#haven’t edited anything for gary in a while

[disastrouscanasta]

baby hotline - jack stauber’s micropop / everybody’s happy nowadays - the buzzcocks / i know it’s over - the smiths / how soon is now? - the smiths / the world’s end (2013) - dir. edgar wright

[morgana-larkin]

FIRST i just wanna say im obsessed with your writing!!

second i wanted to ask for a mel x reader!! where they are at janines party (like the finale”. basically they have really big feelings for each other but neither of them (especially mel) wants to admit it. during the party reader and mel gets really drunk (like she did in the episode). some guy starts flirting with the reader and mel gets jealous and just grabs the reader and pulls her out of the party and kisses her, and takes the reader to her place. maybe leads to some smut!?? then they wake up the next morning and remember what they did, they admit they’ve had feelings for a while and maybe some softer smut at the end!!?💕💕

Hi anon! I’m so happy you love my writing! ❤️. I hope I wrote it to your liking with enough fluff and smut! Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!

On another note: I’ll either be working on the next prompt or the next chapter of worth it, I haven’t decided yet. It’s a Chessy prompt, which one would you like?

Drunk With Jealousy

Warnings: Smut, Fluff, Slight Angst

Words: 2.6k

“So are you going to Janine’s party?” You ask Melissa in the break room. It’s the last day of school today before summer break.

“Yep, are you?” She asks and you nod.

“I wouldn’t miss it, especially more now that I know you’re going to be there.” You tell her and you look at your food and miss the blush that forms on her cheeks.

Later that day you arrive at the party at 7:50. You wanted to be early since you could help Janine with last minute setups that always happen at parties.

“Hey y/n!” Janine exclaims

“Hey Janine!” You say. “I wanted to know if you needed help with last minute setups.” You tell her and you hear voices coming from her kitchen.

“No I don’t believe so. Barb and Melissa are already here if you want to go see them, or at least Melissa.” Janine says and you look at her confused. “We all know you have feelings for her.” She tells you and you sigh. You go to the kitchen and true enough, Barb and Melissa are there, talking about something.

“Hey guys.” You say and Melissa whips her head around to see you and she smiles.

“Hey y/n!” She says.

“Hello dear.” Barb says as Melissa looks at a loss for words. “I’m going to finish up the living room. Maybe y/n can help you out in here.” Barb says to Melissa with a wink, that you don’t see, and leaves.

You’ve had a crush on Melissa since you started there 2 years ago as a second grade teacher. She was in a serious relationship with Gary at the time so you didn’t say or do anything. Then they broke up about 6 months ago and you found out she started hooking up with the fire chief.

Melissa on the other hand was a bit different. When you first started she didn’t think much of you as you were new. She thought you were attractive but nothing more than that. It wasn’t until 6 months after you started that she started getting to know you. She started developing a crush on you close to when you were finishing your first year at Abbott. She didn’t act on it as she was still with Gary at the time. But when they broke up, Melissa thought about telling you how she felt but chickened out and started hooking up with the fire chief. She will neither confirm nor deny that she’s imagined you there instead of the fire chief, more than once.

“So what are you two doing here early?” You ask Melissa once Barb left.

“Helping to tidy up. You?”

“I was making sure she didn’t need any help with last minute preparations.” You tell her and she nods.

“I see. So are you planning to get drunk tonight?” She asks and you chuckle.

“I am yes. I took an Uber here and I’ll take one back home.” You tell her and she shakes her head. “Are you planning to get drunk tonight?”

“Maybe, we’ll see.” She says and then you hear a knock at the door.

10 minutes later people are filling the space and dancing and getting drunk. You started drinking about 5 minutes ago and you’re currently on the dance floor while Melissa is happily staring at you from the kitchen. She’s leaning against the doorframe, with a barely touched drink in hand while she’s watching you dance.

“Why don’t you go dance with her.” Barb says as she comes up beside Melissa.

“Why would I do that?”

“Because then you’d both have fun together.” Barb states like it’s obvious.

“I’d have fun but I bet she wouldn’t. She probably wouldn’t want to dance with someone my age.” Melissa says. Just then you look over to see Melissa and Barb at the kitchen entrance and Barb is motioning you over. Melissa downs her drink as she sees you coming over, stumbling a bit.

“Hey guys!!” You slur a little bit.

“Hello dear, how many drinks have you had?” Barb asks and you think for a second.

“2 or maybe 3.” You tell them and Melissa snorts.

“Here, lemme take your cup and get you a refill. I need another myself.” She says and takes your cup to get you another drink.

“Dear, you should invite Melissa to dance with you.” Barb says.

“I would love to, but I don’t know if she likes to dance.”

“I’m certain she’d love it if you invited her to dance with you.” She tells you and you smile at that. Just then Melissa returns with 2 cups full of alcohol and you take a sip before looking at her.

“What?” Melissa asks as she catches you staring.

“Wanna dance with me?” You ask her and she looks taken back.

“Uh, um, s-sure.” She stutters out and Barb pushes her a bit towards you when she doesn’t move. You grab her hand and lead her onto the dance floor. You get to a spot near the middle where you both have space to dance and you start dancing with her. Barb starts dancing near you guys at some point.

About 10 minutes later the power goes out and Melissa goes to refill your cups. When she comes back a couple minutes later, she sees you talking with another teacher and she grips the cups a bit tighter. She walks closer to you guys to hear what you’re talking about and she sees him touching your arm and laughing at whatever you said. She puts the plastic cups down at whatever is closest to her and makes a beeline for you. She’s had about 3 cups of alcohol at this point and she’s not in the right state of mind to think about anything clearly.

When she reaches you, she grabs your hand and pulls you away from the teacher. She brings you to the doorframe of Janine’s bedroom and kisses you with force. You kiss her back with just as much force and then the power comes back on. You both pull apart and look to see it back on and then Mr Johnson comes and stops in front of you.

“Hey Janine.” He says and looks past both of you. “I fixed the problem.” He says and you both turn to face the bedroom and see Janine and Gregory there looking shocked at you both. “Am I interrupting something?” He asks all 4 of you.

“No, come on y/n.” She says and grabs your hand.

“Where are we going?” You ask with a giggle.

“My place.” Is all she says and you let her lead you away. She calls an Uber and you make it back to her place in 10 minutes. As soon as you walk through the door, her lips are on yours again and she pushes you up against her door. She hoists you up and you wrap your legs around her waist and arms around her neck. She moves her mouth to your neck and begins sucking whatever spot she put her mouth on first. You put your hands in her ginger locks and gasp as she began sucking. You undo her blazer and take it off of her and roam your hands on the exposed skin. She then carries you to her bed and drops you on it then crawls on top of you. She grabs the hem of your dress then looks at you and you nod. She takes your dress off and you're left in your matching bra and underwear set.

You take her gold shirt off and roam your hands all over her back and tummy while she kisses you and cups your breasts over your bra. You moan into the kiss and she reaches behind you and unclips your bra then rips it off of you. She cups your now fully exposed breasts as she’s straddling your hips. She leans close to you as she starts playing with your nipples.

“You’re mine y/n. You’re not that other teacher’s, the one who was flirting with you, mine.” She says, voice dripping with jealousy. You buck your hips and moan as she’s playing with your nipples and the sound of her voice with so much jealousy is getting you excited. She takes her bra off and you open your eyes and see that magnificent sight. The sight of her ginger hair perfectly framing her face, her emerald eyes that are so captivating, her lips that are so kissable, her amazing breasts that you want to suck on, and her tummy that has so much skin to touch. She takes her leather pants off and she’s left in her underwear and socks.

“You’re so beautiful.” You blurt out and she smiles at you as she strokes your cheek.

“Thank you, and just so you know I’m gonna fuck you so good that you’ll forget about ever wanting to be with someone else.” She tells you and you quirk an eyebrow.

“What if I already do that?” You tell her and she gives you a smile then a passionate kiss. She then retrieves the strap on and goes back to the bed. She takes off her underwear and puts the strap on. She takes a nipple in her mouth and she begins sucking on it and licking it with her hot tongue and you buck your hips. She lines the strap with your entrance and inserts it slowly. You gasp out as you feel it start to fill you up and you want more, more of Melissa. She gets you to bend your knees when she’s all the way in and she starts to slowly pump in and out of you. She goes faster and faster until you’re moaning out her name. “Omg Melissa, please I need you.” You tell her and she has no idea what you’re asking for as she’s already fucking you.

“What do you need from me babygirl?” She asks and you moan.

“I need you closer to me.” You tell her and she smiles at you and brings her body down to lay on your body.

“Is that what you need from me babygirl? My body on yours.” She questions and you nod. You place your hands on her back and dig your nails into her skin and she moans as it feels good, like you’re trying to mark her so nobody else does. She keeps pumping in and out of you and she puts her hand to your clit and begins rubbing circles on it. You come not long after that but she doesn’t stop.

“Omg Me-Melissa.” You gasp out.

“I still need to come babygirl, I’m so close.” She tells you. She comes a few seconds later and you come right after her as she was still rubbing your clit.

She pulls out of you gently and removes the strap and lays down next to you. You both try and catch your breath as she gets you to cuddle her. You shimmy closer to her and lay your head on her chest and wrap an arm around her waist. You fall asleep on her and she watches you for a few seconds before she gives you a kiss on your head before falling asleep herself.

You wake up to her spooning you and you began freaking out a bit. You try to get out of her grasp and out of bed to change and leave but you slip and fall off the bed. Melissa bolts awake at the noise and crawls to the edge of the bed to find you on the ground.

“Ooowww.” You groan out.

“Are you ok? Did you get hurt at all?” She says as she helps hoist you up.

“I think just my ass… and my pride.” You tell her and she giggles. You then suddenly remember you’re completely naked and you go to get dressed.

“What are you doing?” She asks you as she watches you put your underwear on.

“I’m getting dressed, what does it look like I’m doing?” You tell her and she looks slightly upset.

“Why?”

“Well I’m not going to leave naked.” You tell her a bit annoyed.

“Why are you leaving? I mean, you- you don’t want to stay?” She asks you as you put your bra on and then look at her.

“Melissa, usually one night stands don’t stay.” You tell her and she’s looking at you confused.

“This was a one night stand?” She asks as you pick up your dress.

“Well we got drunk, and then we had sex. What would you call that?”

“I think you left out the part that I got jealous.” She tells you and you look at her confused.

“Jealous? Jealous about what?”

“The teacher who was flirting with you.”

“Why did you get jealous of that?”

“Because I like you.” She says and you drop your dress that you were holding.

“You-you like me?” You ask her and she nods. You walk towards her as she’s still in the bed. You cup her cheek and she leans into your touch and hums. “I like you too.” You tell her and she smiles softly at you.

“Really?” She asks and you smile and nod. She gets so excited that she grabs your waist and pulls you down onto the bed and you end sitting across her lap. She moves the hair out of your face and she kisses you. She gets you to lay on the bed and goes on top of you. She kisses your neck and unclips your bra. She trails down to your nipples while she takes your underwear off. She rubs your legs up and down to touch all over you.

You’re gasping and moaning underneath her and then she switches to the other nipple and you buck your hips. She inserts a finger in your entrance and you buck your hips.

“Oh, oh my god Melissa. I love you!” You scream out and she freezes the pumping.

“What did you say?” She asks and you look at her.

“I said I love you. And I do, I really do love you.” You say and she smiles at you.

“I love you too.” She tells you and kisses you before you can reply. She starts pumping in and out of you and you gasp into the kiss. She presses her thumb to your clit and brings her free hand to one of your nipples. The pleasure is quickly building and you feel yourself getting close to an orgasm.

“I’m so close, Melissa.” You tell her and you wrap your arms around her neck and pull her close to you.

“Come when you need to babygirl, I’ve got you.” She tells you and she goes faster.

You then gasp out as you come and she slows down before she pulls out.

Before she can react you stick your fingers in her and she gasps out as she falls forward. Her hands are next to your head as you pump in and out of her.

Oh, oh, y/n, yes! Don’t stop! Please!” She screams out and you pull her down to you and kiss her lips. She pulls back just a little bit and she’s breathing heavily in your ear as she’s close to coming. “Oh y/n, I’m about to…” She screams out as she comes. You pull out of her and she stays straddling your lap, trying to catch her breath. She strokes your cheek and she smiles at you. “I love you so much, babygirl.”

“I love you so much too.” You tell her and pull her down to kiss her.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

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Let me know if you want to be added!

[ncisfranchise-source]

Jessica Knight “is an adrenaline junkie,” Katrina Law points out. Her job as Chief REACT training officer? Well, that didn’t really satisfy that part of her. But she did get a taste of it in the NCIS Season 22 premiere, in which she became the one holding hostages—two suspects in her case, which involved a missing undercover agent: Torres (Wilmer Valderrama)!

And, after it was all wrapped up, Knight was offered a promotion, with her tactical actions noticed by the Office of Strategic Support. But she turned it down. She was tempted, however, as “any person who is ambitious” would be, Law tells TV Insider. (Watch the full interview above.)

“Even if you know that it might not be the job that you want, even if you know that it might not lead to immediate happiness, for ambition, you have to climb that ladder and you know that some rungs of the ladder might not be as comfortable or as wonderful as the next rung,” she continues. “But I think ultimately, this is the point that Knight is at in her life where before she would’ve immediately taken that job and she would’ve just sacrificed her happiness, her wellbeing to do what she was supposed to do. And for the first time she’s going, you know what? I think I’m going to pause and I think I’m actually just going to do what makes me happy and what instinctively feels right.”

Instead, Knight is returning to where she belongs: back in D.C. with her team, Parker (Gary Cole), McGee (Sean Murray), and Torres. It’s easy for her to settle back in, Law says. One relationship that definitely hasn’t suffered? Hers with Kasie (Diona Reasonover). “They’ve been talking pretty much every day since she left, so they’ve been texting like BFFs,” she says.

But Knight has a lot of ground to cover with her ex-boyfriend, Dr. Jimmy Palmer (Brian Dietzen). “Even though they broke up, there is true love between the two of them and a genuine affection and respect,” says Law, noting the issues that came up as a result of her move to California. “There’s a lot of loss on both sides and a lot of trauma that comes with it. So it’ll be interesting to see if they recognize that, if they talk about it, if their love overcomes that. But ultimately I think there are going to be some really fun and awkward, awkward, awkward moments.”

The fourth episode will be a major one for the exes. At that point, Knight will have been back with the team for weeks, if not months, “but yet they haven’t spoken about anything and now all of a sudden they are in a situation where they are sitting next to each other with no way out and the conversation needs to be had,” Law previews. “And I don’t know how it’s going to be edited or how it’s going to come across the audience, but I think that there is a very definitive moment where Knight opens up the door to say, do you want to stay this way or would you like something to possibly change? And Jimmy has a reaction that kind of breaks her heart a little bit.”

So while Knight may want to get back together with him, she continues, “I think she realizes that there are these fundamental issues that she cannot work through with him, that he has to do his own work on these issues to become whole again and she just needs to take a step back.”

Watch the full video interview above with Law about Knight’s choice at the end of the premiere, her and Palmer’s relationship, what’s coming up, and more.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

idk how many people would even want to see this BUT i wanna yell about Leela and Brax so here's a list of all their scenes togethr/scenes pertainng to them that i can recall (pLEASE add on if i missed anything/ you have any additional thoughts!! i could talk about these two all day!)

right off the bat in Weapon of Choice when Leela is on the outskirts of the Citadel and Brax goes to bring her back (which is interesting in and of itself, bc usually i would imagine a chancellery guard would go do that so what made Brax decide to instead??), Leela kinda goes off at him bc she's hurting and instead of trying to actually explain what's going on Brax doesn't even try to argue he just says "we need you" which is great bc Leela has that instinctive desire to be needed and to help people and he's speaking right to that -- also as far as we know, this is Leela and Brax's first actual meeting in canon? it's implied that they know of each other, which makes sense, but it doesn't seem like they've ever directly interacted before: Brax seems almost slightly uncertain, and Leela is combative, but when he's gentle with her she's actually quite receptive

the literal next scene after that, where the OT4 is all in one room for the first time (they still kinda hate each other at this point but still !!!). Narvin explaining Gryben and being a real jerk about it and Leela (understandibly!) questions if Gryben is a prison world, and Brax (who to this point has been mostly quiet as Narvin and Romana brief Leela) jumps in to both clarify Narvin's previous xenophobic statements while also maintaining the inherent questionable/negative connotations

(btw it's actually pretty important to note that Romana self-edits herself a lot when talking to Leela, especially in the earlier seasons; you can actually hear her revising the things she says to put it in terms that she thinks Leela will better understand. and i mean she does it out of genuine consideration for her friend associate but it often comes across as varying levels of patronizing. Narvin also obviously "dumbs things down" when dealing with Leela early on, but like... Brax never does that on any level. the only difference i can tell in how he addresses Leela vs how he talks to anybody else is that he seems much more kind with her than almost anyone else???)

their conversation about the Matrix in The Inquiry: this is REALLY important (and if you've ever talked to me on ao3 i've probably gone off to you about it lol) because it's layered. they're talking about the Matrix but they're also not because in answering Leela's question Brax is making a very thinly veiled allegory (which he outright states a minute later) to Time Lord society/politicians/most importantly HIMSELF -- he's actually strangely open about his morals/beliefs in this scene and i'm living for it tbh -- and i find it very interesting that even though he does directly explain what he means ("how do you know all this?" / "because i am a politician.") he also leaves it for Leela to work out the implications. like it's a very nuanced conversation bc there's double meaning in it and most people on Gallifrey seem to think that Leela is tone-deaf and can't pick up on that stuff (even Romana sometimes oversimplifies things to her) but Brax totally just lets her take from it what she will bc he believes her intelligent enough to understand. he doesn't think her any lesser because she's human.

ALSO on a secondary note to the above: the fact that Leela has a question/needed clarification (sorry, haven't listened to this in a while i forget how it actually happened) and actively sought out Brax to talk to about it?? like she knows Romana better she could have gone to her but i feel like Leela kinda imprinted on Brax and someone she can go to for help if she needs it; maybe it's partly bc she knows he's under marginally less pressure than Romana is but also the truth of the matter is that Brax was the most genuinely helpful person to her in the previous stories and that probably means a lot to her (esp. bc he acts like the essence of everything she hates about Gallifrey but he doesn't treat her the way she would expect from that). btw this topic is gonna come up again in a hot minute

that part where Brax gives her that information that might help her re: the Andred thing, even though he really probably shouldn't have done that -- it kinda makes me think about what he must have been like with Theta tbh???

actually this is mostly my own conjecture but there's some neat stuff in Spirit bc during the *waves hand vaguely* bodyswap dream sequence thing, Romana is very "!!!! Brax can help us !!!" which is tecnically Leela brain talking, so like there's the implications of the stuff i've said above about Leela having this idea of Brax where she knows he's someone she can go to for help

can u tell i'm soft for them

Leela sounding really sad/distracted when she talks about how Brax isn't there YES i'm grasping at straws but a lot of this relationship really is conveyed through the voice acting bc of how little direct focus there is on the characters. there's actually several scenes in Mindbomb where she mentions him and she outright says that she misses him during her discussion with Matthias

that implied scene with them in Mindbomb!! i have a Lot of thoughts about that!!! it's all conjecture and fanfic fodder!!! but the reason i mention this is because it seems pretty meta that out of the whole Gally Gang, it's Leela who first sees Brax when he comes back to Gallifrey and in turn she's the first person (besides Matthias, i guess) that he sees upon his return?? idk i just feel like that's somehow a meaningful detail??? also her reaction of utter shock after spending the entire episode missing him and how worked up she is when she tries to tell Romana, like I desperately need to know what happened in this missing scene MR RICHARDS PLEASE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED

Leela insisting on going with Brax when Pandora starts hurting him and their whole conversation there is just. so good. like they're both just so soft and then when Darkel comes in Leela instantly goes into protective mode. like they just have such an open relationship bc Brax doesn't even try to be all pretentious with her, like he doesn't even try to keep up any facades when he's with her he's just very genuine and it really says a lot about both of them -- Leela is so good at seeing people, like getting down to the core of who people are and what makes them them (which is why she's good for Romana, btw, bc Romana has a lot of identity issues) and Brax is so tangled up in who he presents himself as that he barely knows who he actually is anymore but Leela can see that and she makes it so he can truly be himself and he doesn't have to hide. also she's so gentle with him when they talk about Pandora, she's very caring and empathetic and wants to make sure he's okay and i am WEAK

it's been a hot while since i listened to Panacea but I think i remember Brax being really soft with Leela when he first brings the gang to the Axis, like just sounding really glad to see her

ok other than the fact that Brax is lowkey relatable in Reborn (daydreaming fanfic about yourself/people you know? simping for Mary Tamm Romana? yeah mood, my man) there's that scene where they're first appraoching the Citadel on the alt!Gallifrey and it seems like none of them, and Brax specifically, have seen it from the outside in a good long while bc he's very in awe and he tells Leela that he wishes she could see it and he sounds sO hEcKiNg sOFT oh my word-

and once again with Leela thinking of Brax as someone she trusts for help: in Dissassembled when everything is going to crap she straight-up says that she wants to go find Brax bc he'll know what to do/be able to help

at the beginning of Annihilation when Romana is depressed and questioning if Brax truly was her friend and Leela INSTANTLY, NO HESITATION assures her that he was; i lost where i had her exact lines written down but she actually kinda goes off to make sure Romana gets the point

literally forcing myself to talk about this bc it makes my brain stall out but like,,, the Brax Hound in Annihilation,,, Leela being like "goodbye, Braxiatel... again" she sounds so sad and like UGH i always kinda forget how sad it actually is for them to lose Brax in Dissassembled bc like, it was so sudden and they didn't get to say goodbye and Leela is always losing people and i have many many feels about this scene and how all that emotion is made very clear in how they each respond to the Hound (might make a separate post abt this later if anyone is interested ::eyes::)

Enemy Lines is utter bullcrap about these two and I will never stop being salty about how they not only sidelined the very good, very subtle friendship they had in s1-4, but they??? made Leela acutally not trust Brax??? when literally this entire time she's been the one person who probably genuinely trusts him the most?? what the heck, David

I haven't heard TW3 or 4 yet but i'm assuming there's nothing worthwhile in those with regards to this duo (correct me if i'm wrong tho lol, i would love to be mistaken in this assumption)

TL;DR Leela and Brax mututally imprinted on each other and have probably the most open and healthy relationship within the OT4 and it is an absolute CRIME that nobody besides Gary Russell and Justin Richards cared enough to actually build on it in canon

[byneddiedingo]

Peter Bogdanovich and John Huston in The Other Side of the Wind (Orson Welles, 2018) Cast: John Huston, Oja Kodar, Peter Bogdanovich, Susan Strasberg, Norman Foster, Robert Random, Lilli Palmer, Edmond O'Brien, Mercedes McCambridge, Cameron Mitchell, Paul Stewart, Gregory Sierra, Tonio Selwart, Geoffrey Land, Henry Jaglom, Paul Mazursky, Dennis Hopper, Curtis Harrington, Claude Chabrol, Stéphane Audran, George Jessel. Screenplay: Oja Kodar, Orson Welles. Cinematography: Gary Graver. Art direction: Polly Platt. Film editing: Bob Murawski, Orson Welles. Music: Michel Legrand. Inevitably (and intentionally), Orson Welles's The Other Side of the Wind is going to remind us of other films, including movies about making movies like Federico Fellini's 8 1/2 (1963) and such garish post-Code counterculture movies as Easy Rider (Dennis Hopper, 1969) and Zabriskie Point *(Michelangelo Antonioni, 1970). But what it doesn't remind me of very much are the movies made by Orson Welles. In his most troubled and inchoate films, like Mr. Arkadin (1955), Welles always gave us something to look and marvel at, even if it was only Michael Redgrave in a hairnet. The long-posthumously assembled Other Side doesn't give us much we haven't seen before, aside from a naked Oja Kodar wandering around the ruins of old Hollywood studio sets. Welles's intention is to spoof those counterculture movies while telling a story about how hard it is to make one. I think perhaps the chief problem lies in Welles's casting John Huston as the ill-fated Jake Hannaford, the aging and put-upon director, when he should of course have cast himself. Hannaford's young leading man, John Dale (Robert Random), has left the film in a huff, and what forward drive the narrative part of the film has consists of the director's response to that defection. Huston's predatory grin feels all wrong -- I never sense that his Hannaford has lost control of anything, except perhaps his libido. We need the vast imperturbable presence of Welles in the role, if only to make the point that this is the most personal, the most autobiographical of all his films. It's lamentable that it took almost half a century to bring The Other Side of the Wind to the screen, but the truth is, the story about why it took so long -- which Morgan Neville tells in his 2018 documentary, They'll Love Me When I'm Dead -- is more interesting than the film itself.

*Some of The Other Side of the Wind was shot in a house across the street from the Arizona house featured (and blown up, at least in miniature) in Antonioni's movie.

[arcanemoody]

It's 12:30pm.

I’m in Chicago.

I’m drinking cold brew with coconut milk.

Fun fact about panic attacks vs. anxiety attacks: the latter can last considerably longer than the former. This one, triggered by a glancing mention of sexual harassment (and the fear that I would be forced to explain it) is approaching the 15+ hours mark. That’s no one’s fault. I had a similar attack back in 2014; first-year girls on the university campus were being targeted and a 28-year-old coworker and a 60-year-old coworker decided to loudly speculate about whether or not they had invited it and why the teenage girls living away from home for the first time were not smart enough to get away. That particular attack led to me 1) telling my boss that the staff needed additional HR training and 2) yelling the story of how I was raped in my dorm room down the phone at my best friend in STL. Between this -- feeling like there’s sandpaper on every nerve ending -- and depersonalization where my brain takes me off the board and I don’t have to feel anything at all, I’d rather depersonalize. Alas, I’m on SSRIs and it’s not an option. Fuck.

I’ve nicknamed this attack the Self-Destructive Spree, in part because it led to me staying up until 5am, turning nonverbal for a while, considering self-harm coping mechanisms that I’ve had since I was a young teenager.

Upside: contrary to everything I just said, I don’t think this is going to be among my most severe attacks. It feels awful right now but I got some sleep and that helped a little. So did having caffeine, a little food, a little shopping. I walked to the military surplus store up here and got a vintage flight bag. I also sat down and watched a video on D&D’s Tomb of Horrors, which is among the more sadistic adventures Gary Gygax wrote and laughed my ass off for 20 straight minutes.

The usual anxiety symptoms are kind of difficult to measure right now -- fatigue is obvious, sensory stuff is really severe right now -- which includes overheating, constriction. I haven’t changed my outfit yet but that’s probably coming. I haven’t chewed or picked at my nails today but there’s not much left to do either of those things.

What my brain needs for my recovery from burnout today: limited contact with 90 percent of the outside world.

Things I feel positive about today: my new flight bag. Cherry poptarts. Writing and editing. Reading and taking granular notes on the history radical feminism.

[swan-of-sunrise]

The Winter Soldier (Chapter Four)

Summary: (Y/N) and Sam worry about their new super-soldier friend after it’s revealed that he’s on the run and wanted by S.H.I.E.L.D., the very agency he’d dedicated himself to.

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings/Disclaimers: None

A/N: Hope you all enjoy!

Chapter Four (Previous Chapter)

“It’s such bullshit! Captain America’s a criminal now?!”

“I know, Greg.”

“They haven’t even said what he’s done!”

“Yep, it’s ridiculous…”

“How can they organize a manhunt for him but not say what he’s supposedly done?!”

(Y/N) pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a frustrated groan. “Greg, you’re my friend and I love you but I can’t keep having this conversation with you.”

The line was silent for a moment. “What do you mean?”

“We’ve been having the exact same conversation for almost a half an hour! You can’t believe that Cap’s a criminal, I agree, you complain that they haven’t said what he’s wanted for, I agree, then you start going all ‘Law and Order’ on me!” She exclaimed, immediately regretting her outburst; with a sigh, she sat down in her desk chair and rubbed her forehead. “I’m sorry, Greg, that was rude. I don’t like what’s going on either; Captain America stands for freedom and honor, he always has, and it just seems…wrong that he’s the subject of a manhunt. I seriously doubt that Captain America of all people did anything to break the law.”

“Wow, when did you become such a big Cap fan?”

“I went to his exhibit when I was at the Air and Space Museum yesterday, and I guess it got me interested.” (Y/N) half-lied, fidgeting with the sleeve of her sweater as she pressed her phone closer to her ear. “Anyway, the reason I called was to tell you that it might take me a little longer to get the draft of my book to you; I still need to look over the last couple of chapters and with everything happening…it might be hard to focus on writing today.”

“Don’t worry about it, Mike’s busy reading through a nine-hundred-page thriller that was sent in this morning so that’ll give you some time. Sorry to cut this short but I’ve gotta go, I have to check on mine and Mara’s dinner reservation for tonight, so I’ll talk to you later, (Y/N)!”

“Talk to you later, Greg!” (Y/N) hung up and set her cell phone down on the desk with a sigh. Ever since she and Sam turned on the television at breakfast and saw the breaking news, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was horribly wrong; Steve Rogers wouldn’t be on the run from S.H.I.E.L.D. unless he had a damn good reason to be. I’m sure he’s fine, he’s probably been through much tougher scrapes than this, she thought to herself with forced optimism as she turned on her laptop and began typing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Humming along to Billy Joel’s ‘Movin’ Out’, (Y/N)’s fingers flew across her keyboard as she typed and she smiled, proud of the fact that her writer’s block from the week before was now officially over and that she was so close to completing her very first novel. Not bad, not bad at all, she thought, hitting the ‘save’ button and stretching her arms over her head to relieve the build-up tension in her shoulders.

“Now this is good music, Booksmart!”

She spun her desk chair around to see Sam standing in the doorway of her bedroom and raised her eyebrow as she turned down her music. “Oh, so Billy Joel’s okay but everything else I listen to is garbage?”

Sam gave her a teasing eye-roll. “I never said that your music was garbage, I just said it was weird. How’s the writing going today?”

“I edited twelve pages and just spent an hour trying to describe a Soviet Cold War-era missile, so it’s been okay. How was work?”

“It was good, I didn’t have any meetings scheduled so I spent most of the day playing chess with the old timers. I swear, I think Gary cheats but I can’t figure out how he does it…”

(Y/N) shrugged. “Or maybe you should just accept the fact that you’re terrible at chess and the old timers take great pleasure in seeing you lose.”

“Ha, ha, very funny. You still cool with driving me to the shop to pick up my car?”

(Y/N) got up, turning off her computer and unplugging her MP3 player from her speaker with a grin. “Of course! Driver picks the music, though!” She laughed and practically skipped out of the room as Sam let out a groan of defeat and followed her. “Oh, don’t be so dramatic, Birdbrain, it’s not like I’m making you listen to a CD of ambient throat singing!”

“Wouldn’t be surprised if you had some of that…”

Five minutes later, they were on the road and the two of them were singing along to her one of Panic! At The Disco’s newest singles at the top of their lungs; out of the corner of her eye she could see other drivers shooting them odd looks but she couldn’t care less, she was enjoying herself far too much.

Sam chuckled as the song came to a finish. “Damn, their new album is good. You know, I didn’t start listening to alt-rock until I met you.”

“Then you should be thanking me for bringing such good music into your life!” Giggling, (Y/N) turned down the volume and glanced over at the cheerful man sitting beside her, her smile faltering as she asked, “Do you think he’s okay, Sam?”

Her roommate’s expression grew serious and he shook his head. “I really don’t know. I saw on CNN earlier that inside sources claim he’s wanted by S.H.I.E.L.D. in connection to the assassination of their director, but I don’t buy it. The guy we’ve met, who’s so dedicated to his job that he hasn’t bothered getting a life outside of it, wouldn’t be a part of something like that. I think something else’s up and I’ll bet anything he’s out there trying to figure it out.”

(Y/N) bit her bottom lip, nodding after a moment. “Yeah, me too.”

“Just you wait, this whole mess with S.H.I.E.L.D.’ll be cleared up in no time. I’m calling it right now, Steve’s gonna ride up to the VA on his motorcycle and dramatically whisk you off your feet, and the two of you are gonna ride off into the sunset together while one of those sappy love songs you pretend not to like plays in the background.” Sam's teasing smirk widened when her cheeks flushed. “C’mon, Booksmart, you both were mooning over each other like teenagers after the meeting yesterday; I felt like I was in the live studio audience of a soap opera taping.”

“You know, I could always kick you out of the car and make you walk all the way to the shop, if you'd prefer.”

“And I'd still get there before you ‘cause you drive like a grandma...”

Soon after, she pulled into the auto repair shop’s lot, parking under the shade of a tree before turning to Sam with a smile. “Did you want me to stay just in case your car isn’t ready yet?”

“That would be great, actually, thanks!” Sam gave her a grin before getting out of the car and heading into the shop.

(Y/N) rolled down the windows and sighed when she felt the soft spring breeze against her skin. Taking advantage of the peaceful moment, she let her imagination wander and began brainstorming different stories and characters in her head. You should probably finish the book you’re writing before you start on another one, she thought with a playful eye-roll. Her childhood dream of becoming a published author was in the middle of coming true, and she couldn’t be any happier about it.

Just then, her eyes drifted to a silver truck that was driving past the parking lot. It was going fast so she couldn’t get a very good look at the driver, but for a split second she could have sworn that the man driving the truck had the same blonde hair and chiseled jaw as Steve Rogers. Chalking it up to worry for the runaway super-soldier, she closed her eyes and murmured, “Whatever he’s up to, I hope that he’s staying safe.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I’ve created a Spotify playlist inspired by this series, and I’ll be updating it every time I upload a new chapter. Enjoy!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4BenknAqQQnOWY8NmSa23V

Tagging: @mrs-obrien​ @lahoete​ @awkward117​ @cminr​ @momc95​ @awkwardnesshabitat​ @marinettepotterandplagg​ @khuang3​ @supersouthy​ @benakenalove​ @brooke0297​ @hufflepeople​ @becausewelie​​ @outoftheregular @supreme-tantrum​

Chapter Five

“The Winter Soldier” Masterlist

[matbaerzal]

amalie i have a concept!!! for reader and musician!mat what’s his first ever album release party like once he’s signed with a record label? and maybe what it’s like when he starts selling out shows???

i’m just obsessed with this universe of theirs 🥺

I’m so sorry for the late reply to this one 💕I went with the album release party! Hope you like it, lovely! 

A/N: Here’s a link to Then I Met You if you haven’t read it yet ❤️ Words: 700ish Warnings: alcohol mentions, not edited 😅

Mat couldn’t believe today was the day. He’d finally finished recording, mixing, tweaking and his album was ready to be released - tonight. So of course he’d invited everyone to come back to the place it started. Dan closed the whole café off for them, and it was now packed with anyone who had a hand in making or inspiring the album - his agent had sent out invitation to a couple critics too. 

As he stood by the bar with Barry, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you, standing next to his sister laughing at something she said. Yours and Liana’s friendship had grown quickly after you first met, she was over the moon to have you. Always bugging her brother whenever they talked to see if you were around, until you just gave her your number instead. 

He’s shaken out of his thoughts as Barry pats his shoulder, “I’m proud of you, kid”. 

“Thank you, Barry - for everything”

During the few moments he took his eyes away from you, you’d made your way over, but he doesn’t even need too look who it is when you link your arm around his. You lean your head on his shoulder and Barry gives you a smile before exusing himself, giving you a moment of privacy in the crowd. 

“Hi, baby” he murmurs, sliding his arm out of your grasp only to wrap his arms around your waist. “Hi, love” you slide your arms up his chest. 

“I had an interesting conversation with that guy over there earlier” you say, nudging your head towards the guy who’s stood next too Anders and Jordan. “Oh?” Mat raises his brow at you. You hum, “his name’s Gary, he’s a critic for the New York Times” - your smile grows as the words leave your mouth. 

“No way” his eyes widen in shock and you nod. “he loves the café, said his espresso martini was the best he’s ever had” you say teasingly. 

“Babe- c’mon” Mat urges you. 

“What?” you play innocent.

“Did he say anything about the album?”

“Oh, he hated it,” you don’t even wait a second for your sarcastic remark to stick before you tell him what Gary actually said. “Mat, he loved it. He’s coming over here as soon as he’s done talking to the guys - Anders started talking about the good old days back when you lived together, so he’ll be stuck a while” you laugh before continuing.

You see the flash of nervousness and instinctively slide your hand up to his neck, your fingers finding the hair at the nape of his neck. You run your hands trough the short strands, tugging slightly, and he instantly relaxes. 

“Just be you” you smile and he lets out a breath, leaning into your touch. He kisses your forehead softly. 

You both hear Liana before you see her - “stop being so cute”

Mat chuckles, smiling against your skin. Turning towards his sister, “nope, can’t help myself around her”. You shake your head with a smile on your face as you look at Liana. You lean away from him a little to include her.

“I need a drink” she says, “I think they have some juice boxes behind the bar” Mat pokes fun at her, making her stick out her tongue. 

“A vodka cranberry does sound like a good idea” you add, winking at Liana. “Oooh” she raises her brow at you, liking the suggestion. “it’s great you get along and all, but this” Mat points between the two of you, “this ganging up against me thing-” he tsks and shakes his head.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom quickly before Gary comes over” you ignore his words, excusing yourself with a laugh, kissing Mat’s cheek before you go. 

He watches you as you walk away, but the look his sister is giving him doesn’t go unnoticed. “Don’t ever let her go” Liana says, her usually sweet face is now stern - a clear warning as she points his finger at him. It’s not the first time she’s said something like this and he’s sure it won’t be the last - but he never hesitates to reassure her.

“Trust me, I will hold on as long as she lets me”

[forgotten-traveler]

Since I got coerced into doing this by @icepower55 I guess here’s me answering some questions about my writing (even though I haven’t written anything in months oops)

1. Your favorite story that you’ve written this year and why Ohh A Quota of Bad Luck. First, that story means a lot to me because it’s related to the field I’m working in and I can write/talk about that forever. I was super emotional when writing that, and I think the plot works really well cohesively with pretty much every chapter being about him going through a different stage of grief. I put Draco through the ringer in that one (Wife dying and mother dying of progressive diseases at pretty much the same time equals a no good very bad day) Plus I love exploring themes of masculinity along with grief (how does a man want to grieve? How does it actually come out when they’re trying to stay masculine and not show emotions? How does any of that change when they have to be a caregiver for their spouse?) and I loved juxtaposing his journey of grief with Lucius’s journey of grieving his wife.

2. A story with a reception that surprised you (either because it did better or worse than you anticipated) My GILF stories. I wrote the first as a dumb joke and I really didn’t think anyone else was going to find it funny, but the fact that a lot of people actually enjoyed them is so funny to me.

3. The story with a character most like yourself I’m probably the closest personality wise to how I write Draco. Him in Hermione: a History is probably the closest to my real life humor and personality.

4. The story you would edit most if you had the chance Can I say all of them? My ADHD is so bad that I constantly find typos in every single thing I write. I can’t focus enough to notice them. But if I have to pick one I’d pick. A Quota of Bad Luck. While I totally stand by most of that fic, there’s a little bit of the medical stuff I’d like to adjust now that I’ve had more clinical experience working with dementia.  I’d have also like to have had a couple more scenes between Lucius and Draco in it, but I was on a time crunch for the death fest so I had to push that bad boy out.

5. The story that you would most want to turn into an Original Work A Quota of Bad Lucky is only Harry Potter related if you squint, so that would probably be the easiest one to turn into original fiction and it’s my favorite so I guess it’s that one. 

6. The story that you would most like to experience in real life (i.e., which of your plots would you want to step into?) Give me Gary Johnson’s Johnson Guzzler or give me death.

7. If you were to be gifted a story, what would you want it to entail (listen, we got a lot of fandom birthdays coming up, so let’s leave this here for posterity) Bittersweet smut is my jam. I want it to be extra horny and extra sad at the same time. I need some catharsis with my porn.

8. Your favorite line that you’ve ever written in a fanfic “Sometimes when I kiss her, I think of you. Sometimes when I kiss her, I don’t think of you. I don’t know which one is worse.” From Self-Pity Dealer.

9. The reader response that touched you the most Someone left a comment saying that reading A Quota of Bad Luck helped them grieve the death of a relative which made me cry.

[ravenadottir]

If MC and Lucas are together 10 years later and so on , what do you think their would be life would be like in terms of fluffiness and nsfw?

hi!

i love this so much! i’ve been writing for lucas, and i’ll admit, i never went so far down the road with him. but it’s really seductive to think about it.

for one, lucas is not the type to let the spark lose it’s brightness, so he would be doing everything he can to show how much he loves you and how appreciated you are.

- trips once a month, to several places, to visit friends, and sometimes, just for the two of you. places that became ‘your spot’ like  somewhere in cornwall. a place where the waiters and recepcionists already know you, your orders, preferences and favorites. they call you mr. and mrs. koh, but you to insist on the first name basis.

- candlelights and home made meals at night. home dates where lucas can STILL show off his cooking skills and you can have wine. finishing the date on the couch or in the bedroom. or simply watch a movie after.

- taking you out. that’s always part of lucas’ schedule and he just wants to have fun with you. go out to dance, have a few drinks in a jazz joint, watch a concert from the vip section. (he doesn’t do anything less than that).

- you and lucas will become henrik’s kids’ godparents, which means, lots and lots of visits, gifts you’ll be handing out, and most importantly, lucas and henrik sharing their stories since they became friends.

- get used to the idea of henrik questioning when you guys will be having some little ones, and watch lucas pour himself a scotch and twist his lips before walking away whil rolling his eyes.

- lucas might be more interested in books when he’s older. so maybe a new hobby, onaa quiet night, is to read together on the couch. either a glass of wine, or a cuppa will make you two company. he’s very upbeat, but i don’t think that would be a bad thing for him.

- on the travelling note, i can see him booking tickets to places like the bahamas, bora bora, maui. paradises you can explore together and make lots of memories. in my head, that’s what lucas is all about.

- volunteering is part of the narrative since now. eventually, and i might be trippin’ here, but i see lucas as the type to have a program to help people in need. wither funding the program and staying as the sponsor, or actually having a non-profit organization. something he wants to do later, since now he need to have an estabilished life first.

- a house. right now his apartment has lots of room for you both and your pets. which i don’t think he would be the type of not accepting a dog. (i can see him liking german sheppards even.) but eventually, friends and family coming over will become a habit. he wants people around you, the close brothers and their kids. so a house with two guest bedrooms? yes! a backyeard for them to play and run around, yes! this way he keeps his friends close and you can have parties like i imagine.

- on that party note. PARTIES. lots of it. he might be the type that tells henrik to bring everyone and have a barbecue in the summer. having a drink after the food and playing poker with his closest friends while henrik’s kids, gary’s and bobby’s are running around or playing cards themselves.

I LOVE DOMESTIC LUCAS. 

‘for the non fluffy stuff’

hi!

i love this so much! i’ve been writing for lucas, and i’ll admit, i never went so far down the road with him. but it’s really seductive to think about it.

for one, lucas is not the type to let the spark lose it’s brightness, so he would be doing everything he can to show how much he loves you and how appreciated you are.

- trips once a month, to several places, to visit friends, and sometimes, just for the two of you. places that became ‘your spot’ like somewhere in cornwall. a place where the waiters and receptionists already know you, your orders, preferences and favorites. they call you mr. and mrs. koh, but you insist on the first name basis.

- candlelights and home made meals at night. home dates where lucas can STILL show off his cooking skills and you can have wine. finishing the date on the couch or in the bedroom. or simply watch a movie after.

- taking you out. that’s always part of lucas’ schedule and he just wants to have fun with you. go out to dance, have a few drinks in a jazz joint, watch a concert from the vip section. (he doesn’t do anything less than that).

- you and lucas will become henrik’s kids’ godparents, which means, lots and lots of visits, gifts you’ll be handing out, and most importantly, lucas and henrik sharing their stories since they became friends.

- get used to the idea of henrik questioning when you guys will be having some little ones, and watch lucas pour himself a scotch and twist his lips before walking away while rolling his eyes.

- lucas might be more interested in books when he’s older. so maybe a new hobby, onaa quiet night, is to read together on the couch. either a glass of wine, or a cuppa will make you two company. he’s very upbeat, but i don’t think that would be a bad thing for him.

- on the travelling note, i can see him booking tickets to places like the bahamas, bora bora, maui. paradises you can explore together and make lots of memories. in my head, that’s what lucas is all about.

- volunteering is part of the narrative since now. eventually, and i might be trippin’ here, but i see lucas as the type to have a program to help people in need. whether funding the program and staying as the sponsor, or actually having a non-profit organization. something he wants to do later, since now he need to have an established life first.

- a house. right now his apartment has lots of room for you both and your pets. which i don’t think he would be the type of not accepting a dog. (i can see him liking german shepherds even.) but eventually, friends and family coming over will become a habit. he wants people around you, the close brothers and their kids. so a house with two guest bedrooms? yes! a backyard for them to play and run around, yes! this way he keeps his friends close and you can have parties like i imagine.

- on that party note. PARTIES. lots of it. he might be the type that tells henrik to bring everyone and have a barbecue in the summer. having a drink after the food and playing poker with his closest friends while henrik’s kids, gary’s and bobby’s are running around or playing cards themselves.

I LOVE DOMESTIC LUCAS.

‘for the non fluffy stuff’

- lucas has always been open minded and i reckon time only gets that going even more. his practises with bdsm might’ve evolved a bit, among other things you want to try. i really think role play might have a top spot in his list. something involving cops perhaps. and yes, he has a pair of aviators… *clears throat* anywayyyyyy.

- mr. koh loves giving you things. more of the meaningful category and something that you’ll use/wear/eat/enjoy quite a bit. don’t be surprised if one day he hands you a small box, and inside there’s a golden edition of a vibrator. he’s just a little unpredictable and likes seeing the look on your face. more than that, he can’t wait to use it.

- things will always change with age. lucas won’t stay the same forever. but giving you what you want, and getting what he deserves will be always part of his plans. he’ll be open to new things and i don’t think that would ever change.

- sometimes he’s not gonna pull all the stops. not everything is about that old razzle dazzle’. it’s about the connection you still share after so long. sometimes it’s about having you because he loves you. and that’s it.

- he might want to try viagra. for fun! it’s not that he needs it at 37+, but lucas can be a crackhead sometimes. i can picture him saying it to see his girl’s reaction. if she’s down, he’s down. it’s one of those “haha, kidding, unless 👀“

sorry for the lack of non fluffy here. it’s kinda hard to imagine something i haven’t been through. and lucas’ age contributes for my lack of understanding in this scenario.

[majingojira]

Brief Review of Every Dinosaur/Prehistoric Documentary/Educational Short I’ve ever seen (1923-1996).

And thanks to a certain project, I’ve seen a LOT! 

Evolution (1923) - This is the oldest of the bunch, a silent film.  Mostly it uses modern animals to represent ancient forms, with a few statues and brief animated bits to fill things out. The only real highlight?  Seeing where some of the “film real” segment from Gigantis the Fire Monster comes from! 

Monsters from the Past (1923) - A short documentary with original stop motion (this was pre-The Lost World, so that’s to be expected).  Triceratops, Tyrannosaurus, and Brontosaurus are the key creatures. Included as an extra on the second DVD release of The Lost World. 

Prehistoric Animals (1938) - Reuses footage from The Lost World (1925) for its prehistoric segments. This will not be the last time it happens. 

Prehistoric Times: The World Before Man (1952) - This thing is so quintessentially 1950s, it’s highly riff-able.  It uses a mix of paintings, sculptures and some live animals to represent prehistoric life.  

A World Is Born (1955) - Ya know what Fantasia needed?  Overbearing Narration! That’s it.  That’s what this documentary is.  I saw this thing rebroadcast in the 90s on the Disney Channel, believe it or not. 

The Animal World (1956) - Ray Harryhausen.  Willis O’Brian. Their stop motion segment is the ONLY notable part of this documentary.  This is also the only part that has seen some release in modern times, as a bonus feature on the DVD of The Black Scorpion.  

Prehistoric Animals of the Tar Pits (1956) - Black and white, but also quintessentially 50s and riff-able.  Aside from the bones, it shows some wooden models to represent the animals. 

Journey into Time (1960) - Fantasia this is not, but it TRIES to be.  Lord it tries.  Or, rather, there’s a Fantasia-adjacent thing elsewhere which does the same thing.  Has some unique choices for animals to represent, including showing Permian forms like Scutusaurus and Inostrancevia. 

Dem Dry Bones: Archaeology, Paleontology, Identification, and Preservation (1966) - This was a lucky find, it was on Youtube for half a second.  And not worth digging out, really.  Stuffy, dry, and mildly condescending.  It was still interesting looking at the dinosaur hall of the Smithsonian back in the 1950s. 

Dinosaurs - The Terrible Lizard (1970) - The stop motion here is pretty neat, if slow and plodding, it’s refreshing after all this crap. The puppets for many of these would later be re-used for The Land of the Lost.  Including Grumpy, Alice, and Spot. 

NOVA: The Hot-Blooded Dinosaurs (1977) - Robert Bakker’s first appearance in a documentary.  HE HAS SUCH LONG HAIR!  Not bad, a little dry, with National Geographic titles.  It reminds me of 1990s documentaries, just so show how long it’s taken for various ideas to filter down.  Currently, it’s available on Archive.org. 

Dinosaurs: A First Film (1978) - The art style for this half-animated 70s abomination makes identifying various prehistoric animals almost impossible.  Almost painful to sit through. Stops with the Dinosaurs. 

Dinosaurs: The Age of the Terrible Lizards (1978) - Similar to the above, but available from Rifftrax, so much more watchable.  Also, it’s actually animated!

Dinosaur (1980) - Wil Vinton Claymation with Dinosaurs.  A few edits of this exist, the latter works a bit better, but the original is interesting to track down. Most of the edits are audio only, so you aren’t missing anything.  The dinosaur sin this are top notch for color and design.  They even have Corythosaurus and Tyrannosaurus not dragging their tails! 

Cosmos (1980) - the animated segment covering Evolution is still wonderful if only for the narration from Carl Sagan. 

The Age of Mammals (1981) - A follow up of sorts to Dinosaurs: The Age of Reptiles.  Decent stop motion if a little slow.  Decent variety for the time. 

64,000,000 Years Ago (1981) - A solid stop motion short film.  Still worth checking out for stop motion fans.  Available on Youtube legally! 

Dinosaurs: Fun, Facts, and Fantasy (1981) - Nostalgic for some, but aimed at a rather young audience.  Some interesting stop motion bits in here too... if awkward in that way British stop motion can be outside Aardman Studios. 

Reading Rainbow “Digging up Dinosaurs” (1983) - Definitely nostalgic for me.  Besides, it’s Reading Rainbow!  And opens with a clip from One Million Years B.C.!  What’s not to love?

Prehistoric Beast (1984) - One of the best stop motion shorts on this list.  Included because it INSPIRED a documentary from it.  Phil Tippett firing on all cylinders.  Well worth watching.  And he uploaded it on Youtube himself! 

Dinosaurs, Dinosaurs, Dinosaurs (1985), More Dinosaurs (1985), Son of Dinosaur (1988),  Prehistoric World (1993) - Gary Owens and Eric Boardman have a series of documentaries on dinosaurs and prehistoric life.  The presenters are what really make these work. Colorful, fun, and yes, silly, these still hold a nostalgic gleam for people like me.  The last one has Dougal Dixon talk about his After Man speculations.  Fun times. 

Dinosaur! (1985) - Hosted by Christopher Reeve, this is one of the best documentaries of its time.  Reeves loved dinosaurs and was happy to work on this project with Phil Tippet behind the animation.  Covers a lot in its hour long format, and well worth watching.  Do you know how good this special was?  When Reeve died in 2004, the Discovery Channel (or similar station) re-aired this thing as a tribute.  It holds up that well! 

Tell Me Why: Pre-Historic Animals, Reptiles and Amphibians (1986) - This is something I had when I was a little kid.  Dry, straight forward, a “Video Babysitter” at it’s best. It consists of a narrator while looking at pictures of the Invicta Dinosaur Toys that were also on the poster. 

Dinosaurs! A Fun-Filled Trip Back in Time (1987) - Wil Vinton’s Dinosaurs! tied with a short setup/framing device with the kid from the Wonder Years involving a low-animation music video (this was the MTV age) and a guide through art from various dinosaur books from the 1950s through the 1980s.  Rather meh, but Wil Vinton is why we are here.  This was the only way to get Wil Vinton’s short back in the day, and is the version of the short shown in Museums like The Academy of Natural Sciences.  

Digging Dinosaurs (PBS-WHYY) (1988) - Something I managed to record of TV back in the day, though not much of it, about the uncovering and preparation of Avaceratops. Bone Dry. 

Maia: A Dinosaur Grows Up (1988) - A VHS version of the picture book, with narration and the whole spiel.  Actually not to bad for what it is, but it is what it is.  The art for that book is rather wonderful. 

Lost Worlds, Vanished Lives (1988) - David.  Attenburrough. Need I say more?  Not one of his best, but still wonderful. Hard to track down.  

Dinosaurs (1989) - From the Smithsonian Institute, one of the video followups sold in various museums (I have one from the Royal Tyrell, but haven’t been able to track it down).  Not great, but I’ve seen worse. 

Infinite Voyage: The Great Dinosaur Hunt (1989) - A rather dry documentary, but one I find extremely relaxing and calming.  Very nostalgic for me.  But still dry. 

Vestie Video Sitter: Dinosaurs (1989) - This is for babies. It hurt to watch. 

In November, 1990, Jurassic Park (novel) was released, and thus began the great shift. 

In Search of the Dragon: The Great Dinosaur Hunt of the Century (1991) - a.k.a. The Dinosaur Project, The Great Dinosaur Hunt, The Hunt for China’s Dinosaurs.  Edited into a 1 hour NOVA special from a nearly two hour documentary, all about the joint Canadian/Chinese Gobi Desert Expedition in the 1980s that gave us Mamenchisaurus among many other species.  With another stop in the Arctic for good measure.  Some good stop motion and pencil animation for Troodon round this one out. 

A&E’s Dinosuar! (1991) - There’s so many things named “Dinosaur” that I have to specify.  Hosted by Walter Cronkite, this is rather dry, but still entertaining documentary series has some nightmare-fuel puppet-work.  The ‘sad’ music gets caught in my head sometimes when I think about it.  It is 4 episodes long.  “The Tale of a Tooth”, “The Tale of a Bone”, “The Tale of an Egg”, and “The Tale of a Feather”

T. Rex: Exposed (1991) - a Nova Documentary on T. Rex.  Not too bad overall, focusing on the Wrankle Rex unearthing. Parts of it are available on Youtube, but not all of it.  

The Case of the Flying Dinosaur (1991) - the third in the “NOVA” 91 trilogy, this covers the bird-dinosaur connection as it was still contentious at the time. 

PBS’ The Dinosaurs! (1992) - A gold standard for documentaries on dinosaurs. The hand drawn animation with colored pencil style still hold up today. The narrator has a bit of an accent and pronounces “Dinosaur” oddly, but that is the only complaint I can really give. It has 4 episodes: “The Monsters Emerge”, “Flesh on the Bones”, “The Nature of the Beast”, “Death of the Dinosaurs.”

Muttaburrasaurus: Life in Gondwana (1993) - A half-hour short about dinosuars and mesozoic life in Australia. Solid stop motion animation. Australian Accents makes it fun to listen too.

NOVA: The Real Jurassic Park (1993) - Jeff Goldblum narrates this bit of scientists going on about “But what if we really did it?” Quite fun, lotta fun details the movies and even the books didn’t get into. My favorite bit had Robert Bakker talking to a game keeper at the Rockefeller Refuge in a Louisiana Cypress Swamp about what could happen if they kept a few dinosaur there (Edmontosaurus, Triceratops, and T. Rex).  Namely, he talks about housing ‘about a thousand” Edmontosaurs on the 86K acre facility, with 2 or 3 mated pairs of Rexes.  It’s fun getting numbers like that. 

Bill Nye the Science Guy “Dinosaurs” (1993) - BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL!  Not a bad kids entry for documentaries. Available from Netflix. 

Paleoworld (1994-1997) - Running originally for 4 years, and being revamps once along the way, this rather dry, “Zoom in on paleoart” style of documentary was a good holdover for bigger things, and covered some pretty niche topics.  Much of the later version has been uploaded to youtube. 

Dinosaur Digs: A Fossil Finders Tour (1994), Dinosaurs: Next Exit (1994) - These films hurt me.  They hurt me so much.  I’ve seen some painful things, but these are hour long tour advertisements for road trips with annoyingly earworms.  Available on youtube, but I ain’t linking anything! 

Eyewitness: Dinosaur (1994) - Not a bad documentary, but I still hold a grudge on it for replacing Wil Vinton’s work at my local museum! Still, it is narrated by Martin Sheen. The clip selection is wide and varied, but we’re still getting The Lost World (1925) footage. 

Planet of Life (1995) - This documentary series is rather dry, but boasts some interesting coverage of topics.  Though some of it’s conclusions regarding dinosaurs are... not great.  Still, the episode “Ancient Oceans” is a favorite of mine. 

Once Upon Australia (1995) - The bests stop motion documentary on Australia’s prehistory. Has some humor to is, and Australian fauna that it does cover is solid.  Though finding out how one of the animals is spelled, ( Ngapakaldia) drove me nuts for literally decades. 

Dinosaurs: Myths and Reality (1995) - Like a little more polished episode of Paleoworld, with a lighter-voiced narration, this covers common myths about dinosaurs. Overall, a Meh.  But it has a LOT of movie clips. Which makes sense given it was funded by the Disney Channel! 

The Ultimate Guide: T. Rex (1995) - The Ultimate Guide series of docs were overall rather solid, as was the Tyrannosaurus one.  Stop Motion animation along with puppets and some minor CG help round out the normal talking heads and skeleton mounts.  Along with a solid narrator, it has a real mood to it.  

The Magic School Bus “The Busasaurus” (1995) - The original Magic School Bus was a solid series, and their episode on Dinosaurs bucks trends even the reboot didn’t cover.  The core thrust here wasn’t just dinosaur information, but the idea that Dinosaurs were not Monsters, but animals.  And they conveyed it in a unique way.  

I may do more of these mini-reviews, but there are a LOT of documentaries post The Lost World: Jurassic Park that don’t have as much easy access.  Like, I’ve seen them, but digging out links/citing places to watch them is a lot harder. 

[mylifeincinema]

My Best of 2020: Non-2020 Films

My Best of 2020 is a series of annual lists in which I pick the best of the best from 2020, all leading up to my official picks for My Top 10 Films of 2020.

I didn’t see as many new non-2020 films as I would have liked, as I gravitated toward books from late-April on. But I did catch some gems, and finally ‘discovered’ two Studio Ghibli masterpieces.

1. The Fabulous Baron Munchausen (Karel Zeman, 1962)

Holy. Shit. An absolute masterpiece. Never anything less than visually stunning, and always every bit as bizarre as it is funny as it is exciting.

2. Spirited Away (Hayao Miyazaki, 2001)

Clearly, Miyazaki’s imagination knows no bounds. The world-building, mythology and sense of wonder here is insane. What a beautifully realized, thoroughly enjoyable piece of cinema.

3. My Neighbor Totoro (Hayao Miyazaki, 1988)

A virtual tie with Spirited Away, becuase it’s just as perfect, and they’re both Straight. F*cking. Magic.

4. Stop Making Sense (Jonathan Demme, 1984)

How do you spell Talking Heads?? A-R-T.

5. Tucker: The Man and His Dream (Francis Ford Coppola, 1988)

‘Don’t get too close to people, you’ll catch their dreams… ’

Fantastic! It surely doesn’t hurt that I love a good David v Goliath tale, but Coppola brings this one to life with such creativity and playfulness, and the cinematography and production design are breathtaking. Then you have Jeff Bridges and Martin Landau, whose performances are overflowing with whimsy and heart. It all comes together to form a beautiful piece about dreams.

6. The Thin Man (W.S. Van Dyke, 1934)

A ton of fun…

William Powell and Myrna Loy are incredible together. The screenplay is clever and witty and lightning fast. And the direction understands the balance between screwball comedy and mystery, showcasing both the phenomenal writing and our perfect leads without ever letting things lose control or get too messy/silly (when they’re not supposed to be).

7. Chocolat (Lasse Hallström, 2000)

Absolutely delightful. Juliette Binoche is magical.

8. Mr. Deeds Goes to Town (Frank Capra, 1936)

Damn. What a crowd-pleaser. Gary Cooper is perfection as the pixilated Longfellow Deeds. And the screenplay and Capra’s direction blend perfectly to tell a heartwarming story about how a man’s worth doesn’t come from his bank account, but from his heart. Much like some of Capra’s other crowd-pleasers, mainly It’s a Wonderful Life and Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, this one effortlessly works its way into the heart of its viewer to make them want to cheer upon its ending.

9. Magnolia (Paul Thomas Anderson, 1999)

A masterpiece of a mosaic. PTA’s Magnolia is a masterclass in not only screenwriting, but also editing and directing. PTA works us through this day-in-the-life, everything is connected tale in a way that throws us for a loop while never losing us in the complexities of it all.

10. Doctor Sleep: Director’s Cut (Mike Flanagan, 2019)

I never wanted a sequel to The Shining. It’s a perfect film, and in a separate and entirely different way, it’s a perfect novel. I haven’t read Doctor Sleep (I have read it, now, and also loved it... even more so than the film.), and I skipped this in the cinemas because ::shrugs:: it just didn’t look like something I needed in my life.

I was wrong.

Enjoy!

-Timothy Patrick Boyer.

Next Up: Assorted (Animated Feature, Foreign Film, Editing, Screenplay, Etc.) - Coming Next Week!

More of My Best of 2020…

[amphibious-thing]

do you know any books or movies to learn more abt d’eon? she seems rlly interesting but other than ur blog i can’t rlly find anything on her

Of course! I’m glad to see people wanting to learn more about d’Eon!

D’Eon has been portrayed in numerous fictional works in varying degrees of accuracy, including films, plays, video games and even an anime. There are two movies loosely based on d’Eon that I know of; Spy of Madame Pompadour a 1928 German film, which I haven’t been able to find a copy of and Le secret du Chevalier d'Eon a 1959 French-Italian film, there is a copy of this one on Youtube but unfortunately it doesn't have English subtitles so I haven’t seen this one either. None of these works seem to be particularly concerned with historical accuracy tho so I’d recommend going for a book or podcast if you would like to learn more about her.

Unfortunately there aren't really any perfect books on d’Eon, none that I’ve read really handle her gender well and almost all academics use he/him pronouns which seems like the wrong choice based on what we know about her. There are also actually a lot of books on her, so I’m happy to run through the ones I’ve read for you but I certainly haven’t read all of them.

Monsieur d'Eon Is a Woman

by Gary Kates

Kates seems to be considered somewhat of an English language expert on d’Eon, so this is the book you will probably see referred to the most, but it was published in 1995 and it shows.

Pros

Well researched.

Probably the most in-depth book on this list.

Pretty good in regards to d’Eon’s career/politics/historical context ect.

Cons

Isn't great when it comes to gender or sexuality.

Uses he/him pronouns throughout.

Skims over her relationship with Beaumarchais for some reason.

The Maiden of Tonnerre

by the Chevalière d’Eon translated by Roland A. Champagne, Nina Ekstein, and Gary Kates

Not to be mistaken with The Memoirs of Chevalier d'Eon translated by Antonia White, this is a translation of d’Eon’s unfinished autobiography. I highly recommend reading this one. However it should be noted that d’Eon wrote this for a public that believed her to be afab so some parts of it are just completely made up, and it can be difficult to differentiate between fact and fiction. So while I do recommend this book, it’s probably good to read one of the other books first.

Pros

Written by d’Eon.

Very interesting read!

Cons

Not very accurate.

She has some not great opinions on things (mostly Judaism and sex).

D'Eon de Beaumont, His Life and Times

by Octave Homberg & Fernand Jousselin, translated by Alfred Rieu

This is one I’ve just finished reading, it’s a 1911 translation of Un Aventurier Au Xviiie Siècle: Le Chevalier d'Éon a 1904 French book. I considered leaving this one out but I have read it so I’ll give you some pros and cons.

Pros

Includes some details that are left out of some of the more recent books.

It’s out of copyright so its pretty easy to find a free copy.

Cons

Old book so unsurprisingly pretty terrible on gender and sexuality.

Mostly uses he/him pronouns (they do occasionally use she/her pronouns tho).

While the French edition does seem to cite their sources the English edition didn’t included them for some reason.

Unlikely Allies

by Joel Richard Paul

This is actually the first book on d’Eon I read, unlike the previous books this one isn't specifically about d’Eon, its about the events leading to the French decision to ally themselves with the Americans during the American Revolutionary War. The book focuses on three historical figures, Silas Deane, Pierre Beaumarchais and the Chevalière d’Eon.

Pros

Entertaining read, I legit laughed out loud while reading this one.

Ben Franklin conducting diplomatic meetings in a gay bathhouse (yes this needed a dot point of its own).

If you’re already interested in the American Revolution (which I know a lot of my followers are) this could be a good book to start with.

Cons

It’s a bit sensationalistic at times (including in regards to d’Eon’s gender).

It’s not d’Eon centric so if thats what your looking for this probably isn’t it.

I get the impression that Paul thinks Deane is the most interesting of the three for some reason.

Queer as Fact

So this is a podcast rather than a book, @queerasfact have done a two part episode [one | two] on d’Eon, which is by far the most queer friendly thing on this list.

Pros

Actually good discussions about d’Eon’s gender and sexuality.

A pretty good summary of her life.

Explains why Kates is wrong.

Cons

Not as in-depth as some of the other things on this list.

Hopefully this helps, good luck researching d’Eon!

[365days365movies]

January 23, 2021: The Fast and the Furious (Epilogue)

So, this movie was FAR different from the most recent entry in the franchise, not that I’m complaining! Not the greatest movie in the world, but I did still like it! So, OK, how’d it do in my little rubric? Shall we? 

Review

Cast and Acting

This is the role that Vin Diesel’s best known for, and I will argue that it was the role he was born to play. It ain’t Brando from On the Waterfront or anything, but it’s definitely a Diesel role. And honestly, he feels far more genuine than he does in the last movie. Paul Walker also plays the pretty-boy undercover cop role well enough, although, again, it ain’t Dean in Rebel Without a Cause (I assume, I haven’t seen it yet). But, yeah, for an unercover cop “gone native,” he serves his role well. And everybody else? I mean...yeah. They’re cool, I guess. Jordana Brewster is the only one amongst them that really stands out, because she also plays her role well as conflicted little sister. Look, what I’m saying is...you get what you expect here. The performances are never really distracting, but they aren’t Oscar-worthy either. So...6/10? Serviceable, but not stellar.

Plot and Writing

It’s Point Break. That’s the plot. It’s Point Break with cars instead of surfing. Yyyyyyup. Nothing for to see here, move along folks. That said, though, I really like Point Break, so I’m not complaining. This just isn’t an original plot, Gary Scott Thompson, Erik Bergquist, and...David Ayer. Like, Suicide Squad David Ayer? Huh. Y’know, actually, that makes sense. This movie is kinda Suicide Squad-y. But, yeah, not the most original plot, although still entertaining. As for the writing? It’s fine, not overly dramatic or inefficiently superfluous. It sits solidly in the average, to be honest. So, for this category, another 5/10.

Directing and Action

Absolutely the star, at least in terms of the action. The driving sequences in this movie are absolutely stellar, and credit to the many stunt drivers who most certainly worked on this movie. They don’t have quite the same bombast that the franchise showcases these days, but they’re certainly still entertaining! How about the direction at large, though? Again, this was fine. Still learning how to properly judge direction, but it’s not much to write home about, other than the action sequences. Rob Cohen, you did well, even though it’s not the best directing I’ve ever seen. Still, 7/10 ain’t bad.

Production and Art Design

Set and filmed in the ever-enigmatic Los Angeles, this movie’s look is surprisingly memorable. They take advantage of the setting appropriately, and it all looks good. And, of course, the cars! The cars look fantastic, seriously. Understandably, they take the cake here. Not to mention the time-period authentic costumes and the general 2001 atmosphere here, and this category gets some good scores! 8/10!  

Music and Editing

Ja Rule not only makes a cameo for this movie, but also sings its end credits song which is OK. But, outside of the guest songs, this movie’s soundtrack comes in two parts, LITERALLY. It’s so large, two albums were released for it. The first contains songs by Ja Rule, Armageddon, Ashanti, Black Child, Boo $Gotti, Caddillac Tah, DMX, Faith Evans, Fat Joe, Funkmaster Flex, Limp Bizkit, Method Man, Nate Dogg, N.O.R.E, O-1, Petey Pablo, Redman, R. Kelly, Scarface, Shade Sheist, Tank, and Vita. YEAH. YEAH. These mostly play in the credits, and form the backbone of the diegetic background music. As for the non-diegetic score, you’re headed towards the second soundtrack album, which contains songs from Saliva, Injected, Hoobastank, Primer 55, Machine Head, Roni Sie, Digital Assassins, Greenwheel, Benny Cassette, Molotov, and FINALLY, the film’s ACTUAL COMPOSER, Brian Wayne Transeau, better known as BT. And in case you’re wondering...it’s good music, and while it isn’t my personal taste, it’s definitely playlist download worthy. I mean, look at that LIST; somebody good’s in there. So, high marks for this one.

As for editing, there are some fantastic shots here, and the composition of the movie doesn’t drag...too much. It does drag a little bit, but it isn’t too bad. So, with all of this taken into account, let’s give this one a 7/10. A lot of effort went into this movie’s music, and it deserves it for that.

At a 66%, this isn’t exactly a crown jewel. BUT...

It is still a lot of fun! I understand why a franchise was made of this film, and I’m tempted to watch the rest of these at some point. We’ll see what happens there.

For now, though, I’ve got one more day of Car Action Weekend left! So, let’s finish it off with a movie that’s good? Bad? the reaction is mixed, but I’ll be making my own decision on this one, obviously. Go, go, go...

[such-a-melt]

➳boys’ choice

Pairing: Bobby x mc

Summary: Bobby gives a heart warming speech, and in doing so realises just how much you mean to him.

Warnings: so much sugary sweet fluff you might get diabetes

Note: I literally just can’t wait until Monday Tuesday so here’s the recoupling. Also please excuse me if my writing is shitty. I finished highscool and have been on a two month holiday, so I have literally not picked up a pen this whole time. My iq is slowly dropping as the summer progresses and it’ll take a while for me to get back into writing anything decent. Tbh I’m really nervous to post this because I know it isn’t my best work but I’m gonna suck it up and hope for the best🤷🏻‍♀️

Edit: lmfao so after replaying the game I realised the public vote was for a girl, but I’m an idiot and misunderstood, thinking the public was just voting for an islander out of all of them. Point is I’m stupid and this fic isn’t completely accurate but oh well.

If your heart was beating any faster, you’re sure it would break its way through your ribs and jump out of your chest, exposing your nerves to the islanders surrounding you. You had all gathered at the fire pit, waiting for the text that would tell you who the public had chosen to go first. Chelsea started chatting to you, but her words barely processed in you brain. She was trying to convince you that everything would work out, and bless her soul, she had good intentions, but her speech wasn’t what you needed in that moment. You were too distracted by the situation at hand.

You hoped it would be Bobby, hoped the public could see just how much you care about each other. If all went well tonight, Bobby would be picked first, he’d couple up with you, and Elijah would finally accept the fact that you only saved him for Chelsea.

The chiming of a phone caught your attention, pulling you out of your daydream and effectively silencing the idle chatter.

“I’ve got a text,” Gary spoke, a rare queasiness in his voice. He lifted his phone and read it out. “Islanders, the public have voted on who should choose first. The boy with the most votes is..” he paused, waiting for the second text. The silence felt like it was tearing you apart, the air held such a pressure you thought you would implode. You focused on your breathing, attempting to calm your beating heart. The second chime rung out, and you felt like you were gonna throw up.

“Bobby.”

A shaky breath made its way out, and you were overcome with relief. Finally. You would finally get to be with Bobby again, no one stood in your way. No Elijah, no Lucas, no new boys. Blissfully, you bit your lip to stop the smile taking over your face. It was evident the other islanders shared your emotions when they all smirked at you, knowing exactly how this would turn out.

Giddy with excitement, Bobby stood up. When you looked up at him, his eyes were already fixed on you, and you noticed just how ethereal he looked in the dim light of the fire. His warm smile was contagious, and you couldn’t help but grin in return. The looks you were giving each other were worth more than a million words; the sheer affection you had for him made you lightheaded. You could barely believe you’d finally get to be together again.

“I want to couple up with this girl because she’s just perfect to me,” Bobby started, wasting no time, “she’s hilarious even when she doesn’t want to be; understanding; and sweeter than a cupcake,” he grinned, a blush blooming across his cheeks. “She always knows just what to say. She understands me like no one else does, and even if we’ve only really known each other for weeks, I can honestly say I’ve fallen head over heels for her.” His blush is so deep you can barely see his freckles. Your gaze never leaves his, and the raw emotion in his eyes makes you weak in the knees. For a second you wonder, are you the only one that understands that look? Do the girls next to you understand what he means when he looks at you like that?

He had trouble opening up, but when he did, it made you feel like you didn’t deserve him. Vulnerable moments like these, where he bared his soul and the rest of the world faded away, made you believe you had really found the one.

“So the girl I want to couple up with is...” He said your name with such confidence, and you couldn’t help but run towards him. His arms were open, so ready, and he wrapped you in a hug so warm and comforting you never wanted to let go. You squealed when his embrace lifted you off the ground, and he parted away only to connect your lips in the sweetest, most tender kiss he had ever give you. The raw emotion he poured into the one kiss made your head spin, your hands shaking as they grasped his shoulders. Bobby pulled away, knowing that if the kiss lasted any longer the two of you would never hear the end of it. With the cheers of the other islanders in the background, he pulled you to sit next to him, wrapping an arm around your waist. You leaned into his touch, the warmth of his body and the smell of his cologne comforting you as the next boy’s speech faded into background noise.

The recoupling went by smoothly, and unlike the last few days, you could confidently say everyone was happy in their couples. With everyone’s nerves finally calming down, the islanders erupted into chatter and you turned to Bobby, a smirk plastered on your lips. You poked his cheek with your finger, and he turned to you with a small smile.

“Wanna go to the rooftop?” He asked softly, that vulnerable look returning to his eyes.

“Of course babes,” you kissed his cheek and got up, fingers interlocked with his. You pulled him along, a bit too eager to get away from everyone else.

The two of you walked side by side, his pace matching yours. Conversation seemed to fall naturally as you approached the rooftop and sat amongst the soft pillows. The two of you gazed up at the stars, enjoying each other’s presence.

“I can’t believe the public voted for you,” You say, a little too excited. Bobby smiled, raising an eyebrow, “I can. Who wouldn’t vote for the funniest, most handsome..”

“And humble,” you teased, happy to see that perfect smile adorn his face.

“The humblest.”

You held his hand, happy to be in his company, but your smile faltered. Bobby noticed almost immediately and squeezed your hand.

“What is it?” Bobby asks, the sudden change in your demeanour worrying him.

“For a second, I was convinced I’d be stuck with Elijah again. I don’t think I’d stand another day in a couple with him.”

Bobby frowns, “Really? He seems like a nice lad. I didn’t know you felt that way.”

“Don’t get me wrong, he’s alright. He just..” you sigh, “he can’t take a hint for the life of him. When I saved him I told him it would be a friendship couple, but I guess he just hoped something more would happen.”

“Wow..” Bobby whistled, and although he’d never admit it, an uneasiness settled in his stomach, “I wish I knew sooner. I really thought you had gotten close to him. And then the two of you got chosen to make dinner together..”

You couldn’t help but laugh, “oh my god, that was the worst. He kept asking me about kitchen bits and those aprons with ‘kiss the cook’ written on them. All I wanted to do was finish dinner,” you paused, smiling up at him, “I wish it was you instead of him. At least then we would’ve gotten dessert too.”

He laughed, but you could tell something was on his mind.

“What, no cheesy joke?” You giggled, only to stop when he didn’t reply. Your smile immediately fell, and you turned to face him fully, raising your hand to cup his cheek. He nuzzled into your hand, a soft smile adorning his lips, “hey.. I know that look,” you teased, “someone’s overthinking. what’s wrong?”

He hesitated, breathing in deeply before taking your hand in his, “nothing. It’s just that..” he looked down and blushed with a shyness so out of character for him, “I just.. realised something. I don’t wanna scare you off or anything,” he laughed nervously, “and I promised I’d never let myself be vulnerable after what happened with my ex. But with you it comes so naturally. Everything I said earlier, I meant it. And I know we haven’t known each other for a long time, but..”

He met your eyes, the small smile on your face encouraging him.

“MC, I think I love you.” He breathed out. He was waiting for you to freak out, or to walk away completely, but you didn’t. You leaned forward, pecking his lips softly, and you felt him smile into the kiss. Your heart swelled up with emotion at the sound of the three words. His hands felt like clouds as they caressed your arms and you felt like you could crumble apart between his fingers. The villa faded into nothing as you kissed, and in that perfect moment you were convinced the world was made for the two of you.

“I love you too, Bobby,” you whispered softly.

[passionate-reply]

1, 6, 23, 24

1. WHAT SONG, OFF AN OTHERWISE POPULAR ALBUM, DO YOU THINK MORE PEOPLE NEED TO HEAR?

KRAFTWERK - “METAL ON METAL”

On the US edition of this release, which is the one I own, this is one big seven-minute track, but in other regions it’s separated into two: the first two minutes, as “Metal on Metal,” and the latter five as “Abzug,” which I’m told refers to what we might call the particular stop on a train in English. While people tend to gush about Trans-Europe Express, especially as an album, this is far and away my single favourite thing about it, and it doesn’t seem to get a ton of attention. Being a rivethead, I’m of course rather biased here, but I’m utterly obsessed with the clanging industrial percussion and the blasts of steam! It evokes the clatter and commotion of a train station perfectly, and at any given moment, the opening percussion is probably stuck in my head to some extent. It just might be my favourite thing in the entire Kraftwerk catalogue.

6. WHEN SOMEONE ASKS YOU FOR A MUSIC RECOMMENDATION, WHAT ARTISTS DO YOU SAY?

Well, I’m a big believer in context! I would almost always ask a few qualifying questions to try and give a good recommendation...but I guess if I absolutely had to recommend a music artist to somebody completely cold? I’d go with my main man, John Foxx I suppose. Partly because I just love him that much and am consistently blown away by his work. But also partly because he’s a bit under the radar and a lot of people probably haven’t heard of him.

23. WHAT ARTIST CAN YOU ABSOLUTELY NOT STAND?

Well, I can’t stand music that isn’t electronic very much at all, but you probably already knew that, right? I wouldn’t want to rag too hard on anybody in particular, though, because I think that’s a bit like saying The Tale of Genji is a lousy book just because I don’t know Japanese. I think it would be more interesting if I picked some artist who’s actually kind of adjacent to what I usually listen to and talk about here, and annoys me in kind of an irrational manner. Let’s go with Radiohead/Thom Yorke.

People are always gushing over Radiohead in, ehhh, more mainstream discussion of music. Maybe it really is experimental and groundbreaking, in context, for people who come from that very rock-centric background, and they haven’t heard anything quite like it. But as much as I like “experimental electronic music,” to me that means stuff like Neubauten, Cabaret Voltaire, and Throbbing Gristle, and it has for a while, so I’m not terribly impressed by this stuff. It seems like rock music with a little electronics mixed in just for shock value, and I don’t find much to sink my teeth into. Plus, holy crap is that guy’s voice annoying. I love a lot of vocalists who can’t or don’t sing in a conventional, technically-proper style, but something about Yorke’s meandering whine just really grates on me. Sorry!

24. WHAT ARTIST DO YOU THINK INFLUENCED YOUR STYLE THE MOST?

Hmmm, interesting question. I guess you could say my taste revolves mostly around two major poles. I like a lot of relatively accessible, poppy synth music, but I also like a lot of gothy industrial stuff these days. I guess the artist who most clearly bridges the gap and helped me get from point A to point B over the years was Gary Numan. I guess I already talk about him a lot, but suffice to say he’s done quite a lot of different things over the years, and I love just about all of them.

Thanks for the inbox! Hope you’re enjoying Tumblr again--lord knows I love seeing you. <3