#have written 1.2k words of something in the past five days

[flebus]

guy who finally gets around to watching the last season of mp100 then just ends up being dropkicked by his season two micro-niche otp again

[perpetuallyconfused10]

could you maybe write something where hotch and the reader are the only two awake on the jet after a long case, neither of them plan on sleeping so they sit at the back away from everyone and reader is listening to music whilst hotch does paperwork but after a little while he asks what she’s listening to and they end up listening to music together? i really love your writing, the way you write for the reader is incredibly good.

I'm so sorry it's been so long! Full disclosure, this is very different than what you sent in (aka I wasn't feeling cool and mysterious enough to figure out the right music to use) so this is what we have - thank you so much for your request! I hope this did it some form of justice <3 Content Warnings: Mild discussion of injury/Canon-typical violence (non-graphic), Reader is self-blaming, Written quickly and not proofread, Chess References, Aaron Hotchner quotes Kung Fu Panda WC: 1.2k

A Game of Trust

Footsteps sound from down the aisle. You don’t look up until they’ve stopped, right next to you, and Hotch slides into the seat next to yours. Offering him a weak smile, you bow your head and return your attention to the newspaper in your hands. 

He doesn’t accept your ignorance as a valid form of dismissal. 

“Are you alright?” he says. His voice is low, likely so he won’t wake the team. Even so, there’s a wariness to his expression. He’s approaching you like he would a caged animal, poised to strike at any intrusion of its engineered peace. 

Maybe he isn’t wrong. You don’t feel quite as far away from snapping as you usually do. 

You nod. “I’m fine, Hotch. Just tired.”

When you bow your head again, the black-and-white symbols on the page blurring just a little, he gently takes the paper from your hands and sets it on the table in front of you both. Even if you were fine before, you aren’t now. 

“Hey–” you say, shifting in your seat to glare at him. He’s as composed as usual, his head tilted to one side as he stares you down. As much as you want to stay angry with him, the concern you think you spot in his eyes foils that plan for you. 

“I think everyone on this team, and probably off of it, knows that ‘I’m fine’ never means ‘I’m fine’,” he pauses. You watch his eyes flicker towards the newspaper on the table and the frown that tugs at his mouth when he spots the unfinished chess problem you’ve been pretending to work on. “Reid’s okay, you know. He is.” 

You follow his line of sight, stubborn enough to try to work on it from a distance. Three pawns, two kings, a rook and a bishop. That’s all there is to it. It’s simple enough, but without Reid’s murmured commentary in your ear, you can’t think your way through it. But Spencer isn’t here. He’s one week into a mandatory leave of six, so you’ll have to solve the problem yourself. 

And you try. If you move the rook to the seventh rank…but that doesn’t work, black’s bishop takes.

Hotch isn’t pleased. He flips the paper over so you’re forced to look up at him. You bought it from the small town the team just closed a case in, as your tradition demands, and you’ve forgotten to rip off the headline. It’s a blaring reminder of the violence you’ve seen over the past five days. 

You scoff. “He’s not alright. He took a bullet to the shoulder, Hotch–”

“–Instead of you,” he says, and doesn’t back down when your eyes narrow at him. “That’s the issue, isn’t it? That he went in first? That he got hurt, and not you?”

Your breath hitches, and the frown you’ve levelled at him softens ever so slightly. Patient as ever, Hotch watches you, scans your face whilst he waits for your answer. 

It pours out of you in a hapless string of words you’re surprised he can understand. “He shouldn’t have. We should never have split up. I should’ve called for backup–”

Hotch’s voice is soft, but firm. “There was no time for backup. You know that.”

You hate to admit it, but he’s right. It’s been nine days since Reid’s been stuck at home recovering. In those nine days, you’ve visited his apartment with home-cooked meals, watched God knows how many episodes of Doctor Who, and called him every evening you’ve been away on this case. In those nine days, you’ve reconstructed – down to the millisecond – the crack of the gunshot, then Reid’s collapse; the unsub’s, then the warmth of Spencer’s blood staining your hands as you pressed down on his wound.

Hotch is right. There’d been no time to wait for help once the two of you had realised the man you were set to interview was the unsub you’d been searching for, no time when you knew a young girl’s life was at risk. But that knowledge doesn’t make the whole affair sting any less.

“This job is all about calculation,” says Hotch. His eyes trace your face, refusing to let you sink into self-blaming territory. “It’s about decision-making when there’s no time for it. It’s about guessing at the odds and acting on that instinct. Reid knows that better than anyone. That’s why he’s still alive. It’s why you’re here, too, with this team.”

You make no response. Sighing, he takes the newspaper and sets it down between the two of you, then reaches for the pen you left on it. The unfinished puzzle stares at you from the back page. 

Though far from your usual self, you can’t resist teasing him just a little. “Thanks, Master Oogway.”

His returning expression is one reserved for the worst of the police chiefs you encounter as a unit, but you swear you see his shoulders sag as much as his rigid posture allows, and his eyes are soft. 

“You are too concerned with what was and what will be,” he quotes, deadpan. From the moment the words pass his lips, you know he regrets it. Then, raising an eyebrow, he hands you the pen and stares down at the page in your laps. 

Minutes pass without a word spoken by either of you. With a tentative smile threatening to form on your face, you look up at Hotch. “Do you even play chess?”

“Sometimes, with Jack,” he tells you. “Reid wasn’t Gideon’s only student. Someone had to be the guinea pig.”

“Guinea pig?”

Hotch hums. “He got bored, in the end.”

You laugh, and within another half hour, the two of you manage it. It’s far from the five or ten minutes Reid waits before explaining the solution to you, hands flailing as he does, but you’re almost glad for the change. That’s a tradition reserved for the two of you; one on hold, but not finished with. 

Rook to the sixth rank, black’s pawn takes. White’s pawn to b7, checkmate.

It’s really that simple. Embarrassingly so. When you finally figure it out, Hotch drags a hand down his face, huffs out a laugh. Something warm builds in your chest that you decide not to question.

You’re not exactly happy, not without your closest friend next to you and rattling off every aviation statistic he knows. But you are somewhat reassured, and you’ve a completed chess puzzle to take to his apartment and gloat over when you next see him.

There’s movement in the seat next to you, and you have to suppress a frown when Hotch gets up and walks back towards the front of the plane. It’s the most he’s moved in an hour. You see him grab a few files from the briefcase on the couch, and then he’s back in his prior position with a pen in hand and a concentrated frown set in place. 

You aren’t sure how much time passes, but it’s wordless and comfortable, spent on your end with your head resting against the jet’s window.

The periodic scribble of Hotch’s pen eventually pulls you towards sleep. Before you’re all the way there, you register the distant rustle of fabric. When you wake a few hours later, it’s with a jacket tucked around your shoulders, and your head nestled in the crook of your boss’ neck. 

sorry for disappearing for two months! if you sent something to my inbox and I haven't written it, I'm very sorry! It's definitely not a lack of interest on my part, but more time constraints and a limit on how often I end up writing - please feel free to send a request/thoughts my way - even if I can't get around to them, I love reading them :) if you want them written especially soon though, I might not be your best bet!!

[teddypickerry]

Ok first I absolutely loved dad Jess it was so cute!! For dad Jess, can I request Alice saying her first word and Jess reacting to it please??

𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐃𝐑𝐎𝐏.

j. mariano !

PART TWO

pairings! single dad jess x dealing with daughter’s first word

warnings! cursing

word count! 1.2k

a/n! thank you for requesting!! i promise i’ll get the others out soon <3 jess & alice literally have my heart, i hope you guys love them as much as i do. requests are still open!!

ALICE MARIANO was the brightest of babies. for being less than a year old, she had already excelled in many more ways than one. she was ahead of most babies her own age by now. which didn't surprise her dad as much as it should have. he excelled as a baby — his uncle luke had explained to him several times. so no doubt his baby girl would do the same. but there was one way that she was just average. and that came in the form of speaking.

most babies averaged to say their first word around their first birthday. and with that in only three days, alice was cutting it short. the little girl was bigger by now. matching her father's dark messy hair, long eyelashes, and big eyes. she was practically mini jess. the two living comfortably by now. he could finally afford his own place without four roommates. this time only with one who happened to be very adorable.

the apartment hardly lived up to its name. it was a one room place, but came with a nice bathroom and he kept it decently tidy. alice had her own crib and several toys by the small window, directly beside jess's single bed. the room sported a small kitchen which consisted of a few cabinets, a run down oven, and a fridge. but the star of it all was the wooden desk jess had found on the street months ago. the second best night of his life, after his daughter's birth of course.

several of his works stacked the wooden desk. written with a typewriter the boy's uncle purchased for him for his nineteenth in the autumn. the apartments sat silent for several hours during the day while jess mariano spent his afternoon at his work. a nine to five that was starting to get on his nerves, and make him miss the walmart cooperation. on the bright side, the ridiculous office job that required him in button downs, did have a daycare. so his girl could be with him throughout the day. without actually being with him.

the two burst through the apartment door. the father's hands full with his baby and a few other items; mail; keys, briefcase - yes, he was one of those guys. alice hummed in her dad's ear something she had done recently. everytime believing she would be saying her first word. which jess anticipated every single time. even waking up luke at three in the morning because of this assumption. something the uncle was not too proud of.

"c'mon ali, toy time." jess told his little girl as he sat her in her crib, handing her two of her toys. before making his way around the apartment, putting his jacket and keys away. he reached for a bottle in the fridge, his mind stuck on what birthday present to get the girl. he had been saving up for the past few weeks. on what was the mystery. no matter what he got her, he knew she would have a delightful birthday. luke and lorelai, who were now an item, would be coming up from the hollow to visit the girl. spend the day with the almost toddler while jess was at work. not that she would notice, considering it was only her first.

"m- hmph," the baby sounded from across the room making jess nearly spill the bottle as he made his way over towards her. only holding his breath as he half expected the girl's first word to be mama. even though she lacked one of those. "ali cooper?

"me-fafafadel," she spit as he wiped her chin, smiling brightly at the little girl. her eyes like looking into his own — but much, much, better. "you got it, coop. keep talking."

"me-dup. mel-drop." she giggled making the teenager's eyes practically widen in awe as he ran over towards his desk. yanking the phone from the chord on the desk, shoving it to his ear with a quick dial. "meldrop; meldrop; meldrop." the boy mumbled as he made his way over towards the girl, tickling her with a grin. "so smart, ali."

three rings and a very frustrated answer caught the boy's attention. "what?"

"meldrop," jess smiled as he spoke into the phone. he could practically hear luke look around like he was on a prank show before pressing the phone between his ear and his shoulder. "i don't speak youths, jess."

"she said it. meldrop. don't know what it means but fuck- she spoke. it was, it was better than live-aid '85." the smile rolled off of his tongue and through the phone. luke's change in persona was sudden as he stood straightly, throwing down his pen from behind the diner counter. catching the eyes of several customers. "oh my god- jess. she's a genius."

"talking to justin timberlake about britney, because yes, i agree." lorelai grinned from the counter of the diner making luke turn to her. "alice said her first word."

the brightest grin erupted on both of the couple's faces as rory gilmore sat uncomfortably beside the two. it had been well over a year since she had broken up with the once troublemaker. only learning a few months ago that he had knocked up someone just a week after their breakup. the news haunted her, something that kept her wide awake at night. she was seriously over the boy by now and had no reason to dislike the baby, obviously. baby alice had done nothing but existed and reminded rory of her failed relationship. she'd yet to meet the small child, considering her spent time was mostly at yale. which conveniently kept her far away from stars hollow whenever jess visited.

"i'm not fucking-" jess groaned to himself as he shut his mouth. "she said one word. took almost a year, said it once. she's not gonna say it a-"

"meldrop!" the brunette baby giggled making jess's jaw nearly drop. the couple on the other side of the phone practically shook the whole building with their happiness. rory sat at the counter with a slight grin on her face. "what were you saying jess?"

"oh screw you!" he swatted making luke hand herself the phone, taking it from lorelai. "now you gotta watch what you say 'round her. she's a baby, jess. a baby. she can't be coming around to preschool throwing around the f-bomb."

"well that would be pretty fantastic," jess smirked making luke practically groan. "this is why you shouldn't be a father-"

"okay let's just, simmer." lorelai straightened out as she yanked luke's arm. rory piped up finally, her arms still crossed. "what'd she say?"

"meldrop." luke replied simply making rory give them both a very odd look at the ecstatic reactions. "i'm assuming neither of you know the true meaning."

"oh god. did she just say to start a massacre. i knew she was a little devil," lorelai joked making rory bite her lip before shaking her head. luke growing impatient as jess could faintly listen on the other side. "it's mucus. you know... snot, that hangs from someone's nose."

"... can i take back the massacre?" lorelai questioned as luke simply blinked his eyes before pressing the phone hardly into his ear. "jess-?"

"she's gonna be a doctor. goddamn little einstein."

[babesonly]

fic recs 2.0!

hello kings (gn) ive got significantly more fic than last time which means this is gonna be a little more organized than the last post bc it is much longer <3 categories in order are non casefic canonverse, casefic/roadtrip fic, finale fixits, endverse, non supernatural aus, and then non destiel ones. titles will be in bold for my favs! also within each category they’re in order from shortest to longest

Canonverse

I’m a tulip in a cup by godtiering (1.2k)

I worry that I never really came back from hell. I wonder why, if I got remade by heaven, I’m still the same screwed up kid that I always was.

Sometimes I worry I’m not into women at all.

"Guess not,” he looks at his shoes.

a REALLY good fic that’s basically just a look inside dean’s head during my bloody valentine do not read this looking for a fun time but please do read it

on vessels by flightsofangels (1.9k)

“You know,” Cas mutters into Dean’s bare skin. “When I was still… an angel, I used to dream that I would take you as my vessel.”

hello consumehimnatural fans!!!!! read newt’s fic right now its incredible

dean winchester is not a nicholas sparks protagonist by microcomets (1.9k)

Dean fell in love with Cas the way you fall asleep--slowly, and then all at once. Or some other hackneyed and trite bullshit. God, this is embarrassing.

dean is in LOVE. he’s also a disaster who keeps staring at cas’ hands. sigh

Stay by aeli_kindara (2.5k)

Coda to 13.06 (Tombstone). In which Castiel reckons with the aftermath of Dean's grief.

hello fellow widow arc fans <3 click here to see cas find out abt the events of advanced thanatology !

walking on a string by swordfishtrombones (2.7k)

Between the doomed offensive at the Firmament and the impending retreat from the ravaged northeast border, Castiel left camp long enough to answer one of Dean Winchester's prayers.

S6 DEAN IS A WAR WIFE. been really into early seasons deancas lately and this one is very good. god

the flesh of the mighty by Mudprophet (2.7k)

Ezekiel 39:17 "you shall eat the flesh of the mighty and drink the blood of the princes of the earth."

MY GOD. anyone who saw the @autisticandroids​ purgatory cannibalism talk and was interested read this right now. also anyone who enjoyed nbc hannibal OR raw (2016). if romantic cannibalism is remotely aligned with your interests read this right now. god

Sam Winchester, Ally At Law by alittleduck (3.3k)

Sam was pretty sure he could read every single gay friendly guide to coming out or supporting queer family members ever written and literally none of them would even imply that arguing with gay people that they were actually just homophobic constituted as "ally behavior". However, Sam was equally sure that none of those book authors had found themselves accidentally watching their brother get pounded by an Angel of the Lord at 9 am on Tuesday, so Sam was pretty sure he might actually still have the higher ground. Now, if only Jack would stop trying to bond with Dean using gay slurs long enough for Sam to convince everyone of that, he might just be able to cobble together some remnant of sanity or, failing that, dignity.

Or, the one where Sam desperately wants to invent PFLAG but Dean won't stop teaching Jack gay slurs

JACK VOICE HEY COCKSUCKERS. 

hummed low by microcomets (3.3k)

Dean pulls the Impala over at a cider barn about thirty miles out; doesn't really think about it, just sees the hokey orange lettering off the roadside and lets his hands guide the Impala off the interstate with gravel spitting under the wheels.

they get a nice day out together and dean has a gay crisis and it’s written beautifully mwah

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi (3.9k)

In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything.

sometimes i think about this fic and it hits that at this point dean and cas would have been married for more than a year. cas my beloved...

an exploration of gender; angelic by sometimeswelose (4k)

Castiel's true form is made of electromagnetic radiation. He has spent the majority of his life, if you really want to add it all up and average the whole thing out, as a wavelength of celestial intent.

The thing about being made of light: it's light in the physics sense of the word. Castiel's waves are gamma, x-ray, micro, and radio. He's visible light too, of course, a visible light so intense that it is blinding to most humans.

hello trans cas community <3 he’s literally trans he was assigned genderless and then went hm actually i will be a man! love of my life

Some Boys are Sleeping Alone by prosopopeya (4.2k)

This isn't something that's okay, not for him, but it chases him through the years until it turns into something he can't -- doesn't want to deny. 

ohhh deans tenuous relationship with his sexuality my beloved...

love. worship. consummation. consumption. by redeyedwrath (4.3k)

ConsumehimNatural (copyright marcusantonius) the Series!

These are all snapshots centered around the idea of you know. Hunger in Supernatural. Both carnal hunger and other kinds. Fics are shown in semi-chronological order but this series is generally nebulously early seasons.

for ANYONE who is a consumehimnaturual this is required reading it is INCREDIBLE and gorgeous and very visceral and i am so very obsessed with it. thank you redeyedwrath for enabling my brainrot

the reach of human sense by perilously (4.5k)

“You know what Jimmy Novak looked like. You think he was beautiful—gorgeous, hot, all of it. It’s him. Not me. This isn’t my face.”

“But,” Dean says. He doesn’t know where he’s going with it. Just that Cas’ face is right there, brows drawn together and cheekbones gleaming in the lamplight. It’s a face that’s made his heart skip probably a couple hundred beats collectively since they met.

And it used to belong to someone else.

this one is just very nice <3 cas gets uncomfortable w dean calling him attractive since dean has never seen his trueform and they work it out

Down in the River by Ias (4.7k)

Alone in Purgatory and hunted by Leviathans, Castiel finds himself praying to the one person who can't hear him.

cas i love you <3 cas alone in purgatory praying to dean bc dean is the only thing he still worships i love you so much

Creature of Habit by trinityofone (5.1k)

The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well.

written in s5 when cas was depowered and completely nails the later seasons bitchy husbands dynamic it’s very good and fun <3

sink by crackers4jenn (5.4k)

"Where to?" A 9.06 coda.

very bittersweet very well written and also canon compliant so do not go into this one looking for a happy ending but i DO recommend it it’s very good

Sensational by castiowl (6.1k)

“When I first came to earth, it was advised that we temper the senses bound to our vessels. They were a distraction, we were told. An antiquated form of experiencing existence that would hinder our ability to complete our missions, whatever that may be. My true form can better facilitate these experiences. What you would recognize as heightened senses of sight and sound, among other things.”

Or, how Dean helps Cas experience all five human senses for the first time in one night.

early seasons deancas man. i love the sound part i love dean being so worried about doing a good job with this. god. read this please

Something to Protect by Sass_Master (6.2k)

Dean’s violent reaction to being unexpectedly woken has become something of a running joke among them, but Castiel can’t help but look past it to the underlying cause. It makes him ache to think that Dean feels so unsafe, so persecuted, before he’s even fully conscious.

Secretly, Castiel has been determined to work on that, to ease Dean into awareness in a less jarring way, smooth away one of the many stresses that follow him even in sleep. Now’s as good a time as any to try.

oh to sleep more soundly in the presence of someone you love...this fic is very nice i enjoyed it a lot

all this and heaven too by ftmsteverogers (7k)

“Hey,” Dean said. “I’m not ashamed of you, okay?”

Cas raised skeptical eyes to meet his.

“I mean it,” Dean insisted.

“I understand you mean it,” Cas said. “But I don’t think it’s any better if you’re only ashamed of yourself.”

hello trans dean community here is 7k of trans dean having to deal with his internalized homophobia now that he’s sleeping with cas <3 it is SO good

The wilderness. by orange_crushed (8k)

He takes a shower and the pressure is not especially good, but it doesn’t matter. It’s warm and he stands under the spray a long time. Human skin, he knows, constantly renews itself, shedding the dead cells of the epidermis. He wonders how long it will take until he is an entirely new person, until every cell on his surface is a new one. He looks at his hands under the water. It might take less than a month.

this might be the only post 9x03 fic on here with a happy ending actually? plenty of good melancholy leading up to it though <3 canon divergent after 9x03 though which means no 9x06 fanfiction gap but it is absolutely worth reading

till the juice runs by deathbanjo (8.4k)

Apparently whoever drew up the venn diagram of Dean’s sex life decided the circle labelled ‘good sex’ and the one labelled ‘sex with men’ should be kept far apart.

hello this one is SO funny dean finally gets comfortable enough with his bisexuality to start having sex with men and it goes so very bad every time so sorry about your shitty choices beloved </3

First Date by aeli_kindara (8.9k)

“We should go on a date. You and me.”

Castiel wishes he could see Dean’s face. He wishes he had any idea what to say.

“I’m asking you out, Cas.”

this one is very sweet i liked it a lot <3 good refreshing little fic where they just get to have a nice evening together

Entertaining Strangers by cadignan (9k)

Dean settles on to his side, lying in the bed facing Castiel. “So you had sex without me and you bit all my moves. I think I deserve to hear about it, at least. What was her name?”

op im in love with you. premise is established relationship deancas and cas mentions he did have sex before dean and not only that it was a threesome. good for him <3 this fic is cas describing the story of what led up to the threesome and what happened during it while dean interrupts regularly. incredible

the shape you take by noviembre (10k)

“What?” Dean says, fake-offended. “I’d be hot as a girl, you know I would.”

And this is when he really, really should have stopped talking. When he shouldn't have whipped back around and asked, “Cas, if I was a woman, you’d fuck me, right?”

Because if he hadn’t said that, then he wouldn’t have had to deal with this:

Cas, meeting his eyes, forehead wrinkles all smoothed out like there’s nothing to be confused about anymore. Cas with something at the corner of his mouth that might barely be called a smile.

Cas saying, calmly and without hesitation, “Yes, Dean.”

--

Dean Winchester fucks around and, with the inadvertent help of some witches, Finds Out.

dean winchester your gender is diabolical. this fic is insane and its the only thing that matters actually. dean fully convinced its normal and straight to think about being a woman so you can fuck your male friend. incredible. op im proposing to you

Sinnerman by a_good_soldier (10k)

Dean listens to Nina Simone, reads Anne Carson, and makes out with a dude (sort of).

yall want to read about dean realizing he’s in love with a man as a direct result of learning to better respect women right?

you’re fooling yourself by cowboydeanwinchester (13k)

Dean Winchester and Castiel retire from hunting to raise baby Jack. Dean struggles to allow himself the things he truly wants.

Jack is two, Castiel and Dean are idiots, and Sam's gotta solve everyone's problems.

love a married couple who doesn’t know they’re married <3 everyone say thank you sam for bullying dean 

The Girlfriend Experience by rageprufrock (15k)

While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.

a classic for good fucking reason. we’ve all talked about dean thinking holding hands is too gay after having just had gay sex but my personal favorite was sam accusing dean of cheating on cas because dean bought condoms. incredible

No Kingdom To Come by domesticadventures (16k)

“We should fuck,” Dean says.

Cas looks up from where he sits on his bed, hair still damp from the shower, frowning as he places a finger on the page of his book to mark where he left off.

There are a million things Cas could say here; Dean has rehearsed them. After lunch, his restlessness had given way to a vague panic, a dread that matched his every step and crept along with him from room to room. Eventually, he had returned to his bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon pacing back and forth, playing out all the possible scenarios. When Cas asks him Why? or Are you being serious? or when he sighs and says, in that way he has, Dean, he knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s going to shrug casually, like he isn’t invested in the answer, like he isn’t desperate for an outlet, and say, Why not? He’s going to raise an eyebrow and say, What, are you not interested? He’s going to crowd into Cas’ personal space, he’s going to shove himself right up in there and whisper Cas against his ear.

Instead, Cas says, carefully, “Okay.”

literally the only quarantine fic i’ve ever bothered to read in any fandom and completely worth it it’s SO good. they become fwb and dean has an existential crisis and he keeps bringing up meaninglessness and death during sex

Bodies by Speary (18k)

It was a secret they never acknowledged even with each other. It would change everything, end everything if either of them ever dropped the act. So they became very good at acting, at keeping up the lie that gave them what they wanted. Even if that lie involved constantly seeking out temporary, consenting female vessels, Cas would do it. He told himself it was worth it for Dean. He just hoped that he could stop wanting more, or maybe one day Dean might stop pretending that he wasn't really sleeping with Cas every time.

i don’t even have anything to add tbh if that summary did not immediately make you click we are very different this fic is incredible. god. fellas do you ever make yourself a woman so you can fuck the man you love without him having to talk about it or confront his sexuality

it’s such a mystery (the way you know me) by fleeceframe (20k)

So the man crouching in front of Castiel is named Dean. He wonders if that’s supposed to mean something to him.

“Cas must’ve got hit with something earlier. He just dropped like a sack of fucking potatoes a minute ago. By the time I was checking on him, he had already woken up again, but now he doesn’t fucking know who we are.”

“I’m right here you know,” Castiel says testily.

Sam’s eyes are wide even as his eyebrows are furrowed, and he looks between Dean and Castiel again.

“What do you remember, Cas?”

“Firstly, that I’m not Cas. I don’t know who Cas is, but it’s not me. I don’t know who either of you are, either."

or the one where castiel is hit with a memory curse that makes him forget the winchester brothers and is stunned to find out he has a family... also why can't he stop thinking about dean?

BEST amnesia fic oh my god. cas my beloved you deserve the world. everyone read this that is not a request.

More Than Ever by Sass_Master (20k)

Dean’s getting some pancakes together for breakfast when Cas saunters in after a run.

He’s trying to focus on whisking batter, unfairly distracted by Cas a few feet away, breathing heavily and shining with perspiration. Dean’s been painfully aware for a long time that Cas is pretty easy on the eyes, but he’s used to seeing Cas buttoned-up and unflappable, looking straight-laced in a stiff oxford and an unflattering trenchcoat.

Now Cas is sweating, Dean’s borrowed t-shirt clinging to his skin, flushed from exertion and Dean really can’t deal with that in his kitchen right now.

this entire series is really good i enjoyed it a lot, i’m just putting this one specifically on the list bc the rest of the series is very explicit and this is really good as a standalone for anyone who wouldn’t be into the rest of the series!!

Being Dean Winchester by Anonymous (20k)

"You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in."

Who the fuck was this bitchy "warrior of God" doing talking to him like that? Fuck Cas-tee-el and his dumbass trench coat and abrasive motherfucking attitude.

Dean was done with this shit.

***

Wherein a monster of the week steals the essence of Castiel's vessel, so he must use Dean, recently raised from hell, as a vessel instead.

it is at this point i realize that there are more fics than i expected there to be on this list that involves a threesome with only two people/using the presence of a female body to act like what’s happening is heterosexual. deangirlism is a disease 

I Shall Not Want by domesticadventures (20k)

His grace is burning out, and the wasteland it leaves inside him becomes an echo chamber for all the memories, all the fear and doubt and self-loathing he's collected over the years. Things said and done hound him on endless repeat until he's convinced they’ll break through his skin and fill the silence of the bunker.

His head is killing him, and he sits hunched over an open book, not really reading, just digging his fingers into his skull and praying nothing slips through the cracks.

this one is GORGEOUS i love it so so much. dean and cas are both struggling so much to get by and they’re trying to support each other but fucking it up and they have to grow together and learn to cope with the fact that this is where their lives are and they fall in love i need everyone to read this

To Boldly Go by 8daysuntiltheapocalypseiguess (24k)

Title: Just One of Those Things Author: Impala67 Series: TOS Rating: M Summary: Four years into their five-year mission, and all the planets start to look the same.

In which Dean is not Gene Roddenberry, but he does write Star Trek fanfiction.

mx winchester writing star trek fanfiction to process his own trauma <3 this is a wip but it’s SO good and i also have not consumed a single piece of star trek media so it IS definitely readable to anyone who isn’t a star trek fan. please read this

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo (30k)

“Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”

this is on here just for the 1.5 people who were putting off this one like i did for no reason. it’s extremely good and it is just gentle. i enjoyed it a lot

Heroes for Ghosts by pantheon_of_discord (42k)

After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.

Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.

yall ever wonder what it would’ve been like if the sam and dean arrest storyline in s12 was interesting? yeah <3

Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara (52k)

In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean.

(A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)

cas learning about humanity through poetry before dean and thats what led to him developing enough emotion to be lobotomized....cas i love you so much

Emergence by ellispark (58k)

Something’s been missing from Dean’s life for the past three years, a void left after a hunt gone terribly wrong. He often feels a sense of longing with no discernible cause, a need to talk to someone who isn’t there.

A call from an acquaintance leads Dean to James Novak, a man who disappeared more than a decade ago, and suddenly Dean gets the feeling he’s found what he’s been missing. But James isn’t really James — he’s the angel Castiel, who’s wanted by angels, demons and hunters alike. And he may be at the center of the storm that wrecked Dean’s life all those years ago.

another cool amnesia fic!! for unknown reasons everyone forgot cas three years ago but cas didn’t forget anything. cas deserves so much love and support. god

a turn of the earth by microcomets (95k)

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

cas getting to meet and fall in love with pre hell dean just as much as he loves the dean he already knows oh my GOD. i love this fic so much. turn of the earth my beloved

Crossing Lines by sometimeswelose (122k)

Two Deans, one Cas - it's not as sexy as it sounds

Or

An ethics lesson from Hell

Or

The one where Dean from the past meets Dean in the present. They're not sure they like each other very much.

deans intense self hatred vs cas’ unwavering love for every version of dean oh my GOD also this is a wip fair warning but it’s so worth waiting for updates i’m having such a great time with this one i cannot wait to see how it gets ended

Plot Holes by saltyfeathers (160k)

Of course it wasn’t over after the apocalypse.

There was season six. Then there was season seven. Against all expectations, there was season eight. There were the alphas and purgatory, and then the Leviathans, and then the angels fell. Enter season nine. Loose threads Metatron, Abaddon, and Crowley have to be tied up. Sam, Dean, and Cas have to try to tie them while at the same time dealing with their evolving relationships and newfound graceless states.

Amidst all the chaos, someone has started publishing the Supernatural novels again. Convinced there’s something amiss in the pages, Charlie starts her own quest to suss out the truth behind the Winchester Gospels.

With the help of various faces, old and new, they must now not only deal with the typical runs of demons and recently fallen angels, but also reconcile the battles raging inside themselves, as the fate of the world, once again, quite literally lays in the palm of their hands.

saltyfeathers said i WILL make the plot holes in this show mean something because the showrunners are sure as shit never gonna adress them ! and i thank them for it bc this was a really cool read

Casefic/Roadtrip Fic

Deprived Of Every Planet by KelpietheThundergod (9k)

Dean's breathing is audible in the scant space between them, irregular. The motel room is dark, pale blue shadows falling in through the gaps in the blinds. Throwing a pattern of uneven white stripes over the bunched up covers. Over Dean's fingers twisted in the sheets. One half of him in shadow, softened by the dark. The heat of his skin. The tremble of him under Castiel's touch.

He caresses a hand over Dean's chest, slowly. Dean's mouth falls open, his body arching into Castiel's touch. Castiel stops over Dean's heart. Through the fever of his desire, he rejoices about the wonder of experiencing another's heartbeat through one's own senses.

Dean gasps, but then he turns his face away and towards the dark. Eyes closed tight and brows furrowed like something is hurting him.

Castiel stills.

“Dean?”

the case is background on this one but it Does take place over the course of a case so im putting it here. god touchstarved dean trying so hard to work through his shit for cas head in my hands i love this fic so much

before and after breakfast by spocklee (10k)

The monster of the week is a ghost who hates meat, alcohol, and feeling yourself. Guess who it is during the commercials.

chapter 2 of this one.....god. dean and cas you are both so unwell <3 i love everything abt this fic everyone read it now

we shovel all the ashes out by xylodemon (15k)

Dean’s always known things were headed this way. He just figured getting dragged under would be cleaner and easier than jumping in feet-first.

fics that make you go Oh they love each other...also there’s lesbians in it literally what else could you want.

thunder road by dothraki_shieldmaiden (20k)

After Chuck is defeated and the Winchesters settle into life without God, Dean Winchester is bored.

OR: Dean and Cas take a road trip and figure out some stuff along the way.

this fic is just like. it’s kind! this fic is kind it’s just a pleasant experience and i enjoyed it thoroughly. they’re in love and it’s good

Suck It, Judy Garland by GlitterDwarf, midrashic (20k)

It had to be St. Louis. Or, the one where Sam and Cas get fake married for a case, and Dean loses his mind.

actually im gonna defend dean here imagine youre dean and cas gives what definitely sounded like a deathbed love confession while making eye contact with you and then immediately afterwards fake dates your brother. who among us would not have been a bitch about this

best friends without benefits by lizbobjones (20k)

It’s nearing three a.m. and they’ve been on the road a long time. Sam’s been asleep in the back seat since eleven. Giving up and handing the wheel over to Cas and letting the guy who doesn’t sleep drive had seemed like a good idea.

the premise of this fic is so funny. cas voice dean you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid. everyone read this

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo (22k)

This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore.

alt version of getting rid of the mark of cain, the darkness never happens. this one is VERY heavy but it’s so good and it has a hopeful ending. ive read this one twice and loved it both times

Someone Who’s Feeling For Me by ellispark (45k)

Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.

Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.

Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

hello op please contact me. please contact me and let me see the inside of your brain. this fic was an unparalleled experience and everyone should also go through it. i love it so very much

Bumper Cars by mansikka (111k)

Two teenagers are missing from an abandoned carnival, and there’s enough to raise suspicion that their disappearance involves a ghost. Dean, Sam, and Cas arrive in town to investigate, though what they find leads them away from those teenagers, and on the trail of a ghost story that churns up things from their past.

Can newly-human Cas, and Dean, with the help of shipper!Sam, work out the mystery behind the abandoned carnival and its ghost, and along the way, figure out the riddle that is them?

one of my absolute fav case fics it forces dean to confront some aspects of johns parenting and work through some shit and also him and cas fall in love and it’s really well done. love this one a lot <3

Finale Fix-its/Finale Denial

Sorry Jimmy by K_K_TiBal (2.1k)

Based on the tumblr textpost:

jellydeans: so are cas and jimmy novak just up in heaven existing at the same time katebushstandean: #jimmy moves to heaven timbuku so that dean stops trying to make out with him every time they run into each other at the heaven grocery store

this one is just extremely funny. local midwestern heterosexual man is forced to play relationship counselor to the dumbest gay people in existence because one of them wore his face

Dean Winchester Really Needs To Make Some Gay Friends by AreYouReady (2.2k)

“Like, I’m trying to think if I’ve had, I don’t know, crushes. If I ever had a gay thing before you came along and just didn’t notice,” Dean said.

Cas suddenly looked down, and away from Dean. If Dean didn’t know better, he would swear Cas looked guilty.

“What is it, Cas?”

“You have had several… gay things before.” Cas still wouldn’t look at him.

“What? When? How come you know this better than I do?”

There was no way the answer to this question wasn’t funny as hell.

dean learning about gay ppl via the memories of dean smith...incredible.

tiny difference (between ending and starting to begin) by sunforgrace (2.4k)

Sometimes Dean catches Cas staring at the sky.

It doesn’t happen often. Not when Dean’s around to tell, anyway. But often enough that he starts to notice.

Eventually Dean starts to recognize the pattern.

Cas just doesn’t watch the sky. He watches the birds.

Chuck is gone, Cas is human, and the world is safe. In the quiet aftermath Dean and Castiel find each other again.

i really don’t have much to say abt this one it is just very good and they love each other so much

Bring Home by cenotaphy (3.8k)

Dean's phone doesn't ring on the drive back to the Bunker, but that's okay. Because—well, maybe Cas lost his cell, what with getting shuffled back and forth between a cosmic void dimension and all. And anyway, Dean doesn't want this conversation to happen over the phone, he wants to—he wants to talk to Cas face-to-face. They should talk face-to-face.

Dean will tell him—

Dean doesn't know what he'll tell Cas. Dean is, in fact, terrified by how utterly and completely he does not know what he'll say to Cas.

cas being forced to face the consequences of sending the risky text that was despair <3

dean’s coworkers vs the heteronormative agenda by cowboydeanwinchester (4.1k)

Dean started working at a local auto repair shop in Lebanon, Kansas about a year ago. His coworkers don't know much about him. Except that he has a wife. Or maybe he doesn't. But he has a kid. Who is either a toddler or a high schooler. Who is either named Jack or Sammy. He also might have a best friend named Cas, but that also might be his wife.

Truth is nobody knows what to make of Dean.

obsessed w people not knowing a single fucking thing about dean because he talks so much and never explains anything. this fic is SO funny

Enhanced Extraction Techniques by goldenraeofsun (5.8k)

The Empty takes Meg’s shape, Samandriel’s, Duma’s, every one of the thousands of angels Cas killed up in heaven. But in the middle of lecturing Cas in the form of Balthazar, it explodes in a burst of light and sound.

Dean Winchester stands in the aftermath.

the empty playing mind games on an awake cas bc it can’t put him to sleep is a thing i like a lot and this is very very good 

Speak Silence No More by rea_sunshine (8.1k)

When Dean imagined this moment, it went like this:

Dean bursts into the Empty—guns blazing, chin high, righteous anger coursing through him. No matter what form his plans and fantasies and whiskey-drunk-whispered-promises took, he is always, always successful. When he imagined it, he was finally the hero Cas deserved.

The reality of the moment is this:

It’s fucking cold.

dean and cas STILL managing to not communicate with each other properly after the confession is so funny to me and this fic does it really well. also i like that a human being in the empty, where humans do NOT belong, had some like. consequences

my heart is a compass by lagaudiere (10k)

“There you are,” the Empty says, in Dean’s voice. It’s cold, like Dean’s eyes are cold, his expression set in contempt. It’s the expression Cas feared, he realizes, all the times he thought about saying it. Revulsion. It makes him feel sick in the way that goes beyond physical, here where there is nothing physical left.

The moment before it happened had been so sweet it covered up all the hurt. For years, Cas had been holding back those words, biting down on his tongue to keep from saying them. And now he had said it, and he knew that it was good, knew that it was worth it. But on the other side there is only this.

--

In the Empty, Cas dreams of his regrets, until someone comes looking for him.

one of thee best dean rescues cas from the empty fics out there i love the way his memories are written i love how many of them were ones that this fic came up with to give me new things to have brainworms over instead of just making me more fixated on He Watched Him Rake Leaves than i already am

killing time by orestespdf (11k)

It's been four years since Dean saved Cas from the Empty and confessed his feelings in return, and in their Vermont lakehouse, the retired couple is now learning how to heal. One morning, Dean gives Cas a haircut.

(A character study of Castiel.)

perfect fic perfect fic no notes no complaints they love each other so much and now dean is giving cas a haircut and they’re spending the day together. god.

and every time we kiss, i swear i can fly by knameless (14k)

Every time, Dean tells himself it’s the last.

--

aka, twelve times dean and cas kiss.

a just boy best friends kiss for every season <3 mwah

for which no words exist by MediaWhore (14k)

'a prayer for which no words exist' // richard siken

"Dear Cas who art in my bathtub, give me the strength to be honest about how I feel. For your sake and for mine. Forgive me all the times I wasn’t in the past, all the words I should have said but didn’t. And please stay. Please stay with me when all is said and done. Amen. "

Dean rescues a newly human Cas from the Empty. That's the easy step.

mediawhore i am in LOVE with you oh my god this fic. this fic. dean taking care of cas after rescuing him dean wrapping cas in a blanket oh my GOD

swimming with the fish pond fish by februyuri (17k)

Some time between Dean bleeding out on a makeshift hook in a barn in Ohio and Sam making marshmallows on his funeral pyre, Dean was brought back to life. By Castiel. Again. Dean agreed to it if only to give Jack time to work out the glitches up top. So, now Dean’s back in the land of the living and things are ... actually good, for once.

Or, as good as they can be when demons are attacking Earth, Dean’s failing to get over why he died in the first place, and Cas is suddenly, inexplicably taking every opportunity to casually tell Dean that he loves him.

this is a wip! but it is so good and so worth the read i love it a lot and am very excited for the last chapter. it IS pretty heavy though dean has a LOT to work through

looking like a true survivor (feeling like a little kid) by courfeyrac (20k)

"Jack’s a clever kid—has been ever since he was born, maybe even before that—but Dean’s pretty sure he hasn’t figured out where they’re going yet. And Dean’s… Dean’s excited about it. He remembers planning surprises for Sammy when they were little—saving up quarters and sneaking off to the arcade the year he turned seven, or slipping a book Dean had seen Sammy admiring into his jacket before sprinting out of the store the year he turned twelve. There was only so much Dean could give him back then, hindered by lack of finances and transportation and a father who paid attention. Now, though, Dean’s got a wallet full of cash, a tank full of gas, and the freedom to give his kid the kind of birthday he deserves."

Or, it's Jack's fourth birthday, and the kid wants to go to Build-A-Bear.

EVERYONE READ THIS RIGHT NOW. that is not a request this fic undid me. oh my god. oh my god. they’re a family and they’re going to build a bear and they love each other. oh my god. also no it isn’t a baby jack fic he is 4 and he is also alcal

what’s missing is found (our souls can exhale now) by sobsicles (27k)

It's not the first time Claire has ever gone missing. It is, however, the first time Kaia panics about it. Dean's dragged into the mess, but he soon finds that it's the best thing that could have happened to him.

~~~

"But have you ever just met someone and maybe it wasn't from the first moment, maybe it was after all these other moments that meant more than you ever expected them to, and it seems like your soul just—just—" Kaia makes a helpless gesture with her hands, pushing out, and she breathes out loudly. "Like it can finally exhale. And that person isn't guaranteed to make you happy, but they're—they're important. You just know it, you can't even escape it, you can't let them go. Ever met someone like that, Dean?"

"I—" Dean halts, his mouth hanging open. He's looking at Kaia, who's looking at him, and his heart is fluttering in his throat like a caged bird aching to soar again. His mind threatens to spiral out of control, but he focuses, swallowing hard. "Yeah. Um. I—yeah, I have."

deancas AND dreamhunter we love to see it also dean DOES smoke weed with kaia and apologizes for pulling a gun on her what more could you want in a fic

Command Me To Be Well by prospopeya (28k)

Dean did a lot of thinking about when and how he would get Cas back. Months of it, actually, stretching into a year, because while Sam and Eileen were settling into their new lives, Dean was stuck. He was stuck in a faraway corner of the bunker, dark and empty and hollow, ringing with the sound of a vibrating phone.

So when he falls to his knees in that same room, exhausted, hurting, breathless, and he feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to see Cas, he realizes that he doesn't have a single clue about what to do now. Getting Cas out had been easy--actually, it'd been the opposite of that--but the planning of it, the methodical desperation of one attempt after the other had been a familiar rhythm. It'd been soothing almost, solid, something to focus on that wasn't Cas's eyes, watery and jubilant in a way Dean hadn't ever seen that up close on anyone, let alone Cas.

And now Cas is pulling him to his feet, and Dean's stumbling, and he instinctually grabs Cas's arm, and his hand lights up with a fire that he isn't prepared for.

"Hello, Dean."

oh post despair lack of communication....oh dean refusing to work through his feelings...this fic is incredible i love it everyone who enjoys dean doing everything in his power to avoid talking about feelings up to and including having sex with the guy who’s in love with him multiple times should read this

break the skin (to break the barriers) by sobsicles (29k)

The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment.

SOBSICLES TATTOO FIC MY BELOVED. dean grieving and getting tattoos and it turns into tattoo therapy. im SO in love with mitzi it’s insane. requires some suspension of disbelief for how long a tattoo takes but it’s an incredible fic and an unparalleled experience. sobsicles does not miss

ascend by quiettewandering (53k)

Something in the world is wrong.

Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.

But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.

Or can it?

SUPER cool concept i liked this a lot i’m pretty sure everyone’s read it already but just in case someone hasn’t you absolutely should

oh sooner or later it all comes down to faith by sobsicles (62k)

Getting used to Heaven is something of a marvel. It ain't perfect, and Dean thinks he'd hate it if it was, which is probably why it isn't.

~~~

"You don't understand," Dean whispers, exhaling shakily. "I know you don't, because even I don't. The instant you were gone, I wanted you back. Cas, I wanted you back. I wanted—I wanted—"

Cas stares at him, searching his face. After a moment, his own face falls slack, eyes widening just so. "Oh," he breathes out.

Dean wants to be furious that Cas has figured it out before he has—whatever it is—but he's not even that surprised. Cas knows him too well, always has, even more than Dean knows himself. He's been kicking Dean in the goddamn teeth with how deeply he understands him, even about the things Dean doesn't, ever since they first met. You don't think you deserve to be saved, that's what Cas had said. All bundled up in impossibilities and power, this being that looked at Dean Winchester and knew every single inch of him, as if he had a right to each part.

"What?" Dean grits out.

"I love you, too."

the ONLY heaven fic. i do not read heaven fics bc i refuse to budge in my finale denialism i refuse to read fic where it is accepted that dean dies. i was hesitant to read this but god im glad i did it was so good. literally the best possible outcome of dean dying

Endverse

final fantasy. by orange_crushed (1.9k)

“If I’d actually been born human, would I have gotten sick like everyone else? Would I be running around gnawing on the neighbors?” Castiel tilts his head up and even from here Dean can see the black ring of his pupils, wide and dark as dead stars. He’s high as fuck and he’s been loading the guns for forty-five minutes. He stares into the space where Dean is. He smiles and shows his teeth. “Maybe you’d have already put a bullet in my head.”

"This is why you don’t lead storytime anymore," Dean says. "This kind of shit."

endverse last night on earth fics are something that can be so personal actually. god

The Last Song by Moorishflower (3.5k)

The very last song is the Song of Solomon, and Castiel sings it only for Dean. Set in "The End."

this is like. pre endverse and the tone is so like. wistful? is the best word ive got? it’s gorgeous i love it but fair warning there is graphic description of like. viscera and infected wounds

to think that we could stay the same by cipherwriter (6.5k)

cas has all he needs; himself, his creation, and enough power to continue this cycle for a long time. he's fine. dean wants to take care of him anyway.

oh my GOD this one is good it’s based off the thing of how originally endverse cas was supposed to be just sitting in a room killing and resurrecting the same cockroach over and over. very bittersweet at some points i love it a lot, do not read it if youre looking for something happy though lmao

the first church at the end of the world by withbloodstainedclothingon (11k)

The angels don’t eat the brain. Only Croats do that.

this one is fucked but it’s incredible it contains very heavy and violent subject matter and cas is an Actual cult leader he doesn’t just have orgies it is SO well done and i had a great time reading it i recommend it very highly if the warnings sound like something you can stomach

Down to Agincourt by seperis (1.1 million. i know. yes it’s a wip)

There is no such thing as a guarantee when it comes to war.

The outcome's known. Why try? Return your rusty sword to battered sheath, bow your head and bend your stubborn knee. Why take the field when you cannot win the war? But Harry -- he went down to Agincourt.

PLEASE. i know the length is intimidating i KNOW it’s a very long fic but please. please read down to agincourt i am begging you. head in my HANDS this series is incredible.

Non Supernatural AUS

Long-Term Relationship by bendingsignpost (2.7k)

Castiel says, budging over to make room for Dean on the couch, “I thought we should have a serious talk about our relationship.”

Reflexively, Dean laughs.

Castiel does not.

“Uh, Cas... you know we’re not dating, right?”

look man it’s bendingsignpost okay. it’s bendingsignpost it’s good and it’s sweet and you should read it

One White Lie by komodobits (11k)

Castiel takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t need to run through what he’s going to say – he’s already planned and edited and rehearsed it a thousand times. He is going to ask Dean Winchester out to dinner. If it’s not too forward, he’ll say, perfectly charming. You see, I’ve seen you around the neighbourhood and you always seem so earnest and I’d really like to get to know you bette— The door swings open, and Castiel panics.

He intends to excuse himself. He means to apologise and come back some other time. However, in a moment of blind fear, what comes out of his mouth instead are the words, “Could you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”

do you ever pretend to be a jehovahs witness for months to hang out with the guy you like because you fucked up asking him out? yeah.

separate ways and sleeping dogs by sobsicles (53k)

Dean is three years sober when Cas comes back into town.

~~~

For a moment, they just stare at each other. Dean, once again, has to swallow the urge to offer to swallow something else. It's very hard to resist the gut-wrenching pull of want that hooks in his chest whenever he looks at Cas. And to think, he used to have him, used to be able to act on that want.

God, he's so fucking stupid.

Well, there's no point in kicking himself three years later for shit he can't change. He'll just sit right here and pretend that his fingers aren't twitching with the urge to reach out and touch. He can't do that anymore, and it's his own damn fault.

"Three years ago," Cas prompts.

Dean huffs a weak laugh. "Yeah. Eventful."

this fic hit me SO hard emotionally oh my god. don’t have much to say bc most of my thoughts on this fic are very personal but my god read this please

Everyone’s a Critic by Englandwouldfall (109k)

The one where uninspired chef Dean Winchester has a one night stand with the male (!) food critic who described the flavour of his garlic bread as 'closeted' and accidentally ends up dating him to try and prove that he's a kick ass chef, thank you very much.

(He may have a point about the 'closeted' thing).

this one is SO fun. dating the food critic who called your garlic bread closeted and lying about your career because you’re embarrassed and you want to redeem your food in his eyes but then you fall in love with him

Non Destiel Centric

gender? you mean that thing i have that pisses people off? by bigender dean winchester (homosexualitie) (946 words)

sam and dean paint each other's nails and dean abuses the technicalities of her gender. what more could you want? 

HELLO HE/SHE DEAN COMMUNITY oh my god the pure rush of euphoria reading this. oh my god. oh my god. 

the quiet road to a distant city by rottingbrains (1.2k)

Sam stares out the windshield again. They’re approaching a city, and she can see the lights in the distance. She’s past the danger zone, and she feels like the world around her reflects that in some way she can’t put into words- as if God is telling her that it’s okay. She did the right thing, and soon she will be past the lonely unknown and into the warm, forgiving light of acceptance. Or something. Come to think of it, the lights only look warm from far away, and she knows that the actual city will seem far less welcoming. Still. Best not to imagine the worst when it’s already going well.

required reading for transfem lesbian sam fans. fics that live in your ribcage to make your heart feel good

Four People Ruby Seduced & One She Actually Fell For (Or: Ruby's Epic Love Affair with Humanity in General and Sam in Specific) by tuesday (3.7k)

In which Ruby has a lot of sex, is not any kind of therapist that would be legal, and helps a few people out for her own reasons. (S4/S5 AU)

for everyone out there who enjoys ruby being a girlboss <3

Fractured Link by Trell (orphan_account) (5.5k)

Meg goes on, resolute despite the way Dean flinches, "He likes me. He likes me a lot, and I like him back, and that's probably good enough for both of us. But fuck me for saying so, Dean-o, he loves you, probably more than anything else on his daddy's green Earth, and you need to man up and give back what Clarence over there has been devoting to you for years."

this is meg/dean/cas which is not smth i really seek out but this was extremely good. set in s7 so it’s meg and dean and honey cas and it’s a lot of dean figuring his shit out and trying to forgive cas and i love meg a lot in this

[sckyie]

hey bestie if you're still doing your song series, i was wondering if i could request the song happier by olivia rodrigo with akaashi ?

song: happier - olivia rodrigo

word count: 1.2k

warnings + genre: angst; break-up, just sad vibes throughout to fit the song

pronouns used: she/her

a/n: (◞‸◟；) i haven’t written angst but idk if this was good or not

Everything seemed so perfect. It was almost as if your relationship was the cliché movie. Together for nearly five years now, you had fallen in love with the best person you could've ever met.

The room was filled with the aroma of your cooking. The sunset shining through the window letting the warmth of the day in as it fades into night. You had your favorite playlist playing as you danced around the kitchen.

You carefully finished plating your dinner for you and your boyfriend as you heard the front door open. "I'm home," Akaashi sighed. You smiled as you approached the door to greet him.

"Hi baby, I made dinner," You gleamed.

"I'm not hungry," Akaashi dismissed. With a small frown, you attempt to try again.

"Well, maybe you could just try a little bit? I spent all day cooking us dinner and-" You rambled.

"We need to talk," He cuts you off, looking at you with tired eyes. A sting in your chest rung after hearing those words.

"What's wrong Keiji?" You tilted your head stepping closer, reaching out to touch his chest. He takes a step back before scratching the back of his neck. "Oh..."

"I just...think we should..." Akaashi trailed.

"Should?" You held your hands together, itching for some type of contact.

"We should break up," He said, ripping off the bandaid. Your eyes widened at his voice, not wanting to know why.

"B- but we're fine- why?" You started. "Am I doing too much? Did I do something wrong? Keiji, I can do better- Just why do you-"

"It's not you," He stopped you. "I..."

You felt the tears run down your cheeks. His hand reaches to wipe them off but retracts knowing it's for the better. "But...I thought you loved me?" You sobbed silently.

"There will always be love for you in my heart, I promise, Y/n," He explained. His heart was beginning to ache at the sight of your cries. Akaashi hated seeing you hurt, even more so if he was the cause. "I...I'm falling in love with someone else. I can't put you in a situation where I'm in love with another when I'm with you...I'm sorry."

You remained quiet as Akaashi rambled on trying to explain himself. Words of not wanting to hurt you laced with apologies of finding another. Suddenly the streetlights now illuminating through the blinds were the only thing you could see.

Akaashi dragged on his apologies to you, almost as if it's a chant. He observed how you had fallen silent and tried to reach out for comfort. You looked up at him before looking around the room. Dinner was getting cold, your anniversary photos meaning nothing now and where you stood was where he promised to marry you one day.

"I...I'll get my things out by the end of the week," Your voice cracked. Akaashi stopped his repeated sorry's, his eyes carefully watching you.

"W-wait, y-you're leaving? Y/n, I can leave, it's not your fault. I-" Akaashi started. He watched you walk past him, grabbing your car keys. You slipped on your shoes without a word before turning to leave. Your hand froze at the doorknob as you hesitated to leave. Wiping away your tears, you grabbed the handle, pulling open the door to walk out.

It's been nearly a month since it happened. You had sat at the window seat of the café with your laptop open to your work schedule. You let out a sigh wanting to take a break from the screen. Peering outside you noticed a familiar face. A hyper pro-athlete bouncing around his old third-year friends. You smiled at the sight of Bokuto, wanting to go out and say hi until you saw them.

Akaashi had walked hand in hand with his new girlfriend, smiling bigger than you've ever seen him before. The grin on your face fell taking notice of every bit of his new partner. Picking her apart as if it were a science experiment.

"Damn, that's her?" Your work husband, Souma, says breaking you out of your thoughts.

"Huh?" You say, grabbing the drink out of his hand.

"The girl your ex replaced you with," He said bluntly. You reached beside you and pinched his nose before turning to look back at her. "She's pretty."

"She is...I bet she's nice too," You huffed. You looked back at your laptop, clicking out the tab. "Okay, back to work."

"You do know you're not fooling anyone," Souma leaned over to rest his head on your shoulder. "You can be sad, it's only been a month."

"Yes, I know. I am sad but...I have to be strong right?" You sighed. "He's probably really happy. That's what I want for him."

"But not happier than with you, hm?" He pokes.

"What?" You ask, not peeling your eyes from the screen.

"You know, when you were together, you'd say some eternal love bullshit," He mocked. "What happened to he's the one person who makes you have butterflies in your stomach? And if we ever broke up you'd never recover? That kinda shit."

"He was the one who said shit like that first of all. I guess he never meant it. Souma, can we please stop talking about it?" You started to type out your report. "Yeah, yeah, I'm heartbroken but this project is due tomorrow."

"Okay whatever you say, Ms. Shattered Heart," He lifts up his hands in fake surrender before leaning back into your ear. "Oh, by the way, he's coming into the café." He whispered.

Your eyes widen before shutting them quickly. You take a deep breath, taking the urge to not look at the door. Souma shrugs, wanting to see a bigger reaction before opening his own laptop.

Bokuto leads Konoha, Komi, Akaashi and his girlfriend to the line of the café. "So then, Atsumu ended up- Oh? Y/n!" Bokuto stops his story noticing the back of your head. He steps out of line to tap your shoulder.

"Oh, hi Bo," You turned slowly. "Good to see you...You guys too." You gestured towards the group. Akaashi's previous smile fell once he saw you.

"How are you?" Bo smiled. It took a beat for him to realize how awkward the situation was, making his grin fade.

"Good, good...How are you guys?" You cringed.

"We're...okay," Akaashi said, softly. His eyes took notice of how different you looked. Darker circles under your eyes, your hair messily done compared to your usual do, and just how tired you looked. Almost as if you gave up on taking care of yourself.

"Y/n and I were just leaving-" Souma interrupted. He noticed your hand grip tightly on your chair before speaking up. He closes both your laptops and goes to put them away in his bag. "It was nice seeing you guys, but Y/n and I have some work to do."

You hesitated but nodded along with your coworker as you grabbed your coffee. You gestured to the group once getting out of your seat. The two of you quickly walked out, Souma guiding you to his parked car.

Akaashi's girlfriend excused herself to the restroom, giving him an opportunity. He exits the café, jogging over to you and Souma. "I'm sorry," He pants, stopping a few feet away from you. "Y/n, I'm sorry."

No words left your mouth as you looked up at him. Tears had already fallen from your eyes the second you walked out. Akaashi's chest ached to see you in this state. "Forgive me, I- I'm sorry for hurting you," He begged.

"Take care of her, okay?" You smiled, your heart is torn into pieces once again. "Make her happy."

taglist: @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme @d0llpie @elianetsantana @snowsmuse @joy-laufeyson

[echos-newlegs]

19 with anyone you want*

Let Me Go, Cyare

This one I had to think about since you gave me free range with characters, but I decided on Hardcase. He was mostly voted for last I checked the post where I asked for requests between a few clones I haven't written for yet.

'Francis Forever' by Mitski was playing and got me in the angst mood so.. Sorry in advance, buddies.

Hardcase x Reader: "Where are they? Please, I need to see them! Get out of my way!"

Wordcount: 1.2k

Warning: angst, mention of death, I cried a bit writing this lmao, minor cursing and Canon cursing.

You walked around the shitty apartment. Pacing the floors as you waited for any sort of message or knock from Hardcase to let you know that he was home, or that he would be a day or so later. He was scatterbrained, sure, but he was always so good at letting you know and not keeping you worried. 

You ran a hand through your hair, eyes falling back to the clock. Another hour had passed. It had been four hours. No response to your worried ‘is everything alright,’ ‘Hardcase?’ ‘Where are you?’ Messages. That was it, maybe you should go for a walk? Think it off? You couldn’t just lay down and sleep. Not with the thought that lingered in the back of your mind. That ‘oh, you’re dating a soldier! He could be lying on the ground. Cold and defenseless as his life slowly leaves his full of life eyes.’

The thought made you clench your jaw as you reached for your jacket. Shrugging it over your shoulders as you reached to wipe a tear that rolled down your cheek. You needed a drink, that’s what you needed.

You moved for the door. Jumping when you heard a pounding on it. It had to be him.

“Hardcase?” Your voice was full of hope and fear as the door swished open. Eyes meeting a familiar face, but not his. 

“Fives..” You muttered. Face dropping as the pit in your stomach only sunk deeper. Your throat is running dry as your eyes are coating with a glass. Waiting to shatter and spill down your cheeks. 

“Where is he? What’s going on?” You asked. Impatiently waiting for an answer. Maybe he was pulling some sick prank. That had to be it. 

You chuckled a bit at it. Looking up to the clone in front of you. Peeking behind him, then around him outside the door. Searching for the wild man you grew to love. “This is a joke, right?” You questioned. Voice wavering. Not even giving him a chance to speak. “He thought this would be fun-funny?” Your voice cracked at the frown on his face. He always smiled, what was going on?

“Hey, why don’t you come with me?” 

You were shaking now. “Is he okay?” You mouthed. The glass in your eyes shattering. You couldn’t do this any longer. 

“Let’s go for a walk, okay, General?” 

General, but you were a civilian, were you not? Nothing more. You've never wanted to be anything more. A simple life. That's all you've ever wanted.

“Goddammit, Fives! Answer me, is he okay?” You shouted, the wave of emotions washing over you. Watching as the man backed up at your small outburst.

“I’m sorry,” You let out, shakily. Closing your eyes as you stood there. “I haven’t.. I mean,, he normally tells me when you’re all back. Is he..?”  your eyes searched his. Mind thinking of the worse.

“No, no, he’s alive, but.. He’s in a pretty bad state.” 

You let out a shaky sigh of relief. 

“How bad? Is he awake?” You asked, and he shook his head. Looking back down.

“Thought if you went and saw him, he’d wake up.. I can’t lose him either.” 

Those words made your eyes water again. Reaching out for the other. Pulling him in for a hug. The two of you standing in the hall hugging for what felt like forever.

The world seemed to be frozen in place, but not your mind. What if he didn’t make it? What even happened? What if he did come back, but he wasn’t the same? What if he gets taken back to Kamino and.. And what then?

“Let’s go see him then.” Was the last thing you said to Fives on your venture back to the Medbay.

Kix was rushing around from bed to bed when you saw them all. Your stomach is flipping, and not the ‘butterfly in your stomach.’ Sort of way. Not like when you saw his eyes light up because you agreed to go on that first stupid date. Where the two of you nearly died because Hardcase managed to start your kitchen on fire. Since the two of you didn’t have enough credits for something fancy, but really. It was the best date you had ever been on. 

Your eyes watered again as Fives rubbed the small of your back. Waiting patiently for Kix to stop running and have the time to take you to him. 

“Oh—“ Was all he said, and your small smile wavered. ‘Oh—‘ What did that mean? 

“Why did you bring them here?” He nearly snapped, and Fives shrugged. “I thought it might help him?” Kix groaned at his brothers words. Lolling his head back just the slightest to express his annoyance. 

“They cannot see him like this.”  his voice was sour.

They were talking like you weren’t standing right there. Inches away from their conversations. Able to overhear them even if they were whispering, and they weren’t. 

“Why not?” You asked, brow furrowing with a glimpse of sadness. “Does he not want to see me?” 

They both froze, and Kix shook his head, 'no,’ after a while. “That’s not what I—“ “Then you cannot choose what I can and cannot handle, Kix.” Kix shook his head again. Approaching you with his hands in front of you. As if to push you back. You weren’t about to budge, though. 

“Where are they!” You all heard a shout. Looking back to see a few med droids struggling in the corner. Curtains peaking open enough to see someone scurrying around in a panic. “Please! I need to see them!” His voice was shrill. Hoarse and scratchy. It sounded as if it were painful for him to even talk without screaming. 

“Hardcase..” You murmured.

Before Kix could even process what was going on you were running past him. Shoving him to the side as you rushed back to where all the commotion was. 

“Get off me for Kriff sake!” He shouted again. It had to be him! Sure he and his brothers had the same voice, but you knew his. The uniqueness to it.

“Hardcase!” You shouted with hope in your voice. Pulling the curtain back. Your heart was pounding. Chest aching as you hoped to see him. 

But instead it was someone else. Someone entirely different, but yet not. It wasn’t because it was a clone of him, no. It was him. Just.. He wasn’t there. He was bloodied, and his eyes were dull. Lifeless. His smile was gone. Left without a trace as he stared into your eyes with his own once bright, gleaming eyes. 

“Stop it..” You murmured as you backed up from the curtains. Room growing dark as your breathing picked up. “I died, Cyare, and you know it. Let me go, please, it hurts, I can’t stay any longer.” His voice echoed through your ears. His body seemed to be burning as he fought back his screams. Your eyes closing shut as tightly as you could. The way your head pounded made you want to scream. You felt paralyzed as you stood there in place. “But I can’t!” You shouted without even realizing it.” “Wake up, please.” 

Your eyes shot open. Just this time you were lying on the ground. Staring up at the ceiling. Panting heavily. 

“General! Are you alright!” The 501st was surrounding you. Your eyes darting around, but you were still unable to move your arms. 

“Do you know where you are?” Tup asked, and you shook your head. Tears falling down your cheeks. “I’m too late, aren’t I?” 

They all shared a glance. Eyebrows furrowed. “Too late for what, sir?” 

“They already left.. He won’t make it out.. Only Fives and Jesse will.” 

“Sir, you’re scaring us. What are you talking about?” Dogma asked. Kneeled beside you. Watching as your eyes stared up towards the ceiling. 

“I had a vision.. Hardcase..” You bit back a whimper as you swallowed back the lump in your throat. “He’s gone.” someone finished.

Your eyes caught movement. Watching two clones walk in through the door. Buckets under their arms. Fives staring over to you. Meeting your eyes. "And he did it for you, for us all."

[cherrycheolliesc]

read below 👇

1.2k wc

“So you got the keys from him?” you ask as you sit in the passenger seat of Soonyoung’s car. “Yea. It was actually way easier than I thought it would be. I think he’s a fan.” he replies with a chuckle. He turns on some music and the two of you drive to the studio in a comfortable silence. After what seems like a long time, you see a cute brown haired boy standing at the entrance.

“Oh my god! Y/n! I’m Lee Chan. I’m a huge fan of you and the rest of JC. This is so crazy. Can I please hug you?” he says and you open your arms for him to run into. He hugs you comfortably, like you guys have been friends for years, “Turns out he’s just my fan, Soonie. I can’t believe Cheol didn’t let me meet you sooner”

“He doesn’t really trust a certain someone.” Chan says as you guys walk into the studio. He turns and gives Soonyoung the keys, “Just lock up before you guys leave. Not that anyone would really break into a dance studio, but just to be safe”

“I thought WE were gonna break into this studio at midnight, Soon?” you turn to the guy standing beside you, already starting to stretch. “Eh, it’s 10, so close enough. Also, Seoyeon convinced me to stop breaking into places” You feel a pang of jealousy when he mentions her name yet you don’t really know why. They were really close at the photoshoot, maybe they were together. You know you shouldn’t feel upset, but part of you can’t help yourself. “Earth to Y/n. What are you thinking about?”

“Oh nothing. Where’s Chan?” you ask looking for the smaller boy. “He left like just now. You were really spacing out, weren’t you. I wonder what’s going through that pretty little head of yours” he says with a small smirk and ruffles your hair a bit. You can’t help but look at his slightly toned arms. When did he get so in shape, you wonder. Realizing you’ve been staring for longer than you should be, you change the topic, “Are we dancing or not, Soonie?”

“Well first stretch. I know you don’t workout and this routine will definitely kill your body” “Why are you making me do a hard routine then, you know I can’t dance” “Because I like seeing you suffer.” You start doing some stretches, but clearly not good enough as Soonyoung comes up to you, “Jeez, come here. Let me help you. Open your legs, then put your right leg in” he says while walking behind you. He softly bends you forward and thoughts you shouldn’t be having about your best friend start to flood your mind. You quickly get up and say, “I think that’s enough stretching. Can we just learn the routine now?”

“Okay okay, but don’t complain to me when your body is aching in the morning.” he says with a wink and walks off somewhere. You know he’s just playing with you, but you can’t help but feel a bit flustered. You turn and start to set up the camera. He comes back with some water, “Are you gonna do the intro or should I?”

“We should both do it. This is our first video together in how long. They’ll love it if we do it together.” you say as you get into a spot where the camera can see the both of you. You clap your hands to start the intro but the two of you fail miserably a bunch of times. “Okay, Y/n you need to stop laughing. We’ve been trying to do this for the past 13 minutes.” “You act like you aren’t dying either. I’m trying to stay serious but you’re making it way too hard. Alright on three. One, two, three”

“Hey there, guys. It’s Leader Line’s Hoshi and Y/n and we’re here today to dance.” You guys finally say in unison. Soonyoung takes the lead as he begins to say, “As you all know, Y/n is probably one of the worst dancers in the world so I’m gonna teach her one of the hardest choreo’s I know” “He’s back for five days and the first thing he wants to do is torture me can you believe it”

“Anyways, we’re gonna be dancing to Just by Bumzu” he turns to you and turns on his phone to show you a video. As he starts it you see a familiar boy pop up on the screen, “Oh shit is that Chan. Wow. He’s really good, but how the hell do you expect me to do what he just did? also why is the song so..?” “So what, Y/n?” “Nothing. Nevermind. But also you better have like an easier version of that” “I do.” he says before turning to the camera, “Before we start, check out our friend’s, Chan, youtube channel. It’s called Dino’s Danceology and he’s really incredible. Now onto the dancing. I changed a bit of it so it’s easier for you and better for two partners”

You guys dance for a while to learn it all. After around 30 minutes you beg for a break and walk over to the camera to turn it off for a while. “Soonie, can’t you see I’m dying. Give me like 10 minutes then we can start again.” you say as you collapse on the floor. He gets a drink of water, takes off his shirt, and lays down beside you. You try not to look over at him, knowing you’ll have even worse thoughts about him then the ones you’re already having. As you’re gonna say something, he opens his mouth, “How about we leave the camera off for a while and just finish learning the dance. We can turn it back on once we finish the routine. Now get up, we’re almost done”

“Why is the dance so like...sexy? Isn’t that kinda weird? Also Chan’s version wasn’t really like this” you say trying to get a reason as to why he chose this song. “Because it has to be a routine for two people. And sexy gets content you know,”

You guys get back into the dance, but not after long, you’re already stumbling on your feet again. Soonyoung grabs your waist to steady you and your back presses up against his bare chest. Your faces are only centimeters apart and it is taking all of you not to lean in at the moment. But before either of you can do anything, he says, “Okay, I think you got it. It’s really late so let’s do this routine then go home”

You turn the camera back on and the two of you start the dance. The both of you finish perfectly in one go, so you run to grab the camera without having an outro. You grab your things and try to quickly leave, but Soonyoung stops you before you can walk out, “Where are you going? I drove us here”

“I can walk home, my place isn’t too far. Also I have to grab dinner for the group anyways, I doubt they’ve eaten yet. I can edit everything then send it over to you to make sure everything is good, yea?” “Um, sure. Have a good night I guess” “Goodnight, Soonyoung”

Let Me Hear You Say

part 10: We Dance!!! (10/??)

previous / masterlist / next

summary: after not seeing each other for years, Yn is ecstatic when she finds out all of her friends will finally be in the same place at one time. but unfortunately an unwanted dream turns a 12 year friendship into hateful relationship between yn and soonyoung.

pairing: reader x soonyoung.

genre: angst, comedy, youtube au, sm au. friends to enemies to lovers.

just message me or dm me if you wanted to be added to a tag list.

tag list: @agustmonoworld @multinines--xx @noniesgirl @svtslvt @strykiss @fluffyhyeju @happyvitamin @kidultt @itsdnguyenxoxo @monstathedisco @mimaisiomai @sunshineshouchan @manamiyx @sensorivm @hoerangdan @maru40mercury @linhyyboo12

a/n - sorry this written part is so long, i didn’t even realize it was that long until i checked the word count.

[blossom-hwa]

A Song Written Easily - Eric

Uh so here’s the midnight impulse drabble that made Eric wreck my bias list?? When I woke up I actually thought this was a fever dream until I opened my notes hh anyway, this is set in the same universe as Bloom, Bloom, Pow!, but the events of bbp are still a couple years into the future :)

In other news, happy birthday to Eric, the best puppy boy in the world whom I love with my whole heart <3 I have a chem final sigh but I hope everyone else is having a lovely day, including the birthday boy! 

I highly recommend listening to the song that inspired this all while reading! Oneus’s “A Song Written Easily” is so beautiful :)

Pairing: Eric x gender neutral!reader

Genre: slight angst

Triggers: none

Word Count: 1.2k

Words flow so easily when Eric thinks of you.

TBZ Masterlist | Interwoven

With all the times Eric's fallen in love, he'd think that breaking up would be a bit easier by now. Truthfully, sometimes, it is, when there have only been two or three dates before deciding things won’t work out, when the feelings only run shallow.

But the months he spent with you, smiling with locked fingers, laughing between kisses… they were something lovely. Something deeper. Something so much more.

Which is why, Eric supposes, it hurts so much now that you've gone.

The memory of your tears is still fresh in his mind as he walks the silent trail in the park, a worn notebook and pen clutched in his hand. The sobs you tried to hide play in his ears over and over again, the sobs that choked your throat as you explained that your feelings were gone, that you just didn't feel the same way for Eric that you had once felt so deeply before. That you didn't want to let go and hurt him like this, that you wanted to keep loving him the way you had for so many months, but that you couldn't. You just couldn't.

And try as he might, he can’t forget the tears that streamed down his face at your confession, the way he clutched your hands between his and asked if there was anything he could do, anything he could say, anything he could change to make you love him just once more. He can’t erase the memory of your lovely eyes squeezed shut as you shook your head, whispering no, there’s nothing, I’m sorry. Eric, I’m so sorry.

He can't smile, even as he sits down in the clearing he found when he was young, the clearing he always comes to when his heart feels heavy. Lips pressed into a thin line, he opens the notebook to the next blank page. He never thought he’d have to write a letter to you, but, well. The future is rarely what Eric actually imagines it to be.

Dear Y/N...

Reflections race through his mind as he writes of lovely memories, good and bad, letting the words flow across the paper. The pen fills one page, then two, then three, consolidating six months of sunlit smiles and moonlit arguments and starlit laughs into words of smooth, black ink. He writes of six months of sweet dreams, of lessons learned, of reasons he loved.

And reasons he still loves.

The sun has risen by the time he's ready to close this letter, this letter that will never be sent, this letter that will stay in this notebook forever with the remains of every other love, requited or not, that he has experienced during his short time on earth. By contrast with those other remnants, though, yours is much longer, almost five times the length of the next longest letter he remembers writing.

Isn't that the beauty of it, though? a voice, unbidden, speaks in his mind. Isn't there a beauty in how deeply you loved in so short a time, a beauty in the joy you brought to his life, even if it ended in heartbreak?

Because you weren't a bad person, Eric thinks. Far from it, really. Feelings can fade, he knows, and he can't blame you for it. It just means that as much as he thought you were perfect for him, ultimately, he wasn't perfect for you.

So maybe you weren't perfect for him, either.

Eric taps his pen against the notebook, eyes blankly gazing ahead as he ponders these thoughts. How best can he close this letter? he wonders. How best can he finish off this recollection of a love deeper than any he's ever experienced, a love that still hurts, even though you tried to heal it as best you could before you left?

You loved him, he knows. He knows this as surely as he knows he loved – still loves – you. And there was beauty in that, in the genuine care you held for him, a care that you still hold. Just not in the same way.

So what does he feel for you? Eric tries to think, pen still tapping against the pages. There's love, of course, but what are the emotions entangled in this love? What are the feelings meshed together that make the adoration he holds for you so different, so unique?

His pen stops in mid-air.

Gratitude.

He feels thankful for you, thankful for the love you gave him, thankful for the memories you made with him. He feels thankful for every time you kissed him, every time you interlaced your fingers with his, every time you laughed and pressed your lips to his cheek and murmured a soft "I love you."

The length of this relationship hurt him, Eric knows. You loved each other for a beautiful six months – well, maybe somewhat less in your case – and it's the fact that you loved each other for so much longer than any other relationship he’s had that makes the pain so intense. But, well, if these feelings lasted a bit longer, if your kisses were a little sweeter, if you loved each other a little deeper, doesn't that just mean this love is something to be cherished even more? That even though it breaks his heart to let you go, he should keep these memories forever?

Eric's lips begin to curl slightly – not quite into a smile, not just yet, but something close – with nostalgia, not the sad sort but the wistful sort, longing for something between a future that will never happen and the sweetness of the past. He doesn't need to think as his pen sweeps across the bottom of the last page, awkward handwriting tracing the letters of five last words.

He reads them once, reads them twice, lips moving silently over and over as the words burn into his mind, stamping themselves on every image of you that remains, the bad, the good, the chaotic, the peaceful, the messy, the lovely. Five words, five simple words, five words that his heart aches to say, even if it can't say them directly to you.

Thank you for the memories.

Surrounded by greenery dotted with tiny flowers, Eric looks up at a clear blue sky. The air is fresh, the breeze cool, the sun warm. It's the type of day where he’d tell a dumb joke to make you smile and then your laughs would intermingle in the air as he twirled you around on the grass.

It hurts a little, still, but the five words written on the page in his hand have soothed the pain, infused smooth black ink with the heartache that's plagued him since you left. His eyes don’t dim this time at the memory of your laughter. Tears don't fall at the recollection of your love.

For the first time since you left, Eric gazes up at a blue sky with a heart free of pain.

He smiles.

[iwaisa]

► now playing...

- genre. fluff

- pairing. nishinoya x gender neutral reader

- warnings. none :)

- word count. 1.2k+

- a/n. happy birthday nishinoya ! this one was honestly kind of rushed + it’s also my first time writing for nishinoya lol. i hope to get better and more comfortable writing for him

(this one’s for the nishinoya simp @xmalereaderfics​ )

upon entering your first class of the new school year you came to one simple conclusion; your classmate, yuu nishinoya, was loud. and not in an obnoxious way as other people may think. in a way that you found endearing. usually, anyone else’s reaction to his sudden outbursts of excitement would be to shush or scold him. you, however, encouraged him. 

your classmates liked to call you two the jokers of class 2-3, or the inseparable pair. the two of you always joked around no matter the situation. 

in class, both of you would be scolded countless times for simple things such as laughing. your teacher’s decision to put you both on cleaning duty after school was a horrible idea, leaving the two of you cracking jokes back and forth instead of actually cleaning. 

however, after months of being known as the comedic pair, you began to notice a change in nishinoya’s behaviour. he never ran up to you when you entered the classroom anymore, and he always seemed to be in a hurry to rush off whenever you approached him. if you were being honest, this left you dumbfounded and kind of hurt. 

“nishinoya, what’s going on with you today?” daichi’s voice echoed throughout the gym. “nothing, captain!” nishinoya didn’t take his eyes off the ball as his senior voiced his concerns. he, however, was not focused. he’s been missing dig after dig and receive after receive all because of one person in particular. you. 

nishinoya has been torturing himself for the past four months for catching feelings for his best friend. why? because he believes he has no chance. nishinoya believes that the only connection between you two is strictly friends and is and never will be anything more. it’s only a matter of time before he lets it slip and you stop being friends with him.

“still fussing over l/n-san?” tanaka questioned, taking a sip from his water bottle. nishinoya stiffened at the mention of your name, and instantly launched himself into attacking the buzzcut boy. “you can’t just say that so loud, idiot! and why do you think that, huh?” nishinoya and tanaka began bickering back and forth before suga and ennoshita pulled them away. “you know, i’m just trying to encourage you to tell them, right?” nishinoya froze at his question, the gears in his brain turning. “what? you think i’m gonna tell them?” tanaka crosses his arms and nods his head while grinning, “i see how they look at you. they’ve got it good. nice job, man!” nishinoya stayed dumbfounded as he went to high-five tanaka’s outstretched hand. 

nishinoya sighed before groaning, catching the attention of each member of the team. “what’s wrong, nishinoya-senpai?” hinata asked innocently, bounding up to the second-years. “shouyou…you wouldn’t understand,” nishinoya sighed dramatically before shaking his fist. “why do they have to be so amazing! dammit! what am i supposed to do now?”

“why don’t you leave them something? like, leave them snacks or flowers or letters,” yamaguchi counted off using his fingers. nishinoya thought for a moment, his fist tucked under his chin. “i could leave them flowers,” nishinoya nodded. 

“do you even know what their favourite flower is?” tsukishima jested. “of course i do! they told me at the beginning of the year when we walked home together!” nishinoya defended, getting irritated at the blond’s snarky words.

“oi! let’s get back to practice!” daichi interrupted, with everyone taking their previous positions on the court.

the first day you received a flower, you were dumbfounded. you looked around the half empty classroom before looking back down at the flower. there was no note, so how did you know it was yours? you just assumed it was meant for someone else, yet you had no idea what to do with it. 

nishinoya watched with tanaka as you walked up to your friend, handing it to them. nishinoya face palmed, waving a temporary farewell to tanaka before heading in.

the second day, you were just, if not more, dumbfounded than the first day. by now, you had understood that they were clearly meant for you. the tag on the stem with your name written on it only solidified your claim. once again, you looked around, seeing if anyone was looking at you. you turned out to look into the hallway to see tanaka walking past as nishinoya walked in. 

“hey, noya-san!” you greeted, slipping the flower into your shoulderbag, leaving the top sticking out so it wouldn’t wilt. “hey, l/n-san,” nishinoya greeted with an unsure tone. you didn’t think anything of it as you sat down at the sound of the bell.

it’s been exactly two weeks since receiving your first flower, and you felt as though you were getting closer to figuring out who it was. it could have been tachibana-san, who sits diagonally from you, or possibly mai-san, who sits right in front of you. however, you couldn’t help but notice that nishinoya has been acting more distant than ever, and you figured you should get to the bottom of it. 

you studied in your classroom after school as you waited for nishinoya’s volleyball practice to end. as soon as the alarm on your phone went off signaling it was time to find your friend, you packed up your stuff and hurriedly left the classroom. 

you headed towards the front of the school to change your shoes, only to turn the corner to see nishinoya stuffing a small bunch of flowers - the same one you found in your bag earlier today - into your shoe locker. 

“noya-san?” your voice elicited a yelp from your friend, who was now frozen in place, clutching the bunch of flowers. “l-l/n-san…” he began, his voice cracking. there was a moment void of noise before you spoke, “you’re the one who’s been leaving those flowers?” he dropped his hand, and redirected his gaze to stare straight down at his shoes. you watched him nod slowly, his knuckles turning white from how tight his grip was on the stems. 

you walked towards him and placed a hand on his shoulder, leaning down to look into his eyes. “thank you,” you spoke quietly. nishinoya’s eyes darted between both of yours, his face growing red in colour from the close proximity. “but…?” he asked. “hm? oh, there’s no but! just...thank you. i was kinda hoping it would be you,” you admitted shyly. his head snapped up, his mouth hanging open. 

you gave him a soft smile before he snapped his head to look at the flowers in his hand. “here,” he held the flowers out to you. “i like you, l/n-san. and i really hope this doesn’t change the comedy shtick we have going on.” you shook your head, chuckling softly. “of course it won’t. i’ve missed that by the way,” you said, your fingers brushing against his as you accepted the flowers. “i know, i’m sorry. i had no idea how to tell you.” 

you smiled before leaning in to kiss his cheek, your lips lingering on his skin for a few seconds. pulling back, you took note of how his face was burning up and how his jaw was nearly on the floor. you giggled as he shook his head quickly to snap himself out of his surprise. he playfully nudged your shoulder before leaning down to lace your fingers with his. “can i walk you home, f/n?” you felt a blush creep onto your face at the way he said your given name. “of course, yuu.”

[bitchin-beskar]

Folklore

Rating: M (mentions of drug use)

Word Count: 1.2k

A/N: T Swift’s newest album, Folklore, dropped roughly five hours ago, and in that time, I decided to write a Frankie x Reader series based off of each of the songs from her album. I have always been such a huuuuge fan of Taylor Swift, and I’m ngl, listening to her album brought back ALL KINDS of feels, so... yeah. Enjoy!

Tags: @mxndoscyarika, @theocatkov, @perropascal

Let me know if you want to be tagged in future chapters!

the 1

You’d gotten the invitation in the mail this past Sunday.

You’d been flipping through the various ads and junk mail when the creamy white envelope caught your eye. You didn’t usually receive mail, so you were intrigued, to say the least. Setting the rest of your mail down on the marble countertop, you sit on one of the bar stools, turning the letter over in your hands. 

Your name and address is handwritten on the front, and for a moment you’re thrown. It’s this sense of déjà vu, like a dream that you can’t quite remember. You run your fingers absentmindedly over the grooves of your name, as though the envelope can show you what you’re missing. 

There’s a return address in the corner, but no name. You flip the envelope over, breaking the seal with your finger. You pull out the thick cardstock, and when you read what’s written, you nearly drop the paper in shock.

Francisco Morales and Lori-Anne Jensen invite you to join them in celebrating their marriage on the 10th of May at 4:00 pm. Please RSVP by April 15th

You stare at the words, waiting, as though they might change before your eyes. But the longer you stare at them, the more they cement themselves in your brain. Francisco Morales and Lori-Anne Jensen. Soon to be Francisco and Lori-Anne Morales. You’re startled when droplets of water hit the paper, marring the beautiful stationery. 

Shakily, you brush your fingers against your cheek, surprised to realize that you’re crying. You try to wipe away the tears, but you quickly realize it’s futile. The tears are coming too fast for you to stop them, so you quit trying. As you sit there, your mind flashes to the last time you’d seen Francisco. 

***

“I can’t do this, Frankie.” 

Your boyfriend of five years looked up at you in shock, the pupils of his eyes dilated, and his hands shaking. He tries to stand, but groans, grabbing at his stomach as he collapses back onto the couch. 

You’ve got tears in your eyes, but your resolve is strong. “I can’t watch you tear yourself apart. I–I can’t stand here and watch as you throw your whole life away!” Frankie tries to object, but your lip is quivering, and you have to get the words out before you break down completely. 

“I’m sorry, Francisco, but I just can’t do this! I can’t–I can’t stand here and watch as the man I love disappears before my eyes! You refuse to get help, you refuse to even believe this is a problem, but it is!” You’re shouting now, trying to get him to understand. “God, how many times have I come home to find you high off your ass? How many times, Francisco?” 

He doesn’t answer, just stares up at you from his pitiful position on the couch. From the glazed look in his eyes, you’re not even sure he knows what you’re saying, or if he’ll remember when he comes down. 

“I’m done, Frankie. I–I, I just can’t anymore, okay? I can’t do this.”

You turn to leave, but you’re stopped by a hand on your shoulder. Frankie spins you around, holding you desperately. “Wait, baby, I–I’m sorry, I–” You cover his mouth with your hand, your vision blurry from your tears.

“You’ve said you’re sorry so many times, Frankie,” your voice breaks. “And we always end up back here. Why should now be any different?” 

He mumbles something underneath your palm, and you move your hand. “What was that?”

“I–I, I thought you loved me,” he whispers, and your heart breaks all over again. 

“I do, Francisco,” you say, your voice catching in your throat. You grasp the back of his neck and pull his lips to yours, hard. The two of you collide in a mess of lips and teeth and tongue. This kiss is desperate, frantic, as you try to convey everything you’re feeling into this one kiss. Your sorrow, your love, your hope and heartbreak, everything. Your cheeks are wet from your tears, and you think maybe some of Frankie’s too. You pull back, pressing one, two, three, hard but fleeting kisses against his lips. “I love you so much. But I can’t stay.”

***

You cover your mouth as a sob escapes your lips. You’d done such a good job of getting over him, or so you’d thought. You’d moved states, packing up everything in your life, except for him, and you’d just left. Your friends knew better than to mention him, and it had worked. You’d nearly forgotten about him.

At least, you’d thought so. But now, with this invitation in your hand, and tears in your eyes, you knew you hadn’t forgotten a thing. You should have known that his memory wouldn’t stop haunting you.

You thought you’d seen him at the bus stop the other day, and you’d almost called out his name before you realized it wasn’t him. You’d berated yourself the entire way to work, convincing yourself that he wasn’t in your life anymore. He wasn’t yours.

This invitation was just another reminder. He belonged to this… Lori-Anne, now. She was the one he came home to, the one he cooked dinner with, the one he kissed at night. Before you could stop yourself, you began to wonder how he met her. Lori-Anne Jensen wasn’t a name you recognized from high school, so that was out. You didn’t remember the name from college, either. Maybe he met her at a bar? Or out camping? Or on the internet, even? 

You shook your head. It wasn’t any of your business. You looked at the invitation for a long while. You could go, you supposed. See him one last time. He’d tried to talk to you, since that fateful night, but you’d never answered. After the first few months, he stopped trying. You’d heard from a friend of a friend that he’d gotten into rehab, but that it hadn’t lasted. It had nearly killed you, but you’d stood by what you’d said. You couldn’t watch him throw his life away. 

This Lori-Anne must be stronger than you were, to stand by him while he dealt with his problem. Or maybe he’d finally stopped. Maybe she’d been the thing he needed to get clean. You were happy for him. For them. You had to be. 

You hear the garage door open, and you quickly wipe your tears. You check your face in the reflection of the window, ensuring that there is no trace of your breakdown left. As the door opens, and footsteps enter the house, you drop the fancy invitation and the creamy envelope with the handwritten address–handwritten by Frankie, your traitorous mind whispers–in the recycling bin. 

“Honey, are you home?”

Looking down at the large sparkling engagement ring on your finger, you sniffle one last time before plastering a smile on your face. 

“I’m in the kitchen, babe!”

***

“I, I, I persist and resist the temptation to ask you

If one thing had been different

Would everything be different today?”

[seoulnotes]

47. “Did you get my letter?” — kth

Full masterpost here

⇢ Pairing ; Kim Taehyung, reader (y/n)

⇢ Genre ; angst, wartime au (kinda? after war?), imagine it being like 1940s/1950s, y/n and taehyung can’t be together

⇢ Words ; ~1.2k (idk how this got so long)

He should have been arriving home today. Taehyung should be returning home from the war today.

A week prior, the end of the war was announced and the soldiers were supposed to be coming home after five years.

You should have been thinking of your own husband coming home and yet, your only concern was Taehyung returning to your hometown.

While you waited on the train platform for your husband, your heart was silently praying one of the men to step from the train was Kim Taehyung.

“My love,” a voice called you from your thoughts and your vision was drawn from the men exiting the train to your husband.

Your thoughts of Taehyung fizzled away at the sight of the man before you and you ran forward to his arms which immediately wrapped around you to pull you into a tight hug.

“I missed you,” you whispered, heart content to see your husband who had been gone for five years. “And I made your favorite for lunch.”

He pulled away, a smile on his lips as he leaned to give you a kiss. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” a smile curving on your lips.

You didn’t know what to expect when you had arrived home. A celebration for him to come home? Was he tired and just wanted to rest?

It turned out he didn’t want to do much except take a nap in bed after lunch.

So as he slept the day away, you busied yourself with anything including cleaning your house which might very well be clean already.

Then when boredom hit, your thoughts wandered back to the letter sitting in your vanity. It was the one thing you wanted to keep off your mind since your husband was back home.

Quietly, you opened the drawer and pulled out the letter which you might have read a million times.

Addressed to you, signed from Officer Kim Taehyung from the 2nd Battalion.

y/n,

If I am writing you this letter, I might very well be lying on my deathbed. I refuse to die without telling you how much I love you.

This might very well be the last time I will be able to call you, my love. After today, you will be married to another man.

You will have been married since and you could very well throw away this letter having read it and I would still be content that you’ve received my words.

I love you and I always will. When I first saw you, I would have made you my wife. Amongst all the flowers in the garden, as beautiful as they might have been in spring bloom, you were most beautiful.

They were dull in comparison to you.

When I first spoke to you, I love every word that came from you. They sounded like a ballad to me.

I could continue to ramble at every single detail, but you might get bored, knowing you, and how much you dislike reading.

I’m glad you stopped fighting your parents on your impending marriage. I’m glad you married someone who will be able to make you happy.

I want to apologize for not being the man who met you at the end of the aisle, but I couldn’t make you apart of my life. I can’t give you the life you deserve the most and I won’t be able to forgive myself for that.

If we have been born with different lives or in a different lifetime, perhaps I could have been able to get down on one knee and ask for your hand.

I would have done it without a second thought.

Taehyung

You could still check to see if he had come back right? As a friend?

You turned to meet your husband who was still dozing away and with the letter in your hand, you found yourself on the other side of town where houses were smaller and there were no extravagant front porches and lawns.

You rang the doorbell.

There was no answer for a minute and in that minute, you were beginning to turn around. Maybe this was a bad idea.

“y/n?” His mother called out. “Are you here to see Taehyung?”

“Is… Is he back yet?” You danced on the balls of your feet, hoping the this was not really his final letter.

“Yes, I could get him if you want…?” Her voice trailed off in the end, confusion written on her face. “Do you want to come in?” She opened the screen door slightly to invite you in.

You still danced on the balls of your feet, hands clutching the piece of paper, as she disappeared up the stairs.

When you heard footsteps next, it was a pair as his mother walked before him down the stairs.

“y/n?” His brows furrowed in confusion.

His once longer brown hair was cut short from the war. Yet, his face still had the boyish charm you loved many years ago.

“Hi,” your tone timid. It had been years since you last spoke to him.

A small smile took hold of his lips. It had been years since you last saw that smile.

“Can we talk somewhere?” You knew it was strange that you had shown up at his house and even more strange you wanted to talk to him so suddenly.

His confusion dissipated after a moment and you two were sitting across from each other at a secluded diner after driving nearly an hour away from town.

Being seen was not something to risk.

“Did you get my letter?” Embarrassment on his face as he asked. “Is that what you were holding?”

He shouldn’t have sent that letter, but he thought he was lying on his deathbed and he didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye to you and apologizing for his biggest mistake.

But he had survived and now he had to handle the aftermath of that.

“Yeah,” you drew out, placing the letter on the table.

“I-,” he paused. “I didn’t know that I was going to survive. I thought I could just send a final letter,” he admitted with an awkward smile.

“I know.” Taehyung was the one who begged you to accept the engagement your parents had set up for you. When the begging didn’t work, he slowly distanced himself until the engagement was something you wanted, until you didn’t love him enough anymore.

Until you stopped wanting to marry him.

He wouldn’t have sent the letter if he knew he was going to live to face the aftermath of you reading it.

“It doesn’t really mean anything,” he added, although the glint of despair in his eyes was enough to give him away.

He was ready to have his heart handed back once again. He wanted you to do that because he couldn’t just allow himself to just walk back into your life again. He couldn’t bring about the mess of a life you almost had by being with him.

Yet, you weren’t sure what your next step would be and the uncertainty scared you the most.

Hearing him, seeing his smile once again only reminded you of what could have been. If you had been born with different lives or born at a different time, a different lifetime, perhaps then you could have been with Taehyung.

a/n

i literally had to squeeze this outta my brain cause i got scared i couldn’t write at all for the past few days. i’m sorry if this sucks and lowkey not really edited 😓 this might very well flop lol

-Selene

[kyoujurous-eyebrows]

ohh i loved that rengoku comfort request (///) can i request a similar one with uzui and a demon slayer s/o? thanks 💙

So sorry this took so long anon DX I hope you enjoy it! Really enjoyed writing this especially after the day that I had haha

Sorry if there’s any mistakes or it seems rushed, I had written it all and then accidentally deleted it so I was very frustrated

(Also yes, I realise bathing in Japan doesn’t work like this, I remembered that after I had finished writing it and was not going to go back and change it)

Uzui Comforting You After A Rough Day

Fluff, Comfort

Words: 1.2k

At the end of the day, there was nothing more you could have done. Your brain realises this, but your heart does not, and the deep aching feeling refuses to go away. It had rained during the walk back, you had slipped in some mud, and you did not smell nice. You wanted to cry so bad, but you were almost home and then you could collapse and hide yourself under the futon for the rest of the day.

“I’m home…” You solemnly called out. Bare feet padding on the wood made it to your ears and you peeked through your wet hair up at the tall figure.

“Wow, you look like shit. Rough mission I take it?” Your now going on five-month boyfriend spoke up as he watched you take off your shoes and put on some slippers.

“Thanks for noticing. I’m going to go take a bath. I feel disgusting.” You added a bite onto those last words, feeling it physically, emotionally and mentally right now.

“That sounds like a fantastic idea! How about I join you?” Uzui smirked, a knowing glint in his one good eye. You knew this man was the most obnoxious, brash and flirtatious man you had ever met, and you loved him, but you were really not feeling up to dealing with his energy today.

“Thanks for the offer, but I would rather go in alone.” You began dragging your heavy limbs up the stairs after placing your sword on it’s holder near the entryway. Uzui followed close behind, hot on your heels. You could feel the shit-eating grin he was wearing without even needing to turn around. You just wanted to use the bath as an excuse to bawl your eyes out, but now it seemed like not even that was going to be an option.

“Oh~” Uzui purred, “there’s no need to be shy darling, we’ve both seen each other naked plenty of times already.” He laughed as you reached the bathroom door. You didn’t have the patience nor the energy to begin an argument with the flamboyant man, so you opted for saying nothing and just going with the flow. Upon opening the bathroom door you noticed the tub was already full of steaming hot water, a bubble bath being drawn already. You turned around to look at your boyfriend with a questioning gaze, but he just gave you a kiss on the forehead and pushed past you into the bathroom.

“Thought you might have wanted to relax when you got home. Well, was I right?” Uzui winked at you with his one eye, which just made him look like he was blinking, but he was trying. Uzui began undressing quickly, and you became mesmerised by the multitude of scars that covered him; something you never fully got used to seeing. You were mainly focused on the long scar across his left eye, so focused in fact, you hadn’t realised that Uzui was standing right in front of you, buck naked, staring down at you.

“As much as I love you staring at me, especially while i’m naked, I think you should get in the bath love before I start stripping you myself.” He laughed at the panicked expression and reddening of your face as you quickly began to work your clothes off. The wet slop of your ruined uniform filled the chamber, and you now realised how cold you actually were. Half jumping into the tub, the hot water melted through you instantly, and you unconsciously let out a sigh of relief. Large, warm, strong hands wrapped around your midsection and pulled you backward into a warm and broad chest.

“Much better,” Uzui sighed, running his hands up and down your arms to get the remaining blood and dirt off of them. “I was serious about the scrubbing your back offer, you know?” Without waiting for a response, he lightly pushed you forward and began lathering a soft sponge with soap. The cold soap hit your now warm back with a slight shock before you grew used to it. Uzui, being the man that he is, took sneaky opportunities to brush a little too close to your rump, or circle his hands a little too far forward, to which you lazily smacked him in reprimanding.

You let out a hiss as he scrubbed your right shoulder. Quickly washing the soap away revealed some fairly deep scratches. The same scratches you had received from the demon as you jumped in front of a little boy. The same scratches that made you let out a scream of burning pain. The same scratches that made you hesitate as the demon turned on the little girl instead. The same scratches that made the lives of two innocent kids perish-

Fat, hot tears rolled down your face as hiccups and sobs echoed off of the steamy walls. Your body shook with the force of your crying and Uzui was stunned for a moment. You had gone silent after he had cleaned the dry blood off of your wound, and worried that he had hurt you worse, leaned forward to see your face and ask if you were okay. The terrified look that was frozen on your face had him dumbfounded for a moment, and it finally dawned on him why you were being so distant since you had arrived home. He gently pulled you into his chest, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles as his chin rested on your head.

“Hey, love, what happened on the mission? Was it that bad? Is it the wound? Speak to me, you can tell me.”

“I- I couldn’t save them,” you started, “those two kids are dead now because I hesitated! I hesitated because I- I was scared of getting another wound!” Your shouts of pain echoed through the chamber as Uzui pulled you in closer.

“Listen to me darling. You can’t change the past, but you can change the future. You’ve learned now that you can’t hesitate in battle when it comes to saving other’s lives. I don’t blame you at all for what happened though. Everyone is scared of getting hurt at some point, some just have to experience it at a more unfortunate timing. You did what you could, you did your best, and now you can learn from your mistakes and get even better. Don’t beat yourself up too harshly for this, otherwise how will you go out and save others lives?” He paused for a moment, listening as your cries began to taper off slightly.

“If you want to overcome your weakness, I can help train you. I won’t take it easy on you either, and it’ll be up to you in the very end whether you will take that step forward or not. So for now, do what you can, improve yourself, and then show the world that you’ve grown, okay?” Uzui fell silent, and your sobs had turned into sniffles. Your boyfriend had started to wash your hair at some point while he was speaking, and the encouraging words as well as the scrubbing of your scalp helped calm you down enough to begin thinking rationally for the first time that day.

You quickly rinsed out your hair before snuggling back into the love of your life’s chest, wrapping his strong arms around you. He may be brash, flirtatious, incredibly self-centered and kind of an asshole; but he is also sweet and loving, doesn’t beat around the bush, and knows how to treat you right. You had never been so thankful to have him in your life before, and you silently thanked him as you began drifting off in his arms, the warm water of the bath enveloping you both.

[notalwaysthevillian]

After Class

Happy birthday to @teacupfulofstarshine! I hope your day is wonderful and that you know the wife squad loves you :D

Warnings: Kissing, anxiety

Pairings: Romantic analogical, brotherly prinxiety

Word count: 1.2k

See me after class?

The words written in a near chicken scratch at the top of the failed paper had Virgil’s pulse racing. Thankfully Mr. Sanders had handed the papers back just before class ended, so he didn’t have to freak out during the entirety of the forty-minute period.

Just the last five minutes. Five minutes spent tracing his soulmate tattoo and wondering how someone could ever love a mess like him.

When the bell rang, he waited for everyone to leave before making his way over to the metal desk covered in playbills.

Mr. Sanders took one look at Virgil’s face before he was on his feet, arms open wide. Virgil ducked into the warm embrace, unable to stop his body from trembling.

“Shh, it’s alright. I’m sorry, I should’ve asked in a different way.” Mr. Sanders gently rubbed Virgil’s back.

After a moment, Virgil pulled away. “Is this about my grades?”

“I’ve noticed that they’re starting to dip.” Sitting down, Mr. Sanders pulled up Virgil’s grades from the past semester. “You were doing great at the start of the year, but they’ve been slowly declining. Is something going on at home? Are you doing alright?”

Slipping his fingers into his hoodie, Virgil mumbled, “They’re putting me on a new anxiety medication, but they have to wean me off the other one first. And when I look at the amount of work I have to do…”

“You panic.”

Virgil nodded, his eyes glued to the floor.

“Mr. Sanders? You asked for me?”

Logan Barnes stood in the doorway of the classroom.

“Yes! Logan, come in.” Mr. Sanders waved him over. “Do you know Virgil?”

“Yes, I believe we share Chemistry?” Logan asked, his gorgeous blue eyes focused on Virgil through the thin black frames of his glasses.

A blush crept up Virgil’s neck at the phrasing. “Yeah, fifth period with Mr. Foote.”

“I’m glad you already know each other!” Turning, Mr. Sanders looked at Logan. “I was hoping that you could help Virgil out with some studying techniques.”

“I’d be happy to, but why do you need my assistance?” Logan asked, curiosity sparkling in his eyes. “If you’d rather not say, I understand.”

“No, it’s - I - my anxiety…” Tumbled out of Virgil’s mouth, making him cringe. “Sorry. My anxiety has gotten bad again because my doctor is switching my meds.”

“I see.” Virgil could practically see the wheels turning in Logan’s head. “We can meet at my place after school? It would be beneficial for us to leave together from Mr. Foote’s class. Unless there’s a place that’s more comfortable for you?”

“‘s fine.”

The warning bell rang, prompting Mr. Sanders to give them each a hall pass. The two walked out of the room together, missing the tiniest of smiles on their teacher’s face.

As the day went on, Virgil couldn’t seem to keep his thoughts from Logan. He didn’t really know him, but he knew of him. Logan was the smartest in their class, bound to be the valedictorian. He’d run for class president and had lost to a kid who’d made false promises. He worked at the tutoring center. Other than that, Virgil knew nothing about him.

Over the course of the next month, that quickly changed.

Virgil learned that it was hard to get Logan to laugh. But when he did laugh, it was the cutest sound to ever grace the planet.

He learned that Logan was a huge fan of poetry. The two of them bonded over several works by Edgar Allen Poe, particularly the Raven.

He learned that, because of the poetry, Logan was good with beats. Specifically rap. Seeing his brother’s face after the so-called nerd destroyed him in a rap battle had Virgil laughing so hard that his sides hurt.

Virgil learned that he had completely fallen for his new friend.

Which was a problem.

“Virgil.”

“He has a soulmate, Ro! I can’t be in love with him!”

“Virgil.”

“I can’t break the two of them apart, they belong together. That’s why it’s called soulmates.”

“Virgil!”

At his brother’s shout, Virgil finally stopped talking.

“Thank you. Now take a deep breath.” Roman knelt in front of his brother. “Good. Did you ever consider that you are Logan’s soulmate?”

Eyes darting to the floor, Virgil mumbled, “My life has never been that good.”

“V. Just...talk to him. You told me that the two of you can talk about anything.”

The doorbell rang, making Virgil stiffen. Roman peeked through the window, before making some sort of crazed motion that Virgil interpreted as ‘come on!’

Trembling only slightly, Virgil opened the door. Logan stood there, a wide grin on his face.

“Hello, Virgil.”

“Lo, it’s like...ten at night. What are you doing here?”

“I was wondering if you might like to go stargazing with me. We wouldn’t be gone for more than an hour, if that’s what would worry you, and I’m sure I can ease any other worries you might have. And if you don’t want to, that’s perfectly fine as well.” The words spilled out of Logan’s mouth quickly, all running together.

Feeling a blush creep up his neck, Virgil nodded. “Sure, that sounds cool.”

“Great!”

The two of them walked across the street to the park. Logan pulled a blanket out of his bag, smoothing it over the grass. He laid down, allowing Virgil enough room to lay beside him.

“How much do you know about constellations?” Logan asked as soon as they were situated.

“Not a lot.”

He could practically hear the smile in Logan’s voice. “If you look up there, just off of the swingset, that’s my favorite constellation, Cassiopeia. Mostly because it’s such a simple shape and easy to find. Not to mention the story behind it.”

Following Logan’s finger as it drew out the constellation, Virgil’s eyes widened. He sat up straight, practically throwing off his hoodie.

“Virgil?”

“Does it look like this?” He asked, showing Logan his forearm.

A series of dots stood out on Virgil’s arm. Logan froze, staring at the shape.

“Lo?”

“Y-yeah.” Logan said, before rolling up his sleeve. “Does this...is this anything to you?”

Virgil wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or cry. The shape of a stormcloud rested on Logan’s arm. “You like to stargaze, I like to watch the rain.”

“So...that makes you my soulmate.”

“Fuck.”

Logan gave Virgil a confused look.

“Sorry, not...Roman called it like five minutes ago, and now he’s going to give me so much shit for it, and -”

“Can I kiss you?” Logan interrupted, before turning bright red. “You don’t have to say yes.”

After half a second, the two of them moved at the same time, connecting their lips. Virgil’s heart swelled as he pulled back.

“Soulmates doesn’t necessarily mean we need to be together, but...I would enjoy that.” Logan said, the tips of his ears cherry red. “Would you?”

“Yes, Lo.” Virgil giggled, kissing his cheek. “I’ll be your boyfriend.”

[thesparkinthefire]

Nightmares, Fives x Jedi!OC

Word count: about 1.2k

Tigger Warning: Death, grief, Angst, so much Angst towards the end.

A/N, about the story: Lusiy Kambo is my Star Wars OC that I created YEARS ago, when I was watching the clone wars. She is a Jedi, leading a Legion with Fives as her captain. They are also in love. Enjoy this as much as you can because I did absolutely not edit this.

A/N, off topic: I was trying to work through a writers block, because the past three months of being stressed out almost 24/7 did no good to me. So I changed the font to Comic Sans because that is a popular tip and holy shit. The words were FLOWING. 10/10 would recommend. Even though I am slightly hurt now because that was painful to write. It is not edited, so it might also be painful to read.

-------------------------------------------------

“What do we plan on doing after war?”

“Haven't we talked about that already?” Lusiys attention was drawn to the world outside the window. The Jedi was folding clothes, starring at the speeding traffic going on, people of all form and colour hurrying by.

“Let me hear it again. I like you saying it. Makes to more real.” Fives voice was as soft as ever. He was doing probably nothing behind her, because he hated cleaning, hated laundry days. Days off the battle made him nervous when they lasted too long. She had noticed it before – the way he kept checking his holopad for any urgent messages. Not that he didn't enjoy spending time with her in private, finally being the couple they were forbidden to be, but he was a soldier after all. A really good one. He had saved the Legion's ass a few times, including hers (which he, by the way, thought of as the most beautiful ass in the whole galaxy).

Lusiy rolled her eyes at his request – how cheesy – but still followed it. “As soon as the war is won and we are no longer needed, we are gonna be out of here. We will go to a planet where neither the republic, nor the Jedi can find us. Far away from all unfinished tasks and unfulfilled responsibilities and duty. We will get a house in the middle of nowhere, maybe near a lake. No one is gonna bother us except for ourselves. But only sometimes. I don't want to spend the rest of my life arguing with you.” Fives quietly laughed behind her. “We can have a little garden, planting and growing our own vegetables. Maybe even get whatever farm animals they may have on that planet and... Children. You really talked me into having kids. I quiet like the idea of having a little you and a little me running around, messing up the house. Not more than two, tough. I don't think I could handle more.”

If the war was ever over, life would be good for them. Happiness suited Fives. He had been more stressed out in his position as Captain of Luisy's Legion than any human should be in their whole life. When the war was over that was finally gonna change. He would be able to rest. And so would she. If.

“It sounds stupid saying that, right? But I like to imagine it. It keeps me going and gets me through the day. One day we are gonna have what we dream of. Peace. The house by the lake. Kids.” A smile rested on her lips. “One day. We will just have to wait until this war is over.”

“But the war is over now.”

“What are you talking about?” She shook her head, hummed a quiet laughter. “It is far from being over. There are still battles going on in every major system and those we thought, we had saved, keep getting attacked and attacked. We have just been rescheduled to join the battle on-”

“I'm dead,” he said. His voice was like ice. Lusiy stopped in her movement. Instead of continuing to fold whatever clothing was in her hand, she turned to her lover, questions written on her face. “War is over for me.”

“Fives, you are not-”

“Yes, I am.” He pointed at the gun wound suddenly appearing in his chest. His grey shirt started soaking. Bright red blood spread and dripped.

“Oh my-” The fabric escaped her fingers, glided down, while she urged to him. Panic rushed through her veins. “No, no, no. You are gonna be okay.” She pressed her hands to his chest, trying to stop the bleeding. But the blood kept running, pressing her fingers apart no matter how hard she tried to keep them together. “Shit- It's going to be okay, Fives. Stay with me.”

“Why did you let him shoot me?”

“I didn't.”

Memories rushed back into her mind. Fives had been out of his mind that night. He was ranting, exasperated, vexed. She had tried to comfort him – with her words and her embrace, but something about him had been off. She almost didn't recognize him if it wasn't for the tattoo he wore on his forehead. He had promised her, that he would come back to her. He just needed to explain what had happened to Tup to Skywalker and Rex and then he would come back to the Legion, lead by her. He would come back to her. Force knows how the guards, commanded by Fox, knew where they would meet. Lusiy had tried her best to keep them back but they had been too many and she couldn't use her lightsaber, risking to seriously harm them. Maker, she wished she had.

“Yes, you did.”

The whole universe had seemed to stop when she heard the shot. Busy Coruscant suddenly had gone quiet as if someone had pressed a button to mute it. Lusiy had heard from some of her Jedi friends, that they could sense through the force when something horrible had happened. Lusiy never did. And she hadn't realized what a gift that had been until that moment, when cold, bare fear washed over her mind and soul. She knew something had happened. Something horrible. Something, that seized her heart in a brute gib.

“No, I didn't.”

“Damn it, Lusiy!” He pushed her away. The Jedi stumbled a few steps back before catching herself on the bed. “You let him kill me! Why did you let him do that? Was I that unimportant to you? Did I ever mean anything to you?”

“Everything.” Her voice was shaking. Her hands were too. Blood dried on them while her eyes started to water. “Had I know he was gonna shoot you, I would have never let him pass. I tried my best to hold all of them back but-”

“You best obviously wasn't good enough!” His voice was filled with rage. “Look at this, it's not even pulsing any more.” His shirt was almost completely soaked, but the wound was no longer bleeding. ”That's because my heart has stopped. You killed me, Lusiy.”

“No, I didn't,” she whispered. The guilt that had been forgotten for the past minutes came running over her like the biggest wave on Kamino. She was shaking, trying to hold back the sob that wanted to break free from her chest.

“Then he will.” Lusiy turned around. There standing was Fox. He was holding his Blaster up, this time aiming higher than for Fives' heart.”

“No- Stop that! Don't shoot Fox, do you hear me!?” She tried to reach him – with the force as well as physically. But she was too late. Again. One shot echoed in the room and-

Air. Breath.

Her heart was hammering. Breathes were short, abrupt, trying to work over the sobs that were violently shaking her body. It had only been a dream. There was no blood on her hands, just hot tears dripping down from her face. It was okay. It's- It's not okay. Nothing was okay. Fives was- he was gone. He would never wake up next to her again. Never pull her in, during an unwatched moment. Never kiss her. Never love her. He wasn't there any more. Disappeared. Never to been seen again.

[lililiyababe]

phantom pains || l.ch

→ pairing: lee chan x reader

→ genre: halloween-themed fluff!

→ warnings: suspense; cursing

→ word count: 1.2k

→ a/n: written for day 1 of caratober! sorry it sucks i was kinda rly rushing lol

prompt: trauma

“Lee Chan, I swear, if you get me killed, I’m coming back to haunt your ass.”

“Is that a promise?”

Chan couldn’t help but laugh, an absurd bark of a noise, as he swung himself around the trunk of crooked oak tree. He cringed slightly, shaking his head at the stupid noise while swiveling around your figure. You sat on one of the large, protruding roots with your hood pulled up over your head to protect yourself from the chilling air. Chan bit his lip and glanced over at you, frowning at the grave look on your face. Most things that came out of his mouth around you sounded incredibly idiotic—the curse that you unknowingly cast upon him. Still, he tried his best to keep his cool and be entertaining enough to earn your company.

In different circumstances, perhaps you would have retorted with your usual quick-wit, raised eyebrows and all, but Chan knew your fear forbade you from doing so. Instead, you let out a sigh, tightening your thin jacket around your frame as the late-night wind rustled the barren branches of the trees. “Can’t we just go to a haunted house or something...” You muttered, looking back over your shoulder and bringing your knees up to your chest. Somehow, you looked even cuter curled into a ball near the base of the tree.

Chan merely scoffed and playfully poked your cheek as he made a second trip around the old, gnarled trunk, successfully making you jump in surprise. “Scaredy cat,” he cooed with a chuckle as he passed you.

“N-no!” Your teeth chattered as you protested his accusation, the combination of the piercing October air and your own fright making you shiver.

“The ghosts are too fake in haunted houses. You’d know they’re not real, so you wouldn’t be as afraid, which really defeats the purpose of ‘facing your biggest fear.’” Chan felt another smile tug at his cheeks at the thought of going through a haunted house with you simply because the sight would be unbelievably comical. He could imagine your panicked stare and tight grip against the fabric of his shirt as you made your way through the maze of horrors. Maybe, if he was lucky, he could hold your hand for comfort...

The sudden intrusion of your exasperated voice pulled Chan reluctantly back into reality. “I just think this whole thing is...is stupid. What’s wrong with being a little afraid?”

“Well...” Chan snuck up behind you, his arms grasping your shaking figure. “A bet is a bet, Y/N. And you lost.” Chan spoke matter-of-factly, his hands running soothingly up and down your arms in an attempt to return some warmth to you. Despite the distress that riddled your features, when Chan felt your body curl into his, heat rushed to his cheeks, and suddenly he was grateful you couldn’t see his flushed face from behind you. “A-Anyways.” His hands quickly fled from their place on your arms and opted instead to run through his tousled black locks. “You shouldn’t have agreed to it if you didn’t think you could handle it.”

“I can handle it...” Chan could hear the pout in your voice from behind the tree trunk as he continued to pace around it

Truly, he could understand why the dreary atmosphere creeped you out. All of your surroundings screamed of death—the dry, brown grass, the wilting branches of the tree that reached out like arms desperately clinging onto the last whisper of life, the clouds that enshrouded his entire figure with nothing but darkness. But the most jarring aspect was the deafening silence, the nothingness that filled Chan with unease. He understood that graveyards typically weren’t known for their cheerful, welcoming aura, but not a cricket sang, not a bird chirped, not a rabbit twitched it’s nose, not a single soul made any indication of life within the graveyard’s cold iron gates. It was just you and Chan and the crunching of dead leaves underneath the soles of his tennis shoes. If he listened closely enough, he could hear the pulsations of his heart ringing in his ears.

Luckily for you, Chan wasn’t afraid of ghosts, goblins, or monsters of any sort. He was too mature to play into the irrational, whimsical anxieties of children’s tales.

That is, of course, until he turned around one last time only to be met with darkness where your figure once stood.

“Y/N...” He sounded much weaker than he originally intentded, so he cleared his throat and tried again. “Y/N! This isn’t funny!”

His voice didn’t even echo off the battered headstones; only that dreadful, stomach-turning silence replied. He wandered, not too far from your original spot for fear of what may be lurking out there, but still his calls turning more frantic with each passing second. Soon, though he didn’t quite know how, he was weaving through the maze of stone, almost guaranteeing that he would get himself lost.

It was then that he heard it: an ear-piercing scream that shook him to his very core. He didn’t even think twice, sprinting in the general direction it came from, branches snapping sharply underneath his nimble feet. “Y/N! Are you okay?”

A figure was hanging from that same oak tree Chan paced around moments ago. It was large, much too large to belong to a harmless, tree-dwelling animal. In fact, the silloutte appeared to be almost body-sized. Chan gulped, stepping tentatively forward. “This...really isn’t funny...”

He felt like throwing up or passing out or maybe both at the same time. His eyes stayed glued to the mass of darkness in front of him, his feet unable and unwilling to move any closer towards it. “Please...” he muttered, although he was unsure what he was truly wishing for.

The icy touch of metal. The heat that comes only from open-mouthed breathing. Sweat and dry mouth and fingers that eventually go numb because all the blood rushed to his heart. Chan felt all of these sensations as he stood there in disbelief. This was supposed to be innocent—a prank at worst and wonderful memory at best. None of this was supposed to happen, especially not to you.

A whisper—Chan had known of a presence behind him, watching, waiting for him, but had refused to acknowledge it in hopes that it would go away—whipped past his ears along with the harsh wind. He couldn’t bring himself to face it, to turn around, to tear his eyes away as they began water.

“I-I’m so sorry, I didn‘t mean—“

“Happy Halloween, Chan.” A rasping yet familiarly bright voice cooed into his ear, and immediately he whipped around to be met with none other than your smiling face in a plastic, store-bought mask. Chan couldn’t help but let out a laugh of pure relief, cupping your cheeks and grinning from ear to ear upon the realization that you were okay.

“Hey, Chan!” The figure dangling from the tree spoke up, and he recognized the voice as none other than Yoon Jeonghan, the boy who, of course, would never miss out on a opportunity to scare one of his friends.

“Oh my god, we got you so good!” You bounced excitedly, running over to Jeonghan and giving him a high-five of success. He simply beamed back at you, trying to figure out how to get down from his awkward position amongst the branches and failing miserably.

“I will never forgive you for this.” Chan muttered, digging at loose soil with the tip of his shoe.

“Oh hush. You love me.”

Yeah, Chan thought almost out of instinct, I really do.

[paradisobound]

The End is Also the Beginning

Summary: It’s the end of the Mumbai show. Although Dan is bittersweet with endings, Phil knows that he’s going to make their show not only the ending to an era, but the beginning to a new one as well. 

Written for the @phandomficfests: Tour Fest! 

Word Count: 1.2k 

Rating: Teen

Warnings: This fic contains Interactive Introverts spoilers! 

This work is a side by side fic with @phloridas fic that can be found here :)

A/N: I’m super excited to share this with everyone since I really wanted to do a cheesy fic like this for the fic fest! haha Special thanks to my lovely group chat and to @moon-boye, @knlalla, @freckliephil, and @laddyplester for all being great beta’s for this fic and nit-picking it just enough to make this fic amazing in the end! Thank you all again! :) 

It’s been nearly five months since their tour had begun, and there was so much that had happened in those five months that made a lifetime of memories from them. They started in Brighton, just a short distance from their home city, and now they’re about to perform their last show in Mumbai. To say it was bittersweet would be a complete understatement.

The tour itself wasn’t bittersweet, but the ending of this chapter of their lives was. Dan had felt the sadness and post-tour-depression woes  to dawn on him as soon as they touched down in Mumbai. After today, there would be no more constant shows. No more meeting fans all of the time. No more performances. No more Interactive Introverts.

The thought made him sad.

When they had started planning Interactive Introverts, it seemed like a far-fetched idea that would never work. They had been just lying in bed that day, post-sex (but no one needed to know that), when Phil spewed out the words ‘I wanna do another tour’. They brainstormed random and silly ideas back and forth with each other until Dan had jokingly said ‘maybe we should just ask our audience what they would want’. Nearly instantly, the tour was born.

When the tour started, it was bumpy. They made a few slip ups, like being caught in the fact that they made the London show and the Glasgow show exactly the same. And also the time Dan fell on his ass on his stage and nearly cried. Or when Dan was on the wheel being sacrificed and he called Phil a ‘dick’ in front of the audience of their young viewers and some parents. And then there was also that one time where Dan forgot his lines, laughed, and then snorted into the microphone (turns out some viewers had filmed that, cheeky little shits).

But now, they’re in the interval for their last show and Dan is feeling it in his chest. The weight of how this was the last time they’d be performing the second half of the show was heavy. He was gearing up to be on the wheel—like he’d been for majority of these shows—and he was zipping up the plastic suit. Phil was stood back, scrolling on his phone and looking at all of the tags for the show, checking out what everyone was saying.

“Apparently, everyone is loving the fact that you got to be a furry in the simulation portion.”

Dan scoffed. “Ha. Ha. Very funny that my tail got caught in the door and I slipped and died. Very. Unfortunate.”

Phil chuckled, doing his weird tongue thingy that Dan loved so much, even though he liked to pick on it as well. “At least you didn’t end up in hell with the danandphilcrafts version of yourself.”

“Hm…don’t know. I’ve probably got a golden seat embellished with my name already waiting for me down there.”

In the background, the beginning of The Final Countdown started playing and Dan sighed. Show time. He needed to get up on the wheel…for the last time.

* * *

It was getting to be the end of the show. Dan was poised at his piano behind the screen as Phil finished up his diss track. He had his fingers already sitting on the keys so he could start playing as soon as Phil said his cue.

Then he heard it.

The screen opens and there is smoke: Dan always did want to make a dramatic entrance. As he begins to play, he sees Phil stood there on the side of the stage, his backwards cap making him look like a dork. But he was Dan’s dork.

He begins to sing. He thinks his voice is trembling slightly and he hopes no one else can hear it. These lyrics mean a lot to him. They’re the story of he and Phil and he likes being able to tell people about it.

He continues to sing, people are laughing, some are singing along. He can hear it all and it’s making him emotional that this is the last time he’ll ever sing this song for others. Then he stops and looks up for a split second to Phil sitting on the piano.

He loves how Phil glows in this light, so calm and so poised as he watches him.

Dan loves him so much.

And then it’s their duet. Dan knows that they’re not in sync, nor are they harmonised. But he stills loves singing along with Phil. He always has. Even when they’re in their kitchen and singing along to the songs of Mamma Mia at three AM while wine drunk.

And then the duet is over, and people are clapping and cheering. And everything is done. It’s over. They’re over. The show is over. Dan feels like he could cry. Maybe he is? He feels kind of numb right now.

But then the cheering stops and there are some gasps coming from the audience. He’s confused. Why is that? Did something set on fire? He doesn’t smell smoke.

He looks around because he’s honestly confused until he sees it and his hands come up to his mouth in shock. In front of him, there was Phil, on one knee, with a black velvet box opened to show a beautiful black band glimmering under the light.

“Dan, I’ve been wanting to do this for so long and I have been struggling to find the correct time.” He hears Phil begin. “We’ve become more open and we’ve agreed that we wanted to make ourselves more known and our relationship more visible. That was the whole point of our lives this past year, right? I’ve loved you since I first met you, and I’ve known for these past ten years that I wanted to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you.” Phil’s voice was now choked up, and Dan could feel some stray tears coming down his cheeks as well. “Will you marry me?”

Dan’s answer is immediate. It comes out a little bit choked but he manages a “yes!” pretty quickly before sliding off his piano seat and throwing his arms around Phil. They don’t kiss because he isn’t ready to show that level of PDA yet. But they do hold each other as the audience cheers and whistles. He lets Phil place the ring on his finger and it’s a little bit big, but they’ll worry about the resizing later.

He looks down and he’s in shock. The black band stands out against his complexion and he has no words. As he stands up, with Phil beside him, they wave their goodbyes to the fans and Dan can’t help but stare at the glimmering black on his left ring finger. As they stand in the back, waiting for the screen to close, he takes Phil’s hand in his and he smiles widely.

This is definitely an end of an era for them, but it’s also the beginning of a more amazing one as well. Up next: house shopping, wedding planning, and dog adopting.

But that can wait after they spend the next few days in a haze of love as they travel around Mumbai.