#haven’t been drawing in a while but!! we try we try our best. the anatomy is a bit funky in places it’s been a while etc etc

[nazumichi]

he is strange and off-putting in ways indescribable

[cellsshapedlikestars]

Robot Jon! ☺️

(ok, I've been off tumblr for a few days, but I went on early this morning and had an ask with a bunch of prompts because I said I'd be taking a break from my Bachelor fic - which is true, if not for another 3 chapters yet. I haven't answered that ask because I'll lose it and therefore the prompts, but it reminded me that I still had two prompts left from when I asked for them back in... December? I'm the worst. Anyway, I re-looked at those prompts, saw this one, and then couldn't stop thinking about it. So I'm coming out of my vague tumblr hiatus to write this.)

Thank you, as always, for the prompt!

.

Sansa has never liked amusement parks.

The sun that always burned her, no matter how diligent mom was about reapplying sunscreen; the fried food that always made her sick; the crowds and the noise and having to walk everywhere. But the worst part was the rides – oh, she didn't mind some of them, like the Ferris wheel or the teacups; she could even handle the swing ride. The problem was that the rest of her family wanted to go on the horrible rides – roller coasters, haunted houses, swinging ships; the ones that go fast and drop you from a million feet in the air. And since it was hard enough wrangling the amount of children in their group to begin with, it was impossiblefor one adult to split off with Sansa, who alone wanted to ride the gentler ones.

And so, it's sort of ironic that she works at an amusement park now.

She may not have a taste for most of the rides in the park, but she is good at designing them – not the actual rides, but the aesthetics of them. It's her (and her team's) job to come in after the engineers and the builders and take a bare-bones ride and turn it into an experience. She loves her job – she loves watching children exit one of her rides with glowing faces and excitement in their eyes.

Today, she also gets to do one of her favorite aspects of the job, which is costume design. The animatronic models have already been installed, and when she enters the new Dance of Dragons ride, she can already see the scene taking shape in her mind. The concept art has already been drawn up, it's already being advertised – a medieval world that everyone knows is meant to capitalize on the stunning success of the Aemon the Dragonknight series (which her employer does not own the rights to, much to their dismay). But concept art is one thing – reality is another, and it's not until the ride is complete that she can start to truly see it come together in her mind.

“Oh good, you're here,” Margaery Tyrell sighs dramatically as she comes to meet Sansa's team. Margaery is in charge of Marketing and PR for this ride and Sansa knows it's a big responsibility, so she's been even more high maintenance than usual. Margaery walks her through the ride that Sansa has seen so many times in drawings.

“This is our Aemon,” Margaery slaps a hand against the shoulder of one of the animatronic models. “Although we can't call him Aemon. Copyright and all that.”

Sansa looks at the robot and she's struck for a moment how lifelike he is. A lot of the animatronics aren't this detailed, though she guesses this one is because of how close to the ride it is.

“He's handsome, right?” Margaery flashes her a grin and there's something in her eyes that Sansa can't quite place. (Well, she can, it's mischief, Sansa just can't tell why it's there.)

“I guess, in the way that cartoons can be handsome,” Sansa laughs and takes another look at the model – the somber grey eyes, dark curly hair, and an equally dark beard. “You even gave him abs,” she points down at the robot's chest which does, indeed, have a very detailed set of abs. “Am I supposed to leave him shirtless?”

“Oh, no, obviously we want realism, like we talked about,” Margaery waves her hand dismissively. “We just couldn't help ourselves when we put in the order.” Sansa shoots her a confused look, which only gets a delighted laugh out of Margaery. “I'm guessing you don't recognize him?”

“Recognize who?”

Margaery gestures at the animatronic. “Jon!” At Sansa's blank stare, Margaery rolls her eyes. “Jon Snow?”

The name sounds familiar and it takes her a second to place it. “The engineer?”

“Duh! Seven hells, don't tell me you've never actually seen him?”

Sansa shakes her head – she usually comes in well after the engineers have done their part.

“Mormont let him take the lead on this project and he's so... ugh,” Margaery makes a noise that's half frustration, half delight. “So serious all the time. But somehow likable? It's infuriating, really. And no one should be that attractive for a nerd.”

“So... does he know you made him into a robot?”

“He does not,” Margaery grins. “We're all just dying for him to come in for an inspection and see it. In fact,” she pulls out her phone and checks the time, “if you wait around for a bit, you'll get to see it happen.”

Sansa shakes her head and they continue on through the set, Sansa writing down notes in her trusty notebook that she always carries with her. Lists of costumes, set pieces. She'll need to bring in Asha later to discuss the lighting options (right now the dark ride is lit with spotlights, giving the whole place a surreal atmosphere).

Margaery eventually leaves her to it and Sansa loses herself in going over the set inch by inch with Gilly and Mya following along with her. She's so lost in thought that Mya has to shake her arm to bring her back to reality, and they turn to see a group of what has to be engineers standing in the main Great Hall set.

“Oh come on, Jon,” Margaery is giggling as a man who must be Jon stands, staring at the animatronic. He's scowling at it, hands tight around the pile of binders in his arms that are... well, ok, Sansa can understand now why Margaery made the robot so well muscled.

Sansa edges closer to the scene, and she can see that his fellow engineers are laughing – one of them is red-faced from trying to hold it in while another is actively wiping tears from his eyes.

“It's already made,” Margaery says in response to whatever Jon had grumbled to her. “Replacing it would be an irresponsible waste of funds. Oh! And here's the team that will be styling you... I mean, styling not-Aemon because that's copyright infringement.”

Jon looks up and the scowl drops from his face.

“This is Sansa, Mya and Gilly are over there.”

“Hi,” Sansa greets and Jon shifts his binders into one arm and then holds out his hand for her to shake (she can feel her face heating up and she hopes the dark hides it). “I promise to try and do you justice.” She regrets her words immediately, especially when she sees a slow grin spread over Margaery's face. “Though it doesn't totally look like you,” she continues on to try and backtrack. “It... doesn't have glasses?”

She wants to sink into the floor in embarrassment, but the gods are not that kind. At least she doesn't spout out how much she likes his glasses. Maybe Margaery is right – no one who clearly cares so little about their appearance should be this attractive. His beard needs a trim, his outfit is painfully unstylish, his hair is pulled back into a bun. All of it should add up to something she hates, but she just... doesn't.

(And honestly, Margaery's description of nerd isn't so far off the mark, but Sansa finds this isn't a detriment – in fact, she might be more attracted to him because of the glasses and the multitude of thick binders organized with labels and tabs that he's got tucked under his arm.)

“I'd also hope real Jon isn't built like a Ken doll,” one of the other engineers barks out a laugh and points at the animatronic, which, yes, does not have any reproductive anatomy.

“Gods,” she hears Jon whisper, and the hand that he had used to shake hers comes up and covers his eyes. “This is a nightmare.”

“Stop being so dramatic,” Margaery sighs and pats him on the shoulder. “Now, why don't you take Sansa around and make sure she's really taken care of, hmm?” At the words, Sansa feels her face heat even further and Jon drops his hand from his eyes and glares at Margaery. “I just mean,” Margaery grins, not even trying to pretend the innuendo wasn't on purpose, “it might help the design if she has a good understanding of the mechanics. I know there's some new things on this ride we haven't had before, you could show her.”

Jon opens his mouth, but doesn't get a chance to speak, because Margaery barrels on. “Sam, Grenn, you can chat with Gilly and Mya while that's happening. And I... well, I'll just be over here, minding my own business.”

With that, Margaery walks away and the other two engineers – Sam and Grenn, she guesses – head over to where the rest of her team stands, watching from afar.

“You don't have to,” Sansa starts, but Jon quickly turns from glaring at Margaery's back to her and his face settles into something less... scowly.

“I don't mind,” he says quickly and maybe it's the low lighting in here, but she thinks the tips of his ears are red.

“Perfect,” she gives him her best smile, which seems to throw him even more off balance and... and she thinks she could get used to throwing Jon Snow off balance.

[tendermiasma]

i’m not even into overwatch anymore but i just wanted to say I ADORE your art style and hope to develop my own into a similar semi-realism leaning...have you made a post about your art journey? I’m assuming I just need to buckle down and do anatomy studies but any tips are very welcome!! Ty for your time <3

Oh man thank you! I’ve never made a comprehensive post about how I got to *gestures* whatever this point in my art this is, and I definitely sat here wondering what “art journey” means for me since I always feel like I’m stumbling around so I’ll answer as completely as I can. But a great way to develop a realism-minded eye is to draw from photos and life. Everyone in the world has said it over and over but it really gets it done, it’s not any more complicated than that. It’s how I started when I was little and it’s not something I planned, but the Legolas posters were right there so how could I not? Your own non-realism “stylistic” touch will bubble up whether you want it to or not and that’s a beautiful thing. It’s not something you need to look for because it happens on its own, whether it’s you seeing something another artist is doing that you like and assimilating it into your work, or it’s your own unique way that you absorb information from the world and use it to solve problems in the drawing in front of you. Some new artists also still have the idea that using references is cheating-- I’m not blaming them, sometimes this weird thing is circulated by more established people as well-- but this is a very small minority. Please use references. I’d be lost without them. The Castlevania team has a giant collection of references for faces of every character from every angle, props, etc. and I always have a second screen up with 10 different sheets of whoever I’m drawing. Feeding yourself info is essential to getting better. Look at how other artists handle something you’re having a problem with too. If they’re doing a similar pose or something, study their drawing and ask yourself what specifically, extremely technically about that drawing is convincing-- what marks are where, and what is the quality or direction of the strokes? Try it out on your own drawing. If you’re stuck, become aware of if you’re holding on too tightly to what you think something should look like. I have to remind myself this as well. Really try to let go of the idea you have in your head about how something works and simply try instead to draw what you see, even if it feels weird. The results are often pleasantly surprising. 

I have a funny relationship with studies. You seem to be looking at them like a chore and I feel the same way. It’s impossible for me to sit down and just draw something over and over, disconnected from emotion or a larger narrative. I think a wonderful way to “study” is to incorporate those studies into a project that you wanted to do anyway. I’ve used my minicomics to get better at background painting or specific figure poses that I needed for the story but wasn’t sure how to do. I’m a very “oops I need it now better learn TODAY” kind of artist, if that suits you better than buckling down and doing anatomy studies for hours. Both are great ways to improve, but you have options for how to get there. 

In terms of how much time I spend drawing.. well lol it’s a lot. I almost typed “but I don’t do it every day” but yes, my jobs have made sure that I do (I tend to separate personal drawing and job drawing). But the truth is, to get better, a lot of very focused drawing time is important; how much of it is up to you and your schedule. You can sit down for 6 hours and doodle or you can sit down for 3 with an extremely critical eye. It’s about the volume of time as well as focus and I don’t have a clear answer for it, but I can point to one specific year in my life where I made artistic progress like I’ve never seen from myself since. I drew a comic with regular updates during that time and, looking back, the art was not good. But the point was, I was drawing for 7 hours a day after work, at least 5 days a week, and actively looking to draw things that I hadn’t done before or knew that I wasn’t good at, and the result was that every single update was almost like it was drawn by a different person-- readers noticed and commented on the progress as well. It was very much an art bootcamp and I wouldn’t have the skills I do at this point if I hadn’t done it. It’s important that you’re loving what you do if you do it for yourself! That’s how you get through big projects and continue to be excited with where you are. Love is one of the most important motivators and discipline-keepers in art, in my experience. Draw what sets your brain on fire and attack it wholeheartedly even if it’s really weird or niche, not what you think you should be drawing, and you’ll improve a million times faster.

Art journey in terms of what I’ve done with my life (if this is what you meant from the beginning I’M SORRY I’m just trying everything you might have meant) uhhh I haven’t been to art school. I have no idea what my relationship with art would be like now if I’d had any formal training and I don’t really dwell on it. I could either be a testament to being able to get by without it or an example of someone who has no idea what she’s doing at all and lacks many basic foundational art skills. I have an architecture degree. I love architecture, I love the language of space we build for ourselves, and I’m truly, deeply glad for that eye-opening and often grueling experience, but I think my current field is a much better fit. Before animation I worked as a graphic designer mainly drawing storyboards for commercials and internal-industry stuff-- lots and lots of quick colored sketches (one of our main clients was a big glass company and my god I never thought I’d draw so much glass in my life). I was able to do that job due to the skills I developed through personal work. Maybe I’d be a hundred times more powerful if I went to art school! Maybe I’d be completely burned out and bitter and not drawing anymore at all! I just don’t know. I have friends who have had both experiences. Whether you choose art school or not it’s best to keep tabs on if the art you’re currently making brings you joy. Joy and struggle aren’t mutually exclusive. Oftentimes I’m drawing something I care deeply about but it’s VERY FUCKING HARD and I’m frustrated but it’s worth it.

I also do everything while being very scared of the thing. I have a lot of deep-seated anxiety that I’m constantly trying to root out and my brain compulsively twists things around into why I can’t do something, why people secretly know I’m below-par and are just too nice to tell me, how I’m “tricking” people into thinking I’m better than I am, etc. It’s so bad that my first thought when I was initially offered the art test for my current job was to say no; not because I didn’t want it so badly it hurt, but because I thought I’d be too much of a disappointment.  After completing the test I spent an hour figuring out the most gracious way to apologize for not being enough. It’s common, but not something to accept and we’re all working on it. I just thought it was important to mention because art is also a mental journey and forces you to do all this navel-gazey shit in order to advance, and feeling like you are Not Enough is rife in the creative community. The work feels entangled with my value as a person because art is a massive part of my life. Something I’m learning is that I don’t have to be confident or sure of myself all the time. This ensures that the process is usually painful and frightening. Often there’s no way to make it less painful or frightening, and I just have to hold my breath and do it. An oddly comforting thing to me the past couple years is to remind myself that the scary thing I’m about to do won’t be the scariest thing I’ll ever do. I implies both that this isn’t the pinnacle of my progress and also that I will inevitably get over it. If you continue with art you’re going to run into things like this and I guess if it was me it would’ve been helpful to know I’m not alone in it.

I hope that maybe answered some of your questions, maybe? If you have some specific questions feel free and I’ll try my best. Hope you have a good day/night!

[lucywritesreid]

Our own little island

Thank you for all the feedback from my last fic :3 I really don’t have any explanation for this other than....yeah...Spencer during lockdown haha.

Summary: Spencer and Y/N Have been living in their own private bubble during lockdown. YN has discovered a game and initially Spencer shows no interest...

There wasn’t much to say about the last few months other than they had been… weird. Weird on a global scale. You almost couldn’t believe how quickly everything went from normal to complete lockdown and watching the news every night had set you into complete panic mode. Both you and your highly germ-phobic boyfriend were more than happy to comply with the necessary restrictions. Spencer’s rational and calm mindset kept you both prepared and he did everything possible to reduce your anxiety. You would be forever grateful to have him by your side at such a horrible time.

For you the hardest adjustment was not seeing your work friends every day. It was odd to not spend every waking moment surrounded by all the people you loved the most. You didn’t realise just how much you would miss them despite seeing them all the time anyway. Friday night became the highlight. Your team, set up by Garcia, started a weekly quiz whereby everyone joined a Zoom call and one member was chosen to deliver a set of questions. Granted, it took Rossi a few failed attempts to be both seen and heard on camera, but you had all got it working in the end. Garcia’s quiz was based on cute, fluffy cartoon characters, Rossi delivered a mastermind style quiz all about the ratpack, Hotch surprised everyone with an in depth quiz about the employees of the FBI (where you realised he knew way more about personal lives of his colleagues) and you did pop culture through the ages. You had warned Spencer that ‘the history of the atom’ wasn’t in keeping with the Friday night spirit, and despite being met by many groans, he ended up presenting a fun and engaging quiz where losers had to take a shot for every question wrong. No surprise that he was the only one still standing by the end.

 The truth was that despite all the chaos and uncertainty, you realised that you were lucky to have so much time spent with the man you loved. Sure, you worked together, but that was as professional as you both could manage. Stolen kisses at the back of the jet and shoulder squeezes were as close as you could get whilst working. But at home, you both had free reign of each other. You were both night owls, sleeping through most of the sunshine. You spent your evenings playing chess, re-watching old horror movies and having a lot of sex. You were sure that you were keeping your local Thai restaurant in business, living mainly off that and tubs of ice cream. It was almost therapeutic spending your time lounging around in your comfortable clothes. Hours would pass while you both sat reading in silence (you, a few chapters, Spencer, a novel or three…), his arm slowly brushing the inside of your leg as you read. On the more anxious nights, Spencer would do absolutely anything to calm you down, making sure you were okay. He’d perform Shakespeare, teach you how to cheat cards, read to you in different languages and even let you braid the ends of his hair.

 You were very sure you were going to marry Spencer Reid.

 There was one of your hobbies that he didn’t quite understand. In the first few weeks at home, you had invested in a Nintendo Switch, mainly from the push of Garcia but you had been eyeing it up since it first came out. You spent many nights on animal crossing visiting Garcia and her magic candy land island. It was one way to experience the outside world without actually being there. There was something wholly therapeutic about going fishing, planting flowers and giving gifts to your wonderful animal villagers.

 Spencer, of course, didn’t really understand the appeal. Despite having the most wonderful brain you’d ever met, he seemed to have a block when it came to technology. He never discouraged you playing, but always looked over your shoulder with a furrowed brow whenever he saw you.

 “See that, y/n, there’s no way all those fossils would be in such close proximity to one another in such a small area.” He commented on more than one occasion. “What use is archaeology when they are just there on the ground for you to see?”

 “Spence, it’s a fictional world, I really don’t think they took into account geographical locations of fossils…” you couldn’t help but laugh whenever you spoke about it.

 “Don’t even get me started on the physical anatomy of these animals! How disproportioned they are from the real thing! And the colours, y/n! Have you ever met a purple tiger before?”

 You knew that he meant no harm from his remarks and was probably getting enjoyment out of it. So you’d shrug, offer him a turn and wait for some comment about how he was going to read an FBI report from 1987 again, and open your switch back up once he was distracted.

 One night, you had stayed up late to make wishes on your island. You really needed the star fragments to craft your new DIY recipes and had spent hours posed in position, ready to make a wish. You hadn’t realised that you were falling asleep and your switch was falling out of your hand, until…

 “YES! YES! Take that you stupid arachnid!” you heard a shout.

 Waking up and looking to your left, you blinked in amazement to see Spencer sat with your switch gripped between his fingers.

 “Spence? What are you doing? Are you okay?!” Many sleepless nights and bad dreams had left you very susceptible to fear when you heard shouting.

 He looked over to you and his cheeks flushed. “Oh, y/n, honey I didn’t mean to wake you I’m sorry! It’s just you fell asleep with your game in your hand, I went to turn it off and ended up talking about the stars with this wonderful little owl… She just tells you all these facts. And they are accurate, too! I even wished upon a star.”

 “That’s Celeste.” You commented, and yawned. “Spence, what time is it?”

 He squinted at the screen before replying, “4am.”

 You laughed. “And how long have you been playing animal crossing?”

 His focus went back to the screen but he carried on talking to you. “Oh, a few hours now! I’ve just caught a tarantula, the stupid son of a bitch bit me before! Did you know they could bite you in the game? I was just running around trying to get my bearings and it ran up behind me and bit me. But I showed it who’s boss. And hey! It turns out I was wrong about the fossils, in a sense..”

 You raised one eyebrow, “Dr Reid, wrong?”

 “Well, not wrong exactly. It’s still highly unlikely that they would be so close together, so close to houses, and be found in just one dig. But I took one to the museum after I dug it up and was really surprised. I hadn’t realised how accurate the information provided was about these fossils! And the details in the display, too! You’ve got yourself rather an impressive collection, y/n.”

“Mhmm.” Tiredness was setting in but listening to Spencer talk about your game was more than entertaining. You sat up slowly, leaned across and rested your head on his shoulder. “What else have you been up to?”

 “Well I recalculated the position of some of your flowers to maximise chances of getting hybrids. I know purple is your favourite colour so I looked into the best way to get purple flowers!” Spencer was speaking in that quick, animated tone that told you he was really into something. “I even researched the quickest and most beneficial ways of befriending your villagers to maximise the gifts that they give you. I spent a lot of time talking to the Raymond character.”

 “Raymond reminds me of you, y’know. Dapper, sophisticated, looks great in glasses…” you replied, nudging his shoulder with your forehead. “How did you find out all of this?”

 “Well, I read the whole Nookipedia website and that gave me a pretty good idea.” He turned to you and grinned. Of course, the genius had become the master of your favourite game in a matter of hours. “You can test me on any of the villagers’ names and personality types.”

 You looked down and saw piles of notepaper, all scribbled on, splayed out across the bed. You picked one up entitled ‘terraforming.’ Instead of trying to decipher Spencer’s handwriting, you decided to ask him about it. “Spence… what’s all this paper? What are these drawings?” You tilted your head and the paper simultaneously to try and get a better understanding of his scribbles.

 “Oh! I’ve been looking into reshaping your island. I came up with a few designs I thought you might like. My personal favourite is the honeybee, cos I know they are your favourite, so I calculated how we can use the terraforming tool to turn your island into a bee. Garcia would be so jealous and…” he trailed off.

 “What’s the matter?”

 He looked back at you with big puppy dog eyes. He chewed on his bottom lip a little before he spoke. “I’ve gone too far, haven’t I? This was your game, your private space, I never meant to take over. You really have done a great job…”

 All you could do was laugh. You leaned over and planted a reassuring kiss on his cheek. “Honestly? I’m really happy that you’re into this now. It means I can talk to you about it. Just you wait until you see Garcia’s island!”

“Really, you’re not mad at me?”

“It would be impossible to be mad at you, Spence. Maybe we’ll set up your own character now.”

And with that, you kissed him again, nuzzling into the comfort of his arm. “Show me what else you’ve been doing…”

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Strings”

Happy Saturday, RWBY friends! I am, quite obviously, going to dive into the recap in just a moment, but first I wanted to take a short detour to discuss the elephant in the tumblr room. Namely, Supernatural.

For those of you out of the loop, the tl;dr is that a fifteen year, beloved show ended with a truly horrendous finale. Specifically, the finale rejected everything that the show had been building towards: the logical conclusion to character arcs, the theme that “family don’t end in blood,” the potential for a queer romantic relationship… I could go on. The point I want to make is that the fandom had every reason to believe we’d be getting these things. This isn’t a case of fans upset that the finale didn’t go the way they wanted as an individual viewer, but rather that the finale didn’t go the way the show clearly and explicitly said it would. It’s not an exaggeration to say that in many respects, viewers were straight up lied to.

(I recommend reading the reviews.) 

What does this all have to do with RWBY? Well, I can’t help but think that history is repeating itself. Certainly there are some notable similarities between the two series. Both have long, meandering plotlines with no clear end in sight (though I hope RWBY doesn’t reach the 15 Volume mark…). Both began with a small, core cast, but quickly expanded—generating the expectation that these now equally important characters will be given their due. Both have moved from the small conflict of fighting everyday monsters to a god-based mythology. Both have a popular queer relationship dangled in front of the viewers, featuring scenes where they’re “obviously” in love… but will it ever be confirmed? Both have a fanbase that says loudly and confidently that the writers know what they’re doing. Just wait! It’s all been planned! We’ll be rewarded for our patience and soon all the naysayers will be proven wrong.

Thing is, the Supernatural fandom wasn’t rewarded. Right up until a week ago those fans—myself included—had faith that the writers knew what they were doing because they can’t really be that out of touch with their own story...right? It’s not possible. Yet they were, it was, and now that I’ve gotten solid proof of precisely how far a show can go to reject its own logic, themes, and premise, that just makes me more wary of RWBY’s mistakes. Before I had a solid faith that things couldn’t possibly get that bad, that no matter how much RWBY might be messing up in the short term, it will undoubtedly pull it together overall, because what show wouldn’t? Especially a show with such promise and, at times, wonderful storytelling. Well, Supernatural didn’t manage it and frankly I’m not sure what to do with that information.

Seriously. I don’t have any grand conclusion here. It’s not my intention to suggest that anyone should stop watching RWBY, or to claim that it will absolutely fail because Supernatural did. Obviously, we don’t know what will happen until we get to see it in the show. I only want to acknowledge these parallels and the similar journey I see both fanbases on. I can’t help but wonder if, a couple years from now, RWBY fans will be making incredibly optimistic posts about how it’s all coming together, just have some faith, everyone who says that the group won’t get a satisfying ending, or Blake and Yang won’t be confirmed are just mean trolls… only to wake up that Saturday morning and get another metaphorical slap in the face.

It’s something to think about.

But here I’ve spent a page talking about the wrong show. Let’s get into the episode!

We open on a black screen with lots of ambiguous noises. At first I thought this was Oscar struggling in the Hound’s grip or something, but then I remembered that RWBY likes to insert an episode between cliffhangers. I watched Ironwood (presumably) shoot a guy and he only came back this week (though that question still isn’t answered. At this point I kind of wonder if it will be). Oscar was kidnapped last week, which means we won’t get to see him until next week. Or… two weeks from now? RT skips the week of Thanksgiving, don’t they? Sounds familiar doesn’t it? Something horrible happens to Oscar and we need to wait two weeks to find out how it’s resolved. 

Watch him escape the Hound off screen and return to the group with a new outfit 😂

So it’s not Oscar we hear, but Ruby, the last one coming out of the tube. Weiss is in the process of pulling Nora’s ear for that stunt… with a frankly strange looking hand. What’s up with RWBY animating weird hands lately? I’m pretty sure that’s not how anatomy works.

Anyway, Nora counters that this was a “Once in a lifetime experience,” but they were all going to go through the tubes regardless. Weiss isn’t pissed that you sent her through, she’s pissed that you did it unexpectedly when she was alone, heading into enemy territory. But of course, there’s no one in the room to hinder them, so the mistake is meaningless.

We’re setting the tone again though. For the first half of this episode everything is sunshine and giddy adventure, which doesn’t fit the situation at all. It also creates emotional whiplash when I’m suddenly supposed to be super worried about things later on. This sort of about-face works once in a blue moon, as an emotional punch, like we see in Mulan: 

But RWBY does it every other episode, which makes the overall tone of the series confusing instead. Half the time RWBY feels like two different stories—the cartoony tale of girls going on fun adventures, and the traumatic tale of a fantasy war—that have been badly spliced together.

“Alight, Robo-Girl, which way?” May asks and Penny demonstrates why she’s the best for sneaking into a facility. She’s able to map out the whole place, including seeing where everyone is so they can avoid detection. Kudos to RT for going this route. I was worried that they would have Ruby and the others straight up attacking Atlas grunts, knocking them out/potentially even killing them because who cares, right? They’re the bad guys! So I’m glad they’re working to get in and out undetected. Granted, we see in some places that they’re clearly willing to fight the soldiers if it comes to that—they’re reaching for their weapons when Penny opens the final door, expecting the room to be full of people. They were going to attack—but at least they’re trying to lessen that conflict as much as possible. That’s the sort of choice I expect to see from heroes and I’m glad we got it here. 

After scouting the area Penny corrects May: “And my name is Penny,” to which Ruby gives a satisfied “Heh.” I’ve got no problem with Penny rejecting nicknames, even potentially well-meaning ones, because she’s always struggled with her status as a real girl and her name is her own. She gets to decide what others call her. I do, however, have a problem with making the presumed trans character the one who is corrected. Granted yes, we haven’t gotten confirmation in the show that May is trans, but RT doesn’t get to cash in on that rep without likewise suffering the consequences for how the character is treated. You’re telling me that a trans woman is going to roll her eyes when someone asks her to use a specific name? Please give May flaws, yes, she’s a person, but out of all the millions of flaws across the human spectrum, this is the one we’re shown? 

Not to mention Ruby’s continued attitude. It’s like, ‘Yeah, May. Stop being a horrible person who draws attention to the fact that Penny is a robot. I never did that.’ Except when Ruby first met her she didn’t know Penny was a robot. Just like she didn’t know Blake was a faunus—something we’re reminded of this episode. We might assume Ruby wouldn’t have ever made any missteps at the beginning of these relationships, but the fact remains that she got to know both girls before their minority status was ever revealed. Ruby loved them before she ever had to grapple with their differences. 

Put in her place, May then demonstrates that she can make lots of people invisible, not just herself. That’s handy. She creates an invisibility bubble that reminds me of Harry’s invisibility cloak. In the sense that others might not be able to see you, but they can still hear and touch you, which makes sneaking around still pretty challenging.

No sooner have I thought that then two guards get into the elevator with them. The group keeps quiet as the duo discusses how no one can get close to Salem’s storm without “getting shocked right out of the air.” Interesting. And frankly one hell of a roadblock if the Hound escapes into the clouds. Oscar may be gone for a while if he doesn’t escape on his own... The woman also comments about how creepy it is that all the grimm are just hanging out, waiting. It’s “worse than if they’d attacked.”

No it’s not! RT, stop trying to implement the idea that Salem withholding her forces is some epically cool choice. She should have decimated everyone by now and the fact that she hasn’t just shows how transparent the problem is: you’ve created a villain that’s too powerful and now you don’t know what to do with her.

As the group sneaks out of the elevator Nora grins and presses all the buttons, which is, as expected, a dumb move. They’re supposed to be sneaking into this base. If they’re caught they’re going to be thrown in jail at best, killed at worst, but Nora wants to risk that for a practical joke? Again and again we see this insistence on incorporating comedy where it’s not only unnecessary, but actively interferes with other aspects of the scene.

Reaching a terminal, Penny inserts her finger and gains access via Pietro’s credentials. She’s really demonstrating this episode why she’s… pretty terrifying? I mean, Penny is an incredibly powerful fighter with a computer’s view of the world, access to everything in the most powerful Kingdom alongside its information, and she now has Maiden powers to boot. Which, I should add, it took her one fight to master (because remember, the heroes are now always as strong as they need to be to win…). Now that Watts is planning to hack her, I expect her to be an incredibly formidable enemy, just given the amount she could potentially do. I think Penny herself is too kind to exploit all that potential and as we’ll see via Pietro briefly taking control, she doesn’t always have the knowledge to use the tools at her disposal. But in the hands of someone like Watts? He’ll turn Penny into the ultimate weapon.

Access granted, they learn that they have to go “Right through central command!” Of course, Penny makes it sound like a fun game and the spy-movie music/cartoon lecture doesn’t help. Again, tone. It’s adorable! It just doesn’t fit sneaking into a military base with your lives on the line while Salem waits outside. That was a RWBY Chibi moment. 

Penny explains—twice—that Ruby can use her semblance to fly them all through central command and it’s treated like a revelation. At first, I was pretty confused because Ruby has been dong this for ages? She carried Weiss in “Argus Limited” and Nora during the Geist fight. But upon close inspection, what Penny seems to have “figured out” is that Ruby can carry multiple people at once because the “mass doesn’t matter.” Okay. Not a contradiction then, though I think RT could have made it a little more clear that Ruby was shocked at the idea of carrying multiple people, not carrying someone at all.

What I do take issue with though is Ruby mastering this skill instantaneously. I mean, why is Ruby being forced to try this on the fly (pun not intended)—Penny has known the layout of the building since they made this plan. She knew they had to get past central control and that it would be packed with people. She’s obviously thought about Ruby’s semblance a great deal—and why is she succeeding? Give me a Volume 7 where Ruby actually trains in this technique, set up via Harriet’s comment early on about her semblance, and then she’s victorious here when it finally matters. Or give me Ruby assuming she can pull off this incredibly difficult skill only to fall out of her semblance halfway through, a roomful of Atlas personnel staring at them. Then what? 

Not this.

This is a character who does everything perfectly on the first try without ever having to fail. Ruby is boring like this.

Crisis averted, we transfer to Ironwood who is… working with Watts.

What else is there to say? I’ve already laid out all the reasons why this is stupid and makes no sense. Others keep coming onto my posts to explain to me how Ironwood’s awful deeds up until now fully show his decent into villainy, conveniently ignoring the numerous limitations he was under and his choice to do what he thought was best for the world using inaccurate information. Ironwood was always a divisive character and many are happy to ignore the years’ worth of deconstruction done—a man who looks like the Evil Military General but actually isn’t—because they never liked him to begin with. Not liking him is fine, no one has to like any character, but I’m honestly shocked by the number of viewers who refuse to acknowledge how bad the writing is, even if it means defending a character they hate a teensy tiny bit (#SupernaturalVibes). As a friend put it, Ironwood now feels like a caricature of his former self, a Pure Evil Ironwood who appeared out of nowhere and is now here to stay. He shoots kids. He shoots unarmed civilians. He teams up with Salem’s men and tries to hack Penny. These are undeniably horrible acts, they’ve just been given to a character who never would have done them until RT randomly flipped the Evil switch.

The “RWBY” tag, alongside all the fluff moments of this episode, is now filled with posts encouraging Marrow to turn, yelling at the Ace Ops for being “bootlickers,” and capslock screaming at anyone who dared to speak up for Ironwood. It still sucks to have bad writing twisted into an attack on the fans and it’s going to continue to suck until at least the rest of Volume 8. I’d like to again remind everyone that Qrow teamed up with Tyrian a few episodes, yet because he’s again in Ruby’s graces, that was twisted into a ‘not that bad’ situation. The issue isn’t really that Ironwood is teaming up with one of Salem’s subordinates, but that he’s doing it to go against RWBYJNOR… the second a character teams up with Salem to get what Ruby wants (to not have her team in jail) then that’s totally fine… but that’s a wrinkle a lot of people are happy to ignore. 

So yeah, Ironwood is an idiot now too. Like Qrow also was last Volume. He really thinks Watts isn’t going to betray him somehow? Although, I do wonder if the chance to ruin Pietro’s creation outweighs his loyalty to Salem, but the point is that Ironwood can’t be sure of that either. At least he’s smart enough to keep Watts under continuous guard. He puts his hand on Watts’ shoulders and goes, “I’d hate for us to have to try motivating you. Again.”

So he tortures people too now? Like I said, caricature. This was Ironwood and we were given no clear idea of where he disappeared to.

RIP a great character.

Watts notices though that Pietro has apparently accessed a secure area and alerts Ironwood to it. I laugh that the information is just ¡EMERGENCY! In large, red letters. Ironwood immediately makes an announcement for everyone to be on guard. It’s a level 3 lockdown — that won’t impede the group leaving via airship! — and they’re to use “lethal force” if necessary. Weiss is disgusted.

As much as I disagree with making Ironwood into a shoot first, ask questions later kind of guy  — he’s definitely wrong to be doing this — I also find myself rolling my eyes at reactions like that. Yes, Weiss. You attacked four operatives until they were knocked unconscious. Prevented an entire city from escaping Salem’s wrath, endangering them all. Now you’re breaking into the most classified room in the Kingdom to steal an equally qualified project and use it for your own means. There’s no reason why Ironwood would level his might against you. Is death still an extreme response? Yes. Should Weiss be acting like Ironwood is crazy for responding to them in an extreme manner? No. Her remark makes it sound like Ironwood is attacking her poor, innocent, defenseless team… not the team that’s been lying to him, betraying him, attacking him, and stealing from him. Not the team carrying deadly weapons into a facility to take what they want at any cost. 

With their presence known, May wants to go grab an airship. That’s the series now.

Meanwhile, Penny insists that they can still complete their mission and we see Nora come up with some sort of plan. 

Except, what plan was this?? What did she say to the group? ‘Hey, let’s wait around until some guy conveniently walks by with a full cup of coffee. Then we can trip him and the mug will fly alllll the way across this gap to land on a terminal, startling at least two workers. Except this guy will be hated by the whole room because he’s always messing things up—his coffee mug has been changed from #1 Dad to #1 Dud—so that this little mishap will create a ruckus that gets everyone involved, giving us the opportunity to slip by them all.’

Seriously, what? This kind of “plan” only works with someone like Clover, where we know he has a good luck semblance and thus all these unlikely pieces fall into place. I could absolutely buy Clover smiling smugly, working under the knowledge that he just has to wait around a few minutes and something will come along that works entirely in his favor. But Nora? How did she know any of this would happen? Obviously she couldn’t have, so what exactly was their intention if this coffee carrying, hated guy didn’t show up? RWBY, your contrived plots are showing.

I do, however, love the grimm Jaws poster. Jaws is an absolute favorite of mine, so seeing a reference to it in RWBY? A funny one at that? It almost makes up for how bad this episode is lol.

Because frankly I’m bored. The group sneaks around, criticizes May and Ironwood, briefly confuses me about Ruby’s semblance knowledge, and gets through tons of Atlas personnel in the stupidest way possible. I have to watch this guy running out of the room with coffee on his pants screaming, “WHHHYYY???” and he doesn’t notice the five girls standing right next to him. It’s silly. It’s boring. Luckily for RWBY, things are about to pick up in the second half.

After Ruby gets them upstairs and the final room is also conveniently devoid of people, Pietro takes control of Penny—including yellow possession eyes like Oscar has with Ozpin—and he...gets Amity started. That’s it. After a whole volume of ‘It’s not finished yet’ and ‘We barely have the resources’ and ‘Robyn stole what we were using to do idek what with’ he presses buttons for a while and they’re in. How good for them!

I do love that Penny calls Pietro “Dad” though. I’m here for the android-father relationship.

While Pietro works we turn to Blake, Weiss, and Nora. Blake tries to convince the audience that Ruby and Yang had an actual fight with, “I’ve never seen Yang and Ruby fight like this.” Yeah, because no one in this group has ever said the sliiiiightest thing against Ruby, so you all read the tinniest disagreement as a “fight” to be worried about. I mean, doesn’t RT have friends to draw inspiration from? They’ve never disagreed about Huge and Complex Questions before? Never gotten pissed and then shrugged it off the next time you want to text? RWBY’s idea of a diverse friend group feels like many other writers’ idea of a sibling relationship: anyone with an actual sibling goes, “What is this?” Speaking of, Weiss explains that sisters often have “very different ideas about what’s right” as if, again, people don’t have different ideas? Just in general? Why is this suddenly a sister thing? She’s clearly thinking about Winter, but doesn’t actually bring it up, so all we’re left with is the same situation we had last Volume. Weiss thinks she’s right, Winter is wrong, and they’re just going down their separate roads because there’s definitely no reason to re-examine any choices here. It’s all static. 

Until Winter betrays Ironwood, of course. 

Nora tries to reassure Blake that the group will be fine (ha) even though they’ve split, the irony being that we, the audience, know they just got wrecked by the Hound. Jaune is a great leader though, Oscar has grown so much, Yang could defend them all in a fight, and Ren… well, she can’t think of anything to say about Ren. I hate the Nora is acting like Ren has drawn away from her for no reason, after she chose to kiss him—without consent—rather than listening to what was bothering him, then proceeded to pretend that this mystery problem never existed. What does she expect? I do, however, like the general acknowledgement that she doesn’t know who she is without Ren. Who is Nora? Someone who is “strong and hit[s] stuff?”

See, this feels like RT writing self-consciously because Nora doesn’t have much of a personality. Oh, on a surface level she’s bursting with it, but past the bubbly exterior? That single layer? We can add maybe one thing to this “Likes Ren, is strong, hits stuff” list: she’s funny. That’s it. Anything else we might add like “she’s loyal” or “she’s kind” is just a generic characteristic of this entire team. They’re all meant to be crazy talented good guys and even the “is strong” aspect is suspect when others frequently pull off attacks as showy as Nora’s hammer hits. So who is she? What are Nora’s dreams? What are her hobbies? Her fears? Her history? We’ve seen a single flashback of her on the streets and one scene back at Beacon where she listens to music and reads a magazine. Seven years worth of material and that’s it. There’s a reason why the go-to, non-combat action for Nora in fics is “makes pancakes.” We know so little about her still. 

So I was excited for a brief, shining moment. Yes! Explore who Nora is outside of being strong and hitting stuff! … and then her big action this episode is, as she says, being strong and hitting something. Don’t get me wrong, outside of that setup it’s pretty epic. I like Nora going to those lengths to save Penny and I absolutely love the repercussions of the choice: a broken aura, passing out, and badass lightning scars all over her arms and neck (especially when women often aren’t allowed to accumulate scars in visual media). That’s pretty damn awesome. It’s just that it comes on the heels of the story insisting that Nora is more than this, that we’ll learn something new about her… and we haven’t. This is indeed cool, but we already knew that Nora was willing to crazy lengths by hitting things really hard. That’s already her established norm.

At least this moment has some really nice characterization alongside the stupidity. The conversation between Ruby and Penny is just plain stupid. Penny wants to stay to help with the evacuations, but Pietro says she should come with him in Amity. Why? As Ruby says, because then she’ll be up in the sky and Salem won’t be able to access the relic.

That’s what Ironwood wanted to do! We could have had this conflict episodes ago with you all working with him! I really can’t with this cast. Also, the rest of this is still confusing. I thought pretty much everyone was in the slums by now, so what evacuation are they talking about? Do they plan to evacuate everyone in Mantle out of the kingdom somehow… like Ironwood wanted to do with Atlas? And why are they acting like Amity is evacuating some people too? I thought they were just using it as a communication device? To add insult to injury, Ruby then contradicts herself a minute later when she tells Harriet that Ironwood can’t have the relic because “Salem will find her way to the relic no matter where you go.” Ruby, if Salem can access the relic high in the sky she can also access Penny in the sky. If you believe that literally nowhere is safe then why are you sending Penny away under the claim that she—and via her the Relic—will be safer? If you want Penny in Amity to lessen the chance of Salem getting the Relic, why can’t Penny be in Atlas while simultaneously (hopefully) getting a whole slew of people to safety? 

I’m continually confused by this “plan” of theirs. Their claims just flip-flop according to what (supposedly) contrasts them with Ironwood. Even though that’s not actually the case.

Penny is me, sad while watching this train wreck of a scene. 

So yeah, the Ace Ops are here. I’ve wondered since the trailer why Weiss looked smug while everyone else was startled. Turns out it’s because of her line, “So, your first time losing to us wasn’t enough?” I can’t express how much I dislike all the girls’ personalities now. I want to shake some compassion and humility into them. Plus, they never should have won that fight in the first place. Marrow yells, “We were holding back!” but coming from the team’s weakest member it reads as defensive. Like we’re supposed to go, ‘Lol yeah right, Marrow. Just admit you got your ass kicked,’ even tough the Ace Ops should have wiped the floor with them, holding back or not. That’s my biggest takeaway from this fight: it’s the reverse of what we should have gotten. The Ace Ops should have beaten Team RWBY with ease and struggled greatly against an android Maiden, not falling before a bunch of teens and succeeding against Penny if not for Nora’s timely breakthrough. Your half-trained cast of growing heroes should not come across as more powerful than an intelligently designed weapon now wielding magic.  

Before the fight starts we get a whole lot of lines that are, frankly, frustrating. Vine tells Penny, “I thought you were supposed to protect the people, not hurt them” which is true enough. Penny is taking action that is putting a lot of people in danger, regardless of the fact that Ruby is at the helm. Problem is, the Ace Ops then blame her for Winter’s injuries and “stealing” the power? That’s not the issue here. The issue is Penny’s blind loyalty to Ruby, but by having the Ace Ops back a stance that is clearly inaccurate—Penny didn’t cause Winter’s injuries, Cinder did; Penny didn’t steal the powers, she was encouraged to take them—it makes them come across as Very Evil people who will twist things to make poor Penny look like the villain. Even if this is a case of Ace Ops having bad intel (which seems unlikely. Wouldn’t Winter have told them what happened?) RT has avoided letting the Ace Ops take a justified stance here because that would make them look too sympathetic… even though they do have multiple justified stances to take. Like, ‘Hey, stop keeping half a kingdom here where Salem can easily kill them all’ or, ‘Hey, why did you spend months betraying Ironwood and then turn on us instead of trying to find a compromise?’ Even, ‘Why did your uncle help kill our leader?’ There’s plenty that the Ace Ops should be rightfully pissed about, so choosing Penny and Winter out of everything feels like RT is firmly backing them into Ironwood’s corner: you’re just bad now and bad people blame innocent girls, rather than acknowledging the actual wrongs done against them. 

So we have Ruby contradicting herself and the Ace Ops backing warped ideas that make them look worse than they actually are. Adding to the stupidity is the fact that Elm mentions that Winter is in “critical condition” and Weiss… doesn’t care. Harriet then tells Ruby that she’s “throwing [her] in jail right next to your uncle, runt” and... Ruby doesn’t care. Qrow is missing and Ruby just found out he’s been captured by Ironwood, yet there’s no reaction whatsoever. This show continues to go hard on the ‘screw adults’ mentality, huh? Ozpin needs to keep quiet and is horrible for coming back. Ironwood is now a cartoon villain. Winter made the wrong choice so no one cares about her anymore, not even her sister. The Ace Ops remain enemies despite trying to talk things out. Qrow? Barely know him. Who’s he? This is a Ruby loves Penny episode. There isn’t enough emotional nuance for her to care about him too.

The sad thing is I adore Nuts&Dolts. In a different context these moments would be a goldmine for me. 

If anything, this episode feels worse than the majority of last week’s because there are good things here that have been thrown into a bad setup. I can’t get excited for the group’s battles when I see who they’re attacking. It’s hard to squee over Ruby hugging Penny when she doesn’t react to Qrow. Watching Nora go all Thor feels like it only has half its potential when it’s coming out of a very messing, ‘I’m more than just being strong and hitting things… which is why I’ll continue being strong and hitting things.’ RWBY has excellent moments set into a terrible story.

The fight, at least, is exciting. The Ace Ops goad Penny into stepping away so they can trap the rest of Ruby’s team—smart—and she’s forced to hold her own while Weiss tries to break through with her knight, then Nora overloads the system. To be frank, I’m not great at analyzing combat. Not unless I’m looking for something specific like whether a win is justified. I’ve already mentioned above the broad issue of the Ace Ops very nearly beating the most powerful fighter next to Salem herself, yet failing so spectacularly against Team RWBY. Outside of that context though? I really enjoyed this. Lots of tight action, creative attacks, teamwork, some emotional pauses throughout… it feels like a pretty solid battle. Put it on Youtube as a clip, outside of the rest of the story’s messiness, and you’ve got yourself a fantastic watch. 

We can’t stay in the combat forever though. During all this Weiss calls the Ace Ops “cowards” for making it four vs. one. You know, RWBY should really just do away with dialogue and make the show purely action because the cast frequently sounds so stupid when they speak. Like her comment about Ironwood’s lockdown… really Weiss? ‘Yes, we might be wanted criminals who betrayed this group in the worst possible way, but how dare they not do the honorable thing and have three of their teammates sit out while trying to capture us? Even though the girl they’re trying to capture has magic. I mean, the nerve of them!’

Weiss, at this point I’m not sure how to explain to you that the people you’ve made into your enemies do not owe you a fair fight. 

Another detail: we get to see Ruby fall off the edge of the walkway and this time she remembers she can fly! A definite improvement from Volume 6.

Finally: by the time Penny’s eyes go full Maiden in Elm’s grip, I think we’ve seen everything from our trailer. Episode 4 will truly be a mystery.

Ironwood has, of course, been watching the fight this whole time. When it looks like the Ace Ops will lose against the team he means to send in reinforcements, but Watts says he has “a message for your operatives.” Instead of capturing Penny they steal one of her swords instead, ending with a shot on Marrow looking conflicted.

Because remember, there’s no actual moral grayness in this story. The protagonists are right and everyone else is wrong. It’s (supposedly) black and white. Which means that if the Ace Ops have any hope of surviving this Volume and being seen as anything other than evil bootlickers, they have to join with Ruby. Marrow seems primed to do that.

Am I surprised? No. Disappointed? Always lol.

May has the airship ready to go and they fly off… despite the shields. And the lockdown. Consistency? Who’s she? Nora is said to be “in bad shape” and after another hug Penny leaves to hide in Amity, even though Ruby thinks that hiding is a useless, cowardly choice. Just not when she and her allies choose to do it.

We end the episode with Watts receiving Penny’s sword and making the statement, “If you can’t beat them… then make them join you.” I have to say, his cheesy villainy is something I continue to enjoy, even if it’s heavy handed at times. Watts is just fun. I do have to say though: if Penny is hacked, what does that say about her agency? We double-downed on the ‘real girl’ narrative by giving her the Maiden powers, but she’s simultaneously synthetic enough that a single piece of her can remove all autonomy? It once again feels like RT isn’t sure what point they’re trying to make, they’re just chucking a lot of themes at the wall and seeing what sticks. Still, we’ll have to let it all play out before making any judgements.

And that’s it for this week. It seems like this is a slightly shorter recap than normal, though that may be because I struggle with discussing pure action sequences, which made up a decent chunk of this episode. I’ll no doubt return to the Ace Ops vs. Penny fight when I’m not on a self-imposed, one day deadline for posting. The only thing left is to update the Bingo Card, but I don’t think we made any headway this week. So... good job, RWBY? 

I’m still going to hold off on the civilian’s square until Salem’s army actually attacks, as well as the two day timeline square.

No Winter this episode

Watts is teaming up with Ironwood which is… so much worse than him teaming up with Jacques again. Does a square get an X if the canon is even worse than what you assumed it would be??

Maria was mentioned this episode. Jury’s out on whether she’ll actually do anything.

Atlas is still standing, we knew Penny was heading towards a hack so it’s not much of a cliffhanger, no Qrow, no Ozpin, no Neo or Cinder.

It certainly looks like we can check off “The team gets Amity up and running,” but let’s just see if there are any problems next episode. If the problem is only ‘We would have launched it if not for Salem’s attack’ or something, I’m checking it off. The point is it would have worked.

I’m also leaning towards “More obvious Blake/Yang implications without confirming a relationship” given Blake’s heart-to-heart with Nora… but let’s see if the Volume does anything more egregious.

All in all (and perhaps despite what I’ve written above), I don’t think it’s fair to totally drag this episode. As said, this feels like a strong episode in a bad story, something that I would have LOVED if a) Salem weren’t here and b) the ‘ethical dilemma’ wasn’t boiled down to a ‘Team Ruby is good’ and ‘Ironwood and everyone associated with him is evil’ situation. It’s an episode whose tone and character action belong in a different version of RWBY. If you gave us this fun episode in an earlier Volume against a Pure Evil antagonist? It would have been great. 

Ah well. It is what it is. Expect more emotional whiplash when we come back and everyone learns that Oscar has been kidnapped by Salem’s talking pooch 🙃

See you then! 💜

[mochibuni]

In light of Lindsay Ellis quitting youtube and probably all social media, I just wanted to talk a little bit about how I’ve been pulling back from social media and how it gives me a little bit of anxiety, but I can’t step away because I need it for my career.

Please no reblogs.

I don’t know how many have noticed or really cared, but I definitely have been pulling back on sharing important parts of myself and general thoughts for a few years now. The First Tumblr Trash Fire where everything I drew was flagged as a female presenting nipple had me really pull away from here, pretty much one of the few places I felt comfortable being myself and sharing my thoughts in length, leaving me with online spaces where I only shared art.

I understand it’s better to share less, and how our culture has been pushing further and further into digging up past mistakes to punish people for just existing it’s for the better I haven’t been sharing very much. I can already think of a couple of posts that while wouldn’t get me chased off the internet, do make me cringe. It’s also better as an artist in terms of branding and having a freelance career based off of commissions and fandom to just be simple and pleasant. Sharing yourself too much can be a real turn off, but you also need to share just enough to keep some people interested. It’s a hard thing to balance and keep in mind coming from a fandom background where we all forged deep and lasting friendships over green jackets.

It has been a little isolating in the sense that I feel like I’m not connecting to anyone I don’t already know, which kind of sucks because I’ve spent the majority of my fandom days doing that. I’ve always used my art to make things for people, lots of silly things and little inside jokes, and just a lot of things that don’t make sense outside of a specific fannish space. The cornerstone of my drawing career, regardless of how I monetize it, is making people happy. Making something enjoyable, something that makes someone’s day a little bit brighter or fuller.

I also feel like such a robot for talking about myself in terms of branding, it sounds very impersonal and corporate-- and it is to an extent, and I’m sorry. I really want to make a career off of my art, so I’m playing the game because I’m not going to shoot myself in the foot about this. Dan is giving me the opportunity to seriously pursue drawing as a career and I owe it to him to give it my best shot within my own boundaries. I didn’t think I’d have a serious patreon or twitch stream or draw things that appeal to a wider audience instead of always drawing what I want. I just feel kind of fake, but I think that’s also the trade off for making art a career so I’m not mad about it, I just don’t want any of you to be mad at me for it.

I won’t ever stop talking about social issues I care about, that isn’t something I’ll compromise on. But it does give me pause to even lightly criticize media publicly. It makes me anxious to be in spaces like twitter just talking about myself, or accidentally drawing something problematic. Of course I’m going to make mistakes, I’m always learning, but this year alone in addition to being accused of cp because of my art style I was also told my art of black women is racist because I picked pink make up (and I was also told it wasn’t, but I take criticisms like that seriously, because they deserve honest reflection). I’m trying, I’m learning, and I’m going to keep trying because I need to learn, but now I’m just worrying all the time I try to draw a dark skinned POC because I don’t want to be offensive, but the whole part of the drawing process is to fucking LEARN. I have to be able to make mistakes in my art in order to learn and grow from them, art is a skill and it takes PRACTICE. And I’m worried that one day someone is going to take one of my older pieces and use it as fodder to try and ruin me.

And when I say mistakes I mean anatomy and coloring are the things I want to be able to mess up and learn from, not excusing racist depictions and what not. I’m also not trying to make excuses for myself or fish for sympathy, and I also feel it’s hard to just talk openly about issues I’m facing without feeling like I’m attention seeking and childish. I really feel these are topics we should be more open about, but that kind of vulnerability in the current internet climate just sucks.

On top of being an older woman in fandom that likes cute things and has a cute art style and how stigmatized that can be, I just kind of hate being online sometimes. But I really need social media to be the kind of freelance artist I am so I’m here just trying to do enough. I’m sorry I pulled back, I really hope what I’m giving is enough for right now.

[boukenboy]

#17: セブンスドラゴン2020 / 7th Dragon: 2020

The year is 2020. The world is under siege by murder hornets, political unrest, a pandemic, and swarms of ferocious dragons. The fact that only one of the above is fake speaks to how much of a dumpster fire this year has been. Personally, as an "essential worker" who runs a coffee kiosk, some of the behavior that I have witnessed with regards to masks and general safety has taken what little faith I had in humanity and ground it into dust. I have been gaming - and drinking - much more than I ever used to, and while it has saved me money in the long run, I sometimes feel guilty with how much I've dove into this hobby. But who cares, really?

I discovered 7th Dragon 2020 through a random late-night Google search: I occasionally dig around the Japanese side of the internet for research on what games I'd like to play next, and the moment I realized that this game was set in post-apocalyptic Tokyo, in the year 2020, I knew I had to play the absolute hell out of it, regardless of quality.

Art imitating life? We love to see it!

As stated above, 7th Dragon takes place in Tokyo, Japan. You begin by creating your main character, choosing a class and appearance. What really surprised me, however, was the sheer amount of voices you can choose from - I'm not really an anime fan, but according to the game's official website, quite a few famous voice actors lent their talent to the game, and they're all full of personality. Want to make a foul-mouthed gothic lolita? You can. A beefcake with the voice of a 10 year old? You can do that too.

The game features 5 different classes to choose from: Samurai, Destroyer, Psychic, Hacker, and Trickster. Out of these five, I decided to make my main character a Trickster - all classes in 7th Dragon are essentially a sort-of "two-in-one" deal, and in the Trickster's case, their skills are divided between gun and dagger skills, and they both do very different things. Daggers tend to focus more on applying various debuffs to enemies - such as poison, silence, and so forth, while with guns, you'll be avoiding enemy attacks, employing counters, and inducing critical attacks. With the proper set-up, gun Tricksters can then apply constant damage with a possibility of avoiding enemies entirely. To round out the party of three, I then chose to make a Hacker and Destroyer.

Destroyers are your main brawler class, but with an interesting twist. Their abilities all revolve around applying what is called a D-Counter to enemies - certain attacks increase this value, and you can only perform the more devastating attacks once you raise this to the appropriate level. D-Counters wear off over time, too, so it is important for this class to keep up offensive pressure in order to be effective.

Alternatively, you can develop them to become more of a tank: Destroyers possess a stance that draws enemy attention. Once attacked, they'll respond with a powerful counter - this is obviously a great way to protect your squishier party members, and it is extremely satisfying when you successfully bait enemies into destruction. Later on, you'll learn more specialized counters that will allow you to ignore enemy damage entirely, but there's a catch: you have to predict what type of attack they'll use - will they try and bite you, use their claws, or cast a spell? You'll have to pay attention to not only monster anatomy, but to attack patterns, too.

Hackers are the main support class in 7th Dragon: they have the bog-standard buffing spells, but I have to give special recognition to the developers of 7th Dragon for going out of their way to come up with some unique abilities that I have yet to see in any other game. For example, Hackers can set-up a "safety net" that will automatically revive fallen party members at the end of a round, but it is required to be casted at the beginning of that turn. Know a boss is about to end you with their strongest attack? Cast it and hope for the best. They can also decrease the amount of turns your party suffers from status effects, and even increase the rate at which your auto-skills activate.

They can, true to their name, also "hack" into enemies. I haven't played with these skills as of this writing, but it involves the Hacker inducing a status effect of the same name, and then causing all sorts of shenanigans. Other classes possess abilities that can make enemies weak to hacking, which reduces the amount of set-up required. In my case, I decided to focus on the support abilities due to the gaps in my party's defenses, but I can easily see how a more offense-focused Hacker can be a huge asset in battle.

As stated earlier, 7th Dragon 2020 takes place in Tokyo after a sudden and cataclysmic invasion by hordes of enigmatic dragons. Their ultimate objective is unknown, as they do not speak or interact in any manner that is not hostile. You play as a member of the government organization Murakumo, lead by an alarmingly busty woman known as Natsume. Determined to take back the country, you are then sent out into various Tokyo neighborhoods, warped by the dragon's magic, in order to discover the true nature of your nemesis.

I really enjoyed how little you know about the reptilian threat: it reads almost Lovecraftian - these beings are beyond human comprehension, and have the ability to warp reality as they see fit, resulting in some fantastic environments. One of my favorites is the sky-high giant sphere of railroad tracks in Ikebukuro - traversing it feels like you've really stumbled upon some twisted version of our own world.

Along the way, you'll encounter the members of an organization known as SKY - initially the villains of the game, you'll eventually become allies in their search for the one with what they call "the power." If you have played any RPG at all, I'm sure you can figure out just who that is. There's also a large variety of secondary characters, but overall, the game's plot isn't very innovative, but it's serviceable. What surprised me, however, was just how dark some scenes were. In one instance, you cooperate with the Japanese military in order to stop a massive dragon-made cannon, only to watch dozens of your fellow soldiers die in front of your eyes.

7th Dragon isn't afraid to kill off your friends, either - there are sections in the story that are utter bloodbaths. Certain characters the game seemed to favor early on are promptly killed off at random, and the way the survivors react to the trauma of losing their companions is a major story-point that resounds throughout the later chapters of 2020. I was surprised as to how the allegiances between the cast shift as the game progresses - their relationships, and the way they evolve was, to be honest, way more intriguing than the main plot of, "Dragons are bad."

7th Dragon also features a base development system, in which you'll use materials gathered from defeated dragons to add new weapons to shops, create more residential spaces for refugees, and unlock optional side-quests. You can also recruit Hatsune Miku, because of course you can. Why wouldn’t you? Doing so unlocks a remixed soundtrack featuring said vocaloid, but nothing else. It's a curious addition to the game, and the re-done tracks are pretty cool. Unfortunately, the side-quests in 7th Dragon tend to have poor rewards and vague objectives, so I abandoned doing them around halfway through the game.

  I can see fans of the Shin Megami Tensei and Etrian Odyssey series finding a lot to love in 7th Dragon. Creating a party that works well together is extremely satisfying, especially given the high level of challenge the game has during boss battles. The plot isn't anything impressive, but the ensemble cast and the blood-soaked shenanigans more than make up for it. I can confidently recommend this game to anybody who seeks a marginally less horrifying version of our current apocalypse. But who knows? If 2021 brings us dragons, I can only pray they eat me first.

[nitewrighter]

We need more ASOIAF gency pls

Oh man it’s been a hot minute since I’ve written for that AU. And by hot minute I mean three years.

Previous Ficlets: 1, 2

“The nature of humanity is every so often we accidentally reinvent the Jaime/Brienne Bath Scene.”

-----

They waited for a long while until the rain on the sept would let up, but it seemed the rain would only reduce itself, not stop completely. As time passed it was argued that if they didn’t want to spend the night in that crumbling sept, they would have to keep moving. Mercy would have preferred them to stay where they were and allowed Genji more time to recover from his injuries, but conceded being this exposed to the cold and wet only put him at further risk for suppuration. Orisa had a map on her person that indicated a village a few hours’ travel southwest. After some bickering debate with a still somewhat delirious Genji, the three of them found themselves walking the kingsroad in a prickling drizzle, the rolling hills of the Riverlands seemingly buckling under the white weight of mist.

 Both Orisa and Mercy had insisted on putting Genji up on Orisa’s horse, Dynast, with his injuries, and he argued something about looking like an ass making a Septa walk while he rode, but eventually Orisa just hoisted him up into the saddle and his wince from his wounds cut off any further argument. Genji rode with a sour frown on his face. His hand still over the point where Mercy had laid the kingscopper poultice over the worst of his wounds.  She tried not to look at him too much as they walked, and when she did, she did her best to convince herself that it was out of concern for his injuries, not studying the face of the would-be betrothed she was supposed to be fleeing. The mud of the road sucked up around Mercy’s boots and skirts, and at one point got so deep that she stumbled when her foot loosened in her boot. She stumbled and lost her balance, flailing and braced herself for a face full of mud, but then she felt a hand catch her arm. 

“Thank you, Lady Orisa--” she started as she regained her footing and yanked her skirts up out of the mud with her other hand, but then she realized the hand gripping her wasn’t armored. 

She glanced up to see Genji, the drizzle making his dark hair stick to his forehead. He had caught her arm before she could fall in the mud.

“Th-thank you, My Lord,” she managed, glancing off as they resumed walking.

“That’s fine armor you have on, Lady Orisa,” Genji commented on as Orisa flipped up the visor of her horned helmet with the darkening skies, “Stormlands?”

“Yes,” said Orisa, glancing off.

“...And you swore your sword to the Seven to avoid being conscripted into Ogundimu’s power grab, I take it?” said Genji, turning his attention back forward.

“I swore my sword to the light of the seven because I trust gods more than men, Lord Shimada,” said Orisa tersely, giving a weary and wary glance to Mercy.  Mercy wondered which of the seven hells they would be going to for their deceit... but then again she was already disgracing Woolflower Hall by fleeing her betrothal and lying to her betrothed’s face, might as well throw heresy into the mix. They had only meant to get Mercy to Oldtown, but now they were losing time and ground, and they were in the company of the very person they were supposed to be fleeing.

“Practical,” Genji said with some amusement, “I bet the Smith’s your favorite.”

A prickle of fear went through both Orisa and Mercy at the mention of the Smith. It was the Patron aspect of the Sept at Aurochs-ford Hall, the seat of House Oladele--was Genji saying he knew which house Orisa was sworn to before she started protecting Mercy? 

Play the role and the fool, Mercy decided, Fear only rouses more suspicion.

“They’re aspects of a septune god, My Lord, you’re not supposed to have ‘favorites,’” said Mercy, assuming the best holier-than-thou Septa voice she could.

“Doesn’t stop folk from having one. Personally, I like the Stranger,” said Genji, clearly goading her. So he was just talking. Spouting charming nonsenses to fill the air. 

Your fear is getting the better of you, Mercy thought to herself, He’s a vain and silly lordling, and once he’s safely at the Inn, you can leave him first thing in the morning.

“Best not to say that too loud with your injuries, my lord,” said Mercy, giving him a shrewd sidelong glance.

He gave her a smile, though she assumed it was more at his own teasing than anything.

It was only dusk, but with the weather so bad it may as well have been night by the time they reached the Inn of the Kneeling Man. The innkeep was a tall, uncomely woman whose sharp, dark eyes scanned across the three of them as they stabled their horse and walked in--bloody, muddy, and soaked to the bone. She eyed Genji’s clothes.

“...bit of a small traveling party for a lordling,” the innkeep remarked.

Genji scoffed. “We will be needing a room. Two tubs. And enough hot water for three baths. If you have access to Ravens, I should need pen and paper as well. I must write my brother to let him know where his machinations have landed me.”

“He was injured by brigands,” Mercy explained, “Is there a Maester we can call who can attend his injuries as he bathes?”

“There’s a sept in a village a few hours’ ride north,” said the Innkeep, “But to get word to him and for him to get down here...he wouldn’t be here but by morning.”

“...Ah,” Mercy glanced down.

“But it was you who set the poultice earlier. Getting tired of me already, Septa?” Genji tilted his head at her.

 Mercy caught herself. If she had attended his injuries before, why would she stop now? Because he would be in a bath? She felt her ears burn and was thankful they were covered by a Septa’s wimple. 

“A maester would be better equipped for someone of your status, my lord,” said Mercy, glancing off.

“I’m too tired to wait hours for an old man to hobble over on a donkey in the dead of night and look me over,” said Genji with an eye-roll, “You’re a healer, and you’ve kept me alive this long. Besides, it’s not like it’s anything you haven’t seen before.”

“...of course, my lord,” there was a slight shake to her agreement and Orisa looked over her with some alarm.

“Lady Orisa, you’ve been walking in armor for hours,” said Mercy, “You may take your bath in our room, and I will see to Lord Shimada.”

Orisa’s eyes flicked to Genji, now haggling with the innkeep and explaining he would leave his chestplate as collateral for payment for the night before arranging with his brother to send them gold, and then back to Mercy. There was a wary confusion in her eyes but Mercy gave her a glance that said, “We’ll play our roles.” 

----

“Perhaps you can feign a cold?” said Orisa, peeling off her armor as an Innmaid filled her wooden tub with steaming water from a kettle.

“He did say it was nothing I haven’t seen before,” Mercy responded quietly, “And--and I’ve already been healing him, and I’ve read plenty of Maester’s texts on medicine and anatomy,” Mercy scoffed, “He’s right. It’s nothing. I shouldn’t be more than a few minutes.”

Orisa gave Mercy an arched-eyebrow before stepping into the tub, a shuddering exhale falling out of her as she sank into the water. “Just... call me if you need me Lady An--I mean, Septa Mercy,” she said, sighing as she settled in, letting the warmth sooth her muscles. Mercy nodded, took her bag of herbs and stepped out of the room. Genji’s room in the inn was down the hall, and she heard him wincing even before she opened the door.

With the creak of wood the words, “I can undress myself--ngh!” flinched out of Genji as Mercy walked around him. Another innmaid had filled his tub and hurried out of the room, eyes cast down. Genji looked up over his shoulder at her. “Septa,” he said with a slight nod as she closed the distance between them.

“...My lord,” she said stepping in front of him and then focusing on the buckles of his brigantine. He winced as she pushed it off over his shoulders.

“I must thank you, Septa Mercy,” he said, stuffing down a grunt of pain as they both worked to get his tunic over his head, “And apologize. I’m sure your true calling is making life more bearable for the smallfolk, not thrust into the role of one more servant to a Storm Lord.”

“Well, for the sake of the smallfolk, one must make sure nothing befalls our noble storm lords,” said Mercy. He leaned against her as he stepped out of his boots, his breath drawing in tense. All that remained were his breeches. She looked with some concern down at the laces and became distracted for a second by the lines of his stomach. He was leaner than she would expect a lordling to be--scrappy and lithe, almost catlike, like a sellsword. She bit the inside of her lip and tried to remind herself that it was like the corpse diagrams of her Maester’s texts.

“They always suffer our petty dramas the most, don’t they?” Genji sighed, undoing the laces of his breeches to Mercy’s relief. He moved to pull his pants down and then grunted again. Mercy stepped back, giving him some space to try and maneuver better while still supporting him, he made eye contact with her, moved to pull down the breeches once more, and then drew in a pained breath through his teeth. “Septa,” he said tensely, “Know that I am a proud man, and were I capable, I would not ask you to perform this task but...” 

“...Right,” Mercy said, “I can...” she trailed off. Could she? Suddenly she was a stupid noble lady of Woolflower Hall sitting around uselessly again, not the practical, powerful healer she aspired to be. Or was she simply not that with Genji, studying her now with those dark eyes framed by thick eyelashes and even thicker brows? 

“Septa--?” he said and Mercy tried to use the panic her own hesitation induced to speed her hands without shaking them. Bracing one hand to support the uninjured side of his torso, she yanked down his breeches at several awkward points. She tried to focus her eyes on the chamberpot underneath the bed behind Genji before she finally managed to get his breeches down past his knees and rising up to support him at the shoulders as he stepped out of them. A huff escaped him, but she kept supporting his weight as he finally (finally!) stepped into the bath. She helped him lower as much as she could, but her own exhaustion from their travels had pushed her to her limits, and there was only so much weight she could support while bending over. But his own legs were jelly, and rendered even more so by the warm water around him, and he gracelessly plopped into the tub, sending water sloshing over the sides and grunting as he supported himself with his arms on the sides of the washbasin. The poultice on his side was coming apart, sending up small white and yellow flowers and tea-leaf-like bits floating up on the surface of the bath. The smell of them was soothing though. “Not exactly a gentle healer, are you?” said Genji, easing up in the bath. She studied the other injuries on his body. No signs of suppuration. No injuries on his legs that she had missed back in the ruined Sept. His delirium seemed to be mostly shock and blood loss. Good. 

Mercy laughed nervously at his words before quickly stepping away to prepare another poultice from her bag. “I suppose I’m used to treating rougher sorts--Smallfolk, you know.” She tried not to turn around as she worked. Tried not to look at the shifting of his shoulders and chest, or the little droplets running down it. She knew she would have to eventually, to clean off the remains of the old poultice, help him out, and apply the fresh one, but she focused on tearing apart herbs with shaking fingers.

Genji gave an amused huff out of his nostrils. “I suppose so,” he said quietly, “I used to envy them, used to think they were free enough to not be married off like chattel--but they are, same as us. I should just count myself lucky I’m not giving goats to Woolflower Hall.”

He brushed his wet hair back from his face as Mercy stepped over with a clean cloth and began wiping away the remainders of the old poultice.

“And my bride’s even less thrilled about it than I am, I look forward to having that much in common with her--nnh!” he winced, the water around the wound pinkening with blood as she brushed more kingscopper from him, “...if she’s not---

“Dead in a ditch somewhere?” said Mercy, “Yes. You’ve said. I will pray to the Maiden for her safe--”

“For her safe return, yes, you’ve said,” said Genji, clearly trying to talk through the pain.

Her eyes flicked up to him from his wound. “If you need more time to soak...” she started.

“I fear I’m a bit too lightheaded for that,” said Genji with a chuckle as she got up to fetch him a cloth to dry off with, “Oh Warrior, please lend our dear Septa your strength to get my useless arse out of the bath--Pardon the profanity.”

“You’re not exactly a gentle lordling yourself,” said Mercy, arching an eyebrow.

Genji just held an arm out to her. “Storm lord,” he said giving her a dizzy smile that made her stomach tense.

She cleared her throat, dropped to one knee next to the bath, shouldered his arm while bringing hers around his back, then slowly rose to her feet, bringing him up with her. A pained, grunting breath fell out of him, and he was dripping water all over her. A wave of lightheadedness visibly hit Genji as he rose, but Mercy was too busy trying not to look down, trying to focus on the chamberpot again as Genji almost drunkenly swung one leg over the edge of the washbasin.

“There...we go....” Genji winced. The day’s exhaustion was soaked into Mercy, too though. She could feel her legs shaking under his weight. 

“Genji?” she said warily.

“’Sfine...” Genji grunted, “’mfine, Storm lord...” his weight was swaying with only her as his support.

“Let’s get you over to the bed...” she grunted, walking over, trying not to look down. 

“Would that you were my bride, all... strong and no-nonsense... treating my wounds... like a song...” Genji seemed to be talking just to keep himself awake at this point, but his words made Mercy’s neck prickle with panic, “Alas, you’re married to the Seven...” His head lolled. He couldn’t seem to get his eyes to focus. 

Just get him to the bed, thought Mercy, Just get him to the bed, and get the other poultice on--

But then she slipped in the puddle of water Genji was dripping on the floor. And Genji was in no state to catch her this time. Quite the opposite. She landed on her hip with a pained grunt and Genji completely limp and naked on top of her. 

“Orisa!” the call came out of her as a flinch and there was a thunder of footsteps down the hall and Orisa wrenched the door open, clad only in a white cloth wrapped around her torso from the bath, but still wielding her arming sword.

“You would dishonor a Septa--!” she started furiously, but then she noted Genji’s complete limpness on top of her, “...please tell me he isn’t dead,” said Orisa.

“He’s passed out. Help me get him onto the bed,” said Mercy, attempting to flip the sodden cloth at Genji’s hip over his bare ass. 

“...I’m pretty sure when Lady Efi charged me with your protection, she didn’t imagine us doing anything like this,” said Orisa. 

“Orisa!” said Mercy, struggling under Genji’s unconscious frame.

Orisa sighed and bent down.

Together they managed get him onto the bed and cover his nakedness with a blanket. Mercy set a fresh poultice over his wound and watched for a few moments as his chest shallowly rose and fell. 

“Thank you, Orisa,” said Mercy, pushing the stray strands of hair that had fallen loose from her wimple back.

“Did we not agree we were getting you away from this betrothal?” Orisa’s voice was hushed, “Getting you to Oldtown so you could properly study the healing arts? Getting you away from the bitter rivalry of Storm Lords?”

“I know,” said Mercy, looking at Genji’s pale and scarred face, “...I know.”

“...I am getting my bedclothes on,” said Orisa flatly, “And you might see about getting a bath yourself.”

The exhaustion was deep in Mercy’s bones at this point, but the word ‘Bath’ gave her an unwanted flare of adrenaline.

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #13- Swerve Doesn’t Have Any Friends

Okay, let’s go ahead and get this out of the way.

It’s a FUCKING SPORTS BRA AND RUNNING SHORTS ALEX.

And don’t think I don’t see that friggin’ cleavage alien back there. You ain’t slick.

I’m going to make it a law that all comic book artists learn how to draw clothes that don’t vacuum-seal themselves to women’s bodies. Milne gets six months for this infraction alone, and Roche gets a year for the initial bra crime he committed back in Last Stand. Learn how women’s underwear works, you ninnies.

Our issue opens up with Swerve stretching his radio personality muscles.

Oh, Guido Guidi, whisk me away to flights of fancy!

Our artist for this issue is none other than Guido Guidi, ascended from fanwork to deliver us from evil with his near-superhuman ability to emulate other artists’ styles and just make things look really pretty. He was responsible for the mythos pages in the 2012 Annual, AKA the best part. He also filled in on some of the art for Last Stand of the Wreckers, not that I really noticed because he’s just that good.

Swerve lets Blurr know that while it might have looked like the Lost Light had exploded, thus killing everyone onboard back in issue #1, that isn’t actually what happened. I’m glad someone filled in the Cybertronian populace on that.

I was never great at math, but those speech bubbles might be phoning it in a bit.

Swerve says that he’s having a great time on the quest, despite all the hiccups, and we get an explanation for why this long-range communications system hasn’t been seen prior to this point. It’s been broken for a while- most likely due to the quantum jump that started the series off with a bang- but Blaster managed to get it running again. Good job, Blaster. With this little setup for our framing device out of the way, we get into the meat of the story.

Swerve is being nosey about things that weren’t any of his business, happening in a closed off room, when Drift drags him down the hall and hid him away for safety. Swerve doesn’t much appreciate being manhandled, but there’s a method to the madness here.

Drift’s nose has vacated the premises once again, so we’re just going to have to deal with that. And how shapely does one have to be to be known as “the guy with the legs”? I mean, Drift is RIGHT THERE.

Drift uses his own powerful legs to kick down the door to Cyclonus and Tailgate’s room. It turns out that the horrific screaming wasn’t the sound of a murder or sexual relations taking place, but rather that of Cyclonus singing in Old Cybertronian.

My god, he’s completely enamored with this unrepentant murder machine.

We are just all up in Cyclonus’ grill for this panel. Nothing but lips. Was this specified in the script? Because it feels like it might have been specified in the script.

Old Cybertronian, or the Primal Vernacular as some might call it, was last seen in general when Rodimus channeled the will of the trapped Titan all across Tailgate’s chest. It was last seen spoken when we met Vos, the terrible murder gremlin who turns into a gun and uses his face to cause puncture trauma.

Comic books are wild, y’all.

Now that we’ve established that no one’s being killed, Drift goes back to what he was doing earlier, with Swerve deciding to tag along because he’s horrifically lonely. He invites Drift to come room up with him, because I guess if you’re going to sell off your comatose roommate’s bed out from under him, you might as well go for the guy who’s third in command,  is probably one of the hottest guys on the ship, and slices people into chunky salsa if they try anything funny.

Drift politely declines, and awkwardly removes himself from the conversation when Swerve doesn’t take the hint, returning to his sword lesson with Rodimus.

Oh thank god, the obnoxiously pink room is back.

Ultra Magnus bursts into the room, appalled by the actions of his fellow crew members. Some of his concerns are well-placed. Others, well…

Is- is that another friggin’ retainer on those lower teeth? Why does this design choice keep showing up?

So Magnus has imprisoned roughly a third of the ship at this point, and Rodimus suggests he take a chill pill. Magnus doesn’t even know what a chill pill even is, so we’re forced to make use of our most dangerous weapon- the threat of a good time, courtesy of Swerve.

The fact that Ultra Magnus hasn’t reduced Swerve to an oil stain on the floor is genuinely astounding. The guy has zero respect for bureaucracy or proper business management. It has been MONTHS, you dinky little man, get your act together as a business owner.

Swerve takes the bribe, and soon everyone’s shipping off to Hedonia, where the drinks are plentiful and the women… well, most of the Lost Lighters don’t even know what a woman is, so that aspect doesn’t really come into play. Thanks, Furman.

Also, Rung’s back to normal. Don’t worry about it, not a big deal.

Swerve isn’t having much luck on his Roommate Quest, as Tailgate spurns his advances, stating that he’s good kicking it with Cyclonus, mainly because they’re both old as shit.

I see we haven’t quite hit the threshold on the “Cyclonus is allowed to have friends now” meter. Give it a few more issues, I’m sure we’ll get there.

Man, zero for two for Swerve on trying to get a hot roommate. Maybe third time’s a charm?

Rodimus pops into the back of the shuttle to remind everyone that their entire race is more or less despised by the entire galaxy, and to play it safe by using their holomatter avatars.

The revamp by Brainstorm and Rung is truly a blessing, because the avatars in IDW were awful to look at up to this point.

Y’all, that is HOT ROD. Jesus wept.

Getting back to Tailgate’s questionable taste in companionship, Tailgate asks if Swerve and Blurr connected right away. Swerve gives him an affirmative, then starts listing off the guy’s racing stats until Ultra Magnus plops down between the two of them, drawn in by the melodious sound of statistics.

Magnus is having a hard time relaxing, but he’s giving it his best, and I think that’s very commendable of him. It’s hard trying new things.

On the surface of Hedonia, it would appear the B-Movies are having a Pride event in the entertainment district.

Okay, moment of truth- show us those avatars!

Oh thank god, they aren’t totally hideous. Though, isn’t Rewind old as shit? I guess youth is a state of mind. Still, I can’t believe we missed out on silver fox Rewind.

Rung’s line is in response to folks at the time claiming that Rung was a self-insert character, which is interesting, because we’ve already seen what a self-insert looks like when it’s Roberts doing the inserting, and we’ve also seen his Mary Sues.

Rung, while an original character who had appeared in Roberts’ pre-professional works (a single line of text in Eugenesis, where he was a psychiatry play-on-words), he isn’t what I’d consider a Mary Sue. Mary Sues are usually stunningly beautiful, beloved by their peers, insanely talented in ways that no other character is, and typically have some sort of connection to another character that more or less forces them into the story despite not needing to exist.

Mary Sues don’t get their friggin’ heads exploded, or exist in a constantly-forgettable state. Sure, he’s the only therapist we’ve ever seen in the Transformers franchise, but there was kind of a massive need for that sort of character to be created, seeing as all of these sons of guns have PTSD and clinical depression. And, as we’ve seen in previous issues and will continue to see later on, he’s really not even that great at it.

That isn’t to say that he doesn’t have certain traits befitting such a characterization, merely that they don’t add up to equal that sort of whole by issue #13. Transformers (2009)-era Drift is way closer to a true Mary Sue than Rung is.

Anyway, where the hell did Tailgate get to?

They really just let Frodo Baggins in this bar all babybjörned up, huh? Does Tailgate even know what a baby even is at this point? Does he just think he’s a very small person? How much human media has he consumed? We haven’t gotten into the reproductive process for the continuity yet, but fresh Cybertronians aren’t exactly a one-to-one to human infants. Damn it, Roberts, what the fuck am I supposed to make of Babygate?

Whirl’s off in the corner, disguised as a 12-year old girl who’s fucking STRAPPED. Magnus has disappeared, but Rewind locates him pretty easily as Rung makes a comment about Magnus needing to make an appointment with him.

Oh hey, Verity. Been a minute. Careful, ol’ six-eyes over there is leering at you.

The fellas come back to the bar as they truly are, and sit down for a round of drinks. Whirl gets Ultra Magnus a drink that sounds disturbingly like a Cybertronian equivalent to Milk Coke, and we get a little anatomy lesson. Transformers have something called a Fuel Intake Moderation chip, something that keeps them from getting drunk on pretty much the only thing they can consume. Swerve suggests Magnus turn his off so he can have a good time- which I don’t personally agree with, but this is Captain Stick-in-the-Mud we’re talking about here. Magnus gives it a shot.

And that’s a series wrap on Ultra Magnus!

No, the man’s just got no tolerance and has been knocked the hell out by his drink. Things begin devolving. Tailgate is crying. Skids has found out that Whirl didn’t give Magnus Milk Coke at all, but instead the equivalent of liquid cocaine. Swerve is convinced he’s going to prison. Rewind is filming the whole thing.

Nobody actually checks to see if Magnus is actually dead, until Rung gets around to it. Swerve, you’re a doctor by original trade, what the hell are you doing?

The boys sit Magnus at the table to wait out his nap. Hours later, nothing’s changed, except that they’ve started up the nemesis game, and Whirl’s decided he’s going to be rude about monoformers being monoformers. Rung gives a non-answer, because that’s just who he is as a person. Skids names Misfire as his worst enemy, only because he’s still missing a good chunk of memory and can’t remember if he had a worst enemy, but still wants to contribute to the conversation.

Rung, don’t be a dick, he did his best. You were right on top of Fort Max, it was a tricky shot.

Ultra Magnus finally starts waking up, and that’s the point where everyone decides to foot Swerve with the bill for the emotional labor he’s going to have to perform by explaining just what the friggity-frack happened.

Magnus starts laughing, then crying, then offloads his troubles onto Swerve. Magnus feels like he just doesn’t fit in on the Lost Light. He’s just trying to do his job and everyone makes fun of him, or disrespects his authority. He’s trying, he really is, but he’s just not built for post-war life. He’s actually tried to leave his position on the Lost Light, but they just keep pulling him back in.

Probably doesn’t help that Rodimus seems more interested in Drift’s opinion on matters than his own SIC half the time.

Oh no, he’s making digs at the things Swerve’s sensitive about. Where is Rung?

Magnus just wants to be understood, y’know? He’s a fully realized creation. He’s got interests. Like music! And the fact that Swerve is missing his Autobot badge!

This was the point where MTMTE was still bouncing back and forth on whether it wanted to commit to the crotch badge. It was a tumultuous time for everyone, very dark days.

WHERE THE FUCK IS RUNG

Magnus, having had enough of sharing his feelings, takes another sip of his cocaine and slips back into unconsciousness. Swerve admits to his limp body that people don’t actually like him, but rather only stick around because of what he can offer- namely, a good time.

The rest of the Swerve posse comes back, with Cyclones having joined the party. Rung shows off his new model ship, which gets Rewind started on his movie collection. He pulls up the opening ceremony for the Ark 1. Y’know, the Ark 1, that ship that Cyclonus was on that disappeared into the Dead Universe for six million years. The Ark 1 that Tailgate was supposed to be on.

Before we can get started however, someone throws the model at Rewind’s head.

That someone is none other than Cyclonus, who proceeds to fly into a rage, throwing tables and shoving the still-unconscious Ultra Magnus to the floor. My word, what a reaction! What could possibly be setting him off so much? Does he not like being reminded of his fated trip to the stars? Is this a manifestation of trauma from that event?

Who knows? No time for questions, Skids is too busy punching him in the face.

Tailgate intervenes, explaining that because Cyclonus and himself are so goddamn old, the engex Cyclonus consumed is wreaking havoc on his body. He tells the rest of them to go on while he tries to calm Cyclonus down. Interesting that Rewind doesn’t have any sort of input on this, given that he is also super fucking old, but there’s no time for questions! We’ve got to get Ultra Magnus back on the shuttle in the next 20 minutes, or else they’ll be stuck on Hedonia FOREVER.

They start throwing Magnus on the floor repeatedly, trying to get his t-cog to spin up. No dice, however.

It’s 4AM. Do you know where your Domey is? Because Rewind sure as hell doesn’t.

Okay, time for Plan B.

I’m guessing not, Rung. I’m guessing not.

Using Magnus as a trampoline does the trick, and the boys are rewarded with the sight of Magnus’ alt-mode… resting on its roof, upside down. They get him sorted, pile in the cab- Rewind is driving, which leads me to believe he at least has some experience handling a vehicle. Chromedome does turn into a car…

I don’t even know what that sort of activity implies for a Transformer. We won’t go any further down this line of thought.

The boys manage to get Ultra Magnus to the shuttle in time, and all’s well that ends well!

This is about the time that Blaster knocks on the glass at Swerve to wrap things up, seeing as he’s been at this for over nine hours now. There’s one last little aside before we’re done with our story, however, and it involves just what happened in the bar after everyone else left.

Cyclonus calmed down almost immediately after the rest of the guys left, paying for what he broke and inviting Tailgate to have a seat.

Well, I say invite, but it’s really more of an order.

If you’d already figured out at this point that this jumpy little marshmallow was lying about being the biggest badass who ever lived, a gold star for you! It turns out, dear Tailgate has been crafting a fabrication, spinning a yarn, telling a tall tale since Day One on the Lost Light. The story has been feeding us a steady diet of fish the whole time!

Red herring!

Red herring!

Red herring of Tailgate’s own design! Autopedia’s mods are a friggin’ joke.

Tailgate was supposed to be a the Ark 1 launch, but it was because he was on the cleanup crew. Boy’s a sluicer, and his arm SHOULD say "waste disposal”. Through a cunning use of his wits and cold reading, Tailgate faked his way through the dismantling of the bomb on Temptoria. A smart boy, he is, if not a bit self-centered.

Which brings us to why exactly Cyclonus freaked out in the bar: he wasn’t having an episode, but rather faking a reaction to prevent Tailgate’s lie from being exposed. He still thinks that Tailgate should come clean about this whole thing, before things get really messy, but it wouldn’t be an issue of MTMTE without some raw-ass emotions getting thrown about.

Cyclonus, who hasn’t allowed himself to feel anything other than simmering rage or national pride for over six million years, is beginning to feel something for Tailgate.

That feeling is sympathy, and maybe a little pity.

He offers to teach Tailgate a song to help him feel better, because that’s what he does when he has feelings.

And given that Cyclonus seems to sing often enough that Tailgate’s gotten used to the horrific sound, it might be that Cyclonus has feelings a hell of a lot more often than he lets on.

Roberts, how many times are you going to make Tailgate cry? How much pain are you going to subject him to before you’re satisfied?

The scene closes out on the two of them getting their karaoke on in the empty bar, in the god-awful language that is Old Cybertronian. I can only imagine that they get kicked out of the bar pretty quickly after this.

Getting back to the present, Swerve has finally, finally finished his story, closing out with an invitation for Blurr to come visit Swerve’s.

Blaster gets ready to shoot one hell of a voice message at Blurr, but there’s a problem; the number Swerve has isn’t long enough to be a personal hailing frequency.

Yeah, turns out that Tailgate isn’t the only liar on board the Lost Light.

Four million years ago, Swerve met Blurr at a publicity event, got way too friendly with a celebrity, pestered the guy until he gave him a fake number, and has convinced himself that he made a life-long friend to this very day.

Big oof.

Later, back at Swerve’s, Swerve is busy cleaning the glassware when Ultra Magnus comes in, sober and having just gotten out of surgery to fix his fuel tanks. Guess that second sip of Nucleon really wasn’t a good idea.

Swerve tries to tell a lie about what happened the night before, only to have the dawning horror that Magnus remembered the entire night, as he’s presented with a new badge. Swerve, bolstered by the fact that, while Magnus didn’t enjoy the previous evening, he appreciated having company, begins to ask Magnus if he’d want to room with him.

Wow, zero for three! That’s rough, buddy.

Kind of a bummer end to this whole issue, but it was still decently light, tone-wise, for MTMTE. A great deal of fun was had, in between all the mortifying reveals of our characters inner demons.

...Well, shit.

[rsadelle]

The best books I read in 2020

I read 167 books in 2020, which is a little more than one and a half times as many as I read in 2019. (I had a crisis of counting at one point when I read a string of novellas, but ultimately came down on the side of if I can check out the ebook from the library as a single volume, then it counts as a book for the purposes of my list.) Only ten of those are books I reread, which is a fairly low reread number/percentage for me. The large number of books I read this year made it extra difficult to narrow down a small number of the best ones, which is why this list is longer than in previous years. It is, in fact, long enough that I have put it behind a cut to spare your dash.

Top 11 fiction books/series I read for the first time in 2020

Bread Alone trilogy (Bread Alone, The Baker's Apprentice, and Baker's Blues) by Judith Ryan Hendricks - I so enjoyed this trilogy about bread baking and figuring out your life and building a home/community and love. I read it at the beginning of the pandemic, when everyone was baking bread, and it was one of those things I was sad to finish because I didn't want to leave the characters.

Never Have I Ever by Joshilyn Jackson - I have read a lot of suburban housewife with a secret books over the last couple of years. This was an excellent example of the genre with the good use of a thematic motif and a second secret reveal after you learn what you think is the biggest secret. Content notes: I had to skim a few chapters because of the large amount of weight and disordered eating content (which is relevant to the character), and there is sexual abuse of a young teenager by an adult as part of the story.

The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin - This was such an interesting concept and done so well. It was one of the most popular books my sci fi book club read this year, and the New Yorker in our group said it was her favorite New York book ever. The most disappointing part of this book is that it's the first book in a trilogy and the other books haven't been published yet. Content notes: eldritch horror and realistic racism.

The Sci-Regency Series (My Fair Captain, The Englor Affair, My Regelence Rake, Diplomatic Relations, and My Highland Laird) by J.L. Langley - The delightfully ludicrous premise of this series is that there is a gay Regency society in space, which makes for some really fun romances. I've loved this series for over a decade, and I was thrilled to reread the first three books before reading the two new books that came out this summer. I recommend reading the novels in order, as there is an overarching plot involving the Intergalactic Navy that is interesting and ongoing without overshadowing the romances. Content note: these are on the erotica end of the romance spectrum, which means they have very explicit sex scenes. I wrote a lot more about this series in a Yuletide promo post comment.

The Most Fun We Ever Had by Claire Lombardo - I was so sad to finish this book! I have read a lot of commercial/literary fiction about families in the past few years, and this might be my favorite. I found the characters really compelling and enjoyed seeing their differing perspectives. I didn't want to leave this family.

Throne of Glass series (Throne of Glass, Crown of Midnight, Heir of Fire, Queen of Shadows, Empire of Storms, Tower of Dawn, and Kingdom of Ash) by Sarah J. Maas - This YA fantasy series shouldn't work given its constant escalation, and yet, somehow it does. I greatly enjoyed it, and I cried more than once at the last book. This is a series where I recommend not reading anything about future books until you've read all the books before them so you can enjoy the continual reveals. These are very much genre novels, and if you don't like the genre, these books will not be for you. Content note: there is a lot of genre-typical violence.

The Great Believers by Rebecca Makkai - I admit that I was mildly skeptical about this book given that what I knew about it was that it was a story about the AIDS epidemic where one of the two timelines is about a woman trying to reconnect with her daughter, but I ended up loving it. The two alternating timelines fit together beautifully, and I thought it did a good job of not eliding the horror of the AIDS epidemic experienced by the gay community in favor of the straight woman's experience. I do remain skeptical of how many awards it won; while it was a genuinely excellent book, I also know that awards bodies love dead queer people.

We Set the Dark on Fire and We Unleash the Merciless Storm by Tehlor Kay Mejia - I loved this YA dystopianish (more cultural class divide than apocalypse or singular villain in control) duology about queer women falling in love while working toward revolution. The world building was good, the plot was good, and the romance was good.

Sisters of the Vast Black by Lina Rather - This novella about an order of nuns who travel through space in an organic slug-like spaceship was absolutely wonderful. It deals with issues of faith, purpose, central control, and doing what you can to make the world a better place.

Sorcery of Thorns by Margaret Rogerson - I loved this YA novel in a sort of Regency-ish setting about a girl who grew up in a library full of magic books and her dealings with some sorcerers, complete with a romance. Content note: attempted mental coercion and institutionalization.

The Wren Hunt and The Wickerlight by Mary Watson - This is a YA duology about rival druid groups in modern day Ireland. I found both books totally compelling with interesting druid politics and magic. It was also really interesting how well we get to see the worst of both sides of the rival druid groups in the two different books.

Top 5 books/series I read and then thought about a lot in 2020

The Twisted Ones by T. Kingfisher - A friend recommended the author to me. This particularly book is a supernatural horror novel I don't necessarily recommend. However, I have continued to think about elements of it since I read it. (Before you @ me about the author's other work, this was the third of her books I read and the other two were in the more beloved fantasy novel genre.)

The Calculating Stars by Mary Robinette Kowal - I actually didn't like this book that much. We read it for a book club, and it had an interesting concept that wasn't super well executed. However, I have thought about elements of it a lot since then, particularly in comparison to some of the other sci fi I encountered this year.

Gideon the Ninth and Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir - I don't know how much "I actively thought about these a lot" describes my actual experience of having read these, but given their popularity and the number of conversations I had about them, I can't omit them from this post entirely. I liked the first one once I figured out what kind of story it actually was, had absolutely no idea what was happening at any point in the second one, and discovered with both of them that I have a much more limited vocabulary than I thought, at least when it comes to death-related words. I am invested enough that I will read the third book when it comes out, but probably won't read any more of the author's work beyond that. If you want to know more about what I thought, I wrote a very spoilery post about them.

The Sixth World (Trail of Lightning and Storm of Locusts) by Rebecca Roanhorse - This is a pair of novels set in a post-apocalyptic world where there's a magically/divinely-erected wall around Dinétah (the Navajo lands). The worldbuilding and characters are so interesting, and it's a series where some of the details stuck with me and I would randomly think of them. I'm looking forward to reading one of her other books in a few months for my sci fi book club.

Wild Mercy: Living the Fierce and Tender Wisdom of the Women Mystics by Mirabai Starr - This was one of two books about women mystics I read and disliked this year, and the more disappointing of the two as I'd heard an interview with the author that I found interesting. I continued to think about this one a lot in an angry, "and another thing!" way, which did help me articulate more of the things I dislike about new age-ish framing of "feminine" wisdom/divinity/knowledge.

Top 3 non-fiction books I read in 2020

The Vagina Bible: The vulva and the vagina - separating the myth from the medicine by Dr. Jen Gunter - This is probably better as a reference work than as a straight read-through, but it was interesting enough to read straight through. The book is deeply rooted in science and facts, and she has a whole chapter on "Vaginas and Vulvas in Transition" specifically about anatomy for trans people.

Here All Along: Finding Meaning, Spirituality, and a Deeper Connection to Life - in Judaism (After Finally Choosing to Look There) by Sarah Hurwitz - This is a useful, contemporary introduction to Judaism from someone who shares a lot of my values. The first half is an introduction to Jewish thought, while the second half focuses more on spirituality and practice. The book is part general introduction and part spiritual memoir. I found it deeply inspirational and I added it to a wish list of books I want to own copies of (I read it as a library ebook) because I would like to both reread it in hardcopy where I can easily flip back and forth and use it as a resource for further study and reading.

You Can Draw in 30 Days by Mark Kistler - You may remember that I wrote more about this when I originally finished reading the book. I found it a gentle, funny, helpful book to teach you the basics of drawing.

The 2 authors I read the most in 2020

Jennifer Lynne Barnes - I read fifteen of her books in three weeks in January, when I was still working full time, and a sixteenth after it was published later in the year. Her books are fast-read YA novels that are deeply engaging and generally have some sort of mystery element to them which may or may not involve family secrets. She has a tendency to write variations of the same characters, which meant that I enjoyed mentally mapping the characters from various books onto characters from other books. Also, her werewolf trilogy does one of my favorite werewolf story things that you almost never see (but it doesn't happen until the end of the first book, so I won't spoil it by telling you what it is). Many of her books involve violence, so heed the summaries or email/message me if you want some content notes.

Laura Lippman - I read nineteen of her books this year, eighteen novels and a non-fiction essay collection. She's an excellent mystery writer with a distinctive voice. The time I read four of her books in four days, I found myself thinking in her style. Even if I hadn't otherwise enjoyed My Life As A Villainess, her essay collection, it would have been worth reading just for the kicker on "The Thirty-First Stocking." Content note: her novels frequently involve violence or its aftermath.

[marikaaajoy]

my relationship with digital art and how BNHA salvaged it

I just wanted to let out my thoughts but I can only do it here :>

This might be a downer for some people but I’d like to share it with people here. BNHA means the world to me and this is why.

I first started drawing when I was 7 years old in 2006

I think it’s ugly now, but 7 year old me remembered being so proud of this because this is a drawing of my stepfather. This is the only drawing I have that was from my childhood. I think the aim here is to draw in anime style BUT I didn’t even watch anime back then. I had a classmate who loves anime and she taught me to draw in school. Drawing became a favorite hobby immediately after that.

Then it was 2013 and I was 14 years old. Drawing is still my favorite thing to do besides being on the computer. I love anime at this point too. My parents bought an iPad for the whole family, but I was almost always the one using it. I discovered an app called ArtStudio and thought “Wow, I can draw without making a mess and with only my fingers” because I was always too lazy to take out my drawing materials and clean up afterwards.

These were my first digital drawings. The pirate one was the very first. I got obsessed real fast. I can color so easily, undo any mistake, layers are a blessing too. There was just so much more freedom. I always sucked at coloring in traditional art and I didn’t like the mess (idk my hands get so messy traditionally)

The next year, it was 2014, I was 15. My birthday is in a couple of months and I knew my parents were planning to buy me something pricey (I think it was a laptop) so I approached them and asked if they could just buy the Wacom Bamboo as a present which was cheaper anyway and I even explained how it works to them and how it would allow me to draw on the computer instead of the iPad. I tried really hard to be convincing. I would have prepared a powerpoint presentation if I had to.

They did give me the wacom as a present. They even gave it to me months before my birthday so I could use it already. I thought I was the luckiest teen in the world with my parents.

These are a collection of my favorite works from 2014 to 2016. The middle one was my second drawing using wacom and Paint Tool SAI. I was a part of a lot of fandoms in those years lol

It gets downhill from there :/

April 2016, my mom and I moved to Japan, while my stepfather and siblings stay in my country. It was tough. For someone who is obsessed with anime, you’d think I’d be thrilled to live in Japan.

I was. Though only at the first few months. It’s not the same as it’s portrayed in anime (I should’ve known but I used to be blinded by anime). It was just lonely. The language barrier sucked and then lots of financial and family issues until my parents split. I got my first boyfriend too and I thought I was blessed by the nicest boy, but the relationship became extremely toxic but I didn’t have it in me to walk away.

All the shit that happened affected me mentally and emotionally. My biggest outlet which was digital drawing, was also out of the question because I did not have a computer/laptop when we moved to Japan. We left it in our home for my stepfather and siblings, even the iPad. I have my wacom with me, but no computer/laptop to use it with. I couldn’t draw.

I tried though. I used my phone to draw, but it wasn’t the same. Then the life problems got piled up, things got worse, and I just lost motivation in anything. Literally anything. From 2016 to 2019, I stopped watching anime, I dropped out of all the fandoms I’m in, I stopped watching my favorite TV series or movies, and I stopped drawing. I even got a bit disconnected with my friends who lived in my country (we talk regularly online). My family was broken so I gave all my attention to my toxic relationship as well which made everything worse too lol

I didn’t draw besides from a few scribbles and the drawings above. I did try digital art on my phone a couple of times again and even posted them on my IG, but they weren’t any good. Eventually, I got mentally and emotionally drained and dropped out of senior high school. I just stayed home for almost a year, leeching off of my mom. I felt even more worthless and my life had no direction at this point. Nothing mattered anymore.

April 2019 or so I think, my (ex)bf bought me a laptop. He says it’s a gift, but I think the real reason was to make up for something horrible that he did (which is stupid because money /gifts won’t resolve anything). I have a laptop. I can draw again, but I didn’t. I didn’t care, I wasn’t interested in drawing anymore anyway.

Welp. June 2019, I went back to my country. My (ex) bf stayed in Japan. The distance helped me end the relationship and my friends were there (they always were) to help put me back together along with two trips to therapy. I went back to finish my senior high school in my own country this time. That said, I have to stay in my country for school (but I was happy because I didn’t wanna go back to Japan yet when the breakup was still fresh and with going back to school, my life has a direction again.)

It was weird. I remember just being sorta lost and confused because I used to put my time, effort and everything into my previous toxic relationship, which was now gone. I was free and I had so much free time that I didn’t know what to do with it. I got so used to doing nothing and being nothing.

This is where BNHA enters.

Dunno when it started, but I started seeing Bakugou frequently online. It’s usually just Bakugou. I knew who he was because my friend suggested BNHA to me back in late 2018 I think but I didn’t watch it since I’ve lost interest in everything at that point in my life.

But ye I thought he hot af but I still didn’t watch BNHA.

But then for some reason he REALLY kept appearing in my social medias and it was really frequent. The last straw was when I saw a pic of him in UA’s gym uniform and thought “damn boi aight imma watch bnha for u” (y’all gotta admit he looks good in those colors with his combat boots XD )

I watched BNHA. Fell in love with Iida along the way. Then I switched to Tokoyami (but Shoji was hot too so aaaaa), but then angry emotionally-constipated sea urchin head caught my heart again. But oof. BakuDeku moments really made me feel some type of way I haven’t felt since I moved to Japan. It felt new but nostalgic. I fell hard in that ship.

I started obsessing. From memes to posts to fanfictions to buying merch to filling my room with BNHA posters. I realized I was reverting to my old self from the time I was still happy and it was thanks to BNHA (and the good people who helped me through the worst too)

Shit I wanted to draw BNHA, I thought.

I mean, I have a laptop, I still have my wacom and drawing softwares. I could totally draw digitally again if I wanted to.

But guess what

I can’t :c

My hand physically cannot draw. My drawings don’t look the way I want them too. 3 years of not drawing really destroyed any skill I had. I was back to square one.

September (yeah they’re ugly, I laughed at it). If you’re wondering why I drew on paper, it’s because, for some reason, I really CANNOT draw digitally. I mean it. I can barely sketch digitally at this point. The lines and shapes just doesn’t come to life. They’re just scribbles. But somehow, I can kinda draw on paper with a ballpoint pen. But yeah, that was the best I could do at this point in my life

After that, I still tried to draw, to regain my old art style, but it didn’t happen... It just doesn’t look or feel the same. Drawing used to be fun. But during this phase, it felt like my ugly drawings were just mocking me (probably was just too emo that time lol)

Weirdly, around a week or two I think, after my half-assed attempts at drawing, I managed to draw digitally somehow o.o

I did a Midoriya and Todoroki drawing like this too. It was my first post here on Tumblr I think. The annoying part here is that I cannot draw digitally unless I draw on paper first, take a pic, and then trace the lineart. I couldn’t draw directly on the computer. Granted, drawing on paper and drawing on digital is very different for me in the first place anyway. But it was still a pain. And it still looked like shit. I can only draw stiff poses :/ it seems like my brain decided to delete all data about anatomy and posture and backgrounds. My lineart here is even messy af. It still really not the same as my old style.

By 2020, I think I got my old art style back. On March, I made this. This took me 27 total of hrs to make.

Right now, I think it’s not bad, but back in March, I was disappointed with the result. This is when I finally broke down crying because it didn’t look good enough and I hated that it took me 27 hrs to draw “bullshit.” I was angry at myself for losing interest in drawing for 3 years when I could’ve used that time to improve. I had to start all over again and it still didn’t look good. (Current me thinks that the drawing above is alright. I was just a lot harsher to myself back then. Used to have a lot of issues but I’m doing great now)

I cried myself to sleep that night. Woke up wanting to cry again. I wallowed in sadness for a couple of days. Eventually told my friends what’s up. Got some pep talk. Even talked to my sister (she’s great, she always hypes me up with my stuff and sometimes I think she’s my biggest fan with how she appreciates my drawings and I’m really grateful for that).

My world turned a 180 and I was weirdly positive after all that crying because brain chemicals and shit. I had a revelation. If I hate how my art style looked so much, then I should have been putting effort in changing my art style, not trying to regain my old art style (that I don’t like anymore)

I researched a lot. I analyzed different art styles and anatomy again. I did everything I could think of to find a style that works for me. I might have even neglected school for a bit to focus on digital art lmao

After all that work, I posted a fanart of middle school BakuDeku in their classroom. I love that fanart so much even if I probably have better ones by now because that was the first fanart I made that I felt like I could be proud of and it was the first one I made in my new art style. It was a milestone for me.

March 2020, I moved back to Japan and without the toxic relationship, I’m a lot positive now. Happy. I’m myself again after the previous bad years. I’m still continuously learning though, trying to improve, but at least, now, I found my own art style :) I really suck at interacting with people online, but I’m always grateful for the support everyone has been giving my fanarts. I’m happy when my content makes people happy.

This is why BNHA is important to me. The series is great alone, but it’s not just that to me. BNHA is so much more. It’s what made me find the passion to create again, only this time, it’s focused on drawing (I used to write, but now I just draw, but maybe I’ll write again for BNHA).

My family is supportive with my love for BNHA, but I think they don’t know the deeper reason why I love it. Sure, I was fine living on with nothing much going on in my life. I’ll finish school, get a job, work until I die or something. It was okay. It was the way of life. But BNHA gave my life color again. I wasn’t just blindly going through life anymore. I have something to look forward to everyday now. BNHA even became a bridge to other things. Ever since then, I’m a lot more open to people, to try new things, to explore and not just live through life and waste away. I got better at leaving my comfort zone. I’ve never been happier in my life :D

Thank you for supporting my fanarts. Thank you so much for giving me a chance to express myself through BNHA. I hope to make more content in the future and improve even more :)

[darklingduke]

Inspired by @/capri-suns-and-gushers and this post about how sys-meds shouldn’t get to write the narrative about endogenic/parogenic/tulpamancy/spiritual/etc systems on this platform. 

We wanted to use this as our official coming-out-as-a-system (on this blog at least) post, as well as answering some things. 

If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask! Don’t send us syscourse or hate, please. (Long post, so it’s cut)

1. What kind of system are you?

We use several different terms to describe our system type, depending on how we’re feeling that day, who’s fronting, or who we’re talking to. We use endogenic, MaDD/paragenic, araisagenic, soul-bonding, and gateway.

Most of us are in here due to maladaptive daydreaming and escapism from the “core”, as well as projecting onto characters or having comfort characters. 

There are a few subsystems in here, though. One of our Remuses is a traumagenic OSDD system, Zak is a traumagenic DID system, Cadence has unknown origins, and Cleo is a paragenic system. 

2. How many of you are there?

Currently around 80 or so, counting subsystem member. But our numbers are constantly fluctuating when someone decides to leave or come back or walk-in. The highest amount we have ever had was around 120. 

3. How long have you known about your plurality?

Our “core” learned the first time about aer plurality in... I wanna say... 2018? Ae came out to someone as a system and it didn’t go well, so ae decided to forget all about it and procrastinated everything. We’ve been out as a system since December of 2019 now, though. 

4. Had you heard of DID/OSDD/DDNOS before you became plural/discovered your plurality?

Kind of? Someone at work approached us back in 2018 (see answer to 3) and whispered “hey. guess what. i’ve got multiple personality disorder. i’m not kyle.” then walked away. Star (”core”) went home that night and researched it and that’s how ae realized ae were plural. 

5. Do you have a wonderland/innerworld? If so, what do you call it, and what are some things that you and your system members do there?

We do, but it’s very difficult to see, due to the body’s aphantasia. Very few people are actually able to see it. It’s more along the lines of us “asking” the brain what it looks like and guessing things until the brain is like “yeah that’s right.” 

We call it our innerworld, or our headspace. 

A lot of people like hanging out in the living room (our “control room”, playing video games on one of the tv’s in here, or hanging out in the pond outside.

6. What do you call your system members?

Headmates. We’re not against the term “alters” but we don’t tend to use it too much. 

7. If you’re plural and don’t use the word “system” to describe you&, what word do you use?

We use the word “system” but we’ve been considering using different terms, just aren’t sure what terms there are to use lol.

8. What are some of the best things about being plural?

Probably getting to hang out with comfort characters. We are all aware that they aren’t their source, but they have many personality traits in common with their source, so it’s a source of comfort to get to hang out with and be friends with them. 

9. What are some not-so-great things about being plural?

The occasional blurriness we get when we realize we don’t know who we are/who’s fronting, and we have to try to figure out who we are. 

10. Do you have a spiritual or psychological view of your plurality?

We think it’s more of a spiritual view, because a lot of us, if not all of us, view it more as that person’s spirit coming to our headspace from a different dimension and hanging out here. 

11. Do you ever experience “switching” or “possession” or any sort of change in who controls the body? If so, what do you call it, how easy/difficult is it, and what is it like? Were you always able to do this, or did you have to learn how over time?

We do experience switching, but it feels different sometimes than others. Sometimes it feels as though whoever is fronting is more along the lines of Star (”core”) being in front and someone else backseat driving, or vice versa. 

We call it switching. It’s usually pretty easy. Sometimes we do it without even trying to or noticing. We’ll be sitting here playing a game or watching Tv and then all of a sudden realize we aren’t who was fronting before. Sometimes we have to focus on “handing over controls” in innerspace and there’s meatspace blurriness while that’s going on before it snaps into full control and the blurriness/dissociation goes away. it doesn’t normally take very long. A minute at most. 

We have been able to do it since actively being plural in 2019 (see answer 3)

12. How do you and your system mates relate to each other? (Are you friends, family, romantically involved, caretakers, etc)

All of the above. There are some people who were born in the system, and their family is in here. There are some people who are dating, who were related before coming here, who adopted each other in here as family, etc. It’s more of a whole world in here than anything. People have different relationships with each other. 

13. Have you come out to anybody in real life/in a singlet space about your plurality? How did it go?

We came out to our partner system’s dad (well they came out to him for us, but we gave them permission to do so), and he completely ignored the situation. And then we came out to the body’s mom, and she ignored us and told us she didn’t think we were safe with our partner system since they came out publically as a system. 

14. What kinds of forms and appearances do your system members take on?

We have some people in here who are human, we have some cat-people, demons, vampires, sirens, ghosts, and other monsters/creatures. We don’t all look like how people look like in this world, though. We don’t look how most people would say is “life like”. It’s more along the lines of video game animation or a more realistic version of pixar animation. 

15. What are you and your system members interested in?

Current interests are: Minecraft, Sanders Sides, Grey’s Anatomy, drawing, writing. Some people are interested in Don’t Starve Together. Some are interested in knitting and painting. Depends on the person. 

16. What is your life like in the meatworld?

Assuming meatworld is like... “real” world. Currently with quarantine, there’s not much to tell. We switch out every few hours if the body’s anxiety or depression gets too bad for us, we vibe with our partner system, and we pretend to be the core around the partner system’s dad (whom we live with).

17. What are your music tastes? Movies? Favorite Colors? Animals? List any other favorites as well. 

Ummm.... lol.... it really depends on the person. We have a playlist on spotify for each person. We don’t have much variety in favorite movies/shows, though. Most of us like animated movies or comedy or romcoms, or stereotypically straight movies (think Hallmark romance movie, or general romcoms, or raunchy comedy).

18. Does your system have a host/original? If so, what do you call them? Explain what role they play in your system. 

We have Star. Ae are the “original” person in here. We call aem the “core” when need be, but we usually just call aem Star lol. Ae are just another person in here, ae don’t really play too much of a “role”. Ae just decides what name the body goes by on default and ae have the final say on haircuts and tattoos/piercings and stuff. 

19. Do any system members have notable relationships outside of the system?

Yes! We have a partner system, @systemofthelostsouls . 

Star is dating Omen, Dee, Animosity, Logan, Regulus, and Story.  Virgil is dating Dee, Regulus, and Ceto. Remus is dating Omen, Dee, Logan, Emile and Story.  Roman is dating Emile and Logan.  Bee is dating Logan, Omen, Nyx, and Dee.  Charlie is dating Omen and Dee.  Denki is dating Jirou. Shinsou is dating Jirou. Kyle is dating Kay and has sort of a thing with Kenny and Stan.

And I’m decently sure there are more, but I can’t remember. I’m pretty new here, myself.

20. If you haven’t been plural for your entire life/haven’t known about your plurality until later in life: what was life like before plurality compared to life now. 

According to Star, life before plurality was a lot more... stable. Now if we want to finish a writing project, Star either has to backseat write, let someone else write for aem, or it takes weeks. We’ve been working on one chapter of a fanfiction for a week now. Before, Star was able to finish a chapter in a day or two. 

21. If you chose to become plural: why? What has changed since then?

We’re not actually sure if Star chose to become plural or not. Sometimes it feels like ae did (which fucks up with our imposter syndrome lmfao), sometimes it feels like Star chose to be plural and invited people here out of loneliness and wanting to fit in with our friend group at the time, but usually it just feels like people chose to come here, rather than the other way around. 

22. Is there anything you’d like to say to the plural community at large?

Don’t gatekeep, please. Let endogenic systems use the words “system” and “switching” if it’s what works for them. They aren’t hurting anyone. 

And please don’t fakeclaim. You don’t know what’s going on in someone’s head. You aren’t in there. 

23. Is there anything you’d like to say to any singlets reading this post?

Thank you for reading such a long thing. If any of this confuses you, or you’d like to learn more, our inbox is always open. But be warned, if you send us hate or something, we’re more likely to just delete your ask than answer it. 

Thank you all for reading! -Cyra

[svtegg]

ready, set, go (SVT apocalypse!au)

♡ wordcount: 2,5k ♡ chapter 15/?

(ch.1, ch.2, ch.3, ch.4, ch.5, ch.6, ch.7, ch.8 ch.9 ch.10 ch.11 ch.12 ch.13 ch.14)

♡ this won’t make any sense if you haven’t read the last part so make sure to catch up on those before reading! they’re all linked above!

♡ rating: PG-13 death/violence, language, gore themes, mentions of murder, mentions of pregnancy

♡ pairing: svt (soonyoung) x reader

Seungcheol, Joshua and Soonyoung had been inside Seokmins room for a few hours. I had managed to get a hold of Joshua as he came out for some fresh air and he told me theyre drawing up a map of where in Gimpo airport the group is located. Seokmin was stressed and they didn’t want him shutting down so they had only let Minghao in to fix the radio connection and make sure we knew how to contact the Gimpo group from a different radio if we needed to. Joshua had looked anxious, his voice low and very concerned. “We are gonna have to take a huge risk with this, the raiders are notorious and if they get us, we are dead.” he had said, his eyes trained on the closed gates protecting the camp. A moment later he had disappeared back into the room and I had been left on the porch alone again, and the overwhelming sound of silence took over again.

The birds had started to gather in big flocks in the treetops and the choir of chirping was especially loud today. It was only when Chan exited the detached kitchen building with Sun by his side that the birds seemed to let up on their song. The younger boy seemed exited, despite the circumstances. He was almost galloping over to where I was stood, leaning on the railing of the porch. “Y/n! I have good news!” he called, the dog beside him just as exited as him. He took a few shallow breaths as he stopped in front of me, Sun going over to an overgrown brush to pee on it.

“Or at least I think this is good news.” Chan panted out before he looked up at me, his face cracked into a wide smile. “What?” I inquired, and I couldn’t help myself as I let myself mirror his contagious smile. “I think Sun is pregnant!” Chan laughed, looking like a child on Christmas day. I could feel my face flashing with surprise, happiness and a tiny bit of apprehensiveness. This wasn’t the best timing, but at the same time having a bunch of mini Sun’s running around wasn’t the worst thing that could happen. “What? Really! Are you sure?” I ask Chan as he lets out an exited giggle accompanied by a nod. “She’s maybe a month along, which means there’s about a month left. I think.” The younger man smiled before he continued, his eyes fastened on the dog happily sniffing a patch of dry grass. “I read a book that was meant for veterinary students once. It was about the anatomy of the most common house pets. I actually learned that hamsters have complex emotional lives and that they can have days where they’re extra grumpy.” I let out an amused breath as I followed Chan’s gaze onto the dog who was now looking back at me with her tongue sideways out her mouth, oblivious to the circumstances.

“We should try to look for more food to give her, she’s gonna be needing a lot more as time goes to keep her puppies fed as well.” He continued, crossing his arms over his chest. I didn’t answer as I lifted my head to see who the figure moving closer was. Sun jumped over to the man, and as I squinted against the sun I could recognize the raspy and slightly congested voice belonging to Kim Mingyu. “Hiii Sunnie!” The tall man chirped and squatted down to give her some pets. The dog was unusually fond of Mingyu and always stuck around him when he was in close proximity to her, which I found endearing, seeing as Mingyu’s entire personality kind of reminded me of a puppy as well. “Hey guys!” He called over to Chan and I, as he glanced our way. I gave him an affirming nod and tried to stifle the smile I felt coming as I took in the scene in front of me. The tall, handsome and smart man with the raspy and deep voice sat there on the middle of the huge gravel lot talking to a dog with a high-pitched baby voice. I heard Chan snort from his position, and I looked over at him and gave him a knowing smile. As the older male finished doting on the dog he moved over towards Chan and I. “How’s the big boys club coming along?” He asked, slightly jerking his head in the direction of Seokmin’s room. Chan shrugged his shoulders as he looked over at me. I shook my head as I looked between the two males. “I haven’t heard anything, but I’m afraid we might have to do something pretty soon. Like today soon.” I sighed as I stretched my left arm out to Mingyu for him to help me up from my sitting position. The wooden floorboards of the porch under me creaked as I stood up beside the men. “I don’t think you two are in danger though, I think Seungcheol would rather sacrifice me or Jihoon over loosing his resident surgeons.” I tried, only half joking which both the boys in front of me caught onto. Chan let out a slightly forced laugh as he scratched his neck while Mingyu cleared his throat slightly. “But on a brighter side, we might be getting some new company soon!” I smiled, giving a meaningful look to Chan as I turned to leave. “Wait, what?” Mingyu quickly continued, looking between me and the younger male. I was already climbing the first set of stairs up to my room as I heard Chan start to explain that Sun was most likely pregnant.

The door to my room creaked open, a wall of hot stuffy air meeting me as I stepped inside the familiar space again. I knew we most likely would go out to help Seokmin’s group before it got dark and I wanted to go. I wanted to make sure we got that kid back safe. So as soon as the lock on the door clicked shut, I grabbed my backpack that had been sitting on the same spot against the wall for a month and opened the second last drawer on the old worn out dresser I had my belongings stashed in. The old but sturdy thigh strap I had worn every day before I came here was laying on top of all the things placed in the drawer. I took it out, along with a neck knife that Wonwoo had handed me one day with a quick “don’t tell anyone” as he passed me in the hallway leading from the dining hall to the entrance room. I never knew why he did that, but I had took it as a sign of trust and hidden it in this drawer in case I would ever need it. Which seemed to be the case now. I quickly gathered up some extra clothes and a pair of gloves before I grabbed my water bottle of the nightstand and shoved it into the bag.

I had thrown the bag into the room we usually used to plan in before trips, before making my way over to the A framed building to find Jihoon. I found him sitting in the ugly green couch situated in the entrance room of the kitchen building, reading through a book I didn’t recognize. I slumped down in the couch opposite to him, and he only looked up for a second before lowering his eyes to the pages again. “You’re gonna go too?” He asked, his voice only a mumble as I shifted my attention onto the floor to ceiling window. There were only yellowing trees outside, but my eyes quickly fastened onto the different colored leaves outside the glass. “Mmm. They’re gonna have to bring me. I want that child safe and no fucking way I’m gonna let a gang of grown men go alone to save a pregnant woman and a child.” I mused, subconsciously running my finger along the taped parts of the material now clasped around my right thigh. Jihoon let out an amused sound, something that sounded like a mix of a breath and a snort. Silence once again filled the room and I had no idea how long the two of us had been sitting there when a whistle ripped through the still air.

Seungcheol, Soonyoung and Wonwoo had gathered on the porch outside Seokmin’s room, and as both Jihoon and I emerged from the separate building we could see Joshua disappearing between the huge spruces that shielded the cars from the changing weather. “We’re going in 15 minutes.” Seungcheol said, his eyes fastened on the watch around his wrist. He looked stern like he always does, but his hair was ruffled and messy, like he had been running his hands through it. “Wonwoo, you take Jihoon and Y/n to get some supplies from the storage, one firearm and one combat weapon each. Soonyoung and I will be helping Joshua ready the cars. We’re going in two groups. Group one is Soonyoung, Jihoon and Minghao and group two is me, Joshua and you.” He continued as he made eyecontact with everyone on turn. Chan and Mingyu where stood on the same place they had been when I left them, Sun stuck to Mingyu’s leg. I could barely make out Junhui’s face popping out of the doorframe to the room Seokmin was probably trying his best to rest in. There was a moment of silent agreement before everyone went to their respective places to finish getting ready.

Wonwoo wordlessly unlocked the tiny shed behind the garage where I had been once before and motioned for Jihoon and I to go inside. “Pick something you have used before, we won’t have time for any demonstrations.” He spoke darkly as he held the door open for the two of us. I took a quick look around the room before picking a Smith & Wesson semiautomatic pistol of the desk. It was a 9 mm and so I quickly gathered the right ammunition and snatched the first boot knife I saw before making my way back over to the clearing in front of the buildings. I had fastened the weapon to the waistband of my jeans and was holding the sheathed knife in my hand I made my way over to get my backpack. I opened the strat room, the table covered with maps and different notepads of addresses sitting untouched as I ventured inside to find my belongings. The room smelled like most of the other rooms, dust and warm boxed in air. The lock clicked softly behind me and I spun around in surprise, wondering who would come in here when we where all supposed to get ready, only to be met by Soonyoungs grinning face. “Hi.” he murmured as he looked me up and down. I sighed, letting out a shaky breath as I felt the tiny bit of adrenaline surge through my body from the unexpected surprise. The male opposite of me just laughed, his mouth closed in a cocky smirk and his eyes upturned into cresent shapes.

“What?” I playfully snapped as I felt my shoulders relax a little. He moved closer, his left arm coming out to touch my hip lightly as he cocked his head back to look at me again. “Nothing.” He breathed, slowly spinning me around so my back was against him. “You just look a little uptight.” He said, his breath fanning over my right ear as he leaned against me. His hands came up to lightly massage my shoulders and I let myself lean into him slightly. Silence filled the room as I closed my eyes to enjoy the feeling of my taught muscles being worked on. “Be careful on this mission, okay?” Soonyoung whispered as he started working his hands down my back. “This is gonna be dangerous, more dangerous than anything we’ve ever done before.” He continued, his face coming dangerously close to my neck as he moved his thumbs against my lower back. “We can’t afford to lose the only one who smells good around here. That’s gonna stink.” the male joked, leaning his chin onto my shoulder as I let out a sound that sounded dangerously close to a moan. I took a deep breath as Soonyoung’s hands fell from my back and two seconds later took a soft hold on my hips to turn me back around to face him. “You be careful too, because you’re gonna do that again once we’re back.” I teased, stepping closer to the smiling male to wrap my hands around his midsection. I leaned into his chest, giving him a hug that should have been a few seconds shorter because just as we separated the door flew open and a quizzical Minghao stared between me and the man beside me. “We’re going.” The younger one stated before disappearing just as fast as he appeared.

I had grabbed my backpack quickly and as Soonyoung and I made it onto the parking lot we separated with a meaningful glance and seconds later the two cars where rolling silently down towards the city.

a/n: i totally forgot i HADNT uploaded this....im so sorry!!!! i had promised to upload it during christmas but so much happened i just didnt end up having time for it!!!! i feel so guilty, sorry :(( ill try to keep my promises from now on! thank you all for waiting and being so patient! also thank you all for 500 followers! i hit that sometime before christmas and i never said thank you so here i am, a month late giving my thanks through this way too late update! ily thank you for supporting and reading my work uwu

[thelokeancouncil]

A to Z 30 day Challenge “Hunkle Grunkle edition”

Day #1 – Age

Part 1 of 2

Ford & Winifred

 The early morning hours are no stranger to them because of the harm that comes from the unhealthy circadian rhythm. A rhythm that was forever rendered an anomaly in its self-due to the disease that most people currently knew as insomnia. Of course, neither party dared to acknowledge it, especially without some sort of wake-up juice.

It was an early winter morning aboard the Stan – O – War, a vessel that came from a childhood dream originally. The best part of this whole situation was that after forty odd years of pining after one another they were finally together. From the perspective of an outsider, someone could have guessed that these two had been married for those forty years, that was just how well they knew each other. They were in sync in a way that Stan would joke would be “Weird nerdy BS”.  

Winifred had been the first one out on the deck of the vessel this morning. She had been lying awake in her bunk since about 4:30 am but had not dared to get up because she feared of waking Ford up. Her reasoning for this was because Ford already didn’t get sleep as it was so she knew she would feel guilty for keeping her boyfriend awake over something dumb as a dream. When she tried to just ignore it and go back to sleep by cuddling up close to Ford again, it just wouldn’t leave her alone.

The dream made her begin to think about how much time her and Ford had lost over the thirty years apart, the dream was a replay of the fateful night when she had been dumb enough to try and save McGucket without something to anchor her into their dimension. It made her realize how much the two had grown and changed over the thirty years. The pit of regret being in stomach now because she was too old to bear her beloved any children, a problem that Stan and Raina might not face due to Raina’s strange alien anatomy.

“Fuck I wish I had told him sooner. Maybe our lives would be different.”

She mumbles to herself as she watches the calm ocean waves and other boats that went in and out of the Scottish port that they were currently in. She sat on the edge of deck, her legs dangling over the side and her arms slumped along the railing of the ship. These thoughts were also accompanied by something that happened the other night when she had gone with Raina and the boys to one of pubs. She saw a younger girl that kept trying to flirt with Ford when he went to bar to get them all a drink and it made her heart sink.

“Wouldn’t he be much happier with a younger beauty and not a grumpy old broad like me?”

She mumbled out again under her breath. It made her wonder what she could truly even offer Stanford at this age, she was beyond her prime and too old for much of anything really. She didn’t dare bring these feelings up with anyone because she didn’t want anyone to worry about her, especially not Ford. Ford had enough to worry about daily.

“Alright darling what’s eating you hm?” The familiar deep voice asked drawing her quickly out of her thoughts. Winifred blinked and then looked up to see Stanford standing next to her and holding out a cup of coffee to her.

Winifred took the mug thankfully in her glove covered hands. She decided to try and play dumb with him in the hopes that he would just forget about it. “What? I don’t know what you’re talking about Stanford” she answered and then turned her gaze back out to the passing ships in the bay.

She had no such luck because Ford didn’t give up that easily. Though it was something that normally she loved about him, this was not one of those times. “Winifred don’t play dumb with me. I can tell something is wrong. First you aren’t acting like your normal self, you haven’t been since we went to the pub the other night. Second, you only call me Stanford when you’re angry or upset with me. Please darling, tell me what’s wrong” Ford begged and then he gently sat down on the deck of the vessel with her.

Winifred shivered a little as she felt her boyfriend’s comforting embrace wrap itself around her waist. Winifred sighed and then she finally found herself looking over at him. “I-It’s just well…while we were at the pub, I noticed this younger girl talking and basically flirting with you. It made me think that maybe I’m not good enough for you Ford. I can’t give you a kid like Raina can give Stan because I’m too old. I guess it just made wonder if maybe you’d be better off or happier with a girl that’s younger than me beca-“ Winifred was explaining, but was then cut off by Ford gently placing one of his larger fingers on her lips.

He was blushing a little, but he leaned forward and scooped her up into his lap so that now he was holding her. “Are you kidding me? I honestly didn’t realize she was flirting with me, I guess that explains why she was so willing to give me directions to our stake out spot…” Ford started causing Winifred to give him a flat look that looked unamused. “Anyway, what I was trying to say my darling is that even if she was flirting with me, I would have never taken her offer. She might have been younger, but she isn’t wiser or smarter. I love your beautiful mind and those beautiful eyes that look up at me with so much love. Winifred, I don’t care how old you are or even the fact that we may not be able to conceive biological children. I love you for who you are, I always have, and I always will” Ford says softly, one of his larger hands gently coming up to cup her chubby cheek and force her to look up at him.

Winifred sat and listened to him, her heart beginning to stutter a little and her eyes growing misty with unshed tears. “Y-you mean that my love?” She asks him shyly, her voice cracking a little to match her tears that were slipping out.

Ford gently leaned in and planted a meaningful kiss to her forehead and then held her close to him. “Of course, I mean that my darling. You mean the multiverse to me no matter how old you get. You’re my best girl and one of the only ones who can understand me…you’re the first girl who ever loved me back, fingers and all” He says softly and then he sets his mug down and emphasizes the “fingers and all” with the famous Pines family finger wiggle.

Winifred couldn’t help but giggle a little when he wiggled his fingers and then she leaned up and kissed his cheek. “I love you to Ford, you mean the multiverse to me as well you know. Also, if I’m you’re best girl then you’re my best boy, always. You’re the first guy that has truly loved me for all that I am. At least you didn’t want to use me to pass your classes like a jerk” Winifred replies and mentions her first and only ex-boyfriend, Vic.

Ford instinctively pulled her closer to him as she mentioned the jerk that had humiliated her at homecoming in sophomore year. He promised himself that he wouldn’t allow any other man to cause harm to her like that ever again. “He didn’t deserve you. Besides you stole someone’s heart almost instantly from the moment he laid eyes on you” Ford replied and rested his chin on her shoulder.

Winifred smirked and rested her head gently against his. “Oh? I wonder who that is” She joked earning a deep rumbling chuckle from Ford.

Ford gently ran his free hand through her long silver hair, he relished how soft and yet strangely frizzy it felt in his fingers. “Oh, I think you know who he is. He loves you right now and he always will” He says softly, his tone meaningful to let Winifred know he meant it. He hoped that it would comfort her a little and ease her worries.

Winifred smiled warmly up at him now, her tears slowly disappearing with the brisk morning air around them. She gently set her coffee mug right next to his and then she wrapped her arms around his torso in a hug. “You promise?” she asks shyly.

Ford smiles down at her and continues to run his six digits through her flowy silver hair. “I promise my darling” He answers her and then he presses another gentle kiss to her forehead and just holds her close.

Ford found himself now looking out at the other ships that were going in and out of this port while he held her close. Winifred closed her eyes as she allowed the comforting warmth and smell that was her six fingered scientist to begin to lull her off to a relaxing morning stupor, after all, it would be another two hours before Stan and Raina woke up and another three before they had to catch the bus to their stake out sight.

When Ford heard her light snores, he chuckled again and rested his chin atop of her head. “Rest well my dear, I love you” He says softly and then he gazed back at the ocean, his thoughts drifting to the adventures that the two of them had been able to have in their past. Yes, they might be older, but Ford had hope that they would be able to still have adventures more to come in their future.

A/N: Hey there Gravity Falls Fans! So I decided that I wanted to showcase my OC’s for Ford and Stan. I figured one of the best ways to do that was to write some cute one shots based on writing prompts. So here I am with day 1 (though I know it’s a little late) of the A to Z 30 day challenge! I am also releasing a companion short of Stan and Raina for this particular prompt so stay tuned! I hope that you all enjoy! 

You can find the challenge here: https://uhmmmsweetie.tumblr.com/post/172330329580/30-day-otp-alphabet-challenge

It was created by @uhmmmsweetie

[aziraphalesangel]

Alisons: Sexuality? Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender? Anemone: Favorite flower? (and answer that question too, if it is on the list) Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be? Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood. Canna: Do you have any tattoos? (or do you want any?) Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to? Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month? Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

alisons: greyace (or maybe just ace, I forgot that aesthetic attraction was a thing lol) and aromantic, because every time I try and write romance I realise I have no idea what I’m talking about

amaranth: she/her or they/them. as for gender, ahh cisfemale but, maybe non-binary?? idk I have a weird relationship with gender, and there are definitely times when I just... don't feel it

anemine: I am so very very allergic to flowers, so generally anything without pollen, but I also really really love those red gum tree flowers

black eyed susan: one of those really spoiled house cats with a diamonte studded collar, no responsibilities, gets the high-end cat food, probably has an Instagram, everyone goes “oh shit my bad” when I hiss at them, has a hundred very expensive beds but I sleep in a box out of spite

borage: so when i was nine my dad signed me and my sisters up for the local scout group, and the week before i turned 10 i went on this “environment” camp and the bunk beds didn't have ladders or railings and on the Sunday morning we got woken up at 6am to go to this wildlife park, and i had this genius idea to climb out of the top bunk in my sleeping bag because it was cold, and i fell and gave myself a concussion. now all the bunk beds have these really ugly railings made out of treated pine nailed to them, and all the scouts in our region know that it’s my fault and i still haven't been to that wildlife park

canna: no i don't have any tattoos, but i do want one! I have this idea floating around in my head of a rainbow lorikeet hanging upside down on a bottle brush, but I know those coloured tattoo inks are really bad for your skin (nursing means ill have to have it somewhere hidden though, but my cousin is a tattoo artist, so one day I'm gonna save up and fly to the gold coast and have him design something for me)

common boneset: i have a two-week clinical placement next week, and i’ll be on the mental health ward, and I’m actually really keen to go. I really loved doing the theory work for that class, and it’s in an actual hospital, so it’s a really good placement. also, our lockdown restrictions have loosened a little bit, and a few friends were talking about going somewhere for a picnic, so if that happens, that’ll be great, i haven't seen them in months

freesia: good things... new meds mean i’m not wheezing all the time now so that's good... i had my birthday and my friend made me a red velvet cake... oh! and i’ve mostly figured out how to draw anatomy again, because there was a while where i just completely forgot how to draw

lantana: *promptly forgets every compliment I've ever received* um, probably one (all) of the comments I've gotten on my fics? i mean, i get compliments irl occasionally too but i usually forget them out of embarrassment soon after

[haikyuu-scenarios-drabbles]

anonymous asked:  I'm so happy the request are open! Please can I request Kuroo and his girlfriend are both medical students and one day when they're particularly alone in one of the college labs or classrooms he somehow convince her that it's okay to have a quickie here even though she was scared that someone may find out or caught them at it? Thx

Warning: nsfw 

where am i, who am i, except constantly in kuroo smut hell (which honestly isn’t the worst) i don’t know if this can even be considered a ‘quickie’ but we’ll just go with yes. hope you enjoy !! because...i...did..

Trying his best not to groan, Kuroo leaned back in his chair; rubbing his burning eyes and then running a hand through his hair. The sun set hours ago, and the fluorescent lights were beginning to give him a headache. He glanced at you, back to him, writing something on the whiteboard at the front of the room; drawing a line through the body diagram you’d sketched. He knew you were saying something to him, trying to teach, since he asked for clarification about some circulation pathway he kept getting mixed up.

But really all he could focus on was the way your body moved, hands motioning wildly as you spoke; crossing to the other side of the whiteboard to point something out. Fuck—you were so goddamn smart; he’d been absolutely powerless against you those first weeks of medical school. A total goner when he overhead you just go off on another male student who claimed females inherently weren’t cut out for the medical profession; utterly destroying the kid with your knowledge and passion. He thought he wasn’t going to be able to handle it when you’d ended up in the same lab group as him, but by some miracle, you hadn’t thought he was a total imbecile and agreed to go on a date with him. And now here you were at the end of the year, dating since then.

That was how you found him when you turned around, dazed in his chair; looking like his mind was on anything but the circulatory system. “Were you even listening?” You demanded, getting his attention by striding in front of his table and waving a hand in front of his face.

He blinked and then grinned sheepishly. “I don’t know how much more information I can stuff up here tonight,” he motioned to his temple.

You frowned. “We still have the muscular system to do.”

He leaned his head back letting out a groan. You and he have been in the anatomy lab for hours studying for your final in a few days and he was convinced his brain was going to explode. He couldn’t fathom how you could muster the willpower to continue.

“I think my eyeballs are going to shrivel up and die,” he claimed, watching you move to his side of the table to stand before him and offer a hand.

Pulling him up out of his chair, you rolled your eyes. “I don’t think that’s possible.” Leading him to join you at the whiteboard, you started explaining what was on it again but damn him—he let his mind wander again, his attention focusing on your lips. God how long has it been since he last kissed you beyond anything but a tender peck? How long since his hands had free range over every dip and curve of your body; soft pleas of his name in the cadence of your voice filling the air?

Oh, he was really screwed now if that’s the direction his thoughts were taking.

Carefully, he sidled closer allowing his hand to drift down the expanse of your back before settling on your ass. Words dying in your throat, your gaze slid over to him suspiciously. “Kuroo…” you said in a low voice. “What…are you…doing?”

“Mmm,” he hummed. “I’ve thought of a much more interactive way of studying.”

You lifted a brow, asking, “Oh, have you?”

He plucked the whiteboard marker from you with his free hand, setting it onto the ledge while turning you to face his chest. Pulling you flush against him, he moved his hand to firmly cup both of your cheeks and lowering his head to nuzzle into your neck. He trailed kisses from beneath your ear towards your collarbone, between them saying, “I have. What muscle is this?”

Attempting to maintain your composure, your pressed your hands to his chest trying to push away from him. “I don’t think this is very conducive to our learning.”

He held firm, murmuring, “Humor me.” His warm breath sending goosebumps along your skin.

“Someone could walk in at any moment,” you hissed, pushing against him a bit harder; cursing your dumb heart for beating wildly against your chest at his suggestion. On any given day it was impossible to resist him but since you couldn’t even remember the last time he touched you like this, it would be a near herculean task to keep him at bay.

He nipped gently at your ear, hands drifting underneath your shirt to skim along the sensitive skin of your back, hoping to persuade you. “We haven’t seen a soul all day.”

You paused. Oh—what the hell. Now, instead of pushing him away, your fingers curled into his shirt; thoughts clouding as to what exactly he had in mind.

“The sternocleidomastoid.”

You felt him grin against your neck. “I love it when you talk smart to me,” he whispered silkily, earning a scoff from you. “Tell me again.”

“You fucking weirdo—”

“Just do it,” he said, pressing himself a little harder against you; you were so close to caving he just had to nudge you a bit farther.

An eyeroll from you, but you complied. You didn’t think with that pressure against your leg there was a point to you resisting him much longer anyways. Rising to your toes to reach his ear, you wrapped your arms around him lacing your fingers through his hair at the back of his neck eliciting a low groan from him. “The sternocleidomastoid.”

“Fuck.” He moaned, gripping the backs of your thighs to lift you off the ground and wrap your legs around him, he carried you to the nearest table. His mouth moved from your neck, up your jaw to your lips; wasting no time to start trailing kisses down your sternum, pushing your shirt up to gain access to your stomach. A choked breath escaped you as his hand delved under your sweatpants to palm you through your underwear; he took the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth effectively making you melt beneath him.

He found great pleasure in the small sound he got from you as he lazily dragged one finger up through your folds, a groan emitting from him at the slickness already gathered there. “So wet,” he whispered, forehead pressed against yours.

“We have to be qui—" He stopped just below your clit to drag his finger back down, your sentence cut off to plead, “Ah—Kuroo…please.” Teasing you further he avoided the part of you that was aching to be touched, enjoying you squirming impatiently underneath him. “This is no time for your endless teasing.”

He smirked. “Why don’t you tell me what you want then?”

“Oh jesus fuck—” You whimpered, thighs trembling at his unhurried pace. “I—” a huff, “I—oh—please Tetsu just touch me already.” It had been weeks since he last touched you and you were burning up, desperate for any sort of friction.

Now you were playing unfair, throwing out his nickname like that; he was unable to quell the low growl that emanated from his throat. He finally granted your request, dragging a calloused finger up against the hardened bud of your clit; drinking in the sight of your entire body reacting to his touch—back arching with your head pressed against the table exposing the glorious expanse of your throat for him to latch onto.

Fingers scrabbling at his back for any sort of purchase to push your hips against his hand, trying to urge him to pick up any pace faster than the agonizingly slow one he was currently torturing you with. He deeply enjoyed your desperation as he made a mark at the juncture of your throat and shoulder that you would surely scold him for later. Not particularly caring, he grazed his teeth gently along the column of your throat to make steady work on another one.

Abruptly, you tangled your fingers into his dark mass of hair to tug his gaze up to meet yours; he had to bite back his groan at the state of you. Chest heaving, cheeks flushed, and eyes wild with the thrill of what you two were doing—you would be the gods-damned end of him.

“What do I have to do to get you to go any faster,” you rasped breathily, although seemingly annoyed he knew you were loving every second of this.

His eyes glinted. “Nothing—absolutely nothing,” he said, sinking two fingers knuckle deep in you. He thought he was going to lose it at the most beautiful moan that he provoked from you. But he somehow maintained his lazy pace, much to your despair. Though his fingers were certainly granting you the stimulation you were begging for, especially when he’d curl them ever so slightly; forcing you to grip his back to find any sort of sanity left in you—it wasn’t enough.

“Ah—please,” a sigh, “Kuroo—I need,” a broken moan, “Tetsu—please.”

There was a limit to his teasing, and it normally broke right around the time he successfully made you into an incoherent mess. So, hooking his fingers into the waistband of your sweatpants, he swiftly tugged them off you to reveal some simple panties leaving him a bit breathless—god you were gorgeous, and you were his. “You know,” he drawled, pulling them slowly down, “I’ve wanted to ruin you on one of these tables since the day I met you.”

He watched color bloom along your neck, using your hands to cover your face in embarrassment. “Oh, stuff it,” you scoffed.

That wouldn’t do. Prying your hands apart, he forced you to look at him. “I mean it,” he said, rising from being hunched over you and striding over to his backpack. “I’ll prove it.” You lifted yourself to your elbows to watch him rifle through his backpack before extracting a small rectangular package. “This definitely hasn’t been in my backpack since the first week of school.”

A smile rose to your features. “Please tell me you’ve at least replaced it since then.”

“Of course, I have,” he said, leaning over you once again; his warm breath fanning your face. “I’m not an idiot.”

Now a laugh bubbled up from your chest and fucking hell—it struck him that he was the luckiest man alive to have this stunning, smartass, genius person in his life. “Well?” You prompted, trailing a hand down his chest towards his groin. “Are you finished teasing me?”

He settled his hands at your waist, thumbing the hem of your underwear. “Me? A tease? Never,” he said planting a kiss to your neck.

“You’re insufferable.”

He just grinned devilishly before swiftly removing his own clothing, finally letting his painfully hard cock free from the confines of his pants. He let you nimbly roll the condom on, taking an extreme amount of mental fortitude not to shudder at your touch; before practically ripping your underwear off. He didn’t bother with easing into it, the two of you already fairly comfortable with each other, and judging by the deep moan filling the room—you wouldn’t have been too pleased with anything less than him sinking his entire length into you.

Bracing his forearms on the table on either side of you, he moved his hips; breath coming out in short bursts as he tried to grasp at his last thread of control. “Tetsu,” you purred— causing his grip on that control to slip. “Fuck me.”

A growl ripped from him, any inkling of control dissipating with it. He slammed into you, his thighs trembling from how exquisitely tight you were around him; your nails raking down his spine and head thrown back in pure ecstasy. If someone walked in on the two of you, he didn’t think either of you would notice or care. He picked up on your body language; toes curling, grip tightening momentarily on him, and breath shortening; he didn’t let up.

Continuing to pound into you, deeper with each thrust, hitting you just right—your eyes rolled back into your head before completely shattering in his arms. Limbs twitching as waves of pleasure wracked through you; you could barely hang on to him with the force of your orgasm coursing through you. He just took your face into his hands, kissing you; stealing your breath—the motion of his hips showing no signs of slowing. Until he abruptly stilled, legs shaking, panting against your neck; his cock twitching inside you.

“Fuck,” he muttered. Then lifted his head to meet your gaze, and you both start chuckling at the situation you’d put yourselves in. Both of you panting between laughs, he finally said, “I can’t believe I convinced you to do that.”  

You shoved his shoulder as he pulled out, a sheepish grin on your face. “Shut up.” Wincing at the twinge of soreness in your thighs from having them wrapped around him, you stood, and in a flurry of skin and clothes, you straightened yourself motioning for him to do the same. You shoved his backpack into his arms, ignoring his amused expression; slung yours over a shoulder and then dragged him from the lab—intent on studying the rest of his anatomy for the remainder of the night.