#haven’t been that active here lately but things are chill

[1roentgen]

.

[sitp-recs]

hello loveliest liv :) it's almost semester break for me which means a lot of time for reading drarry! (...as if i haven't been procrastinating all term reading drarry anyway... but shhhh)

so i am coming to you, my most trusted drarry reccer, cup in hand, begging for some lovely, long, plotty recs, pretty please? i'd take anything you have to offer (except for horror-themes they make me queasy ups)

sending love x

Hello my darling! Ahh how nice, you deserve a lovely and chill break full of Drarry treats! I can’t wait to leave on vacation in early August myself 🙏🏼 I did two lists with long, plotty recs (here and here) but it was a while back so I thought I’d add some more. I haven’t read much this year tbh, but really enjoyed these long-ish fics. Happy readings!

your braids like a pattern by @hoko-onchi-writes (E, 31k)

Harry soldiers on with the get-to-know you activity, noting each counsellor's interests and repeating their names. Harry’s eyes land on Malfoy. He’s the last counsellor in the circle. One blond eyebrow is arched, his smirky mouth turned up at the corners. That can’t be good.

À Bon Chat by @oknowkiss (E, 35k)

Draco Malfoy didn’t intend to lead a life of crime after the war. It’s just that being good had turned out so incomprehensibly boring. Now he's thirty-five, a fully redeemed member of society, the darling of the wizarding social pages, and a newly minted consultant for Gawain Robards' Investigative Research division. In his spare time, he enjoys good whisky, casual sex, and moonlighting as an art thief.

Truth to Materials by @toomuchplor, lately (E, 54k)

In which Harry learns to appreciate art and other pleasures of the flesh.

this heaven of mud by @garagepaperback (E, 94k)

winter, 2002: Draco Malfoy is absolutely fine, thank you very much. summer, 2008: Harry Potter is, er- well, not good exactly, but definitely better. Yeah. Better than before. A love story told in two somewhat unreliable parts, over six years. Featuring secret shagging, to friends, to the 'how is it fair for someone to say your name like that' sort of friends, to, finally, someone you could call a home.

Never Mind the Bollocks by @the-sinking-ship (E, 118k)

If someone told Harry six months ago that by autumn he would be single, living on whisky and toast, and dancing the night away with Draco Malfoy, he would have told them to get their head checked. And yet, here he was.

Beholden by @faith2wood (E, 123k)

Draco Malfoy might not be a killer, but it turns out he's an effective painkiller. If stopping pain was all Draco's touch did, things might not be so complicated, but either way Harry can't afford to be choosy.

[awesomeferret10]

I would like to talk about Ianthony as of post April 1st 2024. (With obvious parallels to both The Event and Dan and Phil)

1. I see a lot of people like obsessively combing over every glance and reading into every word which isn’t anything new but I feel has really kicked up a notch lately. My general response to this is the ianthony “relationship” label shouldn’t matter. They obviously love each other platonically or anything else and I think it’s important sometimes to take a step back from your theorizing and hyperventilating to just enjoy them as people and their friendship and how much they care

2. Keep in mind this isn’t like Dan and Phil. They aren’t young people who haven’t been given the opportunity to discover/express themselves. They both still confidently state they’re straight up to a couple of months ago. When they’ve actively been asked for over 10 years what their sexuality is constantly I feel as though maybe they would have done some internal exploration of their sexualities by now. Obviously sexualities aren’t static and labels don’t matter. Gender and sex is nothing compared to the connection of people and often sexuality labels can be completely overridden or thrown into question by one person. On top of the fact that Anthony has essentially stated this himself of “you never know 🤷‍♂️” but like. They still both are confident in the label of straight. So chill out a little.

3. The crew shipping them isn’t some like inside joke within the smoffice. It’s an inside joke within the community THAT WE ARE ALL INSIDE OF. It’s a joke built by years of Ian and Anthony playing into fans questions for views and the fact that many of their employees were previously Smosh fans. So although it’s funny that all the editors and cast and crew are playing into it more than Ian and Anthony themselves in the videos remember it’s not proof of anything. They’re just being silly goofy.

4. I get it. Because before The Event I was very dismissive of every shourtney shipper. I enjoyed their genuine connection as best friends and people who clearly loved each other. But every time I saw something pointing out “oh Courtney said this” “oh look how Shayne looked at them here” I had the “this isn’t 2010 guys when will you give it up they’re just besties” reaction. I never thought people were insane for noticing that possible connection but I also just thought people were driving themselves mad reading into stuff. Obviously a lot of the things people pointed out are still probably nothing because again people were analyzing literally every microsecond.

5. Like no seriously I get it. On inspection Ian and Anthony make fuck me eyes at each other. Like constantly. They look at each other like there’s no one else in the world sometimes. The behind the scenes for my dead friend where they just spend 2 minutes with Ian trying to stick something in Anthony’s pocket while both of them are giggling is literally middle school flirting. Anthony tearing up at the story of best friends turned lovers. Little bit dramatic king. Like we all know why Shayne and Courtney love that story. But Anthony dude. After going through April 1st 2024 I totally understand not wanting to discard any of the shit these two idiots say. And it’s also really funny since they’ve proven they don’t care. Just want everyone to remember to be careful to just enjoy them soley as a duo without the conspiracy of a relationship on occasion.

[respectthepetty]

Hi!!!

I haven’t even fully watched Last Twilight (I think I’m on episode 2 lol) but I’ve kept up with all the gifs and metas and let me say I am ANGRY at Day after the snippets I’ve gotten on tumblr about breaking up with Mhork. I hope they don’t get back together in episode 12 because let’s be real, that boy deserves better!!! I hope Day realizes his mistake but it’s too late because he hurt Mhork so deeply. Mhork literally gave Day his heart and soul and explained all of his raw trauma and then Day threw it on the ground and stomped on it just because of his own insecurities!!! I’m so angry I don’t think I’m going to enjoy actually watching the show because I’m just going to be glaring at Day the whole time. I hope Mhork goes to Hawaii and finds happiness and Day reflects on his life 😤

-MA

MA, I can't encourage you to finish it or not. That's not my style. But I know Aof deserves my watch. He has given me great show after great show and all have featured excellent queer stories. Not only has he written some of these shows, he has directed them as well as produced even more!

I respect Aof.

Which is why even though Only Friends is in Petty Prison and I hated it unlike others who greatly enjoyed it, I finished it because Jojo, much like Aof, has given me so many other great watching experiences like The Warp Effect and 3 Will Be Free. Because what is one bad moment in the grand scheme of Jojo's career or Aof's outstanding career?

And here is the other thing:

I hated Bad Buddy.

Which was also from Aof. I hated it while watching it when Pat was shot on Christmas Eve. I hated when it was done because of that "breakup" at the end of episode 11 and the continued ruse in episode 12 even though the audience had been in on all their shenanigans up until that point. I hated that it was paired with Aof's masterpiece A Tale of Thousand Stars in the Our Skyy installments just so I would have to see Pat and Pran keep pretending they weren't in a relationship even they were actively watching a queer couple breaking up. And I'll always hate it.

But the crowd loved it.

So . . . I believe the crowd is going to love the ending of Last Twilight too while I'm still chilling here six years from now mad about the ending of episode 11 since I'm petty.

I hold grudges and water them daily like plants in a garden. Be My Favorite forgave Knot even though he was awful every second of his screen time. *points hose in its direction* Teh stayed messing up in I Told Sunset About You then had the audacity to cheat in I Promised You the Moon. *blasts some water in its direction* Team needed therapy in Between Us not sex. *turns sprinkler on* HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count exists. *dumps a bucket of water on the ground*

Perhaps wait until the last episode has aired and check the tags. I assure you there will be plenty of people who love it. They will be singing the shows praises and how amazing the narrative was. People will be laughing about how we even questioned the genius of the show after this episode instead of trusting the process.

But as for me, hopefully Night and Phojai are getting married and the simple fact that I am rooting harder for the hets in a BL finale should tell y'all all you need to know about my petty ass.

Now excuse me as I need to go start digging a little hole for the newest addition in my Grudge Garden.

[kazenokox22]

part 1 - freedom

scaramouche x reader synopsis: you are an escaped prisoner from snezhnaya who was tested on extensively. you take on an alias as you escape to the sumeru akademiya to start a new life. during your studies you come across an eccentric man who seems oddly familiar… setting: this takes place after the events of the scaramouche/wanderer interlude quest, as lore accurate as possible except for your character. topics: romance, slow burn, lost memories, past trauma, adventure, revenge note: this is written in first person but still meant to be for the reader :)

Freedom was something I thought I would never experience again.

I’ve been traveling south, desperately trying to shake off the chill of my former home. Although, “home” isn’t really what I would call it - prison is more fitting. Or ice-covered hell. 

Snezhnaya is nothing like it was when I was a child. Of course, I was locked up for eternity, and I can say that because it has been more years than any human could ever live. Something they did to me stopped me from aging. I quit wishing for death a few hundred years ago or so, and I also stopped counting the years. 

I paused my hike as I approached my destination. I scanned over the giant, beautiful tree that was in front of me. The greenery I had already experienced through Sumeru was stunning, but what lay before me was magnificent. Maybe it was the twinge of hope tugging at my chest making me sensitive. Either way, I trudged on. 

Ironically, being locked up by scientists made me yearn for knowledge. I wanted to outsmart them to escape, but I’ve always been naturally curious. I knew about the Akademiya before… well, when I was young. But, I also heard tons about it from my captors. I knew this was my destination a long time ago.

Getting enrolled ended up being way easier than I thought. During my journey I met a mysterious woman, Lisa. We were passing through the same village and she came up to me in the tavern. 

“Hello, may I sit?” the voice woke me from my trance. I looked up to see a beautiful woman smiling at me, curiosity and a hint of something I can’t really describe poking through her emerald eyes. 

“Yes, go ahead,” I said, shaking off my confusion. I half-smiled while she sat. I waited. 

She studied me briefly. 

“You’ve been traveling for a while haven’t you? You poor thing,” she murmured. She looked sincere, but it didn’t really seem like it was pity that filled her words. She seemed amused. 

“Yes,” I answered. I was being cautious - I didn’t really need to talk to many people to get by. There was still a chance they would come looking for me, but they had gotten bored with me long ago. I doubt they would bother. 

I realized the silence had gone on too long. I noticed her Electro Vision. Mondstadt. 

“I’m heading to Sumeru City - to the Akademiya,” I decided it was a normal thing to be doing. 

She smiled. “Of course,” she leaned in, “but I think classes have already started.”

I tensed. Her tone was skeptical. What did she know? I hadn’t fully figured out my change in identity. I needed to stay hidden as I was supposed to be dead according to official records. Unofficially… my captors could find me. I haven’t decided if I’m worth their time but I would rather not risk it. I don’t think they would actively seek me out but if they happened to come across me…

She noticed my tension. 

“I apologize, I am not here to interrogate you. My name is Lisa, an Akademiya Alumni,” she then lowered her voice, “I’m simply venturing a curiosity of mine, off the record,” she winked. 

“Nice to meet you,” I replied. “What is this curiosity?”

She changed the subject. “How are you able to start this late in the year? The Akademiya has very strict rules about that kind of thing,” she said. She knew the answer, yet she asked anyway. 

Was it that obvious that I was out of place? I knew this would be a problem when I got there, I just wasn’t expecting to think about it now. The Akademiya has strict entrance requirements, and I don’t even have a real identity at this point. 

Wait, she totally ignored my question. 

“What are you getting at?” I demanded. 

“Let’s just say I have a sixth sense for those who are… gifted. Let’s also say that I don’t care what their real name is or where they came from. They love me at the Akademiya,” she stood up and headed for the door. “See you in the morning!” she called and then she was gone. 

Maybe she was just crazy. I was very confused on what she was talking about, but I sensed power in her. I decided I would humor her, and headed off to bed. 

In the morning, I went to the same table from last night. The tavern was empty, as expected. There was an envelope on the table. I opened it carefully - I had a feeling it was from Lisa. It was full of documents. They all listed the same name: 

Zena Silva

It had birth records, school transcripts, medical documents, and a copy of a Sumeru Akademiya acceptance letter. I swallowed my gasp and rushed out the door.

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Watching the sunsets while exploring the streets of Stormbreaker Wharf

I know this sounds cliche, but I just really love sunsets. It’s amazing to see the sky turn into all these different colors - reds, oranges, yellows, grays, blues, purples - I just find it breathtaking. Each sunset comes with its own unique palette of colors and I think that’s just neat.

Stormbreaker Wharf is one of those places that comes to life after sunset. Aside from the breathtaking view of the sea and sky, a lot of food stands and shops open up as the harbor becomes bustling with activity. It’s basically a night market, which are fun to explore because the streets hits differently at night.

I don’t know why, being out at night feels a lot more carefree compared to the day. Like in the daytime, you’re usually focusing on getting as much done as you can, while at night, you’re just kinda there leisurely strolling around. There seems to be a lot less pressure to get things done, so you’re more just vibing and chilling, taking in the atmosphere and just going wherever catches your eye. In a night market, there’s a lot of things worth checking out, whether you’re in the mood to check out the shops or unwind by enjoying some drinks and good food.

Over here, the days are short while the nights are long. As a result, most of the residents are night owls, which makes sense because of the harbor being at its busiest around midnight - something about timezones making it work out that way. Most of the boats come a really long way overseas, so I imagine that the people are really jetlagged. Also, stopping at a place that operates at late night hours is really helpful since in most places, everything would be closed, which sucks during a long layover.

Now with the addition of the Thundervalley Bridge up north, the wharf is going to become even more busier. Dixie knows one of the engineers who worked on the bridge and wanted to meet up with him before he moves on to his next big project. In fact, that engineer friend of hers was the one who gave her the cottage and boat in Swan Isle.

Of course, Emilie, Valerie, and Gram are tagging along with Dixie on her travels. It turns out that the engineer, Brennan, was a friend of Gram’s father. They haven’t seen each other since his father’s funeral a few years ago and he was surprised to find out that he’s been living with Ann. He said he met her a few times and in his honest opinion, he preferred her over his friend’s ex-wife. It wasn’t that she was a bad person or anything, it’s mostly the fact that they didn’t have much in common, which happens.

Sometimes you meet someone and they just don’t click with you even when you do get along well. I’ve met people who I wouldn’t mind hanging out with and getting to know more, but at the same time I kinda knew that it would be unlikely that our relationship would go beyond surface level for a variety of reasons - like coming from different circles and have little to nothing that brings some sort of meaningful connection. Sure, things can change in the future, but sometimes you just have to accept that there’s nothing wrong with not wanting to get close with someone that you don’t really vibe with.

Gram’s still trying to work things out with his mother, but his stepfather’s another story. It’s a similar case where he doesn’t exactly dislike him, they just have nothing in common. Since his stepfather travels a lot for work, it wouldn’t have made a difference if he was living with his mother because he was rarely home. His stepfather’s also the kind of person who expects others to just go along with whatever he says or does, though Gram says at least he’s a bit more lenient and understanding compared to his mother, who he describes as difficult to reason with sometimes.

Brennan said it was the same with his ex-wife, she was the kind of person who called the shots and expects everyone to follow her lead. In her case, she happens to be a politician - the kind who’s all talk and ego, according to Dixie. The only reason why they stayed together for so long was for the sake of their daughter Lynnie, who he regretted not spending enough time with. Both their careers took off and make them even more like strangers, especially with him traveling overseas for months at a time while his ex-wife focused on her campaign, leaving their daughter under the care of their housekeeper, who he barely knew.

To make up for his absence, he bought Lynnie a boat since sailing was one of the few things they bonded over. They weren’t really close as he wanted them to be, but they always got along well, and she was always eager for him to spend more time at home. Years later, he’s still beating himself up for not doing so. Eventually, his relationship with his wife was so nonexistent that they were basically strangers. By then, Lynnie was graduating from high school in a few months, and so he felt that it was time to finally divorce. He consulted Lynnie first, and she agreed it was for the best. The only thing she asked of him was if she could move in with him, which he agreed to.

Unfortunately, things didn’t work out for Brennan and Lynnie. Something came up at work, so he was unable to attend her graduation, something he’ll never forgive himself for. And then he was told that she died from an unexpected brief illness, which obviously isn’t really the truth, just something to avoid making her mother the politician look bad. The truth was, as he suspected, that his daughter was going through a rough patch and her mother basically gave her some unhelpful advice that might have made things worse.

Lynnie’s best friend later confided to him that she and the housekeeper suspected that Lynnie might be binging and purging. They tried to talk to her about it, only to be met with denial. Also, with no evidence, they couldn’t prove anything. Brennan later found out that his ex-wife knew but didn’t do a fucking thing about it because she apparently didn’t think it was a huge deal. Sounds like the kind of person who’s like don’t die to someone who’s dying - yeah, huge help you are. Well, it turns out that Lynnie’s destructive habit resulted in a ruptured esophagus, and she bled to death on the bathroom floor.

How awful. I can’t imagine what life was like for Lynnie to grow up with a father who clearly loved her, but maybe not enough to stick around for a long time. Then she has a hot shot politician for a mother, someone who put a lot of pressure on her to succeed because she figured that if she could do it, why can’t her daughter? The mother is likely the reason why Lynnie fell into the vicious cycle of binging and purging, but that’s just my speculation.

Dixie said she met Lynnie a few times and saw her as a bright girl. Her mother, however, is another story. She didn’t go into much detail, but it’s clear what she thought about her. From what I’ve learned about the mother, especially the time she used the press to make a mockery of a drug addict’s death, and now learning more about Lynnie, I can’t say that I have a high opinion of her too. Also, in terms of politics, I find her to be the kind who uses progressive language to sound inclusive and all but what she’s really saying is a bunch of centrist BS that serves to maintain the status quo for people like her - rich white upper class folks.

Since then, Brennan’s completely cut his ties with his ex, who fell out of favor once word came out about what really happened to her daughter. With no one left to come home to, he’s completely focused on work and nothing else. I get what he’s saying because he should be proud of what he’s accomplished, but I also can’t help but feel sorry for him too. Dixie and Gram said that he’s a nice guy, but he was always the workaholic type, which is why he doesn’t have much going for him outside of work.

Emilie’s been there herself and she knows from experience that a lot of workaholics throw themselves into this state is because they don’t want to deal with the outside world for various reasons. One being that they can’t simply turn off their work mode, so they’re constantly running on that to the point where they make their job part of their personality. The last part about making their job their personality, that’s like legit something I absolutely do not want to happen to me. A job’s a job, that’s it, and I want to keep it that way. And there’s some who feel like they have to work in order to feel useful, to prove to themselves and others that they’re worthy and deserving of respect. That’s also not right because your worth shouldn’t be determined based on that.

In short, workaholic = not good. Brennan’s a nice person, but his life does seem kinda empty in the sense that he’s putting everything into his career and nothing else. Sure, it’s one thing to be proud of the work you do and you legitimately enjoy your job, but I don’t think it’s healthy to live life solely like a cog in a machine, if that makes sense.

While it was nice hearing his enthusiasm over the bridge, which sounds like a big deal, we can’t help but feel kinda sorry for him. I don’t know how to explain it other than emptiness. Like, yes, he is and should be proud of being part of something that will change a bunch of people’s lives for the better. I mean, his career as a whole is pretty damn impressive, not gonna lie. It’s just that, again, he seems to be driven by that unhealthy hustle culture mindset where his life seems to only revolve around advancing his career while everything else is just a waste of time.

Emilie’s been down that road before, thinking that nothing else mattered in life other than her career - which she enjoyed and found very fulfilling because she made a difference in people’s lives. But she got too involved and that eventually took a toll on her as she neglected pretty much every other aspect of her life. That’s why she has a complicated relationship with her parents, who were career driven to the point that she wasn’t a priority in their lives. Now they all have regrets for all the times where they put their jobs over their wellbeing and their relationships, something that Emilie’s intent on trying to fix. Unfortunately, not everything can be resolved with time, especially if it ran out a long time ago - like with Brennan and Lynnie.

Time’s one of those things we often take for granted too easily, giving us the illusion that we have plenty of it. But life circumstances can quickly change that, leaving us wondering, “Why didn’t I say or do that when I still had the chance?” You can’t go back, so it’s just something you have to live with, and accept, and just move forward.

Emilie’s able to do that. I hope Brennan eventually figures it out. For now though, he’s focused on his next big project, a bridge in Pine Oak Valley, a large trading center similar to Stormbreaker Wharf. Sounds like a big undertaking, so I wish him luck.

While enjoying cocktails and fried seafood, we ran into Blossom, who also came to check out the night market. To say that she’s been having a rough time since Fern moved back home is an understatement. To be honest, we all think she got off too lightly - I mean, her career in the entertainment industry is pretty much dead, but in terms of legal consequences, she and her accomplices basically got a light slap on the wrist for stealing thousands of dollars, exploiting a disabled person, and harassing people in order to let a sexual predator walk free. I’m sure there’s more to it than that, it’s just that those examples were what people were talking about the most.

What’s worse is that she has never apologized for her actions, the main reason being that refuses to accept that what she did was wrong on so many levels. Blossom said their grandma never figured that Fern would be kind of person who pulls the ladder up from behind after reaching the top. I don’t know what her line of work was in the entertainment industry, but it’s sadly not surprising how an environment like that can change a person. Give them a little power and it all goes to their head, like they think they’re invincible or something.

Blossom’s trip to Stormbreaker was an impromptu one - she just needed to get away from home for a while. She says that Fern’s changed too much in a bad way and she’s worried about her. On one hand, she feels bad because Fern’s at a low point in her life, but that doesn’t give her the excuse to lash out at everyone and play the victim to avoid responsibilities. I agree, it sucks when a family member, someone you care about a lot, hits rock bottom and is struggling to get up in the morning. But I think it’s also important to set boundaries and not let them use you as an emotional punching bag. Obviously, that’s easier said than done, it’s an example of communication has to work both ways in order to move through this rough patch.

However, Fern has gone too far and Blossom’s finally had enough. Ever since moving back home, half their conversations are arguments with Fern making condescending remarks about how Blossom lives her life - petty for the sake of being petty. Blossom suspects it’s not jealousy, it’s more like resentment, saying “You don’t deserve to be happy, I should be the one living the better life because I’m smarter, prettier, more popular…” People with superior complexes really can’t stand to see others succeed, especially those who they consider to be beneath them. To live with that mindset is just sad.

Sure, siblings fight often, but I’m pretty sure most people wouldn’t go so far as to deliberately injure another. Blossom came home super late after adventuring with the Professor, and since she had nothing going on the next day, she decided to sleep in. Apparently, Fern took issue with that, so she took her curling wand, which she turned on to the highest setting, and slapped it on Blossom’s hand to wake her up. Like, what the fuck? Then she insulted Blossom by calling her lazy for sleeping in, all the while she was pinning her down on the bed so she couldn’t get up.

Fern would’ve held her down longer if their grandmother hadn’t walked in and demanded an explanation. Then she had the nerve to insist that it was Blossom’s fault for burning her own hand, which their grandma obviously didn’t buy. Since Fern had held the curling wand against her hand for more than a few seconds, cold water and ointment didn’t do too much to help, so Blossom’s grandma took her to an urgent care. Thankfully the burn wasn’t too deep, or else she’d probably have to go to the emergency room. But since it’s her right hand, Blossom will have to adjust with using her left hand. She’s not too happy about not being able to do a lot of things for the time being since she’s a hands-on person who likes to do arts and crafts, which was probably why Fern did that. Though that’s nothing compared to the pain she’s in, physically and mentally.

Not surprisingly, Fern skipped town afterwards, though Blossom says she tends to do that after fighting with their parents. She spends a couple days at home, gets in some sort of trouble, and then spends the next week or so couch surfing before returning home more bitter and angry. Sounds like someone’s burning bridges. It’s gotten to the point where Blossom dreads coming home because there’s a likely chance Fern will be waiting.

Now she has more reasons to be afraid, which is not acceptable. Their parents are intent on forgiving and forgetting by brushing that whole incident under the rug. However, Blossom and her grandma do not agree because they’re afraid that things might get worse. So do I. Even if the burning incident was a one off thing, which it likely is, it’s still unacceptable. No one should ever feel unsafe around their own family. That shit needs to be addressed before it escalates into something worse.

I think the best thing Blossom can do right now is get away to clear her head. As much as she wants to be there for Fern, she can’t let her get away with playing the victim all the time. Fern’s a grown adult who needs to take responsibility for her actions, something she clearly refuses to accept. Blossom can only do so much to help, but if her safety’s at risk because Fern can’t keep her temper in check, then she has to step away. You can’t help someone who refuses to be helped, nor should you stick around someone who is intent on hurting you.

It’s a tough call, especially when it comes to family, someone you were once close to. I think right now, Blossom needs to distance herself from Fern as much as she can for her own safety and sanity. At least being out here has been helping her a lot in terms of getting her mind off things, and her grandma’s coming to join her tomorrow. She doesn’t have any plans other than enjoying food and drinks at the night market and marveling at the sunsets, which sounds good to me. I’ll drink to that!

Read on AO3

[harlowhockeystick]

okay here is what I have to offer (pt 1) (totally not projecting anything)

so like a couple months into this whole situationship flirty friends-to-lovers thing brock and reader have going on he notices she starts to seem a little… off? she’s tired and not as chatty or funny as usual, never wants to come out with the group for drinks or even really make small talk with anyone etc etc and he’s in his head like is it me?? did I do something?? and maybe he makes a comment to her closest friend at the office that like hey… has she seemed weird to you lately?? and the friend is like yeah this happens every once in a while it’s just mental health stuff she deals with she’ll get through it but it kills brock to think of you going through something like that alone, he realizes he wants to be there for you not just when you’re making him laugh so hard he can’t breathe, and smiling that pretty smile at the dumb note he left on your desk, he wants to be there all the fucking time no matter what. so the next friday when you again turn everyone down for drinks and head home he’s just like, no, I’m going to Do Something. so he texts you (and maybe y’all have done this a few times but haven’t in a while bc … depression) and is like “hey wanna have a movie night tonight?? I can bring food over or come pick you up and we can grab something on the way back to mine?” and she’s like a little caught off guard bc she hasn’t really been much fun lately and was worried maybe she was losing him but she was too caught up in her depression/anxiety to really do something about it but she tells him to come over and he does and brings so much food and way more snacks than are required for one night because “hey I didn’t know what you’d want!” and they watch some cheesy rom com or something and slowly snuggle towards each other on the couch until she is like fully on his lap and she’s like “hey um, thank you for doing this, I’m sorry I’ve been a little distant lately” and he’s like “it’s no problem, I wanted to, (friends name) told me maybe something was up and I thought I could maybe make you feel a little better at least for one night” and she thinks she could kiss him and cry at the same time but they are not There yet so she opts to place a kiss on his like jaw/cheek and is like “you really didn’t have to do all this but it means a lot to me, thank you” and he just shrugs and says “I like doing things for you” and kisses the top of her head and at this point her heart is BEATING out of her chest and she pretends to check the time on her phone and is like “hey it’s getting kinda late, (it’s like 9:30 but if she doesn’t ask now she never will) do you wanna stay here tonight maybe?” and hes like I would love to but I can’t leave coolie and milo alone for the night, wanna come sleep at mine? and he’s like you can bring your dog and they can all have a sleepover too and she’s like oh we’re having sleepovers now? are we 12 year old girls? and hes like it was your suggestion missy and she’s like good point let me pack a bag and the whole drive to his place she’s giddy like she is a 12 year old girl going to a sleepover and she’s been to his place before but she’s never slept there let alone done All of This so when she goes to get out of the car she’s like wait oh my god what if he just feels bad for me what if he’s just doing all of this because (friend) told him I was depressed and he feels like he can’t say no but as if on cue he just goes “don’t move” and comes around to her door and opens it for her with a cheesy smile on his face and it makes her laugh and god he loves her laugh and then grabs her bag from where its sitting at her feet and holds his hands out to take her dog so she can get up (I’m imagining its like a fairly small dog that can chill on her lap, active enough to hike and whatever but not as big as brock’s dogs) and he hands her back the dog and takes her bag and leads her to the elevator and while they walk down the hall to his place she’s like “thank you for doing this, you really didn’t have to but I like spending time with you” and hes like “you think we’re having a sleepover because I don’t?”

pt 2:

and she giggles at his use of the word sleepover again and goes “I guess not” and he opens the door and milo and coolie come running up to them and he’s like “plus I knew they’d be excited to see you too” and she’s like “they’re probably more excited to see (her dogs name)” and hes like fine maybe a little of that too and then is like brb and goes to put her bag in his room and when he comes back he’s like “wine??” and how could she say no to that and they’re drinking and giggling and talking about their lives and her feet end up in his lap (this is a maroon by taylor swift reference obv) and his hand is on her knee and his thumb is rubbing back and forth and the lamp behind her is making her look like she has a halo and he sets his wine glass down and puts his other hand on her waist (does that make sense I can’t tell) and she’s like Oh it’s never been There before and and he goes (in his shy adorable suddenly nervous little way) “um hey?” and she quirks her head like “yeah?” and he says “can I kiss you?” and she bites back a smile and nods and he thumbs her bottom lip out from between her teeth and pulls her face towards his and kisses her so softly and kind of without thinking her hands are in his hair and neither of them wants to come up for air because god is this everything and she swears she doesn’t mean to but she tugs on his hair a little bit and she feels the hand that was on her knee come underneath her other one to pull her legs apart a little and she takes that as her cue to swing her leg over and straddle him which based on the situation she can now feel in his crotch area was in fact the right move but she has to break their lips apart to do it and she takes the opportunity to take in his messy hair and flushed cheeks and the smile that’s plastered across his face before he’s pulling her back in by her hips because how could he stop kissing her and they makeout a few minutes longer before they are pulled from their moment by the sound of barking and brock is too focused on the way her body feels pressed against his like this to care but she pulls away with a confused face before she looks around to see coolie at the door wanting to be let out to pee and turns back to brock who’s also now realized what’s going on and is letting out a dramatic groan and she throws her head back with a laugh at his theatrics before meeting his eyes and saying “we should probably do something about that” and he doesn’t miss the way she says “we” like it’s their place and their responsibility to let the dogs out before bed and he’s like “I guess we should yeah” and pats her thigh gently before helping her off of him and standing up and she starts to gather the wine glasses and figure out how to shut the tv off and he’s like “don’t do all that I can do it in the morning” and she protests like “well I will at least help you in the morning” and he’s like fine fine now put this on it’s cold out and takes his hoodie off and hands it to her and she’s like “won’t you be cold then” and he honestly had not considered it because he wasn’t really thinking about himself right now and he gets this cheeky smile on his face and goes “guess you’ll have to keep me warm then” and she just laughs and rolls her eyes again and their moment is once again interrupted by dogs barking, this time all three are getting impatient by the door and he’s like “yeah yeah we’re coming” and she slips the hoodie on and follows him outside and tries not to get too lost in the fantasy of this, him and her and the dogs, maybe a few kids later if she really wants to get ahead of herself, being the rest of her life

ANON THIS IS AMAZING!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS SM!!!!!

[trashbinbackyard]

1-20 mhairi & ihn + whichever armed asshats pair you want

Let me put your anxieties at ease, this is my preferred way of getting these prompts, one shared pair and one i get to pick bc there’s blorbos brewing in my head

You get academic old man yaoi with Osman and Konstantin

1. What were their first impressions of one another?

I think they met for the first time when they were still starting out. Ihn has always respected Mhairi, and they’ve had a friendly rivalry going on. For many years he wasn’t romantically interested and everything was strictly professional/platonic. He would be lying if he said Mhairi wasn’t a looker tho

They met each other the first time in the academy d’Arcane when Osman was visiting a class and they sat next to each other, they were in their late 20’s. Osman thought Konstantin was intense and Konstantin thought Osman was too loud.

2 .What was their first date like? If they haven’t been on a date yet, how would it go? 

They were old and in a situation of a century ago agreeing to go on a date if they were single still and welp, widowed and tragically broken up with is one way to get there. So they picked a bar, went for drinks and then things might’ve gotten spicy

It was a study date in a cafe which also was the unofficial gathering place of all the city’s cats (the basis for Nia Vasileos in Istanbul so). They bonded over love of coffee, pastries and magic

3. It’s late at night and your characters want food, what do they order/find in the fridge? 

I bet Mhairi has all kinds of fancy stuff like fresh exotic fruits, nuts and the like, i get more ingredient house vibes from her than snack house, and also they’re both loaded so minimal cooking is done. She could also just call up some food. Ihn would rummage through the cabinets and curse not having any snacks handy so almonds it is, or call up some food.

Konstantin is a pretty picky eater, Osman not so much. Konstantin is also the type of guy to prepare meals so if Osman is hungry, one day’s meal might go missing. But they also keep a lot fruits in the house to satisfy most hunger pangs, and also bread

4. What’s a typical Sunday like for them? 

Ihn’s long retired so he does fuck all, naps thruout the day, reads, watches the news etc., grandpa activities Mhairi is welcome to join. He also likes following Mhairi around when she’s doing her thing, sorting out her stuff. Sunday is a lazy day

They’re both insanely busy, Osman serves the palace and the crescent university, and has his own pet projects, so Sunday’s for him is working on his own things like painting and drawing. Konstantin needs to check in on the academy every day but on Sundays he’s like “if something is not on fire right it can wait a day, and if something is on fire you have a building full of mages, figure something out”. So he’s at home chilling with Osman, makes them both afternoon coffee and reads in the same room Osman is painting in.

5. What’s their love language like? Are they compatible with one another? 

Quality time, acts of service for Ihn, third would be physical touch, he knows how the nedians get with touch.

Osman is loud and touchy, Konstantin is more reserved but he also likes physical affection, just somewhere no one can see. Quality time together too, what’s better than two academics having dinner

6. Do they have any pet names/nicknames for eachother? 

“Old [insert thing here]” but like, in a loving way

My beloved, love, etc in their native tongues, (haven’t come up with the regions they’re from but Konstantin is greek-ish and Osman would be arabic)

7. What do they argue about? 

I think their arguments have mostly been about how to handle something

Their most common argument is how the other doesn’t make enough time for the other

8. Who does what chores, and why? 

Hoooousekeeping

Konstantin cooks more, both clean up after each other, Osman handles fixing things and buying necessities

9. What’s the most difficult thing they’ve been through together? 

Ihn being widowed, losing his son and daughter-in-law, losing his granddaughter in a very short span of time. Mhairi’s dealings with Xiulan and the catastrophic end to that, they were always each other’s shoulder to cry on.

Dunno yet

10. How do they make up after a fight? 

Talk it through once calmed down, work together for a solution to whatever they were fighting about, kiss and make up

Osman writes an apology monologue worthy of awards and Konstantin will get Osman his favorite baklava

11. Who causes the most arguments? 

I think pretty equally, both can get really stubborn

Osman can be a little inconsiderate, but not maliciously, he’s just gets so excited about stuff he might forget to consult Konstantin

12. What would they say each other’s worst quality is? 

The other being stubborn, stuck in their way, Ihn has a bad habit of not taking things seriously until it blows up on his face, Ihn thinks Mhairi miiiight take a little too much joy out of putting people down but hey, captains gotta captain

Osman has his head in the clouds, and sometimes forgets to focus on things that matter more. Konstantin is 

13. What would they say each other’s best quality is? 

Ihn’s always loved Mhairi’s wit, and ambition

Osman is endlessly curious and creative. Konstantin is extremely loyal and intelligent (well they both are)

14. How would they describe one another if asked? 

It would be really hard to get Ihn to describe Mhairi in a genuine manner, but under all those layers of sarcasm, he thinks really highly of them, Mhairi is intelligent in both knowledge and socially, ambitious, ready to do everything to get what she wants, looks out for those who really matter to her. They’ve known each other for so long 

They both would say the other is the smartest man in Nia Vasileos. A big “no you” “no u” type of argument would ensue

15. What names are they saved as on each other’s phone? 

Ihn has Mhairi marked down as “ball and chain” ironically, he switches it sometimes to other weapons/guns

No phones, but both would refer to the other by their name

16. What would they consider quality time? 

Good food, good drinks, great backdrop, reminiscing about all their greatest heists.

17. Who decides which movies to watch? 

They insult each other into submission: “Oh you wanna watch *war movie*? what are you 900 years old?” / “very rich coming from the guy who wants to watch troy, you just wanna see 200 bare chested men”

They take turn on deciding which theater show to go see, their tastes are very similar

18. How are they like on a road trip together? 

Whenever they take an interplanetary trip, Ihn insists on being the pilot, that’s his bread and butter. Mhairi arranges the places they’ll be staying at

Long carriage/boat rides would be mostly spent napping and reading by them both

19. It’s raining, did either of your OCs bring an umbrella? If so, who, and do they share it? 

Mhairi has a large coat, she could hoist up in case of sudden rain. They both come prepared for the weather though most of the time, just one thing less to worry about, and you don’t get to rule a space pirate empire without knowing how to prepare.

Konstantin can just move the rain away from them, a trick Osman is trying to learn

20. What are they like when sharing a bed?

Ihn is way smaller, so little spoon, also he snores so he can’t be trusted to sleep on his back, also his back hurts most of the time, and his leg. Mhairi has similar ailments so I think there will be a lot pillows involved to prop things into the right angle 

Konstantin sleeps like carcass, on his back, unmoving. Osman wraps around him and Konstantin leans his head in to kiss him goodnight

[futelco]

Druids of Sisyphus Gardens Log

Like most years before it, 2022 was a fantastic year to be Druids in the woods. We enjoyed all the calls we received, even when the Callers needed to “talk at” more than “talk”.  This year we worked on a very quick explanation for callers thinking they called a wrong number. We love accidental calls too!

2/10 Voicemail. “Hello, my personal teleportation device has apparently left me in Portland, Oregon, in the year 2022. It is approximately-“ click

3/16 Caller just wanted to thank me or anyone for the Futel node on Taylor. Said they just have a burner phone, and Futel is just great.

4/8 Voicemail. “The prisoners have escaped from Sub-Unit 4 Alpha! Please initiate aerial search immediately! …Just kidding, this is a prank.”

4/10 Caller and I said “hi” and “hello” to each other four or five times. The traffic was really loud, but the caller was happy to have a new Futel in the neighborhood. We chatted about the weather and the Party Line zine. Caller claimed to be the printer. We wished each other great days.

4/28 Voicemail. “Keep pushing those trees up the hill!”

5/28 Operator called, and it was the clearest sounding Futel call ever. Hope those phone sanitation stations are still active. Save the human family.

6/28 (Caller was laughing throughout the entire call.) “Who is this?” The Druid of Sisyphus Gardens. “What is this?” A free phone, you can call anyone for free. “Free? I just put in a dime (haha)” You didn’t have to. “Why would anyone need this? (hah)” Well, not everyone has a cell phone. “But how does anyone make money off of this?” It’s a non-profit. “Now that’s how you make money, non-profits. (haha!)”

6/26 Caller from Detroit reported that it was actually hot in Detroit. Said that they had been to the Shakespeare festival in southern Oregon, and that they are really stoked about a working street phone. We co-lamented about the loss of the last working street phone in NYC.

6/30 A senior in high school was looking for Druidic advice. We spoke of school, hiking, and taking time out for friends.

7/17 Detroit called looking for the Druid, I confirmed it was the Druid. It was 89℉ in Detroit and 90℉ here. We talked about the weather, fire, and life. “OK.”

8/9 Portland caller wanted to visit the Druids. I asked if they knew anything about our woods, or if they were a random stranger. They knew about it from Futel, and are scared of the internet and the I-5. I gave them instructions anyway. As of 1/7/23 they haven’t shown up.

Sometime in late summer, I obtained a secret way to call the Upright Futel rotary phone. I called just as they had just repaired the phone moments before, coincidentally. The Upright operator was confused as to how the Druid was calling just then, and confused me in turn, and then a mob of customers entered, immediately ending the call.

9/3 Caller wanted to visit the Druids’ meditation retreat in Forest Park. This place does not exist, and I could not provide further information or wisdom to their inquiries. They asked if there is an option to call a priest instead.

9/25 Voicemail. “Who ARE you?” followed by “The Girl from Ipanema” for a full minute.

11/11 Answered as the Druid of Sisyphus Gardens. “I was trying to call myself” I explained that I was not them, but they weren’t sure. I told them that it would be really weird if I was, and maybe this was a missed connection with their True Self. Then they handed the receiver to their friend, and I explained what happened to their friend, as they explained it “telephone-style” to them/me/us. “Thanks!”

11/5 Caller was looking for Brad. They told me Brad was the one with the knowledge. When it was clear I didn’t know Brad, they recited a long poem and then asked what I was doing. I told them I was chilling with my sweetie and they asked about my favorite things to do. I told them about building animal habitat sculptures. They thanked me for doing that, and then started joke-workshopping for a future open mic standup, and after that, another long poem. Then they asked me to send them money. No way, I replied. So they offered to volunteer. I directed them to the website.

11/5 The same caller regaled both Druids on our “party line” - a new feature, we added another phone to the kitchen. Regaling us, all while the Futel line constantly rang loudly for another line, that no one ever answered. More poetry and jokes in between dialing tones. Caller said they pressed over 30 buttons before reaching us.

11/5 Same caller spoke to the Druids of poetry, jokes, life and their health issues while drinking vodka. I thought these calls would automatically hang up after 15 minutes.

11/5 Same caller thought I was a different operator. Said that they had just talked to two people out in the woods and if I minded if they drank during the call. They started telling me the same jokes they were workshopping, and if I wanted to hear a poem. I said “no”, and hung up.

11/5 Probably the same caller. Picked up the receiver, then hung it up.

[mazelikedays]

2022 Year Ender

Currently Listening to: Yoasobi - Gunjou Location: Dubai, United Arab Emirates Mood: Kinda chill If you see the picture, then you’ll see me at the bottom left. Finally, a Weiss Schwarz BCS Top 8 spot! On a side note, apparently my livejournal account is still alive, and I discovered my year end posts from 2006 are still alive. So I have been doing year end posts for the past 16 years. Kinda scare to read the earlier ones, since they’re likely cringey stuff. Anyhow, let’s do the 2022 edition of my year ender report! 

1. Last year, I was talking about COVID. Funny enough, I ended January 2022 with contracting the COVID virus. It just felt like a flu honestly, and I was working from home 2 days after. Thankfully though by the time of writing it was more or less dying down (except in China I think) and most countries have opened up.  Hopefully it finally becomes endemic this 2023, but then again most countries don’t care anymore as long as you are vaccinated.

2. A year came by, and I’m still here in Dubai. It’s not bad honestly, a few things happened here and there (like work from home due to my COVID stint, then having an issue with a crappy client who left months later), but overall it’s chill. I’m also getting an increase on January, which is some nice news. However, I still feel I can go elsewhere. I tried going back to Singapore, but unfortunately the job prospects there wasn’t that good. I actually got frustrated when I wasn’t able to get a job there around March/April. But then, something came up and now I’m gunning to go to either Canada or Australia, whichever invites me first. I have submitted my requirements for Canada and I’m still waiting for my final assessment for Australia, so let’s see. These things take time, but hopefully before July there would be some significant news. I’ll also try to apply to increase my chances.

3. Travel wise, I was finally able to go out of the country again as COVID restrictions got relaxed. I started the year with going to Bahrain, though unfortunately after the trip I got COVID. And then in May I was finally able to go back to the Philippines after 2 years, catching up with a lot of my friends. I was even able to go to places like Mindoro and Boracay. It was a fun and busy month for sure! Funny enough, I went to the Philippines again last October to play for WS BCS, and finally went to Singapore again this December. 

4. TCG wise, speaking of Singapore, I finally got a Top 8 placement this year! I won in the WS BCS Singapore Regional. I won using my Tokyo Revengers Dual Lane Pah-Chin deck! Finally, after playing for 8 years, I finally got a top spot! Unfortunately, I didn’t go past that as my deck decided to not cooperate, hehe! I also played in Manila last October but unfortunately lost to the guys who went Top 1 and Top 8 as well. For next year, I’m hoping to go higher and also to participate in the WS BSF in Manila so I can finally play an official team tournament major!

5. In terms of my weight, I got off to a good start. I was able to go as low as 79kg, the lowest I had since probably after childhood. Stress and non-activity though kinda made me gain weight, and going to Singapore pretty much made me fat. Now I’m at 85kg, so I finally bought weights and a stepper so that I can burn calories even if my place is small. As for cooking, I haven’t cooked new stuff lately, mostly repeat dishes. I also got lazy posting food pics and I had to cram a lot in a post recently. Hopefully the goodies I got from SG will motivate me to cook new dishes! 

6. Anime, Manga and Pop Culture stuff.

I think for anime and manga, this was the reverse of last year. I watched more anime and read way less manga. I think the reason for this is that a lot of the manga I have been reading have ended this year.  As for sumo, I’m still pretty much into it, and it was fun to see new winners. I felt the sumo season ended pretty weird though, with only Takakeisho left as Ozeki, and Abi winning out of nowhere, albeit in a kinda off manner. There’s a lot of up and coming new talent though, and I’m excited to see them rise!

Currently Watching:

Gundam: The Witch From Mercury S1 Planning to Watch: Engage Kiss, Jojo: Stone Ocean, Tokyo Revengers S2, Tomo-Chan is a Girl, Danmachi S4 Part 2, Bofuri S2, maybe Ayakashi Triangle? 

Finished This Year:

Hataraku Maou Sama S2, Rising of the Shield Hero S2, Princess Connect Re:Dive S2, Kaguya-Sama: Love is War S2 and S3, Danmachi S3 and S4 Part 1, Made in Abyss S2, My Sempai is Annoying, Mushoku Tensei S2, Komi-San, Mieruko-Chan, Kimetsu no Yaiba S2, Isekai Shokudou S2, My Dress Up Darling, Tokyo Revengers S1, Love After World Domination, Lycoris Recoil, Overlord S4, My Stepmother’s Daughter is my Ex, Tensei Shitara ken Deshita, Bocchi the Rock

Unfinished Anime: 86, Ranking of Kings

Finished OVA/Movies:

Yuru Camp Movie, Josee, the Tiger and the Fish, Metropolis, Her Blue Sky, FGO Camelot 2, FGO: Solomon, Quintessential Quintuplets Movie, Macross Delta Zettai Live, Fate Kaleid Liner Movies 1-2, 

New Manga Read:

Spy X Family, Ayakashi Triangle

Finished Manga: Tokyo Revengers, Dr. Stone Other Stuff Watched:

Movies: Eternals, Dune, How to Train Your Dragon 3, Rurouni Kenshin the Final, The Batman, Dr. Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, Thor: Love and Thunder, The Green Mile, 

Series: Trese, The Mandalorian, The Book of Boba Fett

New Games Played: Mainly just playing Mahjong Soul and Pokemon TCG. I actually tried Tekken 7 and FF14 but didn’t feel going all out. Also played Wordle until like a few months ago.

8. Fulfilled (or not) Wishes a. Hoping to go back to SG again. - I did, but only as a tourist. I’m aiming for somewhere like Canada or Australia now. My friend will go to the UK soon so I’ll check that out as well. b. A Significant Other - I tried last Valentines Day. Miserably failed. Will put this on hold until I can go emigrate elsewhere c. Get Healthier – It was going pretty well the earlier months, but certain events made me gain a good amount of weight as well.  d. Travel more - I was able to travel to Bahrain, then went back to PH and SG. I would like to travel to either somewhere new, or in Japan again as well. e. For this COVID-19 nightmare to finally end. - It’s pretty much normal already at this point, just waiting for COVID to get endemic status.

New Wishes:

a. Get Healthier - Need to get my weight loss back on track. Hopefully new equipment will work out in my favor b. Get to emigrate elsewhere - Canada seems to be the most likely now, I sure hope there’s some news soon before July. Will check out elsewhere too that is nice and has a WS TCG community. c. Travel to new places - It’s kinda unlikely unless it’s already like Canada or Australia, but I would like to go to somewhere new. Let’s see. I’m also gonna camp to Hatta for the new year. Before I leave Dubai, I sure would like to go to Jebel Jais and do the skydive as well

d. TCG wise - Hoping to finally play in a teams tournament, and get more Top 8 or higher placements. If I can get an invite to worlds and if it’s gonna be in Japan, the better!

Oddly enough, I don’t have much else to wish for, maybe just for good health for me, my family and my friends. Typing this now because I’ll be camping tomorrow in Hatta! Anyhow, till next year!

[bisluthq]

When you quit drinking, did you replace that with something else? Like for me, I realized on the weekends if I have something planned, even as late as 3-4 PM, I won't drink that day cuz it's like I know later I need to drive to this thing and go interact with people and be normal. But if I don't have any concrete plans, if it's just like "I need to go to the grocery store at some point today, and then clean my bathroom" then I'm like "why shouldn't I have mimosas at 9 AM?" and then I end up getting completely smashed and can't go to the store later and can't effectively do any chores. I realized that about myself so now I schedule things with friends during the weekends, preferably earlier in the day, so then when I get home I'm like "now it's time to meal prep and clean, and maybe I'll have a glass of wine in a few hours with dinner". Idk I've gotten a lot better at cutting down alcohol, but those wide-open days for me just inevitably lead to me drinking early, even if I've said and committed that I don't want to. It's only when other people are involved in the plans ("I have to meet them here at 1" or whatever, vs "I should go to the store at 11") that I can stop myself drinking. So it's annoying, because I KNOW I can, I just don't have the discipline or willpower to do it if I'm not gonna be directly letting someone down. I don't have anywhere to be til 8 PM tonight lol so even though I was like "it'll be a sober Monday! I'm gonna clean my bathroom and declutter my closer" I still ended up drinking 2 beers and a glass of wine while doing that

ok so this was a lot of how my drinking went dude. Your story is FUCK relatable to me. Except for in the pandemic where I literally wasn’t leaving my house for obvious reasons and then my bed for depression reasons that I do think were interrelated to the drinking (although I’ve been feeling very down the last few days but I’m powering through with no alcohol), I was not a daily drinker and I never got drunk like before important activities or things that I was looking forward to (a few times I did get drunk before social things I was dreading but that’s a separate thing). But if I was just chilling at home, either on weekends as you say or late at night, I would often wind up drinking.

I haven’t replaced it with anything like in terms of substances. I do see myself as California sober not sober sober so I’m open to edibles and shrooms but the thing with me is I’ve never been someone who overindulges in that. It’s something I only do like when I’m with friends who are into that or just with my boyfriend and we want a trippy night. I *have* replaced it with actively getting into other hobbies again and I have a habit tracker where I’ve put in all the things I like to do and if I’m bored I go into the app and look at what I could do today. So personally I’ve got running, yoga, gym class, drawing, Duolingo, reading, this blog, journaling, writing fiction, whatever DIY project I’m busy with in terms of my little furniture stuff, meditation, etc and I track how many minutes and hours a day I spend on all that stuff outside of work which I obviously don’t count in my fun little app. I also try call friends or text with friends if I’m feeling bored like that. And then I’ve been making more complicated food instead of just popping shit in the air fryer or ordering takeout. I have a guitar that I haven’t played in like 10 years that I’m considering starting to play again.

But also it’s just a habit right (well obviously not with people who have physical addictions and there you need to be careful how you come off it) so just… break the habit. Again, I found quit lit really helpful and enjoyed the following books a lot: This Naked Mind, Not Drinking Tonight (it’s a bit heavy in psych babble so not for everyone but was really cool for me), Alcohol Lied To Me, Alcohol Explained, Soberful and maybe ESPECIALLY Sober Curious. There are a couple other really great ones but those stuck out to me. Also reading quit lit just helped me a lot because I was just like constantly drumming it into my head that I don’t need to/want to drink and that it’s the stuff that powers fucking rocket engines right like they use ethanol in rocket fuel lmao idk that I want to put that in my body (but I like Sober Curious in that maybe one day I might idk I don’t know that I want to say “I never ever will” or “I’m powerless over alcohol” because I’m def not lol - the problem is me not alcohol and not me in the sense that I’m like “broken” or whatever). So now I quite genuinely - for right now - don’t want to drink. I’m not holding myself back from it, I’m not counting days until I can again, I am not imposing moderation rules for me, I’m not looking for loopholes and I’m not promising lifelong abstinence. But I just don’t want to right now. We aren’t an alcohol free house - we’ve got fucktons of booze around - and my bf is still having his wine with dinner and beer when he does yard work and actually he even had a screwdriver for breakfast after he joined me for a run this past weekend because that’s what he wanted and I made him run pretty far. I’ve got it available. He is very proud of me and supportive of me not drinking but he also won’t like break up with me if I decide to start up again. I just… don’t want to. It’s better for me. I’m happier without… rocket fuel inside my body lmao because I’m a person and not a rocket ykwim?

This was very rambling but this topic makes me like that. My feeling is if you’re thinking about when you can and can’t drink, your relationship with alcohol isn’t healthy. Again to go back to my edibles thing, which I would have again quite easily, I’ve never in my life had more edibles than I intended to (I’ve had a max of two when my goal was to get fuck stoned and that’s what I did) and I also can’t tell you when I last had one or when I next will (I’ve got a bag of them in my desk but it’s sealed and it doesn’t tempt me). With alcohol I absolutely was counting sober days versus drinking days and how many drinks I had on a drinking day and whether or not a few glasses of wine “even counted” yk? And it was occupying a lot of time and space in my head, even when I wasn’t drinking. So that wasn’t like… healthy. Just removing it has given me a lot of energy and genuine desire to do a lot more hobbies that I like to do.

I also find I do a lot more chores lmao like I’ve always done my chores because I’m not a complete cunt but I often procrastinated with them and I get a lot of the regular ones I do done quicker and more frequently (like cleaning the kitchen), I do a lot more annoying ones more regularly (like taking stuff to the dry cleaners’ which I hated to do because I never drunk drove and like having out and about chores meant I can’t drink and if I did drink then I couldn’t take my stuff in lol so also getting my car washed was one of those too and also like washing my couches which I was doing maybe every two to three months but do every month since I quit drinking and that’s not about driving but it’s about not being able to sit on the couch when I undress it to wash it because obviously I sat on the couch drinking lol) and am more proactive with my DIY projects.

and in terms of what I’ve replaced it in terms of drinks, I’ve been making a lot of mixed drinks (so diet tonic, soda water, with a splash of cranberry juice and a splash of lime has been my favorite but I make other ones too), I drink Corona Zeros if we have people round, I’ve been making a lot more tea and coffee, and I’ve been drinking Diet Red Bull if I want “a buzz” lol. Also just sparkling water. And flavored sparkling water. Idk it’s been really easy once I decided on it and it keeps getting easier tbh not harder - like the first weekend I’d quit, we were sitting waiting for a takeaway and they didn’t have any AF beers on the menu and they advertised lassis but were out of them and I just didn’t order anything and felt a bit annoyed with my bf drinking his beer but that hasn’t happened again and idk I’ve been out and about and I’ve entertained at home and like I say it’s not that I don’t have it in the house or that I can’t say “cool look I did it for over 2 months so now I’m done like clearly I can stop whenever I want and now I want to start again” but I really just… don’t want to start again at this point.

Hope this helped a bit and just so you know your “boozestory” (as Ruby Warrington of Sober Curious calls it) is completely normal.

[hellcave]

time, and then something sweet.

When I’m on the bus and watching the time, I think about how in just seven minutes, I’m going to be in a completely different spot of earth. like i’m here on a seat, in a bus behind a dude with a ponytail, with my foot in the metal slope thing in front of me. And in seven minutes, I’m gonna be standing in front of a clock-in screen, doing something completely different. And I started thinking about what I was doing five years ago. I was a freshman in college. I had just gotten my hair done by a girl on campus, (most likely) paid for with my first paycheck from my first job at Wendy’s. I had a mirror in my dorm room where I wrote my to-do list, things to remember, and occasional inspirational quotes with expo marker. I remember feeling anxious about whether or not I’d be able to keep up with my school work. I also planned on taking advantage of a decent amount of extracurricular activities to really soak in college. I hadn’t made any friends at this point, so I’d just lurk on my school’s social media until I found the most convenient things to join in on. It was about a week before my birthday and I’m sure I was thinking about what I’d do and who I’d spend it with. Two years ago, I’d planned to bring the guy I’d been seeing to the park to break up with him. I didn’t know how to communicate with him about how overwhelmed I was feeling by our being together. I was growing increasingly bitter in that situation by the day and thought we better end it soon before I end up staying with him and resenting him at the same time. I was always scared that I was capable of doing something like that. Anyway, we talked and I was grateful we worked it out. I’m still grateful because that boy is still my baby. We’d ended up back in my car making out and taking pictures together. And he’s the one I ended up with on my birthday just a week later. We spent it getting food together, at the mall, and back in his room watching tv. So it was a good one. Now I’m here, in a new state, at a new job. I worry about how I think I’m losing weight either because I haven’t been eating enough or because I’ve been smoking more lately. Earlier, I had to ask my dad for money again because I was short on rent that I was eleven days overdue on. I’m hoping I asked in time for the bank transfer to not consider it a rejected a payment and I be charged a fee for that. I’m recovering from clenching my body so tightly after a four hour shift today. I’ve had to call and talk to strangers the whole time and risk them getting mad at me or thinking I’m incompetent at my job. The social anxiety was felt today. I’m home now and thinking about what to eat tonight. And how the weed is almost out. And I’ve applied for this new job that I really want. And my feet kind of hurt. And I’m getting into reading again. And video essays. And I’m flossing and wearing my retainer at night. And me and my beau are getting along swimmingly. And in about a week, it’s my birthday. And so I made sure I was off that day because I’d rather possibly make myself miserable on that day than let a random guy at work do it for me. But I don’t think I will be miserable. I’ve been thinking about getting something sweet from a bakery nearby and just chilling at home. Time is so funny and strange and random. Or maybe I’m thinking about life now.

[holdinbacksecrets]

It does sound relaxing, I'm happy to hear you had fun!!! We really need to get out of the house more often and not just for work and errands.. I joke around sometimes saying it'd be fun to just be a tree 😂 they look like they're thriving so why not

Umm, things I do for fun? Not much lately tbh 😬 I just listen to music a lot - I seriously don't think I can live without it; like if it were to disappear tomorrow, the world would look very gray to me- heh anyway, I like to spend time with my babiesss (my dogs), I work out with one of my friends sometimes - btw, I think it's 10 better to work out with a friend , to me time just flies by lol 😆 Sometimes I just experiment with different make up styles and it puts me in such a good mood haha. I'd love to put reading too here, but I have not read a book in forever.... Hm, guess I just like to spend time with myself a lot

What about you?

Oh and I saw your post about summer 2021 amd I wholeheartedly agree!!!! I miss a lot about that year, I've had such a good time haha 🥹

On another note, today I've read some stuff on armytwt (I really need to let that app rest ahsjkfksj) and it made me a little anxious about some stuff.. but maybe we're all overthinking and we need to chill🧍‍♀️ yeah that's exactly what I'm gonna do!

- 🧁

i wholeheartedly agree with you. god knows i love trees with everything i have. i’d love to feel the breeze through my leaves and branches. that sounds so relaxing >.<

the idea of suddenly losing music brings great dread. please never 😔 spending time with pups is always time well spent 💗💗 i love that! i’ve always been one to exercise on my own, but i love that you’ve gained a lot from doing it with a buddy. playing with makeup! how fun!! it’s been years since i’ve work makeup, but i have some pretty, glittery looks saved on pinterest if i ever get inspired to try again. do you have any favorite makeup styles? same for me 😭 i haven’t read a book in months

music is huge for me as well, writing (no surprise there lol), walking, watching youtube or whatever show i’m into. i love being active. it’s taken me way too long to get back into running after all my injuries. still hoping to reunite with it one day. music sounds even better during a run, and i miss experiencing it that way. i also enjoy laying in the grass and just being close to nature. spending time with friends too

😧 can i ask what you read that sparked anxiety?

i hope you had a lovely weekend 🤍🤍

[dsumps]

WOW! It has been how long?

For a second there, I thought I left the internet for real. Nah, turns out when the whole world panics about the death of a platform, somehow everyone returns the next week like nothing’s happened. Despite migrating my followed content on my other platforms, I STILL ended up using Twitter the most in viewing online content.How could I stop? Everyone still uses that platform to some degree. Despite this, I did promise that Tumblr would be my new place for posts (clearly followed up on that order :P), and I still haven’t (and won’t) post another thing on that platform for god knows how long.

Sooo, how have I been (if that even matters to you)? 

I’ve been fine, I got through my first year of college at ASU, and overall I’m just been chilling with the inactivity. The most I ever post online is through my personal Instagram, which for obv reasons, I won’t be sharing. Besides that its been scroll, like, next platforn, scroll, like,... the usual.

It’s been sort of nice to be afk from the constant active schedule, especially when there are important things to worry about than being on social media. I honestly don’t know how some of y’all do it better, haha. 

How about the art? Where’s the art?

I really did leave the blog hanging with the doodle sharing. There’s still several pages of sketches there, but I haven’t really drawn in like... a year. Again, college had me on a chokehold, and will again once next semester begins, so I haven’t really done much creatively for awhile. I MIGHT, but I don’t promise. Social media for me, isn’t much of a priority than living for real life, which pretty much defines my reason for inactivity. Not that I don’t care about it, otherwise this account would’ve been deleted long ago.

Any new interests / miscellaneous section?

This is just to update y’all about my current interests and such. Pretty much realized through the past year that I don’t like Pokémon as much as I thought. During Gen 8, I made it an effort to become engulfed into the currents of the games, anime, media, etc... and honestly it was a hassle, and I hated it, especially on Twitter. I pretty much learned that the only thing I actually cared about were the various Pokémon themselves. Especially apparent from my ever-growing collection of plushes that I dedicate to once in a while. It’s a massive money waster, but god do I love it. My recent favorite is the Cult of the Lamb plush I had to order in under a minute before being sold out. That was a fun experience, and I know I’ve sneaked him into several ASU promotional material. Funny I mention that, because I haven’t really played video games either since college. 

If there is ONE thing I do have current interest in, that would be this one small show you may have heard of this show I’m not sure if you know this show so ill show you the show so you know its a little show called Bluey. I’ve been obsessed with this show since the end of my winter break, funny enough initial interest came from watching TikTok's of people (jokingly, I hope) to compete with 6 y/olds for Bluey plushes at Target. I guess i’ve liked too many of these posts for TikTok to start sharing full episodes on my page, and I've never been the same since. I’ve caught up with the series, and I gotta say it’s one of my favorite current pieces of animated media to come out as of late. Without saying too much, this show made me question many aspects of my life several times to where I could say I’ve actually learned how to better myself a bit. It’s crazy to me that a goddamn toddler program from Australia is actively teaching me morals at age 19, but here we are, I guess. 

Will there be Bluey in this blog? maybe, but I plan on posting Bluey related content on another blog @dsumpsbluey For now, my primary blog will share primarily Pokémon, art, and Pokémon art; not that I’m gatekeeping Bluey, but I got something planned for that other blog (plans, I’m totally great with those). Other than that, that’s pretty much it with what’s up with me. Sorry for being inactive for as long as I did, real life just caught up to me that’s all. Hopefully if you’re still reading this, you realize my current position of my blog. Just know that unless specified by me, this blog isn’t dead. Good day, or night, and until the next post.

[somegurl8]

Aaaaaa I’ve been so busy today trying to do school stuff I haven’t even gotten a chance to reply-

Ok now after I finished CRYING (/j) from all of these kind messages it’s my turn!

@octolingo-writes, you just seem like a super fun and chill person plus I absolutely admire your writing abilities. Like the fact that you’re been working on your JRWI request fic for almost 3 YEARS now is absolutely insane and you are iconic for it. Also a Fire Emblem fan which makes you cool in my eyes

@fishcop banger art always, no such thing as a miss ever. Still thinking about the art you made based on one of my Angelstone week fics. You’re also a really good writer imo as well.

@gentlemanslime and @red-heart-sunglasses, my besties I love you guys to death thank you for being my friend and letting me into your silly campaigns and letting me run silly campaigns for you and for putting up with my general insanity (/lh). Both of you are hella creative and I cannot wait to see what you guys make next.

@starlightandroses, @beevoid, @klemmieinnit, @th3w00ds, my friends from the Strays server! Haven’t been super active on there as of late because of school but you guys are all so talented and I appreciate you guys sticking with me so the last 2-3 years give or take.

@tigers1o1, I on occasion forget we’re mutuals on here but can I just say you are so creative and I love both your writings and your cosplays. You have 100% earned the title of “that fnc guy”

@valeovalairs, if your Angelstone fics didn’t already live in my head rent free I would say your art work would instead. You’re an absolute case of double trouble (talented writer AND artist)

[sixeyesgojo]

hostage

☾ Summary: Working too hard has its consequences if you don't take a break. (Un)fortunately, Gin is there to help.

☾ Characters: Ichimaru Gin x Reader

☾ Word count: ~1,3k

☾ Content warning: not beta-read

☾ A/N: [entry for the Bleach Is Forever With You collab]

This is awfully self-indulgent and maybe Gin's a little OOC but we all need love from this man because I said so. ME WHEN

Heaving a sigh of relief, you sat down on the ground, leaning against the wall, finally able to sit and rest for what felt like the first time today. Your legs had been hard at work since morning: Running errands for your captain and lieutenant, handling missions as well as reporting them to your captain and supporting your fellow squad members was tedious work. All while practicing and honing your skills on your own. After all, you didn’t want to fall behind and be a burden to anyone.

Not that it wasn’t your usual kind of work but lately, your workload had increased significantly due to an unexpected increase in Hollow activity and injuries.

It had gotten to the point where you had been reprimanded by a seated officer, which made your mood drop. A break was what you desperately needed, so being able to sit down, close your eyes for a bit and just breathe in peace was very welcome. You rested your head on your arms and took several deep breaths. However, the tranquility didn’t last too long.

“Slackin’ off in broad daylight, how naughty,” a voice that was too familiar to you taunted you. No doubt, it was the voice of your companion who happened to be the captain of the third division. “Just taking a little break,” you murmured in reply, not even bothering to open your eyes to look at Gin. Tiny bits of his powerful reiatsu licked at your skin. What other shinigami perceived as chilling and eerie was soothing to you. In fact, Gin’s presence alone was a source of comfort.

“Heard you were scolded today, weren’t you?” he asked with his usual grin and crouched down in front of you. A sigh escaped from your lips as you recalled the events from earlier, “Yeah. Apparently, I’m not doing my work well enough anymore. “Negligent” is what they said.”

“’s that so?” he asked, brows furrowed and voice fraught with menace. You shook your head. “To be fair, I haven’t gotten a proper break for quite some time now. I’m exhausted,” you clarified. The silver-haired man nodded in understanding, his mind whirring with potential courses of actions he could take. “Suppose I could talk to your captain? I could have you transferred to my division too,” he suggested, face plastered with a fake grin, but you shook your head again.

“I appreciate it, but I don’t think it would help much. And if I am transferred to your squad, I fear someone will hold it against you or that it will cause trouble,” you explained, “I will wait and see how the situation turns out. If worst comes to worst, I can still do something about it.”

However, the situation barely changed. Weeks passed and your workload hardly decreased. Busy as ever, you whirled through the corridors from place to place... until a slender hand appeared out of thin air and caught your wrist.

Before you could process what was happening to you, someone covered your mouth with their hand and pulled you into a room. Your heart stood still for a second as you collided with something solid— no, with someone.

“Seems like I caught a little mouse scurryin’ around in here,” Gin whispered against your ear and your body instinctively relaxed at the sound of his voice. “Say, d’you think Central 46 would punish me for stealin’ another captain’s subordinate from under his nose?”

“…But I suppose they wouldn’t, not when I just caught an intruder.” He stressed the last word and removed the hand he had used to cover your mouth. Intruder? You looked around the room curiously and sure enough, this wasn’t the place you were supposed to deliver something to at all. As a matter of fact, it was a captain’s office.

“Poor thing. Not payin’ attention for a moment and endin’ up in the snake’s lair. My, my, what should I do with you?” he taunted, grin widening. He was right, how did you end up in his barracks in the first place? Were you that lost in thoughts? Maybe it was a force of habit? Or perhaps it was something else entirely that you couldn’t pinpoint at the moment.

“Gin, I’m so sorry but I have no time—” you started and struggled somewhat to free yourself from his grip. “Sorry, love. No can do,” he said, “you’re in my territory and as captain, I get to decide how to handle certain intruders. Y’know snakes don’t like lettin’ go of their prey, much less a precious one like you.”

You protested, still struggling, “Gin, please let me go. I really can’t entertain your games right now.” Finally breaking free from his grip on you, you turned to leave and resume your duties. However, Gin had other plans for you. It took him one flash step to face you directly. In swift motions, he easily trapped you within his captain’s haori.

“Not playin’ any games here, ‘m holding you hostage. Aren’t you gonna obey a captain’s orders?” Gin’s voice sounded slightly threatening and if it had been another subordinate, they would have been intimidated. But not you. You looked at him, only to see the intensity and seriousness of his electrifying gaze on you. His eyes showed concern for you. Sometimes Gin would act rather peculiar by using fairly unconventional methods, but you knew he meant well.

Your mind told you to surrender to him. There was no way you could win against him anyway.

And yet, some part in you felt the need to half-heartedly justify your position— to no avail. The man snorted, “Ah, ah. Don’t think so.”

Gin started walking backwards with you still wrapped in his haori until his legs collided with the couch that was in the room, promptly making both of you drop onto it. “You gotta stay here and rest.” Sighing in defeat, you nodded, “Fine.”

Not that you could complain about the situation. After all, this was the first time since forever that you could catch your breath and take a proper break. You might as well take this opportunity and you had Gin to thank for it.

Hearing his steady heartbeat was like your personal lullaby and you could feel your own heart following his heart’s rhythm. While finding a more comfortable position in his arms, your eyes fell shut. “Thank you, Gin,” you murmured sleepily.

“Mhmm. Missed you, my love,” he muttered in response. “You’re mean… for saying such a sweet thing… I’m ‘bout to fall asleep…” was the last sentence you could manage to say.

Eventually, the exhaustion that accumulated over the past few weeks slowly took over and clouded your mind until you slipped into dream land. Looking at your peaceful face, Gin hoped that you slept well. In fact, he would ensure that you would get the break you deserved.

The room was filled with silence… until Izuru barged into the room, ready to report to his captain. “Captain I—”

If there was a way to end someone’s life with looks only, Izuru’s life would have been in mortal peril by now but luck was on his side. Upon seeing your serene face on his captain’s chest, the blond shinigami stopped dead in his tracks. He knew very well not to disturb you and Gin right now if he cherished his sanity.

Gin spoke softly, yet his voice was oozing with chilling authority that no one would dare defy, “Izuru. Inform their captain that I will take care of this one today.”

“Yes, I understand,” Izuru replied and swiftly left them to their own devices. The room returned to being silent once again.

The silver-haired man looked at your sleeping figure with fondness in his eyes.

“One day, I’ll whisk you away to a place where you don’t have to work. All you gotta do is stay by my side,” he whispered and planted a sweet kiss on the top of your head.

tags: @shirohyorin