#have to remember to tell my dad about it because that��s dope and weird timing

[littlemisswolfie]

Hope That You Fall In Love (And It Hurts So Bad) Part II

<Part I

Here’s part two! There was actually a much larger gap between these updates on ao3 since I just now remembered to post part one here today, so don’t expect part three to come any time too soon. Hope y’all enjoy!

If you have sensitive triggers, follow the ao3 link and read the end notes. I wasn’t personally triggered by anything I wrote, but I have no idea what triggers my readers, and your safety is paramount, so I may have over-warned.

AO3

Langa doesn’t feel anything about moving back to Japan.

He doesn’t feel anything in general, anymore. He knows he should feel something. This is the country he was created in, where he was tortured and trained before he could speak, where he met his mom for the first time in the hospital ward of his prison. But Japan isn’t really anything to him. It’s not a nightmare, because Okinawa, with its sun and warmth, is nothing like Teiko’s stale, cold walls, but it’s not home, because home is Canada, is mountains and snow and Canada Day fireworks and his dad.

He puts the letter his dad wrote him—still unopened—in the back of his sock drawer.

Okinawa isn’t anything.

Langa isn’t anything.

“Do you want to meet them?” his mom asks, a few days after they move into their small apartment. 

She doesn’t have to clarify who “them” are. “No,” he says. “I never knew them well. They probably don’t remember me.”

The Miracles are all adults. They have families, lovers, jobs and friends and lives. Langa doesn't have anything to say to people he hasn’t seen in ten years, and they wouldn’t benefit from knowing he’s alive, so he doesn’t care. 

*

High school isn’t compulsory in Japan, but he attends anyway, because he knows it will make his mom happy. She has enough on her plate, with a new job and having to make new friends, so he has to make this transition as easy as possible for her. 

She’s given up enough for him already. 

Sitting at his new desk at his new school with his classmates all pretending not to stare at him, he decides to get a part time job.

*

He’s on edge the entire time he’s sitting across from Sakurayashiki. He knows, logically, that a lot of people in Japan have started dying their hair to support the Miracles, so this grown man who has an affinity for technology having pink hair doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a Pink Two, especially since Pink Twos were predominantly designed female and his eyes are gold instead of pink, but he still hates the idea. 

He’s not GI-B423 anymore. He doesn’t want to be associated with Teiko.

When Sakurayashiki rejects his job application, he’s kind of relieved.

*

He leaves the calligraphy studio and meets Kyan Reki.

*

Reki is everything Langa isn’t. He’s bright and happy and loud. 

Back in Canada, people like this used to annoy Langa. Too noisy, too close, too much. But Reki is never overwhelming. He’s excited, like a puppy, and he’s genuine. Langa can’t help but be drawn into his orbit, like he’s a planet and Reki is the sun.

Ah, he thinks, in that part of his mind that never really left Teiko. He’s mine.

He lets Reki chatter in his ear about skateboarding and watches him work in his workshop and is—not happy, but content, for the first time since his dad got sick.

*

Skateboarding at S isn’t exactly what awakens that thrill Langa has always craved. It’s similar enough to snowboarding that Langa can let  his body take over for a majority of the beef, so that certainly helps, but it’s not the thing.

The thing is the unpredictability. 

He should probably feel concerned about that, about how the danger makes his heart race, how Shadow’s aggressiveness thrills him to his bones. It’s a Teiko thing, so he shouldn’t enjoy it, but he does. 

“How did you do that?” Reki asks him later as he helps Langa peel the duct tape from his feet. “That was crazy, man!” His eyes are shining, and Langa thinks, I did that. 

“I used to snowboard,” he says, instead of I was genetically engineered and trained for the first five years of my life to be an assassin but I never developed my powers.

Reki grins. “This is gonna be so awesome.”

*

Langa learns how to skateboard fast.

When Reki comments on how quick he’s learning, he gives his teaching all the credit, even though he knows it’s not exactly true. His mom doesn’t tell him much about how Teiko designed him, but he can read between the lines. He’s never had to work as hard to learn new things as the kids around him, particularly if they had a physical element. He’s more observant than usual, and it’s harder to scare him than it should be. 

He could easily make up some other excuse, like his past in snowboarding, but the way Reki’s face lights up when Langa compliments him is too good to pass up. 

*

His mother has never been good at hiding her emotions, which Langa finds more than a little ironic, considering she came to be his mom by working in a secret lab.

After the absolute roller coaster of emotions he sees on her face when she brings up the scrapes he’s been getting from skating, he takes pity on her and tells her what he’s been getting up to. The smile she gives him in response is one he hasn’t seen on her in a long time.

“Oh, baby,” she says, actual tears in the corners of her eyes, “I’m glad you found such a good friend.”

*

Reki’s friendship isn’t limited to skating.

Langa, privately, would have been content even if it were. It would only mean he spent more time skating than he usually would. But Reki seems to genuinely enjoy spending time with him. He gets Langa to do his English homework for him in return for writing out Langa’s notes and homework in his neater handwriting, they spend their lunches together on the rooftop, Reki gets him a job at Dope Sketch, and, well… 

They’re just always together.

Even better, Reki is a very touchy person. It’s unconscious, most of the time, like he can’t help it. A brush against his arm here, a nudge at his side there, an arm thrown around his shoulders while they walk together.

The contact makes him feel alive.

*

He beats Miya, but only just barely. Miya has years more experience than him, and it’s only due to his unconventional skating that he gets the upper hand. The idea of losing… it’s just—unacceptable. Because losing means scrapping. Losing means death.

The way Miya reacts to the loss reminds him of Teiko, so he says, “I had fun. Let’s skate again,” to make that terrified expression disappear. And then Reki starts messing with him, teasing him like an affectionate older brother, and, for a moment, it seems like the night will end there, without any additional fuss.

But then Adam shows up.

*

Adam, even with his blue hair and eyes hidden behind a mask, reminds Langa of a Red Zero. He’s obviously a man used to getting his own way, and that silky smooth tone in his voice when he make innocuous little statements belies the ugly nature underneath. He’s a sociopath. The only reason he knows he’s not a Red Zero with dyed hair is that he feels no compulsion to do what he says. In fact, he feels nothing—

Until he insults Reki and Miya.

“Hey,” Reki says, sounding angry, which Langa has never heard before, “take what you said back.”

Adam, who was about to touch Langa’s leg, straightens, a dangerous smile on his lips. “And what if I said I wouldn’t?”

If Langa were better with his words, he would warn Reki. No, he would say, he’s too dangerous, it’s too risky for you, but he can’t find his voice to say it, so Reki kicks up his board and challenges Adam to a beef.

*

“Sorry about that,” Reki says, later, as they skate home from Crazy Rock. “Betting you, I mean.”

“It’s fine,” says Langa, because he can’t say that means I’m yours to bet without making this whole situation even more strange than it already is.

*

They run into Joe at a ramen shop the next day. His green hair sets Langa off a little again, but Joe is nothing like a Green Seven, so he forces himself to relax a little and listen to the older man’s advice. 

“When did you start dyeing your hair?” Langa asks when Joe stands up to leave.

Reki and Joe both startle a little at the question, like they hadn’t expected him to say anything about it. “Well, me and Cherry were in high school when that Special Diet happened, so we dyed our hair out of support, and I guess the colors just kinda stuck.”

“Man,” Reki says, leaning forward onto the counter after Joe leaves. “It’s so weird to think about the Miracles as adults, y’know? They’re not in the news very much anymore.”

“The Yellow is,” Langa says.

“‘Yellow?’” Reki looks confused.

“Oh, sorry, ‘yellow.’ I used the English word on accident.”

“Oh, cool. Sometimes I think about your shitty handwriting and forget you’re bilingual.” Reki gives him a friendly poke in the side. “But, yeah, that yellow one’s a model, right? Of course he’d be in the news every once in a while. Oh, plus the red one’s adopted father has been petitioning for same-sex marriage to be legalized in Japan for a while now, so I guess you hear about him sometimes, huh? When did you start dyeing your hair?”

“I’ve never dyed it,” Langa says, looking down at the empty bowl in front of him. “My hair has always been this color.”

“Huh. Weird.” Reki shrugs and reaches into his pocket to pull his wallet out. “Joe was trying to be nice, but we still gotta pay.”

Langa’s grateful for the end of the conversation. He knows he’ll have to tell Reki someday, if they remain friends, but the longer he can put it off, the better.

*

Miya drags them and Shadow out to Crazy Rock for some practical training. It hurts to see Reki so frustrated with his own abilities when Langa knows how good he is. Reki shouldn’t be measuring himself  up against people like him, who have superhuman gifts, or Miya, who trains as much as he’s in school to make the national team, or Shadow and Joe and Cherry, who are all adults and have been skating for so much longer than he has. 

Someday, Reki, Langa thinks, someday you’ll realize how special you are.

Langa skates down a little further to grab Reki’s board when it gets away from him to let Reki rest a little, and tries to do the Love Hug Miya mentioned. Reki is quick to reassure him that there’s no way to actually go uphill, but Langa still feels uneasy. 

He knows there’s a way. There has to be. He just hasn’t figured it out yet.

At least he gets to go to A&W afterwards. He’s been missing poutine.

*

Langa wishes there was something he could say that would help Reki when he picks him up for the beef.

Your worth isn’t determined by skateboarding.

Don’t be discouraged if you lose.

Please be careful.

But none of those things would be helpful. Not really. Even if he could say them in Japanese the way he wants to in English, they would still sound condescending, like Langa didn’t believe in him.

So he says nothing.

*

Adam does the Love Hug.

Reki goes flying.

Langa sees red.

“I can finally skate with you,” Adam says, sounding enthralled, almost orgasmic, and the only thing Langa can think about is how easy it would be to kill him for what he did to Reki. It wouldn’t take much. Just enough pressure on the throat. A fall off Crazy Rock. A sharp stone to the jugular or the temple. Langa could make it look like an accident, he’s sure. He got more than enough training to do that much on a small scale like this. And even if he did get caught, hey, at least he would have had revenge for injuring Reki.

But Reki is still alive. Reki needs a hospital more than he needs Langa to kill Adam. 

He’ll get his revenge in a beef.

*

“Please,” Reki says, over and over again. “Don’t race against Adam.”

“I’m going to do it, Reki,” Langa says, just this side of a snap. “Stop trying to convince me otherwise.”

“Look, I appreciate it if you’re pissed about my injury—” And oh, he is, he hates seeing Reki’s arm in that cast, he hates that he had to wait in a hospital again when he last time he had to do that his dad was dying— “but Adam’s really on a whole ‘nother level. You’re crazy good, dude, but he’s just crazy.”

“I’m doing it.” He takes a large bite out of his sandwich, and it must be aggressive enough, because Reki backs off, at least for now.

*

“Mom?” Langa says over dinner that night, one of her few nights off from the hospital. 

She’s at attention immediately, which Langa feels a little guilty about. He knows he really shut her out after his dad died, and now every time he speaks, she acts like she’s never heard his voice before. “Yes, honey? What is it?”

“What—” He takes a deep breath, in through the nose, out through the mouth. “What all did Teiko give me?”

Her eyes harden in a way they so rarely do that it catches Langa off guard. “Nothing,” she says, vicious. “They didn’t give you anything, baby. They gave you nightmares and trauma, and that’s it.”

“There were files!” Langa says, voice raising. He didn’t mean to do that, but it’s happening now, so he has to let it go. “There must have been! And you were a nurse, so you had to have seen them!”

His mom slams her hands down on the table. “That is enough,” she says. “I’ve had a long day, and I’m not talking about this right now.” She stands up, clears her plate, and stomps into her room, closing the door behind her.

Langa groans, pushes his hair out of his face, and grabs his skateboard.

*

He, Reki, Shadow, Miya, and Cherry take over Joe’s Italian restaurant later that night, and as Langa watches Cherry demonstrate how the Love Hug works, something clicks in his brain.

I can do this, he thinks. I can beat the Love Hug.

*

“I’m beggin’ ya,” Reki says, one final time, “don’t skate against Adam.”

“Even if I get injured, I won’t quit skateboarding,” Langa says, but what he wants to say is, I won’t leave your side.

He feels Reki’s fist against his chest the whole ride home.

*

Skating against Adam is—

Langa hates to admit it, but it’s that adrenaline rush he’s been craving. Adam defies logic in every way possible when he skates, and it keeps Langa on his toes. Skating with Reki brings that easy warmth he got on the bunny slopes with his parents as a child, but Adam is electric, dangerous, and everything that Teiko side relishes in. 

“It seems that you’re the same type of person as myself,” Adam says, wonder in his voice, and Langa hates himself for not being able to deny it.

And then he jumps over the Love Hug, and his heart soars, and he thinks Reki, did you see that?

*

“What happened to the promise that you wouldn’t be reckless?” Reki asks after they evade the cops, out by the water. He sounds… he’s not angry, or scared, or worried. His tone of voice is resigned, like he never should have expected Langa to be careful.

“Sorry,” Langa says, but he’s not, and he knows Reki can hear it.

*

He knows he can’t ask his mom for permission to go on this trip without making up with her first, so a few nights after his beef with Adam, he knocks on her bedroom door. “Can I come in?”

He hears the sheets rustle, hears her sigh, and then she says, “Come in.”

He sits on the side of her bed, his back brushing against her legs. “I’m sorry I upset you the other night,” he says, his words halting. Even in English, he can never express himself the way he wants to. “It’s just—things have been getting intense, where Reki and I skate, and I was wondering how much of that was because of Teiko.”

She sighs again, and puts her hand on his shoulder. “No, I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you,” she says. “You have every right to wonder. I just hate talking about that place. You’re not what they made you to be, baby.”

“‘Cause I never developed my powers.” He’s sour about that, and he shouldn’t be. It’s easier, pretending to be human when you don’t have superpowers, but he heard all about the Miracle Black Four during the Special Diet, about how he used his powers for years to orchestrate their escape, and he’s jealous. He was engineered to do exactly what Kuroko Tetsuya did, and his stupid body never figured it out.

“Black Fours were doomed from the start.” His mom is trying to be reassuring, he knows, but that’s not really helpful. “GM-B452 was an outlier. In the eight generations between him and you, the scientists were no closer to getting true invisibility to manifest. Infinity was the last generation they were going to produce Black Fours, anyway.”

He’d never heard that before. “Really?”

His mom nods. “Really. They were just going to add the power to the Silvers, instead.”

“What else did my files say?” he asks.

She looks uncomfortable. “Langa, a lot of this stuff—it’s not good, honey. Reading your files when I started made me sick. They knew exactly how tall you were going to be, your projected adult weight, they—” She breaks off, wiping welling wetness from her eyes. “If you weren’t a Failure, and you survived to adulthood, they were going to breed you, baby, with the Pink Two, and the White Ten, if she survived. They predicted which Projects you would find sexual gratification with.”

Langa feels sick, just like his mom said he would. He was—he was a baby, barely a toddler when he and his mom left Japan. These scientists were thinking about his sex life before he knew what sex was. “Why?” he croaks.

“They didn’t see you as human, baby. None of you. You were lab rats with rocket launchers, for all they cared. Only as useful as they money they could make off of you.” Her eyes sharpen. “You said things were getting ‘intense’ with skating. How?”

“Reki was injured during a race,” Langa says, because he figures that all her honesty deserves some honesty out of him. “And I—the guy he was racing against, I wanted to hurt him. I thought of all the ways I could make it look like an accident. But then, a few nights ago, I raced him, and I felt…” He trails off. How can he describe that feeling to his mom without making it seem sexual? “It was like I was flying,” he settles on. “Like, nothing could touch me. I was doing exactly what I was meant to be doing. Even though I knew he could hurt me, really, really badly, even though we were going sixty kilometers per hour down his track with no fences to keep us from toppling over the edge, even though he kept touching me…” Thinking back on it now, he feels a little sick to his stomach again, especially when he sees the look on his mom’s face. 

“This guy,” his mom says, voice serious, “is he a teenager? Or is he an adult?”

“An adult.”

“Langa, baby, I know I can’t stop you from sneaking out at night and doing these races,” she says, hands clasping his, “because I know you can always find another way of getting out if I try to stop you, but if this man ever touches you again without your consent, or if he touches any of the other kids you hang out with without their consent, I want you to tell me, okay? It’s not right.”

“Okay,” Langa says, and he knows this is a promise he’ll have to keep. “But—the adrenaline thing, is that—”

“Teiko designed that, yes,” his mom nods. “They didn’t want any of you cracking under pressure, so they modified your brain to send out more adrenaline.” She smiles, a tad sad. “You were always the biggest adrenaline junkie, though. You tried to do everything dangerous you saw the other Projects do during training, even though you weren’t made for full-on combat. It got you in a lot of trouble.”

Langa rubs at his wrists as the phantom pains flare up again. “That I remember.” Then, remembering the whole reason he came in here in the first place, he says, “A friend of mine and Reki’s says hot springs are a good, natural healing thing, so he got us tickets to Miyakojima this weekend. Is it okay with you if I go?”

“As long as you have an adult with you,” she says, and Langa perks up, because he knows just the adult.

*

Reki wants to drag him out shopping, because “I can’t believe you don’t have a swimsuit, man, we’re going to the beach, you need a swimsuit.”

“Reki,” he says, panicking a little, because if his trunks ride up everyone will see, see the brand on his thigh, they’ll know he’s GI-B423— “Reki, I can’t swim.”

Reki gives him an incredulous look. “You’re seventeen and you don’t know how to swim?”

“I lived near the mountains my whole life,” Langa retorts, and, yes, this is good, he can needle back and forth with Reki all day long.

Reki groans. “Fine, then,” he huffs, though Langa knows he doesn’t mean it. “But it’ll be hot, so make sure you dress for the weather, okay?”

“Yes, Mom,” Langa teases, just to see Reki’s face heat up.

*

There’s a girl, on the ferry. 

She’s pretty, in a distant kind of way. She’s not movie-star beautiful, but her hair is long and silky, and her dress compliments her figure. There is, all in all, nothing off about her.

But.

Reki is staring at her.

Langa feels something ugly twisting in his gut. It reminds him of how he felt when Adam hurt Reki, this overwhelming urge to eliminate, to take Reki away from this threat—

Wait, threat? This girl is normal. Nothing about her conveys any sort of physical advantage or ulterior motive. She’s just a girl, on vacation. 

But Reki is staring at her. He’s blushing. 

This girl could take Reki away from him.

It’s a relief when she brushes right by them. If she did try to take Reki, Langa couldn’t guarantee her safety.

Reki would forgive him.

Probably.

*

The beach is beautiful, Langa decides, laying under the umbrella while the others play in the sea. He wishes he could be out there with them, but he knows better; his secret is more important than a little bit of fun.

Someday, he promises himself, letting his hands linger a little too long on Reki’s shoulders while they’re teasing Shadow. Someday I’ll tell them.

Just not today.

*

Sitting around the fancy inn Cherry’s staying at, and thinking about his conversation with his mom, Langa sneaks out of the large room where they ate dinner while the adults bicker. He finds a small courtyard with patrons milling around, settles himself on the deck, and tries to picture himself becoming invisible.

It’s risky, he knows; Teiko Projects glow when they use their powers, so if he is successful, someone could notice. But he’s not actually expecting to be successful, at least not in the psychic capacity. He never was before.

Langa knows he stands out in a crowd. He’s tall for Japan, and his hair and eyes always make people assume he’s a Miracle. It doesn’t take long for people to start glancing at him out of the corner of their eyes, and Langa picks one, an old man wearing a green patterned yukata, leaning heavily against a wooden cane and not even trying to pretend he’s not staring at him, and focuses on not being visible. 

How the fuck do I not be visible?

He sighs, running a hand through his hair. What was it the Black Miracle said during the Special Diet? I can only make someone temporarily forget my own presence. Is that the key? It’s less invisibility and more induced amnesia? God, the other Projects in his Generation used to make it look so easy. One second they’d be standing still, and the next they were glowing all sorts of bright colors and doing what they were made to do. 

He doesn’t think about the other members of his Generation often, so the thought comes as a surprise to him. For just a moment, he lets himself imagine what they would be like, if they’d also been freed like Langa was. 

The moment is brief. Dwelling on those things only made Langa’s heart ache. 

He crosses his arms across his knees, digging his blunt nails into the skin by his elbows, and thinks of the man he picked earlier. Don’t look at me, he thinks, screwing his eyes shut. You don’t see me. I’m not here.

Then, after a moment, he lifts his eyes, and he bites back a gasp, because the forearm in front of his face is surrounded by a faint black outline. It’s not a brilliant glow, like a Yellow or and Orange, but it’s there. His eyes dart back up to the old man with the cane, and he looks dazed, almost confused, like he’s wondering what he was looking at.

He’s doing it. He’s doing it!

In his excitement, he loses focus, and the faint outline fades, but it was there. He isn’t useless like he always thought.

He’s a success. A little bit, at least.

He has to try again. He picks another person, a mother cradling her baby, and tries to recall that feeling, the one right before he noticed the outline. It was almost like… desperation. He was desperate to manifest the powers he was designed with. Desperate to prove himself worthy of…

Of what? The approval of Teiko, a company that doesn’t exist anymore? The approval of the scientists, who didn’t see him as human and thought about his future sex life when he was a baby? The respect of his fellow Projects, most of whom are dead?

The approval of himself?

The desire to try it out again fades. God, what is he doing? He’s never felt inclined to use his powers before, so why now? He should be glad he never developed them. Living in human society is hard enough with his hair and eyes; living in Japan is hard enough with his height and his terrible handwriting and his Canadian habits that contradict Japanese ones. Not having powers, not standing out even more than he already does, should be a blessing.

He thinks about the letter his dad wrote him, still unsealed, in his bedside drawer.

He stands up, brushes his pants off, and wanders back to the group. They’re probably wondering where he is, by now, and he doubts he can use the bathroom excuse again. 

*

Langa knows pretty much right away that the things chasing him and Reki are just normal people covered in mud. Even the overpowering stench of the muck can’t hide that from his senses. But he doesn’t really have any concrete way of expressing this to Reki without hinting at what he is, so he goes along with it, and runs with Reki.

It’s the same kind of rush, skating away from an opponent on a rough course like this, only now, he has Reki with him. Reki’s right next to him, keeping up to him even when Langa’s being serious about the whole ordeal, and keeping a level head when Langa turns around to admire their pursuer’s skateboarding skills. 

Then the thing starts poking Reki’s leg with his stick, and Langa sees red. How dare this worthless human touch Reki like that? How dare they try to knock him off his skateboard, when he last time he bailed, he ended up in the emergency room? He’d like to knock them right off Shadow’s skateboard, but this time, he’s close enough to catch Reki when he falls, so he does.

The weight of Reki in his arms feels right. It feels inevitable, like he was built to hold him. He can feel Reki’s quick breathing, can practically hear his heart beating in his chest, and it makes him think about other activities that could cause that—

But this is no time for that. Not when they’re being chased, not when Langa doesn’t even know if Reki likes boys the way he likes girls.

*

“How did you two manage to not get covered in mud yesterday?” Shadow asks them the next morning on the ferry back to Okinawa. He, Cherry, and Joe are all still complaining about the smell they couldn’t wash off last night.

Joe sniffs at his hand and winces. “Did that ghost thing not chase you?”

Reki goes as stiff as a board next to Langa. “That wasn’t a ghost!”

“Well, what was it, then?” Shadow asks.

Langa eyes a poster about a festival about covering people in mud to protect them from evil spirits out of the corner of his eye and says, “Who knows?” If none of the adults can figure it out, that’s on them. He’ll tell Reki about it later.

*

“Mom?” Langa asks when he gets home after dropping Reki off at his house. 

His mom looks up from the movie she’s watching on the couch. “Oh! Welcome home, baby. Did you have a fun trip?”

But he’s not in the mood for pleasantries. “Did Teiko make me gay?” The word falls from his lips and it burns, like he’s said something shameful. Being gay isn’t a big deal in Canada, at least not anymore, and Langa has always absently supported LGTBQ rights in a distant way that made him think he was probably straight after all and just hadn’t found a girl he liked, but this trip…

“Oh, sweetie.” His mom opens her arms and he falls into them like a child. “Before I answer, what brought this on?”

“I just—you said they had a breeding plan, so I know I’m not sterile, but I’ve never been interested in girls.”

“Is that all?”

Langa presses his face further into her shoulder and says nothing.

“Langa, do you remember what I told you when I took you from Teiko?”

“You—you said you were my mom, and that meant you would love me and take care of me for the rest of your life.”

She hums affirmatively, stroking his hair with her gentle fingers. “That love is unconditional. No matter what you do, I’ll love you just the same. That’s how moms work, honey. So, if there’s anything else you want to tell me, you don’t have to be scared.”

Langa opens his mouth. Closes it. Licks his lips and tries again. “I love him, Mom,” he says, the words soft, like a whisper, like a secret. “I love Reki.”

Her smile is in her voice when she says, “Thank you for trusting me with that, honey. I can tell he makes you really happy.”

“We’re not—together,” Langa interjects. “He—he likes girls, and I don’t know if he likes boys, too. He doesn’t know how I feel.”

“You’ll never know if you don’t take that risk.”

“But it’s a big risk. If he doesn’t like me, I might lose him forever.” The mere thought of not having Reki in his life anymore makes tears gather in his eyes. “I couldn’t do it.” He takes a deep, shuddering breath, and asks again. “Did Teiko make me gay?”

“Yes,” his mom says, simply. “They knew you would eventually interact with humans, and they didn’t want undesirable offspring. But, Langa,” she continues, cupping his chin and raising his head so their eyes would meet. “They didn’t design you to fall in love with Reki. They didn’t think you could love. You loving Reki is all you, baby. Never doubt that.”

“Do you think— Would Dad—?”

“Your father would have adored Reki,” she says, and the weight that falls from his chest makes him gasp. “Reki sounds so much like him, in the best possible ways. They’re cut from the same cloth. And he would have loved you just the same way as always.”

Langa falls asleep like that, in the same clothes he traveled in, curled up in his mother’s lap like a child. His last thought before he drifts off is that letter he still hasn’t opened.

One day, he says. I don’t want to say goodbye yet.

[calypsoff]

Twenty Seven.

Rolling my eyes hard while on FaceTime to Chris, you know what why is the man I love, also is the love of my life and I adore him so much, but he is so fucking stubborn. He has his moments where he will leave his ego at the door where he will obey me and what I say and then the next day he will refuse to hear me out or say I am being judgemental and I need to listen to what I am saying to him, it’s always my way, it never is anyways. But I swear he does shit and doesn’t think of the bigger picture at all “you got a face on with me?” So he says “not so much, you could be here with me in Cali but instead you’re there in Virginia about to do something dumb, it’s not even your child to care” I want to tell him no, I want to say to him if you love me don’t go but I know it will fall on deaf ears. I will look like the nasty one and that I look insecure when I don’t “exactly, show my face and go” I sniggered “that is the issue, you know why Chris. Do it, go. I am busy anyways, I think you need a lesson” rubbing my forehead “you are doing the most for nothing, it’s really nothing. But anyways I’m going to go and look pretty” annoying asshole “ok bye” disconnecting the call before he could say anything more, he just wants to annoy me “why does he purposely go out of his way to be an asshole!” I shouted “baby you could have said no, it’s easy” Mel added hearing the whole conversation, this is whole other issue. I don’t like how we are all dating people in the same circle, if shit goes wrong it will affect us “you don’t know Chris like I do, but you know what. Let him go, he hasn’t had the blogs be on his ass, he doesn’t know what it is like being famous and he will soon find out, I want him too. I’m going to rehearsal and ignoring him when he’s getting tagged in false claims, I don’t care for them. I just didn’t want the mess but let him, he will be calling me up saying I didn’t do anything. Let it happen Mel, who am I to hide him when he doesn’t want it from me, but I am angry, and until further notice I don’t want to know” shaking my head, he is going to get a nasty wake up call.

I enjoyed Virginia a lot, I loved how homie it was. I enjoyed my time with Chris, and I loved it all. It was a real good time away to be honest, it was my home when I was doing the exchange programme, I loved that his family treated me well and I feel Chris and I are closer than ever. But he just needs to stop trying to hear his own voice, like he doesn’t need to go but he will. And I can’t wait to hear him call me and say I didn’t do anything when they are dragging him, me. I have become immune to it, Chris will get a lesson in this “you have a face like thunder, the dancers are going to be shook” Mel said through her laughter “oh I’m not angry, I was just thinking. But how is you and Barry getting on? Is he less stubborn than Chris? Does he actually listen” Mel chuckled, she is laughing but I’m not, I hate when Chris is like this. Tries to be the man of our home, he knows damn well he will be crying to me “he’s a nerd, like Chris and I like that about him. He’s easy going, and we talk every day. He said that if we do end up being together and it works out well enough that he would move here and I’m like nigga already!? I mean I am not whipped at all but he’s nice, and easy going” I sighed out “oh brother, now why can’t Chris be this way” my man is a whole pain “because he likes to be the man of the house, I don’t know. Something he will get over but I’m excited” I’m scared of this whole relationship with friends’ things, I am just not sure of what to make of it. I feel like we will be judging each other, maybe that’s me because Chris is being a pain, but I hope it’s not what I assume it will be, I want better for me, for him, for us to be honest.

Robyn is cute, like she left me her gold chain. I mean it’s cute and small, but she left it behind, I think she did, or she purposely left it here, but I am wearing it anyways. Putting my snapback backwards, I wore the chain anyways, but I am just wearing the minimum, I wore white tee and grey sweatpants. I am just going to go to the thing and then leave, I am there for the free food like the fuck. It’s not even that deep, like I don’t understand why it’s a big thing, I mean I get it but it’s nothing. Go there and leave, that is it. I am late anyways, I told him I am going to go there late because I don’t want to be there all day. They are having the reveal at a hall, so I will turn up and then leave. I showed my face, I am there for my nigga so does it matter. Closing my bedroom door and making my way down the steps “where are you going?” Desean asked me “out, I will be back. Dad, I am borrowing the car!” I shouted; I been borrowing the car every day since being here. I need to get my own car; this is my list for my family. A new car for them, a new home. A bigger one anyways, they deserve it “when will you be back?” my dad asked “I won’t be long, I am going to see TJ” my dad nodded his head “uh, isn’t it Seiko gender party today? I saw someone post a little something about it” nodding my head “anyways, bye” I don’t need to hear anyone speak on this, I know what I am doing. This is my life, I need to take a hold of it in a way of making big money, I need to get into that life. And I think California, well me being in California will do me good. I need that in my life, I need to win big for me and my family and also Robyn, I need to do it for her too.

Locking my car door and making my way to the hall, these Jordan’s I have on right now are brand new, I just bought them today and these sweatpants is what Drake gave me from his clothing line, dope. I ain’t dressed up, I ain’t even shaved so if anyone thinks I made the effort then they lying as fuck. Licking my top lip pulling open the door to the place, I told TJ I am coming, and he came to meet me “I am so fucking happy to see you my brother” TJ hugged me “nigga got a whole fucking clown suit on” Barry snorted laughing “I had to look the part, I got the Burberry tie on. Man, my momma is so happy about this. I hate it” moving back from the hug and dapping Barry “well of course you ain’t going to be happy, shit was a mistake” I chuckled “is Seiko brother’s here?” not like I care “mhmm yeah, they trying to beef me up but whatever” of course “I am hungry, where the food at. There better be chicken wings” rubbing my stomach “nigga I paid half, I made sure there was. We wait on you so come. We can get some alcohol and food” nodding my head, least they waited on me. I don’t care for anyone, just my brother’s.

Licking my fingers as I placed the paper plate down, I am getting weird looks from people I don’t know “little rat, why you keep coming here?” TJ said to his sister “can I get a picture with you?” wiping my hands on my sweatpants “who?” I asked “you” she pointed “me!?” I spat half confused “can I? I want to tell my friends that I know you because you date Rihanna!” she half shouted, I chuckled “who is Rihanna? I don’t date Rihanna ma, see. The pictures you see they are photoshopped. I am single” I lied, but she doesn’t believe me. She seems more disappointed that I even lied to her, she looked down at her phone “my sister is pain bro, like she into this celebrity shit. Like live you damn life “look” she patted my lap, turning to her “oh wow, who is that woman?” she out here pulling out receipts of Robyn and I “stop lying, can I please have a picture with you. You’re super famous now” she is tripping “I am not famous, my god. It’s me Chris! I ain’t had this before with you” TJ nudged me “just do it bro so we can get rid of her” taking in a deep breath “fine, come here” waving her over “TJ take it” she passed her his phone and she openly sat in my lap, I ain’t into this picture thing “you look so annoyed, smile for me. Quick” I grinned at the camera “now go away! Leave us alone, dang” that is the weirdest shit to happen to me today.

Sitting back in my seat as TJ made his way to his baby mother, I find this hilarious to me. I know this nigga hates this, but he is putting on a front, I am so happy it wasn’t me. Chewing on my bottom, Seiko and I eyes met and she is just blatantly staring at me in a room full of people, I mean I wish she looked away, but I can tell she regrets things, she looked away as she should. Clearing my throat looking away laughing to myself “you look well Chris” looking to the side of me “I do? You look well too Kristie” moving my arm from the chair “you’re rather the celebrity in this joint, kind of knocked my best friend off her pedestal” moving my chair away from her as she sat down “I don’t bite, I mean you should know that” rubbing my hands against my sweatpants “I ain’t do shit, I come here to support my friend” there is one thing, I never fucked ugly bitches and I love that for me “likewise, she does love you and still does” I sniggered “right, and having sex with my best friend made that right” she pointed at me “you sir are a hypocrite, you fucked all her friends” shaking my head “she was right there, y’all was ok with it. She knew it was wrong from jump with TJ. She knew that” is this girl being real right now “I never liked her like that anyways, that is the point. I am happier, away from her” Kristie laughed “who wouldn’t be dating Rihanna? She is beautiful and rich, you tell me Chris did you purposely take her there to get with Rihanna?” shaking my head “I didn’t think Rihanna would even remember me like that, I love her so much and I don’t pass around that word much so you can’t say it’s like that when it’s not. Nothing to do with being rich, she is my childhood sweetheart” I don’t care, I will tell the whole world “that sent my friend a shut up letter, Seiko loves you still. I say good riddance, she says she lost but you look well. Better then I last saw you naked” she winked at me “it’s the tan” she got up from her seat “I suppose” watching her walk off, now I should have dated her between her and Seiko.

I clapped seeing that my friend is having a son, happy for him. I think if he was having a girl he would be even more depressed “are you dating Rihanna? You’re the guy she is dating” this girl pointed me out, I stopped clapping “huh, what?” I said all confused “you’re like the guy Rihanna is dating, she was in Virginia and she was at her old school, oh my god you are actually him. I follow him!” she shouted “I am just a regular dude” I put my hands up, in my defence I am “can we like take a picture with you? You are literally the sexiest light skinned nigga. I get why she would date you” I chuckled “I will pass on the photos” I walked by them “congratulations brother, a boy” dapping TJ “I am so happy, like I don’t know what I would do with a girl. Now you need to have a boy, then Barry we all going to have a day care” shaking my head laughing “you need to get Rih pregnant, on god” I shushed him “relax on that, she busy now. But I am happy for you” hugging him “thank you” I know he appreciates it “nice seeing you here” Seiko spoke to me, I stepped back keeping my distance “for TJ, I am going to see to Barry” dapping TJ walking off.

Barry is eating again “people are weird here, they all are speaking on Rihanna and I am her boyfriend. I am but the fuck. I am just a regular dude” Barry is stuffing his face “that makes you famous by affiliation now Chris, you famous” furrowing my eyebrows “that is bullshit, anyways. Kristie came up to me. Started speaking on Seiko still in love with me and shit. This is why I ran here but I think it’s my time to go” I think I do “can we talk?” Seiko is right there “about what? There is nothing to talk about” Barry stood next to me, I ain’t moving anywhere with her “did you go to her concert to get back with her, I hate myself. She was laughing at me all that time when she took you from me” taking in a deep breath “I was never yours, yes I was with you. I dated you but it really meant nothing when I always loved her, I did. I wish you let me go, take off my pictures. Move on, so you can be happier in yourself also. I came here for TJ, not to see you. I am going Barry, good luck with that” I pointed at her bump as I walked off, all I know is that I am in my city but people are acting mad weird now with this Rihanna shit and I want to run home.

[arsonistslut]

Chapter 15: A false truth

Meanwhile, Jeff lay awake in his hospital bed. He didn't even properly feel angry anymore, or sad, or..anything. He just felt numb. He was getting a hair transplant, but the doctors wouldn't be able to perform proper plastic surgery until a good year or so, so natural healing of his wounds was the only viable option. His parents hadn't visited once, so he had only the staff to keep him company. Whenever one of the nurses came to change his bandages, as was procedure, he could see the look of pity in her eyes. His burns were horrific to look at, he assumed, but not once did he ask to see his own face.

When they put him under for his hair transplant, the demon, apparently calling itself "Zalgo" when asked, had returned to that space they'd talked in before. The same dark corner, red swelling around Zalgo's presence like a plague. Last time Jeff was here with the demon, he took it's hand and pledged bloodshed upon the world..but now he was second-guessing his decision.

"...How do you know Liu hates me, Zal? I mean..he could be in therapy, for all I know! He doesn't hate me, he can't..I'm his brother.."

"He sure is getting therapy.."

Zalgo reached toward one of the walls and swiped over it, opening a sort of..one way window to the sight of Liu and Natalie, gazing at the stars together, Nat running her fingers through Liu's hair as he curled up in her arms like a cat.

"He's forgotten about you, Jeff..remarkably quickly. Another thing.."

Jeff then saw into earlier in the day. Liu was talking to Randy, the kid that set him on fire, and apologized to him. Did it all mean nothing to him...? Did all the times they helped each other, the bond they had, the fact that his brother was rotting in a hospital and was going to be for a year mean nothing to him?

"A reminder, Jeffrey..he's doing this on purpose. They all do, all the couples at school that see a lonesome soul like you with nobody to go to prom with, your family that irrationally hates everything you do and paints you as a monster, the police who arrested you, mocked you for your disorder, they think it's funny. This world hates people like you, and it won't stop beating you down until you're dead."

Chapter 16: Fresh meat

Keith smirked as he saw the new girl with the black-and-red stockings pass him by in the locker. Nina Hopkins, another transfer from 9th grade. She was what you would call the "alt-girl", and if the rumors were true, had similar issues that Jeff kid had. Keith taps his friend Troy's shoulder, and the two follow her as she heads outside to eat her lunch.

"Hey! Where ya goin', anorexic?"

Nina turned to look at the boys who followed her outside, sighing as she ignored them and muttered to herself.

"Same shit as before.."

"What is it, Jeff? You finally got that sex change?"

"Jeff? who's Jeff?"

"Oh, right, that's your 'dead name'. Sorry, nInA!"

Randy saw the two outside, approaching and looking at the situation. At this point, Troy and Keith were hardly people he wanted to associate with anymore. He didn't want to bully people anymore, to hurt anyone else with these two dopes.

"C'mon, you two. We've got bigger fish to fry."

"What? We're just..introducing her to the neighborhood."

"We're going."

"You her boyfriend or something?"

Randy approached Keith, looming over the ginger with a subdued anger in his eyes.

"Maybe I should beat your fucking ass, Keith. Teach you your fair share of respect."

When his "friend" stepped back in surprise and fear, Ellsworth couldn't help but feel just a little bit satisfied with himself. Damn, that felt good.

"Alright, I'm coming..Jesus."

When the three left, Nina, who was just..caught up in all of this, looked on in confusion as she took a bite out of her sandwich.

"Sheesh..who is this Jeff kid, anyway? Heh, maybe I could buy some drugs or something off of him."

She joked to herself, the rest of school carrying on without incident.

Chapter 17: Breaking away

It was the same walk home as usual. The same cool air, the same autumn leaves flowing through the wind, the same desolate suburbia that New Orleans had become. Liu passed the Wallace Street sign that signaled the closeness of his house, his hands interlocked with Natalie's. He was about to cross the train tracks, but then he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Liu fuckin' Woods. How the hell've you been, little man?"

Keith Winchester. Alone. With a baseball bat.

"This is the same street your brother attacked me on. Poetic, ain't it?"

Liu felt that he wasn't gonna get out of this without violence, but he didn't expect this kid, who from what he remembered hearing, had a pretty cushy life, was going to try and attack him and Nat, of all people with a baseball bat. It was metal, too, so he had to have gotten it from his dad or something. Natalie was more annoyed than frightened, however, and began walking toward the bully.

"Oh, you think you're-"

What came next horrified Liu; the awful sound of aluminum striking flesh full force rang out as Keith bashed her upside the head with his weapon. Liu's conscious quickly gave way to let Sully in, and he charged at Keith, who raised the bat above his head to strike Liu down as well, but a hard punch to the gut quickly doubled the boy over. Sully quickly followed up by grabbing Keith's ears and headbutting him, knocking him to thee ground in a daze. Liu felt like he was outside of his own body, just..watching it all unfold. Sully grabbed the baseball bat and struck Keith in the ribs, then again in the shoulder, again to his ribs. A strike to his ankle came next, causing Keith to cry out in pain louder than before. Sully then heard the loud bells of a train arriving and grabbed Keith's leg, grabbing him and then throwing him down against the tracks, placing a foot against his back so he couldn't escape. The train grew closer and closer, the panic of the situation began slowly rushing back to Liu, as Natalie's voice called out to him;

"LIU, NO!!"

Suddenly, Liu regained control, and before the train could kill Keith, he pulled him out of the way of the speeding train, the shock on his face mirroring his. Keith limped away as Natalie rushed over to Liu's side.

"Liu, what the hell was that?! You nearly killed him!"

"I-I don't know, I just..s-snapped!"

"...I've never seen you that..angry, before..that scared me, Liu. It's like..you were a different person."

"I...I guess it was.."

"C'mon, I'll be fine. He hits hard, goddamn it..you got an ice pack or something?"

Liu grabbed an ice pack from his backpack and gently pressed it up to his girlfriend's face, half of him internally cursing himself for not killing that Keith motherfucker for hitting Natalie, and the other just happy that this whole event was over and done with.

3 days passed, and Keith hadn't gotten any better. He could tell Randy was about to split, and Troy..Troy was as dopey as he usually was, that relentless apathy toward all the cruelty and the violence, it was disturbing at times. Still, Keith had agreed to drive the three out to this junkyard he frequented, helped him separate from the outside world. They'd decided that a couple of good-for-nothing cars in an abandoned junkyard would be the perfect tourniquets for their frustrations, and Keith's father played lots of baseball, so they had weapons to use in such..venting. Troy and Randy were having a fair bit of fun there, making crude jokes and smashing old cars to pieces, but Keith was busy letting out all of the frustration, the anger he had for the Woods brothers and what they'd done to him. The car he was smashing apart was nearly about to collapse on it's own as Winchester screamed curse word after curse word, striking the derelict with hit after hit. Once he was finished, he noticed the two other teenagers looking at him. Troy looked amazed at what his friend did, whilst Randy just seemed...concerned.

"Are..are you alright, dude?"

"No, I'm not alright!! Jeff, Liu, those two fucks have been on my mind ever since the shit with the forest happened! Everybody thinks I'm a fucking weakling, thanks to those two! Well, news flash, I am NOT a weakling!!"

"Keith, we'll get those two eventually, alright? They've hurt you, and that means they hurt all of us. Nobody hurts us."

"Right..they're the bigger fish you mentioned when you pussied out over that Nina girl, right?"

"I didn't pussy out, Keith! We need to get after those shitters and not after some weird 17 year old!"

"You..You lie through your teeth, don't you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You left your journal in my car, Randall. I decided to pore through it, and what do I find? Page after page of you whining about us, saying you want me and Troy gone from your life! We were friends!"

"People change, Keith, and I changed. A-After that fire, I realized that it was wrong..all of it was wrong! This bullying shit, it isn't okay! We're making other people feel like shit for our own enjoyment, that's sick!"

Randy let out an exasperated sigh as he sat on the roof of a car, clasping his hands together as he searched for the sort of words he thought could properly express how he's changed. Maybe his story would..resonate with Keith. Troy let out a small chuckle as he laid on a car hood and watched the drama unfold.

"I've never been the best with expressing myself, Keith. People would get mad at me when I said some shit that pissed them off, I didn't have a goddamn clue as to how I was supposed to talk to people. That's why I started all of this, why I started bullying people. People didn't really like me, but it was for a reason I could understand for once! But, now..after I lit Jeff on fire, it just doesn't seem worth it anymore."

"Oh, that's why?! You can't fucking talk right?! Randy, I've gotten arrested for you, you know that?! I took the fall for you for those vandalism charges when we set that old shed on fire, and was because you apparently had a fucking speech impediment."

"Keith, calm down-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!"

Randy just shook his head as Keith stormed away, snatching his baseball bat out of Randy's hands. Troy soon got up and followed, looking Ellsworth dead in the eyes as he passed him.

"You suck some off, y'know that?"

"And you swallow, prick."

Once Keith and Troy left, Randy smiled to himself, something he hadn't done ever since the incident. It was like a giant weight had been lifted from his chest, so after taking in the bliss of being free of those two, he stood up and began heading home. He'd finally broken away from those two.

[blackgwenstacy]

highlights from the lightning thief musical

i saw the lightning theif last night at the straz in tampa and it was so!!! good!! my inner theatre kid was so satisfied and i wanted to make a list of all my favorite parts (which is basically the whole musical lmao) spoilers  ahead

so the musical started with this LOUD ass clap of thunder and half the audience (including me) nearly peed

PERCY’S ENTRANCE WAS SO DOPE after the Prologue the demigods rip away the lightning banner and Chris McCarrel s l i d downstage into a “thinking man” position and goes: “look. i didn’t want to be a half blood” i DIED

when sally gets home from work percy goes something like “hey mom how was your day mine was great went on a field trip got expelled did some homework nothing extraordinary hahaha”

when Smelly Gabe made his entrance percy suddenly had a can of air freshener and was OBNOXIOUSLY spraying it LMAO

when grover appears after Strong he’s like: “thERES A FURY” and percy responds “no, YOU’RE ALL FURRY” but the audience definitely heard “you’re a furry” we were dying

percy meets poseidon in a dream and goes “oh look. a strange man in a Hawaiian shirt.

poseidon gives him a sea shell and he talks really deeply and slowly. he was like “what beloooongs to the seeeaa can alwaaays returrrrn...it’s a sea shell” and does the Shaka hand gesture and walks offstage. i cannot make this up.

grover’s actor also as mr. D? A+

silena gestured to her crotch when she said charlie grew sunflowers “everywhere”

katie gardener went on a spiel about not senselessly slaughtering trees and Mr. D just....aggressively sharpened a pencil in front of her

during Another Terrible Day percy was so confused and overwhelmed he just started clapping to emphasize what he was saying: “WHAT👏🏽 IS👏🏽 HAPPENING👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽” i screamed

CHIRON’S CENTAUR BODY WAS JUST A TAIL STICKING OUT OF HIS PANTS AND HE JUST WALKED REALLY ABSURDLY TO EMPHASIZE THE FACT THAT HE WAS HALF HORSE. suspension of disbelief was really my friend here.

when Grover and Percy get reunited Grover’s scared that Percy will be mad at him for not protecting both him and his mom but Percy just goes “i’m so happy to see you!!” and they share the biggest hug i’m 🥺🥺🥺 grovercy rights

Percy has only seen Annabeth in his weird dream sequence so when he actually sees her in real life he blurts out “HEY YOU’RE MY DREAM GIRL” and everyone onstage is just like...did you really just-

to represent water they used a toilet paper roll and leaf blowers. they literally TP-ed clarisse in the bathroom scene

the campfire scene was probably one of my favorites like the bonding!! complaining about their annoying parents!! the little dance they all did at the end kinda seemed Greek influenced but i couldn’t tell ah!!

they japed the entire audience during percy’s claiming. they couldn’t actually show a trident above his head so they were like “LOOK IN THE SKY. IT’S A TRIDENT” and pointed toward the back of the house and the audience turned around in their seats looking for the damn trident we looked stupid

Chiron: “All hail Perseus Jackson, Son of the Sea God.”

Percy: “Son of a SEA GOD?? SWEEEET!”

and then everyone started panicking because “holy shit son of the Big Three we’re doomed.”

Mr. D legitimately wanted to turn Percy into a dolphin to avoid Zeus’ wrath

Mr D (about the Master Bolt): THIS ISN’T SOME TIN FOIL COVERED CARDBOARD PROP IN A TRAVELING MUSICAL

The Oracle was SO COOL like all the actors were inside her dress to make it move with her hand movements it was creepy but COOL

GOOD KID!! Good Kid was so intense like you could see Chris SPITTING. HE WAS SO INTO IT

there was a heart to heart between Luke and Percy after good kid at the lake and it was so beautiful I ALMOST forgot Luke was the traitor

can I just say the OG trio is amazing omg frick. they were so excited during Killer Quest I love them 🥺

as soon as Act 2 started it jumped right into them being chaotic aka them exploding a bus

random bus passenger: “believe it or not this isn’t even the weirdest thing that’s happened to me on the greyhound”

Grover explaining how he can talk to the squirrel during Lost! and Percy went: “I think that’s kind of nuts” and just SMIRKED. the entire audience started clapping for the f*cking pun they had to hold the scene for ten seconds it was golden

I FORGOT TO MENTION THIS EARLIER BUT EVERY TIME SOMEONE COMPLIMENTED ANNABETH SHE WOULD GET SO HAPPY!! Luke said she was the strongest person he knew and she was like “you think i’m strong??🥺” and Medusa was like I just HAVE to take a picture of you and Annabeth was like “you want a picture of ME?? 🥺🥺” someone please give this girl the praise and love she deserves

Kristin really sang her heart out during My Grand Plan like I had chills literal CHILLS. KRISTiN YOU’RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE.

during Tree on the Hill they had Grover on the ground level singing about what happened then up on the scaffolding Luke, Annabeth, and Thalia were acting out what he was singing and during Thalia’s death Annabeth, Luke and the actress who played Thalia stood with their backs together and used their arms to form a tree and i cried

THEY HAD CONFETTI CANONS FOR THE END OF DEAD ON ARRIVAL I WAS SO IMPRESSED

annabeth: “guys...i think that pit down there is Tartarus”

percy: “THE FISH SAUCE??”

“we need to get out of here before hades finds us!!”

Hades, in an exaggeratedly southern, flamboyant accent: “WELL, it’s TOO LATE FOR THAT!”

hades radiated chaotic gay energy i swear. you know the john mulaney new in town bit where the guy’s like “i’m a homosexual and i’m new in town” that is hades.

Hades: “give me the lightning bolt”

Percy: “there’s no way in HELL--oh”

Hades really emphasizes the fact that there’s no way out of the underworld without his help and then Percy remembers the shell his dad gave him and blows into it which opens up a PORTAL and Hades goes “oh, COME ON”

ANNABETH AND GROVER REFUSED TO LET PERCY FIGHT ARES ALONE MY BABIES

Ares singing his version of Clarisses “Put You In Your Place” vs Percy singing “Son of Poseidon” all during a fighting sequence. poetic theatre.

for the climax of Son of Poseidon percy, annabeth and grover all had leaf blowers and TP-ed the front three rows of the audience to represent percy defeating ares with his powers. jesus.

percy told his mom Medusa’s head was a “do it yourself statue kit” scream

annabeth: hey clarisse we met your dad, he’s not as strong as you think

clarisse: you met my DAD??...did he say anything about me? 🥺

LUKES EVIL YET HEART WRENCHING VERSION OF GOOD KID WHILE HE AND PERCY ARE SWORD FIGHTING

“I’ll do anything I don’t care if I hurt anyone it doesn’t pay to be a GOOD KID A GOOD KID A GOOD SON”

he stabs percy and runs and also rips down the CHB banner on his way out. what kind of anarchial mess.

annabeth goes “seaweed brain!” while giving percy ambrosia for his stab wound and percy smiles and goes “wise girl :)” and they nearly touched foreheads. nia.exe has stopped working

during the final moment of Bring on the Monsters white lights focus on percy while the rest of the stage is dark and he smiles while singing “I’ll be back next summer, I’ll be back next summer.” and there’s a final blackout. my heart.

there’s so much i want to say and a lot i probably forgot but just know this musical did that. the actors are all so talented and so many of them played 3+ more characters!! like imagine the amount of quick changes and lines and songs they have to remember!! they’re bad asses all of them. it’s true to the actual pjo books as well. if you have a chance you should totally see it because the tour is closing soon :’)

[smokeybrandreviews]

Party Forever

I’ve been revisiting Adventure Time during my many, many, bouts of insomnia and i still absolutely love this show. It’s one of the best to ever air and, taking it in years after it ended, is a little bittersweet. Even the excellent specials we’re getting with Distant Lands are just reminders of how awesome this thing as during it’s original run. With all of that in mind, i wanted to highlight some of my favorite episodes throughout it’s run. Just a disclaimer, this thing is going to be very Marcy heavy. She’s my favorite character end her episodes tend to be exceptional. That said, i really love every episode to varying extents so, if one isn’t mentioned specifically, it’s more to save time than i don’t care for it. Look, this thing ran for ten years. If i covered every episode, we’d be here all day!

Elements

Elements was so good, man, i had to make an exception for it. This thing is a mini series, not just one episode but i don’t see how i could leave it off this list. I loved seeing a completely upside down Ooo. The correlation between emotion and the Princesses was also a really nice touch. Plus, it;s always nice whenever LSP gets to shine.

High Strangeness

I don’t like Tree Trunks. I find her to be grating. However, even i have to admit that she has some of the best episodes in the show, my favorite being High Strangeness. It’s such a bonkers experience, you know? The Grays, that weird candy cancer, thee way the animation gets real wonky on the spaceship; It’s all over the place and i adore it.

Be More

Listen, if you like this show, then you love BMO. It’s an objective truth and Be More is it’s best episode. Going back to the MO factory to see where BMO was turned into quite the treat. This episode is one of the sweetest in the entire series and the climax genuinely made me smile.

The Other Tarts

This episode as so goddamn weird and solidified why i loved this series so much. It’s f*cking all over the place, man. It’s just a series of escalating folly and I was laughing my ass off the entire time. In all honesty, this episode is probably the weakest to make this list but even now, as i think back on it, the Tart Toter still makes me chuckle. What the f*ck was even that soliloquy?

Abstract

Listen, I'm a big brother. I got two, idiot, siblings that are just bumbling through life. Seeing Jake trying t figure out his sh*t and getting that unconditional support from his big bro really hit home. I give my kid brothers a lot of sh*t but, when the chips are down and they need me, I'll move heaven and earth to make sure they’re good. Plus, it’s always dope seeing Jermaine in an episode. Dude deserved more shine.

One Last Job

Jake Jr. is my favorite pup and this is her best episode, even if she ain’t really in it. There’s a reason why she’s Jake’s favorite, too, and she demonstrates that perfectly during this one.

No One Can Hear You

That f*cking deer, bro!

Flute Spell

Flute Spell became one of my favorite episodes because of the chemistry Finn has with Huntress Wizard. They feel so organic together, so complimentary. I was a little bummed they didn’t make it official at the end but my ship was definitely sailing by the end of that one.

Card Wars

Card wars was fun as to watch. It reminded me of the times i would play games with my brothers. Cats get real competitive and sh*t can go sideways fast. Finn and Jake’s sibling dynamic always rang true to me and it is rarely so deftly presented than in this episode.

I Remember You

This episode broke my heart. It was f*cking devastating to watch. I cannot imagine what it’s like to love someone so deeply and have then not even know who you are. To have such a deep history together and they are a stranger to you in the present. You remember everything but they remember nothing. Marcy’s entire life is loss and this episode just hammered that home in the most gut-punching way. Don’t understanding, it’s a beautiful episode it’s just so goddamn bittersweet.

Marceline’s Closet

I just love how awkward Finn and Jake were during this entire episode. It’s rare to see them so frazzled and the way Marcy just nonchalantly tells then she just stays in their house was priceless. This one is more Marcy adjacent but it’s still excellent and one of my favorites.

What Was Missing

F*cking Door Lords, am i right? In all seriousness, i really like this episode. It’s more an ensemble than a Marcy episode but you’d be hard-pressed to find a better song than “I’m Just Your Problem.” That mess is a straight up banger! Also, tsundere Marcy is the best!

Time Sandwich

Sandwiche! Mijo!

Stakes

This one is another cheat. Just like Elements, Stakes is actually a miniseries but it tells one cohesive story that’s one of the best in the entire show. You not only get to see much more of Marcy, always a plus, but the world of Ooo immediately after the Mushroom War fallout. It’s always dope getting chunks of lore like that ins shows but especially in AT because it’s so goddamn rich. I watched this thing a few days ago and i fell in love it all over again. This is the best Adventure Time can be and Stakes doesn’t disappoint.

Go With Me

Bro, i love Go With Me. It’s literally just a series of misunderstandings and shenanigans. Adorable, adorable, shenanigans. This was my introduction to Marceline and it made a distinct impression. That laugh, that undercut, that sass; Bro, I was in love. More than that, the interaction with Finn and Jake was great but that playful little, “Hello, Bonnibel” follow by such a curt, “Yeah, yeah.” All you need to know about their relationship. Go With Me is easily my favorite episode of Adventure Time. It’s just so goddamn awesome and chock full of nostalgia to me. But no tongue.

Honorable Mentions: Gotcha, Ocarina, Another Way, Ricardio the Heart Guy, Belly of the Beast, Fiona and Cake, Henchman, The Limit, Ocean of Fear, Bad Little Boy, King Worm, I Came From the Nightosphere, Wheels, The Eyes, Davey, Memory of a Memory, The Real You, Marcy and Hunson, Dad’s Dungeon, Jake vs. Me-Mow, Literally anything with Lemongrab, Puhoy, The Creeps, Dentist, Daddy-Daughter Card Wars, Return to the Nightoshere and Daddy’s Little Monster, Come Along With Me

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #318

“what can you do, where can ya go, when your mama is a burnout, and your daddy is a pyro?”

Do you have your ears pierced more than once? Yeah. Do you use an electric toothbrush? Yes. When was the last time you changed in front of someone? Oh, I have no idea. That's something I avoid like the plague because I loathe my body. When was the last time you got high? Never. Do you get along with your parents? Yeah. How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? None. Have you ever used a Ouija board? No, I don't fuck with that stuff. Have you ever met anyone who claimed to be a witch? Yes. Do you go along with prank-callers, or just hang up? I don't answer numbers I don't recognize to begin with. Would you ever tattoo a lover’s name onto your body? Nooooo. Do you own any version of Guitar Hero? I have a lot of 'em. Do you use mouthwash every single day? No. Do you know anyone with asthma? Yeah, my mom. Have you ever walked through a forest at night on your own? Uh, no sir. When was the last time you were in a graveyard? It's been many, many years. Do you know what an ‘AMV’ is? Yep, used to make 'em. How many items are in your recycle bin? (On your computer!) Oh yikes, probably loads. I haven't emptied it in... I don't know how long. Would you rather be a bird or a fish? A bird. What’s one award show you have to watch every year? None. Who do you like more: the Batman or the Joker? Joker. Heath Ledger's is my favorite. Have you ever had a pet rock? No. How much do you weigh? Yeah, no. If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Taking nature photographs. Have you ever lost your luggage at an airport? No. Have you ever been on a rollercoaster that actually scared you? I don’t do roller coasters to begin with. Have you ever gone in a sauna? Ugh, hell no. Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? No. Have you ever had an eating disorder? No. Are you attracted to people outside of your race? Yes. Are you in love with anyone at the moment? No. Have you ever dated someone more than once? No. Best cough drop? Those creamy strawberry ones. If you have a pet, does it make a lot of noise? One's a snake, so she's silent as could be. My cat is generally quiet, but he has his times where he just walks around meowing, normally for attention. Are you a fan of eyeshadow? If I actually wear makeup, yeah, I like black eyeshadow. Can you tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi? Absolutely. I don't like Pepsi. Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? Done it before, didn't feel weird. Besides furniture, what’s the biggest thing in your bedroom? A Silent Hill poster. Which of your friends makes you laugh the hardest? Girt. Have you ever been in a Catholic confessional? Yeah, as a kid. What color was the hair of the last person you kissed? Brown. What was the title of the last song you listened to? So today I've really been digging dark synthwave/cyberpunk-ish music, and right now I have a playlist on that's currently playing "DNA War" by Absolute Valentine and Billy Mays. How far away is the closest Walmart? Not even five minutes. Can you do a backflip? No. Who is the lead singer of your favorite band? Well, Ozzy is the lead singer of Ozzy Osbourne, haha. When was the last time you went fishing? Not since Sara visited and we went catfishing with my dad one night. What brand of deodorant do you use? Secret. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yes. Do you regret it? Nah. Who was the last person to buy you a drink? My mom, lmaoooo. Who was the last person to buy you dinner? Also my mom, haha. How old is the oldest person you’ve dated? Juan's maybe like... 28 or something by now, idk. Have you ever run a stoplight? No. Have you ever dated someone & then dated their sibling? YIKES, no. That sounds miles beyond awkward. Are both your parents still living? Yeah, thankfully. What’s something that makes you feel more creative? Music, for sure. Do you collect Mason jars to use for crafts? No, but I do find those super cute. What gives you a quality of life? Not much nowadays, idk. What would give you a high quality of life? A sense of purpose, direction, and worth. Do you have any rugs on top of carpet in your home? We have a big one in our living room, yes. I don't get it. Do you have a mattress cover on your bed? Yeah. Do you hate taking naps during the day? No; naps are normal for me. Who has the best personality on YouTube? Maybe I'm biased, but I genuinely do think Mark for a multitude of reasons. He's just extremely likable imo and sincerely a fucking spectacular human being. Do you have any vinyl records? No, but I would love to collect classic rock and metal ones. Which serial killer(s) do you find most fascinating? I'm quite honestly not well-informed in serial killer stories. I think they're interesting, but not enough for me to learn about them. Have you ever visited any celebrity gravesites? No. How do you feel about archaeology? It's fuckin dope. Any animals whose behaviors you find particularly interesting? ALL OF THEM AHHHH!!!!! But I particularly love learning about social animals, like meerkats (mongoose in general, really), African wild dogs, wolves, etc. What are your thoughts on gun control? I don't support the idea of banning firearms altogether, but I am very much in favor of some reform. There needs to be a much, much more strict and complex system in order for you to legally own a gun, and I also support periodic "check ups" to ensure you still fit whatever criteria is laid out. "Bad people will still find guns;" yes, some most certaintly will, but you can't convince me that the numbers wouldn't decrease. It would take a serious villain to put so much effort into pursuing obtaining a firearm. Do you like animals better than most humans? Sure do. Have you ever had to block people online for harassing you? I've blocked people to prevent that. If you collect anything, what is your favorite piece of that collection? I cherish the plush meerkat Jason gave me most, probably; out of my Silent Hill stuff, the limited edition Revelation flyer I have in Japanese. Are you friends with anybody you didn’t like at first? Hi, meet my best friend lmao. Are there any musicians you didn’t like at first, but grew on you? Probably. Do you have any favorite books you’d like to have signed by the author? Not really. Well wait, Ozzy signing my copy of his autobiography would be pretty damn cool. Do you like any board games or card games? I'm not really a board game fan, but Magic: The Gathering is fun as far as card games go. What historical figure(s) are you most interested in? I'm not incredibly interested in any, but I do think Pharaoh Hatshepsut was a bad bitch. She was one of the extremely few female pharaohs, and if my memory serves me right, one of the most successful. Do you like Breaking Benjamin? I sure do. How many people of the opposite sex have you told you loved them? One. Have you ever had to change your phone number? Yes, because I was getting strange texts from numbers I didn't know. Have you ever played bingo at an actual bingo hall? No. What’s your favourite comic book/graphic novel? I don’t read any. What is something you take pride in? How far I've come as far as my mental illnesses go, particularly depression and PTSD. What’s the biggest magnet on your fridge? I'm not getting up to go look. Have you ever eaten a Big Mac? No; I hate lettuce on burgers, so. What brand is your vaccuum cleaner? Dunno. Do you believe in sex before marriage? Sure, but I don't believe it's a must for everyone. Plenty of people don't even want to get married. Be intimate once you're comfortable with the person, and be safe and smart about it. Are you for or against abortion? I'm pro-choice. Do you feel like you need to lose weight? It's fact that I need to. My body just doesn't want to, afuckingpparently. All I seem to be capable of is either maintain or gain nowadays. Is summer your favorite season? It's my least favorite, actually. Do you wear glasses? I'm basically blind without 'em. Can you say the alphabet in more than one language? Yeah, in German. What do you want out of life? To feel like I made a difference, even if it's a small one. Do you ever get carsick? No. Do you groom your eyebrows? Not really anymore, no. Have you ever liked someone who treated you badly? No. When was the last time you went in the car past midnight? Oh boy, probably not since I had my cyst in I think '16. I was in so much agony and we had no painkillers, so I had to wake up Mom to go to Walmart to grab some. They barely even helped at all. God, I couldn't imagine dealing with that again. Were your last two kisses with the same person? Yes. Do you have alcohol in your house? I don't think we do right now, no. Do you have any personal fashion rules that revolve around your own preferences/body type (e.g., you never/always wear a certain color, sleeve type, or length of dress)? Yeah; I don't wear anything that shows my legs unless I shaved, but I will never wear a dress that isn't at least past my knees. Do you remember any celebrity whose style you admired when you were a teen? What do you think of that style now? Avril Lavigne was/is an ICON. I still think she looks badass. So, is it gif with a hard G or soft G? I used to say the opposite, but I say "gif" now. Apparently that's how the creator of the term says it anyway. When you are invited to things like wedding showers or baby showers do you tend to go or skip? What about graduation parties? If Mom is able to take me, I'll try to go to the first two if they're my closer friends. Do you like spicy chips? Oh FUCK yes. What’s the last movie you watched at a friend’s house? Elf with Sara's fam. Can you remember your parents’ birthdays? Mom's, yes. Dad's, only the month. Do you read your friends' surveys? Yep, I love learning about them. Do you know anyone with a glass eye? Not to my knowledge, no. Do you ever use the n-word? Absolutely not. What piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? I tend to like lip piercings. Do you prefer beef, chicken or steak? Chicken. Ever spent the night in a tent? Yeah, multiple times as a kid, "camping" in the yard with Dad, haha. What do you call your grandparents? I called both sets just "Grammy" and "Grampa." Have you ever cried while reading a book? Oh, certainly. How many college degrees do you want? I got none, and I'm not going back to college. Do you know how to play pool? What about foosball? Yes. Have you ever attended a professional sporting event? Yeah, hockey with my dad a few times. Do you own any jerseys? No. Were you born with naturally straight teeth? No; that's why I had braces. If you were the opposite gender, what name would you like to be called? Maybe like... Victor. Idk. Do you prefer original or sour Skittles? I love both, but sour. Do you like bacon bits on your salad? Yeah. What is your favorite kind of soup? I'm not a soup person. Did you learn to type through a computer program for kids? Yeah. What do you take for pain? Advil/Ibuprofen. What is your favorite place that you’ve lived? My pre-teen and teenage years house: in the woods on a dead-end road and down a gravel path that everyone always missed when learning where our house was. The actual road itself had very, very little traffic, and there was a large expanse of cotton fields. I loved it and miss the house itself, but it's got a lot of bad memories rotting in it. Who are your favorite kids that you’ve babysat? My niece and nephew. <3 Who is your favorite cousin? I don't have a favorite. We barely interact at all. Does one side of your family live in another state? Literally none of my extended family (or half-siblings) live in NC. What states did your parents grow up in? New York and Ohio. Have you ever had an allergic reaction to an insect? No. Is there a good hospital where you live? God no. It is notoriously awful. When was the last time you were asked out? Did you accept or decline? Mid-2017. I aceepted. Does your job allow piercings or tattoos? N/A Do you want to get married? If so, what color will your dress be? Yeah. Probably white/ivory or black. Ever had a caricature done of yourself? How much was it, and were you satisfied with it? No. Do you like peanut butter and fluff sandwiches? No, I don't like the texture. If you got married and then got divorced, would you want to re-marry? Probably not. What’s your favorite amusement park? I haven't been to nearly enough to know. Do you play video games? If so, what kind? Yeah. My favorite are horror games, but I also love me some story-driven survival games like The Last of Us, and then there's "kids" games like Spyro, etc. I like a looot of different kinds. Would you buy used clothes? I don't think so. I know it's easy to wash clothes and stuff, I'd just still feel kinda... grossed out by it.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Why did you last feel like crying? This past weekend I was just extra moody and on the verge of tears.

How long ago and why did you last feel infuriated? I get easily irritated and frustrated, but it’s been awhile since I’ve felt infuriated.

Do emotions control you or do you control your emotions? My emotions got control over me a few years ago and I haven’t been able to gain it back. :/

Do you keep your friends secrets/private information to yourself? Yes.

What negative quality do your friends bring up the most? I wouldn’t want friends who did that. I do that enough myself as it is, I don’t need anyone else pointing out all my negative qualities all the time.

What quality do you think you have that others don’t think you do? I don’t know. I feel like people in my life overestimate my abilities rather than the other way around. I feel a lot of pressure to maintain that illusion. <<< Same in regards to feeling like people overestimate my abilities. Although, in terms of the long list of negative qualities I believe I have, my loved ones would disagree on a lot of them.

Do you often “jump” to conclusions? Yeppp. Always the worst ones, too.

Do you find being alone with strangers scary, interesting or indifferent? It could be scary depending on the situation, but I’d definitely feel anxious and uncomfortable.

Do you think you know a lot about the world? There’s a lot more I don’t know.

Do you know first aid?   No. 

Does the sight of blood make you feel sick? Y Yes. It makes me feel weak. I can’t even look when having blood drawn and getting it done makes me sweaty and weak.

Does your first name have an L in it? Nope.

Middle name have a C in it? Nope.

Last name have a R in it? Yes.

Do your initials spell a legitimate word? If so, what?  Nope. The word above, does it have any connection to you at all? 

Do you prefer classic rock or nope alternative? Nope alternative?

Do you like Kings of Leon? Yeah. I loved when Sex on Fire first came out.

How about The Script? Yes.

Does crying make you feel better? Sometimes.

Do you know a girl called Becca? Nope.

How about a guy called Gregory? No.

Does someones background effect whether you’ll be friends with them or not Uh, well yeah. Like if they have a sketchy background or have done things I’m not comfortable with.

How about their religious background? I’d have a problem with a satanist or if they were involved in a cult.

If someone admitted cheating in a past relationship of theirs, would you trust them? That would likely make things complicated, but I guess it would depend on the situation. Although, you’re likely just getting their side of it and it may not be accurate or they’re leaving things out that paint them in a better light than their ex. It would just really, really depend on the situation and it’d take a lot of communication.

Do you drink tea and/or coffee every day? Coffee, yes.

Did you ever want to be a cook as a kid? No.

How about a fashion designer? No.

Do you wish that magic was real? I mean sure it’d be dope to make something you want appear or happen whenever you want. It could also be tricky, though, and used for the wrong reasons.

What food would you love to wipe off the face of the earth? I’m picky, so there’s a lot of foods I don’t like, but plenty of other people enjoy them so I’m not going to wipe it off the earth just cause I don’t like it.

Can you use a bottle opener? Yeah...

Do you own a cheese grater? Nope.

What time will it be in 38 minutes time? 4:26AM.

What day/date will it be in 11 days time? May 25th. Damn.

Have you ever owned a pet fish? Y Yep. I had a fish tank full of fish as a kid.

Do you prefer fire or ice? Fire in terms of bonfires and in a fireplace for the comfy, coziness of it and I love the smell of it during the fall. I don’t use ice in my drinks, so, not a big fan.

Do you rap along with rap songs? Ha, well my attempt to rap along.

When happy, do you become more talkative? Yeah.

Bowling or sailing? Why? Bowling I guess if I had to pick out of the two. Have no interest in either one, though.

What colour is your kettle? I don’t have one.

How about your microwave? Black.

Do you prefer sitting in the front or back of a car? Front.

How about in a train? On the bus? I’ve always had to sit in the middle on buses cause that’s where the wheelchair spots are.

Do you care about politics? I admit that I really haven’t been following closely these past few years. I used to pay more attention, but I just... can’t. It’s too much.

Obama or Bush?

Blair or Brown?

When did you last cook something from scratch? I don’t cook from scratch. The only cooking I do is packaged ramen.

What things make you jealous? Im rarely jealous. <<< Same. I feel envy more than jealousy.

Do you think the censors/fcc go a bit too far or are just right?  I am confused as to why it’s okay certain curse words but not others. And I really don’t get why in “asshole” just the “hole” part is bleeped out lol. Do you feel hungry, thirsty, sleepy or none of the above?  Right now I’m just sleepy.

What’s your Mum’s Mum called? How about your Dad’s Dad? Lupe/Charles. 

Do you prefer crepes, pancakes or waffles? Waffles and crepes.

Do you have ice-cream in your fridge right now? I think we have some.

How about chicken nuggets? Not chicken nuggets, but my brother has a bag of chicken wings.

Do you eat fish often? Never. I hate seafood. <<<< Saaaame.

Have you ever taken a martial art? Which one{s}? Nope.

Do you know anyone who is scared of you? I can’t imagine anyone being afraid of me, a stick thin, super shy, and awkward af girl. haha.

What person who has died would you bring back and why? I wouldn’t mess around with bring people back from the dead. I believe I’ll see them again one day.

Do you like watermelon? Yeah. I couldn’t tell you the last time I had any, though.

Can you remember the month of your first kiss? October. I remember that because it happened at my high school drama department’s haunted house. 

Do you make friends easily? No. I also don’t try to to be honest.

What makes you different from everyone else? DNA <<< Hahaha welp that most certainly does.

I give you a piece of paper. What do you draw/write on it? I’d do random doodles and write random words in cursive cause that’s what I do when I doodle.

What pictures or photos are up in your lounge? Is that like the living room? If so, we have a few framed photos on the shelves we have.

Do you like purple and white patterned things? Sure.

Do you know anyone called Pipa? No.

I say purple, you think… It’s my mom’s favorite color.

What do you think is the most interesting thing about you? Nothing.

Do you like being complimented or does it make you uncomfortable? They’re nice, I’m just super awkward.

Does the description of your starsign correspond with your personality? Nope. I’m so opposite of how a Leo is described.

Do you have a photo album? Yeah, several old photo albums (physical ones) and several on Facebook and my phone.

What artists paintings do you find the most beautiful? I don’t necessarily go for beauty in art. My favourite painters are Dali, Kandinsky, and Klimt. Weird over beauty for me. <<< That’s how I am. One of my favorites is The Scream by Edvard Munch. I like the melting clocks one by Dali, too.

What about the most disturbing? Hmm. There’s definitely paintings I’ve seen that I thought were disturbing, but of course I can’t think of a specific one at the moment.

Have you ever gone to a camp or summer school? I’ve been to two camps: science camp and Girl Scout camp. I also had to do summer school once in the 6th grade cause I missed a lot of school due to spending months in the hospital and at home after having surgery. I voluntarily took a few summer classes in college.

What was your favourite cartoon as a child? A lot of the stuff that was on Nickelodeon, Disney Channel, PBS, WB Kids, and Saturday morning cartoons on ABC.

What was your biggest fear as a child? Bugs.

Would you rather be able to fly or breathe underwater? Fly.

What about invisibility or mindreading? Invisibility.

Do you like what you see in the mirror? Nopeee.

Can you remember all your past teachers names? Not all of them, but a lot of them.

Do you like talent shows? Which ones? I enjoyed when we had talent show assemblies in elementary school. Those were fun.

Have you ever failed an important exam? In what? Yes, in math.

Do you find people taller than you intimidating? Just about everyone is taller than me.

Do you think you are better than people of a different country/background? Wow, absolutely not. I don’t think I’m better than anyone.

What’s your favourite thing about your country? We have our issues and I know other countries make fun of us, but we have a lot of good qualities and I like where I’m from.

Who is your favourite bzoinker? I don’t go on there.

What websites do you have bookmarked? The ones on the toolbar are Google, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, YouTube, Pinterest, and a couple PDFs from Bible studies.

Do you use bows and ribbons to decorate your gifts? Yeah. I love wrapping presents and making them look all nice and pretty.

Do you listen to the same type of music as your parents? What type is that? We like a lot of the same, yeah. Especially my mom and I.

What TV show scared you as a kid? Are You Afraid of the Dark haha but I also loved to watch it. That intro is what really got me. Oh, and Unsolved Mysteries. That was a show about real life mysteries and murders and such. 

Family Guy, The Simpsons or South Park? Why? Out of the three I’d pick Family Guy, but I’m not into any of them. My family loves Family Guy so I see parts of episodes here and there all the time and I’m familiar with it. Sometimes it’ll give me a little chuckle.

[radinaandreeva]

Cold Interview: Year of the Spider - By Therese McKeon (From: ShoutWeb.com)

Scooter Ward is an emotional guy. In fact, as frontmen go, you can't get much more emotional. With "Year of the Spider", the band's third release, you find yourself feeling sad, angry, and even a bit weepy along with the raw-nerved singer. Discovering the diverse layers of Cold's music is as refreshing as it is depressing. The carefully weaving of Scooter's haunting vocals intertwines powerful songs with lyrics that have remarkable substance. Shoutweb hooked up with Cold's leading man for an often teary-eyed discussion of the meaning behind the tracks on "Year of the Spider" and why he pours his heart into his songs.

Kelly Hayes • guitar Scooter Ward • vocals Jeremy Marshall • bass Sam McCandless • drums Terry Balsamo • guitar

Shoutweb: Hey, how are you feeling? I heard you were sick a while back?

Scooter: I had something wrong with my throat. I had to get a shot in there so I could sing.

Shoutweb: Did you have to cancel any dates?

Scooter: We cancelled one actually because of that. It was in Omaha I think. They stick a needle in your throat then they give you something so the pain from sticking the needle in your throat is okay. I was like, "You know what, man? I'm just sleeping tonight."

Shoutweb: You started out in the Boston area with shows. How is the new material live?

Scooter: We've been together for so long and I think everything is getting better. We finally got the right crew and everybody so everything is really good.

Shoutweb: In the past when I've seen you live, I know you were sometimes frustrated with not getting the sound right.

Scooter: We had a major problem with that but we've finally worked everything out now.

Shoutweb: That's awesome. The times I've seen you live, things that may sound fine to me I could tell were not sounding right for you.

Scooter: (with cell phone ringing)

Shoutweb: Do you need to get that?

Scooter: No, that's just Terry. Fuck him. (laughter) Whenever he wakes up, he calls me. I'm always like, "What? Did you need to tell me about your dreams?"

Shoutweb: (laughter) Or "I missed you!"

Scooter: Yeah, right. "I've got coffee over here for you, baby." (laughter) I don't know what to tell him. It's a total waste of time. He thinks something special happened.

Shoutweb: He doesn't want to miss out. (laughter)

Scooter: It's funny though.

Shoutweb: Are you like the Dad of the band? Is everybody always checking in?

Scooter: It seems like that. They all check in with me to see what's happening or what they need to do. But I don't mind.

Shoutweb: Are you militant in that way?

Scooter: I'm not militant in that way but I am in the "get your fuckin' job done" kind of way, you know? I do so much that I think that they feel kind of guilty sometimes. They are always saying, "Well, man, we'll do something." When I give them shit to do, they're really stoked.

Shoutweb: You run a tight ship there. "You gotta step up!"

Scooter: I'm like, "Come on, man. You want to do this? Let's do this."

Shoutweb: You guys haven't been on tour for a while. I know September 11th did not help matters.

Scooter: We toured right up until then. We did a little headlining tour with Flaw and Dope and then we kind of stopped.

Shoutweb: Then the Weezer tour that went sour.

Scooter: The Weezer show was actually on the same day as the September 11th events. We were supposed to start the tour that night. I remember we were all at the hotel down in the lobby watching shit go down that morning. I ate a biscuit and went back to bed. I said, "If shit's going to be going down, I'm going to be dreaming."

Shoutweb: (laughter)

Scooter: (laughter) Fuck it.

Shoutweb: I need to ask you a bunch of things about this record. I don't know if it's because I have the flu right now or what but I literally almost starting crying.

Scooter: Yeah, I think that's what it was made for. I think once people actually get the lyrics that I really sing instead of making them up on the web sites, then they'll know what I'm talking about. I think when they really get them, because the stuff I'm reading is crap. When you read the real thing, it is way worse. That's how we write. I think that's what we need to do. I just feel like we need to do that. It's good therapy for us and for our fans that are so much like us. It's good that they can express the pain through that.

Shoutweb: Are you solely responsible for the lyrics?

Scooter: Yes. The music pretty much tells me what to do.

Shoutweb: Musically, this record is great but lyrically it's even better.

Scooter: Well, I do a lot of the music too. I really work on the music with the band then I kind of separate myself and go to write lyrics. I focus on the music first because it tells us what to write for lyrics.

Shoutweb: Wow, it's amazing. It's all such a foreign process to me.

Scooter: Me too.

Shoutweb: I usually will first listen to a record when I get it and take notes and then I listen to it a few more times. But with this record, just to enjoy it is such a pleasure.

Scooter: Well, thank you very much.

Shoutweb: It's strange because it is still very depressing and emotional but it is refreshing at the same time.

Scooter: It was really opening up. This is a really personal record. Like I was saying, we've written records before and I've written records that are just story telling a lot. I draw those emotions from me and the band and I just went off farther and kind of developed stories for them. But on this record, it's pretty much really about our lives and really about what we're going through. If I start crying during this interview, because I do that all the time when I start talking about this.

Shoutweb: Are you serious?

Scooter: Yeah.

Shoutweb: You're going to make me cry too. Well, this is what I wrote down about the whole record in my notes. You cannot sing these words and have them ring true, unless these things have happened to you. Now, I didn't mean it to rhyme but basically there you go. That was the feeling that it left me with. This is just too much.

Scooter: It was kind of like that when we were making the record and I was writing the lyrics in Hawaii because I can't write in Los Angeles.

Shoutweb: Really? You can't?

Scooter: Yeah, I don't know why. It's really weird. There's something in the air. We can do music in Los Angeles but I can't write the lyrics in Los Angeles. I don't get it. What happens is, I would come in and write these songs and they would be totally different topics of what they are now. I spoke to Howard Benson before I did this record and I was like, "Dude, I'm gonna make you cry by the time I bring the song in because I want you to understand. I want you to really feel this with me. Because if you can't, then you can't produce this record." I would bring the songs in and he would tell me, "Man, it's almost there but it's not yet." He'd tell me, "I feel that but I don't feel that." What that did to me is just made me open up more. I knew when I was done. I came in there like, "All right mother fucker, this is it. You're going to love this." When I started playing it for him, he'd say, "Dude, it's over. Go ahead." He pushed me a lot so that was cool. I thank him for doing that because nobody's ever done that before. A lot of other producers will just let the band do what they do. They'll say, "Great! Sounds good!" They don't really discipline the vocals or the lyrics because they don't want to get the singer mad. Howard was saying, "Dude, you just told me what you wanted to do with this record. If you actually want to do this then you have to take my advice and you have to listen." His criticism was good.

Shoutweb: I watched the "Stupid Girl" video. You guys look cold!

Scooter: Initially, we wanted to play on a frozen river. They wouldn't let us do it because of the liability of having all the kids on black ice. We had to do it at an elementary school but we still did it where it was freezing. It was cold. We didn't want any Hollywood manufactured cold. If we were going to do it, we wanted to freeze just like everybody else.

Shoutweb: (laughter) But you are Cold so that works on many levels.

Scooter: Right. It seems to follow us. The first six dates of this tour were freezing.

Shoutweb: So, Rivers is guesting on that song?

Scooter: Yeah, I think he's on the pre-chorus. He actually did the first verse initially when he sent it to me. I was on the second verse because "wanna love ya, wanna bug ya"... I don't know but I kind of had a problem with singing that because that's really Rivers. The second verse, I could deal with.

Shoutweb: How did his involvement come about?

Scooter: I had written a Weezer riff in the studio and it sounded like a Weezer song. I couldn't come up with anything for the verses. I had the chorus but every time I played the chorus I heard Rivers voice in there freaking me out. I said, "I am going to send the music to someone who maybe could tell him." So, we went out to dinner a couple of times while we were making the record. He came to our house for parties and stuff. I was like, "Hey, man, you gotta hear this song." Finally, two weeks before the record was done I sent him the track and a week later he sent me back the "Stupid Girl" verses. I was stoked. I was like, "Let's do it." After hearing me sing on the second verse, he wanted me to sing the first verse too. He really likes my vocals a lot and told me that he would feel embarrassed having his own spot. We kind of fought about that for a minute but he won in the end.

Shoutweb: I'd really like to spend some time going through these songs. I don't want a record like this to get shoved in there with all the other records out there.

Scooter: That's cool. That's pretty much impossible for it to get lost.

Shoutweb: It's just a beautiful piece of work.

Scooter: When we play the live shows now, and when people listen to the record. I mean, this is our third record and, even on previous tours where people have heard our record before, there is just no feeling like there is now. When we play live, I have such a different feeling. It feels perfect. This is finally what we wanted to do. It has just that much emotion that we wanted to put out. I think it's undeniable. I really don't think that anybody can say that it's a bad record. If they do, I will be like, "I don't know what you're listening to right now, bro." I don't get it.

Shoutweb: By the time I got to tracks eight and nine, forget about it. I hit "Rain Song" and I just lost it. But let's not jump ahead. "Remedy", to me, has almost a punk rock vibe.

Scooter: With "Remedy" we used the old Cold vibe, like off the first record, the song "Give". We kind of wrote the music around that. One thing with the records we make, we always do it for us but we also do it for our fans. We don't want to feel like we're short-changing them. All of these bands seem to totally change their format like Korn and other bands bringing in crazy beats and rappers and weird stuff. We're going to have songs that are mainstream on this record. Our music has developed and that's just going to happen but at the same time we wanted to incorporate elements of the first two records. We didn't want to get pigeonholed by people saying that we totally changed and sound totally different. Because it's not. It's the same, just better.

Shoutweb: There is this drum/bass thing going on that I love. What are the lyrics about?

Scooter: Lyrically, it's about wanting to be an individual. Throughout my life, I've always had people... I'm not the best person in the world and I have my mistakes just like anyone else. It's just about other people. When you make a mistake or you do something or sometimes you're not sure if it's a mistake or not. You're saying to yourself, "Am I wrong or is this my life?" I've valued people's opinions all my life but I really don't give a fuck. It's about being an individual and about saying, "I'm doing this on my own and if it doesn't work out then it doesn't work out."

Shoutweb: "Suffocate" has a female vocal on it.

Scooter: That's Sierra Swan. She was on our second record "13 Ways To Bleed On Stage". She was on a song called "Witch" and "No One". She's just a really good friend of mine. She's been a friend of mine for the last seven years. I saw her play a little club in L.A. and she sounded like Susie Sue to me. I just fell in love with her. I was just like, "Dude, you have to sing with me." She is like the sixth member of our band. Actually, she got signed on Atlantic Records and she's working with The Neptunes right now. She's supposed to have a record coming out in the Fall.

Shoutweb: "Suffocate" seems pretty straightforward.

Scooter: That is one of the most straightforward songs. It's about a relationship where you feel smothered and suffocated. Sometimes when you're in a position like I am, you have people who will be your friend or try to be your friend just because of what you're doing. You lie and you fake. I'm just kind of going, "Fuck, I really thought that you were sincere and that you were trying to be cool. In the end, it's to benefit you." I guess I'm going to run across those people my whole life. I write songs about them so I it's all right.

Shoutweb: Good therapy.

Scooter: I always figured that I could read people really well. I did a good job for a while. At a certain point, there are a lot of people and you're judgment gets a little clouded as to who these people are and what they want to be in your life. Your filters aren't out and you let a lot of people in and weed out the bad ones.

Shoutweb: Even good people turn ugly. It's like "The Lord of the Rings" when you get obsessed with the ring "my precious".

Scooter: Exactly.

Shoutweb: "Cure My Tragedy (A Letter to God)" is definitely powerful.

Scooter: When I was going to write this record, my sister was dying of cancer. (pause) It started in her ovaries and then went into her brain. It started taking over her body.

Shoutweb: I'm sorry to hear that.

Scooter: The hardest thing for me was to be away from her. She's my little sister. She's 27 so she's not little but she'll always be my little sister. It was really hard to be away from her because I've been there trying to protect her my whole life. When something like this happens, there is nothing you can do except for hope. I was away doing the record and I really wanted to be there for her and be with her through the chemo and stuff. She would call and be crying and be all upset about it. It was really hard for me to be on the other side of the country. Making a record really meant nothing to me at that point. I was like, "This is crap. I gotta be home with my sister." She was like, "You can't do that. It means a lot to me. Just write a song for me." (long pause) And I did. It's kind of like a letter to God saying, "If you made the world a stage for me then..." (pause) What kind of happened was amazing. Right when the record was done, and I gave her the song, it left her brain and it's clearing up now so it's kind of amazing.

Shoutweb: Oh my goodness. The power of prayer, even in a song.

Scooter: Yeah, it's weird. Now the next time you hear that song, it will have a totally different meaning.

Shoutweb: Thank you for sharing that.

Scooter: I have to do this. I checked with everybody that I was writing these songs about and I was like, "It might be painful for me to bring this stuff up and write songs about it."

Shoutweb: "Stupid Girl" is more of a lighter theme.

Scooter: "Stupid Girl" was a chance for me to breathe kind of. I was like, "Rivers, thank you!" I don't have to fuckin' cry or think about the dark side of everything on this song. When he sent me those lyrics, the second verse still sounds like a Cold verse to me and the chorus definitely does so it's still Cold in a lot of ways. I detach myself from it because he did the verses so it definitely means something to me but not as much as the other ones. I don't know what his version of "Stupid Girl" is but I think I have a version. My version of it and what I see through it is that you could just be a total piece of trash and at the same time, you don't know that you are. You have this person that's going to leave you and you don't have any idea why. A lot of people are blind to the fact that they are idiots.

Shoutweb: (laughter) Funny.

Scooter: (laughter) You know? I don't know. It's going to be funny because I'm sure a lot of people are going to hear the "Stupid Girl" hook and say, "Hey, it's about a stupid girl." But not really. It's about a stupid man, that doesn't know he's stupid.

Shoutweb: "Don't Belong" has that light, squeaky guitar.

Scooter: "Don't Belong" was pretty much about me growing up. I was always a little odd compared to other people and really quiet. I have people come up to me and them saying, "He's such an asshole because he doesn't talk" or "We see him out and he just sits there." Well, I don't know what to say to you. I don't know what to do to you to make you think and make you understand that I'm all right. It's about everybody's pre-conceptions about me or certain things that have happened to us. It's just feeling like we don't belong. I don't even go out to clubs anymore or anything because when I do I feel like an idiot. I have drunk people coming up to me saying crazy shit. I just don't feel like I belong there. It's the same thing when I go to L.A. I just don't feel like I belong with those kinds of people. It's so fake and so untrue. I'm trying to be as true as I can to people. For them to be sitting there with me at the same table and be affiliated with me kind of freaks me out. I usually say, "Well, this is the business part of it. I'm just going to have to deal with these people to do what I want to do with this music in order to put it out." I think it's just about not feeling that I'm a part of what they think I'm a part of.

Shoutweb: "Wasted Years" has a lot layered vocals, which come across very powerful to me.

Scooter: "Wasted Years" is pretty much. I've had a lot of problems with alcohol and drugs at times in my life. I was ashamed of myself at points. I've always been the guy who knows that he has problems. Nobody ever had to tell me, "Man, I think you've got a problem." I would wake up the next morning and say, "Man, I've got a fuckin' problem!" I know that I was fucked up. I always tried to fix myself but I'd always fall back sooner or later and go right back to the same bullshit that I was doing before. I feel like I've wasted so much time in my life by doing that. It's amazing because I'll probably still fall back again. I think that's actually part of who I am so I don't know if I care if I do. Hopefully, one day I'll be better but I don't know. It's really about my personal life and just how I feel about me. "Betraying life was the life I betrayed with the shape that I'm in." It's hard. It's not easy to win. I think that maybe things would have been better if I would have been more focused and sober and blah, blah, blah but... that didn't happen. What's the condition I'm in now because of what I've done?

Shoutweb: Do you have any regrets?

Scooter: The regrets that I have are people that I may have hurt in the period of time that it was happening. That's probably it. The people that I probably have affected throughout that time.

Shoutweb: Tell me about "Whatever You Became".

Scooter: "Whatever You Became" is about whenever we tour on the road. We meet all these people. It's cool and a lot of them are like friends. They're not really like fans. I don't think of them as fans. I think of them as like a family thing.

Shoutweb: A lot of those friends are complaining because they were putting live MP3s on the web site and they got banned from the boards.

Scooter: Really? They were putting live MP3s out?

Shoutweb: Yeah, I was asking people if they had any questions for you and they said, "Ask him what he thinks about them banning us from the boards!" It was the new material.

Scooter: I think that's pretty cool to put those out there as long as they're live versions. That is unless the sound is total shit. They may have heard the sound quality and said fuck that. I didn't know about that. What was I saying?

Shoutweb: You were telling me about "Whatever You Became".

Scooter: Oh, yeah. We meet these friends and we become friends with them over the years and we leave them the next night. It's like seeing your family for a quick visit and then you have to jet. You never know what happens to these people or if you'll ever see them again. I think I take everything too personally. I love everybody too much. And I really care about how they feel and how they're dealing with what they're going through. It's just kind of strange.

Shoutweb: You have a big heart.

Scooter: I know. It's a curse.

Shoutweb: Some people say that artists in general feel more deeply than other people. They have those extra sensors that are out there all the time. They either block everything out and become very introverted or they absorb everybody else's problems and emotions.

Scooter: I almost wanted to do that for a minute. And then I was like, "Why would I do that?" Let's be the first rock band that actually makes everybody feel welcome and everybody feel like they're really a part of something instead of coming to see some guy on stage and wondering. Because when I was a kid, rock stars were unapproachable. They were kind of in mystery land. They appeared, played, and then went back to heaven or something. With this new record and the way we're doing this, I was like, "You know what? Why don't we be the first rock band that can really be there for our fans and really do this?" Because they're the most important thing to us besides the music and I don't want to fuck up either one of those things. I know that might be a lot to have on our plate but I have nothing else to do on my schedule today.

Shoutweb: (laughter) That's funny. "Can You Feel" is that changed?

Scooter: "Can You Feel" is actually called "Sad Happy". I changed the name. It's about this girl that followed around a little bit on the tour. She was by herself and she was really scaring me because she was getting rides from truck drivers and shit. She was offering favors to them and stuff. It was really scary. After a couple of shows I said, "Sweetheart, what are you doing? What's going on?" She said, "Well, I have to follow you." And blah, blah, blah. She started telling me her story and she told me that her father had molested her. (pause) And he had been raping her for her whole life. She was doing anything to follow us around. I told her, "You're 18 years old now and I don't know if that's cool to bring somebody out with us. I wish you could get focused. If you need help, I'll give it to you." I had given her some money to start out and get an apartment and maybe help her land a job. I kind of looked out for her but at the same time it was really emotional for me to deal with that and her going through that. I was feeling that I was the guy that was supposed to make everything better. I tried. I guess I did kind of do that because she's better now and she's away from him. In the song, I had written about her getting revenge on him. She burns him in a fire. (long pause) It's hard to re-hash that kind of shit.

Shoutweb: Those lyrics - wow! They mean a lot already but when you know the story that goes with it. "I will be strong, I will sing." That's about when I lost it.

Scooter: It happens. And then the "Can you feel" part in the bridge. That's probably definitely where it got to you. I was like, "Can she even feel anymore?" Because I would be numb if something happened to me like that. I was screaming, "Can she feel?"

Shoutweb: We got it easy.

Scooter: I had a great family. I really had a great, great family. It really freaks me out when people tell me stories because I know the things that happen. My pain comes from friends on drugs and fuckin' my whole life and just things around me. Definitely my family was always there to support me even though a lot of times I didn't want them to because I was so fucked up. I was the cool kid and I wouldn't take it from them or I always thought they were wrong or talking shit. I was like, "Whatever! You guys don't know what you're talking about. I'll figure this out." But obviously now, you understand that they were right.

Shoutweb: "Rain Song" has a violin sound in there. Is that what that is?

Scooter: Actually, it's keyboards. We just put it in there. Howard helped us find a good sound and we just used that. "Wasted Years" actually has thirteen violinists on it. It's the real deal but on "Rain Song" we just kind of through some keyboards in there. I'm a big Cure fan and I always incorporate that stuff into the music a little bit. I thought it was a little cooler in there.

Shoutweb: What is "Rain Song" about? Scooter: "Rain Song" is about... Actually it's weird because from my condo I can see it. It's about a block away where it happened from my balcony. When I had just gotten out of high school, my friend Jack and Becky had moved in together. They had gotten fucked up one night and when they went to bed an electrical outlet shorted or something and caught their curtains on fire. They had gotten burned alive. (pause) I was at my parents house sleeping and I remember that it was pouring down rain that morning. The phone rang and my Mom was like, "Oh my God." I knew it. I knew something had happened to one of my friends again. She came in and told me that Jack and Becky were in the hospital in the intensive care unit and that their bodies were burned and they don't think they're going to make it. I just remember the rain pouring down that rain and every time it rains, I think about her. (crying... again)

Shoutweb: So, there is no having to dig deep for these lyrics or themes. These are right on the surface for you. Raw.

Scooter: No. And after I tell you the story and you hear the song again, you'll definitely feel it too.

Shoutweb: So, no wonder Hawaii is a good place for you to write. It rains every day there.

Scooter: Actually, it's been raining a lot lately. It rained here this morning. Maybe I'll move somewhere that it doesn't rain.

Shoutweb: Speaking of rain, the next song is "Kurt". I am assuming that is about Kurt Cobain.

Scooter: That song is actually called "The Day Seattle Died". And it really wasn't for just Kurt. It was for Layne Staley actually. We were touring with Jerry Cantrell on the first record and we went to Seattle to play a Halloween show. Sean Kenny was with us and we wanted to meet Layne Staley because he was my idol. He was such a sick man at that point. They were like, "Man, he doesn't come out of his house." They finally got him to come out and get dressed up because it was Halloween. He got in a little costume and snuck in up there and nobody knew who he was. He sat down with me and hung out. It was amazing but at the same time, it was heartbreaking to see my idol looking like an 80-year-old man. It was really weird. It was the same thing with Kurt. I was driving home from work one day in Atlanta and I heard the news and I had to pull off the road. It hurt my heart. I'm just kind of talking about the impact that they had on everybody and the music industry and people's lives. When I sing, "We could all feel the shotgun hit the floor" I mean that because when I heard that I could totally just see it. I was just thinking, "That's not cool. What the hell just happened here?"

Shoutweb: Oh, I thought you were saying, "We could all feel the shock when you hit the floor."

Scooter: No, it's "We could all feel the shotgun hit the floor. Never mind the faith if you can't believe."

Shoutweb: I can hear that Seattle sound in that song.

Scooter: That's a big influence on us so I think that always rings true a little somewhere in our songs.

Shoutweb: So what about "Change The World"? It's not the "End of the World."

Scooter: We're always doing something with the world in a Cold record. "Change The World", okay, it's better now. (takes a deep breath) It's about affecting people's lives and not being able to deliver. Some times people expect so much from you and you're going, "Hold on a second." I never wanted to change the world. Everything's cool and everything's good but what did you expect me to do actually? Some times they expect too much from you and it's a little shocking. I try to be there for them as much as I can but some times I can't.

Shoutweb: Do you feel burdened?

Scooter: I don't feel burdened. When I have a lot of problems going on personally in my life and when I get everything else dumped on me too, it is a little heavy. You're like, "Hold on a second. I can't take much more." At the same time, I'm saying, "Wait a second. This is what you set out to do and this is what you wanted to do. Don't be a chump." I try to be strong for a lot of people but I am very weak inside, you know?

Shoutweb: What is "Black Sunday" about?

Scooter: "Black Sunday" is about my girlfriend, a few years ago. She was in a relationship and got married and had a little baby. Two weeks after the baby was born, it died in the crib.

Shoutweb: My Lord.

Scooter: I am with her through all this pain. I know what she goes through. It's really hard to take sometimes. I don't know what to do when things come up with babies and stuff like that. It's amazing and I just can't understand how a human being can handle it. I have a little girl and if anything ever happened to her, I don't what I would do. So, this is just a song for her. The whole time when people tell me these things, I talk to them about it but I guess I don't let them know that I really understand. I just try to give them positive vibes and solve the problem. I just say, "We can do this or that and hopefully everything will be better." The whole time knowing that it's really not going to be better but I'm trying to make it more positive. This was a song to her to let her know that I really understood what is going on. All those nights that she cried and all those nights that she talked about it, that I really, really understood where she was coming from.

Shoutweb: So, I guess you might call this a personal record!

Scooter: Definitely. There are not a lot of personal albums out there right now. I think it's a lot better than listening to a song about going to high school and getting a girlfriend.

Shoutweb: "Kill The Music Industry" is interesting.

Scooter: "Kill The Music Industry", now that's a good one! (laughter)

Shoutweb: (laughter) The machine gun noises are amusing only because of the title of the song.

Scooter: Actually, when we let the record company hear it, that was really funny because we were in the studio and they listened to it. I just looked at the look on their faces and said, "What do you think about that?" They said, "That is really fuckin' something buddy." I said, "It's not targeting you guys, you people sitting in this room. I'm just trying to target the whole music industry as a whole." The music industry says, "Well, this is what's hot right now. Let's shove it down everybody's throat." What they're shoving down people's throats and for the past year I can't stand. Everything is so monotonous and boring and unfeeling. When we write songs and when I write lyrics, if I don't get that chill down my spine then I don't think to put a song out like that. If it doesn't do anything for you then why would you want to share that with the world? But a lot of bands just fuckin' re-hash bullshit and good for them because some are very successful at it. I just think it's crap. I don't blame the bands because they're just doing it and maybe that's all they know how to write about. I blame the music industry because they force it on me. Some of the lyrics are, "They think they've changed your faith. They've gone too far. They mame the way you see. They think they'll can your life and control your mind but they can't relate to real life."

Shoutweb: And I know exactly what you're talking about.

Scooter: You know. If you know any big wigs in the music industry then you know what I'm talking about.

Shoutweb: Who is that singing in the background on that?

Scooter: We had a party. We had the guys from AM Radio, which is Rivers from Weezer's new band. We had the guys from Adema come out. They were all working in the same studio too so we just had a big party so they were all out there. A new band out of Jacksonville called Burn Season was there. Sierra Swan and her whole crew were there. We just got a bunch of people together and had a good time. We had fun doing that song in the studio. It's actually on the DVD. You can see it when it comes out. It's pretty funny.

Shoutweb: When does that come out?

Scooter: We have a DVD that's coming out with the CD. It's from the beginning of "Year of the Spider" to right now. You get to see the making of the "Stupid Girl" video and all that. The two weeks of shows we did. It's really cool but it's sad too. I didn't want another DVD out there where it's just like bands partying. We really don't party that much. We're more about the emotions and the music so I said, "Why don't we make an emotional DVD to go along with the emotional record?" So, everybody feels this too.

Shoutweb: Wow, that's awesome.

Scooter: Well, we have to do these things now. We have to sell CDs.

Shoutweb: Kids were asking about the artwork and the Chinese symbol. Is that the symbol for spider?

Scooter: No, that's the symbol for Cold. When we started this thing with the spider, it was kind of amazing because we didn't know that two thousand kids were going to go get it tattooed on there bodies. All these people have the Cold tattoo now. So, we said, let's do something new. So now there is a new tattoo out. So we all got the new tattoo for the "Year of the Spider" record. It's a way to be in touch with your fans and have something to share with them.

Shoutweb: You had fans sending in pictures of their tattoos for a possible cover?

Scooter: It never said it was going on the cover. Sometimes thirteen-year-old kids think that they understand what I was writing on there. I never said the cover but I always said it would be on the album. When you open it up, the two sleeves are the tattoo photos.

Shoutweb: I wanted to answer some questions from fans. What is the song "Serial Killer" about?

Scooter: I was trying to put myself in a child's place. I tried to feel what it would be like to be abducted by a serial killer, get away, and then look for him later in life or see him later in life and bring back all that emotion that happened when I was a kid. It was a story something like that.

Shoutweb: Some kids love to hear the old songs.

Scooter: We've played those songs so many times live. You just kind of get bored. With the new record and every time we make a new record, we always love the new stuff and we want to play that more. We'll always throw in songs off the old record but we would throw the singles off more because that's the way the business is. Until we have a big headlining tour, we only have 45 minutes to get it all in. We always want to put out the best songs and most emotional songs that we feel we have right now instead of going back seven years.

Shoutweb: "Year of the Spider" was a title you guys chose a while ago.

Scooter: After we made the record, we were thinking about what to call it. I said, "Dude, we're going to call it the year of the fuckin' spider because all of our friends have surpassed us and done great. I think we've made a record that is just as good if not better than all of theirs. I said, "Let's call is Year of the Spider because this is going to be it."

Shoutweb: What's happening touring wise?

Scooter: We're bringing Finger Eleven out with us because they're good friends of ours. Their music is really emotional too. We do 22 shows with Staind.

Shoutweb: Thank you for spending so much time with me.

Scooter: You're welcome. Thanks and take care.

http://www.geocities.ws/sadhappysite/interview3.html

[taeccicup]

Midpoint, chapter 1

Midpoint, chapter 1: Out of Daejeon

✤ post apocalypse!au (if that’s even a thing)

✤ Words: 2.5k 

✤ Pairing(s): taehyung x reader / OT7 x reader

✤ Warnings: mention of war, dead people, cruel behavior against women, light smut. mild language

A/N: Wow first chapter. I’m really excited! If you find any grammar mistakes, spelling mistakes or general mistakes don’t hesitate to tell me! English isn’t my first language, and I never say no to some help:)

The sunset has never looked stranger. The colours that appears on the sky has always been calming and stunning for the developed man sitting in his seat on his way out of the city in the Daejeon province. He is on his way to the countryside, out of the active capital in the province, to join the defensive army for his district. Almost every male that was born the same year as he ,had to join, it was nearly mandatory.

Taehyung had various feelings. He was excited. Excited to learn something new, to meet new people. You may think that Taehyung, a boy living in the capital of the Daejeon province always meet new people, but the truth is; He is ninety percent sure he has met every single person that is to be met in the capital. There isn’t that many people to meet either, because of the lack of people in the world.

He was nervous. His body had been having small shaking attacks the entire weak as an effect for his uneasy state. The only thing calming him, was his best friend Hoseok, who was in a deep sleep beside him on the train out of mainland Daejeon.

In 2267, a secret nuclear power plant near Busan exploded. It wasn’t a small explosion that would do consequences to the country, but it affected the entire planet. People didn't see the consequences before 3 years later when every woman with a functioning uterus died. Whatever they were developing on that nuclear power plant was something that almost killed the entire population of women. South Korea was a quick developer, surprisingly, and Busan instantly became an off-limits area. Half a decade later a revolution happened in the country, when people started to realise that the population would die out if women didn't start producing more children. The women that could produce, were locked inside huge special rooms, only for the purpose of increasing the human popularity. The women that couldn’t produce, were seemed as waist, and were thrown into Busan to die. After the war, the republic of Korea was cut into five provinces with the first commander and counselor on top in each province: The Gwangju-province, The Seoul-province, The Gangneung-si province, The Busan-province, often called the south, and lastly the Daejeon-province which is known as the midpoint, also the place where Taehyung and Hoseok comes from. Now, a little bit over a 100 years later and the system is still set.

Taehyung can’t remember seeing a woman in real life. A female is mostly seen on old movies and tv-shows that has stayed through both the radiation and the revolution. The fact that he has never seen one is kind of intriguing. Probably in five years he could start being a producer, someone who makes kids, and it is somehow funny yet weird that when he is going to produce may be the first time that he meets a real, living woman. Despite the fact that being a producer may be his only shot at seeing one, he isn’t really a fond of the way females are being treated in these huge special rooms. Taehyung has never been in one, but rumors have been spread on the street in the central city and it doesn't sound like a sweet and caring place to spend your life in. One rumor states that children are forced to start producing from their first menstruation, which can be as low as eight to nine years. It is crazy and sickening to Taehyung that children is having this forced on them at such a young age, especially when he, himself, probably is the biggest lover of children in Daejeon.

With these thoughts Taehyung fell into a deep sleep, just like his best friend sitting, or could i say, sleeping beside him. Taehyung had always been a very curious boy, very unalike Hoseok. Even though they don’t have an awesome story on how they meet, since their adoptive dads were friends, they’ve been together since birth as vell. Though they are pretty unsimilar. For example how curious Taehyung is contra Hoseok. Hoseok is a well mannered boy and grew up in the high class. Taehyung grew up in the middle class but the friends stayed together. Opposites attract?

Taehyung woke up to Hoseok sweating and trembling beside him. It was usual for him to do this when he had a nightmare. Growing up high-class had its ups and downs for Hoseok. Regardless of all the luxury you had around you never payed up to what you experienced. Hoseok saw what money can do to people, and how the law really works. These childhood memories had followed with him, making him have nightmares very often. Taehyung on the opposite, almost never got them. His dreams was more exploring, more like what if this happened dreams. They were pretty dope. That’s how he would describe them.

‘’Hobi’’, Taehyung gently shook the male beside him trying to wake him up.

‘’ You’re trembling again, like real bad’’, he softly whispered, not earning a single response from his friend beside him.

‘’Okey, hey wake up!’’, Taehyung was more screaming than softly speaking, getting a couple of shhs from the group of boys sitting behind them.

You could see Hoseok eyes slowly opening, reacting to the light of the sun from above before quickly shutting them again, and turned around.

‘’Was I shaking again Tae?’’, he mumbled with his back facing Taehyung.

‘’I can’t really hear what you are saying because you’re not facing me, but if you are asking if you were shaking again, then the answer is yes. And you didn’t shake a little. It was like something was possessing your body’’, Taehyung explained while turning Hoseok around.

‘’Yeah you’re probably right Tae. I was having a nightmare, so it makes sense’’, Hoseok said while rubbing his eyes.

‘’You want to talk about it?’’, his friend asked.

‘’No not really. It was just the usual, you know, about the execution’’, Hobi responded.

Taehyung just nodded and looked over at his friend. Hoseok had told the story about the execution once. Only once. He has not told it to his dad, or to any other friends he may have. Only Taehyung knows, and he would never ask him to explain again either. The one time Hoseok told Tae about the execution he almost choked because of tears. He was scared, and Taehyung could tell how much of a hard time Hoseok had telling the story.

When Hoseok was ten he experienced his first execution. The execution is a ritual for all women who can’t produce children. The ones that doesn’t have a functioning uterus. Even though these women were the only females to survive the radiation, they don’t have a useful job for the only goal the world has now: To increase the popularity. Therefor they are very useless and not needed at the moment. They are more like waste. That’s what they are called: waste. Killing these women is called executing. It’s actually a really simple ritual, where you slightly push the woman closer and closer to the border of Busan, a place which has such a high radiation level that you will certainly die from it after a couple of weeks. Hoseok was forced to join one in the age of ten. His adoptive dad really wants him to work with executions when he grows older. Executions has always sparked something in the mind of Hoseok's adoptive dad, therefor he wants his ‘’son’’ to do it as a full-time job as well. Hoseok remember hearing screams from the woman, begging the people to let her stay. Begging them to kill her immediately instead of letting her slowly die in Busan. Sorrowfully, no mercy were shown and the woman was pushed in to the province of Busan, to her death. What’s weird is how the government allows this. Even though each province is independent, it is strange how no leader has ever reacted to the way they treat other human beings. With that being said, you have to remember that every person leading is probably a male that doesn’t have any special feelings towards women. Most males in the country are like this, not giving a damn about things that doesn’t concern them. Taehyung is different, at least he likes to tell himself that he is. That if he ever touches something close to power, he will change the way women are treated. That’s a promise to himself.

As mentioned, every province is almost independent, following own rules and having their own leaders. Every other year, leaders from each province, except busan because of the fact that it is a deadly sone with no inhabitants, meet in Seoul to discuss and inform each other about what’s going on. Apart from that meeting you are free to rule a province as you want. The counselor is on top, followed by the first commander who is followed by the second commander. Every counselor and commander has a advisor, and these roles are the ones that really matter. The roles that can change lives. You can also become a leader for a special force in the defense, like the leader of training and combat. These roles matter too, and Taehyung is determined to fight his way up to one of those ranks. Hoseok on the other hand, just wants to get everything done. He wants to go home to a office job once the service is over. He definitely does not want to please his father with becoming an executor. Hobi never wants to be close to the Busan province ever again.

The first years after the nuclear power plant exploded in Busan, no one really knew what to do. They tried to clean up the mess, but realised how dangerous and useless it is after the radiation plague started. When the war was over, each counselor decided to make the Busan area an off limits place, yet gave it the title as a province in hope for it to become a place to inhabit a couple thousand years from now. For now it is still dangerous to walk into Busan, and it has gotten many nicknames; The dead zone, the off-limited and the south. In theory, no human could survive living here, but lately there has been spotted, things or animals kind of humans walking around, but this information is not revealed to the public. Taehyung and Hoseok still thinks their walking into mandatory defense service, not knowing what the real threat actually is. Not knowing what is waiting for them.

-

Y/N was sitting on her bed, writing in her diary. She had just gotten a new one, since she had already written out her fourth one. Many things had happened in y/n’s life after the death of her parents. It was hard to cope with everything, and y/n found it relaxing and calming to write every single thought she had down on paper.

‘’Y/N, the counselor would like to have a word with you’’, a guard said from the other side of the door.

‘’Please let him in’’, y/n responded, putting down her pen looking over at her brother standing in the entrance of the door.

‘’What do you want?’’, y/n snapped, cutting the eye-contact she had with the counselor.

‘’Y/N, you have to stop asking the counselors table about letting our women go free. We are very tired of it’’, y/n’s brother explained while he sat down on her bed.

‘’But Seokjin, can’t you see that I’m tired too?’’, y’n looked into his eyes again.

‘’I’m the only female here. I may have the counselors table’s respect but when it all comes to all, most of you use me as a dumpster, to relieve yourself from all the stress that you have. You don’t think I’m stressed? I don't have an easy job as the first commander, yet the only woman walking freely in Daejeon. The only difference between my stress and your stress is the fact that I don’t need relief. I need someone to understand, someone to talk to. Not someone to fuck. Can’t you see that brother? Can’t you see that Jin?’’, y/n expressed to her brother who was in clear shock of her confession.

‘’I thought you could talk to Jimin? What about Jungkook? I know you guys are close’’, Jin asked his sister.

‘’Don’t bring them up in this’’.

‘’What I’m trying to say brother, is that I’m not going to stop with my suggestions unless something is done. I may be first commander, but I will fight for this cause as well.’’, she explained.

‘’Y/N you can’t just do th..’’

‘’Brother please’’, y/n cut him off.

‘’I suggest that the counselors table give me 10 minutes next saturday, as always, since it is my right as first commander. If not I will take my rightful place at the counselors table, and if the rumors I’ve heard are correct, you guys don't want that, right? ’’.

The counselor gently nodded in guilt.

‘’Now please, get out of my room’’, y/n said trying to sound as polite as possible.

‘’Yes of course sister’’, Jin answered before slowly walking out of his sister’s chamber.

Y/N’s diary

Still no response or change.

Dear diary.

It’s weird thinking about how I always write about the same things in these books. I always tell you about my fight with freeing the women that are being forced to produce. I think they should all live freely, and produce when they want to. I want them to produce because they found someone they like, not because they are forced. I think I understand this, as I am a fellow woman, but getting this idea obtained by the counselors table is hard. Especially when the seven people sitting at the table are all men. They don’t give a damn, I promise you.

I’ve been first commander for four years now. Fours years and nothing. No recruit has ever cared or shown signs of caring. It seems like they don’t realize the situation about the country and world they are living in, but for some of them it is a win win situation. The fact that you could pleasure yourself with a random woman without thinking or caring about the consequences it may have.

I still have hope. The new recruits for the year are arriving tomorrow, and I’m hopeful. Hopeful that ONE young man may understand the horrible way we are treating others. That’s my hope, and I’ll pray for it tonight. For the women, and for the recruits. They have hard times ahead of them. I won’t go easy on them, nor Jungkook or Jimin.

Yours truly; Y/N

[shinobi98]

I'vee written this from episode 29 through 32-ish and I want to dump a quick review of what I think of the characters at this point. Just for the lols for when I finish the show and I find I was completely wrong on most of them! Im using a compiled list on Google drive for the characters, so following that order they are split into clans.

Here we go.

Wei Wuxian. I really liked him at the beginning (what a funny cinnamon roll) but ever since he went missing into Burial Grounds I'm not sure...I see his points -especially when he criticised the Jins and stood up for the Wens- , but I can't believe he doesn't see he's being corrupted. Like come on. Just let the others help you for once, this is just looking for troubles. On thin ice. Used to be 9/10

Lan Zhan. Didn't like him much - or at all - when he was introduced in Clouds Recessess. I thought he was a stick in the mud and I wasn't too fond of him. He's missing for good chunks of the story. As my opinion of WWX deteriorated, I like him more or more because he's the one making sense out of the two, this gets him a passing score, even if barely. 6/10

Jian Cheng. He was my sweet sweet baby. Unparalleled sibling energy with WWX, cute angsty ship with Wen Qing, likable personality, the drama with the core. He had it all. But at some point...I don't know man. I just don't agree with anything he says anymore, and he's just becoming more and more sulky about his inferiority complex as a Clan Leader. I feel that, not counting the 16 years later part I didn't watch yet, he should get the title of co-protagonist rather than Wangji, since he's much more involved in the plot. Used to be a 8/10, still pending.

Jian Yanli. I like her. I feel like a dumb ass for getting attached and only remembering halfway through the flashback part that she's going to die, as per the first few episodes. I'm hating every second of it, like why killing her when the show is full of unpleasant people? Poor Li. Also the ship is a big plus. This kind of drama is just *chef kiss*- (and edit: after I watched the last episode of the night and she died...it's fine I'm not crying.) 8/10

Jian Fengmian. I don't really care much about him one way or the other. A little whipped by his wife - not that it is bad per se, but she really is bad so - , didn't particularly like that he favored WWX over JC. I think he could have been better, but he was pretty decent. 7/10

Madame Yu. No. 1/10

Lan Zichen. Possibly the last dude I 100% trust in this show not to let me down - as long as he isn't influenced too much by Mang Yao. I like him in a sort of uninvolved way. Don't look forward to see him on screen, don't wonder where he is or what he is doing, pleased when he shows up and does his sensible thing and then disappears again. Kept me on my toes after he escaped from Could Recesses though, but really took him so long to come back I almost forgot I was worrying about him. Way to go Zichen. 7/10

Lan Qiren. He's alright? I don't care much. Pretty dope when he took a stand against the Wans when they attacked, but I find him to be a little too much sometimes. 6/10

The files lists some juniors I haven't seen yet. They seem baby? Cute. I assume they are going to be so-and-so 's children, like in a Boruto way. Looking forward to see all the characters paired up.

Jin Guangshan. I thought he was annoying because he had a bunch of illegitimate children that I lost track of but then he became even more annoying with his very transparent power grab -and the fact that no one seems concerned is baffling to me. Overall I think I would have pretty much liked it more if the son Zixuan was clan leader and we didn't have to deal with this piece of work. 2/10

Jin Zixuan. As I was writing this post this man went through all sort of things. From proposing to having a child to being murdered. Honestly, we didn't start off the right foot when he booked the inn where WWX & co wanted to stay. I kept wishing he would kick the bucket because I hated how he treated Yanli, and I thought he would wind up to be a minor villain...while it seems he was the only normal member of his family. I feel bad for hating him so much. 8/10.

Jin Ling. Biggest reason why I thought his dad would be a bad guy. For the first part, I thought the Jins would be the villains because of him, and not the Wens, though in the end I wasn't that off the mark in a sense. He was just a cartoonish villain. I have yet to see him again after the flashback part, but his first introduction was awful. 3/10

Meng Yao. So the thing is, I was really partial towards him at the beginning. The bit at Cloud Recesses? The part with the Nie family? Perfect. Felt so bad for how everyone treated him. I started to excuse what he was doing like "it's ok, the head of guards is a dick to him" "it's okay he was double crossing the bad guys eheh" "it's ok he is...murdering civilians?" But seriously he let me down so hard. Also his face looks so different I didn't recognise him at first. At the beginning I thought I could maybe have a cute ship with Zichen but to tell the truth I don't want Meng Yao anywhere near him now. I seriously thought he wanted to murder infant Jin Ling at some point there to climb the ladder and become Clan Leader. I'm sure he set WWX up and schemed to murder the last dregs of the Wens and Zixuan. 1/10

Jin Zixun. Pretty inconsequential. Could have done with him imo. I'm only including him because I love when WWX goes "I don't even know who you are" like three times and that's a mood because where the heck did he come from.

Mo Xuanyu. I don't get why he looks like WWX. I sort understand why they used the same actor but story-wise I don't understand. How can random people look at him and recognise WWX? Also, he is kinda stupid for giving up his life to be possessed by a bad guy to get revenge but whatever floats your boat I guess. 4/10

Nie Mingjue. I don't care much for him. He bullies his brother too much and his short temper is annoying even though often justified. I thought I could kinda always rely on him to be the voice of reason despite not liking his character but then he said the stupidest thing in the show "I'm not sitting on that chair" and left it to the Jin Sect Leader...look how that worked out. Love how he basically disappeared after that, I think because he knew he screwed up big time (jk). 6/10

Nie Huaisang. Funny. Definetly underused. I hoped he would be part of the main gang. When he stopped showing up, the show took a terrible turn in its atmosphere. Please come back as sect leader in the 16 years later part (I mean, who else is there? I hope he didn't die in the meantime because he isn't showing up in this final battle). I wish I saw him swing a sword at the least once but alas. 7/10.

Wen Ruohan. I mean. What can you expect. Typical bad guy sitting on top of a lava pond that controls zombies. Wasn't expecting much development from his character and he surely didn't deliver. A good 2-dimensional bad guy to kill without thinking too hard about anything I guess. Awful person tho. 4/10

Wen Xu. I didn't even realize there were two young Wens. I thought he was his brother at first, but without the spice. Literally why was he there. 4/10

Wen Chao. He sucks, don't get me wrong. But watching him coming up with all sorts of awful things is very entertaining. 2/10 as a person, 9/10 as a villain. Cheered when he died.

Wen Lingjiao. Same as her lover, but more annoying because she got on my nerves sometimes. I was so glad when she got it. The (1) good thing coming out of WWX's corruption. 2/10

Wen Zhuliu. I really want to know what drove him to serve Chao with such devotion. His technique was kinda cool. I think he would have been an okay guy but sadly he associated with Chao. 4/10

Wen Ning. I thought "No, poor Ning is dead" ten times already and still counting. Please WWX just let him die. He is/was just a sweetheart and I loved him with all my heart. His death and everything that came after it filled me with rage, when i thought he died I was brokenhearted, and the fact that he gets blamed for killing people when it's arguably WWX's fault is so unfair. We didn't deserve Wen Ning. I don't really like that he became the Ghost General tho. 10/10

Wen Qing. I liked her. Same as her brother, how their story ended up upset me. I hoped they would get to live peacefully in their commune in the woods. That part of the story was *chef kiss*. The romance with JC lacked closure imo but I understand that they both had things going on and they would need to stretch the story too much to get the together or at the least talk about their feelings. I hoped till the end she wouldn't be killed because I knew Ning came bad 16 years later, so they must have avoided being executed, but more realistically I guess he's just a zombie and she's just dead. I lowkey shipped her with WWX though I feel this would be an unpopular opinion in the fandom -when I learned WWX has a different endgame ship I was kinda bummed sorry. I thought we would get a sort of love triangles with JC, I can't say I'm disappointed because it would have been a terrible plot. They really have a good platonic relationship, I loved to see them build that village. 8/10

Song Lan/ Xiao Xingchen / Xue Yang. What's the deal with them? They seemed to be set up to come back but only Song Lan does a passing appearance. Are they coming back? What was their significance? So weird because the untamed usually doesn't introduce characters to just drop them when the episode's over.

[inkofamethyst]

March 7, 2021

Oh? What time is it? Time for another romance fantasy?? (I know they've kinda gotten outta hand but at this point it's not even loneliness I'm just having fun with them lol they're so cute and it kinda makes me understand the appeal of y/n fanfics and things.)

So! I get an internship over the summer and they're paying for my housing to stay there at the research site, so I decide to stream me playing games because there's still a pandemic and all so there's not much else to do in the evenings that's safe. So I'm playing games but I'm bad at them because that's just how I am with video games, and this person enters my chat and they're like "hey i can teach you this cool trick that'll make the game easier" and I'm like "dope let's hop in a discord call" because in this fantasy I'm not concerned about my privacy at all for some reason and so while I'm streaming for an extremely modest audience of practically no one we're in a call as he's telling me the controls for this trick and then we just start chatting because why not yknow? Then I end the stream eventually but we just like, keep talking and having a great time and then uhhh well, over the next few days we play multiplayer games on my streams together and it's all chill and cute. And, well, it sort of just goes from there, I guess~.

IDK I LIKE MEET-CUTES OKAY? LET ME BE I COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT WHAT EXACTLY COMES AFTER BECAUSE IT'S THE INITIAL MEETING THAT SETS THE TONE ALRIGHT? ALRIGHT?!

alright.

I got my new glasses frames!!  They’re far bigger than the ones I’ve had for five or six years now (I honestly can’t remember, I might’ve gotten those other ones way way back in middle school, honestly), and these ones aren’t transition lenses thank goodness.  My dad convinced me to get transitions for the last pair I got and I hated them almost immediately.  They do supposedly have a blue light filter though, which should be nice.  I won’t lie though, they do make me look a bit bug-eyed lol, but I like them!!

The only thing I don’t like is how they’re making my head hurt.  I’ve literally got a major headache today and it must be due to these new prescriptions.  I know it’s a phase I just need to push through, but wow it really feels uncomfortable.  Such is the price we pay to literally see properly omg.

Speaking of internships though, I won’t lie, I kinda feel a bit like a hypocrite fawning over this one that’s offered me an interview.  I’ve been hating on that city for years, and all of a sudden I want to live there??  Well, to be fair, I want to live in a city again period, and I’m also considering applying to a graduate school in that area, so it’d be a nice chance to see if I’d actually like all the hustle and bustle.

Speaking of hustle... I realized that since I’m still on a family sharing plan for Apple, my mom (and my dad and my sister) has the ability to see every app I download.  This isn’t bad, not really, it’s just kinda awkward because of the fact that I’ve been tossing around this idea of trying the ol’ swipey-swipe on some of those man-hunting applications, if you catch my drift.  But like,,, aside from my major self-esteem issue and anxieties I have about that process, the fact that my mom can see which app(s!?) I download is just,,, weird and I don’t really want to talk to her about my romantic pursuits, you know?  ugh.  I’ll get that figured out at some point.

Or maybe?  Y’know?  It’s just a sign that I’m not meant to do it!  I don’t make the rules here.

ALRIGHTY GAMERS I GOT ME AN INTERVIEW APPOINTMENT

Have I been fantasizing about being offered the internship directly after I speak with these fine individuals?  Yes, yes I have.  Have I set four alarms to ensure that I will wake up and be ready by the time of the interview on Tuesday?  Yes, yes I have.  Will I be picking out the clothes I plan to wear for the interview tonight?  Yes, yes I will.  I’m thinking a simple, cream collared shirt, and perhaps one of my pairs of brown trousers.  I’ll work on some options.  I think I’ll go do that now.

Today I’m thankful for... hm.  Well, honestly I just failed a short quiz in my genetics class so I’m mostly thankful that two of those get dropped.  It’s a little early on in the semester for me to already be relying on drops, but alas.  It is what it is.

I wonder if any more interview offers/acceptances/denials will come in this week?  We’re coming up on mid-March, you know, and I’m fairly impatient.

Man.  Remember this time of March last year?  It feels both so distant and so not distant at all.  I feel like I’ve both aged five years and that my nineteenth birthday was only two weeks ago simultaneously.  I never even got to really experience my last year as a teenager (though, ehhhh I wasn’t expecting all that much from this past year even under normal circumstances, anyway).  I did go through some nation-wide racial unrest though!  And a government coup!  And I’m currently rolling with a pandemic!  I got to vote for the first time!

Man.  Can you imagine what life would’ve been like today if we would’ve just let that dang gorilla live. If that kid had just been sick and their parents had to cancel the trip to the zoo.  I am a firm believer in the idea that the death of Harambe caused a major domino effect that has led us to where we are in the United States today, as ridiculous as it might sound.  Maybe one day I’ll write a dissertation on it or something idk.  I hope that kid keeps that information to himself.  It’s certainly not a fun fact he should be sharing about himself ever.  Because I will instruct my children to punch him in the face on sight.  I am joking, by the way.  But seriously.  Lil dude needs to hold that to his grave.

Anyway.  I’m off to pick out an outfit.  Also, I just ordered some slacks off Poshmark for way more than I’d ever expected to pay for pants but they’re wool and elastane and they were really pretty and it seems that they’ve shrunk to be basically my size, so...  Yeah, completely an impulse buy, but I can do what I want with my birthday money.

I’m kind of looking forward to doing a “Day 365 of Quarantine” post this coming Saturday, I think.  I’ll reflect on the year as a whole, probably.  Personally, nationally, and world-wide.  Yeah.  It’s been... it’s been a lot.

[smokeybrand]

Party Forever

I’ve been revisiting Adventure Time during my many, many, bouts of insomnia and i still absolutely love this show. It’s one of the best to ever air and, taking it in years after it ended, is a little bittersweet. Even the excellent specials we’re getting with Distant Lands are just reminders of how awesome this thing as during it’s original run. With all of that in mind, i wanted to highlight some of my favorite episodes throughout it’s run. Just a disclaimer, this thing is going to be very Marcy heavy. She’s my favorite character end her episodes tend to be exceptional. That said, i really love every episode to varying extents so, if one isn’t mentioned specifically, it’s more to save time than i don’t care for it. Look, this thing ran for ten years. If i covered every episode, we’d be here all day!

Elements

Elements was so good, man, i had to make an exception for it. This thing is a mini series, not just one episode but i don’t see how i could leave it off this list. I loved seeing a completely upside down Ooo. The correlation between emotion and the Princesses was also a really nice touch. Plus, it;s always nice whenever LSP gets to shine.

High Strangeness

I don’t like Tree Trunks. I find her to be grating. However, even i have to admit that she has some of the best episodes in the show, my favorite being High Strangeness. It’s such a bonkers experience, you know? The Grays, that weird candy cancer, thee way the animation gets real wonky on the spaceship; It’s all over the place and i adore it.

Be More

Listen, if you like this show, then you love BMO. It’s an objective truth and Be More is it’s best episode. Going back to the MO factory to see where BMO was turned into quite the treat. This episode is one of the sweetest in the entire series and the climax genuinely made me smile.

The Other Tarts

This episode as so goddamn weird and solidified why i loved this series so much. It’s f*cking all over the place, man. It’s just a series of escalating folly and I was laughing my ass off the entire time. In all honesty, this episode is probably the weakest to make this list but even now, as i think back on it, the Tart Toter still makes me chuckle. What the f*ck was even that soliloquy?

Abstract

Listen, I'm a big brother. I got two, idiot, siblings that are just bumbling through life. Seeing Jake trying t figure out his sh*t and getting that unconditional support from his big bro really hit home. I give my kid brothers a lot of sh*t but, when the chips are down and they need me, I'll move heaven and earth to make sure they’re good. Plus, it’s always dope seeing Jermaine in an episode. Dude deserved more shine.

One Last Job

Jake Jr. is my favorite pup and this is her best episode, even if she ain’t really in it. There’s a reason why she’s Jake’s favorite, too, and she demonstrates that perfectly during this one.

No One Can Hear You

That f*cking deer, bro!

Flute Spell

Flute Spell became one of my favorite episodes because of the chemistry Finn has with Huntress Wizard. They feel so organic together, so complimentary. I was a little bummed they didn’t make it official at the end but my ship was definitely sailing by the end of that one.

Card Wars

Card wars was fun as to watch. It reminded me of the times i would play games with my brothers. Cats get real competitive and sh*t can go sideways fast. Finn and Jake’s sibling dynamic always rang true to me and it is rarely so deftly presented than in this episode.

I Remember You

This episode broke my heart. It was f*cking devastating to watch. I cannot imagine what it’s like to love someone so deeply and have then not even know who you are. To have such a deep history together and they are a stranger to you in the present. You remember everything but they remember nothing. Marcy’s entire life is loss and this episode just hammered that home in the most gut-punching way. Don’t understanding, it’s a beautiful episode it’s just so goddamn bittersweet.

Marceline’s Closet

I just love how awkward Finn and Jake were during this entire episode. It’s rare to see them so frazzled and the way Marcy just nonchalantly tells then she just stays in their house was priceless. This one is more Marcy adjacent but it’s still excellent and one of my favorites.

What Was Missing

F*cking Door Lords, am i right? In all seriousness, i really like this episode. It’s more an ensemble than a Marcy episode but you’d be hard-pressed to find a better song than “I’m Just Your Problem.” That mess is a straight up banger! Also, tsundere Marcy is the best!

Time Sandwich

Sandwiche! Mijo!

Stakes

This one is another cheat. Just like Elements, Stakes is actually a miniseries but it tells one cohesive story that’s one of the best in the entire show. You not only get to see much more of Marcy, always a plus, but the world of Ooo immediately after the Mushroom War fallout. It’s always dope getting chunks of lore like that ins shows but especially in AT because it’s so goddamn rich. I watched this thing a few days ago and i fell in love it all over again. This is the best Adventure Time can be and Stakes doesn’t disappoint.

Go With Me

Bro, i love Go With Me. It’s literally just a series of misunderstandings and shenanigans. Adorable, adorable, shenanigans. This was my introduction to Marceline and it made a distinct impression. That laugh, that undercut, that sass; Bro, I was in love. More than that, the interaction with Finn and Jake was great but that playful little, “Hello, Bonnibel” follow by such a curt, “Yeah, yeah.” All you need to know about their relationship. Go With Me is easily my favorite episode of Adventure Time. It’s just so goddamn awesome and chock full of nostalgia to me. But no tongue.

Honorable Mentions: Gotcha, Ocarina, Another Way, Ricardio the Heart Guy, Belly of the Beast, Fiona and Cake, Henchman, The Limit, Ocean of Fear, Bad Little Boy, King Worm, I Came From the Nightosphere, Wheels, The Eyes, Davey, Memory of a Memory, The Real You, Marcy and Hunson, Dad’s Dungeon, Jake vs. Me-Mow, Literally anything with Lemongrab, Puhoy, The Creeps, Dentist, Daddy-Daughter Card Wars, Return to the Nightoshere and Daddy’s Little Monster, Come Along With Me

[infamously-winking]

Rules: Answer 21 questions, then tag 21 people you want to get to know better.

I was tagged by @oxycontln​, sorry I have taken so long to write this

Nickname: Snarbie, Ari, R, Scout

Zodiac: Pisces

Height: 5′7″

Last Thing Searched: what hs aspect Skylla Koriga was

Favorite Musicians: Imagine Dragons, Mystery Skulls, Daft Punk, Chvrches, The Garden, Bastille, Panic!, Idk,,, probably some others I’m very bad at remember musicians, it’s why I listen to music through Pandora Radio

Song Stuck in Head: probably a song by James Roach..

If you had a time machine, would you go back in time or visit the future?: Depends, what type of time travel are we talking about? Simple linear? Or does making changes in the past cause a splintering effect? Because like, I just wanna see the Library of Alexandria but I know I'd stick out cause something weird

Do I Get Asks: oh no, none. What would someone even want to ask me on any of my blogs?

Following: 774, I have no clue what most them are at this point, hopefully good content?

Would you rather be rich or famous?: Rich, being famous seems to drive people literally mad

Amount of Sleep: Either 3 hours or 12-14, I don’t make the rules. The nights I get 7-8 I feel like my body is gunna play a laugh track when I hope that it becomes regular.

Lucky Number: 22, 11:11

What I’m Wearing: faded skinny jean, blue baseball t, batman seatbelt belt, and purple/blue flannel

Dream Job: I really hope I can work on A.I. one day and actually contribute to the growth and ethics of the field. Maybe dabble in art on the side and finally draw a small webcomic like I’ve always wanted to

Dream Trip: Probably visit Canada more thoroughly, knowing my dad was born there and that my grandparents grew up there makes wish I could visit 

If you were an animal, what would you be? I like to say either a cat or rodent, but all my friends tell me I’m an owl

Favorite Food: rice, any kind of it, cooked anyway. I’m not picky I just really love this beautiful grain

What are some of your favorite books/films/shows/games/etc?:

favorite literature: Probably 1984, Scythe, Nervous Conditions, Homestuck & Hiveswap, I love to read but I’m also dyslexic my I can’t say my selection pool is too large, there are more I want to mention but my brain has decided to hide all the titles

favorite shows: Basically every popular cartoon; SU, Miraculous Ladybug, Hilda, She-ra, Trollhunters, 3Below, etc because I’m sad and need some optimism. Queer Eye, The Good Place, Good Omens, I’m just going through my recently watched list at this point though.

favorite games: proabably LoZ Breath of the Wild, other Zelda games are chill but this ones extra dope. The Pokemon games always steal my heart. The Fire Emblem series is also p good

Play Any Instruments: I wish

Languages: Just English

Describe Yourself as Aesthetics: completely cringe yet oddly endearing, having your walls filled with posters of your favorite things, over indulging for the hell of the moment, the inspiration you get when your friends start egging you on, big fluffy clouds against a cartoonishly blue sky, the one childish bracelet you’ve worn for years and refuse to take off, the midaugust halloween hype, the mid 70′s breeze on a late summer evening through a california valley, that one item you lose for months at time only to find it like nothing happened to it, having your bedroom window face west, a cluttered desk with programming books and art supplies, falling asleep to escape to your dreams, a nest made of pillows

i tag: @plot-twist-im-gay @sanctumofwaluigi @loadingboy @golly-that-beat-is-dandy @dreamsicccle @kissyemoji @xasannni @husband-in-law

sorry I don’t have more to tag I just don’t have many mutuals/people who seem to like the stuff I rapidly reblog into their faces. I hope I didn’t bug you all too much with this, but it was fun to type out aesthetics; I’ve never done it* ^^

[dylanmaystk]

My top 10 Music Artists of All Time

I’ve thought about doing a post like this for a while but always held off because I felt like it would be an impossible feat that would eventually remain unfinished due to my inability to commit to just ten, nevertheless... here we go.  The idea kinda came from a conversation I had with one of my friends on his top five bands of all time. This was something I always thought would be easy to decide on, until I’d ultimately remember a band pivotal to my very existence that would cause me to reshape my whole list in entirety an hour later.  When looking at the subject of top ten artists of all time, I thought about it in the simplest of terms: What artists, by any means, would I not be able to live without? Doing it this way kinda helped, but I’m sure to raise a few eyebrows especially to those that don’t really know me. Even after reworking the list a few times, this was the one that stayed the most consistent. So fuck it, my top ten music artists of all time:

10. The Smiths  

What could you say about The Smiths? Other than being the soundtrack for every brooding and emo teen since the groups first album in 1984, The Smiths are just great.  Complex to the point where it’s welcomed, fans of the group have praised them for their songs of love, loss, and just about everything in between.  Ofcourse, the band really isn’t much without one of the most recognizable voices in alternative music, Morrissey (what I’d kill to have that ‘preme shirt). The don that is Morrissey gave us so much content throughout the years, but maybe what he’s best known for is his vividly descriptive, weird, yet endearing chorus on “There Is A Light That Never Goes Out” that’s been known to show up on countless TV shows and movies.

“If a double decker bus, crashes into us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die/and if a ten ton truck, kills the both of us, to die by your side, the pleasure, the privilege is mine.”

Yup, gotta love The Smiths. 

Recommended Listens: The Smiths, Meat is Murder 

9. Lauryn Hill

From the Fugees to her flawless The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, L-Boogie has always been a revered and ominous presence in Hip Hop. Having the smallest body of work on this list, people have pleaded to get her back in the studio in hopes of creating something with even remotely as much magic as her solo and only studio album. What’s amazing about Lauryn is she seems to be great without even trying.  Her only album nabbed a Grammy for Album of The Year and is one of only two Hip Hop based albums to ever have that honor.  Not only that, her verses are so eloquent and deep you really can’t capture everything in one listen. With layers beyond belief, Lauryn Hill embodies the saying “quality over quantity” to perfection.

Recommended Listens: The Fugees’ The Score, The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill

8. Paramore 

Holy fuck they’re finally back.  After about a four year hiatus, Paramore is slated to release their fifth studio album this month and it couldn’t be more overdue. Their longest break between albums to date, Paramore’s sound is forever evolving and their new singles Hard Times and Told You So are proof. Although vintage Paramore will always my favorite, their new 80′s/poppy inspired sound is something they’ve hinted at for a while and fans like myself are curious to see what surprises they have coming. 

At their core, Paramore is angsty yet refined. Their early grunge inspired sound led by Hayley Williams is alot of what I remember about the early 2000′s and is done well enough that I find it worthy of commendation. Something I always revert back to, Paramore is the pinnacle of the Warped Tour collection of bands and continue to prove why they’re one of the best collectives of the last decade.    

Recommended Listens: Riot!, Brand New Eyes

7. Drake 

Champagne Papi or Coquito Papi (shout out J.Lo) is the biggest hip hop pop artist on the planet, that’s a fact.  I honestly don’t know if there’s anything he can’t do.  Since 2009 and the debut of So Far Gone, a mixtape that’s changed what mixtapes are by their standard, Drake has reigned supreme and has dominated commercially as well as in the barbershop conversations for best rapper of today (you’re there too Kendrick, don’t worry).  What makes him so universally loved is his appeal and his ability to identify with both the male and female demographic.  His vulnerability has spawned a new wave of what many call “emotional rap” that has since been replicated by many but none with the sheer bravado and lasting brilliance quite like Drake’s. He’s calculated almost to the point where its scary and shows a grit that 90′s rappers can be proud of. With his ability to give you an emotional and heartfelt ballad one minute, then talks of “crushing some ass even if it ain’t too big” the next, Drake is certified platinum and a legend in his own right. 

Some chunes for your headtop: Take Care, So Far Gone 

6. Nas 

The Street’s Disciple had to have a place on my list.  Nas is arguably one of the greatest rappers of all time and has inspired so many people I listen to today. His wit, cadence, and knowledge was unheard of for his age and at the time of his now enshrined Illmatic. Out of all of the golden age rappers, Nas seemed to stick out to me the most because he knew exactly what he wanted to be/was straight from the beginning.  A few mediocre albums aside, Nas’ return with Life is Good in 2012 was so reassuring that he hadn’t lost his touch, I myself even exhaled. Flashy with the wordplay and a knack for stealing the show- even at the age of 40- Nas’ brilliance can’t be met. We need the new album Nas..... like seriously.

Recommended Listens: Illmatic, It Was Written 

5. Taylor Swift 

Remember how I said Drake was the biggest pop star in the world? Taylor Swift might just rival that. I don’t care what anyone says, Taylor is the greatest songwriter of this generation. I say it all the time because I think it’s something she hasn’t received enough credit for.  Granted, country Taylor just seemed to flow more, but that could be because Speak Now is one of the greatest albums I’ve ever heard.  Although sometimes she can tatter on the line of whiny, Taylor’s honesty and storytelling are what makes her connect and continue to sell out arenas worldwide.  Translating seamlessly to pop and still conveying that same sort of style and message are the reasons why her fans haven’t left her. I’ve been a fan since she was crying about that nigga Drew on “Teardrops On My Guitar”, and that was in ‘07.  

Recommended Listens: Speak Now, Fearless 

4. Michael Jackson 

Any music list that contains the words like “top ten” and “all time” should include the King of Pop.  Michael Jackson is literally the GOAT, like his name is synonymous with a four legged petting zoo animal. His music and overall presence in pop culture cannot be overstated and his influence is shown in many of the top 40 artists of today and I’m sure years to come.  I once asked why Thriller was the best selling album of all time (I was like 11) and my dad played it for me and said “just listen.” Yea I never heard anything so amazing in my life. Michaels just one of a kind and they’ll never be another, enough said.

Recommended Listens: Thriller (even though you’ve definitely heard it), Bad, Off The Wall 

3. Kanye West 

From one GOAT to another, Kanye might not have the lasting legacy Michael has now, but I think he definitely will.  Kanye seemed to come out of nowhere breathing fresh air into a genre that was predominantly still in the sex, drugs, and money era.  The College Dropout was huge in that it showed everyone what direction hip hop could go in, that sort of elegant and glamorous atmosphere that only Kanye himself could propel it to.  He has the most Grammys by any Hip Hop artist and for good reason, he’s been a pioneer in pushing the culture forward ever since he came on the scene.  Forever ahead of the curve and meticulous to the point where it frustrates his peers, Mr. West is the only artist where I can say my favorite album from him changes any time you ask me (even though the majority of the time I’ll say Graduation).  With what continues to be a privilege to hear anytime he releases new music, Kanye will probably agree.  I don’t have the answers Kanye, but I’m sure you do.

Recommended Listens: Graduation, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

2. Queen 

I have a tattoo of Freddie Mercury as a skeleton dressed in his drag outfit from the “I Want To Break Free” video on my leg.  That was a mouthful, and incase you don’t think you read that right, you did. I’ve loved Queen for as long as I could remember and I’m not really sure as to why specifically. The obvious reason would ofcourse be the frontman Freddie, but the band was so much more than its star. What’s crazy even to me is just how much I love this band even though I wasn’t even alive during their reign at the top of British and American music charts.  Queen signifies a universal acceptance and the idea that you shouldn’t give a fuck what anyone says and just produce dope shit, because at the end of the day that’s all that matters. With countless hits and some of the most widely recognized songs, the argument can be made that they could be in the top five bands ever to grace a stage.  If you tell me you listened to Bohemian Rhapsody in the car and didn’t go full Wayne’s World I’d call you a liar, simple as that.  

Oh also, their Live Aid performance may have been the greatest performance of all time, just ask Watchmojo.

Recommended Listens: A Night At The Opera, The Game, Hot Space (fuck what you heard it’s actually fire)

Honorable Mentions    

Kendrick Lamar

Chvrches 

Daft Punk 

Wu-Tang Clan 

A Tribe Called Quest 

Shania Twain 

Lana Del Rey 

Nirvana 

1. J. Cole 

J. Cole will always be my favorite artist and I credit alot of who I am today to his music.  He is the soul personified and his takes on life and personal growth add to his ability to make the human struggle seem beautiful in just about every way. Overshadowed at times by both Kendrick and Drake, Cole fans would attest that his openness and relatability range far beyond his contemporaries and put him in a category all his own. He’s responsible for creating my favorite body of work by anyone ever, Friday Night Lights. This mixtape (or album) changed my life in more ways than one and it’s sentimental value holds Cole at the top of my list for good reason.   I think what’s great is that although we don’t hear the hunger in his voice like we did on early tracks - especially those when he was seeking to ink a deal with Jay - we still get his energy and thought provoking lyrics in the form of a streaming social consciousness and a never ending want for social justice.  What some may find boring, I find incredible. “Cole world no snuggie” was a pretty questionable bar though...oh well, you get the pass fam.

Recommended Listens: Friday Night Lights, The Warm Up, 2014 Forest Hills Drive   

[onestowatch]

Q&A: Talking Hoop Dreams to Playing Main Stages with Hotel Garuda at CRSSD’s Fall Festival

Photos: Steven Truong 

We recently had the chance to catch a number of prolific and up and coming acts in the electronic scene at CRSSD’s 2017 Fall Festival. The festival has quickly made a name for themselves in the few years since its inception as a festival showcasing some of the best talent internationally, but if there was one act that undeniably blew us away it was the rapidly rising duo behind Hotel Garuda. Hotel Garuda may be fresh out of college, but the two aspiring producers and DJs are no strangers to the electronic music scene. Comprised of Manila Killa and Candleweather, the duo quickly made a name for themselves overnight with a series of remixes and edits that were clearly impossible to ignore. Their music quickly circulated amongst Soundcloud’s elite and beyond, racking up over 25-million streams on Soundcloud alone and consecutively topping the Hype Machine charts. 

The Hotel Garuda craze seemed universal as the duo began booking sold out shows and festivals across the country before the two of them were even officially finished college. Now with no textbooks holding them down and a rabid fanbase eagerly watching their every move, Hotel Garuda seems poised to takeover the electronic music scene. So, with no end in sight for the duo, we caught up with Aseem and Chris from Hotel Garuda at CRSSD’s Fall Festival to get the inside scoop on what exactly makes Hotel Garuda, Hotel Garuda.  

OTW: I’m here with Aseem & Chris from Hotel Garuda at CRSSD right now.

Aseem & Chris: What’s up!

OTW: So, let’s get started with the origin story. You're both DJs and producers in your own right, Candleweather and Manila Killa, so how did you two first meet and when did the two of you decide to join forces as Hotel Garuda?

A: We met in middle school because we both went to the same school in Indonesia when our families lived there, but we didn’t really connect on music then. We played on the same community basketball team. Fun fact: We lost every game. But then we both were in University in the U.S., so we just started talking again after I noticed his Facebook page for his Manilla Killa mashups. Throwback.

C: Wow that was a while ago.

A: Yeah that was a long time ago. So, we started talking I guess our sophomore, junior year in college, and just decided to collaborate really randomly because we both sort of had similar tastes. We were like fuck it why don’t we just do something together.

C: Yeah, so initially it was going to be a collaboration between Manilla Killa and whatever name he came up with. But then half way through the collab, I was like why don’t we make just an entirely new project, so we came up with a name–Hotel Garuda–and Brett our manager now…

A: Who formerly was both of ours’ employer.

C: Yeah, like earlier we had worked for a blog together and we both worked for Brett, but as things moved forward, I was like yo Brett we have this new project that we want you to push. And that happened, we put out our first song and here we are now in San Diego.

A: Here we are!

OTW: When it comes to being a duo how does that dynamic play out during your DJ sets?

A: Oh we just play one song each.

C: Also, we understand each other’s taste.

A: We taste each other, yeah.

A & C: (laughter)

C: Yeah, we taste each other. We like to make sure that our sets are very cohesive, but it’s pretty natural though. Ever since the beginning of Hotel Garuda, we did a pretty good job of going back to back.

A: After a while of meeting each other for our shows, cause we still weren’t living in the same place when we started working on our shows.

C: Still aren’t.

A: Yeah, still aren’t, but after a few times of playing together, we just kind of found a rhythm for both of us that we fit into.

OTW: What's one thing the world doesn't know about the other?

C: Whaaaaat. That’s way too hard. I’ve never thought about it that way.

A: I know some things people don’t know about you.

C: I’m annoying as fuck man.

A: (laughter) Chris is one of the most annoying people I know in my life, but it’s okay. I love him.

C: Honestly, I don’t have an answer for that. You’d have to give me like thirty minutes. Because, Aseem pretty much puts himself out in the world, so whatever I know, everyone else does.

A: Yeah, I feel like I’m pretty much an open book. And both of us are such lowkey dudes in general that it’s not super common for us to be out except for around our close friends.

C: Yeah, whatever the world knows, that’s kind of it. I don’t hide myself from people, but I don’t expose myself either. Honestly, I can’t even answer that.

A: That’s a long answer for a short question (laughter).

OTW: So you two are pretty recent college graduates?

A: I graduated 2015.

C: I graduated December 2016. It’s been pretty tough the past few years, cause he graduated in 2015, so it was smooth coasting for him, but at the time I was still working on getting my degree. It was really tough for us to play, because we’re a duo so everyone expects us to play together, but, for the past year and a half, I was still finishing school. It was kind of a promise to my parents and myself–no shows until I finish school, but now we’re good.

A: Now you finished school and you’re a real boy!

OTW: Wait so what’d you two study then, if not music?

A: Economics and math.

C: Business management.

A & C: Then became DJs!

OTW: And what inspired that major switch?

A: I honestly was not very confident in that path for myself. I knew I would end up doing it if I continued down that path, and I knew I would end up being fine. But I knew also that I hated it, and I would perish if I were to sit at a desk all the time. It’s just not how my brain works.

C: True. I knew that I was going to make a good amount of money if I had gone with my original job. I had an offer and everything for an auditing firm in New York, but said no to that.

A: Trying to make these remixes!

C: Trying to play festivals man! I mean my parents were like what are you doing, but at the same time it was like no, let me show you what I’m doing and that’s how it happened.

A: I feel like for both of our parents came around to it after we brought them to our shows.

C: They had to see it to understand it.

A: It’s not enough for us to just tell them. Clearly people don’t understand Asian parents that well if they think it’s that easy.

OTW: Not so easy to tell your mom and dad everything will be fine and you’ll just DJ around the world?

C: My mom’s like are you kidding me!? That’s so not where they wanted me to be, (laughter) but here we are.

OTW: What’s been the most surreal aspect of your career so far?

C: Honestly, I would say bringing my mom to my show for the very first time was surreal, because the music thing I never told her about this. She had no idea any of this was going on. This was originally just a hobby for me, but when it came to the realization that I really wanted to do this, I brought her to her first show. I called her out on the mic like, “Yo my mom’s here right now!” After, people came up to her and told her about what I was doing and stuff, and she didn’t tell me straight up that she understood but she hinted at it. I think that was the craziest thing about this entirety journey–my parents finally understanding what I do.

A: Similar sort of stuff. Everyone from my family comes from a professional world.

C: His brother is studying to be a lawyer.

A: Yeah, my brother just graduated from law school in England and he’s about to be a lawyer, so I’m the one person out of my entire extended family who doesn’t do anything relating to the professional fields, like law, engineering, or finance. So, even initially it was weird but they’ve always been kind of cool with it and they became fully cool with it after they saw us first play. They came to our show at the Bowery Ballroom in New York and it was great. They could not stop talking about it with their friends. I remember I used to think, damn how do my parents feel having to bring this up with their friends at parties? How do they talk about it?

C: Right!? But honestly they’re proud.

A: They’re so stoked!

C: My parents are stoked too. I thought you guys hated this, but then all of a sudden they’re literally telling everyone that they know that we’re doing this, and it’s incredible.

OTW: Is this your first time at CRSSD? How’s the experience been thus far?

A & C: Yes, first time and it’s amazing!

A: We’ve only been here for two hours, but it’s been great.

C: I was telling my friends and my girlfriend earlier that I’ve always wanted to go to CRSSD, and I’ve always wanted to experience it, because it looks amazing. The aesthetic of it is incredible. But now here we are playing it, so I’m super stoked.

OTW: You have some killer remixes out there. I've personally had the Kaskade & Felix Cartal one on repeat since it came out. How do you go about deciding what you want to remix and tackling said remix?

A & C: Thank you!

C: So, there’s two spectrums on whether or not we want to remix something. Either we really love it or there’s something about it we think we can bring to the next level, like we can make this our own brainchild.

A: Yeah, if we hear something in a song that we think would work with our style or workflow. Sometimes when we get asked to do remixes of songs, I’m like this vocal is really tight, but I want to produce something entirely else underneath it.

OTW: If you could get one artist to feature on one of your tracks in the future, who would it be?

A: Holy shit. Bon Iver.

C: My first choice was Porter Robinson.

A: Really!? I could not have guessed (laughter).

C: Second choice is Bon Iver.

A: Okay cool.

C: I think we could make a dope house track with him.

A & C: Justin Vernon!

C: Yeah, that’d be amazing.

OTW: You're about to kick off your fall tour with an incredibly stacked lineup. What part of your tour are you most excited for?

C: LA.

A: LA, New York, San Francisco. The LA show is on my birthday so that’ll be cool.

C: Then New York. New York has always been amazing to us. San Francisco is going to be crazy too. The Observatory in Santa Ana is going to be awesome. New Orleans!

A: Yes!

C: I heard New Orleans is awesome. I’ve never played there.

A: I played a show for Hotel Gaurda there, and I had a blast in that city. People are lovely and always a blast to be around.

OTW: A large part of the electronic music scene has seen the rise of these collectives, such as Moving Castle and Brownies & Lemonade. How has your involvement with these collectives affected your career and time in the music scene?

C: Couldn’t have done it without any of those guys. Especially Brownies, man. Brownies put us on super early.

A: Super, super early.

C: They’ve known about us before anyone else, and they’re amazing.

A: And it’s made me really thankful for the sense of community that LA has. I don’t know if it’s true or false that other places don’t have it, but I don’t know if any other place has it exactly like LA.

C: But honestly I feel like with that kind of scene, the excitement translates to other cities. For example, Brownies just did an after party in Chicago. Their reach is getting elsewhere, so we’re super thankful for them. If they’re winning, we’re winning.

A: Everyone’s winning.

C: Yeah, if our family’s winning, we’re winning.

OTW: If you had to describe your sound without using any genre terms, how would you?

A: Fun. Is that too simple?

C: Can we put this question to our guests right here? (directing towards the Hotel Garuda fam in the artist booth) How would you describe our sound in terms of genre and stuff?

Guest #1: Fun, groovy.

Brett: it’s eclectic.

Guest # 2: There’s also a certain sound I associate with Garuda. There’s a certain deeper element. It’s sort of like a bass thing, but it’s not really. There’s fun stuff on top, but there’s this one kind of bassier sound that’s always Garuda that makes it more meaningful. Well, maybe not meaningful, but…

C: No, you’re right. You’re right. So, basically we like the groovy bass house stuff, but we also like the pop fun stuff too. It’s in between the mainstream and the underground.

A: It’s hard for us to describe too.

C: Yeah, we make house music but we also don’t make house music. We make just whatever sounds fun, whatever sounds cool.

OTW: So you two come from pretty different producing backgrounds, with Manilla Killa having more of a future bass and house sound. How do the two of your merge your varying backgrounds?

A: I didn’t produce beforehand. I had no idea how to make music before this project started, so I started with making house music. Now, it’s kind of like I just do whatever comes out of my head.

C: So, when we first started Hotel Garuda, it was all about house. We both love house music. This is kind of where we got our influences from. That doesn’t necessarily mean that’s all that we know. Both of us have hugely different tastes in music.

A: Honestly, the most fun is finding the middleground, or finding the underground in the weird shit that we do like. Like both of us like weird things but we also like catchy mainstream stuff at the same time.

C: And we’ll bring that into whatever we’re doing.

A: Compare and contrast; write an essay about it.

C: Yeah, we’re kind of doing whatever we want at this point. Our next song coming out is definitely not house.

A: It’s kind of disco.

OTW: SoundCloud has given such a monumental platform to bedroom producers and beyond. What advice do you have for up and coming producers?

A: Don’t worry about stats. Make whatever feels natural, whatever comes out of your head. Because if it comes out of your head subconsciously and it’s not trying to consciously fit some mold, it’s probably what you want to make. You just don’t know it yet.

C: Yeah, bouncing off of Aseem, there are a lot of dope producers out there that are really big and making it, and a lot of producers feel like if they make that sound then they’re going to make it as well. And I think that’s the biggest mistake ever. There’s a reason why for example, Flume is there. The reason why Flume is Flume is because he’s making his own shit. If you’re trying to make shit like Flume, people are going to be like oh this sounds like Flume, and you’re never going to make it out as yourself. So, I think the biggest piece of advice is, likewise, don’t worry about stats. Don’t worry about the sound that you’re making. Make whatever you want. So, this is a saying I heard from Tiga, Tiga once said if you’re dancing to the song that you made in your bedroom, someone else out there is probably going to dance to it too. I think that’s the biggest piece of advice I’ve ever taken away. No matter how weird the song I’m making right now is, if I like it, someone else out there’s probably going to like it. Don’t try and conform.

A: Please yourself before your please anyone else.

C: Yeah, it’s so easy to get into like oh my god I have to make this kind of music to make it, but it’s really not like that. There’s someone else doing it way better than, so go do your own thing.

OTW: Anyone else you’re excited to catch while at CRSSD?

A: Don’t say RÜFÜS, although he’s about to say RÜFÜS.

C: I wasn’t going to say RÜFÜS, but I was going to say I saw SAINT WKND earlier. He’s going to tour with us also. He crushed it. I just saw Bearson as well who was really cool.

A: I want to see Breakbot either live at the fest or at the after party where he’s doing a DJ set. Honestly, the whole festival is pretty fire. The entire lineup is crazy.

C: Lane 8. RÜFÜS. The Malkovich Brothers. That’s going to be a really fun set.

A: Our stage is wild today.

C: Oh Destructo! Gary is like right after us. He’s super dope.

OTW: Who are your Ones to Watch?

C: SAINT WKND, Bearson, Whethan, Louis the Child. Who else?

A: There’s a band called High Water. They’re on Nicolas Jaar’s label called Other People. They make really cool things. I just found out about them two weeks ago and I really like their stuff.

C: Kid Froopy is really dope.

A: Kid Froopy’s awesome!

C: Ásgeir. If you gave me ten minutes, I could give you a list of a hundred people, but off the top of our heads that’s it.

A: Elohim!

C: Yeah, Elohim’s going to play tomorrow!

OTW: Finally, anything else we should be on the lookout for from Hotel Garuda in the future?

C: Come see us on tour this Fall! Also, we have a new single in the works.

A: It’s featuring this awesome band from Norway called Lemaitre.

C: It’s coming out right as we start our tour!

[rustytheshackleford]

1-154

I’m adding a “keep reading” because this is a ton of questions!

1:Full name.

Rusty Shackleford aka Michael Chipz aka Wes Mantooth aka Ryan Pitts

2:Zodiac sign.

Libra

3:3 fears.

Dying alone, drowning, suffocating (any kind of death involving being unable to breathe, really), being killed by something I can’t see/being murdered in my sleep. I have a lot of death fears lol. I’m sure I have more fears than that, but I guess I’m also scared of the future and stuff that makes me anxious.

4:3 things I love.

Wrestling, Mega64, most of my family, my friends, video games, music, calmness and serenity, food, soda, soccer, football, sports in general, booty, curly hair, art, photography, art photography, cute girls, podcasting and just being a goof and making people laugh.

5:4 turn on’s.

I probably should have saved some of the things I love for this question lol. But yes, I love my a nice t h i c c booty or even a cute small one. I just love the booty, y’all. Praise be. I also like pale skin (I like everything though, don’t get it twisted. I think growing up with the goth/emo/scene subcultures has made me love girls that just don’t go out in the sun lol), curly hair, darker hair colors, when girls bite their lip, a sense of humor, athleticism, artsy girls, cute girls, girls that sing and/or play an instrument, Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Ramona Flowers, dirty talk, intimacy, and that’s about the extent I’ll disclose before potentially grossing out my irl friends and family with nsfw stuff lol.

6:4 turn off’s.

My turn-offs are pretty normal, tbh. Just smell good and express interest in me and you’re good.

7:My best friend?

I hate choosing just ONE best friend, but one of my oldest friends who I love very much is my buddy Hassan. We’ve been friends since the third grade.

8:Sexual orientation?

Straight yo, and I’ve had time to make sure that I am in my head haha. 

9:My best first date?

I honestly haven’t really gone on too many first dates. I went on a pretty good date with the last girl I dated, so I guess that one. We met on Tinder, and after a few months of texting each other because she had to go back to her college class out-of-state shortly after we matched, we finally met in-person at this mall. It was really nice.

10:How tall am I?

5′9″

11:What do I miss?

I miss a lot of things. I miss not having to stress about things. I miss how the relationship with my family used to be before I went to college. I miss intimacy and kissing and boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. I miss the beach (luckily, I’ll be going to Florida in a few days!!!). I miss a lot of dead wrestlers, Eddie Guerrero especially. I miss my friend David who committed suicide in high school. I miss having more time to play video games and to goof off. I dunno. I just miss stuff.

12:What time was I born?

No clue. My mom doesn’t remember.

13:Favorite color?

Blue. Royal blue, specifically

14:Do I have a crush?

I have a million crushes. Mostly the girls that I follow on this site! I also have crushes on Becky Lynch, Alexa Bliss, Lorde, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Aubrey Plaza, that curly-haired chick from Broad City. What’s her name…? Ilana… (takes time to look up last name) Glazer! Yeah, she’s fine as hell. 

15:Favorite quote?

“Heroes get remembered, but legends never die.”

“Ideas are bulletproof.”

I’m sure there’s a quote from wrestling that I’ll think of later

16:Favorite place?

Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

17:Favorite food?

General Tso’s chicken with cashews

18:Do I use sarcasm?

Yup

19:What am I listening to right now?

In this very moment? The sound of my fan.

In terms of music I’ve been listening to? My friend let me borrow his copy of Kendrick Lamar’s To Pimp A Butterfly, so I’ve been mainly listening to that. I also alternate between Humanz by Gorillaz and Kendrick Lamar’s DAMN.

20:First thing I notice in new person?

Their voice or face, I guess?

21:Shoe size?

10.5-11 U.S.

22:Eye color?

Brown

23:Hair color? 

It fluctuates between a darkish brown to almost black

24: Favorite style of clothing?

I hate picking just one lol. If I had to pick one, I really dig how skaters dress. I’ve always been a fan since Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater.

25:Ever done a prank call?

I think so?

26:What color of underwear I’m wearing now?

Navy blue

27:Meaning behind my URL?

I really like the running gag from King of the Hill where Dale Gribble goes by the fake name Rusty Shackleford. Unfortunately, that username is taken, so I decided to stylize it like the Japanese metal band Maximum The Hormone, although I guess Shackleford The Rusty would fit that theme more? Oh well. I’m a brand now. I gotta maintain it.

28:Favorite movie?

Currently, it’s Pulp Fiction. It was V for Vendetta for the longest time. Yeah, I know. Shut up.

29:Favorite song?

I have so many. Forty Six and 2 by Tool is definitely one of my all-time favorites.

30:Favorite band?

Gorillaz and Tool are fighting for my top spot on a pretty consistent basis.

31:How I feel right now?

Mostly excited for my Florida trip!

32:Someone I love.

My siblings.

33:My current relationship status.

Single af

34:My relationship with my parents.

Fine, I guess? 

35:Favorite holiday.

Christmas and Halloween

36:Tattoos and piercing I have.

None.

37:Tattoos and piercing I want.

I have no idea lol. I can’t think of anything that I wouldn’t hate in a month. Maybe something with a number 3 because I’m a triplet? No clue. I’m sure I’ll figure something out. I did want a lip piercing for a bit, and I sometimes get back into wanting one haha.

38:The reason I joined Tumblr.

Obscurus Lupa and other people on That Guy With The Glasses had Tumblrs. Being a fan of the site at the time, I would frequent their blogs to see what kinds of questions fans would ask. Eventually, I just made one and the rest is history.

39:Do I and my last ex hate each other?

Ex-girlfriend? No. We’re actually still friends.

Last girl I dated? Also no. We haven’t spoken since July though.

40:Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts?

Nah. I only really like those from girls I date anyway.

41:Have I ever kissed the last person I texted?

I have not!

42:When did I last hold hands?

It already feels like way too long ago. Realistically, a year or two.

43:How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

30 minutes to an hour depending if I need to shave my beard.

44:Have I shaved my legs in the past three days? 

Nope. I don’t shave my legs.

45: Where am I right now?

My room.

46:If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

I guess either my friend Adam or my friend Derrick. I don’t think I’ve ever been drunk to the point of not being able to stand though lol.

47:Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

Reasonable. Protect your ears, kids.

48:Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

Unfortunately.

49:Am I excited for anything?

Florida!

50:Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

I think so!

51:How often do I wear a fake smile?

Mostly when I go to work lol. 

52:When was the last time I hugged someone?

The other day, I believe.

53:What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

Well, that would be pretty messed up I guess since we haven’t talked in months. I would probably try to ignore them like the coward I am.

54:Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

Probably.

55:What is something I disliked about today?

Some of my friends weren’t able to hang with me today, one of which is soon going on a cross-country road trip for who knows how long, and I would like to see him before he leaves.

56:If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

There’s so many, but meeting Zlatan Ibrahimovic would be pretty dope. Also Cindy Sherman.

57:What do I think about most?

Sexy ladies and general thirsty thoughts, Magic: The Gathering, professional wrestling, what I’m going to eat next. Totally normal things

58:What’s my strangest talent?

I can make this weird belching/farting noise by puffing out my cheeks.

59:Do I have any strange phobias?

No clue. None that I can think of.

60:Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Both! I’m very much a performer, and I also love taking photos.

61:What was the last lie I told?

I told my friend I don’t know what my plans are tomorrow when I have sort of an idea.

62:Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

I guess video chatting because you can get visual cues to know when to speak.

63:Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Yes, and yes.

64:Do I believe in magic?

Yeah, to an extent.

65:Do I believe in luck?

Also yeah, to an extent.

66:What’s the weather like right now?

It was a little cool today, but it’s gonna be warmer tomorrow.

67:What was the last book I’ve read?

This really fucked up comic series called Crossed. I last read the first issue of Crossed: Badlands. Please do not look up Crossed. There is a lot of gore, rape, and other horribly unpleasant things. It’s very morbid. 

68:Do I like the smell of gasoline?

I do!

69:Do I have any nicknames?

None that I’d like to admit online lol…

70:What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

I almost broke a rib while wrestling my friend once

71:Do I spend money or save it?

I spend it. I’m definitely going to start saving soon.

72:Can I touch my nose with a tongue? 

Nope.

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?

Yup. A couple of Mega64 posters, one of which is the new one they sent out for their Patreon.

74:Favorite animal?

I like snakes.

75:What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

Probably scrolling down this hellsite.

76:What do I think Satan’s last name is?

Christ ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh

77:What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

I can’t think of any specific ones at the moment. Probably older songs that trigger nostalgia for me.

78:How can you win my heart?

Gimme dat s u c c

In all seriousness, just be compatible with me and maintain interest in me.

Although given dat s u c c wouldn’t hurt.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

“He did a lot of what he wanted to do in life and was as happy as he could be.”

80:What is my favorite word?

aka (prounounced awka)

I can’t think of a more serious answer that isn’t that Donnie Darko scene where the girl says “cellar door” is the most beautiful phrase in the English language.

81:My top 5 blogs on tumblr?

My blog x5

82:If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

I have no idea what I’m doing. Please send help.

83:Do I have any relatives in jail?

Not that I know of, but who knows with how often my dad keeps secrets of his side of the family hidden.

84:I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

Photosynthesis

85:What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Probably a few things…

86:What is my current desktop picture?

D.C. United’s logo with their entire regular season schedule

87:Had sex?

Hahahahahahaha nope.

88:Bought condoms?

Hahahahahahaha yeah.

89:Gotten pregnant?

I would hope not. Ya know. Since I don’t have a uterus.

90:Failed a class?

Yeah

91:Kissed a boy?

No

92:Kissed a girl?

Absolutely

93:Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

Maybe?

94:Had job?

Yeah

95:Left the house without my wallet?

Probably

96:Bullied someone on the Internet?

Nope.

97:Had sex in public?

Please refer to question #87

98:Played on a sports team?

Not in any sort of program. I’ve only played on recreational soccer teams. Those aren’t anything serious though.

99:Smoked weed?

Yeah

100:Did drugs?

Weed is a drug, so technically yeah.

101:Smoked cigarettes?

Yeah. They’re disgusting

102:Drank alcohol?

Yup.

103:Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

No

104:Been overweight?

Yes indeedy

105:Been underweight?

Nope. I’ve only ever been a fatty.

106:Been to a wedding?

Yes

107:Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

Of course

108:Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

Definitely

109:Been outside my home country?

Nope :(

110:Gotten my heart broken?

Hahahahahahahahahaha yes

111:Been to a professional sports game?

Absolutely

112:Broken a bone?

Thankfully, no.

113:Cut myself?

Not on purpose

114:Been to prom?

Twice.

115:Been in airplane? 

No

116: Fly by helicopter?

No

117:What concerts have I been to?

Let’s see if I can remember them all! I’ve been to a bunch of local shows since I’ve been in a band!

DC101 Chili Cookoff 2009

Linkin Park/Mutemath

Tool

Fozzy

Alice in Chains/Jane’s Addiction/Coheed and Cambria/Circa Survive

The Protomen

Powerglove

Iron Maiden/Dream Theater

DJ Cutman

Probably a bunch of other things

118:Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

I mean, I guess so? Nothing I would have wanted to act on though.

119:Learned another language?

I can sort-of speak German!

120:Wore make up?

I put on eyeliner one time but my mom made me take it off before we went home so my dad wouldn’t see it and be pissed lol.

121:Lost my virginity before I was 18?

Please refer to question #87

122:Had oral sex?

Yep.

123:Dyed my hair?

Nothing more than my bangs. And even then, it was such a shitty dark blue, you could hardly tell it apart from my normal hair color. My parents weren’t very fun.

124:Voted in a presidential election?

Yeah

125:Rode in an ambulance?

No

126:Had a surgery?

Nothing besides getting my wisdom teeth removed

127:Met someone famous?

Only people that are famous on the internet

128:Stalked someone on a social network?

I mean, who hasn’t???

129:Peed outside?

Yeah

130:Been fishing?

Yeah

131:Helped with charity?

Yup

132:Been rejected by a crush?

Eventually

133:Broken a mirror?

Loooooooool yeah

134:What do I want for birthday?

To be able to go to Gamedays

135:How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

No more than two. I like the name Julia for a girl, and I have no idea what I would name a boy haha. I do like Max and Sebastian, but those are such stereotypical overly proper white parent names. Hopefully, I’ll have plenty of time to figure that out!

136:Was I named after anyone?

Nope.

137:Do I like my handwriting?

Eh. It’s unique, I guess?

138:What was my favorite toy as a child?

Video games

139:Favorite TV Show?

I don’t really keep up with TV all that much anymore, but It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia is one of the funniest god-damned shows on the planet. I love it so much.

140:Where do I want to live when older?

Somewhere in which I’m happy and financially secure.

141:Play any musical instrument?

I play the drums! I’ve been playing for about 11 years.

142:One of my scars, how did I get it?

My right ring finger is a little swollen and purple from what I believe was when I had a door get closed on it when I was a child.

143:Favorite pizza topping?

White sauce, chicken, and bacon. There’s also nothing wrong with a classic pepperoni.

144:Am I afraid of the dark?

Sometimes, the dark is very terrifying all alone

145:Am I afraid of heights?

Not really

146:Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

Lol yep.

147:Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

That’s basically my life

148:What I’m really bad at.

Picking up signals from girls that might be interested in me. I’m always just assuming that people are just friendly, and I have low self-esteem when it comes to my date-ability 

149:What my greatest achievements are.

Finishing college.

150:The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me.

Why you gotta make me think about that?

151:What I’d do if I won in a lottery.

Pay off my student loans

152:What do I like about myself?

The fact that I’m a triplet, my butt, my drumming ability, my art

153:My closest Tumblr friend.

@it-was-real-horrorshow

154:Something I fantasies about.

Mostly inappropriate things

Holy fuck, that was a lot to answer! Thank you for the interest, I guess!