#haven’t drawn skate in a WHILE

[kaleiidoskope]

oh yea hoverboard i drew for @identitycrysys for that one time we didn’t hate each other

on a side note i might change my blog name idk

[toasttt11]

sad

September 19, 2019

Hayden nodded to what the coaches were saying and then what Connor was saying to the team from where she sat at her stall. Hayden stall was next to Connor and the stall was the same one her father use to use.

Hayden followed the team onto the ice for her first preseason game, she genuinely smiled for the first time since she got in to Edmonton once she saw Quinn on the ice.

Hayden and Quinn get to play their first preseason against each other and Hayden’s first NHL game she gets to play against Quinn too.

Quinn looked over as he heard the Oilers getting on the ice and smiled seeing Hayden on the ice and skating towards him.

Quinn skated right to her and pulled his sister into a tight hug and they both let out happy sighs as they hugged each other.

Unfortunately Quinn had came right off the plane to the game and would be going right back to Vancouver after the game so he didn’t get to see Hayden besides on the ice.

“I missed you.” Hayden softly whispered making Quinn squeeze her tighter before they reluctant pulled away, “I missed you too.” Quinn told her back softly.

An Oilers photographer asked for a picture and they leaned against each other and smiled at the camera.

Leon and Connor shared a look noticing how happy Hayden looks around Quinn and it’s the happiest they have seen her in the past two weeks. They haven’t seen her smile until right now.

Hayden and Quinn shared a look before skating off to their own benches and focusing on their own games.

Hayden managed to score the only goal for the Oiler’s but Vancouver scored six so the Oilers had lost.

Hayden honestly didn’t even care about the loss just because she was so happy seeing Quinn.

Hayden luckily got out of media as it was her first game and the veteran’s took the media instead. She showered and changed back into her white dress pants and navy blue long sleeve.

Hayden was sitting at her stall brushing out her wet hair already feeling little pieces of her hair curling and wanting to put it up.

“Hey.” Connor softly spoke as he came back from the shower and sat down next to her in his stall.

“Hi.” Hayden mumbled back her eyes flickering over to Connor to let him know she was listening.

“You played a damn good game today.” Connor honestly praised her, since the moment he got to watch her step on to the ice and they practiced together she has just continued to surprise him with her skill and how amazing of a player she already is at 18. She was quick and she didn’t let anyone knock into her or shove her around, she held her ground well.

Connor could not wait to see what Hayden will do in the NHL and he is glad to be able to watch up close.

“Thank you.” Hayden nodded truthfully appreciating the compliment from him.

“If your not busy i was hoping you would go to the family room after, Lauren has been dying to meet you.” Connor asked hopeful. Since Connor told Lauren about Hayden she has begged to meet her and Connor had feeling Lauren wanted to adopt her.

Connor also knew Leon had tell Celeste about Hayden and Celeste is so sad she will be gone for a few more months and won’t be able to meet Hayden for a little while.

Hayden paused as she stopped brushing her hair, She didn’t really want to go back in the family room but also knew she couldn’t shut out the entire team forever. Her parents would want her to get close with the team so slowly she could try and let herself get close to some of her team.

Hayden nodded making Connor grin crookedly, “Awesome. Are you ready?”

Hayden nodded to his question again and grabbed her phone and keys slipping them into her pocket and her post game drink and followed Connor out of the locker room.

Connor noticed Hayden’s eyes drawn to mural of her father as they walked out but he didn’t say anything and continued walking with her up to the family room.

Hayden let out a small sigh of relief realizing Lauren was standing out side of the family room and Hayden didn’t have to go into the room.

Lauren lite up seeing Hayden follow Connor. She gave Connor a small kiss on the cheek but her attention was fully on Hayden. Lauren noticed first was his sad Hayden’s eyes are and it made her sad to see someone so young with such sad and dim eyes.

“Hi Hayden. I’m Lauren.” Lauren very kindly said as she smiled at the young girl, she was very excited to meet Hayden but kept calm wanting to make sure she didn’t overwhelm Hayden.

“Hi.” Hayden mumbled back and felt warmer from the kind smile from Lauren.

Lauren managed to make some conversation with Hayden for a good few minutes, much more conversation that Connor or Leon had gotten from Hayden yet.

Connor watched the two talk with a fond smile, well more Lauren talking but Hayden seemed content to listen and nod along. Connor noticed that some of the tension from Hayden’s shoulders seemed a bit loser.

Connor understood completely that Hayden seemed more comfortable around Lauren, he felt the same way where he met Lauren. Lauren just has a comfortable presence for everyone.

“Oh my gosh we have to have the dogs meet!” Lauren gasped excitedly as they Connor and her had just recently gotten Lenny and they absolutely adore their dog.

Hayden’s face softened thinking about her dog, “Archie would love that.” Hayden truthfully answered as Archie loves playing with dogs and meeting new people and dogs.

“Perfect we will have to plan a day!” Lauren clapped her hands happily, “Oh and there is a really good dog park close by to Arena.”

Hayden nodded agreeing with Lauren to plan a day.

Hayden said her goodbyes to the couple and headed out of the arena.

Lauren and Connor watched Hayden walk away, “She’s so sad.” Lauren whispered feeling terrible as you can tell Hayden’s spark is just not there and it was because of losing her parents.

Connor nodded looking just as upset about the fact Hayden just doesn’t look happy and she should be, she just got drafted first overall to the NHL and it should be the best time for her life but it was obvious she was still grieving.

[taatsums]

Raito Kitakata SR - Yam Seng!: As Long As We Have These

Part 1

📍HAMA House, Rabbit room

[Door knocking]

Raito: Yukikaze. Are you ready to go? It seems it’s about time for us to get to the airport.

Yukikaze: Yeah, I’m all set…

Yukikaze: But are you sure this luggage will be enough for you? It looks more like you’re making a trip to the convenience store.

Raito: Yeah. I’m more of the local procurement type, so the bare minimum is fine with me. You also don’t seem to be carrying much, Yukikaze.

Yukikaze: I’m not going on a tour this time, after all. When I removed the things I need for skating, I ended up with only a single small carry case.

Raito: Is that so? What exactly do you take with you on a skating tour?

Yukikaze: Let’s see… My skate shoes and practice clothes, obviously. A tablet, some earphones, and also supplements and a tissue box as a good luck charm.

Raito: Are you talking about the tissue box you’ve got over there? The case has a rather peculiar picture on it… What kind of character is that?

Yukikaze: I have no idea. But Kaede gave it to me as a gift. Isn’t it cute?

Raito: I see, so it’s a kind of good luck charm. It makes sense that Chief would pick this.

Raito: Still, that’s quite a lot of earphones to carry around. Are they necessary for your skating routine?

Yukikaze: Yeah. Using them in everyday life is pretty different from practice, so I try all sorts of types to make sure they won’t break in the ice rink or come off while I perform.

Raito: I see… Is there one you’d recommend?

Yukikaze: For now, these SEMY ones. They have a wide range of sound, they don’t fall off easily and have great noise cancellation.

Raito: Ohh…

Yukikaze: I’ve been trying a variety of imported products lately. Even though they’re all marketed as sports-oriented, there are many different types, and it’s quite complex.

Raito: I see. It seems like a world that has no end once you get started in it.

[Running]

Kaede: H-Hold on! Why haven’t you two left yet!?

Kaede: You’ve got less than 2 hours until boarding time, you know!? You should get going while you still have time!

Yukikaze: Oh. Is it time already?

Raito: We’re both lightly packed and can travel around easily. I’m sure we can still get there on time.

Yukikaze: Alright, we’re going.

Raito: We’ll get you a souvenir.

Kaede: Have fun!

Part 2

📍 Tokyo Metropolis International Airport, Lobby

Raito: We arrived just in time. Wouldn’t you say we’ve got enough time till take off?

Yukikaze: Yeah. I’m glad Kaede called us out when he did. If we kept lingering, we might’ve been late.

Yukikaze: By the way, Raito, what did you bring with you? You said the bare minimum is fine for you.

Raito: What I have on me is this.

[Raito takes out his wallet]

Yukikaze: A wallet with a black card and… perfume.

Raito: As long as I have these two things with me, I could even go on a trip to space.

Yukikaze: Heh… I think I get it. Personally, so long as I have this, I'll be invincible no matter the trip.

Raito: This is… a mini soy sauce bottle! And it once again has a peculiar character drawn on it!

Yukikaze: Yeah. I’m using this bottle that the Chief gave me in place of a charm. I can take a whiff of it when I’m missing Japan, or pour it over local food.

Raito: I see. This is a good pick. I’m certain smelling soy sauce while overseas would be relaxing.

Yukikaze: It is.

[Announcement jingle]

Yukikaze: Hm, our flight is being called. Let’s hurry over to check-in.

Raito: Right… Oh, hm?

Yukikaze: What’s wrong?

Raito: I was careless. It seems I’ve forgotten my passport…

Yukikaze: That’s not good. We don’t have time to go back and get it.

Raito: We’re in a pickle.

[Drone wheeling over]

Drone: Kitakata Raito, Kitakata Raito.

Raito: Hm? Is this… Nayuki’s drone?

Yukikaze: It’s trying to give you something.

Drone: You forgot this, you forgot this.

Raito: My passport! Good, I can board the plane now. I’ll have to thank Nayuki later.

Yukikaze: (I think Raito should add his little brother to his travel essentials…)

Raito: Sorry for all the fuss, let’s get going now.

Yukikaze: Yeah. I hope we get to enjoy Singapore.

Raito: Yes, I’ve got high expectations for it, too.

Yukikaze: (I can’t wait to see… Just what kind of journey awaits us.)

NOTES:

(1) The card's title, Yam Seng! is Hokkien for ganbei/干杯/乾杯/kanpai, and translates to 'drink to victory'. It's pretty much a congratulatory cheer said before drinking

[theother-victoria]

mille-feuilles have never tasted so sweet

SYNOPSIS: an ice-skating outing with your girlfriend takes a very sweet turn

CHARACTERS: furina

NOTES: for @reilly34 as part of favonius library's secret santa event- I hope you enjoy!

The holidays in Fontaine have always been a special occasion. The air always smelled of freshly-baked desserts and hot cocoa within the city and by Lady Furina’s orders, the streets were to always be decorated. Lampposts, trees, and archways would be covered in lights. The aquabuses would receive a fresh coat of paint and large ribbons that would flutter in the wind while the Melusines would receive a special holiday uniform as they ferried curious visitors in and out of the city. 

(“Let the children of Fontaine be merry!” she would say. “‘Tis a joyous occasion worth celebrating. It is only just that I, their great archon, give the people what they want during these special times!” Or something along those lines.)

Even though Lady Furina has abdicated the throne, it seems as if her wish to spread some holiday cheer continued to live on. Quartier Lyonnais is busier than ever with people doing their holiday shopping. (a large Blubberbeast plushie on display makes you pause. It would make a nice present for her. You mentally remind yourself to buy it later today if it's still in stock.) Boulangeries and patisseries are drawing large crowds from their mouthwatering goods. You make the impulsive decision to snag some holiday-themed mille-feuilles that are on sale for Furina. She’d like them for sure.

You circle around the area in front of the Palais Mermonia, which had been converted into a public outdoor skating rink with the help of some Cryo vision holders. It’s crowded with families and their children. Past that and a block down is a quieter residential area where the former archon’s apartment is. Though the curtains are drawn, you can see that a light is on inside. She’s been acting nonchalant about your visit all week but as you approach the front door, you can hear her muffled pacing and talking to herself.

“Do these boots…? No, they clash with my coat. How about…?”

You knock and you hear her startled yelp.

“Lady Furina, dear. It’s me,” you call out. “I hope I haven’t kept you waiting too long.” 

You can hear her scramble to get the door and a moment later, the door flies open to reveal your dearest Furina. 

“Perfect timing! I need your help on deciding what to wear.”

You walk inside and place the bag of freshly-baked desserts on the coffee table. (You don’t miss how her eyes follow your every move and light up once she smells what’s inside.) 

“Hmm… I don’t think my taste in fashion could ever compare to you, Miss Furina de Fontaine.”

“Naturally,” she declares, her head held high in the air. But the facade quickly melts away, revealing the mellowed-out and humbled person your girlfriend had become.

“But I’d say you come a very close second. Now, tell me what I should wear.”

“Just choose something that’ll be easy to slip on and off. I have faith in your aesthetics so I’m not too worried about that.” 

She looks at you strangely. You shoot her a little wink.

“You’ll see why.”

“So, what’s this all about?”

“I wanted to do something for the holidays, but I know big crowds aren’t your thing anymore.”

You walk by the public outdoor skating rink from earlier and you don’t miss how she hides behind you. Luckily, everyone was too busy having fun to notice their former archon just a few feet away from them. 

“... But that doesn’t change the fact that I still want to do something special for you. Come on, we’re heading outside the city.”

With a gentle tug, you pull her along with you. You weave between the streets and alleyways, eventually ending up on the outskirts of the city. After consulting your map, going in circles several times, and getting lost at one point, you eventually arrive at your destination: a beach on the northwestern coast of Fontaine. The sand is covered by thick sheets of snow and the water has frozen over. 

You stride toward the waters and test out the thickness of the ice. Meanwhile, Furina looks at you as if you’ve lost your mind.

“... But there’s nothing here?”

“Nothing here but the two of us, and that was the point. I wanted this to be a moment shared only between us and no one else.”

You grab your pair of ice skates and toss your bag to her. Catching it, she realizes there’s a pair inside for her too. 

“I-Ice skating?” she stammers. “But I’ve never done this before…”

“Never thought I’d hear you say those words,” you say as you lace your skates up. “What happened to the Furina I know, who learned surfing in record time despite not having any experience with it beforehand?”

Your Cryo vision, which had been resting dormant atop the back of your hand, comes to life with a bright glow. Thick ice spreads out before your foot and you harshly stomp on it- it doesn’t even budge and with how cold it is, the ice should last. 

“Besides, I’m here as well. Do you trust me?”

Without hesitation, she grabs your outstretched hands with both of hers. 

“With my life now that I’m mortal.”

“Then, keep your eyes on me.”

You slowly glide along the ice, pulling her with you. The ice generated by your vision spreads out until it extends as far as your eye can see. It’s calm and quiet, only disrupted by the sounds of your skates against ice.

Furina’s legs start to wobble and her hand begins to slip out of your grasp. Without missing a beat, you 

After some time, you can tell she’s getting used to the rhythm of skating and has even tried mimicking your movements with some guidance from you.

(“Try to mirror my footwork. Think of it as a dance. I move back, you move forward.”)

“I’m going to let go of you now, ok?”

She nervously nods and… promptly falls on her ass the moment you let go of her hands. Naturally, you help her up but not before laughing a bit first. 

“That hurt,” she whines as you lift her back up onto her feet.

“Need my help again?”

She furiously shakes her head.

“No. I want to learn how to do this by myself.”

She dusts herself off and tries skating again on shaky legs, like a newborn foal. Knowing how stubborn she can be, you leave her to her devices, only returning every time you hear a loud yelp and a thud before lifting her off the ice again. 

“(Name), look! I think I’m getting it!”

You look back to see your girlfriend skating her way toward you- slowly and shakily- but still doing it nonetheless.

A light snow begins to fall overhead. It’s just the two of you skating in lazy figure-eights. You pull her to a stop and point toward the city where even out here, you can see Fontaine all decorated and lit up for the holidays. 

“Look at how beautifully Fontaine shines,” she whispers, her shoulders bumping against yours.

“Look at how beautifully you shine,” you respond. It’s true. Underneath the moonlight, her white hair shines like silver and the blue streaks shimmer like the ice beneath your feet.  Your dearest Furina looks like those legendary water nymphs you’d read about in storybooks as a child, renowned for their bewitching beauty. 

I am so lucky to call her mine. What did I do to deserve her?

I am so lucky to call them mine. What did I do to deserve them?

The walk back is a joyous one. It’s getting late and stores are beginning to close down. You pass by the shop you saw earlier selling the Blubberbeast plushie and remembering your mental note from earlier, you stop in to buy it for Furina. Was it pricey? Yes. But did seeing the starry-eyed look on your girlfriend’s face make the hefty price tag worth it? Also yes.

You come to a stop in front of her apartment, the street lamp flickering to life above you. 

“I’ll be heading home now, Furina. Good night, and-”

“Wait.”

You look back to see your girlfriend glancing off to the side with an adorable pout and flush on her cheeks. 

“... Can I have a kiss?”

You laugh lightly at her request and in a few strides, you’re standing in front of her again. 

“Haven’t I already told you? You don’t need to ask.”

Only the light snow is witness to your shared kiss. Her lips are soft and they taste like peppermint and dark chocolate. They’re just as cold as yours from the freezing winter winds. 

When you finally pull away from each other, gasping for air, you rest your forehead against hers, warming her hands up in your equally-cold ones.

“Did you sneak a bite of the dessert I brought you?”

“When you weren’t looking,” she cheekily replies. Her expression softens, losing all its playfulness as her sincerity shows through.

“Thank you, (Name). For the first time, the holidays don’t feel as lonely anymore.”

She giggles. 

“I’ve always liked mille-feuilles, but I never knew they could taste so sweet.” 

[assumptionprime]

My Favorite Games I Played in 2023

(with no regard to when they came out. I don’t care. I played them this year)

Tears of the Kingdom

Breath of the Wild is my favorite game. Period. All time. And while Tears of the Kingdom didn’t dethrone it, it’s largely more of that same game I love so damn much. I don’t think any open world game has crafted a world I just love running around and doing whatever I want as much as these. It’s all so exactly my shit.

Bomb Rush Cyberfunk

This game filled a Jet Set Radio Future shaped hole I didn’t realize was in my heart. It’s kind of funny that Sega announced a new JSR game after an indie dev put out the best one. Great music, great throwback art-style, and simple gameplay that just hooked me in. Skating around the city hunting for secrets and stringing together combos is so damned fun. It’s just fun.

Slay the Princess

You’re on a path in the woods. And at the end of that path is a cabin. And in the basement of that cabin is the best visual novel I’ve ever played. It’s just excellent on every front: gorgeous hand-drawn art, a perfectly moody soundtrack, and a great script delivered with excellent performances. Slay the Princess is brutal, creepy, surprising, and sweet. It is, after all, a love story.

Tunic

If you somehow haven’t played it yet (as I hadn’t) Tunic is 2D Zelda crossed with a dash of Dark Souls and a whole lot of mystery. Despite an unassuming start, Tunic surprised me over and over. I’ve never seen a game handle information about itself like Tunic does. When I play through it a second time it will, it must, be a completely different experience because I know the game now. That’s kind of true about any game, but it’s especially true here.

Signalis

I don’t like horror. Movies, shows, games, whatever. I’m a big giant baby who doesn’t like being scared. And I absolutely loved Signalis. It’s Resident Evil gameplay crossed with Silent Hill style but then it’s set in space and 90% of the characters are android women. I heard a lot of strong recommendations, and decided to give it a shot. I set the combat to casual (and turned the brightness up a little after the first time an enemy screamed and surprised me from a dark corner) and got through. Signalis is dense with themes and imagery. The first thing I did after beating the game was watch multiple video essays discussing the story, and disagree with them. I’m gonna be thinking about it for a long time.

[socalledsomethingorother]

just finished reading another bkdk masterpiece so i wanted to compile a list of my favourite bkdk fics! all of these authors are incredible!!

a promise (2k words) - katsuki and izuku get a chance to talk before the final war. every time i read this and see that it has hardly any hits or kudos i get offended because this is one of the most beautiful representations of katsuki and izuku’s characters. i love this, so much. it could be drawn out and considered canon and i wouldn’t be able to tell that horikoshi didn’t write it.

#letdekusmash + @/fuckmeupdeku (22k words total) - a news site gives deku some bad press. luckily there’s a thirsty stan account to back him up. who could be running this account? (it’s katsuki) this has been my comfort fic for years. it never fails to make me laugh and it’s just auagsgahsh i love it so much!!! also i reccomend reading fuckmeupdeku first, it’s the one from katsuki’s perspective. i think it makes reading izuku’s perspective that much funnier.

chasing stars underwater (52k words) katsuki has to go undercover for a mission and his death is faked. izuku grieves over katsuki’s “death” while falling in love with his undercover identity. NO FIC HAS REWIRED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY QUITE LIKE THIS ONE. IT HAS EVERYTHING. IT’S GOT IZUKU. IT’S GOT KATSUKI. IT’S GOT KATSUKI AS A FASHION DESIGNER. IT’S GOT ANGST. ITS GOT AHDHUSVAVDBSBBEBEB I CANNOT PRAISE THIS ONE ENOUGH

deku, enchanted (94k words) izuku is hit with an obedience quirk and is forced to do whatever anyone tells him to. it gets quite awkward when katsuki constantly tells him to “go fuck yourself.” OH MY GOD THIS ONE. THIS ONE AUSUUSGSGDGSGHSGDGDGG. THIS AUTHOR AGAIN. AMAZING. THE ENDING STILL GETS ME.

improbable (75k words) izuku and katsuki meet anonymously in a discord server and talk 24/7. they have no clue that they’re actually talking to each other. THIS FUCKIGN AUDUSUGSGEGEHEHGEGEGEHEHGSVDVSGSHDHHDHDHDHDBDBBEBSBDBDHDH EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS WAS AMAZING. THE NICKNAMES. THE WAY THEY FIND OUT ABOUT EACH OTHER. THE ENDING. THE MIDDLE. THE BEGINNING. THE EVERYTHING.

off my chest (9k words) deku vs. kacchan pt. 3 and it’s pure hate smut. UAGHTHAGAHH AGAIN. ONE OF THE BEST PORTRAYALS OF THEIR CHARACTERS. MY FAVOURITE SMUT FIC. I LOVE THIS ONE MAN.

i’ve found hope in a heart attack (92k words) katsuki has a cancerous brain tumor and deals with it in the most katsuki way possible. THIS ONE HURTS, FOLKS. but man it’s just. it feels canon to me like this just feels like a “katsuki gets cancer arc” of mha. it’s written so beautifully and man. it hurts. a lot.

and now a section dedicated to my favourite author sapphicpandabear who writes pure amazingness every time even though they’re constantly writing. i admire them so much!!

heroes on ice!!! (71k words) a yuri on ice x my hero academia crossover in which katsuki and izuku are a part of a program where they’re taught by quirkless pros. along with those two, a few other members of 1-A visit hasetsu, where they’re challenged to create a short program figure skating routine. YOU CAN FIND MY THOUGHTS IN THE COMMENTS OF EVERY CHAPTER BUT ITS MOSTLY KEYSMASHES BECAUSE I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS FIC AND THAT LOVE SHORT CIRCUITS MY BRAIN

break my heart (ongoing) izuku and katsuki haven’t seen each other in years, but they’re forced to work undercover together as a very sexually active couple. I GOT THIS AS A GIFT ITS LIKE PANDA READ MY MIND BECAUSE THESE ARE ALL OF MY FAVOURITE TROPES AND AUGH THIS IS ALREADY AMAZING

1 thru 5 (26k words) katsuki and izuku enter a friends-with-benefits type relationship and use a level system. I GET SO HYPED FOR SMUT FICS THAT HAVE A LOT OF COMMUNICATION AND THIS ONE DELIVERSSSS!!!! this was also gifted to me so ty ty

quirk entanglement (4k words) mina gets a bag of chocolate and each piece gives whomever eats it a random quirk effect. izuku gets an aphrodisiac quirk. i just love whenever mina is chaotically involved in things lmao

canada is too far away for this bullshit (12k words) while overseas, izuku sends katsuki a photo that happens to have a…toy in the background. katsuki goes insane about it. AUGH THIS ONE IS GREAT TOO!! also super funny lolol

[tryslora]

On rereading my old fic...

I’m having a lot of thoughts right now about rereading things I have written.

I struggle to reread original work. I don’t get lost in it when I start reading it, and I suspect that’s because I have already read it a few hundred times (I’m exaggerating, but it’s a lot) before it was put out for public consumption.

But fic. Ohhhh… I am one of those weirdos who loves to reread fic I wrote.

This came to mind because in the past few days, I’ve reread two old fics because both of them came up on my radar for different reasons.

(They were the “Love You So Hard” series of Scott/Stiles fics, and the “Dancing On Blades” Sterek Olympic figure skating AU, both from the Teen Wolf fandom, if you’re curious).

I didn’t mean to read them. But then I sat down trying to remember exactly what I’d written, and a half hour or so later, there I was like oh. Hey. I wrote that and I do not hate it. In fact, I now have a bit of a words hangover where I’m not ready to leave that world.

I love and hate that hangover. I get it both from reading and writing. In this moment, it reminded me a lot of what I loved about both writing and reading fic.

I haven’t had time to write fic recently. I have several unfinished WIPs in a Scrivener file, but if I’m not getting the overdue original done, I don’t feel like I can take time to write fic.

I haven’t been reading fic, either. I’m so far out of the fandoms I used to be part of, I don’t know how to find the fic that will give me the feels I love. I haven’t found a new fandom to be obsessed by where I feel comfortably falling into it. I admit, I like big fandoms, mostly because I love the variety of work and the ability to find so many wonderful gems. Small fandoms are great for flailing in meta, but terrible for finding more than a few fics.

Reading these two pieces years after I wrote them (and yes, I have reread both of them before) brought me right back to the world I lived in at the time. The world of fic. The feels. The memories of what it was like to belong to a  big fandom, and all that energy.

I miss it.

But this isn’t about fandom—this is about rereading my own words.

I’ve heard a lot of writers say that they never reread their own pieces, whether that is fic or original. They don’t want to revisit them. They are uncomfortable.

I find great delight in rediscovering myself. Every story is a snapshot of where my mind was in that moment. Every story is a reminder that yes, I can write, and I don’t hate my words. They are GOOD words. They made someone smile enough to leave a comment, and when I reread them, they make me smile, too.

I, too, want to comment to ask, “hey, where’s the rest? can I have more of this?” and that’s a tad bit frustrating since um, the only way that’ll happen is if I write it.

It makes me want to write more, though. Not necessarily that story. Maybe an original piece. Maybe something inspired by it. Might be difficult, given that one of those stories was absolutely buried in the world of Teen Wolf, and the other was a fanfic nod to Yuri on Ice without being a full-on YOI fic.

But at the same time, I have shapeshifter pack politics in my PHU serial; Alaric has to deal with it all the time. And much of the inspiration for that was drawn from things I developed that were my own head-canons while writing TW fic.

Writing is about learning. Writing fic is about joy, and it’s also about testing theories, and playing with words and ideas in familiar spaces.

It’s about creating a soft blanket that someone might want to wrap up in again and again, shutting out the cold, dark night.

I’m happy that rereading my own work gave me that feel, like I could build a blanket fort out of a story and retreat into a simpler time.

I want to create those same feels with my original work. I want to create a comfort blankie made of words.

In the meantime, I need to stop rereading my own work and move on. Write new words. Remember that if I did it before, I can do it again, and better this time. I’m not done. There are still stories in me; my mind is a library waiting to give books to those who need them.

[thewintersoldierdisaster]

Hey sweet girl!

Whete is the svechnikov family now and how are they doing? Did they do anything for Andries bday? It hasn’t been updated in a while and I miss it so I’m wondering lol!

hi there! ☺️ i know, i haven’t done too much of a focus in the svech babies recently, but baby d’s birth is in the works so that’ll be coming soon! missed writing my little tiny menaces

as for andrei’s birthday, they absolutely celebrated him!! he got a special breakfast and a big pile of kid hugs before he got to the rink for skate and mom brought all the kids to the game

if he doesn’t have a game on his birthday, they spend the day doing whatever he wants and with the kids it’s usually something fun and family friendly. the girls help mom make a cake for him and they all fight to blow out the candles

he gets hand drawn cards and plenty of gifts - now that the girls are older, they want to pick out their own gifts so they get a little budget and are turned loose in like cvs or the dollar store or something and pick things out (like have you seen those videos where kids buy their parents gifts and it’s like a two liter of soda, a princess coloring book, and like a gardening shovel? yeah, that’s what the girls do for andrei) mom gets him a fancy watch to wear on game days

and of course after the kids go to bed, he gets the birthday blow job of his life 🥵

[curiousechoo]

It took me to notice I haven’t uploaded Echō’s allspark almanac yet, as well as share more info on her. So I might as well rn! Feel free to give questions or anything else! ^^

rrra (credits for tea with the into: she’s a big help :>)

I’m planning to make more along with another character I’m developing on, but for now have my blurbo! I can’t wait to work more with her in the future!

Small description:

Echō was originally an ai intelligence made by a robotic scientist who was once her work partner. However, due to certain recent events, less mentioned as the 'incident,' she was compelled to abandon her former life and explore the world outside. She found companionship in Kris, a human, and Dot, a demon, who they both generously imparted knowledge about life and teach her about the outside world.

One day, while Echō was taking an evening stroll, she suddenly stumbled upon an allspark fragment. Her insatiable curiosity led her to study it closely. Unexpectedly, the allspark merged with her, triggering a profound transformation into what she is now, an authentic Audobot.

Echō's Audobot form is equipped with formidable arm-mounted cannons and possesses the unique capability of roller-skating on her feet. While she is still getting used to her form and being.. taller than humans, she has been proactive in forging connections with other Audobots on Earth, as well as discover Cybertron. This has allowed her to delve into learning more about cybertronians, including insights into the enigmatic Cybertronians, their language, and various aspects of their way of life.

Notably, Echō has found two particularly amicable companions, Jetfire and Jetstorm, who share her enthusiasm and interest. Their similar appearances and keen curiosity have drawn them closer to Echō as not just friends, but also like a pair of siblings.

Echō's current aspiration is to secure a position within the elite guard. As she embarks on this endeavor, she begins to face.. challenges… that will (eventually) test her newfound identity and abilities.

Her abilities:

While Echō has her armed cannons and rollerskate features, her most exceptional ability is the control of electricity. Currently, she rarely uses this power, unless if she activates her cannon. but when it comes to using all her energy, she exhibits a level of power that no one, human or bot, has witnessed before.

Her proficiency in controlling electricity traces back to her past life and an event referred to as the 'incident’ (which I’ll explain for another part) that made her receive this power. In her current state, she struggles to harness this power unless she is overwhelmed by intense emotions.

Other info dumps:

- Echō is a big Hastune Miku stan. She absolutely adores her, and especially listens to her songs on a daily basis as she finds her taste to be in her best interest, and also her being the reason for her to keep going. Echō herself wants to become a singer just like her, that is her passion being outside of chasing her dream as an Elite Guard.

- She is aromatic, which means she finds little or no attraction when it comes to love. While she is a robot, she’s not familiar with romance or relationships since she’s still learning about herself and her emotions along the way, and also being in guidance by her friends and other bots. In the meantime, she’s learning how to love. She does in fact has a partner, Nightracer (one ofTea’s lovely ocs), he’s a charmer to its finest and Echō quite enjoys being with him in general, such as they both find similarities in music and enjoy singing and dancing. Someone that can relate to Echō makes her really happy!

And now with a few art stuff to finish it off ee ✨

[workingforitallthetime]

drawn arrows unseen

part 9 / previous installments/tags

Mason must be going crazy, that’s all there is to it. He’s still learning his nose and it’s giving him bad intel. That must be what it is, because no one else seems to catch Connor’s scent. Mason can pick it up from the other side of their huddle, sharp and clean and dangerous, and the alpha coach between them keeps right on scrawling on his whiteboard like nothing’s going on.

That’s what lets Mason believe this isn’t what his nose is telling him. This is his problem and only his problem. If the coaches could smell Connor, they’d make Mason change rooms. Maybe they’d even send him straight back to Peterborough, if they had any idea what it feels like to sleep in the same room as Connor.

“Sleep” isn’t even the right word. Mason lies awake every night fighting his body’s reactions, trying to will his blood into an orderly flow through his veins instead of racing to his head and to his dick, not in that order. Every calming breath he tries to take is steeped in Connor’s scent. He curls on his side, tucking his knees like he can cork up the heat blooming in his belly.

“Norway,” Connor whispers from the opposite bed, and Mason has to stammer out Oslo while he’s practically dying.

He’s not going to jerk off five feet from his sixteen year old roommate and the future of Canadian hockey. He’s not going to do it in their bathroom, or in the shower, either. Aside from how that would feel creepy, he’s also pretty sure if he touches himself around Connor’s scent he’s going to pop a knot, and he doesn’t know how to manage that here.

It’s not so bad during the day. When they’re playing hockey, it’s easier for Connor’s scent to be more distracting than excruciating. All of their conversations unspool seamlessly from their text chain back into real life. Mason likes being around him, is the thing. It would be nice if Mason could stop smelling whatever it is he’s smelling and just enjoy being together.

One day they’re talking about Mason’s brother and how the strength and conditioning he does for MMA compares to Mason’s workouts, and Connor comments that Mason must have picked up some tips for fighting. “I’m not bad,” Mason allows, and Connor wants Mason to teach him some tricks. 

After practice the next day, Mason tries to show Connor how to haul a guy in so his face connects harder with your fist. He twists his hand in the front of Connor’s jersey. Connor goes pliant and lets Mason pull him close. Mason swings a slow-motion uppercut and taps his fist against the grill of Connor’s fishbowl. “See?” 

“Try it again.” Connor squares up.

Mason drags him in for another swing. Connor’s easy to haul around. Mason weaves backwards, bringing Connor with him, forgetting to punch because it feels so good to pull Connor toward him again and again.

[would you like video of this? there is video.]

Wright passes him in the tunnel afterwards. “That’s so cute, you’re such a big brother.”

Mason grunts at him and grabs his skate guards. He stomps off looking for the closest single occupancy bathroom in the bowels of the arena, someplace he can unlace his breezers for a quick and shameful wank.

During practices and meetings and meals he circulates among his teammates, assessing. He pays particular attention to the guys who are older, bigger, who’ve played NHL games. His nose tells him that Jake Neighbours and Cole Perfetti and Kaiden Guhle aren’t alphas, or at least haven’t presented yet.

Mason doesn’t even need his nose to figure out that Owen Power is the one and only omega at camp. He’s constantly on the phone with Kent Johnson, touching his fingertips to the shadow of Kent’s teeth under the collar of his t-shirt.

Mason’s not sure why they’d have an omega on the team, especially on defense. Power won’t hit anybody. He looks unsure of himself, coltlike on his very long legs. Mason overhears two of the coaches talking about it on the bench. They don’t sound concerned. “That’ll work itself out,” one of them says. “Once we get Johnson here.”

(next)

[rxin3akamallory]

Self Insert Birthday Countdown Day 3!

Ft. Makoto Miyakawa from Big Hero 6

Big Hero 6 was a MAJOR special interest when I first watched the movie in theaters. By the time the summer after rolled around, I was OBSESSED. Then the interest died down after 2016. But then later down the line in 2021, I was in a bad place mentally. Very bad. So I went over at my bestie’s house. One of the reasons I was invited over that night because my bestie wanted to rewatch Big Hero 6 with me, and I was super down! And let me tell you that movie night was so fun! I was giggling like an idiot at the jokes my bestie was cracking and we overall had a great time revisiting this film that we both honestly think deserves a follow up, a proper one. But what made it better was the fact that now I shared another interest that I held close to my heart with my friend who I held close to my heart! We BINGED the TV series afterwards and would talk discuss it afterwards, what was dope about it and what we thought would’ve made it better.

I created Makoto around this time as well! I for a while struggled with what her suit would look like and what abilities it would possess but then I stuck with something she was interested in like the other members, which one of them ice skating. I love that her bh6 outfit and her normal outfit have such contrasting color schemes. Also I haven’t drawn Makoto in her suit for a while so I thought this would be a good opportunity to do so now and I’m pretty happy with the results, especially with the ice mist coming from her gloves. I love drawing magical auras!

Timelapse:

[ofstans]

“Yeah.” He nods, licking his lips over as he carefully thinks of how to explain it. He’s stumped really - no, he’s not stumped. He knew how to explain it. But the shyness crept in more quickly than he would have liked and damn, he tried to swallow that down. “It’s…” The male trails off, still trying to form the sentence. “I like your laugh.” It was like honey and he was the bee, drawn to it. “The way your nose scrunches up, the blush that soon makes its appearance. I like being the cause of it.” He settles with that finally, “Means you’re happy and you deserve that.” He adds. He didn’t miss the way the silence fell between them, the words he had spoken surely digging deeper. He waited for her to question it, wondered if that would be his chance to say something, hues stayed locked on her as the silence drew on and then… nothing. He wasn’t sure how to feel about that. He didn’t want her thinking that he had feelings for someone else that WASN’T her, but he also never imagined telling Lily about the very feelings in this scenario. He kept those very thoughts from conveying through facial expressions or his eyes, sure that he would be kicking himself later. “They also -” Sebastian stopped himself, shaking his head before letting an easy smile take place on his lips. “Yeah, my mom did say that would get me in trouble one day.” He laughs.

“While they’re good -” Sebastian wouldn’t deny someone’s talent, “So are you. I’ve actually always wondered, and I feel like I might know the answer to this? I don’t know. For Mama Mia, that was you actually singing, right?” He had assumed it was. “I’m going to hold you to those karaoke nights, Lils.” Sebastian laughs. While they walked, Sebastian kept Lily at his side, glad she didn’t pull away and instead lent into him, the sound of the snow crunching beneath their feet was the only thing heard until Lily spoke. “You know, I debated making an igloo one night, just to sleep in it. But then I remembered I’m an actor, not an architect. It’d probably crash down on me.” He laughs. He had to agree with her about the food, food in different countries was always so good, and there were a few recipes he was going to take back to California when they returned. “I agree.” He nods with a chuckle. He fell silent, listening to her go into what she’s done since they’ve been here, watching her get excited about it. “I’m glad you’ve been having fun.” He smiles, “Did you fall ice skating? What’s better, a Christmas play, or a hallmark Christmas movie?” He asks. He loved the Lifetime and Hallmark Christmas movies that came on about this time of year. “You haven’t been sledding? Like ever?” Eyes widen at that with a laugh, “We’re changing that. Today. I’m taking you sledding.” He wouldn’t let her leave the snowy plains of Denmark without crossing that off her list. “I’ve heard about the amusement park, I’ve been meaning to check it out myself. Love a good amusement park.” He chuckles. “I’ve spent a lot of my time on the slopes. I’ve done other things too, but not the amusement park or touring one of the castles here. I think that’d be cool.” 

"Gaining something from it?" She inquired, raising an eyebrow. What could he possibly be benefiting from her blushing? Lily pondered, although perhaps it was just Sebastian's way of saying she was peculiar in an endearing manner. Lily was aware that this man was the kindest and most affectionate person she had ever encountered, so she shouldn't question it, but she couldn't help herself. None of the people she had ever dated or been involved with treated her like that. It was all an act, but Seb… Lily knew he was being genuine, and that meant more to her than he would ever comprehend. The atmosphere around them subtly shifted as Sebastian mentioned his desire to attract someone specific. There was a pause, a moment of silence between them. Curiosity compelled Lily to want to know more, yet she also felt hesitant. She knew that Sebastian could easily have anyone he desired. He was everything a girl could possibly dream of. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she gazed up at Seb as he spoke. Her deep brown eyes studied his handsome face and expression, "You already know how charming and debonair you are, Seb. People tell you this all the time." She confessed, not bothering to conceal the rosy hue on her cheeks. She knew it was futile; she had been caught. "You are simply too sweet for your own good." Putting away her guitar, Lily chuckles at his words, "Should I? I'm not sure, I'm definitely not Ariana Grande or Mariah Carey." She admits with a smile and a chuckle. "I enjoy singing for fun, but I don't think I would ever pursue it professionally. Just going to karaoke nights with you would be enough for me." She admits with a smile as they both head towards the door. It surprises Lily that she doesn't blush at yet another compliment, but maybe it's because she's too focused on his kind smile and those beautiful blue eyes. Lily sighs contentedly, wanting to get lost in those pools of blue. When he wraps his arm around her, Lily turns her head and tries not to smile at the small gesture, but the chilly weather surprisingly helps her hide her fluttering emotions from what Sebastian did. Lily leans into Sebastian's side, enjoying the warmth of his arm around her as they walk through the snow. She smiles at his words, nodding in agreement. "I understand what you mean. There's something magical about the snow. It brings out a different kind of beauty in everything." As they stroll, Lily takes a moment to think before responding to his question. "Well, the trip has been amazing so far. I've been loving exploring the city and trying out new places to eat. The food here is incredible, by the way." She grins, her eyes lighting up with excitement. "And yesterday, I went ice-skating and watched a Christmas play. It was quite an experience, I have to say! I fell in love with how they portrayed their Christmas romance, but it was so much fun." She pauses for a moment, considering his last question. "Hmm, there's actually something I haven't done yet, but I really want to. I've never been sledding before, and I think it would be a blast to go down a hill on a sled. Also, I really want to visit the amusement park here. I've heard it's a lot of fun. What about you? Is there anything you haven't had a chance to do yet?"

[sk8thereki]

I’m a tad bit late but!! Happy birthday Reki!! Mwah

[yourmidnightlover]

this one time

pairing: steve x mayfield!fem!reader

summary: reader gets mixed up in the upside down drama with her sister (s2 era) and happens to get a good dose of steve harrington, and she vows it’ll only be this one time.

warnings: ohhhh boy, billy being verbally and physically abusive, fighting, season 2 (aka demodogs and whatnot), illuding to an abusive household (duh), reader being independent as hell (like to a fault lmao bc me too sometimes), kinda sad ending (oops?)

a/n: in this fic, steve and nancy never got together in season 2 :) i think that’s the only variation in the fic. i’m ngl i might’ve cried while writing this but that also could’ve just been me being hormonal lol. also my second stranger things fic!! i’m kinda excited and can’t wait to see how this goes!

you didn’t quite know why he would always stare at you. to be frank, it was getting weird.

at lunch, when you would be waiting for max, basically every time you were in his line of sight his eyes were on you.

you even had a few classes with steve. luckily you were able to sit closer to the back. the downside to that is that the seats were all right by steve. whether in front, behind, or beside. it was worth it to not be in the front row, but still. it sucked.

you just kept your head down and let the day pass as fast as it possibly could, hoping that steve would mind his own business. sometimes he did. other times he would try to start a conversation.

“you do the homework?” steve leaned over to ask, too sweet of a tone adorning his voice to tell his true intentions.

“yes, harrington,” you rolled your eyes. “i did the homework. could your brain cells not keep up enough to finish it?”

“sadly, no,” he sighed, whipping out a softer, pitiful voice. “i was hoping maybe yours were able to make up for the disappearance of mine?”

“this is the last time,” you widened your eyes, trying to remain serious to the annoying little boy. “why do you never do it?”

“well, it always gives me an excuse to talk to you,” he had a sly grin on that stupid face.

you knew him and nancy were once a thing, but after will byers was found things changed. steve found that nancy was different after everything and they had both changed too much for them to make sense anymore.

but that didn’t mean that you and him made any sense at all.

“yea, shut it, harrington,” you scoffed as you let him glance at your paper to copy onto his own.

maybe he was drawn to you because you were a bit stand-offish. you knew you were. it’s because of billy. you had to be the protective older sister max needed. you were her biological sister, but you weren’t always so mean, only when billy and his dad came around.

you would be the one to defend max to billy. on occasion, you would have to defend max against billy’s dad. this might’ve earned you a bit of, punishment, as they would call it. others would say it’s abuse.

regardless, it wasn’t always like this. used to, you would play with max all the time. you were the one to teach her to skate. you had taught her the importance of self confidence. you were her older sister. she loved you dearly, and you did her. you still did, as did she.

it was just the dynamic that had changed. now, instead of being the sweet older sister everyone knew you were the rude, protective one. perhaps you just didn’t know how to shut off the mask you put up so often, in the house you would never call a home.

it was only a matter of time before you and max got dragged into the wild world of the upside down. you had brought her to the arcade that day lucas tried to explain everything to her. as per usual, she told you everything.

“maybe he just wants to impress you?” you scoffed, the story sounding unbelievable to yourself as well.

“why like this?” she rested her head against her fist by the window. “it’s just so stupid.”

“as are boys this age, max. they’re idiots that would say anything to impress a girl,” you gave her a pressed smile. “boys are stupid. why do you think i haven’t had one?”

“yea, maybe i should follow in your footsteps,” max added.

you laughed lightly before gently nudging her shoulder, turning up the radio to the latest kate bush song that had come out.

so when lucas told max that he had real proof, you were practically forced to follow along. well, not forced. max had asked you to come, in case anything funky was going on, and you happily said yes.

little did you know you would be met with dustin henderson and your very own king steve harrington. steve had directed you all, telling you what to do. the experience was rather ominous up to this point, so you reluctantly listened, but only to protect your sister in the case that they weren’t lying.

and once everything was boarded up, you went inside of the bus and waited. and waited. and waited.

max finally got tired of the silence when she asked, “so you really fought one of these things before?”

steve’s gaze from you was finally broken as he simply nodded his head, continuing to play with his lighter in attempt to pass the time a bit quicker than it was going.

“and you’re like, totally, 100% sure it wasn’t a bear?” she offered, being the sassy mini you she always was, you bit back a laugh.

that’s when little dustin decided to speak up a bit, “shit,” he huffed. “don’t be an idiot. okay. it wasn’t a bear,” but he wasn’t done there. “why’re you even here if you don’t believe us? just go home.”

“geesh,” max got up, headed towards the ladder. “someone’s cranky. past your bedtime?” she asked as she began ascending the ladder.

you busied yourself by fiddling with some old peeling fabric from one of the seats to hide the laugh in your throat.

“that’s good,” steve spoke, seemingly proud of the toddler who had tried to insult your little sister. “just show her you don’t care.”

“i don’t,” the toddler deadpanned, staring him straight in the eyes. “why’re you winking steve? stop.”

“really?” you chuckled, speaking up about the stupid situation at hand. “show her you don’t care? that’s the advice you gave him?”

“well, yea,” steve nodded, still playing with his little lighter.

“and does that always work with the girls you like?” you leant down, getting closer to steve on the floor.

you could hear how his breath hitched in his throat as he stumbled to find the right words.

“uhh yea, mo-most of the time,” he stopped toying with the lighter, focusing on dustin who was simply pacing back and forth, mumbling some incoherent nonsense that you figured you probably wouldn’t be able to understand even if you could hear him.

“most of the time?” you scoffed. “so you told him to be a dick to my sister on account of ‘most of the time’?”

“i didn’t say to be a dick!” he threw his hands up in defense.

“well he was being one.”

“i never told him to be one!”

“next time make sure he knows that, asshole.”

a loud growl interrupted your argument. your body became stiff as you instinctively curled into the arm that he protectively threw over your shoulders as you made your way to see what the ruckus was outside.

“lucas!” dustin shouted. “what’s goin’ on!” he demanded to know.

“hold on!” lucas replied.

silence fell over the group as you shrugged steve’s arm off of you, forgetting he had held it there. if you had paid attention to it, it felt a scarier without his arm there.

“i’ve got eyes!” lucas finally informed you. “ten o’clock! ten-ten o’clock!”

“there,” steve pointed at the creature outside of the bus, crawling low and slow.

“what’s he doing?” dustin wondered.

“i don’t know.” steve answered once more. “he’s not taking the bait. why’s he not taking the bait?” he asked worriedly.

“maybe he’s not hungry?” dustin tried to guess before a lightbulb went off in steve’s mind.

“maybe he’s sick of cow?” he replied smartly.

“wait-you mean?” you spoke up for once before steve backed away, making eye contact with you before turning.

“steve?” dustin asked. “steve, what’re you doing? steve?” he worried.

steve turned back to dustin and tossed him the lighter, “just get ready.”

“you’re not going out there alone,” you huffed at the brown eyed boy.

“like hell i’m not,” he replied, turning to face you once more. “you need to stay safe.”

“no, the kids need to stay safe,” you argued. “i’m going with you,” you told him as you grabbed a metal pipe and turned toward the door.

steve huffed as he rolled his eyes at you.

“are you gonna open the door or do you need me to go first?” you offered, teasing the boy before he reluctantly opened the door and headed out first.

“back to back, yea?” he whispered, feeling your back against his own.

you slowly walked towards the creature making the noise, feeling the whoosh of wind coming from steve swinging his bat in circles, probably from the nerves. he started whistling, trying to draw the creature out from wherever it was hiding.

“come on, buddy,” he teased with another whistle. “come on, buddy. dinner time. human tastes better than cat, i promise.”

“cat?” you whisper-yelled at him.

“i’ll fill you in later,” he replied.

when you heard the growl once more, somehow clearer, you turned to face it. you had to know what it was. the dog cleared, giving you sight of the monster you’d been told about.

“oh, god,” you raised your elbow, ready to swing in case of any sudden movement made by the thing.

“steve!” lucas shouted. “watch out!”

“little busy here!” steve roared before you turned around, noticing the second monster.

“oh, god,” your breathing picked up.

“three o’clock,” you nudged his shoulder to inform him of the new situation.

when he turned to where you were faced, his own face became filled with worry rather than mild fear. backed the two of you up a bit before the bus door flung open.

“abort! abort!” dustin shouted. “steve! y/n!”

“run!” the kids were screaming.

but every which way you looked, there was a new monster blocking your path. steve ran for the car, sliding across it before whacking one of the creatures, hearing it whimper and thud against the ground. you heard one behind your own back.

“y/n!” max shouted at you, alerting you that there was one behind you.

you swung and turned your body in one motion, the momentum enough to knock its body to the ground with a whine. another one was approaching your left, so you did the same thing with success.

after turning to where you last saw steve, he was running to you, shouting at you to move. you were too slow. a creature had tackled you to the ground, luckily steve had swung his bat before anything had happened, knocking the creature off of your body and to the side before he scooped you up bridal style and carried you into the bus himself, dustin slamming the door shut on the monsters.

they were easily able to break through the metal covering the door, leaving steve to knock the things with his nailed bat as the kids ran to the other side of the bus. you had luckily kept a hold of your metal pipe after being knocked down, your leg had been hurt but it wasn’t the time to worry about that.

dustin began to radio on his headset for anyone who could hear, seemingly with no hope. max had nudged your shoulder, motioning to the sunroof of the bus, the open sunroof of the bus. you pushed her behind you and made your way to where the roof was, not getting too close.

you could hear the stomps of the monsters above your heads before one approached the ladder. all you heard was max’s scream. the monster began to lunge towards you before steve put himself between you and the creature.

“come on you little piece of shit!” he bellowed. “you want some? come on!”

all at once the creatures began to turn away, no longer banging on the bus trying to get inside. steve had looked at you once more, a look of both relief and worry in his face.

you hadn’t even realized that you had latched onto steve’s arm. you didn’t care. you kept it there for a moment longer, hoping he wouldn’t notice or mind. you were scared, you could make an excuse.

this one time.

after a few moments of silence, steve had began to make his way outside, you following right behind with the rest of the kids.

“what happened?” lucas asked, all out of breath as if he had been the one fighting out there.

“i-i don’t know,” max hesitated.

“they scared ‘em off?” dustin mentioned, trying to find some sort of positive.

“no,” steve told them. “no way. there goin’ somewhere.”

when you all decided to take off in the direction of the ominous sound, which happened to thankfully break lucas and dustin’s little argument, steve had noticed after a while that you had been taking a bit longer than the others to keep up. you weren’t too slow, just a bit out of breath. he hung back for a second so he could ask you.

“hey,” steve began quietly as dustin and lucas went ahead. “did you get hurt? when you got tackled?”

“i-i don’t know,” you replied, more truthful than saying no. you just didn’t want to be a burden to the group, but you couldn’t stay behind. “i’ll be fine.”

“y/n,” he sighed. “which leg?” he pointed at them both before you lifted your pant leg, revealing a bruise all the way up your shin, a bit of blood from a cut running halfway down your leg. “that? y/n…” he trailed off.

he automatically put your arm around his shoulder, his arm going to your waist, acting as a crutch so you two could limp along together. you appreciated it, which was odd. you were always in depended. max noticed this too. and you noticed max holding lucas’s hand earlier. she had been talking to him on the roof of the bus prior to the, ‘demodog,’ as you came to find out, experience.

what was it with hawkins boys knocking down your walls? you didn’t like it. but, your leg really fucking hurt, so you could make an excuse.

this one time.

the rest of the night went by fast.

the noise led you to this… hospital? you had to pick up hopper, the police chief, will, mike, and joyce, wills mom. you had also ran into nancy and her boyfriend? jonathan. you weren’t sure if they were official.

when you ran into nancy and jonathan you only felt steve’s hold on you get a little tighter. you would only let yourself embrace it tonight. only tonight. you made your way back to joyce’s house, who you already felt this motherly hold over you. you enjoyed it. it was different.

you weren’t quite sure what you were doing. waiting, you suppose. they had filled you in on everything. the upside down, this girl named el, will’s whole experience and now what he’s going through.

then mike starting saying how bob, the man who had passed while saving the rest of them, had started the av club. how he couldn’t die in vain.

next thing you know they’re talking about the shadow monster and the tunnels that’re connected with the hive mind. how everything, the demodogs, tunnels, mind flayer, and even will are connected.

then the kids are telling you about this mind flayer character from d&d to relate this new creature to something a little more understandable. how this creature wants to conquer us, and become the master race. and the only way to know how to destroy this monster, is through will.

you all worked to make his shed unrecognizable. you covered it in sheets and foil and tons of bright lights. then your part was over. it was yet another waiting game.

while the kids were figuring out the morse code will was signaling, steve ushered you to the bathroom.

“what’re you doing?” you sighed, already exhausted from the night you’ve had.

“cleaning you up,” he informed you as he tapped the countertop, wanting you to hop up. “it doesn’t need to get infected and with those demodogs that did this to you we don’t know what bacteria they carry. so,” he tapped the counter twice more to prove his point, his voice like satin.

you lifted your hurt leg to hop on the other, grasping steve’s shoulder a bit so you could get on the counter easier. his hand went to your waist to help.

“alright, you wanna squeeze my hand when i pour this?” he asked as he lifted a bottle of alcohol to pour on your leg.

you nodded. only for tonight.

“one,” he began counting, only he began pouring on two.

“fuck!” you grasped his shoulder with your free hand, squeezing his hand that was in your grasp. “shit, shit, shit,” you whispered, trying not to distract the decoding process. “ohhh i hate you steve.”

the smell of him was a bit distracting from the pain. it was sweaty, but with undertones of his cedar wood cologne able to peak through. but that little distraction, the little peak of him you were able to focus on, was worth it.

“aww you don’t mean that,” he put on a small smile at your anger. “okay… that’s it. now i’m just gonna put some of this on,” he held up some neosporin from the first aid kit, “and then i’ll bandage you up, yea?”

“yea,” you nodded. “that shit hurt more than it did when i got it,” you motioned to the peroxide.

“sorry,” steve didn’t know what else to say as he finished his handiwork, releasing your hand before tenderly wrapping your leg in an ace bandage. “it had to be done.”

“i know, it’s just…” you took a deep breath. “damn,” you both laughed at that.

“okay,” steve breathed out, “all done now,” he bent down and placed a soft kiss to your knee as if he kissed it all better.

“thanks,” you smiled before he placed his hands back on your waist, carefully guiding you down. you didn’t have much time before hopper came barging into the house, telling the kids to get away from the windows.

you and steve marched out of the bathroom, you still rolling your pant leg down before they brought an unconscious will back into the house. you swiftly picked up your metal pipe as steve did his nailed bat, nancy held a rifle, hopped held his own gun, and you waited. waited for something, anything.

you turned where each noise came from, hoping to catch it before it caught you.

“where are they?”

“what’re they doing?”

then the noises stopped. you all panned the area, trying to get a feel for where they went. then a demodog came flying through the window.

“holy shit.” you said in unison with dustin.

“is it dead?” max wondered.

when hopper shoved its head with his foot, we were assured it had died. but then the lock on the door came undone. it seemed as though you could never catch a break in this town. a girl began walking through the door, converse clad with a nosebleed.

mike stepped forward, clearly having a close relationship with the girl. it was like watching the sweetest of reunions.

you turned to max, “is that-“

“el?” she finished for you

“y-yea,” lucas answered. “it is.”

“i never gave up,” mike said. “i called you every night-every night for-“

“353 days,” el nodded. “i heard,” she stepped closer to him, still not believing he was finally in front of her after almost a year

“why didn’t you let me know you were there?” he seemed hurt.

“because i wouldn’t let her,” hopper spoke up, stepping forward in the group.

part of you felt as though you shouldn’t be seeing this. you were so new to the group, you felt wrong witnessing such a seemingly tender moment.

“the hell is this,” hopper began to question el. “where’ve you been?”

“where have you been?!” she retorted, a bit snappy. you liked her.

they responded with a hug, tears began to prick your eyes a little before mike ruined the moment.

“you’ve been hiding her,” he concluded. “you’ve been hiding her this whole time!” he punctuated with a shove to hoppers back.

“hey,” hopper grasped his wrists. “let’s talk. alone.”

he led mike into a room, away from the group to discuss things with a bit more privacy. in the meantime, lucas and dustin began to say their hellos to the girl.

“we talked about you basically every day,” dustin mentioned, leaving el to stare at him before tapping his teeth.

“teeth.”

“huh?” lucas and dustin wondered.

“you have teeth,” el rephrased, a bit confused as to why he had teeth.

“oh,” dustin remembered. “you like these pearls?” he began to purr? you think that’s what that was. it clearly surprised el.

max began to walk towards the girl, “eleven?” the girl just stared at max. “hey, um, i’m max,” she stuck out her hand, “i’ve heard a lot about you.”

el just walked past her, rejecting not only a handshake but what seemed like a friendship. but, el wandered into joyce’s welcoming arms.

“what was that?” you questioned.

“i-i don’t know?” max wondered herself, not knowing where she had gone wrong with the incredibly short interaction.

and with the return of eleven, it was as though the master key to a house was returned. everything fell into place as she stated that she could close the gate. she could fix everything.

in order to get the mind flayer’s grasp off of will before eleven shut the gate, joyce, jonathan and nancy went to burn the mind flayer out of him.

meanwhile you were still at joyce’s with steve and the kids. you had been helping max and lucas clean up the living room while dustin and steve were, for some reason, putting the creature in the fridge. mike was just pacing. worrying.

“mike, would you just stop already?” lucas spoke up, somehow annoyed by his movement.

“you weren’t in there, okay, lucas,” mike shouted back. “that lab is swarming with hundreds of those dogs.

“demodogs!” dustin spoke from the kitchen.

“the chief will take care of her!” lucas tried to reason.

“like she needs protection,” you added.

“listen, dude, a coach calls a play in a game, bottom line, you execute it,” steve tried to reason. “all right?”

“okay first of all this isn’t some stupid sports game,” mike rebutted. “and second we’re not even in the game. we’re on the bench.”

“right-right,” steve tried to think of a come back. “so my point is…”

“there’s nothing for us to do,” you finished for him.

“that’s not entirely true,” dustin mentioned, clearly up to something. “i mean the demodogs have a hive mind. when they ran away from the bus, they were called away.”

“so if we get their attention,” lucas interjected.

“we draw them away from the lab,” max added.

“away from eleven,” you finished.

“yeah and then we all die,” steve tried to reason.

“well, that’s one point of view,” dustin retorted.

“no, that’s not a pint of view man,” steve said with an attitude. “it’s a fact.”

“i’ve got it!” mike went into another room, pointing to the drawings of the vines. “this is where hop dug the hole. this is where we get to the vines,” he began to move again. “here, right here. this is like a hub. so you’ve got all the tunnels feeding in here. i think if we set this on fire-“

“oh, yea, that’s a no,” steve interjected, a hand on his hips as he pointed to the child. you nudged steve with your arm, pulling him to the side.

“look, i know i don’t know much about this situation and everything,” you started. “but i don’t think they’ll be able to close the gate at all with all of those dogs for eleven to kill. it seemed like killing only one of them drained her a bit. mike said that place had hundreds, steve. it’s not just our lives on the line. it’s everyone’s.”

he wanted to listen to you. he wanted to help. and he wanted you to know that he cared about what you thought. but he promised them that he would keep the kids safe. he couldn’t break his promise.

while you were trying to reason with him, the kids were still plotting on how to distract the dogs. steve ran his hands through his hair before clapping, getting everyone’s attention.

“hey! hey! hey!!” he shouted. “this is not happening.”

“but-“

“no buts!” he scoffed “i promised to keep you shitheads safe and that’s exactly what i plan on doing. we’re staying here. on the bench. and we’re waiting for the starting team to do their job. does everybody understand that?”

“this isn’t even a stupid sports game!” mike reminded him.

“i said does everybody understand that?” steve repeated. “i need a yes.”

you opened your mouth to begin speaking when you heard a familiar engine revving outside of the house. you and max ran to the couch to peer outside and see who was out there.

“shit,” you turned to max. “billy.”

“he’ll kill us if he knows we’re here,” max told lucas.

“just-just stay inside,” steve motioned to you and max. “both of you, please,” the look in his eyes told you he was serious.

you placed max behind your back and nodded to him, knowing that if he saw you would would know max was with you.

you didn’t know or hear anything that was going on outside. you were just pacing around the living room, trying to remain calm. steve could handle this.

then you saw all the kids duck down from the couch.

“what the fuck guys?” you scoffed at them. “max did he see you?!” the door slammed open, billy walking inside.

“well, well, well,” billy scowled. “lucas sinclair. what a surprise. i thought i told you to stay away from him max,” he said as he got closer to your sister, you were both able to feel his breath on your skin.

“and i thought i told you to brush your teeth this morning,” you got between him and the children.

“she knows what happens when she disobeys me,” he chuckled. “i break things.”

he immediately turned towards lucas before you could move him out of the way. billy had your shirt collar in his hands, shoving you towards the wall before he laid a punch on your cheek.

the kids were screaming, begging for him to stop. he wouldn’t listen after throwing two punches, feeling blood trickling down your nose, he held you tightly once more.

“what is it with that fucking mouth of yours huh?” he chuckled. “always such a bitch. i would imagine that your new boyfriend, harrington would like you much more if you would just keep it shut like a good little bitch, huh?”

“you’re the bitch,” you heard steve announce before he laid a fat one on billy’s cheek, shocking his grip off of you.

you nearly fell to the ground, your balance being less than stellar with your leg already hurting. max was there to help you balance, wrapping her arm around your waist.

“looks like you finally got some fire in you after all, huh?” billy began laughing maniacally. “i’ve been waiting to meet this king steve everybody’s been telling me so much about!” he walked closer to steve.

“get out,” steve ordered.

billy swung, steve ducked to miss the shot before landing another one of his own, sending billy across the room. he landed a couple more blows before billy grabbed a plate, smashing it over steve’s head. steve stumbled out of the room, trying to catch his breath while billy followed.

“nobody,” he picked steve up by his collar. “nobody tells me what to do,” he threw him to the ground.

you could sense that he was about to pound on top of steve, so you shoved billy out of the way, reminding him of your presence to shift his focus. maybe steve would be alright if you were able to distract him for long enough.

“look,” billy chuckled. “little princess with the hurt leg wants to save her boyfriend,” he kicked the hurt leg, sending you falling to the ground, but not before grasping one of billy’s legs, taking him with you.

with billy now on the ground, you rolled on top of him, sending a punch to his cheek. you winded your hand back, ready to send another one before he caught your hand, squeezing it so tight you swear your heard some bones pop.

“he’s-“ you tried to speak through the pain, tears running down your face. “he’s not,” you yanked his hair back with your free hand, shocking him enough to retrieve your hand. “he’s not my boyfriend.”

“right,” he smiled with his head back before spinning you two back over, him now on top of you before landing another punch on your cheek. “he never would be, huh?” another punch. “you’re not good enough for anyone in this goddamn town, as terrible as it is. not good enough for anybody anywhere. you’re just a little girl with daddy issues,” he put his face in your own. “trying to feel love even though you know you’ll never deserve it,” he began chuckling, brushing your hair behind your ear. “you’ll always be that pathetic little whore deep down, huh?”

tears were now flowing down your face, embarrassment long forgotten from the pure pain and torture you felt beneath the boy you should’ve trusted. the boy you were supposed to be able to call a brother. as he spat in your face, you realized he had a hold on one of your hands.

he used the free one to land one more blow to your face before steve tackled him off of you. max had immediately come to your aid, but it wasn’t long before billy was back on top of steve. you pointed to steve, then to the shelf that had the sedative.

“use it,” you nodded towards max.

she marched towards the shelf, grabbing the medicine before shoving it in the back of billy’s neck. he quickly got off of steve, turning to face max. you couldn’t hear what was going on, the ringing in your ears a bit too loud. you saw billy hit the floor, smiling with what seemed like laughter before you hobbled up, grabbing steve’s nailed bat before raising it over your shoulder.

“from here on out you will leave max and her friends alone, got it?” you asked.

he just laughed.

you swung the bat right between his legs, underneath his dick before screaming, “say you understand! say it!”

“i understand,” he finally mustered up the courage to speak.

“sorry, what was that,” you wanted him to be louder.

“i understand!”

“good,” you dropped the bat to your side before grabbing the keys from his belt loop. “joy ride, anyone?” you put on as good of a smile as you could while holding the keys up.

you had told max to drive, your leg still absolutely killing you. you sat in the back, steve’s head on your lap as you doctored up his wounds. it was the hydrogen peroxide that made him wake up.

“shh,” you whispered. “i know, i know,” you ran your hands through his hair.

“y/n?” you nodded at his question.

“let me just clean you up a bit, alright?” you finished pouring the peroxide, letting him squeeze your hand to return the favor from earlier before placing a dab of neosporin and a bandage over each cut while the kids were navigating.

you were paying attention to his wounds but he was paying attention to you. how careful you were. how soft your hands felt on his face, how nice they felt in his hair. was his head on your thighs? they were comfy. soft. he could stay like this forever. until he realized…

“oh my god!” he shouted, moving him from his daydream and back into reality.

“relax, she’s driven before,” dustin tried to convince steve it was fine.

“in a parking lot!” mike added.

steve kept chanting, ‘oh my god,’ as max drove, each of the kids trying to calm him down. it was all stressful and probably too loud for his head. there was definitely a concussion, you just weren’t sure how bad it was.

“everyone shut up!” you ordered. “steve, i couldn’t drive. the douchebag hurt my leg even more, i told her she could, she’s really not too bad. now you have got to breath before you put yourself in worse condition than you already are, got it?” you told him, hands placed softly on both sides of his face to ground his attention.

he nodded, taking a deep breath as you animated with him.

“your face,” he reached up to cup your face, you leaned into his touch.

this one time.

“i’m sorry i didn’t stop him sooner…”

“it’s not your fault, steve,” you gave him a small smile. “billy’s just a douche,” you shrugged. “besides, now i can say that i’ve been in a fight.”

you swore he was leaning into you until max nearly missed her left turn, hitting a mailbox and nearly crashing the car. steve’s arms were flailing everywhere until he wrapped one around your shoulder and the other around your waist.

“jesus, max!” you huffed out. “make a liar out of me, why don’t ya?”

a sigh of relief fell upon the entire group as she put the car in park. “i told ya. zoomer,” she added.

“zoomer?” steve asked you, you laughed and placed your hand over his mouth to shut him up for a moment.

you and the kids got everything out of the car, the masks and goggles to protect yourselves. steve was stumbling out of the car, mumbling about how he told you not to go in there, saying that it wasn’t gonna happen.

“look, steve,” you took your metal pipe out of the trunk. “either you stay here and watch the car or something while i make sure they stay safe or you come with us and help me. your decision,” you shoved his backpack in his direction, along with his nailed bat, before hobbling after the kids.

“y/n,” steve called you back. “you’re hurt. your leg. is this really the best decision?”

“it’s the only decision, steve,” you shook your head. “regardless of whether or not you’re going down there, my sister is not going without me. got it, steve?” he nodded. “good.”

steve jumped in the hole before you, able to catch you so you wouldn’t hurt your leg even more with the impact of landing. you quickly took your hands from his shoulders to turn and observe the tunnels.

“yea i’m pretty sure it’s this way,” mike said, his voice slightly muffled by the bandana around his nose and mouth.

“you’re pretty sure or are you certain?” dustin demanded to know.

“im 100 percent sure!” mike rephrased. “just follow me and you’ll know!” mike began to lead the group.

“woah! woah! woah! hey, hey, hey!” steve shouted. “i don’t think so,” he said as he caught up with mike, leaving max to be your crutch beside you.

“what?” mike questioned.

“any of you little dipshits die down here and i get the blame,” steve said. “got it, dipshit?” you rolled your eyes. “here on out, i’m leading the way. come on, let’s go.”

“my god, what is this place?” you looked around. it seemed like a cave that had little extensions.

“alright let’s keep moving!” steve ordered, moving ahead quickly.

“ahh shit!” you heard dustin’s scream “it’s in my mouth! holy shit it’s in my mouth! ahhh!”

you all ran to where he was, you got on the ground next to him, he grasped your arm as he kept trying to spit it out on the ground, coughing before sitting back up.

“i’m okay,” he breathed out.

“seriously?” you shoved him back before steve held out his hand to help you up, letting his hand linger around your waist.

“really funny man,” steve sassed. “nice, very nice.”

this time he let his hand on your waist guide you through the tunnels beside him, albeit a bit worried about something happening to you. you didn’t mind, you felt max’s presence right behind you.

“alright wheeler,” steve announced. “i think we’ve found your hub.”

it was huge. like a big cave with little extensions in every direction. the little particles dancing around made it hard to see, even still with your adjusted eyes.

“drench it,” mike said.

you all began pouring the flammable liquid you had gathered everywhere, making sure to cover as much surface as possible. this thing would burn. and you wanted to make sure of it.

“you guys ready?” you asked, they all nodded. you turned to steve, his nod ensuring that they were ready before you flicked the flame alive, tossing it onto the ground.

immediately the vines began to come to life, screeching from pain and writhing, trying to escape it.

“let’s go,” steve yelled. “let’s go! let’s go! lets go!” he ushered the kids away, you not too far behind him.

when mike tripped, screaming for help, you were able to whack the vine with your metal pipe, sending it screeching back away from his leg, you ordered the others to keep running before a dog came before you.

“dart?”dustin had asked. “is that you buddy?”

“dustin-“

“trust me!” dustin ordered. “hey, it’s me, it’s me. it’s just your friend. it’s dustin,” he took his goggles off to prove it to the creature. “just dustin, all right? you remember me,” he crouched down to the dog’s level. “will you let us pass?”

the dog snarled at him, seemingly telling the child no.

“okay, okay. i’m sorry,” dustin tried to reason. “i’m sorry about the storm cellar. i know it was a pretty douchey thing to do. you hungry?” he reached into his backpack. “yea? i’ve got our favorite. see? nougat,” dustin began to unwrap the candy for the dog to eat, placing on the ground. “look at that. yummy. here, all right,” he backed away from the dog, waving for everyone to pass the creature while he was occupied. “there’s plenty, i’ve got more,” he offered.

you began to ignore his reunion, instead ensuring that max got across safely, your hand on the square of her back as steve led the group at the front. dustin quickly earned his footing ahead of you before you saw the rope.

steve began lifting the kids up the rope as he heard the roaring of the dogs. first max, then lucas, mike, dustin, then the dogs were too close.

“steve?” you looked at him, tears pricking the corners of your eyes.

he grasped your hand, “i’ve got you,” but you opted for wrapping your arms around his torso, his going around your shoulders. you tucked your head into his chest before realizing that they hadn’t attacked you. they were going around.

“eleven,” mike realized.

steve was able to hoist you up, letting the rest of the kids help pull you up before he grasped your hand, you and the kids doing the same for him. once you were all on safe, solid, normal ground, you noticed the headlights of the car getting increasingly bright. eleven was doing her thing. you had helped.

-

one broken tibia and a month later, hawkins was seemingly ‘normal’ again. you were adorned in a pretty little cast while waiting for max outside of the snow ball dance. you think her and lucas will kiss, she might’ve mentioned wanting to during one of your sleepovers.

you were parked outside of the school, reading the shining for what felt like the 50th time, when a car parked next to your own. you looked across and saw none other than steve harrington in the drivers seat, a dorky grin on his face as he waited for you to wave your hand and motion for him to join you in your car.

“hey,” he opened the door and plopped in. “so, uhhh…”

“yes?” you asked, wanting to know why he had that dopey grin on his face. while it was an obnoxiously cute grin, you still wanted to know what put it there.

“how’s the leg?” he motioned to the one that was bent in your seat, still a bit of grief hit him when he remembers how hurt you had gotten that night.

“y’know,” you shrugged. “it’ll be fine. hurts like hell, though.”

“i’m sorry,” he dropped eye contact with you, opting to look at his hands that were currently cupping his knees.

“for what?” you chuckled. “you didn’t do this.”

“yea but,” he breathed out. “i could’ve. i saw billy when he-he shoved your leg in. you have no idea how-how angry that made me. and how he spoke to you? i just… you are deserving of-“

“hold it, steve,” you put your hand up. “i don’t need you to give me this whole ‘pity speech’ about how i deserve love and how im not broken, okay?” you rolled your eyes. “i know i am and im fine with that. what i don’t need is some guy who thinks he knows me try to tell me that im good enough for him or for anyone else. because frankly, i don’t-i don’t even feel that way, okay? so, please,” you felt tears prick your eyes. “don’t bring that back up. because bill-billy somehow knows my deepest thoughts and fears and i-i don’t want anyone else to even think about them. i just can’t handle it right now.”

“y/n,” he grasped your hand with his own. “it’s okay. it’s okay to not be able to handle something-especially after what you’ve been through,” he brought your hand to his lips. “i care about you. i want you to be able to talk through it, even if it isn’t with me.”

“i can’t,” you shook your head. “i can’t talk to max about this. i don’t want her to see me like this.”

“then she doesn’t have to, okay?” he reached across the console and wrapped his arms around you, letting you cry on his shoulder. “i’m here, it’s okay.”

“it’s just…” you dragged on. “home isn’t good. it’s not even a home. i just try to make sure max is never in the mix when things go down but then i-then,” you choked on a sob before he continued to stroke your back.

he pulled back after a second, “if you and max ever need to just… escape, you know my door is always open,” his eyes searched yours for some sort of confirmation but found a bit of weariness. “my parents are like never home, so you won’t really have to worry about them not wanting you guys around.”

“i wouldn’t want to do that to you,” you shook your head, insistent on the idea that you would be too close to a burden on him.

“do what?” he scoffed with a smile. “rid me of my… i’ll admit, loneliness?”

“steve harrington? the king of hawkins high, lonely?” you rolled your eyes. “yea, i’ll believe it when i see it.”

“then you will come over?” he acknowledged with a shit-eating grin. “see the loneliness, first-hand?”

“maybe, steve,” you sighed. “maybe.”

and maybe you should’ve let yourself hold onto him a little longer. you should’ve let your walls down for him. but you couldn’t. you barely knew him. well, you knew him now. but not outside of trying to save the world. you didn’t know how he was when he was sick. you didn’t know his favorite color.

so for tonight, you let yourself feel. you let yourself weep and break and crumble apart in steve harrington’s arms. chances are he would forget what even happened the next day anyway.

this one time.

tomorrow came. and no sign of steve. then the next, then the next. for some reason you felt disappointed. after everything… no.

you don’t need him. you don’t want him. you are perfect without him. your walls are still intact. you have yourself. that’s all you need.

but max, well, max needed you. sometimes she wouldn’t admit it, but she really did need you. so, you were there.

you drove her to the arcade the fifth day, deciding to stick around and watch her do her thing from inside, cheering her on and handing her more quarters once she ran out.

when you heard the other heathens arrive, you knew who was dropping them off. you opted to not even look out of the glass door. he doesn’t need to know you’ve even thought of his name. maybe you have a bit too much.

“y/n,” steve’s voice rang through your ears. you turned to face him with an obviously forced grin. “sorry i never called, my-“

“oh, doesn’t matter, harrington,” you shrugged. “all is well.”

“i just thought that you maybe wanted to talk since…” he dragged on, not wanting to spill too much with this many ears around.

“look, harrington,” you turned to actually look him in his eyes. “i get that we got a bit close and all because of some life or death situations but you don’t need to pretend to care or be my friend anymore. i just-i need to make sure max is taken care of, and that takes a lot more work than you would think,” you chuckled, trying to break the bridge before your walls became irreplaceable to the brown haired boy before you.

“i was never pretending, y/n,” his eyebrows furrowed at your word-vomit taking a step closer to you while reaching for your hand. “you realize i just want to help, i want to be there for you.”

“i don’t need anyone,” you shook your head, pulling your hand away from his. “i’m fine, harrington. i’ve been fine without someone this far, and i’ll continue to be fine.”

“you deserve to be better than fine, y/n,” he argued, letting your hand fall from his own, as much as he missed its warmth. “and what-what’s happened to ‘steve’? what’s with this ‘harrington’ bullshit again?”

“it’s your name,” you shrugged, avoiding eye contact with the man in front of you. you could feel how close you were to caving in. but you couldn’t. you just… you couldn’t risk it. “i’ll use it how i please.”

“when you decide you want to be more than fine,” he sighed, knowing how stubborn you were. “i’ll always be here. waiting for you.”

you turned around before saying with tears in your eyes, “don’t hold your breath, harrington.”

you felt his hand linger over your shoulder, hesitating to leave his touch before you felt the warmth of his presence retreat. the only sign that told you he was surely gone was the ring of the bell on that glass door and the revving engine of his car.

you wouldn’t have noticed if the glass door had shattered as distracted as you were with the feeling of your own heart doing the same. this wasn’t supposed to hurt. you weren’t supposed to feel anything. but now you felt everything. from the one night, that was supposed to only be one time. so why did you want him all the time?

[raccoonhearteyes]

Part I  | Part II  | Part III | Part IV  | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI

December 18th, 2018 

It has been over a month since Lexa saw Clarke. Or accidentally fucked her after falling asleep on her roof. She was just so warm. And kind. And being pulled into Clarke’s orbit is just too easy. Lexa knows that if she sees her, she won’t be strong enough to walk away. Even though it’ll be better for her. So instead of risking the temptation, Lexa has avoided any place she may run into Clarke. She refuses to go near the gallery. She avoids the whole borough where Clarke lives. She won’t even let herself get coffee somewhere if there’s a chance a flash of golden hair and baby blue eyes will send her spiraling again. 

Lexa usually loves the holiday season in the city. She loves the lights and the display windows. This year, seeing happy couples kiss at the Rockefeller tree, families cozied together in the winter chill just makes her feel hollow and empty. 

The Darkness preys on weakness, and skates by Lexa. Lexa’s too depressed to walk away and make him chase her. When he takes a lap the second time, he slows to a stop in front of her.

“What’s the matter Lexa, no holiday spirit this year?” 

“Hard to be cheery when you spend it alone.”

“What are you talking about, I’m here, aren’t I?” 

“You’re not exactly the company I’d ever hope for.” 

“Hm, still hung up on your artist, then?”

In the past twenty years, he has been cruel and relentless in trying to get her to give up her soul. He taunts and times his appearances on the days when she feels the worst. But he is still the most consistent aspect of her life, the only person or devil that remembers her. That she can carry a conversation with without worrying about being forgotten. While he’s shown up at bad times, he sometimes shows up just to check. They talk about things other than stealing her soul every so often. Sometimes he’s the outlet she needs for a more serious conversation that a stranger won’t have. 

And tonight, for whatever reason, he seems less likely to convince her to give up. Maybe it’s the holiday spirit. Maybe she’s projecting. Maybe she really is just that desperate for some semblance of human connection. 

“I feel like I lived an entire life with her in these past six months. I know her better than most of her friends do, but I’m not even a blip on her radar. So now I'm just killing time.”

“Until what?” 

“Until I die. Until I give up and let you take my soul.”

He seems genuinely surprised at her confession, then she continues, “You’ve known all along, haven’t you?” 

“Known what?”

“That offering a life in which you don’t age seems like something that would last longer. But no one lasts longer than a standard lifetime, do they? People barely last a full lifetime.”

“The best kind of deals are the ones where you think you’ve won,” he shrugs arrogantly.

Lexa is fuming with anger at this point. Who preys on foster kids with lofty promises and rigged deals? This is so wrong, and yet she’s still so trapped, so lonely, that he still might win. 

“So, is this you waving the white flag?”

Lexa is about to say yes, to end it, and let him take her soul if it means the heartbreak stops. But suddenly, there she is. Wrapped in a knit scarf and a beanie, art supplies sprawled over a park bench as she draws the scene. Clarke. She looks beautiful, and seeing her there at this exact moment feels like a sign, and it gives Lexa the courage to tell the Darkness, “Not today.” 

-----------

Like a moth to a flame, she’s drawn closer to Clarke. But she’s wary of getting too close. Close enough to bask in her warmth, but not so close that she burns her wings. It’s a delicate line to tightrope her way across. Especially in the aching loneliness of the holidays. 

Clarke is drawing people, as she always does. So Lexa decides to stand near enough that she’ll inspire another piece, but not so close that she risks falling into conversation with her. That’s too risky. Too easy to fall back into her orbit. Too easy to get sucked into another devastating heartbreak. 

So Lexa is content to watch from afar. To watch Clarke's eyes light up when she captures a moment on the page. To watch her smile at the little kids learning to ice skate below the massive tree. To watch the colors of the tree reflect off her blonde hair and the snow get caught in her lashes. It makes her chest swell with longing, so full it begins to ache. 

It’s not her fault a family asks her to take a photo of them. To get the full tree in the frame she had to take a few steps back. It’s not her fault that happened to be in Clarke’s direction. It’s out of her control that Clarke watched the whole interaction, watched the silly faces she made to get the baby to look in the right direction. 

She was trying to avoid her. To be close, but not too close, but Clarke noticed her this time. It’s not her fault. 

“That was adorable,” Clarke says, gesturing at the small family happily peering at the photos Lexa had just taken. 

“I couldn’t let the baby ruin the photo by looking over there,” Lexa blushes. 

Clarke just smiles at her, “Hi.”

“Hi.”

Lexa doesn't try to continue the conversation. She very intentionally turns her attention back to the tree and the ice skaters below, but she should have accounted for Clarke. Clarke, who has no hesitations in starting a conversation with a pretty stranger, who always talks to new people like they’re old friends. 

“Can I draw you?” she asks. 

“Sure.”Always. She knows she’s breaking a promise to herself, but instead of being rude or dismissive, she caves to blue eyes and a soft smile. 

Clarke has her turn around to face her, lean back on the railing and prop her elbows on it. She wants to get the whole tree in the background, and Lexa tries to steady her breathing to prepare for the intimacy of sustained eye contact while Clarke draws her. Again.   

They make idle chit chat while she works. Lexa keeps her answers short, just shy of curt. She doesn’t return the questions because she already knows Clarke’s answers. Instead, she focuses on the pink tongue poking out between Clarke’s teeth. The little freckle above her lip. Those eyes. Lexa blinks and Clarke is teasing her about something she said over fries. Those eyes are full of mirth and still feel like home. She blinks again and sees the same cocky twinkle looking up from between her legs. 

She has to get out of here. 

But Clarke’s not quite finished, and Lexa is a glutton for punishment. So she stays to model, letting Clarke's eyes trace the curve of her ass. The jut of a jawline. It’s a divine sort of torture. 

But she can’t let it go any further. She can’t, she can’t, she can’t. She’s not strong enough. She’s too afraid to get caught up in a conversation. To end up tangled in bed with Clarke yet again. Her heart can’t take it. 

The second she sees Clarke finish, she literally runs away. It’s not her proudest moment. Or her most well-thought-out, but she’s on survival mode now, and it is what needed to be done. 

Safely on the other side of the rink, she takes one last look at Clarke, who just finished signing her name to the bottom of the piece. Lexa watches her look around in confusion. Glancing down at the piece then up, looking for the model and seeing nothing. Not recognizing the face. Not remembering the brief conversation they had while she worked. Drawing a blank. And Lexa’s heart shatters once again.

[goldenhypen]

— figure skater!sunghoon x skating teacher!reader // fluff, established relationship!au // 0.7k

— requested by a lovely anon! <3 // 500 followers event // prompt 7. holding hands

— a/n. time to simp over figure skater hoon again 🤧 also sorry if there are any inaccuracies lol i didn’t think i was that old but thinking about it, i haven’t taken a skating class for probably nearly a decade skdjsk 💀

“hoon, what are you doing?!” you whisper-yelled to your boyfriend so as to not cause a scene.

“i’m here to take your class,” he said, jokingly annoyed. “i thought you said this class was welcome to all.”

you skated closer to your boyfriend, “but you’re like a pro, hoon. this class is for beginners!”

he shrugged and repeated, “you said this class was welcome to all.”

he then skated off to join the rest of the group, all of whom were little kids, ages ranging from as young as four years to as old as ten. and there, towering over all of the tiny boys and girls was your boyfriend with a wide grin plastered on his face, excited to get started. you even watched as he began hyping all of them up, causing you to let out a small chuckle.

after you started the class, you went through many safety rules and with help, you got them to do some skating back and forth around the rink to get warmed up and get used to being on the ice.

you skated along with them, watching attentively if anyone needed help, and while you were, your eyes couldn’t help but be drawn once in a while to your boyfriend as he so elegantly glided around the rink.

every one of your students ended up being much better than you thought, and later during the class, you gave them an introduction on how to skate backwards. you ordered them to get into a line and skate, following a path you had created on the ice with a marker. as each of them went, you held their hand to guide them, and when it came to the last person, you looked at him and laughed slightly.

“hey, aren’t you gonna give me your hand?” your boyfriend pouted, holding his right one out for you to take, but you just crossed your arms, looking at him with disbelief but also unable to keep your face straight.

“everyone else got to hold your hand,” he gave you puppy eyes, practically begging for his hand to be held by yours.

you eventually gave in, knowing he would hold up the whole class, and when you interlocked your fingers with his, a smile rose to his face once again. and as expected, he had no difficulty at all; whether he had your hand or not, skating backwards was as easy as walking for the boy.

once his turn was finished, he smirked at you which caused you to playfully roll your eyes at him before continuing the lesson.

when the class came to an end, one of the small boys, five years old, went up to sunghoon, frowning, “is teacher y/n your girlfriend?”

“hey, little man! yeah, she is my girlfriend,” he smiled proudly but after seeing the boy’s expression, he turned concerned. “why? is there something wrong?”

“but i want her to be my girlfriend!” he responded frustratedly.

this caused your boyfriend to laugh, finding the five-year-old adorable. sunghoon went to you and took your hand, raising it for the boy to see.

“sorry to tell you, man, but she’s taken,” sunghoon said to him apologetically.

hearing this, you turned your head to face the two, confused and curious about the conversation they were having.

“but don’t worry. i’m sure you’ll get an amazing girlfriend in the future, and though she won’t be as good as teacher y/n—“ his eyes met yours, smiling “—because she’s the best of the best and she’s taken, there’s still always the chance to see teacher y/n every week here!”

your lips turned up into a smile, looking at sunghoon with love and appreciation.

the little boy looked down somewhat disappointed before nodding and smiling. he thanked you and sunghoon before waving goodbye.

“that was cute,” you laughed.

“i only spoke the truth,” sunghoon grinned back at you.

his eyes then trailed down to your lips before quickly leaning in and kissing you softly. before you could even process any of it, he pulled away, taking your hand in his. he made use of this opportunity and time to do his favourite activity with his favourite person on the planet, skating along the ice for a little longer with no kids to interrupt him and his love for you.

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