#haven't thought that far yet
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Nothing to see here. Just a boy and his emotional torment support ghost.
#bakugou katsuki#midoriya izuku#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#AU#my hero academia au#ghost#Ghost!deku#deku#kacchan#mha#bnha#dead!deku#bkdk possibly#Haven't thought that far yet#kido art
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soo helloo and i think it's time for me to explain the deal with my characters and this whole "you're not supposed to be here" thing. EDIT: just fixed some stuff. thank you folks for your support, i really appreciate you all <3
i made these characters way back in june and by today they have a lot of lore around them in my head. i even have a dream to make a game with them but it's just a dream for now so i'm gonna try to explain the main things about this story. Obviously this is a long post, although I tried to keep this stuff short. and excuse me for my writing and any mistakes, I don't usually write this much text.
It starts with the world. Alternate 15th century, humanity is almost gone and what's left of it shares quite a big city with demons and angels. However, demons and angels are usually being treated like servants - eventually one gets tired of it all, so everyone knows an uprising is just around the corner. Let's just ignore that for now.
The City has a catch of it's own - it's alive. The walls have eyes and ears and the City knows every resident by heart and soul, both figuratively and literally. Usually City acts through the King, it chooses protectors for itself, ones who have strong minds to comprehend it - they will be called the royal knights, each of them have a company of a /more wiser than the rest of them/ demon and angel to help with their tasks. Only the King and ten royal knights know that the City is alive and very talkative but they don't understand fully what it's trying to tell them. Most of them choose to ignore the voices in their head because hey, that's what you do usually in this situation, otherwise they drive you nuts.
City is also extremely emotional and appearance depends on its condition. Usually it's a sunny day out and the city looks welcoming, but you don't want to be there when the City is scared: it might eat you alive by accident. Now that the environment is aside, time for the main three characters.
Imri is a young lad who will soon be a royal knight. He actually wanted to be a painter when he grows up but well, you cannot disobey the king's orders. Quite emotionless and a man of a few words, he tries to stay on a neutral ground between good and bad - a perfect candidate for manipulation to all three sides, demons, angels and the City.
look at him
Royal knights get to know their angel and demon companions at least a week before they get knighted to avoid any misunderstandings. Imri doesn't mind his friends at all, although one of them caused quite a fuss.
Angel /they name themselves Lyra/ is an overly positive, naive and blindly kind entity. A bit childish and very fond of justice, they try to act as a voice of conscience, not understanding that sometimes this can make everything even worse than it was. There is a feeling that they're trickier than it seems but you can never quite tell.
the latin text all over them is just a part of their design
The demon though... That's not even a demon, that's the Devil himself. Yes, everyone knows who this is, everyone avoids him and he's not supposed to be here at all. Despite being THE Devil, he didn't try to do anything horrific yet and, when he's not joking around, he tries to be the voice of reason, the voice that no one listens to. He seems to know a lot more about this whole world than anyone else but he talks about it only when he wants to.
no one likes him at all, expect maybe Imri who just tolerates his presence like he always does
That's the main three. There is a few secondary characters, Imri's father being one of them.
sir Jastrab /or just Dell/ is one of the royal knights, he's a bit naive, loyal, and a soul so kind that his demon hung himself. Oh well. He lost one hand in what he calls "a work accident" which is partly true but he never goes into details.
He never wanted for his son to be a part of the knights because he knows by experience that it's not an easy job and not every father wants for their child to go insane from the voices in their head.
few people said that the angel accompanying him looks like d20 and so be it
The others are Sun and Moon - local deities, despite being on the sky every day and night, usually they don't really care about what's going on down below. You can still talk to them but don't expect much action. Regardless of all this, they are still loved by almost all living things. They can rarely meet each other but humans always depict them together no matter what.
creators of the Stars - some part of a human soul that i can't talk about :)
Angels and demons come in all forms and sizes but those are the main population - lesser demons resemble the Devil in some ways and lesser angels look like clovers. Rivals usually but when the revolution happens, they learn to tolerate and work with each other. Humanity doesn't really have a chance.
they hate everyone equally And there is another being, that Imri meets a few times through the story - it's Death. Death is just having fun in this end of the world and there is a lot of work to be done.
this is an old and rough design so maybe it'll change The whole story begins at that day when Imri is supposed to be knighted. Everything seemed fine until Imri gets to hear the City for the first time and realizes that he hears and sees a lot more than everyone else. Completely overwhelmed he blacks out - even the toughest of minds often can't take it - and wakes up later only to find out that the King got killed somehow, angels and demons saw this as the starting point for a revolution and the City starts to panic.
Now Imri, guided by his companions and the voice of scared City that's crumbling and slowly drives him insane, shall travel to the center of it to find out what really happened, getting through demons and angels who are busy destroying the rest of humanity. Fun.
There is a lot more to this whole thing but I cannot tell the entire plot because spoilers, in case if i actually will make something out of this story. Think of it as a game lore. I'm not sure about making sth yet because i operate only on hopes and dreams and i barely have any strength lately but who knows... But now you have at least some context! And yeah, thank you if you actually read all of this, you're a hero.
Now i need to get back to drawing. Thank you all for your support. <3
#art#oc#yourenotsupposedtobehere#ynstbh#i keep repeating to myself that i'm cringe but i'm free - it's so hard to share a story from your head without feeling cringe lol#but i'm also kinda proud that i made it this far and haven't burned out yet#before i thought that i couldn't make anything original with this empty head of mine#i'm gonna keep this as a pinned post for a while
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@head-in-the-icloud's Dawn and Dusk doodles from last week's magma. Drawing them is so satisfying istg, my hand cramped really bad but i held on til the end for that sweet sweet dopamine
|| Ref Sheet ||
Also this little ref sheet i made back in December.
#man what a week#<-i've been saying this for the past 3 weeks#i wanna draw i wanna draw i wanna draw#but i gotta work#also i discovered drafts#i never thought of organising my stuff and sorta plan my posts#i have a lot of silly doodles that i haven't posted yet#a lot of wips too lmao#debating whether to make doodle dumps#or to keep doing what i've been doing and associate them with a big illustration#if you made it this far into the tags#well uh#have a very pleasant day#my art#fanart#dca fandom#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf dca#fnaf security breach#fnaf#fnaf sb#dca au#royal jesters au
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“Average Life-SMP member has been allied with ZombieCleo 5 times” factoid is incorrect. Scott ‘CleoWife’ SMajor, who has allied himself with ZombieCleo 90 times is a statistical outlier, and should not be counted. The same is true about B ‘EthoSon’ Dubs and Ethoslab.
I KNEW it was a good idea to save this ask until after the new series dropped.
#IT HAPPENED AGAIN#WELCOME BACK WIDOW ALLIANCE AND ETHUBS /FAMILIAL (?)#i haven't watched povs from any of those people yet. BUT-#old habits die hard it would seem#bad traffic idea#ask#trafficblr#wild life smp#wild life spoilers#smajor1995#zombiecleo#ethoslab#bdubs#this ask is from like . july#(yes that's how far the backlog is i'm so sorry)#but i saw it coming up and thought. hmm. i bet it'll happen again. better keep this one#(it would've posted in like five days anyway. but regardless)
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LEON
LEON YOUR EYEBALLS
#art#ride kamens#ride kamens spoilers#ride kamens episode 14 spoilers#can't believe i made a joke about it being his eye color AND THEN#i did see his updated sprite before i got to 13 but i didn't even notice it at first...#at least he also got a funky little face marking to go with it#shine on you super shitsuji!!!!#anyway I AM FINALLY CAUGHT UP#on main story anyway i haven't played the tower emblem event yet :')#but man i am loving this game#i was not expecting it to be a full-on mystery! with intrigue!#who is lying! who is telling the truth! who THINKS they're telling the truth but isn't!#punctuated by the most delightful nonsense like the unbreakable magic superhero covenants#where you gotta touch rings in the magical wedding chapel dimension that we teleport to sometimes to talk to our dead dad#(OR IS HE???????)#NO IT'S GREAT (and it does make sense in context i just love it)#still 50/50 on yellow beyblade man secretly being our dad but i can't get into theories now i don't have enough tags#man this really has the essence of what i love about rider ❤️#so far i do think agata is my favorite#but then there's leon...#let me put it this way: i would tell agata a hard truth about himself if i thought he needed to hear it#but there is no amount of money in the world you could pay me to say anything even slightly mean to our sweet leon#LET 👏 HIM 👏 HENSHIN 👏#WAIT SHOOT is it too late to redo my survey answers i need to demand that i be able to put hats on leon
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Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 4 - Nuthin' but Boothill Edition
[Pt. 1] [Pt. 2] [Pt. 3] [Pt. 5] [Pt. 6]
#boothill#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr incorrect quotes#hsr memes#honkai star rail memes#hsr meme#honkai star rail meme#hsr textpost#hsr boothill#boothill hsr#hsr spoilers#hsr 2.2 spoilers#hmmm... don't think it's worth tagging the others in the 9th image. this ain't about them#still unsure abt how to do the alt text for these kinda posts properly but hopefully i'm improving#anyways. don't think i've ever seen heard and typed "cowboy' so many times in one day as i have while making this good lord#i did a bit of digging around and haven't Seen any of these done yet so. here's hoping that's the case!#i'm only ~3/4 of the way through the 2.2 main quest but the need to make these compelled me to put these out Now#i can already tell u that there Will be more of these for Boothill tho bc i'm crazy abt him. probably enough to make another dedicated post#but i'm gonna wait until i'm fully caught up on the plot (and will probably spoil myself for more of his character lore after that as well)#speaking of. i'm gonna go eat mac n' cheese and stay up too late playing through the rest of the main quest#i'm loving it so far. many thoughts head full abt it all but in a good way. hoping for more Boothill moments as we approach the end#he's def not the main character here but he is to Me okay. he is to me. i'm scarfing down every crumb he drops#i'm also suffering from Aventurine withdrawals out here. Argenti mentioning him was Interesting but i need More. Where Is He.#also. was Argenti intentionally not voiced or was it a game issue?? the hell was that. threw me off so hard when i couldn't hear him speak#anyways i'm getting off topic and wasting precious gaming time so i'll be takin' my leave now
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Redraw for Day 1 of SpeSilverWeek... vol 25 shenanigans my beloved...
#this whole time I thought I owned a bunch of gsc volumes when actually I own. 0 gsc volumes...#spesilverweek#pokespe#pokespe silver#pokespe yellow#my art#I highkey hate everything I've finished for this so far but I'm so full of hope and determination for the pieces I haven't done yet#I feel so motivated I'm drawing a bunch !!! and I can finish stuff too for Silver !!!!!#pokemon
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The way Annabeth was thinking so far ahead of Percy that Percy was confused. The way she refused to elaborate on anything, and then was like; 'I'm surrounded by idiots' whenever someone (Percy) didn't understand her. The way she looked so smug after she pushed Percy into the water and he got claimed. THE WAY SHE WAS SO BLUNT!!!!! ("ARE YOU STALKING ME??" "yeah lol")
Sorry, but that's the most accurate Annabeth in the world holy smokes Leah did such a good job. All my forgotten love for Annabeth's character that I felt while reading the books just crashed into me full force and I'm frothing at the mouth with obsession.
“-You’re gonna expect me to know how to do something I don’t know how to do, and I end up falling flat on my face, I- I can’t really have that right now.” “You still don’t get where you fit into all of this, do you?” SHE’S TALKING ABOUT THE PROPHECY AND HOW SHE KNOWS HE'S A POSIEDON KID, BUT SHE HIDES IT AS HOW HE DOESN’T KNOW HIS PLACE IN THE CAPTURE THE FLAG GAME!!!! BECAUSE SHE WON’T TELL HIM!!!! AND ITS EPIC BECAUSE IN THE CAPTURE THE FLAG GAME HE DOES FALL FLAT ON HIS FACE, BUT IN THE PROPHECY HE DOES GET HIS DAD TO SEE HIM!!!! And then she fixes his armor plate, making sure that its secure. Making sure he won't get hurt. That's not part of her plan, and things always go according to her plan. She's the game master. IM SCREAMING
#just posting some of my thoughts because I haven't seen anyone else going feral over annabeths portrayal yet#she was by far my favourite part holy shit idk what crack leah laced in her characterization but I am so addicted#HER SMUGNESS#HER APOLOGETIC LOOK BEFORE PUSHING PERCY INTO THE WATER#NO SOCIAL SKILLS - ALL BLUNT ANSWERS AND LAME ASS JOKES#shes just skipping under the invisibility cap#meandering after Percy as Clarrise beats him up#whistling out of tune while vaugely wondering how she'll get Percy to let her join his quest after this#im sorry but i am so crazy about her portrayal holy smoking Hephaestus someone help me#pjo+#percy jackon and the olympians#silly mispelled trending tag#percy jackson#annabeth chase
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the axolotl reincarnating bill as a human to teach him his lesson was always one of my favorites originally so it's probably entirely unsurprising that i've circled back with the handyman au
#this was a quick one hour break from homework#and a first attempt so i haven't put a huge amount of thought into the design yet#but i like it so far#gravity falls#bill cipher#handyman bill au#skribbles
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"[Fitzjames'] public demeanor, which was always an easy mix of self-effacing humor and firm command, remained the same, but in private with only Crozier in attendance, Fitzjames spoke less, smiled less frequently, and too often looked distracted and miserable. For a melancholy man like Crozier, the signs were obvious. At times it was like staring into a looking glass, except for the fact that the melancholy countenance staring back was a proper lisping English gentleman rather than an Irish nobody."
The Terror, Dan Simmons
#The Terror#James Fitzjames#Crozier#Simmons' writing is so good but I'm mildly obsessed with this passage in particular#the intimacy of Fitzjames letting his guard down in front of Crozier and only Crozier#the concept of them as mirrors of one another#but it's only shown when the veneer of a “”“proper”“” Englishman is stripped away#which of course Fitzjames isn't (if the original novel follows the show - haven't gotten that far yet)#so they're both outsiders to the Empire they're perpetuating#but Crozier doesn't *know* that#so instead of relating to Fitzjames or trying to help him it just feeds his self-loathing as an “Irish nobody”#the whole description perpetuates the idea#that it's the Artic that is doing this to them rather than an innate sickness#we're blurring the lines between colonizing as metaphorical sickness and depression as a mental sickness#and the real sicknesses they're suffering from their own hubris + bringing along to a vulnerable population#IDK I GOT A JUMBLE OF THOUGHTS#none of which are coherent like the lovely meta others have done on this show#but this passage ~resonates~
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I briefly considered a roleswap AU where Cora is the one to be enslaved by the Celestial Dragons and get horribly mistreated by them but then I realized it would be over in five minutes bc if Law saw that he would literally burn Mary Geoise to the ground with ZERO hesitation whatsoever
#One Piece#Cora#Rosinante Donquixote#Corazon#Trafalgar Law#Shima speaks#NO remorse. NO second guessing. NO thoughts about any consequences.#Actually exploring a Bonney/Kuma and Law/Cora Roleswap AU would be SOOOO fun#I'm just not far enough in the anime to do it yet nfjandsa#I haven't gotten to Bonney or Kuma's backstories yet;;#BUT GODDDD. If it were Cora. Law would literally go fucking off the walls full revenge mode#GUNS BLAZING. CUTTING PEOPLE APART. LAUGHING MANIACALLY#He would take GREAT pleasure in cutting apart Saint Rosward for treating Cora like that lmao#Meanwhile the Revolutionaries are on the sidelines watching like. Hmm. Well. Did NOT see that coming#Sabo: He did our job for us ig?#Sabo watches one of the Worst Generation absolutely tear Mary Geoise apart with hearts in his eyes#Sabo; pointing: I want him#Haha hey. Have you guys considered Sabolaw because it's actually really c
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Apocalypse Future Donnie Concepts
I wasn't actually planning on posting these until I had a definitive final design to share alongside them, but- It's probably going to be a while before that happens and I feel bad for how inactive this blog has been lately. I've been working on stuff, but only in-between projects, and none of it is really ready to post. So, here's a little something to prove that I am still alive. ❤
Donnie's design is so hard to update. It's just...so good in its simplicity??? Every element feels necessary to his character - so figuring out what to keep, what to get rid of, and what to change slightly is a definite challenge. It's even harder when we're given so little (canonical) information about what role he played in the Resistance and what effects the Krang Apocalypse may have had on him...including how long ago he was killed in relation to the movie. Or how he was killed, for that matter.
So, I'm playing around with some potential ideas and trying to get something that feels right - feels like Donnie, but if he had to adapt to the apocalypse (while also trying to stick to the show's simplistic, shape-heavy style, so nothing too terribly detailed or complex.) I'll share a few of these ideas below, for anyone who's interested.
(Also, yes - I know the spot-goatee is in no way an original concept, but I have a deep affection for it and had to include it in my design.)
One of the concepts I'm considering is giving Donnie a prosthetic leg, something to sort of parallel Leo with his Robo-Raph arm. But in Donnie's case, he probably lost his leg long before Raph was killed or maybe even before he built the robots of his family (maybe this serves as the inspiration or catalyst for the idea.) My working theory is that he was attempting to detonate a mine field full of some Krang dogs and something went wrong which caused him to get caught up in the resulting blast. He was lucky enough to keep his life, but lost his leg and probably some of his hearing in the process. Naturally, because it's Donnie (and because they're living through an apocalypse), the leg will be more than just a prosthetic limb - it'll have some kind of weaponry or technological capabilities built into it. Just haven't decided what that's going to be yet, lol.
I'm also toying with the idea of him creating some kind of "Ninpo Protection Device" - something to act as a defense mechanism against the Krang's mystic-cancelling (or, more accurately, locking) abilities. He's testing it on himself before green-lighting it to be used on his brothers (which, obviously, never happens.) The problem is I can't decide how to visibly convey this idea, I was thinking something along the lines of one of those medical aid devices that become permanent attachments to the user's body. But most of the visible parts of his body are covered in natural armor, save for his limbs and head. So figuring out the best placement for a thing like that has been a little challenging.
I was considering giving him a mechanical hand along with/in place of the robotic leg, as well. Reason being - he works primarily with his hands and almost never wears practical protection gear (another thing I tried to partially remedy with the addition of the gloves), so if any part of him is going to be lost, his hands would be the logical first choice. I also think there's a poetic element to the guy who relies on his tech becoming more and more "mechanical" himself (but only in the physical sense). It would also imply that there was a time when he couldn't work as efficiently on his own as he normally is able to, due to having one less hand, so there was likely an adjustment period wherein he had to lean into his mystic abilities (and the aid of others around him) far more than he's used to doing. A little background character development for him, because I love that kind of stuff.
These are about all of the definitive concepts I have for him at the moment, but obviously, I'm nowhere near having a finished design just yet. So, all of these could potentially be scrapped or tweaked in the final version.
If you read this far - kudos! And thanks for your interest! :>
#rottmnt#rottmnt donnie#rise donnie#future donnie#donatello hamato#Honestly - I haven't attempted a design for him yet because I feel like everybody has their own set ideas already.#And a lot of them are just...way better than any ideas I've had so far lol.#But I was kinda happy with the Double Donnies sketch awhile back and thought ''you know what let's try''#And so here we are...trying. I enjoy working out character designs and Don is a fun subject so let's see how this goes.#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt future timeline#artrehearsals#character design
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How’s Fields of Mistria? You mentioning it was the second time I heard of it, the first time being in passing, so I’m not too knowledgeable about the game.
AWWW THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING!!
Fields of Mistria is SUPER fun, since there's not much to do in it after you've completed the first year right now, I've dedicated myself to breeding and collecting all the seasonal variants of horses so I can name them after the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse!
I also named all my barns after metamorphised lovers in greek myth because I have exactly one thought running through my head at any given point in time (Currently there's Crocus Coop where I keep my (gorgeous wonderful lovely adorable ouugh I LOVE THEMMM!!) blue chickens
Cypress Barn where I keep my wonderful cows (who have been with me the longest and whom I cherish immensely! I'm not sure if Autumn cows are possible but I'm definitely aiming for a barn of all red and autumnal cows for obvious reasons)
Minthe Barn where I keep all of my other large animals like sheep, alpacas and my very first beloved Chiron (black and white) and Iris (brown with spots) (the foal is Rigel) 🥺
And Hyacinthus Barn where I have a collection of small animals like rabbits, capybaras and my PRIZED DUCKS LEDA (the pretty blue and green duckie) AND CYCNUS (the pure white duck meant to mimic a swan!!) Even though it's technically a coop, I mistakenly labelled it a barn when I was inputting the name and I never changed it LOL
My farm is also named after THE metamorphosized lover, Daphne herself, so it's called Laurel Farm
And I'm planning for my Seasonal Horse barn to be named after the poplar since I quite like Leuke's story and I think she's fitting of housing the horses that will be the steeds of War, Pestilence, Conquest and Famine :)
Bonus: My house is still small and eclectically decorated, but keeping in theme with my farm, I do hope to go for a flower/garden theme
<33
#Thank you for the opportunity to gush oml#ginger answers asks#I also have a ton to say about the characters and story and lore of FOM so far but I don't want to have the post be too long hehe#I'm very happy with my progress even though I know there are a lot of people who are further along than me esp after they finished#the main content of the early access#I like going nice and slow since there's no new content scheduled to come out until like November LMFAO#Hopefully I'll have my horse army by then :)#I want to get a barn of sheep and name them after each of Hyacinthus' siblings tbh#I also was a Pleiad coop#But if I made a Maia chicken I would be morally obligated to make a Hermes chicken#And I don't want to think about kinassigning any of the Olympians types or rarities of breedable animals in Mistria because then I'd have t#make seasonal variants for Zeus Poseidon and Hades#Which is a lot of space#(And a lot of resources)#Sadly none of my animals have any ornaments like hats or bowties or pins#I haven't invested in those yet because I am poor :.)#I still don't have all silver tools either LMAO#Anyway thank you for such a thoughtful ask I really appreciate it!!#fields of mistria
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hi... (runs away)
#HELLO (comes back w better confidence)#i miss all of you :<#will respond soonest#!!!#have you guys seen rin'#s official arts#it's been occupying my mind lately#esp that one where he looks like a knight or sumn#imagine rin as a grumpy yet so damn protective knight??? yeah that (like a grumpy obi...)(I ROOTED FOR OBI)#anw!! i turned 20!!!#aaaaa 20 is like... a scary number#i've never thought i'll made it this far and i haven't planned anything up to this pot#*point#so i've been really anxious abt it lol#but then it happened#and it felt just like another normal day#i ate some pie (bec its pi day lol) and had some wine#watched your name (for the 6th time????)#and just. existed. normally#the world doesn't spin differently when you turn 20 i suppose#or any age actually#so it doesn't have to be scary :>#i'm treating it as a reminder#that i am here#despite it all :>#SO THERES MY LIL UPDATE#i'm alive i swear#mimi rambles ᐢᗜᐢ
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Clone with pumpkin DNA bc Halloween is nearly here!!!
Their tummy mouth is usually like the top images, but they can change it to any arrangement of teeth/mouth shapes, like the bottom images - the left being like a traditional Jack-o'-lantern smile, or the right being unsettlingly large human teeth
They also got glowy insides, meaning they probably have some DNA that causes bioluminescence, but I haven't thought that far yet - I just wanted to add to the Jack-o'-lantern theme hehe
#they are probably gonna be called Pumpkin or something like that but I also haven't thought that far yet#they don't even have their number yet!!!#but still I will tag#to be named#pizza tower oc#pizza tower#body horror
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well. did you fucking miss me.
#random thoughts#apologies for sounding in such a sour mood. life is fucked as of late.#scheduled post. i made this on 10.08.2024.#everything has just gone to shit. so far i've been eating less than ever. feels like my stomach is eating itself augh (':#(technically the so-called relapse started on 24.12.2023. but we are not unpacking that today or ever.)#and i am filled with this desperate urge to cut myself. really really deep. not sure how to cope with it#i also?? hate how i look??#and yet i spend all my time?? in this dark dark room?? taking pictures of my face?????#i'm not killing myself off just yet don't worry. i considered it but it won't be happening any time soon.#i originally planned on disappearing for twelve days. partly to make my friends feel bad because i'm awful#which. obviously didn't work. as i don't think anyone noticed or cared particularly.#but mostly because i can't fucking handle it. it being everything. my future feels so uncertain#i am barely alive. i love all the people in my life. but they're too far away physically and emotionally.#but yeah. back finally. although ciel disappears for a lot longer than me and if you know hym my absence would be a small stint.#ciel if you're here when i post this i love you please come back. ):#this place is so scary to come back to. i'm not sure why. i'm just. scared.#i'm not even sure if i want to return really. i'm having second thoughts now. i haven't gotten worse enough#and i can't say what that means. because in theory there's nothing wrong with me that's been speculated upon. so.#i don't think anyone would care if i disappeared for longer than this.#but being away is torture. and then again being here also sort of is. it's scary#fuck.#i can't get out of bed without feeling like shit. i don't know if i can come back. i'm so sick of everything.#if you're seeing this i'm so sorry.#I NEED TO CUT MYSELF I NEED TO CUT MYSELF NOW. I NEED TO. I MADE SO MANY PROMISES BUT I NEED TO DO IT NOW#I'VE GOT THE SCISSORS I NEED TO DO IT#I NEED TO DO IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW#(<- tags canceled for now)
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