#having a 'should have listened to my mom' moment and NOT liking it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Symbol of Love— Rafe Cameron x Pogue!Reader
summary— based off sofia and rafe’s cute moment in s4 ep 9 so slight spoilers. rafe is on mission to catch groff and he gives you something to treasure before he leaves.
warnings— spoilers, fluff, mentions of death.
a/n— saw the scene and immediately decided to write this, my heart is melting omg ugh that should be me and him. these new batch of episodes have been such a roller coaster, can’t wait to finish and see how everything plays out <3
Rafe’s hands were tense as walked around the sand, jaw tight as he tried to process what he’d just learned. Chandler Groff had stolen his money, and he boated off the island. You leaned against the tree, eyes wide as you tried to absorb the news. Hollis’ death had hit you harder than you let on, and whispers were circulating that JJ Maybank might have been involved. Nothing felt certain anymore, but what you did know was that Rafe had always been the one constant—until now.
“Okay, but listen,” Rafe said, his voice sharp and urgent. “Unless I catch up with Groff now, that money is long gone.”
“Where is he, Rafe?” you asked, your heart pounding. You didn’t want him to go, especially not alone, but you knew you couldn’t stop him.
“Don’t worry about it,” he muttered, his gaze fixed somewhere past you. “I’ll track him down. I’ll get it all back.” There was a steely resolve in his voice, a familiar determination that reminded you of just how far he would go to keep what was his.
But before he could take off, he turned to you, his eyes softening just and took a deep breath. “I want to say something first.”
You opened your mouth, the confession about Hollis and everything that happened burning on your tongue. “Rafe, I- I need to tell you something too.”
Before you could finish, he startled you by dropping to one knee, pulling out a beautiful ring from his pocket. Your heart skipped a beat, and suddenly you felt like the world was spinning.
He held it up to you, his gaze never leaving yours. “It was my mom’s,” he said softly, his voice breaking just slightly. “Been in my family forever. I know it’s some kook bullshit, but I just- I wanted you to have it before I left. So you’d know this, us- we’re real.”
“Rafe, wait,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “I- I did something. It’s about Hollis. There’s more I didn’t tell you—”
He cut you off, shaking his head and cupping your cheek, his thumb brushing your skin. “Don’t. There’s things about me you don’t know. And trust me, they’re way worse than anything you could say. I don’t care what you did, and I don’t care to know.” His voice softened, but his eyes stayed intense. “I want you, and that’s all that matters to me.”
You could barely breathe, tears leaving your eyes and he slipped the ring on your finger, his eyes pleading.
You were crying now, overwhelmed by the depth of his acceptance. You could feel his hands tremble as he slid the ring onto your finger. “Say yes,” he murmured, his voice rough with emotion. “There’s no more pogue bullshit, okay? No more of that. I want you to quit that job and move in with me.”
The weight of his words settled over you like a promise, and you nodded, barely able to find your voice. “Yes, Rafe.”
He smiled, relief flooding his face as he pulled you into a kiss, his hands cradling your face as if you were something fragile he had to hold onto. You kissed him back, fingers curling into his jacket, your tears mixing with his warmth.
When you pulled away, he pressed a key into your palm, closing your fingers over it. “It’s to the house. I’ll be back in a few weeks. Stay there for me, okay? At my—no, our place.”
He brushed a kiss across your forehead, and whispered, “I love you.”
“I love you too.” And with one last look, he turned, walking toward his boat as you watched him go.
The salty breeze whipped around you, and you looked down at the ring, feeling a bittersweet ache settle in your chest. It was beautiful and strange, the symbol of a life you were about to share with him, a life you’d always dreamed of. You traced the ring with your thumb, marveling at its age, its history, a part of him that would stay with you even as he left.
Tears blurred your vision as he boarded the boat, but you stood there, rooted, until he was nothing but a speck on the horizon, clutching the key and the promise he’d left behind.
As you watched Rafe disappear over the horizon, a wave of fear washed over you, heavier than the ocean air around you. You knew how dangerous Groff could be, how far he was willing to go to keep what he’d stolen. And now, Rafe was chasing him down. Your heart twisted, the thought of something happening to him tugging at every corner of your mind. But then you shook yourself, forcing the doubt back. Rafe was tough, stronger than anyone you knew. He could handle himself. He’d be okay.
He’d come back.
You took a deep breath, letting the thought settle over you like a warm blanket. He’d come back, and when he did, you’d spend the rest of your lives together. There would be reward, there would be sunshine after the storm. Your love, this wild, all-consuming love, could survive anything. It had to. Everything was going to be okay.
You glanced down at the ring he’d placed on your finger, feeling its weight, its history pressing against your skin like a quiet promise. Your fingers tightened around the key in your other hand, holding onto it as if it could anchor you to this moment, to him. This key was a piece of him, a piece of your future together, the home you’d share, the life you’d build once he returned.
With one last look out at the horizon, you whispered a silent promise of your own. Then you turned back holding the ring and the key close to your heart, holding onto the hope that soon, he’d be back in your arms.
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x black reader#rafe cameron fluff#rafe cameron x fem!reader#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x pogue!reader#rafe cameron x black!reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron drabble#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron concepts#rafe cameron one shot#outer banks 4#outer banks season 4#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks fluff#rafe outer banks#outer banks s4#outer banks spoilers#outer banks#outer banks smut#rafe fanfiction#rafe imagine#rafe x reader#outerbanks rafe
377 notes
·
View notes
Text
♡︎ part8. a complete silence rule
MINORS DNI!
・❥・pairing: vi (arcane) x fem!reader
・❥・ summary: you and Vi came to library for studying, but she can`t resist touching you
・❥・ genre: smut + kinda friends to lovers
・❥・ word count: 1.9k
✎ warnings: 18+, smut, dom!vi, oral sex, fingering, sex in public place
WHEN I NEEDED YOU masterlist
a week after Vi was discharged from the hospital, she returned to college. she wasn’t allowed to play yet, but she didn’t miss a single practice, even if it just meant warming up with the others and then sitting on the bench to watch. she recovered quickly, but if you hadn’t insisted, she would’ve tried to play on the first day back. the doctor had strictly forbidden it, and you made sure to keep an eye on her. though Vi was eager to return to her normal pace, full recovery required time, as the risks were still too high.
another bit of good news - Troy was no longer on the team or even at college. you saw him clearing out his locker as his parents and security escorted him away. when you asked your dad if he knew anything about it, he simply kissed your forehead and told you not to worry. either way, you didn’t mind; whatever your father had done, it had worked. truth be told, it even scared you a little, but Troy got what he deserved. naturally, all accusations were dropped, and your mom mentioned in confidence that your father had threatened Troy’s family, saying you’d press charges for assault and all the vile things their son had done. it was a relief to finally exhale; for a moment, it even felt like the air without your ex was lighter.
without Troy’s bullying, Josh finally left the team, free from the person who’d tormented him for years. he seemed to have started playing guitar in his garage. but the biggest surprise was that he’d found a partner. according to Trish, they met at the last match and hit it off, though homophobic Troy had always intimidated Josh, and for good reason. long story short, many people in his social circle felt better without him, and you were glad it was over.
after classes, you met Vi in the parking lot. she kissed you on the lips and wrapped her arms around your waist, letting her hands slide lower. smiling mid-kiss, she murmured, “maybe I should transfer to another school”
“and why’s that?” you teased, slipping your hands under her shirt, pushing her jacket aside, and pulling her closer, which made Vi bite your lip.
“I can’t focus on school or anything serious when you walk around looking so gorgeous and tempting,” she said, squeezing your hips and leaning you against the hood of her car.
“I can’t stand my loneliness, especially when you two are kissing so sweetly out here for all to see,” interrupted a voice. it was Trish, standing behind you with her arms crossed. “just a reminder, Vi, that I was the one who first told your new girlfriend how beautiful you are, so both of you owe me”
finally, you and Vi let go of each other and laughed. Vi took your hand and said, “and I’ll be forever grateful to you for it”
“ready to go?” you asked Trish, who was still grinning as she watched the two of you.
“I came to say I won’t be able to make it today. mom’s not feeling well, and I want to stay with her. do you mind if we reschedule for tomorrow?” Trish said, looking a little apologetic.
“of course, no problem at all. send her my best and wish her a speedy recovery. if she’d like, I can bring over some of my mom’s special soup; it’s really delicious,” you replied understandingly.
“that would be wonderful. thank you, I’ll text you about tomorrow” Trish gave you a quick hug goodbye before hurrying home.
“where were you two going, and what’s been rescheduled for tomorrow?” Vi asked, curious.
“the library. we have a history test coming up, and Trish and I often go there to focus. there’s a total silence rule, so we can’t gossip or listen to music. it sounds odd, but we get distracted so easily that the library’s our only hope,” you explained.
“want me to go with you?” she looked into your eyes. “unless this is some kind of special friend ritual?”
“no, no, nothing like that, but are you sure you want to sit quietly for an hour with a history book?” you raised an eyebrow at her.
“yes, especially since I have the test too. I’m not playing right now, so the coach won’t be able to get me extra credit for athletic involvement,” Vi said a little sadly, clearly missing her usual active lifestyle. but you weren’t giving in - the doctor’s orders were law, especially for Vi, and she deserved the best care.
“alright, then, let’s go,” you decided to steer the topic away from sports to take her mind off it.
“why an hour, though?” Vi asked, referring to what you had mentioned earlier.
“well, it’s not strict or anything, just a rule Trish and I came up with: an hour of uninterrupted studying, then any break or distraction we want. it’s like a little motivation,” you shrugged with a smile.
“if it’s the rule, then let’s follow it,” Vi said as she opened the passenger door for you and got behind the wheel.
ten minutes later, you arrived. there weren’t many people there, so you took your and Trish’s usual seats near the bookshelves. as you’d told Vi, there was complete silence, only occasionally broken by the sound of turning pages. Vi sat next to you, taking off her jacket and hanging it on the back of the chair. when she turned back, she caught you staring at her hands, biting your lip, which made her smile and raise an eyebrow. you felt a bit embarrassed, but it wasn’t surprising - you never focused on Trish this way, yet with Vi nearby, you realized it might be a little harder to concentrate.
you quickly looked away, pulling out a sheet with the test questions. each question had a list of recommended books to review. pointing out a few titles to Vi, you both set off to find them. the history section had plenty of books, so it took a little time to gather what you needed.
Vi leaned over to you and very quietly asked where she should find a particular book, you pointed to the bottom shelf, and she nodded. running your eyes over the stand with books, you saw that a little higher is hidden a book, the author of which is your teacher, usually it is occupied by someone, but today was a good day. when you reached for her, Vi looked up and was very pleased with what she saw. the length of your skirt gave a good view of your underwear, which made Vi feel incredible desire and attraction. she carefully stood up and slowly ran her hand down your leg from your ankle to your thigh until her fingers were under your skirt. you almost didn't let go of the book from your surprise, your eyes became round and goosebumps ran through your body, you wanted to say something, but Vi only put her index finger to her lips. she took the book and placed it on the shelf, leaving her other hand on your butt, glancing over at you, she smiled at you, desire burning in her eyes, you felt incredibly attracted to her, so you moved a little closer. her lips covered yours, you tasted her as her warm tongue slipped between yours, Vi pulled you closer to you, squeezing your butt tighter, her other hand ending up under your shirt, her thumb gently caressing your skin as her lips kissed you.
she pulled away from you and leaned into your ear, saying “the rule of complete silence, remember?”. her fingers ran up the fabric of your panties under your skirt and she ran her hand down touching you. she smirked when she felt how wet you were, running a finger over your clit you rested your head on her shoulder holding back a moan. every movement seems very slow and you wanted more, you could feel the vibrations going through your body when her finger started stimulating your clit more actively, you held on to her with your hands so you wouldn't fall. she covered you with her lips again and you felt her finger enter you, a wave of pleasure covered your body, you immediately started to move on it, kissing her more passionately, your hips moving and your body getting heavier. she wasn't about to stop, her finger digging into you harder and harder as you struggled to hold back a scream. only the rustle of the books reminded you where you were now, you almost didn't care, you could feel your wetness running on her finger, you were so wet and excited that you didn't care if they could hear you now, you wanted her touch, you wanted to cum from her fingers, you wanted to show her what pleasure she brings you. when her second finger was inside you tightened your grip on her, and Vi sped up as much as possible, your legs were just shaking at this point. Vi's other hand pulled your bra down and squeezed your breasts, you threw your head back and surrendered to the feeling, you came so hard it made your head spin. holding you, she pulled her hand out of your panties and pressed you against the bookshelf, kissing you again. her lips moved to your neck and trailed down.
“what are you doing?” you said almost inaudibly in surprise.
Vi just looked up at you and answered “you said we had an hour”
goosebumps ran down your spine and she returned to your neck again, kneeling, Vi placed your leg over her shoulder and lifted your skirt, putting her index finger to her lips again to keep you quiet.
her fingers gently pulled your panties to the side, and she ran her tongue over your pussy, collecting a mess you had done earlier. your body was so heavy that you grabbed the shelf with one hand to keep from falling. her lips pressed against your wetness, she didn't tease like before, her tongue was immediately inside you, you opened your mouth again in a silent moan and ran a hand into her hair. Vi's hands wrapped around your ass, and she ate you out greedily as you held back a moan. she was sucking your clit and running her tongue which was giving you incredible pleasure, you were moving your hips to ride her face as she explored your most intimate place. the second orgasm didn't take long, you came from her tongue even faster than from her fingers. you didn't have any strength left, but how nice it was. she put your panties back in place and climbed on top of you.
“I see you liked it,” she said teasingly. you just bit your lip and nodded, straightening your skirt.
“maybe next time I can sit on your face properly” you winked at Vi and ran your finger over her lips which were still wet from you.
“no reason to wait, you can still stand so…” Vi smiled and took your things and led you by the hand out of the library to the questioning looks of the others.
#vi arcane#vi#vi from arcane#vi fanfic#vi arcane x reader#vi x reader#vi smut#ride on me#vi arcane smut#vi arcane x reader smut
68 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Path To Healing
Pairing: Azriel x f!reader
Summary: A glimpse into different moments of Azriel's life: from his childhood trauma to the physical healing, from his struggles and his acceptance to the beginning of his mental healing journey.
Warnings: angst, self-hate, self-consciousness, violence and blood, mentions of torture, language, fingering (brief)
Word count: 8.9k
A/N: I might or might not have cried while writing some parts of this. I focused only on Azriel's hands, and I'm sure I only scratched the surface of what his trauma is. I'm nowhere close to an expert on any of this, but I tried my best and hopefully did it justice. @azrielappreciationweek
Pain was all he knew.
His eyes hurt from crying, and he desperately wanted to rub them, but he couldn't. He couldn't, because his hands… His hands…
More tears poured down his already puffed cheeks, and his cries turned into a choked sound—sobs that tore through his chest and shook his little body, his wings a dead weight on his back.
“Shh,” his mother murmured, her voice soothing, her touch gentle as she cupped his face. “It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay, baby.”
Azriel didn't know how to believe her. It seemed to him like nothing could ever be okay again. He couldn't feel his hands anymore—they had been replaced by a blinding pain that reached up to his elbows. All he could see when he looked down was a red splotch, too red to be normal.
When his father had heard his screams, he’d called the healers. By then, it was too late, and the damage was already done. But his father had merely given his half-brothers a disappointed look and dumped Azriel in his mother's care, as if he had become even more of a burden than before. He didn't know what he had done to deserve it.
His mom began to hum a lullaby, but Azriel could barely hear it over his sobs and whimpers. She took one of his shaking hands in hers as gently as she could, touching his marred skin when strictly necessary, but even that drew a shriek from him.
“I know, baby,” his mother whispered as she began wrapping his hand in new strips of clean fabric. “I know it hurts. But I need to bandage it so it can get better, okay?”
Azriel tried to hold back his cries of pain as she worked. He tried to focus on her face and the lullaby instead, but he kept praying through it all—to the Cauldron, to the Mother, to whoever was listening—that it would be over soon. Just like he had begged and prayed while his half-brothers had burned him, but no one had come then.
Now, though, his silent prayers were answered.
“There you go, my love,” his mom said softly, placing a kiss on his forehead. “All done. See? Does it hurt a bit less now?”
He looked down to find his hands covered in white linen. The tight bandages applied just enough pressure to reduce the pain, even if only by just a fraction. He met his mother's concerned gaze and nodded weakly, watching as the corner of her lips twitched upward. It didn't help much, though, and tears still streamed down his face.
“Come here,” she whispered, gathering his shaking body in her arms and holding him close to her chest. “My precious boy. You'll get through this, Az. I promise.”
Azriel buried his face in her neck and cried until he was too exhausted to do even that. But his mom never stopped singing him an old Illyrian lullaby, rocking him back and forth as if he were a newborn baby.
She kept going long after he fell asleep.
~~~~~~
Azriel was staring at his hands, at the ridges of his new scars. He knew he should be practicing, but he could only stare.
“What is it, sweetie?”
His mother came up beside him. His father had allowed her to see him a bit more over the last few months, not wanting to spend money on healers more than once every other week when they came to check on him and his progress.
Azriel turned his hands over, now looking at the backs of them. He still wasn’t used to seeing them like this. How much time had he spent looking at them? During those long hours in his cell with no light, he had thought about them endlessly.
Sometimes, he could swear the darkness whispered in his ear, soothing his mind until he finally fell asleep.
“They're ugly,” he said. His voice was flat, as if he was simply stating a fact. Because that's what they were to him—ugly, ruined, useless. Always shaking and itching.
His mother's soft hands enveloped his smaller ones in a gentle hold. “Look at me.”
He obeyed, meeting her tender, reassuring gaze. Even at his young age, he knew she loved him. His stepmother never looked at him like that, on the rare occasions she even bothered to acknowledge his existence.
“Your hands are not ugly, my child,” his mom assured him. Her tone was calm, but there was a new resolution etched onto her features. “They've just been through a lot.”
Azriel shook his head. “They're ugly,” he insisted. “No one else has hands that look like this. They're full of scars and cuts and…”
His voice trailed off as his mom extended her wings behind her. A twinge of pain crossed her face, and she could only unfold them a few inches, but it was enough for Azriel to see the twin long scars running down their length. He didn't know how she got them, but she once told him she couldn't fly because of them. He’d felt an odd sense of relief at that, knowing his mom couldn't fly either—that her blood, like his, urged her to take off and roam the skies, yet neither of them could.
“Do you think my wings are ugly, Az?” she asked. She still spoke with that soft tone, but it was now tinged with firmness.
Azriel immediately shook his head. “No,” he answered. “No, they're not ugly.”
“But they have scars. They're ruined and useless.” How had she known those were the words he used for his own hands? Had he said them out loud? “What are wings for, if not for flying? Yet I can't fly anymore.”
He shook his head again, more firmly this time. “Mom, no,” he said, decisive and unyielding. “Your wings are beautiful. You're beautiful.”
Her face softened, a smile blooming on her lips as she gently squeezed his hands. “Then your hands are beautiful too.” She lifted them to her lips, kissing each one. “Think of them not as reminders of pain, but of strength. You've suffered a lot, but you're stronger. You're healing. And one day, it won't even hurt anymore.”
Azriel was silent for a long moment. “Is it really like that?”
“Of course, baby,” she reassured him, leaning down to press a kiss to his hair.
He knew she was lying. He saw the pain on her face when she moved her wings. They still hurt sometimes. But he believed her anyway, because he needed to.
His mother let go of his hands and picked up the pen he had discarded just a few minutes ago. “Do you think you can practice a little longer?”
Azriel didn't want to. His fingers had gone stiff earlier, the constant itching even stronger now. But he didn't want his hands to be useless, so he took the pen from her.
Almost two sheets of paper were covered with just one word, repeated over and over. His own name. Easy enough to write, yet the letters were crooked and shaky, the ink smeared where his hand had accidentally trailed over it.
With a sigh, Azriel set the pen on the paper and tried his best to keep his hand steady as he resumed the exercise.
~~~~~~
Azriel really wanted to get laid.
There was no other way to say it. Every time he heard Cassian and Rhysand talk about a new girl they had slept with, he felt a pang of jealousy. He wanted to experience it too—to know what it felt like to have that kind of connection with someone and not have to resort to his own hand whenever he couldn't ignore his need.
But he had always been too shy to approach the pretty girls his brothers chatted up so easily. His hands did nothing to help his confidence.
Tonight, though, was bonfire night. Organized twice a year, it was held on the Spring and Autumn Equinox to celebrate the new season. And this year, Azriel had every intention of going home with a girl.
His brothers were laughing and pushing each other as they walked through the muddy streets of Windhaven. He wasn’t paying much attention to what they were saying—something about their earlier fight during training. No, Azriel’s mind was already focused on his plan.
He would keep a safe distance from the fire, where no incidents could happen. But he would scan the crowd of Illyrians for a female who caught his interest, and when he found her, he would approach her, talk a little, and then ask if she wanted to go somewhere more private.
Simple enough.
He was a warrior in training, after all. He had seven Siphons. He was a Shadowsinger.
He had nothing to fear from interacting with girls.
Yet, he couldn't recall the last time he’d started a conversation with a female. In the ten years he'd been at Windhaven, it had probably happened only with Rhys's mother. But she didn't count.
Someone bumped into Azriel, and, lost in his thoughts as he was, he almost fell to the ground. He managed to flare his wings to steady himself, glaring at Cassian as he regained his balance.
“Sorry about that,” Cassian said, though his snicker didn't make him sound particularly sincere. “I've been talking to you for two minutes, but you didn't hear a single word. What's going on?”
“Nothing,” Azriel mumbled, folding his wings behind him again. “Maybe you're just not worth listening to.”
Cassian gasped audibly, clutching his chest in mock heartache as a group of children sprinted by, headed for the square where the first booms of laughter and echoes of chattering rang out.
“Don't worry, Az,” Rhys chimed in before their brother could come up with a retort. “You'll get your first taste of sex tonight.”
Azriel shrugged off the hand Rhysand had placed on his shoulder. “Don't look in my mind,” he nearly growled, checking his mental shields just to be sure.
Both his brothers halted their steps and stared at him, twin shit-eating grins on their faces.
“I didn't,” Rhys said. “But thank you for confirming my suspicions.”
Cassian nudged him with an elbow, already teasing him about girls and first times and wingspans. With a snort, Azriel shoved him away and continued toward the bonfire, leaving the other two behind to push each other around, their chuckles chasing him down the street.
How they had guessed what he was up to, he didn't know. He’d been careful not to tell them, knowing their reaction would consist of snickers and jabs that he was in no mood for.
As he turned the corner, the square came into view. Just like every year, the bonfire stood in its center, rising several feet high and adorned with little homemade trinkets meant to bring good luck and a prosperous season when burned.
They would light it soon.
The square was already packed with people when Azriel reached it. Children ran around chasing each other, their laughs and screams echoing into the night. Warriors gathered in small groups, swords on their back and knives at their thighs or hips, not letting their guard down even during a festivity.
And then there were the females. Most sat together in a corner, chatting idly and glancing at the children from time to time. But some of them—the younger ones, the ones around Azriel's age—strolled in groups of two or three.
How was he supposed to approach them if they were always together? It was difficult enough when they were alone.
Azriel spotted Cassian and Rhys from the corner of his eye and moved deeper into the crowd, choosing to stand on the opposite side of the square from them. The last thing he needed was for his brothers to make fun of him.
Someone shouted a warning, and a moment later, the pyre was lit. Azriel flinched as flames erupted, pressing himself closer to the wall behind him. Even from this distance, he could feel the heat of the fire, warming his skin and casting a flickering glow all around.
He shut it out. He shut out the memory of what fire could do to flesh, the smell of burned skin, the screams and cries of a terrified eight-year-old boy. The shadows suddenly swirled around him, brushing against his arms and neck.
Past. Gone. Gone. Just memories.
Azriel closed his eyes and took a steadying breath, letting the truth they whispered calm his racing heart.
He sensed the girl before even the darkness could murmur of her approach.
He let his shoulders slump a little and slid his hands into his pockets, assuming a more casual stance. When he opened his eyes, she was watching him from a few feet away. Her head snapped around to stare at the bonfire as soon as she realized she'd been caught staring.
Azriel couldn't suppress his smirk. He had grown accustomed to females looking his way from the moment he’d hit puberty, but it still made him feel smug every time. Never mind that they didn't approach him—or that he never approached them.
But now, though. Now he would.
Taking one last deep breath, he took a nervous step toward her. And then another. She glanced in his direction, cheeks flushed and eyes wide, but one more step and Azriel was standing in front of her.
A few inches shorter than him, she didn't back away, her big brown eyes meeting his hazel ones. Her delicate face was framed by strands of wavy black hair that flowed past her shoulders, and he stopped himself before his eyes could travel downward to the curves shaping her slim body. She was pretty. Beautiful, even.
“Hi,” he said, attempting a smile. He wasn't sure it looked right.
The girl offered a small smile back. “I'm, uh… I didn't mean to stare. I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. “It's alright.”
For a brief, awkward moment, they just stood there, looking at each other. Then Azriel realized she was waiting for him to say something more. Right.
“What's your name?” he finally asked, silently thanking the little shadow that had curled around his ear to whisper the suggestion.
“I'm Teagan.” The girl's smile widened. “And you're Azriel.”
Caught off guard, he blinked. “You know me?”
Teagan chuckled, a clear and crystalline sound that eased some of the tension in Azriel's body.
Some of it.
“I've seen you around,” she answered with a shrug. Firelight danced on her features. “There aren't many Shadowsingers here, you know. None, in fact. You're one of a kind.”
Her initial shyness seemed completely gone now. Good. That made one of them, at least. Because if her words were meant as flattery, they didn't work. Instead, they only made Azriel more nervous.
What if she had expectations? What if she started asking questions about his powers? What if she would be disappointed now that she was talking to him? What if she—
Azriel cleared his throat, trying to clear his mind at the same time. “Thank you,” he said.
Too stiff. Too short. Not an acceptable answer. But he didn't know what else to say. How was he supposed to talk to a girl when he’d barely had any social interaction for the first eleven years of his life?
But Teagan must have found his awkwardness endearing, because she smiled, amusement shining in her eyes. “Aren't you going to offer me some food?”
A blush crept up his cheeks as he glanced over to the few tables laid with food in one corner of the square. People were already gathering around them and filling their dishes. Cassian was there too, shamelessly flirting with a girl whose hands were already wandering over his chest.
Azriel turned back to Teagan and nodded, a shy smile forming on his face. “I am, actually.” He cleared his throat—as if it could help him sound more confident—then gestured to the tables with his head. His hands remained buried in the pockets of his coat. “Would you like to get some food?”
It came out too formal, and his posture was too rigid. And simply nodding toward the tables? Rude. How could Rhys do this so smoothly? How could Cassian be so bold and smug?
Teagan chuckled again, though. She looped her arm through Azriel's and steered him toward the food. “You've never done this before, have you?”
He almost choked. It was worse than he'd feared, then.
“No, not really… I…” His voice trailed off, and he had no idea how to recover.
She leaned in closer as they walked, and Azriel became acutely aware of just how close she was. Her body pressed against his side, and he could feel her breath on his neck now. He wanted to take her hand, or maybe even slide his arm around her waist. If only he had worn gloves, maybe he would have dared. Though he'd need to find the courage first.
“Am I the first girl you try to flirt with?” she asked, her tone teasing.
Try. Not just flirt, but try to flirt. He was failing so miserably. Maybe he should just give up and leave.
Azriel could only nod, his face a deeper shade of red than Cassian’s siphons.
“I think it's cute,” Teagan said, her big smile lighting up her pretty face. “I'm glad you chose me to be your first.”
If only she knew what kind of first Azriel hoped she would be… but judging by how things were going, he suspected they wouldn’t get that far.
“I… don't really know what I'm doing,” he admitted, unsure why he was even saying that. It probably wasn't a smart move to reveal it, but it was too late to take it back.
As they weaved through the crowd, Teagan stepped even closer to him, and in doing so, her wing brushed against Azriel’s. They both gasped, and though she smiled sheepishly, he didn’t miss the mischievous gleam in her eyes.
“Sorry,” she said, a hint of amusement in her voice. “I just wanted to be closer to you. I really think you're cute. And I appreciate your honesty.”
Azriel smiled warmly, his heart thumping in his chest. He could still salvage this, maybe, so that his first interaction with a girl wouldn’t be a total failure.
As they stopped in front of the tables, he stepped back slightly to face her. “I think you’re cute too,” he said, meeting her gaze. He did his best not to sound shy or awkward. “You're very pretty.”
Her face lit up. “Thank you, Azriel.”
He was about to offer her some food when a group of kids suddenly weaved through the crowd and ran by. Azriel heard them coming and tucked his wings tightly, but Teagan either noticed them too late or couldn't fold her clipped wings any further.
The children bumped into her as they sprinted past, and she sucked in a sharp breath when one of them brushed her wing. Azriel was quick to grab her elbow to steady her, and something fluttered in his chest when she smiled in thanks. But then her gaze moved to his hand, still on her arm, and her eyes widened—in horror or shock, he couldn't tell.
He pulled his hand back as fast as he could, tucking it back into his pocket.
Too late.
Teagan swallowed, and the silence that stretched between them hit Azriel as painfully as a punch to the jaw.
“So,” he said eventually, feeling beyond awkward as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “What kind of food would—”
“I'm sorry,” she interrupted, already taking a small step back. Her eyes darted to the pocket where he’d hidden his hand before looking at him again. No warmth shone in them now. “But I forgot I had to… do something very important with my friend. Maybe another time.”
Azriel stood there, watching her turn and walk away without another glance. The rejection left him reeling. His mother could say whatever she wanted about his scars not being ugly or horrifying, but he now knew better than to believe her.
His hands balled into fists, and he took a deep breath, flexing his fingers. Without bothering to inform his brothers—who were probably on their way to sleep with yet another girl, since their hands were perfectly normal and unscarred—Azriel left the square. He put a few buildings between himself and the ongoing festivities before taking off to the skies.
He didn't return until long after the sun had set over the horizon.
~~~~~~
Azriel wished he could say he felt at least a bit bad for his half-brothers as Rhys and Cass threw punch after punch at their jaw and stomach. But all he felt while watching the scene unfold was a deep sense of satisfaction, which only grew with every new groan.
When Rhys had told him he needed to talk to his father for court matters, Azriel had refused to go. He had no interest in seeing his father or the rest of his family again, and Rhys had understood, asking Cassian to accompany him instead.
But Azriel had followed them. There was no reason for Cass to be there too, not when he was no good at playing courtier. He doubted Rhysand's father had told him to bring Cassian along.
Hidden in the shadows in the corner of the room, Azriel watched in silence as his brothers—his real ones, the only ones who mattered, as far as he was concerned—landed blow after blow. He knew now this was the real reason they'd come here.
Cassian had been itching for a fight from the moment they arrived and he didn't do a good job at hiding it. Azriel wasn't sure Cassian even tried to hide it. Rhys looked more composed, the perfect picture of the future High Lord dealing with minor problems of his Court. But as soon as Azriel's father had left, both of them had turned to his half-brothers with pure rage in their eyes.
One of them had been either bold or stupid enough to smirk. “How's our bastard brother doing?”
Rhysand and Cassian had both snapped. Despite being a few years older, his half-brothers didn't stand a chance. A warm feeling of affection was the only thing filling his chest as Azriel watched the two Illyrians who had taken him in, taught him how to fly, and showed him what a real family looked like, beat the shit out of whom was supposed to be his actual family.
He didn't make a sound, using his shadows to conceal even his scent. They were all too busy to pick up on it, even more so now that the metallic scent of blood filled the air, but he preferred to be careful.
Azriel didn't know exactly how much time had passed when Rhys and Cass finally relented, their chests heaving and their knuckles smeared with red. They straightened their backs, Cassian’s wings still spread in a fighting stance. Rhys, on the other hand, looked more relaxed, but his cold expression betrayed him.
“Don't you dare speak of him like that again,” Cassian snarled. His voice was just slightly breathless despite the beating he'd just given. “Especially after what you did to him.”
Azriel fought the urge to look down at his scarred hands. Being back in his father's keep was enough to stir memories he had long tried to forget. Instead, he focused on his brothers, on how much they must love him to risk hurting and threatening the sons of an Illyrian lord because of what they'd done to him.
Rhys exchanged a knowing glance with Cassian, and they turned to leave, abandoning his half-brothers on the floor. But they stood with a groan, battered and bloodied, still as arrogant as before. If not more so, now that they needed to make up for their bruised ego after being beaten so easily by a half-Illyrian and a low-born bastard.
One of them, the oldest, flared his wings as if trying to appear more intimidating. “He deserved it,” he spat.
Azriel had to stop himself from lunging forward and burying his own fist in his half-brother's stomach. He wanted to make him understand, to wave his hands in front of his face and yell at him. See this? This is what you did to me. I was eight! How could I have deserved it?
But he remained still, standing in the corner with his hands balled into fists so tight that his nails dug into his palms.
Rhysand held back Cassian as he tried to pounce on Azriel’s half-brothers. Cassian looked outraged, as if he couldn't understand why he suddenly wasn't allowed to fight. But Azriel could see the expression on Rhys's face and knew his brother had something different in mind.
“You think Azriel deserved it?” he asked, his voice unnervingly calm. He looked a lot like his father now—aware that he didn't need to raise his voice or his fists for people to obey.
“Well, fortunately for you, I can't show you exactly what I think you two deserve,” Rhys continued, slowly slipping his hands into his pockets. “But I can at least give you a taste of it.”
Before anyone could move, a crack pierced the air, immediately followed by a sharp cry of pain as his half-brothers both collapsed to the ground once more. Their legs lay beneath them at strange angles, the bone of one protruding where it had pierced the skin. The scent of blood grew stronger as the white tiles turned red.
His mother would have disapproved, Azriel knew that. She believed vengeance should not be sought out, and that living well in spite of what had happened was more than enough. Perhaps she was right, and Azriel was as bad and cruel as his half-brothers, after all. But as he stood there, watching them bleed and whine and scream for a healer who didn't come, all he felt was a deep sense of satisfaction, knowing that they now felt a fraction of the helplessness he had felt when they burned him.
Cassian crossed his arms, a feral grin spreading across his face. “Stop crying, boys,” he taunted. “It's not like you won't heal.”
The corner of Rhys's lips curled into a smirk. “I put a shield around the room. No one can hear you or smell the blood. I think I'll leave it in place and let you crawl out to ask for help.”
With a glance to Cassian, Rhys gestured toward the door in a silent command, and they walked out without sparing the two Illyrians another glance.
But Azriel stayed a few more moments. Just long enough to see his half-brothers try to rise, fail miserably, and fall back on the floor. When they began to crawl, using their hands to drag themselves across the floor, smearing their blood over the tiles and their clothes, Azriel smiled.
He didn't care if they were spouting insults at him and his brothers. He didn't care what kind of person that made him. The sight of his half-brothers crawling and bleeding delighted him.
With one last look at them, Azriel winnowed away, his heart full of love for the two brothers the Cauldron had blessed him with.
~~~~~~
It felt like centuries had passed since Azriel had last been this nervous around a girl. It had likely been over a hundred years, if not more, since he couldn't recall the last time he went on a date. Even longer since he’d had a genuine crush. Normally, he just approached girls, or they approached him, and things quickly escalated into a night of sex. But it was nothing more than that—just fucking.
With you, it was different.
He met you a couple of weeks ago when he walked into your little bookstore to buy a present for Nesta's birthday. You were so nice and radiant that he couldn't stop thinking about you, and he lost count of how many times he came, buying books he didn't need and asking for recommendations only to listen to you talk. And then he had finally asked you out, and your smile had lit up the whole shop as you said yes.
He was standing on the other side of the street, watching as you closed up the store for the day. Your dress flew around your legs in the evening breeze, and your hair was styled in a simple bun on your head.
Azriel smiled as you crossed the street. As usual, he had to hold back his shadows as they swirled excitedly around him. “You look lovely,” he said when you stopped in front of him.
“Thank you,” you replied quietly, lowering your gaze for a second before looking at him with a smile. “You're not too bad either.”
He chuckled softly. “Thank you.” Offering his arm, he gestured to the street. “Shall we?”
You looped your arm through his, and together you strolled along the Sidra, your steps unhurried.
Conversation flowed easily, and Azriel relaxed more as you talked about everything from your job to his preference for flying over winnowing. His shadows, which had lingered around his wings, vanished completely. But then you got to the little restaurant where he had reserved a table, and he grew nervous once more.
Even with your arms linked, your focus never drifted to his hands during the walk. Your eyes were either on him or your surroundings, making it easy to forget his marred skin.
Until you sat across from him and the food arrived. There was no way now you wouldn't notice his scars, which normally wasn't a problem—he'd stopped caring about strangers' opinions years ago. But you weren't a stranger, and you weren't just another girl he wanted to fuck.
You were sweet and beautiful, and he was drawn to you in a way he hadn't experienced in decades. He didn't want you to run away from him.
Maybe he shouldn't have taken you out to dinner on the first date, because now it was probably going to be the last one too.
Yet you didn't stare at his hands. You acted as if everything was normal, never commenting or asking what had happened to him. You carried on the conversation just like before, and when Azriel, hiding his distress behind a carefully crafted mask, asked you about a theater play you'd just mentioned, you launched into a passionate description of its plot and themes. His uneasiness slowly faded as he watched your eyes light up. You leaned closer over the table, so engaged in your story that Azriel found himself smiling and nodding along, only half listening, his worries about his hands momentarily forgotten.
Your voice suddenly trailed off mid-sentence, and you leaned back in your chair, tilting your head to the side. “What?” you asked with a soft smile. Before he could answer, you tensed and added, “I've done it again, haven't I? Rambling on about something you don't care about.”
Azriel shook his head, his hand itching to reach across the table and brush yours, though he held back. “Y/N,” he said, his voice quiet and reassuring. “I do care. I asked you that question. You just had that look on your face.”
Your brow furrowed. “What look?”
“The one you have when you talk about something you like,” he answered, watching your expression grow confused for a second. “You have it when you talk about books too.”
You were quiet for a moment, and then your eyes narrowed slightly. “Azriel,” you said slowly, but your lips twitched up in a smirk. “Did you ask for all those recommendations just to hear me talk?”
“Maybe,” he conceded, a faint blush creeping up his neck. His heart fluttered as your eyes met, and he couldn’t help but smile back.
He’d forgotten having a crush could feel like this—like being a boy again. Only now he knew what to do.
He’d never been much of a talker, preferring to listen and chime in occasionally, but with you, it was easy. You had your own way of involving him, asking questions or simply waiting for him to share his thoughts. Even though you barely paused, Azriel never felt like you were hogging the attention. On the contrary, you made him more at ease.
After you left the restaurant, you went strolling through the streets of Velaris. Azriel was just about to answer your question about how fast, exactly, an Illyrian could fly when you let out a delighted squeal, grabbed his hand, and pulled him toward a small bakery.
“Oh, I was waiting for this place to open!” You stopped in front of the window with a dreamy sigh before turning to look up at him. “I forgot it was today. Can we go in? Please, tell me you like pastries!”
Your enthusiasm was endearing, but Azriel couldn’t help glancing down at your hand still holding his larger, scarred one. You didn't seem to notice—or if you did, you didn’t care.
Your grip loosened slightly as you noticed the shift in his attention, but you didn't let go. “Sorry,” you said quietly, your eyes searching his face. “I got a bit carried away. Is this alright?”
He wasn't sure what to say. The lump in his throat made it hard to speak. That you had grabbed his hand without thinking was enough to leave him speechless, but what you were asking now… it wasn’t just that you weren't bothered by his scars. It was that you wanted to keep holding his hand. Azriel couldn't wrap his mind around it.
You probably misunderstood his silence because you started to pull back. He immediately held your hand tighter, gently squeezing it, as if to silently reassure you. “No, it’s okay,” he said quickly, his voice softer than usual. “I’m just…” Not used to it. “You caught me off-guard, that’s all.”
“I caught the spymaster off guard?” you teased, raising an eyebrow. “Should I be worried? Do we need to inform the High Lord?”
Azriel shook his head with a soft chuckle, his gaze lingering on you before he gestured toward the bakery. “Would you still like those pastries?”
Your eyes lit up, and Azriel made a mental note of how much you liked sweets. “Oh, yes, please!”
“Then let’s get you some, shall we?”
You walked past him as he held the door open for you, a grateful smile lighting up your face. Your hand remained entwined with his, and for once, Azriel didn’t feel the need to hide it.
You did not let go until he walked you home and you closed the front door behind you, and Azriel had never felt such lightness as he flew back to the House of Wind.
~~~~~~
Azriel sat on the edge of his bed, staring at his hands with a grimace on his face.
Someone had tried to infiltrate Velaris, likely sent from the Hewn City, and Azriel had been called to find out why. He could still recall the blood and the pleading whimpers. But in the end, he got the information he wanted. He always did.
At a cost.
He had long since learned to keep a cold expression, even in the face of the suffering he caused. He was used to it after centuries, and as long as it kept his city and family safe, he didn't care how cruel he had to become. Maybe it made him a horrible person, but his soul wasn't the cost.
The cost was his hands.
Even after all this time, being in the cells beneath the Hewn City was like being back in the cell in his father's mansion. He had to shut down every part of him that felt, bury those memories deep down in his mind, and remind himself that he wasn't a helpless child anymore.
He was a five-hundred-year-old warrior, and he had a job to do.
But once the job was done, and Rhys decided how to deal with the prisoner and the consequences, Azriel would go back to his room knowing he didn't have much time.
He would wash his bloodied hands, though he knew no matter how much he washed, he could never cleanse them completely. He had five centuries worth of blood on them. After they were clean, if he was lucky, like today, he had time to peel off his leathers before the inevitable happened.
The pain.
No matter how many times he’d been in those dungeons, no matter how many years had passed since he’d last been locked in his father’s cell, he still didn’t know how to stop the pain from returning.
It wasn’t as bad as it had been the first few times, and it was nothing compared to what he had felt while his hands were being burned and in the days after. But Azriel still gritted his teeth, a low hiss escaping from him.
He tried clenching them into fists, but the relief lasted only a few seconds before he had to relax them again. His fingers were stiff as he reached for the drawer, a fresh surge of stinging pain hitting him when he pulled it open. Shadows dove in before he could and quickly whisked up a small jar of white cream. They undid the lid, and Azriel felt grateful for the dark companions that had never once left his side now more than ever.
Willing his hands to cooperate, he scooped up some of the soothing balm a healer had made for him. It always took a little while for its effect to show, but pain was an old friend he had learned to live with.
The herbal scent filled the room as Azriel did his best to spread the balm over every inch of his hands, trying to ignore the stinging itch. Scratching would only make it worse, reddening his already scarred skin until it threatened to bleed again.
He shifted to lie on the bed, wings spread beneath him. He just had to endure the ache for a few more minutes before the balm took effect, and then he could try to sleep. He needed some rest after such a long day, if only to have a clear mind when he met you the next afternoon.
As his shadows hummed in his ear the Illyrian lullaby his mother used to sing him as a child, Azriel let his eyes drift close, flexing his aching fingers every few seconds, hoping for a faster relief.
~~~~~~
Things moved slowly with you.
Neither of you wanted to rush into anything and potentially ruin what you both knew could be the beginning of something great.
You went on several dates, and some ended with him spending the night at your apartment, snuggled up in your bed, which was too small for an Illyrian. Azriel didn’t care as long as he got to fall asleep with you in his arms.
But things had never gone this far.
When he came to your bookshop earlier, he had only planned to walk you home. You were tired from a long day dealing with customers, and he had to wake up early the next morning to leave for Illyria for a few days. Maybe it was the thought of not seeing you—even if only for a week—or the fact that you looked stunning in your simple dress, with strands of hair escaping from your messy bun. Whatever it was, Azriel wanted you. He needed you.
His lips parted from yours, both of you already breathing heavily. “I don't want to go home,” he murmured, his hands on your hips, twisting the thin fabric of your dress, wishing it weren't there.
“What do you want to do then?” you asked, amusement clear in your eyes. But there was desire there too, mirroring his own.
“I want to take off your dress,” he whispered, his fingers already moving to the straps on your shoulders. “Will you let me?”
“Yes,” you breathed. “Take it off.”
With deft fingers, he slid the straps down your arms, and the fabric slipped off your body, pooling around your feet. You stepped out of it, and Azriel swallowed at the sight of you clad only in your cream underwear.
“If I had known we'd be doing this, I would have worn something more enticing,” you said quietly. There was no shyness or embarrassment in your voice, as if you were simply stating a fact. You did have a point—your lingerie was simple, something you wore every day. It didn't matter to Azriel.
He shook his head, stepping closer to you. “You don't need to,” he murmured. His hands cupped your face, tilting your head up to kiss you tenderly. “You're always stunning, sweetheart, no matter what you wear.”
You hummed, a smile playing on your lips. “Now I want to know what you think when I'm not wearing anything.”
Azriel chuckled, even as desire coiled in his groin. A part of him wanted to toss you on the bed and fuck you senseless. But most of all, he wanted to take his time exploring your body, finding every spot that made you squirm and sigh. Only after he'd thoroughly tasted you would he bury himself inside you.
“Let's find out,” he replied with a smirk, already knowing that, no matter what, you'd always be perfect in his eyes.
He reached behind you to unclasp your bra, and as he tossed it on the chair, he felt himself harden. Your breasts were full and supple, your pink nipples so inviting that he wanted to wrap his lips around them. Yet as he lifted a hand to touch you, he hesitated.
The stark contrast between your soft, smooth skin and his scarred fingers made him pause. He had touched you before, but never so intimately. How could he do that? His hands had so much blood on them. With how they looked, it felt only fitting he would use them for horrible things—to hurt people. Not to touch the wonderful girl he was falling for. How could he be so selfish as to sully you like that? You deserved so much better than him. Someone who didn’t torture and kill for a living, who didn’t have a dark past still haunting him.
Someone good.
He took a step back, lowering his hand.
“Azriel,” you called gently. There was no sign of judgment or disappointment in your voice. You just wanted him to look at you.
Slowly, his eyes met yours. To his astonishment, a soft smile bloomed on your lips.
“It’s alright,” you murmured, taking his hands in yours. He fought the urge to pull away. “You can touch me. I want you to touch me.”
He wanted to. More than anything. He wished he could.
“I shouldn’t,” he whispered.
“Why?”
How could he explain? He never told you what had happened to him. He didn’t want you to pity him or, even worse, to drive you away. Selfishly, he wanted to keep you in his life.
When he didn’t answer, your fingers slid around his wrists. Neither of you spoke as you lifted his hands to your mouth and kissed each scarred palm. Azriel’s throat worked, his heart pounding in his chest. Without a word, you placed his hands on your breasts. You let go of his wrists, giving him the freedom to pull away if he wanted to. But your eyes never left his, and that soft smile never faltered.
Azriel swallowed hard. For a moment, he just stood there, not pulling away but not moving either. Your face was open and serene, as if his scars didn’t bother you, even now that they were touching such an intimate part of your body.
Seeing you like this, so calm and accepting, so soft and warm under his palms… his thumbs moved, brushing over your nipples. You shivered, and he couldn’t stop himself from doing it again, feeling the small buds harden under his touch.
As if sensing his impending question, you nodded slightly. “You can touch me, Az.”
Though he knew it was wrong and still didn’t understand how you could want his bloodied, scarred hands on you, he gave you what you wanted—what you both wanted.
He slid one hand behind your neck, pulling you closer and kissing you again. The other remained on your breast, kneading the soft flesh, savoring every small sigh that escaped your lips. You leaned into him, your fingers tangling in his hair, deepening the kiss until Azriel’s control hung only by a thin thread.
When you pulled back, you didn’t give him time to lower his mouth to your neck. You grasped his hand, gently moving it away from your chest, and a wave of fear tightened in Azriel’s stomach. You had changed your mind. Of course you had. He should have seen it coming.
But instead of stepping away, you guided his hand down. Between your legs.
His breath caught as his fingers brushed against your panties, feeling the already damp fabric beneath his touch.
“Y/N…” he whispered, his voice almost too quiet to hear. “Are you sure?”
You were smiling again. “Yes. Please, Az.”
He didn’t know how to say no. He knew he should have, that he was unworthy of touching someone so pure and lovely. But you had already pushed the fabric aside, and he groaned as your slick arousal coated his fingertips. Before he even realized what he was doing, his fingers found your clit, drawing a soft moan from you.
The thin thread holding his control snapped at the sound, and Azriel let himself give in.
He pulled you closer, his eyes locked on yours as his fingers explored what they shouldn’t. At the first sign of hesitation or revulsion, he was ready to stop. But pleasure was the only emotion etched across your face, and he could see the desire for more burning in your eyes. Yet you were letting him set the pace, giving him time to accept your permission to touch you.
He slipped a finger between your folds, teasing your entrance before tentatively easing it inside, just a little.
Your hips bucked, and your voice came out as a needy whisper. “Please…”
Azriel hesitated for only a split second before pushing his finger all the way in. You were soft and warm, and you both groaned as your walls clenched around it. He couldn’t believe you were letting him do this, but he couldn’t stop now.
As he slowly pumped it in and out, your hips began to rock against his hand to match his movements. He watched in contemplation as your eyes fluttered close and your lips parted slightly, a breathy moan slipping out when he couldn’t resist the urge to add a second finger.
“Azriel…” you murmured. “Feels so good…”
The sound of his name on your lips sent a wave of heat through his body. His wings rustled quietly behind him, and his cock throbbed in his pants. He pulled his hand away, relishing your disappointed whimper.
You hadn’t run away from him. You didn’t let his scars intimidate you, or shape your opinion of him. You weren’t bothered by his marred fingers touching you; on the contrary, you craved them inside you. So why, despite the voice in his head whispering that he wasn’t worthy of it, should he deny you something you both wanted so badly? He wanted to taste you, to make you come on his fingers, and see how much pleasure they could bring you.
“I want to do this properly,” he murmured, gently guiding you to the bed. “Will you lie down for me, sweetheart?”
Your face lit up with a smile, and you slipped out of your panties. Sitting on the edge of the bed, you spread your legs, baring yourself to his hungry gaze.
As Azriel knelt between your parted thighs, he pushed every thought about his hands out of his mind, focusing only on the beautiful girl before him and the warmth settling in his heart.
~~~~~~
Azriel jolted awake, his chest heaving. He lifted his hands in front of him, the dim light of the moon casting shadows across them.
They were fine. Scarred as always, but fine.
He took a deep breath as he lay back down. It was just a nightmare—memories coming back to haunt him in his sleep every now and then. Even after centuries.
“Az?”
He cursed silently as you stirred beside him, turning to face him. He could see your struggle to open your eyes, your voice a sleepy mumble.
“Are you okay, love?”
“Yeah,” he whispered back, wrapping his arms around you to pull you closer. “Sorry I woke you.”
“It's alright.”
It always was with you. You never complained when his nightmares disrupted your sleep. He didn't have them as often since you'd moved in together, fortunately. Sleeping next to you helped, but it wasn't a cure.
“Did you have a nightmare?” you asked quietly. With your head resting on his chest, you could probably hear the rapid thumping of his heart. He willed it to slow.
“It's fine, sweetheart,” he sighed. He pressed a kiss to your hair, and his tone was softer when he spoke again. “Go back to sleep.”
You curled up against him, and he thought you might let it go. But instead, you continued to look up at him. “You know you can talk to me if you want.”
“I know,” he murmured. You’d always been there for him when he needed it. You had been since the moment you met a year ago, and he was grateful for it every single day. He couldn't wait for your mating ceremony in two weeks and prove once more how much you meant to him.
You shifted in his arms, and then your head was on the pillow next to his, your face only inches away from his. You reached for his hand and lifted it up to your lips, kissing his palm, his fingers, his knuckles.
Azriel watched in silence, a lump in his throat. His heart still raced, and he felt the sudden urge to cry. He didn't even need to tell you what he needed, what burdened him. You always knew. Even before the bond snapped, you'd understood him effortlessly.
“Your hands are fine,” you murmured against his marred skin. “And so are you. You're fine. They can't hurt you anymore.”
Azriel closed his eyes, trying to hold back the tears threatening to spill. He buried his face in your neck, freeing his hand from your gentle grasp so that he could hold you tighter and press his body against yours. He draped his wings over you, unwilling to let go.
Your fingers stroke through his black curls. “I'm here, my love.” Your voice was soothing and soft, and Azriel felt like the helpless child he'd been five hundred years ago—needing reassurance, care, love. Maybe he would always need those things.
“You're here with me. You're safe now.”
He couldn't stop them, then. Tears slipped past his eyelids, rolling down his cheeks and dampening the skin of your neck. But your gentle caresses and soothing words never faltered.
“It's alright,” you whispered. Your warmth seeped into him, and he felt so cared for that even the last of his walls began to crumble. A broken sob tore through him.
“You're safe, my love.” You cradled his head against your neck, lips brushing his hair. “You can let it all out.”
Azriel did. You'd helped him through difficult moments before, but he had always held back because he didn't want to feel weak. He didn't want you to think he was weak. But if he’d learned anything from you, it was that crying didn't make him weak. That letting his feelings pour out through tears was better than burying them deep down for centuries.
So, he let them rise to the surface. The pain, the anger, the grief for the childhood he’d never had, the bitterness and frustration.
He had never cried about it before, but as he did, he could see it, for the first time in his life—a small light, a way out of the endless cycle of self-pity and hate he'd fallen into.
Maybe his mother had been right all those years ago. He was still healing, even after five centuries. He didn't know how much longer it would take, but maybe he’d reach a point when the nightmares stopped, his hands didn't hurt, and he could accept his scars. And maybe, one day, he wouldn't need his mother or his mate to remind him that his hands weren't ugly.
Azriel had no idea for how long you let him cry and sob in your arms. He had so many pent-up emotions, so much he still couldn't express, words he couldn't voice. But it was a start. And as exhaustion dragged him back to sleep, the weight on his chest, on his heart and soul, felt a little lighter.
Yet you still held him close, stroking his black curls long after he fell asleep.
General taglist: @mrsjna @navyblue-eternity @paintedbyshadows @highladyandromeda @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @azrielsmate3 @mollygetssherlockcoffee @mirandasidefics @tinystarfishgalaxy @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @anarchiii @readinggeeklmao @anneas11 @azrielslittleslut @lilah-asteria @aaahhh0127 @lorosette @azrielsrealmate @pey2618 @mellowmusings @k8r123-blog @daughterofthemoons-stuff
Azriel Week: @fourthwing4ever
#azrielappreciationweek2024#azriel x reader#azriel x y/n#azriel x you#azriel#azriel shadowsinger#azriel appreciation week#azriel fic#acotar#acotar x reader#a court of thorns and roses#sjm#sarah j maas#angst#fluff#fanfiction
58 notes
·
View notes
Text
Take a Slice
Part Three- Catch
f!reader x Tashi Duncan x Art Donaldson x Patrick Zweig
Cinnamonacid on AO3
warnings- age gap, flirting, possessive behavior, implied sexual relations but no sex, etc.
It seems like your dreams have finally come true.
Tashi had already started to walk away, not letting the two men respond. They both chased after her.
“Wait, what? Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Art asked.
“Let me go with you.” Patrick insisted. Tashi paused, turning on her heel and facing them.
She looked at Art first, soft and reassuring. “It’ll be fine. It’s just a possible coaching opportunity. Nothing serious.”
Then, her gaze shifted over to Patrick. “No.”
“What? Why not?” He frowned.
“Because you come on too strong and I don’t want you scaring her away.”
“Bullshit.” Tashi gave him a dirty look. “Okay, maybe sometimes I can be a little blunt, but it’s just one of my charms. And you’re one to talk about scaring people away. You’re intimidating as hell. If you look at her like you’re looking at me right now, you’ll send her running.”
She leaned in close to him, tilting her head up so their eyes were level. “I’m the coach here. Not you. You should know that out of anyone, Patrick. Especially after I saved your ass and your career. So don’t try to interfere with one of my potential proteges. She’s mine. Stay away.”
She was right. Patrick knew that. He could fight it all he wanted, but time and time again, she had proved to him that she wasn’t his peer. Not when it came to tennis, at least. She had chosen to forgive him, to train him and help him win not one, but three grand slams in the span of a year. She made his career, bumped his rank up from 271st all the way to the top 5. He owed her everything.
So, he slumped back, letting her walk past. “Fine. Just don’t come running to me when she says no.”
She didn’t even bother to look back at him. “I won’t.”
–
You paced back and forth in the parking lot as you listened to your mother’s voice. You were still high from the win, still feeling the rush. Pride bloomed in your chest as she spoke.
“I’m so proud of you, baby. I knew you could do it! The next thing you know, you’ll be at the olympics!”
“Oh, I don’t know about that. I’ve still got a long way to go.”
“Well, with how hard you’re working, I’m sure that’ll be very soon.”
“Thanks, Mom.” You smiled to yourself, before you noticed something in the corner of your eye. You looked over, spotting your coach waving at you. You felt your heart jump in your chest as your eyes fell to the woman standing beside him. It was Tashi.
You could hardly process what your mother was saying, her words turning into white noise. You could barely speak. “Mom? I gotta go.”
“Okay, call me later?”
“I will. Love you.”
“Love you more than anything, sunshine.”
You hung up and fumbled with your phone as they walked over, unsure what to do with it or your hands. You were completely starstruck.
You must’ve looked like an idiot, standing there and gawking as your coach introduced you, but you couldn’t help yourself. You spent years and years dreaming of this moment, knowing that it was just a fantasy, that the chances of it actually happening were damn near impossible, and yet, here you were with Tashi standing mere feet away from you. She was even more gorgeous in person.
You could hardly even hear what your coach was saying over your racing heart, blood thumping in your ears. “This is Tashi Duncan and she’d like to speak with you.”
You nodded dumbly, watching as your coach walked away, leaving the two of you alone in the empty parking lot. You’re going to lose it.
“Congratulations.” She reached over to shake your hand. You hoped she couldn’t feel how sweaty your palms were.
“Thank-” You cleared your throat. It felt dry and tight, making it even harder for you to speak. “Thank you.”
“I know you don’t have a lot of time right now, so I’ll get straight to the point. I was impressed with what I saw out there today, and I’d like to coach you. Here’s my number, if you want to talk.”
She handed you her business card, it was pale white, her name imprinted on it in gold letters, along with a number. You flipped it over to see another number scribbled in black pen. “The number on the front is for business, for the foundation and such, so the best way you can reach me is through my cell. I hope we can talk soon.”
With that, she left. You watched her go, before staring at the card in your shaking hands.
Holy shit.
–
You sprinted over to Anneliese the moment you got the chance, after all the interviews and pictures and such. She was standing in the parking lot, waiting with the other girls for your bus to arrive and take you back to campus. Thankfully, the ride wouldn’t be too long, since you were only an hour out from Stanford.
You screamed her name, grabbing her hands. “What? What is it?”
“Tashi fucking Duncan talked to me! And she gave me her number!” You squealed, handing her the card.
“Holy shit! This is way better than an autograph!”
“I know, right? I guess she was impressed with how I played today, and she said she wanted to coach me. And look at the back, that’s her number- her personal cell phone number!” Anneliese’s jaw dropped.
“That’s amazing! And her cell phone too? Oh my god, she totally wants you.” You couldn’t help but get flustered, giggling nervously. “Noo, I wish though.”
“I don’t know, giving someone your personal cell phone number? As a professional and a celebrity? That’s bold. She better not steal you away from me.”
You threw your arm around her, pushing her body against yours, rolling your eyes. “You know that no one could ever steal me away.”
You looked around, making sure no one else was listening, before you leaned in closer, pressing your mouth against her ear. “Not from my pretty girl.”
“Stop.” She giggled and pushed you away, her cheeks all cute and rosy. “Make me.”
The bus then pulled up, getting everyone’s attention and ending your little banter session. But with the way she was looking at you, you knew there was much more to come.
–
You should be exhausted from the day. It was mentally and physically draining, in almost every way possible, and yet you still couldn’t sleep. You sat up in bed and made sure to be quiet, to not disturb Anneliese, who was asleep beside you. You stared at Tashi’s card on the table. Then, you grabbed your phone and put her contact in.
A few days later, you managed to work up the courage to text her. You sent her your name and a reminder of who you were, just so she wouldn’t mark it off as spam.
You: I’m ready to talk
She didn’t reply immediately, which wasn’t surprising. She was a busy woman. But that didn’t stop you from checking your phone constantly, opening the chat to see if she sent a read receipt or anything.
An hour or so passed and and just when you were about to give up, you saw the three dots appear, making your heart rate instantly spike.
Tashi: Great
Tashi: What day/time works best for you?
Tashi: I know just the place to meet
#challengers#art donaldson#patrick zweig challengers#patrick zweig#tashi duncan#art donaldson x reader#tashi duncan challengers#tashi duncan x reader#art x tashi#patrick zweig x reader#patrick x art#patrick x tashi#art x tashi x patrick#art donaldson challengers#tashi challengers#patrick challengers#challengers fanfic#challengers x reader#challengers fic#challengers x you
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
I need to change my major .
#sleeps speaks#having a 'should have listened to my mom' moment and NOT liking it#i wanna be a teacher So bad and i thought i wanted to be a science teacher but this is. so much. I don't have the gpa for this man#but. my gpa lines up awesomely witj the gpa needed for an art degree. i can be an art teacher. i like art#financial aid can't dump me if i switch majors to something that then still has me qualifying for it right#don't answer that I'm already scheduling appt w an advisor so i can actually figure this out
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
recently thinking about the tcwg episode where mochis mob spell finally starts running out. apparently its maximum possible usage is 10 years (which they find out from pom) and appearently tiramisu put it on her too soon,,... when they ask her she says "Oh...you were such a cute kid I didn't want to wait too long!!" while pinching her cheeks, and suddenly theres a few more people at school who are like "Hey...I never really noticed but...Mochi is kinda pretty, huh?"
for the people who start to notice, they chalk it up to "Maybe she hit puberty late...?" or something, but regardless she has 1 or 2 more people actually ask her out, and lime starts to realize how much it bothers him
#text#bpp#lore#she is....not used to it#mayhaps let this be the moment lime realizes#the pitcher on the baseball team one day standing next to lime and goes (So....mochi doesnt have a boyfriend right?)#and lime takes a very long pause#(technically no but first of all what the hell? no one ever notices her. and second of all i feel sick to my stomach) -lime thoughts#pom: it should be fine. youre almost graduated so you dont have to deal with it much longer#and mochi trying to grapple with the idea that some people actually think shes pretty#(besides her mom and coco. theyre the only people who tell her and she thinks theyre being nice)#shes like (i think theyre lying...)#(they are definately not lying) -lime thoughts again#only like 2 people have enough bravery. the others are like (shit shes limes girl though....how am i supposed to compete with that)#the mob spell is op but only for a little while#and after it runs out it cant be recast on the same person#lime didnt realize that she doesnt think shes pretty at all#when that guy confesses to her the first thing she says is (you...think im pretty?)#coco oscar and lime all hovering outside the classroom listening
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think the worst part of being in your early twenties is that you're forced to come to terms with the fact that you're no longer a teenager or a child, but something else that can clearly see the exact moment when you started to become your own person. you're hyperaware that your experiences made you into who you are now and you can't go back and change them. you can't go back. the image of innocence is so clear in your mind. but you are the ship and the iceberg is right ahead.
#posting this bc i was cleaning out my old fanfic.net profile (that should tell u that im an internet cryptid in itself) and i realized#that ive been writing and reading fic for an entire DECADE#i remember the exact moment i discovered fanfiction and the power that i could have with it#i also used to use pandora to listen to music (does pandora still exist ???)#and when my mom found my fic and my online profiles she got so mad#and took away my tablet for like a month and honestly it traumatized me#but anyways. yea i am starting to feel Old#but not in a whiny 'omg im so old ugghhhhh' way#but in a 'oh fuck i never thought id make it this far' kind of way
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#there should be a word for when youre talking around the tightness of tears#speaking against something that hurts#laughing specifically to undermine the seriousness of the statements youre voicing#the worst of both worlds. help me help me hahaha im not even joking hahaha but listen to the lies in my tone. dont focus on the words.#i want plausible deniability. but also i want u to understand my pain and give it a voice. speak it into existence because i cant say it#but if u do i might cry. that sounds hard that sounds like a lot. i kno i know. shut up. keep talking. do u think i dont feel it? i do#but if i split myself in two i can watch myself and suddenly it becomes funny. im not sure why. but i have a bad habbit of laughting at#inappropriate moments. because if its not funny then its just sad and what am i supposed to do with that?#i dunno. thats all to say my dad called bc i was looking at housing stuff and i was explaining some of the stuff im doing rn#and thats hard to talk abt without crying bc ive always been a cry bby but i didnt. and i love my parents theyre great#but they dont understand bc i havent told them all of it bc theres nothing they can do so y make them worry. and idk i also think they#think im less competent than i am. and part of that is just bc im their kid. part of that is bc there r things thst most ppl can do but i#struggle with. but its also not fun to hear: oh yeah i was surprised by how professional u sounded. or i think ur mom found u those#connections. when no. i did that. i made those things happen. i promise i can do things sometimes. but sometimes i cant. i dunno its just#it is what it is. whatever. decisions to b made. do i room with roommates for lower rent#or do i take an expensive place for a year for a single room? i dont want roommates but ill take them#i mean all the single places r like 950 at the very lowest without any utilities or anything but most r well over 1000 and like on a grad#student salary? i think not. not without losing money on net. i can deal with roommates. i have in the past. i wont b able to relax ever#but its fine. ya kno#just annoying. hah my dads sage advice was ah dont let it overwhelm u. go exercise. bc hes an endurance runner guy#and im like bro when i get home i have 1.5 hrs of daylight. but alas hes right. i do gotta run out my angers and its not enough#ugh. one more week. itll work out. and eventually ill walk into a counselors office like bro i just want u to tell me whether or not i have#0cd bc whatever the fuck it is that makes me do these things is absolutely destroying me. name the beast 0cd or 0cpd. tell me what box#i fit into. not that it matters but i feel like i cant complain until someone else rubber stamps me. actually then ill probably just obsess#abt how. actually. theyre wrong. ay fun times#i gotta shake shake shake my sillies out. and wiggle my waggles away. bc i never could let my kids songs go haha#unrelated
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
someone gave rat poison to my cat back home and she died
#I don't even know what to say right now#I just hope it was an accident and they didn't meant to kill her and were just trying to get rats#because I can't live knowing someone would be so evil#I'm just. god.#I don't even have anyone to call right now because I have fucking no one left#and I can't talk to my family because my mom is a mess and my sister is gonna throw an absolute fit once she finds out#and I've been waiting for this moment for years because she was very old and I had made my peace with it#I just can't believe it happened like this#I should've brought her here. I can't believe I listened to everyone who told me I shouldn't#I could've prevented this but instead I listened to them#I just feel so wronged and sad#she could've lived a couple more years of her elder life if I just brought her with me#I don't even know how to face my family now. I was supposed to go back there this week but now I don't even want to#my mother and my sister grieve very different from my father and me and we just don't know how to deal with it#if I kicked and screamed I'm pretty sure I'd feel worse#I just wish I had someone who could give me a fucking hug right now but I have no one. she should be here with me#rambles*
0 notes
Text
oh "the house that built me" by miranda lambert we're really in it now
#the dawn of the final day and i am doing better than i thought i'd be so far but i know i'm not going to be breathing when i drive back#what do you mean i won't be able to sit in my backyard or touch my walls and ceiling walking down the hallway. bc it won't be mine.#like what the fuck#i've been listening to bts on shuffle all day bc it's the only music i could handle that's how you know it's bad#speaking of bts 'moving on' is not exactly what i thought it would be lyrically but yeah the vibe is very correct#literally 이사 가자 정들었던 이곳과는 안녕 이사 가자 ... 텅 빈 방에서 마지막 짐을 들고 나가려다가 잠시 돌아본다 울고 웃던 시간들아 이젠 안녕#like come onnnnnnn this place does smell like us and i was already stressed about losing the house smells before namjoon brought it up 😒#i painted my closet doors so they'll be fresh for the staging and pictures and i had a moment where i felt 9 years old again looking at them#i won't be able to fill up my water bottle and taste home???? ever again??????????#the way my dad built half the house. he made the trim on my bedroom walls so they'd have a scalloped edge and match the toy chest he built#i won't hear my stupid ceiling fan rattling through the night threatening to fall on me?? ever again????#if you read all that sorry i'm very tired and too overwhelmed to be concise#i miss my dog :( we packed his ashes in the moving pod and my mom kept making jokes that he should go on the couch for the ride#fuck to live in a house that never knew him? freaking out a little! where i won't be able to hallucinate his nails on the tile coming down#the hallway to my room? or him ripping through the backyard? good lird#i think i need to go to bed ! i will probably feel worse tomorrow but that is okay :)#a post
0 notes
Text
x
#my mom was in the bathtub after a whole morning if my dad being a CUNT. having to drive him to the er for something that btw he didn't have#having to listen to him rant on and in about his usual shit#so now shes in the bathtub having a moment and crying by herself#and my dad had to go in. see her cry. and proceed to yell at her how she's crying bc its his fault so shes an asshole#then left. went back in and yelled again about well if im so bad then you should leave me. thats what you want isnt it.#and now they have to spend the weekend together at my grandmas so god have mercy.#like my dad is mentally ill and not doing good. but like hes making like so much worse for everyone else#my mom was such a happy joyous person and in the past years shes been having so many mental breakdowns and stuff SOLELY bc of my dad#at this point idk anymore like. i just want my mom to be happy again and i want my dad to actually live a life#and not whatever he's doing rn
1 note
·
View note
Text
Today I was talking with my mom about why seeing an alligator is fundamental to my mental health. At first she laughed but I got her to listen and she gets it now. My psychiatrist and I call this the alligator litmus test, and it works really well for making decisions about my treatment. I bring this up because perhaps there is something in your life that you can use in a similar fashion.
I have severe major depressive disorder, and I treat this depression with medication. I've been on meds for about... seven years now, and sometimes we have to mess with them. But sometimes the emotional part of the depression is just super bad and there's something underneath that needs to be addressed. When we are figuring this out, my psychiatrist says to take one alligator and call her in the morning.
See, no matter how bad I'm feeling, seeing an alligator almost always cheers me up in the moment. (This works with other large crocodilians, too- they gotta be big, it doesn't work with caimans. I don't know why.) I can't look at their goofy toofers and beautiful eyes and bumpy hides and not be a little wowed by them. Millions of years of evolution have led to this amazing creature and they are completely unbothered by me. Almost all of the time, they make me feel happy. Or maybe I'll feel sad for some unspecified reason. Maybe I'll get worried about the ecosystem or something- but invariably, I will FEEL.
Unless, of course, it's my brain chemistry. If I can experience an alligator and not feel anything- not happy, not sad, just numb- there's something wrong and we should talk about adjusting my meds. Usually with a little tweaking I'm back to my very functional medicated baseline in quick order- instead of wasting time with coping skills and such alone when what I really need is brain chemicals, it's a much quicker way to communicate what's going on with me. At the same time, it also helps me know when the coping skills ARE likely to work without changing up my meds, or when there's something I need to work through with some help.
It's a pretty solid test. Might not work for anyone else on the planet, but it works great for me!
32K notes
·
View notes
Text
"Okay." Danny slowly laid the already cold body back onto the table, ready to slide back it into the refuge of cold storage. "Okay. Dead guy. Stay there."
The body didn't move.
"Fantastic. Now. Hang out while I pour the embalming fluid into the pump, alright? It should only be a minute."
And it usually did; working in a funeral home wasn't extremely glamorous, but it paid the bills, and Danny had already been used to the rhyme and rhythm of negotiating death with the public by the time he sent in his mortuary school application. It had been a transition that made sense. And in the end, the degree had only cost him a few extra years post-graduation and a little dig into student loans, and now Danny had a stable 12-8 job and health insurance valid in the state of new jersey.
Today, though, the pump had that decided enough was enough. With a bang and a boom, the pump spat out a cloud of smoke and clunked uncomfortably.
The dead body sat up.
Danny scrambled over to push it back down. "No. We talked about this. Dead people don't move. If you want to stay here and have me put you back together all the time, you have to stay put. Got it?"
Whatever the weird gold-eye corpses were on in Gotham, they at least listened to him on occasion. They weren't ghosts, per se— they never pinged on any of the ghost detection devices Mom and Dad had packed in his going-away-to-college bag— but they were, despite being occasionally animate, perfectly deceased.
Weird. Danny had never gotten used to it. Still, they came in droves, too eager to sit on the top of the basement stairwell and lurk in the corners and stare endlessly at them with their weird, avian eyes, and sometimes they heralded the arrival similarly weird-ass bodies that had lost their heads or their arms or their limbs through the more conventional channels.
"I'm losing too much thread to all y'all coming in all the time," Danny complained to the dead body, who, at the moment, was the only person present to blame. "Stop getting your limbs cut off. This stuff is expensive, you know. It's a specialty order."
The body didn't even have the courtesy to blink. Rude.
"At least let them bury you this time. Every time one of you darts off when my back's turned, my boss thinks I'm stealing corpses. My coworkers think I'm building my own Frankenstein or something."
The corpse neither verbalized nor blinked, but Danny hadn't expected it to; with a sigh, he rolled the corpse back into cold storage, locked its little door (not that locking it in had ever stopped it) and called it quits for the night.
It's not like anyone was paying him for the extra hours anyway.
The whole fic on ao3
#I'm very pro Danny accidentally adopts a whole bunch of Talons#people have definitely done it before but this scene came to me in a vision#a horrible caffeinated vision#could absolutely be an excuse for#talon!dick#talons#dp x dc#faer fic#dpxdc#dcxdp#talon!au#dcu crossover#death tw#well. the funeral industry anyway#medical tw#just in case#corpse tw#¯\_(ツ)_/¯#free to a good home
9K notes
·
View notes
Text
i hate you
at you and bakugous wedding he reveals his true feelings
★・・・・・・★
“ it is now time for the vows, bakugou we will start with you.”
Bakugou reaches into in pocket and pulls out papers, making sure to wipe his hands against his pants.
looking at you and then taking a deep breath and clearing his throat he says “ about a month into our relationship i realized one thing about you. i was in the shower after a date, you had kissed me for the first time. in my head i declared that i hated you.”
gasp filled the room. bakugou looked up from the paper and into your eyes once again, he saw you taken aback. hearing a faint “ katsuki..” from his mom he knew he should continue.
“ i hated you more into the relationship, i had this feeling in me when i thought about you. i hated it. “
“ i hated the way you came into my life like you owned it, and the thing i hated the most about you is that you made me feel human.”
“ dude this isn’t what we planned “ kirishima says from behind bakugou. him and bakugou stayed up numerous nights trying to find the write words to say to you, bakugou would describe his feelings to kirishima and kirishima would write down a sentence, but nothing was good enough for bakugou so when they finally came to an agreement…bakugou tossed it.
“ For example “ bakugou starts again “ i hate seeing you, hearing your voice, being next to you and having you touch me, everything that you did effected me.”
“ i hated how when i slept i wished you were there, when i shared an apartment with kirishima, kaminari and sero i hated how anything i had to do with them i wanted to do wit you, i hated being alone because you weren’t there to throw me a smile, i hated your smile, i hated when you smiled that was the only thing i wanted to see, i hated feeling you lips on me because i never wanted them to leave.”
taking a breath in bakugou made sure not to look at you, he didn’t want to see the look on your face,
“ the worst part is that i never hated any of this, i loved it. and that scared me to my core. i never thought i would be able to feel this way about anyone, this feeling was so forgine to me “
“ so i shut you out, for the first 6 months of our relationship i was terrible to you. i never gave you any love, or affection. i wasn’t talking to you, i avoided you. i kept us secret. i don’t want any to know that bakugou katsuki was capable of love because you made me feel like a human being not some hot shot hero with a big ego. whenever i thought i could do anything, beat everyone, you always reminded me that i was human.”
a shaky breathe leaves him “ you scared the crap out of me, i didn’t like what you gave me but i craved it, i craved you. “
“ the moment i think about still to this day is the day you told me you loved me, i didn’t say it back. instead i took your hand off my shoulder and walked to the bathroom and telling you that i had to piss. in that bathroom i wanted to scream “
“ the night it all changed is when i heard you and my dumb roommates talking on the. you had begged me for us to have a sleep over and in the middle of the night you got up. i followed you. i heard kaminari ask you ‘ are you and bakugou gonna break up ‘ at that i froze, i listen further into the conversation and when you said ‘ if me and bakugou break up it will be him doing the breaking up, he’s rude and hot head and not very affectionate but those small moments with him are worth it’ “
“ i don’t know what changed in me that night but that was the first night i initiated touch with you while i was fake sleeping “
“ i hate our relationship because of those first 6 months, i didn’t know how to properly treat you and how to communicate my feelings which i still can’t do.” bakugou lets a tear fall out of his eyes.
“ i hate how i never gave you what you deserved, i worked my butt off and tried so hard after that night to show you that i still love you. i love your smile, your laugh, or when you choose to sleep directly on me instead of your side of the bed. how you cook with me, comfort me after a long day, how you play with my hair, how you always snap back at me. how you love to bake with me. “
“ i love those late nights where you and me just talk about absolutely nothing. i love when when you get a tingly feeling in your nose and you stuff and strunchn into my shoulder for comfort. i love how you jump into my arms randomly, i love when you put your cold feet under my shirt to warm them up. i love when you rub my back and kiss my forehead. i love everything about you and everything you do. i hate how i can never tell you how much i love you.”
“ i never hated you, i loved you. and i was so scared to show it. i hate myself because i can never find the right words to tell you anything because even now i still don’t deserve your love. “
looking into your eyes you see tears falling from his and his lip quivering. bakugous fist are gripping the paper at this point.
“ but you deserve all of mine, y/n i love you “
silence came over the whole building..
“ was that okay?” he asked you in a quiet whisper still having tears fall from his eyes.
‘ even when crying you look beautiful ‘ he thought to himself.
★・・・・・・★
chatness this kinda feels rushed and not really thought out but idk i really wanted to write a fic about this. bakugou is bakugou so i’m a firm believer that in the beginning of any of his romantic relationships it’s very hard. also i was think of writing some of these senarios out idk.
currently working on a kuroo x reader and haikyuu multiple x reader so yeah that’s all booya!
#bakugou katsuki#anime#bnha#mha bakugou#mha#bakugou fluff#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugou#bakugou x you#bakugou x y/n#bakugou katuski x reader#katsuki bakugo mha
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
“OUR LOVE SHALL LIVE, AND LATER LIFE RENEW”
— domestic family moments with gojo, geto, nanami, toji and sukuna (f!reader)
a/n: i was on vacation my babes; my apologies </3 hope you yall enjoy this
GOJO SATORU:
it is no secret that your husband thrives off physical affection, so it surprises no one when he is latched onto you like a koala to a tree, especially at home.
the past couple of days were filled with more missions than gojo would’ve preferred, so to make up for lost time, he spent the entirety of last night cuddling you.
that cuddling session continued to the morning, and satoru couldn’t have been happier.
you, fast asleep and looking oh so pretty, and him, happily burying his face in your chest: the perfect combo.
your husband, however, failed to remember that there is somebody else who would fight day and night for your affection.
that someone comes in the shape of his grumpy little son who is currently standing at the door with a stance that is supposed to be intimidating.
the little boy pouts and is about to yell when satoru—reluctantly—detaches himself from you and stares at him.
“what do you want, s/n?”
your son makes his way to the bed and climbs it up with much struggle, but it doesn’t matter to him since he is satisfied he is finally face to face with his dad.
he crosses his arms and huffs, “I want to cuddle with mom.”
satoru quirks an eyebrow, and his fingers slowly card through your hair. your husband replies with a smirk, “well, I want to cuddle with her too. I miss her!”
“dad, don’t be mean!” your son argues, “you had her yesterday!”
satoru shrugs and lies back down, and you cuddle into his side.
he can’t help himself as he presses a kiss to your head first then looks at s/n, pleadingly, “but I was working a lot this past week; can’t you let me have her just a bit more?”
your son ponders a bit, before settling on a solution that should satisfy both ends. satoru has been away for quite the while lately.
so, s/n simply throws himself on satoru’s chest, making the older man groan. the boy buries his face into his dad’s chest and guides his hand into his hair.
satoru smiles, hand immediately getting to work, patting his son’s head. he sighs blissfully, “you really are my son.”
s/n nods slowly, and he starts drifting off to sleep. satoru is thankful that he closed the curtains yesterday and that he is granted another chance to sleep in with you and his son.
s/n murmurs a soft, “love you, dada.”
it makes satoru’s heart nearly burst as he looks at his son. he immediately replies softly, “I love you too, buddy.”
s/n slowly replies, “you better,” before falling asleep. your husband gently pulls you closer and presses a kiss to the top of your head.
satoru whispers a soft, “thank you.”
he starts rubbing your shoulder comfortingly and leaning his head more towards your own. it is a few moments that pass before he asks, “also babe, are you seriously still asleep?”
“no, I am awake, you silly buffon; you two have never heard of inside voices.”
GETO SUGURU:
the slow creak of the door signals to everybody in the house the arrival of suguru, long before his voice does. little hurried steps rush down the stairs as your husband takes off his shoes.
he looks up with a smile and chirps, “I am home!”
“daddy!” your two girls squeal as they tackle their dad in a big hug. he quickly hugs them back and picks them both up.
they each press a kiss to his cheek, and he returns them tenfold causing them to squeal yet again.
he finally relents before asking them, as he gently twirls around, “how are my pretty girls doing?”
the little girls look at each other then smirk. they both yank out the papers they kept hidden in their pockets before saying simultaneously, “we made drawings!”
suguru face noticeably lights up, and he coos, “these are so pretty! are those supposed to be us?”
the girls nod excitedly, and they each start explaining the details of their own respective drawings.
he listens to both of them intently then asks, “you made sure to make mommy extra pretty, so it can actually look like her, right?”
“yes yes!”
“mommy is the prettiest!”
“I gave her flowers!”
“daddy, daddy, I gave her flowers and a dress!”
your husband laughs lightly, “well, that’s good; both of your drawings are amazing,” he looks around.
with a confused tilt of his head, he looks down at his girls, “speaking of which, where is your mama?”
the girls yell out, “follow us!” then sprint towards where they last saw you, the living room. he quickly makes his way towards you, and he feels his heart soar when he finally sees you.
you see him in the corner of your eye, and as you turn to greet him, your girls throw themselves at you and squeal, “we missed you!”
“you girls just saw me 5 minutes ago!” you chuckle but, nonetheless, hug them back and pepper their faces with kisses.
you hear your husband huff before he picks up the girls by their shirts making them scream and thrash about.
“daddy, put us down!”
“mama, help!”
he throws them both on the fluffy beanbag and pulls you into a hug, “how’s my favorite girl?”
you giggle as he presses soft kisses across your face. his arms wrap around your waist and he squeezes you a little.
you hug him back and gently pat his back, “are you playing favorites, suguru?”
“very much so.”
you hear gasps from your dramatic girls, and you see each one of them arming herself.
your husband purposely ignores them and buries his face into the crook of your neck. you mumble to him, “you are going to get jumped.”
“I know.”
your eyes flit to the girls then to your husband again, “they seem really angry.”
“I know, but at least I am hugging you.”
you quirk an eyebrow, “you okay dying as long as I am hugging you?”
“that’s like the best way to die, love.”
your girls let out a battle cry.
“daddy, you meanie!”
“suffer!”
NANAMI KENTO:
your husband groans, and his hand rises to see what the weight on his chest is. his hand finds a head and a bed of hair that he is all too familiar with.
he slowly opens his eyes and sees your dear daughter laying soundly asleep on him.
a small smile appears on his face, and he lets out a small sigh of both content and relief. he turns his head slightly towards the nightstand and reaches for the alarm.
it reads eleven in the morning, which kento deems the proper time to finally wake up.
so, he looks back at d/n then at you. he remembers how hard you’ve been working the past few days and decides that leaving you to rest a bit more today.
he also decides to prepare breakfast for you but not without his little helper. he pats her head gently and tries to wake her up, “d/n.”
she doesn’t respond, so he calls out again, “d/n.”
she groans and buries her face deeper into his chest. he lets out a small chuckle then rubs her back and says, “come on; we have to make breakfast for mom.”
“but I am tired,” she argues, voice muffled.
“well, mama is tired too, so we need to be nice and make her breakfast. don’t you think so?”
she groans, “yes, but…”
“d/n?” he urges.
the little girl huffs and pushes herself up and looks her dad directly in the eyes—albeit her eyes are squinty and barely open.
it makes him think that she is going to huff then get up to wash her face, but she simply pushes herself off him so she can land in your embrace.
your arms wrap instinctively around her, and she immediately nuzzles into your chest. he stares at the two of you for a bit, rather dumb-founded. then his expression turns into one of fondness.
he turns his entire body towards you.
he is finally face to face with you, and he puts his arm around you to pull you closer. he hears his daughter’s whines and complains about how he is crushing her, but he only smiles.
he looks down at her and hums, “there is plenty of space on the other side of the bed, if you don’t like laying between us.”
she quickly backtracks, “no, no, no; I will stay.”
he nods before looking at you again. he presses a kiss to your forehead and feels his body relax. he murmurs, “just five more minutes, and nothing more.”
your daughter pouts, “not even ten?”
“not even ten,” he says, kissing her cheek, “but I will make it up to you by making pancakes; what do you think?”
she nods happily and mumbles, “we will make the best breakfast.”
“yeah,” he murmurs, joining you in your slumber.
you end up waking up before him but can’t escape your husband’s solid grip. you even look down to see your little angel—maybe—giggling and squealing, happy that you’re finally awake.
of course, it wakes up your husband. but oh well.
TOJI FUSHIGURO:
“stop being a brat and get me the flour.”
“stop being rude first then I will get it for you.”
“what part of what I said was rude, you—”
that’s how it has been for the past hour. toji and megumi had decided to put their differences aside to surprise you with something: breakfast in bed.
it’s quite simple.
they were supposed to make some sausages, eggs, pancakes, and everything they could find really. they wanted to make it a five-star breakfast.
despite their constant bickering, they managed to finish everything, save for the pancakes. it was finally getting closer to the—usual—time of you waking up, so toji was on edge.
he wanted to at least do this correctly.
he thinks of it as a little something to start repaying you for everything you gave him—which he thinks is impossible to actually repay but oh well.
he moves around the kitchen rather clumsily, partially because of his size and partially because of his absence in the kitchen, for good reason, though, megumi would argue.
“dad, the sausages are burnt.”
“shut up.”
“mom likes her eggs a little bit runny.”
“I know.”
with furrowed eyebrows, toji finally gets to mixing the batter. he hears megumi call out, “dad.”
he is a little irked, to be honest, but he responds anyway, “what do you want now?”
“is…”
toji immediately notes the shift in his son’s tone, causing him to give megumi his full attention.
the little boy fidgets with his shirt a little before speaking up, “is there a chance that mom would disappear?”
your husband looks down at the still batter in the bowl. he sighs. it’s a question that he thinks about, at least every week. this haven that he managed to be a part of, is it really permanent?
he has been unlucky all his life, and things are going way too well nowadays. is that the universe’s way of preparing him for the biggest scar of his life?
taking you away?
he closes his eyes for a brief moment, and he finds his hand resting on the top of his son’s head. the little boy’s eyes widen, and he looks up at his dad.
toji frowns slightly and looks away, gently ruffling megumi’s hair and finally saying, “no…I will make sure of that.”
toji locks eyes with megumi, and the two can tell that it’s a silent promise. the boy blushes a little red, embarrassed at the unusual display of affection by his father.
his father grumbles and goes back to making the pancakes.
“my oh my, never thought I would be lucky enough to see you in a kitchen apron,” you tease from the doorway.
megumi instantly runs to the door at the sound of your voice. your son hugs you tightly, mumbling a small, “good morning.”
“you ruined the surprise,” your husband complains as you walk towards him.
you press a kiss to his cheek, which he immediately reciprocates, “I am already plenty surprised.”
RYOMEN SUKUNA:
a giggle leaves your lips as your daughter carefully climbs her father and perches herself on his shoulders. it is amazing how much sukuna lets you and your daughter get away with.
some would argue that your husband has, overall, mellowed down, but then they would get sliced down instantly.
he is still the big, feared king of curses, and people cower in his presence now more than ever, but those—uraume and the servants—who see him with you two can see the difference, even if it is slight.
that can be evident right now considering your husband who is deliberately ignoring your little girl’s antics.
your girl takes it as the okay to what she is doing, so she continues her quiet laughter as she gently starts placing flowers from the basket on his hair.
feeling the movement, your husband groans then looks at you, “what is that brat doing?”
she spreads the flowers out a bit, so they can fill his hair, meanwhile your husband’s annoyance rises.
the assortment of flowers that she placed actually matches well with his hair, and you feel the need to commend her, “you’re doing amazing, d/n!”
she grins as you sit in front of your husband. you look at your little artist doing her thing then smile, “she is making you pretty.”
he scrunches his nose, “by putting flowers on me? I ought to teach her a lesson.”
one of his hands reach for her, and he grabs her by the back of her shirt. she starts squealing and kicking, “daddy, I was almost done!”
he dangles her in front of his face and frowns, “who gave you permission to put that stuff on my hair? who do you think you’re dealing with?”
her face softens, and she mumbles softly, “you’re my dad…”
you coo at her but are quickly silenced when sukuna pulls you to him and nestles you in his lap. he keeps glaring at your daughter—who is trying her best not to cry because he said that it’s for the weak—then he sighs.
he lets go of her, and she screams, flailing her arms around. however, she safely falls in your arms. she whimpers slightly and buries her face in your shoulder.
your husband looks down at her small form in your arms and slowly raises his hand and puts it on her head.
“good on you for not crying,” he lightly ruffles her hair, and your daughter slowly looks up at him, wide-eyed.
he grumbles and looks away, “don’t look at me like that.”
“you love me!” she squeals, and he simply grunts in return.
she quickly gets off your lap and goes to run around the garden. your little girl starts screaming about how her dad praised her, and you feel a grin slowly rise on your face.
but, you suddenly feel your husband’s head lower down and his lips brush against your ears slightly.
you can even hear the smirk in his voice as he says, “looks like you want another one.”
taglist: @magenta-cat-drawingss @pompompurin1028 @scul-pted @requiem626k @nameless-shrimp @sonder-paradise @jessbeinme15s-notebook @todorokichills @ginneko @missrown @shrynkk @simplyxsinned @beautiful-is-boring @starlostlaiba @izukus-gf @irethepotato @thekaylahub @dazaisbloodybandages @aeanya @sweetcloudsimp @moon-catto @the-midnightskies@pianopuppygirl @gojosblackqueen @kryscent @kunikida-simp @whoami-72 @mx-0-child @fiona782 @kisakitwister @imjustasimpxd @psychopotatomeme @dreamcastgirl99 @watyousayin @doobiebochana @laylasbunbunny @hojicha-expresso @4sat0ruu @nineooooo @chuuyasboots @alekssashka7 @rieejjyubi02 @satoryaa @nothisispatrick300 @fallencrescentmoon @etheviese @ho34gojo @the-mom-friend-dot-com @the-weeping-author @stray-npc @libbyistired @anon1412 @anakalana @maehemthemisfit @satorustar @b4nka1 @sad-darksoul @ko-fi-heart @pumpkindudeishere @suyaaachin @babyqueen17 @chaosguy352 @murakami-kotone @sukun4ryomen @yumieis @hearts4itoshi @sleepyxxhead @dunixxd @sleepycrybbylaiah @imjustaduckwholikesbread @emilyyyy-08 @spacebaby1 @arabellatreaty @viscade @washeduphasbeen @janbannan @sugurubabe @enidths @mwtsxri
copyright © tender-rosiey
do not copy or plagiarize or I will make my cousins jump you
#gojo x reader#jjk x reader#nanami x reader#geto x reader#toji x reader#sukuna x reader#gojo x you#nanami x you#toji x you#sukuna x you#geto x you#jjk x you#gojo satoru x reader#geto suguru x reader#toji fushiguro x reader#nanami kento x reader#ryomen sukuna x reader#jjk imagines#gojou satoru x reader#satoru x reader#gojo x y/n
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
my mother is so cruel. god bless.
#i went to drop a coffee off at my aunts house. was nside for a few minutes and when i came out there was a massive puddle under my car and#it was making A Noise. so i tellmy auntimm sordy if your dogs bark at me i migjt need to be in your driveway for a minut#and at this point im assuming its my.power steering. bc it Is leaking#andit was red like my.power steering so i assumed Something Happened. but when i popped my hood.#it was like. idk. maybe it was my antifreeze#it looks like. a cap for something came off somewhere. and#whayever it was#boiled up and Out.#and this has never hapoened to me so i am very stressed trying to figure itnout but im not freaking out at this point. then my mom texts me#and she stsrts getting mad at me. telling me to just fucking drive it and get it out of the damn driveway etc etc and i text her back like#i dont know if i can do that i dont know what happened give me a minute and shes like jesus its just youe antifrweze just come home#and now shws being Mean to me andim Stressed. So I Start Crying#then she starts telling me im making a scene and stressing iut my aunt andbring ridiculous#and its like Im only crying bc yiu are being MEAN TO MEEE#and anyways i end up just driving the damn car when i really Should not have#bc if its the antifreeze You are not SUPPOSED to drice without the damn antifreeze you need coolant in youe damn car but WHAGEVER#it was a short drive. probably no damage.#but then i got home and im still crying and she just thinks im.upset abt the car as if she wasnt yelling at me just moments ago like man.#and listen. i just needed someone to be nice and reassuring that my car wasnt avt to fucking explode
1 note
·
View note