#have something half-serious half-stoopid

[shares-a-vest]

here's to one whole year of suffering from steddie brainrot! does that mean it's permanent if you reach the one-year hyperfixation mark?

"You realise it's been a year, right?" Eddie says, breaking the silence as they look out over the trailer park, now situated one clearing over from the former Forest Hills park, "A year since we met?"

Steve huffs a laugh and leans forward so that Eddie has no choice but to look at his frown.

"Dude, we met way before last year."

Eddie shrugs and takes a puff on his cigarette, "You know what I mean."

Steve hums and shuffles close so he can rest his head on his shoulder, "It's been a long year."

"With me?" he chuckles.

"No!" Steve practically yells in protest, his voice echoing out into the night, "You know what I mean."

Duh. Of course, he does. They both have the nightmares, migraines, permanent scars (some of which match) and the back pain of senior citizens to prove that, hell yes, it has been a long goddamn year.

He takes one last drag before stubbing out his cigarette - an activity he probably shouldn't even be partaking in anymore considering.

Steve coughs, or more, splutters as he tries to unsuccessfully cover it up. Despite it being Spring, a hellhole opening up for a while kinda totally changed the climate of Hawkins. It still feels like Winter and Steve, now a sniffly and sickly dude after a few bats to the guts and an undead vine to the neck, is on the precipice of a cold.

As if on cue, Wayne opens the front door. Eddie swears the old man has developed superhuman hearing this past year as he frets over the two of them.

Jesus, Steve was already living here with Wayne before Eddie was even discharged from the hospital. His uncle hadn't said much at the time but a clipped, "The kid said his parents aren't around" said enough that yes, Eddie will drag Steve back inside if he asks.

"You boys better come in," he insists.

Eddie doesn't remember much of when he first came to live with his uncle. It was all so rushed and he was so overwhelmed with what had happened with his own parents, but he imagines Wayne's boarding-on-overbearing care for Steve resembles that time.

Jesus, Steve was already living here with Wayne before Eddie was even discharged from the hospital. His uncle hadn't said much at the time but a clipped, "The kid said his parents aren't around" said enough that yes, Eddie will drag Steve back inside if he asks.

Wayne lingers as Eddie grips Steve's arm tight and pulls him up off the warn couch. His uncle nods affirmatively as they squish past to step inside and he closes the door behind him.

Steve twirls around under Eddie's arm, bending it awkwardly in a way that makes him grimace - he should really warn a guy!

"Maybe we better go do something, to celebrate?" he suggests, huffing his fringe from his eyes.

He blinks hard. That movement, no matter how cute and fleeting, very obviously made Steve dizzy. Eddie places his hands on his hips to steady him and guides him to his designated spot, the third chair, at the square dining table.

Wayne resumes his seat in his recliner, lounging back with a loud contended, "ah". Eddie looks at the television and rolls his eyes. Tagging along to watch a rerun of Columbo - part of what he likes to refer to as 'Old Man Hour', which also features Get Smart and Hogan's Heroes - doesn't seem particularly romantic.

And, judging by the glint in Steve's pretty eyes, he's expecting as much. Eddie outstretches his hand.

"Wayne?" he calls over his shoulder as he wiggles his fingers, "Steve and I are going out for our one-year anniversary."

"Alrighty," Wayne mumbles, "Wear a coat."

His voice is almost drowned-out as Peter Falk, oh-so-witty in his trenchcoat, quips, "Oh, and just one more thing!"

"Eds," Steve laughs as he scrubs a hand over his face, "It isn't our one-year anniversary either. That's in like, maybe three weeks?"

"You don't know our anniversary?" he teases, knowing they are going to get absolutely nowhere like this.

But it's fun.

He moves his fingers up Steve's arm, crawling and tickling him like a spider.

"Not sure of the exact date, actually," Steve admits, flinching away from his touch abruptly enough that his chair scuffs on the linoleum, "We haven't really talked about it."

Eddie waves his hands as if he's a magician giving a dramatic ta-da! reveal as he sings, "Problem solved, neither of us know for sure. So today it is."

Steve slowly nods, a wide grin sweeping across his face. He dips his head in acknowledgement.

"Happy one-year anniversary of you shoving a broken bottle in my face."

He stops mid-invisible toast to shriek, "You were going to attack me with a boat oar!"

"What happened?" Wayne asks as his chair creaks forward.

The footrest snaps back into place, making the pair jump.

[tantancantdoshit]

Dream says "He doesn't listen" when he actually means "he doesn't do everything I say the exact moment I say it"

[remakethestars]

Being Batman’s Daughter Would Include:

Headcanons.

❝Listen, Robin. At their core, people are cowardly and self-serving. Trust no one until you know them. And even then, never completely.❞

— Bruce Wayne, “The Lesson Plan”

TRIGGER WARNING: Plant murder. Mentions of drugs/tranqs (stopping dealers), violence/physical harm, broken bones (knee cap), limb dislocation (shoulder), (Jason’s) death, smoke, waterboarding/drowning?

Headcanon masterlist.

You know how every teenager has that paradigm shift because as much as they love the people around them, they’ll never know the inner workings of your psyche? And they realize they’ll never truly be known? And it makes them feel really lonely?

Yeah, you never come to feel like that because you know Bruce digs so far into everyone around him he probably knows you better than you do.

Honestly, he probably reads your diary. At least, he reads the fake one you hide under your mattress. And the second decoy in the A.C. vent above your dresser.

If you’re as paranoid as Bruce, you probably don’t have a diary, and the aforementioned “decoys” are just to mess with him.

Sun Tzu’s The Art of War was practically your Bible growing up.

You’re torn between giving yourself the tactical advantage of being underestimated & being non-reactive, which — besides giving you the lioness role in the lion–gazelle dynamic — gives you the advantage of having time to think carefully on the repercussions before speaking.

Because, as Sun Tzu said in chapter seven, verse twenty-one, “Ponder and deliberate before you make a move.”

Seeing as Bruce and Damian both have eidetic memories, I’m guessing you do too. 

Which means you totally read the dictionary when you were young and whip our big words nobody’s heard of.

Bruce always assured you it’s okay to be scared. As a matter of fact, like he told Dick (seen in flashbacks in “The Lesson Plan”), he taught you to “Let terror embrace you. The better you know fear, the better you can use it against others.”

And we all know Bruce is the paragon of using fear against people.

Take that, Scarecrow!

(See, I chose that gif because earlier in that move, he displays a fear of bats, & in that scene, he summons them to use as a distraction and walks through them completely unperturbed. No? Okay, I’ll see myself out.)

You started into the vigilante business young, a little bulge under the back of Batman’s cape that made the rest of the Justice League in the meeting think Bruce was host to an alien parasite until your little mask-covered eyes poked up over his shoulder.

The League’s known you since you were young, so they kind of all see you as their niece. That just quadruples the amount of people who are overprotective of you.

Eventually, in your tweens, you think enough’s enough and start out on your own — being underestimated may be an advantage, but it’s getting ridiculous — and you tackle unsolved cases.

You set up various safe houses around the world for your own disposal (using the zeta tubes) and anyone who sees the inside of one in an emergency is always surprised. You don’t really understand why; what serious vigilante doesn’t have secure, state-of-the-art safe locations scattered across the planet?

Sometimes, it gets you into danger, but you always get yourself out of it. If there ever comes a time you can’t, well, you’ve got a direct link to Batman, and if communications fail, you can always yell for your Uncle Clark at the top of your lungs.

If the latter ever comes to fruition, you ask Bruce if he’s disappointed you had to call for back-up or that you called Superman instead of Batman, and he says, “It takes a strong person to admit when they’re weak, [Y/N]; if anything, I’m proud of you. Besides … you’re not the only one who yells for Uncle Clark when they get in over their head.”

Your training entailed hacking and mechanics, so you like to fix computers and sell them on the internet Hugh Jeffreys style. It started out with Macs from the dumpster behind Gotham Academy and turned into a surprising side hustle. Large portions of your profits go into either savings or funding your extracurricular activities. 

You’re using a MacBook that’s running Linux and an iPhone 4 that’s running your own program. 

At some point, your phone falls into the wrong hands, and someone asks why it has such high security. You deadpan and say, “I have three older brothers.” No further explanation required.

One such solo case led you to a ring of drug dealers working in a small town outside of Gotham. You made some tranquillizers and heavy-duty smoke bombs and busted out your shinobi-iri training.

After sliding on a mask covering the bottom half of your face that filtered out smoke, you set all of the bombs off at once in the ventilation system, filling the building and using the infrared in your domino mask to sedate everyone before the cops arrived so no one got hurt (because there would inevitably be a firefight if the cops got involved).

You never go into a situation expecting to go hand-to-hand with someone; you always have a plan to take our your targets quickly an efficiently.

One night, when you’re working on a cold case in Gotham, you stumble across some intel that Poison Ivy’s been stockpiling chemicals and is going to wipe out all human life on Earth.

Luckily for you, Bruce’s paranoia is hereditary; you just happen to carry some white kryptonite in your belt, so you won’t have to go all the way back to the cave to obtain some.

You type out a quick debrief on your wrist computer in case you end up needing to send out an S.O.S., pop on your bottom mask to filter out spores or pheromones she might send in your direction, and bust out your shinobi-iri training again.

Of course, you try the peaceful approach, explaining to Ivy that you agree with her on the tree-hugger front to build rapport (T.B.F., who doesn’t?), but it comes to physical confrontation. You kill every vine that comes your way with a quick punch from your kryptonite ring, toss an expanding polyurethane foam bomb (see Batgirl #38) at her feet, and manage to get an inhibitor collar on her.

Gordon takes her away, and by the next morning, it’s on the news.

“You took down Ivy by yourself?” Bruce asks when you come down for breakfast.

“… Yeah,” you say after a moment, expecting a tongue-lashing.

“Are you hurt?”

“No. She didn’t get a hit in. And before you ask, I had a contingency set up in case things went sideways.”

“… Good job.”

Your dad has the article framed in the batcave, which is the bat-equivalent of having your drawing on the fridge or getting a sticker back on a test.

You’re fighting a grin for the rest of the day.

It bugs you you can’t tell anyone why you’re so happy, so you visit Dick in Blüdhaven while he’s on patrol and give him a play-by-play. You even get a hair-ruffle!

Deathstroke targets you at some point. One of Batman and Nightwing’s worst villains, and he targets you because he knows they love you. You’re the smallest bat at the time, the weakest; he thinks you’ll be the easiest to take.

Boy, was he wrong.

He was trained by the League of Assassins, so you know dropping a smoke bomb’s not going to give you cover (and his mask probably has infrared). His brain processes faster than yours, so tricking him is improbable. He’s probably done enough research on you to know you favor foam bombs and has fast enough reflexes to dodge before they go off.

And he’s jammed your comms so you can’t call for backup. You’re worried he’s got kryptonite on him and will hurt Superman if you call for help.

It’s just you and him.

He has enhanced stamina, so he tries to wear you out. You maintain distance to avoid taking damage and wearing faster.

You always admired Tim for his ability to plan ahead (see, like, the entirety of the Red Robin comics). He doesn’t know how he does it; he just does. He can’t really teach you, so you just watch and learn.

You realize your fight with Slade is just a matter of managing the distance and immobilizing him, so you strike. You duck behind a pillar or grab onto a railing or something and shoot him through the thigh with your grappling gun, reeling him in. He, of course, draws his sword or a knife to cut the line, but you’re already throwing high-density expanding polyurethane bombs.

And, just like that, you’ve single-handedly taken Deathstroke.

It sends a clear message to the rest of the Gotham villains, Blüdhaven’s villains, the League of Assassins — don’t mess with the bat’s little girl. She can hold her own.

Now it’s time for you to come up with another plan to take him down; you doubt the same method will work twice, and you’ve just made a very powerful enemy.

As Wonder Woman’s said, “Do not mistake a desire to avoid violence for an inability to deal with it.” You might go into most situations with a plan to take down your opponent already in motion, but when it comes to an all-out brawl, you’re perfectly capable and don’t pull your punches.

You’re working on an unsolved case in Blüdhaven (Dick’s got enough on his plate) when you get an S.O.S. from the aforementioned along with the feed and recording from his mask. You listen to the mission briefing while you ride back to the cave and then the audio from the Young Justice mission. They got jumped by the League of Shadows in an abandoned factory, and Talia’s trying to coerce Damian into joining the League or whatever.

The usual dropping some smoke bombs and tranqing everyone isn’t going to work on thirty armed League assassins who were trained to fight blind, so you load up on polyurethane foam bombs and call Jason and Cassandra.

The three of you take out the guards outside before splitting up and taking either end of the building (Cass stays with you). You meet in the middle, in the room the team’s being held in.

You highjacked the speakers, so they’re blasting AC/DC’s “Shoot to Thrill” upon Jason’s insistence. You wanted Zayde Wølf or Alice Cooper’s “Hey, Stoopid,” but big brothers will be big brothers.

Jason pops them with rubber bullets from above to slow them down for you while Cass demolishes them and you drop foam bombs, slinging your signature custom shuriken, bonk them over the head with Tim’s staff you picked up along the way, dislocate their arms, or shatter their kneecaps. 

You and Jason get a couple slices from swords that got a little too close, but it’s nothing compared to what you’ve had before. 

When the fighting’s done and the building’s quiet, the team’s, like, “Who the heck are you guys?” 

And Dick’s, like, 😏 “They’re our siblings.” 

Speaking of siblings, you’re older than Damian, and as such, you take upon yourself the honor of teaching him all things pop-culture.

“I have a lot of amazing older siblings. I want to be a good big sister.”

First things first, you give him one of your refurbished e-waste phones and take him to Target to pick out an OtterBox or a LifeProof case or something that’ll keep it safe in the pocket of a vigilante.

Vigilantes are always coming to you when their phone’s broken anyway; you’ve got a stack of spares you’ve repaired.

Then you help him set up a Spotify account (follow me at @remakethestars 😉) and try to help him find his rhythm.

Poor child’s never had Oreos before, so you drag a pack of Double Stuffs out of the cabinet and a glass of milk and show him the best milk-dunking method you know.

You think about handing him a cookie and telling him to waterboard it until the bubbles stop coming up, but cookie-dunking is something every kid does; it’s sacred, and you don’t want him to associate it with violence.

You show him how you and Alfred feed the bats in the batcave.

And you show him Vine compilations and your favorite shows and movies and as many classics as you can, and you put up with him pointing out the inaccuracies and calling them stupid.

Every time he doesn’t get a reference, you write it down so you know what to show him later.

If anything ever happens to you, Damian finds your list and makes it his personal mission to watch/read everything on it. It makes him feel close to you.

You build a relationship with him that’s similar to his and Dick’s, and he comes to you with things he might not be able to come to anyone else with.

Plus, since you live in the manor still and he doesn’t want Bruce to think less of him, it’s you he comes to after a nightmare.

If you know Alfred has pictures of him curled up in your side, you ask him to send them to you. Not for blackmail purposes; just to have.

You’d never use the need of comfort or the sharing of emotions against him because (A) it’s perpetuating toxic masculinity and (B) you don’t want him to think it’s wrong or confirm any of the stupid “strength” things the League of Shadows taught him.

You gave him a stuffed cat that looks like Alfred (the cat, not the butler) with some of your perfume spritzed on it. He verbalized his revulsion when you gave it to him, but on nights he has a bad dream and you’re not home, it brings him comfort.

Titus comes to get you when Damian’s upset. 

Even when he’s not with Damian, he seems to know. Pets are like that.

You’ve learned to trust Titus’s instincts. Damian thinks it’s suspicious when he’s feeling down and you just happen to call.

You never realized it until a long time later, but Ace was acting weird the day Jason came back from the dead.

And he was acting weird the day Jason came back to Gotham too. He ran to the door and began barking. Alfred swept security, but nothing seemed to be off. The whole family was on edge that day.

You were the reason Jason knew he wasn’t completely forgotten; he spotted you through a café window, and you were wearing his jacket.

Visit my headcanon masterlist.

[loloisafangirl]

hey uh kind of a weird question but im a new blog and im just trying to figure some stuff out. anyway i wanted to ask when u started ur blog and how long it took u to get where u r now. congrats on everything btw! i love ur stuff!!!!!!

Hey!!!! Of course!!

I started my blog a year and a half ago ish, just a few weeks (or months, it’s kinda blurry) before I started my first fanfic. It’s always been greek mythology but I was a little more into the pjo side back then lol. So yee, it’s taken about a year and a half to get here, so it’s not exactly a steep incline to success hahaha. (But btw thank u for 2500!). And this doesn’t really relate completely to ur question, but a few people have asked me for some tips and stuff so I’ll use this oppurtunity to share them haha:

-pick a profile pic and username and stick to it! If you feel the need to change them, always make sure one stays the same for a few weeks until everyone knows it’s you and then you can make the full change. If you’re trying to get big, specifically on a certain tag, you need to make sure the people that frequent that tag recognize you, and keeping the same profile pic and username is the best strategy for that. I’d say that keeping ur username is more important than ur profile pic, though

-use tags. Lotsssss of tags. Tbh as long as it applies, I’ll use it. Whenever I make chat posts I almost always have the gods from classical myths in mind and I consider myself a classical Greek myth blog (obviously not a serious one lol), but if I find it can match pjo’s interpretation I’ll tag that and same for lore Olympus. Obviously, if the post shows Apollo in a good light, I’m not going to tag lore Olympus. For some people that isn’t really their style, but tbh I don’t think me liking pjo and lore Olympus takes away from my knowledge of actual Greek myth so it doesn’t bother me. This can be applied for poetry blogs (i.g “writing” “authors” and other tags that are typically just used for novel-style writing) and a whole lot of others.

-this has many exceptions, but limit your reblogs. Especially posts that don’t have anything to do with your blog. Like if I go onto your blog thinking it’s greek mythology and every other post is political or from some other ‘fandom’ (is Greek mythology a fandom???? I guess if we separate it from the religious part??? I mean we act like one but it’s still weird to call it that hdjdjd) I’m prolly not going to follow you. And that’s not just reblogs I suppose: stick to your theme, even if it’s original content.

-be nice!!!!!! I mean obviously getting big shouldn’t be the only reason you’re being nice lol, but unless the whole point of ur blog is being edgy people are gonna take one look at you being rude to an anon and turn away. Also, just don’t be mean in general we learned this in first grade people

-don’t be afraid to mix up ur content!! Some ppl don’t know this, but a lot of my earlier content was shit like “modern day Greek gods” “Greek gods as people” and all that poetic aesthetic shit and some of those are my biggest posts so yee

-unless ur a political blog, I don’t wanna see political shit. periodt

-don’t follow any of this advice tbh I’m stoopid

-be you!!!!!!! ew that sounds like some basic white girl shit but I am, in fact, a basic white girl so. There have been a lot of times where I’ll post something and someone doesn’t agree with it, and while I’ll always take their opinion into consideration, if I truly like that idea or that post I’m going to keep it/keep doing it. (Unless obviously I accidentally said smth offensive). I find a lot of times more classical blogs get pissed under my hades/Persephone posts and I’m just like homie. you want me to ship hades and poseidon???? Cuz that’s my next option shut ur trap

-my stomach hurts :(((

-if ur under 18, don’t say ur age. I have learned my lesson some of y’all need Jesus god bles

-don’t be afraid to ask questions!!!!!! Not only does this get you Educated™️, but people will know you! I have annoyed so many ppl with questions it’s become a hobby of mine. My go to is @clasassist, but if you’re also a Greek mythology blog then some other good ones are @my-name-is-apollo @ellakay69 @not-so-nerdyy and prolly a lot of other ones I’m forgetting.

So yeah!!! I hope some of this helps!! And thank you btw, good luck!!!!!

(And also sorry for ranting bdjdjdjf)

[evangclines-blog1]

what  if  we  ......  pretended  this  was  a  good  intro  .....  aha  just  kidding  .....  unless  ?  i  was  just  gonna  link  to  all  my  stuff  but  ...  ur  girl  wrote  a  lot  and  i  don’t  wanna  be  cruel  and  force  u  all  to  read  everything  JDBWBDJBWJ  so  here we  go  !!   <3

( VENUS, PARK SOOYOUNG, CIS FEMALE, SHE /HER ) guess what, EVANGELINE RHEE has just landed in cannes with their private jet. they are a TWENTY-TWO year old socialite, who spends much of their time & money UPDATING THEIR SKINCARE ROUTINE. i think their family is in the ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY and their net worth is around 10B USD.   

first things first ... i’m gonna drop some links in case u want to read everything i wrote at 6 am the day the submit closed bc im stoopid like that <3 

here u can find her full bio, stats, extended stats, and hcs ! the hcs are definitely the most fun to read so i recommend going to that page hehe

into the summary we go !

BACKSTORY:  suicide mention tw

eva’s dad is a movie producer and her mom was the beautiful woman he met at a train station <3 her parents had a very whirlwind romance, very love at first sight, very passionate and intense type of relationship literally everything you see in hollywood ? they had that ! they got married after only a year of knowing each other and had eva soon after 

thats when things got not-so-picturesque /: after having eva, her mom entered a pretty dark depression. eva’s dad ( who had been aware of his wife’s mental health and even warned by her family against doing anything crazy like getting married and having a whole baby so fast ) was kinda in denial about everything. eva’s mom still had her good days, but the bad days were really bad & when eva was only two years old her mom had an accident & passed away 

so while eva’s dad was grieving, he sent little eva to new york city to go live with her grandma !! eva adored her grandmother more than anyone else. she was a retired jazz singer, and a lot of what they did together was sit around and listen to old records <3 eva lived with her until she was five years old & that’s pretty much the only childhood she can remember since her mom died when she was so young !! 

when her dad brings eva back to france, he’s doing a lot better. he’s back to producing movies and throwing parties and being a part of society again ( things he had stopped while he was grieving for his wife ) and he even found his own form of “medicine” which was simply the company of beautiful women ! most of them were young actresses he met through his work, all of them were gorgeous, and they all adored little eva <3 

eva adored them right back ! they taught her stuff she imagined all mother’s teach their daughters: how to dress well, how to smell nice, how to get people’s attention, what makeup to wear, how to do your hair, how to speak so everyone hangs on to your every word, etc. she was still a little girl but she was absorbing all these lessons like a sponge, & it’s a big part of why she’s so obsessed with her own femininity and why she’s got this mindset about being beautiful inside & out in order to feel balanced. 

none of the women her dad brought home were ever at her house for more than a week. her father, who had been a notorious bachelor before eva’s mother, seemed incapable of falling in love again. that was his first and maybe only lesson to eva, which was how to break hearts, which is something else she absorbed & carried with her as she grew up

as eva grew up, she kinda became obsessed with trying to imagine what her mom had been like. no one in her family liked to talk about her, especially not her dad, but she knew she looked just like her and she was kinda always trying to fill in the blanks. but then one christmas her dad let it slip that her mom’s death hadn’t been an accident at all, that it had been on purpose. that was kind of the turning point for eva & she just kind of....stopped trying to re imagine her mom after that just kinda wanting to let her rest /:

she also went through a phase of doing stuff just because she could. she’d flirt with people’s boyfriends, she’d make strangers fall in love with her, she’d date people just to break up with them suddenly, etc. she kind of realized just how much she could get away with, but more than that, just how far people would go when they fell in love. she was obsessed with that, but also kind of jealous of those people just because she’d never felt that kind of soul shattering love for someone before and she really does want to </3 while she’s never been in love before, and while she does get bored of lovers easily, she still feels a type of attachment that is sometimes so strong she’s not willing to let the other person go even if she’s being selfish by hanging onto people she can’t get serious abt /: thats just life sometimes......whore rights !

FUN FACTS , PERSONALITY, AND TIDBITS: whore antics tw

 goes by eva, never evangeline. her grandma has always called her angel, and so that nickname has also carried over naturally

libra sun AND moon babey ! read abt it here

wears euphoria makeup to do groceries

 moved from paris to new york city for college to attend columbia university. double majored in english literature and business management. 

created what she called the “manhattan group” in reference to the bloomsbury group, which was a group of associated english writers, intellectuals, philosophers and artists in the first half of the 20th century ( that included writers like virginia woolf ) duringher freshman year. although meetings were supposed to be about discussing literature, it mostly became a place to drink warming champagne, flirt, and gossip. eva hosted the events & meetings off campus inside her loft. the manhattan group only lasted her freshman year though, as rumors of all the underage drinking and “cult-like behavior” persuaded her to drop it. that, and the fact that more than one member had fallen in love with her and things were getting quite tense. 

she never carries a lighter because she likes the way more than one person will offer her one if she asks for a light <3 

it’s a famous rumor that eva once spilled her drink on her chanel mini-dress at a charity gala and stripped down to her lingerie in front of everyone. it would have stayed a rumor if it wasn’t for the instagram story that went up of her only her underwear. 

she has a house phone in her nyc loft that only a select few people ( minus the strangers she’s given the number to while drunk ) know the number 

has a three year old black cat named june that she brought with ehr to cannes <3 

is the proud owner of a black maserati despite being an infamous bad driver. no one in their right mind, especially not her friends, would ever trust eva to drive.

it’s rumored she once snuck onto the yacht of a ceo to a fortune 500 company, only for him to find her in nothing but a bath towel eating chocolates while flipping through his playboy magazines, and that he was so taken with her instead of pressing charges he decided to name the boat after eva.

once spent a whole day walking around paris in a cheap pink wig and calling herself yvette. nobody could figure out why. eva often pulls stunts like this on a whim.

believes 2 is an unlucky number and is very superstitious about it, as that is the year her mother died. fully believes her twenties are cursed and is actually looking forward to the day she turns 30 just to escape the 2′s.

leonardo dicaprio once made a pass at her during the after party of a movie premiere she was attending.

during full moons, eva always has sex with the windows open. even if it’s winter, a window will be cracked open. this is one of her many personal superstitions. 

has a collection of old love letters, mixtapes, and presents past suitors and secret admirers have gifted her. while she cannot remember the origin of quite a few of the objects in her collection, she is attached to them still.

owns a replica of the famous cross necklace filled with cocaine that kathryn had in cruel intentions.

literally i basically just copied most of my hcs page im a clown i cant do summaries...

ok so personality wise ? shes a flirt. a whore, if u will. yes thats a personality trait now. literally if ur breathing shes flirting doesnt matter who u are doesnt matter if ur married if u have 10 kids doesnt matter like she will flirt....does not know how to open her mouth without flirting 

big on aesthetics /: believes everyone should get manicures like if ur cuticles are showing shes gonna gag . get help <3

not good at being held accountable for her actions. she’s not really the type to be malicious on purpose, but since she really does play with ppls feelings a lot it’s inevitable she’s gonna hurt someone but if u bring it up shes just gonna be like .. me ? at fault ? u must have the wrong girl i’m angel ...

likes 2 play games JSBDWBDJW clearly....matters of the heart are her fave kind but she also likes doing kinda ridiculous stuff for fun just to see how ppl are gonna react, also likes to do stuff just bc she knows she can usually get away with it 

loves skin care like she will be ur dermatologist ( self appointed ) she will gift u a moisturizer she will get everyone to do facemasks with her u cannot escape it ...

has trouble being alone but won’t admit it / doesn’t even really realize it ??? like it is... very rare u will ever find her sleeping alone or spending a whole day in just her own company 

not shy.....at all like JBSJDWBJDW she could use some shame but she has zero unfortunately 

despite being a whore....she is a HUGE romantic like whew she is obsessed with old love songs & is always playing them on her record player she loves to slow dance <3 she often gives ppl her fave poems ( usually poems abt sex ), she loves getting roses, loves kissing ppl on the cheek when she’s wearing lipstick, & she likes to leave ppl voicemails like ... shes really living like she is the main chara of a romance movie and everyone else is extra #5 most of the time... 

idk what else to say im sure shes gonna evolve once we start rping bc that always happens to me but....for now.....this is the end ! *cue feel special by twice*

[dontshootmespence]

Broken Homes Fix Broken Hearts

Chapter 13

A/N: I’m so sorry I suck at updating this, but we still have MANY chapters to go! The amazingly skilled and wonderful @veroinnumera and I are in love with the combo of Derek and Juliet. We refer to them as the OG OTP, so please let us know how you like this story. We have a STOOPID amount of collaborations we’d like to do :D

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“Butter, sugar, flour, and eggs...something’s missing” Juliet murmured aloud to herself as she took stock of the ingredients sitting on the kitchen counter. She was exhausted having been up almost all of last night redoing some inventory on the new children’s books that had come in this week. Now she was attempting to make brownies for Shaun Harris. The elementary school was having their yearly bake sale but Mrs. Harris was busy with chemotherapy and baking wasn’t exactly bedrest.

“You need chocolate. And cocoa powder.” A voice chuckled behind her, followed by a pair or strong arms twining around her waist.

“But no chocolate thunder, I don’t think any recipe but Penelope’s ever calls for that.” She chuckled, leaning back comfortably in Derek’s arms for a moment. God she could just fall asleep right here….

Glancing down, he could see she was just about to fall asleep. Her eyes were closing. This was the perfect opportunity to do something he’d always wanted to do. He reached into the bowl of flour and grabbed a handful, throwing it right into her face with a glorious sputter of dust.

Juliet immediately spun around and looked at him with a tinge of indignation. “Did...did you just throw flour at me?”

He started snorting with laughter. He never snorted.

“Derek Morgan, if you’re not careful I’m going to have to call Fran. And she is not going to be happy with you.” She grinned, a dangerous look in her eyes.

He retreated a few steps and put his hands up. “Let’s not do anything drastic here. We can talk about this.”

“We could….or I could get even!” Juliet squealed launching a handful in his general direction. Derek dodged out of the way and smiled at her smugly. It took a second before he noticed her trying not to laugh. “What is it?” He groaned.

“You’ve got a little something right...there.” Juliet trailed off, pressing a kiss to his nose.

When she pulled away, he could see the faint trace of flour on her lips. Swatting his nose, he saw the dust fly. “Okay, that was good aim,” he laughed. “But you realize you’ve just started a war right?”

Much to Juliet’s dismay, he reached into the bag of sugar and threw some at her. Not nearly as much fun as the flour, but it did the trick and got them starting their own personal food fight in the middle of the kitchen, which was only ceased when they’d exhausted all their food-throwing options. “I yield!” He laughed, pulling her back into his arms. “We’re a mess.”

“I can’t believe you threw food at me.”

Derek squeezed her tighter, kissing her temple before looking around at the mess in the kitchen and smiling to himself. “I had to wake you up somehow.”

“There were other ways and you know it. Admit it, you just wanted to have a food fight.” Juliet chuckled, nudging him with her hip. Derek said nothing but snickered. Just then the phone rang. Quickly, she crossed the kitchen and answered it.

“Hello? Oh Dr. Corcoran, hi. Yes. Yes we will see you then. Alright. Bye!” She hung up and turned back to Derek, her expression now more serious. “We need to get cleaned up. We have a session in an hour.”

                                                           ------

An hour later they were both clean and dressed in a change of clothes. The waiting room to Dr. Corcoran’s office wasn’t much to look at. Neutral tones and simple textures dominated the space, which made sense given that this was a psychiatrist’s office. Juliet was sitting back on the couch reading a magazine. Okay, not reading, just looking at the cute animals in the article she’d found. Derek was beside her, she could tell he was trying to stay calm but he was tapping his foot which meant he was nervous. Juliet opened her mouth to say something when the door swung open to reveal a petite woman with bright green eyes and curly brown hair. “Juliet, come on in. And you must be Mr. Morgan. Annabel Corcoran, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Her tone was gentle and soothing even in greeting as she extended a hand to Derek.

At first, he didn’t want to extend his hand because he was 99 percent sure it was grossly clammy, but he had to. God, he was nervous. “It’s nice to meet you too,” he said, noticing a slight shakiness in his own voice.

They took a seat on the loveseat across from Dr. Corcoran’s desk. Juliet looked comfortable, like this was all routine for her, which it obviously was. He however, was very out of his element. He’d never imagined himself in a therapist’s office; honestly, he’d vowed to stay out of them. He didn’t like people getting into his head, but his desire to be with the woman beside him overrode his need to run out of the doors and into the hills. “So, Juliet, Mr. Morgan, what do you hope to achieve by coming to me together?”

Juliet cleared her throat, casting a nervous glance at Derek before responding. “Well, I think it’s like we’ve been talking about Annabel. I obviously have some issues with being open and communicative and Derek’s been very vocal about his desire for us to be able to speak honestly. I’m just hoping you might be able to help us in that process.”

The doctor nodded, a smile on her face. “Thank you, Juliet. Mr. Morgan, does that accurately speak to your wants in this situation?”

“My what? My wants? You mean do I agree with her? Um, yeah. Yeah I do.” Derek nodded, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

“Alright then. I think first it would be helpful to look at what’s preventing this currently. Mr. Morgan what do you think is making the situation difficult?” Dr. Corcoran asked.

Taking a deep breath, he started speaking. “I think it’s a little bit of both of us.” It was not his intention to place blame solely on either of them, but it was always a little weird to be accusatory with your significant other. “I know that Juliet has intrusive thoughts and sometimes they can make her believe things that aren’t true. Instead of talking about them, she tends to push me away. While I...I guess I just have a hard time dealing with those situations. I tend to get offended easily even though I know she can’t help what she’s thinking.”

Dr. Corcoran nodded, but didn’t pass judgement on any of the statements. “And Juliet, why is it that you don’t want to communicate those thoughts?”

She shrugged and sighed. “I don’t know.” Dr. Corcoran looked at her again. Juliet bit her lip and sighed again. “Well, maybe I do. I just-I don’t want what I say to be used against me.”

“You aren’t on trial with me, ever.” Derek insisted reassuringly, placing a hand over hers.

“I know that. But when someone spent over three years telling you that every feeling and thought that he didn’t agree with made you crazy, it’s difficult to trust that. And if I don’t say anything, then I don’t have to worry about whether or not you’ll say anything about it.”

His heart sank and a mixture of anger and nausea settled in his chest. He wished he could fix this. Do something to erase that bastard but he couldn’t.

“Mr. Morgan, what do you think about that?”

The bile rose in his throat for a moment. “I understand the need to do that, but I want us to be able to be open. I...want her...for a really, really long time, but I don’t know if that can happen if we don’t work out some kinks, you know?”

Again, the doctor nodded and smiled. “Of course. And this is by no means going to happen over night. But I believe trust can be built. You both want this to work, and in my experience that’s half the battle. The other half is having patience and being proactive. Now, I have a few thoughts about strategies that might be useful to you. Some are highly orthodox and some are...less so.”

Juliet nodded. “Please, go ahead.”

“Well, there are a few simple places to start. Dependability and consistency are especially important factors. Scheduling activities and sticking to them like going out to dinner or spending the weekend away or even watching a specific show or movie at a predetermined time. In your case Juliet, it provides the proof that you’ve been looking for that Mr. Morgan can be trusted to show up for you. Something you could never rely on in your past relationship. Other possibilities include validating language, open ended questions, and shared appreciation techniques all of which I can help with.” Dr. Corcoran explained.

“And the less orthodox?” Derek asked, he was concerned he’d regret asking but the profiler in him was curious.

Dr. Corcoran cleared her throat and looked down at her notes for a moment before meeting his gaze again. “It’s not as traditional nor as clinically researched but some individuals I’ve worked with that have had similar situations have found great success with active role reversal, particularly sexually.”

Derek smirked, glancing down at Juliet who was blushing more than he’d ever really seen her blush. “As in flipping the dominant and submissive roles?” He asked. He tended to take the more dominant, but the thought of flipping that image every once in a while was intriguing. “I...I could do that.”

Juliet suddenly got a little nervous, but when she glanced up at Derek she found a bit of confidence again. “You would do that?”

“Of course,” he replied.

Dr. Corcoran looked on knowingly. “Well, I’d say that maybe you explore that avenue for a while and at the same time we’ll implement some of the more conventional methods I mentioned.”

Juliet stuttered for a moment. Her brain had been caught mid mental image and color flooded her cheeks again. “Yes-um, yes. I think that makes sense.” She finally managed, before quickly segueing into another topic. “Now about that validating language…”

@lovesscenarios @crimeshowtrash @literallyprentissstwin @jazz91121 @jennferjareau @spencer-puppies-and-stuff @fl0werb0nes18 @stunudo @spencerthepipecleaner @theofficeofsupremegenius @dontshootmespence @ultrarebelheart @lookwhatyoumademequeue @lukeassmanalvez @mentallydatingspencerreid @nobravery @criminal-anatomy @matthew-gray-reidler @the-criminal-soldier @remember-me-forever-silent-angel @original-criminal-fanfics @lovelukealvez @stories-you-wont-hear @speedreiding @marvelfanlife @butsomeofusarelookingatthestars @wonderboygenius @spxcxrrxid @imagines-for-criminal-minds @acespence @sweater-vest-reid@criminalmindskeepsmealive @spenncerreiid @sam-carter-in-training @parker-hopper @spencerwreid @ssahotchner @profiler-in-training @were-skye @trollitis @heyboywonder @ficrecswithcassie @janiedreams88 @gingeraleandcontemplation @cynbx @fortheloveofspencerreid @tippy06 @cleocc @bestillmystuckyheart @ficrecswithcassie @ssaunitchief @xxm3xxj

[mythvoiced]

💯, 👠, 🍬, 😉, 💑, 💘 (for Sköll, Flubber will be taking notes WIUEHDUH)

@theimpalpable | sex+romance headcanons!

---

💯 What is my muse’s ideal date? ANY DATE, HE’S A LOSER!!!!! I CAN’T STRESS THIS ENOUGH, HE’S A STOOPID LOSER!!!!!!!!!!! Also, not gonna lie, I think he’d like to do the classics, lunch date, cinema date, amusement park date, he’s kind of got the mentality of teen flick protagonist when it comes to dates, he just likes the classics, I wish I could do something about it, but why deny him—Although, I think, dates in which one sits down to eat are his least favourite, he still likes them, but they’re a little lower down the list because of the lack of mobility he’s granted? And the distance, more often than not, a table separates the daters, and even though it’s sweet, just holding hands across the table is not how much physical contact he usually prefers. So, walking hand in hand arms smushed together at the amusement park? Absolutely ideal. (Also, he will play footsie at EVERY restaurant, without exception). Making out like teenagers in the back rows of a cinema? Why, do sign him up.

At the end, though, if he had to pick one particular date, one and one only, he’d like a day spent just… walking and exploring. Doing a wide variety of activities, mostly on the move, maybe visiting things not visited before, then returning home and getting all cosy under the covers.

👠 What was my muse’s last serious relationship like? I do not think Sköll’s had a whole lot of serious serious relationships. He’s got commitment issues generated mostly by the fact that he can’t sit still, and most people who look for a serious relationship are looking for someone who want follow a whim and not get back to him for a week because he’s god knows where, in a hole maybe, I have no idea. He’s jittery, he needs to move on, he’s difficult to keep a hold of, most would and have described him as ‘too difficult’, a ‘handful’, if you will. It stung a few times, now it’s just irritating because it’s boring hearing the same thing over and over again.

His last serious relationship, to get back on track, was probably relatively recent, not that Sköll wouldn’t have dated even in less tolerating time periods, it’s simply easier now than it was then to engage in serious relationships because there’s half a thought that it could potentially last for a life-time. Not what Sköll is looking for (I mean, Nae-Gil aside KLFJGFGHLK!), but it makes the dating scene more likely to harbour opportunities for something that lasts with at least one party wanting it to last. This is not to say Sköll treats relationships with the idea of cutting ties at the first given opportunity, his lifestyle just doesn’t suit some poor lad just trying to settle down.

Which I think his last boyfriend to have been like, just a poor lad, another poor lad trying to hold Sköll down long enough for Sköll to figure out whether or not he’d want to return to this man on the regular. Problem is, Sköll also approaches relationships with the subconscious mentality of his status in life over a potential boyfriend’s. The immortality, even if he has the idea that it won’t last forever. His past. His knowledge of the supernatural.

Yet, oddly enough, I can’t imagine him too well dating supernatural beings, not quite sure why. So, his last serious relationship was with a mortal, most likely, and as disastrous as ever. He’s mostly broken up with, rather than him doing the breaking up, which was the case here too. And it was sad, it’s always sad, because the men Sköll dates are, more often than not, good men (because if you’re a dick while in this context, Sköll will fuck you up on behalf of the people who’s had to date you and not been equipped with the skill-set Sköll has to not consider you a threat). He hates having to make them go through it. But he’s also looking for affection and intimacy, so he can’t… stop.

🍬 Is my muse a sub, dom, or switch? Embarrassing to say, because most of my muses would argue, it depends on the partner with only a slight preference with a given direction, but Sköll is a sub, for the most part. He’s not a sub in the sense he’ll fully submit, he just likes the being held and being moved and being desired in a particular way that comes with this preference. Would he switch? Absolutely, because it’s just natural to find yourself in other scenarios as well, but sub is definitely his go-to. Also because his favourite positions go hand-in-hand with his being a sub (future Lena who will queue this keep this line in challenge-).

😉 What are my muse’s fetishes/kinks? 👀 Alex, I adore you, which is why I shan’t chicken out of a meme I reblobbed myself and signed up to meself- NOW, I don’t usually seek out the actual name of a given preference of this nature for my muses, because I don’t want to put them under a specific name and prefer just sort of? Going with the mentality, the sensations (emotional) that are being sought out, but Sköll keeps forcing me to break my patterns, so, full chest, praise kink. IT’S—Not kink kink level, the way it’s portrayed in fan fictions, but he just… he likes it. And not just sexually, he’s just wagging his tail hoping someone would go up to him, pat his head, and tell him he did well, he’s a mess, is it the unintentional parental neglect? The unwitting ‘you can’t do anything right’ taught by all those times he’s been held back? No idea, but it’s there, and… ;;

I guess he also? Likes to take his time, if this can count in this context? He’s a mess, he can easily go from gentle love making to using his teeth, no matter the direction in which he’s going on that spectrum, he likes if it lasts a moment.

💑 What are my muse’s requirements for a potential partner? Kindness, but not gentleness, and if gentleness, not softness. Sköll doesn’t know how to hold something in his hand that is pure and fragile, doesn’t know nor is he particularly attracted to kindness that is soft, to a mouth that never bites. He doesn’t have to fight him, but large-eyed stutters, he doesn’t know how to deal with them. He’s not built to treat with enough gentleness, he’d argue, someone like that would just shatter in his hands. Not to mention, he just doesn’t really know how to apply his own intense mind into a dynamic that would balance out softness.

He would never date someone below the age of 25 max and even that’s being generous, he’s just painfully aware of his advantage age-wise on most mortal men, and approaching anyone in their early twenties for romantic advances, sexual advances, feels downright criminal, he’d arrest himself, honestly (which is also something considering he looks like he’s in his early twenties, no one knows he’s over half a millennia old, so he just looks like a dilf hunter).

A bit of bite, as previously insinuated, just enough for Sköll to know that he’s not dating a pushover, he doesn’t harbour any true judgment towards yes-men, he just thinks they should date someone that isn’t… like him. He’s not one to take advantage of others, even accidentally, because he never drags people into things without asking first, sure, you’ll probs be forced to witness some things, but that’s because he forgets to give heads up on the crap he gets up to, the whims and impulsive decisions he ventures into taking are solo runs unless you vocally and directly and clearly express wanting to tag along. So, a pushover just… wouldn’t work with his personality.

Someone who knows how to breathe out every now and then, who isn’t even more tensed up than he is on most days, not because he doesn’t like the occasional workaholic (they’re loads of fun to help winding down, Sarang would agree btw-), but because if they’re both (or all) moving at 3495687690 miles per hour, they’ll crash, Sköll is very easily enabled to be even worse than he usually is, so if you’re terribly stressed as your default state of being, Sköll won’t be deterred from approaching you, it’ll just end in an explosion.

Someone who is!! FUN!!!!!!!! WHO HAS ENERGY!!! Who feels like going along with his nonsense, or start some nonsense of his own, BUT, energy with some common sense because Sköll lacks too much of it. He’s got the wits, he’s some common sense too, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that… well, tying back to the enabling thing, + and + equals +, the room is on fire.

I think all in all? Someone established in their skin who doesn’t mind occasionally doing something weird, who’s kind and potentially gentle but doesn’t break easy, Nae-Gil, it’s--- oh my god--

💘 What are the ways my muse says ‘I love you’ without actually saying it? Kithes~ Huggles~ Head on your shoulder~ Arms around arm~ Hand holding~ Subconsciously picking up habits and integrated them way too seamlessly into his own sets of habits because he just likes watching and always ends up imitating, in one way or another, Sköll seems intent on portraying his love by trying to swallow the essence of his partner into every crack of his soul.