#have to remind myself i was working full time and writing my thesis full time and recovering from a breakup

[ieidolon]

all things considered im actually doing pretty alright. like. yeah i didn't complete my project outlines in time to apply for those PhDs. im still young. there will be more of them in the spring and summer and fall. in the meantime i'm employed full time, saving money, living on my own, working out regularly for the second time in my life (and actually gaining muscle this time), and learning another language for fun in my spare time. i didn't achieve my goals but i haven't been standing still either. maybe it's fine to relax a little for now and resume academic work when i have the energy for it. maybe i can forgive myself for not living up to all my standards at once

[ganondoodle]

Not gonna lie, the "It looks like a Divine Circle but is actually just hundreds of years of superstition & propaganda"-Concept is the coolest fucking thing I didn't know I needed until ten minutes ago. It's a super cool inversion of the classic trope, opens up a million possibilities for stories and arcs and on top of that, in game, you would obviously not know about it form the beginning but slowly have to collect clues and hints that things are not quite as everyone tells you.

So yeah, very cool concept!

Not directly related, but it's probably no surprise that my favorite Ganondorf line is the "I coveted that Wind"-line from the finale of Wind Waker. He doesn't even go into detail, cause he doesn't have to, this line alone instantly humanizes him. Like, its the end of the game, we are about to fight him, there is no way this will not end in a fight, and yet, at that point, that line, just goes so fucking hard. Because you instantly know what he's talking about, that he simply wanted a future for his people, which, you know, is a very human thing to do. It wont stop us from fighting him here and now, way too much has happened for that, but it reminds us, the audience, that he has motives and reasons and thoughts and is an actual character.

So yeah, in case it's not obvious yet, I too despise the extremely flat "I'm evil because evil, waaaaaaaaagh!" Ganondorf from TOTK. Why even include him if you cant be arsed to actually write him?

Anyways, last thing, I'll have to somewhat disagree on the Gameplay vs Story thing, at least partially because I work in the field and have had experiences with this problem myself. Not saying its impossible to have both, but its a lot more difficult than one would expect.

Towards your point, yes a good story can pull people through a game, but so can strong gameplay. Take the Doom games, I dont really care about their story, but the gameplay is great. On the other hand, the gameplay of the average Telltale game would be incredibly boring without the story behind it. There are hybrids, but even they tend to lean one way or the other: The Assassins Creed or Uncharted Series have solid and fun gameplay, but would probably get repetitive or boring if we didn't have strong characters and stories that keep us interested. And all of that is before you consider that there are different player types that gravitate to one or the other and it gets even more complicated. (There's more to this but I my thoughts on the topic could easily be a full bachelors Thesis, so I'll stop here.)

I should add that I dont think that the gameplay over story (or vice versa) argument can or should be used to defend games or design choices. Yes, Nintendo does prefer to focus on Gameplay over Story. Does that mean we shouldn't expect a good story, or are not allowed to criticize a bad one in their games? Hell no! (And if my previous ask sounded like I was doing that, I apologize, that was NOT what I meant to say! I'll happily critique all of TOTKs flaws, both in gameplay & story, otherwise how can we learn from it?)

This argument can be used to understand and analyze or interpret design decisions but it shouldn't ever be used to defend them. Just like the "just for kids" argument, by using such arguments, the person in question basically admits that they are aware of the weaknesses and faults in their story/game/whatever but didn't fix or improve them. So yeah, I do agree with you on that front 100%, hiding behind such arguments is a problem.

Anyway, sorry for leaving another wall of text in your inbox, hope you're having a nice day!

thank you! that 'cycle' concept is also what destiny (zelda comic) is based on, since it takes place before skyward sword you get to see the set up for it, and, in this story, the gods have been trying to achieve it countless times, throughout the story of it its supposed to slowly be revealed- like demise already knowing some parts since hes yet another 'failed' version of that plan (im reusing that concept for the totk rewrite as well bc i am very original wahoo)

oh you work in that field! thats cool!! yeah my opinion on this sort of thing is very much a thing i formed bc i play games, though i still dream of gamedev, i guess i understood your mention of it a little too much into the dismissive argument way (though not as an attack) and its been repeated so so many times i cant help but get a little >_> at it; the point i was trying to make was more like ... they need to find a balance with it, like you can make it all about gameplay, but then dont pretend you have the most epicest story that ever storied, maybe even do it less or more subtle, like the fromsoft game i feel like are very well balanced in that regard, bc their lore and story is very neat and intertwined, but you have to look and think to get it, and the gameplay is strong on its own so much so that it kinda ends up being both soemthing for people that dont care about lore and those that do, more than about the gameplay

zelda feels like it doesnt quite know what to do (even moreso modern zelda), bc they prioritize the gameplay but then still put in a story that they want understood .. so its like, babiefied? like there is a "simple" story and its few points are repeated into your face over and over and over so the people that dont care to read into soemthing GET IT but also annoy them, bc they dont care anyway, and the people who care about lore/story above gameplay are bored bc the narrative isnt engaging enough and they dont care as much about the gameplay

especially so with totk i think, its so weird, botw wasnt like that imo, it wasnt overly complicated either but at least it left you wondering, and let you think, the more you thought about the more interesting it was (at least to me) totk feels like the opposite, it doesnt want you to think, bc the more you think about it the more it falls apart and makes less sense

like theres types of games that focus HARD on one or the other (like slay the princess for example, its like an interactive audio book, there isnt much gameplay but it goes hard on narrative), so obviously the balance of gameplay and story isnt applicable to every game, but for zelda in particular they say they are one but then still want the other part just as much? like the lore in skyward sword isnt great, the characters are strong though, the gameplay isnt that engaging (to me, since that needs to be said) i got through it mostly just bc i wanted to see what comes next and liked the characters, in botw the freedom and world and gameplay were like nothign i ever experienced, exploring was addictive and the story took a bit of a backseat, but it was fitting for the game and lend itself so well to theorize, in totk they .. idk what the focus was, the .. glue? the toys to glue together? nothing fits together there and each part works against another instead of together, somehow, its so weird to me

the thing is, if you do gameplay over story, you need to roll with it? if thats what it is then let the story take a backseat, make it subtle and in the background or vague, dont stuff the game full of unskippable cutscenes where a character you dont care about explains you a thing you already figured out through the gameplay; like the zelda dragon point, let the design of the dragon and its music, what its carrying speak for itself, the way the deku tree is weirded out by the sword moving, maybe a quick subtle voice line once you get the sword fading away like the last parts of her soul being whispered away- but dont mention it in one of the first cutscenes, fail to bury it in 'thats illegal though and irreversible so nono dont you do it' (why mention it then huh) allude to it multiple times, and then just straight up show it (i get people like the scene but man, it would have been way cooler to figure it out yourself)

same goes for the fake zelda thing, the weird way she said the bloodmoon text already alluded to it, have her show up here and there but vanish before you (no "omg thats zelda omg what is she dooooing") , or go even harder and make her an NPC standing around the world interacting with you all nromally but animals react weirldy to her- make the midfight against her (maybe even that she isnt talking so you are unsure if its actually her but controlled by sth else, or talk all normally while literally going for your throat) and then have her dissolve into goop and woa the bloodmoon thing is without her now the zelda you have been talking to has been fake the whole time, its creepy!! leave out the stupid cutscenes of showing it multiple times!! stop monologing at me!!

ppl that dont care about it can go and do a fight and i can think about it! everyone wins yahoo!

(actually ... if you leave out all the cutscenes in totk i feel like it improves the game by alot ...)

(what my point in the previous thing was in the end that you can repeat the same old trope only so many times without changing anything before it gets boring as hell, like what you said here, and the series seems to really be setting itself on fire bc it just wants to do the trope of old so badly and at some point its gonna drag down even the best of gameplays like gameplay over story means (to me) gameplay is prioritized so whatever narrative there is is in the background, subtle and not overtly in your face with big cutscenes etc- but what i feel like its often supposed to mean is "its fine if theres a shitty story that makes no sense pasted on top bc they prioritize gameplay so stop complaining" like to me what it should mean is more gameplay, less story, a measure of quantity not of quality, but what i feel like it often means is better gameplay, bad story, a measure of quality, not quantity )

maybe my problem lies elsewhere and im just projecting it on gameplay > story, that could very much be the case, i could have a fundamental missunderstanding about this here, im still just a guy with opinions in the end and got no knowledge about anything other than i play games sometimes and these are the things i like and dislike and would do differently *puts my head in my hands*

idk if im making sense, im usually not very good at explaining how i feel or think :/ (or i THINK im bad at it, autism be damned)

(sorry this got so long again ......................)

[somerunner]

Uhhhh more Cradle posts possibly. Cradle ask game

So I have a serious work-avoidance and screen addiction problem, like 8-10 hours a day. I also have an undergraduate thesis to write. I can get a little bit of work done every day, and can get more done if I am kept accountable. I can also get more done if I get the ball rolling by doing some unrelated task.

With that in mind, here’s an ask game! It’ll give me a reason to convince myself to actually work on those Cradleposts that I said I would make a few months ago. Send one or more numbers or the questions verbatim, and add your input (i.e. send an ask that’s like “1, Ziel’s arc” or “1: Thoughts on a character arc in Cradle. I’d like to hear your thoughts on Ziel”). You could also just send the number/question with no input, and I’ll write about whatever I feel like.

Thoughts on a character arc in Cradle

Thoughts on a Path

Thoughts on a one-appearance character

Thoughts on any other character

What’s the last idle theory I had about Cradle (basically, just “Thoughts”)

Write a short canon-compliant fanfic (i.e. a battle Yerin had, or Gesha actually enjoying her time in the Blackflame Empire while the kids train)

Write a short fanfic, not canon-compliant (i.e. Lindon gets visited by Zakariel and not Suriel, or Yerin gets Solo Leveling system powers. It could be literally anything)

Draw a crappy fanart (please have low expectations lol, I don’t know how to draw and will also draw the whole thing in like 2 minutes)

Funny post (i.e. funny hypotheticals like “I wonder if Reigan Shen was any good at DDR” or funny observations like “Biggest Lindon L: he never made a totally epic launcher construct out of the Dreadgods. Huge loss”)

Short crackfic (basically the same as above, but narrated)

Hypothetical situation (i.e. how would the gang fare vs. Goku, what kind of pasta would Eithan cook, which member of the group would be best at video games, etc.)

Add an Image ID to Cradle art (I’ve been meaning to do that for all the ones I’ve seen but it’s so much easier to just scroll)

Just a reminder, send a number or the full question, and then add what you’d like for the question to be answered about! I’ll only spend a few minutes on any of these unless I lose track of time, since the point is to get me out of a scrolling rut and get to work on college stuff.

Does this actually work to get me on task? Kinda! It’s better than uninterrupted scrolling, which is my usual state.

Oh, and if you want to send these asks about Will Wight’s other work, I can also answer those. I’ve read all his other stuff too.

[notasapleasure]

@stripedroseandsketchpads ahh with the caveat that everyone works differently, I'll try to describe how it works* for me! :)

*when it works

I guess I'd say the key thing is to start with the story you want to tell. That's got to be the anchor throughout - details may change and you might add episodes in or take them out or change the order, but you've got to hold fast to what it is you want to do with your characters and plot.

You've started from a point of imagining a scenario that is plausible in the setting you've chosen, or plausible enough to work with a little tweaking of the setting or background, or even a little handwaving to get going. Your blorbos are ready and waiting in the storyworld you've chosen, and it's up to you to invite your readers into said storyworld and keep them and their belief there.

Maintaining that belief is a combination of sticking to a good pace and providing a rich setting - so your research should be coming in here to help you make the setting work.

Personally I don't find it helpful to think of research as a separate phase - I want to be constantly pushing ahead with the writing. Sometimes that means skipping a scene or doubling back, always re-reading what I have, always going over what I expect to happen next, even as I research questions that come up along the way. Sometimes it's small things to help a scene (hang on, let me remind myself of what that landscape looks like or how these people dressed) sometimes it's something bigger for down the line that I try to chip away at from different angles - i.e. I have a vague idea of how [x] works in this setting but I'm not sure how it'll fit in my plot so I'm going to read things about it and contemplate it some more. Sometimes it's a small thing and I just go 'do I need this detail/to describe this or is there a way of paraphrasing that saves anyone having to think about it too much'.

Thinking in terms of that post about historical door hinges going round recently - how attached are you to the idea of the door 'swinging' open? Can you rephrase things so someone enters the room suddenly and dramatically without describing the mechanism that lets them do so? Yes? Then you don't need to spend hours researching the history of the door hinge (maybe you want to, but you have to accept at that point you're not writing, you're just procrastinating on the internet). Do you feel it's really necessary to know your character would make that door swing open and slap back against the wall with a sound to startle the whole room? You're going to want to do enough research to make sure that's plausible!

(though be aware that many people do not notice such things at all! My boss was always complaining that there were tomatoes in The Liars' Gospel; you'll also have seen the post about many many published authors not seeming to have a clue about what parchment actually is - you will have ahistorical and inaccurate details in there, it's pretty inevitable, but most of the time no one else is going to know they're inaccurate either, especially if they're not things that play a big function in the story you're actually telling. Obviously having a beta or someone to ask helps, too - you'd expect anyone with passing knowledge of the setting to point out the tomatoes and parchment issues, which is why they're so egregious, but door hinges are probably less likely to make a reader stop and double-take.)

Notes....I feel I should mention notes. With the caveat that many notes I have for many of my settings come from you :')

I'm a bit of a pantser with notes because I'm writing fic, not an actual novel, so it's more important to me to be internally consistent and have fun than it is to have a folder full of notes to rival my PhD thesis. But notes are important because you don't want to have to do your research twice :') so in the name of striking a balance I'd whittle it down to the essentials: 1) take down your source accurately so you can find it again (book title and author and PAGE NUMBER/URL) 2) photo pages/screenshot or copy and paste relevant quotes where you can with like. A one word/sentence summary of content - it's quicker than paraphrasing and you're not writing an essay, you just want to be able to check back on the details when needed; points that really make your brain go ZING go in your working file/plotting file reduced to their most essential elements (possibly also with a URL for quick double-checking).

I always have a scrappy tail at the bottom of my draft with dialogue I want to get to in rough form, bullet points of things that need to happen in a certain order, and odd bits of research to come back to.

I generally prefer to work with the research fresh, though - most often I look stuff up as I write, and if I don't get the answer I want within a couple of searches I set it aside and think of a way to go round/skip it for now. If I do get the answer I'm after I incorporate it and move on (I would recommend taking down at least a URL at this point, which I very rarely bother to do). Mostly what I'm saying is, if I want to write I write, rather than thinking about writing, which is kind of what research is when you spend hours on it thinking about how it could affect your story without actually putting it to use in writing your story...💀

Anyway, I think that's my rough guide? But I have mutuals who are actual published historical novelists so they might say I'm wildly off the mark! Bear in mind I have 0 creative writing training I just like words a lot and using them to make my blorbos kiss, and much as I enjoy it, very few readers seem fussed by what I do, so I may be doing it totally wrong! :)))

But I am having fun and being myself :))))

Oh ALSO another caveat because I remembered we're talking Dunnett fic: do not try to be Dorothy. She spent decades living every moment she could in the BL before writing Lymond. You are not writing Lymond. You are writing fic. You want it to be believably in the same storyworld, but you don't have to have a grasp of every detail the way she does seems to.

One of my best tips for research and writing of any kind actually is to have a handy example of when someone is very Wrong about something that you can always go back to - as a reminder you have an argument to push back against, or just to take an idol down a peg or two. If you're spiralling about a particular detail then just think of the time Dorothy didn't understand sixteenth-century dress accurately and use that moment to extend both her and yourself a little grace. :)

[clipolscitrekkie]

Tl;dr This my intro into a decade of stacking degrees, always looking for something impactful to help the climate while nerding out and about the humanities. I struggle with starting the thesis of my postgrad after working for a while and seeing my cohort graduate, as well as with procrastination. So this will be my outlet to see this project grow, just like my plants <3

Hi, this me! This is going to be clunky, but I need to remind myself that I'm writing this primarily for me, to uplift myself, give myself accountability and, above all, a place to put my writing and explore. By way of introduction, I'm in my late twenties and have been a student for-absolute-ever (yay almost free European education). Starting out with a literature degree, I funneled my geeking about the environment into environmental humanities seminars and my first BA thesis. It was a strange and beautiful new world to explore, but it also threw me into a crisis about my academic path and beyond. How would my studying literature translate into tangible change against the climate crisis? I know better now, about the role of imagination and the power of storytelling, but at 21 I wanted to pour myself into more direct action - and for this naive young person this meant starting afresh with a social science degree. I soaked up the sociology literature and everything IR and started working as a student assistant at an IR institute, but options to specialize in climate governance were limited. So, when I had finished that second undergrad degree, I went full in on an environmental science degree with a specialization on climate governance and loved it (mostly). When I had wrapped up all my courses, but hadn't started the thesis yet, I was approached by a professor to start working for a policy advice project on a climate governance issue, in addition to two study-related jobs I was already working on. In hindsight I sometimes wonder if saying yes was the right choice - as I found myself unable to actually start my thesis through the running time of that project (surprise! But also, chronic perfectionist and procrastinator speaking). It felt like a standalone offer and I am mostly grateful for it, as I learned SO much about a job I can see myself doing after my degree and felt like I was really contributing to something real in my field, maybe for the first time. But now this project is over and I am still a student. A student without a cohort, as everyone else has graduated. A someone who struggles with putting things off endlessly instead of facing the possibility to fail. A someone who yet has to find that topic that I want to invite to fill my brain for a whole nine months. I feel quite alone - and that is why want to write this blog. To share that journey with whoever might be interested - be it just for a small part of the path or longer -, to put it somewhere other than my lonely desk. To see my project finally learn to stand, take baby steps, and walk. To one day look back at this, laugh at the dramatic grandeur in this first post and be glad at how far I've come. Cheers

[generation1point5]

After Echo: A Retrospective

It's been a little over a year since Echo and its related works compelled me to write a slew of thoughts and a whole fanfic. I had joined a community, left with some new friends, and am now back largely to the same place I was before. I've come full circle, as it were.

I've taken and contributed largely what I could, and now that I look back on this time it feels to me more like a chapter read and closed than anything ongoing. The thought does not make me as melancholic as I thought it might, perhaps for the fact that I feel like I have done all I could; that, and the anticipation of knowing that this day would one day come to pass has also crossed my mind a long time ago. It is not the first time I've passed through such phases in life, and it will certainly not be the last. It's a well-worn, familiar road by now.

Yet the impact it's left on me, however brief, has demonstrably proven that this particular cycle has been more compelling than most; the last time I had committed so much to a fandom was Mass Effect. Disco Elysium might have counted too, if not for the fact that my radicalization into Marxism had been a project that was already years in the making at that point, and my engagement of that sort is of a different dynamic entirely. That owes to the nature and social approach to politics as a whole when it comes to human relations, I think.

At the time of writing, After All has just over 1,650 views, and 70 kudos, far surpassing my earlier publicly published project for Mass Effect regarding my OCs. That is to be expected, considering that I was writing about actual (and very popular) characters from the work itself. To my own impression, it has made more of an impact among AO3 readers in general than it has with the community surrounding Echo Project as a whole. This is also within expectations, as I was writing a fic whose very premise is subject to much discourse within the fandom, and it didn't feature much of anything in the way of mature content beyond the banality of horror in late-stage capitalism affecting a small town in America (or Columbia, as it were).

I check back on my work less often than when I did shortly after I started uploading it, but each time I come back to it I still find lines that I'm happy that I had put to words; it was those few instants where I feel like I had touched on something fundamental, raw and true, and portrayed it with a clarity that stands the test of time. Ultimately, I am satisfied with the work I produced. I did not write After All to be a blockbuster. But part of me did write the fic with the intent for it to be read for an audience beyond myself; otherwise, it would have all remained in my head, never committed to paper. There is always a two-level game to the artistic process; it must be sincere and near enough to the heart to be worth the effort, but it is always published with the hope that others see it, that it would be recognized. I constantly remind myself never to find validation in my art. Recognition should always be kept distinct from self-worth. I am all-too familiar with the ways that tying one's identity to close to their creative sides can lead to self-destructive views on oneself.

Unlike the visual arts, the written word always contains a thesis, a velocity, a direction, an argument and intent to add or otherwise alter perspective. It is not satisfied with realizing a projected image onto a visual medium. Words can be made pretty by good organization, but if the content is empty the work will be rendered lifeless.

My intent with After All was not to correct what I perceived to be a wrong in the writing, nor was it a simple exercise of wish fulfillment (or so I tell myself). What Echo had captivated and inspired in me was, much like Disco Elysium, the banality of the horror of our everyday circumstances, the material dialectic and contradictions within our socioeconomic fabric that shape the lives of many. Despite the presence of the paranormal in Echo, the key theme it speaks to, and what I always return to, is that we make monsters of ourselves and other people. I am compelled by the tragedy inherent in the struggle to rid ourselves of these horrors while not losing ourselves in the process. It speaks to the human condition, and that was what I hoped to capture.

What I had concluded early on, and what I knew would cause me to detach myself from the community even as I got into it, was the tendency for fandoms to reduce stories to their "moral," as they are derived by all who interpret the work. In a way, it goes to show how we evaluate characters as a whole, to read them as ultimately good or bad, people worth defending or condemning, but to me these debates serve only to reinforce a broader point: that at best, the products of human emotion (art, philosophy, politics, music, literature, etc.) are interpretations of the world. They tell you more about the person who's talking than the world they're talking about. What I had wished to write was in response to these black and white assessments, to re-establish a thesis that we are complex, self-contradicting, self-divided. I wanted to broaden the focus on the character by illustrating the world, and see the grey out of the black and white. It was meant to be a sober look in the mirror, darkly revealed through the lens of Echo's characters and the world it shares with our own. I wanted to write a story without that clear sense of karma, as such a notion is neither present in Echo nor the real world. The question of what people deserved was never the point of Echo, and neither was it something that I wanted to assert in my fic, either. Far more compelling to me is the idea regarding one's capacity for change, distinct from whether it was warranted, deserved or even possible.

At the same time, I wanted to tell a story that spoke to more than just self-improvement. The most compelling stories for me are not ones that are focused on individuals, or solitary heroes that beat the odds. Far more moving are stories that illustrate the broader world around them, as Echo did, to highlight the tension between changing the self and the self being changed by circumstances. That tension, I believe, is the reason why we feel the weight of our world so keenly. This struggle is neither noble nor beautiful, neither moral nor heinous. Like pain, it is simply there, and despite our best effort to flee from it, it lingers. That, to me, is the story of Echo. It is the story of many of our lives, and why we all try to make something of it, often into something that it is not. Who is to say whether it will be, ultimately, for the better?

After All is, by my own analysis and admission, a slanted excursion in self-expression. It was an attempt to show others how I see the world and the people in it, as expressed by the art of another, who saw and portrayed much the same world in their own way. I intended my own contributions as a gesture of respect, of recognition, of remembrance when I had finished my journey and began a new one. Since then, I have journeyed onto new pastures and old haunts, and look back on those prior days with a distant fondness and melancholy, having crossed into the pastures I had long espied over the horizon.

But the echoes of that time will always remain.

[fastcardotmp3]

28 33 40 :))). I was thinking of asking about 1 but I would be very surprised if you have an answer for that tbh! Your execution is always amazing. Maybe just like, "I would like to explore writing X fic but with Y"

💛 writers asks! 💛

anon that is far too kind of you (and you're right I would explore a lot of my fics from different angles fjasklfd) but I promise my answer to 1 ("Which of your fics would you keep the basic plot of but rewrite completely?") is very many of the things that I've written!

one of the things I love about fic both as a writer and a reader is that a lot of the time you're engaging with a work in progress, but that means some of my post-as-you-go fics could definitely use some revision in hindsight!

SEFS was very let the vibes take me in its process and I can't look back at it without thinking about how I'd make parts of it more concise, etc; and if I had known my kas!chrissy series was going to develop a Real Narrative (instead of the AU snapshots I'd intended) I might've planned for it better from the start!

but now that I've answered a question you didn't ask fjaksdlfa onwards!

28. Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing?

Write about your characters/ plots/ premises like you're a fan!!! Whether fic or not, something that helps knocking me out of my own head are things which you've actually probably seen a lot of on my blog-- little rambling rants and ficlets and commentary that go completely unedited and never end up as part of a final product but which remind you why you love a character, what's interesting about them to you, what the meaning behind their story is or a new angle to look at it from.

you never have to show it to anyone, but just letting yourself write about the world at large or a character specifically like you're going on a tirade to a friend can shake loose some really interesting ideas to explore AND gets the words flowing to boot <3

33. Give your writing a compliment

oof gah yikes @ this question etc but I think something I pride myself on at least trying to do are creating satisfying/ full circle/ fleshed out endings. at the very least, I write the kind of unrushed endings that i like to read, so that counts for something fjsdkl

40. Write a 9-word fic

(In the form of my favorite nancy thesis statement:)

Nancy Wheeler lives. That's what makes it a tragedy.

[purpleicedteas]

sometimes I really kick myself for not writing enough or posting enough fic but I try to calm myself down bc rn I’m modding two events, about to graduate, finishing my thesis, job hunting, working full time, and dealing with significant life events & health issues…like it’s ok.

I have such wonderful ideas in my head I want to write so badly, but I have to prioritize things. I also remind myself I wrote my multi chapter fic over winter break when I wasn’t dealing with school and work was slow

It’s so easy to compare yourself, even to your past self

[elfira]

trying to be aileen in a world full of alice

It's monday evening, September 30. I am at the library, doing some assignments, and also will work on the thesis (which I am very anxious for). September feels odd, really. Nothing big really happened, everything was just the same. Except people are progressing more than me, I guess. Some of my friends already did their proposal defense. Yet I'm still working on revising my own proposal, which I haven't even started yet cause I have this side of me who would throw up everytime I open the document. Idk. It's just scary. I'll try to remind myself that everything is okay, that revising is not something horror, that I can actually do it and it'll pass. But here I am, writing a not-worth to post writing now. I started to read again, cause I feel like I should feel again. It's been a long time since something really make me think and feel at the same time. The last entertainment I had was that one series called Presumed Innocent on Apple TV and I didn't even finished it yet. Ted Lasso was there as well, and I was also planning to make a tribute post to the series as it was really helping me a lot through stuffs. So, I read books again, tried the Beach Read, which seems like what everyone else's reading. I think it's okay, not intriguing so I haven't continued to read again. I also tried to read the historical fiction by a German author that was suggested by an online friend I talked to in Discord, which then I realized I had watched a movie adapted from the book. I of course have not continued cause it is 'historical'. So then, I tried to read a book from Sally Rooney, 'A Beautiful World, Where Are You?'. I like te book. Back then, Normal People would be relatable for me in some aspects. I think this book relates me in more aspects. And that's the only reason why I still read it. Well anyway, apart from reading book, I started cooking for myself. Cause it's cheaper I guess. And I can finally eat beefs without feeling bad cause Yoshinoya's very expensive and I can't spend more than $4 a day. But then I discovered this frozen beef on Shopee and I can cook it for like 3 times. Basically $1 for a plate. Nice offer.

This month I explored more and I found myself new people again. Someone who lives in Portugal, someone who's just mas-mas biasa, and this interesting same age guy from Tangerang. The one from Portugal is just like Felix from France (his name is not actually Felix in case he found out I have a blog) except that he's like, pretty introverted I would say. He's sort of nerd, he plays game, and he doesn't party. While Felix is more like a celebrity and friendly to everyone. Not gonna lie, but I still have a soft heart for this Felix guy. He's a good guy and we're friends.

The mas-mas biasa, let's call him Jack (it's supposed to be Jaka cause he's Javanese, but still it's not his real name). Jack is a normal guy I suppose, he works as a consultant in a politic kind of thing for the election. He's okay but he's too mas mas for me, you know what I mean? It's just our tastes and personality is different. And I don't think friendship can last long if it's not because we are the same.

The last one is this special friend called Pop. Pop is his real internet name, by the way. While I'm writing this, I still have not known his name yet, or maybe I will not even know his name even. So Pop, is a... cool, artsy, somewhat annoying (you know what kind of annoying I mean), and edgy typa guy???? I really don't know how to describe him, but yeah, he is cool. Like coooool. He's a student of Film & Television? I don't really know anything about him but he seems like a really really great guy. We shared a lot about ourselves, but still, it feels like I've only known him from the surface just yet. He's chill, he's smart, he's open minded. He likes Tottenham Spurs, he said. He's cute.

[konmarkimageswords]

CIRCUMSCRIBE I once was a graffiti artist up all night hunting  and circling scenes of random beauty.  I’d tag my name underneath:  CircumScribe. It was a dream.  It came from infinity.  It landed in my marrow.  It made my bones light. It reminded me: the last time I died  I was born Brooke Julia Gessay  October 9th, 1981, and the gap  between is the gap happening now. It reminded me: I was born with a vow so central  it can’t be seen, beating my heart, and my job  is to live it to certain death. It reminded me: we must feed our vows with our very own flesh. It reminded me: circle beauty. Move bones  by moving the gap inside the marrow.  It reminded me: it’s not all going to be ok,  but it already is, but I must make it so. It reminded me of the hours I failed at birthing  in the bardo between night and day, and how  I gave up trying, so bewildered by terror and intensity  until that thin veil appeared between this world and what’s under it - that darkness unfathomably full - and the silent voice sounded  everywhere and nowhere  are you willing to die for this? and I yowled the YES that changes everything  while pushing a planet down and out my pelvis  and a big bang, different but similar, ripped  through my throat with a violent ultraviolet light. It reminded me: there are resources  we cannot conceive of, and we find them  in the asking if the asking  is alive enough to annihilate and reorganize our current selfing  for something better at love. It reminded me: I see you  bravely meeting what is yours alone to meet. Are you willing to die  for this? Feed your vow  and eat it and offer it away. ~ Brooke McNamara

From the Author:

Just under a year ago on zen retreat, during the first morning meditation (candles lit, incense rising), I felt a rush of love move up my body and (silently, viscerally) say: "Get up early. Every day. Write poems again. A book is coming." My son, Lundin, was eight months old at the time.  The idea of writing a book seemed possibly insane. I hadn't written many poems for over a decade since my college thesis. But something about that call from who-knows-where in meditation that morning put me under a spell - of sheer curiosity for what I'd find if I actually followed through. Not in my head, but actually. Not in fantasy, but with my real, tired, working-mothering self every damn, glorious morning.  As an experiment, I began summoning myself out of bed (too) early, trying not to wake my husband and son.  In the dark, I'd rise and sneak-fumble to a hot cup of coffee and the blank page. It often somehow felt like my first and/or last day alive. What is there to say from that perspective?  Sometimes, nothing at all.  I would sit and stare in dumb wonderment. Something about that holy hour before dawn and the confrontation with the page just brought me to my knees. But sometimes, voices came to meet me - either my own at its most human or, in some cases, voices I don't quite recognize as my own that spoke to and through me in the early hours.   These voices have kept my heart soft and my laughter strong through tired and mundane moments.  They've kept me sane and inspired, and that's why I'm compelled to share them with you. These voices are good company, and I regard them as real friends.  So writing this book has not felt like a choice, really. I have participated as fully as possible with something that's felt inevitable and necessary: uncovering my own unique conversation with inspiration.  I still can't say what it is exactly.  But for me it is worth living for and worth dying for, and I vow to hunt, seduce, and share it.   My wish for Feed Your Vow is that the sweet, hard-won inspiration I encountered in writing it becomes contagious for you as you enter and explore it. This is the magic that truly feeds my vow. Thank you from the center of my heart.

About the Author:

Brooke McNamara holds a BA in Creative Writing (Poetry) and an MFA in Dance.  She teaches Yoga on faculty at Naropa University and is a lecturer in Dance at the University of Colorado, Boulder.  She is ordained as a monk and empowered as an Integral Dharma Holder in the Zen Buddhist lineage of Diane Musho Hamilton, Sensei.  Brooke has danced professionally for over a decade and written poems since a young age.  She received the Charles B. Palmer Prize through the Academy of American Poets.  Brooke lives in Boulder, Colorado with her husband, Rob, and their son, Lundin.

[cutelittleluckysoul]

It is going to be alright

This is very self-inserted cause I had an awful day and just want Steven 'with a V' Grant to make it better and take care of me.

No warnings this is just fluff. Steven comforting reader. No use of Y/N. Not proof read

Steven Grant x reader (Mentions of Marc and Jake but only very briefly)

Your day has been awful! First you couldn't really sleep because of the heat in the apartment you shared with your boyfriend. It is a nice apartment but there was no A/C. For may it was really hot.

Then in the morning you almost missed your train. When you got on the train you didn't find a seat. The whole thing was packed! People were pushing against each other with every move of the train. You were quite certain the guy beside you even grabbed your ass. Before you could give him a piece of your mind he left the train, almost knocking your tea to go out of your hand. Your Bluetooth headphones had died the moment you reached the train so you were hearing the annoying kid down the compartment and his mum discussing why he can't have chicken nuggets for breakfast. That reminded you that you didn't have any breakfast that morning.

When you finally got to the one class you had that morning you thought your day would get at least a little better. But the topic of todays lesson was more than boring. At least they finished earlier than planned.

After class you were supposed to go look for a present for your nephew. You knew what he wanted but couldn't find it anywhere. You looked in every shop where you knew it would have been normally. But nothing.

Defeated you bought something for lunch. Just your luck you missed your train because of that and had to wait another hour. Your lunch would be cold by the time you were home.

While you waited your mum called to tell you that the family dog was getting sicker every day and that they probably had to put him down soon.

So all the way back home you were crying.

Thinking you could distract yourself a little you ate your lunch while working on your thesis. But everything you wrote sounded like rubbish to you. After a while you got more into it and it finally got better. But then the internet cut off. Of course you didn't save anything you wrote for the last two hours, way too absorbed into your topic to think about saving the file. You could feel the first tears starting to run down your face until you were full on sobbing, seriously thinking about just quitting. Who needs a degree anyway? Especially in literature.

You didn't even hear the door unlocking. Your boyfriend came in looking rather happy. His back was turned to you as he closed the door so he greeted you with a cheery "Hello luv." When you didn't respond he turned to you, seeing how your body shook with sobs.

He was next to you in seconds, pulling your body into his. "Love what is wrong?"

You tried telling him but nothing besides hiccups came out of your mouth. You were clinging onto him burring your face in his shirt. Comfortingly he stroked over your back. "Shhhh it is alright love. You are alright. Can you breath with me? Hm? Yes just like that you are doing so good. That's it. In and out." His calm tone and his breathing helped you to eventually calm down that you at least could talk. He softly helped you off of the chair you were sitting in and maneuvered you over to the sofa where you plopped down.

He left to make some tea for the both of you and then joined you again, pulling you back into him.

"Do you mind telling me what is wrong now?" His voice still very soft. His fingers softly painting patterns on your arm.

"I just had an awful day... First this heat, then I almost missed the train. Some guy definitely groped my ass. Mum called to say that Ares is very sick and probably has to be put down soon... I tried to distract myself by continuing to write my thesis. But then the internet cut off and I saved nothing of the stuff I wrote!" You sounded so defeated. "I will just drop out. What is even the point?"

"Hey none of that." His voice yet soft, had some edge to it. You looked up at him. "You are fantastic at what you are doing. And you actually love what you are doing. It is just a bad day not a bad life." You gave him a little smile. "That is such a stupid quote." "But it is true isn't it?"He softly grinned down at you. "Maybe..." You snuggled closer to him. "I know you will ace your thesis. And if not I am going to show up there and talk some sense into them." That actually made you chuckle. "I am afraid they don't listen to random people." "Maybe I get Marc for that he can be very convincing. Or Jake if we have to." "Please don't." You giggled, but you knew he was serious even when was chuckling. "There is that smile I love so much." He gave your nose a small kiss. You hummed closing your eyes. "Do you really think everything will work out ok?" "Of course. In the end everything will turn out to be alright no matter what." "You sound like my dad." "Is that so bad?" "No."

For a while none of you spoke. You just enjoyed being close to Steven. You didn't even mind the heat anymore. Your tea has gone cold some time ago.

"How about we visit your parents?" "What?" You looked up at him bewildered. It is not like you didn't want to it just surprised you. "Yeah we could visit them. Then you can say goodbye to your dog one last time. A proper goodbye." Tears sprang to your eyes. He was so thoughtful. "Are you sure though? I mean you haven't really met my parents yet." You were a little afraid of what they would think of him, considering the age gap between the two of you. It wasn't scandalous or anything but still. "Well now would be a good time don't you think?" There was that adorable smile of his, he knew you couldn't say no, and you really did want to see your dog one last time. So you nodded. "Alright. But be warned we are a weird family." You giggled. "Oh I know. I mean you alone are pretty weird." He was laughing softly. You gasped in fake shock and softly swatted his chest. "Don't worry I love you anyway." Steven gave you a soft kiss, making you melt against him. "So we are really going?" "Yep. You can skip classes?" "Sure won't be a problem." "Great then we can be there tomorrow. Wanna get some take out for now?" You eagerly nodded.

When you were laying in bed that night, cuddled close to Steven, who found a fan somewhere in his apartment, so the heat wouldn't be unbearable again. Your head resting on his bare chest. "You were right." "With what?" "That it is just a bad day not a bad life. Because I know with you at my side everything will be fine." Steven kissed your head softly. "Thank you for being there for me." You looked up at him. "Well that is my job isn't it?" "Not everyone would do that for their partner. I am very lucky to have you Steven. I love you." "I love you too darling." His voice held all the adoration he felt for you. You really were lucky to have him.

With your mind at rest now, you were able to fall asleep very fast. Steven still awake stroking over your back softly while looking at you. He could see your face relaxing. He hated to see you as upset as earlier. This was much better. Everything was going to be fine if you two would stay together he was sure of it.

[dem-obscure-imagines]

Unexpected and Unusual

Jedediah Smith x Reader

Fandom: Night at the Museum

Summary: While catching up with your old college friend, Larry, you learn he knows your soulmate. It’s not until you get to the museum, however, that you realize just how strange the circumstances surrounding your destiny are…

Note: Wow I’m actually pretty proud of this one. I missed writing for NatM and I’m always in the mood for a good soulmate au.

Warnings: Some swearing.

Word Count: 2.3k

Reader Is: Female

You looked down at the words written on your wrist and chuckled. You figured whoever your soulmate was must be an actor or something. Maybe you’d meet them at a Renaissance Festival or a dinner and theater type thing? Like Medieval Times, but for cowboys? You weren’t sure, but it seemed like it would be a memorable experience regardless.

Your phone buzzed and you reached to click off the alarm reminding you to head out if you wanted to make it to dinner with your friend Larry. The two of you had met in college and now he worked as a night guard at one of the museums in town. Therefore, you were having dinner a little earlier than you were used to, but you didn’t mind.

So, you grabbed your stuff and headed to the diner you and Larry used to go to in college sometimes. You ordered your usuals and started catching up.

“So…how are things at the museum lately? Any new exhibits?”

“Not since the last time you visited, no. Same old, same old. It’s pretty fun, though.”

“Isn’t it like…creepy? Being there all alone at night?” You asked. The thought of being in a building full of lifeless wax figures and statues and whatnot gave you the chills just thinking about it. Especially if it was dark. It didn’t seem like a fun gig, if you were honest.

“Nah, it’s not so bad.” Larry said. “I keep myself occupied.”

“Well, good for you, Larry. I’m glad you found something you enjoy, finally.”

“Yeah, me too. So what’s new with you? Any updates?”

“Nope. Boss is still a jerk, my classes for my master’s degree still suck, and I’m still not really sure what I’m doing with my thesis or…you know, what I want to do with the rest of my life.”

“Yeah, I feel that. But you’ll get there. I know you will. You’ll figure it out. You always were the clever one.”

“Heh, thanks. I needed to hear that.” You took a bite of a French fry.

“So no soulmate yet then, huh?” Larry asked.

“Yeah not yet…I’m pretty sure he’s an actor or something.”

Larry perked up. “Wait, you finally got your mark?”

“Few years ago, yeah.” You said, grinning and rolling up your sleeve to show him. “Seems like a fun guy, right?”

Larry stared for a long time, something akin to shock mixed with realization washing over his features. “Oh, you have no idea…”

You laughed, looking at him. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, I just…” Larry shrugged. “I think I might know him, is all.”

“Woah, you what? You know him? Who is he? What’s he like? Why does he…talk like that?”

“It’s kind of hard to explain…” He thought for a long moment, fighting with himself over something. “You know…why don’t you come to work with me? It might be easier to…well, to show you.”

“Are you sure? Is that allowed?”

Larry had a knowing look on his face. “Oh, I think they’ll make an exception.”

***

Once the two of you finished eating and paid the bill, you went to the museum together. It wasn’t too far away from the diner, close enough to walk, in fact. And it was a beautiful walk. You loved New York.

The sun wasn’t quite setting yet, but you suspected it would be soon. Larry told you that was usually when he went in, just before sunset. And so, once you got to the museum, you started looking around at the exhibits. You’d gone there a lot in college, mostly for research, but also partially because there were some nice quiet spots that were perfect to study in.

“Theodore Roosevelt, right?” You said, looking up at the wax replica of him, riding on his horse.

“Yep. 26th president of the United States.”

“When I was a kid, I always liked him because I liked Teddy bears and they were named after him.”

“I feel like he’d like that.” Larry smiled, laughing softly. “You should tell him that.”

You made a quizzical look and turned back to face him. “What?”

“Yeah, in about…” Larry glanced down at his watch and you watched him incredulously. “Three…two…one…”

“Lawrence, my boy! Good evening!” Said a voice behind you.

You whipped around and looked up at the moving (?) statue. Your eyes widened and you stared up at him as he climbed down off of his horse.

“And who might this beautiful young lady be?” Theodore offered his hand. “Theodore Roosevelt at your service.”

“I’m (Y/N).” You said slowly, shaking his hand and turning back towards Larry to mouth ‘What. The. Fuck.’

“I know, it’s kind of a lot.” Larry shrugged. “But you’ll get used to it.”

“Ah, Larry,” There was another voice, someone coming down from one of the upper levels. He was dressed all in gold, a luxurious cape billowing behind him. He stopped when he noticed you. “Oh, hello. I am Ahkmenrah, Fourth King of the Fourth Kings, ruler of the land of my fathers. And you are?”

“Ahk, this is (Y/N).” Larry looked at you and walked up to Ahk, cupping a hand around the Pharoah’s ear and whispering something that made him smile and laugh quietly to himself before nodding.

“Yes, I can do that.” Ahk nodded and offered his arm to you, which you took hesitantly. “Right this way. Larry wants me to show you where our, uh…little friends live.”

“Oh…alright?” You followed him through the corridors, heart racing as you ran through everything that had happened so far. Wait. If Larry wanted you to come here with him to see…all of this…did that mean…?

“Your first time, I presume?” Ahkmenrah asked, a kind and patient look on his face.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m hallucinating, actually.”

“Well, I must say, you are taking it very well. Some of the people Larry brings here tend to…faint upon seeing Theodore come to life.”

“Oh…well, I guess I’m glad I didn’t pass out, then.” You laughed. “Unless I did pass out and this is all a weird dream…”

Ahk chuckled softly. “Well, only time will tell, I suppose. Anyway, here we are.”

He stopped you in the doorway of a room that contained a few miniature exhibits. One looked like the old West complete with a mine and a railroad, and the other was a Roman city, filled with columns and gorgeous architecture.

Upon closer inspection, there were tiny little people moving about. People that you assumed had come to life like the rest of the museum.

Ahk leaned closer to you and spoke quietly, “Good luck,” before leading you into the room, and straight up to the western exhibit.

“Well, if it ain’t the King of Egypt himself! What brings you in here, partner?” Asked a tiny cowboy, reciting the words on your arm perfectly. He then looked up at you, his expression softening. “And who is this tall glass of water? Are you a friend of Gigantor’s?”

You stared at him, dumbfounded. Your heart raced and your legs felt wobbly. They said fate worked in funny ways, but this was…something else entirely. Now you felt woozy…

“I…think I’m gonna pass out.” You took a few steps back and leaned against the wall. “This isn’t possible.”

“Are you alright?” Ahk asked with concern, taking a few steps closer to you.

You nodded, but you weren’t so sure. Your soulmate, your freaking soulmate was a teeny, tiny cowboy about an inch and a half tall. How was that even possible? Why? How did the universe expect something like that to work out when he was literally the size of your pinkie finger?

You slowly slid down to the floor, taking deep breaths in an effort to get your heartrate back to normal.

“I’m going to get you some water.” Ahk announced. “Stay here.”

“Will do.” You nodded, watching as he left the room while you sat on the cold, tile floor.

Slowly, the tiny cowboy made his way across the floor towards you, careful not to make any sudden moves. When you saw him, though, your eyes widened slightly.

“Easy there. I ain’t tryin’ to scare you none. Are you alright?” He asked, his voice tentative and…nervous? Did he know who you were? Did he have a tiny little soulmark on his arm, too?

“Getting there.” You replied, looking down at him as he got closer and closer.

“I don’t know what to say to you to make you feel any better.” He admitted, his face earnest and somewhat sad. “I know it ain’t…” He shook his head and chuckled. “Well, I’m probably not what you were expecting.”

“I mean…you’re…right.” You nodded. This was ridiculous. Maybe you had passed out.

“I knew you probably wouldn’t take it well.” He shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck, holding up the arm you assumed had his mark on it. “And I wouldn’t expect you to, all things considered.”

“What’s your name?” You asked. It was crazy. It was. But…he was your soulmate, apparently, so…shouldn’t you at least give him a chance?

“I’m Jedediah. What’s yours?”

“(Y/N).”

“Beautiful name for a beautiful gal.” He asserted, causing you to smile, a blush rising to your cheeks. “See, there’s that smile I was waiting for. Breathtaking.” He took a few steps closer, still hesitant to get too close. “You think you’re gonna be alright?”

You nodded. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Good, good.” He exhaled in relief and put a tiny little hand on your calf. “Don’t worry, darling. You’re in good hands.”

As soon as he stopped touching you, the words on your arm started to glow a bright gold color, the light powerful, almost blinding.

“Woah.” You shielded your eyes with your hand, peering through your fingers to look at the letters. Looking down at Jed informed you that this was not a solo experience; his arm was glowing as well.

He wobbled in place, looking down at himself. “What in tarnation…?” He fell back on his little butt, and if you weren’t so confused and startled, you would have tried to help him up. However, as soon as you thought to move, something even stranger happened.

He started to grow.

It was slow at first, with Jed letting out a string of confused curses, but then, exponentially, he shot up until he was human-sized, sitting in front of you on the floor, looking up at you, and then at his own body, and then at you again.

“Holy fuck.” You stared at him for a long time. Now that you could actually make out his features clearly, you had to admit: he was handsome. “Um, hi.”

“Howdy.” He chuckled softly to himself, shaking his head. “They always did say fate works in mysterious ways, but I didn’t expect something like this.”

“Me either.”

“I’m sorry it took so long. The vending machine on this floor was out of water. How are you…” Ahkmenrah came into the room with a water bottle, but dropped it when he looked up and saw you sitting across from Jed at human size. “Oh.”

“Yeah, I ain’t sure either, twinkle toes.” Jed shrugged, getting to his feet. “Probably best not to question it.” Jed took your hands and helped you to your feet while Ahk grabbed the water bottle off of the floor, handing it to you.

“Thank you. For the water.” You said, twisting off the cap and taking a sip.

“Of course.”

“Hey, how are things going in here?” Larry walked in finally, deciding to check up on the situation. He stopped dead in his tracks, staring up at Jed with wide eyes. “Jed? That’s what you look like?”

“We’ve been friends for how long now, Gigantor, and you don’t know what I look like?”

“Well it’s hard to make out your face when you’re so…you know.” Larry shrugged. He looked at you. “You okay?”

“Better now, yeah.” You nodded.

“Okay, good. Because there’s a lot more where that came from.” Larry grinned, and you knew this was only the beginning of something very magical…

***

It didn’t take long to establish a routine. Every night about an hour before sundown, you would meet Larry at the museum. They let you do homework at the front desk on the condition you occasionally did little filing tasks like making copies or stapling things together. It wasn’t a bad gig.

Then, once the sun set, Teddy would come to life and greet you, followed by Rexy, who you’d learned to throw a bone for every once in a while, then Ahk would come down the stairs and greet you on his way to do whatever task he had decided to do for the evening. And then, finally, you’d hear the little electric hum of the yellow RC car Jed and Octavius were so fond of, approaching you slowly but surely.

“Howdy, darling. How are you tonight?” Jed asked, hopping out of the car.

“I’m doing good! How are you two doing?”

“I’m well, thank you for asking, (Y/N).” Oct nodded, smiling.

“And I am doing much better now.” Jed grinned.

You lowered the chain of paperclips you’d made and he grabbed on, letting you pull him upwards until he could grip the edge of the counter, which he did with ease, and then, once he was in position, it was time for your magic trick. You reached over and carefully poked his hand with your pointer finger and immediately, he shot up to human height, smiling down at you.

“I will never get sick of that.” He insisted, reaching out for your hand.

“Me either.” You slipped your hand into his, letting him pull you up from your seat and into the open room, where he effortlessly dipped you back, pressing his lips to yours in a passionate kiss. When he pulled you upright again, you leaned your forehead against his, grinning. “And I will never get sick of that.”

What you had with Jed wasn’t normal, by any means, but that didn’t matter. You finally found your soulmate. And you knew that every night for the rest of your life, you were in for the adventure of a lifetime.

[chaeiimimi]

HEY BUBS! I HOPE YOU’RE DOING GREAT, PART TWO WAS SUCH A BOMB AS WELL ALDJAKDJA I’M LOWKEY GETTING BABY FEVER ALREADY AT THIS POINT LMAO JK AKSJAKS IF YOU HAVE TIME, I’D LIKE TO REQUEST OSAMU / SUNA / OIKAWA / AKAASHI ALDHAKS ANY OF THEM WOULD BE FINE UWU 😫

HEY BUBS I’M SO SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY BFIWBFIWBF MY LIFE’S BEEN PRETTY CRAPPY LATELY, I’M GLAD YOU LIKED THE SECOD PART AAAAA STAY HAPPY AND HEALTHY BUBS ILY <3

Haikyuu Boys and a Single Mom Pt. 3

Featuring: Suna, Bokuto, Kenma

Suna Rintaro

despite being a professional volleyball player, Suna was still a university student, he evenly splits up his days to go to volleyball practice and university

he was always dreading to go to university, but he knew he needed it, and you, being his seating beside you in three classes, made university bearable

you had this amazing aura, always so gentle, and kind, you had a soft smile plastered on your face almost like a motherly smile, your voice was always calm and soft, you were just so breath-taking to look at

although you two never talked that much, Suna already knew a lot of little details about you, he once drove pass you walking to the kindergarten just one street away from your university, he knew that you carry a container of fruits in your bag, you always left as soon as classes for the day was over, and that was only a few among a hundred of little things about you

Suna admired you from afar, as much as he likes you so much it physically hurts him, love just wasn't his priority, his priority was volleyball and his career

or at least he thought

life surely has a great sense of humor because somehow you guys ended up being partners for a thesis paper

"I look forward to working with you Suna" you smiled

"likewise" he says with his usual blank face

Suna didn't want to admit it, but he was excited

"so, where do we work on this?" he asks looking at the notes he took for that class

"well, we can work on it at my place" you say casually while also looking at your notes

"are you sure it's okay?" he asks again to make sure, this girl, the person he's been crushing on for his two years in university is now inviting him to her place

"yeah, i can't really spend a lot of time outside, my son hates it" 

and just like that Suna was having a mini heart attack, you were married? you have a son? what-

“hey, you alright?” you asked worriedly

Suna quickly composed himself 

“uhh y-yeah, won’t your husband get angry?” he asks 

“oh don’t worry I raise Kiro by myself” you smiled

Suna looked at you strangely, unable to keep up 

you chuckled at his dazed look “I’m a single mother” 

Suna almost breathed out a sigh of relief, thankfully he was able to stop himself or else you would get the wrong idea

“yeah, yeah sure, let’s work on it at your place” he snapped out of it, did he sound too happy to hear that you were single? yes, but we ain’t gonna talk about that 

what was your ex thinking? he was pretty sure your kid was cute and you were so breath-taking to look at, what a stupid guy    

“what does your son likes?” 

“hm?” you asked him to make sure you heard him right 

“what does your son likes?” 

later in the evening, Suna showed up at your place with chocolate chip ice cream and the most expensive sushi he could find

you worked on your project for a good two hours, finalizing the outline of the thesis, while Kiro sat on Suna’s lap, your son immediately liked him, maybe because of the ice cream and sushi , but Kiro was very fond of him

“Kiro, baby, get off of Suna’s lap please he might get tired” you said to your son while you were keeping the things you used

“I don’t mind, he’s surprisingly light” Suna says as he bounces Kiro on his lap

“alright, if you say so, I’m going to prepare snacks” you made your way to the kitchen and left the two in the living room

“mister rin-rin” Kiro whispers while tugging on Suna’s shirt

“hm?” he answers looking at the kid, he was right, Kiro was extraordinarily adorable, it felt like he was looking at a smaller boy version of you and it was making her heart go feral, making him break his rules and try his best to get the both of you

“i want you to be my daddy” he whispers while fiddling with his fingers shyly

please this man is about to combust

he pats the boy’s head “sure bud” he said with a smile

“then can I call you dad?” he asks , eyes sparkling

“well it’s better to start early right? sure you can bud” he says, a full-blown grin plastered on his usually stoic face

Bokuto Koutaro 

the flashing and clicking of cameras occupied the whole room where the MSBY Jackals were holding their post-game press conference, they won the game by the way and Bokuto was in high spirits answering questions thrown at him by the reporters 

it was your turn to ask a question to the players and you stood up “Bokuto-san, your fans are always wondering why you’re always in high spirits, what is your secret?” 

Bokuto has never seen you before, were you a knew reporter? because damn he would’ve noticed you immediately if you were on their past press conferences, you looked like a celebrity to be quite honest 

“I’m playing volleyball, there’s no room for me to be unhappy” he simply says 

 it was you first day at your new job, quite frankly, you’re glad you quitted your old one, they forced you to stay behind the camera and write scripts for anchors when you finished a bachelor degree on broadcasting 

“Can’t blame him, I’m also happy when I do my job” you mumble to yourself as you remembered Bokuto’s answer to your question

“mama!” you looked at your son who was in the arms of your cousin Kuroo

“hey thanks for doing this for me couz” you say as they stopped right in front of you

“mama! have you seen the game?! they were so awesome! Uncle Tetsu promised me to go meet MSBY!” your son happily jolts in his Uncle’s arm

you looked at him with a motherly smile, happy that you’re son enjoyed the game 

“you coming with us?” Kuroo asked

“you two go ahead I’ll just rest for a bit” you were tired with keeping up with the game and asking questions 

the two nodded “alright, just show this to the guard and they’ll let you enter” Kuroo says, handing you a pass

you mutter a small thank you as you watch them walk away

let’s just say Gen, your son, was liked by every single member of the team, I mean, who could ever dislike such an adorable kid?

“MSBY cool! Shoyo pwaaa! Boto bam!” he says while jumping up and down, while Kuroo watched his nephew smiling

Bokuto was particularly very fond of him, was it because the kid was unbelievably adorable? or was it because the kid reminded him of a certain reporter? He’d like to think both

“Gen-kun who’s yer fav’rite player eh?” Atsumu asks the kid

the kid looked at eight full-grown man looking at him expectantly, his eyes stopped on the black-and-white haired spiker and made grabby hands towards him “BOUTO! BOUTO!” 

the members were disappointed but not surprised at all, kids tend to go to Bokuto or Hinata since they have the friendliest faces

“HEY! HEY! HEEEY!” Bokuto did not hesitate and lifted the boy up in the air, as they both giggle

“Tetsu?” your voice interrupted the commotion inside the room

Kuroo went to the door and opened it for you and the first thing you saw was your son giggling with the person stuck in your head for about twenty minutes now

“Mama!” your son screamed as soon as he saw you and asked to be put down to run towards you giving you a hug on your leg you looked down at him and patted his head gently

Kuroo cleared his throat “this is Y/N L/N my cousin, the mother of adorable the adorable Gen, she is single and ready to mingle, 2 in 1 you get an adorable son and a lovely wife, contact me for more details, the price can be discussed” 

you deadpanned at your cousin, why tf was he selling you like an auction, you shook your head 

you were hyper aware of the intensity of the owl-eyed spiker, making you blush

while Bokuto was over here thinking, damn he hit the jackpot an adorable son and an absolutely gorgeous wife? you bet he’s in and he’s gonna do everything he can to win you and make you and your son happy

“I’m sorry about him, please excuse me, my son and I needs to leave” you said politely and bowed as you take your son away

unbeknownst to you, Bokuto was in the middle of business with your cousin

“hey, how much for the details?” Bokuto whispers to his bestfriend as if they were in the middle of an illegal transaction

Kuroo looked at his friend with eyebrows raised

“I’ll pay any amount” Bokuto was very serious, which made the former Nekoma captain burts out laughing

“well, since you’re my good friend, a few drinks will do” Kuroo after his hyena laugh session

“Hey! hey! hey! thanks Kubroo!” Bokuto says in his usual cheery voice

later that night, you wondered why you were having dinner with your son, your cousin, and the former captain of Fukurodani, how he managed to get you flowers in such a short amount of time and this late at night was beyond your knowledge. But you weren’t complaining though, how could you when he looked adorable with a flushed face asking for your number after driving you and your son home.

Kenma Kozume

Kenma wasn’t fond of kids, he didn’t disliked them, he just preferred hanging out with adults who were less hyper, proceeds to hangout with Bokuto, Hinata and Kuroo

but he was a gamer and it is inevitable that some of his fans were kids, he didn’t mind it though he is thankful to each and everyone of his fans

being the twenty-eight year old youtuber/CEO that he is, he barely have time to go out and it happened very rarely, and today happened to be one of those rare occasions as he got out to get some ice cream in a very hot summer day

but he was in a for surprise, at an empty alley, he heard a ruckus

“give it back! please give it back!” 

it was never in Kenma’s personality to pry, but something was pushing him to go check out what was going on

he went inside to the dark alley and saw four boys, about eight years old, one was in the middle, his clothes all crumpled and dirty, his bag empty, his things sprawled out, scattered in front of him

“you want this thing? it’s not even the latest model, you think kodzu-” 

Kenma cleared his throat, already able to register what was happening

“ken” the bully continued

“you know kids, I don’t really like bullies” Kenma starts as he walks towards the little boy, picking up his scattered things one by one and putting it in his bag

“leave, before I report you to your school” Kenma says stoically which made one of the boys drop the game console in his hand as the three of them scramble to get out of the dark alley

the little boy picked up the game console and tried to open it, but to no avail, it was broken

Kenma went closer as he handed him his bag 

“are you okay?” he asked as he crouch down to the boy’s level, it was obvious that he was not okay, his face had little scratches and his clothes were all dirty and slightly damped 

but the little boy meekly nodded and looked down on his game console, which Kenma noticed 

“I can get you a new one” he says in attempt to cheer up the little boy, he didn’t know what was pushing him to do so, but his heart broke at the sight of him broke his heart 

“mister Kodzuken, can you please get this fixed for me instead?” for the first time, the boy looked at him with sad eyes

how could he say no to that face? he took the game console and looked at the boy

“is there a reason why you want me to fix it?” he asks

“my mom worked hard to get me that on my birthday, she didn’t buy her favorite coffee, her favorite bread, she patched up her shoes instead of buying a new one, she even lied to me that she wasn’t hungry when we ate out, I don’t wanna make her sad” the boy sadly said and wore his bag

Kenma was in awe, no wonder this boy was so polite and respectful

“alright, how but I’ll call your mother now, she is needed in this situation” Kenma says as he takes out his phone

the boy slowly dictates his mom’s phone number, and when he was done, Kenma was speechless, the number was already registered as his secretary’s number

Kenma shakily presses the call button

“sir?” your voice from the other line, never seize to make his heart skip a beat

“Y/n do you happen to have a son?” his voice was still calm

“yes, how did you know sir? i have a son he’s name is Eiji, he’s eight” you happily told him

“well, I kinda caught some kids bullying him, I think that you’re needed here” he says calmly 

“oh no, my baby, i’ll be there ASAP sir, please do send the location”

“I’ll send the location to my driver, he’ll pick you up” Kenma says and hangs up as he send a quick messege and the location to his driver

Kenma was supposed to ask you out tomorrow, that was the reason why he didn’t go to the office today, he was going to surprise you at his place because he didn’t want you, the girl he liked to the horrible people of the internet

you were too pure, too kind, you always made sure to get him something to eat despite his resistance, made sure that he doesn’t overwork himself and even going to the extent where you do some of his workloads, of course he trusted you enough to do so and you’ve been working with him for four years now

but you had a child? did you have a husband? but you’re resume said that you were single? is it a boyfriend?

“you know mister Kodzuken, mama always talks about you when I ask her about her day, I think she’s got a little crush on you” Eiji smiled softly at him

which almost made the former setter melt into a puddle, the boy was adorable, and even if his original plan was to just date you, he was more than happy to have Eiji, having a mini you around made it all even better, he wasn’t fond of kids but the little boy infront of him was an exception

“I think, I can make that happen” he smiles softly

the day after you appeared looking distressed, talked to your son’s bullies and their parents at the school’s principal office with Kenma and Eiji seating beside you, you were now inside your boss’ house, he was asking you to be his girlfriend, your son happily jumping up and down beside him

how could you say no, when four years ago, you were only dreaming of this moment? 

[writingonesdreams]

Happy sts to you, Dreams ^^ I hope you're having a lovely one. I don't have a specific question for you this week, so consider this your free pass to ramble about whatever writing-related has been on your mind recently, and also, to take a page from your book, may I have an update on how your writing is going? :D

Hehe update question, why not :D

I have actually two new characters as you might have noticed. Juno, fellow researcher and earth elemental and Cameron, from the international dragon management who will play an interesting contrast to Zephyr for Skye and be important for Zephyr's arc as a whole. I have been gathering and writing down quotes for their scenes all week, hadn't yet had time to write them down in full yet cause exams. But the exam from literary theory I'm taking is proving to be quite entertaining and inspiring on it's own. There are actually researchers for pop culture and genre defining books like Twilight and Hunger Games? And schemas fantasy follows, with four most well-known? This is great food for the thesis I'll be writing this semester.

I'm also coming to terms Zephyr's character might be better of telling me what it wants to be like himself, and through my unconscious decisions about him instead of conscious ones, cause when I overanalyze him I just give myself a headache. Someone remind me of that in my next Zepnyr related crisis XD. But like I found this movie series Hornblower about this rising ship captain in the navy and he is so heroic, noble, moral, polite, strict with himself...and so obsessed with all those heroic ideals, keeping his word, the greater causes it's hilarious and reminds me of Zephyr. I think he could nicely manifest the greater good and heroic ideals arguments - to show their charm and also their pitfalls. I hate the greater good argument personally, but he could be a good OC to explore and subvert it with.

I always struggled with making my OCs flawed in case they were too imperfect, cause if a flaw went too far I was the one to stop liking them XD. Is what I can't stand writing villains or abhorrent behavior. But recent debates with Nectar kinda made me realize that the fun aspect could come above the relatablity aspect and if I focus more on the dissonance between characters and myself and what I consider right and perfect...I would have much more freedom. To let my OCs do some questionable and nasty things. Maybe get called out on them, maybe not.

As much for plot stuff. Unrelated to that I found out about Sicktember and Whumptober and I'm considering writing this mini series of hurt/comfort moments for my cast just for myself (since I don't know if and where to post it anyway). The lack of plot and higher meaning for these fascinating self-indulgent instances still worries me, plus there is also the factor of how much do you have to know and care about a character before you enjoy seeing them suffer or get comforted? But I gathered a prompt list and scene ideas, so maybe it will work. Or maybe it will work better once I introduce Kieran and Cameron properly (do those two names sound too similar in English? They look different enough written, but I'm not sure and I hate similar names. Terror of storytelling experience brr).

Ha, look at that, I rumbled quite a bit. Hehe this question will work for me, I always have some weird writing thoughts going on XD.

Thanks for asking!

[matriarchsdevotee-archive]

4. which muse of yours is your all time favorite? if you stopped writing them: why?

Munday Questions - Not Accepting

Ohhhh god that's a hard question. Everytime I think I settle on one another pokes their head out and reminds me of a thread or partner I had with them that I adored.

I'm going to have to split the difference between the Thenardiers and Mrs. Lovett (the Thenardiers shared an account so yes they function as one muse for the purpose of this answer shhhh)

The Thenardiers are just the right level of bastard, and Les Miz has played a huge part in my academic and personal lives. My undergrad thesis was on the villains of Les Miserables. Two of my best in show cosplay awards were Les Miz characters - hell, one was a genderbent M. Thenardier from the 2012 movie I need to remake that bumblebee suit someday.

I stopped writing them for a myriad of reasons. I was losing muse in general, I had taken on the worst job of my life and it took all of my energy just to survive a lot of the time, the les miz community was very quiet, and I'd done a lot with M. and Mme T as it was. I may come back to them one day (Anything's possible, I never thought I'd touch roleplay again after my last hiatus), but I'd probably need a lot more rpc support that was interested in them. I still met some of my best friends through those bastards, so they hold a soft spot in my heart.

Mrs. Lovett is the opposite of the Thenardiers in a lot of ways. She was my first canon character and my second character overall after a very teen phantom of the opera OC. She changed so much over my playing her - in some form or another, I played her continuously for 9 years (?). Helena Bonham Carter was a huge inspiration to me when I was a teen and something about her Mrs. Lovett was the perfect mix of sympathetic and absolute lunacy that appealed to me. I worked out a lot of angst through her, a lot of pessimism about my future. In some ways she was a self-insert, but to those interested and familiar with the Sweeney Todd rpc, I made myself remarkably unpopular by not shipping her with Sweeney. I won't go into an essay here, but I thought it was very clear that all she wanted was a better life by any means necessary - Sweeney just happened to be a very convenient ends to a mean.

I stopped playing her for similar reasons as listed above, with the note that I stopped playing her around the same time I stopped role playing publicly in 2019. Life was really hard at the time and I got stuck in a bunch of mutual drama (I've since reconnected and made up with many of them, but I was still put off on the whole). When last I left her, she'd gotten into a long term relationship with Erik de Carpentier (Phantom of the opera, long story) which was so cheesy and came full circle for me as a roleplayer, so I think I'm content letting her have her happily ever after.

[kmclaude]

Forgive me Father, I have no awful headcanons for you, only a general question on comic making. How do you do it, writing-wise/how do you decide what points go where, how do you plot it out (or do you have any resources on the writing aspect that you find useful?) Not to get too bogged down in details, but I attended a writer’s workshop and the author in residence suggested I transfer my wordy sci-fi WIP into graphic novel script, as it might work better. (I do draw, but I don’t know if I have it in me to draw a whole comic—characters in motion? Doing things? With backgrounds? How dare, why can’t everyone just stand around looking pretty)

I was interested but it quickly turned into a lot of internal screaming as I tried to figure out how to compress the hell out of it, since novels are free to do a lot more internal monologuing and such compared to a comic format (to say nothing of trying to write a script without seeing how the panels lay out—just for my own sake, I might have to do both concurrently.)

As an aside, to get a feel for graphic novels I was rereading 99RM and was reminded of how great it was—tightly plotted, intriguing, and anything to do with Ashmedai was just beautifully drawn. I need more Monsignor Tiefer and something something there are parallels between Jehan and Daniel in my head and I don’t know if they make sense but it works for me. (As an aside, I liked the emphasis on atonement being more than just the word sorry, but acknowledgment you did wrong and an attempt to remedy it—I don’t know why that spoke to me the way that it did.)

I thought Tumblr had a word count limit for asks but so far it has offered zero resistance, oh well. I don’t have much else to say but on the topic of 99RM, Adam getting under Monsignor’s skin is amazing, 10/10 (about the Pride picture earlier)

wow tumblr got rid of the markdown editor! or at least in asks which means the new editor probably has no markdown....god i hate this site! anyway...

Totally! So first, giant thank you for the compliments! Second, I have a few questions in turn for you before I dive into a sort of answer, since I can give some advice to your questions in general but it also sounds like you have a specific conundrum on your hands.

My questions to your specific situation are:

did the author give any reason for recommending a, in your words, "wordy" story be turned into a graphic novel?

is the story you're writing more, like you said, "internal monologuing"? action packed? where do the visuals come from?

do you WANT it to be a comic? furthermore, do you want it to be a comic you then must turn around and draw? or would you be interested in writing for comics as a comic writer to have your words turned into art?

With those questions in mind, let me jump into the questions you posed me!

Let me start with a confession...

I've said this before but let me say it again: Ninety-Nine Righteous Men was not originally a comic — it was a feature-length screenplay! And furthermore, it was written for a class so it got workshopped again and again to tighten the plot by a classroom of other nerds — so as kind as your compliments are, I'm giving credit where credit is due as that was not just a solo ship sailing on the sea. On top of that, it got adapted (by me) into a comic for my thesis, so my advisor also helped me make it translate or "read" well given I was director, actor, set designer, writer, editor, SFX guy, etc. all in one. And it was a huge help to have someone say "there is no way you can go blow by blow from script to comic: you need to make edits!" For instance, two scenes got compressed to simple dialogue overlaid on the splashpage of Ashmedai raping Caleb (with an insert panel of Adam and Daniel talking the next day.) What had been probably at least 5 pages became 1.

Additionally, I don't consider myself a strong plotter. That said, I found learning to write for film made the plotting process finally make some damn sense since the old plot diagram we all got taught in grammar school English never made sense as a reader and definitely made 0 sense as a writer — for me, for some reason, the breakdown of 25-50-25 (approx. 25 pages for act 1, 50 for act 2 split into 2 parts of 25 each, 25 pages for act 3) and the breaking down of the beats (the act turning points, the mid points, the low point) helped give me a structure that just "draw a mountain, rising action, climax is there, figure it out" never did. Maybe the plot diagram is visually too linear when stories have ebb and flow? I don't know. But it never clicked until screenwriting. So that's where I am coming from. YMMV.

I should also state that there's Official Ways To Write Comic Scripts to Be Drawn By An Artist (Especially If You Work For A Real Publisher As a Writer) and there's What Works For You/Your Team. I don't give a rat's ass about the former (and as an artist, I kind of hate panel by panel breakdowns like you see there) so I'm pretty much entirely writing on the latter here. I don't give a good god damn about official ways of doing anything: what works for you to get it done is what matters.

What Goes Where?

Like I said, 99RM was a screenplay so it follows, beat-wise, the 3-act screenplay structure (hell, it's probably more accurate to say it follows the act 1/act 2A/act 2B/act 3 structure.) So there was the story idea or concept that then got applied to those story beats associated with the structure, and from there came the Scene-by-scene Breakdown (or Expanded Scene Breakdown) which basically is an outline of beats broken down into individual scenes in short prose form so you get an overview of what happens, can see pacing, etc. In the resources at the end I put some links that give information on the whole story beat thing.

(As an aside: for all my short comics, I don't bother with all that, frankly. I usually have an image or a concept or a bit of writing — usually dialogue or monologue, sometimes a concrete scene — that I pick at and pick at in a little sketchbook, going back and forth between writing and thumbnail sketches of the page. Or I just go by the seat of my pants and bullshit my way through. Either or. Those in many ways are a bit more like poems, in my mind: they are images, they are snapshots, they are feelings that I'm capturing in a few panels. Think doing mental math rather than writing out geometric proofs, yanno?)

Personally, I tend to lean on dialogue as it comes easier for me (it's probably why I'm so drawn to screenwriting!) so for me, if I were to do another longform GN, I'd probably take my general "uhhhhhh I have an idea and some beats maybe so I guess this should happen this way?" outline and start breaking it down scene by scene (I tend to write down scenes or scene sketches in that "uhhhh?" outline anyway LOL) and then figure out basic dialogue and action beats — in short, I'd kind of do the work of writing a screenplay without necessarily going full screenplay format (though I did find the format gave me an idea of timing/pacing, as 1 page of formatted script is about equal to 1 minute of screentime, and gave me room to sketch thumbnails or make edits on the large margins!) If you're not a monologue/soliloque/dialogue/speech person and more an image and description person, you may lean more into visuals and scenes that cut to each other.

Either way this of course introduces the elephant in the panel: art! How do you choose what to draw?

The answer is, well, it depends! The freedom of comics is if you can imagine it, you can make it happen. You have the freedoms (and audio limitations) of a truly silent film with none of the physical limitations. Your words can move in real time with the images or they can be a narrative related to the scene or they could be nonsequitors entirely! The better question is how do you think? Do you need all the words and action written first before you break down the visuals? Do you need a panel by panel breakdown to be happy, or can you freewheel and translate from word and general outlines to thumbnails? What suits you? I really cannot answer this because I think when it comes to what goes where with regard to art, it's a bit of "how do you process visuals" and also a bit of "who's drawing this?" — effectively, who is the interpreter for the exact thing you are writing? Is it you or someone else? If it's you, would you benefit from a barebones script alongside thumbnailed paneling? Would you be served by a barebones script, then thumbnails, then a new script that includes panel and page breakdowns? What frees you up to do what you need to do to tell your story?

If I'm being honest, I don't necessarily worry about panels or what something will look like necessarily until I'm done writing. I may have an image that I clearly state needs to happen. I may even have a sequence of panels that I want to see and I do indeed sketch that out and make note of it in my script. But exactly how things will be laid out, paneled, situated? That could change up until I've sketched my final pencils in CSP (but I am writer and artist so admittedly I get that luxury.)

How do I compress from novel to comic?

Honest answer? You don't. Not really. You adapt from one to another. It's more a translation. Something that would take forever to write may take 1 page in a comic or may take a whole issue.

I'm going to pick on Victor Hugo. Victor Hugo spent a whole-ass book in Notre-Dame de Paris talking about a bird's eye view of Paris and other medieval architecture boring stuff, with I guess some foreshadowing with Montfaucon. Who cares. Not me. I like story. Anyway. When we translate that book to a movie any of the billion times someone's done that, we don't spend a billion years talking at length about medieval Paris. There's no great monologuing about the gibbet or whatever: you get to have some establishing shots, maybe a musical number, and then you move tf on. Because it's a movie, right? Your visuals are right there. We can see medieval Paris. We can see the cathedral. We can see the gibbet. We don't need a whole book: it's visually right there. Same with a comic: you may need many paragraphs to describe, say, a space station off of Sirius and one panel to show it.

On the flip side, you may take one line, maybe two, to say a character keyed in the special code to activate the holodeck; depending on the visual pacing, that could be a whole page of panels (are we trying to stretch time? slow it down? what are we emphasizing?) A character gives a sigh of relief — one line of text, yeah? That could be a frozen panel while a conversation continues on or that could be two (or more!) panels, similar to the direction [a beat] in screenwriting.

Sorry there's not a super easy answer there to the question of compression: it's a lot more of a tug, a push-pull, that depends on what you're conveying.

So Do I Have It In Me to Write & Draw a GN?

The only way you'll know is by doing. Scary, right? The thing is, you don't necessarily need to be an animation king or God's gift to background artists to draw a comic.

Hell, I hate backgrounds. I still remember sitting across from my friend who said "Claude you really need to draw an establishing exterior of the church at some point" and me being like "why do you hate me specifically" because drawing architecture? Again? I already drew the interior of the church altar ONCE, that should be enough, right? But I did draw an exterior of the church. Sorta. More like the top steeple. Enough to suggest what I needed to suggest to give the audience a better sense of place without me absolutely losing my gourd trying to render something out of my wheelhouse at the time.

And that's kinda the ticket, I think. Not everyone's a master draftsman. Not everyone has all the skills in every area. And regardless, from page one to page one hundred, your skills will improve. That's all part of it — and in the meantime, you should lean into your strengths and cheat where you can.

Do you need to lovingly render a background every single panel? Christ no! Does every little detail need to be drawn out? Sure if you want your hand to fall off. Cheat! Use Sketchup to build models! Use Blender to sculpt forms to paint over! Use CSP Assets for prebuilt models and brushes if you use CSP! Take photographs and manip them! Cheat! Do what you need to do to convey what you need to convey!

For instance, a tip/axiom/"rule" I've seen is one establishing shot per scene minimum and a corollary to that has been include a background once per page minimum as grounding (no we cannot all have eternal floating heads and characters in the void. Unless your comic is set in the void. In which case, you do you.) People ain't out here drawing hyper detailed backgrounds per each tiny panel. The people who DO do that are insane. Or stupid. Or both. Or have no deadline? Either way, someone's gonna have a repetitive stress injury... Save yourself the pain and the headache. Take shortcuts. Save your punches for the big K.O. moments.

Start small. Make an 8-page zine. Tell a beginning, a middle, an end in comic form. Bring a scene to life in a few pages. See what you're comfortable drawing and where you struggle. See where you can lean heavily into your comfort zones. Learn how to lean out of your comfort zone. Learn when it's worth it to do the latter.

Or start large. Technically my first finished comic (that wasn't "a dumb pencil thing I drew in elementary school" or "that 13 volume manga I outlined and only penciled, what, 7 pages of in sixth grade" or "random one page things I draw about my characters on throw up on the interwebz") was 99RM so what do I know. I'm just some guy on the internet.

(That's not self-deprecating, I literally am some guy on the internet talking about my path. A lot of this is gonna come down to you and what vibes with you.)

Resources on writing

Some of these are things that help me and some are things that I crowd-sourced from others. Some of these are going to be screenwriting based, some will be comic based.

Making Comics by Scott McCloud: I think everyone recommends this but I think it is a useful book if you're like "ahh!!! christ!! where do I start!!!???" It very much breaks down the elements of comics and the world they exist in and the principles involved, with the caveat that there are no rules! In fact, I need to re-read it.

Comic Book Design: I picked this up at B&N on a whim and in terms of just getting a bird's eye view of varied ways to tackle layout and paneling? It's such a great resource and reference! I personally recommend it as a way to really get a feel for what can be done.

the screenwriter's bible: this is a book that was used in my class. we also used another book that's escaping me but to be honest, I never read anything in school and that's why I'm so stupid. anyway, I'd say check it out if you want, especially if you start googling screenwriting stuff and it's like 20 billion pieces of advice that make 0 sense -- get the core advice from one place and then go from there.

Drawing Words & Writing Pictures: many people I know recommended this. I think I have it? It may be in storage. So frankly, I'd already read a bunch of books on comics before grabbing this that it kind of felt like a rehash. Which isn't shade on the authors — I personally was just a sort of "girl, I don't need comics 101!!!"

Invisible Ink: A Practical Guide to Building Stories that Resonate: this has been recommended so many times to me. I cannot personally speak on it but I can say I do trust those who rec'd it to me so I am passing it along

the story circle: this is pretty much the hero's journey. a useful way to think of journeys! a homie pretty much swears by it

a primer on beats: quick google search got me this that outlines storybeats

save the cat!: what the above refers to, this gives a more genre-specific breakdown. also wants to sell you on the software but you don't need that.

I hope this helps and please feel free to touch base with more info about your specific situation and hopefully I'll have more applicable answers.