#having a normal day with normal thoughts hehe
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𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ p. childhood boyfriend!sim jaeyun ⤫ 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳﹒wc: 9.2к﹒g. romantic drama, emotional romance, angst, slowburn, light fluff﹒cw. emotional distress, ghosting and abandonment, suidical thoughts, mental health struggles, manipulation, past trauma, reconciliation and healing, triggers of emotional abuse, toxicity, high levels of angst and emotional intensity, mild references to past toxic relationships. @wheretheheckis-ssaki
𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖ synopsis ﹒During middle school, you and a boy in your friend’s class—named Sim Jaeyun—were inseparable, you both had your own friendg roup, he was a popular guy on the soccer team while you were a normal girl, yet would talk to each other on the phone everyday the second the bell rang. You both eventually fell for each other but had to keep your relationship private due to drama with girls. A year later—after everyone found out about you guys, he unexpectedly distanced—then disappeared. 10 years later, when you move to France for a few weeks due to a project in uni, you and Jake cross paths once again. (NOT PROOFREAD)
Sim Jaeyun, he was the best boyfriend I could ever think of having, he was my first love, definitely. It started in the seventh grade, when he was in class 7G—the same class as my friends. I remember when my bestfriend first told me about how he’d catch people playing Roblox in class and signal it to the entire class—that’s when I started teasing him—he was my best friends locker buddy, so I’d see him everyday.
Everytime id see him—when he would be arguing about something stupid with his classmates, I’ll snarl at him, “shut up Jake! Go play your Roblox!”. For some odd reason, he was REALLY talkative, but the second I’d say that, he’d just shut up. He’d smile at me and continue packing his things to get to the bus, forgetting about the entire conversation he had with the people next to him.
Until one day, another normal day of me telling him the same line, he actually responded this time. ‘How about you go play Roblox, huh?’ He said. ‘Okay, I will then, make sure you join me in jayjay simulator!!!’ I replied—I don’t know why I said “jayjay”, it just came out—soon enough, that would be the name all the girls would start calling him—because of me. As I walked away with my bestfriend—heading to the bus, I whispered to her, “hey, you know, Jake is kinda cute.”
— rest below cut ! —
Later that day, I decided to add him on my phone, message him—tease him a little bit more, he was funny—his reactions. He wasn’t like other boys, when you’d argue with him, he’d do it in a goofy way, he wouldn’t say actual harmful stuff—not to me Atleast.
- Jake: who is this?
- You: You didn’t join me in jayjay simulator. :(
- Jake: Hehe, yes I did!!!
He was so cute, even his messages were adorable. Whenever I’d playfully roleplay and fake random situations, people would call me childish, but with him, he’d play along, fully convincing eachother that everything we said was real.
I was determined to talk to this guy everyday, I’d find a random topic that has been spreading around our grade so that everyday, after school, I’d message him, using it as an excuse to talk to him. And it worked! I noticed that he’d even find some stuff too, so that he could message me. Once, he asked me for anime recommendations even though everyone knows him and his friendgroup hated anime, they made fun of it—except for blue lock of course—since it’s football related.
During my pe class, his friends that were in my class were destroying me in badminton—they weren’t that good…..but I just sucked at the sport! He peeked in, hoping to waste time from his class, and I screamed “Jake!!! Help me, your friends are bullying me…”
he was such a nice person to me, I’d tease him and say that he was rude in order to keep talking to him—in my mind, if I was accusing him of something, it’d be another reason for him to keep responding to me— and of course, it worked, I’m just a genius.
We were genuinely so funny, we both wanted to talk to eachother whenever we had the chance, but didn’t know how. Our biggest highlight was when we’d send random emojis to eachother for 4 hours straight just because we had no conversation anymore.
On February 14th, at the valentines dance, we were pressured to hug by the crowd. At this point, I had the biggest crush on him but nobody knew. Since he was popular and quiet talk compared to the other boys(puberty hit him the earliest), most of my friends fancied him. I was stuck, how could I tell my friends that I liked him first, when I never told them? Anyway, we didn’t hug, we’re both so awkward and to be honest, I’m glad we didn’t, it’s too cringe hugging like that!
When we got home, he messaged me, telling me he’s sorry he didn’t hug me because….. his teacher was watching and didn’t want him to tell his parents??? What a stupid excuse… That’s not the point, Y/n get back into the topic! I don’t remember how we got to the conversation but we were talking about crushes, who we liked. I kid you not, it took us 3 hours to confess, and it was so obvious we were saying we liked each other! We kept asking each other for hints, obvious ones. But eventually, we both said each others name at the same time. I remember so vividly that I was playing cards with my brother, unable to focus because of the joy I was feeling after reading my name pop up.
Now that I look back at it, I realize how mature we were for our age, even though we confessed, we didn’t do anything about it, we didn’t start dating or anything—just got really awkward, stopped talking in real life after that…
Fast forward the summer of 7th grade, when we got together July 2nd at 2am. To be honest, it wasn’t the way I expected it to be.
A girl from my grade messaged me:
- g/n: Hey! You’re close to Jake, right?
- You: Hi g/n! And yeah, I am, why?
- g/n: well… me and him have been messaging for 2 weeks now and I kinda like him. I was hoping you’d help me?
I beg your pardon? Me? Help you? I don’t even know this girl, all I knew was that she was some popular girl in a big friendgroup. That friendgroup was always around jake’s, they craved their attention so much—it disgusted me. But, it’s not like he’s my boyfriend, who am I to say no, maybe he likes her.
I helped her that entire night—telling her to text him certain things that only I knew he’d enjoy. They started doing the same thing me and him did on Valentine’s Day, guessing each other’s crushes, it took me aback, I self sabotaged myself—for no reason at all. During all of it, he was messaging me at the same time, acting a sweet to me. For no reason at all, he sent me this out of context message, “Y/n, I enjoy messaging you a lot.” Seconds later,
- g/n: He was taking too long to tell me his crush so I just told him I like him and asked if he wants to get together!
What? Did I just read that right… I acted as if I didn’t see her message and went to respond to jake’s instead. “Oh really?” I questioned him, my heart was beating so fast at this point, I didn’t know what was going to happen, it has been months and we’re still in a talking stage, surely he wouldn’t get with a girl he started talking to just 2 weeks ago, right? That’s what I thought until another message popped up.
- g/n: GIRL OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU HE JUST SAID YES OMGOMG.
the second she said that, he responded to me, “yeah, I really do, you’re my favourite person to talk to.” Oh heck no. I’m hysterically sobbing—what the hell?
Okay I can’t do this deep detail stuff, fast forward again—he told me and the girl goodnight—well actually, he only told the girl goodnight, I’m the one who told him goodnight before he could say anything else because I was so close to blocking him. But, I couldn’t hold it in, I had to confront him.
- You: Jake, I know you’re not asleep, respond
- Jake: What’s up?
- You: Tell me now, who’s your crush?
- Jake: you already know who
- You: no I don’t, who is it
- Jake: you
- You: then why did you just ask out g/n?
- Jake: who told you
- You: it doesn’t matter who told me, answer me.
- Jake: I promise you I’ll tell you when you tell me who told you
I tried so hard to keep my composure, but I told him everything. Then, I asked him politely, “who do you want? Me or g/n?” no intention in making him choose between us, I genuinely wanted to know because I didn’t want to be lead on if he liked g/n—and I didn’t want g/n to be lead on in this relationship if he liked me. I never made him choose between us, I simply asked him who he liked because he just agreed to dating a girl 2 hours ago and is now telling me he likes me, anyone in my situation would’ve done that, right?
- Jake: you I pick you
- Jake: I want you
- Jake: I’m so sorry I was just desperate for someone and I thought you liked one of my friends at this point, I was so desperate I just agreed to her.
We got together right after he broke up with her the following morning—maybe it was kind of stupid of us to do it so soon, but we were both waiting in eachother since the day we confessed all those months ago, it was summer, everything felt right, we had a huge conversation that night and talked about eachother and all our hidden secrets til 4am. In that conversation, we also made it clear that we would keep our relationship private because he had friends who liked me and I also had multiple who liked him.
Riingg ! — back into reality.
8:00am, you get up, brush your teeth, and your hair, wear a basic outfit you barely looked at before picking, and walk to the train station—waiting a few minutes for it to arrive.
There goes your alarm, woah, you just experienced your entire love story with Jake again, in a dream—you almost thought it was real. You're now 22, can’t believe that all happend 10 years ago. It feels as if it happend yesterday. Although, a lot has changed since then, You're not the same as before, you arent in middle school, or high school at all—but rather studying medicine in one of your dream universities. Your personality has changed a lot, the way you act has matured a lot aswell—you now know that you don’t need to be a brat in order to get people’s attention, hah…
Although your life has changed, the place to where your mind wanders hasn’t. You still remember the time you and Jake risked a day to go on a field trip downtown to a haunted house in the 8th grade—right after summer. You remember all the stares you got as you walked together—not even holding hands or anything, just simply walking. Everyone would ship you guys together—yet got so mad when they suspected that you two were dating.
A few days—not even—a few hours after the field trip, pictures of me and him were spreader everywhere. I was officially done for. My friends had left me a little before it all, I was already dealing with that loss—and now, I had to deal with the entire population of girls in my grade hating on me—simply for hanging out with a friend everyone knew I was close to.
I just didn’t get it. Everyone would ship us, everyone knew we were close, we didn’t even kiss—or hold hands—or hug—or anything! Why did everyone get so mad? They didn’t know or get the confirmation that we were dating—so why did I get ignored by everyone so secretively? Nobody talked to me about it, rumours spread about me and only me—about Jake—just me. The worse thing was, I didn’t have a say in anything. Nobody could say anything to my face, it was all behind my back, nobody dared to say anything while I was around, I never found out what they said—only small details of my last remaining friends that would overhear small stuff from crowds.
That’s basically how my entire 8th grade was like. I know some people would see it as a compliment that nobody could say anything to my friend—not even humiliate or bully me for it, but I felt as if it was the biggest curse ever. I never had a chance to speak about it, talk my feelings.
The worse part is—Jake said it was going to be okay, he didn’t care about what people thought about us. But just a month after the entire incident—he ghosted me for two weeks, came back to say sorry then did it again for two weeks. Then, it became a month and came back later to talk about how he was moving to France at the end of the year. I knew about it already, I was the only person he told, but it felt so much wise because he was talking about it during a period where he was just constantly ghosting me.
It was soon going to be his birthday so I decided to send him a huge paragraph:
I’ve deleted every single person off my Snapchat to make sure we keep that “you and Jake have been each other's number one best friend for 2 months!” Even though it’s been almost a year since we had it, you know it only changes from 2 weeks, 2 months and two years. Yet still, you lost it. So so busy of you to lose that feature, texting someone else. I saw you online for a good 3 hours. How are you busy?
I said I don’t mind if you’re busy because we each have our own lives, but you’re completely ghosting me.
I can’t take a single apology from you anymore it makes me even more angry and frustrated I hate how much you take advantage of me because you know I’ll be the first to say “it’s alright” or “don’t think about it too much, I forgive you” and completely forget about every single breakdown I’ve had because of you.
I hate all of your sorry messages I hate the way I felt so happy each time you apologize even though you never changed, I hate when I begged you to stop calling you a bad boyfriend even though you are not only a bad boyfriend but the worst newest person that entered my life, I hate how much I can’t stop loving you despite all of the pain and hatred I’m getting from you, I hate how much I miss the times you were actually excited to text me, I hate it when I actually believed that you’d love me forever, I hate it when we talked about our future together and how we both prayed to be soulmates, I hate how you’re always the first thing that comes to mind when I wake up, do something, cry, laugh, lay down, work, and every single other thing I do in my life. I hate how much I love you more than you love me and I hate even more how much I’m aware of it. I hate the night you killed me inside and still found a way to make me happy in the end with your tricks. I hate how happy you look in real life when I see you with your friends knowing I have one friend and always have to plan ahead if she’s not here, how I have problems with everyone and even that current friend I’m not happy around, compared to you and your amazing friend group where everyone loves you and you love them.
I hate how you still manage to have a smile on your face even when we’re not texting. I don’t understand how much I hate you right now but it’s not hate as in how much I hate my old friends, it’s a hate of sadness and of “how could you do this to me” hate. I hate you so much I can’t get rid of you. I love you too much and that’s why I hate you. I hope to one day look back at my 8th grade and hopefully say that all this pain was all worth it in the end because I’ve ruined my childhood so much 7-8th grade because of you.
Tomorrow January 12 2024 will be the day me and you met last year. We’ve known each other for a year. Why does it feel like I’ve known you my whole life and I’ve felt miserable since birth? I can't do this anymore.
I wish I could be as happy as you when you’re with your friends, I wish I could be as careless as you, I wish I could go months without texting their partner just like you, I wish I didn’t need to worry if someone’s going to leave me or not, I wish I could have peace and calmness in my life, I wish I had friends I actually enjoyed, I wish I didn’t need to feel so lonely all the time, I wish I didn’t have to look down whenever I see you in the hallways so that I don’t embarrass myself, I wish I wasn’t always so angry, I wish I didn’t care so much about everything, I wish I wasn’t sensitive, I wish I was crying right now, I wish I could leave and forget everyone I met last and this year including you, I wish I didn’t start talking to you, I wish I was your first and only option, I wish I didn’t think of you everytime a song came up, I wish I didn’t think of you when I see something that I know you like, I wish I could find an end to all the things that come up to mind that don’t stop flowing when I’m writting these, I wish I didn’t waste all that money on you, I wish that Snapstreak I paid back for because you lost it, wasn’t lost again because you just didn’t feel like doing it anymore, I wish I didn’t cry to sad songs because they remind me of you, I wish I didn’t see myself in every mentally unstable situation, I wish I could go to sleep peacefully, I wish you were there when I needed you most, I wish you felt the way I felt, I wish you experienced the stuff I went through, I wish you could understand how I feel, I wish you would listen to me for once, I wish you’d understand the things I feel, I wish you knew how much I’m hurting, I wish I could tell someone about all my problems without feeling guilty afterwards, I wish I could shut my mouth up and stop talking so much especially when nobody enjoys it, I wish you’d snap-text me the way we used to, I wish you’d randomly tell me how much you love me like before, i wish you would beg me for forgiveness when you’d forget to reply for like 5 mins unlike how you leave me on delivered on purpose for 2 days now, I wish you felt grateful for me still being here, I wish I could move places and forget everything, I wish my sins weren’t all on my back even though I’m trying to move on, i wish I could move on from you, I wish I could forget about you the way you so easily forgot about me, I wish I could go to sleep without crying, I wish I could stop listening to my thoughts, I wish everyone would like me like you, I wish you’d understand everything and everyone I lost because I was with you, I wish you’d see how much people hate me because I’m with you and they were jealous, I wish you realize that i didn't care about how I have no friends because I knew I’d be able to talk to u when I get back home, that’s why I’m hurting so much now.
I wish you could ignore the girls that try to hit you up, just like how I do with the boys that simply want to be my friend, I wish you understood how stupidly I miss you, I wish you could treat me how I wish a man could treat me, I wish you’d never leave to France, I wish you never find a new person in France, I wish you’d understand how I can’t live without you anymore and it’s all your fault, I wish you’d see and understand that I feel so worried because I don’t want to lose you, I wish you’d comprehend that I wouldn’t get jealous for no reason and that I was overprotective but rather that you’re my first love and I’m scared of losing you, I wish you’d understand how much I try to talk to you and be around you, I wish you know and see how I finish all my work early or do it later just to try and be able to talk to you as much as I can, I wish you’d know how I’m writing all of this right now instead of revising for my test tomorrow. I wish I wouldn’t feel so tired after crying about you for just a few minutes, I wish my eyes weren’t always heavy because of you and crying because of you, I wish I could stop loving you forever.
Happy birthday Jake! Whenever I write ur name it always pops up as “JAKEEE” and it might sound stupid but I smile everytime I see it. I’m writing this at 11:19pm, on a day where you’re ghosting me, again for the second time. I don’t know what’s the reason this time, knowing you couldn’t keep your promise of not doing it again that you said not even a week ago.
I hope you’re aware I’m not stupid, I see when you’re online, I know you’ve left me on delivery for two days on purpose. When I said I don’t know about your reason “this time”, I in fact don’t know a lot of things that you do. When you’re in trouble I know you go on your phone for a couple minutes, you just decide to not even check up on me with that time. It sounds pathetic and unimportant but in my point of view it’s the most gut wrenching thing to know because I would, without a doubt, pick you out of everyone to talk to if I was going to die and had one last chance to talk to someone.
I’m typing all of this and I’m not even sure if we’ll make it till your birthday but, I’ve decided to completely forget about you when it hits 2024 if you still kept ghosting me because I wanna turn into a new person and throw away my past and all my old mistakes behind me that have been affecting my present. I try so hard to give myself excuses about you not texting, maybe you’re doing something with your parents like you said you were doing, maybe it was a surprise trip! But then I think more and realize that if you wanted to text me and say why you couldn’t text, you would’ve and if you couldn’t, you would’ve tried.
I hate how much I love you and I hate how much I’m aware that you don’t love me the same amount. My December is the absolute definition of “Hell”. I decided to wait for winter break to talk to you all about it and make myself better. What a fool I was for waiting and thinking you’d still text me the same. I hate how we text now, I don’t care about anything I just wanna feel special texting you the way we used to.
When I used to always tell you how tired I am based on how tired you are(like when you weren't tired and I was, I’d lie and say I wasn’t either, don’t know if you know what I’m talking about) I’d say it because I know myself, I know how if you were sad I’d be sad, if you’re happy I’m happy, when you’re not around I’m sad and when you’re around I’m happy.
You don’t understand the times I Thanked god each time you texted me back, even when it turned into an argument. I rather argue with you instead of no contact. That's how much I enjoy texting you. No matter how much I’ve cried and felt miserable being with you at times, I can’t seem to let you go. No matter how many boys that have liked me and I’ve never told you about, I decided to ignore and move on with my life. No matter how handsome they were, I myself don't understand why I see something in you that I don’t see with anyone else. Not being able to let you go is what kills me and I physically cannot live without you.
I can’t live a few hours without you, especially when I don't know the reason why you’re gone. When you told me you leave the people you don’t like texting on delivery, you told me that February 2023, a few days before the Valentine’s dance. If I told my February 2023 self that I’d be one of those people you keep on delivering, I’d laugh and start talking about how you’re such an amazing person.
And what’s worse is, I still laugh at myself and talk the best about you, even when I know deep down all the things I would rather swallow glass than go through again when I was with you.
I remember all our memories like it was yesterday, Jan 12, the first conversation when I added you on discord and you asked me “who is this” and i replied with “why didn’t you join me in nana simulator”. That day when going in the bus I told ____ “hey that Jake guy is kinda cute” but didn’t think it would get this far.
The time you made that stupid lie about not hugging me because mister ____ was there and u didn’t want ur parents to know.. I knew it was a lie, and I wasn’t upset that you didn’t hug me, I was uncomfortable as well at that moment, I was upset because someone hit me.
The night you got with g/n that was the same night you got with me. Every single conversation we had I remember it, even the stupid moment when you said you only liked g/n 40%. You say a lot of stupid things that turn out funny, that’s why I try to make myself feel better thinking you wouldn’t do anything to hurt me, but I forget that you’re not a child and you know everything you do.
I seriously wish I was lying when I say I never cried this much in my life except when I met you, even now. Right now, you’re even active on Instagram and of course I’m still on delivery. I’ve never felt so pathetic and embarrassed in my life, just looking at that “delivered 2D” thing on ur name. How I watched your name go from “jake” to “Jake❤️” to “jaeyun” to “j” to your original name on snap that you have on default. “⚽️”.
I love you so much that even my mother loves you. Whenever you weren’t texting me (practically the entire December), my mother would ask me about you a lot, I knew she loved you so much and I didn’t want you to have a bad look to my mother so I’d lie to her for you and tell her that you just texted me that you couldn’t text and whenever she’d ask me again, I’d tell her that you were saying the truth and u haven’t went online ever since, even though I knew that you were online half of the time.
I’ve tried seeing you all the time at school just to look at you and act if we are still texting, even if it meant crying a bit in class while thinking about you because I was left without explanation and you always look so happy, despite my absence in your life.
I keep lying to myself and saying that you mean the words you say to me but I know you don’t try to see me in every person you come across the same way I do, you don’t think of me the second you wake up at night the way I do, you would never look for me In a room full of girls.
I wake up from dreams in the middle of the night and even if it was a nightmare my first thought would be you, even if most likely the nightmare would have something to do with you. When my phone is next to me and I wake up, the first thing I do is put my phone down and in my head I say “please say you texted” knowing that each time it’s never you. I go back to sleep and wait for a message knowing I’d never wake up again if it were the case. I say I wish you could communicate more so I could understand how much you love me but, do you not love me as much because you lack communication or do you lack communication because you don’t love me as much.?
I don’t really know how this happy birthday thing turned into a whole story about my love life with you and how miserable I’ve been ever since school started again. It’s 2:01am now and I just can’t seem to fall asleep when you’re on my mind. My head hurts thinking so much about you, my head goes dizzy and my eyes start to pump as if they have their own heartbeat, disgusting..
I love you so much I wish I could forget about you for my own well being.
7 snaps in the morning, none of them are you. So many boys on my phone yet you're still the only one I wish would text me. My head knows ur bad for me but my heart doesn’t wanna leave you, I’m scared of losing every opportunity of being able to be with you, but I guess I’m just wasting that time with my own well being.
3 days doesn't sound like a lot but when you’re always online and ignoring me on purpose, it sure is a long time. I wish I could leave you on delivery for that long. I tried to ignore you a few times but I couldn’t last more than 4 minutes. It hurts how much we are different in this relationship and how much love is we feel is unequal
I tried as much as I could to keep you as my number one best friend on snap. I told my entire best friend list that I couldn’t talk so that nobody would go up, and it still managed to get ruined. Lina spent her days spamming me and making me reply to stories she posts so that she could take the number one best friend list on my list, and it worked. I doubt I was still yours anyway.
I tried as much as I could to keep you as my number one best friend on snap. I told my entire best friend list that I couldn’t talk so that nobody would go up, and it still managed to get ruined. Lina spent her days spamming me and making me reply to stories she posts so that she could take the number one best friend list on my list, and it worked. I doubt I was still yours anyway.
It’s funny because it’s news years and 2 years ago, this was the day i met the online friend who left me.
The one I was attached with for 2 years and ruined my entire mental health throughout 6 and 7th grade. The one that YOU replaced. The one I talked about for hours with you on TikTok, the one I told you I would tell everything and ever since he left, you were the new person I started acting as if it was him.
That guy, that nasty guy I was best friends with, blocked me for fun and ghosted me just to see me suffer without him, and you’re just repeating all of it.
I know you’re never going to message me, yet I realize I keep checking my lock screen every 5 minutes, your Instagram status, your reposts, your snap score, everything. I keep myself on not disturb but keep checking to hope that maybe, just maybe, you would’ve decided to check my messages and reply.
If I knew that night was gonna be the last time we were gonna talk to each other, I would’ve listened to my gut and begged you to stay. I’ve repeated many things, this entire “paragraph”(more like a book lol.) is in scrabbles because I don’t know how to explain myself, I write so much each time and just keep feeling the same, no happiness.
I know I said if you don’t text before it hits 2024, I’d forget you and erase you from my life because I’m trying to change, but the truth is, I’m sure that even if you text me after, I’d reply the second I see your name. Although I might be still a little too confident thinking you’d text at all. I don’t want to leave you, even when I know it’s better for me. I want to text you “I wanna break up” so you could make some sense when you’re half swiping my message and quickly reply, but I’m scared that you wouldn’t question it and instead just say okay and leave for good.
I hate always being the one that gets attached in relationships, especially when the other isn’t.
I hate how when you came back after ghosting me for 2 weeks before ghosting me again this time, you were acting as if you were embarrassed and very guilty about what you did, you made me feel bad for you. While I was the one suffering and crying every chance I got, I was the one comforting you. “You don’t need to say sorry, I knew you wouldn’t do this without a reason, I know you wouldn’t mean it.
Even before you came back and said sorry, I had forgiven you. I just want you to focus on yourself but please, communicate with me next time, I’ll understand you.” Those were the words I told you. Why can’t anyone comfort me the same way I comfort people? Why were those the words I wanted to hear? Why are you, the one who makes me smile and who makes me wanna die as well, why are you the only reason I wanna keep living? Why do I see my life only as Important because I know if I died I wouldn’t be able to text you anymore?
I see you use Snapchat by your snap score going up, gosh it feels so pathetic to know I’m still on delivered. Stop doing this to me please I beg you it hurts too much I can’t handle any of it anymore. My eyes are constantly stinging and it hurts so much, I don’t deserve this, all I ever wanted was for you to be happy, with me, not at the look of me going crazy over you not texting me. I’ve been crying for hours and usually I’d run out of tears to cry, why is it that I keep gaining more this time?
Oh please, come back to me, I bear seeing anyone else with you. Our stupid conversations about getting married and lasting forever with eachother, why have you forgotten all of it?
I would’ve never thought i'd feel this way, i thought I loved my life and the only stress I had was school, why am I on winter break and going absolutely insane in the bathroom and in my room over a person like you.
I would’ve never thought id ever wanna die, why do I feel like it’s my only option to peace right now? Suicidal? No way! But I seriously can’t escape from the thought of you, I need you out of my life, but that would be worse, I just wish I never met you, that’s also a lie. I wish you never changed, I miss the times you would care about how I felt.
This month, December, is my worst year. I needed you most at this time, why did you make it harder for me, purposely? Remember when you got mad at me for playing with ___? Haha I was so sad you were ignoring me again and you admitted you didn’t wanna talk, I loved how overprotective you were acting, but why were you jealous about him when he treats me better than you? Why do I love you more than someone who treats me so much better?.
Wow, when I finished writing that, you checked my message. Dec 31 7:14. Opened. Let me guess, you’re gonna start apologizing “MY BAD MY MAD IM SO SORRY I GOT IN TROUBLE.”
And would you look at that, I wrote in my notes app:
Yup, just as a I thought, Jake: MB MY PARENTS TOOK MY PHONE. I sent this to him, all he had to say was he needed time alone and said “see u” when I said “byeee” what the hell. If I killed myself it wouldn’t be enough for this man..??? He doesn’t text me properly for almost a month and he needs TIME ALONE??? Ugh! Happy new years! I told him happy new years on 12 exactly and all he said was “thanks u to” and I said I was gonna become nicer and he said “cool” so I’m going to be straight up with him and ask if we are breaking up. I don’t wanna wait anymore t’il HE'S READY. All he said was no. Wth — His last words were; I love you so much, I'm sorry, I'll message you when i get the chance.
It’s safe to say, I really was going insane. He never texted me again in 8th grade after that—until, the summer before 9th grade. I remember how he asked if we could talk when I have time, he was in France by now by the way. I told him that I was surprised that I’m hearing him again, and said sure. All he had to say was, “I’m sorry for everything I did, I’m sorry for ghosting you and all, I was really going through it” I beg your pardon?
That’s all he wanted to talk about? Quickly, I respond with:
- you: No, Jake. I want to know what happend , why did you do that?
- Jake: I promise you, It was personal problems y/n
He was so stubborn, I know it wasn’t the reason, we would go through things but we’d go through them together—not the way he did it. But, i always saw the good in him, even in that moment, i wasn’t angry at him. When I was with him, he was amazing—so I always wanted to keep that image of him and not swifch up so quickly just because he ghosted me for practically a year now. But still, i had to do what I had to do so—I asked him the big question:
- You: you know, we never properly broke up, so, what is it? Do u still like me? You haven’t talked to me in forever, you’re supposed to answer this.
- Jake: you first
Not this again.
- you: Jake no. You’re the one who left so you’re the one who answers it.
- Jake: no no just please you first
- You: Jake. What do you want from me? opened.
There he goes again, that was for real the last message. I never heard from him again-
“next stop, _____ university” —
There’s the train—perfect timing.
Today’s a weird day—maybe because it’s snowing, maybe because its the month he first started acting weird. Usually, you think of him before bed, not during the entire morning… You miss him, it’s been a while—You still wonder where he is now.
Sometimes, you wonder if you should drop out of university and become a famous model—maybe then he could recognise you and reach out.
You can barely remember his voice, you lost all my old videos from before you even started texting—those were the times you actually heard him speak, the rest was small talk and then completely no contact. Even when you guys were dating, you never spoke in real life—too scared and nervous.
You're finaly off the train—heading to class now, exams are coming up. You never got to experience it with Jake since he left to go to high-school in France, did I mention that already? You say to yourself. Actually, he had never removed his name from your school so when you had attendance on the first day of nineth grade, he was called in every single one of your classes. What a coincidence, you had never gotten in the same class for two years but then could’ve got all your first semester classes with him if he hadn’t left—what a way to play with your reason to live.
University isn’t like highschool anymore—it’s quieter, people are more focused on themselves than things that people have to say about eachother. You have a small group of friends that you met In highschool, you're glad you're still in touch despite how many years it’s been.
9:09am—huh??? Your class starts in a minute, shoot!
You dont know why you rushed to get to class so quickly… it’s too boring, You're bout to fall asleep. As you were about to lay your head on the desk and doze off—you heard your professor mutter something a little interesting for once.
“Okay students, this doesn’t have to do with our major but the board entered my name to do a small project out of context. Today, and for the following month, there will be 15 people from this class and the class that starts in 2 hours who will travel abroad—more specifically to France-“
That’s all you needed to hear—you didn’t care about the rest, you heard France and knew that you were going to be participating in this activity. It’ll be fun, you say, i'll get to experience how Jake lived in France, you say. You say it all, with no intentions of actually meeting Jake. You just wanted to experience what he experienced, maybe it'd make you feel a little closer to him. Like always, you made everything in your life, about him. It’s like he was famous in your mind.
You needed a break from your current place anyway, everything was all over the place, you felt as if you’ve been living the same days over and over again. Maybe this was an opportunity to change things a bit—get you out of your comfort zone.
You signed up so quickly to the program my teacher talked about a few days ago. You already found a roommate to stay with for the time you'll be staying there.
The guy you arranged to live with was a little bit younger than you, but you didn’t mind—you just needed a place to stay for a bit. You soon learned that he goes to the same university that you’ll be studying in, which is nice—you’ll have someone to help you around everything.
You’re counting the days until you leave—you called with the roommate and found out a few extra things about him. His name was ni-ki, he was also a foreigner except he’s permanently staying there. He’s in the same major as you and as you exchanged schedules, you saw that you guys had 2/4 classes together—that’s nice, already got a buddy to be with for half of your classes!
You're now in France, heading to your apartment—ready to meet Ni-ki. Right before you can manage to knock, he opens the door—as if he was waiting for you by the door. "Hey," he speaks, his voice low and deep. He was tall and slim—it reminded you of Jake. You don't know how he looks like anymore, you haven't in a while. The last time you saw him, he was tall, above all the boys in your grade, you don't know anything about him anymore actually.
Before you could continue being lost in thought, Ni-ki speaks up once again. "How about you go get some rest, you look tired. You can tell me about your trip in the morning. Sounds good?" You nod, you were exhausted, the trip was long and you could barely close your eyes in the plane.
'Oh and, y/n, by the way, i'll invite some friends over for a bit, if that's alright with you?' 'yeah that's fine don't worry, I bet you i'll be so deep in sleep that I wouldn't even wake up if you guys bomb the place.' What a lie. You couldn't fall asleep at all.
right as you thought you were going to fall asleep, you heard the door burst open, the people Ni-ki invited finally arrived. You could hear like—five people? Oh wait—no—a sixth one—who.. Sounded a lot like—Jake.
You couldn't remember his voice but when you heard something like him—you just knew. What a great discovery, even if you were going to finally get some sleep—you definitely aren't now. You sat in the bed you were assigned to sleep in, listening to the boys downstairs chatting—the guy who sounded like Jake wasn't really talkative, maybe its not him—actually, you're sure its not him—you're just eavesdropping so that you could pretending that you're listening to Jake's voice.
In the morning, Ni-ki had to wake you up for your class because you were still used to your old timezone. 'y/n... we have class in like 30 minutes...' 'Five more minutes... Get off of me, let me sleep!' 'I'll rip up all your clothes if you don't get up.' 'What? What! Okay, okay I'm up!'
You both ran to class, your apartment wasn't on campus but it was still close. You were introduced to the first two classes with Ni-ki by your side, you followed him everywhere for those first two periods—but now, you two next are alone—and you have no idea where to go.
Luckily, you spotted one of your teachers from your morning classes, they had to go fill out some papers and correct tests so they couldn't give you a tour of the school—but guided you to Ni-ki's class so that he could be excused out of his class and help you.
You walked into his class behind your teacher, not bothering to look at anyone to try and find him—too scared you'll make awkward eye contact with anyone who isn't him.
"I'm sorry for interrupting your lesson, Chanelle, but could we please steal your student Nishimura Riki for a period? We have a new foreign student who knows him and needs a tour of campus." Your teacher said to the one who was currently teaching Ni-ki's class. "Oh why of course, and don't apologise, i needed this few second break..." She responded. "Nishimura, get down here"
As she called him over, you follower her eyes—trying to spot Ni-ki. Then, you found him, laying back on a chair with his feet on the table, surrounded by 6 boys—probably the ones from yesterday.
'Hey ni-ki, whos that girl next to the teacher? You know her?' The purple haired boy asked. Just as you were going to smile and wave at him, your eyes spotted one of the boys who stood out a bit brighter than the rest—due to his immersive stare at you. Jake. There he was. Yes you haven't seen him in a while, but those eyes never change. it really was him—right infront of you. It was Jake.
You didn't utter a single word—turning quickly and just waiting for ni-ki to get down. You always imagined what you'd do when you saw him again—you just didn't expect it ever to be like this.
In the afternoon, after both you and ni-ki got back to your apartment. You built up the courage to ask him, 'Hey, ni-ki, who were those boys you were with when I came into your class searching for you?' 'Oh them, those are my best friends. Heeseung, the purple haired one you heard, Jay, Sunghoon, Sunoo, Jungwon and Jake. We've been friends ever since i got here, but they've been childhood friends since they were little—except Jake, he came during highschool, but that's still a while ago! Y/n? Are you listening-' 'Yes! Yes! I am indeed!' 'Oh okay, well yeah. Actually, they're coming over again—i'll properly introduce you to them then!'
Excuse you? Coming over? Again? How many times do these boys come over? They just visited yesterday... "Again?" you spoke, voice a little lower than you hoped it'd be. "Yeah, they come over all the time, you'll love them, trust me!" He said, love filled in his eyes as he spoke about his friends—completely unaware of what you were currently thinking.
Minutes passed and suddenly, the doorbell rang. You instinctively froze, Ni-ki jogged to go get the door, leaving you in the living room alone, awkwardly waiting. "Guys, this is the girl from earlier, this is y/n, shes my roommate" One by one, they entered the room, you got up and kindly greeted all five of them—until it was turn for the sixth one who took a little longer to remove his coat after hearing ni-ki's words.
When it was Jake's turn, your heart sank, you looked at him from close up—he was different. His face had matured, his hair had thickened, He body looked a lot fuller and grown up than you last remember. A lot changed—but it was still so easy to tell it was him. Perfect nose, flawless face, the same eyes you fell in love with.
"Y/n?" Jake spoke, in a questioning tone, way lower than how he used to speak. You were surprised that he even said something, if you two were in 8th grade, he wouldn't even be able to look your way, head down as he walks past you to make it seem like he didn't see you—while you would stare at the lockers, the opposite direction of him. "Long time no see" was all you said, though your mind was saying alot more.
"You two know each other?" Jungwon asked as you both nodded. "What a small world!" Sunoo added.
The rest of the night was awkward, both you and Jake sneaking glances of each other, trying to admire everything that changed. We haven't seen each other in 10 years, It's normal. For a split second, you both had eye contact—his eyebrows lower than usual, his eyes in a weird shape, like if it was an apology.
He used to be so active, so energetic—but tonight, he was even quieter than when I heard him yesterday from upstairs.
Sunghoon and Heeseung requested to watch a movie. You tried distracting yourself by helping Jay pick out snacks from the pantry, but his gaze was burning you, you could feel it no matter what you do. All of a sudden, ni-ki requested Jake to go grab some drinks. As he walked past you to the fridge he whispered, "Y/n, can we talk?"
It was starting to get late, each member leaving, keeping you and Jake alone. You didn't want to talk in the apartment with ni-ki so you both requested going outside the apartment, take a little walk as you talk.
It reminded you of when you went on that field trip, walking downtown with lights everywhere, as if you were in a movie, as if the world was only you and him, nothing else mattered. After minutes of silence, he broke it, Jake finally spoke.
- I didnt expect to you again. He said
- I didnt either.
- I wanted to apologise for everything, I know i said that the last time we spoke, but i really mean it this time. I know that whatever the reason was, I should've never acted that way.
- But Jake, how many times have we been through this before? Its been 10 years and yet you still say the same thing. I don't even know why I'm still here, listening to you say all of this, even after all the time that passed.
- I know I was always wrong, i know. My parents forced me okay? They didn't think I'd be able to focus on my education if I kept talking to you. My graders were dropping and they thought it was because of you when really it was because i was fooling around with my friends. I know you asked me if it was because of my parents and I said no but I was just so scared I didn't know what to do, I didn't want to disrespect my parents either and tell you that they were telling me to leave you.
As you were trying to find the words to respond to him, he continued.
- I know i was a jerk, and i dont expect you to forgive me so easily especially that im saying all of this so late, I didnt know if you would want to ever see my face again anyway. I needed to say this all because i cant keep it in anymore.
At this point, he’s sobbing, unable to even walk anymore—he just sat there, on the side of the road. His hands covering his face and trying to wipe his tears as fast as he face—now, avoiding your gaze at all times.
You’ve never seen him like this, he never cried, never spoke about his feelings, he never thought he should because he wanted to look strong all the time. “okay Jake, I forgive you, I forgave you a long time ago, just please, get up Jake. Let’s go to your place, I can’t leave you like this, please.” You pleaded, feeling sorry for him. You knew he had a kind heart deep down despite everything, your heart ached at the scene in front of you.
You got to his place, helped him wash his face, his face flushed, embarrassed that he did all that after seeing you just once aft all those years. Everything was weird, despite the entire scene, everything was still unspoken, leaving plenty of things to discuss about.
As you sat him down on his couch, he said, "Y/n. I promise you for real this time, i'll tell you everything, I'll explain everything right now, I want to fix things even if it takes another 10 years to cure it all."
"Okay." you said, everything felt like the day you two confessed, explaining the unexplained, answering the questions you both were wondering about each other's actions back there.
Maybe it was going to take a while to get everything adjusted again, but you didn't mind, its not like you waited 10 years already, you know how to wait. None of that mattered right now, you were just relieved that finally—you have answers.
Maybe, it was worth it—having you famous in my mind.
#enhypen#enha#enhypen fanfiction#enha x reader#enha fluff#enhypen fluff#enha ff#enhypen ff#enha smau#enha angst#enha scenarios#enha imagines#kpop#jake enhypen#jake angst#enhypen jake#jake sim#jake x reader#enhypen angst#enhypen fic#enhypen smau#sim jaehyun x reader#sim jaeyun#sim jake#sim jaeyoon#enhypen soft hours#enhypen soft thoughts#enha soft hours#enha soft thoughts#jake soft thoughts
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Forbidden Love Pt. 10 💔❣️
Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)
Prompt: Reuniting with Elvis was supposed to be the highlight of your summer, but with unresolved tensions between you two, things aren't what they seem. [Fem! reader]
TW: SMUT, filth, cussing, a lot of bad things in here you've been warned
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 4.1k
A/N: Hi everyone! A little late night post with a lot of spicy things sooooo yeah🫣 This chapter was going to go a very different direction but the image of E in a robe absolutely ruined me and now we are here🫠 Please enjoy hehe😈
❣️
The next few days were spent in solitude. You didn’t want to interact with anyone and you honestly didn’t have the energy to. Your dream a few nights ago freaked you out and made you reflect on your relationship with Elvis. This rekindled flame you two had was a raging wildfire and you were desperate for him to love you.
You just didn’t know how to go about that. Should you confess your feelings for him and run off in your happily ever after? That’s if he remotely feels the same way for you too. But it wasn’t going to be that easy. You needed to leave John, he needed to figure out what to do with Dianne, there were a lot of messy bits to deal with.
And to make it worse, these dreams kept happening. They were not as intense as that first one, but they still involved trying to make him fall in love with you and take care of you in anyway he possibly could. You’d wake up jarred from these dreams most of the time, and to your liking, Elvis was still there, ready to comfort you and tell you to go back to sleep.
Elvis worried about you alone in your room all day. He’d check in on you every morning and bring you something to eat. And at night, when the whole house was asleep, he’d sneak into your room again and talk to you. Your spirits were lifted when he was near you. You would talk about movies and what he wants to watch next. He let you borrow a ton of books to read, the ones that were his favorites that talked about philosophy and spirituality. You found them fascinating and enlightened you. It gave you a sense of what Elvis needed; purpose.
He didn’t feel fulfilled doing the kinds of projects he was involved with the last few years but everything changed with his TV special. The world saw him for who he really was. He was an undeniable rock star who had enough talent to impress anyone of any age.
He’d sleep in your room every night. Sometimes without saying a word, he’d just sit on the floor, his arms on the edge of the bed, looking up at you talking about whatever and acting like it was the most important topic. He was too good to you. You melted every time for him. You never wanted the night to end so you could continue to enjoy having his undivided attention.
A part of you also didn’t want to fall asleep either. It took you a long time to fall asleep normally, your mind would wander. You’d always tell him to get in bed with you and lay on his chest, listening to his excited heart beat away for you. Every moment you had with him was so precious and you couldn’t help but feel like any moment he was going to be taken away from you. You would wrap your arm over his chest and he would usually hold your hand there, making sure you weren't going anywhere. Those wandering thoughts would keep you up longer than they should... especially if they thought about his hands... or how needy your body felt next to him...
You couldn’t fall asleep tonight and Elvis hadn’t come in to see you yet. He’s made you spoiled and couldn’t rest until he was near you in some capacity. You hoped he wasn’t in his bedroom because you had this fear you’d find Dianne in there one day. You quickly put a silk robe over your nightgown and make your way out to find him.
In the hallway, you see the light on in his office. You had never been in there before but really wanted to see him before you went to sleep. You turn the doorknob and crack it open before entering.
“Elvis?”
You hear the squeak of a chair moving and papers rustling quickly.
“Oh, come in honey,” Elvis says quietly.
You enter the office and see him sitting behind his desk. Your poor heart shudders at the sight of him. He was pure, dripping temptation. His hair was a bit unkempt with a few strands that fell on his forehead. What he was wearing made you incredibly weak. He was in a black robe, loosely tied at his waist leaving most of his tan chest exposed. You were practically drooling at the sight. He looks at you with those needy blue eyes and sits up a bit.
“Hey baby, what are you doing up?” He asks.
“I couldn’t sleep, I wanted to see you,” you blush.
The corner of his mouth turns into a smirk and you watch as he raises his index finger, summoning you to him.
“Come here, baby.”
You close the door behind you and go to him, sitting on the corner of the desk in front of him. You get a better look at what he's wearing and it looks like he's just wearing the long robe and nothing else underneath.
Mhmm. Quite sexy.
“Sorry, I haven’t come to see you. I was just going over some things for the show,” he says picking up a piece of paper with a bunch of songs written on it.
“A little over a week and you guys open. Are you excited?”
“In a way, but the other part of me is terrified beyond belief. What if I can’t do it anymore?” He asks shakily.
“I know you can, you’ve never lost your ability to put on the best show. Someone like you just doesn’t lose that talent,” you tell him confidently.
“Thanks for believing in me. It’s just overwhelming.”
“I can only imagine. Pretend you’re singing just to me then, maybe that’ll help,” you say lightheartedly.
His eyes flutter up at you and he smirks again.
“That would only make me more nervous,” he jokes.
“What?! You used to tell me all the time that when you got a little nervous before a show, you pretended to sing as if only one friend was in the crowd."
"You're right, I used to say that," he chuckles.
"And back then, if I missed you, I'd pretend that you were singing to me when I put on one of your records. You always ease my mind when I hear your voice,” you tell him.
He chuckles and grabs your hand, softly rubbing his thumb along the back of it.
“I still do sing for you,” he says low, his eyes blazing with intensity.
You stare back at him and feel your breath catch in your throat. He was too beautiful for his own good and made you want to be his more than anything in this world. It was impossible to deny him anything.
He didn't let go of your hand and it made your heart race uncontrollably. You try to distract yourself and go to pick up the setlist that was on the desk and glance over it. He made some edits from the last time you went and saw him rehearse. The show was going to be amazing, there was no doubt about that. You couldn't wait to see him back on stage doing what he does best.
“I want you to come to Vegas with me,” he says suddenly, taking you a bit by surprise.
“Yes of course I'll be there. I'll definitely be there for opening night and maybe stay the weekend or something,” you try to explain.
“Yes, but we leave in a few days. I have to go and rehearse on the main stage with the whole band over there. I want you to come with me then.”
Your first instinct was to tell him no. He was always trying to cause trouble. But now you felt things were different especially because of how John was acting. You felt like you didn't have to be so careful because hell, he definitely wasn’t telling you the truth about things. But there was still apprehension.
“Well, what would you say to explain why I'm there before the show is even opening?” you ask him.
“Let me take care of all of that. Just tell me you're coming,” he says squeezing your hand.
“Okay, I'll go,” you say with a smile.
“Perfect, I feel less nervous already.”
You let go of his hand to look at the other drafts of the setlist he made. His blocky, chicken scratch writing was hard to make out sometimes, especially when he got frustrated, but you found it cute though. You see there were newspaper articles underneath all his different notes and you pull at the corner of one of them. Elvis puts his hand on top of the pile of papers and takes a sharp breath in.
“Umm honey…” he trails off.
This reaction only furthered your curiosity. Now you had to see what he was reading. You move his hand and pull the rest of the newspaper out. It took you a second to realize what you were reading but it was an article about the first movie you were in. The article highlighted your performance in a few sentences but it was still a huge deal for you! You're not sure where you even had a copy for yourself but Elvis had it.
You look underneath and find more articles and pictures of you in magazines too. Your curiosity heightened and were surprised by this discovery. These pictures of you were from various promotional stills you did for a movie or TV show. Some of these had you in costumes that were more revealing than you remember. There was one where you were playing a cocktail waitress in a strapless short dress. Or another where you were in a bikini for a beach movie.
“So, what do we have here?” you tease.
Elvis looks away from you, blushing with embarrassment.
“Are you my fan?” you giggle.
“Hmm, I would say a bit more than that,” he chuckles.
“You have quite the collection of me,” you quip.
“Yeah well back then… it was the only way I could see you so I would save any article or picture you were in. It’s cowardly now that I say it out loud but that's how I went about it,” he says shyly.
“Mmm, I see,” you say softly. A realization hits you though, “Well what were you doing with all of these out tonight? I'm just in the other room.”
He flashes his eyes up at you, making your heart stop.
“I’d rather not tell you what I was doing.”
Your eyes can't help but drink him in right there in front of you. He made it impossible to think clearly and the way he was looking tonight made your inhibitions even murkier.
“Show me what you were thinking then.” You murmur.
His eyes blow wide for a second, making sure he heard what you just asked of him. He shakes his head and you feel the overwhelming desire for him take over your body. He begins to pull the silk ties of his robe. You see the material lifted up from his hardened length and you pause. You wanted to have him ravage you tonight. It had been too long but you wanted to watch him before you asked him for that. To your delight, as he pulled back the material from his body, he was naked underneath and his cock was throbbing with need.
You bite your lip, trying to hold back the moan you wanted to let escape from seeing him naked again. He leans back in the chair, letting you admire him a bit more. Dear lord he was so perfect and you couldn’t help but want him desperately.
You look back up into his eyes and let a shaky breath out.
“What were you doing in here with all these pictures of me?” You ask quietly, knowing you might pass out if you heard the answer come from his lips.
“Honey, I don’t think you understand what you do to me,” he says low and sultry. You watch as he lowers his hand and wraps it around his length. His head was leaking with precum and he glides it down his shaft.
You felt your body tremble, unable to breathe or respond to what he just said. You secretly loved that he wanted you, just how you wanted him, but hearing it from his mouth was like a dream. He slowly rubs his cock as he takes his time looking at what you were wearing. Your cheeks were beginning to burn as you watched him pleasure himself in front of you.
“I’ve missed being with you,” he groans, letting his head fall back a bit. The sound of his low guttural tone sends a bolt of lightning through your body, causing your arousal to pool.
“Me too,” you say in a breathy sigh.
“I wanted to go to your room tonight but I know it was going to be difficult to get in bed with you.”
“How so?”
“You have no idea how hard it is to lay next to your whimpering body at night, clinging onto me for dear life, and somehow not make you satisfied,” he suggests.
You hold your breath, realizing your fear has come true. He heard you whimpering for him, dying for him to love you and never leave your side. It was embarrassing you couldn’t keep that to yourself even when you were asleep!
“Are you dreaming of me?” He asks mischievously. His hand moves slower and waits for your answer. You can’t say it out loud, it was too damming. You feel your cheeks burn even more and can barely look at him.
“I-… I’d rather not tell you,” you breathe, your eyes trailing down to his cock. You bit your lip to hide the way you wanted to cuss his name. Watching him like this was so damn hot.
“Then show me. Show me what you want, what I do to you in your dreams,” he commands.
You feel your head spin and your heart flip by his tone. Oh God, this was so bad, so lewd of what you two were asking of one another. You sit there frozen, unsure what to say. You would never do something like this in front of a man. Elvis was no regular man though. He had you in the palm of his hand and was able to make you succumb to him with the slightest breath.
You carefully untie your robe, showing the silk nightgown underneath it. He grabs you by the hips and slides you over on the desk so you’re right in front of him. His eyes are heated and serious, too much for you to handle. His fingertips pull your nightgown up, revealing your uncovered core. He sucks in a sharp breath, not expecting for you to be naked underneath.
“Jesus baby… comin’ in here lookin’ like this?” He coos, his hands squeezing around your thighs, making you tremble.
“I always sleep like this, you’ve never seemed to notice,” you spat proudly.
“How lucky am I,” he smirks, as his hand slowly spreads your legs apart and begins to trail up higher until his thumb finds your clit. Your eyes roll back and let him give you this undeniable pleasure.
“Come on, show me what you want. You’re so nice and wet,” he groans softly.
He’s made you so breathless and wanted to give him anything he ever wanted.
Your hand lowers and finds your throbbing clit. He was right, you were already so wet from just watching him and needed more. You lightly rub it and jolt from the sensation. You were so sensitive and could barely put more pressure on it, let alone, look up into his needy eyes. But you do it anyway and it nearly knocks the wind out of you. God those piercing blues were killers. You so badly wanted to please him.
“I-I’m usually the one to beg for you in these dreams… wanting you to hold me or… to make love to me,” you whimper as your fingers gather more slick that’s dripping out of you. He bites his lip momentarily, liking the thought of that.
“Fuck, I don’t know if I can handle you begging for me… it seems too good to be true,” he says with a groan. You watch as his hand lowers again and his eyes are heavy with lust as he watches you. An airy whimper escapes your throat as you rub your clit more, wanting him to be giving you this pleasure instead of yourself.
“Tell me what else happens? Do I give you what you need?” He asks, licking his lips slowly and biting his bottom lip.
“No, I always wake up before… well, you know,” you say slightly embarrassed. “I’m just desperate for your attention Elvis.”
He groans at that sentiment, loving to hear that you need him so badly.
“I know honey, you’re just too stubborn to let me take care of you.”
He gets up from his chair and slowly sinks to his knees in front of you. Your heart races uncontrollably and grab a fistful of his hair with your other hand.
“I’m not stubborn,” you hiss at him.
“Yes you are, you would rather pull me into bed every night and pretend to be sleeping even though I know you’re wanting me to take care of that wet pussy,” he says confidently. You are about to protest but you feel his lips kiss the inside of your thigh and you feel on fire. The heat inside of you blinded you from saying anything else.
You answer him with a breathy moan instead, your fingers moving faster and the lower half of your body trying to get his lips to move higher. He teases you instead and doesn’t give you the satisfaction right away. You’re falling apart quickly, wanting him to give you so much more pleasure.
“Elvis,” you softly cry.
“What baby?” He says in between kisses.
“Please… I need you,” you sigh, pulling at his hair tighter.
“Mhmm, I know baby, what do you need? Have to be specific,” he tells you with a sly smile. You then feel his tongue lick the inside of your thigh, all the way to your weeping core. You cover your mouth with your hand and try not to let out the loud moan you need to. You spread your legs wider and push your hips into his face. You hear him hum amused, liking that this is the reaction he’s gotten out of you.
“Yes, oh God,” you cry.
He groans softly as he eats your pussy with elation, starved for you it seems. You gasp at every flick of his tongue, making you come unglued as each second passes. You let your head fall back and struggle for air.
He stops suddenly, looking up at you with a devilish stare.
“Tell me what you need from me,” he growls, squeezing your thighs tight.
You place your hands on the desk and lean back momentarily. You swallow harshly before speaking, unable to get the words out the way he’s looking at you.
“Fuck me,” you gasp.
He quickly stands up, unable to denounce the command you gave him. He sloppily kisses you, tongues and lips crashing into one another. You feel him rub his tip against your core and groan into your mouth. You whimper in agony, too sensitive to be teased.
“Please,” you beg him.
He smiles against your lips and hums pleased.
“Say it again, beg for it,” he whispers out of breath.
You whine and pull at his hips, wanting him to be inside of you already.
“Elvis please,” you cry.
He lets out another groan and he’s rubbing his tip at your entrance.
“One more time baby,” he breathes in your ear.
“Mmm Elvis please, I need you. Please fuck me,” you cry.
He pushes the papers off the desk and with a grunt, he pushes his cock inside of you, stretching your entrance around him. You whimper at the feeling of him and hold onto his arms. He moved slowly, letting you adjust to the size of him and making you even wetter than before. Pleasure seared through you and can’t get enough of him. Your eyes flutter close and let him take over. He was so overwhelming and so addictive. You loved having every ounce of his attention on you.
“God baby, fuck you feel good,” he groans.
He grunts with every thrust, going deeper and deeper inside of you. You gasp for breath and look into his heated eyes. You could feel the heat in your belly grow, pleasure building with every second as he looked at you like he was beckoning you to fall apart for him.
You let your head fall back and hold onto him tighter, never wanting to let him go. His hips pound into you faster and his hands squeeze and caress your breasts, bringing another bit of pleasure to you. Just the way he sounds makes you want to fall apart. He sounds like he’s been deprived of you. He was taking his time and enjoying every inch of you.
His lips are doing some of the work too, sucking and biting at the sensitive skin, starting at your breasts. You arch your back into his mouth, loving how this feels. He works his way up to your neck too, licking and sucking at the most sensitive part of your neck. He likes how he has you reeling for more.
You then feel his hands slowly wrap around your neck, making your eyes pop open.
“Let me look at you. I want to see your face when I fuck you,” he says low, his cock buried deep inside you. You gasp at the feeling of him and try to muster up the courage to look at him. You could barely take any more, you wanted to fall apart on him and then beg him for more.
You look at him once more and nod your head.
“Yes baby, don’t stop, please. I’m going to cum,” you whine.
He smirks at your pleading face and moves more, sliding his hand down your body until he finds your clit. You think the last time was the best he possibly can make you feel but he just continues to prove you wrong. You move your hips with him, feeling your orgasm loom and about to come crashing down. Elvis glances at where you two are connected, making a mess all over his desk, and groans. He looks back up at you, his forehead damp with sweat and his eyes blazing into your skin.
Your muscles tense with each thrust and you come crashing down. You bury your face into his neck and hold back the cry you want to let out. Your orgasm blinds you and gasp for air as he relentlessly fucks you into the desk. He lets out frustrated groans as he feels your walls squeeze around him and your slick pools out of you. He was close too and couldn’t hold back from seeking his own release. You pull your head away from his neck and stay close enough to where your noses are almost touching. Elvis was struggling to keep the pace he set and something about looking at you in the eye was making him come unglued. His jaw clenches and slowly pushes you down onto the desk. He pulls your legs up and has you wrap them around his torso. He watches you get blissfully fucked out of your mind here, taking each inch of his cock and moaning for him to keep going. His hips stutter and you can feel him pour his warm release into you. You both cuss each other’s names, loving how you are making one another feel. You look helplessly at him, watching him come down from his orgasm and groan with each movement he makes.
“Fuck I missed you,” he groans, slowly pumping his cock in and out of you. Your entrance was becoming too sensitive, you could barely handle anything else from him.
“I missed you,” you gasp. You try to sit up on your elbows and watch him move. You grab his wrist and he sees you’re exhausted. He slowly pulls his cock out of you with a grunt. You watched how it came out of you wet and still a bit hard.
He leans down and kisses you with need like he hadn’t just gotten enough of you.
His fingers are back at your entrance, rubbing your arousal along your folds. You hiss at the sensation, you need a break but you know he’s not going to give you one.
“Baby please,” you whimper.
“What honey?” He says slyly.
“I can’t, I need a second.”
“I’m not done with you, I know you want more. I have other ways of making a mess of you.”
You tremble at the idea and nod your head at him, liking that idea way too much.
*
*
*
Tagging:
@loving-elvis @neptuneismysister @velvetelvis @ccab @presleyenterprise @theresalwaysep
@sillybookmarks @dkayfixates
@ellie-24 @rktismylife-blog
@myradiaz @tacozebra051
@18lkpeters @flwrs4aust @emma181873
@austinswhitewolf@eliseinmemphis
@everythingelvispresley@chasingwildflowers
@idontwanttoputanything @ohjustpeachy-
@elvisalltheway101 @austinsmutler @kingdomforapony.
@generoustreemystic @claire-elvisgirl
@ashtag6887 @burnthheparaphilia @richardslady121
@jaqueline19997
@returntopresley. @iloveelvis @rjmartin11@that-hotdog @louisejoy86 @misspresley@cattcb @annapresley8
@arrolyn1114 @raginginkedslut @epthedream69
@mh777ep1938
@50sexyshadestashionista
@oldhOllywOod @hooked-on-elvis @livelovedilfs
@sloppiest-of-jos @thisis-theway @gatheraheart
@aphroditebabygirl @faeolwen
#elvis presley fanfiction#elvis presley#elvis smut#elvis presley imagine#elvis fic#elvis x y/n#elvis x you#elvis x reader#forbidden love fic
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🥺💋☠️🎧💝
#yes yes yes yes PLEASE#soooo how long do you think you could last making out with me before you snapped huh? 👀😉#I wanna play that game 👀👀👀#ALSO THE WAY I ALMOSTT SCREAMED WHEN I READ WHAT ☠️ MEANR#need need need need I would like to get utterly destroyed pretty pleaseeeeeee#I don’t think there’s a way to properly ‘prepare’ to get my holes destroyed but ya know I’ll try 😂#I miss making audios :(((#I can’t cause of my living situation#I mean I could do some light moans and whispers maybeeeee#but nothing near my usual noisy loud ass self 😂#sir you can tear anything off of me you want 😇#leave the lingerie on while you fuck me or slowly and gently take off each layer orrrr if you’re really feeling it#(and I don’t love the lingerie lol)#you can cut it off me 👀🫣🫣🫣#anywayyyy#having a normal day with normal thoughts hehe#gotta get dinner and definitely not thinking about ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️#hope you’ve been doing alright lovely 🫶#ask
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And here is the bull himself >:)
+ lore notes
I was like, ah I should make the shadow something interesting, and then I'm like GIVE HIM BULL HORNS???? OKAY SURE !!!!! I'm glad such thoughts can strike at 7 in the morning....thanks brain. But hehehe I'm glad bcs now this matches up super well with the Nando one!
New ship dynamic: who's the bull and who's the matador :)
I think, in this AU, Fernando is generally pretty fond of Seb when he first meets him. Like "ah yes my very own protégé, very nice, I shall mold him in my image." But then Seb starts veering off that course. Bullfighting is all about being dramatic, but Seb maybe has a bit too much(🤏) flair for the dramatic. This escalation starts while he's still Fernando's assistant but he keeps it generally at bay. But god when he becomes a matador himself, he's just off the rails insane.
Bullfighting, to me, is a sport about reckless endangerment of one's self in the pursuit of drama and performance(its literally described as a tragedy in three acts.) But Fernando thinks Seb endangers himself *too* much, not because he cares or anything, but he's making a mockery of the sport!! Especially when Seb starts doing that bull hand symbol(seen above), Fernando just keeps become more enraged with him, not anything to do with the fact that Seb is threatening his records and threatening his own wellbeing, nah of course not.
Seb's gesture is making a mockery of the sport, he's disrespecting the culture, the very nature of it, blah blah blah. Jenson once asks Fernando, after noticing him seething while watching Seb do his gesture, "Which bull are you really trying to defeat?" One could also describe Fernando and Seb's relationship as a "tragedy with three acts."
Anyways Fernando gets very tied up with this rivalry. Even after suffering a severe injury(I have yet to decide, but y'know mchonda electrocution core), he quickly returns to the sport, loath to let Seb get any more headway. And then Seb gets injured, poor little sweet Seb, and neither of them can handle it. Though I already covered this in my prev lore post 🤭 and I think I put it pretty viscerally there so!! I digress.
They're both matadors, but the bull itself is not the only bull Fernando wants to conquer. Conquer as in death? Hm.
#i love matador au all my homies love matador au#<- its a lot of fun for me to draw and easy to have ref for :) so its like my little comfort drawings#even tho i want to sob every time i write any of the lore down bcs it is so </3#ah i just like how visceral it is ig#f1 is a dangerous sport but bullfighting is just. such another level of maniacs 😭#ive talked abt this a lot w cofi lmao its just super interesting to me. just the whole mentality and display and culture of it#also just: trajes de luces go brrrrrrr#ah one day ill draw both of them in green suits 🤭🤭#i had a chibi art of this au i was working on bcs i didnt have mental energy for a full thing#or at least i THOUGHT so#ive had the refs for this since 2 wks and im like YOU WILL FINISH THIS bcs i rly liked the pose 😭#so then i just drew for like 5 hours straight. yknow as one does#and wrote this post at uh. 8 am. normal time for one to be drawing and writing. as one does.#WELL ANYWAYS PLEASE ENJOY MATADOR SEB#this au grips me the throat 😭 i rly enjoy it 😭#i have a lot of thoughts ab the au lore itself but also drawing these is very no thoughts head empty <3#also god side note. pink stockinks. i hated the idea of them at first. but now im like hehe hot pink time 🥰🥰#its crazy how it doesnt clash that much??? i thought it would ruin the outfit but ah they suit everything p well#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#catie.art.#matador au
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The heart grows ever fonder ♥ (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#ZEX#DAX#You thought they were just normal SCII doodles but it was a trick! These are still inspired by Helix!! Haha ♪#Specifically of ZEX going in for one-on-one therapy and being discouraged from being Quite so clingy hehe#I was struck by just how quickly he was convinced - denotes to me a level of not just logical understanding but perhaps even relating#And who could fit such description! Of being a little overly-concerned and hovery near the Admiral? Hehe ♪#Is it different ZEX? Is it really?#It's all out of looooove~♥ It's only different by so much!#DAX's overbearing husband routine is admittedly a bit differently motivated than ZEX's romantic trysts with his Captain but still haha#Especially of the moments where ZEX wants to protect his human! Again the motivation is slightly different but by how much!#I love ZEX's possessiveness in relation to his protective and patronizing feelings hehe <3 He's so pessimistic!#Way to alliterate me lol#And then so is DAX though he's a little more realistic - at least his pessimism is tempered by hard evidence of ZEX getting hurt :(#Just makes him more of a helicopter! Haha#I really have changed not even a bit in the five years since I first fell in love with ZEX <3 He still inspires head full of love hearts ♥#I spent quite literally the entire day thinking about and doodling him he's just so lovely#I can tell that this fixation has already hit its first fever pitch but since there's still more to read hehe ♪#Rounding out with he <3 Beautiful <3#I was watching a speedpaint and they made such lovely scale-plated armor that I was very inspired!#Much as I enjoy the thought of ZEX preferring his uniform over needlessly dressing up I do still love him in fancy clothes haha#A decorative armor piece but still lovely all the same :) And of course his head feelers decorated! Lightly ♪#He's really so handsome <3
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good morning!! <333
#same as usual today hehe#i need to write more prompts today bc i didn't yesterday#(was too busy rewatching arle's story quest to get screenshots hehe)#but i'll try to write at least 1/2 prompts today so I'm still ahead for the next few days#we do have to go get my id renewed (it expires tomorrow lol - i really do need to learn to drive soon)#but yeah pretty normal stuff for the most part ^^#gosh i really wanna get better about talking on here more often but like my brain rarely gives me proper f/o thoughts so lol#oh yeah also i made it past the next little section in echoes so I'll get to make more progress there :3#anyways i hope today/tonight is kind to you!!!! <333#morning rambles
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V? Or if it's already been asked, L? 💕
hi alyssa i hope ur well!!!!! ty tyy sm <3
𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐜 𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥.
𝐕𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐈 𝐃𝐄 𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐀 / 𝐕𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐈 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐖 — my (likely!!) second playthrough after irulanne in veilguard and my emmrich appreciator!!!!!! <33 a evoker mage that uses the orb and dagger weapons!!!! born as one of the bastards of king fulgeno ii of antiva and an elven bard, making her the younger half sister of viago!! like all of fulgenos bastards she was given a choice to go to the crows or exile, vethari chose exile (initially) and went to orlais to study as a bard like her mother and older twin. veth was okay at it, especially the lessons involving espionage and getting rid of someone ofc hskdjk. but haated everything else (also she thinks she sounds like a dying cat when she sings jdkhkj). her twin was a far better bard then her anyway so she….. just left lol. then the breach veil tears open in places right triggers her dormant magic it was a TIME learning she had that *wheeze* and went on wacky hijinks for a wee until eventually (begrudgingly) realizing maybe the crow life is the life for her and she joined the crows (to be honest she missed her brother really bad 🥀🤧 they were thick as THIEVES) and the rest will be history!!!!!! shes my girlboss girlfailure and purple leaning bbg and i am SOO stoked to see what is in store for her in datv <3
𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍 𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐑 — dragon age (adjacent <3) the namesake of lhysas daughter lorien! ancestor of lhysa, feanorian, linnae, and irulanne and a biiiiiig player in a pre veil/arlathan thingy i am toooootally not in the planning stages working on HEHE. redacted/wip on the lore for now hehe but she was very close to solas :)) (some say more than close but ykyk right person wrong time something something lost love always finds its way to what is meant to be red string of fate youll never get away from the sound of the (one) who loves you or something!!)
#🌞: alyssa#risingsh0t#thank you thank you so much and i hope youre well! 🥀☺️#DRAGON GAME BRAINROT DRAGON GAME BRAINROT HEHE the worms for brains are occupying my waking and dreaming thoughts <33#leg.txt#leg.ocs#oc: vethari de riva#has an older twin named ravenni as well that i am in the process of developing <33#ravenni and vethari aren’t quite so close 🥀😅 they dont outright hate each other but they’re not close either yk??#oc: lorien lethanavir#found a name (for now at least!!!!) for the c*ullen girliee and their cousin!! :))#lhysolas soulmateism so strong it transcends time i am normal about it 🥀😵💫 !!!!!!!!#ik ur avoiding spoilers so i kept veth and loriens lore to pre game backstory and spark notes versions 🥀💌☺️ !!!!!!#and trespasser lore for lorien <33 thank you so much again and i hope youre doing well!!!!!#so excited for linnae and to romance cullen againn!! fun fact my first pt i romanced him it was SO good#prior to lhysolas having a vice grip on me since to this day that was the first pookie 🥀😌
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classes are Over ... suspended as soon as my classes were done earlier lol ecks dee BUT ANYWAY fun day tbh :3 if slightly annoying
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#me talking w my classmates yayyy ^_^ i lov them#excited but also not excited for next week :P honestly school is really fun for me#ANYWAY tho ... bg3 ..... oh my GOD#and a lot of stuff i wna do hehe <3 yay#good afternoon people !! have a good day arghhh#i'm a mix of joy and annoyance and that's normal tbh but god i wna [redacted] but whatever <33
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this post really is the blueprint for RR felix vs lover boy felix
#literally RR felix is like an annoying piece of shit at first because he thinks hes got his life under control#and then he realises he doesnt and hes like omg everything is falling apart nothing matters let me get hedonistic and silly with it#then hes like wait no i want my life to be okay i want to be a good person :(#ASTRONIMIC crisis over that because he thinks hes gone past a line#(so much of RR thematically is feeling like you're a 'lost cause' bc of childhood trauma hehe)#and then lover boy felix is like oh i made positive progress with myself#but its just made me feel fragile because i feel like i have more to lose#mfs with trauma will finally reach a sense of peace in their life and its the opposite of peace because it makes them so scared#but its still funny because RR felix is like doing cocaine in the bathtub on a wednesday afternoon#lover boy felix works at a kindergarten and is probably well hydrated#i dont think he realises how much progress he's made and when he does that's when he gets scared#especially because now hes more intentionally unpacking his trauma which is a lot#but like instead of fucking people and fighting people and breaking into houses to cope he like gets a caramel frappe and has a cry#LMAO#because he's like one wrong move and ill go back to how i was and ruin everything (which he does almost do exactly that BUT)#he will return to being messy at some point though....gotta have him falter which will scare him so much#also has a mild gender crisis between all of this too#that's my infodump on tumblr of the day so many thoughts in my head that i cant do anything with#thats really cool dallon have you been evaluated for autism#lover boy is like the normal spongebob of my wips because its tragic and emotional#but the characters dont feel like theyre basically or literally fighting for their lives every day LOL#it's refreshing i cant lie
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microdosing coming out by macrodosing "ooo i wanna look Just Like Him. HIM. HE HIM HIM HIM. JUST LIKE HIM." like oh look at the broad shoulders and wide, flat chest. oh, oh, so interesting, isn't it? wouldn't it be fun if i were a guy? imagine That!
#me randomly throughout the day: [showing a picture of some guy] don't you think it'd be so nice if i looked JUST LIKE HIM? hehe#being trans is fun#incoming in the tags:#dysphoria#sometimes i feel like maybe im not actually trans and that im just ~an imposter~ because it's ''''''trendy''''''#and then i remember that i literally cannot bear calling myself a girl + my chest makes me so.... [no words for it] +#everytime i have to accept what i have DOWN THERE whenever i pee or like idk put on underwear i have to like.#pretend that i dont know what what i have is and that i am a small child again who does not know that people have different parts#until like. halfway through last year i thought everyone wanted to be out of the skin they were born in. i thought it was a normal thing#brought on by puberty.#and i also thought that maybe i just felt that way because i didn't look ~conventionally attractive~#but then i started ~working on myself~ and changing these things and i still couldn't stand the fact that this was my skin.#that i couldn't tear it away so i could finally be ~real~#i remember that i was watching a video and i thought he looked cool but at the same time the voice in my head that was like#'you want to look like THAT so bad and that's going to k ill you' and i had to pause the video and look away for a sec because#i couldn't accept that i just didn't look like that....#like yeah dude. you're trans#not 'not like other girls' in a pick me way but 'not like other girls' in that im a guy and feel incredibly alien in my body#sorry i started talking about all that. i'll tag it no worries
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listening to a lot of songs rn n i'm just thinking of how much i love my music taste
#🌙.rambles#from the softest piano melodies to metal or wtvr#hehe i watched like. i came across the orchestral version of animals by the architects n i saw s&m from metallica in the comments#thought i'd listen to it sometime n well yk what the day after when apollo n i were talking about music in the car#our dad hehe mentioned the album ^^ he bought the disks long ago even iirc????#n he played from the spotify album i think n this night i've been listening to some songs as well as a lot others too#I REALLY SHLDVE LISTENED TO THESE EARLIER AAAA#i only listened to 2 so far bcs i keep on adding stuff to my queue n i've made 3 playlists w nearly the exact same songs uh#YEAH YOU GET THE POINT 😭 i have. nearly 900 playlists in my library bcs i just rlly love music so much i want to#yk. organize it Somehow or just place it somewhere but man it gets out of hand fr but honestly idrc#i listened to nothing else matters from the s&m album n then devil's dance#just those two so far bcs of the reasons i just mentioned n I LOVE IT SO MUCH AAAA N THE NORMAL VERSION TOO#songs like. devil's dance from metallica & the end of the dream by evanescence & cerberus from ffxv's ost &#the apocalypsis songs from ffxv; noctis/aquarius/magnatus#all have this vibe to me that i grp them together with.#n then. another vibe would be insanity from ffxiv's ost & illuminated world from gbf (both versions)#as well as angels from within temptation#listening to music just puts me so at ease i love it when my mind is at work n just. idk how to explain but yk analyzes it n all!!!!#i genuinely really don't want this to come off as bragging or being arrogant n i probably didn't have to say this but#i have trauma from some old friends being mean to me abt that when i was just happy n passionate 😭#but i like my. genes. being intelligent really is in my blood#i love that honestly. the way i grew up with so much.#loving life. being curious about everything. reading so many books watching so many shows n#god i grew up with those + music n video games too. hehe i'm rlly glad i grew up mostly well w my family at least#n yeah i've always been naturally intelligent. n then. i'm.. special too in a way i suppose it wouldn't be wrong to say#i have a twin. i grew up in a way i really like. i've really grown to be able to love myself n love life at heart#though i do definitely know how hard it gets. n. that makes me appreciate all these things more n. yk yh help others bcs i know how it is
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.𖥔 ݁ ˖ LEAVING LIPSTICK STAINS ON LEVI
fem!reader, sfw, fluff, you leave lipstick all over levi before a mission and the scouts find out, just something super cutesy & short while i work on some longer pieces hehe, pls ignore errors lol, 1.3k words
“promise you’ll come back in one piece?” you say, smoothing the wrinkle between levi’s brow with a kiss.
he glances up at you from under his lashes, crinkling his nose as a short, breathy laugh escapes him, one he tries to subdue. still, he can’t deny the happiness that slips onto his features, not when joy is so fleeting because of the life that the two of you live.
cold hands run across your back, down to your hips as you straighten his collar, kissing his sharp cheekbones, the bridge of his nose. “i’ve made it this far, haven’t i?” levi mutters, squeezing your sides gently before shifting you off of his lap.
he lifts you, sets you on the edge of his desk, causing some of the papers that erwin had dropped off earlier to crinkle. a smile graces your lips as levi stands, stretching his limbs behind him, the chair pushing away from the desk with a creak.
“i’m going to be late because of you,” levi remarks, eyes narrowed playfully, but he gives you another kiss on the lips, lingering there like it’s painful to pull away.
“then stop kissing me.” your hands splay across his chest, but you don’t push him away, feeling his heart beat under his ribcage, the melody that you will always come back to. still, levi tugs your hips forward, slots in between your legs, and kisses you even deeper. “it’s time for you to go, captain levi.”
a heavy sigh weighs against your mouth, his exhale warm as he pulls back. “sounds like you want me gone.”
“of course i don’t.” your voice softens as you play with his fingers for a moment, before he's tugging them away gently, withdrawing from your figure. “i'm going to have to find someone else to sleep next to while you’re away."
normally, you would’ve been going with levi and the rest of the scouts, but an injury from your last mission prevented you from going on any more for a few weeks.
levi snorts, putting on his jacket, fixing the leather straps across his chest. “is that all i’m good for? killing titans and keeping your bed warm?”
you make a face at him, then shrug, half-hearted as he stares back at you with amusement. then, you laugh, cheerful and free; you know levi will come back to you. he has no other choice.
levi makes his way towards the door.
“levi?”
he turns, the lipstick stains still visible on his cheek, dark against his pale skin. for a moment, you wonder if you should tell him—if he’d be mad if you didn’t.
but then you remember he’s going to meet with a squad of fifteen year olds that have all almost died alongside him. if they really have a problem with their captain being loved by you, then they don’t care about him as much as you thought.
you smile and shake your head, voice holding just enough mischief for levi to notice. “just be safe. i love you.”
he softens. there are times where levi is hesitant to say the words, still worried you will be taken from him. but this is not one of those times. not when you will be separated for days, his life once again in danger. “i love you too, sweetheart.”
within ten minutes, levi is down to the first floor, pushing into the room where the members of his squad are already waiting.
he’s only a minute late, but he feels like they must have been waiting for hours, the way that they are all gawking at him with wide eyes, connie’s jaw faltering slightly. “everyone here?” levi asks, doing a quick scan of the room, counting heads like he’s their babysitter.
no one says anything. eren’s eyes look like they might bulge out of his head, and jean covers his mouth, looking away as him and sasha let out a stifled giggle.
levi’s mouth draws into an even thinner line. “what the hell are you snickering about?" he grumbles, looking at each of them individually, wondering who will be the first to confess.
their eyes dart away dramatically, faces red. even eren, who is normally more obnoxious than the rest, seems to have run out of words to say.
his eye twitches; levi wonders if connie’s head might burst, or if sasha’s laugh will rip out of her first.
“well?” levi asks again, snapping, already tired of this mission. a hot cup of tea sounds nice, in bed next to you.
armin, as usual, is the one to speak up when no one else has anything intelligent to say. “well, sir,” the blonde says, gesturing towards his own face. “i think…”
levi touches his cheek, remembering all the places you’d kissed him earlier, wearing that pretty black dress and your dark lipstick. a sigh leaves him when he pulls his fingers away, the tips coming back, smeared with a deep red.
he should've known.
“i see," levi says, staring for a moment, before meeting eren's eyes, his lips finally widening into a grin.
“ooooh," eren sings, his expression smug as mikasa elbows him, her own features pinched tight. "the captain’s in looooove."
levi knows they are expecting a reaction, a spectacle of the fact that he adores you. but he’s never kept it a secret, and he’s certainly not ashamed of all the things he feels for you.
“and what if i am?” levi asks instead, pointedly staring eren down as the rest of the scouts watch the exchange. “honestly, i am surprised no one noticed sooner.”
eren’s jaw falters a bit; a small wave of silence falls over the scouts. you and levi don't make a point of hiding your relationship, but really, levi shouldn’t have been surprised that no one in his squad was observant enough to notice.
or so he thought, anyway.
historia’s smaller, high-pitched voice breaks up the quiet, repeating your name back to him, as if affirmation that you’re the one he kisses goodnight. a silly question really, considering levi has never looked at anyone else with the same kind of tenderness.
“it is her, isn’t it?” historia asks, smiling softly. “i only know because you’re always holding hands under the table when you think no one can see.”
levi raises his eyebrow. “clearly we were wrong about that.” though, of all the things to notice, he thought it’d be the way you kiss him after every mission, the way he’s harder on you than anyone else because he doesn’t want to lose you.
eren shrieks your name like he’s never heard it before, and levi is starting to wonder if the boy actually is an idiot. his old squad had known immediately; petra caught you sneaking up to levi’s quarters when you thought everyone else was asleep, kissing him on the cheek when you thought everyone's back was turned.
it’s been a long time since then, he supposes. maybe the years have taught you subtlety.
“how long have you been together?”
“does she actually like you?”
“do you—” connie makes a lewd gesture with his fingers. “you know.”
“connie!” jean shouts, whacking him on the back of the head. “what do you think! dumbass.”
“hey!" connie says, rubbing his head. “geez. i just can’t picture it.”
"i’d rather you didn’t." levi’s face turns sour, disturbed by a room full of teenagers discussing his private and romantic life. “bring it up again and i’ll leave you outside of the wall on the next mission.” he pauses, crosses his arms with an exasperated exhale. “and she likes me just fine. at least, she has for the past five years.”
“five—”
a new wave of questioning starts and levi pinches his temples, shakes his head, the red smear of lipstick still on his face.
levi almost wishes you could’ve been there to field the questions instead. you’ve always been better with the kids, connected with them a lot easier than levi had.
even if it was would’ve exposed his lovesick eyes, the tiny lift of the corner of his mouth when you were around.
he’s never been very good about hiding it anyway.
#levi x reader#levi ackerman x you#levi ackerman x female reader#levi ackerman x reader#levi x you#xoxo rylie 💌 ୧⋆ ˚。⋆#levi ackerman fluff#levi ackerman angst#levi ackerman x y/n#levi ackerman x fem!reader#levi imagine#levi headcanons#levi drabble#aot x female reader#aot x reader#aot x you#aot fluff#snk x reader#snk x you#snk x y/n#attack on titan x female reader#attack on titan fanfiction#xoxo rylie 💌 ⋆ ˚。⋆
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Everyone sees Danny looks like Tim but I raise you Adult buff as shit, tall as shit, Fenton genetics™, Danny looks like Jason even down to the white tuffs which lead to the most horrified reactions from the Bat family to find a very smiley very well rounded and absolutely no violence Jason just about.
Like,
Dick out and about doing normal daily life shit suddenly sees his brother baby brother 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘺. Not dressed how he normally scrolling on his phone. There's a part of Dick that wanted to run up and tackle his brother into a hug because OH DEAR LORD HIS SWEET BABY IS SMILING. He hasn't seen him so happy in so long. Dick snaps a photo and moves on.
Tim heads to his normal coffee before heading into the office. He picks up the coffee (he technically isn't supposed to have) only to stop dead where he is when he sees Jason not only outside of Crime Alley, not only drinking coffee, but tinkering with a little device 𝙞𝙣 𝙥𝙪𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙘. Tim walks over to and sits down in the seat across from Jason. Work can fucking wait, what in God's name is his brother doing in his coffee shop tinkering like a mad man. Tim kicked him pretty hard under the table causing the man to jump and look at Tim which was a weird as fuck reaction for Jason. Till was about to say something when the other man spoke first. "Can I help you?" That- That wasn't Jason's voice. Tim looked at the man in front of him surprised as he looked at the scars on the muscular fake brother. Time then stammered as he took in this man's scars which he had plenty of but taking a closer look they weren't Jason's either. "I- um sorry. I thought you were my brother-" The man just laughed warmly and smiled which was so unnerving from a face that looked almost identical to his brothers. "It's fine man, don't worry about it" Tim put a tracker on him just in case.
That night in the group chat.
Dick: (sends photo of Jason smiling) HE'S SMILING :DDDD
Tim: Is the world ending????
Bruce: (saving the photo of his smiling son)
Jason: THAT'S NOT FUCKING ME. I was in Crime Alley all day but that's creepy.
Babs: Can confirm Jay was in the alley all day.
Bruce: (sad dad deleting photo of fake son)
Part 2
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pairing: wolf!toji fushiguro x reader summary: wolfhybrid!toji, grumpy x sunshine again, animalistic behavior, bickering rheya’s note: man i couldn’t stop thinking about guard dog toji so it turned into a hybrid au! i can’t see him as anything but a wolf/dog tbh. anyways i will def be writing more for this au hehe <33
you’ve been hearing noises.
it sounds strange, but you’re sure that there is something lurking in the normally deserted alleyway next to your apartment. at first you brushed it off as people traveling through, but now you've noticed the sounds are constant—every night.
you’re eating dinner when you hear the sounds of scuffling, followed by the yowl of a cat and realize you’re probably dealing with a stray looking for food.
so after you finish your meal, you put a bit of leftover fish in an old plate you seldom use, and take it outside. when you peer into the dark alley you don’t see any cat—it’s empty and quiet. you do notice a few scrapes on the walls and a couple of trash bins overturned, which means there definitely was some animal here.
maybe it’ll come back, you think as you bend down and place the plate on the pavement. with one last backward glance at the deserted alleyway, you head inside and go to bed.
a fond smile stretches across your face when you notice the empty plate as you’re leaving for work the next morning.
it becomes a daily routine after that. every night before you go to bed you go out and leave a little plate of fish for the poor cat. and every morning you’re met with a licked clean plate.
even though you never do see the cat, you do feel a strange combination of accomplishment and affection for the poor thing. and your little routine runs smoothly for a couple weeks—you have no complaints.
and then one night, when you’re going to drop off your little ration of the day, you see him. despite being hunched in a corner, he looms infinitely large—heavy shoulders and muscles straining as they fill with tension at your presence. his eyes are strangely bright, crystalline jade narrowed into slits as they appraise you, teeth bared in feral anger. they snap and snarl at you in warning, and you freeze almost immediately.
he’s terrifying—in a strangely gorgeous way.
dark furry ears are pointed up straight, twitching with the sound of your movements, and a warning growl bounces over the walls.
you raise your hands, ignoring the tremble, the instinct to run. “i just…” you keep your voice low, choosing to lightly shake the little plate you have in your hand. green eyes dart over—another snarl, a flick of a tail.
you slowly crouch and place the plate onto the ground, before backing away—you’re not trying to get attacked by a clearly feral hybrid.
he snarls and growls until you are well out of sight.
when you’re back in the safety of your apartment you almost laugh, heart pounding with disbelief. you thought you’d been feeding a stray cat—but no, it’s a hybrid. a big one, predatory in all aspects. you couldn’t see much in the dark lighting of the alley but the ears looked distinctly canine—with the addition of the teeth, claws, and tail, you’re almost sure he is some kind of dog or wolf or whatever.
dangerous for sure.
sensibly, you should probably stop feeding him so he doesn’t stick around. but stupidly, you can’t help it.
the next night you leave another plate. he’s not there this time, but you leave it just in case he’s lurking.
the following night his green eyes remain narrowed on your figure as you return—still snarling as he watches you.
you’re not fazed.
(tell that to your racing heart.)
over the course of the next few weeks, you repeat this process, not really sure what you’re expecting. you suppose you should be grateful that he doesn’t growl as much anymore, seemingly becoming accustomed to your routine presence. it becomes clockwork, so much so that you can always expect him to be sitting in the alley, ears flicking at the sounds of your footsteps.
the plate has now been saved for his little nightly meals, something you don’t necessarily mind. you notice that he is always clad in the same tattered clothing, a dark shirt that is far too loose even on his large body—it is littered with dirt and holes and you wish it was easier to offer some more comfortable items to him.
but you’ve only just gotten him to stop viewing you as a threat; you’ll take it slow.
you don’t notice that he gradually waits closer and closer to where he knows you leave the plate, the distance diminishing in a display of semi trust.
you think that this is all you’ll really get from him. which is fine—you’d rather he remain silent and alive than dead from starvation in your alleyway.
he surprises you one night.
“no more fish.”
you pause in your tracks, a few measly centimeters away from putting the plate on the ground. your eyes dart upward to see him already staring at you, jade slits narrowed. his tail flicks lazily in the shadows. your voice is breathless when you ask, “w-what?”
“fish,” he repeats. “no more of it.”
his voice is a low rumble, deep in richness and timbre despite its evidence of not being used in a while. you glance down at the plate in confusion—he had eaten it all for these few weeks?
he reaches for the plate, digging into the fish with practiced ease. you watch his canines dig into the flesh and tear away like it’s mere paper.
(should you be scared that the fish could also be your throat?)
“you uh—” you clear you throat, staring at him. “you don’t like fish?”
“i can survive off it,” he spits out in between bites—his pupils find yours. “but it’s not great.”
you don’t know why you’re so eager to make him happy. “then what would you like to eat?”
he quirks a brow at the enthusiasm, but answers gruffly. “meat. real meat.” he pauses to run his tongue over his lips, satiated—you can see a scar cutting over them. “like lamb. or beef. i don’t care really.”
“i can do that!” you’re seriously embarrassed at how keen you are, but the progress you’re making excites you. “i should’ve considered what you’d naturally like to eat. you’re a…?”
“wolf,” he grunts, still focused on his meal.
“right.” you nod, grateful to have confirmed the species. “makes sense you’d prefer real meat.”
he doesn’t answer. you don’t mind.
“then i’ll get you something different tomorrow.” you turn to leave. once again he doesn’t answer, but you can feel his eyes boring holes into your back.
you don’t tell the wolf hybrid that you stayed up researching his species just to figure out what he’d like. you just place the plate down the next night, hoping that it is enough to make him feel a little more comfortable with you.
(you’re sure he could kill you with just one bite, but you try not to think about that.)
the wolf watches you present the plate of lamb meat, some pieces cooked and some raw—his tail slowly thumps against the ground.
“i um…know that wolves like deer and stuff, but getting deer meat nearby is a little difficult. i can probably go find some places over the weekend,” you say hesitantly, watching his expression. he reaches a large palm out, claws tugging the plate closer, and digs in. you’re not sure about the taste, but you can see the rise in enthusiasm as he gobbles the meat down—a smile twitches at your lips.
“it’s fine,” he mumbles in return. “deer’s expensive. i like lamb and chicken. beef too.”
you nod, surprised at the consideration for the money you’re spending.
“do…do you prefer it raw or cooked?” you wait for him to click his tongue or indicate he’s getting annoyed by your presence, but he’s feeling forthcoming tonight.
“either’s fine.” he licks up the pinkish liquid that has dripped down his chin while biting into the raw pieces. “i’m used to raw meat.”
you nod, slowly taking a seat on the pavement. his eyes flicker up to watch what you’re doing, but he doesn’t protest. he just picks up another piece of lamb and takes a bite.
“you cook this?” he grunts, waving one of the cooked pieces. you grimace, nodding sheepishly.
“yeah. i wasn't sure if you'd like raw meat or cooked so i brought both. i can just bring raw pieces from now on.”
he peers at the cooked meat in between his claws, before shaking his head gruffly. “it’s pretty good.”
“the cooked meat?” you ask in surprise. he nods.
“yeah. tastes good.”
you can’t help the grin that stretches across your face.
“the fuck are you smilin’ about?” he narrows his eyes at you, ears pointing upright. you drop the smile hastily, shaking your head with a start.
“nothing!”
he snorts, continuing to eat. you watch him do so, strangely content. he doesn’t comment on how you’re seemingly inspecting him, eyes unblinking. he keeps his mouth shut because the taste of meat is heavy on his tongue, and at this point you’re a godsend to an animal like him.
so if you want to observe him like he’s in a fucking zoo, he’s fine with that.
you do have horrible survival instincts though. he wonders why on earth you seem so comfortable around a predator like him, especially a species that is so known to be violent. you’re just sitting there, a mere five feet away, watching him tear into raw meat with stars in your eyes.
(he could tear you apart in a second if he wanted to.)
he doesn’t leave a morsel on the plate, and you give him that same silly smile again.
“i have a little bit more cooked lamb leftover if you want?” you question him, and his eyes lazily roam over you. he thinks about telling you that he could devour meat for much longer if the supply was endless, but instead he huffs.
“did you eat?”
you blink. “me?”
“yeah you,” he replies harshly, rolling his eyes. “did you eat?”
you awkwardly scratch at your arm. “not yet. i was gonna eat some instant noodles later.”
“why the fuck are you worried about a stray like me then?” he snarls, crossing his arms—you’re so fucking naive. “go eat the cooked lamb and worry about yourself, for fuck’s sake.”
while his harsh tone would’ve definitely scared you on day one, this time, you feel more ticked off than afraid.
“i’m a grown ass adult. don’t tell me what to do. if i wanna worry about the noisy stray in my alleyway, i’ll do that,” you shoot back indignantly, mirroring his crossed arms.
the wolf’s demeanor changes, hackles rising. his ears go erect, straight and tense with frustration. he bares his teeth at you, a warning growl coming through them. “lot of talk for someone so damn tiny,” he barks. “don’t you have any self preservation instincts? i could just fucking eat you instead.”
you go a little slack jawed at that, a flicker of hesitation, but then you retort. “maybe, but i bet humans don’t taste as good as lamb or deer!”
“i’ll make do,” he growls back, canines pulling into an evil smirk.
your bravado dies down, and then he has to deal with the disturbingly wounded pout on your face. you don’t say anything more and he sighs heavily.
“i’ll eat more if you eat,” he grunts, glaring at the pavement. even then, he can feel the way you perk up.
“i’ll be right back!” you grab his plate and hurry into your apartment, eager, and all he can do is sigh, wondering what on earth he’s doing interacting with a fragile little human like you.
you come back with more cooked lamb in his designated plate, placing it in front of him before taking a seat on the floor again. he watches you stab at the pieces with a fork and chew on them, so dainty compared to the way his canines dig into his own share.
he can feel the curiosity thrumming through your veins, no doubt burning with questions—the need to talk to him. but you stay quiet as you eat, the sounds of chewing echoing through the alley. he concedes.
“you make it a habit to feed strays?” he mutters. you look up, once again sporting that silly look of surprise at his attention, but you recover quickly.
“no not really. you were just…really loud.” you sheepishly grin when he pins you with a glare, raising your hands innocently. “i just heard a lot of rattling around out here. i thought you were a stray cat.”
he takes offense to that.
“i ain’t no damn cat,” he scoffs, rolling his eyes as he bites into the flesh of another piece. your grin widens.
“clearly.”
the rest of the short meal passes in silence. he finishes up before you do, and for the first time you see him stand to his full height—he’s tall and hulking.
“well,” he grunts, shoving his clawed hands into his dirty pockets. “y’should go inside and finish that.”
he nods at your bowl before turning away. you briefly wonder where he sleeps; perhaps the park nearby so that he can rest on soft grass rather than cold stone. the thought makes you pity him more than you did.
his retreating form suddenly pauses, and he turns to stare over his shoulder—his jade eyes glow in the darkness. “see y’tomorrow.”
a wide smile stretches across your face, and you wave back, giddy. “sure! see you tomorrow…” your voice trails off at the end. the wolf rolls his eyes heavily, before turning around and continuing his walk.
“toji.” he finishes for you, voice low and yet still clear.
you bite back a laugh of disbelief. “toji,” you repeat, and it rolls off your tongue like butter. his ears twitch at the sound, surprisingly pleasant, and he grumbles in return, vanishing into the night.
he ends up keeping his promise.
#toji fushiguro x reader#toji x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#toji x you#jujutsu kaisen drabbles#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jjk fluff#jjk angst#toji fluff#toji angst#fushiguro toji x reader#zenin toji x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#toji x y/n#toji fushiguro#toji fushiguro fluff#toji fushiguro angst#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jujutsu kaisen angst#toji drabbles#fushiguro toji#jjk hybrid au#wolf hybrid toji#hybrid toji
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DOCTORS ACROSS THE HALL
Spencer Reid x psychiatrist!reader
Synopsis: Sleep-deprived and traumatized, Spencer Reid attempts to pin the blame on his innocent new neighbor (he can't). Word Count: 2k+ Warning: meet cute-ish(?) fluff(?) i'm not sure anymore, lol. light mentions of death and trauma. a few curses. not proofread !!!! A/N: inspired by S2 x E14 & 15, we all know what i mean hehe
Spencer Reid's eyes are dry.
Each blink is a terrifying journey. Afraid that he'll go back in the past—in that hut—in between the millisecond of closing his eyes.
He's seeing nothing but blurry darkness, and yet he can still feel Tobias Hankel's shaky palms across the skin of his arm.
"It helps."
"Trust me."
The same four words ring in Spencer's ears, encouraging pain—paranoia.
"It helps."
"Trust me."
With every breath Spencer takes, they hitch in the middle of his throat. Forever stuck and dies there with no trace of hope for the next generation of traveling air.
Hope that he'll be able to breathe without tugging aches all over his chest is long gone.
No man would ever be the same had they been in the situation he went through. He can't help but feel weak. And it's eating Spencer alive to the point of deliberate insomnia.
He doesn't remember the last time he'd ever slept like a normal person.
"It helps."
Knock, knock.
"Trust me."
Knock, knock, knock.
Spencer opens his eyes. He's not sure when slumber took over his mind or if he even participated in sleep at all. Chances are he was too dissociated from reality that he's left his body frozen for a while. Nonetheless, in the little time he spent in serene blankness, only one emotion brews in him.
Anger.
Who in their right minds would go out knocking at—Spencer glances at the clock on his nightstand—2 AM?
Knock, knock, KNOCK—
It stops.
A creak echoes in the hall as muffled voices scratch Spencer's ears. He can't make out the words, only the wave of the softest and gentlest whispers he's ever heard.
On a different day, he may have let it go. Hell, a different him would have let it go.
The Spencer from one week ago would have let it go.
The Spencer who never felt so nauseous at the sight of his own blood along the canvas of his temple. The Spencer with an awkward grin without the baggage of Tobias Hankel's torture over his shoulders.
The Spencer he used to be.
But despite everyone's loving support. Despite the bragging rights he gained for surviving a serial killer. No one can loosen the throttling chokehold of trauma around his neck. Not even him.
Spencer catches himself clenching his fists too tight. Crescent indentations sting on his palm—nostalgic and unsettling. He only grits his jaw at the thought. And comes in the invigorating vibrations all over his chest.
There it is again.
The useless anger.
A loaded gun with no target.
The man is dead. Tobias Hankel is dead.
Spencer wonders about the use of his boiling anger when the person he loathes is already rotting in his grave.
Without any other outlet to unleash the colossal mass of suppressed rage brewing inside of him, Spencer makes good use of one of the most common defense mechanisms: displacement.
Maybe screaming at someone will deflate the tightness across his chest and clear his mind a bit in the form of self-loathing after he realizes the grave immaturity of his plan.
He lifts his body off his mattress, swinging his legs on the side of his bed as he methodically rubs his eyes against the lamp's brightness. Strands of his hair go array around the vertical circumference of his head like an electric halo.
A huff pulses off his lips. He swallows a lump of thick air as he weighs his next moves.
Part of Spencer died in that cemetery. What difference does it make if he screams at the world? If he screams at—
His brows furrow, eyes narrow, and ears perk.
It's different this time.
Irritating knocks. Opening door. Muffled whispering. Closing door. Then quiet for an hour.
That has been a constant for the past five days. A constant routine that he felt indifferent about but somehow grew annoyed by.
But it's different this time.
The door across the hall didn't close.
And it's been five minutes.
Before Spencer knows it, his hand turns the knob and swings the door open.
Two women across from him. They are in the middle of what seems to be a tight hug before one bids her goodbye and lightly runs down the stairs.
Spencer watches as the other disappears down the lower level. Anger morphs into confusion.
"Did we bother you?"
He jolts back, snapping his gaze to the woman across. "What?"
You smile apologetically, "I'm sorry about the noise—"
"Dr. Spencer Reid," He spits. Spencer's forehead creases. He wonders what prompted his mouth to openly provide his full name to a stranger, specifically when the information was not asked for.
"Oh," You blink, lightly jumping on your toes. An unseen glint sparks in your eyes. You introduce yourself as a response, a lot less threatening than he did but equally awkward. You smile again. Sweetly, this time. Like you're looking at a puppy.
Spencer's brows bounce over his forehead as the hand over his doorknob loosens. "You're a doctor?" He inquires.
You nod, "Mhm, what are the odds, right?" You chuckle. The sound echoes around the quiet hall.
"11.76%."
"What?"
"The odds—" Spencer scratches the back of his neck, "—it's 11.76%. There are fourteen tenants in this building, including you. We both found out we're doctors, and I know none of our neighbors are. Most of the neighbors are living alone besides the old couple on the first floor, but I know none of them are doctors. That's two in fifteen people. So 11.76%. But now I realize you weren't being literal about it..." Heat rushes against the skin of his face.
Silence hovers between the two of you. He feels more awake than he was minutes ago for an entirely different reason—embarrassment. Spencer wishes that some sort of earthquake would open up the floor and swallow him.
"Interesting," You finally speak, changing the leg where you placed your weight. "I tried calculating it myself and got the same result. You were right."
His mouth falls agape. A surge of warmth strikes his chest. "You were calculating?" Spencer squints, rubbing an eye out of habit due to his current predicament and baffled by your antic all the same.
You nod again, "Just cause you're my neighbor doesn't mean I'll just take your word for it, you know. But I have to admit, it was cool that you figured that out in a second. You have my respect." You flash a playful smile, hugging your chest at the sudden draft.
"Ahh," Spencer steps back into his apartment. The tinge of giddiness is quickly replaced by sleep deprivation and anxiety. A hand throws itself into the cavity of his eye socket, pushing it close to remove the pain that's settling in.
Flashes of bright light blind him in the dark shade of his eyelids. Frustration swiftly creeps over his shoulders. Like he's drowning above water, tied down, and has no air to gasp for. Panic begins to paralyze him. All seems lost, and darkness slowly—
"Would you like some tea?"
Spencer blinks, lifting his gaze back at you as your soft smile slowly adjusts his sight.
"I have a new brand of tea I've been dying to open. Would you like some?" You repeat, tilting your head a bit as you await a response. When you don't get one, you add, "I promise I don't bite." And your heart flutters at the little twitch at the ends of his lips.
He concludes you're roughly two weeks fresh from moving in. Here you are, inviting a stranger in the middle of the night to enjoy tea inside your home.
Seems reckless.
Idiotic.
But Spencer doesn't say no.
He walks towards you like he's leaving a world to explore another. Anxiety slowly dissipates with each step he takes. A contrast of what he feels each second that passes while he lies awake.
You step aside to give him way. "Grab a seat—" you gesture towards the kitchen -island-slash-dining-table, "—The girl you saw usually stays longer, so I already heat some water. Is chamomile okay?" You talk as you maneuver around your small kitchen.
Spencer finds a seat closest to the door. For all he knows, you're the serial killer on your end of the skeptical assumptions in his head.
"Nice apartment," He says out of the obligatory guest etiquette. Spencer takes in every bit of your reflection in your home.
It's inviting. Warm and cozy. The hint of oat and lavender whiffs past his nose. Your place is adorned with small, warm lights, brightening each corner with sunset tones.
Your chuckle brings his attention back to you. "Don't be shy, Dr. Reid," You glance at him over your shoulder. "It's messy. You can say it."
"If a couple of books on your table is messy to you, you should see my side of the building."
Spencer straightens up as confusion spreads over his face.
How do you do that?
Make him feel comfortable with words and a gentle voice. Everyone on his team has been doing the same exact thing, but somehow, you get something out of him without further prompting.
The image of your coffee table pops in his head. Cultural Psychology. Learning Psychotherapy. Trauma and Dreams. And a few more books that clocks his interest in you further down the rabbit hole.
"You're a psychologist," He announces into the air.
"Psychiatrist, actually," You place a mug in front of Spencer, finding a seat across from him. "But what gave it away? The tea or the messy apartment?" You ask into your mug that says 'you're purrfect' in pink lowercase and has a cat’s paw under the lettering. A playful smile is curving your lips.
Spencer accepts the blue mug, brows rising at the police box outlined image over the blue stain. He wouldn’t have expected you as a fan of Doctor Who, but who’s he to judge? A part of him wants to discuss common interests, but he doesn’t feel comfortable enough to change the subject.
"T-the books." He says hesitantly, uncertain whether the art of observation has marked him a creep right at that moment.
You hum, "Thought I would've been more mysterious than that." You chuckle, pulling a leg against your chest. "And you?" You inquire back.
"I have three PhDs," Spencer shares shyly, breaking eye contact masked as drinking your quite tasteful tea. He notes to ask the brand you're so enthusiastic about later on.
"Three?" Your eyes glisten under the warm light.
He nods.
"Let me guess, 190."
"190?"
"Your IQ," You lean back against the table, "My guess is you graduated young. Went to high school, college, and graduate school as a puppy." You add, amping with adoration over the new information.
"A puppy is a strong word, but yes," Spencer blushes now, hoping the small lighting leans in his favor to hide the red tint over every bit of his skin. “And just 187, not that big of a deal.”
"Just 187? You're just being humble, right?" You giggle, "I bet some prestigious agency hired you at a young age, and you're called the genius kid." You jest, genuinely interested in him more than ever.
More like the boy genius. But can’t possibly expose himself more than you already did out of sheer lucky guesses. Spencer avoids meeting your eyes like it's the plague. "You awfully guess a lot..."
You gasp, placing your mug on the table, "Shut up! I was close, was I? Oh my gosh!" You're laughing now, utterly comfortable to show quirks that people you just met shouldn't see yet. "I'm good at this. I think I'll be okay later, then." You say to yourself, nodding in satisfaction.
"For what?" Spencer chimes, troubles slipping away to the back of his mind and the sound of your hush laughter lulling him. It might be the tea or the possibility that you'd drugged him, but his body felt light for the first time in weeks. He doesn't have any complaints.
"I moved here for a job," You start attentively, making sure that you don't share too much. "But I have people. They'll search for me in case you turn out to be a serial killer."
His brows jump, "How do I know you're not the serial killer? Women can be one, too. And statistically, women who are serial killers are attractive."
"Are you saying I'm attractive, Dr. Reid?"
"I—" Spencer freezes, heat flowing to his ears. "I-I was making a point—" He cuts himself off. He wonders when the earthquake he's wished for earlier is coming to save him from embarrassment.
You stay silent, reveling in his stuttering voice.
"Is that coffee? I thought you made tea." He changes the subject—poorly.
You don't mind it one bit, indulging at the sight of his pinkish ears covered by his unruly hair. "I invited you for tea. I didn't say I'll drink one with you." You take a sip of the caffeine, rubbing the idea on his face.
Spencer responds with a subtle roll of his eyes that makes you chuckle more than intended. "Why coffee at three in the morning?" He asks gently, not wanting to step over any boundaries.
"I'm supposed to start my job later. I heard my patients need a lot of assistance, so I need to study and make sure I give them the right help."
"That sounds noble," He yawns, the first of many.
Spencer never thought your smile could get any sweeter, "I haven't officially met them yet. So, I really wish it goes well."
It might be the chamomile tea with a hint of honey finally working in his veins, but Spencer thinks you're beaming like an angel descending from the skies.
He yawns, and you giggle once more, "I think you should go to sleep, Dr. Reid."
“Yeah, yeah, I should,” Spencer’s eyebrows collide at the sadness in his chest. His body feels comfortable in his seat. Getting out of it feels like torture.
You both stand from your seats, walking him towards the door.
Spencer turns around before he closes his, a sleepy smile on his face. "Thanks for the tea," He yawns, a hand covering his mouth.
“You’re— hold on, give me one second,” You turn around and back inside your apartment. He can’t see you but can hear your light footsteps on the floorboards as you run to your coffee table and back inside the frame of your front door.
Spencer patiently waits as you walk to his end of the hall, take his hand out, and hand him a heart lollipop.
“Take this. They help with the bad craving,” You advertise as you walk backward. Before he completely shuts the door, you call for him, "Oh, and Dr. Reid."
Spencer swings the door open back wider, "Yes?"
"I think you're attractive too."
reid masterlist | masterlist
#ker's fics#spencer reid#dr spencer reid#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x fem!reader#x fem!reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x reader#ssa spencer reid#x psychiatrist reader#spencerreid
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Hey girl, I LOVED YOUR HEADCANONS. Specifically abt Ken x Reader. If you can write about headcanons abt maybe when he's jealous? You covered literally almost everything in your headcanons, so I have nothing to request except this 😭
❥﹒kenji sato x gender neutral reader
✦. synopsis — part 2 of the kenji sato headcanons because i am totally normal <3
✦. love mail — i swear i promise ill post hsr guys 😞 just let me have my moment w sato i beg. i’ve decided to just do this req + add some more hehe. thank you sm requester for enabling my brain rot! (pls more ppl do so)
✦. tags — NO SPOILERS, fluff, dadgirl kenji, non-intimate/sexual kissing, kenji sato x reader, i wrote this w my brain off again ( ´͈ ᗨ `͈ ;; pls
Jealousy was not fun for the Kenji Sato. Before Emi came along and changed him, I can see him being the type to get jealous easily. Why would you need to talk to other people anyway? You had him, he was the best. He’d make it real obvious too, suddenly wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you close, or the following days he has you wear his iconic jacket while you’re out with him so everyone knows exactly who and what you two are. If it gets to the better of him, he’ll get all pouty about it. He wants all your attention, your eyes all over him and him only. Maybe even hands but that’s a different thing. But I think after Emi’s influence, it’s less possessive and he’s grown to trust you with others instead of letting his feelings get in the way. Of course he’s not immune to jealousy, but you notice it a lot less. It’s less suffocating for you and you’re grateful he’s grown. You did love the pouty face he’d make though, it was cute.
Now if you were jealous, which is really no surprise.. Kenji had thousands of admirers, he had gifts on his doorstep like every other day. He’ll do everything to prove and reassure you that you’re the only one who has his heart. He’ll post you on his social media, take you out on dates, all those things to wash your worries away. Lastly, he’ll hold you in his arms at night and whisper everything he loves about you. Everything you were silently insecure about, he loved. Every date you thought he forgot, he remembered. And to meet a guy like that? How lucky can you be? (He tells you he’s luckier of course. <3)
I think he’s a messy kisser for the most part 🧐. (Forgive me in advance for this part. I am not very good at these things.) When he can take his time, he’s slow and gentle. Genuinely just trying to show you that yeah, he loves you, so damn much. And he’s going to show that through his passion by taking things slow so you can really feel his devotion. Other times, because he’s always in a rush, he’ll do a messy but clearly desperate kiss. He doesn’t like leaving without one, and you can describe him kissing you like it’s his last, (because it’s really not a far-fetched guess considering his line of work) his hand behind your head and pressing your lips against his in an almost ravenous manner. He does give you a very quick kiss on the forehead and runs off after finishing, leaving you a little dazed.
He LOVES to take you out on night rides. If ever you get a little nervous/have a fear of motorcycles, he’ll talk you all the way through via the cardo he put into your helmet. He’ll take you to some nice cafes or restaurants around Tokyo, other time’s he’ll bring you to some favourite childhood spot of his. When you arrive, he’ll tell you about his mother and the memories he’s made in this very special spot. It warms your heart to see his expression be so fond when he talks about his childhood – he truly misses it.
Before you knew of Kenji’s identity, I think it would be funny if you hated Ultraman. You just LOATHED the guy, Kenji asked your thoughts on Ultraman on the first date and you went on a rant about how he threw your car at a Kaiju only to miss. (He felt so embarrassed). It would be funnier if afterwards, he began to actually do his job as Ultraman properly.. and avoided cars on your street and avenue. He wanted to make sure you didn’t utterly hate Ultraman before revealing that he was him.
It would be cute if you and him knew each other like, much earlier. And you called him Ken. And then he made that his alias while he was becoming an All-Star baseball player. :) He’ll brag about it all the time in interviews too, that you’re the reason he uses it. <3
He’s the typa guy to have a picture of you in his room, behind his phone case, in his wallet, in his car and literally anywhere he can get his hands on. He bought a polaroid camera just to take pictures of you, he could care less about the price of film or the camera itself.. he just wanted to have as many pictures of you as possible. He’ll brag about it to his baseball teammates too, considering he also keeps one in his pockets for good luck. :)
You're his goodluck charm. <3
#♡ — 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆#kenji sato x reader#ken sato x reader#ken sato#kenji sato#ultraman rising x reader#ultraman rising
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