#haven’t read waking hours yet so I’m not sure abt that one

[fiddlersgray]

reading The Dreaming and…wow. Daniel’s characterization is not super great, but I really can’t explain why. Is someone who is way better at words then me kind of able to tell me their thoughts? (Total invitation to essay on this post)

[strawglicks]

Sorry for the ramble in your inbox incoming- I'm a really huge fan of your analysis type posts like the ones about Cathal and recently Flint ;A; So I hope its ok to maybe throw in my own 2 cents about Cogs/their society- (Sorry this gets rambly I thought about this last night and writing this like an hour after waking up lol)

I think what alot of people kind of (I wouldnt say ignore- more of:) don't really get is that I dont believe characters like Cathal or Flint have bad tendencies because they really want to in a way, (I kind of worded that poorly but point is) but because their society rewards and encourages that type of behavior. I think you said something kind of similar on Cathals post- But especially for Flint, whose a Bossbot (Who are literally the embodiment of a toxic workplace and elitism. I believe a old snippet from the TTO magazines says "They have no real skills of their own, just the ability to push down others and stay on top!" Or something to that nature.) he has to be demanding and imposing. There is no benefit to him in being kind. (Like looking at Misty for example) And don't get me wrong I don't believe that if Flint and Cathal were removed from Cog society they'd be better/objectively nicer (Like Flint not being condescending to Toons and Cathal not making people do things for him and being encouraged to try) But I do wonder how much of it is pressure, or how much of it is egged on and rewarded. Atleast in the aspects it relates to how they treat others.

(..And also I wonder what happens to Cogs that don't get jobs and are seen as ..not functioning. Since Graham was freaking the hell out in "Meeting Of Two Minds" over the possibility of not getting the job. I have a whole thing about this actually in my oc lore but thats another thing entirely I'll write about someday I swear)

Also I gasped when I saw the doodle of Graham in the MSI shirt finally a MSI listener Graham truther. I think he'd like the album "How I Learned To" and of course "You'll Rebel To Anything". I associate him mainly with the songs "Lights Out", "On It", and "You're No Fun Anymore" :p (This has been my favorite band since I was like 13 and now I get to spill all my opinions xD) I always imagined him doing the guitar backbend their bassist does! And my final hc is that Flint plays bass and Graham plays the main guitar. I think it fits them .. some people overlook bass when its actually pretty hard to learn from what I hear and vital to the song. (Like heres Feel Good Inc w/o the bass.. feels wrong x_x)

Anyways thanks for reading ;A; take care and happy new year!

RAHHHH EATING THIS UP YUM YUM YUM YES YES YOU GET IT

THe biggest issue with Cogs Inc is that it REWARDS and ENCOURAGES these poor behaviors, worsening these characters as people. ESPECIALLY cathal considering the position of power they’re in. I’m sure it applies to a ton of other cogs too, but unfortunately I haven’t gotten to them yet bc I’m not as insane abt them . LMAO

And yeah since cogs are literally built for work, it’s a wonder what happens to those who can’t find a job as easily as others. Hoping that gets built on since it’s clear in MOTM that these cogs have to actually apply and go to interviews and probably face some trial and error to land a job, just like people IRL.

ALSO. THE BAND HCS. I love it and you’re SOOOO RIGHT about the backbend that is so grahamcore. And yes I’m pretty sure Flint does play bass, I think his creator mailman said smth abt that on their blog . AND IM SO GLAD YOU BROUGHT UP FEEL GOOD INC bc i did draw flint in a demon days shirt in that same animatic . And ive def drawn them in the same shirt a couple times in the past too . I’ve always imagined him to be a Gorillaz fan, maybe graham too

Anyway ty for these thoughts im eating them up and leaving no crumbs . I love when ppl come to ramble in my inbox bc discussing this stuff IS SO FUN and a good outlet for me esp when i might be having art burnout rn .

[combeferres-mothematics]

oooo i wanna know more abt les amis camping trip!!!!!

:D Oh this is one of my favorites. All the Amis (and Marius and Gavroche) decide to go camping, and it's very chaotic, and reading over it, I think it's a part of my reincarnation au too. :0

Snippets below!!

Courfeyrac groaned. “Bahorel, why couldn’t you have picked somewhere closer?” Bahorel smirked, gently flicking the back of his head as he lifted himself back into a sitting position. “It’s supposedly really nice there, waterfalls everywhere.” “Where did you even get this place from?” Jehan asked, leaning over the seats to show Bahorel his phone, where he’d been looking up the State park they were going to. “It’s in North Carolina. North Carolina, Bahorel!” Bahorel scratched his head, a sheepish grin on his face. “Well, it turned out to be a recommendation from a friend of a friend of a friend.” Grantaire laughed, gently punching him in the arm. “It’s always a friend of a friend of a friend with you.” “What can I say?” Bahorel shrugged. “I have a lot of friends, who have a lot of friends, who have even more friends.”

This one always makes me giggle when I open it

"Are we stopping here for a long time?" Gavroche hopped out of the car, almost disappearing into the woods before Courfeyrac grabbed him by the back of his shirt and returned him to the car.  "Not so fast, bud."  "No fair! You all are out here!" Gavroche pouted, glaring at Courfeyrac as he crossed his arms. "We don't want you to get lost." Enjolras reasoned. "You have a habit of disappearing and we need you to stay close." "Why can't I explore close to here?" Gavroche demanded, climbing into Bahorel's lap. "I can be good! ��..If I want to."

Morning found Combeferre in Enjolras’ hammock, the smaller man asleep on his chest, sprawled over him like a weighted blanket. Though he had insisted that he was to sleep alone, sometime during the night he’d crawled into his friend’s bed. Enjolras of course, didn’t mind, just snuggled up to him like he’d done many times at home, his head resting on Combeferre’s chest while the med student’s fingers tangled into his curls, their legs intertwined as they rested.

It took less than an hour for most of the others to wake up, smelling burnt coffee, which was quickly vetoed by Joly, who voluntold Bahorel to make the new drink, gingerly taking Courfeyrac’s disaster to dump, so no one would drink it and accidentally be poisoned. “I’m sure it wouldn’t be that bad,” Courfeyrac complained as Joly disposed of it. “It was just burnt!” “Better safe than sorry.” Joly brushed his hands off, going to settle on Bossuet’s lap while Courfeyrac pouted, sitting in a camp chair beside Marius.  “I drink your coffee every morning and haven’t died yet.” Marius stated comfortingly, reaching a hand out of the blanket he was wrapped in to pat the center’s shoulder.  “Thanks Marius.”

Random out of context quotes that always make me cackle:

"I found a toad, guys." Marius smiled sheepishly as he held up a small toad. "I named him Napoleon."

“Say thank you to my butt, R put Bossuet’s up wrong the first time.”  "Alright."

"Got it." Grantaire grinned and set aside a few hammocks to form the bottom layer of his masterpiece, a hammock city that was sure to be slightly dangerous for anyone trying to navigate it. But what was an Ami's trip without a little danger?

“You’re always starving.” Bossuet moved his sandwich away from grabby little hands. “And no, this is my food, get your own.” “Meanie.” Gavroche slumped back into his seat, crossing his arms.

[ennui-gt]

Here it is. A Piece Of Borrower Content Written Entirely In Stream Of Consciousness:

AN: so this is incomplete and very…needs revisions to the timeline to incorporate some things I added later! It’s the original universe that Mira’s from! I edited it like Slightly to just change Ross’s name to Ross (if u see Max anywhere that’s his old one I just felt like changing it so that’s just him but different. Anyway) Everything's under the readmore tab, cheers!

The Library Fairy:

-

Basic Plot (Chrono, comic starts from human perspective abt the ‘legend of the library fairy’ ig maybe. Nothing here is permanent cept the characterization)

Part A

1- Mira is borrower currently chillin in a college library

2- She lives off of the cafe on the second floor nd reads lots and lots of stuff about everything when the upper floors close (lower floor open 24/7 but upper floors r vacant p much after 12:00 AM)

3- she starts getting increasingly curious about human stuff cos she’s literate nd books r pry neat

4- it starts one night when she spots an unattended notebook and a half eaten blueberry muffin, nd it’s 12:30 so nobody’s coming back in atm (it’s the 80s so no laptops for the plebians quite yet)

5- so she goes ‘welp’ nd takes part of the muffin, then sees the work on the page and goes ‘hmmmm this is incorrect’ so she helps our and leaves notes here n there to point the kid in the right direction and puts down some book refs for further study bcos at this point she’s been there for 2 years and she knows where most things are

6- she stays behind to see if the human comes back for it, hidden in a hidey hole near the desk

7- human comes in, sees notebook, practically melts w relief nd stuffs it in his bag

8- next day human comes back nd leaves nother notebook and a cookie, along w a hidden camera

9- Mira goes ‘o boy, this a trap, innit’

10- Mira then decides ‘eh whatever I haven’t had contact w anyone in years now so I might as well’

11- she steals the camera film nd leaves a lil scrap of paper saying ‘nice try ;)’ on it

12- student comes back, sees paper, goes ‘dammit’, then leaves note addressed to the ‘library fairy’ and another cookie, as well as more of their work for her to help with

13- bout a decade goes by and now the “Library Fairy” is an urban myth, it’s currently 2003 so she’s also wound up on the school’s unofficial Wikipedia page under ‘local cryptids’

14- most library employees know of her but they don’t go looking out of fear stemming from superstitions bout her, somehow the legend grew from ‘can’t be photographed’ to ‘a student once saw her and died that day’

15- there’s now a small shrine devoted to her where ppl bring offerings hoping to get good grades in return, sometimes they will leave papers for her to proofread nd stuff

16- new prof (named Alexei) finds online article thinks he Knows What’s Up bcos he had a borrower friend as a kid, but they left when borrower’s fam found out about them knowing each other

17- he leaves note wedged in one of her secret entrances behind outlet, asking if she can meet w him at some point

18- Mira, already In it, goes ‘Okay. Alright. This has gone on for long enough. Time to go and never return’ but ofc she’s curious as all hell and like she decides she will at least honor the guy’s request for a convo b4 she goes, but on her terms and w/o speaking face 2 face

19- they Talk in the library after hours, bcos he paid off the janitor to let him stay after hours nd most of the student employees recognize him as a prof nd leave him alone

20- they talk again for every subsequent night

21- she uhhhh finally decides to reveal herself nd prays that her hunch was right nd he won’t try to grab her or anything

22- he doesn’t but she’s nervous so she winds up gettin caught in her own climbing rope like idiot, is now dangling from ceiling in tangled mess

23- he stifles chuckle nd she says smthn sarcastic

24- he moves closer and offers to untangle her

25- she’s like ‘please’

26- so he do, but her grip on the rope slips nd he has to catch her

26- so now she’s in his hand and he just sets her down and now he’s a bumbling embarrassed mess bcos he said he wasn’t going to hold her and he just did and o dear pls forgib him

28- nd she’s like ‘dude u just saved my life it’s fine ur fine chill’

29- internally she’s going HOLY FUCK AAAAAAA but externally, her human’s already worked up enough as it is so she’s gotta b the level headed one

29.5- after a while they both kinda get used to each other more, he gets tenure, they celebrate, some more stuff happens, Aleksei got married (not to Mira, Mira hasn’t actually rly thought about being in a relationship w anyone cos she’s laser focused on gaining as much knowledge as possible)

30- eventually Alexei’s like ‘hey so I’m dean of faculty for the biotech branch now uhhhh would u like actual job teaching students? Cos, uh, you can do it remotely thru online lectures n stuff, no in person interaction, and I uh was just kinda wondering—‘

31- she’s like ‘yes. Yes!!! LET ME HELP PEOPLE OFFICIALLY KINDA’

32- so now she’s a professor, and has revealed her Secret a few times here n there to a number of the faculty, nd she has recorded her own findings in a personal journal

33- ‘humans will treat u like a human if they think ur human first. The kids call it ‘catfishing’’

34- enter Ross, an mall goth who accidentally tripped headfirst into a premed program

35- Mira’s favorite field of study is bio so naturally she’s his prof for a majority of his classes

36- being the good boy that he is, he now knows Mira’s secret. There is an Entire Chapter on him finding out and legit just continuing their conversation as if everything was normal bcos he thought that was how he was supposed to handle the situation

37- then she says ‘u can ask questions, u know’ he’s like OH THANK FUCK CAUSE I HAVE SEVEN HUNDRED OF THOSE

38- and now he kinda knows what to look for in terms of ‘do borrowers live here check yes or no’

39-in his apartment, the answer is yes and he mistakenly kinda stumbles upon the mom one night when he wakes up in the middle of the night for Snack and opts to pretend like its not happening. Unfortunately the thing she was trying 2 borrow (piece of crumb cake for Son Boy’s birthday) is the thing he wants 2 eat so he’s like “uh. ‘Scuse me, ma’am.” and he peels back the saran wrap on the other side of the plate, takes piece, nd then leaves some there for her

40-so now the woman is like ‘welp guess it time 2 Leave’

.1- she and husband Talk

.2-they decide it best 2 go

.3-theyre Packing

.4-lil bab Ellie confused

.5-hawk attacke

.6-cut to Ross

41- Ross also happens to work at a bar and he goes outside for a break

43- he finds smal child—smol smal—on the sidewalk and said child is missing an arm, nd has lost a lot of blood, so he’s uhhhhh Losing It highkey

43.5-parents r nowhere 2 b seen, but the hawk is nearby and circling. Ross gets an idea of what just happened

44- he up and leaves work, thankfully his apartment is above the shop so he jumps up the fire escape w the child and

45- he make tourniquet

46- he calls Mira nd asks her 2 come over to ASAP. he’s A Mess at this point

47- it is Very touch and go, kid needs blood, Mira is the only viable donor so she’s just gotta pray that the blood type is fine and won’t kill him

48- and then eventually they manage 2 stave infection thru antibiotics properly dosed to his size, Mira does Math and Prays basically

49- ‘bout a month in, kid wakes up

50- kid doesn’t rember much since he’s only 3

51- hes v scared of Ross at first but over time he gets used 2 the human

52- kid (elliot) starts 2 call Ross ‘dad’ after a while

53- Ross: *internal screaming but in a good way*

54- the end kinda for now

Part 2

A- New Borrowers In The Building

—three of em. paranoid dad, mom, nd daughter that’s Elliot’s age so he’s pumped

B- Elliot offers them a place 2 stay briefly

C- he knows by now bout like, how borrowers don’t typically interact w humans and Auntie Mira’s a bit of a weird case so he just doesn’t tell em bout his dad being the human

D- the kid finds out first nd doesn’t tell the parents, but they figure it out later kinda and think that it’s a ‘o god he’s being kept as a pet’ sitch so they’re >:| abt it

E- they move out and try to take Elliot w them (by force bcos they think he’s brainwashed) but he escapes and makes it to Ross, who’s like “uhhhhhh”

F- and the mom come out the hole near the counter n starts yelling at Ross, who is…kinda used to it since Mira brings in ppl who need help from time 2 time and they typically don’t react well when they’re lucid enough to understand what’s going on. He’s just not used to being questioned about his own kid

G- so they’re like “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING WITH HIM”

H- and he’s like “r…raising him???”

I- and Ellie steps up and he’s like “this is my dad. I decided he was my dad when I was three. He’s being a good parent”

J- and Ross is like “yeah what he said. I’m a good parent.”

K- Ross is riding that high til the end of fucking time but like back to the story at hand

L- this is when the husband comes out nd is like “lissen. wifey. ily but that is a very big human and he hasn’t grabbed us yet so let’s count our blessings and gtfo”

M- but she’s like “uh no we stay until I’m sure Elliot is Safe and fucking Sound”

N- so they stay for dinner nd stick around a little longer.

O- Val (the kid) gets closer 2 Elliot and also Ross a bit

P- Mira shows once or twice, first time she shows up they’re like “oh god it’s the crazy doctor lady this all makes sense now” (bcos Mira does check up on as many borrower families as possible in her free time so word has got around by now Of her, and the number by which to contact her in case her services r needed)

Q- After a month or so, then they decide to leave bcos they’re like “look we get that ur son is ur son and he only has one arm and in our profession that is kind of a death sentence but we can’t have our kid getting used to dealing w humans who know about our existence” so they go and leave on a kind of sour note bcos Ellie can do anything he wants to do just as well as any other borrower Thank You Very Much and Ross is ready to fite anyone who thinks otherwise

R- Elliot starts trying 2 b more independent, basically from now on he’s like ‘I can do everything my Damn Self Thanks’

S- but uh he does it to a point where he’s going out of the way to endanger himself

T- so they get into a fite about it and ross Yells and Elliot is like ‘kthxbye’

U- and the boi just. Fuckin bolts. Runs Away. Ross is a Mess, he starts smoking again (he quit cold turkey the day he took Elliot in) to curb the depression, he’s jus. Not doin good, worried that his son is dead and the last time they talked it’d ended badly

V- FREEDOM!!!1! Except Ellie doesn’t kno how to take care of himself so it’s a rough month or so and then he runs into some other borrowers livin in their own town in the wild ig, chillin, being hella independent, and he’s like “uh yes ofc I will join u, I was w my dad for a while but.........” he neither confirms nor denies that his dad’s dead but everyone kinda just assumes.

Part 3

W-anyway a year goes by and then the borrower group gets hit hard w some kind of sickness ig. Elliot gets it too he’s basically incapacitated n drifting in and out of lucidity. So. They contact the weird crazy doctor lady who hangs around humans, a.k.a. Mira, and she’s like “oh. fuck. I know this kid.” bcos she does, u kno, and she jus treats em all for their ailment and shows them how to make antibiotic poultice thing in case smthn like it happens again. Mold. Penicillin is basically what it is

X-she and Elliot hav a Chat (Mira basically yells at him a lot) once he’s fixed up and he decides he’s gonna visit his dad but he makes it very clear that he is a Grown Up (he’s not, he’s literally sixteen), and he is living on his own now

Y- he agrees to stay for a week tho since he misses his home a lot tbh and Ross is just. Over the fucking moon to know he’s ALIVE, he’s not gonna fuck up their relationship by insisting that he stay. Or like, by keeping him ofc he would never

Z- unfortunately the borrower community put two and two together and figured out his dad’s human so they have his stuff packed up when he gets back w mira, who’s ready to go the fuck off on them

End 1:

-Ellie is living at Ross’s place atm and hopeful about the future basically. He eventually will go off on his own but he’ll keep in contact w his dad and stuff

Part C.5

55- few yrs later

56- elliot is Adult now he does adult borrower stuff

57- he moves out

58- finds nice borrower gf (her name’s Tess)

59- doesn’t tell her about his dad being human but talks about his dad a LOT

60- so when she asks to meet said father he’s just like “uh. Maybe we don’t do that actually”

61- and she’s like “y tho”

62- and he’s like “bcos”

63- anyway she decides to look into it cos she knows he goes to see his dad nd keep in touch but his dad is allegedly “a recluse who lives in the big scary human’s walls to avoid other ppl”

64- which is. Not true in the slightest tbqh he’s def not an introvert he’s just a workaholic and he Is the big scary human

65- anywho they run into Val and her wife and she’s like “how’s Ross been?” And Elliot is acting Very Suspish so she, being Smart, calls it immediately and is like “oh shit u haven’t told her yet have u”

66- Tess: “told me what”

67- Val: “El’s dad is a human, bro.”

68- Tess: “I’m sorry?”

69- this results in a Big Fight and they separate for like, a month. Elliot blames Val bcos he’s being irrational and doesn’t wanna admit to the fact that lying to his girlfriend for over a year was Real Bad Actually, but over time he’s like ‘yeah it’s my fault sry for snapping at u’ cos he works thru his emotions n stuff

70- Eventually gf comes back cos she’s like “ok so. I understand why you lied to me about your dad. It was a dick move but I do get it and I still care about you a lot. I would like. To meet him.”

80- this is a lie she does not want to meet him she is doing this bcos she does not want to lose Elliot and that outweighs the fear of his dad

81- so they go to meet him but she’s just kinda. Behind the wall at first like “that’s a crazy big human this is crazy ur crazy it’s time to gO”

82- Val is also there bcos she hasn’t seen Ross in a while

83- they eventually coax her out of hiding

84- and by that I mean Val picks her up and drags her out into the open by force bcos she basically freezes up the second she catches sight of Ross and Val’s like “u didn’t come all this way for nothing, bich”

85- they have a Painfully Awkward First Meeting, Tess is trying her best but oh god he’s just too fucking. Larg. Ellie ur dad too big

86- tbh tho the ice kinda breaks after Ellie and Ross get into a fight over smthn stupid (im thinking Elliot grumbles bout Ross’s hair being unruly and he’s worried that mira’s using it like a personal storage system again and Ross is like “I’ve been keeping better track of that actually” and then like a little line of paper clips and a few hand-bound notebooks tied together w some string fall out of his fucking mane and he’s like “I can explain”

87- “dad you can’t keep letting her use your hair like a fucking NEST”

88- Tess is laughing now cos god damn this was not what she was expecting

89- that’s it the end it ends w Tess laughing at them being idiots good times r had by all

Uhhhh that’s it so far. I have More but it’s kinda jumbled rn and I need to fit stuff in places. Anyway.

[ironmandeficiency]

home

pairing: achilles (oc) / reader

word count: 2256

summary: sometimes a deviation from a simple routine can yield highly pleasant results.

req: May I request a short drabble (or whatever you feel like writing) for Achilles with 3 or 6 from the first prompt list? Thank you JJ, I love you - @roseofalderaan (3- smiling into a kiss, 6- chasing someone’s lips after they pull away)

a/n: i went with both bc both is good (and also bc this boy deserves all the love ever). read all abt him here!

“will that be all, commander?” you questioned. your workday was drawing to a close and you wanted nothing more to get your nightly escort home and wind down from yet another stressful day at the office. the nightly ritual had begun not long after you got this job and befriended the coruscant guard, some of them sticking a little closer to you during the day when possible.

but only one ever walked you home, claiming that the streets he worked to protect every day were no place for someone so… unsullied, he would say, guiding you home with a steady hand on your back and a smile hidden by his bucket. his soft laugh would bring yours bubbling to the surface like a simmering pot of homemade soup, nourishing your soul and leaving you full of joy and… something else.

thoughts of one of said guardsmen had you zoning out while fox was talking, very likely giving you another task to complete before the people you’d need to go to left for the night. you had spotted him over fox’s shoulder from where you stood several feet from him, having a gentle conversation with hearth and a few others. it made you so happy to see him bonding with his brothers this way, getting the attention and care he deserves from those closest to him.

fox notices the distracted, glazed look in your eyes and knows that you’re not hearing a single word he’s saying. looking over his shoulder, he’s quick to realize why: achilles. “that’ll be all,” fox assures you with a hand on your elbow before turning to take care of the task himself. he can give his younger brother this much happiness, what little bit he’s able to get. “get home safe.”

ever since he joined the guard, fox worried for achilles. he was too headstrong, had seen too much in so few years that he wasn’t going to let this assignment beat him into the submission that allowed many others to cope day to day. it would have made his life a little easier, fox believed, but it would have also made him believe he was unworthy of the joy found when with you.

when you’re dismissed, you make a beeline to where your trooper stood bucket in hand, a gentle smile gracing his lips. maker, he looked so young when he smiled. you’d do anything to keep that smile on his face. lacing your fingers with the hand not holding his bucket, you smile at him and his eyes are immediately caught by yours.

achilles was the first to speak, hand squeezing yours as he felt himself ascend to the stars when you smiled at him. “are you ready to go, cyar’ika?” hearth notices the way some of the weight rises from his vod’s shoulders when you’re nearby, the smile he wore a bit more genuine.

“i’m more than ready, ‘chilles. it’s been a long day and i’m ready to be home.” he nods and bids his knowing brothers a farewell for the next while. until you got to your front door, every iota of his attention would be devoted to you and only you; the way your bright smile alone could power galactic city, the sparkle in your eyes when he said something that brought out your laughter. he’d walk every kilometer of this planet if it meant he could keep seeing such unbridled joy radiate from you.

but these moments — these little pockets of time where he was someone more than who he really was, yet nobody significant all the same — would tide him over until the next one arrived with the same inevitability as waking in the mornings.

conversation was a swift river, flowing freely within its confines. there were things you both believed should never be said; they served as the riverbed, the bounds within which conversation flowed. everything else, the things you were allowed to say, were the water. they were powerful and clear in intention yet stayed within their bounds. the two of you floated along it with ease, letting the currents sway you however they willed. there was never anything to fight against, never with him.

he recounts the day’s most notable and happy events (a shiny’s codpiece detached while trying to rescue a tooka from the top of a vendor’s stall, and hearth was glitter-bombed when trying to give fox dinner) with his usual spark of animation, leaving out the darker events that always serve as reminders of his harsh reality. you don’t need to be tarnished by his sadness, the daily struggle he and his brothers face simply because of the circumstances of their existence. that wasn’t your fight to take up arms in, not your sadness to feel.

no, he couldn’t dim your light with his permeating darkness.

it’s why he still hasn’t kissed you the way his lips ached to, why his hands haven’t held your hips as he tasted your honeyed smile for the first time.

you told him of the menial tasks that had been made more than you bargained for when you stumbled onto two maintenance workers snogging in an elevator, the small muffin that was gifted by the commander of the 420th on his way to the office of his senator friend, and the way it paired well with your lunch. achilles hung onto every word and the way he could hear your smile in every syllable, saving it for lonely nights when he needed something to distract him from himself.

the thing about time is that when you don’t pay attention to it, it’s quick to make haste with its passing.

sooner than either of you would have enjoyed, the door to your apartment was in front of you, a beacon of home tinged with an afterglow of loneliness that seemed to never leave. yes, all of your belongings were here and your bed was housed within those walls, but none of those things made it a home. something was missing, but exactly what that something was had yet to be discovered.

his hand fell back to his side, the sight of your door a reset button to his decorum. your hand was colder without his in it, you noticed for the first time. you didn’t like knowing this and desperately yearned to get that warmth back immediately despite the fact you were walked to and from work by the man in front of you every day and it’d only be a few hours until you’d feel it again.

you couldn’t wait hours to hold his hand again, to be surrounded by his radiance in all its glory. in a bold move you never thought yourself capable of, you extended an invitation you’d mulled over for weeks.

“i’ll, uh, see you in the morning—”

“would you like to come in?”

achilles was stunned. why you would want to invite him into your home? this place was your sanctuary, your respite from the workday and from all expectations the world thrust upon you. he didn’t believe himself worthy of such an honor, but only a fool would look a gift blurrg in the mouth.

so he followed you inside slowly, eyes flicking around the entire space to drink up everything he could. this was an opportunity to know you better, to see you at your most comfortable. “welcome to my humble abode, make yourself at home.”

there was a soft-looking blanket draped across the back of your couch that he imagined you curling up under on cool nights spent watching holofilms. photos of you and your friends covered the walls, smiles bright and abundant. there was a bowl of fruit on the kitchen counter that he was eyeing and you were quick to notice how his attention was drawn to it. “you can have some, if you’d like. i have plenty to share.”

how were you so generous with what you had, being so willing to share everything you owned in this vast galaxy with a clone? better yet, how were you real?

a pink lady apple was snagged from its former resting place and relieved of a bite-sized chunk. achilles hummed in enjoyment of the sweet-tart flavor that invaded his mouth as he joined where you sat on the couch, hand patting the space beside you. he obliged and was able to wedge himself between you and the arm of the couch but only when he leaned a little closer to you than he would have ever dared to outside of this safe haven.

you two sat in almost-silence for a while (achilles was still enjoying his apple, after all), a small bit of his weight pressing cozily into your side with one arm resting on the back of the couch. to be honest, you weren’t sure what to do now that he was here. so much time had been devoted to how you’d get him inside that there was not even a vague idea as to what you were supposed to do now.

the armor he wore did nothing to ruin the coziness of the moment, still being able to enjoy his company and the comfort his presence brought you. it was a big reason you felt so safe when walking home (besides the fact he had a blaster and was very proficient in wielding it). his apple core was soon the only thing left and it was gingerly set upon the endtable beside the arm of the couch he was close to, but after that there was stoicity.

neither of you knew where to go from here.

you turned to face him to ask if he wanted to watch a holofilm the same time he turned to ask you whether he could have another apple and wow you’d never been that close to his face before.

achilles drank in the proximity like a parched man on tatooine, branding the image of your slightly blushing face into his retinas for later enjoyment. then you laughed softly and he was a goner, an honest to maker goner. he was going to say something, he swears he was, but it slipped his mind for the moment. you were too busy biting your bottom lip and letting your chin fall, depriving him of those eyes he saw every time he closed his.

he couldn’t have that.

his fingertips took your chin, lightly lifting it back to the angle it formerly was posed at, where he could see your eyes and the smile behind them. in turn, your eyes were flitting between his eyes and lips that you were positive weren’t that plump before… were they?

then he pulled your chin ever closer and closed the vast centimeters that had kept you apart.

you weren’t sure how your lips had been able to resist the magnetic pull of his for so long now that they were together. truthfully, you had no clue how you were going to pull apart now that you knew what they felt like against yours. it was sweet velvet bliss, the taste of him. the pink lady mingled with something else that you knew had to be all him and oh stars was it intoxicating.

pulling away? since when was that an option? if it hadn’t been one before, it became one when you needed to breathe again. his lips chased yours, desperate to keep the blessed point of contact that he’d never wanted with anyone before you. the intimacy had your mind spinning.

he liked it, he actually liked it. he genuinely enjoyed that kiss and was wanting to continue kissing you, and who were you to keep him waiting? the magnetism won yet again and as he pulled you into his arms, you could feel him smiling into the kiss and you smiled back just as lovesick as he did.

muscles were slowly beginning to notify you of a dull ache caused by an angle you were unused to. you ignored it until feigning ignorance was no longer an option. it was time to move.

leaving the living room was an olympic effort. what if the boat in your river grew holes the moment one of you rose from the couch? how would you save the boat and not get washed away by the current? the answer was simple: get a bigger boat.

armor was shed and sleepclothes changed into before you guided him to your bed where you opened the blankets up for him, beckoning him ever closer and into your waiting arms. any hesitance was nowhere to be found as he crawled into the bed and wrapped himself around you. once he was under, time was taken to find a comfortable way to sleep. comfort was found with surprising ease, like he had been climbing into this bed for eons instead of seconds.

the change in environment did nothing but allow you closer to each other, nothing being damaged like you had both feared. in your bed, under your blankets and on your pillows, he still tasted of the same pink ladies and honey and clove he did on your couch. he still held your face in one trained hand that had known little more than violence before you came into his life.

as you carded your fingers through his hair, his other hand being held tenderly to your lips with all the affection you could muster, the final piece came together. achilles was what your apartment was missing, the building turning into a home at long last.

[henriiiii-1001old]

rambling pt 9(?) - a lot of stuff xddd

sooo i’ve been coming up with a few hcs that i wanna share, and i really hope you guys don’t mind. i haven’t rambled in a while anyways sooo yeah

gonna put this under the “read more” since i might put a lot, but here’s what i’ll be rambling abt:

fnaf 3 updated hcs! fnaf sb (just a lil since the game hasn’t come out yet) william and herny’s springlock incident (warning for most of the hc being very deailed in how the incident went and being set in a hospital setting!!!)

enjoy!

updated fnaf 3

sooo this honestly only has a few changes to it, but i’m gonna explain it in detail bc why not.

char still gets the job at fazbear’s fright and hope is still the phone dude/gal of this universe (she just checks up on them every night before their shift to make sure they made it there alive). so char’s first night goes pretty well, they slept half the shift and just decided they’d leave an hour early just bc nothing was really going on. next night though, they see something on one of the far cameras that had recently been installed: a giant, rotting bunny suit. char decided that it was a good idea to see the fucker up close, so that’s what they did.

and then william, now springtrap, awakens with no memory of his life. the only things he remembers are the name “henry” and the memory of seeing yellow eyes. everything else is hazy to him. char thinks that someone had maybe died in the suit a long time ago, and they decided that he was now their friend (and they called him fluff butt just because his tail was still fluffy unlike the rest of him xddd).

weeks pass, and springtrap gains a few of his memories, growing close to char as they are his only friend. he thinks that char is henry for a while since he saw char’s amber eyes, and henry has yellow eyes. char’s boyfriend (his name is franky say hello uwu) eventually ended up visiting one night bc char invited him over, and he got to meet the big guy himself. char was being a bit of a butt to springtrap though since they hadn’t gotten much sleep, and franky didn’t blame them. they really didn’t like him calling them henry, and out of pity franky told spring that he could call franky henry. that’s when springtrap also remembered the name “ryan”, the other bitch he slept with when henry wasn’t around. (they did later figure out that springtrap was william bc of this fact but no one wanted to tell him yet bc char thought he could maybe change since he lost literally all of his memories).

another few weeks pass and springtrap remembers a lot of his life now, if not all of the memories he had before he died (somehow. not even he knows how he gained his memories). springtrap is now exhibiting behaviors the old william did, cocky, master of manipulation and guilt tripping, the god complex shit, etc. one day, char told him everything about him, not knowing that he had regained most of his memories. he then decided that maybe he could try and get some remnant by betraying char and killing them, but they quickly caught onto what he was doing and was chased around the building. henry and mk (not michael this time surprise surprise :D) rush in, char’s arm gets broken, mk gets char out while henry beats springtrap with an axe, lights the place on fire, and everyone rushes char to the hospital.

oh, and charlie just.. watched the whole thing happen bc she didn’t want anyone knowing she was still around, so char and charlie don’t become friends anymore. sorry guys :’(

fnaf sb

short section thank goodness. sooo all i really have planned out for sb is that annabeth (tape girl) gets a job at the new pizzaplex, gregory is some random kid who got lost one night and he got home safely when he found annabeth. cult hears abt this and decides they’ll take the kid’s remnant, but thing is char, hope and their two other friends, jake and sammy found them about to kill him. sammy decides he’ll bolt into the group and snatch the kid and.. it actually works? gregory eventually ends up safe but sammy gets kidnapped by the cult. char tried saving him but alex the bastard shot them >:(

i do wanna say something else but i’m gonna save that for later lol (it’s spoilers for the end of my au qwq)

the springlock incedent

aiiight this one i’ve actually been thinking recently, so sorry if things get out of place quickly

another warning just in case: this hc has a somewhat detailed explanation of ho the event went, and it mentions a lot of blood, suffocation, and the hc is set in a hospital for a while. please look away of you are sensitive to this type of content.

henry and william were practicing for a performance one day, and things were going great. their wives just took care of the kids outside since it was a weekend. plus the kids wanted to come and watch the performance. henry and will first practiced in a lone room so the kids couldn’t see yet. thing is... something reeaallly bad happened.

something set off the springlocks in fredbear, but henry didn’t make a sound. he trained himself to shut up when he experienced pain, so he just stood there and took it. william noticed and then realized something went wrong, so he then panicked as he tried getting henry out of the suit and instead made springbonnie’s springlocks set off as well. through the pain, suffocation, and lots of blood loss, william managed to get both of them out of the suits. he had no energy left in him, and henry had already passed out from blood loss, so all william could do was sleep..

carol came in to check on them and thought they had died. she and kathryn immediately called for medical service, and henry and will were rushed to the hospital. the kids wanted to come to see if they were alright, and carol and kathryn had no choice but to let them come along. they were not allowed to see them in person yet since the image of seeing them extremely bloody would leave the children scarred, and they didn’t want that.

william wakes up the next day, quickly adjusting to his surroundings. he tried sitting up, and while it was very painful he managed to sit up. he saw that kathryn had stayed with them for the night, and she was asleep on the couch. he also saw henry in the same room as him, sleeping peacefully. a doctor comes in and lets him know what had happened.

kathryn eventually wakes up and got to talk to william for a bit. she tells him that the kids are okay, but she was informed that henry actually had less of a chance to live since he was punctured by the springlocks much earlier than william, so they had dealt more damage to him.

they stayed in the hospital for a couple of days, william soon beginning to be able to walk around a little bit since he seemed to be healing faster than one normally would (ahemremnantahem). henry still made little to no progress in healing. it was getting to the point where he might even pass away...

henry’s heart monitor suddenly started going flat, and william was the only one in the room. he did whatever he could to save henry, messing with whatever he could in case something worked, but nothing did. he called for doctors and after a very quick and tense 20 seconds, henry was breathing and his heart was pumping, slowly returning back to normal. two hours passed and henry was finally awake.

it did take a while for henry to recover since he was asleep for a while. william did help him a lot, and they got released the next week.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

comet, moon, pluto, aquila, protostar

Thank You vm

Comet- What are you currently frustrated about?

lmaooo oh you know at any given time i’m weaving this rich tapestry of continual frustrations lol.....i’d say i’m in an Upswing Period of [simmering frustration levels closer to the surface] lately too lol like earlier in the week i pushed through a day or two there more casually but then it was like ah jeez here comes the malaise. more specifically today, even just before sitting down to answer this, i emerged from the bathroom to find there was a “dog has pooped inside despite having been outside within the last 10 min” shituation, which was wonderful.....annoyed from Waking by “smh at not being able to adjust my nocturnality, still frustrated about the near success of last friday being thwarted by the dead of night hammering debacle,” & regular Antagonizing Audio issues, aka being stressed by both the [loud, alarming] type sound & the [gross textural misophonia hell] type.....earlier i was like “where is the dish sponge” (still don’t know) & went to get a new, packaged one which had been in a drawer, but that one was gone too, good that there’s no pressing need to wash dishes rn i guess.....still struggling with the “well i guess i’m trying to put myself out there Socially” attempt to find relevant public discords, being generally overwhelmed as actually talking to randos in a group is A Lot & in theory it’s like well you meet someone Specific you’d enjoy talking to & branch off from there but unfortunately you can’t just skip to that step, also i do not genuinely Expect to get to that step either way, also i am not easily finding servers in the 1st place b/c it’s like, well i talk about Interests but what am i interested in? who knows. don’t do art “seriously” enough to rly wanna discuss it much, thought abt Language Learning but one i found wants you to have a verified account lmao like, no thanks. in theory i enjoy Socializing some but in practice it is sure a trial & i have not said anything to anyone anywhere yet, just a “well, not sure what else i could do here situation,” in theory take up an In Person hobby / group to make it all easier but that’s not happening. which, i was also Frustrated remembering oh right i spent a year as measured by my personal age in 1 location, both Pandemic & other [society] problems, & speaking of Interests & Hobbies not having them, i was also >:| over something having kicked in my Math Sensibilities (aka that i like math) & wondering like, would i have enjoyed getting more into math / some particular application, who knows, same but also even more so re: other things i get the sense i’m quite Into, like learning languages & ~performing arts~, which, i at least took math / math related classes into college level courses, which is not true for those other things (took a Language Class: never, took a theatre / drama class: for 1/4 of the schoolyear in 7th grade, & prior to that, just did a scene or two of a play in english class 4th grade, & the approx decade extracurricular of ballet, which is related but of course a different thing. anyhow, annoyed that i Simply Do Not Know & hardly see opportunities to find out on the horizon, although who knows.....which is related to being frustrated about [Society] some more like, thinking about “boy how different would it be if people were guaranteed the right to Essentials For Life like housing, food, medical care, both electricity & the internet Now A Days...” like, agonizing What If there, it is all so unnecessary that It Is Like This......just now someone made an unnecessary Post lmfao thank you xkit.......oh right, i was Frustrated, with an emphasis In Aro / Ace, about Media & Life, what else is new & then, you know, musings on The Theoretical Future & One’s Personal Past that would become even more of a like, audioscape: therapy session topic, these are frustrating things. and all of this answer has been stuff i remember getting Frustrated about in the past 24 hours. Also!!! that last night i was like, i want to play scrabble, so i looked up an online game but the Computer settings are a nightmare like, as far as i could tell the Difficulty settings were mostly attuned to Average Word Length but it was like, yeah you’re playing against this opponent given this effective total familiarity with the most obscure / archaic shit in the scrabble dictionary, not even simply the like, q words / two letter words ppl might happen to know specifically for the purposes of scrabble. there was also no “new game” button?? just had to refresh the page? smh. oh lmfao! also! you Know i was frustrated thinking about Billions, the series / interest that antagonizes you, jokes on you when you hone in on the Quant where it’s like, is he just meant to be the guy who sucks, plus he’s got depression....suppose they do at least handle him w/some sympathy / nonzero Care for this Char acter, but smh at sighing about [bracing yourself for anything promising (cough riawin) to spiral into disaster one way or another, whether it turns into a joke or plot device or just something introduced / built up / demolished for ambient drama/conflict].....what else is new. the periodic cycles of Billions Thoughts lol. was just frustrated at a video’s Editing Cadence basically lmfao. i also find it grating when the word “the jab” is used in tweets re: vaccination, which i just saw, presumably in the same sort of way where i automatically dislike the phrase To Be Fair or referring to food/eating with “fill / filling” or any variants lmfao, or earnest use of the description “hearty”......some words i hate the sound of no matter what, some i hate to hear used in a particular phrase / context......need to simply stop doing things in the middle of answering this b/c it will inevitably involve Frustrations lmfaooo. oh also i was annoyed to wake up to a clear sky. where’s that overcast atmosphere

Moon- Are you currently reading any books? If so, what book(s)?

i am not, but i’ve been considering it! just inconvenient b/c a) i gotta like, choose what book/s to read, & b) i have to read via laptop, which is kind of a pain, & c) like with everything, i always tend to basically read stuff all at once, but i’m also a slow reader lmao, so it’s like, okay, i’m probably basically devoting days on end to Reading Through whatever.....

Pluto- If you could meet anyone, alive or dead, who would you meet?

another classic Fascinating Answer of “i dunno” lol, i’ve never really had a go to answer for this or anything that’s particularly leapt out.....plus re: how i tend to feel nervous with on the spot socializing, the concept of like “if you could have dinner with someone” is too much lmfao like, a waste of time, i’d simply Be Nervous my way completely through it. the only way i could think of things is like, here i go giving someone an interview, i guess, and whomst tf would i feel Prepared to talk to lmfao. relevant to interests it’s like well of course you could ask w. roland things the in depth secret jared questions, or Any questions about quant n billions, but then it’s also like, well, there’s the questions I already have an answer for lol & either you have the same answer or i have a mini monologue, not like i don’t speak in mini monologues all the time if i have something to say at all, and my Questions go like that too lmfao, a disaster already trying to ask people about pertinent Information......never able to think of things re: people who have died, i suppose there’s fun answers re: like, getting lost / unknown Historical Info......when it comes to meeting people i don’t really consider it much in advance b/c i am nervous about everything & aware that any interacting is a Challenge lmfao. whenever these things actually happen, it’s hardly always a disaster, but i’m just improvising in the end. also, i could meet people i actually know but have never met, i.e. you, who i talk to but we are Virtual & Pandemic’d & etc & so on. but i suppose that’s kind of a given lol

Aquila- Do you prefer to read books or watch movies?

i think movies are less Involved for me, like, even if it takes me 3x their runtime (or longer) to watch any videos thanks to getting distracted & stuff, still quicker than i read a book, & unless i’m watching something for the first time and/or really wanting to properly pay attention, i can do other things while putting a movie on, whereas if i’m reading that’s the One Thing i can be doing. but overall i’m like “media, what media” whichever format lol like. haven’t consumed things, don’t often think of specific works i want/plan to consume, don’t often get around to it, etc. classique.....

Protostar- Give a random fact about yourself.

speaking of classic, me struggling to recall 101 info about myself or answer not that out there Questions, but when it’s like “alright hater what are you disgruntled about now” it’s like, Deep Inhale lmfao, but [are you okay? Is Anyone].jpeg on that one as well, we are out here......uh i’m sure i’ve said it before but i’m around 5′11″? maybe 6 ft tall but that might be overdoing it. sort of Average Tall but i am always literally looking down on people lmao.....and bumping my head into a low hanging light fixture around here.....

[iamparadoxic99]

hey i want to know more abt ur ocs! if u dont mind it wld be cool if u could like. tell a little abt them

oh fuck, where do i begin. how about i start with the various random one i just have as a concept and nothing really more. like i got this living ragdoll that just sorta exists to make people happy and enjoys wearing various dresses cause dresses are fucking cute.than i’ve got this vague feral slime that like fuck society and all i just want to consume. and various other i’m forgetting at the mo

then i’ve got this one completly unique and original character that i’ve tried to write something of a story for, but never really posted any sort of finale version. And they’re Jinx teach, a nb writer that had dropped out of college due to agoraphobia that was caused by the high stress envoment of college. And when they woke up on their 21st birthday, june 13th, 2018. meaning they were born on a friday the 13th in june, 1997. Anyways, they wake up and remember their past life as this a Great Evil that once tried to destroy the world. but they’re not motivated to do that anymore cause they like the world they’re living in, even tho it’s just their small apartment they really refuse to go outside of, due to the above mentioned agoraphobia. but yeah they’re like 5′1, got grey eyes, messy mid back at least brown hear. and enjoy wearing large slightly oversized sweater

and i’ve got two other competetly orginal characters, that are dating, whom i have a series of various short stories writen about. One is Melody, an ace succubus, whom more of a huggubus, , and her girlfriend, Sapphire. whom i just realized in the latest piece of writting i’ve realsed for them is half vampire, half something or other. might be dullahan, might be somethign else i don’t know.anyways, there is just system in the world where succubi, whom live in a netherworld sorta of place, make deals with individuals that reside in the mortal plane, as well as some that don’t, to do things for them. usually these things are those that bring the individuals some of pleasure, in exchage for something the succubus believe to be of equal value to what they did. and usually it’s some sort of sex thing, which is reason in this world for why succubi are known as sex demons, but it doesn’t always have to be a sex thing. And that’s what Melody is all about, a succubus only does those non-sexual jobs and such. Which is how she met Sapphire, whom she basically worked as a cosplay model for, so Sapphire could make sure that the cosplays that she was making were good and nothing was off with them. And eventually the two of them started dating and living together. and they’re so in love with each other and i try and do a good job of making everyhing all cute and and some shade of wholesome. yeah, i’ve got some drawing as references to them on here.

let me move onto like my danganronpa oc, i’ve got this main one i’ve got fleash out but never done anything with. The Ultimate seamstress, she basically make all her own clothes and such. her name is Naomi Maki. And basically she started making clothes basically out of a sort of jealousy, cause she has i’m not sure if it was a twin sister or an younger sister that kept having growth spurts causing their parents to spend more money and attention on her sister than her. So in a childish, but also sad, way thought that hey, if i make some new clothes for her out of her old clothes, than our parents don’t have to buy her new clothes and they can start paying attention to me again. it was of course terrible, but her sister was basically enamored with her so she loved it. and that basically what set her down the path of being the ultimate seamstress. of course her talent isn’t limited to just sewing clothe together, she can knit, crochet, and do embroidery. She usually wears a sweatshirt dress. but underneath it is a tank top and short. She wears glasses as well.

and now my homestuck ones. all fantrolls. And i’ve basically got all the ones i’ve got fleashed out a bit, enough to even talk about, in a fansession i’m currently writing, so you can find out mroe about all of them by reading that. and i’ve also talked about them quite a bit already on here so i can go in a bit less detail about them all.so first is talbot, he is my tired son with a poor concept of self care due to her horendious sleeping habbits he’s an olive knight of void and has a crow lususi have caecam, she is my more free daughter, a teal witch of rage, with a bat lusus. she’s blind, but gets by with text to speach and echolocation. she’s really hard to descrine cause i actually don’t know what she’s about really either, she’s just really fleashed out and i get in this mind space for her.i’ve got algaea, my jade maid of blood. she’s somehow a functional disaster of a gay. she does martial arts cause she originated from a dnd 5e homestuck homebrew., so i just kept that in as a part of her whole character. she has also picked up several different hobbies and such cause she has overheard cute girls how pretty they think girls who do those sort of thing are.also somehow i’ve ended up shipping all three of them together paleways, in a threeways moirialship.

now i’ve also got athoos and paagal two halves of the same troll, but really, they’re not just halves, they’re two full trolls that just happen to inhabit the same body and used to be the same troll, but shhh… i haven’t really revieled that in the fansession yet, i’m getting to that. ones a bronze female heir of heart and the other is a nb page of mind.

i have ocyete whom i created recently for my fansession, is a nb purple seer of time, otaku whom just enjoys liing life slowly. and just always have a good idea of what is going on and what will happened.avsati, indigo prince of space who is all about the details of stuff. and can get a bit too wrapped up in it all. and yeah he can be a bit much, he he usually means wellfinally althaf, a curelean rouge of life that loves excerising and such. and while is he is a bit of a hot head and such. he never stays angry or mad long when he loese his temper, and always sincerely appologizes for his rude behavior

and that’s really all of my big major ocs that i can think of right now. and i spent like an hour on this wow

[wannawrite]

not my type

who?: Wanna One’s Ong Seongwoo genre: 🌸 type: bullet point

blog navigator.

University! AU 

you don’t date younger guys

but you just might ;)

thanks for requesting! this was quite difficult to write since I am a child still lol. Do note that Seongwoo is 20 in this work of fiction. ⁃ admin l

disclaimer: pictures used do not belong to me and credit goes to their original owners everything that is written here is purely fictional DO NOT READ IF TRIGGERING

~

so,,,your love life 

not that exciting 

in fact, it is facing a drought at the moment 

reality is harsh huh? 

or maybe it is because of your high standards 

1. No younger guys 

2. Must be a nice person 

3. Someone I could foresee marrying 

but none of your blind dates left you impressed

and then there’s this kid from the music block called Ong Seongwoo 

he’s just one of the guys trying to worm his way into your ‘possible boyfriend’ list 

scarily enough, his tactics were working

~

we gon throw this waayyy back when y’all met 

frat parties were never your thing

in fact, f*ck linda and this stupid party, I just want to go home and sleep 

you love your roommate and all but you couldn’t help but curse her out 

after all, she had dragged you to this party thrown by one of the music department frat guys 

and left you stranded 

in a hallway with at least 3 couples passionately making out 

tonight was not your night at all 

you hated the loud, shitty music and the smell of sweat and liquor 

appalling 

but linda was your ride here and there was a slim chance of hailing a cab right now 

you had no choice but to suck it up and rough it out 

Another issue

you needed to finish that essay on sustainable fashion before the 6am deadline 

shit 

gr8 job prof 

all-nighter? 

borrow a laptop from someone and do it now? 

what the hell 

which person would bring a laptop to a frat party? 

unless you can break into one of their rooms and take one??1?1?11

you almost slap yourself at the idea

dumb worried bitch energy 

sis is out of ideas and just wants to graduate be a little empathetic, folks 

you want to sit down on the floor and sink into a puddle of goo 

oh no 

there’s no way you are going to maintain this 3.9 GPA lmaoo

you move to wrestle Linda away from one of the frat guys 

but hollers and cheers stop you

a group of guys block your path as they welcome yet another friend 

but get this! the newcomer has a laptop case in his hands!! 

he appears to have just come from a lecture or meeting 

bUT HE HAS A LAPTOP YAYAYAYAYA

now, all you had to do was to stalk him, suck up to him and steal borrow the device 

sucking up to one of these frat boys was easy 

their brains had been bruised with bud lights so they weren’t the brightest of the bunch 

before you know it, he’s whisked away by his friends and dissolved into the crowd 

crap 

you really, genuinely, wholly, need this laptop 

They would help a fellow college student in need, right?

left with no choice, you elbow your way through  

I suppose your efforts pay off 

bc you catch him as he’s headed upstairs 

barely 

“hey!” you yell over the noise. “I-I...” 

the mystery guy only stares, quizzically 

suddenly, you’ve lost all ability to form coherent sentences 

this is embarrassing!

hE JUST LOOKING 

sis gotta calm down 

remember the real reason: laptop

“c-can i borrow your laptop real quick? I have a d-deadline tonight” 

mystery boy says nothing 

...

“What’s it in for me? If i lend you my laptop?”

he tries to remain serious but the corners of his mouth are tugging up

sneaky

desperation is pretty much flooding your body 

you wld say f*ck it but you can’t 

“I’ll owe you a favour!” you blurt out thoughtlessly. 

*crickets chirping* 

hope is slowly beginning to fade and your brain is coming up with extension excuses 

just crumbs,,,anything

Orbits gg thru with the drought

when he goes 

“okay”

JESUS THANK YOU 

he beckons for you to follow him 

oh?😏😉

“I know a better work environment than here.” 

oh. 

“What’s your name? I’m y/n, it’s my third year.” 

“Woah, third year? my name’s ong seongwoo. I just got here.” 

huh, freshman 

seongwoo doesn’t say much after

he leads you to a common study area in the enormous fraternity house 

you turn away as he sets up the laptop and everything bc privacy!!!

but the number of brain cells you have left won’t allow you to remember his login details anyway 

“thanks,” you murmur bashfully 

well, this is an expected and rather awkward situation 

seongwoo plants himself in the chair a few seats away from yours 

he pulls out study materials from his backpack 

??? hello? sis, u shld be enjoying the party downstairs ???

you try to shift your fullest attention on your project 

but!! his presence alone is so loud prominent, it’s giving you a hard time keeping your eyes off😔🤧

anyway u manage to suck it up and finish paper and submit it just in time! 

a miracle 

maybe he is your angel ;)

you turn to face him and,,,seongwoo has fallen asleep!! on his books!! 

his hair is slightly tousled and his glasses rest askew on his face 

papers flap in his face but he’s too gone to care 

the poor child is tired 

💓💖💕soft hours💕💖💓: open

gently, you tap his shoulder 

“seongwoo? hey, um, your laptop,” 

he only stirs the 2nd time you call him

Cute

groggily, he covers his face and speaks into his hands 

he mumbles something about ‘dealing with it later’

you figure it would be best if you left him alone to nap 

suddenly, seongwoo grabs your arm 

at least, he reaches for it

“I need your number to claim that favour.” 

my number ????

for half a second, your heart does pitter patters 

he’s only being objective though...

and it was you who suggested it in the first place 

sighing, you punch your number into his phone 

“okay, but use it wisely and...try not to...call or text so much...”

that sounds rlly mean >:( 

“yeah i’ll keep that in mind.” 

there’s an underlying layer of...cheekiness? in seongwoo’s tone 

your brain jumps to the first conclusion it can think of 

“I don’t date younger guys, Seongwoo,” 

rEGRET FILLS YOUR ENTIRE BEING IMMEDIATELY AFTER 

now, Seongwoo looks up and beams broadly 

“Bold of you to assume I’m interested,” he taunts playfully 

red sinks into your face and you defend yourself in splutters 

“I’m not interested in general! I’m prioritising my studies and everything else! It was just to make sure you know where we stand-“ 

futile, really 

“relax,” he replies. “Just saying, I could change your mind.” 

Cocky 

but true lol

an amused scoff leave your lips and your arms go akimbo

“I’d like to see you try, freshman.” 

~

*back to the present* 

You: really, Seongwoo. I don’t see why you can’t drop by the printing station yourself 

Seongwoo: you are seated RIGHT NEXT to it. Just fold the papers into aeroplanes and fly them over 

You: a 15-page research paper ?? That clearly says ‘do not bend’ 

Seongwoo: ignore it. Throw it over 

you never predicted this was where life would take you 

here you were, sat in the library, the table by the printing room 

and Seongwoo was seated a few tables away, texting you to collect his freshly printed document

just because 

You: Oh my god shut up you’ll get points deducted if your paper is the least bit crumpled 

You: i’ll just bring it over 

so,,,you did 

you brought seongwoo’s papers over to his table 

he had been watching from afar, lips pulled into a dumb smile

“thank you, senior.” 

boy had the audacity to say that in front of your salad 

just to tease him, you reply: 

“yeah, senior, just how I like my future boyfriend.” 

with that remark, the smile slips off seongwoo’s face and his jaw clenches

but he tries to play it off all cool😎🤧

you shoot the sweetest smile you can muster before skipping back to your table 

*beep beep*

I nearly put vibrate -

Seongwoo: that doesn’t count as using my favour card! 

your head shakes, but your mouth smiles 

it was no secret that seongwoo had a small! crush on you 

even if it was, everyone knew 

his whole frat and most of his seniors 

your friends and roommates 

the whole bloody campus 

this relationship started out with seongwoo following you on ig

then occasionally dropping a text and wishing you well 

he also hyped up all your pics 

and said hi whenever you bumped into each other 

it escalated to meeting up for brunch or a movie 

just...as friends, casually 

but you enjoyed his company and goofing around much more than some blind dates 

now, texting him was a regular 

going out was common 

and you haven’t even counted the number of times you guys met at social events 

sometimes, he made you feel so✨ special, precious, wanted by doing the smallest things 

like a tea on your table 

or going the extra mile to cheer you up 

most of the time at the expense of his handsome face 

he was always,,,there

you did find out about his feelings, though he never addressed them fully

it was fun!! to press his buttons as a friend 

“yeah idk abt dating someone younger. Wbu?” 

“Hmm. Senior year makes everyone 10x hotter.” 

thOSE WERE JOKES 

BANTER, PEOPLE, BANTER 

but...you weren’t certain if that would turn into something more 

you know, you hadn’t given dating someone younger a thought 

it never crossed your mind 

maybe it was a subconscious deal breaker 

you were always quick to bring age into making deals 

old broken deals could be made new 

the concept was incredibly foreign 

my boyfriend? younger? 

Personally, you could never see that happen 

b-but seongwoo made you sO DAMN HAPPY ALL THE TIME 

there was sunshine in his smiles

and starlight in his eyes 

ᵕ꒳ᵕ

uGh fEELINGS 

but is this attraction? 

Eventually, after many sleepless nights, up thinking about this, you made up your mind

If he made a move first, 

bc ur scared 

you would be hella open to dating him 

f*ck that ‘older people only’ rule 

(⁄˘⁄ ⁄ ω⁄ ⁄ ˘⁄)♡

[3.06am] seongwoo leaves a voicemail. He says, “hey, will you go on a date with me? I like you.”

[3.14am] seongwoo leaves another voicemail. “I’ll use my favour card if I have to. Just give me a chance.” 

anD HOLY F*CK YOU DON’T knOW HOW TO ACT AFTER HEARING THOSE 

RIGHT WHEN YOU WAKE UP 

yOur heaRT IS FLUTTERING AND YOU CAN FEEL THE BLUSH COMING 

UGH SWEETHEART YOU GOT IT BAD 

so u jump on this bandwagon and call him asap 

it goes straight to voicemail but you don’t leave one 

hehe

you know,,,to build suspense 

all day long, that’s all you can think about 

SeoNGWOO LIKES ME?

~

[8.17am] seongwoo wakes up to a silent voicemail from you 

he doesn’t know what to think of it 

he dials your number with shaking hands and before you can utter a word, he rushes, “meet me at xxx cafe at 11am” 

then hangs up 

Tumblr: 101 cafe date outfit ideas

Seongwoo arrives early and orders a drink while waiting 

he also picks out a window booth to sit at 

his nerves could eat him alive if they teamed up 

what would you say to him? 

how badly did you react to his 3am confession 

getting mildly intoxicated on Daniel’s stash was a horrible idea

he spilt all his secret uwus

the bell chimes 

and all his attention is focused on you 

your eyes land on him 

a smile graces your face as you walk over 

“I like you too.” 

“Damn, you better not be messing with me right now,” seongwoo nervously chuckles. “I know I sent you th-“ 

“Oh my god! I like you!” 

For a moment, his smart mouth runs dry, surprised 

“Oh wow, what happened to your older guys only rule?”

You smack his chest in mock annoyance

“Rules are made to be broken! Let’s not talk about that.” You turn various shades of red 

Grinning like the Chesire cat, Seongwoo teases, “And that’s the beauty of it.” 

[assholemurphy]

holy fuck, god is real (well, i mean, obvs, but he’s been coming thru for me 90% of the time lately and today is one of those times).

so, not only was i able to go to class and get an idea for what i need to do for my full group project (that i have to finish myself, which is what we’re supposed to do), but i was completely apathetic and not even remotely anxious at all, even on two and a half hours of sleep (tho, i did get an hour nap before our company meeting), but i just checked canvas and holy fuck. my paper, that i thought i was going to have to write tonight in like, 2 hours (bc it’s due at midnight) even tho i haven’t slept and haven’t read enough analysis(es?) of the script (hedda gabler, which i read one act of an promptly decided that, nah, i learned the same shit from reading a summary, so it wasn’t worth it to read that much bullshit), and am too tired to even comprehend my own words, let alone a fucking play, is not actually due tonight. it’s due next monday. i can do it over fall break. that means i can fuck around for a little while tonight (even tho i’ve got a p big project, that’s already late, well, half of it is, the other half is due wed) and then get a decent amount of rest for once. i’m just- i got a zero on a big portion of my giant sa project and i missed my intro class today (bc i wanted and extra hour and a half of sleep) but everything else has gone great. absolutely grand, cats. i’ve got an extra week for the paper and i’m gonna get a full 8 hours tonight. i’m so fucking happy.

so, i’m beginning to think things are looking up for me. the tides, they are a turning, and these waters are getting less choppy. if things stay like this for a couple weeks, i should be able to fully get my shit together and start being on top of things. i think it’s gonna be okay, tho, i rly do. i’m gonna use fall break to write a kick ass paper (bc essays are my shit, i’m amazing at them, when i’m not dead tired and trying to write 5 pages in 2 hours, which i can do, but well, it wouldn’t be my best work at all, and i try to have some pride in my writing), get ahead on my acting I monologues, and get my entire life organized via planners, alarms, sticky notes, to do lists, and a binder. i’m gonna get my shit together (i keep repeating this bc every time i say it, i feel more confident that i can) and the rest of the semester isn’t going to be a constant struggle. i’m gonna be on top of shit. i’m going to show the theatre dept that i’m capable of kicking ass and that i’m deserving of respect. i’m going to get everything worked out and sorted and i’m gonna slowly work on my trauma and trusting ppl and being a nice person. i’m never gonna be normal, but i can be functional. i can be stable.

so, i think i’m gonna fuck around on tumblr for a while, maybe, possibly watch the rest of dp2, and then go tf to sleep, wake up rested, and maybe even do my makeup tomorrow. bc rafiki said i look good in earth tones, so i bought earth tones, and i’d like to try them out. like, he’s v honest, so i trust his opinion. he’s not just saying it to placate me. and i do want to be pretty. i want to look nice. and apparently wearing bright ass lipsticks that make me look like i’ve been dining on a box of crayolas scares ppl a bit. i’m a bit tired of scaring ppl, tbh. i just want to look nice and be able to be confident in myself without hiding behind outrageous makeup and clothes. and, if i’m lucky, i might not have to exist on caffeine and semi-legal drugs tomorrow. my friends are busy tonight, so they won’t be over, but i can get some sleep, so i’m okay with it. besides, i always feel like i bother them too much. like, i invite one or both of them over literally every night. literally. i think in the past three weeks i’ve had maybe 4 days where i didn’t spend time with at least one of the victory bros. i mean, if i was bothering them, they’d probs just not come over, but i always worry that i’m too needy and they just come bc they think i’m fragile or some shit and wouldn’t be able to handle being told ‘no.’ i need to talk to them abt it and have them be honest with me (tho, they generally are honest, even when i wish they wouldn’t be) so ik for sure. i’m scared the answer will be ‘yeah, stop bothering us daily, it’s annoying’ but if it it, it is and i’ll deal with it. 

anyway, i’m gonna fuck around, maybe update my planner a bit for the week while i watch dp2, but then i’m going tf to bed. i’ve recently discovered something. if i sleep in my hoodie, then i feel safer, warmer, and more comfortable and therefore feel more rested when i wake up. so, guess who’s sleeping in a hoodie from now on? this bitch. it worked last winter, it seems to be working now, and i’m just gonna keep doing it until it stops working. tho, i do need to wash the hoodie. i could do that tonight, but that’ll take a couple of hours, so i might just wait until tomorrow, since i’ll have hw and therefore will be awake, anyway. if i have enough quarters. i might have to get goldilocks to take me to the laundromat, since they have a change machine and the washers are better than the ones at the apartments, and cheaper. idk, yet.

but, i’mma stop rambling now, i think. i highly doubt any of you cats actually read these long ass bullshit posts, but they make me feel better to write up, so i’mma continue with them. it makes my head quieter to get the words out.

oh! i plan to get the next chap of tal written (or, at least partially written, tho i’m shooting to finish it) during the break, too, so if i’m lucky and don’t just sleep for 4 days straight, it might actually get posted before next mon. fingers crossed.

[folkloreguk]

Pick Me Up (optional bias smut)

(yes I did use ioi’s song as a title for my smut pls don’t fight me) 

warnings: smut, horrible pick-up lines

pairing: reader (fem) x optional bias (male)

A/N: I thought about Ilhoon from BTOB when I wrote this but you can literally imagine anyone! I didn’t proof read this bc it’s late and I wanted to post it, but I’ll do that tomorrow. I hope you won’t find mistakes and even if you do, enjoy reading!! x

(H/N means “his name”)

[I wish I could tag my masterlist here, but if I do this post won’t show up for you guys anymore, but I havea link in my description!]

You were convinced. He was the most annoying fuckboy you had ever met. There were at least 10 other girls in your class, that were just as good looking as you. But for some reason he had chosen you. You didn’t understand why, but ever since he had first seen you, he hadn’t stopped trying to get with you. The amount of times he had asked you for your number was out of control. Not that you were going to give it to him any time soon.

You had to admit, he was smooth. He never seemed to run out of energy when it came to making up pick-up lines and asking you about your previous boyfriend. You had broken up with him after he had cheated on you. It turned out he had only been in it for the sex, and it prompted you to have lost all trust in boys. Otherwise, mr. fuckboy was the annoying but smart kid in class, who every teacher wanted to hate. They simply couldn’t, though, because no matter how many silly remarks he made, he always made up for them with just as many clever ones. He did manage to make you laugh too, at times when you weren’t busy being annoyed at him. All he seemed to think about was sex. And you.

The worst part about hating his acting though, was, by far, his handsomeness. Of course you would never admit it in his presence, but you didn’t exactly think he was ugly. But being attractive wasn’t all it took to make you open up to him. A boy. Boys, of whom you knew you shouldn’t trust them ever again. Sometimes you felt yourself doubting your devotion when you stared at him. When he grinned slyly after having made a smooth remark towards you before he turned around in his seat, facing the teacher who had probably warned him about interrupting the lesson already. But you were strong-willed.

“Shut up,” you muttered at him under your breath, glancing at the clock in the corner of the class room. 5 minutes to go. You can do this. He grinned, not fazed by your comment. He had just showed you an actual screw he had brought from home. “Wanna screw?” had his exact words been. You had never been this done with anyone. Lucky for him, your teacher had no interest in warning his students for interrupting. Especially because no one was listening anymore when there were only 4 minutes of the lesson left.

“I admit, not my best one. Here’s another one,” he said. Oh boy, here we go again. “If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?”

You wished in that exact moment you could slap his smirk off his face. Why did he have to sit in front of you? 3 minutes left.

“Your chances are smaller than zero, how many times do I have to tell you?” you muttered.

“Actually, my chances would be 50%. But I guess you- Ow!” he let out, as you had smacked his arm playfully. “You know you’ll say yes one day.”

“In your dreams,” you laughed ironically. “Can’t you just behave like any other normal student for a minute?”

And so he did. For the last minute, he turned around and shut up. You were almost impressed. Now and then you caught him taking a glimpse at the clock on the wall, eager to leave just like anyone else in the room. At the same time, you caught yourself staring at him. Black skinny jeans, deep blue sweater, some sneakers. Nothing out of the ordinary. His hair looked a little messy from where he ran his hand through it earlier (Not that you had noticed that, too). Then, the bell rang. Finally. Voices bubbled up and chairs scratched over the floor. You packed your bag just as he stood up, placing his own bag on his table. Rummaging through it, he pulled his phone out, checking the screen. A second later, his face darkened in concern.

“Crap. There’s something wrong with my phone,” he cursed. You were 900% ready to get out of this classroom, but being the good person you were, you worried at his genuinely stressed expression. When he was being normal for a minute, you couldn’t help but be polite.

“What is it?” you asked. He looked at you for a moment, then sighed.

“Your number isn’t in it,” he said, sounding completely serious. Was he for real?

“And that’s the way it should be,” you caught yourself. “I need my break from you when I’m at home.”

And with that, you left him standing. If you just had his determination and used it for school work, you’d have heavenly grades. You dragged your body home, feeling unusually tired. You didn’t have a big appetite, which was unusual, and couldn’t focus on anything.

The next day you were sick. You were sure it was nothing serious, but decided to stay at home either way. At least in your bed you would be left alone. No pick-up lines for a day seemed like a week of holidays to you. It was a Thursday filled with coughing, sipping hot tea and watching your favorite TV show. You felt better in the evening, but not exactly healthy.

The next day you walked into the kitchen. It was morning and you were ready to leave for school again. The second your mother heard the ugly cough leave your throat, though, she sent you straight back to bed. Fine, you thought. Even though you didn’t feel sick anymore, another day in bed surely wouldn’t hurt. It was Friday anyway, allowing you to be excited about the weekend already.

Around noon you decided to check your phone for messages from your friends. You were sure you had missed homework and other school stuff you didn’t exactly feel like dealing with. To your surprise, none of your friends had messaged you about homework. Instead, you found a text from an unknown number.

unknown number: hey

                                                you: who is this?? 

unknown number: if you were a Pokemon, I’d choose you

                                               you: how the hell did u get my number??????? 

unknown number: we got paired up for a project

                                               you: what u talking abt??? 

unknown number: mr. smiths made us a pair for the history projects so ur friend had to give me ur number. its due to monday

                                               you: what the hell???? 

unknown number: I didn’t come up with the dead line

unknown number: btw what’s with all the question marks

                                              you: it’s called confusion

                                              you: so when do we meet up? 

unknown number: tomorrow? my place

You knew your parents wouldn’t be at home all day, and praying that his would be, you said yes. So there was still a small chance you wouldn’t have to spend an entire afternoon in a house alone with him.

On Saturday afternoon you had thrown on a random sweater with some pants, your sneakers and left your house. When you pulled up in his driveway you instantly noticed the lack of cars. He’s not getting into my pants, you told yourself. Why did you even have to remind yourself? For some reason, you felt nervous.

He ripped the door open around two seconds after you had rang the bell. In surprise, you flinched. The way he leaned against the door frame and grinned smugly made you frustrated. And you hadn’t even entered the house.

“Come in,” he made a dramatic gesture behind him, waving you inside. It almost made you laugh. Almost.

“Okay, first of all, rules.” You entered the house and looked around.

“Rules? What is this? BDSM?” he asked. You rolled your eyes. He nodded his head towards the stairs and you followed him.

“Focus,” you said, making him chuckle even more. “No pick-up lines. We need to get stuff done if this needs to be finished by Monday. I really need a good grade on this. Smiths already hates me for no reason.”

“Do I really distract you that badly?” he asked, smirking and turning around to you. His hair was messy, but in a good-looking way. His collar bones peeked out from under his shirt. You guessed he did distract you a little.

“See? That’s what I meant. Keep those comments in. At least until we’re back at school,” you said, entering his room after him. It looked cozy, and like he had just cleaned up. You hadn’t expected him to be messy, but not this clean either.

“Oh, I’m sorry. That’s literally my character, if you haven’t noticed yet, sweetheart,” he said, sitting down at his table, smirking again.

“Sweetheart?” you asked in disbelief. You realized that he wouldn’t stop with his comments until you did. And because fighting wouldn’t get you anywhere, you decided to shut up and start working. Your topic was the most boring subject you had ever heard about, making it even more bothersome to research it. It had been at least three hours. He had kept quite calm throughout it all, but you still seemed to struggle to make progress. You had taken your space on the floor, leaning against his bed. Around you, pens and papers were sprawled across the floor while you bit your lip trying to figure out a structure for your presentation.

“I need a break,” he murmured quietly from his desk. You only hummed, your thoughts focused on the presentation. Your hand ran through your hair, sighing in stress. He cleared his throat, making you jump.

“Looks like you could need a break too,” he laughed. “I’m gonna get a glass of water. Do you want one as well?”

Still in concentration, you snapped out of your trance slowly. You got up while nodding, deciding he was right, for once.

You watched the back of his head as he walked. The work had made you sleepy and dizzy, a little as if you were drunk. Crazy thoughts flooded your brain all of a sudden. Your fingertips tickled at the thought of running your hands through his hair, down the nape of his neck. You had always loved his neck, you just never had admitted it. Shaking your head, you asked yourself what had suddenly gotten into you. All you hoped for was for the water to wake you up and let you focus again. You entered the kitchen.

You thanked him when he handed you a glass of cold water. After you had downed it, you still didn’t think clearer.

“I don’t think we’ll get to finish this today. My mom wants me to be home by eight for dinner,” you admitted. It was already half eight. “What are you doing tomorrow?”

For a moment he blinked at you, then he grinned. You already knew what that expression meant.

“I mean…hopefully you…,” he mumbled. When you playfully lifted your hand as if to smack him, he held up both hands in surrender and giggled. “Okay! I don’t have plans, alright?”

“That’s literally all you had to say,” you let out, shaking your head at him.

“Y/N. Be honest for once. You like my pick-up lines,” he urged you. You laughed ironically. “Deep down, you do.”

“You drive me insane,” you said.

“That wasn’t a no!” he yelled in success, putting down his glass. “Come on. What’s so bad about me? What wrong have I ever done to you?”

You were taken aback by his sudden question. What wrong had he done to you? He had never been rude, only his goofy, sex-obsessed self. You glanced at his face. His eyes were waiting for an answer, hands crossed above his chest.

“I’m just not very fond of boys after my ex cheated-” you began.

“Seriously? You compare me to your ex-boyfriend?” he asked, genuinely offended. It was true, he was nothing like your ex. Much funnier, to begin with.

“I’m not comparing you! I guess I just don’t want to get involved with a guy any time soon,” you admitted.

“It’s not like I want to get married to you!” he argued.

“Wow, thanks,” you laughed at his defensiveness. “What do you want, then?”

He tilted his head at your question as if saying “Are you serious?”. Suddenly, he took a step towards you, startling you. Your body backed up against the counter, hands gripping the hard material as he studied your face.

“You know exactly what I want,” he breathed out. His face was so close to yours, you could feel the air from his lungs on your skin. It made your heart beat restlessly. His hand went under your chin, as if telling you. It was you, he wanted. You waited for his lips, but they never touched yours. He was waiting for your reaction. You realized he wasn’t going to kiss you without your consent. The boy wasn’t just determined, he also had one hell lot of self-control. Unlike you.

You closed the space between the two of you, lips colliding. Kissing him felt like triggering an avalanche of built-up frustration and emotions that had only been waiting to break free. His hands grabbed your sides roughly. He finally had what he wanted. In agreement, he let out a low sound when you pushed your body against his, chests touching. His tongue swiped over your lip, and you opened your mouth instantly. He tasted of bubble gum and smelled of cologne. His hands were even more eager than his mind, exploring your hips and waist, tugging at your clothes impatiently. You felt as if a ton-heavy weight was slowly lifting off you as you relaxed against his controlling touch and dominant kisses. He was right. Sex wouldn’t hurt your feelings. Not like your ex-boyfriend had. But your thoughts of him washed away in a blink when the boy in front of you pulled away and turned his attention to your neck. Your breath was shaky when he kissed you roughly, his teeth scraping against your skin. For a moment you let your head hang back, closing your eyes. His lips were soft but so passionate at the same time.

When your eyes opened, they fell onto the clock above the fridge. It was five to eight. Your eyes widened in shock.

“Wait, hold on,” you mumbled, softly tugging at his shirt. The look he gave you resembled a puppy whose food had been taken away. “I gotta get home, or else my mom kills me. She wants to have a family dinner. I’m sorry.”

He pouted, but nodded hesitantly. You wished you could’ve just been that rebel that ignored their parents for once. But that’s not who you were.

“But you’ll come over again tomorrow, right?” he asked, hope in his look as he showed you the way to the door.

“Yeah. To finish the project,” you emphasized.

“Sure,” he grinned, rolling his eyes. For the first time, you couldn’t blame him for thinking about sex now.

“I mean it! We’re not even halfway through, especially the presentation is not even close to finishing. We still need to write the entire text and draw the map. It’ll never work out,” you suddenly started to worry. Tomorrow was your last day and you had to spend it working with a boy that was sexually frustrated because of you. Which you, by the way, were as well.

“I’ll work on it tonight, maybe I get to finish it,” he said, completely calm.

“If you finish the project tonight I’m the princess of China,” you joked.

“And you’d let me have what I want?” he asked, unfazed. Let him have what he wanted. You laughed at him. There was no way he could finish the project by himself, in that short time. But a boy can dream.

“Yeah, sure,” you said, already out the door. “Bye. See you tomorrow.”

The next day at 3 you left your house, your bag full of pens, books and paper. You remembered the way to his house perfectly, and pulled up in front of it 10 minutes later. You chewed on your lip nervously whilst waiting for the door to swing open. You had thought the feeling would’ve gone away by now. But no way. The second you laid eyes on him when he opened up, you wanted him even more than yesterday. His hair looked freshly done but you wished you could mess it up. His lips were parted slightly as his gaze ran over your figure. You hadn’t worn anything special, just casual clothes. Yet he eyed you as if he never wanted to look at anyone else. When his look met yours, you looked away shyly.

“Come on in,” he said, completely relaxed. Without words you followed him to his room. The half which had the bed looked practically untouched. The other half, however, was a tornado-like chaos. Various pens sprawled across all surfaces and paper with messy notes covered every surface.

“Told you,” he grinned proudly. You lifted your eyebrows when he carefully stepped over the paper maze and grabbed a stack of them. Proudly, he handed it to you. You couldn’t believe your eyes. While he watched you, your eyes scanned the text quickly, making sure it made sense. You had known he was smart, but not this smart. Suddenly you wished you could do all of your projects with him.

“You did this by yourself? Last night?” you asked, still surprised. He chuckled.

“Indeed. It took me until three in the morning, but it’s done now,” he said. “Not a big deal.”

“Why didn’t you work that hard yesterday when I was over?” you asked.

“Honestly? I wanted you to stay over longer,” he admitted. His determination was definitely out of control.

“And now you asked me to meet again. If you were finished anyway you didn’t need me to come over,” you noticed. Then you remembered his words from last evening. He wanted his reward. You caught him licking his lips and your stomach flipped. Quickly, you looked over the text in your hands again.

“Is this how badly you want to get into my pants?” you joked, gesturing to the paper.

„Actually I think I just discovered my love for the history of the Medieval and Modern Africa,“ he explained matter-of-factly. You laughed out, and at the sound his eyes crinkled up too.

“Oh, of course, I’m sure of it,” you played along. “You know I could still say no now, and you’d have to accept it, right?”

He thought for a second.

„Sure, you could and I would. That sounds a lot like you’re saying yes, though,” he commented, smirking his famous, way too confident smile. He had never been more right and you knew it.

“Look. This one time, I’ll let you get away with it. But for the record, you can’t buy me with work. I’m only agreeing because I wa-” you started, holding up your finger. Suddenly, he walked over to you, grabbed your sides and attacked your mouth with his. You let out a surprised sound and stumbled backwards. You didn’t fall, though, because his grip on you was tight and after three chaotic steps your back hit the wall. There was no way for you to leave now, (not that you wanted to anyway) as his hands lay flat against the wall on your sides and he kissed you like his life depended on it.

He wasn’t doing anything particularly dominant, but the way he had you caged between the wall and his body and controlled the way you kissed him made your knees feel weak. Your previous boyfriend had made you feel good, but in a very sweet way. The boy that was all over you right now, however, seemed to not have the word vanilla in his vocabulary. You had no problem with him being rough. When you thought about it you let out a low whimper, to which he responded with a low growl.

“I’ve waited for so long, I thought I was gonna go insane,” he breathed against your lips as your chest heaved at the intensity of his kisses. You didn’t know how to speak anymore. Instead, you grabbed his neck and pulled him against you again. The way his tongue moved over yours made you wonder what else it could do to you. Involuntarily, your legs pressed together.

His hands were pulling your hair softly before moving downwards. Almost innocently they wandered over your chest, but you instantly arched your back, wanting more. They continued over your sides, holding you firmly by your hips. Then, they began lifting your top eagerly. You didn’t hesitate. It landed on the floor and meanwhile, he took off his own. You eyes barely had any time to admire his toned upper body, before they closed when his lips attacked your neck fiercely. His hands grabbed your ass and you moaned slightly. The way his lips played with your senses made you feel like melting underneath his teasing touch. They were rough and biting, and a second later soft and soothing. Your head leaned against the wall as he skillfully opened your bra, letting you toss it to the side carelessly. You whimpered at the sudden contact when his lips closed around one of your nipples, his hand playing with the other. His teeth grazed over your skin repeatedly, surely leaving purple marks. At least no one would see them there.

When he pressed his body against yours, you felt the bulge in his pants had grown. That didn’t take long, you thought proudly. On the other hand, you weren’t surprised. He was basically begging you to let him fuck you on a daily basis. You laughed quietly. While he was playing with the waistband of your pants, almost dragging them down, he reacted.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, confused but amused. You blushed, helping him to get rid off your pants, his following afterward.

“I was just thinking about how happy you must be now,” you explained, teasing him.

“I’m in heaven,” he didn’t hesitate to say. You were busy laughing as he took your arm and lead you to his comfortable looking bed. Turns out it didn’t just look the way. First, you admired his soft sheets, but then your focus diverted to him. To his mouth, to be exact. He kissed down your chest teasingly, but you felt how eager he was to get to your lower region. His hands stroking over your hips so tenderly were a massive contrast to his mouth. He licked and bit your skin until he reached the material of your underwear.

“You’re sure about this, right?” he asked. You wondered about his sudden hesitation.

“Of course I am,” you assured him, begging him to continue with your look.

“And you’ve done this before, right?” he asked. You were taken aback.

“What made you think I haven’t?” you asked, getting really impatient by the second.

“I just thought…, maybe you didn’t react to my pick up lines and jokes because you had never-” he explained. You laughed out. He looked puzzled.

“The problem wasn’t that I hadn’t had sex before, which I have, by the way. Your pick-up lines are just really, really bad,” you joked, grinning at him. He was playfully outraged.

“Okay, wait, you’ll love this one. Why do-,” he began, but was cut off by your voice.

“I am laying on your bed, half-naked and you’re trying to impress me with a pick-up line? You can do better than that,” you scolded him, chuckling. The tension between your legs became more unbearable with every passing second of him not touching you, and you couldn’t handle it.

“You’re right. I’ll show you how to be truly impressed, don’t worry,” he was back to being his cocky self. You were almost glad, because finally he pulled down your underwear. You lifted yourself up on your forearms, watching him as he breathed hot air against your wet center. Gently, his arms wrapped around your bent legs, laying on your lower stomach.

“Please, hurry,” you begged. He smirked, and you almost regretted saying it. Then you sucked in a breath when he licked a stripe over your folds, teasing you endlessly. He chuckled lowly when you let out a mix between a whimper and a groan, only leaving you more eager. His tongue was way too gentle on you. Forcingly, he pushed your legs apart further, giving him better access. When his tongue went over your clit, he suddenly stopped the game. While his finger nails dug into your stomach’s skin, he sucked on your clit, first hard, then softly and so on. He hadn’t been lying. Your throat left a breathy moan when he continued with licking, this time stronger than at first. As time went on, his muscle became faster and you felt yourself become weaker. You had to admit, he looked extra good laying between your thighs. You smiled in bliss, forgetting everything else around you.

“You’re so damn good at this,” you said, but the last part ended in a whimper when he payed extra attention to your sweet spot, making you see stars for a second.

“Told you,” he mumbled, barely pulling away. The vibrations his voice sent through you made you grip the bedsheets tightly. “If you would’ve only realized it sooner.”

He smirked up at you, not stopping his actions. Your stomach twisted in pleasure and anticipation. At this point, holding yourself up was no point anymore. You let your upper body fall backwards, the soft sheets catching you as you closed your eyes. You felt like you wanted to get even closer, although his face was basically buried between your legs. You squirmed under his grip when you felt yourself near your release.

“Stay still for me,” he ordered. There was only a little dominance in his voice, yet it made you want to behave. Even though you knew you couldn’t.

“But I’m so close,” you whimpered. He only took your words as a motivation. Faintly, you wondered how he had gotten so good with his mouth. His hands made you shiver even though they were gripping your body with roughness, keeping you in place. As you felt yourself get closer and closer to your release, your hands went to his hair. He slowed down for a second, but then he realized you didn’t want him to stop. The short break seemed to have left you even more sensitive. When he began sucking your sweet spot again, you almost couldn’t take it. His tongue leaped at your clit quickly. All you could do was close your eyes and attempt to control your moans. Within seconds you were coming, squirming underneath his touch while pulling his hair. Your back arched off the mattress and you moaned his name, no one else on your mind. He slowed down his actions and you shook slightly when he licked your over-sensitive clit one last time before pulling away.

For a few seconds you caught your breath, feeling his arms loosening their grip and his hands stroking over your skin soothingly. You stared at the ceiling for a while as your chest heaved, eyes blinking slowly. For some reason, you didn’t have enough of him yet. When you looked down, he was already staring up at you, grinning proudly at your expression. He gave you no signs of being eager, even though you were pretty sure he was. He was simply admiring you. It made you feel slightly weird.

“Are you not gonna take your pants off?” you asked. He laughed at your comment, shaking his head out of his focused state. Then, he got up and did just that. His boner was prominent and looked almost painful. He made a move towards the bed, almost as if he was going to climb on top of you. Then, he stopped in his tracks.

“Wait-” you began. Use protection, kids.

“Condom, I know,” he said, digging through his dressing table. When he finally scrambled onto the bed, he seemed to have lost all patience. Your hands went around his neck while he pumped his shaft a few times, squinting his eyebrows at the built up tension.

“Ready?” he asked you. You nodded before he had even finished the word. He entered you slowly, but wasted no time in picking up pace. At first, you whimpered at how he filled you up and how sensitive you were. Then, you got lost in the way he bit his lip and how his jaw flexed under his skin. His moans sounded like music to your ears. He was holding himself up on his arms while your legs bent a little, making him slam into you at a perfect angle. You cried out when he almost pulled out fully, only to thrust back into you until his hips met yours, his skin hot against yours. Your hands were playing with his soft hair by the nape of his neck, while he lowered his head a little. He wasn’t kissing you, but your lips were touching slightly, your unsteady breaths becoming one. He repeated your name a few times, as if praising you. His arms flexed under his weight, his veins standing out.

His member brushed over your sweet spot over and over, making you clench around him. He grunted at the sensation, only leading you to do it again. You loved seeing the way he shut his eyes tightly, concentrating on the pleasure. His thrusts were quick, but seemed less controlled than in the beginning, meaning he must have been close. Curses left his mouth, while you moaned softly. His motion became even quicker as he buried his head in the crook of your neck, lips hovering over your skin. His name slipped past your lips when he messily kissed you there, not slowing down his thrusts. When you clenched your walls around him again, he was sent over the edge.

He groaned, his arms giving out and he fell onto his forearms, basically laying on top of you now. His skin was hot and his breaths uncontrolled, face still in your neck. When he looked up at you he looked thoroughly content. You grinned tiredly. He pulled out carefully, making you whimper. For a few seconds you stayed that way, catching your breaths. It was quiet in the room, and you felt energetic and at the same time completely exhausted. Of course he was the first to speak.

“Don’t you wanna hear my pick-up line from earlier?” he asked. You almost smacked him. Then, you laughed.

“Okay, tell me,” you said, leaving him surprised. He was going to tell you anyway.

“People call me H/N, but you can call me tomorrow.”

[lascivias]

Sex with Chanyeol

Chanyeol, just like Baekhyun, won’t have sex with just anyone

if he wants to have sex with someone, it’s either someone he’s in a relationship with or someone he really, really likes

he won’t have sex with anyone just so he can relieve himself

(bc he has his hand for that, and besides, having sex with anyone random can just get really complicated)

foreplay is something Chanyeol can go with or without honestly

one time he’ll play with you and tease you for hours

and sometimes he will just get at it with no foreplay

i feel like Chanyeol likes teasing you more than he likes you teasing him, so most of the time, he will be eating you out or fingering you as foreplay

bc he loves how much you enjoy his tongue and how his long fingers can easily make you cum

grab and pull his hair while he does it and he’ll let out the deepest moans

like I’ve already mentioned, he likes teasing you more than you teasing him, so Chanyeol is more of a dominant in bed

(even though he sometimes enjoys being the submissive one)

his main goal is ALWAYS to please you

if he hasn’t pleased you like he wanted to, or made you cum as many times as wants he is not gonna be satisfied

he loves pleasing you so much that there will be times when you two won’t even have sex, he’ll just eat you out or finger you and that’s it, without looking for anything in return

(imagine you just laying there in bed reading a book or something and he suddenly comes into the room and starts teasing you, things escalate and the next moment his head is between your legs, his hands holding you down in place, while his tongue does things you’ve never experienced before, and after he’s made you cum he leaves all smug about himself….i need to make this a one-shot)

btw, Chanyeol doesn’t just eat you out, he fucking devours you (jesus fucking christ I need a break from this, he needs to chill and stay in his fucking lane)

i’m gonna leave pussy eating Chanyeol behind now bc I think i could write like 10 headcanons just abt that dkskdkslls

 okay, next

sex with Chanyeol

that…oh lord, sex with him would either be rough as hell (in a good way ofc) or passionate as fuck

he will either have you shaking and begging for more as he mercilessly pounds into you or he will make the most beautiful and passionate love to you for hours

but even though he can be really rough, Chanyeol is still a soft bby so expect some rlly soft and cute sex with him too

kissing all over your body is something Chanyeol loves doing (and also leaving a couple of hickeys behind bc he likes marking you as his, but we are not gonna talk abt that okAY)

biting, scratching and that stuff…a plus for Chanyeol

biting you or you biting on his shoulders, and you leaving scratches on his back bc he likes to show them off okay

now, even though I said he likes pleasing you a lot, and your pleasure is extremely important to him, he will still very much appreciate if you just randomly decide to suck him off

if you two are just chilling, or watching a movie or something and you suddenly decide to give him head, it will give you extra points and you can look forward to even more pleasure the next time he gives you oral

your lips may possibly be his favorite thing about you

no but really, he is obsessed with them

thats why most of the time when you two talk he can’t keep his eyes focused on yours

(bite and lick your lips and he is for sure turned on)

so make out sessios with Chanyeol can be really intense bc of that

he enjoys your lips on his so much, be sure he’ll bite them while you make out, even suck on your bottom lip sometimes

he loves the feeling of your lips everywhere on his body, so make sure that you give him as much hickeys as he gives you

we haven’t talked about favorite positions yet

ok so since Chanyeol likes dominating you, he likes the position when you are laying on your chest, your ass up, and he is pounding you from behind

he also likes to switch positions a lot so if he starts doing you like that, he will probably stop and then turn you around on your back, place your legs over his shoulders and then continue to pound into you in the same pace

shower sex is a thing

kitchen counter sex is a thing

floor sex is a thing

neverywhere sex is a thing (but not outside the house lol)

the only public ‘sex’ you’ll have with Chanyeol is him fingering you under the dinner table at some restaurant

and maybe occasionally, when he can’t take it anymore, he’ll drag you back to your car and you’ll have sex in the backseat

yoooooooo, I forgot abt THIGH RIDING omfgg

holy shit, he loves it when you ride his thigh

basically, Chanyeol likes seeing you all needy for him, so thigh riding?? yes

lets talk abt sounds now

first I’d like to say, that I think Chanyeol doesn’t like hearing you scream for him, I feel like hearing a girl literally scream for pleasure turns him off

I think Chanyeol prefers more to make you whimper and beg for more and moan loudly for him

and as for the noises he makes…jfc

the groans and the deep ass moans that this boy makes

his deep voice..

imagine his DEEP ASS MOANS I REPEAT

and when he cums he lets out a loud groan

(i should stay in my lane and wrap this up)

even though Chanyeol can be rough as fuck, and pound into you so fast and hard, he is still a soft lil bub

he will probably fall asleep right after and he will fall asleep on you (I’m soft)

he will hug you in his sleep and in the morning you will wake up first

lol I think I wrote a lil bit more than the Baekhyun one and I told myself I’ll try to make them shorter

[survivorreelsmagicwithin]

Episode 3- “Y'all wanted magic within and we delivered- case closed”-Autumn

Another super fun challenge! I want to shout out to the hosts for just doing a great job so far. This is making this quarantine just a little less terrible. So happy we have immunity and getting our first reward is so exciting! I’ve been trying my best to connect with members outside of my tribe in the great hall chat and get close with my tribe mates. For the most part I really trust all of them. And that’s horribly scary. I really love being on hufflepuff. But I have a feeling a swap is gonna happen. Kevin told me he thinks it’s going to be 2 tribes of 8. We will see. GL to slytherin and ravenclaw! 

HOES MAD 

https://giphy.com/gifs/lifeminute-birthday-rihanna-3fihINg62RNynS9cbY 

I'm so dead and drained rn but I look forward to reading this round and seeing how heated people are over this. And this will definitely follow me the entire game but you know what I'm glad. Don't let the 16 month hiatus fool you: when I show up I show out. Everything is mind over matter in a way and y'all caught me on a good day so I was just like fuck it I'll do this all day if I have to. So I walked into that challenge at 11:30 am and deadass my phone never left my side... for 9 1/2 hours. Also y'all know I'm at my best when I'm an underdog? So of course I went all out, please tell me you didn't expect anything less. And can I just say Gryffindor legitimately and collectively earned that because everyone participated and put points up. So yes I am that girl but I do it for the squad because I know they'll do it for me. BIG ups though to Vi and Jess- I don't care what their alliances were before today they better have each other's backs and I'll riot if they don't both survive. Literally do the right thing and send a man home. And the same goes for Ravenclaw! I wanna know what's going on over there and I'm not picky but send a man or inactive home if you can. Let it be known that I literally came into this game to raise hell for Dan and Owen lmaaaaooo. I mean I don't want them to go (yet) because that's not what good frenemies do and where's the fun in that. We make each other's arcs better and if we're cast, there will be a fight to the death sooner or later. But until then! Yes I am absolutely living for them sweating it out for a full round. Can y'all believe it? They finally lost at something God is so good. Would've loved to make Hufflepuff sweat too but hey. There's always next round

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/UnsungOblongBlesbok-max-1mb.gif

14 minutes later

Also I just wanna say that 6:00 hour was chef's kiss. In my entire org career, I have never been on a tribe that pulled off a shutout like that and that was ICONIC. Hoes mad but did your entire tribe come together and get a streak of points nonstop for upwards of an hour?? No ma'am you did not. I kept us alive all day but that hour was THE hour that took Gryffindor from 4th to 2nd and that's how you win immunity. Y'all wanted magic within and we delivered- case closed

I don't trust Nick at all. I know in the back of his mind he's thinking i'm gonna play like our previous game which I wasn't exactly loyal to him because I was loyal to some bitch ass alliance that ended up... ANYWAYS. So he seems like the type of player to keep that into consideration because he happened recently and he's sort of a newer player. So I have to be mindful of this all and as much as i'm STRESSING the fact that obviously there were external factors in that game.. that won't impact this game kind of a deal. I know this all could just be my paranoid little brain and thinking that he's out to get me when he's not.. but I haven't played any back to back games in FOREVER and when something THAT FRESH happens.. it's hard for me to not have the after thought of: Wow Nick must think i'm an loyal person who won't tell him my real thoughts. 

 But Nick gonna be a scary player down the line. He's already in my pm's bragging about how him, Landen, and I think his name is Matt? idk one of the "Weebz" (still don't know what that means) and how he will have those potential relationships moving forward.. I just... don't.... understand..... him. ANYWAYS

 The thing is... I think? I can trust Jacob fully. I think this vote SHOULD BE EASY.. but I can't help but feel really fucking bad. Like terrible. Like extremely heart broken about voting out VI. She's put her all into everything and honestly I would be so mad if i've given my all and these two dweebz didn't even show up to the comp. I know she's gonna be upset and I hate knowing that. So i'm TRYING to take emotions out of this decision and make this all strategical and within the game environment because if I was voting with my HEART i'd keep her. BUT then I have that voice in the back of my head that is saying "But if you save Vi.... she'll be loyal to you!" BUT ALSO... I know from HOSTING VI... is that Vi is only loyal to... the fun she has. If she gets bored she fucks around. She's a crackhead. But I obviously can't VOICE THIS TO ANYONE because they could flip this and reverse this on ME. 

I'm scared that if I cast any form of doubt about the vote to Jacob he will relay the message to Nick and well I become more threatening than Vi at this point because I pointed the gun at him... SO I was fucking around with the idea of... using my idol on myself, causing a 2 to 2 tie.. and well.. unless Jacob wants to go to rocks by himself... and basically get voted out.. Mr. Nick goes. But it's LITERALLY FINAL 18............ If this was final 11, sure i'd do this in a heart beat... but this is such a bad bitch move i'm scared people will see I got something on my resumé already. They'll see I went against an alliance for VI. It's just so risky.. but I told myself i'd have FUN in this game.. I just don't want to make a move purely on a past game or purely on emotion. I want to be making moves that move me forward in the game..

I LOVE JOANNA!!! THIS IS A JOANNA APPRECIATION POST!!!!!! and dan has the idol. 

Unsurprisingly, we lost the challenge. I worked my lil booty off as best as I could (I did give up but that is beside the point at this current moment) and I have been friendly, fricking nice as all hell, and then Miguel wants to vote me out. And honey... I think that sealed your fate. I am working on being a little more ruthless I guess because I really want to win this game, so if you come for me, you bet I'm coming for you. I've always made jury and I don't think that this is the season I'm getting stuck with pre-jury. Miguel is the only relationship I don't feel confident in so... bye sis. 

The immunity challenge was a hard-fought battle, but we managed to pull out a win near the end. It was the most stressful time of my life. Honestly, I felt that if we lost then I would get voted out next. Thankfully, that did not happen. However, this is a huge wake up call for me to get my ass into gear and start being more social with my tribe. Otherwise, I might find myself in the bottom and that is not a position I want to be in.

AHHHH so my tribe won immunity and reward and things are great!  Someone mentioned yesterday (Kevin?? Maybe) that this means we are the last tribe to have to see tribal council and that is a GREAT THING!  I really wonder who is going to go home- I just hope it isn't Owen.  I also really hope he still wants to work with me if we end up on a tribe together. In other news, I'm curious to see if a swap is about to happen.  With a double tribal happening tonight it seems as though it would be a big maybe! Also I'm still irritated that my glee shirt didn't count as a band tee, when everyone asks what kind of music I like the first thing I always say is 'anything by the cast of glee' xD I don't feel like I was much help in the challenge but I was there and got points for wine and sequins if that means anything. 

doing this ON TIME.. anyways chile. WOO WE DID IT! finally not coming in last hehe. god the amount of i was just frantically running around my house.. well thank god my family didn’t question it for the most part hehe. overall this challenge was super duper fun and i’m HOPING we can continue to win some because the stress of my tribe wanting to go against me.. yea it’s there. hopefully my paranoia is just that and i have nothing to worry abt ✨

Hey all you cool cats and kittens! It’s Dan, not Carole Baskin, but with the same crackhead energy. So Miss Miguel should be leaving tonight! It’s not anything personal at all. He’s a really sweet guy, but he’s just not around. I work mad hours a week and still make time for this stuff. Joanna is worried because she knows her name is going around so as long as she doesn’t try to pull something, everything is good. I think the chances of that happening are slim to none honestly. I feel like had I been able to compete in the comp I could have helped way more than others. I have a ton of random shit in my apartment that was asked for!!! I was a little shady toward Jacob in the Great Hall chat so lettuce pray that he doesn’t act like a petty fool if we swap together. I am kinda anticipating a swap after this tribal but we’ll see!!! 

we won immunity and nothing has changed on my tribe for me since my last confessional woo consistency yay c:

im sad. we have to vote out vi which is so sad. i love her shes so sweet but i have suhc a tight bond with jess and nick that like there isnt another option. but ugh someone hold my hand

Darn, we were so close to winning, yet so far. Always remember, the unintentional matsing is just as mighty as the intentional, so 3 of us making swap or merge is much more advantageous than a unit of 4. I love my tribe, I do, and I genuinely feel I may be in danger! I trust Jess and Jacob though (JJJ: Jess, Jacob, Jay), so I’m hoping for another unanimous decision. (I will probably be asleep at tribal since I have 1 hour of sleep today)

So out tribe basically gave everything they could in a 12 hour challenge of Hell. I tried especially hard thinking I would be voted out if we lost because no one really talks "game" with me. I know that side seasons are 'Survivor Lite' but typically people at least talk game. I know I wasnt the target from last vote because everyone assured me they want to work with me and Josh said to vote him out in the tribe chat. Apparently though Josh wanted to do a blindside and reached out to Autumn to let her know asking me if he had asked me. So honestly Autumn is the truest! The other two notnvoting me inlobe seeing but if Josh talked to them then... hm Anyway I cant play a perfect game anymore :( Also I have officially dug through all of Hagrids things and he has no idol for me. I thought he might have something in could take and use somewhere else since he is a keeper of keys. But naw.

Guess who lost by two points!! Fricking Nicholas and Jacob leaving us for 7 hours. Then nick only showed up for the last 3ish but he didn’t even submit anything. Wth? We’re gonna try to kick him out.

i love my tribe so much we keep having more and more fun each time :D i definitely think after max's april fools prank i'm even more inclined to want to vote him if we lose, but i'm also grateful he's not really gone because mayhaps a weeb alliance in the future is possible.... !!! i also always utilize the great hall segments to make myself known and thought about even if people also think i'm a bit annoying, idc, the main thing is they remember me and when we meet on a swap or something i am one of the first they choose to talk to! it is always an important strategy of mine, people don't realize that in big games, one of the most crucial things you can do is leave a big first impression on people on the other tribes, you have the lucky opportunity to get some spaces where you meet them in ORGs unlike in the real world - USE it to let them form an idea of you in their head and decide they like you before they even meet you, it's a weird phenomena but i've found it's one of my most consistent strategies, when i actually decide to employ it (flashback to me being so lazy in 2020 i barely even used one world.. eep) hufflepuff is cute and we WILL be continuing to make marshmallow moves, until i get to make my own independent marshmallow moves to win

Soooo we finally lost a challenge kfjahsdj time to put this alliance to the test! The answer seemed pretty clear to me though - everyone kinda just wants to do Miguel. I feel bad, because I do think these competitions have NOT played to his strengths at all and I know he can be a great competitor. And I really wanted to get to know him again this time around. For a second, Dan and I considered saving him as a loyal number... but I just can't do that to Joanna, who has rlly busted her ass lately. So tonight it's a harder choice than it seems, but ultimately, I'm going with Miguel, and I told him that. I really wish he would've put more effort into our conversations before he was in trouble lmao. Also, DAN FOUND THE IDOL HEHEHEEH so that's great :) Glad to know he trusted me enough to tell me about it! I think he's probably going to be pretty loyal this time to me? And I feel like I have to give that same courtesy back to him. Someone will probably take one of us out eventually. I rlllly do not want to stress. If for some reason they blindside me tonight or Miguel has another idol or something, it has been fun <3

[assholemurphy]

so, i actually laid down for abt 3 hours instead of doing my itt final. oops. i didn’t even sleep, i just laid there. i mean, i tried, but i couldn’t. so, i’m gonna be out of adderall and my last pill will have worn off probs around the time i get home from shop, so, that’s gonna suck. writing two papers, a script, and reading a play with no adderall is gonna be a bitch. i’ve got my xr, maybe (still haven’t looked to see if i kept it or not, probs not), and that may help, but i’m p much fucking screwed on this one. what should take 4 hours (6 with breaks) is gonna end up taking like, 10, probably. unfortunate.

i’m gonna finish my trunk this afternoon and deal with that. it’ll take abt an hour or so. maybe one and a half. then i’ll be finished with it completely. i dunno if i’ll take it home on fri or wait til after break, it just depends. i wanna bring it home asap so i can use it when i organize my apartment, but it probs won’t be easy to carry bc while it has a handle, it’s significantly heavier than it was before, and i dunno if i’ll be able to find somebody who can help me transport it. but i can try.

one good piece of news from the shitfest that has been this past week: due to the loans i’m getting ($2k more this semester and $2k+ next semester) i’ll be able to cover the other half of the rent on my apartment (my mother will continue paying for half like she has been bc i’m jobless and don’t have the time to get one bc i get 15 hours of concentration per day and i’ve already got classes, rehearsal (if i get a part in the crucible next semester, but i will have to direct a play and design lights for a play later in the semester), shop hours (only 2 per week, but i try to stay the full afternoon, so 4 hours, unless we need a lot of help in the shop, then i’ll be there more, which will probs happen next semester), and a fuckton of homework (i’m currently enrolled in 5 classes for next semester, tho i may add a 6th if it’s offered, i need to check like, right now). i rly do not have time for a job and it’s rly hard to find one that would work with my schedule if i did bc my days are scheduled weirdly. i rly want a job, but like, finding one/actually being able to work is difficult) so i don’t actually need a roommate until fall (when my brother should be going to college) but even then, i could just keep paying it with more loans. not good in the long term, but i’ll deal with that when i graduate. so, i’m rly happy abt that. i’m gonna stick a futon in the extra room for friends, but it’ll mainly be used for art/crafting purposes. that’ll be nice. i’ll also get to decorate how i want and not in a way that ‘looks cute’ bc ewww. i just want punk shit all over the walls and an unholy amount of organizational items, is that so wrong? i also won’t have to worry about listening to the big bang theory theme play for 6 hours straight every night. and i can do hw whenever and not worry abt being interrupted. and i can cook my own meals and organize the kitchen properly (instead of the catastrophe my roommate has turned it into. tupperware in the pots cabinet!? baking pans in the pots cabinet!? things we use regularly on rly high shelves!? two fucking junk drawers!? and the dishes are never done, despite that being her chore (which i wouldn’t mind so much if she didn’t constantly nag me abt cleaning, ya know?)). it’ll be great. i’ll be able to do whatever the hell i want whenever the hell i want. i can watch whatever i want on tv. i can play video games for 6 hours straight (okay, no, i can’t, i don’t have time, but if i did). i’ll be able to have ppl over any time without worrying abt her freaking out. there’ll be space in the fridge and i can properly organize the pantry. god, i can’t wait. gonna be fucking awesome.

i do have to get ready for class now, tho, bc i’ve got to do my hair/makeup and make sure i look nice. then i’ve got to head to campus to print things and fill out forms. then my final. then the trunk. then i’m taking a goddamn nap. then i will worry abt my itt final project when i wake up. i should be up around 7p (bc i should be done in the shop by 2) so i can work on my final until 3-ish, so i should be finished by then, hopefully. i’ll sleep til 9:30a, get ready for my drs appt, turn in my final, see the dr (or see the dr then turn in the final, either way), and come home to pack for break. i would stay and organize things first, but i’m sick af and idk when i’ll be having surgery, so i’m not sure it’s a good idea to stay. i might still, tho, just until i’ve got everything organized (which might take abt 5 days). not too sure, yet. depends on when/if i can get my surgery scheduled. everything revolves around that rn. but i will have my apartment organized before next semester starts. i cannot live with my room this messy anymore, it’s driving me insane. i fucking hate disorganization and messes with a passion. like, i don’t mind clutter, rly, if it’s bc i’m working on something, but otherwise, it’s a big nope.

so, i’m off to get ready for class (after i check to see if the photography course is offered in the spring, might not be bc ik it’s offered in the fall) and take my final. i’m nervous af but i’m gonna do my best to kick ass.

[assholemurphy]

i am awake at 5am bc i got drunk af last night. starting at 9pm. i didn’t stop until 2am. i drank a fuckton. more than i should have. it was 47%. kracken’s the good shit, i s2g. but i shouldn’t have drank so much. i’m getting bad with this shit. i drink a lot, lately. i mean, it’s college and i can, but my roommate’s worried i’m gonna be an alcoholic (spoiler: she is, but that’s none of my business) but my counselor literally laughed at that suggestion (bc i got drunk on a tues night and then had ONE drink the next night) and said i’m fine. but.... well, i’m not entirely sure. bc drinking is nice and relieves stress and therefore i’m going to end up doing it a lot bc i’m always stressed. but i’m okay with that. if i become an alcoholic, i’ll be a functioning one, so it won’t rly matter, not in a way that could affect my degree and that’s all i care abt. i’ll sort the shit later, but first, i need a career. then i can pay for rehab, lmao.

but, i was invited to a cast party for the show i was in (i got stopped in public yesterday by a guy who complimented me on it!) and i wasn’t sure i was gonna go, and i said i didn’t know if i was to my roommate, goldilocks, who took it as ‘oh, she’s not going’ and then proceeded to find a ride, make plans, etc to go without me. that’s fine? not rly, but i said it was. so i didn’t go to the cast party. instead i invited the victory bros (my friends, pretty boy and rafiki, no, their name isn’t actually victory, that’s a long, weird ass story) but i invited them over and pretty boy and i got drunk, rafiki didn’t. it was a lot of fun. i think i preferred it just being us to being in a house full of ppl who don’t rly like me to begin with. i mean, some of them do, but not enough of them for me to feel comfortable getting drunk with all of them. i did want to go, even got dressed nice for it, but when my roommate said she had made other plans, i said ‘fuck it’ and decided to hang out with my actual friends, not a bunch of ppl who pretend to like me for appearances. i think that was the better choice, tbh.

but, i’ve decided to start focusing on getting my shit together as opposed to trying to save goldilocks. she doesn’t want to get better, i’ve offered her help, i’ve let her drag me down to the point where i’m missing class and not turning in hw and i can’t do that. i need to fix myself and i can’t do that if i’m trying to fight her. i love her, a lot, but jfc, she needs professional help and i’m just not what she needs rn. she needs more than pretty boy and i can give her, and she’s so fucking unwilling to take the help we do offer. i’m gonna feel hella guilty for not saving her, but i can’t fix her if she doesn’t want help. so, i’ll deal. and work on myself. i’m slowly getting better, with the help of pretty boy, rafiki, and my counselor. i’m not undoing all of my progress for her, i can’t. i won’t. so, i’m gonna stop trying to fix her and just work on myself. i need to withdraw a little bit so i’m not as reactive to her. we’re both empaths and feed on other ppl’s emotions, so since she’s literally always anxious/upset/angry/etc, i feel it and it makes me upset, too, and that in turn feeds her more, and again and again in circles. it’s like living in a nuclear reactor. idk what to do. we used to be close, but lately she’s been pulling away and hanging with other ppl (which is obvs fine) and shitting on my friends (not fine) and blowing me off to do other things even when we had plans (also not fine). i’m getting srsly tired of it. idk what to do. i don’t want to ruin things, but it’s beginning to become obnoxious. she’s so fucking fragile, too, that anything she sees as conflict or an attack makes her shut down or go off on me. i thought my bipolar disorder was bad, at least i’ll admit i need medication.

anyway, i haven’t slept yet but i’m going to try around 8 bc i’ve got to make sure she’s up so she can do a theatre thing at the high school here. why that’s my responsibility, idk, but she asked and wouldn’t let me say no (i said no, but she kept asking, bc i was going to try to sleep at like, 3) so i’m staying up until she’s awake, then i’ll pass out. but i’ve got a killer headache (i need more water, but it’s in the fridge and that’s so far) and i just want to sleep. then when i wake up i’ve got to start on my hw. i’ve got 5 assignments and my therapy assignment thing to do. that should take a total time of like 8 hours, but i may have more to do for my script analysis group project, so it may be closer to 10 hours. then i need to make up my planner (i bought an hourly one and a monthly one), update my wall calendar for the month, put together my desk calendar, and get started on reading the next script for intro to theatre (which i might just do on sun) so i’m caught up/ahead. i’ll get that done this weekend and try to get some writing done, bc i need some self care in my life and writing is my self care. but these past few days i’ve been falling apart and i need to grab ahold of my fucking bootstraps and duct tape them to my fucking ears. bc i’ve got to get my shit in order. i just have to. so, i’ve got like 15 hours of work and organizing to do this weekend but then i’m free.

i’m dying, cats. this is too much at once and i’m drowning in other ppl’s emotions. i think i’m just gonna start going to the library bc this whole apartment is like a spawning ground for bad shit. so, i may pack up today or sunday and go to the library and get some work done there. but rn i’m gonna shower and try not to puke (i don’t get hangover’s, i’ve just felt sick all week, but hey, got my period, so ik i’m not pregnant! not that i logically could be, but ya know, paranoia). so, that’s what’s currently happening with izzy on today’s ep of ‘no kill shelter: god’s fav sitcom’ (for the other stories, one must speak directly to rafiki, pretty boy, and goldilocks)