#haven't been in the mood to post

[weolucbasu]

*pokes head out of my 'Vem da greš' sadness pit*

Hey all!

I know I've just disappeared for a bit, but I'm trying to spend some time with my bf before he leaves.

Worry not, I'll be back to post my regularly scheduled JaNce analysis and hopefully commentary on Käärijä's new MV.

Okay, that's it for now, back into my despair hole I go!

[risibledeer]

he's not a wet cat.

also we collectively summoned the life series guys. jeremyism is scientifically proven now so... uh yeah

[myrmica]

the entire oath/joker thing is so satisfying to me because of how it mirrors the place zam was stuck at early on in s5, where his reaction to s4 manifested in a rejection of the past entirely. he's very explicitly still rejecting a version of his past self here, but this time it's through embracing the past rather than disavowing it, which is itself only possible because of the lessons he learned while he was joker.

oath feels directly contingent with the guilt zam suppressed in s5, when he killed 4c and something shifted, when he became willing to do whatever it took to get ahead and ultimately prove his point. oath doesn't seem to disagree with the point that joker(/player though i don't really consider them separate) was making, he's still acting in accordance with it: he's doing pacifism on lifesteal in a way that you can't help but compare to what minute and the rest of pb&j wanted, because it's pacifism as done by a member of The Players (stupid ass team name stupid fucking team name). he basically tells you this. pacifism without ideology, based entirely on his own actions, and an implicit understanding that it can't last forever, building itself up to fail from the get-go; the tension is all in how will it fail, and how will it play out when it does?

he builds up spawn knowing that it'll make it more meaningful if (when) it all eventually gets threatened and destroyed. he tries not to make enemies, or fight, or get involved in conflict, knowing that depriving himself of those things means he has a need he's not fulfilling, and that need has to come to the surface eventually. the "ghost" of joker haunting oath is a result of that suppressed need, the same way joker suppressing his guilt in s5 had to manifest in something like oath coming after him. the ghost is something created in hindsight, warped by the way zam feels about himself; in order to consider himself at peace, he has to externalize and personify the parts of himself that stand in conflict with his current goals. at the cost of flattening the person he used to be, because oath directly carries forward the good things about joker in terms of his views of the world. the violent tendencies embodied by the ghost are amplified by the fact that zam has overcorrected and repressed that part of himself entirely. so, that part has started acting against him, and sectioning memories off from him...

and then there's the weird element of everything, where joker's presence also feels like it fulfills the need for zam to be competing with someone, if he's purposefully keeping himself from competing with other players on the usual terms. the most literalized internal conflict possible.

anyway apparently the eye scar he gave himself at the beginning of season 5 is fading away. which could mean nothing

[stardestroyer81]

Inspired by this post by @artpro86, I wanted an excuse to draw my latest blorbo, Cindy Bear, in a similar fashion... it didn't take me too long to be struck with an iconic reaction image to redraw with her instead.

[causeimanartist]

I got carded at the mall because Paul Blart thought I was under 18

[outlying-hyppocrate]

well. did you fucking miss me.

[crescentneko]

Lmao ive fallen off

Aka I got depressed 💀 will be a bit b4 regular posting again, sry to the 2 ppl who care I post fjdkdkdm

[acquiescest]

irt the lrb what would you say if i said liam & noel spent new years 2023 together in paris

what would you say if i said liam bought the house in france (the one with noel's name carved into the walls) in march 2023 and that month noel talked about wanting to spend several months in paris

which could mean nothing

[egg-emperor]

so gonna be real I barely do life updates here anymore but I've got some bullshit coming up in my personal life that's not looking good. I said I was working on finding out what's wrong with my health from doctors and getting help for a bunch of stuff in my life in general and getting a support system and stuff and I was and it was going well and things were looking up

but now I've been forcefully inducted into some programme thing to push me into doing something I'm physically incapable of doing with my disability but it's apparently mandatory or I'll lose some of the support. I don't know why they decided I can when they know of my issues (and they haven't even recieved the form where they're supposed to be checking for my capability yet so wtf) but apparently there's no way for me to opt out and it's going to last for a year at least

and I've seen a lot of negative things about this program when I wasn't even seeking bad reviews, the majority is negative. so my life might be about to go to shit for a while and I'm already feeling miserable and it hasn't even started yet lol. this may genuinely badly affect my mental and physical health which I've been working so hard to deal with lately so it's very upsetting and stressful

I hope it's not going to take up all my time and I can still be as active as I want to be here because it's one of the things that actually brings some brightness to my life. I also hope all the stress it's going to put me through doesn't affect my behavior here and seep into what I do but I'll try my hardest not to let that happen because my blog is one of the very few positive things in my life atm

best case scenario is they realize I can't do this and take me off it but it's not looking good. that would be more likely in a perfect world where people could take invisible (well mostly invisible for me) disabilities seriously. because I'm not even that hopeful about the doctor stuff at this point, maybe it's just because it's taking so damn long for the referrals I need for them to check me out in the areas needed but I don't know if they'll even find out what's up with my chronic pain and or if I'll get a diagnosis

so yeah I think I'm actually just screwed and life is about to become even more painful and exhausting for me than it already is and a hell of a lot more stressful as a result but maybe if it leads to my health worsening like fainting in front of people again it'll be enough for them to see that this was a bad idea haha. I mean first of all my first meeting about this has been booked for me the day I'm literally taking an 24 hour ECG test because they won't even let the doctors try to finally find out what's wrong with me before pushing me to do this ffs

[arabela25]

Soarele și Luna, Pasha Parfeni | Moldova, Eurovision Song Contest 2023

[shikai-the-storyteller]

I like to imagine that, after Pepito goes to sleep, Tilin's spirit visits him in his dreams. She kisses him on the forehead and tells him happy birthday and reassures him that his parents love him, and when he asks how she could know that, Tilin just says: "Because we share a dad, and I know he loves me too."

[piningpercussionist]

(ooc)

Fellas. What if I just. Replied to shit completely out of order? How would we feel abt that?

(I'm still having blockage of the writer's variety... but I want to try to respond to things. So badly. But also my inherent desire to be as chronological as possible...... sgchdhhdjcshdj)

[sinkat-arts]

Daisuga doodle dump. Sad apart, happier (and snugglier) together;;;

[alullinchaos]

ok speak your language day has been fun but it's 8pm, i'm sweating, and i've just had one of the best days This Year or perhaps in Recent Memory so. i just wanna talk about it. without translating into spanish day got even better because i went to my local library + played bingo (if you won bingo then you got to pick a book from the selection they had available) and i won six books, several of which i am very excited about :} i love books so much . its unreal . but yeah i had a really fun time and got pictures of everything which i normally forget to do just. the speech, and then this, i've had a good day today and i wanna celebrate that (even if I'm sweating profusely at the moment despite wearing basically a tank top and some like? capris?)

[bloodbathfortwo]

What does everyone think of Nigel Forbes-Colbie ever getting pregnant? It doesn't matter how you interpret it: Omegaverse, males can get pregnant Au, Trans! Nigel. Just tell me your guys' headcanons of Nigel's pregnancy: The changes, the hardships, the softness, and the vulnerabilities.

[mistystarshine]

Time To Choose. As a reminder, Burning Feathers is enemies to lovers Chaggie and Fade is Guitarspear amnesia AU.