#havent even heard from any of my friends yet

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

Some mild existential dread in the house today

[paiges-1vur]

hey loves! heres another pazzi fic for you guys because i know you love pazzi fics as much as i do. <3 🏀🌌👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

“mm.. your not going anywhere. get back here” paige mumbled into azzis shoulder as she tightened her grip on her waist, pulling the girl towards herself.

“paige i have to get up i told you. i havent texted my parents all night, they are gonna think you kidnapped me,” the brunette jokes, giggling slightly. “paige- oh my gosh” the brunette says trying not to laugh, while also being slightly irritated that she cannot get up. she eventually gives into the blondes touch, smiling. “dont worry paigey im right here. not going anywhere.”

the two girls have been friends, teammates, and practically sisters for the past three years. they had both felt feelings for each other ever since they got closer, when paige was a senior in highschool. although they felt this way, they never told anyone except those who were very close to them. family, friends, and teammates were all very supportive but the girls didnt want to tell the media just yet. they liked keeping what they had special, and they didnt want the media to twist anything, their relationship was perfect the way it was.

“you better not,” paige mumbles. her voice is husky and low. “you know i miss you like a bitch when your not visiting right? i need all the azzi time i can get.” she says pulling the girl even closer to herself, earning a giggle from the brunette. “and you better come to Uconn, or else…” paige threatens azzi, jokingly.

“oh yea?” azzi asks smirking to herself. “and what would you do if i didnt commit next year..?” the older blonde gets clearly upset at the idea of being without the brunette and her demeanor quickly changes. before she knows it, azzi is being flipped over onto her back. paige hovers over her, smiling down at her. “take it back..” she taunts azzi.

“wha- paige” she says starting to laugh, “i was just joking i promise its not that serious.” she tries to escape from under paige to lie back down but only gets denied when paige grabs her wrists and pins them above her head. “hmmm” she says leaning into azzis ear. “i didnt like that joke, it wasnt very funny..”

“i-” azzi swallows. “i was just kidding paige..i-i already said that.”

“and i heard you the first time baby..” paige says leaning down to leave a trail of kisses down her jawline. “so i said take it back..” slowly her kisses move down to her neck. azzi throws her head back, allowing paige more access to her neck. paige lets out a low laugh at this, starting to leave little bites and marks all over her neck.

“it.. was just a joke. im not going to take it back” azzi doesnt budge. she doesnt understand why all of a sudden paige got so worked up, but shes not complaining. it was rare paige had her dorm to herself, but tonight was special. azzi loved cuddling, but she was secretly hoping that something different would happen tonight…

paige kept placing kisses and love bites on her neck, driving azzi wild. she took a hand and snuck it just under azzis sweatshirt, placing it just above the waistband of azzis sweats.. well technically paiges sweats. “paige-”

paige immediately stopped and looked up at azzi. “yes baby?” she was concerned about why azzi stopped her. did she want her to stop? maybe she wasn’t in the mood anymore, which would have been totally fine with paige, but that wasnt the case.

“i love you.” is all she said before putting her head back down on the pillow. paige smiled and broke the waistband of azzis sweats with her middle finger and ring finger. “i love you too baby.. just lay back for me”

sorry this is so short loves. congrats if you read all the way through, and any interaction is appreciated <3 please dont be shy to drop reqs in my anon, or message me! of course also dont be shy to be “too specific” i want to make you guys as happy as i can with my writing. tips also appreciated always

[targaryenluvs]

Idk if you are taking requests currently, but if you are…

Could you write a similar fic to our little dove, where Coriolanus doesn’t kill Lucy. I would’ve loved to see more of them arguing over who gets to spend time with the reader, and all three of them spending time together.

Or maybe a different ending where Lucy takes reader to pick up katniss with her. And whilst Coriolanus is in the cabin lucy convinces reader to run away with her… but Coriolanus finds both of them and takes them to the Capitol with him.

OUR LITTLE DOVE,, ALT ENDING

pairings: dark!lucy gray x fem!reader, dark!coriolanus snow x fem!reader, coriolanus snow x lucy gray

summary: you reunite with your dear songbird after the games, but it seems the capitol has followed her home, and taken an interest in the two of you. but it seems lucy gray is willing to share you with a certain peacekeeper, even if you aren’t.

a/n: here’s for all who wanted a different ending! the full fic is here ( our little dove )this is just a detour for everyone who wasn’t happy with the ending! DONT READ IF YOU HAVENT READ THE FULL FIC!!!

the trek back to town had you dying. it usually didn’t take so long but with coriolanus’s arm practically glued to you, the sun beating down on your trio and your dress sticking to you? fainting seemed very fun right now.

the entire routine was rushed, food stashed, no goodbyes to your family nor friends, just lucy and coriolanus wanting you on the train asap. they’d sprung their plan of going back to the captiol on you quite abruptly once you reached town but at this point you had no hope in your body of escaping them. so you obliged and followed like a lost puppy.

being in the capitol was worse.

you were completely and utterly alone. coriolanus was busy running the country, lucy was always working and you always seemed to be stuck on your windowsill. staring out onto the streets as the world passed you by. stuck in a prison of marble and luxury.

at first you had to endure lucy and coriolanus’s never ending arguing, always over you. when you still had an inkling of freedom. “are you kidding me? you chose what she wore yesterday lucy. will you just back the fuck off?” lucy’s jaw was dropped open, “excuse me? she was my-” coriolanus’s head tilted back as he dragged his hands over his face, “oh my god how many times are you going to use that? who the hell got her here huh? who provides for all of us? sure as hell not you. now don’t make this any harder. she’s wearing the red dress.” you sat there the whole time, just waiting for someone to notice you.

it always led back to you. but apparently kidnapping you and uprooting your life wasn’t enough since after time the duo fed off of eachother, delusions enlarging. seemingly everyone was out to get you, be with you, but you were theirs. coriolanus wasn’t president long enough yet to go around killing people without raising suspicion and alert towards him and as much as people did respect him, he couldn’t exactly go around killing everyone who looked at you and lucy even if he wished to. so he settled for the next best thing. keeping you away from them, out of reach.

and here you ended up, alone.

you had everything you’d ever dreamed of yet it all meant nothing. you were a shell of your old self and the two of them knew it. but all they cared was that you were with them. whisperings of the president having two lovers were imminent, lucy gray the victor, and the other. the unknown. and you weren’t sure if they’d ever know you. if anyone knew who you were, what you looked like let alone your name. even the staff of your prison did what was necessary, nothing more nor less. food, water, changed bedsheets and drawn baths was all the interaction you had with people that weren’t corio nor lucy.

you wanted to die, anything was better than living the same day over and over. the little flickers of hope came in the form of broken promises whispered during the dark nights, barely heard over the heaving breaths originating from yourself and the other two. promises of people, of the sun and temporary escape from here. but you’d learnt not to believe them.

“sweetheart, it’s not good for you to sit there all day. come, eat.” coriolanus asked demanded from the doorway of your library. the book at your feet long forgotten. coriolanus led you to the dining room where lucy was already eating. “there you are baby. somethin’ wrong?” lucy’s eyebrows were creasing as she took you in, empty eyes, emotionless face, slumped shoulders. you were nothing like the girl from twelve.

y/n l/n. sweetheart to almost everyone. a smile on her face as she went about her day. opening up to people and allowing others to lean on her. making sure her friends were okay when she noticed the slightest shift in feelings. always the lover. the carer.

but the girl who stood in front of her was so different and it broke her heart.

but she knew if she wanted to repair you she’d have to let you go. and as the three of you cuddled together in bed, your soft breaths lulling coriolanus and herself to sleep, she knew it was worth it, as long as you were here.

how selfish! she thought, but at the end of the day.

you’re our little dove.

[eddiemunsons-missingnipple]

Just imagining what it would be like for you and Eddie to both drunk and looking for each other. You don't realize you've been talking to one another the whole time.

Steve's party had been going on now practically all night. You and Eddie arrived hours ago, and now you can't seem to find each other. He went off with his friends, and so did you. You mingled and stayed close together when you first got there. But soon, you unintentionally drifted away the drunker you got.

Your face was tingling, and your head felt so heavy. Your whole body just wasn't corporating. Your limbs felt like they were in a constant battle to keep you standing or even walking straight. You kept calling out for Eddie.

You wanted to go home but knew he wasn't driving. Not in the condition he was probably in. He got drunk way before you did. You saw him throwing back shot after shot. Then chasing it down with his favorite beer, a pbr. The thought of the taste is already making you gag. He was a lightweight no matter how much he tried arguing against it.

You were stumbling and kept calling for your boyfriend. "Eddie!"

You even grabbed some random dude just because he had longish hair. He was definitely not your Eddie. You made a face of diagust and mumbled "ew" under your breath when the guy turned around.

The party kept getting louder the drunker you became. Everyone kinda started looking a like. Your vision was nothing but a blur. You even confused Nancy for Steve at one point. All because she had on his jacket.

The funny thing is that she never even bothered to correct you. If it wasn't for Robin speaking up to tell you, it was actually Nancy you were talking to. You would still be calling her Steve the rest of the time.

The killer hangover you're destined to have in the morning made you wish you never started drinking tonight. Too late. You knew you were screwed by the fifth shot of tequila. You and Eddie were going to be in misery.

You stumble again and flop down on the couch next to someone. A man who you really can't even focus on any distinctive features. He's just there slumped back with his legs spread open holding a candle that he assumed was his beer can.

You may be drunk off your ass but not drunk enough to mistake a candle for a can of beer. You look over, and he's nothing but a blurry figure to you. You blink and blink, trying to figure out who he is. Your drunkened mind comes up with nothing. He is another stranger to you. Little did you know that's actually your boyfriend. Who you have been on the hunt for all night long.

You heard him mumbling something in coherent over and over again.

"What you say?" You slurred.

He burped before repeating. "I said you have seen my girlfriend? She's cute. You can't miss her."

"Oh no havent seen her...m'lookin for my boyfriend actually. He's a nerd you can't miss'em" you giggled and sat up a little.

"Haven't seen any nerds around." Eddie quipped and went to take a drink from the candle.

He made a face when nothing went into his mouth. He still has yet to notice his actual beer is on the table.

"Been lookin' for her all night. I even cried at the beer keg." He sounded like he was about to cry again. "Guys out there forced me to come sit down to calm myself."

You put your hand on his shoulder to comfort him. He sounded so sad you couldn't help but feel bad for him. "She's around here somewhere."

"My boyfriend is missing too, startin' to think he's in a bush passed out." You rubbed your eyes and laid back against the couch.

Eddie snorts and goes in his pocket to grab his pack of cigarettes.

"All I know is when I find that little shit I can pass out in peace." He slurred and practically ripped open his pack of cigarettes to get one out.

"Yeah, me too-- When I find my boyfriend, I'm passing out too." You hiccuped, and your eyes slowly got heavier. The party started to die down a lot. People were falling asleep or walking home.

"When you'd get here?" Eddie turned to face you. "Been lookin' for you all night!"

[blurbfics]

There'd Better Be a Mirrorball | Azriel x OFC [part eight]

Summary: A normal morning in Azriel's life.

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: fluff, slight sexual insinuations (when are Nesta and Cassian not banging tho), anxious mannerisms, beginning of emotional turmoil (not yet angst)

Minors, do not interact.

a/n: yeah yeah its another short one but i guess i can only write 2k words at a time unless its cassian's pov? anyway, hope yall are riding with me still! i just finished an outline im feeling more satisfied with so fear not my friends! there will be more plot coming soon. besides we gotta let them fall in love, right? here's some luna lovegood-esque content. also if you haven't seen dinner in america, you should give it a try. it's so cute i havent had a crush in so long

part seven

Masterlist

"Creature of my desire, takes us higher

To not hold your face or feel your embrace, is why I waste

But she's just a phase, just a phase

Boy yeah, she's easy to replace"

Puma Blue, (She's) Just a Phase

It was yet another day of training with the priestesses and nothing was truly different than any other day. 

Every morning he would wake up alone at his townhouse in the city and quickly down his plain but nutritious breakfast before winnowing directly to the House of Wind, and if he heard disconcerting sounds coming from inside the house, he pretended he didn’t and that he didn’t notice the bright red bite marks on his brother’s neck when he appeared a few minutes later, eyes hazed and a smug satisfied smile in place.

Except that when he winnowed to the training ring that morning he found he wasn’t alone. 

The sun was only barely waking up and yet she had already made the day her own.

Eowyn panted from her spot on the floor (at a reasonable distance from the now faint creaking sound coming from the house), the only visible skin around her eyes bright with perspiration yet she didn’t seem to be doing anything to explain her clearly strained behavior.

Clearly sensing his approach, the young priestess snapped her eyes open and evened out her breaths. “Oh, hey Master of the Shadows” she breathed casually, using one of her usual obnoxious titles she thought were hilarious, having heard them spoken earnestly from a brown nosing vendor in Velaris. The first time she’d called him ‘lord of shadows,’ he’d been so gobsmacked by the ridiculousness of the title and had let the surprise slip on his face, which had caused her to latch on to the titles. Since then, he refused to correct her, knowing that doing so would only be fuel for her to do it more. 

He frowned at her, “what are you doing here?”

“Can’t a priestess admire a sunrise around here?”

His frown smoothed into something more neutral. While not letting it show, he found himself curiously amused, but mostly profoundly intrigued. As if she was a puzzle he couldn’t help but try to solve. “You looked like you were convulsing.”

Her dark eyes narrowed at him and despite the thrill he felt shooting down his spine and the smile he felt threatening to rise on his lips, he quickly composed himself, masking any rising emotion with a stoic look on his face. His clear dismissive disinterest seemed to irritate her further. “I was warming up,” she shrugged, looking away and he needn’t see her eyes to know it was a lie, despite how casually she tried to make it sound, “thought I’d take a moment to rest.”

He couldn’t help himself, “right…unless you’re here to listen to Cassian and Nesta…?”

She tilted head slightly to the side in confusion, her dark eyes seeking and he watched in amusement the second it clicked, the top bridge of her nose, barely covered by her veil, scrunching cutely as she grimaced at him. He half-mindedly wondered if part of her clear aversion to the sun was due to the possibility of freckles on such lovely skin but quickly rid the notion, knowing somehow intrinsically that her aversion to the sun ran deeper than vanity. A shame she didn’t spend more time in it, he considered. She’d look lovely with freckles.

“Please,” she snorted, “I’ve enough with Nesta’s detailed descriptions to last a lifetime, I don’t need to hear her make Cassian cry out her name and beg her to ‘let him cum’ right now, I’m getting the full story later.” And while the casual talk of sex surprised him, somehow foolishly expecting pious shyness from her, it was the next sentence that intrigued him. “I’ve been hearing too many things in the wind all morning to focus on something so banal.”

Perhaps there was yet another exception to his otherwise normal and routine morning— his immediate and decided rejection of Rhysand’s attempt at a mental connection, his rhetorical daily debriefing where his boss presented him with his case file and mission for the day, except Azriel had no intention to go on any missions today. He’d told Rhys he’d be busy three days of the week every week, and any missions he assigned would either have to wait a day or he could deal with the problem himself. Today, as he knew very well, was a Juneday and today he trained with Eowyn after their daily group training, and he had no intention of canceling his meeting with her.

“Are you okay?” She asked him, and when his eyes came back to focus he saw that she was now back to her feet, no longer looking as out of place as she inspected him with a hint of concern in her eye. “You just…left.”

“I was talking to Rhys,” he explained, a half lie. He figured that Rhysand’s lack of insistence meant the conversation could likely wait.

She only hummed in response, nodding understandingly and asked nothing further. 

“You didn’t answer my question,” he reminded her.

“What was your question?”

Irked, his eyebrows narrowed at her, “what were you doing?”

“You don’t let anything go, do you?” She rolled her eyes, exasperated, but he saw a glint of absolute glee light her eyes. “My Venus dionaea has officially held onto the will to live for a month and even sprouted a companion, so of course I had to stay and offer moral support to a postpartum mother.”

He stared at her, “this is…a cannibalistic plant?”

“Close, it’s carnivorous, but I’m glad to know you’ve been paying attention to my ramblings the past couple days. Do you want to see it?”

And he did. Pay attention to her, that is. Eowyn was an enigma to him. He couldn’t say he’d ever met any fae, male or female for that matter, that intrigued him as much as she did, for the interest he had in her was not the allconsuming yearning for belonging he’d wanted from Mor nor the passionate protective desire he felt for Elain. What started with simple curiosity and intrigue in the young priestess turned into a challenge for him, to uncover layer after layer to her person and know— he just wanted to know her secrets, had no intention of using them against her or doing anything with them, really— he just had to understand her.

And every day, Eowyn revealed only enough for him to obsess over all over again. She barely opened the curtains to the window of a locked chamber, allowing him just enough to know there was something there but never know what it was. Not all of her revelations were shown through conversations– in fact, the majority was based on her altering moods, as indetectable as they were to others.

He continued to stare, mind truly blank for something more to say. “Sure.”

He couldn’t help the deep breath he inhaled inside the warm greenhouse, that smelled mostly of varied flora but contained something else, her own scent somehow intertwined in the greenhouse from all the time she spent in there. His eyes almost rolled to the back of his head at the thought of what her office in the library must smell like, of what her bedroom smelled like.

“Now before we approach her, there are some rules,” she spoke so quickly and lowly, he had to strain his neck down to catch everything. Surprisingly, he found that he didn’t need to pull his wings tighter into himself to fit, the small space somehow big enough to fit both of them comfortably through the rows of plants. “You do not, under any circumstances, point at her,” she instructed, “it makes her feel insecure and anxious and it will kill her. You’re not allowed to speak to her unless you’re praising her in some way, and please, for the love of the Mother, do not approach her if you’re in a sour mood. She can detect that and it makes her so upset, she’ll refuse to eat for days”

“And why am I speaking to a plant?”

“Because here, life is precious,” she said grandly yet the way her gaze held his told him she did not speak lightly. As boisterous, even performative, as Eowyn was when she was feeling particularly tired— a rather common occurrence he’d noticed in the few months they’d trained together— there was an edge to her voice, only barely noticeable enough for him to know that she truly meant her words, believed in them. “A greenhouse oversees the line between mortality and immortality. Here, plants may sometimes die, but I’m here to make sure that their kind doesn’t die with them— thus they will live on, as long as the earth, its nutrients, and the sun allow it to. I quite enjoy the perspective it offers.”

He’d noticed this of Eowyn, as well. As sharp and cunning, if perhaps somewhat timid and shy at first glance, as she was, there was something peculiar about her that one could never pinpoint. It was no secret that she was bright, that she held an infinite wisdom in her sharp dark eyes, but they also held something some may find… jarring. An almost imperceptible but always present sort of manic way about her. 

Her eyes, the only indicator he had to perceive any type of true emotion, were always flittering around, always inspecting her surroundings, as if looking or expecting something to occur at any moment. He noticed, sometimes, how she seemed to tremble in place in a way that went beyond exertion or even cold from the brisk mornings, like there was something rattling inside her that needed to get out.

It was particularly present now. He inspected her and noticed the dark circles under her already dark eyes framed by long soft lashes. He’d known for a while that Eowyn often had trouble sleeping, and he was beginning to recognize the signs when she was going through a particularly tough episode. 

She had told him that since their training had begun and she became more exposed to the outside world, she’d found solace in nature beyond what was contained within a mountain. This helped, she told him, but it clearly wasn’t enough.

Despite her clear sleepless frenzy and anxious energy, Azriel thought, objectively, of course, that she looked rather beautiful. 

He immediately chastened himself at the thought.

He’d made a vow, if only to himself, to focus on himself for once rather than to yearn for or ‘pant’ after females, as Rhys had so gently put it. Had decided that unrequited affections only brought hurt and pain, and going after a priestess that sought haven in a library precisely because she’d been so hurt by a male that she would want to live in a micro-society where they couldn’t invade, was like a slap in the face. As if he only went after unavailable females and what did that say about him as a male?

As always, he stopped the thought and filed it away for later.

Instead, he spent the rest of the morning listening to Eowyn coo and awe and the truly puny and ugly plant barely sprouting two leafs that looked like flat lips, but he kept the comment to himself, promising not to look at the plant that she’d ever-so-lovingly called Thelxi, in tribute to the Siren Thelxiepeia from the human tales that cunningly seduced her prey before consuming them like a true predator. She cooed at the plant, telling it how smart and cunning it was in between her truly fascinating bits of information that she often shared with him. Information he cherished, despite its lack of practical use.

It wasn’t until his shadows pulled him away from the bubble he hadn’t realized he was in, whispering of his brother’s annoyance mixed with concern about his lack of appearance in the sparring ring.

Even as he rushed Eowyn out of the greenhouse and into their group session, feeling Cassian’s red hot glare upon him when he showed his face, he couldn’t bring himself to regret the slight alterations to what was otherwise a perfectly normal day.

part nine

taglist: @lilah-asteria , @a-courtof-azriel, @honk4emoboyz , @feyretopia , @mrsjna , @buttermilktea11 , @bravo-delta-eccho , @kylieinwonderland

[bbyquokka]

6:55 pm (bc)

genre: timestamp, smut — MDNI!

warnings: fem reader, unestablished relationship, virgin reader, fuckboy chan, best friend chan, oral (f rec), vaginal fingering, pet names.

words: 1.4k ~ (1470)

a/n: this + the teaser pics = this mess. this sucks but i havent wrote smut since the changbin fic

☆ m.list — ☆ you can also read it on my ao3

dont repost. dont translate. minors, ageless & default blogs; dni! feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

“c-chan. wait–” you breathily whimper, fingers wrapped around the man's black locks. his fingertips dig into the skin of your thighs, teeth scraping the insides before gently nipping at the skin.

he looks at you through his lashes, a cocky and mischievous smirk resting on his lips. his tongue slowly darts out to moisten the skin leaving them to glisten in the faint light from the residue of his saliva.

you swallow thickly, your heart beating against your chest at an erratic pace. your body temperature has risen to max. it's a habit of yours to speak and not know when to shut up, especially in embarrassing situations–like five minutes ago to be exact.

you casually stated to your best friend (and fuckboy for that matter) that you've never been eaten out before. chan is your best male friend, a person you feel safe with so you have no problem over sharing, however, once you realised what you had said due to the fact that chan had a shit eating grin, did you curse yourself of your bad habit.

chan is the type of person to only do one night stands. he claims that relationships require time and effort–which he doesn't have right now. one night stands are easy for him. it's a quick fuck and you're done.

you don't care. chan is a grown man, he can do whatever he likes. however, you've heard the rumours floating around about how good chan is at eating pussy so naturally, it piqued your curiosity.

you just didn't expect that same man to be between your legs at this current moment in time.

“you want me to wait?” he cocks his eyebrow. the silver from his brow piercing faintly catching the light. “even after i've got you this worked up?”

you swallow as he hums. his fingertips delicately rubbing your aching cunt through the material of your soaked panties. he presses the pad of his finger against your clit, applying enough pressure to send tingles of pleasure up your spine. you gently tug on his hair causing chan to laugh 

“you and me both know that you don't want me to stop, doll.” he purrs before suckling on the skin of your inner thigh. he leaves purple bruises and teeth marks, your body reacting to the foreign yet pleasurable feeling.

he leaves feather-like kisses on the skin, inching closer and closer to your cunt. he looks up at you for any signs of him to stop, but when he is met with nothing but rosy cheeks and doe eyes, he continues. 

using his middle and index finger, he slowly rubs between your folds through your panties. you let out shaky breathes, chan humming softly as he feels how wet your panties are.

“fuck.. your panties have soaked up your juices nicely.”

“do you have to comment on it?” you mumble, feeling a wave of shyness wash over you.

“what can i say? i like to be vocal.” he says with a smirk before hooking his fingers under the waistband. “can i?”

you nod slowly, swallowing your accumulated saliva. you lift your hips up as chan pulls your panties down your legs and onto the floor. you're met with the cold air of the room hitting your soaked pussy as chan stares at it with hungry eyes.

“shit.. it's so pretty. you're so pretty yn.”

“stoppp.” you whine, legs aromatically closing as an attempt to make chan not stare anymore.

“no.” he whispers, gently prying your legs open again “let me see.” 

you whimper. cheeks flushing pink as you watch chan. his hungry eyes flicker as they take in every detail of your lower half. the way your slick coats your folds and shimmers in the light. how puffy and swollen your clit is. how your entrance pulsates as it waits to be filled with something.

“gosh you're so pretty!” he growls before diving head first between your legs. you shriek as a sudden explosion of pleasure shoots up your spine due to chan's wet tongue gliding over your puffy clit.

“f-fuckk!!” you groan out. he hums as he uses the tip of his tongue to swirl around the bud before licking long strips. he then starts to suck and gently nibble on the bud before slowly licking down to your entrance. 

you moan his name softly, his tongue lapping up your slick. he moans against your cunt from the way you taste, a switch inside him suddenly flipping making him want more of you. the way you sound, the way you taste makes him want so much more of you.

you tug at his hair as his tongue dives in and out of your entrance. breathy moans and shaky whimpers escape from your throat as your body and mind becomes consumed with the foreign feeling of pleasure. you free one hand from his hair to glide under your t-shirt.

you cup your own breast, squeezing and massaging the flesh as you unknowingly buck your hips against chan's face. the tip of his nose bumps against your clit which adds to the overwhelming feeling of pleasure.

chan smirks, letting you do as you please. he lets you buck and ride his face, his tongue alternating from entrance to clit. your fingers pinch and tug at your nipples, head flopping to the side as your lips part.

with shaky thighs, you desperately try to close your legs around his head but chan is strong. with the grip he currently has, it's a useless fight; a fight you should just give up on.

slick and saliva coats chan's face. your moans and the way your body moves sending tingles of pleasure down chan's spine and straight to his aching balls. his cock straining against his jeans. every now and then, he roughly squeezes and palms himself to relieve him of the ache.

you look down as chan pulls away slightly, your brows furrowing together as a way of asking: “everything ok?” chan simply smirks before gathering up some spit and spitting on your cunt.

your eyes widen a little at the dirty, yet attractive, action. all thoughts are quick to leave your mind once you feel chan rub and smear the saliva on your clit and folds. using two fingers, he rubs between your folds getting the skin coated in your slick. 

he teasingly dips the tips of his fingers inside your entrance to be greeted by sudden warmth and the feeling of you clenching around him. he laughs softly as he looks at you, your pink cheeks and doe eyes staring down at him as you chew your lip.

“is this o–”

“yes!” you hastily interrupt “yes! just fuck me chan. please.. i'm aching to feel something.” you curse your virgin self for sounding so desperate, but you couldn't help it. the pleasure you're feeling is so new and scary. you'd be lying to yourself if you said you wasn't scared of what's next but you know you're safe with chan and with each moan you make, the more you love it.

chan swallows thickly as he clenches his jaw. he makes a mental note of how adorable and submissive you look right now, forever burning the image into his brain. 

he'll use that to jerk off later.

he slowly pushes his fingers inside, stopping at the first knuckle. you groan at the feeling of fullness alongside with how thick his fingers feel. he curls his fingers against your walls, slowly pumping them.

your walls contract around him, holding onto his fingers tightly as if you're scared he will escape. he slowly picks up the pace, your eyes fluttering shut. he dares to push his fingers deeper inside, finger curling and caressing your walls.

he angles each thrust in an attempt to hit that spot he knows so well–and when he does, his ears and eyes are blessed with the sight and sound of you. 

you let out a long and desperate moan, back arching as his fingertips abuse your g-spot. you shakily reach down, holding onto his wrist as you dig your nails into the skin. chan smirks before sucking on your clit again.

“fuck fuck fuck. chan, so good. fuck!” you moan, your throat becoming dry from all the panting you've been doing.

“good girl.” chan mumbles “you're doing so well for me.”

your core clenches, stomach dipping and body sweating. you can't say or do anything because you're so consumed with pleasure. you're hazy and all you can think about is having chan's cock deep inside you, ruining your insides.

chan loves the way you sound, taste, smell and feel. his animalistic side getting the better of him as his fingers drive in and out and tongue swirling around your puffy clit.

he wants more; so much more.

tags (open): @sstarryoong ; @oshimee ; @fairylouist ; @septicrebel ; @bbujiikseu ; @cixrosie ; @alyszaen ; @writerracha ; @hyunluvxo ; @aestheticsluut ; @xcookiemonsteer

[whore-era]

collage!ellie x reader hcs? <3

a/n: im gonna assume u meant college!ellie so HERE IT GOES just for you anon friend <3 sorry for how short it is kfkdkkd

tlou 2 university: college!ellie x reader headcanons <3 18+

i have a feeling ellie is either a biology major, engineering major, or a physics/astrophysics major (cuz our girl loooves space), meaning she's extremely intelligent and does very well in class!! she's always answering the professor's questions, taking notes, paying attention. when you struggle with any science/math related subjects, she's ALWAYS willing to tutor you. but, this doesn't mean she's just gonna give you the answers, she's gonna make sure you actually learn and study, even using any means possible — like having you strip off a piece of clothing every time you get an answer wrong and making it a fun time for the both of you.

when you have important projects/papers/quizzes/exams to do that day, she'll make sure to send an encouraging message. don't get me wrong, she always does, but on especially important days like these, she'll always make sure to send an extra special one <3 'good morning baby! you're gonna fucking KILL this chemistry exam babe! you worked your ass off and you're gonna do amazing and get the highest score ❤️ i love you my smart girl let me know what you get when you're done' 'ty els <3 i love you most babe ! i'm abt to start talk to u laterrrr 🏃🏻‍♀️'

ellie will always fulfill her girlfriend duties and walk you to and pick you from classes! even tho she's always a tiny bit late because your class was all the way across campus from hers, but she wants to make sure you're protected and safe so she doesn't care either way! and she'll always carry your books for you, making sure you don't strain or 'hurt' yourself (her words not yours). "els, i have two, capable working arms!!" you whine, as she takes the textbook off your hands, "and so? what if you get a muscle spasm? or you sprain your hand?" she retorts, "by a two pound book?" ellie shrugs, "the possibility is never zero, babe."

when ellie has a project or an essay to work on, it'll be a little difficult to reach her as she gets in the zone when she's working. you'll probably send her some texts throughout the day to check in on her, but as the day progresses you'll find yourself worrying and thinking about stopping by her dorm with dinner because you already know she hadn't ate all day from being cooped up in her room typing away:

you - 9:30 am: els! just got out of class!! gnna go get some lunch w jesse :) hope ur doin okay <3

you - 11:45 am: miss u babe hope ur work is coming along great !!!

you - 2:21 pm: havent heard from u......kinda worried....hope u have been eating n staying hydrated missy >:(

you - 5:56 pm: ok i'm On my way! to ur dorm rn w/ dinner i already know u haven't ate yet n ur gonna feel my wrath

you - 5:56 pm: ignore that extremely enthusiastic On my way! it autocorrected im still mad at u

hearing the booming pounding on her door, ellie takes off her earbuds and walks to the door, opening it. to her surprise, you're standing there, take-out in hand, and a grumpy expression gracing your face. "do you know what time it is? have you even ate yet, ellie williams-miller?" ellie grimaces at the sound of her full, government name leaving your lips. "i'm so sorry, babe. i was working all day, i didn't even realize how much time had passed 'til you showed up," ellie mutters, her stomach grumbling on cue. you hand her the take-out from her favorite spot on campus, and she graciously takes it from your hands. "you better be thankful you have a very caring and worrisome girlfriend, els," you say, "i really missed you today." a smile curls on ellie's lips, "i know, baby. here, let me take a little break from my paper, and i'll make it up to you, yeah?"

and that night, ellie was extremely thankful she worked on most of her paper, as she completely disregarded anymore work as she decided she'd rather fulfill her appetite by eating you out instead. leaving her take-out cold and untouched. but hey, she held her part of the deal and indeed made it up to you.

that was also how 5 papers ended up taped up against her dorm-room door, complaining of the 'fucking loud ass moans' the morning after.

"how'd they even know it was us?" ellie queries, reading over the complaints. "oh wait, it says here 'please tell your girlfriend to keep it down. she was screaming your name all night. thank you for reminding us who lives in dorm 114.'" needless to say, you were red as a tomato and it gutted you to leave her dorm, feeling everyone's eyes on you as you walked down the hall.

let me know if yall would like more college!ellie hcs!! <3

[j3110-cup]

SCOTT PILGRIM SELF INSERT!! (AGAIN)

this is a redesign/redraw/rehaul of my old SP self insert from almost a year ago now! :3 hopefully some people will (still) be interested in them,, .. LOOK BELOW FOR MORE INFO ON THEM!! | \/ things to know about Charlie Cobweb: they/he/she/any pronouns, they have complicated feelings about gender still. - personally wise; VERY awkward, accidently blunt, impatient, kinda edgy, tone deaf, emotional, misunderstood often, depressed, gets heated easily, sassy, sarcastic, cant take most things seriously. - in a band called Atomic Robot Army as the guitarist. With Max ((friends oc/insert)) as the bassist, and Scout/Jeremy as the drummer. ((yeah, we put the guy from TF2 into SP..)) - also roommates with Max and Jeremy. - Max, Jeremy, and Charlie are all from America, and lived in the same area, yet went to Canada to try and 'tour around the world' as a band, but they ended up giving up and just staying in Canada in an apartment together. - the Atomic Robot Army band was started when Max, Jeremy, and Charlie were in highschool together, and Charlie suggested they start a band randomly, so they decided why not. Max came up with the band name. - very into Sci-fi and tech, coding useless things is a pastime of his. - if you want a movie, album, or show pirated, then shes your guy. just ask for it and she'll have it on a DVD or CD for you somehow, dont question his ways. - keen music lover, you name it they've listened to it. not a single genre that they HAVENT heard. (unless you're an even bigger music lover, then thats impressive.) - they also enjoy keeping simple little plants a lot, only indoor though. You'll have to threaten him if you want him to go outside and do yardwork of all things. - uses their electric guitar to fight (patches up their guitar and apologizes to it as if it was a person after.) - possibly romantically attracted to his guitar, she wont confirm this nor deny it. - he paints his nails often, he thinks its pretty fun wearing a different color very few days, though it gets chipped easily. - one sided hatred towards Scott Pilgrim, dont let Charlie near him or they will JUMP at him. - friends with Matthew Patel (also has a crush on him), Roxie Richter, Julie Powers, Stephen Stills, and Other Scott. - has electric powers. Purely emotion driven though, if she feels any emotion intensely then her powers start acting up, this makes them very hard to control sometimes. - he does weed but a pretty limited amount, mostly uses it if they're stressed or it just feels like a good time. They've also offered weed to Stephen a few times.

(GO CHECK OUT MY BEST FRIENDS BLOG AS WELL, THEY ALSO HAVE AN AWESOME SP SELF INSERT!! @atomic-star-fighter)

so, I'm back on my grind. I really apologize for kinda just leaving for awhile, depression hits hard sadly!! BUT I'm doing very good and I'm excited to be active again!!

[worldssmallestlizard]

i want to ramble about panjura from path of titans a bit because it made me have interesting thoughts about map design in games

ok so for context everyone Hates this map because it is a big sprawling forest. the moment a map with more condensed/defined areas came out (gondwa) the majority of the playerbase moved to that

im not even really fond of this game anymore. like. i realized the combat aspect is not really for me and nor is the playerbase really (i pretend global chat doesnt exist its so tense). but what drew me in was that (1.) i had no idea that a game's map design could have so much attention to detail and (2.) ON TOP OF THAT BE SO BIG?? apparently the size of panjura is 8x8km. i heard through someone else that it also took 2 years to design

and i just find it really immersive in the way that you can come across a clearing of shallow trees over a brook or a rolling hill that like. stops to make you appreciate it if youre not focused on "man im fucking bored i gotta kill someone." because my friends advertised this to me 2 years ago as a game where you could just be a dinosaur lol. ive been trying to get some mileage out of it but havent found my niche yet really ive considered quitting the game a few times

and i guess like. gondwa (the alternative) does a good job at being more game-friendly. it funnels players into interactions a bit, and the ocean surrounding it shrinks the area you can wander, heightening your chances of coming across someone to fight. (when i was a new player it used to surprise me that everyone enjoys fighting) the land is divided up by rivers and cliffs, so most people are coming off of common bridges or shortcuts. you could also point to a specific area on the map and say "oh thats [region name]" because the borders are so defined. which is something you can't really do with panjura. thus, gondwa is a bit more palatable and is understandably why so many community servers use it to encourage interactions instead. EVERY area is considered a "hotspot" in its own way.

so you can sort of see why like. most people found panjura boring. the larger lake is probably one of the most notable features here, and even then this cuts off the bottom half of the map which does follow more of their uniform use of forests, cliffs, and occasional brooks/ponds. aside from some steep hills, you can otherwise make a beeline for any area you want to migrate to though. it is comparably "too big"

but thats what i fucking love about it so much. there is so much space that like the map has a kind of private aspect to it to the point that if you DO come across another player by some insane stroke of luck, it's way more memorable? and it has a feel to it like youre just going for a walk. but nobody opens a game to just take a walk. which makes it so hard to describe why i love panjura. its just very quiet and gives you more options if you want your own space to roam. theres also more freedom to be able to enter and leave areas at any point. i'd also like to make a note that people only play for the handful of designated "hotspots" around the center of the map

and after panjura got "replaced" for lack of better word there's not always much attention given to it development-wise; a lot of the regions could be redefined bc they've just always been circular (for context you get quests based on the region youre in. gondwa has irregular-shaped regions) and some of them are very incomplete, like some used to have missing quest items or currently have no quest items at all. meanwhile i wouldnt be surprised if gondwa got a bit more polishing over the year it was released. and that could very well be attached to gondwa just being newer/easier to tweak compared to panjura sticking with the game since the beginning

and thats just. it. panjura is comparatively more realistic and immersive in a careful way but thats all it really has going for it. and with the perspective of game design, palatability, guiding, consideration for the player, etc., you dont 100% know when someone is going to attempt to create something similar to it again. which makes me think about this a lot whenever i play it. it just sort of opened my eyes to what art in games COULD be versus what they thrive as

not even to say that gondwa has no aesthetic aspects to it, it just jams so many of them together though (i took none of these photos):

and like. hearing about it was really exciting. but even if you find an area to be very pretty, the awe stops for me when i roam for a bit and realize how small it is. most of these tend to abruptly end where another region begins. to enjoy a map i want to feel dwarfed by it like as if i could run in it for hours, not just enjoy a small spot and say "that was cool! next drastically different biome please." and i wonder if there are any other games that give you the freedom to roam like panjura does. it makes me sad sometimes how people just straight up call it bad/boring map design and it always made me want to dissect why

[arataka-reigen]

hello!! i saw the tags on your pinned post abt how shoujo wasn't just romance and it got me curious bc i've read some nice shoujo but really dislike romance-heavy plots. are there any shoujos you like that don't have much or any romance in them? ty and i hope you have a good day! 💛

Oh, there are lots of mangas that are classified as shoujo and don't have romance!!

I am just now beginning my journey through shoujo as well, so I don't have a lot of recommendations for stuff I actually read, but the ones I did read or watch so far are:

Natsume Yuujinchou and basically anything else by its author, Yuki Midorikawa. Sometimes, her works do include romance, but the focus is almost always in the interpersonal relationships and the difficulties her characters go through in life. NatsuYuu is about an orphan boy who can see yokai, and for that reason he acts in "weird" ways and his foster families dislike him, so he keeps going from family to family. The story is about how he finds a good family who accepts and loves him, makes friends, and learns to make friends even with yokais.

There are currently 6 anime seasons out, and a 7th season is on its way, so you can either read the manga or watch the anime.

Akatsuki no Yona - i mean, this one does include romance, but i'll still put it on the list because as far as the anime went the focus is heavy on Yona's actual journey to gather the dragons of legend to be able to recover the kingdom that was stolen from her. It shows how Yona goes from a sheltered spoiled girl to a person befitting the title of dragon king.

My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom - this one is the og villainess isekai and it truly deserves the hype. It is about a girl who wakes up in the child body of the villainess of her favorite otome game. She remembers that the villainess' fate in the game was always either death or exile, so she tries her hardest to change her fate. This one is classified as a reverse harem, but the main character is pretty oblivious and worries more about farming and eating sweets and generally being the best girl ever than actually worrying about romance. Aro ace queen tbh. And her harem is just happy to be with her and be dragged along for her stupid adventures. Plus, the female members of her harem are taken seriously as well, Mary is a raging lesbian and it is not subtext. I mean, it is a shoujo, so of course the female characters would be important lol.

Usagi Drop - listen to me. You will absolutely not look for anything related to this manga. If you like the premise you can watch the anime. But, please, do not look for the manga. You will only be extremely disappointed by it. That being said, I recommend the anime. It is about a man who returns home for his grandfather's funeral and then finds out his grandfather had an illegitimate daughter who has now become an orphan. He ends up having to take care of her because the rest of the family considers her a shame to the family.

Now, for the stuff I havent seen yet, I'll just write some that are on my "plan to read" list and put their genres next to their names so you can check it out if you think the genre's sound interesting:

7 Seeds (drama, horror, psychological, sci fi, survival)

Requiem of the Rose King (drama, historical, supernatural, gender identity)

Basara (drama, fantasy, adventure) (i think this one has romance, but from what i've heard, the main character's story is a lot deeper as she takes her brother's identity in order to fight against the king who killed her brother, it is pretty famous and considered a classic)

Ghost Hunt (horror, mystery, psychological, supernatural)

Helter Skelter (horror, psychological)

My Stepmother and Stepsisters aren't Wicked (comedy, historical, slice of life)

Ikoku Nikki (drama) (this one is the one i'm currently most interested on, i hear it's about a distant woman who's never had a good relationship with her sister and now has to take care of her teenage niece because her sister died)

Itsuwari no Freya (crossdressing, historical)

Limit (drama, psychological, school) (this one sounds incredible tbh, on a field trip their bus gets into an accident and only 5 girls remain, having to learn to survive and trying to assert themselves over one another because they hate each other.)

Machida-kun no sekai (school)

Mitarai-ke, Enjou suru (drama) (the main character wants to infiltrate the household of the family who blamed her mother for a fire, in order to prove her mother's innocence)

Smoking Behind the Supermarket with You (comedy)

Uramichi Oniisan (comedy, showbiz, workplace)

Usotoki Rhetoric (mystery, historical)

Don't Call It Mystery (mystery)

If anyone has more things to recommend I would also love to hear about it!!

[gamersagainstthemachine]

i hear sh2 remake is good? i know nothin about silent hill. got my sister into RE and just beat dmc1 with her watching, hoping she starts to like 3 and 4 when i get there. but yeah, vido games! love em

ive been playing these games because i found the ps2 which i thought had died and i also frequent thrift stores and have been able to find these games cheap (not the silent hill games obviously collectors have scalped those) but my friends got me dmc1 because it "seemed like something id like" yeag. it cracks me up especially the devilman references. but it seems like these games are also just popular again with the general person?

i havent played sh2 remake myself yet im busyyy and also tired of people rushing me to play things instead of doing it in my own pace. but ive been following along the release and it has some good things to it like environment details and even more endings. people have always been praising the little things in the writing and art direction which arent in the remake and they havent been replaced with better content so its lesser in this way. absolutely no way replace plauing the original with this one lol

i like games that are like interactive theatre with a great soundtrack and silent hill is often this. there is a lot of silent hill content, from installments that prove games are art to b movies that facilitate stupid cliches and it also encompasses other franchises like forbidden siren which i have played a bit of and team psyskallars fangames which are better silent hill games than some silent hill games and also hit closer for me because they take place in urban scandinavia. You know me its all been indie game supremacy because i didnt want triple A bullshit but ive made friends that have introduced me to the value of Big Gaming because its a part of them and because they are important to our culture and they are creative and its fun and there IS a lot of bullshit done in the name of marketability like blatant sexism and racism which i complained about the other day completely devalues the new dragon age for me because once i start thinking the authors are idiots with no other values than representing a power fantasy it really just feels like a waste of time to visit their work. Not that i dont want a power fantasy but i need it to address what matters to me especially the unattrative parts of life. Silent hill 2 is exactly this its what marias character is all about. i set my standard for video games when i first heard about silent hill 2 and similar games. the thing to like about it is that it is just so honest. its not really about people being horrible and ugly it makes a point about people being multifaceted and realistic and it is a sufferfest sure but its to drive a point home about ultimately love and gotta like media that examines the concept of love. they never try to censor themselves which i like because adults dont need content censored for themes they have specifically sought out depictions of. because it doesnt dumb down or glamourize it is entirely different from other commercial experiences which makes it weird that it is a popular franchise and video game with things like remakes coming out because you just cant treat it like any other consumable product its not anonymous or universal like that which lends itself to waifus and merch. but at the same time its also a video game made for an audience of adult gamers so it was made to create a fanbase around it. the best thing about being a silent hill fan is the gatekeeping and elitism it has resulted in and im serious because they arent games for everyone and it shouldnt be treated like they are. everything in moderation and all and the overexposure and bad retellings completely undermining or missing the sophisticated point is really prevalent. mr ito said it best https://x.com/adsk4/status/1495530138922283008 but seriously i have to even ask silent hill cosplayers and fanartists if theyve even played/seen the games and they often say no. a bit alienating. i think its fair to say the reputation overshadows the actual content for better or worse. it gets more exposure with the remake delightfully making history repeat itself like dis

i think you would like silent hill games for their thoughtfulness i rec emulating 1-3 maybe 4 and maybe give siren a try even though its difficult. it is pure japanese horror and the face model scans are very haunting the plot is also more resident evil-scoped. but yeah very big franchises, tap out when you get tired.

personally i think any remake should be played as a sequel although triple a games are usually finished products when they come out so they dont really need more content? but people talk about remakes all the time so playing through an old game series like dmc made me think about it. DMC4 has a lot of things to like that were never realized or only realized in pachinko games because it wanted to be this big final fantasy hero adventure but had rushed development. playing it feels very stiff and vague and it should have been much longer story wise but it was padded out with nonsense gameplay. it "needs" a remake or prequel for sure! DMC2 was also never realized and i personally like its tone more and i think it could be remade to be the sequel that DMC never got.

DMC truly feels like the designers just did whatever they think is fun and throw it at you and thats good because media should be challenging and the gameplay and puzzles definitely felt like the game was treating you like an adult. I was really surprised when DMC turned out to be important to me. Because it wasnt really where id look for a game experience that is intelligent or subversive. But i was surprised when its an emotionally smart game. ill be honest what makes DMC work is the camp, which isnt necessarily profitable or what a straight audience of noncreatives want so i think thats why it kinda has been worked out since DMC1. but dmc1 güde. i dont remember the last time i noticed i was smiling while playing a game my genuine and& honest reaction

i thought dmc was final fantasy for the longest time which is why i got pleasantly surprised by the dmc1 cutscenes you know the ones when they happened ahahah. that game is just entertaining i hope you and your sister had fun with it too! i have played all of the dmc games now except for the reboot which i am very interested in playing because even though its a bad dmc game from what i have seen it looks like an excellent devilman game it seems their train of thought was very similar to crybaby. dmc4 was almost my least favorite moreso than 2 but i can imagine DMC4 is very good if youre a catholic teenager. dmc5 is worth playing the other games for, its like the details and continuity keep hitting you and V is goth incarnate he is the character ever. his official manga is that good and it has no official english release at all. fucked. the dmc1 anime is fun its very 2008 anime. The franchise overall feels like it keeps giving.but it also feels like its thinning out by relying too much on happy reactions in the reader like jokes. it really hurts vergils character the most i think.

i was so excited to play 4 more games like dmc1 but they are very different which also has its merits i guess but i miss the darker stuff and difficulty. dmc5 gives you gold orbs just for starting the game... the novels can def be skipped for fanwritten lore dumps

its pretty common for people to say that dmc is for kids but i think its exactly for people that have seen all the tropes genres and series it draws on before and want a fresh spin on them that doesnt take itself seriously when it comes to plot but does handle emotional maturity carefully. its different from resident evil in this way right? when they arent implementing internet discourse, then franchises are increasingly asking us to take their stories seriously marvel is prime example of this and i just cant bring myself to gaf so i lov dmc way more than resident evil. i also got into that franchise by chance because i won a copy of re8 village and some of my ps4 games were stolen so i needed things to play. im peeved by the shallowness of the series but they do haunted house experiences SO well. i get a bit scareds. RE engine is also insaaane they really spend so much money on rendering every single wrinkle on dantes ass in leather and dynamic wetness its excellent to play with

the thing about these games is that you can really help getting an attachment to them after playing because they are really effective. i understand the dedicated audiences. I hope you take your time with them and its so awesome to bring somebody else along for the ride. it can be challenging to visit old media that has its installments in perspective to eachother because old players view them retrospectively. but there is also some cool historical fan content to find. and its one of those beloved franchises once you know it you just remember seeing it everywhere. i think my friend had pictures of trish and nevan on her computer when we were like 9 and had no idea what it was from but our favorite activity was of course Google Images

so ya i wrote much but that was all i wanted to say. youll have to list the replies in numbered order or something if you want to add anything XD

clown lady 4 u V have a wonderful day

[carpedzem]

hi

under the cut i want to talk a little bit, maybe overshare as well. ill try to keep it short (rereading nat here. i didnt). its a sad post, might make some of you angry but not for the reasons you think

i was staying away on purpose, but a few people asked about me so i wanted to let you know that hey, im lurking, im waiting to see what happens. maybe some things will change in the future but im putting it out here so its all in one place

i think i want to start with saying thank you again for sticking around, supporting my art and my thoughts and having discussions with me. i really opened up about myself and what I created here. im very anxious person and it influences my life on every level, so being heard, seeing people laughing at my jokes, loving my art has been so so important to me

about the situation, the gogcident if you will, i logged out as soon as i saw things going down and been getting updates though different source. and while situation is still on going and i dont know where it will go, as how it ends, theres two or three things im firm on that will always be true for me:

i really hate how believe all victims turns into believe everyone who speaks first, no matter what they say, no matter context, no matter proof. the first statement made in this case was untrue in a lot of important details and while i dont think caitis feeling are wrong or invalid i think her first statement made this situation into something it isnt. i think every victim should be heard but attacking everyone who was accused right away is not a solution

i do believe that everyone who was accused of anything has every right to defend themselves. the way its constantly taken away from dteam is not lost on me and its insane and upsetting

you can be traumatized by the events that werent in its core meant to be traumatizing. sometimes people act shitty and leave scars on you and sometimes you can do the same to other people

edited note bc i want this to be here as well: guilty until proven innocent is a crazy mindset and i cannot imagine situation that i would allow it. some idiots dont even realise how dangerous rhetoric that is. including accusers not being obligated to provide any proof of their claims

twt is the worst thing to deal with any discourse, misunderstanding or any delicate situation. i think no ones there cares for any victims period. i wish that place the worst

okay so what now. i havent decided yet. georges and dreams moves so far confirmed for me that no matter what happened it wasnt with malicious intentions. ill wait to see how this plays out and then ill decide about my next steps. one think i did for sure is i uninstalled twt from my phone (and that already bit my ass the moment dream started his space…) that part of fandom, both people who like (liked?) and hate dream is so damn self-destructive, toxic, manipulative and performative it wasnt worth it anymore. for here, i dont know yet. i dont hate dteam, i think this is very unfortunate and sad and complicated situation that left people very deeply hurt. and i wish it wasnt this way and im pretty sure dteam also wish that. but they cant change it and i cant change it even more

now this is something i dont really know how to tell you but let me try. i never mentioned this bc when i had those realizations, it was too late, everyone moved on and i felt stupid for dwelling on this. i feel stupid now, typing this. the thing is, drituation left me quite traumatized. fucking pathetic, i know. the sudden explosion of fandom left me really badly hurt. i lost a lot of people i genuinely believed to be friends with, and i miss them dearly. i felt, fuck it, still feel deeply betrayed by some of them. i dont want people guess who is who thats not the point, those people moved on long time ago. but that hurt has been really difficult to deal with, especially since realistically i know its quite stupid. crying over some people who were following me back for a few months? but i tried to let myself heal and grow love for this community again and i thought we will be okay. drituation felt like the end of the world but we got through it and I thought we are smarter. and well. im not trying to blame anyone or even a whole community, idk maybe i want to blame the universe for putting me here or society for working this way i dont know. but im hurting and i need to find a better way to deal with things going the wrong way. and it deeply upsets me but im afraid that i have to learn how to love you all less. and i honestly dont know yet what that means, how moving forward will look like. i dont have to make this decision now so i let myself stay away from social media for a while still and then go with presented situation the best i can. i dont try to make anyone responsible for my wellbeing i want to make this clear. im just trying to share my feelings and give you context for whatever happen in the nearest future. no matter what i need more healthy relationship not even with ccs but with community itself (and if you see me rebloging hazbin hotel fanarts. spare me...)

in this place i do want to state that no matter what i dont think dteam are bad people. im not closing myself at possibility of participating in the fandom, probably less though things i mentioned earlier. but if any of those things make you uncomfortable in any way, feel free to unfollow/softblock

im leaving my askbox open if anyone has anything to say, add, or idk, scream at me. not sure if i answer any tho. also if i delete this post in the next 10 minutes out of embarrassment then well, haha

on the final note i want once again thank you all for supporting me when i needed help for my cat. you all did something amazing, something i will never forget and i wish to hug everyone of you in person. thank you

see you around. one day. maybe tomorrow maybe in 10 days. idk

and if you are moving on in different direction, if we ever meet again, dont be a stranger

[mt-isnothere12]

kinda a hot take but i dont hate tsoa i dislike it more but i have a big ass beef with some fans (unfortunately which is what i see/interact with the most).

wow i yapped quite a lot

On the book itself, it accomplishes what its job was, write a heart-wrenching story and tell part of the story of the trojan war and not have ppl confused (or so ive heard). Miller tells us what led up to the trojan war simply and gives us enough info bc tsoa isnt abt the war—its obviously abt achilles and patroclus. I think thats why it shouldn’t be cast into the depths or tartarus, tsoa has its strengths. however, i definitely dont like how the women are written. Thetis and Deidemia are villainized but then again this is from patroclus’ pov and an adaptation so I wont bash Miller too much but still—dont like it. Briseis was ???? idk how i feel abt her. I just think her liking patroclus was iffy?? it gave main character privilege too much for me? does this even make sense?? phyrrus, well hes supposed to mirror achilles but yeah Miller didnt have too much leeway so i can forgive her on that but..my boy phyrrus…your nuance…

yeah ill give tsoa 3/5 i think its strength is that its accessible but nothing too special to elevate it up further. one big bonus it got ppl (me) it get back into greek mythology after forgetting abt it for a while so yeah and smth abt help queer teens feel better abt their sexuality which is great.

okay so the fans, acting like youre an expert on thr iliad after reading an adaptation is just. pls dont. adaptations have change. look if you watched epic the musical but havent read the odyssey i wont trust you bc jorge has made changes and so has miller. thr most notorious for me is that achilles and patroclus arent 1st cousins once removed (one of thr things that was in Troy 2004 funnily enough). i wont explain plot differences bc ✨ you probably read ot alr✨and its sanatized if that wasnt abundantly clear. theres naturally added scenes, some for the better and some for the worse (*cough* any scene with deidemia)

i am not too upset abt medic patroclus its an interesting change. i personally like a mix of warrior and medic patroclus but eh

i really wishes deidrmia wasnt a total bitch like jealous yet supportive patroclus?? i wanma see this internal conflict?? assuming patroclus has feelings for achilles atp. also i wouldve loved to see their friendship too like their not only lovers but best friends. and antilochus but alas a girl can only dream. this was a delusional hope paragraph

im like 90% sure twink patroxlus is bc of tsoa so :( man

in conclusion, i cant tell how i feel abt this book and its impact. its ???? theres lost nuance but its a single book and them again most patrochilles stuff is thr iliad and unfinished or fragmented texts so..

[drawcupidsbow]

Hi i made a post on instagram about the top five games i played for the first time this year and thought id share it here! none of these are in any particular order. except the last one. my favorit....

first up is oneshot! it took me wayyyy too long to play this game. oneshot feels kinda like one of the staple rpg maker games, yet i went into it pretty much completely blind, "finished it" in one sitting, found out there was over half the game left, played the rest, and cried real hard. such a good game that breaks the fourth wall in really interesting ways. and also it has niko who doesnt love little fella niko

♡

second is halope! this is a game i had never heard of before my friend ángel (@raccoonlover333) told me to play it and i feel like i still dont really see people talk about it? it has a very unique style i think and each of the areas have their own atmosphere and feel to them (aside from the fact that all of them have distinct color palettes lol). very lovely game i enjoyed it a lot. also one of the first times i played a game with multiple endings and felt satisfied not going out of my way getting any i missed ? i enjoyed what it had to offer and didnt feel the need to pry for more (good thing)

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hard shift from story based rpgmaker games but next is webfishing. webfishing is good. its so good youve probably heard a lot of people say this by now but its just so fun and calming to sit around with friends and fish for hours. theres something special about the kinds of online games where theres a physical space you share with people, especially those you havent met in person. makes you feel like youre there with them. and also you can get a man i love fishing shirt whats not to love

♡

o yea baby farming sim. this game is so charming and has a lot of quality of life features that i feel are missed in other farming sims. it is still in early access so i cant be too harsh on it, but i will admit that the characters feel a bit too flat currently. a lot of nothing burger dialogue which isnt always a bad thing but when 20 characters tell you Hey this weather huh? must be good for farming! its hard to differentiate their personalities in your mind lol. im sure thatll be added to in the future though like i said its still ea and only has enough content to last you about a year in game. what it does have is very fun though and i would recommend it

♡

You knew it was coming be honest. where do i even start. technically i Did play isat for the first time last year, however, it was for like one hour and then i didnt pick it up again for half a year. so it counts to me. and also i take any excuse i can to talk about this game

in stars and time is a game that portrays characters and relationships in such a realistic light to a degree ive never seen in any other game. it makes it so easy to immediately become attached to this group of friends despite knowing them for less than ten minutes. its a very emotion heavy game. and who can forget the time loop Ohhh yes the time loop. siffrins slow decent into hopelessness and anguish after failing to escape time and time again is something rarely shown in time loop media i feel. at least to this degree. madoka magica comes pretty damn close though lol. also looping in time and zoning out through dialogue (and doing so having consequences) is such a cool game mechanic

while im talking about isat im slipping its prequel game in too, start again start again start again a prologue (or just start again). this one, though much shorter and more of a proof of concept, feels much more harrowing in the ways it pulls it off, especially without a certain characters presence. but i wont say more than that as to not spoil it teehee

this game changed my life for the better. and has been causing me psychic damage every day for 8 months. heart ♡

♡

and thats some of my favorite games i played this year! there were more but not enough for it to be 10 and 5 was a nicer number than like 7 lol. happy new year! i hope this year treats you all well and i cant wait to draw one million fanarts as i have been doing for the past 5 years. Yayyy

[lucabyte]

any thoughts about postcanon loop and mira relationship? i dont think i saw much about it in text posts but it looks like you might have something. bats eyelashes

okay i have rambled about this in a few places in mostly privately and in the tags of my own posts and self-reblogs but. grabs your shoulders. can you fucking imagine how funny loop would be as mira's beard. hear me out.

like. i'm already here for isiloops. im also already here for miraloop and mirasif qpr. im also here for miraisa qpr. im also not a coward who thinks odile should be excluded from this but thats besides the point. what im saying is that the whole things a fucking polycule and there's yet still ways this could be made way, way funnier.

So. It's obvious that Loop's theatrics are more than a bit of a facade. (They drop them when taken off-guard or in serious moments with Siffrin, and Isabeau remarks on them seeming 'shy' at the end)

But we also know that they aren't *that* much of a facade due to their speech patterns being directly reflected in act 4-5 sif's inner monologue. It's clear that Loop's regular goofy bullshit is just the manic end of Sif's emotional state unfiltered and externalised, presumably because they went fucking insane.

So while I imagine they'd probably be slightly more toned down with the party in postcanon, I don't imagine the bonus confidence that comes with Constantly Performing like that would just like... go away? Plus, new identity means you've got no expectations to be held against so... I think it would make sense for them to keep up the theatrics, the bitchiness, the change in humour from dumb puns to sharp and cruel wit.

So the idea of them proposing to Mirabelle that they could just, *pretend* to be dating isn't out of scope, to me. In a situation where she's perhaps fretting about keeping up appearences as an ever-changing housemaiden, or has heard through the grape vine that someone is going to try and make a move on her at a formal gathering, I think Loop offering to theatrically play up being her partner 'as a joke', so that they can offer her support and comfort while still under that arm's-length plausible deniability, sidestepping the emotional vulnerability of 'feelings buddies'.

(Remember, after all, that Act 6 Mirabelle's 'no spoilers' policy means she only got Act 5 Sif's fucked up little talk? There's genuine question as to how long it could take her to unpack things again after that. She probably still feels that social pressure even in a scenario where she has something again to the regular friendquest talk again, anyway...)

It lets them be 'in on a joke' together, and also gives Loop an excuse to hold hands with their friends that doesn't require they be honest about things. ("Well there's the thing, Housemaiden! I've no mouth to kiss, so we don't even have to do gross things like that to keep up appearences!") And thus gives Loop a niche in the party to slot into that otherwise probably wouldn't be filled by anyone.

And would anybody question it? The chosen saviour of the country has a weird little ethereal freak on their arm. That sounds about right for a magical saviour, and means there's really no need for any explanation for why they seemingly only showed up after The King's defeat. They're clearly Mirabelle's spirit guide, or something.

. anyway as with all things loop feel free to place this after everyone knows who they are for this to become a "relatively normal thing that can happen",

or you can place it before everyone knows who they are for the added twist-of-the-knife that is "guilt over keeping secrets" and "a really awkward and potentially upsetting recontextualisation later on"

also in case you havent seen . images related -> (x) (x)

[amethystfairy1]

Before I ramble, I just want to say I love your writing it gives me so much brainrot :DDD

1. Will we ever get to see Martyn and Scott's hometown? I think it'd be super cool for either(or both) of them to have to face their past directly, especially with their partner. I just love both of their characterisations so so so much yes this is an excuse to ask about their friendship

2. Out of all of the main cast, would get along the best that havent met yet/don't have a close relationship?

3. I LOVED the newest one shot of scarian and grian comforting scar IT WAS SO CUTE

4. How has Grian kept his identity of Cuteguy secret for so long? Is it just the absence of wings? Is it also just an MLB thing of "you couldn't be him, you have clean hair :3" even if it's a plothole, it's still funny to think about lmao

5. I think Scar and Scott would get along. Thats the entire question :D

6. (Besides the people with kids) which couple is most likely to impulsively adopt a child?

7. What happened to scars parents? Are his parents dead, or did they leave him?

This is completely for fuel towards mine and others brainrots :]

Hello hello! ✨

I'm so honored and happy to hear that you love my writing!

FUEL THE BRAINROT! LETS GO! 🏃‍♀️

Yes. That is all I will say on that account. 😳

I think the Scar and Joel of this AU would get along really well! They both have to deal with their own disability and despite being confident and very excessive sorts of guys in their own right, they still have issues dealing with it and with how it causes others to view them. Plus I'm sure they'd have a ton of fun ribbing Grian together. 😆

I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT!

Do you mean like, how no one has realized the architecture professor Grian is Cute Guy? Well, for starts everyone in the over-city is still completely convinced that no hybrids or mutants come above bedrock. Cute Guy is this bolt from the blue, a total outlier, and it's not like he showed up at the same time Grian did. Grian didn't pick up the Cute Guy gig till after he'd gotten his job at the university and become friends with Scar (that's how he recognized him in Back Alley Heartthrob). So like...why would you think it was him? Cute Guy has enormous pink and black wings, and also two sets of wings on his head. Grian doesn't have wings on his head! You can't see them! And remember, no one in the over-city has any idea what glamor even is, much less that you can use it to conceal parts of yourself. Also the persona Grian plays up as Cute Guy is very different from his usual demeanor at the university. So I don't think it's that difficult to believe at all, that he's been able to keep it a secret. I mean, Scar has kept his secret identity intact for 20 years now using a lot of the same tricks!

Scar and Scott would get along, I agree!

I think Martyn and Ren would probably be most likely to impulsively keep an orphan they found. 😆 Ren is tenth of fourteen kids, so I'm sure he wants to have a big family of his own one day, and Martyn was an only child, so maybe he'd like the idea of having more people in his family? Who knows!

Scar doesn't know, he's been orphaned his entire life, so he's never heard anything about his parents one way or another.

I hope this helped fuel your brainrot!

Thanks for coming by! 💖