#have some empathy and courage and stand on the right side
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
riverofempathy · 9 months ago
Text
Holy shit.
President Snow did this in The Mockingjay.
He attacked a hospital. To make sure that an oppressed people couldn’t survive, couldn’t rebel, couldn’t free themselves from their control.
Fucking Israel and the US are President Snow in our world.
To all those people who say they don’t want to pick a side because they’re both guilty of harming the other, IT FUCKING MATTERS TO KNOW WHICH SIDE STARTED IT.
every single time israel fires on people picking up food or humanitarian aid it truly cuts me to the core. obviously it's equally horrible to fire on civilians escaping the invasion or to bomb hospitals or refugee camps or people just living in their own homes. but there's something so brutal about hitting people right when they have gathered for life-saving aid. by firing on them there the IOF have set up an impossible dilemma where starving people have to choose between death by bullet or death by hunger. they have left no room for palestinians to choose life. i do not know how my government or any other government can just sit by and watch while innocent people continue to be gunned down for the crime of existing in israel's eyeline.
24K notes · View notes
nickeverdeen · 9 months ago
Text
The ATLA gaang reacting to reader having a nightmare
Tumblr media
Request: “Hello!
I was wondering if you could do an imagine (kidna like the bug one) on how the Gaang would react to gn reader having nightmares. Have a lovely evening,
- V”
Requested by: @verybadatwriting
(The person meant preferences so you wouldn’t get confused)
Aang
Tumblr media
Aang sits quietly beside you, offering silent support during your nightmares
Aang wraps you in a gentle embrace, providing a sense of security and comfort
He listens attentively as you share your nightmares, offering empathy and understanding
Whispers words of reassurance, reminding you that you are safe and loved
Guides you through calming breaths to help ease your racing heart
Aang strokes your hair or rubs your back, offering physical comfort
Suggests simple activities like stargazing or cloud-watching to shift your focus away from your nightmares
He establishes comforting bedtime routines, like reading a favorite book or sharing a cup of tea
Praises your courage and resilience, highlighting your inner strength
Aang expresses his love for you, promising unwavering support through your struggles
He ensures the bedroom is a peaceful sanctuary, free from distractions or triggers
Aang gently suggests seeking professional help or trying relaxation techniques to manage nightmares
(The professional help would be Katara, though)
Shows patience and understanding, earning your trust over time
Reminds you that you are not alone, standing by your side through the darkest nights
“I’m here for you. You’re safe with me. You’re not alone in this. I’m right here beside you, Y/N”
Zuko
Tumblr media
Zuko wakes up immediately upon sensing your distress, his instincts kicking in to soothe you
He pulls you close, wrapping his arms protectively around you and whispering reassurances
Zuko gently strokes your hair or back, offering comfort through his touch
Listens attentively if you want to talk about your nightmare, offering understanding and empathy
Just like Aang Zuko suggests techniques like deep breathing or visualization to help calm your racing thoughts
He stays awake for a while after the nightmare, keeping a watchful eye on you to ensure you feel safe
He shares stories from his own past struggles and how he overcame them, offering hope and encouragement
He offers to stay up with you until you’ll fall back asleep, providing a sense of security
Zuko surprises you with your favorite comforting food or drink to help them relax
He makes a mental note to be extra attentive to your emotional well-being in the days following the nightmare, showing them extra affection and support
Zuko softly sings or hums a calming tune to help lull you back to sleep
“Hey, it’s okay. You’re safe now, I’m right here. I’m here to protect you, always. You don’t have to face this alone.”
Sokka
Tumblr media
Sokka suggests having a late-night snack together, whipping up some of his favorite comfort foods like savory meat pies or sweet fruit tarts to help lift your spirits
He offers to tell you a humorous story or joke to help lighten the mood
And to distract you from your troubling thoughts, using his quick wit and playful humor to bring a smile to your face
Sokka suggests going for a moonlit walk together, strolling along the beach or through the quiet streets of their village as they share stories and enjoy each other’s company under the night sky
He encourages you to express your feelings through creative writing
Or journaling providing you with a safe outlet to process your emotions and reflect on your experiences
Sokka suggests practicing some basic self-defense techniques together
Just teaching you simple moves and strategies to help you feel empowered and capable of protecting yourself
He offers to build a makeshift fort with you using blankets and pillows
And that creates a cozy and comforting space where they can relax and feel safe from their nightmares
He suggests engaging in a friendly competition or game together
It can be a board game, card game, or sparring match, to help distract you and boost your mood with some lighthearted fun
Sokka uses his storytelling skills to craft an original bedtime tale for you, weaving together elements of adventure, humor, and inspiration to captivate your imagination and ease your troubled mind
He ends the night by simply being there for you, offering you a reassuring hug or comforting presence as you drift off to sleep, knowing that you are not alone and that he will always be there to support you
“Hey, it’s okay. You’re safe here with me. It was just a bad dream.”
Katara
Tumblr media
When you have a nightmare, Katara would immediately notice your distress and offer her support
She’s the group’s mom so she’s kidna used to it
Plus she had tons of nightmares when Aang almost died numerous times
And later when he did…
Anyway
Katara would sit beside you, gently placing a hand on your shoulder or back to offer comfort and reassurance
She would encourage you to share your feelings and thoughts about the nightmare
Assures you that you can trust her with your emotions
Katara would offer words of reassurance, reminding you that you are safe and that the nightmare was not real
She might suggest calming techniques
Like deep breathing or visualization to help you relax and ease your anxiety
Katara would offer physical comfort by hugging you if you’re comfortable with it
And providing a sense of warmth and safety
She might create a soothing atmosphere by dimming the lights, playing soft music, or offering a warm cup of tea to help you relax
Katara would offer affirmations to help you feel empowered and supported
Remindes you of your strength and resilience
Katara would stay with you until you feel calm and ready to go back to sleep
She’s ensuring that you don’t have to face your fears alone
In the morning, Katara would encourage you to engage in self-care activities that help you feel grounded and at peace after experiencing a nightmare
Throughout the day, Katara would check in on you to see how you’re feeling and offer continued support and encouragement
“I know it can be scary, but nightmares aren’t real. You’re strong enough to overcome them. I’m here for you. You don’t have to face this alone.”
Toph
Tumblr media
Toph’s first instinct might be to offer some tough love
Like telling you to toughen up and not let the nightmare get to you
Toph might offer practical advice
Suggesting techniques like grounding exercises or focusing on your breathing to calm down
Despite her tough exterior, Toph is fiercely protective of her friends
She might offer to stay with you until you fall asleep again, ensuring you feel safe
Toph is known for her blunt honesty
So she might reassure you that nightmares are just tricks of the mind and not something to be afraid of
Toph might suggest distracting activities to take your mind off the nightmare
Like practicing bending moves or sharing stories of past adventures
Toph might share her own experiences with nightmares
Just letting you know that you’re not alone and that everyone struggles with bad dreams sometimes
Toph often uses humor to lighten the mood
So she might crack a joke or make a sarcastic comment to help you feel better
Despite her tough exterior, Toph can also be surprisingly gentle when it comes to comforting others
She might offer a reassuring pat on the back or a comforting hug if you are open to it
Toph might use her unique perspective as someone who has faced her own challenges to empathize with you and offer understanding and support
Toph’s approach to comforting you might be more straightforward and direct, reflecting her no-nonsense attitude
“Quit your whining. It’s just a stupid dream. Focus on something real. Like the feel of the ground beneath your feet.”
214 notes · View notes
theangelsheardyou · 11 months ago
Text
Mrpeg soukoku for the soul🫄🧑‍🍼
Kouyo calls dazai while he's at work and tells him to meet up with her ASAP
her tone is very serious so he ditches work to see her (much to kunikidas dismay)
They meet up at a coffee shop where kouyo coldly tells him that chuuya is in danger and that he must do everything in his power to protect him right now
Dazai has no idea what's wrong and when he asks her she says that he'd rather tell him himself
They go to chuuyas apartment where he's seated at the dining table, a bottle of wine opened but untouched, like he was about to drink from it but suddenly decided not to. Next to it stands an empty wine glass that chuuya stares blankly into without a word
There's a knock at the door, it's kouyo. And she brought dazai with her.
Dazai heads over to chuuyas side and asks him what's going on. Chuuya just looks up at him and then slowly looks down, his hand turning into a fist
"I'm pregnant" He says
There's a hush that falls over the room
"What do you mean?" Dazai asks
Suddenly, chuuya is angry. He stands up and bangs his fist against the table, almost destroying what was on it
"I mean that I'm strong and independent and make a good living so I can do this very well without you! So if you're going to leave and abandon me again then just do it already! We don't need yo-"
Chuuya is cut off by dazais tongue in his mouth, the taller man's slender fingers cupping the other's cheeks as he did so
After their lips part dazai looks at chuuya with love and gentleness in his eyes
"Can I speak now?" He asks. His actions caught chuuya off guard, but he lets him speak anyway
"I think that's amazing news" He says.
"Really?" "Of course"
"Chuuya, you are strong, funny, courageous, daring and by far the most beautiful person I know. I love you more than anything and I would love our baby just as much."
"If I made you think that after everything we've been through together I would just pack my stuff and leave, then I'm sorry. I promise never to make you feel that way again. I'm here, Chuuya. I'm staying right here, with you."
There's tears welling up in chuuyas eyes that he wipes off with his jacket sleeve
He gives dazai a hug, his arms enveloping around his neck
"You're an idiot" he says lovingly
"Aw, you love me~"
Suddenly, there's a sound of glass crashing
The two separate to examine the empty wine glass that fell to the floor
"Shit, hold on lemme get a dustpan" chuuya says as he makes his way out of the room
Dazai finally turns to look at kouyo, knowing she had dropped it on purpose
"So, is there anything you want to tell me?"
"As happy as this occasion may be, you're not thinking of the risks"
"What risks?" Dazai asks "chuuya is perfectly healthy"
"I mean the fact that he is a mafia executive who might just lose his job or his life if he's too pregnant to be useful to Mori"
"Please, Mori loves chuuya. He'd never do anything to him"
"You clearly haven't learned a thing from your time in the mafia. Mori isn't about love and empathy, if chuuya is unable to work then he will be gotten rid of. You have to make sure that doesn't happen"
"Kouyo, you know me. You know I love chuuya more than anything. I won't ever let anything happen to him." Dazai says
"You better not."
Chuuya suddenly walks into the room with a broom and dustpan
"Hey, what were you guys talking about? I heard a lot of talking"
"Just plans for the nursery" dazai says as he turns to chuuya with an innocent smile
"What do you think, green or yellow for the walls?"
"Don't you think that's thinking way too far ahead? Kids not even the size of my hand yet"
"You can never be too prepared!" Kouyo says delightedly and with a smile.
"You never know what could happen"
Kouyo and dazai share a cold look at each other in an attempt to intimidate the other. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to work for either of them
Felt kinda cringey in some places but it feels good to get this idea out of my system. Part 2 coming right after this one cause I have nothing better to do🩷
28 notes · View notes
anarchywoofwoof · 1 year ago
Text
As you learn a new skill or your brain intakes further information, a complex dance of chemicals, cells, and physiological reactions begins.
An insulating layer forms around each nerve cell in the brain and spinal cord called Myelin. As you learn or begin to understand information, the myelination process reinforces new neural pathways. Myelin forms a thick sheath of protein and fat that acts in the way that an insulator around an electrical cable would, strengthening and speeding electrical signaling in the nerve pathways that connect one neuron to the next.
In addition to the formation of myelin, novel experiences cause a rush of Dopamine, a neurotransmitter, in the brain’s ventral tegmental area. From there, it’s released into the prefrontal cortex. Dopamine is the chemical that mediates pleasure and, thus, is often referred to as the “pleasure chemical,” but this is a misnomer, and the assertion is flawed; dopamine doesn’t actually produce pleasure. It does, however, reinforce feelings of pleasure by connecting sensations of pleasure to certain behaviors. 
It is, nonetheless, an indisputable fact that a wealth of dopamine has been expended, afforded, and consumed in this journey. And it is no less accurate that the nerve cells within my mind are as well reinforced as the most secure of bank vaults. They remain securely guarded, cased in myelin as they travel through vast regions of what some might call superfluous space, occupied by names and dates and facts and figures stored away haphazardly like dusty manila folders, crammed into overflowing taupe squares, stacked thrice tall and teetering ominously.
This, of course, a parable to the chaos that rests somewhere between the frames of my eyeglasses and my central nervous system.
But standing – and note, I do mean standing, as nary a Midwestern gale or fascist shoulder could upend me – here on the far side of a disaster twice removed, I can make a declaration of sorts:
“To be optimistic in such exceptionally pessimistic times is a unique, beautiful, and rewarding insanity.”
Do not mistake this for placidity or stubborn positivity in the face of a wholly negative reality. It is accurate and valid that you will find yourself in moments that do not warrant a positive perspective. In these moments, the key is empathy, care, validation, love, support, and rebuilding when the time is right. There is a warranted time to despair.
Despair; “to be overcome by a sense of futility or defeat.”
Despair naturally destroys courage and stops all effort, yes, but what lies underneath could very well be a kind of courage and intense activity founded upon the sense that there is nothing worse to be feared. Quoting George Eliot, “What we call our despair is often only the painful eagerness of unfed hope.” To be greeted with these feelings in our darkest times, when the understanding that there is no recourse of action left but to endure, is to be wrapped in the embrace of a love whose absence was largely unrecognized.
Thus, I look to hope, eager and famished, seeking respite. And in my quest for hope, I find all I need and more. When I turn to myself and take inventory of the tools I have at my disposal and the control I have over my own destiny, I am at peace. The choices are not easy; the road is not paved in gold, but what road is? And so I forge ahead in the name of those too tired to carry on, knowing the tacit agreement must be fulfilled, that we must do it for ourselves & thus, each other.
48 notes · View notes
wtfastaroth · 7 months ago
Note
Soldiers, poets kings? EXPLAIN 🙏 (@darlenicy )
Sorry, it took me a long time to write but here it is.
This explanation is about a team, how each of them would act in a fight/exploitation situation as we saw so much in the series.
For me, a soldier is someone with a battle strategy, is someone energetic and simple, someone with great morale, confidence and strength, someone courageous who will do everything in his power to defend those they love, a defender.
Bloom has a very strong sense of morality, she will do everything in her power to help others, above all she conveys trust to people, her friends know that she will never betray them.
Musa has courage, she fights for everything she believes in, she fights for herself and her friends, her strength comes from her perseverance. People think that because she is more cheerful and open, she will always be a sweet person with everyone, but the truth is that she is very frank, always says what needs to be said, and will treat others the way they deserve to be treated, she doesn't give respect for nothing, you have to deserve it.
Brandon is strong, he built his mental and physical strength alone, his daily effort is enormous, he works hard to be someone better every day, he wants to evolve more and more, if he makes mistakes he learns from them, hes not ashamed of his "weaker" self.
And Nabu is Nabu ✌️ (I don't know how to explain his lol)
Poets are dreamy and witty, extremely empathetic, but this does not mean weakness, in fact it is their greatest weapon. They are great arguers and extremely socially intelligent.
Stella may not look like it but she is very empathetic, she speaks without thinking and hates hurting other people's feelings without meaning to. As she grew up alone she had to raise herself, her mother ignored her and her father only paid attention when he wanted to look like a good father to the public, she saw all her parents twisted decisions towards the empire, and learned from their mistakes to become a leader and no longer a dictator like em.
Flora, do I really need to explain? Look at her, she is an extremely witty person, her strength comes from her great empathy towards everyone, her morals are unbreakable, her sense of right and wrong is strong, her empathy makes her seem weak but that is all she is not. At first her insecurity and innocence hold her back, but soon these chains are broken and she feels the confidence she needs to stand firm and be able to act.
Helia is an artistic and creative person, he looks at the world with different eyes, eyes full of charm and magic, he is unshakable and a great friend. It's also very similar to Stella, like A LOT. It is because of that many things in common that they were able to create such a sincere friendship.
My Riven is like in canon but with some depth?, this aggressiveness is a defense mechanism that he had to create within himself, he takes time to trust, and he is extremely insecure in his social relationships, but above all he has empathy, he doesn't want anyone to go through what he went through, and he doesn't force others to want to be on his side, Riven gradually wins everyone's hearts, he is a person of his word and honor and would never leave any member of the Winx backwards. (Sorry for the cliche lmao)
Kings, or bette, leaders, are people who inspire, they are people who are soldiers and poets mixed together, and that is why they are so good at guiding roles. Their empathy mixes with their courage and morals, making them able to command and help others.
Aisha was created to be a great queen, to make decisions for the good of her team. As she grew and learned from all the people on her planet, she honed and polished her fighting and command skills. She still needs to learn that all her actions interfere with the group tho
Tecna is a strategist, she was taught that the logical is more reliable than the emotional, so she became capable of remaining calm and finding solutions even in the most stressful situations.
While Aisha is a born leader, capable of charming and gaining the trust of others, she is still stubborn, this charisma influences people to follow her, even if the path doesn't make sense. On the other hand, Tecna doesn't have that much charisma, she's terrible at dealing with this aspect of leadership, but she knows how to identify which fights are worth it or not, so the two take action on each other's weak points, together they become better.
Timmy is able to understand the people on his team well, always knowing how they are doing and listening to them before making decisions, he assesses the physical and psychological state of each person carefully, to know if they are comfortable and well.
Sky is sky, I don't even need to explain.
I explained a little poorly to not accidentally add any spoilers, so it might be a little empty emotionally speaking lmao
6 notes · View notes
mjs-oc-corner · 2 years ago
Text
riddle era character sheet
1/??
requested tags: @endlessly-cursed @camillejeaneshphm
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Name: Grant Hudson Westbrook
Nicknames: Westbrook (quidditch), buddy (from his dad), Bear (from most of his friends, mostly in reference to his height and personality)
Birthdate: December 10th, 1929
Zodiac: Sagittarius
Nationality: American/British (American father, British mother)
Blood Status: half-blood (pureblood mother, squib father)
MBTI type: ENFJ
Tumblr media
Physical Appearance
Hair: light brown
Eyes: blue
Height: 6’3 and 1/2”
Weight: 200 lbs.
Body type: strong, muscular build, tall and slightly imposing
Skin tone: light, tans easily
Distinguishing marks (scars, birthmarks, etc.):
from birth/childhood
scar on the back of his upper left arm from rough-housing with his brothers
feint birthmark on lower right side of his back
from teenage years/adulthood
scar on third finger of his right hand from being pecked by a rather rambunctious owl in CoMC
small burn mark on left forearm from a dragon chicklet
multiple small, feint scars on his torso and arms from missions
one large, but feint, scar on his left side from being grazed with diffindo during a mission
small eye of Horus tattoo on right inner wrist (he got this while on his first mission in Egypt, after being told that the symbol represents protection and healing)
Tumblr media
Background
Hometown: Winchfield, England
Family:
Mother
Lucille Rose Westbrook née Napier, a pureblood witch born to Virginia and Howard Napier. second born of four children. a Hufflepuff alumni, Lucy was best in her class at charms and herbology. she would graduate Hogwarts and find a career as a herbologist. as a mother, Lucy’s main goal was to ensure that her children grew up in a loving, supportive household.
Father
Lawrence Charles Westbrook, a squib born into a pureblood family of Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff alumni. eldest child of Alice and Theodore Westbrook. Lawrence would never attend Hogwarts, but once he finished with muggle education, he would have a career as a carpenter, opting to provide for his family as best as he could.
Siblings
the oldest of four children, Grant would have two younger brothers, Joseph (January 31st, 1931) and Kenneth (December 28th, 1932), and a younger sister, Nancy (February 27th, 1936)
Tumblr media
Hogwarts
House: Ravenclaw
Best class: defense against the dark arts, potions
Worst class: history of magic (he can’t help but to start feeling sleepy during class)
Extras: Quidditch (beater for ravenclaw)
Boggart: his mother, but as an evil witch trying to kill him
Riddikulus: his mother, but in a comically over-exaggerated way with big round eyes and a bobble-head
Patronus: brown bear (grizzly bear)
Patronus Memory: his first quidditch match, when he’d kept the opposing team’s chaser from scoring the winning throw and his team celebrating him
Mirror of Erised: a vision himself, standing proudly in front of a large pile of treasure acquired from many missions, with multiple achievements to his name as a Cursebreaker
Amortentia (what he smells like): leather, sandalwood, a hint of vanilla
Amortentia (what he smells): the smell of sweets from honeydukes and vanilla, with hints of jasmine and lily of the valley
Tumblr media
Career
Ages 11–18: Hogwarts student
Ages 18–42: Cursebreaker/Archaeologist
Ages 42–45: Defence Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts
Ages 45–retirement: Study of Ancient Runes professor at Hogwarts
Tumblr media
Personality & Attitude
Priorities: his family and friends, his education, his career
Strengths: his physical strength and endurance — compassion — empathy — generosity — wit — curiosity — courage — even-tempered
Weaknesses: stubbornness — impulsivity — perfectionism
Stressed: before quidditch games, during particularly tricky missions (though he doesn’t show it)
Calm/Comforted: when he’s at home on vacation, spending time with his friends and family, or in the comfort of his office
Tumblr media
Favorites
Color: navy blue, gray
Food: goulash and potato soup, but he loves a good chocolate cream pie, a slice of cake, or some homemade cookies to satiate his sweet tooth
Drink: tea with a sprinkle of sugar, coffee with creamer and two sugars
Weather: party cloudy, temperate
Hobbies: archaeology and studying ancient runes, quidditch, traveling, writing, farming and gardening
Fashion: when he’s not in a plain white shirt and trousers (his usual work attire for missions), Grant opts to look more presentable and refined— especially if attending high-profile events. during his years as a professor, he could be more commonly found wearing nice suits or a nice button-up with dressy trousers.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Relationships
Significant Other/Love Interest: TBD
Grant is currently open for a relationship with others’ ocs, feel free to message me or reply to this to let me know if you’d like for your oc to be shipped with him!
Friends
TBD
Grant is currently open for friendships with others’ ocs, feel free to message me or reply to this to let me know if you’d like for your oc to be friends with him!
Rivals
TBD
Tumblr media
Trivia
his first mission was in Egypt, where he spent three months. he has quite a few souvenirs that he kept for “conversation pieces”, one being a set of carved figures including Anubis, Osiris, Horus, and Bastet. another is a scarab made of gold that had been gifted to him. he would have two more missions in Egypt during his life.
after his time in Egypt, he travelled to America and spent almost two years there working on missions. while there, he’d helped track a thunderbird and he’s never forgotten about it
having grown up in a middle-class family, Grant had learned early on how to live within his means, which carried into his adult life
he has a vast knowledge of how to care for muggle farm animals, from being raised on a small farm
Grant is fiercely protective of those that he loves, which is why he believes that his patronus is a grizzly bear (though this patronus is said to represent inner strength, patience, and courage)
12 notes · View notes
aigenfandoms · 1 year ago
Text
Randomized Fanfic
All characters and scenarios are randomized
All writing is completed by an AI program
Project Sekai
Characters selected: Tsukasa Tenma & Kaito
Selected scenario: Kaito notices Tsukasa has been spending more time in the wonderland sekai and confronts him about it
Kaito's footsteps echoed through the virtual world of Wonderland SEKAI as he made his way to the meeting spot. Confusion and concern tugged at his heart, his mind filled with questions. Why had Tsukasa been spending more time with him in this digital realm lately? Was there something wrong? Determined to find answers, Kaito approached Tsukasa, who was standing near the edge of a virtual waterfall, seemingly lost in thought.
"Tsukasa," Kaito called out, his voice laced with a mix of worry and curiosity. "Can we talk?"
Startled, Tsukasa turned to face Kaito, a hint of surprise on his face. "Oh, Kaito! Sure, what's on your mind?"
Kaito took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before speaking. "Lately, I've noticed that you've been spending more time with me here in Wonderland SEKAI. It's been great having you around, but I can't help but wonder why. Is something bothering you?"
Tsukasa's expression softened, and he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry if it seemed strange, Kaito. It's just... I needed an escape, a way to distract myself from some personal issues I've been dealing with in the real world."
Concern etched on his face, Kaito took a step closer. "Tsukasa, you know you can talk to me about anything, right? We're friends, and I'm here for you, both in the real world and in Wonderland SEKAI."
Tsukasa nodded, a mix of relief and gratitude in his eyes. "I know, Kaito, and I appreciate that. It's just that sometimes, the weight of reality becomes too much, and I find solace in this virtual world. It's a place where I can temporarily forget my worries and just be myself."
Kaito's empathy grew, and he reached out, placing a reassuring hand on Tsukasa's shoulder. "I understand, Tsukasa. We all have our moments when we need a break from the real world. But remember, facing our problems head-on is important too. If there's anything I can do to help, please let me know."
Tsukasa smiled, a genuine warmth spreading across his face. "Thank you, Kaito. Your words mean a lot to me. And you're right; I shouldn't rely solely on Wonderland SEKAI to escape my troubles. I'll try to face them courageously."
Kaito returned the smile, a sense of relief washing over him. "That's the spirit, Tsukasa. And don't forget, our friendship extends beyond this virtual realm. I'm here for you, no matter what."
They stood there for a moment, the sound of the virtual waterfall providing a soothing backdrop to their conversation. Tsukasa's burden seemed a little lighter, knowing he had a friend like Kaito by his side.
Together, they ventured deeper into Wonderland SEKAI, not only to escape the hardships of reality but also to create cherished memories, forge lasting bonds, and discover the strength to confront life's challenges. As they explored the vibrant landscapes, their friendship grew stronger, their shared adventures becoming a source of support and inspiration.
In the world of Wonderland SEKAI, Tsukasa found solace, and Kaito found the opportunity to be the pillar of support he knew his friend needed. And with each passing day, their friendship blossomed, both in the digital realm and beyond, providing comfort and encouragement as they faced the complexities of the real world together.
5 notes · View notes
papirouge · 1 year ago
Text
and let's not even begin with how "this is happening" and "it has nothing to do with me/have no impact in my life" arguments are both stupid arguments to justify your carelessness about something
Like- just say you "don't care" and be done with it.
Society changed precisely because individuals went over their tribalist interest and went out of their way to defend their ideals and morals. White people marched along Blacks for equal rights. Men allied with feminists for women's right. People all around the world protested for issues affecting the other side of the blog purely out of idealism (apartheid). And that selfless empathy is what makes us human - not tribalistic "each ofr their own" packs of flesh.
Of course, not everyone is from that breed and some are more courageous than others, but why trying to find some sort of (flop) kinda self victimizing rationale behind your unwillingness or inability to take a stand?
The of some of you to consistently make everything about yourself (in such a dire and tragic situation) is so vile and disgusting. Ghoulish behavior.
2 notes · View notes
crazyfilterlady2024 · 10 months ago
Text
"Embracing Change: Navigating the Winds of Transformation with Courage and Compassion"
Tumblr media
"Get ready to buckle up for a digital rollercoaster ride through the heart of the online jungle, where the battle for success is fierce, and the stakes couldn't be higher! Welcome, thrill-seekers and truth-seekers alike, to a no-holds-barred exploration of the wild world of internet growth and the shocking truths that lie beneath the surface. Strap in tight as we peel back the layers of this digital maze, uncovering the stories of triumph, tragedy, and everything in between. It's time to ignite your curiosity, fuel your passion, and dive headfirst into a whirlwind of insight, inspiration, and intrigue! Welcome to the ultimate journey towards online enlightenment – where the only limit is your imagination! It's a tale as old as the internet itself: the haves versus the have-nots, the successful versus the struggling. But what's truly enraging is when those who've made it to the top not only ignore the plight of the disadvantaged but actively hinder their progress".
Tumblr media
Picture this: a budding YouTuber with dreams as big as the screen they're broadcasting on. They've got talent, they've got drive, but what they don't have is a level playing field. Instead of receiving support and encouragement from their more established peers, they're met with disdain and derision. And why? Simply because they're not able-bodied or don't fit into society's narrow definition of success.
It's a sickening reality that's all too common in the online world. While some bask in the glow of their subscriber counts and sponsorship deals, others are left to fend for themselves, scraping by on the crumbs of an unequal system. And what's worse, those who could make a difference, who could use their platform for good, choose instead to turn a blind eye, too wrapped up in their own success to lend a helping hand.
Tumblr media
But enough is enough. It's time to call out this injustice for what it is: pure and simple discrimination. Whether you're a content creator, a consumer, or just someone who believes in fairness, it's time to take a stand against the bullies of the internet. After all, we're all in this together, and success should never come at the expense of others' well-being.
So, to all those who would rather tear others down than lift them up, I have a simple message for you: mind your own business. Focus on your own success and leave the rest of us to pursue our dreams in peace. And remember, you never know the battles others are fighting behind the scenes, so before you judge, take a long hard look in the mirror.
In the end, we all have a choice: to be part of the problem or part of the solution. I know which side I'm on, and I hope you'll join me in standing up for what's right. Because until we all have an equal chance to succeed, none of us can truly call ourselves winners.
Tumblr media
In the vast landscape of the internet, where clicks and views reign supreme, it's easy to get lost in the pursuit of success. But amidst the frenzy of likes and shares, it's crucial to remember the human beings behind the screens. Each click represents a person with their own struggles, dreams, and aspirations.
As we navigate this digital world, let's not lose sight of our humanity. Let's treat each other with kindness, empathy, and respect. Let's uplift those who are marginalized, amplify their voices, and create a more inclusive online community.
To those who wield their influence like a blunt instrument, using it to crush the dreams of others, I say this: your power comes with responsibility. Use it wisely. Use it to build bridges, not walls. Use it to inspire, not intimidate. And above all, use it to make the world a better place for all.
Tumblr media
So, let's band together, not in competition, but in collaboration. Let's celebrate each other's successes and support each other through the setbacks. Let's create a digital world where everyone has the opportunity to thrive, regardless of their circumstances.
Because at the end of the day, it's not about how many followers you have or how much money you make. It's about the impact you have on others, the connections you forge, and the positive change you bring to the world.
Prepare to delve into the depths of human selfishness and callousness, for we are about to confront a disturbing reality: the chilling indifference that pervades our society. It's a tale of those confined to the confines of their homes by fate, grappling with mental disabilities and other challenges, yet finding the courage to strive for something more. And yet, in the shadows lurks a breed of individuals whose sole concern is their own advancement, heedless of the dreams they trample in their wake.
Picture this: individuals confined to their homes; their aspirations stifled by circumstances beyond their control. They face daily battles against the demons of mental illness, physical disabilities, or other adversities. And yet, despite these monumental obstacles, they dare to defy fate, seeking solace and purpose in the pursuit of knowledge and skills that could pave the way to a brighter future.
Tumblr media
But alas, their hopes are dashed against the callous indifference of their fellow human beings. Instead of extending a hand of support or encouragement, they are met with scorn and disdain. Those who should be their allies in the fight for progress become their most formidable adversaries, crushing their dreams beneath the weight of their own selfish ambitions.
And what's worse, these same individuals who callously disregard the struggles of others are quick to offer hollow condolences and empty gestures of sympathy when tragedy strikes. They parade their faux empathy on social media, basking in the fleeting spotlight of virtuous indignation, yet oblivious to the hypocrisy of their actions.
But let me make one thing abundantly clear: this cannot continue. We cannot allow the voices of the vulnerable to be drowned out by the cacophony of self-interest and indifference. We must stand firm against the tide of apathy, championing the cause of empathy and compassion in a world that sorely needs it.
To those who would trample on the dreams of others in pursuit of their own gain, I have a simple message: your actions have consequences. The wounds you inflict may not be visible, but they run deep, leaving scars that may never fully heal. It's time to take a long, hard look in the mirror and ask yourself: what kind of legacy do you wish to leave behind?
In the end, we are all interconnected, bound together by the threads of our shared humanity. It is only by lifting each other up, rather than tearing each other down, that we can truly thrive as a society. So let us pledge to do better, to be better, and to never lose sight of the profound impact that our actions can have on the lives of others.
In the vast expanse of our digital age, where connections are made with a click and empathy seems to be in short supply, it's time to shine a light on the darkness that lurks within our hearts. We live in a world where it's all too easy to turn a blind eye to the struggles of others, where self-absorption and indifference have become the norm.
But amidst this sea of apathy, there are those who refuse to be silenced. Those who, despite facing unimaginable challenges, dare to dream, dare to hope, and dare to strive for a better tomorrow. They are the unsung heroes of our society, the ones who refuse to let adversity define them.
And yet, even as they reach for the stars, they are met with scorn and derision from those who should know better. Instead of offering a helping hand, they are greeted with cold indifference, their dreams dismissed as fanciful fantasies. It's a heartbreaking reality that speaks volumes about the state of our humanity.
But we cannot afford to despair. We cannot allow the darkness to extinguish the light of hope that burns within each and every one of us. We must stand together, united in our determination to build a world where compassion reigns supreme, where empathy is the currency of the realm.
To those who would seek to crush the dreams of others, I say this: your actions have consequences. You may think that your indifference goes unnoticed, but make no mistake – the scars you leave behind are all too real. It's time to take a long, hard look in the mirror and ask yourself what kind of legacy you wish to leave behind.
In the end, it's not about fame or fortune, but about the impact we have on the lives of others. It's about lifting each other up, rather than tearing each other down. It's about building a world where kindness is not just a virtue, but a way of life.
So let us stand firm in the face of adversity, let us be beacons of hope in a world shrouded in darkness. Together, we can make a difference. Together, we can change the world.
Listen up, folks! It's time to address the elephant in the room: change. Yeah, you heard me right. Times have changed, and we're not living in our grandparents' era anymore. We've evolved, we've adapted, and guess what? We're doing things differently now.
Tumblr media
Now, I get it. Change can be scary. It can be uncomfortable. But here's the thing: progress waits for no one. We can't keep clinging to the past, holding onto outdated ideals and expecting the world to stay the same. It just doesn't work like that.
Sure, our parents may have had it tough. They faced challenges we can't even imagine, and yeah, maybe they had to adjust to our era. But you know what? That's life. It's messy, it's unpredictable, and it's constantly in flux.
So why are we still holding onto the past like it's some kind of safety blanket? Why are we so quick to judge others for daring to forge their own path? It's time to wake up and smell the coffee, people. We're all just trying to survive in this crazy world, and we all deserve a chance to grow and thrive.
So, let's cut each other some slack, huh? Let's give people the space they need to spread their wings and fly. After all, who are we to stand in the way of someone else's journey? We're all in this together, whether we like it or not.
And hey, if you're still hung up on the past, I get it. But here's the thing: the future is waiting, and it's full of endless possibilities. So, let's embrace the unknown, let's embrace change, and let's embrace each other.
Because at the end of the day, we're all just trying to make it in this crazy world. So, let's do it together, with open hearts and open minds.
Alright, folks, it's time to wrap things up with a bang! We've dived deep into the heart of the matter, laid bare the truth, and let's face it, stirred up some emotions along the way. But before we part ways, there's one last thing I need to say.
Change isn't easy. It's messy, it's complicated, and yeah, it can be downright infuriating at times. But here's the thing: it's also necessary. Without change, we stagnate. We become stuck in the past, unable to move forward or grow.
So, let's embrace change with open arms, with a fierce determination to carve out a better future for ourselves and for generations to come. Let's channel that anger, that frustration, that passion into something positive. Let's be the catalysts for change that our world so desperately needs.
Tumblr media
And hey, if you're feeling overwhelmed, if you're feeling like the weight of the world is crushing down on you, just remember this: you're not alone. We're all in this together, navigating the turbulent waters of life as best we can.
So, let's lift each other up, support each other, and never lose sight of the incredible potential that lies within each and every one of us. Together, we can overcome any obstacle, conquer any challenge, and build a brighter, more hopeful future for all.
So, until next time, keep fighting the good fight, keep pushing forward, and never, ever give up. The world is counting on us.
As we wrap up our journey through the twists and turns of change, let's not forget the valuable lessons we've learned along the way. Change isn't just about shaking things up for the sake of it; it's about growth, progress, and evolution.
Throughout history, we've seen countless examples of individuals and societies embracing change and reaping the rewards. From the invention of the wheel to the advent of the internet, humanity has continually pushed the boundaries of what is possible, driving innovation and transformation in every aspect of life.
But change isn't always met with open arms. There will always be resistance, fear, and uncertainty. And that's okay. It's natural to feel apprehensive about the unknown. But it's how we respond to that fear that truly matters.
Instead of succumbing to the paralysis of indecision or clinging desperately to the status quo, let's confront change head-on with courage and resilience. Let's harness the power of our collective ingenuity to shape a future that reflects our values, aspirations, and dreams.
And let's not forget the importance of empathy and compassion in times of change. As we navigate the complexities of transformation, let's extend a helping hand to those who may be struggling, offering support, understanding, and encouragement along the way.
Because ultimately, change is about more than just progress; it's about people. It's about creating a world where everyone has the opportunity to thrive, where diversity is celebrated, and where every voice is heard.
So, as we bid farewell to this chapter of our journey, let's carry forward the lessons we've learned and the insights we've gained. Let's embrace change as a force for good, a catalyst for growth, and a beacon of hope in an ever-changing world.
Tumblr media
Love Always:
Maria D.C Santiago
aka Crazy Filter Lady
#OnlineEquality #StandUpForOthers #FairPlayOnline #NoMoreDiscrimination #EmpowerEveryVoice #InternetJustice #EqualOpportunityOnline #SupportTheUnderdogs #EndOnlineBullying #TogetherWeRise #HumanityOnline #KindnessMatters #DigitalEmpathy #InclusiveInternet #EmpowermentThroughConnection #SupportAndUplift #OnlineCommunityBuilding #InspireNotIntimidate #TogetherWeThrive #DigitalPositivity #EmpathyMatters #SupportNotScorn #HumanityFirst #DreamCrushersBeware #CompassionOverConvenience #StandUpForOthers #NoMoreHypocrisy #TogetherWeRise #KindnessIsStrength #BeTheChange #IlluminateKindness #DareToDream #EmpathyRevolution #BeTheLight #HopeInDarkness #TogetherWeThrive #HumanityUnleashed #CompassionConquersAll #StandStrongStandTogether #DreamersUnited  #EmbraceChange #ProgressIsKey #LetPeopleGrow #SurvivalOfTheFittest #NewEraNewRules #ForwardTogether #BreakTheMold #UnleashPotential #EvolveOrBeLeftBehind #ChangeIsInevitable
fav83523
Tumblr media Tumblr media
0 notes
mintedemrys · 1 year ago
Text
If y'all want it, here's an excerpt from the first chapter:
There’d been no order in which everyone had sat around this table before, but now, Merlin looked and paid attention. Bravery, for Lancelot. Strength, for Gwaine. Compassion, for Percival. Empathy, for Elyan. Wisdom, for Gaius. Courage, for Arthur. Heart, for Gwen. And there, at Courage’s right hand, where Merlin sat: Magic. He wanted to laugh, but all that escaped him was a strangled sort of sob. It had been right there, right in front of him – in front of all of them – for years. And no one knew. Not one single person at that table understood the significance of the symbols carved into the surface, and then Arthur went and took it and turned it into a gaudy centrepiece for his council. With a noise that no human voice should have been able to make, Merlin slammed his hand down on the table, and the stone cracked in two. The divide ran right between Courage and Magic, and the table bowed apart, each half hitting the ground with an ear-splitting crack. It was almost fitting. The two of them – Merlin and Arthur – had always seemed so close, so united, so balanced. But really, there was an unbreachable divide between them. Merlin wasn’t just some average sorcerer, and Arthur was no ordinary knight. Destiny proclaimed them to be two sides of the same coin but if that were true then how could they ever stand together? A coin could not balance on its edge in perpetuity, it had to fall one way or the other, always putting one above the other. This was the moment before the coin fell.
Not me turning my bitter!merlin fic into a merwaine fic.... nope.... definitely not me...... (this is a blatant lie, it is me, and I am feral about it so someone should definitely ask about it so I can post about it)
55 notes · View notes
valentina-writes · 3 years ago
Text
Craving
A/N: Sorry, that I haven't posted in quite a while! I was lacking motivation a little bit and had a ton of other stuff to do. This one here was not requested, but the idea for it was stuck in my head for a couple days now and I couldn't concentrate on writing anything else. I will probably write some of the open requests soon.
Word Count: 1.8k
Warnings: light smut (only a few paragraphs)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
„Come on, Y/N, we‘re waiting for you!”. Cassian’s voice is calling out to you from the dance floor. Behind him, you spot Mor, looking seriously offended you’re leaving her alone and instead sitting in a corner of Rita’s with a not even half-finished drink in your hand. Rhys and Feyre must be here somewhere too.
Even Azriel is on the dance floor, a rare sight. You can’t help but stare at him, the way his wings glow faintly in the glimmering lights of the club. His body that moves so flawlessly to the rhythm, so unlike the movements you are used to see him perform when training.
Fingers entangled in your hair, the hot feeling of his lips on yours. His voice in your ear, telling you he would take you slowly.
You shake your head as if to get rid of the memory, but still blush as Azriel’s gaze meets yours for a second.
“I’m sorry guys, but I don’t feel like dancing today”, you excuse yourself. That being said, you set down your glass and quickly escape out into the night.
Inhaling the cold air slowly, you try to calm down. It’s not his fault, you remind yourself, that you can’t seem to get over him. That you start thinking in an inappropriate way as soon as your eyes meet.
His lips met your neck, kissing and sucking on it. You couldn’t help but lean into his touch, your body begging for him to come closer. As his kisses travel downward you cannot help but moan out his name.
“Y/N is everything okay?”, Mor calls out to you. The fantasy in your head is gone, leaving you restless, yearning for him.
“Yes, I’m fine”, you say, not looking up.
“No, you’re not and you know that”. She’s close enough to see your face now. “What’s wrong?”, she asks. Her eyes soften as she hugs you. Mor must have seen your despair.
“I- it’s nothing, really”. At her strict look, you wince a little bit. You want to tell her. But it’s just so embarrassing.
“I had sex. With Azriel”, you start over, taking a deep breath. But before you can continue, she exclaims: “By the Mother, that’s awesome! When? Why didn’t you tell me?”.
A tear builds up in your eye and before you know it, you’re crying into her shoulder.
“It- it… it was a couple years ago”, you finally manage to say. By now all you can really feel is embarrassment. “And it’s not awesome. Well, it was. But-“. You start sobbing again.
“It was a one-night stand. He… acts as if nothing ever happened, but I can’t stop thinking about it and whenever he looks at me, I-“. You stop talking. It sounds absolutely idiotic, even to you.
But Mor doesn’t look bewildered. Instead, she hugs you even tighter, rubbing your back slightly.
“What happens then, sweetie?”, she asks.
Sighing, you gulp down your embarrassment: “I miss him. A lot. He’s still there, of course. But afterwards he stopped talking to me the way he did before. We’re not as close anymore. And above all I not only miss our friendship …”, your cheeks heat up again, “Since him I’ve never had sex THAT good again, so I stopped having any altogether. And now I’m not only missing him and kind of into him, I’m also sexually frustrated and lonely”.
You did have sex with other males in the succeeding weeks. But none of them had been able to give you the same feeling he did. That indescribable feeling of closure and … being loved. Even though he most likely didn’t love you, because it took him a month to even look at you again.
Mor’s face is a mix of amusement and empathy: “Like… no sex in years? For a guy who fucked you so good but then what? Ignored you? Even though there was this feeling that nobody else could give you?”. You nod, and she actually starts laughing. “Honey, if you weren’t that sad it would be hilarious, because it sure as hell sounds like he’s your mate”.
Your entire world shifts in that moment.
Your sweaty bodies are tangled in his sheets, gasping for air. Azriel’s shadows swirling around you, purring in your ears. With his final thrust, the world around you seems to fade away. There’s just him and you, for a second you don’t even know where his body ends and yours begins anymore.
Shocked, you look at her. “I… that kind of makes sense? But he would’ve talked to me then, wouldn’t he? I … I’m so confused right now”.
Your thoughts are running wild. Was this the reason he ignored you? Because he was overwhelmed? Was he waiting for you to make the first step? Or… Or was he not interested in the bond and wanted to reject it?
“Y/N? Mor? Is everything alright? Rhys told me to look after you, you’ve been gone for quite a while now”. You quickly wipe away your tears at Azriel’s voice. What should you tell him?
Mor winks at you, already making her way back towards the entrance: “Everything alright, shadowsinger. You might want to stay and talk to Y/N for a second though”.
And just like that, Mor vanishes, leaving me alone with Azriel. His wings are slightly shuffling behind his back and his gaze on me looks worried.
“So, uhm what did Mor mean?”. His shadows are coiling closely around his arms, showing how uncomfortable he is.
You inhale slowly, making sense of your thoughts. You find no good solution, so you just decide to start at the beginning.
“A couple of years ago we… after a celebration for you when you came home from a mission we had sex. Do you remember?”. It was almost painful to say this while watching him. Not only was the atmosphere incredibly tense, but also the possibility of him actually having forgotten about it made you sad.
He frowned a little, “I do remember, Y/N. Quite well, actually. But I don’t get what you’re trying to tell me”. For a second, you believe to see a certain hunger in his eyes. An expression you had only seen once on him before.
Nodding, you continue, “There was this… this feeling back then. Something I’ve never felt before. And nobody else has been able to make me feel the same way. I told Mor about it…”
You can’t finish your sentence, he cuts in sharply, “Why are you telling Mor this after years?”. And to himself, almost inaudible, he murmurs, “Don’t think about the other males”. The anger on his face is devastating.
You are absolutely terrified, but know you have to tell him. So, you muster up all of your courage and speek the words aloud that had been on your mind ever since, “Because I am in love with you. Because I don’t know what I should do about this, as you’re so distant all the time. And I cannot take this anymore, I miss you. I hate seeing you with other females. When I can’t fall asleep I think about this connection I felt that night”.
The pure shock on his face quickly gives way to a broad smile. “And what Mor meant is that… when I talked to her and described that feeling to her, she said we are most probably mates”. The last word is purely a whisper hanging in the air between you two. Mates.
And then, without hesitation, he begins to talk. “The first time I felt the bond was about two weeks before that night, when I said goodbye to you before that mission. It was so painful to leave you behind…”
“Hold up, you knew of the bond?”, you question him. Guilt creeps upon his face. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you ignore me for weeks after we had sex? Do you know what this did to me? All these years and you didn’t bother to just talk to me?”. Hot tears again spill over your cheeks.
He comes closer, as to wipe your tears away, but you back away.
“Y/N, I thought you didn’t want the bond. That you rejected it. Or worse, that it was only one-sided, because I couldn’t feel you across it. Rhys told me that the safest way to know was to just sleep with you, because then the bond normally clears up, but it didn’t work. At least I thought so”. The look on his face is pleading, but still, all you feel is anger and loneliness.
“So you only slept with me because Rhys told you so?”.
“No! I did it, because I love you and wanted you, truly. I still wished that the mating bond would reveal itself. And when I thought that it hadn’t worked, I couldn’t bear to be around you. I was so angry at the Cauldron, because I felt unworthy. Again. Imagine being in my situation. Having a mate, but the bond not working completely, the other person unaware of what’s going on! I did what I had to do to protect myself”.
The vulnerability in his statement catches you absolutely off guard. A small smile formed on your face, as you walk a few steps towards him.
“Maybe we weren’t ready back then. Maybe it kept us waiting, because it knew we would need the time to work things out”, you suggest, closing the distance between you and him.
His eyes twinkle in the starlight, as he lowers his head, “Well, there’s only one way of finding out”, he says as he cradles your head in his hands. Slowly, he comes closer and closer, until you can’t endure the tension anymore and slam your lips on his.
His lips are velvet on yours, only intensifying the kiss after a few seconds. He holds himself back, almost painfully so. But you are yearning for him, for his touch. And as you licked his lower lip and he grants you access to his mouth, you felt it again. The euphoria racing through your veins. And as you kept kissing, it was as if a fog lifts itself and all of a sudden you can feel him, not only against your body, but also against your soul, interlocking with it.
He must have felt the same thing, as we both gasp for air almost at the same time. Azriel’s mouth twists into a smile as he kisses me again. His wings are now wrapped around you, obscuring you from any passers-by.
“I’ve waited 500 years to find you, my mate”, he says. The word echoing through me. Mate. Mate. Mate. You still can’t believe this is actually happening, as you send a wave of love across the bond. “But I would have waited 500 more for you. For this moment alone”.
At this, you kiss him again, unable to express your emotions any other way. “Let’s end this journey how we began it, shall we? With me in your bed”.
497 notes · View notes
mrslilyrogers · 4 years ago
Text
All I have to do is Dream Part 3
Pairing: Steve x Reader, Telepath! Reader (X-men reader)
Summary: It’s been five years since the snap. You and Steve are stuck at an impasse. You want a family, he doesn’t. He says he’s moved on but has he really? With your doubts growing, you consider risking his trust and use your powers on him to get your answers once and for all.
Author’s notes: This is late and not as long as I hoped it would be but hope you all enjoy! There might be one more part left to this series and maybe an epilogue. 
Tumblr media
Eight voicemails and twelve messages. Eight voicemails and twelve messages from the person you wanted to talk to the most. Everyday for the past few weeks since you left, he called. And everyday your hands itched to reach out and call back but you stopped yourself. 
“I love her!” 
His voice echoed in your head. Enough was enough. Your fingers kneaded your temples, trying to alleviate the headache forming there. It didn’t help that there was a dark gnawing feeling in your gut, something was wrong. You knew it. A sixth sense, if you will. It happened the first time your powers manifested. You had been eight then, in front of the television with your dad when suddenly, your heart started to beat faster, your breaths coming in short pants, and your forehead dotted in sweats; a strong sense of foreboding crept under your skin and ever since then, life had never been the same. 
That night, you slept in a restless slumber; trapped under a heavy spell while you watched your father as a young boy. You had no idea how you knew the man who carried you over his shoulders, who seemed so strong and indestructible to your child’s eyes, was this same little boy you watched. You couldn’t understand it, you were dreaming but it was so real. Every detail as crisp as if you had been there and witnessed it. It wasn’t long before it all changed, everything before you cast in a darker shade, the people around you in black, sliding apologetic glances towards the somber boy standing in between his grandparents. You started to break out in a cold sweat, you were at a funeral. The boy’s parents, your father’s parents, just died. You ran, screaming, your heart racing, trying to find a way to get out. You couldn’t stay here, you couldn’t. But the more frantic you became, the more everything jumbled, bringing out his worst fears and nightmares and all you could do was scream, helpless and trapped. 
Oddly enough, that was how you felt now. Despite leaving Steve for the sake of the both of you, you were trapped, helpless to the niggling thought at the back of your mind that something was about to go horribly wrong. You tried to remember everything Xavier Institute has taught you, you were a telepath and with it came a natural intuition you couldn’t ignore. A heightened sense of empathy and awareness. 
You understood people even when they barely gave you a chance to be understood. You still remembered all those times people ran away from you. Those you considered your closest friends, even your teachers, treated you as if you were the plague. Their thoughts filled with dread and terror while you desperately tried to explain yourself but the more agitated you became, the more you lost control. It gave you no other choice but to distance yourself from them, getting homeschooled and keeping to yourself as much as you could. Your father tried his best, you knew he did but he could never look at you the same way. You didn’t have to get into his head to hear his cries at night, worrying and wondering where he went wrong.
It wasn’t long before Professor X found you and invited you to join his school for the gifted. School for the gifted. There was a time you couldn’t say that without a roll to your eyes, how could it have been a gift when all it ever caused you was sorrow? The day it was finally time for you to leave the only home you’ve ever known, your father’s relief was palpable in the air. He never gave voice to it and instead promised to visit as often as he could but even then, you knew he wouldn’t have been able to keep up. He visited you less and less as time went on until your relationship was reduced to a couple of phone calls barely lasting five minutes long. 
That was why you learned never to get too close. You owed to the X-Men who you were today. They had given you a place to call home, somewhere to belong to. For all the years you spent at the institute, they were nothing but kind to you, encouraging you, helping you hone your abilities and to cope with the loss of your former life. They gave you a fresh start, a new family and it should’ve been enough and in some ways, it is. But there was always a part of yourself you couldn’t give no matter how hard you tried and so the moment you could leave, you left. You wandered on your own, occasionally coming back to visit and catch up before leaving again, never planting any roots. That was the way you wanted it, that way you could never get hurt. 
Until Steve.
He instantly broke down your defenses and what was supposed to be a one-timer mission turned longer than you would’ve ever dreamed. You would’ve been lying if you said you didn’t stay with the Avengers because of him. The truth was as much as staying with them was fulfilling, there was a part of him that called out to you. You understood him, a man out of his time. Out of place. All you’ve ever felt your whole life. His loneliness drew you to him like a moth to a flame. He never showed it, too proud to admit it to himself but you knew it the instant you met him. He was untethered, burdened to continue on in a world he didn’t belong in. Your heart ached for him, for a man so lost that he only ever felt alive when he was at war. You tried to help him see the world with color again. “Ironic, coming from you,” you thought to yourself. But the more time you spent with him, the more your cynicism chipped away bit by bit until you became closer to the person you were before your abilities. Free to dream and love as you should’ve been. It was as if you needed him as much as he needed you. 
“Would you like a refill for that, honey?” the kindly old waitress asked, jerking you out of your reverie, her wrinkled face etched into a pitying smile. You shook your head and gave her your thanks, the dread in your chest intensifying once more. 
Look at where you are now, back to square one. 
You huffed at the tiny voice inside your head. She was right. Here you were, sat on a dingy couch at a diner in the middle of nowhere running from the people you loved the most. You looked at your phone again, the gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach screaming at you to do something. You should at least call Nat, you thought to yourself. You’d been planning to call her anyway even though you always chickened out. That seemed the safest thing to do for your sanity, make sure they were alright then you’d be on your merry way again. It was the only way to calm your racing heart, to get rid of that sense of foreboding creeping up at you and pulling you down. You could just be anxious, right? Guilt and shame of leaving plaguing you before you could truly move on. After that phone call, everything will be put back to rights. You’ll feel better, you keep telling yourself. Only your mind wouldn’t listen. 
The ringing on the other end of the line kept you on edge and when Nat’s worried voice greeted you, you let out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding. 
“Y/N! Where the hell have you been? Steve has been looking everywhere for you! Do you know how worried we’ve been?”
You could hear the hurt in her tone and your heart broke at how you’d left things with your friend, completely forgetting about how she’d react when you impulsively decided to run away. But they were safe. At least, they were safe. Tears pricked at your eyes, you had no idea just how desperate you’ve become to hear her voice on the line, to know that nothing had happened in your absence and the stress of these past few weeks have just been taking its toll.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Nat--” you broke off, your voice cracking from trying not to cry. 
“I shouldn’t have left the way I did but it was just too much, I had to leave. I couldn’t stay, not after everything that happened,” you continued, sniffing through it, willing yourself not to break down to your best friend on the phone in the middle of a busy diner.
“I know, sweetie. Steve told me all about it.” She sighed, sounding tired, before continuing, “You know I will never pick any sides right? I’ll support whatever you decide.” 
“Thanks, Nat. I knew you would, I never doubted you. It’s just… it’s been a lot to take in and I can’t… I don’t know how to face him if…” you trailed off, not having the courage to continue what you knew all along. It was one thing to admit it to yourself but another to say it out loud to another person. It made it more real. More final. You picked at the hem of your shirt, shaking your head. It was as if Nat knew what you were thinking, she gave another sigh on the other end of the line.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to talk about it now. But Y/N, he really does love you. He hasn’t been the same since you left and--” she immediately cut herself off as if she was about to say something she shouldn’t. You didn’t miss her sharp intake of breath before she continued, “You should really talk to him, Y/N.” 
“Nat, what’s going on? Are you guys alright?”
You felt goosebumps on your flesh. Rubbing your free hand on your thigh, you tried to calm your racing nerves.
“No, no, we’re fine. Don’t worry--” she replied instantaneously, reassuring you but before she could continue, you cut her off, relief washing over you. 
“Good. That’s good. Cause for a while there, I thought you were gonna say something crazy. I’ve just been having this weird feeling that something big is going to happen. But I’m probably just being anxious. Sorry, what were you saying?” 
“You really do have that scary clairvoyant thing going on sometimes,” you heard her laugh at you, teasing, but before you could say anything else, she turned serious, 
“Y/N, we’re gonna try to bring everyone back,” her voice was filled with hope and determination that it made you pause, your brain struggling to keep up. 
What? Did you hear her right? 
She started to explain their plan but your mind was already spinning. You immediately left the booth, slapping a ten dollar bill on the table. Your frantic steps heading into the direction of your car parked outside.
“Nat, Nat, hold on. What do you mean you’re leaving? Traveling through time? Is that even possible?” You slammed the door on your car, your voice hushed as if scared to even wonder, heart beating rapidly in your chest. 
If she really meant what you think she meant then they were all going to risk their lives for an attempt to bring everyone back. But who knew if it would even work? What if they got lost? What if they never came back? You didn’t give yourself a moment to hope. This was too dangerous. Too quick and impulsive. You needed to talk to Steve.
Before Nat could reply, you heard him call her in the background, his voice authoritative and resolute. They were ready. They were going to leave now. 
“Nat, let me talk to him,” you heard yourself say without preamble. There was no need to think it through, it didn’t matter if he hated you, if he wanted nothing to do with you, you just had to talk to him. 
“Who’s that?” You could hear him ask in the background, his voice far, his footsteps approaching. 
The moment he realized who was on the other line, the moment he saw your picture flash on his friend’s screen, his hand shot out frantically for it, scared you’d leave before he even got a chance to hear your voice. 
“Y/N?” he asked softly, worried you might suddenly end the call. You could almost see the look on his face, eyebrows furrowed, eyes searching and concerned. 
“Steve,” All the emotions you felt carried out in a single name. Regret, shame, longing. That was all it took before you broke down into tears. If you hadn’t called Nat, if you had let even one more day pass by, your last fight could’ve been the last time you ever saw him. 
“Is everything alright? What happened? Are you okay?” he was suddenly alert, voice booming with concern and just a little bit of panic. 
“No, I’m fine, I’m fine. Nat told me everything. Are you leaving already? What’s going on?” you managed to choke out, trying to regain as much composure as you can. You heard him let out a sigh of relief on the other end. 
“Oh, doll. Don’t worry about us. It’ll be alright. We’ve got it under control, I promise,” he sounded so sure of himself, his voice so soothing, almost as if he were caressing your back like he usually does to reassure you. You heard his footsteps again and the closing of a door, you assumed he looked for a place more private, quiet. This time, you wouldn’t easily let up. 
“You can’t promise that, Steve. Let me come with you,” you pleaded, exasperation in your tone. You surprised even yourself, your hands already frantically moving to drive.  You had no idea what came over you, had no idea what you were even really getting into. All you knew was that no matter where you stood in your relationship, you’ve been through so much together, you couldn’t let him face this alone. 
“No. Absolutely not. It’s too dangerous, Y/N. Just stay where you are and I’ll come find you when all this is over,” his voice brooked no argument. You could already tell how he looked like, his head shaking vehemently, feet braced apart, eyes flashing with determination. 
“Steve--” you started, voice rising in return but he immediately cut you off. 
“Y/N, listen to me. I don’t have much time but please, just this once, promise me you’ll stay where you are. Keep yourself safe until I come find you--”
“No way am I--” you spoke over him, your patience wearing thin, panic rising in your throat. 
“Y/N, let me finish. Doll, I don’t have much time. We’ve already ran simulations and this works. We’re gonna get them all back but I can’t do that if I think you’re in trouble so please, baby, just promise me you’ll stay put. It’ll only be a minute for you. Just stay where you are, please. I can’t lose you, love.” his voice verged on desperation, making you pause. 
“I know I’ve said some things I can’t take back and god, do I fucking regret them every single day since you left but I love you. And if this fails and I don’t come back, I need to know you’re at least safe. I need you to promise me that,”
“Steve, don’t… don’t talk like that,” you shook your head, not acknowledging what he was saying. This was unfair. Steve was never one to be pessimistic, he never showed any vulnerability before a mission and the fact that he did now made your heart ache. He had one goal and one goal only, he wanted to right what he perceived to be his wrong. He was going into this fully prepared to give his life to get everyone back. But for you, the stakes were too high. Who knew the dangers of what the past held? What if something happens that would keep him there? 
“Love, please. We’re leaving soon,”
You let out a huge breath. “Just promise me you’ll be back?” 
You could almost hear the smile on his face, could almost see his shoulders sag with relief. 
“Then promise me, you’d stop driving while on the phone,” he joked, trying to make light of the situation. He knew how you could get when you excessively worried about him. He didn’t even realize how much he loved it until now that your fussing was reduced to a phone call. 
“Steve, I mean it,” you warned seriously. 
“When have I ever backed down from a fight? And this is just an extraction mission. I’ll be back before you know it, I promise,” his voice sounded so calming, you almost believed it. 
Despite his downplaying, you knew the risks. Time travel? Who could even say they’ve thought this would be possible even in their wildest dreams?
“I’ve gotta go, sweetheart. I love you. I’ll come to you as soon as all this is over,” you heard the scuffle of feet in the background, heard F.R.I.D.A.Y calling out to him, and suddenly, you didn’t have enough time. You had so much to say, so much to apologize for.
“Steve, wait--” you started desperately, ready to beg for forgiveness. 
“Don’t.” he cut you off quickly as if already knowing the direction you were heading in. 
“There’s no need, doll. I love you, we’ll make this work. I promise, I’ll do everything I can to make it work,”
He sounded so sincere, so forgiving that it made your lips tremble into a soft smile.
“I love you too, Steve. I’ll see you guys in a minute,” you replied, trying to sound as lighthearted as you could when you heard Nat scream it to you in the background. You didn’t want to psyche him out with your worry. This was the mission of his lifetime, everyone depended on him. 
You tried to ignore the heavy feeling in your gut, the fear crawling up your veins. 
Something is about to go wrong. 
Steve chuckled, finally feeling a weight being lifted off his chest, finally able to hope again. This was the future he looked forward to. 
“We’ll see you in a minute, baby,”  
You hoped to God you would. 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author’s notes: This was tough to write since everything happens through a phone call. I tried to capture the tension of the situation through that and hope I did. As always, let me know what you think! Thanks for reading! 
505 notes · View notes
vibraniumwing · 4 years ago
Text
the truth in your eyes.
a bucky barnes x fem!reader blurb wherein the reader shows bucky that someone does trust him.
WARNING: TFATWS SPOILERS, bucky having flashbacks, aside from that nothing else. (maybe a dash of angst if you squint just enough)
A/N: so as you all know, episode four was a rollercoaster of emotions for everyone and well that one scene where bucky was finally set free tore me into a million pieces, making me sob so hard (the hardest since the last episode of wandavision) and gave me so much muse. listened to hate to see your heartbreak by paramore while writing this. totally didn’t cry while re-watching those scenes for this fic. (sobbed even more when i listened to safe and sound bye)
beta read by these two lovelies: @anchoeritic and @harrysweasleys but mistakes are all mine!
Tumblr media
---
“...Hail HYDRA” was all that left Bucky’s lips as he easily snapped the neck of the man that he pursued in another mission as the Winter Soldier. His face was blank and cold as he stood there, eyes gazing over the lifeless body of the man in front him before looking at the other man standing by the end of the hallway, practically frozen with fear.
The sound of his boots were resonating in the hallway, overpowering the clatter of the keys of the man as he tried his best to unlock his hotel room. Panic consumed him as he felt The Winter Soldier’s presence draw nearer to him, “P-Please, I didn’t see anything,” He begged, avoiding the super assassin’s intimidating gaze.
Fear creeping into his system as he knew he was facing his untimely death as the stare of the man made him cower even more in fear, his breath staggered as he spoke, “I- I didn’t see anything.” He repeated profusely, unable to control his sobs as the gun was easily pointed to him, eyes closing as his demise came with a loud
BANG
Bucky jolted awake, sweat accumulating on his forehead, his body flushed despite the cold air that drifted through the room. His head turned to the cause of the sudden sound only to see your water bottle on the floor and your siamese cat, Steve, replacing its spot. He shifted his attention to you, wanting to make sure that you weren’t disturbed in your sleep.
The corner of his lips turned into a smile to see you deep in your slumber, your plush tiers slightly ajar as soft snores escaped. You looked so snug and harmless in his shirt, its size making you seem smaller as you were drowning in the clothing piece.
He slowly made his way out of your bed, slipping away to the kitchen to grab some milk to calm down his nerves. His steps were quiet, creeping around the apartment, scared he might accidentally wake you up and the last thing he wants is to disrupt you from your good night’s rest.
Bucky knew the layout of your apartment’s layout like the back of his hand, easily making his way towards the fridge where he grabbed his carton of chocolate milk that you bought especially for him, knowing about the secret love for sweets the man has. Grabbing a mug, he poured the cold drink and placed it inside the microwave, heating it up.
He then leaned back into the kitchen island, arms crossed together as he was still deep in thought, the terror of the innocent man that The Winter Soldier killed haunting him as he knew he had to make amends with his father once he gained the courage to do so. His right arm covering his mouth as he let a frustrated groan, wanting nothing more than to have these dreams stop haunting him.
“It is time” Ayo said from across the fire, spear in her hand as she looked at Bucky with a determined look.
He was less than half of the man he was at present, broken and lost as the Wakandans took him in and helped him regain control over his mind, hoping to give him some sort of stability in his life. Hiis eyes cast down and was focused on the fire in front of him, its warmth giving him a sense of comfort, “You sure about this?” he questioned, voice laced with a mixture of despair and hope.
“I won’t let you hurt anyone” The warrior reassured, staying silent for a moment to give way for Bucky to ready himself. She walked towards him slowly as she started off, “желание” her voice the only thing heard aside from the gust of wind and the crackle of the campfire. “Ржавый”
“...семнадцать” and that’s when he felt it. Flashbacks of him and Steve’s fight along the highway of New York coming back to him, the first time he encountered him after years of no contact; he didn’t even know himself when Steve called him Bucky. His struggle as Zemo got a hold of the infamous red notebook that holds his trigger words, activating the Winter Soldier that caused disruption amongst the avengers.
“добросердечный, добрый. девять” Ayo continued, watching him intently, seeing the struggle that was clear as day on his face. Bucky continued to have his memories thrown at him, seeing the destruction he caused as something he wasn’t, causing him to erupt in tears.
“Один” His torment under the hands of HYDRA causing him great pain as he fought everything under his willpower to keep everything contained. Bucky’s tears were uncontrollable as realization hit him.
“грузовой вагон” Ayo finished, looking at him with a warm and proud smile, relief evident in her demeanor as she spoke, “You’re free.” causing him to erupt into a sob.
Those two words echoing in his mind as he finally felt free, a heavy weight lifted off from his shoulders, feeling himself gain control over the monster that lived inside him; overjoyed and relieved that he can start the journey of being free from there. He was finally James Buchanan Barnes again.
“Bucky!” a voice disconnected him from his train of thought, head whipping to the side where he saw you, clad in just his shirt as you hugged the pillow with one arm, the other raised as you rubbed the sleep off from your eyes. “Your milk is cold again.” you stated, dropping the pillow as you walked in front of him, wrapping your arms around his bare torso.
He was quick to reciprocate the hug, holding you close to him. “You shouldn’t be up yet, doll.” His voice was gruff, trying his best to hold back the tears that welled up in his eyes, pressing a quick kiss to the crown of your head before burying his face against your neck, inhaling your scent that he found comfort in.
“The cold is bed without you.” You mumbled softly, feeling drowsier than ever as the heat from his body was enough to lull you back into slumber. Your jumbled sentence made him chuckle, further proving his point that you should be sleeping.
But you knew Buck like the back of your hand, he would only drink his chocolate milk hot if there was something he wanted to clear his mind so you pulled away just enough for you to look at him, your e/c orbs meeting his icy blue ones that showcase so much emotion that his face couldn’t convey. “What’s wrong, James?”
His brows furrowed for a second upon your use of his real name, knowing that you were serious about your question, “Nothing, baby. I’m fine.” He reassured, squeezing you lightly in his arms, hoping that you would buy his alibi but you weren’t fooled despite your sleepy state.
“You only drink your chocolate milk warm if you have something on your mind, so please, James. Tell me.” You pleaded, your innocent state tugging Bucky at the heartstrings as he flipped your position, easily lifting you to sit on the kitchen island as he positioned himself in the middle of your legs, his arms not leaving your frame.
“I… I had another nightmare.” Buck started off, his voice was still as low as before, but it was laced with a hint of brokenness as he recalled the horror of his dream. “You know the recurring one I’ve been dealing with? That one.” he didn’t want to go into detail about anything, finding it hard to find the right words to use. “I… I still feel like a monster.”
You shushed him, pulling away to let your hands rest on his shoulders, your eyes meeting his once again. “You’re not a monster, Buck. You never were.” Which was true, you were the few who believed that he was innocent and not a cold-hearted killer like everyone believes him to be. “You didn’t have a choice一 so please don’t blame yourself for any of this,”
Your smaller hands found its spot on the sides of his face, wiping the tears that glistened on his skin as the moonlight hit him, highlighting the beauty of his eyes even more. “It would take a person with real empathy to see the truth in your eyes. Those beautiful eyes that have shown me nothing but love and adoration, you have my trust Buck. You have me, Sam, and… Steve. You have us.”
Bucky was silent, taking in your words before nodding, his larger hands engulfing yours as he held them, giving them a reassuring squeeze. “Thank you, Y/N. For always believing in me, for trusting me.”
“Always, James. Always.”
---
TAGLIST: @https-bvcky @luana @harrysweasleys @weasleytwins-41 @anchoeritic @lunalovecroft
those whose usernames are in bold, i cannot tag you for some weird reason. join my taglist! it's located in my main masterlist!
330 notes · View notes
kanene-yaaay · 3 years ago
Text
Talks, Teases and Tea
Warnings: I can’t think of any. They’re just talking about boundaries and lightly teasing and tickling ech other. Brief Ler!Aizawa and Lee!Hizashi with implied Lee!Toshinori. About 2500 words.
Kanene’s notes: Heya! I’ve been wanting to finish this fic for a while! I wanted to write a bit more about it because it is an interesting scenario but dfghjdfghjr I was already losing the tracks with this quite long fic, so, yay! I am glad I am finally sharing this w u all <3. I hope u like this ^v^
[~*~]
Toshinori winced at his own smile, staring at the cup of tea in front of him with an intensity that wasn't really needed. His gaze flicked quickly across the two guests in the room, analysing the situation. Aizawa drank his tea slowly, partly oblivious to Hizashi, who kept drumming his finger on the tabletop in a rhythm he was sure he heard somewhere, humming a song. Their gazes locked together and Toshinori couldn't help the slight blush which traveled to his cheeks. They quickly averted their eyes.
Aizawa's loud, exasperated sigh flew across the room. "You two are ridiculous."
Hizashi and Toshinori broke down in giggles, not really denying the black haired teacher words, the acknowledgement of how they, professional heroes trained to act through the nervousness and pressure, just spent minutes deviating glares and blushing like teenagers in love making them only laugh harder.
"It's kind of silly, isn't it?" Yagi was the first to get himself together, softly smiling under Shouta's intense eyes.
"Yes." The aforementioned retorted. "But it's necessary."
"We can't say it isn't even a bit awkward, though." Hizashi contemplated, stirring a spoon on his untouched drink. His smile became wicked as he wiggled his fingers in front of Aizawa's face. "Aren't you nervous about sharing your deepest desires with us, Shou?"
He yelped as the other batted his hand away, scoffing, not unkindly. "Stop, you're scaring Toshinori."
The attention switched to the taller one. Showing vulnerability was difficult to all of them, but to the former number one hero it sometimes felt as if he would never be able to fully do it.
He was working on that.
"Oh, shit, sorry,  I didn't mean to."
"It's okay, Hizashi-san." Yagi scratched at his neck, wondering if the hot feeling painting his cheeks would ever disappear. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't trust you with it." His grin was small, but honest.
Aizawa did his best to not get up from his chair and hide Toshinori on his capture weapon before he killed him with cuteness, just as he did with his cats. At his side, Hizashi made a show of placing his hands on his chest and crying "My heart!" dramatically as if he just got shot. All Might's face got even redder.
"Right." The erasure hero started before his urge became stronger. "Let's start with a safeword."
"Right." Yagi beamed, getting a small notepad in hands and hurrying to find a blank space on it. 
He looked up when no more suggestions filled the air, only to find a very amused green gaze staring right at him as the other grumbled something about not being awake enough for that and stole Hizashi's tea. "Toshi, dear, what are you doing?"
"I'm, uh, actually I…" He cleaned his throat. "My memory is kind of bad so I was wondering that I could, maybe, take notes?”
"Will they be coded?"
"Yes."
“Then I don’t care. Do what works for you.”
"Oooh," Yamada popped in, hands resting on the tabletop as his body inclined forward. "Clever! Such a clever idea! Can you teach it to me later? And let me take pictures?"
"O-of course, Hizashi-san."
Shouts huffed, amused. "You know he will use all that information against you, right?"
"Shhh! Shou, don’t expose my evil plan!"
"Maybe we could use the Spotlight system?" Yagi cut their bickering, knowing the lengths they could take their playfulness and he really doubted he would have the courage to finish this conversation another day.
"Bo-o-ring! We should choose something more unique and new! Something more like..." The blonde's eyes suddenly gathered a dangerous glint. "I am here."
"No."
"Absolutely not."
"No, no, no, Toshinori-san, hear me out, hear me out!" His words almost couldn't be understood across his crackles, the voice hero trying to make the Number One hero to stop hiding his face, knowing that any attempt of reasoning about this with Aizawa would be quickly ignored. "Think about it! Think carefully about it!"
The called one peaked between the fingers of the hand, opening his mouth to vehemently protest against the use of his hero persona’s trademark phrase, but then, in that exact moment Yamada pointed to Shouta.
Suddenly, a very clear image of his gloomy, reserved coworker, with a gigantic smile plastered on his face shouting "I am here!" between his frantic, low laughter filled his mind.
He took a steady breath.
"I am tempted," was his final verdict.
"Yes!"
"I refuse."
"Democracy is really a bitch isn't it?" Hizashi pouted in fake empathy. "I promise I won't tease you... too much."
"I can and will kill you both before that. I am an underground hero, I have my ways."
Yagi chuckled. "I still believe we could use the spotlight system, too. It's faster."
"Noo, Toshinori-san! We were almost winning!"
Aizawa flicked him on the forehead, lips quirking upwards before he sobered. "We also need a word to signal a need for a break and a non verbal one. That is not negotiable."
Hizashi blinked, red dusking his initially confident expression. "Oh, yeah, this is actually a very good idea."
"For the non verbal we could tap out?"
"Nope. I trash around too much, probably would do this without even realizing it…" How could Yamada talk so freely about this, Yagi would never truly understand. "Ah, I know! We could just snap our fingers!” He was fast to demonstrate his words. “Quick and easy!"
"And we could use Break as the other one, everyone agrees?" Aizawa nodded at the affirmative sounds said by the others. "Good. Bondage?"
Silence.
"I am… not very comfortable with it as the ler, but…" Hizashi drummed his fingers harder on the tabletop, stopping only when Aizawa gave his mug back, happy in occupying his antsy hands with it. "Sometime... When I am in a strong Lee mood, I like the light ones?"
"Always ask before, then." Yagi smiled kindly at him before scribbling that down. "Shouta-san?"
"Yes. Just not my arms."
"Right."
"And you Toshinori-san?"
The pencil stopped for a second. Yagi chuckled nervously. 
"...I don't really know."
He couldn't describe it. That not quite quite, but definitely there, feeling that accommodated on his chest everytime he thought about it.
"It's okay." Yamada reassured. "It's never too late to discover and try it! When you feel comfortable enough to do that, of course. Also, don’t forget: just one word and we will stop."
"This talk is important exactly because of that."
Warmth filled Yagi’s chest at care and the safety that flowed from each act, each word from the other two.
"Of course." His tune then became serious. When did he get so soft in the first place? "And, if any of your preferences change, warn me. This needs to be comfortable for all of us, right?"
"Will do."
Shouta hummed in agreement.
"Okay. Aaand what about petnames?"
Suddenly, Yagi was very, very happy for having that conversation in person and not through shy, quick messages in their shared group - how he first intended for it to be,- because otherwise he wouldn't have had the gold opportunity to watch how fast Aizawa’s face was able to blush entirely with a single sentence.
The Erasure Hero lifted his gaze, gave a quick glance between Hizashi’s smug expression and Toshinori’s truly awed one and immediately shrunk on his chair, arms crossed and grumpy grubbles being chewed under his breath, the red on his features still shining brightly. 
“Fuck.” Both of the other two integrants in the room snickered at the curse.
“Baaabeee.~”
“Shut up. I hate you.”
“My deeear, my adorably, adorable blushy toyy.~”
Shouta twitched in his place, an uncontrollable wobbly smile opening its way to his lips, butterflies jumping and dancing non stop on his stomach. He shrunk even further on the chair, refusing to hide his face only because he knew how much of a fuel that would be for both blondes.
(And, maybe because deep down, he liked the attention he was receiving.) 
“I am going to leave.”
“Aww, why? The serious, grumpy Shouta can’t stand letting his bestest friends knowing that he is actually a soft, adorable, flustered-” at each adjective Hizashi ignored the other’s - admitelly fake - sharp gaze in order to poke his stomach with every word. “-little wiggle lee?”
It took just a blink of an eye. In a second Yamada was tormenting him, having an absolute blast with the way Shouta’s blush was travelling all the way to his neck, chest shaking with his attempts to trap the bubbling giggles inside, and, on the other, the underground hero used their proximity to grab the Voice Hero’s hand and twist him so the blond would be trapped on his arms, a surprised high pitched sound flying the air.
“I would be very careful with my next words, if I were you.” The black haired hero adjusted them so his low tune would hit directly Hiazhi’s unprotected, and also very sensitive, ears, that act alone being able to fish more whining noises from the blond.
“And you.” Toshinori couldn’t help the way his soft smile turned into a nervous one when those black, deep eyes stared directly on the bottom of his soul, the redness of his face taking some of the sharpness of his words, however. “Don’t think you’re out of danger just because there is a table between us. We know I’m faster.”
“I wouldn’t dream about it, Shouta-san.” Yagi replied with an amused placating gesture, his entire face filled with softness. “I was just appreciating how considerate and attentive it was from Hizashi-san’s part to bring up such an important topic and also how great it was for you to let him have some fun before your immediate reaction.”
He watched with a sweet interest and a polite faked confusion, as if he couldn’t understand the impact his words and the implications they held, as their faces were set on flames again with his blunt honesty. 
“You’re on thin fucking ice.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Shouta-san!” The former number one hero chipped before innocently writing down a few more lines on his notes.
“Yagi-san!” Yamada whined. “I thought we were a team! Partners in crime! Two forces that gathered together to bring Shouta down. How could you betray me like that?!”
Toshinori just grinned free of any guilt, not taking long before he sobered again. “Is there, however, any nickname you’re not comfortable with, Shouta-san, Hizashi-san?”
The one with vivid green eyes seemed lost in thought for a moment, so the underground hero’s grumbles were easily noticed in the sudden silence.
“Just don’t call me any variation of ‘pet’ and you’ll be fine.”
“Thank you.” Toshinori replied, writing that information down as well.
“Oh, yeah, I just remembered something. It’s not really a nickname and more of a situation? I think it can be called that?” Hizashi cocked his head to the side, fingers tapping on the temple of his glasses. “I mean, it’s not the topic here and I can wait for when talk about it, of course! I just literally remembered it-”
“Hizashi. Spill it.”
“Right. Okay. Hm, don’t call for help while we’re at it?”
Shouta furrowed his eyebrows, not really getting the reason for the wish. His gaze found Yagi’s one and found confusion there as well, however both were quick to let it be buried  away by understanding.
If Hizashi wanted to share his reasoning in the future, he would. It was not in their place to question his boundaries.
“Of course, dear.”
Hizashi could barely describe the warm, nice feeling filling his chest when he heard Toshinori calling him that, immediately melting when Aizawa gave his back a few light scratches, not enough to tickle, but just the nice tad of a good, comforting gesture.
“Softies, softies. All of you.” He sing sang cheerfully at them.
A squeeze on his tummy made a loud squeal cut any other teasing he might come up with. “I can show Yagi how soft you can be.” Aizawa purred, his hands slowly crawling to strategic, ticklish spots on his belly and thighs. 
“Shouta. Shouta, wait! Y-you know I was only kidding, my dear, my sunshine, my old pal, my very kind, very, very forgiving friend!” Yamada’s wiggles become stronger, titters spilling from his lips in between his pleas, body squirming and trying to escape from the other’s still strong hold.
“Don’t think you will able to escape so easily, not after the whole ‘petnames’ topic you decided to bring up.” His titters evolved to fast giggles when Aizawa decided it would be a good idea to place surprising pokes and prodding on his skin. “Also, a serious, sad face doesn’t fit you.”
“We stihihill have to finish the conversation!” Aizawa hummed, not convinced. “Yagi, my hero, tell him!”
Toshinori wouldn’t point himself as a coward, really. He had faced and battled against all kinds of villains with a reassuring smile and a booming laughter on the tip of his tongue, he had survived a meeting with Nedzu and Gran Tourino’s training.
However, as Aizawa’s smirk was thrown in his direction in sync with a sharp, playful gaze, he couldn’t stop the excited squeak that escaped from his mouth.
Also, at the scene of a previously smug Yamada giggling himself silly and staring at him with a fake pout, maybe he couldn’t help but feel a little playful, as well. Besides, even though he would deny it until his end days, Yagi knew how much soft Aizawa truly was when it came to the people he cared about, therefore the underground hero would be careful to not cross any of the blond’s boundaries. 
“Oh, my, it seems like the tea is cold.” He got up, gathering the cups on his arms. “Maybe we could take a deserved break before discussing the rest of the topics, right? I will make more tea.” And he grinned, light and innocently, at Hizashi’s energetic protests, which grew more less like words and more like a mess of laughter, snorts and giggles as the tallest friend directed himself to the kitchen.
After a few more minutes of tickles, Aizawa stared at the smiley mess on his hold with a dangerous shine on his eyes.
“You’re really a tickle monster, aren’t you?” Hizashi chuckled.
“It’s not my fault that he really believes he can escape from the same fate of yours.”
Yamada huffed a laugh, lightly smacking his arms. “Go. But soon enough I will catch my breath, so don’t forget to watch your back. ~”
Aizawa gave his hips a warning pinch before snorting as he got up, looking at the kitchen’s direction with a smirk on his face. “Good luck with that.”
Needless to say, they had a very giggly break.
77 notes · View notes
juniorgman187 · 4 years ago
Text
Things We Know By Heart (Spencer Reid Fluff)
Tumblr media
Summary: Reader teaches Spencer how to slow dance in preparation for his wedding. The only problem? Reader’s in love with Spencer, and she isn’t the bride. 
A/N: S/O to Kyla who bullied me throughout all of elementary school. Ik you’ve probably changed since then, but you literally traumatized and tormented me for more than six years of my life. So I felt like including you in this story as, “Kayla,” Spencer’s fiancé. Tehe, I’m petty like that.  Couple: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid Category: Fluff Word Count: 6.5k
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 
I think we’d all like to believe that somewhere out there is our person. And somehow, someway, they’ll get to where they need to go, right where they belong. 
With us. 
That’s what I’d like to believe. 
I’d like to think that no matter what happens along our journeys to each other, we’ll arrive at the same destination regardless. 
But that isn’t necessarily true, is it? 
Because maybe, my soulmate got lost along the way. They met somebody great, someone they think is their person, and they married that person. They had kids and eventually, grandkids with that person, even though, deep down - they knew it wasn’t right. They stayed with them anyway because their fear of being alone superseded their fear of being with the wrong person for life. 
And what am I to do when that happens? When my person finds a different person. 
Am I supposed to believe that the universe will be so kind as to give my soulmate the courage to leave their relationship behind and forge a new one with me? 
Am I supposed to expect that the world will supply me with another person, the person I’m supposed to marry? 
Or do I simply wait for my person to come to the conclusion that they’re meant to be with me after all and my naive entitlement to a soulmate is validated?
Is life really that magical? 
This is the story of what happens when your person loves a different person.
∙•○⦾☉☼☉⦾○•∙
With his hand at the nape of my neck to support my head and his other hand flat against the small of my back, he dipped me backward, leaning with me as I arched my back and bent the leg closest to the crowd, pointing my foot to elongate my leg artistically. This was our ending position so I remained in it until the song ended. The two of us bowed to thank the audience and to conclude our performance. Roses fell at our feet while the sound of applause echoed in the room. I was never a fan of being the center of attention, but there was something about this overwhelming praise that was particularly blissful. It was intoxicating. 
“I didn’t know you knew how to dance like that.” I gushed to my partner; my cheeks growing pink from the heat and the head rush I got. 
He positioned his mouth right beside my ear so I could hear his words clearly over the rowdy cheering. “There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, Princess.” said Morgan.
A gauntlet formed to clap for us both when we walked off the dance floor. Hand-in-hand, Morgan led me back to the table through the double file line of people. The team howled with excitement when they saw me and Morgan approaching.
“So this is what you two were keeping a secret from us? That you’re dance partners?” JJ had to ask. 
“Yep. All those late nights and secret rendezvous.” Morgan said, shimmying his shoulders be suggestive of a sexual innuendo, which I was not a fan of. Out of mock offense, I chucked a small towel at him with a grouchy command to “Shut up!” 
He took the towel to the face like a champ, laughing it off and dabbing his sweat away. 
“I don’t know who was sexier up there - Princess or my Hubba Hubba!” Garcia squealed pretending to claw at Derek, reeling him over towards her. 
“You looked like a natural up there, Y/N. Were you a dancer before?” Prentiss questioned while handing me a glass of water that I desperately gulped down. 
“My mom sent me to dance classes as soon as I could walk.” I jokingly explained after gathering my hair into a makeshift ponytail and lifting it off of my neck, cocking my head to the side and fanning the back of my neck to cool down. 
“Maybe you should teach Reid how to dance before the wedding. He’s got two left feet and I don’t think he wants Morgan to teach him how to waltz.” JJ quipped, making Derek throw his head back in laughter. The thought of Morgan and Reid slow dancing would truly be something - something hilarious. I laughed, too, until Reid’s voice interrupted me.
“Yeah, that’s actually a really good idea. Would you mind, Y/N? Kayla would be so happy.” 
I thought he was joking, but his humorless expression told me otherwise. 
“You want me to teach you how to dance?” 
He pursed his lips and nodded, not understanding why I was so confused. 
“Um . . . yeah. I can do that. Sure.” My tone wasn’t very convincing, but Reid’s optimism made him oblivious to my reluctance. He smiled and hugged me with one arm around my shoulder. 
“I have to call Kay and tell her the good news.” Reid dashed away from the table, pulling out his phone to dial his fiancé. 
I darted toward JJ with fury and grabbed her by the arm, dragging her into the bathroom for privacy. 
“What the hell was that? ‘Oh, Y/N, you should teach him how to dance.’ You know how I feel about Reid!” 
Rather than giving me hostility back, she broke into a smile. “Exactly! If you spend more time alone with him, maybe he’ll finally admit to himself that he shouldn’t be marrying Kayla,”
I rolled my eyes and turned my back away from her. 
“We all know Spence would be happier with you.” 
As JJ spoke, I trudged to the nearest sink, holding onto the sides for stability as the ground below me swayed. She followed me, rubbing up and down my back comfortingly. 
“You know how he is. He keeps things to himself, until eventually they’re forced to come out. If you dance with him, maybe he’ll finally tell you he loves you without actually having to say it. Do this for him . . . and for you.” JJ gave me one last pat on the back before exiting the bathroom to leave me to my devices.
Normally, teaching a friend how to slow dance in preparation for his wedding would be sweet. It’d be a selfless gesture and an act of service for him that would show how much love there was in our friendship. In this case though, it was anything but. 
For the six months that Spencer and Kayla had been engaged, the team was relentless in trying to end it. I tried to stay out of it in case all hell broke loose, but I couldn’t escape it. No - I was at the very center of it. 
Before Reid even knew Kayla existed, he was head-over-heels in love with me. He’d ask me on coffee dates, wait by my desk for me, and he would always try to sit beside me at the round table or on the jet. It was sweet, really, but it could never go anywhere. 
I was in a committed relationship with my high school sweetheart Patrick. (Maybe Spencer had a thing for unavailable girls).
I moved in with Patrick after graduating from college, and after years of working in the BAU (and years of Spencer loving me) Pat proposed. At first, being engaged brought me so much joy, but halfway into our engagement, something changed.
I was in Wisconsin, consoling a grieving widow. She was hysterical after I delivered the treacherous news of her husband’s gruesome murder. She eventually calmed down and proceeded to ask me about my engagement when she noticed my ring. I gave her the bare minimum, fabricated a couple things here and there, but then she asked me the million dollar question. 
“Are you in love?” Her eyes glimmered with hope. 
My immediate answer was a habitual “Yes, of course.” But after seeing how deeply this widow loved her late husband, I couldn’t say in good conscience that that answer was actually true. 
That night I went to the hotel and lied on the bed, praying for clarity. 
Perhaps I wasn’t actually in love with Patrick. Maybe we’d been together for so long that it just felt safe and comfortable and familiar. Maybe it was the fear of disrupting the arrangement of my life that stopped me from ending things sooner. 
The fact of the matter was that I’d only ever known a life loving him, but that didn’t mean I was in love with him. Maybe I was settling for something with Pat, because I wasn’t sure if I could have a better relationship with anyone else. With all these doubts, I needed a sign. 
A knock on the door interrupted my inner dialogue. 
When I opened it, who else was standing there, but none other than Rossi.
“We need to talk.” He ordered. 
He followed me back into the room and sat at the foot of the bed. He said he noticed something was off about me, and I admitted that there was. So that night, I took advice I probably shouldn’t have from the man with multiple failed marriages, but it was a sign - and it was good enough.
When we returned to Quantico, I asked Hotch for some personal time, which he was happy to permit. That same night I went home and broke off the engagement with Patrick. 
I felt despicably cold when I watched him tear up and ask me, “Why are you doing this?” 
There was truly no concrete moment in our relationship that incited my decision, but it was merely the realization that being with him wasn’t right, because how could I stand there watching him beg for a change of heart but still feel nothing? 
Maybe I was much less than not in love. Maybe I didn’t feel a thing for him at all. Not hate. Not empathy. Not love. Just . . . nothing. 
Completely indifferent. 
Within the week of personal time I took, I spent most of it moving into Rossi’s guest house. After I came back from work, it took all of two hours before someone brought up the absence of the ring that I used to never take off, and I’d assumed they’d already noticed it the moment I walked in - they were just too afraid to ask.
“I ended things with Patrick.” I casually stated, not even looking up from my portfolio to give it the attention it probably deserved. 
While the rest of the team’s jaws dropped on the floor, Rossi was fighting a smirk considering this wasn’t news to him and having seen everyone else’s reactions was a priceless moment for him. 
There was a brief moment of awkward silence on the jet as the team processed my information, until finally Hotch cleared his throat and started debriefing again. In the seat next to me, Spencer was very poorly hiding his enthusiasm. Hearing I broke off the engagement was like a green light to make his move. And honestly, it was. 
So I waited. 
And I waited. 
And I waited. 
Then I waited some more for him to jump at the opportunity. 
But he didn’t. 
He never did. 
Instead, he introduced Kayla into our lives, and eventually, they’d get engaged, too. 
I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t developed feelings for Spencer while I expected him to act upon his palpable affection for me. And because of my newfangled feelings, I could never tell another soul that I sincerely believed Spencer got engaged just to spite me - to show me just how painful unrequited love was. 
The strangest part of it all, though, was that there was never a moment following the ending of my engagement and the birth of his own that showed me that his feelings went away. He never treated me differently or stopped talking to me. Even in the early stages of his relationship with Kayla, he continued to act like I was the only girl in his life. He was so consistent with his actions that it confused me.
Did he love me or not? And was I in love with him or not?
Evidently, the team seemed to have my answer. 
“He loves you and you love him. It’s as simple as that.” Prentiss explained curtly. 
Agreeing nods came from JJ, Morgan, and Garcia, who’d abducted me as soon as I exited the elevator that morning and snuck me into Garcia’s Bat Cave for an intervention. 
“We need to stop this wedding.” Garcia demanded. 
And since that glorious intervention, the team (minus Rossi and Hotch because Rossi seemed genuinely happy for Reid, and Hotch would definitely tell us it wasn’t our place) began trying to put a wedge in the relationship. I, however, made the smart choice not to be involved. 
If I was trying to get him to love me, why would I do something that would surely make him hate me like breaking up his engagement? Plus, the blind optimist in me believed that if I was actually meant to be with Spencer, it would happen regardless of Kayla. 
So anytime Morgan, JJ, Prentiss, and Garcia suggested something, I refused to participate. I was able to steer clear of any wedding crasher shenanigans up until JJ’s “slow-dance” suggestion. 
If Reid knew the true intentions behind these dance classes, he surely wouldn’t be pleased, but clearly - he didn’t. Because when I walked out of the restroom and back to the table, Reid still had a huge grin that took up half of his face, making his eyes look nearly shut. 
“Thank you again for doing this.” Reid beamed. 
“Of course! What are friends for?” 
Morgan, Prentiss, JJ, and Garcia exchanged satirical glances at my choice of words. 
What are friends for if not to purposefully set two people up in hopes of ending one person’s betrothal?
∙•○⦾☉☼☉⦾○•∙
Later that weekend . . 
“Come in!” I called out, buckling the ankle strap of my heels. 
The door opened partially and then all at once to reveal the one and only. I peeked my head out from behind a wall that was obstructing my view of him, immediately noticing a bouquet of lavender wrapped in twine. 
“Oh my goodness, what is this?” I asked in pure delight as he handed me the pretty purple flowers. 
“It’s a thank-you gift for agreeing to help me.” His lips formed a thin straight line, which was his version of a smile. A smile I appreciated whenever I was lucky enough to have caused it. 
“They’re lovely, thank you.” I told him, hugging him briefly before fetching a vase from the kitchen to put them in.
“Oh, good, I’ll tell Kayla you liked them. She’s the one who picked them out.”
The glass vase nearly shattered the moment he said that, but luckily, my reflex skills spared the vessel.
How big of a fool was I for thinking that he gave me flowers out of the kindness of his heart because he knew lavender was my favorite? But then again I probably needed that brutal reminder of why he was here in the first place - for Kayla.
As I put the vase on the kitchen island, I spun around, brandishing a fake smile. 
“So we should probably get started. I don’t wanna keep you here for too long.” 
“There’s no rush. Kayla won’t be home until late at night.” 
I tried not to think of the potential innuendo that lied within his statement, but Spencer wasn’t type to be disloyal, and I wasn’t going to be the woman to make him such a person.
“You look really nice, by the way.” I heard him say from behind me, catching a whiff of his cologne that was intoxicatingly sweet.
I did my best to not take the comment personally and let it get to my head, but I’d be lying if it didn’t elicit any response. I smiled to myself, which thankfully, he couldn’t see since my back was towards him as he followed me into my backyard. 
“You smell different.” He added. 
“Good different?”
“Yeah, absolutely. Is it a new perfume?”
I furrowed my brows. “No, it’s the same one I’ve been using for years.”
“Interesting,” I could feel him taking in this information, and I could hear the gears in his head turning at an even faster rate to spit out more information. “Did you know that you pick your soulmate by subconsciously reacting to pheromones that transmit their genetic compatibility? Yeah, there’s a relationship between attraction and scent, which dates back to our primal instinct. So if someone smells appealing to you, even if you don’t know it, it could relate to your attraction to them and vice versa.” 
“Ah, then maybe I should consider changing my perfume to improve my love life.” 
“Don’t be ridiculous. I love the way you smell.”
In the back of my mind lied the unanswered question I neglected to voice, “But do you love me?”
When we reached the backyard, I heard him gasp in awe. 
“It looks beautiful, Y/N. You did great.”  
Nestled in my backyard was a dark wooden deck, surrounded by plentiful greenery. Lining the perimeter of the shiny wooden deck were asymmetrical rocks, while above us hung strands of fairy lights that cast a sheer golden glow on the entire scene. The ambiance was not for Spencer specifically, but I was happy that he appreciated it nonetheless. 
“You ready?” 
He signaled yes by putting his thumb up and so it began.
“Alright, so slow dancing can be broken into four easy steps, but first, you gotta know how to hold your partner correctly.” 
Spencer and I took a step towards each other, and I could feel the nervous energy radiating off of him. I tried not to call attention to it, so I simply continued with my process. Outstretching my arms to form a T with my body, I guided him verbally. 
“So I’m the follower. And you’re the leader. Got it?” 
He nodded. 
“Leader puts their right hand under the follower's left armpit and cups their hand around the follower's shoulder blade.” 
He understood my instructions, and in the most awkward manner possible, he fumbled his way into the right position, albeit, not perfect. 
“Now, hold my right hand as high as my eye level without raising my shoulder.” 
Spencer was glaringly anxious, so I gave him a word of encouragement. “Hey, don’t be nervous. It’s just me, okay? And you’re doing great.”
I could see the nerves beginning to settle, translating into the conviction with which he took my hand, raising it at the perfect height. 
“Great. Just like that.” 
My praise brought out that smile in him that only ever came out on rare occasions. The kind where it’s brief, his teeth showing, a light chuckle escapes him, and he’s looking down as if he’s too shy to look at me. 
“Okay, step two is basic footwork. Leader starts with their left foot and takes a step to the left. And then your right foot is going to meet your left foot and tap. The count is one-two.” 
I watched as Spencer tried to process what I was saying. 
“Do you want me to demonstrate first? And then you follow?” 
He nodded rapidly as if saying yes wouldn’t be enough to communicate how much he needed me to lead. We broke apart so that I could turn my back towards him. I felt a cold draft blow under my dress as I spun on the ball of my feet, making my skirt flutter upwards majestically. 
I felt him watching. 
“Alright, so I’ll start and then you can catch on. It goes one-two.” 
Left foot step. Right foot tap. 
“Then three-four.” 
Left foot step. Right foot tap. 
“Then to the right this time. Five-six.” 
Right foot step. Left foot tap. 
“Seven-eight.” 
Right foot step. Left foot tap.
“And back again. One-two. Three-four. Five-six. Seven-eight.” 
My eight count continued until the click of my heels on the patio was joining by the sound of Spencer’s feet shuffling behind me. I knew if I turned around to check on him, it would only psych him out and make him more nervous, so I stayed facing forward so he wouldn’t feel that I was scrutinizing his technique. 
After a minute or so of following me, I spun back around, catching his lingering stare in the region of my hips. He tried to play it off and pretend he wasn’t, but I felt it. 
“You did really well tonight. I’m proud of you. I think that’s a good place to stop for today.” 
He thanked me with another hug, the kind where we nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck. 
God, I could feel him breathing on my shoulder. 
I tried not to not to let myself indulge in it, reasoning that this was just a way for one friend to thank another, but I couldn’t help myself when the hug lasted longer than it should’ve. I tightened my embrace around him, drawing him in closer, and shutting my eyes as if taking my sense of sight away would heighten my sense of touch and magnify this feeling I never wanted to end.
“You take care, okay?” I said, rubbing my hand up and down his back to signal we should pull away, a signal he understood.
I was the first to walk away, merely because of the worry that I might sooner cry if I had to stay under these lights with him a moment longer. 
I wasn’t sure I could do this again unless he was mine. Otherwise, I’d just be under the stars, dancing with the love of my life that I couldn’t have - feeling that feeling again, and not being able to act on it. 
Is this what happens when your person loves somebody else?
∙•○⦾☉☼☉⦾○•∙
I know I said I couldn’t do it, but I did it anyway. 
I guess that’s what love is. Doing things you don’t want to do because your care for the other person surpasses the discomfort. True love makes you do things like that, even if they aren’t in your best interest.
When he came over the next night, we danced again. Undoubtedly, he stumbled - even came close to falling - and yet, I fell in love all over again. After that, it got harder to separate dancing from my feelings. 
The next day, we had a case. He came to my hotel room and we danced in the dim golden light of the hotel room’s chandelier. God, it was so ambient and romantic, I think I fell even harder for him - if that was even possible. 
From then on, every time we were in the same place, he leapt at the opportunity to dance with me. 
“Guys, look what I learned last night! Come, Y/N! Come on, come on.” 
He waved me over eagerly with his hand, even helping me out of my seat in the round table just to speed up the process. All too excitedly, he assumed the leader’s position, and he danced me around the entire conference room in front of our coworkers. He spun me around the table, he dipped me in the doorway, he held me in his arms by the glass board. 
Can you really blame me for falling in love? 
“Wow, Y/N! I’m impressed. You really whipped him into shape.” JJ remarked with a clap. 
I hid behind a faux smile, but Spencer was too elated to recognize the deceit. He was like that now. Maybe love made him more of a fool, more naive and blissfully unaware, whereas love made me more devoted and cognizant. 
It went on like that for weeks. Practicing whenever and wherever we could. 
He’d pull me into the hotel lobby at midnight to dance - not even batting an eye at the looming presence of the receptionist. 
He’d ask me to come to his apartment and we’d dance in his living room or in the narrow hallway, just for fun. 
When we were at Rossi’s, he’d drag me to the kitchen, with Rossi’s gentle music playing in the background, and we’d sway by the fireplace sometimes. 
We danced once in the elevator when it got stuck. I never thought he’d be so fearless to do that, but he looked like he was genuinely enjoying himself, almost like he didn’t even notice we were stuck in an elevator. 
While we waited for the jet, we’d danced on the tarmac, looking like a moving bundle of clothes, our movements stifled by our thick peacoats, layers of clothes, and scarfs. 
After a dinner during cases, when we’d split a cab back to the hotel, he’d get me to dance on the sidewalk, even convincing me not to pay attention to the onlookers on the street, the honking cars, or the confused pedestrians. I was always embarrassed to be in the spotlight, but somehow with him, it was easy. It felt like it was just the two of us, dancing under that streetlight. 
I never understood why people wanted to live in a moment forever, but for the first time that night, I did. That was a moment I wanted to freeze in time. I wish I could’ve stayed there forever. There in that moment, it really felt like it was our own little world. It was easy to believe we’d end up together, and we were the ones getting married, and we were in love. 
But again, that was in that moment. In that singular, fleeting moment. And then life moved on, whether or not I was ready for it to. 
The day of rehearsals inevitably came, and I wasn’t originally supposed to be at the wedding rehearsal since I wasn’t part of the ceremony, but Spencer asked me to be there, deliberately neglecting to tell me that the reason he wanted me to come was so that I could fill in for Kayla, which had I known that, I would’ve certainly declined. 
When I walked in, the team was all there, sitting in the pews, with their heads turning to me where I was standing at the entrance of the church. It felt like an eerie nightmare that I was living out where I was Spencer’s bride walking down the aisle, and this was our wedding. I couldn’t tell you what was so nightmarish about it - probably because none of it felt right - but I was sick to my stomach when Spencer gestured for me to meet him at the altar. 
“What’s going on?” 
“Kayla had a last minute dress alteration in Norfolk and got stuck in traffic. She won’t make it for this rehearsal, but she’ll be there in time for the dinner rehearsal.” 
“So why am I here?” 
“I wanted to practice my vows on you, if that’s okay.” 
I gulped hard, trying to swallow the lump in my throat to open up my suddenly-closing airway. 
“Um, I don’t really know if -”
“Please, Y/N. I’m just nervous that I might mess up-”
How could I say no? True love makes you do crazy things, even if they aren’t in your best interest, right?
I reluctantly agreed. 
Spencer’s hands were trembling and I could see it by the way his notecards were shaking, even from the fact that he brought notecards alone, and that he didn’t already memorize his vows. I wanted to put my hands around his and hold them to settle his unsteadiness, but I knew that wasn’t my place. I figured my words would do a better job at not crossing a boundary that was already crossed.
“Hey,” I comfortingly whispered. “It’s just me, okay?” Calling back those words from the first time we danced months ago. “You don’t need those notecards. Just speak from the heart.”
And sure enough, his heart spoke. 
“When people used to tell me stories about what love felt like and what is what, they always said they fell in love with that person. Like it was sudden and all at once, but with you - I walked into love with you. With my eyes wide open, choosing to take each and every step along the way. I never believed in fate or destiny, but after I met you, I finally believed. I believed that we are only fated to do the things that we’d choose anyway. And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality. I’d find you and I’d choose you.”
My breath hitched as I got lost in his eyes and how they were looking right at me, completely unmindful of the way everyone around us saw how he spoke to me. 
I think he even got lost too, because what he said next, didn’t even seem to register in his mind before it came out of his mouth. 
“I love you . . . Y/N.” 
Gasps rang through the church, ricocheting off the high ceiling, and in that moment I knew, I knew he was going to kiss me. 
He lunged forward in the heat of the moment. Clearly not thinking straight, he held my face in his hands, and I swear to God, I could’ve kissed him back. 
I would’ve. 
“Spencer?” 
Every single head in the church turned toward the small voice, too distinct to misplace. 
“Kayla, wait!’ 
And there I stood, alone at the front of the altar, watching him run after her. 
∙•○⦾☉☼☉⦾○•∙
I sat by my phone the entire afternoon, waiting for someone - anyone - to update me. No one ever ended up texting or calling, so I figured the dinner rehearsal wasn’t cancelled. At least, in that case, my dress didn’t go to waste. 
After spending an ungodly amount of time curling my hair and putting on my makeup, even achieving a smoky eye look, I finally slipped on my navy-blue, satin, floor length dress, donning nude heels and a dainty gold necklace with a single diamond pendant that laid right on my sternum. 
It was a shame that this was a moment where I should’ve felt at my prettiest, and yet, I��d never felt so ugly. 
I was riddled with the guilt of knowing I would’ve kissed Spencer if Kayla hadn’t walked in. I felt even worse that I was so consumed by his speech that I didn’t even hear her come in. 
How long had she been standing there? Long enough to watch what I knew everyone else saw? These questions never left me. Not even when I pulled into the site of the dinner rehearsal. 
Clutching the front of my dress to walk without resistance, I came to the entrance, and opened the door to reveal . . . nothing.
Staff was removing chairs and tables. 
Waiters were collecting plates and utensils. 
And Spencer was standing in the very middle of the empty room, watching it all happen silently, like he was just the shell of a man. 
“Spencer!” I called out from the entrance, in no hurry to meet him at the middle of the room. He turned on his heels, with his hands sheepishly shoved into his pockets. 
“Gosh, I’m sorry, Y/N. I should’ve called to let you know it got cancelled, but um, Kayla broke my phone.”
“Well, it’s time you got a new phone anyway.” I chuckled, which thankfully earned a chuckle from him, too. 
“What happened, Spencer?” My voice was quiet, as if it was any decibel higher it would sound more like a scold than genuine concern. 
“She, um, she told me she needed some time to think. And I, I told her to come to the rehearsal dinner if she still wanted to get married and,” He mirthlessly chuckled. “Well, you already know.” His words were chosen carefully to deliberately avoid what he hadn’t yet come to terms with. 
She didn’t come. 
I wasn’t yet sure whether or not to console him or to berate him for what he almost did, but I chose the former. 
“I’m so sorry, Spence.” 
He looked up from the ground, still managing to avoid my gaze, by looking up at the ceiling, and pretty much everywhere my face wasn’t. 
“I understand if you want to leave right now. I just need to pay the owner and I’ll be out of here.” 
I shook my head instantly. “No, I’ll be right here. If you want me to be.” 
He bit his lip to stop a sob from escaping. “Yeah,” He nodded, cowering his head. “I’d like that a lot.” 
As soon as I saw his cheeks get red, I took it as a cue to approach him and hug him. He was grateful for my compassionate touch, immediately opening up his arms to hug me back. His embrace around me was needy and desperate, and it felt like he was clawing at my dress, acting out of anger that the fabric was stopping us from being that much closer. 
With his shoulder digging into the spot right underneath my chin, it was hard to utter the words, “You look really handsome, by the way.” I said, finally acknowledging his light beige suit and white button up shirt. 
“Thanks.” I heard him mumble into my shoulder. 
“Kayla doesn’t know what she’s missing.” 
To my surprise, he didn’t recoil, flinch, or so much as react to her name. Instead, he simply pulled away, wiping the moisture under his nose, and straightening out his suit. 
“We should . . . we should probably talk about what happened earlier, right?” 
I sighed and shook my head. “Not if you don’t want to. We can save that conversation for another day.”
He looked appreciative of my avoidance, but I knew he wanted to talk about it. 
“Hey, excuse me,” He stopped a staff member by clutching their arm gently. “Do you mind, actually? Leaving two seats behind.” 
The staff member complied, doing as he said, and leaving two chairs behind, setting one right across from the other. I took my seat, and Spencer took his.
“I probably shouldn’t have spoken from the heart, huh?” He joked, finally seeing the humor in his situation. 
“No, it was good that you did.”
“You think so?”
“Definitely. I think Kayla would’ve appreciated it.” All too quickly he responded with, “I wasn’t talking about Kayla.” 
I was talking about you, his somber eyes said. 
I looked away from his gaze immediately, trying to find a reprieve from the conversation that I was doing my best to avoid. 
“It was a really good speech. It sounded so natural. Like something you knew by heart.”
“Something I knew by heart?” He didn’t seem to understand what I meant. 
“Yeah, some things we just know by heart. Like the lyrics to our favorite song, or a recipe, how to dance,” We both chuckled at the reference. “Or . . . how to love.” 
“Do you think we know who to love by heart or do you think we make that choice ourselves?”
“I think it’s both. I think we can’t control the person we’re meant to love. That, by some miracle, we’re handed this person that complements us better than anyone else. But I also think it’s our choice on whether or not we pick them. Maybe we aren’t willing to stand the test of time and wait for our person, so we don’t pick them and settle for someone else. Or maybe we do pick them and we live out the rest of our lives together. I think that’s what makes love so special. It’s a person choosing you over and over again.” 
Isn’t that what we all want? To feel chosen?
“And what if we make the wrong decision? What if we’ve met who we’re supposed to love, but we chose to love another?” His eyes were searching within mine for the words that I wasn’t saying out loud. Out of fear that my eyes might expose me to Spencer, I looked away. 
“I think -”
Spencer cut me off. “Look at me.” 
My head didn’t move, but I shifted my gaze just as he wanted.
“When two people are meant to be, nothing and no one can end them. They may get lost a time or two on their journey, but true, real love will always conquer. Nothing can compete with them. Others can only attempt to fill a void. And eventually, the two will be reunited. That’s the beauty of true love; you always end up with the right person, at the right time, regardless of any other factor.” 
Quiet fell upon us two after I said my piece. My breathing slowed down and the knot in my stomach came undone. The lump in my throat disappeared. 
All my bodily barriers broke down. There were no more emotional walls up between the two of us anymore. I was completely vulnerable - nothing to hide me. Not even my eyelids could hide the windows of my soul. Spencer had already seen into them. 
He saw my soul, my secrets. 
“Dance with me.” He extended his hand in the air between us two. With no hesitation, I accepted his offer and followed his lead. He’d never danced so naturally before. Somehow, his stiffness had withered away. The thick tension that used to loom in the air above us two dissipated. Something new replaced the contents of the atmosphere. 
Love. 
Unbounded. 
Unrestrained. 
Unbridled. 
Limitless love. 
Spencer drew me in closer so my head could lay on his chest. Previously, I was looking at his face, but now the view was of our connected hands. My fingers were intertwined with his, and I didn’t even notice how his thumb was rubbing small circles on the back of my hand until I saw it with my own eyes. 
Had he always done that, but I couldn’t feel it until I saw it for myself? If so, what else had he been doing that I couldn’t feel?
“Loving you.” 
I removed my head from his shoulder after hearing him answer the question that I pondered silently, wondering if suddenly just acquired the superpower of telepathy.
“What?”
“Loving you. That’s all I know how to do by heart.” 
A wave of relief came over me when I realized he hadn’t read my mind, he was just simply adding to our conversation from before. 
“That’s not true,” I mirthlessly chuckled. “There’s lots you know how to do. You know thousands of chess permutations, you know how to geographically profile - you know how to dance now.” I countered playfully.
He shook his head. “I know how to do those things, but sometimes, none of it makes sense. I used to lose matches against Gideon, sometimes the comfort zone is inaccurate, and until today, I couldn’t dance very well,” He chortled. “But loving you. That always made sense. It never failed me or disappointed me and it’s so all-consuming that if I try to love anyone else - it just doesn’t make sense.”
Of all the words in my vocabulary, each of them were failing me. I was rendered speechless. Spencer cleared his throat and looked away for a moment, before finding the nerve to say it. 
“I choose you.” He proclaimed. 
So, I was right. 
There are some things we know by heart. 
Lyrics to our favorite song.
A recipe. 
How to dance . . . how to love.
And who to choose. 
“I choose you, too, Spencer.” 
. . . So to answer my question from before, is life really that magical? . . . 
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 
1K notes · View notes
manoessay · 3 years ago
Text
Yall like tv tropes?
I picked some of my favorites for c!quackity
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Tumblr media
[Image description below]
[First]
Knight Templar Big Brother: He cares about the more underprivileged members of the server, mainly the younger members, and has resorted to rather extreme measures to take revenge against those who have hurt them, most notably Dream. This includes forming the Butcher Army after Tommy's exile, and making plans to torture Dream for weeks on end after listening to Tommy vent to him about what happened to him in the prison, even if his personal interests do play a role in his actions in the latter incident. The latter incident is further implicated by the fact that a potato, the very same item Dream used to give Tommy a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown, is seen among the many torture implements Quackity has used on Dream during the montage at the beginning of the April 12th stream.
[Second]
Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: While he usually acts like a goofy Cloud Cuckoo Lander, he is also the only person on the server who has ever had Technoblade and Dream at his mercy.
Cruel and Unusual Death: Getting a pickaxe in the head to the point of post-respawning disability isn't exactly a good way to go out. In fact, it motivated him to hold a months-long grudge on Techno to the point of attempting to kill him in the same way, as if it were a twisted form of poetic justice.
[Third]
Desperately Craves Affection: Played for Drama, in a sense. Quackity's desire to belong has contributed to many of his character arcs, from his wish to become a part of L'Manburg before the Election Arc, to everything he did as part of the country, to arguably his various romantic exploits. It doesn't become prominent until the Las Nevadas arc... which isn't all that surprising, since the arc got kick-started by him being unintentionally abandoned by his loved ones. It eventually culminates with Quackity suppressing his own empathy to try to gain the respect and security he's wanted all this time.
[Fourth]
The First Cut Is the Deepest: In a weird, twisted way. After Schlatt drops dead at the end of Season 1, Quackity gets into a polyamorous relationship with Karl and Sapnap like nothing ever happened the very next day and gets along with them very well... except it is heavily implied later on that he steamrolled over his trauma and insecurities from his previous relationship, and when some miscommunication leads to accidental abandonment several months into the relationship, Q's unresolved relationship trauma gets triggered to the point that he starts jumping to conclusions, and let's just say that is when the shit hit the fan.
[Last]
Hidden Depths:
Quackity is usually very silly and light-hearted, often doing chaotic things just because he feels like it. However, when the situation calls for it, Quackity can be very serious, refusing to back down even against people like Dream if it means standing up for what he sees as right.
Quackity can also be surprisingly menacing when pissed off despite his lack of combat prowess. He has shown a very vengeful and dangerous side of his personality towards Dream and Technoblade that typically goes unseen because of his usual comical demeanor.
Other than having a surprisingly courageous side, Quackity also seems to be very good at keeping secrets. This is best exemplified with his prized pet skeleton horse, Ossium, whose existence Quackity keeps a secret and only trusts his location with those he really cares about. When Tommy and Tubbo descend down into Dream's Hall of Attachments in the Season 2 finale, it should be noted that there is no spot for Ossium (then named "boner") among the attachments Dream is planning to collect as blackmail material, implying that not even Dream knows about the horse's existence despite knowing about other people's most prized possessions.
37 notes · View notes