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bitchybutcher · 3 years ago

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Texts I sent a friend the first time I watched The Boys, Season 2:

- Gird your loins

- I’m dying to know more about Black Noir

- Ugh ffs Homelander smarming about on stage at Translucents funeral

- It’s an empty box but I suppose how would people know cause invisible corpse

- WHY IS ANNIE SINGING AT THE INVISIBLE PERVS FUNERAL

- Aw no straight in with Sad Kevin

- Oh ok angry drunk Kevin

- Ugh not these Samaritans Embrace fuckers again

- Oh Annie. Parroting the company line. I hope she’s gonna fuck them all over

- SAD HUGHIE OH NO

- BILLY JOOOOOELLLL

- Aw Kimiko is learning

- Her lil smile

- Oooh Hughie is a liiiiiar

- Meeting on the subway like a couple shifty teenagers

- Oh I forgot they microchipped the supes like dogs

- Oh nooooo young love angst

- Oh no a Sad Kevin incident

- Aaaaand he’s been arrested

- A nice archer bailed him out

- Omfg the fake Butcher re-enactment

- Oh do NOT tell me this crazy bastard is gonna drink the frozen breast milk

- Oh fuck he is

- What the FUCK, HOMELANDER

- This visually impaired ninja seems nice

- That probably means he’s gonna turn out to be a dick

- OH FUCK

- Homelander what the fuuuuuck

- Ok what the shit is happening here in the motel

- WHAT

- What the fuuuuuck

- I – MM is making a dolls house? That’s so cute

- Oh shit smuggled people

- Homelander is nuts with power

- Uhhhh who is Carol and why is she staring at Kevin while he sleeps

- Finally an archer who is honest about how useless they can be once they run out of arrows

- Oh noooo are they gonna try brainwash Kevin with homeopathic stuff? And why do they keep offering him Fresca

- OH FUCK ME NOT ANOTHER RELIGION THING

- Oh Hughie has grown a pair since last season. Good for him

- Where’s Butcherrrrrrrr

- Body gore porn dude is called Gecko that’s too cute a name for him

- Stormfront seems like fun

- She’s gonna be pissing off Homelander so much I like her already

- OH WHAT THE FUCK THE CIA LADYS HEAD EXPLODED

- I like Stan

- Giving Homelander the dressing down he needs

- I know it’s convenient for Toni to wear the padded suit all the time but does Homelander ever wear anything else

- Oh hiiii Becca I still think you’re a bitch and Butcher deserved better

- BUTCHERRRRR YASSSSS

- “Daddy’s home”

- I’m dead. It’s official.

- The fuckin smirk and the voice I’m fuckin dead

- OH NO KEVIN IS TRYING THE CHURCH THING

- Is he making shroom tea

- Why is Patton Oswalt voicing Kevin’s gills this is delightful

- Atrain is awake again that’s not good

- I’m cracking up at Sad Kevin and his singing gills

- Homelander is gone way off the deep end oh boy

- Awwww soft Maeve in the hospital with her girlfriend

- I want to like Becca but I can’t shake the bad feeling

- Homelander is a terrible father

- I mean I know he has no role models to base his parenting on, but yikes

- It’s like if Scar was raising Simba instead of Mufasa

- ….are the gang raiding a party city store

- I love how Frenchie always looks a mix of horrified and amazed whenever Kimiko kills someone

- AWWW IT’S HER BROTHER YAY

- Oh shiiiiiiiit

- Butcher STOP JUST SHOOTING PEOPLE

- You were right this season is weird

- I like Kimiko’s brothers bedazzled denim jacket

- Butcher don’t punch Hughie wtf

- Starting with Hughie listening to the same song again, nice

- Butcher is terrible at apologising it’s so cute

- I’m sorry did Hughie just fall over trying to throw a punch

- The kid’s a dandelion omg

- Why are they on a boat? Did Karl just decide “I like being on boats lemme go on a boat”?

- I see what you mean about Homelander being scary

- He’s completely insane

- Why does this storyboard guys shirt say assbinder

- Chace Crawford is an excessively veiny man

- BLACK NOIR IS CRYING

- Or possibly laughing

- Hard to tell when they have no face

- Annie actually leaked all the compound V stuff good for her

- FRENCHIE KISSED HUGHIE

- Homelander is gonna get this kid killed tryna make him fly

- Honestly the kid looks more like Hughie

- OH MY GOD HE PUSHED HIM OFF THE ROOF

- OH MY SWEET FUCKING JESUS HOMELANDER YOU CAN’T DO THAT

- Oop there’s the laser eyes

- Oh Homelander is back at the Tower and freaking Maeve out

- OH FUCK THE BROTHER IS LOOSE

- Hughie don’t do it

- Oh ok I thought he was gonna jump off the boat

- Kevin and the cult weirdos are up to something

- Hughie no you don’t call the girl you like crying over Billy Joel lyrics

- Oh god boyo you don’t then drop the L word in the same voice message!

- He’s hopeless

- Oh nooooo Kevin is attacking the boat goddammit Kevin

- OH FUCK A WHALE

- For fuck sake Kevin

- Ewwwww

- Butcher what the fuck

- Hughie having a nervous breakdown inside of a whale

- No but why is Karl so hot covered in blood

- Actually I didn’t even need to include the blood part of that question

- Oh boy here we go, the 7 show up to find Sad Kevin crying over spilt whale

- ….why is Stormfront tryna get all up in Homelander’s ass?? I thought she was cool but now she’s all lemme suck that radioactive dick

- OH NO

- Poor Kevin he’s worked so hard to accept his gills and now Homelander has knocked him back down

- Oooo dear Atrain is having a heart attack again this isn’t good

- Oh fuck is Hughie gon get caught

- Oh no it’s Annie it’s ok

- OH FUCK

- ANNIE WHY

- THAT’S YOUR HUGHIE

- OH MAN KIMIKO’S BROTHER IS BADASS YES SQUASH THE SMUG PRICK

- Oh I do NOT like Stormfront holy fuckin shit what’s wrong with this woman

- Poor Kimiko

- What’s with the random woman talking about calling off her wedding?

- Why is Frenchie taking drugs

- FUCK SAKE FRENCHIE DON’T TRY KISS A GIRL WHEN SHE’S GRIEVING

- What the FUCK is thiiiiis

- Is he dreaming or is this the shapeshifter tryna stay alive by granting Homelander some sick wish

- Yikes I feel bad for Doppelganger

- I am fascinated by whoever and whatever the fuck Black Noir is

- MM sees right through everyone’s bullshit

- I feel so bad for Annie

- Ooooo Atrain getting fired

- MM having to put up with Hughie and Annie having a we didn’t start the fire singalong 😂

- Ok who’s in the weird group therapy sesh with these women with strange views on love

- Vending machine date so cute

- Omfg ahahahaha the girl with the Ed Sheeran tattoo

- I really want to like Becca cause she stands up to Homelander but I can’t shake the suspicions about her

- I feel bad for Butcher

- Homelander is a scary good liar

- Oh shit interviewer lady is pulling out the diversity questions

- OH FUCK

- HE’S OUTED MAEVE

- Poor Maeve what the fuck

- Ugh Stormfront

- Shut your racist hole bitch

- Oh shit Kimiko on the warpath

- Frenchie! Kimiko listen to him he’s tryna help

- MM is doing a lotta sharing this episode

- Ohhhh something bad is gonna come out about this Liberty lady they’re looking for oh fuck

- Wait WHAT. STORMFRONT IS LIBERTY

- Stormfront is like 70????

- She’s really good with social media for an old bird

- Ohhh fuck Homelander is pisssssssssed

- Christ you’d know Homelander was an only child

- Bitch you better not be fucking Butcher over

- I FUCKIN KNEW IT

- BECCA YOU RAGING BITCH

- Got her goodbye fuck then called the supercops on him cause he’s a little broken? FUCK BECCA

- Oh no Annie don’t give Hughie the “we can’t do this” talk

- Pick your emo ass up and stop being melodramatic

- All these women are chatting to Kevin?? Why??

- Also this most recent one is super weird

- THEY WERE INTERVIEWING TO BE KEVINS WIFE

- This cult thing is so fuckin weird omfg

- KEVIN GET YOUR SAD BUTT OUT OF THE CULT

- Oh gross not the Doppelganger shit again

- Doppelganger is really bad at flirting

- ….

- WHAT THE SHIT

- Nonononono don’t do the selfcest

- Not even Homelander is that fucked up

- This is super weird

- Why is Homelander crying

- OH SHIT HE KILLED HIM

- Uhhhh are they doing a lesbian scene in a vcu movie

- Christ that was terrible and way too on the nose

- “Strong female lesbians”

- Homelander you himbo fuck what other kind of lesbian do you get

- I feel bad for Ashley

- She just wants to do her job well

- Poor Butcher. His lil heart is broken

- Oh no baby you’re hurt and upset? That’s so sad let me suck your dick about it

- Oh no what’s he gonna do

- BUTCHER WHAT THE SHIT

- I mean it’s really fuckin hot but still

- There’s always a cut on the cheekbone

- “They’ve been moving her around like a Catholic priest” omg HUGHIE

- Aww he called Hughie his canary

- Oh shit are Frenchie and Kimiko missing?

- KEVIN GOT MARRIED

- BILLY HAS AN AUNTIE

- Doggiiiiie

- Awwwww soft Butcher with his dog

- Aaaand now I feel bad for Atrain cause he’s being kicked to the curb

- Oh gross this interview with Kevin and his cult wife

- This is so cringe holy fuck

- Bring back the Patton Oswalt gills

- Why are the gangsters discussing musicals specifically Hamilton

- FUCKING HELL KIMIKO PEELED OFF THAT GUYS FACE

- Ahahaha the boys showed up at Butchers aunties house

- The dog’s name is Terror that’s so cute

- Hahahaha Hughie was holding the fuck pig

- Why is there a sniper on the roof

- Oh shit it’s Black Noir

- Ugh what does Annie’s mom want and why is Stormfront being her friend

- Oh hey it’s dickless

- These two writer dudes are hella irritating

- Poor Elena getting dragged into this shit

- Yes Maeve scheme against his ass

- Heartbroken Butcher is so tired

- He needs a hug

- Hughie give Butcher a hug please

- Why is Kimiko in a church

- Oh hey its Frenchie’s other girlfriend

- Oh ok Kimiko is doing hits that’s fair

- The old man just looking away like “I do not see it”

- Aw no Frenchie don’t break up with Kimiko

- Oh fuck off Cult Kevin

- Stormfront again?????

- Does this bitch ever fuck off

- DID SHE JUST CALL ATRAIN GARBAGE

- Wait why is Homelander giving an unapproved speech

- This is gonna end in someone getting murdered isn’t it

- OH FUCK

- That’s a lot more murder than I expected

- Ohhhh phew ok he was just daydreaming

- Ashley is gonna go bald from stress

- I adore grumpy Butcher

- Omg auntie Judy is a drug dealer I love her

- Ohhhh shit Homelander is having a nervous breakdown

- BOBBY FROM X-MEN????

- Uhhhh why is Homelander talking to Stormfront this can’t be good

- Ooh MM set a trap this gon be good

- BUTCHER HAS A BROTHER???? THAT HUGHIE IS LIKE

- Oop Lenny is dead

- The random explosions as Black Noir trips the traps

- Oh shit Butcher locked the others out to face Black Noir alone

- YES MM

- OH NO MM

- YES HUGHIE

- Oh fuck did he KO Butcher

- Shiiiit shit shit shit

- Yes Butcher save your Hughie

- Oh good they all survived

- For fuck sake Kevin stop with the cult shit

- Maeve please save Kevin from the cult

- Annie why are you sneaking around don’t do it

- There’s a lot of shots of Annie’s bum

- What the fuck is Sage Grove

- Stormfront needs to go choke on a bag of dicks

- Oh fuck no not Homelander again

- Uhhhhhhh

- Stormfront x Homelander was not what I was expecting

- These two have the WEIRDEST relationship

- They’re gonna do some really fucked up supe bdsm shit aren’t they

- Frenchie is Betty White. Fair enough

- Wait what is happening. Why is Annie letting Frenchie at her with a lil saw

- Ohhh the chip

- “This might sting a little” FRENCHIE IT’S A FUCKIN SAW

- Oh fuck that’s a big chip

- Oh look it’s loves psychotic dream

- Well that’s suitably gross

- Aww Kimiko hugging Annie

- Butcher is so menacing I love him

- Kevin tryna be helpful to his buddies he’s so cute

- NO! NO BAD KEVIN! STOP TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE JOIN YOUR CULT

- Kimiko with her brass knuckle

- Oh man, flowers??? Homelander has it BAD

- Annie back the fuck off and leave Butcher alone

- OH SHIT IT’S STORMFRONT AT THE HOSPITAL NOOOO

- What the fuck is going on at this hospital

- OH FUCK BOBBY FROM X-MEN IS LAMPLIGHTER

- Oh shit who got let out

- What does Cindy do

- OH SHIT SHE’S THE HEAD BURSTER

- Aaaaaaand now they’re all out

- Good job, guys

- Ewwwwww acid vomit

- OH NO HUGHIE

- Are you kidding me?? Annie can’t go all Starlight unless there’s a power source in the immediate vicinity??

- What kinda fuckin shite superpower is that

- Aha Butcher agrees with me

- Ok so I’m guessing Homelander went berserk on set

- Uhhhh apparently Cult Lunch is a therapy sesh?

- Atrain get outta there

- This cult leader guy is an arsehole

- Hospital escape lookin like a horror survival game

- Awwww flashbacks to happy times

- Omfg Butcher with the slicked back hair

- Welp, Annie just killed a guy

- Oh shit a baby seat

- Annie is gonna have a bad case of the guilts now

- Oh fuck ok Lamplighter killed the kids by accident

- So Frenchie went to save his friend instead of tailing

- Oh god that’s the penis isn’t it

- Stormfront to the…rescue? Maybe? She’s gonna kill Lamplighter isn’t she

- Oh, no ok she didn’t kill him

- Aw no sad Butcher cause Hughie’s hurt

- Oh nooooo Elena found a video from the plane

- Mallory gon kill sad Lamplighter?

- Stormfront is coming clean to Homelander? Whaaaa

- She was buddies with the Nazis??? SHE WAS MARRIED TO THE VOUGHT FOUNDER GUY

- Oh fuck the head burster is still alive

- A montage of how Stormfront is brainwashing people into racist attacks, nice

- I hate Annie’s mom so much

- Black Noir has just fuckin LAMPED Annie

- Butchers mum called him 😂😂

- Oh shit his dad died

- Why are Hughie and Lamplighter watching knock off supe porn

- Oh boy a racist rally

- Homelander just threw Annie under the bus

- Hughie that’s a really weird pep talk

- And he’s gonna get Lamplighter killed

- BUTCHERS MUM IS ADORABLE

- Oh shit it’s Denethor

- And he’s not dead

- Oh fuck he’s why Lenny died?

- Shit Lenny shot himself

- Butcher was SAS???

- WHERE ARE MY PICS OF BUTCHER IN HIS ARMY UNIFORM

- Ah fuck he’s bringing stepmommy Stormfront to meet the kid

- I have an urge to run my fingers through Butchers beard

- Frenchie and Kimiko are too cute she’s teaching him her sign language

- Is this a cult birthday party?

- Poor Eagle the Archer. He pissed off the cult so he’s gon be excommunicated

- Uhhhh kiddo made a Lego film?

- Good for him

- I know it shouldn’t be sexy when Butcher starts threatening to brutally murder people in his growly voice, I know, but hear me out: sexy growly voice

- 11/10 would let Karl Urban murder me

- Oh FUCK Lamplighter killed himself

- Poor Hughie

- Why do all the bad things happen to him, like having to saw off a dead guy’s hand with a broken whiskey decanter

- Annie versus Black Noir, beat his/her ass girl!

- HUGHIE COME SAVE YOUR ANNIE

- YAY MAEVE

- Black Noir has an almond allergy that’s such an off the wall weakness

- Annie’s favourite chocolate bar saved her life

- Well Maeve did, technically. But still

- Omg Hughie accidentally saving Annie’s mom

- Hughie and Annie are too cute

- Oh shiiiiit Homelander screwed the pooch and showed the kid everything

- HAHA SUCK IT BECCA

- OH SHIT HEADS ARE BURSTING ALL OVER THE PLACE

- Butcher in his lil jumper

- For a non-American, this school safety psa video is supremely weird

- BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURALS CHARACTER IS CALLED BOB

- BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURALS CHARACTER IS JUST BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURAL BUT FANCY

- Annie’s mom critiquing her choice in boyfriends while in mortal danger is gas

- And typical

- The lads going nuts with weapons they’re so happy look at them

- And Butcher in his lil jumper again he looks so comfy

- I would very much like to cuddle him in the soft jumper and give him beard scritches

- Annie ffs let Hughie enjoy his Billy Joel, that’s a good choice

- Ahahaha Maeve just called Hughie a twink

- She’s not wrong

- Oh fuck off Becca

- Uuuuugh OF COURSE Mr Edgar is in with the cult

- Oop Atrain overheard all of that

- Poor Ashley she’s going bald from stress

- The kid is gonna have a meltdown

- Poor Hughie with his mom leaving

- I wonder if she’ll pop up at some point and turn out to be a supe that would be fun

- ATRAIN YOU CAN’T JUST APPEAR IN A CAR LIKE THAT YOU COULDA KILLED SOMEONE

- Hold the phone is Homelander actually being a good dad for a minute

- What the actual fuck is Stormfront on with this white genocide shit

- Ahahaha the news broke

- Uh oh the Vought soldiers got caught by Homelander

- OH SHIT

- MM BETTER BE OK

- Becca fuckin constantly squawking about Ryan is so annoying

- WHY IS KIMIKO LAUGHING

- It’s adorable but still

- Oh FUCK she snapped her neck

- She’ll be fine

- She’s like a wolverine, snapped neck won’t keep her down

- AYYYYY MAEVE

- The lads just watching them kicking the shit out of her like uhhh

- Oh hey Becca did something useful and stabbed the Nazi in the eye

- Huh. The kid melted Stormfront

- Good for him

- AHAHAHA YES HE GOT BECCA TOO

- BYEEEEE FELICIAAAAA

- I mean yeah, heartbroken sad Butcher isn’t nice to see, but Becca sucked

- Aaaand now Homelander covered in blood has arrived to listen to Stormfront babble in German

- This is like in those scenes where it’s like oh who will the dog go to

- Ayyy Atrain got back into the 7

- Aww poor Kevin getting rejected again

- See Kevin this is why we don’t join cults

- Annie thought he was breaking up with her, girl don’t be daft

- Butcher and the kid, not awkward at all

- The one lesson Butcher can teach a kid – “don’t be a cunt”

- Aww happy endings for all the boys

- Aaaaand a “happy ending” for Homelander too by the looks of it

- Oh ffs a corrupt politician in with the cult, what a surprise

- HIS HEAD BURST

- Wait the politician lady is the head burster? I’m so confused

- Confusion may have been aided by it being almost 3am

- Hughie getting a real job, bless him

- Too bad it’s with the head burster

- Oh this is such a good song to end the season with

- Welp, now begins the long wait for season 3, I guess

- Should I sleep or find fic to read

- Body says sleep, heart says fic

- That’s a lie, heart says Butcher

- ….Butcher fics it is

#theboys #theboystv #theboysmemes #theboystextposts #I'm back with more insanity #middle of the night is probably not a good time to be texting but hey ho #I'm still a shameless ho for Billy Butcher #that's so sad let me suck your dick about it #I mean like damn #Karl Urban doesn't mess around when it comes to thirst trapping #I need season 3 like yesterday #amazon please #the boys #season 3 #I need it

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laurawritesandgames · 4 years ago

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Title: The Children We Never Had

Fandom: Beetlejuice (Musical)

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Beetlejuice/Barbara/Adam

Prompt: Hurt/Comfort

Content Warning: References to miscarriages and abortion

Summary: As Delia and Charles prepare to start their family together, Barbara reflects on her chance to have her own children. What once seemed so simple can become much more complicated when you’re a ghost....

Delia and Charles had just completed the first round of IVF treatments. Delia was fanatic about getting all toxins out of the house, so one Saturday the Maitlands, Beetlejuice and Lydia were helping Delia get rid of any plastic containers in the kitchen, to be replaced with glass containers.

“Why is there so much Tupperware?” Delia exclaimed.

“One of Mom’s friends sold Tupperware, and we had a few parties,” Lydia said. “Mom was sick for years. If she’d been able to keep up with the science, I doubt she would’ve kept them. She was nuts about the environment.” Lydia frowned thoughtfully. “Say, Delia, what exactly are your thoughts on vaccines?”

Barbara and Adam shared a look. They knew from the Maitland-Deetz’s biweekly parenting meetings that Delia had anti-vaxxer tendencies. She was, at least, open to a respectful discussion about vaccines. Give Charles a few conversations and she’d probably give in to science and reason—the newlyweds were crazy for each other.

Not that Lydia had any of that context.

“I’m just not convinced vaccines are necessary. I have some very interesting websites I can show you later, Lydia. There’s a lot of doubt about the so-called ‘science’ that Big Pharma doesn’t want you to see.”

Lydia’s lip curled in the disgust.

“Are you an idiot?!” Beetlejuice said. “I lived in a world without vaccines. It was shit!”

“I just don’t know if I’m willing to take that risk,” Delia said, with her polite, argument-deflecting smile. Adam’s parents had been masters at avoiding conflict, so Barbara knew what would happen next. She’d say something light or silly and try to get everyone focused on the kitchen again.

“I should draw a door and bring you to the Netherworld, Delia. Give you a tour of Diaper Town so you can see all the dead babies that’re there from before childhood vaccines were a thing.”

“Diaper Town?” Lydia asked.

“Eh, that’s not the real name—just what we called it. Where the dead babies go. Ugh! I had a shift in Diaper Town for a few decades. It was the worst.”

“I imagine they look like they did when they died,” Lydia said, thoughtfully.

“And they never age! That’s the only reason people hang around babies—because they eventually become not-babies.”

“What about miscarriages? Mom had a few before me. Is there going to be a clump of Deetz cells in the Netherworld?”

Barbara reached out for Adam’s hand and found it within seconds. (He’d been across the room a second ago. He must have teleported.) She clenched it. Hard.

Beetlejuice didn’t notice.

As a ghost, you were always cold. Barbara couldn’t get colder. She also couldn’t swallow to try to wet a dry mouth. Her hands wouldn’t grow cold and prickly with shock. Her emotions were completely disconnected from bodily sensations. She could feel Adam behind her and leaned back into him slightly. Not that he made her feel warmer. Nothing ever would.

If she’d been alive, she might’ve looked like Delia: her face pale as she forced a too-wide smile onto her face. “Let’s all talk about something else, shall we? I don’t want any bad vibes.” Her hand rested on her stomach. During one of their parenting meetings, she’d mentioned she only had a few eggs left. “Not—not right now.”

Lydia glared at her. “Seriously? Hearing about a dead woman’s fertility issues isn’t going to hurt your fetus.”

“The Deetus,” Beetlejuice added. “Deetz fetus. Get it?”

Lydia ignored him. “Bad vibes aren’t a thing!”

“We’ll agree to disagree on that one.” Delia hurried out of the kitchen. “Would anyone mind a smudging ceremony? Just to clear the air and usher in tranquility?”

Lydia followed with a shriek of rage. “’Smudging ceremony’? Are you from an Indigenous tribe, Delia? Because if you’re not, that’s major cultural appropriation!”

“Ooo, cultural appropriation! I know that one!” Beetlejuice said, delighted. When he’d first come back from the Netherworld, the Maitlands had held a few sensitivity seminars for him so he could stop getting into arguments with Lydia. Beetlejuice’s views were a weird mix of surprisingly progressive and incredibly archaic. “It’s a culture, not a costume!” He floated over to Barbara and Adam. “Did I do that right? Do I get a kiss?”

It took a lot of effort to focus on Beetlejuice right now. “Sorry,” Barbara said. “We’re not going to reward you for being a decent person. But thank you for trying.”

Beetlejuice huffed in disappointment.

Adam cleared his throat. Barbara glanced at him. Adam tilted his head slightly at Beetlejuice, raising his eyebrows questioningly. He was asking her for permission to tell Beetlejuice. After a moment’s thought, Barbara nodded. Beetlejuice liked to keep things light, but he was their boyfriend, after all. He should learn a bit more about Barbara and Adam.

“What happens to children who died before they were born?” Adam asked quietly.

Beetlejuice shrugged. “I dunno. I was born dead in one of the original versions of the musical, but it ain’t canon. There aren’t any fetuses floating around the Netherworld. Maybe they go someplace else?” He shrugged, spreading his hands. “I got nothing.”

Out of habit (not because she actually needed to breathe), Barbara sighed in relief. Thank God, was her first thought, despite having a pretty good idea that God didn’t exist. She let of of Adam’s hand, giving him a small smile.

“Why do you wanna know?” Beetlejuice asked.

Barbara shared another look with Adam before saying, “When I was 22, I got pregnant.” She cleared her throat. She hadn’t talked about this in years.

Beetlejuice didn’t like silences. Immediately, he said, “Quit pulling my leg. If you were pregnant, then where’s your—”

It took a few moments, but his eyes finally widened and his jaw dropped. “Oh. Ohhhh. I didn’t think…” His hands began flapping, then running up and down his sleeves and fiddling with his cuffs. “So we’re bringing in some of the movie backstory. Okay. Okay. Sure.”

“The what?” Adam asked.

“Nevermind. So you guys had a miscarriage.”

“An abortion, actually,” Barbara said.

Beetlejuice stopped bobbing faintly, freezing in mid-air. His voice rose in pitch as he said, “I saw the tags on this fic and I assumed you’d be hurt/comforting me! I’m the one with all the issues! Who the hell told you that you guys could have issues?!”

“What now?” Barbara said, forcing her tone to stay even.

“And also, our lives weren’t perfect,” Adam said. “I just want to remind you that both of my parents are dead. So…yeah. When we were alive, we had struggles and challenges like everybody else.”

Beetlejuice began coughing. He stuck his fingers in his mouth, eventually pulling out a foot and tossing it on the ground. (Barbara had learned not to ask whose foot.) “Um. Can I try again?”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Feel free.”

Beetlejuice opened and closed his mouth a few times, but didn’t say anything.

Adam said, “Just so you know, Bug, this isn’t something to share.” Beetlejuice was a compulsive oversharer; they’d learned to explicitly tell him what was appropriate and what wasn’t.

“It’s not because we’re ashamed,” Barbara said quickly. “It’s just our story to tell, that’s all.”

“Right! I can do that.” He focused on something in the middle distance. “Although maybe some people could really examine their need to inject complicated real-world issues into a stupid five-page fic for Beetlelands Week. Not every fandom and every fic can bear that weight! And some characters definitely aren’t designed to deal with shit like this! They’re awesome Deadpool-style badasses and not…not…whatever this needs!”

Barbara loved Beetlejuce, but he was getting on her last nerve. I didn’t think he’d completely disassociate like this. It’s only a goddamn abortion. He didn’t even have to deal with anything! “Well, I’m sorry my and Adam’s history is such an inconvenience for you. I’m going to go find something to do. If you want to talk when you’re not spiraling and doing whatever this is, come find me.”

Barbara teleported to their bedroom, the Deetzes’ former guest room, upstairs, and Adam teleported with her.

Tears wavered in his eyes. Startled, she held him, stroking his back.

“Sorry,” he murmured.

“No, don’t be.”

He sniffled a few times, wiping his tears away. Their ghostly bodies still remembered how to produce tears, and if Beetlejuice was any indication, that memory would stick with them for centuries. He whispered, “We would’ve had a child. If it weren’t for me—”

Adam had always felt needless guilt about mentioning the abortion first. She’d thought he’d gotten over it. “You didn’t force me. We had student loans, the recession had just hit the year before, we couldn’t find work, and most importantly? We weren’t ready. We were barely ready 10 years later, when we had a house and good jobs.”

He smiled sadly, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Sorry. I don’t know where this is coming from.” He stroked her cheek. “I’m here for you. Whatever you need.”

She blinked. “I’m…fine? I’ve been fine for 10 years.” She hadn’t been fine immediately before and after the abortion. There’d been lots of crying, praying, and long conversations, but that had been a long time ago. Gently, she asked, “I thought you were, too. Was I wrong?”

When did we really talk about it except immediately after? Barbara couldn’t recall.

Adam gave her that same distracted smile he used to give her after his parents’ funeral. He was a brave little soldier, marching forward. “You weren’t wrong. I’m fine.”

You didn’t push when you saw that smile. “I think I’m going to read something. Want to join me?”

“I wouldn’t mind working on the model a bit more. Call me if you need anything.”

“I will.” She kissed his cheek, and he went up to the attic to work on his model of Winter River.

She was choosing between Michelle Obama’s biography a polyamory how-to guide when a spider skittered underneath the door. The spider climbed up the wall then began spinning a web in the corner of the room at unnatural speed. Letters appeared in the web.

SORRY

I WAS A BAD BOYFRIEND

It’s a Charlotte’s Web homage, Barbara realized. She’d loved that book as a child. He remembered. “Apology accepted, Beetlejuice.”

He knocked on the door. Opening it revealed him reading from index cards. Delia, who was using her life coach skills to help Beetlejuice adjust to being part of the family, had encouraged him to write down important things.

“I should have reacted a lot better than I did,” Beetlejuice read. “You and Adam trusted me with with a part of your lives, and I should have liz—lizden? Shit, I’m bad at spelling.” He looked up from the cards, rocking back and forth on his feet. “Anyway, thanks for trusting me, baby. Sorry I was being a dick about it. You and Adam having an—an abortion had nothing to do with me or my feelings.”

Beetlejuice could talk about the filthiest sex acts and talk about rotting corpses without flinching, but now he was stumbling. Interesting. “Well, ‘we had an abortion’ might’ve been a lot to throw at you. We could’ve prepared you better.” She nodded him inside, and he floated in. She closed the door behind her. “I imagine abortions weren’t really talked about in your day.”

“Well, we thought ladies’ wombs wandered around their bodies, so…no.”

“Do you have any questions?”

“Um…are you okay?” He fidgeted. “You’re all…y’know, motherly and shit. Are you sad about having an abortion?”

“No. I mean, I don’t love that I needed it. Adam and I were a lot more careful making love after that, believe me. But Adam and my family had my back, and luckily I live in a state where I can access an abortion easily. I also found some forums, and chatting with people who’d also had abortions helped me feel less alone. Honestly, until Lydia brought up miscarriages today, I hadn’t thought about my abortion in years.” Feeling awkward, she chuckled. “Um, really glad I won’t have to deal with a clump of cells following me around in the Netherworld, though.”

She felt a twinge of guilt for not feeling guiltier. Her Good Christian Girl upbringing still reared its head now and then. But I did what was best for my family at the time. That’s all anyone can do. If I’d known Adam and I were going to die 10 years later, we might’ve done things differently, but how could we have known that?

“So, that’s my story. I was supported and very lucky. I’m not sad or guilty or anything.” She frowned. “Adam might be, though. He was strangely upset.” Did I do something wrong? Has he been suffering for years without me noticing? “He’s upstairs working on the model again.”

“I’ll cheer him up!” Beetlejuice said. He clapped his hands together. “It’s hurt/comfort. Time to be goddamn comforted, Adam.”

“I’d give him a few hours.” Adam was a brooder. There was a certain point where he just wouldn’t engage.

Beetlejuice chuckled, patting her smarmily on the head. “Your boring, married-couple rules don’t apply to me, Babs. I’mma shake things up and heal his wounded heart. You can come up and watch, if you want. Watch me win.”

Barbara made herself laugh as she tried to ignore her jealousy. Beetlejuice was just being his usual low-grade dickish self, but what if he was right? Maybe Adam will respond better to Beetlejuice than to me. I didn’t expect Adam to be this sad, after all. What else have I missed? “If you succeed, feel free to come back and give me a play-by-play of your victory.”

Beetlejuice poofed away, and Barbara picked up the how-to guide to polyamory. It couldn’t help to get a refresher.

If Beetlejuice made Adam feel better, then that was a win for everyone. She could ask him how he’d done it and learn from him. The entire point of dating Beetlejuice was to break out of their old patterns and add a little excitement to their afterlives.

Barbara was lying down on their bed, reading the first chapter when Beetlejuice teleported back in.

“You mighta been right,” he grumbled.

“It’s almost like I’ve been dating him since I was 16.”

“Of course you were high school sweethearts. You two are so cliché, I blocked that out.” Beetlejuice floated closer, whining, “Sexy raised his voice to me, Barbara!”

Barbara set the book down. “Oh, I’m sorry, Bug.” That was the Adam equivalent of full-blown shouting. (Adam had shouted at Beetlejuice before, of course, but that was when Beetlejuice had been a villain.)

“Me! The favourite!”

Barbara raised her eyebrows. “Maybe you should read this chapter with me about egalitarian polyamorous relationships—and how terms like ‘favourite’ are toxic.”

Beetlejuice floated away from her. “Mmm, nope, too many things to do.”

She’d expected that. It wasn’t clear when Beetlejuice had died, but it was definitely before therapy and couple’s counselling had become more mainstream. He didn’t have the same ability to talk about and reflect on his and other’s feelings that Barbara and Adam had. Usually, he just reacted to his own. Barbara wouldn’t have gotten into a relationship with Beetlejuice if she’d been unwilling to teach him.

“Lemme know when he’s ready to talk, okay?” the demon continued.

“Well, I don’t have a psychic link to him, but I’ll try…if you read this chapter with me.”

Beetlejuice crossed his arms over his chest, harrumphing. After a few moments, he shrugged, floated over to the bed, and curled up beside her.

If her eyes could water, they might have at the smell of rotting flesh. But Barbara quickly got used to the smell. “Let me guess—your clones poked around and didn’t find anything else interesting happening right now?”

“Ha! Busted! Delia, Lydia and Charles are still arguing about vaccines. Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap. Making out with you is way more fun.”

“We’re learning how to have a more equitable, communicative relationship. Not making out.”

“We’ll see, baby.”

They approached Adam later that afternoon. ��

He looked up from a figurine he was painting, expression guilty. “I’ll come down when it’s time for dinner, okay?” he said quietly. “Don’t worry about me.”

“Is there anything we can do for you now?” Barbara asked.

He looked between Barbara and Beetlejuice. His eyes were so haunted…. Barbara took a few steps forward.

“Adam?” she said softly.

“You said we weren’t ready,” he murmured roughly. “What if we would’ve been? We never even gave ourselves the chance….”

He showed her what he’d been working on: a little child figurine with her blonde hair. “There would’ve been part of you and me living now. Someone with your hair and my eyes, or your smile….”

Okay. We haven’t talked about the abortion in years, and now he’s making a model of what would have become our child. So, this is new. But I can handle this. I know him. I’ve got this.

Nevertheless, a tiny part of her really wanted to tag out and let Beetlejuice handle this one. Not that he would’ve done well—he was frozen except for his eyes, frantically flicking between her and Adam.

While Barbara thought of the most empathetic, respectful way to respond, Beetlejuice blurted out, “Someone’s got a case of the Shouldas.”

“Hmm?” Adam grunted, looking uninterested.

“You know, shoulda done this when I was alive. Shoulda done that. Every newlydead goes through it. Of course, usually they’re stuck in an endless void and not chilling in the living world with their sexy boyfriend.” Beetlejuice nodded to Barbara. “And your sexy wife.”

So he had learned something from that chapter they’d read together. Barbara gave him a small smile. “How do newlydeads usually get through it?” she asked.

“‘Get through’ is real optimistic, Babs. They just get crushed by overwhelming despair and hopelessness. It’s the Netherworld. Everything sucks there.”

Adam grunted again.

Beetlejuice rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I can’t really talk about ‘healing’ and shit….” He gestured frantically for Barbara to do something.

One thing about spending so much time with Beetlejuice was that you got used to out-of-the box thinking. It was time for a little experiment. Barbara didn’t give herself time to think, and dove right in.

“Congratulations, Maitlands.” She made air horn noises. The words ‘The Life We Never Had’ appeared in bright text above the model town. “Welcome to your life where you had your child!”

Adam and Beetlejuice both stared at her in stunned silence.

“This got so dark, so fast, but I kinda love it,” Beetlejuice commented.

“Well,” she said, “first of all, forget this house. We’d probably be living with your parents. They don’t even live in town.” She took a few moments to create a mental map, then gestured at the model. It grew larger, to the surrounding counties. Adam’s family farm was on the outskirts of this new map.

“And forget the CPA degree. No way we can afford that now. But your uncle Eddy has that plumbing business. He’d probably give you a job.” She manifested Eddy’s truck, making it drive through town. “I’d probably knit and sell things on Etsy…. Wait, it’s 2010. Does Etsy even exist?” Barbara couldn’t remember. “Or I’d sell them at the local farmer’s market. We probably still love our projects, even if we don’t have as much time for them now.”

Barbara could’ve gone darker. In this future, she would’ve been stuck in Adam’s parents’ home with no career prospects and a baby she wasn’t sure she wanted. If anything was a recipe for postpartum depression, that would’ve been. But she kept it light.

“Oh, jeez,” she realized, “I forgot all about names! What do you think of Aspen?” Barbara had always wanted a nature-themed name.

“It has the word ‘Ass’ in it,” Beetlejuice complained. “Do you want bullies to give your kid swirlies?”

“You’re not here, mister. You don’t get a say.”

“Hey, that’s right! We never meet if you don’t move into the house.” Beetlejuice frowned. “Truly, this is the darkest timeline.”

“What about River?” Adam said. “For our child.”

“River. That’s beautiful. Okay, so little River goes to school here.” She gestured to the school in town. “What do you think? Good grades?”

“Of course.”

“And then you guys commit crimes!” Beetlejuice interrupted.

Barbara raised her eyebrows.

“What? Boring people commit crimes all the time and become awesome. Weeds? Breaking Bad?”

“I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t.”

“Argh, fine, I was just getting bored of all this slice-of-life shit. Let’s spice things up!”

“Ooo, maybe we solve crimes? Like a cozy mystery set in rural Connecticut.”

“Committing them is way more fun, but I’ll take anything at this point. Your ideal lives are so boring! River’s gonna do meth just to feel alive!”

“They might fall in with a bad crowd in high school,” Barbara said.

“Thank you! A little conflict, please. It’s the essence of drama!”

“But we’d be there for them,” Adam said. “Hmm. Mom and Dad would still die, I suppose. I’d probably disappoint my Maitland ancestors and sell the farm.”

Barbara watched him intently. He wasn’t smiling, but he seemed a bit more engaged than he had been.

“We could move into one of the homes here,” she suggested, nodding to one of the small houses on the outside of town.

“That’s gonna really suck for you when the zombies attack,” Beetlejuice said.

Barbara kept making up their fake life, with Adam chiming in every now and then, both of them trying to ignore Beetlejuice’s input. They tried to give River a nice life, with a full-ride scholarship to NYU (which was, coincidentally, Lydia’s dream school), lots of friends, and a home that may not be full of money but was full of love.

Eventually, Adam smiled and shook his head. “Thanks for playing dolls with me, guys.”

Barbara hugged him from behind. “If you need time to mourn, take all the time you need. Beetlejuice and I are here for you.”

Adam wiped some tears from his eyes. “I think I do. Sorry, sweetie. Sometimes all the things we never got to do…they just hit me, hard. Even things I’d made peace with long ago. I spent so much of my life worrying….”

Barbara moved to stand beside him, kissing his cheek. If she could’ve made him feel warm, she would have.

Beetlejuice was spaced out, staring into the middle distance. Thinking of his own Shouldas, maybe? Nah. He never looks back unless he’s trapped in a traumatic memory about his mother. Probably wondering when we can make out again.

She nodded him over, and he blinked, coming back to the present. Hesitantly, he floated over and rested his chin on Adam’s head.

They were both still and silent, two things Beetlejuice hated, so it wasn’t surprising when a horde of centipedes skittered across the model, or a tiny King Kong grabbed a figurine and climbed up to the top of the town bell tower, roaring.

Lydia interrupted them when she she poked her head into the attic and told them dinner was ready. “And the leftovers will be stored in glass containers—if you leave us any leftovers, Beej. Delia cleared the cupboard of all plastics. Don’t worry about the baby, either. If Delia continues to believe tea tree oil can cure pneumonia or whatever, Dad and I will get the kid vaccinated when she’s not around.”

Barbara smiled at her chosen daughter. Beetlejuice was right; they weren’t stuck in the lonely void of the Netherworld. There was life and family just downstairs. “I’m glad. But I’m sure we’ll be able to convince her otherwise. We have nine months.”

“You’re more optimistic than I am, Barbara.”

Adam put the River figurine with the smattering of other children outside the grade school. “Let’s go,” he said quietly.

The three of them followed Lydia to the dinner table.

#beetlelandsweek2020 #beetlelands #goldenbeetle #beetlejuice the musical #beetlejuice #adam maitland #barbara maitland #beetlejuice x adam x barbara

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lovelylogans · 5 years ago

Note

I’d like to request “There was never an us.” for Moxiety, because I never see betrayal-type angst with that ship

hell’s kitchen

“after a good dinner one can forgive anybody.”—oscar wilde, a woman of no importance

ao3 | other fics on tumblr | coffee?

warnings: food mentions, spice mentions, bickering-type arguing, mostly fluff but please let me know if i’ve missed any!

pairings: moxiety, not mentioned logince

words: 1,437

notes: ohhhhh my god. oHHHH my god. okay look when you say “betrayal-type angst” my brain just went NOPE and as such uhhhh here’s this. takes place after “cohabit” in the wyliwf verse. thank to @teacupfulofstarshine for the “funny names will not save you” line, and also the title!

one of the best parts of living with virgil—other than falling asleep in his arms every night or pressing himself up against virgil’s back, or waking up snuggling him just about every morning, or, like, cuddling on the couch during movie nights, or, like, everything, everything about it—is the fact that he gets to eat virgil-made food all the time.

it. is. fantastic.

he has, of course, offered to help in the ways he can, and pointed out that virgil doesn’t have to cook all the time but virgil always waves him off, pointing out that it’s something he loves to do, and cooking for logan and patton means that he gets to branch out from the usual menu at his diner, which means that patton gets to eat a lot of things he’s basically never heard of before but is now an ardent fan of, like scaccia for dinner and ossetian khachapuri for breakfast.

and if he doesn’t feel like it, it means that patton can sub in with his (admittedly much more basic) cooking, like spaghetti or pizza. sometimes, logan cooks, mostly in preparation for college and eventually living on his own, and that’s always fun to watch virgil guide logan through some basic recipes, and if none of them are up to cooking, they’ll order out (usually from al’s pancake world or anywhere but virgil’s, since virgil admits he’s kind of sick of eating his own diner food.)

doing more dishes in exchange for really good food is a more-than-fair trade, in patton’s mind. there are sometimes misses, like when virgil makes ema datshi and the three of them go red in the face from the sheer amount of spice, drinking nearly a gallon of milk between all of them in an effort to kill the fire in their mouths, but those are few and far between.

so when he comes downstairs to virgil dishing up a bowl of mac and cheese for dinner one night, saying that he’s trying out a new recipe, it’s not suspicious, necessarily, but it is a little tame. patton guesses he’s left the middle-eastern food kick he’s been on for the past couple weeks and wanted to do something relatively low-effort; he has kind of been doing a food world tour for quite a while.

but patton smiles up at him, and kisses him on the cheek, and thanks him for dinner, and then goes to call logan down for dinner, because he’s locked himself up in his room to do intensive research for a story for the franklin.

by the time logan’s come down, virgil’s setting out bowls of some kind of salad, which like, fine, patton guesses, because one of the other drawbacks (or benefits, his doctor and virgil would probably say benefits) meant that virgil got to serve them a lot more healthy side dishes or main courses than he would have had to in the diner, since they aren’t ordering and paying for their dinner.

“hey, kid,” virgil says. “research going okay?”

logan takes a deep breath, which makes patton tamp down his grin. oh, that means they’re in for a lecture.

(logan is a fantastic journalist, and he’s going to do great things out there in the world, but patton thinks that maybe, after he wins fifty thousand pulitzers and maybe a nobel prize, logan would make a great teacher. or at least, in the midst of winning fifty thousand pulitzers, patton hopes that he’ll do some guest lectures at a university, or something, telling all the future bright-eyed journalists about his own adventures and how to best chase a story.)

so logan speaks about the various rabbit holes his research has led him down between bites of mac and cheese and salad and sips of water, fielding questions from virgil and patton, at one point getting up and grabbing a notepad to jot down some kind of idea that patton’s question sparked in his head.

logan talks about his day, too, even if it is mostly in the realm of talking about what happened in his franklin class, and virgil talks about his day too (”taylor,” he growls, “is up to something” which makes logan’s ears perk up and jot it down on the notepad, because the pair of them are… well, he would say menaces, if taylor wasn’t so taylor, not that he’d ever say that out loud.) and so does patton, even if his day was mostly dull—really, the most exciting thing was an update on pau-pau, one of michel’s precious dogs.

but it’s a good family dinner. it’s a nice family dinner, the three of them talking and laughing occasionally. it’s good company, good food, and patton is happy.

at the end of dinner, logan goes back to his room basically as soon as he can, frowning down at his notepad and jotting down more notes even as he’s going up the stairs, and patton laughs a little after him, shaking his head.

“workaholic,” patton says affectionately.

“well, he didn’t actively start researching during dinner, that’s an improvement over last week,” virgil suggests, and patton snorts, shaking his head, before he retreats back into the kitchen and goes to gather up the bowls.

“dinner was really good,” patton says brightly. “the mac and cheese tasted different, but that’s probably ‘cause it’s not kraft.”

“oh, good,” virgil says, and hands over the cup that patton’s reaching for, before patton even asks. “it’s a new recipe, i was hoping you two would like it.”

patton tilts the empty bowls so that virgil can see, before he moves to start rinsing out dishes to stick them in the dishwasher. “well, it was a big hit.”

“good,” virgil repeats. “i’m glad—um, i used milk, salt and pepper, yellow onion—”

patton hums, to show off interest; virgil likes to talk what goes into each recipe, if patton’s not in the room while he’s cooking. mostly because virgil likes to know what’s in everything he’s eating, but hey, it’s interesting enough to patton too, because virgil’s passionate about cooking.

“—vegetable broth—”

“vegetable broth?” patton repeats, because he thinks that the water rushing over the dishes is distorting his hearing.

“uh-huh,” virgil says. “um, gruyere, parsley on top, zoodlesandbutternutsquash—”

patton shuts off the water and turns to face him.

“what was that last part?”

virgil looks abruptly sheepish.

“…zucchini noodles and butternut squash,” he says.

patton gapes at him.

“i mean, you liked it,” virgil points out, fumbling over his words. “so now whenever i serve it, i know you can’t use the excuse of not having liked it—”

“you,” patton says, “snuck me a healthy dinner. in mac and cheese.”

“you liked it!” virgil says defensively.

“you betrayed me. in my own house!” patton declares, mostly joking but also a little affronted.

“our own house,” virgil says, and patton’s lips twitch up, because virgil’s using his sentimentality against him, that jerk who cares deeply for patton’s health!!!!

“there was never an us,” patton says dramatically.

“they’re zoodles!”

“a funny name won’t save you now,” patton says, haughty. “this settles it.”

“settles what?” virgil says.

“i will accept,” patton says, “ice cream from lucy’s as a gesture of apology.”

virgil throws back his head, laughing, and patton traces the long column of his throat with his eyes. virgil reaches over to swat patton with a dish towel. “i thought you were actually mad!”

“not mad,” patton says. “annoyed, maybe, and just a little. it’s mac and cheese, virgil, you already had a side salad!”

“eating healthy isn’t gonna kill you,” virgil says. “the opposite, really.”

“you’re impossible,” patton says, which would probably be more convincing if he wasn’t smiling.

virgil grins back, leaning down to press a kiss to patton’s upturned lips. “i love you very much.”

“impossible,” patton sighs up at him. “how am i supposed to be annoyed at you for being thoughtful about my vitamin intake and taking an active concern in my health because you generally care for my welfare, and you’re so cute at the same time?”

“it’s a talent,” virgil says smugly, and patton snorts a little, before thwacking him with the same dish towel.

“go,” he says, a laugh still around the edges of his voice. “i have chores to do.”

“if you say so,” virgil says, disappearing around the corner, and patton hesitates before he turns, just a little.

“i wasn’t kidding about the lucy’s!” patton calls after him, still smiling despite himself, and turns back to the dishes.

even if the dish itself was full of betrayal—and he won’t admit this—the mac and cheese was pretty good.

#my fic #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides fic #moxiety #anonymous #ask #the sideshire files

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baconsoupforthesoul · 4 years ago

Text

The Ink Demonth - Day 21 - Money

No Refunds, No Returns!~

A/N: This is a fic idea I have had bouncing around in my head for a long time. And luckily, the theme for the day lets me combine the prompt with celebrating the 2nd anniversary of the amazing Bioshock au! If you haven't had a chance to check out this incredible au, do yourself a favor and go see all the great fanart and fics for it, it’s well worth your time. And as always, in this au Henry belongs to @inkspottie, and Delta belongs to @trashboatprince, and Ross belongs to @doberart. And the song referenced in here is the Circus of Value Song by JT Music which you can find here. Oh, and a big thanks to Mod Dead for helping me get the humor just right for this fic. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy~

“Can’t you hack it any faster, Henry?”

The sweater-clad man shot an annoyed look up at Delta before turning back to the vending machine in front of him.

“I’m going as fast as I can, Delta,” Henry grumbled as he fiddled with the Circus of Values vendor. “This hacking business is harder than it looks, okay?”

“Alright, alright,” the big daddy held up his hands in surrender as he leaned back against the wall.

“Take your time, Henry,” Ross said gently as he sat down next to the machine with a grunt, adjusting his bad leg. “I don’t hear any splicers around so we should be safe for now.”

The older man had a point, as Henry couldn’t hear the normally never-ending chatter of the spliced up Rapture citizens. However, he could hear the growling of his stomach, and his friends’ as well. While they were actually surprisingly well-stocked on ammo, they hadn’t been able to find a vending machine that sold food for ages, and after fighting through hoards of splicers, all three of them were practically starving.

If only they weren't so low on cash, they’d be able to get some snacks from the machine no problem.

“Come back when ya get some money, buddy!” The machine chortled at Henry mockingly.

“Oh shut it,” Henry growled, whacking the machine in the side, causing Delta to chuckle.

As Henry fiddled with it some more, Ross turned to look over at him. “What kind of food does the vending machine have anyway?” He asked, his hand involuntarily going over his empty stomach.

“Hmmm,” Henry glanced at the menu. “Looks like chips, creme-filled cake, and pep bars.”

Ross made a face at that. “Damn, was kinda hoping for some real food. Getting sick of all this junk food.”

“I don’t think it’s so bad,” Delta argued. “I could do with a pep bar right about now.”

“Says you,” Henry huffed. “You’ve just never had anything different.”

“When we make it to the surface, we’ll get you some real food, Delta,” Ross said. “Trust me, anything that Linda makes is better than anything you could find down here.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Delta shot Ross a grin and a thumbs up.

“I wanna try the surface food too! Can I? Can I?” Bendy chirped from Delta’s shoulder.

“Of course you can bud,” Delta reached his hand back and rubbed the little devil between his horns. “All the food you can eat!”

“Woo hoo!” Bendy cheered, hugging his daddy around the neck.

Henry smiled at the two of them before turning back to his work. Hopefully, they could enjoy a nice big meal together up on the surface after this whole nightmare was over. Hopefully, they all survived to see the sun again. It had felt hopeless when he had been stuck down here on his own… but now that he’d found allies… it started to seem just a little more possible.

The sweater-clad man narrowed his eyes at the vending machine. He was so close now. He just had to move this bit here…

Henry’s head suddenly shot up when the lights from the vending machine brightened up, shielding his eyes for a second. Then, the ever-annoying laugh from the vending machine started playing, only it was much louder than before. All three of them covered their ears, Bendy even wincing at the loud noise as a deafening jingle started to play.

“Welcome to the Circus of Values

You’ll find no better vending service around you

We’ve got everything that you’ll ever need

Don’t be shy! Come on by! You’ve got a craving to feed~”

“AHHHH!” Henry fell backward onto his backside, hands conversing the sides of his head as the sheer volume made his ears ring.

“WHAT THE HELL?!” Delta jumped back from the machine. “What in the world did ya do, Henry?!”

“I-I-I don’t know,” he cried, seeing Ross scramble to his feet, almost losing his balance and needing the wall to steady himself. “This has never happened before!”

“You can never be too prepared

We’ve got plenty of supplies to spare~”

“Ohhhh! Music!” Bendy beamed, jumping down off Delta’s shoulder, looking over at the machine with stars in his eyes.

“Shut that damn thing off, Henry!” Delta tried to yell over the song. “Everyone in this whole city is gonna hear that thing! We’re gonna be drowning in splicers!”

“Oh shit!” Henry rushed back to the machine, trying his best to endure the loud music as he fiddled with it some more. “Oh shit, oh shit, ohshitohshit,OHSHIT!”

“Without your wallet it’s gonna cost ya

But if you’ve got the capital

We got the product!~”

“I think we’re too late for that,” Ross paled as he looked up to see a splicer screeching at them from a nearby balcony.

Henry gulped, as even with the blaring music, he could hear the sounds of voices all around them.

“What?”

"I don't like the sound of that!"

"H-hello? Is there someone in the hall?"

“You don't come to my town, kid!"

"A rat! It's a rat!"

Henry spared a single glance behind him, seeing the oncoming hoard approaching. They were in deep shit.

“Damn!” Ross readied his pistol. “They’re coming guys, get ready!”

“This ain’t no charity

Come back when you get some money, buddy~”

The splicers descended upon them. Delta rushed forward, slamming one into the wall with his drill while Ross sent out crows to slow them down.

“Where the hell did they all come from?!” Delta yelled, knocking down splicers left and right. “There was nobody around before, so what gives?!?”

“You think I know that?” Ross retorted, shooting a splicer down before they got too close to Henry.

“Grab snacks and drinks and first aid

For when you get bloody, uh oh!~”

“Dammit! That stupid song is mocking us!” Delta complained, feeling his stomach rumble at the mention of food. “Hey Henry! What’s taking you so damn-”

The big daddy stopped as he turned around to see his little devil just dancing along to the song. Bendy had the biggest grin on his feet as he tapped his feet to the beat, completely lost in the music.

“Bendy,” Delta called out to the little devil, his voice a little strained. “You’re real adorable, but now really isn’t the time, okay buddy?”

Bendy just looked up at his dad in confusion

“Huh? Why’s that?” He tilted his head up at him.

Just as Bendy asked the question, a splicer came jumping down from a balcony, screaming bloody murder as it charged at Delta. Bendy yelped as he scrambled up Delta’s back, the big daddy sending a blast of Old Man Winter to freeze the splicer in place. He then rushed forward and smashed them to bits.

“That’s why,” Delta pointed out, reaching up to rub Bendy’s head. “Just stick close to me, alright bud?”

“Ain’t life in Rapture grand?

Come on and give us a hand

We’ll build a paradise~”

“There’s no end to them!” Ross cried, sending splicers hurtling into the air with Newton’s Law.

“We just wanted some fucking food,” Henry grumbled under his breath as he worked. “We didn’t ask for this. Didn’t ask to be at the bottom of the goddamn ocean dealing with psychopaths. Didn’t ask for all this BULLSHIT! WHY WON’T YOU SHUT UP YOU DAMN MACHINE?!”

“Henry!” Ross kicked a splicer in the chest before turning to face Henry. “You have to calm down! You’re not thinking straight right now. Now isn’t the time to panic!”

“Calm down, yeah, I’ll get right to that shall I?” Henry grumbled under his breath. “I’m sorry Ross, but now seems like the PERFECT TIME TO PANIC!”

“Don’t tamper with the hardware

Unless you’re a parasite~”

“COME ON!” Delta roared, smashing splicer after splicer in the face with his drill. “I DON’T,” he whacked another one. “HAVE,” Whack! “ANY TIME,” Whack! “FOR THIS!” Whack! “HENRY SHUT THAT DAMN THING OFF ALREADY!”

“I AM T R Y I N G!” Henry screamed back, hitting the machine desperately. “This should go here, and that there, and WHY ISN’T THIS WORKING???” he cried, feeling tears of panic prick at his eyes.

“You’re not a man if you’re demanding handouts

Come back when you get some money, buddy~”

“Any time now, Henry!” Ross yelled, elbowing a splicer in the face, shooting another point blank with his pistol.

“I know! I knowwwww,” Henry whined, shocking the machine with his shock jockey again and again in the vain hope that it would help. The shocks did nothing though, other than somehow make the music louder. Henry could hardly hear himself think over the noise.

“Our prices are the best

We drive the competition nutty~”

“SHUT UP” Henry screamed at the machine, whacking it as hard as he could. "WHY CAN'T YOU SHUT UPPPPPP PLEASEEEE,” Henry cried desperately, tears streaming down his face. “I’M BEGGING YOU, CIRCUS OF VALUES CLOWN, JUST SHUT UPPPPPPP!"

The sweater-clad man let out a scream of frustration as he stood up and began repeatedly kicking the machine. “SHUT UP! SHUTUP! SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!” He screamed, kicking the machine again with each word.

“Welcome to the Circus of Values

You’ll find no better vending service around you

We’ve got everything that you’ll ever need

Don’t be shy! Come on by! You’ve got a craving to feed~”

“THAT’S IT!” Delta yelled, storming towards the machine. “I’VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH THIS DAMN THING!”

The big daddy pushed Henry aside, grabbed the machine by both sides and lifted the whole thing up.

“Go home if you can’t afford to buy it~”

“TAKE THIS YOU STUPID VENDING MACHINE!” He hollered, throwing the thing with all his might and managing to take out the last few splicers with it. The thing burst, raining bullets, snacks and drinks all over the place. Henry even felt a pep bar hit him on the head before tumbling to the ground.

The song stopped, the sound from the machine sputtering. The last noise it made was a feeble “No refunds, no returnssssssss-,” before it went silent. The three of them just stood there for a moment, catching their breath. A second later though, alarms started blaring, the security system alerted that the vending machine had been vandalized.

“Why did you do that, Delta?!” Henry cried, pointing an accusing finger at Delta. “Now we’re going to be swarmed by security bots!”

“If I had to listen to any more of that annoying song, I was gonna lose my mind!” Delta shot back. “There’s no time to argue, grab the food and run!”

The big daddy rushed forward, grabbing as many bags of chips and creme-filled cakes as his arms could carry. Henry and Ross quickly rushed forward too, Ross making sure to grab a coffee thermos as Henry snagged some pep bars.

“Here they come!” Ross yelled as the whirling sound of security bots got closer.

“Run for it!” Delta tried to scream through a mouthful of chips he had cramped in his mouth.

“Shit!” Henry yelped around a pep bar he had hanging out of his mouth, trying his best to run with his arms full of food.

“Save some food for me, Daddy!” Bendy whined as they all booked it out of there, security bots right on their heels. They were certainly having a grand old time in Rapture.

#the ink demonth #ink demonth #bendy and the ink machine #batim #bioshock au #henry stein #bendy #bendy batim #inkspottie #trashboatprince #doberart #spacy writes

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incorrect-clone-wars-quotes · 5 years ago

Text

oh fuck fuck fuck fuck a duck!!!!!!!!! (7.11 - Shattered)

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how are we feeling today everyone

god this intro gives me chills every time i hate it but it’s so cool

FUCK THIS MUSIC

when is it gonna happen

i have trust issues and i don’t approve of this

yeah get fucked ugly ass

what was his name

it was rlly white like clayton or something

who’s in that ship

who is that

oh fuck!!!!

please do not walk away from maul i DO NOT TRUST HIM

stop talking about satine :((((((

ayyyyyyy

NOPE

HES OFF MURDERING HIS WIFE

why is bo... looking at them like that

ayyyyy

OHHHH NO

OHHHHHH BOYYYY

FUCK!!!!!

ayyyyyy

uhhhh i don’t think that’s gonna happen girl 😳

yeah!! no yoda!!!! no!!!!

he’s not here ayyyyy

he’s gonna murder his wife ayyyy

FUCK!!!!!!! he bout to die 😳

FUCK OFF WINDU!!! “i’m sorry citizen” DO YOU KNOW WHO YOURE FUCKING TALKING TO??

that side eye rex gave lmao

he’s so itty bitty :)

yes a message for skywalker

SAY SOMETHING

NO????????

FUCK. OH FUCK.

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT AHSOKA

she’s worried :(

oh rex knows too

she shared that info with everyone else

HAHA GET FUCKED LMAOOOO

carbonite that bitch

ooh who’s she

is that fuckin yghhhhh. sabine’s mom

ursa?? i think that’s her name

OH FUCK HES NOT FROZEN

I HATE HATE HATE THIS

fuck

WHY WOULD HE BE AWAKE FUCK

I DO NOT LIKE THIS AT ALL

that’s fuckin sick tho

better get more of them shits about to go down

awwww trailer shot

gal pals

something bads gonna happennnnn fuck this music

FUCK OFF W THIS MUSIC!!!!!!!

and this eerie ass lighting

what the tuck

why would they keep him awake

UHHHHHHHHHHH

is he trying to force time

OH FUCK THERES TOO MANY CLONES NOW

iM VERY WORRIED

is maul gonna help them escape?? i cannot see any easy way out of this situation

god what the FUCK IS THIS MUSIC

there’s so many fucking shots of the clones i HATE THIS WHAT THE FUCK

creepy ass room

why couldn’t they just CARBONIFE FREEZE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

god what the fuck

oh that’s a beautiful shot

BRUH THEYRE SALUTING I HATE THIS

fuck OFF FILONI

that’s gorgeous :((((((((((

YES

SOMETHING IS ON HER MIND

bro ;((((((((

awwwww

AWWWWWWWWWWW

hug

HUG

GODDAMNIT

when has a clone ever worn that outfit EVER??

she’s grown up so much 😭😭😭

ughhhhhhHHHHHHHH

WOAAAH THE FUCKING SOUND IT MADE WHEN HE OPENED HIS EYES

TRAILER SHOT

WHAT FHE FUCK

whatshdjdjjdjdjsjsj FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK WHAGDHNDJD WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

MAUL WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT????

WHATvvvvbbBshfjfjkdks

what???

no no no no obononoononono!!!!

NONPBONONONONOONONO!!!!!!

NO!!!! REX?????

PLEASE TELL ME YOURE TRYING TO HELP HER

WHAT THE FUCK

no oNONOBOONONONONOONN

HES CRYING

WHAT THE FUCK

god i fucking hate this

HE WAS TRYING TO FIGHT IT!!!

FIGHT IT REX!!!!!!!!

what the fuck

i hate this so much

REX!!!!! no

my babey :(((((

WHAT THE FUCK

I HATE THIS SO MUCH

uhhhhh what the fuck is this box lmao

OH FUCK!!!! BAD BITCH!!!!!

there’s really only one button that undoes all the restraints

that’s not very safe

fuck off oh my god

MAUL!!!!!!!!! SHUT UP!!!!

yeah he did that’s true

why does he look so short

SHUT THE FUCK UP LMAOOOOO

nice ahsoka

aren’t the clones heading to the detention level

FUCK OFF YOU DONT DESERVE IT

the “best friend i’ve ever had” to THIS SHIT???? HOW DOES REX ?? I- ?????? UH??

ahsoka this is some dangerous shit

ayyy droids

aww they’re all concerned :((((((

SHES ASKING THEM PERMISSION AWWW

FIVES?????????

FIVES!!!!!!!!!

OH SHIT THE INHIBITOR CHIP

HE SAID “FIND HIM” IT WAS FIVES!!!!!!!!

SHE KNOWS ABOUT THE CHIPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

REX?? isn’t rex 7567

she knows his password lmao

REX. REX!!!!!

YEAH THEY ARE!!!! YOURE RIGHT BABY!!!!!!!

FUCKING MAUL LMAOOOOO

ok i’d never usually say this but thank god he was here

jesus christ

did he just fucking DECAPITATE SOMEONE???????

FUCKING GROSS!!!!!!

that was gruesome as hell

say hello maul :) 👋🏼

LMAOOOOO

haha rex

time to rip THE CHIP!!!!!!!

RIP!!! THE!!! CHIP!!!

OH FUCK

oh my god oh my god

ohhhhh fuck

no ahsoka i want you to cut his neck open right here right now

RIP!!! THE!!! CHIP!!!

god i fucking hate this

at least the droids aren’t under order 66

god medical droids are creepy as hell

UHHHHH WHAT?????????

NO CHIP?????????????

this droid is so funny

r7 really said “chuh chuhchuhcuhuhchuh”

cmon rex :(((((((((

REMOVE IT WITH THE FORCE

YEAH GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HES SAYING IT

OG MY GOS OG TM GOD DOG YM GOD SUF

AYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

oh my god :((((((( i’m so stressed i HATE THIS

oh fuck

ohhh fuck!!!!!!

god she’s so fucking cool

i wanted to be her as a child and i still want to be her

HES AWAKE WHY IS HE AWAKE

REX???????? GO TO SLEEP REX

HE SHOT BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

REX!!!!!!!! BUDDY!!!!!! BABY!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD

that was really fast

OH MY GOD

fuckkkkkkk i already knew that but FUUUUCK

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!

#the clone wars #star wars #ahsoka tano #captain rex #commander rex #order 66 #clone wars spoilers #clone wars season 7

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jean----ralphio · 4 years ago

Text

BoB live blog ep 2!

Aw yis episode 2 pls

Episode 2: Day of days.

And now for some shameless self-promotion: I named the restaurant in my BoB restaurant!au fanfic Jour des Jours, which according to google translate is French for day of days. It was a French restaurant. See what I did? I’m so smart. Any way it’s on AO3 if you wanna read it – Speirton have sex in a wine cellar. That’s the only thing I remember because tbh what else matters?

Anyway

On to the ep!

02:25 Once again I am an emotional wreck after just the credits. THE. MUSIC.

02:26 THEN THIS SHOW HAS THE AUDACITY TO HIT ME WITH IRL DICK WINTERS. NO. NO I CANNOT. I CANNOT COPE YOU GUYS I AM WEAK I LOVE YOU IRL DICK WINTERS!

04:02 OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD NO DON’T CRY IRL BABY, DON’T CRY I CAN’T HANDLE IT

04:58 RICH. I feel better now. Is it the best idea to be smoking at this point, Rich?

05:12 LOL at Dick staring, and his little smile. Kinda creepy there, Dick.

06:00 This is getting stressful. I am getting stressed.

06:15 Dick I really wish you would move away from the fucking door, I am having a hard enough time as it is

06:40 RICH.

06:45 Oh, nervous boys

06:56 Rich be careful, don’t break the clicky thing

07:27 OH GOD

08:08 OH SHIT

08:20 OH GOD NO. I AM STRESSED.

08:57 OH NO

09:05 OH NOOOOO

09:17 OH NO, OH GOD, FUCK

09:30 GUYS. STRESS.

10:20 JESUS SHIT

10:21 THAT WAS A MESS

11:05 I’m still so scared ahhhh Dick :s

11:08 Oh what did he lose? All his gear?? It’s karma for stressing me out so much.

11:14 That looked like it hurt

11:24 Aw baby. Hey Moriarty.

11:37 Dick coached the basketball team? Cute

11:57 LMFAO at their little crab walks

12:00 Nope. Not that way. Abort abort

12:24 Aw Moriarty looks so scared. It’s OK Moriarty you’re safe with Dad Winters.

13:01 OHHH his little shuddery breath <3 It’s OK! Dick will protect you!

13:33 Dick is just the sweetest, calming him down and cheering him up. And he’s so chill and natural about it.

13:40 “We’re not lost, private, we’re in Normandy.” LOL DICK ILY

14:31 That’s so cute, they’re so desperate to get to Dad <3

14:52 DAFUQ.

14:53 Ohhhh. Still weird. Smart but weird.

16:16 Everyone’s so happy to see Dick <3

16:25 “Who the hell is Hall?” Sorry I snorted lmao

16:55 Dad to the rescue

17:35 DAMMIT BILL. THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.

17:47 NOT THE HORSE! COME ON, BILL, DAFUQ

18:00 I do not like this. At all.

18:04 STOP.

18:17 DAD IS ANGRY. AND SO AM I.

18:20 Are you trying to step into the vacant punk bitch role, now that Ross is gone, Bill? ILY but come on, man.

18:23 Thank you Joe/Charlie

18:34 BILL. DO NOT.

18:37 Moriarty, baby, it’s OK

18:44 LMAO

19:11 Ew mosquitoes

19:25 Joe/Charlie is the best <3 “What was he gonna do, shout at them?” <3

19:42 Oh dear

20:10 The cows are like lol fuck off, this is our bombed out little field, get your own

20:14 Oh no

20:54 Malark, honey, no

21:24 Dick’s like ohhhhhh

21:44 Malark! Come on, leave him alone

21:50 The biggest plot twist

21:55 Fella’s hot

22:08 Same as you, Malark

22:18 I wouldn’t mind fraternizing with that particular enemy tbh

22:29 Ah. Poor horses </3 The boys had to make do I guess…

22:50 Lieb <3

23:01 Buck’s here too, thank God

23:14 Lord, thank you for his eyes

23:15 Look I feel like the most important issue has not been addressed WHERE THE FUCK IS RICH?

23:26 Dick’s like oh fuck I hope not. Except Dick Winters would never swear

23:32 Speirs! His smile is so creepy.

23:36 Speirs is like I don’t know, and I don’t care, it’s fine. I’m a one-man platoon, everyone else would just slow me down.

23:43 DON’T GIVE THEM TO HIM BUCK

24:03 No baby, you won’t.

24:10 Hot guy knows it, too

24:18 Speirs makes slogging through that mud look so easy lol

24:40 *Sigh*

25:15 Is Joe/Charlie still fixated on getting to Berlin to shank Hitler? Probably

25:58 Lol Speirs is so nosy

27:00 Aw but he bonded with you! Aw baby </3

27:15 Mood, tbh. Lip is literally the only Easy boy I would trust with TNT.

28:05 I don’t know why but this makes me lol. Stop playing hide and seek in the car, Dick

29:57 That’s my aesthetic. Lip and blossoms.

30:13 Speirs, your boy needs you!

31:04 There’s so much happening so fast, I can’t keep up. Which is probably on purpose.

31:21 OK I’M SO SORRY BUT THE “FUCK! MY ASS!” SUBTITLE STAYED ON MY SCREEN FOR THE LONGEST TIME AND I LOST MY SHIT LAUGHING

31:39 Aw, Pop, baby

32:12 So stressful. Again.

32:29 Buck’s like oh cool that’s sick, lemme see

33:05 BUCK! Be careful!

33:18 Joe/Charlie is not having a good time right now. You know what would make things better for him? IF RICH WAS THERE. WHERE. IS. RICH.

34:13 He got his brass knuckles at last, so there’s that.

35:00 Malark!!

35:10 YOU IDIOT WHAT ARE YOU DOING

35:30 Lip’s busy being mum, give him a sec

35:55 Love you Moriarty

37:02 I just. The camera. Like shaking and mirroring his running and you can just feel the desperation and the frantic emotions and you can’t tell what’s happening because HE can’t tell what’s happening and it’s all just so rushed and scary and such a scramble and I.

37:38 Noooo

38:02 NOOOOOOOOOO

38:06 Not your fault Dick

38:26 I gasped

38:42 Ohhhh lookey here

38:55 Aw Lip

39:04 JFC. SPEIRS. MY DUDE. ISTG. He just springs up out of nowhere with a pile of ammo. (Also his fingers? JFC Lord have mercy). I feel like he is just SO. EXCITED. TO. KILL. So terrifying.

39:47 LMAO ohhh Lip <3 Your BF is here now, it’s fine.

41:09 I wish my husband would roll in on a tank. Actually no. No I don’t. I would be very concerned and would tell him to put it back where he found it.

41:12 FLIRTING. AGAIN. It’s almost cute enough to distract me from the fact that I HAVEN’T SEEN RICH IN A LONG TIME I AM NOT CONTENT. I do feel like it’s key that that is legit the first thing Nix does upon seeing Dick alive and well <3

42:25 Aw boys. I loved this whole scene.

43:22 Aw lol Dick

43:41 LMFAO GET WRECKED BILL

43:56 Dick your husband is calling you, pay attention

44:11 “Don’t ever get a cat” LMAO. Let your husband open the can, Dick. Aw I love that Nix knows already something is wrong and Dick is upset.

44:47 NIX GO TO HIM

44:55 You will save more people, Dick </3

46:00 Baby

46:30 DESERVED

Guys I would like to file an official complaint about the lack of Rich.

But God.

This episode. Play time and training time and running around Taccoa and Pottery barn in England with Ross the douchebag, that’s all in the past. Now it’s all real </3

#band of brothers #liveblog #WHERE IS RICH #the winnix in this god #ignore my shameless selfrec at the start

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maiuoart · 5 years ago

Text

Massive DragaSwap Asks!

Heya, Folks! Got a massive information dump for the wonderful DragaSwaps!

@rofa1309 Ohboy! This is actually my favorite, because Azure actually sleeps hilariously and adorably!!

Azure sleeps like a literal egg; Meaning he curls up, arms under his head, hands cradling his skull slightly, while his wings completely cover and wrap around him while his tail’s magic goes out, leaving him with his boney tail nub!

Though it would be a hell of a lot easier if Azzie would just... Y’know, move his horns like his brother?? Like, keep them back or position them some DIFFERENT way?? He prefers to never move them, but that’s alright... He seriously loves curling up and being literally compacted. I wouldn’t be surprised if you had him in your home, you’re trying to look for him; And here you haven’t found him ALL DAY... But you open a closet door, and here you just see something that shouldn’t be there... Low and behold, it’s fucking Azzie sleeping like an egg in your closet xDDD

Abyss? He sleeps easily with his ability to move his horns. Normally ends up sleeping on the magical-substances, honestly! Doesn’t hurt him though, he’s so used to sleeping on them, on his hood, but it does shock him awake when he’s able to pinch his hood magic.

However if they really could; They could turn their magic off within their horns (And other spots containing their magic) but they only do this when regenerating from fights!

Oh, the brothers would be very cautious if it’s a new person their meeting! Actually, they have to be; They wouldn’t dare go near someone/thing/monster without fully understanding the situation at hand. So basically, that won’t happen... At least... With Azzie.

However, if you’ve already known them for a bit but not much or something to that affect;

Azure would be watching your moves and curious of what you may be staring at.

He’ll focus really hard on whatever spot you’re daydreaming at and trying to see if he finds the appeal of... What is that? A rock? Why? What’s so special about it? And he’ll literally get closer to you to try and view what you are; And if you jolt when he gets too close; He’ll probably be so focused on the spot himself he’ll either; -Not notice you jumping, with furrowed brows and trying so hard to figure out the meaning behind your staring at a thing -Or if you make a noise; He’ll accidentally hiss and jolt himself before asking you questions!

Abyss, well...

Truth be told, he’d keep staring at you. He’s the jokester, so he’ll begin to make small tail movements around your direction and keep playing around like that until he finally gets a reaction from you. Either his tail, flaring his hood a bit, ‘sssss’ing softly or the like; And when you jolt? He’s going to rightfully laugh and chuckle, make a few jokes where he can.

If it’s a first time meeting; He’ll stay hidden and keep a close watch on you. Though, he’s the more curious one, ironically; Had to be, after Azzies accident. If you’re, lets say... About to fall off a cliff or something; He might help ya out but without showing himself. If he somehow ends up doing so, however; He would be as tense as you. His hood would flare, his eyes would darken as his eyelights would turn to tiny slits, waiting for you to make a move first... If you showed that expression though, he would relax a bit and chuckle, then start telling you to watch where you step and quickly get you both back on the ways you were heading.

But, if you catch this boy in his Feeding Frenzy... Walking in on him while he’s Eating; Could literally be anything, but he would become more than aggressive. With his mind on the concept of Food only; you better turn right around as soon as you hear his rumbling and warning hiss he will no doubt do. He’s... Very feral when in this area. His Food, His Feeding; You better pray he has a full stomach so he doesn’t chase after you.

Lord only knows what the fuck he’d do if he managed to still be hungry!!

@inkswirl Both brothers would be... Well! Very enthralled with that!! After the whole jolting and semi freaking out because you had somehow came right up and asked them, anyways!

After the shock;

Azure would fluster a bit; Never had a picture taken at all or had someone wanting to look at him like they didn’t want him dead or something! Though he’d be super flattered, he would actually try and say he isn’t that interesting due to all the low self-esteem in his mind raging, perhaps trying to get you to draw his brother instead??? But all in all, if you were a bit more insistent, he would ask shyly if he could see it afterward.

Abyss wouldn’t care at all which way it would go; You might get a bit annoyed with the picture taking, though... Film is easy to convert, especially with Magic Waves he would give out and basically say he isn’t doing anything when you become frustrated at the camera for not being able to take ‘Good Pictures’ of the brothers... Even Azzie is disappointed, but Abyss wouldn’t care. No photo evidence. Yet, you sketching them? Yeah, he’d be all for it and sit and sun bathe, take a nap while you do your thing; Because it’ll be drawn, so theres no real danger in it.

@desithecubi They both are flattered and say you’re mighty adorable, too!! Thank you for the hugs~ ♥

Both of the guys would prefer night; But thats due to the fact they’re nocturnal! Though if they could, especially Azure, he’d try to become a day-bird... He HAS tried, but it’s failed so much... Doesn’t stop him though! He turned to half/half while Abyss is all for the night.

There are rare days though they’ll be up during the days; But that’s probably due to work or someone disturbed them! Or their minds won’t let them rest~

Yes! Both brothers have the ability to merge or camouflage with their backgrounds/surroundings! However, it takes a bit of time for it to completely cover them, so they have to be stealthy... It’s quick to disappear, though! It’s due to so much magic within that makes up their horns and everything, that it’s used to help them go basically invisible! It’s why their so rare for; No other Monster in their area can do this, making them the perfect candidates for being Protectors!

That’s actually two different terms of Hunter;

Azure's meaning is he literally Hunts for food and patrolling around. His brother is whats called a Watcher, where he stays in place.

Hunters for Humans is what I have called the Mages right now; They’re out to get any Monster they can; Whether it be for Magic, Dust, whatever treasure they can get their hands on, or even just for kicks. It’s literally like those people who have a lot of money and hunt Lions or other rare breeds of animals and some WILL kill for sport.

I have already answered this one, @blacklynx14!

Here ya go! ♥

Actually!! This is slightly flipped; Both the brothers are constantly out in the Forbidden Forest making rounds and making sure trespassers are taken cared of. Mainly with kindness, but they both aren’t scared to get forceful! The Monsters where never Underground and don’t plan to be; Though, ironically most would prefer it rather than being up in the open due to previous attacks way back when they could remember by Hunters. It would be hella-lot safer, that’s for sure! But ever since the Brothers were put as Protectors, everything has been... Good?? Better??? It’s seriously nice; Even though some may not be very welcoming to them :’)

Nah, the Royal Guards are deeper within the Forbidden Forest. What Azure and Abyss are? Their much higher than that, so they have no need for it! But, most of the RG’s are very jealous, because the two get to see from outside the Forest, basically!

But when the brothers get bored and feel no other living forces around? Well, Abyss is the Sunbather. But if he sleeps for far too long, Azure will actually come and push him or have a bottle of cold water to wake his brother up!

Azure likes to;

-Soar in the sky high above the trees, will even go into the Mountains for a while! He’s the explorer and enjoys to sight see. Sometimes, he’ll even travel as far as he can go before the beads on his outfit warn him to turn back. -If he’s able to find any small creatures; He ends up so side tracked playing with them, he doesn’t realize he’s been gone for hours! Especially little cougar cubs and baby bears... And he becomes great friends with a lot of the woodland and other creatures! At least they don’t judge him... -If it’s super late at night and there hasn’t been any humans wandering within their territory for a long while; He’ll actually go to the Village of a particular one to make sure the Humans are alright. There is a certain Human too he enjoys to hang out with, or... Did.

Abyss enjoys;

-To literally stay in one spot and laze about. And if he can easily catch critters that go in his path, he’ll eat them out of boredom. -He seriously loves pranking his brother, but he has a dark twist to it. Azzie is and has been sick of his humor though. -One of his favorites is to eat squirrels and chipmunks in front of Azzie and Azure’s actual reaction is getting Pissed The Fuck Off and Abyss loves it. (No, worry not; The Animals don’t suffer long. Abyss makes sure it’s quick.) -He... Will watch his stomach digest his food when he’s extremely bored. It’s like watching tv for him. -Go into their Village and talk with other Monsters and just try to have an enjoyable time. Sometimes it’s hard, but at least a few of them don’t mind what he is!

For the Ask they were talking about; Go here!

Ohhhh, you got some pretty cool hobbies, Rofa!! That water painting sounds super relaxing and ultra pretty ♥ But Hobbies for the boys, huh?... Well, lets see...

Azure is the one who ventures, so hiking is his main thing! But if not hiking, he really does enjoy to cook~ Feeding animals is also his ordeal, while learning from the humans of their medication things! He’s very curious how they heal!! Not to mention, want to heal animals, as well!

Abyss is the one who’s all about making clothing from furs and hides. You wouldn’t think he’d be the one to make clothing or anything, but he’s gotta do something productive so his brother doesn’t yell at him... He’s also the fire maker, a bit of a pyro, and enjoys to cook, too. Very big foodie, always looking how to get herbs or learning how to cook; But he’s also good with working and construction types. Building firepits to camps, he’s very much the builder despite not looking like it!

I have not really thought of them quite yet; So if people have ideas for them, I wouldn’t be opposed to hearing you out!!

And because it’s a Swap verse; Yes! My Grillby would be a Gillby, the Water Element!

Yes, actually!! A very good relationship; Abyss and Asgore get along very well together. It’s actually because Abyss shows interest more in the Monster heritage that Asgore is happy to have him in their area!

But, that brings up the question for Azure... Toriel is fine with both the boys; But Asgore might be very weary of Azzie due to his interest in the Humans and then how he got hurt. Still though, he watches out for both of the Brothers and makes sure their alright! He’s still a loveable Goatdad! Just questions Azzie’s place sometimes...

#DragaSwap #DragaSwaps #DragaSwap Asks #rofa1309 #inkswirl #desithecubi #blacklynx14 #Rofa; You're the one most in these and I appreciate all the deep questions you had!!!#Maiuo #MaiuoART #Goodlord so many questions but i LOVE IT #I didn't know whether to answer them seperately or not but #Eh #Oh well #Mai replies #SO MUCH

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

Text

Survey #358

“i know the pieces fit, ‘cuz i watched them fall away”

Would you ever own a Great Dane as a pet? Oh Lord, my mom wants one so bad. She looooves big dogs. I wouldn't, though. I don't want another dog, period. What was or is your favorite quality about your recent ex? Her resilience, strength, creativity, loyalty, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. lol. Have you ever witnessed a human being giving birth in real life? No, and I NEVER fucking will. What about an animal? Yeah, cats. What kind of things do you enjoy reading about on sites like Wikipedia? I sometimes do that for straightening out game plots after watching a let's play if I have remaining questions. Wikipedia tends to do well with compressing it. Which country’s cuisine that you haven’t tried, would you be interested in sampling? (e.g. Moroccan, Thai etc.) I wouldn't know because I'm not educated enough on foreign cuisines. What’s the last movie you watched on your own? The Shining, I think, forever ago. Fried, poached, boiled or scrambled eggs? Scrambled. Have you ever got into a club, whilst being underage? I've never tried. Are you happy with your relationship with God, or do you want more from it? I don't have one. Do you struggle with boredom? Very, very severely. I have absolutely awful anhedonia; I'm pretty much constantly bored. Literally. I just... find things to pass the time, even if I'm not really enjoying myself. What famous person do you wish you could be friends with? I'm going to assume here you don't mean a significant other, because uh... y'all been known lmaooo. I would really love to be friends with Gab Smolders (I know that's not her real name, just using her YT name), because we have very similar interests. As well, Suzie Hanson is a fucking SWEETHEART. I miss her channel. :( At some point I want to purchase some stuff from her store to support the darling. Man, thinking of this question, there's really a lot. What would you do if you were famous? Hate it, haha. Do you wish you hair were shorter or longer? It's at a fine length right now. What photo editing website or software do you use? Lightroom and Photoshop. What hair color looks best on you and what’s your natural color? I think my hair looked best black. It's naturally brown. What is your favorite show to watch? Meerkat Manor. It is so, so comforting to me. Are your maternal/parental instincts strong? Not with kids, oddly enough. I've only ever really encountered strong protective instincts with significant others like when they're sick or something like that. In school, do you/did you work better by yourself or in a group? I absolutely worked better alone. I hated group work. Do you know anyone who has a collection of old records? My mom did, once upon a time. I feel like I know someone who does now... but idk. Do you go on any forums often? Just RP ones. Would you ever agree to an open relationship with someone? Nnnnope. Do people always say you’re too thin? Uh, I have the opposite problem. Could you design a whole web page yourself? Not from scratch, no. I've only done so on free sites that give you the bare bones and easy editing. Have you ever cooked an entire dinner for your family? Definitely not. Do you prefer piano music or violin music? Ohhhh, both are beautiful, but I have to say violin. Who do you tend to get in fights with the most? My mom, I guess, not that we fight a lot. Are you attracted to spooky and macabre things naturally? YEP. Have you ever bobbed for apples? Were you successful? No. It's disgusting if you're going after others, and besides, I HATE water up my nose and have never quite figured out how to block it out without plugging it. Hypothetically speaking, if you had a child [too young to make their own decisions], what would you dress him/her up as for Halloween? It would depend on what their interests were. Do you intend to take your children trick-or-treating, if ever you have any? I'm not having kids, but if I did, I definitely would if they wanted to go. What is the coolest jack-o-lantern you have ever seen? Now THAT'S hard, I really don't know. What was your favorite candy to get from trick-or-treating? What about your least favorite? Reese's was my favorite, and I never liked Tootsie Rolls. Did you ever receive anything that wasn’t candy? Maybe? I feel like I have... Have you ever carved a really extensive pumpkin, or were they always simple carvings? Yes; I once carved a pumpkin with a raven design with "and quoth the raven, 'nevermore'" written into the back. The raven wasn't just a flat cut-out, but rather carved in layers so the light came through differently at certain depths. Are you more interested in cute, funny, “sexy”, or scary costumes? For myself, absolutely the scary ones. In general though, I'm not gonna BS ya, I love me some sexy costumes, haha, but also still scary and particularly gory ones. Have you ever intimidated or made another person feel legitimately threatened? If not, do you think that you could ever be seen as scary? I seriously hate admitting this, but Mom has confessed that my yelling has scared her before when scolding our former dog that I fucking hated. In what ways do you or would you need to be validated by a partner? (For example, liking your posts/talking about you on social media, or perhaps by doting on your with gifts.) I absolutely need words of affirmation. I just need to hear a lot that you do still like/love me. Also, if you're unwilling to actually act like we're a couple in front of ANYONE, like you're ashamed of me or something, byyyyeeee. Do you tend to succeed by weaning yourself off of something or by quitting cold turkey? It depends, I guess. Is there a specific type of pet breed/size/etc. that you don’t want? Why not? Any that have underlying medical issues, like pugs, spider ball pythons, Persian cats, etc. etc... It's just a moral thing; I don't want to support the deliberate continuation of poor genes in animals for human monetary gain. It's just wrong to me. Away from breeds, I also don't really want free-roaming animals after my cat passes, because I don't want to endanger the reptiles and invertebrates I want as pets in the future. Have you ever lived in a notoriously dangerous area? If not, would it bother you to do so? I grew up in one, yes. I never want to again. Has a friend’s significant other ever interfered with or damaged your friendship? What about a significant other of yours damaging a friendship? No. What, if anything, is something that you put pressure on yourself about? What do you imagine would happen if you did not live up to this expectation? Getting a job nowadays. I do NOT want to imagine what my life will be like if I never find employment. If you have been in a serious relationship, have you and your partner ever discussed lifetime plans that clashed? Did you reconcile them or did you break up? If you have not been in a relationship, what are some issues that would be deal-breakers? This hasn't happened, no. If you were offered to smoke some weed right now would you accept? Honestly, I want to try weed to see if it would help my anxiety, BUT I'm unwilling to ever smoke something, so no. Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle? Yeah. Do you listen to country music? No. Have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like? No. Were you ever a trouble maker? Not really, no. Do you shave your legs? Hell, that's debatable by this point. I haven't since this past October, but I *would* if for whatever reason someone might see my legs. I am not overexaggerating when I say I naturally have men's legs as far as hair goes, oof. Do you have any person in your family with an addiction to beer? That's what my dad always drank when he was an alcoholic. He doesn't touch alcohol now. Have you ever gotten sloppy drunk at a party? No. Have you ever slept naked? Accidentally. Could you ever be friends with the person who hurt you most in life? I really don't think I could be. Do you actually like going to school? I never did. Have you ever really been in a “complicated relationship”? How did that work out? In your opinion, what makes a relationship “complicated”? No. I don't care enough to go into what a complicated relationship means, I think it's pretty obvious. Who was the first person you’ve ever fallen in love with? Is this a person you’re still in contact with? How do you know you’re in love with someone? Jason, and no. And you just... know. It's a wordless feeling . Have you ever successfully broken a bad habit? How about conquered a fear of something? Uhhhh I don't know, really. Well, I used to be AWFUL at picking my eyebrows, particularly when anxious, but I have gotten better at that. I still kinda do it, though. Onto the next question, I don't believe I've "conquered" a fear, but rather they just faded with time on their own. Have you ever read a whole series of books? Yeah. Are you going to walk at your graduation or just pick your diploma up? I walked. Do you own a pair of brass knuckles? No. Have you ever tried to break a Guinness World Record? No. Can you sing your ABC’s backwards? I can't. Do you like Skittles? I love Skittles. Do you know how to read music? I used to. Who would you say has made the biggest impact on your life? Really, Jason. He ultimately led to me getting proper treatment for my depression, which changed my life. I'm in no way giving him credit for it, but you get what I mean. You can only listen to THREE CDs for the rest of your life. What are they? Black Rain and Ozzmosis by Ozzy Osbourne, and uhhh... perhaps The Black Album by Metallica. Do you own any shirts that have a year on it? Yeah, but it's way too small for me now. It's from Back To The Future, when we actually reached the date in the movie. Have you ever done another person’s make-up? Ha, I gave Jason a makeover once. Honestly, do you double dip? Not if I'm sharing the dip with other people. Who were you last on an elevator with? My mom. Do you know anyone that has a black belt in karate? Not to my knowledge. How often do you wear hats? Never. Who is the youngest gay person you know? *shrug* Have you ever watched an animal being eaten by another animal? I've seen cats eat mice and stuff as a kid. What is the strangest, most “out there” thing you believe? Some people I'm sure would consider the fact I believe the government was involved in 9/11 as "out there," but when you look into it, it's far from "out there." Do you get along with people who are especially religious? Why/why not? It depends on how they act about it, not what they keep in their head. Now if they have just purely hateful beliefs that demonize another's existence, then no, we can't get along. Have you ever drawn or painted a self-portrait? Painted, yes, for an art class. Do you have any interesting pillow cases? No. Are you more afraid of spiders or bees? Bees, generally. Especially if we're talking things like wasps, who are just demon spawns. Would you rather donate time, blood, or money? That's a really hard question, but I guess time? Like I'm thinking volunteer work and stuff, or listening to and comforting someone. Can grills be sexy on a guy? They're sexy on absolutely no one. Last strong smell you can remember smelling? Ugh, gasoline. This one car in front of my mom and me smelled awful. Last healthy thing you ate? Apples. Do you know anybody who was abused? Emotionally, yes. Do your parents volunteer anywhere? No. Do you have a steering wheel cover? Mom's car doesn't. What do you think of when you see sharp knives? This is really morbid, but I will immediately envision what it would be like to be stabbed. I'm very afraid of knives. The highway and back roads take you to the same place; choose your route. The back roads, of course. And let me bring my camera.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''schism'' by tool

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bruciewayne · 5 years ago

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stars hide your fires

stevetony, steve-centric, light angst, mostly fluff, 2k

Steve’s ten, and he’s known Bucky for a week.

They’re on his balcony at night, his first sleepover.

“The stars mean you can make a wish,” Bucky says, pointing up.

“What do you wish for?”

Bucky grins. “Can’t tell you, or it won’t come true.”

It sounds logical to Steve, so he looks up and wishes that he and Bucky are friends forever, he wishes that all the things wring with him go away so he can play with the rest of the kids at recess and for the first time in his life, he really appreciates the stars. He makes his wishes and tells Bucky that the stars are pretty, and he, in turn, tells him about all the constellations he read about in his Pa’s book.

They carry on talking until they fall asleep, leaning on each other, warm in the summer eve.

Steve’s sixteen, halfway to handing Charon his silver coin, and staring out the window next to his bed. He hates the hospital with a passion, he’s spent far too much of his life stuck in here while his mother works just to keep him alive, and, not for the first time, he considers just giving up entirely, what’s the point, afterall, in a guy who has to fight all his life just to stay alive. According to the doctors, he’ll probably be dead by 25 anyway, 30, if he’s lucky, and he doesn’t want the next decade of his, and his Ma’s life to be spent just barely living.

He wishes to the stars dotted across the clear, dark skies that he has a quick and painless death, and for it to come fast, he wishes for his Ma and Bucky’s happiness - Lord knows he can’t give it himself.

He wishes and wishes and wishes and when he wakes up he knows for certain that God doesn’t exist. If He did, would He make Steve suffer so? Would He make his Ma suffer because of him? If he asked his Ma, she would tell him the story of Job once more, and tell him to have faith, and that’s how he knows that his Ma is so, so much better than him - she doesn’t give up, even when he’s been on his death bed so many times Hell is probably sick of it too (there’s no denying, no matter what Ma and Bucky say, he caused the people he loved to suffer, he’s going to Hell.).

He wakes up to the sun in his face and his Ma smiling down at him, relieved.

He’s eighteen and drunk, lying on top of his apartment building. He wants to see the stars, but the skies are cloudy, he wants to drink more, but the bottle’s empty and Bucky refuses to get more (it’s not like the stores are going to be open this late anyway).

He wants his Ma back.

The God he was taught about wouldn’t let a person like Sarah Rogers predecease someone like him, if He really existed, and everything still went the way it did, Steve thinks he would deck him again and again until all his bones were broken, and God would probably just laugh.

He imagines it, staring blankly up at starless, cloud-covered skies, speaking aloud, wishing for things that won’t come true.

He does the same the next day, and the next, until the week blurs together into one hazy mess of drinking and grey skies and tears

It’s a week after and he’s on the roof again, halfway through the bottle, when the sky starts crying with him. It’s devastating, loud, crashing against Steve and the cars below and the metal of the hang-overs of the stores, and Steve knows that he should go inside, lest he catches his death, but he can’t bring himself to, and just stays there, for hours probably, until the storm clears, and he’s probably sick, but finally, finally, he can see the stars, bright and glittering against the midnight blue sky.

He doesn’t wish for the impossible again.

I wish Ma rests well, God, if that’s the only thing you’ll ever do for me, let her rest well, please.

He’s twenty-one and they’ve declared war, and Steve can’t do anything about it, because he’s too damn weak, useless to even fight for his country. Those nights he wishes to the stars that he could do something, anything.

He’s twenty-five when a wish finally comes true, in the worst way possible.

They tell him that he’s doing something for his country, but he’s not. They’re using him as a performer, not a soldier.

He spends the nights wishing he could do more, be more, be enough.

And it’s not wishing that gets him away from it, it’s him actually doing something, it’s him who changes it, says ‘fuck you’ to General Phillips in the nicest way possible that doesn’t get him a dishonourable discharge.

He creates a team, a group. He gets to be so much more than he ever wished for.

They sit together in the firelight, making lewd images out of the stars, laughing and joking despite the horrors of the day, telling stories. They sleep next to the dying embers, under the stars, and for the first time, Steve Rogers isn’t unbearably lonely, nor is he a detriment to his peers, for the first time he thanks the stars (he’s given up on God entirely., but the stars are a nice replacement.)

He’s twenty-seven when he wishes again.

He’s in a blown-apart pub in Europe, wishing he could get drunk, wishing he was better, faster, smarter. Wishing and wishing and wishing until he’s so damn angry and sad he may as well be drunk.

He’s twenty-seven when he crashes the Valkyrie and dies, in the Arctic’s ‘summer’, when it’s months and months until the pole will see the stars.

He’s still twenty-seven, but it’s seventy years later, and aliens fall from the sky.

He’s twenty-seven (and also ninety-seven) when he thinks he sees his first falling star. Not a star, really, but a man in a metal suit. As he falls, he wishes that he lives.

It’s the first wish of this century that comes true.

Once again, he’s incredibly lonely. The team he’s been told to lead are fine, they’re ok, good people, strong people, but they’re not friends, Steve isn’t one of them, the way he was with the Howlies, Steve’s their CO, and they’re not in the trenches anymore, so there’s no real reason to make friends.

He spends a lot of time training, and at SHIELD, probably not enough sleeping, but he can’t-- he can’t wake up again and lose what little he has all over again. So he spends his nights stargazing.

The stars don’t change even though he can’t see many of them, the constellations he learned about so long ago, are still in the same place, though the man in the metal suit, Tony Stark, son of Howard, only in genes, really, and not much in anything else, tells him that they’re in a slightly different place, because of something called ‘red-shift’, but not enough to make it really significant.

“Unless you’re an astrophysicist,” Tony finishes, with a swig of his scotch, leaning over the railing parallel to Steve.

He’d pretty much ambushed Steve, he’d been on the roof, smoking, stargazing, when Tony had come up. He doesn’t hate it.

“Just a soldier,” Steve replies, smiling slightly, and Tony finishes the glass and goes back in after patting Steve on the shoulder, and Steve smokes two more cigarettes before he too tries to sleep.

The next morning, Steve finds a book on constellations, their origins and meanings, on his nightstand.

He’s twenty-eight, but sometimes he’ll joke about being ninety-eight.

Somehow, one of his favourite pastimes becomes stargazing with Tony. They’re equals now, not just him and Tony, but him and all the Avengers, and the new century isn’t as lonely as he once thought.

“Don’t you ever get bored?” Tony asks one night, looking up from his tablet.

“Of the stars?”

“They never change.”

Steve runs that over in his mind. He doesn’t go on the roof every day (turns out, sleeping is far more enjoyable when ice doesn’t flood one’s bones), and not for that long, but whenever he does, there’s half a chance that Tony might join him too, five minutes later with paperwork and two steaming mugs of coffee. A couple months ago, Tony put an actual table up here, and some chairs, he’d claimed that it was for himself, because his bones no longer enjoyed standing around in the cold, but Natasha had made a whip noise when Tony had mentioned it.

“They never change,” he parrots, as his answer. Tony harrumphs and glares at his tablet and Steve laughs, then laughs harder when Tony looks up to glare at him.

“What?” Steve says, still laughing, “You get tired of wishing?”

“You’re a five-year-old, Rogers,” Tony grumbles.

“Better than being fifty-five,” Steve quips, raising his eyebrows at Tony pointedly.

“Ohhhh FUCK you, Rogers, I’m younger than you!”

“You’re fifteen years older than me!”

Tony’s quiet for a second, processing that for the first time.

Finally, he says, “Nah.”

Steve looks at him in disbelief, “Nah?”

“Nah.”

Looking up at the sky, Steve wishes aloud, “I wish Tony believed he’s middle-aged.”

Tony grins at him, brighter than all the stars in the sky put together, “Won’t come true,” he says gleefully, “y’said it out loud.”

Steve, unable to think of anything better, grumbles back, “I’ll say you out loud,” which doesn’t have its intended effect at all.

“Oh yeah? You’ll be screaming my name huh?” Tony says, in that tone that makes Steve think, maybe he’s not just joking.

“You’d want that, wouldn’t you?” Steve says, matching his tone, teasing with an undercurrent of... something.

Tony just mutters something under his breath, which sounds suspiciously like “What am I gonna do with you, Rogers,” but Steve pretends that he has normal hearing and carries on with his drawing. The quiet isn’t lonely this time.

He’s thirty. Or a hundred.

He’s lucky.

He’s out of the city far enough that pollution doesn’t matter and he can see all the stars, properly and clearly and he makes a wish - something rare for him these days - and does something foolish.

And his best friend kisses him back.

Steve Rogers is thirty-one and, once again, halfway to handing Charon his silver coin, and there’s many things Tony’s willing to do for Steve, give him as many things as he wants, but this isn’t something he wants to fund, not if he can help it.

The doctors told him that he’s probably going to wake up, but not for at least a day, and he just has to go outside, the sight of Steve connected to so many tubes and machines, barely able to breathe on his own is too much for him. He stumbles out of the medbay to the elevator that’ll take him up to the roof.

He’s not a religious man, Howard had believed in science and science only, and his mom had told him that she’s been raised Catholic, and sometimes, in times of trouble, she’ll pray. He remembers seeing her clutching a cross pendant sometimes.

So he wishes on the stars instead, like Steve, regardless of how illogical wishing and praying are, fundamentally, but Steve had taught him that it meant hope, and by God, Tony could use all the hope and faith he could get.

He doesn’t dare say his wishes aloud, lest they become untrue, but stares, unblinkingly, at the night sky until his eyes are burning and he’s run out of promises and wishes he can make

They’re on the roof again, under the stars, again, and Steve makes another wish. He doubts it’s his last one, but it’s the only one he knows with a minimum of a hundred percent certainty is entirely futile, because he knows the outcome, because he knows what will happen, he knows that he doesn’t need to ask the ineffable forces above for help, but he wants to, just in case.

Tony says yes before he even gets down on one knee.

They don’t get married under the stars, because that’s utterly absurd, and Tony refuses to be mugged on his wedding day, but they do dance, long after everyone’s left, in the starlight. The sky is clear and beautiful, but neither groom looks up, nor cares, nor dares to look away from his husband, they have all they could ever wish for, after all.

happy steve bingo masterpost

#steve rogers x tony stark #stevetony #stony #stony fic #stevetony fic #steve rogers #tony stark #my fic #my writing #happy steve bingo #happystevebingo #happystevebingo2019 #maybe the title is a macbeth reference.#maybe its maybelline

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friendlylocalwhumper · 5 years ago

Text

finding the videos | telling lux | thunder

content warning: referenced/implied noncon.

Four safehouses in as many hours. They’re hard to find, impossible to get into. But for Lux, Emory would do the impossible.

He’s brought a few things for the search. An extra hoodie for Lux, clean and dry, big enough to hide away in. A picture of them together. A little plastic orb that glows with no batteries, and hangs itself in the air without hanging from a string - enchanted to hang in their bedroom by the ceiling like a little moon.

He hasn’t been able to convince many magic users with the enchanted object that he’s a warlock. A few have let him into their safehouses, kept an eye on him - but when he starts asking questions, they get paranoid quick. It reminds him of how much Lux doubts, how he asks hesitant questions, doesn’t believe things that are right before his eyes. Like they’ve all been tricked before.

“Have you seen him?” Emory asks, holding up the picture. In it, Lux’s arms are draped around him, and they’re both beaming, the sun shining behind them and making orange light peek through Lux’s curls.

“No way,” Mutters the witch who takes the photo from his hand. She turns it to see it better in the light from the cracked window - no electricity in here - and laughs out loud. “It’s the vet!”

“The vet? Like, veterinarian? Has he been healing animals?”

“What? He can heal?” He fingers tighten on the edge of the picture, eyes hard and calculating. “Fucker can heal?” At Emory’s watching her in return, outwardly guarded but secretly panicked at his slip-up, she continues, handing it back to him. “No. Vet, like veteran. New to most, but a few of us recognized him. From years ago. And he’s got the…” She smiles, shrugs, waves her hands vaguely; Emory watches her movement like any second she’ll cast a spell to send him flying out of the safehouse he doesn’t belong in. “You know. He acts like he’s seen some shit. Shifty eyes, always tense, sticks to corners, doesn’t sleep. Smart to be that way when big shit goes down. Not so smart for all the time. Guy’s gonna crash hard, sleep for a whole day, get himself swept up by cops or something.”

Emory waves the picture impatiently, gesturing for her to give him something to work with. Her eyes flick down to catch the colorful image again.

“He looks happy in that,” The witch muses curiously. “Didn’t know he could smile. You tryna find him to make him happy like that? Or to wipe him out? Warlocks that get searched for don’t usually end up alive.”

“I want him safe. I want him home.”

Her eyes glint, head tipping back. “Ohhhh. I get it. Well, listen. He’s not yours anymore. You don’t have magic, guy, and he’s with his kind now. I don’t know what shit you’re into, but you don’t own him anymore.”

Dark brown eyes flash with anger. “What? Own him? He’s my-”

“Boy toy, warlock pet, good boy. I know. New trend, you’ve obviously heard. Pick a witch or warlock off the street, beat the hell out of them, twist their head all up ‘til they’re tamed. ‘s fucked up. But, hey, whatever does it for you, you know? Long as no one tries something with me, I don’t care. We’re all fucked either way.”

“I’m not some fucking - I didn’t do that. He’s my boyfriend. God, you’re sick.”

“It’s a sick fucking world, dude.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” A near-glare finds its way onto his face, hours of frustration adding up to something that leaves a sour taste in his mouth. He’s only been met with poverty and violence and paranoia and, god, he thinks some part of him might hate magic users. Or hate how they have to live. The injustice of it is clashing with how much it’s torn at him today, and he just wants to get back to his part of town, to his nice house, with Lux safe and clean so he can pretend that warlocks can live normal lives.

“Boyfriend, then. Didn’t know Vet was a-”

“Watch it,” Growls Emory, and the witch’s eyes flicker with something as she takes a half-step back. He knows that she’s a little bit scared now. He doesn’t like that, but he’s not really in the mood to comfort a witch after the day he’s had.

“He’s not here.” She wants Emory gone, that’s clear. Wants it bad enough to lie?

“Mind if I look?”

Magic crackles in the hallway they stand in, red and restrained. The witch raises a hand, eyes locked on the threat before her. “Yeah, I do. Vet’s not here. Go look somewhere else.”

Emory’s just a little pissed at how this has gone, but as he decides how to react, he notices that it’s been quiet since he walked in. No warlocks sitting against the wall cradling injuries, nobody cursing or laughing drunkenly or using magic. This witch might be alone in this safehouse. He wonders what happened to the others.

“Alright. Fine. Just, if you see him, tell him to come home.”

Two more safehouses searched, and Emory has a new limp. Temporary, not like the one that crops back up for Lux sometimes. It’s nothing as bad as poor Curls’ once-dislocated hip, just bruises around his knee and down his shin. Those kicks were meant to break something so he couldn’t get away or put up a fight. Warlocks fight dirty.

For one of the first times in his life, Emory begged. He can’t fight as well as they could, so he begged, pulling the crumpled picture of Lux out of his pocket, swearing that he was just looking for the man he loves, not trying to hunt anyone down or get warlocks killed.

His hand shook as he raised the photo to show them, and they laughed at him for it. One of those moments where he thought he might be getting a glimpse into what it’s like to be Lux. It still makes him dizzy with humiliation, thinking about it hours later.

This safehouse doesn’t look as rundown as the others. The windows are securely boarded up, the stairs climbable, the front door sporting a lock that looks like it actually works.

Emory knocks like the magicless, hilariously out-of-place guy that he is.

There’s shuffling. Movement. Emory cradles his ribs sorely, waiting for the beating that comes with barging in somewhere he doesn’t belong.

The door creaks open, amber eyes taking stock of him instantly. Emory holds still.

“Whadda you want?” The magic user asks tersely.

Emory raises the photo. He’s too tired to beat around the bush. “Him. Curly hair, quiet, nervous. My name’s-”

“Emory,” The guy guesses, then pulls the door further open. “Yeah, he cries about you in his sleep. You gonna get him outta here? He pisses me off.”

Heart absolutely fluttering with relief, Emory steps inside. It’s good to hear that Lux has at least slept. “Why’s he piss you off?”

“Uh, ‘cause he’s a spineless crybaby that just gives you big scared eyes if you come near him? Vet or not, he’s annoying as shit. He likes you. You hit him? Listen, he’ll get over it, you just gotta hit somewhere no one can see the bruises. Trust me, he’ll stay.”

The words make Emory feel ill, but he doesn’t lash out. From this whole search, and even just from being with Lux, he knows to listen to more than words. If he had to guess, he’d say this amber-eyed fugitive is speaking from the experience of being the one who was hit, not the one who did the hitting, even if the warlock is still smirking. He’s guarded like all the others.

He leads Emory inside, flicking either hand this way and that to take down some of the wards that keep non-warlocks out. Leads the way into a big room that looks like it was made by tearing down one wall between a sitting room and a kitchen. There’s a card game going where warlocks and witches sit on the floor, a pile of random things in the middle of the circle.

And there, over on the couch, is Lux. The warlock is halfway curled up, knees up by his chest where he sits, head lying on couch cushion at his side, eyes closed. It looks like he fell asleep sitting folded up there, shoved into the corner of the couch, far from the others with his back to the wall.

There are bruises on his face, and near his throat, and peeking out from under his ratty sleeves. Dirt is streaked across his skin. There’s blood staining the couch, but Emory can’t tell if that’s normal here, or if it’s from Lux.

“Curls,” He whispers as he sits gingerly on the couch. “Lux, honey?”

Lux doesn’t stir. When’s the last time that he slept? Two days ago? More?

The amber-eyed warlock scoffs and steps forward while Emory leans closer, raising a hand to place it gently on his boyfriend’s arm. Emory’s prepared for Lux to react badly, to be startled and then emotional.

But the other warlock grabs a fistful of Lux’s shirt and hauls him up off the couch to punch him square in the jaw. Lux jerks awake, gasping, scrabbling to get his legs under him. His hands shake and push against the guy holding him upright.

“Morning, sunshine,” Amber eyes mocks and lets Lux stumble back with a shove. “You’ve got a visitor.”

Lux’s eyes find Emory, and his legs give out just in time for him to fall back down onto the couch. A sleepy, shuddering breath huffs out of him. “Em?” As sleep fades he gets more tense. “Em, wha-at, what’re you doing here? F’ck’off,” He growls at the warlock who lingers to watch how the reunion goes. Amber eyes stalks away.

“I was looking for you. To bring you home. You can come home, Lux, just come back with me. I messed up, I know, I’m sorry-”

“You didn’t. Em, look, it’s - this is where I belong. If you ever wanted to let me go and have a life that’s, that’s not sad and stressful and, and if you want a boyfriend who doesn’t - who isn’t me, this is your chance. Just let me go.” Lux is hugging himself, speaking to his knees, like he’s been practicing this in his head for days, resigning himself to it. There is exhaustion in every inch of his posture.

“You don’t belong here, honey.”

“I do, I… don’t belong where you live.” He’s curling in on himself, hiding from Emory’s support and entreaties. Only when his head is tucked down does he continue. “‘m messed up. Dirty. Not, not someone you wanna be close to, wanna touch. Hnn.” A soft, involuntary frightened sound escapes him at the very concept of touch. It’s been less than a day since, since the last one. He hasn’t even been out of the house, away from Emory, for long. He’s already been pressed into the ground and left barely able to limp more than two times (three? Four? He lost consciousness, and the days melted together, so he can’t be sure).

Emory touches Lux’s shoulders, lightly, lovingly, and the warlock draws a shuddering breath. “Curls. If you don’t belong there, then I don’t either. I just want to be with you. Even if it has to be here. I wanna watch your back, keep you safe, let you get some sleep. Help with your shoulders. Keep the nightmares away.” Lux takes a tumultuous breath that sounds like it could peak and crash into a sob. “I just love you so much, Lux, you’re all I want.”

“I-I, I’m bro-oken, Em, ‘m used, you don’t want…”

“I do want you. Your voice, your mind, your heart. You’re a whole world, honey, you’re so beautiful to me. What’s happened to you doesn’t change that.” The videos. Lux thinks he’s too dirty, too used up to be good to anyone. “Lux, when… when you kiss me. When you lay next to me. When I wake up and you smile because you were waiting for me. It just makes me so happy. It feels right. You’re the one I want forever, Lux, I want to be at your side forever. You’re the boy I wanna marry, Curls. Please come home.”

“I, hnnn, it’s…” Tremors crawl from his spine to his fingers. “O-o-okay. I, I wanna go ho-ome.” Emory’s fingers on his shoulders are massaging relief into the aching joints. “Wanna go home.”

It’s one of the hardest things he’s ever done, pulling Lux up to his feet to go. It’s a sad, tired, tender moment that sits lodged in space, time slowing to a stop like it’s so wrong for Lux to be so worn down that the universe is lingering to watch and mourn. Pulling Lux up to his feet puts a strain on his shoulders that pulls a new sound out of him, a choked-back whimper that makes the other magic users perk up. They listen, feigning disinterest, to gauge whether Emory’s hurting Lux, whether there’s a threat among them.

Up on his feet, Lux sways, lines etched into his face from the pain of standing, all the color drained out of him. His fingers are wrapped tightly around Emory’s arms for balance and it’s barely keeping him from falling like a marionette with its strings cut.

“Do you want me to carry you, Curls?” Asks Emory, wishing he could sweep his love up, kiss his cheek, bury his face in those curls and just listen to his boyfriend’s breathing.

“I can walk.” The others are watching. Listening. Lux doesn’t feel safe showing how badly he needs help. Emory won’t push it.

So they attempt a smooth, careful walk toward the door. Lux limps stiffly and makes soft sounds, cheeks flushed with humiliation, tremors running through his legs. If he fell, Emory would catch him and pick him up. It would be easier. But Lux stays upright. They make it to the door, and outside, the warlock taking short, shallow breaths and faltering in his pained steps.

“What’s wrong, Curls?”

The warlock squints into the natural light as he peers out to flick his gaze over everything that moves. “Outside. ‘s not safe.”

Emory’s brow furrows slightly. No, he guesses it’s not, judging by the state of his boyfriend. “Not when you’re alone.”

Lux shudders, ducking his head down, but he doesn’t apologize as if he’s scared that he pissed Emory off. He’s more closed off than that right now. Emory rubs circles between his shoulder blades for a moment before getting them moving again. “It’s okay, Curls. I got you. Don’t gotta watch for danger anymore, or be tough. You can relax.”

“N-nnh, not until we’re back,” Pants Lux, taking halting, agonizing steps down from the porch to the sidewalk. “N’t ‘til we’re back home.” His stamina is fading fast. Making it to the car is starting to seem like too high a demand. “Even, th-, hhh, then. I dunno, if. If it’s, sa-a-, -afe… nnnh…”

The warlock makes an airy sound as his legs fold under him, eyes fluttering closed. Emory cries out as he kneels to follow the momentum, arms wrapping around the warlock’s middle to keep him from flopping over and hitting his head on the pavement. “Curls, honey, are you -” Lux isn’t responding, isn’t tense in his arms. He’s floppy, not even eking out a whimper. Passed out.

#whump #drabble #lux #emory #angst #rape tw #referenced or implied noncon #losing consciousness #flinching #shaking #pain #mine

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amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines · 5 years ago

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Steve//Boys Like You (part 2)

Request: Please do a part 2 to “Boys like you” ??!!!! The reader can end up with Billy ??

part 1 part 3

“Hey! Helloooo.” A finger snaps in front of your face and you jolt from your thoughts. Two weeks ago Steve and Nancy got back together and they’ve been the longest two weeks of your life. And you once went to summer camp with Carol.

“Huh? What?” You ask and look around. Stood beside you in none other that Billy Hargrove. The new kid in town and the king of Hawkins High. Taking over Steve pretty much as soon as he arrived.

“You’re stood in front of my locker.” He says and you look between him and the lockers you’re leaning on. Steve, Nancy, Carol and Tommy are talking about a double date they’re going on tomorrow and so you’ve been stuck on the outside. But then again, they were already talking before you arrived and you’re not entirely sure they’ve noticed you yet.

“Oh, sorry.” You mumble a quick apology and move out of his way. He nods before opening his locker.

“No problem.” He replies and starts to sort through the contents of his locker which is surprisingly quite clean. “Why’d you seem so shocked for me to be talking to you?” He asks and you look at him confused. Why is Billy Hargrove talking to you? You’d think you’d be the last person he’d talk to seeing as though your friends with Steve.

“Oh you know. Not a lot of people notice me, let alone involve me in conversation.” You shrug and start picking at your nails.

“Aren’t you best friends with Harrington? I thought that would be grounds for everyone to notice you.”

“Apparently not.”

“Hmmm.” He hums and you look at him expectantly.

“What?” You urge him to talk. He opens his mouth to speak but is cut off by Steve shouting your name, making his jaw clench. You smile slightly to yourself before looking at Steve.

“Yeah?” You ask, finally happy to be included in a conversation so you don’t have to talk to Billy anymore.

“Can I copy your English homework?” He asks and your face drops. You can tell Billy is watching the entire interaction, his gaze burning a hole into the side of your head and you can almost feel his smirk as he sees you be ignored by the former king.

“...yeah. Sure.” You force a smile and hand him the homework.

“Thanks! You’re the best. I’ll get it back to you later.” He says happily and shoves it in his pocket.

“You can give it back to me after school.” You tell him and he looks at you confused.“You know? When I come over?”

“Ohhhh, yeah about that. Me and Nancy are hanging out tonight. I totally meant to to tell. Sorry, but we’ll hang out soon I promise.” He apologizes and you sigh.

“Okay.” You nod and go back to leaning on the locker.

“Anyway so David-” He goes back to talking to Tommy and you almost forget that Billy is still stood beside you. Almost being the operative word.

“Ohhhhhh. I get it.”

“Get what?” You ask, your tone harsh as you turn to look at him.

“You’re in love with Harrington.” He teases and you roll your eyes.

“What! Are you out of your mind?” You argue but his smirk grows.

“No, but I think you are. Harrington? Really? He likes girls like Nancy Wheeler.” He replies and looks the pair of them up and down. “Like, really?”

“I’m kind of like Nancy Wheeler.” You shrug and look down at the floor.

“Exactly. So maybe you should think about what’s wrong with you. He likes the original model, not the knock-off brand.” He replies and your eyes widen.

“What the hell?” You spit, pushing yourself off the lockers so you can look at him properly. Your gaze is harsh as you stare at him, you’re basically shooting daggers at him, but he seems unfazed.

“Look, I didn’t mean it like that. All I’m saying is that you can do a hell of a lot better that Steve Harrington. Maybe you wanna take a look at yourself as to why you continue to be his second best. But in my opinion your much prettier than Nancy ‘priss’ Wheeler.” He explains making you scoff.

“I bet you say that to all the girls.” You roll your eyes.

“No, I tell them they’re prettier than whoever they’re second best to.” He replies sarcastically.

“Of course. It was lovely talking to you Billy, but I’ve got places to be and backgrounds to blend into.” You reply and start to walk away. You’re bored of being ignored by the people you don’t want to be, and taken notice of by the guy you’d rather not be.

“For what its worth, I don’t think you blend into the background.” He shouts after you and you walk quicker.

“Goodbye Billy!” You wave him off, not bothering to turn around.

“Just think about what I said.” He says and you roll your eyes. Yeah, like thats gonna happen.

-----

Turns out that did happen. All day you’d been thinking about what Billy said, and every time it seemed to sting more. Why didn’t Steve want you? You’ve known him for longer, you know basically everything about him. You have been through a hell of a lot together. And you’re kind of like Nancy. Just a cooler version. Ew, who calls themself cool? Not cool people apparently. No wonder Steve likes Nancy and not you. She’s the perfect girl next door, and you’re the actual girl next door.

“Pssst. Did you think anything more of what I said?” Billy’s voice makes you jump and you lift your head from the homework you’re doing to glare at him. Sitting in the library alone after school is supposed to mean you’re left alone. Not being bothered by some asshole who can’t keep it in his pants.

“No Billy. I have better things to do than think about whatever bullshit your spouting today.” You reply sweetly and his eyes widen at your tone.

“Ouch. Somebody really is butthurt about Harrington not loving them.”

“Shut up Hargrove.” You spit and he rolls his eyes.

“Oooo, resorting to last names now? You’ve got more fire than I thought Y/l/n.” He says with a playful tone in his voice and you fake gag.

“Jesus Christ, do you ever quit.”

“Hmmm. Nope.”

“Why are you doing this Billy? I already have enough boy drama I don’t need you sticking yourself into it.” You ask, eventually giving up on the homework in front of you.

“Believe it or not, I’m actually trying to be nice to you.” He says and you raise an eyebrow.

“Why? We’ve never had a conversation before this morning and now I feel like everywhere I turn you’re there with your stupid smirk and big hair.”

“Ooooo. Are you flirting?” He winks.

“Ew. No.” You argue. “Why are you being nice to me?”

“Because believe it or not. I was in a position similar to yours once.” He replies and a smirk spreads over your lips. He narrows his eyes at the look on your face while you lean into him.

“Awww, you like Harrington.”

“Was. Jesus Christ, maybe your less like Nancy and more like Steve.” He shakes his head while you laugh. “Back in Cali I had a friend who I thought I was in love with. We were best friends and neighbours and she helped me through some very difficult times. But when it came to actually noticing me, she always looked straight through me. Right to the cuter, funnier guys around me and I put up with it. I did her homework, I supported her when she needed me. Hell, I even cleaned up her messy breakups. Always there for her, but never really seen.” He starts to explain and you can see him become more and more uncomfortable.

“What happened?” You ask and rest a hand over his. He looks at your hand and then at you, and you send him a soft smile.

“She started dating my other best friend and I was pushed even more into the background. Although we did kiss, just once. After a party where her and her boyfriend had an argument and she came to my house. I told her everything would be okay and she kissed me on my sofa. Then the next day...she was back with him. And I had to deal with being in the background again.”

“Billy...I had no idea. I’m so sorry that happened to yo-Wait, did that actually happen?” You narrow your eyes.

“No! I can’t believe you fell for that.” He laughs loudly and tears start to prick at your eyes. “You really have to be careful about who you tell your secrets to...and who’s around to hear them.”

“You’re an ass!” You shout and grab your stuff.

“I was only teasing! Come on Y/n.” He grabs your arm, pulling you back to him. But you’ve had enough. Steve treats you like trash, like your only his back up plan. And Billy just thinks your some stupid little girl who’s problems are to be made fun of. Tommy and Carol only acknowledge you when they want someone to bully, and Nancy always looks at you like she’s wary of you. Like your some sort of femme fatale who’s gonna seduce her boyfriend right from under her nose. You should be so lucky.

“You know what Billy?” You start angrily, getting in his face. “You may walk around like your king of the school, but all you are in a lonely, pathetic little boy who thinks if he’s mean to enough people and sleeps with enough women he’ll manage to fill the void in his heart that he’s had since a child. But thats not how it works. Grow up Billy. Otherwise you’re gonna be left behind.” You shout before storming out. You’re almost out of the school when a hand on your upper arm pulls you back.

“Y/n? Y/n are you okay?” Steve’s worried voice makes you feel sick. Great, thats all I need.

“Go away Steve.” You sob.

“What?” He asks confused.

“I said leave me alone Steve! Go find Nancy or something.” You shout and push him away from you making him stumble a bit. You run out the school quickly, the doors swinging behind you and you can still hear Steve inside.

“Y/n?” He says confused.

“Y/n! Wait up.” Billy shouts from down the corridor as he runs after you.

“Hargrove? What did you do to her.” Steve asks, pushing Billy’s chest.

“Nothing worse than what you did.” He spits and Steve’s eyebrows knit together in confusion.

“What?!” He asks and Billy takes the opportunity to push past him and follow you.

“Y/n! Y/n, I’m sorry okay. I didn’t mean it. I just-I dunno. Sometimes I don’t think before I speak.” He shouts after you and you stop abruptly, making him walk into you.

“Sometimes?” You ask sarcastically as he steadies the two of you.

“Yeah. Why don’t I make it up to you?” He suggests, his expression softening. And you can almost see a smile appear, instead of that stupid smirk.

“How are you gonna do that.” You cross your arms looking away from him.

“Let me take you out?”

“Excuse me?” You ask, quickly looking at him.

“As an apology. We can go to that diner that everyone seems to go on about. And I’ll buy you whatever you want.”

“Is this a date? Because I’m not going on a date with you.” You narrow your eyes.

“No! Its an apology.” He replies. “It’ll could be date...depending on how it goes.” He winks making you roll your eyes. “Oh come onnnn. I know you don’t have anything better to do.”

“Fine. But any funny business and I will not hesitate to kick you where it hurts. Got it?” You warn.

“Got it.” He nods.

“Good. Now lets get out of here.”

“Don’t you need to tell Harrington.” He asks and you look at him like he’s got two heads.

“He doesn’t control me. And like he’d notice.” You say the last part sadly and Billy sighs.

“Thats my girl.”

“Your girl? Have you got short term memory loss?” You ask, your mood picking up again at the opportunity to tease him.

“Sorry. Thats...a girl?”

“Wow, Billy. You’re so good with words.” You tease and he laughs.

“Get in the damn car.” He shakes his head and you giggle softly. You’re about to get in the car when Steve shouting your name stops you.

“Y/n, I’m so glad I caught up with you. Nancy cancelled our plans so we can hang out again.” He jogs towards you.

“Sorry Steve. I have plans with Billy tonight. I’ll see you around.” You shrug and send him a small smile before getting in the car. He looks at Billy suspiciously, who’s just smirking at him.

“What’s your game Hargrove.” He asks.

“Nothing. Just treating a pretty girl to a nice night. Something you should have done a long time ago. But after tonight she’s gonna be so over you...and with a bit of luck, under me.” He replies with a wink before also getting into the car. Steve goes for him but it��s too late. He’s already driving off and now Steve starts to worry.

What if he ends up in the background of your life?

#steve harrington #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #stranger things steve #steve stranger things #stranger things #stranger things imagine #billy hargrove #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove x you #stranger things billy #billy stranger things #boys like you

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ladynox · 4 years ago

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The Great New Mexico Fake-Off (2/?)

Summary:

Michael expands his 'clientele' to his siblings. Jury's still out on whether or not he actually tolerates them.

(Collab’d with the wonderful @beautifulcheat

Read on AO3 or below

The next cake he made was a dark chocolate mint cake, for Max. He laughed himself sick the entire time he was making it, because Max may finally be dating Liz but that didn’t mean Michael was going to stop making fun of him for being an utter dork.

He walked into the Crashdown a week later with a stupid grin on his face and plopped the cake box in front of Max. “Oh is this from that infamous baker you’re dating?” Max asked. “Yes--No! I’m not dating anyone!” Michael huffed, dropping down in the seat across from Max. “Who’s Michael not dating?” Liz asked, stopping in front of their table with a stack of dirty plates in hand. “Maria told me Michael’s got a not-girlfriend,” Max explained, absolutely delighted in, for once, being the annoying brother as opposed to being the annoyed brother. “Apparently she’s a fantastic baker and he keeps pawning off the cakes she makes for him to Maria, of all people. Total mystery as to why.” Max gave him a look that told him that there was absolutely no mystery there, at all. “Mikey!” Liz was aghast. Michael’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance at the use of that nickname.

“Right?!” Max agreed, gleeful. Apparently Max-with-a-girlfriend was just a pain in the ass. “There is no girlfriend! It’s just a client for fuck’s sake!” Michael was not making cakes for Maria so she could think he was a shit boyfriend. It took almost six damn months to prove that he was trustworthy after all the shit he pulled with Lindsay, and even though they’re not dating anymore. He hated the idea of Maria badly about him.That’s not what making those cakes was about. It was about-- He must have been pouting because Liz laughed and ruffled his hair with the hand not balancing the plates. “Give me a second and I’ll grab some plates and silverware. I have to try this mystery baker’s love confections.” “I hate you,” Michael said as Liz walked off, still laughing.

“We’re just teasing,” Max said, probably feeling a little guilty about the teasing. But Michael didn’t pay it too much mind because Liz’s words reminded him of what Sanders had said before.

“It’s something you do for the people you love. Or at least can fuckin tolerate.”

Liz returned a few minutes later with some plates, silverware and coffees, and sat down next to Max. They shared a kiss before Max opened the box. “Ohhhh yes dark chocolate!” Michael was pretty pleased with himself. He’d done a great job with the dark chocolate ganache. Yes dammit, it was ganache. He’d gotten it right this time - completely smooth all around the cake. There was not one bump to be seen. He’d also been practicing piping and made a few basic flowers out of whipped ganache, adding food coloring to make them green. He’d practiced the flowers a few times before putting them on the cake too. He could draw all right in a notebook but doing it on cake with a piping bag was something completely different. They still weren’t the prettiest flowers, to his critical eye. He would not have given this cake to Maria, but for Max? It was more than fine.

“Is that mint?” Max frowned, pointing at the green flowers. Thankfully Michael didn’t have to lie. Liz had swiped her finger over a fluffy bit of flower and popped it into her mouth, to check for him. Michael privately thought that the way Max looked at Liz while she sucked on her finger was pathetic. “No chocolate,” Liz said cheerfully. Max looked like he’d totally forgotten about the cake. “It’s really good too.” She swiped up the rest of the flower with another finger and Michael was starting to worry that the table would rise six inches -- or probably more on-brand and dramatically, every lightbulb in the place would blow.

And normally Michael would be disturbed by that thought, but it did mean that Max was too distracted by Liz to pay attention to the slice of cake being deposited in front of him. He just mechanically took a bite and... “Ugh.” “What?” Liz’s eyes were wide because Max was looking at her with such disappointment in his eyes. Like when you’re playing fetch with a dog and pretend to throw the ball but the dog realizes it. That kind of disappointment. “Not funny, Liz. You know I hate mint.” “It’s not mint!” Liz repeated in response to Max’s withering look. Which Michael is pretty sure is the first time Max Evans has ever looked at Liz Ortecho with anything but blind adoration. Would their relationship survive such a shock? Would Max go home now and flog a Scarlet M on his back?

“Oh my God, Max,” Liz was saying. “I didn’t betray you--” “Et Tu --” “Oh my God Max!” She repeated with more emphasis. Now she was laughing and Max could barely keep his frown in place. Michael grabbed a fork and took a piece of cake from Max’s plate. “No, that’s definitely mint Ortecho.” He grinned.

“You’re a dick.” Max complained. “Did you specifically ask your new girlfriend to make this trap of a cake?”

“My friend might have been taking a few pointers.” Michael grinned.

Liz looked like she was about to tear into him, when her attention was diverted, thankfully, by a new customer. “Alex hey!”

Oh, crap.

Liz got up, going to hug Alex. “Is it 3 already?” She asked, glancing at her watch. “Let me go see if your order’s ready.”

“Sure.” Alex was standing next to Michael, suddenly, looking down at them. “Another cake, Guerin?” he asked, with a raised eyebrow.

Michael just shrugged.

“Apparently the mystery girlfriend shares Michael’s shitty sense of humor.” Max said, picking around the mint parts. Michael was going to kill Max for mentioning the girlfriend again. “Want some? There’s no way I’m going to be able to finish it. It’s mint chocolate.”

“I thought mint was your favorite?” Alex asked, picking up a fork so he could try it. Michael tried to perfect the art of staring at him intently but also looking extremely nonchalant. But of course Alex’s face didn’t give much away. He looked like he didn’t hate it, but it wasn’t any sort of pure pleasure, mind blown sort of look.

Liz laughed as she came back with a bag of food. “Max is apparently a romantic idiot who drank shakes he hated for over a decade just so I wouldn’t be embarrassed.” She said, leaning down for a kiss. “Minty. Stop eating it if you hate it.” “I don’t want it to go to waste.” Max complained. “It isn’t that bad.” The dark chocolate was still very good, Michael knew. Rich and a little cream.

“Don’t take this the wrong way.” Liz said, running her hands over Max’s hair… and leaning down to punctuate her words with kisses. “But you… are a weirdo.”

Alex laughed at them, setting his fork down. “I’ve gotta go.”

“Lemme ring you up.” Liz said lightly, pulling away from Max.

Alex nodded. “Tell your girlfriend thanks,” he said, with a glint to his eye that either meant that the jig was really close to being up or Alex was jealous.

He wasn’t so optimistic as to assume the latter.

But when Liz came back he did ask her, in the most roundabout way possible, what Alex had bought. He still ended up getting an ‘oh Mikey’ look for his troubles. When he finally made her a cake, he was gonna fill it with tartar sauce.

*** Since Alex remained a frustrating enigma, Michael needed to collect more data. And there was only so much in-person stalking Michael could do, both from a practical have-no-money standpoint and a definitely-gonna-get-caught standpoint. It was time, he realized, to start thinking outside the box, which is why he rolled by Prasong’s restaurant before they opened, during prep time.

“Prasong, my man.” He grinned at the owner of the Thai restaurant.

“Guerin.” Prasong looked wary. “I don’t owe you any freebies.”

Michael put on his very best smile. “I’m not looking for food. Just looking for information.”

Prasong looked suspicious, folding his arms, clearly waiting for Michael to spit it out.

“Rumor has it that Alex Manes comes here once in a while?” The suspicion didn’t fade… it just got thicker. “I need to know what he orders.” “The hell are you into, Guerin?”

“It’s just for a project Prasong. I promise I’m not some crazy stalker.”

Prasong snorted. “This is crazy stalker shit though.” He pointed out.

Michael sighed. “Look, I’ll take a look at that fryer of yours for free. I know it’s on the fritz.”

“Fryer is fine.” Prasong protested.

“Your egg rolls last week say otherwise.” Michael tried to keep the smirk off of his face. “Kinda soggy, you know?”

“My fryer is not responsible for you taking too long to eat.” He snapped, then reconsidered. “But… fine. You can take a look at it.” “You’ll tell me what Alex orders?”

Prasong rolled his eyes. “Fine. Not my fault if he takes out a restraining order on your dumb ass.”

“Perfect.” Michael said, turning to go.

“Hey!” Prasong called out. “Fryer isn’t going to fix itself.” Right. “Just getting my tools, man.” He called out over his shoulder. It was gonna be a long day. He hated working on fryers. ***

About a week later, Prasong was in the Pony. Michael even bought him a beer before grilling him, because he was in a giving sort of mood.

“Bro he's got a boyfriend.” Prasong started, without preamble, when Michael set the beer down in front of him.

Michael rolled his eyes. “I mean. For now, yeah.”

Prasong shook his head. “This is not a good road you're on bro. I know this kind of longing, but you gotta let it go. He don't want you, bro.”

”Well I hope you’re feeling better now that you’ve channeled Kyle Valenti during his frat boy days….” Michael said, dryly, taking a drink of his beer.

Prasong rolled his eyes a little. “Oh, like Thai guys can’t be in a frat? Sigma Chi for life.”

“Gross.” Michael laughed though. “Fine, can you ditch the bros long enough to give me the information I need or do I need to break into your place later and re-break your fryer?”

Prasong groaned, and looked at him with something approaching pity. “Look, drunken noodle on the house to ease the pain.”

“No takebacks Prasong.” Michael pounced on that, because he never, ever said no to free food. He also wasn’t about to be deterred. “Now, spill.”

Prasong sighed, deeply. “Green curry, spicy, and a beer. They split Khao Tom Mad for dessert.”

“Great.” He… honestly wasn’t sure how that was helpful. Maybe something coconut? Banana? No, that didn’t feel right. He’d have to think about it. Still, he got a free meal out of it, so he couldn’t complain too much. “So I’ll pick up that drunken noodle tomorrow?” Michael asked with a grin. “My heart is very broken.”

Prasong looked frustrated. “Anyone ever tell you you’re an asshole, Guerin?” “Every day of my life.” And Michael didn’t even try to keep the smirk off his face as he clapped him on the shoulder lightly and headed over to the pool tables.

This baking habit was getting expensive, after all. ***

He knew he had to walk a real fine line with Isobel. She had a great palate, but if he wasn't’ careful, she’d sniff him out like he was Tanqueray, and he was not ready to deal with her nosy sister bullshit.

But if he didn’t bring her anything, that would be just as suspicious. Especially after he brought Max something. Izzy’s page in his notebook was filled with things she liked. Sweet lattes, strawberries, everything citrus. He just had to figure out the opposite of that. Well, not the opposite in the sense that Max’s trap cake was, but something that wouldn’t ping her as being made for her.

He finally settled on cake pops. Well settled is the wrong word. Settled implied that Michael hadn’t chosen to make Izzy cake pops because he forgot to grease the pan for a lemon poppy cake he was making for Maria. Settled implied that Michael hadn’t been about to scrape the cake into the trash a moment before remembering that Isobel sometimes enjoyed buying cake pops at Starbucks with her overly sweet lattes.

And there was no way Isobel would know that he knew how to make cake pops. Well, he didn’t know. But how hard could it be? He understood the basics. Take a cake, smash it and blend it with frosting. He made a nice tart lemon frosting and spent what felt like eons blending until smoothed. While scrolling pinterest (another secret that couldn’t even be tortured out of him), he was inspired by lemon shaped pops. Izzy, like Maria, was all about aesthetics. The two of them were actually more similar than Michael cared to consider honestly. Trying to roll the dough into lemons was hard though and at first Michael thought he was just bad at it. But then he decided to try sticking the room temperature dough into the fridge for a couple hours. He was very proud of himself when his idea worked. The dough was much easier to manipulate once it was a little chilled.

Michael had no intention of buying fancy straws. He had a ton of paper straws in one of his junk drawers from the Thai place. Prasong was all about the environment. So while the dough was chilling in the fridge, he took some straws and cut them in half. He briefly considered trying to paint them but decided that was unnecessary and he was too lazy for it anyway. Instead he worked on some calculations for his console -- or at least tried too. He found he wasn’t quite in the mood to work on an escape plan. Instead he started watching another cooking show.

Never able to sit still for very long, Michael ended up making yellow sugar crystals with regular sugar and food coloring while watching the cooking show. It definitely made the cake pops look prettier when he rolled them gently in the sugar crystals. And finally with his make-shift ziplock piping bag, he was able to make a couple lemon leaves on each pop. Which -- if he were sharing this with anyone -- he could wax poetic about how much of a pain in the ass that was. At least 4 pops were destroyed in the attempt. But they were a delicious sacrifice.

*** Michael stopped by Izzy’s new townhouse the next day. It was in town and smaller than she was used to, but Izzy was already well under way into making it her home. This was his second time here and the interior design had already been updated -- new paint on the walls, a couple pieces of new furniture. The place was already a lot more authentically Isobel than the place she’d shared with Noah, brighter colors, funkier design. It was good to see. He’d never really liked that Stepford Wife place she had with Noah. Though he did notice the snake plant he got her for a housewarming present was, somehow, dying.

Before he could say anything about the plant, Izzy gasped, “I’m finally getting a “not” girlfriend cake!” Michael rolled his eyes, but he didn’t argue. With his annoyingly perceptive sister, maybe it was better for his secret if she thought there was another woman. He put the box on the kitchen counter. Instead of spending too much time eyeing Isobel’s large, comfy kitchen, he went to rescue the plant from certain death. Izzy realized what he was doing almost immediately, laughing. “Sorry Michael.” “You know I got this for you because you were saying you were interested in gardening.” He said, checking the soil. Bone dry. “I mean I am but I’ve just been busy with Blaire--” “Ok. No more details. And honestly, it doesn’t matter how busy you are, all you have to do is like water this once a month! Also this is a terrible corner for it. I mean, low light doesn’t mean no light.” Chiding her, good-natured.

“I meant to Google….” But she did stand next to him and dutifully listened to his lecture.

“Just try to be a bit kinder to it.” He said, shaking his head, eventually.

“Kinder?” Izzy laughed. “You’re such a dweeb.” “Oh, shut up and open the box,” Michael said and placed the plant in a better spot with bright light.

He turned back to her just in time to see her face grow into a wide smile. “These are adorable!” Her cellphone materialized in her hand and she took a bunch of pictures from all kinds of angles.

Michael tried not to grin too big. He was really proud of them, honestly. “She brought them over today, and I know you like lemon, so…” “Mmhm.” Izzy was taking a selfie of one of them up to her mouth, grinning… and then popping it into her mouth. “So good.”

“Yeah?” He stole another one of them, trying to feign surprise over how good they were. “Oh hell yes.”

Izzy laughed… and she was tapping on her phone, as she grabbed another one. “You should make us some lemondrops. Just complete the theme, hm?”

Michael laughed. “A little complicated. Maybe just a couple mimosas?” “God, Michael, you’re so boring. You dated a bartender for like a year, did you learn nothing?”

“Why don’t you put your phone down and help then?” He says, with a laugh.

“Hmmm. I guess. Think this is good enough to post? She turned her phone to show him the instagram post she was about to publish, that selfie with the pop, plus a bunch of others of the pops themselves. But what caught his eye was the caption.

Adorable cake pops made by my equally adorable brother.

Oh god damnit. Michael groaned. “Isobel, I’ve told you..”

“Please, Michael.” She cut him off, smirking. “How long have I fucking known you? You’re not a master secret-keeper. You’re actually terrible at secrets. Are you gonna fess up? I don’t jump into people’s heads anymore, but I have ways of making you talk.”

“What the hell, Iz, I’m awesome at secrets.”

To Isobel’s credit, she didn’t laugh. Much. “I won’t post it. But you could stop lying to me, you idiot.” She said, reaching for his cheeks. “I’m potentially the future mother of your children, you know.”

He grumbled. “Do not make fun of me for this.”

“Oh Michael,” she said, shaking her head a bit. “I’m your sister. Making fun of you is my universe-given right.”

“I hate you,” he said, batting her hands away from his face. “Also that’s a really weird thing to say right after saying you’re gonna mother my children.”

“Poor baby,” she says, laughing. “Booze will help.”

“Nothing hard,” he started. Isobel raised her eyebrow. “Trying this new thing where I don’t get wasted midday.” “Baking, gardening and temperance. You really are becoming domestic.” She smirked in response to the murderous look on his face.

“Champagne it is,” she said, lightly, whipping up a pair of French 75s, with a bit of a lemon nailpolish remover twist.

“You’re so pretentious.” He took the flute from her.

Isobel laughed, raising her glass to him. “There’s no shame in being a fancy bitch.” She took a sip, leveling a serious look at him. “Look. You can use my kitchen. I’ve got plenty of counterspace and a kitchenaid that my creepy alien sociopath of a husband bought me because he apparently didn’t know me at all.”

“Why didn’t you get rid of that, by the way?” He asked, looking over at it, all shiny and imposing on the kitchen counter.”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, kitchenaids are expensive, and it looks cool…? Look, you can inexpertly psychoanalyze my trauma recovery, or you can just shut up and stop looking a gift horse in the mouth.”

“I…” Michael started. Frowning. It was one thing to admit he was baking. It was another to accept help from Isobel, but… he did want to get his hands on that kitchenaid. And her fancy oven that actually had accurate temperature control. And her stove which would be way easier to temper chocolate on than his stove.

He groaned. Her look was more excited than smug, which is the only reason he caved. “Okay fine.” At least now he could stop using his powers to blend shit.

#roswell new mexico #rnm #roswell nm #michael guerin #isobel evans #malex evans #echo #liz ortecho #alex manes #malexa #eventually #malex #miluca #i think that's all the tags in the universe lol

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itsclownhours · 4 years ago

Conversation

merlin as tumblr posts again because when i edited a typo in the original it fucked up the formatting

everyone: you have to make time for yourself

morgana: *stays up until 1 am every night crying* me time

morgana: ohhhh so the pain is forever and endless i get it now

young!mordred: once i learn how to read and write it’s over for you hoes

lancelot, in cursive: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: what does this say

elyan: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: bitch me neither that’s why i asked

arthur, to merlin, about lancelot: is he...y’know…*gestures downard to super hell*

uther, straight: hey what’s up guys do you want to go get some food

arthur and morgana, gay: ??????

uther: oh sorry i mean asgdhjdhs guys do you??? want some food??? lmao ashdjdjhs

arthur and morgana: oh! agshdjjshsj yeah lmao agshdj

morgana: do you ever associate the word “girlfriend” with wlw so much that you forget straight boys have girlfriends

gwen: am taking care of a tiny kitten. have given it an excellent name. dad thinks i’m calling her “minty” but this is actually short for The Government

gwen: The Government bit my finger and pooped on the floor

gwaine: peak art is when you were like six and you scribbled all over ms paint and then carefully paintbucketed in all the different shapes in the scribbles to make “stained glass”

morgause: forcing my car to commit sins so it goes to hell with me when i die

leon, after arthur gives the knights a pep talk: so motivational...time to drill a hole in my skull

morgana: i want to be a she really did that!! kind of girl but i don’t do anything

arthur: pros and cons of being my friend:

arthur: pro: you have a friend

arthur: con: it’s me

gwaine, to lancelot: bro let’s watch a horror movie together...bro you look scared do you wanna share a blanket dude? if you wanna hold hands it’s ok. if you wanna rest your head on my shoulder it’s alright bro...bro if you wanna kiss that’s understandable that was a scary movie...we can keep cuddling after the movie is over it’s alright dude…

lancelot: old town road but he just keeps listing all the places he has horses

gwaine: i got the horses in the back

gwaine: horses on the track

gwaine: horses in the shack and i got horses fetching snacks

gwaine: i got the horses in earth’s core

gwaine: down under the floor

gwaine: horses in the store and i got horses on the moor

gwaine: died and came back as a cowboy i call that reintarnation

morgana: *shows up at college* excuse me will someone please direct me to the leftist brainwashing class? i’m here for the leftist brainwashing class

merlin: finally found someone i was more disappointed in that myself: the entirety of america camelot

morgause: customer (derogatory)

arthur: business major (derogatory)

leon: leonardo dicaprio date a woman over 25 challenge

gwaine: thought that said “leonardo da vinci” and was confused since da vinci was gay and also since you were calling out someone who’s been dead for well over 7 years

leon: well. da vinci has been well over 7 years, i’ll give you that

morgana: the retirement age needs to be lowered to 25. i’ve had enough

gwaine: i’m fucking in luigi’s mansion

leon: who?

gwaine: some italian freak

gwaine: oh you meant who am i fucking. your mom

leon: stop setting things on fire because you’re curious about what will happen. what will happen is fire

gwaine: but what if...something else happens. just this 1 time

morgause: bored? burn an orphan. who’re they gonna tell? their parents?

morgana: due to personal reasons i will be a serial arsonist

mithian: fruit (affectionate)

arthur: going to the fruit (derogatory) store do you want anything

gwen: fruit (salad, yummy yummy)

morgana, to gwen: i’m allergic to hookup culture and too weird to participate anyway. die in my arms

kilgharrah: i am fast and full of teeth. i will die in a barn fire

morgana: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana: evil again

morgause: every day i put on my evil little clothes and do my evil little tasks

percival: megan thee stallion and timothee chalamet are the same age

gwaine: megan thee stallion 🤝 timo thee chalamet

morgana: hey how many swords do you have

morgause: sword of a lot

morgana: blocked

morgause: parried

morgana and gwen simultaneously in 1x10: *chanting* girls with swords girls with swords

morgana: the more knives you have the more valid you are

kilgharrah: blocked. blocked. blocked. you’re all blocked. none of you are free from sin.

morgana: seven deadly sins speedrun

gwaine: i want 6 pet sloths so i can name them after every sin except for sloth

merlin: the eighth deadly sin is networking

arthur: online school culture is constantly wondering if there’s a sneaky little assignment you missed...is it tucked under modules or assignments or heaven forbid, announcements? who’s to say?

gaius: asynchronous learning

merlin, a clown: mmmnaptime

arthur: have you ever just cried because you’re you

elyan, to percival: bro, we are teens . it’s ok to cry around me . i’m your best friend . i love you … bro we are kissing now … no don’t stop bro … bro …

morgana: mad bc i was told as the bride my wedding would be “my day” but actually where will be a whole other bride there and we will have to share it

leon: i’m disgusted every time someone does a gender reveal and it’s about a gender i already know about, what kind of reveal is that

leon: gender reveal party??? no, this is a gender repeal party. we out here revoking genders

gwaine: you’re laughing. i asked you who sings party rock anthem and you’re laughing

gwaine: make no mistake not only am i party rocking but i’m also in the house tonight

elyan: are you shuffling?

gwaine: everyday

morgana: lung extensions

morgana: with extended lungs you can: scream longer, breathe harder, brag about extended lungs

morgana: this procedure is not legal but i will do it for you

morgana: do not tell the police or morgause

morgana: i’m so sick of dna, i’m going to have all mine removed

morgause: good news! this is a real thing that can happen to you

morgana: perfect, sign me up

morgana: if YOU die because i poisoned you...how is that MY fault like i’m sorry you aren’t immune to my poisons i think that’s genuinely something you need to work on. fix yourself before blaming others

arthur: my body is NOT a “temple”...it is a CLOWN CAR and NONE OF THESE BITCHES KNOW HOW TO DRIVE

morgause: live

morgause: laugh

morgause: l u r k

mcdonald’s employee: please sir get off the table

gwaine: I ASKED FOR TWO LARGE FRIES *dumping bag of fried out onto the floor* BUT INSTEAD GOT A HUNDRED FUCKEN LITTLE ONES

merlin: i relate to vampires because i too must be clearly and specifically invited in before i have the audacity to try to participate in anything

gwaine: it can’t be september, just yesterday is was marchgustuary

lancelot: today’s date: [REDACTED]/[REDACTED]/20

gwaine: why are internet friends not normalized. it’s 2020 they’re probably making robots that will wipe your ass for you and i can’t text grace in the uk and tell her to have a good day? fuck you

percival: imagine if halsey was in beauty and the beast

elyan: are you insane like gaston. been in pain like gaston. bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like gaston

arthur: my dad is learning about pronouns/gender identity and he called me in the middle of the night to tell me he is cis

merlin: ough. those first 400 bites of dirt were not so good. maybe the next one will be better

morgana: i’m at the dark candy store, buying sorrowful ranchers

merlin: i’m surprised no one has ever punched me in the face

gwen: i want a gf so i can send her memes about loving my gf

morgause: oh to cook with my wife and stand directly in front of cabinets and drawers she needs to open

morgause: decided i will no longer be paying taxes. what are they gonna do, tax me more? go ahead. i won’t pay those either. oh i’m going to prison? the one paid for by my tax dollars? sorry, didn’t pay em. now there is no prison. i am at least 3 steps ahead of the government at all times

merlin: lab safety but the teacher just wants to you die

merlin: lab safety: 1. drink whatever’s in that beaker. i know you fucking want to

morgause: my therapist is selling her house so i’m gonna find the listing online and make her living room my zoom backgrounds before our next session. you wanna get in my head? ok well i’m in your home babe. i’m in charge now

morgana: yeah i see why you’re in therapy

morgana: i hate it when people ask me to “explain my thought process” like hell if i know

morgana: what’s going on in that head of yours?” nothing i want to be a part of

mordred: hey girls what’s the hot gossip what’s new what’s the 411

morgana and morgause: everything is bad and getting worse by the day

morgause: common letter greetings from 1889

morgause: dearest my-soon-to-be-enemy

morgause: salutations and i hope you enjoy contact prison

morgause: i hope this letter finds you in a ditch

arthur: *highlights all the wrong and unimportant stuff with full confidence*

merlin: i’ve tried opening my mouth and saying words before and i’ve gotta say, i’m not a fan

morgana: a large group of humans is called a fuck that

website: synonyms for blood: juice

mithian: thank you thesaurus.com, that is absolutely not what i was looking for

gwaine: gen z humor was single-handedly cultivated by the zoo wee mama comic and you can’t convince me otherwise

morgana: screw this it’s halloween now *turns into a swarm of bats them consumes the moon*

morgana: i can’t believe the heterosexuals are gone. they’re gone

uther: we’re still here

arthur: who said that

gwaine: no more france

gwaine: society has progressed passed the need for france

morgause: girls night out (of body experience)

morgana, to morgause: what do you mean “what have i been up to”...i’m out here ruining my own life as always bitch

merlin: stop complaining about your life. there are literally people living in camelot

arthur, trying to find new knights: oh so you’re a human? name three pictures with traffic lights in them

gwaine: we mcfreaking lost her doctor

morgause: looking for a wife in the walmart

morgause: arrested for visiting www.killing.com/murder

gwaine, to merlin: no bro this isn’t a date listen bro

gwaine: it’s bruhnch

morgause, to cenred: if you think i’m not interested, you’re right

gwen: put a pancake on a girl’s head when she’s asleep to keep her warm and safe

morgana: idk what mad scientist needs to hear this today but your goggles and lab coat are incredibly flattering and all your experiments will block away the scientific community who called you a fool

morgause: i’m gonna fucking die disease

morgause: symptoms: back hurts a bit too much for a bit too long

arthur: if you think i’m annoying now wait until i get over my fear of being perceived as annoying

merlin: sorry if i’m bothering you

surgeon: how do you keep waking up and saying that

gwaine: home depot needs more small tunnels for me to crawl through tbh

percival: hot tip: soup is customizable! go wild but know your limits

morgana: brains say “i know a spot” and take you to a traumatic memory from 2011

mithian: “can you multitask” yes actually i am losing my mind and chilling at the same time

morgana: quarantine schedule to keep you on track

morgana: wake up

morgana: neglect online school

morgana: yearn (ongoing project)

morgana: again!

mithian: if cats don’t want to be held like little babies maybe they shouldn’t be roughly the size and shape of little babies

morgause: fuck this pandemic i could’ve ruined 2020 on my own

morgana: a cute girl told me she has lots of plants in her house and i told her for some fucking reason “damn the oxygen at your place must be mad crisp” and somehow still got her number so. chase your dreams. nothing is impossible apparently

morgana: oh to wear a knife strapped against my thigh beneath a silk dress

morgana, running off with morgause at the end of season 2: i hate this place i want to go to build a bear

morgana, at work: i’m evil

morgana, 1 second after clocking out: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana, the next day at work: evil again

season 2 morgana: i am fine thank you for asking! though recently there has been a darkness growing within me

morgause: *thinks about love* okay well i am just losing my mind and being insane now

arthur: you think you can hurt my feelings? i’ve been the least favorite in every single friendship group i’ve had since i was 8

morgana, staring out the window at arthur and merlin: look at them plotting my downfall

mithian: i wanna buy clown noses in bulk and start sticking them on every person i see whose mask is pulled too low

mithian: oh to be a tiny cat whose biggest concern is the looming threat of being gently picked up and kissed on the head

morgana: i deserve to be kissed

morgana: did you have a homoerotic friendship with a girl in high school that ended in tragedy and you two are never talking again or are you normal?

mithian: just diagnosed with forehead kiss deficiency :/

morgana: i think i’ll continue to wear a mask when this shit’s all over, and huge sunglasses. my face is none of your business

morgause: my therapist told me that sometimes when a person consumes the same piece of media over and over they may be unconsciously coping with a mental block so now i’m trying to figure out what the fuck i was going through that made me watch ratatouille 8 times a day for a solid month in middle school

morgause: opposite of depression nap. depression awakeness. refreshing the same three websites over and over. there’s nothing new on any of them. eight seconds have passed and it feels like a century

morgana: very homophobic that my head is not laying on the chest of my maidservant as i am drifting off to sleep

merlin: no no, it’s fine, i’ll text myself back

morgana: *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns*

arthur: i’d have to be a fool not to? being a fool and not doing things are my top two activities

gwaine: you think it’s easy to be me? you think it’s easy to get up every. single. day. and be an industrial grade dumbass? well it’s not. but that’s what i do. and i’ll never stop.

morgana: ah shit i’m sorry man, my schedule for the week is all booked

sunday: yearn

monday: pine

tuesday: long

wednesday: ache

thursday: sigh

friday: lament

saturday: crave

morgana: talents include: being a public menace, denying God’s will, petting dogs, yearning, being dramatic, witchcraft, quoting classic literature when no one asked, napping, befriending a murder of crows, being gay, covering up my emotions by being “the funny friend” when in reality i’m really going through it, wistfully staring out the car window

merlin: *doesn’t even do the bare minimum* all in a day’s work

cenred: a “period” is not an excuse to have an attitude

morgause: i miss the times when men would go to war and die

morgana: the cheap halloween vampire fangs stay ON during sex

gwen: maybe i pspspspsp’ed you because i love you. did you think of that? huh?

morgana: mom said it’s my turn to hand out the ominous and vague warnings

arthur: that wasn’t mom

uther: she JUST SAID it was her turn

morgause: i’m a chill person but if my back doesn’t stop hurting i’m going to take out my spine and beat God with it

mithian: one of these days i’m going to say the f word

mithian: then you’ll all be sorry

morgause: 3 words every girl wants to hear

morgause: club penguin membership

morgana: hmm, yes.

morgana: time to s i p

morgana: some *~crispy~*

morgana: d i h y d r o g e n m o n o x i d e

morgause: roll call! raise your hand if you’re in the following fandoms:

morgause: 1. suffering 2. the pain of living

morgana: *raises both hands and a leg*

leon: it’s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager

merlin: yeah bro hit me up and we’ll cancel some plans sometime

morgana: my brain, or as i like to call it, the suffer contraption

morgause: my circle so small i almost cut myself off

morgause hyping herself up before entering any public area: i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal

arthur: today in french we learned how to say “what’s in the bag” and i couldn’t stop laughing because

arthur: swaggity swag qu’est-ce qui dans le sac

merlin: even when i am not speaking, know that horrible sentences are raging within me

mithian in 5x04: sorry bro i can’t go out tonight. i’m stuck in an eternal state of melancholy

morgause: shower gel label: immerse yourself in this new “Me Time” luxury frooty tooty. abandon all sense of identity and dissolve your memories into this soothing chemical broth. one billion melons are in this tube...use them wisely

leon, writing a headline about the most recent knights’ mission: local dumbasses knew that what they were getting themselves into and did it anyways

morgana: *feels random pain in body*

morgana: kill me

mithian: *slowly inches closer to your pet*

morgause: *refuses to look at texts* i love conversation and communication

arthur: cute gender neutral things to call your partner

arthur: significant annoyance

leon: the most unrealistic fantasy trope is the one where half of the pair works in some sort of shop and one is a customer because i have literally never thought about a customer with anything other than contempt

gwaine: why is everyone talking about 1d all of a sudden did one of them die

elyan: they’re 10 years old now

gwaine: i wish them luck 4th grade is tough!!

gwaine: must i pursue a career? is it not enough to be passionate about tv shows and snack foods?

leon, aroace: cool date idea: me eating oatmeal by myself

morgana: i have no self of steam

gwaine: i hate wearing a mask. i miss being able to gently kiss my trader joe’s cashier on the lips after they ring up my $8 box of blueberries

morgana: committing acts of violence today…*pushes morgause’s glass of water off the counter*

gwaine: mario will do anything to put a smile on your face

morgana: haha we get along so well...our brains just work the same way

morgause, after changing her entire personality to match morgana’s after analyzing the way she talks and texts: haha yeah it’s incredible

gwaine: covered in sauce, trembling

arthur: *says the vaguest most incoherent shit ever*

arthur: you know what i mean :/

[online]

morgana: *screenshots things her girlfriend said to her so she can read it again later* yeah i’m not gay

uther: dude no offence i don’t want to sound like an sjw or anything but if you have a girlfriend you’re straight. that’s just how it works

morgana: i’m a girl

uther: what the fuck

morgana: the second you say “family group chat” i know we are not the same

gwen: what if early in the morning after buying groceries we got caught in the rain and i used my jacket to cover your head ut we still got soaked and we made a fire at home and brewed tea and sat together watching the rain as our cats hid under our feets at each sound of thunder and we ate stew for dinner and watched tv until we fell asleep on the couch with your head resting on my shoulder

gwaine, to percival: hold my hand bro we’re crossing the street

percival: imageine if we all just started ignoring celebrities though

percival: i can’t stop thinking about how funny this would be. imagine kyie jenner posting a selfie and it gets 12 likes

morgana: this isn’t fun anymore i need a kiss

morgause at 1159 pm: life’s great lol

morgause at 1201 am: does anyone really know me? most importantly do i really know me? what if life doesn’t get better than this?

merlin: king i needbfjdjgnjfg qldkr snmsmdjgjt ….. .. i need--fjrjkrhgphpqn dd

arthur: huh *dunks merlin’s head back underwater*

morgana: i don’t go to therapy or take any pills i just rawdog life and let my brain turn into soup

mordred: dark emails

morgause: to whom it WILL concern

morgana: now that this email has found you

gwaine: hi waiter could i get the spaghetti i promise i’ll behave this time

merlin: the sexiest thing about me? everything hurts my feelings

gwaine: how is sex fun if i have to remove my crocs to have it

elyan: if he makes you remove your crocs for sex he isn’t the one

morgause: a motherfucker could use an embrace

morgana: every night after 10pm my feelings start crawling out, starved, as i beat them with a moderately large stick vigorously hissing “stay back” until i inevitably fall asleep

fanfiction: there’s only one room available…

morgause, who specifically chose a rated m and explicit story: oh my gosh there’s only one room they’re gonna share a bed what’s gonna happen next

morgana: i can have a little unrealistic romantic fantasy. as a treat

arthur: some of y’all weren’t asked out as a joke in middle school and it shows

morgana: how is everyone doing. i’ll go first i’m doing badly

morgana: being a kid was so fucking funny we’d just go around lying to each other’s faces constantly to impress each other one of the knights told me he was the first person to visit the sun and when i asked him what it was like to prove he was lying he said he didn’t remember because they sent him there when he was a baby and to this day the mental image of nasa launching an unsupervised baby into the sun still makes me crack up

elyan: do you wish you were seeing somebody

leon: a therapist

morgause: when you see someone from high school and they don’t recognize you that’s the exact opposite of the mortifying ordeal of being known. the gratifying relief of being forgotten

[texting]

morgana: you seem hard to kill

morgause: aw thank you

morgause: i haven’t been killed yet

morgana: to your knowledge

morgause: what

morgana: just truly bonkers how much i love lying down……..like being horizontal? Unparalleled

arthur: when i was younger i really thought that piranhas were going to be a bigger issue for me than they’ve turned out to be

morgause: filling out the depression and anxiety checkboxes at the doctors is always so sad but also very very funny

morgause: i am handed a piece of paper. i check off a box that says “every day i wish i were dead”. i hand back the paper. the paper and its contents are never again discussed.

morgana: unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, i cannot just “walk up and join the circle of people talking”, but it does sound lovely thank you

morgana: if california is so expensive why don’t you move to somewhere like ohio

morgause: full offense but i’d rather be dead in california than alive in ohio

morgause: ugly and uninspiring--review of ohio

morgana: staying up late not even fun anymore it’s just sad

morgause: everyone should be comfortable in their own skin :)

morgause’s brain: except for you

morgause: except for me :)

mithian: please peer pressure me into finishing projects

merlin: do it or you’re straight

mithian: i said peer pressure not threaten

morgause: the year is 2030. bakery art is so realistic, literally anything could be cake. the uncertainty has gripped the world in fear. i go to hug my wife for comfort. she is cake.

morgause: i sob in despair as i eat my cake wife. she is delicious

gwen: do ladies love stupid men or do they just love men who don’t exhaust every opportunity to feel smart

gwen: “i used to think that melancholy was a vegetable” that’s incredible, let’s hang out more

morgause: basically i accidentally listened to a song a few years ago and it led to this

morgana: *desperately tries to romanticise her homework*

uther: do i have to be pretty? is it not enough to simply be the loudest person in the room with the worst opinions

morgana: oh i can’t possibly study, i have allotted the next six hours to yearning vaguely

morgause: allow me to de-introduce myself

morgause: my name is [redacted]

arthur: i have no good posts today i’m sorry guys

merlin: haha “today”

mordred: “do we perhaps use magic because we were bullied and needed blah blah special interest blah blah” shut the FUCK up i use magic to see my anime husband’s big fucking honkers. sorry you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: i came here to bully people

mordred: is it because you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: no it’s because i’m deranged

mithian: pretty sure seven deadly sins is a bit excessive

mithian: just combine wrath and gluttony and make hangry

mithian: sloth and pride make Bottoming

morgana: despicable me ruined the word minion whenever i become a supervillain i’m just going to have to call them my homies or whatever

gwen: as a bisexual i am attracted to lanky boys with dark hair, girls who look like they could kill me, and anyone wearing vampire teeth

morgana: if someone tried to assassinate me that would make me feel so important and valued and beloved

gwaine: turn down for whom?

mithian: fact: usage of the word “the” has begun to decline. this is because as more and more people become educated, usage of the word “thoum’st” has become more common.

morgana, kidnapping mithian in 5x04: truth or dare? uhhh i dare you to………………………………..fall in love with me. haha i’m just joking bro………………..unless…………………………?

gwaine: my thoughts are like a clearance sale

gwaine: once it’s gone it’s gone

morgana: *pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce” specifically to piss off morgause*

gwaine: do you prefer women or men?

leon: death

morgause: honestly no offense but i love falling asleep and sleeping. it’s like. ok goodnight

morgause: ngl it’s kinda difficult to be the moody and mysterious background character in everyone’s life when you’re quarantined at home

morgause: i need to get laid

morgause: --to rest. put me in a coffin, let my soul ascend

gwaine: it takes a lot of heart to be this stupid

gwaine: it takes real strength not to know shit about fuck

elyan: what’s your favorite anime?

leon: i’m a christian

arthur: just bought this tapeworm from etsy!

lancelot: where are you gonna keep it

arthur: :)

merlin: i don’t like this conversion very much

gwaine: i’m home alone with the tv repair man

gwaine: i’m no fool, there are only two possible outcomes of this scenario

gwaine: porn or murder

gwaine, an hour later: apparently there was an unforeseen third outcome where he fixes the tv and then leaves

morgause: well tomorrow fucking sucked

morgana: dark brunch

morgana: *mixes a mimosa with evil intent*

morgause: this is just what being gay is like

gwaine: movie idea: guy finds a stone tablet engraved with a mysterious alien language and gets caught up in a national treasure-esque adventure to decipher its meaning, only to learn that it’s just an alien “live laugh love” decoration

arthur: sorry i didn’t mean to open your ig story 20 seconds after you posted i’m just unemployed

arthur: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgana: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

cenred: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgause: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

morgana: wow would you look at that. it’s already that time of the night where i move the stuff on my bed to my chair. can’t wait until tomorrow when i move the stuff from my chair back onto my bed

gwaine: hi i’m bethany with girl defined ministry and today we are going to be talking about how to stan my chemical romance in a God-honoring way

morgana: bottom: ,,, !!! ;;; vers: …. top: no punctuation whatsoever

morgause: tops are illiterate

morgause: i slept for almost 12 hours but i might still be tired so let’s go for 12 more just in case

morgana: morgause that’s a coma

morgause: sounds festive

mithian: i am a simple woman. i enter the kitchen. i eat four servings of bread products. i leave.

gwaine: it’s one serving if you serve all of it to yourself

mithian: i like the way you think, friend

gwaine: spencer from icarly and rodrick from diary of a wimpy kid are on the opposite ends of the same spectrum

elyan: the gay older brother scale

merlin: i found a rock :)

merlin: my troubles will soon be over

gwaine: parasite (2019) dir. bong joon ho

percival: uncut gems (2019) dir. josh and benny safdie

elyan: cain

morgana: social distancing is okay for me bc i’ve been touch starved since the 15th century. i’m used to it

mithian: fanfiction hits different when you’re gay and yearning and haven’t experienced an ounce of romance in your life

morgause: callout for rude baby seen at grocery store

morgause: i’m calling out a baby (approximately 12-14 months old) from the grocery store due to its rudeness. i’m guessing its age based on appearance, motor skills (atrocious) and whatnot. anyway, i smiled at this baby and it just stared at me. as soon as i began to move on, though, the baby said “no!” and started giggling when i turned back around. this happened multiple times. the baby’s actions were toxic and manipulative. the baby was also manhandling a package of dried fruit which wasn’t yet paid for (quite minor) and was just generally sitting around and not helping

gwen: we need to melt down all the pennies and make the statue of liberty a girlfriend

morgause: had a realization in a dream i just had that this isn’t real and i can just do whatever i want and so i started shrinking the face of this guy that was talking to me and then once it got real small i woke up sleep paralyzed

morgause: i was given godlike powers over the universe by realizing it’s all in my head and the first thing i did was use them to torment the nearest man

morgause: and the actual God woke me up and put be into a 5 minute timeout to lay frozen and think about what i’ve done

morgana: does anyone else feel an awkward tension whenever you see another person your age in the grocery store

gwaine: the number 87 kinda looks like a plague doctor

percival: you’ve just changed the fucking game

elyan: [|87

morgana: a lonely bitch...a loner...i love isolation AND detachment

gwaine: i will not call the judges “your honor”. in america we don’t have titles of nobility. they will get a simple “yes dude” from me

gwaine: calling big bird just “bird” because i do not respect him

morgause: *photo of a pizza in a bad* caught the bae sleepin

mordred: now why would you waste a perfectly good pizza :(

morgause: that “waste” happens to be my wife getting her beauty sleep. think before you speak

gwaine: *finishes wedding vows* don’t forget to like and subscribe

morgana: *is bitter but is also right*

morgana: how dare you not notice me when i’m ignoring you

morgause, killing cenred: men be like i’m bilingual i speak english and over women

gwaine: after i move i really wanna get a used roomba

percival: i love that you’re adopting instead of buying from a breeder

mordred: joking about a kink is a gateway drug into developing said kink

morgana: my kink is mental, emotional, and financial stability

morgause: unrealistic, settle for choking like normal people

gaius: gay people use halloween props as home decor year round

morgana: shut up shut up this black jar with a raven painted on it is holiday-neutral

[texting]

morgause: can you come out?

morgana: yeah gimme a minute

morgana: morgause, i’m gay

morgause: i know that. come out to the car

morgana: car, i’m gay

morgause: God FUCKING damnit i’m such a hopeless romantic one day someone’s gonna say “i love you” and i’m just going to let out an agonized scream so horrible that they immediately change their mind

gaius: i’m not wearing glasses anymore i’ve seen enough

morgause: sorry my battery’s on 96% i gtg

morgause: you hate me? wow you think you’re hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so you can go grab a number and wait your turn

morgana: don’t ignore me ?? i despise being ignored ?? i mean i’m ignoring like 8 people right now but still ???

morgana: shoutout to my favorite coping mechanism, isolation

morgana: the concept of physical beauty is a scam unless you’re calling me cute in which case it is valid, actually

merlin: oh, so when other people go outside it’s “good for their health” and “highly recommended”, it’s only when i do it that it’s a “containment breach” and a “high-level threat to public safety and security”, huh?

gwaine: a charming photo of young john mulaney, seemingly celebrating the kennedy assassination

merlin: princess diana wasn’t john mulaney’s first kill

morgause: hate when i got out in public and the public is there

morgana: it seems the public is no longer in the public

morgause: i’ve won...but at what cost?

morgana: girls will see a chance to commit arson and be like “sorry, i have to take this”

morgause: girls will see a building that’s not on fire and say “is anyone gonna burn that” and not wait for an answer

#puff does things #long post

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melyaliz · 5 years ago

Text

Platonically sleeping togeather

Fandom: DC / Red Hood and the Outlaws

Summary: You missed Roy and Starfire while they were on a mission and can’t sleep. But Jason was still around so he’ll do.

Pairing: Jason Todd x OC

Notes: Last week while I was sick and dealing with emotions I ended up reading a bunch of Red Hood and the Outlaws and got slightly inspired so I wrote some short Jason stories. I’m going back and editing them now.

All Masterlists @melyalizarchive

Connect with me! AO3 / Instagram / Pinterest

DONATE

--------------------------

“We will only be gone a few hours promise.”

That had been Roy and Star’s promise as they left on their secret mission leaving you alone with Jason at the base.

A promise that had been made over 24 hours and was now well into the evening of the second day.

And you couldn't sleep.

To say you had abandonment issues was putting it lightly. It was more of a, someone leaves you for two seconds and you’re convinced they were never coming back.

It didn’t help that Roy had stopped texting you around hour 10.

Jason had said they were fine. That they would be back soon. To stop asking about it. Just relax

How the HELL were you supposed to relax when your family was on a mission that was taking twice (close to three times) as long as it should and you hadn’t heard anything?

You just have to accept they aren’t coming back. That evil little voice said in you head over and over again. People leave, it’s part of life. You need to stop being a baby about it.

Letting out a long sigh you sat up rubbing your eyes trying to keep the tears at bay. GIRL! Pull yourself together, this was NOT the time to cry.

But you also couldn’t sit in this empty room anymore. The lack of laughter and presence of your friends was just too loud.

Getting up she slowly walked down the hall noticing Jason’s light on. Gently knocking on the door.

“Yeah?”

-----

Jason couldn't sleep. But that wasn’t new. He never slept. Tim Drake had nothing on Jason Todd. The sleepless boy wonder. Years of living on the streets having to fight for his life and then growing up spending late nights on patrol had trained Jason to… well, not sleep.

Not to mention that ever plaguing nightmares that lurked right behind his eyelids.

A soft knock on the door broke him from the book he was reading. “Yeah?”

The door slowly opened to reveal you standing in the doorway. Eyes bloodshot and nose red. If Jason didn’t know any better he would have thought you had been crying.

The idea made his stomach drop for some reason.

“What’s up snickers?”

“I… can’t sleep” you mumbled looking down at your slippered feet feeling like some small child. This was fucking stupid. You were being stupid. “I’m worried about Roy and Starfire, Could I maybe… just hang with you for a while.”

“Yeah, sure it’s not like I’m sleeping anyway.”

Nodding you walked over before jumping into the bed.

“Jesus your feet are cold!” Jason mumbled as he toes touched his legs. Also realizing that even though he was in a long-sleeved shirt he was only wearing boxers. Not that it mattered, it wasn’t like was sexually attracted to you. You were like a best friend to him. Someone who had always been there no matter what. Someone he truly relied on.

Glancing over he felt a weird fluttering in his chest again as you fluffed his extra pillow and spread out the blankets getting yourself comfortable before cuddling down into the blankets. Body cuddled up to him.

You body was so warm, not uncomfortably just… warm in like a soothing way. Almost like the warm milk Alfred use to make when he was a kid to help him relax. It probably had something to do with the fluffy panda hoodie you were wearing or just natural body heat.

Whatever it was Jason didn’t hate it.

“Shhhhh”

“Just one more”

“You are going to wake them.”

“But they are so adorable, wonder if they missed us.”

“Oh shhhh”

Jason woke to two idiots standing over him. What time was it? Blinking confused he realized by the light in the window that it was morning. Roy clicked his camera a few more times while Starfire stood behind him trying to keep her lover from waking up the two. Seeing Jason waking she gave him a gentle smile.

“She looks so cozy” The alien nodding toward You. It was then that Jason realized you had fallen asleep pressed against his chest. Breathing peacefully Jason couldn’t help but agree with Star, you did look cozy.

“You both did” Roy snickered as he texted God knows who seeing as all his friends were in that room. “Asleep like babies. Star broke a lamp coming in here and you guys didn’t even flinch.”

“If I remember correctly Roy, the blame for the broken lamp lies with you.”

“How… what time is it?” Jason mumbled rubbing his eyes trying to get a bearing on what was going on. How long had he been asleep? And boy did he feel good. Is this was a full rest felt like?

You let out a soft sigh as he tried to sit up, your fingers clutching onto his shirt pulling it toward yourself as you buried your face it the soft white material.

“Looks like you’ll be there for a while.” Roy said, “I’m going to shower and then make breakfast.”

“May I join you?”

“Ohhhh I’d like that”

Jason tried again to sit up only to have you mumble in your sleep stirring. A few seconds later slowly starting to wake.

“Hey sleepy.”

“Where….” you blinked confused looking up at him.

“You fell asleep in here remember.”

“I did” mumbling you rubbing your arm on your face cheeks flushed from sleep. Something about the way your hair was all messed up and eyes blinking owlishly trying to wake up was doing things to Jason. He wanted to grab you and pull you back under the blankets and hold you forever.

“Yeah, once you wake up Roy said she’s going to make breakfast.”

“They’re back?” instantly you were awake.

“Don’t hurt yourself” Jason tried to warn you as you almost tripped out of the bed in your haste to see your teammates.

----

“So how was last night?” Roy asked winking, he had always known there was SOMETHING going on between those two. They just didn’t want to admit it.

“I think she freaked out because you guys were gone so long,” Jason said taking a bite while Kori explained to their teammate in question how the mission had gone.

“Yeah, I know she has some abandonment issues due to her past.” Roy said, “Part of the reason I had her join us. Glad she had you there at least.”

“Yeah…” Jason’s voice trailed off as he watched her giggling at something Kori was saying.

“Did something else happen?” Roy question pulling him back to reality. His gaze studying his best friend. Since last night Jason hadn’t seemed to be able to take his eyes off of you.

“Nothing happened… well…” his voice trailed off for a moment.

“What?”

“I just… have never slept that good before in my life.”

Roy laughed shaking his head, “maybe you need to platonically sleep with people more.”

“Yeah maybe.”

“Unless you don’t want it to be platonic…”

Jason chocked slightly on his coffee at the though. The coughing sound causing Kori and you to turn confused.

“Everything ok?” You asked

“Oh you know me, just helping my friend realize the obvious,” Roy said flashing you a wide grin that told you he was up to no good.

“I missed you guys,” you said decideing if you needed to know you would end up finding out.

“Seem’s like you found a way to cope.”

-GET TAGGED!-

Tagging: @royslittleharper @the-shadow-of-atlantis @coffee-randomness @werewitchling @xx3fsxx @daisyboobear @ @jason-redhood @hello-i-lovespiderman-blr @ocelysium @pinkwitch21 @tomhncharliep

Jason: @cryptoregan @winterssoldierrs

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thisstableground · 5 years ago

Note

High key sad ask, but how do you think it went when/if Ruben saw his mom and sisters again and they now know that ‘yeah that guy you sent me away with so easily kidnapped and tortured me’ I’m just in the mood for guilty family feels :(

ohhhh, oh no! (minor content warning for talk of torture/ptsd stuff bc ruben)

well. so i’ve got it in my timeline that what happens afterjamaica is that when ian returns from jamaica he plays it so that jason thinks ruben is dead. works out best for ian that way – jason won’tgo looking for ruben to get rid of ian any more, ruben’s there if/when iandecides he’ll be useful to him, and he correctly figures that jason isn’t going toturn himself in unless he absolutely has to.

unlucky for them, josh finds outthat jason was on the plane with ruben, and after that jason is pretty muchcornered into confessing to what he believes to be ruben’s murder. ruben’sfamily, of course, are kept in the loop about all of this. so for about anothermonth after that, before ruben is found and brought back home, his family justhave to live with thinking that the guy they all had dinner with straight upkilled him. and without a body and without jason even being able to say exactlywhat happened, they don’t even really understandit because let’s face it, this whole thing is a confusing, complicated situation. but that’s reallyhard for them to live with: that was the last time they saw ruben alive and, as far as they know, the last time they’ll ever have seen him.

his mom especially thinks about it all the time,thinks about how he’d said “ma, you don’t understand-“ and she’d just shushedhim and sent him on his way. god, she didn’t understand. she thinksabout that at the memorial and every time she looks at her heartbroken, hurtingdaughters and wonders whether she ever understood any of her children at all if shemanaged to miss that, and what else she might not see until it’s too late. she thinks about it every time she stands in ruben’s childhood bedroom, crying over his baby pictures, thinks about it while she’s clearing out his apartment and when she’s lying awakeat night wishing he’d just come back home so she could tell him that she’ssorry, that she should have listened harder, seen what he was trying to say.

then he does come back, of course. and she still wants totell him that she’s sorry. but there’s so much already going on – he’s unwell to thepoint of delirious when he first gets back, he can’t talk about what happenedat all, his only two modes are either violent flashback or so dissociated he’s practically comatose. enough of his own problems without dealing withhis family’s guilt. when do you find the right moment to apologize for that? how do you apologize to someone who can barely even hear you speaking to them?

the trial is hard for them all. it’s the first time theyhear the story in full, with ruben’s perspective on events. it takes weeks to get through, but by the end of it they know exactly what happened to ruben in jamaica, and they also know that by the timeian was at their house, he’d already tried to kill ruben at least once. earlier that same week, maybe that same day had gagged him and strapped him to ahospital bed and shoved a needle in his arm and left him there.

estefania remembers the person she thought was jason coleshowing up at their house a short while before ruben arrived, how she’d said that ruben doesn’t often bringfriends back because he’s so busy. how jason – ian – had laughed and with abright smile said, “you’d have to tie him down and lock him in the basement to keephim out of that lab of his,” and she’dlaughed too.

she has to run out of the courtroom at the memory of that, stands out inthe cool spring air breathing heavily and trying not to be sick. he’d known exactly what he was saying. hewas laughing about it, at her, at ruben. did he laugh after what he did to her ruben in jamaica, too?

they didn’t talk about it after. the trial was somuch to deal with, and there was so much going on. they all feel a little guilty that it’s easier for them after ruben moves to new york - he starts doing better, being more independent, and so they havespace to look at their own trauma without feeling like they should all befocused on helping him get better. all three of them, estefania and the girls,end up in therapy themselves. everyone in that family has PTSD now, to more orless of an extent. the girls never bring friends home from school any more –halfway because it’s too hard to trust anyone, halfway because they know that ifthey do then they’d be under such suspicion. they’re all very private now, from the outside world and in many ways from each other.

ruben, for his part, does actually blame them a little. he feelsterrible about it, because he loves them and they’ve done so much for him. he didn’teven tell his old therapist about it. he doesnt wantto blame them, he wants to just blame ian, keep it all nice and straightforwardand clear. but he can’t help it: he tried to tell them as much as he could without spilling the whole story, he said he didn’t want to go out, he thought it waspretty fucking obvious that he didn’t want to go anywhere with ian, and there’sbeen a lot of times especially when he was still in jamaica that he wonderedwhy the hell they couldn’t read that, how little they must understand him evenafter knowing him his whole life. how his mother always says things like sheloves him how he is, but the first chance she got she was willing to overlookevery red flag and ruben’s own preferences to see him go out and be “normal”with a friend. none of it is that simple, of course, and he knows it isn’t, butthere’s enough of an element of truth to it to make it very difficult to shake.

there’s a lot of things theyhaven’t talked about just waiting there, that they’re trying to ignore becausethings are a little better now, everyone’s a little happier now, and nobodywants to be the one to disturb the fragile sense of recovery. i think ruben has a stronger sense of his recovery when it’s just him by himself, but while in a way this brought them closer as a family there’s also such a weight of grief and guilt and everyone’s trauma that when all of them are together the progress he’s made becomes less clear, less certain, because it reminds him of how many things there are still left to deal with for all of them.

but estefania is selling the house soon, wants out ofphiladelphia and especially out of the place where that man sat and ate theirfood and they all laughed at his jokes, just days before he dragged ruben tothe middle of nowhere and tortured him. i imagine that it’ll be once they’re intheir new place then a whole lot of suppressed stuff is gonna come out. that’s how PTSD works sometimes: often it’s only when you’re actually safe that you suddenly start to process the extent of what happened and really feel the fear of it. and thatit’s going to be very messy, but god knows all of them need it.

#fandom: do no harm #character: ruben #character: marcado family #pika-ace

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