#have some of the blandest lost time in the history of lost time

[bibliophilea]

@jackdaw-sprite

Daniel J. Fenton, 26 years old watch salesman, stood by the company water cooler, sipping his water.

Justin Time, the head of development who'd been working there since before Daniel was born, walked up to the water cooler and grabbed a cup.

"Some weather we're having," Justin said as his cup slowly filled.

Daniel took another sip. "Just in time for Halloween."

Justin smirked. "I see what you did there."

And then they parted ways, walking briskly to make up for the time lost from sitting at their desks, selling watches and clocks.

horrible news: in order for you to finish a wip, you have to work on that wip and not the 2543524 other wips you were brainrotting over instead of that one. more investigations at 7.

[swiftiebookwormlogastellus]

ATYD Characters As Stuff My Friends Have Said:

……..

Sirius: Is it Arthritis when your heart clenches?

James: I’m pretty sure that’s love

Remus: No, that’s a heart attack

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McGonagall, about the Marauders: I wanted to say no but they didn’t give me enough time

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Lily, during potions: BOILING WATER WILL NOT CATCH FIRE

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Remus, when asked about money: I have 1.90 plus a paper clip

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James: Keep my dog’s name out of your barking mouth. Woof.

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Peter: Is lactose intolerance ice cream phobic?

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Lily: Pregnancy is not a birth defect, Sirius.

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James, when asked about quidditch: Hustle. Slay. Repeat.

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Grant, concerned: Remus is like thank u, next to my next life

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Regulus: History is one big meme and we’re all fools in it

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*texting*

Regulus: Who’s drowning Debbie?

Regulus: wait

Regulus: that says downer

Regulus: nvm

Voldemort: I mean if someone’s drowning it’s gonna be you

……….

Sirius: You’re gonna be proud of me.

Regulus: Doubtful, but go on.

………

*while doing a presentation*

Remus, just before a full moon: Lily, if you see anyone talking, throw your shoe at them.

Sirius, from the back: You sound like my mom

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Sirius: *rapid French*

Peter: Si?

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Sirius: I will sue my bloodline

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Remus: I met 5 people today. I hated this experience. I’m an introvert.

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Walpurga: What are you gonna sue me with?

Sirius: ….A lawyer.

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Snape: It’s not racially motivated if you hate everyone equally

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Peter: I’m attracted to cheese

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Remus: I traded intellect for chocolate.

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Chris: 10/10. I’m recommending it to the person who recommended it to me.

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Grant, about Sirius: And that, my friends, is what we call materialistic.

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Sirius, during PoA: This is animal abuse at it’s finest! *kicks rat*

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Sirius to Professor McGonagall : Have you tried hop on?

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Remus, holding up a scrabble tile: Stop giving me D!

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About Fenrir: His favourite food is gay people.

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Sirius, when trying to become an animagus: I have a condition in my hair where my mouth won’t move.

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Lily, trying to explain muggle technology: Do you know what a gigabyte is?

James, completely lost: Gigachad?

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Mary and James about English cuisine: Isn’t it ironic how you colonized places and started wars over spices but still have the blandest food ever?

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Sirius: *kicks snow at James*

Remus, narrating: As you can see, the Cold War has begun

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Sirius, drunk: J’ai no stupid

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James: What does KFC stand for?

Sirius, to the tune of California Girls: KaliFornia Curls

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Remus: *starts beatboxing*

Peter: *starts dancing*

Sirius: *raps about peppa pig*

James: BUM BADA DA DA BADADADA DA DA

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Snape: Pigeons are fat and ugly.

Sirius: Look who’s talking

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Walpurga: You can punt kids without legal repercussions.

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Sirius: I’m gonna do what the Canadians did to the First Nations. *stabs someone with an exacto knife a wand*

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Sirius: Applying cell theory to my hair to dye it…

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Marlene, after meeting James' mom: GUYS I JUST MET A MILF

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Dorcas: Lucrative! That's a big word for...

Barty: Elmo?

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James: A PUNK ROCK DRUMMER AND HE'S SIX FOOT-

Sirius: *tackles James*

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Pandora, about Barty: Evan! Talk some sense into this British goblin!

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Sirius to Snape: I will drain your spinal fluid and shove it up your butt.

……..

[hopeymchope]

Godzilla Singular Point

I came into Singular Point with some trepidation because Godzilla’s history in anime is both very recent and extremely bad. The three anime movies released between 2017 and 2019 are easily the worst work of famed writer Gen Urobuchi and honestly contain more bullshit than I can even get into here. Those movies and this series were both Godzilla anime properties commissioned by Netflix, which didn’t get my hopes up very much. Thankfully, Singular Point is a very different beast from the anime trilogy. One could argue it’s very different from most Godzilla media, actually — at least from my perspective. And I’m still a pretty entry-level fan of Toho’s Big G, all things considered.

Let me just warn you right up front: This smartphone-based virtual assistant is basically the breakout star of the series. 

When you think “Godzilla,” you probably don’t think “incredibly dense sci-fi concepts,” but with the big G’s first-ever anime series, the writers clearly set out to change that perception. Before the first kaiju even appears, the lead characters are plucked from obscurity and dropped into a mystery that involves fourth-dimensional time travel, physical objects that look different from all sides, theoretical math concepts, self-propagating A.I., and a whole lot more. And it’s NEVER made clear how all of it connects to the rampaging kaiju! Although we spend a lot of time investigating a red dust or sand that is very obviously tied to the monsters in SOME way, no one ever makes a connection that explains the relationship. Maybe we’re supposed to wait for a later season to connect the threads... but let’s get into the idea of “another season” later.

I like to think of myself as someone who typically enjoys hard sci-fi, but even with the characters spending loads of time trying to explain the high concepts driving the story, I was never able to fully wrap my head around what was going on in the mystery at the center of GSP. I rewound and rewatched a few explanations, but I still walked away feeling lost. I eventually settled on some vague, loose understandings of most of the ideas mentioned, but those understandings were subject to being ripped apart in subsequent scenes when I was shown or told something completely at odds with what I thought I knew. I can’t say I was ever bored with the thick, dense scientific concepts on offer — trying to find purchase with these far-out ideas kept me glued to the screen — but damn, I sure wish I was able to comprehend them.

What do we want?! DENSE SCIENTIFIC DISCUSSION AND DEBATE! When do we want it?! AFTER THOROUGH RESEARCH, TESTING, AND PEER REVIEW!

Another weird thing about this show is that the lead characters remain in separate locations and on separate tracks for the entire duration. We have Yun — a mechanical engineer and programmer who has an amazing grasp on physics and human behavior. And we have Mei — a grad student who is deeply invested in theoretical science, UMAs, cryptids and other far-flung concepts. Both of them are basically geniuses in their fields, and even though they take opposing views of just how flexible reality is, their shared ability to think “outside the box” becomes the crucial component in solving the mystery at the core of the series. Because they don’t even know one another (despite being separated by like, ONE degree), they only ever interact via text messages and behind screen names, which feels pretty damn weird. At least  I immediately liked both of them, with Yun being the standout to me because of how his lowkey reactions to crazy shit generates a lot of humor.

This soundtrack cover LIES; you will never see these characters in a room together like this. 

Alas, we don’t get to know the characters a whole lot beyond what we learned of them in the first two episodes. It’s not long before they’re trapped in a series of complicated exposition dumps, endlessly attempting to explain the high concepts of the show to other characters as well as my dumb ass in the audience. The fact that I liked them in the first couple of episodes carried me through more than half of the show, but I was always hoping to see them share more of themselves or just display more emotion. Anime as a medium excels at emotional storytelling. But despite the major, world-altering events the characters are constantly warning us about, none of them seem to have many emotions about said events. 

Further complicating matters is how, when major events finally occur in this show, they are often kept off-screen. One character shockingly dies, but the portrayal of that death is so piss-poor that I didn’t even realize it’d happened until someone mentioned their death in the next episode. After that vague death, I was particularly sensitive to anything that looked like it might possibly be lethal. Yet a later event that is played up as a tragic, fatal occurrence ends up... fine, somehow? It’s not clear how the character survives, because — even after one of our heroes is left screaming their name in despair as they seemingly die — nobody ever talks about or explains how he’s just fine a couple of scenes later. And near the end of the series, there’s a major transformation that occurs for one of the characters, and we never see it happen nor do we understand HOW it happened. It’s just that suddenly, this character is extremely different due to off-screen reasons that are only vaguely verbalized.

I guess these two really bonded at some point for some reason? And what you are seeing here is literally the height of emotion shown in the entire show.

Even though the overarching story of the series so far pretty clearly wraps up in episode 13, we then get a post-credits tease for a potential second season. So the question becomes: Would I watch that?

Well... Godzilla Singular Point is a series with a lot of issues that kept me at arms’ length from it — tons of extremely confusing dialogue, highly frustrating choices in direction that lead to baffling storytelling, characters who are mostly exposition-dumping — and yet there’s still some foundational work here that I appreciated a lot. When the action occurs, it’s pretty cool/fun. And when urban destruction occurs, it can be awe-inspiring. The human characters, though little-explored, have likable and interesting foundations to them that could be expanded upon. And I didn’t even mention the soundtrack, which features a variety of musical styles combined with the classic Ifukube theme music and an OP that is an absolute banger. (I have a weakness when it comes to music; a good soundtrack can carry me through even the blandest series sometimes.) Even the core idea of centering a Godzilla series around hard science and mathematical concepts is a compelling one, I think! I just hated the execution of it; they went waaaaay too far on poorly explaining incredibly complex, mind-bending concepts for my pea brain to handle it. They spend so much time trying to explain things, yet somehow they never succeeded for me. 

Ultimately, I’d probably give the show another chance. But if I do give another season a chance, it’ll be on probation. I wouldn’t watch the entire season unless I could see within four episodes that they’d definitely improved things.

Would I recommend that anyone watch the series as it currently stands? I mean... not really? I guess if you really dig complex math, hard theoretical science, and/or Toho’s stable of monsters, then maaaaaaaaaaybe give it a shot. But otherwise? Naaaahh. It’s not good enough at anything to make it stand out from the anime crowd. I didn’t hate it like I hated the Godzilla anime films, but Singular Point is still something that both casual viewers and most fans can comfortably ignore for the time being. It’s not a complete disaster, and it’s not without its highlights... but it’s definitely disappointing in my opinion.

OKAYOKAYOKAY, so let’s talk about the kaiju for a bit! 

Below will be SPOILERS revealing all of the kaiju that appear in Godzilla Singular Point and giving my feelings on them. 

Godzilla — It’s interesting to see a version of Godzilla that borrows some ideas from Shin Godzilla. Shin G has been incredibly unique until now, but this Godzilla manages to fold some of Shin’s distinctive aspects in with the more classic/typical versions to build a fun new depiction. Be forewarned that Godzilla doesn’t show up until the series is halfway over, and he doesn’t get a ton of screen time, either. He’s used quite sparingly and kept in hazy settings, often framed from the neck-up when they show him. It’s a little frustrating that they felt the need to shroud him so much, but I respect the fact that whenever Godzilla is shown, the destruction he causes is on a scale far beyond anything that the rest of the kaiju ever do. He is pure devastation. 

Rodan — He’s easily the biological kaiju with the most screen time in Singular Point. Rodan is first introduced as one gigantic pterosaur, but if you’ve seen ANY trailers for this show then you already know that his depiction transitions into an asston of smaller pterosaurs, all of whom are also called “Rodan.” (Apparently the word Rodan is both singular and plural, like the word “buffalo.”) Although he looks kind of cool at first, pretty soon Rodan showing up isn’t special or threatening anymore. Rodan appearances go from “a big goddamn deal” to “some bland background noise” before the series is even 1/3 finished. The design might be a little too far removed from the original for my own taste, but even if I didn’t think that, I wouldn’t be able to care for this Rodan simply because he’s rendered so unimportant and unimpressive.

If you go out in the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise... 

Anguirus — Now check this guy out! Anguirus gets one of the coolest fights in the show and also demonstrates some powers that are well beyond anything we’ve seen him do before. Because he sticks to unpopulated areas, we never see him do much damage to Japan, but he is definitely holding all the attention when he’s on-screen. He’s a highlight for me — a total badass who is very unique in his abilities. And the stated origin for his name is goddamn adorable.

Manda — Yup, Manda is in this series... but I don’t have much to say for him. It seems like the creators of the anime didn’t have much to say about him either. His role amounts to little more than a repeated cameo, and in most of those cameos you only ever see his tail. When we finally see his full body, it’s done so briefly and kept at a distance, leaving me with no real impression. I had to look up his design online and... yup, that sure looks like Manda. Final score: MEEEEHH.

Kumonga — I definitely did not see this appearance coming! Kumonga is much smaller here than you may be used to, but she gets to star in the most suspenseful sequence in the series and easily earns the most exciting cliffhanger moment at the end of an episode. I was utterly glued to the show during her screen time, which comes with a lot of icky twists. Good ones! I honestly like Kumonga here more than I ever have previously.

NEW PHONE WHO DIS

Salunga — Uh, who? This is the one monster that isn’t based on a classic Toho kaiju but instead is a brand-new creation. I suppose that everybody who touches the Toho Kaiju franchise wants to make their own mark on it in some regard. But a big part of the fun of this series for me personally was the anticipation of seeing new interpretations and designs of classic Toho monsters. And so, given that he kind of resembles both Baragon and Gabara, I never stopped wishing they’d just used one of those guys as the basis and namesake. Taken on his own, however? He’s... pretty neat. Not unique or exciting, but solidly above par.  He resembles a cross between a lizard/dinosaur and an ape, plus his head has some nifty coloration. 

Our Jaguar!

Jet Jaguar — I guess Jet Jaguar isn’t exactly a kaiju in the traditional sense because he’s a Giant Robot. However, if you want to consider him one, then I wager he probably gets even more screen time than Rodan! We meet him almost immediately when the series begins. Initially an odd pilot-driven robot that was constructed at the whim of a quirky old factory-owner with too much disposable income, Jet Jaguar grows and changes over the course of the show, ultimately undergoing a transition in episode 7 that makes him pretty damn impossible to dislike. In fact, I utterly adored him by then. This is definitely the best Jet Jaguar I’ve ever seen. His design is recognizably similar to the original yet utterly distinct, too. Like many of the other kaiju here, he’s not nearly as big as he was when he was first introduced to the movies, but his size is ideal for battling the smaller-scale monsters that we spend most of the series on.

[fantasyinvader]

Kamen Rider Saber: Finale and Series Review

Okay, before I start disemboweling this series I want to give the finale two points of props.

It was nice to see the main trio fight the big bad together rather than it just being the lead Rider.

The ending really feels nostalgic for me. It's like one of those old games or anime that tried to do something like Evangelion, mostly Star Ocean 3 comes to mind.

I was going to add another point: how the ending didn't have to rely on a cosmic retcon to turn things into a happy ending like Build or Zi-o did, leaving those who died dead and having some level of maturity. I was going to give the show that point, even if it felt like it was leading into Touma essentially becoming God, but then the show did it and...I'm going to be honest here, I was saying fuck you at the screen. Multiple times, kinda like when Doctor Who's 50th anniversary where it turns out Gallifrey wasn't destroyed, the Doctor sealed it away and just couldn't remember it. Like, that is the level of bullshit I was calling out, and with Doctor Who I only said it as an “oh fuck you” rather than just “fuck you fuck you fuck you” until I noticed I was doing this and stopped myself.

Got it? Good. Now let's put Kamen Rider Saber on the examination table, rip it open, and see what went wrong with it.

Oh my god, where to begin with this series?

You ever see a show or movie that tries to do too much for it's runtime? Maybe a book that has some ultimately good ideas, but it never fleshed them out properly? That's my biggest feeling with Saber. Individual parts of the story, some arcs and characters are good on paper. Not to mention, Touma has two incredibly sexy upgrades (the Ryuki-inspired Draconic Knight and the berserker Primitive Dragon). But there is just so much in here that, given the proper focus could have carried the show if properly developed. It's a case of quantity over quality.

But the main problem comes to it's central McGufffin, the Omniscient Tome. This book is supposed to have all knowledge and later on all stories contained within it. It's what powers Wonderworld and the Wonder Ridebooks that are the main collectable trinket of the season. But when you stop and think about it, Saber is a world where there is no free will and the antagonists are all rebelling against this in their own way. Kento's dad (former Kamen Rider Calibur) went rogue in the backstory because he was given a vision of the future through his sword, and it led to the former Saber taking up the role of Calibur and going rogue in order to learn the truth. When the other riders are turned against Touma, the argument is over how he's destined to become more powerful, making Touma seem like he's seeking power and could be a future threat. When Kento returns from the dead, he's haunted by visions of the world ending in multiple variations, leading to him trying to seal the Sacred Blades in order to stop it. But then Master Logos is revealed to be buttfucking insane, wanting to rebel against his position in the world. Then it turns out the monster faction's leader, was a former poet who lost hope when he learned that all his creations were already in the Omniscient Tome, so he decided he would end the world his way rather than the predetermined ending. And even then, the world still ended the way it was always fated to end, even with Touma disappearing to nu-Wonderworld if only for a year.

The world wasn't saved, it was destroyed and then rebuilt because Mei wrote an online post that encouraged people to share their stories, which they did in oblivion even though these guys shouldn't have seen the post at all and instead just heard her voice.

Like, maybe the nu-World has free will. I'd buy that. But when applied to the 47 episodes I've spent the last year watching (alongside the Zenkaiger crossover episode), it felt pointless because it ended the way it was foretold in the Omniscient Tome. It didn't matter that Storious was defeated, fate was not averted. It's like, the complaints people have about the MCU post-Loki. It doesn't matter that Tony decided to sacrifice himself, because he didn't have free will. He was always going to sacrifice himself. Thanos was always going to snap away half the universe, and it would always be undone because choices didn't matter before Loki's ending.

And that's not even going into how they final arc reveals that Touma can somehow create stories not present in the Omniscient Tome. That he can somehow, because the personification of Wonderworld choose him as a child, that for some reason he's the only writer in history that can do this. His catchphrase is about how he'll be the one who'll decide how the story ends, but with the idea that everything was set into stone? It's laughable.

Like, my problem with Zero One's ending was the last scene. Aruto had learned a lot about the Humagears and was an advocate for them finding their own dreams as they became self-aware AI. So him trying to treat a new humagear as just an amnesiac Is  and try to help her “remember”? That felt like a betrayal of the character and what he stood for. But the post-series movie revealed that Is left a copy of herself in the Zero Two driver, and merged with the non-self aware nu-Is who the movie kept reminding us wasn't the Is we knew. Aruto even had a sobbing scene about what he was doing, lowkey acknowledging what he was doing but without overtly calling him out. It fixed Zero One for me after that last scene left me with a bad taste in my mouth that overshadowed an otherwise excellent show.

You can't fix Saber with a single movie, that's what I'm getting at here.

So, with that out of the way let's go into my thoughts on each character.

Touma: Is one of the blandest main riders in the franchise. His sense of style is probably one of the worst I've ever seen though. Like I know they like to try and give the main riders their own look rather than having them dress like normal people, like Aruto wearing a hoodie under his suit jacket alongside with his very bright shoes, but this wasn't a W or even something like Ghost (where honestly I really liked Takeru's robe-like shirts). What they eventually settled on with Touma was a stupid hat, really baggy pants, and shirts that look like they came out of a stern librarian's closest. You know, the type with her hair in a bun and their horned-framed glasses on a chain.

Rintaro:Is one of those cases where he's meant to be the secondary Rider of the series, but is overshadowed because the writer likes to use someone else more. The idea of him having to turn against the organization that raised him (like a child soldier) could have worked really well if the series had a more free will-direction. But alas.

Kento: Kento's the one character I found I could really like. His arc was more interesting during the first quarter, his return as Calibur, but then he returned to being Espada and, as much as I love that suit, he just became Touma's main cheerleader. Really, I felt like towards the end it was a waste of him, especially since he doesn't get any power ups like Rintaro did to solidify him as one of the main three. He definitely feels like a victim of rewrites or just the writer not knowing what he was doing.

Mei: The female lead. Honestly, I just found her annoying most of the time. A womanchild to match Touma's more manchild moments, with a potential romance with Rintaro thrown in to only be confirmed in a future movie. Really, she should have taken over as Espada after Kento disappeared early on (especially since she's one of the three in the Ending dance while Kento isn't).

Daishinji: I'd say best boy, but he became a background character pretty quick.

Ogami: An older Kamen Rider who is also a father to a young child? Cool, and could even have worked in contrast to Rintaro's raising as essentially a child soldier. But alas, it was not to be.

Ren: OMG. A somewhat psycho younger Rider, idolizing Kento, and his social Darwinist beliefs on strength leading to conflict as Touma gets more powerful, leading to him abandoning the team to train with an enemy monster? HOW DO YOU MAKE THAT NOT WORK! I swear, Ren should have been the secondary Rider of the series, with his changes in beliefs being used more effectively.

Yuri: One of the most competantly written characters in the entire show. One of the original swordsman who became his sword, returning after 2000 years and not only feeling the culture clash of then and now but even how the idea of what makes a hero has changed? Good boy. Also loved him using a shadow body early on during fights.

Sophia: Why are you even here?

Reika: Oh boy, the swordswoman who leads the rest to distrust Touma under the orders of Master Logos, and doesn't sway from this until he's proven to be batshit insane? And even then, reluctant to join the others? Could have been better, especially if her relationship with her brother didn't come across as incesty. Though, could we please return her to Magine in Zenkaiger? Reika hugging her was really cute, in a socially awkward type of way.

Ryoga: Reika's brother. With his powers being something out of Jojo, time manipulation powers which are a bit hard to explain. He starts them and to his opponents things seem like the fight is continuing as normal, but he really exists outside of that and then can attack from a blindspot? Could have been really good with if the series had gone Team Free Will is all I'm saying.

Master Logos: What I mentioned above, but his Rider suit is one I'm in lust with. Just laughs like a madman and you're wondering why Reika and Ryoga don't rebel against him earlier.

The Megid: Two are a waste who I never bothered to learn their names. Fall out of focus for a bit and only return to be beaten, with the sad fact that they were once human. Storious is the exception, but even then I felt he was a little too late to save the series.

Tassel: Bon Lecture! I still hate you you weirdo, even if your death scene made me feel a little sad. The fact that you treated the early parts of the show as a story you were reading? Have you seen my other complaints?

As for the message of what the show tried to say? I don't really mind it. It's encouraging people to love stories, even if they are copies (considering the controversy of Time Paradox Ghostwriter and Cheat Slayer within recent memory, I'm trying not to make jokes about Saber encouraging plagiarism). And I don't think that's a bad thing in itself. Hell, how many stories take stuff from older stories and just tweak elements to make them their own? I love the Elric saga, but that was based on old legends and meant to subvert the likes of Conan the Barbarian, and some other stories I've liked have borrowed elements from it as well. The idea that stories can be used to pass on our hopes, thoughts and dreams to others is pretty nice as well, rather than writing being a form of masturbation on the author's part.

But in the shadow of the Omniscient Tome and it's implications, I really feel the story should have taken another route.

A lot of Riders start of weak, having to introduce the plot as well as the main release of whatever trinket they want kids to gorge themselves on this year. But they usually start getting better towards the end of the first quarter, while maybe stalling a bit towards the end of the second/third. Saber was a series that I felt never really found it's legs. Too many bareboned plot threads on the go, dropping some for a while only to pick them up again after they've been forgotten about. This is not a good series, to be honest I think Zi-O and even Ghost were better, and really feel it would have been better handled in the hands of someone who could actually write. 

Not to mention, this gave me flashbacks of Power Rangers Megaforce over how much this series relied on fight scenes. Throw in greenscreen everywhere, lack of civilians...oh god, it is Kamen Rider Megaforce. And it felt like Saber was trying to have a story, unlike Megaforce, but it has the same “it’s a kid’s show, we don’t have to try that hard” energy.

[lunafaeris-archive]

[ pink ] [ indigo ] [ ivory ] for Luna and [ yellow ] [ orange ] for Anton!

memory prompts | accepting.

Send [ pink ] for a sweet memory.

          “ I remember the day that I first got Archimedes. It was well over a century ago and he was only just a pup, but Rolan insisted on showing him off. Saying things like, ‘look at size of paws, he vill grow to be bigger zan goddamn bear’. Now that I think about it, Rolan was probably more excited than I was. But I have to admit, I was smitten with him at first sight, too; Rolan certainly has a way of knowing what his customers want in a hell hound. We made an everlasting bond as master and familiar and, well... the rest is history. ”

Send [ indigo ] for a bittersweet memory.

          “ There were plenty of times I had to patch my brother up after he got into a fight when we were children. Granted, we were still obstinate towards one another; even when we were young, our personalities were wildly different. Near polar opposites. But even then, I took it upon myself to look after him for as difficult as he was. He was always too afraid to go to our grandmother... that’s when I learned how to do some minor sewing from the maid servants to stitch up his clothes. It was about the only traditionally ladylike thing I prescribed myself to learn, but not out of idleness or boredom. Out of necessity. ”

Send [ ivory ] for a memory from a dream.

          “ I know it’s not a dream but... I only seem to remember it in bits and pieces. Some flashes before my very eyes are as vivid as a photograph, others are a complete blur where I lose parts of the picture, its vast scope... but I can’t seem to shake the fact that I was attacked in the midst of it all. It must have been after Lucca lost his master and his horn, when even I couldn’t talk any sort of sense into him.

          I remember the rabid and crazed look in his eyes. I remember a giant rock slide, the awful pain of being skewered through the chest like an animal before I had the chance to react, before I could even blink-- he must have created that rock slide as a diversion, to cover his tracks the moment he set his sights on attacking me and leaving me to die. It all happened so fast... I was buried underneath the rubble. And I wasn’t healing. The wound continued to fester and spread, sapping all of my strength and having me bleed out on the rocks...

          I don’t know how much time passed until Grear of all people managed to find me. My connection to my hounds had been temporarily severed after I fell - now I realize from the effects his newly acquired god spear, no doubt - that if it hadn’t been for Grear’s incredible perseverance and finding me when she did, I most certainly would have died. She may be small and oftentimes a coward, but she more than proved herself and her loyalty that day. She led the pack to where I was and helped dig me out, carrying me to safety... I can’t recall all of the details, but I’m fairly sure she was cursing up a storm and bawling her eyes out at the same time. That’s what made me consider her as one of my only true friends. ”

Send [ yellow ] for a happy memory.

          “ It’s hard to pick just one, but if I had to I’d say it’s when I was chosen as one of the six finalists in the Chopin Competition. For some suuuuper quick background, it’s an international piano competition that has some the best young pianists from all over the world go to Warsaw, Poland and perform for the chance to go live on tour. And for the prestige and notoriety, sure whatever. I was never in it for that. Hell, I didn’t even get in the top three! I finished in fifth place, but I was happy to have made it as far I did! Not many people even get the chance to make it that far, so it was a real privilege and an honor to be recognized by the judges. Even if they were some of the blandest, no nonsense stuffed shirts I’d ever met in my life. I did kind of ham it up on stage just to piss them off and show them what I can really do outside of their strict parameters, so that might have been why I only got fifth place, hehe... ”

Send [ orange ] for a funny or silly memory.

          “ Mmmm... well it wasn’t really my fault but, there was that one time some woman in the park tried giving me grief over how I was walking my dog. My dog being Magda, even though she’s not technically mine; that’s besides the point. Anyways, she was wagging her finger and practically screeching at me to the point where it felt like my ears were ringing and about ready to fall off. All this while was she carrying her own pocket poodle under her arm and, I kid you not, she was nearly squeezing the life out of it she was so upset. I don’t even know why she was angry honestly, I mostly just tuned it out.

          After Madga and I got home, I told Luna this crazy story and, well... she exacted her own personal brand of revenge on the Karen of the week. Guess it wasn’t too hard for her hounds to pick up her scent and find out where she lived. In her defense, she didn’t kill her at least not directly; but she did have her hounds set fire to her house and garden. It was all over the news the next morning and I’m pretty sure that woman went to a psyche ward afterwards. So yeah, we got even with her. ”

@soulcrux

[dustylovelyrun]

I must know about Vampiro what the fucko XD

Hey, human! Thank you for the interest! I’ve no idea how coherent this scene is, and am feeding it to you only because it looks like it might be the most coherent of the three scenes that’ve actually been written for this. The rest is merely just loose outlines, or piece together information about the characters. However, this is also a scene that was written in red text, the rage color, which indicates that it might not have been going so well. But, yeah. This is the Most Worthy snippet for the rules, this time.

Or maybe, just maybe, she’d find something that was actually useful pressed in between the pages of old fictional stories, or in the incoherent delusions of someone’s journal. It could also be found in the art, she knew, if anyone had fixated and focused on the source of all of this, but might be indistinguishable to her, as someone that’d grown up on the stories, and not the events that’d happened to inspire them. Some of it might even be woven into the minute, and beautiful, details of the tapestries in the town hall. 

Something had to point it out, something had to indicate that there was even one thing that was different about it. And anything was better than the word of mouth inside of their town, the stories that had taken ahold, and been artfully twisted, and embellished over the years, while the original became lost to the passage of time. It always happened, here. Nothing was consistent, and just about everything seemed to change.

But every town still had it’s history. It could be a stupid history, she knew. And it could also be one full of pain, and struggles, and strife. Sometimes it was a history that could lead for the world’s blandest one. But in the face of all that’d happened, in all that was, Lydia also knew that there was always truth hidden inside of there, too. Buried into the rumors of eyes that were concealed in the mist, or unknown creatures that skittered in the outskirts of their town, inside the forests that extended beyond it, or hidden in the derelict buildings sitting just beyond the town’s edge. In the shadows that didn’t always sit right, and the long since ingrained fear of popular spaces that’d never felt right during certain parts of the day.

That somewhere in there, there was the information that’d started all of this, in the moments before it had all begun to spiral wildly out of control.

Lydia would find that information in time, that thing that’d essentially doomed them all to look the other way when something strange happened, to cower in fear whenever someone disappeared instead of looking for them. It would be difficult, but it would be worth it, because it also wouldn’t be something as stupid as ghosts. The faint and shadowed faces of people long dead that just about everyone else wanted to focus on, believe in, because it was easier than looking for valid information that might be lingering just outside of their focus.

Sorry for the late reply, human! I meant to answer this later on that night, since there was an invasion of humans inside my house, and that’s not good for just. Focusing on words generally. But then I decided to sleep. And I did! For most the time that’s passed so far! Because sometimes you’ve just got to do a failed aestivation attempt, you know?

I’m also going to throw out the fact that while Lydia’s town might be on the wrong track, it’s close enough that she’s going to feel an immeasurable amount of rage, and end up eating her own words, too. Hence the vampiro part of vampiro what the fucko. And I’m going to be delighted when that moment comes.

[thenerdparty]

Spider-Man: Far From Home - Film Review

Written by Shawn Eastridge

I never thought I’d ever say this, but I’m starting to think Spider-Man might be too good for Marvel’s Cinematic Universe. No. Scratch that. I know he is. And Far From Home, the latest entry in this franchise, proves it once and for all.

I was willing to give Spider-Man: Homecoming a pass. Despite being relatively shallow, it’s light on its feet, has a great villain in Michael Keaton’s Vulture and contains a strong emotional beat for Spidey near the film’s climax. Far From Home has none of this. In fact, Far From Home is one of the blandest entries Marvel Studios has yet released. Instead of seeking out opportunities to deepen Peter Parker’s character, Marvel Studios has relegated him to cleaning up the mess Avengers: Endgame left behind.  When a Spider-Man film makes you long for the emotional depth of Spider-Man 3, you know there’s a problem.

Following the shenanigans of Infinity War and Endgame, Peter is understandably ready for a vacation. His upcoming summer class trip is the perfect opportunity to do so. Not only will he and his best bud Ned get to take in a number of scenic European views, but Peter will get a chance to spend quality time with his crush MJ. And maybe, just maybe, he’ll finally get the chance to tell her how he feels. Peter even goes so far as to leave his Spider suit behind, determined to enjoy this time off to the fullest. 

Naturally, things don’t work out that way. Before long, Nick Fury arrives to pull Peter off of the sidelines and back into the superhero-ing world. Quentin Beck, a superhero claiming to be from another dimension, has arrived in the midst of a number of Elemental monster attacks. These Elementals, comprising of - you guessed it - water, fire and earth, destroyed Beck’s Earth. Beck is now determined to protect Peter’s Earth at all costs, but he and Fury will need Peter’s help to do so. That is, if Peter is up for the task.

Right from the get-go, Far From Home casually dismisses Endgame’s dramatic heft in favor of a quick laugh. While I understand the need to establish a different tone from Endgame, the offhand way Far From Home makes light of Endgame’s superb conclusion further emphasizes how little director Jon Watts and this creative team cares about making anything that happens here feel significant in any way. At every turn, Far From Home attempts to distract the audience from its glaring insignificance by going the route of comedy. Every action sequence is punctuated by some half-assed punchline or an overriding sense of artificiality - Flash Thompson live-blogging on his phone; the teachers making some kooky comments about how they’re all going to die. There’s no sense of danger. No suspense. No stakes. None of it feels remotely believable. 

To be fair, the emphasis on humor is a common complaint lobbied at the MCU. Here’s the thing, though: while humor plays a large role in these films, the humor enriches the already present emotional stakes and characters. For the most part, we’re laughing with our heroes, not at them. (Thor: Ragnarok is the argument to the contrary, but the big difference between that film and this one is that Thor: Ragnarok is actually funny.) Far From Home can’t seem to differentiate between those two things. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if the jokes didn’t feel so forced and awkward.

And, hey, speaking of forced and awkward, how ‘bout those action sequences? With the exception of one genuinely impressive Mysterio-inspired acid trip, every action scene feels lackluster and uninspired. It’s like the studio handed director Jon Watts a shot list and storyboards without taking any input from him. “All you need to do is show up on set and say, ‘Action!’ Whatever unique sensibilities or voice Watts brought to the table with Homecoming have all but vanished in Far From Home. 

Actually, you know what it reminds me of? Marc Webb’s short-lived Amazing Spider-Man series. No, hear me out real quick. Neither of those movies are particularly good, but which one feels more like the product of the 500 Days of Summer director? The first one, right? And which one feels more like a studio-mandated, computer-generated crapshoot? (There’s only one guess left here, people. You can’t go wrong) 

Far From Home is the MCU’s equivalent of The Amazing Spider-Man 2. It’s louder, more colorful and ultimately emptier than its immediate predecessor. I guess it’s fitting that Mysterio would be Far From Home’s main villain. A character that specializes in crafting intricate illusions to hide how insignificant everything is? Sounds about right, doesn’t it? Jake Gyllenaal takes on the role with manic enthusiasm, but the character’s motivations are flimsy and dull. Once again, we have a villain hellbent on getting revenge on Tony Stark, and once again, we have Spider-Man cleaning up a mess Tony Stark left behind. 

Great.

Things don’t fare much better with Peter’s personal relationships either, in particular, the romance between Peter and MJ. The two of them are all awkward pauses and nervous tics. It’s adorable, make no mistake, but like most of Far From Home, it feels artificial. We never get the sense that there’s a real connection between these two because Watts and screenwriters Chris McKenna and Erik Sommers (the same writing pair behind the dull beyond all reason Ant-Man and the Wasp) never take a break from telling jokes to offer up a single moment of sincerity. Tom Holland and Zendaya have great chemistry, but there’s no substance to their interactions. The rest of the supporting cast are simplistic types, barely memorable. Even Ned, one of Homecoming’s highlights, is left on the sidelines with little to do.

What’s really disappointing is that Far From Home contains the set up for what could have been really great Spider-Man story. I love the idea that Peter just wants a break from all the crazy superhero duties. He just wants a vacation with his friends; he wants to spend time with the girl he’s crushing on. Doesn’t he deserve a break? It’s in the execution that this film fails.

Many of Spidey’s best tales deal with Peter’s struggle to balance his personal life - money woes, girl troubles, job issues, etc. - with the responsibility of being a superhero. It’s what makes this character so special. He carries a significant weight and the responsibility of being Spider-Man puts a damper on everything in his life. Sam Raimi’s trilogy understood this perfectly. It’s why those films still hold up so well. Even Spider-Man 3, as stupid as it is, had its heart in the right place.

The problem with the MCU’s version of Spider-Man is that it seems to ignore the emotional depth of the character in favor of a quick laugh and light-hearted adventures. Peter’s struggles never evolve beyond the surface level. There’s no sense of responsibility or obligation, nothing personal that seems to motivate Peter’s decision to be a hero. Marvel Studios is so concerned with making Spider-Man light and fun, they’ve forgotten to provide any meaningful emotional stakes or the slightest bit of complexity to the character. Other than a brief conversation in ‘Captain America: Civil War’ (which, by the way, remains the MCU’s best interpretation of this character to date and ISN’T EVEN A SPIDER-MAN MOVIE), we don’t have a strong sense of who Peter is or why he does what he does. As far as I can tell, Peter wants to be Spider-Man because he wants to live up to Tony Stark’s legacy. His entire motivation is reliant on another character. This robs Peter of a personal motivation and, as a direct result, reduces the character to a pale imitation of his true potential. 

And, look, I get it. The Uncle Ben stuff is well-tread territory. I’m not saying I need the same angsty overtones provided by the Raimi/Maguire trilogy, but the way these films bend over backwards to not mention Uncle Ben is borderline parodic. Here’s the thing: you don’t have to show Uncle Ben’s death or have it take precedent over the story to show its impact in Peter and Aunt May’s life. 

Instead of taking advantage of the chance to deepen the relationship between these two, to show how they’ve tried to move on in the wake of Ben’s passing, life seems pretty peachy-keen for the Parkers. They don’t seem to struggle with any money woes, illnesses or anything else that could potentially offer these films an ounce of significance. Uncle Ben provides the core motivation for why Spider-Man does what he does. When you take that out of the picture, what else is left? I mean, they don’t even acknowledge the fact that Peter has had two, count ‘em, TWO, father figures taken from him in the span of, like, a year. Come on, people!

And at the center of all of this, fighting to overcome the film’s lack of identity and overarching blandness, is Tom Holland. Holland is a remarkable, gifted young actor. He’s nailed this character and has proven time and time again he has the chops to pull off a far more meaningful interpretation. I wish the studio was willing to meet him halfway. To watch him give his all in a film that doesn’t remotely deserve his talents is a depressing experience. 

That’s really the best way to describe this film. ‘Depressing.’ Far From Home reduces Spidey to a C-list member of the MCU’s expansive ensemble. His entries in this franchise feel more like financial obligations than attempts to tell meaningful stories. I wouldn’t care as much if it was another character getting lost in the corporate chaos, but this is SPIDER-MAN we’re talking about. He’s one of the most complex and beloved characters in the history of storytelling. The source material is overflowing with great stories that have meaningful emotions and stakes and this is the best Marvel Studios can come up with? As portrayed here, Spider-Man is no longer a character that can stand on his own. He’s just a fly trapped in someone else’s web. 

FINAL RATING: 2 out of 5

[aftgficlibrary]

Coffee Shop&Cafe

The smell of coffee and respecting boundaries. Love it.

Only Fools by KazBrekker_morelike_KazWrecker (E | 19,833 | 20/20)

A flower shop/coffee shop AU that no one asked for but appeared in my brain and had to get out. Neil never played Exy and never met the Foxes at PSU, but his story with his father remains the same. Neil doesn't like people much but neither does Andrew and everyone knows coffee brings people together

I'm Young and In Love by elenawrites (T | 1,942 | 1/1)

Allison's pining over the cute girl at the coffee shop. Dan finds it hilarious. Renee notices everything. For reneewalkerx for the tfcfemslashnet exchange, title from Lana Del Rey's 'Love'.

The Smell Of Honey by lilaliacs (T | 11, 601 | 4/4)

Martha's was a cozy little coffee shop that always smelled of honey, lilacs and something that couldn't be described as anything less than home. And that's what it was to Jeremy, who had spent his childhood sat on a stool at the tiny bar, coloring in the patterns of the menus, or watching his mother creating the most beautiful cakes and pastries that he had ever seen.

The place was filled with good memories and everyone who came in could sense the atmosphere of peace that seemed to fill the soft light falling in through lacy curtains at any time of day. In fact, multiple patrons had stated that they came in for exactly this, for a break from their everyday stress, to just grab a coffee and absorb whatever magic the smell of Martha's cakes emitted and it was something Jeremy's mother was very proud of. It was also something Jeremy was very proud of, and the reason for him to put his all in making the customers' time there worthwhile. He never thought that one day, doing that would be a challenge. (AU in which everything is the same only that Jeremy isnt captain of the trojans but works in his mom's coffeeshop instead)

I Want You To by minyrrds (T | 21,385 | 8/8)

The Foxhole was a hole in the wall, quite literally. It was painted a muted orange with a series of white paw marks trailing across the wall that glowed under the pale yellow lighting of the café, with a small curled up fox painted right up against the counter. The sign said open, and the lights were on (well some of them were), but there was not a soul else in the café. The chairs were still stacked on the tables, and the register appeared to be turned off. Neil checked his watch, it read 5:26, and he figured he would have to get moving soon to keep to his schedule (even though there was nothing that required him to keep that schedule), coffee cart coffee wasn’t terrible (only it was), and maybe Renee had messed up and meant to tell him a later time (even though he had gotten his hopes up for halfway decent coffee entering his life).

(A fake dating coffee shop au blend!)

Stayin' Up Til We See The Sun by minyrrds (T | 5,184 | 5/5)

It's hard, figuring out a relationship when neither Neil nor Andrew wants to deal with their own problems, but here they are, trying to figure things out anyway.

(a coffee shop, no-longer-fake-dating au!)

you are what you love, not who loves you by gaypeach (G | Incomplete | 1/?)

andrew doesn't even drink coffee. yet he finds himself at a coffee shop with the tackiest orange and white paint in the history of paint.

the neon signs read "the foxes' den" with a trail of pawprints flashing in a pattern that made it seem like they were walking away from whoever was reading the sign.

andrew debates between entering or ending his life right then and there.

(he opens the door anyways)

/Graphic Depictions Of Violence

to know a man by moonix (M | 47,928 | 8/8)

In which the Foxes all work at a coffee shop run by Wymack, Neil is their newest recruit with a dark past, Andrew is obvious, Neil is oblivious, and everyone ships it apart from Aaron, who just wants to study in peace. With guest appearance by a stuffed jellyfish called Josephine.

The Girl with the Dyed Tips by reecesronan (Not Rated | 2,821 | 1/1)

Allison works at a small coffee shop downtown and she has a crush on one of their regulars - the girl with the dyed tips.

Tastes Like Damnation by deathanddestruction (Not Rated | Incomplete | 8/?)

Kevin Day didn’t like his job at the local coffee shop. He didn’t particularly hate it either, but he could count the number of reasons why on one hand and still have extra fingers. One - the hours left him plenty of time for exy. Two - the discounts. Three - a certain customer named Andrew Minyard.

weight of it all by azneara (G | 2,534 | 1/1)

the first time Andrew meets Neil he is not Neil. he has black hair and his eyes are green and his name is lost to the rumble of chatter in the coffee shop.

the boy with the ever changing face and the boy with the face that never changes have nothing in common. except they do.

ink over flowers by stardusting (Not Rated | Incomplete | 1/?)

there's a flower shop opening up across the street and that shouldn't change anything. it really shouldn't, but maybe it does.

sky blue sky by jaylocked (T | 3,709 | 1/1)

Neil collects the cup a moment later, almost absently, as he thinks back to the nightmare that had started his day. He takes a sip, planning to turn away, and is almost assaulted by the sheer quantity of sugar in his drink. Who knew coffee could taste that sweet? It’s disgusting.

Neil looks back to Andrew, who is once more leveling a blank gaze at him, hazel eyes deeply unimpressed. Neil quirks an eyebrow, confused. It’s definitely not worth it to say anything. After all, it’s been engrained in him not to draw attention to himself, to order whatever is blandest and least interesting, to get in and out best he can.

He can feel the weight of Andrew’s gaze on his back as he leaves the cafe, but he tries to ignore it.

start a war by jaylocked (T | 3,213 | 1/1)

Andrew pretends that it’s out of spite that he pours a ridiculous amount of sugar into the drink. He pretends that he’s not disappointed at the lack of reaction when the boy merely raises an eyebrow at Andrew before leaving the shop. He pretends that he doesn’t think about the mystery boy later, trying to decode his careful movements and haunted eyes.

(He’s never been good at pretending, no matter how unreadable the rest of the world finds him.)

i would rather look at you (than all the portraits in the world) by BurningFairytales   (G | 1,814 | 1/1)

Jeremy smiles as he slides the cup closer to him and hands him the receipt. That smile, Jean notes distractedly, makes his eyes appear brighter.

(On the backside of that receipt, written in neat handwriting, is the word ‘Cariño.' )

Give It a Try or Give It Up by Anathennadevice  (G | 534 | 1/1)

Anonymous said: Neil and Allison being great friends?

Neil has so many BFFs, but Lord knows he needs them.

[racingtoaredlight]

A Seattle Sounders Fan and A Toronto FC Fan Email Each Brought To You By Moonshot Brewery

Hey Hoser,

You sober enough to do this email exchange or are you going to fold like Jozy Altidore in a big game?

Jozy scored the game winner last week, is not his fault nor Bradley's that the US Soccer team is comprised exclusively of reject Ivy lacrosse players. Goddamn America, even youth sports are rent seeking to the point of being anti-meritocratic.

What else happened this year in the US? Oh no, oh no. Are you okay? Do you need a place to crash?

Stephen Frei swats away your petty insults like a Jozy header.  Glad to see you guys finally got legal weed.  Only a couple years behind us.  Usually you're like 50 years behind as a culture.  Your Prime Minister was supposed to bring down our KGB plant by sleeping with the daughter he actually liked and he couldn't even pull that off. Are there any actual Canadians playing for TFC?

We had Stephen Frei on our team and we told the children of Toronto we were dropping him off at a farm in the countryside. How he wandered down and west to America's blandest city is beyond me.

50 years behind you as a culture? We elected Rob Ford first.

I am no fan of Trudeau but I understand not banging Ivanka, who the hell wants Donald Trump's sloppy seconds?

Does Giovinco count as a Canadian because I am pretty sure we gave him refugee status? Giovinco must have slept with an Italian Politician mobster / mobster polician's wife and had to flee Shitty Food Slathered In Shitty Ketchup Presents Date Rapist The Peninsula. Seabass II has no business being in this league, like watching Cam Newton deciding he'd rather continue to play JUCO football his entire life.  

I feel the same way about Lodeiro. Why is a starting player for the Uruguayan national team playing in the fastest growing, most dynamic US city?  Oh that's right.  Money.  

We added 4 new starters (3 of which are clear upgrades) and got a healthy Demsey back to a team that was so good it beat you last year without having to put a shot on goal.  Other then Vazquez, have you guys improved at all?

Coffee shops, rain and tech douchbags are not dynamic. Yeah a swarm of locust are fast growing but it ends in famine. Enjoy living in the shadow of the kingdom of Amazon you peasant.

As you mentioned Victor Vazquez is the big addition to midfield, he was named to MLS's best starting XI after scoring 8 goals and creating 16 further with assists.  Toronto broke the record for points in an season, there are widely regarded as one of the best MLS teams ever. Jumped from winning 14 games to 20 this year. TFC Scored 23 more goals this year while letting in two fewer.

The Plague Kingdom of Amazon won exactly the same amount of games in 2016 as it did in 2017. I haven't seen such impressive additions to a city since Seatlle's Alaskan Way Viaduct replacement tunnel.

70 breweries inside the Seattle city limits and about 400 in the state with more coming soon (like moonshotbrewing.com)  Not to mention second in the country in wine production and some great distilleries an cider makers. If you ever move below the border this is your type of state.

Injuries and I international callous killed the Sounders schedule this year. They've yet to lose when Marshall and Torres both start at CB. Morris and Alonso have missed substantial time and Brad Evans played in a whopping 11 games. Seattle has been the best second half team, both in game and during the season as a whole, since Schmetzer took over last year. Of course he gets passed over for Coach of the Year for your guy who had the most expensive roster in MLS history to work with.

I believe Altidore and Bradley played internationally? Thankfully for Toronto that won't be an issue moving forwards.

The distance from North Korea to Seattle is about 8,100 kilometres. Kilometres are a logical unit measurement as sensible as foreign policy that doesn't really on a senile, illiterate lunatic so you are probably unfamiliar.  Smoking Crater is a hellavu name for a distillery.

We had 9 players called up at one point. And Smoking Crater would fit in great in my neck of the woods. Atomic Ale, Bombing Range Brewery and Rad Cab all exist. Hell, the high school mascot is the Bombers and has mushroom cloud as it's logo. STOP LEAKING RADIATION HANFORD! Good thing Rick Perry is on the case.

Which reminds me, you watching at the pub and drinking beer made with hops grown in Washington State?  

Good for you dullards mentally preparing yourself for the North Korean nuclear winter instead of collectively voting for peace. Rugged Individualism will serve you all well in the cancerous hells-cape of Washingston's radioactive future.  

The stadium's right on the lake and my shoes are made of newspapers so I will be at a pub. It starts at 4pm so I'll already be aboard the rum train.

You have a pub in mind? Last year I was at Opera Bob's, it is lovely but I am not going back there. Got enough of my money last year in a never ending game.

And ending thankfully I don't really remember.

Sigh. Unfortunately I LOATHE the bar that has become the semi home of the Tri-Cities Dry Siders. They don't respect beer and soccer games always get pushed to the side. That's why the second sentence of Moonshot's Mission Statement is to provide a place for the soccer community to feel at home.

Thankfully I have a kegerator with three 8%+ beers in it right now. I should be plenty drunk by the time we bring the cup back to the U.S.

I had the same problem here with goddamn hockey and baseball but the city itself loves TFC.

Even if the Sounders bring home the cup it will just be dismantled into shards to stab working people whose blood will be collected and given to "job creating" rich.

You've already lost.

We should make a bet though, the winning city gets Moonshot's Brewery.

With your real estate market? You trying to put us out of business already?

Don't worry about it, I'll probably quit a

I kind of feel like this should end with this half finished sentence, just like Toronto's season will end half finished on Saturday.

And I feel like I fucked your mom so hard she got CTE while your father just sat there and cried.

Well since my dad is dead I'm going to assume you got me confused with the other German-Italian American home chef who comments on this blog.

All American moms looks the same.

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