#having Spidey thoughts

[vetyver-soaked-stars]

So I'm going through my brain pan and I'm going through a scenario (not necessarily a What If) but if Dani went a "Black Suit Spidey" route... Would she team up with Venom after being impaled the first time or..would she go anti-venom? Because for her, taking on the symbiote to bond with would take something extreme to happen in her life. ie. death, end of the world, changing point Anti-Venom is a byproduct of having had Venom previously so..does that mean Dani developed the white blood cells to bond with something like that? Do Venom strands just warp your blood?

She really would have to be at the end of her rope to merge with any symbiote offspring too (sorry Andi/Flash/MJ but fuck you Cletus)

[ghostinggg3299]

i wasted my time on this dsfjk,bsgakjgkjfgajk

end me

and of course i have to balance it out with fluff

i wanna squeeze lil mk

[ryssbelle]

Spiderman and Clay bffs for life

Based on the stickers I have on my wall, Clay is a new edition to my spiderman wall lmao

[majiinatc]

peterhobie friendship is one of my favorite spidey friendships in comics and i really love how much they care for each other. how different yet very similar they are to one another. the narrative foils.

bonus:

[demigod-of-the-agni]

A DEVIL REBORN

Happy Halloween!!! A detailed ID will be placed under the cut (it's close to being 1K i could literally post this to Ao3)

p1. ड्याम्म (dyamma) - Nepali for "(feeling) full", "hitting something"

p3. Chutiya - Hindi for "idiot", "moron" and other related insults

p5. க்ரீச் (kreech) - Tamil onomatopoeia describing scraping/screeching sounds

[Extended Image ID: DYAMMA! Slamming his hands on a table, Achanba Okram finds himself in the darkness of his laboratory. He is wearing black clothes and a white lab coat on top, and has a bowl cut with rectangular glasses.

His thoughts whirl within boxes that are coloured gold and are outlined with red; they put a voice to the uneasy feelings Okram knows are stirring inside of him. The thought boxes read:

With Pavitr gone, I finally have time to string my thoughts together. Half-drowned answers bleed out of my pores. Coalescing like some great, abysmal creature of unknown origin.

Bracing his hands against the table, Okram is acutely aware of his body, of the gaping holes in his back that bubble with demonic energy. His thoughts narrate, My body quakes when I begin to question, wracked with paranoia. With dread, as if the idea of what I had to face was unbearable.

The holes in back — four of them, spaced evenly from each other — begin to ooze golden liquid, hot like fire and viscous like tar.

And yet, Okram thinks, I felt it all the same: that crawling, scintillating horror of my reality. Of my tainted flesh and blood. My being here is the work of demonic forces.

Golden arms, fluid yet bony, powered by some otherworldly thing, unravel from the void in his back. They flounder and expand around him, filling the lab with a cold glow. The fingers are tipped with talons, and, if he looked hard enough, Okram swears they are edged with blood.

I died years ago, Okram thinks. I lost my humanity to the fire of the devil's madness. Thus, the question remains: what is the future of Achanba Okram, a DEVIL REBORN?

The lights of the lab suddenly brighten, and Okram hears him before he sees him. His arms register the presence of the other person, immediately unraveling and slipping out of reality. Just outside, Pavitr Prabhakar's voice calls, "HEY, DOCTOR OKRAM! Sorry I'm late! Traffic was abysmal today."

Pavitr's entrance catches Okram by surprise, and he stutters out, "PAVITR?! You- ah- you have one of your shifts today?"

His thoughts reprimand him, You CHUTIYA! Pavitr always has his shifts on Tuesdays!

Pavitr is unaware of Okram's turmoil, sauntering into the laboratory while hefting up a white plastic bag. He's wearing a black and white flannel shirt, and he has circular earrings. Pavitr's eyes are trained on the bag in his hand. He answers Okram's question with, "Yeah, I do. I, uh, got a little hungry along the way (I'm always so hungry)." Pavitr whispers the last part as he lifts the bag up. He continues, "so I went and bought some vada pav, and—"

He suddenly pauses, his eyes locking onto Okram. He can't tell what is going beyond Pavitr's eyes, but the other man's analysing gaze unnerves Okram to a degree beyond description.

(In Pavitr's POV: his Spider-Sense was just triggered. Red and gold squiggly lines emanate from and surround his head in a halo.)

Pavitr lowers the bag slightly in concern. "Uhm," Pavitr says "are you okay, Doctor?"

Dread and fear floods Okram's system. Suddenly he is hyperaware of everything in the room, including the golden arm that has sprouted from his back and was lying on the workbench behind him, right in Pavitr's line of sight.

Play dumb! Okram's mind screams at him. Accordingly, Okram replies, a tad too tightly, "Of course I am, Pavitr! Why wouldn't I be?"

KREECH. The golden arm scrapes its taloned fingers across the table, no doubt giving away its location.

Okram chuckles nervously, sweating almost immediately, at which his mind howls, Not that dumb!

Pavitr narrows his eyes at Okram and at the golden arm on the workbench. "Are those...demonic arms?" he asks Okram, a shadow crossing his face.

(In Pavitr's POV: In the back of his mind, Pavitr sees a vague and faded image forming in response to seeing the arms. He remembers Doctor Octopus, the man with two extra sets of arms who had attacked him many years ago; he was one of the first villains Pavitr fought as Spider-Man. But... Doctor Octopus died a long time ago. Perhaps...?)

"Oh, Doctor..."

Pavitr's gaze softens as he asks, "Are you being haunted by demons? Have you been attacked by them? Why didn't you tell me? I'm so sorry this has been happening to you. I can't imagine how stressful this is for you." A moment, and then, "Do you want to talk about?"

Okram hides his face in his hands, quickly responding, "No, I'm alright, Pavitr."

Pavitr walks forward, placing his bag down and reaching down to place a reassuring hand on Okram's shoulder. "But, Doctor, men of your generation have ignored their mental health for too long."

"Yes, I know," Okram sighs.

"It'll be okay, Doctor," Pavitr promises, "we can figure something out!"

"And what?" Okram asks somewhat sarcastically. "You will be here with me 'every step of the way'?"

"One hundred percent!" Pavitr says.

Behind them, one of Okram's demonic arms reaches out to peer at Pavitr and Okram; if an arm could be happy, it certainly was. The arm is seemingly pleased with Pavitr's helpful and understanding nature. /.End ID]

[merrysithmas]

pals the hype across the net for a spideypool (+ wolverine?) movie is PALPABLE and its giving me life after 84 years of longing

[synth-spinner]

Woke up from a nap and dreamt that superior had 1 scene in spiderverse and almost lost my entire mind and woke up and went oh my god I have to doodle this

[partrin]

headcanon: haruka is mildly afraid of flying bugs but it's okay because his husband, rin, was raised in the land down under and trained to take down ginormous spiders, fight off kangaroos in the backyard and grab magpies by the neck in an attack.

haruka faces a flying cockroach with a can of pesticide but rin gives it the death glare and tries to crush it with his hands.

[femmepeterparker]

Wait... You're onto something. Share your reasons for him bring a stripper

it's mostly just like. an idea that he could be one. once again i have to stress than unless i specify otherwise whenever i talk about peter i'm always thinking of him as over 18, though i always gravitate towards early to mid twenties especially for an au like this.

im writing a fic where he's a stripper but it's not really the focus, it's just his job. he gets it when he's 20ish after complaining about low pay from jameson to wade. wade offers him vanessa's number to see if he can get in at the club she works at and he does and that's basically it. ness and wade are good friends to him in my mind, i think he deserves it.

and i'm really, really trying to make sure ppl know this is a sex-worker positive au. there are so many stories where characters are SWers and hate it and only do it for money. i object to that and insist that peter actually does like his job and what he does and there's actually nothing wrong with it.

bonus consideration: peter in his skimpy uniform and wearing wade's hoodie over it🫶

[bloodonmysqueegee]

When the old hyperfixation comes back with a vengeance, best course of action is to make a spidey au with it

I'm sure someone's drawn a spidey hank before but here's my take on that and his world :]

Just realized most of my followers don't know what madcom is so yes feel free to ask me about this silly au :]]

[warrior-of-storms]

every time I read MCU Peter Parker, an angel loses their wings

[aesdi]

imagine a ghost au for wroef where the family haunts the house, somehow knowing when the “curse” will strike again and able to do nothing about it

[lvebug]

consuming even one (1) minute of spider-man content and andie muse comes soaring back to life

[turrondeluxe]

Watched the movie today and all I could think about was this. (So spoilers but I’ll try to keep it vague)

Miguel seems to be looking for someone to blame. Someone he can take out and kill to make him finally feel like this wasn’t because of him. Some thing. Anything. To make him feel deserving again. He needs to take out all of these non canon things and people, to fix everything to make him feel better. Miles just happened to me the next thing on his list. Idk maybe I’m over analyzing. Sry about rambling your really cool. Hopefully this doesn’t sound out of character

ALSO I LOVE YOUR ART OF HIM and Mikey. I wanted to tell you cause I wanted to know your ideas and opinions (and your just cool so yeah) I’m rambling again..anyway byeeee

AA THANK YOU SM 🥰 AND NO NO WAIT. YOURE SO RIGHT I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE ANALYZE MIGUEL AS A CHARACTER BECAUSE HES SOO INTERESTING.

talking more abt him under the read more (spoilers!)

I think so too!!! Miguel is definitely Extremely guilt ridden by making a whole universe get destroyed because of him (also adding a parent grief depression to the mix). And we can totally see how he actually gets out of his way completely to help by the sheer fact that Miguel is the one who created the spidey society in the first place. He does that out of sheer guilt.

Miguel doesn't want anyone going through what he went trough if he can help it, because he Knows what someone would live trough if they are the sole reason a whole universe perishes because of them. And that's where the problem arises.

The problem is that everyone in there, Miguel included, have all grown emotionally numb to their own trauma and grief.

After seeing the pattern of All spideys losing someone beloved and important over and over and over again countless of times it just kind of makes it seem like that's something that Has to happen. Right?

So until then (before Miles appears where he shouldn't be) everything as it is works, because Miguel hasn't actually met with anyone that came close to what he did. He might be aware of other universes being in jeopardy and maybe even disappear completely but he's still disconnected from it because he decides which problems to intervene.

Until Miles appears out of nowhere in front of him. And I just Know he literally saw himself in Miles. He saw Miles being determined to stop how things Should go. He's seeing himself being selfish again right in front of him. So he decides to take it all out on Miles. All the blame and guilt and grief he feels about himself and how unfair it all is, he took it all out on Miles and blamed him for it.

Because there's truly no one else to blame but himself, but I think he's aware of that. And he doesn't want to forgive himself. at least not yet?

[mydayinthebuilding]

Make Me A Different Person (spiderman!jongseob x gn mutate!reader)

CAST LIST

You as The Experiment… Y/N (unknown last name)

Kim Jongseob as Peter Parker… Jongseob Parker

Hwang Intak as Harry Osborn… Intak H. Osborn

Haku Shota as Ned Leeds… “Soul” Leeds

Choi Taeyang as Michelle Jones… Taeyang M. Jones

Choi Jiung as Harley Keener… Jiung Keener-Stark

Yoon Keeho as President of the Anti-Spiderman Club… Yoon “Pres” Keeho

ACT ONE: PART ONE

“Ow!”

"Watch it, loser!"

The door had opened right into your outstretched hand, and your knuckles screamed in pain, but you desperately tried to control your breathing as Eugene Thompson--aka Flash--scrambled past you. You glanced back at his burly figure and spiky blond hair thudding down the hall, bumping into everyone he could and blaming it on them. You shook your head, and carefully reached for the door again, quickly pulling it open.

You headed to the back of the classroom, holding your hand tenderly.

"Well, Y/N," started the teacher, and you looked up to see that no one else was in there. "Almost all the other kids just left to go on that field trip." He noticed you were in the back of the room. "Have a seat up here. I'm surprised you didn't go--after all, you're one of my top students."

You took a seat in the front, unzipping your backpack. "Yeah, well, I'm fine in your class, Mr. Kang, but science class is a different story."

He chuckled. Then he shrugged into his words: "I didn't have much planned today, so you're free to work on another class... science, perhaps?"

You nodded. "Will do."

You looked down at your hand that Flash had smashed the door into. It was still throbbing and red around the knuckles, but luckily didn't break open any skin. Then you checked the faint Light underneath the skin on your wrist, and took a calming breath when the energy dial was low. It will be fine, you reminded yourself. You shook out your arm, then pulled out your laptop.

The tab currently open was a few of your photography club pictures. You'd had them done for days, but thinking about showing them to anyone gave you goosebumps. You closed the tab, and opened the class site.

Your science teacher had posted an assignment for people not going on the field trip; that included you and only you. As you looked through it, you knew she'd done it simply to irk you, because you were learning about plant biology, not the chemistry behind a spider's venom. Of course, it was clear that the field trip was also useless, since your peers that went weren't required to take notes.

But you weren't about to go on that field trip. They were touring Oscorp, the second best robotics and chemical manufacturing company in the States.

Oscorp was also home to many of your fears. Sure, spiders were freaky, and their robots were always a little creepy to you, but they weren't even half of what truly scared you.

Suddenly, you noticed you'd been pressing the keys down hard, and the screen in front of you was full of the home row letters. You blinked, and put your head in your hands. Palms pressing on your eyes, you tried to focus on the shapes in your mind so you could stop thinking. But every flash of color was like memory lurking just below the surface.

It's going to be fine.

The door opened, and you looked up, eyes readjusting to the light through a squint, and met eyes with a couple students whose pleasant smiles quickly turned to upturned noses.

Your stomach lurched.

A batch of juniors that just so happened to hang with Flash--apparently they'd grown up with him, and kept hanging with him even when he got held back. So, of course, they loved to bully whoever he decided wasn't worth his time.

And that included you.

You felt your muscles tense up, and your heart rate was increasing ever so slowly, but you knew that you'd be fine with Mr. Kang in here--

"Oh, good! You just needed those copies for your project, right?" Mr. Kang said, getting up. "You can stay here and keep an eye on Y/N, though they probably don't need it, and I'll go print those for you."

"Yes, sir," said Julie. She cast you a nasty smile. "Thanks."

And soon enough, you were alone with a gang of bullies. Your hands squeezed into fists as your thoughts turned dark.

There were four of them in total. A tall football boy with greasy blond hair past his ears folded his arms and flexed his chest over them. You thought his name was Connor. A girl holding a phone in front of her face ruffled her coffee-brown hair so she had an extreme side part, and then stuck out her tongue and its piercing for a picture. You didn't remember her name, but knew her follower count was impressive. Then there was Julie's boyfriend, Riley, who had his arm across her shoulders and his chin held high in the air.

But Julie was the clear leader when Flash wasn't around. She held herself so confidently, and twirled her long red hair with one finger in a way that almost seemed like a threat. You swallowed, and gave the best smile you could muster, then glanced back down at your screen. With tense muscles, you sat there praying.

It's fine, you're fine, you're calm, you're normal, you're fine!

She marched over to your desk, but you were glued to your seat in fear. When you met her eyes again, they were livid.

"Good morning," you said. But maybe you really should have stayed quiet this time.

~~

"Does anyone want to take a guess at what percentage of the work done here began in Mr. Osborn’s notebook?”

“Probably one percent, tops,” said Flash, snickering. “If his straight-C's son took after him, that is.”

“Anyone else?” Liz said, shaking her head. She was technically supposed to be learning with the rest of the sophomores, but she was an intern there. They asked her to take the group on a tour, and thanks to her confident smile, Jongseob couldn't take his eyes off of her.

She tucked her dark wavy hair behind her ear, and he watched her bright eyes search the group. He didn’t notice that she’d focused on him. “Jongseob?”

“Sorry?” His face heated up as he glanced away. “Um, seventy percent?”

She grinned. “That’s more like it.” He felt his heart skip a beat when she smiled especially brightly in his direction.

Soul leaned over his shoulder and whispered, “Dude, do you think she’s into you? That was-“

“Shut up, Leeds.” Jongseob nudged in the side. Soul leaned away, laughing.

Liz shook her head once more at another kid, and then Intak raised his hand.

“90 percent.”

“That is correct! Mr. Norman Osborn is the main mastermind behind this company’s projects. Of course, Intak would know more about it than me, but…” She gave a close-lipped smile. “If you’ll look here…”

Soul patted Intak on his shoulder. “Flash just shot you the nastiest look. Should I fight him to defend your honor?”

Jongseob and Intak blinked at him. He hunched over.

“Yeah, who am I kidding? I’m not street smart. I can’t give up my perfect school report to defend you.”

Intak shook his head in a chuckle. “Either way, my father doesn’t reflect what I’m like in school. Flash has a point. I get B’s in my first language, and my dad comes up with all the latest ground-breaking technology.”

"Yeah, I'm not so sure about that," Jongseob said with a laugh. "How could your dad have come up with all of this? He's just a guy."

Intak shoved his hands in his pockets. "You'd be surprised."

“Now, if you follow me to the next room,” Liz announced, opening a door that Flash immediately strutted through, “you’ll be able to see work on the neutralization of deadly spider venom.”

The class gasped a little at the sight of webs strung across the entire room. Flash tensed, and froze in the doorway.

“These spiders live the average amount of time and can eat the same things as usual, but their venom is engineered not to hurt humans in any way.”

“L-let’s go to the next room,” Flash said, backing away.

“Not yet. Are there any volunteers to hold one of these little spiders?”

Jongseob glanced at his friends, but Soul shook his head hard. Intak crossed his arms and smiled sweetly. “Jongseob will!” he called.

His heart dropped. “No, dude, what?”

“Don’t you think it would impress Liz?”

“Come on, Jongseob!” she said.

And then he found himself pushed to the front of the group, presented with a spindly arachnid hanging by a string. Its beady eyes stared down at him, legs wiggling as it lowered itself. It was like it knew what was happening. He held a shaking hand below it, every part in his body already tingling in anticipation and, honestly, fear. He knew it wouldn't hurt him, but he couldn't get over the thought of eight legs crawling all over him.

And then it hit his skin. The whole class seemed to shiver in excitement, watching the nerd hold a bug half the size of his palm. But it did nothing. They just stared at each other.

"See?" Liz offered. "It's entirely harmless."

Jongseob allowed himself a calming breath, and then laughed. It inched down to his wrist. "This isn't so ba- Ow!"

The spider went flying through the air as Jongseob looked down at his wrist in shock. It bit him! It wasn't supposed to injure him in the long run, but the bite was right beside the Light. He shifted his sleeve a little and watched his veins pulse strangely, before reverting back to normal.

"Hey--Jong-" Liz rushed toward him, reaching for his hand, but he flinched away.

"I'm fine! Haha, don't worry. It's not like it'll kill me."

Her brows furrowed, but then she nodded, and turned to the screaming group trying to get away from the rampant spider. Flash was nowhere to be seen.

He looked back down at his wrist. Sweat beaded on his forehead. He swallowed, hard. Then he rushed out the door, knocking into Intak's shoulder on the way. Where were the restrooms? He barely made it to his own stall before collapsing over the toilet, gagging.

~~

"Stupid, stupid, stupid." You patted down the entirety of your backpack and quickly realized your chip wasn't in there. It was like an inhaler for your "episodes", and every time you got too confident in yourself, you let it go missing. And right now wasn't a good time for it to be.

A shudder passed through your body, and your jaw clenched so hard, you thought you might crack a tooth. You glanced at the juniors, and knew immediately that this would be bad. You just had to leave--

"So, Y/N, I hear you got a perfect score on the science homework," Julie started with a smirk. "Oh, wait, you didn't even turn it in. Thanks, by the way, for lending it to me."

She sat on your desk, and you immediately stood up, accidentally pushing your notebook off the desk. The juniors gasped. All you could feel was your blood rushing in your ears. She scoffed, and her friends stepped closer to you.

"It's not like you needed it. Are you going somewhere?"

You tried to take a slow, calm breath, but it sounded angry.

"Got--to--go," you managed, before shoving past a couple of them. They reached out to grab you, but recoiled from your skin. Your arms were rock hard--not because of any muscles, but because of the episode that was beginning. You had to get out of there, before you exploded.

You pushed open the door in a hurry, revealing a shocked Mr. Kang and a stack of papers going everywhere. You couldn't even squeak an apology, and instead tears began to stream down your cheeks as you ran.

"Julie? We need to talk," you heard him say, and then you rounded a corner and slammed into the fire retardant box on the wall.

Its door went flying, and you didn't even bat an eye until you reached the restroom and could splash your face with cold water. You couldn't even feel it, which was a really bad sign. But you kept doing it, hoping that it would reverse the effects. When you started feeling the chill, you stopped, and ripped a paper towel from the dispenser to dry off. You hadn't even noticed the water had splashed all over your front side until then.

"Great." You grabbed another paper towel and tried to pat off the wet splotches on your shirt, but it didn't help. You caught yourself in the mirror and laughed. You were a sight to behold, for sure.

Your eyebags were the biggest thing on your face. Your eyebrows were drawn in a permanent scowl. Worst of all, you could still see the uncontrollable fear of yourself in your eyes. You were disgusting--horrible. You could imagine the headline: "UNDERCOVER FREAK OF NATURE INFILTRATED HIGH SCHOOL." Thanks to Julie and her gang, you were always on edge, wondering which day would be your last at this school. Sometimes you resented her for the fear. Today you found yourself wishing she had won this time. Maybe then you wouldn't have to hide. Maybe then someone would hear you out.

Maybe then you'd get help.

But as you stared into your own soul, you knew there would always be something wrong. You couldn't be fixed. A monster that hid under its own bed was better than a monster running free.

There was a knock at the door, and your head flung toward the sound. "Y/N? It's Mr. Kang."

Your voice stuck in your throat. Glancing down to your wrist, the dial seemed to be cooling down. You shuffled your feet to the door, opening it shakily.

When he saw you, he sighed in relief. "I'm glad you're okay. I had my suspicions about Julie and her friends, but I didn't know they had a problem with you."

All you could do was nod.

He pursed his lips. "Let's go talk to the principal."

You followed him, the sound of shoes on the floor echoing in your ears, but all the while you wondered how you weren't spotted yet. How did he not realize you were the freak? If anyone deserved to be bullied, it was you.

"No one deserves to be bullied, Y/N," he said suddenly. You blinked, and he chuckled. "That must be why you stayed quiet about it, right? Well, you're wrong. You are a great student and a good person."

"Thanks, Mr. Kang." There was really nothing else to say.

"So, you're being bullied? Homework stolen, a couple of sharp words, and you've been physically hurt before?"

"Yes, sir." You looked down at your hands, tugging your sleeve further over your wrist. Mr. Kang had gotten you a dress code sweatshirt to replace your soaked one. It gave you little comfort when speaking to the principal like this.

"I'm thankful for the report." The principal cleared his throat, and finished typing. "However, Y/N, I can't let your own behavior slide. Not fully."

You snapped your eyes upward, suddenly feeling a tingling in your body. You struggled through a calming breath, but your eyes clouded up anyway. "Sir?"

It's fine, it's fine.

"You broke school property today. The fire retardant case is completely smashed on the floor. I'm afraid you'll have to pay if off. Since you're a great student and I don't totally blame you, only worry about two hundred bucks of it."

You released a shaky breath, nodded, and reminded yourself that they really couldn't know anything was different about you. Hardly anything really went wrong, and accidents happen. You could pay this off, and then no one would have to pry further. If only you had the money.

~~

“Hey, Jongseob?”

Jongseob squeezed his eyes shut, tears wetting his lashes. He clutched his stomach gently, leaning a little bit more over the toilet. He was on his knees, keeled over in a public stall, and he’d forgotten to close the door. Well, it was too late now.

“Jongseob, are you in here?”

It was Intak. He wanted to sigh in relief, but every movement he took made him more aware of the nausea building up. He glanced at his wrist again, but the bite was still very prominent.

Can’t harm him? Yeah, right. Stupid, stupid, stupid! He’d always pretended to be the same as everyone else. But the light on his wrist was proof of otherwise. He suddenly gagged, and ripped his hand from his stomach to the toilet seat to brace himself.

The episode came and went, but then he saw that the entire front of his shirt had come off with his hand now on the cool ceramic. Fresh air met his sweaty chest, and he took a steady breath.

Footsteps approached quickly, then, and he knew immediately that Intak was there.

“Oh, man, are you okay?”

Jongseob’s cheeks burned in embarrassment. He wasn’t necessarily a cool guy in front of his friends, but this was sort of humiliating. The son of the creator of these spiders witnessed him basically overreact.

“I’m sorry,” he managed, hanging his head.

No answer. He heard paper rip and water run, and then Intak came back over and pressed a damp towel to his forehead.

“Don’t be sorry. A lot of times the placebo effect really does affect you like this. You know it’s not gonna hurt you, but some part of you still fears it, so your body reacts.”

Jongseob tensed, and finally looked up at his friend. He was shocked to see a kind smile, where there normally sat a reserved frown.

“It’s totally normal, it’ll be fine.”

“I want to go home.”

Intak nodded. “Let’s go. Where’d your shirt go?” Then he spotted it. “Ah.”

“I don’t even know.”

Somehow Intak snuck him out of the crowded building, and got him an extra lab coat to cover up with, no problem at all. He was starting to feel much better, and wondered if he should say he’s fine to go back.

But they were already in a taxi headed to his Aunt May’s house, so he let himself recover. He pressed his palms against the leather beneath him, and stared out the window at the city flashing by.

Oh no—Aunt May! That would not end well. If she saw him come home early looking so sick, she’d ask questions. He knew logically, it wouldn’t be a big deal to lie a little bit, but he also knew he was a terrible liar.

“My dad will pay for any healthcare you need, if you do.”

He sucked in a breath. “No, no, it’s not a big deal. I feel much better by now.”

Intak laughed, “Good! Because explaining this to him would honestly suck.”

Jongseob believed that. Mr. Osborn was a stern man, and he could guess that he wouldn’t be too happy to hear his project was having negative effects. He’d probably care more about silencing this incident than Jongseob himself.

But that wasn’t a big deal.

“Woah, you can’t even see the bite anymore!”

Jongseob jumped and looked down, and realized it really was gone. Like nothing happened. Maybe he really had imagined it. He sighed, looking out the window once more. Intak patted his shoulder with a similar sigh.

The taxi stopped, and Jongseob realized he was staring right at his house. He started, and thanked Intak sincerely, offering to pay him back. As always, that wasn’t an option. Intak waved goodbye and Jongseob turned to face his front door alone.

Unfortunately for him, Aunt May spotted him through the glass of the door almost immediately.

“Jongseob!” she exclaimed when he opened the door. “What- what are you doing back here so early?” She threw down a pile of folded towels—it was laundry day—and reached out to caress his face with soft, cool hands. “You‘ve got a fever.”

“Just a small one, but I guess it was enough to leave early.”

Her forehead creased and her worry lines grew deeper. Before she could say anything, he continued.

“Honestly, I just wanted to leave. It was boring and had nothing to do with class. I have homework to do.”

She stepped back, eyeing him with suspicion. “Alright. Well, help me carry these up to the bathroom and then you can get on with that schoolwork.” She wagged a bony finger in the air, and a smile began to form on her lips again. “You’ve got to keep your scholarship, or you’ll be getting a job!”

Jongseob relaxed, and took the towels with a forced smile, hurrying up the stairs. “Love you, Aunt May!”

“Oh, get on with it!”

But once he’d ducked into the bathroom, he realized there really was something wrong. The towels wouldn’t drop. It was like he was… sticky.

~~

part one out of six.

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[demigod-of-the-agni]

Spider-Man India, but... where from India?

A SUPER long post featuring talks of: cultural identity, characterisation, the caste system, and what makes Spider-Man Spider-Man.

I’m prefacing this by saying that I am a second-generation immigrant. I was born in Australia, but my cultural background is from South India. My experiences with what it means to be “Indian” is going to be very different from the experiences of those who are born and brought up in India.

If you, reader, want to add anything, please reblog and add your thoughts. This is meant to be a post open for discussion — the more interaction we get, the better we become aware of these nuances.

So I made this poll asking folks to pick a region of India where I would draw Pavitr Prabhakar in their cultural wear. This idea had been on my mind for a long while now, as I had been inspired by Annie Hazarika’s Northeastern Spidey artwork in the wake of ATSV’s release, but never got the time to actually do it until now. I wanted to get a little interactive and made the poll so I could have people choose which of the different regions — North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South — to do first.

The outcome was not what I expected. As you can see, out of 83 votes:

THE RESULTS

South India takes up almost half of all votes (44.6%), followed by Northeast and Central (both 14.5%) and then East (13.3%). In all my life growing up, support towards or even just the awareness of South India was pretty low. Despite this being a very contained poll, why would nearly half of all voters pick South India in favour of other popular choices like Central or North India?

Then I thought about the layout of the poll: Title, Options, Context.

Title: "Tell us who you want to see…"

Options: North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South

Context: I want to make art of the boy again

At first I thought: ah geez. this is my fault. I didn't make the poll clear enough. do they think I want them to figure out where Pavitr came from? That's not what I wanted, maybe I should have added the context before the options.

Then I thought: ah geez. is it my fault for people not reading the entire damn thing before clicking a button? That's pretty stupid.

But regardless, the thought did prompt a line of thinking I know many of us desi folk have been considering since Spider-Man India was first conceived — or, at least, since the announcement that he was going to appear in ATSV. Hell, even I thought of it:

Where did Spider-Man India come from?

FROM A CULTURALLY DIVERSE INDIA

As we know, India is so culturally diverse, and no doubt ATSV creators had to take that into account. Because the ORIGINAL Spider-Man India came from Mumbai — most likely because Mumbai and Manhattan both started with the same letter.

But going beyond that, it’s also because Mumbai is one of the most recognisable cities in India - it’s also known as Bombay. It’s where Bollywood films are shot. It’s where superstar Hindi actors and actresses show up. Mumbai is synonymous with India in that regard, because the easiest way Western countries can interact with Indian culture is through BOLLYWOOD, through HINDI FILMS, through MUMBAI. Suddenly, India is Mumbai, India is a Hindi-only country, India is just this isolated thing we see through an infinitely narrow lens.

We’ve gotten a little better in recent years, but boy I will tell you how uncomfortable I’ve gotten when people (yes, even desi people) come up to me and tell me, Oh, you’re Indian right? Can you speak Hindi? Why don’t you speak Hindi? You’re not Indian if you don’t speak Hindi, that’s India’s national language!

I have been — still am — so afraid of telling people that I don’t speak Hindi, that I’m Tamil, that I don’t care that Hindi is India’s “national” language (it’s an administrative language, Kavin, get your fucking facts right). It’s weird, it’s isolating, and it has made me feel like I wasn’t “Indian” enough to be accepted into the group of “Indian” people.

So I am thankful that ATSV went out of their way to integrate as much variety of Indian culture into the Mumbattan sequence. Maybe that way, the younger generation of desi folk won’t feel so isolated, and that younger Western people will be more open to learning about all these cultural differences within such a vast country.

BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SPIDER-MAN INDIA?

Everything, actually. There’s a thing called supremacy. You might have heard of it. We all engaged with it at some point, and if you are Indian, no matter where you live, it is inescapable.

It happens the moment you are born — who your family is, where you are born, the language you speak, the colour of your skin; these will be bound to you for life, and it is nigh impossible to break down the stereotypes associated with them.

Certain ethnic groups will be more favourable than others (Centrals, and thus their cultures, will always be favoured over than Souths, as an example) and the same can be said for social groups (Brahmins are more likely to secure influential roles in politics or other areas like priesthood, while the lowers castes, especially Dalits, aren’t even given the decency of respect). Don’t even get me started on colourism, where obviously those of fairer skin will win the lottery while those of darker skin aren’t given the time of day. It’s even worse when morality ties into it — “lighter skinned Indians, like Brahmins, embody good qualities like justice and wisdom”, “dark skinned Indians are cunning and poor, they are untrustworthy”. It’s fucking nuts.

This means, of course, you have a billion people trying to make themselves heard in a system that tries to crush everyone who is not privileged. It only makes sense that people want to elevate themselves and break free from a society that refuses to acknowledge them. These frustrations manifest outwardly, like in protests, but other times — most times — it goes unheard, quietly shaping your way of life, your way of thinking. It becomes a fundamental part of you, and it can go unacknowledged for generations.

So when you have a character like Pavitr Prabhakar enter the scene, people immediately latch onto him and start asking questions many Western audiences don’t even consider. Who is he? What food does he eat? What does he do on Fridays? What’s his family like, his community? All these questions pop up, because, amidst all this turmoil going on in the background, you want a mainstream popular character to be like you, who knows your way of life so intimately, that he may as well be a part of your community.

BUT THAT'S THE THING — HE'S FICTIONAL

I am guilty of this. In fact, I’ve flaunted in numerous posts how I think he’s the perfect Tamil boy, how he dances bharatanatyam, how he does all these Tamil things that no one will understand except myself. All these niche things that only I, and maybe a few others, will understand.

I’ve seen other people do it, too. I’ve seen people geek out over his dark brown skin, his kalari dhoti, how he fights so effortlessly in the kalaripayattu martial arts style. I’ve seen people write him as Malayali, as Hindi, as every kind of Indian person imaginable.

I’ve also seen him be written where he’s subjected to typical Indian and broader Asian stereotypes. You know the ones I’m so fond of calling out. The thing is, I’ve seen so much of Pavitr being presented in so many different ways, and I worry how the rest of the desi folk will take it. 

You finally have a character who could be you, but now he’s someone else’s plaything. Your entire life is shaped by what you can and can’t do simply because you were born to an Indian family, and here’s the one person who could represent you now at the mercy of someone else’s whims. He’s off living a life that is so distant from yours, you can hardly recognise him.

It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, yeah? But, again, you’re looking at it from that infinitely narrow lens Westerners use to look at India from Bollywood.

AND PAVITR PRABHAKAR DOESN'T LIVE IN INDIA

He lives in Mumbattan. He lives in a made-up, fictional world that doesn’t follow the way of life of our world. He lives in a city where Mumbai and Manhattan got fucking squashed together. There are so many memes about colonialism right there. Mumbattan isn’t real! Spider-Man India isn’t real!! He’s just a dude!! The logic of our world doesn’t apply to him!!!

“But his surname originates from ______” okay but does that matter?

“But he’s wearing a kalari dhoti so surely he’s ______” okay but does that matter?

“But his skin colour is darker so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?

“But he lives in Mumbai so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?

I sound insensitive and brash and annoying and it looks like I’m yapping just for the sake of riling you up, so direct that little burst of anger you got there at me, and keep reading.

Listen. I’m going to ask you a question that I’ve asked myself a million times over. I want you to answer honestly. I want you to ask this question to yourself and answer honestly:

Are you trying to convince me on who Pavitr Prabhakar should be?

... but why shouldn't i?

I’ll tell you this again — I did the same thing. You’re not at fault for this, but I want you to just...have a little think over. Just a little moment of self-reflection, to think about why you are so intent on boxing this guy.

It took me a while to reorganise my thinking and how to best approach a character like Pavitr, so I will give you all the time you need as well as a little springboard to focus your thoughts on.

SPIDER-MAN (INDIA) IS JUST A MASK

“What I like about the costume is that anybody reading Spider-Man in any part of the world can imagine that they themselves are under the costume. And that’s a good thing.”

Stan Lee said that. Remember how he was so intent on making sure that everybody got the idea that Spider-Man as an entity is fundamentally broken without Peter Parker there to put on the suit and save the day? That ultimately it was the person beneath the mask, no matter who they were, that mattered most?

Spider-Man India is no less different. You can argue with me that Peter Parker!Spidey is supposed to represent working class struggles in the face of leering corporate entities who endanger the regular folk like us, and so Pavitr Prabhakar should also function the same way. Pavitr should also be a working class guy of this specific social standing fighting people of this other social standing.

But that takes away the authenticity of Spider-Man India. Looking at him through the Peter Parker lens forces you to look at him through the Western lens, and it significantly lessens what you can do with the character — suddenly, it’s a fight to be heard, to be seen, to be recognised. It’s yelling over each other that Pavitr Prabhakar is this ethnicity, is that caste, this or that, this or that, this or that.

There’s a reason why he’s called Spider-Man India, infuriatingly vague as it is. And that’s the point — the vagueness of his identity fulfils Lee’s purpose for a character that could theoretically be embodied by anyone. If he had been called “Spider-Man Mumbai”, you cut out a majority of the population (and in capitalist terms, you cut out a good chunk of the market).

And in the case of Spider-Man India? Whew — you’ve got about a billion people imagining a billion different versions of him.

Whoever you are, whatever you see in Pavitr, that is what is personal to you, and there is nothing wrong with that, and I will not fault you for it. I will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from Central due to the origins of his last name. I also will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from South due to him practising kalaripayattu. I also will not fault you for saying he is not Hindu. I also will not fault you for saying he is a particular ethnicity without any proof.

What I will fault you for is trying to convince me and the others around you that Pavitr Prabhakar should be this particular ethnicity/have this cultural background because of some specific reason. I literally don’t care and it is fundamentally going against his character, going against the “anyone can wear the mask” sentiment of Spider-Man. By doing this, you are strengthening the walls that first divided us. You’re feeding the stratification and segmentation of our cultures — something that is actually not present in the fictional world of Mumbattan.

Like I said before: Mumbattan isn’t real, so the divides between ethnicities and cultural backgrounds are practically nonexistent. The best thing is that it is visually there for all to see. My favourite piece of evidence is this:

It’s a marquee for a cinema in the Mumbattan sequence, in the “Quick tour: this is where the traffic is” section. It has four titles; the first two are written in Hindi. The third title is written in Bengali*, and the fourth title is written in Tamil. You go to Mumbai and you won’t see a single shred of Bengali nor Tamil there, much less any other language that's not common in Maharashtra (Western India). Seeing this for the first time, you know what went through my head?

Wow, the numerous cultures of India are so intermingled here in Mumbattan! Everyone and everything is welcome!

I was happy, not just because of Tamil representation, but because of the fact that the plethora of Indian cultures are showcased coexisting in such a short sequence. This is India embracing all the little parts that make up its grander identity. This scene literally opened my eyes seeing such beauty in all the diverse cultures thriving together. In a place where language and cultural backgrounds blend so easily, each one complementing one another.

It is so easy to believe that, from this colourful palette of a setting, Pavitr Prabhakar truly is Spider-Man India, no matter where he comes from.

It’s easy to believe that Pavitr can come from any part of India, and I won’t call you out if the origin you have for him is different from the origin I have. You don’t need to stake out territory and stand your ground — you’re entitled to that opinion, and I respect it. In fact, I encourage it!!!

Because there’s only so much you can show in a ten minute segment of a film about a country that has such a vast history and even greater number of cultures. I want to see all of it — I want him to be a Malayali boy, a Hindi boy, a Bengali boy, a Telugu boy, an Urdu boy, whatever!! I want you to write him or draw him immersed in your culture, so that I can see the beauty of your background, the wonderful little things that make your culture unique and different from mine!

And, as many friends have said, it’s so common for Indian folks to be migrating around within our own country. A person with a Maharashtrian surname might end up living in Punjab, and no one really minds that. I’m actually from Karnataka, my family speaks Kannada, but somewhere down the line my ancestors moved to Tamil Nadu and settled down and lived very fulfilling lives. So I don’t actually have the “pure Tamil” upbringing, contrary to popular belief; I’ve gotten a mix of both Kannada and Tamil lifestyles, and it’s made my life that much richer. 

So it’s common for people to “not” look like their surname, if that’s what you’re really afraid about. In fact, it just adds to that layer of nuance, that even despite these rigid identities between ethnicities we as Indian people still intermingle with one another, bringing slivers of our cultures to share with others. Pavitr could just as well have been born in one state and moved around the country, and he happens to live in Mumbattan now. It’s entirely possible and there’s nothing to disprove that.

We don’t need to clamber over one another declaring that only one ethnicity is the “right” ethnicity, because, again, you will be looking at Pavitr and the rest of India in that narrow Western lens — a country with such rich cultural variety reduced to a homogenous restrictive way of life.

THE POLL: REINTERPRETED

This whole thing started because I was wondering why my little poll was so skewed — I thought people assumed I was asking them where he came from, then paired his physical appearance with the most logical options available. I thought it was my fault, that I had somehow influenced this outcome without knowing.

Truth is, I will never really know. But I will be thankful for it, because it gave me the opportunity to finally broach this topic, something that many of us desi folk are hesitant to talk about. I hope you have learned something from this, whether you are desi or a casual Spider-Man fan or someone who just so happened to stumble upon this. 

So just…be a little more open. Recognise that India, like many many countries and nations, is made up of a plethora of smaller cultures. And remember, if you’re trying to convince Pavitr that he’s a particular ethnicity, he’s going to wave his hand at you and say, “Ha, me? No, I’m one of the people that live here in the best Indian city! I’m Spider-Man India, dost!”

(Regardless, he still considers you a friend, because to him, the people matter more to him than you trying to box him into something he’s not.)

*Note: thank you dear anon for letting me know that the third title was Bengali, twas my mistake for literally completely forgetting