#have not put in for pto
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Does not feel real that I’m going to see atl again in just 29 days
#prob bc I’ve done nothing to prepare for it#haven’t booked a hotel#have not put in for pto#have not figured out what I’m doin with that extra ticket#dk if I’m flying or driving#🤭#I am just so fuckin BROKE#when I get paid next week we’ll start the process but Jesus fucking CHRIST I do not know how some of you bitches fund this stuff#no offense on the bitches ur not bitches#anyway I’ll figure it out it’s FINE im FINE#im depressed and poor and exhausted but im FINE#kalina talks
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i have been condemned to work on christmas fucking eve despite working an office job and literally none of our clients being here can u guys send asks so i can be distracted out of seething about it all day
#frankly my job as a whole has been pissing me off lately#ppl are putting in 'complaints' abt me that are genuinely literally baseless#like as in someone complained abt me being 'not attentive' and when i asked for more details it turned out the guy#assumed i was going to do a bad job w smth and preemptively complained that i fucked it up. even tho i didnt and my boss agrees i didnt#but my boss just hates getting complaints abt me at all so i feel like hes gonna keep 'having talks' with me as long as this guy complains#which he will bc he's already decided he doesnt like me. clearly#i got tomorrow off and then im back to work the next day. i get the 1st off but not new years eve#id take time off but i cant bc im not a full time employee on a technicality so i dont get the same pto rates as everyone else#or any employee benefits at all. and ive tried to ask to become full time and gotten a firm no#so fuck me i guess . and fuck my job i guess#im ANNOYED. talk to me about robots im begging you its the only way#juno.txt
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Don’t really know how to articulate how I’ve been feeling but I had to sit with it after a work event yesterday and I’m just constantly reminded that I have a hard time fitting into “work culture” and professionalism. To an extent I feel that way about bigger social circles in general but it is definitely more obvious when dealing with people at work. It’s the ADHD and my dysautonomia to a certain extent cause I get tired easily on top of it all. I know it but I’m so tired of hiding it but if I try to hide it I feel more exhausted
#like I tend to ramble and get lost mid sentence cause something distracted me to list a few#I get envy real bad to cause everyone is well traveled and go on multiple vacations a year#so when I put in my PTO cause I need a break everyone is like where you going?? I’m like nowhere bitch i have a chronic illness#kailey speaks
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this is as far as im getting tonight bc i think i really did catch another cold... idk if i want yugi to be a really short half elf or a gnome...
atem is a dwarf bc its my fav fantasy race & he fits it better than an elf imo
#my art#ygo#not totally putting these in the main tags#atem#my throat hurts man this fucking sucks... & i only have enough pto for 1 shift since the last time i got sick i got#SUPER sick & ended up draining all of it ToT
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Sunday doodles
#you ever just *puts feet on the wall*#or sit upside down off the side of your bed#i saw a post earlier this week I've been trying to find about fearing god#i read it but didn't have time to share my thoughts and i forgot to save it to my drafts so i lost it#anyway they talked about fearing god in service today#the overlap of related events like this scares me all the time#like... i know this stuff just happens and they had this sermon planned for months and it's coincidental#''but what if god is actually real and this is him trying to talk to me? what if he's trying to move me back on track?''#that's something i can't help but think#i'm starting to think I'll never know what is real and whether there's a god and if i really am setting myself up to burn in hell#i have to make a choice whether to leave my friends and hide who I am and go back to the church#or be myself and enjoy my time alive knowing what could be waiting for me when I go#I know that sounds extremely dramatic but it's something I think about a lot#it's one thing for someone to have never gotten to known God#but some say that the one unforgivable sin - the only thing that can keep you out of heaven forever...#...is knowing god and accepting him in your heart but then turning your back on him#I've done those rituals; been baptized and taken communion and said the famous prayer#if that unforgivable sin is true then I guess i've already made my choice; there really is no going back for me haha#damn right that god is scary lol#not tagging the game because I monolouged too much lmao#doodles#sunday doodles#depressing sunday doodle posts have arrived once again#dw im chilling today just lost in thought#was able to put in pto so i get the day to reflect on the very important things 21 year olds think about#things like ''what could've been'' and ''how do i want to draw my next fluffy boy''
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i am going to put in my resignation tomorrow i literally can’t keep working in that horrible pit of vipers without seeing the exit. im going to go insane.
#i am planning to put the date as 1st Jan so i can get the new years bonus lol#i’ll use my mandatory pto to cut the days i have to work though lmao#i have no idea what the hell ive done to them for them to hate me so much but im done being the bigger more professional person#laila.txt
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not included here is the part where our graphic designer asked for my feedback and then told me i have bad taste in design. so
ALT under cut
[ALT ID: A horizontal comic in 13 panels showing the progression of the artist's day. The first panel shows them in a blazer and smiling, thinking, "Yay, I'm going to have a nice lil' in-person work morning and then, be done with work, go to a cool show, and have all night free!" The next 4 panels show time progressing as the person goes through various video and in-person meetings, all labeled "Stressful meeting." The fifth panel shows them in a car while the driver looks back angrily and is labeled, "working in uber while driver gets mad that I changed the addressed (I did not)." Panels 6-8 show them in various positions working in a theatre lobby before the show, during the intermission, and during the show. Panels 9-12 are labeled 4:30 PM, 6 PM, and 7:30 PM and largely obscured by a final panel labeled 8 PM, in which the artist is sitting in front of multiple monitors and turning back with a frown to say "I was supposed to have the afternoon off."]
#like an hourly comic but in the bad corporate way#anyway the usher was nice#and when i at one point cast my hands up in despair/rage started laughing and was like ''is that a prayer?'' and then helped me sneak back#into the theatre to watch the rest of the show#and my one coworker did eventually rescue me from excel hell#but still. i put this PTO block on my calendar a week ago.#i didn't get to take monday off because of this shitshow client#and now i have FULLY made up/not actually gotten to take my 4 hours off today#and i am. Upset#my doodles
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congratulations to the referees i guess....
connecticut is the only one i want winning anything else so good luck against the minnesota whistle i really hope you can make it happen
#wnba lb#and it wasn't even like one moment#it was all the little “offensive fouls” that we got called on but were no calls otherwise#the reason i want the sun to win is 1 bc it really is mercury extension#and 2 they are the only team that i don't consider to be frauds#i actually hate all the other teams in the semi finals except for connecticut#holly rowe should have been the q1 interviewer#it's not fair that she was in ct#also that camera zooming in on dt after fouling out is don't do that to me please#im on pto tomorrow so i'm probably going to watch some games#some games where we win some dt 30 pieces#maybe euro games i've been putting off the gala fenner one for a while now#the game where she hits the half court buzzer beater against minnesota#maybe the 2021 playoffs vs the storm#maybe a game where she whoops san antonio#bc i <3 watching b*cky lose#or the first game in the bubble vs the aces#also shout out nate#bc everybody got playoff time even if it wasn't a lot#i will be curious what exit interviews look like#this would have been a different game if it were officiated better#but i think they also realized the screen and 3 and practiced defending it
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KNIFE DAY IMMINENT. SCALPEL TIME THIS WEEK. CHOP CHOP 🔪🔪🔪 TIME TO LOSE MY ABILITY TO RAISE MY ARMS ABOVE MY HEAD IN EXCHANGE FOR THE ABILITY TO WEAR A WHITE SHIRT IN PUBLIC. I AM TERRIFIED BUT ALSO I WILL BE ABLE TO GO TO WORK AND ATTEND A FUNCTION AFTERWARD WITHOUT GAMBLING WITH MY ONGOING ABILITY TO BREATHE WHICH SEEMS LIKE A FAIR THING TO SPEND A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF MY ENTIRE LIFE SAVINGS ON LET'S HOPE NOTHING GETS INFECTED OR FALLS OFF I'M NOT STRESSED OUT YOU'RE STRESSED OUT
#shut the fridge#anyway i just completed my last day of work before going on medical leave for top surgery#...and also leave to do job applications for places with better pay OR at least PTO and better parking#but shhhh that one is a secret#also let's be real the thing i'm most dreading is having to live off clear liquid for a day. my 'would rather die than eat a soup'#sensory aversion really getting put to the test in ways i'd prefer it didn't#i am aware this is not going to win me a lot of sympathy on the soup website#medical details
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so i had to call my doctor
so i can get a note
so i can submit it my job
so i can use my sick time
so i can take a couple mental health days
#any use of sick time over 16 hours requires a doctors note#which is so stupid#my coworker thinks we should get rid of personal sick vacation and other PTO#and just put it all in one big pool#which makes so much sense#like they’re (my job) gonna pay it regardless#why make all of us jump through so many hoops#also i was explaining to the nurse#like what i do and how burnout and fatigue are prevalent in this position#and she does ‘does your job have resources to help you deal with that someone to talk to?’#LMAO#i like laughed and said no but they should#also she right off the bat asked me if i was suicidal or was going to harm myself or others#i know the answer to that question lady#been answering it since i was 13#personal
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me trying to find somewhere warm that i can afford to go on holiday to: where is my roy kent with marbella tickets and a villa 😭
#the guilt i find around booking holidays is insane#we're once again a week out from PTO with nowhere to go :(#it's a nice problem to have that i even have pto to use i know so many people and places have it worse#i just feel immensely guilty if i spend like so much money to go lay by a pool even if i've worked non stop for ages#it just feels like it could be put to so much better use#like why do i feel bad buying a £4 pre cut fruit box imagine how many i could get if i didn't spend 500+ bucks on a hotel and 200+on flight#but then i also feel like i miss travelling and wandering around
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im SO close to being done w chapter 13, the only thing i need to finish writing is [redacted] which i am determined to include in this chapter before i post it
#cinder rambles#does ch 13 truly need to include [redacted] ? no#is it already long enough without it? oh yeah its 6k words already so it's going to end up being 8-9k by the end which is absurd#but whatever i am TIRED and I shouldn't even be awake but i plan to do everything in my power to finish this chapter tomorrow#so i can post it before i have to put on my clown makeup on friday#but then i can fully let myself out of socmed jail bc i'll almost be on PTO and will have time and energy again 🎉
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I think at this point I have to pretty much regard season 19 as the truest form of 'Crack Taken Seriously' which. . . huwa, I could do (but damn it would be a struggle...)
But only if you believe in the narrative *NOT* shown.
There's an After for these guys. But I think that's kind of up to us? (. . . Yeah I'm already writing the AFTER fic. Fuck me.) So unless some miracle happens and either the IP gets bought up and the crew gets to do some little shorts like what the Crwby is doing ... Or Geoff and Gus ever pull off what Alexander Siddig and Andrew Robinson did for the Star Trek DS9 Bashir/Garak community. I guess we just make our own canon at this point.
#rvb#red vs blue#rvb restoration spoilers#rvb spoilers#red vs blue spoilers#rvb grif#rvb simmons#rvb tucker#rvb washington#rvb carolina#rvb caboose#Alexander and Andrew hated that they never got to canonize Bashir and Garak in Ds9 so they've done multiple convention things for the OTP#but that was like back when companies were still off put by having Gay couples and shit so like WTF is the excuse here#I just dont get it#RWBY got Bumblebee#why not just give RvB Grimmons ffs#Could have been a single line. Like Simmons saying something like taking a Vacation for a week or I'll see how much PTO I have saved#then its like a joke cause he only has like a day or two saved cause Grif took most of them from before so he's like#well guess I'll have to save some more for a vaca to earth to be worth it - you know - make it *Sound* like a chore#but its something to WORK TOWARDS#fuck... *sighs* I need to eat this Sushi. Do it for Simmons#Im so physically - mentally and emotionally drained right now my dudes#Im still gonna figure out how to inject this AFTER 15-17 because YES I LIKED 15-17 DAMNIT#We dont talk about Zero oh no no no
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Also hi guys I'm not dead I just went on vacation
#i still have so many pics/videos to post but i am Worn out#i have work tonight which i Shouldnt have because i put in for pto and only 4/5 days got approved so im Mad#and then tomorrow night i have a live event im going to#and Then i have a day off on thursday... so i can get so much sleep#zen texts
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decided im just gonna keep being shithead at my regular job until they fire me bc the money id make on unemployment would be sustainable for me to live off of for a couple months while i invest more time into being at the shop
#my boss put in ALL of my pto for the past 3 weeks#to round up my hours to 40 each week AFTER he cut my hours against my will#so i no longer have the option to call out sick or leave early for appointments until i accrue more pto#which he will also probably put in without asking me#also they are STILL asking me to do shit that is not my job!!! bc nobody else will do it!!!!#next time the answer is no and if they dont like it they can fire me
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*motions to a pillow fort* for the soul
-aggressive self-care anon
I experienced aggresses self-care IRL and here
#cozy ask#Lets just say.#a certain someone had a bit of a mental collapse at work yesterday and 👉👈#Well now I’ve been put on a mandatory vacation#(im still being paid tho. theres an upside i guess to having to much PTO)
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