#or Calvin having to watch his brother die in the same way he did

[aesdi]

imagine a ghost au for wroef where the family haunts the house, somehow knowing when the “curse” will strike again and able to do nothing about it

[echotrinityme]

Regretful Chapter 6: Operation Jealousy Part 2

Things has been weird lately for Rupert and Henry. Rupert was experiencing flirting from Konrad,of all people. Why you might ask? He didn't know, it was probably a prank...a really bad prank if you asked Rupert.

Rupert's POV

What the fuck is wrong with my life!? I mean, can I go a day without something weird happening to me!

I walked to Henry's apartment, intending to hang out. Gosh! Saying those words made me feel a little sick.

I hate to admit it but I have a crush on Henry. I know it sounds ridicules but I have fallen for him... but I don't know if he feels the same way. I sighed sadly as I made my way to Henry's apartment. However, I as soon I saw his apartment I saw the Bukowski brothers talking to Henry.

Why are they here? And how do they know where he lives?

No One's POV

Rupert quickly walk up to the trio, Henry noticed him and he waved at him, the Bukowski twins also saw him  and also waved at him but a hint if fear in their eyes.

"Hi, Rupert." said Henry, smiling.

"Hey, Henry" said Rupert,annoyed. "What's the carrot tops doing here?"

Calvin and Konrad sheepishly laughed and they rubbed their heads awkwardly, Henry was not looking at them or Rupert. His face was red and he rubbed his arm nervously. Konrad went up to Rupert and he leaned against him, giving him a smirk.

"Hey." said Konrad, slyly.

"Go fuck yerself." replied Rupert, still annoyed.

"Only if you watch me."

Rupert pushed Konrad away from, making Konrad stumbled for a bit. He gained his balance while his brother cackled at him and he turned to look at Henry, who was still not looking at everyone.

"What are you guys doing here?" asked Rupert, again.

"We were just recruiting Henry to help us with a prank." answered Calvin, while smirking. He wrapped an arm around Henry's waist, making him flinched.

"Why?" growled Rupert.

Calvin flinched at his tone but didn't show it, he glanced at his brother for help but held his hands up as he was saying  "I have already done my job". Calvin was panicking on the inside and was trying to figure out an answer that Rupert will be satisfied.

"Cause he needs gave some fun, once in a while." replied Calvin, finally.

"Couldn't you had asked someone else?"

"No."

"Why not June, Hayden, or Hank?"

"Cause of reasons."

"God damn it..."

Rupert facepalm and he grumbled angrily, Henry giggled slightly but went out of Calvin's grasp to walk up to him. Henry put a comforting hand on his shoulder and Rupert smiled at that, the twins snickered quietly behind them. Henry and Rupert glanced at both of them and they quickly shut their mouths.

"They just wanted my help cause of sneakiness." signed Henry, smiling.

"Ok and how do they where you lived?" questioned Rupert, suspiciously. "I was the only was who knew where you lived."

"They probably asked the General for my location or something." replied Henry, sheepishly.

Rupert snapped his head towards the brothers, making them laughed sheepishly again. He sighed heavily and he wondered if he should be concerned or not. Then again, right now he's annoyed.

"Hey, are you ok ?" asked Henry, in concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine." replied Rupert, smiling faintly.

"Are you sure ?"

"Yes."

"Let me know if you need help, okay ?"

"Sure, Hen."

Their faces became red when Rupert said that, they have never used nicknames before. Henry became sad after hearing that nickname, the last time someone used that was Charles. He bowed his down in sadness, he misses Charles so much.

"I got to go." said Henry, quickly. He left before anyone can stop him.

"What's wrong with him?" asked Konrad, watching Henry run to an unknown direction.

Calvin shook his head and Rupert was worried for Henry, he ran after him making the twins confused and angry cause they were left behind.

Henry ran until he stumbled upon a clear patch of dirt filled with patches if grass and a few rocks, there were also big rocks and Henry found one he can sit down and leaned against it. He sat down and exhaled a sharp breath, he was feeling pain and sadness.

Henry's POV

Sometimes I feel like I'm getting worse, instead of getting better.

I looked at the trees, rocks, the grass, and I saw more of the same things. I also glanced up at the sky and saw some white, fluffy clouds. My eyes started to sting and I quickly wiped them away, I didn't want to cry.

I done so much of that already...Why am I like this?

Am I ever gonna get over his death? Why am I torturing myself? Some part of me doesn't want to live...I don't deserved to be alive.

If it weren't for me...he would have still be alive. Why did he have to be the one that had to die? I didn't realized I was shaking until I rubbed my arms together as if I was freezing, why is it so hard to get over Charles' death.

I wished I have never met Charles.

I wish I was dead instead of him.

No One's POV

Henry put his hands in face and cried. Rupert was looking for him and found him crying against a rock, he sighed sadly and went over to him. He sat down next to him and hugged him tightly, that made Henry sob harder.

Rupert kept hugging him while he was, what he didn't realized he was too crying. A few moments later, Henry stopped and wiped his eyes. He felt a warm body pressed next to him, he turned to see Rupert with his eyes closed. He also noticed some dried tear stains on his face which made him sad a little.

Rupert opened his eyes and look at Henry who's face was pink, "Feeling better?" asked Rupert, softly to Henry.

"Kinda." replied Henry, whispering. "I feel fine but have a huge headache."

"Did I say something wrong, earlier?" asked Rupert, sadly. "You ran away before I can say anything."

"No, it's just that you said my nickname that Charles gave me before he died." replied Henry.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"I guess that triggered you and that's why you ran off."

"Yeah, I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I didn't know that, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It will probably be a while before you can use that nickname."

"Okay."

They both got up and headed back to the base, the twins were waiting for them. When they saw them, they ran up to them and asking them all sorts of questions. Henry was overwhelmed but Rupert asked the twins very nicely(Keyword: nicely) to ask their questions some other time, the brothers got the message and scram.

The next couple of days was slow and weird for Rupert and Henry. Calvin was still flirting with Henry, making him uncomfortable and Rupert pissed off. Konrad dose the same thing with Rupert but he will be more aggressive than Henry.

One day, the General had a mission that involved the Toppat clan. It was the same mission that The General told Henry before, the Government managed to find some Toppats in disguise. Apparently there's a huge gala involving rich socialites and there some Toppats blending in to recruit or steal some valuables.

Henry, Rupert, Calvin, Konrad, Victoria, June, Hayden, and Hank were in the General's tent while he was explaining the plan. Rupert wanted to work with Henry on this one but Galeforce chose Calvin to be Henry's partner this time, which boggled their minds on why. Calvin and Henry were going undercover as socialites.

After the rest of the meeting was done, the General asked if they were any questions. Rupert raised his and Galeforce looked at him.

"Yes, Rupert?" said Galeforce.

"Excuse me for asking this but why are you assigning this mission to Calvin and Henry?" questioned Rupert.

Calvin looked offended at the question and Henry blinked owlishy at Rupert, Galeforce seemed amused at that question.

"Henry needs to bond with other people besides you." replied Galeforce. The way he said it sounds amused.

"Why?" asked Rupert, again. He facepalmed at himself mentally and wondering why he keeps on talking.

"Are you jealous, Rupert?" asked Victoria, slyly. She was smirking and everyone sans Henry was giggling.

"No!" exclaimed Rupert, face scarlet. He crossed his arms and pouted.

"Ok, ok, ok, that's enough." said Galeforce. "We have a mission to discuss."

The rest of the meeting went on and everyone else got their parts, the General dismissed them and everyone left the tent.

Rupert and Henry had a feeling that the mission will be interesting.

[themadauthorshatter]

... What time is it?

Toppat!Henry time!

In case you're just now tuning in, you can catch up with the links below:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4 and revision

Part 5

Part 6

In the last part: Charles made it to his destination, The Wall, and got more intel on Henry and his seni-estranged father, who payed his son a little visit. However, when the Toppat Clan arrived and caused another outbreak, Charles failed to escape and was captured by Henry, who let slip what he was REALLY after.

Just a heads up for this one, too, TW if you will: there's A LOT of Stickvin in this one and unwanted touching and getting into physical and mental personal space.

With all that out of the way, BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM!

We start off with Galeforce outside as he stares at the sky, hoping there's a Wall helicopter coming with Charles piloting it.

It's been a couple days and there's been no call or sign from the pilot, so everyone's on edge.

Calvin and Konrad approach the General and take a seat next to him.

"Think he's alright?" Konrad asks.

"He's Charles," Calvin replies, feigning confidence. "Of course he's alright. He's made it out okay other times, so..."

Konrad hums and holds a knee to his chest. "Still hope he's alright."

"Me, too, boys," Galeforce says, surprising them both. He's still watching the sky and keeping his eyes off the twins. "Me, too."

Funny that they talk about Charles because, CUT TO THE ORBITAL STATION!

Charles is hanging by his wrists in a cell as he comes to with a groan.

TV/camera perspective we'd see his vision is blurry and swimming around from getting knocked out by Henry, who's standing in front of him with a very 'waiting' look on his face; he's not being impatient or showing concern or anything like that, he's just watching Charles wake up and regain his focus, which he does. He's not in the Wall uniform anymore, by the way.

Charles shakes his head and tries to talk, but stops when he realizes he's gagged, with tape over his mouth that's from ine side of his jaw to the other.

He also remembers what happened in the woods and fully wakes up, looking around in complete shock.

"Sleep well?" Henry asks.

Charles looks back at Henry and glares at him, mentally calling him every swear in the book.

Henry only smirks and shrugs. "I got worried I hit you too hard, that's all. Just a friend looking out for another friend."

Charles throws a kick at Henry for that, shouting behind the tape.

We are not friends.

It only amuses Henry more and he walks in a circle around Charles, moving slow enough and out of reach to taunt him; 'Go 'head. Kick me. What's stopping you now?'

Charles only watches him, glaring as he waits to see what Henry will do next.

"I guess you're still wounded by my 'betrayal,' right?" Henry asks as he stops at Charles's side.

Charles sharpens his glare further.

"Since you're clearly not listening, I'll reiterate."

Henry stops smirking and leans into Charles's ear.

"You. Kidnapped. Me. Why would I want to help anyone after that?"

Charles cringes at the lack of space, but drops his gaze, at least before looking back at Henry and replying to him, despite the tape over his mouth.

Henry moves back in front of him and yanks the tape off, causing Charles to yelp.

"I didn't get that. What were you saying?"

After a second of light panting and rubbing his lips to get the stinging away, Charles fixes his glare back on Henry. "I said, we were going to pardon you, if you helped us."

Henry folds his arms over his chest. "Were you? Because, to me, it looked like you weren't going to let me free at all."

"I wish that was the case," Charles snaps.

Henry, not appreciating the salt, rests a hand on Charles's side, under his coat and on his shirt, where his injuries are. The action makes Charles get a little uncomfortable and nervous, especially when Henry feels the bandage that holds Charles's ribs.

"Careful," Henry warns as he pushes his thumb on the bandage. "You're not on Earth anymore. There isn't anyone here that's going to save you."

Charles winces, but glares again; he'd love to kick Henry again, but doesn't want to know what he'll do if he does.

"I don't need anyone to save me."

Henry raises an eyebrow and smirks. "Really? Then why were we interrupted during the heist? If you don't need saving, then how were you going to escpae?"

This time, Charles does kick Henry again, but harder this time, enough to knock him into the wall.

Henry grunts when his back hits the wall, but Charles smirks, proud of himself.

"That's how."

Henry scowls at him before chuckling. "What stopped you that day?"

"You held a GUN to my head."

Henry shakes his head and paces around Charles again, the pilot watching as closely as he can from where he's hanging.

"I've always wondered why you were in the military. Why you are a pilot, of all things, and why does the General keep you so close to him? I thought higher-ups didn't play favorites."

Before he can answer, Charles stiffens when he feels Henry lean against him, the two being back to back.

Henry plays coy, however, folding his arms over his chest and tipping his head back. "I was wondering why you didn't arrest me, at least, seeing as how that was your mission. It got me thinking.

"How many people have you lost? And why would it lead you to spare me when it really mattered?"

Charles pulls at his restraints while Henry's distracted, not wanting to continue the conversation.

You know that gesture where someone snaps their fingers and points up as they say, "Ah"? Henry does that, like he's pretending a lightbulb goes off in his head.

"I remember now."

Henry turns and wraps his arms around Charles, under his arms, one hand on Charles's shoulder and the other on his head and forehead, toying with his hair.

"No one wants to deal with a show-off, especially when he's the youngest pilot in the force."

"That has nothing to do with it," Charles replies through gritted teeth.

"Right. Which begs another question: Why a pilot? Who did you lose to make you go down a path that would leave you so lonely in the end that you'd try befriending a thief?"

"I have friends," Charles barks. "I just don't like getting them hurt."

Henry stares at the floor and simply hums at Charles's words. "How noble. Tell me, have any of these friends ever... returned the favor? If you don't want them getting hurt, then shouldn't they try doing the same for you?"

Charles opens his mouth to say 'yes,' but hesitates as he thinks about how they didn't follow him, but they weren't supposed to, as established by Henry and Charles during their agreement.

Henry, however, takes it as Charles simply not having an answer.

"Funny how you're willing to almost die for those two twins. What else are you willing to do to keep them safe?"

Charles turns and glares at Henry. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Henry moves his hand to Charles's hip, which further disturbs Charles because he doesn't like being close enough to an enemy to be checked for a hernia(please tell me you got the reference. Breaking Bad, btw).

"Just wondering what you'd do, if we decided to pick up those twins you're close to and bring them here."

That implication/threat is the last thing Charles needs to hear, and his glare drops into a look of panic as he watches Henry walk around him until they're face to face; trained soldier be damned, he cares for the twins like brothers, and he doesn't want them anywhere NEAR Henry or the orbital station.

"Don't."

"What about Officer Price? I'm sure he'd be more than happy to see you."

"Dont."

"Or what?" Henry barks. "You're already trapped here, so fighting isn't going to help you."

"If you want to know where that stupid sappire is, it's in the ocean," Charles snaps. "We broken it into pieces and spread across the water! Beyond that know one knows where it is!"

Henry leans close to Charles and rests his arms and hands against Charles's.

"You and I both know that's a lie."

Charles glares again. "What'll you do, if I don't tell you? Go back to the base and the General will make aure you don't leave, but keep wasting your time with me and you'll never find it. And I'll die before telling you, so you might as well let me go."

Henry smirks and lowers his hands until he's holding either side of his head.

"All good things come to those who wait, Charlie."

The two stare at each other for a little bit before Charles gulps and breaks the silence:

"Just... for the sake of argument, let's say I did tell you where the sapphire is. Would you let me go?"

I should note here Charles is not really going to snitch on the twins. He's more testing the waters to see what his choices are here.

Henry's smirk grows and brushes some hair out of Charles's face.

"Like I said before: why would I ever want that?"

With that Henry backs away and leaves, turning his back to Charles, who watches him put in a finger swipe code on a panel and hears rattling as he leaves, tossing something up and down in his hand.

Hope you paid attention to Henry moving his hand because the thing he's tossing up and down is Charles's ADD medicine, which Charles instantly notices and gets a cold sweat as he realizes he's now against the clock for getting to the panel and escaping; he needs all the focus he can get and cannot do that without his medicine.

"You'll come around eventually. Until then, enjoy your stay."

The door closes behind Henry and Charles listens to him leave, hearing his shoes against the floor.

Once Henry's gone, Charles tugs and pulls at his restraints again, more desperately and panicking when they don't give.

Seeing he won't be breaking the cuffs and aching from his wounds, Charles stops and screams to the ceiling, swearing and calling Henry a bastard.

[inhibited-irregularity]

EUROVISION 2021, personal favorites:

- Russia 🇷🇺

Manizha, Russian Woman: Absolute favorite. The sheer originality of the song! Her energy and the level of absolute badassery! She can sing, she can rap,and she's a bomb of energy. The way reggae and brass and hiphop and Slavic melodies overlap and it somehow works, the transitions between fun and "I'm bitter about the sexism and I'm mocking it unapologetically and making a stand" and the anthemic, emphatic and powerful message to Russian women; I was swelling with emotion while watching her. While to an American or a Westerner it may seem like performative feminism, I'm gonna remind you that in Russia and other Slavic countries that's very much not a thing and actually a very unpopular stand to make, and in Russia, The Balkans, and Eastern Europe in general, hundreds of women face domestic and sexual abuse on the daily, and those who do come forward rarely get support and are mostly dismissed. Let's not forget that Manizha got a huge backlash from the Russian government officials, and a big part of it was for her Tajik roots. The honesty of her message is real, and she's speaking from personal experience and the experience of women around her - nothing performative about her song, and you can tell from her delivery that the fire within her is true and she leaves her heart on the stage and pours it into the song. The staging and costumes are great as well, and symbolically well thougt-through. I would really like her to win, or at least get to the top 5. Most of all, I hope her message is heard and felt. 10000/10

- Italy 🇮🇹

Måneskin, Zitti e Buoni: definitely the closest thing to my actual music taste this year, so liking them off the bat wasn't a surprise. However, they're not just your regular Franz-Ferdinand-ish young alt rock band that wants to do rock "properly" - they have IT. The X factor, the Je ne sais quoi. I've been exposed to that particular genre, and I can confidently say that the song still manages to be refreshing and original (that bridge, those riffs!) The band has a great energy and no matter how much Damiano steals the show, they are still a unit and nobody is left in the shadows. They have the spirit of great rock bands of the previous century, and yet they don't try to copy anyone (khm,Greta Van Fleet, khm). Damiano's vocals are both powerful, seductive and provoking, and I'm still admiring the sheer amount of emotion he can pack into a single line and the nuance and yet rawness behind it. I'm not gonna state the obvious lol (the obvious being yes, I'm thirsty as well, he becomes yet another unattainable rockstar for me too,and yes they all look great) Anyway, great song, and maybe the clearest and most serious candidate for the number one spot, taking both the jury and the public into consideration. 10/10

- Iceland 🇮🇸

Daði Freyr and Gagnamagnið, 10 years:

What can I say about this masterpiece that hasn't already been said? A clear fan-favorite (hi, Valentina), but with the guns to back it up. The song is contagious, fun and campy, and unlike some other songs with said qualities, actually good from a musical perspective. Daði is incredibly charismatic and his sense of humor shines through, and even though he's the star of the show, the same can be said about the other band members. The synergy Måneskin has can be applied to Gagnamagnið as well, even though the energy is entirely different. They're serving us fun, sunshine, kitties rainbows sugar spice and everything nice, and manage to do it with zero cringe factor (plus those funky keytars). I'm one of those Eurovision fans that lament the golden age's (2004-2009) campiness (We'll never forget you, Verka), and Daði managed to bring it back, but modernised, polished and still sincere. I personally preferred the epic dad joke that slightly more commercial Think About Thing was (but that's one tough act to follow), but I'm always down for a husband adoring his wife and singing praises to their relationship. Since we're on tumblr, I feel obliged to use the term "cinnamon rolls" in describing Daði and the band. 9.5/10

- France 🇫🇷

Barbara Pravi, Voilà: She brought the theatrics, she brought the drama, and she brought the 101 in "that's how you perform". Her personality leaps through, and her voice is both beautiful and full of emotion and power. I'd hire her to star in a serious and artistic movie. Despite the fact that Voilà is from its melody to the singing style to the video to the vibe and the aesthetic hands down the most French thing I've seen since Amélie (do not come for that movie), it miraculously doesn't come across as a cliché, but rather an homage, and an individualistic one at that. It's not entirely my cup of tea, since I'm usually biased to songs that may come off as snobbish (I mean, the jury is going to lap it up), and are all about being proper and technical and oh how ~artistic~, but Barbara puts the soul into the immaculate. I'm not giving her the highest mark because I'm yet to see the performance, but I'm rooting for her. If she delivers the performance, we might have a clear winner. 9/10

- Ukraine 🇺🇦

Go_A, Shum: I'm a sucker for all things ethnic and mytological, so this was a no-brainer. I want that song played at every party. I want to go to the forest in the video and chant and summon the spring with flute and hard-bass. Kateryna Pavlenko has some unexplainable power over me, and her eyes are simply hypnotizing. The vocals are great, proper Slavic ethno right there (seriously, check out Slavic folklore and traditional music), and she has a subtle punk quality too(?). Ukraine came to save the spring and make us forget about the pandemic, and minus the Maruv fiasco (justice for her!), they always deliver and I expected nothing less. On the other hand, I loved the original version much more and couldn't help but be a bit disappointed with the revamp (yes, I know they had to), and while I personally love Shum, I think some other acts are more deserving of the higher placement. Go_A are not my winner, but definitely soon to be in my playlist. 8/10

- San Marino 🇸🇲

Adrenalina, Senhit ft. Flo Rida: You know that golden age of Eurovision I mentioned? THIS. I'm Serbian, so I can't resist a banger reminiscent of our horrible turbo-folk elements (and I say that endearingly,takes me back to 18th birthday parties (boy I'm glad that's over)). Let's just crown Senhit this year's Queen of Camp. The wild factor of Flo Rida...just?? Amazing. Can't wait to see how the performance goes (EDIT- it went great, I had a grin on my face the entire time and couldn't help but dance along). A certain refreshment after Serhat and Valentina Monetta endless loop. They didn't dial down the weird, but made it catchy af, and the vocal can rival any Balkan folk diva. While I think it's definitely the most entertaining entry this year, it's far from being the most original, and it's not really my genre of preference. Will vote for Senhit and root for her to qualify. 7.5/ 10

- Sweden 🇸🇪

Tusse, A million voices: As I mentioned before, I'm the first person that starts complaining about Sweden Superiority as soon as Eurovision season begins, and I'm with you all with being tired of Sweden qualifying just because they're Sweden and usually just bringing the same brand of MTV/Calvin Harris/American pop, or a successful and not-so-subtle imitation of the performances that did well the previous year,but listen: A million voices is a solid pop song and I'm going to die on that hill. It actually embodies the essence of pop - a catchy, pleasant melody sung by a good vocalist, with a short,sweet and uplifting message. It's not the same as previous years, it's not commercial, just good pop - good pop being something you immediately like and vibe to no matter how many common elements of the genre it checks. It relies on RnB rather than electronic sounds, auto tune or various DJ effects. Tusse is charming and charismatic af, and he's a 19yo kid doing an amazing job on a global stage. You don't have to like it, but there's no need to hate on it (ask Jendrik). Imo, Tusse deserved to qualify. Not winner material yet, but I wish him a fun time and a successful career. 7 5/10

- Switzerland 🇨🇭

G'jons Tears, Tout L'Univers: I saw the video first, and I HATED IT. It came across as a Duncan Lawrence-high-art wannabe, something technically perfect, but empty of soul or meaning, another soft boy with a sad falsetto, another jury-points bait. BUT. I changed my mind entirely after seeing him perform. Hands down, it was touching and epic. Reminding me of Hamlet aside, he DELIVERED, and made me love him, and actually enjoy the song. I still think the song is less original than Tusse's voices, but I enjoy the troubadour vibes of the pre-chours. G'jon is absolutely adorable, and I'm not gonna be mad if he wins. 8/10

shout-outs&honorable mentions:

- Serbia 🇷🇸 Yes, some national bias, but I'm proud of our girls. Ever Since we placed 2nd with Željko's Lane, we had that goddamn flute e v e r y year, and the same outdated scenography with a side of extra pathos (I'm sure that ruined Sanja's chances and her otherwise great performance back in 2016.) Finally something fun and actually representative of the music popular here. They looked flawless and the energy was off the charts. Go, Hurricane!

-Finland 🇫🇮 Yes, cheesy and corny and I cut my finger accidentally from watching the video on all the edge, but I'm biased because they're bringing emo and nu-metal back, and that's the music of my early adolescence (hello, Kaulitz brothers and Andy Biersack,hello Gerard Way and Linkin Park) Call me grandma lol

- Malta 🇲🇹 DESTINY CAN SIIIIIIIIING! I wasn't impressed with the song initially, but the performance blew my mind.

- Ireland 🇮🇪 A for effort, and so nice of her to try and give us something unique! While it wasn't good enough to qualify, it was super fun and she seems so nice. Also, we all know that she was out of breath an can sing much better than that. Still wasn't bad.

- Romania 🇷🇴, for being so young and brave enough to put on a show. The nerves got the better of her, but the song itself is good and no doubt she'll do well in the future

- Lithuania 🇱🇹, thanks for the memeries

- Croatia 🇭🇷, Not my cup of tea, but Albina gave a great performance

-Norway 🇳🇴, for embodying the spirit of Eurovision

- North Macedonia 🇲🇰, for the disco chest

- The UK 🇬🇧, for putting some effort

(Might edit later)

[justalokifanaccount]

Episode 5-Play by Play Reactions (Spoilers)

Bruh I’m so friggin excited

Thanks for reminding me of mobius and Loki being pruned… I totally needed that

Man tom has really beautiful eyes

IM SO EXCITED FOR ALLIGATOR LOKI

Back in the TVA huh?

Upside down Dutch camera angle huh?

I really hope they introduce Kang, I mean, Ravonna IS Kang’s GF in the comics

Okay we left the TVA

Ruined New York purgatory?

Digging this soundtrack

Alioth??? Hello??? Who is you???

Ravonna doesn’t know either? Hmmm I don’t trust her

BRUH I CALLED IT!!! THEY CANT DESTROY TIMELINES THEY CAN ONLY CUT THEM OFF

I don’t believe her… if she really wanted to know who was behind this after watching the timekeepers prove to be fake then why on earth would she prune Loki then huh?

GATOR LOKI IS SO CUTE

Damn emotional Loki

“Which I’m heartbroken to report I didn’t even find all that strange.” Poor baby

Bruh stop trippin

Bruh I’m trying so hard not to laugh rn. The way old Loki is talking to alligator Loki is killing me. I have been watching Jessie recently with the kids I babysit and now I’m being reminded of Mrs. Kipling, the Asian water monitor.

Loki is so done with this lmaoo

Okay wow these subtitles are having big trouble keeping up and staying accurate…

Poor Loki lmao

Kid Loki killed thor oh my gosh

How??? Why??? But Loki isn’t evil!!! Well, maybe THIS version is I guess…

Oh hey Mjolnir

Wait what’s in the jar?? IS THAT FROG THOR? THROG?? OH MY GOSH IT IS

Bruh they all have glorious purposes

Loki don’t be a simp

Mall Santa throne

Miss minutes is back

Miss minutes is sus

I still don’t trust Ravonna

Called it

Treacherous biotch

She’s behind it I know it. Working for her BF Kang

She’s behind it bruh I know

Just one good memory?? AGHHHHHH MY BELOVED

She pruned herself!!!

SYLVIE MY BELOVED

Lmaooooo black Loki liar

Haha alligator Loki ate the neighbors cat

Bruh I’m getting major Paradigm vibes (you need to check out that game if you haven’t)

“But blades are worthless in face of a Loki sorcery” at least THIS man gets it

He missed his brother and of course the TVA goes “hahaha no you’re not allowed.”

God of Outcasts is better than the Loser Club don’t @ me

Sooo whats black Lokis past then? And what about more of kids Loki?

Lmao sounds terrifying as a woman Loki

Please don’t make Sylvie the crutch to save the day. Let tom hiddleston be the hero please

They’re gonna laugh at his plan

Called it

OH EVEN MORE LOKIS HOW LOVELY

PRESIDENT LOKI

Oh hey Sylvie

You in a nest?

Oh my

Girl you better run

Hahahahaha uh oh

Oh my! She’s sending stuff

MOBIUS OH MY GOSH YES

I’m calling it now it’s him

YES YES YES YES YES

HELL YEA MY GUY

Two tom Hiddleston’s

So how did he get an army

Lmao

The chaos is palpable

OH??????

WHAT

ALLIGATOR LOKI BIT OFF PRESIDENT LOKIS HAND AND THEN HE SCREAMED LIKE A LITTLE GIRL

I’m not so happy about the way that ended. At least not with the girlish scream from president Loki… seemed wildly out of character.

I’m so confused

I have no idea how to feel

Lmao TVA Loki is so damn confused and over everything

Alligator Loki didn’t betray you!! He’s a good boy!

How do you know it’s a death sentence??? Huh??? Maybe it’s the answer!

Sooo does every single pruned person ever get sent here or his mobius also a Loki?

HAHAHA I CALLED IT! ALIOTH IS THE ANSWER.

Cannibals huh? Lovely

Hold on guys it’s Lokis love

“Is he a coward or is he being brave?” “Not too sure.” Same

REUNION BABY

Us as an alligator

Stop bickering

Please please please give Loki a good moment. Let him be badass please for God’s sake

What happened to the hunter from the last episode?

Oh here we are

Please they better not hurt her

I know she wasn’t trustworthy. Gosh I hate Renslayer.

She’s still tryna protect whoever gave her power. Renslayer I will revel in your defeat.

Man I’ve missed mobius

Mobius cares about Loki!!! Even Sylvie knows!

Wdym it’s cold? Homie your a frost giant

LOKI CAN CONJURE BLANKIES. New fanfic idea oh heck yea.

Lmao oh great they’re in denial about feelings

Awkward teens in love

You have Loki!

Oh gosh the awkward tension!

AWWWWW HE SHARED THE BLANKET

It’s like watching two awkward teenagers on their first date ever in their lives.

Yea loki but you were also betrayed by your father and home sooooo

Loki. You know you can be happy without ruling.

Together.

Oh my gosh my heart is loving the awkwardness

What the freak are those bird like things

Still better than the devils anus

I need Sylvie to teach Loki how to enchant

He’s sticking beside her

FLAME SWORD HELL YEA

Conjured a hilt. Can you please conjure a badass asgardian outfit too?

Burn it to the ground.

OH MY GOSH I KOVE THEM ALL

Hug

Hug

Hug

Please

YESSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

HE CALLED MOBIUS A FRIEND

Mobius how dare you call Sylvie your favorite

Tom you will always be my favorite

Reminds me kind of Dormamu

The skull in alioth looks like a wolf skull

Loki if you get yourself killed I’ll never forgive you

Is this where he does the come and get me?

CALLED IT

Flame sword babyyyy

What’s going to work? Teeeeaaaamwork

LOKI TEAM UP

HOLY CRAP THAT LOKI IS POWERFUL

HOMIE RECREATED ASGARD

HOLY CRAP

ENCHANT TOGETHER YESSS

OH MY GOSH

THIS IS SO COOL

Cmon Loki you can do it!!

Save old Loki cmon!

YESSSSSSAAAA

SAVE HIM PLEASE

Please

Pease

Please

Glorious purpose

Don’t die please

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

No….. MARVEL STOP KILLING OUR LOKIS FOR GOD SAKE

They did it! But old Loki is gone… and I’m sad…

Where’s kid Loki and gator Loki?

Are we not gonna see black Loki again? I was excited for him

Don’t you dare go to credits

YOU SONNUVA

At least it ended on a happier note this time…

But I miss old Loki already… please tell me he’s not dead… but I suppose since pruning already doesn’t kill them, it’d be cheap to have Alioth also not kill them..

Rest In Peace old Loki. You died with honor in battle… you will be in Valhalla. I know it.

I heard the Kablooie gum was a reference to Calvin and Hobbes and lemme just say that is the best thing ever

Dang no end credit or mid credit scene

Wow this was a crazy episode. Some parts I loved, some parts I was very much not happy with. Mostly the scene with president Loki. I hoped that would be much longer and that it would play more into the overall story, not just a throwaway scene to reference a comic and have a quick laugh. I’m fine with alligator Loki biting off that Loki’s hand, but not with the childish scream afterwards… that felt very out of character.

Can’t wait for the final episode!!! Nothing better happen to Loki or Sylvie. I hope we get to see the other Lokis again. I also want to know more about kid Loki and black Loki. Why did kid Loki kill Thor and how? What’s up with black Loki and what was his nexus event? We didn’t even get to learn about his hammer. I’m fine with not learning about alligator Loki. It’s fine to have that be a fun mystery imo. It was funny seeing throg very briefly too. But I have too many questions that I know won’t be answered in only one more episode which is disappointing. Maybe we can learn more in the supposedly confirmed season two? I hope so. I’m really curious about how they are going to wrap things up and what the fates of everyone will be. I hope this isn’t an isolated event that doesn’t tie into phase four at all. I really want Loki in Multiverse of Madness. Not just Sylvie although idk if we can get both of them in, but I don’t want this show to be Sophia Di Martino’s only appearance in the MCU.

I trust tom Hiddleston but I know marvel doesn’t always allow him to shine through as much as he could. I’m so hopeful for this show but my anxiety is also skyrocketing.

[mysterioh]

Saajan Ji Ghar Aaye - Chapter One

Bucky Barnes x Desi!Reader

Synopsis: After a brisk romance in London, Bucky follows you back to your home in Upstate New York where the preparations for your marriage to the son of a family friend are well underway. As the inevitable countdown to your wedding begins, Bucky remains optimistic in his pursuit of your love and your family’s acceptance.

Arranged Marriage/Forbidden Lovers AU

“Saajan Ji ghar aaye” means “your beloved has come to your home”.

Masterlist

I. Koi Mil Gaya

Koi Mil Gaya. Mera Dil Gaya. 

There’s a peculiar charm to airports. The continuous hum of cheerful chatter, luggage wheels rolling softly on shining white tiles, and cell phones ringing create a lively atmosphere. The pungent aroma of coffee beans wafting from cafe stalls brings the comfort and warmth of home to a junction where different parts of the world connect.

It’s late in the afternoon. The sun pours through the large ceiling to floor windows that curve around the place.  Streams of people flow through the terminal building while others sit in the lounge, either excited or bored.

"Oho, Ummi, I'll be fine,"  you groaned on the phone, pulling your carryon as you made your way to the gate. "I've been on a plane before.”

Ummi replies with a snarky remark, but you know she's just worried underneath it.

“Okay, maybe not alone, but how hard can it be? I’ll be fine. Stop worrying,” you replied. Ummi releases a deep sigh and hands the phone over to your father. "Hello? Abbu?" you said, "Hanji, main thik hu. Hanji, hanji, sab kuch meray paas hi hai.”

"Are you sure you'll be okay?"  Abbu asks one last time just to make sure.  

You sigh deeply. "Yes, I promise. I’ll be fine. It's a direct flight to London. I just have to get on the right plane. That's it.”

Unfortunately, your word wasn’t enough for him. He goes on to lecture you about the dangers of the airport with the classic “young girls shouldn’t be traveling alone” spiel.  After hearing the very same lecture for years, reiterated with a new subject matter so many times, it automatically goes through one ear and out the other.

You knew he meant well. He always did. Every step he took had the wellbeing of his family in mind. But sometimes he overdid it; and it was those certain moments that made you cringe.  

Your ears perked up when the PA system spoke overhead. “Passengers for Flight 9B4 to London, please go to Gate 36.”

"Abbu, I’ll talk to you later!” you exclaim. “They're calling my flight. I gotta go. Bye!"  You hang up on him before he can say anything with a mischievous grin. 

You speed walk down the terminal, using the overpass with directions as a guide. Another announcement has you running through the crowds, slightly pushing and whispering sorries as you do. By the time you get to the gate you’re a heaving mess. You give your boarding pass to the gate agent while bending over to catch your breath.

“Made it just in time,” she chirped with an amused smile.

You reply with a breathy laugh, unable to say a word.

Damn, I’m out of shape.

She verifies your boarding pass and hands it back. “Enjoy your flight.”

You thank her before entering the air bridge and into the plane. A gorgeous blond attendant at the door greets you warmly then guides you up the aisle towards the first class seats. You find your seat by the window. Slipping your carryon into the overhead compartment, you take your seat then pull out your phone to message your dad about successfully getting on the plane.

From the corner of your eye, you see a guy lifting his bag to place it in the compartment above. The hem of his shirt hovers just above his waist as he stretches, showing the band of his Calvin Klein boxers and a teaser of what seems to be a very sculpted torso.

You whip your head towards the window, embarrassed by yourself for looking at him.  You hear the seat next to you dip and groan inwardly. You give him a side glance as he rustles through his backpack for something.

His side profile is gorgeous. Short, fluffy brown locks just begging your fingers to run through them. A perfectly straight nose and a sculpted jaw.

A phone notification forces you to look away. It's a message from Abbu wishing you safe travels. A grin spreads on your face.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome onboard Flight 9B4 with service from New York to London," the head attendant announces.

"Mind if I squeeze this right here?" he says, already pushing his bag between your legs and his.

I mean you already did?

"Yeah, that's fine," you reply.

"Thanks," he grins.

"We ask that you please fasten your seatbelts at this time and please turn off all electronic devices, including laptops and cellphones," the attendant drolls. "Thank you for choosing British Airways. Enjoy your flight."

You listen to her directions and securely strap yourself in. You take a deep breath and relax into your seat as the plane begins to move.

"Nervous?"

You turn over to find the guy looking at you with a goofy smile.

"No," you replied, a bit harsher than you intended to.  

"I was just asking," he chuckles. "I'm nervous."

"First time?" You asked.

"No," he denied with a shake of the head. "I always get nervous. You never know what can happen y'know? Like what if the engine bursts when we're over the ocean? We're all fucking screwed."

He had a point and it was a plausible fear, but what decent human being would actually come out and say it while the plane was taking off?

You look at him completely dumbfounded.

"Didn't mean to scare you."

Your lips contort into a pout. "I'm not afraid."

He shrugs. "Looks like you are."

"Well, I'm not," you affirm.

"Alright, so when the plane takes a nosedive into the ocean, I'll count on you to save me 'cause I'm going to be scared out of my mind."

"I'm not going to save you," you reply flatly.

"Ouch," he chuckles, his eyes crinkling at the corners when he does. "Whatever happened to being a Good Samaritan?"

"We'd both die instantly. There's no point in helping."

"Geez, you're depressing."

You fall back into your seat as the plane begins to rise.

"Oh, this is it," he announces with exaggerated excitement.

"Can you please be quiet?"

"Sorry," he whispers apologetically.

You look out the small window, watching the plane lift off the ground and rise into the sky.  Even as the engines rumbled and the ringing in your ears grew irritating, the scenery through the little window made your heart feel at ease. The clouds flowed constantly like sheets that stretched to the horizon.  As the wings sliced through the dense layer, a brilliant evening sun scattered a hazy pink over the clouds, leaving you in awe and admiration. The plane levels and sets on a steady course over the clouds.

You reach down into your handbag and pull out the novel you've been trying to finish.

"Is that the Kite Runner?" he asks.

"It is," you reply with a smile. The first time you've smiled in your short time with him and he has to admit it's a pretty one.

"That's a great book! I finished it in three days."

"Oh wow," you exclaimed, slightly embarrassed that it was taking you weeks. Not your fault though. You were busy.

"Yeah," he sighs, reminiscing a good memory. "I don't read many books, but that one," he points at the book in your hand. "It moved me to tears."

Your hand brushes over the cover. "Yeah, I like it so far. I love how flawed Amir is and how he strives to be better. It's so relatable."

"Yeah, it's so realistic," he replies. "I cried when he found out Hassan died."

"Hassan dies?" You gasped.

From the dumbfounded look on your face, he realizes that he's committed one of the greatest sins. "What? No!" He laughs nervously. "I meant Baba dies."

"Baba dies too?"

"No," he shakes his head. "Nobody dies. They all live—happily. They all live a happy ending."

He can feel a thousand curses shot in his way just by the way you're glaring at him.

"Aha," he laughs awkwardly. "I'll just shut up now."

"Good idea," you mumble.

"Would you two like anything?" The flight attendant asked.

"Uh, yeah I'll have some water," he replies then turns to you. "Do you–"

"No thank you," you replied curtly, opening up your book to where you left off.

Bucky takes the bottle from the attendant with a sheepish smile. He decides not to bother you anymore and pulls out his air pods to listen to some music that would hopefully lull him to sleep. He puts on his slow playlist then shifts into his seat until he feels comfortable. He closes his eyes, allowing the music to relax him and just as his consciousness begins to ebb, a heavy thud on his shoulder brings him back to reality.

He turns to find you fast asleep with your head resting against his shoulder.

Bucky couldn’t stop his lips from stretching into a wide grin. There's just something so intimate about someone —stranger or not— falling asleep on your shoulder that makes your heart flutter. It made his insides flip and a light blush scatter on his cheeks. He sits quietly, making sure not to move too much so he doesn’t wake you.  

Wide awake, he twiddles his thumbs, wondering what to do. He sees the book in your lap and slowly slips it out from underneath your hand. You wouldn't mind if he borrowed it. He flips to the first page and starts to read, delving deep into a distant world that rested in his hands.

As Bucky travels back to 1970’s Afghanistan through the memories of his flawed storyteller, Amir, a brilliant idea pops in his mind.

It's a stretch, but it might just work.

All he needs is a piece of paper and a pen.

"Farhan!" You wave in excitement.

"Y/N!" He shouts back, weaving through the crowd to get to you.

You jump into his arms and give your brother a tight hug.

"I've missed you so much!" you whined, shaking him from side to side.

"I've missed you too," he says, a chuckle coloring his words. You push him back to have a good look at him.

"You look kinda skinny," you comment, "have you been eating?"

Farhan rolls his eyes. "You sound like mom." He takes the suitcase by your side and pulls it along. "Now come on, let's get out of here."

Farhan was your mother's pride and joy. She loved all her children, but she loved him just a little bit more.

He was the trophy child of the family, and as the heir to one of the largest enterprises in the world, he had to be. He was the best in school, the best on the field, and had a magnetic personality that attracted crowds from miles away. If it wasn't his personality that attracted others it was his looks. He was the very definition of tall, dark, and handsome with the most gorgeous hazel eyes that fringed with smooth green under the right light. You can't recall how many times your friends asked if he was single. As if you'd actually give them a chance with your brother.

After graduating from Oxford with an MBA degree, he decided to stay in England and work at the London branch of the company, honing his skills before he took his throne.

Farhan was perfect in every way and your parents wouldn't miss a chance to boast about him. He was the envy of the elite. His name was clear of scandals and only marked with achievement after achievement, raising the family name to soaring heights.

Only problem he had was that he refused to get married. He wouldn't even look at the pictures of girls your mother offered him. When she'd asked him why he didn't want to, he always had the same answer.

"They don't want me, they want my name."

Sometimes, you wished you had his boldness.

"How was the flight?" Farhan asked as he pulled out of the parking lot.

"Good," you replied. You cringe from embarrassment, remembering how you slept on that guy's shoulder the entire flight.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," you turn to look out the window, watching raindrops racing down the side of the window. "It's kind of weird sitting on this side of the car," you laugh.

He chuckles. "It is, but you get used to it after a while. How's the wedding going?"

You exhale deeply while leaning against the window. "I don't know, ask Ummi."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, Ummi does everything. I just sit there and look pretty."

Farhan laughs from his stomach. "Why not tell her to ease back a bit?"

"I don't mind it,” you explained. “Honestly, I'm grateful. I can't plan shit, but I just wished she wouldn't talk about it so much."  

Farhan’s brows crease in confusion. “You’re not getting cold feet are you?”

“N-no!” you stammered. “It just gets me anxious, that’s all.”

He sighs, waiting at the light. “You bring it on yourself, Y/N,”

Your head whips towards him. “And what do you mean by that?”

“You try so hard to please everyone else, that you end up not caring for yourself."

“That’s not true—”

“We both know this wedding is only to please Abbu," he interjects with a sad chuckle. “You’re only marrying Ayan for him.”

You scoffed. “I’m marrying Ayan because I want to," you counter. “He’s sweet and really nice—”

“But do you love him?”

You fall back against the window with a sigh. “Farhan I don't want to talk about this," you mumbled.

"But don't you think you should?" He questions.

“Yeah, Abbu picked Ayan for me. So what about it?" you lectured, waving your hands around. "He's always done what's best for us. So what’s to say he won’t pick the one that’s the best for me?”

“But shouldn’t you be the one who knows what’s best for you? Not Abbu?” he contended, eyes fixated on the street. “You say you’re an independent adult, Y/N, but you’ve never stepped out from underneath his wing. You've never tried anything for yourself, it's always what he wants," he jabbed, hitting you harder than he had intended to.

You retreat to your window in defeat and shame.

“Hey," he whispers, shaking your arm. You don't look at him cause you might just cry; and that's one thing you'd never do in front of him. At least not anymore.

"I’m not trying to make you feel bad, I just worry about you sometimes," he confesses. "I want you to be happy doing what you want to do and not what others want from you."  

You turn just a little to peek over at him with a quaint smile. He smiles back, holding your hand tight. “This is what I want. Really it is. Don't worry."

He laughs in defeat. "Whatever you say, Aloo."

You smack his arm. "Don't call me that!"

You plop onto the bed after unpacking your bags. Farhan had to take a business call, leaving you to your own devices. You scroll through different apps, bored out of your mind and a bit sleepy.

A notification drops down.

Ayan

Have fun on your trip! Call me when you get the time. 😊

Your insides twist at the message and not in the excited, butterflies in your stomach kind of way. It’s more like a dreadful duty that you don’t want to do right now.

You swipe the notification away, promising yourself that you’d call him tomorrow, and decide you should go to sleep. You reach over for your bag on the bedside table to get your phone charger. You pull out the novel you quickly shoved inside before leaving the plane, and notice a paper sticking out at the top of the book. You raise a brow in confusion. You never had any bookmarks, and just folded the corners to save the page. You pulled it out and weren’t expecting a message.

Sorry about spoiling the book. Maybe I can make it up to you? If you’re staying in London, hit me up.  

917 - 569 - 2156

- Bucky

Translations:

“Hanji, main thik hu. Hanji, hanji, sab kuch meray paas hi hai.” - Yes, I’m fine. Yes, Yes, I have everything with me.

Aloo - Potato ( a nickname)

Taglist: @anjali750​ @desibarnes​ @regainedworld​ @saintsebastian-stan​

[deanscroissant]

j.m. one-shot request (3)

Request: @johndeaconlover​ Hi!  How are you?  If you do not accept such a request, you may send me the answer privately.  Well, although I haven't seen it yet Dear Sidewalk, but I've read some fanfic, Gardner is a cinnamon muffin.  Anyway, could you write something about him based on Taylor Swift's song, Lover?  With a little smut, I'm very thirsty for it!  Please, thanks for your attention! Xxxx

A/n: So sorry this took me so long. I really, really, really hope I fulfilled your wishes. This is my first time writing smut, so don’t come @ me if it sucks lol. If I’ve made any mistakes I apologize in advance. Hope you like it and whoever reads this. Feedback is greatly appreciated! :)

Warnings: fluff, a pinch of angst, and smut (18+)

Word count:  1590

Gardner Langway, the man that used to be a stranger to you now your husband. Last month, in April, was when you two tied the knot and since then you’ve been the happiest woman alive. It seemed like you knew him for years when you first met him. It was like rekindling a friendship you once had. 

When Gardner showed up at you front door as your new mail carrier two years ago you instantly fell head over heels for him. He was different. It was something about him that you couldn’t quite figure out. Maybe it was how shy he was when you communicated. He didn’t talk much at first and you wanted to get to know him more, so you tried for a while to build up the courage to ask him out for coffee or a walk at least. 

But little did you know that Gardner was doing the same behind closed doors. When he first met you he wanted to kiss you right then and there. Your beauty was captivating, but he didn’t seem worthy of being with you. You were way out of his league. He shouldn’t even bother trying. 

But a few days later Gardner mastered shoving the negative thoughts away, all by the help of Calvin, who knew something was up with him the minute he came in the house for dinner that night. Gardner was being in denial, not wanting Calvin to know about his attraction to someone he didn’t know for a least a month. 

And here he was, standing frozen at your doorsteps, anxiety taking over his state of mind. He ran his sweaty palms down his denim-covered thighs as his breathing hitched. “Just do it.” he whispered. He gulped and closed his eyes and counted to ten slowly before he reached to ring the doorbell. 

Meanwhile, you were upstairs getting ready to go over to his house. You sat at your vanity putting on your favorite lip gloss when you hear your doorbell ring. You weren’t expecting anyone today, so you wonder who it could be. When you open your door, there stood the person who stole your heart. He was clearly nervous. You didn’t even need to ask what he was doing here because you just knew what he was going to ask you. So with a blushing smile, you say, “Yes. I would love to.”

From then on the rest was history. You two were inseparable. You did not want to let him go. He was a drug you couldn’t get enough of. The more you were around each other, the more open you began to be with each other. You seem to fall more and more in love with him every time you saw him. You would gush over the little things he would do or say. You’d die of laughter when you would tell him a joke and he would think you were actually being serious, or when he would tell a corny joke and you would try to act like it wasn’t funny, but end up laughing anyways. You loved learning about his favorite hobbies, his favorite foods, books, what he likes and doesn't like, everything. 

You cherish those moments with him. But the memory that stood out the most was when he proposed to you a year later on your anniversary date. You were at the park having a picnic when he popped the question. Everyone who was around watching were so happy for you two when you said yes. You couldn’t stop crying or laughing because you couldn’t believe you were going to marry your soulmate. 

Immediately after the proposal Gardner moved in with you. You asked him about the boat he lived in and he wanted to keep it, but he didn’t know what to do with it. He didn’t want it sitting in front of his brother’s house, so you told him to just keep it and move it to the backyard. 

It took you months to plan the wedding. You both wanted a small wedding with your family and Gardner’s friends and his brother. It was hard trying to find a venue since it was the only thing putting y’all behind. But you ended up finding one, which was way out of town about two hours away. But you didn’t care. It was perfect and it was worth stressing over.

After the ceremony you left for your honeymoon to the Grand Canyon. You wanted to surprise Gardner about visiting the Grand Canyon because all his life he dreamt of being there, so you were more than glad to fulfill that dream of his. “Okay, are you going to tell me where we’re going now?” He asked you for the fifteenth time today when the plane had landed, “I think I might combust if you don’t tell me.” 

You rolled your eyes and chuckled at how he was looking with the blindfold you told him to wear, “You’ll see when you get off the plane, Gardner, for the hundredth time!”

And when he finally took off the blindfold when you told him to, he couldn’t contain his excitement. You saw a side of him that you haven’t seen before which definitely surprised you. He was acting a fool from the airport all the way to the hotel. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy watching him fangirl about being in the same state as the Grand Canyon. 

You’d also be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy the kisses he was giving you on the way there. It was oddly turning you on seeing him like this. When you and Gardner finally confessed your love to one another was when you two had sex for the first time. You weren’t a virgin, and Gardner wasn’t either and it honestly shocked you when he told you the story. 

But it was the best sex you’ve ever had, and since then you couldn’t take your hands off of each other. You happen to look down at Gardner to see a bulge in his pants, “Mmm,” you bit your lip as Gardner kissed down your neck, trying not to moan loud so the Uber driver could hear you, “I should surprise you more often.” 

“I would be totally down for that.” he murmured and lightly bit down on the soft flesh of skin. As much as you were enjoying this you had to push him away, “Baby, wait until we don’t have company to do this.” you said softly with a giggle so the driver couldn’t hear. 

But Gardner wasn’t having it. He started pouting and pulled you closer into him, burying his face into your neck, “I need you.”

“We’re almost there.” you wrap your arms around him while kissing the side of his head, “Then we can have as much time as we want with each other.” 

*********

Gardner crawled back up from paying special attention in between your legs and lined himself at your entrance, “Are you ready, baby doll?”

Being high off of your last orgasm you nodded lazily, wrapping your arms and legs around him as you lick your lips, “Yeah. Please, Gardner..”

Gardner nods and slowly enters you. Your eyes flutter close and a soft moan escape your lips. Gardner whimpers into your neck and slowly pulls out, then back in rhythm. Your nails drag down his back as Gardner pulled away from your neck to kiss you deeply. This was what home felt like. Gardner was your home. You two belonged to be molded together, to explore each other and to love each other in different ways. 

You whimpered into the kiss before pulling away to catch your breath. Gardner rests his forehead against yours as he stares into your eyes, those gorgeous eyes that he gets lost in every time you look at him. He moves your legs up more to deepen his thrusts before quickening his pace. Your moans became louder as so his pants. He was getting close. He could also feel you getting closer as you clench around his length. 

“Baby, I’m gunna cum.” you breathed out before sucking on his neck, which made Gardner begin to tremble. “F-fuck, me too.” he says. He reaches for your hands and pins them above you to lace his fingers with yours. Your core begins to tighten, and after a few thrusts you cum as you clench hard around his dick and your legs and arms tighten around him. Gardner’s thrusts falter and cums deep inside you, a mixture of moans and whimpering against your neck. 

You both lay in each other’s embrace as you listen to Gardner’s heartbeat while he softly taps his fingers against your arm with a content smile. Your other hand was laced with his that was placed on his chest, which he would give kisses to it ever so often. This moment was so special to Gardner. He’d never thought he would live to get married. He’d never thought someone would love him as much as you did. He thought the people he knew a long time ago was supposed to love him, watch him grow up, be a family with him, and stay in his life until the day he died. But he has you now to make up for all of that. He wouldn’t even trade you to get any of it back. 

You couldn’t believe this magnetic force of a man was now yours, and you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life with him. 

[oldfashionedswiftcurse]

Like Pieces into Place

Hi hi hi,

I’m working on a new fanfic that takes place near the London countryside with Taylor and Joe (during/post-Calvin, Tom Hiddleston doesn’t exist in this lol). Please let me know if you have questions, comments, feedback, etc. Enjoy!

The lush greens and reds greeted her and her Range Rover as they barreled over the rocky driveway to her cabin. She certainly wasn’t in Nashville anymore. She wasn’t even in America. Taylor had left behind the populated city life for some time away. Although Tree had mentioned that the private cabin was located right on the outskirts of London, she hadn’t specified the immense distance between Taylor and her neighbors. Other than the beautiful ranch they passed earlier, there was little sign of life, and while it would definitely allow her to concentrate fully on her next album, it gave her little to do otherwise.

           “Tree, when you said private, I didn’t actually expect a murder cabin. Just to be clear, should I call 911 during an emergency or just accept that I will most likely be slaughtered by a serial killer?”

           “Taylor, no one is going to kill you. It’s both cute and rustic, and you did reiterate how much you wanted your privacy,” Tree echoed, and Taylor admitted defeat.

           “You’re right. I guess, if a daily phone call with Adam and utter loneliness for the other twenty three hours of the day is the path I chose, I’ll just have to deal with it.”

           “Atta girl,” Tree beckoned, rustling with her phone in the background. “By the way, you can take a break with the dramatics. The Maxes will be joining you every morning for this next week, so I think you’ll manage just fine. It’ll be a great new album.”

           Taylor chuckled, hanging up the phone. As she parked the car and carried her bags inside, she basked in the refreshing feeling of doing something alone. It had been so long since she had carried her own bag or driven herself that she was glad to be doing basic chores. After unpacking slowly and memorizing the basic layout of the cabin, Taylor changed into a gray sweatshirt and leggings and walked through the seemingly endless forest. As the wind began to blow her blonde curls into her eyes, Taylor opted to cover herself with her hood as a shield.

           It was the perfect temperature, just cool enough for the wind to leave some goosebumps on her arm, but warm enough for her breath not to leave a trace in the air around her. Taylor would describe it as the perfect level of balminess. As she continued onward, Taylor spotted the same ranch from earlier. There were distant cries of laughter, and she was relieved that she was vacationing (if that was even the right word for it) near a family. Families always made her feel warm inside, and in this particular moment, she thought back to her own childhood farm as she picked pumpkins while her brother, Austin, ran through the fields.

           The ranch was massive, but still maintained a distinctly homely quality to it. The farm area was attached to a large white Victorian home equipped with a wraparound porch and a porch swing. It was the kind of home you grew old in, accepting the peaceful transition from a bustling city to a quiet town. She wondered what Christmases were like in that house and whether or not the children shared the same memories that she did from her childhood.

           “Lucky, come back! Dad’s going to have a fit, and I won’t be able to go to the festival this weekend!”

           The sound was very distant, but as Taylor watched a tiny Australian Shepherd waddle right past her, she knew that the voice would be linked to a young child. The cherubic, blonde child appeared before her, armed with a doughnut and a long leash, and frantically raced after her dog.

           “Here, let me help,” Taylor muttered, chasing after the dog and scooping it easily into her arms as the girl clicked the leash into place. “This little guy’s got a lot of power in him, huh?”

           The girl eagerly nodded, and as Taylor placed the dog onto the ground, the girl managed to take a bite of her very pink, very frosted doughnut.

           “Thank you, Miss. If we hadn’t caught him in time, he’d be gone forever, and Dad would never let me get another pet! This is Lucky, and I’m Madilyn. We live just down the path there,” she said, extending a hand to Taylor and then deciding against it due to her frosted fingers. “Are you living out in that cabin? Dad said it was about time we got a new neighbor.”

           “I am. Hi, my name’s Taylor,” she said gleefully, sliding her hood down. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Madilyn. And you too, Lucky, rebellious as you may be.”

           And as Taylor smiled at the excited puppy, Madilyn’s jaw dropped.

           “You’re…this can’t be real. Maybe I hit a boulder and fell off a cliff or something because…well, I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you before, but you look an awful lot like…”

           “Taylor Swift?” The pop sensation teased, but as Maddie’s cheeks grew pink with embarrassment or awe or a series of different emotions, Taylor couldn’t help herself. “That would be me.”

           She shrugged, and Maddie looked on in amazement.

           “Do you mind?” Maddie glanced inquisitively, reaching for her phone.

           Taylor acquiesced immediately, smiling brightly for the selfie. Her smile was authentic, unblemished by the city facades and too-bright paparazzi lights.

           “If you don’t mind me asking,” the girl interrupted politely, “what are you doing…here? My friend from school, Elizabeth, never wants to play here, and her mom’s only in banking. I can’t imagine an actual pop legend wanting to spend time around here when you could be surrounded by crowds and cameras!”

           “First of all, your friend, Elizabeth, doesn’t seem like she gave this place much of a try.  You should never have to convince or beg people to spend time with you in your home, especially if you have a puppy as cute as Lucky. Second of all, the fame and attention…it can be too much too often. It’s nice to distance yourself sometimes, which is exactly why I’m here in this wonderful setting as you so quaintly put it,” Taylor responded, and the girl’s wide, green eyes looked back in great doubt.

           “I’m only eight,” the girl replied succinctly, and Taylor wondered why she even tried. “I’m not sure I can quaintly put anything.”

           At that age, friendships still carried the appearance of continuity, and of course a girl just about to enter tweenhood was still tricked by the allure of fame. It was a disillusioning realization one could only come to after spending years and years in the spotlight.

           “MADDIE! MADILYN?!” A deep voice bellowed, and Maddie instantly glanced backward and then back to Taylor.

           “Is it okay if I invite some friends over tomorrow to meet you? They would die if they knew you were here!” The girl uttered, reaching once more for her phone.

           When she noticed the huge glops of frosting made by her fingers during the selfie, she hesitated and wiped her fingers on her bright red leggings.

           “I’d actually appreciate it if you kept my presence here a secret, Maddie,” Taylor muttered, and the girl’s head shot back in resignation.

           “Are you kidding? This could change my life!”

           “I’d be pretty upset if one of my friends broke my trust like that, Madilyn. I hope we can be friends.”

           Maddie’s shoulders fell in defeat, but she smiled back.

           “Tell you what, I won’t tell anyone about you if you don’t tell my dad that I almost lost Lucky. I really want Lucky to have a brother or sister, and both Dad and Granny Lu always vote me down, and it’d be a tremendous help…”

           At that moment, her sentence was cut short by the appearance of a broad-shouldered, blonde man.

           “Madilyn, how many times have I told you not to stray too far from the ranch? I knew getting a dog was a bad idea, but somehow, I let you convince me anyway.”

           He froze when he spotted the two blondes before him.

           “There you are! Madilyn Alwyn, when I say that dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes, I don’t mean that we’ll wait for the princess’ grand arrival whenever she feels like stepping into the kitchen.”

           He glanced over at Taylor quizzically, then back to his daughter.

           “Now, I expect to see Lucky all washed up and you sitting at the dinner table in approximately ten minutes,” he said unflinchingly, and the blonde child shrugged apologetically at Taylor and then raced away with Lucky in tow.

           “I apologize to you if she kept you. I’m Joe, Joe Alwyn, I own the ranch just down there. And that was Maddie. She’s eight, and while I’m glad she can finally walk without a diaper or a stroller, I must confess it has proven to be a struggle to find her anywhere,” he said breathily, and the rapid inhale-exhale pattern of his chest acknowledged that he had been pretty frantic in his search for his daughter.

           “Taylor. It’s nice to meet you. She’s really a pleasure, and she does have a way with people,” she teased, extending her hand.

           Joe reciprocated the action, and the sleeve of his dark blue flannel brushed against her hand when their hands locked together.

           “She didn’t try to sell you anything, did she? I’d check your pockets too for valuables. I’d say she ranges from savvy saleswoman to common grifter depending on the day.”

           Taylor chuckled before noticing that their hands had not separated. They both glanced down, returning their respective hands back to the side of their bodies.

           “She did not try to sell me anything, I promise. She did say something about a huge blowout party tomorrow though, something about unicorns and carnival rides,” she teased.

           He rolled his blue eyes, chuckling himself. His ice-blue eyes crinkled when he laughed, a habit Taylor wondered whether or not he was aware of.

           “She got it from her mum, I swear,” he said, his bright gaze growing slightly grim. “So how long are you planning to stay around here?”

           “A few weeks, at least. I’m a musician, and I’m planning to write a bit of music while here,” she said, gesturing to the copse of trees surrounding them.

           “If you ever need someone to play a saxophone,” he whispered, gauging from her wide eyes that this plan would never come to fruition, “I’m always available. I was a pretty skilled sax player in my day.”

           “I will definitely take you up on that offer if I find myself in need of a…saxophone,” she joked, slipping her hands in her pockets. “It was nice to meet you, Joe Alwyn.”

           “You won’t be taking me up on that offer, I assume,” Joe said, scratching the back of his neck goodheartedly. “I may have slightly over exaggerated my saxophone playing abilities.

           Taylor shook her head, smiling at the ground.

           “But if you keep Lucky around, I will make every effort to see him. That Maddie is pretty special too.”

           Joe grinned back at her, and they separated with a quick wave. Taylor made her way back to her cabin just in time for her to respond to a few texts from close family and friends. She spotted a quick text from Adam and checked her hair quickly to make sure she was prepared for their scheduled Facetime call. One glance at the text, and Taylor knew it was bad news.

           Sry babe, didn’t register the time change between Sydney and London. we’ll figure this out. xxx adam

           She exhaled in defeat, throwing her hair into a loose ponytail. Tonight, she would soak in a long, hot bath and squeeze in some writing time. There were many ideas swirling around her head, and as she slipped into a restful sleep in the bath, her mind kept thinking of ways to incorporate a saxophone into her next album.

[ill-skillsgard]

Dirty Demons, Part 2 - Axel Cluney/Zeitgeist

Title: Dirty Demons

Description: It's nice to have a companion on the road to total self-destruction - a continuation of Sweet Demons

Warning: 18+ for sex/language/violence/drugs/kinks of all sorts etc.

A/N: Fun Fact: This part has one of my favourite smut scenes in it that I have ever written, for some reason.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

A wicked sense of déjà vu hit me hard when I sat across the table from Axel at a breakfast grill a few miles down the road from the Four's clubhouse. I sipped my black coffee out of a white china mug and watched him cut through a stack of maple syrup-doused pancakes using a fork of questionable cleanliness. He had complained to the server about the table syrup and had her bring him a dozen packets of what he dubbed "the only real syrup. None of that twenty-five percent less sugar bullshit." His green eyes flitted about as he chewed and avoided my stare. It had been a long two years since the weekend we met but when I sat back and sighed I felt like no time had passed at all. He looked the same, sounded the same, carried himself the same and even smelled the same though he insisted nothing about him was the same as I remembered. I ate a bowl of fruit and the orange slice that had come on Axel's plate as garnish. He tossed it into my bowl, complaining that citrus gave him heartburn. It had been a long time since I had had anything to eat that wasn't deep-fried or came frozen in a vacuum-sealed package. I picked away at my strawberries, melon, and bananas while he scarfed down his pancakes. The tinkling of cutlery and plates filled the atmosphere but not the tension that sat like its own entity on our table, grinning at us, forcing our heads together encouragingly. An hour prior he had been calling me 'mommy' and begging me to make him come. Now we were sitting adjacent to each other with nothing to say. There was much I wanted to discuss with him. So many questions burned inside my chest begging for answers. I didn't want to seem pushy but then again, he had this hold on my curiosity and I figured since he had bailed on me without a shred of an explanation that I had some sort of entitlement to answers. After all, he had tracked me down voluntarily which was a pledge to his devotion. It made me hate myself to inwardly admit that I missed him. I missed the hell out of him. When I sat there across from him and watched his mouth move or his eyes wander I couldn't help myself. I wanted him. I had spent nights by myself in recollection of how he had come into my life like a storm on a motorbike and shook me down for sex, destroyed the driveway and caused a rift in what would have been another normal, drunken Friday the Thirteenth. How could I possibly forget someone as chaotic as Axel Cluney? Even then in the restaurant, people stared at him with curiosity. He was equal parts eye-catching as he was menacing. He was suave and liquidy and partial to clothes that had seen as many years on the road as he had. A rockstar with no band. His instrument was his bike and he played it well. "Are we really just going to sit here in silence?" I asked, pulling his attention from his plate to my face. "Are you really only going to eat a fucking fruit salad? You're going to need to keep your strength up if you're going to ride with me, baby girl. And I mean that in more ways than one." I popped a red grape into my mouth and scoffed at the same time, "I see that you're still rude as fuck." "Yeah, I know. But so are you. Look at you, all squirmy in your seat. Bet I can tell you exactly what you're thinking right now. That's how fucking in tune with your body and mind I am," he pointed two fingers at his right temple like a gun. "Try me." "Well, right now you're remembering how good I fucked you earlier because you can still feel it. You're also dying to ask me to explain everything to you, isn't that right? You want to know so badly, don't you? It's eating you alive. I can see it. Your eyes don't lie well to me." I shrugged to stave off his suspicion that I was anything but indifferent to the history of the two years spent apart. Inside I cursed because he was right. "Of course, I'm curious. You told me you would come back and it took you two years to make good on your promise. Do you know how much shit can happen in two years? What if I had gotten married and had forgotten all about you?" Then it was Axel's turn to scoff at me, "you wouldn't. You would never." "You don't actually know me that well," I casually reminded him. "The only person that you could possibly picture yourself getting married to is sitting right across from you now. You wouldn't have married anyone... not without tracking me down first," Axel claimed. I blinked at him in awe for a moment as he pushed around the last scraps of his food through a pool of syrup still left on his plate before opening his mouth and shoveling it in. He leaned over the table and laughed at me, looking cheeky with his eyes squinted as he chewed and nudged my boot with the toe of his own underneath the table. "You're fucked," I snickered. Axel wiped his mouth with a white paper napkin, crumpled it and tossed it onto his sticky plate, pushed the dish aside and leaned back with hands clasped behind his head. He was positively pleased with himself and it dawned on me that he could have been the most arrogant son-of-a-bitch I had ever met in my life. "You gonna eat your cantaloupe?" He asked. "No." "Good. Let's pay and get the fuck out of here then." Axel wrapped his arm around me as we walked from the restaurant with full stomachs and smiles that were hard to hide. When he let me go and circled around his bike I had to have a better look at him and all of his leg, tattooed arms, slicked back hair and the shadow of a black eye that stayed as a reminder to others that he wasn't a man that cruised through life easily. He was so far from normal it almost felt like I was walking through a thick film into a world from a dream I had long forgotten. A dream I had given up on. During the ride back to the clubhouse I had time to think about what Axel said about me never being able to be with anyone but him and as much as it knifed me in the side to admit it, I knew he was right. There was nobody else but him. He rode up beside me on the road, nodded and sped up to pass. I watched the back of his bike through my visor and smirked as he sped up, taking advantage of the sprawling empty pavement. When we pulled up we drew the attention of a few men that were posted up around their bikes in a front lot of the clubhouse. Apparently whatever they had been talking about wasn't as important as them getting a good look at us. Axel chugged in before me, doing the stupid thing and roaring up right beside the group that had their eyes on us. I didn't recognize any of them but they had D4T patches which told me that they would be friendly once they found out who I was. I swung in beside Axel and by the time I turned off the engine and dismounted Axel was already approached. "Real fruity looking chopper you got there," one of the men said to Axel. I tore off my helmet and jogged over to intercept the conversation, "hey Axe, let's just go find Roy so we can get out of here, yeah?" "What's a little kitten like yourself trying to find the boss so quickly for? Don't you know there are a couple of levels to get through first?" A man with one broken front tooth and a head full of greasy salt and pepper hair asked me. "Read the fucking patches, dipshit," was the first thing out of Axel's mouth. "You're talking to the new owner of Motorcity." "Oh yeah? Is that so? Well, then who the fuck are you because you certainly don't look like anybody I've ever heard of." "He's with me," I declared though it didn't seem to make a difference to any of them, especially not Axel. "You not so good at reading, mister? I said read the patches," Axel sneered. "Zeitgeist. Yeah! What the fuck's a Zeitgeist, huh?" "Oh! I have heard of you! You're the fucking freak deserter from the Sweets, ain'tcha?" "I didn't desert shit." "Yeah, yeah, yeah! You did! I remember Calvin talking about some faggot on a green bike that supposedly swallows acid and spits it back up. Made a big fucking mess of some guy's face down in Florida and went nomad on the Sweets. By the rules, you're lucky I'm not unloading a clip into your deserter fuckin' brain right now!" My eyes must have gone wide enough to cut through the clambering hostility of the situation. I watched as hands reached behind backs to be ready at the trigger and felt my stomach twist with dread. If what they said about Axel being a deserter was true then by the rules any patched member of an affiliated charter was obligated to detain him or shoot and ask questions later. "Everyone just calm the fuck down, right now! I'll decide what happens to him! Do you even know who my father is?" "You mean was. Last I heard Al was dead and there's been a spat about the rightful heir. That don't make you no president though, sweetie. Hate to burst your sexy little bubble but the only person that has a say over this piece of shit acid-eating freak motherfucker is Max Sweet." "You're a fucking idiot, Max Sweet is practically my brother! Where the fuck do you think we're going? I'm bringing him back to Motorcity." "You trying to make me believe that a little girl like yourself is escorting this giant, wall-eyed fruitcake all the way across the country? Do you think I'm stupid? He could turn around and beat your ass and leave you on the side of the road to die. Now, now honey, you leave the escortin' to the boys with the guns." Axel clenched his fists not because he was going to swing but because he knew that if he made one move towards them there would be three gun barrels pointed at him. I had to do something quickly or else Axel could have been executed right in front of me without a moment of hesitation. The only violence I had ever witnessed was back home and it was usually drunken fights on the Thirteenth but I had never witnessed a gun actually being drawn. "I want a parlay right now with your president! RIGHT NOW! You can call Max Sweet and he'll tell you to back off and let me take my deserter back to our own charter!" The three men stared at me and for a moment I half expected them all to burst out laughing at me trying to pull a rank card and the tension grew thick enough to make me start sweating beneath my leather. Of course, I was lying. Max Sweet had no idea where I was and according to the new revelations, he didn't know where Axel was either. They could have easily called me on my bluff but I felt the deflation take hold and they began to realize that there was the potential for a war to start if any of them harmed us. "Yeah, that's right. I'm here to talk to Roy! Like I fucking said! Axel! Let's go, now!" I yelled. Axel beamed at me and hopped to my command almost instantly. The rest of them gawked and gaped but I wasn't finished. With a brand new sense of courage, I strolled up to the asshole with the greasy hair and the Captain Hook nose and pointed my finger in his face. "If you ever call me sweetie or talk to any fucking woman like that and I find out about it, I'll have your fucking balls and that's a damn promise. You think you knew Al and how he rolled? Well, I'm ten times fucking worse." Crunching the gravel down with my boot as I spun around, I walked towards the front doors of the clubhouse with Axel quick to follow. When we were far enough away he scoffed at me and nudged me with his elbow. "Holy fuck, mama. That was a boss fucking move! That was so hot, holy shit." "How about you shut the fuck up too, deserter." I snapped at him as I pulled open the door and entered without so much as glancing at him. If Axel really was a deserter than this all had the potential to become extremely volatile. I was in danger just by being around him if what they said were true. I had to get the information I needed from Roy and then bolt the hell out of there before any bad word got around that I was pretending to be part of the Sweet Demons. In reality, I had nothing to do with the actual club and was more of a legal landlord to the property that housed the original clubhouse. These days it had become more of a landmark or tourist attraction and much less of a place where any club business went down. I had made sure of that. Roy was in the club meeting room at the head of the table on a cellphone that looked comically tiny in his massive mitt of a hand. He motioned for me to wait as he ended his phone call gruffly. In front of him were three other cell phones of varying levels of archaism. They must have been burner phones because I hadn't witnessed anyone voluntarily using a  flip phone in over a decade. "Angel! Good morning. Who's this that you've got with you?" "My... Boyfriend. Listen, Roy, I'm really in a rush to get moving. Please tell me you found something for me. Anything." Roy sighed and shook his big tattooed head, running his animal balloon fingers over the skin and then down the front of his beard. "Kid, it's hard to say. Your ma pretty much ghosted everybody. All I could find out is that she had been in a trailer park in Mumby. Whether she was stopping in or living there is another guess. One of my guys says he was up there at Lovesick Park for some party and recognized her from back in the day at the rallies. He didn't say much to her though and took off the next day." "Where the fuck is Mumby?" I asked. "Way the hell up North. You're talking sixteen hours and across the border." Usually, the idea of riding another day exactly the way I had come from would drive me to the brink of tears but I looked over at Axel and saw the perfect riding partner. We hadn't even left and I already started enjoying the thought of getting on our bikes and ripping off together. Even though he had a lot of explaining to do, for some reason I was looking forward to the argument. "Roy... Thank you. Honestly. I'm so glad I came to you. And thanks for everything. You've been a huge help." "You're welcome to stay another night if you want to. It's nothin' to me." "No. I can't. Thank you though. I really appreciate everything. You've done more than enough for me... More than you needed to." He nodded and the lines in his boxing glove face wrinkled up as he smiled. "Anything for Al. That man changed the game." Axel followed me out of the meeting room once my business with Roy was concluded and upstairs so I could shove all of my things back into my knapsack. I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. The risk of one of those guys deciding to follow up on my bluff was so high I was tasting copper at the back of my throat. "Angel... Slow down. Can we like... Talk for a second?" Axel pulled at my elbow. "Oh, so now you want to talk, do you? Now that your element of surprise was blasted wide open and you no longer have a piece of juicy meat to dangle in front of me? Yeah. You're a deserter and I could get my ass killed for defending you!" "I'm not a fucking deserter! I swear to God. Max knows!" "Knows what? Knows that you abandoned your charter after something happened in Florida? Were you going to tell me that? Or were you going to keep your dirty secrets all to yourself and dole them out like little fucking dog treats to me? Fuck you, Axel. If you're going to ride with me you better fucking tell me everything!" "I will! I am! I was... Fuck! I was obviously going to tell you. I didn't expect the three fucking homophobes outside to call me out in the fucking parking lot!" Wrenching open the drawer I had dumped my clothes into, I tossed him a glare and began hauling out everything by the fistful, shoving it all haphazardly into my bag. Once I had all of my effects in order, I slung the bag onto my shoulder and came up in front of Axel who had been standing at the door watching me with panic heavy in his eyes. "Hey! Hey... Listen to me," his voice softened and he reached out to touch my face but I dodged him. He didn't much like being denied the touch so he took one step closer to me and did that thing where he peered down menacingly like a bird of prey from on high. "Angel... I said I was going to tell you everything and I meant it. Why the fuck do you think I drove for days just to find your ass?" "To fuck up my life and get me killed?" "Maybe! Just maybe! But not today! Not right after I finally found you. Like... months down the road or maybe even years I'd do something stupid enough to get us both shot." "Yeah, well, I just lied right to their faces. I'm no fucking VP. I literally have no pull with the Sweets by the rules. If Roy finds out that you're actually a deserter and I'm taking you anywhere besides straight to Max, then guess how many people are going to be on our asses?" "Four fucking thousand?" "That's right." "Well... Maybe you shouldn't have lied then," he had the gall to admonish me. "I just saved your ass, Axel!" He put his hands on my shoulders and swayed me around playfully. "Because you love me. You looove me! I am your boooyfriend! You even saaaid so!" Axel continued to tease me through song and I turned bright red. "That was... Another lie! You're not my boyfriend. You've only been back in my life for half a day and shit has already hit the fan!" The tall, tattooed, dancing idiot gripped my face and bore into my eyes with his. "It's because we have so much chemistry, isn't it? We're just a couple of matches ready to get dragged down that strip called road." "Man... You are a fucking fruitcake." ~*~ We managed to pull out of the clubhouse parking lot unscathed by angry bikers that would never pass up an opportunity to uphold the outdated laws of the road. I had to admit that I had never been so excited to get back on my bike with my helmet on and my backpack straps pulled tightly around my shoulders. Even though the sun was starting to peek out from the smokey grey clouds and warm up the pavement, I donned my tight, custom leather jacket that had been made especially for me by a woman that frequented the Thirteenth rallies. She was a leatherworker by trade and an artist by passion so naturally, every line, seam, and stitch of the jacket was handmade lovingly with great attention. It was my most favourite article of clothing because I had her embroider my dad's riding name above the left breast pocket. All covered from helmet to sunglasses to facemasks, jackets, jeans and boots we rode along the right of the road until we hit wide open cement and took advantage of the long sprawling landscape to ride side by side. You could see for a mile in every direction and it was all fields and farmland for a little while until we cut through the country and ended up right in the middle of a city that was bustling with afternoon traffic. Axel had fallen a few spots back but I could see him in my mirrors. He looked like a mantis seated on a threatening viridian horse that never stopped snarling with his big black round sunglasses and his acid-green bandana tied around the lower half of his face. I had to laugh to myself and shake my head. Axel was not a subtle man and every detail about him screamed something in your face on purpose. He was such a blight of green and holy shit that people liked to honk their horns in tribute and children stared with their sticky hands and faces planted on the windows of their parent's SUVs. I knew that my appearance was no more modest than his. During the first year of Axel's absence, I had poured myself into building the bike that I had started with my dad when I was twelve. It was supposed to be a pink crotch-rocket that suited my size completely but after my mom had left us I didn't want to have anything to do with bikes ever again. The incomplete machine got covered up and put in the back of the garage to remind my father and myself that some things just exist to remain incomplete. By the time we dragged it out, it was a relic of our strained past but also a token to our relationship. Despite all of his flaws and tarnished legal record, one thing remained certain; he had been the best father anyone could ever ask for. It became obvious as we took the bike apart that an update would have to be in order. I didn't want a speedy little sleek bike. I wanted a beefy, crawling candy pink chopper with obnoxiously high handlebars and blazing chrome details on every inch possible. I wanted her to be fast but comfortable and we spared no expense on parts. She was made of the finest metal a biker and his kid could procure. Gazing down at my gas meter, I noticed that I was getting really low and I signaled to Axel that we needed to gas up. We slithered slowly through the cramped city streets, thrumming loudly between lanes of people trying to get back to work after lunch. It took a while for us to come up to a gas station but it was out of the main knot of the city and close to the highways. I wanted to avoid riding through cities as much as possible because of Axel being the call-to-attention that I did not need. "Fuck, I'm starving again," Axel told me after untying his facemask and yanking off his helmet. He kept his sunglasses on and I could see sweat and condensation glistening on his face and in his mustache. "Just grab a bunch of snacks from inside," I suggested. "God. I hate gas station food," he grumbled. "We can stop at a Denny's and get you some more pancakes, princess," I teased. "I could go for that. Breakfast again." "Can you grab me an energy drink and oh! Check if they have those little cream-filled cupcakes. I have to take a piss." Axel smiled at me, "I'm going to make you into a little cream-filled cupcake." "Fuck you," I jested, pushing him away lightly. "I sure fucking hope you do. Listen... We have to haul for a few more hours then I want to find a hotel. You and I have a lot of catching up to do." "Fine then, deserter. Gas up and grab some food. I'll see you back out there." Axel leered and grabbed my shoulder, swooping in with his eyebrows notched together angrily. "Fucking call me that again. That asshole back at the Four's club was right when he said that I can literally beat your ass and leave you in a ditch and nobody would know about it." I shrugged him off, equally as appalled by his words. "Fuck you, Axel. I was just joking!" He shook his head and stood up tall again. "The amount of fucking disrespect I've received the last few weeks I've spent trying to find you is really starting to wear me down. I don't need you accusing me of shit when you don't even know a thing about me!" "Easy! I said I was joking!" "You're stupid, Angel! Why the hell are you even out here? And without any protection at all? You can't tell me you have a gun up your ass. No, you're just cruising out here telling people about your Daddy and fluttering around like a little butterfly thinking one of these motherfuckers won't spike your drink and rape you." "You are being SO dramatic!" I yelled at him. A middle-aged man that was paying at the pump for his gas looked over at us and our parked bikes and then pretended like he saw nothing. "Angel, I've seen some shit. Some real fucking shit that would make you yack. For you to be perusing around biker clubs by yourself is dangerous." "Well guess what?" I stood up on my tiptoes and poked him hard in the chest, "I've been fucking fine without you so far! So I suggest you shut up and take the fucking joke! You can hop on the road going backward, buddy! I don't need you at all! Arrogant prick... You think I can't move the fuck on with my life without you? Go fuck yourself, Axel!" I gasped as he gripped my jaw and started backing me up so quickly I thought I would certainly trip over something and fall but he had me in place and the last car in the station was just pulling away. When I hit a wall Axel ducked in and kissed me hard. The prickle of his facial hair caused me to wince but the taste of his lips made it worth the pain. He pulled me along the wall, gripping blindly with his tongue in my mouth for the door handle to the bathroom. Wrenching open the door, he shoved me inside and pulled the door shut. Already breathless, I pointed at the knob. "Lock it." "Get the fuck on your knees." "Axel, lock the door first." He took one looming step forward defiantly and the blaze of anger on his face only strengthened. "Did you fucking hear me, little girl? I said get on those knees." When I sank to the dirty floor Axel took another step closer to me. I didn't expect him to come at me so aggressively and for a moment I felt like I could be in real danger. After all, I didn't actually know a thing about him even if I pretended to. He could have been a murderer. He could have been in jail. He could have done something terrible like what those guys back at the club had said. I tried not to picture Axel melting someone's face into steaming liquid slurry. "How are you gonna say sorry to me? You make me so very upset when you say mean things. Don't you know it's not nice to call names?" "Um... I'm sorry," I said, voice small and shaky. "Don't be scared, kitten. You remember my safe word, don't you?" I nodded and felt a wave of nostalgic arousal send the first wave of endorphins shooting through my body. Axel smiled and caressed my jaw with his gloved hand. "Well, what is it?" "Mercy," I replied. "Mm-hmm, that's right. Good girl, you remember." It was pathetic how easy it was for him to tame me. Then again, he was so damn bad and gorgeous that it figured he could tame most anyone. He was a living lightning rod of pure erotic obscenity and even more so to me because I couldn't get off to any thought other than the ones I had of him reducing me to a whimpering, wet mess. Nothing else did it for me. Only the memory of him fucking me in a tool shed and refusing to go down on me could get me close to the edge. "Now, if you please, open up that little mouth and show me your tongue," Axel asked, tone shifting politely. As I opened my mouth and stuck out my tongue, Axel popped open the button of his jeans and pulled them down. A bulge of arousal pressed tightly against the crotch of his boxers and I loved the way it looked all bound in fabric and growing. "See what you do to me? I can't even look at you with your mouth open and not get hard. It's like your mouth was made for me to fuck it. Don't you agree, sugar?" "Yes," I said, leaving my mouth open and my tongue out for him to gaze upon. He stroked the salty pad of his thumb over the slick muscle hanging out between my teeth and purred like an engine. "Oh, the nights I spent thinking about this dirty fucking mouth. Your sweet lips wrapped around my cock... That tongue running over my balls. Fuck. Yeah, I think I need that again." The blinking fluorescent light in the dingy bathroom glinted off of every wet surface in the room. There was a puddle in the corner, a leaking faucet, yellowish-brown nicotine stains dripping down the tiled walls and a fat, clear nacre of precum taking form on the front of his boxers that aroused my appetite despite our squalid surroundings. Even though the stench of a thousand bowel-movements permeated the air, I still let my mouth hang open as he angled his hips closer to my face so I could lick at the warm bubble of his arousal. He treated it like my tongue was cold and he was oh so hot, seething just by me sucking on the already wet material. "Shit... You are a filthy little thing, aren't you? God, that's what I like about you. So willing to fuck me and please me anywhere I need it, huh? Such a good girl I almost forgot about your disgusting mouth from earlier. Almost." I reached up to pull down his boxers but he stepped away to leave me clutching at air. "No, no. Not so fast. I know you're just begging to be fed but you have to finish what you started first. Now go on, suck up all of Daddy's precum." He had to bend at the knees for me to be able to reach him but it didn't hinder him from tilting his head back and moaning loudly as I sucked a big dark blotch through the cotton of his boxers. The vulgar feeling of wet material in my mouth made me eager for him to actually pull his cock out so that I could run my tongue along something that didn't feel sopping and gauzy. When he finally hooked his thumbs under the waistband and let his erection fall out I squealed pleasantly and reached a hand up to grip it steady. Axel batted my hand away though and lifted his shaft up himself to keep me from latching onto him. "No cock until you've played with my balls first. Come on, sugar. Suck on Daddy's balls like a good little kitten." I opened my mouth wider so he could drop himself onto my tongue while he stroked his shaft above my head. Even though I was terrified somebody was going to walk in, I couldn't help but hum around him enthusiastically just so I could hear him moan from the feeling. Moisture from the ground started seeping through the knees of my pants and I was growing hot in my jacket so I stripped it off and got back to licking every inch of what he would allow me. Soon he needed the heat of my mouth around the head of his cock and he forced my head back so he could hit my tongue with it. "Yes, yes. Good girls love cock, don't they? Don't they?" "Yes," I replied. "Tell me what you love," he pressed me for the answer he wanted like a parent dredging up the truth from a fibbing child. "I love cock." "Whose cock do you love?" "Your cock, Daddy." "Say it." "I love your cock, Daddy." He smiled and touched my cheek lovingly, "I know you do, sugar. Open up. I want to see the back of that throat." My mouth was assaulted by his shaft thrusting in and out of me like my head was merely a hole for his pleasure and his pleasure only. He didn't concern himself with my ability to breathe between thrusts and I had to gasp for air each time he pulled out to make sure I didn't faint from how hard he shoved his cock down my throat. We only did that for a little while until drool started pouring down my chin and dripping off his head. He pulled my head back by my hair and smiled at me proudly. "You can really take a good throat-fucking. Now, get up. Pull down those nice tight jeans. Daddy needs to pump his little cupcake full of cream." It was disgusting and I hated how when I watched him kick the lid of the toilet seat down so he could sit on it that I followed him. He motioned with two fingers for me to sit on his lap. "Come on, pants off, pants off!" He urged. I scrambled to get them down as I stood between his parted legs. He grabbed me by the hip, turned me around so I was facing away from him and slowly brought me down. We both gasped when the head of his cock aligned perfectly with my open and I eased the rest of my weight down onto him, fully submerging him in the tight heat of my wetness. He lifted my legs up and slung them both to one side so he could hook his arm under my knees and support my back with the other arm just like if I were his little baby and he was rocking me to sleep. "Oh, Christ. I love being balls deep in your pussy, baby. Do you like it too?" "Yes, Daddy." "Oh, fuck, hold still, sugar." Axel used all of his upper body strength to lift me up and down but soon realized our position wasn't going to be sustainable for long and stood up with me still in his arms. He tried again to fuck me standing up but had to put me down when my boots and jeans proved too difficult to maneuver in. With a growl of frustration, Axel ripped off his jacket and tossed it on the grimy floor near mine. "Fuck it, bend over the sink." Only Axel got to watch himself fucking me in the mirror because I was held down with my face nearly eating the faucet. He was wildly rocking into me and grunting, only taking pauses to spank my ass loudly and call me dirty little pet names. "I'm going to come inside that pussy. Know why?" He asked through his clenched teeth, fingers wrapped harshly around my hips so he could pull me in to meet his thrusts. "Because my pussy belongs to you?" I whimpered. "Yes. That's right, baby and you know I like to feed my hungry little pussy all the cum she wants." I started feeling weak when he reached around and toyed with my clit almost like an afterthought. I was so lost in the shroud of lust and adrenaline-laced fear of being discovered that my heart began to beat as quick as his pumps into me. "You like it when I touch your sweet little clit while I fuck you?" He asked rhetorically. Of course, I loved it. My tortured moans were indication enough and when the slaps of our skin became claps and our fragmented breaths became deep panting I knew that it wouldn't be long before we speared ourselves on the sharp peak of orgasm together. He promised to keep rubbing my clit as long as I squeezed my pussy tighter around him. Nodding, promising, begging and doing anything I could to convince him that my body was his to use, he shoved his fingers down my throat and came hard. I was crushed up against the sink with his entire weight and his cock twitching inside my spasming walls. After he pulled out of me the trickle of his cum immediately followed. Out of breath and dizzy, Axel shuffled over to the toilet paper dispenser and began unrolling wads of it to clean up the thick white mess leaking down his shaft. He kicked the toilet seat open once more and dropped the soiled paper in the water. I was still a mess bent over the sink and only smiled after he brought me my own huge wad of tissue paper to mop up my inner thighs. "Fuck, it stinks in here. Let's get out of here and get some fucking snacks. Now I'm really starving." I cleaned up as much of the stickiness that I could but when I hiked my jeans back up and began taking steps towards the door I felt more of his seed working it's way out of me to stain the crotch of my panties. Axel stopped me and nodded towards the toilet. "Go pee. We're not stopping again for another couple of hours." Ever the gentleman, Axel held the door open for me when I was done and smiled as I stepped out of the gas station bathroom back into the light of day. I felt like a sex-crazed vampire that had just emerged from its filthy, bodily-fluid ridden hole. He had been right about us needing to find a hotel because the thought of a shower was the only thing keeping me from feeling one hundred percent like I had just crawled out of a gutter. As if nothing had happened, we walked into the gas station and were greeted by the clerk behind a counter full of scratch tickets, candy bars, cheap phone chargers, and nine-hour energy shots. Axel whistled at me to get my attention and waved a blue package at me. "Look, honey, they have your cupcakes!"

[joemerl]

“A Swiftly Tilting Planet” is Awful and I Hate It

I don’t know if anybody cares about my opinions, but I built up a lot of bile reading this book and I have to get rid of it somehow.

Background

For those who don’t know, this is the third book in Madeline L’Engle’s Time Quintet, aka “A Wrinkle in Time and its sequels that you’ve never heard of before.” The series involves a family that goes on Science Fantasy-type adventures with beings sent from a vaguely-defined, vaguely Christian bureaucracy of magical aliens. I’ll discuss the previous books a bit, but the series is pretty episodic so we don’t really need to recap them. 

In this story, the world is about to end because a South American dictator has a nuke. Our protagonist, the psychic teenager Charles Wallace, must work with a time-traveling winged unicorn from space to prevent this catastrophe by entering the minds of people from the past. It is much less interesting than it sounds.

Spoilers to follow.

These One-Dimensional Characters Keep Giving Birth to Themselves Like a Flock of Infuriatingly Dull Phoenixes 

The main plot has Charles Wallace travel to ca. 1170, ca. 1693 (Salem Witch Trials), ca. 1865 and ca. 1930s (or whenever Mrs. O’Keefe would have been a kid), plus the then-present day of 1978. Along the way, he chronicles the histories of several families, which include, by my count, about 30 characters who have only half a dozen different names and two personalities between them. 

The Maddox-Llawcaes: Technically two families, but they keep intermarrying each other to the point where I’m seriously questioning how inbred their modern descendants must be. This family was founded by a bunch of cliché Native Americans (stoic, wise, and otherwise devoid of personality) who married some woke Welshmen, repeatedly over multiple generations. They’re good. 

Gwydyr and his descendants: Distant relatives of the above, but descended from their patriarch’s ~evil~ brother. They’re evil and lust after virtuous Maddox-Llawcae women.

The Mortmains: They’re evil and lust after virtuous Maddox-Llawcae women.

The O’Keefes: They’re evil and lust after virtuous Maddox-Llawcae women. Also, they seem to hate disabled people. 

This is arguably a sex-linked trait; the one female character from an “evil” family seems relatively alright, but when she marries a Maddox-Llawcae she still passes evil on to their descendants. This turns out to be the driving crux of this story: Charles Wallace learns that the dictator is descended from that couple and was corrupted by his ancestress’ ~evil~ genes. To avert the apocalypse, Charles Wallace has to change history so that the Maddox-Llawcae man marries a Maddox-Llawcae woman instead. 

It’s pretty much impossible to interpret this as being about upbringing; it’s about blood. "Gwydyr’s line is tainted,” Charles Wallace says near the end. “There is nothing left but pride and greed for power and revenge.” At another point, a Maddox-Llawcae immediately writes off his unborn half-brother as evil because he has a Mortmain father. And he’s right---Unnamed Mortmain Sibling grows up to be a criminal and dies in jail. Hopefully without managing to pass on his dirty, inferior genes first, amirite? 

It doesn’t help that, even separated by centuries, relatives are often described as looking alike and/or having variations of the same names. Of those 30ish characters in these families we have three Mad(d)o(c)(k)/Madogs, two Gwydyrs, five Rich/Ritchie/Richards, three Bran(don)s, two Matt(hew)s, two Duthbert Mortmains (yeah, because that’s a name you want to keep in circulation for 300 years), and most egregiously of all, four of the main female characters are Zyll, Zylle, Zillah and Zillie. (Technically there are three Zillahs, if you count middle names.)

Obviously, genetic determinism is a questionable moral. It’s also really annoying, because each time period has the same basic characters just going through a variant of the same plot. There is hardly any character development across 800 years of history, and no permanent change from good to bad or vice versa.

In a way, this even ruins the previous books---Calvin O’Keefe became a good guy despite his dysfunctional family, but now I get the feeling that this isn’t supposed to be a testament to his strength as a person, it was just his mom’s Good Maddox Genes breaking through the Evil O’Keefe Heritage. But hey, the focus on Mom O’Keefe was nice in this book, since she’s practically the only one who has an actual character arc. 

Though, as you’ll see below, she was not actually needed for this story at all.

This Universe Has No God, Just a Tyrannical Plot Outline

Charles Wallace is the protagonist of this story, but probably gets mentioned on fewer than half of its pages. Mostly, he’s just psychically possessing people, during which time he does not control them so much as see their lives and...vaguely influence them, sometimes. What I’m saying is, he doesn’t really do much in this story. His grand moment, in the penultimate chapter, is to vaguely influence Matthew Maddox #1 to vaguely influence Rich Llawcae #3 to not to get stabbed by Gwydyr #2. This saves the world, but seems somewhat anticlimactic after 287 pages of build-up.

What’s worse: he actually tried to make this story shorter, and save me so much suffering. Unfortunately, “God” wouldn’t let him. At least, for a certain sense of the word. 

The Time Quintet is sort of like Chronicles of Narnia in that it’s a Christian story, but you have to dig a little beneath the surface to realize that. L’Engle’s beliefs were also more liberal than Lewis’, and in this book they seem almost pantheistic: Charles Wallace’s help seems to come less from a personal deity and more from a sort of implied sentience of the universe itself. This usually comes in the form of “the wind,” which blows him and the unicorn to different time periods at its own whim. 

Charles Wallace’s arc is that he is apparently a control freak, and needs to trust God/the universe to lead him, or something. He figures out early on that the key to everything is in 1865, but the unicorn says that no, we have to let the wind blow us where it wants. Twice he tries to fast-track things, and each time he and the unicorn almost die as a result; thus he learns that no, he should not be relying on his own intelligence or logic, he should just ~go with the flow~ and assume that things will work out. 

So basically, Charles Wallace has been tasked by Vague God to prevent the apocalypse, but he’s not allowed to do anything to actually try to prevent it---he’s basically just pushed into random corners and told to stay quiet, with the hope that his presence will change history through osmosis. I find myself comparing this to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. While I have some criticisms of this subplot, in that book Harry is presented with a choice: do what he thinks will save the world (looking into the Deathly Hallows), or what the Omniscient God Stand-In says will work (finding Voldemort’s Horcruxes). That works well enough, but here, Charles Wallace is given the choice between his own ideas and no actual instructions. He’s told to save the world, and then criticized for trying. 

There’s a part where the Echthroi (demons who want the nuclear apocalypse to happen) try to trick Charles Wallace by preying on his ego. This involves telling him he was selected to save the world because he’s intelligent and psychic and is a generally moral person, all of which is true. He rejects this, as he is supposed to, and at the end of the book notes that the mission did not succeed “because I was intelligent, or brave, or in control,” but because he let the wind guide him. Which just leads me to wonder why he was the one chosen to save humanity, when Vague God could have sent anyone else, or just cut out the middle-man and had a unicorn tell Bran Maddox #3 whom he was supposed to marry. 

But what really makes this intolerable? Charles Wallace was right. The key to everything is in 1865, he eventually gets blown there anyway, and it’s the only place where he concretely needed to do anything. So why the hell did we need 40 awful pages set during the Salem Witch Trials?! To teach us that the Salem Witch Trials were bad? Even the whole part in ca. 1930s was pointless---the only plot-relevant thing that we got there were hints about 1865′s importance, which Charles Wallace had already figured out but was scolded for suggesting. Other than that, these sections were just used to hammer in the idea that Maddox-Llawcaes are always good and the other families are always evil. 

So, my rewrite: Charles Wallace goes to 1170 and sees Madoc and Gwydyr. Then he either a.) figures out the importance of 1865 with his family’s help, as he does in the book, or b.) goes to the 1930s and figures things out from the clues there, while also learning the fairly-interesting-but-technically-irrelevant backstory about Mrs. O’Keefe. Either way, he decides to go to 1865, thus justifying his role as protagonist, and the fact that he is actively trying to save the world is not treated as a moral failing. 

Comparisons to the Previous Books, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love at Bombs

This is my third Madeline L’Engle book, and really, these problems were present in the first two, even if they were less pronounced. Both ended with the protagonist (Charles Wallace’s older sister Meg, who arguably is more important than him in this book, too) saving the day with the Power of Love---meaning that she didn’t so much do anything as feel a certain way. Here, Charles Wallace does even less, just watching other people fall in love while his own character arc is in opposition to the actual plot. 

L’Engle’s strength does not seem to be coherent stories or complex characterization so much as weird, cool ideas---for example, a time-traveling space unicorn. But compared to previous books, this one is pretty down-to-earth; after hitching a ride on said unicorn, Charles Wallace mostly just watches people live fairly typical lives. While A Wrinkle in Time’s villain, a demonic alien brain, could theoretically wither at the approach of a sibling’s love, it’s harder to imagine a nuclear war being averted by nothing more than some shoehorned character development. 

For the record, I bought the fourth Time Quintet book at the same time as this one. I really, really hope that it’s better, but it will probably be a while before I get to it. 

Other Nitpicks

The whole clue leading to 1865 involves a book written by Matthew Maddox #1, who’s from that time. It’s about time-traveling unicorns and family feuds and the like, the basic idea being that he witnesses Charles Wallace and all the supernatural happenings and writes it down as a novel. Fine, okay, but people who talk about this novel keep emphasizing how revolutionary and amazing it was, which kind of feels like L’Engle just patting herself on the back for this awful, awful story.

At the end of the book, the time-traveling unicorn erases the memories of Charles Wallace and his sister Meg, for...some reason? I honestly don’t know why he did this; the pair knew about supernatural creatures even before this book, and they can still half-remember what happened anyway, so this seems pretty pointless. 

This line, from the 1865 arc: “When the sons of men fight against each other in hardness of heart, why should God not withdraw? Slavery is evil, God knows, but war is evil, too, evil, evil.” Not a bad point, but juxtaposed to the characters’ passivity I can’t help but snark: “Yeah, why can’t people just love at each other and magically fix everything, right?”

I’m Tough But Fair: Some Good Points

There are time-traveling winged unicorns from space. They eat moonlight, drink starlight, and hatch from eggs, as we see on a brief trip to their home planet. So yeah, L’Engle is pretty good at Science Fantasy weirdness.

Honestly, the other filler chapters were pretty good too, if only because they distract from the annoying main story. Even the purple prose about “the harmonies of the universe” are alright sometimes. 

Like I said, Mrs. O’Keefe could have been cut, but her arc, going from innocent little girl to crotchety old lady to redeemed old lady, was a good one. And her brother being named “Chuck,” like Charles Wallace, actually felt like it meant something instead of being yet another case of Generation Xerox. 

Along those lines, I like that the Murrays didn’t turn out to be some distant cousins of the Maddox-Llawcaes. That would have been annoying.

The 1865 arc was easily the best in the book. Even with the blood-based moral alignments, the characters still had actual arcs about overcoming disabilities, PTSD...like, expand this and cut out the stupid Salem Witch Trial arc, which was so, so bad. Also, was I just imagining it, or was Matthew #1 in love with Zillah #1? ‘Cause him arranging for her to marry Bran #3 is even more touching if he did. 

Conclusion

Um...the book sucked. 

I wrote this over three days, and it wound up being more than 2,200 words. Wow.

[eaglesfan986]

Christina Grimmie: One Of My Idols, Gone Too Soon.

WARNING: This is going to be a very long post, so unless you have the time or patience to read it all the way through, I suggest you keep scrolling.

Christina Victoria Grimmie was an American singer who started off on YouTube. She and I both grew up in New Jersey, she lived only a few miles away from me, before moving to Los Angeles. She was only a couple months younger than me. As I’m typing this, it’s been over a week since the 2-year anniversary of her untimely death in Orlando, Florida. I’ve been having a hard time getting her off my mind all week, so I figured the best way to get this off my chest would be to just let it all out. Share my story about Christina, like how I was introduced to her, what I liked about her, and how I heard of her tragic passing. So, here goes.

I first heard of Christina some time in 2011, when I heard that she was touring with Selena Gomez on her We Own The Night tour. At the time, I was obsessed with Selena, so when I heard of her, I looked her up, and sure enough, I came across her YouTube channel. In her first couple years on YouTube, Christina just uploaded song covers on YouTube. Some of my favorites were her covers of Skyscraper by Demi Lovato, My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion, We Found Love by Rihanna & Calvin Harris, Impossible by Shontelle, and of course, Just A Dream by Nelly with Sam Tsui. Before I looked her up, I realized that I had seen her YouTube videos before, her videos at the time were titled, “Me Singing _____,” so I didn’t really think about checking them out at the time. I’m glad I finally gave her a shot. When I watched her more and more, and followed her on more social media sites, I realized that she had more than just a beautiful singing voice, she also had a heart of gold, and was very goofy. She loved making people laugh, and she participated in many charity events that she could. In fact, her last video before her death was her asking her fans to participate in this charity for animals in need that she was a part of, called the Humane Society of The United States (HSUS).

When I heard that she had made original music, I knew I wanted to buy them myself. I remember waiting to receive an iTunes gift card, so I could download her music, Throughout her music career, she had released two EPs, a studio album, and a few singles. Some of my favorite songs of hers are: Liar Liar, Counting, Advice,  With Love, Get Yourself Together, Make It Work, The One That Got Away, My Anthem, and more.

One of my favorite segments on her YouTube channel was her Above All That Is Random series, that she would do with her friend, Sarah. In those videos, they would sing just a bunch of random, goofy things in autotune. For the last 3 episodes, they asked the fans to write down some lines that they could use in the final cut. Her sense of humor also consisted of posting April Fool’s videos. Her first one was her crying, saying that she had enough of people harassing her, that she was giving up music, and moving back to New Jersey from Los Angeles. She almost got me, but when I saw the date on the video, I was like, “OK, say [April Fool’s].” She did manage to get many of her fans, some of which posted videos begging Christina not to give up, and that they were there to support her. Later that day, she did release another video, saying that the first one was a joke, and she apologized for freaking her fans out.

In early 2012, Christina introduced in a new video this new hand gesture for her fans, who she called, Frands (friend and fan), and Team Grimmie. The hand gesture was simply holding up 3 fingers, as if someone was saying they wanted a quantity of 3 of something. She called it, “RAWWK Fingers.” No, that wasn’t a typo. Christina loved misspelling words, she would often say on social media, “Team Grimmie RAWWKS,” that’s what the hand gesture was supposed to represent. For my high school graduation later that year, I actually did the RAWWK Fingers when posing for a few pictures. My friends thought I was throwing gang signs.

In early 2014, Christina auditioned for season 6 of NBC’s The Voice. Her blind audition was her singing Miley Cyrus’s Wrecking Ball, and within 10 seconds, she had 3 chairs turned for her (Usher, Shakira, and Adam Levine), however she did manage to make Blake Shelton turn his chair at the end. Christina ended up joining Adam’s team, and the two of them became inseparable, he even went backstage to hug her mom, who Christina said on stage was her inspiration, and had battled breast cancer 3 times. I never watched The Voice before, but when I heard that Christina was going to be on it, you bet I watched the entirety of that season. I did everything I could to help Christina win, I called the phone number that they showed us to call to cast a vote, and I even helped save her on Twitter, with the hashtag, #VoiceSave. Unfortunately though, I didn’t have the money to buy all the songs that she sang on the show at the time, so I couldn’t do much to vote for her there. Me watching The Voice was how my family was introduced to Christina, they said they loved her, and were rooting for her throughout the season. She made it all the way to the finals, but in the end, she only got 3rd place. I was a little disappointed, but I was happy that she at least made it that far.

Then, in the morning of July 11, 2016, I heard of the tragic story of Christina’s death. I was on YouTube, and I saw a video from Keemstar’s Drama Alert titled, “Christina Grimmie Shot.” Seeing how that was from Keemstar, I knew I couldn’t trust him for accurate news, so I looked it up on Google, and unfortunately, Keemstar was right. Christina was performing at The Plaza Live in Orlando, Florida, opening up for the band, Before You Exit, and after the concert, she had a Meet-and-Greet, and one of her fans took out a gun, and opened fire on her. Her brother, Marcus, tackled the gunman, who then killed himself. The police later reported that Christina was rushed to the hospital, but died there. I was utterly shocked, I couldn’t believe it. I thought, “Who would kill such an innocent, fun-loving, caring girl like Christina.” I later realized that the guy who killed her was an obsessed fan, who fantasized of marrying her, but then found out she had a boyfriend from one of his coworkers. What’s most disturbing is that the guy actually had 2 guns on hand, 2 fully loaded magazines, and a hunting knife. I was disgusted to find out that The Plaza Live at the time had no metal detectors, and no pat downs, they just checked people’s bags. Of course, many people, including myself, were outraged that this happened, and part of me felt like suing The Plaza Live for having inadequate security. All this happened only a couple days before The Pulse Nightclub shooting in the same town.

I talked to some of my coworkers about Christina’s death, and as it turned out, one of them actually met her in person one time. This coworker said that Christina was friends with someone in his family (I can’t recall if it was his daughter or niece), he even had a picture of them together, and I asked him if I could see it. He let me see it, and I was delighted to see Christina’s smiling face on that photo.

Adam Levine, Christina’s former coach on The Voice, was of course heartbroken over Christina’s death, and offered to pay for her funeral. Christina was buried in a private ceremony on June 16, 2016 at Berlin Cemetery in Berlin, New Jersey. 

In early 2017, Christina’s family released her first posthumous song, Invisible, which would later have an animated music video. That year, Christina’s family released one posthumous EP, Side B, and her 1st posthumous (2nd overall) album, All Is Vanity. I, of course, bought them as soon as I could. A couple of my favorite songs on All Is Vanity are Echo, and Everybody Lies, while on Side B, I really like Invisible, I Only Miss You When I Breathe, and her cover of Jason Mraz’s I Won’t Give Up   In April of 2017, Adam performed Hey Jude by The Beatles on The Voice with his team, in memory of Christina.

Earlier this year, Christina’s family released another posthumous single, Little Girl, which I bought only a couple days ago. Christina’s mother actually released a video a day before the song was released to talk about how much that song meant to her, and Christina. She goes on about how Christina was a toddler, she was worried that her mom was going to die because of her cancer at the time. It gets very emotional, and truth be told, I didn’t even watch the whole thing, because I didn’t think I would be able to take it.

A few days ago, I came across this Creepypasta reading on YouTube. It was titled, “Christina Grimmie Final Goodbye.” The story was basically, this guy hears about the death of Christina Grimmie, and a few months later, he discovers this playlist of alleged unlisted videos of Christina Grimmie, and he comes across this one video of hers that was uploaded on that day. He clicks on the video, and he sees Christina in her room, her face covered in blood, she’s crying hysterically, and choking on her own words. Basically, Christina is thanking her fans for all the love they’ve given her over the past few months. She then tells them that she wants them to be strong, that she’ll always remember all the good times she had going on tour seeing their smiling faces, and that she’s sorry she never got the chance to say goodbye. The guy is confused as to how this video was uploaded months after Christina’s death. The video eventually starts buffering, and he reloads the page, only for the video, and playlist, to suddenly vanish. 

Of course, people were outraged over this Creepypasta reading, saying that the guy was only profiting off of Christina’s death. While I can understand their point, I actualy enjoyed the video, it felt very uplifting, and truth be told, I wish that story was based on a true story. What that story said that Christina said actually did sound like something Christina would say. I tried looking up the original story, but no luck, it must have gotten removed because of Christina’s angry fans.

A couple days ago, Scribbler released a video on YouTube of a big brony collab cover of “You Will Be Found from the Broadway musical, Dear Even Hansen, to raise money for The Trevor Project, a charity dedicated to help prevent suicide from those in the LGBTQ community. I ended up leaving a comment that consisted of a quote from one of Christina’s songs. The quote was, “You are an extremely unique and individual person. And I’m telling you, don’t let those invalid opinions of others just bring you to the pits, OK? You’re strong, so own it. Love, me.” I also went on about how recently was the 2-year anniversary of her death, that she was my idol, and how I missed her so much. In hindsight, I think it may have been a little bit selfish to talk about Christina on a video that had nothing to do with her. Like I said earlier, I’ve been having a hard time getting her off my mind, and I want to get it off my chest.

We all miss you so much, Christina. Hope you’re singing with the angels as I’m typing this. <3 <3

Love,

Chris

[meteora-writes]

Drowning In Myself

Chapter 2: My Medication

Paring: Nick Clark x Troy Otto (eventually)

Warnings: No Apocalypse, Recreational Drug Use, Drug Abuse, Addict!Nick, Drug Dealer Troy, Past Child Abuse, Violence (in future chapters), Swearing, Survivors Guilt, Slow Build, Flirting, 

Read Chapter 1 Here

~~~~~

When Troy's phone went off just before midnight a week later, he wasn't honestly surprised. A little annoyed that his sleep was interrupted, but not surprised.

"Ello?" He slurred tiredly into the receiver.  

"Hey, Troy? It's Nick. Did I wake you?"

"Yup." Troy said with a put-upon sigh. "Now what can I do for my favorite junkie insomniac at this late hour?" He asked as he forced himself to sit, free hand coming up to run through his hair.

Nick let a chuckle slip at the mock endearment. "I'm out. Any chance you could make a delivery?" He asked, voice a little sheepish. "I have that 10 I lost last time. I double counted before I called."

"Yeah? Alright. Same place as last time?" Troy asked, fighting back a yawn as he reached over to turn on the lamp beside his bed.  

"Yeah. Listen, can you call when you get here? Some people have been driving around the neighborhood looking for me and I'm trying not to go out if I can help it."

Troy heaved another sigh at that, this one out of irritation. "Look, I'm not gonna drive out there if there's a chance someone's gonna jump me looking for you."

"What? No! No! No! It's nothing like that! It's my mom and her fiancée. When I didn't come back after a couple days they found out where Glo died and came looking for me. I traded half of what I got from you last time to another junkie that used to crash here so he'd tell them I haven't been around, but I don't think they believed him." Nick explained quickly.

Pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration, Troy took a deep breath before speaking again. "Alright, fine. What do they look like and what kind of car's do they drive so I know what to be on the lookout for?"

Nick rattled off the info Troy needed, said they probably aren't out looking for him this late since they both have work in the morning, but he figured better safe than sorry.

It was close to 1am when Troy pulled up down the street from the church. He figured it was better to park away from the Church in case Nick's parents or a cop drove by. As he hopped out of the truck he pulled out his phone and hit dial on the last number that called him.

"Troy?" Nick asked from the other end of the line.

"Yeah, hey, I just parked down the street. Be there in a minute." He said as he quickly made his way down the sidewalk. The street was deserted, and he was more than capable of taking care of himself in a confrontation, but that didn't mean he wanted to be out here any longer than he had to be.

"Alright, I'll meet you at the side door." Nick said before hanging up.

Troy pulled his phone away from his ear and blinked at the little 'call ended' screen a moment before shaking his head and stuffing the device in his pocket. He made his way to the broken section of fence, taking a cursory look around before climbing through and walking around to the door he and Nick had gone into the last time he was here.  

To his surprise when he tried the handle, the knob turned but the door didn't budge. So, after giving it another rattle he knocked on the door lightly. "Hey, it's Troy. Open up." He said in a voice just loud enough to be heard through the old wooden door.

A moment later there was a couple metallic clicks and then the door was swinging open to reveal the shadowed figure of Nick. "Hey, come in." He said, stepping aside to let Troy step in before he closed the door behind him and latched a set of bolts that looked like they were fairly new.

"You really don't want to be found, huh?" Troy asked as he stepped aside to let Nick take the lead.

Nick shook his head as he led Troy down the short hallway that led to the nave of the church. "Well, not by my family at least." He said with a shake of his head.

When they got up to the balcony Troy was able to get a better look at Nick. He was wearing the same grey hoodie, a pair of black sweatpants with a few holes in the legs, and a pair of mismatched blue and red socks. He looked like he hadn't slept or eaten in a while. "You eat today?" He found himself asking as Nick sat on the edge of his mattress as he had before.

"Huh? Oh... Uh... No... I was going to... but my buddy Ben said he'd seen my mom asking around for me, like, right before we ran into each other and I couldn't risk it." He said dismissively as he pulled a wad of bills from under the edge of the mattress and started to count. "Ben said he'd try to come by with some food, but I think he forgot. Dude's got water on the brain. He has to write shit on his hand or he'll forget half of it."

With a sigh Troy turned to walk back down the stairs. "I'll be back in ten."

"What? Why? Where are you going?" Nick asked, jumping up quickly to follow after him.

"There's a McDonalds three blocks over. I'm going to get you something to eat so you don't die on me. I really don't need Calvin showing up at my door in the middle of the night lookin' to cap me for killing his childhood best friend." Troy explained as he made his way around the hallway.

Nick laughed at that, the sound a bit manic again as he continued to follow Troy. "You're joking, right?" He asked as he watched Troy unlatch the two bolts and open the door.

"Do I look like I'm joking, Nicky?" He asked as he turned so Nick could see his face in the orange flow of the street lights that lined the block around the church. His expression was sincere. "I'm going to get you some food. If it makes you feel better I'll get myself some too, but you're eating something before I leave you with your fix. Deal?" He said, holding his hand out to Nick.

Nick hesitated, eyeing Troy like he was trying to figure out if he was for real or not. Finally, he took Troy's hand and gave it one good shake before stuffing his hand back into the pocket of his hoodie. "Deal."

Troy gave Nick a broad smile then. "Alright, I'll be back in ten." He reiterated before stepping out into the humid August air. He heard Nick close the door behind him as he walked away. When he stepped out onto the sidewalk he took a look around to make sure the street was still empty before heading for his truck.

True to his word he was back ten minutes later with a bag full of dollar menu items and two large cokes. He managed not to drop anything as he navigated the broken panel of the fence and made his way around the door. He clenched the bag of food between his teeth to free a hand and gave a quick knock before taking the bag back. "Nick, you there?" He asked, again keeping his voice just loud enough to be heard through the door.

A moment later the latches were released and Nick was holding the door open for him again. This time Troy didn't wait for him, walking on ahead with their meal and drinks in hand. "I wasn't sure what you'd want or how hungry you were, so I got bunch of dollar junk." He explained as he went.

A moment later Nick was following after him, staying only a pace or so behind the taller man as they walked. "You really didn’t have to do this. I woulda been fine until Ben remembered to come by."

Troy snored at that. "Trust me, if he's got a drinking problem, it could be days before he remembers you." He said, tone bitter as they started to ascend the stairs. How many times had his parents said they would do something only to forget? How many times did his mother lock him in the basement only to forget he was down there? He knew all too well how easy it was for someone to say something then do another when drink was involved.

"Ben's not like that. Yeah, he drank, but he stopped a year ago. He probably got held up somewhere." Nick justified as he walked past Troy to sit on the floor before his mattress. He grabbed the battery powered lantern and twisted a knob to make it bright enough that Troy could actually see quite well in the otherwise dark church.

Troy came to sit across from him in roughly the same spot he'd sat when he watched Nick shoot up during their first meeting. He set the bag between them and the tray of drinks beside that before he started to pull food out of the bag and set it on the floor between them  

"He's really a good kid. His parents would beat him and he started drinking to deal. He drank too much and it gave him some syndrome. It fucked his memory and balance up. But he doesn't drink anymore. If he did it could kill him." Nick explained as he picked up the closest coke and started to chew on the end of the straw. The piece of plastic distorting his speech a bit.

Troy blinked up at Nick from his task. "Okay." Is all he said before grabbing a cheeseburger and starting to unwrap it.

Nick grabbed one of his own and played with the wrapper a bit, not looking at Troy as he spoke again. "I really do appreciate this, so you know. I'll pay you back." He said before taking a bite and full on moaning at the taste of the first food he'd had in three days.

With a chuckle Troy grabbed his soda and lifted it to take a sip. "Don't worry about it. I was hungry anyway." He said with a shrug. It wasn't a lie. He'd had an early dinner with his brother that night and he was pretty damn hungry now.

"You this accommodating with all your customers?" Nick asked with a small smile before taking another bite of his burger.

"Better to have happy customers that'll keep doing business with you than not." Troy said around a mouth full of fries.

"That is a good point. Careful though, some people will take advantage of that." Nick said, smile growing wider as he eyed Troy.

"They try and they'll get dropped real quick. I'm not the type to be messed with." Troy said simply before finishing his burger and crumpling the wrapper into a ball.

Nick nodded his understanding "Yeah, I believe that. You've got this, like, vibe about you. You're good at pulling the innocent look, but I could totally see you going psycho on someone in an instant if they messed with you."

Troy outright laughed at that, shaking his head as he reached for another burger. "You have no idea how on the nose you are there."

Nick just smiled at Troy again. "You know those vending machines in strip malls that cost 50 cents and give you a random sticker or temporary tattoo wedged between two pieces of cardboard? When I was a kid I got a sticker from one with a yellow rabbit on it that said 'Cute but psycho, thing's even out.'. First time I saw you that phrase popped into my head."

"So, you think I'm cute, huh?" Troy asked innocently, giving a wicked little smile of his own at the way Nick's eyes grew wide a moment.

Nick shrugged, ducking his head as he crumpled up the wrapper from his burger. "Depends, you gonna go psycho on me if I say yes?" He said carefully, glancing up at Troy from under his shaggy bangs.

Troy shook his head, still smiling as he reached out and grabbed another burger to hand to Nick. "I don't date customers, but if you wanna tell me I'm cute I won't complain." He said, tone still light and a bit playful.

Nick grinned at that and took the offered food. They finished their meal, talking about nothing of import before Troy realized he'd left Nick's drugs in the locked glove box of his truck. He made his way outside, not thinking to look around before stepping out onto the street. That's when something hit him in the side of the head and everything went black.

[hekate1308]

The Baggage We Carry, Chapter Five

Read it on AO3

Alright, Dean might have been trying harder in school than he had before. But he still didn’t think he deserved any of the rapturous praise Miss Rachel heaped on him – despite his suspicions that she herself took the credit for getting him interested in doing his work in the first place.

“That was so embarrassing, I am never going to her class again”.

“Don’t be silly Squirrel, of course you are”.

“Because you of all people know how important it is to attend.”

Crowley shrugged and lit a cigarette.

“But Dean” Cas said, his face glowing, “you really did extremely well. It’s gratifying to see that your work paid off”.

“Can you even talk like a normal person, Feathers?”

“Would any of us know what that sounds like?” Dean asked.

“You’ve got a point there”.

And Dean realized that he’d never felt happier than right here on the roof, with his best friend smoking next to him and his – other best friend beaming brightly.

I’ll probably never be this happy again, he thought suddenly. This is it for me.

Cas reached out and squeezed his shoulder.

Yep, definitely it for me.

“Would you two cut it out? I’m feeling left out” Crowley pouted, but Dean knew he was only kidding.

The next weekend, he and Cas had met up in the library, Dean telling himself that no, this was not a date, no matter how much he might have liked it to be; his annoying crush sadly showed no sign of going away soon, and he’d have to deal with it eventually.

Not that particular Saturday though, so he shrugged it off like the mature human being he was.

Karen surprised by suddenly moving into their corner and saying, “Robert and I would like to invite you to dinner... Crowley and Sam too, of course. Are you free next Friday?”

“Ah – I – me and Sammy, yeah. Cas?”

“I accept your invitation, Mrs. Singer. Thank you very much.”

“You can call me Karen as well, Cas. What about Crowley?”

“Oh, he usually shows up, believe me”.

And yet it was Crowley who had the strangest reaction to the invite.

Mom and Dad didn’t think much of it; the Singers had no kids themselves, so it was normal they’d have others over now and then; and they’d known them for years, so they weren’t worried for their safety.

Sam seemed to see it as his invitation to the “big boys club”, seeing how much he gushed about it (even though he was the last person to need such a thing since he was probably going to be taller than Dean, which he was not angry about. At all).

Dean hadn’t told his parents Crowley was also supposed to be there, of course. That would only have led to questions he very much didn’t want to answer.

But when he told him at school (during a break since Cas always looked so disappointed when he skipped lessons), his friend blinked before saying slowly, “Mrs. Singer asked me to come over to her house... for dinner”.

“Yep. Friday. If you don’t have anything to do – “

“And she wants me to come?”

It was then that Dean realized.

He and Crowley only ever met at school or went to the library and in all these years, he’d never even seen him talk to someone other than him except for Cas.

The guy had probably never been invited anywhere in his life.

“Sure. And you could meet Sam.”

“You want to introduce me to your brother!?”

“Sure. We’re besties, right?”

“Yes” Crowley answered still as slowly as before, “I guess we really are”.

For the first time, it occurred to Dean that he wouldn’t be the only one who’d suffer when Crowley inevitably left and their friendship ended.

“So, you free on Friday?”

“Sure” Crowley said, as self-assured as ever as if the last two minutes hadn’t occurred.

When Dean told Cas in class, he shrugged.

“It’s not easy being lonely.”

“You have five older siblings” he reminded him.

“And none of them really talks to me, not like you...”

He looked into Dean’s eyes again, and once more, he was caught like a deer in headlights.

“Or Crowley” Cas added belatedly.

Dean blushed and looked away.

This was getting out of hand.

Come Friday, Sam insisted that yes, he had to wear a shirt to his jeans (while still refusing to have his hair cut, sadly) while Dean wore the same clothes he always did when he saw Karen. No point in playing dress-up now.

Dad even let him drive the Impala to the Singers’ house.

“That weird knocking stopped” Sam observed when he got in.

“Yeah, fixed it yesterday afternoon”.

“You’ll do great in the shop”.

Dean didn’t answer.

“What are you up to anyway?” Sam suddenly asked.

“What do you mean?”

“It feels like we never talk anymore” he complained. “You’re always in your room, or God knows where. Mom and Dad don’t think much about it, but I do”.

It surprised Dean – it didn’t seem like a recent development to him. He felt like they hadn’t really talked in years.

“I’ve been busy with school, yes”.

“Please” Sam huffed. “We both know you don’t care”.

That stung more than it should have.

Again, he was quiet.

After about five minutes of silence, Sam did something unexpected.

He murmured “I’m sorry”.

“What?”

“You go quiet when you’re hurt. You didn’t mean to”.

None of you do, Dean thought, and that’s the problem. If you were like Crowley’s mother, it wouldn’t be a problem. But you do care, and I hate myself for wanting to hate you now and then.

“I know Sammy”.

“You’re still hurt”.

“Feelings aren’t cars. You can’t fix them like that.”

“I know... I’m still sorry”.

Dean looked at his brother and nodded.

He was starting to think Sam might actually be growing up.

“Dean, Sam!”.

Karen beamed.

“Come on in. Crowley and Cas just arrived”.

Dean wanted to ask if they had arrived together, but refrained from it.

What Cas and Crowley got up when they were alone (if they even hung out together without him, it wasn’t like he had asked if they did) wasn’t any of his business.

They were indeed already sitting at the table, talking to Bobby.

“Hi Bobby.”

“Hi boys, sit down”.

As always, Karen had prepared an excellent meal. Dean knew she was a great cook from the food she snuck into the library on a regular basis, but he was ready to bet that meat loaf was the best he’d ever had, even better than (God forgive him) Mom’s.

“So, did you read about the new advances they made concerning autonomous cars?” Bobby asked casually.

Dean nodded.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’d die to get my hands on the charts, but part of me’s a bit worried. I think I read Sally too many times”.

Bobby chuckled at the same time as Sammy breathed, “That’s Asimov”.

“Sorry?”

“Sally. That’s a story by Isaac Asimov”.

“Tell me about it, Moose” Crowley sighed. “I have never read I, Robot but I can tell you anything you need to know about Susan Calvin.”

Sam was silent for a moment before he said, “But... you don’t like to read”.

“Of course he does. That’s how he met Karen, when he came to the library to check out... Vonnegut, wasn’t it, son?”

“Yeah” he said slowly. He was starting to think Karen and Bobby had included Sam in the invitation exactly for this talk to happen.

He might have complained about his brother in the library a few weeks ago, he remembered. And he hadn’t sounded that different from Sammy in the car – because he felt he didn’t really know him, they barely talked these days.

“You like Kurt Vonnegut? I’ve read Slaughterhouse-Five, and Cat’s Cradle, but the first was much better – “

“Are you saying something against Cat’s Cradle?” he interrupted him at the same time as Crowley groaned.

“You’ve done it now”.

“Dean let me discuss it with him” Cas piped up.

“You ever realize that’s because of your pretty blue eyes?”

“Boys, stop bickering, we were talking about books”.

And not just books. Yes, Dean could have held himself back; but for the first time ever, he was actually having a meal during which most people understood him for who and what he was, and it was exhilarating.

“Crowley” Karen asked eventually, “Are you still focused on getting into Harvard?”

“Sure, someone has to save the world eventually”.

“Always thought you’d rather watch it burn” Bobby chuckled.

“Let’s call it a fifty-fifty chance then. Would have better odds if I could get Squirrel and Feathers to go with me, of course”.

“I wouldn’t even be able to afford the gas to get there”.

“Please, we’d fly, of course.”

“If you think I’d ever set foot onto one of these metal death traps...”

“Statistically, they are safer than cars, Dean” Cas interjected.

“Yes, and statistically, twenty percents of all statistics are wrong”.

“You’d make a good student, no matter what college” Karen said gently. “If you wanted, of course”.

And that was it, right there: If you wanted.

His parents had never used that phrase.

Would it really have been too much to ask? Just once?

“Yeah, well...” he mumbled.

Cas reached over to squeeze his hand again. Dean felt Sam’s eyes on them, while Crowley stayed blessedly silent this time around.

Karen was grinning at them, and even Bobby gave them a knowing look.

Dean pulled back and cleared his throat.

This hand holding definitely had to stop. He didn’t just go and hold his other friends’ hands, didn’t he?

Nope, but remember when you used to fool around with Crowley? His brain happily supplied.

Good God, he definitely should learn to draw a line between friendship and... something else.

Even if he and Crowley had somehow managed to stay besties.

Maybe because they were both insane, in their own way.

The dinner went great, regardless.

It felt so nice to just let go and have fun for once.

Crowley didn’t step out once to have a smoke. Dean was starting to wonder whether he really liked cigarettes or not.

As they said goodbye, Karen pulled each one of them into a hug, one after another; and it wasn’t difficult to realize from the looks on Cas’ and Crowley’s face, that they were not used to this kind of affection.

Really, in certain ways, Dean was luckier than both of them.

His parents might not have paid much attention to him, the real him, but he had never doubted they loved him and Sam.

Cas was every day ignored by his family members and Crowley...

The less said about his mother the better, really.

Karen and Bobby had seen it from the beginning, just like they’d known Dean to be unhappy.

They really were good people, and Dean was glad to have them in his life, in all of their lives, really.

“Dean” Sam began on the drive home, “I underestimated you all these years. I’m sorry”.

He snorted.

“Relax, Sammy. You’re twelve. I’m pretty sure you’re allowed to get a few things wrong now and then.”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it”.

Then he asked, “Why do you never talk about this stuff at home? Books, college...”

“Because Mom and Dad love reminding me that I won’t need either”.

“But...”

“Sammy, you know how happy they are about me taking over the garage. Plus, quite frankly, I don’t think they believe me up to college, and they may just be right about that”.

“Dean, I didn’t even get half the stuff you were talking about physics with Bobby”.

“Yeah, well... It’s interesting. Doesn’t mean I have the brains for college”.

“The others think so, and Cas and Crowley are pretty smart”.

He had to admit even he couldn’t find anything to say.

Still, he couldn’t help but think that he knew their parents a little better than his brother.

“Alright, I’ll try. You’ll see”.

[cnisms]

ok u know what ? what i had planned was taking way too long n i don’t wanna rush myself so let me just share what i have n then we’ll take it from there xx HELLO AGAIN ! i’m emmy (she/her) of the house aest/gmt+10 aka yes i did wake up at 6am on a saturday then fall asleep halfway through putting this together. my things are intersectional feminism, avocados, inxs, dogs, history, and watching every single tv show to ever exist (except suits... one day...) ! i have 25 too many muses so get ready for one line on each ! don’t @ me bc they’re all fleshed out and if u wanna ask abt any of them, i’m ready 2 go off. do @ me bc i’m too lazy to finish their individual pages. anyways ! i love plotting so if ur interested... pick a muse or five and we’ll brainstorm !!

i do have a muse navigation here which you can click through. an amazing 2 out of 25 muse pages are completely finished, some have completed stats, most have shit-all. also, they do have intro posts in this tag but probably don’t read them bc they’re mostly messy and expired memes.

MARI RIBEIRO (camila mendes, 21) rich girl with her shit mostly sorted. was loved an unrealistic amount by her parents and now does the same to her friends. if ethan jumped off a bridge, would mari do it too? absolutely. always overreacting to something. can’t drive.

TOMAS TURUNEN (bill skarsgard, 25) pretentious romantic. mad at his dad and takes it out on everyone else w mind games. has probably killed someone. manages the bar in soho and that is literally... all most people know about his private (fake) ass.

CICI GAUTIER (elle fanning, 18) thinks she’s marie antoinette. filthy rich, filthy morals. does whatever jennifer meade tells her to if she can’t make someone else do it for her. uncomfortably obsessed with her cousin (no incest tho, i promise). very very little empathy. absolutely the type to costume change at any event.

WES KOTECHA (avan jogia, 24) has a lot of feelings, all of them hurt. plays guitar (and keytar but...) for liberal scum. tfw no gf meme. king of making dinner awkward by either bringing up his latest personal problems or just getting into politics. surrounds himself w vegans.

MINDY WILLIAMS (margaret qualley, 22) the goth girl kevsdgaf is always tweeting about. monotone. only listens to one direction or the cure. loves twilight and shakespeare. the weird girl who never got over her vampire phase. rarely experiences bad moods.

BECK HOLMES (alfie enoch, 29) big nerd. means well. loves learning and helping others learn. literally does not ever stop looking for new information to absorb. needs better friends right now immediately. does not have a life outside of his few friends n his books.

ROSIE RIVERA BLANCHE (eiza gonzalez, 25) my first muse... my baby... biological and adoptive daughter of rock royalty. got into acting instead. too good for the show she’s on but hasn’t gotten any other big offers. thinks she’s better than everyone else. friendship and romance? she doesn’t know either. just hugo.

ANGEL ROSADO (zoe kravitz, 24) heiress to a resort empire, head of a fitness one. competitive. has considered having other gyms burned down. has her head stuck up her own ass most of the time. dependent on her family. takes everything personally.

AJA PAREKH (naomi scott, 22) farm girl who was forced to run away to the city when family dramas got tough. can’t decide if her dream is to drive a van around europe or just milk some cows. super friendly, super annoying. doesn’t even know how to acknowledge a problem.

ARABELLA GOMFREY (gabriella wilde, 23) lucrezia borgia. pious. thinks her family are right about everything no matter how wrong it is. would do anything to make them look good. cliquey. likes surrounding herself with beautiful people but gets pressed if they’re cuter than her. nice until you come for her family. 

ZACH BALTAZAR (jamie blackley, 25) insecure or just lazy? he’ll crack a joke about it. deserves happiness but doubts that. is up for anything but will judge you the whole time. king of impressive first dates and romantic poetry then forgetting to text you back for a solid three weeks.

NATALYA BELYAKOVA (alicia vikander, 27) boring. literally just reads, works and wears pencil skirts. actually only moved to london to get bloody revenge on the people who killed her father and brother. good at keeping secrets obviously. smart.

ALANIS BAUMANN (emily ratajkowski, 25) a hero. literally scammed 9 different people for money telling them her baby was theirs before calvin shut that down. actually named her kid freddie mercury. would die for him. crude. just tryna have a good time.

CONSTANCE ABERNATHY (diana silvers, 20) church girl who didn’t wanna go to church or read her bible. got married young n ran away. not the one who put her husband in a coma but we all have our suspicions. was famous on vine and refuses to let it go. kinda mean. 

PARIS BAYOUMI (mimi elashiry, 20) full time kitchen witch. has a herb garden that she actually talks to. will ask how you are then immediately tune out. serene. unintentionally sardonic. tells detailed stories that literally no one cares about. no one knows anything about where she came from.

GWEN HATHAWAY (madchen amick, 43) soft spoken angel who can and will turn into the actual devil if you get in her way. still dealing with the 90s. has children somewhere. impulsive. always putting herself first. seems so sweet it’ll takes a second to realize she doesn’t care.

LUKE FALLEY (toby regbo, 25) the biggest pain in the ass. seems to think he knows everything. actually does not have a mean bone in his body but seems condescending. always got some weird shit to say. feminist. does not stop talking ever.

HELENA O’SHEA (lily james, 26) the girl who had it all together at a young age n then fell from grace. successful wedding planner who threw it all away out of embarrassment when she got dumped and called off her wedding. miserable. hates children. extremely organized.

GIA VISARIYA (charli xcx, 23) actual queen of youtube. writes n stars in a ‘reality’ series there. very loud and very friendly. thinks of everyone as a bff. if you end up in her contacts for whatever reason she will invite you out every weekend. needs some manners.

VERONIKA ERIKSON (angelina jolie, 40) goddess. half retired supermodel who has spent the last 20 years trying to have a baby. got divorced n “””moved on””” bc she couldn’t take the heartache anymore. iconic aunt. deserves the world. now flips houses to keep herself busy.

LUMA PONTECORVO (sofia black-d’elia, 23) such a bad influence that her older brother literally set her up in a different country so she would stop getting his kids into trouble. brat. always showing up to work late and hungover. cunty. mad abt her mom dipping.

ELIZABETH LEBLANC (margot robbie, 27) fakes the domestic goddess stereotype to please other people. gets her kicks from spending her dirty drug money on clothes and curtains. has experienced poverty and would probably kill before going back there.

AJAY JOHAL (rahul kohli, 30) everything he does is literally just in an effort to support his parents. super flighty. could not make a decision to save his life. super respectful. quality lad. maybe a lil immature but he’s working on it. sike ! he’s not.

PERCY NICHOLS (finn cole, 20) an actual stain. just a horrible lil shunt. screwed over his friends and got rich. would absolutely do it again. cheeky nandos. very smart but you wouldn’t know it. coked out. absolutely has to live a certain life. will never be satisfied anyway.

BOBBIE SANTOS (blanca padilla, 22) ruins lives w how angelic she is. ur annoying yoga friend who instagrams her food before eating it. doesn’t know how to mind her own business but thankfully isn’t very perceptive. glass half full. under educated. independent.

[skeletorific]

Heyo! Good luck on yer midterms and other papers! I remember there being a mini writeup you did of the skelebros' dynamics... all I remember are US and SF though, being Finn/Jake and Calvin/Hobbes respectively. Do you remember the other two, and is the post in the lineup? And as a side note, whose dynamic is closest to the Mafiatale bros? :3

Warning, Gravity Falls spoilers below

The Undertale Bros are Bugs Bunny (Sans) and Daffy Duck (Papyrus). Daffy’s a little bit more of an asshole but the relationship is very similar.

The Fell bros are Stan and Ford Pines

As for the Mafia bros…..honestly I’m drawing a blank on this one. Somebody give me a hand?

Within my version Sans is still a lazy slob, but he’s also over-worked as hell as a negotiator and generally pretty stressed under his facade. He knows at any minute it could all go to shit and he’ll have to be the one to put it back together, unless he wants to watch his friends die in gang warfare. That said, he’s fairly charming and has the same fake smile as his Tale counterpart. Is okay with doing less than good things as a mafioso but tries to be a semi-decent person, at least.

Papyrus is a little more tied down than his Tale counterpart and has killed before (though he will avoid it whenever possible). But he’s still extremely optimistic and a touch on the romantic side. He’s a low level but with his close ties to Undyne its possible he’s due for promotion. A ray of sunshine, almost half his cut on a given job will go to street urchins. 

The two have a good relationship, although Sans still drives Papyrus crazy with his bad jokes and rumpled clothes. They work as partners, more often than not, and Papyrus has often pulled Sans back from taking the easier, more violent route. Sans is continually thrown by his brother’s faith in people, even members of rival gangs, and while it has gotten them into trouble before, he wouldn’t have his bro any other way. 

[bewareofchris]

Triath-anon: exactly, the female characters in sass are just so amazing. I have so many questions about Phyllis? Like, where do I even start? I get that she had a really bad life and that (miscarriages and cheating husband), but why is she so evil to everyone except Altair? Why was she so mean to Federico? What would Lucy have thought of her if they had met? Why did she dominate Altair's life so much that he did not consider his father as a real parent? I could probably go on. (1)

+ If Lucy had met Phyllis, she would have thought the same thing she thought when she hadn’t met her.  Phyllis was basically the devil.  The reverse is not true though, I think Phyllis would have really appreciated Lucy on a few different, important levels: 1. Lucy did not let her parents/her gender determine her position and path in life.  2.  Lucy takes care of Desmond but she’s still the clear dominant half of the relationship, and if either of them needed to have bread-winning jobs, it would be Lucy, not Desmond.  3. Lucy would be/is a good Mother to her child.  (And that is very important to Phyllis.)

there’s more:

+ It is important to remember that all Phyllis wanted was a child.  In regards to why she’s evil to everyone except Altair (and if you consider she purposefully let his Father die after she had already stolen his child from him, you could make the case she was evil to him as well) that’s a bit complicated. 

+  See, Phyllis had older, almost fully grown brothers that died during the flu epidemic.  Those older sons were her Father’s beloved heirs, the ones that were set to inherit the name/family/everything.  When they died, her Father kind of flipped his shit but also was a miserable, old fat man.  He remarried a very young, pretty girl and impregnated her (and she probably enjoyed 0 things about being married to him, except maybe the money) and as he was an old, fat man, he either didn’t or could not try twice.  So he ended up with Phyllis.  Now he didn’t want a female because he needed an heir and he wanted his sons back.

+ I’m not saying Phyllis was hated by her father but he simultaneously prepared her for a life she couldn’t inherit and kept her from learning what she needed to know to inherit said life.  He didn’t educate her about anything important but he kept her with him so she always saw how he handled business.  Being an old, miserable, fat guy he was basically hateful to everyone.  

+ Phyllis was the sole heir to an enormous fortune, she always got everything she wanted.  She even got Calvin, which she shouldn’t have.

+  so lets talk about what kind of pervert Calvin is.  Phyllis fell in love with Calvin on the spot because he was a handsome guy and she was a stupid kid.  And she decided that since she wanted him, she was going to get him.  Now she was an easy target because she was LITERALLY A CHILD and Calvin wanted her Daddy’s money.  (He even went to war to get it.)  But Calvin is like one step removed from being an actual god-damn pedophile.  

+ It’s not shown in Peach because Mrs. Finch wouldn’t have been there to see it, but Calvin definitely took his time about grooming/reinforcing Phyllis’ childish infatuation with him so he could marry her.  He led her right along to the idea that they would be so happy together, he promised he loved her and since he started doing this WHILE SHE WAS A CHILD, and since he went off to war and almost died and came home a war hero (to pick up grooming her where he left off), Phyllis was entirely 100% stupidly devoted to him.  She had to have him.

+  Calvin, however, was down to fuck whatever teenage lady he could get his hands on.  He was fucking around on Phyllis long before he started knocking women up.  In fact, he probably has a lot of children scattered across the globe, just check the cities he was in for traumatized/conned teenager ladies and you’ll find his children. 

+ Fuck Calvin

+ Back to Phyllis, remembering that all she wanted was a child, and remembering she’d just survived a childhood of being raised as an heir apparent with no actual throne to inherit (and no actual education either), and survived motherfucking Calvin, the fact that she keeps having miscarriages and is constantly belittled by having grief over the lost babies by her husband (who she thought loved her) is EXTREMELY DAMAGING.

+ In fact, Phyllis figured out what kind of thing Calvin was but she protected him because she’d been raised around the idea that he was hers and she was his.  This could have carried on indefinitely if his love children hadn’t shown up.

+ because our pal, Phyllis is entirely made up of sheer power of will.  Phyllis had never been told she couldn’t have something she wanted and she had never wanted something she didn’t get (except a child).  Unlike Altair who ended up being a rather fragile ego sort of man, Phyllis really was that kind of person that is 100% capable and 100% determined and nobody saw that about her except Mrs. Finch and those two rabid lawyers, Walters and Ferdinand.

+  So, Phyllis figures out she’d been had, (in a lot of ways) and cannot rationalize the things that Calvin had done/continued to do any longer.  She had to deal with the idea that she’d been conned, used and allowed it to happen to others.  This was a pivotal moment in Phyllis life because she could have either become a great force of good in the world: full of kindness and giving, taking the shit lot she drew but overcoming it and making sure it didn’t happen to others.

+  ok, yes but Phyllis was furious and she was powerless.  From the very first moment she finally decided she couldn’t sit quietly and watch these things happen until the day she died, Phyllis could not tolerate any form of weakness in anyone for any reason.  Not herself, not the children, not anyone.  For an itemized list of why she hates everyone:

1. William Miles: he was a whiny, troublesome child that looked like his father.  He had a child just because he heard he’d get money out of it.  (AND THAT USELESS MOTHERFUCKER THEN HURT HIS SON)1a. anyone who supported/sided with William over Desmond.  This one is obvious.  Anyone who sides against the welfare of a child basically deserves to die (in Phyllis’ very skewed, biased opinion).2. Mama Maria: she was a leech, and she was a (obnoxiously) strict Mother.3. Edward’s Mother (who has a name now): impulse control issues/no self-esteem.4. Edward: he loved his mother, and I know that seems like a stupid reason but Edward is the only child besides ALtair that would have given Phyllis what she wanted.  Except Edward loved his Mother despite the fact that she abused/neglected him and Phyllis couldn’t have ever truly had him as her child.  He already had a Mother.5.  Federico: well, he’s a shit.  He was an insolent child that was raised to put a smile on his face but he bullied his brother, he tattled on people and he thought he was better than everyone around him.  Federico took a beating when he was owed one though, and Phyllis did admire that about him.  

+  (I mean, Phyllis didn’t like anyone, but the time she got Altair I don’t think she was capable of empathy or attachment.  I think she loved Altair as best she could but that doesn’t mean it would have counted as love by any other person’s definition.)

+  Now, Altair’s unique position made him perfect for Phyllis.  He had no Mother.  This was vastly more important than any other factor in how he ended up being Phyllis’ child.  She also did like Maud; (she genuinely did like Maud, enough to try to send her away to protect her.)  He did have a biological father standing around looking all shell-shocked and ill-prepared.  Since Phyllis had, at that time, faced off against all kinds of megalomaniacs and slapped dictators in the face and taken over her own company, and developed a habit of regularly belittling and psychologically torturing her husband (who she arguably kept as a prisoner for the last, long years of his life) taking care of one man caught in the throes of very sudden grief was no big.  

+  I mean, Phyllis probably should have just hired a dude to shank Omar but then the adoption process might have been a little bit muddied.

+  The main point here is, Phyllis spent her entire life wanting a child.  She had a lot of them and none of the worked for her because every single child that she took in/tried to care for ALREADY HAD A MOTHER.  Enter Altair, a perfect infant, with absolutely no mother to speak of.

+ Omar never stood a chance.  If he hadn’t died of natural causes, Phyllis probably would have actively killed or deported him.  He was never even a slight thought.  As to why he allowed it, he probably wasn’t given a choice.  Or his choice was, at best, to go along or lose all connection with his child.  For that matter, since Phyllis was always nice to and nice around Maud, Altair’s own mother probably asked Omar to trust Phyllis.

+ THINK ABOUT THAT ONE A MINUTE.

+ But Altair genuinely loved his Grandmother.  And she tried to be fair, as far as she was capable of being at that point in her life, and the only way she could do that was to make sure he didn’t call her Mother.  I mean she let his Dad die, but she preserved the idea that his (deceased) Mother deserved his love and respect.

+  seriously, fuck Calvin.