#havent had a period in so long
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Periods should not exist actually
#good gods i hurt#ooouuuggghhhhhhh ow ow ow ow ow ow ow#taking dmg every second#my meds are supposed to prevent this wtf#ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ouch#ooooo idk if i can get up#might have too hahaha nauseous#oh this is awful#havent had a period in so long#curse you placebo pills >:(#ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow
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SAGESUNE MIKU >:DDD
#i rise from the dead once again!!#sorry about the long periods of time in between me posting#school is absolutely kicking my ass right now and i havent had any time to draw the creatures :(#ive also just been feeling unsatisfied with my art as of late#its probably just too much time online looking at other peoples art making me feel bad about myself#even though im improving as fast as i can it doesnt feel like im getting any better#but i know from experience that that feeling doesnt go away with time#so i guess ill always see flaws in my art no matter how hard i try to get better#man. that got really depressing :/#anyways SAGE!!! i love her she is my favorite of all time and im going to draw her so much yall dont even KNOW :D#ive got tons of other stuff planned too so watch out >:3#i could hit you guys with 6 paragraphs of au lore any day now#sonic the hedgehog#sage robotnik#AWWWHHHGG SHE HAS HER OWN LITTLE TAG IM SOBBING#anyways#sage sonic#hatsune miku#i guess#whoof im scared to post this#or maybe im just exhausted#probably both :/
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If I had a nickel for every charlie slimecicle character that was left with an unfinished story because of a minecraft servers poor management, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it is weird that it happened twice.
#qsmp#qsmp neg#dsmp neg#slimecicle#i would be way more mad if there wasnt this months long buffer period where i slowly stopped caring about this server#ngl i havent watched a qsmp stream in 2024 at all#at least on the dsmp c!slime had taken his autonomy back so the ending isnt as abrupt as it is here
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its diwali its diwali its diwali its- 🪔
#diwali#happy diwali 2024#literally tweaking#i hate that i got my period and its gonna be the second day of my period amidst the celebrations :<#but at the same time i am grateful i had my period sigh 😮💨#i havent had a period since 3 months so this just shows how much stress plays a role cus now im at home ;;#only for so long though !!!#but ill stay positive & hope this new chap in my life grants me the strength to tc of myself in the middle of chaos
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note to self: a flare up of awful instability and soreness radiating from my knees Also coincided with discoloration SPECIFICALLY AROUND THE KNEES INSTEAD OF IT GETTING MORE INTENSE LOWER DOWN THE LEGS ? what does this mean. is it because I was sitting down all day???? what ! anyways this feels important to remember, the only other times its been centered around my knees and not like, my calves/general leg area I havent been able to see where the discoloration is. now I know for sure that it's probably definitely circulatory related. ooookie dokie!
#lemon speaks#by discoloration I mean I Get Purple. it looks like how your skin gets when you're super cold but.im not cold.#not that bright red I see with most images for pots#but like. kinda a dusty washed out blue/purple.#although ! 99.9% of the times ive been standing for long periods and starting to feel bad#I havent been able to see my legs and feet (I mostly wear long pants...)#so. anyways. hm.#felt like I had to write this down somewhere in case I forgot or something. I dont know. I dont usually post like this sorry lmao
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THE FINALE!!!
#high roller#public relations representative#prr#p.r.r.#winston byrd#cashbot#sellbot#contractors#taskline managers#ttcc#toonblr#toontag#toontown corporate clash#cogblr#tumblr polls#poll bracket#once again im really sorry this came out late#i havent had thespoons to schedule my posts#also i think its funny the guy with the least amount of aliases goes against the guy with debatably the most#like..theres basically one tag for hr#but prr theres like. the 10 foot long name. the shortenings#(that im not sure if the periods affect search so i add it)#high roller doesnt have a real name but winston does#so like. misery#i dont think it will affect it much or at all because most people probably just use one tag#maybe two#BATT00NY POLLS
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the worst week of my year and my body decides its the perfect time to have my period
#i havent had my period in a year#and suddenly my body has decided to work#during the most stressful and emotionally draining week ive had in a long time#and right before i go to florida#because of course#k mumbles#also i have pcos so dont come for me about missing my periods
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kaveh genshin is so relatable bc i too am in my mid to late 20s trapped in a people pleaser vortex of my own making and having. a hell of a time re: professional career
#for. different reasons really but. these things dont have to be a one to one comparison to be relatable fjdkslfh#alhaithams also relatable bc hes a sound hater and is bad at socializing. altho kaveh claims he knows how and just#chooses not to. i think thats debatable sdjlfksd#maybe both. who knows. tbh kaveh probably does know best#i got distracted. anyway. jeeze. good lord.#i was just thinkin about how little i feel like i can do rn#i havent made fanfic progress in a long while bc i just feel like i cant#one of the [redacted] skills i technically do for my field i also just. god i feel so stuck and bad at it#but. at least im learning programming ??? thats been the one think keeping me on track#thank god for this one course ive had to follow thats giving me a sense of structure in these trying times#bc i actually am doing a lot better w/it now and am trying to make my own thing for potential portfolio work lol#but hhefhghdhf um. i'm in a bit of a struggle period right now :')#what ever i dont wanna get more into it im just . gfjdfhghhf
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logic brain tells me I should wait until I've finished rewatching the overhaul arc to post this little eri & aizawa fic I wrote so i can double check it for accuracy/characterisation
impulsive brain tells me this is the softest thing I've ever written in my goddamn life and I want to show everyone immediately
#talking#compromise maybe...keep reading the light novels/school briefs until i get to the eri stuff#my number 1 writer sin isnt repeated words or starting 1000 wips or any of that other stuff actually#it's writing things set during periods of canon that i havent watched/played/read recently enough#i sat on my big post-interrogation p5 fic for so long bc this game takes 5 million hours to play#and i had to get there so i could check facts and then decide to leave parts of it non-canon-compliant anyway lmao
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i had no idea you could trigger karlachs first romance scene like an hour into a new save 😳
#olive.txt#squealing giggling kicking my feet as if i havent seen it before#really thought it was a glitch apparently it’s not#had her meet dammon but no upgrade#also did some things she disapproved of#i haven’t done a single quest i’m just playing dress up w mods#i did beeline to recruit her very early tho thats the only thing i can think of that caused this#karlach really saw thru the forth wall and did a karlux speed run for me#she’s not even high enough level to get her barbarian piercings for the screenies omg#IM NOT COMPLAINING THIS IS VERY VERY FUNNY#also got flirty shadowheart dialogue that i hadn’t gotten until act 2 my first playthrough#idk i’ve never had the issue in my game of every companion (besides gale) flirting#i’ve done a ton of long rests and every single one has been a scene i’ve never seen#the game rlly doesn’t make it obvious you should rest constantly or you’ll miss so many scenes#pacing might not be great bc then there will be periods where you go 10s of hrs without a single new camp interaction#it’s fascinating
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listening to the cultaholic interview with kip and something about the moment where he talks about the box and says how it launched him into a deep depression during that time when he was on the shelf with the shoulder injury for months without anything to do and nothing but uncertainty about the future and his return just
MAN
#this.. this was literally me last year. this is the same thing. the same uncertainty the same suffering#i didnt put this together before for some reason even tho ive heard this story like million times before and i know these details so well#just.. i didnt think about it. but its literally like that for me too. like oh my god#as someone who has always had something going on in my life as i havent had unemployment periods this long ever its just. yeah#the uncertainty of not knowing where im going what im doing or whats going to happen#and if you know how important the boxman is to me.. yeah you know why this made me emotional#lemme just cry into my coffee holy shit boy#time doesnt heal it changes you indeed.....#box thoughts
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and what if i just go back to bed. what then
#dude. i Do Not Feel Well. fully all stuff i am familiar with after i get booster shots#and it'll most likely only be 2 weeks since that's about how long it always lasts with the side effects i get#but it blows during that small period of time so much#been awake since 10 am its abt to be 1 pm now and my body and mind are literally just. done. for the day#i havent had a chance to shower in at least a week cus of pain flareups with my other autoimmune diseases#and i feel awful and exhausted and so so so depressed this has been such an awful year for me. unfortunately.#anyways. sorry for the random tag ramble i am just. alone in the house rn and sad and lonely and too fatigued to move and do Anything
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went bananas on some bananas what on earth possessed me
#and i wanna eat like 10 more...#theyre little senorita bananas so its not like its a lot but man i havent had any in so long#god today im so hungry for something sweet and im taking it out on bananas of all things#its too soon for my period tho so whats up
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having some Thoughts and Feelings on the sun and the star
#the sun and the star#its as good as i thought it would be#i dont like the way will was characterized but i KNEW this was gonna happen#hes just The Boyfriend#which is disappointing#hes been one of my favorite side characters since he was first introduced long before his relationshio with nico was a thing#also#this book feels... superficial if u know what i mean#i thought it would be along the lines of house of hades which was a bit darker and more intense#BUT i havent finished the book yet so maybe im wrong#also??? jason being the new bianca?????#he was only friends with nico for a short period of time yet the only time jason is ever spoken of is in connection to nico#we dont hear about piper or leo who had much deeper connections to jason#or percy who was a paralell to jason#OR THALIA??? HIS SISTER??????#anyway about will again#he was written to be the bossy caretaker healer son of apollo medic boyfriend which is exactly what i was afraid of#and so far the entire book has been about nico healing from his own trauma but none of wills#what about lee and michael?#disappointed so far but im still finishing the book lol
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if the vraylar keeps me legit stable for more than a month i am going to get SO much done.
#i havent had a period of stability longer than that since EARLY 2019.#there is so much i've spent so long wanting to do and if i can just Stay feeling Like This?? maybe i can ACTUALLY DO IT.#izzy.txt
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Still... Realizing that I have been doing okay for almost two months without major downhills mentally and im a bit scared
#miranda talking shit#Genuinely cant remember that this has been the case before... I havent been this stable for this long#Something happened a few weeks ago.... But i got past that incident after an hour of crying and then an hour of pondering#Usually that kinda of situation would have ruined me but instead ... I was... Okay?#Im guessing this is my new medication working and honestly its... Refreshing. Even my pre period dip wasnt so major#Ive just felt kinda... Okay. Like actually okay. Not 'okay for my standards' but actually okay. Even had some longer moments#Of happiness that wasnt just a little flimmer? I am curious if i can up the medication dose a bit more and see if theres any changes but#Aa... Idk. Im obviously still myself and i think a ton and am close to tears but i havent gotten brought down by anything like i usually am#Usually small things or comments can bother me and bring me down but im... Now? No... Its been okay#Im still too scared to say that ive been doing good bc it feels like if it's out in the universe I'll be fucked over but yeah... Nothing#Major have happened but im just (: life isnt so bad...
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