#havent thought about them in a minute but I still felt like I should add them hehe

[sleepis4theweak]

Came across this post the other day and realized I relate to it a bit more than I initially thought....

doomed siblings... save me doomed siblings...

[neteluvr-library]

i was actually half way done with this chapter before realizing i was on chapter 4 and not 3 so that explains why i was confused bc i was like where tf did the birthday scene go?

“Who is going to stop you?” you laugh, and the sounds reverberates through his body and settles deep in his soul. He’s heard this sounds countless times in the 14 years he’s known you. It never ceased to amaze him. 

If anyone thought this about my laugh i would have to marry them on the spot *dreamy sigh*

...feels a pang of hurt as he considers the fact you didn’t think of him when reading a book so close to your heart.

He's such a sensitive baby ):

“Ah, there is it.” You cleared your throat, then continued. “He is more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”

I LOVE THIS QUOTE SO MUCH. it's so lovely and warm. this quote plus the quote from cruel summer where vol says she doesn't know where she ends and neteyam starts are my absolute favorite. ITS SO ROMANTIC AND DREAMY AND I CANT COPE WITH HOW MUCH IT MAKES ME FEEL MUSHY ): to be so in love and love someone that you think you are the same ): I WANT THAT SO BAD IN MY LIFE...you have raised my standards for love. also i need to add pride and prejudice to my reading list but i am determined to finish emma first

“Pandora’s box.”, you thought to yourself, with a bitter chuckle.

Wow i too have a pandora's box full of memories and things i want to forget and avoid...except its in my brain

“Yeah, me and Max worried about that, but, Ace… you have weathered every storm life’s thrown at you like a champ and I think beyond this great unknown lays a future so bright it will be able to make this planet shift on its axis.”

I meant great for Atan...but Norm doesn't realize just because Atan has weathered many storms...does not mean she wants to weather another one 😭

You started poking your body in different spots and let out a small laugh at the feeling: it felt like touching soft metal.

I've always thought that the Na'vi have leathery like skin ? AM I THE ONLY ONE ??

You left the room smiling. You will make him eat his words, and you will enjoy every minute of it.

VERY VI CODED OF ATAN TO THINK THIS

“Damn, you’re hot this way, too. This is unfair, you know? But also somehow makes me feel better that it turns out I’m not into a different species altogether, just one girl.” 

I KNOW YOU HAVENT SEEN THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY BUT IF YOU EVER WATCH IT, LOAK IS SO JEREMIAH!!!! (if you reblog this and if any of your followers see this...please tell me im right.) AND NETEYAM IS CONRAD OHFUIEHFRFVJNVEN. and if you ever watch it andra, tell me im right too

Her stripes were somehow more accentuated than normal, and they reminded him of his own.

they are always connected somehow ): even in her avatar body, atan was meant to match neteyam. THEY ARE MADE OF THE SAME SOUL

“I don’t know you, Neteyam.”

YEAH BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK IS THE NETEYAM IN FRONT OF ATAN ACTING LIKE HE DOESNT LOVE HER WITH EVERY FIBER IN HIS BEING????

Your emotions impact her, your thoughts impact her, so you have to calm your mind.Easier said than done in your case, I fear.” 

I'm a basket case half the time so i would not be able to bond with any of pandora's animals lol

“Well, I want to be strong and capable so I can always protect you. I mean look at you, Tuk’s gonna be stronger than you soon.” 

NO HE DOESNT GET TO SAY THAT WHILE ACTING LIKE A COMPLETE ASSHAT....okay wait just realized this was a flashback MY BAD 😭 I SHOULD HAVE READ MORE CAREFULLY

Soon enough, you could taste the metal taste of blood that was lingering in the air and by the grace of whatever spirit was out there still looking after you, you felt yourself collapse in Neteyam’s arms. 

No because this was so sad ): atan just has straight trauma..but also this would a very traumatic thing to witness. like she already doesn't know her father and is iffy about him. but to see his bones abandoned in the forest like he didn't belong to anyone? ID BE SCARRED TOO...also this makes me very sad because its just *spoiler* another instance of where neteyam feels be only brings negativity to atan's life ):

OKAY ITS CURRENTLY....12:57. IM GONNA AIM TO FINISH CHAPTER 5 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WE'RE GETTING CLOSER TO THE JUICY STUFF.

Illicit Affairs | Chapter IV: Evermore

Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X

Synopsis: You and Neteyam both have to navigate a lot of painful memories on your first day in a new body

Warnings: angst, mentions of death, descriptions of ptsd flashbacks, cursing

Word Count: 6,2k words

A/N: Chapter 4 is the longest chapter I have written so far. There's definitely some fluff in there and some light hearted, beautiful moments, but it's also the darkest chapter I have written so far. There's some heavy stuff in there, so please read with caution! I wanted my characters to be well rounded and for there to be a good reason for every action they take; why the reader is a recluse, why Neteyam behaves the way he does, and why he left. There's layers to their story that will be unveiled through memories from both the main characters, so I hope you stick around to see where I plan to take this story <3 I never expected people to like it so much, and I hope you guys like what I have planned!

"I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone Trying to find the one where I went wrong And I couldn't be sure, I had a feeling so peculiar That this pain would be for Evermore"

“Am I allowed to be here?” Neteyam says, carefully taking in the new environment that he’s never wondered through before. It was small and dark, his eyes needing a second to adjust to the contrast from the bright neon orbs that illuminated the hallways. His nose scrunched up, trying to assimilate the smell, and realised it just smells like you. 

“Who is going to stop you?” you laugh, and the sounds reverberates through his body and settles deep in his soul. He’s heard this sounds countless times in the 14 years he’s known you. It never ceased to amaze him. 

You take off your Converse shoes and throw them carelessly to the side, jump on the bed and reach for the light on the other side of it, sitting on the bedside table. The lamp turns on and Neteyam finds himself having to adjust to the brightness once more. He settles on the chair that was accompanying a small messy desk, filled with papers, books and electronic tablets that had something you called a graph on it. The words “cell viability” were written on top of it, but Neteyam didn’t know what that meant, so he turned his attention to the many, many books that were displayed on the shelves above the desk. 

He’s seen some of them before, some of them multiple times, as you did seem to have your favourites. He picked one up he recognised. It was called Pride and Prejudice and Neteyam assumed it was written by a person named Jane Austen. He knew you loved this book, but he’s never asked why.

“I love that one…” you started.

“I know” he says in Na’vi. “I just don’t know why.”

“I honestly couldn’t tell you. My mum read me paragraphs from it growing up, and it’s just a book that brings me comfort. I’ve read it so many times, I’ve memorised it, so it’s like a blanket. It makes me feel safe.”

“What is it about?” Neteyam probed further.

You thought about it for a second. 

“It’s a story about two people who come from different worlds, and their journey of understanding each other and overcoming their feelings of, you guessed it, pride and prejudice towards one another and towards each other’s world.”  

He sat with this new information for a while. “So like us?” 

“Mmm, I don’t think it’s like us at all. I think it’s more about my mum and dad, or at least I think my mum thought of her and dad when reading it.”

Your words upset him, he realises in slight surprise. He looks at your figure sprawled over the bed looking up at the ceiling above you in contemplation and feels a pang of hurt as he considers the fact you didn’t think of him when reading a book so close to your heart.

“I have a quote from another book that reminds me of you, though.” Almost as if you read his mind, you turned your head towards him with a smirk and raised an eyebrow.

He didn’t look at you, a small pout erupting from his lips without meaning to. You laugh at him and smile endearingly, softly shaking your head. 

You jump from the bed, slightly wincing when your left leg registers the action, and click your tongue at him so he can move from where he was sat. He obliged and found another spot on the bed, which was now emanating the warmth of your body, and he slowly touched the blanket as if trying to commit the feeling to memory. You climbed on the chair with another small wince and found a book on the uppermost shelf. You jumped from the chair straight on to the bed and fell next to him. 

Patting the spot next to you, you signalled for him to lie down. He did, although his legs were completely off the bed, the tiny contraption barely able to accommodate his torso. You let out a small laugh, but seemed happy to have him so close. 

You placed your head on his chest, and he prayed you couldn’t hear the way his heart felt like it was trying to escape his ribcage at your proximity and warmth. You opened the book and looked for the quote. 

“Ah, there is it.” You cleared your throat, then continued. “He is more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” 

“Get the fuck out of my room, Neteyam.”

You had just finished washing the day off when you heard a small knock on the door. Still reeling from the fight, it was taking everything out of you to muster up the strength to open that door and deal with whatever was waiting on the other side. With a deep sigh, you did so anyway. It was surprising for you to find Jake peering at you from the other side of the open door, a curious look on his handsome face. 

“Hey kid. We’re going to get going now. I just wanted to talk to you for a second before hand. Can I come in?” 

You hesitated for a second, then moved so he could enter. 

“So..” He started awkwardly. “I don’t really know how to do this.” You saw his left hand reaching behind his head and scratching his scalp with a small laugh. 

His eyes drop to a little package he was holding, wrapped in the same sort of cloth as the other gifts had been. He didn’t look at you as he spoke.

“Your mum gave me this, a couple of weeks before she passed. She asked me to hold on to it and give it to your on your 18th birthday.”

Your breath stopped in your lungs. He peered at you with a sad look and handed you the little box. A small video camera, like the ones used to record the Avatar program video logs was now resting peacefully in between your hands. 

“I hope whatever’s on there will give you some peace of mind, kid. I know life’s not been kind to you, but it’s time… time to move on, you know?” 

He got up from his spot on the bed and silently made his way out of the room. “See you tomorrow?” 

With your back to him, you gave him a nod, and with that, he was gone, closing the door behind him.

You stood like that, in the same position, with the camera in your hand for a long enough time that your left leg was starting to ache, an ache that eventually overtook the one in your soul and with that, you took the camera and the bracelet you removed from Neteyam’s hands and shoved them both in the bottom drawer of your desk. “Pandora’s box.”, you thought to yourself, with a bitter chuckle. 

You woke up with a groan, and the meanest headache known to man. Yesterday felt like you did in fact have the biggest party this world has ever seen, and the hangover to match. You scrambled out of bed, still in the dark, and searched on top of your desk for the little bottle of Ibuprofen you keep for days just like this. Today’s the day…

Norm enters your room quietly, and is surprised to see you up already. “So nervous you couldn’t sleep?” He says with a tentative smile.

“Something like that.” 

“Hey…you’re happy about this, right? Tell me we haven’t done this for almost a decade for no reason, cause you know, we can’t just give someone else the Avatar.” he says, with an uncomfortable chuckle. 

“I’m happy, Norm. It’s just a lot to take in, you know? A lot is going to have to change, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I don’t tend to do well with change.” you response, laughing to yourself.

“Yeah, me and Max worried about that, but, Ace… you have weathered every storm life’s thrown at you like a champ and I think beyond this great unknown lays a future so bright it will be able to make this planet shift on its axis.” 

You throw your head back and laugh loudly, “Wow, that’s a lot of trust right there. I’ll try not to disappoint.” 

If only Norm knew… knew how you have not been able to brave any storm, and how the storms, in time, turned to tornadoes and then hurricanes and then bigger hurricanes and all you’ve done your whole life is just move further in to the middle of the shelter hoping that someday they’ll just go away by themselves and when they do, there’s still some walls, any walls, surrounding you. 

You put some of Grace’s old workout clothes on and made your way to the Avatar room and properly looked at it, probably for the first time in your life. You used to love coming here as a kid, looking at the scientists in their link pods, at your mum in hers, sitting in Max’s lap and watching the brain activity, bombarding him with questions with answers you couldn’t’ possibly comprehend yet. You’ve moved away from that fascination in time. Now here you stood, about to get your own linkpod and your own brain activity analysed. You peered in the room next to it, where on a big flat metal table lay a blue body, and you couldn’t help yourself from moving closer until your breath was so close to the window in was fogging up the glass. You placed a hand on the cold glass and stared at the new you, and a small smile appeared on your face. It was beautiful, more so than you ever thought your human form to be. Your heart picked up pace in your chest and you were shocked at the realisation that the nerves that you thought only reflected fear and anxiety, also reflected excitement. 

“It’s time.” Max said from somewhere behind you.

You turned and made your way with timid steps towards the linkpod. You climbed on it and the feeling of the green malleable foam woke up a memory inside you, that you fought to push back to where it came from. Now’s not the time. It was cold on your arms and thighs as you lay in it, but weirdly comfortable, like what you would imagine water mattresses you saw in old Hollywood movies to feel. 

Max placed a metal frame of sorts on top on your own and spoke slowly. “Okay, you know the drill, Ace. You have to relax and let your mind go blank. You will be disoriented when you wake up, so take your time in there and don’t rush. Please don’t do a Jake.” 

You chuckled at the story you’ve heard one too many times, but never seemed to get tired of it. 

“We will have to run tests to make sure everything is in order. This is new territory for all of us, and we don’t know how the Avatar will behave yet, so we will take our time and do it right.” 

“Aye aye, Captain.”

You did as you were told and found it hard to relax and let your mind go blank when it was running a million miles an hour with so many emotions, so many thoughts and worries. Still, with all your might, you sat there, and cleared your mind for a split second. It was enough. 

You woke up like from a dream, feeling groggy and tired. Your muscles hurt, a lot. You winced slightly at the gentle touch of a hand, which felt like that time you touched the inside of an electrical socket and got slightly electrocuted. You felt clothes clinging to your body and hated the way the synthetic fabric felt against your skin. You took your first breath and your nose crinkled in disgust at the overbearing smell of alcohol and chloride. 

“Ace? C’mon kid, there you go, you can do it.” 

You finally opened your eyes and groaned at the intense light on the ceiling. Your eyes took a while to focus, but when they did, you saw Norm staring back at you with a smile.

“Hi.” you said, with a deep frown and groggy voice. This was overwhelming. 

“Hi back! Take it easy, alright? Me and Claire will runs some tests to make sure everything’s a-okay. It will take about an hour, I know this whole experience can be a bit strange in the beginning, so hopefully this will ease you into it.”

Norm was a man of his word, and after about an hour of wiggling every part of your body, touching your fingers to your nose, remembering names of objects and repeating it to them, among other things, you were ready to go. You realise to your surprise that you’re excited about going outside. You couldn’t stand the sensation overload that came with being in this lab, in this body. You stood up gently and removed the chords that were still attached to you. You turned around to look at the glass that was reflecting your new figure back at you, and found yourself at a loss for words for the millionth time in 24 hours. It was such a strange feeling, and you knew it would take you a while to get used to looking in the mirror and be met with this. You smiled and waved, knowing Max would be watching you from behind the glass, even though you couldn’t see it. 

Norm handed you a bag, and you peered inside to find a beige loincloth and the top Neytiri gifted you yesterday. “Go change, I think you’ll feel better in these.” 

You did as you were told. Removing the white hospital garb you had on, you looked at yourself fore the first time, properly looked. You were tall. Very tall. And skinny, very skinny. Lean was probably a better word for it, as you couldn’t see an ounce of fat anywhere on your body. You started poking your body in different spots and let out a small laugh at the feeling: it felt like touching soft metal. You were strong. The thought made you happy. You looked again in the mirror at your face. Big yellow eyes looked at you curiously. They traced your nose, and your plump lips and your white freckles, beautiful like the night sky. Your eyes settled on your hair, long and soft and dark and your arm reached behind you to bring your braid into focus. You lifted it and looked in awe at the queue and the way the tendrils were moving on their own accord. Adrenaline was coursing through your veins like water breaking apart mountains to make a canyon of your mind. 

Neteyam’s words suddenly broke through.  “You’re not going to make it.” 

Adrenaline turned into rage and you hated it, hated the boy in that moment. Hated the effect his words had on you, even after so much time. You dressed slowly and tried to make sense of the “top” Neytiri gave you. Once you put it on, you looked back in the mirror and loved the way it looked on you. You also had a newfound appreciation for the soft feel of the feathers and the beads, and took note of the contrast between it and the unnatural feeling hospital gown you were in a few minutes ago. If it wasn’t for your eyebrows and your five fingers and your soft, straight hair, you wondered if anyone could be fooled into thinking you are, in fact, Na’vi. 

“You know nothing about the real world.” 

Dropping the clothes in the bag provided, you took one last look at yourself and saw something in your eyes that wasn’t there before. Determination. The sick, stubborn determination that has always made you push out all reason as soon as someone tells you you can’t do something. 

“Tell Norm no.”

You left the room smiling. You will make him eat his words, and you will enjoy every minute of it.

You reached for the mask packs by the entrance and dropped your hand. You will never have to wear that damn mask again, you thought with satisfaction. As you stood outside, it felt again like emerging in your avatar body for the first time. So many sounds, colours, sensations flooded your being and you couldn’t even register the voice yelling your name until the person that spoke it took you by the shoulders. You hissed at the sudden contact and it shocked you. Where did that come from? 

“Angel, you there?” 

“Give her a second, Lo’ak. This is bound to overwhelm her and you yelling at her isn’t going to speed up the process.”

“I can’t believe she just hissed at me.” 

The world slowly seemed to settle around you, and you focused you sight on the boy in front of you… the boy who was now your height.

“Lo’ak?” 

“Hey, you.” The younger Sully boy gave you a big smile and eyed you intently up and down a few times. “Damn, you’re hot this way, too. This is unfair, you know? But also somehow makes me feel better that it turns out I’m not into a different species altogether, just one girl.” 

You laughed, really laughed. Lo’ak was a charmer, another one of the many many traits he inherited from his dad. 

“You’re shorter than I thought you’d be.” 

“Ouch.” You knew he wasn’t really offended, so you blew a kiss towards him and shifted your attention to the world, that you realise you have never seen before. Not properly. Its beauty left you speechless. You don’t know how you were supposed to function when all you wanted to do is just walk around, smelling the flowers. 

“We have to get going, you’re going to start your training today, and your new boss is not going to be happy if you’re late.”

“My new boss?”

“Yep. Neteyam has been given the tough job of taking your lab ass and turning it into a Na’vi warrior. I have to say, I don’t envy him,  and I definitely don’t envy you.” 

“Lo’ak, shut up.” 

Well, this is going to be fun… You had a hunch Neteyam would have to train you, as Lo’ak is too young and restless and cares about the rules too little, or not at all, to do it, but hearing it as a fact made you shudder. You haven’t spent a whole day with Neteyam in years, and you didn’t particularly care for this new-and-improved version of himself. You wondered silently how this was going to go. If the last two interactions are anything to go by, you were not in for a happy time.  

“Lo’ak should be here any second. I want you to start training her right away. Maybe start with the Pa’li first, and do bow training when that gets too much. You won’t really have to teach her the language, but try to make sure you talk in Na’vi more than in English, and this way you’ll see if there are any gaps in her knowledge and address them. Neteyam, are you listening?” 

The oldest Sully sibling was only half paying attention to what his dad was telling him. In truth, he was scared half to death. He didn’t want to do any of this. This is not how any of this was supposed to go. He couldn’t be around you. He didn’t want to be around you and he most definitely didn’t want to have to teach you the ways of the Na’vi and have to put his own training and responsibilities aside for this. He has already had to teach Lo’ak whenever his parents had better things to do and he was getting so fucking tired of being used as soon as it was convenient for other people. 

He pushed the bitter feelings aside. His parents relied on him for a reason, he tried to remember. They relied on him because they trusted him, and because he fought hard to be worthy of that trust. He had no right to complain, not when he knew how much worse it could be… for better or for worse, at least he had parents to rely on him. The thought made him sad, and he felt guilt at the words he spat at you yesterday. He knew they were for the greater good, but he also knew they crossed a line, a line that he might not be able to cross back from. 

He didn’t have time to think about the consequences of his actions, as he heard a yell that pulled him out of his thoughts and he knew it was time to come face to face with his worst nightmare. 

“We’re here!”, screamed Lo’ak, and Neteyam suppressed the urge to roll his eyes at his immature younger brother. 

He made his way outside of the tent, picking up his knife and placing it on the sheath resting beneath his chest. He took a deep breath, one that got lodged in his throat.

Next to Lo’ak was a girl. The most beautiful girl he has ever laid his eyes on. Her stripes were somehow more accentuated than normal, and they reminded him of his own. It was something he was insecure about growing up, the deep contrast something his friends and even family teased him about relentlessly, but now, looking at it on her, he realised they were blind - he was blind - to have ever hated them. Her eyes were now yellow, a big departure from her human eyes, and although it was strange, just like the rest of her, they still felt familiar to him. Like no matter what body she inhabited, her soul would always shine through, always calling out to him like a moth to a flame. He knew then he’d always feel like this about her, for the rest of his life, no matter what she looked like. Fuck.

“Look at you, kid! You look like you belong already!” 

Jake’s voice cut through the tension that you felt sitting here, being eyed at like you were a new cub at the zoo. The stares made you so uncomfortable you felt like you were going to explode, and could not wait until this was no longer a novelty to anyone, including yourself. 

“Thank you, Jake. For everything. I cannot express how grateful I am that you and Neytiri, and the tribe, are so willing to accept me in the village.” 

“No problem, kid. Anyway, we will have plenty of time to discuss everything tonight at dinner, but for now I think you and Neteyam should head off. There’s a lot to learn.”

“Right.” You turned around and gave a half-smile to Lo’ak, who looked at you like you were a deer in headlights. Maybe you did look how you felt. 

You bid a small goodbye to everyone and suddenly found yourself face to face with the only person you didn’t want to see. 

He started walking without saying a word, and you followed him. You refused to say anything to him, there was nothing to say to him after yesterday. Before yesterday, you might have demanded an explanation, you might have demanded he told you what happened to him in the year he abandoned you, what lead to him leaving without a single word, how dare he forget about what he meant to you and what you knew you meant to him, how could he just forsake you like you were nothing; you would have screamed at him and told him you hated him without meaning it and hoped he would just hug you and told you he’s sorry, that he was stupid and that he’ll never leave you again. None of that came out. You were past that. He crossed a line and you knew it in your mind that no explanation would be enough, no excuse would justify his behaviour enough to satisfy you and make you forget. Not anymore. 

His back was to you as he was leading you away from the Sully tent, and for the first time in your life, you saw him for what he was. A leader, a warrior. He was lean and muscular, and his physique reminded you a lot more of Jake than a Na’vi man’s. His shoulders were broader and his arms were bigger, leading to a more accentuated contrast between them and his waist, and you hated yourself for how it made you feel, how your mouth filled with saliva you had to force yourself to swallow and how your pulse increased so rapidly it almost made you dizzy. He was taller than you, taller than Lo’ak and you knew that even in this body, he would still tower over you. You definitely hated how that made you feel. 

He stopped at the entrance to a tent. He opened the flap of the entrance and motioned for you to enter. You obliged without a word. He followed you in and closed the flap behind him. You didn’t like being in such close proximity, but you knew you’d have to get used to it, so you let it go.

“This is now your tent. Mum and Dad thought you would feel more comfortable with your own space. They also thought you’d like my old training bow. There’s a pouch for your knife that you can put around your torso and I have the knife, but I won’t give it to you until I make sure you won’t kill me with it.” 

As far as an attempt to diffuse an awkward situation goes, this wasn’t half bad. Still, not nearly good enough to matter. He sighed at the lack of response.

“Right. I think we have to get a few things straight.”

Your eyebrow raised, but you let him go on.

“I know you’re mad. I know you’re so mad you’re probably thinking of ways of sticking needles in my eyes. But I don’t care. I was given a responsibility to take care of you and to teach you. I know you think you know everything, but you don’t. I know you think you know this world, but you don’t. Not in the way you need to, to survive. There’s a reason no scientist living on Pandora has ever become one of the people. You can’t see. As my grandma always says, “you cannot fill a cup which is already full”. I know you. Your cup is overflowing. From now on, you do what I say. Pretend you don’t know me, pretend we’re not you and me.” 

“I don’t know you, Neteyam.”

He winced inside at the words. “That’s enough!” He said, forcefully. 

“You answer to me from now on and I want to make sure you understand that. Dad will skin me alive if anything happens to you. You will listen and you will do as I say. Whatever issues you have, you’re going to have to deal with them in your own time.” 

Another blow below the belt, you thought, and reminded yourself that you were here for a reason, you were here to make him eat his words, and if he wanted to play his game this way, you were more than happy to beat him at it. 

“Yes, Sir.” 

You made your way out of the village and walked in silence through the woods. You were looking at the bow in your hand, and carefully traced every mark and scratch on its surface. You couldn’t help wonder about what events in Neteyam’s life lead to each and every one of them, and vowed to yourself that you would take care of this bow with your life, if not for anything else, for the still untarnished memory of that little boy you once loved so much. Once you reached a large clearing, with beautiful lush greenery and a majestic waterfall, you thought this was definitely a much better view for training than the reagent-filled benches of the lab. You saw about half a dozen Pa’li peacefully feeding off the sweet nectar of flowers in the distance, and smiled gently at the sight. You will never get used to it, you knew. 

“First step to being a Na’vi, learning to form Tsaheylu and learning to ride the Pa’li.” Neteyam spoke in Na’vi over the soothing sounds of the forest.

“OK.” You answered shortly.

“In Na’vi. We speak Na’vi from now on.”

“Kurkung (asshole).” Neteyam shoots you a dirty look and you can’t help but smirk. “What? That’s Na’vi. Perfect pronunciation, by the way.” 

His mouth tightened in a straight line and he left you, busying himself with a Pa’li he called over. He caressed it gently and held his hand next to his eye, whispering. 

“Tam tam, Tirea, tam tam.” 

“Get on.” He spoke to you still looking at the Pa’li. 

Even in this body, the direhorse was significantly taller than you, and you shot Neteyam an incredulous look. Regardless, you made your way to the animal and with all of your might, willed yourself to get on top of it. It took a couple of tries, but you eventually succeeded. You were stronger than you realised, and you were excited to discover exactly how strong you could become in time. 

Neteyam gently took the neural whip of the direhorse and guided it to you. You took it in your right hand and stared at it in amazement. You have heard so much about this, you have seen it firsthand with Neteyam’s Ikran, but to know you will now have to make your own Tsaheylu, experience this deep bond you knew everything and yet nothing about, it was terrifying. You left hand went behind your head and brought forward your own queue. This was it. Slowly, you brought the two together, and held tightly on to the Pa’li as the new sensation overwhelmed all of your senses. It felt like all of your neurons were firing at the same time. It felt like you were being electrocuted. As the feeling subsided, you felt a breath that was moving at the same time as your own, you felt a second heartbeat that was going much faster than yours possibly could, and you tried to calm yourself down as you knew the nervousness the animal felt was mirroring your own. Neteyam allowed you a second to experience this for yourself with no interruption, and you appreciated that. He trusted you enough to give you some space, and with everything, at least this hasn’t changed.

“This is Tsaheylu. The bond. Take some time to feel her, feel her heartbeat, her breath. Feel her strong legs. You can tell her what to do, inside your mind. Remember that as you can feel her, she can feel you, too. Your emotions impact her, your thoughts impact her, so you have to calm your mind.Easier said than done in your case, I fear.” 

You felt your anger pick up and the Pa’li let out a scream and rose on its hind legs, throwing you straight in the dirt. Neteyam laughed, but came to help you get up. As you were removing mud from your face and hair and cursing all manners of profanities under you breath, you came to the bitter realisation this was going to be harder than you thought, especially with him as your teacher. 

He still knew you too well. You slapped his hand away and got up by yourself, indignantly. You jumped back on the Pa’li and tried your very, very best, to calm yourself before making the bond. The horse didn’t react as violently as last time, so you figured you were off to a better start. You calmed your mind as much as you could, like you did in the linkpod, and imagined her slowly moving forward. You smiled when she did just that, no words needed. It was hard to be able to maintain your composure when you were LITERALLY mind controlling another living being, but despite it needing active continuous effort, you felt you were doing a good job. You managed to make her go, sprint, gallop and turn, and despite the direhorse’s best efforts, you were somehow still tightly attached to its back. 

After a couple of hours, Neteyam told you to get off. He told you to follow him, and he took off, not sparing you a second glance. You followed him the best you could for a while, desperately trying to overlook how uncomfortable being barefoot made you feel. You didn’t like it at all, and more and more, you felt your heartbeat picking up in your chest and your knees shaking. You felt beads of sweat getting in your eyes and they stung, so you stopped. Your laboured breath became shallow, and your hands were shaking uncontrollably as you raised them to wipe your forehead. You felt your knees collapse under you, and you knew what was about to happen and that it was too late to stop it. 

“Neteyam, wait up.” You called after the blue boy, slight panic in your voice.

“I thought we were supposed to be racing.” 

“You win, alright? Don’t leave me alone in the woods.” 

You saw Neteyam jogging back to where you stood with a guilty look on his face. “You know I’d never leave you alone.”

He picked you up and placed you on his back. “After 16 years, have I ever left you alone?” 

“Well, you’ve been training a lot recently and I barely get to see you anymore, so I would say yes, you leave me alone plenty, more than I can say I care for.” 

“Well, I want to be strong and capable so I can always protect you. I mean look at you, Tuk’s gonna be stronger than you soon.” 

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” You pretended to ignore his first sentence and how it lit your entire body on fire. 

You walked like this for a while. You placed your head on his shoulder and peered up at the tall trees. Prolimuris were swinging on them, picking up fruits as they went along. You saw two infants following their mother and stopping on the same branch as her, where she passed them what you were sure was a tasty afternoon snack. You smiled contently at the scene, and at the feeling of warmth Neteyam provided. 

“Put me down, I want to walk! I came with you to exercise, not be carried like a tiny Pandoran baby.” 

He did as you asked, huffing at your forever mercurial temper. 

With your back still to him, you let out a laugh and started running. “Race you to the clearing in the distance?” 

He rolled his eyes, and with a laugh, stopped himself. He always gave you a head start. “Fine, but you can’t get mad when I beat you again!” 

You turned around to give him a smile as you were running and loved the feeling of the ground beneath your feet. The only place you could run around barefoot, the only time you still felt alive. 

You came to an abrupt halt when your foot touched something strange, something unnatural. You slowly looked at your feet and froze in place as the smooth pale object made your blood run cold. It couldn’t be. You stepped away from it, not leaving it from your view and slowly, deliberately knelt down next to it. You heard Neteyam coming to a halt behind you, but couldn’t bring yourself to acknowledge his presence. Your hands started digging in the ground with morbid curiosity and the sounds around you became muffled as your erratic heartbeat was the only thing you could still hear. You removed the ground around it and tears formed in your eyes at the realisation that this was indeed what you feared it was: a human skull. A human skull you just stepped on. Before you knew it, your hands were reaching for a glimmer of silver shining in the shallow grave. You lifted it to your eye line and heard yourself scream, wail louder than you ever had before. The panic that overtook you was primal, but not unfamiliar and you threw the dog tag on the ground, with enough force you hoped would bury it further than anybody would ever be able to dig. You couldn’t see properly anymore, the tears and dizziness flooding your senses and you prayed you passed out, prayed to make this stop, prayed you were back in your room where your Xanax always lay by your bedside table. In a blind rage, you were clawing at your feet, trying to remove the dirt, remove the skin that stepped on your dad’s dead body like it was a gum wrapper on the pavement. Soon enough, you could taste the metal taste of blood that was lingering in the air and by the grace of whatever spirit was out there still looking after you, you felt yourself collapse in Neteyam’s arms. 

Tag list: @nuhteyam @eywas-heir @fanboyluvr @mashiromochi

[goldenempyrean]

Professor Romanoff Pt2

Hey :) This took far longer then it should’ve done, very sorry about that. I hope everybody likes this part. There was going to be a pt3 but i ended up combining them. I have some requests still backlogged so I’m gonna get those done soon as well

•CW• THERES A SCENE OF VOMITING IN HERE, ITS NOT TOO DETAILED DW BUT JUST BE AWARE THAT ITS THERE (Im gonna mark the paragraph with a ‘⋐’ symbol so feel free just to skip over it!), theres also more swearing in this then my usual mumbo jumbo, if I need to add anything else lmk ;) Note: I havent edited this well, i’ll fix it later :)

Summary: Nat’s pushing herself way too far and when you’re there to hold her close. The sparks of your feelings burst into flames. Wordcount: 3761

Read Pt1 Here

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Natasha couldn’t help but sigh as she stood woozily over the sink in the faculty bathroom, as that one moment replayed in her mind. That one moment as you walked away. The way your hair swished carefully at your shoulders, the way your body curved as you took your perfect strides towards the exit leaving her in absolute awe. Everything about you was perfect… Shit.

She hadn’t even realised just how hard she had fell for you. Now if she’d have known the effect you would have on her, Natasha never would’ve allowed you to get this close. She wanted exactly what she would never be able to have. I’m such an idiot…

Natasha leant down towards the sink as she splashed the cool water against her burning face as she sniffled. Sighing again as she looked over her pasty complexion in the mirror infront of her. Her forehead was damp with feverish sweat as she took slow breaths, trying to control her racing thoughts.

Just another few hours. Thats all it was. All she had to do was get a faculty meeting over and done with. Then she’d be able to go home. Home. Natasha never thought herself as a person to miss their home but as she stood weakly over the sink, she couldn’t help but long to be back in the safety and comfort of her room. Wrapped in the safety and comfort of your arms…

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By the time Natasha had gotten home it was almost 11pm. The meeting ended up running over by a mile. When she finally stumbled into her apartment, Natasha was burning up with her fever. Her apartment seemed to spin around her as she staggered towards her room. Stepping into her empty room, Natasha’s heart sank seeing her bed empty, just as it always was. She didn’t know why but she had half expected you to be sat there, just waiting for her to arrive back home. Idiot. How could she miss you when you weren’t even hers? She didn’t have long go dwell on the matter however. Moments later her tummy gave an irritated growl, a wave of nausea rushed over her as she struggled to fight back her gag as the contents of her stomach churned.

⋐ Fuck, fuck, fuck! Natasha bolted into the small bathroom which connected to her room. She didn’t have time to plaster her hair back before she began to heave into the bowl of the toilet, gagging as the remains of her lunch made their way up her throat. The moment seemed to last forever, just when she’d thought she was finished another wave came upon her. By the time she had finally finished Nat was exhausted. She slumped against the side of her shower, sliding herself onto the floor, the cool tiles felt amazing against her burning skin so she just led there, her face pressed to the floor. Now Nat knew it was gross, but at this point she just didn’t care anymore. She’d been dealing with feeling like utter crap all day, there was no point in trying to act prideful now. Deep down Nat she knew that she should probably get up, push herself up from the floor and get herself cleaned up and crawl into the comfort of her bed, but she just couldn’t. Her muscles felt weak and fatigued, slowly as she resisted the urge to move the room gradually grew darker around her. Maybe just another 5 minutes wouldn’t hurt…

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Nat awoke that morning to…silence? Her apartment was completely silent. Natasha hadn’t even realised that she was still laying on the cold floor of her bathroom until she pushed herself upright. How she’d even managed to fall asleep there was beyond her, the floor was far from comfy despite the fact it felt great against her skin. Nat slowly stood up, gripping the sink for support as she steadier herself. Looking up and at the mirror Nat grimaced as she took in her sickly appearance.

God she looked like crap. Hell, she felt like it too. She looked out and into her room, gazing at her still bed, longing to curl herself beneath the sheets. No, she had to go into work today, she had things to do, students to teach. She needed to see you again.

Thinking of work, she didn’t even know what the time was. Natasha quickly turned to the sink and cleaned herself up. She carefully made her way into her room only to near jump out of her skin as she saw the time on her small alarm clock.

10:20AM?!

“SHIT!” She hissed aloud, only it ignited the burn at the back of her throat causing her to break into a fit of coughing and splutters. Scrambling over to towards her drawers she was pulling out the first things which she grabbed. Luckily enough the outfit seemed to match and Natasha hastily pulled it on, throwing her sweat-drenched clothes from the previous night onto the floor beneath her. Within 10 minutes Natasha had managed to get herself somewhat ready. She gave herself a final look over in her hallway mirror, cringing internally at the greasy hair which hung sloppily by her shoulders. There wasn’t time to deal with this now.

She was so focused on getting out on time, she almost forgot to lock her apartment door as she raced out and towards the elevator. Once in the lobby she didn’t have the time nor strength to give her usual chippy greeting to the kind receptionist at the desk, instead she hurried past almost walking into the automatic door itself when it didn’t open instantaneously.

Nat quickly located her car and hopped it, silently cursing at the time as it popped on the car’s small electronic screen. 10:35. Her lecture had started 15 minutes ago… Nat mumbled a string of profanities as she sped out of the parking lot. Speeding off towards the direction of the campus.

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“Seriously again?” You quietly said under your breath, tapping your foot impatiently as the time ticked by. The feeling seemed to be mutual with the rest of your classmates. The same uneasy conversations began again, this time people seemed to be more annoyed rather then confused. There was a slight motion in the back of your head however that you couldn’t quite shake, was this your fault? You couldn’t help but wonder if your interaction yesterday had somehow deterred her to the point where she didn’t even want to come into her own lecture.

There was a slight guilt that washed over your thoughts as you tapped your pencil against the side of your open notebook. There was a part of you hoping that Nat wouldn’t show, hoping that you wouldn’t have to face looking her in the eyes. No. You had to see her, you needed too see her. Your slight feeling of guilt soon blossomed into a overwhelming concern as Natasha had still not shown. Two days in a row, something really wasn’t right. The supposed lesson crept by as time passed with no sign of Nat showing. There was only 20 minutes left now, was she really not going to show up?

A rapid flush of cold air swooped into the room as the main door to the hall swung open. An exhausted-looking Nat slowly dragged herself to the centre of the hall and slumped down at the chair behind her desk.

“Natasha?” You whispered quietly, purely out of shock and concern. For lack of words, she looked terrible. Not only did it look like she had barely slept, her forehead looked damp with beads of sweat. It was a mystery how she had even managed to walk around the classroom nevermind drive the whole way here in that condition, the reason for her lateness suddenly making a whole lot of sense now. “Just a cold” She had said… Lair.

“Get out your books please.” Nat’s voice came out in raspy string of words, “Just revise… Or something like that… Hh’tushhoo!”

“Professor?” Somebody spoke out, breaking the awkward silence which had fallen on the room.

Natasha barely looked up from where her head rested in her hands, she responded to the student with a congested mumbled of incoherent words she said before looking up only to wince as the light shone into her eyes. The student stayed silent for a moment resulting in an annoyed snap from Nat, “Well?”

The hissed tone of her voice irritated her raw throat, causing her to muffle a series of crackly painful sounding coughs into her elbow.

“N-Nevermind.” The student stuttered, clearly changing their mind about asking questions upon seeing how much the professor was out of it.

Now Nat usually had a strict no-talking policy during her lessons but she didn’t even seem to care anymore as the uneased students began talking amongst themselves. The loud bell rang in the hallway and people hurriedly packed away, many not daring to look at their professor as they rushed from the hall.

Collecting the last of your things, you threw your small backpack over your shoulder before slowly making your way to Nat’s desk, where she was sitting with her hand resting on her arms facing the table.

“You can sit down.” Nat looked up with a tired croak, quickly adding, “Only if you want too.”

You sighed, trying to mask your growing concern, “Of course I want too.” You kept your tone soft as you sat down, not wanting to aggravate the obvious headache she’d been suffering through, “Nat. Did I… Can we talk?” You stumbled over your words, struggling to find the right ones.

She looked up at you, finally bringing her hand from her hands for the first time since she’d entered the room, “I wanted to talk too.” She began but cut herself off, holding up her finger to pause the convosation, “Hh’heptsshoo! Hi’tshhhoo!” Natasha’s hair fell messily infront of her eyes and you had to resist the demanding urge to fix it for her, “Sorry…” Her hoarse voiced trailed off as she sniffled thickly, scrunching her nose as the relentless itch persisted.

“Bless you.” You cooed, allowing a undertone of comfort to seep into your words. You longed to hold her, to assure her she’d be fine. Your heart dropped at the thought of her spending the night alone in her condition, “You really shouldn’t be up and about with a bug like that.” You chided her lightly, keeping your voice soft.

“Im fine darling.” Your heart fluttered as you heard sound of her hoarse voice whispering the petname, “Its just some sniffles dear.” She cleared her throat as her words scratched against her aching red throat.

“We both know that not exactly true- bless you, bless you.” You blessed her kindly again as Natasha failed to stifle another set of sickly sounding sneezes, “You sound terrible, why did you come in today?” You let your hands rest of the table infront of you and to your surprise Natasha outstretched hers and cupped them within her own. Is this really happening?

“You worry too much.” Nat tried to assure you but her efforts were shallow, she cleared her throat again before asking, “Can we talk about… us?”

You shifted in your seat at the verbalisation of your complicated relationship. There was nothing more then you wanted than to be with Natasha. She was perfect. Now with Natasha mentioning the feeling between the pair of you, could this be real? Could this really happen?

“I was wanting to talk about that too.” You admitted, gazing longingly into her glassy green eyes, for a moment you swore you could see something in them, “What exactly are-

“Hhi’tshh! Hh..h’ischiew! Hhup’sssh!”

Nat’s head ducked down into her elbow as she failed to control her sniffling nose, she tried to apologise but broke off into of rather unpleasant coughing. Before you knew what you were doing you had already rushed around to her side of the desk and was running your hand down her back in soft circles as she came down from her fit.

Once she’d finally regained her breath Natasha leant back against you, her body exhausted seemed to move without thought, sinking into your warmth as her feverish body was wracked with chills. The feeling of concern only grew and Nat began to mumbled something against you. An idea slipped into your mind so you hesitantly hovered your hand above her forehead, silently asking for permission. Receiving a small nod from Nat you laid your hand upon her forehead, frowning as the heat radiating from her feverish head met your skin.

“Mmmh, you feel amazing.” Nat muttered, her shaky hand reached up and she rubbed her thumb against your cheek.

Oh Jesus. A burning redness embraced your cheeks, and the weight of your feelings truly sunk in. So… This is what love really felt like.

Your feelings seemed to distract you and had you had failed to notice Natasha shift from her position as she begun to stand. You stepped back, allowing her room when her knees suddenly gave way, sending her stumbling backwards, back into your hold.

“Woah woah. Easy there sweetie.” The petname slipped from your mouth like silk as you steadied her on her feet, “We should get you home. You’re in absolutely no condition to be here right now.” The concern and worry you were feeling clouded your mind, you had almost completely forgotten on why you had came over to speak in the first place. Whatever, that could wait. What mattered now was Natasha.

By the time your mind had registered what you were doing, you were already in the process of gathering Natasha’s things, packing them into her bag before pulling it over your back, insisting that you carry it for her. “Cmon. I promise I’m gonna get you home Natty.”

You were certain you saw the hint of a smile of her face as you called her that. You couldn’t be 100% sure as her face switched before she sneezed twice, sniffling afterwards but you swore that you’d seen it.

“You okay to walk?” You lowered your voice, almost as if the question was deeply personal. You let Nat think for a moment and when it became clear that she was too out of it to make a decision you took matters into your own hands, whispering sweet nothings as you helped her out of the hall and down the corridors towards to the entrance of the campus, not caring who saw. You instructed her to take a seat on one of the small benches, pulling out your phone to order a taxi. No way were you letting her drive in her condition.

A gust of icy wind swept through sending chills down Nat’s spine. You instinctively wrapped your arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer into your warmth. Natasha sank into your warmth as the pair of you waited for the taxi to arrive. You elected to remain silent, the only sound being that of Nat’s persistent sniffles.

It wasn’t too long before a car pulled into view, rolling down its window and calling your name. You jumped up, making sure to be ready to support Nat. You were glad you did when she her foot got caught, almost sending her flying forwards as she tripped. “You look drunk.” You joked lightly, trying to spare her the embarrassment.

“‘m dizzy,” She offered a semi coherent explanation as she made her way to the car, sinking into your support arms which graciously supported her body. Natasha ducked into the car, you weren’t sure wether to climb beside her but Nat spoke up softly, “Don’t feel pressured to come. You’ve already done more then enough.” Her voice was frail as she spoke, assuring you she didn’t need you to come any further but her eyes screamed another story, deep down she longed for you. Her fevered mind was racing with thoughts that she just couldn’t voice no matter how much she wanted too. You’d made her a promise and you wasn’t going to break it.

“When I said I’m taking you home, I meant it.” You climbed into the opposite side, pleasantly surprised when Nat leant against you mumbling something you couldn’t quite hear, “Now, where am I taking you?”

It took her a moment to think, before she croaked out the address of her apartment. The car began to move, the jolty road doing little ease her discomfort. You heard her moan as the car dipped inti a pothole causing her to bang her head into the side of the window, “You wanna lean this way?” You offered, shifting you shoulder so she’d be more comfortable.

Nat accepted this offering and she rested her body against you. She’d been doing this a lot today and each time it never failed to cause a storm of butterflies in your stomach. She was Natasha Romanoff. THE Natasha Romanoff. The infamous Black Widow. She was the ultimate soy, regarded worldwide for her skill and here she was laying against you, it felt like nothing else mattered more in the world. Yet in the back of your mind, there was a small dreaded thought that you just couldn’t face. Nat had a fever right? What if shes not thinking clearly, what if when shes finally back to feeling her usual self this relationship ends here. Had you been looking too deep into things? What if to her, you were just a friend… What if just another student to her?

You had to be sure. Eventually the car pulled up too a large fancy-looking apartment complex. Huh this must be where she lives when shes not at the compound. You got out of the car to open the door for the exhausted woman who was having trouble even pulling herself from the comfy leather seat of the taxi.

“Lets go you inside.” You encouraged her lightly, thanking the driver of the taxi as you closed the door.

“You’re amazing.” Nat muttered against you as you crossed the road to the entrance of the building.

Somebody from inside seemed to have saw you and came rushing out to the doors. Nat recognised the faint figure of the kind receptionist from earlier that morning. She seemed panicked at Nat’s state of health, insisting that she take her inside.

“Thank you, but I’ve got this.” You fake smiled and tried to assure the woman that you were both perfectly fine and didn’t need her help. She seemed almost offended by this, pulling Nat slightly inside.

Nat didn’t even seem to realise what was happening, her mind was far too clouded. All she did know that she was being slowly pulled away from you. She could make out your shocked face, why was this woman pulling her away. Why was she leaving you? …No!

Even in her fevered state Natasha easily broke free of the woman’s grasp, swinging herself around to knock the back of the woman’s knees, sending swiftly her to the ground, just hard enough to not cause her any harm. You heard the annoyed scoff of the receptionist who had quickly shuffles back away to the safety of her desk, as Natasha swayed woozily, the whole ordeal seeming to zap any of her remaining energy.

“Natty!” You called out, running up to her, wrapping your arms around her. You couldn’t stop the words spilling from your mouth as you held her close, “Natasha. I cant stay silent anymore. Nat I think- No. I know, I lov-“

Natasha was trying her best to listen, trying to fight the fog in her mind as you talked. Just as you began to say your final statement her nose began to twitch, “Hh’tshoo!”

“…you.” You admitted, almost shaking as much as she was as you poured out your feelings.

Nat was in shock. Had she heard you correctly? No. No. No. This was just her sadistic mind trying to trick her. There was no way she’d be tricked again. No… ‘I love you?” No! You must’ve said “bless you” and she’d misheard you… unless?

Her mind couldn’t comprehend what you’d said, she let out a small, “Oh.” Unsure of what to say in response.

Oh?! What was that supposed to mean?!

There silence was deafening as you both stared at each other, both of you unsure of what to say. Nat’s teeth began to chatter slightly despite her raging fever. It was then you decided to move, you cupped her burning face within your soft palm before leaning in and softly kissing her cheek.

Nat smiled. She felt dizzy, though this time for a different reason, an array of butterflies fluttered around as your gentle lips kissed her. She almost lost herself in the moment entirely. “Y/N.” She moaned softly as you pulled away, leaving your faces blushed a scarlet red.

“Can we really do this?” You whispered, as Natasha reached with a single hand to hold your own.

“We can make it work.” Nat responded through her smile. She didn’t hesitate for a moment before taking her other hand and placing it on the back of her hair, gently holding you as she pressed her lips against yours.

Fireworks. That was the only work to describe the emotions you felt in that moment. It seemed to never end but Nat had to pull away to muffle a series of coughs.

“You should probably head up to bed.” You spoke quietly, still concerned with her current state of health, “Go and sleep this off. You shouldn’t come in until you actually feel better.”

“Im fine sweetie.” There it was again, hearing the familiar petname made your heart almost skip a beat, “It sounds worst then it fee- Hh.Hnngxt! H...Hhep’tshoo!”

“Bless you.” You cooed and stepped inside to follow Natasha, “Well you sound lke you feel terrible to me so what we’re going to do is; get you inside, run you a cool shower so we can get that fever of yours down and then we’re going your to get more much earned rest. Im going to look after you Nat. How does that sound?”

“…That sounds perfect darling.”

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taglist: @karmasgxrl @midnight-lestrange @natashaswife4125

[soft-boi-eli]

Ok ok! Good uhm.

Ok since body dysmorphia has been kicking my butt lately i wanted to request something with Schlatt where basically the reader Starts getting really insecure because of their body. Pushing and pulling on their stomach etc. They also start binding unsafely with like really tight bras because they can't afford a binder and they end up fucking up their ribs really bad. They end up in the hospital and a very worried Schlatt visit's them and lectures them about how they shouldn't have done that and about how worried he was. So when they get back home there is a gift on the bed, turns out Schlatt bought them a binder.

The reader would be Non-binary and afab.

Also a little message for pretty much anyone who is insecure about their body/has body dysmorphia because of their chest, don't bind unsafely. That can really fuck up your chest and make you actually being happy with your body even harder.

Hell yes. I love this idea thank you icarus! Writing has been rude to me lately and I needed inspiration. This has hit it exactly.

Pronouns:nonbinary (dont think any were actually used in this so yeah.)

Tw: AFAB reader, swearing, insecurity, mention of surgry, mention of blood, mention of hating self, pain. Again angst to fluff. It is reflecting on how I have felt about my body before because I needed to make it seem kinda real.

PSA: please dont bind safely. It's dangerous and can lead to serious health consequences. I know hating your body sucks but I dont want anyone to get hurt because they dont listen to their lungs, they dont take off their binder, or if their bras are way too fucking tight. It can and will hurt you. So please bind safely!!

Happy birth-what the fuck?!

Lately your brain was giving you more dysphoria then ever. Telling you your body was too big, your boobs were too noticable, and you hips are too feminine.

What brought this on? Someone simply said your dead name. It made your dysphoria hit you like a truck.

After that day everything went down hill. Your stopped streaming, telling your followers that you were going on a mental break, you didn't really talk to friends, your brain could put words together. And you most importantly barely texted your loving supporting boyfriend schaltt, not wanting to break down in front of him.

You never had the time or thoughts of getting a chest binder. It was your biggest mistake honestly.

Deciding against chest binders and wearing alot of tight bras to flatten you. But it didnt work. So you got tighter bras. And they did work. But you didnt read up on how to bind safely.

This lead to the predicament now. In front of your mirror you were pinching and pulling at your skin. There was too much. All you wanted to do was cut it off with scissors. But decided against it due to the fact of all the blood that you would loose.

Your chest, smaller then it was yas, was still visible after your 3rd bra. You decided to add a 4th and tighter one hoping it would completely hide your boobs.

Your body made you want to puke. It made you feel disgusting. But you never told schaltt that. Afraid that he would say that you looked as gross as you thought you did.

Only 5 minutes after the 4th bra you felt excoriating pain in your ribs. And worse of all a harsh pop. That immediately brought red flags. It hurt to breath. Your head fuzzy and light headed.

Your only reaction, to call for an ambulance. Dialing the three numbers as you whimpered in pain you held onto your lungs. "911 what's your emergency?" "I cant breathe. It hurts so bad. Please help." "Are you by yourself?" "Yes. I need help please." "Ambulance, firemen, and police are on their way. Ambulance is 2 minutes out."

You didnt know if you had 2 minutes. "They can break the door down if I dont answer." That's all you said after collapsing.

Next thing you knew your door was busted off its hinges and you saw two paramedics. They were quick to transfer you to the ambulance, cutting through the four bras that held your chest.

It help get air to your lungs but it barely helped.

"We have a collapsed lung. ETA 2 minutes." The paramedic back there with you spoke to the walkie talkie.

Collapsed lung? Was that the harsh pop? God, was the bras that bad of an idea? All that was going through your mind was how you possibly could get worse. The instant you got into the trauma bay was way worse. With no time to numb you and your O2 stats dropping they had to cut between your ribs and shove a tube right next to your left lung. Draining air and excess blood blocking your lung from inflating. And before you knew it you were off to emergency surgery for getting a shard of bone out of your chest cavity.

The last thing you remember was counting down and falling asleep.

When you woke up your boyfriend was next to your bed, hands engulfing one of yours.

It looked like he had been crying before falling asleep on one of your legs. Taking your free hand through his hair you smiled lightly. "I'm sorry for all of this ram boy." He grunted lightly and moved his head back into your hand. His messy hair was thick and nearly matted. It made you wonder how long he's been sitting there. You loved him and felt so selfish for doing this to him.

"I cant believe I did all this and for what? To cause you and everyone pain? All because i couldnt afford a chest binder and deciding that I might as well try another way. I should have been safer huh?" You didnt expect an answer back. Just his quite snores.

"Yeah. Not really fuckin selfish more like kinda dumb. Your body doesnt show who the fuck you are (y/n). Your heart does. And your heart isnt say boy or girl. Its saying you are you. A person who uses pronouns they them. A person that love everyone and cares for their friends. A person who love me and jambo so deeply."

He took a breath.

"You normally are quite smart. Saving up for one would of been a better idea instead of doing such a stupid thing. Asking for my help. Because if I knew I would of helped. I would of found one just right for you. I would help you remember to take it off after 8 hours. Even would of found a way to make you feel more like you."

You could hear his heart break.

"But now you're here, four broken ribs, a healing lung, and stuck in the hospital for another week at least."

You felt so guilty. He was right. You should of told him. He would never have seen you like you saw yourself. He never cared about how you looked. He only cared for your heart.

Tears falling down your face you continued to massage his scalp. "I could of lost you. You are my rock. When I cant keep up my normal antics and feel like I'm at an all time low. You are there to pick me up." You had to stop the sob from coming up. "I'm just so happy youre alive." He looked up.

His red eyes were making your heart ache. "I wont do it again I promise. But I cant just ignore the feeling of dread whe. I look down and realize I present so much like a girl. I dont wa t to be one." Schaltt nodded and kissed the hand he was holding. "Then let me help you. I wont let this happen again. Just please. Come to me. Talk to me. I'm here like you are for me."

You gave a small nod.

This man knew his way to your heart. He was so sincere about this. "I will. But promise me you wont look down on me if I end up feeling like that." You just needed to make sure you knew he would never but you needed his words. "Mever sugarbabe. Never in my life have I looked down on you and never will."

God the week was long, him and the doctor explaining safe binding that you cant fully bind for at least 6-8 weeks. Schlatt telling you his reaction to finding your apartment swarmed with police and firemen and you no where to be seen.

He was practicing on saying happy birthday to you. But was cut off. "Happy birth-what the fuck?!" He was so concerned and even more so when you were in hospital.

When you did go home he helped you through the door, and watched you as you saw the small package on your couch.

Opening it you saw a chest binder. Specifically the one you were looking at. Looking over to schaltt with tears in your eyes you walked up and hugged him lightly minding the pain in your left side. This was the best gift.

The only gift you had been wanting for the past week or two. "Now you can be safe. But no binding till your doctor says so or I swear to god I will personally smite you down." You had to try so hard no to laugh or the pain would of been hell. Kissing his cheek you smiled.

"Of course schaltt. I will make sure to not wear it till I'm healed dont want to get blood on it ya know. Also it would hurt like a fucking bitch."

He chuckled and ruffled your hair. "Alright now go sit down. I'll get you some soup ya dork."

This was going to be a great time. That was until the pain fully came back. And then this is going to be a mediocre time.

Please pardon spelling errors. I havent proof read. And I am on mobile for almost all stories. But thank you so much for requesting this became something that I could write and it helped me alot. Now I might take a while for other things too and i apologize that's cause i am starting school soon. Also family issues. So yeah might take a bit. Dont know how long though. I'll try to keep them coming but if not you know I'm studying or helping my mom and grandma.

Eli out.

[peanut-butter-parkerxx]

plane pillow

where peter planned to play video games with ned through the whole flight but fate decided to take another turn....

*A/N: this isnt related to far from home nor the ending of endgame, just pretend infinity and all the movies after didnt exist since i imagine pete 16 in here. i dont know why 16 i just like that age on him lmao, enjoy reading!*

pairing: peter x reader

status: strangerz (well sort of since they haven't talked to eachother but they're in the same school)

NOT PROOF READ BTW SO SORRY IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES

peter's POV

"the flight will be amazing! i heard they'd installed the new game we were talking about" i gushed to ned, excited for the whole flight to be filled with video games.

"im excited" ned stated practically jumping from excitement and i shook my head laughing

"OK CLASS!" Mr Harrington clapped his hands getting our attention "we're boarding the plane in a few minutes so pack your stuff and lets goooo" he pointed at our gate dramatically.

we walked to the gate, scanned our ticket and sat on our assigned seats, ned and i sat on the three seater, he took the window seat by winning a 3 round match of rock, paper, scissors *sighs angrily* and i obvious got the middle, kinda scared of who'll sit beside me though.

we had to wait for a few minutes, since we boarded the flight early. ned and i obviously started playing video games, too entranced by the small glowing screen infront of me i haven't realized a girl.

she hadn't really acknowledged me either because she looked tired, i cursed at the screen for losing the game too quickly and my dumb ass still didnt realize a GIRL, MY AGE, looking PRETTY FUCKING ADORABLE was sitting next to me. oh dear god.

after a couple more games and me being the most idiotic teenager known today for not looking at my right to see her  the flight attendant alerted us that the plane will take off so we the screen will freeze any moment. ned and i decided to sleep, it was very early in the morning and we need to rest if we plan on gaming most of the flight.

i closed my eyes and shifted a bit in my seat, and slept. the plain was moving at the time trying to find the best place to take off. i guess i was really tired that i havent felt someone sleeping on my shoulder.

i was peacefully sleeping still agitated from the uncomfortable seat but i heard a loud noise that frightened the life out of me and due to my spidey senses i sensed a hand on my right, so what did i do? i fucking held the hand. hard, may i add, from the fright.

i opened my eyes quickly and jumped a bit, turning around to see who's the stranger that i held hands with, startled as well. i sighed in relief knowing our plane was safe and it was just about to take off. but then i took a good look on the perso- her, took a good look on her, on her? OH MY GOD ITS A GIRL calm down peter and please dont scare her off. i couldnt stop looking at her and to my luck she was looking at me as well, but none of us spoke

i couldnt help but notice the small part of her y/h/c hair that was shown from her hood looked so shiny and smooth, her eyes were the most perfect shade of y/e/c. the extremely large hoodie looked so comfortable on her which made me think of her wearing one of mine, how big and long it'll look on her body sent butterflies to my stomach. she looked small, and precious so fragile yet she held her body confidently.

the voice of the flight attendant echoed through the speakers which made us both stop our trance of one another. even though the lady's voice wasnt scary it still frightened us. i mean no hate towards miss attendant she called me a cutie and gave me extra blankets

but coz we got startled again we held hands....again looking for the sources of the noise. we visibly relaxed once we realized what it was, looked at eachother and laughed, her laugh was angelic and soft, hands down the best sound ive ever head. she looked rather embarrassed from the encounter but i bet you a thousand dollars i look worse, i could practically feel the blood rush through my cheeks once she realized how long ive stared at her

"i- uhm i-im so sorry for sleeping on your shoulder, and- and holding your hand and stuff" she apologized, it only made me even more baffled by her. how could a voice match with a face so perfectly.

"no no its fine uhh i dont mind *nervous laugh* and for the hand thing i was the one who grabbed yours so i-i should be the one apologizing...im sorry" i rubbed the back of my neck. this is why i dont talk to girls, ever. well mj is an exception since shes like the closest thing i have to a friend other than my best friend obviously.

"i-im y/n, by the way" she lifted her hand properly introducing herself

"peter, peter parker" i shook her hand, it was nice feeling the warmth of her hand again. we probably held hands (for the third time today by the way) longer the we should have but who am i to say i was bothered. i definitely wasnt.

"nice to meet you peter" she smiled shaking our hands one last time then sitting it on her lap. scratch what i said about her gorgeous laugh, hearing her say my name was the best thing ive heard in my 16 year of existence. (her laugh is obviously the second best)

before i could ask anything else, the plane decided to finally take off. i adjusted myself to the seat, not turning to my right side anymore and closed my eyes trying to think of smiling puppies. ive been on a plane before, in fact a private one last year but that was it. this is my second time flying away from new york and i was a bit nervous.

y/n somehow noticed my sudden tense form, who am i kidding i looked like i was about to die coz of my nerves. and held my hand. and i immediately opened my eyes again, the feeling of her skin coming in contact with mine brought chills down my spine, good ones obviously

"you looked rather tense, is this ok?" she leaned into my ear so i could hear her. i looked at her confused on why she would want to help me but nodded as a reply. a smile crept on my face and i couldnt seem to take it off.  the take off went smoothly thank god. and ive occasionally squeezed her hand, usually when the plane made very loud sounds. but i made it! woohoo

i didnt know if i should stop holding her hand or not, even though i didnt want to. will she think im a creep? and if i did, will she think im rude? but i guess it didnt seem to bother her if she went back to sleeping. so i figured i should do the same

i shifted in my seat a couple of times trying to get the perfect comfy spot....nothing. this seat will be the death of m-

"you can sleep on my shoulder if you want" she whispered. "i figured since you let me sleep on yours which im very sorry about, you could sleep on mine" she smiled

"thanks, but i dont wanna bother you or make you uncomfortable"

"oh nonsense! my body is screaming right now cheering for me, well partially scolding at me for saying something risky like that to a good looking guy, its ok" she laughed, her eyes widened in shock from what she confessed. i smiled at her and rested my head on her shoulder

"you think im good looking?" i whispered playing with our fingers, i dont know when i got the sudden confidence but hearing someone like her think a loser like me is cute did something to me.

"shut up" she playfully shoved me and i laughed.

"are you from midtown?" i asked her

"no im from queens" she joked

"oh you're definitely from midtown" i chuckled, next thing i know i was having a normal conversation with me laying my head on a girl i just met like we knew eachother for years, it was nice to talk to a girl i potentially thought was cute instead of talking gibberish

she was very understanding and looked like interested into what i was saying, i was gonna skip my geeky side when she asked about what i like but to my surprise, she mentioned it when i asked her the same, she said she loves comics and likes watching sci fi movies. i asked her if she watched star wars and she said she didnt...yet.

"wanna uhm watch it together?" i played with her fingers absentmindedly nervous if she'd reject me.

"yeah sure" her eyes lit up like she was waiting for me to ask her that. we watched the movie in bliss, thankfully she liked it! and immediately said to put the second one. and surprise surprise, we finished it.

when the credits rolled in, i saw her yawning, shifting in her seat again, i decided to be bold so i lifted her head off my shoulder pulled the arm rest away from us, took a pillow and patted my lap. immediately after doing it i regretted it, she barely knows me, what the fuck peter.

"you sure?" she asked smiling a bit, she looked like she felt something giddy inside which made me feel at peace again and i nodded.

"good night" she whispered snuggling her head on my lap, i hesitantly put my arm over

"good night, y/n" and we fell asleep like how ned slept the whooole time i was talking to her, wow we have a lot to catch up on

bonus:

peters pov

i didnt know the whole plane (our class) practically gushed over my interaction with y/n, i know its been a while since i liked a girl but betty and the rest (including Mr Harrington) practically begged mj to take photos of us since she was the closest, not that she wouldnt have done it without them asking her....

*A/N: idk what this bonus was lmao but i had to add the school feeling happy for our boy pete*

have a wonderful morning/afternoon/evening/night!

-quacksonlover

[spideymarvelws]

It Was Fun While It Lasted

Main Masterlist / Add Yourself To My Taglists

A/n : this is kind of an alternate ending to endgame ig? a version where your a long lost child of thanos and Peter lost the gauntlet only to find it at the same time as you and plot ensues. Kind of the same thing with Clint and nebula but way further down in the movie. I just really wanted to write a villain reader okay leave me alone idk what im doing. also sorry for any inaccuracies i havent watched endgame is so long😭im just going off what i remember. 

Summary : Despite your life on earth, your life with the avengers, you’ve always felt like something was missing. You never felt that longing to save the people of the world, their wide smiles and thanks never satisfied you like it did everyone else. That was until Thanos told you about your true past, your true purpose.

To destroy the universe.

Warnings : cursing, betrayal, (ik we should just give Peter a break, but its for the plot im sorry) just pretty angsty so you’ve been warned

Word Count : 2.8k

Heavily inspired by this and this playlist on youtube

Peter Parker x GN!Villian!Reader

...

“It’s under all that ruckus,” Sam yelled through coms, flying over the fallen building he once called the avenger’s compound, “Can anyone reach?”

Peter webbed one of the aliens, using the makeshift leash to pull himself over the creature, knocking it into another one of his kind. His new spider legs retracted from his suit, helping him land gracefully on the floor quick enough to see the domino effect he just caused.

He quickly caught Sam’s words, looking up to see he was right outside the fallen building.

“I can!” he quickly said, flicking his wrist to catch on to a random flying alien, pulling it down to the floor as he took flight, landing on the top of one of the cracked walls. He swiftly searched for an opening under the rubble with the help of Karen tracking where he looked.

Suddenly a red light flashed from a cave like opening, giving him a small cheer at victory. As he crawled into the gap, some static came through his ear piece signalling that someone was about to talk.

“Good luck Kid,” Tony muttered into his ear followed by a loud blast as the comms cut off. Even with the rough cut, he could still feel the small smile making its way to his face.

Though there was a full fledged war going on that might decide whether everyone lived or not, all his young brain could think about was how cool it was to be fighting alongside every superhero he’s ever known, and more. If only he could go back to when he first got bitten, to tell his past self that at some point in the future he would be fighting alongside the avengers.

That he himself was an avenger.

It was crazy to think about. To think about how far he’s come that he was able to save the world and not just help some old lady cross the street. As thoughts continued to bloom in his head, he carefully crawled through all the debris, taking care that he didn't stick to parts that might take down the small opening.

Soon enough he found a clearing, what looked like a living room area judging from the couch covered in dust and the familiar stone pillars and plants. He detached himself from the ceiling, landing softly on the floor as he looked around the dirty room, moving away from the flickering wires that hung from the slanted ceiling.

He soon caught sight of something shiny and gold from underneath a fallen pillar. He punched his arm in the air, running to the object and carefully pulling the gauntlet out of its snug position.

“Found it,” he said into his comms, grunting as it finally released, sending him back slightly, “Coming out now,”

“I’ll meet you outside,” Tony said before cutting off once again.

Peter looked back at the opening determined, strutting towards the exit, his confidence growing with each step. A crunch of debris shook him out of his pride, making him stop in his tracks. He quickly ducked behind a piller, looking at the shadows shown on the wall opposite him with his hand ready to web whatever it was making its way into the cavern.

But as soon as he caught your silhouette standing in the shadows, he let out a deep breath, his shoulders sagging as his muscles lost the sudden tension. He stepped out from his hiding spot to greet you.

“Oh thank god it’s you,” Peter chuckled, his hand falling to his side as he adjusting the gauntlet in his hand, “I thought it was another one of those alien thingies,”

You stayed silent, standing ominously with your arms to the side, twirling your gun slowly. He couldn't see your face hidden in the shadows, only the red glow of the necklace around your neck, illuminating details of your suit on your chest. He noticed how your body shook lightly, like a bomb about to go off. 

Peter chuckled nervously, tightening his hold on the glove.

“Is- is everything alright?” He said, taking careful steps towards you. 

He didn't listen to the voices in his head telling him to run, to get away as fast as he could. You were his friend, his partner in crime he liked to say. 

You would never hurt him.

You stayed silent a few seconds longer, the only thing proving to him that you weren't a lifeless manikin were your movements as you shifted from leg to leg. But he didn't think much of it, it was a scary time for everyone. Maybe you were just glad that he got the gauntlet and not someone from Thanos’ army. Maybe you were just glad to know he was okay after being separated.

“I’m sorry Peter,” you finally spoke up, your voice dangerously low, something he wasn't use to, “But I’m going to need you to give me that glove,”

Peter was taken back by your words, mostly still confused but also slightly worried at your words and sudden presence, “What! Why?”

“I can’t-,” you let out a harsh breath, “I can’t tell you why Peter, just give me the damn glove,”

“No, I-,” he let out a gasp when you raised your gun, aiming it directly at his chest, “Woah, woah, woah!” he held his empty hand up in defence, “What are you doing!”

“I’m getting that glove one way or another Parker,” you said harshly, your tone slashing at his heart, “So either you give it to me or i’m prying it off your dead corpse, you decide,”

Peter stayed silent, trying to process your sudden change in, well, you.

Only minutes ago, you were fighting alongside him, well what felt like minutes ago. He lost all concept of time when the army charged towards him, his main focus was getting that gauntlet away from Thanos and doing his job as an avenger. 

But you were there, using the same gun pointing at him now to blast the same aliens attacking him. That was until the land beneath you detached itself, creating a small floating piece of dirt that took you up in the air, taking you away from him.

He didn't have time to follow you when he got tackled to the floor, losing sight of you as you moved to the direction of Thanos.

That's when it clicked in his head.

But before he could question anything, his senses went off as he narrowly dodged the blast of your gun. With the distraction, you took the opportunity to lunge at him, knocking him to the floor.

“What did he do to you!” he grunted, throwing up the gauntlet and webbing it to the ceiling. Before you could jump for it, he tackled you to the floor, webbing one of your hands to the ground.

“He told me the truth!” you screamed, punching him in the nose with your other hand. He webbed that hand to the floor as it tried to reach out to your gun. He kicked away the weapon, webbing the rest of your body, making sure that you were secure, unable to escape.

He didn't want to, but you were unstable, not yourself. Whatever Thanos did to you, fucked up the person he knew, the person he loved and he was determined to get to the bottom of it. He was determined to get you back.

“What do you mean ‘truth’? Do you hear yourself right now!” he said in vain, his chest heaving with every breath. 

You stopped struggling in the webs, making Peter question if you ever were. You only laid with a wide smile on your face that soon turned into hysterical laughter. Tears flowed freely from your eyes as you tried to catch your breath making Peter’s breath hitch.

“loud and clear Peter,” you managed to get out, your laughs calming down to little giggles.

“Then why are you doing this? Why did you attack me!”

You rolled your eyes, “You refused to give the what i wanted that’s why,”

“But why do you want it?” he said desperately, growing annoyed with your vague words.

“Why do you want to save the world?” you countered, “Because it feels good right? You feel accomplished? You feel needed, you feel useful,” you shook your head, “You feel like aching pain in your chest to do the right thing, to do what you think is right for the world” you paused, “So what’s so wrong in wanting to destroy it,”

“I save the world because it's the right thing to do Y/n,” he said seriously, disgusted that you would think of the possibility of destroying the universe, “You’re killing innocent people! You lived through those five years, you knew how devastating it was for everyone,”

“But i enjoyed it,” you cut him off, “I enjoyed watching them suffer, because- because i knew it was the right thing, what Thanos did- it was destiny. It was fate! But you fail to see that, you all fail to fucking see it!”

“See what! See what!” he shouted, trying his best to understand what you were saying because none of it was processing in his head.

“People don’t appear out of thin air Peter! I didn’t have a family or friends! I woke up in the middle of nowhere! Knowing nothing about myself and you people fucking took me in and USED me because of my skil!” you spat, “When i asked to find my real family you all denied it, you denied everything i ever said, i asked, you people did nothing for me!”

He started to back away when he noticed your hands begin to glow red, the webs around your body melting off your skin. Suddenly his hands became heavy, something cold clicking around his wrists, pulling him to his knees. He struggled, his muscles strained as he tried to break free but it was futile.

He let himself get trapped, he let himself get distracted.

What confused him more was your sudden power. You were known for your slick fighting skills and use of your guns and various weapons. Not powers that made chains burst out of the ground strong enough to withhold him even with his super strength.

Did Thanos do this to you? Is this why you turned to his side, because he gave you special abilities?

“But now, I know my true self, I know my purpose,” you continued, “I’m not a superhero Peter, maybe not by your definition. Saving all those people, using my powers for ‘good’ means nothing to me,” you stood tall over him, power surging through your veins, “cause guess what! It’s repetitive! People will always find a way to get hurt, to use people for their gain! Humans! Humans are a fucking waste of time but you all never saw that. You just saw the good not the evil,”

“Because that’s our j-”

“Because that’s our job, yes I know, but it's not,” you cut him off once more, “Who ever said that we need to protect people who can’t even help themselves? Who ever said we needed to have this responsibilities on our shoulders for something we can’t even control,” you pointed at him, “You never asked to be spiderman, sure the same can’t be the same for iron man or captain america but they choose that, we didn’t,” you sighed, “But none of you understand that, only-” you paused, “only Thanos does,”

“Is that why you're doing this? Because of something our enemy said,”

“Your enemy, not mine,” you smiled weakly, “He’s made more sense to me that any of you have, he showed me my true powers, my true self in the matter of minutes, something you all couldn't do in years,” your hands dropped to your side, “because he’s my family, he knows my true destiny the real reason why I was given my gift,” you gestured to the gauntlet, “And that’s to complete what he started, that’s why he put me on earth Peter, and I can’t let you or anyone ruin that for me,”

That’s when it clicked, “You’re his child,”

You smiled softly at his words, “I’m not a hero Peter,” your shoulder shook as you let out a tired laugh, “I’ve tried telling you this so many times but you-,” you took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself, “You just never fucking listened!”

Peter stayed silent, looking down at the floor in defeat. You knelt down in front of him, talking his jaw in your fingers to pull his face up, forcing him to look into your eyes.

“I never wanted to hurt you Peter,” you whispered, your eyes softening as you looked directly into his now dull, dirty browns.

“You already did,” he sneered, feeling no remorse for his words, “You did when you took his side, when you betrayed us, after everything we’ve fucking been through your side with a purple fucking raisin,”

You only sighed, your head dropping as you stood back up, stretching your back, “You’ll understand Peter, one day you will,” you began to walk back to the gauntlet, flicking your fingers to get rid of the webs, “To bad I won’t be there for that to happen,”

The shiny piece of metal fell softly into your hands, laying snugly in your palms. Peter watched with dread as your eyes glimmered with glee, reflecting all the colours of the stones, glowing dimly when it landed on the red one.

“How do you think it’s going to feel?” you said out loud, staring in awe at the gauntlet, “I mean I’ve felt the wrath of one stone but six?!” you chuckled, “I could only imagine what that must feel like,”

Peter only grumbled at your words, looking around for something, anything that might spark a light in his mind. That might help him to escape but he found nothing. You had the power of a fucking infinity stone running through your body, if he were to try anything you were sure to break him back down despite which stone you got your powers from. It didn't matter, you were still stronger than him in every way.

“Question is, should I put the glove on, then the stones? Or maybe the other way around? Should I do them all at once or individually,” you looked back at him with a mad grin, “The options huh?”

“You really are his child,” Peter grumbled, looking off to the side, “Sick and twisted, just like him,”

“See! You finally get it!” you said excitedly, throwing your arms in the air, “Glad to know we’re finally on the same page,” you giggled right after. 

Normally it would make his heart flutter, but now it only made him sick to his stomach.

“God, It’s just-” you took a deep breath, “I’ve haven't used my powers in fear of hurting others that- that I never even cared about! I just acted like i cared cause- cause that was my job right? That’s what everyone said!” you flicked your hands at the glove, morphing it into the perfect size to fit your arm right in front of his eyes, “Now, I could explore its limits, its full power without being thrown into some tacky jail in the middle of nowhere,” You grinned, “Isn't that exciting?”

You began to take out each individual stone, keeping them floating by your ideas, your eyes flickering from each one to judge it like it was a beauty pageant.

Peter looked at you ridiculously, “No, it isn't,” he took a deep breath, “Y/n, this isn’t you,”

You chuckled, fitting the glove on your hand snuggly as you raised the six individual stones further in the air, spinning them around you, “On the contrary,” you moved the space stone to one of the slots, groaning as its power seeping into your body, “I think this is most i’ve felt like myself in a while!”

He watched in horror as you put each stone in its individual departments, your smile growing wider and wider with each one. Your body began to float off the floor, the light emitted almost blinding him at how bright it grew.

“You don’t have to do this Y/n!” Peter shouted desperately, grunting as he pulled on the chains keeping him locked to the floor, “God dammit Y/n! You don’t know what you’re doing!”

You ignored his pleas, his words void of anything to your ears. 

“I’m sorry Peter,” you whispered, turning back to look at him with red glowing eyes, “But the villains just have more fun,” you cackled, breath heavy as the power of all the stones surged through your veins, making them pop with colour, “And I’m about to have the time of my life,”

With that, a bright white light filled Peter’s eyes, knocking him back against the debris, taking him out cold on the floor.

...

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[estrel]

So uh you don’t have to answer this but for your adhd what’s it like? Or well yeah that and how long have you know you have adhd because I just- I don’t have the opportunity to get tested until I’m 18 and I don’t wanna self diagnose but it’s something that’s bothering me and I’m genuinely curious

ok kinda said a lot so it's under the cut. i broke it up so it wasnt a huge paragraph because i know those are unappealing with the adhd brain lmao

aha... ooo, where to start. i guess i should first of all say that i also havent had the opportunity to get tested...but it all started here? sort of?

i made this account in october and i expressed through some rambles that i felt i might have adhd but didn't want to self diagnose. i've been to therapy & i was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and ptsd a few years ago, but honestly the therapy experience was just Bad for me because of Reasons and i've been wary of going back (and also my parents aren't very supportive of therapy or anything to do with mental health stuff...so.) *

*edit: i should also mention that i'm someone who likes to feel out...labels? i guess? and things of that nature to make sure i'm certain about it (or as certain as possible) before committing to it. this happened for my gender & sexuality as well as the mental illnesses i thought i might have before i was diagnosed. usually this includes years of internal debate and further research and self analysis...so i. yeah i would never want to just say i have adhd just because.

anyways, in the ask i linked + some others, i was told that it was okay to self diagnose adhd if you've been noticing symptoms for a while? (i believe because it's hard for adults to get an accurate diagnosis... anyway? but don't quote me on that) and i had been, i'd been 👀 for like a year prior but hadn't mentioned it much to anyone because i again...didn't wanna self diagnose.

leading up to me talking about it on here though, it's just like. i've had a lot of time to observe myself during covid/quarantine and come to new... realizations? my parents pointed out to me MORE than once that i was constantly stimming (i mean they didn't call it that, but that's what it was--i was never sitting still & they'd tell me to like. relax. whenever we watched a movie. i snap my fingers a lot when my mom's being slow getting groceries, and also tap my foot/jog my leg which is actually something i've always done but never really noticed, constantly picking at the skin around my nails or at my lips, etc etc)

and then i had the shittiest college quarter of my LIFE because i doubled up on units like an IDIOT but it was around november...which. you know how we all were during november, ok. we were a collective mess. and i just couldn't (still can't) concentrate on school like normal. i (haha..used to) care a lot about school, and my parents were like 👀 what is going ON why are you so stressed but it was because i couldnt focus on a SINGLE assignment for more than 1 minute at a time

so naturally i complained about it on here and asked for ways to study with adhd? because i hadnt looked into it before? and i kid you not... all the suggestions worked. all of them. i actually got the shit done without turning it in late and it was!! a miracle

but yeah, that kinda cemented it for me. that, and having friends on here that told me it was perfectly okay to say i have it/noticed me doing stuff like jumping from thought to thought on my instagram stories or stimming or whatever, which felt pretty validating i guess. i mean sometimes i still doubt that i do have it, but i hope to get tested sometime when i feel it's okay to do so

anyways to sum it all up because i know this was a lot

lack of concentration/difficulty staying focused on one task for too long/procrastinating like crazy

finding it hard to sit still (fidgeting, moving, stimming)

forgetfulness (which i forgot to add... uh. {edit: LMAO I FORGOT TO ADD FORGETFULNESS SHAHDJ} one time i forgot to pay my tuition and got fined a late fee for 100$...oops)

not wanting to do things that require a lot of mental effort (like the essay i'm avoiding rn!)

jumping from thought to thought without really completing the first one (like. for example. "okay yesterday i was watching--okay no wait you know how dean's a bottom?? ok so i was thinking. wait wait okay he's a bottom but it makes sense because the episode i was. hh. fuck okay wait. YOU KNOW how cas wears a striped tie. ok. i swear this makes sense just let me get a grip.")

were the main ones off the top of my head, but here are also some resources that may help!

[bruh-haikyuu]

A miya osamu scenario where he’s having a quality time together with fem s/o in a quiet little coffee shop 💕💕💕 Thaaaaanks

A/N: miya osamu. your hand in marriage. now. ALSO SPOILERS IF YOU HAVENT READ UP TO CHAPTER 378 OF THE MANGA.

apricate. | miya osamu

word count: 2040

warnings: MANGA SPOILERS, slight hints of sexual content

(v.) to bask in the sun

The silver band wrapped around your left ring finger glittered warmly at the amber beam of light streaming from the tiny shop’s window. From behind the mosaic counter adorning the back of the cafe, the aroma of caffeine and freshly baked fruit tarts poured between the tables in the room. At this hour of the day, the establishment was unusually quiet, but you weren’t exactly complaining about that—

“Osamu, I wanna go home.”

You were almost apologetic that your husband was into his third sigh of the day. At some point of time, you would be the reason behind his slowly settling wrinkles. “Y/N, it’s only been 5 minutes since we’ve sat down.”

It wasn’t like he could blame you for it. You weren’t just upset, you were distressed. A parent to three rambunctious children, and you had left them with the family shop on their own. Though it was only for the day—and seeing that they had demanded that the both of you “go and enjoy your day off”—you didn’t get much of a wink of leisure.

“A-Are you sure it’s alright to leave Setsuko to take care of her younger siblings?” you rattled, a soft image of your precious ten-year old daughter forming in your head. “Oooh… what if Eiji causes her too much trouble and insists that he keeps workin’ instead of eatin’ ? And ‘Samu, did you remember to tell her where Kaori’s diapers are kept? M-maybe, I should call her just to check…”

As you unclasped your purse to look for your cell phone, your face paled at its obvious absence from where it should’ve been. When you looked up to meet Osamu’s lax face, his expression had said it all.

Raising your “missing” phone in his hand, he crossed his arms and shot you a smirk that said: I took precautions.

“Y’know, if Secchan’s been pesterin’ us to get out of the house for so long, she knows exactly what you’d do to her if we came back to the house up in flames. Plus, Eiji and I had a talk the other day about over-workin’ himself, so rest assured, he ain’t going to be doing that for a loooong, long time… And yes. I did tell Setsuko that Kao-chan’s nappies are on the bottom drawer of her room. ‘S all good. Anything else, Miya Y/N-san?”

Now it was your turn to sigh. “They’re my children, ‘Samu. Can’t help it.”

“Hey, I’m also a part of the family. Why ain’t I stuck on your mind all the time too, huh?” he said gruffly, a tone reserved to cheer you up whenever you needed it.

That’s right, you could never help it. They were your babies, the angels that were growing up too fast for your liking. It felt like it was just yesterday that your firstborn Setsuko, now at a double-digit age, was curled in your arms. Practically attached at your hip 24/7. The moment she’d bashfully asked you to stop plaiting her hair for her, you swore you could hear your heart shatter.

Moreover, it didn’t help that eight-year old Eiji (despite still being pegged as a “Mama’s boy”) was becoming more and more of a carbon copy of his father—too hard-working, but too oblivious. You weren’t one to scold your children about their grades, but with Eiji’s frightful progress at school, the lingering thought of your son saying that he’d consider dropping out of school to “be an adult” so Osamu would let him work full-time at the shop hindered you from any good night’s sleep.

But Kaori… Oh, your darling treasure Miya Kaori. Just a year old, fresh from your womb. Like so, “Kao-chan” was the apple of your older children’s eyes and the jewel of her father’s heart. The lone salvation of your livelihood was her innocent youth and you were desperately begging the gods to keep it that way. As soon as Kaori would start tying her own shoelaces and everything, you were sure you were going to turn into stone.

Your knees bumping under the picturesque, wrought iron table, Osamu gave you an endearing smile. “Relax. We have Fuji-san to keep an eye on ‘em in the shop, right? That guy’s got more nerves than his own body. If we’re worried about anythin’, it’s that the kids would get bored with him telling them to sit still.”

Your mind drifted to the thought of the young but unusually high-strung college student who’d been working part-time at the onigiri shop for two years. Osamu did make a point though. The bespectacled Fujiwara Chiaki was probably more dedicated to working than your own husband—a trait that he had likely passed on to your only son Eiji. The idea was concerning, but not to the extent where your head throbbed from it.

“They say if you think too much, you’ll grow old faster,” Osamu poked teasingly, while pushing a plate of a fragrant confectionary towards you. “You didn’t even notice that I’d brought back your favorite cheesecake.”

At the mention of the dessert, your eyes shot downwards to the platter. It looked just as sweet and luscious as it always did. From the first time you had it in high school as a “thank-you gift” from Osamu for helping him study for his exams, down to your wedding party where your friends had surprised you with an entire tower of it. You were sure Osamu would’ve been sick of tasting the velvety cream for 20 years and counting, but there was another suspicion you had that he’d feel gratified whenever he got it for you.

Holding out a forkful of cake, he said smugly at your twinkling gaze. “Open sesame, Y/N-chan.”

You didn’t hesitate for a second. When was the last time you got to enjoy yourself without any sniffles or pleading demands from your children? They’d inherited you and their father’s affinity for eating after all; a meal would never go untouched when it came to the Miya household. And if you’d brought this cake home, you know they’d bulldoze it down before you could grab a slice for yourself.

“So good…” you murmured, savoring the lightness of the dessert. Tangy and tethering on the border of being sweet and too sweet, this was indefinitely your next favorite thing after your family.

Osamu chuckled as you ate, tucking the loose strands of hair behind your ear. “Ain’t this getting too sugary for you? Y’know, I only gave you this the first time because I’d felt my teeth would fall out if I ate a bite of it.”

“You practically bribed me with it so I’d date you. If you think about it, you used this to bribe me into a lot of things!” your pout did not mask your amusement at all.

“Like how I used this so you’d finally catch a break from coddlin’ Secchan and have a better ‘time’ with your lovin’ husband? I’d say that it was a profitable compromise, my dear.”

You scoffed. “Profitable until you learn that having a second child was harder that you’d thought. How’d it feel tryin’ to feed Eiji the first time, huh?”

“It was a coincidence that Eiji just had to be a picky child growing up,” he shrugged. “Should I point out that you made it harder with spoilin’ him rotten, Mama Miya?”

You gave him your best, dramatized expression of offense. Oh, two could play this game. “Excuse you, Papa Miya. But who was the one who bought Setsuko an entire 50,000 yen-pretend kitchen as soon as she gave them one small tug on the sleeve?”

“C’mon, Y/N, you knew if I could afford it I’d buy it for her, no questions asked! The face she pulled when we brought it home could add ten years to my lifespan. There’s no way I would want to miss it,” his cheeks flared a vivid crimson. Hiding a snicker, you wondered how long it had been since you’d last seen that look on him.

“Miya Setsuko, the heiress of Onigiri Miya, already interested in the way of the stove at four years old! I couldn’t believe it. Ain’t she pretty darn cute in that apron we got in the set? Nah… that’s probably because Secchan’s pretty darn cute herself…” He was rambling now, eyes glossed over at the image of his daughter. Six years ago, she’d happily hopped into his lap when he’d finished tying up the frilly, daffodil-yellow apron, and gave him a hug that nearly pushed him to tears. Oh, how you wished you were there to see it.

“Osamu… Your gap moe* is showin’.”

“Oh, hush!” he spat, averting his gaze from yours as your leaned back on your chair, nearly doubling over in laughter. Though part of his face was covered by the large, ornate coffee mug, you knew he was smiling through and through.

The soft tinkling of the fake crystal chandeliers in your wake, your insides felt tingly in a way you haven’t felt for so long. What felt like hours, you spent talking with your husband about your little family, the shop, his brother (though this was quickly interrupted by another conversation about what Kaori’s first word would be), and all the things you’d never had the time to talk about since you were both so busy. It was just like high school all over again, only less melodramatic and more… wrinkly. But just as colorful as it always had been.

However, when Osamu fell silent, you knew something had gone terribly wrong. Setting down your fork, you leaned over the small table to observe his wallowing features.

“Osamu, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

As if he was being forced to shove an entire rock down his throat, he whispered, “… I miss ‘em.”

You stared at him, then did a double take. “S-sorry, say that again? Didn’t hear you.”

With reddened cheeks, he repeated himself anyway. “ I miss ‘em! All this talk about the kids… I know it’s only been a couple of hours but I miss Secchan already! M-my baby. My princess. Y-you know what it’s like, right, Y/N?”

You felt like a colossal force had lifted from your back. Grabbing your husband’s shoulders from across the table, you shook him while exclaiming, “Me too! I miss ‘em too! God, the entire time I was wishing I was feedin’ this cake to Eiji instead of myself. The way his cheeks puff up when he chews something… I have to see it…! And especially—”

“Kao-chan.”

“Kaori.”

And just as the planets aligned, your cell phone that had been sitting in Osamu’s coat the entire time rang. Taking it out of his pocket, he showed you the screen, displaying the name of the caller. Fujiwara Chiaki.

With your husband pressed close to your side, both cramped on one dainty seat of the cafe’s chair, you listened closely to the other side of the phone. “Hello? Fujiwara-kun?”

Chiaki’s meek but strangely jovial voice responded through the speakers. “Ah, Y/N-san, you picked up. The children wanted to speak with you about something. I think you’ll like this—”

“Chiakiii! You’re takin’ too long on the phone~ Hi, Mama! Can Papa hear me too?!”

Looking at your husband, you exchanged a smile. Eiji. Leaning his head on your shoulder, he cooed at your son. “I’m right here, Eiji.”

“Great! Because we have some ultra, big, super, important news to tell you—!”

A pop, a crackle and Eiji’s exuberant voice turned into Setsuko’s huffy, light one. “Eiji, Mama and Papa put me in charge so I’m gonna tell ‘em! …Mama, Mama, Mama, you won’t believe what happened!”

“Oh? What happened, Setsuko?” you giggled, heart softening at the lilt of your daughter’s voice.

“Kao-chan said her first word today!”

Literally swiping the phone from your grasps, Osamu, practically gleaming from the announcement, excitedly quivered as he spoke. “R-really? She did that, Secchan? What did she say? Was it ‘Papa’ or ‘Mama’?”

“Hmm… I think it was—”

“Second thought, don’t tell us. I want to see and hear it for myself.”

That was your cue. Unravelling your right arm into the air, you shot the waitress your biggest smile. “Check, please!”

══════ ⋆★⋆ ══════

Glossary:

gap moe - when someone does something that is the complete opposite of their habits

[arthurflecksgirl]

Hi sweety!🥰 could you please develope a prompt where x reader goes to Arthur's apartment for a coffee (they're only friends maybe?) and then she forgot her sweater (🥺) by him. so the next day he goes to her apartment to bring the sweater back to her. And idk if you want to add some cuddles or a cold weather and a warm tea🥺🥺🥺 thank you so much

Oh sweetheart, your request warmed my heart and it was so much fun to write it.  You know I have a weakness for sweater stories when it comes to our sweet Artie.Thank you so much. I really really hope you like it.

Pressing that elevator button felt different, knowing that you wouldnt go into your own apartment but ringing the bell on Arthur`s door. You knew each other since you moved into this building a few months ago but it took you weeks to finally make the first move and talk to him.

Arthur was a very shy man with intense eyes and a beautiful smile, which was hiding so much pain. You could tell from the way he was making jokes that he was sad. He was the kind of person who wanted to make others happy because he couldnt find happiness himself. Observing his loneliness made you sad. It hurt you to see that a wonderful man like him was all alone. Every since his mother was commited to Arkham state hospital he lived a lonely life in his dark apartment. Sometimes you could hear him laugh through the walls. It was a different kind of laughter, almost like he was in pain. One day he started laughing out of the blue and he handed this card to you, which said something about a condition. Maybe that was one of the reasons why he was too shy to interact with people. You have never seen him with someone else. Being his only friend felt special. Thats what you were. Friends. At least you thought so. Arthur never showed any kind of interest in being more than that. He was always very friendly, awkwardly shy and incredibly sad. Even when he was funny. Especially ehen he was funny.

You walked down the halls with a racing heart. You fell hard for this beautiful, sad soul. Just the thought of meeting up with him for a coffee made your knees weak. If only he knew if you were in love with him. But how could you vere tell him without risking his freindship? Maybe he prefered to be alone. Arthur always seemed like he could be scared away easily and you didnt wanted to. Just sitting beside him on his couch, feeling his presence was a gift. You could never risk to lose that.

Meeting up for a coffee after work was something you used to do pretty often now. Sometimes he would take you to the donut shop, even though he never ate one, but this time he invited you to come over to his place. Which felt so much more intimate.

You took a deep breath as you rang the doorbell.

"Coming" Arturs soft voice sounded like he was already smiling.

He opened the door. His brown curls matched his worn out chestnut sweater. A cigarette was tugged between his thin lips. He looked tired but his natural beauty was almost hurtful.

"Hi Y/N." his smile exposed his crooked tooth, which reminded you of how many nights you yearned for him to kiss you.

"Hey Arthur. I`m sorry I´m a bit late. I had to work longer today. "

"Its fine. I mean...I won`t go anywhere. I`m....here..." for a brief moment there was an awkward silence between the two of you. Then he turned around "Sit down...I mean....." he ran his fingers through his hair, appearently nervous ".....make yourself at home. I`ll make some coffee."

He headed into the kitchen while you sat down on the couch and took off your sweater.It was cold outside.Gotham city wasnt very pleasent during wintertime. The cold easily managed to get to your bones.

It was the 3rd time you every sat here. The fabric was old and faded, yellow and blue pillows decorated the corners. Along with  flowery and green sheets. Everything smelled like him. The scent of passion and romance. You always imagined Arthur to be a very romantic lover. The thought of that made you blush while he came back from the kitchen to hand you a hot cup of coffee.

"I`m sorry I only have these self made Murray Franklin show cups to offer you. Kinda embarassing." He took a sip of his own cup which looked exactly like yours , except for the handwritten letters looking a bit more shaky.

You turned the cup in yor hands "I think thats pretty sweet actually. Making your own cups of your fave tv show".

Arthurs eyes pierced you while he took another sip. The color of his eyes was everything.

"Yeah?"

"Sure!"

"You`re the only one who thinks so" he lit himself another cig and took a deep drag. His eyelids fluttered for a second. Details. details everywhere. Arthur was like a museum of details.

"My mother thought it was stupid. She said it reminds her of the fact that we dont even have enough money to buy the real cup."

You gave him a serious look "No, I really think its a creative thing to do. You are a creative guy."

His face lighted up "You think i´m crative? "

"Sure. You do write your own jokes, right?"

"Mhhh hmmmm, yeah"

"See? Very creative."

"Maybe I am" Arthurs left leg started bouncing and you caught yourself thinking how nice it would be to place your hand on his knee and make it stop by calming him down. You imagined how the fabric of his blue pants would feel under your fingertips. Or his naked skin...

Arthur sat close beside you, yet not close enough for his knee or arm to touch yours. You thought about how you could possibly touch him by accident. Feeling the fabcric of his clothes or his bare skin stroking yours was all you could think about.

He put the cup back on the table and looked at you in a way he never did before. His eyes focused you without blinking. Like the shyness within him was gone for a brief moment. You tried to mirror his stare, but it was impossible to look into his eyes without fighting  the urge to grab his face and kiss him. So you focused on the curl that was dancing in his neck instead. Not a good idea as well. Looking at this vulnerable part of his body only made you yearn for more.

You caught yourself looking away, which made you hate yourself. How could you possibly turn your head away when he was finally looking at you like that?

"You`re a party clown right?"

Arthur finally blinked "Yeah."

"I`d love to see some of your acts some day"

"I also do stand up comedy. Maybe you`ll come to Pogos when I perform next week?"

"Ohh Arthur, I would love that" and all of te sudden your hand was resting on his thigh. Arthurs muscles twitched under your soft touch. Like he wasnt used to being touched at all.

His smile said more than a thousand words "Wow, thats great news. I would love to see you in the audience. I will try to give my best performance for you. You know what Y/N? I´m gonna write a joke especially for you. Would you like that?"

Your hand was still on his leg. Touching him was magical. Like your hand was always supposed to be there. You nodded. Unable to say a word.

He looked at the back of yor hand like he couldnt belive that someone was actually resting his hand on him. You could tell from his eyes how touch starved he was.

All of the sudden Arthur got up. Your hand falling off his leg felt wrong.

"So I think I better work on that jokes now." he mumbled while he headed to his desk.

Right now? You felt the disappointment rising in your heart. He wanted you to leave?

"They better be good if you`re gonna be a part of the audience!" he added.

"Okay Arthur. It was nice to have a coffee with you. Im sure your new jokes will turn out incredibly funny.""

He smiled his sweetest smile while he grabbed the pen, looking like he was already about to concentrate.

"You know, I wrote this joke last night but I havent figured out the punchline yet. Punshlines are important. And facial expessions. I feel like I always get them wrong. And I have to look into peoples eyes more often."

"Sounds like a great plan, Arthur. "

"Thank you Y/N. I`m trying. I really do."

"I know"

"I want my stand ups to be good enough for the big clubs." he pressed his journal to his chest.

"I`m sure some day you will be well known. Everyone will  know the name Arthur Fleck and think of a grea comedian".

You noticed his eyes watering as he walked you to the door "Even kids?"

"Sure?"

"That would be sweet"

You wrapped his arms around him as you said our goodbyes "So, I`ll see you next week at Pogos?" he asked.

"Definitely!"

Your hug felt a little too tight for being just friends and you hoped he didnt noticed.

It felt a little too long too, but you couldnt help but trying to get a nose full of the smell of his soft curls.

Arthur looked after you before he closed the door behind him.

You walked down the hallway to get to your own apartment and immediately missed him.

Twenty minutes later you found yourself lying on your bed, realizing that you forgot your sweater on his couch. Should you gt over and  get it? You decited not to. He porobably was working on his jokes right now and you didnt wanted to bother him. So instead of visiting him one more time you just disappeared under the blanket and dreamed of him for the rest of the night.

The next day felt like a fever dream. Fantasizing about Arthurs lips and hands for the whole night left you with a strange feeling in your chest. Was it wrong to think of him that way? You thought about your sweater and how it was lying in Arthurs apartment for the whole night. You wondered if he left it lying on the couch and if he was still sleeping on the couch now that Penny was at the hospital? You couldnt concentrate while working at all. Your beautiful neighbor filled your mind with so many questions and daydreams. Daydreaming about him became something that helped you to get through the day. Just thinking of him chuckeling made you feel warm and fuzzy inside, like nothing could harm you anymore.

This man was magic.

And you wanted him so bad.

Somehow the day passed by like every day does and you found yourself alone in the bathroom, looking at the mirror, wondering if you were even his type of girl. You had no idea in what kinda girls he was into.

And just as you started wondering someone knocked at your door. Was it possible...?

You nervously hurried up to open it.

It was him.

Arthur was standing in front of you, holding your sweater in his hands.

"Hi Y/N. I dont know if you noticed but... you forgot your sweater yesterday and I didnt wanted to bother you and...."

"Ohhh Arthur. Thats so sweet of you. Yeah I noticed. Thank you."

You could swear that he was about to blush.

"You wanna come in?"

Arthur nodded while he stumbled through your door.

"Make yourself comfy, I am right back" you smiled as he sat down in the living room.

You disappeared in the bathroom, pressing your face into your sweater to see if it smelled differently. It did. There was a hint of Arthurs cologne on it. His flowery shampoo and the smell of smoke. Your sweater smelled like him.

You buried your face deeper into the fabric and breathed in.

It was your piece of clothing but it felt like it was his. Breathing in the scent that was so him was the most intimate moment of your entire life. Was that what it feels like to fall asleep in his arms? To cuddle with him on the couch while watching his fave comedy shows on the screen? Was that what he smelled like under his clothes? His bare skin? Was that the scent that would surrowd you while making love to him?

Your thoughts went all over the place while you rubbed the fabric against your blushing cheeks.

"Y/N? Are you okay?"

Arthurs voice woke you from your daydreams "Oh, yeah sure. Just got to use the bathroom. I´ll be right back"

"Okay! "

A minute later you sat beside him on the couch, the sweater still in your hands.

Arthur stared at it. His hands lay on his lap while he played with his own fingers.

"I have to admit something" he said "It`s so embarrassing. I dont even know how to tell you...."

"You can tell me anything, Arthur"

"There is a stain on your sweater now. It was me. I`m so sorry. I ruined it. Its face paint. I still got it on  my fingers after I cleaned my brushes. " he showed you the spots where he stained it.

Traces of him.

This somehow made you very emotional.

Its was his sweater now.

Through and through.

"Thats okay, Arthur. Dont worry. I dont mind."

"Really?" he seemed surprised.

"I dont mind at all !"

He shrug "Well there is another thing.... after I noticed you forgot your sweater on my couch... there was a reason I didnt came over to hand it to you last night. Its so embarrassing, oh my god..."

You giggled "Okay? Why didnt you?"

"I....put it on" Arthur buried his face in his hands "Sorry, dont hate me. Please. I put your sweater on and I slept in it." His legs started to bounce.

You coudlnt belive what you just heard. That was the cutest thing you could have imagined.

"Arthur,really? You slept in my sweater?"

He exposed his face.

"I know...I know....its...I`m sorry. Now you must think I`m a total freak or a stalker or something." He looked down on the floor, way too shy to look you in the eyes while he started to bite his nails.

"Actually I think thats pretty cute." you chuckled. The blood was rushing to your face. This man really got under your skin.

"What? Are...are you serious? You´re not mad at me? You dont think i´m a freak?"

"I could never think you`re a freak. I´m glad you told me. Now I`m going to tell you something much more embarrassing, okay? So you see that you are not the only one."

Arthur gave you an insecure look "Okay?"

"When I was at the bathroom before, I sniffed my sweater because I hoped it would smell like your apartment."

"I`m sorry if it smells like smoke now."

"Noooo not because of that! I wanted it to smell like... you!"

Arthurs eyes filled with love "You mean...."

You nodded as your eyes watered "I`m in love with you ever since I saw you for the first time. I just didnt knew how to tell you."

Arthur fell into your arms "Me too Y/N. Oh god.....me,too."

You pulled him closer. You never noticed how tiney he was in your arms. How fragile.

"Why havent you told me?" you asked him, while his face was buried in your neck.

"I didnt wanted to boter you. People often feel bothered by me. They think I`m weird. I was glad you even talked to me. Those short coffee breaks meant the world to me."

"Artie, this is just....I`m speechless."

He chuckled, now facing you "You just called me Artie".

"I know. Thats what I called you in my head all the time".

"I could get used to that" he smirked, which made his lip scar show even more intense.

"I cold call you Artie all night if you want to stay. " you whispered into his ear.

"I would love to. I mean its cold outside and some cuddles and warm tea would be nice..."

"Or some kisses" you added.

"Or some kisses....." Arthur turned his face to the left and put your face between his gentle hands.

His lips on yours felt even better than in your fantasy.

His taste filling your mouth was all you ever wanted.

And as you both fell into the pillows  you buried your face into his curls and took a deep breath of Arthur Fleck.

@impulsiveclown @ben-solos-writing-avenger @jokerownsmysoul @missjoker96 @arthurskitten @lynnesm @nonnymousse @gwynplaine89 @damnrightobsessedwithim @sgtsavoytruffle  @duhliriouss @sadjesterautumn @therealjokerking10 @flowerglitterwoman @thirstforfleck @spookyhome @iartsometimes  @you-cant-cry-in-here @bustafatclownnut @jokerismyhubbie @jokerflecker  @check-out-this-joker @darknessisafriend  @nicoleverse @mdme-rosary @arthurhappyclown    @neon-umbrella-for-stella   @cherrymoon75 @call-me-harley-quinn  @arthurjokersgirl

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Home - Intro

Summary: Fresh out of a divorce, Y/N moves to Sun Valley for a fresh start, a house left to her by her aunt and a new job as a nanny.

James 'Bucky' Barnes owns a law firm and has been left with three kids after his wife died giving birth to their youngest.

Bucky is nervous about leaving the kids with a nanny but he cant keep finding babysitters and the kids need someone more permanent around.

If you had asked me a year ago where id be right now, i would have said happily married, maybe a kid on the way?

But oh how wrong i was.

I was standing in my new home (a house left to me by my aunt that i was planning on selling!) with two suitcases of my belongings, no husband, no kids.... just me.

I stood looking around the fully furnished house and sighed, it was a lovely house, a bit outdated but i could work on that gradually....I wouldn't be here that often anyway. Before making the move i had applied for a nannying job in town, single father with 3 kids, he called me within the hour to have a phone interview that lasted over an hour. 20 minutes after the call he offered me the job. He was either impressed or desperate, i hadn't worked that out yet!

I dragged my suitcases upstairs and chose a bedroom, i unpacked the suitcases hanging up clothes in the wardrobe. Found some clean sheets and changed the bedsheets before turning in for the night. I had to be at the Barnes residence at 7:30am tomorrow to meet them all in person.

Dressed in blue jeans and purple cable knit sweater i headed to the car and made my way to the Barnes residence.

Pulling up in the 3 car garage as directed i sat leaning forward so i could take in the size of the place! It was huge! Clearly the man made ALOT of money!!

"Well shit" i quietly mumbled to myself grabbing my purse from the passenger seat and making my way up to the front door. The door opened before i even reached it and a young blonde woman opened the door with a tight smile.

"You must be Y/N"

"Yeah, thats me. Hi" i replied giving her a polite smile.

"Im Chloe, Mr Barnes's assistant. He is just finishing up a call, he asked me to show you in"

"Great"

I followed Chloe through the huge house into the living room, i couldn't help but worry about getting lost in here!

"Just wait here he wont be long" Chloe said before turning and making a quick getaway. I sat on the edge of the sofa, knee shaking nervously as i looked around the room, the place was spotless considering three kids lived here.

"Im so sorry Miss Y/L/N, unexpected early morning problems to deal with" a deep voice suddenly said from behind making me stand up to turn and great my new employer.

When i saw him i felt my breath catch in my throat, the man was beautiful! ....i was NOT expecting that at all! 

"Its not a problem Mr Barnes" i smiled trying to ignore the fact he was the prettiest man id ever seen in my life!!

"Please have a seat"

"Thank you"

"Its nice to finally put a face to the name" he smiled looking a little surprised himself, maybe he was expecting an older woman??

"Yeah it sure is, i have to admit your a lot younger than i thought you'd be"

"I get that alot, we started young" he chuckled taking a seat on the sofa across from me "so how did the move go?"

"It was fine, i got in yesterday. Still gotta make it feel like home you know"

"I get that" he nodded looking around the room "i've lived here for 3 years and still doesn't feel like a home. As i said i work alot, i havent had time to do much with the place"

"Its a beautiful home Mr Barnes"

"Please call me James, Mr Barnes is so formal"

"Okay sure, in that case you have to call me Y/N" i smiled "so where are the kids? Its very quiet in here considering you have three young ones"

"Oh it wont stay like that for long, trust me! They stayed at their Uncle Steve's last night while i got the house cleaned. Couldn't have you turning up to messy house on your first day, you would have run a mile"

"I dont mind a bit of mess, its kinda expected when kids are involved anyway" i shrugged.

"I guess its inevitable" he smiled running his hand over his stubbled jaw "So, the hours i need you will vary depending on my work load. Some days i'll be home early and you can head home, others i may get held up and need you to stay"

"Yeah thats fine, im flexible with hours anyway" i nodded "being new to town i dont have any commitments, i'll welcome the distraction to be honest"

"No family or friends in town?"

"Nope, its just me. My aunt left me the farm house when she passed away a few months ago.... i had every intention of selling the place but..... well things changed and i decided a fresh start would be best"

"Well if you ever need anything dont hesitate to ask me"

"Thank you Mr Barnes.... sorry, i mean James" i felt myself blush slightly but he just smiled at me.

"I'll get a room set up for you here too, i dont expect you stay late then drive home. Id feel much better if you would just stay over when that happens"

"Okay, that sounds practical"

"I want you to feel comfortable with us, you will become a big part of our lives. I mean I'm trusting you with the most important things in my life"

"Im sure we'll get along great, and you dont have to worry. I will treat them like they were my own, they will be perfectly safe with me i promise you"

"BUCK WE'RE HOME!" A voice called suddenly followed by the sounds of running and laughing.

"Incoming" He stood up chuckling raising his eyebrows, the door burst open and two girls came busting through the door and dived at him. James scooped up both girls planted kisses on their faces making them giggle.

"How are my girls?"

"We good daddy, uncle Stevie gave us chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast!" The smaller of the two said happily.

"He did?? Did you save me some?"

"Dont be silly daddy"

"Who are you?" The eldest of the two asked me suddenly looking suspicious.

"Im Y/N"

"You daddy's girlfriend?"

"No sweetheart, this is Y/N. She's going to be looking after you while im at work"

"No more Mrs Fisher???"

"Nope"

"YES!! she was mean!.... your not mean are you?"

"I dont think so" i laughed finding it amusing.

"Y/N's not mean at all! I think you guys are gonna get along just fine" James said smiling.

"Hey Buck" a tall blonde man appeared in the doorway with a toddler in his arms.

"Hey Steve, this is Y/N. Our new nanny"

Steve's eyebrows shot up quickly, he looked at James then over to me before smiling.

"Hi, nice to meet you" he held out his free hand for me to shake.

"You too, you must be uncle Steve"

"Guilty" he smiled before passing the baby over to James.

"Okay, so i guess i should introduce you to the kids".

A/N: I will add a ‘keep reading’ later, i still cant do it on mobile!! 🤬

[magicflowershop]

one day kitty; Yamaguchi version

《inspired by movie A Whisker Away》

✿✿ you wished to be with the person you like and wish granted. whiskers, button nose, tail, four legs and ears on top of the head; you turned into a cat. with this, you are given the opportunity to be with the person you want to express your affections to. but as a cat. and only in one day.

― haikyuu characters x cat!reader imagines!

❀ masterlist ❀

the wheel of names have spoken.

long story short, you knew Yamaguchi and liked him for the longest time,,, not to mention it kinda annoyed you that Tsukishima was there by his side too and kinda knows you have a crush on Yams but we’ll get to that 

you’ve been living in the same neighborhood as Yams and you just liked how he’s such a sweet guy and smiles as if everything was alright

he made you feel like you wanted to protect him kinda guy yk

:)

so,,, uh did i mention you’re a cat now? no?

nyways you’re a cat now 

for some damn reason

the last thing you remember the previous night there’s this fortune teller you went to and that you mentioned to said fortune teller you wanted to get even closer to your crush on some way possible

and you remember clearly how the fortune teller grinned at you and say

“i can make that thing some way possible”

creepy ass-

and then you woke up as a cat right next to Yamaguchi’s house

talk about convenience

you were right by their gate when Yamaguchi walked out the door, ready for school,,, instinctively you pretended to sleep out there like a lonely cold cat that’s been abandoned yk just to get his attention like that

“why is there a cat here?”

said in a very disgusted voice by Yamaguchi’s childhood friend, Tchkishima ‘Kay

Yamaguchi was just as confused bc there’s never been a cat that looked like you in their neighborhood before and he wondered if you were somebody’s pet that ran off

so Yams bein the sweetheart he is,, picked you up,, took you in his arms

and placed you in a nearby bush with all the other cats

because the cat were on the streets all defenseless like that, he was worried that it might get hit by a car or sumthin ykyk aw

so the boys left you there

gettin screeched at by the cats

bc you werent a normal cat lmao

and so you went on to your journey of ✨ stalking Yams ✨

and Tsukki gettin weirded at by you bc you were stalkin em ✨ but Yams is the star here ignore Tsukki :>

stalkin ain’t an easy job honey baby no sir no ma’am,, especially since you literally have to climb a tree just to see through the window of his classroom since animals aren’t allowed inside the school premises

you cant even sneak past the hall monitors

but thank goodness they had breaks and the boys go outside to go to the gym and practice

nyways knowin full well that you are a cat and that cats are created cute

sis mhmm did you use that advantage

except Yams is just

yk

not noticing you

lmfao

and to add to your dismay, Tsukishima’s even laughin at you 

a monster

see, Yams is just too tall and kinda too absorbed on his jump float serves that he barely turns elsewhere,, you kinda wished you were the ball

but what can you do when your crush was as much as a volleyball addict as the rest of his team,, so you try and get his attention with a different approach ;)

you annoy the hell outta Tsukishima

and when i say the hell outta him i meant the hell outta him

bc what you’ve gathered from earlier, it seemed that you were pretty blatant about your affections towards Yamaguchi that he caught onto it and even had the audacity of laughing at you :>

so you’re beautiful big brain plan was to make Tsukishima notice you, make him annoyed by you that’ll make Yams worry what’s wrong

it was a stupid yet effective idea

so literally you stared at Tsukishima all through practice, and he just tried to ignore whatever it was you were doing and you heard him whisper to Yams 

“that cat kinda reminds me of someone”

“who?”

“y/n”

“wdym?”

“annoying”

“gasp y/n isn’t annoying”

so yes your heart was leAPING IN JOY just from knowin Yams standing up for you from Tsukki of all people and dont find you annoying in human form,,, after all those times you insisted to go home with them lmao 

he doesnt find you annoying

like wow

well anywho

your craziness dont end there bc you havent had Yams to notice you yet, and after classes practice have already ended

so you let Tsukishima free from his sins and decided to proceed thy actions in,,,,, wait for it

Yamaguchi’s home

bc you nasty

bc you wanted to spend the rest of the night wif him and staying in home would be boring ykyk

but you did know you should be careful of not accidentally transforming back to human in front of him

so you took the time and waited until you thought he was already in his sleeping clothes bc common you aren’t a perv right? right

until you peeked through his window all shy and whatnot,,, to see him passed out on his bed

….

you waited more than an hour for this

your simpin ass was disappointed

but you ofc was never runnin out of bogus ideas, so you tried to act like a regular stupid cat and started tapping your lil paw beans on his window as loudly as you could,,, you could’ve started clawing his window cause thats louder but you wouldn’t damage his property common

Yamaguchi’s sensitive ass heard this and was snapped awake, a drool wavin to say hello, to see a little damn cat making a ruckus 

he opened the window and let you in 

and you gave the littlest softest meow you could manifest from ur being

Yams lit thought you were purring from the cold lmao but that doesn’t matter bc he let you in his room thank god we have progress now

he wrapped you around with a towel to keep you warm and held you close, askin you where your family was or if you were abandoned,,, yes heaven never felt this good

he was about to fall asleep when you notice it was already 11.45pm oh no

15 mins left you turn back to normal

you checked up on him to see if he asleep so you could leave his room without saying anything,, ofc you didn’t want him to see you in your sorry state as a whole simp ofc not

good thing his window stayed open,, you left without saying a word as if what you did was a one night stand and ran away 

you ran all the way back to your house as fast as you could with your tiny stealthy body but you didn’t even realize you were running mindlessly and that you got lost

oh no what the hell are you doing you’re wasting time dude

less than 8 minutes you’re turning back and somebody might see you

you retraced your steps, trying to go somewhere you recognize and spend the night there hiding from anyone’s sight,,, it was okay to spend the night somewhere bc you’ll wake up back in your house in your body as if nothing happened

yes as if nothing happened

“watch out!”

you were yanked and dragged out of the way by a person’s body,, a boy’s body to be exact and when you looked up, a pair of green and stunned eyes met yours

“… y/n?”

you were done for

it seemed that you almost got hit by a car mid-transformation and Tadashi was in time to save you as he found you idling about in front of his house

so you got back in time

you stared at him completely in shock as he was talking to the person who drove the car and apologizing,, while still holding you close you thanked every god you were still wearin clothes

“well take care that fella over there”

the driver went back inside his car after checking if you both were alright

“i will!”

sis i-

Yamaguchi then turned to you this time and with a stern expression says

“i’ll ask mom to let you spend the night, but other than that you have some explaining to do ma’am”

stay tuned for more! :>

[bucksbisexual]

got a secret, can you keep it?

also on ao3

Summary: Tine and Sarawat kiss and their friends didn’t know they could do that.

Words: 2164

Tags: #there’s alcohol involved, #(dw the kissing is consensual), #tine is Not the panicked gay, #hes not even the disaster bisexual, #post ep7, #there’s a moment from a clip of ep9 teaser, #i couldn’t resist sOrry, #not a spoiler tho i havent read the novel, #kisses !!, #soft!!!!

You know, it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise to Tine. He, for starters, was really bad at drinking, and to add to that, Sarawat looked really, really hot. So, when Sarawat openly flirted with him with his face that close, Tine couldn’t stop his drunk self from kissing him in front of everyone.

Which wouldn’t have minded either of them if they were, you know, out as a couple.

Now, I know what you think, these two have been flirting (although it was mostly Sarawat saying the cheesiest and most cringey things Man had at least used once and making Tine blush) for so long that everyone was getting suspicious of their relationship status, but ever since they started dating, they had decided to keep it secret to adapt to it before being out to everyone and having thousands of people judge them, and Tine in special. So, basically, it was kind of like taking care of a cat before being thrown to hungry tigers, and neither Tine or Sarawat wanted to be eaten alive, thank you very much.

It seemed logical at that moment. Sarawat had been openly flirting with Tine since the start of the year and no one would suspect anything if he kept it up, Tine could blame the blushing in his cheeks, his neck and his ears on the heat or the sun hitting too hard. All probable possibilities of slipping out had been thought of and talked about, they wanted to be serious and not have their relationship invaded by others.

The only one they overlooked was both of them being drunk which cost them, well, a drunk make-out session in front of every single one of their friends, who were, by the way, very shocked (on Tine’s side) and cheering them on (on Sarawat’s side).

The couple, completely unaware of their surroundings, separated to breathe. Tine wore a small smirk on his face and Sarawat found himself a little dumbfounded because holy shit, Tine was so hot.

“That-” Sarawat tried to say. No words other than hot, really hot and the hottest thing ever came to his head. Tine really outdid himself and made him the speechless one.

Tine kissed him one last time and smiled. “Yeah.”

If Sarawat was honest with himself, if he really wanted to, he knew he could spend every second of his life kissing Tine’s lips and never get tired of them. But he needed oxygen and he definitely a drink to calm himself.

Although, when he turned his head to get his drink and drown it, he didn’t expect to see his friends and Tine’s friends looking at them with a face that very clearly had “What just happened here?” written on it.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh shit.

Sarawat turned his head towards Tine, who somehow was still unaware of the stares of both of their friends and was looking at him like he wanted to keep doing what they were doing minutes before for the whole night, and if Sarawat didn’t physically feel his friends trying to unlock his brain to get the answer with their eyes burning on the back of his head, he would’ve definitely complied and spend their whole stay on that bar kissing the life out of him.

But, as of that moment, Sarawat was panicking, and even a drunk Tine could notice something was wrong because he frowned at him. Look at your right. Sarawat said with his eyes, trying to point at their friends. Tine’s frown deepened. Sarawat slightly moved his head towards the direction where their friends were looking at them, still waiting for an explanation. Tine, still frowning, followed his head and saw his friends.

What was so shocking about their friends? Yes, they had started to hang out together more ever since a very sober Sarawat kissed him and they both confessed to each other that night but they didn’t know-

Oh.

Oh.

Oh shit.

Tine’s eyes grew comically bigger and turned his head to Sarawat, who was already looking at him with the same expression. Tine was suddenly sober and felt his ears and cheeks get even redder. Sarawat would’ve caressed his cheeks (and maybe even kissed them) if their friends weren’t watching, but they very obviously were, and seeing how the couple didn’t say a word, they had decided to start asking questions.

“So,” Man started, getting the attention of everyone on the table. “Since when have you two been together?”

Tine and Sarawat looked at each other. Who should start answering? Tine asked with his eyes, which Sarawat answered with You start, I can’t barely form a single sentence right now without needing a break. Tine looked like he got the gist of it.

Tine cleared his throat. “Two weeks ago.” His voice barely reaching Ohm, who was sitting furthest from him.

“What? Did the cat get your tongue? Or was it Sarawat?” Ohm teased and everyone in the table laughed. Tine’s blush now reached his chest and he cleared his throat again.

“Two weeks. It’s been two weeks. I asked Sarawat,” at that, both Boss and Man looked surprised at Sarawat and it was Sarawat’s turn to feel hot rising to his cheeks. “and I kissed him afterwards. Just like they say, third time’s the chance.” Tine couldn’t stop the smile that came to his face, that was one of his proudest moments and Sarawat’s reaction had been the cutest.

“Wait,” Peuk said. “Third? What about the first and the second? Why is this the first time I hear about a kiss?” Ohm and Fong agreed with him.

“They kissed at Tine’s while Sarawat was drunk, that’s definitely the first!” Boss half-yelled at them and Sarawat could feel the stares of Tine’s friends on him. Sarawat understood, he wasn’t particularly proud of their first kiss since he couldn’t remember how Tine’s lips felt the next morning.

“And the second?” Fong asked Boss and Man, who looked like they knew more than them.

Boss and Man looked at each other with a I have no idea face and facing the couple, Boss said “I have absolutely no idea.”

Everyone in the table turned to them and Sarawat took a sip of his drink. He was about to answer when Tine started to speak.

Looking at his friends, Tine said “You guys remember when I was really sad and weird for, like, three days, right?” Ohm, Fong and Peuk nodded.

“Oh, so you were all depressed because of Sarawat?” Ohm interrupted. Peuk hit his head.

Tine blushed, “You could say so. Sarawat told me he was the same, as you guys probably noticed,” he said, now looking at Man and Boss.

“Well, he was more mopey and angry than usual-” Sarawat hit Man’s head. “Shut up.”

“Before those three days started, Green came into my apartment and told me the truth about him having a boyfriend and-” I have no problem with that but Green kind of does. Tine remembered P'Dim’s words and stopped himself. He took a deep breath. “Well, the day after that, I told Sarawat that now that Green was out of the picture that we, uh, could stop the fake flirting. Which then lead to those, uh, bad days.”

Tine felt Sarawat’s hand on his thigh and slightly smiled at him. “That we all know, now tell us the interesting part.” Boss expressed and everyone voiced their agreement.

Sarawat rolled his eyes and Tine took a sip of his drink, this is going to be embarrassing to explain.

“I saw Sarawat’s post and I decided to go to his house to talk, but then I found Man,” Man nodded when they all looked at him, “and he told me the story behind the photo and told me that Wat liked me since last year’s Scrubb concert.” A tiny smile appeared on Tine’s lips as he heard his friends teasing him for using Wat. “He also told me where Wat was so I went to where he told. On the way there I found P'Mil,” Tine felt Sarawat’s grip on his thigh tighten and he put his hand over Sarawat’s. “And he touched my head for some reason, which made me really uncomfortable and I don’t know what could’ve happened if Wat hadn’t appeared.” Tine’s friends looked at him with a hint of worry in their eyes but Tine smiled at them, hoping it would reassure them that he was okay. “Anyways, Wat and I got into a bit of an argument and to, uh, shut me up, he, um, kissed me.”

“Now, that’s the Wat I know!” Man exclaimed as he patted Sarawat’s shoulder, the smile in Sarawat’s lips nothing but smug. Tine couldn’t help but blush again when his friends whistled.

“That’s the second kiss then?” Ohm asked.

Tine nodded, “Pretty much.”

“Nothing else happened?” Ohm insisted.

“We talked about our feelings after the kiss, if that’s what you’re asking,” Sarawat added.

Boss boo'ed, “You guys are no fun, you should’ve kept kissing and had sex somewhere.”

Tine choked on air. Sarawat patted his back, and if Tine wasn’t literally choking, he would’ve told him that he had to pat his chest, not his back, saraleo.

When he stopped coughing, Sarawat gave him his drink and while Tine breathed normally, he took the turn to talk. “I wished I could’ve kissing him more but it was all that was needed in that moment,” Sarawat smiled.

“Tine, my friend, you turned Wat into a whole sap.” Man commented and everyone on the table laughed.

“Wait, I have another question,” Fong said and the couple looked at him, already expecting the topic of the question.

“Is it about the third kiss?” Tine asked.

Fong nodded. “It happened two weeks ago, at my apartment.” Sarawat answered.

“No more details?” Boss asked, obviously disappointed at the lack of information.

Sarawat sighed, “I asked Tine to stay over because it was late and since Phukong wasn’t staying that night, I told him he could sleep on my bed-” Man opened his mouth to say something but Sarawat glared at him and he closed it, “but he preferred the sofa. So when I thought he was asleep, I went to lie down with him and sleep with him, but he was wide awake. He let me lie down with him and after a few minutes, he asked me the question and when I said yes, he kissed me.”

He said it with such a calm voice that the blush on his face and chest looked out of place. Tine knew why Sarawat had decided to change and omit some parts of the story, those were for them only, so when their friends looked at him, he nodded with a smile on his face.

“Interesting… Well, now that we know about that, it’s time to ask Tine something,” Man looked at Tine and Tine got nervous.

Sarawat felt Tine tense and intervened. “What is it?”

“Wat, it’s okay,” Tine mumbled.

“So we all know that Wat likes you since that Scrubb concert last year, but since when do you like him?” All their friends voiced their wonder.

Tine thought about it for a few seconds. “I can’t really pinpoint it, but I remember that the first kiss made me feel a type of way that was really similar to the feeling I got when I kissed someone I had dated before. I guess it wasn’t until I spent days without any contact with Wat that I felt somehow heartbroken and understood that my feelings weren’t a seeing a dude and thinking he was hot or handsome, even if that’s not the case here, but more of a I want to kiss and date that dude.”

“Has it ever happened before?” Peuk couldn’t stop himself from asking.

Tine shaked his head. “Never with a man and never like this. It’s weird, so many feelings and so extreme, but it feels nice.” Sarawat looked at Tine and smiled. He was happy to be Tine’s first (and hopefully last) boyfriend.

“I don’t have any more questions,” Ohm confessed and everyone agreed.

Man poured the rest of his beer onto his cup. “Well, I say we cheer for the new couple. Who’s with me?” He raised the glass.

A chorus of “Me!” and empty beer bottles accompanied it.

Sarawat filled both Tine and his’ cups and they both raised them.

“Cheers!” Boss yelled and started to clink everyone’s glasses.

“Cheers!” All their friends followed just as loud (and maybe even louder).

“Cheers to us,” Sarawat told Tine, with such softness in his smile and happiness in his eyes that, on that moment, Tine swore to himself he would always try to make him at least half as happy.

“Cheers to us,” Tine told Sarawat, with such fondness in his smile and cheerfulness in his eyes that, on that moment, Sarawat swore to himself he would protect him until the very end of the world.

[authorofdanger]

Miroh

Genre: angst with slight fluff

Skz zombie apocalypse au

Not much warning really

It's pretty short but I got bored

🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️

The storm finally calmed after nearly an entire day of harsh rain and strong winds. Sitting up on a high branch in the first climb able tree I could find I hung my bag and bow on the branch while ringing my shirt out. With the temperature being basically below freezing and having no dry winter clothes or jacket I knew shelter was a must unless I wanted to go through hypothermia.

My body shook violently as another breeze hit my arms and I determined it was time to look for the closest town. Taking a careful glance around me I couldnt see another moving object in sight so I grabbed my few items and leaped out of the tree, bow and arrow at the ready.

Walking through the woods has been scary enough as it is recently with the limited food supply and starving walkers that have been found in hoards but nothing adds fuel to the fear more than being completely alone. I kept my steps as silent as I could and listened to the best of my abilities but in the end I could only hear the thumping of my rapid heartbeat that never seems to calm these days. I use to be able to ignore it when I was with a group but being alone you tend to notice more about ok but yourself compared to when you are with loved ones.

****Four months earlier****

"Y/N you breathe any louder and the walkers will here you," Minho joked as we crept through the abandoned town. Playfully hitting his arm I tried even harder to control my breaths so he could move his jokes onto one of the others. "Unless they hear your blabbing first," Seungmin hushed, "seriously Minho were we not just attacked by a group not even a couple of minutes ago? Let her catch her breath. We all know she is a terrible runner." Rolling my eyes there wasn't much room for arguments. The boys were athletic and strong, only keeping me around for my ability to provide medical care and my shocking ability to hunt. I've tried teaching them for weeks but only successfully having Jeongin shoot a dose after using five arrows and chasing after it.

"Hey it could be worse. We could have Jisung not being tired." Jisung faked a hurt expression with his jaw dropped and a hand slapped to his chest but you could see from the bags under his eyes that if we were to take a small break in one of these buildings he would collapse from exhaustion. "Last I checked I kept watch while I let you guys sleep. I did all of you a favor," he gasped. Placing a soft kiss to his cheek I slightly chuckled at the tiny his face turned and how large the smile on his face turned. "Me too," Jeongin whined while pulling at my arm. Giving him two on his uninjured cheek he seemed satisfied with his reward. I was just happy he was talking again.

He once didnt say a single word for nearly two months due to the trauma of us losing our best friend after we found his family who was going a different way then we were. They claimed to know of a society going west but we were heading east for one we knew of. It was a no brainer he would go with his family and we couldnt be happier for him but we miss him terribly. It took me saving his life and nearly getting bitten for him to find his voice again.

"You are such a baby," Seungmin groaned but apologized once he caught a glimpse of my warning glare. "Last I remembered I beat the shit out of Jisung when he called him a baby. Dont think I wont do the same to you." The boy is an adult now and I refuse to allow the others to treat him as less. "She's stronger then she looks man," Jisung added as he grabbed his wrist, "I thought she broke something!"

"Guys listen," Minho interrupted, "do you hear that? It's called silence and I prefer ot over your bickering." Before I could open my mouth Jeongin grabbed hold of my hand and mouthed a "thank you" while we continued to walk. Security wasn't a feeling we felt but there was a sense of it when we were together. We had eachother.

*****

Taking in a deep breath I had to force myself to think of other things to prevent myself from crying again. After being separated by an attack from a hoard I have been struggling to stay alive, wondering if it was really worth it.

****Three months ago****

I desperately rushed through the city to find the others. Being separated was bad enough but not knowing if they were okay only added to the anxiety. There were bodies and gunshot holes everywhere but no sign of my friends. Losing hope I slowed my pace to a speed walk but kept my eyes shooting everywhere. Then I saw it, Jeongin's bandanna that I used to wrap his ankle after a nasty gash. He never removes it, leaving that for me to do when I wanted to check his wound for infection. I knew it was his when I saw the my fading initials in the corner of the red fabric.

I couldnt stop the tears that rolled down my face with the knowledge that something terrible had to have happened. Tying it around my wrist I spent hours circling the area but when all I found was his bandanna and a few broken arrows from his crossbow I knew one of three things could have happened. They escaped, they got turned, or they got devoured. My heart shattered and all hope was lost. I was alone and I was afraid.

****

Tightening the filthy bandanna around my wrist I took a few more glances around before I spotted glimpses of buildings just a few miles north. Maybe there is food, hopefully there is because I havent had a meal in days and it's taking a toll on my health. With the constant hunger and running I have become extremely thin and weak but just strong enough to keep moving.

The town was in ruins but the market had a few canned items left. I also was able to find more arrows in a hunting shop and medicine in the local pharmacy. "This should hold me off for a couple of days," I whispered to myself before climbing up to the top of a diner's rooftop to look for walkers.

"This place gets worse each time we come," a voice said in the distance. "Shut up and look for some food. I think we havent scoped out that store all the way since we were attacked last round," another ordered after an echoing smack filled my ears and a pain filled wince. "You hit too hard Hyung!" Fear filled my veins. Last time I ran into other survivors they nearly killed me with a gunshot to my shoulder. I still have a hard time moving it since I never got medical attention and it only happened less than a week after losing my friends.

"Any signs of walkers," another voice asked, "I'm not risking us being separated with a sign of danger." I held tightly to my bow and prepared an arrow before deciding to move backwards to try and escaped unseen. "Nope. I think we are fine," a familiar voice groaned, "now can we hurry so we can go back. It's cold out here!" "Minho," I muttered to myself. Crawling to the ledge I carefully peered over to catch a glimpse of the group below. There were three boys I had never seen before but my heart was bound to explode when two familiar faded hair colors caught my eye. With black roots I could see the beyond faded green hair and another faded red. Seungmin and Minho? They're alive!

"What's that," one of the boys growled after spotting me, "guns at the ready!" "Fuck," I muttered before quickly trying to escape. They're alive! Are the others? I didnt have time to think as gunshots filled my ears. "Is it a walker?" "Its too fast to be a walker!" Picking up the pace I felt my lungs burning but kept going after a bullet barely passed my ear. "Stop your fire! It's not a Walker!" I hid behind a dumpster before my legs could give out and tried to keep my jagged breathing quiet. 'Breathe any louder and the walkers will hear you,' Minho's joke replayed in my mind. Even if it was them chasing after me they arent alone and are not afraid to kill me on the spot. I was in serious danger.

Hearing footsteps I stopped breathing all together and listened carefully as multiple footsteps crept past me. "It looked like a girl," Minho whispered. "Minho did you see what she was carrying," Seungmin asked, "she had a bow. It was silver." Many people we have come across had bows of all kinds of colors but rarely did we see a shining silver one like mine since my father handmade mine before the outbreak as a birthday gift. I never got the chance to thank him after the outbreak began due to him getting infected.

"Y/N," Minho called out. "What are you doing," one scolded, "she could be dangerous!" Damn straight I am dangerous. "Dangerous? Y/N is as dangerous as a housefly. She is just a nuisance," Seungmin scoffed. Rolling my eyes I knew if the situation was different I would have slapped him by now. I could see the men from a small crack just behind me but it was hidden enough to where it would be hard for them to see me. Prepping my bow and silently sitting up I had it aimed just a few inches away from them just in case I needed to scare them. "She is as scary as Jeongin. They are both a couple of babbling babies," he added. I then released my arrow, it landing in the fence right next to the faded pink haired boy. "Holy shit," he yelled in a deep Australian accent making me internally laugh but hood it in to not be found. "Definitely Y/N," Minho and Seungmin said in sync.

"Look man we arent going to shoot but dont threaten my men," the faded blonde yelled, "now come out where we can see you." "Drop your weapons. You can take me down without them anyways," I called trying to sound as strong as I humanly could. Slowly each of them lowered their guns and held their hands up to show they were unarmed. I hesitantly crawled out of my spot and made direct eye contact with the two of my four boys. "You're alive," Minho gasped before racing to me and engulfing me in a tight embrace with Seungmin joining on the other side of me. "Shoulder," I winced, "watch the shoulder."

They both immediately pulled away and gazed at my body. Soaked and filthy with blood and dirt I looked as horrible as I felt even with the rain washing some of the grime off of me. "We thought the walkers got you," Seungmin stammered as tears rimmed his eyes, "we didnt even have time to look for you. The boys found us but said they never saw you while searching the place." "I looked for you guys for days. I didnt leave the city until I was nearly attacked again! I was alone for since then thinking you all were," I couldnt even finish after my voice cracked. I placed my head onto Minho's chest and allowed him to rub my back soothingly. "We need to go," the blonde ordered, "I hear walkers."

****

The ride to their base took around half an hour in their safari looking vehicles but looking at the multiple fences let me see just how secure they were. They seemed to reside in an altered town with handmade wooden fences that had to be atleast twenty feet tall that must have taken months to make. "I know it's not the best looking place but its safe," the pink haired boy sighed as we pulled in but I shook my head and gave him a shy smile. "Its better than a simple tree."

As we pulled in there were around fifty people waiting around the parking lot to see if all of their men made it back. In the distance I could see Jeongin and Jisung waiting patiently by a tall and clean building that had to have importance to the people who resided here. Minho helped me out of the vehicle and held his arm around my waist as we walked past the crowd with Seungmin hot on out trail. "Y/N," Jeongin cried once we got into eyesight, "oh my god!" Trampling me to the ground I could only cry as he pampered my face with kisses and tears as he repeated over and over "I'm so sorry!"

"Innie! Innie stop it's okay! I'm here! You're crushing me!" Slowly prying himself off me me Jisung helped me get up and then yanked me into him, body shaking as he tried to be gentle. "How did you survive? Oh my god I'm so sorry," he mumbled into my shoulder. Jisung and Jeongin were always more likely to show emotion so their shaking and crying didnt phase me just as Minho and Seungmin tried holding composure. Running my hand though his quickly fading brown hair I tried soothing him while also bringing comfort to myself. They're alive, they are okay, and we are all together now.

"So who is she again," the pink haired boy from earlier asked as four men approached us. "This is Y/N. She is the girl you were supposed to find when you found us," Minho said with a hint of harshness in his tone. They had to be angry. They were lied to and they knew it, I knew it. Nobody came to look for me that day and I was right where we got separated from! "There arent enough apologies I could provide," the familiar blonde sighed while running a hand through his locks, "but what matters is she is here now right?" "This is Chan, Felix, Changbin, and Hyunjin. The eight of us run this place but Chan is the big man," Jisung explained as he fully let me go.

"You talked about your shoulder," Hyunjin asked, "can I take a look at it in the clinic?" Nodding my head I followed behind him with Jeongin glued to my side as we entered the tall building from earlier.

****

"It looks pretty nasty but I think it will be fine since I cleaned it. We're going to keep an eye on it for the next week or so alright," Hyunjin asked after the last stitch. "Thank you. I could only do so much with a travel first aide kit from a drugstore." Jeongin kept a firm grip on my hand as his friend left the room, leaving us in total silence. "You've been alone this whole time? In the woods? Injured," he asked lowly. "I'm okay now," I encouraged while ruffling his almost white locks with a soft pink hue. "Still havent found dye huh?" He shook his head and mumbled "not worried about it anymore. Too busy around here."

His eyes were full of emotions but I could see so many questions filling his mind that he was pondering if he should ask. "You know to help us feel better we would come up with ways you were alright? Jisung tried making the theory that you found Woojin and stayed with him." Giving him a soft smile I tried to change the subject to clear his mind. "Do you like it here? The boys seem nice." "They baby me. Alot."

I immediately got frustrated but fought to contain it. Have the boys not realized he isnt a baby? Even after I beat the shit out of Jisung? "But Chan has been teaching me how to lead. He told me if anything happens he wants me to take over Miroh. It's pretty cool but kinda scary." My body relaxed at this, so the babying wasn't so bad that he wasn't given respect. It's a big job to lead and he is being trained to do it!

"I'm so proud of you. I know you can do it." "I can now that you're here. Y/N?" I let out a soft hum, listening to everything he had to say, "you know we are staying here right?" "As long as I'm with you boys I dont care where we are. I'm never losing you again." "Well then welcome to Miroh."

[fanfics4all]

Seeing The Past

Request: Yes / No Heyo! If it’s not too much trouble (which is fine if you’re busy!), can I get a 15, and 33 with Rick Grimes? Thank you! @arthur-morgans-sweetheart

Request are closed <3 Have a nice day/night

Rick Grimes x Rhee!Reader

Word count:  1926

Warnings: Glenn’s death  

Y/N: Your Name

Y/N/N: Your Nickname

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK!

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Masterlist

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

Who knew the end of the world would happen this way? Dead people roaming the earth… People seeing their loved ones as rotting corpse walking around or lying dead on the ground. It was a depressing world, but my brother helped me keep surviving. Glenn Rhee was the one person I was living for still. We may not be related by blood, but he was my older brother (By only a year, but he acted like I was way younger.). I was adopted by his parents before the world went to shit. He was always protective of me and when the dead started walking, he was even more protective. I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere outside of where we were staying without him. He knew I could handle myself, but he didn’t want to take any risks. When our group found Alexandria, Glenn was so happy. He thought we were finally in a safe place and so did I. Glenn, Maggie, and I had our own house with running water and everything! It was amazing that a place like this still existed! It almost felt normal… That was until someone named Negan came into the picture…

Glenn went with some of our people to take care of the Saviors and Negan. I was told to stay back. Glenn and I fought and he ended up winning. Before they left I ran to the gate.

“Glenn!” I called to my brother and he turned around.

“‘I told you you’re staying here!” He said with a slight glare.

“I know, I am. I just wanted to say I love you and you better come back to me in one piece.” I said with a worried tone. His face softened and pulled me in for a hug.

“Y/N/N, don’t worry. We’ll be back before you know it.” He said smiling down at me.

“Please be careful…” I said and he nodded.

“I love you squirt.” He said ruffling my hair. Then I watched them leave and the gate close.

It was a week when the group came back. I watched the gate open and everyone walk in. I ran up to them and looked for Glenn. I didn’t see him. I didn’t see Maggie. I didn’t see Abraham. I didn’t see shasha. I didn’t see Daryl. I looked at what was left of the group confused and worried.

“W-Where’s Glenn?” I asked. Everyone looked at me sadly and the looked at Rick.

“Y/N-”

“Where is my brother?” I asked louder and more worried.

“I’m sorry…” Rick said and my eyes glossed over.

“No… No! He can’t be dead! What did you do!?” I shouted at him.

“Hey, it wasn’t his fault.” Carl said.

“Like hell it wasn’t! It was his idea to go after them in the first place!” I shouted with tears falling down my face.

“I’m sorry Y/N…” He said shaking his head.

“How did he die?” I asked looking at the ground, watching my tears hit the dark ground.

“You don’t want to know.” He said.

“That’s not your decision to make! How did my brother die?” I asked glaring at him through tear filled eyes.

“Negan. We didn’t kill them all… Negan killed him.” He answered.

“How?” I asked not accepting that as the answer.

“You don’t need to know that…” He said.

“Tell. Me. How. My. Brother. Died.” I said determined to know.

“He bashed his head in… there was blood all over the ground…” Rick said and I let out a cry.

“W-where’s his b-body?” I cried.

“Maggie took it with her to Hilltop. Her and Sasha.” He answered.

“This is your fault.” I said and ran into my house.

That happened months ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday…  My brother was dead. The one person that I was surviving for is dead. The rest of the group had been keeping their eyes on me because they thought I was a danger to myself. They weren’t wrong. I was a danger to myself, that’s why they took all my weapons from me. I could hear my brother’s voice every day and it was driving me crazy. He would tell me how this isn’t how mom and dad would want me to act. How he was worried about me. How I should leave my room. How I shouldn’t have hurt myself. How I should be living my life like he taught me. How I should be surviving…

“Hey Y/N?” The voice of the man I never wanted to see again rang through my room. I didn’t answer and just kept staring at the wall.

“Are you okay?” He asked. Again, I ignored him. He sighed and I felt him sit next to me on my bed.

“Glenn wouldn’t want you living like this.” He said and I looked at him for the first time since he told me my brother was dead.

“Don’t you say his name.” I growled at him.

“Y/N, Glenn would want you to survive, to fight-”

“He’s dead because of you!” I shouted getting up.

“Negan killed him not-”

“You’re the reason he was out there in the first place! He only went because of you! You killed him!” I shouted crying once again.

“I’m sorry…” He sighed.

“Get out.” I said.

“Y/N please, just let me talk.” He said and I growled.

“Get the hell out of my house!” I shouted and threw a book at him. Rick got up and I heard him shut the front door. I sat back on my bed and hugged my knees crying.

“You need to forgive him.” I heard Glenn say.

“He killed you…” I said looking up at him.

“No Y/N/N, Negan killed me not Rick.” He said and I shook my head.

“You went because of Rick…” I cried.

“I went because of you. I wanted to keep you safe and I knew that would be the only way to do it.” He said and I stared at him.

“You died because of me then?” I asked crying more.

“No, I died because of Negan.” He said and I swear I could feel his arms around me.

“You need to forgive Rick.” He said.

“Only if you don’t leave me again…” I said.

“I’ll never leave you.” He said and again I swear I could feel him kiss my head like he always did.

A week after that Glenn kept telling me to forgive him. I figured Rick would come check up on my again, but he never did. My brother told me to leave the house and apologize and forgive him. So for the first time in months, I showered, got dressed in something other than just Glenn’s clothes, but I still wore his sweatshirt. I walked downstairs and grabbed the handle to the front door.

“Just open the door Sis.” He said and I took a deep breath.

“You’ll be there with me right?” I whispered. I thought I felt his hand on my shoulder.

“Always.” He said and I opened the door. The sunlight felt nice on my skin, I haven’t seen it in so long. I could feel everyone looking at me. I kept my head down and walked to the Grimes’ house. I knocked on the door and after a few minutes I looked up to see Carl answer.

“Y/N? You’re- You’re here…” He said shocked and I nodded my head.

“Um… is your dad home?” I asked and he nodded.

“Yeah, come on in.” He said moving to the side. I walked in and he called up to his dad. Rick walked down and looked at me shocked.

“Carl, why don’t you go check on Rosita.” Rick said to his son. Carl nodded then left the house.

“Is everything okay, Y/N?” He asked.

“Forgive him.” My brother’s voice said to me.

“I’m sorry I blamed you… Glenn wouldn’t blame you.” I said and he looked at me shocked once again.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t bring your brother back to you.” He said walking closer to me.

“It’s okay… I know he’s always with me.” I said and Rick pulled me into a hug. I looked behind him to see Glenn smiling at me.

After that day Rick was keeping me close to him. He was actually really sweet and caring. He actually asked me on a date, which I thought was weird seeing as it was the end of the world, but I accepted. It was surprisingly nice, he made dinner, we watched some movie he had in their house, and the night ended with a kiss. It was a pretty nice night, and I haven’t had one of those since Glenn died…

We got into a relationship and everyone was shocked to say the least. But when they saw my smile back they understood. They were happy to see me back to normal. Well to them I was normal, but my brother haunted me. I wasn’t even sure if it was his ghost or if he was something my mind made up to help me cope. Rick wanted me to move in with him and Carl after a few months, but I was scared to. I didn’t want him to know about Glenn…

“Glenn?” I asked when I didn’t see him with me.

“Glenn? Where are you?” I asked my eyes starting to water. There was no answer.

“Glenn please!” I called out and tears left my eyes.

“Glenn, Don’t die on me– Please.” I cried holding my knees to my chest.

“Shhh, I’m right here Y/N/N.” I heard him say and I looked up to see him smiling at me.

“Where were you? I thought you were gone again.” I said sobbing.

“I’m sorry, Sis, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He said.

“You can’t leave me like that! I can’t do this without you!” I said and he pulled me to him.

“Don’t worry little sis, I’m never leaving you.” He said.

“I love you Glenn.” I said.

“Y/N?” I heard Rick’s voice. I looked up and saw him looking concerned.

“Rick? What are you doing here?” I asked and looked my brother.

“Who are you talking to?” He asked looking around my room.

“N-No one…” I said.

“I heard you say your brother’s name. Do you see him?” He asked walking closer to me.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…” I said and glanced at my brother.

“Tell him.” Glenn said and I shook my head.

“No…” I whispered, but Rick heard.

“You are seeing him… How long?” He asked.

“I’m not seeing my-”

“Don’t lie to me.” He said sitting next to me on the bed.

“How long?” He asked.

“Since he died…” I said and he sighed.

“Y/N, he’s gone…” He said and I shook my head.

“No! He said he’d never leave me!” I cried and he pulled me to him.

“He’ll always be in your heart, but he’s not here Y/N.” He said and I shook my head.

“I can’t do it without him…” I said and he pulled my face up to look at him.

“You have me.” He said and looked into his eyes.

“I love you Y/N, and I’m going to do right by Glenn and protect you. Including protecting you from yourself.” He said then captured my lips in a kiss. It was sweet and mixed with the saltiness of my tears.

“Let me help you.” He said and I nodded.

“Okay…”

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @xrosesareredx @herokyolachan @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs @schisbro87 @lover-of-books-and-teas @nerdygaloresposts @alex--awesome--22 @teenwolfbitches2 @genius2050 @drw0301bieber @tigermillionaire-philanthropist @marveloverdcsstuff

[gwenore]

The Cursed Book. Chapter 4.

Chapter 4: Belle tries to figure out a safe way to date a demon. 

Summary: When Belle finds a strange book in an abandoned library she has no idea what hell it would unleash upon the small town.

Belle stood there absolutely stunned, blinking her eyes as she scratched her head gently.

“Uh… you don’t know how humans… date?” she finally asked, furrowing her brows slightly. The demon shrugged his shoulders.

“In my defense… it has been a while. Or… I haven’t really done it before… regardless, best you just tell me,” he made a hand movement.

“Uh… let me think,” Belle held her hands up as she held the sides of her head, doing her best to think of what was going to happen.

“So… you don’t know either? Well… this is going to be a bit more difficult,” the demon tapped his chin.

“Of course I know! It is… it is just… there has been a while since I have done something like that… and never with a demon,” she sighed.

“Oh… of course. Take all the time you need,” he said as he continued to sit still beside her, gently twiddling his fingers.

Belle was considering her options carefully.

This demon was dangerous… and he had an ability to twist his words, but… he also seemed to far to eager to please her. Which… could be dangerous as well…

“Alright… we have to start from the beginning…” she said slowly, the demon listening intently.

“A very good place to start as far as I have been told,” he leaned a bit closer to her, forcing her to lean back slightly.

“So…” she began slowly. “What is your name?”

The demon cocked his head.

“Now you have to give me a minute,” he held up a finger to her. Belle blinked surprised, before nodding carefully.

“You don’t… you don’t know your name?” she asked confused.

“Well… when you are locked in a book, you forget certain things… huh… I really cannot remember at all… which… I haven’t used it in a while so I guess it is natural… just… give me a bit more time…” he cocked his head.

Belle swallowed as she watched this creature trying his best to remember his own name… but seemed unable to do so.

It made her actually sad for him.

How tormented and isolated must he have been to have forgotten something as important as his name. But… he was so dangerous… and though she felt for him not remembering his name…

She had to figure a way to trap him again.

“RUMPLESTILTSKIN!”

Belle practically leapt off the couch with the demon’s outburst.

“Rumplestiltskin?” she asked confused.

“Yes… or… perhaps not. But it works… doesn’t it?” he glanced over at her, cocking his head slowly.

Belle… not certain if it was wise to insult this demon.

“Uh… yes, of course,” she managed to stutter out.

“Good,” the demon who had named himself Rumplestiltskin beamed happily, leaning against her again. “So… have you figured out how we should do this the human way?”

“Well… going out for a meal is good. A HUMAN meal,” she made certain to add that.

“A human meal sounds good… I mean… a bit less filling, but… I suppose that is fine,” the demon nodded his head.

“Good… good,” she added, breathing slowly.

“So… where should we go?” the demon cocked his head. “Paris… Rome… or do you fancy something more… exotic?”

Belle shook her head. Of course… she wanted to travel… it was her greatest dream to be able to travel… but… to take advantage of this demon’s powers… couldn’t that corrupt her? At least… the consequences would be dangerous.

And to leave the town in such a state…

“Uh… there is this restaurant downtown,” she was quick to continue. “It was always my favorite.”

The demon grinned, showing every one of his sharp teeth.

“I like the things that you call your favorites. I want to know all of them… hear you talk about them for hours,” he continued to nudge against her smiling happily.

“Uh…  I am sure we can arrange that…” after all listening to her speak… he cannot hurt anyone. Made her feel like Scheherazade in a way… just that should she fail… people would be eaten.

“Good I am looking forward to it. I will arrange everything. I will pick you up when everything is ready!”

Before Belle could protest, as she did not want to let this demon run off and do… something… he had vanished. She swallowed.

“Please do not eat someone… please do not eat someone… please do not eat someone,” she whispered softly to herself as she started to wander over to her bathroom. She needed a shower and try to clear her head.

  Belle felt strange as she was curling her hair in front of the mirror. It still felt insane that she was actually going on a date with a demon. However… she had no other choice. The consequences would be… dire.

“Just need time…” she whispered. She was also starving, having not been able to eat anything since she first was faced with this demon.

Dressing herself up in a nice little dress which she had bought a while back she wandered back into the living room.

“Just be calm… just be calm…” it was a bit worrying about how much she had started to speak to herself, but… the silence was worse.

After an undetermined time a knock was heard at the door, causing Belle to practically jump, before she rushed over and opened it.

There stood the demon with a big bouquet with all different flowers, offering it to her.

“I had a faint memory that flowers were a thing which you should do… but I had not asked you yet which flower that you like… so I got you all of them,” he almost seemed bashful as he looked down at them, giving them a gentle smile.

“Oh!” Belle exclaimed, it was actually a pleasant surprise for her. “I like them. I do.”

She took the flowers into her arms, stroking along the pedals of some of them. It was a bit of an eclectic mess… but… it was nice.

“Thank you,” she nodded towards him. “I should put them in some water.”

“You can if you want to… but… why?” the demon named Rumplestiltskin asked confused following a couple of steps behind her.

“To keep them alive longer,” she glanced back at him, confused that he did not know this as she grabbed a vase from the cabinet. Rumplestiltskin cocked his head again, letting out a slow hum.

“Well… you do not need to do that, they will not die,” he then said as she was filling it water.

“They will not…? How come?” she looked down at them. They seemed like perfectly normal flowers.

“I will not allow them too… if it would make you feel sad,” he seemed strangely proud about this. Belle felt her heart skip a bit, again looking down at the flowers, before he put the flowers into the vase still.

“Uh… Rumplestiltskin… what… CAN you do?” she looked over her shoulder, meeting those eyes which always seemed to have a faint glow in them.

Rumplestiltskin tapped his chin slowly as he thought.

“Several things…” he said slowly. “Most things I want. But… there is several things which I cannot… very many things.”

Belle blinked her eyes. He seemed… sad.

“Well… I suppose not even demons can do everything,” she said slowly. He let out a laugh.

“Not the type that allows themselves to be locked in books,” he stuck out his tongue out at her.

“Yeah… I suppose… but then again, you are the first demon that I have really… met,” she scratched the back of his head.

“Good. Again, staying away from demons is the smart thing to do,” Rumplestiltskin pointed towards her as to make certain she understood.

“I will… try to keep that in mind,” Belle nodded her head.

“But, we should go eat! I made reservations… uh… I did sort of forget to ask what restaurant was your favorite so… I made reservations to all of them. I was too eager… I will do better in the future,” he offered his arm to her.

When he spoke like that… Belle had to remind herself that this being had threatened to devour people and had trapped the entire town making it unable for people to leave.

However… he seemed so eager to please her… perhaps she could convince him to lift the curse… even if he would never let her go.

That she knew for certain.

He would never let her go.

So she put on a brave smile as she took his arm.

“Well… I am not too picky. Let us not waste time right?”

And with that the two walked towards the downtown as the sky darkened above them.

[decadentrpg-blog]

WELCOME ALLIE, YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED FOR THE ROLE OF NATASSIA PRINCE

Admins Note: A tough choice to make but I must say your application embodies so much of the Natassia that I see. From her sense of self identity to her motivations, it’s all so cohesive. The origins of her birth are nicely crafted! Seeing how much money she’s spent and the accumulation of possible debt she’ll owe was another nice touch to Natassia’s character. Seeing her interaction with Cassiel and Maxima really amplified her presence. Your request to use Ni Ni has been approved. Congratulations on your acceptance again, please make sure to head your way to the checklist and submit your account within the next 24 hours!

Out of Character

Name / Alias: Allie Pronouns: She/Her Age: 23 Timezone: CST

In Character Application

Full Name: Natassia Li Prince

NATASSIA (na-tas-sia) – Natassia derives from Greece meaning “born at Christmas”. Sadly the meaning really has nothing to do with the reason behind why she was named Natassia, especially since she was, in fact, not born at Christmas. There is no grand meaning behind the reason her parents chose the name. Really, Natassia was a last minute pick since they couldn’t settle on anything else. It once belonged to a relative on her pure side of the family, thankfully. Someone from the distant past she never made and whose stories aren’t ever told and yet now they were her namesake. She would make this name her own, after all the Princes never had a half-blood in their line before.

LI (lee) – If her mother had her way, Natassia’s name would have been Jia Li, a name meaning “pretty, beautiful” in Chinese. Instead, her parents settled for a completely different name, and kept Li for her middle name. Really, she hasn’t revealed her middle name in such a long time. Few know it, even fewer dare call her by her full name. Her middle name is just something she wouldn’t mind leaving out as it’s just a reminder of her mother’s Muggle-ness.

PRINCE (PRINS) – Her surname is the name that she says with pride. Prince has a meaning of royalty, really meaning “royal son, first, prince”. The origin goes back to Old English and it’s something that she prides herself with. Prince holds the name of a pureblood family that her father belongs to, and even with that being her surname, she still fights to be part of. The Prince family may not turn their backs after her father came crawling back with three year old Natassia in tow but they certainly didn’t hold their disapproval of their half-blood granddaughter.

Sexuality: Bisexual Gender/Pronouns: Cisfemale & she/her Hogwarts House: Slytherin

Head canons:

A FAMILY’S DISGRACE – Pure. That’s all you ever wanted to be. But with your father’s disgrace leading your family down a path you had no choice to be on, pure was just a grasp away. And the woman that was responsible, a muggle of all people, disappeared into the night on your third birthday. Not that you cared. You should have thought yourself lucky when your father’s family, the best side of you, never turned their backs on your father, letting him keep the claim of pure without acknowledging that short term relationship. However, damage was done because you were a product of your father’s horrendous actions leaving you to deal with ugly names and disappointing glances from not only strangers but the very people meant to be family. Your father didn’t put a stop to any of it but rather dotted you with gifts, something you grew to demand as you grew older. Even then, you might look the part of a pureblood doll, you can never forget that you aren’t one. You will pave your path and take everything that belongs to you. That you deserve.

PIGFARTS PIGFARTS HERE I COME – You never felt nervous about what house you belong to in Hogwarts. After all, there was only one that you would even consider being respectable. Gryffindors were full of overzealous fools, Hufflepuffs spend too much time building world peace. Ravenclaw wouldn’t have been the worst choice, possibly the second best, however you weren’t too keen on the idea of being surrounded by people who think they can outwit you. No, no. You had no doubt that you belonged in Slytherin and when the hat confirmed what you already knew, you just felt validated. However, even there you find yourself being forced to prove that you belong. So you did, you continue to do. You go after what you want, even if that means the hard glares or loud whispers. It’s not like you haven’t dealt with those before and you never let that stop you.

A STORY OF LOVE LOST AND LOVE FOUND – That’s what this is; a story. Something that one day you will look back on and smile as you are seated next to the one your heart belongs to. Perhaps things might have been different if you were pure and you are too aware of the obstacles placed in front of you but none of them matters as long as you have Cassiel. The secret glances, the hidden touches were just the beginning of what you would do for him. You will fight for him and you truly believe that it’s the same for him. You tried to keep the relationship secret, on his behalf of course, but eventually she found out. You were never a big fan of Rosier. After all, she had everything handed to her. Never worked an ounce in her life to be given the treatment that you deserve. And now she also has his hand in marriage which adds to the list of reasons why the sound of her name fills your with anger – no, no, not anger – resentment. You didn’t exactly mean for her to find out the love you have for Cassiel but it’s in the open now. Even though the affair was brought to her attention, you aren’t backing away from him. After all, she doesn’t deserve him, and you are the one who loves him. Part of you almost feels bad but then you remember that she has everything that you desire and that moment quickly passes. Things will work out, this is something you truly believe.

BEAUTY LIES IN HER EYES AND IT’S EXPENSIVE – The gifts your father gave you in order to make up for the life you will never have gave you an ounce hope. Hope one day you really will be the pureblood you need to become. The gifts were a way for you to look the part you desire. But they would never be enough. You crave for more than just some plain pair of earrings, no, no. You need more than just that and that consumed you. Sure, some may say that you have a spending problem but really don’t you deserve the very best? What you didn’t think was the amount you spend on a daily would start to eat away at your inheritance. This problem would have appeared much sooner if you didn’t request your father to setup your inheritance after you spoke of traveling, you might have been out of money in two days. As of now, you aren’t too worried about what’s left in your vault. That is, you aren’t even aware of how much you have. If you do encounter a problem, a letter home to father dearest may turn that around. After all, you are his little girl and heruined the life you were destined to have with such a small mishap.

PATRONUS vs. BOGGART – Your deepest fear and your greatest memory. Both send you chills down your back but for very different reasons. Your boggart is clear as day when you become face to face with it. You see yourself with nothing, not even a name to claim – failure written on your face. It is clear to you that the boggart you doesn’t belong anywhere, with nobody. Loneliness consumes the boggart you before you can vanish it away. This fear can manifest itself outside of the boggart with nightmares of the one you care most leaving you behind, spitting out harmful words that you would not have cared if it came from anyone else. In your nightmares, even he hurts you. But you wake up and realize that was a dream. And dreams don’t become reality. Your favorite memory also involves Cassiel, but in a better light, one filled with reality. The first time they met, in secret that is. The shared smiles throughout the night and forbidden hands running down your side sending shivers down your back. This memory was never topped, really it was just repeated.

WELCOME TO AMERICA – Leaving behind Great Britain was something that you considered doing for quite a long time. You don’t feel bad about leaving behind your family, not even your little cousins. After all, you were never truly part of this family were you? Your father tried, sure, but his silence when words of disgrace were being spoken was enough for you to realize that you weren’t going to be enough. Gifts can only go so far. You needed some air, a place where you can truly belong and staying in Great Britain was hindering that. There were too many memories, too many doubts of who you are and you were tired of that. A fresh start somewhere else, anywhere else had to do you some good. Sure, this might not be your father’s favorite idea of you being so far from home but throwing aside family was what your family does best. Instead, he gave you money, an allowance really, to help you get to America, to settle. It almost felt like he was begging you to remember him, remember to write. Something that you haven’t done since your feet landed in new soil. Perhaps one day you’ll return, but not until you have everything that you desire, not until you have the guy.

WORDS HURT – You keep a brave face on even after a dinner with your family as your grandfather goes on and on about how you will be attending Hogwarts soon, how you should keep your blood a secret. After all, a half-blood Prince was not a good look for this family and if you are going to stay, then you must play pretend. You keep a brave face on even when your grandmother mentions that no matter how hard you pretend, you will still be part Muggle. No matter how much magic you learn, no matter how much you act, you won’t be worthy of the Prince name. You keep a brave face on even when your dorm mate discovers a letter written to you from your father, one that reveals the heritage that you promised to keep secret. He wrote to you out of concern but he was the one to put you in flames. You keep a brave face on as whispers are woven throughout the halls, inside the classrooms. Dirty blood is something you just snicker at, they don’t see the word pounding inside your head as your face never falters. You ignore the names, the words, the judgement because you know that everything they have said will never hurt you for you will prove them all wrong. All the while, you keep a brave face on. Until you make it home. Until you make your room soundproof. Until you know you are truly alone. Then you scream. You scream and you scream and you scream until you can’t scream anymore. Then, you put your brave face back on and reapply your lipstick. Not a hair out of place. You won’t let them hear your screams, you won’t let them see their words scribbled on parchment paper over and over again as a way to get it all out of your system. No one will ever see that weakness, no one will see the pain you hide.

In Character Paragraph:

What can she say? She looks damn good in her new dress. The skirt came just an inch below her knees, a little higher than normal but what can she say? She does enjoy the attention she gains when heads turn to look at her, but there is one person’s eyes that she is looking for. Lips in the deepest shade of scarlet she had, eyes layered with eyeliner in order to appear much darker. Her appearance had to be perfect with where she planned on heading that night, with who she planned on seeing. It didn’t matter that he might be there with another woman, that was just a slight setback. If anything, at least she’ll be the one catching his eye.

Natassia took one last look at herself in the mirror, making sure that not a single hair was out of place, a hand smoothing down her dress. Let eyes turn her way, let whispers of want escape the lips of men she will never look at twice. All of that will just reassure her that she’s bound to be the best looking in the club. And with those last looks, Natassia grabbed her fur coat and headed out the door.

The walk towards the club was a short one and if the night was cooler, she might have just apparated there. Thankfully, the club was strictly for witches and wizards, if they allowed unworthy of being around people far greater than themselves in there, she would just have to stop going. Luckily that was not happening anytime soon.

She got to the door, knocked twice before a goblin appeared at the window. With a grunt, he spoke, “ Password. ”

Ah yes, another good thing about this place. She loved the secrecy, the exclusion that this underground club commanded. Password changes every day but if you know the right people, you know the right words.

“ Nebulus. ”

Another grunt and the doors open and music fills her ears. She steps into the foyer as the room grows much larger than it looks on the outside. Magic really does such wonderful things. Natassia finds herself grabbing a glass of champagne as soon as she spotted an elf in handing them out and took a sip as her eyes scour the room looking for one particular person.

He shouldn’t be too hard to find. After all, even in a room of thousands, she will always find him. And as she was moving through the crowd, she spots the only one who matters and her. It was a bit disappointing to see the dutiful wife in his arms. If only little Rosier knew what she knew but no, Natassia will not do that to Cassiel. She’s not going to be the reason his wife discovers what they do when her back is turned. It’s almost a bit sad, after all, the poor thing doesn’t exactly deserve this. Really, Maxima Rosier doesn’t deserve anything that was just given to her but she didn’t come to this club to curse the girl’s name tonight. She came for him and she’ll be damn if she doesn’t catch his attention.

Natassia set the empty glass down. There was no backing down. She moved closer to closer to the lovely couple, accidentally bumping into Maxima causing her drink to spill. Collateral damage, that’s what the drink was. That’s what she is and Natassia has to remember that.

“ Oh! I’m so sorry dear. Forgive me. Here, let me clean you up! ” Sugary sweet, that’s what she had to be, in order to avoid suspicion. As she looks at the younger girl again, Natassia wonders just how much out there that the poor thing doesn’t know.

Natassia quickly pulled out her wand, pointed at the dear’s dress before stating the simple spell, “ Scourgify. ” Once she was satisfied that everything was clear, Natassia glanced over the couple before letting out an exclamation, “ Cassiel Lestrange? It’s so good to see you again! ” She turned to look between the two of them, taking note of Maxima’s confused look. “ We are very old friends back when we were still at Hogwarts. I’m Natassia Prince and you must be his lovely wife, Maxima. ”

She extends her hand with a smile as the other took it, meeting that smile. “ We will have to catch up soon Cassiel, and of course, I would love to get to you know better, Maxima. ” No, no she wouldn’t. But she plastered that smile on like her life depended on it. “I shall leave the two of you alone. I hope you have a wonderful time here! It really was nice meeting you Maxima. ” A wave goodbye and a smile in Cassiel’s direction before she slipped away, heart pounding. Maybe meeting her was too much, hurt more than she thought it would. But she won’t show that. Not today. Not ever.

Natassia wondered if the girl notice the fact that her smile towards Cassiel lingered? Did she see beyond the tumble as a stunt to let Cassiel know she was there? Did she see Natassia glance over her shoulder and her husband do the same? If not, than she didn’t notice their eyes met, the nod given to her as though it was a promise to get away later. There is too much that poor Rosier didn’t see and yet Rosier was still on top. After all, Maxima was the one with her love, the one standing next to them as he orders their drinks. The one who can share more than just stolen glances. The one who has everything she wants. One day, she’ll step into her shoes. One day all of this will be hers. One day their love will prevail.

Extras: PINTEREST.