#have these fuckers

[gomzdrawfr]

who needs therapy when you have your girlfriend's palms

[bitchfitch]

writing advice for characters with a missing eye: dear God does losing an eyes function fuck up your neck. Ever since mine crapped out I've been slowly and unconsciously shifting towards holding my head at an angle to put the good eye closer to the center. and human necks. are not meant to accommodate that sorta thing.

[twinliches]

cannot stop thinking about the french man who during dinner responded to a person asking "should we be naughty and get desert" by pulling a face and going "naughty? it is chocolate, it is not an, uh, threesome"

[whump-it-like-its-hot]

So earlier in art class today, someone drew a characters hands in their pockets and mentioned that hands are really like the ultimate end boss of art, and most of us wholeheartedly agreed. So then, our teacher went ahead and free handed like a handful of hands on the board, earning a woah from a couple of students. So the one from earlier mentioned how it barely took the teacher ten seconds to do what I can’t do in three hours. And you know what he responded?

“It didn’t take me ten seconds, it took me forty years.”

And you know, that stuck with me somehow. Because yeah. Drawing a hand didn’t take him fourth years. But learning and practicing to draw a hand in ten seconds did. And I think there’s something to learn there but it’s so warm and my brain is fried so I can’t formulate the actual morale of the lesson.

[vvenuspng]

💥📣 BLITZO SUX

[staffs-secret-blog]

Next april fools we're only showing people you've blocked on the dashboard

[wuntrum]

what if a femme robot liked it when her butch creator performed routine maintenance tasks on her (in a sexual way) (and they were both girls)? i guess you'll have to read my new (free) comic to find out!!

[specsthesecond]

Imagine how hard it must be getting out of bed in the morning with your massive orc husband passed tf out on top of you.

Snoring in your ear, arms slung over you to pull your back into his chest, his leg over yours too. You're not going anywhere lmao.

Feeling all his dead weight on you makes you realise how gentle he is with you when he's awake.

You have to shuffle around quite a bit before stirring him, even then he only digs his tusks into the crook of your neck and mumbles some sleepy gibberish.

Asking him to let you get up will get you nothing but a grumble as he brings the sheets up over your shoulders and traps you in a cozy prison.

The only possibilities for escape are:

1. Telling him you have to pee, in which he'll begrudgingly let you go. He follows you to the bathroom door, blanket around his shoulders, waiting for you to do your business. He'll then snatch you up the second you open the door and carry you back to bed so you can make up for lost cuddle time.

2. Waking him up with a morning fuck. Just grind back on him and he'll hum lowly, kissing up your neck, his cock waking up as he grinds back on you. Emptying his balls in your hole seems to be the best way to get him up and going for the day. Afterwards, you'll be fucked out in bed while he walks around the bedroom, all awake and cheery while getting dressed, making the bed, asking you what you want for breakfast and what the plans are for the day.

[monstrousdesirestudy]

I can’t stop cackling; I goddamn love horny statues. This dragon statue (Fuente del Dragón) is found in Soportújar, Spain. It features an erect dragon dick that spurts water. So the rumors go, if you drink from the water it contains aphrodisiac properties and enhances fertility 👀✨

If anyone knows of any other horny monster statues let me know! I love this shit, always tickles me to see

[mugiwara-lucy]

Kamala will make the FUNNIEST president in all of American history 😂

[thebibliosphere]

Still not over the head of cardiology, who said she wouldn't formally diagnose me with dysautonomia because she didn't want me to think of myself as disabled.

As if good vibes and a can-do attitude can stabalize autonomic dysfunction.

[sheepgirlmaidtummy]

man. this whole thing pisses me off because like. even when people talk about staff having a history of hating trans women, that this isnt the first time, without fail black trans women are forgotten to be included again and again. im not surprised this caused such an uproar when the popular white woman gets deleted. nobody should be, its been that way like forever. some cunt in my inbox got annoyed i called rita a sex worker (lol? okay)

but i mentioned that in my post because so many black trans women have gotten removed from this site for their sex work alone, regardless of if it "broke community guidelines" or not, especially when tumblr live and the ads on this website are so fucking horny. idek what to say rn because like. this wont get as many notes as the posts talking about her will. the exploding car thing is gonna get more attention than the trans women on this site you dont actually care about listening to. ive been talking about how unfair it is to be a black tgirl on this site for years and nobody cares.

i love rita, we talked abit the other day and she's doing fine, dont get it twisted and think i hate her or some bs, she's a big fucking reason im not fucking homeless.

but part of why her deletion got to #1 trending on tumblr for multiple days in a row is that she's white

[badasserywomen]

I love my two murder tanks

[who-always-pays-their-taxes]

i just think that Duke Thomas should like oink at Dick Grayson. I think that when Dick tries to come in Duke’s room and have like a weird sibling heart-to-heart, Duke’s like “u got a warrant, pig???” and Dicks like 👁️👄👁️. Duke passive-aggressively hands Dick a doughnut. And Dick doesn’t rrly get shit for being a cop/having been a cop bc most ppl assume he’s a stripper, so this is new to him.

[techmomma]

Just in case anyone needs a history lesson:

The nazi salute IS the roman salute. Because. They specifically chose to use... the roman salute. To invoke the grandiose and history of the roman empire. Like. That was a specific choice they made when they were creating their empire. They didn't call it a nazi salute. THE NAZIS CALLED IT A ROMAN SALUTE.

They did not happen to create a salute that looks identical. They said "we like the roman salute because the romans created the idea of fascism, so we are going to use it." Fascism, if you didn't know, is derived from the ROMAN word for a symbol called the Fasces. It represents the ultimate power of a single leader over their subjects! I wonder why that would be really appealing for them as a symbol!

They were ALSO taking a little inspiration from us, Americans, because we were also using it in the early part of the 1900s!

Because Americans ALSO liked the whole "connection to the roman empire" part! If you think white people NOW have a boner for the roman empire, you should have seen them a century ago!

Americans, understandably, stopped using it, because we got in a war with the only other people who were using it more than we were and were creating some real fucked-up associations with it: THE NAZIS.

[reguluskeys]

Regulus writing James love letters, only signing them with a star at the end, because he doesn’t know how to properly express his emotions and is terrified of rejection from the embodiment of the sun.

James trying to figure out who wrote the letters and slowly becoming friends with regulus, and overtime hoping he’s the one sending the notes.

Regulus slipping up and accidentally quoting himself, making James realize his wish came true.