idea what to think about what had just happened. Why he’d looked at her like that again. What that look even meant. 

By the time she reached the freeway, she’d convinced herself she was just seeing things. Harry wasn’t looking at her in any other way he had before when he was intent on pestering her. But, as she took in the scent of him still lingering in the cabin, she allowed a small part of her to hope she was wrong.

Her eyes fell on the man down the hall from her door as she slipped her key into the lock, her brows furrowing as she watched him. It wasn’t unusual for their paths to cross, as they tended to get home around the same time, but it was quite odd to see him sitting on the floor outside his apartment, his head in his hands. 

They’d said hi to each other a couple times in the mailroom, but she definitely didn’t know him well enough to go up and ask what his issue was or try to fix it for him. And after it was confirmed that he hadn’t, in fact, lost his keys, as they sat beside him on the floor along with his phone, she figured it best to leave him be. 

Turning her key, she pulled her gaze from him and disappeared from the hallway.

The second she was inside her apartment, she felt all the weight lift right off her shoulders, especially when her cat came racing up, screaming at her from the floor while also coaxing her toward the kitchen to fill the food bowl. Whatever was going on with her neighbor still very much on her mind, she tried to focus instead on relaxing and getting both her and the screaming Pretzel some dinner. 

She tried to remember his name as she heated up leftover pasta. She knew it started with an A, but her brain was coming up short. So, while Pretzel crunched on his food in his corner of the kitchen, she tried her hardest to remember. 

And it was no question why she cared so much. Her neighbor was someone she was actually interested in, and she had been since she first saw him. Of course, she was never foolish enough to think he was into her, but she still let herself fantasize. He was tall, nearly black curly hair atop his head always in a state of disarray, and he had the most beautiful blue eyes she’d ever seen hidden behind his glasses. And, if she was being honest with herself, he was just a darker-haired version of Harry. Maybe that’s why she liked him.

The beeping of her microwave tore her thoughts from the dangerous path they’d been headed down. Harry’s voice rang in her head a moment later.

Like I’d lower my standards for you.

She’d needed to hear him say that, because sometimes her thoughts got carried away when it came to Harry and sometimes she did let herself be a fool who hoped. But after he’d said that one damning phrase, it was enough for her to stop. She didn’t meet a single one of his standards, inside or out. 

Still, she tried her hardest not to go back out into the hall and make sure her neighbor was alright. Maybe he just needed someone to talk to and it wasn’t like she was doing anything important. Even if she didn’t have a dumb crush on him, as she did Harry, she still didn’t enjoy seeing him in the state he’d been in.

Before she could work up the nerve, however, a knock sounded through her quiet apartment.

She held her breath as she opened her door, really hoping it wasn’t the boy from across the hall, since she was still blanking on his name, but she couldn’t imagine anyone else knocking on her door this late into the evening. 

So when she inevitably found him there, looking down at her through his annoyingly long lashes as she took in the horrible state he was in—red, inflamed eyes and hair that needed to see a brush rather than his hand—she completely lost her breath instead.

“Uh, sorry, I… saw you come in and I know we don’t talk and this is a weird thing for me to ask but…” He ran said hand through said messy hair and she found her breath again while looking up at him like she’d do whatever he’d asked just so he’d stop frowning.

He sighed, glancing down the hall toward his apartment and then met her curious and somewhat concerned gaze. “Can I come in?”

She recoiled. “Um… why?”

“Well, um, I was hoping you could help me with something and I’d rather not have the entire floor know about it.”

She was beyond confused now, but still, she stepped aside and let him pass, assuming that if he was actually a murderer he would have done her in a lot sooner than this. He had plenty of other opportunities. Plus, something in his face just… made her want to trust him.

She closed the door and turned to him, watching as his eyes scanned her kitchen and where her food still sat before he twisted around, eyes wide. “Shit, I’m sorry for interrupting.”

She shook her head. “It’s fine.” And after clearing her throat, she crossed her arms over her chest. “What do you, um… what do you need help with?”

He swallowed and she watched his Adam’s apple budge in his throat. “I don’t imagine you’ll like me very much after I ask but… I need a date.”

“What?” Again, she nearly flew out of her skin.

His eyes darted back and forth between hers, gauging her reactions and very obviously on the verge of seeing himself out and pretending this never happened. Instead, he stuffed away his pride and went on. “My ex… she, uh… well we broke up a few months ago and I saw her the other day and she’s seeing someone and we were talking and I… told her I was seeing someone too and so she invited me to go on this stupid double date with her… but the thing is… I’m not actually seeing anyone and I just told her that so she’d be jealous but she didn’t seem jealous at all and I don’t exactly have many friends to ask for help and I saw you and…” He rambled, but she managed to understand his predicament just fine. 

“A double date? With your ex?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know either. She’s… she does weird shit but… I still want her back.”

Y/N’s heart ached in her chest. As much as she detested relationships, she was a sucker for other people’s relationships and she was definitely a sucker for her beautiful neighbor, even if he was asking to use her to make his ex-girlfriend jealous.

“Not that I’m saying yes but… when? And where?” She finally asked after thinking things over for a moment.

“Tomorrow night… I can pay you. I will pay you, I mean… but, seriously, you don’t have to do it I just thought I would ask.”

“Where is this date at?” She repeated when he didn’t answer that part of her question.

“At this party… and bef—“

She cut him off. “Okay so let me get this right. You want to hire me as your date to a Valentine’s Day party?”

He lifted a brow, “Well, there’s more… she wants to get dinner before going to the party.”

She shook her head, looking away, “I don’t really do Valentine’s Day…”

“You wouldn’t have to do much. I’ll pay for your dinner, too. Whatever you want. I just… really need your help and you’re my only option.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “You realize I’m not exactly…” she waved at her face and his eyebrows screwed together in confusion. “I’m not easy on the eyes and I don’t think taking me will make anyone jealous.”

He didn’t say anything for a while, just stared at her incredulously. She shifted her weight nervously and he finally opened his mouth. “You don’t actually think that, do you?”

Her features scrunched up and she kept her eyes planted on the middle of his chest. And then he realized that she, in fact, did.

“I’m so sorry… I shouldn’t have asked you to do this.” He also realized that using her to make his ex jealous would possibly hurt her more than it would help him and he could no longer fathom putting her through that. “I’ll figure it out. I’m sorry.” He moved to walk past her, back to his apartment but she stopped him before he got far.

“No… I’ll help you.” And then she realized his identity was still somewhat of a mystery to her. “This sounds even worse than what you just asked me to do, but… I completely forgot your name.”

He breathed out a laugh. “It’s Adam.”

She knew it had started with an A!

“Y/N.” 

He smiled wider and nodded. “I know.” And then his face grew sad again. “I am really sorry I’m asking you to do this on Valentine’s Day, it’s definitely not my proudest moment.”

She waved him off. “I wasn’t going to do anything anyway. Just tell me what you need me to do.” She didn’t bother brining up the whole payment thing. She didn’t really care about being paid. He was nice, the only nice person she’d encountered in her apartment building and if getting him back together with his ex meant she’d never have to come home and see him in the fetal position on the floor again, she’d suffer through a date and a party on her least favorite holiday.

It was somehow even worse than it’d been yesterday. The decorations seemed to triple in size. Not an inch of the office was untouched by something pink and she prayed whoever had put up even more decorations had spared her little cubicle.

“Oh, hey, Y/N!” One of the receptionists most responsible for the overflowing decor, Kayla, called her over to her desk not even a minute after Y/N had arrived. And she stalked over until she saw the package Kayla pulled out that instantly lifted her spirits.

She stopped in front of Kayla’s desk and took the thin box from from her, already knowing what it was and thanking god for the timing so that her entire day wasn’t completely miserable. It was a new drawing pad she’d ordered, a bigger one that she hoped would be a bit more efficient to use than her current one.

Even with her back turned to the rest of the office, she sensed Harry’s presence long before he stopped beside her with his mug in hand.

He lifted a brow at the package in Y/N’s hands just as she reluctantly turned to look at him. “Getting gifts sent to the office? That’s a first.”

She rolled her eyes and stuffed the box under her arm, holding herself back from running off to her office to set it up. “Jealous?” She cocked her head.

And instead of his condescending smirk and a hateful response to go with it, the sparkle in his eyes seemed to fade as he eyed the box again, genuinely worried now that it was actually a gift from someone. 

Before either could say anything, they all turned to find a delivery man walking up to Kayla with a giant bouquet of flowers in tow. And so it began. Although, when Kayla took the vase from the man eagerly, a bright smile on her face because Kayla loved love a little too much, Y/N couldn’t help but think about Adam. About how the only time she’d managed to get a date on Valentine’s Day was when it wasn’t even real. Instead, she’d stupidly agreed to help her cute neighbor win back his ex-girlfriend in exchange for a free dinner.

It was… pathetic. To say the least.

She felt Harry watching her, too, while she eyed the bouquet of flowers as they departed reception with Kayla and made their way to their recipient. As stupid as she found everything about the holiday, she couldn’t help but want someone to send her flowers. To give her anything for that matter. To have thought about her for at least a second of their day. Harry cleared his throat and she tore her eyes away.

“So… what’s in the box?”

“None of your business.” She rounded him, heading to her office, but he grabbed her free arm to stop her short and didn’t speak until she met his gaze again.

“Can we meet up in my office to finish the proposal? Think it’ll be easier to get it done than over email.”

She had every reason to be suspicious of him. They almost never worked in each other’s offices. When they did work together, which was often, it was in one of the empty conference rooms and it was usually at the beginning of the process when they needed the space to plan things out. The last time they’d really been in each other’s offices was last spring. Figuring he just wanted to get things done so he could be out of the office on time, she let it go.

“Give me fifteen minutes.”

He watched her walk away, watched her even as Kayla returned and noticed his gaze and giggled at him as she took her spot back behind her desk.

“It was something she ordered for herself, by the way.”

“What?” Harry whipped around again, not having even realized the other woman until now.

“I know you two pretend to hate each other but I see the way you look at her, Harry.” Kayla lifted a brow at him as she began typing on her keyboard.

He feigned disgust. “I’m seeing someone, you know.”

“Are you?”

“Yes.” He insisted. “I have a date. Tonight.”

She lifted her hands in surrender. “Okay… I’m just saying.”

“I don’t look at her.”

Kayla suppressed a smile and snorted instead. “If you say so. I guess you didn’t also sneak into her office this morning, either.”

“I think all these flowers and stuffed bears and heart-shaped things have gotten to your head.” He pointed around to the decor littering her desk while holding his mug steady.

Kayla met his eyes and her smile slipped off her face. “Harry, please don’t mess with her.”

His face screwed up. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“If you don’t like her then don’t lead her on.”

“I don’t think she’s capable of being led on.”

Kayla froze for a moment and then nodded. “You’re right.”

He wasn’t sure what she meant by that either. “Why are you being weird?”

“Because,” Kayla sighed, brushing her curled brunette hair onto one shoulder and then lowered the volume of her voice. “I happen to know she doesn’t think very highly of herself and I’d rather not see her get hurt, especially not by you.”

Now Harry froze. The hand that gripped his mug tightened and he didn’t even flinch as it began to burn his skin. He heard Y/N’s voice in his head then as he drowned out his surroundings.

Some of us don’t have the luxury of choosing whomever we want.

He had instantly regretted what he’d said to her yesterday when she’d told him that. And now hearing Kayla, in a way, confirm what he’d read between the lines of Y/N’s words… his chest tightened in quite possibly the worst way ever. He’d hated himself most of the day after telling her he’d never lower his standards for her and he could say he was just bickering all he wanted, but he knew now for certain she took it the wrong way. And he wished more than ever that he hadn’t said something so horrible to her, especially when it was the farthest thing from the truth. 

And the real truth, that he was trying desperately to shove away with stupid remarks like that, was that he didn’t meet her standards. She wasn’t into relationships and he knew he wasn’t good enough to change her mind.

“How do you know that?” He finally asked.

“That Christmas party last year… she’s a really happy drunk until she’s not.”

He flinched. “Did she say something?”

“I don’t want to get into it, mostly because I don’t think she remembers and would probably kill me if I told you but… just leave her be.”

He hardened back up again. “She does’t have any interest in relationships anyway, ‘specially not with me.”

Kayla scoffed. “She’s a really good liar.”

Harry stood there for a few more moments, feeling as if his life had just gotten flipped upside down. He’d been in such a good mood mere minutes ago before his dumbass waltzed into reception all because he’d seen Y/N. Because, despite everything and despite the fact he was already attempting to date someone else, it was Y/N he wanted to be close to all the damn time. Groaning, he turned on his heel and left for his office, hoping she wasn’t there waiting for him so he could have a moment to himself to gather his thoughts.

In a hurry to open her package, Y/N slumped down into her chair tossing her purse on the ground at her feet and pulling out her box cutter in a rush of movements. She was so distracted, in fact, that she didn’t even notice the little stuffed frog, the box of chocolates and envelope sitting on the other side of her desk near her mouse. Instead, she unboxed her new tablet and began setting it up, not noticing the gifts until she went to turn on her computer. And then she froze.

With reluctant hands she grabbed the envelope first, her name printed on it in perfect cursive. She knew nobody in the office who had such good penmanship. Opening the card in hopes of finding out who had placed the items on her desk, instead, she just found it signed as ‘secret admirer.’ Rolling her eyes, she set the card down and realized it had to be from her boss. Sometimes he remembered to go around and give everyone little gifts on the holidays. Obviously he’d remembered this year. 

She dug into the chocolates as she set up her tablet and began calibrating it to suit her needs before finally testing it out in the little bit of time she had before she needed to make her way to Harry’s office. 

And once that time came, she left everything in its place, besides the box of chocolates, which she continued to pick at while she made her way through the room. What she didn’t notice while stuffing her face with candy was that… no one else had a stuffed frog or chocolates or a cheesy little card on their desks.

She rounded the corner into Harry’s office, which was a real office and not a cubicle that he usually shared with one other person who was thankfully out with clients for the day. She knocked on the doorframe to get his attention after just watching him focus on his screen for a moment. Harry was cute when he was focused.

But then he turned to her and his eyes fell to the box in her hand.

When he didn’t say anything, she held it out toward him. “Do you want some? I think Andrew was feeling generous this year.”

Harry’s eyes quickly panned up to hers and his brows furrowed as if she’d just punched him in the gut. And she couldn’t make out what that expression meant no matter how hard she tried. 

“He didn’t give me anything.” Harry motioned around his desk.

“Maybe he doesn’t like you.” She shrugged, setting the chocolates down on his desk while she grabbed his office mate’s chair and pulled it up beside him.

Harry sighed, turning to his computer for a moment and then watching her from his peripheral while she picked out another piece of chocolate. “I didn’t see anyone else with chocolates on their desks this morning.”

Y/N just shrugged. “There was a frog too. And a card.”

“And why do you think he’d give you all of that and no one else?” Harry hoped she’d get the hint but he didn’t hope too hard. She was still Y/N after all. And he really didn’t mean to sound so bitter… well, okay, he did. But he knew she’d misplace his bitterness, crushing what little hope there was to bits.

“Maybe he likes me better than all the rest of you.”

Harry scoffed, shaking his head as he put his attention back on his screen. 

“No one else in this office would give me a card signed as a secret admirer so… maybe I did something I don’t remember doing and he’s thanking me?” Now that she really thought about it, and if Harry was right… then it really didn’t make  much sense. It’s not like she was Andrew’s favorite employee.

Harry just lifted a brow and then pretended to lose all interest. 

Sensing the tension, she slipped the box closer to him. “Here. I think you need a knock-off Snickers if you expect me to work with your grumpy ass.” He made no move to indulge her, however. And so she went on, continuing to poke the bear. “Why are you in a lousy mood anyway? Isn’t this your favorite holiday? And you get to leave early.”

His eyes fell from his screen and he stared at the brick of sticky notes below his monitor before mumbling, “I’m sorry about what I said yesterday.”

Taken aback, she searched what she could see of his face for answers to what he was apologizing for. He’d said a few things she could imagine deserved an apology and yet, so did she. Maybe she should have been the one to apologize to him first.

“I didn’t mean to say what I did.” He finally turned to meet her face on. He’d hoped the frog and the chocolates would have been atonement enough, but considering she thought they were from their boss and not him, he just had to suck it up and actually say what he meant.

She shrugged. “It’s fine. I can be a prude sometimes.”

He searched her eyes for a moment and then shook his head, “No that’s not… I meant what I said earlier in your office… about lowering my standards. It was a stupid thing to say and not true in the slightest.”

But then she smiled and he grew confused. “Yes it is. It’s okay to have standards, you know.”

“I know that. But if we… I wouldn’t have to lower my standards. And it was cruel of me to have said that to you.”

She couldn’t stand looking at him any longer and averted her gaze, clearing her throat. “Well it doesn’t matter so… can we just get this proposal done?”

He’d wanted to spend how ever long it took to convince her that it did, in fact, matter, but Y/N was persistent, more so than him, and so he’d given in and they moved on to being productive with their time. And in less time than he’d anticipated their proposal was finished, being sent off to Andrew for approval before their presentation at the end of the week with their clients.

Harry sat back in his chair and she returned her own to the other desk where it belonged, all while he watched her. 

“What do you do on Valentine’s Day?” He asked, just trying to get her to stay longer, knowing that if those were his true intentions, then he was fucked. That he wanted to be around Y/N, even though he was seeing someone else, albeit for just a week so far, even though she’d never want the same from him. 

Maybe he was just as terrible with relationships as she claimed if he always chased after what he couldn’t have.

“That is also none of your business.” She grabbed her box of chocolates from his desk, his voice pinning her in place again though.

“Let me guess… it involves chocolate, your cat, and the most anti-romantic movies you can find?”

He would not think her very prudish if he knew what else she did on Valentine’s Day while alone in her apartment, but she figured it was best to keep that to herself. Instead, she smiled at him. “Something like that.”

He narrowed his eyes and threw his arms up behind his head as he laid back in his chair, watching her curiously like he was trying to figure her out. Meanwhile, she was trying to not make it obvious she was staring at his biceps as they just about bulged from underneath the sleeve of his pink button-up. He’d done it on purpose though, so as much as she tried to hide it, he still grinned with satisfaction when she became flustered.

“Well, have fun with that, then.” He nodded, and for a moment while she was lost in his eyes and growing embarrassingly hot, she wondered if he could read her mind. If he knew exactly what not-so-innocent things she did on Valentine’s Day. Then he brought his arms back down to rest his elbows on the edge of his desk, pinching his bottom lip between his fingers and watching as she rolled her eyes, held her chocolates close, and left his office. 

Adam arrived right when he said he would at five-thirty. It had given her plenty of time to change out of her work clothes and into one of the few dresses she owned, to at least seem somewhat convincing that this was a real date. She also fixed her makeup and put on a pinkish-nude lipstick before switching out her bulky purse for a smaller crossbody. 

When she opened the door to him, he most certainly did not disappoint. She almost let herself get lost in the delusion that it was a real date when she saw him dressed to the nines and cleaned up for the first time since she’d known him. And she especially got a little lost in it when he pulled a small bouquet of flowers from behind his back and handed them to her. 

“You didn’t have to—“

“I know.” He gave her a once over when she wasn’t looking. “You didn’t have to do this for me either.”

She quietly accepted the flowers and let him in while she found a vase and filled it with water. He leaned on the counter, watching her as she did so.

“You look… beautiful, by the way.” He blurted out once she had cut and placed the stems into the vase. Her hands froze, though, and when he met her eyes, he knew he’d made a mistake.

“You’re paying me to make your ex-girlfriend jealous. Please don’t flatter me.”

“Sorry.” He muttered, although he was beginning to wonder if the bigger mistake was not taking her out on a proper date that had nothing to do with his ex. 

She sighed and adjusted the strap of her purse. “Let’s go then.”

He went over all the final details on the Uber ride to the restaurant. Things about his ex he thought Y/N should know about. And he made sure she knew, for about the hundredth time, that she didn’t have to do anything she didn’t want to. And she reminded him for an equal amount of times that she never did anything she didn’t want to do. So, settling that, he helped her out of the back of the Uber when they arrived and opened the door to the restraint for her as well. Everything that she’d expect from a normal date, which only left her disappointed when she reminded herself it wasn’t.

She waited quietly, and tried to catch her nerves, while Adam talked to the hostess and gave her his ex’s name for the reservation. The place was packed and anyone who didn’t call ahead surely would not be getting a table tonight. She’d never been out on Valentine’s Day, though, so it was like stepping into a brand new world for her. And as she followed both the hostess and Adam, she paid more attention to all the couples enjoying their meals than anything else.

Except for when he reached back and grabbed her hand, entwining their fingers just before they came to a stop. She blinked her eyes at their hands for just a moment before he gently pulled her around next to him. And whatever way she’d felt about holding Adam’s hand went right out the window when she locked eyes with Harry.

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

The last thing she expected to find, while Laura, the gorgeous blonde ex-girlfriend, stood to hug Adam, was Harry fucking Styles. And what a fucking coincidence it was, almost as if this was her karma for feeling the need to constantly help people. 

Adam’s hand slipped from hers but she didn’t even notice it anyway. She and Harry still stared each other down and neither of them moved a muscle either. Well, besides the one in his jaw as it tightened. Then he did move, glancing over at Adam with a blank expression before landing his gaze back on her again. And then his eyes fell to the glass of water in front of him and she felt like she’d been released from chains he’d tied around her wrists.

“This is Y/N,” Adam’s hand went to the small of her back, guiding her forward to meet his ex-girlfriend and Harry’s current… whatever they were. 

Laura held out her hand, her smile a little too forced. “Laura. It’s nice to meet you. Please, sit.” She ushered them to the table as she took her spot beside Harry again. Adam, of course, took the chair opposite Laura, which left Y/N in the one opposite Harry. 

This would be a long, hellish night.

She couldn’t help but wonder what Harry was thinking. That maybe she’d come to crash his date. Or, even worse, that he’d already figured the whole thing out. That Adam was paying her to be here. She really hoped he’d never find out because it was just embarrassing enough to make her want to change her name and move across the country, thousands of miles away from him. Harry finding out that she couldn’t get a real date to save her life… beyond humiliating.

“This is Harry.” Laura motioned to him and he just barely lifted his gaze, nodding at Adam and ignoring Y/N entirely. “You know,” the blonde went on, glancing between Adam and Y/N, “I was a little shocked when you told me you were seeing someone again.”

Adam just shrugged.

“How did you guys meet?” 

Y/N left all the talking to him. Mostly because she was still in shock that she was sitting across from Harry. And she hadn’t even taken the time to properly take him in and realized he’d also changed his clothes since work. Swapping his wardrobe out for a fitted black button-up, that wasn’t buttoned all the way to the top as his shirts normally were. The sleeves were already rolled to his elbows. He’d shaved off the scruff along his jaw as well and fixed his hair so that it was combed back out of his face, although a a couple rebellious strands hung down onto his forehead. He looked… like absolute perfection. And he was being forced to be on a date with the ex-boyfriend of the girl he was seeing and his annoying co-worker. She felt terrible for him.

“Oh, uh, well we live on the same floor.”

Laura nodded, clearly anticipating more. “Is that it?”

Y/N felt Adam tense up beside her and so she took over, easily spinning a lie. “I ran out of milk one night a few weeks ago. He’s the only one who answered the door.”

She noticed a flash of movement in her peripheral and turned to find Harry’s gaze on her again, one eyebrow lifted curiously. He was either wondering how she hid it so well, or trying to figure out what to ask in order to reveal their ploy. He never said anything, though.

“Sorry, um,” Laura’s tone changed as she glanced between Harry and Y/N, both of them looking away when the other girl interrupted. “Do you two know each other?”

Harry grinned, sitting back against his seat and folding his hands in his lap. “Something like that.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “We work together.”

“Really?” Although her tone said otherwise, Laura’s face said everything about how she felt upon hearing that bit of information. 

Adam twisted his worrisome gaze to Y/N, but she ignored it. Harry, however, did not.

“Don’t worry, mate. I was under the impression she was celibate up until now.” With that, Y/N kicked him under the table and he sat forward to swallow the groan that very nearly left his lips after she’d jabbed him in the shin with the toe of her heels. “Guess she’s really good at hiding things, though.”

Adam just chuckled nervously and Y/N shot him an apologetic smile, trying to reassure him that this date would still work out despite Harry. 

“What a small world.” Laura laughed, trying to break the tension but dinner hadn’t even started yet. 

Sometime during the main course, Laura excused herself to the bathroom and Y/N almost, in a desperate attempt to flee both Adam and Harry, invited herself along. But she figured it’d be worse to be alone with Laura than with them. Laura might ask questions she wasn’t prepared for. So, she stayed put, as much as it pained her to do so.

“So, Adam, what do you do for a living?” Harry asked suddenly and she wanted to kick him again. Mostly because his tone was that of a jealous teenager and he’d waited until Laura was gone to pester her ex-boyfriend who most certainly did not deserve Harry’s pestering.

“Oh, uh, I’m an artist. I work for an animation studio at the moment but I’m trying to get into freelance.”

Harry’s eyes shot to the suspiciously quiet girl sitting across from him. “So is Y/N.”

Adam turned to look at her, but she just glared at Harry. “Oh, I didn’t know that.”

Harry titled his head as he narrowed his attention in on Adam again. “So you’ve known her for a few weeks and you never asked what she did?”

“Harry.” Y/N warned, trying to kick him under the table again but he dodged out of the way.

“Well… she said she was in graphic design… not art.” She had told him that, during their crash course yesterday while they got to know as much as they could about each other in a span of a couple hours.

“I think it’s the same thing.”

Adam just shrugged. “I guess. I don’t think I could be a designer, though. Most artists make what they think looks good, designers create things to appeal to customers.”

“Just ignore him.” Y/N advised and Harry was the one shooting her daggers and attempting to stomp his foot on top of hers under the table this time.

“You and Laura used to date then? She never told me how you split up.” Harry moved on.

Adam swallowed nervously. “She broke up with me.”

“Why?” Harry pushed and Y/N looked at him like she wanted to kill him, which he ignored.

“I, uh… I had a drug problem for a while. I was not the best person to be around sometimes. But after we broke up, she helped me with rehab and everything.”

“Guess that explains why you’re on such good terms.”

Now Y/N really wanted to do more than just kick him. 

Adam grabbed Y/N’s hand under the table and pulled her straight from her violent thoughts about Harry. And he didn’t lace his fingers between hers, instead, it felt as if he had just been looking for something to ground himself with. And her hand resting on her lap was the closest thing he could find. It didn’t, however, go unnoticed by Harry and his jaw clenched as he stared at the point in the table where, just below, there their hands met almost as if he was trying to set everything on fire.

Laura returned shortly after that. 

As promised, Adam paid the entirety of both his and Y/N’s bill, even though she attempted to snag it from him, seeing as the date had gone to shit and it was all her fault. Well… maybe it was also Harry’s fault a little bit too. But she definitely did nothing to make Laura jealous. Adam, on the other hand, did a great job at making Harry jealous just by existing and being Laura’s ex, whom she was still friends with. 

The four of them stood outside on the curb awaiting their Uber after dinner was over, agreeing upon splitting one car to get to the party instead of taking two. Laura was apparently very cautious about fossil fuel consumption.

Y/N shivered as she stood between Adam and Laura, wishing she’d bright a jacket instead of relying on a long-sleeve dress to keep her warm. Then an arm wrapped around her shoulders and Adam pulled her close, running his hand up and down her arm to form heat. She tensed up, though, forming into an immovable brick. She had no idea the last time she’d been that close to another person, let alone a member of the opposite sex. When he felt her go rigid, he leaned down until his lips were at her ear. “Is this okay?”

She just nodded and tried to relax. Which turned out to be quite easy because Adam was warm and he smelled nice. She, of course, didn’t let her mind wander off too far. He was still in love with his ex. He’d still shove cash into her hand at the end of the night for her troubles and go on with his life.

Adam let go of her when the car pulled up and quickly went to the passenger door to confirm with the driver. Then he opened the back door for the three of them to climb in, Laura going first, then Harry, and, at last, Y/N, while Adam slipped into the front seat beside the driver.

While the car took off, Y/N was shoved into the corner when Harry moved closer to her in order to find both his and Laura’s seat buckles in the dark. Eventually, he settled back into the middle and gave her some space again. When she made no move to do the same as them, Harry turned to look down at her. 

“Put your seatbelt on.” He whispered.

Her eyes whirled up to his. Wordlessly, and of course after rolling her eyes, she grabbed her seatbelt and he made room for her to buckle it in. Then she sat back in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest while she stared out at the traffic through her window.

She would have stayed in that exact position the entire trip, too, if Harry’s knee didn’t insist on bumping into hers constantly. And she couldn’t tell if he was doing it on purpose or not.

When she glanced up at him, and found the corner of his lips curl upward, she figured it was, in fact, purposeful. So, with the hand closest to him as her arms were still crossed, she poked him in the side, right against his ribs, hoping it hurt.

“Ouch.” He whined, covering the spot with his hand dramatically. Everyone in the car glanced at Harry, all except for Y/N who snickered as she returned to staring out the window.

Harry wasn’t giving up, though. This time, with his arms crossed in his lap, and glancing at Laura to be sure she wasn’t watching, he walked his pointer and middle finger up the outside of Y/N’s thigh, close enough to her hip to make her squirm slightly when his touch tickled her. And as soon as he got her attention, he looked down at what he was doing and pressed his middle finger against her, meeting her gaze with a smirk.

In the same moment, the driver turned up the music in the car as they waited tirelessly at a red light. It was better than silence or listening to his passengers breathing. But Harry mentally thanked him and turned his attention back to Y/N, leaning into her slightly until his lips were at her ear and she shivered for an all new reason.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a dress before.” He whispered for her ears only. The music was especially loud in the back and he wasn’t sure Y/N had even heard him.

Especially since she didn’t respond right away. But how could she? Harry’s fingertips were still grazing her thigh, as if trying to emphasize the dress she had on. And his stupid knee was pressed right up against hers. She couldn’t think straight.

Though when she finally turned to him and whispered back, “Don’t get used to it,” he knew she had, in fact, heard him well enough. 

He leaned again, “Afraid I already am.” 

She hated that there were butterflies in her stomach. That he was saying such odd things to her when his date was sitting just on the other side of him. The date who most definitely met all Harry’s standards.

Huddling away from him, she stuck her eyes out the window and kept them there the rest of the trip.

It was just past eight when they arrived, a fifteen-minute trip up through the city taking half an hour due to all the Valentine’s Day traffic. Another reason she hated this holiday.

The party was being held by Laura’s best friend, who’s name Y/N did not care to commit to memory. In the elevator ride up to the penthouse, though, Harry stood close to Laura, his arm wrapped around her waist and Adam to Y/N, although he didn’t touch her. She wouldn’t have minded if he did, but she figured it was best to keep those boundaries in place anyway.

Pink and golden balloons littered the ceilings of the penthouse. The drink cups were also pink, as was the communal punch bowl that Y/N steered clear of, having no idea what was in it, or who had already spiked it. She knew nobody at the party besides who she’d come with, though she assumed both Adam and Harry were somewhat acquainted with Laura’s friends. 

It was most definitely not someplace Y/N ever saw herself being at, not only because it was a Valentine’s themed party, but also because she wasn’t exactly comfortable around so many people. Especially when those people were all so unfamiliar to her.

“Here,” Adam handed her a drink and then grabbed one for himself. She downed the thing in one go, needing to take the edge off. It might’ve been a slight mistake when the alcohol burned the back of her throat, but she didn’t care too much when she grabbed another.

Then he was leading her into the dancing pit of bodies where they huddled close enough so that his lips were at her ear. “Is it alright if I touch you?”

She glanced over at where Laura and Harry had been left, finding both her hazel eyes and Harry’s green ones glued to the both of them. She wasn’t sure what Harry’s deal was, but this was her moment to fix things and make Laura jealous, so, turning back to Adam, she nodded.

He eased his hands onto her waist as they began swaying to the music. And then he pulled her closer, his hands slipping to the small of her back as her arms wrapped around his neck, being careful with her own movements even though she desperately wanted to sink her hands in his hair.

And, god, he smelled so good as her head rested in the crook of his neck. And he felt good, too, as he moved against her body. She knew it wasn’t real, and that the alcohol was making skewing her perception of things, but it was still nice. Nice to be held and to just let go for a change.

Over Adam’s shoulder, Y/N caught Harry’s eyes again. His jaw clenched and he looked the same as he did back at the restaurant. Angry. And then she realized that maybe she wasn’t really trying to make Laura jealous anymore at all, but rather Harry.

It was dumb, she knew that. He’d have to like her in order for her to make him jealous. But… the way he was looking at her. The way he had looked at her. His eyes lingering too long on her lips. What he’d done in the car ride here. 

She heard Adam in her ear again. “I think it’s working. She just stormed off into the kitchen.” Then he pulled away and she realized she hadn’t even seen Laura. Just Harry. Harry and his stupid, obnoxious green eyes.

“You owe me more than just dinner.” Y/N teased but Adam grew serious.

“I know. And since you refuse to accept my money, I’ll have to figure out another way to repay you.” He smiled and then twirled her around so that she no longer had any line of sight toward Harry. He pulled her close again, one hand going to her waist while the other stayed locked to one of hers. “Suppose I could start with making your coworker just as jealous… although I think he already is.”

Confusion flooded her features as she peered up at him. 

“Oh, come on! He was ready to rip my head off when he realized I’d grabbed your hand. And when I put my arm around you? I thought I might be better off just giving you my jacket and freezing to death instead.”

“I don’t…” she shook her head in disbelief. It was one thing for her to be pretending to make Harry jealous in some delusional hope that it’d work. But this… this was a whole other thing.

“I’m actually quite interested to see what he does if I kissed you.”

She was shocked at first and then, possibly due to the alcohol, just as interested. “Are you asking my permission?”

“Are you saying yes?”

Y/N hesitated. “Is she back?”

Adam’s eyes scanned the room and Y/N realized he hadn’t asked to kiss her for Laura’s sake at all.

“She is.” He finally announced. 

Without any more second guessing, Y/N’s hand slipped to the back of his neck and pulled him in. As soon as their lips collided and she tasted the alcohol on him, she knew that she’d never agreed to this without it. Or maybe she would. Adam spun them back around again, deepening the kiss as her eyes opened and fell into the direction she’d last seen Harry.

He was still there.

Still watching.

His hands in fists. His jaw tightened into a crisp line. His nostrils flared. His eyes… sad.

She pulled away. Adam steadied her, grabbing her shoulders when she swayed. But, as she caught her breath, the dizziness went away. 

“I’m going to find the bathroom.” She told him and after he nodded, she left, forming a rift for herself through the bodies that danced all around them until she was in the clear. Then she was avoiding Harry as she walked past him, not so sure his gaze was still set on her. Maybe she’d gone too far. She didn’t often just kiss people for no good reason and that’s exactly what she’d just done with Adam. She barely even knew him.

She didn’t exactly need the bathroom, just an open, empty and quiet place. And so, she fell back against a wall in the foyer and ran a hand through her hair.

“That was quite the show.”

She startled at the sound of his familiar voice and looked up just as he stopped a few feet away from her. “What are you talking about?”

He lifted a brow. “You expect me to believe that that you, anti everything to do with this holiday and with relationships and romance, are actually dating that guy?”

“Is it that hard to believe?” She crossed her arms, willing to go as far as she needed to before she let Harry see the truth. That she was that pathetic. 

“Yes.” He didn’t even hesitate to respond and she flinched.

“Well, I’m sorry that you have a hard time believing that someone may actually like me.” She had no reason to nearly be shouting at him and no reason to be saying what she was because Adam didn’t like her.

“That’s not what I said. It’s hard for me to believe you just dropped all your ideas about relationships for some guy with obnoxious blue eyes.”

“I didn’t.”

“So then what is this?”

Y/N hesitated. Hating that the truth was about to boil over out of her mouth for him to see all the embarrassing bits of it, but she had no other way of convincing him. And it didn’t really help that Adam was so far out of her league that it wasn’t even convincing to begin with. Nor did she want to convince Harry of anything either. It was clear now that he hadn’t been jealous, he was just trying to figure out when she stopped hating relationships so much.

And the truth of that was she never really hated them. It was just easier telling herself she didn’t want it than admitting no one ever actually wanted her.

She trembled, not even sure why, but he was making her incredibly nervous, so much that she wished she could rewind and stay squished next to him in the back of the car forever. Being that close to him... his stupid fingers on her thigh, whispering things in her ear that made her head spin. She’d much prefer that than standing in front of him now, seeing every ounce of judgment he was about to throw her way.

“What do you want me to say, Harry?” She shrugged and dropped her eyes to the white marble floors between them, focusing on calming her anxiety while she was no longer looking at him. “He needed a date and I felt bad for him.”

“What does that mean?”

Letting her head fall back against the wall, she stared up at the ceiling this time as her eyes burned with embarrassment. “He paid me to be his date so his ex-girlfriend didn’t find out he wasn’t actually seeing anyone. That’s what it means.”

Harry didn’t say anything.

“So, yeah.” She folded her arms, looking down at the floor again, still unable to meet Harry’s eyes and see the look that would be on his face. A smirk of amusement at her expense. Even probably his dimples, taunting her and turning her into the joke she already was. “You were right. I can’t find anyone to tolerate me, which is why I’m on this stupid date that isn’t even real.”

“Him kissing you seemed quite real to me.”

There was more exasperation than humor to her laugh. “It wasn’t.”

Harry seemed to finally understand. “He’s trying to make Laura jealous.”

Y/N just nodded. “I promise I didn’t know you were going to be there, that he was trying to get her back from you.”

“You still kissed him though.”

She couldn’t argue that, nor could she tell him the real reason she’d agreed to the kiss. That it wasn’t exactly Laura she was trying to make jealous. She’d never live that one down, if she ever managed to live any other aspect of this night down.

When she didn’t say anything, he stepped closer. “Why did you kiss him?”

“I’m sorry, Harry I just... I don’t know.”

He shook his head and took another step, making her eyes widen when he was close enough that she had to crane her head back to meet his gaze. “Seemed like you were trying to make me jealous.”

She swallowed, not exactly in the position to laugh it off and argue with him when he was this close and all she could feel were the traces of his fingertips on her thigh. Her voice was quiet when it finally came out. “Making you jealous would mean I assumed you liked me in the first place... which I’m definitely not stupid enough to assume.”

A crease formed between his brow and his stupidly perfect jaw hardened as if he was biting his tongue from saying something. And fuck him for choosing then to finally stop opening his mouth.

Just then, a pair of drunk guys, one on the other’s back, came racing through the foyer, screaming at the top of their lungs while a few others followed quickly after them. It was enough to force Harry away from Y/N again, enough for the both of them to step out of the little bubble they’d been in together the past ten minutes.

Once they were alone again, their eyes gravitated toward each other and just when she thought Harry might say something after all, he flipped around on his heel and left. And she watched as he turned the corner and mixed back into the party.

After a few moments to gather herself, she followed him, not exactly sure what she was going to do now that Harry wouldn’t talk to her and it felt weird being with Adam while Harry knew everything. But, whatever plans to keep herself occupied no longer matted when she spotted Laura.

Making out with Adam in the middle of the room. 

Without even thinking, she turned to locate Harry and he might as well have been a source of gravity because her eyes fell right to him within a second. And he was watching them too. He knew. 

He met Y/N’s eyes and she wasn’t quite sure if he was upset or not. She couldn’t really read anything on his face, and stopped attempting to when he moved towards her and she had other things on her mind, like where he was going and if he was going to bother taking her with him.

Shortly after he stormed past Y/N she made sure he wasn’t going to leave her behind and chased after him. She didn’t know Adam very well and definitely not Laura to want to stay with them. And everyone else in the room were complete strangers to her. Adam had promised he’d take her home, but he probably hadn’t expected to be making out with his ex by the end of the night, either.

Harry didn’t say anything, not even when they’d reached the foyer and Y/N asked where he was going. He just located his jacket and slipped it on before making his way out the front door.

And right when she thought he really was going to leave her behind, since she was the reason he’d just lost Laura to her ex, he held the door open and glanced over his shoulder at her while she still stood on the other side of the threshold.

“Are you staying?”

Without a word, she sprung into motion and trailed right behind him into the hallway like a lost puppy, letting the door shut behind her that cut them off from the music as it faded into the background behind them.

It was a silent trip down the elevator, mostly because she had no idea what to say that would sound sincere and he didn’t say anything at all. At least not until she followed him through the lobby until he stopped on the curb just outside the main doors.

She took up the spot next to him, eyes glued to the side of his face as he took in a deep breath of fresh air, or at least as fresh as traffic allowed it to be.

Then he spoke, and it seemed like the first time she’d heard his voice all night. “I’m the one who gave you the chocolates and the frog.”

She narrowed her eyes, both not exactly sure why he’d just said that or if he was even being serious. “What?”

He looked down at her. “It wasn’t Andrew, it was me.”

“Why?” She breathed and while she was positive she’d be freezing cold soon, the fresh air after being surrounded by so many people felt good. It felt freeing and she wondered if he felt that way too.

His eyes scanned hers before he looked away. “Well partly to apologize for what I said.”

“What’s the other part?”

Sighing, he turned his entire body to face her now. “Something else entirely…” He trailed off, only confusing her more as he stuffed his hands into his pockets and stared at his feet. “I didn’t tell you because I know you don’t like all this stuff, but seeing you with him tonight... I wish I had.” 

“It’s not that big of a deal. It’s just a frog.”

He shook his head, grinning. “It’s not just a frog, Y/N... because the thing is,” he paused to catch his breath, “I’ve been in love with you for... a really long time… since last spring. But with you being the way that you are, I never thought you’d feel the same way.”

She opened her mouth and then closed it.

“And then you come in with that guy and...” He pulled his fingers through his hair. “I don’t think I’ve ever been more jealous in my life... because all this time I thought you weren’t interested in relationships, but you just weren’t interested in me.”

Inhaling, she summoned every ounce of courage she could fathom. “You were right about why I kissed Adam.” He lifted a brow, waiting for her elaboration which never came. “You were right about other things, too. I wish I had someone to come home to almost every single night I got to bed alone. No one—“ She cut herself off, trembling again as tears stung her eyes. “I pretend not to be interested so I can ignore the fact that no one’s ever wanted me.”

“That’s not true.” He had that same look on his face as before, when she’d told him she wasn’t stupid enough to think he liked her.

She just nodded. “And I’m sorry but... why would you want me when you could have someone like Laura?”

“Y/N...” He huffed and stepped closer to her, the heat from his body making her shiver. “This is not the first time I started seeing someone to get over you... in fact, all my relationships since I met you have been shit.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Well you’re very anti-relationships so I think I was justified in wanting to avoid you rejecting me… especially since we work together and it would have been really awkward.”

“I don’t, uh... I...” She stammered, not really sure what to say to him even though her heart was screaming at her in full volume. 

He held his breath and then, in almost a whisper, “Is this the inevitable rejection?”

“No.” She didn’t even hesitate that time and at this point, her mind no longer controlled the words coming out of her mouth as she let another organ finally speak for itself. “No, I liked you the second I saw you, Harry... and at no point tonight was I ever trying to make Laura jealous.”

The corners of his mouth began to curl into a smile. “That was very cruel of you to do to me.”

“I didn’t think you liked me at all twenty minutes ago, Harry.”

“Twenty minutes ago,” he fully invaded all of her space now, leaving the smallest gap between their bodies as he could get away with, lifting his hand to her jaw and rubbing his thumb over her cheek. “I was still on this date with the wrong person.” 

“I think the date is over now.”

“No,” his eyes fell to her lips just like they had before. “It’s not.” 

“You’re looking at me like that again.” She mumbled, out of breath.

He lifted a brow and didn’t once remove his eyes from her lips. “Like what?”

“Like…” she trailed off, not having the courage to say it in case she wasn’t right. 

“Like I’ve wanted to kiss you for a very long time and I’m tired of pretending?” 

“Something like that, yeah.”

He grinned, both of his dimples making an appearance just before he leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. And once her brain realized what was happening, she sunk right into him, letting his arm wrap around her waist as his other hand tangled its way into her hair to bring her closer. She threw her arms over his shoulders and he hunched lower to meet her. She staggered back a step when he did, nearly losing her balance but he caught her instantly and then drew his lips back as he laughed.

“This is not how I expected tonight to end.” She couldn’t help but think the way he struggled to catch his breath was possibly the hottest he’d ever been. Not to mention the tiny bit of her lipstick smeared on his face. She could look at him just the way he was right there and then for days and be perfectly satisfied.

“It doesn’t have to end yet.” She fully blamed her sudden burst of confidence on the cold, but refreshing February night. And maybe she also just wanted to get out of it before it caught up to her and she would, yet again, regret not having a jacket.

“Oh?” She wanted to smack the mischievous smirk off his face and leave him there on the curb. “And here I thought you were a prude.”

“You thought a lot of things about me that weren’t true, Harry.”

He thought about that for a moment and after realizing she was right, he then wondered just how wrong he was when he’d called her celibate. “I suppose… I’d quite like to find out just how wrong I was.” He slipped a loose strand of her hair back behind her ear, which is where his lips ended up as he whispered softly, “And I’d also quite like to show you just how wrong you were about me not liking you.”

They stumbled into her bedroom in the dark, Pretzel racing out between their twisted feet in a hurry, screeching at them in the process. Harry giggled against her lips, “Your cat sounds friendly.” 

“Well, since I was supposed to be spending tonight with her, and chocolate, and anti-romantic movies…” She pulled away from him, watching as his smile spread further. Maybe she could actually believe he’d been in love all this time. 

“Right… I’d be upset too.” 

She shook her head and kissed him again, then pulled back a second later. “You know that’s not actually what I do on Valentine’s Day.”

He lifted a brow and waited for her to explain but she didn’t.

“And what is it that you do, then?” He finally asked, curiosity getting the best of him, although he had some inkling as to what she was talking about.

Her smile was devoid of innocence as her hands fell to his belt. Harry’s shirt had already been lost to the kitchen floor. Her dress hardly covering what it was supposed to once Harry had gotten his hands on it. 

“Maybe you’ll get to find out.” 

When she brought her lips back to his, after undoing the buckle just under his navel, he spun them around and led her backwards to the bed. He wasn’t sure how far it was, but hoped he was headed in the right direction. And because of that, when her knees did finally bend over the mattress, he practically came flying down on top of her. 

She squirmed out from under him, crawling back towards the pillows as she watched him at the end of the bed while he stood and removed his belt completely, trying not to drool at the sight of him. At the sight of Harry, her fucking annoying ass, perfect, beautiful, coworker standing shirtless at the end of her bed where he was also about to be…

He pushed his trousers down off his hips and they fell to the floor with ease, almost with the same amount of ease that her eyes fell to the tight boxer-briefs he wore underneath. She swallowed as he adjusted the waistband back into place, quite certain that, even in the low light, her eyes were not deceiving her.

The bed shifted at her feet as he joined her, and then it took all her willpower to not fling herself at him as he crawled up the length of her. As he settled himself between her thighs and she felt every last, very hard, inch of him pressed against her. She couldn’t be blamed for the whining moan that she let out in his ear as his lips became familiar with the shape and taste of her neck. She also couldn’t be blamed when her hips instinctively collided with his.

He just giggled again and shook his head, the loose strands of his curls tickling her forehead. “Easy now.” He warned in a hushed mumble, his lips vibrating right against the vein in her neck that pulsed so much faster the more his free hand began to wander up underneath her dress.

He left her speechless for multiple reasons, but the main one was when she felt his fingers tracing down her thigh and then, moments later, after he shifted his weight and used his knees to keep her legs open, she sucked in a breath of air as she felt him pressed against her clit, forcing her nails to dig into his back but he didn’t seem to mind.

Coming back down to kiss her, he began moving his hand in expert little circles, grinning against her mouth every time her body begged him for more. It wasn’t long that he complied, either, when he sat back on his knees between her legs and tugged her underwear off for good, throwing it to the depths of her bedroom floor. He wouldn’t have known where they landed even if he tried because his gaze belong to her only as he lowered himself to his elbows before her, kissing his way up her thighs until he reached her center.

When she squirmed away from him, he wrapped his arms around her thighs and pressed his hands into her hips after gently moving her dress out of the way. 

“You know when we used to stay late at the office working?” He asked suddenly and the heat of his voice against her made her squirm again, but he held on tight. “And you would get sick of sitting in an office chair and made me promise not to tell Jim when you sat on his desk instead?” She had no clue where he was going with it, but still, she nodded. “Every single time I turned to look at you, I thought about doing this.” Before she could get words out or even a coherent thought, she felt his tongue on her. And this time when she jerked against him, she nearly slipped out of his hold until he grabbed her again and pulled her back down, digging himself further into her as she struggled to breathe properly.

She dug her fingers into his hair when he brought her close to the edge and showed no mercy. And somehow, she’d managed to get the sole of her foot up onto his shoulder in order to kick him away, but it didn’t matter much because he never budged. Not that she wanted him to, but he just felt so good… 

“Harry!” She shouted, pulling at his hair and making matters worse for herself when he moaned against her sensitive bundle of nerves. He let her come, never once lifting his mouth from her even as her hips jerked off the mattress and she very nearly pulled his hair out. When she stopped screaming, her voice caught in her throat because she was lost to her own orgasm, is when he lifted his mouth, replaced it with his fingers and watched her as she came down. As her eyes fluttered shut and her chest heaved, her lungs struggling to get oxygen back into her system. Her hold on him loosened as she came undone around him, melting into his hands it seemed like.

And when he began rubbing his index and middle finger into her, once she was far and beyond overstimulated, and he knew that, she reached down with a whine and grabbed his wrist with what little strength she had in her and pulled him away. His hand fell to the other side of her hip, which he used to his advantage to pull himself up over her again, his other hand taking her dress with it until he was able to tug it over her head and toss it. Then he came back down to kiss her, letting her taste herself on her lips. He rubbed his thumb across her cheek and when he pulled away, found her looking at him finally. Although it was with heavy lids as she still struggled to regain her bearings.

Before they could get much further, a loud crashing sound from the other room made both of them nearly jump out of their skin. She shot up instantly, grabbing hold of Harry’s bicep before moving him out of the way and sliding off the edge of the bed. 

“It’s just the cat.” Harry would have probably said the same thing even if it was not just the cat, he’d say anything just to get her to stay with him.

“I know but it sounded like…” her voice trailed off as her feet hit the floor and the moment she went to stand on her own two legs, her knees buckled. He reached to grab her waist but she righted herself before he could. She didn’t see the way he hid his cheeky smirk at the fact that he’d been so good, she was still dizzy.

“You good?” He asked as she stumbled her way into a shirt. With only a groan in response, and what he was sure was her middle finger, she left him alone in her bed to investigate the noise. Sighing, he laid on his back and got comfortable amongst her pillows. And after about three minutes, decided to locate the remote to her TV to entertain himself. 

He flipped onto his side and felt around her bedside table, but his fingers never landed on anything remote-like. So, frustrated, he reached up and switched the lamp on. Again, he found nothing. Looking further, he realized the table had a drawer and so he pulled it open in hopes of finding the damned remote before she got back. 

But what he found instead was so much better than turning on late night news.

“Fucking cat knocked over my vase.” Y/N was back within ten minutes. Harry had left the light on, but made sure it wasn’t obvious he’d gone snooping into her drawer, at least not yet anyway. She crawled back into bed beside him and it was then he noticed the bandage on her thumb.

“Are you alright?” He forgot all about what he planned to tease her with when he gently grabbed her hand to inspect the damage.

“Yeah. I was in a bit of hurry trying to clean up the glass…” 

Harry rolled his eyes and dropped her hand. “I would have come help you.”

She just smiled up at him as he fit his arm around her shoulders, his bicep under her neck. “That’s alright.”

He shrugged. “It was for the best anyways that I didn’t.” When he smirked, she narrowed her eyes suspiciously at him.

“And why’s that?”

She followed his other hand as he reached for something and then, moments later, it reappeared with a very familiar pink object clutched in his grasp. “Because then I wouldn’t have found this.”

Her first reaction was to pry it from his snooping fingers, but when she reached across him to grab it, he way too easily held her back and, at the same time, held it far out of her reach. 

“So this is what you do on Valentine’s Day, then?” He flicked his wrist back and forth, waving her vibrator in the air as he taunted her.

“If you don’t give that back to me,” she reached for it again to no prevail, “you won’t be doing anything, least of all, me.”

He clicked his tongue. “Why would I give it back when I plan on using it?”

She froze and he chuckled at her reaction.

“Would be rude of me to break your traditions, wouldn’t it?” 

She swallowed, her eyes slowly meeting his again. The appearance of his right dimple told her he wasn’t playing any games. She had no idea how many times he planned to make her come tonight or whether or not she’d even be able to walk tomorrow at work. But, given the stupid look on his face, she almost began making plans to call out sick instead.

“Do you actually know how to use that thing?” She finally asked, glancing at the wand still held very firmly in his hand.

He looked at her like she was crazy moments before he pivoted and pinned her onto her back, settling himself into the position they’d been in before the interruption of the cat. 

Just, this time… he was clicking on her vibrator and watching her face as she began to regret her words. 

“‘Course I know how to use it. The real question is,” he brought his lips to her ear, the soft vibrations and the sound of his voice mixing together like sin itself. Even more so when he nipped at her earlobe. “Do you know how to handle it?”