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whereisten · 4 years ago

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Valentine Boy

(MOBILE-FRIENDLY VERS.)

Special Cover Art by @nakayutasama ❤️

Summary:

You’ve been dating College Student!Jaehyun for a few months now. He’s unbelievably sweet, smart, oh..and very handsome. Best of all, he gives you the best love you’ve ever had. He’s the love of your life and you can’t see anything going wrong as your relationship sails smoothly..that is..until you discover his biggest secret. He’s been hiding the fact that he’s a camboy and you start to wonder..Is Jaehyun as sweet and honest as you think he is?

Pairing: female reader X college student and camboy!Jaehyun

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff

Warnings: cursing, cheating, cam boy (video-recorded sex with online audience), deception, manipulation, blackmail, alcohol use, descriptive smut (fingering, overstimulation, face riding, dirty talk, BDSM themes (handcuff usage, spanking), drunk sex, oral sex (m&f receiving), some masturbation, rough sex, vaginal penetration, breast fondling, dry humping, semi-public sex).

(A/N): I received a message saying that Part 3 was difficult to read on mobile, the app would glitch and eventually close (because we love tumblr for being efficient). So I am splitting part 3 into 3 equal parts of about 7K words each for easier reading. Thank you all again for supporting this fic!!!!🥺❤️

—————

[The Night before Spring Break]

“Do we have enough content for a week or so? I’ll be gone with my girl to Bali. I trust that you’ll upload everything on time.” Jaehyun fixes his shirt over his head while his back is faced to Reina. He doesn’t see her eyes roll in annoyance.

They’ve just recorded new clips to post during spring break for when Jaehyun goes on vacation with you.

“Yes, I will take care of it…but I have a surprise for you..” She fixes her smudged lipstick.

Jaehyun turns to her carefully, his hand already on his backpack. “You know I don’t like surprises.” He says lowly.

“Oh, Valentine Boy, don’t look at me like that..especially not while I clean your cum from my legs.”

Jaehyun glares then gets up from the couch and heads for the door.

“Anyway..I’ll be seeing you in Bali.”

He freezes in his tracks. “What did you just say?”

She gets up and walks over to him, a sly smile creeping across her face as she swings her hips.

“I thought I deserved a break too. I should treat myself to a fun vacation, right? And what better place to visit than Bali!” Her eyes open wide.

Jaehyun drops his bag and grabs her wrist, he spins her around so her back hits the door.

He towers over her with dark eyes and a menacing look. He looked as if he would tear her apart in three seconds if she were to utter one more word. But Reina is only turned on by his swift movements and harsh grip.

“Ah!” She hisses. “I love it when you’re rough with me..but are you sure you can go another round?”

“You’d be crazy to come to Bali! But if you do, I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to hear you, I don’t even want to smell your cheap perfume anywhere near me and my girl!”

Jaehyun says through gritted teeth.

“Oh, Jaehyun..a few minutes ago, you were dying to be in me..”

“It’s called acting!”

Reina chuckles, then leans in close to whisper in his ear.. “I can control my desires…can you? Will she be good enough? Can she satisfy your hunger?”

Jaehyun steps back, his mouth falling open into a gasp. “She’s more than enough..don’t you ever talk about her like that. You’re letting this gig get into your head if you think you could ever replace her. Move.”

Reina only grins and steps to the side. “I’ll see you in Bali, Valentine Boy.”

“For your sake, I hope we don’t run into each other. Don’t forget who I really love, Reina. You’re just my..Hmm how do you say it? Coworker.”

He brushes past her and opens the door to let himself out.

————

[The First Day in Bali]

“Oh my God! Look at this room!!” You say with excitement. Your eyes widen at the sight of the gorgeous room overlooking the beach in Bali. There’s a main living room with a U-Shaped white couch and a huge TV Screen.

The kitchen was big also, filled with brand new and stainless steel appliances.

“Oooo!! This is so cool!” You drop your bags and run off to the bedroom.

Jaehyun laughs as he follows in behind you and watches you prance around.

You push onto the wooden sliding doors, they open to reveal a California king sized bed. It looked like a heavenly cloud and you couldn’t wait to be in it with the one you loved the most.

The best part about it all was you had the entire villa to yourselves. You could go out onto the patio and enjoy the serene environment that surrounded you. You could just imagine the wonderful moments you’d have with Jaehyun during the sunsets. The sun shining onto his peachy skin and bringing out his more handsome features like his eyes and soft lips.

You gasp, then turn to him. “This..this is beautiful Jaehyun. It must’ve cost a fortune.”

Jaehyun shakes his head. “Remember what I told you..no talk about expenses, okay?”

He stands over you, wrapping his arms around your body to pull you into him more. He looks down into your wide eyes, brimming with tears.

“What’s wrong?”

“Do you think I’m worth all this, Jaehyun? I don’t know…you work so hard..and to spend it all on me.. I just.” You shake your head and break the intense eye contact he held.

Money was something you always struggled with. Your mom did the best she could to provide for you since you were young, so you always tried to spend wisely and appreciate every dollar. Your family never had disposable income to take trips around the world or even to Disneyland. You’re only able to attend college because of scholarships and loans.

So for someone to spend money on you just to give you a vacation to enjoy, you found it difficult to accept. It was all so new to you.

“Hey.” Jaehyun takes your chin in his hand and tilts your head back to face him.

“You’re worth all this and more. I love you..so much. Please never doubt that.”

He leans down to place a delicate kiss on your lips. Your arms circle around his waist as you hug him and tip toe to get another kiss.

“Thank you.” You whisper.

He kisses you deeper now, taking your tongue into his mouth as his head turns. Your eyes close as you enjoy this moment with Jaehyun. The two of you standing at the foot of the large bed in the wonderful room. Your hair swaying gently with the breeze coming through the open doors leading to the patio and pool.

When you pull away to breathe, you open your eyes and look into Jaehyun’s before biting your lips.

“What time is dinner?” You ask quietly.

Jaehyun smirks. He already knows what you’re up to from your lustful tone. “Well…we have reservations for 6…which is 45 minutes from now..”

You run your fingers up the back of his neck slowly then massage his scalp. “Hmmm..the sun’s getting real low..Can you…push it to 7? That way..we can enjoy the sunset.”

Jaehyun bites his lips. “It’s really difficult to get reservations at this restaurant, babe.”

Your other hand traces over his bulge and palms it as you still look into his eyes.

Jaehyun clears his throat. “But I’m sure I can pull some strings.”

You wink. “Good.”

You take his hand and lead him to the patio where there are several lounge chairs. You then push his chest lightly, making him fall into one.

You crawl over him and lean over his lap. He watches you below him while getting turned on by the lustful look in your eyes.

He takes in a sharp breath, watching as you take the waistband of his sweatpants in your teeth and drag it down slowly, his somewhat-hard cock springing up.

You lick over it slowly from the base to the tip, your eyes locked with his as the taste of his salt skin awakens your senses.

Your tongue dips in between the small slit at the top, collecting a tiny bit of precum in the process. Jaehyun watches your beautiful lips on him as your ass sticks up in the air. The breeze from the ocean feels harsh now that you are outside. It blows so hard that your dress flips up and exposes your ass cheeks, only your opening is covered by a g-string.

You continue to lay light, teasing kitten licks along his length while cupping your hand around the base and moving it up and down steadily.

“I’ve wanted to do this since we got on the plane, babe.” You say before running your tongue up his shaft.

Jaehyun is fully hard now, his lips red from him biting them as he watches you work.

“Fuck, baby, I wanted to take you in the bathroom, too. But this is so much better.”

You smile then sit up straight.

Jaehyun frowns and reaches out for you. “No..keep going..pl-“

“Don’t worry, baby, I just want to get this out of the way.” You zip your dress down and throw it to the side. You lean down to Jaehyun again but he stops you.

“But baby, that bra must be so uncomfortable..” He smirks.

You chuckle then take your bra off as well. Now you leaned over Jaehyun in just your thin underwear.

Jaehyun is even more turned on now that he’s seen your entire body dazzling in the rusty sunlight, your hair blowing in the wind and your body above his as your chest heaves.

You take his length into your mouth completely. Hollowing your cheeks so that he feels the soft surface of your mouth.

Jaehyun groans and leans his head back. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful.”

You roll your tongue across every vein as your hand strokes the base that you can’t reach with your mouth. You enjoy the sounds he makes but you want more.

You take your mouth off of him, letting a stream of spit fall from it.

Jaehyun looks down and grunts.

You wipe your chin. “Shouldn’t you be making a call?”

Jaehyun tilts his head questioningly.

You raise an eyebrow.

A short moment passes but then Jaehyun falls out of his dazed feeling and remembers. “I’ll call them right now!”

He reaches over for his phone on a glass coffee table beside the chair and dials the restaurant. But you resume what you were doing, this time, taking in his entire length and gagging.

Jaehyun flinches at the sudden feeling. “Oh fuuuuu— HELLO! Yes.. I’m-I’m Jaehyun.. and..”

He struggles to speak while he watches you suck and feels your tongue across his aching cock.

You can feel your sensitive area become wet as your legs shake. You then take his other ball into your mouth and cover it in spit.

“Sir?” The person on the other line speaks.

Jaehyun holds back a groan. “Ah! Yes! I’m so sorry, I uh, I have a reservation for two and I want to change it to 7 instead. C-can you do that for me?”

“Do what, daddy?” You mouth.

He smiles and bites his bottom lip to hold back another grunt as he thrusts into your mouth.

You hold his hip down and shake your head as you stroke his cock. You then lick his neglected balls slowly before taking one into your mouth completely.

“Oh sh-“ He closes his eyes tightly, leaning back into the chair as he holds himself back.

“Sir..we usually don’t make last minute changes, but fortunately we do have a spot open for 7.”

The person awaits his response, but Jaehyun is too captivated by your mouth. Your tongue is working magic on him as you swallow him completely and gag.

“Sir?”

You suck harder and move faster, releasing your hold on his hip so he can fuck into your mouth now. He whimpers quietly while moving the phone away from his ear with his other hand. You breathe through your nostrils as you feel him hit the back of your throat.

He’s about to cum but..

“Sir?!” The person tries to get his attention again.

You chuckle, sending vibrations through his sensitive member.

“Yes! Ah! God, yes!” He yells into the phone as he releases into your mouth, coating the back of your throat with strings of cum.

“…We’ll see you then.” The person states then hangs up.

Jaehyun drops his phone, not caring where it falls, but moaning loudly now that he can be as vocal as he wants.

He runs his hand through your scalp as he thrusts into you slowly to get every bit out and into you. “Fuck..you naughty girl.”

When his grip loosens, you lift your head and let his essence cover your chin. “What did I do?” You ask innocently while wiping your mouth. You then shrug your shoulders.

He chuckles. “You’re gonna regret that, sweetheart, come here.” He makes a motion with his finger. He looks dangerously handsome, a strand of his hair falling into his forehead after he climaxed.

You crawl over him, but stop. “Where do you want me, baby?”

He wipes your chin for you and smiles widely. “I know you’re dripping…should I help you out with that, sweetheart?”

Your legs tighten just from the sound of his gravelly voice calling you ‘sweetheart’. You nod.

“Stand up for me, baby.”

You do as he says and watch as he slides down so that his body now rests at one level rather than being lifted at the neck up.

“Sit on my face, right now..I can’t wait to taste you.”

Your eyes widen. “A-Are you sure?”

Jaehyun smiles and licks his lips. “Get on me..now.” He says with a deeper voice.

You quickly stand over him and lower yourself slowly, kneeling into the chair.. Jaehyun takes the waistband of your underwear in his hands and rips it off of you.

“Hey!” You let out but he slaps your ass.

“It was in the way.” He gives a sly smile.

With a reassuring nod from him, you rest your bare pussy onto his open mouth, but not without flinching from the feeling of something being against it finally.

“Mmmmm..” Jaehyun hums then licks up and down your opening.

You move back and forth, slowly grinding against his soft lips and flattened tongue. Your breathing becomes shallow as he passes it over in between your folds slowly, pressing against your sweet spot gently.

You naturally raise your hands up to your breasts and massage them as you watch Jaehyun below you. You moan as a shaky breath leaves your wet lips.

He just has to touch you so he places his hands on your waist. He pulls you down onto him more while flicking the tip of his tongue onto your bud.

You let out a whimper, moving faster as Jaehyun pushes into your opening with his tongue. He pushes in as deep as he can while watching you move above him. He enjoys watching you like this with the sky above the both of you, painted in colors of blue, orange and pink.

It didn’t feel real, it felt like he was looking at a painting. Your perfect breasts move while you grasp them harder and let your fingers rub against the hard nipples.

Your hair is still blowing in the wind and your mouth opens while your moans get louder.

You grind onto him harder. “Are you sure you’re okay? Fuck..this feels so good.”

Jaehyun nods.

His hands lower from your waist down to your ass cheeks. He spreads them apart so his tongue can explore every inch of you, sticking the tip of his tongue on your slit before flicking it from side to side. He buries his nose onto your clit to provide the perfect stimulation.

“Jaehyun!” You cry out and move your hips faster.

He feels himself become hard again as he feels your round ass in his hands and listens to your wonderful sounds.

“I’m-.” You convulse over him and shake.

Jaehyun watches as you writhe, your entire body becoming covered in goose pimples and your jaw clenching as your head falls back.

He continues to massage your clit with his unforgiving tongue. Your eyes shut tightly while you orgasm for what feels like a century.

When you finally start to come down, Jaehyun releases his hold and takes your waist in his hands again. He quickly flips you over so that you’re on your back now. He throws his shirt off and kneels over you as your legs fall over his shoulders.

“I love you..” He says before pushing into you slowly.

You take his head in your hands and kiss him, licking off your essence from his mouth as he enters you completely.

He pushes deep inside you, running against your wet and sensitive walls as you whimper into his mouth.

One hand massages his scalp again while the other presses onto his back.

Jaehyun kisses you harder and harder each time, he takes your bottom lip into his mouth before licking over it.

“I love you too, baby.” You whisper once you pull away to breathe.

His chest presses against your breasts. Your heartbeats run at the same pace, his breath dances on your chin as his speed increases.

He glides in and out easily, your bud being stimulated easily by his quick movements. But he goes so deep, you begin to widen your legs more for comfort.

He pushes into you harder, pressing you into the chair and you’re sure there will be a lasting impression of your body based on how hard he’s pushing.

“Baby, you’re so wet.” He leans into your ear and whispers while gripping the crook of your knees. He watches you below him, your brows furrow and your lips red from you biting them. Your eyes are wide and brimming with tears as he fucks into you deep and keeps your legs by your head.

You look down to see his hips slap against your ass cheeks rapidly. His abs and biceps flex with every movement. And you think to yourself, how hot he is.

“Shit.” You orgasm again just from the sight of the beautiful man above you.

Jaehyun’s movement stutters. His cock being greeted by your convulsing wet pussy is enough to make him cum, but he pulls out quickly.

“Open, sweetheart.”

You open your mouth and look up with low eyes as he releases onto your tongue and chin.

“F-fuck.” He curses from the sight of your position, your legs by your head and your chest rising up and down as you catch your breath.

You lick all of it up and swallow.

“Oh, you nasty girl. Let’s get cleaned up.” He picks you up from the couch and holds you in his arms bridal style.

————

[Third Day In Bali]

After snorkeling a few times and enjoying a walk through multicolored flower fields, you and Jaehyun decide to take a cooking class together. You both needed to work on your skills, so what better way to learn than to learn from each other’s mistakes.

“Hello! Welcome to Laplapan Village! Today, we will be making Sambal. We will start off by taking a walk through the market behind us and buying the spices necessary for our dish!” Your tour guide states enthusiastically to your group of about 10 couples.

Jaehyun turns to you and gives you a wide smile. “Are you ready?” His eyes shine brightly in the sun, his skin shimmering with small balls of sweat. He smells like fresh sea and sage, but he looked like a prince. He had already gained a slight tan during your stay. Your eyes travel down his thick neck and to his exposed collar bone. Luckily, all the places you marked the night before were still being covered by his linen button up.

You nod and smile back. “Of course.”

He takes your hand and leads you in front of him. The two of you walk through the market and gaze at the vibrant colors, the smell of unique spices fill your noses. Everything is so bright and beautiful. People smile as you pass by their stores.

The tour guide had given you a list of spices to buy, so now it was up to the two of you to find them. Sounds easy right? Well, with no comprehension of the language and no cell phone service to simply Google the names, you were left to ask the owners of various shops if they had certain spices. Some gave you weird faces while some were very helpful.

Jaehyun laughs at your awkwardness. You hit him lightly on the arm and roll your eyes.

As you walk in front of him, he watches the way your body sways in your sundress, your curves perfectly accentuated yet the flowiness of the dress left much to the imagination…that is, to everyone but him. He knows exactly how your body looks underneath, he knows that your thighs and gorgeous skin were littered with his love bites, and that your waist has small bruises left from his fingertips.

He bites his lips as he thinks about the night before as well. But then he smells your hair, it is a refreshing scent. He loves to bury his face in it just to smell that scent. He loved placing his chin on your head as you laid on his chest and fell asleep. But most of all, he loved moments like this: you holding his hand as you guide him through crowds, you turning to him with the prettiest smile on your face and your beautiful, captivating eyes.

“Ah! Here it is, Jae!” You squeeze his hand gently once you find the right peppers.

“Ooo!! Yup those look spicy as f-“ Jaehyun’s face twists as he lifts it to his nose.

“We’ll take it, thank you!” You speak over Jaehyun before he continues and hands the store owner the money to pay.

The rest of the day went by smoothly, you enjoyed cooking together. Luckily, you had aprons for when things got messy. The two of you were probably the most childish during the lesson. You laughed at everything and stared at each other.

Jaehyun tried to blame you for making the dish too spicy.

“Maybe if you weren’t busy staring at my ass in this dress, you would’ve measured the peppers correctly.” You whisper into his ear as the two of you eat with the other couples.

Jaehyun only smirks and turns to you slightly. A twinkle in his eye catches your attention.

He places his large hand on your thighs and squeezes them. You flinch and almost hit your knee against the table.

Jaehyun stuffs his mouth, chewing as he turns back to watch you.

You lick your lips as he pushes his fingers up towards the apex of your legs slowly. You gulp and look down as his long fingers caress your thigh and send goosebumps up your neck.

Jaehyun chuckles quietly then leans closer to your ear. “Be careful, sweetheart.. I’ve been dying to rip that dress off of you all day.”

You look around at the other couples. None of them seemed to notice that he was carefully pushing his fingers against your dress, pressing ever so lightly to apply pressure to your sensitive area.

You try to scoot away from him, but he grabs your thigh and pulls you back to where you were.

“Hmm now why would you do that? Are you running away from me? Your boyfriend? Tsk tsk..”

He pushes two fingers against you again but with more force this time while he takes a scoop of rice up and holds it in front of your face.

“Open for daddy.”

You open your mouth. Jaehyun places the fork in your mouth and drags it out slowly.

He watches as you struggle to chew while he runs circles onto your aching slits.

“Open….” he whispers huskily. Your mouth falls open as you give him a questioning look.

“Jae..we can’t..”

Jaehyun smirks then leans into your ear again. “Open your legs or I’ll fuck you right here and show them how much of a slut you are..no one knows you’re not wearing underwear right now. Do you want them to find out?”

You gulp. Your eyes widen at Jaehyun’s sudden shift. He very rarely spoke dirty to you, but you had to admit you liked it. You are thankful to be sitting, your legs becoming weak as a growing and unignorable wetness starts to build below you.

You do as he says while moving down more so your lap is completely under the table.

He continues to tap your slit and move his harsh fingertips up and down slowly, teasingly.

“What are you..doing?” You ask through a shaky breath.

Jaehyun smiles. “I’m playing with my food.”

“Jaehyun..that isn’t fair..” Your stomach starts to feel uneasy. You can feel that need for release growing.

“I’m so hard right now..just thinking about slamming you down onto this table. Fucking you from behind while all these people watch. It’s been a while since I’ve been rough with you, hasn’t it?” He takes a deep breath. “I miss watching you cry when I choke you.”

You open your legs a little more and place your fork down. You shift in your seat slightly, grinding onto his fingers now to feel more, more friction, more of him, more of anything that will just get you to cum.

But he pulls his fingers away and places his hand on the table.

“Do you miss it, baby? You have to show me you deserve it.”

You pout. “Of course, I love it! Please..just touch me again.”

“At the dinner table? Oh naughty girl, that’s just not right. Who would do such a thing?” He winks then takes another bite of his food.

You curse quietly and shake your head, glancing away from his beautiful fingers that were bringing you to paradise just moments ago.

That night, you and Jaehyun went to see a movie on the beach. You cuddled up to each other and enjoyed your warmth. He would look over at your cute face every now and then and grin to himself. He knew he was lucky to have you.

But when you got back to the villa, Jaehyun didn’t pick up where he left off. No matter how much you begged.

“Please!! Jaehyun…I want you so badly.” You practically cling onto his arm as he changed into his night clothes.

“Hmmm I’d say we’ve been fucking a lot..almost too much on this trip.. can’t you last just one night without it?”

You look up at him with big eyes as he brushes his teeth. “But you got me so wound up at dinner. Ugh!”

Jaehyun only laughs as he watches you through the bathroom mirror. You stomp off to the room and take your dress off.

“Why would you start something you’re not gonna finish?! Ughhh! You’re so unfair! I’m never sucking your dick again for this!”

Approaching you, Jaehyun laughs so hard he nearly chokes on his spit. “I love when you’re bratty.”

“Pleaseee Jae….” You crawl over him and onto the bed while begging one final time.

He suddenly brings you to his chest and holds you tight in a comfortable bear hug.

“Yes, just like this, baby..this is how I want us to be tonight..” He hums in your ear.

“I love you..”

Your heart rate speeds up as you rest on him. “I love you too….but I mean it when I say I’m never sucking your dick again.”

Jaehyun chuckles. “Sure..whatever you say, sweetheart.”

————

[Fifth Day in Bali]

The fourth day was filled with many more adventures with Jaehyun. You had your bratty moments but he would smirk and say that he liked it. Perhaps because he knew what he would do to you during your last night in Bali.

Tonight was your final night so you decided to go to a popular nightclub after having a romantic dinner on the beach.

You wore a black lingerie set Jaehyun had bought you. It had a gorgeous lace bra and garter belt with a lace thong accented by red beads attached. Once again, you felt beyond delicious and ready for Jaehyun. But unlike Valentine’s Day, you’d been together all day, there’s no way he’d be late for anything.

Your black leather dress was tight and accentuated your boobs while minimizing your waistline with a chain belt. The dress stopped a little higher than mid thigh but had straps which connected to your stocking heels.

If sexy was a person, you were sure you were it for the night.

You did your hair and makeup nicer than usual. You even wore Jaehyun’s favorite lipstick, a blush pink color that you wore with a lip liner so it would complement your skin color perfectly.

“Wow..” Jaehyun gasps when you walk out of the bedroom.

He was waiting for you on the couch. He stands up and walks over to you, a smile crossing his face before he licks his lips. “You know what? I’m not really feeling the club anymore..why don’t we just stay inside and..”

“Nope! We are not staying in on our last night! Let’s go!” You shimmy away from him and head for the door.

The club was large and lavish. Stunning women and men danced to bass boosted music while under the colorful stage lights. You and Jaehyun were still feeling the effects of the red wine you had at dinner. But you decided to have a few shots so you’d really be engaged and as carefree as the other club attendees.

Bodies swayed easily, bodies were on top of bodies as they grinded and made out.

They all looked so sexy, you wanted to feel what they felt, to be as they were with the ones you hoped they loved too.

Jaehyun wraps his arm around you, pulling you into his chest. He slants over and kisses your ear. “You look amazing, my love.” His voice is raspy and low, the alcohol clearly having an affect on him.

The music is loud but you can still hear him. But more importantly, you can feel him. The way his arm holds you. The way his heart beats against your back. Your butt presses against his pelvis. You grind onto him along to the music. Your bodies move together as you blend into the crowd of other lustful dancers.

Jaehyun pants into the crook of your neck while your hand goes to his head and your fingers intertwine with his hair. He moans quietly as you massage his scalp and press onto his growing erection.

“Fuck baby, I love you.” He whispers again.

He grips your hip with one hand so the two of you stay in sync. His other hand snakes up your abdomen and to your chest. He cups your breast through your dress as you let out a quiet mewl.

Your butt moves in circles on his lap, making his head spin. He moves his hand from your breast and then to your neck. He squeezes gently. “Show me how badly you want it, sweetheart.”

You grind onto him harder. You’re both tipsy and everything seems a bit hazy. A machine releases smoke which makes the two of you even more dazed. All you feel is a longing for each other being boosted by the heavy bass.

Jaehyun is about to whisper again when he feels someone pull him away.

The person grabs his hand.

“Hey!” He calls out.

He’s too drunk to stop walking, they easily overpower him and ignore his calls.

You, on the other hand, feel his absence only for a brief moment before he is replaced by someone else.

You close your eyes and dance with the person, being too drunk to realize that they’re not Jaehyun.

Jaehyun is shoved into a wall, before someone places a hand on his chest.

“Well, hello, Jaehyun.” Reina says sneakily.

“What the f-“

Jaehyun is interrupted by a rough kiss. Reina holds his face in her hands, pulling him close so her chest rests against his.

Jaehyun doesn’t protest at first, instead he wraps his arms around her, pulling her onto him even more while overtaking her tongue with his.

You also enjoy intimacy with someone else. Their hands roaming across your body as your back presses into their broad chest.

“You’re beautiful.” The person leans down and whispers in your ear. His voice is low and sexy, sending butterflies through your entire body. In a drunken haze, you let out a laugh and close your eyes while grinding your butt onto him. It had to be Jaehyun, right? Only Jaehyun could feel this good.

But Jaehyun is making out in the corner with Reina. He spins around and pushes Reina into the wall, his lips still latched to hers. Reina moans quietly as she runs her hands up and down Jaehyun’s biceps.

She bites her lips when he pulls away to look at her, his forehead sweaty and his mouth open as staggered breaths leave it.

“You look great in this shirt, Jaehyun..” She unbuttons two more buttons to reveal his chest and runs her fingers down the bare skin slowly.

“Have you missed my touch?” She asks.

And that’s when Jaehyun shifts back to reality.

Touch.

It wasn’t her touch that he missed, it was yours. Jaehyun wipes his mouth and looks at the red lipstick smudge on it in confusion.

“I thought I told you I didn’t want to see you here.” He growls out.

He begins to grow angry at himself for being so ‘easy.’ Reina caught up to him and now you were alone somewhere on the dance floor. You could see them together at any moment.

“Ahhhh..Jaehyun, baby, you know I couldn’t resist.” Reina smirks.

Jaehyun shakes his head and starts to walk away, but Reina tugs his hand. “Just touch me..daddy, feel how wet I am for you already.”

She tries to pull Jaehyun back onto her but he shakes his hand out of her grip.

“Reina..I am too upset for words right now. You have the audacity to show up at the same place me and my girlfriend are at just so you can lure me here. I may be drunk but I’m not stupid. I don’t want you.”

Reina’s smile turns to a frown quickly as she watches Jaehyun walk away from her. It feels bad to be let down after being wound up by his wild kiss, but it feels even worse to know that he wants you more than he wants her.

Meanwhile, the man behind you moves his hand from your waist to your hips. You swing slowly onto him to feel him.

He takes your movement as a sign to touch you more, placing his round lips onto your jawline and soon your neck. You place your hands behind you, throwing your head back as you arch into him. His touch feels amazing, sparks of electricity running across your skin as you dance to the intoxicating rhythm. Everything is blurry and all you can think about is the yearning in between your legs. The yearning that can only be satisfied by him, by J-

“Hey!”

You hear a loud, hoarse voice over the music.

Your eyes snap open as you are taken out of your trance. You turn around to see Jaehyun looking angrily at the man you were dancing with.

“Shit. Jae—I’m so sorry. I-I thought..”

He turns to you, steam practically escaping his ears. You shudder from the look on his face.

“Y/n..what the fuck!”

The dark-haired man chuckles. “Hey, we were just having fun..”

He turns back to the man. “Hey dickhead, can’t you see she’s taken?! Fuck off!”

Jaehyun got so upset so fast, you didn’t understand. Was it the alcohol that made him this angry?

“Jaehyun!” You try to pull him away as the man steps closer to him, but Jaehyun doesn’t budge.

“Like I said..we were just having fun..but I can see why she wanted to get away from you.” The man snickers as Jaehyun’s head looks as if it’s about to blow.

Jaehyun’s eyes widen. “This fucking asshole..”

“Hey! That’s not true!” You put your hand up to the man. “Just leave us alone.”

“Pretty boy started this…I want to see what he’s all about.” He crosses his arms.

Jaehyun balls his hands into fists. You turn back to him and place yourself in between them. “Jaehyun..don’t do this, let’s go home. The last thing we want is for you to be arrested in a foreign country. It’s not worth it.” You place your hand on his.

Jaehyun huffs and turns away from you, speeding to the door. You struggle to push through the crowd to follow him out.

“Jaehyun..baby, wait.” You finally caught up to him outside, but he held his head down and stared at the ground.

“I’m so sorry, I was drunk, I’m still a little drunk, I didn’t..I swear I didn’t know you weren’t behind me.” You beg while panting.

Jaehyun purses his lips. “I don’t want to talk about it..” He raises his hand and calls for a taxi.

“Please..Jaehyun..”

He opens the door for you. “Get in.”

You hurry inside the taxi and fix your dress. Jaehyun joins you and closes the door. He shows the driver the address, but then the two of you sit in silence.

You stare at the side of his face, waiting for him to turn to you and see your face of regret and eyes filled with tears. His jaw is clenched, his eyes are focused on the dark road and street lights outside.

About 10 minutes later, you finally break the silence. You place your hand on his thigh. “Jaehyun, I would never cheat on you, you know that..I love you, and I’m so sorry.”

But he still stared out the window. “How could you not feel the difference, y/n?”

“I-I don’t know, I was drunk. Please, believe me.”

“I don’t know..maybe you just wanted someone else, someone other than me? Is that it?”

“Jaehyun, no, that’s not true at all..I just-“

“Then why did you dance with him?! I’m your boyfriend right?” Jaehyun finally turns to you, his voice rising as the two of you sit in the backseat of the taxi.

“Yes! You are! And I love you so much, please believe me.” A tear runs down your cheek.

Things went south so fast. One moment you were dancing together, the next you were arguing and on the brink of a breakup. But you couldn’t understand why Jaehyun would’ve been this upset. A part of you felt it was unnecessary given the fact that you were inebriated at the time.

Jaehyun turns to the window as you approach your villa after a long and tense ride.

You can’t help but wonder why Jaehyun had let go of you in the first place.

“Where were you, Jaehyun?”

Jaehyun’s eyes widened slightly. He was thankful that you hadn’t seen him with Reina, but how could he explain his absence?

“What?” He turns to you.

“Where were you? Why did you leave me alone on that crowded dance floor?”

“Are you seriously trying to turn this on me right now?” His eyes narrow and you never felt so small. But you remained firm, your concern was valid after all.

“I’m just asking-“

“No, dont..you’re just trying to come up with an excuse for your…slutting around..”

“What? ‘Slutting around’?”

“I went to the bathroom and I came back to you dancing with another man.”

“Jaehyun, I’m not stupid, you were gone for longer than a bathroom break.”

He rubs his temple. “The place was crowded as fuck, y/n! It was difficult to get to you! Wait, you know what, I’m not doing this. You’re making me feel like the bad guy.” He slams the door and heads inside.

You thank the driver before leaving through the other door.

“How am I making you feel like the bad guy when you’re the one that left me in the middle of a nightclub in a country that neither of us are familiar with?!”

Jaehyun takes his shoes off and places them on the floor.

“I drank too, y/n, and I messed up by leaving you. But you know what? At least, I don’t become a fucking slut like you when I’m drunk.”

You scoff. “Wow..Jaehyun, just wow.”

You drop your purse and kick off your heels before rushing into the bathroom to cry.

Jaehyun breaks at the sound of you crying in the bathroom. He sighs and closes his eyes. “Shit.”

You sob uncontrollably while sitting on the edge of the bathtub.

Jaehyun knocks on the locked door. “Hey…listen..I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

Jaehyun knew his outburst had more to do with Reina than it did with you. He was upset that she actually showed up, he was upset that your relationship was at risk because she was there. Things weren’t going as planned, and he didn’t like that.

But unfortunately, he couldn’t control his anger and took it out on you instead.

“Y/n..baby..I know you made a mistake, okay? I’m sorry, I just got upset.”

You sniffle and wipe your eyes.

“Talk to me, please?” Jaehyun leans on the wall beside the door. “I don’t like hearing you cry, baby..”

You roll your eyes and think of how ironic all of this was. One moment he was calling you a slut, the next moment he was begging for forgiveness like you were.

You wash your face and breathe heavily into the towel.

“Y/n…don’t go to sleep angry at me, you know I don’t like when you go to sleep after we argue,” He says.

A moment later you open the door and brush past him while looking at the floor.

He takes your hand and brings you back to him, pressing you into the wall while towering over you.

“Look at me. We’re both upset, right? Let’s just forget about everything…it’s just me and you right now..no more crowded clubs, no more weird guys. I don’t want to regret this vacation, I just want to be with you, okay?”

You look up at him slowly. His eyes are brimming with tears as well. He’s so handsome as a strand of his dark hair hangs in his forehead, his lips are pouted. His cologne fills your nose, he smells so good, you just want to rest on his chest and breathe him in.

You place your lips onto his. He steps forward, making your head fall back into the wall. He takes your head in his hands and presses onto your lips harder.

Your tongue crosses over his bottom lip slowly, teasingly while he turns his head.

Jaehyun then grips your chin in his hand and kisses your lips harder. His kiss is filled with fury, anger, longing. He bites your bottom lip as your eyes close and your back leans even more. When he pulls away to breathe, he looks at you through low eyes while still holding your chin.

His gaze sends chills through your body. It’s a dark gaze that you can’t read. He looks as if he wants to destroy you, make you remember why you’re his.

You breathe heavily, your chest rising and falling as you stare at his lips, wishing they were back on yours.

But instead he rubs his thumb along your bottom lip.

“You love me…right?” He tilts his head, his eyes still narrowing in on your open mouth.

“Of course I do, Jaehyun.” You say breathily.

“Show me then…” he steps back while taking his belt off.

PART 3.1 | PART 3.2 | PART 3.3

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pallasperilous · 4 years ago

Text

Funny Bone

The other day Supernatural9917 threw out this meme as a cracky Halloween Dean/Cas prompt and I was SO MAD, because I then had to write it:

And so here it is. Goddammit.

Funny Bone

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26761150 Words: 4930 Castiel/Dean Winchester Fluff and Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Skeletons, Bad Pick-Up Lines, No Angels AU, Men of Letters Bunker, Mild Gore Mature (mentions of lewd acts, canon-typical violence, and some truly horrible pickup lines)

It wasn’t even a particularly creepy skeleton; it was in kind of a “just chillin’” pose on the floor. One ankle was still locked up in a heavy iron cuff, at the end of a short chain leading back to the wall. Snoresville, as dead stuff goes; Dean’s seen worse at Disneyland. It was the skeleton’s comment about Dean’s ass that really livened things up.

Discovering the bunker in the first place was a helluva surprise. The whole facility is legitimately batshit; Dead Guys of Letters knew how to live (and, apparently, die. All at once.).

But after plowing through a dozen rooms worth of priceless treasures and crusty boobytraps, even Sam was looking kinda full up on shock and awe.

“We can hit the basement tomorrow,” he said. There was a big smudge of dust across his nose and some cobwebs in his hair.

“Nuh uh,” Dean answered, kicking the door shut with the toe of his boot. “If there’s shit still kicking down there, we gotta clean it out before it cleans us out. It’s that or we’re sleepin’ in the car.”

“Ugh,” Sam said, as if twenty minutes ago he hadn’t been losing his mind over a rare book about werewolf hemorrhoids.

So discovering that the basement included a no-shit actual dungeon felt more like an unanticipated bonus, and stumbling across a skeleton while exploring it barely even registered. Skeletons and dungeons! They go together like rama lama lama ka dinga da dinga dong.

It wasn’t even a particularly creepy skeleton; it was in kind of a “just chillin’” pose on the floor, inside a big circle of greasy black ash. It looked a little mildewy in in places. One ankle was still locked up in a heavy iron cuff, at the end of a short chain leading back to the wall. Snoresville, as dead stuff goes; Dean’s seen worse at Disneyland.

It was the skeleton’s comment about Dean’s ass that really livened things up.

“Welp,” Dean had said, holstering his gun and wiping his hands on his jeans. “We’re all clear. Let’s head back upstairs, salt the shit out of everything, and then we can pick up some groceries.”

“Do I get to buy a vegetable that doesn’t fit in a bun, or are we still in the refractory period?” Sam snarked from the corridor.

“I don’t see you cookin’, “ Dean started, shuffling back towards the hall, and that’s when the skeleton butted in.

“Are those astronaut pants?” it asked. “Because your ass is outta this world!”

Dean absolutely did not scream, but it’s possible there was a yelp.

He almost unloaded a clip into it – unclear what that would’ve possibly done, but it’s good to start with the simple, available solutions. Next he nabbed the lighter fluid off of Sam and dumped out half a pound of kosher salt as a chaser and set the fucker alight.

This does not have the intended effect.

“Baby, I’d like to put my meat on your grill,” the skeleton says, greenish flames dancing between its ribs, “because you’re hot, and I’m smokin’.” Then it sits up a little, just enough to shoot Dean some finger guns.

“What the fuck,” Dean says.

Sam makes a little evaluatory noise. “Sexually harassed by a skeleton,” he chuckles. “I think that’s a new one. Even for you. Is that a new one? I know a lot of strange shit went down in Purgatory.”

The skeleton perks up even more at that, grungy eye sockets sweeping up and down Dean’s body. “Are you a time traveler?” it asks. (Maybe he asks, because the voice is pretty deep and dude-ish, although possibly just on account of its vocal cords being leather shoelaces.)

“Wh…no, I’m not a time traveler,” Dean fibs. He’s more of a time trafficking victim, anyway. “Oh, wait, god,” he says. “Please don’t tell me you’re asking that because –“

“– I can see you in my future,” the skeleton finishes, eagerly, and Dean really wishes this thing had eyebrows so he could tell if they’re waggling.

“Yeah, okay. That’s enough for today,” Dean groans. “I need a drink.” He starts to back out of the room as a pre-emptive strike against Bones commenting on how he hates to see Dean leave, but loves to watch him go. Dean’s working on stumbling back again Sam’s left shoe when the skeleton pipes up one last time, this time with a husky, anxious edge.

“I realize that Purgatory isn’t accessible through a simple chronological shift,” it says, teeth chattering. “But it does require travel between modalities, and if you’re capable of that, I would very much like to speak with you again.”

Dean and Sam’s heads slowly swivel back towards the skeleton, like two little pizzas on the same Lazy Susan.

An hour later, they’re still in the dungeon, working on dousing the skeleton with every possible anti-bad-stuff solution they’ve got, just in case he’s a vampire skeleton or a ghoul skeleton or a witch skeleton or maybe just a wendigo that’s incredibly bad at its job. In between progress reports, he’s still hitting on Dean.

“Dude, don’t you have an off switch somewhere?” Dean asks him.

“Well, Dean, you certainly make me feel like a light switch,–“

“– because you turn me on,” all three of them say in unison.

The skeleton looks a little embarrassed, which is kind of impressive when you think about it. “You’ve…heard that one before?” he asks.

“I spend a lot of time in bars,” Dean deadpans. “Okay, sage is a no-go.”

Sam strikes a line off on the clipboard he found upstairs. “Is this part of a curse or something?” he asks, glancing up at Bones. “Like on top of being a sentient skeleton, you can only speak in horrible pickup lines?”

The skeleton shakes his head, which produces a sound Dean recognizes from his kneecaps on cold mornings. “No, the spellwork allows me to speak freely on most subjects; except who I am, or how to free me. But it’s helpful to use language modern humans can easily understand.”

“Huh. Well, in a way, it is Dean’s native tongue,” Sam says, smirking.

“You shut your face,” Dean hisses.

“When I first saw you, I lost my tongue. Can I try yours on for size?” Bones asks Dean.

“Buddy, I don’t know where you get your information from, but nobody actually talks that way,” Dean tells him. “Nobody sober, anyway. Who isn’t a virgin.”

The skeleton slumps. “I learned from my last visitor. He tried to release me on several occasions, but he either died or abandoned the project.”

Dean arches a brow. “The project being…you?”

“I would be very valuable under the right circumstances.” The skeleton shrugs and casually holds out an arm for Dean to scrape at with the demon blade. “He gave me lessons in modern vernacular as a way to pass our time together.”

“Sounds like a peach,” Dean says, before he can catch himself. “If you have a peach-related pickup line in there, man, you’d better just sit on it.”

“That’s what-“

“I will smash you with a hammer,” Dean barks.

The skeleton relents, but with obvious reluctance.

They call it quits before Kansas rolls up the sidewalk for the night and leaves them stranded with nothing but two Clif bars and a gross of septuagenarian cans of franks ’n beans. Bones shifts nervously when Dean leaves – “Which is better, pancakes or waffles?” he asks.

“Pancakes,” Dean says, with a sense of grim duty.

“Because I’d like to know what you’re making me for breakfast,” says Bones, his voice trailing off as Dean books it down the stony corridor.

By lunch the next day (bologna sandwiches, so sue him, he’ll make something good later) they’re pretty sure that Bones doesn’t pose any known, immediate threat – other than to Dean’s sanity – so they switch gears to springing him. Maybe he will be worth something, or maybe he’ll crumble into dust and Be Free, or maybe he’ll just stop being chained to the basement wall, in which case he can become their skeleton butler or something.

There are weird runes on the ankle cuff, so Sam snaps some quick photos and heads upstairs to feel up the library. This leaves Dean in the basement with Bones, some good old-fashioned power tools, and Bones’s ex-suitor’s gross sense of humor.

“You know I can understand you just fine when you’re talking normally,” Dean says. “You’re just reciting some prehistoric shit that idiots say to girls to get a pity-laugh, hoping it leads to a pity-fuck.”

“What’s a pity-fuck?” Bones asks, all mildewy innocence. Dean’s pretty sure the grunge in his eyeball sockets is dried eyeball.

“Pretty much what it says on the tin, my guy,” Dean answers, and reaches for the acetylene torch.

“Enochian,” Sam says, when Dean surfaces for another sandwich and possibly a beer. He’s really disappointed about the torch.

“Gesundheit?” Dean replies, around a mouthful of bologna. Like everything else here, the kitchen is pretty schwa, although the inside of the fridge required three exorcisms and half a jug of bleach.

Sam paws around the smelly old book in a way that makes Dean feel sorry for the girls Sam dated in high school. “The symbols on the cuff. I think they’re Enochian. It’s a fake celestial language made up by some sixteenth century con artists.”

Dean coughs up a bit of Wonder Bread. “I respect the hustle, but what’s it doing on an ankle cuff in a dungeon younger than Mickey Mouse?”

Sam frowns. “Well, it could be for show. But just because some nutbars made it up doesn’t mean it’s totally powerless. Maybe it does have some kind of…heavenly mojo.”

“Liwl probbem,” Dean observes, finishing off his sandwich. “Def nuh heggen.”

“Huh?”

Dean takes a swallow of beer. “I said: there’s no heaven.”

Sam shrugs. “We didn’t think there was a Purgatory, either.”

“Okay, but if we find out angels are real,” Dean snorts, “then Bones can fuck me in the ass.”

Sam reports his findings to Bones, who sits placidly on the back of his pelvis, carpals splayed out on his kneecaps. What’s even holding him together? Dean can see what’s left of his ligaments, but they look like petrified gas station jerky.

“Do you know what they mean?” Sam asks him, pointing at the sigils.

Bones’s jaw creaks open a little, then closes again, and then he shakes his skull (something rattles inside.) Finally he makes a little frustrated noise and replies – “Baby, are you a book? Because I’d like to check you out.”

“Hey!” says Dean. “Keep it in your pants, man, I’m right here.”

Sam squints. “I think…Dean, I think he’s trying to tell us something, but the spell on him means he can’t say it directly.”

Bones clenches his fists, releases them, clenches them again.

“Yeah. Keep him talking. Let’s see how close he can get.”

Clack clack clack.

“Uh,” Dean says, rubbing the back of his neck. “Okay. Do I need to, like. Give you some kinda opening?” he asks Bones.

“Sweetheart, I’d like nothing better,” Bones answers, then clacks his knuckles on his brow with exasperation.

“Sorry, Christ. Hit me with your best shot, buddy. Dealer’s choice.”

Bones clears his…ghost throat? and tries: “Tell me, Dean…did it hurt?”

Dean blinks. “When I…fell from heaven?”

Sam claps his hands. “Fucking knew it. It is Enochian, and it does have something to do with this. I think he wants me to check the library for another book. Maybe there’s one misshelved or something that I can actually use to translate. Or I can Google around, maybe there’s a subreddit.”

Dean’s pretty sure Bones has never heard of a Google or a subreddit (for that matter, does Dean actually know what a subreddit is?), but it seems like there’s a glimmer of hope deep in those scum-holes.

Sam gets translations for a few of the words – “obedience” and something he’s fifty percent sure means “millstone” – but the rest is still gobbledygook, and he hasn’t come down with another update in hours. The dungeon is pretty roomy, but it’s not like there’s a foosball table or a cable TV pickup down there, so Dean and Bones wind up lying on the cold-ass ground, staring up into the dark reaches of the ceiling together and, like. Chatting.

Occasionally Bones goes quiet and Dean glances over at him. He really could just be a totally normal, completely dead dungeon skeleton. A good power washing and the right mounting hardware and he’d be ready for a high school biology classroom.

“So if these runes are a celestial thing, does that mean you’re some kinda demonic...thing?” Dean asks. “Cause I gotta say, you’re a much less of a douche than the demons I’ve met.” He snorts. “I know you probably can’t say.”

Bones sighs (how? With what lungs?). “The last person who tried to free me was a demon.” He shifts a little, maybe surprised that he can say this out loud. “It had been so long since somebody had spoken to me…I’m afraid I came close to actually enjoying his company. But he was no better than his kind usually are.”

“Don’t suppose you caught his name? Maybe Sam or me killed him for you already.”

“He called himself—no, I can’t say it.” He makes a sound resembling a harumph.

Then his skull creaks over to look at Dean. “Does your name start with ‘C’?” he says, very deliberately.

Dean is momentarily puzzled, but he works it out by the time Bones wincingly adds “…because I’ve got a D that wants to come behind you.”

There aren’t too many demons under the “C” tab in Dean’s blood-stained mental rolodex, and when he says the name out loud, Bones makes a sound like an entire set of dominos being thrown down a spiral staircase.

Crowley is pretty pissed, which is fun.

It’s nice that the dungeon floor already has a perfect trap on the floor; they don’t even have to hit up Ace Hardware for paint. A damp shop cloth and a little nail polish (Wet ’n Wild in “Red Red,” don’t leave home without it) brings it right up to working order.

“Why does it smell like a nail salon fucked a bloody wine cellar?” Crowley says, after he’s settled down a bit. He manifested right in the creepy torture chair (in the shackles, even! What service!) and he made some escape attempts followed by angry noises about rust stains. Now he’s recovered his dignity and has kicked back a bit, legs crossed, fingers steepled, oozing maximum levels of 2 cool 4 school.

“How do you know what a nail salon smells like?” Dean retorts.

“I get a monthly mani-pedi. There’s no shame in a little self-care, boys.” Crowley’s eyes trickle down to their feet. “Imagine what fungal horrors those work boots must conceal.” Then he squints, and looks up, finally taking in the whole room. “Could swear I’ve been here before. Little upscale for you, isn’t it? Did we splurge for a vacation rental?”

“Crowley, why don’t we roleplay Titanic?” Bones growls from the wall behind him, and Crowley’s face goes slack. “I’ll be the iceberg, and you can go down.”

Crowley swallows and slowly twists back, as far as the shackles let him. “Feathers, is that you? Well, as I live and breathe.”

“You do neither,” says Bones, with so much gravelly contempt that Dean suppresses a little shiver.

“Oh, I still breathe now and then, when the mood takes me. I’m a sentimentalist.” Crowley cranes his neck a little harder and squints into the dim. “Goodness, you’ve dropped some weight since we last spoke, haven’t you. Finally let go of all that pesky soft tissue?”

Bones tilts forward and kind of clatters onto hands and knees, then tipsily begins to rise up to standing. Dean’s a little concerned he’s gonna topple right over and they’re gonna spend the next two hours collecting him in a basket, but when he moves to help out, Bones waves him off. After a couple false starts he makes it up onto his feet bones and then shuffles out to the end of his chain, right under one of the overhead lights. He’s still a good couple feet off from Crowley, but Crowley looks like he wouldn’t mind a few extra acres.

Bones sways a little bit, just enough for Crowley to wince. “You didn’t come back.”

“I got busy.”

Sam shifts impatiently. “What is he?” he snaps, gesturing at Bones.

“Exceedingly dull,” Crowley says. “I should’ve guessed you were friends.”

Dean uncorks a fresh bottle of holy water.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” Crowley amends, quickly. “And even if you did, you wouldn’t know what to do with him. It’d be like giving a laptop to a pair of howler monkeys.”

Dean puts his thumb over the mouth of the water bottle and holds it over Crowley’s head. “Try me.”

Crowley scoffs, rolls his eyes. “It doesn’t matter what he is, since he’s useless as long as he’s chained up. And I wouldn’t have left him down here if I had a single clue how to smuggle him out. I haven’t even been in here since the Bay of Pigs; I’d worked a loophole in one of the defense spells here that let me in. When it broke down, I lost my exploit. Wasn’t worth the bother after that.”

Dean slides his thumb a millimeter north of a perfect seal, and a fat drop of water busts its ass open on Crowley’s forehead and sends up a thin line of steam. “Good thing I’ve got a limitless supply of bother,” Dean notes. “Sam, we still got those syringes in the trunk?”

Crowley snarls. “Go ahead and melt me like the cartoon shoe in Roger Rabbit, it’s not going magically make me come up with a solution.”

Bones grunts and rattles his leg chain. “Do you speak Spanish, Crowley? Because you look like the Juan for me.”

“Did I teach you that one? You absolute xylophone.” Crowley glances back at Dean. “Do your worst, Squirrel, I deserve it.”

Sam frowns. “He uses the lines to get around the spell’s speech restrictions. This is something about speaking languages…were you able translate the Enochian symbols on his cuff?”

Crowley blinks. “What symbols?”

After a whole lot of faffing around with mirrors and terrible cellphone photography, they confirm that Crowley can’t see the symbols at all.

“More demon-proofing. Clever little buggers, those Men of Letters,” Crowley sighs. “A real shame they were peeled and eaten like bananas.”

Finally Sam just hunkers down with a pencil and pad to transcribe the entire ankle cuff, and Dean awkwardly holds up Bones’s ankle, like he’s being sized for a glass slipper. When they shove the results in Crowley’s face, Dean watches his eyes dart along the words.

“Well, it’s your lucky day, boys. Along with the usual wankery, there are instructions on how to release the cuff. I can translate it,” he finally says, with an unusually low inflection of bullshit, “but I’ll thank you to release me, first.”

Dean is flummoxed. “What, you’re not gonna haggle for a cut of the profits or anything?”

“Activating the release mechanism will free him completely, and restore his…restore him. I’d rather be at a safe distance.” He glances back at Bones, looming in the shadows. “A continent or three should do the trick.”

“If it doesn’t work–“

“I’d be more worried about what happens if it does,” Crowley sighs. “But feel free to summon me back for tea and sympathy. Here, I’ll even give you my number. But please, no personal photography. I pity you enough as it is.”

Crowley finally smokes out, and Dean has a beer to celebrate while Sam looks over the list of what they need and Bones clatters his fingertips like castanets. The ingredients are (as always) larded with shit that’s exotic and expensive; Sam is looking crestfallen at some of the items. “I’ve heard of all of this, but I’ve only seen maybe half of it for sale anywhere.”

“Baby, are you a yard sale? Because you’ve got some serious junk in that trunk,” Bones monotones. He’s back to lying on the floor.

At least it’s getting easier to translate this shit. “They’ve got all the ingredients here somewhere,” Dean says. Sam looks skeptical. “C’mon, Sam, no way these dudes would use a lock when they didn’t have the key.”

The ensuing scavenger hunt takes a few pints of elbow grease, but at least by the end they’re both familiar with the Bunker’s floor plan, document filing system, and inventory records. They find virtually everything in-house, though they do end up driving to the nearest farm stand for some hen’s eggs and rosemary (and heirloom tomatoes, because they look bomb).

Dean christens – or maybe exorcises – the kitchen range with some red meat, and they fuel up with burgers before taking the plunge. Dean’s still licking the ketchup off his fingers when Bones pipes up one last time. “Can I ask you something?” he says.

Dean and Sam brace for impact.

Bones sighs. “That’s not the start of a pickup line. I genuinely have a question.”

“Shoot.”

“Why are you so intent on freeing me? You could have just left me down here. I’m not a threat this way. You only have Crowley’s word that you might profit - or suffer - from my release.”

Sam gives Dean a look; it’s the look that says I sure hope you have an answer, because I think this entire thing has been dumb as shit and half as necessary. It’s a look Sam uses pretty regularly.

“Uh. It’s the right thing to do? As far as I can tell, you haven’t hurt anybody or done anything else to deserve being down here. We went through all those records upstairs, and there’s no note that says ‘by the way, that skeleton downstairs eats babies for breakfast.’ This place is cool, but the dudes who built it were obviously shady as fuck.”

“I see.” Bones sounds a little disappointed.

Sam fake-coughs into his hand, and Dean sets down his paper napkin. “Also, you seem cool. Like, you’re easy to hang out with. Other than the stinky one-liners, and we’re gonna wean you off of those.”

Bones straightens himself out a little. “Thank you, Dean. You know, on a scale of one to ten, I’d rate you a nine.”

“Okay, okay. Why not a ten?”

Bones sets his chin on his knuckle bones with a tidy little clack. “Because I’m the one you’re missing.”

Dean groans, but he thinks the guy might be smiling, somewhere behind that skeletal grin.

By hour two, Sam’s pretty tuckered out from pulverizing a billion and three mummified dove livers while reciting nonsense syllables, and Dean’s right arm is about to fall off from holding up this giant silver swizzle stick that’s either a really weird short sword or a decorative javelin, but Bones has never looked perkier. He’s lying on a nice white bedsheet and looking fresh as a recently exhumed daisy.

“Okay,” Sam rasps. “Light the candle and we should be good to go. Any last words, Bones?”

“Are either of you religious?” He crosses his arm bones over each other.

“Fuck no,” Dean answers, before Sam gets a chance to launch into it.

Bones shakes his skull fondly. “You should reconsider. Because you’re the answer to my prayers.”

Dean makes a gagging noise and lights the candle.

What happens next (well, after the cuff pops open) is some of the freakiest shit that Dean has ever seen, and his Freaky CV is pretty fucking impressive, thanks. Bones tells them to avert their eyes, “just in case”, but he takes a peek between his fingers anyway, because he’s an idiot.

For a second Bones is just lying there, and Dean has a second of real disappointment that maybe he’s Moved On Past The Veil or something, but then he starts…foaming. It starts out kind of uniform and colorless, but then it really picks up speed and volume and starts to separate into swaths of distinct and horrible colors and textures. He closes his eyes again for a second to give his stomach a chance to reboot, and when he looks again the foam is gone, and instead there’s a whole lot of angry jelly trying to form into organs.

Just as the jelly is really getting its shit together and looking more like lungs and intestines and stuff, the heart-jelly pulses once and sends out a fistful of big squishy vines…veins? and a fat white worm of nerve scrambles down the spinal column and starts putting out franchises. This is followed by some disturbingly tasty-looking red sheets of muscle that swiftly sheathe over all the whole scene, and then the muscles start sweating out fat and cartilage and this is the point where Dean decides that looking away is actually definitely one hundred percent for the best. Even then, the sounds are tough to handle.

Kinda wild: he’s seen people taken apart, but watching one get put back together is somehow gnarlier. Well, if this guy is even a person. It’s a human skeleton, sure, but god knows even Mickey Rourke has one under there.

Finally everything seems to have quieted down.

“How you doin’ over there, Bones?” Dean asks, and dares to take a peek.

Bones is crouched down in front of them, fists balled up in the bedsheets (it’s a relief that the bedsheets didn’t get accidentally sucked into the muscle layer or something, like one of those surgeons who leaves a sponge behind). Dean sees white guy skin and some dark messy hair and gets the gist of a decent build.

The face slowly cranes upwards, and Dean is really truly ready for anything here; tusks, fangs, Klingon forehead ridges, gingivitis. Instead he gets a faceful of hot math teacher. Bones’s eyes are still closed, but he’s frowning like he’s mentally reviewing his strategy to explain the quadratic equation to a roomful of horny teens.

He slowly rises to standing (yikes! Naked! Dean is a Moderately Bad Man, so he glances, but just long enough to register “nice), uncurling slowly and carefully.

Then he’s all the way up. Bones squares his shoulders and straightens the last kink in his spine, and the frown resolves. Dean’s about to say something, when his eyes snap open, and this cold white light absolutely blasts out of them, and fuck, Crowley wasn’t kidding: this guy is definitely A Thing. The whole room flattens and distorts in the light. Shadows race up the walls like they’re looking for a way out, then snap together into the shape of enormous ragged wings, stretching thirty feet higher than the actual ceiling clearance.

Then the light dies down; the wings fade into regular-grade shadows. Instead of a terrifying unearthly avatar of Oh Shit, Dean’s looking at a buck naked thirty-something math teacher. Who happens to be an unearthly avatar of Oh Shit. And has nice eyes.

“My name is Castiel, angel of the Lord, Seraph of the First Shield,” the avatar says, in a piss-shakingly resonant version of Bones’s voice.

Then: “Do you speak English, Dean?”

“Yes?” Dean fumbles.

“So do I,” says Castiel, and smiles.

Then he makes finger-guns.

Castiel sticks around for a grand total of five minutes before he’s suddenly gone again, because angels are (a) real and they can (b) teleport? at (c) any moment because (d) fuck you, then he reappears six hours later (clothed) standing over Dean’s bed, having apparently forgotten that humans like to sleep; this time Dean does shoot him, but luckily he doesn’t seem to take it personally.

“I located Crowley,” Bo- Castiel says. The silver sword-javelin thing is sitting on the kitchen counter in front of him; apparently it’s an Angel Blade and it lives in Castiel’s coat sleeve and can vaporize demons. It doesn’t look like it has any Crowley on it, but maybe it’s self-cleaning.

“Did you kill him?” Dean asks, now that he’s semi-coherent and wrapped around a cup of coffee in the kitchen.

“Not this time,” Cas answers. “He did help, after all.”

“Sure,” says Dean.

“You don’t need to let me fuck you in the ass, either,” Castiel says, and Dean honks some coffee up the back of his nose.

“Oh,” he gasps. “Okay. Cool. Thanks. Didn’t realize you could hear that convo all the way down there.”

“Angels have excellent hearing. Mine wasn’t impacted by the spell.”

Dean can think of at least three very private moments Castiel almost definitely could hear every instant of, and longs for death. Or maybe not, since apparently this guy lives in Heaven and could hear him there, too. “Great. Good to know. Noted.”

“But…” Castiel looks wistful.

“What?” Dean nudges him. Dean Winchester: angel nudger.

Castiel frowns. “If I said…” he stops himself. “This is…what I want to say is very irregular, at least between angels and humans.”

“Jesus christ on a goddamn pogo stick, man. It’s three in the morning, some of us have a circadian rhythm and a limited lifespan. Say whatever it is you gotta say.”

Castiel looks up and drowns Dean in his swimming pool eyes, which Dean has learned belong to a radio ad salesman in Illinois, who Castiel possessed a few years back before jumping several decades into the past to run some errands and getting rope-a-doped by the Men of Letters and then warehoused in their basement; after they all spontaneously bought the farm, he just slowly ran out of the power reserves needed to keep his vessel from turning to mush and hey presto, talking skeleton.

Classic story, really.

“If I said you had a beautiful body, Dean,” Castiel says, solemnly, “Would you hold it against m-“

Dean doesn’t let him finish. {AO3 version}

#spn fanfic #destiel #deancas #profoundnet #prompt fic

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therobinsonwayoflife · 4 years ago

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what are some of your favourite headcanons about the robinsons? i know you have a tag but what are ur personal favourites :)

Wait are you asking me for my favourites of my own headcanons? My ego is so honoured...! 😳 jk but thank you This ask ia so cute

So, faves of my own home-grown HCs—first off there is a Greatest Hits post I made for New Year’s but there are some recent faves that didn’t make it to that list, particularly bc my newer headcanons are just way weirder than they used to be. Ordered from cute to scandalous to incomprehensible horrors beyond your imagination.

Fran & Bud swap records like Pokémon cards

Laszlo drew on the walls as a kid and the Robinsons decided to frame them

Franny composed RI’s elevator music

The Robinson house has no corners.

At parties, Neil and Fran lie about how they met

Laszlo punched the Monet in 2015

Among other things, Bud calls Cornelius “blondie”

Petunia takes the adults gambling at DisneyLand

With the help of his friends at the International Snowfort Building Competition, Cornelius handmakes custom snowflakes. No one can tell the difference.

No one really knows anything about Laszlo's love life except one February fourteenth he painted an entire canvas scarlet red and named it "Carlos"

Wilbur is really good at packing bc Cornelius taught him

When Wilbur throws a huge party at the house the family help the teens get home safely and or offer to let them sleep over & serve them morning hangover juice

Fran & Neil’s favourite couple’s activity is chilling on this weird topiary bush to play chess and drink lemonade

Spike worked as a professional pencil sharpener for six years while Dimitri participated in every university study he could find

Art is too buff for most car seats

Franny walks around the mansion barefoot

Petunia BEGGED Neil to use the time machine to stop them from introducing the blue M&M

The frogs use the industrial freezer as a skating rink where they also have a Fargo-esque adventure and hide cash inside the ice cubes

Petunia once ruined a(n) RI business deal when her venus flytrap sneezed on the client

Wilbur’s daughter is severely disillusioned when she learns that instead of being a time travelling hero that defeats evil, Wilbur makes a living by working in an office

Laszlo hand-sculpted lucky charms out of clay that were so accurate, someone ate them

Franny swims w her frogs

Dimitri: mistook another plant for his brother at the airport

Wilbur was conceived in an incubator pod

Billie’s train is connected to a secret underground network beneath the Robinson property.

Lucille concocts the world's most dangerous eggnog. Several millionares have snuck it past the border and the FDA is always trying different ways to get back at her but the Robinson lawyers are too good.

Headcanons by other people that are 👌:

Every now and then Cornelius wears a purple turtleneck and builds tiny robots designed to pick up paper clips and pennies from between the couch cushions by @elioli-art

Cornelius smells like laundry detergent bc he’s so clean by @demyrie

When Wilbur was a baby, Franny called him her tadpole by @eventheslightestrayofsunshine

Wilbur is a video game developper when he’s older by Alyssa @therationaldove

Wilbur takes Franny to the Golden age of jazz to convince her that the time machines are safe by Morgan @dreadfulgentleman

Animals gained voting rights by TheProzacFairy

Cornelius proposes to Franny via toast by BurningBeaker

That is an excellent question is stuck in a paradox loop: Lewis heard it first from Wilbur who heard it first from Cornelius... who heard it first from Wilbur! by @animalluver8153

Human Petunia just isn’t home throughout the movie by Ceili @crimeglitter

Wilbur once broke a time machine prototype by playing around with the wires & never told a soul by Alyssa @therationaldove

Uuuuum whatever this is...

Not even a headcanon, here’s the craziest Word of God factoid about Laszlo I’ve ever seen via @dreadfulgentleman

#mtr #meet the robinsons #disney #wilbur robinson #long post #ref #masterpost #tbtw #hall of fame #greatest hits #ask

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fanfic-corner · 4 years ago

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Under 10,000 Words

16/12/20 - I can never figure out what my favourite length of fic is, but I think it depends on my mood. Sometimes I want a huge, 200,000 word journey, and sometimes I just want a quick drabble. Anyway, here are some fics which are all between 2,000 and 10,000 words, organised by the word count.

Sleep Deprivation by Honey_Honey on AO3. (2,313 words).

Tags: Cute, First Kiss.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: The one where killing monsters leaves Dean without a week of sleep, and Cas has to deal with the consequences.

Notes: This was so fluffy and cute and I can totally imagine Dean overthinking everything while Sam just finds the whole situation hilarious.

That One Time Sam Winchester Googled Something Weird and It Had Pretty Awesome Results by quitepossiblyjanuary on AO3. (2,587 words).

Tags: Romantic Fluff, First Kiss, Stars, Humor, Courtship, Short & Sweet.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: In which Sam Googles something and his curiosity doesn’t kill the cat. Or him. Or anyone. It’s a pretty awesome feeling.

Notes: This was so adorable! Gabe was so sweet, and his mind reading skills made me laugh.

What Can’t Be Seen by destieldrabblesdaily on AO3. (2,639 words).

Tags: Soulmate AU, author!Cas, Strangers to Lovers, First Kiss.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Written for this prompt: Soulmate AU where you first see color after eye contact: Cas is a famous best selling author and he’s promoting his book, so he’s talking to a crowd of people and suddenly his world is in color, and a lot of his fans pretend to be his soulmate. A Cinderella type situation ensues.

Notes: This was really cute and such a sweet and funny idea.

The Tea is Decaf by mnwood on AO3. (3,673 words).

Tags: POV Castiel, Fluff, Sign Language, Castiel in the Bunker, Canon Compliant, Sharing Clothes, Asexual Castiel, Gentle Dean, Non-Explicit Sex, Domestic, Established Relationship.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Based on this text post from thebloggerbloggerfun: “Listen, imagine Eileen sneaking out of Sam’s room at night to go to the bathroom or something and steps out into the hallway in one of Sam’s shirts only to see Cas trying to quietly leave Dean’s room while wearing one of Dean’s shirts and they both just stare at each other awkwardly for a few seconds before trying to muffle quiet laughter and now they have a late night club where they talk about life and gossip about the Winchesters in sign language"And this anon I received: "what if Eileen and Cas discover there are some things Sam and Dean both do in bed because Dean jokingly gave Sam pointers when they were younger and Sam took the advice”.

Notes: This has to be one of my favourite fics of all time, even though the first time I read it I hadn’t even met Eileen yet! I’m still so pissed off that she wasn’t in the finale (unless we’re counting Blurry Wife?).

surely heaven wants for you by cenotaphy on AO3. (3,782 words).

Tags: Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Heaven, Coda, Post-Finale, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Dean, Outdoor Sex.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Cas doesn't come to him. Dean can't really argue with that, given the circumstances. In all the history of balls in courts, he thinks there might never have been a ball as thoroughly in a court as this one is in his. He drives for what feels like a long time but might just be a single sunny afternoon, or maybe years (time's funny here, Bobby had said), just enjoying the music, the shifting landscape outside his window, the hum and creak of the engine. Finally the forest opens up and the road narrows down in a way that he's fairly certain wouldn't typically happen on any kind of earthly interstate, and he glides the car to a halt at the edge of a lake.

Notes: This was so beautiful and such a interesting exploration of Dean’s feelings!

a quick salt and burn by xylodemon on AO3. (4,609 words).

Tags: Episode Related, Cemeteries, Case Fic.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: "Fuck," Dean mutters, wincing as pain throbs in his shoulder and neck. After the ghost chucked him into the hedge, he hit the ground like ton of bricks and clipped an exposed tree root so old it was practically petrified. "So much for a quick salt and burn."

Notes: This is adorable and hilarious, so a double win.

Funny Bone by PallasPerilous on AO3. (4,933 words).

Tags: Fluff and Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Skeletons, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Alternate Universe - No Angels, Canon Divergence, Mild Gore.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: It wasn’t even a particularly creepy skeleton; it was in kind of a “just chillin’” pose on the floor. One ankle was still locked up in a heavy iron cuff, at the end of a short chain leading back to the wall. Snoresville, as dead stuff goes; Dean’s seen worse at Disneyland. It was the skeleton’s comment about Dean’s ass that really livened things up.

Notes: This has to have been one of the funniest fics I have ever read, but oh boy did I feel bad for poor Cas.

Grace by july_19th_club on AO3. (5,164 words).

Tags: Fix-It, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Resurrection, Reciprocated Confession.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: A man dies. What happens next will shock you. [script]

Notes: This was written beautifully, and now I really want to see this filmed! So much better than the ending we got.

(un)conventional by imogenbynight on AO3. (6,100 words).

Tags: Alternate Universe, mechanic!Dean, Writer!Castiel, Conventions, Fluff.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Spec Lit Con--Speckly Con, to it’s regular attendees--is an annual weekend-long event held in Chicago, dedicated to science fiction, fantasy and otherwise speculative literature. This year Dean's favorite author, C.J. Novak, is appearing as a panelist. Naturally, he shells out the cash for an all access pass.

Notes: This was so adorable that I nearly screamed in the corridor outside my computer science lesson. Plus, the writing was absolutely gorgeous! I miss conventions :(

La Vie A Plus by K_K_TiBal on AO3. (6,260 words)

Tags: Punk Castiel, Asexual Castiel, College/Uni AU, Roommates, oh my god they were roommates, College Student Dean, College Student Castiel, Pining, First Kiss, Misunderstandings, Art Student Castiel, Love Confessions, Gabriel is a Little Shit, Tattooed Castiel.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Dean Winchester is hopelessly, head-over-heels in love with his best friend and roommate, Castiel. Castiel - with his blue hair, and his tattoos, and his artwork, and his perfect everything. Dean never stood a chance, really. It only sucks because, as far as Dean can tell, Castiel is definitely not interested. But love, much like art, has a way of being unpredictable. Even if you think you know where you’re going with it.

Notes: The angst is strong in this one! Again, I feel like many aces have had this conversation or that fear that people (allos, especially) may not want to be with them.

Event Horizon by Winglesss on AO3. (6,442 words).

Tags: Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal Dean, Depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Past Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Texting, Sharing a Bed, Happy Ending, Veteran Dean, Doctor Dean, Writer Castiel, Strangers.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Castiel couldn't have helped his sister. That's why being offered a chance to help somebody else dealing with suicidal thoughts he took it without hesitation. When he gets the first text from someone who needs his help, nothing goes as he expected.

Notes: I don’t know if that kind of suicide prevention scheme exists, but this fic is very sweet.

I Think That’s Mine by palominopup on AO3. (6,804 words).

Tags: Fluff, AU, Reporter!Dean, Writer!Cas.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: A mix up at the Atlanta Airport places Dean Winchester's laptop in someone else's possession. A series of calls and texts bring two men together.

Notes: This was so cute, Cas was so sweet, and Dean was an icon.

Nothing Equals the Splendor by RurouniHime on AO3. (7,865 words).

Tags: Fix-It, Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief, Explicit Sexual Content, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Declarations of Love, Canon Compliant, Minor Injuries.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Maybe it’s the cynic in him. The hunter, always under the surface of any quietude he ever found. Or maybe it’s just that he has always had trouble with blind faith. But after a while (a blink? A decade? A century?), Dean raises his eyebrows, looks around, and says—

“Uh. No.”

It’s so close. Just so slightly imperfect. And maybe, he analyzes, maybe that’s the final knell of this bell called contentment. Dean’s experience with happiness has always been that last rise in the road, right before it turns. Right before fate comes barreling around the corner head on. He turns in his spot on the bridge, and suddenly Sam is like a cellophane film through which he can see the light streaming, and the taste of cheap beer on his tongue is much, much older a memory than it should be.

“Oh, you’re good,” he says, and means it.

Notes: What a great idea, and written so well! I always thought the show could have done so much more with djinns, but never mind.

In the House of the Rising Bun by imissmaeberry on AO3. (9,046 words).

Tags: Bakery and Coffee Shop, Baker Dean, Barista Sam, College Campus, Poet Castiel, Mutual Pining, Daddy Issues, Background Sam/Jess, Past Balthazar/Castiel.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Dean Winchester only has three rules concerning the cafe he and his brother Sam own, “House of the Rising Bun”.

1. Any and all opportunities to make a pun will be taken. 2. Free regular coffee with your student ID (If you want some of that fancy nonsense you gotta pay, sorry kids). 3. Anyone and everyone is always welcome.

Between Dean running the shop full-time and Sam helping out whenever he isn’t in class, there really isn’t a whole lot of time for romance for either of them. But that all changes when they gain a new regular - some writer from London - who may or may not have the bluest eyes Dean’s ever seen.

Notes: First of all, the puns were amazing and I am willing to fight people on that. Secondly, that was so sweet and funny I am afraid I might have to disappear under mysterious circumstances and open my own cafe…

I hope you enjoy these! I haven’t read any new fics for this list and even then there were way too many to put on one list, so expect a sequel at some point in the future!

#fic recs #destiel #sabriel #saileen #fanfics #supernatural #spn #spnfamily #10000 words #2000-10000

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copperbadge · 5 years ago

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alltangledupinblue replied to your photo “I got a new bike helmet which actually has a clip to hold a set of...”

Oh hey, I've got the same helmet it's great! *firstbump*

I like it a lot. I didn’t know it had a little size-adjusting wheelydo and I love that, it’s fun to tighten it on my head :D

annechen-melo replied to your post “Sam, have you ever actually gone out in public in your Mysterious...”

You know, if it weren't for the steampunk goggles being iconic to The Fistbump mysteriousness, I'd suggest the wraparound sunglasses that fit over glasses for summer.

It’s not a bad idea! The Fistbump changes with the seasons after all.

ariadnespyns replied to your photo “I got a new bike helmet which actually has a clip to hold a set of...”

Does every City have a flag, or only Chicago? I have seen the flag of Chicago many times, despite not living all that close, but never one for another city

Many cities do, but few are as beloved or iconic as Chicago. There’s a great TEDtalk on flags by Roman Mars that goes into why so many city flags aren’t very popular.

mymyriadmusings replied to your photo “I got a new bike helmet which actually has a clip to hold a set of...”

Where did you get those goggles?

theonceandfuturecatlady replied to your photo “I got a new bike helmet which actually has a clip to hold a set of...”

@copperbadge I need to know where you got those goggles. For reasons.

Funnily enough, I bought those goggles at Disneyland. They were a souvenir from California Adventure. That said, they’re not Disney-specific; they’re just costume goggles. They’re not made anymore apparently because the last place I found them for sale is sold out and doesn’t expect any more, but googling “steampunk green goggles” or “steampunk aviator goggles” should get you something similar. They do have them here, but I don’t know if that shop is legit.

#alltangledupinblue #reply all #annechen-melo #theonceandfuturecatlady #ariadnespyns #mymyriadmusings

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photolover82 · 4 years ago

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The Masked Singer Season 4 Episode 1: Group A Baby, Premiere Time! Guesses & Commentary

Hello my fellow Masked Singer peeps!! It’s that time, I’ve been waiting for this for so long and I can’t wait for this season, it’s looking super promising I’m so excited! So I am going to try to do these every Friday (since I watch The Masked Singer on Hulu the day after it comes out, which is Thursdays)... so stay tuned. This season, there have been 2 huge changes, the lack of audience (they were digitally edited in which I am not a big fan of) and the Golden Ear Trophy (where the judges put their first impression guesses and the judge(s) who got them correct get a point so we’re going to be talking about that too... I’m gonna call the segment Golden Ear Time every time someone gets eliminated)... alright so here we have Group A:

First and foremost we have the first eliminated contestant of the season who was:

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

The Dragon

Ok, so I kinda saw this coming (both who it was & that he was going to get eliminated), I’m kind of bummed out about it being so soon but everybody was so great that it was super hard to say that I wanted one to be gone.

Ok let’s first talk about his performance like always (if you haven’t seen my recaps before, 1st welcome! I’m Ana, nice to meet you... 2nd my format starts with the eliminated contestant and first I commentate on their performance, reveal them, and do clues how they match/the judges’ guesses now with the Golden Ear thing and then I do the same for the remaining contestants, the clues & commentary): I am not gonna lie, I enjoyed the dragon even though he was one of my least favorite performances (I am not the biggest rap fan, it’s not my least favorite genre by any means, but it’s just not my cup of tea even though this performance was fun af, like you could tell this was a real rapper... we’ll get to that later tho). He was awesome, it is a shame he went home so soon ngl.

Anyways, let’s look at who the Dragon was revealed to be, shall we? Ahh it’s good to be back typing that: 😄

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

Busta Rhymes!!!!

So, I’m kind of shook and proud of myself because I legit heard a sneak peak of like 20 seconds of him rapping and I got it instantly even though I only know Busta Rhymes in passing by songs he’s featured in with other artists. Ok, let’s look at the clues, shall we?

Clues:

“Dressing up in outrageous costumes isn’t new to me”= known for crazy costumes

A lot of gold= gold records

Weights= has a love of weightlifting

Now it’s time for *fanfare* Golden Ear Trophy Time (and also a little bit of making fun of the judges... aka only Ken this time because this is kind of ridiculous)

Nichole & Robin each got 1 point with their guess of Busta Rhymes... yay!! They got it! 🥳

Ken: this wasn’t his 1st impression guess but his final guess legit makes me want to roast the crap out of him... Michael Phelps (like look at that performance and don’t tell me that you think that guess is actually a good one... like not even close 🤨)

Alright, now that that’s out of the way, let’s now talk about the remaining 4 contestants:

1. The Sun

Performance: She was amazing, like one of my favorites from this episode. Her rendition of Because I Love You by Lizzo was gorgeous, she has a beautiful voice and she’s such a star man, I really do believe that she will go very far.

As for my guess, I really do have believe it is singer songwriter...

LEANN RIMES

I think this because of the following clues:

Mickey Mouse shape= Disney= LeAnn Rimes sang multiple times for Disney, especially the song that appears during the fireworks show at Disneyland and had a Disney Channel special back in the day.

Fell into a deep depression= was sought into treatment in 2012 and is very open about her mental health going down after being a child star

Judges’ Guesses

Jenny: Demi Lovato (not a bad guess, a lot of people agreed with this... I just don’t feel like the tone matches up)

Ken: Madonna (say what now? That doesn’t even sound close to Madonna, but whatever Ken is Ken... what else is to expect?)

2. Popcorn

Performance: She was great, I can tell she is a legendary singer. I had high expectations because this is like my favorite costume of the whole season, and I was a little bit let down not gonna lie. She sang “What about us” by Pink and I didn’t really love the song choice if I’m honest. Hopefully, she’ll do better, since I really want her to advance really far.

As for my guess, I am not 100% sure, but my closest guess is legendary singer...

TINA TURNER

I think this because of the following clues:

Mickey Mouse shape= Disney= LeAnn Rimes sang multiple times for Disney, especially the song that appears during the fireworks show at Disneyland and had a Disney Channel special back in the day.

Built a career around love= idk about this

Proud Merry Go Round= ik too obvious but I really can’t think of anyone else especially due to the voice

Judges’ Guesses

Jenny: Tina Turner (my guess exactly... I am still not 100% sure)

Nicole: Mary J. Blige (that’s pretty good but I’m not sure)

Ken: Carole Baskin (wtf Ken? Please Masked Singer never have her on this show, I’ve had enough with her on DWTS)

3. Giraffe

Performance: He was great and it was fun to watch, but I feel like he could do better. If it's who I think it is, I know he could do better than that first performance of Let’s Get it Started by The Black Eyed Peas.

As for my guess, I have a feeling it could be Broadway legend, Hamilton superstar...

DAVEED DIGGS?

I honestly don’t know about it based on the clues:

He says music is in his blood

Was the butt of jokes but now he’s like super successful = this one sounds kind of probable but the clues are too general

Judges’ Guesses

Robin: Vanilla Ice (I also heard this a lot online... maybe but the clues make no sense with Vanilla Ice)

Jenny: Travis Barker (maybe... not a bad guess)

4. Snow Owls

Performance: Oh my god the first pair ever, how fun! I hope they keep doing this more in future seasons! They were literally my favorite of the night! Their rendition of “Say Something” was so stunning, I was shocked.

As for my guess, I really do have believe it is sibling duo...

JULIANNE & DEREK HOUGH

I think this because of the following clues:

Family reunion, haven’t done anything together in a while= they used to work together a lot and now they have been pretty separate with her doing her singing stuff and him on World of Dance and Dancing With The Stars (if he’s on this too, damn he’s on all the channels haha)

Christmas clues= they just did a Christmas show together in 2019 and came out with christmas music

He’s a prankster= Derek really is one, just look at his TikTok haha

Also they sang this exact song together in one of their tours back in 2017 and it sounds really similar, here’s the clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhC9dkmliTM

Judges’ Guesses

Jenny & Nicole: Donny & Marie Osmond (I mean Donny was already the peacock on season 1, I doubt that he’ll be back)

Ken: Eugene Levy and Catherine O Hara (they’re not really related so idk how it makes sense but not a bad guess.. I genuinely think it has to be a brother and sister duo)

Anyways, that’s all for today woohoo! See you guys next week, omg it’s great to be back! I am so excited for what’s to come, time for a rollercoaster of a season. Bye everybody! 👋🏼

#busta rhymes #dragonmask #the masked singer #the masked singer season 4

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bracas-meas-vescimini · 4 years ago

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Banksy

If you consider yourself to be an art lover and you’re not familiar with Banksy, then shame on you. Banksy is one of the most prominent artists in the 21st century. As a street artist, their work is often illegal, yet it’s wildly popular.

The most interesting thing about Banksy to me is the fact that no one knows who they are. The looming cloud of mystery surrounding this individual is one of the reasons their art is so popular.

Banksy is an incredibly talented individual and often dabbles in politics and other social and domestic issues in his artwork. In 2008, he painted a KKK member being hanged on the side of a gas station in Birmingham, Alabama. The state has a long and dreadful history in regards to the KKK, racism, and segregation. Instead of facing their mistakes, the piece was painted over.

Banksy also is responsible for shutting down Disneyland for a day. This was an installation and not a painting. Banksy planted a life-size inflatable replica of a Guantanamo Bay detainee in the western background of The Big Thunder Mountain Railroad ride.

You can see Banksy installing the piece as it happened in his documentary Exit Through the Gift Shop. This documentary features real clips of street artists and how they work filmed by Thierry Guetta, who is also--debatably--an artist. If you were to watch the documentary, you would then understand my reserves in calling Guetta, who goes by the name Mr. Brainwash, an artist. He does create art, but he created off of other popular pieces. He adds on, changes the filter and color scheme. For me, an artist is someone who creates from nothing, but many other people may see Guetta as an artist. That’s the beauty of having different brains. We have different perspectives and different thoughts, so someone may see Guetta as an artist while I do not. I am by no means trying to bash Mr. Brainwash’s work, as some of it is very creative. In the documentary, you see the Ford-style assembly line he uses to create. Most often than not, he is not creating and someone else is, which is the main reason why I have reserves. Mr. Brainwash should be the name used to incorporate everyone who was involved in the process of creating the work instead of just Guetta. I would highly recommend watching this documentary.

You can find it here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqVXThss1z4) for free on youtube.

Banksy also took on the Catholic Church, which let’s be honest, has a lot of problems. While Catholicism is fundamentally beautiful and a truly fascinating religion, it has been warped into something it is not. Jesus promoted unconditional love and acceptance, something that many older Catholics struggle with today. This is usually seen in the use of the bible against homosexuality.

In 2011, Banksy created a bust of a Catholic priest. The face has been pixelated, leaving the identity of the statue unknown. The removal of the identity of the priest is quite deliberate as it is a stand against the Church’s actions of covering up the identities of the pedophilic and perverted priests accused of child sex abuse.

One of my personal favorites is a graffiti piece in New York. This piece features a rat dressed in businessman attire and holding a briefcase and umbrella. Next to the rat are the words “let them eat crack.” The saying is obviously a spin on Marie-Antoinette’s famous words, “let them eat cake.” The piece points out Wall Street’s cold response to the citizens of a city that is becoming progressively poorer.

So what? What’s the point of Banksy’s works? Why do we need to pay attention to them?

Banksy’s pieces reflect social and political changes and ideals in the world. He depicts current events as they unfold. After George Floyd’s death in 2020, Banksy revealed a new piece through their Instagram account showing their support for the BLM movement. Artists have the remarkable ability to go around censorship. Banksy utilizes this frequently. They’re not worried about pleasing anyone, they want to make a statement, make sure their point gets across. To do this, one has to disregard pleasing everyone, because if you spend your life trying to please everyone, you’ll end up being unable to please yourself and unable to feel truly satisfied with who you’ve become.

Banksy is a significantly influential individual using their talent and creative ideas to represent the world and what exactly is going on in it. By providing a single visual representation for a broad subject that may have many differing ideas, events, and protests under its belt, Banksy is helping people come to better terms with reality as they see the impact some of these things have around the world.

#banksy #art #political art #street art #disneyland #censorship #politics #visual representation

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kathyprior4200 · 5 years ago

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BML Livestream Reaction 6/9/2020

To my lovely H.H. viewers, listeners, readers:

Wow! The livestream today on Ashley's channel was incredible. The fandom raised more than 60,000 dollars for the Black Lives Matter charity. (I was one of the unnoticed ones who donated). I'm just as amazed as the show staff at the sheer generosity and talent of this fandom. There were a lot of hilarious moments and very good improvs as well. (ex. Bosco saying in Alastor's voice: "I'm an unstoppable death machine!" And all the "Oh Ashley," running gags.

Onto theories and clip reveals:

There appear to be at least five episodes for Helluva Boss (maybe) and perhaps for Hazbin Hotel as well. When would episode 12 + come out? 2027? I'll happily wait if I can live and last that long.

The first clip revealed showed Blitzo taking to Loona, him saying "have a treat" and then eating the biscuit. Millie appears to be there with Moxxie, drawing a pentagram symbol on a wall. Perhaps a gateway to the human world?

Blitzo (yells at a shy imp): "You set fire to my fucking office in front of a goddamn client you dipshit, now someone please tell me that hocus pocus book is still intact?"

Loona (holding the Satanic book): "Our only ticket to the living world? Grabbed it."

Blitzo: "That's why you're my favorite, Loony! You get a treat."

Loona: "Ew. Stop."

Blitzo eats a treat with a happy look on his face. An imp in a dress stands in the background. Millie draws a pentagram on the wall.

Blitzo (to Loona) "Oh stop it, I get enough of that from my therapist. Now lets get to it, gang!"

They prepare to enter Earth.

Second clip: We are introduced to Loo-Loo Land, an apple-themed circus/amusement park. Loo-Loo is another term for sh*t or bathrooms, so a fitting name for one in Hell. Loo-Loo is a large creepy apple mascot who appears overly cheerful toward the imps and presumably Octavia, who's not impressed. Stolas then takes Blitzo to the rides. He can be seen in a themed outfit, with an apple on his shirt, sorts, and a balloon in his hand. Lucifer has a bar/land called Loo-Loo Land that the theme park is a bad spinoff of it.

Millie (both wear glasses): (Moxxie) "Come on, it's fun! You've never been here?" Moxxie: "No. Theme parks always disturb me. Especially (shakes) the mascots."

A creepy mascot dressed as a red apple appears behind them. He's a red apple with a missing tooth in a wide grin of teeth and one of the eyes hanging from string.

Loo-Loo (in a southern accent) "Well, hey there!"

Millie and Moxxie scream.

Loo-Loo: "I'm Loo-Loo! Welcome to Loo-Loo land!"

Stolas talks to his daughter Octavia by a dinosaur carousel.

Stolas: "Look, Via, it's Loo-Loo!"

Octavia is not impressed with the childish theme park and the lack of more modern rides and features.

Octavia (British accent): "I have a question."

Loo-Loo: Well ask away, little girlie! (Goofy laugh)"

Octavia: "Is it true that this theme park is really a shameless spin-off of Lucifer's more popular Loo-Loo World?" (Disneyland vs Disneyworld)

Loo-Loo: No."

Octavia: "This place reeks of insecure corporate shame."

Stolas: "Why don't we go check out the rides."

Third clip showed what appears to be a rival company to Immediate Murder Professionals. It's called CHERUB, consisting of flying singing sheep with halos and angel wings. It can be assumed that they come from Heaven. Do they save lives (like the alternate E.L.F. in Heavenuva Boss) or do they grant miracles while scamming people? One things for sure, they are super cute. Hmm...maybe they are part of brainwashed sheep who want to spread Heaven's culture so others can mindlessly follow it? Or maybe just as a way to bring down I.M.P. to prove that they can be the best demon killers around? Blitzo blows up a TV in frustration. Now I.M.P. has to find a way to save their company and stop their rivals.

Based on the song, they save people's lives on Earth! (Guess what Hazbins: I thought of the AU E.L.F. characters before this was cool!)

If there is a rival company in Heaven to I.M.P. in Hell, it can only mean one thing: a (Haven) hotel in Heaven may also exist. (Except it would be used to give angels freedom to cause trouble and sin/to be themselves in defiance to the strict rules.)

The sheep angels save people from a car accident, and lift up a rock from a crushed person. They do the work for free, as one of them denies money. With I.M.P. killing humans and C.H.E.R.U.B. saving people, it brings the world in balance. (Though poor sheep: too many people are dying from Covid 19.) Both of them do their part to influence the living world (strangely enough, the Hazbin Earth humans seem accepting of the random creatures who arrive and then leave.

C.H.E.R.U.B. saves people so they have a chance to go to Heaven. I.M.P. kills people for money so the humans wind up in Hell.

Christ's Heavenly Efficient Revivers Under Bless

Christ's Healing Employees Revive Unlimited Bodies

Creators Host Efficient Revival Under Belief

Creating Happy Earth Routines U Believe

Sheep/faun one female: "Luckily for you..."

Sheep two male: "There is something we can do..."

Both: "We can help you feel alive, so you can save some time!(waste and drive?)" (two sheep stand beside a baby angel and all smile)

"Cause here at C.H.E.R.U.B., we can save your honey butt from dying violently. " C.H.E.R.U.B. (R mark) "We never even ask a fee." "Because good people spread the love, "And we're here for all above. "We do the paperwork for you "And the heavy lifting too." (Female sheep is shown exhausted in a pile of paperwork and later shown lifting a boulder from a man.) Both sheep witness a dying man from a car accident and wipe the scene away. "So sit back and let us bless a soul... for you." (all three sing). "Oh we, are the C.H..."

Blitzo blows up the TV in anger.

Random names: The cherub is Blitzo's opposite, Millie and the female sheep and Moxxie and the male sheep.

Blitzo's name is German for lightning. Moxxie means aggressive energy. Millie means mild strength/industrious

Donner= German for thunder Jalen= peace Ardel = industrious

Theories based on the song: 1. Heaven has animal-like Zoophobia characters like Hell 2. C.H.E.R.U.B. saves lives while I.M.P. kills them, thus keeping the world in balance. 3. The cherub leader would be Blitzo's rival. Male sheep vs Moxxie, female sheep vs Millie 4. If I.M.P. had their way, everyone would be dead. If C.H.E.R.U.B. had their way, the earth would be overpopulated. 5. C.H.E.R.U.B. have access to Heaven and Earth. They probably use the Bible to access the living world. 6. C.H.E.R.U.B. would save anyone, even criminals. 7. C.H.E.R.U.B. might have another Loona counterpart. 8. Could I.M.P. and C.H.E.R.U.B. have access to all three realms?

Clip number four: Blitzo and Stolas talk in bed. Stolas goes under the covers and stares seductively at him. He gets the idea to take Blitzo to a Harvest Festival with him as a bodyguard. Blitzo gets suspicious, claiming he won't go if Stolas uses him for sex and his purposes. Soon, Blitzo decides to come along. Stolas then says "sorry about you leaving behind your clients," while Blitzo retorts "Oh fuck my clients!" Best line. Stolas' wife will not be happy when she hears of Stolas and Blitzo's relationship.

Stolas (smokes a cigarette): " It's shocking to it to be seen, Blitzy. My grimoire is incredibly vital. And it isn't supposed to be let out by little imps like yourself." He puts out his cigarette on Blitzo's horns and pinched his cheek. Blitzo sighs and shoves him off. Both appear to be topless.

Stolas: "The Harvest Moon is a very special occasion. It's been my annual duty to celebrate it in the Ring of Wrath. It's a charming little festival with games and music..."

Blitzo: "A wrath ring, huh? My employees are from there. Haven't really been, but it sounds like a place of imprints."

Stolas: "Oh! Why don't you all accompany me to the festival as our special guests?! I'll give you all... (goes under the covers and lies near Blitzo's privates. "...special access." (chuckles)

Blitzo: "Look I told you, we're not bodyguards, alright? It was a one time thing we did and guess what? We did it badly!"

Stolas stands up with the cover over his head.

Stolas: "I'm simply offering a fun work-free day of fun! I feel quite safe at the Harvest Festival. I go every year. Nothing has changed."

Blitzo: "Okay, look if you promise this is not some fuck-fest invite... it does sound like it could be fun. Alright, I'll run it by the others. It sounds like we can work without the book anyway."

Stolas: "I do hope to see you there. I'm sorry your clients will have to wait."

Blitzo: (waves his hand) "Oh fuck my clients!"

We are introduced to new characters: Loo-Loo the creepy apple mascot, the shy imp, owl princess Octavia, "Melodia" the queen, the CHERUB sheep and Robo-Fizz, a robotic jester demon colored black, yellow, white, and light pink-red. It can be assumed that he is red and black and dangerous in his true form. Could Hell's circus be one big conspiracy? Anything is possible in the inferno.

Thank you to all who supported Vivzie's charity and those who continue to show their love for the show and concern for what's going on in the world. Protests, Police, Pandemic, Personal Rights. I donated earlier and I do all I can to keep the fandom together, trying to tapper down the "shipping wars." I don't feel like a hero at all, but I feel good that I'm showing support.

My work is unknown in comparison to all the marvelous Charlastor fanfictions out there:

MuseValentine's "Smiling Man" Angelus19's "Taxidermist"

and many more.

Please don't forget to show support to Hazbin Madness and Radio Hazbin on YouTube. Some people may disagree with me on this, but I think those two voice actors and comic dubbers have better potential than Markapiler and JackdaSepticeye. Yes, the latter two may be famous and well-known, but in my opinion, only HalusaTwin and InSaiyans capture the uncasted Lucifer and Lilith so well. A king and queen of the fandom.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVkr2V_Y-sIzBH01AbPcufw

But don't fret. This fandom has given me ideas that keep skyrocketing through my head and into the world. I've made fanfictions since 2014 and have only made more after being exposed to DBZ and H.H. My long projects seem to take months to update but as long as I'm alive, inspired and have free time, I won't cease doing what I love. Indeed, Viv's words inspired me toward the end of the stream. She said to a person who donated a lot and the viewers to share their creativity with the world, as it can inspire others. Vivziepop is a role model for me, as are so many of my friends/content creators (artist Ady Laine, theorist BlueRaven666, musician Ashboyo, my close friend Sumera Paleema (DBZ artist) and many others.

Very soon, I'll be expanding upon my rewrites/remixes of Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss. Indeed, the future episodes may be closer than we think!

Stay safe out there and treat each other well.

-Kathy Prior 42

#hazbinhotel #helluvaboss #newepisodes #livestream #blacklivesmatter #hunicast #cherub #imp

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