#havent watched it bc i think if i did i WOULD have actually thrown up out of excitement and also knew i needed to write

[southern--downpour]

sorry prof. couldnt do my essay. brain too full of slenderman. yeah wont happen again i swear (it will)

[hollowhearts-and-espresso]

just little solangelo thoughts

im just chilling going through the solangelo tag so heres some lil thoughts that have been provoked from such activities

-parallel between percy and annabeth standing/sitting back to back in tartarus when they finally can rest bc they have each others backs to nico and will in tsats fighting back to back bc they've both been stabbed in the back enough already

-nico is a literal fucking sewer rat kind of (in the most loving way ofc) but also hes not he literally glows with alt and gothic beauty and has a beautiful accent and an amazing smile and smooth, milky skin and will (who is kind of a beautifully groomed golden retriever) is actually a fucking dumpster dog who jumped out at him when nico was hiding in the alley and hasnt left his side since

-will watched nico let an anemic fucking loser launch himself into the atmosphere and immediately and immensely fell in love and nico took one look at the hand that still has amniotic sac fluid on it holding his and thought 'holy shit i wanna kiss him'

-apollo literally saying 'i dont care if my son has a boyfriend. i've had a lot. and compared to some of mine, holy SHIT could will be doing worse' and i think thats great

-nico and will are not achilles and patroclus they are apollo and hycanth and apollo literally mentioned the similarities he saw in the relationships and im POSITIVE hades sees it too and is so so scared for his son because he saw what losing someone he loved that much did to apollo

-even tho they're not quite achilles and patroclus their love and wrath for the otehrs death would still be enough to shake the gods and im fully convinced zues sat hades down one day and was like 'listen dude you gotta protect the little blonde kid. i dont wanna go through that again' and hades was like 'lol pussy. gotchu tho'

-william andrew solace who is the LITERAL son of sunshine and has magic glow powers and is the best medic the camp has had in years would and probably has poke an infected creature of unidentified species and decide that it’s probably maybe not poisonous and bring it to his bf because why not

-also he definitely has/will have full sleeves of tattoos on both arms and a bunch on his legs and back and they will have absolutely no specific meaning or reason or order (other than the star on his shoulderblade for his first and only love and the sun on his chest for himself)

-nico would get a lot of tattoos but they’d all mean something to him (things bianca used to like, the groups initials, etc)

-william andrew solace was born and raised in fuckin texas with his single rocker mama (who was ALSO born and raised in texas) and is an overworked med student and has gone through all that shit he’s been through by 15. that bitch is a fucking DICK. he will cut you for touching his stuff and if you’re a dick he will absolutely NOT treat you (‘i havent sworn under oath yet as a doctor, chiron’) and he has absolutely pulled a gun on someone back home for the dumbest shit

-nico is a fucking softie don’t lie. he spends one third of his time crying, the other third waxing poetic about his boyfriend will doing normal day shit, and the last third convincing his dickhead sunshine boyfriend to treat the guy with poison ivy because ‘he called me weird, will, that’s not even that insulting’

-kayla and austin have definitely thrown them in the lake. multiple times. it’s a past time at this point. leo has helped on a few occasions and lester did once only to be fucking decked by his son in law for messing up the snack he made for will while will lost his shit laughing in the back

[actualbird]

I got distracted reading 4-04 and 4-05 i totally forgot the actual thing i was supposed to ask you today, what are your thoughts on the kinds of shows the nxx team wouldve watched as kids growing up. MC and Luke have apparently watched animes and even dressed up as characters but i have this need to know the finer details. LIKE. WHAT DID YOU WATCH SPECIFICALLY?? And i remembered you said luke was the one who probably understood most of the terms zangr was saying so like?? Luke do you like these kinds of things?? -Marsh

MARSH, thank you so much for this ask and for the SPECIFIC WORDING "watched as kids growing up." because that makes me have to go back in time and thusly uncovering by far my favorite yet most under-utilized and never-brought-up detail of tears of themis:

the story of this game takes place in the year 2030

DO U HAVE ANY IDEA HOW FUNNIER THIS MAKES SHIT???? AND ALSO HOW MUCH MORE SENSE STUFF MAKES??? let me explain myself by going thru all the boys one by one

luke pearce

YEAH HE SAID HE AND MC WERE RLLY INTO ANIME AS KIDS. luke pearce who is 24 years old in 2030 means that from the Important Media Ages (12-15) it was 2018-2021. this period of time, anime started getting more and more accessible, most notably getting on netflix and stuff like this. so like all the anime on netflix rn? yeah luke's watched them.

though because i kin luke, imma say that his fave is fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood. ive got no characterization proof for this, i just want to give him this honor

additionally, luke is a HUUUUGE fan of the original Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle novels (ACD Sherlock) and i think this would have pushed him to watch like, just every popular sherlock media adaptation there is. he personally liked Elementary better than BBC Sherlock. he generally just gravitates to the adaptations that dont forget about the heart of all of the characters.

also also also, luke likes action movies ranging from "hey this is "good" to critics" to "this is a shit movie but MY GOD IS IT FUN!!!"

artem wing

artem wing who is 29 years old in 2030 means that from the Important Media Ages (12-15) it was 2013-2016. but also artem is a MOVIE SNOB LMAOOO, hes That Guy with the Opinions On Film and you bet that his analytical ass was into just the most extra shit to watch those days because no teenager is chill, every teenager has some kind of ego, i dont know what movies he would have watched at that point to be the Smartest Teenager About Movies, but he sure did watch them

though artem also is very into sci-fi literature and 2013-2016 had a BUUUNCH of huge sci-fi movies. Pacific Rim, Gravity, Interstellar, Arrival. Arrival is deffo artem's fave, dont fight me on this, i can explain further but not in this answer bc it will get LOOONG LOL

artem also is into "classics" which uh. wait artem what do you Mean by that, what is a "classic" for somebody born in 2001??? i dont really know exactly what he means by "classics" so i just take it to mean he's a slut for period dramas which leads me to my closing point

"Once upon a time, when [Artem] was younger, around 17 years old, he pondered identifying as asexual or as one of the subsets under that term, but he put that aside after he first watched Pride and Prejudice (2005). He had then acquired a recurring fantasy in which he would be sensually accosted by Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy in a secluded study after months of furtive, charged glances, lingering, split second touches, double entendres classily and subtly masked but still implying a repressed yet voracious—Moving on." -an excerpt from my comedy smut fic where artem goes thru a crisis. yeah. yeah. Pride and Prejudice dir. Joe Wright was his bisexual awakening.

MOVING ON!!

vyn richter

vyn richter who is 27 years old in 2030 means that from the Important Media Ages (12-15) it was 2015-2018 but honestly that doesnt help me AT ALL LOL BECAUSE VYN IS A TOUGH NUT TO CRACK.....

like honest to god i cant even imagine vyn as anything other than an adult KJBSJKFS (which is depressing, if i think about it more... but also what vyn would want, i assume he would hate for people to have known him as a child, imperfect and shunned.....which is ALSO DEPRESSING. VYN, U GOOD???)

okay yknow what im not studied enough in Vyn Richter Studies so i will come back to this once ive gotten more of his story and know more of his (what im theorizing to be a SHITASS TERRIBLE) childhood history. so vyn, i guess ur safe from me....ur safe FOR NOW, THAT IS....

marius von hagen

marius von hagen who is 21 years old in 2030 means that from the Important Media Ages (12-15) it was 2021-2024. good fucking lord, marius was born in 2009 and that makes him so young that his Important Media Ages arent even DONE HAPPENING IN OUR CURRENT TIMELINE, JESUS....

2021 is an interesting era of entertainment because it is getting steadily more and more apparent that corporate greed is trying to swallow up good storytelling; movies and shows are made as fast food products to be consumed immediately and thrown away just as fast. there are smarter posts and articles talking about this, but my point here is that marius "believes SO MUCH in art and art's capability to make a difference" von hagen would HATE THIS SO MUCH and, through spite, get into a lot of indie medias that dont necessarily sell. smaller movies, tv shows that got cancelled way before they should have.

oh, hey, MARIUS WAS 12 YEARS OLD IN 2021, yeah he could have watched The Owl House and threw a fucking FIT when disne/y nerfed the show's third season. he has not forgiven and he has not forgotten.

regardless of his age, marius, at some point in his teens watches Vincent and the Doctor (s5 e10 from Doctor Who). for those who dont know this episode, it involves Vincent Van Gogh and a bunch of sci-fi stuff but, at the end, a scene where Van Gogh is taken to the future and shown the impact his art has made on people. please watch it, if you havent it, it's very good and no words can do the experience justice.

anyway yeah marius watches it and it makes him FUCKING SOB

yeah so these are my takes kdjbfdsjfs

[help-i-need-a-cool-username]

I started rewatching Soul Eater and you want to know what its done to me?!?!!

4 episodes in and im like i really wanna read fanfic for this show. I read the entirety of Ao3 and FF.net IN TWO DAYS

I went digging through tumblr tags and blogs FOR ANOTHER TWO DAYS

I finally find time to go back to watching it. I watch eps 5-24 IN ONE DAY. I am once again dying to read fanfic. You know when u read fanfic and then go back through it all with low standards? Ya i did that day 2 of #1 so i cant even do that. I resorted to reading wiki pages just for glimpses of new content

My brain did not shut up about this show for ANOTHER TWO DAYS. I regressed back into my pacing-for-HOURS-while-thinking-about-a-specific-show/book days

I would like to mention i saw this show for the first time 2 years ago and it did not do this to me. Just watching the prologues did this to me and gave me a fascination for the partnerships

I start thinking about canon!Soul and all this fanfic!Soul and reach the conclusion that Soul can achive the slightly better personality of fanfic!Soul by getting older and maturing some. I somehow start thinking of a AU(?) where Soul gets thrown back in time to the start of the anime. And its just other characters thoughts on 17 year old Soul/Death Scythe Soul. BUT WAIT THERES MORE

I start thinking how i dont want to send him back in time by himself and my brain picks Tsubaki to go back with him for no other reason than shes my fav. And then i was like should i send all the weapons? And i decide no bc thats a lot of characters and i still havent decided wether or not future!characters are swapping places with past!characters and i dont want miesters bc at some point i want a past!Maka and future!Soul team up. Then my brain back tracks to why would/what would happen that would allow just Soul and Tsubaki to be sent back. This STARTS the headcanon landslide i create of the main 7's futures

So first i decide to disregard what little i know of Manga canon and make Tsubaki a Death Scythe too (bc i literally cannot conceive the idea that a pairing as genius as Black Star and Tsubaki dont achieve that) so that Soul and Tsubaki have special Death Scythe training they undergo together and therefore thats why they were hanging out just the two of them. Then i start trying to figure out how they would interact and again idk how for some reason my brain goes "oh Soul would be really sweet but really awkward if she was pregnant" and then my mind took that thought and ran with it

So anyways now Tsubaki is married to Black Star but they dont tell past!characters that and they have 5-6 kids. I have planned out the disaster of their engagement-bachelor party-wedding festivities as well as their kids' early lives but to explain all that i might as well actually attempt to write a fic (spoiler alert: BS's bachelor party was the most stressful day of Soul's life to date and even tho BS is actually a young dad hes surprisingly really good at it and wants even more kids than Tsubaki does which no one expected INCLUDING ME). Past!characters find out when she runs and throws up in a park/hallway trashcan and when asked if shes okay Soul goes "its just morning sickness" and leads half the characters to (stupidly) believe he's the dad solely because hes not freaking out like the rest of them. Later on they see Soul's contact photo in Tsubaki's phone and its a pic that Maka sent her of Soul with his niece sitting on his shoulders at a amusement park and they're both wearing sunglasses. Do i actually know the real relationship between Soul and Wes? No! I just found the idea of Soul having a niece who adores him and thinks hes the coolest uncle ever which totally chokes him up when he thinks about it too long to be too cute to disregard on the fact i dont know canon.

So anyways Soul Eater IS RUINING ME and if anyone wants more details on the events ive mentioned i will gladly not shut up about it

[patchdotexe]

Explorers of Arvus: uhhhh / 3.23.21

today's notes are different from usual bc. well. you'll see

LAST TIME ON EXPLORERS OF ARVUS i broke my sleep schedule and am barely existing so this is fine. we went back to camp vengeance an uhhhhhhhhhhhh we are now going to fuck off into the forest to die or prove a very important point

oh god we forgot to level up

[mgd voice] BOOSTING NYX TO MAXIMUM LEVEL

im so fuckin tired. what on earth am i doing. how do i level again

k is not here this time but instead we've got mae+nii bonking their heads together to simulate 2 braincells and so far it is not working. i might just have to like fuckin, drop out n zzz partway thru or somethin. would be fun to see how chaotic michael makes charlie in my absensce

oh wait i can do d&dbeyond i think. how do i work this again. will i ever remember i have shield

what level am i. level 6? pog. oh shit i think i have a new thing

. new spell

. 3 total 3rd level spell slots

. bend luck! i can now screw people over on purpose (and will probably use my sorcery points FINALLY)

michael is leveling charlie up bc my brain is apple sos

ASDXFKLJFH I FEEL CALLED OUT zec rb'd my most recent art of MaX with "all i know about xem is that leo likes xem a lot that's the extent of my knowledge" THANK U FOR SUPPORTIN ME ANYWAY

there will be less blaseball distractions than last time bc blaseball is now on siesta. however i will still have MaX brainrot in the background bc i was drawing xem

wyatt mason my beloved

OKAY I GOTTA MUTE THE TACO STAND FOR THE ENTIRETY OF D&D i cannot and will not get distracted. we can do this. we

nintendo wii

we havent even started yet and im already incoherent

ok i have made a decision and that decision is that i do not have the brainpower to play. however i do have the brianpower to take notes hopefully! so ill just like. vibe. this will be a first

oh man im gonan pick up Blink. charlie is gonna be a fucking menace to herself and others

oh my god its not concentration so charlie may continue teleporting while unconscious. thorne is going to hate this

[charlie gets her soul eaten by a ring] [charlie singing dragonston din tei at halvkWAIT JORB HAS A PRIZE

jorb got a thing! an evil genius thing! figure man. fugrine. figuring. help

GREEN HAS DIAGNOSED ME AS TIGREX MONSTERHUNTER i love this

my notes are a disaster. this is so sucks

serotonin is stored in the wiggly zoomy jorb camera

jorb: his pinky is the size of the rest of his fingers

leo: he has a disease

jorb: he has a disease.

jorb: that disease is male pattern baldness

leo: [reduced to tearful giggling for mysterious reasons]

LAST TIME, ON EXPLORERS OF ARVUS: we've returned to camp vengeance! taure is still unconscious, which is not very great. camp vengeance is doin better tho!

michael, as part of the recap: ingrid is getting railed by her new girlfriend,

first dice roll of the day is michael rolled a 1. good start

OH THORNE IS AN ARTIFICER NOW thorne took a level in artificer!

"...it's like figuring out the right mathematical equation to summon a gun."

group is gonna go check out the statue that we passed by now that we're not WHAT DO YOU MEAN PONK AND GEORGE CANONICALLY HAVE IBS thats it im not looking at 772 anymore

im doing a bad job of paying attention but at least im Present

SIERON LEARNED FLY AND USED IT ON CHARLIE

michael: what do you want to do with your new flying powers?

leo: how many problems can i cause in 10 minutes

guard 1: ...why is the halfling flying?

guard 2: [rolls a 3 on intelligence] i think they can just do that

groundhogs, the real scourge of the campaign

silje and sieron are gonna hunt a big elk. they got distracted and sieron is putting grass on silje's head. i think

WAIT WE'RE ON WATCH NOW FUCK

we have discovered kali's tragic backstory whoops

update i am. too sleepy for this. good nigh everyone

[ and then leo went and somewhat took a nap! solar, normally playing thorne, started playing charlie in my stead. @jorbs-palace, local hero, started taking shitpost notes in my stead. ]

jorb's ghostwritten notes for leo:

help solar is immediately doing a cursed voice for charlie. charlie can do so many crimes

congratulations, charlie is now temporarily immortal!

dwarves can hit things with their beard

kali wants to know if she's legally allowed to bail

she'd feel really bad if she had to loot our corpses for payment if we died.

we have entered the Tree Zone

one of the corpses is now a flamingo (has one leg)

silje has decided to stab the ground. take that, dirt

kali was large size for a second there but then she remembered to not be a giant

"you accidentally deleted my cat?!"

silje has learned naruto cloning jutsu

be gone, thot

oh boy, making an int check to look at a statue! 11! silje is dumb apparently.

hmm. the statue has divination magic. it's also affecting silje.

SILJE LEARNED A 6TH LEVEL SPELL? its only single use but still

you solved my statue riddllllleeeee

thorne forgot to have eyes

its a shame mac and cheese doesnt exist in the d&d universe

wizards are just math criminals (the criminal part is setting people on fire)

sieron crit fails a check but it was still a 9 because of having +8

thorne is looking for what's weird!

uh oh music got scary, never a good sign

hmm. those leaves over there weren't dead a moment ago.

UNDEAD TROLL TIME! rolling initiative

"it's ok, im a wizard, it's my duty to be correct." "wow! waow!"

woooah here he comes

IT JUST DID HALF SIERON'S HEALTH AS A PASSIVE END OF TURN EFFECT?

thorne backed up and cast eldri- oh, ray of enfeeblement. character development continues

charlie is going to just blink out of existence for a minute.

big chungus has grabbed silje and sieron. BIG CHUNGUS HAS THROWN SILJE AND SIERON.

sieron is using hit and run tactics! isn't good at his extra attack yet though

silje is activating bid bid blood blood blood

thorne uses beam of skipping your leg day. troll's legs are now skipped.

michael is trying to determine what a 'clavicle' is

"does that mean the star trek kind, or the bdsm kind?"

charlie wants to cast magic missile.

charlie has vanished back into the ethereal plane mid-taunt

silje has decided to not get bitten today

silje may or may not have stats.

oh, right, trolls are weak to fire! and also we forgot to upgrade sieron's firebolt. so it actually hurts now!

silje is full of knives and blades and does 31 damage in one turn!

charlie shouts words of encouragement from the ethereal plane. a nearby ghost vibes with this.

🎉 eldritch blast 🎉

kali remembered she hates the sun

silje is enthuasiatic about charlie saying "get him cat boy!"

charlie contemplating using fireball to nuke the troll and also the entire stonehenge

charlie has decided to use magic missile instead, probably for the best

the troll bit at charlie SO POORLY it broke some of its teeth on the ground

charlie is too small to hit

accidentally rolled advantage on a firebolt, so got to learn it WOULD have done 29 damage with a crit but instead it missed because it was not actually with advantage

silje has just sliced open its entire back and made a spray of frozen blood! radical. big boy is down!

we have burned the body because we are not stupid. well, we ARE stupid, but not stupid in the way of leaving a body full of necrotic magic around

[dr coomer voice] i think it's good that he died!

we're also doing a funeral pyre for the other corpses that were around. just to be sure.

our loot is: the satisfaction of a job well done

thorne is cosplaying as charlie

charlie has located the direction troll came from! she found the 'the way to sweet loot' sign

thorne is apparently better at survival checks than our hired guide? wack

we found a viking house! it has: mead, a shield, gravestones,

found a gold coin in the mead! maybe it was thirsty

oh theres a LOT Of coins in there actually. 60 gold and 120 silver!

have successfully pointed out a hole in the DM's logic :)

there was a raven! it cawed and left. ok bye buddy

and that's where we leave it! heading back to camp vengeance next time.

someone rated this session a 7.2 out of 10, which is very specific

good night mr coconut

[gyuprint]

not to sound dumb but like i’ve truly never understood why people are so adamant abt wayv not being nct?? Like why is it such a bad thing if they are? Im just genuinely curious bc i havent seen anyone explain why

sm is notorious for the mistreatment of their chinese idols, and this is no different in wayv’s mistreatment. if sm cared about wayv they would not lack promotions past the few magazines they have been featured in. yes it is content, but they did not sign up to be magazine models, they signed up to be idols. if sm truly wants them to be nct they can start by proper recognition of wayv and wayv members as a whole. people do not want to stream on qqmusic because it is confusing and people have said ‘chinese is scary’ but actively navigate through korean websites. point blank, that is sinophobia. when people only choose to support wayv if they are considered nct, it is very evident that they do not stan wayv nor do they pay attention to their talent. if wayv was added to nct we would once again have to watch as members get pushed to the side and made as back up dancer, and people would not care for them past the interactions they had with their fav.

i would also like to say that i have no doubt that wayv was initially supposed to be nct china, they were marketed as such, but it did not turn out that way, and no amount of arguing is going to change wayv’s mistreatment and the way a majority of fans who want ot21 fail to ignore this.

i think i should break this down into sections for individual members mistreatment because that is the easiest way. (obviously some members are going to have longer sections) it also should be noted that there are a lot of people more vocal about this on twitter and a lot of the people who want ot21 simply do not support wayv on the platforms that matter to them. there is a lot of blatant sinophobia laced within how they try to defend themselves, and i do not see why it makes them so angry for wayv to not be considered nct. honestly, i do not have a probably with ot21zens as long as they do support wayv the way they claim they do, i am not asking them to love wayv as much as they love one of the other units, because i think it is normal for people to have favorites and this is seen with the distinction between 127 and dream, but to support them on the chinese platforms that matter to wayv’s success. that being said, i can break down the ways that wayv members would not and did not benefit from being classified as nct, as well as their erasure from the brand entirely and the way fans view the members. (mostly seen with winwin) i am sure i missed things, but these are all the things that really stick out to me.

kun: i think his is a case that is more clear because he has been a member of nct since 2016 with the debut of without u chinese version and his appearance on nct life solidifies his involvement with it. however, this is not something that has lasted. after that debut he was thrown back into the basement and quite honeslty viewed as a babysitter for the rookies at the time (jungwoo and lucas). when nct 2018 happened and he finally got to ‘debut’ he was featured in one song on a full album, and literally got no lines and very little center time. he was treated so bad that people who didnt stan nct thought that he was a backup dancer. he went to smtown but sat backstage for a majoirty of the concert. if we fast forward to his proper debut with wayv and the title of leader, we see that there comes a problem with the way people viewed him. i have seen countless people say that he is not wayv’s leader because taeyong is, as if we have seen taeyong properly and thoroughly interact with the other wayv member. kun has been there to support wayv members as nothing less than a leader, seen through him comforting them, but also accepting awards. yangyang has expressed that kun is someone who sacrifices a lot to keep him - and the other members - safe and happy. there are people that continue with kun mom jokes even though he has expressed his discomfort with it, and since the debut of wayv, he has not been mentioned by sm. he very clearly gained nothing from being in nct, and continues to have ‘fans’ who undermine his talent. wayv’s inclusion into nct would only result in him functioning as a background member as kun stans / weishennies are the only ones who remain really angry about the matter.

winwin: this case is honestly the one i have the biggest problem with because he was quite honestly a founder of the nct brand. he was there for nct 127′s debut, but was erased from the group by the time they were given proper - well deserved - time to shine. if you have read reports you will know that winwin was stripped of his teenagedom, and his education was hindered in a way he openly did not want. he got little to no lines in absolutely every nct 127 song, and that still is a problem within wayv. sm ent turned down numerous acting opportunities for him. there are so many people who claim it is okay because he is ‘happier in wayv’ but that is so insulting. of course he has a bond with wayv, but to make assumptions about his friendships and speak for him on a matter that is very clearly deeper than what fans see is so insensitive. there was a video of him that shows how he was so upset about not promoting with 127, people need to stop assuming the friendships of people they stan. you do not know them and you do not know what they are thinking and you do not see every interaction they have. not to mention, he was not allowed on 127′s world tour when he was doing nothing, there is no reason he should have gotten the treatment he did by sm ent. people who want him back in 127 want him there not because of how it is a place he belongs, but because they want interactions. i guess this speaks more on his mistreatment, but also how overall, if wayv really was nct 127, why did they erase winwin from the history of it. not to mention with kick it, they kicked out the only chinese member before doing a concept based around chinese culture.

ten: his case gets different because while he did have to take leave, there was a knee injury involved with it. i think a lot of fans have issue with the way he is treated by sm, not only as an nct member, but also as a member of superm. while he did get more opportunities with nct 2018 then kun did, he has still been mistreated in ways. his name has been mispelled on official logo even though it is literally three letters long, his face has been cropped off of official websites and only when fans get mad does sm fix it. all in all, his connection to the nct brand has given him nothing. people who claim to be ot21 and decide to ‘actively support him’ do nothing but perpetuate jokes that are very outdated and over obsess on ships. there are so many shippers that fail to see ten as his own person. 

lucas: he is a member that i think also does not gain anything more so from superm than nct as seen with how he lacks lines, but the way nctzens treat him is a main reason him viewed as nct angers me. throughout 2018 and even since his inclusion in wayv and superm, people view him as stupid. they make fun of him for the amount that he switches between languages, and many only pay attention to them when it comes to his looks. there are a lot of people who claim he lacks talent. his inclusion back into nct would result more in peoples wish for interaction and less in actual support for him. 

xiaohenyang are going to be lumped together because the simple matter of the fact for them is that they did not ever get introduced as nct member. unlike the previously mentioned there has been no recognition of them as nct members from sm ent and sm ent classifies them entirely as wayv. a lot of people near debut for wayv - and their introduction as rookies - only stanned them because they looked like nct members. i had to sit through people claiming that yangyang was a ‘bargain/walmart version of mark’ and making claims of a nationality that he doesnt have. (yangyang is . not . german . he only lived there for a portion of his life, and saying he is german would be like saying jaehyun is american). yangyang’s solo asteroid as well as his recent release (dance cover and mixtape with kun) have been neglected as people fail to realize he is easily sm’s next ace. asteroid hasnt even reached 1M views yet, and i have talked to people who want wayv to be nct that did not even know he had a solo song. hendery is another member viewed as ‘stupid’ and used as meme by people who can not tell him apart from ten while also claiming to stan wayv. and the same thing is seen by people who make passive comments about xiaojun, spelling his name wrong and pointing him out through the few times they have asked him about nct 127 and he has responded. no support is shown to him about his vocals or his predebut work, and there is mistreatment in the way all of these rookies debuted in a group that was later left sitting doing nothing.

[lesbianmarth]

it’s been a while since i posted about aa but i just finished soj in its entirety tonight. here’s my new list so far

i still have to give thoughts on cases 4 5 and dlc so that’ll be under a cut. spoilers!

6-4: this was such a filler case, almost shamefully so. i don’t know why they thought they could manage to do this in the 4th case when every game with 5 cases has been pretty consistent about making the 4th case plot relevant, sometimes literally just a preamble to case 5. so yeah i think this one was kinda ass

the two things it had going for it: one, athena. in 6-2 i actually got confused about why i ever liked her, because in that case she felt like she was just acting the part of the Peppy Teen Girl With a Rowdy Streak that makes up almost every assistant character. But then as SOON as she started bantering with Simon in 6-4 i was like “oh, THAT’S why i liked her!” was nice to take control of her again.

two, uendo toneido. while i don’t think you can say the DID was portrayed with quite the necessary respect or kindness, it was handled better than i’ve seen other media handle it-- at least it’s not completely demonized. other people have written more on that in better detail so i’m not really the judge, but the basic point is that this witness was mad fun to read, and even the dumb jokes like the changing number of floor cushions were entertaining. thus why this case is in the “hard carried by one side character” tier.

especially since there was like nothing else going on. no connection to the main plot, only two other characters besides uendo, and for some reason the clown tits girl was here instead of the magic show case (and to be honest, she wasn’t enjoyable for me even BEFORE she did the standard aa female villain thing and changed her speech pattern as soon as she fell under suspicion). just a weird, nothing case stuck right around the point aa games usually enter endgame. And especially weird because...

6-5 part 1: inexplicably there are two separate cases in the final chapter and each gets one day of investigation and trial. such a weird setup, and it really shouldn’t work... but i think it kinda barely does. barely. it would still have been better to split it into case 4 and case 5 though.

i have a hard time articulating much on the first case bc it sort of blends together for me. the main thing is that the concept of it being a civil case where apollo and phoenix face off is really good. it was a good change of pace, even though you knew it was gonna be a murder somehow anyway. sarge was reasonably nice, i guess, paul atishon had some good animations and quirks (my favorite being when he tries to just walk away from the stand to avoid answering a question), and the logic of the actual murder was good enough.

but i especially got those strong “oh this is a FINAL case!” vibes during the segment in the cave, and that added so much to it even if not much of it was relevant in the first half of the case. the adventure feel reminded me of some of the (out of context bc i still havent played it) scenes i know from 3-5, which is a good association to invoke imo. and it did a lot to give apollo and dhurke time to bond.

speaking of which, dhurke, holy shit. what a KING. i don’t think i’ve ever liked a dad character in ace attorney this much. he’s so genuine and like down to earth that it’s impossible not to start liking him and believe how much he cares for his sons. the bit where he rescued apollo from the cave flood... i felt it in my heart

6-5 part 2: let me just get this out of the way: ga’ran sucks. her design after she goes full evil is so bad, she’s so malicious that it’s immediately obvious she’s going to be the culprit, her breakdown is ridiculous and just embarrassing to watch, and inga had already established way more charisma as a villain when he did the “those were orders of execution actually” bit in 6-3. with that said,

i actually liked it for the most part. the spirit channeling stuff was excellent imo-- they probably use it to similar or greater effect in 3-5 but as someone who again has not played that, i was surprised and almost impressed by how well it was applied. maya was relevant for something! it feels like it’s been ages!

rayfa was a little underutilized, i think-- her moment of determination where she stops letting ga’ran have control over her was alright but it fell flat bc it didn’t have any weight during the moment. i kept hoping she would like, wordlessly take of her shawl and do the little verbal preamble to the divination seance while ga’ran kept yelling at her to stop, but no, the script can’t be good like that, i guess. and since she didn’t get to be the investigation assistant for long, none of her charm in that role carried through.

but DHURKE!! oh my god! in a game almost devoid of emotional impact, his involvement in this case really hit. the way they painstakingly animated his death, the scene where he makes a promise with maya, and then the weight of knowing in hindsight that everything he did in the first part of the case was after he’d already died and just wanted to see his son again before passing on for real....... it hurt. i felt something during that section. this case would also be hard carried by him if not for the fact that i really liked the murder bits.

amara was good too--liked how they made her suspiciously serene and accentuated it with the lightning strikes to make her look like a hidden murderer character about to reveal herself, only to walk it back and confirm she was being forced to act that way. i thought it worked. nahyuta was boring though, i’m sorry-- i get the motivation with having to be a bastard bc his sister and mom were basically held hostage, but the only time i found him compelling in that mess was the bit where he removed his one fingerless glove and revealed he still has the dragon tattoo. that was it. athena was also completely unused the whole case (not even a single mood matrix? really?) and trucy one again went without any role of importance.

the ending also... yknow, a friend said they had to end it this way bc they never figured out what they were going to do with apollo (since following up on what they started in aa4 clearly wasn’t an option???) and just threw him on a bus to get rid of him. i agree with that-- he really feels thrown to the side, and with that i think trucy’s officially stranded with no hope of any character advancement. and the way they ended the game with phoenix and lamiroir deciding “yeah, maybe NOW we should finally tell those two they’re related” honestly felt insulting lol

but maybe the dlc case will let things go out on a high note...?!

6-6: it was okay.

it would’ve worked pretty well as a filler case in an older aa-- honestly i think it’d be one of the better filler cases, certainly worth replacing the shitty ones like 2-3 or 3-3 or, hey, 6-4. but whether i’d say it was worth paying for... eh.

the time travel conceit was done well enough, i think. the way they tied it back to sorin and pierce’s backstories was nice, and the twist about having two receptions was good, although they needed to treat that as a real twist with much more gravity. when the truth comes out it just feels like “oh of course that’s what happened” rather than a big surprise worthy of the Confessing the Truth theme. it’s sort of important because the case becomes a lot less interesting when you take out the time travel element.

far as characters are concerned, i think they needed more side characters to sell the whole thing-- another sprocket family member or another servant of the household. it felt a little limited-- sorin and pierce are pretty good witnesses and i like their quirks and their secrets, but the only alive woman (ellen) has very few traits and no connection to the deeper story of the case, so she falls really flat. the old aa characters didn’t add much- maya and edgeworth were just there for fanservice, ema didn’t get to do much other than acknowledge for the first time in years that she’s a big edgeworth fan, and larry is annoying as hell like he always is.

and oh my god i actually forgot while i was writing that, how they put in athena and trucy but only used them for brief slapstick where trucy would try to set athena on fire and shit. again-- no mood matrix? couldn’t even try once to fit those two characters into something?

i did like pierce’s transformation into his surgeon form though-- that was really cool. loved him doing surgery on a robot, taking xrays of the lawyers, and his breakdown was fantastic-- he would make a really good culprit if they didn’t whiff the last bit of pathos at the end. i don’t think he should’ve been aiming for revenge on sorin; it would have hurt much more if he was still loyal to the guy and never intended for him to be in danger, but the final “why’d you do it?” talk in the trial just felt flat and one-note, much like the one in 6-4.

... so that’s spirit of justice! not a super positive experience but i’m happy to say it’s done. as much as i want to go and replay dgs, i think when i do go back to ace attorney i’ll be replaying the trilogy for the first time since high school

[ghostbustermelanieking]

funniest things that happened while i binged the magnus archives (in no particular order)

my primary motivation for starting the podcast went like this: a) i am bored, b) my dear friends sarah and novena asked me to listen to this like 3 months ago, c) my dad just got a treadmill and i thought, i should have something to listen to while i do it! motivator! C was the biggest motivation. i listened to the podcast while walking exactly 3 times and had to stop because i couldn't focus on the podcast

approx. 4 episodes in i was trying to consciously listen for plot and important things, so i texted sarah after episode 4 all proud of myself like "i'm guessing this jurgen leitner guy is important" Except i spelled it something like "yorgan lightner"

the worst the podcast ever scared me (like startled me in the moment) was in season 1, i cant remember the episode, but jon starts saying "end recording" and i visibly began to relax (bc i thought it was over!) and then he stops in the middle and bellows "MARTIN" and i jumped like a foot

i listened to the last two episodes of season 1. and i NOTICED when sasha's voice actress changed! but i didnt realize it was a different actress i... actually didnt know what was going on so i texted sarah like "is sasha good she sounds real weird does she have a head cold or something" and then i heard not!sasha in the credits and was like OH

but i didnt realize she was dead! i think i was like "so when are they gonna find sasha?" to sarah a couple days later and she was like "oh she's dead" and i was so fucking dumbfounded it happened so quickly

i listened to the killing floor episode the night before we went to a drive through zoo and i had to look directly into the eyes of many cows

that was also the day i learned what a Scottish cow is. bc they were at the zoo and we thought they were yaks and then my dad figured out they were from Scotland. i did not know they would appear in the season 4 finale

so i started playing games originally to have something to do so i didnt zone out during the podcast and i could keep my hands busy. and it was a really good system at first. now i'm 500 levels into candy crush and i will deadass zone out during statements because i get really fucking frustrated when i cant beat a level

i was like "i'm gonna take this nice and slow, listen to a couple episodes a day and enjoy it" and within a week i was listening to like 5-10 every day and i finished in about half the time i planned on

me at the dinner table the other night: if i listen to like 5 or 7 episodes a day i can finish before the new episode comes out my sister: or u could do it at a pace that's actually enjoyable me: how is that not enjoyable??

you know that post about people misconceiving TMA as a found family dynamic? well that was me until like mid s3 and i was fucking thrown by the realization and have had a lot of trouble reevaluating my view of the dynamics. during Martin's s4 "we're not friends" rant to daisy i was like "wow this feels pointed" very sadly

ok so in the s4 q&a when they say elias's voice is supposed to be a smug version of jon's! i was like "THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE" bc i deadass got elias mixed up w jon sometimes in the first two seasons. like i listened to the s3 trailer and was like "oh thank god they know elias did the brutal pipe murder and not jon" for like half the trailer

i tried to listen to an episode in the car exactly once before being like "no you know what i need to be able to absorb and react to things not on the road"

i thought i'd try and play an episode while i showered one morning, but the audio couldnt be heard under the water and the fan, and i considered showering in the pitch black for like 5 seconds before deciding that was a bad idea

me half asleep one morning: they should make the Admiral a significant plot point, like the cat in captain magnus... i mean captain marvel... he should just fucking kill things

the time when my dad was explaining how hamburgers are ground up while we were cooking, and i'd just listened to the meat grinder episode, and i told him the plot of the episode, and he got the same exact disgusted expression as me

i still cant remember anyone's name last night sarah was like "it's dark watch out for maxwell reynar" and i was like which one is that again

when i described the trip to stop the unknowing as the "clown field trip"

i pictured martin as like this slacker who gives a fuck personality for a WHILE in s1 before i ever actually met him

that one episode where jonny and the voice of georgie do an intro, and they said something that made it sound like what the ghost was a real podcast, and i was like ?? so i googled "what the ghost" and google gave me lots of definitions of what a ghost is

i was talking to my friend rachel and i referred to my cat georgia as "georgie" and she made a georgie denbrough from IT reference like "oh dont let your cat near the sewers" and i was so deep in tma that i was like georgie... barker? oh wait right different interest

i was texting with this friend i dont talk to a lot in person, and i thought that she would like tma, so i asked if she had listened to it. she was like "oh i just started" and then she asked me what was up with brian. i couldnt remember a brian, so i googled "brian the magnus archives" and the only thing that came up was episode 100. i assumed i missed something so i was like "i'm sorry, i cant remember, who's brian again?" and she's like "the intern that gets roasted" and i was like oh oh you mean martin?? but i was too embarrassed to correct her, and we havent discussed it since, but now i feel bad that i DIDNT correct her

[notmyrick]

Okay this is a theory not theory or a "hear me out" type of thing. This actually isnt a theory, just a cool what if. Something to be scrapped.

But if you're with me this far let's begin overanalyzing shit!!!!!!!

Argument: The entire show is evil Morty

*mic drops ready for the tomatoes to be thrown*

But guys let's take a step outside of Rick and morty for a second.

You want to talk about rick and morty without talking about rick and morty?

Yes! Second voice I'm using purely for a narrative aspect!

Remember some time ago that Rick and Morty was suppose to be or at least considered to be a procedural type show?

Procedural shows are shows like the Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad, Tom and Jerry, Futurama, Phineas and Ferb, etc.

Typically a show that has a very obvious formula with characters that typically never change, don't age, and rarely grow. Typically you could tell a show is procedural of you can watch any random episode from any season and understand what's going on (given it is not the final episode of a completed series).

Objectively if you look at Rick and Morty, you can say it it still holds true to its procedural structure. I could start on any episode season 1-4p1 and understand the dynamics of the Smith family.

Okay now just keep in mind that procedural shows last longer than serialized shows.

You can give me shit, but who the fuck is still a fan of Degrassi. And I know that there are some hardcore fans of GoT or Twilight, but I havent seen anymore hype or recent buzz about either of them since it ended (or near ending I dont keep up with stuff). Yet i could go to a person and ask if they watched Friends and some third party will scream to us "PIVOT!" or "They were on a break".

But I'm getting a bit off topic. The thing is Rick and Morty are now going semi serialized, but (hopefully) still keeping it procedural.

The fact is you can start anywhere in the series given the few special episodes. Episodes that are a direct continuation like the ending of season 2 to the premiere of season 3. Those episodes MUST be played together. Ending season 1 to premiere of season 2 is kinda iffy bc they basically summarized/hinted what happened at the end of season 1 with a few sentences.

If you go to most procedural type shows, they tend to have a serialized component which to be honest can be summarized by certain episodes. The serialized component can be either, what I call a "time stamp" or a character change. For time stamp it's mostly used a certain time period the characters response (i.e. the relationship of Rachel and Ross). The other characters tend to reference their relationship in certain episodes.

Or the character change, can be also known as character development, can be the serialized component in which a drastic epiphany happens to the character that changes the relationships with the characters or changes to their environment.

With this as a foundation, let's talk evil morty.

We know that their are infinite versions of Mortys out there. One of them is evil Morty, but it has been shown, by not being shown, how or why this morty became evil. There are many theories out there, most of which I like, but they are just wild speculation. I am going to twist up my own version of it now lol.

What if we've been watching a possibility of a Morty becoming evil. With Rick and Morty being a Procedural type show, the episodes aired does not have to be "in order" with the exceptions of of the special episodes.

Rick, in Rick and Morty, rather not Fuck with time travel, but doesnt mean the audience won't.

Think of it like an archeological excavation. We keep uprooting or discovering more about ancient civilizations or what our past ancestors did, but we don't find them in order. One min. We are discovering something about King Tut, the next we discover something about the the first homosapien.

With this, besides the special episodes, nothing was in order.

This theory is making a huge assumption that we've been watching the same Rick and Morty pair throughout the seasons. Meaning we've been watching Rick C137 and this Morty. This could explain why we dont see alternate versions of our favorite side characters. Why we dont see alternate versions of BirdPerson, Squanchy, Crombobulus Michael, hell another version of Tammy. If we've been watching (at least) the same Rick this entire time, then besides the special episodes, we've been jumping to moments of Rick's life. Like with the recent episode of Never Ricking Morty, Morty was able to buy the toy train because this took place before Rick destroyed the Citadel, but after the introduction of the evil Morty.

With what I've stated previously, hear me out, we've been watching the evolution of evil morty, or at least another version of him. ALTHOUGH only granted that evil Morty is one, if not the biggest climax to Rick and Morty. Remember how procedural shows may have some serialization in their shows. This also means they are not confined to one story arc. Which means evil morty is one of many sotry arcs to be discovered. This "theory" only works if Evil morty is one of the bigger climaxes to the show.

Recall previous procedural shows:

Futurama has 140 episodes

Phineas and Ferb have 189 episodes

I primarily used these tv shows because I am biased and watched them.

I would argue both had procedural and serialized components

With Futurama they had a few story arcs in their show, the one I remember and personally favor is the Leela-Fry relationship.

Similar to Phineas and Ferb, they also had had a few story arcs, with again being bias my favorite being the Phineas and Isabella relationship.

Note: can you see I like relationship arcs

If Evil morty is the one of the biggest story arcs of the franchise they would need to make sure that the ending for evil morty was satisfyingly tied up in a bow similar to the phineas and ferb final episode. If Evil Morty was the Final climax/arc of the franchise, I would say the ending needs to loop back around to make it "open ended" to keep it procedural similar to Futurama for replayability.

Rick and morty was renewed 70 more episodes somewhere after the end of season 3 making the current total of Rick and Morty episodes to barely pass over the 100 episode threshold. Which is the benchmark for networks for a shows profitability or syndication(profit and syndication are completely different dont get that confused).

So with my, hear me out theory, Rick and Morty has a lot of time to explore the evil morty story arc and/ or make better arcs for the future. Expecting it to be explored now in SeASoN 4 feels a bit too soon. If they keep a 10 episode per season schedule we can expect 6 more seasons of Rick and Morty to explore it. If they decide a 12 episodes per season then at least 5 more seasons.

[im-gonna-liveforever]

I have a crossover fic idea for the starkid musicals and I've been thinking about it too much

I felt the need to tell yall what I would think would happen if the main characters from all the starkid musicals were thrown into a house together, forced to share rooms based on their actors, and then forced to watch all their musicals together, so like: (oh and I havent seen ANI yet, but once I do, I'll start think abt that too)

Jack Bauer getting confused about who's in his family and who's just played by the same actor

Despite the fact that barely any of those characters look or act anything alike

He tried to hug Taz once

He regretted it immediately

By the end theres a picture with Him; a pretty pissed-looking Taz; a very, very confused-looking Ginny; Jazmine; and Bill, shot like a family photo

Eventually he gives up trying to find out who's his children and who's not so he just ends up being everyone's dad

They're all ok with this

Taz teaching various people how to shoot a gun

Even the teens

Espically the teens

Alice becomes quick friends with the mamd characters

Despite her dad's obvious distain about this

"THEY HAVE SENTIENT DICKS, ALICE"

Draco and Craphole becoming best friends

You can fight me on this, they'll be best friends

Aladdin and Sweet Tooth just having a grand ol' time being chaotic evil together and becoming friends

The fact that Jack Bauer Dickrats has to share a room with Sweet Tooth

They also become good friends

Much to the fear of literally everyone else

They learn to avoid their room from then on

Ja'far, Tootsie Megagirl, and Zazzalil gushing about how much they love their wives

Paul and Jamilla gushing about how much they love THEIR wives

Harry bringing his guitar out and half of the TGWDLM characters just. go to the other side of the house

Emma tries to break his guitar at one point

Ron nearly fought her over that

Ron being confused bc "THERS TWO HERMIONES, WHAT DO I DO, HARRY, HELP ME"

Dumbledore being a dick to someone and Ja'far getting extremely offended abt this

Emma and Junior talking abt weed

Craphole realizing that there's a pool and immediately wanting to go skinny dipping, as he does, and all the the adults being like "no wtf???"

Jamilla and Zazzalil love it though, they think hes halarious

They unofficially-officially become his new moms

AND THEN THEY WATCH THE MUSICALS

Everyone looking at their version of the person whenever a character played by that same actor comes on bc "haha hey that's u"

Even and espically the potter kids and Voldemort & Umbridge

Voldemort being like "ok I'm kinda offended" after Voldemort Is Going Down

All of the adults forcing the kids (mainly Craphole, followed by Draco) out when MAMD starts

Paul just going like "yeah I think I'm leaving too" and just going back into the kitchen to drink like 50 cups of coffee so he can avoid watching it

Ted really likes it, though, and keeps going to the kitchen to try and convince him to watch it

Bill trying to leave once he realizes that one of the dicks is played by his actor

Tittymitty nearly tackling him to get him to stay

I just finished mamd, these headcanons are still on my mind, sorry

MAMD: "like Batman and Robin"

Batman and Robin in the background: *aggressively friendshiping*

MAMD: "or superman and HIS dick"

Superman in the background: "Well I mean hes not wro-"

Bug (and the rest of his crew tbh) freaking out when Starship starts bc "IS THAT A PUPPET AM I A PUPPET W H A T IS GOING ON"

"WAIT GUYS THATS THE BODY I TRANSFERRED TO, THATS THE PUPPET GUY, THATS ME GUYS, GUYS LOOK"

Taz being kind of offended that buggette is played by her

Junior being kind of offended that several of the bugs are played by him

Both strongly denying it when confronted

Umbridge being like "ugh who does this guy think he is" when Up is Soft (tm) so Taz just fucking decks her

TGWDLM crew elbowing Hidgens whenever Robert comes on stage during Twisted

Espically during No One Remembers Achmed

ESPICALLY during his Gaston part

Jazmine being like "hey, Aladdin was actually... kinda an ass" and Ja'Far being like "WHAT DID I FUCKING T E L L YOU"

Hhh that's all I can think of/have time to write right now, but still

I just want them all to meet and be chaotic together, it's all I ask

[jacfletch]

if this is just going to make you miserable please ignore this but if it won't ruin your mood I'm interested in everything you didn't like about last week?

i havent watched the ep since it aired so these are things that i remember being annoyed about but i dont have the energy to find specifics from the ep or fact check myself so if something is blatantly wrong just let me know lmao

before i even get into anything specific, the biggest “issue” for me was how weirdly it was written. there were only 2 storylines whereas there’s usually 3 and i get that they probably wanted to do more scenes abt jac & chloe’s respective storylines, but having 2 DEEPLY emotional and dark ones without anything to break them up was a mistake imo. either commit fully to showing jac in the ward by giving her her own episode (they couldve made the joseph ep 3 storylines and this 1 only jac’s if they were worried there were too many jac eps) or let us actually breathe between a mental breakdown & the aftermath of rape. they couldve thrown some donna and xav scenes in there or some extra dofty if they were desperate, but only 2 storylines, writing wise, messed up the pacing of the episode pretty badly. we were sad about one thing and then we were sad about another thing and there was just NO break and it the episode left me feeling really...bad and gross

in regards to jacs storyline, i dont like that they didnt explain ANYTHING. like in my last ask, someone explained to me some of the process of being sectioned and yet there was none of that in the episode???? hello??? if this sl is about the important of getting help then show us how she’s gonna do that??? what does sectioning entail bc all we saw was jac negotiating taking meds and sitting in rooms alone. and i dont mind that jac lashed out at fletch or even sacha because i expect that from her, but i dont like that she actually slapped sacha and i dont like how they wrote it that sacha was more “i feel bad that youre in here” instead of how he probably wouldve been by putting her first, and then we couldve had a scene with him and fletch or him and essie talking abt his guilt. whatever. i didnt like it. i didnt like how obvious they were with the “3 wise men” thing either but thats just being nitpicky. i didnt like how a lot of things went unexplained like that woman that we were supposed to think was a metaphor but it didnt hold much weight or how jac actually hurt her hand. or even how long jac had been there bc it seemed like it mightve been a day or 2 but elliot JUST had surgery and he’s already checked himself out and is walking around? it just doesnt make sense. and the acting was good like...im never gonna say rosie isn’t performing her most bc she clearly is and i think bob and paul and alex did really well also, but the dialogue was so.....it aint it. like it was flat and lifeless and felt like they were going through the motions of what should be said but it seemed to ME that once jacs actual breakdown was over, the writers didnt really know what they were doing or how to say what they wanted to say. the jac/elliot scene was nice but other than that i cant pinpoint one scene of her in the ward that was actually stand out and made the rest worth it.

and then there’s chloe’s storyline. oh boy. i have gripe after gripe with her storyline and its 95% about how for some reason its about cameron? chloe was abused and raped and is now pregnant with evans baby but there’s more time spent on how cam’s dealing with the guilt of not helping evan??? litcherally don’t care about how he feels cos hes a shit doctor so i dont think if cam had tried to help him then evan would still be alive. anyway. i dont like how nicky was all over chloe during the episode and i understood how she was trying to help but she wasnt and she felt very overbearing. i love nicky and one of the things i love about her is how much she cares and what a dumbass she is so this made sense for her but even i felt a little claustrophobic with her (and cam) being on top of chloe every second of the episode. and then evan’s sister coming didnt feel like a natural progression of the sl it just felt like they were adding more trauma onto chloe. im tired of them piling shit onto her like. once she has an abortion can we please just let her live for a little??? sorry just dlgkjdf holby hates her so much bc even when theyre piling all this onto her, theyre not even giving her time to process or react to any of it?? they always make it about other people. and the last thing i have to say is what the FUCK was that last scene with cam???? like genuinely. what in the goddamn hell????

[your-iron-lung]

No Shade in the Shadow of the Cross 10

aka ‘The House That Dripped Blood’; available to read on AO3 HERE

Story Synopsis:  Some weird low-key occult parties start popping up that Steve can’t in good conscience ignore and takes it upon himself to investigate. Billy gets caught up in the consequences of his meddling, and isn’t it funny? For all the strange things the Upside Down has thrown his way, it’s werewolves that Steve has trouble accepting exist.

Chapter Word Count: 7927

Pairings: Eventual Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington

Genre: Supernatural/Drama/Horror-ish

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

Next Chapter: 11

Notes: if you follow me you may have noticed i havent posted in a while- this is bc i spend all my time playing ffxiv instead of setting aside determined amounts of time to spend on writing/drawing and i have a bunch of artist alleys coming up that im ill prepared for and im terrible at budgeting UH YEP bad excuse but WHAT CAN YA DO here we are

(ive also set up a ko-fi account if you want to give drop me some tippy tips if u enjoy the word things i do) ((no pressure tho))

"Bigfoot."

Hopper leaned back in his chair; let it creak and groan under his weight until he knew it was at its limit, and then pushed it a little more. He studied the no-nonsense expression on the hunter before him, and intrinsically knew that the man was speaking truth.

"Bigfoot," the old man said again, speaking a little sterner than he had before once he recognized Hopper's amiable expression of disbelief. "I seen't him out in the woods just the other day."

The aging man had lumbered into the police station almost immediately after Hopper came in, bundled in some worn hunting gear that looked almost as old as he was. The deputies had offered to speak with him after hearing his initial claim, but they'd been refused when Callahan couldn't stop smirking. The old hunter had insisted on speaking with Hopper, who leaned forward now, taking the stress off of his chair to take a sip of the coffee Florence had brought in for him. He didn't look at the old man as he drank.

"So let me get this straight," Hopper began, setting his coffee aside to rub at his forehead, "you came in first thing in the morning worried about a missing friend of yours, but now you're telling me you're worried about Bigfoot."

"You know me, Jim," the hunter said, a slight hint of pleading desperation edging out of his voice. "You know I ain't some crazy old coot. I ain't seen Lamm in a long while, and yessir I'm worried 'bout him, but when I went out to his cabin to check on him I seen it: I seen Bigfoot!"

As incredulous as the claim was, Hopper believed him- not about it being Bigfoot, exactly, but he believed that the man had seen something out there in the woods, and it had the possibility of being that something he'd spent the last two weeks fruitlessly searching for.

Regardless, he didn't want to let the old hunter know he was taking him seriously. The last thing he needed was for his community to think he believed in this sort of nonsense, but people in town were going missing, and people he knew were getting hurt: if his only lead should turn up in the form of an old man believing he'd caught sight of an urban legend, then so be it. He'd follow it through, but he'd be subtle about it.

"You sure it wasn't just a trick of the light or something, Wes? You know your eyes aren't what they used to be," Hopper remarked casually, softening his voice to let him down easy. "And this isn't the first time Lamm's gone missing; you know he's one of those types of shut ins. Remember those weeks he was gone hunting 'vampires'? He's the kind of guy who lives in his own head more than he lives out here, he'll turn up again on his own time."

The hunter's lips twitched into a frown. "Alright, maybe Lamm is a little off kilter," he relented, averting his eyes for a second, "and maybe it weren't Bigfoot, but the tracks it left were huge 'n mighty, by God, and I ain't seen nothin' else like it before. If it weren't Bigfoot, then at the very least it had big feet, Jim, and I ain't never seen feet quite like 'em."

Interest piqued, Hopper became more attentive. "How's that?"

"Well, they was stretched out lookin', for one." The hunter paused, tilting his head slightly as he tried to recall the details of what he'd seen out in the woods. He held his hands up, spaced apart in an approximation of how long the prints he'd found had been. "Human lookin', almost, which is what had me thinkin' it coulda been Bigfoot. They weren't the tracks of somethin' native 'round here, and I only caught but the barest glimpse of it, but it was tall, Jim; taller'n you or I."

That sounded right; the prints he'd found and unsuccessfully tracked were, as the hunter said, 'huge 'n mighty' and matched the description of what he'd just been told. It didn't take an expert's opinion (though he had consulted one) to discern that the markings just weren't natural. Hopper set his mug of coffee aside and pulled out a notepad from one of his desk drawers. He uncapped a pen and held it to the page for a moment before writing down a few preliminary notes for himself on the top line.

The hunter cocked his head and leaned forward to look at what he was writing and said, "That don't look official."

"Because it's not; this one's just gonna be between us, alright?" Hopper said, looking up to meet Wesley's blue, watery eyes. He held the stare long enough to get his point across, waiting for a sign of affirmation before looking back to the notepad and pressing the tip of the pen to the paper. "Tell me where and when exactly you saw this 'Bigfoot' of yours."

The day was cold and grey at its start, with harsh, biting winds ushering in thick clouds that blocked out any hope of the sun ever making an appearance. Steve eyed the sky apprehensively as he made his way back to his car, wary of the way the clouds looked as though they might start dropping hail on him at a moment's notice. Billy feigned disinterest as Steve opened the rear passenger door and leaned in to shove the box of things he'd bought at the Hunting & Camping store into the backseat. Even with his vision obscured in part by the sunglasses he'd elected to wear, he didn't miss the strong look of annoyance that graced Steve's features when he came around to the driver's seat and entered the car with a pout.

"That guy give you a hard time or something?" Billy asked as Steve buckled in and put the BMW into reverse, turning in his seat to hastily jerk the car out of the parking lot. "Why do you look like someone shit in your cereal?"

Steve clicked his tongue. "He just kept asking what a 'kid like me' needed with a bunch of chains and rope and shit. My god, he just would not let it go, like he thought I was trying to build my own sex dungeon or something. Fucking annoying."

"You mean that's not what we're doing?" Billy asked, grinning a bit at the way Steve's face pinched up in disgust. "What'd you say?"

"I told him the truth; said it was to tie up a werewolf. 'It's a full moon tonight, y'know? Gotta tie 'em down or they go all crazy on you', I said to him, and you know what he said to me then?" Steve asked, speeding out of the little downtown shopping area Hawkins played host to and sounding every bit as gossipy as Carol did when she caught wind of a scandal.

"How the fuck would I?" Billy drawled, turning away from the conversation to watch the scenery pass by disinterestedly.

"He said, 'Damn fool kids will never learn'," Steve said, ignoring him. "'Damn fool kids will never learn', like, what the hell does that mean?"

Billy shrugged. "Who knows? As long as he accepted daddy's plastic then what does it matter?"

Steve clicked his tongue again in annoyance and rolled his eyes. "Fuck you."

Feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on, Billy declined to retort. They rode on in silence, the chains in the box Steve had bought clinking together softly in the backseat before the radio was finally turned on to mask the sound.

Regardless of whether or not Steve actually believed something was going to happen to Billy that night, he couldn't deny that the whole day leading up to that evening just felt… off. From meeting up with Billy earlier that afternoon to go by the camping store, to grabbing lunch together before heading over to the Henderson's house, it all felt wrong.

It was something Steve had difficulty pinpointing the origins of, but as they began work on clearing out enough space in the cellar for Billy to do whatever it was he thought he was going to do, he soon came to realize that the feeling of wrongness seemed to stem from Billy himself.

Few words could better describe Billy than 'annoying' or 'smart-mouthed', but he'd been uncharacteristically tight-lipped all day. He'd become a remarkably dull version of himself, and Steve wasn't sure quite how to handle that.

Usually one to argue and bite back at everything Steve said, when he'd begun dishing out instructions on how best to clear out some floor space in the cellar, Billy hadn't talked back to him a single time; merely lit a cigarette and blinked at him slowly, silently acknowledging what had been asked of him before getting on with it.

It was unsettling. Steve could almost say that he hated how submissive Billy was because of how used he'd gotten to the back-talk and smart-ass remarks Billy usually had ready for him, and though, yes, there were times he had wished for this kind of attitude from him, the silence and absolute subordination coupled with all of the other behavioral changes Billy was exhibiting were enough to set Steve on edge.

Billy kept tonguing the gaps in his teeth where they'd fallen out over the course of the week, and he never seemed to realize he wasn't alone. Sometimes he'd jump at the sound of Steve's voice, or shake his head and crease his brow in confusion when he turned around to see Steve moving stuff somewhere behind him, but arguably the worst part of it all was that he stank.

He'd tried to mask it with an overabundance of cologne that had nearly suffocated Steve when they began working in closer quarters, but buried beneath that was a hint of something that smelled awfully rotten. If he had to, Steve could liken it to the stench of the monster they'd encountered in the woods, but he chose not to, instead chalking it up to a severe case of nervous b.o. or something. The implications that the scents could be related bothered him too deeply to believe, and even then he wasn't sure he really wanted to know what the source of the smell was.

The stench of decay emanating from Billy's person was worrisome enough on its own, but with so much to do in order to get ready before sunset, Steve had a hard time figuring out where to primarily apply his focus: there were simply too many things going on for him to worry about one thing more than another.

The giant hole in the wall that Dart made to tunnel out of the cellar was his immediate concern, but Dustin had done a good job of hiding it from his mother by placing a tall shelf in front of it, essentially blocking it off. That didn't mean it wasn't entirely inaccessible, but Steve wasn't sure what more he could do about it. In all honesty, he'd forgotten about it until he'd tried to move the shelf aside and then found himself peeking into the eerie tunnel. He'd knocked over several things in his haste to put the shelf back in place, but Billy hadn't seemed to notice it, and if he didn't, maybe he wouldn't think to use it if- or when- he lost himself to whatever supernatural effects he was experiencing.

"Big if, though," Steve muttered aloud to himself. Turning away from the shelf, he looked over to where Billy was inspecting some old power tools, turning a nail gun over in his hands before setting it back in the box he'd pulled it out of. "So, are we good or what? This baby-proofed enough for you?" Steve asked, startling Billy out of whatever ruminations he'd been lost to.

Billy looked at Steve blankly, face impassive and emotionless. He frowned, and then looked around himself as though he'd forgotten where he was. When he spoke, his voice was monotone and devoid of his usual arrogance as he said, "I don't know, Harrington; is it?"

"You tell me, man, this was your idea." Steve watched as Billy returned his focus on the box of tools he'd originally been rummaging through. Picking up a hammer, Billy balanced its weight in his hands before gripping the handle tightly. Steve distrusted the look in Billy's eye as he held it. "What are you, a child? Quit rifling through their shit, put it back," he said.

Billy didn't reply or even acknowledge that he'd heard him. Ignoring Steve's demand, he stepped up to the abandoned work bench to splay his left hand out over the wood and lifted the ballpeen up.

"What the fuck are you doing? Put it down," Steve said again, his voice rising slightly in pitch when he understood what Billy was doing. He started towards him in an effort to stop him, but halted when the hammer was brought crashing down.

It missed his hand, but the force of the impact splintered the wooden table's surface. Steve gaped as Billy turned around, a cocky little smile turning up his lips.

"Someone could get hurt real bad down here if they weren't careful, huh, Harrington?" he said, a fierceness that Steve hated to admit he'd missed charging his voice. "But we've been real careful cleaning this shithole out, haven't we, pally?"

"You sick piece of shit, give me that," Steve snapped, snatching the hammer away from Billy's pliant grip. "Fuck you, Hargrove; you could've just said you wanted to move this shit out of here."

"Had you pegged as being more of a visual learner," Billy sneered as Steve threw the hammer back into the box of tools. "Your concern was touching, though, really."

"You're the one who came asking me for help, fuckface. Begged me, almost, if I'm remembering right. 'Oh, Steve, help me, I'm so scared of fake movie monsters!'"

Steve hadn't meant to rise to the taunt, but Billy's insufferable attitude had him stooping to his level as he hoisted the hefty box of tools in his arms and lugged them over to the stairway. Billy laughed dryly at Steve's mocking tone.

"We both wish that fucking thing had been fake," he said as Steve placed the box on the ground at the foot of the stairs beside the box of supplies he'd bought earlier. They were both quiet for a moment, their attempt at a conversation dying as quickly as it had been brought on.

"Only one thing left to do then," Steve said morosely.

Billy blinked and turned to face the stairway, eyes rising slowly up to where the cellar doors were propped open wide. Steve felt the guilt of having to lock him in prematurely and had to remind himself that he wanted to be locked in.

"Better hop to it then, Harrington," Billy said lowly, lips curling back into a familiar grin, but without all his teeth in place to flesh it out, Steve found the display to be more unsettling than annoying. "Let's get this sex dungeon set up."

Steve grimaced. "Not even in your wildest dreams, Hargrove."

"Nothing's off the table in my dreams, pretty boy." Billy breathed out a small laugh at the disgusted look on Steve's face, but the grin he'd been displaying slowly fell away. "Is it getting dark yet?"

"Uh, kind of, but the sun hasn't set yet," Steve replied, stepping up into the stairwell to check the status of the sky. It was as dull and grey as it had been all day, the overcast weather acting as a harbinger for the snowfall the local meteorologist had foretold was coming. "If you took off those fucking sunglasses you'd be able to tell."

"These are for your benefit as much as mine," Billy snapped, frowning suddenly.

"Yeah, okay, whatever that means," Steve said dismissively as he began to fish out the cords of rope from the box, letting them spool out onto the ground before gathering them into his hands. "How do you uh, how do you want to do this?"

"Aw, is this kitten's first time tying someone up?" Billy purred, not moving from where he stood in the middle of the cellar, directly under the light. "Who knew 'King' Steve's favourite flavor was vanilla."

Steve rolled his eyes as he brought the ropes over, wrinkling his nose at the mixed smell of rot and cologne that got stronger with proximity. "I've dated girls kinkier than you'd know what to do with," he retorted as he gestured for Billy to hold out his hands.

"Oh please," Billy said with a snort, "there are no kinky girls in Hawkins or I would've found them by now."

"You're obviously not looking hard enough," Steve muttered in response, gesturing again for Billy to hold out his hands.

Shrugging out of his leather jacket and tossing it over the work table he'd splintered, Billy held his hands up obediently and watched stoically as Steve wound the rope around his wrists, binding his hands together roughly.

"What's should our safe word be?" Billy teased, smirking as Steve wound another, longer length of rope over the original knot.

"There is no safe word because this isn't a sex thing!" Steve insisted angrily.

Flustered, he sighed irritably as he wound the long part of the rope around Billy's waist, hating how close he had to get in order to make sure the rope was tight enough, though Billy seemed to be enjoying how close he'd gotten. He kept shifting his weight around, trying, it seemed, to get Steve into a more compromising position. Annoyed, but determined to finish, Steve did his best to ignore Billy's constant movement and the disgusting, rotten musk that was wafting off of his person to finish tying him up.

"Why do you fucking stink so goddamn badly?" Steve finally asked with a scowl, repressing the urge to gag as he tied the ropes off into a clumsy knot. He stumbled away from Billy, reaching up to pinch his nostrils shut so he wouldn't have to smell the rot anymore, but the rancid scent seemed to have lodged itself deep into his nose. "You smell like a dead Calvin Klein model or something, holy shit, did you use a whole fucking bottle?"

The amusement Billy had held while taunting Steve left his face. His smirk shrunk into an awkward grimace as he looked away in embarrassment.

"I don't know, alright?" he admitted bitterly. "It doesn't matter how much I bathe, and between that and my eyes I have no idea what the fuck's going on with me."

"What about your eyes?" Steve asked hesitantly, unsure if he really wanted to know the reasoning behind why Billy had insisted on wearing sunglasses all day.

Billy faltered for a moment, hesitating briefly before reaching up and plucking the sunglasses off his face. With both hands bound together, he awkwardly folded the legs against the lenses and tucked them into the collar of his button up. He turned his gaze to Steve, who couldn't help but suck in a slight breath of surprise.

His eyes were so bloodshot they looked ready to start bleeding straight out of the sockets. There were hardly any whites left in the sclera to be seen as Billy winked at him, looking immensely uncomfortable at the way Steve was gaping openly at him.

"Do they- hurt? Or whatever?" Steve asked, unconsciously taking a few steps forward to get a better look. In the dim lighting of the basement, even the blues of Billy's eyes looked reddish.

"What's it to you if they do?" Billy snapped, suddenly irritable. He squared his jaw and looked away, unable to face the amount of concern Steve was showing him.

The worry Steve felt for the both of them in that moment grew stronger as he backed off, letting the matter of the changes in Billy's physicality drop, despite how alarming they were. "If I don't hear anything an hour after the sun goes down, I'll let you out," Steve said abruptly as he walked backwards towards the stairwell, grasping for the hand rail behind him blindly, unsure why he was so reluctant now to let Billy out of his sight. It was what they'd agreed upon earlier, and he said it meaning for it to sound reassuring, but the way Billy's lips twitched made it apparent he didn't interpret it that way.

Billy didn't respond.

"Well, uh, I guess that's it then," Steve said as he bent down, placing his box of chains atop the box of tools Billy had been messing around with before lifting them up together to carry them up and out of their man-made dungeon.

The cellar doors shrieked loudly as they were closed, a high pitched agony that erupted when the metal grinded against itself uncooperatively. Steve didn't mind that so much as he hated the sound the chains made as he wove them through the door handles, reminding him of what he was doing and who he was imprisoning as the steel rattled sharply against the doors. He winced at the commotion, but continued to loop them through the small door handles until no more could be fit between them. He tested their sturdiness by attempting to pull them open, and to his pleasure, they remained shut. The doors were secured; the cellar, as far as he was concerned, was now a suitable prison. All that was left of him now was to play the role of the jailor appropriately.

He stared down at his handiwork for a moment before the cold, blowing winds prompted him to seek shelter. Already a few snowflakes were fluttering out of the sky, flying into his cheeks as he turned away, re-gathering the box of tools in his arms and headed for the door Dustin promised he'd leave a key for.

Searching under the backdoor mat, Steve found the promised key, and true to the rest of Dustin's word, the entire home was empty, save for the cat that chirped a greeting for him from atop the kitchen counter. With a deep intake of breath Steve glanced at his watch, stepped inside, and shut the door behind him, wondering if he really was prepared for the worst. In the trunk of his car his bat waited for him, ready to be put to use just in case shit really did hit the fan, but he found himself questioning if he'd really be able to use it; bludgeoning monsters to death was one thing, but turning it on a boy he knew was only a monster figuratively was something else entirely.

For both his and Billy's sakes, he hoped it wouldn't come to that.

Shrugging out of his thick coat, Steve set it down beside him as he took a seat on the Henderson's couch. He glanced at his watch again, dismayed by the fact that time wasn't progressing as fast as he wished it was and sat in anxious worry about what the rest of the night might have in store.

But at least he was comfortable and warm.

The cellar was not.

It wasn't the cold that Billy minded, so much as it was the anticipation: when would the transformation start? Exactly at sundown? A little before? A little after? Would he actually end up transforming? And why the fuck did the word 'transform' make him so damn uncomfortable? The unknown factors surrounding his circumstances were almost worse than any of the physical symptoms he'd been experiencing as of late, and he'd been experiencing a lot.

Anxiety wasn't something Billy had a lot of experience with, but it was the only thing he could think of that explained why his heart had been beating oddly all day. It was running at a notably higher rate, as though he'd been playing basketball or working out extraneously, and brought on palpitations he wasn't used to dealing with at the elevated speed.

In short he felt terrible. His whole body ached like it was going through puberty again. Both his arms and legs were sore in ways that mimicked the aches that came with growing pains when he'd had them, but he couldn't understand why he would begin to hurt in that way again. He hadn't had the energy to work out in two days despite eating practically anything he could get his hands on, so the soreness in his limbs was unwarranted. Either his body was preparing itself for the coming night, or he was having an incredibly drawn-out heart attack.

Standing at the foot of the stairwell, Billy felt the cold permeating in through the closed opening and moved away to find a better spot to wait. He wanted rub his arms to bring some warmth into them, but couldn't with the way they were bound. Already the ropes were beginning to dig into his wrists, rubbing uncomfortably against his skin as he realized he wasn't actually that cold anyway, despite the frigid weather; his body temperature had been on a steady incline leading up to now, leaving him with a rosy complexion and a near constant fever, the long-term effects of which left him feeling severely disoriented.

He could barely remember meeting up at Steve's house only a few hours ago to carpool to his kid friend's house, riding with the windows down in spite of the severe wind-chill as they went into town to get lunch and buy rope. Even though they'd ridden together, he couldn't remember now if they'd actually talked about anything or not. All he could remember were the low tones of the radio and the resonating throbs of the wind as it swooped in through the open windows, rushing to fill the audial space between them. It was as though his mind had been steeped in a fog, and he couldn't accurately think through it: everything was clouded over, incomprehensible, like waking up the morning after a bender and being unable to remember everything he'd done the night before, but knowing all the same that he'd taken part in some memorable shit.

Would there be pain, he wondered, and would it come on as suddenly as it had to the character in the movie he'd made Steve watch? Even though 'American Werewolf' was just a movie, stories like that had to spawn from some sort of truth, didn't they?

The dim little lightbulb that hung overhead flickered briefly, drawing Billy's attention to it as he took a seat at the work table's bench, wishing his eyes weren't a dry and sore as they were.

Coming from above, he could hear the muffled sounds of a TV show permeating through the cellar's ceiling. He couldn't help but think ill of Steve in that moment, but if their situations had been reversed, he probably would have been doing the same thing; he couldn't fault Harrington for finding a way to pass the time, though he wished he had something similar to do for himself. There was nothing interesting to hold his attention, and time passed at a dreadfully slow rate.

Stretching out on the bench, he laid himself down slowly, mindful of which parts of his back hurt the most, and gazed up at the cement overhead disinterestedly. He listened to the muffled sounds of the distant television, trying to conjure an image in his mind that corresponded with what little dialogue he could hear, but the rapid beating of his heart overpowered the noises coming from the TV. He closed his eyes and focused on his breathing in an attempt to lower his heart rate, but it just kept going, pounding in a determined rhythm that seemed to be quickening with each passing minute. A bead of sweat trickled down from his scalp and over his ear as he wondered if the tingling he felt in the tips of his fingers was because of the cold or from the ropes being tied too tight.

He flexed his fingers, opening and closing his hands into a fist to try and bring sensation back into his fingertips, but to no avail. They remained numb, and the cause of which eluded him.

Frowning, Billy stiffly sat up and began to pinch at his skin, belatedly realizing that the numbness was spreading slowly down the lengths of his fingers, a sensation that sent a chill running down the length of his spine.

"Oh," he said. "Oh shit."

The pain, when he finally did begin to feel it, started in his feet. There were still thirty minutes before the sun went down.

Billy licked his lips nervously as he tried to get his boots off, his numb fingers and bound hands fumbling uselessly with the laces as the pain centralized in his toes and grew in sudden intensity. He was no stranger to pain, but this was unlike anything he'd ever felt before: it was sharp and stabbing, with each throb of pain stemming from the bones in his toes, as though they were growing more pointed in an attempt to pierce their way through his skin as they elongated. He could feel them cracking; each joint slowly popping free of itself as the bones began to push themselves forward.

"Oh, shit," he repeated, and could hear the muffled sounds of a laugh track from whatever sitcom Steve had turned on upstairs roaring in delight as he struggled to finally pull his boots off.

The stabbing sensation didn't relent, even once his shoes lay discarded by his feet. He peeled away his socks with shaking hands and stared down at his toes.

They'd turned a bright, beet red and were bulging like they might burst apart, his skin bubbling up around toenails that were already starting to peel off. He couldn't help the whimper as he tentatively felt them, a pain like touching a freshly popped, skinless blister causing him to draw his fingers back.

It was real. It was happening.

Sweating freely now, he reached away from his feet to brush his dampened hair away from his forehead as sweat rolled down the sides of his face. He paused when he felt his hair pull free from his scalp, clinging to the back of his hand stubbornly. Billy stared at the loose, curly strands with a horrified expression and reached up with a shaking hand to grab more. When he pulled, a handful of his hair came away easily, eliciting another whimper from deep within his throat. Disgusted and frightened, he threw his hair away to the floor.

Breathing quickly, he hastily rubbed his hands free of the loose strands in a panic and tried to calm himself. His whole body trembled as he breathed in deeply through his nose, wondering if he should try to call out to Steve to alert him that the worst case scenario was indeed unfolding. Another laugh track from upstairs came through the ceiling as he felt a sharp, sudden stab of pain in his ribs, prompting him to gasp loudly and curl forward over himself. He could actually feel some part of his ribcage shifting inside his torso as he tucked his arms in to his sides. Any lingering thoughts of trying to remain calm left him as he transitioned from panic to full on fear.

He stood up not knowing what he was going to do, but regretted it instantly: as soon as he put weight on his foot, his ankle collapsed in on itself and brought him to the floor. A shout almost came out with his fall, but he managed to internalize the pain as he was used to doing and grit his teeth as his foot essentially broke itself in half.

The central part of his foot that arched snapped without warning. Billy swore loudly and reached for his foot instinctively, wanting to hold the break in place, but he couldn't bear the agony that came with the contact. Warm tears leaked from his eyes, and when his other lateral arch also split in half, he couldn't help but cry out.

From up above, the noises coming from the television ceased. Steve must have heard him and was listening for him now, trying to gauge whether or not he should intervene. Billy clenched his jaw tighter, determined to keep quiet, but gasped loudly when two of his molars gave out under the pressure, snapping to the side and coming loose of his gumline. The copper taste of blood filled his mouth as he spat the teeth out, shuddering uncontrollably when he felt the vertebrae in his spine begin to pop, one by one, pushing up against his skin that was quickly beginning to feel too tight.

Huffing in great breaths of air, he panted heavily as the bones of his tones finally pierced through his skin, causing most of the flesh surrounding them to burst open like little balloons. Blood splattered across the floor in gruesome, miniature arcs and Billy finally, finally became undone. He shrieked, unable to keep silent any longer as new appendages could be seen inside the flayed bits of bloody skin, slowly growing outward, already a part of him.

Warm tears of pain streaked down his face in thick lines as the skin of his feet continued to be ripped apart, making way for more muscle, new flesh. He wiped at his eyes helplessly and thought he could hear Steve's voice distantly calling out his name, asking if everything was alright.

He blinked, his vision blurred by the tears that would not clear away as he pulled himself over to the stairway.

Shaking wildly all over, Billy stretched out on the floor, realizing belatedly that the waistband of his jeans was growing tighter and tighter. Hissing sharply, he cursed himself for not having the foresight to undress himself as he hastily tried to undo his belt. A pain similar to the initial agony he'd felt in his toes was beginning to manifest itself in his fingers as both of his hands slowly began to turn red, swelling up under the bonds of the rope as he fumbled with the buckle, desperately trying to get it to come free.

"Fuck!" he shouted in frustration, his clothing growing ever tighter as his body continued to bloat. He felt like he was being pinched in half with his belt acting as an unneeded tourniquet. "Fuck! Fuck!"

"Hey! Talk to me Hargrove, what's going on?"

Steve's worried voice trilled down through the cellar doors as he continued vocalizing his frustrations. Billy felt an organ in his abdomen shift out of place before popping, prompting him to groan and curl in on himself before he threw up. His couldn't undo his belt as his vision began to darken.

"Hargrove!" Steve shouted, banging a fist against the steel door. "What the hell's going on? Talk to me!"

"Fuck you!" Billy screamed, unable to articulate anything else as he tried to rub the blackness out of his eyes, but the more he pressed his fingers to them, they more they began to hurt.

A pressure was building up behind them the more he rubbed, and as it increased, his vision grew ever darker. He kept blinking, over and over, feeling his eyes bulge out of their sockets and against his eyelids, trying now to keep his eyeballs in place. He was hyperventilating when he finally went blind, the pressure behind his eyes becoming intolerable eyes before it finally came too much, and his eyes popped free.

He felt them slide out onto over his checks and onto the floor, the slimy, blood-slick nerves leaving tracks of blood on his face as he became totally and completely blind.

"No," he whispered to himself, retching again on the floor as he scrambled across the cement, trying to find the stairs, unable to see. "No, no! This isn't real!"

Beyond the cellar doors, Steve had his ear pressed against the slight crack between the panels, desperately trying to understand what was going on. He wasn't sure what to make of the noises he was hearing, unable to determine if Billy was just trying to mess with him or if he was in actual distress.

"Hargrove," he said impatiently, turning his head to try and peak in through the crack to get a glimpse of what was going on, "you gotta start talking to me, man; what the hell's going on down there?"

"I'm fucking blind," he heard Billy shout, his voice rife with fear. "I can't see anything!"

His voice was shaking as he spoke, and Steve knew then that whatever was happening was legitimate; Billy wasn't one to openly show weakness.

"Okay, stay calm," Steve stammered, but he wasn't sure if that was actually sound advice or not. "It's- it's going to be okay, okay?"

Billy howled, and Steve understood that the pain that carried with his voice must have been terrible to get him to shriek like that. He licked his lips anxiously, not knowing what support he could possibly offer him. He continuously opened and shut his mouth, words of encouragement dying on his tongue before he could manage to speak them.

And then, all at once, the cacophony of agony ceased.

Steve couldn't hear anything over the rapid sound of his breathing for a moment before he finally spoke: "Hargrove? Is… are you okay?"

"Hurts." Billy's voice, quiet, strained, and barely audible over the sounds of things (flesh, fabric) slowly tearing, sounded disconcertingly like he was speaking with a throat full of water. It was gargling and grotesque; completely unlike the smooth, honeyed voice he'd become known for.

"Okay, what, uh, what… what hurts?" Steve whispered in response, fear quieting his previously urgent tone.

"Everything."

"Shit," Steve said to himself, backing away from the cellar door panels as the sounds of something large and heavy being knocked over made him jump. "Just, uh, stay calm," he said, though he wasn't sure if he was saying it to himself or Billy. From down below, he heard Billy groan loudly before going silent again.

Steve's heart was pounding as he hesitated, unsure of what to do. All the details of Billy's haphazardly concocted plan fled his mind as he tried to think back on what they'd agreed to do if something ended up happening, and his first instinct was to open the doors to go down and check on him. He looked at the chains wrapped tightly around the door handles and bit his lip before crouching down and pressing his eye to the crack.

The overhead light wasn't bright enough to reveal much, but at the base of the stairwell there was a small circle of illumination. Steve squinted, ignoring the cold of the steel as he pressed his face against the door, trying to see all that he could.

Blood stains. Torn bits of… something he couldn't quite make out. Dark masses on the stairwell; lots of evidence that pointed towards Billy transforming, but no trace of Billy himself.

"Hargrove," Steve whispered, and then shook his head to clear himself of his cowardice. "Hargrove," he said again, louder and with more emphasis, "dude, you have to talk me through what's happening down there."

He waited, unconsciously holding his breath as he waited for a reply. It was steadily growing darker as the sun slowly sank, making it all the harder to see into the cellar from the tiny slit. Frowning and unable to see anything, Steve turned his head and pressed his ear against the door. From somewhere in the depths of the cellar he could hear something breathing heavily. It was moving, too; he could hear something shuffling, moving around the floor space cautiously.

When he turned his head again to see through the crack, he caught a glimpse of... something large and hulking cross under the light, tall enough to set the lightbulb swinging. He couldn't help but suck in a sharp breath of air, his lungs and throat burning with the sting of the cold weather. The thing- whatever Billy had become- halted just outside the rim of light. Entranced, Steve found he couldn't move as it emitted a low, threatening growl that sounded more like a man impersonating a dog than an actual beast.

From his limited viewpoint, he couldn't see the way the muscles in its legs were tightening, or how it had begun to crouch; he didn't have time to react as it sprang forward, jumping up the stairs in a single leap to ram itself against the doors.

The chains held the doors shut, but the sudden impact smashed the metal against Steve's nose and soon all he could smell was blood as it drained out of his nostrils. He fell backwards, holding his nose as the Billy-creature growled again. Horrified, Steve could only sit in the snow and watch as the doors lurched forward when Billy rammed against them again, trying to escape. The second impact loosened the restraints, and all Steve could do in that moment was watch as they rattled uselessly in place, beginning to slip through the handles as they hadn't been properly locked into place.

Cursing to himself, staggered to his feet and rushed to grab the chains, but as Billy threw his body against the doors again it soon became obvious that even if the doors stayed shut, they were about to pop free of their hinges entirely. Blood dripped down over his lips and onto the metal panels as he tried to think of what he could possibly do to counteract the damage Billy had done. In an act of desperation, he threw himself against the steel and hoped that his added bodyweight would be enough to keep them in place.

If it managed to do anything, he couldn't tell. Almost immediately Billy was throwing himself against the doors again, nearly bucking Steve off.

"Stop!" Steve cried out, grasping for the chains to hold them in place. His fingers scrabbled against the cold steel links even as Billy let out another deep, throaty growl. With the doors as loose as they were, Steve was almost certain the doors wouldn't survive another body-slam. "Give it up, Hargrove!" Steve said again, desperately. "Just- fuck, Billy, stop!"

He braced himself for another impact, but it never came. Eyes closed in anticipation, Steve blinked them open and exhaled shakily, his fingers trembling as he let the chains go. Crystalized air puffed out in front of his face over and over as he rolled off the doors and stood up unsteadily, trying to wipe away the blood that had already frozen over and turned to crust on his upper lip. Somehow, miraculously, his pleading had worked, but before he could take comfort in that fact, other disturbing sounds began to creep back up to him from down below.

Things were being tossed around; the metallic clang of old paint cans being bounced off the floors and walls mixed with the hoarse, angry vocalizations of the creature Billy had become made his blood run colder than the air currently was. The noises Billy was making were at once both animalistic and human, deep and throaty and more akin to the bellows of a moose than a man or wolf.

Steve stood in front of the cellar doors not knowing what to do. Already their plan was falling apart, and he was quickly becoming aware of how vastly unprepared he was to handle the situation. He wanted the security of the bat in his trunk, but didn't trust himself to leave the doors unattended for the length of time it would take him to run back inside and grab his keys to get it, but he felt so weak without it.

Another loud, crashing noise came from within and Steve stilled, listening intently. Faintly, he could hear Billy snuffling about, and after the sun finally completely descended, all was quiet. His nose was throbbing as he stood attentively, but when nothing more could be heard, his stomach sank.

With trembling hands and his mind screaming at him to stop, he knelt by the doors and slowly unwound the chains from the handles. The fact that he couldn't hear anything coming from within didn't sit well with him; he had to make sure Billy was still down there.

He tried to shift the chains as quietly as possible, but with how nervous he was, he had a hard time keeping his hands steady. They rattled noisily against the door, grating on his already frazzled nerves as they slid free. Heart pounding madly, Steve carefully pulled the doors open and took the first step down into the cellar.

It was silent. He couldn't hear anything as he hesitantly took a second step, mentally berating himself over and over for being stupid enough to walk defenseless into the lion's mouth. He had no idea what Billy was capable of now, or if he'd even recognize him enough to (hopefully) have enough sense to not harm him. The lightbulb that dangled freely from the ceiling was swaying, throwing its light around erratically, showing him glimpses of the gore that lined the steps.

Eyes wide, Steve gagged at the sight of the flayed strips of bloodied skin that were splattered near everywhere. He had to avert his eyes as he took another step, making slow progress as he was careful not to step in any of the mess. At the bottom of the stairs he warily peered around the walls, hoping he'd only stuck his head into the lion's mouth figuratively. To his immediate relief, but long-term dismay, there was no trace of Billy to be seen in the space of the cellar.

Exhaling deeply, Steve tried to even out his breathing as he came to stand in the middle of the room, looking around to assess the damage. As the swinging lightbulb steadied, he turned towards where the shelf that was hiding the tunnel had been and found it on the ground, knocked to its side and several feet away from where it had originally been positioned. His shoulders drooped at the realization of Billy's escape.

He went and stood before the opening of the tunnel and felt all hope of remedying the situation vanish. A numbness overtook him as he recognized his responsibilities of keeping Billy captive had changed; he was the only one who knew about Billy's circumstances, and he was the only one who could do anything about it now. Distantly, and much further away then he would've liked, he could hear the muted, labored sounds of Billy's breathing as he escaped confinement through the underground system.

The burden of his responsibilities threatened to overwhelm him in that instant, but instead of letting himself be overtaken by despair, Steve took a deep, steadying breath and rolled his shoulders back. He hesitated for only a minute before he took charge and ran in after him, disregarding his urgent need to turn back and get his bat out of the car. There was no time, he thought; no time to get a weapon, no time to get a flashlight. If Billy was now as the werewolf in the woods was, then he was capable of speeds greater than Steve could muster, and every second mattered. If he lost his trail now, then it would be lost to him entirely. There was no time; he had to go now or he wouldn't go at all.

Alone and unarmed Steve ran, chasing after Billy into the dark, cold tunnel, hoping he would be able to catch him in time, and dreading the repercussions that would come if he couldn't.

[katsvra]

Tagged by @ryuzakki ​ thank you so much anthea <33

tagging: @kuruisu, @lovekuramas, @ocarinnas @kishitan-iis @usagiyamah @haru-kaas

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 15 people

LAST

1. drink - green tea !

2. 📱 call -  my mom 

3. text - a friend texting to ask about concert merch 

4. song you listened to - idk the name of the song but its the yakuza 0 soundtrack

5. time you 😢 - yesterday tbh 

HAVE YOU EVER

6. dated someone twice - never even dated anyone once lmao 

7. 😘 someone and regretted it - never kissed anyone either

8. been cheated on - nope

9. lost someone special - yes, when i was quite young

10. been depressed - yeah 

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - never thrown up after drinking 

FAVORITE COLORS

12. (pastel) pink !! 

13. purple

14. blue

15. yellow ! 

in the last year have you

16. made new friends - yes  !! 

17. fallen out of 💛 - nope nope

18. 😂 until you 😢 - yes i have !! ive got some funny friends :’) 

19. found out someone was talking about you - nope but im sure people are 

20. met someone who changed you - um i didnt meet anyone knew but i got closer to some people who changed me!

21. found out who your friends are - not really 

22. 😘 someone on your facebook friends list - nope nope 

GENERAL

23. how many friends from your fb friends list do you know irl - all of them except tania and joanne

24. do you have any pets - i have a hamster named beanu ! 

25. do you want to change your middle name - not really, its my chinese name and i quite like it c: 

26. what did you do for your last 🎂 - i thought we were throwing a surprise party for my friend but when i showed up, it turns out they were all throwing a surprise party for me and it was super sweet :’) we ended up going for korean bbq  and karaoke ! 

27. what time did you wake up today - 12pm /sweats

28. what were you doing last night at midnight - working on my midterm notes 

29. what is something you can’t wait for - MARIANAS TRENCH CONCERT !! this wednesday!!!! i havent shut up about it for weeks !!!

30. what are you listening to right now - still the yakuza 0 soundtrack ! 

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - i knew someone named tommy which i think is close enough

32. something that gets on your nerves - when people :)) are late :))) and they dont notify you that they will be late :)))) so you just sit there for an hour, not sure if they are actually going to show up :))))))) 

33. most visited website - twitter & youtube & probably my school website 

34. hair color - auburn ish with black roots now lol 

35. long hair or short hair - i have rlly long hir and i like it on me ! altho i think short hair is adorable in general

36. do you have a crush on someone - nope

37. what do you like about yourself - i like that i try to view things optimistically, that im decently good at art, that im a big dreamer 

38. want any piercings - i used to until i found out im allergic to whatever they make earrings etc out of

39. blood type - tbh they told me and i forgot

40. nicknames - carz, carmine, weeb, dumbass, sunshine (which is still???? the cutest??)

41. relationship status - nonexistent

42. zodiac - virgo

43. pronouns - she/her

44. favorite 📺 show - hmm i havent watched tv in a while but the first that come to mind are b99 and doctor who. also rosy business!!! and scarlet heart (the original chinese one) was rlly good!

45. tattoos - love it on others, not so much myself

46. right handed or left - right!

47. ever had surgery - i mean,,, not that i can remember? 

48. piercings - I mean pierced ears but they are closing so ?? 

49. sports - i love skiing, skating and rollerblading !!! basically i dont like team sport, i like sports where i can just enjoy being outside c: 

50. vacation - we are planning a trip to BANFF!!! and im so excited!!! BANFF is such a gorgeous park and its just one of my dreams to go hiking or canoeing there omg ;; ^ ;; 

51. trainers - ??? are these running shoes??? i wear them in the summer bc i walk a lot, not so much winter bc canada is freaking cold

MORE GENERAL

52. eating - just gum

53. drinking - green tea, its all i ever drink

54. i’m about to watch - nothing since i need to study (but realistically, im going to watch yu yu hakusho)

55. waiting for - the concert ! and also for my acceptance (or rejection) letters to come in

56. want - a degree that can actually get me a job lol

57. get married - let me actually get into a relationship first before i think about this lol

58. career - dream career? field ecologist or working in a sanctuary or really anything environmental. realistically? teacher or nurse

WHICH IS BETTER

59. kisses or hugs - hugs def

60. 👄 or eyes - eyes

61. shorter or taller - taller

62. older or younger - older, im already immature enough for the both of us

63. nice arms or stomach - ?? neither tbh

64. hookup or relationship - relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant - a bit of both !

HAVE YOU EVER

66. 😘 a stranger - nope, im literally the most boring person

67. drank hard liquor - yupp, actually more often than i should

68. lost glasses - yeah ^^;;

69. turned someone down - i think? in like elementary? 

70. sex on first date - nope

71. broken someone’s ❤️- maybe?? but like in elementary??? so does that even count lol

72. had your 💔 - not really but ive felt super betrayed by friends

73. been arrested - not yet 

74. 😢 when someone died - ,,,, yeah 

75. fallen for a friend - yes but she straight af so 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

76. yourself - on good days ! 

77. miracles - not really

78. 💛 at first sight - with fictional characters maybe. irl? nah

79. 🎅 - lmao santa vixx maybe

80. 😘 on a first date - ?? idk let me go on a date first and ill get back to you eventually

81. angels - only friends sweet enough to be angels

other

82. best friend’s name - they all have unique names so let me use their nicknames: uma, sai, rita & veanu, what would i do without them :’( 

83. eye color - brown 

84. favorite movie - Lord of the Rings & Howl’s Moving Castle !!!! and a bunch of really old movies that im not gonna bother listing

85. favorite actor - i mean i really liked andy lau for a long time. and also wayne lai & sheren tang because i just ADORE rosy business. and ryan reynolds. always ryan reynolds. 

[holland-ish]

Forgotten  [ T. Holland ]

Request: i requested something a while back and ill just request it again so its a tom x reader angst where tom is out filming and him and reader havent spent time together in awhile and then reader calls tom and then its big fight on the phone and reader tells tom they should maybe go on a break and tom is like ok but like hes angry so he didnt register what she said and then he flies back to their apartment couple days later to apologize but she was gone, all her things were gone and tom is sad :)

Word Count: 1,602

Warnings: Angst, language, Tom’s a bit of a dick and my riting may not be great

Tagging @cosmetologynerd and @hollandroos bc I can’t remember but I think they wanted to be tagged?

A/N: I’m sorry the requests are taking me so long?? Please do leave feedback, I always appreciate being told what I could do better next time! Lots of love xx

Masterlist

You contemplated ignoring his call. After all, that’s been exactly what he’s been doing whenever you call him. It was almost as if he’d forgotten about you despite how much you both would deny it. But you hadn’t forgotten about him. And you were worried about him, curious as to why he hadn’t spoken to you in so long.

Tom was busy with work, you understood that, but it only took a few seconds to type up a text and press send. Surely he would have at least had the time to have sent you a text, right? He could have even replied to one of the many that you had sent him to check in on how he was doing. But he didn’t and you were stuck waiting for replies that never came.

It hurt a lot that he hadn’t contacted you in weeks. Tom was having the time of his life and you understood that, knowing that filming these movies and promoting them is what made him happy. However, that didn’t stop you from feeling upset that you hadn’t heard is voice in over a month, that you had no idea what he was doing with his castmates.

And it wasn’t as if Tom didn’t have the time to go out with his friends, no. You could see on his instagram that he was out and about, living his work life happily without you. If he could post these photos to instagram, he could at least text you back.

After the phone had stopped ringing, you took a minute and just stared at it. Why was Tom calling you all of a sudden? Why is he finally making an effort to contact you now? It was weird, you had to admit, but you found yourself calling him back without thinking twice about it. There were only two rings before he picked up.

“Hey baby,” Tom hiccuped. “I been having so much-” Another hiccup. “-so much fun.”

You sighed, rolling your eyes and ignoring the swirl of emotions in your belly. Tom was drunk, his words sloppy and his voice a mixture of low and high pitches.

You huffed out a fake laugh, ignoring him as he slurred out something unintelligible. “I bet you have. Call me back when you’re sober. Or don’t. I don’t care anymore.”

That was a lie. You did care. Nonetheless, you hung up on him, not bothering to speak to him unless he was sober. Tom probably wouldn’t even remember he had called you so you didn’t bother yourself with expecting a call back from him any time soon.

You waited through the night, sleeping restlessly. The empty spot on the bed beside you seemed to be teasing you about the man that hadn’t made the effort to call the one person he had said he loved the most. You pushed yourself out of the bed, willing yourself to snap out of this daze and start your day.

At one point, you had began to wonder if he’d even come home or not. Maybe he’d forgotten where he’d lived too.

Shaking your head in a failed attempt to rid yourself of such thoughts. You tried getting on with the rest of your day, but your mind kept finding its way back to Tom and his unlikely call back. Hours later, an empty dinner plate sat on the coffee table as you mindlessly watched whatever was playing on the TV.

You weren’t going to lie. You did want him to call back, you did want to talk to him, sort things out. Of course you did; you loved him. Every half hour you found yourself glancing over at your phone until it actually started ringing, your heart rate picking up as you stumbled to pick it up.

When you saw Tom’s name on the caller ID, you weren’t exactly sure how you should feel. Happy? Angry? Upset? Nervous? You accepted the call with no idea how you would speak to him.

“I’m sorry-”

“No you’re not.”

“I am,” Tom muttered. “I didn’t mean to call you while I was drunk.”

You scoffed. “I’m pretty sure you didn’t mean to call me at all.”

Tom sighed, the sound rusty over the line. You could almost feel him squeezing his eyes shut the way he usually did when he knew you were unhappy with him. Not that you were unhappy with him very often because you weren’t.

“What is that supposed to mean, sweetheart?” His voice was coated in a thick layer of unnatural sugar and you rolled your eyes at it. Tom was trying to stop you from getting worked up with him, innocent in his actions but unaware that it came off rather… ill-mannered.

“Don’t you dare ‘sweetheart’ me, Tom,” you blurted, your palms becoming clammy as you struggled to think clearly. How could he be so unaware of his ignorance? “You’ve been ignoring my calls. Haven’t replied to a single one of my texts and you don’t bother to contact me! I haven’t heard anything from you for several weeks, Tom!”

“I’m busy,” was all he said.

“Oh, bullshit,” you swore, feeling your face heat up at his half-hearted excuse. “It doesn’t take more than a minute to send me a simple text, Tom. If you can spend time hanging out with your new friends and posting about it on twitter or instagram then you can sure as hell let me know that you’re doing okay.”

“Is this because I’m spending time with them and not you?” he grunts. “Because if it is, then-”

“No! It’s not about that, Tom!” You were glad he wasn’t standing in front of you, with his arms crossed as they usually were when he was worked up.

“Then what is this about, huh?” Tom’s words were strained, his voice louder than usual but he wasn’t shouting. “I have more important things on my mind! I’m filming a fucking movie, Y/N, I can’t constantly be thinking about you and about calling you!”

“Dammit, Tom!” You let out a frustrated groan, running the hand that wasn’t gripping your hand through your hair and tugging roughly without realising. Wincing, you pulled your hand away. “Sometimes I wonder if you even remember me! For fuck’s sake, it’s like you’ve forgotten who I am!”

“Maybe I have!” He retorts, frowning after he realised what he said and knowing it was a lie but at this point he was far too frustrated to control what words were leaving his mouth. “I have to focus on work! I’m a fucking actor, Y/N, I’m going to be busy filming and I’m going to be busy with events! You can’t expect me to worry about calling you when I’ve got to be making sure I don’t fuck up my image and my career!”

“And your career is more important than me?” You asked, your voice hard and filled with anger that you’d been holding back for so long.

“Maybe it is.”

It was almost as if every ounce of anger had been washed out of your body in one go. Your voice softened. “The only time you called me was when you were drunk. I’m not going to put up with this anymore!”

“Then don’t! See if I care!”

Your breath hitched in your throat and your eyes welled with tears, convinced somebody had thrown a baseball at your chest. This wasn’t what you wanted, how could things have turned out like this?

“Fine,” you whispered.

You hung up before you could hear his reply, wiping at your eyes with the back of your hand. A strangled whine slipped through your lips as you tried not to sob, shoving your phone into your pocket. It buzzed insistently and it was undoubtedly Tom so you ignored it, making your way into the room you shared with your boyfriend. You pulled your belongings out of drawers, cupboards and off of shelves, breathing heavily as you shoved them all into bags and ignoring the tears that fell onto them.

You didn’t think you could stay in this apartment any longer than necessary. Calling up one of your closest friends, hoping that there would be a place for you to stay, you hoped you could get away this same night. Thankfully, there was. You quickly scribbled down a note, biting your lip as the wetness from your tears made it fold in a little bit before you threw it onto the bed. With a heavy heart, you were gone minutes later.

~

Tom swiped the palm of his hands down his face as he thought about what happened. He knew he had made the biggest mistake in his life. This would cost him more than money, it would cost him you. And that thought scared him.

He caught the first flight back home after the next couple of days, rushing back to your shared apartment, his heart on his sleeve and his bottom lip between his teeth. Tom took a deep breath, unlocking the door and pushing it open. His jaw fell slack when he noticed the emptiness of the apartment, making his way into the bedroom in case you were in there. You weren’t.

Tom’s heart fell to his stomach when he caught sight of the note, unfolding it and reading over it quickly. He let out a choked sob, his eyes instantly filling with tears as he sank to the floor and rest his elbow on the bed. Tom repeatedly red over the note, hoping that somewhere you would have written that this was all a stupid joke to get back at his idiocy. But he found no such thing and it made his heart shatter to think that you were really gone.

[summeryoongki]

85 Questions Game

85 Questions Game ~

i was tagged forever ago by my beautiful wife @sarangtaee i literally havent been on this blog in months sorry 

⇢ Rules: Answer these 85 questions about yourself and tag 20 people

Originally posted by mimibtsghost

⇢ Last:

Drink: diet Candada Dry

📱Call: i just ordered chinese food bih

Text Message: three upside down smiley face emojis by the one and only @sarangtaee

Song you listened to: Get on Your Knees by Nikki Minjaj ft. Ariana Grande

Time you 😢: Yesterday watching a documentary about Jonestown

⇢ Ever:

Dated someone twice: yes unfortunately

😘 someone and regretted it: nope

Been cheated on: yep

Lost someone special: by death? thankfully no. in other ways? yes

Gotten drunk and thrown up: no i took 6 jello shots the other day and felt absolutely nothing. one hit from a bong and im faded though explain that science

⇢ In the last year, have you:

Made new friends: yep! and im so happy for it. they are amazing

Fallen out of 💛: actually ive fallen for someone and it sucks

😂 until you 😢: yes

Found out someone was talking about you: yes but not negatively at least to my knowledge

Met someone who changed you: my new friends have made me happier and i like being alive again. id say that is a change

Found out who your friends are: yeah

😘 someone on your Facebook friends list: no, unfortunately

⇢ General:

How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them. I dont friend people i dont know or like

Do you have any pets: i have 3 kitties

Do you want to change your name: i do, id change it to luna

What did you do for your last 🎂: i literally dont remember

What time did you wake up today: 6 am

What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping

What is something you can’t wait for: to meet my soulmate. hopefully i can muster up the courage to tell him i like him

What are you listening to right now: Phil DeFranco tell me the news rundown

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah i used to work with a guy names tom, he was a hoot and definetly eccentric

Something that gets on your nerves: people that get in other peoples way, humans in general

Most visited website: snapchat and instagram

Hair color: natural medium brown with teal tips

Long or short hair: its medium short atm

What do you like about yourself: my creativity and adventurousness and my empathy

Want any piercings: i have many and id like a couple more

Blood type: A+

Nicknames: Micky, Kenzie, Kizie

Relationship status: single and pining after a boy who only sees me as a friend

Zodiac sign: Cancer Sun, Rising,/Leo Moon

Pronouns: i hate this question

Favorite 📺 show: if i had to choose 1 it would be the office

Tattoos: 2

Right or left handed: right but im kind ambidextrous 

Ever had surgery: ive had a few teeth taken out

Piercings: many

Sports: ew

Dream Vacation: south korea, japan, greece, hawaii

Trainers: what are you asking me? i had a personal trainer almost kill me, and i have sneakers?

Eating: fried rice

Drinking: water

I’m about to watch: jessie smiles

Waiting for: Myself to gain some courage to tell my co worker that i like him

Want: my coworker

Get married for: raw, real, supportive love

Career: id like to be a zoologist or an interior designer

Hugs or kisses: neither if they arent from my SO, both if they are

👄 or eyes: eyes, i love eyes. i draw them on everything and i love looking into the eyes of someone i love

Shorter or taller: taller. i like being the little 

Older or younger: dont care as long as i like them and they are responsible

Nice arms or stomach: i dont have either, on a guy? arms, *shvers* the guy i like has nice arms with some good subtle veins happenin

Hookup or relationship: relationship, i cant do hookups i got an old civil war era piece of equipment and thats all she wrote

Troublemaker or hesitant: im hesitant and troublemaker are annoying like the paul brothers

⇢ Have you ever:

😘 a stranger: no

Drank hard liquor: vodka? yes

Lost glasses: no

Turned someone down: yeah a couple times

Sex on first date: never

Broken someone’s ️❤️: perhaps?

Had your 💔: too many times, thats why i cant tell the guy i like him. im norma jean

Been arrested: no

😢 when someone died: yes ugh so many times, mostly book movie chatcters but also all those children at Jonestown

Fallen for a friend: yes story of my life

⇢ Do you believe in:

Yourself: no, thanks childhood!

Miracles: yep

💛 at first sight: yes bc i have experienced a version of this. the first time i saw my bestfriend walk through my 7th grade ancient civilizations class, i knew i had known her in a previous life, with absolutely no doubt

😘 on the first date: actually i dont know

Angels: maybe. i dont think they would have fluffy wings and halos though

⇢ Other:

Best friend’s name: im not sure thats for anybody else to know since one of them is @sarangtaee

Eye color: olive green

Favorite Movie: i have so many, harry potter, forest gump, matilda, Guardians of the Galaxy, X-Men and many more

Favorite actor: Evan Peters, Aubrey Plaza

Favorite Food: Japchae, Alfredo pasta, Fried Rice, Pizza, Deviled Eggs, Watermelon, Peaches, Cherries

Extrovert or Introvert: Introvert all the ways

Favorite flower: Daisies, lotus, Sunflowers, dahlias, foxgloves, moonflowers

Favorite Hello 🐈 characters: i dont know what this is asking me sorry

And i will not tag anyone since i barely use this account and i have almost no followers, why did i do this? well i guess i just like talking about myself 

[aurailia]

i was tagged by @likepotato so tysm!!

Last

drink: capri sun 😎

phone call: my mum bc she was supposed to be picking me up from college

text message: my friend jess

song you listened to: someone gets hurt (reprise) - mean girls musical

time you cried: idk actually

ever

dated someone twice: yeah lol

kissed someone and regretted it: yeah bc it was gross and slimy ):

been cheated on: no lol

lost someone special: yeah ):

been depressed: not diagnosed but im sad a lot

gotten drunk and thrown up: no lol

fave color: pinkkkk

in the last year have you

made new friends: i think

fallen out of love: only with fandoms

laughed until you cried: yeah lol -- just today actually

found out someone was talking about you: yeah but it’s fine bc we hate each other and i do the same to her (:

met someone who changed you: no lol

found out who your friends are: ig??

kissed someone on your facebook friends list: i kissed them before i got fb but we’re friends on it now tho if that counts?

how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: all of them bc im safe

do you have any pets: yeah!! A cat called lilly who’s a brat and i love her

do you want to change your name: aurelia would be nice but i’ll stick with jess

what did you do for your last birthday: well u see that was 4 months ago and idk what i did yesterday so -- i think we just had a barbeque and a sleepover bc i got a phone instead of a sweet sixteenth thing so

what time did you wake up today: like 7:40am idk

what were you doing at midnight last night: drawing and watching youtube

what is something you can’t wait for: death

what are you listening to right now: hung up - madonna

have you ever talked to a person named tom: yeah lol -- one’s an absolute mad lad, the other one’s a vegan -- very different people, still both cool tho

something that gets on your nerves: everything lol

most visited website: youtube

hair color: pink

long or short hair: shoulder length

what do you like about yourself: i got pink hair

want any piercings: yeah i want a septum piercing but my mum says no ):

blood type: idk actually

nicknames: jess, bunger, thot, jessicat

relationship status: Single

zodiac: taurus

pronouns: She/her

Fave tv shows: Brooklyn 99, Community, X files

tattoos: none but i want a little kitty paw

right or left handed: left

ever had surgery: yeah bc the top of my finger came off and they had to put it back on, also my eyelid split open once but i think they just glued that back together

piercings: earrings

sport: used to do gymnastics?? Occasionally went mountain biking and walking with parents and even less occasionally went canoeing with them -- started going to the gym tho recently

vacation: yeah i went to menorca with two of my friends in june

Trainers: have i ever trainers???? what????

more general

Eating: rn?? nothing - tho i want party rings ):

Drinking: nothing rn

about to watch: im watching ATLA rn so i can watch Korra bc it looks good

waiting for: bed

want: tbf another cat

want to get married:  idk actually

career: smthn artsy

which is better

hugs or kisses: hugs

lips or eyes: depends on the scenario

shorter or taller: i mean im shorter so short ppl are better but if i was going to date someone i want them to be taller than me

older or younger: ,,,????

nice arms or stomach: ???

hookup or relationship: relationship

troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker

have you ever

kissed a stranger: probably??? Im not too sure actually??? Not on the lips i dont think

drunk hard liquor: tastes gross so no

lost glasses: dont wear them

turned someone down: yeah lol

sex on first date: no lol im 16

broken someone’s heart: i wouldnt say i broke their hearts but i just didnt date them

had your heart broken: no lol

been arrested: not yet

cried when someone died: yeah )))::: movies and irl

fallen for a friend: yep but we were like 10?? But then it lasted on and off again for 3 years so,,,,,,

do you believe in

yourself: no lol

miracles: where you from, you sexy thing (honestly tho idk rly,,,)

love at first sight: imo if ur dating it should be for personality and u cant tell that at first glance so no

santa: no ):

kiss on a first date: if u want to sure

Angels: hm

others

best friend’s name: i dont wanna chose between them ): the two ive been friends with for the longest are called Elin and Charlotte

eye color: hazel (so like brown in the middle, green on the outside)

fave movie: uh,,,,, like idk?? What We Do In the Shadows is good, Bridge to Terabithia always makes me cry so that’s good

fave actors: i rly liked aubrey hepburn as a person if that counts?? Havent seen any of her movies yet though -- other than her tho, Chris Hemsworth is a gem, so is Anne Hathaway and Helen Mirren

I'm gonna tag @rainbowdovelove @gallium-plus-yttrium-equals-gay @my-therapist-took-my-superpowers @kissa-bear @legitimaterock @nev-e-r-m-i-n-d @yovngjustice

and like legit anyone who wants to do this just go for it man -- esp if we're mutuals!!