#have i mentiones that? i think i have. this candy goes to ballet classes and my roy route candy does rollerskating

[idk-i-want-mcl-content]

also take this

[marvelslut16]

Inseparable

Pairing: Reggie Mantle x reader

Synopsis: Reader and Reggie have been best friends since they were toddlers, nothing tearing them apart until Veronica their Junior year. This follows the rise and downfall of their friendship. Can they mend their friendship and be back to what they once were, will they be too hurt to fix their broken hearts, or will they finally admit their feelings for one another?

Word count: 2.6K+ (my hand slipped)

Warnings: Mr. Honey; he’s the worst villain to ever enter Riverdale, you can’t change my mind. Mentions of child abuse, nothing graphic past the mention of a black eye. Some angst. Spoilers for s4e4 technically, I still can’t believe what Mr. Honey did. 

A/N: I have like 11 requests I still have to get to, yikes. I swear I’ll do them soon, but inspiration hit and I ended up writing this. there isn’t enough Reggie love on Tumblr, plus I have a tiny crush on Charles Melton, so writing this was a win win. let me know what you think, and if I should write more for Riverdale. Veggie is better than Varchie (don’t come for me), but I still think Reggie deserves better than Ronnie. 

Growing up in a small town like Riverdale there weren’t too many kids to become friends with, but when you met Reggie Mantle on your first day of preschool you knew he would be your best friend for life. Archie was showing off on the playground by walking up the slide when the teacher wasn’t looking. The problem then being that Archie's foot slipped right as you were walking passed the bottom of the slide, and he slid down and ended up knocking you on the ground. You started to cry because he scraped your arm bad enough that it started to bleed. Reggie, whom you shared a table with in class, watched from the sidelines as your teacher helped you up and took you to the nurse, he got his revenge during arts and crafts later that day- ‘accidentally’ spilling red paint all over the front of Archie’s khaki pants. When Reggie made it to the table you quietly thanked him and shared your paint with him since the teacher said he couldn’t have new paint as a lesson to be more careful next time. 

As the years went on, yours and Reggie’s friendship only grew until you were inseparable; you two went on family vacations together, you went to every single one of his junior bulldog football games from the ages of eight to twelve, he went to your ballet recitals when you took classes in grade school even bringing you roses. Reggie was your rock at your grandmother’s funeral, you helped him pass his geometry class Sophomore year so he could stay on the football team, and you were the only person that he opened up to about his father’s abuse- having witnessed it with your own eyes a handful of times. 

Your mom was convinced you and Reggie would fall in love and get married one day, and your father was convinced your friendship would crumble and ultimately go down in a blazing fire. Going into your senior year you hate to admit that your father was right, his words bouncing around in your skull every time your brain shut off for longer than two seconds. Veronica Lodge moved to town Sophomore year, enticing every boy within a fifty mile radius with her upper East side charm. Reggie didn’t fall for Veronica right away, he fell for her junior year when he was helping her with La Bonne Nuit. And as cliche as it is, that’s when you realized you were in love with him, you had been for a while. The small nagging voice in the back of your head told you that it had been since that day in preschool. 

But you would grin and bear the pain, the soul crushing pain, if it meant that Reggie would still be in your life. And you did, for a while at least; until Reggie stopped calling and texting you back, until he stopped begging you to come to his games, until he stopped sneaking into your room every friday night after a game to go over the play footage where you would help him come up with new plays and tweaks to the old ones, until he started ignoring you in the halls in favor of making out with Veronica. You never hated the girl, she had been nothing but nice to you anytime you would interact, but God, you just wished she would disappear and give you your Reggie back. 

You resented Veronica, leading your interactions with the girl to be more tense and your answers clipped, and that was what led to the blazing fire your father talked about. Reggie offered you a ride home one day after school, and of course you jumped at the opportunity to spend time with him again. Instead of going to pops and talking like you thought you would, the two of you got into your biggest, and last, fight ever. 

It started with Reggie asking why you hated Veronica, where you defended yourself and swore that you didn’t. But he wouldn’t believe a word that came out of your mouth, continuing to press you as you two kept driving. The closer you got to the edge of town the worse the fighting got, your voice raising along with his. You accuse him of abandoning his friends, abandoning you, to be with Veronica all the time. He gets mad that you don’t understand why he’s with her all the time, claiming that you couldn’t understand not when you’ve never had a boyfriend. Something that he’s the reason for, since he scared all of the guys even remotely interested in you away with just one piercing glare or one lowly growled threat. 

The comment picking on your relationship status, or lack thereof, is the straw that broke the camel's back. You let loose just as you pass the sign thanking you for visiting Riverdale, the town with pep. Pep your ass, the small town is full of death and endless heartache wherever you look. You rip into Reggie, letting the hurt take over as you scream and scream at him-calling him a terrible friend. He finally screams back, claiming that you’re worse because you hate his girlfriend. He has to pull his precious car over, the car you helped him pick out when he turned sixteen, because he started swerving when you two got into a screaming match. 

The interaction ends with you getting out of the car on the side of the road leading into Greendale, slamming the car door behind you, knowing that he’ll get mad with how aggressive you’re being with his baby, his Bella. He does a sharp U-turn driving beside you, trying to coax you into getting back in the car with him. But you can’t do that, you can’t face him right now. So as you watch the taillights of the gun metal grey Chevelle disappear around the curve in the road you finally let the tears fall down your face, they stream harder and faster the closer you get to reentering the town with pep. 

Reggie had dropped your backpack off at your house when he got back into town, so it was sitting there waiting for you in your living room alongside your worried mother. You cried into her arms that night for hours, until you were all cried out, not caring that you look like a big baby. You had just lost Reggie, you had just lost your everything. You hadn’t talked to him since that day in the middle of your junior year, even after him and Veronica broke up and she went back to Archie like always. The days of your senior year seemed to fly by, October coming in what felt like mere days as opposed to months, and your last Halloween in Riverdale is today. 

You and Reggie would always wear matching costumes to trick or treat, and school just for fun as you got older, this always prompted your classmates to wonder if you two were finally dating. But that wouldn’t be happening this year, for the first time ever. You had even dressed up and sat on his porch in costume when you were six, handing out candy to the other kids so you could talk to Reggie, who was in costume too, through the window because he was sick with a 102.2 degree fever. You were dressed as Kim and Ron that year, his mom had even crocheted him a little Rufus to stick in his pocket. You couldn’t wait to get out of this town, away from Reggie, away from the places where you would see ghosts of your younger selves everywhere you went. 

Kevin calls you freaking out after he and Reggie got caught tp’ing Mr. Honey’s office. Kevin caved after Mr. Honey threatened to make sure he wouldn’t get into NYU if he didn’t. Kevin felt guilty for his actions, and even though you hadn’t talked to Reggie in close to a year you were worried about him. Worried what his dad might do to him when he hears he got in trouble at school again, and worried what the unhinged Mr. Honey might do to him himself. 

You don’t hear anything from Reggie the next day, not that you really expect to. You more-so hope he’ll call you, but you know what they say about hope- it breeds eternal misery. The day goes by at a snail's pace as you stare at your phone throughout the entirety of said day. You finally curl in on yourself and go to sleep after midnight, however sleep doesn’t stay for long. You’re awoken around two in the morning from your phone’s incessant ringing, in your dazed stupor you don’t realize it’s Reggie’s special ringtone- the bulldog cheer from Kim Possible. 

“Hello?” you ask hoarsely, making sure to stay quiet so your parents won’t hear. 

“(Y/N/N), can you talk?” your startled to hear Reggie’s voice on the other line. It sounds scratchy, like he was recently in a screaming match with someone. You open your eyes for the first time, finally accepting that you won’t be able to just roll over and slip back into your dreams. You glance at the alarm clock on your bedside table and your eyes widen at the time.

“It’s like two in the morning Reg,” you sigh, hoping he’ll wait till morning. 

“Can I come over?” Reggie’s pleading now.

“Later, we can go to Pop’s for lunch or something,” you yawn loudly into the phone in protest. 

“I’m already here,” before you can respond the line goes dead.

You can hear quiet, almost not there, footsteps outside your window as Reggie expertly navigates his way through the flowers and bushes outside your window. He taps on the window three times in quick succession, your old signal for when he would sneak over letting you know it was him at your window. You reluctantly get out of your warm cozy bed, stumbling to the window to open it for your former best friend. 

Your plans for just slipping back into bed anf hopefully nodding off while he talks go out the window as you come face to face with Reggie’s swollen face. He has a split lip and a black eye, you’re sure he has belt marks on his back too. You don't care that Reggie is climbing through the window a little too loudly, your sole focus now on fixing him up. Once he’s in the room you sneak to the kitchen and quietly grab an ice pack, stopping in the bathroom to grab rubbing alcohol, cotton balls, and ibuprofen.  

You hand him the pain reliever and your bottle of water, it’s not the first time you’ve shared, as soon as you shut your bedroom door behind you. He swallows the pills down with ease, and you both settle on your bed, a sad depressing routine. You don’t say anything as you clean his split lip, he winces slightly when the alcohol drenched cotton ball makes contact with his open wound. 

“Mr. Honey caught Kevin and I last night,” Reggie admits quietly. 

“I heard, Kevin told me,” you murmur unsure of where this conversation is headed, so you continue to dab at his lip.

“Mr Honey, he said that no one takes me seriously, no one since you. He said that he heard around school that I made my ‘persona’ bigger, became more of a prankster, after I lost you. He-he knew about my dad, (Y/N),” Reggie’s voice cracks, you can’t imagine what he must be feeling right now. “Said people at school are laughing at me, worst of all, you’re laughing at me.”

“Oh sweetie, no!” you're quick to jump in and defend. “I would never laugh at you, you know that. Never. No one else is either, he was just saying that to get a rise out of you.” Your arm moves without your permission, you push a strand of black hair out of his eyes before caressing his cheek softly. 

“He tp’d my car, that I get. That was actually funny,” Reggie hisses, you aren’t sure if it’s because you’re lightly pressing the ice pack to his shiner or because of what he’s about to say next. “But he broke Bella’s windshield, shattered her passenger side window, and busted her left headlight.” 

“I’ll kill him!” you jump up from your spot on your bed, no longer caring if you wake your parents. Reggie holds the ice pack to his eye with his right hand, cautiously reaching for your hands with his left. You calm down when his fingers intertwine with yours, sinking back down next to him. 

“I avoided going home all day, but when I did and my dad saw the car,” Reggie takes in a shaky breath, and you rub the back of his hand with your thumb. “He did, well he did this.” He uses your joined hands to gesture towards his face. 

You don’t say anything, instead just pulling him in for a hug. Reggie tenses at first before melting into your warm embrace. You pull him down onto the bed with you so you're laying side by side, he rests his head on your chest as you tuck the two of you in. 

“I know we haven’t talked in a while,” you let out dissatisfied hum as you card your fingers soothingly through his hair. “But you're the only person I wanted to see, the only person I ever want to see. It’s been torture without you (Y/N).”

“It doesn’t seem like it,” you say under your breath, but he hears you clearly with his ear pressed to your chest. 

“I was an idiot, I let my ego keep me from you,” he moves his head to look up at you, his brown eyes shine with sincerity. 

“Don’t do this right now Reggie,: your eyes fill with tears, “Don’t do or say anything you don’t mean just to make me feel better.”

Reggie moves his right arm from around your waist to brush away a stray tear that slipped out of your eye. He moves his thumb down your cheek to your lips, tracing them with the pad of his thumb. Reggie lightly tugs down on your lower lip causing you to uncage it from your teeth, when did you even bite it in the first place? 

“I love you (Y/N), I always have,” he looks away from your mouth so he can stare into your eyes. “And I think you have too.”

“I have, I love you so much Reggie,” he pulls your face down to meet him. The kiss is searing, and a little wet due to the tears leaking out of both of your eyes, but it’s perfect. You pull back when you get the slightly tangy taste of blood on your tongue. You immediately fuss over Reggie’s lip, said lip splitting again during the makeout. Reggie pulls you back down onto the bed and into his arms after you’ve dabbed at his lip with the cotton ball again. 

“How can I make it up to you?” his eyes shine with unshed tears as he stares lovingly at your face, almost like he’s mesmerized by you. “Not just tonight, but leaving you for Ronnie so I could try to get over you, and for every other night you’ve taken care of me.”

“Just never leave me again,” you whimper, which is cut off when he kisses you again. 

“Never,” Reggie’s never been more serious about anything in his life. 

You cuddle up to Reggie’s chest, his warmth and scent quickly lulling you into  a deep comforting sleep. You don’t care that he should sneak out the window and go home, or that your mom will find you two cuddled up in your twisted sheets when she comes to check on you at ten. All you care about is Reggie being safe, in your arms, and finally having him back in your life-but with one vast improvement to your relationship.

Permenent tags: @crimson-knuckled-queen​ @rexorangecouny @mrs-malfoy-always​

[chaoticoconut]

BARBARA GORDON HEADCANONS THAT MAKE ME SWOON!!

(and so can you!! alfkvoekfndnej does anyone get that reference anyhoo)

I couldn't NOT post these idk I was showering and then I was hit with a mf tornado of hcs about my favorite gal and I figured I'd share :))))

Barbara and Tim are actually the most potty mouthed members of the batfam, excluding Kate. Jason is close, but only when he's upset (which probably seems trivial bc he's yk always upset but I hc him a pretty chill if not bitter and snarky guy). Tim cusses more when he's tired, but he consciously tries to bite his tongue. Barbara has no remorse and cusses very casually and openly, because she sees no point in abstaining. It releases endorphins guys. Duh. She uses those ridiculous "holy heck Batman!" lines as Batgirl unless she's genuinely thrown off her game. She limits her cussing a lot as Oracle bc she's not one to offend people, and you never know. It's most definitely a civilian thing for her, and anyone who knows Babs knows she's a fucking sailor.

Her favorite food of all time is pizza. Her dream house has a brick pizza oven. She has a food blog with every pizzeria in the greater Gotham area ranked from best to worst. Her favorite of all time is the Gotham Pizza Garden, which is located in Old Gotham near the police station. Technically it's the second best pizza in Gotham, second to Gargoyle Pie Company, which is renowned for being the epitome of Gotham-style pizza and is always busy. She has a lot of memories of GPG though, and loves both pies. GPG also has an incredible Chicago style pizza, which is her second favorite type of pizza. She does however believe Gotham style is superior and thinks less of Dick for disagreeing (@blanddcheadcanons tie-in heyo!!) Very few things make Babs as happy as gourmet pizza.

She grew up watching Teenage Mutant Turtles, Powerpuff Girls, and Star Trek. They all hold a very special place in her heart. There is totally a connection between her love of pizza and TMNT and turtles and mixed martial arts. She once got the boys to go as the turtles for Halloween, with her crushing it as April.

Speaking of turtles, she's had a pet turtle named after icon Nichelle Nichols since high school. Yes, she does call her Shelly. Yes it's cliche. No she does not care. She also has a calico cat named Cornflake that Dick gave her as a birthday present. She doesn't have pet dogs until she and Dick finally settle down. She never had them growing up because her father is allergic and her mother was a devout cat lady. She's not really sure why she never got any on her own, she's just more familiar with cats. After her mom passed away, she did get a bunch of bunnies whom she and JJ named after their favorite horror movie monsters and serial killers.

She loves slasher flicks. It's a family thing. JJ was creepy about it, Jim loves the thrill, Babs loves the mythos, and her mom was never really afraid of anything and found them funny.

She inherited her mother's love for baking. She left her her cookbook, which contains an amazing mixed berry pie recipe. Her pie baking abilities rival Alfred's. She even begins to branch out with her recipes and experiment with all sorts of fillings and even cake-pies (fanfic au tie-in heyo). Everybody loves a Barbara baked good. She knows everyone's faves and literally crushes holiday season. Dick is all about the og mixed berry pie, whereas Jay, who loves lemon everything (hc I saw awhile ago that I just love) prefers either a lemon meringue or a raspberry lemon. Tim is all about strawberry open face while Steph prefers cherry cheesecake or pecan pie. Cass and Bruce both love her cinnamon apple pie. Duke loves just about anything she bakes, but especially her more adventurous, contest winning pies like kiwi-blueberry-black cherry and other originals. Kate will die for Babs' cherry pie. Damian prefers blackberry or mixed like Dick. Alfred is a sweet potato pie kind of guy himself. There's a farmer's market in Blüdhaven her mother went with her to when she was a kid that Barbara still goes to get get all the fresh fruit.

Even better than Barbara or Alfred baking alone is them baking together. Roy Harper is also a pretty good baker. They all trade recipes with Martha Kent. M'gann brings wine to the manor and assembles them all for fun days of baking.

She's also totally the type of gal who made a shit ton of cupcakes when she ran for class prez and stayed I from Batgirl duties to finish them. Just saying.

She picks baking back up as Oracle but several hero emergencies lead her to burn perfectly good desserts.

She and Roy will always have puppy-love crushes on one another and be totally oblivious. They both did ballet as kids, love baking, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, shameless empty flirting, and tech. They're completely platonic and really great lifelong friends. They met at a Wayne gala as kids.

As if she wasn't already talented enough, she's completely ambidextrous. I'm jealous. Dick and Wally are left handed. Bruce is similarly ambi. Selina's a leftie. Maybe Alfred too.

She likes to enter contests and win for fun. She's a monster. Everything from baking to video games to weight lifting, she loves showing people up.

Dick, Babs, and Tim all snore atrociously loud. The batfam hates it. She's the quietest out of them all, but she's also a blanket hog. And a major cuddler.

Her favorite colors are grey and green. Purple does deserve an honorable mention however. Her apartment is a fair mix of green and grey decor and covered in books.

She was a total ballerina growing up, just like her mom wanted. That was until she discovered how kick ass martial arts were, and she got a little too jacked to continue with ballet as a formidable career option. Her next best option is becoming a cop at this point, but her father believes that not only would it be far too dangerous but a waste of her skills (like ballet cough cough). This upsets her so much she goes off and invents Batgirl, complete with a stole grappling gun from evidence.

In college she works as a barista and excels at it. Her dream is to open up a cafe/bakery/flower shop with Dinah some day. She wants to call her half Bean Me Up Scotty! (another hc I saw and fell in love with)

Babs is also a pretty good cook being that she became the family chef at a young age (Jim can barbeque and make spaghetti. That's literally it. Maybe some breakfast). Cooking lessons from Alfred certainly helped.

Her personality is so versatile. She can get along with pretty much anyone due to her wide range of interests and skills which is what makes Oracle so bad ass. She's also a Libra so she adapts fairly easily to any group without seeming fake.

She has a podcast where she rants about tech and feminism and politics and plays video games

She SO took Latin in high school and dominated competitions. She loves classical studies and is a dork for Greek and Roman mythology as well as linguistics. She has a pretty good grasp on all of the romance languages, and learns languages fairly quickly.

She always smells like mint and books. She has killer mint shampoo and conditioner, which is a Kean family thing (they just love the scent). She always smells refreshing.

She likes coffee but prefers tea always. She's like Ramona Flowers with tea

Her music taste is total 90s nostalgia (grunge, boybands, air pop, ska, hip hop) meets far too indie 4 u. Yes she's pretentious. Yes she loves chick rock and *NSYNC and Britney and Kurt Cobain and Biggie and deal with it. She also loves shit you've never even heard of. Was totally into the Gotham punk scene as a teen.

She collects vinyl and books and horror flicks ugh hipster queen

She loves spicy food and Dick cannot stand it. They both like sour candy though

If your Barbara Gordon didn't graduate high school at 16 she doesn't have rights

She was all of the Robin's first crush. Duh. Tim will always think she's the gold standard of women. He likes that she usually sticks up for him. He doesn't mind being seen as her male equivalent lmao

At some point Jay and Babs are roommates and it's literally the best I'll talk abt that later

Her type is guys with dark hair or blonde gals.

[martysmcshortshorts]

CHAPTER THREE

‘Everything!

Everything goes wrong.

Do you smell smoke?

Yup…That’s definitely smoke.’

“I’m sorry I mentioned the spider.” Sam whispers to me after we’d made a few stops and it was clear the twins weren’t moving.

“It’s cool. Just don’t bring it up anymore.” I say to her. Then I put my headphones in my ears in hopes to ignore her. It worked. Why did you even tell her. You know she can’t keep her mouth closed. I roll my eyes at my thoughts.

Sam is the sweetest, most caring, craziest, most daring person I know. She’s super smart too. Like weirdly smart. She knows the most random information about the most random things. She lives by the saying ‘You can do whatever you put your mind to.’ ,and as I might have mentioned her mind is wild. We’ve been best friends since I moved to New Orleans ten years ago. We met at the city park after my first week in Ms. F’s class. The anniversary of our meeting is a week away actually.

Hmm, 10 years. I shake my head, close my eyes, and chuckle a little as I think about our first encounter.

—

“Hey babygirl. How was your day today?” Mom asked me hopeful,as I opened the car door. She’d been greeting me like this for the past week just hoping that I’d give her a new answer. I really wanted to but I couldn’t.

“This class sucks. I wanna go back home.” I whined, getting into the car.

“Well, we have to run a few errands and then we’ll go home and do whatever you want to. How does that sound?” She asked while buckling me in.

“That’s not the home I meant.”I mumble under my breath.

“We’ve already talked about that Yazzy.” My mom said dismissively with a sad tone. I knew it hurt her when I would say that, but it was the truth. Every time I brought up our old home she would get this far away look in her eyes, like she was remembering something horrible, but it couldn’t be about our home because it was perfect and we were happy there.

“How about we skip the errands and go do something fun.” She said putting the car in drive.

“This class is supposed to be my something fun.” I said back with a pouted lip.

“Who said that?” she asked appalled.

“Um,” I started and thought about the answer, “Nobody I guess. I guess I just thought that it would be.”

“And one day maybe it will be, but you’re just starting babygirl. You’ve only been at it for a week.” She tells me reassuringly. I took a minute and thought about what she said. Mom always had a way of calming me down and focusing me on the bigger picture, and this time it would’ve worked, but there was still one problem.

“Ms. Florence is so mean tho mom.” I blurted out. Then my mom gave me a look as if she’d just solved a mystery.

“So thats what it is?”, she asked with a chuckle, “You don’t like Mrs. Florence.”

“It’s Ms. Florence not Mrs. she isn’t married.”, I snapped back. Mom laughed.

“So what does this Ms. Florence do that makes my daughter think she can snap at me?” She asked with laughter in her tone. I wasn’t a fool tho. I knew that question was a warning.

“I’m sorry mom.”, I apologized, “she’s just so mean. Always telling me what to do, how to do it, when to do it, and then if I don’t do it right she gives me this face like she knew I would mess up.”

“Babygirl, she’s your ballet instructor. That’s how it goes. She just wants you to be the best that you can.”

“Mom I’ve only been here a week. She should not be pushing me this hard.” I said defensively.

“Maybe you have to catch up to the rest of the class.” She suggested.

“I’m already better than my whole group.” I bragged.

“Well maybe she’s pushing you like that because she sees your the best and shes trying to help you stay that way.” She responded, boosting my confidence.

“Maybe.” I mumble with a grin.

“So you down for some fun?” She asked me as she parked the car. I looked up at the building in front of me. My eyes beamed.

“Ice cream!” I exclaimed, “but its too cold for ice cream.”

“It is?”, mom asked with confusion on her face, “Well if Captain Yazzy says its too cold I guess we’ll have to find something else.” She said as she put the car into reverse.

“NO!”, I yelled as I grabbed her arm. Then I let her go and changed my tone. “I would love some ice cream.”

“That’s what I thought.” Mom said back with a smile. As we got out of the car I thought about what mom said about Ms. F. Maybe she was just trying to help me be my best. That didn’t mean that liked her now or anything, but maybe I wouldn’t give up so fast.

“So how’s work?” I asked once we’d sat down with our treats.

“It’s… going.” She said then laughed it off.

“Sounds like you needed this ice cream date too.” I said taking a bite of my fudge sundae.

“Well I have a milkshake and I’m not sure that what you got going on over there,” she said motioning to my fudge sundae that looked more like a mountain of candy, “ is still considered ice cream, but you are correct. I did need this.” The tone that she had made me thank god I wasn’t a nurse. They must’ve had it pretty bad.

“What’s next on the list of fun?” I asked digging through my mountain.

“Well we haven’t been to a park since we moved here, so I was thinking we do that. How does that sound?”

“Yeah that’s cool.” I said back a little distracted.

“Good. The city park isn’t too far from here.”

We finished up our treats, headed out of the ice cream shop and to the park. We was there for 20 minutes before I got bored.

“Can we go?” I walked up to mom whining.

“Already?” She asked looking up from a book.

“No one’s here. This is boring.”

“Fine. They have a sculpture garden here that I want to check out. Come on.” She said standing up and leading the way.

“Ugh…More walking.” I mumble as I drag behind her.

“I’ve never seen a ballerina be so lazy.” Mom said in front of me.

“You’ve never seen a ballerina.” I mumble under my breath.

“I heard that. “ she said looking over her shoulder.

“You hear everything. I’m not surprised.” I say back. We stare each other down, hands on hips, and necks turned. This was how we ‘argued’, silently. As you might think mom always won, but this time I was gonna change that. I saw mom’s eye twitch a little and thought ‘I got her now’.

“Hahahahaha.” Cut the game short.

“Who the hell was that?” Mom asked looking around.

“You guys are hilarious.” Came from behind mom. She turned around startled, making sure to cover me in the process.

“And where did you come from?” Mom asked once she gained her composure.

“Well mom told me that I come from someone who doesn’t know what taking care of responsibilities is.” The little girl that looked like a rag doll shrugged.

“I hear that.” Mom mumbled.

“Hi, I’m Sam.” She said reaching around mom and introducing herself to me. I looked up at mom before accepting her hand. She nodded as if it was alright.

“Hi, I’m Yasmine.” I said back shyly.

“Would it be ok if Yasmine and I played together?” Sam asked mom.

“Oh I’m sorry. Yazzy’s tired so we’re leavin-” Mom started to tell the girl.

“No I’m not.” I interrupted. Mom looked at me with a side eye.

“You sure?” She asked.

“Yes ma’am.”, I say grabbing Sam’s hand, “Go enjoy your sculpture thing.”

“Yeah. Right.”, Mom said back, following us, “We’re only staying for a little bit.” She yelled out.

We raced back to playground.

“Where’s your mom?” I heard mom shout. We ignored her.

“So how old are you?” Sam asked me.

“7. “ I answered, while climbing up the monkey bars.

“Me too.” She said watching me go up.

“What school do you go to?”

“I’m home schooled.” She said quickly.

“That’s so cool.” I said jumping down.

“I guess.” She shrugged. We raced to the swings.

“I go to some stupid private school.”, I said climbing on, “They make us where these stupid skirts and everything.” I complained, rolling my eyes.

“Is this it?” She asked pointing at my tutu. I looked at her confused.

“Um no. This is a tutu. You know? What ballerinas wear.” I explained.

“Is that what you are?”

“I will be.” I said confidently.

“Cool.” Sam said back. We played in silence for the rest of the time, racing and chasing each other through the playground.

“Yazzy!”, Mom yelled out as I was about to go down the slide, “Time to go.” I roll my eyes.

“Will you be here tomorrow?” I looked back at Sam and asked.

“Definitely.”, she said back smiling, “This is like a second home to me.”

“Cool.” I said. I slid downtown slide and then ran to mom. Once I reached her I turned back to wave bye to Sam, but she wasn’t by the slide anymore. Actually she as nowhere to be seen.

“What’s wrong?” Mom asked me grabbing my hand.

“Nothing.” I said sadly as we made it back to the car.

—

What the hell was that? I asked myself as a bump jolted me out of my daydream. I look over at Sam to see if she noticed but her head is against the window and she’s knocked out. Typical. I raise up to look to the front bus. The driver’s driving, passengers passengering, just trying to make it through 6 o’clock traffic. Seems normal.

Must’ve been a pothole. I thought to myself sitting back in my seat, closing my eyes.

‘Bump. Bumpity-bump-bump.’ I’m shaken by the bus again. I open my eyes to see the scenery is the same. What the fuck? I look to my left and notice the twins seem confused too.

I take out my headphones, “Did y’all feel that?” I ask whispering.

“No.” Envy answers quickly. I don’t believe her. Eddy whispers something in her ear and then gives her a serious look. “No way.” Envy mumbles back in disgust.

“Fine. Whatever.” Eddy mumbles back and flips back in her seat.

What is with those two? I thought to myself. Just then Sam jumps up out of her sleep.

“Do you smell that?” She ask startled.

I sniff the air. “Um. No. What is it?”

She stands and sniff the air harder.

“What’s her problem?” Eddy ask.

“Mind your business.” I shoot at her defensively. I stand and grab Sam by the shoulders. “What’s going on?”

“Y’all need to sit down!” The driver yelled from the front.

“You need to stop the bus.” Sam shouts back, “I smell smoke.”

I sniff the air again.

“I don’t smell anything Sam.” I whisper to her.

She looks at me wide eyed, “Yaz.”, she says urgently, “The bus is on fire.”

Did everyone go crazy today? I look at her confused, as did the rest of the passengers. Sam brush pass me into the middle of the isle.

“I need everyone to get off the bus.” She shouts. The passengers behind us start moving towards the front, smacking their teeth, pushing and bumping her in the process.

“Told you she was cuckoo.” I hear Eddy whisper to Envy as they were moving up. I grab my bag and walk towards Sam cautiously. She was seriously freaking me out.

“Sam I don’t smell any—“ I start to say, then ‘BOOM!!’. The bus engine explodes.

[aleatorys]

im lit the worst at these but hi everyone i’m amber ( they / them ) and i'm a sleepy uni student who doesn't know what they're doing w their life. the coolest thing abt me is that i saw fx one time in london and almost fainted because victoria looked in my direction for a millisecond and thus started my addiction to groups that r banished to sm entertainment’s dungeon. my latest addition 2 my gang of oc’s is junehyun who goes by he / them pronouns, my latest soft but hard bab who i adore w my whole heart and hope you do too. if you’re up for plotting feel free to like this, otherwise you can hmu on disc*rd which is just as gr8  - RUDELOVE#5604.  anyways lesss go

tw: abortion mention, and anxiety disorder !

- as aforementioned this is junehyun but please call him june for everyone's sakes. summed up he’s a quirky demiboy w/ a little bit... of an inferiority complex, major m*mmy issues + a thirst for affection

-  sorta been in a bad spot with his mum for like, his entire life. he was an accidental curse as a result of a one night stand and his mum was, at the time, too poor to afford an abortion so she had to leave her job and look after his ass (which she has no issues in reminding him of). 

- it wouldn’t have been as bad if she didnt have an occupation that would’ve been impacted on much throughout the stages of pregnancy, but june’s mum was Not Your Average Woman. she’d been taught ballet since she was 5 years old, got accepted to the korean national ballet agency at 17 and then at the time of the pregnancy was offered a slot at the most prestigious vaganova ballet academy in russia. turning down that offer was prolly the starting point of her angst towards june tbh. 

- it's a little complicated and he probably doesn't want to talk about it but it comes down to... how he’s so unwanted and she makes no effort to make him think otherwise, because it’s true. communication is hard with someone who makes no effort so he’s also shy, introverted and quiet as a result. 

-  if you don't know him too well you probably think he is the chillest person on the planet... and he is pretty chill probably like 70% of the time but if you're friends with him then you know that he wears his heart on his sleeve and can act really quickly on his emotions. like... he doesn't hide them well, but he doesn't really display them in ways that make sense if you aren't used to it. he has a lot of... anxiety about a lot of different things.

- he loves dance, indisputably, he’s garnered a love through it from his mother.  he loves everything about dancing ... and most of what he's doing in the academy is """exploring""" with routines, different techniques and taking up diverse dance classes, ballet is his favourite but hip hop is probably were he shines best. and no ballet is not just for girls miss him w that gender constrictive bs !!!1

- june is a lil hard to get to know... he’s shy. also he’s just not good at making friends because he’s very loyal to the ones he has (a little in love with each and every one of them, oh no!). he usually seems pretty out-of-it but in fact is usually emotionally attuned to the people around him

- he can be petty tho... holds a grudge for like 12 years... at a minimum

- was not that good at academics. PASSED, obviously, but classwork for him was really not a good way to learn

- possibly a stoner? possibly an anarchist? possibly a shitposter? possibly all three at once?

- he’s not that awesome at Actually Taking Care of himself. like, he can do it but essentially bodily concerns (ie: keeping hydrated, eating things besides candy, living on a stable schedule) don't really occur to him a lot of the time. too busy livin' life i guess

- random facts r that he stress bakes and is terrible at baking so like when he's stressed and coping w it a lot of his friends, his roomates, and the people passing by the messiest dorm room evr he’s in get to deal with rock-hard cookies and "are these lumps of charcoal" ("they're EDIBLE")

- why was that relevant amber? i dont know a fucking thign my guy

- also has a scottish fold named lemons but sometimes ditches him with people please mark down your name in alphabetical order if you'd like to babysit

- positives 2 him is that he likes to make a friend and stick w them for life. like i said he's not awesome at making new friends purposefully, so probably won't have as many friends as? his friends have? THAT SAID! they're usually very easy to get along with, v nonjudgmental, kind of ridiculous but cute and fun. if u put in the effort to begin with he'll probably eventually reciprocate and then you'll be stuck with him for life (ways 2 interact with him: be a former classmate at his high school, classmates, current "dance buddies”, share his excitement abt paranormal acitivity shit since he loves aliens.. and/or CANDY, babysit his cat, let them crash on your couch, have a dog he can pet,)

- negatives wld be that As Previously Noted he holds grudges for like 12 years so if you were actually mean (as opposed to fake mean, slash teasing, whatever) to him like once when he was a second year... He Remembers. doesn't like people who have beef with his friends, doesn't like people who tell him what to do when they're not friends. he’s kinda natalie portman in the black swan in that he’s OBSESSIVELY addicted w being sort of above average? he gets jealous of things so easily istg he’s like "oh haha i dont hate them *sees them succeed* im going to demolish them." so it’s an issue

- other necessary info is that he’s demiromantic and pansexual, he falls in love w literally everyone and he needs to stop. probably. anyways please plot i think i’ve written 2 much again weeps 

[thotyssey]

On Point With: Carmen Sidemi

This hilarious drama queen-turned-drag queen is taking over NYC nightlife one venue at a time. Dishing it all about her drag family and the pros and cons of everythingin the biz, it’s the fabulous Carmen Sidemi!

Thotyssey: Hey Carmen! How was Gay College Tuesday at the Ritz this past week? You guest performed while your mama Terra Hyman hosted. Carmen Sidemi: Oh! It was so much fun, We had two amazing DJs, Steve Sidewalk and Mikey Mó. I also never realized how hot The Ritz gogo boys are until last night -- definitely some serious eye candy. Of course, working with Terra Hyman, my drag mama, is always a kiki.

They are cute there on Tuesday nights! Like, the only twinky gogo boys left in NYC, it seems. I was thinking the same thing. Someone posted about how all the gogo boys are so big and muscly nowadays. So now, I can tell them where to find the sexy twinks. Though, if you know me, you know I LOOOVE a big set of arms and thick fingers. Lol, there's something for everyone in this city! 

So Carmen, you're at that point in your drag career where you're starting to pop up everywhere.

Definitely, that’s what I love about NYC. It has certainly been a crazy year.

How long have you been Carmen now?

I've been doing drag since late July of 2016, and my original name was Shaneeda Blank. I changed it to Carmen Sidemi about 2-3 months after starting drag. In the beginning when I only saw your name on Facebook, I pronounced it "Suh-dem-ee," like you were some Polish deli or something. I laughed when I first heard it out loud. HAHAHA. Yes, I’ve gotten that before. I have so many great stories about people trying to pronounce my name. Sheila Tack gave up trying and just called me Barbara. And during the Invasion on Fire Island, the host announced me as Carmen Si-Demi. I milked it with a big laugh, mimed "Inside Me" as best I could, and she got it along with the crowd. It was a great moment.

That's the key to a great drag name!

I agree. I love when it takes people a second to get it.

So, where's you're hometown, and what were you like growing up? Oh, man! Well I'm a Florida native, born in Pembroke Pines, and I grew up in South Beach until we re-located back P. Pines in my early teens. 

Growing up, I was -- and still am -- very dramatic. About halfway through awards shows, I start pretending like I won and end up sobbing in the mirror, giving full acceptance speech realness. My bedroom was a place where I could be myself and live my fantasy! 

In school I loved attention, but was always battling with that because at the same time I didn't want to be noticed -- people made fun of me for being feminine. It felt like a constant game of tug and war.  

However, I have to say I was so lucky because my parents and family loved and supported me always. I also had/have two childhood friends that are still so amazing. That's important, I'm glad for that! 

When do you come to NYC? 2009, when I went to the one and only AMDA. I left for a year and a half after graduation for some theatre work, and then moved back in 2013. All of that feels so long ago, OMG! Every drag queen in the city went to that school, it's crazy! Do you know any queens on the scene today that were in your classes? She's a newer queen: Chola Spears. We were best friends in school. We lost touch, but then I saw her out one night in drag and we are living. 

I didn't go to school with Marti Gould Cummings, but I remember during orientation seeing her picture on the alumni wall with some of the greats that came out of the school. So crazy how things come full circle.

 How did you meet Mama Terra?

Oh god, that was the beginning of it all, I feel like. I work at the West End, and when I started there a few years ago they had such a great lineup of amazing girls! Terra was hosting a competition, Brita and Sasha Davenport were hosting "C'mon Wednesday," and Alexis Michelle and Schwa de Vivre were hosting "Super Woman." Terra and I quickly became besties, and would hang out all the time at her place and play video games and Catan till 4am. That group of girls really introduced me to NYC drag/nightlife and made a huge impact. From there, I met Jasmine Rice LaBeija from the RRRRRRoyal Haus of Labeija, and she really took me under her wing and helped me SO MUCH! That's a great pedigree! What was your first number in drag, do you remember? I actually still use it sometimes, It was a "Letter of the Day" inspired number, and the letter of the day was “C.” Then it goes into basically calling everyone a cunt. 

Oh werk, so you had the funny mixes on day one!

I love working and making mixes, and telling a story from my own perspective, if you will.

You're quite a high energy queen, splitting and death-dropping and constantly moving... were you always a dancer?

I can just see the eye rolls from these shady queens in regards to me being called a dancer. People use the word "dancer" very loosely, in my opinion... no shade. 

I did always love to dance; I took about four years of salsa in middle/high school before getting into tap, ballet, etc. But I'm very humble when it comes to calling myself a "dancer" because it's not something I do often, lol! But I will split the house down for sure, henny!

You did a great number for Miss Lady Liberty this summer... it had, like, five wig and costume reveals! I always think about how stressful it must be to keep track of the timing of all those reveals during  numbers like that. Not to mention having  to waddle out there in the beginning like a human lasagna with all that shit bolted down so it doesn’t look like five reveals! GIRL! I had HAD IT that day. I was being such a bitch because I was so hot, and no one understood because I was trying not to spoil it. As far as timing: the song I used was pretty easy to find the timing, so it just made sense to me. It also helps to rehearse the costume and wig reveals at home couple times. I do love watching those videos; my ass looked so good that night, lol! Th next time I did Lady Liberty, I decided I wasn't going to put too much pressure on myself and just do something simple. It was actually one of my favorite performances. Of course I did do a costume reveal!

Sometimes it just takes one reveal to sell it! I like the light blue flowy, witchy robe thing you wear. Are you a designer/seamstress of your looks? HAHAHA. Oh, My summer Poncho? I bought that fabric in every color. I can draw clothes, and can sew basic things, but I'm certainly not a seamstress. I learned a few things from a costume designer in Florida, and even MORE from Jasmine Rice... YouTube helps too! Every drag queen knows, or should know, stretch fabric. Here that, queens! Generally speaking, I feel like you are a like a drag queen’s drag queen. A lot of other queens in the city are really into what you do!

I wanna shout out to some people who have excepted me so open-heartedly to the drag community, and taught me so much! They were booking me when I had no experience! Terra Hyman, Jasmine Rice, Lola Michele-Kiki, Dusty Ray Bottoms, Marti G. Cummings, Brita Filter, Ari Kiki, Tammy Spanx, and Kizha Carr. I'm so grateful to know these talented people. 

An amazing group of queens! 

Did you go to Drag Con?

I DID! My very first one. I went on Sunday and was so lucky to get to work the Gypsy Wigz booth. They styled a beautiful custom-dyed wig for me, and I just pranced around enjoying all the drag. My best moment was eating a chili dog while walking the pink carpet. If anyone thought I didn't have talent, now you do. 

Yas Mama! So, it's about that time of the season when local girls start to disappear on a Mystery Cruise, while by sheer coincidence Drag Race starts filming in California. It seems like throughout the past few seasons, there have been more and more New York girls disappearing... and if our collective hunch is correct, nearly half of Season 10 will be New York queens competing. And on top of that, now we're gonna have a new show to watch exclusively about NYC drag, Shade! Is this an exciting time to be a queen in NYC, or is this all kind of a lot? I can't F******* wait for this season! I definitely think right now is an exciting time for drag in many places, but especially NYC. I'm so excited to see so many girls I know, work with, and respect on Shade. It’s really going to get to showcase what queens really experience when choosing this as a career. 

It's funny, I always hear people say "Drag Race fucked up drag,” and I can understand that perspective. But we also get to see so many new shows pop up to make up for the girls who might have other things going on.

Well, you certainly got stuff going on that we should talk about! First off, you've been giving shows at Icon in Astoria for a bit, and now you have a Weekly 6-9pm Sunday spot there, Stay Drunk Sundays. Love that show name! How do you like it at Icon? It went through a change of management and a huge revamp not too long ago.

I love Icon. The staff and the owners have been so generous to me, I'm so grateful. I heard about a few horror stories from the past, which I won't dwell on because no one involved has any ties to the place, so all I'm gonna say is: come back and give it another try. Especially Sunday! How many chances do you get to go out after a boozy brunch, put on some heels that we provide, do at least 30 seconds of a number, and you get a shot? It's such a good time. Two weeks ago, a straight man and woman celebrating their engagement with some friends came by, and THEY ALL did a Spice Girls number. I've had a few new queens pop in to do a number. It really is such a safe space for everyone. Oh, and they have 2-4-1 drink special from 5-8!

And your show there sounds like a lot of fun. As for Thursdays, we can find you hosting Gayme Night at Atlas Social Club with Scotty Em.

Yup, I just added Gayme Night on Thursdays to my weekly schedule. We finally got rid of that bitch, Holly Box-Springs. LMAO, I’m just kidding! To spill some tea, we actually went on two dates before either of us did drag. I love that girl. 

But back to Atlas, I'm there Thursdays for trivia and all sorts of games, 8-12. We give away drinks, special prizes, and JUST added a few gogo boys to serve up trade realness. I'm thinking of new ways to make it my own; I want to have a Twister tournament one night! That would be fun! Another drag Holly, Ms. Dae, used to host "naked" Twister at Phoenix! 

OMG! I love her, she has one of the BEST senses of humor.

Okay, anything else?

No special events, other than my two weekly gigs I have right now. A few things are up in the air. It’s funny, I like to call myself the "Sandra Bullock of Drag," because a lot of my gigs are super last-minute bookings if someone can't make it! Which, girl, I’m grateful for! So, I would encourage following me on Instagram or adding me on Facebook to keep up with where I'll be. Last question: What's the worst thing about drag for you, and what's the best? The worst part of actually being in drag is, sometimes, the corset after three hours. But I would say that really the hard part -- and this is gonna sound cheesy -- is battling with myself to not compare what other people have going on, and just be proud of my friends AND myself.

 It's hard sometimes, because its rare when you work in a field where your friends are your colleagues. When we aren't in drag and go out, most likely I'm kiki'ing with other queens. But a lot of the times, we are competing [in pageants or weekly competitions] for cash money. So you’re rooting for your friends, but trying to pay your damn rent. 

The best part about drag, and why I started doing it... simple. I get to conceive performances that tell a story from my perspective. I get to do it on my own time, on my own terms. And when people laugh and cheer, it makes me so happy. I feel understood. A few times the audience will be enjoying a number so much, it will make me hesitate on my next line, because I get so excited. 

But we've all had those nights when the audience is looking at you like your fucking crazy, which is also exciting because its an opportunity to make new choices that you wouldn't have made otherwise.

Thank you, Carmen! Awesome! Thanks so much for having me on your blog!  

Carmen Sidemi hosts “Stay Drunk Sundays” at Icon (6pm) and “Gayme Night Thursdays” at Atlas Social Club (8pm). Check Thotyssey’s calendar for other upcoming gigs, and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

On Point Archives 

[papermoonloveslucy]

Ethel Merman and the Boy Scout Show

S2;E19 ~ February 10, 1964

Synopsis

When Ethel Merman headlines the Annual Boy Scout Show, Lucy and Viv are relegated to being costumers. Feeling sorry for them, Merman agrees to share the spotlight.  

Regular Cast

Lucille Ball (Lucy Carmichael), Vivian Vance (Vivian Bagley), Gale Gordon (Theodore J. Mooney), Ralph Hart (Sherman Bagley) and Jimmy Garrett (Jerry Carmichael)

Candy Moore (Chris Carmichael) does not appear in this episode.

Guest Cast

Ethel Merman was born in Queens, New York, in 1908. Known primarily for her powerful belt voice and roles in musical theatre, she has been called 'the undisputed First Lady of the musical comedy stage.'  Among her many stage credits are: Anything Goes (1934), DuBarry Was a Lady (1939), Annie Get Your Gun (1946), Call Me Madam (1950), and Gypsy (1959). “There's No Business Like Show Business” from Annie Get Your Gun became her signature song. It was also the title of a 1954 movie musical starring Merman. Hollywood was not always friendly to Merman, who was replaced for the film versions of Annie Get Your Gun (1950) by Betty Hutton, Gypsy (1962) by Rosalind Russell, and Dubarry Was A Lady (1943) by Lucille Ball!  Dubarry Was A Lady also included the song “Friendship,” which was featured in “Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress” (ILL S3;E3). In 1934 Ball and Merman co-starred with Eddie Cantor in the film Kid Millions. Merman recreated her stage performances on TV in “Panama Hattie” (1954) and “Annie Get Your Gun” (1967). Merman died in 1984 from a long illness after a brain tumor.

LUCY: “You’d think she was the biggest star on Broadway.” VIV: “She is.” 

This was the second of two episodes to feature Ethel Merman. Originally, they were intended to be one episode, filmed on December 5, 1963, but the material seemed rushed and the stars were enjoying the work so it was decided to expand into a second episode. The first draft of this script was dated November 20, 1963 with pink and blue pages (updates and changes) from December 1963. 

The previous episode (which originally had this episode's title) was re-titled “Lucy Teaches Ethel Merman To Sing” and the final scene of it was rewritten to lead into this one. However, due to Merman's schedule, it wasn't filmed until a month later. By that time, Lucy had started wearing a new wig, Viv was tanned from a Christmas vacation, and Merman had changed her hair color. In between the two episodes, Desilu produced “Lucy Plays Florence Nightingale” (S2;E14), “Lucy Goes To Art Class” (S2;E15) and “Chris Goes Steady” (S2;E16).  

These two Ethel Merman episodes were re-run on CBS on May 24 and June 1, 1964.  

Lucy was a big fan of Ethel Merman and offered her a guest spot after her Desilu pilot “Maggie Brown” was not picked up for series. Lucille Ball and Gary Morton attended the filming of the pilot and Merman also was in the audience for an episode of “The Lucy Show.” On the DVD extras, Jimmy Garrett recalls that Lucille Ball caught him watching filming from the wings and whispered "Watch very carefully. You'll never see anyone better."

Vivian Vance understudied Ethel Merman as Reno Sweeney in the 1934 Broadway musicals Anything Goes and Red, Hot and Blue (1936), both by Cole Porter.

Merman is living with Lucy and Viv while she's in Danfield. Lucy and Viv were established as den mothers of their sons' scout troupe in “Lucy Visits the White House” (S1;E25).

Mr. Mooney's daughter Rosemary, who lives in Trenton, New Jersey, is about to give birth to his first grandchild. This is the fourth Mooney child to be mentioned on the series: Arnold, Bob, Ted Jr. and Rosemary. Like her mother, Irma, Rosemary is never actually seen. Lucille Ball briefly lived in Trenton, New Jersey, as an infant.  

In the living room, Merman sings a few bars of “Red, Red Robin” with Jerry and Sherman dancing around her in bird costumes. "When the Red, Red Robin (Comes Bob, Bob, Bobbin' Along)" was a 1926 popular song written by Harry Woods. It was a big hit for Al Joleson, Bing Crosby, and Doris Day. 

When Viv demands Lucy finish her costume right away, Lucy calls her a “wicked stepsister” - a reference to the fairy tale “Cinderella.”  The line gets a large round of applause from the studio audience. 

Lucy says the old manual sewing machine belongs in the Betsy Ross museum.

LUCY: “When I looked at the bobbin it was full of red, white, and blue thread.”

Coincidentally, as Lucy says this, she is wearing a blue shirt, with red and white tape measures around her neck.

Elizabeth ‘Betsy’ Griscom Ross (1752–1836) is widely credited with making the first American flag. Although there is no actual Betsy Ross museum, the Betsy Ross House on Arch Street in Philadelphia is the location where she supposedly sewed the first flag, although this fact (and her residence there) is disputed by many historians. Betsy Ross was a character on “The Jack Benny Program” in 1964 (above) when Lucy played Mrs. Paul Revere!  

Lucy tearfully tells Merman she’s always dreamed of having her ‘name up in lights’.  She tediously spells out her full name: “L-U-C-I-L-L-E  C-A-R-M-I-C-H-A-E-L”.  Ethel replies “If you ever get to Broadway, you’ve got to get a shorter name!” Not coincidentally, Ethel Merman herself shortened her name for the marquee: she was born Ethel Agnes Zimmermann!   

THE ANNUAL BOY SCOUT SHOW 

Sherman does an acrobatic dance routine as an opening act

In “Lucy the Music Lover” (S1;E8), Sherman did a quick ballet dance through the living room to impress Lucy's date. Ralph Hart was also a musical theatre performer, seen in the film musicals Gypsy, The Music Man, and Bye Bye Birdie. 

Jerry (in his scout uniform), tells a joke.

From his first audition for the series, Lucille Ball thought that Jimmy Garrett's dry delivery of his lines was hysterical.  

The adult performers alternate in providing linking narration and paging the stage curtain to transition to the next act. Technically, the Boy Scout Show does not run in one continuous cut. The paging of the curtain allows for subtle edits in the film to piece together what were separate takes. 

Merman, Lucy, Viv and Mr. Mooney sing “There's No Business Like Show Business”

The song is from Irving Berlin’s Annie Get Your Gun (1949). It will also be sung again the the Boy Scout Show's finale. Jerry spoke the title in the previous episode “Lucy Teaches Ethel Merman To Sing” (S2;E18).  

VAUDEVILLE

Lucy does a quick juggling act.  

The plates are obviously rigged for comic effect. 

Mr. Mooney and Viv sing "Tiptoe Through the Tulips", which was originally to be sung by Mr. Mooney and his wife Irma, had she not had to go to Trenton for the birth of their grandchild. 

“Tiptoe Through the Tulips (with Me)” was composed by Joe Burke with lyrics by Al Dubin for the 1929 film Gold Diggers of Broadway. In 1968, it was sung by Tiny Tim, whose version charted at #17, becoming his signature song. Due to its resurgence in popularity, the title was also mentioned on several episodes of “Here’s Lucy”.

THE FLICKERS (aka SILENT MOVIES)

Lucy, Mr. Mooney, and Ethel Merman perform a silent movie sketch about a husband leaving his wife for another woman. 

The sketch is pantomimed to honky-tonk piano accompaniment. 

THE TALKIES 

Viv as Shirley Temple sings "On the Good Ship Lollipop". Vivian Vance, an accomplished singer, makes a concerted effort to satirize the mannerisms and vocal limitations of a child performer like Shirley Temple. 

"On the Good Ship Lollipop" was composed by Richard A. Whiting with lyrics by Sidney Clare. It was the signature song of child actress Shirley Temple, who first sang it in the 1934 movie Bright Eyes. Shirley Temple was mentioned on “I Love Lucy” in 1955's “The Tour” (ILL S4;E30), by which time the former child star was married and known as Shirley Temple Black.

BROADWAY MUSICALS

A tribute to 1920s stage musicals features Lucy, Viv, Ethel Merman and Mr. Mooney

In “Lucy Teaches Ethel Merman How To Sing” (S2;E18), Viv suggested dancing the Charleston for the Boy Scout Show, but the idea was shot down by producer Sherman. The sketch also features Gale Gordon doing a cartwheel, something he would do in future ‘show-within-a-show’ episodes. After being jilted, Lucy sings a few bars of “Am I Blue?” a song written by Harry Akst and Grant Clarke in 1929. It has since become a standard, covered by many musical artists. The sketch ends happily with Merman singing the final notes of her hit “I Got Rhythm”, a song she originated in the 1930 Gershwin musical Girl Crazy and also sang in the previous episode.  

RADIO

Mr. Mooney is a radio host presenting a lady saxophone player (Lucy) from Altoona, Pennsylvania, playing "Glow Worm" (badly)

"The Glow-Worm" is a song from Paul Lincke's 1902 operetta Lysistrata. It was also used in the 1907 Broadway musical The Girl Behind The Counter. Lucille Ball had briefly played the saxophone as a child. During the radio sequence Mr. Mooney says “Round and round she goes! Where she stops, nobody knows!” This was a quote from “Ted Mack's Amateur Hour” a radio and TV talent show that began in 1934. A wheel of fortune was spun to determine the order of the performers and while it was spinning, Mack intoned the now-famous line. The show officially ended in 1970 but was revived briefly in 1993. Before entering television, Gale Gordon was the highest paid radio performer in Hollywood. Lucille Ball was also a radio performer with her own series “My Favorite Husband.” 

TELEVISION

A tribute to “The Ed Sullivan Show” and its showcase of variety acts

To show the cyclic nature of entertainment, Lucy repeats the same exact juggling act she did at the start of the show. Ed Sullivan hosted an immensely popular variety show on CBS from 1948 to 1971. Up until 1955 it was called “Toast of the Town.” Ethel Merman frequently appeared on “The Ed Sullivan Show,” often singing her signature songs.  

FINALE

Ethel Merman sings "Everything's Coming Up Roses"

"Everything's Coming Up Roses" is a song introduced by Merman in the 1959 Broadway musical Gypsy with music by Jule Styne and lyrics by Stephen Sondheim. Merman sang the song throughout her career, even to a disco beat! 

Everyone joins in for a reprise of “There’s No Business Like Show Business”

After the filming was complete, Merman recalled that she and Vance went to Lucille Ball's house for some girl talk and Lucille styled their hair – to disastrous results. Ball also threw Merman a bridal shower (above) before her month-long marriage to Ernest Borgnine in 1964.  

Callbacks!

Lucy Ricardo used a sewing machine for the first time in “Lucy Wants New Furniture” (ILL S2;E28).  

Cheesy vaudeville gags such Lucy’s rigged plate juggling were an integral part of the finale of “Ethel's Home Town” (ILL S4;E15). Fred and Ethel Mertz were former vaudevillians.  

In “Lucy Has Her Eyes Examined” (ILL S3;E11), Lucy Ricardo and the Mertzes burst into an a capella rendition of “There’s No Business Like Show Business” in an impromptu audition for Mr. Parker, a Broadway producer.  The song would also be quoted (not sung) by Lucy Ricardo in “Baby Pictures” (ILL S3;E5).

"When the Red, Red Robin (Comes Bob, Bob, Bobbin' Along)" was sung by Fred Mertz (William Frawley) in “Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress” (ILL S3;E3) and later by Lucy Carter in “Guess Who Owes Lucy $23.50″ (HL S1;E11). 

Lucy also played “Glow Worm” on “The Saxophone” (ILL S2;E2) and in “Lucy’s Club Dance” (ILL S3;E25). It was the only song she knew, until it was inexplicably “Sweet Sue” during season six! 

LUCY: “Well, you see, Ethel. All my life I’ve wanted to be in show business!” 

Lucy sobs in front of Ethel Merman because all her life she wanted to be in the show, something Lucy Ricardo also did many times on “I Love Lucy.”  The above line might easily have been spoken to Ethel Mertz or Ricky, instead of Merman.

When Merman agrees to give up one of her numbers for Lucy to be in the show, Viv asks Lucy if she would really let a big star like Merman do such a thing. Lucy lets out a high-pitched “Weeeelll” the same way that Lucy Ricardo often did. 

In 1954, “The Ed Sullivan Show” (aka “Toast of the Town”) devoted an entire hour to Lucy and Desi. Sullivan’s name and his show were mentioned several times on “I Love Lucy.” 

Lucy and Viv Charleston at the start of the ‘Broadway Musicals’ section of the Boy Scout Show. On “I Love Lucy” Lucy, Ricky, Fred and Ethel Charleston at the end of “Lucy Has Her Eyes Examined” (ILL S3;E11). 

This is the second time a silent film skit has been part of “The Lucy Show.” The first was with Lucy as Charlie Chaplin during “Chris's New Year's Eve Party” (S1;E14). 

Fast Forward!

Those red, red robins just keep bob, bob, bobbin’ again in “Kim Moves Out” (HL S4;E20) in 1974. 

The Charleston never goes out of style, as demonstrated by Lucy and Kim Carter when “Ginger Rogers Comes to Tea” (HL S4;E11) on “Here’s Lucy” in 1971.

Blooper Alerts!

Flown the Coop! Although, Ethel Merman has Lucy make 24 robin costumes so that she can sing “When the Red, Red Robin” while the scouts dance around her, the song is not in the finished show! 

Bulldog Cement? After the 1920's stage musical segment, Mr. Mooney's false mustache is falling off. It may have been due to spirit gum not adhering to Gale Gordon's own mustache or it may have been done for comic effect.  

“Ethel Merman and the Boy Scout Show” rates 5 Paper Hearts out of 5 

[squaredancing-weston]

para || Braine: A New Path, 1/04/2017

Tagging: @mr-blainderson and @squaredancing-weston

Time: Wednesday Morning, 4 January 2017

Setting: Boarding Facility (and trails), Harrod, OH

Summary:  Brody and Blaine both need to get away from Lima’s crazy, so Brody takes Blaine to learn the basics of horseback riding.

Part 3

“No, I mean, I’d definitely love to make this a regular thing,” Brody corrected himself. “I mean, we could go out once or twice a week until you built up the muscles for it. Or, you know, less, obviously,” he added, uncertain how much interest straddling an animal early in the morning would hold for the other man. But it had been a nice ride so far-- quiet, easy. “I mean, Dee likes you.” Not that Delilah didn’t like just about everyone. Brody was pretty sure saving her from being steak might have caused her to have a Scrooge-like epiphany at some time before he adopted her. “Really? You’d hang out in the barn? Like working or just sitting on a bale, watching //me// work,” he asked, raising an eyebrow. Not that he would mind-- Lucy nowadays didn’t come up so much, so he was used to doing his own work, and someone to talk to besides the horses wouldn’t suck. Brody grinned, “Wow, quite the honor-- I’m excited already. Start the holiday countdown.” Brody grinned and let out a laugh. “Yeah, it’s not even just me-- Jeffy always had the lot of us around his finger, you know?” His smile was nostalgic as he thought about his family. “I don’t know why we all decided he needed protecting, but damned if we didn’t, and god help you if the three of us found someone messing with our baby brother.” Even each other, Brody knew from personal experience. The older man’s face broke into a wide grin, “Excellent-- your first job can be to help me manipulate my list into the band’s performances. I have a big one, which is rough because technically D’s in charge of the music-- I’m just Guard. But now that my //son// is here to help…” he laughed and quirked an eyebrow playfully. 

He was so busy keeping his tone and demeanor light, Brody didn't even notice the change in Blaine's. Brody cleared his throat, nodding. Brody wasn’t really into discussing God in the first place beyond hypotheticals, but the phrasing Blaine had used...well, that was pretty damned heavy. His heart kind of broke for the guy if things had been that bad that //high school// had been his saving grace. “Well, then, it’s good you can give back to it-- if you want,” he finally responded. “But I mean, if you stayed-- for now at least-- I think you’re doing a lot of good here too.” The older man chuckled. “Seven years isn’t that long-- I’ve been here seven years,” he reminded Blaine. “You go, you pick up new stuff. If it’s what you want, change isn’t a bad thing, so long as the foundation’s still there.” Blaine elaborated, and Brody mentally berated himself-- of course he knew that Bas had gone to Dalton-- they’d talked about it back in December. Hell, Blaine’s name had even come up. He’d let the news catch him off guard //then// too. But he needed to up his game, if Blaine was starting to worry about Brody being so invested. “Yeah, I guess he must have mentioned it at some point,” he shrugged, “Although not foregoing his normal idiocy.” Brody pushed out a light laugh. Blaine’s question made him antsy, but he kept his face masked, only raising an eyebrow in puzzlement. “What? Yeah, we’re fine-- why?” He’d spent seven years building a life at this school-- he was not going to let one(/two) mistake(s) destroy everything. Brody let out a laugh, “Yeah-- you have no idea, SB. She’s always been our biggest fan, through the dumbest phases: I mean, how many mom’s would get behind their kid going into ballet //just// so he could be the Rat King. Like literally, that was the only thing I wanted for a while. And when Mark dropped out of college...or when Jeffy decided he’d only eat blue foods when he was five.” He shook his head in amusement. “That woman is a force to be reckoned with.”

Brody laughed, “Tell me about it,” he agreed. He certainly wasn’t going to be on any “favorite” list anytime soon. He dropped his grip on the reins, letting them fall into his lap as he rubbed his hands together with a faux evil grin. “Excellent. I’m the epitome of subtle.” Brody watched Blaine carefully put down the reins so he could clap, which was actually more adorable than the applause, although Brody’s bow was more in response to the latter. “Thank you-- one of my better ideas, definitely. I mean, you have to erase the whole thing every semester, because the point isn’t to give each other ammo or anything, but still-- it’s fun. But I’ll definitely send you the link, and if you want to send some over, I’m sure I can get one of my Aggies to read it. When it’s not //their// stuff, they’re a lot more enthusiastic about the posts.” Brody shrugged. “Yeah, I guess guns in general are a bit iffy in my book too.” His grinned wide at Blaine’s words. “Absolutely-- I’ll start asking around, get a full list of what goes into badges at our age, and we’ll make a whole thing of it. It’ll be fun.” He leaned over in his saddle to pat Blaine on the shoulder. “Well, don’t worry-- I’ve got lots of eccentric skills that all people should know. It’ll be great. I’m excited.”

 “Well, I think I would love to make this a regular thing too, honestly,” he responded, gazing out once more to the openness around him. “It’s been a while since I’ve felt this relaxed. It’s definitely something I could get used to.” He chuckled, shifting his leg again. “I think once or twice a week sounds pretty reasonable. No more, no less, I think it would be fine. I think Bing would like it too, though I obviously can’t speak for him,” he teased. “Aww,” he said, patting the horse’s neck in front of him, “I like her too. She’s a sweetheart.” And he meant it. He knew that some horses sometimes didn’t take to well to first time riders, so he was relieved to have Dee as his first. He looked over at Brody, a small smirk playing at his lips. “I mean, obviously, I would help if you really needed me to, but I was mostly going to be content with watching.” He snickered a little bit before smiling genuinely. “Helping or watching, I wouldn’t mind coming and hanging out. I like it out here. It’s peaceful, and you’re a good guy to hang out with.” Blaine scoffed, carefully sliding out his phone and pulling up his countdown app, showing it to Brody. “It started the day after Christmas. I’m a bit of a holiday freak.” A smile broke onto Blaine’s face, despite his small bit of jealousy. “That’s just the way baby siblings are, right? They’re usually the smallest for the longest time at least, and they can literally do no wrong because by some point the older siblings are the ones getting into trouble. The image of innocence can go a long way.” That is one thing he could say about his family. Coop, despite his self-involved attitude and his willingness to constantly pick on his younger brother, always had his back in some sort of way at the end of the day, even if it was often misguided and not very obvious. Blaine gave his older friend a disapproving look, shaking his funk off once and for all. “If Dani’s really set in her ways with the music, I’m not going to be the one to try to step in on it. I’ve picked up that she can be slightly terrifying, and that’s not a side I ever wanna be on.”

 Blaine finally noticed how heavy he had become, noticing the stiff pause in conversation. “Oh, my god, I’m so sorry. I never meant to let the conversation get like that. Tell me to shut up next time, geez,” he said, trying to make light of it, but slightly failing. He had gotten lost in those thoughts, but he had come a long way from being affected by them. He had grown so much since the time of his transfer, and despite having certain triggers through the years, he had gotten himself to a place that was much more positive. He mentally kicked himself for getting that deep. He shook it off, and continued. “Yeah, I suppose your right. I don’t know, it’s just some big shoes to fill, you know? Or at least that’s how I’m building it up in my head; I should probably stop that.” He smiled in gratitude at the compliment. “Thank you for that reassurance. I like to think that I’m doing what I can to get at least some good flowing through my classes. I guess I’ll have to wait and see if that’s actually true or not.” Blaine chuckled, though it came out sounding a bit more uncomfortable that he intended. He proceeded again, still hesitate in his answer. “I just…he seems to be growing distant, withdrawing himself a little, you guys haven’t really been interacting online like you used to, every time I’ve mentioned his name today, it hitches the conversation, however briefly…” he trailed off, shrugging slightly. By no means did he want to push the man into talking to him, but he couldn’t help but be concerned. After New Year’s, it just seemed like everything that had been happening, the playful banter online between all of them, had just stopped completely. Blaine tried to hide his smile. “The Rat King, huh? Well, I guess go big or go home. Only blue foods? Did his diet consist solely of candy, or did your mom have to by copious amounts of food coloring?” he asked teasingly. “She sounds wonderful, honestly.”

He eyed his older colleague suspiciously. “Somehow I don’t believe you. Believe me when I say that if you go too far past legitimate subtlety, I may just ban you from future performances,” he said, small smile on his face to indicate his joking. He laughed. “Of course, there will be no ammo exchange. Though I do hope that your Aggies will get into it. They could do full reenactments! That’d be hilarious with some of the texts that I’ve had the, um, pleasure of reading.” He grinned, shaking his head. “Should we make this a teacher wide thing? Every Friday we could have small badge ceremonies. Though trust me, I have no qualms in having special treatment and being the only one that’s able to receive them. I’m excited too. Get cracking on your cookie making skills. Marley’s mom set a high bar.”

Brody nodded with an easy smile. “Yeah, I guess I take it for granted sometimes, but it definitely gives you a chance to just escape for a while.” Wasn’t that what he’d been doing for the past few days, after all? Just escaping from Marley and Sebastian and Lima and hiding out in the woods with a nonjudgmental horse? “That sounds good to me: we’ll figure out something that works; maybe talk to one of the other boarders about borrowing one more long-term.” He’d loaned out Dee a few times, so he figured his connections could probably work that back in his favor, hopefully. “Yeah, we’ll definitely have to see how he takes to the saddlebag, since I now have that image stuck in my head.” Brody grinned as Blaine complimented his girl. “Yeah, well, she’s good people, despite what her previous owners might have thought--I got a hell of a deal on her and she’s never given me any trouble.” Brody was still surprised that he’d gotten so lucky with the mare-- she was in great shape, and perfect for what he’d wanted. He almost felt bad paying what he had for her. Brody laughed, “Yeah, well, I can teach you to do some clean work if you want to earn your keep-- grooming and watering and the like,” he offered, “but I’ll take someone who can talk back as much as an actual laborer, to be honest.” Brody glanced down at his hands for a second even with the smile beaming across his face-- because, no, he wasn’t a good guy, but he liked that Blaine thought so. He always was happy when people thought he was good people-- Brody was a guy that thrived on validation. “Thanks man; I definitely don’t mind the company either way, so long as you don’t, you know, destroy anything or decorate the place in bowties, because that would be weird.” He chuckled playfully, but his eyes quirked up incredulously at Blaine’s phone. “Are you serious? Okay, I lied-- you’re already weird,” he joked, shaking his head with a smile. He sighed, “Yeah, I guess so. I mean, Jeffy got into the least trouble in general, so I think it wasn’t even the illusion of innocence, honestly. Probably actual innocence for the most part. Me, on the other hand...” he trailed off with a mischievous smirk and a shrug. His eyes went wide in disapproval. “What? You’re not going to help me? As your father, I’ll have you know I’m incredibly disappointed in you for not helping me manipulate your mother.” He shook his head in faux disappointment.

Brody didn’t want to make a big deal out of the situation, especially if Blaine didn’t want to get into it, so he shook his head and waved a hand dismissively, “Nah, don’t worry about it-- we’re good.” He did nod at Blaine’s reflection though. “Yeah, you’ve got to be careful about building things up on a pedestal, I’ll give you that. I mean, everything’s flawed, right? Even the best stuff. So you just go in and you remember what good it did, and help keep that part intact. But I wouldn’t worry about that, SB-- I mean, you’ve got some big feet,” he laughed. “Hey, I meant it. I think you’re doing a hell of a job here. We’re lucky to have you.” Brody kept his face neutral, maybe a little puzzled, but his stomach knotted. God he’d really done a number on everyone, hadn’t he? “I mean, I don’t know-- with the break, I’ve been pretty busy, so I mean, I just haven’t been as--” he gestured with his hands “--active, in general, I guess? And, I mean, no offense to the guy, but with Sebastian’s social life, maybe he’s not withdrawing as much as redirecting? I don’t know.” Redirecting definitely-- away from him and toward any guy at any bar. “But, I mean, I can talk to him, if you want,” he offered. “I don’t think he’d tell me if something was bothering him, but...” Except Bas had definitely already been talking about what was bothering him-- he’d made it very clear about what-- or who-- was bothering him. Brody grinned widely, “Right? Get a big paper mache head and a sword-- that was my dream when I was eight years old. I was a weird kid. Uh, blueberries, grapes, corn, potatoes-- kind of expensive habit really, when you think about it, and I’m not sure he knew the difference between blue and some shades of purple, now that I say it out loud. But yeah-- either dotted in there, like waffles, or she got creative with the food dye. I don’t think Jeffy would have been allowed to just eat candy-- even if there had been good blue candy out there. She’s pretty awesome,” he agreed.

The older man’s mouth opened in disbelief. “I can’t believe you don’t trust me, SB,” he argued, lips twitching. “How can you not trust a face like this?” he added, quirking a brow. Brody laughed, “Oh god-- that would be something. They’d probably make sock puppets or train the chicks come spring-- oh god, stop me before I end up giving them ideas…” He shook his head, “Well, it sounds like your class has much more interesting notes than mine. I get a few gems sometimes, but mostly it’s just drivel. Not that I mind-- I don’t want to make trouble, just keep their damn phones out of my class.” Brody grinned. “That sounds pretty awesome, assuming you can keep up with earning a badge every week.” He shrugged, “Cookies? That’s boring. I think we should do something more exciting, like Human Tetris Badge, or Course Crashing Badge. You know: useful skills.”

Blaine just smiled in response, agreeing with the man. He could see the appeal in escaping to a place like this, away from everything else for a while. He nodded, though feeling a little uneasy. “Sounds great, but I also understand if they say no. I mean, it’s not like they know me. And of course, if they would want to meet me or anything, that’s understandable too.” He bit his tongue to keep from rambling too much. Not only was he excited about the prospect of riding more, but the thought that one of the other boarders wouldn’t be okay with it was keeping him grounded, and the two conflicting emotions was attempting to send his mouth into a frenzy. He cracked a grin, amused by the fact that Brody seemed to be as struck by the idea of Bing riding with them as he was. “Patience, Brodes. We’ll get there at some point. Hopefully soon. I’m not sure how long he’ll stay this small.” Blaine quirked an eyebrow. “Yeah? What’s the story with her previous owners? It’s amazing to think that anyone would want to give her up in the first place.” And it was true. She was a beauty and completely sweet. It really was a wonder. Blaine chuckled and nodded. “Well, if it’s to earn my keep, then by all means.” His face split into a wide grin as he shook his head. “Honestly, I don’t mind to do the work. I’ve become a bit too content in my laziness. I would actually prefer to have something to do.” He watched as Brody beamed through his compliment, a small smile still resting on his face before clutching his chest in mock disappointment. “Oh man, I was really hoping to find a use for that bow tie wallpaper that I had.” He rolled his eyes as he slipped his phone back into his pocket, knowing that it was weird, but he couldn’t help it. He loved the holidays. Blaine smirked. “Oh, you were the troublemaker I take it?” Blaine just shrugged, a playful smile on his face. “What can I say? I tend to be more of a Momma’s boy.”

Blaine sighed and nodded with a tight smile, still feeling uncomfortable with the fact that he allowed himself to even start down that road at all. He could only be thankful that it was with someone that he trusted. He stared out into space a little as he listened to Brody. He was fully comprehending everything being said, but the after almost spilling everything, and the thought of Dalton in general kind of shook him a little bit. But, still listening completely, his head snapped over at Brody at the comment about his feet. He looked over the side of the horse and down at his feet. He scoffed, shaking his head, looking back up. “Rude,” he muttered under his breath. His face softened as Brody gave him a compliment of his own. “Thank you. I’m trying, at least, and I’m glad to hear that I may be succeeding.” He watched Brody explain his reservation over the past couple of days and sighed. He huffed out a laugh. “Redirecting is one word for it, sure.” He observed Brody and shook his head. “No…don’t worry about it. I mean, of course, if you want to, you can, but…” he trailed off, not really knowing where to go with the statement. He didn’t want to push anyone, and Brody was included in that. Blaine grinned back. “Hey, everyone has at least one dream that seems weird to everyone else.” He thought for a moment and laughed. “Like, for example, my sophomore year I was dead set determined to write a play that followed the tragic rise and fall of Britany Spears. And I wanted to play the Chris Crocker role that I wrote.” Blaine nodded, realizing the foods he had embarrassingly not thought of, though still amused and happy with the thought of a mother like that. “That does make more sense. I’ve heard of stranger things, though, so I guess it works.”

 Blaine giggled. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, Brodes. It’s just a soft warning, is all. I gotta keep you in line somehow,” he replied with a grin. He laughed with the older teacher and nodded. “I really don’t want to stop you though because I like these ideas.” He shrugged. “It’s mostly just your regular old teenage drama. But the things that kids are coming up with nowadays to call drama. It’s a lot more than what I dealt with in school. Though, of course if you’re not trying to cause trouble, I’ll try to keep an eye on the softer stuff.” Blaine’s eyebrows shot up. “Every week? Geez, Brodes, I’m not sure I can do that. I do still have a job and a new puppy. But I’ll do what I can.” Blaine chuckled and shook his head. “I meant more for the ceremonies. But do I want to know what you mean by Human Tetris?”

Brody scoffed at Blaine’s uncertainty, patting his mare.  “No-- I mean, I doubt it would be a problem, and honestly, it’s not like //you’d// be riding her.”  Brody wouldn’t want to risk someone else’s horse with an inexperienced rider, honestly-- Blaine was right about that.  But that didn’t put a real damper on the idea.  “I mean, you could easily stay on Dee, and they already know me, so I’m sure they wouldn’t mind the break, honestly.”  Brody wasn’t usually that eager to share his horse with coworkers-- it was like letting someone borrow his truck, only much more sensitive-- but Blaine seemed to be doing pretty well, and honestly, Brody kind of missed the company since Lucy began growing up and out of her horse phase.  He chuckled at Blaine’s response about Bing.  “Well, if he gets too much bigger, he’s going to be relegated to running alongside instead of sitting in a saddlebag up top.”  Brody smiled as he glanced over at the chestnut horse plodding along easily beneath Blaine, and shrugged his shoulders.  “To be fair, I don’t really know.  She’s a purebred, obviously, but I don’t know if she ever was a runner, or even intended to be.  It’s possible that there was just something trivial they didn’t want to use, and she didn’t take to another spot in the program.  That’s how it goes with breeding, a lot of times-- dogs too,” he nodded in considering to Bing.  “If they hadn’t been able to sell her to a private owner, they probably would have cut their losses, but I mean, she was in good shape and had a soft personality, and ever since I’ve had her she’s been a cakewalk.  So really I kind of feel like I might have robbed //them//.”  Brody gave a full laugh at the idea of Blaine mucking out stalls, but he nodded in agreement, “Well, if you’re interested, I certainly won’t stop you from helping.  If I’m picking up some slack for the both of these two, it’ll definitely be enough work to make you feel like you’re anything but lazy.”  The older man clucked his tongue and tipped his head sideways, “Well, unfortunately you’ll just have to save it for another occasion I guess: maybe when you start decorating Bing’s doggie house, otherwise known as the guest cottage,” he added in amusement.  His blue eyes widened in faux surprise.at the accusation, “Me?  I was innocent as pure driven snow.  It was all Bob’s fault if any of my actions turned out...untoward,” he smirked.  “I mean, at least Mom had Mark, who had kind of a stick up his ass, even when we were kids, and Jeffy, who wouldn’t hurt a fly.  I guess it’s just a debate over whether you think it’s more trouble to have a kid that purposely gets into trouble, or one who tends to be a little...short-sighted in his decision-making.”  His lips twitched in guilty amusement at what he and his brothers had put his mother through growing up.

Brody cleared his throat as he bit his lip to try to stifle a laugh when his comment about Blaine’s feet caused the other man’s gaze to shift toward his feet.  However, the follow-up apparently cleared things up, because Blaine’s features warmed back up quickly; and Brody nodded in welcome.  “It’s a full-time gig, what we do,” he told Blaine, shifting in the saddle.  “I mean, every day you’re giving them something that they could easily carry with them for the rest of their life.  You’ve just got to brace yourself and do the best you can, and you’ve pretty much got that down I think.”  The older teacher gave a casual smile and nodding along as Blaine reacted to his answer, apparently accepting it and not demanding the man approach Sebastian about all of this mess that he’d created.  At this point, it would be better if Brody just stayed out of everyone’s way, after all.  His eyebrows quirked up, laughing in amazement as Brody explained his “weird” dream from high school.  “Britney Spears?  Really?  Is this like Mamma Mia! then, only actually following the artist in question?  I mean, I think I’d understand the Rat head better...Who’s Chris Crocker?”  Brody smiled happily at the memory; it had been easier then, when they were all little and looked out for each other and Brody didn’t screw everything up.  “I mean, I guess-- I’m sure Mom would have preferred an easier color like green or yellow or something.  I take it you didn’t have phases like that?”

“Keep //me// in line?  I’m sorry-- which one of us is the father, and therefore the responsible one by default?”  Brody rolled his eyes, “Be careful what you wish for Blaine-- you’ll find out really fast that I am more than capable of getting carried away with my own train of thought.  My poor Stat kids probably have to deal with that the most.”  Most of the grading for Stat’s class came from projects that Brody came up with, after all, rather than testing.  Brody figured the AP exam was enough stress, the tests didn’t need to be another source of anxiety.  “Ah, yes-- the hardships of being a teenager.  How can we possibly understand the pain and suffering that they’re experiencing, Blaine?  Although-- is that something you didn’t have to deal with because you went to private school, or because the times are different now?” he followed up.  Brody was sure he’d had his share of high school drama, but as an adult the angst was a little ridiculous to hear about.  “Eh, if you want to send it through, we can edit and/or censor where necessary.  We do it anyways-- what’s one more set, right?”  The teacher let out a dramatic huff, “You mean you can’t devote every spare hour of your life to building skills specifically for my amusement, Blaine?  Talk about disappointing.  Fine, fine-- we’ll just arrange badge ceremonies as necessary, I guess.”  He quirked an eyebrow over at the other man, “Seriously?  You never played Human Tetris in college?  It’s this...it’s where you all pick shapes and you have two columns on the lawn and pick random numbers and try to��” He wasn’t explaining it very well, he knew.  “It’s kind of like Twister, only with shapes.  And copious amounts of alcohol,” he finally settled with a laugh.

Blaine nodded in understanding, feeling a little more relieved in hearing those words. “That’s fair. Not to mention that I like Dee; we’re bonding. It’d be strange to just jump on another horse after her,” he replied lightly, laughing a little. Partially because the thought of having to get used to another horse made him more nervous than he thought it ever would. He got lucky with Dee, and the uncertainty of whether or not he’d get lucky with the next horse, or even if there was anything to be nervous about drove him insane. Blaine cracked a grin and shrugged. “He has a lot of energy, so it wouldn’t surprise me if he ends up actually /wanting/ to run alongside. Then again, I’m his owner, which means he may be getting a little too pampered, so it’s all up in the air from here.” Blaine bobbed his head as he listened to Brody explain, though he had to admit that he wasn’t completely savvy of the inner workings of breeding. Though the two dogs he had in his life were either purebred or a designer breed, he didn’t really pay attention to either. He was too young to understand when his family got Lula, and Bing just happened to be incredibly cute on an online advertisement, and both had worked out incredibly well in his favor. He shrugged with a small smile on his face. “I think it’s safe to say that you probably did rob them in a way. She’s a catch, this one is.” Blaine chuckled and nodded. “I don’t mind, though I may need to invest in some work clothes now. You know, regular jeans and shirts, boots. The thought of even doing work like that in what I have on now is just horrendously terrifying,” he said, gesturing down to his admittedly still too nice button down and straight legged jeans for extra emphasis. He scoffed at the thought of a dog house with /bow tie/ wallpaper throughout. Blaine had his eccentricities, but even he knew what was going too far. He cocked an eyebrow at the older teacher. “Oh? And I take it you were the short-sighted one?” He laughed a little and shook his head. “And pray tell, what sort of things did you get in trouble for?”

Blaine smiled warmly, agreeing completely with the sentiments that Brody had just expressed. In fact, he had first hand, personal knowledge of the actual truth that was there. “You’re right, of course. And again, thank you,” he paused for a moment and continued. “And I think it’s obvious from how your kids are around you that you’re doing well, too. But, then again, you’ve been doing this a bit longer than I have,” he said playfully. He laughed, seeing the expression on Brody’s face. Nodding, he continued his explanation. “Yes and no. It is following Britney Spears and her life, and it does involve many of her actual songs, but I ended up writing a few myself. They were incredibly horrible, I realized years later, and all copies were promptly burned.” He looked at Brody curiously. “You really don’t know who Chris Crocker is? The “Leave Britney Alone” guy?” Blaine chuckled, agreeing with his friend. “Yeah, I suppose green would’ve been easier. Or brown, actually. And I did, yeah, they just took different forms,” he added with a shrug. “For example, when I was about 4 or 5, I refused to go to bed without first watching The Little Mermaid. Every night. For about five months. I don’t remember if I got tired of it or just got past the phase, but my mom, to this day, refuses to have anything to do with it.

Blaine shook his head disapprovingly. “It’s completely possible for the child to be the responsible on in the relationship sometimes, Brodes. Not that I don’t think you’re responsible, but given my age, I think it’s safe to say that we’re in more of a mutually dependent relationship where we have to keep /each other/ in line.” He stared at the older man for a minute, wondering what could possibly be a source of torture for his students before he caved. “Alright, I give; what are you doing to your poor Stat students?” It had been a long time since he had even had a math class, let alone stats. He knew that there were possibilities for creativity, but he had never thought about it himself. Blaine thought about Brody’s question before he shrugged. “I think the fact that it was an all-boys private school where the majority of the student body was in fact straight and preferred to talk to other straight guys about their relationship problems helped. They came to me for some stuff, but for the most part, they just liked to compare notes; so, yeah, I actually avoided a great deal of the drama after my transfer.” He paused, shaking his head. “But in a way, yeah, times have changed as well, you know. Even the drama I did have to deal with is nothing compared to some of the things I’ve seen here. I mean, I was already 18 when Grindr was developed; technology and the ways things can spread now has changed the face of teenage drama.” He stopped himself before he thought about it anymore because he knew that was just a whole other can of worms that he probably didn’t want to open. Blaine laughed when he heard the huff beside him. “I’m sorry, Brody. Unfortunately, I can’t entertain you all the time, as much as you know I live to please you.” Blaine pulled a sturgeon face as he shrugged. “I guess not; I’ve never even heard of it. It sounds very interesting, though. I’m sad I missed out.”

Brody grinned.  “Of course you are-- who wouldn’t become instant besties with a girl like that?”  He nodded along with Blaine’s thoughts about Bing.  “Well, I mean, I don’t know about this one, but Delilah’s definitely easy about animals at her feet.  And it’s not like there’s no such thing as a dog following on a trail ride.  They just aren’t usually as...fluffy.”  He laughed at the thought of the half-poodle keeping up along the path.  “He might need a good hosing down on a regular basis.  We could always see what happens-- personally, I’m kind of getting attached to this saddlebag idea though.”  In his head the older teacher was incredibly entertained by the thought of Bing hanging out of a leather pack as the quarterhorse plodded along, tongue hanging out of his mouth like a very slow car ride.  Brody beamed happily at Blaine’s reply, and nodded.  “I think so too-- I mean, I really just kind of wanted a piece of home out here, you know?  So I was lucky to have found her.  Otherwise I might have shelled out for something crazy, like an Arabian, or a fat horse.”  He laughed. “I wonder if they make work bowties?  But yeah, I mean, I’ve got some spare gear you can borrow, obviously-- gloves and stuff.  But you’ll probably want to get a good pair of boots if we’re going to really do this, for sure.”  He glanced down at Blaine’s feet with a smirk.  “I mean, it does all wash out, I promise; but you’ll probably want to be more comfortable than you are in, well, //that//.”  Blaine really looked like he’d come out for a horse //buy//, rather than a horse //ride//.  When the younger man called him out on his antics, Brody just grinned and shrugged.  “Maybe a little-- impulse control was never really my strong suit growing up.”  Not really his strong suit //now// either, but that was irrelevant to the point.  “Really, just the normal stuff--girls, drag racing, sneaking out to a field for some stupidity. I was the //King// of Improv Repairs at our house, so that was kind of half-success, half-horrible, horrible failure, to be honest.  But really just that sort of thing.” 

Brody smiled genially, and nodded-- teaching was one of those jobs that you really did need all the support and encouragement you could get, or you could easily get lost in the hamster wheel.  Ha laughed at Blaine’s response, though.  “Yeah, well, trust me-- I was not the brilliant mentor you see before you today at your age.  It took a while to find my stride, which was mostly getting the hell out of the books.  I don’t know if you know this about me, but I actually //really// hate math.” He winked at the other.  “So you can see how that could cause a little bit of a hiccup at first.”  Brody arched an eyebrow, impressed.  “You wrote your own songs in high school?  That’s actually pretty amazing, SB.  I mean, I tried my hand at simple choreography, but song writing’s a whole different animal there.  I’d think anything that made sense would be a hell of an accomplishment. Although now I may abduct you and hold you hostage until you perform this show, because it sounds pretty damned awesome.”  Brody laughed, and his expression shifted to one of recognition.  “//That// guy?  Pete, Blaine-- I didn’t realize he actually had a name.  I just figured he was the ‘Leave Britney Alone’ Guy.  You know, like the kid after the dentist or people in flash mobs.”  He smiled and nodded along with Blaine’s addition, and then lifted his lips in a crooked smile.  “Every night?  Man, I’m surprised your parents didn’t realize you were gay right then,” he laughed.  “Although it’s not like you were dressing up as Ariel, so maybe they just figured you were sensitive-- I’m sure mine did when I insisted on taking ballet, right?” He cocked an eyebrow.  “After four months though-- are you really surprised?” 

Brody scoffed.  “Well that sounds just disappointing.  I thought this whole //dad// thing was coming with automatic perks.”  He shook his head, “What?  Nothing-- really.  I mean, they may have to go through weird bouts of random projects based on everything from grocery store inventory to internet ads, but I throw in some relevant stuff too.  Just the other day I used one of their bio assignments to whip up a standard deviation project revolving around vowels in invertebrate terminology, so that was sort of useful, at least.  Hey, at least I’m not throwing a test at them every other day right?”  Brody tilted his head as he watched Blaine explain private school, and he couldn’t help but add, “Mostly straight guys in a private school?  I’m sure Bas was thrilled.”  He had to fight not to wince at his own stupidity- wasn’t he trying //not// to talk about Sebastian?  Or think about him?  He needed to work at that.  “But yeah-- I mean, a lack of drama definitely has its perks.  Oh god-- Grindr.  Did you actually use that?  I think I’d be mortified to find any of my kids were playing around with accounts like that, even if they //were// 18.”  The older man huffed and shook his head.  “Well damn-- maybe I should be more careful about who I decide to recruit for Scouts next time.  I thought the whole point of that thing was to earn badges to make yourself interesting?”  He shrugged.  “It probably isn’t as amazing as it is when your 20-something and drunk, I’ll give you.  But there’s definitely a nostalgia factor in there.”